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caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma · 4 years

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Map of the Soul, Chapter One

For the @btswritingcafe‘s Map of the Soul: 7 Workshop

Author’s Note: This story pulled me into long range territory, so I had to split it into 7 chapters to make it more manageable on Tumblr. Here is the first installment of this journey through the soul. I hope you like it!

Pairings: OT7 x reader (kinda); Jungkook x reader

Series Summary: If you give a piece of yourself to everyone you love, at some point, there will be nothing left for yourself. While feeling lost and alone in your adult life, a strange box falls onto your head in your own closet, and you take an unexpected walk down memory lane wondering where everything went wrong. Was it the romances that fizzled out, the friends & loved ones you left behind, the “what could’ve been” moments, the brush with Fate that never quite connected? Could the strange map you find have the answers you are looking for? Determined to feel complete once again, you embark on a journey to reclaim the missing pieces of your soul.

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Word Count: 8K+

Warnings: NSFW 18+ cursing/profanity, alcohol consumption, sexual tension, one night stand, sexual content, protected sex, oral sex (female receiving)

Chapter One: There’s Always Time for Euphoria

March 15th - 5:45pm

Done.

That was the singular thought pulsating in your brain as you parked the car. The day was only halfway over and you were way past the breaking point of your own sanity.

From the moment you’d stepped out of bed and into your urine soaked house slippers, you should’ve known that the day was going to be beyond disastrous. Even as you washed them in the tub and left them hanging to dry, you just knew the rest of the day would be a downhill slide.

You didn’t know why your dog Oberyn was upset, but apparently, it was enough to prompt his indiscretion on your only pair of house slippers. He’d even had the audacity to sit in his bed and glare at you while you hurled your anger and frustration at him as you got dressed for your day.

I don’t know what crawled up his butt this morning, but I hope he’s in a better mood. I’m in no condition to deal with his bullshit right now.

After almost tripping up the stairs to your apartment entrance and dropping your keys into the bushes on the way up, you finally made it across the threshold. You quickly changed out your work shoes for sneakers and got Oberyn ready for his walk. Fifteen minutes later, you were cleaning the bottom of your shoe after a happy little accident found your foot at the dog park. Oberyn seemed to smirk at your misfortune, but you couldn’t even muster the energy to care.

Once you both returned to the apartment, you put his harness and leash away and reached over to grab his after-walk treats. You noticed one was already out on top of the container and the morning’s havoc immediately made sense. Oberyn wagged his tail and waited patiently for his treats and a well deserved apology.

“I’m sorry, buddy,” you sighed, handing him both treats. “I didn’t realize I’d forgotten to give this to you.”

He accepted your apology and head pats, then happily grabbed both snacks and ran to eat them on his bed. You shook your head and smiled at the easily appeased creature.

If only everything worked like that. You get something you were missing and it suddenly solves all your problems. The Universe finally makes sense again. What a life!

You quickly changed into comfy clothes and collapsed unceremoniously onto the couch. The random assortment of unfortunate events of the day replayed like a blooper reel in your mind and you groaned at the stacks of embarrassment and humiliation you’d endured.

You’d locked yourself out of your office and the university maintenance guy took forever to unlock it for you, which made you late to your first class. You had to dismiss the class and reschedule the quiz since all the copies were sitting on your desk in your locked office.

You’d torn your favorite black slacks and had to patch them with bright green thread from your emergency sewing kit.

You’d sustained several injuries including three paper cuts, a stubbed toe, your knee knocking the underside of a table, and a staple stabbing underneath your fingernail.

You’d spilled coffee down the front of your blouse when a fly unexpectedly dove into your face.

You’d even lost one of your favorite earrings while taking off your scarf outside the Humanities building. It was now lost among the clumps of mud by the front door.

Why does the Universe hate me so much today?

RIIIIINNGGG!!

You swiveled your head over to your cell phone screeching at you from the side table. The comical picture of your mother flashing on the screen drew a groan of exasperation from your throat.

I can’t deal with her right now.

The phone ceased its machinations and you turned into the couch seeking an escape from the tragedies of the day.

RIIIIINNGGG!!

“Argh!” You wailed. “What could she possibly need from me right now?!”

After taking a deep breath, you picked up the offending device and swiped the screen to answer the call.

“Hello, mother,” you grumbled. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Oh, sweetheart,” she sighed. “Don’t talk to your mother like that. It’s undignified.”

“I apologize,” you corrected with fake cheerfulness. “Hi, Mommy! I missed the sound of your voice. How was your day?”

“We really need to work on your phone etiquette, honey,” your mother groaned. “You’ll never meet anyone with that attitude.”

“Yes, mother,” you replied snarkily. “My goal in life is to trap someone in my love nest with only my wit and wisdom as weapons.”

“Anyway,” she drawled. “The reason I’m calling is because I’m looking for something. Do you remember that stole you wore for your college graduation? The one your grandmother made?”

“Yeah, I remember,” you responded. “It has all the graduate names from our family embroidered on it. It’s in my memory box in the closet. Why?”

“Your cousin Sana is graduating from college in about a week,” she announced happily. “I need that stole so we can get it embroidered before the graduation ceremony. Can you overnight it to me, darling?”

You leaned back on the couch and released a sigh of defeat.

Of course other people are doing great things in their life. I’m the only dumbass stuck in a rut right now.

“I’ll dig it out of the closet and send it to you tomorrow,” you replied. “Let me know when and where the graduation will be so I can make plans to head down.”

“Splendid,” your mom chirped. “I’m sure everyone will be happy to see you. Get some rest, honey. You sound tired. Love you!”

Without giving you a chance to respond, your mom ended the call. You looked at the screen and rolled your eyes.

She gets what she needs and then she’s gone. Typical.

Knowing you would probably forget to do it later, you wandered over to your spare closet, grabbing the stepladder along the way.

Might as well get this over with.

You climbed up on the ladder and pulled on the chain for the light above your head. You couldn’t stifle the groan from escaping when you spied the piles of plastic containers and boxes on the upper shelf.

Why is my life such a hot mess?

You started pulling down boxes one by one to avoid an accidental avalanche. The collection of dust and crumpled cardboard left you sneezing and gagging on stuffy air and a faint smell of mothballs.

After clearing your throat and taking a sip of water, you looked up and spotted the box you’d been looking for.

Just one more box to move.

The box in question had shifted slightly and was wedged against the ceiling at an odd angle. Try as you might, you couldn’t get it to budge. With a huff of annoyance, you balanced yourself on the top of the stepladder and pushed up to get closer to the box. You heaved your palms against the side of the box and it gave away before you could regain your balance. You crashed into an uncomfortable heap on the floor and whined loudly as you felt the painful throb on your ankle.

After a quick assessment, you discover no other injuries except for a slightly swollen ankle and a sizable knot on the top of your head.

What the hell hit my head?

You glanced around and saw three different boxes scattered around you. One was the memory box you’d been trying to get, one was the previously wedged prisoner box, and the other was completely foreign. You stood up and walked over to lift it from among the clatter on the floor.

This isn’t mine. Is it?

You brushed off the subtle cobwebs and dust and revealed a collection of stickers and decals that were strikingly familiar. Most depicted the many fandoms you followed, but others appeared to be nothing more than artfully scribbled words in elegant script.

Time. Destiny. Passion. Happiness. Faith. Friendship. Love.

You turned the box over in your hands and furrowed your brows quizzically. You didn’t remember ever seeing the box before and it certainly wasn’t there when you originally packed the closet full of your crap.

A loud text message tone pulled you out of your reverie and you abandoned the box on the counter in search of your phone.

Ah yes, we have to keep the tradition going.

Your grandmother and her sentimentality were time consuming, but also adorable. She wanted to stress the importance of education in the family, but also find a way to keep everyone connected from generation to generation. It was her insistence that solidified this current graduation tradition.

You opened the memory box and lifted the neatly folded stole in its plastic bag and the small scrapbook decorated with graduation memorabilia. You took a moment to reminisce about your prior accomplishments and then placed the items on the counter. After cleaning up the mess on the floor and carefully returning everything to the closet, you limped over to the kitchen and poured yourself another glass of water.

On your third gulp, your eyes landed on the mysterious box again. It was no bigger than a shoe box, but was definitely sturdier. Curiosity got the better of you and you inspected it a little more closely.

There was a tarnished metal knob that needed to be turned in order to lift the lid. The glossy surface appeared to be varnished or glazed so that the stickers and words would remain fixed. There was no lock, so you decided to open it.

You didn’t know what to expect when you opened the lid, but it certainly wasn’t what you found.

Laying on top of a folded piece of paper were seven items: a rubber banana keychain, a cute little hamburger toy, a metallic purple kazoo, a gold sequined bow tie on an elastic band, a red beanie dragon plush, a spoon with a floral design, and a thin metal disc with an assortment of holes. You tentatively inspected each item and placed it on the counter.

What the hell is all this?

You lifted the folded paper out of the box and looked underneath. All that was left at the bottom of the box was a quote etched into the surface.

My life and yours are an equal sign, So my remedy is your remedy.

You read the phrase over a few times and couldn’t make sense of it. It seemed familiar, but you couldn’t place it. You turned the folded paper over in your hands a few times and then unfolded it. It’s a fairly large sheet and it resembled parchment. At first glance, the image on the paper looked like an intricate abstract drawing. There were large lines of ink brushed across in elaborate swirls resembling a disjointed heart.

The swirling lines were connected by smudges of charcoal across from blocks of text in colorful ink. There were seven smudges with lines of text to the left of each smudge. You couldn’t make sense of it, but there did seem to be some type of pattern implied. The lines flowed from left to right increasing in width and each successive line grew wider as it progressed to the other side of the page.

You studied the lightest portion of the drawing and read the lines of text next to this first smudge.

Were you wandering around Looking for an erased dream too? It’s different from the typical definition of destiny. Your pained eyes are looking at the same place as me. Won't you please stay in dreams?

The words were certainly poetic, but you didn’t understand their significance. You glanced at the other phrases and they seemed just as cryptic.

What the hell am I looking at? Why would something like this be in my closet?

You were too exhausted to think too much on it, so you shrugged your shoulders and folded the paper and placed it back in the box. You left everything else on the counter and decided that it was time for a shower and then bedtime. As you lay in bed, you exhaled heavily and focused on the hope that tomorrow would be better than today.

March 17th - St. Patrick’s Day - 4:27pm

Oh no...please don’t let her find me in here.

“Ok, no arguments,” Gina chirped in excitement as she pranced through your office door. “It’s time for green beer and dancing!”

Damn, she’s quick!

You lowered your head to your desk and groaned out slightly and silently scolded yourself for not leaving the office earlier to avoid her completely. It was much easier to avoid Gina if you were already out of the office, but once she had you cornered, it was almost impossible to tell her no. She was your favorite faculty member and the only person at work that you would consider hanging out with outside of the university.

Gina had been trying to get you to go out for months, and after a long week of midterm exams, you couldn’t find the energy to counter her offer. Besides, you were now, technically, on Spring Break.

“Come on, girl,” she pleaded. “You know I’m leaving for Acapulco the day after tomorrow with my sisters. If I can get you out of your stuffy apartment and into an Irish bar for a little St. Patty’s Day fun, then I can truly enjoy my vacation. You know how I worry about my work-bestie when I’m not around.”

She pouted at you and batted her long eyelashes, and you almost cackled at her adorable puppy dog look. You half expected her to start whining at you like Oberyn would when he wanted something. Maybe that image in your head that weakened your resolve against her proposal for a St. Patrick’s Day outing.

“Fine,” you acquiesced. “Where are we going, Gina?”

She squealed in excitement and twirled around with glee. You tried to resist the growing enthusiasm, but you quickly gave in with a sigh and a smile.

“Fine. Let me finish up here and we can go to my apartment,” you suggested. “I guess I’ll need you to help me pick out an outfit for tonight.”

Gina nodded happily and ran upstairs to collect her things. Once you finished packing everything away, she was hopping around in anticipation at your office door. Her bunny antics made you giggle.

Such funny friends I have.

March 17th - St. Patrick’s Day - 10:37pm

After a quick dinner of sushi, you were pushing your way through the crowded Irish bar back to the booth where Gina was entertaining her latest acquisition. The guy was certainly handsome, but he only had eyes for Gina. You had another set of drinks for the two of you, but upon discovering the entwined couple making out in the booth, you decided to retreat to give them some privacy.

Typical. She invites me out and then she ditches me for a pretty face.

You wandered back toward the bar and gazed at the writhing mass of bodies under the flashing lights on the dance floor. Desperate to lose yourself in the moment, you downed the two drinks and relished the flavor of Guiness and Bailey’s on your tongue. If Gina was going to have fun, then so were you. You motioned the bartender over and ordered a Jameson & Ginger Ale.

“A whiskey girl, huh?” exclaimed a sultry voice behind you. “Much better than those Appletini chicks.”

Ah, yes, the pick up line. At least his voice is sexy. Let’s hope the rest of him matches.

You couldn’t decide whether to be amused or annoyed, so you decided to let his face make the decision for you. You turned around prepared to give him your best smirk, but lost your nerve once you saw who it was.

“Jungkook?” you replied in squeak. “What are you doing here?!”

Pure amusement filled his doe eyes and he huffed out a laugh. You were floored that your secret hopes of your mystery man being handsome were completely dashed. In fact, he didn’t just have a sexy voice, he was also drop dead gorgeous. You hadn’t seen Jeon Jungkook in almost 7 years, and he hadn’t aged a day. Back when you were both still working on your undergraduate degrees, you’d been his writing tutor on campus, spending countless hours pouring over research papers and essays that needed serious revision and editing.

So many late nights spent at each other’s apartments, so many long hours in the private study rooms, so many casual touches, missed opportunities, awkward moments, and those long nights alone in your bed where you wished his strong arms were holding you. There was no denying the sexual tension you’d felt back then, and there was certainly no denying it now.

Now, here he was leaning on the bar in his billowy shirt and dark ripped jeans looking like some kind of Greek god holding a glass of bourbon. You quickly cleared the inebriation out of your brain and tried to appear sober and sane while you smoothed out your ruffled hair.

“So,” Jungkook smirked while pulling you closer. “I’m guessing you weren’t expecting to see me here, huh?”

“Ummm, no,” you admitted sheepishly. “I didn’t even know you were back in town. I haven’t seen you in years. What are you doing here?”

“I just took a job here,” Jungkook stated simply. “Just hanging out with my new coworkers for the night. I saw you and thought I’d say hi, but I wasn’t expecting you to look so enticing though. You’re not here with your boyfriend or husband, are you?”

“Is that your subtle way of asking if I’m still single?” you popped your eyebrow at him. “And enticing, really? Still trying to pick me up, Kookie?”

He smiled a bright bunny grin at his old nickname. You were the only one who would ever call him that and he would never admit just how much he loved it.

“Oh, did you want me to try?,” he continued while reaching up to run his hands up and down your arms. “Hmmmm, where should I begin, babygirl?”

He pulled his lip between his lips and shot you a smoldering look while flipping his hair slightly. You tried to look disinterested, but you lost your composure when he reached up to push a lock up hair behind your ear. Your breath caught in your throat as he moved in between your legs.

“I mean it, you know?” Jungkook insisted while locking eyes with you. “You still look incredible.”

The bartender returned with your drink at that moment. Thankful for a little distraction, you lifted the glass of liquid courage to your lips. You swallowed a large gulp of swirling heady sweetness and smiled at Jungkook. He was watching you with stars in his eyes and you were enjoying every minute of it.

“So what are you doing these days, Kookie?” you asked, trying to shift his gaze elsewhere. “Are you still playing with your camera and crayons?”

Jungkook laughed and rolled his eyes at your insinuation. As an art major, Jungkook dabbled in several mediums including painting, sculpture, photography, graphic design, and drawing. The boy was insanely talented, so you were actually curious about where he’d ended up career-wise.

“I just took a job at an advertising agency,” he replied with a cocked eyebrow. “And no, I’m not playing with crayons, smartass. I’m their new Assistant Art Director, so I’m mostly working on graphic designs and managing their photography department.”

“Look at you,” you grinned. “Little Kookie all grown up and making big bucks as an actual adult.”

“I was always an adult,” he corrected. “Someone just always chose to treat me like a little kid.”

“Not always,” you shot back. “It’s not my fault you had a tendency to act like an idiot teenager sometimes.”

“Fair point,” he conceded. “But we all have to grow up sometimes, right? Except you, I guess. Looking at you, I could never guess that so much time has passed since I last saw you. You honestly look amazing.”

He leaned in and ran his nose along your neck up to your ear, inhaling deeply as he grazed your skin. He hummed happily as the intoxicating scent of your perfume hit his nostrils.

“You smell amazing too,” he sighed against your ear. “I bet you haven’t thought about me once since I last saw you.”

“Well, that’s a lie,” you smirked. “I’ve thought about you quite a lot actually. You, sir, are one of my big regrets from college.”

“Oh yeah?” Jungkook chuckled lightly while nipping at your earlobe. “Why is that, babygirl?”

You nearly purred at his touch and you hissed lightly when you felt Jungkook’s lips attached themselves to your neck.

“Oh, you’re such a fucking tease, Kookie.” you whined. “How am I supposed to think clearly when you’re doing that?”

“What?” he mused. “I’m not doing anything you don’t want me to, am I?”

You pushed on his chest slightly and he pulled away just enough to rub his nose along your own. You felt his breath ghost across your face and you allowed the smell of bourbon to mix in with his fresh scent.

“Kookie,” you sighed. “How much have you had to drink?”

He wrinkled his brow in confusion and stepped back to look at your face, searching for some explanation for your implied accusation. You weren’t trying to sound like you were chastising him for drinking, but you couldn’t shake the insecurity itching under your skin. It was entirely possible that Jungkook was just feeling a little tipsy from the evening and his familiarity with you was the cause of his brazen behavior. It wouldn’t be the first time, but you weren’t about to let a longtime crush be ruined because of a questionable drunken daze. Jungkook picked up on your train of thought and placed his drink on the bar.

“I hope you’re not insinuating that I’m only hitting on you because I’ve been drinking,” he scowled. “You should know better than that. I’ve been hitting on you since before I was able to buy my own alcohol, remember?”

“Yeah,” you giggled. “I remember having to sneak you into a few clubs back in the day.”

“Exactly,” he bragged. “So don’t try to make it sound like I’m just some random drunken idiot trying to get into your pants. I’m the same Jungkook who would look down your shirt or pull you into his lap in the hopes of making out with you. I mean, I’m still trying to get into your pants, but at least it’s not something new.”

“Still, huh?” you prompted after downing the rest of your drink. “Well, it’s going to take more than a little flirting to get into my pants, Kookie. You want to dance? I want to see if you still got those sexy moves, Kookie.”

He giggled and then finished his own drink with haste. He grabbed your hand to help you off the barstool and you pulled him toward the chaotic dance floor.

You shook off your previous nerves and worked your way into the pulsating mass of dancers. The music was thumping out a steady bass line and you swayed your hips back and forth to the beat. You weren’t sure if Jungkook noticed your attempt at seduction, but within moments, a pair of strong hands attached themselves to your gyrating hips. Given your vaguely inebriated state, you had no problem relinquishing a little control to your sexy suitor.

You encouraged Jungkook’s boldness by pushing your ass back into his crotch, grinding onto his growing erection. He leaned into your body and pulled you closer. His lips ghosted a kiss on your exposed shoulder and then nipped at your neck playfully. The pleased sigh that left your lips prompted a dark chuckle from him.

“So naughty,” he murmured into your ear. “If you keep on grinding onto my dick like that, I’ll have to take action, babygirl.”

You leaned your head back onto his shoulder and reached up to grip his wavy hair. He groaned softly as you tugged on the roots and his hips thrusted against your ass. You quickly calculated how long it had been since you’d had sex and decided that it was time to update your calendar.

“Oh yeah?” you taunted. “I’ll accept that challenge.”

You turned in his grasp and locked onto his lips with your own. He hesitated for a moment, but pushed back with his own lips in seconds. They were unbelievably soft and his fervent kisses ignited an inferno in your center. You decided to take it a bit further and you swiped your tongue across the seam of his lips. He moaned slightly in response and dove into your mouth with his own tongue. Once you bit down on his bottom lip, you both decided it was time to move to a more secure location.

He turned away from the crowd and pulled you behind him toward the bar. You both quickly closed out your tabs and made your way to the exit. Once you were both outside, you pounced on him and pushed him into the brick exterior, unable to contain your lust any longer. Jungkook appeared flustered by your eagerness and took a moment to gather his bearings.

“As much I would love to lose myself in this moment,” Jungkook huffed while pulling away from your hungry lips. “Maybe we should decide on a place with softer surfaces.”

You glanced at the vacant alleyway next to you and the brightly lit city street and frowned.

“Sorry,” you apologized. “Kinda forgot where I was for a second there.”

“Really?” Jungkook grinned and kissed your forehead. “You could’ve fooled me.”

“Let me call an Uber,” you volunteered. “My place isn’t too far from here.”

Once you were both in the Uber, you couldn’t stop touching and smiling at each other. The driver commented on the “happy couple,” and you didn’t have to heart to correct the old man.

Once you were both inside your apartment, Jungkook pushed you against your front door and started nipping lazily along your jaw.

Jungkook stroked his thumbs along your sides and leaned in to kiss your flushed cheeks. You sighed happily in response and ran your hands up his firm chest and rested them on his shoulders.

“Jungkook,” you began. “I didn’t think I’d ever run into you again. I haven’t seen you since my undergraduate graduation party.”

“I tried to see more of you that night,” Jungkook admitted while stroking your hair. “But someone disappeared in the middle of the party with their friend, Jimin.”

You flushed further at his words, remembering that night a little more clearly now that he’d brought it up. You and your former friend with benefits had indeed disappeared that night to have a little undergraduate graduation celebration of your own. By the time the two of you rejoined the party, Jungkook was long gone.

“Sorry about that,” you muttered. “I honestly didn’t think you’d be interested. You always had so many girls pining for you, I never thought you’d give me a second glance.”

“Are you kidding?” Jungkook scoffed. “I’ve wanted you since our first tutoring session. I could barely concentrate with you wearing that tank top and those little shorts. What kind of tutor shows up wearing something like that?”

“It was summer,” you countered. “It was over 100 degrees. What was I supposed to wear? A parka?”

You both giggled at that, and it broke the tension that was building since you recognized him. Feeling encouraged, you started lightly scratching his shoulders and chest, noting the stiff pebbles you grazed down the front of his shirt.

“So what now?” you asked. “Do we just keep reminiscing about old times until the sun comes up?”

You gently popped the top button from his shirt to reveal more of his deliciously tanned skin. Jungkook bit his lip and lifted an eyebrow suggestively.

“I think we’ve talked enough,” he grinned wickedly. “There are better ways to spend our time.”

Your eyes locked and you could almost feel the searing arousal growing between you. You gently pushed him away from you and then started walking toward your bedroom, tossing your shoes aside along the way. At the edge of the living room, you lifted your dress over your head and tossed it on the couch. Jungkook smirked and continued to unbutton his shirt while walking toward you. His taut muscles caused your thighs to clench in anticipation.

“Are you enjoying the view, baby?” Jungkook purred while looking you up and down. “I know I am.”

He unbuckled his belt and tugged at the buttons on his jeans. You stepped forward to help him, but got too caught up in touching his bare skin to be of any use. You pulled Jungkook’s lips to your own just as he leaned forward to pull his pants down. He was caught off balance, but quickly recovered after using his feet to pull the troublesome fabric from his legs.

After flinging his shirt behind him, you were both left in your underwear and no inch of exposed skin was left unexplored. Your dominant personalities were at war as you made your way down the hallway, and the aggression became tangible, especially after you practically slammed his back into the wall by your bedroom door. Jungkook squealed happily when you started climbing onto his chest and he reached down and pulled your legs up and around his waist.

Even though his hands were already busy holding you up, he still managed to slip a few fingers in between your legs from behind. The soaked fabric of your underwear pulled a sultry groan from his kiss bitten lips.

“Holy shit, baby,” he said in a breathy tone. “You’re so fucking wet already.”

You moaned softly into his ear as he trailed your arousal back and forth across your slit. He walked across the threshold of your bedroom door and sat down on the bed. You quickly pushed him on his back, but he sat back up and tried to still your frantic hands.

“Baby, baby,” he implored. “You can slow down a bit. I’m not going anywhere.”

“But,” you pouted. “You have no idea how many times I fantasized about this. I’m just excited that it’s actually happening.”

He reached up with one hand and unsnapped your bra with unbelievable precision. He smirked at your awed expression, tossed your bra to the floor, and then leaned up to kiss you sweetly.

“I feel the same way,” he confessed. “I just want to take my time with this. There’s no rush.”

Jungkook continued kissing along your jawline and proceeded to your neck. He pulled on your nipples slightly and then slipped his fingers around your waist to toy with the band of your underwear. You took a deep breath and smiled. Maybe you were a little eager, but it wasn’t often that a legit snack was delivered unto you by the Universe. The restraint was a real struggle.

Jungkook nipped at a sweet spot just below your ear and you hissed and clutched desperately at his back in response.

“Kookie,” you whined. “Don’t tease me.”

“Oh yeah?” he chuckled darkly. “I’d say you deserve a little payback for all the times you teased me, don’t you think?”

“What?” you scoffed. “When?”

Jungkook turned and tossed you onto the bed. He reached up and pulled your hands above your head and held them in place with one hand.

“Every time I saw you,” he reiterated while kissing down your chest. “Your flirty smiles, your sexy winks, your playful jokes, you sat in my lap on more than one occasion when we cuddled on the couch.”

“You never reacted to any of that,” you breathed out in a gasp. “I just assumed you wanted to be friends.”

“I didn’t want to assume anything either,” he admitted. “But I definitely wanted to be more than just friends.”

He leaned in and pulled you into another intoxicating kiss, and you leaned forward to slip your tongue into his mouth, needing to satiate your overwhelming lust. He pushed his own tongue against yours and then pulled away from your lips completely.

He smirked at your needy whine and trailed his free hand across your cheeks then down onto your breast. He leaned in to capture one nipple with his lips and stimulate the other with his fingers. You writhed in desperation, but he only hummed in response.

“Something wrong, babygirl?” He mused. “You seem a little agitated.”

“Gee,” you huffed. “I wonder why.”

Pure amusement played across Jungkook’s beautiful face as he released one nipple from his mouth with a loud popping sound. He licked the valley between your breasts and shifted his body between your legs. You could feel his thick clothed erection brushing across the top of your thighs. He leaned up to kiss your lips and lingered for a moment before releasing your hands.

“Keep your hands where they are, babygirl,” he instructed. “Don’t move them until I tell you to, ok?”

“What happens if I move them?” you challenged. “Will I get in trouble, Kookie?”

“Oh yeah,” he glared. “Big trouble.”

To send his comment further into your mind, Jungkook rubbed his girthy length gently across your clit and grinned wickedly as you moaned wantonly in response. He placed another kiss on your lips and began crawling down your torso. You released a flustered exhale and wiggled your hips beneath him in anticipation.

His hands continued to explore as he kissed a trail down your body. Jungkook paused and adjusted his position when he reached your dripping center. He nuzzled his nose into the thin fabric of your panties and gave the wet spot he found a lick.

Your hips tried to snap forward with the sensation, but Jungkook held you firmly in place. He slid your underwear down your legs and flung them on the floor with the other discarded articles of clothing. He then situated himself firmly between your legs and slid his strong arms under your thighs.

Intent on prolonging his sensual torture, Jungkook ran his tongue delicately along your juicy folds and the blew a cool stream of air onto your exposed nub. The sensation triggered a shiver to erupt across your skin, and you latched onto the pillow above you to anchor your hands in place. Before you could unleash another whine of displeasure, Jungkook dipped the tip of his tongue into your dripping center and swirled it to collect your juices. He released a satisfied hum when he swallowed and got his first real taste of you

“Oh, fuck me,” Jungkook groaned into your upper thigh. “Your pussy is delicious, baby. I may be down here for a while. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Ah,” you squeaked as he licked another stripe through your folds. “Go right ahead, Kookie. I won’t stop you.”

Jungkook nearly growled as he dove into your sopping wet slit, slurping up every drop of slick he could find. You moaned and twitched uncontrollably and he sent you into a tempest of pure pleasure. Every flick of his tongue, every bit of suction against your clit, and every grasp of Jungkook’s hands on your skin jolted your nerve endings into a full blown orgasm careening from your center and spreading all the way across your extremities. He was certainly taking his sweet time and enjoying every minute of it.

Once the climax shifted into overstimulation, you reached down and pulled on Jungkook’s hair and begged him to stop. The little bunny grin he flashed you was completely at odds with the sinful actions of his fingers in between your legs. He planted one last lingering kiss on your throbbing bundle of nerves and crawled off the bed.

You were about to protest his absence from the bed, but then he left you slack jawed when he pulled his boxer briefs off and kicked them aside. The sight of his quivering length made your mouth water, even more so when he gave it a few purposeful strokes. The swollen pink tip was already weeping with precum and you licked your lips, wondering about the taste.

“Ah, you can’t do that to me,” Jungkook blushed. “You’re looking at me like you want to eat me up.”

“Maybe I do,” you teased. “Can you blame me when you’re looking so damn tasty?”

Jungkook chuckled wickedly as he mounted the bed again and hovered over your tantalizing naked figure. He licked his lips, still tasting your essence on his tongue, and raked his eyes up and down your body.

“Are you ready for me, babygirl?” he mused. “Do you think you can take all of me?”

Glancing down at his sizable girth, you popped an eyebrow and tilted your head pensively. You reached over to your side table and opened a drawer to pull out a condom, handing it to Jungkook with a smile.

That’s a damn good question. Can I?

“I guess it’s time to find out,” you teased. “How long are you going to keep me waiting, Kookie?”

That was all the encouragement Jungkook needed to act upon his voracious hunger. He quickly rolled the condom onto his dick and leaned forward to give you a passionate kiss. He released your swollen lips and you gasped as you felt him rubbing his tip along your damp slit.

“I’ve been waiting for this for so long,” Jungkook murmured. “Just know that you’re in for a long night, baby. I’m not going to stop until we’ve made up for all that time we lost.”

With that being said, Jungkook plunged his throbbing cock into you and released a ravenous groan above you. You both remained still for a few moments and you squirmed in his hold hoping to increase the friction you craved. After the tension in Jungkook’s shoulders subsided, his hips burrowed deeper and deeper into your soaking heat. He relished the deluge of your juices dampening his thighs, the melodic moans of his name you uttered over and over again, and most of all, the profound elation of finally reaching the state of euphoria he’d been dreaming about since you were both in college.

The night raged on with your ardent love-making, and after hours of unbridled bliss, you were sprawled across Jungkook’s chest, buzzing with contentment. Both of your glistening chests heaved from exertion, but the fucked out looks on your faces didn’t reveal any hints of exhaustion.

“That was unbelievable, Kookie,” you panted. “Why didn’t we do that sooner?”

“Because we were both idiots?” Jungkook suggested. “Whatever it was, I’m glad we finally found the time to do it.”

He kissed the top of your head and smacked your ass playfully. You hissed at the contact and pursed your lips at him in a pout. He giggled at your cuteness and wrapped his arms around you.

“What was that for?” you whined. “You’re so mean, Kookie.”

“Hey,” he protested hotly. “I told you to keep your hands in place earlier, but you just had to pull on my hair. I owed you at least one good spank.”

“I think you spanked me enough tonight,” you replied cheekily. “Among other things.”

You both smiled at each other as you replayed the events of the evening in your minds. You leaned over to pull him into another lingering kiss. He chuckled and stopped you from deepening the kiss.

“We should probably clean up,” he argued. “We are a hot steaming mess right now.”

“Speak for yourself,” you shot back. “I’m not a mess.”

He lifted his eyebrows and then reached between your legs to drag his fingers across the stickiness clinging to your legs. You mewled in protest and shot him a dirty look for calling you out.

“Ok, fine,” you agreed. “I’m a mess, but so are you. How about a shower before I change the sheets?”

He nodded in agreement and helped you off the bed and into the bathroom. Your legs were still a little wobbly after so much physical activity.

It’s been a while since I put my thighs to good use.

The intimacy carried on in the shower, but neither of you had enough energy to initiate another round of passion. The most you were able to do was kiss each other lazily after helping each other clean up. After the shower, Jungkook was an absolute gentleman and helped you change your sheets.

“You don’t have to leave, you know,” you suggested. “You could just stay. It’s after 5am anyway.”

“I know,” he replied coolly while buttoning his shirt. “But I’m not really in the habit of staying the night.”

“Oh, really?” you teased while popping an eyebrow. “Then can I get you a drink before you leave?”

Jungkook smiled at your hospitality and nodded in response. You were quick to get him a glass of cold water and set it on the counter. A now fully dressed Jungkook walked over and pulled you into another kiss before grabbing the glass and taking a drink. You nuzzled against his chest and sighed. Jungkook set the glass aside, wrapped his arms around you, and kissed the top of your head sweetly.

“Hey,” he exclaimed suddenly. “Where did you find that?”

He reached over and picked up the banana keychain still sitting on your counter. You totally forgot about the small collection of random objects you found in the closet, but now that Jungkook was examining the keychain, your thoughts revisited the mysterious items once again.

“It was in a box I found in my closet,” you confirmed. “Why? Do you recognize that keychain?”

“Of course I do,” Jungkook murmured. “It’s mine, and it isn’t just a keychain, it’s a USB drive.”

He pulled the banana apart at the center and it revealed a USB connector bearing the lettering 512GB. Your jaw dropped at the sudden revelation.

“What the-” you queried. “Why would I have it?”

“Maybe I left it at your place or something?” Jungkook said. “But the point is, I looked everywhere for this thing. I have so many layouts and artwork on here, and this will be incredibly useful at my new job. You are literally saving me weeks of work with this thing.”

“You’re asking me to just give you this flash drive that I found in my apartment mixed in with my stuff?” you reasoned. “How do I know this is actually yours?”

“Because I recognized it,” Jungkook argued. “And I also knew what it was. You obviously didn’t.”

“Hmmmm,” you mused. “I don’t know. What’ll you give me in return?”

Jungkook patted himself down and reached into his pants pocket to pull out a green shamrock on a beaded necklace with the word “Lucky” emblazoned across the front. The look on his face gave off the impression that he was confused, but then it transformed into amusement. He grinned and flipped a switch on the button, causing it to erupt into a barrage of green LED lights.

“I will give you this limited edition, LED powered four leaf clover necklace,” Jungkook proposed. “It’s the perfect good luck charm, and so much better than a horseshoe or a rabbit’s foot. What do you say?”

You eyed the glowing button and burst into a giggle fit. Jungkook was presenting it to you as though it were some kind of grand prize on a game show.

“Where did you even get that?” you asked. “Do you just hide random holiday necklaces in your pants?”

“No,” Jungkook chuckled. “They gave it to me at the bar. I almost left it on the table, but I couldn’t put it down. When I saw you by the bartender, I guess I just put it in my pocket. It’s weird, I usually don’t keep stuff like this. But it’s yours, if you want it.”

“Well,” you grinned. “With a sales pitch like that, how can I resist?”

He joyfully handed you the flashy plastic bauble and pressed another delightful kiss on your lips. You set the shamrock necklace aside on the counter and wrapped your arms around Jungkook’s neck to continue pressing sweet kisses on his soft pink lips. Before things got too heated again, Jungkook pulled away and kissed your forehead. He exhaled a deep breath as you buried your face into his firm chest.

The night had been phenomenal and this thing between you and Jungkook was heating up so well. Maybe there was a possibility for more than just a one night stand? It was a risky proposal to bring up, but your history with Jungkook gave you a sliver of hope.

“So when do I get to see you again, Kookie?” you breathed out while looking up at him. “Now that you’re in town again, maybe we can see each other more often?”

“Uh, well,” Jungkook sighed nervously. “I’m not sure. I just started the job and I’m going to be pretty busy, so I’ll have to let you know.”

“Oh,” you replied while gently releasing your hold on him. “That’s fine, whatever.”

“Hey,” he began while pulling you back into his embrace. “It’s not what you’re thinking. I had an amazing time with you tonight, but I’m not sure I can give anything more than something casual. I wish I could give you more than that, but I’m not really in a good place for anything serious right now.”

You pouted slightly and nodded your head in understanding. Having been in that exact same head space before, you could understand his apprehension. There were easily five years between you and Jungkook, so it was natural that you would be at different places in your life. It would be unfair to expect more of him if he wasn’t ready for it yet.

“I understand,” you murmured knowingly. “I don’t want you to feel obligated or anything like that.”

“I’m sorry I can’t offer you more than that,” he admitted. “Believe me. If ever I’m ready for something long-term, I’m going to be looking for you.”

“If I’m still available,” you mocked him playfully. “You never know. Some other gorgeous man might snap me up before then.”

“Well,” he growled while sinking his hand into your hair. “If that’s the case, then he better be ten times better than me and willing to give you the world on a silver platter. You shouldn’t settle for anything less, babygirl. You deserve to be treated like the goddess you are.”

You rolled your eyes at him and pursed your lips. He shot you an adorable bunny smile and eagerly kissed your lips once again. He took a moment to brush his thumbs across the apples of your cheeks and then shook his head with a goofy smile.

“Ah, I better go,” he announced in a huff. “If I spend any more time here, I’ll never leave.”

“That isn’t necessarily a bad thing,” you shot back teasingly. “I’d definitely make it worth your while.”

“I know you would,” he snickered. “But I really do have a lot of work to do. I’m going to need the rest of the day to recover from tonight before I have to be at work on Monday. Someone gave me a hell of a workout.”

You winked at him and leaned up to kiss him once more before he pulled away toward the front door. You shared one last hug and kiss at the open door after exchanging phone numbers.

“Thank you again for giving this USB back to me.” he expressed with gratitude. “You have no idea how much time you’re going to save me. I’ll try to call you later this week. Maybe we can meet up and do something, if you’re not busy?”

“We’ll see,” you smirked. “I’ll let you know.”

Jungkook flicked your chin and shot you an impish grin. You watched him disappear behind the elevator doors before closing the door to your apartment. Once you were back in your kitchen, you sipped at the water you’d poured for Jungkook and looked at the scattered items on the counter. The absence of the banana keychain was noted, but the glowing shamrock was a welcome replacement. You decided to send Gina a little update before you went to bed.

You put your phone on the counter and let out a loud yawn, the evening and all of its activities finally catching up with you. The mess on the counter annoyed you, so you placed everything back in the box on top of the paper map and switched off the lights.

“I’ll take another look at this tomorrow,” you yawned. “Time for sleep.”

As you walked back to your room, you turned off all the lights and got settled into your comfy bed with fresh sheets. There was still a faint scent of Jungkook floating in the air and it calmed your senses. You started drifting off to Dreamland with visions of Jungkook prancing across your brain.

At least I can stop wondering about Jungkook and what might have been. I’d been obsessing over that for so long. Now, I can move on if I need to.

Reassuring visions danced across your brain and all of them resembled Jungkook. He kept tossing four leaf clovers at your feet, and you giggled in your sleep as he continued showering you in lucky charms.

Jungkook made a good point. Four leaf clovers were much better than other good luck charms. Your bunny boy bestowed a bounty of luck upon you, all while blessing you with a rabbit’s foot of his own.

Well maybe a few inches less than a foot, but size isn’t everything.

With a smile on your face and your heart full of possibilities, you coasted on fumes to the final mile into a deep sleep, knowing that tomorrow would be brighter without the added weight of your past insecurities pulling at your nerves.

It’s funny. I almost feel like I’ve regained something I didn’t know was missing. Maybe Oberyn is on to something after all. The Universe definitely makes more sense than it did yesterday.

That couldn’t just be a coincidence.

Could it?

Your mind continued its existential ramblings throughout the wonders of Dreamland, and in your kitchen, something inexplicable was happening. Only Oberyn was awake to witness the subtle purple glow and sparkle emanating from the counter top. It was over in a flash, but Oberyn still sniffed at the air in the kitchen trying to locate the origin of the unexplained phenomenon.

Chapter Two: Soulmates are a Forever Kind of Thing

MAP OF THE SOUL MASTERLIST

@caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma‘s MASTERLIST

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imnotinclinedtomaturity · 6 years

Text

Love Yourself (Chapter 15)

title: Love Yourself summary: A lot of things about Dan’s life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he’s got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He’s currently lacking inspiration, he’s rather lonely, and he’s stuck in a rut. Dan’s been going to the same coffee shop for years. It’s quiet, it’s quaint, it’s near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that’s he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista. chapter words: 8k story words: 113.3k (so far) chapter: 15/? rating: m warnings: language, alcohol, sex mentions, some bi/homophobia genre: singer!dan, coffee shop au, barista!phil, slow burn [[ao3]] [[first chapter]] [[previous chapter]]

a/n: as always, i love @auroraphilealis very much and appreciate all the time she spends editing for me.

also: before you send me an ask about using a read more, i did, they just don’t always work on mobile and there is nothing i can do about it :( take it up with tumblr lol

Dan woke up face down in his bed the next morning, unable to fucking move. He felt like he’d been run over by a goddamn train. In fact, he was pretty sure there wasn’t a single part of his body that didn’t hurt.

Oh my god, this is definitely what death feels like.

He needed water. And coffee. And maybe some carbs.

“Addieeeeee,” Dan called weakly, the sound of his own voice aggravating his head. There was no response — not that he really expected there to be one. He had no way of knowing if Adaline was awake yet, and even if she was, his voice probably didn’t carry as far as the spare bedroom.

Using all of his willpower, Dan shoved his hand under his pillow, blindly feeling around for his phone. When his fingers finally found it, he pulled it far too close to his face and cracked one eye open to look at the screen.

Overnight, his phone had blown up. Frankly, it was a surprise that the vibrations beneath his pillow hadn’t woken him up and it was probably a testament to just how heavily the alcohol had knocked him out. Dan ignored all of the notifications, though, instead opening the phone app and pressing Addie’s name.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty!” Adaline greeted him way too cheerfully.

“Uggggh,” was all Dan managed to say — and it was more of a groan than a word. Adaline laughed so loudly that Dan could hear her in the next room over almost as well as he could on the phone. “Come here,” he mumbled.

“You’re bloody insane, Daniel.” The phone went silent halfway through Adaline’s laughter.

Knowing that Adaline was heading his way, Dan tried to force himself to roll towards the door, determined to look at least a little like a functional adult. He wasn’t particularly successful, though — he only made it halfway to his side before the excruciating pain of his hangover stilled him. Dan shut his eyes again, determined to close out the world.

Good enough.

He didn’t have to wait long before he heard his door being pushed open, and light pitter patter footsteps across his floor. There was nothing, though, that could have prepared him for the sudden jolt of the bed from Adaline literally jumping on it, landing on her knees near Dan’s torso.

“Fucking hell, Addie,” Dan grumbled, his slight progress towards rolling onto his side having been lost, the force of the bed shaking inadvertently rolled him back onto his stomach.

“Awww, look at you and your hungover ass,” Adaline cooed loudly, with zero respect for Dan’s feelings or headache.

“No one likes you,” Dan murmured bitterly into his pillow. Adaline jumped again, her knee actually knocking against Dan’s ribs this time. “Please stop that,” Dan reached out with every ounce of energy he had and caught her shin.

Even though his grip was nowhere near strong enough to hold her in place, Adaline stopped bouncing and came to rest on her calves, leaning her face down close to his head. “Sanka, you dead?” she asked.

“Ya, mon,” Dan managed to mumble back.

It was a long-standing inside joke between them, a reference to a movie they’d watched constantly growing up. Adaline had originally texted Dan it, with absolutely no follow up, when he was seventeen and out way past his eleven o’clock weekend curfew. He’d been rather drunk at the time, and flirting heavily with someone that he was pretty sure he was going to go home with — both facts that he didn’t want to disclose to his twelve year old sister — but he had taken a moment to write back ya mon =] and apparently that was enough. Without Dan even asking her to, Adaline had covered for him. Ironically, she’d told their parents that Dan’s friend had irresponsibly gotten drunk, and Dan had to take care of them because he was the only sober one — a cover story that she’d texted him in the dead of the night so he knew to go along with it. The next morning, he was fortunately able to pass off his small hangover as sheer exhaustion from helping his “immature friend” get through the night.

And since then, Sanka, you dead? had just become a thing between him and Adaline. If they went too long between talking, or one of them was supposed to hear from the other and didn’t, communication always started with a simple Sanka, you dead? — sometimes even reduced to a quick sanka?

Adaline prodded him in the shoulder, pulling Dan out of the near-slumber he’d fallen back into. “Seriously, bro, wake up.” She moved her finger to his cheek, poking him a few times. “Are you really that hungover?”

“Are you really not hungover?” Dan croaked back, barely audible.

“No, Dan,” Adaline laughed. “Unlike you, I’m not an old man.” She poked Dan in the face again before adding, “also I had one less drink than you, which can’t have hurt.”

“I hurt.” Dan turned his head just enough so that Adaline could see he his pout.

Adaline shifted, sitting cross-legged near Dan’s waist, evaluating him with humored eyes. Dan didn’t particularly appreciate her judgment. “Aren’t rockstars supposed to be, like, living the life?” she asked with a small laugh. “You know, doing cocaine every night and shit?”

“Are you really saying you’d rather me be coked-out right now?” Dan looked at her incredulously.

“No, I’m just saying that all things considered, a hangover seems like it’s on the minor end.”

“It doesn’t feel minor,” Dan whined, shoving his face back into his pillow.

“Poor Bear,” Adaline humed, with a not-so-subtle mocking edge to her voice. “What will make you feel better?”

“Coffee,” Dan mumbled into his pillow. “And a crumpet.”

“I don’t think you have either of those in the house. I tried and failed to have breakfast.”

“Wallet,” Dan gestured vaguely towards his floor where he was pretty sure he’d shed his pants last night — or rather, early this morning. The bed shifting was Dan’s only indication that Adaline had gotten up and followed his vague pointing. “Go downstairs to B ‘n G and get us something.”

“Ooh,” Adaline sounded intrigued. “Can I get chips from the place across the street?”

“Ad, you can buy the London Eye for all I care, just bring me a fucking crumpet.”

“Needy much?” Adaline mumbled as she left the room, but even Hungover Dan could hear the sarcasm in her voice.

The lure of sleep was tempting, and Dan nearly gave in. But when he closed his eyes, he was haunted by the notification-filled screen of his iphone and he needed to know what all of the notifications were.

Dan fished his phone back out from under the covers and swiped down, looking at the summary of his messages. There were two missed calls from an unknown London phone number, but no voicemail. Must not have been that important. There was a notification from twitter, too. From what Dan could see from the preview, it looked like Phil had retweeted Dan’s tweet at… one thirty in the morning.

What the fuck had he tweeted again?

Dan hadn’t exactly blacked out last night, but, well, the last hour or two of the night were definitely a bit fuzzy. He remembered coming back to the table with a final round, and insisting that he tweet a picture of him and Phil — which, in hindsight, Dan had no recollection of what that picture really had been. At the time, he had thought it was pretty tame, but in the past, Dan had thought some pretty risque things were tame when he was drunk. Although — Adaline had taken it, so it couldn’t have been that bad… right?

And after the photo, they’d drank some more. But what exactly had happened? Dan couldn’t quite remember. He tapped on the twitter notification from Phil, hoping that the photo would jog his memory.

@AmazingPhil: *my* fave lad is at it again <3 RETWEET: @danielhowell: your fave lads are at it again @AmazingPhil [picture]

Dan flushed, both at what Phil had tweeted and at the memories that flooded back.

Flashes of what they’d done after that tweet came to Dan. He had no real recollection of what they’d talked about. He did, however, remember inching closer and closer to Phil throughout the night, he remembered tucking his head into the crevice of Phil’s neck, he remembered kissing Phil’s cheek, and he remembered —

Oh fuck.

He remembered telling Adaline that he wanted to go home with Phil. And as best as Dan could remember, Phil had been sitting right next to him when he’d said it.

Phil had drank just as much as Dan had, though. Maybe Phil didn’t remember — for all Dan knew, Phil could be extremely oblivious to everything while intoxicated. Maybe Drunk Dan’s graceless attempts to be secretive had been just enough to hide his actions from Drunk Phil.

Probably not. But maybe.

Dan swiped back down on his phone, looking at the rest of his notifications. There were three unread messages from Phil. One that came in at half past midnight, and two that had come in that morning.

Whatever they were, Dan wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with them. He was cringing too hard from his own drunken behavior that he couldn’t possibly stand to open the messages. If he ignored them, maybe they’d go away and the consequences of his actions wouldn’t be real.

Dan shoved his phone back under his pillow, so far away that it clunked against the headboard. Determined to ignore it as best as possible, Dan shifted down the bed until his head was laying where his butt normally was and his feet were hanging far off the bed.

There.

Now, whatever had happened last night, whatever Phil had texted him, couldn’t touch Dan. He was safe down at the bottom of the bed and the world could just fuck the fuck off.

Dan must have drifted off to sleep, because the next thing he knew, Adaline was perched on his abandoned pillow, waving something buttery and something coffee-y over his head.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are,” she sang lightly, knocking something soft into his shoulder.

Dan flipped the covers off his face and looked up, his eyes hungrily landing on what Adaline had in her hands.

“Gimme,” Dan begged quietly.

“Sit up, silly, and you can have it.”

With every ounce of strength he had, Dan pushed himself into a cross-legged position across from Adaline, who was mirroring his position, leaned against the headboard with a box of greasy-looking chips in her lap. Dan immediately made grabby hands, reaching out to take whatever she’d brought him.

“Geez, geez, here.” She passed him a bag and a small to-go cup. “One crumpet, one triple espresso.”

Dan took a tentative sip of the coffee — god, he was dehydrated. But more than that, he desperately needed caffeine, so he powered through. He waited until he’d swallowed a few gulps to look back up at Adaline.

“So,” he asked tentatively, “On a scale of one to ten, how much did I embarrass myself last night?”

Adaline giggled, shoving chip in her mouth and looking at him thoughtfully for a moment. “Maybe a seven?”

“That’s it?” Dan asked skeptically.

“Well, you didn’t throw up, so there’s minus one. And you didn’t offend anyone, so there’s minus another point. Plus, your drunk tweet was highly acceptable and actually cute, so there’s minus another.”

“But with Phil…” Dan trailed off.

Adaline laughed loudly and freely — that wasn’t a good sign. “You’re fucked there, mate. A full ten out of ten on that scale.”

Dan dropped his bagged crumpet to the bed, leaning forward until his forehead collided with Adaline’s ankle.

“Was it really that bad?” he asked gravely.

“I mean… well, maybe.” Adaline sounded pitying, which wasn’t overly promising. “But he was just as gone and embarrassing as you, so you’re fine.”

Dan peeked up slightly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Adaline said, tugging on his chin slightly so he sat upright again, “Phil seems just as hopelessly head over heels for you, so all of the humiliating shit you did?” Dan’s cheeks colored red at the reminder.” Yeah, he was just as bad.”

“Hmm.” Dan tore open the bag and took the crumpet out, nibbling off a small bite. Carbs, thank god. He thought back, trying to focus his mind on Phil’s actions last night — he remembered Phil’s hand landing on his leg at some point, he remembered Phil helping Dan put his coat on, he remembered Phil drawing Dan in close on the cold pavement.

“He texted me,” Dan blurted out.

“Oh did he, now?” Adaline didn’t sound surprised. Dan nodded vigorously, immediately regretting it due to the amplified pounding in his head. “And what did Sir Philip say?”

“I don’t know.” Dan turned back to his crumpet, peeking up at Adaline bashfully.

Adaline looked at him like he was ridiculous. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I didn’t read them. I was too nervous.”

“Oh my god, Daniel James Howell, who is the teenager here?” Adaline rolled her eyes, not waiting for a response from Dan. “Where’s your phone?”

“Under your ass.”

Adaline didn’t question him — she’d known Dan too long to question anything, probably. She merely leaned forward on her hands and pulled Dan’s pillow out from under her, plucking his phone off the bed.

“Passcode?”

“Twelve-fourteen,” Dan answered without thinking, breaking off another bite of crumpet.

“One two one four…” Adaline mumbled as she punched the digits. “What’s the significance of that?”

“The day I signed my record deal,” Dan said through a mouth full of food.

“Oh, look at that, Danny boy is a little sap.” Adaline peered up from the phone, taunting him with a smile.

“Fuck off. Don’t pretend your passcode isn’t something stupidly personal, too,” Dan complained, kicking out and nudging her calf with his foot. “What did Phil say?”

“Hmmm,” Adaline hummed as she navigated his phone, leaving Dan in desperate suspense. “He texted you last night, looks like when he got home maybe. He said he had a nice time and that it was nice to meet me and that you’re really pretty.”

“Wait, really?” Dan asked, surprised. He lowered his crumpet from his open mouth, staring at Adaline in disbelief.

“Really, really,” Adaline smirked.

“All of it?” Dan tried to reign in his giddiness, sure that Adaline was fucking with him. “He called me pretty?”

Adaline looked at Dan, amused and disbelieving. “Of course, you dipshit. That kid thinks the damn sun shines out of your ass, he obviously thinks you’re pretty.”

“Oh.” Dan felt his cheeks flushing and ineffectively tried to hide behind his coffee cup.

“You’re such a fucking dork,” Adaline mumbled under her breath. “Do you want to know what he said this morning?”

“I don’t know, is it terrible?”

“What do you mean is it terrible?” Adaline asked, her tone belieing the fact that she clearly thought Dan was an idiot.

“I don’t know, like, did he call me out for being drunk and dumb and coming on too strong?”

“Dan, he was plenty drunk and dumb and came on plenty strong himself, you weren’t alone, okay?” Dan cheeks, which were already flushed, felt like they grew impossibly hotter. He nodded his head dumbly, hoping Adaline would continue. “So he texted you an hour ago saying please dear god tell me you’re as hungover as I am? And then he texted you again twenty minutes ago saying — oh.”

“Oh, what?” Dan demanded, dread washing through him. Had Phil remembered how much of a drunk mess Dan had been last night? What if Phil changed his mind — or worse, Dan had read too much into Phil’s feelings for him?

“Er…” Adaline squirmed a bit. Dan could feel the knot in his stomach tightening. “Just remember that you were drunk, and were being suuuuuuper forward, and kind of hard to reign in last night.”

“Oh god, what?” The fear in Dan’s veins rushed faster. What the bloody fuck had he done last night?

“Well, I’d had a bit to drink too, and at one point I just flat out told Phil that I was there to babysit you and gave him a big lecture about how you needed time and space.” Adaline’s expression made it clear that she was wary of Dan’s reaction, which was fair. A lot of people — most people, probably — would be pissed if someone else was that brutally honest with their crush on their behalf, but Dan just felt a wave of affection.

Phil had needed to know. He’d needed to know that all of Dan’s flirting, and looks, and comments weren’t meaningless. Dan needed him to understand Dan not immediately making a move wasn’t because Dan didn’t want to. And as embarrassing as it was, Dan even kind of wanted Phil to know that Dan thought he was different, that he was special.

So Adaline taking the initiative to tell Phil, especially when Dan hadn’t known how to, was really just a blessing in disguise.

“You’re a good egg,” Dan whispered, offering her a small smile and ruffling up her hair.

“I know, I know. I’m amazing,” Adaline joked, sounding relieved at Dan’s reaction.

“No, seriously,” Dan insisted. “I don’t think I would have ever gotten the guts to say that to Phil and he needed to hear it. He needs to know that I’m in, but I just need, well, time.”

Adaline shrugged, laughing a bit. “Glad to help. I figure, Drunken Overprotective Dan has come to my defense enough that Drunk Overprotective Addie probably owes him a few favors.”

“So what did he say?” Dan asked, suddenly remembering that the point behind this conversation was that there was another message from Phil. A message that had made Adaline hesitate, and confess she’d done last night.

Adaline took a deep breath before reading. “He said that he was sorry if he crossed any lines last night and that he understands that you need time and that he’s there when you’re ready and he hopes you can be friends in the meantime.”

Dan’s mind whirled at all everything Addie was saying, not necessarily because of the amount, but because of the content. All morning, Dan had been worrying that he’d made a drunken ass of himself, that he’d been the one out of line last night. But Phil’s hungover bum was laying in his green and blue sheets, feeling nervous about the same thing. Unlike Dan, though, Phil was concerned that Dan might not want to be friends, and Dan couldn’t let Phil think that for even a second more.

He lunged forward, swiping his phone out of Adaline’s hands so that he could see the messages for himself. Now that he knew what they were, he wasn’t too humilated to read them.

Phil [12:28am]: I had a realky good time tonigjt an it was great to meet youur sister. Your’e very pretty night noght dear

Phil [9:14am]: Please dear god tell me you’re as hungover as I am?

Phil [9:57am]: Dan, I’m really sorry if I crossed any lines last night. I understand and respect the fact that you need time after Isabella and I want you to know that I’m here when you’re ready. Until then, I really hope we can still be friends xx

Dan typed back a message, hitting send before he let himself think over it — or worse, let Addie read it. Adaline was the queen of playing by imaginary dating rules, and if she saw what Dan was typing before he sent it, she’d surely make him change it.

Dan [10:22am]: i’ll always want to be friends with you, phil. no matter what

Fuck that came out even sappier than Dan had meant for it to. Maybe he should have let Addie look at it, after all. Embarrassed, he quickly tacked on another message.

Dan [10:22am]: why am i so hungover wtf

There. That was more casual, right? Not too casual, hopefully. Dan didn’t want to come across like he was avoiding talking about the topic of, well, them.

“Awww is baby brother texting back?” Adaline teased. Dan had barely pressed send on the second message before the phone was being ripped out of his hands.

“Addie, what the fuck! Swiper no swiping!” Dan launched himself towards his sister to steal his phone back, but was easily defeated. She held the phone just far enough out of reach that he would have had to kneel up to reach it, and god knows he wasn’t capable of doing that at this moment in time.

“Let’s see what you’re saying to your boyfrieeeend.”

“Stop calling him that, he’s not my boyfriend.” Dan’s hand was still limply reaching out for his phone, but he’d resigned himself to the fact that he wasn’t going to get it back unless Adaline gave it to him, or he mustered the energy to crawl to his knees to grab it back.

“Yet,” Adaline said simply, keeping the phone out of Dan’s reach but tilting it enough that she could see the screen. “God, bro, do you have no chill?”

“What? What do you mean?” Dan asked, alarmed. It had been a long time since he’d started dating someone, and he hadn’t been kidding when he’d told Louise that he sucked at it. His hatred — and slight ineptitude — when it came to dating, to playing the game, was at least part of why he was so adamant about monogamy.

“I’ll always want to be friends with you, Phil,” Adaline read back, her voice several octaves higher than normal, “No matter what!” She stuck her tongue out, making a gagging noise. “You’re disgusting and I hate — jesus fuck, you double texted, too.”

“So!” Dan exclaimed. He wanted to defend himself, but to do that he needed energy. “Phil triple texted!” he whined back.

“I guess you’re right…” Adaline trailed off, tossing him his phone back. Dan caught it gratefully.

“Do you think I need to, like… play it more cool or something?”

Adaline snorted. “I think playing it cool is well out the window after last night, don’t you?”

“I mean, yeah. But like,” Dan drank the remainder of his coffee as he tried to find the right words. “Like, do you think I should chill out on the texting him and seeing him all the time thing?”

Adaline stared at him contemplatively for a bit longer than Dan was comfortable with. He squirmed under her gaze, wishing he still had coffee or food left, just so he had something to do with his hands.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” she finally said quietly. “I don’t really know the protocol for when you’re already head over heels for someone and are trying to wait because of some arbitrary thing.”

“It’s not arbitr—” Dan tried to interrupt, but Adaline cut him off.

“Sorry, sorry, that was the wrong word.” She rolled her eyes endearingly.

Dan twirled his phone between his fingers, his hangover finally lifting just enough that movement wasn’t painful. “You don’t think I’m being insane, right?”

“I always think you’re insane. How so, specifically?”

“By waiting. With Phil, I mean.”

“No, I don’t. I think that it’s something I’ve never seen from you and I think that it’s good. Tbh, I’m still kinda shocked that you aren’t dragging me or Louise to a bar to be a wingman so you can find someone to fuck while you wait.”

“I couldn’t do that to Phil,” Dan said honestly, shrugging slightly.

“Yeah,” Adaline agreed. “And that’s what’s different. I like it. This whole trying to keep it in your pants thing is a good look on you.”

As complimentary as Addie’s words were, there was a hint of laughter to them that Dan couldn’t overlook. “I’m never going to live this down, am I?”

“You mean the fact that you train’ed me in so that you wouldn’t fuck your crush? No. Never. I’m talking about it in my speech at the wedding.”

“We’re not —”

“Dating, I know, I know.” Her lips curled into a smile. “Yet.”

Yet.

Dan’s phone dinged in his hands, drawing both of their attention down.

“You deal with that, I’m going to get dressed. And so are you. And then you are going to hold up your promise to do something fun with me today.” Adaline flicked him on the nose, hopped off the bed, and trailed out of the room, pulling the door shut behind herself.

Dan waited until the door clicked to unlock his phone and read what Phil wrote.

Phil [10:36am]: Because we drank hardly any water and bad news bears, but hangovers just get worse the older you get.

Dan smiled stupidly down at his phone. Phil was just so goddamn cute. It didn’t take Dan long to craft a response — he’d decided that Adaline’s permission to not follow the cool rules of dating meant that he could just say the first thing that came to his mind.

Dan [10:38am]: great now i’m thinking about my inevitable death, thanks for that

Staring at his phone, Dan crawled out of bed and stumbled over to his wardrobe. He stared at the little delivered message, willing it to change to read. Jesus, he didn’t even know if Phil had read receipts on, and Dan was staring at his phone like a fucking schoolkid.

Forcefully, Dan sat his phone down on his dresser, and determinedly turned his attention to finding an outfit for the day. His fingers trailed across the hangers as he tried to decide what to wear. For a second, he hovered over Phil’s jumper, briefly considering pulling that on, but he’d endured far too much taunting from Adaline already and decided he didn’t need to add to it.

Instead, he settled on wearing a stupidly expensive, but amazing Alexander McQueen sweatshirt that read hissing at the sun, because he felt like it really fit his hungover aesthetic.

Dan had one leg in and one leg out of his jeans when his phone went off. Eager to see if it was Phil, Dan tried to rush back over to his dresser, totally forgetting that he wasn’t really in his jeans yet, and nearly tripped over himself. He caught himself on his dresser at the last minute, cheeks burning red in humiliation despite there having been no one there to witness his mistake, and picked up his phone to read the message.

Phil [10:44am]: You’re a dork

Dan typed back a response without thinking, quickly pressing send.

Dan [10:45am]: but i’m your dork

It took a minute for what Dan had said to really sink in, but when it did. Dan nearly dropped his phone.

Fuck.

Even considering that he’d given up following the cool rules of dating, Dan knew that was too much.

“ADALINE.” Dan screamed, kicking off his jeans because lord knows he didn’t have the emotional capacity to wrangle on skinny jeans at that moment. “ADDIE. I FUCKED UP, GET OUT HERE.”

Dan tore down the hallway, coming to a halt in front of the closed guest bedroom door. He raised his fist up and pounded frantically on it.

“ADS. ADDIE. FUCKING HELL. OPEN UP. JES—”

The door opened suddenly, the momentum of Dan’s hand against nothing sending him toppling forward. Adaline ducked out of the way just in time, letting Dan fall gracelessly to the floor.

“What the fuck did you do now?” Adaline asked, hands on her hips, but a knowing smirk on her face. From the ground, Dan helplessly offered up his phone, burying his face in his hands as soon as Adaline had taken it from him.

“Good lord, Daniel. I leave you alone for five fucking minutes.” She laughed. Dan peeked his eyes between his fingers to look up at her. Her eyes were lit up with mirth as she stared back down at him.

Dan groaned into his hands, rolling over to lay face down on the floor. Adaline nudged him in the side with the tip of her foot. “Dan?” nudge “Daaaan?” nudge “DannielllI?” nudge nudge.

“Leave me alone to wallow in my misery,” Dan mumbled.

Two strong, sure hands scooped under his arm, pulling him backwards until he was seated on his calves. “No. You are going to go put some bloody trousers on, and I’m going to finish brushing my damn hair, and then we are going to go to the shops and make the people think that we are going to buy horribly expensive things, and then disappear when they turn around.”

It was a game they’d played since they were young. They’d go into the fanciest shops, and pretend to be really, truly interested in something unbelievably expensive, and then they’d duck out when the salesperson disappeared for a moment. It had only grown more entertaining as Dan gained fame — salespeople were suddenly much more inclined to think that two young kids were going to drop thousands of pounds.

Okay, so, they were dicks.

But at this point, their little game had resulted in Dan actually spending significant money before — the fucking two hundred pound McQueen sweatshirt he was currently wearing was proof of that. Karma had made him spend enough money that he didn’t feel too poorly about it.

“Fine, fine,” he grumbled, pushing himself to his feet. He held his hand out for his phone expectantly.

“Oh, no!” Adaline reprimanded. “You’ve lost the rights to having this alone. I’ll hold on to this from now on.”

“I know I should hate you for that, but I don’t,” Dan laughed, leaving Adaline’s room to finish getting dressed. Dating had never been Dan’s talent. Nor had controlling himself around Phil. And now that the two of those were coming together, he was a downright disaster. Really, it was for the best that Adaline was trying to instill some sense of control in him — hopefully he could make it last when she went home.

Back in his room, Dan pulled on his jeans for a second time, this time without the distraction of his bloody phone. He knew he’d probably tweet some picture today, since he was going out with Adaline, so he tried his best to tone down the deathly hungover look. He patted some eye cream under his eyes, and rubbed a dab of moistuizer into his face. It helped him look a little less dead, at least.

Dan was fiddling with his hair in his bathroom mirror when Adaline came prancing into his room. She hopped up on the counter, staring at him impatiently until Dan turned his attention to her.

“What?” he asked impatiently.

“Loverboy texted back,” she said with a smirk.

Dan let his forehead fall against the mirror, probably ruining the careful arrangement of his mop of curls, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “What did Phil say?”

“He’s cute, he likes you.”

Dan shot back, standing upright and staring at his sister. “Really? He wasn’t, like, totally freaked out?”

“No,” Addie giggled. “Here, you can read. Don’t press send on anything you type, though. I don’t trust you.”

Warily, Dan took the phone from her. Just because Addie was giggling about whatever Phil had said, did not mean that it was fine. She’d been known to take too much pleasure in his agony before. Gathering every ounce of courage he had, Dan tilted the screen to face him, reading the messages.

Phil [11:03am]: Yeah :)

Phil [11:05am]: So how are you dealing with your hangover?

Dan’s eyes flickered up to the time. 11:08. “Adaline!” He whacked her ankle. You let me stew in worry for five whole minutes?”

“Sorrrry, bro, I had things to do other than manage your love life.”

“That’s literally the whole reason you’re in town,” Dan deadpanned.

“Trust me, I remember.” Adaline rolled her eyes. “Now type something back so I can read over it first.”

Dan drew his bottom lip between his teeth, biting down with a bit more force than intended. He wanted to say something funny, something entertaining. After everything so far, he needed to not sound too desperate, but he didn’t want to sound aloof either. He typed and backspaced, typed and backspaced. Hopefully Phil didn’t have their conversation opened, because if so, he’d see how fucking long it was taking Dan to type an answer to what was frankly a very simple question. It took five tries, but he finally came up with a draft he was happy with. Dan passed his phone to his sister. She read it over, and pressed send for him.

Dan [11:12am]: i sent addie out for rations aka coffee and carbs and once that works its magic we are going to venture out in the world because i promised to do something fun with her today since she came all the way into the city

No point in pretending Adaline was here for anything else, now. Addie handed him his phone back, and Dan typed a second message. He turned the phone back to Adaline. “Flirty or too much?” Dan asked.

“Flirty, definitely.” Adaline nodded. “You can send that.”

Dan [11:13am]: what about you, old man?

Adaline jumped off the counter and headed for the door, taking Dan’s phone with her. “Now, stop obsessing over your hair and let’s go.”

Dan crinkled his nose at her and ran a pump of mousse into his hair, adding a hint of bounce to it, before calling it good and following Addie out of the room.

Adaline was waiting for him in the lounge, scrolling through her own phone.

“Took you long enough,” she said when he entered the room. “You took longer than me to get ready.”

“I’m still kind of hungover, leave me be,” Dan grumbled.

“Never. I’m gonna call us an uber since it’s cold as tits outside.” Adaline tapped around on her phone for a moment before looking back up. “Wait, should I have them drop us off at some uni first? So we can take a picture for mum or whatever?”

Dan shrugged. “Seems like a poor use of our time since I’m sure she’ll find out why you really came sooner or later.”

“True. Straight to the shops then!” Adaline chucked him his phone. “You got a call from a random number, btw. I took the liberty of ignoring it for you.”

“Definitely the right choice.” Dan unlocked his phone and, sure enough, there was a miss call — from the same phone number as earlier, weirdly. But still no voicemail. There was a text from Phil, too.

Phil [11:17am]: Unlike you, I don’t have anyone I can make bring me food, so I’m curled up in bed dying alone with Buffy.

Poor Phil, Dan thought. If Addie hadn’t already called the uber, Dan probably would have suggested that they bring Phil a surprise snack. But it was fine, hopefully Dan would have plenty of opportunities to spoil Phil in the future. He decided to ignore that part of the message, focusing on the other half of what Phil had said.

Dan [11:29am]: ...the vampire slayer or a secret girlfriend?

He was joking, mostly. He knew Phil wasn’t actually seeing anyone, but, well, a bit of reassurance was always nice.

Dan followed Adaline down to their car when it arrived, continuously checking his phone. She was texting someone too — which was probably something Dan should ask her about, now that his drama was dying down. But since she was wrapped up in her phone, Dan didn’t feel too bad about texting Phil for their whole car ride, and he figured he’d ask her about whoever she was talking to later.

Phil [11:32am]: The vampire slayer, obviously.

Dan [11:33am]: just checking how jealous i should be

Dan bit his lip; he hoped that was the right combination of flirty and jealous, and didn’t veer off into unjustly clingy territory. Phil responded quickly, though, easing his fears.

Phil [11:34am]: Well in that case, very. I used to have such a big crush on Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Phil [11:34am]: But seriously, this show is amazing. I’ve seen it so many times.

Phil was cute. Dan adored the way that Phil loved things with all of his heart, they way he was so openly excited about the things he liked. Even when they were nerdy as all hell. It reminded Dan of himself. Once he’d gotten past the awkwardness of being a nerdy teenager, Dan had always tried to be unapologetic of who he was, and to not feel embarrassed about the things that he loved.

Dan [11:35am]: don’t hate me but i’ve never seen buffy

Phil [11:35am]: YOU WHAT???

Phil [11:36am]: THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE

Biting his lip, Dan held back a giggle at Phil’s outrage. The all-caps texting just made it all the more adorable. He didn’t need Adaline making fun of him, though, if she saw him laughing over a text.

Dan [11:37am]: sorry mate. i just never got around to it

As Dan sent the message, their uber came to a stop in front of their destination— which was apparently the Versace store. Of course, Adaline fucking would. Dan rolled his eyes. Apparently, Adaline was committed to their little game of window shopping today, and was determined to go big. Dan’s phone vibrated — Phil must have responded — but he ignored it and shoved it into his pocket instead, helping Addie out of the car and leading her to the entrance of the store.

They both riffled through the racks, each accumulating a small wardrobe of clothes to try on — including a studded knit top from the women’s department that Dan was pretty sure he’d end up buying. Now that he had money, he was complete shit at this game.

Dan waited until he was locked in his dressing room to look at what Phil had said.

Phil [11:39am]: When does Adaline leave? You’re coming over immediately and we are starting your Buffy education

An excuse to see Phil again outside of Beans and Grind — and so soon, too — was very welcomed, and Dan was glad that Phil seemed to see it that way, too. Did it come across as too eager if Dan tried to see Phil tomorrow? But Phil had said as soon as Adaline left, so maybe he was just as eager to see Dan.

Fuck it. Dan wanted to see Phil and he was complete shit at waiting.

Dan [12:16pm]: tomorrow afternoon

Sitting his phone down unlocked and face up on the bench, Dan shed his coat and pulled his sweatshirt over his head. He tugged on the women’s shirt he’d picked out, and appraised it in the mirror.

He liked it. He’d gotten a big enough size that it was fitted, but he didn’t think it was too tight, and he liked how the tiny silver metal studs popped against the black sweater.

“Oi, Addie, see what you think of this,” Dan called, popping out of his dressing room.

Adaline stuck her head out of her door, appraising Dan’s sweater. “I like it,” she complimented, sounding sincere.

“Yeah?” Dan fiddled with the hem. “It’s not too tight, right?”

“Definitely not, you look good in it. I’m sure someone would probably find it sexy if you wore it on a date.”

“Shut up,” Dan grumbled, he cheeks flushing. Secretly, he thought Phil might like him in it, too, but he felt embarrassed to be called out.

“You’re going to get it, aren’t you?” Adaline asked. Dan nodded. “God, you’ve turned so bougie,” she laughed.

“I’ve always had bougie taste, and you know it,” he shot back. It was true — their game of window shopping in expensive stores had started because Dan was obsessed with high end fashion from a young age.

“Doesn’t make it any less disgusting,” Adaline teased, ducking back into her room. Dan rolled his eyes and turned back to his own dressing room. When he got back inside, Dan saw that Phil had texted him back.

Phil [12:18pm]: I have a liveshow tomorrow night and I really shouldn’t cancel it :(

Oh. That sucked. Even though Dan had just seen Phil last night, Dan had been excited that he might get to see Phil again tomorrow night.

Dan bit his lip, trying to think of a way they might salvage the night somehow. After all, he only had two weeks left before he left for Germany for his concert, and he really wanted to soak up as much Phil time as he could.

Dan [12:26pm]: i could still come over and just fuck off while you do your live show

Fuck, did that sound too clingy? Was it too weird of a suggestion? Dan quickly tacked on another message, hoping to make it seem less odd.

Dan [12:26pm]: if that wouldn’t be weird

Dan’s heart pounded as he waited for a response. The three dots felt mocking as they flashed across his screen.

What felt like years later, Phil’s reply showed up.

Phil [12:27pm]: Not weird. You could just watch an episode without me?

Thank fuck. Frankly, Dan probably would have watched paint dry while Phil did his liveshow if that meant still seeing him tomorrow. He grinned as he went to type another reply.

Dan [12:29pm]: deal. i’ll text you after i’ve dropped addie off at the train station?

Phil responded almost instantly, which Dan hoped was a sign that he was just as eager to see Dan as Dan was to see Phil.

Phil [12:30pm]: Perfect :)

The shop clerk didn’t love the fact that they were only buying one sweater, even though they must have tried on thirty things between them. Dan felt bad, just for a second, until the clerk made a comment about how the sweater Dan was buying was a woman’s sweater. That sure made all of the guilt vanish from Dan’s conscious. In fact, he wished he’d made more of a mess of the fitting room. Whatever. People sucked.

After Versace, Dan and Adaline continued their pilgrimage down the street of high end fashion shops, ducking in a store every time they got cold or something caught their eye. A few stores, and hours, later, they were in Michael Kors. Dan wasn’t trying anything on — it was all a bit preppy for his taste — but Adaline had taken nearly half the store into a dressing room with her. Dan sat on a bench outside her room, critiquing every outfit she tried on. Near the end of her mini fashion show, she came out in a chic blue leather jacket that looks fantastic on her.

“You’re getting that,” Dan said instantly. “You need something cool to wear to the concert.”

“Lol, with what money, you dumbass?” Adaline deadpanned, rolling her eyes. “I’m pretty sure it’s like five hundred pounds.”

“Give it to me. I’m getting it for you as a belated birthday present.”

“Dan, you’re already taking me to Germany for my birthday!” Adaline rebutted, eyes wide.

“A gift that cost me precisely zero pounds. Give me.” Dan held his hand out expectantly for the jacket.

“You’re a piece of work,” Adaline grumbled, shrugging out of the jacket and handing it to him. “But thank you.” She flashed him a small smile. She may mock him for having bougie taste, but when it came down to it, she did too.

“Meet me by the tills when you’re done.”

After Dan paid for the jacket, he busied himself at the jewelry case while he waited for Adaline, looking at the watches for lack of anything better to do. Since Dan had just dropped a rather large sum on a jacket, the salesman was attentively eyeing Dan, probably hoping to make another large sale.

It was making Dan a bit uncomfortable. He had no intentions of buying anything else here — he hadn’t even planned to buy this jacket. The attentive gaze left him feeling like a circus animal being demanded to perform.

Fortunately, Adaline came to Dan’s rescue just as the salesman wandered over. Dan shoved the bag at her, pushing her out of the store by her shoulders.

“What’s the rush?” Adaline mumbled.

“That salesperson looks out for blood,” Dan whispered. He felt Adaline try to twist around to look, but he tightened his grip on her, steering her out of the door.

They’d only made it a few steps out of the store when Dan’s phone started vibrating again. Assuming it was another text from Phil, Dan had planned to ignore it - but then he realized that the vibration wasn’t stopping. That had to mean he was getting a phone call.

Digging his phone out of his pocket, Dan brought Adaline to a halt on the street, and glanced at the screen to find out who was calling him. Only, when he checked the caller ID, it was she same random London number that had been calling him since yesterday.

“Who the fuck is this?” Dan muttered, growing frustrated with the sheer amount of phone calls. With a burst of extroversion that Dan didn’t realize he had, he pressed accept. “Hello?”

“Hi Danny,” a honeyed voice replied.

Dan’s blood ran ice cold, body frozen. Fuck. Whatever he was expecting, this wasn’t it.

“Isabella,” He replied, the shock of hearing her voice had frozen him in place.

Adaline’s head whipped around to face him — apparently she was equally surprised to hear who was on the phone.

“Hang up,” Adaline commanded.

“What the fuck do you want?” Dan demanded instead.

“I don’t like how things ended between us, baby.” Isabella said sweetly, too sweetly. “I think we can fix this.”

Was she fucking serious? She’d cheated on him — multiple times, nonetheless — and for some ludicrous reason, she thought any type of relationship with Dan was salvageable?

“Really? Because I fucking loved finding out you’re a cheating whore!” Dan replied, sarcasm dripping from his words.

“It was a mistake, cariño. I feel so awful about it. I want to make it up to you.” Her voice was still too sweet — there was no sincerity to it.

“I know how you can make it up to me.”

“How? Anything for you, Danny.” Dan closed his eyes, cringing at the nickname. He could practically see her batting her eyes at him, could practically feel her fingers running down his arm.

“Fuck off Isabella,” Dan snapped.

“That’s not what I —”

Dan didn’t give her the chance to finish her sentence, though. Yanking the phone away from his ear, Dan took Adaline’s advice and ended the call.

“What the hell was that?” Adaline asked, eyebrows raised expectantly.

“I think she wanted to try to get back together,” Dan replied, perplexed, staring blankly at his screen. Her number was right there at the top of his call log, a heavy weight in his hands.

“Give me your phone,” Adaline ordered. Without thinking it through, Dan handed it over. He didn’t want it anyway.

“Wait, what are you doing?” He asked once he processed what was happening.

“Blocking her fucking number, obviously.”

For a fleeting second, Dan wondered if that was smart — if it was smart to completely block her out, to entirely burn the bridge between them. But then again, why the fuck would he ever want to talk to her again?

“Good,” Dan mumbled. And then again, more surely, “Good.”

[[next chapter]]

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #ly #love yourself #iminclinedtowriting #barista!phil #singer!dan #phan au #au #coffee shop au

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