#this ones to all my babygirls i see your comments ladies and they make me smile. im lurkin and im stalkin when you least expect it.

[steampunkskullz]

@bruhstation madonna stuns in new selfie

[iridescentkippen]

playlist 22/?: crisp autumn air

# of songs: 40

about: the feeling of pumpkin spice lattes, walks in the fall leaves, and autumn charlie brown tv specials playing on box tvs. 

features: pretty girl by clairo, do i wanna know? by arctic monkeys, marjorie by taylor swift, bloom by the paper kites, and more.

please like/reblog if you enjoyed! it helps because links don’t show up in tags :))

[igbylicious]

whichever way [woosan x reader] pt14

pairing: woosan x f reader

rating: 18+

genre: smut, fluff-ish, neighbours au, FWB to QPR

ch. summary: You and Wooyoung do a little online shopping for a good cause.

wc: 9.3k

ch. warnings: sub Wooyoung, dom San & reader, pegging, anal fingering / sex (Woo receiving), blowjobs, cumming untouched, hairpulling, dirty talk, degradation kink, dacryphilia (ofc), orgasm control, multiple orgasms, light spanking, Woo gets spitroasted — but first he sucks the strap uwu, petnames (‘cockslut’, ‘babygirl’, ‘good boy’ for Wooyoung, ‘baby’ for reader)

a/n: features a soft-bodied, aromantic reader who uses she/her pronouns.

a/n²: only the epilogue left 〒▽〒 don’t touch me i’m emotional 〒▽〒

masterlist. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, epilogue

The sky is already darkening by the time San gets back to the apartment building after his late afternoon gym visit, and a crisp smell hangs in the air from an autumn shower that recently passed by. It’s invigorating, keeping San bright and alert despite the satisfying ache in his body from his post-workout exhaustion.

He picks up the mail on his way back; including yours, of course. His key chain has been a little heavier for some time now, but he likes the weight and jingle of it in his hand.

San sifts through the mail as he waits for the elevator to come down. It takes a bit longer than usual, but finally the door opens with its familiar ‘ding’ — revealing one of San’s neighbours inside.

Mrs Yoon.

“Oh! Hi, Mrs Yoon,” San says awkwardly, standing aside to let her through. He tries not to think about the last time he talked to the old lady, which only makes him think about it harder, an embarrassed heat burning under his skin.

Mrs Yoon gives him a crinkled smile as she steps out the elevator. “Hello, young man,” she politely greets him back, but there is a cheeky glint in her eyes.

San’s skin burns hotter, and can’t decide if it’s a mercy or a torment that she doesn’t acknowledge their previous conversation, leaving it all unspoken between them. Instead she simply wishes San a pleasant evening and starts to walk past him, going about her business without embarrassing him any further.

She probably intends for it to be a mercy — but something nags at San as Mrs Yoon leaves, and he realises he can’t let her go just yet.

“Ah, Mrs Yoon, could you wait a moment? Please?” he asks. “There is something I’d like to talk about.”

She stops her little shuffle towards the exit, blinking at San in surprise. “Of course, dear. What’s on your mind?”

What’s on his mind? You. You are.

Specifically, the jaded resignation on your face when you’d brushed off San’s concern about Mrs Yoon’s boyfriend-comment; when you told him you’re used to it.

He doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like that you need apathy to shield yourself from a world that’s oblivious to your lived experience at best, and at worst believes it’s something to be fixed. San isn’t naive; he knows he can’t take away society’s constant pressure for romantic attachment by himself. But there is something he can do right here and now.

Maybe today, he can be your shield instead.

“Um, Mrs Yoon, when we ran across you the other day… I just wanted to say, she’s not my girlfriend,” San says with calm warmth, a friendly smile on his face. Making it clear as politely as possible that he’s not starting a discussion, just stating a fact.

Mrs Yoon blinks at him in confusion, but then she breaks out in a smile of her own, filled with misplaced understanding.

“Ahhh, I see! And the other young man, he is not your boyfriend then, hm?” she grins slyly, like she’s in on some covert plot of secrecy. “I got it, your secret is safe with me. Though if I can give a piece of advice; a little more discretion wouldn’t hurt if you want to keep it a secret for much longer! If an old biddy like me has figured it out, then I can’t be the only one.”

San sighs a weary chuckle at the further misunderstanding. “No, no there’s no secrets. Wooyoung is my boyfriend,” he says, and Mrs Yoon’s confusion comes back tenfold. “But it’s different with her. We’re… We are friends. Really close friends. She’s very important to me.”

Something softens in Mrs Yoon’s face at San’s simple earnestness. She scratches her chin as she mulls it over, but eventually comes to a decision with a firm nod. “Hmm, well. Nothing wrong with that either, I suppose. Just as long as you three treat each other right.”

The safe politeness in San’s smile melts away, making way for honest happiness. “We do, Mrs. Yoon. Always.”

Grinning, she reaches up to suddenly pinch his cheek. San lets out a tiny ack, more out of surprise than pain, though her grip is surprisingly strong. “Now that I know,” she winks cheekily, then releases him. “Have a nice evening together, young man. She’s very lucky to have a good friend like you.”

Ah, and there Mrs Yoon gets it wrong again. “No, I’m the lucky one here, I reckon,” San grins. She shakes her head with a little reedy laugh, like his answer is exactly what she expected from him.

With that, San parts ways with Mrs Yoon and takes the elevator to the top floor. To you and Wooyoung.

San finds his and Wooyoung’s apartment empty when he drops off his bag — though honestly, he’s stopped thinking of the two spaces as ‘yours’ and ‘theirs’. So he gives Byeol a sweet little kiss on the top of her sweet little head, then goes over next-door without too much thought. Some days San enjoys a bit of alone time, but this is not one of them.

No, San can’t wait to curl up on the couch against one or two of his favourite people, maybe order in some food today so the time can be spent just lazing around in each others’ company.

When he opens the door to your apartment (strictly legally speaking), San hears an animated conversation happening. He perks up in curiosity, heading in closer to make out the words of what seems to be a lively discussion.

He finds you and Wooyoung on the couch, scrolling through something on your phone.

“Oohh, this looks pretty! And affordable too,” you say, looking to Wooyoung for his agreement — until you spot San and give him a little wave. “Hey, welcome back! Had a good workout?”

“Yeah, real good,” San says, a fond smile crinkling his eyes. Sounds like you and Wooyoung are looking at apartment listings again; something that started out as just fun and casual, building little fantasies around the possibilities, but the search is slowly growing more intentional.

But Wooyoung makes a face at your phone screen, shaking his head. “Too small,” he says decisively. “Ah, San! San! Good, you’re here, you can settle this for us!”

“Sure, lay it on me,” San says, naively assuming it’s about one of the listings. Then again, the way you immediately roll your eyes in exasperation…

“Seriously, Woo? You’re still on that?”

Wooyoung ignores you, turning to San with grim determination. “San. Tell her that if I don’t get to fuck other people, then she doesn’t get to either! A closed relationship, that’s what we agreed on.”

“That’s what you agreed on. You and San. I never agreed to any such thing.”

San blinks in baffled confusion. What? “Wait, you want to sleep with others? You barely have the stamina to keep up with us,” he blurts out, unable to fully process the idea that you’d want to open the relationship up.

“Hey,” you pout.

“What, ‘hey’?” he chuckles. “You’re the one who blamed us for that UTI because we are, and I quote, ‘horny demons who thrive on obliterating your poor bladder’s bacterial ecosystem’. Seriously, since when are you looking for more?”

“I’m not! Woo is just making drama over nothing!” you sigh, shooting Wooyoung some heavy side-eye. “I only pointed out that because we kinda winged this whole throuple situation, that technically we never made any rules about me and any hypothetical interest I might have.” Your side-eye deepens at the last part.

“Right,” Wooyoung says, returning your side-eye in equal force. “Hypothetical. Because you totally didn’t bring that up out of nowhere after sniffing around for gossip on San and Yunho’s past… activities.”

Yunho?! Since when is he on your radar?

It throws you too; your side-eye breaks as you look at Wooyoung in surprise. “That’s what this is about? Because I asked about him?” You let out a small, endeared giggle at Wooyoung’s jealous streak. “Woo, I’m just curious about the guy, is all! I finally get to meet him in person next week, I’ve only heard him on voice chat when you guys play that Mile of Mythologies thing together.”

“League of Legends!” San and Wooyoung protest simultaneously like clock-work.

“Yeah yeah,” you grin. “So, can we stop throwing a fuss over nothing or picking on me for having a delicate bladder?”

“Hey, I’m not picking on you for that. Honestly, all things considered it’s kind of a miracle you only got a UTI once. You got a toughie in there!” Wooyoung points out, grinning as he pats your lower stomach.

“Thank you! Now let’s go back to the important things in life, shall we?” You raise up your phone back up to go look at apartment listings again. Or so San thinks, at least.

(Somewhere in the back of his head, San vaguely notes that technically, you still haven’t agreed on a damn thing about the sleeping-with-other-people thing. Not that Wooyoung’s objections were needed; you don’t seem to actually have any serious considerations about Yunho, or anyone else. Well, and even if you did…

San smiles absent-mindedly. It’s not like he has bad memories of those past ‘activities’ with Yunho. The direct opposite, in fact. The idea of teaming up on you or Wooyoung… Wait, what? Hold on, where did that thought come from?)

“You really don’t like this one, Woo?” you ask Wooyoung, tilting the screen to him, completely unaware of the newly sparked scenarios inside San’s head.

“I told you, it’s too small!”

San shakes off whatever the hell is going on with his imagination, and focuses on his curiosity about this apartment. It must be real nice if you’re so set on the place, even if Wooyoung disagrees.

“This is too small?? Damn Woo, never knew you’re that much of a size queen.”

San frowns. Size queen? Again; what?

“Hey, who can blame me? I’ve gotten used to a certain… stretch,” Wooyoung says, a bold grin spreading over his face.

A stretch??? …Okay, maybe San needs to re-examine his assumptions about what you and Wooyoung are looking at.

“God you’re nasty,” you sigh in exasperation, but there’s a laugh hidden in there too. “Fine, fine, let’s see what else they got.”

San has finally reached you, standing behind the couch to look over your shoulder at the screen. His eyes widen as the veil of confusion lifts away, a surprised flush hitting his cheeks.

No, those are not apartment listings on your screen.

Those are sex toys.

Specifically, you and Wooyoung are looking at strap-ons.

“How about this kit?” Wooyoung asks, gesturing at the next one you scrolled to. “That looks promising.”

At first, your face lights up with interest, but it is quickly replaced by a grimace when you notice the cost. “Looks good but… might be a tiny bit out of my price range.”

“Our price range,” Wooyoung counters firmly. “Think of it as an investment for the future! What do you think, Sannie?”

“Um,” is the most eloquence response San can muster at this moment.

“Look look, it even comes with a few different dildos, see! And the harness is backless too,” Wooyoung says, eyebrows wiggling as he zooms in on one of the images.

The picture shows the back-view of a model wearing the harness, held into place by a supple-looking leather waistband and two elegant black straps wrapped around the upper thighs, snugly fitted just below the model’s completely exposed ass.

“…How’s the size? Is it adjustable?” you ask, not entirely convinced yet but slowly swayed by Wooyoung’s sales pitch.

San feels a heat crawl up to his face, and tugs at the neckline of his shirt as unbidden images float up in his mind of your ass in that harness. No, San definitely needs no further swaying. Fuck, his imagination sure is working overtime today. He’ll pay the whole damn thing out of his own pocket if the money is really a concern to you.

You nose through the product specifications, your face brightening at what you find. After that, it’s not long before the kit finds itself dropped into your shopping cart.

“Three days?” Wooyoung groans when he sees the shipping date, falling back into the couch miserably. “How am I supposed to wait that long?”

“Aw, you poor thing,” you coo teasingly, patting Wooyoung’s hair. “What a trial. What a tribulation.”

San grins when Wooyoung scoffs and grabs for your hand to get a bite in on your forearm. You yelp, unsuccessfully trying to fend him off. San lets the chaos entertain him for a moment, then he gently untangles you both. “Woo, I’m sure we can find a way to make the time go by faster,” he chuckles. “Like… how about you take a few days to think about what you’d like to happen once it’s here?”

Like magic, Wooyoung’s face instantly shifts to a thoughtful expression. “Well,” he says, tapping his bottom lip, “I do have a few ideas…”

Never one to be timid about his ideas, you naturally know the deepest, most intimate and depraved depths of Wooyoung’s fantasies by the time you have him on your knees in front of you.

You don’t need to see the hunger in his eyes as he stares up at you to know badly he wants this; don’t need to hear the breathless inhale when your fingers tangle into his hair, how his tongue eagerly darts out to wet his lips when you tug him forward — pushing the tip of your strap right against those plump lips.

Because you already know that is exactly what Wooyoung wants. To take your cock down his throat and choke on it.

The weight of the black, silicone dildo hanging between your legs is unfamiliar, a little awkward even, but the harness is more comfortable than you expected.

You’d stayed a bit concerned about the fit until the discreetly packaged arrived, but after fiddling with some adjustments you could breathe easily. The leather now sits perfectly around your waist, and the black straps don’t dig painfully into your thighs like you’d feared, instead framing your ass in a way that must be extremely flattering to say the least — if the way San’s eyes keep trailing back to them is anything to go by.

However, for now San’s gaze is fixed on Wooyoung.

San sits on the edge of the bed, legs spread lazily and leaned back with his hands resting on the mattress, making no effort to touch Wooyoung even though he is within arm’s reach. Head slightly tilted, he watches intently how Wooyoung’s lips part as the silicone cock is pushed past them.

Wooyoung wastes no time, sinking down with a muffled groan. Messily he sucks and laps at the strap, low moans and wet noises drifting upward. You let out a blissful sigh at the view, his pretty lips stretched around your cock. He blinks up at you as he somehow manages to grin even with his mouth stuffed, his dark eyes shiny with impatience and need.

“Little more, Woo. I know you can give me more,” you hum, running your hand through his hair. “Show me how hungry you are for my cock before I fuck you with it.”

“Mmh—”

Wooyoung eagerly follows your lead when you guide his head up and down, taking you deeper and deeper with minimal encouragement. He never holds back, treating your strap like it’s a real cock; and through his pure unbridled enthusiasm, you sink away into the illusion.

Your breaths grow heavier whenever Wooyoung pulls back to suckle indulgently at the tip, thick wet swipes of his tongue as he groans, his eyes fluttering shut every time you pull his hair to force your length down his throat again. Every pass of his mouth rubs the silicone dick’s rounded base against your cunt, and its strategically placed protrusion sends sparks through your core.

You start to roll your hips into him, chasing those sparks as Wooyoung’s head bobs to meet your shallow thrusts. It’s not long before he gags around you with an obscene gurgle, a thin trail of drool escaping past the corner of his lips. Instinctively you freeze, but Wooyoung shakes his head and whines. His cheeks are flushed, a watery gleam brimming in his eyes as he stares up at you, wordlessly begging you to keep fucking his throat.

“Aw, he’s tearing up already,” San chuckles, leaning forward so he can grasp Wooyoung’s chin. “Looks so pretty with cock between his lips, doesn’t he? That smart mouth stuffed full, working so hard to please you.”

Wooyoung lets out another whine at San’s praise, only more worked up by the edge of condescension in his voice.

“Sweet babygirl,” you grin fondly. “Come, make Sannie feel good too. Can you do that for me?”

Wooyoung makes a noise, immediately reaching for San, who guides Wooyoung’s hand to wrap around his cock. He groans lowly, his back arching ever so slightly at Wooyoung’s practised strokes.

“Good boy,” San sighs, a lazy smile on his lips. “Now, get back to sucking that cock properly, hm? Wanna see you choke on it.”

Wooyoung moans loudly, more drool spilling down his chin. He keens when you pull his hair a little harder; it’s all the reminder he needs to go back to gagging around your cock, meeting the roll of your hips as you fuck his face. He breaths harshly through his nose, struggling to control his breathing but never slowing down, taking your strap down his throat like a champ without ever neglecting San.

San’s chest is starting to heave as Wooyoung jerks him off, lips parted and eyes heavy-lidded. His low whine sears through you, as does the sight of his large hand leading Wooyoung’s to pump his leaking cock. Wooyoung revels in how he’s being used, teary eyes drifting shut as he fades away into a cockdrunk haze.

“San?” you say in a strained voice, more affected by the strap’s base gentle rubbing against your clit than you expected. (Or maybe the growing pressure in your core has more to do with Wooyoung, with seeing him like this.) “I think it’s time.”

Wooyoung’s eyes peek open at the sound of your voice, shimmering wetly with unshed tears. (…Yep, that definitely helps.)

“Yeah, it’s time,” San agrees, his voice equally strained.

He guides Wooyoung’s hand down to the base of his cock, to give it a squeeze just to take the edge off. Then he moves to kneel behind Wooyoung, who almost sobs in anticipation when San grabs two handfuls of his plump ass, spreading the cheeks apart.

Wooyoung whimpers around your cock, his hands grasping at your thighs for something to anchor him while San removes a modestly-sized plug that was warming Wooyoung up for this moment. You pat his hair reassuringly, cooing soft praises at Wooyoung, who groans as San’s lubed up fingers breach his rim to loosen him up a little further. San presses a soft, lingering kiss on Wooyoung’s shoulder and moves his fingers just as gently, gradually picking up speed.

You know San is not avoiding Wooyoung’s prostate when he jerks violently, the strap slipping out of his mouth, no longer muffling his loud whines. “F-fuck, right there, r-right there, Sannie…” he moans weakly, rocking back into San’s fingers.

Clumsily, Wooyoung grabs at the strap to try and stuff it back into his mouth. The tip catches against his cheek first, smearing a thick streak of saliva across his face. You sigh contently when Wooyoung keeps his hand around the silicone cock, rubbing the pleasing protrusion at the base firmly against your cunt as he wraps his swollen lips around its length.

“Still kinda tight… Relax, babe,” San grunts, curling his fingers in a way that has Wooyoung let out a throttled mewl. He runs his free hand soothingly over Wooyoung’s back. “Ahh, no wonder you’re tense,” he purrs. “Gonna be your first time getting fucked by two cocks like this, isn’t it? You’re such a greedy, perfect cockslut that it’s easy to forget you never took more than one at once. Just doesn’t seem right… those pretty holes were made to be used and ruined by some good dick.”

Tears escape Wooyoung’s lashes as he gurgles around your strap, his motions getting shakier with every filthy word from San, trembling harder with every thrust of San’s fingers. His own cock looks achingly hard, flushed a deep red and twitching, precum beading at the tip.

“Careful, Woo,” you gently chide him. “You’re not allowed to cum until I’m fucking you properly.”

Wooyoung whimpers, trimmed nails digging into your thigh as he desperately holds back from reaching down to bring himself relief.

A dangerous grin flashes across San’s lips as he also realises just how close Wooyoung is. “Oh? The cockslut can’t even wait until he’s stuffed full the way he should be? Are you gonna fall apart on just my fingers?”

“Mhh hm—”

Wooyoung can’t get his muffled noises of denial past his obstructed throat. He tries his best to obey your instruction, but San does nothing to make it easier on him.

Instead San’s wrist snaps harshly, the squelch of lube obscenely loud. His eyes are sharp and filled with dark intent, watching how Wooyoung shudders and whines, pushed closer and closer to his limit—

You can see the exact moment Wooyoung realises his efforts to hold back are futile, his eyes going wide a split second before he convulses, inadvertently pushing the strap down the back of his throat again. San’s free hand is on Wooyoung’s cock in a heartbeat, making sure he spills messy splatters of cum on San’s fingers and his own chest.

Wooyoung pants for air, spluttering and coughing when you pull the strap from his mouth. “S-sorry, I didn’t— didn’t mean to—” He babbles a rushed apology, staring up at you with wet eyes, his face red and puffy.

“Shh, it’s alright,” you hush him, going down on your knees so you can cradle his face, brushing your thumbs over tear-streaked cheeks. “Tried so hard, didn’t you?”

“Hm-hm,” he whines in agreement.

“Our pretty babygirl just gets overwhelmed so fast, doesn’t he?” you hum, pressing small pecks on his cock-swollen lips. “So sensitive that a few fingers is all it takes.”

Wooyoung sniffs, nodding weakly. “Y-yeah.”

“Look at that, made a mess all over yourself,” you tease, catching some of the white essence dribbling down Wooyoung’s chest. “Not your fault it’s so easy to wreck you. That’s just who you are, isn’t it? A needy, desperate thing.”

He whines an unintelligible noise. For anyone else, your words might have been humiliating; but for Wooyoung, they set something inside him free. Not his fault; just his nature.

San slowly kisses up Wooyoung’s neck, rubbing his shaky arms. It’d almost be sweet, if not for the satisfied curve of San’s lips. He’s gotten Wooyoung exactly where he wants him. “It’s okay, Woo,” he says, playfully nipping at his earlobe. “You can make it up later.”

Wooyoung’s attempt at answering is smothered by San’s mouth with a sudden, hard kiss. Your breath catches at his intensity, fervid and hungry. Just the sight of San and Wooyoung entangled alone is always enough to make your toes curl; from their shared, sensual passion, to the simple beauty of their contrasted features, the striking delicacy of Wooyoung melting into San’s masculine solidness.

You could watch them forever like this, but San does not allow you to be their spectator for long. Without even breaking the kiss, he reaches out to tug at your arm, pulling you into them. You go willingly.

Wooyoung welcomes you with a soft whine as you nip and suck at his neck, the split-glistened strap pressing against his half-hard cock. He proves himself every bit the desperate, needy thing that you called him, turning his head to switch between kissing you and San, groaning against your lips as he’s engulfed with heated attention from two ends. Breathlessly he gasps between kisses, trembling while you and San slowly leave a tapestry of hickeys and bitemarks over his neck and shoulders.

It’s when he starts to rock his hips, grinding back against San, that you reach for his dick. It’s still partially soft, still sensitive from cumming earlier. Wooyoung jerks into your grasp, his loud, keening whine stifled by San’s tongue down his throat. Fresh tears spill down Wooyoung’s cheeks as he shakes his head, his hand weakly clinging onto your arm — but his body tells a different story entirely, his spine arching as he contorts with overwhelming pleasure.

You are captivated, your tongue dragging over his wet cheek as you chase an instinct to lick up his tears. “Yeah, you can take it,” you murmur by his ear, making sure to keep a steady pace with your hand. “Want you hard and leaking when I finally fuck you. You owe us that much, don’t you think? Or is our babygirl going to disappoint me again?”

Wooyoung whimpers, head falling back against San’s shoulders. “C-can take it,” he slurs, now openly rocking his hips to fuck up into your hand.

San’s eyes blaze as he watches you exert your control over Wooyoung. Once your hand has settled into a rhythm, San firmly pulls you close again, capturing you in a hard kiss this time. Heatedly he explores the familiar crevices of your mouth while Wooyoung squirms and mewls between you, jaw slackening and eyes rolling back.

Your cunt aches at Wooyoung’s noisy writhing, and you press a gentle hand against San’s shoulder to push him back.

He begrudgingly parts from your lips, breathing hard. Focus slowly returns to his eyes as he grins down at Wooyoung’s wrecked state. “He’s ready?”

“I think so,” you hum, gently cradling Wooyoung’s cheeks. “What do you say, Wooyoungie, ready to take my cock?”

Wooyoung nuzzles at your palm, the rise and fall of his chest slowly steadying. “Ready,” he sighs with a languid smile, tinged with anticipatory excitement. “Want it… want your cock so bad, want you to fuck me…”

You giggle, bumping your forehead against his. “Good boy,” you praise, and leave a light peck on his nose. “Then that’s exactly what I’ll do.”

Almost effortlessly, San lifts a squirmy Wooyoung on his feet, then onto the bed, manoeuvring him onto all fours.

Wooyoung moans when you run a hand over the sweet curve of his ass, peeking over his shoulder to look at you. You knead at his cheeks, staring intently at how lube has has trickled out his stretched hole, down to his thighs. It’s all too tempting to dive in and lap it up, to tease him with your tongue and sink your teeth into that pretty ass, but you doubt Wooyoung has much patience left in him — and neither do you, for that matter.

“San?” you ask, nudging at the container of lube to reapply a fresh layer. San grabs the bottle; but instead of handing it over to you, he just grins and slides up behind you.

Generously he slicks up his own hand, and your breath hitches as San reaches around to lube up the strap for you. There is something unexpectedly sensual about his big hand gliding over the length of your silicone cock, firm strokes that have you instinctively rocking into his touch, like you can feel him.

Wooyoung lets out an impatient whine. “Please…” he begs, wiggling his ass at you, and you decide he’s been forced to wait long enough.

You softly tap San’s arm, at which he retreats to rest his sticky hand on your waist instead. He hums when you press a soft kiss of gratitude on his lips, and then you turn your full attention back to Wooyoung.

He shudders when the silicone cockhead presses at his entrance, then slowly sinks in.

It’s not the biggest dildo that came with the kit, not quite matching San in thickness, but you preferred to start out with a size that you know Wooyoung can handle. Still, it’s girth is satisfying enough with a nice upward curve, and a subtly ribbed shaft that’s already doing a number on Wooyoung, if the way his fingers dig into the sheets is any indication.

“Oh fuck,” he grits out, eyes clenched shut.

You take your time to bottom out, making sure you can do so comfortably, and Wooyoung comes apart further with every slow inch. His arms buckle, falling onto his elbows when your thighs press against his ass, fully buried inside his tight hole. He pants hard, fingers digging into the sheets.

“Please please please,” he babbles, “oh fuck please move, please fuck me already, fuck—”

“Hm, I think he likes taking your cock,” San observes dryly, a mocking lilt in his voice. He reaches around you to give Wooyoung’s ass a light smack, grinning when Wooyoung whines harder in response. “Yeah, he likes it.”

You don’t react with more than a sound of acknowledgement; too focused on the roll of your hips, too taken in by Wooyoung’s choked noises as you finally take mercy, the ribbed strap gliding in and out at a steady pace.

In a way, the rhythmic motion of thrusting into Wooyoung is intimately familiar, yet also entirely new. You’ve fucked Wooyoung with a toy before, sure, but the simple snap of your hand doesn’t compare to the physicality of using almost your entire body to bury your cock into him. Your arms tense as you hold onto his hips to keep him steady, your thighs and core muscles flex to buck against his ass over and over again.

(Already you can tell that you need to conserve your energy, not wanting to wear yourself out before Wooyoung is a sobbing ruin, utterly wrecked and completely sated.)

Wooyoung gasps and whines with every thrust, his fists tightening into the sheets — but despite his obvious pleasure, a tendril of frustration flicks at you; you’ve seen Wooyoung in the throes of depraved passion often enough to know you’re not hitting the spot that will obliterate him, not in the way San can. You try to adjust, searching for his prostate, but it’s trickier when you can’t actually feel inside him, and your efforts only seem to make your thrusts more awkward.

San puts his hand on your waist when he realises you are getting in your own way, squeezing reassuringly. His breath falls on your ear as he guides your motions, easing your hips into a smooth roll that soon has Wooyoung let out a pitched cry, his entire body jolting.

“That’s it,” San rasps in satisfaction, letting you move on your own again, “that’s how you fuck that tight hole. Look at you making such a pretty mess of Wooyoungie, all cockdrunk on you.”

Wooyoung keens at the praise, whimpering every time you hit that sweet spot.

You can’t help a moan of your own, a hot wire thrumming through your core — that only grows sharper when San’s hands wander down to your ass. At first he just lightly squeezes, but soon he takes full advantage of the harness’ open back, spreading your cheeks apart to expose you to the cool air. His thumbs inch inward; one is still covered with a remnant of lube, slowly circling your sensitive rim.

Your breath hitches at the unexpected touch, making you buck harder into Wooyoung. His voice breaks with every snap of your hips, “Hngh, ah ah—” hiccuped moans spilling past his lips.

San grins, his thumb resting against your entrance, never quite pressing inside. “Fucking him so well, baby,” he groans, lazily sucking a wet patch into your neck. “Tell her, Wooyoung. Tell her how well she’s fucking you.”

“S-so well,” Wooyoung sobs, clawing at the sheets. “Fucking me so well…”

His garbled cries burn through you, the heat inside your core stoked by his writhing, desperate state. So pliant, so willing to surrender himself to you.

However, your thighs burn for another reason entirely; muscles straining with the effort of fucking Wooyoung into this mindless stupor. You slow the roll of your hips, giving yourself a breather while enjoying Wooyoung’s pitiful whines of protest maybe a little too much.

“But this is not enough for you, is it?” you hum, rubbing your hand over the small of Wooyoung’s sweat-slicked back. “You want Sannie’s cock too, to have that clever mouth used again like it should be.”

San lets out a raspy chuckle as Wooyoung nods frantically. “I don’t know, baby, our Wooyoungie looks like he might be at his limit. You sure he can take us both?”

Wooyoung squirms in frustration. “I can, Sannie, you know I can,” he snivels. “Please, want it, want it, San-ah—!”

He jolts when San smacks his ass again, whining loudly as he burrows his face into the bed.

With that, San moves away from you, his fingers digging into the curve of your rear as he goes. Wooyoung moans weakly when San sits on his knees in front of him, clasping Wooyoung’s chin between thumb and index finger to lift his head.

“Then prove it,” San says coolly, raising an unimpressed eyebrow. “Show us what a good cockslut you are.”

Wooyoung shivers at the dismissive tone of San’s challenge, like he isn’t expecting all that much. He shakily pushes himself up on his hands, biting down a groan at how your strap rubs up against his insides. One last glance over his shoulder, while he still can, drinking in the sight of you with hungry, tear-filled eyes.

And a glorious sight you are, shiny drops of sweat beading down the valley of your chest, heaving from exertion. Both of you completely enraptured by this new experience, the new sensations that come with it. The ribbed dildo feels amazing, better than Wooyoung dared hope — but far more than that, he is on the brink because it’s you, you fucking that toy into him.

You catch his gaze, biting your lip at the contact. “Remember, Woo,” you say, voice tight, “remember the signal if I’m too rough on you.”

Wooyoung lets out a hoarse chuckle, giving you the widest, dirtiest grin he can muster. Too rough? On him? Fuck, how are you blowing his back out and still manage to be this adorable? “Sure, will do,” he rasps, tapping San’s thigh in demonstration of the nonverbal sign.

San grasps onto Wooyoung’s chin again, yanking him back. He taps the head of his cock against Wooyoung’s cheek, leaving a trail of precum, exactly where your strap smeared saliva across his face earlier.

“C’mon, Woo,” San says, still giving him that unimpressed look, the one that makes Wooyoung squirm without fail, “do you want this cock down your throat or not?”

Wooyoung’s breath instantly shallows, his jaw relaxing on instinct. He groans in bliss as San nudges the flushed tip past his swollen lips, sinking home. Your hips move in a slow roll and Wooyoung lets himself get swept away by the rhythm, taking San deeper inch by inch.

His mind goes blank, lost in the toe-curling slide of your strap, the hefty weight of San on his tongue — fuck, he loves sucking that fat cock. How the thickness of it strains his jaw, but within manageable levels after all the countless practise he’s enjoyed. He’s proud of that, how his gag reflex has faded to a mere afterthought, only brought back to the forefront when he’s caught off guard (and even then, it’s good). Proud of the cracks in San’s unaffected facade that Wooyoung breaks through with nothing but the tightness of his throat and his skilful tongue.

Right now though, you’re making it harder for Wooyoung to use that tongue to its full potential. Every rough thrust jostles him, pushes San’s dick deeper without any room for skill, reducing Wooyoung to nothing but a cocksleeve to be used. (San does not seem to mind, his groans low and breathy.)

He whimpers as you slam into him without mercy, his aching cock slapping against his stomach with a lewd smacking sound, drawing sharp jolts of pleasure. You’ve well and truly honed in on his sweet spot now, pressure building up and up and up until Wooyoung feels like he’s clawing at the ceiling. San’s hand rests on Wooyoung’s throat, squeezing with only a gentle pressure to keep him steady as he’s split open from two ends; an overwhelming barrage of sensations that goes beyond feeling ‘full’. Wooyoung feels whole.

Desperately he moans around San’s cock with a muffled, pathetic sob, the world blurring out of focus. One brush of a hand against his throbbing dick and he’d be done for, he’s sure of it; but despite cumming untouched earlier, now that edge stays just out of reach. Trapping Wooyoung at the height of pleasure with nowhere to come down.

He’s whimpering, body trembling under the unending onslaught. Too much, some might cry out — but not Wooyoung, never Wooyoung.

No, for him it is perfect. He stopped believing in ‘too much’ long ago, after he heard enough of those two words in his life. That he talks too much, wants too much, gives too much, is too much.

But here, between these two hearts, he is exactly right.

Addled memories flood through his dizzied thoughts, physical pleasure blurring into intense emotion.

With San, Wooyoung knew it from the very start; an unshakeable certainty within moments of their first meeting. San has always embraced his chaotic energy, soaking it up like a sponge and giving back to Wooyoung in equal measure. Making it easy for Wooyoung to throw himself into their relationship with what some might call reckless abandon — but San never dropped him. He is never too much for San.

Wooyoung had been too much for you, once. Crashing head-first into your boundaries back when he kissed you; pushing too hard because he did not want to be pushed away. But it only brought you closer, seeking out the places where you can meet each other; where Wooyoung can be himself without compromise without compromising you. Where Wooyoung can taste the word ‘love’ in his mouth and see you light up with joy, the same joy that you and San give him in turn.

No, he’ll never be too much for you either. He knows that now.

Wooyoung lets out a hoarse, garbled cry at a hard hit of your cock against his prostate, breaking him out of his hazy thoughts and right back to the present, back in the middle of your and San’s heated attention and affection. Right where Wooyoung thrives.

Fuck, he’s light-headed. He feels like he’s floating, vaguely hears praise drift to him from both sides. Good boy. Taking it so well. That’s what those pretty holes are good for. He’s drowning in it, barely feeling his body anymore, only the pleasure buzzing through him.

He slowly realises San’s fingers are tangled through his hair, helping his head stay up.

Wooyoung moans indulgently, blinking up at him. He can only imagine what a mess San is looking at; Wooyoung can feel the wetness of spittle and tears trailing down his cheeks, his chin, even his throat. Fuck, he wishes you could see it too, what a fucking pathetic wreck he is for you both.

San makes a noise somewhere between a chuckle and a groan as he looks down on Wooyoung. “Cockdrunk,” he says, his grin sharp. “Completely wasted. Can you even handle my load or are you too fucked out to swallow?”

Immediately Wooyoung whines in protest. He can do it, he can do anything for you and San. Doesn’t want San to pull out, doesn’t want you to stop moving, not yet not now not ever. He swallows around San’s cockhead, messily lavishing his tongue against the twitching shaft.

You giggle breathily at Wooyoung’s enthusiasm, squeezing at his hip. “Now San, don’t underestimate our Wooyoungie,” you playfully admonish him. “This is what he’s made for. He can take it.”

Yes yes yes. Agreement sings through Wooyoung as he humps back against you in gratitude. You get it. You understand.

San grunts at the stifled moans around his cock, Wooyoung’s increased efforts causing him to hiss sharply through gritted teeth. He can’t last much longer, his fingers tightening in Wooyoung’s hair, breath going pitchy as his hips jerk.

Wooyoung groans when San’s cock twitches in his mouth, hot sticky ropes of cum hitting his tongue. Maybe he is a little too fucked out after all, some seed trickling down his chin as he struggles to gulp down every drop with lewd, wet noises.

San pants harshly as he slips out, pumping himself with quick strokes to wrest as much as he can for Wooyoung to take. Finally he wipes the tip on Wooyoung's glossy lips, then nudges him to turn his head and give you a proper view. Your sharp moan lances through Wooyoung's painfully hard cock — but distress takes over when you slow down.

So close, he was so close oh god you can’t stop now. Wooyoung sobs pitifully, wiggling his hips as he babbles his wretched pleas.

Your cunt throbs at his desperation, his face flushed red and shiny with bodily fluids. Equal parts guilt and arousal sear through you at the unintentional denial, but fuck your thighs are burning. (Today has given you a whole new appreciation for San's muscle strength.)

“Shh, it’s okay, just want you to ride me,” you hum, stroking his quivering thigh. “Wanna see that beautiful face when you cum, can you do that for me, Wooyoungie?”

He lets out another choked up sob but nods frantically, whimpering when you pull out to lay down. Shakily he moves to sit in your lap, helped by San’s steady hold. Wooyoung whines in relief when you fill him up again, after a fresh coating of lube. He groans at the new angle, throwing his head back.

You rub your hands up and down his thighs, letting your eyes wander over him; his sweat-slicked torso, the veins pulsing in his shaky arms, cock leaking against his stomach. You lightly wrap your fingers around it, causing Wooyoung to stutter out a surprised “Ah—!”

“Go ahead, Woo. Show me,” you tell him breathily, bucking your hips up. “Show me how badly you want to cum on my cock.”

Wooyoung does not need to be told twice. He leans back to brace his hands on your legs, arching his back. The roll of his hips starts slow, easing himself into it, but soon you can see his lithe muscles rippling as he bounces in your lap. There is no restraint in him, his face contorted with pleasure as he whines, gasping every time you buck your hips to meet his. He looks utterly deprived. He is perfect.

San curls up next to you on his side, sluggish in the wake of his own orgasm. He pecks at your shoulder, tracing lazy circles on your stomach, close to where Wooyoung fucks into your hand as he moves. “You haven’t cum yet, have you?” San murmurs, his hot breath fanning across your skin.

“N-not yet,” you admit, “but—”

But fuck, you are getting close.

It’s been a long, slow build-up with the base of the strap rubbing against your cunt; not always catching your clit just right, but you have a bit more control now that you’re laying down, to wiggle or guide Wooyoung’s hips. More than that, you are so deeply mesmerised by Wooyoung that his pleasure might as well be your own. Fucking himself seemingly tireless even though he’s gasping for breath, surely reaching his limit. His whiny sobs sear through you, your own breath catching in your throat as you slowly, inevitably, begin to tilt over.

San lets out a low, rumbling chuckle, and slings an arm over you to leisurely play with one of your tits. The light pecks on your shoulder turn to insistent, open-mouthed kisses as San sucks wet bruises into your skin. You bite down a whine as he thumbs at your nipple, your hips bucking up harder into Wooyoung. You move your hand quicker, stubborn to drag Wooyoung right down with you.

“God, look at you,” you groan, straining to get the words out, “look so pretty, crying on my cock.”

Wooyoung makes a strangled noise. “’Cause— ‘cause it feels so good,” he chokes out. “Y-you—” but whatever else he wants to say is drowned out by breathless, high-pitched moans.

You use your last shreds of energy to piston the strap harder into Wooyoung, jostling him in your lap. His body bows forward, hands scrambling to grab onto your shoulders, almost knocking San in the face. San nips at Wooyoung’s wrist, but easily readjusts by latching his mouth onto your breast instead.

You tense up, hips stuttering as you curse under your breath — and then San’s teeth sink into the soft, sensitive flesh, biting down. The pain jolts through you like a catalyst, your peak rushing at you; you try to stave it off, try to get Wooyoung there first, but that only makes it chase you faster. The force of it rips through your nerve endings, your nails digging into Wooyoung’s waist as you finally topple over with a ragged cry. Your toes curl almost painfully, body trembling as white-hot sparks fray your senses.

Your eyes try to squeeze shut but you force them open, gasping breathless moans as you stare up at Wooyoung; intent on seeing him succumb before you can fully come down from your own high.

His abdominal muscles flex with tension, his thighs clenching as he threatens to lose his rhythm. You shakily pick up the pace with your hand, sliding over the slick length of his cock. Wooyoung keens and weakly ruts against your strap, keeping constant pressure on your still-twitching cunt. San’s fingers wrap around yours, helping you to keep moving while you squirm from the relentless waves rippling through you.

Wooyoung lets out a throttled whine, doubling over as he unravels, spilling a hot and sticky mess all over your fingers and stomach. Your grip on him weakens, but San forces you to keep moving, milking Wooyoung for everything he’s got until he’s shaking uncontrollably on top of you, sobbing out pathetic whimpers.

When San finally takes mercy and lets go, Wooyoung crumples on top of you with a tired moan. The dildo slips out as he burrows himself in your arms, uncaring for the watery strings of cum smeared between your bodies.

“Oh fuck… that was… ‘s was fucking amazing…” he mumbles, nuzzling against your chest.

You giggle tiredly, running a hand through his sweaty hair. “Yes? Did we make a good investment into our future with this one?”

“Mhn…” Wooyoung makes a vague noise of affirmation. He seems about ready to pass out, but there’s still a dazed smile on his face when San tips up his chin. “Good, yeah…”

San’s lips curl into a fond smile, chuckling when Wooyoung grouses at being manoeuvred just enough so San can take the harness off of you. He sets the glistening dildo aside for later cleaning, then gives your worn-out cunt an affectionate pat. You whine even at the light touch, but sigh contently when his warm hands massage your sore thighs. Fuck, you’re going to have one hell of a muscle-ache tomorrow.

San grins at your pained expression. “Wanted to see Wooyoung ride you, hm?” he teases. “No other reason for changing that up, I’m sure.”

“What are you insinuating, Choi San?” you grumble, half-heartedly rolling your eyes.

He laughs, continuing to work your aching muscles. “Nothing, nothing! Just… are you sure you don’t want to join me at the gym sometime?”

You make a face at him, at the same time that Wooyoung pipes up, “Nu-uh. If you need an extra workout, you can just fuck me some more.”

“…That does sound like a lot more fun than a gym membership,” you accede. “Sorry, San.”

San chuckles, shaking his head. “Can’t argue with that. C’mon, let’s get that mess cleaned up,” he says, nudging Wooyoung to roll off of from you with a groan.

You take the wet-wipes that San offer you, and clean the dried crusts of cum on Wooyoung’s stomach. His eyes are half-lidded and he hums weakly when you stroke his cheek; you suspect he’ll doze off for real soon.

“Hm, would be nice if we could find a place that has a bathtube,” you sigh wistfully as you start to clean yourself, yearning for the comfort of a warm soak right now. “Though I guess it’d be hard to find one that fits all three of us.”

“I like that,” San smiles while he tugs a blanket over Wooyoung to make sure he doesn’t get cold. “We’ll make it work somehow. We always do.”

“Stacked on top of each other?” you suggest playfully.

San pouts. “I’d feel bad for whoever is at the bottom,” he says, utterly earnest — and you’d tease him for it, if your heart didn’t burst with affection at his simple, straightforward consideration.

Wooyoung, however, has no such hangups. “Then it has to be you, I guess,” he mumbles with a tired grin.

San’s pout intensifies into a sulk, but his face instantly softens when Wooyoung tugs at his and your wrists, wanting you closer. Soon Wooyoung is snuggled up in the middle, embraced from both sides. He groans happily at the gentle kisses San presses against his neck, the featherlight brush of your fingertips over his cheek, your arm slung lazily around him.

You catch San’s eyes while Wooyoung dozes off, warmth glowing in your chest at his dimpled smile. He reaches over Wooyoung to rest his hand on your waist, always in need of those little physical threads of connection. You shift your leg to weave another thread, hooking your ankle around his shin. The three of you fitting together perfectly.

“Come on, go talk to him then,” Wooyoung sighs at you in exasperation, one hand on his hip, the other holding a spatula as he waves you off. “You’ve been nosy about him for ages, now you got your chance and you’re in here distracting me instead? No ma’am, get your fine ass out there.”

“But—”

Wooyoung gives you no time for excuses, grabbing your shoulders from behind and forcibly ushering you out of the kitchen, to the living area. To San, and to the guy San’s talking to.

The ever-illusive, long awaited friend, finally back in town.

Jeong Yunho.

Honestly, you don’t even know why you’re nervous about this. It’s not like Yunho is the first close friend of San and Wooyoung that you’ve met; you’ve even talked to him before! Just over voice chat, saying ‘hi’ when San or Wooyoung are gaming with him, but still!

Wooyoung’s photographs have even prepared you for his ridiculously handsome face (seriously, why are all of their friends like this?!), but you’re still caught off guard by his physical presence. It’s not just his height, though that’s definitely a factor. Just something about the way he stands in the room, his posture relaxed with an easy confidence. Really, Yunho shouldn’t be intimidating; he oozes kindness and reliability, the type of guy who personally makes sure you get home safe after having one drink too many at the bar.

Maybe it’s the glances he’s been casting your way. Something in his thoughtful expression makes you feel like he’s carefully taking your measure. Seizing up if you’re right for his friends.

…Or maybe it’s not that deep, and you simply are anxious about making a good impression. After all, this is the guy who helped San to work through his insecurities, and even introduced him to Wooyoung. Without him, you’d never have ended up in this cosy arrangement with them.

While you cautiously go up to him and San, Wooyoung calls out from the kitchenette.

“Oi, Sannie, can you help me out with something!”

Oh, that bastard.

You look over your shoulder to fire a glare at Wooyoung, but he just grins back at you. You roll your eyes, sigh out those nerves, and go over to Yunho. San gives you a wink as he walks past, and also gives your ass a light smack. Yeah. Figures.

Yunho’s big brown eyes shine with curiosity as you approach him.

“So. You’re San and Wooyoung’s… friend, right?” he says, with the slightly hesitant tone of someone who knows he’s dealing with a square hole but only has round pegs to try and fit in there. “Nice to finally meet you in person.”

“Yeah, same,” you smile back at him, internally cursing Wooyoung into the special circle of hell reserved for backstabbing traitors. “And ‘friend’ is not inaccurate, no,” you allow, trying for a shy grin. “We’re still workshopping it out! The latest idea was that I call the guys my ‘umbrellas’, but… yeah. Maybe a little more time in the workshop for that one.”

“Umbrellas?” Yunho blinks in confusion, but it only takes a split second before understanding breaks out on his face. “Ahh, got it — ‘Woosan’.” He giggles, hiding his mouth behind his hand. You can’t lie; it’s pretty dang cute. “San came up with that one, didn’t he?”

“He did!” you giggle with Yunho, the shared laugh helping you to relax. “Was real proud of it too!”

With the discovery of a common ground between you (a penchant for lovingly poking fun at San and Wooyoung), you loosen up and fall into light conversation. His laugh is easy and his jokes are playful, and it’s soon obvious to you why the guys are so attached to him.

Apparently Yunho is coming to a similar conclusion about you, eyeing you with a thoughtful expression.

“You know, to be honest I was surprised to hear San and Wooyoung wanted to try something with a third. Really surprised,” he chuckles awkwardly, scratching his cheek. “San was pretty clear he wanted a closed relationship. But… yeah. I can see it. Makes sense.”

He nods, and something has softened in his eyes while he talked. Suddenly you have the distinct impression that you weren’t wrong for feeling like Yunho was taking your measure.

A small smile curves around your lips at Yunho’s simple observation, your eyes glancing to the kitchenette where San is ‘helping’ Wooyoung by stealing food and getting in his way. “I mean, none of us really planned for me to stick around like this,” you point out, feeling oddly timid. “We didn’t plan for any of this to shake out this way. It just… did.”

Yunho hums in acknowledgement. “Yeah, that’s just how things go sometimes, isn’t it,” he says, his smile crooked. “Well, whatever you end up calling this, they seem real happy with how it’s going. If they’re your umbrellas, what’d that make you? Their parka?” he teases.

“Oh hell no!” you splutter. “Veto, veto! Don’t you dare put that idea into their heads, I’d rather make do without any labels at all, thankyouverymuch!”

“Alright, I won’t!” Yunho giggles again at your indigence, round cheeks lifted by his laugh. “Label or no label, whichever way works for you, right? And clearly this works.”

You glance at San and Wooyoung again, bubbles of warmth popping in your chest at the sight of them. San has abandoned all pretence at being helpful, his chest pressed against Wooyoung’s back and arms wrapped around his waist, trying to smooch him while Wooyoung is completely focused on the food.

San is the one who sees you watching them first, his cheeks dimpling at you in a soft smile. Wooyoung quickly notices San’s attention wandering, but his vaguely offended expression fades when he catches your eye, replaced by a cheeky grin. (Ugh fine, yes his stupid little plan worked.)

“Yeah, it works,” you say quietly to Yunho, feeling San and Wooyoung’s affection wrap around you even all the way from the other side of the room. It really does.

[eternalbuckley]

Making Progress. — aemond targaryen

SUMMARY: Making progress with someone you used to be close with when you were younger could be hard but you put in the effort, so Aemond could trust you again. Giving him the time he needed and when you don't expect it at all, you might end up with the most vulnerable moment you've shared with him. OR When braiding his hair turns into him showing you his most vulnerable side and has some confessions.

word count: 3,819

genre: comfort | wife!reader, queer!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly

warnings/tropes: it's just very very soft, one mention of health problems (readers father), arranged marriage, reader is the oldest daughter of her parents and has implied younger siblings, no use of y/n, set before the death of viserys, english is not my first language, slightly proofread — if I forgot something, please let me know!

a/n: i just need my babygirl to be happy and get the love he deeply deserves and always wanted :( it's my first time writing for him and this fandom in general, i hope you enjoy it <3 reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated and highly welcomed!

disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know!

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Ever since you’ve been friends with Aemond in your childhood, you were fascinated with his hair and always played with it whenever you were able to. You spent most of your time with him when your family was visiting the King and Queen’s family since they were close friends to the family. You’ve always been the closest person Aemond had and were there for him. You were his best friend and always listened to his rants whenever his brother or nephews made fun of him, especially when the situation with the pig happened. You hated Aegon for how he treated Aemond sometimes, despite being his older brother. You didn’t have older siblings but you could never imagine treating your younger siblings the way Aegon treated Aemond sometimes.

The next time you saw him was at the funeral of Lady Laena Velaryon. Your parents were close friends and allies with her parents, Princess Rhaenys and Lord Corlys. You and your family wanted to pay your respect to their loss. Later, when you found out what happened the following night with Aemond, you were shocked. You were shocked when you found out how he lost his left eye and were angry with the whole situation but you couldn’t change anything about it. But Aemond felt somewhat happy because he finally claimed his own dragon, even if he lost his eye for it.

You tried to be there for him as much as you were able to but over the years, your father got sick and you weren’t able to see him so often anymore. Because your father wasn’t always to travel to the Red Keep and Viserys was slowly losing his strength every day as well. You thought you could bond over this with Aemond but you quickly realized it wouldn’t happen. You tried to keep in touch with him, by sending letters to him but over the time he didn’t respond to them as much as he used to. Which resulted into that you drifted apart from each other, you still cared for him but you noticed that he started to shut you out of his life. He wouldn’t let you into his thoughts anymore but the few times you were able to see him, you noticed that his demeanour had changed, especially the older you got. He acted colder and more firmly, you barely saw him laugh anymore unless he tortured his nephews. It was hurting to see how much he had changed over the years and that you couldn’t be there for him as much as you’d want to. You missed your best friend.

You always thought you’d end up being betrothed to his brother since you are your parents’ oldest child and because they mentioned it a few times to you when you were a few years younger. But it surprised you when your parents agreed with Viserys and Alicent to betroth you and Aemond instead since Aegon had been married with Helaena already. Your parents and Aemond’s parents wanted to bond both families together, knowing that you two used to be close when you were younger and wanted to use that connection between you. But if you were honest, you weren’t sure how to feel about the betrothal back then. Both of you didn’t seemingly share the same interests anymore or really knew what the other one was thinking about. You were sure, that Aemond was still angry and fed up with the Velaryon brothers and that Lucerys was the one who cut out his eye and was the reason for losing his eye. You never agreed with the way how his brother and he mocked Jacaerys, Lucerys or Joffrey for being bastards from time to time, they weren’t responsible for their mothers’ actions. But you didn’t do anything against it either. You tried not to listen to what others were saying but it was undeniable. Everyone knew the truth about the Velaryon brothers, even if some tried to deny the truth.

On the other hand, Aemond was happy that he’d marry you, something he maybe dreamed about too many times in his life. You were the one person he had a soft spot for, even if the two of you weren’t that close anymore. Aemond had different reasons for pushing you away. Ever since the accident with his eye, he didn’t want to possibly get hurt or betrayed by you, which caused him to push you away and out of his life. He focused more on his training sessions with Ser Criston or spending his time reading. Spending less and less time with you whenever you visited the Red Keep. You tried to get into his interests but whenever you tried to watch his training sessions, your mother would make you join Helaena and spend time with her instead.

You didn’t mind spending time with her because you enjoyed it and were happy to call her sister as soon as you’d marry Aemond but you wanted to get to know him again. You missed him as your friend. All you wanted was to find out what he liked and if there was anything that didn’t change about him. But in the end, both of you were glad that you wouldn’t have to marry a stranger even if it meant trying to get to know each other again. Which seemed to be harder than you thought, especially during the first months of your marriage. You would spend barely time with each other, the only interactions between you were stolen glances. Whenever you would pass him as you walked through the castle, whenever you two saw each other in the gardens or were together with his siblings and parents during feasts or in general. It didn’t happen a lot but whenever you all were together you felt his gaze on you. The longing between you two was hard to ignore, yet the only people to notice this were Alicent and Helaena. Helaena knew how much you cared for her brother, many times you’d talk about him whenever you spent time with her. Alicent hoped that Aemond and you would find your way back to each other again and that your marriage would be filled with love and trust.

On your wedding day, Aemond and you kept your formalities and consummated your marriage that night but after that, neither of you tried to push the other one to sleep with each other or keep an intimate behaviour. It happened quickly and you didn’t ever really talk about it afterwards as it didn’t seem to be necessary to do it. Everything was still the same, gazes filled with longingness.

Over time you started to talk with each other more, most of the time it would be whenever you were in the garden at the same time. In the beginning, it would only be about the smallest things but he slowly warmed up to you. You always tried to never push him too much and swore to yourself to give him the time he needed. You started joining him in the library and sat together while the two of you read. He started talking about the things he read or studied in particular and you engaged with him about it. Or listened to him talking and appreciating the progress you had made so far. You slowly got closer again and started to eat your breakfast and dinner together and had more engaging conversations and laughed together from time to time. Aemond noticed the effort you put into him and your relationship. He appreciated you and how you gave him the time he needed to open up and trust you again. He always trusted you but his fear of being abandoned by you haunted his nights and thoughts many times.

You started to notice how he would have one hand on the lower back of you whenever you walked together, the more time you spent together. It was a gentle and small touch but meant everything for both of you. Because deep down you both knew you’ve always liked each other, you just needed to feel brave enough to act on it, despite being afraid of possibly hurting yourselves. You fell in love with each other all over again. You brought out a side of him, he thought he lost. Though, he’d only show it if you were alone and felt comfortable.

For him, you were the one who made it seem worth it to have a smile on his lips and feel happier again.

He’d be the one who had the courage to kiss you first. It was a moment of peace while you sat with him on a bench in the garden of the castle. You were talking about something you recently read and wouldn’t go out of your mind when he gently took your hand into his which caused you to look at him and stop midsentence. You felt his thumb stroking over your hand when he quietly asked you if he could kiss you. You felt how your face heated up and how your heartbeat quickened. His eye lit up when you nodded your head. His breath hitched for a moment and his own heart was fiercely beating against his chest as well. You both had leaned in and the moment your lips met; it was like the world didn’t exist but the two of you.  It felt like you were shaped for each other as they moved against each other. It was a short but very soft and gentle kiss but meant everything for both of you, especially Aemond. There was a slight smile on his lips when his eye looked into yours and you smiled back at him. You two continued your conversation and he continued to gently hold your hand while his thumb brushed over the back of your hand. This step was the reason why you two continued to grow closer and he slowly started to share more of his deeper thoughts with you again.

While you grew closer again, more things started to change slowly. Sleeping segregated in your own chambers turned into sharing one. Sleeping in your own beds turned into sharing one. Not having a lot of physical touch turned into holding each other’s hands while falling asleep. And holding each other’s hand would turn into laying in each other’s arms from time to time. Everything happened slowly but this gave you the opportunity to bond a strong connection with him again and it made everything even more worth it.

Ever since you started to share a chamber, you got into a regular nightly routine. You’d already lay in bed when he came back from whatever he was doing and joined you. Giving you a small, tender kiss on your forehead as he laid down next to you after he removed his clothing and held your hand as you slowly drifted to sleep while facing each other. He would watch and admire you before he’d fall asleep after you. Some nights the moon would shine through the window and let your beauty shine even more. He’d brush his thumb over your hand he was still holding, wishing he could fully open up to you again. Wishing he could show you his vulnerable side, one he thought was long gone. But with you, this side wanted to come out again. You were always so patient with him, something he was more than grateful for. Aemond knew he could lose his temper easily but with you, in his life, it was completely different. One smile of you and he would burn the world if it meant to see it even more.

Some nights you would hold him if he had nightmares and woke up from what he dreamed about. Aemond never told you what his dreams were about but many of them included you and your death. You would hold him tightly so he could calm down and relax in your arms. He would cling to you, internally pleading you’d never let go of him, which you never did. There weren’t many words spoken during these moments but both of you knew the impact they had.

You were his safe place and always had been.

Once his breathing got steadier again, he’d mostly thank you with a soft but still shaky whisper and would drift off to sleep again. While you stayed awake and held him in your arms, continuing to trace his arms gently. These vulnerable moments between you would be the closest you’d share your nights with.

The nights were still often filled with all these moments but in the most recent days, your nightly routine started to include more softer moments between you. Instead of waiting for him in your shared bed, you would wait for him while sitting on the settee in front of the fireplace, already changed into your nightgown. You would sit next to each other and enjoy the presence of the other one after he changed into his undergarments. Reading in peace and going to bed together after a while. Sometimes you’d already fall asleep, leaned with your head on his shoulder while he continued to read for a little while. Aemond enjoyed these moments a lot since you felt comfortable enough around him to lay on his shoulder and be asleep. Once he was done with reading for the night, he’d gently pick you up, trying not to wake you up and carry you towards your bed. Placing you on it and put the blanket over your body before he’d lay down next to you and give you a tender kiss on your forehead and fall asleep afterwards.

A few nights ago, it was quite different from the nights before. You sat next to each other on the settee in front of the fireplace, your hands touching each other from time to time. Which sent you a warmth through your bodies, there was a comfortable silence in the room. Only hearing the fire that was crackling, until Aemond spoke up with a soft, quite vulnerable tone in his voice. He asked you quietly if you could play with his hair, “like in the old days when we were younger” he would say and you happily did so. Your heart filled with awe as he mentioned the piece of your past.

Since then, your nightly routine included you standing behind him while he sat on the settee in front of the fireplace and listening to the crackles of the fire. He was reading one of his books while you carefully combed through his open platinum-white hair with your fingers, making sure you wouldn’t accidentally tug too much on it and that you wouldn’t accidentally tug on his eyepatch. It was always a comforting atmosphere while you two stayed like this, no conversations were needed. You both knew that you appreciated the quietness. Each time you combed through his hair he closed his eye for a moment and enjoyed the feeling of your fingers, bringing him the beautiful memories into his mind from when you were younger. Tonight, you wanted to add a few small braids into his hair and he happily let you do it. Aemond admired how widely you smiled after he agreed to let you braid his hair.

“Your hair is so soft, that’s not fair,” you pouted as you parted a small strand of his hair into three equal strands and began braiding them. He chuckled in response and flipped through his book. You always felt this way about his hair, even when you were younger. A memory he would and could never forget.

You didn’t talk for another while as he tried to focus on reading and you tried to focus on braiding his hair. After a while, you were done and he stopped reading and put his book aside. You walked around the settee and stood in front of him with an extended hand. It would usually be the moment you two would go into bed but he gently took your hand and pulled you into his lap instead. You sat sideways on his lap, his chest against your arm and legs laying on the free space of the settee. You looked at him surprised as he wrapped his arms around you, not used to such actions from him but you liked it a lot. One of his hands drew small circles on your thigh and without any questions you snuggled into him and put your head on his shoulder. You watched the fire and enjoyed the warmth of it and Aemond’s body. His chin was on top of your head and he had his eye closed.

“This feels good,” he mumbled and let out a relaxed sigh, his arms slightly tightening around you. Which caused you to smile and hum in agreement. This night you made more progress again.

“More than good,” you replied and put your hand over his hand, which was still drawing circles on your thigh. His touch was soft on you as he pondered about something that would change so much between you. He was sure it would add a deeper level of trust, vulnerability, love and understanding between you but he was afraid that it could ruin the progress you’ve made so far.

You noticed that something was on his mind and raised your head to look at him. “Do you wish to talk about what’s on your mind, my love?” You asked him with a gentle tone in your voice and brushed a strand of his hair out of his face.

“You’ve never left my mind,” he admitted and looked into your eyes. “I always missed you each time you weren’t here over the years.”

 If it would be possible, your face softened even more with his admission. You carefully traced his cheek under his scar. Not daring to get too close to his eyepatch, knowing he never really showed any intentions to show you how his eye looked underneath. You always wondered what it looked like but you didn’t want to push him to show it to you and rather waited as long as he might need to feel ready to show you. Aemond never took the eyepatch off in your presence, he was too afraid to scare you off or that you would be disgusted by it or by him. But you would never feel these ways. During most of the nights, he’d take it off but mostly you fell asleep first and he was the first one to be awake in the mornings again. If he woke up from his nightmares you wouldn’t light up a candle, so you were never actually able to see how it looked like. Of course, you were curious but you respected his decision to keep it hidden from you.

“So did I. I always missed the little jokes we made,” you reminisced with a chuckle but there was a hint of sadness in your voice. You’ve also remembered the times where he pushed you away and kept you out of his life.

“I never wanted to push you away,” he mumbled, which made you look into his purple eye, “I… I think I was afraid that you would hate me and leave me like almost everyone else when I needed them the most. So, I pushed you away instead.”

You listened and slowly nodded, “I’d have never hated or left you, Aemond.”

He tightened his embrace and nuzzled his face into your neck. You wrapped your free arm around his neck and held him close. “I was afraid you wouldn’t feel safe in my presence anymore.” He mumbled into your neck but you heard him clearly.

“I always felt safe in your presence.”

He looked up again and you saw the love he held for you in his eye. You caressed his cheek and leaned your forehead against his. The arm you had around his neck slightly tightened for a short moment.

“I never could have hated you, even after you pushed me away. I never held any hatred towards you,” you whispered with a tender voice. “I knew we drifted apart, as we had many things happening in our lives but I don’t blame you for anything.”

“I was always afraid that you would think that I’m disgusting after I lost my eye.”

With a shake of your head, you continued to caress his cheek. He leaned into your touch. “I could never imagine myself to ever feel disgusted by you, my dear.”

You felt how Aemond’s shoulders relaxed with your words, it was like he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He exhaled with a shaky breath, closed his eye and nuzzled his head back into your neck, inhaling your scent. He continued to draw small circles on your thigh and kept his eye closed. After another while he slightly pulled away from you and slightly adjusted how he sat. You watched him how he took your hand and moved it to his eyepatch. Your eyes widened and you tried to stop him but he held your hand firmly. His purple eye looking into yours.

“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” you whispered gently but he shook his head. “I want to, I wanted to show you for the longest time.”

You gulped and slowly nodded your head as you slowly removed his eyepatch. Watching the now-revealed blue sapphire where his left eye once was, your face softened again. You slowly and gently traced his scar in admiration. He held his breath; in fear, that you would change your mind and think he was disgusting but once he noticed that none of his fears would come true, he relaxed again and leaned into your touch.

“I still think you’re beautiful. What happened is horrible but it makes you, you. And I still love you regardless. No matter what,” you whispered and didn’t notice at first that you just told him for the first time that you loved him. His face softened and your eyes slightly widened and your body tensed up once you processed what you just admitted. He gently put his hand over yours, which was tracing his scar and squeezed it.

“I… I love you too,” he admitted and a smile made its way on your lips. Your body relaxing again.

The progress you two made that night caused you to get even closer and grow to be stronger together than you ever were. You shared many loving moments but it didn’t mean that everything was always going well and situations ended in very heated ways. Gladly, you were able to solve them in one way or another. After all, he would burn the world for you if it meant he would save you from any harm and keep you happy.

[f10werfae]

Child-Bearing Hip Dips

pairing: Professor!Ari Levinson x College!Student!Reader

summary: Ari overhears his babygirl’s conversation with her friends, he teaches her another lesson, why he loves her love handles. (DILF!Ari) (Dom!Ari)

likes, Comments and reblogs are appreciated/18+

Chris Masterlist, Full Masterlist

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

“fuck, ya know these hips were made for me don’t ya?” Ari growled slamming his cock into her wet fuck hole, his shirt unbuttoned as she pawed at his meaty chest and stomach, his lips coming down to pull and tug at her puffy nipples. “Y-Yes sir, o-Oh shit” Y/n moaned feeling him spit onto her face, his hands kneading at her hips, even spanking it lewdly. Her college professor, loved watching her body jiggle and move.

- 30 minutes ago -

“So Y/n, your truth is, if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?” Grace smiled picking a truth out of the hat, seeing that hardly anyone had attended the sociology lecture today due to weather problems, the girls made due and played some Truth or Dare; their seemingly distracted professor marking papers at his desk. His circular glasses perched on his nose, his eyes making subtle contact with Y/n, sending her a wink every few seconds.

She fidgeted and squirmed in her seat, having no underwear to put on this morning while at her boyfriend’s house, the greedy git had stolen it after he had fucked the daylights out of her. That same pair of lilac underwear, peeking out of his trouser pocket everytime he stood up to grab more papers to mark. He was practically teasing her at this point, even playing with the promise ring on his finger, reminding her of how those same thick fingers were tugging, pulling and feeling every bit of her the night before; in fact every night for the past 4 months since she took up this class.

“Oi Y/n, stop oglin’ Mr. Levinson n’ answer the question already” Lara whispered nudging her friend, repeating the question to her so they could move on with the game already, “Right oh uh, if I could change one thing about myself… maybe my hip dips? I don’t know anything I wear leggings they make my body look square and it puts me off. Plus! I don’t know, i’ve had people tell me before that it makes my proportions weird” Y/n explained scowling, gripping at the skin on her hips, her friends nodding as they could relate to the exact same thing.

“Ok next one-“ Before the next truth could be asked, the bell rang signifying the end of the day, all four college girls sighing out in relief at the thought of it finally being over. Lectures were to be put on hold after today, with the weather threatening to worsen, giving them all a weeks holiday to do whatever they pleased. Or whoever.

“Do all you ladies have a safe way home? Would you like me to call a few cabs?” Mr. Levinson offered seeing them all start to file out of the room, all of them stating that their significant other’s were picking them up, “What about you Miss L/n?” Ari asked tilting his head, seeing as now they were the only two left in his lecture hall, his fingers fiddling with the lilac fabric in his pocket.

“Hmm my man said he would pick me up, I don’t know if he’s here yet though” She pouted playfully walking around his desk, grabbing onto his sleeves as she pulled herself to smack a glossy wet smooch onto his lips, one that was gladly reciprocated. “is that so? What kinda man is that, leavin his woman stranded and cold” He cooed letting his hands fondle up her skirt, ripping a hole into her stockings, cheekily groping at her backside.

Both of them chuckling as he sat back down onto his chair, bringing her onto his lap, his hands going under the creme knit jumper of his that she chose to put on this morning; feeling her bare breasts as he also hid her bra from her. He hated seeing those wired marks on her back, he could care less if her tits sagged, they were only his to look at anyway. “Can we go to your place already? It’s cold and I still need to finish the damn paper my sociology teacher set me”

“Oh yeah good job tellin your sociology professor that” He grumbled bunching up his sweater just above her chest, exposing her globes to the cool air, the same ones he would spend any amount of time sucking and kissing on. “Anyway what’s this I heard about hip dips? Who told you that?” His fingers massaging deep into her hips, the same hips he loved seeing swaying round his kitchen as she listened to her music, the same hips that rode his cock to the moon and back, the same hips that belong to the most gorgeous girl he swears he’s ever seen. His Y/n’s hips.

“Well am not lyin! I’ve heard so many people tell me to lose ‘em, i’ve tried all the tips but these girls won’t budge. They just make me look bulky” She groaned running her hand back through his hair, his eyes darkening as her body was basically exposed to him. “Baby, these are my love handles, I love holdin’ onto them everytime your sweet pussy is wrapped around my cock, the way the muscles tense and relax with every movement. I don’t give a fuck about proportions either babygirl, at the end of the day it’s all mine to eat and grab at” He growled setting her onto his emptied desk, her fingers automatically undoing his belt and buttons, his trousers being tugged sown to his thick thighs.

“Open up baby, seems I need to remind my girl some of the things i’ve taught her” He gritted his teeth, feeling his cock being engulfed by her warm gummy walls, a familiar feeling for them both, comforting even. “F-fuck daddy, still so big” She whimpered, already feeling like she had been split into two, her older boyfriends cock was no joke.

-Present-

“fuck, ya know these hips were made for me don’t ya?” Ari growled slamming his cock into her wet fuck hole, his shirt unbuttoned as she pawed at his meaty chest and stomach, his lips coming down to pull and tug at her puffy nipples. “Y-Yes sir, o-Oh shit” Y/n moaned feeling him spit onto her face, his hands kneading at her hips, even spanking it lewdly. “What did I read people callin’ these once? Child bearin hips” He whispered licking up between her tits, her hands clawing onto his ass, pushing his hips farther into her; her tongue reaching out for his as her drool covered face mashed up against his in a sealing kiss.

Ari groaning at the feeling of his woman’s cunt clenching around his length, her hips wrapping her legs around his waist, caging him against her body as he continued thrusting in and out of her mercilessly. “Ya like that baby? The thought of your professor knockin you up? Watchin’ you walk around campus all full of my baby? Only we would know our dirty secret” He taunted whispering right against her lips, a string of saliva connecting them as she cried out and had to bite her lip to keep the rest in.

“Yes- Yes I want it all! Fuck just give it to me daddy, need it so bad, warm me up with your cum” She squealed feeling his hand leave her hips to start circling at her precious delicate button, rubbing it raw as he helped her chase her orgasm, his catching up with it. “Whatever my baby wants, she gets” He sighed out, and Y/n swore she saw stars, her toes twinkling closed, his shaft hitting her G-spot repeatedly. Their torsos flattened against each other, her hips slowly gyrating, his seed filling her to the brim, creating a cream like effect to the base of his cock where they connected.

“So what did you think about these hip dips again?” He breathed out resting his forehead against hers, fully taking off her sweater so they could feel each other’s warmth, skin to skin. “You mean my love handles babe” She giggled beaming up at him, despite her face being riddled with sweat and saliva, but Ari was sure he looked the exact same. From then on he swore he would fuck the insecurities out of her, even if it was the last thing he’d do.

“That’s my girl, now come on, let’s go home so I can help you with this ‘stupid sociology essay’ so we can spend the week doing somethin more productive” He joked cleaning her up a bit, even fixing her hair that was now all over the place, “Or something more reproductive” She giggled kicking her legs, already feeling him growing hard against her thigh, she’s got him again.

———

PSA: Big beefy Ari is back again🫶🫶🫶🙏

library blog: @f10werfaes-cosy-collection

Taglist ( not accepting, use library)

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See you all at the next update🫶

[planetpedri]

Always, forever — Bukayo Saka.

Pairing: Bukayo Saka x Fem!Reader

Summary: You’d sprained your ankle during ballet practice and you were.. upset to say the least. Luckily for you, you have the most caring boyfriend in the world.

Word count: 410+

Disclaimer/s: Injured ballerina!reader, hurt/comfort, angst.

A/N: This one goes out to all my babygirls (nilah) I see you ladies ( @sakashq ) and (this is my own special addition) I hope you love what I have to provide.

Pain shot through your leg every hobble you made. Curses left your mouth in quiet hisses, only becoming more harsh as your boyfriend helped you to your bed. Worry etched across his face the more you grumbled.

“Hey, maybe you should—“

“Just set me down.” You snap, freezing when you realized how rude you sounded. “Sorry, it just hurts. I didn’t mean to be mean.”

Bukayo shakes his head, “don’t apologize. I know injuries suck. I don’t blame you.” He offers you a kind smile, one you didn’t deserve.

Sinking down onto your bed, you allow your boyfriend to carefully lift your legs up to rest comfortably on the mattress.

“Thank you.” You exhale, resting against the headboard. “Are you going home now?”

Thinking for a moment, Bukayo shakes his head. He knew that tone you were using, the desperate one. The same one that he’d had once before. He couldn’t leave you alone, knowing if he did so, you’d just fall into a dark place.

“No, baby. I’ll stay here.” He shrugs off his hoodie, rounding the bed to climb onto the other side. “Movie, or do you want to take a nap?”

“Whatever you want to do.” You say, pulling a fuzzy blanket up and over your lap. “Or, wait, could you perhaps make me some tea? I could definitely use some right now.”

He doesn’t hesitate to slip his legs off the side of the bed and stand up. “Are the boxes in the same place?” You nod and he leaves, wandering off toward the kitchen.

It’s only a matter of minutes before he’s back, tea mug in hand alongside a bowl of grapes in the other. You couldn’t control the smile that made its way onto your face. He knew you so well, and you had never loved someone as much as you loved him in that moment.

“You’re the best. Thank you.” You gasp gratefully as he hands you the cup and bowl.

Climbing back into the bed, Bukayo takes the extra pillow behind him and positions it under your foot. “This should probably be elevated.”

You watch him carefully, adoration flooding your eyes. He was always so gentle with you, but this was a whole different side of Bukayo you’d had never witnessed before.

“I love you.” You speak suddenly, “so much.”

Looking up at you from where he was carefully cushioning your foot, the man smiles tenderly. “I love you just as much.”

likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you want tagged in any of my posts.

DTS , @halfwayhearted @ar4ujos @sakashq @hrts4havertz @spidybaby !

[babydin]

Her

Joel remembers when he was the guy who shot and missed. - Joel Miller x f!reader - 18+, minors DNI! - Grief, depression, death, child loss, trauma, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt - 1242 words - Comments/likes appreciated. Requests are open! - A/N: A recounting of the events after Sarah's death and Joel's suicide attempt from Joel's POV. Written in first person. You are 'her'.

 People act like they know what you’re going through, they think they know how it feels because they have known grief, but the difference in losing your grandma and losing your child is mighty. To be a parent without a child is fucking harrowing. 

They think I don’t hear them.   The ‘what’s his problem?’ followed by the ‘he just lost his daughter’ and the sorrowful grumbles that follow. I don’t want pity, I want Sarah. I want to close my eyes at night and not be reminded of the pain in her eyes as she looked up at me so desperately, begging me to do something and I did nothing. I did nothing. Tommy told me she was gone and I wailed and screamed so fucking loud that I hoped she’d hear me on her way to heaven and turn around and come back to me. People ask me how I’m doing with so much fucking pity it makes me sick, and I lie through my teeth and tell them I’m fine because I don’t have the energy to tell some motherfucker I barely know ‘I set a place for her at the table yesterday and when I realized she ain’t sittin’ at it I wanted to put my head in the oven’, ‘I haven’t been doing so well’, ‘My babygirl died in my arms how do you think I’m fucking doing?’ People act like they know what you’re going through, they think they know how it feels because they have known grief, but the difference in losing your grandma and losing your child is mighty. To be a parent without a child is fucking harrowing.  And there is nothing more kick-you-in-the-nuts offensive than thinkin’ you know what’s best for someone. I wish I could say some days are better than others but they’re all bad days. I didn’t mean to snap at her, but she sure as shit means to snap back when she says “I lost her too, Joel”.  I wake up every morning and the weight of another day is heavy on my chest and I ask whatever powers keep this rock spinning, why it was Sarah’s time and not mine, whatever situation we’re in these days seems to be getting worse and I wonder why I’m even fighting.  What exactly is it that’s keeping me alive? She tries her best with me, I know she does and I can see how much I hurt her. I try and be tough but some days it’s too fucking much. She finds me sitting in bathtubs of water that I allowed to go cold because I cried out all my energy and can’t pull myself out of it, she holds me through my bad dreams, she makes up bullshit about how Sarah will always be with me, or she’s got her Mama takin’ care of her now. 

    I listen, and nod, and try and force a smile like what she’s saying is balm but every breath I take burns in my lungs because my heart is fucking shattered. One day I wake up and the pain cuts through me like a knife. I’m aware of every single bone, and every single muscle in my body because there is an enormous weight crushing every inch of me. I eat breakfast and I consider putting rocks in my pockets and walking out into the ocean, but I don’t want to suffer. I’ve suffered enough, my pain has gone on long enough,  if I’m going to die I want it to be quick. I don’t remember if I woke up with a specific goal of ending my life but by 11am I had no intention of living until dinner.   I decided I was going to do it in the bathtub; thinking about the clean up maybe? Blood, I’d learned, was a fucking persistent stain. Suddenly the pain went away and I loaded a single bullet into my pistol and I didn’t feel a drop of fear. I was ready. A comforting hug, a hot coffee on a cold day, a cold tea on a hot day; Lady Death would’ve been very much welcomed. I thought about her bullshit, her bullshit about Sarah being with her Mama now and wondered if I was on my way to them too. My heart was poundin’ as I put that barrel to my temple but I wasn’t scared, I was so ready. I cocked it and took my last breath and I don’t know why. Then came her voice as I squeezed the trigger,   “JOEL!” They say right before you die your life flashes before your eyes. And I always thought it was a fucking cliche but hearing that shrill, squawk of my name, it really did. I remember the day I got married, I remember the day Sarah was born, when she took her first steps, the first time she spit up in my mouth, I remember the day I had to tell her that her mother died and how it was just us for so long. Then I remember her, and how she had only wanted Sarah to like her, how she had loved her like she was her own but never wanted to erase her mother’s memory, how she had cried with me when I had to tell her what happened to her, how she finished her eulogy because I couldn’t, all those nights she’d cried with me, been there for me, force fed me, made me drink water instead of booze. It was her. She was the thing keeping me alive, against my will it felt like sometimes, but she needed me just as much as I needed her.  The realization makes me flinch, she screams and pain still sears through my head and I can’t help but wonder if I’ve done it. She races to my side and climbs into the empty tub with me, there’s a pain and a fear in her eye that forces an apology out of me almost instantly as she pulls my head off the tiled wall and applies pressure to the part of my head that hurts the most. I can see her lips moving but I don’t hear a thing she’s saying because there’s a ringing in my ears so loud. It takes her pushing me into her chest to realize there’s blood dripping down the side of my face and the ringing subsides just enough for me to hear her beg me not to leave her. All I can do is whisper apologies, the pain has subsided and I don’t feel a thing, my fingers cling to her; I silently beg for her help, I hope that somewhere through her wailing she can hear my heart beating like a frightened steer, she pleads with me again not to go anywhere and I can’t find the words to ask her the same but I hope she hears it somehow.

  I must’ve blacked out for a hot minute because I opened my eyes and she’s putting bactine on my head. The feeling comes back. Whoever invented bactine can go all the way to hell. I apologize again and she tells me it’s okay but in such a way that I know it’s not okay at all but she puts steri-strips on the gash in my head and for a second I might actually believe that eventually it will be because this is where she’s always been. Holding me through my nightmares and being my guiding light on the other side. My reason for waking up in the morning, for fighting, for living to see the other side of whatever shit show is going on with the world right now. It’s her.

[astarionposting]

hey!! Could you share your favourite tav's of others? I'd love to connect with other people who posts their tav's! Also thank you for your tutorial's, they helped me so much <3

Hello! I got a similar ask but about male tav’s as well, so I figured I’d post it all in one. I don’t really follow that many Tav-centred blogs, mostly Astarion/Halsin/Gale, BUT a lot of my lovely mutuals have some BEAUTIFUL Tavs and I’ve even had the privilege of being able to photograph and edit some sets of them! &lt;3

My lovely mutuals with their beautiful Tavs/Durges/OCS:

@vspin (I love her drow baby she is so beautiful I wanna give her a little smoochie smooch)

@cheekylittlepupp (BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS GODDESS ANGELIC OC I am going to be doing some edits of her soon hehe)

@anderwelt (their OCs are so beautiful and unique, I had the pleasure of editing Ceres, but working my way towards editing Tae who is equally as cool and awesome and amazing)

@tadpole-apocalypse (so much beautiful artwork of their oc I luv Morgan sm)

@honeysulani (ALSO MAKES BEAUTIFUL SIMS IF U LIKE SIMS AS WELL)

@stinkrascal (pls pls look at their ocs i beg u they are all so beautiful and handsome)

@mercymaker (beautiful beautiful ocs AND incredible edits, just u have to see for urself ok??)

@asykriel (really hot and sexy male tav but I didn’t wanna say it out loud)

@narrayya (they make their own self-sculpted heads and they are absolutely gorgeous and ethereal and SO SOOOO UNIQUE)

@tugoslovenka (a gorgeous DRACONIC BLOODLINE drow lady and a new pretty pretty elf gal-also most badass names I’ve ever seen-I just steal mine from other video games 😭 )

@bhaalbaaby (many beautiful tavs, but I must say Penelope is my absolute favourite she is just so so soooo cute)

@julietvoid (NOW HER OCS ARE SO BABYGIRL I LOVE THEM THEY ARE AO BEAUTIFUL I JUST WANNA GIVE THEM SMOOCHES AND TWLL THEM HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM OK???)

@korcariiwitch (super fucking cool drow oc I love love LOVE)

@haarleps (i forgot to add but then remembered, VERY VERY BEAUTIFUL TAVS/OCS, especially Freyr also bc i am biased since that is freyja's-the goddess my tav's name was yoinked from-twin brother's name in norse mythology so i rlly like)

@malewife-mansplain-magus (this one is for the male oc anon- u just need to look like their ocs are just 👌👌chefs kiss ALSO INCREDIBLE AMAZING BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK I WAS LIKE WTF WHERE DID THAT MASTERPIECE OF GALE COME FROM ITS ONE OF MY FAV GALE FANARTS)

So there are probably so many more of my beloved mutuals that have incredible tavs/durges/ocs, I’m just really bad with my memory but I also tried to focus on those who (I think) post their ocs consistently 😭 so if I didn’t mention you and you are mainly a Tav/Durge/OC blog, PLEAAASE comment like I wanna see it and I also would love to share it for others to see &lt;;3

[thornswoggled]

this ones for all my babygirls. i see your comments ladies and they make me smile. im lurking, and im stalking when you least expect it.

[amethystsoda]

this one's for all my babygirls, i see your comments ladies and they make me smile. i'm lurkin and i'm stalking when you least expect it

[mamirhodessxox]

Daddy’s Girl!

Dad!Leon Kennedy x Mom!Reader

Content- Fluff!!!!, Leon being a girl dad, D/N (Daughter’s name) entering teen life & having Leon shitting bricks in the process, BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS!!!! Needless to say this is NOT the easiest time for Leon

Desc- D/N is now entering girlhood & teenage life & it is setting her father Leon into orbit, needless to say as much as he is proud of his daughter growing & becoming mature she will always be his spoiled little girl <3

Blue for Leon Pink for Reader Purple for D/N

{~I'm very serious with you guys interacting with my writing!!!! it would make me so happy & excited, the more comments & reposts the more inspiration i have to write :) Votes and comments are strongly appreciated so please COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMEENNTTT the more comments the more content <3!!!~}

It was finally that stage of D/N’s life that Leon despised thinking about, She was finally a teenager, 15 years old and already stressing out her father, although she was responsible & had outstanding grades to the point where Leon attempted to convince her to go to Harvard it was still hard on him, 2 seconds ago he literally watched her be born by her beautiful mother ever. You. And now here she is sitting at the dinner table studying with her ears stuffed with head phones blasting Nicki Minaj at a ridiculous volume, It was dinner so he teasingly snatched her headphones and snagged away her homework “Dinner time c’mon you know that geniusery is not allowed at the table when we eat” “dad what the hell!” “Language young lady” You snickered in the kitchen at the two’s bickering. It wasn’t going to be ending anytime soon.

And of course being a teenager had ups and downs and one of the biggest ones were boys & sneaking out. That’s right. B O Y S…. The biggest thing Leon dreaded, he did not want to see his babygirl fall in love and experience her first heart break he dreaded it, he thought about it since the day she was born and it easily had him entering a heart attack within 0.3 seconds. One day you were sitting in the living room with D/N and she kept giggling at her phone while Leon was cleaning up the table and staring her down with squinted eyes, “Whatcha smiling at pretty girl?” D/N smiled again as you asked her your teasing question and set her phone down all giddily “nothin’ just talking to a boy from my geometry class, he’s super cute and asked me out on a date.” Thump! Was the sound of Leon falling on the ground going into ‘cardiac arrest’ (not really) “Dad!? Are you okay!?” “Oh my god Leon stop being dramatic”

You can only imagine what happens when D/N goes on this date with the boy & the moment Leon met him, Leon stood right in-front of the door awaiting the doorbell to start ringing and what do you know? It rings “dad your being ridiculous” Leon ignored his daughter and opened the door with a stiff face staring down the teenage boy which caused the poor kid to start stuttering and shaking “M-Mr ken-kennedy! A pleasure to- to meet you!” “What are your intentions with my daughter? You know I work for the government right? You bring her back any later than 9:00 PM on the dot i will wipe out your entire existence.” “Ignore him Jacob..”

Wanna know what Leon did when he was waiting for D/N to come back from her date? He sat in the the living room staring out of the window LITERALLY holding a pistol & a metal baseball bat in his lap, and lucky for Jacob he dropped D/N 1 minutes before 9:00 hit the clock, He hugged your daughter goodbye & waited until she entered the house safe and sound “I think me and him will get along pretty well don’t you think?” “Shut up.”

And then there was the first time where you both watched D/N try to sneak put of her bedroom window to go to a party but got stuck due to her dress getting snagged “And what in gods name do you think your doing?” “Uhhh…rescuing the neighbors…cat??” D/N definitely faced consequences for that very reason but Leon didn’t have the heart to ground his daughter so he let her off.

And then came the awaited heart break. D/N & Jacob had dated for 6 months straight & he dumped her over the phone, You & Leon were sitting downstairs watching tv and then see a phone get thrown from upstairs with a door slam & a loud scream of frustration “fuck.” Leon immediately knew what this was about & he rushed into the garage looking for his metal bat and you had to chase after him “Leon don’t you dare! You leave that boy alone now!” “Absolutely fucking not? He broke my little girl’s hear-“ “you don’t even know if he broke up with he-“ and then you heard another scream “I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM!!!” That night Leon literally went over to Jacobs house and started banging on the door & soon welcoming himself in when his mother opened the door “I’m so sorry ma’am..” both you & his mother watched as he made his way upstairs to find D/N’s ex and all you heard was a muffled: “Listen here you little shit I warned you I would wipe out your entire existence now you’re going to go to school tomorrow and give my daughter a proper goddamn apology.”

Soon afterwards you watched Leon walk downstairs back towards the door holding the bloody that surprisingly wasn’t bloody “See you at Parent Teacher nice Janice.”

And let me tell you. Jacob gave D/N the apology of a lifetime. But what was the most difficult part for Leon is watching His daughter slowly get used to the next few breakups. But then time came around to where she was finally 18 & graduating highschool.

The final piece to his home videos collection, you & Leon sat in the auditorium filming the ceremony and once the principal announced “D/N Scott Kennedy” You immediately stood up clapping and then heard a loud shout “THAT’S MY DAUGHTER, MY BABY GIRL IS GOING TO HARVARD!!!” “Leon lower your voice!” The moment she got her diploma and went off stage Leon practically threw the camera in your hands and ran towards her & immediately wrapped her into a big warm fatherly hug that showed how proud he was to be her father.

It was safe to say that D/N’s teenage years were definitely interesting & more stories involving her childhood were to come soon as there was a box full of them <3

xtripleiiix’s masterlist

🏷️ list: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen

[slowd1ving]

[EAT MY HEART, I'LL EAT YOURS] ⁺ 　 . ✦SNIPPET

this ones for all my babygirls... I see your comments ladies, and they make me smile. I'm lurking and stalking where you least expect it. But lately I've just been takin care of my business and gettin my grind up, but I promise you, I'll be back to play and get my flirt on uhh anyways I'm simultaneously working on this, a request I got a few days ago, and the dr ratio cursed prince au so good luck to me tbh here is the prequel to this

HONKAI STAR RAIL MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST ・゜・NAVIGATION

[princesscolumbia]

Pride Month 2024 - Day 11

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the single most controversial thing I've ever written:

🄳🄴🄰🄳 🄳🄾🅅🄴, 🄳🄾 🄽🄾🅃 🄴🄰🅃!

🪦🕊️🔞"BAMF" or "Ranma is Fucked"🔞🕊️🪦

(Looking for a link? Keep reading)

This is a "dead dove" fic. If you're unfamiliar with the concept, it's based on the GIF of the guy finding a bag in the fridge labelled "Dead Dove, Do Not Eat!" He opens it and finds...a dead dove, and upon the discovery of the very thing the bag was labelled for, he says, "I don't know what I was expecting."

Yeah, that one.

A 'dead dove' fic is one where the author has chosen to dip into some pretty problematic stuff. Maybe it's something specific to the fandom, the genre, the age group of the target demographic...whatever the problem, they've properly identified it as a dead dove fic at the outset, usually be either putting something in the title, the tags, using a warning system if one is available, sometimes all of those and more.

Basically, it's the author putting a big-ol "DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT!" on their fic, so at that point if someone opens the bag and discovers that there is, in fact, a dead dove, that person has nobody but themselves to blame.

Getting it yet? This is a dead dove fic. Last chance to keep scrolling before getting into problematic stuff that might trigger you. Still with me? The rest of this post is below the cut:

"BAMF" or "Ranma is Fucked"

Summary:

The day after Ranma (pretending to be 'cousin Ranko') is seduced by/accidentally seduces her mother, she gets to face the world with the knowledge that she is, indeed, a mother fucker.

First off, yes, this is based on another fic, a oneshot from an author who admitted they don't do well writing long-form, so it was a concept they thought of and dropped the (very, very good) short story and moved on. You can find that fic here if you're so inclined, but even BeehiveCitizen has acknowledged that I've built on their work so much reading their story may not be necessary. In fact, my most recent glowing comment on "BAMF" confirms this:

I shouldn't like this fic. It's main theme is a major personal squick. I don't usually read Dead Dove fics. I'm squicked by most incest play and the terms Daddy or Mommy or Babygirl in sexual settings are quick turn offs. There are lots of good reasons why I shouldn't like this fic. I'm not even sure why I chose to read it. I've spent the last week reading or rereading every single trans Ranma story on this site, but normally I'd still skip a Mother/Daughter fic. But some whim made me decide to give it a shot. I shouldn't like this fic. But I fucking loved it. I loved every fucking scene Nabiki showed up in. I loved watching Ranma discover and then embrace her own sexual nature, while still struggling with gender identity and her relationship with Nodoka. I loved seeing Ukyou embrace gender fluidity. Akane's lesbian realization. All of the characters in this story felt like realized characters, albeit ones that keep making incredibly poor choices and can't keep their hands off each other. Which, granted most of the characters are teenagers so that follows. The humor was amazingly hilarious. So much of the fic left me actually giggling out loud, from the first scene on. I am giggling right now just remembering parts of it. The drama was heart wrenching. Watching Ranma struggling with her gender, her fears and self loathing over lying to her mother about her identity. The end of chapter 5 where Ranma has her moment of anguish followed by how hard she spirals at Nodoka's flinch was so heartbreaking to read, yet so well done. And the part at the end where Ranma falls into depression... That hit me hard. I've had my own struggles with depression, and your depiction was viscerally familiar without being triggering. I absolutely loved Ranma's drunken breakdown to Konatsu. Konatsu was always my favorite Ranma side character, and I would be so interested in seeing her POV in that scene. The sex scenes are damn good. I'll admit I didn't really get anything out of the Ranma/Nadoka scenes. Major squick and all. But they were done so well I never thought about skipping or just skimming them. And the rest of them... Fucking hell that's good smut. My favorite must have been the Ryoga scene. The whiplash from Ranma's gender breakdown to drowning her issues with sex was perfect. And I also love me some well done Ranma/Ryoga. I love this fic. I came home at almost midnight from an extra long shift at work and discovered it while lying in bed looking for something to read before sleeping. I didn't sleep. I could not put this fic down. I spent all day today at work with it buzzing in my head. I'm considering making it my next ficbinding project so I can have a nice hardback copy of it. I read your extended notes on Tumblr about it. I'm at work now waiting for my relief to get in while writing this essay of a comment. I am eagerly awaiting that promised sequel. I'm an old school Ranma fan. I've been reading Ranma fanfic since I was a teenager in the 90s. I love Ranma fanfic. It was Ranma fanfic that first cracked my egg, even if I spent 20 years after that trying to glue it back together. So I've read the works of the old masters. And let me say this, hearing this story described as the Dark Mirror Universe version of Kenko's Girl Days hit me in the head like a lead pipe and left me dazed and seeing stars.

When I started "BAMF" I was in the middle of reviving Fission, grinding on LLW, and chunking out "Return to Sender" and "Afraid to Ask." I didn't anticipate actually spending that much time on this; a chapter or five, probably short form to keep from straying off into the weeds, then done.

I shall now quote my girlfriend's reaction to the end result:

"You wrote a 110-THOUSAND word incest smutfic!!!!"

Which is, strictly speaking, true. One cannot deny that there's a lot of smut in it, a good chunk of it is incest smut, and there are, indeed, over 110,000 words in the thing.

But what I didn't expect was to wind up crafting one of the damned finest transfemme Ranma pieces I could even imagine.

Of course, it came with baggage. I'm pretty firmly no longer welcome in parts of the fandom. Like, at all. Certain authors and community members have proactively blocked me on the socials and there's a handful of fics I can't leave comments on because some people have conflated, "You wrote this" with "You endorse this." Which...no, that's not how it works.

(Not going to rabbit hole the whole "pro/anti-shipping" discourse because it's dumb and stupid and it should be obvious which side I think is phenomenally dumb and stupid)

Also, I don't know many erotica pieces you know where the author put in, "This shit's fucked, if you're experiencing any of it IRL PLEASE seek help!" in their fic at regular intervals. Which, you know, is something I did. Because sometimes people are deep in the shit and don't know it until they read their lived experience and someone points out that no, relating to that character is not a good thing.

A gentle reminder that the behaviors and actions in this fic are not to be normalized or accepted. RP is fun and enticing, actual incest, abuse, and suicidal ideations are not.

Suicide Prevention Hotline

For the U.S.A.: 988 Hotline

For the U.K.: SPUK

Resources for your country: psychologytoday.com/Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World

Reporting Domestic Abuse

Identifying and Reporting Domestic Abuse in the USA: Wikihow

For the U.K.: UK.gov

Resources for your country: International Center for Missing and Exploited Children

Abduction of a minor

For the U.S.A.: Call 911

For the U.K.: Call 999

For your country: Call the Emergency Police line in your area

Resources for abducted children: International Center for Missing and Exploited Children

If you recognize the behaviors in this fic in you or the people you are in relationships with, get to a place of safety and seek help as soon as possible.

[doomzday-zone]

this one goes out to all my babygirls: i see your comments ladies and they make me smile 😊 im LURKING and im STALKING when you least expect it

[zappedbyzabka]

Me when I lose all brain power and can’t reply to anyone for an unreasonable amount of time:

This one is for all my babygirls. I see your comments, ladies (neutral), and they make me smile. I’m lurkin and I’m stalkin when you least expect it. But lately I’ve just been taking care of my business and getting my grind on but I promise you I’ll be back to play and get my flirt on.

[wonibow]

this ☝🏻ones for all my babygirls 👶🏻🎀 , i see 👀 your comments 💬 ladies 👯‍♀️ and they make me smile 😁 i’m lurking 👁️ and I’m stalking 👣 when you least expect it but right now I just been working 💪 on myself 😌 and getting my grind 💵 🔥 on but don’t worry, I’ll be back to play 🤹‍♀️ and get my flirt 💋 on 😉

I can’t believe i actually memorised all that 😭

HELP?!?! that video lives in my head and haunts my dreams, he's my new sleep paralysis demon 😭✋🏻 that should be your new way of approaching gyals from now on, i'm sure it'll sweep all of them off their feet instantly~

pfft i can 💀