#this one time years ago where Harper made my whole birthday | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

obsidianfr3sk · 4 years ago

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through the aching shell

Hello!!! After a practically two months without posting anything (not because I was feeling down or anything, school was just making me go crazy), I finally finished the thrid part of the shell series I’m writing with my mother and dear friend Dawn ( @honey-hippie-harper), where we explore the angsty and depressing parts of Hugh and Simon’s relationship, because we’re crazy and we like to make it everyone’s problem.

The last two parts (which you can find here and here, and should read in that order for you to understand this one) were from Simon’s POV, but this time I decided to take some creative liberties and write it from Hugh’s POV, since this is basically my own birthday present (yeah, people, I’m 18 years old now, I’m so grown up *emoji with cool glasses*) and I have a permit to do whatever I want (? so I decided to write about Adrian starting his criminal life (?), the Council fighting like my mental ilnesses do at 2AM, and how Georgie’s death affected her loved ones, but especially Hugh, since, like Dawn said, we firmly believe they were best friends and he didn’t grieve her in a healthy way:’)

This ended up being... a lot longer than I expected (literally 67 word pages). And also a lot more depressing. I want to give a pretty important trigger warning for suicidal ideation, especially for the last scenes. Please, if you read, proceed with caution and take care of yourself.

On other important news (?), I didn’t feel like killing people today, so I took this canon divergence post my moms did of how Callum and Winston survived the arena, and decided they were going to survive. I don’t think it’s super obvious because of how I wrote the scene, but I just wanted to let you know, so you can be happy with me about it.

And what else? Well, I think that’s it:’) thank, Dawnie, for letting me continue this, I feel honored you let me form part of it skldhfjksdjhskd and I’m tagging @healing-winston-pratt and @the-wee-woo-girl in this, because I know you really like the shell series and want to know what happens next! Thanks to you too for your nice comments, I love you so much, my friends <3 and I hope you love this part too as much as I love writing it.

It wasn't until several minutes passed after he heard Simon going upstairs that Hugh realized he had been sitting on the ground during all this time.

He held onto the kitchen counter and stood up with difficulty. As soon as he saw his own hand, he noticed it had small silver drops all over it, and they reminded him of the coffee sometimes they accidentally spilled when they grabbed their respective cups before heading out of the house.

They also reminded him of blood.

In fact, they were awfully similar to blood.

He passed his sleeve over it to clean it. Not only did that refuse to work, but now he also had a gray stain on his uniform

Fuck.

But before he could come up with something to do about it, Simon started walking downstairs, slower and clumsier than before, while struggling with some heavy object. He stayed completely still for a couple of seconds, deliberating about what he was supposed to do.

Should he go to see what was going on?

Should he go help him?

Should he go and ask him to stay for the last time?

He was fast enough to turn his back on Simon when he showed up on the kitchen door hiding the trail of chrome he had left with his body

During the ten seconds Simon stayed there, staring at him, Hugh kept his eyes on his hands, flatly refusing to look back at him because if he did, he would meet her eyes too.

And he wasn't willing to go through that again in front of Simon.

In front of anyone, really.

He should have never allowed his emotions to come out in such a grotesque and explosive way. He thought he had learned to keep his anger, but the last time he had snapped like that was as recent as Genissa's Clark threat, after he couldn't stand how the rest of the Renegades were looking at the Council—

How they were looking at him.

It had been a slip. A pretty serious slip and that should not have happened again. Much less in the magnitude with which it had just happened a few moments ago, with Simon.

Simon.

Of all people, it had been Simon.

The man who irradiated the the most powerful beam of kindness without even saying a single word. The one who was able to talk people out of their evil ways because he was convinced goodness was a crucial part of human nature and no one was beyond repair. The person he thought about each time the fire of his anger started to emerge in his throat, and whose smile, eyes, and voice were enough for Hugh to be able to control him.

But today it hadn’t.

It hadn't been enough.

Simon hadn't been able to make it better.

The fire had gotten out of his control, and now, there was nothing left but ashes.

Ashes of anger that now was reduced to shame.

When Hugh turned around, Simon was closing the door on his way out.

***

He stayed leaning against the kitchen bar for a good four hours before he received the first message asking him where he was.

It was from Tamaya.

She said they needed to talk.

About what? She didn’t specify. But it was probably about how they left her alone for hours when it was supposed to be just during their lunch break.

While he texted her he would be there in a minute, he couldn’t help but look at his sleeves, and immediately knew, he couldn’t go there wearing those clothes, so he went through the small closet where they kept their clean superhero suits in case they needed to change after a mission or something. When he opened the closet and realized it was empty, he remembered Simon had taken them to the Headquarters, because he thought it was better to keep them there, since it was where they were most of the time.

Hugh clenched his fists and, before he could make a hole through the wall or something, he sighed and decided to take a shower first.

Tamaya would be fine if he disappeared a couple of hours more.

Maybe Tamaya could bring him one…

But Tamaya was in charge of the Headquarters, so she was pretty busy at the moment. Evander would take hours to get there and ask for explanations he didn’t want to give him, and… to be honest, he wasn’t quite sure if he was in the right state of mind to ask Kasumi to do him a favor.

“If Adrian wants to see me—”

Then, he remembered Adrian.

He was still at the hospital with Max. And if his mental clock was correct, he needed to be with his team in exactly an hour so they could start patrolling.

After showering, he put on some civilian clothes and grabbed the keys he had left on the entrance table.

Simon’s keys weren’t there though.

He had taken his own car.

***

Adrian wasn’t at the waiting room like he had said he would, but that didn’t surprise Hugh. No, what actually surprised him was how empty the whole hospital looked. No nurse was attending the front desk, and the few doctors he could see were either running to get to the next patient or whispering something to their coworkers. When he started wandering through the hospital, looking for a familiar face he recognized from the ones who were involved in Max’s case to ask them if he had seen Adrian (and if he could pay a quick visit to Max to kiss him goodnight because he probably wouldn’t be able to go to the hospital again before his bedtime), he noticed a group of nurses consoling a crying one a couple of meters from there.

He didn’t recognize her from anywhere, so he didn’t even bother to ask her anything.

Also… what the hell, he could pay a quick visit to Max without asking for their permission first. He was Captain Chromium, even if he wasn’t wearing his uniform at that moment, but most importantly, he was Max’s dad. He wasn’t going to stay there and wait for them to get their shit together and start doing their job.

After taking the elevator to get to the floor where Max’s room was, he noticed two doctors standing right beside the door, arguing in a low voice. They didn’t even realize Hugh was there until he was right in front of them, about to ask them if they could move to let him enter the room.

One of them interrupted what the other was saying and immediately tried to stop Hugh.

“I’m sorry, sir, you cannot be here, it’s a quarantine—” when she made contact with him, she and the other doctor’s expressions changed completely.

He had seen the same face a thousand times after people realized who they were talking to.

In other circumstances, he would have tried to be nice about it, but at that moment, he didn’t have any energy left to tell them about his intentions.

He needed to kiss Max goodnight. And then, he needed to look for Adrian.

So when he carefully pushed them aside and walked into the room, he didn’t feel any guilt for acting like that.

What he did feel, was his blood freezing the instant his eyes laid on Max’s bed and saw it was completely empty.

The small smile he had just put on his face to greet his kid immediately disappeared.

“Where—”

“Your sons have left this hospital, Mr. Everhart,” the doctor blurted out. “Together.”

But that wasn’t what Hugh was going to ask.

“Doctor— Where’s my husband?”

I need to see my husband.

***

According to what the doctors told him while they took him to one of their offices, Adrian and Max had escaped the hospital forty minutes before Hugh arrived. They knew it had been that way since one of the nurses saw them and tried to stop them, but they somehow made her faint for a couple of minutes, and when she was able to turn on the alarm, they were already gone. The doctors who were in Max’s room when he arrived were the ones who found the note Adrian had left, a note where he assured Max was fine, with his brother, and that the Renegades had nothing to worry about.

But Hugh was worried. He was so worried he couldn’t even yell at the staff for being so negligent and letting a teenager and a kid— two kids, go under their noses. He was so worried, that when Simon barged into the office, also wearing his civilian clothes, he didn’t run to hug him like he had been craving all that time he had to sit down and think about the horrible things that may be happening to his sons in those instants, while he heard the doctors doing their absolute best not to look like complete idiots in front of him and failing miserably; instead, he stayed quiet and let him ask all the questions he wanted to ask, doing his best not to look at him, not even out of the corner of his eye.

The last straw for him was when, by accident, the crying nurse (who apparently worked in the maternity ward) entered, and broke again as soon as she saw them, assuring them that she would never let them get to the roof if she had known their true intentions.

He heard roof and he heard intentions. And he immediately came to the realization, that even though the doctors had told him the whole staff was looking for them everywhere, no one told him if they had already looked for them...

If they had already looked for them outside the building.

After murmuring some words to the nurse, Simon got out of there, running like a crazy man through the hospital, being followed by the two doctors, trying to stop him, so he wouldn’t make a scene in front of the other patients.

And Hugh, who immediately felt uncomfortable as soon as they left him alone with the sobbing woman, stood up and followed the sounds of the doctors' pleas.

He knew where Simon was going.

When he got there, Simon was leaning over the roof, while the doctors stayed under the door frame, with mortified faces.

Seconds later (which felt like hours), he stumbled back from the edge of the roof and sat down on the floor, sighing with relief.

It was more than enough for him to feel able to breathe normally again.

“Mr. Everhart—” the doctor said. “I think you should call your son.”

He agreed and let him know with a nod of his head. Then, he asked something about if they wanted to go to the office again, but Simon answered before him and told the doctor it was fine. Then, his co-worker grabbed him by the arm and told them they were going to give them their space. That time, none of them answered her. So they left without saying anything else.

It wasn’t like it mattered to him anyway. At that moment, the only one he wanted to hear was Simon’s voice.

Simon’s voice yelling at him. Crying. Cursing. It didn’t matter in what tone he was talking as long as he was able to hear him say his name.

Say something.

Anything.

Simon kept his head low but pointed at Hugh’s bracelet.

Call Adrian.

The bracelet rang on the other side of the line, and the more it did, and the more silent Simon stayed, the more Hugh’s worry started to vanish.

The wind took away the ashes of his anger, and let the fire start again.

As soon as Adrian picked up, he put him on speaker.

But he didn’t let him talk.

“Where is he?” he barked through the phone. “Adrian, what have you done?”

Simon slowly stood up, stumbling a little, and Adrian clicked his tongue. “So… you got the note?”

Oh, my—

“Yes, we got the note!” he yelled. “What’s going on? Where’s Max?”

“He’s somewhere safe,” Adrian responded immediately. “Trust me.”

He almost snorted. “Trust you? What does that even—”

Suddenly, Simon grabbed him by the arm and brought the bracelet closer to his face. “Adrian, we do trust you.” And he quickly added: “And we trust Max.”

Trust.

“But this is serious,” Simon continued. “We need to know where he is. You of all people should understand how dangerous it is for him to be alone out in the world.”

“He is not alone,” Adrian argued. “No other prodigies will be at risk, and he’s comfortable and secure, maybe even happy, which is more than we could ever say about putting him back in that quarantine.”

Simon opened his mouth but he couldn’t find any words to say. His grip started to get loose little by little until he let him go completely.

He couldn’t take his eyes away from Simon’s hands.

He wanted to hold them so bad.

“How did you even manage to get him out of the hospital?” Hugh asked Adrian. “Did you find the Vitality Charm?”

“No, Dad. But I— I borrowed one of the hazmat suits from HQ and put Max into it,” he explained. “The barrier protected me from his powers long enough to get him to where we needed to go.”

That was enough for Simon to come back to reality. Just that this time, he just got closer to the bracelet; he didn’t touch him at all. “A hazmat suit? And no one noticed a ten-year-old kid wandering down the corridors in a hazmat suit?” just after saying that sentence, he subtly gasped and groaned. “Invisibility. Right. You know, I forget that he has that one, too.”

For a second, Hugh thought he was talking to him. But when Adrian answered, he knew Simon was not. “You did give it to him, so technically, it’s kind of like you helped him escape.”

“Don’t get smart,” he snapped. “And he didn’t need to escape. He’s not a prisoner!”

“Wasn’t he?”

He didn’t wait for them to answer him. It was a rhetorical question.

Not like Hugh knew how he would answer that question.

“Look, I know you guys love him,” Adrian continued, “but I’m not letting you put him back in that quarantine, end of story. For now, he’s safe where he is until we find a more permanent solution.”

Simon turned away, covering his mouth with his hand, and looking at the sky.

Adrian— Adrian didn’t sound like his usual self. In fact, if he wanted to be completely honest with himself, the way his son was behaving reminded him a lot of a younger Adrian, who was just a little bit older than Max, entering into what would soon become his teen years, and liked to think all his parents did was making his life a living hell. Like when he asked Hugh to let him go to that Renegades Camp that was supposed to be only for the kids who were living in orphanages funded by the Council, or when he wanted Simon to get him a couple of new sneakers; in both situations, he received no for an answer, and proceeded to make a huge deal out of it, asking them why were they always trying to isolate him from other kids, or if they were poor again and would have to share a piece of bread between the three of them, like when they lived at Simon’s house.

Both of those situations were tantrums that Hugh could let slide. He let Adrian go to the camp that year (after a lot of consideration) and bought him the sneakers he wanted as his birthday present, even getting a little mad at Simon for not getting them when Adrian asked him to since it wasn’t like they didn’t have the money or something.

Even he could understand those situations were… things all kids went through at that age. It was a phase that Adrian outgrew.

But that— that was not a phase.

That was not even a tantrum.

It was reckless and stupid, and dangerous.

And he was putting Max in danger. He was making Simon as worried as he had never seen him worried before.

And it was something Hugh could not let slide.

Not this time.

“No, Adrian,” Hugh said, “you are going to tell us where he is right this minute, so we can get him back to the hospital and make sure—”

But Adrian knew how to play that game too.

“We’ll talk about it later,” he interrupted. “For now, I’m late for a team meeting. Okay, guys? Love you, bye!”

And he hanged up.

And he didn't give them a chance to tell him they love him too.

But even if he had, Hugh knew he wouldn't say it back.

Just like that morning when they visited Nova at Cragmoor.

Before Hugh could even move, Simon left the roof, leaving him alone with those words echoing inside his head.

Trust me.

Hugh remembered he had trusted her. And, in a way, she had trusted him too.

And that was when everything started going downhill.

***

There was nothing Hugh could do at the hospital anymore. He encountered the doctors that had been informing them about the whole situation, and when he started telling them everything was fine and that they were able to locate their kids, they told them Mr. Westwood had already been there and notified them. They also promised everyone in the hospital was going to keep Max’s condition a secret and assure him no information was going to be leaked to the media to keep him safe. Hugh thanked them, but honestly, it was the least they could do.

When he went to the hospital’s parking lot, he looked for Simon’s car. Since he didn’t find it, he assumed he had gone to Kasumi’s house.

Hugh was going to return to Headquarters. To distract himself.

He entered through one of the back doors, so no one from the patrol units or the janitorial team saw him in his civilian clothes. He was lucky not to walk into someone while going through the corridors, but he didn’t feel safe until he entered his office and closed the door behind him.

And that feeling lasted… five seconds.

Because when he turned on the lights, Tamaya was sitting on top of his desk, with her legs crossed and drumming her fingers against the dark wood.

“Shit, Tamaya, why are you in my office?” he asked her with a hand on his chest.

She didn’t seem a little ashamed when she heard him scream. She didn’t even flinch.

“Shit, Hugh, why are you not in your office?” she asked him back.

She knew he didn’t like when people copied his exact words.

“Get off my desk,” he ordered her while walking towards it and sitting in his swivel leather chair. “You look super creepy waiting for me in the dark. Next time send a text”

Tamaya acted like she didn’t hear him. “I did,” she growled. “I did and you told me you were going to be here in a matter of minutes. What the hell happened there? What the hell was so important it made you think it was appropriate to leave me hanging here?”

Hugh opened one of the drawers (the bigger one) and found his uniform inside a plastic bag. It had a purple sticky note, and in permanent black sharpie, Simon had written his name with his wonderful, horrible calligraphy and drawn small hearts around it.

Hugh turned it into a small ball and threw it in the trash.

“Evander was here,” he reminded her as if she didn’t already know it. “I didn’t leave you hanging.”

“Evander doesn’t count. He’s asleep right now, actually.”

In Headquarters, they had a couple of rooms filled with beds, in case the patrol units needed to rest after a particularly long shift or wanted to take a nap before patrolling. For some reason, Evander liked to rest there, and if no one else was there, he even locked the door so no one was able to come in. Hugh thought it was very selfish of him to do that, but Evander assured him it was actually pretty comfortable (as if that was the problem he had with it) and Simon always told Hugh to let it go since it was something Evander only did after he finished his shift or was about to be up all night, just like the patrol units.

But he wasn’t going to let it go now. He decided that after putting on his uniform, he was going to kick the door down, grab him by the ankles, and throw him out of the bed.

Hugh closed the drawer. “Hey, I’m going to change my clothes, so—”

His lips sealed just as Tamaya put a hand on his shoulder.

Not like “I’m with you”.

More like…

“Move and I’m going to kick your ass.”

Hugh didn’t want to get his ass kicked that day.

“Answer. My. Question.” And she said it again. “What the fuck was so important it made you think it was appropriate to leave me hanging here?”

He tried to think of an excuse not to tell Tamaya the truth.

But, honestly, there wasn’t one. She was going to know all about it sooner or later.

“Max disappeared from the hospital.”

Tamaya let go of his shoulder and gasped. “What?—”

“Don’t worry,” he quickly added, “he’s fine, Adrian took him. Can I change now?” She sighed and then, she nodded. “Thanks. Hold the fort.”

Tamaya walked to the door and locked it, just to make sure no one was going to enter and see Captain Chromium, their boss, just wearing his underwear and trying to get into those tight leggings everyone had told him looked ridiculous since the moment he turned them into a crucial part of his superhero gear (and personality), but he kept wearing and will keep wearing until the day he died.

Hugh was going to hold on to that small piece of dignity he had left as if his life depended on it, because, maybe, just maybe, it kind of did.

So… one way to do it, was to make sure no one entered while he changed his clothes.

Tamaya could stay though. It would be stupid to put on an act of false modesty when Tamaya had seen all of them naked at some point in their lifes. However, the main difference between her and Evander, who had also seen everyone naked, was that Tamaya just remained quiet and closed the door almost as soon as she had opened it, while Evander started screaming so loud, that if they had had neighbors, they would have heard him say he had seen boobies (or a pee-pee, depending on the case) (he also hated the word pee pee thanks to that.)

Tamaya, respectful as she was, kept her eyes fixated on the ceiling. “So that’s why you were dressed up like that,” she mumbled. “I wouldn't change my clothes if my son went missing, either.”

That hadn’t exactly been the line of events, but what Tamaya didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. “How dare you. I have an incredibly good sense of fashion.”

Hugh was wearing a t-shirt, a hoodie, and ratty jeans.

In his defense, he hadn't done laundry that week.

That wasn’t a great defense, but still.

“Yeah, sure,” she scoffed. “When you entered, I thought you were an intruder and was about to get all defensive and shit.”

“Well, you’re not the only one—” he put his civilian clothes in the plastic bag “—When I went to the hospital, no one really recognized me at first either.”

Tamaya slightly smiled and then crossed her arms against her chest. “What do you mean Adrian took him?” she asked.

He stopped what he was doing for a couple of seconds. “I mean that,” he finally said. “He took him. Adrian got Max out of the hospital, took him somewhere else, and refused to tell us where he is.”

“And where’s Adrian now?”

“Patrolling with his team.”

Patrolling with his team.

As if he hadn’t kidnapped his brother and put in danger dozens of prodigies in the process.

As if he hadn’t worried them as if he had done before, because apparently, he was still too young and immature to comprehend that Max’s situation was something neither of them wished for, but at the same time, was a lot more complicated than he thought it was.

As if nothing had happened.

Tamaya stayed in complete silence until he sat down and remembered, he didn’t bring the boots that he wore with the superhero suit.

Great.

Those shoes didn’t even match the leggings.

“And what did you tell him?”

“Nothing. He didn’t give me the chance.”

Maybe if he stayed behind his desk until he finished his responsibilities of the day, no one would notice. And he could always exit through the backdoor.

“That kid. He wasn’t like that— Adrian had never done something like this before. I’m— I’m honestly shocked by his behavior.”

“You tell me.”

But he didn’t want to. Yet. He didn’t want to go to his house.

Not like that.

Not alone.

“What are you going to tell Adrian?”

And Adrian.

Alone, and with Adrian.

“What am I going to tell him?”

Tamaya nodded, and a wave of possible answers flooded his head.

Adrian, you’re in big trouble.

Adrian, you’re grounded for the rest of your life.

Adrian, please tell me where Max is, I’m begging you.

Adrian, grow up.

Adrian, your dad is not coming back for a very long time.

Adrian.

Your mom—

“Nothing.”

Because there is nothing that could be said.

Tamaya raised her eyebrows. “Nothing?” she doubtfully asked.

“Nothing.”

“You can’t say nothing to him,” she objected, incredulous. “That’s just not healthy.”

Hugh pretended he was going through the pages of a document someone had left for him on his desk. As if he could read those tiny letters without his glasses.

As if he couldn’t go years without talking to people.

Or about them.

“Hugh. Hugh, are you lis—”

“What did you want to talk about?”

“Huh?”

When he realized he was rolling his eyes, it was too late to stop. He just kept talking and hoped Tamaya didn’t gouge them out. “You told me before you needed to talk to me,” he explained.

“No, I said we needed to talk,” she corrected him pointing at him with a finger. She was wearing black nail polish.

You see? You remember perfectly.

“Well, in case you were wondering—” he opened the document and started reading it “—I’m listening. What’s the situation?”

Tamaya didn’t have time to react to his words. If she was going to scream, start talking about what she (she, because Hugh didn’t want to), or genuinely gouge his eyes out, no one, probably not even Tamaya herself, would ever know.

A loud banging, stifled voices, and a very familiar yell interrupted them all of the sudden.

“DAD!”

Hugh grasped tightly the pages of the document, while Tamaya grunted loudly and opened the door, her wings extended and bristly.

“WHAT?!”

The loud banging and stifled voices went silent. But the familiar yell didn’t fear Tamaya.

Because he was that reckless.

“Dad.”

Tamaya’s wings relaxed and she moved aside, letting Hugh see Adrian, still in his Renegade uniform, a little bit sweaty and dirty, like every time he came back from patrol. His team was sweaty and dirty too, but none of them had the same expression Adrian’s face had.

He seemed weird. Different.

He would dare to say he looked hopeful.

And the moments where they just stayed staring at each other, probably waiting for the other to make the first move, Hugh couldn’t figure out the reason why.

***

Innocent.

She was innocent.

According to the Renegades, Nova Jean McLain was innocent.

They came to that resolution an hour and a half later.

When Adrian first told him Nova was innocent, he couldn’t understand what he was talking about, but Tamaya took control of the situation and immediately told Hugh to wake Evander up at the same time she told Adrian’s team to follow her.

Hugh didn’t kick the door down, but he did grab him by the ankles and made him wake up screaming.

Evander walked beside him, wearing a Blacklight t-shirt people sold at Cosmopolis Park and asking him questions about what was going on, but Hugh insisted he waited until the rest of them arrived because it was a delicate situation.

Extremely delicate.

So delicate, Hugh thought it would break like a roof made of glass and the sharp pieces would rain all over their heads, cutting their bodies like a piece of rotten fruit.

At the meeting room, Tamaya was talking to Kasumi over the phone they kept there in case of an emergency, and Adrian was gathered with his team. He was the only one who had bothered to pretend that he wasn’t worried at all because Oscar Silva and Ruby Tucker couldn’t stop throwing glances at each other, and Danna Bell shook her head every once in a while, saying something that sounded like “You’re making a mistake. You all are making a mistake.”

Oddly enough, he hoped she was right. He hoped Adrian and everyone who believed him was just making a mistake, so things wouldn’t get more complicated than they already were.

That was not going to look good for them.

Kasumi and Simon arrived ten minutes after Tamaya hung up the phone. Neither of them were wearing their uniforms or bothering to look at Hugh. Actually, Kasumi walked directly towards Tamaya to apparently ask her something (and Evander followed her because he was Evander), while Simon immediately went over Adrian, turned around the spinning chair he was sitting on, and hugged him, without caring a single bit about embarrassing in front of his team.

Adrian hugged him back. But then, he pulled him away to tell him he knew for a fact Nightmare was not Nova, but instead, Narcissa Cronin, Gene Cronin’s granddaughter.

Simon remained calm, and rubbing Adrian’s arms, told him that was a pretty serious accusation.

“But tell us all about it.”

And Adrian did. He and his team told them all about it.

Mostly him though.

He told them about them encountering Narcissa Cronin and that she explained her evil plans to them, in extreme detail. She planted evidence to make Nova seem guilty because, after the parade, she wanted to get the Renegades off her back, and Nova was the perfect person to incriminate for her crimes. She considered it her revenge against the Renegades for not doing anything when Ingrid Thompson shot the only family she had left, but after hearing a rumor of her execution, she realized she didn’t want Nova to die in the hands of the Renegades.

Not because she cared about her. She just had principles.

Or those were the words Adrian used, that made him question himself if he wanted to see her dead.

Because even when he gave Frostbite— or, Genissa Clark, permission to be the one to execute her, he still didn’t know if he did because he was sure it was the right thing…

Or because he was scared.

Which still— didn’t answer his question.

Do you really want to see Nova McLain dead?

He wasn’t sure about it.

Tamaya, on the other hand, was.

She didn’t want to see Nova McLain dead.

And apparently, neither did Kasumi and Simon, because as soon as Adrian finished telling his side of the story, they immediately started talking about removing all charges that had been filed against her to get her out of Cragmoor as soon as possible. Evander tried to interrupt them and insisted that maybe they needed to hear the rest of the team (who had barely spoken through the entire conversation), as well as to go to the scene to look for clues. Danna Bell agreed with him and tried to take the word, but Tamaya stated they didn’t need to hear anything else, because the more they stayed there, listening, the more time an innocent girl stayed in prison. When Evander tried to argue again, Tamaya looked at Hugh, silently asking him to support her.

The five members of the Council knew the glass roof they had been standing under for God knows how much time, had shattered completely.

The least Hugh could do was use his entire body to try to protect them from it.

So he agreed with Tamaya, and said, out loud, that Nova McLain was free of all charges.

Tucker and Silva smiled as soon as they heard him say that, and Bell just sighed. Adrian let out a “Yes!” under his breath and turned around to say, “Thank you.”

Evander just rolled his eyes and started playing with a pencil he found there, but Tamaya and Kasumi smiled at him, and Simon said, “No, Adrian, thank you.”

Before leaving the room with the rest of his team, Adrian cast a glance at Hugh.

But Hugh pretended he didn’t realize until Danna Bell told Adrian to keep going and he obeyed.

***

The Council stayed in the meeting room for a little while, to put all the cards on the table and make sure they understood each of the steps they had to take to get Nova McLain out of Cragmoor. Evander and Hugh were the only ones who didn’t participate in the conversation at all, but while Evander was doing it because he knew anything he had to say was going to be completely ignored and was mad about it, Hugh didn’t do it because he couldn’t take his eyes away from Simon.

Even if Simon wasn’t looking at him at all.

He talked with his hands. A lot. When they were teens, he remembered Simon constantly kept his hands in his pockets, especially when they were in public, so he wouldn’t draw any kind of attention to himself, and only dared to do it when he was at his house or very excited or sad about something. But now that he was an adult, he gesticulated even more, even during the most serious of conversations, with no shame at all. Hugh always had thought it was an adorable quirk of his, and being able to see him grow and embrace that part of himself (and get emotional when Kasumi pointed out Adrian was starting to talk with his hands too) felt like something very personal to him.

Every single thing that had to do with Simon felt so personal to him.

He wasn’t his other half. Hugh had once said that to him, and Simon confessed he found that “compliment” pretty problematic, and he couldn’t help but agree to him.

Simon was more than that. It was something so much more important, so much, that the way he scratched his beard, raised his eyebrows, and looked at the ceiling to try to remember the word he wanted to say, made him realize how much he missed him already.

He missed him already; and he was right there, inches away from him.

Home.

Simon was his home.

And his house wouldn’t feel like it if he arrived there without him.

So when Tamaya dismissed all of them, he decided to make something about it.

That night, he would go back to his house with Simon— or he was not going back at all.

Adrian was leaning against the wall, waiting for them while playing with his keys. His team was nowhere to be seen, which was completely understandable considering how late it was. As soon as he saw them walking through the door, he started to walk towards them, almost ignoring how Evander accidentally pushed him while trying to get out of there as soon as possible.

Then, he asked, “Are we going home now?”

And even if he was looking at Hugh when he said that, Hugh, instead of answering him, turned to see Simon. Not only because he knew that if he opened his mouth, the only thing that would come out of it would be… something not very nice about what he thought about Adrian’s behavior over the last hours; but also because, at that point, it all depended on what Simon had to say about it.

Even if he didn’t know it.

Simon.

Are we going home now, Simon?

But instead of answering the question, Simon smiled at him, and rubbing Adrian’s arms, told him, “I think Tamaya’s going to drop you at the house. You could do that, right?”

Tamaya and Kasumi were standing behind them. “Yeah, of course, I can.”

“Are you going to carry me in your arms and take me for a flight?”

“Funny. What about if you carry me, huh?”

“I can.”

“I cannot allow it though. It wouldn’t be very feminist of me.” Adrian laughed at her joke, and she pretended to act all cocky about it, brushing off her shoulders and trying not to smile. “Let’s go. Kasumi—”

“It’s all right. I arrived with Simon, my car’s here.”

Tamaya told her it was all right and then pointed at the elevator to tell Adrian they needed to get going. Both women started walking beside him, being slowly, but closely followed by Simon, letting Hugh standing where he was, probably waiting for him to follow them or—

Or maybe not.

But Hugh didn’t want to follow them.

He just wanted him.

“Simon—”

Adrian didn’t stop; the adults, however, did.

He was so happy, so relieved to see Simon turn around when he called his name, he didn’t even care that Tamaya and Kasumi also did it, with an expression on their faces he couldn’t tell what they meant.

That was enough for him to blur out his question.

“Can we talk?”

Simon slightly opened his mouth, but before saying anything, he turned to see his friends, for a reason Hugh didn’t understand (and didn’t bother to think about it).

Adrian called for the elevator, and realized, everyone was literally just standing there, without moving, and all their eyes were fixated on Simon. “Um… guys?”

Tamaya was the first one to come back to reality. “Wait for me in the car, Adrian, I’ll be there in a minute.”

He didn’t give it too much thought and nodded.

Simon still hadn’t said anything when Adrian left in the elevator. But now that his presence was gone, Hugh felt enough courage and serenity to— beg, he guessed.

“Please. Can we talk?”

Please. Please, please, please—

“Yes,” Simon said. “Yes, we can talk.”

He smiled. Just a little bit. Because Simon didn’t move towards him after he accepted. Instead, he stayed right where he was, as if he was in a line to get something from a store and if he moved, he was going to lose his place and the thing he had been waiting for hours to get.

After waiting for a good ten awkward seconds for Kasumi and Tamaya to keep walking, he realized they had no intention of doing so. And also, he realized that he didn’t want to talk with them either. Not at that moment.

At that moment, the only thing, the only person that mattered, was Simon.

“Could we… maybe go somewhere else more private?” he mumbled while scratching his eyebrow and trying not to make eye contact with any of the girls.

Simon clicked his tongue and glanced at Tamaya and Kasumi. “I’ll be back in a second.”

Or not.

The few instants they were walking towards the meeting room, Hugh looked at Simon’s hands, wondering when it would be the right moment to sneakily touch them, like he did when he was in love with him but still didn’t know it.

But Simon had his hands deep inside his pockets.

The only light that came into the room was the light of the few lightbulbs that illuminated the corridor; they turned off the majority of them during the night, not only because there weren't that many people around, but also to save electricity. Hugh entered first and Simon didn’t completely close the door behind him, only enough for no one to be able to see what they were doing in case some other Renegade was around there and walked past the room.

After that, Simon closed his eyes, grabbed tons of air, and then let it all go with a sigh. When he finally looked him in the eyes, Hugh realized it was the first time he did that after their fight in the kitchen.

And he realized all of that had happened in one day.

What a day. He bet they would remember it for the rest of their lives.

He hoped they wouldn’t. He hoped, and he hoped, even if his rational part told him it was not going to happen because memories didn’t work that way at all, but he kept hoping anyway, and started searching for the correct combination of words he needed for Simon to also forget about that day.

Hugh was willing to ignore everything they had gone through during that day. He would take Simon’s silence, words, and indifference, put it all inside a box, and then throw it at the back of his memories and never be opened again, if Simon was willing to do the same for Hugh’s cries, screams, and feelings.

He was even willing to let Simon stay mad at him for the rest of the night if that was what he needed. Yes, he could handle a night like that. He could be the one to stare at Simon’s back, for Simon to take a break from staring at his almost all the time they got into bed. He would do anything for him.

And he just wanted him to do one thing: to ignore everything that had just happened.

Forever.

While his mind was still trying to come up with how he was going to put all those thoughts into words, he caressed Simon’s cheek to buy himself a couple of extra seconds. But when Simon tensed and clenched his jaw, instead of tilting his head a little bit and putting his own hand over his, like he did every time Hugh touched his face like that, he knew there was nothing he couldn’t let more time go by.

Suddenly, his eyes were fixated on Simon’s lips. The same small, bitten, and dry lips he had contemplated for so many years, they felt like his own, and tasted like peppermint, a little bit of coffee, and sometimes even lavender.

When Simon opened them to speak, Hugh went from having absolutely no clue of what to do, to being absolutely sure of what he needed to do.

So he just did it.

He just placed his lips on top of Simon’s and kissed him.

At first, Simon didn't break the kiss. Instead, he went with the flow and kissed him back, as if he had been craving that kiss for months.

And he probably did. It was just that Hugh, suddenly, didn't.

Like. He thought he had. But now that he was there, with one hand holding Simon's head, and Simon's about to touch his hips, he started to feel like there was something very wrong with that situation.

But he was desperate. He wanted him back. He wanted him back and if that meant kissing him when he didn't feel like it, he was going to do it.

He would do everything for Simon.

He would never give up on him.

He just really wanted him to know that.

And really wanted to know if Simon hadn't given up on him either.

Simon kissed him one last time, raised his hands, put them on Hugh’s chest—

And pushed him away.

He pushed him away so suddenly, he tripped on his own feet and hit his head against the wall.

It didn't hurt though.

Still, the only thing he could answer to that, with Simon staring at him, realization dawning on his face, was a really fake:

“Ouch.”

Suddenly, Simon snapped. “What the fuck was that? Hugh, what the fuck was that?” he insisted. “Did you— do you really think that treating me as if I were a— a fucking animal, you're going to get something from me? Where do you think I have my brain? Huh? Where!?”

Hugh didn't respond. And Simon wasn't taking it. “Where?! Answer me! Where, where, where—”

Simon raised his hands above his head, and started pulling his own hair, hid his face with his arms, and just— broke down.

In a million pieces.

That was enough to make him flinch.

He preferred he pushed him again. Hell, Simon could slap him for kissing him without telling him he was going to do it first, and it would be much better than watching him suffer like that.

“Where, where—” he cried “—Stars, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for pushing you, it was— are you— I'm so sorry, lo—” and let out a loud sob.

Hugh kept gazing at his crying husband for a while.

“Do you really think that low of me?”

And kept pulling his hair. And his face remained hidden. His cries only became louder and louder, and Hugh didn't dare to move, much less to touch him, because even if he wanted with all his might to hold him and grabbed him by the wrists so he didn't continue hurting himself, he knew it would be useless.

Everything was useless.

“Stop that,” he finally dared to say.

He didn't say “No, I don't.”

He didn't say “Of course I don't think badly of you.”

He didn't even say he loved him.

He told him to stop.

Stop what?

“No, you stop!” Simon shrieked. “Stop whatever the hell you're doing, stop it. You're hurting me.”

Hurting.

You're hurting me.

He looked at his hands. Fortunately, they were completely dry and have not a single drop of chromium coming out of them.

But they felt as if they were on fire. And heavy.

Is that how they were supposed to feel when they were hurting someone?

And if they felt this heavy, and this hot, and this horrible, in how much heavy, hot, horrible pain could the other person be?

No, really: in how much?

How could you explain pain to someone who couldn't feel it?

“Why?”

And like an idiot, he asked back, “Why what?”

Simon removed his arms from his face and looked him dead in the eye for what he knew would be the last in time.

“Why do you have to make everything worse, Hugh?”

Hugh didn’t answer his question, and Simon didn’t answer his either.

A question he never got the chance to ask but was at the back of his mind.

Have you given up on me yet?

***

Hugh didn't come out of the meeting room until he was sure no one else was around. Until the elevator had gone and came back four times, and until his head felt so dizzy, he would faint if he didn't sit down.

He looked around, making sure nobody saw him, went to his office, and put a lock in the door. Hugh didn't want anyone to interrupt him. He had a lot of paperwork to do if he wanted to get Nova out of Cragmoor as soon as the sun came out.

***

It wasn’t the first time he had slept at his office. It had never been because he wanted to, but because he absolutely had to. Somedays, he would have so many responsibilities, that his normal working hours were not enough for him to finish them all. It was a little uncomfortable since the desk wasn’t the best place one could sleep on, and sometimes he didn’t have the energy to get up and go to Max’s quarantine room, to at least have the opportunity to sleep on a bed and an excuse to have a little more time with him.

Those nights, when he had to put his head on the desk and use his arms as a pillow, he would wake up and realized someone had put a blanket over his shoulders. And he always knew that someone had been Simon because the blanket smelled a little bit like him.

Even if Max’s quarantine area hadn’t been destroyed and he could go there to sleep, he wouldn’t have done it. Max wouldn’t be there. It wouldn’t be the same with him moving like he was possessed by a demon and kicking him in his sleep.

Which was something also Simon did.

The day Nova was released from prison, Simon stayed at Kasumi’s house. She didn’t comment anything about it and Tamaya had been the one who told him that the reason he didn’t come to work was that he had a headache. Hugh never asked her about it, but she informed him anyways. For some reason, he pretended not to be very concerned about it and just mumbled he hoped he felt better tomorrow.

When he woke up, after his second night of sleeping on his desk, he considered the crazy idea Kasumi and Evander had told him of getting sofas for each one of his offices; idea that he had brushed off because he thought they would only waste space, but now regretted he hadn’t listened to.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have an extra uniform for that day, so he just prayed the one he was wearing was clean enough for nobody to notice he hadn’t changed his clothes that morning, put on a lot of deodorant and cologne to hide the fact he hadn’t showered, and went out through one of the back doors, just to enter again a couple of minutes later through the front door, pretending he had just arrived from home and hadn’t stayed there all night.

As soon as he entered, he told Sampson if he could please notify him when Nova arrived at Headquarters. He didn’t ask for an explanation as to why he wanted that, but accepted anyway, clearly excited for having her back with them.

Hugh wasn’t… excited. Or happy, for that matter. Not that he wasn’t happy that she wasn't locked up anymore— of course he was happy she wasn’t locked up anymore.

What he was feeling reminded him more of when Simon, Evander, and he were playing a game they liked to call “Tag, you’re straight”, that consisted of the three of them throwing balls against a random wall at the same time, and then doing their best to dodge them while pushing the others so they get hit. Then, whoever got hit, would be smacked on the back of his head, and the other two would yell “Tag, you’re straight!”. It was a game he really liked and they kept playing even when they weren’t teens anymore, since in their family, bullying Evander was a great bonding activity, and “Tag, you’re straight” was the perfect opportunity to do so, especially because, as far as everyone knew, Evander was, in fact, straight, so that made everything ten times funnier when he got hit by a ball and got mad about it.

And yes, everything was fun and laughs, until Hugh broke a window, and a very angry Tamaya practically kicked the door down to ask them what the fuck had happened, yelling at the three of them for a good two or five minutes.

Even if Hugh had been the one who broke the window, everyone (even Kasumi, who was in the bathroom when the whole thing happened) helped clean up the mess and got cardboard to cover what now would be considered a hole in the wall, so the cold wind and dust wouldn't get in the house. It seemed like Tamaya had gotten a lot out of her system after yelling at them, because she chuckled at the jokes Evander and Simon made about the situation, saying that Hugh’s new power was turning straight everyone (and everything) he touched and that now the window was “one of them”. Hugh wanted to laugh too, but at the same time, he could only ask himself how she was going to react when she arrived home and realized what he had done.

And of course he wanted her to come home, as he always wanted every time she got out, to make sure she was still safe and sound, and so they could tell each other about their day and what they had done while the other wasn’t around. But now, he was also worried. And ashamed.

It was a combination of happiness, expectation, worry, and shame.

And he didn’t like it one bit.

So when Sampson let him know, after a while, Nova McLain was there, what he really heard, was Simon’s voice telling him she had arrived.

He knew it wasn’t the same person. But it felt pretty similar.

He made sure he didn’t look like a dead body before going to the first floor while making mental notes of what he was going to say to Nova.

Her situation had always been one that was pretty delicate, but now it had taken a new turn. A simple “I’m sorry”, with only those words, wouldn’t be enough for her, because it wouldn’t be enough for him either. He knew how Cragmoor was.

Hugh wanted— needed her to feel as if she belonged to the Renegades. Because, yeah, she did, but he knew that when she was back in her cell, she probably didn’t feel that way, and if he let this one slide, it would become a problem sooner or later.

Probably much more sooner than later.

It wasn’t like he was going to lie to her face or something; he just was going to point in the right direction. For her.

When the elevator doors finally opened, he spotted Nova surrounded by Adrian’s team (but no Adrian in sight). Silva and Tucker were smiling at her and touching her, but Bell, who was used to keep her hands to herself when it came to physical touch, just stayed there, watching her friends greet her without actually participating in the conversation that was happening in front of her. Actually, she was the first one to leave Nova alone after Silva said something about going out to eat (and Hugh could clearly listen to him because Silva didn’t know how to keep his voice down, so when he went to their house, he could hear everything he said to Adrian, even the most embarrassing parts), an invitation Nova rejected, even after they insisted her to got with them. Hugh decided to take that as an opportunity to talk to her.

Nova was a Renegade.

And the Renegades didn’t turn their backs on each other.

The feeling that he had just thought something pretty hypocrite started to creep at the back of his mind, when someone very small bumped against his chest, and before he could mumble a mechanic apology and keep walking, he realized that very small someone was Nova.

He had to think fast.

“Oops, sorry, Nova.”

He could call her Nova, right? Insomnia felt way too formal. And McLain seemed a little bit aggressive. Plus, she was Adrian’s girlfriend— or that was the last thing he had known about the topic. If they had broken up, Hugh would have probably received a memo or something. He didn't have Max or Simon with him to ask them about what they knew about it. They probably would tell him to go ask Adrian directly though, and that was something Hugh was not willing to do because he was still not talking to Adrian.

“Uh… hi,” Nova stammered.

Then, being completely aware he could break her hand’s bones if he grabbed her too hard, gave her a handshake as carefully as he could.

But still solid enough to show her he was being serious.

“I asked Sampson to let me know when you came in. I wanted to be one of the first to welcome you back to the team.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

He released her hand and stopped smiling.

The conversation couldn’t die there. He needed more.

“And I wanted to offer you a formal apology for this abysmal misunderstanding,” he added. “I’m ashamed to think how we treated you, as one of our own, when your loyalty and dedication has been so unwavering. It’s just…” What was the word? “all this turmoil that’s been going on lately, you know? The parade, Cosmopolis Park, the attack on headquarters, Ace Anarchy… sometimes I feel like we’re jumping through hoops set on fire, and every one of them is a little bit smaller. If we don’t keep ahead of all the threats and dangers, then one of these days, the whole thing will go up in flames.”

That was a good analogy. And he had just come up with that one.

Apparently, Nova thought it had been a good analogy too, because she chuckled and said, “Well, good thing you’re invincible, at least.”

“Yeah, I might be,” he shrugged, “but there are people I care about that don’t have that luxury, and I’m just doing what I can to protect them. I hope you understand that we did what we had to do, given the circumstances.”

The circumstances, he thought.

Nova had people she loved. Adrian had mentioned she had an uncle before, as far as he could remember. She had proved to be pretty passionate about the things she cared about, and he bet that she would do anything to protect the only family she had left.

The circumstances didn’t matter. They never mattered as long as the people one loved were safe.

She would understand.

She had to understand.

And fortunately, she did.

“Of course,” Nova answered, with a smile on her lips.

“Good.” Good. Everything was working out as he wanted to. “Because you are a part of the Renegades family now,” and he added, feeling a little too inspired, “and it’s important to me and all the Council that everyone here feels like they’re being treated fairly. That they are part of this team.”

You’re a Renegade, Nova.

And the Renegades don’t turn their backs on each other.

And as if Nova had listened to his thoughts, she lifted her chin and said, “I don’t blame you and the Council for what happened. You were given information and you had to act on it. I understand why you did what you did. But—”

Hugh had to use all his might not to growl or roll his eyes as soon as he heard that word.

He couldn’t appear too relieved because something was always going to get in the way.

“—I was surprised by the whole execution thing.”

Me too.

Honestly, me too.

“Yes…” he agreed, “it’s unfortunate that we… Well, I hate to think about what you went through.” Then, just to make sure the point was cleared, he quickly said, “But I am so glad it’s all worked out.”

Isn't it?

“Yes, it worked out for me, thankfully,” she answered, putting a lot of emphasis on “for me”, by slowing her voice “But I have to admit that I’d always wanted to believe the Renegades were, well, above capital punishment. To end someone’s life, giving them no possible chance for restitution, and to do it without even offering a fair trial, it seems—” she frowned and put her index finger in the space between her nose and her lips “—how do I say this? A little villainous.”

As soon as Hugh heard that, he chuckled.

Because telling her to stop talking back to him and go to her room was not an option, and he didn’t know what else to do.

“To be fair,” he mentioned, “we did believe you were Nightmare, and Nightmare did try to kill me.”

But most importantly, she tried to kill Max. And should probably go for Adrian and Simon next, if they didn’t stop her soon. Something he should be making sure they did, but couldn’t leave the conversation, because Nova still had a lot to say about the matter.

“I’m aware of that,” Nova agreed “but… don’t you think she would at least deserve another chance?”

During the whole conversation, he had tried to stay as impassive as possible, only showing the right amount of emotion on his features for him to be able to get his point across. However, he didn’t do a good job on that specific moment, because Nova’s tone quickly changed.

“Or, maybe not Nightmare, specifically,” she withdrew. “But think about it. I was in that prison—wrongfully, yes—but it still gave me time to think about my life and my choices, and to decide that, if I ever got out of there, I would do things differently. The Renegades have to be willing to look beyond the mistakes of the past and understand that people can change.” Nova shook her head. “And I’m not talking about the execution, either. I know you’ll never forgive Ace Anarchy for what he did, and maybe you’ll never forgive Nightmare, either—”

At least we can agree on that.

And the only reason they could agree on that, was because Hugh was hearing her words as if she were talking to him underwater, and instead of focusing on what she was saying, he could only focus on her gestures, her hands, and, for some reason, her eyes.

But weirdly enough, he only did it when she wasn’t looking in his.

“—But there are dozens of prodigies on that island, some who have been there for more than a decade. And yet—” she raised her finger “—we have no systems in place to see if they really are as dangerous as we think they are. To see if they deserve the punishment they’re receiving. Maybe some of them want to become useful citizens in this world;” she shrugged, “maybe some of them deserve that. But you want to strip their powers from them, without even giving them a chance to explain why they did the things they did or how they’ve changed in the years since. Many of them are still being persecuted for crimes they committed in the Age of Anarchy…” Nova clicked her tongue before asking, “I mean, didn’t you do anything during that time that you’re not proud of?”

Nova asking him something so directly made him realize his jaw had been clenched during the whole conversation with no apparent reason at all. Then, a lot of things he wasn’t proud of doing during the Age of Anarchy started to come to his mind, and he had to stop his brain from doing that, because if the memories kept running, they were going to get to a point of no return, and no one would like what they were going to see.

Because when he first did, something broke inside of him.

No. It didn’t break.

It died.

Something died.

“We did what we had to do to stop the villain gangs, to bring order and peace,” he answered. “We would do it again if we had to.”

He would do it again. Most of it.

Only most of it.

She arched an eyebrow. “Even if that meant doing things that you wouldn’t allow today as part of the Code Authority?”

He clenched his jaw again and pinched his lips, only that this time, he knew exactly why he had done it.

“Maybe some of those prisoners did things that were… justified, in some way,” Nova continued. “Maybe they stole things because there were no jobs back then. Maybe they fought against authority because authority abused and ostracized people like them. Maybe they would choose differently now, if we only gave them a chance.”

Give them another chance. Chances.

Nova seemed to be really interested in chances. But Hugh had learned that the world didn’t always give second chances to people, not even to those who deserve it the most, and the sooner Nova learned that, the less the world would hurt her.

He had to stop her right there before realization hit her in the face.

When his kids were little and did something wrong, he (or Simon) would kneel in front of them and make it clear why their behavior was wrong, so they knew exactly the reason they were being grounded. Now, Nova was not his kid, and especially, she wasn't exactly a kid anymore. But she was still young, and if he could do something to protect her, he would do it.

He couldn’t apply the same technique he applied with Adrian and Max. However, he could definitely show her the right path and hope she knew, it was for her own good.

And, again, she would understand.

She had to understand.

“Nova… I can tell you’re passionate about this,” he started, and clearly noticed how her jaw tensed too, “but… you have to understand that the people in that prison aren’t like you. You were innocent. You shouldn’t have been there in the first place. While they are criminals and villains, practically savages some of them.”

But to his surprise—

Nova didn’t.

“How do you know?” she spatted. “How many of them have you talked to recently? Or for that matter, how many of them ever received a fair trial?”

Hugh sighed and took a look at his surroundings. There were a lot of Renegades around them, pretending to be on their own thing, but clearly listening to the entire conversation for who knows how long.

He couldn't scream at them. Not again.

Nova, on the other hand, was also looking around but didn't appear as angry as Hugh was.

Maybe because she couldn't understand the severity of the conversation they were having.

“What are you suggesting?” he asked her, lowering his voice. Nova returned his attention to him. “That we postpone the Agent N reveal until we can… what, interview them?” then, he added, scoffing, “Or should we devote our resources to gathering evidence from ten years ago, all so we can prove what we already know? They are villains,” Hugh reminded her.

And in response, she reminded him, “I’m not a villain. But that wasn’t going to stop you from executing me.”

Hugh didn't doubt Nova's innocence. At least, not anymore. But, when she said it that way, she sounded so convincing and so sure of her words, that he wondered why he had thought she was Nightmare in the first place.

“And no,” Nova continued, “I’m not suggesting you postpone the reveal for a while, I’m suggesting you postpone it indefinitely.”

He stepped back, feeling shocked by the determination in her voice.

And her audacity.

That audacity.

Simon always said that one shouldn't be quick to judge other people's actions because there was always a reason why they were acting like that. Within those words (and Simon, always Simon) in mind, Hugh thought that there had to be a reason behind her audacity, and it couldn't be the one he was starting to think it was.

Nova didn't flinch at his reaction and continued to talk as confidently as before. “In fact, I think you should destroy Agent N. All of it. Along with any possibility that it could ever be re-created.”

Maybe it was resentment.

Maybe those were her ideas about good and bad.

Maybe it was that she was scared of losing her powers herself.

So he went with that, and recited the exact words he had been thinking about since Genissa Clark had been neutralized, and that he had been saying to each Renegade that expressed that very same concern. “If this is about what happened to Frostbite and her team, it’s important for everyone to know that we are working to ensure the safety of all Renegades—”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Nova interrupted him violently. “This isn’t about the patrol units or figuring out how to defend ourselves more efficiently or any of that” she clenched her fist, closed her eyes, and exclaimed, “The world doesn’t revolve around the Renegades!”

Suddenly, a shadow rose and turned into the familiar silhouette of the man who had used the exact same words years before Nova entered into his life.

Hugh (and the rest of the world) would’ve been able to recognize his face on any occasion. At first, the only thing that made him less afraid of him was the knowledge that, at least, he didn't know how his face looked like, because he always hid it behind a mask and that made him have something to use against him that couldn't be used against Hugh.

Now, he knew how his face looked.

Now they could be… considered equals.

Even if Hugh had promised himself he would never let the power corrupt him the same way it had corrupted him.

He was better than him.

He would always be better than him.

But since no one could be better than him, Ace Anarchy's silhouette looked at him, raised an eyebrow, and echoed, “The world doesn’t revolve around the Renegades. And the sooner Captain Chromium learns that, the less the world is going to hurt him and his cause.”

She shook her hands a little, but her eyes didn't open, and the shadow didn't disappear. “Isn’t it our responsibility to bridge the gaps between people?” she asked, more calmly than before. “To recognize that we all have to live in this world together? We need to start seeing other prodigies, not as villains, but as—” she blinked twice “—well, other human beings, who maybe aren’t so different from us after all. I want to believe that we can close this divide between us, but… Agent N isn’t the answer.”

Ace out his hands over Nova's shoulders.

“But that’s all the Anarchists have to say about the matter.”

And when their gazes locked, it hit him.

Someone was looking at him through Nova's eyes, and he immediately knew who it was because he recognized the feeling from when he looked at Adrian's and for those seconds he dared to do it, he didn't see his son, but her.

Through her eyes, he could see, for the split of a second, the man who had tried to stop Ace Anarchy even before they knew exactly how to do it. He saw the man who felt as if he had been a coward during all those years for staying by the Anarchist’s side, but in reality, was one of the best ones out of the bunch, because in the end, he had been able to have the courage to do what was right.

And she said that one cannot be brave who has no fear.

He wanted to get close to her. He wanted to kneel, grab her by the shoulders, and take a closer look at her, just to be completely sure he wasn't going crazy, because it for sure sounded crazy and maybe Hugh was indeed a little bit crazy, but he was also desperate enough to do all of those things he was thinking about just to get an answer once and for all.

But Ace's hands were still on her shoulders.

And she seemed so far.

And he feared it would happen again. Like when he saw Adrian's eyes, looking for her, just to realize she wasn't really there.

The Artino girl wasn't there either.

All the Artinos had been killed during that same night and nothing was going to bring them back.

“I know this is coming from a place of good intentions,” he stated. “I don’t expect you to understand the challenges facing our world of the difficult decision we’ve had to make, but I can assure you that none of our decisions have been made lightly.”

None of them.

Not a single one.

“I know that, but—”

“Everything the Council has done these past years has been in service to the people of this world who need our help, for protection and justice. I’m afraid this isn’t up for debate, Nova. Our decision regarding Agent N, and the fate of those villains, has already been decided.” But before Nova McLain could object, he sentenced, “And our decision is final.”

He turned his back on her before she could do it, and pretended he didn't notice she kept following him with her eyes until the elevator doors closed, and he leaned his back against the wall, doing his best not to start hyperventilating.

She didn't turn your back on you.

She didn't fail you.

She died.

She just died.

***

He stayed the rest of the morning inside his office after that, without (luckily) no one entering his office to ask him about anything. Not even Evander did it, and he had this horrible habit of just bursting into their offices to pretend he needed to seriously talk about something to ignore his own responsibilities. Hugh hated when he did that, so when he heard someone knocking on his door, he was ready to yell at Evander to get the hell out of his office, as if he were a seventeen-years-old teenager again, saying, “EVANDER, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!” (only that this time, Evander wouldn’t be able to answer him with “WE SHARE THE ROOM, YOU CAPTAIN CU-”)

But Hugh didn’t have to yell anything, because it wasn’t Evander. It was Tamaya.

And whoever dared to yell at Tamaya could consider themselves a dead man.

“I’m going to get some take out for lunch,” she said, leaning against the door frame, “you want me to bring you something?”

Tamaya was the one who went out to get the others lunch each time they needed because she was able to fly to the coffee shop and get there a lot faster than any of them could. She didn’t seem to have a problem with it, even though she did have a lot of problems with a lot of things, and people taking advantage of her powers were one of them.

Maybe she liked to feel useful. Or maybe something she just needed to get out of there every once in a while.

“No, I’m fine,” he answered her.

“Oh, you brought something to eat then.”

“Of course.”

Tamaya wasn’t convinced by that answer.

“What did you bring?” she asked.

Without hesitation, Hugh opened one of his desk’s drawers. Fortunately, there was a can of soda that he didn’t know how had arrived there, but he was glad it did.

He took it out and showed it to her, pretending to be super proud of himself or something, and Tamaya rolled her eyes. “Well— if you don’t want anything, I won’t bring you anything.”

“That’s literally how things are supposed to work.”

She was about to leave when she remembered something. “Oh, by the way— Kasumi wants us to have lunch together.”

Hugh couldn’t help but growl. “Why?”

“Because she says so,” she answered him. “So take your… soda, and meet us at the dining room in half an hour.”

Hugh just went back to what he was doing and told her he was going to be there. Tamaya didn’t say anything else.

The Council didn’t eat at the cafeteria with the rest of the staff. They had a private dining room on the same floor their offices were. The cleaning staff never went there, because the six of them took turns to mop and sweep, and the main unspoken rule was “If you spill it, you clean it”. It was like when they lived all together in one house and had to work as a team to keep it clean, which Kasumi said was nice and brought her nice memories, but most of the time, Hugh thought it was a pain in the ass, since, obviously, sometimes people didn’t respect the unspoken rule, probably because they knew that someone else would be the one who would clean it anyways.

Just like when they lived together.

Only that, now, that someone was Hugh.

The dining room was mainly used by him and Simon. Sometimes Adrian went there to have lunch with them, but lately, he preferred to do it with his team. It wasn’t very common for the Council to eat together, because each one had their own schedule. He didn’t know why Kasumi suddenly wanted to do it and he thought it was a little bit annoying she didn’t take into consideration that maybe the rest of them had other things to do, but at the same time, couldn’t find a good reason for him to say no.

When the half an hour Tamaya said went by, he walked to the dining room and saw Kasumi for the first time that day.

She didn’t greet him or anything. Evander was with her, chattering about something that he didn’t comprehend, and didn’t want to know about, so he sat down on one of the chairs and completely ignored their conversation until Tamaya appeared uncomfortably sitting down in the chair beside him.

She didn’t bring him anything. Anything at all.

And, well… yes, Hugh had told her he didn’t want anything; but he always told her he didn’t want anything and she brought him something anyway. When one of them forgot their lunch, Tamaya bought them a sandwich or a sushi roll and basically stayed there until they finished the whole thing, and since Hugh was the one who forgot about his basic human needs the most, he had a lot of recent memories of Tamaya watching him eat, like a mother making sure her kid eat all his vegetables (which turned even more accurate when Hugh informed her he didn’t like green peppers and she told him to grow the fuck up and eat the damn thing.)

The next thing he knew, was that everyone was sitting at the table, eating their respective lunch in complete silence. Tamaya had bought a gyro, Kasumi was having a bowl of rice and pasta salad she had brought from home and was drinking a white milky beverage that Evander got for her when he went to the taco stand Oscar Silva and Adrian had told him about.

“You know how many calories are on those things?” Hugh asked Evander.

Evander looked at him and pointed at the soda he was drinking. “Is that all you’re having for lunch?”

He remained silenced for a little. “No…”

Tamaya rolled her eyes and Evander scoffed. “Evander, chips and soda do not count as lunch, eat grapes, grapes are the chips of nature,” he said in a ridiculous voice that intended to sound like Hugh’s (and didn’t). Kasumi snorted and tried to hide it by drinking some of her weird water/milk, but wasn’t able to. “Come on, Kasumi, make the Hugh voice,” Evander told her.

Don’t you dare.

Kasumi didn’t dare.

“Maybe later, Vandy,” she said, with a serious face. “Maybe later.”

“Come on!” he insisted, after taking a sip of his drink (the same he brought Kasumi). “Zoomie, you make a pretty good imitation of Hugh.”

Tamaya nodded. It was true; Kasumi was pretty good at imitating voices. He just wasn’t in the mood to hear them make fun of him.

Luckily, Kasumi wasn’t in the mood for that either. “Evander, I said no.”

Her voice was so severe and chilling, that Evander understood immediately. Tamaya asked him for a napkin, and the whole dining room fell silent again.

And it was also like when they lived together.

It hadn’t always been like that though.

“You know, this is the first time in, like, five years, I don't have any paperwork to fill,” Evander announced.

Literally nobody asked.

“Well, I do have tons of paperwork waiting for me on my desk,” Tamaya said, “I wouldn’t mind sharing it with you.”

“That’s low, dude, I’m telling—” he frowned and looked around “—Wait… where’s Simon?”

And with that simple question, the room’s silence turned into a completely different type of silence.

One that he could not only feel, but also touch. One that made his vision blurry, a lump in his throat, and his eyes water. One that it was more like a fog than silence.

One that he could tell came from an imaginary fire that was so dangerous, he always shared a look with someone to make sure they were also aware of the situation they were in.

Only that this time, he didn’t share a look with anyone.

Tamaya and Kasumi did though.

And then, they turned to see Hugh.

But he didn’t turn to see them back.

“He wasn’t feeling well,” Kasumi said. “So… he stayed home.”

Evander arched his eyebrows. “Huh. Again?—” he turned to see Hugh “—Does he have a cold?”

“Evander—” Tamaya said.

“What? Dude, I’m literally just asking.”

“Well, don’t ask,” Hugh blurted out. “It’s not of your business.”

“But—”

“Not of your business,” then, he echoed, mockingly, “Dude.”

It’s not of anyone’s business.

He pretended he finished his soda and threw it in the can that was beside the water cooler close to the door. Even though the rest of them had just started eating, he saw no point in staying there longer than he already had. He had done enough by just being there for a while.

And he had other things to do.

Hugh excused himself and stood up. Neither Kasumi nor Tamaya said anything to him and just kept eating their lunches, probably because they already knew there was nothing that could be said.

But Evander didn’t know that.

So, before Hugh walked through the door, he said loud and clear:

“Someone didn’t get it last night.”

Kasumi got all pale and Tamaya started choking with her gyro. When they were able to recover from the initial shock, they cast an expecting and preoccupied glance at Hugh, waiting for his reaction for what felt like hours, and not seconds.

It took him a lot of time to process those words. He considered himself someone who reacted pretty quickly to everything, but the words Evander said to him were like freezing water, or a blow to the face, or…

Those things that would never be able to hurt him, but for some reason, if they were cold or powerful enough, would disorient him for a couple of seconds, before he would be able to get back up again and do something about it.

So at that moment, the only way he could react was asking him:

“What did you say to me?”

Evander raised an eyebrow and smirked. “I said you didn’t get it. You know”

But everyone pretended to not know what he was talking about.

Seeing they didn't react the way he expected them to, he frowned and clicked his tongue. “You didn’t tap that ass. You didn’t do the PP. He didn’t rub your silver spe—”

Kasumi got all red. “Evander—”

“I’m explaining it to him, I’m explaining it to him,” he told her as if trying to calm her down. “Let me finish the last one, I’ve been wanting to say that joke for months.”

Tamaya left her gyro on the plate and massaged her temple. “Evander, seriously, shut the fu—”

“Wait, no, I got this—” he chuckled, put his elbows on the table, closed his eyes “—Your hubby didn’t make love to you last night?” And then, after opening his eyes again, he added, “Darling.”

And with that, Hugh lost his head.

He went there.

He really went there, and the worst part was, he probably didn't even realize that.

He closed the door violently and screamed, “THAT'S IT.”

He threw himself at Evander before he could process what was happening. But Tamaya and Kasumi were a lot faster than him, and swiftly got in between the two of them, Tamaya grabbing Hugh by the shoulders and pulling him back, and Kasumi pushing Evander out of his way.

“BRO, WHAT THE—”

“I SAID IT’S NOT OF YOUR BUSINESS,” he yelled. “IT’S NOT OF ANYONE’S BUSINESS”

Tamaya and Kasumi finally managed to put them behind each of them, creating a weird barrier between the two. And even if they were almost as tall as the two of them were, they still weren't tall enough to completely block each other from the other's view. Hugh could perfectly see Evander paralyzed by his reaction, almost tripping with his own feet because of how much Kasumi kept pushing him and having to hold all of his weight on a chair to not fall backward.

But that still wasn't enough to stop him from shitting on him.

“WHAT’S YOUR DAMAGE!? DID YOU FALL OFF THE BED!? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.”

“Evander, lower your voice,” Kasumi urged him, “people will hear you.”

“Tell him to lower his voice!” he answered pointing at Hugh with the palm of his hand. “He started it! HE’S THE ONE WHO'S ACTING LIKE A FUCKING LUNATIC!”

Kasumi didn't agree with him directly. Instead, she turned around, looked at him from head to toe, slightly closing her eyes and pressing her lips, and before she even opened her mouth, he already knew he didn't want to listen to anything she had to say.

She hadn't listened to him first.

But now she was going to.

Everyone there was going to hear him.

“Hugh, I think—”

“Why did you tell him?” he asked.

Evander frowned even more. “Huh? Tell me what?”

But Kasumi barely moved.

“Why did you have to run to Evander and tell him about my personal life?” he kept asking her. “No, the real question is,” he scoffed, “why do you feel the necessity to get in my personal life, Kasumi?!”

Now it was Evander the one who carefully pushed Kasumi aside and put her behind him, but before he could scream at him or punch him in the face, knowing perfectly well that wouldn't do anything, Tamaya put his whole arm in front of him, giving him a deathly look, and Kasumi slightly touched his shoulder, completely poker-faced.

And for some reason that made him even angrier.

She had no right to act like she was the sane one in the situation.

“It’s not only your personal life,” she explained to him in a calm voice. “It’s also Simon’s. And I’m not getting into your personal life, he was the one who told us what was going on.”

“Us,” he echoed.

Tamaya let her arms down to her sides. “Yeah. Us. He told us everything.”

Evander didn't take her distraction as an opportunity to punch Hugh. “Everything?” he asked instead.

“Everything,” Hugh repeated.

But he wasn't answering Evander's question.

“Yeah, that’s great,” he said, faking a smile. “That’s fucking great. He went with you and talked shit about me behind my back.” The words were coming out of his mouth before he could question them, “What a great fucking husband he—”

“Do not finish that sentence,” Kasumi ordered him, giving a step forward. “He wasn’t talking shit about you, he was worried. Simon was worried sick about you. He is worried sick about you.”

“Why— why is he worried about him?”

Everyone ignored him one more time.

Hugh crossed his arms. “Well, he doesn’t seem like it.”

Tamaya massaged her temple one more time and sighed. “Maybe if you—”

“Maybe if I do what?” he interrupted. “Should I make the first move? I already tried it, and it didn’t work.” He tried to scoff one more time, but what came out of him sounded more like a growl. “You should know; Simon must have told you.”

“When—”

“Yes, he did,” Kasumi answered, shameless. She crossed her arms too and frowned. “That wasn’t right, Hugh.”

What do you know?

You weren’t there.

No one was there.

“No, everything was going fine.” He clenched his fists. “Look, I don’t know what Simon made you think, but we were fine.”

“Not kissing your husband for weeks and then trying to do it just to avoid talking with him about the issue doesn’t sound fine to me.”

Evander gasped. “Wait, you actually haven’t been getting it—”

Hugh laughed out loud, and even he could notice he sounded like an absolute maniac. “You too? You too are going to pull that card on me?” he questioned her. “I do kiss him, and I do hug him, and we do have sex, and I shouldn’t be telling you any of these things, because these are private details of my life you shouldn’t know about! My private life is completely okay.”

Tamaya took him by surprise.

“But are you okay?”

Her voice sounded so soft, so calm, and so genuinely concerned, that he didn’t dare to lie to her, or to even look at her when he answered:

“Again. Not of your business.”

After that, Tamaya was herself again. “Hugh, listen—”

And Hugh managed to get the courage to lift his face. “No, you lis—”

The entire room went dark before Hugh could finish talking. A pair of blinding white lights started shining right in front of him, and, even with his eyes slightly closed, he could tell they were coming out of Evander’s fists.

The spotlight wasn’t on him at that moment. So he decided to steal it.

Classic Blacklight.

Classic Evander Wade throwing a fucking fit when the world dared not to revolve around him for a minute.

After making sure he had grabbed everyone's attention, he opened his hands again and the tiny balls of lights returned to their light bulbs. But his face was still clouded by a strange darkness that even made Kasumi flinch and move backward towards Tamaya.

“What the hell is going on?” he asked, clenching his teeth and glaring at the three of them. “What the hell are you even talking about?—” and then, he turned to see him “—Why does everyone seem to know what the fucking problem is except me!?”

“…and she left me here!

ME!”

Him.

It was always him.

It hadn’t been enough for Evander that their lives practically had to revolve around him during all his childhood and teenage years. He now wanted them to stop their discussion and tell him what was going on as if they couldn’t have their own problems without him feeling he was entitled to know every single detail about it.

And hadn’t that been how that whole fight had started in the first place?

He hadn’t been able to control Tamaya and Kasumi finding out about what was going on because Simon had told him. But Hugh wasn’t Simon, and he was sure as hell he didn’t feel comfortable at all sharing that part of his life with him.

He wouldn’t understand. He would pretend he did for a couple of minutes, and then would use it against him on the first opportunity he had that would benefit him one way or another.

He knew Evander. He knew he was capable of that, and more.

“I think you should leave,” he told him.

His expression hardened. “I think you should answer my question.”

“I told you to leave!”

Hugh raised his arm to point at the door—

And Evander grabbed him by the wrist.

Kasumi’s eyes widened and Tamaya’s face contorted while her wings bristled, alerting her of the danger.

Hugh knew Evander was taller than him. At first, all of them made a lot of jokes about how it was Hugh’s worst fear and that he wasn’t allowed to stand beside him at any moment so nobody noticed it. But every one of those comments stayed like that.

Jokes.

Not only because, well, they were. But also because, inside his head, Hugh always saw Evander as shorter than him, probably because he had gotten used to the idea of things being that way, and he wasn’t in the mood for other detail of his life changing again, it didn’t matter how small it may seem.

Yet, now he couldn’t keep pretending he didn’t see what was right in front of him.

He could tell his hands were getting warmer and warmer, to a point that if he had normal skin and his suit wasn’t covering his arm, he would start to feel as if they were burning him, and Evander didn’t appear to have any intentions of letting him go.

As if he wanted to burn him to death.

He kept staring at each other, with a vein popping out of his neck. The corners of his lips curved up, but before it could turn into a grin, it disappeared, and instead of laughing, he ordered, “Don’t you talk to me like that.”

“Me.

She left me here, guys.

She left.”

“Evander, that’s enough,” Tamaya said, with a calm, but terrifying tone. “Let him go.”

But Evander only grasped him tighter.

Her fingers shone with the electricity they carried. “Let. Him. Go.”

He glanced at Tamaya, then at Kasumi, and finally, he returned his attention to Hugh, waiting.

Waiting for him to say it.

“She left.”

“Let me go.”

Evander pressed his lips together and lost his grip until his arm fell, and he sat down again.

“And for the record—” Kasumi’s voice said, “—Don’t talk to any of us like that.”

Hugh turned his back at them and took off one of his gloves as fast and discreetly as he could. He heard Kasumi asking something to Evander but she said it in such a low voice that the only thing he could actually listen was Evander’s childhood nickname, which Kasumi always used and Hugh didn’t because it felt so personal to both of them he didn’t dare to interfere with that.

His hands were dry. And he forced his eyes to stay that way too because he could sense them getting wet at the thought of Evander really believing Hugh was going to hit him.

He heard Tamaya’s footsteps getting closer to him, and he rapidly put his glove back on and turned to see them again, scoffing. “So, that’s what today is about? You collectively decided all you were going to do was contradict me?”

Tamaya stepped back the steps she took and scoffed too. “Sounds familiar?” she asked. Hugh couldn’t ask her at first what she was talking about. “You can’t ask us to blindly follow you b and get mad when we decide not to do it. Especially when the things you’re doing are—” she looked for the right words “—not right.”

Kasumi straightened her back and nodded, agreeing with Tamaya. Evander tilted his head to one side while raising one eyebrow, and Hugh fought the impulse of doing it too.

“What?” he asked instead. “Tamaya, what are—”

“I’m talking about the fucking execution of Nova McLain,” she blurred out. “That’s what I’m talking about.”

Evander growled and put his feet on the table, leaning in the chair he was sat on. He was so confused by Tamaya’s reaction he didn’t even bother to take the time to tell Evander to sit like an adult for once in his life.

“What does that have anything to do with what we’re discussing right now?” he exclaimed.

“It has everything to do with what we’re discussing right now!” she answered. “You, and you—” she pointed at Evander, and Evander pointed at himself, confused “—decided that, since you were too afraid of a spoiled girl ‘ruining’—” she made quotes in the air “—our reputation we were going to let her kill, in front the entire city, a child. A child, guys! A child who probably had parents who worried about her, just like you, Hugh, worry about your kids, or you, Evander, will worry about yours when they are born. Would you like them to be publicly executed without a proper trial just because the adults that were supposed to protect them, acted as the children in the situation?”

But before Hugh could tell her his kids would never act like Nightmare, more than comfortable with the idea of pretending as if the whole Max and Adrian situation hadn't happened, he heard it again.

But this time it was not a quiet chuckle.

This time, Evander was shamelessly chucking so loud, it almost sounded like a burst of laughter.

Tamaya was talking about Nova McLain’s situation and Evander was chuckling.

“Child?” he asked, trying to contain his laughs. “Nightmare is not a child. Children do not do the things she did. Children don’t try to overthrow—” he turned his hands into fists and glanced up to the ceiling for a couple of seconds, and then added, to no one in particular “—Children do not try to kill other children. She wouldn’t have tried to kill Max, or Adrian, or his team if she were truly a child because she would see herself in them. That’s just how things work.”

Inside his head, maybe.

But Evander had a lot of things inside his head and most of them were so twisted Hugh couldn’t tell what he truly believed and what he did not.

“Genissa Clark is nineteen,” Tamaya reminded him. “And Nightmare, as far as we know, it’s sixteen. They’re still children.”

Evander rolled his eyes, smirking for a microsecond. “Age doesn’t matter. What matters is this—” he tapped his temple “—the head.”

Out twisted and merciless heads.

“If they act like adults, they deserve to be treated as adults.”

“No,” Kasumi said, playing with her fingers. “No, they don’t deserve that. They don’t deserve anything that happened to them. Children…” she raised her head “children are never to blame.”

But, instead of looking back at her, Evander rolled his eyes once more and crossed his arms.

Like the child he still was even if he always acted he was not.

“They may not be kids anymore, but, stars, you’re acting like one,” Hugh quipped.

He immediately put his feet on the floor and his jaw clenched. “I’m no longer nine years old, Hugh.”

Yes.

Yes, you are.

You’ve done nothing to prove me wrong.

Hugh didn’t have the opportunity to say anything though, because Kasumi put herself between Hugh and Evander once again, with her hands in her hips, and clearly said, “I wasn’t going to attend the execution.”

He froze. “You what?”

“Neither was I,” seconded Tamaya.

Hugh gazed at them, without being able to recognize their faces behind that proud expression they had all over them. “Why the fuck not?”

Kasumi scowled and rubbed the fingers of her right hand as if she wanted to snap them but didn’t, closing her eyes and keeping her head low. Tamaya instantly noticed that, and after throwing a quick attentive glance at her, her eyes bared into him.

“Because it was a monstrous and villainous thing to do,” she answered, barely opening her lips. “And the Renegades are not that.” She put her hand on her chest. “I’m not a villain, and I’m sure as hell I’m not a monster either. And I’ve spent too much time hating myself to let you or anyone allow those toxic thoughts to win.”

He looked over Tamaya’s shoulder to have a clearer vision of Kasumi. “And you? You agree with this?”

“Leave her her alo—”

“Yes, I agree,” Kasumi answered, without opening her eyes.

That was enough for him.

“So— are you insinuating I am a monster and a villain?” and he put his hand on his chest, the same way Tamaya had just done.

Kasumi stopped rubbing her fingers and saw him out of the corner of her eye.

“Take it as you want to take it,” Tamaya declared, crossing her arms. “I’m not surprised you’re trying to make it about yourself.”

“You know what? Yes!” he barked. “This is about me! I’m the one who's getting totally dragged right now, I’m the one you're criticizing, and I’m the one who’s getting attacked by all of you!” and he pointed at the three of them. “So yeah, this is about me, Tamaya, not about you!”

As soon as he said it, he knew what was coming next. He knew what Tamaya was going to do. She was going to spread her wings, close her fists, and get a lighting bolt for her to throw at him. Then, she would get so close to him, he would see the anger glowing in her eyes, and she would proceed to yell at Hugh for five minutes nonstop, and when Kasumi or Evander was able to make her keep quiet for an instant, he would start yelling back at her, and they would get trapped in an endless cycle, where neither of them knew when to shut their mouths and give up.

And he knew it because there had been times where the only thing the two of them did was fight, and yell, and try to silence the other by making sure one’s screams were louder than the other’s.

However, Tamaya didn’t do any of that.

Tamaya’s mouth fell open and was unable to say a single word while she stepped back, and leaned against the table because she wasn’t able to sit in a chair without feeling extremely uncomfortable.

Her silence was worse than her screaming.

He needed to fill the silence in one way or another.

“Why won’t you listen to me anymore?” he asked the rest. “Why don't you respect me, or my privacy, or my decisions? Do you think it’s easy? Do you think it’s easy to have this weight on my shoulders?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “No, it’s not. But I man up, I shut my mouth, and do it, you know why? Because we stopped playing superheroes a long time ago, and now we’re governors, and I don’t want us to fail, which is something the Anarchists would love to see—” he extended his arms, like pointing at the rest of the world, when in reality, he was just pointing at the small room that seemed even smaller than before “—Tell me, do you want us to fail?”

This time, he did want an answer. He did give them the time to respond, but they didn’t take it. Tamaya stayed in complete silence, Kasumi started rubbing her fingers again, and Evander just turned redder and redder with each word he said.

“Do you want us to fail?!” he insisted. “DO YOU?!”

Still, no answers.

“You don’t, do you?! YOU DON’T!”

Silence.

Silence and Kasumi covering her ear with her fists.

“YOU DON’T! So—” he pointed at Evander, “—man up—” at Tamaya, “shut your mouth—” at Kasumi, “and listen to me!” And finally, at himself. “Because I am your leader! I AM YOUR CAPTAIN! AND YOU’LL DO AS I SAY!”

His yelling immediately was cut short by the sound of the tap of the water turning on savagely and the screeching sound of Kasumi asking:

“WELL, WHO MADE YOU CAPTAIN?!”

The water in the room started to go crazy. Not only the taps had opened, but also her drink was spilled all over the floor, small drops started to float around them, and the water inside the cooler became a strange swirl, that with each passing second just turned faster and faster.

And Kasumi was crying.

Or something like that.

It was water. They seemed like tears, but they were actually water that was coming out of her eyes, without any emotions in them. Her face, which at this point was soaked, didn’t change at all, as if it had changed if she were really crying.

Still, Hugh felt it like a slap across his face.

Evander was the first one to react. “Kasumi—”

“WHO MADE YOU OUR LEADER?!” she rasped. “WHO, HUGH?” and she grabbed him by the shoulders “WHO?”

The floor started to flood. Tamaya got on the table and moved her eyes from one side of the room to the other, trying to process what was going on in front of her, while Evander stood up in the chair he was sitting on. “Kasumi Hasegawa—”

“IT WAS US!” she answered, letting go of him and stepping back. “IT WAS US AND WE CAN TAKE YOU OFF THAT POSITION AS EASY AS WE PUT YOU THERE! SO CUT. THE. CRAP!”

“Zoomie!”

The cooler felt down on its side. If Tamaya hadn’t moved slightly to the left, it would have hit one of her wings. The sound of the heavy metallic object crashing against the floor was enough to make everyone in the room go quiet, and their eyes fixated on the water that was coming out of it.

Like blood in an open wound.

He was the last one to come back to reality, after the water started to disappear right in front of his eyes, and realized Kasumi was manipulating it to form a small wave that she dropped in the sink.

She closed the taps and sighed.

“You’re… you’re not acting like a leader right now,” she mumbled, leaning against the sink without looking at him. “You’re… you’re acting like… like—”

“Like what?” he asked.

As if he wanted to hear the answer to it.

“I don’t know— You’re just…” Kasumi turned around and the water running down her face was actual tears this time. There was no sadness clouding her features that was able to hide that fact. “You’re just not my friend.”

She looked at her own feet while walking towards her the things that remained on the floor. Tamaya grabbed the plastic cup of water she had been drinking from, and even though she took it (because Kasumi liked to reuse those things) she didn’t say thank you or acknowledge her gesture, and instead, kept talking to Hugh.

“We’re not your sidekicks. We’re not even your coworkers or your employees. We are your family. We are all a family. But somehow— you forgot it.”

She grabbed her small fabric bag and started to put all her things in there, with the rest of them quietly watching her, without daring to get close.

“I’m going to ask the three of you, but especially you, Hugh, to leave me alone.”

Before Kasumi left the room, Evander got down from the chair and rushed to her. She stopped in her tracks and pressed her bag against her chest. A small tear started to come out of the corner of her eye and her lower lip trembled. He extended his hand to wipe away her tears, and Hugh suddenly felt the urge to look away.

Until Kasumi stepped back, rubbed her eyes with one hand, and mumbled: “I said the three of you. Please, respect my decision, Evander.”

Kasumi walked out of the room, without closing the door behind her. Evander followed her, but stopped right under the door frame, grabbing to it. He glanced at Tamaya, and she, almost imperceptibly, shook her head saying no to something he was silently asking her.

His eyes didn’t well up. Instead, after a blink, they turned to see Hugh, burning and glimmering an emotion he could not describe as something else but hate.

His eyes were burning and glimmering with hate.

And his words too.

“This is all your fault.”

He walked in the opposite direction Kasumi went.

I know.

This is all my fault.

“Kasumi was right, you know?”

Tamaya was the only one remaining.

“You have acted like the biggest idiot that has ever existed,” she continued. “I don’t know how you’re going to fix this and I don’t know how you’re going to fix yourself.” Her expression dulled and she slightly bent down to try to look him in the eye. “But we are your family. And you are ours.”

Hugh ignored her attempts to make eye contact and felt his hands getting moist and hot under his gloves.

But he couldn’t decide if tell her or not, because Tamaya sighed, grabbed the rest of her lunch, and without turning to see him, sentenced:

“Talk to us when you start acting like it.”

And just like that, Hugh was left alone in an empty room, again.

***

Everything had started two months ago.

It wasn’t like there weren’t somedays where they didn’t have sex. After all, they were part of the Renegades Council. The days were long, and there were occasions when they just arrived at the house and went directly to bed, without eating dinner or anything.

Despite that, they had managed to keep a certain schedule. And if he wanted to be completely honest, those days when he could have a little time alone with Simon were the best.

Until they weren’t.

“What’s going on?” Simon asked suddenly.

“Huh?”

“What’s going on?” Simon asked again.

He wasn’t mad at all. He was genuinely concerned.

It was… adorable. So Simon.

“Everything all right?”

Hugh knew something was wrong. But he felt a little bit embarrassed about backing down with something he had started.

Which was… weird.

Because nothing was embarrassing with Simon.

“Hugh—”

“I think I’m no longer in the mood to keep going,” he blurred out.

Simon’s eyes widened. He licked his lips, like he did every time he was analyzing a situation, and smirked. “You aren’t in the mood? You? You, Hugh Everhart, aren't in the mood for sex?”

Hugh couldn’t laugh at the stupid face he had made. “No.”

Luckily, Simon noticed that. “Oh. All right. Well, don’t worry, love. It’s okay.”

“I’m so—”

“No, don’t be sorry,” he interrupted him, using the same tone Hugh used all the time when they were younger to tell Simon not to be sorry. “There’s no need to apologize.” He ran his hand through his hair and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “I’m just— going to the bathroom—” he grabbed the pile of clothes he had left on the nightstand “—I won’t take long.”

Hugh couldn’t tell if he took long or not. He just put on his clothes again too and got under the covers. He didn’t even turn around when Simon asked him, “Do you wanna be the little spoon tonight?”

He was never the little spoon. But he accepted anyway.

There were a lot of other nights that ended up that way. Nights that Hugh started something just to follow the schedule, things that they never finished because Simon always noticed something was wrong and said they should stop. Then, he kissed him, told him there was nothing to be sorry about, went to the bathroom to change, and went back to be the big spoon.

Until one day, Hugh fell asleep in a position that didn’t allow Simon to cuddle with him. Or at least he pretended to fall asleep to avoid any questions as if why he didn’t want to cuddle that night.

He couldn’t avoid any questions the next morning though.

When he went downstairs to have breakfast, Simon was waiting for him in the kitchen.

“Glad you’re here so early,” Simon said. “We need to talk.”

It was Saturday. Simon was wearing his cotton rob and had prepared an avocado toast and a cup of coffee.

Just the mere fact of him drinking coffee, plus the “We need to talk” phrase, was a bad sign. Not only because Simon got really anxious when he didn’t control how much coffee he drank, but also because the last time he had told him they needed to talk, was when he found some not very family-friendly videos on the family’s computer and thought that it would be better if he asked Hugh if they were his first because he didn’t want to accidentally introduce Adrian to that kind of… audiovisuals.

Stars…

That day had been one of the worst days of his life. And Hugh had fought a civil war. The bar for “bad days” was pretty high, but Adrian still managed to go higher than that.

“What did he do now?”

“Oh, God, no— Adrian’s clean. He’s still sleeping, actually,” Simon responded, completely aware of what Hugh was talking about. “But that’s why I want to talk to you before he comes.”

Hugh felt a little bit less tense. A little bit.

He took the coffee pot and started pouring it on the first cup he found. “What do you wanna talk about?”

Simon drummed the fingers of his right hand on the bar and scratched his beard with his left hand, staring at his unfinished breakfast. “Love… are you having problems?”

“Problems?” he scoffed. “What kind of problems?”

“Oh, you know… problems… down there.”

He lost focus and he poured the coffee on his hand. “Shit—”

“Look, it’s just that I think it’s kind… strange what has been going on these last days,” Simon said without noticing the whole coffee situation. “We— we had a schedule, and now we don’t, and I’m not mad at all, I just want to know if there’s something more to it.”

Hugh left the coffee pot where it belonged and Simon kept talking.

“You should— we should go to see a doctor,” he whispered. “I know you have never had an appointment with a doctor before, but we could… I don’t know, ask around, until you find one that makes you feel comfortable.”

And he would have probably kept talking if he hadn’t interrupted.

“It’s more common than you may think, you know,” he assured him. “And there’s nothing wrong with it. Everyone once in a while has— you know, some kind difficulties, or it hurts, or—”

“No.”

Simon suddenly went silent. “No what?”

“Nothing hurts,” he answered. “I literally cannot feel pain, remember?”

“Oh, no, I mean, of course I remember,” Simon mumbled. “It was— it was just an expression.”

Hugh frowned. “I’ve never heard that expression before.”

Neither of them said anything for an uncomfortable amount of time, while Hugh stirred his coffee with a plastic spoon and Simon pretended he was really focused on his breakfast.

“You didn’t answer my question though,” he said after a while. “Are you having any kind of problems?”

Hugh gave him the same answer. “No.”

“All right. I believe you. And I trust you. You know I’ll always trust you, don’t you?”

When Simon said he trusted him, Hugh usually responded to him saying he trusted him back. But this time, he said, “As you should.”

At that moment, Adrian walked into the dining room, letting them know their conversation had come to an end.

Hurting.

What a strange word.

He couldn’t comprehend it. And he’d never liked things that he couldn’t comprehend.

Nevertheless, even if he had lived his whole life hating things he couldn’t comprehend, now he didn’t understand why he felt so attacked by the way Simon formulated his question. The rational part of him knew he had no intention of making him angry, but his emotional side got angry at him anyway. He got so angry, he dedicated the rest of the day to ignore him.

And things didn’t change after that conversation. They just got worse.

So much worse.

Hugh didn’t even bother anymore to make the first move. He slept turning his back on Simon, so he could make clear he didn’t want to be touched at that moment. But sometimes, Simon didn’t understand (or pretended he didn’t understand) his signals, and asked him in a thousand different ways if that was going to be the night everything was going back to normal.

“How are you feeling, love? Are you better now?”

“How about we try something new today?”

“Hugh, are you awake?”

“Hugh, love, please… answer me”

But Hugh never answered him. Not with anything else but “Fine”, “Other day”, “No”, or just silence. Because sometimes silence counted as an answer.

And sometimes it was the loudest of sounds.

He was already ready for bed. He had brushed his teeth, had put on his pajamas, and had gone downstairs to make sure Adrian was still breathing, being especially careful not to wake him up.

Fifteen minutes had passed since that, and he was still standing up next to the bed, without feeling like getting in yet.

Then, he realized they hadn’t made the bed since the day of the fight. The coverlet was almost touching the ground and the pillows were everywhere except where they were supposed to be. He felt a strange energy going through his body, that ordered him to get closer and start making the bed.

No one liked to sleep on an unmade bed anyways.

However, the moment he started doing that, he made the mistake of graving Simon’s pillow. And Simon’s pillow made the mistake of smelling just like him, and the smell of mint, fabric softener, hit and the citrus body lotion he used was so intense, it made him feel, even if it was for a couple of seconds as if Simon were there.

That feeling lasted, at least, five seconds. And when he tried to smile, he started crying.

Because that pillow wasn’t Simon. Because Simon was not there.

Because Simon had left. He really left.

Without letting go of the pillow, he sat on the cold and hard floor. His elbows accidentally hit the nightstand he had next to his side of the bed, making the lamp and the couple of glasses he never returned to the kitchen tremble a little, but he wouldn’t have cared less if they fell to the floor and broken.

It wasn’t like they could cut him or anything.

He smelled the pillow one more time, and it was more than enough to make Simon’s ghost appear a couple of feet away from him, with empty eyes and a serious face, asking the same questions over and over again.

Why don’t you ever touch me anymore?

Why am I always invisible to you, even when I’m not?

Why are you so fucking cold all the time?

Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?!

“Because I don't even know what is wrong with me,” he finally answered.

Simon’s ghost didn’t ask what he meant. After all, even if he did and Hugh answered him, he wouldn’t have understood.

In fact, he knew Simon hoped he never would.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t attracted to Simon anymore. No, it was not that. For him, Simon was the most perfect man he had ever seen in his whole life. He loved his voice, soft like velvet. He loved his hands touching his skin. He loved his eyes that looked at him with adoration, and he loved his body, toned and covered in body hair, that used to make Simon feel self-conscious, but that Hugh had always found really appealing and he made sure to remind him that in every opportunity he had.

Simon had not a single flaw because he was perfect for him.

But when the darkness filled the room and he stretched out his hand to touch him…

It was like something fell upon him. Something so heavy and so big, he couldn’t get rid of it, not even using his powers at their maximum capacities. It didn’t let him move, it didn’t let him speak, and the only thing he could do was to soldier on, praying to a God he wasn’t sure it existed, asking him to please take that weight off him when the sun came out because if he didn’t do it, Hugh would have been capable of staying there for the rest of his days.

Completely still. Without any strength to move his head or change into a more comfortable position. Letting his body get all dusty as if he were part of one of those sets of furniture that they kept in the guest’s rooms that were never used because no one visited them, other than the rest of the Council.

Now, he didn’t know if it was God the one that took that weight off him, but he did know that as soon as the sun started to come out, the weight became lighter and lighter until it finally disappeared and Hugh was able to move again. He dusted off his whole body, prepared to go to the Headquarters, and put on his best face to convince others (and himself) that he wasn’t tired at all.

It had been a long time since the last time Hugh was able to sleep comfortably. He would say it was something that affected him even before his whole… situation with Simon. It had been going on for years. Adrian was still a kid when it all started.

“You should pop some pills or something,” Evander told Hugh when he dared to look a little bit more tired than normal. “You know— to help you sleep.” He clicked his tongue. “After the Day of Triumph, I began to take some sleeping pills, and they helped me a lot.” But before Hugh could ask him why he needed to take sleeping pills, Evander grabbed the folder where the documents he had asked him for and walked to the door, not without patting him on the shoulder first. “Maybe they can help you too.”

There was no need to say Hugh didn’t listen to him. Not only because Evander’s advice wasn’t always the best advice someone could receive, but also because there was something about taking pills he didn’t like at all.

Besides that, it wasn’t like Hugh could take any pill he wanted. They needed to have a strong effect or he would have to take more than one at a time. And Simon already needed to take pills to help him control his anxiety and went to therapy every two weeks.

He hated to say it, but it was a lot of money. It was not worthy. Simon had it worse than him, he needed those pills and those therapy sessions.

Hugh didn’t.

So, yeah, he didn’t listen to Evander. Neither did he listen to Kasumi when she gave him the same recommendation, and couldn’t contain his laugh when she suggested he should do some yoga. He also got into a big fight with Tamaya when she pointed out something was wrong with him, even though the reason that made her think that was that Hugh had broken one of the cupboard doors and was going around looking for something to eat without noticing at all he had destroyed his perfectly designed kitchen.

As time went by, going to sleep became like playing Russian roulette. He never knew if that night he was going to be able to go to sleep or not, but it wasn't like sleeping made a huge difference because each morning he woke up feeling tired anyway.

Probably, the only difference between sleeping or not, was that when he didn’t, when he stayed up all night, all he could see were ghosts.

During his childhood years, Adrian developed a huge fear of ghosts. Adrian was afraid of so many things Hugh couldn’t name each and every one of them, but he did know ghosts were very high on the list. He woke up in the middle of the night all the time, and the most common excuse he gave for his behavior, was that he was afraid the ghosts of the people who were murdered in that house would suddenly start hunting him.

Hugh didn’t believe in ghosts and he didn’t think Adrian should do it either. But when he started to see his own ghosts, he stopped complaining each time Adrian woke him up, asking him, “Daddy, can I sleep in your bed tonight?”

Of course, he didn’t see the same ghosts Adrian thought he saw. Hugh’s ghosts were completely different.

Sometimes, it was a man, who despite his young age, he appeared to have lived a thousand years. He had deep circles under his blue eyes and the saddest smile it had ever existed. Occasionally, he was accompanied by a woman, with long and dark hair, who carried in her arms a chubby and loud baby that cried each time she felt her mom wasn’t close enough to her. And most of the times, they also brought with them a little girl, that got between the sheets at the same time Adrian did, and that each time he got closer to Hugh to ask him if he could cuddle him until he fell asleep, he felt as if he were hugging the dead body of that tormented soul, asking him why he didn’t arrive on time.

Hugh didn’t like other people’s kids. Especially if those kids liked to meddle in his business.

So one of those nights, he locked the door. That way, no ghost was going to enter his room.

And neither would Adrian.

That night, he was starting to kind of fall asleep, after spending hours looking at the window, when he heard a couple of small hands trying to open the bedroom’s door. For a second, they stopped, trying to process why it wasn’t opening as it should. Then, they tried again. When they failed a third time, Adrian started bawling.

Simon woke up immediately.

But Hugh wasn't surprised at all.

“Adrian…” he mumbled. “Adrian, hold on, I’m coming!”

He removed the covers so quickly, he punched Hugh on the face, waking him up completely. He tried to open the door the same way Adrian previously did, but the panic he was feeling at that moment didn’t allow him to process why the door wasn’t opening, and just made his anxiety levels go to the roof.

“Hugh… Hugh, the door,” he mumbled. “The door’s— the door’s not opening, help.”

But he didn’t help.

Not because he didn’t want to. He wanted to help him. He wanted to tell him to calm down, and that the door was just locked.

But there was something on the sound of Adrian’s cries and the way Simon called his name that made the weight on his chest start to choke him.

Really choke him.

“Hugh! The door, please.”

“DADDY! DADDY, LET ME IN, DADDY, LET ME IN!”

“Aren’t you listening to me?! Wake up! Wake up and help me, Hugh!”

“LET ME IN, DADDY, PLEASE!”

“Hold on just a second, darling,” Simon squeezed. “Hold on just a second— HUGH, FOR FUCK’S SAKE, COME HERE AND HELP ME!”

“DA— DADDY, PLE— AAAAH!”

First, he heard something getting violently hit. Then, complete silence. And finally, Adrian started crying again.

When Simon turned on the lights, Hugh was able to turn around to see what was happening.

Apparently, Simon had kicked the door down, and Adrian had been fast enough to get away from it before it punched him in the face...

Bit he still got hit on the forehead pretty hard.

“Oh, Adrian, dar—”

“DADDY! POPS HIT ME! HE HIT ME!”

“DARLING, I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, FORGIVE ME!”

Hugh rubbed his eyes, annoyed at the sudden change of light in the room. He noticed Adrian was wearing the blue pajamas Kasumi had brought him during his ninth birthday and was holding the Baby Indomitable blanket.

The blanket she had made for him.

Simon kneeled in front of Adrian and grabbed him by the cheeks. “We need to take him to the hospital,” he said. His eyes were all watery and his voice broke. “We need to take him to the hospital,” he repeated with more emphasis. When Hugh didn’t respond, his worried expression turned into one of pure angriness. “Fuck, Hugh, why did you lock the door? WHY DID YOU LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR, HUH? WHY?”

For some reason, the weight that was suffocating him decided that was a good moment to let go of his throat for a second, just for him to give Simon a reason why. And the only thing that came out of his mouth was:

“Adrian is too old to be sleeping with us every night.”

Adrian started bawling again, and Simon realized going to the hospital was going to take too much time, so he took his son in his arms, and went downstairs to call Tamaya’s husband, Owen, the only doctor they truly trusted.

When Simon got out of the room, he didn’t turn off the lights. Hugh got up to do that, but in the end, decided it would be more appropriate to go with his husband and kid, in case they needed anything.

In the kitchen, Simon was holding Adrian with one arm and holding the phone next to his ear with the other. After a long wait, he hung up, ready to start yelling and punching the first thing (or person) he saw.

Luckily, the first one who noticed Hugh was there, was Adrian.

He had a big bump on his forehead.

“Give him to me,” Hugh whispered. Simon (who was dialing the phone one more time) doubted for a second but finally accepted. “How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts,” Adrian whispered.

There it was again. That word.

He sat him on the kitchen bar. “Of course it does, buddy. Do you want some juice?”

Adrian nodded. “Can I have apple juice?” he shyly asked.

Hugh looked for it inside the fridge. “We only have strawberry juice,” he said.

“I like strawberry juice too.”

“Good.”

He took two strawberry juice cartons and gave him one. At that moment, Simon pointed at the phone with a hopeful and scared expression, and said, “Tamaya, I almost ripped Adrian’s head off, I need your husband.”

While a really confused Tamaya asked Simon what the hell did he mean with almost ripping Adrian’s head off, Hugh sat down on one of the stools, right in front of his son. He had his legs crossed and was drinking his juice, moving his head as if he were listening to a happy melody.

“... and accidently hit him with the door,” Simon said to the phone. For his change of tone, Hugh could tell he was talking to Owen too (he knew Tamaya well enough to know she was still listening to everything that was going on after putting the phone on speaker). “No, he didn’t lose consciousness, he just… cried a lot… he’s—um, actually kind of hungry right now. Yeah, he’s… he’s drinking some juice. Um… let’s see— Adrian, darling.” Adrian turned around to see him. “Do you know what day it is?”

“Um… Sunday.”

“Great job—” he returned his attention to the call “—He doesn't seem disoriented either.”

Hugh paid a little bit more attention to the nasty bump Adrian had on his head. He didn’t dare to touch it for fear of hurting him more, but a part of him remembered having seen someone wrapping a bag of frozen peas on an old cloth and putting it on the injured area.

So he did that too. He just changed the bag of frozen peas with the strawberry juice carton.

“Can I drink that one too?” Adrian asked, chuckling slightly.

Hugh smiled at him. “No, you can’t. Too much sugar.”

And when Adrian laughed again, he remembered where he had learned that piece of medical advice.

And he stopped smiling.

“Ice? Just… just ice?” Simon asked Owen, incredulous. His gaze met Hugh’s. “It seems like… Hugh already did that. Are you sure that’s all he needs? And can he go to sleep? Sure? He’s not gonna— no, but… Tamaya, please, let the doctor speak— ok, there’s no need to talk to me like that, I’m sensitive, all right? When you hit your kid with a door, you'll understand my concern.”

After Owen and Tamaya were able to calm Simon down, he hung up the phone. “Well, Adrian, Owen says you’re fine,” he said a little bit less shaken up than before. “And Tamaya is not invited to next week’s party.” Adrian chuckled again. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Simon carried Adrian all the way to his room. Hugh followed them closely, and stayed at the door, listening to his son asking his dad if they could sleep with him that night.

“You’re not too old to sleep with me anyways,” he assured.

Simon looked at Hugh, but he was so far away, he couldn’t tell what he was trying to communicate with his eyes.

If he was trying to communicate anything at all.

There was nothing Simon could say though; it still didn’t seem right for him to sleep in the same bed as Adrian that night.

After all, he had been the one that locked him out of his room when he needed him the most. Adrian was asking for his dad (or “daddy”, like he called him at that age), and he had not reacted immediately after hearing his first cries.

And to make matters worse, he hadn't bought apple juice, even if he knew it was Adrian’s favorite.

Hugh felt like the worst parent on the planet.

Simon was the one who stayed with Adrian that night. Hugh told him the three of them wouldn’t fit in the same bed anyway. Adrian wasn’t that convinced by that answer, but as soon as Simon kissed the top of his head, he seemed a lot happier than before.

He wasn’t able to sleep that night. Not because it was the first time in forever he slept on a bed all by himself, not at all.

It was actually the opposite.

Because from that moment on, two things happened: first, each time Adrian woke up in the middle of the night and went to their bedroom, Simon grabbed him by the hand and together went back to Adrian’s room, where Simon slept on the same bed as his son, and Adrian cried until he fell asleep. And second, after that night, a new ghost joined in. It was no longer the man with blue eyes, or the mother and her loud baby, nor it was the little girl who made too many questions for her own good.

It was her, whose smile could light up the darkest of rooms. Her, whose laugh he heard everywhere, without actually hearing it. Her, who sometimes made him think was seeing her through their son’s eyes, and her who, when no one else was there for him, hugged him from behind and assured him everything was going to work out at the end of the day because there was no force on the universe that was able to take down Lady Indomitable and Captain Chromium.

But she had been wrong.

Like the night after that mission.

It probably had been an unimportant mission, because Hugh could no longer remember what it was about. He just remembered he had planned it and it had failed. They were not able to get what they wanted and the bad guys won. Also, all the members of the team had gotten hurt in some way or another. For example, Simon was left temporarily deaf on one ear after a big explosion and his right hand had first degree burns. Kasumi had been able to avoid getting burned by using her powers to make a kind of water dome around her, but she still got her knees all scraped when she tried to run and fell, and when he said scraped, he meant really scraped. Tamaya wanted to electrocute one of those guys by herself when they tried to take Evander by grabbing him by the leg in a way she didn’t like at all, and even if she did leave all of them unconscious, both still got deep cuts on their hands and arms.

When they arrived, the house became a hospital, where she was the one and the only doctor, because she didn’t get hurt that much and was able to move around without bleeding to death or something.

Hugh also helped her take care of everyone’s injuries (and to calm down Simon when he started panicking about the whole “I CANNOT LIVE MY LIFE ONLY HEARING WITH ONE EAR” thing.) But he wasn’t as good as a doctor as she was, even if he was the designated nurse when one of them got sick of something that may be contagious. That’s why he limited himself to passing her the bandages, towels, and anything she needed, without complaining or giving his unsolicited advice like he constantly did with everyone except her.

After they were finished attending everyone, they decided to go to sleep. Hugh didn’t feel like sleeping that night though, so he went to the roof, thinking he was probably going to stay there until the morning came, to be able to get in bed again and pretend like he had been there the whole night.

However, someone did notice he was gone.

“Do you mind if I join you?”

She was flying a couple of inches above the ground and was wearing her pajamas and a little blanket as a cape, to cover herself from the cold wind.

With one hand, she was holding a bag of frozen peas wrapped in an old rag and put it on the small bump she had got when she got hit during that night’s mission.

Hugh just nodded, and she sat beside him, sighing.

They stayed in complete silence, and when he was about to ask her if he could help her with anything, she asked him:

“Where does it hurt, Hugh?”

“What?”

“Where does it hurt?” she asked again.

“No, I heard you the first time,” he answered. “It’s just—”

Just what?

But Georgie didn’t ask him that.

“I know it may not… physically hurt,” she explained herself after realizing he was not going to finish that sentence, leaving the bag of frozen peas on her lap. “But I also know there are a lot of ways someone can be hurting, and those wounds that are on the inside, are as important as the wounds we can see on the outside—” she grabbed his hand, and gently took him by the cheek to make sure he saw her in the eyes.

He would recognize those eyes everywhere.

“Why does it matter?” he asked her softly.

“Because… you’re very strong, Hugh,” she answered caressing his cheek. “Very, very strong. But maybe, if you tell me exactly what’s going on inside your head, we can find a way to cure your pain together. Because we’re in this together. You don’t have to do it alone. Not again. Not ever again.”

She closed her eyes, and he pressed his forehead against hers, looking at their hands, holding each other like their life depended on it.

“So tell me… where does it hurt?”

He didn’t answer the question; but he remembered it was the first time in forever he cried in front of someone who wasn’t Simon. He wasn’t even sure why he was crying and his memories about that moment were blurry as if it had been a dream. What he did remember very vividly was that she didn’t judge him at all or made him like his feelings didn’t matter. On the contrary, she stayed there as long as he needed, crying with him, until he was able to calm down again, and asked her if she wanted to go back inside. She didn’t think twice and accepted. After returning the frozen peas to the freezer, they pushed together the two couches they had in the living room, covered themselves with the small blanket she had brought with her and cuddled until they fell asleep.

From that moment on, it became more common for them to cuddle together. She was always cuddling with everyone, even with Tamaya and Simon, who were the ones with more difficulties accepting physical affection from others. But not even them could refuse her hugs, and her kisses, and her not so uncommon tickles, which Evander and Kasumi loved. Hugh couldn’t help but notice though, he was the one she hugged, kissed and tickled the most, even after she had Adrian and had to share her love with one person more, that probably needed it more than him.

And he loved to be her favorite.

Well— her second favorite. Adrian went first.

He just wished he had hugged her, kissed her, and tickled her more. She was always the one who looked for him, but he rarely looked for her to show her physical affection.

Hugh didn’t look for her at all. Not even when she disappeared.

He didn’t even know why.

He didn’t know anything.

But he did know that she had been wrong when she told him he was strong.

If he were truly strong, he would have protected her, like he had promised her he would do thousands and thousands of times.

If he were truly strong, he would have been the one that was there when the Artinos needed the Renegades, and he would have stopped the hitman Ace Anarchy sent to end them.

If he were truly strong and death had come after him the same way it came after her, he would have survived the fall.

Because he always did.

Because it was not possible for him to get hurt.

It was not her fault she hadn’t survived though. She wasn’t built that way. While Hugh was made mostly of chromium, Georgia Rawles was made of flesh, bones, blood, but mainly, she was made of love, and sometimes, love could be indestructible, but other times, it could also be fragile.

Very fragile.

It didn’t matter how strong she was.

Oh, because she was strong. She was really strong. She had the kind of strength his superpowers couldn’t give him, and that was the one that was going to change the world they lived in.

Georgia Rawles was so strong, she kept her cool when things were going to hell.

Georgia Rawles was so strong, she raised a child in the middle of a world ruled by anarchy, and was the best mother that child could ask for.

Georgia Rawles was so strong, she became the face people saw when they thought about hope, and didn’t let her beautiful heart to be changed by the obstacles life threw at her, no matter how horrible they were.

And it hadn’t been her fault she died. She didn’t fail anyone, not even the Artinos.

No. The one who had failed the Artinos, the one who had failed her, had been Hugh.

He should have been the one who died that night. He should be dead and buried, and she should be there, alive, with her son and her family, living in the world she had made a better place.

A world he didn’t feel he deserved.

Suddenly, a couple of familiar white boots appeared a couple of inches in front of him. He tried to convince himself not to look up, but his curiosity was bigger than his fear, even if he already knew who it was because she appeared every night after the door incident. It was Georgie’s ghost, just that this time, she was holding Simon’s hand. Her golden cape had not a single drop of blood and looked like new. She was wearing her whole superhero uniform but without her mask, so he had a clear view of her whole face. She let go of Simon for a second, and tried to walk towards Hugh, without taking her eyes away from him.

She didn’t even have to talk to let him know what she was trying to say.

Georgie was trying to remember him the good things his world had. He had raised two brilliant and kind sons who were his pride and joy, even when they weren’t in their best behavior. He had a friend who felt like an older sister, that fiercely loved him and the rest and had always done even when she was still learning how to love herself for the good, chaotic, intelligent, and beautiful person she was. He had another friend who, on the other hand, felt like a younger sister, and whose gestures, voice, and movements were like the calm before the storm, but when it came the time to defend others or defend herself, she became the storm itself, ready to drown whoever dare to treat her in a way that didn’t fit the respect she deserved. He also had a friend, who felt like a little brother, that he had seen grow up since he was a kid that had to get on his tiptoes to high five him, and the memory of his smile, his laugh, and his jokes that sometimes seemed to be hidden behind that strange villainous mask he wore was enough for him not to hate him, even if he hated Hugh.

He had… or had had a husband too. A husband that made him feel like he was at home each time he saw him. A husband who laughed at all his jokes, even when they weren’t that funny, and made him fall in love with him all over again each time he opened that smart mouth of his. A husband whose personality, humor, and body perfectly fit his, because if Hugh had been made for someone, it had been for him. A husband who always chose him, above anything else, but when it came to the point Hugh had failed him so many times, he had no other option but to choose himself.

And it wasn’t like Hugh could blame him. Simon deserved to be happy. Simon deserved each and all of the good things that this world had to offer to him, even if one of those things wasn’t Hugh.

Suddenly, Georgie extended her hand towards him, but when she was about to touch him, an invisible and polarized wall suddenly got in her way.

It was the first time Hugh actually saw it.

It was something grey, hollow, and invisible, that was coming out of him like the chrome that was dripping from his fingers at that very moment.

But Georgie, being Georgie, didn't flinch when she saw that wall. Instead, she flew over his head to try to get in that way. Hugh was following her with his gaze and realized at the same time as her, that thing was not a simple wall that had the sole purpose of making him get away from the people he loved.

That thing, that grey, hollow, and invisible thing, was a shell that impeded the people he loved to get closer to Hugh.

And Georgie was stubborn. Probably as much or more stubborn that Hugh was, even if she constantly was acting as if she weren’t. First, she proved her luck by kicking the shell into letting her in. Then, she used all the force in her body to try to crack it open. She got so desperate that started using her fists, punching and screaming his name, calling him “darling”, and imploring him to hold on a little longer.

The thing was… the thing was he didn’t want her to do that.

He didn’t know what she was feeling, but each time she kicked, she punched and she screamed, Hugh felt like his body was hurting. Not from the outside in, like he had heard physical pain felt, but from inside out; it was a pain that didn’t limit itself to his chest area, and went through all his body. He felt it in his legs, his face, and his arms, and gave him the sudden need to scratch it away. However, the aching shell was pretty similar to the real world, in the sense that when he did it, when he scratched his body in order to make the pain stop some way or another, his skin, and therefore his pain, didn’t react to it. It was as if he hadn’t even moved or made the most minimal effort to help himself.

Please, Georgie.

Please stop.

Please, please...

Please.

Just give up.

So Georgie fell to her knees, leaving bloody marks of her hands all over the shell. The small body of a girl grabbed her by the arm as if she wanted to hug her the same way Adrian hugged Hugh when he had a nightmare. A woman put her hand on her shoulder and quickly soothed her baby before she even started crying. Then, the man of the family wrapped his arms around the four of them, with a fearful but determined expression, that only brave people like him had.

She had heard him. She had given up on him.

The same way Simon, who didn’t stop watching the whole scene, had.

The same way he himself had.

Georgie tried to make him understand one last time.

You live in a beautiful world.

But she was wrong again.

Not about the part of the world being beautiful; it was about the part of her thinking Hugh didn’t already know that.

He did know the world he lived in was beautiful because the people who were part of it made it that way.

However, each time a happy moment occurred or a tragedy knocked at the door, it was as if Hugh wasn’t able to experience the happiness or the sadness that he was supposed to feel. When they cried, they laughed, or they yelled at him, their sobs, their smiles, and their screams felt real, but when he tried to imitate them, he felt like something that had come out from another planet pretending to be a human. Even those tears he was crying now, were more of a way his mind had found to fill the hole he had on his chest, while it waited for that weight to come and take its place.

Not like it was going to matter though. When the sun came up, all those imaginary ghosts will disappear. All the tears he had cried will dry, and all the aching he had felt will turn into the deepest of numbness.

He laid his head on the floor and grasped Simon's pillow tightly.

The next morning, he would feel no pain, in the same way, he would feel no comfort because that was part of being born with the powers he had.

But was there any point in living if you couldn’t feel anything?

***

The answer to that question was about to come to him when he was standing in the Arena, actually tearing up, after both sides of the battle had suddenly ceased fire.

He wasn’t able to see his family in the middle of the chaos, but for some reason, that didn’t scare him at all. The five of them were competent and strong, and they probably were also looking for him, so it was a matter of time and keep looking for them.

Also, this chaos— this chaos was nothing compared to what the Age of Anarchy had been.

He had been alive during the Age of Anarchy. He had experienced on first hand the horrors and the violence of it and had felt like there was no alternative but to roll with it, even if it was painful, horrible, and made him feel hopeless and small.

But then, he met them.

He met them, and the five of them were so full of light that they turned him into light too. The six got together and were able to bring hope into a world that had already given up on people like them, and constantly told them to do the same.

But what they didn’t know was that their secret was not to give up on each other.

They never gave up on each other, not even when one of those lights was gone.

Maybe she never really went anywhere. Maybe she had always been there. Maybe she was on their monthly dinners, in the internal jokes they still shared after all these years, and in the small gestures that reminded them they still love each other and they were still all in this together.

And she would have loved to see them like that.

She had been right about him being strong. But that wasn’t going to be the reason why he was going to be able to end with this chaos and why the Renegades were going to win in the end one more time. He was going to win because she was right when she said he was not only strong, but he was also vibrant, wonderful, valid, and most importantly, he was right. He was right that this world was worth protecting because life was full of moments and people that he would have never met if he weren’t alive to do it in the first place.

Hugh was alive. He was alive and he still could do something about it, to fix what was in his power to fix, and one of those things was himself and the mistakes he had made. There was nothing wrong with accepting what he had done wrong and in becoming a better person, not for others, but for himself.

There was nothing wrong with being alive.

He asked himself again.

Is there any point in living if you can’t feel anything?

But the answer slipped through his fingers. Because he was about to say it out loud, when something grabbed him and dragged him out of that dream, woke him up, and made him realize he was trapped inside a nightmare.

The helmet fell off Callum Treadwell's hands, and he fell on his back, covering his wound and trying to stop the hemorrhage.

He didn’t even bother to try to stop them when they grabbed Ace Anarchy’s helmet. He also didn’t tremble when they assured all of them had fought bravely, but now it was time for them to know fear, and he barely moved as he saw them turned into a phantom creature and soared like a bird of prey while he made his way to his master to give him the key to gaining back all the power he had previously lost.

Instead, he looked at Wonder, who now was with Nightmare, and then looked at his own boots, who also had the blood of numerous people he probably didn’t know.

Or he did.

Maybe it was his family’s blood.

With the thought in mind, he started searching for their faces in a crowd full of people looking for their loved ones while trying not to get killed in the process. He didn’t have a lot of time to do it though, because as soon as he thought he had seen Simon, the sound of shackles springing loudly reached his ears, followed by the same voice saying:

“Master of Anarchy, rise again, and let us watch them fall.”

As soon as Ace Anarchy started to float upward, the arena began to shake. His powers grabbed each piece of the structure they could find and were used against the few Renegades who were still trying to fight back. The stand he had been gazing at was yanked up from the floor, and Ace Anarchy hurled it at where he was standing.

He threw himself on the ground to dodge it, and then, he turned to see Ace, who was already gazing at him with a condescending grin on his face.

He hadn’t tried to kill him. But he hoped he had.

Actually, he hoped Ace Anarchy killed him right there, and that he did it fast.

Because that would be a lot much easier than whatever the hell he was supposed to do at that moment.

A pair of white boots tripped with Hugh’s body. He had to blink twice to make sure what he was seeing wasn’t a hallucination brought on by stress before turning to look at them and recognize Evander’s black superhero suit. At first, he thought he was going to say something like “Get up!” or “The fuck you’re doing on the ground?!” or a mixture of both, but instead, he just kicked the silver spear in his direction.

Hugh instantly grasped it. Evander gave him a small nod with the head before running towards Ace, and watching him getting closer and closer to him made something inside of Hugh move, giving him the strength he needed to get on his feet again and follow him.

As soon as he saw him throw a blinding strobe into Ace’s face, he knew what Evander wanted him to do.

Hugh took advantage of those few instants Ace gave them when he ducked his head and hurled his weapon at him.

Ace dodged it. Just for a few inches.

Hugh made eye contact with him.

Kill me.

Please.

Kill me. Right now.

And as if he had heard him, a grin appeared on his lips.

He directed the chains that had been used to contain the prisoners at what he thought it was him, and his whole body shriveled at the idea of their cold touch of the metal being the last thing his skin touched.

But Hugh had been wrong, and the chains wrapped Evander's torso and gagged his mouth.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to get on his knees and beg him to spare Evander's life. He wanted to go feral, throw himself at him, and kill him in a way that made sure he dragged both of them directly to the hell he had been told by Ace he was going to when he died, just to make sure he wouldn't hurt anyone else when he was no longer there to protect ones who were left. He wouldn't care that it wasn't heroic of him to ask his worst enemy to end his life on the verge of tears and with a broken voice because it would be even less heroic of him to let the younger member of his family die this way.

He couldn't bear to let another person die instead of him. He couldn't.

He wouldn't be able to take it.

He wasn't strong enough.

Hugh glanced at Evander one last time, to let him know everything would be fine and that he was going to be the one who took his place. But when he realized Evander hadn't taken his eyes away from him, and terror had overtaken his entire face, the words, the begging, and the crying stayed in his throat, now completely unable to come out.

Ace flicked his fingers.

And in a blink, Evander wasn't looking at him anymore.

His scream didn't sound like him. It made his throat hurt and his entire body feel cold.

No.

No, no, no, no.

It was supposed to be him.

He was the one who should be dead right now.

And why wasn't he dead then?

Why were Evander and Georgie dead— and Hugh wasn't?

A pair of knees fell to the ground beside him. He turned around, mechanically, and he saw Kasumi, whose mouth was slightly open and her face had grown pale. Suddenly, instead of breaking down and crying like he thought she was about to do, she made her hands into fists, her jaw clenched, and after a blink, her eyes had turned into the bluest of blues he had ever seen.

Her scream was so guttural and so full of pain, she didn’t sound like her. Kasumi had never been able to make a wave that big out of nowhere in just one second and she had never used her powers with so much hate drawn all over her face full of tears that she didn’t seem to realize she was crying.

But with a simple flick of his wrist, Ace flipped the entire platform and created a barrier that protected him from the wave, breaking it and flooding the arena. Kasumi quickly tried to control the water to protect Evander’s corpse; he took advantage of that distraction to throw the platform at her.

And the only thing Kasumi could do was cry out and raise her arms to defend herself from the crushing weight that now was on top of her.

She didn’t even try to move or to run away. But he didn’t know if it was because it all happened so fast she didn’t have the time to do it—

Or because she simply didn’t want to.

Hugh looked up to the sky, searching for Tamaya. He expected to find her flying, keeping her distance, throwing bolts at her enemies, and when they were able to make eye contact, he would yell her name and ask her for help.

Not for him though.

For them. For Kasumi and Evander. Because each second that passed with Kasumi still under that platform, paralyzed and alone, and with Evander still at the mercy of whoever that passed and that could trip with him or kicked him, was a second that they were being—

Hurt.

But Hugh didn’t see her. She wasn’t anywhere he expected to find her, and he did his best to scan the whole sky, even if the little smoke that still remained in the area made it difficult for him to see.

Then, a dark thought clouded his mind.

Tamaya wasn’t reckless. Not anymore. She wouldn’t risk her life by staying on the ground, and she would know that the best way she would be able to help the rest of them was if she flew and got closer only in case they needed her help.

If she had stayed in the sky, she would have been able to see Evander blinding Ace with his powers. She would have seen Kasumi breaking down and her wave would have touched her wings. She would have known they needed her help long before Hugh did.

Then why wasn’t she there?

Why couldn’t he bring himself to lower his head and look for her in the ground?

Why was he so… numb?

Suddenly, Ace’s roar filled his ears. The villain had a knife buried on his left side, and when he tried to hit whoever had stabbed him, he wasn’t able to find them.

It wasn’t possible that someone had thrown a knife at him since the attack had clearly been from behind. And no one would be fast enough to get out of Ace’s reach and disappear before he realized he had been hurt.

Disappear.

And it was as if he could see him again. He was able to see him standing behind Ace, piercing him with his gaze, ready to push him, made him hit his face against the ground, and kill him himself. He could see his face—the face he had kissed thousands of times— contorted in anger even before his presence was revealed by Honey Harper, who screeched almost as if asking for his husband’s head, and sent every one of the creatures she had control over in his direction.

Simon cried in pain and, after flickering a couple of seconds, he curled into a ball, to protect his body from the bee’s dangerous stings.

An eerie beam of light flew over his head and made Honey Harper fall into a row of plastic chairs. Her bees suddenly lost interest in Simon and flew towards her, hearing their queen calling for someone’s name. When he looked around for whoever had attacked her, he recognized the Sentinel’s armor and noticed how he slowly lowered his arm, as if he couldn’t believe he had just shot someone right in the chest from that distance.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw Leroy Flinn tossing a couple of Renegades who were about to attack him and running towards his ally to check on her as if he were one more of her bees who blindly followed her command. Ace watched the scene as the same time Hugh did, but instead of asking Cyanide if she was fine, or even trying to pretend he cared for her, he used his powers to pull his back out of his knife.

He pulled the knife out of his back, probably because he was too full of himself to realize that he could bleed to death if he did that.

Simon knew that. He would have done it himself if he only had time.

Simon knew a lot of things.

And Hugh saw in his eyes that he knew Ace was aiming at his throat when he threw his own weapon at him.

But before the knife touched any inch of Simon’s skin, a swarm of monarch butterflies covered him and Danna Bell used her forearm to knock it from the air.

The Renegades who were still on condition to fight started using their powers at maximum capacity to try to stop Ace Anarchy. Hugh began to walk around with his head low, looking for his weapon because that was the only thing the dark fog that made his body feel dizzy and his thoughts fuzzy allowed him to do.

Look for it.

Look for it, grab it, get up, and fight.

The spear was nowhere to be found. And Hugh didn’t feel like fighting anymore.

He wanted to lay on the floor. He wanted to lay on the floor with Tamaya, with Kasumi, and with Evander, close his eyes, and try to remember how he felt when they were kids and all of them slept together in the same giant bed. He would try to imagine the sound of their breaths and suffocate the yelling, the crying, and the screeching, to at least feel like he was falling asleep before someone came and finished the job for —not for Ace— but for him.

And if no one did, at least Hugh knew what he was going to do next.

His knees began to tremble and his feet refused to keep going. He saw the Silver Spear a couple of meters behind Ace. Maybe if he was able to get across those barriers Ace had built around him with his powers, he could use it.

He had never tried to use it to see if it could physically hurt him in a way that could potentially kill him.

But he could try.

Immediately after that, he noticed someone’s gaze was fixated on him. He looked at Ace but just at that moment, he was struck by a bolt of smoke, distracting himself by his own coughing.

Two hands covered with black gloves slightly touched his weapon and made it move towards him.

The same hands he had been wanting to hold for so long.

The same hands that belonged to the same person who hadn’t stopped looking at him after all this time.

Simon probably didn’t even notice what he did. When Hugh looked back at him, he wasn’t paying attention to him anymore; instead, he was trying his best not to keep slipping on the muddy ground while he stumbled his way out of there.

Simon was slipping through his fingers once again.

The difference was that this time when the Sentinel landed beside a kneeling Simon, hurt and full with stings on his face and neck, he knew he couldn’t let watching him go away be the last thing he did in his life.

Hugh didn’t like running after people when they decided to go because he would never want anyone to do it if it were him.

After all, leaving took a lot of strength. Someone following him would only make it so much harder.

And being the one who followed and was rejected at the end, was even worse.

But some people were worth following. Just one time. Just to make sure they really wanted to leave, or if they wanted to stay just as hard as one wanted them to.

Just so each other knew they haven’t given up on each other yet.

Because he would never give up on Simon; not even when Hugh had already given up on himself.

When he kneeled beside him, he just threw a glance at the Sentinel to try to figure out his intentions, but immediately centered all his attention on Simon.

The hell with the Sentinel.

“Simon, what happened?” he asked him, with his voice trembling as much as the ground did. “What’s wrong?”

And Simon—

Simon answered him.

“At least one of those hornets must have had Agent N—” their gazes met “—I’ve been neutralized.”

He bit his lips and lowered his head, almost as if he were apologizing for something.

But Hugh didn’t want him to apologize. He wasn’t the one who needed to do it.

That Simon was still his Simon. With or without powers.

Hugh put his arm around Simon. “We need to get you out of here. Can you stand?”

He expected Simon to flinch at his touch and ask him to get away from him as soon as he touched. What he didn’t expect was for him to completely ignore his question and his arm around him, and instead, ask him, “Have you seen Adrian?”

Hugh immediately tried to remember if he had seen him during the fight. But, to his horror, the last time he had seen Adrian had been the night he and his team discovered Nightmare’s true identity because he had been avoiding him during the last days.

Those things now seemed insignificant and petty compared with what was happening now.

First, he only shook his head, and while he helped him to get up, Simon’s eyes started to fill with tears. “We’ll find him,” he assured him. “He’s strong. He has to be fine.”

And it was a threat to the universe.

Simon tried to give a step, but his legs couldn’t hold the weight of his body, and he almost fell again. Hugh instinctively held him tighter. “I’m okay,” Simon quickly said, waving his hand. “It’s just…”

It’s just—

Hugh wanted to ask him: “It’s just what?”

But she hadn’t asked him that question. So he didn’t ask Simon either.

He did want an answer though.

And Simon was so good, he gave it to him.

“My whole body feels like it’s burning up from the inside out. Whatever venom those wasps have—”

Simon groaned and Hugh heard his words echoing in his mind.

Feeling.

At least you’re feeling.

You’re feeling, and that’s what matters.

Hugh tried to speak, but the Sentinel interrupted him before he could even say a word.

“Here, let me take him.” He frowned, and the Sentinel added, “You need to stop Ace Anarchy.”

He contemplated the Sentinel's armor, about to tell him to move and let him take his husband out of there.

Hugh didn't need to do anything.

The only thing he needed to do was to get Simon away from danger as quickly as possible.

But he would be lying.

Because deep in his heart, he knew he had to stop Ace Anarchy before he did anything else.

Not because he wanted to. It was because he had to.

That was the way it had always been.

He would like to hate the Sentinel for making that remark, but as soon as his eyes met with his helmet, he realized he had become one of those insignificant and petty things he couldn't believe had taken so much of his time.

And he had also saved Max.

Without him, Adrian wouldn't have had a little brother to kidnap, Hugh wouldn't have had two sons to worry about, and probably, a husband for the Anarchist to hurt.

“Thank you.”

He meant it.

He really meant it.

If the Sentinel smiled or felt something when he heard those words, he didn't show it. He moved towards them to help Simon put his weight on him, but as soon as he got close, he flinched and held Hugh tighter.

A lot more tighter.

With all his might.

Hugh looked him dead in the eye, and Simon did it too.

He would never forget how soft, yet determined, his voice sounded when he said those three words to him.

It was a plea and it was an order.

It was a question and it was an answer.

They were full of vulnerability and they were full of strength.

It was the first words he had really said to him in a long time but might as well become the last ones.

Simon said, “Don't get killed.”

Two realizations came to him at the same time.

The first one was that Simon's lips were slightly open after he said that.

And the second one was that he couldn't die yet.

Not because of the world. Not even because he was sure he wanted to keep living.

He needed to live because he had to find Tamaya to tell her he was sorry, even if he had to look for her on the ground. Because he needed to help Kasumi, ask her to forgive him too, and assure her she had been right all along. Because he needed to fulfill the silent promise he had made to Evander since the day he appeared on their life's door and protect him one last time.

He needed to see Max, hug him, and get him ready for bed.

He needed to talk to Adrian again and tell him he loved him, without him having to be the first one to do so.

And he needed to hold, touch, but above all, kiss the love of his life one more time, and make sure he would never again think Hugh didn't love him until his last breath, and that his last thoughts were all about him.

So he not only needed to live.

He had to live.

Just one last time, he had to live.

He had done it before; he would do it again.

“I'd like to see him try.”

***

The last thing Hugh saw before falling, was Adrian’s face.

And he looked small. Very small. And completely terrified.

He looked so terrified, that the few seconds he was falling, he could only think about all the horrible things Adrian and Max must be feeling, and not actually about what he was feeling.

But as soon as he realized that, he hit the ground.

At first, he did his best not to give up and stay awake for as long as possible. But he started wondering what Georgie felt when she fell from the sky. If she had looked like a shooting star. And he wondered if it was really her the one who appeared in front of him, wearing a golden cape. If it was really her when she held his face in her hands, caressing his cheeks without saying a single word, and kissed his forehead before getting up again and starting flying, and flying until he couldn’t see her anymore.

He also wondered if she would have been woken up by the pain had she survived the fall, just like he eventually did. If she would have also felt the instant relief everyone felt when they came to the realization that they were alive, just to immediately be followed up by guilt. Or what Georgie would have thought if she had stayed a little longer, just to ask him that one last time.

Where does it hurt?

Hugh would have told her the truth. Because of course he would have told her the truth. He would never lie to her. Not even when all he had done for the last ten years, had been lying to himself.

Everywhere.

It hurts everywhere.

She didn’t ask him anything though.

Not that he was mad at her for not doing so.

He just wondered what she would have thought.

#renegades #archenemies #supernova #renegades trilogy #humon #hugh everhart #simon westwood #should i tag the rest of the council?#let's do it jaja #georgia rawles #tamaya rae #kasumi hasegawa #evander wade #pinche evander cómo te odio en este fic eres la peor escoria del mundo aaaah #adrian everhart #pinche adrian también tú chinga tu madre #nova artino #nova tú estás bien a ti sí te quiero

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sparkleofpizza · 5 years ago

Text

The archer - Tim Drake x reader 3/?

Requested: no

Warnings: swearing, flashback in italic

Taglist: @isthataladybag

Summary: Y/n Queen will be living in the Wayne Manor for a while, and Dick Grayson decided to be the Cupid between her and his little brother Tim Drake.

Word count: 2.918

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

Tim trusted Bruce. He trusted Bruce a lot, he was Batman after all, he took care of the city very well and would never let a known threat just live there normally. But Tim was a detective as well, he felt a bit bad for it, but he had to dig a bit on you.

After finding out you are Oliver's sister and not Roy’s, and that you had been trained by Talia al Ghul, he realized he knows nothing about you or your past. If it was anyone else staying at his house, he would've already found out all of their secrets and everything they had ever done in their life. He couldn't let a silly crush get in the way, or your pretty conquer smile. He felt very bad for snooping around, but he had to do it. It was who he was.

You were out for the day, you had to take care of a few papers at Gotham University since you would be studying there in a few days. You had invited Tim to accompany you, and he really wanted to, specially since you knew nothing about Gotham and could easily end up going somewhere dangerous (everywhere was a bit dangerous, but still). He told you he had to work on a few papers for Wayne Enterprises and suggested you invited Jason to join you.

So now, there was Tim. Sitting alone in his room, laptop open, a mug of warm coffee by his side, and he was ready to look you up. He started typing, doing the thing he always does when he needs to dig dirty on people he is tracking for a case - he still felt terrible about doing this behind your back, but he pushed it to the back of his mind, it was just the crush he had on you talking louder than common sense.

Y/n M/n Queen. Birthday: xx/xx/xxxx. Birth place: Star City.

Moira Queen - mother (deceased)

Robert Queen - father (deceased)

Oliver Queen - brother

Emiko Queen - half sister

Tim started reading everything he could find about you. Good student with great grades, former cheerleader, socialite knowing for mingling with important people from Star City. Has been saved by the Green Arrow a few times when kidnaped for being a Queen, and then Deathstroke's victim. Footage of you out there being Silver, in the years where you were activated the most, now a days you're hardly ever seen as vigilant. Associated with Thomas Merlyn - mercenary, Malcom Merlyn - mercenary and assassin. Joined the League of Assassins for five months after being held as a prize on a fight between Malcom Merlyn and Oliver Queen, resulting in the loss of Oliver and you being sent to the League. Trained by the whole al Ghul family. Often associated with Roy Harper and Connor Hawke. Teamed up with Red Arrow and Kid Flash before.

Tim was pleased he didn't find anything bad about you. All of this was ok, even the League of Assassins stuff. He was relived, but now was feeling ever guiltier than before. Should he tell you what he did? Would you be mad?

He closed his laptop, rubbing his eyes. Maybe he was just tired, that's why he did all of this. There was no need for you to know any of this.

"Drake." Damian said, barging into his room, hands behind his back and chin held up high "I think we need to discuss the fact that Queen is a former member of the League of Assassins."

Tim sighted "I already looked it up, she is fine, Damian."

"Then look it up again and harder. You are letting your feelings cloud your judgment."

And with that the little boy left.

You were sitting at a cafe with Jason in Gotham Downtown. You had already delivered the missing papers at Gotham University, and now were enjoining an iced coffee with him. He had a hat and sunglasses on, trying to hide his identity, he was supposed to be dead and hasn't made his big debute just yet.

"So... Dick seems to be trying to be the cupid between you and Tim." he commented, taking a sip of his Frappuccino "What do you think about that?"

You chuckled "I am certainly not opposed to that."

Jason's eyebrows shot up "Really? So you are crushing on my replacement?"

"Stop calling him that, you know he didn't want to replace you." you rolled your eyes, no you didn't know that, but from what you learned about Tim, you could tell that wasn't his intention when he took the mantle of Robin "And yes, I am crushing your brother. Although I have no idea what he wants from me."

The man in front of you rolled his eyes back at you, not like you could see trough the dark lenses covering his eyes. Of course you were crushing on him, if you were already willingly to defend Tim without even knowing everything.

"Dick wouldn't have came up with this idea if he didn't think Tim was interested in you as well. But, I can try and talk to him if you want to. Please, don't."

"Geez, why did you volunteer if you don't want to?"

"Because I am trying to be nice to you."

You shook your head, sipping on your iced caramel macchiato. You only hope that Jason don't rat you out to Roy, you don't want your brother to find out about you having a crush on Bruce's son thought Roy. God knows he didn't know how to keep the gossip to himself.

"What's the deal with you being trained by the demon's mother?"

Ah there it was, the question you knew would come eventually. You regretted telling them the truth in the first place, but you also knew that if they found out later and on their own it would have been worse. They would probably think you were trying to hide it from them because of bad motives. It wasn't, you just didn't really like to look someone in the eyes and say hey, did you know I was trained by assassins?

"I already said it isn't..."

"Yes, it is." he cut you off, not buying any of your bullshit "I know you are not the bad guy, if that is why you are afraid of telling me the truth. I just want to know what happened. I know how the league can be... brute."

You bit on your lower lip, staring off into distance.

The air was warmer than you remembered it from a few years ago, maybe it was because you were younger and was only trying to see the best into the situation - it was like a trip, right?

You looked out of the window, watching the trees' leafs waving with the wind, people walking in a group outside, looking for any inconvenience. You wondered how long it would take for you to be killed if you decided to escape.

"It is time for your training." Nissa al Ghul informed you, standing at the door of the room you were currently calling yours

"Again?" you asked, not turning around to face her, you didn't want her to see your blank face "I just finished training with your sister."

Nissa sighted, pushing back the brown hair that was around her shoulders. Her hand left the handle of the sword tucked into her belt. She had promised Oliver that she would do her best to keep his sister out of harm ways, but there was only much she could do. Going against both her father and sister was not a smart idea, and although it wasn't often that she saw eye to eye with them, they were still her family, and Oliver and you were simple... friends? Maybe, that was a complex term.

"Yes, again. My father is waiting for you and he doesn't like when people keep him waiting."

You nodded your head. There was no point in fighting like you did the first couple of weeks. You knew you were outnumbered, and God knows when your family is coming to rescue you, if they can succeed in doing so.

As you walked around, silent footsteps, no sign of your approach, you saw Ra's al Ghul. Before you could even blink, he had his sword down to your neck, you on your knees as you helplessly stared into his eyes. His angry eyes.

"Never keep your opponent waiting. It gives him the time to explore his surrounds and learn the best path to ambush you the moment you arrive."

You pushed his sword back, not caring that the blade cut into the palm of your hand. You allowed the blood to drip on the floor, pushing yourself off the floor and grabbing your bow and an arrow from the quiver on your back.

Fighting with Ra's made you think that maybe this was going to be your life from now on. Sparring everyday until you had to kill for the first time, then sparring harder until you got sent on a mission, for your first kill. You wondered if maybe you would be stopped by your brother and friends, if you would allow them, or if not, if they'd succeed in stopping you.

"It was just Malcom's Merlyn fault." you stated, turning your gaze to Jason who was still staring at you "He provoked my brother into a fight, I was the prize. Malcom won and the league finally got a Queen so they could mold into the perfect assassin. Thankfully, Tommy joined Oliver and they both got me out of there."

Jason nodded, it wasn't a full story like he was expecting, but hey! He doesn't like to talk about his time at the league too. Hell, he thinks not even one of his brothers know fully everything that happened there with him. Somethings are better left unsaid, and apparently, for you, this was the case. He was ok with that, that was your story to be told, and if you didn't want to share it, then you didn't have to.

"Yeah, Roy mentioned a couple of times how much of an asshole Merlyn can be." He said, earning a laugh from you

“He knows how to be a pain in the ass.” You nodded your head in agreement “I thought Bruce had said something about it to you guys.”

Jason shook his head, it was typical Bruce to not share informations with the rest of them. Jason learned from him how to be closed off and not share his feelings, even when Dick would bother him about it.

“No, he didn’t say anything.”

You persued your lips “Oliver asked him for help at the time, you know, because of Bruce’s connections to Talia. He wanted to know the best way to outsmart her. I thought at least one of you knew...”

“Bruce probably thought it was for the best to keep this kind of information away from Damian. He doesn’t like to talk about his time at the league, I don’t like to talk about my time at the league. Dick would’ve found a way to ask us how we feel about it, and Tim... he would’ve found a way to ask us how was our time there, trying to learn more.”

You nodded your head. You couldn’t blame Bruce for not talking, you were actually relieved he didn’t, that way the boys got to know you because they wanted to, and not to prove you weren’t an assassin living in their house. You’ve never even killed anyone before, so... maybe you should’ve started the conversation with Jason by stating that fact, it would’ve been better.

“I never killed anyone.” You addded, voice just above a whisper “I thought you should know that.”

“Well, then I am glad the league didn’t break you enough to start killing.” He smiled at you

Dick was sitting at the kitchen with his brothers. Damian was going on a rant about you, exclaiming everyone should keep an eye on you, just in case.

Dick grabbed a cookie from the plate, they were still warm, freshed baked. He could understand why his little brother was worried, but Tim looking you up?

“I already talked about it with her today.” Jason sighted, presssing his hand trough his face “She isn’t an assassin, Damian! Let this go!”

“I can’t believe you were digging dirty on her.” Dick said, shaking his head in disappointment “I thought you were crushing on her! Damian said he saw you guys almost kissing yesterday!”

Tim blushed “I just had to make sure she was who I thought she was. We knew nothing about her, now we do. Her parents are both dead, she doesn’t have a criminal record, and she’s never killed anyone before.”

You stopped dead in your tracks, frowning. Did you hear them correctly? Did they look you up just to make sure you weren’t a bad person? Ok, you understand them being wary of you after they found this whole league of assassins thing out, but Tim...? You just couldn’t believe he had the nerve to do this instead of asking you, you would’ve told him anything he wanted to know.

Maybe you were being a fool, trusting him blindly when you shouldn’t. You were being a fool for just starting to fall for this boy who clearly doesn’t trust you enough like you trust him, and clearly his crush on you means nothing.

Frustrated, you went back to your room, closing the door behind you. Right now, you were regretting having agreed to wait for Oliver to come back from his missions to look for an apartment to live in Gotham.

You grabbed your cellphone from the bedside table, clicking on the screen and then holding it up to your ear.

“Hi, I need to talk to you about something.” You said as soon as he picked up

“Hello to you, too.” Connor Hawke said on the other end of the line “Who ate your ice cream?”

You rolled your eyes. Once when you were younger, Roy ate all of the ice cream there was on the fridge and you were pissed for the rest of the day. Now, every time you are on a bad mood, they would ask who ate your ice cream. Very funny.

“Hi, Connor. How are you?” You asked after taking a deep breath, taking your anger out on your best friend wasn’t going to solve your problems

“I’m fine, but you apperently aren’t. So tell me, what did Gotham do to you? Or perhaps what did the Wayne boys did to you?”

You sighted, taking a sit on the bed, Connor knew you too well. He also knew the troubles you went trough growing up as a Queen and as the Green Arrow’s sister. He was always there for you, so he knew a lot how you coped with things and how certain small things had a big impact in your life.

You started by telling him about the sparring session you had with Jason and how it ended up with everyone finding out about you being trained by the league of assassins. And then proceeded to tell him about what you overheard at the kitchen.

“I know that me being part of Team Arrow should make me understand why Tim was researching about me. We have been betrayed by people close to us before, and I really want to be resenoble about this whole situation, but...”

“But you are upset about it. You wish he had came to you to ask you all this questions.” Connor finished up your train of thoughts

“Yes, God yes! I wish he would’ve just came to me, I would’ve told him anything he wanted to know, and damn, I know this makes me sound like a fool.”

“Just a little bit.” Your best friend laughed “I am happy to see you are developing feelings for him, even if I am a bit mad he was suspicious of you. But in our line of work, we should always be too careful.”

You pushed your hair away from your face, staring at the cream walls in front of your. Connor was right, you were overreacting because you were developing feelings Tim and you wanted him to trust you because trust is fundamental in a relationship. You couldn’t help but think that if it was the other way around, you would’ve done the same thing.

“You’re right. Thank you, Conny.”

“I am always right, and please, don’t call me Conny.”

You chuckled, flopping down on bed so you could rest your back on the soft mattress.

“Should I talk to him about it?” You asked quietly

“If it is going to make you feel better than you should approach him with the subject, if not, let him come to you, it will be a proof if it is worth nurtrishing feelings for him.”

After you ended the call, you kept thinking about what Connor had said. He did know how to give good advise, and waiting for Tim to tell you was indeed a good test to know if it was actually worth it to have a crush on him. Maybe you shouldn’t let him know you knew. Let’s see what he’s gonna do.

After all, he wasn’t the only one who came from a family that knew how to keep emotions on check.

#tim drake x reader #tim drake x you #tim drake x y/n #tim drake imagine #tim drake headcanon #red robin x y/n #red robin x you #red robin x reader #red robin imagine #jason todd x reader #dick grayson x reader #damian wayne x reader #roy harper x reader

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koriandrsucker · 4 years ago

Note

Hey it’s miss geek here I’ve finished the story I will need to post it in sections so I will label them part 1 by MG part 2 by MG etc

Thank u so much! It was really sweet. Reading Jason getting some love is always the best. If you want me to erase this, I will, but, I’ll post it whole here.

AU where Kori is the best baby sitter in the entire universe… or is she?

by Miss Geek.

“What the hell is this Harper”

“Well I’m pretty sure it’s called playing Jaybird”

“No you moron I mean why is Kori here” Jason growled in Roy’s ear away from the giggles and laughter.

Roy gives him his signature shit-eating grin and replies “I would have thought Bruce would’ve given that talk Jay, Ah well seems I have to do it you see young grasshopper when two people love each-“

“Shut up Harper, I meant why is Kori in your house” Jason was seething, to say the least.

“Ok jaybird listen Lian wanted Kori to babysit her. Jade and I couldn’t say no to her she gave me the eyes ” Roy said, looking at his girlfriend and daughter chatting animatedly with Kori.

Jason sighed, he knew those eyes pretty well. Lian Harper was one of those very few that could get through the lone wolf that was Jason Peter Todd. The five-year-old knew she had him wrapped around her small pinky finger and Jason, being her godfather, only added to the fact he could not say no to her.

“Ok, whatever she’s here to babysit that means I don’t have to be here. I’ll see you-“

“Uhhh well yeah you see about that-“ Roy said sheepishly.

Jason turned his steely blue-eyed gaze at his best friend (if he’s being honest his only friend) and said, “what did you do Harper."

“Well if we are being accurate I didn’t do anything it was your goddaughter that requested to you both being here,” Roy said while he glanced at his girlfriend getting ready to leave for their date and giving Kori any last minutes things she would need to take care of Lian for the night.

“So, Kori and I are babysitting Lian,” Jason looked at Roy in absolute skepticism.

“No...Kori is in charge and technically babysitting Lian you are just here for Lian's entertainment. She said, and I quote, ‘unca jay is funny’“ Roy said smirking the whole time.

“Why can’t I be in charge I can take care of her just fine on my own. I survived the streets on my own until I was 12 so I can handle babysitting her myself for a few hours” Jason protested.

Roy looked to his best friend/brother/partner in crime and replied “I love you like a brother Jaybird and I know without a doubt you will protect Lian with your life but..you can be a walking hazard at times”.

“What? How?“

“Well there was the time you burnt water while trying to heat her milk in her bottle-“

“That was years ago Harper, give me a break-“

“Ok, what about last week when you put the toaster on fire trying to make Lian cheese toasties”.

“I still can’t figure out how a five-year-old knew how to use a fire extinguisher. In my defense, that incidence speaks volumes about your household Harper”

Jason really didn’t want to be alone with Kori.

It’s not that Kori was horrible to be around, in fact, she was the nicest person Jason has ever met. Korina Marie Anders was a pleasant girl who he had been acquainted with six years ago at his adopted brother's 21st birthday. She introduced herself to him and Jason found himself lost for words for the first time in his life, much to the amusement of his entire adopted family.

Even to this day he still thought about her but he was always wary to talk to her for many reasons, one of them due to her history with his brother, “Prick” Grayson (no he didn’t get his name wrong, in Jason's mind that is the name he had christened his older adopted brother). Kori had a brief dating history, by brief meaning literally under three months. The reason why they broke up was unknown to everyone.

However, Jason was not afraid of his brother. If he didn't approach Kori, it was more the fact that he convinced himself of not being good enough and that she would never see him in that way. After all, if she didn’t want Grayson, who all of Jason’s life had known to be Bruce’s golden child, the best son, the prince of Gotham, and everyone’s favorite guy, why on gods green earth would she want him. HIM. Jason Peter Todd, the street kid Bruce Wayne took in, the troublemaker, the dark prince of Gotham.

The only people who he can handle their presence are Roy, Jade, Lian, Alfred, and maybe Tim, on a good day. It’s safe to say Jason got rid of any hope to catch the eye of Korina Anders, but that did not mean his crush went away.

He got out his trip down memory lane as Roy spoke again.

“I don’t really think your problem is about me trusting you.”

“What do you mean,” Jason narrows his eyes at his friend.

“The real issue is you can’t trust yourself around Kori,” Roy replied.

As his best friend, Jason did confide in Roy his crush on the redhead and since then Roy was on a mission to get the two together. Unfortunately, Jason always dodged every plan Roy had. Well, all except this plan. Unbeknownst to Jason, Roy knew what he was doing putting Lian into this. It would make Jason unable to say no.

His plan was working so far, he only hoped it would work in everyone’s favor. Jason’s silence was enough to convince Roy that he still had feelings for Kori. With that reassurance, he called over to his girlfriend.

“Hey babe come on, we will have to leave now, our reservation is at 7. Thanks again Kors for the recommendation and for looking after Lian tonight.”

Jade turned to Kori gratefully. “We honestly can’t thank you enough it’s been a while we have been out without Lian.”

“Babe, please, she knew how to swear in Vietnamese at three years old, and I sure as hell can't speak a word of Vietnamese, so where would she get THAT from.” Roy retorted, knowing full well he won that argument and the look on his girlfriend meant she knew it too.

Instead, she rolls her eyes at him and turns to her daughter. “Lian be a good girl for your aunt Kori and uncle Jason, ok? Mommy and daddy will be back soon, and Kori, you have both our numbers don’t hesitate to call if you need us”.

“Ok, mommy, I’ll be good me. Aunt Kori and unca Jay will have buckets of fun, won’t we?" As she turned to her uncle and aunt.

Kori answered with, “yes, we will Lian”

Jason was still wrapping around his head that Lian called Kori her aunt.

“Aunt Kori?” Jason whispered to Roy.

Roy’s reply was not what Jason expected. “Well, actually, Jade and I were hoping that title will change to godmother if all goes well.”

That left Jason lost for words while Kori and Lian waved goodbye.

Lian turned to her uncle and aunt. "What are we gonna do first? Can we play princesses? Oh, what about pony island instead or how about -?”

Lian Harper was a talker and Jason didn’t know how to control, as he liked to call them, Lian's sugar rush mode.

Kori turns to Lian and says “Did you finish your homework from school?"

Lian went sheepishly quiet and told Kori “Umm, no aunt Kori.”

Kori gave Lian a smile.

“Well, if you finish your homework we can do what you want.”

Lian thought carefully for a minute and to Jason’s surprise, she calmly replied. “Ok aunt Kori, do you pinky promise?”

She stuck out her pinky only for Kori to take and wrap it around her own. Satisfied that her aunt Kori won’t break her promise, she moved into the kitchen to start her homework. Kori then turned to Jason who had a blank expression.

Kori was concerned so she asked, “Hey Jason everything alright?”

“How did you do that,” he asked still in a daze.

“Do what?“

"Get her to listen to you. She never does that willingly, she usually needs to be bribed.”

Kori smiles at him and he feels his knees buckling. He sometimes forgets the effect she has on him.

“I’ve had a lot of practice with my brother”.

“Ah, right.” He replies and resists the urge to ask her what’s been on his mind.

Instead, she speaks. “Lian tells me you are favorite uncle,” Kori says with a knowing smile.

Jason gives her his signature smirk and tells her, “I’m her only uncle that she sees regularly, so there’s no competition. Not really”.

In a way, Jason has indeed been there for Lian since the beginning and she sees her other uncles, from Dick to Wally, only time to time as Roy isn’t hostile towards them anymore but still, the friendship will never be how it once was. Jason knows fully well how burnt bridges are beyond repair.

However, Kori shakes her head “No, I’ve seen her interact with others. It’s not the same way she looks at you. You should have seen her face when Jade told her you’ll be coming over. Her face lit up like the Fourth of July.”

Jason gives her a genuine smile, something she has not ever seen on the man before her. Always a smirk or a tight smile. So seeing this new smile she realizes it’s an expression she would like to see more of. Hopefully.

Before Jason has the chance to say anything, Lian comes back from the kitchen, finishing her work.

They all decided to play some games much to the embarrassment of Jason. Lian made both of them play pretty pony island. Kori thought Jason cooperating with Lian's demands was adorable. Jason thought he might die.

Kori then went to start making dinner for them all.

Lian turned to her favorite uncle and said “I like aunt Kori, unca Jay”

“Me too, kid.”

“Can you marry her then?”

Jason didn’t think it was possible to choke on air but he proved himself wrong.

“Wait what??? Who told- hold on a minute” Jason tried to get his bearings right before answering his goddaughter. “What are you talking about.”

“Daddy said you like her, so if you marry her she can come round all the time with you right?” She asked innocently and again she used those eyes.

Jason sadly replied, “I don’t think she likes me like that, kid.”

“Why not? your the best unca ever”

She ran over to him to give him the biggest hug she could give. Jason had a habit early in life not to live up to people's expectations because he felt he always fell short on those expectations. However, with Lian, it seemed he could do no wrong and with that, he hugged her back as much as the five years could handle.

That’s how Kori found them and she didn’t want to split them until they did themselves. They both turned to Kori as she explained dinner was ready.

Dinner surprisingly went smooth Lian didn’t make a fuss. It was then time for bed and Lian wanted a story. Jason knew her favorite story was Robin Hood, so as he read the story animatedly to her, Kori watched on the sidelines, smiling the entire time.

Lian then got put to bed as Kori left the room Lian turned to her uncle.

“Unca Jay, aunt Kori is the best babysitter in the universe but you're the best unca ever. I love you unca Jason,” and she drifted to sleep.

Jason smiled, kissed her forehead, and slowly crept out the room.

To his surprise, Kori was right outside the room.

“I told you, you're her favorite uncle. Not that I blame her,” she said with a smirk.

Is she flirting? Jason can say he wasn’t sure, so he tested his theory.

“Oh really,” he said.

“Around the people you love, you don’t pretend to be something you're not. It’s clear as day how you feel about them. You don’t hide behind a mask” Kori replied.

Immediately, Jason had the answer to his question about her flirting with him.

This must be why Prick Grayson and her broke up. Grayson was known to hide behind a mask, he portrayed one image but had another behind closed doors. As friends, it would not be as much of an issue, however, in a relationship, it’s another playing field and with a relationship with Korina Anders, who wears her heart on her sleeve, Jason was sure it caused them to clash.

“It’s difficult to show emotions when you're being raised by Bruce Wayne,” he isn’t sure why he was sticking up for Grayson or maybe it was for himself.

“Well you seem to be doing alright for yourself,” she said shyly.

“I won’t lie to you it’s not like that every day. Some days are better than others,” he admitted.

This is why he didn’t want to be alone with her. Stupid Harper.

"Why won’t you lie to me, I wouldn’t be offended if you did,” she said looking confused.

Without his brain's permission, he blurted out “You’re too good to be lied to.”

His face sure turned the color of Kori’s hair.

Kori smiled at him and admitted, “I heard what you said to Lian about me not liking you in that way. I wasn’t eavesdropping, I promise."

She suddenly turned, ashamed of Jason thinking the worst of her. However, Jason just wanted to crawl in an imaginary hole. Anywhere, please, Lord Almighty, but here with her.

“Please Kori just forget you heard that” Jason pleaded.

“Why” she whispered.

“Because I’d rather forget than you reject me.”

“Who said I would reject you” Jason looks at Kori stunned.

Kori is looking at her feet because she, like him, spilled her feelings.

“Are you serious? Since when?”

“Remember last summer in Gotham? You came back for a visit. I tried to go up to you but it was hard, I didn’t know if you saw me in that way, you always had that too cool for school vibe since I met you. I’m a nerd with an Astrophysics degree. Like I said I didn’t think u would look my way”.

Jason was floored. He never thought this would ever be a conversation but now it’s out in the open. He can’t help but wonder what if.

So right then and there he decides to throw caution to the wind and take the risk.

If anybody knew Jason Peter Todd, they would know he loves to take risks. He moves closer to Kori until there are barely inches apart and whispers to her.

“Trust me, I’ve been seeing you that way for six years, I’m pretty sure I won’t change my mind”.

Kori now was blushing and she couldn’t fight it down. This man in front of her could bring out emotions she never knew she was capable of but she accepted it.

“Me neither.”

She whispered back, afraid if she talked any louder their moment could break. And so with that, reassuring him, his feelings were reciprocated he went in for a chaste kiss. However, the moment his lips landed on hers, Kori turned it more passionate. Even if he was not expecting that from her, Jason allowed Kori to explore all she wanted, after all, he thought she might as well get used to what will be hers and hers alone.

So Jason could agree with Lian that Korina Marie Anders was indeed the best babysitter in the universe.

Now he owed the smug Roy a huge favor.

Hmm, maybe playful revenge is how he’ll show his appreciation. After all, he can’t lose his touch now, can he?

#jaykori #jason todd #koriand'r #starfire

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katlivesinthewoods · 4 years ago

Text

Some vaporwave Dandy + some headcanons!

some dandy Dandy headcanons

》Andy is 150% calmer since they started going out. Like Barely Ever Angry

》Sometimes Dan goes from Boyfriend Mode to Therapist Mode and Andy needs to remind him to take a step back

》Dan is the BEST at comforting Andy when he feels dysphoric and is ALWAYS prepared to help, even at 4 am

》They Never fight Ever because Dan is basically a free relationship counselor

》They probably go for ice cream A Lot

》Dan is like 5'10" and Andy is 5'5" - the latter DEMANDS piggybacks, especially while his leg is still healing

》Lots and lots of cuddles!!!

》Dan wears Andy's jersey number RELIGIOUSLY, even if there's not a game that day and after he graduates. Conversely, Andy NEVER wears Dan's but he makes up for it by being the literal loudest person in the crowd

》Whenever Andy has a game Dan writes "KING KANG IS MY BADASS BOYFRIEND" on his chest for everyone to see and 100% screams the loudest

》Dan eventually takes his Supportive Boyfriend Role to the next level when he literally takes on the role of the Westchester Wolf mascot (the extra cash doesn't hurt, either)

At first he doesn't tell Andy because he wants it to be a surprise and everyone's like "wtf why is Chester showering King Kang with all this affection???"

And Andy is still super confused until he hugs Chester after the game and Dan is just loudly whispering "ANDY IT'S ME"

》Ice cream dates!

》Also probably workout dates at the gym! Gotta help support each other

》They always go on bike rides together no matter what time of day or night

》Tom buys them a tandem bike as a joke but joke's on him!!! They use it all the time

》"Enjoy your old people bike, losers”

"Don't worry, we do"

"Wtf you're supposed to hate it"

》Speaking of Tom, he's a very jealous boy (but still very supportive of the relationship) because Andy spends like- ONE less hour a day with him since he started going out with Dan

》Before Andy gets top surgery, Dan always reminds him to take off his binder at 8-hour intervals and change into a non-supporting sports bra before a game or else he'll forget

》Dan is a pretty Rich Boye and helps Andy pay for his T prescription, and Andy is super grateful because he wasn't able to before. And three months in, they're chatting one day and out of the blue Dan just goes "God, your voice is almost deeper than mine already!" And externally Andy starts teasing him about it but inside he's crying and fluffy and soft because Validation!!!

》On top of that he helps pay for his top surgery too and at first Andy REFUSES to accept, but Dan drops the L word for the first time and Andy MELTS

》Once Andy finally gets the surgery Dan kisses his scars whenever he can (once they've healed so he doesn't hurt his boye) because they mean so much to both of them. However, Andy is Very Very Ticklish and has the Most Infectious Laughter Ever so they always end up in fits of giggles

》Dan takes literally every possible chance he can to validate Andy

》There are some Very Rare days when Andy feels absolutely awful and whenever Therapist Dan tries to help, it basically goes nowhere. But one day Andy's just pissed at the world in general and when Dan offers to help Andy snaps at him

》On top of this Andy sometimes has periods of heavy dysphoria where he doesn't believe anything Dan says and it hurts them both but Dan knows that he just needs a lil time to himself (and a LOT of chocolate ice cream)

》ICE CREAM DATES!!

》Andy is VERY particular about his hair - once he does it for the day, NO ONE is allowed to touch it. But then Mister Dan Pierce comes along when they're cuddling and he runs his fingers through Andy's hair and he just MELTS

》They wear cute couple costumes EVERY chance they get. Their top five favourites are:

>Andy as Mario and Dan as Princess Peach

>Andy as Wario and Dan as Waluigi

>Andy as Mermaid Man and Dan as Barnacle Boy

>Andy as Dan and Dan as Andy

>Andy as a dragon and Dan as a princess

》The group with be chilling wherever and Dan will suddenly go "Oh my God you guys I love Andy so much"

"We know, you said the same thing five minutes ago-"

》They move in with each other almost IMMEDIATELY after Andy graduates and their apartment becomes the go-to hangout place for their friend group

》They end up getting like, three BIG doggos

》The doggos are most likely a St. Bernard, an Alaskan Malamute, and honestly probably a Wolfdog

》And after ILB, Tom convinces Harper to let Dandy keep the coyote too, and it takes some time but Dan eventually is able to convince the landlord to keep him 'cause he's basically an oversized pupper

》They basically run a dog shelter and any time anyone comes over they basically Drown in Doggo (tm)

》Andy always has to get his way or Dan will FITE

》And if someone has the AUDACITY to insult Andy in front of Dan, someone's wig is boutta get snatched

》One day they're goofing off and doing that "age and gender" face recognition thing and it says that Andy looks like a 12-year-old girl-

Dan RIOTS, like he's genuinely so upset and Andy is just cracking up because it's hilarious

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANDY"

"KSHSKS YEAH IT IS"*

》Whenever they play basketball Andy keeps "accidentally" messing up, and vice versa with football

》ICE!!! CREAM!!! DATES!!!

》Andy gets hit on A Lot, even when Dan's around, and he gets Super Flustered and Dan is just cracking up before explaining they're together. Sometimes he'll say they're married just to make Andy Extra Flustered

》They 100% dare each other to do a lot of dumb stuff for very small rewards (i.e. seeing who can drink a whole bottle of hot sauce the fastest, blindfolded skateboarding even though neither can skateboard, "hey drink this gross concoction I made" "sure thing!")

》Neither of them can cook but you can bet your ass they both try-

Because of this, birthdays and anniversaries are usually spent at a restaurant while they wait for the smoke to clear out of the apartment

》They actually go on Real Dates like restaurants, beaches, movie theatres, bowling alleys, mini golfing, etc.

》It's 100% Dan who eventually proposes and it's probably when they're glow-in-the-dark bowling and they've doodled all over each other in highlighter so their skin glows. He gets a ring pop from one of those fancy candy dispensers and proposes with that (even though it's their shared least favourite flavour) because he Just Can't Wait

》Their eventual kid 100% becomes a vet because of all the doggos

》And when they do finally adopt it doesn't take long to adjust because Dan is already the group mom and Andy is group dad

》TOM IS THE BEST GODFATHER!!!

》Their kid is Spoiled As Fuck because their dads are literally both renowned in their fields and thus Very Rich (Andy is a big basketball star and Dan probably has three self-help books and a booming therapy business)

》Whenever they need a babysitter the ENTIRE GROUP comes to look after the kid. Shenanigans always ensue

》ICE CREAM DATES!!!!!

#choices #ilitw #it lives in the woods #play choices #it lives choices #it lives dan #it lives andy #ilitw dan #ilitw andy #andy kang #dan pierce #my edits #my writing

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aphrodites-law · 5 years ago

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A Bit of Clarity 🍂 (4/?) The visions had started last autumn, a year ago now. It had caused a bit of chaos for some, a bit of clarity for others. Two days ago, Clarke Griffin had been perfectly fine managing both her Café and her stress. But now she was curious - so deeply curious about the vision of herself entwined with the aloof Lexa Woods that it was leading her to complete distraction.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3]

The open mic was neither a success nor a failure. It was inevitable that they took a hit following Finn's own event, which Clarke refused to think about. She could only hope he'd had as small a profit as Baker's had, though in the end new clientele did come and there was the possibility that they would come again. That was good. They'd had fun, too, especially when Wells and Harper had decided to do some improv to warm up the room.

Despite the pleasant weekend, Clarke was relieved it was over, her body still feeling the effects of long days and short nights. She had what felt like three knots in her back, all of them maddeningly out of reach.

She sipped on her own coffee in between orders that Tuesday, relatively glad for the busy pace. Busy meant she didn't have time to think. Gaia, Harper and her moved around one another with practiced ease, communicating swiftly whenever necessary. Clarke didn't want a second to herself. Whenever she had a moment, she went in the back to check on their stock. She counted jars. She undid and redid her ponytail. There was absolutely no reason for her to think about the past Friday. None at all. She had far more important things to do.

Raven came in after lunch hours, peeking into the kitchen while she took off her hat. Clarke followed her with amusement, wondering why she was acting like a sleuth.

“Wells is on his break," she told her.

“Oh I know." Raven turned to her and lowered her voice. "I need to talk to you.”

“What’s up?”

Raven went around the counter. "Did you get him a birthday present yet?"

Clarke rearranged the presentation of their last few sandwiches on display. "Did I get him a present six weeks in advance? No."

Raven grinned. "Perfect. I got him the best seats to this new play - Nowhere Ground - big fucking hit he's been pissed isn’t on his season pass. But then I started thinking- how amazing would it be if I could get him a backstage tour of the Music Hall too?"

Clarke could guess where this was going. "You think if I had contacts there I wouldn't have pounced on them already? Besides, you're closer to the entertainment business than I am. Doesn't your team know people?"

Raven shook her head. "Too prideful. Theater rivalry and all that.”

Clarke slid closed the display window. “Well... you could ask Niylah? I think her dad does deliveries for the Music Hall. He might know someone.”

“Niylah who I barely know and who you dumped?”

“I didn’t du- okay, just tell me what you need.”

“You’re not going to like it.”

“Spill.”

“Well my guys couldn't be bothered, but I did get a tip-off that the Music Hall crew hangs out at Barton after Saturday shows. I figured we could go together, schmooze a bit-“

“Wait a minute- Barton?”

“I know what you’re thinking, but there’s no way Daddy’s Boy will be there mingling with tech crew. Besides, the place's changed a lot since college.”

Clarke glanced at the front door, desperate for a new customer to give her a way out. “Why am I being roped into this again?”

“Because I can’t actually do the flirting.”

Clarke pretended to think about it for a second. “Right. I'll pass.”

“Clarke,” Raven groaned. “It’s for your best friend! And you might actually meet someone out of it.”

“Someone like Finn?” Clarke asked pointedly.

“Someone good for you,” Raven amended. “But if you're really not feeling it, you can just slip in a word about your café to a whole crew who’ll probably end up hungover and in dire need of quality coffee the next day."

“Raven...”

“What do you have to lose?”

“A nice warm bath while I finally catch up on my book?”

“Sometimes I look at you and wonder how the fuck you’re single, but then these words come out of your mouth and I remember.”

“You kiss Wells with that mouth?”

“And he loves it. Come on, Clarke. Please?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Fine. But if anyone makes puns about my buns, I’m out.”

“Fair.”

* * *

Clarke met Octavia Blake just ten minutes after stepping into Barton that Saturday night. Clarke had opted for dark fitted pants and a low-cut top paired with her midnight blue blazer, though in this weather she'd regretted not taking her coat instead. She'd curled her hair and made an effort with her makeup, just enough to at least cover her fatigue.

Clarke hadn't been to Barton since college, where, yes, she had regrettably met Finn and fallen for his then boyish charm. She'd been swept up in the thrill of dating a politician's son and he'd been after a way to hurt his long-distance girlfriend - that was all there was to know about it all. Clarke's regret was that she had been blind for too long. But Raven was right to say the place was different - and the last time they'd all been here felt like forever ago now. Finn himself hadn't changed much, but Clarke hardly recognized herself in pictures from that time, where her hair went down to her waist and most of her clothes were paint-stained. Everything had been different then; less predictable maybe.

But there was something comforting about habits too. Clarke had that feeling when they walked into the bar, suddenly recognizing everything from the tables to the ceiling. It wasn’t the place that had changed but the people. Gone were the college juniors and seniors, now working adults with better clothes and sharper features. Barton had a sprawling design, with small rooms connected to each other and three different bars. Raven grabbed her hand and led her to the busiest one, where the people couldn't be mistaken for anything other than theater crew. Huddled together with beers in hand, they wore sweatshirts and baseball caps and some even still with gaffer tape hanging from lanyards at the side of their jeans.

By the sound of them, they were happy to be done for the weekend. There was something infectious about their energy and their tired grins.

"Raven fucking Reyes!" A woman called out after they had gotten their beers.

"Octavia?" Raven gasped aloud. "What the fuck?"

Before Clarke even saw it coming, Octavia had wrapped her arms around Raven and just about lifted her off the ground.

"Shit, what did they feed you at Yale?" Raven asked while laughing.

Octavia stepped back with a wide smile. "Just the regular ramen, but I did take up boxing."

"Figures." Raven turned to Clarke. "Clarke, this is Octavia - a little punk I used to tutor."

"Would've never gotten into Yale without that big brain helping me," Octavia added. "What've you been up to?"

"Definitely didn't pack on more muscle. I'm at sound engineer at the Swan House."

"Awesome, lots of sound people around tonight. I'll introduce you guys."

Raven glanced at Clarke with a knowing smirk. "Perfect."

"Do you work at the Music Hall?" Clarke asked Octavia.

"Not exclusively. I'm a stunt coordinator," Octavia said, clearly proud. "I'm also an instructor at my friend's gym in the Green Strip."

"Damn," Raven said. "How the hell did you land in Costial after I kicked your ass to Yale?"

Octavia chuckled. “Well I did meet the love of my life at Yale - it just worked out that his family's here in theater city and we could both find plenty of work."

“Is he here?" Raven asked.

"Oh he's always a bit longer after shows, but he'll be around soon. Come on, let me introduce you both to the crew."

* * *

They met riggers and lighting technicians, costumers and makeup artists. Clarke had forgotten how nice it was to see new faces without waiting to hear their order. It was almost like a reflex now, but everyone was warm and welcoming. Clarke had no doubt that Raven would get Wells his backstage tour, and possibly even more.

After a while they sat at one of the side tables, starting on their second beers. Clarke was listening to Octavia when she looked up and the widest smile spread on her face.

"Linc'!" she called.

Clarke froze in her seat, cursing her bad luck. Octavia's boyfriend, the playwright.

His cousin was right by his side like she had been at the Polis Hotel, looking more jaded than Clarke could imagine anyone being at Barton. When their eyes met, Lexa stopped and seemed to come alive. But Clarke refused to back down this time, remembering how she'd been the one to look away at the party. Lexa had still been a mystery then. It had felt exciting to catch each other across a crowded room. Now Clarke only felt her own pride refusing to let this woman have any lasting hold on her.

Finally Lexa did look away, glancing toward the bar before she walked there. Octavia dragged her boyfriend toward their table.

"Linc', this is Raven and her friend Clarke. Guys, this is Lincoln."

"Raven who got you into Yale?" Lincoln asked with a kind smile.

"Psh, she got herself into Yale," Raven answered. "I just nudged her in the right direction."

* * *

After a while, Clarke excused herself from their table. She'd enjoyed hearing Lincoln talk about the play - and both Raven and her had plenty theater gossip to regale Wells with - but eventually Raven and Octavia moved on to reminiscing and Lincoln stood up to catch up with his colleagues.

Knowing that Raven had clearly found the connections she needed, Clarke got up as well and roamed around each room with her last beer in hand. She looked toward the end of the room and found Lexa alone at a table, one empty drink in hand and her phone in the other.

Of course.

Lexa looked up at the very moment, and surprisingly, stood up to walk toward her. Too startled, Clarke barely had the time to pretend she had another destination in mind.

"Clarke-"

"What?" She asked, perhaps too abruptly.

"Could we sit down and talk?" Lexa asked.

“I don't think we have anything to say to each other."

Lexa swallowed thickly before nodding and looking down at the drink in her hand. Her quick acceptance strangely angered Clarke. She watched as Lexa regained her isolated table and ran her hand through her hair. Still clinging to her bottle, and despite knowing that two beers were fuel for bad decisions, Clarke stepped toward her.

"Actually I do have a question," she said. "What the hell is your problem?"

Lexa quickly looked up, eyes flashing with affront. "Excuse me?"

Clarke stopped on the other side of Lexa's small table. "You start talking to me, telling me about a side-job opportunity, inviting me to the premiere of a packed play, and then you treat me like the plague.”

"I wasn't aware being friendly came with so many expectations."

Clarke reeled from the coldness. "You can’t be serious.”

“What do you really want to say, Clarke?” Lexa asked.

“It's because I refused to be interviewed, isn’t it?"

This seemed to upset Lexa. "I'm a professional, not a child."

Clarke didn't believe a word of it. "Is that the kind of journalist you are? Entitled to other people's stories? Resentful when they turn you down?"

"You don't think very highly of me, do you?" Lexa asked with a clenched jaw.

"I thought we were getting along, that we-"

"What? That we owe each other anything because we had a few chats?"

It hurt, perhaps more than it should have. Lexa was right - it had only been a few conversations - but there had clearly been a shift after Clarke had turned Lexa down. And Clarke was disappointed. Disappointed that the woman she had made up in her mind had turned out to be so bitter. Disappointed that she'd allowed herself to believe Lexa might look at her differently one day.

"You know - if you want to keep sitting at tables alone and tune out the world, you go ahead and do that."

Lexa finally stood up, her stool scraping against the floor.

"That's rich coming from you."

Clarke felt her blood run hot. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hiding your talent behind your counter, afraid to take a chance on something new. Not exactly eager to step out of your comfort zone, are you?"

"You don't know anything about me!" Clarke snapped.

"I know you draw whenever there's a lull. I know it means something to you, even if you put every single one of them in the trash when you're done."

Clarke was taken aback for a moment, but recovered swiftly. "Not everyone needs their hobby to become a business. Who do you think you are acting like you can read people based on a few minutes of their lives?"

"That would be my job - one you seemed to find interesting at the market," Lexa answered dryly, but with such an air of arrogance that Clarke felt suddenly spiteful.

"You think the Gazette is so fucking important? Get over yourself, Lexa."

"At least I put myself out there," Lexa retorted harshly.

"At least I'm honest," Clarke fumed.

“With everyone but yourself it would seem.”

Clarke drew in a sharp breath. "You know what? You can talk all you want about integrity, but I'm not the one who tried to get closer in the hopes of getting a story. I'm not the one who wants everyone but herself to bare their fucking soul."

Lexa looked like she had been slapped and Clarke knew she needed to leave before they made a scene. It was clear by now that they would never see eye to eye.

"I hope you and your new coffee shop are very happy together."

* * *

Clarke walked out of the bar feeling grateful for the brutal cold. It felt like the only thing that might calm her down. She couldn't believe the turn the night had taken. Couldn't believe she'd even confronted Lexa, let alone snapped at her. Lexa's indignation had only spurred her on, but what she'd said had awakened a snarling creature. Lexa didn't have a clue what it took to run a business. Sacrifices were a part of it - she couldn’t just waste what precious time she had on pastimes. How arrogant could she be to act like she knew better?

Clarke had been so wrong. Lexa was a stuck-up, self-absorbed, entitled bitch and there was no universe where Clarke would take a person like that to bed. She'd ruined things with Niylah for a feeling that had turned out so laughably wrong. Well, screw the vision. No one knew for certain that they were glimpses of the future. No one knew a damn thing.

"Clarke, wait up!"

Clarke turned and waited for Raven, who jogged toward her and then leaned down on her knees. "Jesus, you're fast in heels."

Clarke blinked, as if suddenly remembering she'd left without even checking on her friend. "Oh Raven, I'm so sorry, I-"

"Hey, it's okay. What happened?"

“Nothing."

"You hightailed out of that bar because nothing happened?"

Clarke shook her head, unable to get the words out.

"It's that woman - Lincoln's cousin, isn’t it? She's played a number on you."

"I didn't meant to cut your evening short, you were having fun and-"

Raven grabbed her hand. "Hey, forget about that. You being safe and happy is more important to me."

"Raven…"

"Come on, let's go. I'm freezing my ass off."

* * *

They settled in Raven's car, warming up thanks to the heat. Raven drove slowly, giving Clarke ample time to calm down. In the small space and in the dark, Clarke felt like she could finally confess what she'd kept from everyone.

"I had a vision," she said.

Raven's eyes widened. "What? When? At the bar?"

"No, weeks ago."

Raven quickly glanced at her. "Shit, Clarke. I mean- congrats! Why didn't you say so earlier? You know we've been rooting for you."

Clarke paused, her cheeks feeling hot. "I didn't know how to… It was, um… sexual."

Raven snorted. "Well, you know I saw Wells' bare ass in the shower asking me to move in with him."

Clarke laughed despite how heavy the moment felt. "Yeah, but this wasn't like that. The way she held me-"

"She?" Raven asked, and then, "Oh. Same woman from the bar, right?"

"How do you know?"

“No offense, but this is the first time I’ve seen you this worked up about someone, and I was there during the Finn era.”

“Seven months aren’t an era,” Clarke argued.

"But it was her, wasn't it?"

Clarke refused to replay her vision again. "I don't know anymore. I thought it might be, but she's so… she's just not who I thought."

"Then forget about who it was. Just take it as a wakeup call."

Clarke looked at her. "Wakeup from that?"

Raven hesitated. "Clarke… don't you realize how hard it's been to hang out with you this past year?"

"I'm trying to run a business," Clarke defended.

"Wells runs it too. Are you saying he's slacking?"

"No, of course not. You know I couldn't do it without him."

"Right. But when Wells gets home, he leaves work at the door. We hang out or we go out, sometimes together, sometimes separately. He never misses a play and he rock climbs every chance he gets, even if just for an hour. The café means a lot to him, you know that, but it doesn't mean everything."

Clarke tried to imagine that for her. "Honestly that sounds exhausting. I can barely pick up my feet at the end of the day."

Raven bit her lip. "For a while he felt the same, but then he kinda realized he was making excuses."

Clarke frowned. "I go out."

"Do you? Or do you wait for people to either ask or drag you out?"

"It's just been busy with the holiday season," Clarke justified.

"Before that it was the college season and before that it was summer. Don't you have the budget to hire someone else at this point?"

Clarke sighed. "Wells talked about another full timer, and someone else on the weekends, but I haven’t really looked into it yet."

"Right. All I'm saying is it's not fun feeling like the bad guy for wanting to hang out with you."

"Do you really feel that way?"

"I feel like you've made your business your spouse, but a place can't be a home. So maybe seeing yourself bone a stranger is your body's way of saying it needs something a bit more exciting than cold sheets and a 5am wakeup for the rest of your life."

"You're as eloquent as ever, Rae."

Raven smiled as she turned into Clarke's street. "I'm a genius."

* * *

Clarke locked the door behind her and took off her coat, thinking about Raven’s words and the way the evening had panned out. The anger was snuffed out of her, replaced by exhaustion and a feeling of regret. She couldn’t believe she’d somehow given Lexa the power to upset her so thoroughly. That she’d believed for one second that Lexa might-

No, she wouldn’t replay each interaction again. She wouldn’t even think about her anymore. Clearly trying to cross the line between them had been a mistake. There was nothing to be gained from it. Lexa was only after stories - wanted secrets in exchange for dust, and Clarke never wanted to see her name in one of her pieces.

Raven was right: she’d focused too much on who had been in her vision rather than what it meant. She was lonely and she’d had a vivid fantasy - it was no more than that. People fantasized about strangers every day; about leading different lives with different people. The past year had seen her doing the same thing with the same people every day. It wasn’t strange that her subconscious would crave some excitement. She’d had such a fixed impression of Lexa; quiet, reserved, polite Lexa. Clarke could see why a part of her would find it thrilling to draw her out of her shell. To be the focus of Lexa’s razor-sharp attention and deft hands.

But her impression had been wrong. She’d acted on something that was never there in the first place. She'd let the vision influence her to the point of acting completely out of character. That was her mistake.

Clarke took off her heels and walked to the bathroom to wash up. She put her hair up, washed her face, put on her pajamas and slipped into bed with the covers up to her neck. All she had to do was sleep it off. Tomorrow she could put these past few weeks behind her. Move past the vision.

Lexa was never going to be a part of her life. She wasn’t a stranger or even a customer anymore. She wasn’t anything at all. Clarke turned around and buried her face in her pillow.

[part five]

#clexa #clarke x lexa #clexa fic #f: a bit of clarity #so... yikes?#w

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trippingtrixharper · 4 years ago

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◊ ♫ ◊— look what the cat dragged in! that’s [BEATRICE HARPER] and [SHE/HER] are/is an around [25]-year-old [CASUAL VISITOR] to the store, but they’ve been in the neighborhood for [5 YEARS]. I think they are a(n) [EMPLOYEE AT ROSE DINER] and I overheard them listening to [ROLLER DERBY SAVED MY SOUL] by [UNCLE LEON & THE ALIBIS], and, I dunno man, it seemed pretty fitting. Like, call me shallow but I look at them and think of [MILENA TSCHARNTKE] and [FRESHLY SCRAPED KNEES, BURPING CONTESTS WHILE TRYING TO CATCH POPCORN IN YOUR MOUTH, WORN OUT ROLLER BLADES]. (ooc info: chels/toon, she/her, est, 23)

hi it’s your girl toon, ready to give you love!!!

SOME BASICS ABOUT TRIX

Birthplace: Ridgewood, Queens

Sexuality: Bisexual

Birthday: May 27th, 1995 (Gemini)

Personality: Trix is full of fire and energy. She craves fun and colorful personalities, she loves to say long live rock & roll like a super fan while barely knowing all the classics. Her favorite day of the week is Lazy Sundays which is just an excuse to stay in her three day old pajamas all day while eating popcorn and binge watching television, she absolutely hates being 25 (one day she’ll blink and be 30, and then she’ll have to kill herself), shitty action films make up her entire DVD collection (yes, she still has DVDs), and due to being heavily invested in the NYC Roller Derby community (and just downright careless) she is queen of the mystery bruises. She doesn’t have the best sense of personal space and social cues, often saying the first thing that comes to mind, but she’s really just out here trying to be herself.

Music: Trix is not musically inclined. She loves music but she’s never played an instrument in her life and is more of an audience/the type of person to sit at a drum set and go berserk, raising her arms at the end and screaming I LOVE YOU NEW YORK!

A BRIEF HISTORY (ALWAYS....POTENTIAL TO BE EDITED)

Trix was born Beatrice Harper, but Trix was something her father used to call her as a kid. She has since reclaimed it, integrating it into her roller derby life. She was born and raised in Queens, only recently moving to Crown Heights five years ago with her entire family (her biological grandmother, her two biological younger half-siblings, her step mother, and her older non biological brother.)

Her father, Jonas Harper, married fellow New York native Sandra Rubio, when Trix was seven and Sandra’s son was 11. Her father was the primary breadwinner of the family, moving in his mother, and having a full house as Sandra had two more kids. Trix always had a super close bond with her siblings.

When her father died her junior year of high school, she felt her family cripple under the financial burden, and instead of pursuing her own dreams she opted for working when she could to help contribute. (It’s not like she had an inch of an idea what she wanted to do with her life anyway.)

She’s been working at on-and-off at Rose Dinner ever since, and they let her wear her skates at work because the guests tip her better when she does. She’s left a few times to pursue other jobs but her restlessness and inability to commit keeps her coming back. She still lives at home because it makes the bills easier if they all contribute, but also because moving out means like...being an adult? They moved to Crown Heights a few years ago.

Half of the time her grandmother is telling her she’s lazy and not working enough, and the other half of the time her older brother is telling her she’s selling herself short. Truth is, she’s been holding onto the guise of responsibility and family as an excuse not to change what she’s used to.

What brings her the most joy is Roller Derby. Her father was the first person to put her on roller blades as a kid, and she grew up skating, but only got into roller derby after graduating high school. She plays for Honey Punch, and her best friends on her team who she’ll often refer to as their skate names are Dollface, Lady MacDeath, Jenny Jawbreaker, and Banshee. She started going by Trix again when she started roller derby, which made her feel like she had a connection to her dad, and her skate name is The Terminatrix (yes, she did that).

Her goal is to eventually try out for the Gotham Girls Roller Derby in October, but it’s complicated.

Overall she’s a little kid in a big kid’s body, and she uses humor to cover up the fact that she’s actually pretty lost.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

Skate Friends: People/skateboarders/etc who go to the skate park or skate meet ups, where they can hang out or take videos of each other.

Best Friends: Trix is from New York, so others who have also been here since their childhood/teenage years that could be long term good friends with her would be awesome! Any other friends too! She’s pretty clingy and while she tries her best to be loyal, she is the type to switch up plans with minimal warning. I see her friends often thinking “Typical Trix” and may even get frustrated with her sometimes. She thinks the people in her life will always be there, and honey that just ain’t true.

Coworkers: Trix has been working at Rose Diner for years now and the staff there feels like a little community. Growing up in Queens she’s also big on doing stuff for the community/locals, like delivering groceries to her elderly neighbor when she can. If your character has a family that might know her, or they’re someone to post flyers around the neighborhood about community based events or meet ups, let’s collab!

Exes/Flings: I normally don’t pre-plot romances and I’m not attached to this because I love the organic route but Trix has just lived here her whole life and she is very forward but kind of a spaz so I imagine they have to exist LOL.

If you have any ideas feel free to hit me up c:

#if you were confused reading this me too i cannot help you #may edit it bc i wrote most of it on the spot but i may make her brother a wanted connection #fr.intro #bio #IM OPEN TO ALLL PLOTS!!! :)#did i check for spelling errors? why of course not good sir

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idkthisisjustforfanfic · 5 years ago

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Chapter 22 - Seed + Spark

AN: Alright, sorry it’s taken a minute for this chapter, but it’s long and filled with lots of fun stuff and important banter to learn more about Harry’s feelings towards Harper, so read on!!!! And then as always let me know what you think/talk to me about these two that I am OBSESSED with.

wc: 6k

read the whole story here

When I was younger I always wished I had a brother. My older sister was fine--she was fun and smart and there were moments when I looked up to her. But as I toddled around the small house that we grew up, I remember wondering what it would be like to have a brother who could teach me how to ride a bike or play war with me outside.

But then I met Harper.

And along with Harper came Tierney--another older sister who soon started to tease me and nag me just like my own.

So now I had two older sisters--one by blood and one by street address, and the one my age seemed to like being outside enough that I was more than fine with pretending she was a boy--but that was only until we were 9.

That’s when she started talking about training bras and boyfriends and I was suddenly back to wishing I had a brother who would just play video games and play footy with me.

“Hi lovie!” Gemma greeted, her arms open wide before wrapping around Harper’s middle, gaining a quick eye roll from me behind their backs.

S’not like they hadn’t seen each other a few weeks ago. And they were always texting. I knew that if the group chat between the four of us was quiet, it was only because they’d moved to the one with just the three of them--the one that was probably filled with emojis and laughter and topics that I wanted nothing to do with.

“You live practically five feet from us and this is the first time I’m seeing you in weeks,” Tierney exclaimed, throwing her arms around me as I let out a laugh. I shrugged her off as he reached up to ruffle my hair and poked me in the side.

“I’ve been busy with Quinn,” I said simply, hoping they didn’t pry too hard today. Harper seemed less interested than ever, grabbing a seat across from Gemma’s iPhone on the table they’d previously been sat at when we walked in.

I’d forgotten my oyster card on the way over--leading Harper to swipe hers twice so I could get through the turnstile. She told me about auditions for the newest London Met production--which I knew would soon become the current topic of conversation if Harper had anything to say about it.

“So, how are classes?” Gemma smiled at both of us--I looked over to Harper, silently giving her the cue to take it away. She undoubtedly had more to say than I did--my classes were fine. I was confused about my girlfriend and my childhood neighbor who sat right next to me suddenly seemed more attractive and endearing than I ever remembered.

“Good,” She nodded, watching as our server filled her glass with tea. “Auditions are soon for the fall play, classes are really just starting to pick up.”

“What play is it this year?” Tierney asked excitedly, her blonde hair was shorter than it had been over the summer.

I let my eyes glance back to Harper, waiting for her response. She let out a sigh, “Pride and Prejudice.”

This was how most of my time went with them--my eyes flickering back and forth between the three of them--listening to their laughter and jokes and wondering what it would have been like if I hadn’t been the only boy.

Sure--Harper and Tierney’s dad was around. He taught me how to shave and he took my golfing a few times, but he was often away on business and when he was home, his priority always seemed to be his own children.

“What’s the sigh for?” I asked quickly, bringing the cup of tea to my lips.

She shrugged, keeping her eyes on Gemma and Tierney as she responded to my question. “It’s just so stereotypical. And I also can’t decide who I’d rather be, Jane or Elizabeth.”

Gemma let out a laugh. “Who will be Mr. Darcy?”

“Great question,” Harper rolled her eyes again, setting her tea on the table.

“Pride and Prejudice is a good story,” I said quietly, shrugging my shoulders as I reached to pour some milk into my tea. At that, Gemma, Tierney, and Harper all turned to watch me--as if I’d suddenly been replaced with a cooler and less grumpy version of myself. Maybe they couldn’t tell if I was serious--but when no one said anything, I figured I should explain. “It’s a good love story.”

“How are your classes, sir?” Gemma teased me, raising her eyebrows as she waited for my answer..

“Good,” I sipped at my tea again--the addition of the milk had made it much better. “Taking a bunch of maths stuff, unfortunately.”

Tierney tilted her head and eyed me closely. “Doesn’t that kind of come with the accounting territory?”

I’d always been good with numbers--something that seemed to annoy the daylights out of Harper. She was either giving me shit about it or asking for my help on her homework.

“Yeah,” I laughed. “It’s just higher level stuff, but I’ll be fine. Quinn’s got a birthday coming up, and our anniversary is next week. So I’ve been busy.”

“How many months again?” Tierney asked as she passed Harper a scone.

I counted in my head--my stomach did a flip when my fingers brushed against Harper’s hand as I passed the butter. “Eight, it’ll be.”

Gemma eyed me from across the table. “Pretty serious,” she thought allowed.

I didn’t know if I should admit it. If I did, Harper would likely rub it in my face that she told me so. She’d have a lot to say about how she knew we weren’t a good fit and--with my luck, Harper and her big mouth wouldn’t be able to stay quiet.”

“Yeah, she’s actually been kind of...annoying lately.”

Harper coughed a bit as she bit into her scone--but when I looked over at her, she was busy reaching for napkin to wipe her mouth. She then reached for her tea as Gemma and Tierney kept their eyes on me--apparently I wasn’t about to get away that easily.

“She’s made a lot of comments about the future lately, which is fine and all,” I shrugged, looking from my sister over to Tierney--who nodded in encouragement. “But I don’t want to move too fast. She’s also not--she’s not the most intelligent.”

Harper seemed to still beside me, and with her tea cup to her lips, I could have sworn I heard her let out a quiet--but distinct--laugh. “No offense,” I turned to her, as if their living arrangement and Quinn’s intelligence implied something about Harper. It didn’t, really, but it was always good to throw Harper off my trail.

“None taken,” she said, clenching her teeth together in a forced smile.

“How about you, Harpie--any love interests?” Tierney shot her a smirk and waited for a response. Harper seemed to glare across the table at her older sister as I reached for a butter knife.

“Nope, none, nothing whatsoever!” she laughed, shrugging her shoulders casually--as if she were going to get away with it that easily.

“What about Niall?” I asked, looking up at her and holding her glance for a moment. Her eyebrows dipped in displeasure, she bit her lip as she certainly cursed me under her breath.

“Yeah, he was the one you were on a date with the other night when I called, right?” Tierney pried for more information.

“Yeah, but, I mean--I don’t know. He’s sweet. We’ll see where it goes?”

Harper took another bite of her food, trying her best to get out of the conversation. She never cared for the prying or the questions about her love life, but it only seemed to annoy her more once there seemed to be questions in my direction about her peppy roommate.

Sure, was it awkward for Harper to have walked in on Quinn and I going at it? I could give her that. I felt bad, truly, which is why I’d been trying to be extra careful lately whenever Quinn and I seemed to get busy to lock the door and make enough noise so that if she did end up outside their door, ready to key in, she’d not only know that we were in the middle of something, but she’d know that I was enjoying it.

If I was feeling confused about my feelings for Harper, the least I could do was throw it in her face that I was sleeping with her roommate who she found--at times--intolerable.

But maybe I’d been too transparent by divulging a crack in the foundation. If Harper knew that I had any sort of feelings for her--or worse, if our sisters knew--I’d likely never hear the end of it and I’d surely become laughing stock of the dining table on Christmas Day.

That was something I just couldn’t handle. So while I might be questioning the feeling in my stomach that seemed suddenly as present as it was when we were 9 and she kissed me in the garden, I knew that I had to keep myself in check.

Especially if I wanted to keep hold of my dignity.

I followed Quinn out of the lift and down the hall to her room. It was late--almost bedtime--and she was going on about our anniversary plans and how my disinterest in a particular restaurant somehow meant I didn’t care.

Quinn’s taste was on a different level than mine. She liked fancy clothes and polo matches and she certainly had a taste for expensive restaurants. And with my class schedule and homework load, I had little to no time for employment, leaving me with an empty wallet and a love for cheap takeout and nights in.

“It’s 8 months, Harry,” she turned around as she keyed into their room, pushing the door open to allow me entry. “It’s a big deal!”

“M’not saying it’s not, Quinn, I just--don’t you want to go to that new burger place off campus? I heard it’s good!”

“That’s not a restaurant you go for your anniversary, Harry!” She dropped her backpack on the floor and shed her coat.

“It’s only eight months,” I told her, my voice defeated and quiet now. The bathroom door was shut and the light was on inside, Harper was likely getting ready for bed--as Quinn took off her necklace and laid it on her dresser, the thought crossed my mind that Harper would be more than okay with grabbing a burger and she’d probably even like the fact that I wanted to stay in most nights.

“It feels like you don’t care,” Quinn turned around, her arms crossed over her chest.

“I’m not saying that I don’t care, Quinn,” I told her. “I’m just saying that we don’t need to go to Havaland’s.”

“We never go out anywhere nice for dinner! We always just eat in the dining hall or the student center,” she whined.

“That’s because we’re in uni and it’s free,” I reminded her, letting my head jut forward on my neck. I didn’t know why she cared so much. We’d gone on nice dates in the beginning, when I was still trying to impress her and I was trying to piss Harper off even more than I was now.

“Fine,” Quinn shot back, her voice was clipped and angry now. “I’m taking a walk. Hopefully you won’t be here in ten minutes when I get back.”

She grabbed at heer coat that she’d discarded only seconds ago and turned for the door, letting it slam behind her as she left me in the room alone. I let out a sigh--wondering how much longer I could take the fighting and the stark differences between Quinn and I.

I looked to the bathroom door again--it’d been quiet inside, but there was no doubt Harper had her ear pressed up against the door as she tried to make out every word. She was nosy--she always had been.

I walked towards the door to their bathroom and reached for the handle, opening it to reveal and empty bathroom. A pang of a disappointment lit up in my chest at first, but then I heard some sort of noise from behind the shower curtain. I shifted on my feet, trying to peer through the curtain for a second, and when I caught the right light, I could make out a figure: one that was decidedly Harper-shaped.

Instead of pulling it aside and exposing her so quickly, I walked to the toilet--seeing if I could get her to come out on her own accord. She didn’t--she kept quiet and only let out another noise when her cellphone--which she’d left in plain sight on the counter--dinged.

“Fuck,” she cursed from behind the curtain as I reached down to flush the toilet.

I walked over, pulled the curtain aside, and stared at her with wide eyes. I looked her up and down once. Pyjama shorts, a baggy t-shirt, and some sort of green paste smeared over her cheeks, forehead, and chin. “Nice face,” I sneered, a smirk on my lips as I walked back to the bedroom.

She climbed out behind me and spit into the sink, dropping her toothpaste to the counter as she wiped her mouth on a towel. “Nice fight,” she said, walking into the room to find me sat on Quinn’s bed.

I let out a breath and rubbed my eyes. “I don’t get why girls think we need to spend money on them to prove our love. Doesn’t she know that I’m broke, too? I don’t have time for a job.”

She didn’t answer--which is when I realized I’d probably never been so transparent with her. Sure--we’d had our fair share of talks about life and love and things in between, but never since we were 14 and she dated Alec Bentford and I (maybe purposefully) ruined it.

When she didn’t respond, I looked up at her again. “What is that?”

“It’s a face mask,” she said quietly, her eyes on mine only for a second before she looked around the room uncomfortable.

“Does it take away the ugly?” He laughed, hoping that an insult would somehow press an imaginary reset button--allowing us to go back to how things normally were.

“Get out,” she said, pointing towards the door with her index finger.

“Oh jesus, Harper, relax,” I groaned. “I’m kidding.”

She watched me for a minute, almost as if she knew something had changed. She could feel the sudden change in the air that maybe, I didn’t hate her as much as I pretended.

Another moment of silence before she spoke. “Do you really think Quinn is--annoying?”

I was silent, staring at the floor in thought. Should I be honest? Should I tell Harper Coleman that her roommate was fine, but I was more interested in what type of burger she would order if I took her on a date?

I decided against that. “I mean, she can be. You heard her.”

She nodded, her arms crossed over her chest now as if to hide her old Kelly Clarkson t-shirt. “Do you love her?”

“I guess so,” I shrugged, unsure of how to answer. I mean, I told her I did, there were moments where I felt it was true. But lately, my mind was elsewhere. My mind was on the blatantly American girl with a loud laugh and a big personality.

She scoffed a bit at that, her eyebrows dipped to let me know she didn't like my answer. “You guess so?”

I rolled my eyes at this, suddenly feeling uncomfortably close to her. I moved over to her desk and studied the pictures on it as she stood in the middle of the room.There was one of her and Tierney with their parents, one with Gemma and Tierney from her 18th birthday, and then an obnoxious selfie of her and Millie in matching blue dresses from our first year.

“That’s what I said--isn’t it?”

She at on her bed, watching as I picked up the frame with the photo of her and Millie inside. I studied it for a second but then placed it back on her desk. “I’ll see you later,” I grunted, moving towards the door.

With my hand on the knob and a rush of adrenaline in my veins, I looked over my shoulder as I opened the door a crack. “You look good in blue.”

I was walking to class on Thursday morning when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I reached a hand in and felt the cool glass of the screen as I pulled it out into the chilled morning air. Quinn’s name was on the screen, and from the preview of her first words, I could already tell she was still upset about the fight we’d had a few nights earlier.

If I was going to pay attention in class, the last thing I needed was to be fighting with her via text message so early in the morning. I slipped it back into my pocket just as I walked into the building where my class was.

When I first started at London Met, I prayed to the gods of scheduling that my classes would be Harper-free. It only felt fair that I’d done my time throughout the earlier portion of my life where she’d been rather inescapable. Now, it seemed, was my time to live a life away from her and figure out what life was like without hearing her too-loud laugh just a few feet behind me wherever I went.

That’s why I was so upset when I first learned that she’d also been accepted to London Met and even more so when I learned she would be attending. Our mums used it as an excuse to carpool into London on move-in day, and it seemed to excite Gemma and Tierney even more.

So I tried hard at first to steer clear of her--I did my best to ignore her in the dining hall, I tried to just pretend I didn’t even know who she was.

That only lasted a few weeks until I needed her to show me how to use the campus washer-dryers. Then I realized her roommate was rather fit and that me dating her would likely irk Harper to the point that she wanted nothing to do with me. Which, hopefully, would lead to the subsiding of the confusing feelings I felt whenever she said something equally annoying and endearing. It’d been 14 years and I’d yet to really find a way to get rid of them.

So when I walked into the one class I had with her and realized that the only open seat was directly beside her, I probably rolled my eyes a little too obviously. How was I supposed to figure out how I felt about anyone if I could never get space?

I slid into the seat in silence, thankful for the fact that Professor Kirkland’s back was to the board as she began her twice-weekly lecture. Harper--who typically offered at least a smile--seemed to not even glance in my direction when looked over at her.

Instead, she typed away on her computer, blew a bubble with the gum in her mouth, and let her eyes flicker up to the board every few seconds.

A few minutes passed and she still pretended I wasn’t here. Professor Kirkland droned on. I started to bounce my leg.

Nothing.

A few more minutes, I cleared my throat twice, shifted in my seat, looked back over at her. Her fingers hit her keyboard with more force now, she squinted her eyes at the board and then looked back down to her laptop.

I tapped my pencil on my notebook three times, eyes glued to her face.

She turned to me quickly when Professor Kirkland wasn’t looking, her eyes pointed and angry. “What do you want?” She whisper-hissed at me.

I leaned in closer to her to keep my voice quiet. “Did, err---did Quinn say anything the other night when she came back?”

She rolled her eyes--as if my question wasn’t nearly as important as she expected it to be. “No, she was just upset.”

I tilted my head to the side--a curiosity growing in my gut as I was plagued with a thousand questions. Had Quinn actually been upset? Was she angry and Harper was feeling more loyal to her roommate than she was to the kid with floppy hair that grew up down the street?

And why was Harper ignoring me this morning? What had I done within the last few days to bother her? Did she even care that my relationship with Quinn was headed downhill?

“How upset?”

She rolled her eyes again. “Very, now shut up!”

I leaned back quickly, taken back by her words and her attitude--one that I was used to, but one that usually felt more playful than in the present moment. I stared at her again, her blonde hair was pulled up into a pony-tail at the back of her head. She had a bright coloured headband on, she pulled at the sleeve of her sweatshirt and rested her chin in her hand.

“I think I might break up with her,” I said quietly, my eyes still on her as she tried to face forward.

But this worked--her eyes went wide and her hand shot up faster than ever. “Professor Kirkland, I--uh--I think I’m having a reaction to...peanuts!” Her hands immediately clasped around her throat as she let out an awkward and forced laugh. She stood, looked down at me--as if I was about to hop on the crazy train with her--and then she looked back at Professor Kirkland, who was just as confused as the rest of us. “Harry has to bring me to health services.”

Professor Kirkland--who was a middle aged woman with short red hair--simply watched as Harper grabbed me by the arm, gathered her belongings, and pulled me out the door once I shoved my notebook in my bag. Once we were in the hallway, she let out a breath. “That was close.”

“What the fuck are you doing?” I laughed a little bit, wiggling out of her grasp. She started walking towards the exit, I fell into step next to her.

“You don’t just drop that type of bombshell on someone in class.”

Bombshell? It didn’t necessarily feel like one to me--but I guess I hadn’t exactly explained all of my deep secrets to Harper.

I shoved my hands in my pockets, shrugging my shoulders casually so as to not seem too unstable or impulsive. “I just don’t think she’s right for me anymore. Don’t know if she ever was, really.”

“I would have to agree,” she said simply, seemingly catching herself off guard with her own honesty. She tried to downplay her words. “I mean, I just think you deserve someone who doesn’t expect you to spend money on them!”

“Why do you care who I date?” I turned to eye her more closely, a smirk tugging at my mouth as she seemed to make a face and look away. She adjusted her bag on her shoulder and blinked a few times.

“I don’t!” She claimed. “I just want you to be happy.”

A fluttering feeling seemed to grow in my chest--the possibility of Harper caring who I dated felt foreign and new and almost impossible. She was always ready to take the piss and embarrass me in front of anyone who would listen. She looked over at me quickly--just as confused by the silence and the feeling in the air between us.

I changed the subject. “You’re not actually allergic to peanuts, are you?”

She scoffed, leave it to Harper to put on an award-winning performance mid-lecture with no script. “No, but I’m surprised Kirkland bought that--you Brits barely eat peanuts over here.”

She held the door open as we stepped outside.

“I was gonna say--I couldn’t believe I’ve known you for fourteen years and didn’t know something like that.”

She smiled a bit at that, but looked away when I took my phone out of my pocket--wondering if now was the time to face the wrath of Quinn.

“I’m gonna head to the library. Get some work done,” she said, her eyes on the busy quad before us. Students walked and passed by--some were only now leaving the dining hall after having a leisurely breakfast.

I paused for a minute. I had work to do and would likely benefit from some time in the library, but asking to tag along would likely weird Harper out and be a territory neither of us had ever crossed into.

“I’m gonna head over to Quinn’s--well, your dorm.”

“Okay, yeah,” Harper nodded. “See you later.”

With that, she walked away--leaving me to question what crossing that line would even look like.

When I saw Quinn the day of Harper’s fake peanut reaction, she had a lot to say about why I was being cheap--but also a lot to say about the fact that she loved me despite it. So instead of ending things with her right then and there--which I’d partially prepared for on my walk over--we ended up making out a fair bit until she had to head out for class.

So now, I was in the same flat we spent most of our weekends in--a beer in my hand as she laced her fingers between mine. I’d ventured into the kitchen earlier only to see Harper and Niall chatting like old friends--he leaned an arm on the counter and seemed to laugh at everything she said.

Harper was funny--don’t get me wrong--but she wasn’t that funny. She had her own sense of humor that you had to either get or not get. I felt like spending most Friday nights with her and Gemma in front of the telly in their living room lended a hand in terms of me being one of the few people who really got it. She was sarcastic and witty and clever and she wasn’t afraid to poke fun at you. Maybe that’s why I was the same way in return.

Harper had grown to annoy me much more in our recent years. When we were ten and our biggest argument was about who got to use the better hockey stick when we played outside, she’d eventually redeem herself by offering me a cookie from her mum’s pantry or by asking if I wanted to stay for dinner.

As the relationship between Harper and I became more complicated as we grew up, so did the fights we had.

She couldn’t stand the girls I dated and I couldn’t even bear to be in the same room as the boys she had crushes on. We’d go weeks on end without speaking to each other, but we’d always find our way back together--typically with prodding from our older sisters.

It was never long before our mothers had the four of us together for something--Sunday supper, a trip into town to go shopping for school clothes. Our mums were just as close as our older sisters, so no matter what happened between me and good old Harper, I had no doubt that we’d always find our way through it.

Things felt different as we got older--especially now in Uni. We had different friends, different courses, different dorms. She was no longer the girl down the street who I knew would come crashing in my front door if there was a new movie she wanted to see.

I was just about to excuse myself to the bathroom when Harper stumbled into the dim living room of Katie and Preston’s flat. She was drunk--no surprise there--and Millie seemed to be shoving her in the direction of the karaoke machine on the ground.

I watched as Katie pressed a few buttons and Millie handed Harper the microphone, they all started swaying and laughing as the music filled the room--someone had shut off whatever was previously leaking out of the bluetooth speaker in the kitchen.

I watched her--almost mesmerized by the way her face lit up when she smiled and the way she effortless danced to the beat. She twirled Millie beneath her arm, laughing as they bumped into Katie and a bit of her drink landed on the carpet.

Quinn--who was in the middle of talking with Liam about the odds of winning their next match--didn’t even look over when Harper sang into the microphone. Her voice was one I’d recognize anywhere, but only because I’d grown up hearing it on the other side of a door.

Harper loved performing of any sort, really. She was loud and confident and she had the personality where she’d get up on stage and people didn’t really care what she did. They just wanted more of her.

Which was annoying when you were 14 and trying to figure out if this was going to be the mother of your children. I did my best to appear completely unfazed by her sudden show--I sipped at my drink and caught every few words of whatever Liam and Quinn were saying.

Eventually, Liam disappeared to get another drink for my girlfriend, leaving her to turn back to me and figure out where all the noise was coming from.

“That’s Harper?” She asked somewhat incredulously. She was drunk, but not that drunk.

“I take it you’ve never really heard her sing?”

“I mean--aside from just in the shower or humming around the room.”

I widened my eyes a bit at that--I was surprised Harper wasn’t more obnoxious in their shared living space. Growing up she used to make me sit criss-cross in the living room to watch her prance around with a feather boa and a telly remote as a microphone.

“Yeah, well, she’s good.” I shrugged nonchalantly.

Liam reappeared a few seconds later, handing Quinn another drink and tossing me a new beer as well. When Harper set her microphone down and headed towards the bathroom with Millie,. Quinn reached and grabbed for her arm.

“You’re phenomenal, I mean, I knew you could sing, I always hear you in the shower,” she smiled up at my childhood playmate. “I didn’t know you were that good!”

Harper smiled somewhat sheepishly--likely knowing that I wasn’t as impressed as everyone else in the room.

“A very American song choice,” I said quickly, letting my eyes meet hers for a second.

She smirked at that, dropping my gaze for a second before looking up at me as Millie tugged her in the direction of the bathroom. “That was exactly my point.”

The last place I wanted to be on a Friday night was standing next to Harper in the hallway of their dorm--helping her prop Quinn upright as she tried to key into their room. Quinn wasn’t much of a drinker--but she’d had a big test this week and managed to do well--so she’d decided to let loose. A bit too loose.

Harper nudged the door open with her foot, allowing us inside just in time to lose grip on Quinn and hoist her up onto her twin bed.

“Jesus,” I groaned, watching as she slumped onto her pillow. Quinn--though conscious--was already emitting slight snores as Harper tried to take her shoes off.

“How many drinks did she have?” She asked, tossing her shoes towards her closet before reaching for a blanket at the foot of her own bed. She handed it to me.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, unfolding it and draping it over a sleeping Quinn. “Maybe four or five.”

“Four of five? Harry, she can’t handle that much!”

“Well I know that now! “ I motioned to her still body, her eyelids closed as her breathing steadied.

I was quiet for a moment--Harper took her earrings out as she walked to her dresser.

“I forgot how well you can sing,” I said, turning to face her. She stared at me for a second--likely wondering if I was about to follow it up with an insult.

“Yeah, just a fun past time,” she brushed it off, reaching for a hair tie to throw her hair up and out of her face. Neither of us spoke. I watched her closely, close enough to the point that she turned away and walked over to her closet as if she were looking for something.

I counted five seconds before she spoke again. “So what ever happened to--you know--losing the girlfriend?”

I looked over to Quinn, presumably to ensure that she was still asleep. I let out a sigh and sat on Harper’s bed--watching as she reached for a makeup wipe.

“I don’t know--we were talking about it and she got all sad and I wasn’t really in the mood to deal with her crying.”

She laughed quickly, pulling a weird face. “You’re telling me that Quinn crying freaked you out?”

“I didn’t say it freaked me out, I said I wasn’t in the mood.”

She let out a noise of displeasure--or disbelief, maybe--and walked over to the bathroom. I expected her to shut the door, but she left it open a crack so I could still see her figure standing at the sink. When she didn’t say anything, I caved.

“How’s Niall?” I asked into the air--unsure if she’d hear me or if she’d answer. She fumbled around in the bathroom, then reappeared dressed in pyjama shorts and a t-shirt.

“Fine,” she said quickly--almost as if she didn’t want to talk about it at all. I had no idea where things stood between them. Where they together? Were they sleeping together? They’d been on a date and they spend most of the night together in Katie and Preston’s. That only left me to assume the worst.

The insult tumbled out of me like second-nature. “Surprised that Harper Coleman has the integrity to be faithful to one guy.”

She stared at me for a second when I let out a laugh at my own joke.

“I’m surprised you have enough human in you to care about Quinn’s feelings. I always thought you were at least eighty percent stray dog.”

This made me laugh even more--enough so that I leaned back on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. Maybe it was the alcohol in me, but it felt nice to just be spending time with her. No Millie, no Quinn, really. Silence fell over us again.

“You’re a lot,” I said quietly, tracing shape in the popcorn ceiling with my eyes.

She didn’t respond at first. She stood in the middle of the room--her bare feet on the hardwood floor of her dorm, a sleeping Quinn between us.

“I know,” she whispered, her eyes still on mine.

She walked over and sat at the foot of her bed, I shifted to make room for her as we just watched each other for a minute. There were a few drunken voices in the hallway when the lift dinged to signal its arrival--but they were soon shut behind a door and the only sound we were left with was Quinn’s steady breathing.

I sat up, looked over to Quinn, and then back to Harper. It wasn’t the first time I’d considered kissing Harper Coleman.

I thought about it once at a school dance. I thought about it once when we were 16 and both learning to drive. I’d thought about it too many times to count.

But I opted against it--not just because my girlfriend was lying in a bed beside us--but mostly because of what I’d be risking if it didn’t go well.

If I didn’t kiss Harper, she was guaranteed to be a part of my life forever. Even if that was only because of our mothers and our sisters. Even if she hated me, there were a thousand strings tying us together that made it hard to escape.

But if I did kiss her, I might as well hand her a pair of scissors--permission, really--to cut all of those strings if something went wrong and never look back.

I wasn’t ready to arm her like that. At least not tonight.

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mshelenahandbag · 7 years ago

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2017 - Year of the Laura Dern

Laura Dern is having the best year of her career, or anyone else’s for that matter.

I could just end this article here, but you know I have to tell you WHY. Laura Dern has, for me, been constantly impressive with her acting prowess from a young age. My first memory is seeing her as Dr. Ellie Sattler in Jurassic Park, and even back then, little didn’t-know-I-was-gay-yet me loved the cool female paleontologist. (Looking back she also had THE best lines (“we can discuss sexism in survival situations when I get back!”), most famous of them all being during Goldblum’s “Man creates dinosaurs” soliloquy – “Dinosaurs EAT man….woman inherits the Earth.”) She’s always played interesting characters, but, for me, has never really had her breakthrough with mainstream television and film.

Until this year where Laura Dern has excelled in four projects and netted her first Emmy victory!

Sure, she’s had her accolades with David Lynch’s Blue Velvet and Wild At Heart and her notable appearance as the woman Ellen DeGeneres came out to on Ellen. But never anything truly concrete to make a large cross-section of people go “wow.” She’s always, at least to me, been good for niche groups. Her last Golden Globe win was for the HBO series Enlightened where she played self-destructive executive Amy Jellicoe, and she got an Oscar nomination for 2015’s Wild as Reese Witherspoon’s mother.

Wild director Jean-Marc Vallee is one of the main reasons we’re buzzing about Laura Dern’s 2017 renaissance. He definitely saw something in Dern, and her chemistry with Witherspoon, because the two would reunite and butt heads in HBO’s Big Little Lies – exhibit A in her best year. While everyone was obsessed with the performances Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman and Shailene Woodley gave as the main trio of Madeline, Celeste and Jane (as they rightly should because the series is just that flawless), my focus was on Laura Dern embodying Renata Klein, queen of the helicopter moms in Monterey.

Dern’s Renata had me shouting EMMY long before others jumped on the bandwagon. There’s a scene in the second episode where the birthday party for Amabella, Renata’s daughter, is derailed by Madeline - out for blood when Renata didn’t invite Ziggy, Jane’s son. So Madeline comes back and gets plenty of comped tickets for Disney on Ice so everyone cancels on the birthday party. Renata hits the ceiling, calmly, telling her friend Harper (who bears the unfortunate duty of informing Renata) “Ok. Thank you.”

Harper tries to mediate with “Let us all get along-”

But Renata comes back with the AMAZING over the top…well…this.

“I SAID THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!”

Whether ad-libbed on the spot or script, this moment of hilarity, for me, from Renata made her one of the best characters this year on any show. Showing perfectly poised Renata lose it time and time again, especially when threatening her husband (“I will take my hands and put them around your throat!”) or Madeline (“I’ll even get Snow White to sit on your husband’s face. Maybe Dumbo can take a squat on yours”) was a highlight week after week. The entire series was worth of every Emmy it garnered and survived a potential shutout from FX’s Feud: Bette and Joan but if anything, Laura Dern was the only one out of those nominated that truly deserved to win.

From here, Laura Dern turned from psycho mom to plain old psycho in Netflix’s Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt as Wendy Hebert – who’s set to marry Kimmy’s old pastor. It’s a brief guest starring role, but Dern adds so much in those 20 minutes and delivers a fully-formed character. Wendy starts off so innocent, but the more we spend time with her and Kimmy (Ellie Kemper), the more we realize how unstable she is. Plus she helps Kimmy to confront some real traumas the reverend has inflicted on her, and she also delivers one of my favorite lines in the three seasons of the show as she confides in Titus (Tituss Burgess): “If we only see each other one hour a week, he’ll never realize what a useless piece of crap I am and he’ll love me forever, and that’s what I deserve!” In short, Dern’s portrayal of a woman with absolutely zero self-worth is hysterical.

And from here, Laura Dern’s year hits its zenith with Twin Peaks as she plays long-heard-about-but-never-seen Diane: Agent Dale Cooper’s secretary to whom he has dictated all of his many tapes. Laura Dern’s work with David Lynch has always been fantastic: whether in Blue Velvet, Wild at Heart, Industrial Symphony No. 1, or Inland Empire – it’s clear that Lynch knows how to get the best results out of her craft. And that’s the reason why her work as Diane is probably a role we will be talking about for years to come.

We meet Diane Evans as a chain-smoking foul-mouthed goddess who was my favorite part of the mindfuck of this 18-part opus. I seriously loved every time Dern, in her platinum bob wig would take a drag off her cigarette and generally her conversations would consist of “Fuck you [insert name here].” She played so well off her director Lynch as FBI agent Gordon Cole and the late Miguel Ferrer as FBI agent Albert Rosenfeld. But one of my favorite moments came when newbie Tammy Preston (Chrysta Bell) tries to thank Diane for helping them, only to be met with this-

Diane: “What did you say your name was again?”

Tammy: “Tammy.”

Diane: “Fuck you, Tammy.”

I laughed way too hard at this, for way too long. Diane’s modus was basically this for a few episodes but about halfway through the series, her mood changed. We saw her visibly uncomfortable speaking with Mr. C, Cooper’s evil doppelganger BOB created. She revealed that Cooper (Mr. C) had come to see he years ago, but refused to elaborate. We later her she and Mr. C were in cahoots, via text. Was THAT why Diane was so crazy? Diane seemed to be cool when Gordon Cole offered her a slot on the infamous Blue Rose team – investigating supposed paranormal encounters.

“Let’s rock.” Diane said, her index and middle fingers down.

Here is where I said “Something’s up.” You could easily explain her wayward associations with Mr. C, but those two words were uttered by The Man From Another Place in the original series. It’s not just a nudge-wink happenstance, it’s a deliberate clue from Lynch that something is off with Diane. And that comes to fruition twice as the series comes to a close. In part 14, we learn that Dougie Jones’s fingerprints match Cooper’s, and Diane reveals that Janey-E, Dougie’s wife is Diane’s half-sister. No simple coincidence, again.

In part 16 when the actual Cooper emerges from a coma (long story….), Diane receives another text from Mr. C. She goes to meet with Cole, Albert and Tammy and finally reveals what happened the night Mr. C came to see her. He raped her – and it affected her. Dern’s face telling this story is so genuinely pained and she just nails this. Then Diane begins to act odd….really odd, even for this show. She convulses and says “I’m in the sheriff’s station. I’m in the sheriff’s station. I sent him those coordinates, because…I’m not me.” Diane eyes the gun in her purse, Albert’s on edge and Diane pulls hers out only to be shot by Albert and Tammy before being whisked away by some unseen force. Tammy remarks she’s seen a real tulpa (a manifestation) and we cut to the Red Room in the Black Lodge. Yep, Diane was “manufactured.” But what about her cryptic statement “I’m in the sheriff’s station”? Well as luck would have it, we wouldn’t have to wait long to find that out.

In the finale of the series, we learn that the eyeless Naido who helped Cooper out of the Lodge and who Andy rescued, was actually our Diane. A quick fight took care of Mr. C and once the genuine article Dale Cooper lays eyes on Naido, she becomes our Laura Dern again and they kiss.

Then it gets weird.

Cooper pulls a Back to the Future Part II seeing the events of Fire Walk With Me play out – only this time he stops Laura Palmer from being murdered. We cut to the Black Lodge and Cooper and Diane are both there. Then they’re driving on a highway for 430 miles, cross over an electrical grid and check into a motel to have sex.

This is Diane’s final scene of the series and I love how Dern hearkens back to what she told Cole and the FBI earlier about her rape. You still see the pain and confusion on Dern’s face, especially because we’re unsure if this is OUR Cooper, Mr. C or a hybrid of the two. It’s such a fitting end for her work on one of the best shows of 2017, and her exit opens a whole new mystery.

The next morning, Diane’s gone and a note from “Linda” to “Richard” is left for Cooper and leaves us wondering if in a world where Laura Palmer has been saved – has absolutely everything changed? Is Dale Cooper now Richard and is Diane Evans now Linda? (Way more to say on this for a Twin Peaks fan theory thesis later, especially with the role of Carrie Page.)

I didn’t even need to see Laura Dern in Star Wars Episode VIII-The Last Jedi in her role as Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo to know it will be amazing. I knew that from the casting, from her stills with the late Carrie Fisher (something I’m eagerly looking forward to) and the gorgeous Annie Leibowitz photos in Vanity Fair revealing that gorgeous lilac hair. But upon seeing Rian Johnson’s masterpiece that has become the crown jewel for me and many other (but not all) STAR WARS fans, I got to see Dern cap her banner year off in the most fabulous and wonderful style.

When General Leia Organa is unconscious from a First Order attack on the Resistance, command falls to Holdo. Dern and Oscar Isaac’s Poe Dameron immediately clash, and it’s breathtaking to watch. Holdo wants to load unarmed transports to try and escape to nearby Crait – home of an abandoned Resistance base – and Poe so strongly disagrees with her that he mutinies and relieves her of command (only for himself to be relieved by General Organa stunning him). Holdo remains on ship while the remaining Resistance flee to Crait, and as the First Order begins firing on transport ships. Holdo decides to make a stand and engage the ship to lightspeed, directly at the First Order’s ships. Hyperspace jumps only work when a ship is totally free and clear to maneuver. So if a ship’s in the way, it’s not gonna be pretty.

And it isn’t. Rian Johnson shows the devastation in a soundless scene that cements Holdo’s beautiful and poignant sacrifice. Dern’s time in the Star Wars universe may have been brief but Holdo is a character anyone should be proud to look up to: willing to step up when it matters and sacrifice everything for the needs of the many (…Wait that’s Star Trek…)

Laura Dern’s 2017 is something that won’t be duplicated any time soon, and it’s a career testament to one of Hollywood’s best actresses finally getting the recognition she has beyond deserved.

#Laura Dern #Star Wars The Last Jedi #Amilyn Holdo #Twin Peaks #Diane Evans #Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt #Big Little Lies #Renata Klein

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whatdoesshedotothem · 3 years ago

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Thursday 20 July 1837

1 ¼

fine morning F62° at 9 – breakfast at 9 10 to about (near) 10 – then had Abraham Hemingway who came to explain about his vote – a blue at heart, but if he gave me a blue vote (for Mr. the honourable John Stuart Wortley) Mr. Holland would take away the road for which he pays 6/. per annum – there is only a right of pack and prime that is, a horse road, by [?] Syke – and Abraham brings all his Halifax tillage that way so could not do without the right of cart road – Sowden, too, pays for the same and Aspinall would have to pay if he had a team of horses – Sowden also pays 6/. a year – had the large plan down to see how I could manage about the road – told AH. to go to Mr. Adam or Mr. Craven to know what was to be done about being registered – ought to be registered every year? then about ½ hour with A- talking over the matter of Mrs. AW-‘s money matter (annuity on money left by her sister Mrs. Mary W- deceased in 1822) into the hands of Mr. Jonathan Gray – he to get the money from Mr. W. Priestley – then came upstairs and wrote the above of today till 11 5 – then gave little Mary Pinnocks’ improved 10th edition (1832) of Dr. Goldsmiths’ history of Greece, and ditto of ditto history of Rome 13th edition (1834) ‘corrected and enlarged’ and Greece ‘augmented and improved’ by W. C. Taylor M.A.T.C.D. of Trinity college Dublin – 2 vols. bound in dark reddish leather 5/6 each – Rain at 11 5 then ¼ hour looking into books before giving them – then downstairs 10 minutes and gave the volumes to the child aetatis 7 ¾ and told her to send aunt Walker a catalogue of all the books she had on her next birthday – came upstairs again at 11 ½ still raining – fair in a few minutes but inking over memoranda till out at 11 50 – met Holt coming – in the courtyard – went with him to the wheel-race – the present big bottom stone set by Booth is down to the bottom of the pen-trough and if the drift should not be water tight, we should lose 18in. of level – the eighteen of level taken up on ‘somebodys’ order (Mr. Husband’s) – H- wanted another large stone (18in. high) laying up the stone already set to prevent the possibility of this loss – my answer if the drift will not hold water as you now say it will, then the rolling clow is a useless expense and we can fix a shuttle against the present big stone that will save the 18in. but if the drift will hold water, then we are better with only one stone so that we can draw off to the bottom of the pen-trough – H- seemed quite satisfied and agreed it would be best to let the masons get on as fast as they could and make no alteration – better as we are if the drift will hold – the shuttle will do quite well if the drift will not hold – if it will not hold at 1st it will not hold at all – i.e. it will never hold – pumps to be fixed and all ready for going on with sinking the engine pit next Monday – rain – we took shelter in Charles Howarth’s barn – Charles came – told him how his son Charles had annoyed me told the story very briefly of the nuisance-man – H- and I walked leisurely back and he came in for ¼ hour and had beer – A- at luncheon (with Mr. G-) and did not see Holt but gave me £5.6.6. with which I paid him his bill that he brought with him this morning for colliery agency at Bouldshaw etc. – he saw Mr. Jeremiah Rawson yesterday on mention the bank-bottom coal-sough (loose) and staith JR. said it was worth two or three thousand pounds – then said H- I have done – I wanted to have begged you a little for it – now I shall never try to beg for anything for you for it, and H- came away – well! said I, you know I told you how it would be – I will have nothing at all to do with them – they think the Incline is not going to be done – yes! said H- they do – they think it will cost too much – but said I when they see the platform began and a good start made then they will be at you again – then do you laugh and tell them they are too late – I will have nothing to do with them H- says, as soon as we can begin at the low end (Listerwick) we can set 10 or 12 colliers

SH:7/ML/E/20/0096

at work (sell low bed at 9d. a load) and the coal got 2 gates (roads, drifts) from engine pit to Listerwick, and thence to the Incline – and straight work, endings, and [worth] of the engine pit (towards Lower brea) 2 water levels – the coal out of all these will do a good deal more than pay expense of low end – no! no! said I, I shall have £2500 to advance in the course of 2 years for the expense of the Incline and engine – the platform to be began 1st of next month, and the well to be sunk as soon as the platform is sunk down to the level – a throw down (gall) has been found so that Mr. Rawson cannot get Mrs. Machans’ coal – it can only be got from this side – this gall not yet ascertained but they say it is 2 or 3 yards – a throw down to R- .:. a throw up to me and so much in my favour – Mrs. Machan’s (must be sold soon) coal is now at my mercy – told H- she was right served and I would now give no more what it was worth – i.e. his 1st valuation £20 per DW? or was it less (vid. Journal somewhere long ago) – 16DW x 30 = £480 to be paid by installments of £50 per annum – R- cannot get (steal) the Little marsh coal of 10 or 12 years to come – the heat of his engines has blown the measures, so that he must wall the whole of his engine pit – all his soft bed done except that bought of Mr. Samuel Hall – he will have Holts’ feeder of water (his present engines cannot lift it) in a 12 month could not have been thrown upon him (he will not know where it comes from) but for his (R-‘s) getting the bit of coal below the gall bought of Mr. Holes, and for which Holmes cannot get paid – and R- told him the other day (truly) it could not be measured now – (but it luckily can be measured by and by from Holts’ side) – R- can only hurry out about 2 acres a year of Sammy Hall’s coal, and tho’ he can hurry out plenty of hard bed, there is no sale for it – Holt gives Mr. Waddington £40 or 40 guineas an acre for the coal last bought of him (i.e. that price for each bed of course) and looses it – the shaft now sinking above 200 yards deep will cost above £1300. Does this include the expense of the steam 6 horse condensing Engine? then there are other extra expense – and Waddington will not let them pull any coal but that bought of him out of at this or any other pit in his land unless for a consideration of fifteen guineas per acre for each bed - .:. Holt very glad he did not agree with Mr. Walker Priestley – pays Mr. Waddington £150 per annum whether any coal is got or not till the whole sum is paid up – another rent to Mr. Walker P- would have been very heavy – bade WP- £160 per acre for both beds – did not think then what acreage he should have to pay Waddington – will never again big WP- more than £80 per acre for both beds – (same price as given to Waddington) – for now this gall prevents R- getting either WP-‘s coal or Mrs. Machans’ – Holt means to sell his coal at 9d. per load at his it at the top of the hill – (vid. top line of this p.) asked if my coal at Listerwick would not be worth more than his at the top of the hill (very near Law-hill – on the other side of it) no! he thought not – Marsh delves and Southowram a good place for sale – Holt has already bought coal enough to last ‘these hundred years’ – no! no! thought I, and then astonished him by asking sudently (1st time) well! keep your own counsel, why can we not oust Mr. W- make a cut across and join your colliery to mine, being your coal out of my way? oh! no said H- we cannot do that – then he thought a moment and said yes! you could come to us but we could not come to you – it is all the uphill to us – very well, said I – what does that signify – we shall have it all between us – make the colliery pay me and I shall be satisfied – H- said ‘Jerry’ (Mr. Jeremiah R-) had told him he had heard he (Holt) had bought my coal – H- said no! no price had been asked or offered – ‘well! should I work it myself?’ ‘why ‘ said H- ‘she says, if other people can make coal pay, she has the same chance they have’ – oh! said JR- and as if enlighten and dropt the subject - Holt says he can get to know all about how R- is going on, from his (R-‘s) colliers – it was perhaps about (near) 1 ½ when Holt went away – to be here at 12 at noon on Saturday and let me know (can learn from Mr. Haigh stone merchant) what they get quarry-chain at per lb. from somewhere in Wales – I may save 2d. per lb this way to talk over on Saturday with Mr. Harper the steam engine estate given in by Holt and Thomas – tram rails best from Low moor – chain from Wales – it appears therefore that 10 or 12 colliers at Listerwick will pay something handsome

R- cannot hurry out more than 2 acres per annum of soft bed (Halls’ coal has no other) – cannot get Mrs. Machans’ coal

cannot steal Little marsh ditto of 10 or 12 years

in consequence of a throw down of 2 or 3 yards – so much against R- and for me

H- has already bought coal enough to last 100 years!

Nobody can get Walker P-‘s but Holt or myself and I can loose to below Southowram church

H- bade him £160 per acre for both beds – will never again bid more than £80 for, for all coal pulled at any pit in Waddingtons’ land, 15 guineas acreage per bed is to be paid to W- exclusive of this

H- pays W- £40 per acre for each bed – and looses the coal and pays £150 per annum – ‘for the last purchase’

whether any coal got or not, till the whole quantity is paid for .

the shaft now sinking above 200 yards deep, the coal to be pulled by an engine condenser (6 horse) will cost £1300

H- will sell his coal at 9d. per load at the pitmouth

Inquire what H-s’ loose will cost – and how many acres he has bought and how many more can buy paying the acreage above named and calculate the rent and the low bed at 9d. and try an approximate value of the profit

from about 1 ½ when Holt went to 2 10 sat with A- in the little dining room talking over what H- had told me etc. then from 2 10 to 4 10 wrote all but the 1st 17 lines of today, - and wrote some coal memoranda in my rough book, and mused over my colliery concerns – I better and better understand the value of them – I must look into what H- let fall about the extent of my loose – Rain at 2 10 more or less for sometime and at 3 very heavy shower and not fair till near 4 and rain again – went down to Stephen Schofield at 4 ¾ - he came about altering the glen bridge gate hanging – sometime with him in the coach house – had Mr. Gray there to give the necessary orders – Stephen would be glad to leave his present house and business if he had a good colliery job – sometimes in the barn – had Booth about estates for the terrace walls – Gave him the hint to get an estate from Nelson – now as clerk of the works B- might say he would give him a chance – A- returned about 5 ½ in the rain (very rainy afternoon) with her till near 6 in her room – then till 7 inking over rough books – then in the cellar – 1 bottle of migma – dinner at 7 10 – coffee at 8 ¾ - played a game at chess with Little Mary who hardly not quite, knows the moves, and sat up till 10 – then ½ hour skimming over the paper and A- and I came upstairs together at 10 ½ - she ½ hour in the my room - at Cliff Hill this afternoon about 5 – finding the Mill house Miss Rawsons there, would not go in – rainy day – F57° now at 11 ¼ pm – letter tonight from Mrs. Lister 13 Stockwell acknowledging the receipt of the order for £36.15.0 much obliged – will leave the matter of the rent to me – note post paid H-x from Mr. Jacobson (printed) to see his pictures for sale – licensed hawker n°5101 till 12 40 inking over rough book of August 1835 then undressed

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justsomelarryfics · 7 years ago

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Fluffy One Shots

Fics to make you smile

Sorted by length

Last updated 2/7/19 (new fics indicated)

Fight me? - 'Fight me,' the high voice quipped from under the mountain of pillows, and Harry let out a chuckle, snapping his mouth shut immediately because what was he doing?? The anesthesia must still be wearing off. Harry walked up to the patient again, bemused, and tugged at the pillow, but the person had a surprisingly strong grip on them. Again, with more annoyance in his tone, he said, 'fight me.' Or, Harry is a nurse, to a slightly loopy and sassy Louis. (one shot, 1k) added 1/14/18

Where All Our Colours Come Together - Uni AU in which Harry is a law student, studying out in the park to get some fresh air. He is interrupted by a cute boy who wants to draw him. (one shot, 1k) added 4/30/18

Breathe For Me - “Harry Styles?” A voice called out, and Harry blinked in shock as he was assaulted by a sweet, luscious scent. There was an omega standing in the doorway, and his looks certainly matched his smell. Or, Harry is an alpha with a severe phobia of needles, and Louis is the cute omega phlebotomist who needs to get a blood sample from him. (one shot, 1k) added 1/14/18

tastes like you, only sweeter - “Oops."Louis raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “Hi.”“You're Louis. Niall talks about you all the time.”Louis makes a noise in the back of his throat. “And you're loud as hell, making cookies in the fucking kitchen at arse o’clock in the morning,” the boy winces again, green eyes shining in guilt at the older boy. “This is the first I'm hearing of you.”“It's Harry, actually,” he says good naturedly, dumping the dirty flour in the trash and turning to the sink to wash his hands. “But I like that nickname, too.”-Based off of the tumblr prompt "You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry" (one shot, 2k) added 4/30/18

❤ For Effort - When Harry Styles lets his team down during gym class, resulting everyone having to run laps, he expects the worst. But the backlash never comes.Harry's crush, Louis Tomlinson, may or may not have something to do with that. (one shot, 2k)

i can’t breathe (without you as mine) - It's slightly strange that Harry doesn't recognize him but Louis doesn't really mind because for some reason that's a mystery to him, Harry still somehow seems to be smitten with him. or, the one where Harry just had surgery and is at the mercy of anesthetics and Louis is having far too much fun video taping Harry's initial reaction to seeing him. (one shot, 2k) added 1/14/18

Whisk You Away - "Okay, so you met your high school crush, Harry Stills--" "Styles." "Not for long," Niall said in a sing-song tone, and Louis threw a chip at his face. It landed on top of his head. Niall grabbed it and put it in his mouth. "Anyway, so he is getting married tomorrow and invites you to help him bake a cake." "Mhmm." "And you accept. You can’t bake. And you can’t even make pancakes...Bravo." Or...Louis is quick at assuming the worst, only for the best thing to happen. (one shot, 2k)

kiss me under the light of a thousand stars - Harry is a hopeless romantic. Once, when he was younger, he lit a path of candles in a park by his girlfriend's house. But when he had called her out, she said it was too dark outside and she wasn’t coming out. That may or may not have been the last time Harry did anything nice for her. But this -- this is different. He isn’t fourteen anymore and he isn’t trying to impress a girl.No, this is for Louis. Louis, who is twenty-five and precious and so, so important to Harry. He would do anything for Louis. That is why Harry is going to propose to him.~~~Or, the AU where Harry and Louis take stargazing to the next level and maybe a proposal takes place under the stars (one shot, 2k) added 1/14/18

The Weirdest Bloody Ice Cream Shop - Harry made eye contact with Lou and noticed his eyes were very blue. “Well…” Harry started. “Because you have the same name as this shop. It’s a shop rule that everyone named Lou gets free fro-yo.” Lou's lips turned up very slightly at each end. He was rather pretty when he wasn’t yelling at Harry. “Neat rule,” Lou said. “Too bad my name is Louis.” And with that Louis (not Lou) shoved a £10 note in the tip jar and walked out of Lou’s Frozen Yoghurt with his probable sister. Probably forever. Harry sighed and looked at his watch. He had two hours left before he could close up, and, as it would turn out, he thought about the cute, angry boy named Louis for most of them. OR the frozen yoghurt au in which harry accidentally accuses louis of wanting to date a 5 year old and louis keeps calling frozen yoghurt ice cream (one shot, 3k)

In the Cards - When Zayn has an emergency & needs to leave the metaphysical store he works at, a very clueless Louis must give a not-so-clueless Harry a tarot reading. At least he's got improv skills, right? (one shot, 3k, humor) added 2/7/19

Heart Beats Like the Speed of Light - Harry goes as a guest to Nick Grimshaw's Breakfast Radio show and he plays a game where he is connected to a heart monitor. Things get complicated when Louis appears. Or the one where Harry just goes crazy everytime he sees Louis. (one shot, 3k) added 7/27/18

Crush on My Croissant - Every morning at 6:50am the most attractive man in the world walks into Harry's bakery and orders a chocolate croissant. What happens when Harry finally decides it's time to take things to the next level? (one shot, 3k, part of a small series)

someone give this man a baby before he steals one - harry didn't exactly expect to find himself on liam's doorstep on a saturday afternoon asking to borrow liam's son but harry has convinced himself that its his destiny. or au where harry needs to find a baby to borrow in less than 24 hours because he may or may not have lied to a rather fit single father named Louis in a grocery store about having a child, and he may or may not have agreed to a 4 year old's birthday party on a Sunday afternoon. (one shot, 4k) added 1/14/18

took my heart upon a one way trip - in which, louis needs help with a poetry assignment and harry can't stop staring at the pretty boy who walked into his bookshop. the other three are in there too. (one shot, 4k)

you just gotta have faith - “You know, sometimes I was so scared. I thought I’d never get the chance,” Louis said quietly, squeezing Harry’s fingers and shaking his hair out of his eyes. “The chance to do what, Lou?” Harry asked looking curiously at the boy walking backwards in front of him while holding both of his hands. “The chance to love you,” he replied quietly. “But now we’ve been together for two whole years Haz, can you believe it? I always knew in my heart that you were it for me, you know? You were always the silver lightning in everything, the one person I’d always look for, the one I have always wanted to come back to, no matter what. You have always been my best friend, and I can’t believe how lucky I am to get to call you my boyfriend, to share my life with you. How crazy is it? You make me so strong and you make my life so much better, baby.” Or the one in which Harry and Louis met four years ago, have now been dating for two whole years and Louis is ready to take their relationship to the next level. Alternatively, the one in which they adopt a dog. (one shot, 4k) added 2/7/19

and if i may just take your breath away - Harry doesn’t know why, but in that moment he wants nothing more than to see Louis smile. So he thinks for a minute, and then pulls out his best joke, the one that makes Harper laugh in a second flat whenever she’s sad. “I’ve got to tell you the best joke! Okay, so, why did the football coach go to the bank?” he waits for Louis’ weary shake of the head, the tiniest smile peeking from the corners of his mouth. “To get his quarter back!” or, Single Parent Harry loses his six year old daughter in a corn maze and embarks on an adventurous adventure with single parent Louis to find her. Also, Harper is a matchmaker in disguise. (one shot, 4k) added 1/14/18

Only Reason - “We are so lucky to have with us one of the leading experts on beekeeping in the modern age, Dr. Louis Draper.” No. No, no, no… “I know I speak for many of us when I say that this man’s books have guided our practice, or helped us get started,” Harry continued, and Louis watched as the crowd nodded their heads in agreement. Oh shit. No. What? No. But then Harry was gesturing towards him, saying “Dr. Draper?” into the microphone, the crowd was applauding, and Louis found himself walking up the stairs to the stage. Or, Louis is most definitely smitten with Harry from the second he sees him, but he is also most definitely not the world's foremost expert on beekeeping. He decides to roll with it anyway. (one shot, 5k)

Sympathy For The Devil - Louis keeps stealing some of Harry’s mail, which would be annoying for anyone, but it’s especially troubling when you consider that Harry is Santa Claus. Harry will have to go through hell to get Louis to stop. Literally.Or the one with Santa Harry and Satan Louis and a series of misspelled letters to Santa. (one shot, 5k, it seems like it should be a crack fic but it isn’t really, part of a series) added 4/30/18

I made a map of your stars - Harry does not have a crush on Louis Tomlinson. Yes, Louis is very pretty and funny, and Harry may have had more than a few inappropriate thoughts about him, but he certainly doesn’t like him. (Except for the fact that he totally does.) or, Harry is the shy boy in the back of the class that no one really notices. Louis is the loud, outgoing football player that everybody likes. (one shot, 5k)

Accidentally On My Way To Loving You - “So,” H said, “Who are you.”Louis froze. The fork nearly slipped from his hand. So this was it then. The jig was up. Louis would have to admit that he’d stumbled into the wrong party and that, after seeing H, hadn’t wanted to leave. Louis would be kicked out, never to see H again. And who could blame him. He sounded like a total creeper. If the roles had been reversed....Louis wouldn’t blame H for never wanting anything to do with him ever again. Louis arrives at the wrong party, and finds he never wants to leave. (one shot, 5k) added 2/7/19

Peace So Sweet - Louis is visiting another pack. On his quest to find the guest room he finds a nesting omega instead. (one shot, 5k) added 4/30/18

you make my whole world feel right when it’s wrong - “Curly?” Louis says, stepping into Harry’s sight. “You okay?” Harry looks up from where he has two things in his hands, a thick winter coat sized for a newborn, and a sweatshirt fitting a grown man such as himself. He looks up at Louis, stricken, and holds them out for him to see. “They’re the same price,” he says. “They’re both forty dollars! Forty dollars for such little material.” (or, Harry is pregnant and stops at the mall to buy cheap baby clothes. Louis has extra money from working a long shift, and he can't think of a better way to spend it than on him.) (one shot, 6k)

The Stories That I Can’t Explain - “Are you closing?” the woman asked, rushing into Louis' store. “I just have to pick something up!” “I’m really sorry, but if you come back on Tuesday, we’ll be opening again at normal time,” Louis told her, trying to get her out of the shop. “No, please! I-” The woman dropped her head, and Louis watched in horror as she started crying. He didn’t do well with tears. “Please, I just have to pick up a ring, it’s- It’s for my brother, and he’s well… He’s dying. And it’s really important that I get it.” Louis could feel his mouth drop open even farther than it already had been. “Um…” Just then, a man walked into the store. He took one look at the woman and rolled his eyes. “Gemma, you haven’t told another stranger that I’m dying, have you?” he asked. The woman, Gemma apparently, turned to face him. “Of course I didn’t, Harry,” she said. --- Or, the one where no one is actually dying, but Gemma likes to lie about Harry's livelihood to get what she wants. Harry isn't amused. Louis kind of is, though. (one shot, 6k, funny) added 4/30/18

Twelfth Night - Queen Anne holds a masquerade ball to try and find matches for both her children on Twelfth Night. While anonymity reigns, Prince Harry spends the ball getting to know a handsome stranger. (one shot, 6k, light angst) added 2/7/19

Not the Desperate Type - “First of all, I’d like to tell you how disturbing it is that you’re this familiar with your neighbor’s sex life,” Liam said, amusement lacing his tone. “Fuck off,” Louis said, laughing. “Second, that is really very sad. How bad is the stomping? Are you sure your neighbor doesn’t like it fast like that?” “With the amount of cleaning the guy does, I think he’s taking out his sexual frustration on the cleanliness of his apartment. I can’t imagine the guy makes enough mess to require daily vacuuming.” It sounded like the guy was actually moving furniture above him as he was sweeping now. Damn. Did Louis miss the seven minutes in heaven or was the guy angry because he didn’t even get that much pleasure today? “I’m kinda afraid with the amount of noise he produces while cleaning that one day I’m gonna look up through my ceiling and be able to see him.” “Tell him we wish him a better sex life and that we’re rooting for him if you do.” Or the one where Louis' neighbor has a series of unfortunately short sexual experiences and Louis can hear every. Single. One. (one shot, 6k) added 4/30/18

Lovin’ It Up - What did Niall know? This had nothing to do with the few times (okay, countless times) Louis had pined over the idea of Hot Neighbor while drinking. Nothing at all. So what if he had perfect lips and long legs and the cutest little curls around his ears? Certainly not Louis.He continued to scribble away, most of his words indiscernible except for one written in large letters at the very top of the napkin: REVENGE Or, a neighbors AU in which Louis vows to get revenge on the guy who didn't hold the elevator for him - no matter how ridiculously attractive he may be. (one shot, 6k, this made me laugh) added 1/14/18

come on, jump out at me - Harry is a witch from a long line of power, an ancient line that’s one of the strongest left alive in their hemisphere. He can cast spells without a word if need be, fly on a broomstick, and has a black cat (a kitten, really) named Felix that is his animal familiar. He can shape galaxies in his cupped hands and can destroy them just as easily. He can choose exactly how to use his power, for encouragement and support, or for more nefarious causes if he wishes to. And as fate would have it, he’s scared of haunted houses. (Harry is a witch who carries around a stuffed pumpkin, Louis is a vampire with too much time on his hands, and their best mates Zayn & Niall aren't exactly what they seem...) (one shot, 7k, part of a continuing and very good series)

Fake It Till We Make It - #33- Keeping up with the Neighbors“We can fake it.”What?“What?” “You heard me.” “No I did not. Say it again.” “I said” Harry started slowly, “We can fake having sex to teach them a lesson.” It was clear to say that Louis's mouth went a little dry at the suggestion. Or ,Their neighbours were a bit too loud during their bedroom activities and Harry comes up with the worst plan to shut them up. Louis agrees anyways. (one shot, 7k, pretty smutty also) added 2/7/19

I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm - Louis takes a deep breath, and replies very quickly to get it over with, “Well, see, I don’t have any heat in my flat right now and it’s hard enough to go to sleep when I’m bloody freezing—” “Oh god. And my music’s gone and made it even worse,” Harry cuts in. “Well, it only went out today,” Louis explains, “So it wasn’t that bad before, erm. Now.” “Before?” Harry asks, horrified. “How long has this been?” “Oh, erm,” Louis folds his hands where they hang in front of him and admits, “All week.” Harry visibly wilts. He looks so sad, it makes Louis feel awful. He’s gone and crushed someone’s Christmas spirit. Some beautiful boy who looks like Danny Zuko is sad now and it’s Louis’ fault, which means he doesn’t stand a chance at being the cute neighbor from the floor below. And now he’s going to have to sleep in his freezing cold flat knowing he may as well have ruined Christmas. Or, Louis' heat is out, Harry's a terrible upstairs neighbor, and an empty Christmas tree is the perfect excuse to fall in love. (one shot, 7k) added 4/30/18

Worth a Thousand Words - “Look, I’m learning some new stuff!” My name is Louis. My favorite color is green. I like movies. Do you know sign language?Harry huffed grumpily. Why are you learning sign language? “Because, I want to be able to talk to you.” Louis looked small, gripping tightly at the steering wheel. Why? You’re my friend. Louis signed shakily, having to try it a few times before getting it right. And well, Harry just snapped. We’re not friends. I don’t know what makes you think that we’re okay but we’re not. You stopped being my friend once you found out that I went deaf. I don’t know if this is your way of ‘making up for it’ or if you think that hanging out with the deaf guy and learning a bit of sign language is your ‘kind deed’ to the world but I don’t want to be your charity case and I don’t want to be your friend. or Harry went deaf at 5 years old and Louis just wants the chance be heard. (one shot, 7k, bit of angst but mostly fluff)

Always Fearless in Love - Harry Styles is the international popstar who refuses to remove his lipstick just minutes before a live performance. Louis Tomlinson is the tragic intern stuck with the job of wiping it off. Chaos ensues. (one shot, 7k) added 1/14/18

Moon Wrapped in Gold Paper - Louis deadass just stared, willing himself to play it cool, to play it natural, to not look too shocked. So he lifted the apple to his lips and took a huge bite. His mouth, his entire life, his very soul instantly filled with regret. The roommate’s eyes widened in something akin to horror as Louis continued to chew the massive bite of red onion currently in his mouth. “Uh….” “Louis!” Liam called, coming down from the hallway and into the kitchen.Louis continued to chew the onion, trying to smile around his current mouthful of solid, rancid….“Is….that….an….onion?” The first time Louis meets Harry, several things go very wrong. (one shot, 7k, bit of angst) added 2/7/19

Take The Bitter With The Sweet - “They did not,” Louis said in the midst of laughing, which had now turned more of hiccup giggles. The name resembled Liam’s shop name, differing by just one word even if it boasted a whole other specialty. “They did not just name their shop too similar to yours.” “They fucking did!” Liam exclaimed as he slammed his hand against the counter so hard that the drawers shook. “They have the audacity to open a coffee shop right in front of mine and steal my shop name and customers. They serve ‘gluten free’ hipster stuff and ‘kale smoothies’ or whatever, which is mocking my food I feel. The name taunts me. I can’t fucking believe.” Liam recruits Louis to spy on the 'rival cafe', which Louis is less than enthusiastic about but it does lead him Harry, the pretty barista who works there. (one shot, 7k) added 2/7/19

Dream About That Casual Touch - And that was the first thing Louis noticed about her. Not her nipples, or not only her nipples, anyway, but the fact that she was so confident with her body and didn’t seem to care that her tits were sort of soft and floppy and uneven or that she had a little roll of pudge around her hips that poked over the top of her jeans when she wore crop tops. She wore what she wanted to wear whether or not it was in fashion or technically even flattering; her hair was always messy, she only wore makeup half the time, and she seemed to like heeled boots even if she was already fairly tall and they made her tower over the boys. Louis always thought it was so fucking sexy how unconcerned Harry seemed with what people thought of her, how comfortable she was in her own skin. That by itself seemed like a sort-of gay thing, so Louis kept a remote, careful eye on her, hoping to one day see something else that blipped her radar.---Or, Louis and Harry fuck up two dates before they finally get it right. (one shot, 7k, genderswap, includes smut) added 7/27/18

Sweet Creature - It's year 2019 and it's the final night of Harry's third solo world tour. Louis and Harry had spend a nice day together and the pictures of that outing where everywhere, as per usual. But they were out, happy and in love, so it didn't matter. The only thing what mattered to Louis at that moment was the fact that Harry had been acting weird all day. Was it just nervousness because of his last concert? Or something else? Or the one where Harry and Louis have been publicly together for a year and Harry is finally going to ask Louis to marry him. (one shot, 8k) added 4/30/18

You Came Along And Moved Me, Honey - Louis was gone for Harry from the moment they met, already planning their wedding and picking out rings in his head, and after months of living in each other's pockets they knew almost everything about each other. The one thing Louis didn't know about Harry was what he did for a living. Faced with vague answers and question-evading, Louis begins to imagine scandalous and dangerous secrets that Harry must be keeping - but maybe Harry's secrets aren't so sinister after all. In which Louis thinks Harry's hiding a life of crime and Harry just really likes candles. (one shot, 8k) added 7/27/18

Tentatively - The whole university was anxiously waiting for the final weeks of the semester to wrap up, the taste of the summer already hanging sweetly and tempting in the air. Harry was right there in the thick of it all, getting distracted by the very same feline-born he had been crushing on ever since the beginning of uni. Harry had absolutely no plans to ever approach the boy. Ever. But clearly the Universe (or the boy) wasn't a fan of Harry having any control over his own damn life. -Or, Louis is a feline-born, and Harry’s big dumb crush on him is so massive he doesn’t know what to do with himself. (one shot, 8k)

A Christmas Wish - "So when are you going to tell him?" Louis pursed his lips at his sister, his Skype video call relaying his thoughts on that subject perfectly. "Next question," he mused. Lottie rolled her eyes. "It's your birthday in four days, Louis." "What difference does that make?" He scoffed. She shrugged."You can get drunk and confess how you feel and take it back afterwards if he doesn't feel the same." That might work if Louis wasn't in love with Harry. But Lottie didn't know that and she didn't need to find out. "Thanks Lots," he said anyway. "Seriously Lou what's stopping you?" Louis sighed."Fear mostly." (one shot, 8k) added 1/14/18

Love Is a Kitten from Hell - Louis Tomlinson passes himself off as an arrogant prick at his new school to hide the fact that he's terrified of being bullied again. Just when he's getting tired of putting up walls, he finds himself in a local pet shop where he finds a sanctuary playing with the kittens in the front window. Harry Styles is the popular football player who works at the pet shop, secretly watching the boy he thought was utterly unlikable prove him wrong. Partnered together for a class project, Harry gets more and more hints that Louis is actually someone worth getting to know. But the real question is, will Louis let Harry in?(one shot, 8k)

A Pun-derful Life - Falling in love with his best friend was never part of the plan, but it happened. It keeps happening; Over and over again on a daily basis. Sometimes, even that’s too long between falling in love. Or, Harry and Louis use too many puns as a means to make each other laugh. (one shot 8k) added 2/7/19

When the Lion Met the Fawn - Maybe lions are meant to hunt fawns, but in this case was the fawn who hunted the lion. (Or the one where Louis Tomlinson is a natural fighter without a fight and Harry Styles is a fawn hybrid too scared to stay but even more scared to run away. He gives Louis a reason to fight for) (one shot, 9k)

From Vanilla to Jasmine - Louis could just tell Harry that he was only looking for scents because Zayn had told him to get to the store and not return until he found something that would stop making their apartment smell like ‘the inside of Bob Marley’s underwear drawer.’ But that just would've been too easy. --- Basically, the AU where Harry loves incense and thinks that Louis does, too. But really, Louis just buys it to cover up the smell of his weed. (one shot, 9k, tiny bit of angst at the end but it’s mostly fluff and humor) added 1/14/18

Only Been Here One Time - “Good morning, Liam. Harry.” Louis nods at them both and then cocks his head. “Are you aware you have four nipples, Harry?” Harry looks down at his chest, suddenly worried. He doesn’t know how many nipples humans have, but four must not be a usual amount. “Should I have six?” “Not unless you’ve a litter of kittens to feed.” (one shot, 9k, crack fic) added 2/7/19

but he can’t be what you need (if he’s eighteen) - “I need you to do something for me.” Harry said, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. “It seems like you’re asking me to kill for you, H.” Louis laughed nervously. “It’s nothing that drastic, I promise. It’s just. I don’t think it’s a secret that I’m not a.. normal eighteen year old.” Louis furrowed his eyebrows at that, narrowing his eyes at the younger boy. “Are people giving you a hard time?” Louis wondered. Harry shifted in his seat and brushed some of his fringe off his forehead. “Yeah, that’s. That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.” Harry swallowed nervously. He could feel the sweat pooling at his hairline so he wiped it with the sleeve of his sweater. “I need you to uhm, pretend to be my boyfriend.” or the one where harry is sick of getting bullied and casts louis as the hot punk boyfriend to scare them away. louis needs harry to return the favor. punk!louis and flowerchild!harry (one shot, 10k)

Tell Me What You Want - Based on the following prompt: "Harry is looking for a new roommate after Liam moves in with his girlfriend. After a few bad dates he’s done with men for the moment and wants to concentrate on school. That’s why he’s looking for a female or a straight male roomie. When Niall tells Louis about the free room he leaves that little detail out. Louis, desperately looking for a room, pretends to be straight, thinking it would be easy, until he discovers that Harry likes to be naked at home. His best female friend posing as his girlfriend doesn’t work very well either." (one shot, 10k) added 1/14/18

Heaven Fun Over There? - “Fuck!” he cursed the moment his head emerged, hands flailing over his head and startling a few birds that had gathered around him. He was still light enough to float on water, even with his angel wings reduced to something transparent and small. Probably like the wings of a dragonfly. “I hate earth. Bloody soil and water.” “Unfortunate, isn’t it?” a voice said and Louis found the faint form of his friend sitting on the grass a little away from the banks, legs crossed and a wide grin on his face. His wings were sprawling beside him, the white getting caught in the faint sunlight and glinting. “Since you’re covered in both at the moment.” Louis is an angel temporarily banished from heaven and Harry can't stop making angel jokes around him, not knowing that Louis is an actual angel. (one shot, 11k, somewhat of a crack fic) added 2/7/19

Love You To Want Me - “Remember when you had that collection of braces? I think about four of them in different colours?” Louis nodded, pursing his lips before he searched the bottom of the closet and found one of them. He didn’t know where the rest of it had gone but he was sure it was there somewhere. Honestly, his closet could be the entryway to Narnia. The one he grabbed was the red one, the one which usually went with his red jeans. He looked at Niall from the corner of his eyes, noting his excited expression. “They were lying unused for so long. Do you think that I should wear all of them and see if it suits me?” “YES!” Niall exclaimed and jumped up and stood with his hands raised in the air. Niall coerces Louis into doing 'spring cleaning', which is basically cleaning their flat which leads to Louis finding the pair of braces he used to wear back in early Uni days. Harry, Niall's bandmate has a strange but visible reactions to the braces. (one shot, 11k) added 7/27/18

set alight my veins - If Liam really thinks it's funny to send him on a surprise date with a tattooed, leather wearing punk then Harry's going to have words with him later. When he's managed to stop staring at the guy across from him.-Harry's quiet and shy and does all his homework. Louis drives motorbikes and never turns up to school. Their respective friends think they'd be a cute couple. (one shot, 11k)

Cling To Me - "What do you want, Niall?" Louis figured he may as well get to the crux of the issue since Niall was known to argue from sun up to sun down until he got his way. "I've got a friend." Louis frowned. "Are you setting me up? Because no offence but-" "No I'm not fucking setting you up!" Niall cut over him, sending him an accusing look. "Don't be so disgusting." Louis sighed and folded his arms."My friend. He's...well he's a hybrid. A half breed human. He's not a slave or a pet and he doesn't really need anything but-" Louis peered at him. There was always a but. (one shot, 12k, locked) added 1/14/18

Don’t delete the kisses - “No way I am doing it!” Louis exclaimed.“Louis, it’s on the list, you have to!” Liam still felt extra cheerful, even though Louis was already starting to get on his nerves.“Fuck it, fuck the list, I’m not going to sing ‘Let it Go’ at Tesco in front of everybody!” Louis was still staring at his bucket list with a deep frown on his face. Liam made sure to not laugh; this was all too enjoyable.“Louis, if you start by picking and choosing what you’re going to do and what you’re not going to do, what’s even the point of writing each other a summer bucket list?” Or Louis and Liam have a bucket list to complete during their last summer together and Harry is the too cute for his own good beautician that appears in Louis’ life at the right time. (one shot, 12k) added 7/27/18

Talk Dirty To Me - They were both naked. And that seemed, again, like a catastrophically bad idea, but here they were anyway. Naked. In the dark. Only a few feet apart.It hadn’t even been a discussion. The minute Harry flipped the lights off, they’d both shucked out of their clothes as if they’d been on fire. “Alright darling,” Louis said, his hand wrapped loosely around his own cock. “Just remember, start slow. Lots of descriptions. Light on the hygiene, heavy on the compliments. You’ve got this.” As if Harry were about to compete in some kind of athletic game. __Or the one where Harry is absolutely terrible at dirty talk so he asks his best friend to teach him. And the one where Louis knows it's a catastrophically bad idea but agrees anyway. (one shot, 13k, there’s a lot of smut, but it’s still very fluffy) added 1/14/18

i can’t help myself from how my heart is racing - Louis is just trying to be a good friend by working out at the gym that Liam owns. He never expected to (quite literally) run into Harry, the hot boxer who sings embarrassing songs in the locker room showers. (one shot, 13k) added 2/7/19

LoveJoy - “Dance-mat!” Liam voted. “Guitar hero,” Zayn chirped up. “What about a game of Trivial Pursuit?” The voice was deeply serious and even Louis grinned as Harry leaned forward in his seat. Three faces scoffed. “Jesus, Hazza, live a little,” Niall teased. “Is that what a wild night is like for geeks?” Zayn wondered. “No, that would be more along the lines of driving out to the middle of nowhere and camping in a field to study the interstellar medium of the Orion Nebula,” Harry quipped with a little, happy smile. (one shot, 13k, some angst I guess, locked) added 4/30/18

It’ll Be - Louis has always wanted children and he decides he's done waiting for love to come first. However, after adopting a baby girl just days after she's born, he quickly realizes how hard parenting is. Louis hires Harry to be his Nanny, and it all works out great. Until Louis falls in love with him. (one shot, 13k) added 1/14/18

Lose Myself in Time - Reason #15: The chance to show your childhood bed some action. When Harry is sixteen years old he works as an intern at his favorite theater in the world nestled up in the mountains of rural Vermont. He takes one look at the older, more mature, Assistant Master Electrician Louis Tomlinson and falls in love. From afar. Ten years later a terrible storm hits the village, and the theater asks for any and all former staff members to pitch in for the clean up. Harry takes some time off work and returns to help, only to find himself in the presence of his old crush once again. (one shot, 14k, small amount of angst) added 1/14/18

when you kiss me heaven sighs - University AU where they have a morning class together and Louis always walks in late and has obviously just woken up and Harry thinks that the grumpy person who sits in front of him is the cutest thing ever. He's trying to keep his fond stares to a minimum. It's a work in progress. (one shot, 14k) added 7/27/18

Hold My Heart - “Excuse me, mate, I’m the window seat here.” The voice was soft, apologetic, and accented in something a bit unfamiliar — northern England, maybe, Harry thought. “Oh,” Harry jumped to his feet and moved aside, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you standing there.” The other man laughed as he swung a bag into the overhead compartment and slid into the seat. “You were well caught up in that book, mate. What are you reading?” Harry paused, wondering how to explain the fact that he was reading an epic and x-rated romance that was the story of a relationship between a prince and the man he’d enslaved. “Oh, you know, just some fiction my sister recommended.” He turned to look at the man and froze.Sitting next to him was Louis Tomlinson.*** Or, the one where famous Louis Tomlinson offers his hand and a lot more to his seat mate on a transatlantic flight. (one shot, 14k)

Saw It In Your Eyes - Harry Styles counts himself extremely lucky that he has landed such a great roommate. It doesn’t bother him at all that his new roommate is gay. In fact, they get along so well that they have formed an extremely close friendship that takes up pretty much all his free time. When Louis starts bringing a new guy home with him, Harry is surprised by how much it bothers him. Is he not as okay as he thought he was with Louis’ sexuality? Or the one where Harry is an oblivious walnut. (one shot, 15k, there’s some angst but the story it’s based on is super cute) added 4/30/18

In All Its Imperfections - From: Louis Tomlinson To: Undisclosed Recipients Hello! I’ve asked the front desk and you lovely folks are the ones who are on the same level as me in the car park. I found a to-do list today that looked somewhat important because it has lines of poetry scribbled at the bottom that seemed like they might be for a card project. The stationary has a moose in a canoe at the top of it (and he is quite adorable). Let me know if it’s yours! Cheers! “Oh. My. Fucking. God,” Harry whispered, his eyes darting over the sentences again willing them not to make sense. They did, they did make sense. “Oh. My. Bloody. Fucking. God.” The next thing he knew he was on the floor, staring at the ceiling, with a very concerned Liam hovering over his head. "What happened, mate?" Liam asked.Harry just pointed to his computer. Liam bent over Harry’s desk to read the email. “What? This isn’t bad. Is that your to-do list? Did you finally come up with the inside text for those cards?” “Leeyum" he groaned. “It’s what’s on the list.” “Oh,” Liam paused for a beat. “Is it dirty stuff?” Harry nodded.There was more silence. And then, “Dirty stuff with Louis?” (one shot, 15k, very funny) added 1/14/18

The Edge of the Stars - Louis laughed. “You think you can convince some random guy to want to go out with me?” “Oh baby,” Jay chuckled. “I can convince all of the UK to want to go out with you.” Or, a Meet the Parents AU where Harry is the man of Louis’ dreams, and it’s up to Jay to convince him to date her son. (one shot, 16k)

An Ever-Fixed Mark - Louis has zero chance of passing Literature. At least without a tutor who knows Shakespeare well enough to recite it as if those words were his own. And he finds just that, and a lot more, in Marcel. The course of true love never did run smooth. But is it worth it? (one shot, 16k, definitely some angst) added 2/7/19

Pi Time - Harry, 20. Less Than 1 Mile Away, Active 1 minute ago. I think when it comes down to it, I’m just looking for someone supportive. That’s all I really need in life. I know this is an app, but we can find people in all the most obscure places ☺ -H.S or Hot, hipster Harry from Tinder is nothing like Louis expected. (one shot, 16k) added 4/30/18

the love is ours to make (so we should make it) - “I’m.. Harry. I nanny? For Ernest and Doris?” Harry responded. “A nanny? How old even are you? You look twelve.” Louis remarked. Something caught Louis’ eye, and a closer look revealed that Harry had a coat of pink nail polish on his fingers. “Nineteen. I’m nineteen.” Harry replied. “Right. Nineteen, wears pink, flower crowns and paints his nails. Who the actual fuck did my mum hire?” or the one where louis takes some time off from life to return home, only to be met with a strange boy in pink and a flowercrown as the nanny of his siblings. (one shot, 19k, some sad parts but still really cute, please check for trigger warnings)

Heart Without A Home - Louis is staying at the shelter when a late entry pulls at his conscience and he decides to share his precious bed with the mysterious Harry. The pair somehow find an instant bond but Louis can't help but feel Harry is hiding something...Featuring Zayn as a chef, Perrie as the shelter manager and Liam as a helper- and Louis' best mate. (one shot, 20k, this is kind of angsty but it still made me smile)

Sing You Butterflies - Louis stares for a moment before some primal sympathetic force in him activates. He has to help this boy. He can hardly walk, and he seems so young (yet ageless, beyond age, like a sea turtle or a parrot or a tree or something else odd and magical), and on top of all that, he has body glitter clinging to his skin, like that roll-on stuff his sisters used to use as preteens, only pink-gold and twice as thick. It’s, like, professional grade. He’s also wearing grass- and dirt-stained pink silk women’s underwear, so maybe he’s from London. Maybe he’s a drag queen who crawled all the way from a nightclub in Soho just to save Louis from his horribly mundane and woefully heterosexual neighbours out here in the middle of nowhere.---or, Harry’s a clumsy unicorn who accidentally stomps on a witch’s garden and is turned into a human as punishment, so he wanders into a nearby village covered in glitter, still figuring out how to walk on two feet, and meets the fairy-tale-fine Louis, who has to teach him how to live as a human and stop him from eating soap. (one shot, 22k, kind of a crack fic? but still very good) added 7/27/18

Away With The Fairies - Harry liked pretty things. Mostly the ornate flowers that grew around him, the trees majestically climbing towards the sky, sometimes the little colourful birds that flitted around in the branches of those trees. Harry's wings themselves were considered beautiful, big butterfly-like shaped things glistening pink in the light but white underneath, almost translucent. He fluttered them behind him, feeling the breeze brushing off them. He was high up where he could see the most, studiously watching the human life on the ground below. He shouldn't be here of course, he was beyond the borders of the part of the forest where his kind lived, but he couldn't help it. Because Harry had found the prettiest thing of all. (one shot, 22k, locked, you should read everything by this author)

faith, trust and pixie dust (and a little bit of something else too)** - “Are you seriously apologizing for taking out a bullet that was lodged in my shoulder and saving my life?” he asks slowly. “Y—yes?” the boy looks unsure of himself now. “Marry me—” For once, the boy isn’t the only one blushing and Louis silently curses Earthen terminology for making its way into his vocabulary. Taking a deep breath to regain his composure, he coughs out, “I mean thanks. That was very nice of you…?” “Harry,” the boy fills in quietly, flashing Louis a tentative smile. Louis thinks it suits him well and he mouths the name to himself, liking the way it rolls off his tongue. He watches as Harry hesitates before asking his own question, albeit doubtfully. “And you’re—you’re P—Peter Pan, right?” Or, the one in which Louis is a punk Peter Pan and Harry is an insecure flower child. (one shot, 27k, quite a bit of angst but Harry’s character was too cute for me to not include)

Whiskeyed Me Off My Feet - It was the twenty-eighth time he'd been in....the guy with the stunning smile. The fact he also had incredibly beautiful eyes and this mischievous little purse to his lips when his eyes crinkled was a small detail. The fact he had lovely features and the longest eye-lashes Harry had ever seen-well that was a minor observation. The fact he was kind of small and would fit perfectly in Harry's arms?He had a lot of interest in that, definitely. But he was with someone. The beautiful one was taken.Well, of course, Harry arched a brow cynically. He was beautiful, of course he was going to be taken. (one shot, 27k, locked, some angst, by my fav author!!!) added 7/27/18

with your love we could breathe underwater - Harry’s brow furrows, a look of confusion spreading over his face. “But I am real. I exist, see,” he says, raising a hand out of the water and wiggling his fingers at Louis. Louis finds himself relaxing a bit. Harry seems harmless really. And he’s quite cute, for something that’s not supposed to exist. If Louis is indeed having a hallucination right now, at least it’s a cute one. AU where Harry is a mermaid, Louis is a human, and they both discover a lot more than they anticipated. (one shot, 28k)

#larry #Larry Stylinson #larry fanfiction #larry fic #larry fluff #fluffy larry #fluffy #fluff #fic rec #one direction fanfiction #larry fic recs #louis and harry

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