#this one is angsty in the middle

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I've seen the last '"g-d made you perfect" that I can handle, and it's led me to a realization about how I think of g-d.

I don't think we were made perfect. We were made human. And, if I'm honest, the only perfection in my mind is g-d, and that sense of perfection is what differentiates humans from g-d. If humans were as perfectly-made as g-d, I for one wouldn't see the point in following, believing, trusting, caring for, or loving g-d.

I guess for me, I see the ways in which humans alter the Way We Were Created that I really don't think it's right to speculate as to if there's a limit to altering our abilities or bodies. For instance, as a trans person, I've definitely been inundated with this idea that because g-d made my body "perfect" that I shouldn't alter it ever, but isn't that a dangerous precedent? Is it really so, that our bodies are magically made perfect, as g-d that to even tamper with the idea of change would be the same as cursing g-d? I really don't think that's compelling.

I love thinking about just how much g-d is placed into people, but I don't think it warrants restricting the ability to learn, create, grow, or change. Thank g-d that He created the ability to change!

[sammy8d257]

TO YOU MAYBE

To ME, HE'S A LATE 20s/EARLY 30s YEAR OLD MAN WITH ISSUES

[oshaskell]

[luckyjorabbit]

Ruiner 🩸

[tomcat-radio]

Asteroid city doodles

[bumblingbabooshka]

[TUVOKTOBER: Day 16] Mr. Human!

[thefollow-spot]

"Untitled" (Liaison Amoureuse)

Lancelot/Merlin ● General Audiences ● WC: 100 ● No Warnings // Written for @merlinmicrofic 2024, for the prompt 'I'll Be There'.

---

With none of this should they be so bold, only Merlin is treacherous in love. In broad midday, Lancelot hides them—badly—and kisses Merlin until he’s giddied with being known. He whispers,

“My chambers, tonight.”

The others don’t see; Lancelot slips the clasps of proper-reputation frequent as Merlin, defter than Gwaine. Forget secret courtship—for this alcove, Merlin would do magic worth a thousand pyres.

Lips on throat, thumb tracing cheek. Everything is tingling sweet like drinking fresh spring melt.

“I’ll be there,” Merlin snickers, and tips his head forward, muffling his joy and face-aching grin into Lancelot’s gambeson.

[laviethepooh]

summary. when you’re burnt out, alhaitham is there for you, even though he’s just your roommate.

ft. alhaitham x y/n (no kaveh this time </3)

cw. modern!au, (optional: gifted kid) burnout

wc. 1.8k

notes. burnout sucks especially when you love academic validation :(( senioritis is coming for me soon and i’m trying to stay as motivated as possible to do work but even with college application results coming out well (i’m not letting digital footprint ruin anything for me but hey only 1 rejection and a deferral) i can feel that i’m losing energy to work on school. anyway  a mid story for a mid feeling :((

on a tuesday night at 2am after a long day of work, alhaitham walked past your bedroom door. although it was dark, he could tell that your desk lamp was still on by the faint glow that shone from under the door. you had spent the past several days up this late working on some sort of project. 

you looked miserable these days. your eyes were puffing, signifying that you had been crying recently and the bags under your eyes were so deep that he was certain that you had gotten an aggregate of an hour of sleep that week. during the rare times that you shared a meal together, you barely spoke and barely ate.

although school in general was a struggle, your major was significantly more demanding than the others. it wasn’t uncommon for you to stay up late working on an essay or finishing other homework, but this past week had been killing you and he could clearly tell.

however, he didn’t feel like it was his place to be saying anything to you. sure, you probably saw him more than your friends, especially since you were his roommate, but that didn’t mean the two of you were extremely close. other than the occasional grocery run together and conversations in the living room, you never spent much time together outside of the house.

but that night as he walked past your room, he heard sniffling. he paused, lifting his headphones to check if he heard correctly.

“i’m so tired of everything,” he heard you say from beyond the door, muffled by your sleeves.

he pursed his lips as he considered what he should do. on a normal day, he would have ignored it and gone to sleep since it was none of his business, but this time something was pulling on him to interfere, even if it was rude.

he took in a deep breath and knocked on your bedroom door.

“hey, are you in there?”

he heard nothing but silence on the other side of the door. then he heard some shuffling and the door clicked open.

as expected, you looked terrible. your eyes and cheeks were wet with tears and your nose was runny. your clothes and hair were disheveled and from beyond you, he could see several empty cups of coffee strewn all over your desk indicating that you were running on nothing but caffeine. your floor was covered in papers and pencils as if you had thrown them at the ground, perhaps out of a fit of anger.

“sorry, i must look like a mess right now,” you said, your voice thick, “but did you need something?”

haitham’s heart dropped after hearing your voice. he had never been so concerned for an almost stranger crying, but the tears threatening to spill over and the way your lips quivered slightly made him want to comfort you.

“i guess it would be stupid of me to ask if you’re alright.”

you gave him a small smile before looking at the ground. “it’s the thought that counts. but i’m sure you already know the answer. i know it’s a pigsty in here, but would you like to come inside?”

“if you don’t mind,” he responded as he stepped inside. besides there being a lot of stuff thrown around, it wasn’t nearly as bad as you made it out to be.

you ushered him onto the end of your bed and you sat beside him before letting out a long sigh.

“when did you start working today?” he turned to look at you.

you thought for a moment. “i woke up at around 6 this morning.”

“and went to sleep when?”

you went silent.

“i’m concerned for you. this isn’t healthy.”

“i know that, haitham. if i could, i would be sleeping from 9 to 6 everyday.”

he was confused. you were more than capable of finishing your work quickly and he had seen it done before. it was strange that you were even spending so much time on a project that he knew others had already finished a while ago.

“i’m just,” you started, “losing all my motivation. i don’t feel like doing anything. but the tuition is what’s preventing me from just dropping out entirely.”

you flopped onto the bed and covered your face.

“i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i used to love doing projects and writing essays for classes. but all of a sudden i just can’t do it anymore. i’m so tired.”

it was silent for a short moment as haitham considered what he should do. he knew that he was supposed to comfort someone in this kind of situation, but he didn’t want to cross a boundary that wasn’t meant to be crossed between roommates. despite this, he wanted to hold you in his arms in a way that wouldn’t be done between just roommates, even if it would make things awkward later.

he gently grabbed you and pulled you up so that you were in his arms. when he noticed that you were shaking from your sobs, he instinctively tightened his arms around you and stroked your head softly. you weren’t pushing him away, so he assumed he was making the right decision by doing this. with no comforting words to say, this was the most he could do for you.

after a long time, you finally pulled away from him, wiping your tears away.

“‘m sorry you had to see that,” you apologized although alhaitham was more sorry that he couldn’t do anything to help you. “i think that the lack of sleep has put my emotions into whack.”

he shook his head profusely. “i remember a friend of mine once saying that it’s important to release any kind of emotion you have.”

alhaitham followed your eyes as you stared up at the ceiling. “i’m not sure what it is. i feel like i’m such a disappointment. my grades are slipping at an exponential rate and i feel like i’ll never be able to catch up to them.”

he thought for a moment about what he could say to you. you got this and you’re doing great felt shallow and were probably very inconsiderate responses, even if he believed in them. asking you to take a break would be fruitless and telling you that your grades weren’t as important as your health would obviously not get through to you.

“do you want me to make you some food?”

you looked at his face for the first time in a while. it seemed that his offering was something that interested you. “what kind of food?”

“just some comfort food that my grandmother used to make for me. i could make some for you if you’d like? i’m not as good of a chef as she was, but i can replicate it pretty well.”

“well, i am actually kinda hungry,” you thought to yourself out loud. “i’d like to try your cooking! do you want me to help with anything?”

he shook his head in response. “just sit on the couch and try to relax. we can go back to your project after we eat, but take a break for the time being. i’ll help you with getting inspiration.”

you looked at him with wide eyes as you followed him out of the room and sat on the couch as he instructed.

“hey, why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden, though?” he heard you ask while he was getting some of the spices from the cabinet.

he paused mid-movement, hand frozen in the air. why was he being so nice to you? he knew he wasn’t a heartless person by nature, but he wasn’t very caring either, especially to someone who was just his roommate. he thought about your crying face and felt a literal pang in his heart. he didn’t even feel this way towards his friends (not that he had many).

“i’d rather see your face smiling than crying,” he finally responded simply.

you went quiet for a moment as if to try to take in what he said. “thank you. i don’t have many people i can turn to whenever i’m going through, i dunno, burnout or whatever. you were the first person who listened to me in a while.” he then heard you mumble something else afterwards.

“what was that? i didn’t catch the last part,” he said as he leaned around the corner to look into the living room.

you pursed your lips as if you didn’t want to say anything, but your eyes looked like they wanted to say it. you urged him to come closer and he set down the onion powder to sit next to you. you urged him again and he leaned in so that you could whisper into his ear.

“i said, it feels extra special since it’s you,” you said in a hushed voice before covering your face.

alhaitham froze again and started to feel heat creep up his neck and face. what a strange reaction to just nine words. however, you also seemed to be reacting similarly as you looked like you were about to die of embarrassment.

“you don’t have to reciprocate those feelings or anything,” you clarified. “it’s more than enough that you listened to me today and had to deal with everything.”

“but what if i do reciprocate those feelings?”

“what?”

“i said, what if i do reciprocate those feelings?”

you looked at alhaitham strangely. “well, i guess that would mean, uh, one of us asks each other out on a date or something. i don’t really know.”

“then would you like to have a dinner date with me right now?” he offered. his face was still very warm, but he was smirking regardless of it.

“wait.” you held up your hands in front of you. “wait, wait, wait. are you saying that you like me?”

he didn’t say anything but his expression remained the same.

“oh. well then, i guess i would like to go on a dinner date with you.”

alhaitham broke out into a smile. he never expected a confession would come out of a night like this. “we can go on a date after you go to sleep though. i wouldn’t want you falling asleep while eating dinner.” and he went back into the kitchen to put the finished dish into a bowl.

“hey haitham?”

he turned to look at you again. “yes?”

“thanks again.”

“anything for you.”

[headfullof-ideas]

Mindlessly scrolling through all my WIP’s to see all the ones I’ve somewhat forgotten about/which one I want to work on/procrastinating on the project I’m actually working on, and being faced with all the different flavors of Ant angst I’ve come up with, including, and maybe not limited to because I’m sure there’s some I’ve forgotten, or some I just haven’t come up with yet…

- What Happens Deep in Durae, aka my Vareekla!Ant series where he shapeshifts into an original creature of mine in an original world, and deals with all the body horror, existential crisis’, anxiety, and paranoia that comes with it

- Biological but Adopted!Ant, where Ant gets separated from his family at an early age, lives on the streets, gets ‘adopted’ by his family, and struggles with all the trauma from the streets, and adjusting to a wildly new lifestyle with people he doesn’t even know

- The Subnautica crossover I’ve spent two years working on, on and off, where Ant gets stranded on 4546b, and spends four years trying to survive on his own before he finally reunites with his family again

- Camp Cretaceous crossover where Ant and/or Fontaine go to Camp Cretaceous and deal with all of that, but it’s immediately after dealing with the Monumentials, and going to the camp was meant to be a de-stressing trip, where he and/or Fontaine just get the chance to be kids without worry, only now Ant’s trying to keep all these other kids who’ve never nearly died alive

- A Oneshot called Deep Down that I’ve also been working on, on and off, for a few years now, where Ant thinks about his feelings on the Scepter, how it’s changing him, and how scared and anxious he is about it all

- Another Oneshot that I haven’t touched in three years from Hammerheads point of view, where Ant gets hurt via maybe harpoon by a gang of morally worse pirates while in the Mimic Knight, and is forced to take shelter on the Dark Orca

- One called Runaway!Ant, because he’s on the run after being framed for bringing back these Lemurian assassin monsters that have gone out of control and are rampaging across the earth. He’s been framed for it by Proteus and some other Guardian jerk, who actually woke up the monsters to try and use against Ant after he wouldn’t team up with Proteus and wouldn’t deal with the Monumentials the way the Guardian dude tried to threaten him into doing. Super long explanation short, Ant is forced to run away to protect his family, but after he’s publicly blamed for the now worldwide threat the creatures are, with no way of defending himself against the accusations, he’s not even sure his family wants anything to do with him, or if they believe he really didn’t bring the monsters back

- Another one named Ant Clone Angst in my notes, but the big angst is that Antaeus Nekton died (and not painlessly either), and a handful of months later a kid in a secret lab who looks just like him, with half of his memories, is found by the World Oceans Authorities. But no one, not even the kid himself, knows if he’s just a clone made from Antaeus Nektons missing body, or Ant himself reincarnated. So Ant is having an existential crisis trying to figure out if he can even trust his own memories, not knowing if they’re his or not, and due to the (semi-reasonable, due to watching a kid who looks and acts and sounds like their dead child walking around and breathing) not-so-great reactions to his arrival and existence from the Nektons, Ant doesn’t think the people his memories tell him are his loving family even want anything to do with him. He also remembers dying

- The HTTYD crossover I’ve built but also tweaked, where Ant takes Hiccups place plot wise (I love Hiccup, but he doesn’t exist here) but at the end of the movie, him and the other riders (Snotlout, Fishlegs, the twins, and an OC I’ve only introduced on my Ao3 account) don’t go back to Berk and are living in exile, where they proceed to speedrun the entirety of RoB, DoB, RTTE, and then some over the next few years. Ant deals with racism, not thinking his family he’s never met (due to separation at birth trope) wants him, semi-mutism under pressure, horrific loss of left leg, touch starvation and slight aversion, and having half the Archipelago and then some after his and these other kids heads. World building wise, this story has been so much fun, but boy do I put Ant through the ringer in it (this is the one I’m currently working on)

- Aaand the one with the Winter Soldier that started as a crack conversation with my brother that got way too out of hand. Ant is (somewhat) like the Winter Soldier from marvel (ala sleeper agent activation code and assassin) but gets rescued (whacked upside the head) and is now struggling to live on the Aronnax and stop being a murderous little bean

- Ant is raised by the Guardians, but not like the one I’ve seen floating around on Ao3. Ant gets kidnapped almost immediately after he’s born to be raised by the Guardians, where Alpheus already is due to his dad and history with Guardians in Canon. But because the Guardians believe that Alpheus is the Chosen One, Ant is only there as a ‘backup’ in case things go south, being raised as a future Guardian. Ant is miserable, and manages to track down his biological family once he realizes he was taken and not given up like Alpheus was. Ant skips town to get back to the Nektons, and tries really hard to fit in. He gets really upset when Nereus shows up, and now has to deal with the Guardians and a furious Alpheus finding out he’s been ‘replaced’ by Ant when it’s revealed Ant is the Chosen One, not him

I’m sure there’s more than these. I’m sure there will be more to come to me in the middle of the night or while watching some new movie or something. But looking through them all, and then thinking back on the repost thread I had with @bluefrogbubbles about the Ant Angst I’ve written, i just thought…Tumblr might love this

[cirrocula]

um hi... come chase me too 🏃🏻🏃🏻

[taterswithranch]

He’s probably got the sweetest smile ; ;

[just-a-dinosaur-i-guess]

OPTION TIME!!!

fyonikonathan + 26

uhhh platonic kenji & jun'ichirou + 3

any platonic guild + 17

26. A kiss while one or both parties are crying

Crying makes Nikolai want to claw his eyes out and wrap up the remains in his tear ducts. And yet he here is, the evening before Fyodor shatters Nathaniel's mind, sobbing til his throat is raw. He looks around, about to reach for a piece of the mirror he's shattered when- "Nikolai." Fyodor's tone is calm, and when he looks over, Nathaniel is standing at his side too. Nathaniel stares at him with disdain, as if his tears are all an unsuitable, boring play. "Hah- heyy," Nikolai wipes his eyes, grinning, and strides over, wrapping his arms around Nathaniel. Fyodor rolls his eyes, leaning in to kiss Nikolai. It feels like poison, bitter and unsympathetic, but he leans in anyway. What really makes him feel vile, what really gives him the urge to crawl out of his own skin like it's a suit, is how Nathaniel's arms wrap around him. Because in the morning, he shall never even consider doing that again.

3. A kiss on the forehead Kenji gently presses a kiss to Junichiro's forehead, smiling at him, "Andd, there!" Junichiro blinks, "There, what?" "Your treatment is complete!" Kenji smiles at him, and Yosano looks over with a little smile, but doesn't comment. "..Oh." Junichiro smiles himself, chuckling a little, "Thanks."

17. An upside-down "Spider-Man" kiss

"This is gonna work." "I really doubt that." Lucy deadpanned, staring back at Mark. Huck and Tom were straining to keep him floating in air, and she knew that he was waiting for John to pass by so he could surprise him. "It will!" Mark tried to shrug, only to crumple to the floor. Lucy rolled her eyes and walked away, off to gossip to Margaret and Lousia, presumbly. With the two little guys all cranky at him, Mark opted to try again next day; only for when he stepped out of his room that morning, John was easily hanging upside down from the ceiling, vines keeping him there as if he belonged there. Mark snorted, "Competitive, huh?" "No more then you!"

[phosphorescentspaceman]

A fallen spaceman devoured by false stars

Lalna didn't want to be down here, but Xephos hadn't surfaced for days. He'd been in constant radio contact, but Lalna knew he'd barely taken enough provisions for a day, let alone a week.

Gingerly, he stepped through the sculk, his boots laced together and hanging over his arm, bare feet chilled by the cave stone below them. He walked onwards to Xephos' last location on his map, the ever brightening glow of the sculk making his blood chill. The whispers started suddenly, the soft moss dripping across the cave having deadened the noise. It was Xephos, his voice soft and syrupy sweet, like a child up too late at a sleepover. He startled in place when he realised the distant sculk he'd been scanning for a sign of his - his friend - shifted in place, making an idle hand gesture in conversation. He was nearly impossible to spot against the diffuse glow around him, his own glowing freckles appeared to have multiplied, sculk staining the bright red of his coat.

"No - no! Don't be silly!" Xephos' voice was so soft but he could hear the smile in it. "No - Lalna's - he's like my warden. He keeps me safe." A pause, a flick of his ear as Xephos listened to something Lalna couldn't hear. "I trust him, silly thing. He'd only ever lie to me to keep me safe." Lalna felt that like a stake through the heart and had to fight the wounded noise he wanted to make. "- mm. I don't always make good choices. It must be nice to be part of the hive like that." Had the sculk finally -

"But then he wouldn't be just mine anymore. That would make me sad." Lalna didn't like the nauseous swirl of emotions that banged around the walls of his chest. He didn't know if he wanted to hear this, these quiet truths a sleepy-voiced Xephos now struggled to keep secret. Beside him, a sculk tendril shivered, lighting up a little brighter.

"Lalna! Friend!" He could see Xephos rise, gently removing scraps of sculk from his clothes and placing them on the rare bare patches of stone around him. Xephos padded towards him, a nearly unnatural awareness of where he could place his feet to avoid standing on sculk. Nearly purring, he pressed his face into Lalna's shoulder looking up at him with newly doe-like eyes. "I missed you!"

"You've been down here for a week, Xeph." He couldn't stop the waver in his voice. Xephos seemed to catch it, a soft, heartbroken expression on his face.

"Oh - on Lalna I didn't realise - I'm so sorry!" Lalna wrapped an arm around him, burring his face into Xephos' hair. It still smelt the same. He felt something in him unwind a touch.

"Its - it's fine. I'm glad you're ok." Xephos looked at him, still frowning. Lalna caught another ear flick.

"We're going up to the surface now. You are going to carry me because you are good at keeping me safe. And also because my legs are numb." Lalna didn't get a chance to process that because half a moment later his arms were full of the other man. He couldn't help but laugh, hoisting him into a princess carry that had Xephos giggling.

"Ok, ok! I'll carry you!"

[bullsh1tterz]

IT'S ADAM & STEVE, NOT ADAM & EVE.

( @sioraiocht ) ... may have taken me 1000 years to make and I might have misplaced the moodboard call but--

[engagemythrusters]

1000% true reason Ezra's hair got short for s3 is bc Chopper Base is a warmer climate than Lothal and Ezra's got that nice thick hair yknow so time to give himself an edgy teen undercut (or whatever emo vibe he's going for that reduces hair on his head) to get his scalp to breathe. and so he has sabine come do it. but sabine is a perfectionist and, more importnatly, an older sibling. so she messes up once and goes "fuck" and then shaves him bald and tells him to come back in 6 months to try again

[bumblingbabooshka]

What being Sarek’s Favorite Child Does to a Motherfucker AKA: Mutiny Specialist

[Comic One Transcript] Michael looks off to the side as she speaks with Spock. They are both children. It is implied that Spock has asked Michael to tell Amanda she loves her. M: Why don't you just tell Amanda you love her? Instead of trying to live vicariously through my humanity. Spock appears flustered, caught off guard by the accusation. S: That's not-! I am simply... You are the only one who can do it, Michael! You are the only one and yet you will not- you will...not...n-not... Michael’s gaze stalls Spock’s tongue. Her expression is impassive with a hint of distain. Real or perceived? Her control is iron clad, unlike her Vulcan brother’s. Spock stops speaking, intimidated and suddenly self-conscious. He has seen this look before.  S: Those eyes...the eyes of Vulcan. [Comic Two Transcript] An adult Michael looks tired and disgruntled, vaguely annoyed. She has wrapped a ratty blanket around herself and she is speaking to Spock, ostensibly out of view. M: Spock, I could have spent every second of our childhoods telling Amanda how much I loved her. Seeking out and receiving hugs, kisses and praise. It would still never have been enough for you. You would still resent me. Because it was never about me and my (real or imagined) distance from Amanda. It was about yours. Michael pulls the blanket tighter around her. She looks remorseful. Her previously iron clad control has softened to a circle. M: ...And I am sorry. I'm sorry you could never say you loved her. None of us could, in the end...I wish I could have said it for you. I wish I could have held her for you. But I think you would have only hated me more if I did. [END]