#this one gave me soo much grief lol I’m glad it’s done!

[dovetailjoints]

[atopearth]

Fate/stay night Réalta Nua Part 2 - Fate Route (2/2)

Day 10 - 15 I don’t think I ever realised how deep the repercussions of Shinji activating the boundary field and sucking up the life force of the people in the school exactly was. Although we got to see (in the anime) people like Mitsuzuri not acting “normal”, when Shirou couldn’t sleep because he kept thinking about the people who had their skin melted, and how the lack of oxygen could severely affect their brain functions or other physical disabilities, it made me so mad that Shinji got away. Someone like him who could do such cruel things yet cry like a baby when he’s about to die makes me so mad and annoyed. Honestly, this is probably where I think Shirou is much more “mature” than Saber, he acknowledges that this tragic event occurred, he was powerless to stop it from happening, but he doesn’t dwell on kicking himself for allowing it to happen and wanting to go back to change it if he could (since he knows that such a thing shouldn’t be done on a whim even if he could do it). Instead, Shirou very logically understands that what he can and must do from now on is to prevent such a thing from happening ever again, and I think that’s really admirable, especially considering how much his guilt must weigh on him for being weak. But I guess that only makes him push himself even when he’s injured… It’s nice to see an explanation of the different Noble Phantasms that are either built to be anti-personnel ones where it’s really strong against people but “useless” against objects or armies and the other way around. Which i guess kinda balances out the different skills of each Servant since there’s no Noble Phantasm that is really effective against everything. I’m glad that Saber forced him to rest when he started looking around for Shinji, now Saber is being the less reckless one haha.

I guess the reason Shirou becomes who he is in “that future” is mainly because of the attitude he keeps up right now. Even Saber has noticed that he puts others before himself to the point that he doesn’t care about himself and doesn’t think about “saving” himself, and that’s probably what caused his life to go downhill when he realised how he sacrificed himself and everything for an ideal that gave him nothing in the end, whether it be satisfaction, happiness or any change in the world itself. He lives to become a protector of justice and yet neglects the importance of “Shirou’s” thoughts and feelings as a person instead of just the Shirou who was the only survivor in the last war, so he should do something with this life he was luckily blessed with by Kiritsugu. Wow, Rider on a Pegasus looked really beautiful, but at the same time eerie, considering she definitely lured Saber to the rooftop because she has a plan to defeat her. I definitely enjoy how Rider is living up to her name as Rider lol, to think she could summon a Pegasus from the times of the Gods and it’s actually powerful enough that its divine protection is even above Saber’s. I guess it was expected that Saber would have to use her Noble Phantasm Excalibur to defeat Rider (who took advantage of fighting in the air against Saber who is accustomed to fights on the ground). It’s just saddening that using it once depleted her mana so much that she might not be able to survive the next fight… It was nice to see Arturia/Saber’s past, I feel like she’s similar to Shirou in the sense that she never lived for herself either, when she was born, although she was tossed to an old knight due to her gender, she always trained properly as a knight knowing what her role in life was. She was born to be king and it was further proven when she was able to pull Caliburn(?) out of the ground. She knew her life could never be normal and accepted that, she knew she had to kill everyone to protect everyone around her, she took those responsibilities to heart so much, she always stood in the front lines to protect the people she felt she was destined to protect because she was the king, and nothing else.

It’s actually pretty cute how Saber has become more conscious of herself as a girl because of Shirou now, it’s nice to see her feel and be something other than a knight. But yeah, I always feel so sad about Archer being left behind to fend off Berserker so they can escape Illya’s castle, soo not worth it for Shirou and Saber🥺 But yeah, he did it to protect Rin so it can’t be helped, especially since there really was no other choice. The whole transplant with the Magic Circuit with the dragon inside of Saber etc was interesting… But what’s more interesting is how embarrassed Saber is towards Shirou now lol. It’s just such a contrast from how she acted before that it’s so amusing lol. It’s pretty amazing to hear that Archer dealt 6 fatal blows to Berserker before disappearing, if there’s only 6 “blows” left, that means Archer himself took Berserker to half health! Kinda crazy especially since Berserker gets enhanced strength and stuff for being berserk (has no rationality etc, even though he regained it for a second from the battle with Archer because of how interesting and worthy of a battle it was) and even Saber can’t match his strength. I love Archer😭

Although it’s super cool that Shirou could reproduce an imitation of Caliburn (the sword Saber pulled out from the ground), it’s still crazy to think that the attack they both used together could actually destroy Berserker’s body seven-fold with a single blow. Ooh I never realised that Masters could actually have more than one Servant, it’s just unfeasible due to having to split up magical power. Although I’ll never like Illya (look at all those deaths in the bad ends!), she is cute and honest, and I do love how she won’t have any other Servant except Berserker. Lmao when she said she’ll take Saber if Shirou loses since she doesn’t intend on allowing anyone except him to win the war, so she’ll win it in his stead if that happens lol. It was so cute when Saber used a napkin to wipe Illya’s cheek when it got dirty as she was eating. But I think when Saber said she did it because she didn’t want Illya’s beautiful hair to get dirty made me think that maybe Saber is so partial to it because of Irisviel (Illya’s mother).

I’m really glad the novel actually expands on Saber’s past, her thoughts and feelings much more, I always thought she was a shallow character in the anime, so it’s great to see this. “Nobody wanted her to be human, but they revolted against her because she didn’t have a human’s feelings”. I find this quote so saddening… Saber worked hard to be nothing but a “king” for the knights and the people around her because they all found it difficult to acknowledge her as one when she was just a kid that pulled out a sword, and yet when she succeeded in winning battles and leading them, they found dissatisfaction in the fact that even though she was capable, she didn’t have the heart to truly move or guide people because all she was, was some kind of being that was so great yet so difficult to understand. What she sacrificed to lead people in the end became what the people revolted against her for. It’s so… ridiculously ironic that it honestly breaks my heart to think about how difficult it must have been for Saber. She gave up herself and lived for these people that ended up going against her despite her doing her best in the only way she knew to lead them. She was always alone, but no one thought anything of it, because she was the king, and yet despite whatever misgivings she had as a king, the knights never questioned her until they decided to just leave her. Just as she never showed them and the people her emotions and thoughts, her people also never wanted that from her until they suddenly decided otherwise. I think by seeing all this, I can much more appreciate how the innocent, cute and sweet Saber acts in front of Shirou. It’s like, because of him, she was able to regain and show a part of herself that she had to always restrain inside because of how unnecessary it was to the world, and yet Shirou from the very beginning always insisted on treating her as a human, as a girl and as just any other person. How ironic it is that she was never treated as a human when she was alive, yet she is treated as one when she becomes a Servant. I think what must have broken her the most was her last battle against the knights that usurped her throne and split the country in two, making her fight in the soil she fought so hard to protect all these years. And I guess that’s why Saber can so assuredly say that Shirou’s way of living is wrong and will cause him grief in the future. Because they’re so similar in that they both completely disregard themselves as “anything” compared to the “importance” of others. On a lighter note, I love how simple and sweet their everyday life is, it’s so cute how much fun Saber and Illya have just sharing boxed lunches together in the dojo, they’re so adorable. Although I do have to really question how useful Saber and Shirou’s training has been if they’re both so reserved towards each other now lol.

The heroic spirit thing is certainly interesting… To think that heroes make a contract with the world in order to become a hero, receive powers beyond humans and then pay for this after death by becoming heroic spirits that could be summoned for the war… But Saber is different because she became a hero with her own powers and not by contract with the world, it was only when she was about to die that she made that contract to be a heroic spirit in order to obtain the Holy Grail (that she sought when she was Arturia). Hmm so right now, Saber isn’t exactly a Servant since her time has only “stopped”, but then when she gets the grail, she will die and become a heroic spirit as per the contract…and that’s why she can’t go into spirit form… it’s actually because she’s not dead😮 And unlike the other Servants who are essentially copies of themselves (so they disappear when defeated), Saber goes back to her own time (the moment before her death) instead. I wondered to what point Saber wants to change things, but to think she believes that maybe the sword chose wrong, so she wants to redo the selection in hope that a more “suitable” king would be found and her country wouldn’t be in ruins because of her. Honestly, although Shirou is mad that she has no regards for herself even to this point, and that he wants the Saber here to be happy (instead of just the Saber that will not be king if she really gets the Holy Grail), I’m mad at Saber for completely disregarding the ten years she fought for her country. Even if it ended in betrayal and shambles, even if that wasn’t the ending she desired, how can she disregard the lives she saved alongside the lives that were lost? What makes her think that this is entirely her responsibility? Just as she chose to pull out the sword, the others decided to follow her (even if it was in reluctance for a bit), the fall of a country isn’t someone’s sole responsibility. But I guess what annoys Shirou the most is that even though Saber tells him that he’s on the “wrong path”, Saber doesn’t even realise she’s doing the same thing as him. She only thinks of herself as the king that failed and must do something to rectify that when she doesn’t even really think of her own life outside of being king. 

Hahahaha, I love Tiger Dojo 9 when Taiga and Illya diss Saber for being weak, getting controlled by Caster and killing Shirou lmaoo. LOL at Saber getting her revenge on them riding a tiger hahahaha, omg these Tiger Dojos are so fun to read. Kinda sad that Caster has to interrupt during the heated conversation, sooo rude lol. Lmao at Saber wanting to use Excalibur against the horde of golems in Shirou’s house, lady, do you want to destroy everything and the people in the vicinity?! Caster feels like such a cheat though, not only can she cast magic without a Magical Circuit and with short incantations since she’s from the age of Gods or whatever, her Noble Phantasm is rigged even if it’s not “super powerful” like Saber’s. I’m surprised that Gilgamesh appeared to “save the day”. But anyway, I guess I’ve never been a fan of Caster and Gilgamesh because imo they kinda ruin the power balance in the story and makes things less interesting. Let’s see if the novel changes my mind for this haha. Maybe now I’ll get to see why Gilgamesh is so obsessed with Saber?

Honestly though, I find Saber so silly to think that if she herself was an incapable king, what makes her think that she is capable of properly selecting an “appropriate king” in her stead? Hmmm, how interesting that the Einzbern family were the ones who initially wanted to summon the Holy Grail but ended up getting cooperation from the Tohsaka family due to the need for their land, and then they got the Makiri family to try and balance things out, but since the first “war” ended in such a bloodfest, the Holy Grail War started changing into what it is now, with Einzbern providing the vessel, Tohsaka the land and model for the Servants, and the Makiri provided the Command Spells. I’m kinda glad that Shirou knows his feelings for Saber though, I mean he’s so obstinate about “saving” her and keeping her here so she can live a life for herself instead of others, it was about time for him to realise how important she was to him haha. Although I do feel like the romantic vibes are rather weak, I do acknowledge that their relationship is something more along the lines of they would sacrifice their lives for the other without even needing to think about it. 

LMAO when Tohsaka asked what Shirou was going to do tomorrow with such a serious face and he says he’s going to go on a date hahahha. Tohsaka was so cute when she burst out laughing at him. Their date was so awkward and yet so cute lol. I really liked their conversation at the bridge, it’s mainly a reiteration of what they both stubbornly want from each other; with Shirou wanting Saber to live her life for herself and Saber denying that because it’s her duty to attain the holy grail. They both care about each other but just can’t find a way for the other to understand what they want or must do. But yeah, I just really liked it because I guess it was nice to see more depth to Saber’s feelings, her pain and how much she wants to do what Shirou wants her to do but is unable to because she feels so bound to her duty. Mmmm I see! Gilgamesh is the king of heroes, a half God half human king that had a whole treasury of weapons (that are now Noble Phantasms because they’re now owned by heroes) and collected them his whole lifetime, and they were only spread through the land after his death. Even though Gilgamesh is infinitely arrogant and overbearing, it was rather respectable for him to use Ea, a sword that only the king of heroes possesses to face off against Excalibur. Although Gilgamesh won and was as detestable as ever, it was great to see Shirou relentlessly continue to fight half dead. What Saber couldn’t do, Shirou did, even if he was weak, even if he was tattered by Gilgamesh, he still stood because he no matter what desired to protect Saber, the most important person to him, and honestly although these scenes are cliche, I still really loved it because I could really feel Shirou’s desperation, and Saber’s hope for him to just give up and not hurt himself anymore. So when he was able to hurt Gilgamesh (and cause him to leave for some reason, probably because he felt so disgraced lol), and Saber held him up realising that he was her sheath (to Excalibur), that scene was really beautiful and heartwarming. Because not only does he really have Saber’s sheath (and that’s why his wounds always heal next to her), it’s already been said (in her past) that what’s more important than the sword is the sheath itself that will always protect her, and it’s kinda cute how Shirou is exactly that.

Oh dang, Saber in her sleepwear?! I’m surprised Shirou wasn’t excited! Hahaha, but I guess the atmosphere didn’t allow that. He kissed her, he showed her and told her his feelings very explicitly, but she couldn’t accept them no matter what, but she at least decided to hug him to sleep as a way to recover magical energy, and to spend one last night selfishly being Arturia rather than King Arthur. I… didn’t think I could get so disgusted with Kotomine. To think that all those children who were orphans from the fire ten years ago were taken in by the church and tortured all this time to give Gilgamesh the power to stay in this world…. Thinking about Shirou witnessing the scene of them all practically the living dead with missing limbs etc yet still “alive” really crushed me, because it’s so true, because Kiritsugu saved Shirou, he didn’t have to suffer like them, once again, he is the true sole survivor of that fire. It’s just so disheartening to think how that must feel and how much it must break him. Honestly, I feel sorry for Lancer that his Master is Kotomine. Although it would have been logical for Shirou to want the holy grail to undo the fire ten years ago, it was expected that he wouldn’t, since from the very beginning, he has never denied his past, he continues to carry it within him and apologise to the ones that died because he survived, but he has never thought that he would want to redo it. He always moved to change the present and only looked back for his resolve. So, I’m glad through him, Saber can understand how strong he is, and how wrong she has been. Just as it is cruel to deny the past, it is cruel to deny everything that happened after such an event. If she truly wants to change things, it should be done in the present. I’m glad she has come to terms with the decisions she made in her past. Even though it all ended in grief, those were her decisions and she did everything in accordance to her oath, there is nothing that she still needs to bear responsibility for. It must feel pretty crappy to be Saber though. She’s been fighting for the Holy Grail in two wars hoping that it would fulfill her wishes, only to realise that it’s just something that provides pure power of destruction to fulfill wishes since it’s the only way it can fulfill wishes. So really, unless she’s willing to sacrifice everything around her then really, this whole war was just pointless. But yeah, I really love Lancer. I love how he’s someone who follows his beliefs more than anything.

It’s nice yet saddening that Saber finally understands that Kiritsugu didn’t betray her. He knew this grail wasn’t what she wanted, not that he thought she needed it anyway, but after knowing what it really was, it definitely wasn’t what she wanted. It must feel terrible to have hated him for so long, only to realise that he was right, and that he wasn’t as bad as she thought. I see, Illya is a human made from a Magic Circuit, so that’s what the vessels are… I guess it’s kinda funny to call Gilgamesh and them OP when I guess Saber is always the OP one when Shirou gives her stuff like her proper sheath and sword. I honestly didn’t expect that the projection of her sheath could actually block Gilgamesh’s Ea and Kotomine’s black mud. I guess it’s a very flexible thing that can protect you from anything huh? Since it is apparently the greatest protection lol. And with that opening, both Shirou and Saber have the opening needed to defeat their opponent~ Shirou needs to thank Rin for giving him her Azoth dagger haha. Honestly though, I think Gilgamesh is less repetitively overbearing in the VN, I think regardless of how he was and how he acted, the grace he possessed after his defeat was definitely refreshing. Although it’s saddening that destroying the grail will lead to Saber disappearing, this is what they want and what is the best for their respective paths, because with this, they can finally accept everything they had done and finally move forward knowing that the path they have chosen is what they wanted. Saber’s confession to Shirou before disappearing was natural yet beautiful. It didn’t make me feel sad that they can’t be together, but instead I think I found a lot of relief from it, because both their existences helped the other come to terms with everything in their past and finally accept it for what it is and for what will come.

Omgg I love how Taiga took Illya in! Since Taiga is childish, they would get along so well! Hahaha. Although I guess it’s mainly Illya bullying Taiga hahaha. It was really nice to see Shirou keep up his normal everyday life yet have matured, it was really nice to see that. It was also really heartwarming to see Bedevere (Arthur’s loyal knight) fulfill Saber’s last wish of throwing the sword into the lake (to end her duty as king) and be able to see Saber/Arthur pass with a peaceful expression believing that her “dream” (of Shirou etc) will continue. Honestly, it felt like the whole route was made just for this to happen, because if it was the Saber before, she would never have been able to pass on in peace, but after everything that happened, this was the natural thing to happen, and it’s pretty worth it to see her be able to be happy about her decisions instead of regretting them for eternity.

Overall, although I did think the beginning was very slow and rather time consuming, I have to admit I did very much enjoy the Fate route. Although I don’t think the 2006 anime is exactly terrible as others say, I do think it really cut out a lot of Saber’s character that was quite thoroughly explored here. I think the thing I loved about it most was that I honestly expected it to be a very romantic route considering how Shirou acted towards Saber and how much he wanted to protect her throughout the whole route, but really, it wasn’t that romantic at all. Mainly because, I think Saber and Shirou’s relationship was there to make them both grow and accept their past, and move forward without regrets about how they could do better, and instead accept that they did what they could, that they did their best and that in respect for their past, they should hope to change the present instead of dwelling on the past. Honestly, I never really thought Saber and Shirou were similar until I played through this route, and it’s kinda cute how absolutely stubborn they both are (which is why Rin is so important to help them understand each other), and how they both refused to allow the other disregard themselves for others. I loved how the way they learnt to cherish themselves and their own lives was through looking and caring for the other so much that they couldn’t help but understand how important they were due to their need and love for each other. They both always put others before themselves because just as Saber was bound to her duty as king, Shirou was bound to his responsibility as the sole survivor of the fire ten years ago. But unlike Saber, Shirou never wanted to change the past, because he understood the importance of accepting events that have occurred, acknowledging mistakes and responsibilities and doing better in the present and the future. And I loved how although Shirou was annoyingly obstinate about stuff like Saber is a girl etc, it was his way of trying to convey to her that she already gave her whole life to being a king, she didn’t need to sacrifice her afterlife to being responsible for other people anymore. I honestly thought Saber’s meeting with Shirou was such a blessing for her, because it was through him that she was finally able to find peace in the decisions she made in her life, and yet was still able to experience a fun “dream” with Shirou and others as “Saber”. Tbh though, when I was reading through the route, a lot of things did feel tedious, but I think it all built up very nicely to the finale, because it was through all those “annoying” moments that I was able to see how worth it it was for Shirou to be so persistent about “saving” Saber, and I’m so glad he was so annoying about it hahaha. And it was nice to see that Shirou’s will to save and help people really ended up saving himself and Saber.

[theymetinthetoihlet]

Just need to write down my opinions on the songs and how they make me feel. Again,it is just MY personal opinion.I am not saying this is what they are actually about.There is no way of knowing that. Harry said it himself:he doesn’t explain songs because he wants people to interpret music their own way.

Golden:I read it as a song about grief. In my opinion,it is like the aftermath of what is described in ESNY. When you get bad news,you initially feel empty and like there’s no antidote for that sorrow. Then you feel heartbroken and helpless because what can you do when something bad happens? But then someone,someone golden,helps you. They take control of the situation even though they’re scared to see you that broken and open and vulnerable. And you find that antidote you were looking for in loving that person. The melody is everything. The way he sings “You’re so golden”!! It really is that song I’d be listening to on my way back from the beach with the windows of my car down and the sunset as background.

Watermelon sugar:In my opinion,it is about this person who makes you feel warm even if it’s cold outside. They’re the end of June,they taste like strawberries,they give you that watermelon sugar high you don’t want to go without. You want to keep tasting it because how can you go without that summer feeling once you’ve got a taste? It’s the song I’ll dance to the most probably. Even if I’m sweeping,I’ll grab the broom and start dancing if it comes on shuffle. It is THAT BITCH.

Adore you:When you don’t need any more reassurances.When you’re sure of what you have.When all has been said and done. The only thing left to do is adore this person you’d walk through fire for and whose eyes you get lost into. I personally think that adoring someone is the ultimate form of love. I come from a catholic environment and the term adore is usually linked to the worship of a “greater being”. How much do you have to love someone to get to the point of adoration? Its sound is so great!

Lights up:I’ve already shared my opinion on this one when it was first released. I still think it is about fame and the struggle between who you are and who you should be when you are someone who lives under the spotlights.

Cherry:Sorry but lyrically I cannot see it as more than a stunt song. He has an album full of metaphorical lyrics and then you have this song where you can suddenly see what/who it is about?which is made even more obvious by the added voicemail?Okay. I bet the new person the subject of this song is in a relationship with,is very please to know that their so gave the permission to use their voice in a song like this lol Anyway the melody is so soothing.LIKE! I didn’t expect that at all but I like it!

Falling:It is one of those songs which make me feel sad even if I’m not. I read it as that feeling you have when you’re feeling down and you think that you’re not enough especially for the people you love the most. You start questioning yourself. You start regretting the stuff you said when you weren’t in the right mind to say things. You start thinking about all the what ifs. The melody would make me cry even without the lyrics. And his voice!!! I relate to this song a great deal especially when he sings the chorus. One of my favourites!

To be so lonely:It’s like when you mess up (maybe because of jealousy?)and you know it but you can’t admit it so your person kind of takes a step back. It is easier when you’re out and about but then you come home and feel all the loneliness. In the end you say sorry though because missing your person wins over you being an arrogant son of a bitch (his words not mine 🤷🏻‍♀️). I read the lyrics between the album came out but I’d never imagine for the melody to be LIKE THAT! Wow I can picture myself to listen to this song while lying on a straw bed in the countryside!

She:A man who has kids,an office job and a boat. A man who sometimes imagines to sail away but what would he tell the others,his mates? A man who plays pretend because at the back of his mind there always this “she” which I think represents his true self but he doesn’t know neither where or who “she” is. “She” is the other part of the “we” he sings about in Fine Line,in my opinion. I’ve has the chorus stuck in my head since I first heard it! The sound is soo good.It is a JAM.

Sunflower,vol. 6:In my opinion,it’s like seeing someone you love going through a hard time and wanting to get inside their head to see what they’re thinking about so that you can try and help them. It’s you telling them to plant new seeds but keeping the memory of what went lost at the same time. It’s you loving them more and more and more. The sweetness of calling your lover sunflower... I also have some thoughts about the “volume 6” but I think I’ll keep ‘em to myself. The sound is so good! You can’t help but bop to it! And what even is that end! I love it!

Canyon Moon:I‘m trying to keep this as generic as possible but this song is literally about Harry missing Louis during his tour. I think that “The world’s happy waiting” refers to the people all around the world waiting for him to go to their cities and perform. “I’ll be gone too long from you” hello?? “Two weeks and I’ll be home” HELLO?? I think “Canyon Moon” is a metaphor for the places and the moments they’ve been together and happy that he keeps thinking about when he misses Home too much. Harry said country music rights with this one! Sooo good! Is he the one whistling though?

Treat People With Kindness:I think this is about tour. It’s about how free and accepted he felt. And it is not just for him. It is for all the people who felt the same. If you treat people with kindness and they do the same to you,you can create a good space where you are free to dance around and feel good. This is so much fun! The chorus would have made a good advertisement jingle in the 90s. He’s going to have so much fun performing it. I think it is the Kiwi of Fine Line when it comes down to the live performance. I can’t wait to see his dance moves 💃🏻

Fine Line:Okay so the first time I read the lyrics of this one,I thought it was a song about a relationship. Then I read the lyrics again and...I kind of think this is a conversation between two sides of the same person? The two sides being the masculine and feminine sides,in my opinion. It’s like you’ve struggled to get to know and accept that other part of yourself. In the end you succeed by “spreading it open” and finding that balance that helps the two sides co-exist and you (we) will be alright. Of course,you will 💚 I don’t know I guess it could be about both. Or neither. I really like this one and the melody is so soothing. Like I’m going to play it every night before bed so that I can relax. I can almost see him performing it while sitting on a stool with just a light beam on him.

This is my take on the album. I’m really happy to have new music from Harry. I really liked HS1 but I think I like Fine Line more. They’re very different sound wise and I think he made this album by focusing more on the melodies than the lyrics maybe because he was thinking about how the songs could work while being played live on tour. Once,Harry said that the amazing thing about music is that there is a song for every emotion and that’s what I feel while listening to his album(s). There is a song for feeling:feeling sad,feeling happy and accepted,feeling loved and taken care of,feeling conscious of yourself,feeling secure of what you have with your person. And there is a different sound for each of those feelings.m which is what I like the most about this album. There is not even one song I’m going to skip! I’m glad he had fun while making this new album.You can feel it. I hope he’s proud of himself as much as I (and many more of us) am of him.