#this one is also incredibly messy but i'll deal with it lol

[bloodinwine]

Warning: Whiny AF post This is gonna come out all messy and shit and a complete overshare because I'm emotional and I know it's a bad idea to write things and share them when you're emotional. But whatever. Writer. And what the fuck ever. People advise I take breaks all the time, but the thing is all I ever want to do is write. I want to disappear into Effy and Astarion's world. It's supposed to be my happy place but tonight instead I'm literally just staring at this screen trying not to cry like a bitch because FUCKkk after chp17 my brain is being so freaking hideous to me. It's usually like this after a chapter drop, but this has been just the worst. I already have chp18 outline complete and on one hand I'm happy with it right? Like I'm excited to write this chapter. But I also now have this fear of like...putting in what will probably wind up being 2 months of effort only to feel like I've failed. I wish I had tougher skin and I know I've definitely come a long way. My relationship with writing prior to fandom was even more fragile, but then again I never really shared my work. I knew this was going to be hard but I didn't realize how much. I do my best to be my own cheerleader but I can't say things like I don't give a shit or I won't let this get to me, because I do care so so much. This isn't just a hobby to me. Ah man...but I don't want to be like this you know? I want to focus on the good and the positive things. I went back and just spent some time reading so many of the kind words people have left. Read some older things I wrote and tried to just enjoy Effy being dumb lol.

Anyway, all this to say. I think I might need to fade away for a bit or take some steps back from fandom. I should be happy about sharing the chapter but I have to admit I just feel incredibly low right now and I don't think that's right. I promise I was so incredibly happy with it before I hit the post button. I never post anything I'm not happy with. That's why feeling all these ups and downs about it is so confusing and annoying for me. I think a lot about the advise I've gotten from others about building confidence around my writing. It's better, but man I'm just not fucking there yet. I don't know if I'll ever be. I really hope. I'm trying.

But no matter what I will never give up on UY. A piece of my soul is literally in that story. I will never give up on writing. I just can't deal with myself when I feel like this.

[toxicpineapple]

the big amamota essay

the age old question. why do i ship kaito momota and rantaro amami from new danganronpa v3: killing harmony. two characters who have one mildly hostile onscreen interaction in chapter one, a few interactions via the anthology, and now a shorter than short dr:s scene. is this deranged? maybe. but i've been in the fandom for a long time and as such i've had a while to do a lot of thinking, and kaito and rantaro are my favourite characters of all TIME, which basically means i live in their heads. i am them. they are me. they exist in my heart and brain. even when i eventually leave danganronpa behind, i will be taking them with me.

there are a lot of reasons and we're gonna get into the messy details down below, but for the ones looking for a true thesis style TLDR: i think they could act as a mirror for one another's weaknesses. i think they have opposing strengths that could complement each other. i think they would just straight up get along. i think they embody so many of the traits that the other admires most in people. they could take care of each other SO well. they're both asexual. and most importantly, i think they are both two people who have suffered so much and grew up so fast and together maybe they could have a little bit of fun.

(you know you're in deep when the tldr is too wordy. essay below!)

so one thing you probably don't know about rantaro unless you've done his free time events is that the motherfucker is evasive as hell -- but not to a fault. i'll explain.

first, here are some screenshots from rantaro's free time events with shuichi.

these screenshots are from rantaro's first and second free time events respectively. as early as his first hangout with shuichi, rantaro drops a mention of his biggest trauma, but quickly pulls back when questioned. then he continues to dodge talking about it, even when shuichi tries to inquire further. rantaro is secretive. he has a pretty good reason for this -- twelve missing sisters is a doozy -- but he does eventually open up to shuichi. later on he admits that the reason he dodged talking about it in the first place was because he was terrified that shuichi would judge him or tell him to give up on his search. rantaro is an incredibly dedicated person, so being told that he needs to quit the one thing he feels personally responsible for doing... yeowch. but it's obvious especially from the bonus modes where rantaro does NOT share information about himself that these free time events with shuichi are a rare occurrence. rantaro doesn't often share those kinds of personal details about himself.

which brings us to kaito. the biggest and best example i can point to, other than kaito's repeated attempts at hiding weakness throughout the game (from his ghost fear to his injury to going so far as to try and confront ouma himself rather than wait for the class to save him) is his harmonious heart event.

kaito clearly also struggles with lowering his guard around people. he does NOT want to accept help, especially from his sidekicks, but that's beyond the point of this essay lol. the point is kaito has a repression complex, but there IS a part of him that wants to be heard. he responds most positively to shuichi telling him that he can be weak.

which brings me to my first point as to why these two work so well for each other. we can see here that kaito and rantaro are both incredibly resistant to accepting help from people for their own reasons. rantaro has been doubted his whole life, dealing with a deep inner shame and fear of judgement for his mistakes. kaito doesn't want to be viewed as less-than or weak, but a part of him does want support and validation... do you see where i'm going with this?

kaito is the luminary of the stars! he's THE believe in you guy. if rantaro even started to hint about being a useless older brother, much like shuichi in the ftes kaito would not leave him alone. he'd persist until rantaro opened up, and when rantaro eventually does open up, he'd encourage him. he'd reaffirm that rantaro is doing the right thing, that he CAN do it, that it's possible and that kaito believes he will do it. it's the kind of support and validation rantaro hasn't received from anyone, even people who are well meaning, in such a long time. getting it from kaito would impact him deeply.

now on kaito's end, rantaro is very very observant. in his first fte with kaede he lists off really shrewd observations about miu, kiibo, and korekiyo showing he's good at seeing people are more than meets the eye. which leads me to believe seeing kaito he'd understand that while kaito does genuinely have passion for being a hero, he also has difficulties showing his weaknesses to others. rantaro is very tactful. i believe he would be very patient with kaito and let him open up on his own time, but seek him out. while he's scared of ghosts, while he's sick, you name it. he wouldn't have to say much. just that even heroes have their weaknesses. and i think that eventually, kaito would listen to.

the other part of this is that these two both have incredibly high eqs, so they WOULD be able to see that the other is struggling. they WOULD see that intense fear of vulnerability, of expressing themselves... and they'd recognise it in themselves, especially through witnessing or even dodging the others' attempts at helping them. rantaro is smart, he would call out kaito's attempts at helping him without accepting anything for himself, and kaito would NEVER accept a hand from someone who he couldn't support in turn. and as they get closer they'd start to think... maybe a little bit is okay. maybe if it's for his sake, it's okay. if i can help him, then i'll let him help me.

kaito and rantaro also have complementary strengths! kaito is inuitive, outgoing, vocally encouraging. rantaro is shrewd, observant, and a good listener. kaito is highly trusting to rantaro's distrust. rantaro is measured and careful to kaito's recklessness. kaito has temper issues, rantaro is extremely calm and rational. rantaro struggles to take up space, kaito will boldly make himself the centre of attention. kaito runs hot and rantaro runs cool. kaito conquers the stars and rantaro conquers the earth. kaito is the home that rantaro comes back to after every failed search for his sisters, and rantaro in turn is the home kaito wants to return to when he's out in space. they complete each other. they both have high eq but in different ways, with rantaro skilled at reasoning out why people are the way they are and kaito good at knowing where someone's heart lies. you'll notice this is also the thing they're missing. in canon rantaro never knows who to trust or how people will react to him. kaito struggles to understand ouma because he has no idea why he is the way they is. they can help each other to grow and cover each other's blind spots.

my next point is that they really would just get along! rantaro is incredibly tactful, never the type to be insulting or rude. you can see it in the way they interact in dr:s, when kaito is saying downright ridiculous stuff about looking for rantaro's sisters in space rantaro just thanks him for the help. he wouldn't call him stupid or belittle him or target his insecurities. and on the flip side i think kaito has so much energy and positivity, rantaro would really enjoy that. rantaro is so exhausted and beaten down by the world, meanwhile kaito looks at it with starry eyes. but it's worth noting that rantaro ISN'T a staunch pessimist. he DOES believe impossible things can happen, or he wouldn't be on his search. they would mesh in that way.

beyond meshing, i also think that the two of them really do mirror each others' admired qualities. we see this in the artbook, where rantaro comments that he likes space and kaito says something along the lines of "we should fight!" i think saying that he wants rantaro to join him in fighting the monokumas lol. kaito can tell at a glance that rantaro is formidable and could potentially hold his own in a fight, hence inviting him into the squad. furthermore, just take a look at rantaro's backstory. the dude is an adventurer. he travels the world by boat and survives close calls with spies and assassins -- KAITO WOULD THINK HE IS AWESOME.

rantaro also i think really would admire kaito's passion and expertise when it comes to space. he's a hard dedicated worker and rantaro would be able to tell, as well as recognise his talent in his field. i think he'd really admire that and want to learn more, especially enjoying space himself.

it's also worth noting that we see in kaito's love hotel that his romantic ideal is someone who can challenge him. someone who he admires who will be neck and neck with him... and who better than a seasoned adventurer who hasn't quite lost his spark yet?

as well as admiring each other, i also think kaito and rantaro would just be really really good at taking care of one another. kaito is such a high eq person and a good listener, highly attentive to the specific ways to reach out and comfort people, always there to lend a listening ear when someone's upset. he's really good with his words, and would be really good at offering rantaro pep talks when he's weighed down by his search. kaito is also very physically affectionate as his main love language with his friends, and i think that would really be good for rantaro who is so lonely and withdrawn.

rantaro as well is excellent with his words, perceptive, and caring. we see from his love hotel event that all he wants is somebody he can protect in some capacity. he'd want to take care of kaito and help him more than anything. in utdp we see him bringing back thoughtful souvenirs and making sure to show up for every major school event even with all his travels. he's attentive to other people's needs and what is important to them! he'd love to listen to kaito's space rambles and bring him gifts from all over the world as he continues on his journey.

kaito having someone who will listen to him is SO important to, because so many of his classmates and even his closest friends oftentimes brush him off or call him ridiculous for the things he says. i think rantaro would genuinely enjoy just hearing what he has to say. they pay attention to one another and enjoy spending quality time together. and i think kaito would absolutely insist on helping rantaro find his sisters, too, to the best of his abilities. travel montage :]

this is a quick note lmao but i think that kaito and rantaro of everyone have really strong asexual coding. i made a whole post about rantaro once but the long and the short is rantaro's aversion to sex in the salmon mode as well as his love hotel being nonsexual give me vibes, and then kaito's response to maki's confession as well as the utdp scene where he talks about peeping with leon and hifumi but ends up just talking about adventure the whole time... they're ace4ace. they are so comfortable in their own bodies together.

finally, i really do think these two could just have so much fun. kaito is so competitive! he'd challenge rantaro to all sorts of games and physical tests, bring him along to training, bring him out to enjoy the stars and go for outings. rantaro on the flip side will whisk kaito away to all kinds of foreign destinations and fancy restaurants. they can talk together in other languages and tour america, they can play fight, they can laugh together... i would like rantaro to read aloud to kaito and scratch his hair, or for kaito to carry rantaro on his back and jump into a lake...

it's the little things like that, you know? they just both grew up so quickly. we see how kaito ages in the killing game alone burdened by an illness and all the people who need him. we know he feels that way even outside of a killing game setting. and rantaro has this quest to find his sisters and NOBODY around to support him. when they find each other they can take the weight off each other's shoulders and really just... play. have a good time.

i know i'm insane. i know that there are people who ship these two because they're two attractive hunks or because one of them can take care of the other or whatever but for me it has always been about give and take with these two. mutual exchange. mutual vulnerability. mutual growth. they don't just add to each other, they learn from each other. they don't FIX each other, they CHOOSE to heal because when they get close together, they finally have a reason to. they finally have someone to heal for. they finally have a home again.

thank you. stan amamota for clear skin.

[theclearblue]

Is it bad that I feel personally victimised by WCI or am I just being dramatic?

I don't think so anon, I think the themes of family in WCI are some of the most personal and nuanced Oda has ever done and while tragic in so many ways, I think results in the best way of conveying how powerful found family is but also how someone can have complicated feelings towards their blood family.

Throughout all of One Piece, you can see this through line of found family and how blood relations isn't what matters in who you consider family (The ASL brothers, Bellemere and Nojiko for Nami, Kuina for Zoro, Zeff for Sanji, Saul for Robin, Tom and Iceburg for Franky, and while not a strawhat, Corazon and Law deeply affected me as well). This is obviously a trope Oda has liked writing for a long time and one he does well, but (with somewhat the exception of Marineford/Post-War arc with Whitebeard and Ace), WCI is the first time he really dives into these themes of what family is, and what I really appreciated, how messy it can be.

(I uhhh wrote a lot after the cut so be prepared for that)

And it's not just Sanji in this arc (I'll get to him though don't worry), from Germa, from the Big Mom Pirates, and the Firetank Pirates, so many characters are acting as narrative foils to Sanji and dealing with family related trauma, and responding to it differently. The ones that really got me were Pudding and Katakuri though, and they're pretty similar to each other as well. I've talked a little bit about Pudding already here so I'll talk a bit more about Katakuri instead, but it hit me really hard when he made a temple for himself, and he lets the rumors fly about "his back has never touched the ground, he's praying to a god of war, no one has seen him eat" and it's just. Him laying on his back, eating donuts happily. And the scene is kind of silly and funny right, but I kid you not my New Year's resolution this year was to just, try to be more comfortable in my living room/kitchen without thinking everyone is going to judge me for, what? Eating? Watching a show I like? Completely normal things, but if you've ever grown up in a house where just, EVERYTHING you do is picked apart and criticized by family, it's easier to just shut yourself away in a room and hide it. And isn't that tragic? Katakuri projecting this image of strength that his family asks of him so much that he feels he has to hide completely normal things like lying down and eating? I could go even deeper into this character but this is just one example of a character's complicated relationship with his family, where he hides so much of himself for them, but also it stemming from a place of love after what happened to Brulee when they were kids.

And now to talk about Sanji. Ohhhh where do I even start with this guy. As kind of a sidenote, if you've seen any of my posts from Thriller Bark through Punk Hazard, I was really struggling to like Sanji as a character and I didn't make that a secret. Which was upsetting to me because, from Baratie-Enies Lobby (and really good moments at the end of Thriller Bark and Saoboady) he was a favorite of mine! And at times I thought his character was done pretty dirty where he was stripped down to a singular gag and Oda leaned into it way way way too hard. But it's immensely satisfying to me to see all the little seeds Oda planted for so many years come to fruition in Zou and WCI, to the point I think he's turned from being the most one note strawhat to the most nuanced and layered in the span of a singular saga. And that was incredible to see.

I think what really captivated me about Sanji from the beginning were how strong and rigid his convictions are, and that even though he's kind of a rude brat (I say that with love lol), he's so undeniably kind, even to a fault. And with his first backstory we see how a lot of his rigid rules he's made for himself come from, it's from Zeff. He doesn't hit women, he'll feed anyone who's hungry no matter what, and he learns to fight to protect people he cares about, but he isn't really a fighter in the same way Luffy and Zoro are, and that's made clear in his desire to protect his hands in a fight so that he can do what he really loves, and that's to cook. A lot of what makes Sanji who he is today is shown here, but Oda was smart in showing aspects of Sanji that clearly don't stem from Zeff without telling the audience why for the longest time.

He shares the dream of the All Blue with Zeff, but where did it come from? Zeff is kind of similar where he has this hard exterior but underneath is kind as well, but it's taken to another level with Sanji where it becomes self sacrificial. Throwing himself down the mountain on Drum Island, taking the lightning bolts from Enel for Nami and Usopp on Skypeia, boarding the water train alone to try and get to Robin, and most prominently, at least for me, him trying to take Luffy's pain at the end of Thriller Bark instead of Zoro, where he very clearly places more value on Zoro's dream and life than his own. That was the moment to me that made me really realize he does not see value in himself, unless he's providing something he deems useful. And if the situation calls for it, he'll throw his life and dream away if that makes him "useful" not realizing that the crew don't see him as this dispensable thing like he sees himself.

And all of Sanji's strengths and flaws as a character just come to make this perfect storm and mess that is Whole Cake Island. And the kindness that is Sanji's most definitive trait is so clearly not in this family, at least not seen at first. His brothers are made to have no zero empathy and beat down on him constantly, verbally and physically, and Judge just watches and doesn't care, eventually just hides Sanji in a cell and pretends he's dead. Because he was physically weaker and human. And yet he continues to cook because he loves doing it, he remembers his mother's kindness, and his dream of the all blue is formed in a small dark room and just. This got to me big time. Not to get too personal but the set of expectations put onto Sanji by his family, ones he can never live up to and finding passion in something his family finds to be worthless and a waste of time. Finding an escape in books and finding his dream there even though everything around him is hell. Slowly realizing the extent of cruelty that his father will go to as he grows up. Very unfortunately for me this might be the most relatable character I have ever come across in regards to my own experiences. I'm someone to voice my thoughts on things even if nobody else cares (hence why I've been liveblogging on here since Drum Island I think lmao) but while watching Sanji's backstory it affected me like nothing else ever has. It's not even something that made me cry really, I was just in shock after watching it for awhile. And Reiju saying to Sanji, "There are people out there who will accept you for who you are, you need to get out of here" which is so similar to what Saul said to Robin and even similar to what one of my sisters said to me growing up. Yeah. I also felt personally victimized by Whole Cake Island lmao.

But the end result of Sanji's arc is so beautiful and amazing. Sanji putting on this act of looking down on Luffy, and once again trying to sacrifice himself to protect those that he cares about, but Luffy just cuts through the bullshit because he knows that isn't really Sanji talking in that fight. Luffy's speech as Sanji is being driven away where he says that he can't become the pirate king without him by his side. This isn't an original thought but Sanji and Zoro both kind of represent different aspects of Luffy's dreams. Zoro with a seemingly impossible ideal and putting 100% of yourself into it. "I will become the greatest swordsman." "I will become the pirate king." But Sanji's dream of finding the All Blue reflects Luffy's dream of finding the One Piece. They both don't know if either of those things are even real (the audience at this point knows the one piece is real, but to my knowledge and where I'm at, Luffy doesn't). Yet there's this childlike wonder they both have about these dreams, because, what if it is real? Luffy knows that Sanji is irreplaceable because of the ideals that they share, not because of what Sanji can provide or be "useful" as.

It takes so much for Sanji to go running back to Luffy, and even when he does, he obviously gets insecure again and starts listing off reasons why he isn't worthy enough to go back to the Sunny and to the crew. And God is it satisfying to see Luffy absolutely rock his shit for saying that and asking him to just SAY what he really wants. And Sanji breaking down and saying how much he misses the Sunny and the crew and also airing out how he feels backed into a corner and doesn't know the way out, that he wants to help his family even though he doesn't consider them family and he KNOWS it doesn't make sense, he is being kind to a fault again. But Luffy smiling at him and saying "Well, that's just how you are. Let's go crash the wedding." That's when I started sobbing lmao, because there is such unconditional love and kindness in that statement that Sanji has so desperately needed ever since his mother died. Someone who just accepts him and all his faults wholeheartedly, and is that not the most beautiful representation of family??? His relationship with his blood family is so messy and complicated and full of mixed feelings(and that's very common), but his feelings about Zeff and Luffy and the rest of the strawhats are so clearly full of adoration and unconditional love for them, and they feel that same love for him as well! How lucky all of them are where they found their people, and how everyone else in this world has that opportunity to find the space and people they truly belong to, not tied down by blood. Whole Cake Island's themes on family were so well done and also fundamentally changed me as a person I think.

[nanatsuyu]

Top 5 vs Personal 5

List your top 5 fics ranked by kudos on AO3. are you surprised by what's most popular to your readers? then provide your ranking of your personal top 5 fics, and tag a few fellow writers!

oh boi these make me nervous but thank you @mostlymaudlin ;; (tagging: @skvaaader @jaywalkers @annawrites @marianjos @kevneildependant @takitalks)

i'll follow format cus this looks pretty and personal favs first feels nicer to share. (i havent posted a lot of fic so there's a bit of overlap)

that's just something people say (T), 119k, andreil || slowburn road trip au where neil steals andrew's car and andrew makes a deal to take neil west before they part ways again (haha...unless? 👀) this is my baby that i worked on for several months and posted every chapter in one day lmao it was my first chapter fic and my first major au. im still very proud of it <3

better safe than damned (E), 18k, andreil || a smuttier au of an au with demon!neil and witch!andrew and tentacles lol it sounds depraved, and the tags make it sound really depraved but half that word count is aftercare and exploring ones comfort zones and sexuality? so its personal and one of my best written smutfics imo

what a chatty creature (T), 14.7k, kandreil || 5 times neil goes nonverbal and the one time he finds his voice. i wrote this for my friend gull and had them give me 6 of their favourite words and included those in each part. i liked exploring communication with kandreil when in a slightly different font

messy (E), 10.3k, kandrew || au where kevin and trans!andrew are fwb (but more because feelings are fun) its another soft smut where andrew thinks too much, and hes a bit further in his healing, but reservations are still that. i like playing with their dynamic a whole lot. i was incredibly nervous to post this but im glad i did <3

taptaptap (T), 7.2k, kandreil || canon divergence kandreil where theyre a year or so removed from college and in love, but kevin and andrew never resolved The Incident after baltimore. this was my first big softie fic of them. i love kevin with my whole heart and i think he should be happy always so this one is close to me

taptaptap (T), 7.2k, kandreil || this one doesn't surprise me when it comes to popularity. its super soft and canon divergent and my first non exchange/gift fic!

that's just something people say (T), 119k, andreil || its a 100k+ slowburn andreil fic. it was bound to do numbers but its also very validating because i worked so hard ;;

like you swallowed a bone (T), 7.6k, gen twinyards and nicky || mixtape post canon fic exploring what happened with the twins and nicky's relationship years down the road. i think this got popular because of age and i still really like it, but im not sure what sparked this one for people lol

what a chatty creature (T), 14.7k, kandreil || this def got popular because fuzzy and kandreil and its relatively low stakes in drama (not that i write particularly dramatic things but yknow)

morning coffee (E), 9.8k, kandreil || post canon divergence smut with the boys before neil has an interview. kandreil smut speaks for itself in popularity lol i am still incredibly fond of this one and its gotten a lot of comments recently which has been nice. wrote it because i wanted to see more fic that felt like kandreil and not just andreil + kevin

im terrible at boosting my own stuff because i never feel like i explain myself well enough to sell my ideas or fics which is definitely reflected in my summaries that i have often been told "do not do the fic any justice" lol that and im horrified of people saying theyre silly but at least a few people think theyre pretty neat! :^)

[ironicsopsychotic]

First Line Ask Game! Rules: List the first lines of the last ten stories you published (or works in progress if you’re feeling brave lol). See if you or others notice any patterns!

ooh okay i've done this before (i think you might've been the one to send it to me lol) but only w wips, so i'll do this w my published fics/fic updates! thank you, babs <33

like some kind of vision (ch3/3)

The next few days solidified something in Nina’s mind.

the hard part (03. in series)

Two days. Two days after Amber gave the breakup news, two days of incredibly uncomfortable Sibuna meetings, two days of Eddie blatantly lying to himself that ending their whole tryst wasn’t a big deal. Two days of all of that, and then Nina sent him to the clearing in the woods for a solo mission but showed up five minutes after he did. Two days, and she told him that waiting for things to cool down wasn’t cutting it for her. He took in her words slowly, but he took them in, and he took in the meeting place, and then he took her in.

then somebody bends, unexpectedly. (ch6/7)

Her last first day of high school sits oddly in the pit of her stomach.

03:00.

22:49. “We need to move that chair. And that couch.”                 “No, don’t drag it!”                 “Shh!”                  “Alfieeee, you’re on my hair.”                 “If Victor wakes up we’re pretending to be asleep, alright Yacker?”                 “While we’re standing up? Good plan, Weasel Face.”                 Whoever had the brilliant idea for a couples’ movie marathon the night before summer break began should have been exiled from Anubis House, because while Sibuna and Co. got along for mysteries, apparently moving furniture was just too hard.

subtext

From the moment the words “big brother figure” leave Jamie’s lips, EJ is certain his heart slowly breaks over the rest of opening night.

it's called "therapy," and we all need it.

H of A | 5:16pm [eddie] wth is vic on his period or something the man’s even more unhinged than normal

yes, and?

By the time Gina’s Uber drops her off outside the Caswell-Porter(?) residence, it is well into the late afternoon and her head feels heavy with too many overdue realizations. 

tugging on my heartstrings

After Mr. Mazzara delivers the news of the cast getting benched for a week, Gina is more than ready to curl up on the couch and knit for a few hours. Ashlyn has Big Red upstairs for some Career Day-adjacent thing, and Gina has no plans to interrupt their coupley evening, so she settles with her legs crossed in a bathrobe, full pajamas, and warm socks and gets to knitting.

messy

Her last day in America shouldn’t be a memorable one.

what teenagers do (ch2/?)

Nina was seriously wondering why they even bothered sneaking up to the attic when Victor was home. She and Fabian could be geeking out over some ancient Egyptian artifact upstairs in Vera’s old bedroom, thrilled with their progress and excited to update their friends, and then it would all be ruined two seconds later by Victor showing up.

so things noticed: i haven't uploaded much in the past two years gkrlg. interesting to see the similar messy and tsbu ch6 openings, both of which were followed up w explanations afterward. the more humorous openings (03:00 and it's called "therapy") have more snapshot/dialogue intros, but everything else varies from one-liners to paragraphs. i didn't realize it split pretty evenly, but i am conscious of not beginning everything the exact same way. also kinda cool to see the hard part move up from the wips ask to the published ask

[yoongle-boongle]

"so you won't get any scars, i'll hold you. even when i'm hurt, i'll guard you. no need to worry, i'm here for you. look at my smile, it's my all for you." - 🧸

[fallinfl0wers]

umm hello!! i’m kinda embarrassed right now because i don’t know if i’m sending my request correctly, so I apologize in advance (;o;) btw about scenario: can you please do hc or whatever you’ll find the best with Scaramouche and male!reader who is a member of his… troops? detachment? group? (i’m so stupid sorry TT) so, reader is the one who has been with Scara from his very first day as a Harbinger, fulfilled every assignment with utmost precision, never gave cause for disappointment, and so on. reader is always like: "as you wish, my lord, I will destroy the entire camp of those travelers, just wait for a second" and then he goes and does it without any regret. his devotion is so unshakable that reader can even respond to the orders of the other Harbingers in that way: "I apologize, let me ask my lord's permission… my lord said no” omg i really love this part. however, after so many years reader discovers that he is absolutely fascinated by the traveler (I mean, Aether/Lumine) after that meeting in Mondstadt. then they often meet so reader can help with some some daily orders (hiding it all from Scaramouche ofc) and have fun together, it’s obviously reader’s first free “sunny” time. until one day, encountering the traveler in role of Fatui, reader can see traveler’s ruthless fight with Scara and simply: “No, this is not at all what I saw in him/her”. Argh, I know it all sounds absolutely messy and ridiculous, but I've been thinking about this scenario for months. my brain shuts off every time it comes to Scara .°(ಗдಗ。)°. I'm not completely sure what kind of relationship I would like to see between Scaramouche and reader, therefore, platonic nor romantic will look perfect for me, no matter what you choose. oh, and yes, I'm incredibly grateful in advance if you do decide to take my request, I swear, I'll be at the cloud nine! (sorry for mistakes, english is not my first language)

have a good day 💛💫

It doesn't have to be like this

summary: you have followed one man for your entire professional career as a fatui member, your lord scaramouche. then, the traveler appeared in your life, and you find yourself feeling attracted to her one way or another. but how do you deal with your newfound friendship on the traveler, knowing that your oh so dear lord scaramouche has eliminating her as his mission? includes: scaramouche & male!reader (platonic), lumine x male!reader / lumine & male!reader (platonic) (can be read as either, there's just too much admiration going on here from you to her too lol), paimon & male!reader (platonic). warnings: reader used to be on the streets, talk of murder and staged suicides (not very explicit), talk of debt, at the start reader is a young teen (13~16-ish) and by the time he meets the traveler he's around 18 to 19-ish, also, reader does a lot of not so morally correct stuff because he's fatui and he follows orders so... yeah. format: headcanons (140 bullet points + a small scenario... this is so long it turned into a monster-) thank you for your request!! >< and i'm sorry it's out so late!! i felt a bit confused at first, but i think i got everything you specified in the request!! i left it as platonic with scaramouche because i liked the idea of reader looking up at him as a big brother figure of sorts :") it was just so cute, i couldn't help myself >< this got... a lot, lot longer than i expected when i started writing but i didn't know how to stop before the ending i wrote here?! and i think i might write a sequel some day! would anyone like to see that? i hope you like it!

You joined the Fatui when you were very young.

It wasn't like you were a loyal devotee of the Cryo Archon or a Snezhnayan nationalist, not at all.

You simply had no choice.

You didn't have a lot of money, and there was only so much an orphan, young teenager could do to survive on his own in Snezhnaya's cold streets.

Unable to travel to other regions to find a better life for yourself, what was the next best thing to do?

Join the military, it seemed.

When you joined the Fatui, you only knew essential self-taught self-defense you had to pick up to survive on the streets.

Well, their training, as hard, cruel and, frankly, inhuman as it was, shaped you into a true warrior.

At this point, you were already very thankful to the organization. They trained you, gave you food and a place to sleep. That was all you were looking for when you joined, really.

And you were kept on training for a long time, bonding with some of your usual teammates, wondering when you'd be able to join one of the five harbingers' teams and do something actually interesting or fun instead of just staying here and training all day long.

And then He came along.

He, who had the most beautiful face you had ever seen in a man (or woman- or a person in general- how could a person this beautiful exist?)

He, who wore a bored expression as his eyes scanned through the bunch of soldiers that lined up in front of him.

"This is Scaramouche, the Sixth Harbinger," Pierro introduced the man. "And you all will be working under him from now on."

To say the entire troupe was surprised would be an understatement.

This man looked so... young and delicate. His face even made him look fragile and, in all honesty? Kind of weak.

He didn't look like he was much older than you. In fact, when he looked around as if analyzing each and every one of you, his bright, big eyes even made him look younger than he should be.

Well, that was fine, he looked nice enough--

"Did you want to say anything?" He knocked a soldier who dared to laugh at his appearence off his feet without even breaking a sweat, his pupils contracting as he crushed the soldiers ribcage with one foot. "Go on, I'm listening to you loud and clear."

"I- I'm sorry, sir-!" "Useless. Get out of here."

You take that back, he's not very nice.

As the months went by, one by one most of your old teammates were either fired, gravely injured or transferred to different squads because of him.

You were one of the most efficient soldiers he had, that much you could affirm with pride and no hesitation, so you were safe.

In no time, you started to hear rumours about him from other soldiers in the training grounds and during meals.

"No one can stand him, not even the other harbingers like him." They said. "He's only a brat who should learn when to shut up." They said.

During his first months as a harbinger, no one really took him seriously due to his pretty, frail appearance.

Which lead to some of your superiors, some generals and other elites who openly admited wanting to become harbingers themselves, trying to bully him out of the position as if that would do anything.

Maybe it was how young he looked, or because he seemed so unassuming and unintimidating at first sight, they thought he would easily break under their pressure.

But here's when you first started to look up at him.

He never kept quiet.

He always stood up for himself and his ideas.

He never once let anyone try to step over him, and always showed his superiority at all times, never once backing down when someone tried to hurt him in any way.

He would always get what he wanted when he wanted it, and he always won every battle he was in with seemingly no effort at all.

To you, who had grown up going from one orphanage to another and then wandering the streets all on your own, he looked like an ideal turned into a person.

When you were younger, you'd get bullied by your peers on the streets, or you'd get your food stolen away from you by older kids.

Hell, even within the Fatui, you had been degraded by many superiors and fellow soldiers when you first joined!

So watching someone who looked as frail as you used to be standing up for himself against everyone and everything made you feel... things.

You started to look up to him.

So, being as young as you still were at that moment, you did your very best to impress him!!

And either that worked or you just were very good at your job, you didn't know for sure, but even when most of the Balladeer's original troupe was gone for one reason or another, you stayed on his elite group.

He seemingly took notice of this, because his eyes would linger on your a little too eager form whenever he assigned different orders to everyone.

...And he also started to test you, constantly.

"Destroy that hilichurl camp before we continue." He'd say, signaling to a comically gigantic camp full of hilichurls and with four mitachurls holding axes. "Alone."

"As you wish, my lord!"

Yeah, you were definitely one of his best soldiers, if not the best out of them all, he thought as he watched how you dealt with the entire camp on your own with your weapon and vision.

"Get that woman to confess where she's hiding the ores she owes to us, and do it quick." He'd order to you another time.

"As you wish, my lord!"

Then he'd see you sweet talk that nameless woman into trusting you with the location of the ores for Scaramouche to take over and deliver the necessary punishment for lying to the fatui and avoiding paying her debt.

"Kill that man, and leave no proof behind." He'd order you on a rainy night in Fontaine, to which you'd nod.

"As you wish, my lord!"

The next day he'd hear news about a businessman found hanging in his room after 'commiting suicide' and leaving a note behind, not a single thing out of place.

(At the time that impressed him a lot, ngl).

Even when you found yourself receiving orders from other harbingers, you would always check on with Scaramouche before going along with them or not.

"My Lord said I can't. My apologies, My Lady." You'd bow to Signora, who would send a nasty glare at Scaramouche who stood behind you, smiling.

Yeah, you did a lot of... not so morally correct stuff for him with little to no hesitation, but!! Who could blame you?

You were still very young, owed a lot of things to the organization, and admired Scarmouche a whole lot!

He was your hero, and you seeked out his approval and recognition.

You looked up to him like you would to an older brother.

As time went by, he had you sticking together with him for almost everything. Not only professional stuff, but also more personal stuff.

Having lunch? You'd sit next to him.

Free day? You'd go anywhere he wanted with him.

It was a strange sight for everyone, but he grew attached to you as you did to him.

He treated you less coldly than he treated everyone else.

He would smile a lot whenever it was just the two of you spending time together, and he would also laugh more, and he would affectionally pat your head every now and then.

He trained you personally.

He remembered your birthday and got you presents and a fancy dinner with all your favorite foods.

You hang out together most of the time, yeah.

He finds the way you look up to him and fulfill your orders with your eyes sparkling and looking for his approval very endearing.

It also boosts his ego, a lot.

You started to see a different side of him he showed to no one except you.

He was demanding, he always was, but in a more personal setting, it was more childishly endearing than it was intimidating.

He was also a perfectionist, finding faults in everything and trying to fix them until he couldn't see them anymore.

His sense of humor was kind of dry, but you found it fun anyway.

He was also very protective over you.

He knew you were the strongest out of all his soldiers and trusted you a lot, but when you got into more trouble than it was worth and got hurt in the process, he nagged you to the abyss and beyond until you apologized and promised not to do it again.

He saw you as a little brother.

He thought it was obvious, since he openly voiced his favour towards you at all times and spent time with you doing whatever came to mind and took interest in your own interests.

But you were surprised when you heard it for the first time!

"M-my lord, do you... do you really mean it?" "Of course I mean it! Why would I say it otherwise? You better remember that, because I'm not repeating myself."

He shows you he cares about you in either indirect ways or extremely straight-forward ways, there's no in between for him.

He either gives you a cup of your favorite tea or coffee when you get stuck dealing with paperwork with him or has all your work done by somebody else so that you can take a break.

He's a bit of a tsundere and you find that really cute ngl.

He lets you borrow his hat if you want to, he thinks it suits you well too.

Like I said, he sees you as a little brother he wants to protect at all costs.

He stands protectively in front of you if there's anyone trying to bully you due to your (you admitted) privileged position as his favorite recruit and deals with the ones who bother you with a single flick of his wrist and the power of electro.

Which, if you're taller than him, makes for a very comical scene.

If you're shorter, taller or his same height- he doesn't care, he only wants you to be safe and have the best of the best.

This man was so lonely before and had no interest in other people, and when you showed up and treated with the respect and admiration he felt he deserved, he couldn't help but get attached to you.

At this point he really thinks of you as his family, you're one of his only priorities in life.

That's why you're always with him for everything.

For everything from a lunch break to boring paperwork to important missions overseas.

...That's how you met Lumine.

That one blonde traveler Scaramouche said you'd be looking for as a side-mission of sorts while researching the meteorites.

You were suppossed to be looking for her while undercover and trying to asses her abilities and habits for him to catch her and easily dispose of her.

But? She was?? so nice to you???

She'd help you with your 'comissions' and would hang out with you as you 'helped' her search for clues on her twin's whereabouts.

And honestly, as you spent more time with her, you started to see the world in a slightly different light.

Sometimes you'd stand awkwardly at her side while she and her small floating companion complained about the Fatui.

"They are so annoying! Always causing trouble for everyone..." Paimon would complain. Trying not to choke on your food, you would nod at her words just like Lumine did. "I know, right..."

They... they didn't know what went on in the organization! What would they know?

...Okay, you weren't as naïve as you were when you first joined, even if it stung a little, you now could admit that you guys weren't the best military organization when it came to fairness...

But spending more time with Lumine made you feel a lot of things regarding your current standing.

On one hand, you had only survived this far because the Fatui were willing to take you in and your life was easier than ever thanks to your relationship with Scaramouche.

On the other, as you grew up and now that you were seeing from the other side of the argument with her, you could see how everyone in the Fatui -your Lord Scaramouche, close friends, teammates and yourself included- did... more harm than good in a lot of cases.

But there's nothing else you've known during your entire life.

Nothing besides your loyalty and admiration for Scaramouche and your love towards your friends, who were all in the organization.

Still, you couldn't bring yourself to hate Lumine or Paimon for the things they said about the Fatui.

The two of them were just so sweet and kind to you, and you found yourself enjoying their presence.

Specially Lumine's.

For the first time in what feels like your entire life, you find yourself feeling awe and admiration for someone who isn't Scaramouche whenever you're with Lumine.

Even on the battlefield, she's graceful, kind and precise with her movements.

You don't think too much about style when you fight, but you start to think it would be nice to look like that while fighting so maybe she could teach you how she-

You really felt attracted to her.

Maybe it was her kind and cheerful personality that drew you in, or maybe another thing entirely, but soon enough you couldn't help but look forward to meeting her.

All of your meetings with her were kept a secret from Scaramouche, who assumed you had met someone completely different you were interested in since you only slipped away from him when you didn't have orders to fulfill.

He felt a little jealous, but wouldn't admit it.

He was still the one who was closest to you out of everyone in this world!!

So anyway-

You're very close to Lumine now, practically a part of her adventure team.

And she still doesn't know you're a Fatui soldier.

Hahahaha she doesn't need to know, right? You're not doing anything wrong by not telling her, right?

You two are really good friends (or maybe more, it depends on how you think of her), and she trusts you too much.

Too much.

It makes you feel bad since you can't tell her what you truly do for a living :(

And you are coming up strangely empty handed whenever Scaramouche asks you for updates on her.

It isn't like you at all.

But you're torn between the two.

You don't want to betray your friend, but you don't want to disappoint him! Anything but that!

So you... you lied and gave him fake information.

Which resulted in the two of you along with the rest of the team going back to Snezhnaya to report Scaramouche's discoveries on the meteorites.

So you had to say goodbye for now to Lumine and Paimon :(

You guys were having so much fun, too...

"I have to go back to my homeland soon... My brother is waiting for me." You'd told them one afternoon. "We're going to miss you a lot!!!" Paimon hugged the side of your head as you said your goodbyes. "I don't know when we'll meet again, but... But I'm sure we will!" You nodded at Lumine's words. "Until then, stay safe out there!" You smiled at the two. "You as well!"

But the next time you met wasn't as amicable as the others.

You wore your full uniform, mask included, so she didn't recognize you when she saw you.

And you stood there, frozen as you watched her fight with Scaramouche.

Ruthless, with nothing but sheer force and elemental attacks.

That was how both of them were going at each other, with no mercy.

No... you didn't want this... You- you didn't want the two people you looked up to the most to fight each other!!

But what could you do?!

"Y/N, support!" Scaramouche called your name, to which Lumine looked back at you with widened eyes. "Y/N?! You- you're with him?! You lied to me?!" Scaramouche looked back at you for a second. "We'll talk about this later, now come and help me out. That's an order."

Your hands were shaking as you looked between the two, more scared than you've been in years.

"I don't want to see you fight."

Your heart was beating violently as you watched them fight, and you kept silent, frozen in place, torn, not knowing what to do.

"I don't want it to be like this."

It was when you saw Lumine almost slashing a strand of Scaramouche's hair that you felt your feet moving on their own, as you set yourself in between the two of them, blocking both their attacks with your own weapon and vision.

"It doesn't have to be like this."

"Stop! Please, stop, you don't have to fight!" You say, earning yourself a glare from both of them. "Y/N, step away from her." Scaramouche warned you. "Y/N, move! I don't want to hurt you!" Lumine halted her attacks at the sight of you. "I- I can't, let's just- We can talk this over!"

"Are you with us or against us?!" Paimon was the one who asked the question.

Still shaking and torn, you yell.

"Stop! Just stop!" You take off your mask, turning to look at Lumine with hope shining in your eyes. "You want to find your brother, right? Then join us!"

"What are you-?!" But you didn't let her continue her thought.

"If! If you join us no one will chase you down and you'll have all of our resources at your disposal! A-and we- we can go on more adventures together like we used to!"

To that, Scaramouche narrowed his eyes.

"You did what with her?"

You can feel tears stinging your eyes, but you will them away to look at him.

"I-isn't that right?! If- If the traveler joined us we wouldn't have to hurt her!" Scaramouche clicked his tounge.

"It is true, but she won't because she's a weak coward."

"Don't speak about Lumine like that!" Paimon yelled at him, hiding behind her. "We would never join a meanie like you!"

"Y/N, who are you with?" Lumine asked you, making you go still.

Between Scaramouche, the man you've followed most of your life, who always supported you and helped you become stronger and made you feel proud of who you were, and Lumine, the traveler who showed you the other side to the life you'd held all these years and welcomed you with open arms and warm smiles all the time--

How were you supposed to choose?

It doesn't have to be like this.

But if it had to,

who would you choose?

[galvanizedfriend]

Klaroline Fic Rec: Quiet Light

Quiet Light by @definedareasofuncertainty✨

So I figured it was maybe time I started writing my fic recs again. I can't commit to a whole week or month of recs, but every now and then I will come out with a new one to one of the stories I have read recently! Already have a few in mind. 👀 Decided to start with Quiet Light by @definedareasofuncertainty, and the fact this is my birthday gift is only *part* of the reason. This is also an amazing story I think more people should be reading! (It's a Klaroline story, even though it has Carolijah as well, but since I am *me*, I decided to go with a Carolijah moment that had my heart in shatters - Luiza knows which scenes I'm thinking about here - also because they're so beautiful and I don't want to waste a chance to use some Carolijah edits, OKAY? Sue me.) Summary: Caroline Forbes sets off to the Bahamas with her boyfriend, Elijah, where she'll finally meet his brother for the first time. But as it turns out... she knows Klaus Mikaelson a little too well. Why you should read it: I'm biased to talk about this fic because it was written *for me*, but also I am *not* biased at all because this story is fantastic whether it's your birthday gift or not. And it has for sure turned into something so, so much bigger than I ever imagined it would be when I started pestering the hell out of @definedareasofuncertainty to write it.

. Here's what I thought Quiet Light would be: funny, light-hearted, rom-com-ish type of story about a lil misunderstanding that lead to awkward yet incredibly hilarious situations. . What Quiet Light actually is: an incredibly mature, deep and loaded study of relationships and self-discovery.

I'll start by saying Quiet Light is definitely not for everyone. I know that, and so does the author, which is why the story has been very well tagged and the A/N is filled with warnings. If you choose to disregard those, then it's your own problem. Do not go blaming the writer for not writing the story you wanted them to. It deals with certain subjects not everyone will be comfortable with, and that's fine. But the thing about it is that you should look past the actions and what you feel about them and really see what the story is about. I don't condone some of Caroline's actions in the story (and Lord knows how many SCREAMING comments I have left Luiza lol I'M SORRY, OK? DEFENDING ELIJAH'S RIGHTS IS MY ENTIRE BRAND), but you don't have to approve of what she does in order to still enjoy it. Quiet Light is about so much more than the hard, cold facts. It's such a mature take on relationships and how sometimes people screw up and do things they don't mean to. Nobody is ever 100% right, and nobody is ever 100% wrong. People are complicated and things aren't always pretty or neat. Not all relationships, no matter how good they might be on the surface, are perfect or truly fulfilling, and sometimes people figure that out in incredibly messy ways. What I love about Quiet Light is that you can see so clearly how Caroline chooses the path of least resistance because she had been burned before, and thinks that this is where she went wrong, by jumping head-first into the unknown with a guy she'd only spent one night with. But while things with Elijah are totally *fine*, it never really puts her heart at ease. Caroline, as in canon, is someone who tries to make herself fit a mold of expectations that aren't necessarily *hers*, but rather what she thinks it should be. But the truth is her heart longs for more. She seeks adventure and a love that will shake her whole world. When that proves to break her heart, she forces herself to settle for less. And then, when faced with the possibility of having all of that again, she ends up acting in a completely crazy way that makes her feel terrible later - but also gives her some much needed answers. Her relationships with Klaus and Elijah are perfect ways to understand Caroline's character, and the differences between the two are so, so amazing. There are some VERY powerful scenes in the story that had me going 😢😢😢 And my heart went to Elijah so, so many times. This is a story that definitely made me FEEL MANY THINGS. 😭😭 Luiza's writing is amazing, that's not news, but she really reaches some PEAKS here with the punches she packs and the emotional turbulence in some parts of the story. Her way to evoke sensations and get you right in the mood of things hits you right in the feels, and I think that's what makes it all the more powerful. I cannot recommended it enough. Beware of the tags and warnings and you'll be good! It's not finished yet, but it should be soon! And I know there are some surprises coming in the last chapter............. 👀 Thank you so much for writing and sharing with us, friend!

[verytiredblob]

My reviews on Manhwas

Alright so, recently I've began to fall into the great Manhwa hell, as if I didn't have enough fandoms.

But I neither have friends to chat about this with, nor a Discord chat where I can fanby about it, so I just decided to throw it in here.

These are both Manhwas I recommend and my opinions on them. If there are any spoilers, They will be striked through and in blue for anyone that wishes to avoid them (if anyone even reads this lol).

1. The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass (악녀는 모래시계를 되돌린다)

Premise: Aria was a terrible person and was sentenced to dead by being beheaded. In her final moments, she discovers her step sister, Mielle, actually manipulated her during her entire life just so she could get Aria killed. She then is beheaded, and wakes up in the past, in her child body. So now, she must work to both survive and get her revenge on her sister.

Lovely story, and my first Manhwa. The art is simply stunning, and all the characters are very flashed out and developed. Aria (MC) is the pettiest person alive and I'm here for that.

Also, I noticed a trend where, even though the manhwa has "Villainess" in the title, the MC is usually a total angel. Well, not here. Aria is egotistical and a total Diva, she has her goals and one of them is her revenge and by all that is sacred she'll get it.

Mielle is a great villain, she has grown a lot in her own pettiness and tactics since she was a child, and I really like that. Also, watching her suffer for being a terrible person is delightful.

The Male Lead (Asher) is also really cool, I like how he's both witty and friendly, and how much he truly admires Aria and her achievements.

The side characters are also pretty good, and they get a lot of focus because of their interactions with the main cast.

Again, The art is S T U N N I N G. Look at this:

Literally all panels are drawn like this or better, I'm in love.

All in all, an awesome read, 10/10, I love this a lot.

2. The Monster Duchess And Contract Princess (괴물 공작가의 계약 공녀)

Premise: Leslie's life was terrible, and always centered on her big sister, Eli. After a failed attempt of her family to grant Eli her sister's skills and knowledge, Leslie searches for the feared "Monster Duchess" in an attempt to survive.

Another one with incredible art AND incredible characters. Leslie is an absolute angel, and seeing her grow as a person is awesome.

The gender envy I feel with the Duchess is unbearable, she's utterly perfect. And the entire family is so dotting and loving and sweet, my little grinch heart can't take it.

She's perfection, really.

The plot keeps getting more and more mysterious, and I'm here for it!

I love each of the main characters a lot, and even the villains are well done and fuel your hatred.

Also, Eli Sperado and her Dad can choke on those black flames for all eternity.

Another 10/10, although I must warn anyone that wishes to read this that the translations sometimes are very spotty and messy, so it can be a bit annoying.

3. I'll be the Matriarch in this Life (이번 생은 가주가 되겠습니)

Premise: Firentia was a girl that died in Korea in her past life, and was reborn into an influential family as the illegitimate daughter of the third son. Her life was pretty terrible, with in the end, her family ending up in poverty and disgrace because of her uncles and cousins, while she was exiled from the family. After another accident, she wakes up in her past, now with a goal: Become the Lombardi matriarch and stop the other family heirs from bringing it to ruin.

Awesome art and Awesome plot number 3! This is so good, genuinely. Firentia is such an awesome plotter, and her goals and actions are very well developed.

The Male Lead is my baby and I shall protect him, and the side characters? Utterly stunning.

The twins are the cutest fucking shit, seriously. Like, look at these two?? I'm dead. Although, all the children are very, veeery cute.

I like how Firentia subtly manipulates things around her to get what she wants. It's similar to Aria, but she's much more mature and knowledgeable, and has a much less petty goal.

Guess what? 10/10. Yeah, I know, I'm terrible at grading, sue me.

4. The Twins Siblings' New Life (쌍둥이 남매의 뉴라이프)

Premise: Arien and Arjen were a pair of twins that died in Korea, and were reborn again as twins and as the Emperor's illegitimate children. Now, with only each other to trust, they must do their best to survive.

My current obsession. I really like this one. The art is not on the same level of pure Awesome like the ones before, but it's pretty good nonetheless.

The plot is pretty nice, but I must warn you: DO NOT expect them to act like adults. Honestly, just forget they're meant to be reborn in this world. They're just normal children and that's it. They act like children, and they think like children. Honestly, I think the author just wanted to make this story about them as children and their producer went and said to make them reincarnates because that Isekai shit is popular nowadays (And to justify they having memories of their newborn days). Seriously, just ignore it, the experience reading will be much better.

Other than that, the story develops nicely. The characters are all very good and the plot is very mysterious. I am holding myself back to not spoil anything, aaaaa.

There is also only one another thing that disappoints me: Arien is very clearly the MC. The story is told by her eyes and we only know what Arjen thinks or feels when he says it 9 or by subtext). I really wish it was more balanced, because they're both different people and have different perspectives, and also I really like Arjen.

I have absolutely no idea where this plot is gonna go, and honestly? I like it. It's very rare when I don't know how things are gonna develop because of other stories, so it feels very fresh.

The brothers are freaking awesome. I was so scared they were going to hate the twins and be petty, because of other manhwas that are like that, but they're so loving and sweet?? All hail these idiots. Also, Daddy is the biggest dumbass of all, this poor clueless man.

An 8/10, because of the complaints above. Still a good read, and I really like it, even with it's defects.

4. I'm A Stepmother, But My Daughter Is Just Too Cute! (계모인데 딸이 너무 귀여워)

Premise: A seamstress dies of overwork in Korea, and wakes up in the body of Abigail, the vain Queen, and the evil stepmother to the princess Blanche. Yes, It's like she stepped into the world of Snow White, and she must now do her best to live and.. Dote on Blanche with toys and dresses as much as possible?

Again with the awesome art and nice plot. Why are there so many manga with awesome art?? I'm so envious.

May all hail this crispy, delicious art.

Abigail is a whole mood, and I enjoy how she is inserted into the life of someone who had already lived and had a reputation. Her actions baffle a lot of the characters, as do her motivations, and I'm here for it.

The King has also an amazing backstory that's very tragic and yikes. I enjoy it, really. Not something you see in men's backstories that much.

Also, I'm kinda saddened by the fact the MC and the king are bound to become an actual couple. They would be such good platonic friends stuck in a political marriage. I was robbed, y'all.

Abigail greatest ambition is to get to design a dress for Blanche and have her wear it, and you know what? Good for her! Sometimes, it's good to have an MC that is not plotting against world at large.

Also, her mirror? Verite is simply perfect, I love this guy. I non-jokingly ship him with Abigail more than her with the King.

Blanche is a sweetheart, she deserves to be in my "adopted children" wall.

For now it's more of a Slice of Life than anything? But I also don't know what happens in the novels, so I'm just going to wait.

For the current lack of a grater plot, this gets a 7/10. Still pretty good and entertaining, especially for when you just don't feel like trying to understand deep plots with lots of elements.

5. Beware of the Brothers! (그 오빠들을 조심해!)

Premise: Another one of those "I lived my life and then wake up in the past." Hari was adopted by this family after the death of their only daughter, and although her parents love her, her 3 older siblings very much don't. She lives a miserable life in their hands, and when it's the night before she is to get married and finally escape her brothers, she wakes up in the past, and has to deal with them all over again.

Another nice art one, and the background characters are very nice, as is the MC.

But for me, it has a big problem. And that problem is the main ship. It's Hari with her eldest brother, Eugene. Even though they are not related and yadda yadda yadda, they were raised as such, and thus it bothers me. Also, Eugene is as plain as white bread and just as generic when seen as the Male Lead.

I ship Hari with Johan, even though I know it's not gonna happen, Ugh, the pain..

For me, the main point in this is Hari's relationship with her other siblings and the other background characters. I'm here for that wholesome sibling interaction. Her relationship with Erich, specially, is awesome. I love these two so much

It also kinda lacks a plot? Other than the relationship development and their story as a family, but again, I have no idea how they will develop this.

Also, pet peeve? Why do they keep using Oppa instead of translating it properly as brother? I get honorifics and stuff, but it's so annoying.

I give it a 6/10. Good characters and good relationships outside of the bloody incest thing, and it's a good enough way to pass the time.

There are two more that I've read, buut it's like 4am and I'm sleepy as all hell, so I'll just add it in a reblog or attached post later, and I plan on doing this for other future manhwas as well.

Do you have any recommendations or comments or just wanna talk about any of these manhwas? Hit me up!

[theclearblue]

Can I ask your top 5 favorite moments each from Dungeon Meshi and Blue Lock? And your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from each series? Thanks 🌷

For Dungeon Meshi I am just currently watching the anime (which I do love very very much) but idk if there's enough content yet to elaborate on top five moments :( If I had to choose a favorite character, it would be Marcille (second place to Laios) and my favorite moments so far have been the fight against the living armor, Laios mimicking a siren song (lmao), and of course Falin's resurrection! I can elaborate a little bit more on Blue Lock though (under the cut)!

Favorite Characters (no order really)

Honorable mentions: Oliver Aiku, Nagi Seishiro, Hyoma Chigiri, Rensuke Kunigami, Michael Kaiser (he's probably the most likely to move into the top 5 in the future tbh)

Yoichi Isagi

Big thing for me in every series is to make sure that the main character is someone I want to follow, and Isagi is one of the strongest characters in Blue Lock. I think it's fun to see his two sides where he's so sweet and genuinely kind to the people around him, but he also doesn't let people walk all over him, especially when it does come to soccer. Barou, Kaiser, Rin, even with the very first conflict with the kid that he entered Blue Lock with (forgot his name, the guy that gets eliminated first lol), people consistently underestimate him, and that usually follows with him crushing them lmao. Both of those sides are real and genuine, and I like how they don't really conflict with each other too, there is a time and place for kindness, but also a time for him to achieve his own goals and feed his own ego. Never disappointed with any screen time he gets.

2. Meguru Bachira

Probably the character that stood out to me first, and one that I'm really happy with how he's developed, I'm obsessed with insane energy. In a sea of really angsty and serious characters (which, I'll talk about some of those later too lol) Bachira just comes off as such a breath of fresh air in every panel with his demeanor and friendliness, and it's genuinely fun every time to see him play, whether as a friend or enemy (love when characters have unique dribbling). And I think the reason 2nd selection remains such a consistently strong arc is in large part thanks to Bachira and his character arc there, where he's grappling with actually playing with people and not just "the monster" and in turn, also dealing with the loneliness he experienced growing up. Another thing being that even after his big character arc, he's still being developed after in the Neo Egoist League (Rip Chigiri you deserved the same treatment) where he's learning to incorporate the monster back in, and the new dribbling he's developed. He's just such a fun character to watch.

3. Rin Itoshi

Yeah it was so over for me when they introduced the tragic siblings, especially when Rin is the younger brother. I wasn't super into him when he was introduced, I'm not usually a big fan of really stoic characters, but he won me over big time in the U-20 match. To see how much he looked up to Sae and was so excited to see him come back home just for Sae to try and crush his dreams, ohhhh that got me good, I felt so bad for him and everything made sense with his character. And then him going absolutely feral in the U-20 match, playing at his very best, just to get hit with this?

This is...maybe still the saddest moment for me in the whole manga, my jaw dropped when I read this. I haven't seen much of him since this match, but I'm excited to see him show up in the Neo Egoist League eventually, I think his rematch against Isagi will really really interesting!

4. Reo Mikage

If you asked me a few weeks ago, Nagi probably would have been in this spot instead, but I think Reo inched him out of that spot in the Manshine City match for me. He's an incredibly messy and flawed character throughout the series, but undoubtedly the most human out of everyone. On the surface level, I like the development of the chameleon play style he has, everyone is such a specialist but I really like the jack of all trades master of none style he has, and think it fits his character perfectly. His character development has been a little bit more in the background, but I really like how he has developed his relationship and his complicated feelings towards Nagi. He is kind of an asshole in the beginning and so codependent with Nagi, that he lashes out at everyone, but a big part of him wanting to play football is to play it with Nagi! He needed to grow separate from Nagi, and when they finally were in a place to work together again in the Manshine City match, it was REALLY satisfying. It feels earned and Reo working through both his bitter feelings but also his want to play with his boyfriend. I like how human of a character he is (especially in comparison to most of these characters lmao) and he's always an interesting player to watch.

5. Yukimiya Kenyu

Yeah you knew this one was coming if you've seen my blog in the last week lmao. The thing is out of the new characters introduced in third selection, he intrigued me the most. Declaring he's a pacifist while having one of the most aggressive play styles lmao. But then he kind of fades into the background, the only one in the top five not to score a goal...until the match against Manshine City. His backstory just added so much depth to his character and all the moments we saw before, his introduction, his polite nature, him being upset at Isagi after the last match, him praying to God, it all just clicks and it's really tragic to me how he has this timer on his dream. And then him getting that goal, despite how irrational it seemed, despite him getting into a fight with Isagi about his assist in the last game...God it's maybe my favorite goal in the series so far (well, tied with Isagi's goal at the end of the U-20 match actually). Maybe a little recency bias with him but I'm utterly obsessed with this guy, I think he's got so many layers that you can just pick at for forever.

I kind of talked about a lot of my favorite moments throughout this lmao, so I'll show you some of my favorite panels so far!

[ratsoh-writes]

This is my first ever matchup so I'm really excited for it! Thank you so much for this and all of your amazing content. ❤

I'm a fairly stereotypical INFP -- someone who at first seems pretty aloof or visibly uncomfortable being around someone new. Once I'm comfortable enough with them I turn into a loyal friend who will happily lend an ear and my support/advice whenever possible. I'm very inquisitive when it comes to those types of things and getting to know my loved ones better. I'll regularly remind people that I care about them and check in on how they're feeling before going off and doing my own thing. I'm extremely introverted and shy but I usually take a leader position in groups if there isn't one already.

Not sure if it's a pro or con but I tend to see the best in the people I like and that's especially true with crushes and partners. I'm a hopeless romantic so having a healthy relationship is really important to me. I need a fair amount of one on one time, even if we're just doing our own thing in the same room. I'm also a cuddle sl*t so I will be very physically affectionate with my partner whenever and wherever unless they request otherwise.

One of my major flaws is how incredibly lazy I can be. I could very easily laze around in bed all day watching anime or YouTube and be totally content with that. I'm Really bad at dealing with confrontation, especially if the other person is being aggressive in any way. I have a habit of maladaptive daydreaming so I space out a lot and my depression and abandonment issues mess with me pretty bad sometimes. I've been doing really good at getting those all handled but some days can be a real struggle for me.

Besides cheating, the biggest dealbreaker for me is gaslighting. I've already dealt with enough of that for one lifetime. People who are overly entitled and inconsiderate of others, especially service workers, are forever going to get the side eye from me. Other than those, I don't think I'll ever want to have a kid of my own so I wouldn't date someone who did.

My pet peeves are when people "tink its ok 2 spel n tipe words like dis." Also spitting on the ground and chewing food with your mouth open.

As I said before, I like watching anime and YouTube. Usually it's some kind of dark/creepy content, let's plays, chaotic let's builds or food stuff. Also listen to a lot of indie rock and tend to drink a worrying amount of coffee. Oh, I play D&D, online games and board games with my friends. By myself, I'll play point and click puzzle games. When I decide I want to actually go outside for once I'll go on a hike or go to thrift shops and see if I can snag some sweet threads. 

Physically, I'm a 5'4" thicc lady with big bazoongas. I wear mostly skinny jeans with either tank tops or tshirts and flannel or leather jackets when it's cold enough. Black, grey, white and muted red, blue and green are my go to colors. I have 11 silver mostly ear piercings, stretched lobes and a few tattoos. I always wear glasses and have my hair in a messy low bun.

That's it! Thank you again and have a wonderful day!!

Dang. The no kids totally knocked honey out of the competition 😭😭😭

Alrighty, after a lot of back and fourth, I was stuck between three guys. Once again I had the little sister pick a random name.

Looks like you’re getting matched with…… CASH (swapfell papyrus)!

Honestly one of the biggest reasons I think he’ll make a good match is how you said you put in effort into getting to know your SO. And how you’re very verbally affectionate. Cash needs these in a relationship. He’s an affectionate boyfriend but isn’t good at voicing his worries about how he thinks he’s not doing enough sometimes. This would be a big comfort that you’re honest about how you feel.

One way I can see cash appealing to you is that he’s good at sticking up for the “little guy” or just workers in general. Cash and mal come from a very poor background. He knows exactly how hard it is to make ends meet, or how to deal with nasty customers. Now that he can, cash always tips well and loves scaring the occasional Karen.

I’m sorry to say, but if you’re going to constantly cuddle him, he’s gonna take advantage of it all the time. Hands up your shirt every time. Half the time he’s not even being a horn dog, he just likes how squishy humans are lol

Thrift shopping with him is always an adventure. Cash loves shopping when it’s not with his brother and spends more time finding the ugliest outfits possible and trying to get you to wear them. It always ends up in you two putting on a fashion show that would give a designer a heart attack

He’s one of the gamer guys so he’s always cool to play with you. He likes fighting games and puzzle games the most!

The other two you could’ve gotten were slim and charm

[julies-butterflies]

Honestly, your writing reminds me a lot of the buffyverse. Just the perfect balance of humor and sadness and romance and heart that just feels like a vivid window into the world you've created.

God the Body...the best forty minutes of television I may never watch again. I've rewatched Willow and Tara's kiss (because I'll adore them forever), but just...the weight of it. It took me a full month to work up the nerve to watch the episode, to be ready to cry that much.

What you said about not wanting people to suffer, because of your work...It's never once felt like that for me. And I've cried a LOT while reading your work. I'll try to explain it the best I can

Grief can be so isolating, and disorienting. Your world goes topsey-turvey, supports you took for granted go flying into the abyss and suddenly it's a minefield of those glass shards. And no one's grief is identical. No two circumstances are the same. It's not possible for anyone else to know exactly how you feel, because no two hearts break alike.

Sometimes, it's because people just don't understand. Sometime's it's because they no longer want to. But some days, that feeling of aloneness can be crushing.

Then one night, I stumbled upon Let These Shadows Fall Away Like Dust. That one hit me way harder than I was ever expecting. The question of how to grieve the living, the dilemma on when forgiveness is deserved...Alex's anger, his devestation, the rawness of it all....That's my broken glass. Those are concepts I've been struggling for over a year. I'm still picking up pieces every day.

I sobbed, because it was such a relief. To see the feelings that had been scrambled up in my mind just reflected there, on my screen. The reminder I had desperately needed, that I was not alone. That even though my circumstances were different, I was not the only one trying to unravel those messy emotions.

Then again, I also read your deathfic for fun, so maybe I'm not the best judge of this. I tend to like angst. I tend to get a lot of "WHY WOULD YOU MAKE IT THAT SAD" in group chats :D

Please don't feel any pressure to respond to me quickly or anything. I never mind the wait. I'm so sorry for the rough times. Wishing that you and your family gets whatever you need to help ease your storm. Sending love and support as well.

(sorry for all the metaphors. I'm super sleepy and apparently, I resort to purple prose when tired lol)

I know exactly what you mean about Emily. I understand why people don't like her, but I just love to see her written as such a grey character. It's just so much more powerful when the love is so clearly there.

I mean, that's what a tragedy is, really. Love cut short. Grieving a future that could have been everything, if fate had not been cruel. I don't know if you know musical theater, but I like to think about the Barber and His Wife, from Sweeney Todd: the whole tragedy of that show, is that they were happy all together, and then permanently broken. How their paths keep crossing, but they never connect to heal. Never lost, but never found.

And that's the tragedy of Luke and Emily: too stubborn and too late. You find that grey area, the messiness so well, and just bring it all out so wonderfully. You do the same with Bobby/Trevor, ESPECIALLY in the horror and the wild. God, that absolutely devestated me. I'm not a big fan of horror in general, and I haven't explored the genre that much but...if all horror is like yours then DAMN, I might just have to become a fan.

This got super long (lol) so I'll wrap it up now but! THE SIC FIC QUEENS TOGETHER???? When I tell you I lost it.... all too well Bobby and what you've lost reggie in the same story are killing me. I am hooked and incredibly hyped. Loved both updates so far, and cannot wait to see where the story goes!

Oh yeah and I forget: I have to ask, do you have a fan cast of the one, the only, the incredible Keith Richards? (and that goblin is so cute!!! I really want to pet the blood thirsty monster. So badly)

Love, your totally-not-undead-pen-pal, :D

-Vampire Anon

Know musicals? Vampire Anon my beloved, I am a musical theatre bitch. Take a look at my high school graduation cap! (Anastasia is my favorite musical... something about the themes of home, love, and family, the idea of always finding a place in the world even after enduring incredible hardship, that anything is survivable with faith and love in your heart... I'm also a Romanov history bitch, and Christy Altomare is such an incredible talent and human being.) Literally, talk to me about musicals anytime!

And yeah, I definitely see your metaphor... the tragedy of The Barber and his Wife was how close they came to each other throughout the whole show, existing within reach the entire time, after being separated for so long. But it wasn't the same; it never could be. Time and trauma had changed them both into something unrecognizeable, and when they came face-to-face, they could only hurt each other. At a certain point, the ghosts of your past are meant to stay ghosts. Sure, you might want them back more than anything --- but what would it mean? What would you truly be getting back?

Luke's "back", of course, and he comes home to visit his parents multiple times... but they're not the same people he left. They're older, greyer, changed by grief... while he's just the same. A snapshot forever frozen in time, a memory crystalized in amber. You can't hold memories in your hands. You can't pull them close and refuse to let them go. Eventually, they'll slip away... and to Mitch and Emily, a memory is all their son is, now. That's what's so heartrending about the situation we see in the show, especially --- so much love still exists between all of them, but it has no place to go.

Okay, sorry, it's 3am here and I'm rambling too, haha --- mentioning musical theatre was a mistake.

I'm so glad my stories have been able to connect with you, especially 'shadows' --- that one resonated with a lot of people, more than I ever realized it would. It's not the most personal story to me... but definitely one that needed to be told, and the emotion in it... hits home for a lot of people. It means so much to me knowing that story, and Alex's internal struggle, has made people feel less alone.

I think I'm going to have a hard time looking back on that one, though. We were staying at my aunt's house for the weekend where I wrote most of it; I read a few excerpts to her, and she said she liked it. She was always interested in my writing... I kind of wish I'd gotten the chance to share more of it with her.

Like you said. Grief's a funny thing. Disorienting, relentless, and crushing.

Please just remember, though --- whatever you're dealing with, you're not alone. You don't have to cut yourself on those broken pieces... one day, you'll wake up, and realize you feel whole again. It will never feel the same, and the pain will always be there... but healing around it is what makes us stronger. You don't owe anyone your forgiveness; it's okay to grieve when you've lost something, regardless of whether death has taken them from you. Grief doesn't have to be earned, it simply has to be felt.

You'll be stronger for it, in the end. I'm sorry you've been hurting so much.

Anyways! Oh gosh! On to lighter, happier topics! Please tell me...

What are your favorite fics? (Like, my fics, obviously, which fics of mine do you just go gaga over? Please praise me or else my ego will shrivel like a worm on hot pavement.) No, okay, I'm kidding --- what are your top fics for this fandom? Like, what are the ones that really resonate with you, that you could read over and over? The JATP fandom has so many greats, but I'm always drawn back to Some Killer Queen You Are by pearlcaddy (buffyverse meets jatp!! iconic!!), Lantern's Light by thefairhero (literally the SOFTEST reggie), the sky's not empty tonight by firefall (just... devastating and beautiful in a dozen ways), and literally anything by foundfamilyvevo.

How long have you been in the JATP fandom? Who are your favorite characters? What's your favorite JATP song?

And finally, most importantly... what are your favorite musicals?

(also... since u asked... behold keith richards and tremble)

[serendipitybutterfly]

So... Here we go! Finally I'm posting the hyung line future marriages reading (that's why I said on Valentines or shortly after... 😌). I have done all the readings but I needed to type them up and only got to start late tonight... Because of that I decided, rather than keep you in too much suspense, I'd post Seokjin's and Yoongi's readings today and post Hobi's and Namjoon's tomorrow... After that I'll get a chance to look at the lovely asks I've been getting and start answering them! Thanks so much for all the love! 💜

So... Without further ado...

Kim Seokjin:

Personality: There's a duality to this woman that I find really interesting... On one hand, I feel like we're dealing with a very serious, very mature, very powerful, business woman here. There's something about her that's very rational and practical... Sensible. She could even be viewed as cold or unemotional by some. She's intelligent, creative and dynamic and knows how to negotiate like a boss. On the other hand, there's also this overall impression of youth and vulnerability... Fragility, softness, innocence... Which makes me think a lot of that hard shell is just armor protecting someone who's actually pretty sensitive on the inside. I think this is a very wealthy young woman... Possibly an heiress... But one who has managed to gain some kind of financial independence and / or power. There might've been some events in her past, probably childhood, which made her toughen up or try to hide her soft side publically to protect herself from getting hurt... But this is someone very sweet and kind. Probably very involved in charity. As I was shuffling I also noticed cards flipping over that indicated strong spiritual and / or religious beliefs (as in perhaps she goes to church or temple... Whatever her religion is). There's also an impression of... Nobility... Elegance... Classiness and taste born of a good education and training in social graces. Even though she might consider herself shy and introverted she can cover it well. Incredibly polite and gracious even when unhappy with something... She's good at controlling her emotions. She also might not seem passionate or romantic on the outside but she feels it on the inside. Possibly a bit younger than Seokjin and more inexperienced in relationships... Also veryyyy likely to be Korean I feel.

Relationship: With the star here representing the overall energy of their marriage... You could say this is something written in the stars and wished for. It might take some patience but this wished for relationship is definitely lined up for Seokjin so he should stay optimistic and open to it. From the outside looking in... I feel like some might consider this marriage boring. Because it's so peaceful... Harmonious... Domestic. But it's what these two wanted. This is a marriage between the queen of pentacles and the king of wands. Both are powerful, creative and abundant. I feel like these two don't need to worry about anything from a material standpoint... Like I said, I think this woman might actually come from a wealthy family with a lot of influence, but she doesn't need to ask for any help or handouts from them. These two take pride in making their own money. And they're good at it. Again... From the outside looking in, they might not seem the most affectionate or demonstrative couple.... But behind closed doors I do feel like they are much more passionate than people would think (they're just super private and conservative). They also probably plan romantic special 'events' for eachother's birthdays and other occasions. Wholesome.

Min Yoongi (... Yoongi almost always makes me shuffle for ages I swear!) :

Personality: There's also an interesting duality to this woman. I feel very strongly that this is someone with her own kind of following or fans... I think she's probably very attractive and influencial in society and /or social media. This is someone ambitious to make a change in the world. Her opinions, specifically her voicing her opinions boldly, might sometimes get her in trouble with certain people in society. There's a strong whiff of SJW here. When they meet, she might be wealthy and well known but this is someone who worked hard and transformed their life from lead to gold. Similar to Yoongi himself. This is someone who seeks knowledge and understanding... Especially concerning social issues and spirituality. They want to make a change and be of service to the world. The word 'serve' stands out in a few of these cards... There is even a card called 'servant'... Which is an interesting contrast to all the strong woman stuff. This person really adores Yoongi and wants to help him and be there for him in any way she can. Attractive and Asian are the two main visuals coming through... Feminine (maybe in terms of her figure being a bit curvy or voluptuous), but probably in an edgy or unusual way in terms of style.

Relationship: Mostly very chill, peaceful energy... The Cup of love is overflowing with its soothing waters. There's a strong vibe of quiet comfort in just the presence of the other person. They're fully aware of how lucky they are to have eachother and feel a lot of security in knowing that there's someone always there for them... Someone completely trustworthy and honest and constant. They feel like they have everything they ever wanted. There's abundance both materially and emotionally. I definitely feel like the wife rules here and usually has her way... Lol. Hmm... Yoongi doesn't like to argue so he probably just throws up his hands and goes along with her plans? Something like that... They might have little tiffs over things but it always ends well. This relationship is very... Real... Very grounding when other aspects of life get messy or crazy or seem too much... They are eachother's rocks.

Hope you enjoyed! Last two are coming soon! 💜💜💜

[worldofsurvivortibet-blog]

EPISODE 1 (Part 1) - “I'll be sharpening my knife just in case” - Eddie

JULIA RAE

im gay

TRYSTEN

The Cheshire Cat is back again

ELENA

Ok it is only like 15 minutes into the game so I don't have anything to say but I love you Jay! So I am making a confessional <3

EDDIE

Im y'all putting me on a tribe with Jaiden who I have not talked to for months and who is in general probably the messiest org player you will find on the planet. I'm in vermont right now in at an inn with shitty service so I'm definitely ready to be booted out of this thing pretty quickly. But I'll be sharpening my knife just in case I can somehow make it a swap.

DARIAN

This season I'm going to write actually decent confessionals. At least I hope! This tribe is pretty lit and the people are so nice!  I obviously haven't had a lot of time  to get to know everyone but I cant wait! I really think this is going to be a great season!

JAIDEN

I'm actually pretty content with the tribe I got placed on, because I only know Eddie. I could probably use that to my advantage but I don't know if he likes me so... good luck to me. I like playing in games where I know very few people but I am definitely a little worried about Keyonjay being on the other tribe because he will probably go out before I ever swap onto the same tribe as him, and that lowkey sucks. I'm also SUPER concerned about Ting Ting because I hear she's a huge threat and she and Seamus are like, dating IRL or something so hmm. Gonna keep that on my radar.

DANI

Five minutes in and I already hate my tribe, there isn't really anyone I can put my trust in, we better not lose the first immunity challenge, I'm not leaving first again...

CHRISSA

um I hope i am okay in this game idk these people too well and I just hope i can stay a while I fucking hate not knowing the cast before but whatever can i just say I love Jay and that is all.

CARSON

Our tribe is really talkative... which is horrible for me bc im not asdfghjkl. Oh well we have a lot of comp beasts on out tribe so we should be good.

ACE

I've never done this in a game before but let me do a little cast assessment. First let's start with my tribe, Namtso! Jared and I have a lil history in games where I always always always get him out somehow someway. Who knows if he'll trust me! I LOVE KENDALL, nuff said. I have no idea who all the others are but I hope I can make friends with them and have them not vote me off n stuff. In Kailash, I already have Carson added but idk them that well. I love Chrissa and I hope we both make merge or swap on a tribe together and be besties. Dani can go! I love Elena I hope we can acc work together earlier this time than I did in Pompeii. I'm not sure about Seb, he literally just evicted me as hoh in another game rofl. Everyone else idk but I hate that I know more ppl on this tribe than my own tribe. I guess I gotta get talking huh? The last tribe with the unreadable buff has Matt and Trysten. Matt's my fellow furry and Trysten is also semi-furry so I hope they can survive. As for Jaiden, FUCK him I hope he gets out before I even have to deal with his ass. And again idk everyone else.

JAIDEN

Two confessionals in one night? Not surprising. I was really excited to have a non-messy tribe but for some reason, I'm put with two fellow normal people and four confirmed freaks. I don't even know who Johnny is yet but he's literally looped in with those weirdos until further notice. Let's do a quick cast assessment of my tribe, which I forgot its name already because ? flops only. EDDIE - Y'all really did this to me, huh? Eddie hasn't spoken to me since BEFORE October because that's the furthest our chat history even goes. It's me sending messages and him not responding and it's literally the most disappointing thing ever because now I have to work with him in order to exterminate the furries and dildo freaks of this tribe. He's a nice guy and I will only allow him to stick around premerge because he is also a huge threat and a bigger backstabber than I am. JAIDEN - flop JOHNNY - He is not here yet but I think he'll be cool to talk to later on I guess, because we're the same age but he seems more "put together" and like he has legitimate goals in his life. But he's also a college student so I don't expect him to be around much, so I just want to work with him until there is no more need for him if he truly is an inactive person. JULIA - Honestly? She's fucking annoying already lmao SORRY IF UR READING THIS but she talks about dildos and getting fucked in the ass by furries and it's just like... calm down. It's day one and she's already said about 500 things and it's 500 things too much. Definitely bottom of the tribe so far lmao. MATT - He IS loud and cocky and I think he's going to try really really hard to be the Tyson-esque villain this season, so he's also my least favorite because he is not going to be genuine or good at this game. He could go. TING TING -  She's sweet so far but she's really hard to talk to because her answers are so short and they can end a conversation in a second. I feel like she's the only person I like at the moment and that sucks so much because damn, she's not easy to talk to. I'm hoping that we have to go to tribal council first though and pump some of those strategic juices into the tribe because I feel like she'll open right up if that's the case. TRYSTEN - Okay I immediately want him to be first boot because he's the most annoying but in subtle ways. He's like "SOMEONE ALREADY THINKS IM AN ALT" and like well, maybe because you're so adamant that you aren't??? Like shut up. And he's saying that Dani is his sister or something in his cast intro and literally no one cares, but you're just a freak thats putting a huge target on their back for no reason. Anyways...enjoy being the only person to get 21st place in this series :o FLOP! So yeah, there's my cast assessment for this tribe. Hopefully I can fall into an alliance and not get first boot from this horrific tribe, but it could probably be worse on the other side. Wish me luck, and tell the VL to suck my left nut! xoxo

KEYONJAY

I really like my tribe a lot. I have a really good feeling about Nicholas, that he could be a strong ally down the road. Kendall is hilarious, I'm vibing with her pretty well. I've had a short conversation with Amanda. Ace is a fucking amazing artist, and newlyf is cool even though I don't even know their real first name and they haven't messaged me back lol. I like everybody so far and I'm making a conscious effort to get to know everybody unlike in my other games where I would wait for people to come to me. Maybe it's the power of the meesh avatar, but I really hope my social game is better this time around. Y'all wrong for making this the first challenge tho @hosts.

MATT

So I just wanna make a SHORT rant on how I feel about my tribemates. Eddie: Eddie my fellow Gorlley. You're cool and I hope we do get to work together moving forward here. Jaiden: Bruh, you're funny and you also seem cool af. Let's pray my opinion on you doesn't change Johnny: Why u no active? Julia: I really feel like you might become one of my best friends here. You're really cool to talk to Matt: You sexy monster you. *winks* Ting Ting: Just like Julia, you really might become one of my best friends here. Trysten: Stop lying about being an angel, I can see right into your soul.

KEYONJAY

So I really wasn't gonna do the day one alliance thing, but Kendall proposed we go into an alliance and ofc I'm gonna say yes. haha. I do actually like her a lot so that's good. She pulled in Ace, and I wanted to pull in Nicholas because I feel like me and him gel pretty well. Hopefully people see Kendall as the figurehead because my whole strategy was to fly UTR but things change like that in this game. Basically, I just wanna make friends with everybody so I'm not the target regardless, do well in the challenges, and not overthink things like I usually do.

ACE

I'm talking to Ally in PC and I swear I'm getting Mega vibes from her. I swear if Ally is Mega....

KENDALL

Hello. It's me. I've been wondering after all these years, if you'd like to me. To go over everything.... Yeah that's all I know, I mean sure I could look up the lyrics on Google but I am far too lazy. No wait I also know HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE It has been ten billion years since my last confessional/game, which may seem mathematically impossible because I've only played survivor for one year but shut up because this is my confessional... bitch. Any who, I am back with two percent more evil and one percent more effectiveness. No longer will I be a drifter, just sort of hanging back and waiting for anyone to pick me up and drag me along, I will be the leader!!!!!!!! Despite having about zero charisma and even less interpersonal skills. But my mommy says I am special so there. Anyway I have made an alliance with people. Ew gross I know. But it has to be done. I've made a group of people who were speficially selected because of their incompetence in some areas. Ace the Squabit:  I've played with Ace in Pompeii, we aligned for a short period of time before Drew voted him out. He is incredibly intelligent but he isn't particularly social. Creating a bond with him shouldn't be too difficult because of this fact. Keyonjay Dixon: Aside from having a bitchin' name, Keyonjay has one of the rare characteristics of getting my sense of humor. He isn't very connected to the community so I don't have to worry about any pregame alliances he may have made. In a previous game, he stated to have "played for someone else," time will tell if he will repeat this mistake. And last but not least we have, Nicholas: I don't know him very well and I don't have as much control over him as I do the others. Which frightens me... but I think we get along just fine. I've recommended Survivor seasons to him because he hasn't seen the show so maybe that will bring a bond of some sort. As for the other tribe members, Amanda seems pretty chill and Newlyf is fucking hilarious. I'd like to avoid getting them out if I can. Jared on the other hand... I don't particularly care. He is so boring and has terrible spelling, two of the worst qualities. He called me a psycho in a PM to Ace, which is mildly amusing because I don't think he knows how far it really goes. He doesn't trust Ace, he doesn't like me, he was barely on for the first half of the game. Jared serves no use to me or anyone in my cult... sorry alliance lol auto correct. Anyway I will update when I get more information but until then... HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

DANI

I really wanna trust these people, but I really cant. I literally have one ally and it's already almost day 2. Well, one ally is better than none I guess. I just really wanna win immunity. I'm not taking the risk of going to tribal council.

EDDIE

Basically Ting Ting is a queen and I'm  planning on making her my Sam of this game and I've pretty much let her know that. Although idk if she finds it sketchy that after once hour I said that but I honestly don't have as much time as a thought as I would so I need to leech myself to a strategically gifted iconic queen that will carry me through the beginning stages of the game into the merge. I honestly haven't decided if I'm going to stay loyal to Ting or not. But if I do vote her out it wouldn't be until the final 5 which is about the time that I probably should've cut Sam in bangladesh but I didn't cause I'm an emotionally human being. By that time though I'll probably have become way too close with Ting to cut her and I will probably make the same mistake I did in Bangladesh which is not taking out the clear jury threat and the person who will obviously win the game at the end. But that won't matter to me as long as I get to have fun bathing in the blood from all the other people who's demise I will cause. I'm going to busy these first rounds of the game but once things slow down and I settle into my city life I should be able to really get into it. I don't need other people knowing that though. Right now I'm just gonna play the sort of active, sort of inactive number for who ever is running the tribe (which will probably be ting which is why I decided to leech myself onto her). I believe Jaiden will try to run the tribe but he and I mean... he can think he is. But I will make sure Ting Ting knows all about his ruthless gameplay and the erratic and messy way he plays. She can do all the work rope in the numbers and I'll just be her little yes man. Whatever gets me to the swap tbh. Either way, I want to keep Jaiden on the outs while making him believe he's the leader. If I have it my he will be first boot, but if not I will coddle him and make him feel like I'm close with him right until I put the knife in his back which I'm hoping will he sooner rather than later, especially on a tribe with such small numbers. Idk how well that will work but it's worth a shot. I also have been talking to Roxy a bit and also matt. Im gonna go to them tomorrow on my drive home from vermont and be like "hey guys!!! Im a busy man!!!! Sorry couldn't talk to you last night!!!! And then talk to them all the way on the ride home and build up some type of bond or whatever.... Jaiden not being around tomorrow should make it even worse on him? Either way, I'm going to do a faceplant into Ting Tings ass. I have no shame in kissing someones ass just to get myself further in this game. That's what this is all about amiright? I'm honestly ready to be first boot, but if I'm not this should be fun.

ACE

I should be scared of the Pokemon Camp Community but I'm not really. Its true they are a force and nobody could stand against them if they are all together but I doubt half of them would make merge. Kendall and I are already planning on taking out Jared if we ever lose cuz he said he doesnt trust me and called Kendall a psycho (which is true in a good way~) Dani and Trysten might seem like a threat to others in tribe stage due to Trystan's bio I guess? I dunno. As for Seb idk why yall casted him cuz he's probably most likely 75% chance going to strike out and be removed anyway so nobody should worry about him.

DARIAN

So. It's been a day and someone has already asked to work with me. #Dani. I dont know where this is going to go i know I'm not committing myself to anything this drastic on day one. I guess it's nice to know I have one option! Dani seems really nice! So who knows

DANI

If we don't win this fucking reward challenge I will be PISSED, I busted my ass in that stupid ass unicorn game and pretended to enjoy that shit so other people would do it.

KENDALL

https://youtu.be/v5O6_rA0VFc

MATT

Honestly, I feel like I did good on this first challenge. I still trying to figure out who on my tribe would be the best for me to make an alliance with. In a sense, I am somewhat apprehensive because of Lazio and its endless tribe swaps....eh, time to snoop around.

KENDALL

OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAVE THAT STUPID SONG FROM ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK STUCK IN MY HEAD. ~ALWAYS I WANT TO BE WITH YOU MAKE BELIEVE WITH YOU AND LIVE IN HARMONY HARMONY, OH LOVE~ SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CURSE YOU JAY, SEAMUS, AND CARSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!