#this morning i find myself thinking of that plant that makes you hurt so bad you'd rather kill yourself than deal with the pain | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

laurel-finch · 1 year ago

Text

'I Don't Bite' S1.Ch07: The Real Monsters

Summary: The team works together to save Sam, but they incur a heavy cost... Referenced Episodes: mentioned S1 E6 "Skin," S1 E15 "The Benders" CW: Gore! Lore dump! Kidnapping. Word Count: 6150 Recommended Song: Crazy Train -- Ozzy Osbourne Previous Chapter -- Masterlist -- Next Chapter

“Why can’t I just pretend to be anything else?”

“I don’t have a state police ID for you, and they won’t just let some random civilian in on the investigation.”

"Dean, I don't think they're going to believe this."

"What? Why wouldn't they?"

"I don't exactly look like a police dog," I huffed, hardly believing that he had faith in this plan. "No one is going to believe that an off-duty cop and his 'wolf-dog' – who, by the way, is bigger than a Great Dane – are here to investigate the sudden disappearance of his cousin, who just so happens to be related to a known murderer that you look exactly like." I inhaled heavily, having said it all in one breath. Dean raised an eyebrow at this, a light smirk on his features.

"A little positivity wouldn’t hurt!" he exclaimed with a cheesy grin my way. He threw the car door open and stepped into the bright morning sunlight. I sputtered and he made his way around the Impala to the passenger's side door, opening it for me. With a small glare, I jumped out of the car and landed lightly on my paws. I straightened myself and shook out my fur to bask in the warm light.

"See? You're not that wolfish, this'll work like a charm!" I did my very best to glare up at Dean, the top of my head even with his chest. "Don't give me that look."

I huffed and turned away from him, making my way toward the police station. He followed, keeping up with my lanky strides.

"Maybe you should wag your tail for a better effect," he said. I snapped my furred head to his and pulled back pink gums to reveal deadly fangs. "I'll take that as a no." He said with a chuckle.

The waiting room of the police station was rather small, with only a few couches, a small coffee table, a TV showing the local weather, and a tall, fake plant standing in the corner. I surveyed the rooms, earning strange glances from the bustling officers and lawyers migrating up and down the hall.

Dean was sweet-talking the receptionist and she was soaking it up like a sponge, twirling a piece of ginger hair in her fingers. Finally, he flashed his stolen badge at her and her blue eyes widened.

"What can I do for you, sir?" she asked and moved away from her computer monitor to give him her full attention.

"No need to call me sir, sweetheart. I'm off duty, I just need to speak to one of your officers." He flashed her his winning smile. I nudged my head against his thigh, an indication to skip the flirting. He pushed my head away with his hand.

"Well, what are you here for Mr. Washington? I'm sure I can find someone willing to help you," she batted her eyelashes at him. I had enough of this and leaned up to place my head on the counter, standing nearly on the tips of my toes. She squeaked and I flattened my ears against my skull.

"Sorry miss, this is my police dog," he said, glaring at me. I kept my eyes trained on the receptionist. "She goes with me pretty much everywhere, even when I'm off duty." I huffed, my hot breath fanning her face. She scrunched her nose in distaste and turned back to Dean. "We're here about a missing person. I was having a few drinks with my cousin last night, and he's gone missing now."

"Oh, that's horrible," she said, puckering her lips at Dean and lowering her lashes. Before she could open her wide mouth again, I jumped, placing my two forepaws on the counter. She jumped and glared at me. "Bad dog. Shoo," she said, gesturing for me to hop down. I glared at her and she faced Dean once more, rather uneasy. "You're in luck, Mr. Washington. The Deputy who handles most of our missing person's cases is in today. Go straight down the hallway to your right, it's the third door on the left."

Dean thanked her and shot me a quick glare, to which I replied with a dramatic wag of my tail. He rolled his eyes and made his way down the hallway. We stopped at a door with the name 'Deputy Kathleen Hudak' printed on the front in gold letters. Dean and I looked at each other once more before he pushed the door open for me and I sauntered in.

The deputy looked rather shocked to see a legitimate wolf walk into her office, nearly spilling her coffee on herself. She looked visibly confused as Dean introduced himself.

"Uh… what can I do for you, Officer Washington?" Hudak asked.

"I'm working on a missing persons case. You see, my cousin and I were having a few drinks at the bar last night, the one down by the highway." She raised an eyebrow at Dean and he disregarded it, continuing with his mostly true story. "He left a few minutes before me, we were going to drive back together. He disappeared though, haven't seen him since."

Hudak pondered this for a moment before speaking. "How drunk was he?"

Dean chuckled. "Sammy? He could take two shots and pass out." He made a motion with his hand, much like an airplane crash. Kathleen looked unamused.

"I'm sure he's fine Mr. Washington, he'll probably wake up in a bush soon and give you a call. I don't think you need to worry." She moved to return to her computer screen, but I stopped her with a light growl. She frowned at me and then turned to Dean with a scowl on her face. "You know, I've never heard of the state police being allowed to have wolf-dogs as their K-9 companions."

"She is pretty special," he said, giving me an affectionate pat on the head. "Very well trained. I swear, sometimes I wonder if she thinks like a human." He flashed her a reassuring smile.

She paused once again before speaking. "Alright, Gregory," she started, using his ID's first name. "If we're going to find your cousin, we need to do it properly-" she reached for a piece of paper beside the copy machine behind her. "- So I'm going to have to ask you to fill out a missing persons report so we can make a case out of it."

"Officer," Dean interjected, his tone serious. Hudak turned back to face him. "This county seems to have a lot of missing cases. How many of those people actually come back?"

The two stared each other down and my eyes flitted back and forth between them. Finally, Hudak gave in. "What did you say your cousin's name was?" she asked, seating herself in front of her computer and pulling up a registry. Dean beamed at her.

"Sam Winchester."

She typed the name in as I moved to sit beside her. She spared me an uneasy glance before continuing. "So you're aware that his brother, Dean, was suspected of murder and died in St. Louis a few months ago?" At this, I rolled my eyes and tucked my head down, hiding my all too human gaze from the officer. I held my breath, waiting for the moment she pulled up Dean’s record out of curiosity and we were busted.

"Yeah, Dean. Kind of the black sheep of the family. Handsome though," his chuckle soon turned into one of discomfort as the officer and I looked unamused by him. "I think I'm seeing double," he said nervously. Kathleen and I turned to face each other, twin frowns on our faces.

She exhaled slowly, taking in the image of Sam's face on the screen. "I'll head to the County Works Department, see what I can dig up."

"I saw an old set of cameras outside the bar. Maybe one of those saw what grabbed my brother." Deputy Hudak still looked unconvinced. "Mind if I tag along, officer? I promise you won't even know I'm there." She glared suspiciously at Dean and then at me. I wagged my tail at her for good measure.

—

I had never ridden in the back of a sheriff's car before, and I have to say I never want to do it again. Hudak had left me in the car, windows rolled down a bit, while Dean waited for her outside. She came out not long after with a stack of paperwork in her hands. I pricked my ears, straining to listen to their conversation. All I gathered was that they had an idea as to the perpetrator's truck based on a new-looking license plate and the 'whining-growl' of an engine.

It was hot in there, even with the windows open, and dark. I wasn't fond of it. The only good thing about it was that there was room to stretch out in my furred form. Dean's car had little room to stretch out as a human, and he certainly wouldn't allow me to get fur all over his car.

I huffed and laid my head on my paws as they made their way back to the car. As soon as Dean sat down and shut the door behind him I was immediately upright and leaning my chin on the back of his seat. The Deputy's car rumbled as she started it and crept forward like some hulking beast. I dropped my head on the center console and stared out the front window. Dean’s fingertips wound into my fur and scratched my ears. I glared from the corner of my eye.

“She’s a good girl,” Kathleen said with a warm smile.

“Sure is,” Dean answered, giving me a few dramatic pats. I made a sound low in the back of my throat and pulled away from him. He was going to get an earful later.

"That string of traffic cams only goes 50 miles down the road," Kathleen began, as she turned onto the highway. "I lost the truck at the end of the cameras, so they've got to have taken a back road 50 miles or more down the road."

Dean grunted in response. "They've probably got a lot of private roads in this area huh?" Kathleen hummed in response and the car fell silent once more, with Dean trying to strike up the occasionally odd conversation and Kathleen shooting him down.

I eventually closed my eyes, listening to the roar of the car engine and enjoying the feeling of Dean's fingers running through my fur. My eyes snapped open upon hearing a loud beep from the monitor in front of the center console.

She turned the monitor towards her, reading what it had to say before locking her eyes back on the road. I sat up and shifted behind her to look at the screen. I whined softly.

Shit.

"So Gregory," she began. I paced on the seat nervously, thinking about my options. "I ran your badge number. Turns out, it was stolen not too long ago." I whined again and Dean looked helplessly between me and the cop. "Look. It even had a picture of you." She turned the monitor to face Dean, showing her a picture of a much larger black man.

Dean chuckled nervously, looking between her and the monitor as she slowly pulled over. "I lost some weight-" he started. "- And I got that Michael Jackson skin thing done-"

"OK," Kathleen interjected. "I'm going to need you to step out of the car."

Dean protested and they argued back and forth while I paced. I couldn't attack her, what if I accidentally bit her or maimed her? And if I did we'd be in even more trouble. What was I supposed to do, sit on her and hope she suffocated in my fur?

"Kathleen," he began, a tone mixed with danger and pleading. "Look into my eyes and tell me I'm not lying about this." I whined, having missed the majority of their argument in my own frantic state. Her eyes flitted between mine and his. Dean's were stern, full of confidence.

"You've given me no choice, I have to take you in," she said quietly.

"You can take me in after we find Sam. He's my responsibility. I have to at least make sure he's alright." Was he that stupid, willingly turning himself in? So blindly faithful?

The two stared each other down for the longest time, neither backing down. Finally, she dropped her gaze and muttered an 'OK'. "After we find Sam Winchester."

I whined loudly, dropping my head back onto the back of her seat. She chuckled and pointed a finger at me. "And you, I knew you weren't a police dog. You've got to be at least 87% wolf, there is no way they'd allow you to be part of the canine unit." I cast Dean a knowing look.

I had never hated a car ride more in my entire life. The tension in the air was almost palpable, I felt like I was choking on it. The only thing that kept me grounded in that swirling sea of emotions was searching out the scent of cherries amongst the scent of anger. I hoped to God that I would never have to be in a situation like that again, but with the Winchesters it was unlikely.

"Wait, wait, pull over here!" Dean suddenly exclaimed, pointing out the window to his right. I lifted my shaggy head and searched for what he was pointing at, seeing a not well-managed road. Kathleen pulled the car over as Dean had asked and hopped out of the car before it had even stopped. I moved to jump into the front seat and follow him, but Kathleen held an arm out, blocking me. She quietly told me to stay put and I growled in response. There wasn't much I could do to oppose her without giving myself away.

"This is the first turn-off I've seen so far," I heard Dean say through the car door. It was hard to hear, but not impossible. My nose was practically flattened against the glass as I watched the pair make their way down the worn road.

"You stay here, I'll check it out," she told Dean. He looked at her like she was crazy.

"No way," Dean answered.

"Hey!" she hissed, stopping and facing him. "You're a civilian, and a felon, I think. I'm not taking you with me."

Dean glanced down the road, obviously mulling over his options. I knew he wouldn't fight her unless he really had to, but nothing was going to get between him and Sam.

"You're not going without me," he answered, shaking his head at her. Hudak sighed in frustration, looking once more at the car. We locked eyes and I barked at her, scratching at the glass. It was so irritating, knowing I had the capabilities to be helpful, but just couldn't in this situation. Stupid, stupid, stupid, I knew we shouldn't have gone with this plan.

"Alright," Kathleen started again. "You promise you won't get involved? That you'll let me handle it?"

Dean nodded vigorously. "Yeah, I promise." I huffed, my breath steaming the glass. Even I wasn't convinced by that.

"Shake on it."

Oh God, don't do that-

It was too late, the handcuffs were already clasped onto his wrist. Dean swore as she dragged him to the Driver's side door and fastened him to the handle, locking the door behind her. "Kathleen!" he called after her. "I really think you're going to need my help."

"I'll manage," she retorted. I growled and scraped once more at the door as she walked away from the car. Dean peered through the window at me, tipping his head as a sign that I should get out. I felt my bones snap and rearrange as I shifted back in my seat, shaking out my hair and readjusting my own clothes.

I looked out the passenger side window, waiting for her to disappear out of sight before opening the door and quickly locking it behind me so as to stop its incessant beeping.

"She took the keys with her," Dean said hurriedly, struggling with the cuffs.

"I know, I saw." I marched around the car and towards the worn path.

"Where are you going!?" Dean called after me, panic in his voice.

"To find Sam!" I called back. "Someone has to make sure they don't get themselves killed, and you'll figure out some way to get out."

"What if she comes back and sees you're not in the car?"

"Stall!" I said as I ran forward and jumped into my furred form, running down the beaten path. I ran after her, by now she must be far ahead of me. I had to catch up, or else she would have no backup.

I skidded to a halt as a dirty old wooden house came into view, not unlike the one where I had met Marcus and Caeden. This house screamed 'hillbilly' like no other I had seen.

On the front porch stood Deputy Hudak, talking to a ragged-looking little girl, whose hair was matted and dirty. I could practically smell the scent of filth on her from here. She was very clearly human. I ducked behind a clump of trees and surveyed the yard, seeing multiple odd buildings, like makeshift barns. One stood out to me as the dim sunlight, hooded by clouds, reflected off heavy steel doors. It clicked that that must be where they were holding Sam.

I moved to take a step forward towards Sam's location, only to hear a loud crash from the front porch. Shocked, I realized another human had attacked Deputy Hudak, a heavy shovel in his hands and scowl on his inbred face.

He snarled something at the little girl and she went off around the house. Not even moments later, two more, who looked like brothers, walked around the house and headed down the road back towards Hudak's car, her keys in hand.

My mind was reeling at this point. I knew I had three options – save Hudak, find Sam, or return to Dean and help him before the hillbillies got there. None of the options were good ones, as doing one would only compromise the others.

I was thoroughly screwed.

I didn't have time to panic, but I couldn't help but watch in horror as the oldest hillbilly took Deputy Hudak, throwing her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carrying her to the barn where I presumed they were holding Sam. They couldn't kill her yet, I knew that – if a cop was able to find them, then they would have to ask her if there were more on the way.

I snapped my head to the left, down the road where the two brothers were sauntering towards Hudak's car, laughing as they went. If they found Dean there, they'd surely kill him, or worse, and he was in no position to find them.

Before I had realized it I had made up my mind and was racing through the marshy woods towards the Deputy's car. Kathleen would be alright for now – if my hunch was right, she would have Sam. But Dean needed help now.

I didn't even bother with trying to be quiet. I thundered through the woods, breaking twigs and crunching leaves under my heavy, padded feet. My ears were flattened against my skull and I stretched myself to my full length, each stride covering an incredible amount of distance. The burning in my muscles was one I had come to enjoy, but I didn't have time to revel in it now.

In no time at all the car was coming into view. I had passed the brothers, but that still only gave me a limited window of time. As soon as my paws hit the gravel pavement surrounding the car I leapt into the air. Using the hood of the car as a springboard I lept once more and shifted midair, landing on my two feet and skidding, nearly falling.

Dean looked utterly shocked to see me. He was splayed out against the side of the car, reaching for the little antennae on the end. My still golden eyes settled on it and I raced towards it, unscrewing it hastily and handing it to Dean.

"We need to get out of here," I told him harshly. "Now," I snarled as he still stood dumbfounded. He jumped into action, eyes still wide with shock. While he worked to discard any trace of us being there, removing my own paw prints and the imprint of Dean and Hudak's shoes in the mud.

Finally, the handcuffs dropped to the ground and I quickly picked them up. Before Dean could utter a single word I took his wrist in my hand and dragged him behind me into the woods. We ran, Dean confused but willing to comply, our feet softly hitting the ground, us being careful not to make too much noise. It was only when Dean heard the guffawing and laughter of the brothers that he realized.

He opened his mouth to say something, turning to me with wide eyes. His expression turned from one of worry to one of shock when I pressed a finger to my lips.

We didn't say a word as we traveled silently through the woods. It wasn't until the main house was in sight that I took off at a dead sprint, Dean hot on my heels. I skidded to a halt in front of the barn doors and Dean nearly barreled into me. I helped him right himself, our faces close together.

"They're in here," I whispered, tapping the metal. He gulped, searching my still golden eyes. I realized they hadn't returned to their normal color, due to the stress of the situation. I was struggling to keep my fur from bursting out.

I was terrified of what we would find behind that door. I was terrified of the people that had taken Sam and Kathleen. I was terrified because never in my life had I experienced something like this. Before meeting the Winchesters I had been in only a few fights, none of them major like Chikaltio's. I was not prepared for this new lifestyle of having to fight to survive in a world that now knew of my existence. I was not prepared to have people rely on me, to call me their leader or their friend.

I was so scared that I was going to lose two people that I had begun to call my friends, my family, and that there was nothing I could do about that. That's why my eyes stayed that molten gold color, and I think Dean understood that.

Before I knew what was happening Dean was pushing the heavy metal door open, revealing a dark, open room. It smelled of sweat and dirt, making my nose crinkle in disgust. Light filtered in and illuminated the large room, and in the dim lighting I could see two large, metal cages and figures concealed within them.

"Sam?" Dean whispered and stalked into the barn with me to his back. I turned away from the cages, watching the entrance to make sure no one was going to sneak up on us.

"Dean? Is that you?" I heard Sam's voice from behind me. I struggled to pinpoint his scent, thoroughly unable to. It was as if the sound was detached from his body like he wasn't really there. I couldn't sense him, feel him in the room and that alone made my hackles rise. The scent of blood and death and grime was far too overwhelming.

After many hushed whispers, Dean had successfully deduced the workings of the cages. "These are going to be a bitch," he muttered to no one in particular. Sam chuckles, a sound that brought a smile to my lips after the stress of the last twenty-four hours.

"So, what was it, Sammy? What managed to grab you?" Dean asked quietly, fiddling with the mechanism that locked the cages. maybe he could unlock it without the key.

Sam chuckled again, leaning against the bars of the cage. "Dean, they're just people."

Dean stopped his fiddling and turned to his brother with wide eyes. "And you let them get the jump on you?" he scoffed playfully and shook his head before turning to me. "I'm not going to be able to unlock it like this. I have to find the key. Stay here, see if you can get them out," he whispered to me, placing a rough hand on my shoulder. "And if any of those wackos get in here, I don't care what you have to do, keep them away from Sam and Hudak until I get back." His tone was low and filled to the brim with hatred for the monsters that had taken his brother.

I nodded, holding his steely gaze with an equally ferocious one. He nodded back to me and took a step towards the door. Without thinking, I reached out and grabbed his hand as it slid from my shoulder, halting him in his tracks. "Be careful," I whispered. "I don't want to have to come rescue your ass."

He smirked and turned once more towards the door, disappearing into the gloomy, mid-day light.

"You know Sam, maybe we should put your brother in one of these after this. He might get a little less annoying after being cooped up in here," I teased in an attempt to lighten the mood as I reached for the bars of his enclosure.

Sam barked out a laugh. "I doubt it. He'd get whiny real quick." My grin only widened.

"We're going to get you out of here soon," I said, turning my golden gaze onto Kathleen. "Both of you." I strode towards her makeshift prison and met her suspicious glare. "Hi, Kathleen."

She frowned at me. "Who the hell are you? Did you let him out of those cuffs?" I heard Sam snort behind me, struggling to hide his laughter.

"You handcuffed Dean?" Sam asked, his half-hearted smothering of his laughter failing miserably.

"Course I did. I had already guessed that he was a felon after I realized he wasn't who he said he was," she snapped back. "I just want to know who the hell you are and how you found us here. Did you follow us? Are you one of them?"

I scoffed. "Lady, I've been with you the whole time. You pet me multiple times. Do you really not recognize me?" I stood up and spread my arms wide, resisting the strong urge to say 'ta-da'. Her eyes widened as it dawned on her just what I was suggesting.

"No fucking way."

"Yeah, fucking way," I said, a characteristic wolfish grin rising on my features. I sat back on the floor across from her. "I'm really sorry you got caught up in this. This isn't our usual thing, typically it's ghosts and stuff."

Sam started uttering my name with a warning tone. I knew he didn't like it when humans were told about what goes bump in the night. I silenced him with a glare.

"She's going to learn soon enough, Sam. Besides, she’ll arrest us otherwise.” Sam fell silent, an unhappy glare on his face. I sighed and turned back to Kathleen who looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "I'm really sorry you had to find out like this – I'm sorry you had to find out at all. But monsters are real. Those inbred assholes out there aren't like me though. They're just pieces of shit.”

We sat and talked, the three of us, and it felt almost normal. I nearly forgot about the iron bars separating us and just did my best to explain things to Kathleen; the Winchester's lives, my life, and all the dark things that really were hiding under her bed as a little girl. I did regret having to tell her, but it was better this way. I knew I was going to bash some heads sooner or later and I'd rather her be prepared than die from shock. I flinched at every passing sound outside the bar, fear and anxiety rising amongst all three of us. What was taking so long?

A rustling from outside the dim barn caught my attention. "Shit," I whispered, realizing what it was. Footsteps. I lunged to the side, hiding amongst the shadows as the door to the barn flew open and in walked one of the inbred cannibals.

I resisted the urge to snarl, realizing that if he was here, Dean was most likely caught- or worse. The man pulled a set of keys from his pocket and went to the control panel without saying a word, a shotgun slung over his shoulder. He turned the key, pressed a button, and strode over to Sam's cage before the door had even unlatched.

Sam glanced in my direction, worry adorning his features. His intense gaze flitted around his cage before landing on a small object by his foot, which he promptly grabbed. I half stood, prepared to throw myself into the fray. In the blink of an eye the man's gun went off and Sam was launching himself at the hillbilly, a growl of absolute rage leaving his lips. The two tussled on the floor, Sam beating the living daylights out of him. Finally, he snatched the gun from the man and hit him in the side of the head with it.

"Lee!" I heard the older man distantly scream for his son, likely wondering what was taking him so long. He called out for his son a few more times before everything went silent. I stood from my place in the corner and made my way to Sam, avoiding the downed hillbilly.

"Sam, get Kathleen out of there. I'll keep watch." Sam nodded and I shifted, once more shaking out my fur. I heard a gasp from Kathleen as if she only now believed what I had told her.

I licked my lips, my tongue running over the harsh points of my fangs. It wasn't long before Sam got the cage door open, just in time for us to hear the pounding of feet outside. We scattered as silently as possible. I watched as Sam disappeared around a corner and Kathleen climbed a hayloft. I hid behind an old crate, scraping along on my furred belly to stay hidden.

The heavy door flew open and my ears pricked, golden eyes watching the deranged father and son duo sweep through the main room, shotguns held high. I pulled my gums back and silently snarled, following them through the rooms.

I heard shots go off and stalked towards the noise, fangs bared and ears flattened against my skull. I heard a scream, like a war cry and I lunged into the room to find Kathleen wrapped around the only remaining son, squeezing his throat until I thought his eyes would pop out of his skull. I ducked as he waved his gun wildly.

Kathleen went flying, landing roughly on her back. The man screamed, aiming his gun toward her. I snarled and slammed into him, pushing her away from him. The gun went off, blasting a hole in the wall behind Kathleen. She stood and I pushed off the man, using him as a springboard and landing at her feet, skidding in the hay.

"Hey!" I heard Sam shout, catching the man's attention. He swung his shotgun towards Sam, who ducked at the last moment and fired. The bullet made contact with the soft flesh of his father's shoulder.

Sam rushed forward while the man was stunned and delivered a hefty punch. The man dropped his gun and swung back with all his might. Sam fell, knocked over by the force of the punch.

No, no, no, not Sam. I lunged at the man, sinking my teeth into his dirt-covered arm and tearing at the muscle. He screamed, and the sound brought me satisfaction. My fangs sunk into his shoulder and he screamed louder this time. I ground my teeth into his shoulder, crushing the bone in my jaws. I could feel it crumble as blood gushed into my mouth. Anything to keep him off Sam, off my friend.

I could feel him battering my sides, his screams falling on deaf ears and his fists feeling like flies against my skin. I couldn't hear anything but his screams. I tasted something metallic on my tongue.

Oh.

I roared and tore at the man's other shoulder. My top fangs sunk deeply into the dip of his collar bone, hooking underneath it. I ripped and tore until the bone came loose, taking the muscle with it. My claws curled into his soft flesh, my forepaws digging into the soft tissues of his upper arms. I felt blood gush between my toes. As soon as I felt it, I tore. I practically devoured his screams.

I vaguely heard someone screaming from behind me somewhere in the other room. A gun went off, but I paid no mind. I thought I heard Sam calling out to someone, but my mind was elsewhere.

I sunk my teeth back into his chest, my teeth coming in contact with his ribs. I pulled, satisfied at the cracking I heard. My muzzle was drenched in blood, but I didn't care. I just wanted him gone.

I wasn't sure when I tore out his lungs, but I know I did. They lay in a bloody heap beside me, along with a string of his organs that I had rooted through. He wouldn't be alive much longer. Something told me I had to make the most of it.

It was then that my eyes settled on his heart, faintly beating, but still doing its best to keep him alive. My world tilted and suddenly I felt like I was falling.

I heard screams, screams I remembered well.

Why are you afraid? I didn't mean to…

What did I do wrong? Are you crying?

Why are you bleeding?

I breathed heavily, my eyes befalling his heart once more. I swallowed, trying to hold back the wave of saliva and the pangs of hunger that consumed me. I bared my fangs, my nose practically pressed to his weakly beating organ at this point.

My ears were ringing. I couldn't hear. I could barely see. But I could taste. I could smell.

Don't do it.

My ears pricked at the whisper. I snarled and bared my fangs once more, huffing, my own heart squeezing, and my sides convulsing in hunger.

I wanted to vomit. What was I doing? I shook my head, trying to shake away the feelings of red, the wrath and fear I felt. I was warring with myself, mixing two worlds together.

What are you doing?

I don't know. Am I hurting you?

No.

Are you sure? What about now?

That hurts... What are you doing? Stop! STOP IT HURTS!

STOP.

"Stop!" I heard a familiar scream from beside me. I snarled, my teeth fixed around the man's no longer beating heart. I turned my fiery gaze to my verbal assailant, only to lock my molten eyes on a pair of candy apple green ones.

Dean held my gaze, his own filled with fear. A look I had hoped I would never have directed towards me again. My eyes widened at the sudden realization of what I had done.

The red faded. I removed my teeth from that man's heart with a whine, blood slipping down my jaws. I stumbled backward, tripping over my own feet and drunk with blood lust. Dean reached towards me, and I snarled at his hand, the red returning at the edges of my vision.

Don't touch me. I don't want to hurt you too. I tried to scream, but it only came out as a piercing howl. My panicked eyes fell on what I had done. What had I done?

My fur rippled and my bones snapped, changing shape without my consent. My whine really did turn into a scream, a bloodcurdling scream full of anguish and fear. I didn't have the control over my forms that I once had. My clothes ripped as they appeared in patches across my skin, emerging from beneath my skin as my fur receded.

I sobbed, choking on blood and wrapping my own blood-stained arms around me. I felt numb. Afraid. I spat onto the straw-covered floor.

Suddenly, a pair of warm arms were wrapped around me, a jacket being draped around my shoulders. Once more, I couldn't see. My tears betrayed me, blurring everything around me.. I couldn't see. I couldn't hear.

But I could smell. Blood. Death. Fear.

Cherries.

39 notes · View notes

riptideripley · 8 months ago

Text

Chapter Eight of Addicted

word count:1,137

Roman sat in his living room, distraught. After watching Smackdown and seeing his family fall apart, the last thing he wanted to see was his favorite person hurt. Rhea.

Turning his tv off after she relinquished her title, he sat there for a moment quietly. God knows how she’s feeling on the inside, he genuinely wanted to cry for her. He got himself stable and stood up off the couch, heading to the kitchen and pouring a small glass of whiskey.

Suddenly his phone began blowing up, text messages from Rhea along with more of his co-workers that he left on delivered. Downing the glass of whiskey, he picked up his phone and dialed Rheas' number.

“Hey Rips, look I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you when shit went left I-”

“It’s fine Ro.. is it possible I can um visit you sometime this week? I know you aren’t booked for anything so..”

“Yeah of course, anything you need I will always be here. Quick question..” he trailed off, scrolling through a few of his notifications. One from Charlotte caught his attention so he opened it, eyes going wide instantly. He quickly processed the small paragraph that was sent to him, falling quiet.

Char💙(3 days ago):

Hey Ro! I know you’re the closest with Rhea at the moment and I found some stuff out about Dom, I just don’t know how to tell her. I mean she just won at Wrestlemania so I don’t want to spoil things for her.. Basically what I found was pictures of Liv and Dom making out, I don’t know who sent them to me though.

“Ro? Is everything alright? You’re scaring me- Dom get off of him oh my god-”

He didn’t respond, just sighed and collected himself. “Yeah..everythings fine I just uh read something wrong sorry for worrying you” he lied, and he felt extremely bad.

“Oh no worries, hey when do you think I could come over? I’m looking at a couple flights right now..”

Roman checked his calendar, seeing that he had a date planned with Dean for tomorrow. “You can fly in tomorrow if you’d like, I do have something planned for 12:30 but I don’t mind you staying with me for a while or being here when I’m gone”

“Ok great, I just booked a flight. One more thing Ro.. is there anything you need to tell me before I get there?” shit.

“Of course not”

“Shit I forgot! How’s my baby Bella? Is she eating okay? Is everything f-”

Roman chuckled and cut her off, “Yes Rhea, Bella is fine. Along with Luna and Barry, Bella has just been sleeping all day for the most part.”

Rhea smiled to herself, thanking him for watching her dogs for her while she was traveling. They exchanged an ‘I love you’ to each other before she hung up the phone, turning her attention back to Dom. He was scrolling through his phone, seeming to be texting someone.

Rhea got a little curious, continuing getting her bag that she brought with her ready so she could leave. She slightly peered over as she stood on her tippy toes, only seeing the name as he put his phone away. She just stood there and didn’t say anything, turning her attention back to her stuff. ‘Why would he be texting Liv..’ she thought to herself.

“Hey I’m gonna head out now, I have a flight in the morning to go get my dogs and just relax back home” she announced, getting everyone's attention. Damian came over and gave her a final hug, planting a kiss on her forehead. “Safe travels sis” he told her, making her smile.

Dominik POV

I felt sort of relieved she had left, sneaking off from the rest of the group before our next segment to find Liv. “There you are, I’ve been looking for you since yesterday” I spoke as I finally found her, off to a corner by herself.

“Sorry I’ve just been a little busy. Has she left yet?” Liv asked, playing with the ends of my mullet. I smiled, “Yeah she’s gone, she’s leaving out tomorrow or something to go get her dogs. Since she’s gone though.. I have the room to myself” I glanced down at her, making her stop her actions and smile.

“I’ll be there don’t worry” she whispered and gave me a kiss on the cheek, walking off. I smiled and headed back to the judgment day's locker room, getting ready for the segment. Once the segment was over, I headed out with JD to get ready and have my match with Andrade.

He seemed a bit off but I just brushed it off, warming myself up.

No ones POV

Rhea finally got back to the hotel room and checked her phone, seeing as it was almost the end of Raw and she had at least an hour to get a nap before the flight. Stripping out of her clothes the best she could, she slipped herself under the covers. Her mind began wandering back to Wrestlemania 39 when she had match of the year with her best friend and her reign had begun.

Rhea closed her eyes and sighed, relaxing into the cold sheets. Finally she would rest without anything or anyone stressing her.

Fast Forward.

Roman woke up to someone pounding at his front door. He checked his phone and realized it was Tuesday, jumping out of his bed. When he opened the door, Rhea stood there slightly irritated. “Look I’m sorry I didn’t know when you’d get here-”

“It’s not you Ro, I’m just tired and over everything. Where’s my dogs?” she asked, stepping in the house as Roman moved out of the way. She relaxed her body and smiled, seeing a happy Bella run up to her. She carefully scooped Bella up with her non injured arm, walking over to the couch while being greeted by Barry and Luna.

“Want anything for breakfast? Unless you already ate” Roman asked as he made his way to the kitchen, opening the fridge.

“Some toast and eggs would be fine” she responds, gently caressing Bella. Slipping her shoes off, Rhea propped her legs up on the couch and scrolled through her phone. Her heart sank when she opened a message from JD.

Roman seemed to notice how quiet she got and sneaked up behind her, seeing a message similar to the one he received from Charlotte. Only this time..there was actual evidence. Her phone fell out of her hand as tears welled up in her eyes. Barry and Luna instantly sensed something was wrong, jumping up on the couch with her.

Roman was about to walk away and begin cooking the eggs, but Rhea stopped him in his tracks.

“Did you know?”

#wwe #rhea ripley #dominik mysterio #judgement day #wrestling #liv morgan #roman reigns #charlotte flair

9 notes · View notes

mallowstep · 2 years ago

Note

i hope you’re doing okay. 💙 it’s ok if you don’t answer this, i just wanted you to know folks are still thinking about you and wanting good things for you.

thank you babe (and thank you to everyone else who sent a message to this effect; i will answer them when i can)

i'm doing pretty well right now. i've been very busy at work, working on a top secret classified project (god only knows when you'll get more details than what i've already shared ;3), and also just. recovering from depression. there is so much of my life that even months out from the worst of it, i'm still trying to pull the pieces back together.

i have been writing a little. it's been difficult, mostly because of numerous incidents regarding writing and mental health (if you've been here for a while, you probably know about them; if you're new, the tldr is "mallowstep went off the wall for a bit and he's fine but it left him feeling bad"), and now i face down the summer which is...rough, mentally.

i don't know what normal looks like for me right now. i want to write but i don't know how it will fit into my life. i'm still making space for myself, in all the chaos and reconstruction. i know writing will be a part of normal for me. i just don't know where it fits yet.

it's been a while since i've felt like myself. the hollow feeling is abating. i am finding words to describe emotion again, that are more than just there or missing. i have been thinking about the stories i have yet to work on. what i want to tell next.

it has been an incredible two years for me. when i started this blog, i had just been broken up with by my boyfriend of three years, only a month or so after my childhood cat and dog had died one day apart. i was coping with so much impossible grief: i wrote the second chapter of i'll come back to you someday soon myself after my grandmother died, and i did not write anything after that for quite a while.

my wrists are healing. they hurt a little today and i'm not sure why, but they are healing.

i'll be going back to university as a natural resources major. i want a job that lets me protect and cultivate the forests i find so much comfort in. the complex webs of their ecosystems bring me so much delight. did you know trees talk to their daughters? did you know they care for their children? protect them?

it has been an incredible two years. i met my now-partner, learned how to actually trust people, and failed out of a year of college due to collapsing mental health. i went through approximately one million assessments to get a diagnosis and understand what was happening to me. i had a doctor tell me i was being undermedicated to an astounding degree. i had to let go of my beloved plants because i couldn't keep myself alive, much less then. i found a job i love so much i am eager to go to work every morning.

i honestly don't think i would've recognized who i am now, back when i started out here. i have become someone who trusts. who has connections with people. who does not fear so much. (i have also become someone who cries as i drive home from work sometimes. i have also become someone who needs to sit on the floor and count all the pieces of art i can see. we move in spirals, not straight lines.)

all of this is to say, i have been quiet on here for quite a while because i have been recovering from two years (a lifetime) of some truly exhausting events, as well as letting myself find things i enjoy. when i got out of high school, i loved what i was doing academically. i had very little passion. it had been bled out of me.

i am incredibly grateful to each and every one of you. your support, even in my period of dormancy, has meant so much. my relationship with writing sometimes feels like i am fighting my double, trying to balance both my need to use writing to understand myself, and my tendencies to ruin myself in the process.

i still don't have any promises to make, because i really don't know what's next for me. but i am still here, and you all still mean something to me.

with all my love, mallow

24 notes · View notes

pbandjesse · 4 months ago

Text

It's really tough to decide if I feel so horrible because I had the day off so I didn't have to push myself, or if I would have felt this bad regardless. It was a tough day.

I didn't think it was going to end up with me feeling so bad. I slept pretty well. I woke up at 830. I was in a good mood.

I would wash my hair first thing. Which was nice. It was nice to start the day feeling nice and clean. And I was in a pretty good place this morning.

I would get dressed and took Crabcake and Sweetp outside. I had the donut I got last night when me and James had gone out. I enjoyed the nice weather, hanging out in the porch swing. It was a beautiful day.

I had a nice morning. It was really nice outside and I was enjoying watching a show. I would do a little knitting. I would periodically go inside to clean something.

But I would very quickly have to go back and lay down. I was losing energy so quickly and it was really really tough.

I would spend a long time laying on the porch swing. Knitting. Watching a video. Trying to clean my body down.

I just so desperately wanted to accomplish stuff. I would put more soil in Crabcake's outside enclosure to cover up the tarp spots. I want to get more plants in there.

I would keep trying to go and do things. I would put together a sushi plate and was very excited about it. I let it sit out under a bowl for a while so it wouldn't be fridge cold.

In the mean time I tried going through my camp trunk. I collected all the clothes and stuff that needed to be washed. And put everything else in tote bags to bring upstairs. I moved a couple things in the basement. And just felt. Terrible.

I laid on the couch and attempted to eat. And it tasted great. But I had to keep taking breaks because I just felt so weak. Thankfully the food helped me a lot and I got some energy.

I would hang out and tried to get more stuff done. But I would end up just fall asleep. I almost never fall asleep without being under a blanket but I was out. Just asleep asleep.

I woke up at 4. And texted James.

They said when they got home they would make me cinnamon toast. And in the mean time I had a pudding and tried to feel alright. But I actually felt so much worse. And would just deteriorate for the rest of the day. Despite taking my meds. I just felt horrible. My stomach hurts so much and I'm just exhausted. I cant find a comfortable place to sit or lay and I'm just really having a rough night.

Tomorrow though I have work. I'm both having a table at the farmers market but also running an info table for the museum. So it's nice to get paid just for being there. And hopefully my body cooperates. Because today was not great for me!!

James just made me some pasta. And I'm trying hard to eat so hopefully it helps. I mostly just want to sleep.

Hopefully tomorrow is better. I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well. Send me good vibes. I love you all. Goodnight!

2 notes · View notes

ghostiewriter · 1 year ago

Note

Hi ghostie this is kinda out of nowhere but I’ve been wanting to ask you a question. So idk if I’m totally tripping or if I saw that you don’t really like Elain in acotar and I just wanna know the reasoning behind it.

I feel like I see so much hate on her character (I absolutely think she and nesta were shitty for the way they treated feyre throughout their whole childhood I’m not excusing that) and I might be completely wrong but I feel like so many people hate her because she’s not like nesta and feyre where they’re literal warriors and are strong hearted and brave. And before anyone attacks me I love all three sisters (nesta a little less because man she could be a fucking bitch to everyone for the stupidest shit a lot which had to do with depression and low self worth but sometimes it was just uncalled for but I’m hoping she’ll be better in the future books).

I’m a middle child and have a younger and older sister and it’s kinda crazy because I can see our personalities match the archeron sisters although the book personalities are more exaggerated my older sister is not that bad trust me, but I definitely see their bravery and strong hearts and stubbornness and can see them as warriors even if none of us can fight for shit lol. I genuinely feel like I relate more to elain with her kindness and compassions being the leading traits she has (I don’t do plants I love painting though anything artsy is my thing). I’m not a very brave person and I tend to be the one who mediates in any arguments and it makes me wildly anxious to be around when I’m with people who are fighting or arguing. I’ve also always had low self esteem and it’s hard for me to set boundaries with others because I’ve always been a people pleaser and tried to do anything to avoid upsetting others (I’m working on it and I’d say I’m better than a few years ago).

My sisters have “jokingly” called me weak mentally, physically, and emotionally because I’ve had depressive/anxious episodes where they sometimes find me crying in my moms arms because I wasn’t really good at managing my emotions (I feel incredibly deeply sometimes it’s horrible but when I’m happy I’m ecstatic, also I grew up in a household where negative emotions were avoided being talked about so none of us were able to learn to regulate them when they got out of hand). I guess I just see a lot of similarities between myself and elain where it feels like they sometimes treat me like I’ll break at the slightest inconvenience while also low key despise me for being this way? I feel like I’ve come a long way since a year ago and I feel like im beginning to master myself and my emotions and am slowly but surely becoming more sure of myself and set boundaries. I wish I could be brave like them and I believe I’ll get there someday but I also don’t think that remaining kind and empathetic and compassionate despite witnessing so many terrible things makes me less of a person than them. They tend to just assume rather than to put themselves in another persons shoes (I’d catch myself doing the same sometimes but I’ve realized it’s usually to make me feel better about putting others down).

Im realizing now that this just turned into a venting session and I’m truly sorry for that I know you’ve been busy with Jiara week (very excited btw :)) and I know I shouldn’t let the way people feel about a character hurt me it’s dumb lol it just made me feel like shit for being so similar to a character a bunch of people hate. I hope you don’t think less of me for this but I would really like to know what you think of elain.

this was...this was a lot of a thursday morning ngl!

i hope you don't take my answer personally since elain is a fictional character and all of this is based towards her, but i just don't find her a very interesting character. i understand she isn't a warrior-type female character and she isn't the first one sarah j maas has written. elide and yrene are examples of characters who are more love than war and i adored them endlessly. they were well written and had so much personality beyond the fact they were kind.

elain just feels really superficial to me and maybe that will change with her book, but i honestly can't say i care all that much about her. in the first book, yes nesta was a bitch but at least she was something. elain had nothing going. then potential came after she had been turned and yet still she somehow managed to remain the most boring character in this series when she arguably has some of the coolest powers. i feel like its overlooked how much she hurt feyre as well just because she is kind. as well as the fact that she just overlooks how much nesta protected her, not because she was made of glass but because she loved her.

the lucien stuff also kinda puts a bad taste in my mouth. i think stringing him along and not giving him a chance whilst also not making a decision is just a bit shitty. yes, she was traumatised and went through a lot but she also had no reason to be so hostile towards him when she was so kind to everyone else? like at least nesta was self-destructive with all her relationships, not just one.

anyways, i hope that answered your question!

#ask #elain archeron #acotar

12 notes · View notes

maladaptive-jcb · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 12: Counting the Hours

Jamie x female!reader

(fluff, safe for under 18)

Click here for chapter 11 if you missed it

_____

"I don't know how to skate, Jamie!" I say nervously.

I put my roller skates on and still sitting on the bench, too scared to stand up. Jamie begged me to come with him to the park to do this and I am now regretting myself for giving into his pouts and eye flutters this morning. However, he's right. It's a good day out and the weather is perfect. I told Adrian I'm taking the day off and he understood, given how much today is important for me and Jamie.

"It's okay. Trust me, hold my hands," he pulls me up as I groan.

"Let's hope you can support my whole body and not crash both of us to the ground," I try to stand up.

"Hey, don't underestimate my strength. I've been working out," he flexes his bicep.

"You're such a goof," I giggle at him. "Alright. Here we go," I stand up and immediately balances myself by holding onto him.

"There you go! Not so bad now, isn't it?"

I smile feeling happy, "Yeah! Not bad!"

We start slowly skating around the park. At first I held onto Jamie's hand but once I get the hang of it, he slowly lets me go. I hesitate at first but I finally balance myself and skate on my own. Happiness overtakes me and the wind on my face feels inviting for me to keep going. "Jamie, look at me! I'm doing it!"

"Yes you are!" He cheers me on skating right behind me.

Suddenly, my knee starts to wobble. In a split second, I hear Jamie yelling, "Y/n, be careful!"

Before I knew it, I fall to the grass right next to the skating lane we were on. Jamie skates towards me quickly and falls to his knees next to me. I feel a little lightheaded and my eyes start fluttering to Jamie's sillhouette staring down at me with the sun shining brightly above us.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" he checks on me.

I look at myself. The elbow and knee guards saved me from the fall.

"I don't think my body took a hit, but my pride definitely did," I groan. Now laying on the grass feeling embarrassed. Some passersby are hiding their very obvious stare and snicker. I sigh in defeat when Jamie suddenly starts chuckling and moves closer to lay on the grass right next to me.

"What are you doing?" I ask in confusion.

"Well if you're gonna feel embarrassed then I'll be embarrassed with you too," casually closing his eyes right next to me. "Such a nice, warm day, don't you think?"

His spontaneity has me bursting into a heartful laughter, warmed by his thoughtfulness behind it. I lean my head on his shoulder, now feeling the vibration of his laughter with it too.

"You feel better now?" He turns to me with a smile on his face.

His crystal eyes staring deeper into mine, always analyzing my thoughts and the details of my face. Something I will never get bored of seeing.

Something I'll truly miss very soon.

I lower my gaze onto his inviting lips and plant a kiss onto them.

"Now I feel better," I smile.

We get back up again carefully and Jamie tries to steady my balance, making sure to keep me safe.

"You want to try again?" he asks.

"Yes! I'm not giving up now!" I say in a better mood.

"That's the right attitude!"

We continue skating on the lane carefully with Jamie right by my side watching over me. He gives some techniques as I skate around which includes bending my knees right to pushing off my weight with my toes. Everything suddenly feels easier with his guidance and I find myself feeling even more comfortable.

"I can't believe it. You actually did it!" he holds me as we stop for a break. "I'm so proud of you, love!"

"Only because you helped me!" A grin forms on my face with happiness swelling in my heart.

The sun is getting high and drops of sweat are trickling on my forehead, not realizing that it's already afternoon. Time seems to move faster when I'm with Jamie, which I've experienced it many times when we spend time together. Yet, today is the day that I wished would go slower. I have to make every second count.

"You seem parched. Want to get some drinks?"

"Oh absolutely, that sounds perfect," my throat suddenly craves for something cold.

"Aroma Mocha?" He winks at the suggestion.

I hug him feeling thankful. "You know me so well."

We both go back to his car and unstrap our roller skates.

_____

"Ahhh.." I exhale after feeling the delicious taste of my favourite iced latte. The sun light hits us from the window of the cafe and it seems to be the perfect day so far.

"Thank you again for taking me out to the park. I had so much fun," I smile at Jamie across the table.

"I'm really glad you enjoyed it. All you needed was a little bit of convincing and pouting to come with me," he grins.

"Alright, I'll give it to you. You know what you're talking about and I won't question any of your plans again next time," I say, playfully rolling my eyes.

Next time. That won't be after a while.

Time passes in the strangest ways. It felt like it was just yesterday when we decided to sit at this very table, being practically strangers to each other, yet we both knew something promising was about to unfold at that moment.

Curious about what Jamie thinks of those times, I ask him, "Hey, remember the first time we were sitting here?"

He chuckles at the memory. "I remember you thinking I was a hot piece of ass and wanting me so bad."

"Oh really? That's how you remember it?" I start laughing.

He ruffles his hair and his cheeks turning a little red.

"Y/n. I gotta ask though, was I just being crazy or was there always something between us right from the start?"

I sit there, remembering all about the times of us seeing each other for the first time in the studio. The glances we steal from each other... the shy quick greetings the first few times.

"You weren't being crazy at all. It was always there... and I'm glad you did something about it first," I reach out for his hand.

"I couldn't pass up the opportunity," he lifts my hand up and kisses it. "Sorry it took me a while."

"You're forgiven," I smile.

Jamie now reaches out both his hands across the table and hold onto mine.

"I can't believe so many things have happened between us. You've changed who I am so much, y/n. I just can't imagine not being with you at this point," Jamie says with sincerity in his eyes.

"I can't imagine not being with you too. You've pushed me into being the person who I'm supposed to be. You're the reason I believed in myself to teach in the studio," I respond.

"I definitely believe in you, love. You'll help everyone there the way you helped me." He drops his gaze to the table and continue, "And I'm truly sorry I won't be there for it. I wished I could."

My hand twitches as I hear the words. My walls start crumbling and I slowly pull my hands away, now feeling the telltale sign of my emotions about to rise. A sudden sniffle escaping me.

"Sweetie, I know you've been avoiding this conversation all day. It's okay to be sad. Just please tell me if you are," his voice soft.

"I'm sorry, but I can't have this conversation here."

"I understand. Do you want to go back to my place and be together for a while? We don't have to talk if you don't want to."

I nod while still telling myself to put on a brave face.

_____

The whole ride was silent but I feel his hand on mine, rubbing it gently as he drives. It's a small gesture but it means the world to me. I realize that eventually, I still have to face the emotions that I dreaded the whole time.

We finally reach to his place and I let myself slump on the couch. I lay my head back to rest against it and close my eyes for a while. I want to stay strong for Jamie's sake but somehow, my emotions has me losing the battle in keeping myself distracted away from it.

"Do you need anything? Water?" Jamie's voice cuts the silence.

I shake my head. "I just need you. Here," I say softly.

"My love, I'm so sorry," he sits next to me and gently brushing the hair away from my face. "It's only for a while and we'll be together again before you know it."

I face towards him and as soon as I see the expression and vulnerability in his eyes, my emotions start to crumble and take over me with a strong force. "I'm gonna miss you so much," I say as I feel more tears trickling down my face.

"I'm gonna miss you too, my love. I'll call you and text you as much as I can, I promise."

"Please, can I stay here tonight? I don't want to waste any second without you before you go," I look up to him. Trying to memorize every inch of his face.

"Absolutely, love. You can stay as long as you want. We can watch a movie, have dinner or just talk. Whatever you want to do."

"That sounds perfect," I say as I wipe my tears. "I love you," I add, feeling touched by his care.

"I love you too," he smiles and kisses my forehead.

We then decided to watch a rom-com on the couch and just enjoying each other's presence. Sometimes, Jamie will point out how silly the characters are in the movies and I will laugh and jump to defend their actions. We try to act as normal as we can with the remaining time that we have.

When the day is getting darker, Jamie then prepares a delicious homecooked meal for us. He serves chicken alfredo with garlic bread at the dining table. He even pulls out a red wine from the cabinet and pour it for us. As we eat and enjoy the meal, we talk about all the plans we have that we would like to do when he gets back from London.

"I bet you're gonna be an all professional art teacher by the time I get back," he teases me.

"Well, I'm just trying to survive my first teaching day first so we'll see," I laugh.

"I'm sure you will, love."

I smile gratefully. "And you're gonna do amazingly at your music recordings. I'm so happy for you and I wished I could be there to see you," I look at him proudly.

"Thank you. That means the world to me. And don't you worry, I'll update you on everything, I promise," he squeezes my hand.

A tear that I held back falls down. "We're gonna be okay, right?" my voice trembles as I ask.

Jamie immediately gets up from his seat and moves to kneel next to me. He takes my hands and look straight into my eyes. "Yes, my love. We're gonna be okay. Our love is stronger than any distance could take us. And I promised you before, that we will go through with this together."

I nod, feeling the comfort from his voice. "Okay," I mutter through my tears.

"I'll be back and I want you there waiting for me, okay? Can you do that for me?" He asks me, pushing me to stay strong. "I'll try and finish whatever I need to do and come back straight to you, I promise."

"I will," I nod again.

With another embrace, I feel more comforted and stronger to face what is ahead of us.

As the night grows, we finally sit on the bed. I watch as Jamie does a few final packing onto his suitcase, helping him to remind him what he needs and what he might have forgotten. Jamie appreciates the help while nodding along to everything in his mental checklist.

"I guess that's it," he zips up his suitcase.

We share an understanding look, unspoken sadness in our gaze.

"That's good," I say.

He turns the light off and climbs onto the bed next to me.

"Thanks for all the memories made today," I whisper in the dark.

"We'll make even more in the future, love," he whispers back, holding me tighter.

We then say goodnight to each other as we lay there yet, even with our eyes closed, both of us aren't sleepy at all. We stay there, close to each other sharing an unspoken cherish and care in the dark as the hours pass by.

_____

I couldn't bear to write this chapter because this situation is actually hitting me close to home. That's why it took me a while to post this chapter up.

#fanfic #jamie x female reader #jamie bower #jamie campbell x reader #fanfic fluff #jamie bower fanfic #jamie bower x female reader #jamie bower x reader #jamie bower x y/n #jamie campbell bower

15 notes · View notes

moonxmagix · 1 year ago

Text

A Room Full of Silence

A/N: Hey !! This is not what I usually post so I apologize. I really wanted to write about my feelings of these past few weeks/months. It was such a in the moment story, and was able to get it done in maybe 30 minutes max. Enjoy !

There I sat on the edge of my bed, in the deafening silence of my dimly lit room. It wasn’t clean by any means, clothes scattered, makeup taking up space on my vanity, posters hanging on the wall, some beginning to peel away from aging tape.

I sighed while taking a bite of the donut that was bought for me at the end of the night. Another date, failed. I spent so much time getting ready and dedicating myself to this one person, ignoring anyone who dared to talk to me. Thinking anything would come from it.

If they saw your room, that disinterest would only worsen between us I thought to myself. I got up still in my uncomfortable date clothes tidying up my room. I normally would change as soon as I got home due to my sensory issues but I felt too numb. My body is almost trying to savor the moments of the night.

Clothes were put away, put in the laundry, makeup was organized neatly in draws, posters hung up with new tape, plants were watered. I felt accomplished in my work, I checked the time to see it hit 1AM. My date clothes were put in the wash while I put on my t-shirt that sported my comfort character and pajama bottoms.

My comfort character could never hurt me, they’d be perfect for me. Right? I thought to myself.

I turned the lights off, my fairylights casting a faint glow making it hard but not impossible to see in my room. I took my glasses off and reached for my phone, no messages or new notifications. I sighed, not even a “Hope you got home safe!” text.

I went and searched for the content of my favorite character. Giggles filled the room as my infatuation grew deeper. I decided to check my dating apps and swipe. Finding a few men I thought weren’t too bad.

My alarms blared and I hesitantly arose from my coffin. I did nothing but rot there anyway. I went about my morning and decided to check my dating apps. One guy in particular caught my eye, long brown hair, dead sleepy eyes, skinny, almost dead, just my type I thought. We clicked instantly and our energies bounced off perfectly against one another.

After spending a week talking we decided to meet up at my place for a movie night and some takeout. We matched even better in person, calling me beautiful, telling me how he liked my stretch marks and how they complimented me perfectly. Unable to keep his hands off me for a second, whining when I had to get up even a couple seconds.

I knew this person was different, there was a special bond between us. He left that night and his smell lingered on my pillows, smiling from the joy of another person's touch. But that feeling soon changed, my lips tightened, my nose burned, and tears welled in my eyes.

The second time we hung out, not even a date which is fine I guess. I’ll make an exception for him. Do I dare bring it up? Oh god no, you don’t wanna seem desperate do you? Let him make the moves.

There he stood at my door, dressed in sweatpants and a band t-shirt. Similar to something I’d wear, I talked to him about my sensory issues and he understood surprisingly enough and said he related to me. It was such a sigh of relief not having to explain yourself and the way you acted.

He left again that night, smiling and giggling, smelling, showering, and then crying. At least he told me he had a good night, right?

This is the third time he’s coming over! Maybe I’ll dress up a little more, maybe then he’ll ask me. Right? We cuddled, watched movies, talked about the stuff we love and dream about, we laughed until he spoke, “Just so you know, I’m not looking for anything serious,” my face drops.

The energy shifted and he knew that. “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner. We can still do this though with just no strings attached,” he said, trying to sound remorseful. I just nodded, clenching my jaw to stop myself from crying. “Yeah,” is all I could say, choking back tears.

The rest of the night was tense, not much touching went on. Conversation was dim and held no substance. What did I do wrong? My apartment was clean. My makeup was done up nicely, not too heavy but not too light. Did I say something? Is it because of how I look?

“It’s getting late, I should go,” he said, his words uncomfortable and awkward. I led him to the door, not even taking him fully out like I would usually do. Not a “goodnight”, not a “I’ll see you again”, not a “I had fun”. Just an odd, uncomfortable smile and wave.

I shut the door and locked it, the sounds of the horror movie we were watching filled the room. The screaming and pleading of the victims were comforting to me this particular night. Is it because they were suffering along with me?

I sat at the edge of my bed and sighed. Looking at my disheveled room, I didn't think it could get this messy this quick. The dissociation kicked in, there I sat frozen in place for hours. Unable to do anything with myself.

I pushed myself back into bed, clothes remained scattered scarcely along the floor, posters remained un-taped, food scraps and garbage remained on my nightstand, plants remained unwatered.

But the next one will be different, right?

#creative writing #in my writer era #writer #writing for fun #my feelings are valid #relationships are hard #dating is hard #writing about love #writing about romance #storytelling #story writing #short story #lonliness #late night thoughts

3 notes · View notes

percontaion-points · 11 months ago

Text

Clawless chapters 19 & 20

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 19

I’d always known Jasper was in deep with Vail, but as I headed to the gym the next morning, I had to wonder if his obsession wasn’t tipping him over the edge.

I kind of feel like that ship has already sailed.

She gave a tired laugh. “You think a few classes are going to help me? Thanks, but we know they’re a ruse. Just another of Jasper’s control freak ideas to keep the vulnerable wolves in line.”

Considering that all of the times Vail has been in trouble, knowing how to karate-chop a block of wood (or whatever, I don’t know self-defence moves?) was in no way actually going to help her out. There were usually multiple assailants. And in the case of the lab, Vail was literally drugged and cuffed.

I’m not saying that learning self-defence is a bad thing. But let’s not pretend like it’s a magical cure-all for Vail’s troubles.

Looking directly at the collar for more than a moment was impossible, but close proximity of any kind still stung. Part of me was impressed with the alpha power Jay had pumped into the thing, but the larger part thought he was a fucking lunatic. Vail seemed oblivious to my reaction, or maybe she shared Jay’s sadistic streak, because she planted her feet and wiggled her fingers at me.

Maybe it’s me and my insistence that she isn’t actually a wolf… But if she was a wolf, why can’t she feel the alpha-energy from the collar?

She nodded happily, and there was a devilish glint in her eye as she said, “Wait until I introduce you to the Strangle Hold Alpha. There’s nothing like a little neck submission to teach you who’s boss.”

Chapter 19 summary: The next morning, Reed fumes on his way to the gym. Outside of the locker room, a bunch of freshmen omegas run out and complain that the other girls are basically bullying Vail about her collar. Reed goes in and tells Pearl off. Pearl doesn’t seem to give a shit about Reed’s opinion on what she should and shouldn’t do.

He then pulls Vail into a private practice room, where he finds out that she’s a lot tougher than she seems. And that she has previous fighting experience, which he chalks up to her having grown up in a bad area. However, he insists that fighting like a human isn’t going to help her against a wolf. She tells him a bit about how she fought off the wolves at the start of the book, and Reed feels really sorry for her because she went through that. They continue their lesson.

After, Reed gives her a Marrow pack ruby ring, saying that he would have give it to her at the dinner dance. This leads to the two of them basically making googoo eyes at one another, and Reed reminding himself that he “doesn’t kiss his omegas”. She asks if her collar hurts him, but he says “No as much as it should.”

Chapter 20

“Then prove it!” I grabbed the collar, squeezing the pendant so tight it bit into my skin. “Take it off!”

“I can’t!” He spun back to me, and I was retreating before I could stop myself. “If you stopped and thought about it for one goddamn minute, you’d see I’m doing this for you. And I gave you exactly what you wanted! To take it all away.”

Going back to a Horace the Dead Horse thing here, but if these assholes bothered to fucking tell Vail a goddamned thing, maybe she wouldn’t be in this position.

Instead, they punish Vail for not knowing the rules that they refuse to tell her. There is literally not a single situation in which she can possibly get ahead.

“No more secrets, Vail. And no more letters. You want to invite Marrow onto my lands, you ask me first.”

Chapter 20 summary: After her self-defence class, Vail goes to meet Marnie for lunch. Although they’re now in the same clan, since Marnie is still classified as a dud, the two of them don’t see each other. Vail basically unloads all of the shit she’s been through, and how hard of a time she’s been having. In turn, Marnie tells her that she had a hand wolf-out, which is the most she’s ever shifted.

Vail then goes to her “deportment” class. The teacher is exactly how you’d think Ms. Manners would physically look and act like. She scoffs over Vail not having a partner, and chooses one of the boys at random. However, poor Xavier is having a difficult time thanks to Vail’s collar.

Jasper shows up and quickly shoves Xavier away, and forces Vail to dance with him. After a moment, he sends literally everybody from the room simply so that he and Vail can hash it out. Or rather, Vail can beg for her freedom while Jasper lords it over her. You know, the usual.

He then pins her up against a wall and demands that she show him what she learnt from Reed earlier. And I’m not going to lie: the entire thing is insanely rape-y. Even when the two of them start kissing, I’m like “Do you really want to be kissing him, Vail? He’s literally holding you hostage.” But it seems as though she’s going along with this mainly to try and convince him to take the collar off. Which again, he keeps refusing to do.

Jasper finally shoves the letter she’d tried to write to her grandfather into her face. That if she wants to invite Alpha Marrow to the school, then the invite must go through him first. Because of course he saw it, and he has opinions on it.

#clawless #hunter moon academy #bookblr #readers of tumblr #book review #omegaverse #supernatural romance

0 notes

fallengirlbossyohane · 2 years ago

Text

Aikyan and Rikyako's Alone Time

A few weeks have passed since me and Kyan came to terms with our feelings, and I’ve honestly never felt this realized in my life. It’s as if I’ve achieved the greatest ambition known to the human kind, and naturally I’m truly proud of that. But, there’s still a missing piece that would complete the full picture once for all. We may have said it jokingly, but… I genuinely want to get more intimate with her.

Now that we’re finally official, it shouldn’t feel so awkward, and yet I find myself blushing whenever I think about the more sexual side of our relationship. Plus, I’ve been feeling… clingy, and I’m somewhat afraid that she’ll think I’m becoming annoying. I miss her like crazy when she leaves for work, but I still haven’t mustered up the courage to say it out loud — to neither her or myself. The aching in my heart when she works overtime or has to attend those obnoxious school meetings hurts so much I’d describe it as worse than physical pain — but, that’s just for me.

Click.

Wait — was that the front door, just now? Is she back? I really hope so. I’ve been thinking of… making the first step tonight. I’ve even dutifully prepared beforehand thanks to Aina’s expertise, and I’m confident it’ll be the perfect first time. The two of us went shopping earlier this morning, and after much convincing from Aina’s part, I purchased a set of “high-quality” (that’s how she labeled it) red lingerie, not without feeling ashamed and humiliated as I nervously walked to the counter. An overall new experience I’m sure I’ll never want to try a second time.

“Baby, I’m home.” I hear Aikyan call out from the other side of the wall, and — Gods, I sincerely can’t resist it when that pet name rolls off her tongue. I hate how something so stupidly simple can make my heart flutter as if I were a teenage girl in love. Even if these walls drown out most sounds, I’ve learned to recognize the sound her coat makes when she hangs it, or how the numerous papers in her bag shuffle around as she sets it down. Of course, I’ve also duly learned her step-pattern, and I’m pretty certain she’s making her way to our room.

The door gradually opens, and a thin strip of yellow light illuminates the dark room. I see a pair of curious dark eyes furtively peeking from the tiny crevice. Oh, does she think I’m already asleep? Once she notices me patiently observing her from the bed, her eyes widen in surprise, but her gaze soon softens. She steps inside and gently closes the door behind her, as she motionlessly advances until she reaches the edge of the bed. I smile softly at her from the bottom, and she complies with an entertained grin. From the corner of my eye, I see her right hand beginning to rise, and in a couple of seconds, she’s lovingly running it through my hair, stroking it a few times and patting my head with affection. A contented purr almost escapes my lips.

“Hey, it’s pretty late. Why aren’t you already asleep, hm?”

“I wanted to wait for you. Plus, I had something in mind for tonight…”

Seems like I managed to catch her attention with that statement. Her ears perk up at the news, as she eyes me with interest, and she doesn’t look reluctant. That’s a great start, at least.

“Ah? And what would that be?”

“Well, if you come here, then I can show you properly~”

A bewildered look appears on her face, and the faintest hint of crimson colors her cheeks. She then lets out a throaty laugh and lays comfortably on the bed next to me, her hands wasting no time as they start to wander. She stealthily gets closer to me with a clear intent, as hot puffs of breath directly hit my neck, sending a million shivers down my spine. Kyan tenderly plants a pleasant kiss on my upper-neck and coyly smirks in my skin. I react with an unsolicited but satisfied hum. Fuck, this is getting bad. I’m supposed to be the one in charge here! When she does things like that, though… it makes me weak in the knees and everywhere else.

“You’re getting me pretty excited saying that.”

“I-I know.”

“So? What do you have to show me?”

I remain completely silent, intimidated by her (not so) unusually assertive behaviour, as she expectantly smiles at me, and a remarkably bright idea appears out of nowhere. I anxiously grab her hand, the thought of what I’m about to do making me shudder with both excitement and concern. I then gently place it on my chest, firmly keeping it there in case Kyan wanted to tear it away, and impatiently stare at her with a glimmer of uneasiness, scanning her expression for any signs of eventual disgust or anger. But, no. She just smiles. Wide and genuine, and all I see is another woman who’s madly in love but also afraid to mess everything up — just like me. In that moment, I understand that there’s absolutely no need to be scared — we’re in this together, and working as a pair will surely contribute to making this function in the best way possible.

“Are you… sure you want to…?”

She doesn’t even consider completing the sentence, and instead leaves it hanging in the air, but we’re both painfully aware of how it would have ended. And yes, I’m sure. I’m so sure that I don’t think I’ve ever believed in something with so much passion and devotion. She probably has already figured out the answer by herself, but I know she demands to hear it out loud.

“Let’s do it.”

—

“Fuck, Rikyako, you… where did you even get this thing? It makes your body and curves look so… ugh, I don’t even know how to say it!”

Aikyan looks pretty frustrated at the moment, as her gaze doesn’t move from the red lingerie tightly wrapping my body around like a present, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t funny or cute in the slightest. Just because this is a very special occasion, though, I won’t laugh at her. I’m awfully tempted to, yes, but I won’t. Instead, I’ll answer her question, which seems like a much more civil thing to do.

“Ah, Aina helped me pick it out. Do you like it…?”

“It’s outstanding on you, baby. Guess pink isn’t your only color. So, little Ainya helped, uh? How kind of her.”

“Listen, I adore Aina, don’t get me wrong, but please don’t bring her up when we’re about to… h-have sex…”

My tone gets shy as I go on, and I barely manage to blurt out those last few troublesome words without whispering them under my breath. She shifts closer to me, moving the covers a bit so that we can have our own comfortable space, and as she “harmlessly” rests one hand on my thigh, I feel my head getting lighter — even more so when she begins to purposely stroke my inner-thigh. Once again, while getting on top of me, she leans closer to my ear, biting it ever-so-gently. This time, a quiet moan finds its way out of my lips.

“Hey,” She starts, her low voice vibrating against the shell of my ear. “… just because you look good with it on, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take it off. Actually… want me to help with that?”

I silently nod at her proposal and embrace her even tighter, nervously resting my forehead against her shoulder. Her hands gently caress my body all over with care, her slender fingers slithering under my bra as she begins to tenderly knead and fondle my chest. The feeling leaves me pathetically whimpering in her shoulder, which does a good job at muffling my cries of pleasure. Kyan finally unhooks my bra after I beg her to and tosses it somewhere in the room, resuming her “massage” with more vigour.

“You’re so beautiful, Aida… your skin is so soft, too…”

Her dark eyes are glazed with pure lust, and she seems totally out of it, but I’m sure that if I’d have a mirror in front of me right now, I’d look even worse than her. It’s the effect that stupid smirk and those stupid dominant ways of hers have on me. She suddenly sticks out her tongue and brings her head lower, proceeding to roll it around my nipple teasingly, never actually licking it. I desperately grab her black locks, inciting her to get on with it. She doesn’t protest much and agrees, eagerly sucking on it, keeping her hand busy with my other breast in the meanwhile.

“A-ah~ like that Aikyan, ngh…”

At this point, I’m panting in the air and moaning without any shame, waiting for that moment, when her exquisitely long fingers will finally be put to a better use than simple hugs and pats. I lovingly stroke her head in an attempt to tell her just how good she’s making me feel, and she purrs contentedly against my chest. She then releases my breast with a pop! and leaves a long trail of kisses until she reaches my neck. Kyan begins playing with the waistband of the lower part of the lingerie, amusedly chuckling to herself when I noticeably shiver under her touch.

“Ready, baby?”

“Y-yeah.” I respond breathlessly, my eye-lids feeling so unusually heavy that I let my eyes close for a few moments. She pulls the (very wet) garments down with a swift move and leaves them hanging around my ankles. I’m now very aware of the cold temperature in the room, but her hand getting dangerously close is quick to make me forget it.

I audibly gasp when two of her fingers circle my clit in a painfully slow manner. Her pace remains the same for a few seconds — just enough for me to get accustomed to the new feeling — before she speeds up her movements and adds more pressure, making me hiss at how amazing she is. She even begins to suck on the delicate skin of my neck, leaving behind some pretty evident hickeys. Aina will never stop teasing me about this, if she ever finds out.

“Like that, Rikyako?”

“H-hm…”

“Want me to go faster?”

“Ah… y-yes, please…”

“Good girl.”

Good girl? Where did you even learn that, Kyan? I won’t complain — it heightens my perception of pleasure, so…

I’m now clawing at her back, running my nails across the soft fabric of her shirt, daring to tear her shirt into shreds from the sheer strength I’m putting into holding onto her for support. As her fingertips press down on and rub my clit over and over again, making me squeeze my thighs around her arm, I can only whimper right beside her ear, letting her know how good she is with her fingers. My body is getting hotter with each passing second, making sweat trickle down my skin, and my vision is pretty much blurred, but it doesn’t matter. All I can focus on is Aikyan’s soothing voice.

“Are you close, baby?”

“M-mhn…”

“Go on, close your eyes and come for me, Rikyako.”

“A-Aikyan…!”

I bury my face in the crook of her neck and let out an obscene, drawn-out moan, cheekily biting her neck and praying to the Gods it won’t leave teeth-marks. Waves of white-pleasure violently crash down on me, one after the other, making my limbs tense up as I erratically grind against Kyan’s wrist in an attempt to make it last longer than intended. I’m quick to ride it out, my whole body going limp in an instant, and I allow myself to sink into the sheets. As that certain post-orgasm tingling sensation begins to fade, leaving me in a blissful state of relaxation, I let out a sigh and loosen my deathly grip on her clothes. Kyan nuzzles the top of my head and caresses my inner-thigh, whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

“Are you alright? Do you need some water?”

“No, thanks. I’m fine.”

My voice sounds breathless, drained of all energy, but I’d say it’s understandable — I’ve just had the most mind-blowing orgasm in my entire life. Plus, tiredness is slowly getting the best of me, making it hard to move my body or even string together any coherent thoughts. Kyan lays besides me with the proudest smile on her face, holding me close to her chest, reminding me of a puppy who needs attention. I give in and get lost into her Red Rose-incense scent.

“I’ll need to cover up this… bite, tomorrow. Fuck, that hurt…”

“Yeah, sorry about that… but, in my defense, I was getting railed by a certain someone, so —“

“Ok, ok! I get it, no need to word it like that… also, you seem pretty tired. Sleep well, hm? I’ll wake you up tomorrow morning, so don’t worry.”

“Well… I don’t think I can go to University like this; I can’t even feel my legs…”

“I-I see… then, how about we go out on a date somewhere? We can have a good time and all. I’ll even pay.”

“Hm, sounds good.” I then snuggle closer into her breasts. Comfy, five stars — would recommend (if I weren’t so jealous of other women… or men, too. Anyone in general, really). “Sorry, Aikyan… I’m falling…”

“It’s ok, you need some rest. Goodnight, Rikyako.” Kyan’s chuckle is the last thing I hear before I succumb to a pleasant slumber. Night, Kyan. I love you.

#cnrk #rikako aida #aika kobayashi #smut #fanfic

0 notes

thegraphitepencils · 4 months ago

Text

Okay so!

Girl I went on that date with was having a bad night last night so she asked if she could drive me home from synagogue just to get out of the house. A synagogue friend finalized her conversion !!! and I got invited to her celebratory dinner after services, so I asked Girl if she wanted to come along and she did.

In addition to getting to hang with synagogue friends, and Girl, I made a NEW friend who just started going to synagogue and we talked for a really long time about plants and pets and chronic illness stuff, and we exchanged facebooks and we’re gonna talk more :))

Also today Monty went to a new queer poetry mixer! There were only two other people there, a senior gay couple, one of them being a researcher who’s compiling a bibliography of local published poets. They left early, but gave us their contact info to get involved with the sort of “know someone who knows someone” local poets & meetings!! So Monty will get to start doing all that. (Also this was his first time introducing himself as Monty in public!!)

ALSO we went to a very nice little charity thrift store in town and they’re looking for part-time sorters! The days they’re hiring are days we don’t have therapy so we have more wiggle room in our schedule, and we’ve gotten healthy enough I think we could handle that. I asked for an application (after getting a book on a niche historical topic I’m researching for a novel WIP !!!) and we’ll fill that out after Shabbos. The lady had said “we need all the help we can get” so I think I have a good chance!

ALSO!! Gonna start COLLEGE!!! We have some good people helping us with the research and application process for that, and I have high hopes for my dream city’s public university.

I just. I’m really glad we’re opening ourselves up again. Finding more people, more community, more opportunities. Things keep lining up in a way that feels gorgeously right.

Blue (whimsigoth witch alter) had decided on the new moon that we’d make this lunar cycle one of self-love and internal improvement. To overcome the feelings of lovelessness and abandonment by loving ourselves and showing up for ourselves. That we’d rewire our brain, clear out negative beliefs, so the presence or absence of an external person can’t affect how we feel about ourself.

I agreed to go along with it, despite my doubts and bone-deep self-loathing. We privately started calling it a Girl Exorcism (gender neutral), working with each other and a few additional system members to craft morning & night routines, start exercising, make sure we’re eating well and enough, and immediately counter any negative self talk with positive affirmations.

It started out exhausting. We kept going anyway.

And two weeks later, it’s fucking working. We’re finding so many events and opportunities, making new friends, gaining social skills, getting healthier mentally & physically, thinking of ourself as beautiful & smart & capable, and figuring out our life’s purpose and actually taking steps to get there. It’s kind of a miracle.

We are by no means cured or over The Breakup. I’m still hurt. I’m still grieving. I’m still feeling a little adrift not having my fp to plan our future with. But I’m getting to feel emotions beyond that as well, and much more often. And I’m valuing myself, my time, my love and my life. I’m listening to my heart, setting boundaries, finding joy without a relationship.

I’d felt like I was never going to get here. Like I just would be miserable until he took me back again, and then miserable in a different way but at least feel wanted.

I don’t think that anymore. I do think I can be happy with my own company, my headmates’ company, and the company of good friends. And, most astounding of all, I think I deserve all that.

Major shoutout to @lingonberryjamistakenwhat for getting me through some of the darkest nights as I’ve been finding my footing. I’m so glad G-d and the blue hellsite brought us together. Thank you for being an amazing friend.

Tonight was really good. I’ll post more about it tomorrow but I feel like I’m finally starting to actually live life, and finding a way to do it in which I make connections and community while maintaining my own sense of self and not feeling like my will to live is entirely reliant on another person’s love for me.

I could go back to my old ways the very moment I form a new fp connection, but I think even then I’ll maintain some of this progress, and either way I’m letting myself feel proud for a moment.

#-riley #the breakup #hope u don’t mind the tag!

3 notes · View notes

hoodiewithhorns · 4 years ago

Text

━ using your safeword scenarios p.3 !★

genre : hurt/comfort smut.

characters : f! reader x sakusa, matsukawa, kenma

p.1 + p.2 + m.sterlist + requests

(please read the rules before requesting ty.)

▼ cw : not proof read, use of safeword, neglect , unprotected sex, degradation , clit spanking ( 1 ), impact play ( sakusas part ), mentions of exe(s), caught masturbation (reader) , pillow humping, thigh riding, implied punishment, kinda crybaby reader, implied cockwarming, cheating (?), angst, established relationship, all characters are 18+, MDNI ▲

different safewords used this time <3

- ty to the anons and user @/please-take-me-to-the-moon for the scenarios <3

sakusa

word count : 1.4k

you knew better than to do this, humping your dearly beloved boyfriends pillow with just your cotton panties, a loose shirt with no bra under, like a bitch in heat, desperate for friction of any kind. You knew if he had caught you like this he would punish you that was guaranteed. however, in the literal heat of the moment you didn’t care. sakusa’s constant pattern of coming home the minute you were already fast asleep in your shared bed, never being able to fill the void of need in your little cunt.

〜　☆

Considering he’d let this slide since its been a month since you’ve two have done anything sexual, these thoughts only making you hump his pillow even more desperate leaving a pool of your arousal staining his pillow, with the occasional soft whimpers of his name. losing yourself in your own lust, You didn’t hear the sound of the door clicking open.

Sakusa, leaving his practice early since his performance was unfavorable by the shitty mood he was in, lashing out on his teammates for the smallest things they’d do and so many more. in short, his team suggested he’d stay home t’ill he cooled down.

“y/n? i’m home.”he walked around the empty apartment accompanied by the muffles of your soft moans, trying to find you as quickly as possible, obviously knowing it was you. he opened the bedroom door slowly and quietly. his eyes grew wide at the scene in front of him.

still not noticing his presence in the door frame you continued humping his pillow feeling your high approach, but leave you since you needed him.

“tch.” clicking his tongue at you in disapproval. you flinched letting go of his pillow to face him, feeling your heart race when you made eye contact with him, arms folded and a look of disgust planted on his pale face. Your eyes already filling up with tears knowing what comes next. “m’ y-yoomi! w-welcome home-”

“who the fuck gave you permission to touch yourself?” cutting you off, walking towards the bed, he pinned you down to the bed, arms on your sides, hovering over you with his dead, cold, heartless gaze cutting through you, as you tried to look away in shame only earning you a slap to the face to make you look at him. the sting causing you to choke out a sob. praying internally that he’d let you off the hook just this once. you were just needy for him.he has to understand that, right?

“answer me, right.now.”

“n-no one yoomi... i’m s-sorry please don’t wanna be punished!” you pleaded to him only making him more angrier. he grabbed your jaw making you whimper at the tight grip. scanning you top to bottom, eyeing at the wet patch on your underwear.

“then why did you huh? couldn’t wait until i got home couldn’t you? needy fucking thing.” he tutted, letting go of your jaw harshly, tugging your panties down to your knees already feeling impatient himself by how his cock hardened through his shorts. despite wanting to punish you, he wanted you. needed you to be precise.

the man hasn’t felt you in a whole month how could he not miss his girlfriends tight slutty cunt? removing his volleyball shorts letting his cock spring free, he strokes himself a few times before lining himself against your cunt, letting a small sigh when you felt his hard tip touch your soaked entrance.

feeling slightly relief you were finally gonna feel him after so long. That feeling of relief however didn’t last long when he slammed his fat cock inside you without warning. you let out a yelp, hands immediately going to his chest hoping for him to not bruise your cervix from how deep he was already. he growled when he felt your palms try and stop him, so he slapped your hands away roughly marking them red.

“b-but yoomi please it hurts..it h-hurts”

you figured he didn’t hear you. but he was too focused on punishing you to care if it hurt or not. so you pleaded again for him to slow down. finally getting a response from him.

“shut up you disgusting whore.you brought this on yourself, touching yourself while your boyfriends away.”

“...dirtying up his fucking pillow while he’s gone. how fucking pathetic.” he spits, slapping your clit harshly in attempt to get you to shut up. his degrading not having a hint of reassurance anywhere like it usually does when he fucks you. normally, he’d call you his “slut” or his whore but never ever calling you a disgusting one at most, what did this mean?..you asked yourself, mind going hazy with fear. feeling like your boyfriend finds you disgusting for your actions, and not a single trace of love or concern for you, not even noticing how you tried inching yourself away from his pace.

sakusa was a mean dom yes, but he cared about you and your boundaries and right now it seemed like he didn’t care about any of those.

too focused on his own pleasure, not realizing you slowly started to breakdown in front of him, hands to your eyes shaken from how hard he hit them, as more tears fell to stain your cheeks.

“n-no not disgusting..i-i’m...so sorry..sakusa..just missed you.” you muttered no longer feeling the long needed pleasure of his cock, only feeling a painful discomfort in your chest as if your heart was gonna burst out of it at any minute. he was caught off-guard by you calling him by his last name, but that didn’t stop the brutal pace on your sloppy cunt. repositioning his hand to your hips digging his nails in your sides, bound to leave marks to be seen in the morning.

“addressing me by my last name? what you think thats gonna make things better?”he muses, his pace speeding up making you whimper. you’ve just about had enough.

“germs! g-germs! no more, i don’t like this!! y-you’re hurting m-me sakusa... please s-stop..stop.” screaming your safeword, trying to get him off you, you pushed with the little strength in you with your fragile hands. it wasn’t enough but he got the message. blinking a few times to make sure he processed the current situation.

he sighed pulling his cock out watching you with wolf eyes as you softly cried to yourself, turning to your side. he didn’t say anything he just laid down beside you. sneaking an arm around your waist, face buried in your neck. he planted some soft kisses onto it trying to make you relax. if he was being brutally honest, he didn’t know what to do.

you never used your safeword and even if it didn’t show in his face, he was pretty frightened. watching you tense up and shake around him all because of him.

“ y-yoomi..im sorry-”

“don’t be.”

he rubs your hands with his thumb in slow but comforting circles, seeing its still red from being slapped away by him, along with him kissing your cheek to simmer down the sting from earlier. god he felt so bad, but was so scared at the same time, all he wanted to do was hold you close..

..and thats what he did, watching you curl up to his chest. The room was silent for a few minutes that felt like hours gone by. you looked up at him with the look you always gave him. Full of love and adoration even with puffy eyes and hurt in your chest you still loved him.

He looked down noticing the soft smile you gave him as if nothing happened. Titling his head in confusion he asks

“why are you smiling? aren’t you upset..at me?”

you shook your head at him, “no yoomi I’m not mad. My body kinda hurts yes, but I’m glad to have you home...i missed you so much I’m sorry i touched myself without permission...”

he lightly smiles at you kissing your lips softly.

“it’s okay. tomorrow we’ll have the day all to ourselves and we can do whatever you want my love. I’m sorry i was so mean... i was having a bad day and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

you paused leaning in closer to his chest as you mumbled.

“can we...take a bath together yoomi?”

“oh sure...here i’l carry you.”

needless to say, you forgave him and gave him one last kiss before going to bed.

kenma

word count : 886

kenmas work schedule was god awful since he was practically up to play games and just that leaving you feeling needy and neglected. you hated it.

but tonight you were just, so needy and couldn’t stand this constant neglect.

No matter how many times you touched yourself of grind against something it couldn’t compare to the way kenma would stuff you with his cock.

he wasn’t a super harsh dom leaning towards a mix of soft and mean, but he still prioritized your needs before his. and tonight you were gonna get that version of kenma.

walking towards the couch he was playing his games at slowly, with nothing but his hoodie and knee highs. you bit your lip standing in front of him, fiddling your thumbs out of nervousness. He titled his head to remove you from his line of sight to see the tv screen better making your heart ache just a little, being so used to it already.

taking a deep breath you sat in between on of his thighs wrapping your arms around his neck making him let out a groan of annoyance to your needy antics.

he continued to play his game acting as if you weren’t there and nothing changed. it all came to a halt when he felt you grinding on his thigh, letting out small cries of his name.

“baby.... please” you mumbled facing his disinterested face not even sharing a glance at you as he continued to move his thumbs around his controllers joystick. He didn’t even pay mind to the fact you were borderline naked either.

“five minutes pretty girl.” he muttered still too absorbed in his game. You pouted shifting your legs to be wrapped around him now, wet cunt on top of his crotch rubbing against him lightly. Making him flinch at the sudden friction. giving you hope he’d give you what you want now. you smirked continuing to grind against him making him bite back a grunt.

“ugh what are you doing?” he said clearly annoyed by your antics already.

your face became red while placing your hands on his shoulders slowly starting to grind against his growing bulge. “want your attention kenma please need you so bad.” you begged hoping he’d give you something anything really.

but being kenma, he went back to his video games. your pout returning once more. “but kenma, please i really really need you.” you continued with your antics and he paused his game, putting his controller on the coffee table.

“fine you want me so fucking bad?” he grabs you by the hips making you yelp as he throws you down the couch. back hitting the cushions while he takes your legs and wraps them around his waist.

he pulls down his sweats pumping himself a few times as he rolls his head back, holding back his grunts. he slowly slides his cock into you, being easy to do considering how wet you were already for him.

he groans as he bottoms out inside you starting steady, but slowly picking up the pace to be more..brutal.

“k-kenma..m’ feels good thank you thank you” you rambled out praises making him grab you by the throat to thrust into you faster.

“god you’re so fucking annoying bothering me because you wanted to get your cunt stuffed like a little slut while i fucking work.” he scoffs making your eyes shoot open at him.

“such a fucking annoying little slut.” he continues his degradation thr grip on your throat not loosening. you felt you eyes grow teary as he continued to call you more vulgar names with the sprinkle of him calling you annoying.

“ c-console...” you mumbled wrapping your hands on his wrists, making him let go of your throat. he froze getting closer to your face as he pulls out slowly.

“huh? Whats wrong does it hurt?” he asks rubbing away your tears with the pad of his thumb.

your lip quivered as more tears started to form. “...i-im annoying...?” you looked him in his eyes as more broken sobs leave you.

“I just wanted some attention kenma...you’re always so busy sometimes I don’t even think you remember i exist..” you muttered feeling small under his cat like stare.

he sighed kissing your cheek, falling to your. side feeling his breath hit your neck. “sorry baby i swear i didn’t mean it...you’re not annoying its my fault for not giving you attention.” he admits as you wrap around him.

“y-you promise you didn’t mean it?” you ask once more. he sneaks a hand under your head to lift you up to his chest, patting your head softly.

“ i promise. here why don’t you sit on my lap, we can do that thing you wanted to try last week...” he looks away embarrassed, you tilt your head in confusion but then realize what he was referring to. you nodded joyfully wrapping your arms around his neck, he adjusts himself for you to line up to take him. he slowly puts you back down on his cock. hissing at the returning feeling.

He smiled kissing your forehead lightly as he hugged you tight.

“better my love?”

“mhm mhm!” you said placing your head on his shoulder as you relax into him. slowly drifting away into sleep. its not much, but at-least it stuffs your very needy cunt.

matsukawa

word count : 615

what lead to this? you two were just on a simple date together at a nearby mall shopping together, looking at upcoming movies, stopping by a few manga stores and bakeries to treat yourselves. overall, just enjoying the time shared together.

that is t’ill the two of ran into your ex. issei watching the two of you talk to each other not realizing how uncomfortable you really were, hiding it with a friendly facade of course going unnoticed by him since he was practically death glaring your ex.

he was basically third wheeling in your conversation with your ex. you would side eye issei hoping he’d pull you out of your situation but it was too late since his mind was cloudy with jealousy and rage.

now, leading up to your current predicament. a heavy make-out now leading to a degradation fest.

“aw whats wrong little slut can’t take me, fucking pathetic much?” he teases pounding you at a faster pace. “can’t believe my own fucking girlfriend was just there being all friendly to her ex..what don’t tell me you still want him?” he muses making you rapidly shake your head.

“ no i don’t i swear issei..just wan’ you..”you muttered eyes growing puffy from how cruel he spoke to you as he continued to suggest away of how would get him back since it seemed like you missed him from how friendly you were acting.

growing quiet at his words trying to tune out his words. it’ll all be over soon anyways, you just had to hold on a bit you told yourself. of course you were an idiot for letting him keep going.

“ maybe i should go ask how kimi’s doing act all friendly and nice towards her.” you tuned into what issei had said in horror at what he just said.

kimi, his much prettier ex who t’ill this day wasn’t over him and he knew this. throwing it in your face as he darkly chuckled at you. you removed your arms that were wrapped around his neck pulling him close. and cupped your face in your hands at the thought of your boyfriend going back to his ex. leaving you alone again.

he wouldn’t right? even though she was much prettier in every feature she had compared to you. he wouldn’t right..? right?

“f-funeral...“you sniffled making him stop all his movements and lock eyes with you. your safeword ringing in his ears.

“hey..hey no i didn’t mean it...” he quickly pulls you towards him, pulling you out of him and hugging you tight. he rocks you softly back and forth in his embrace letting all your bottle up feelings burst onto him. he quick to comfort you and pepper a few kisses on your face.

“ issei..” you mumbled against his chest. he rubs your back looking down at you.

“yes baby..?” his voice shaken with worry hoping you weren’t too mad at him.

“ i-i don’t miss him.. i was only being nice..i was uncomfortable talking to him why didn't you..” he internally punches himself for being so blind and not being able to see by all your movements how uncomfortable you were just breathing the same air as your ex.

he was too blinded by his jealousy to realize his poor baby was scared. he mumbled a curse before apologizing.

“i’m sorry baby i didn’t realize he was making you uncomfortable i should've done something..” his eyes wander away from you.

“ i was just jealous..” he admits

“but issei.. you’re all i want.” you say kissing his cheek and he smiles gracefully.

“am i-i all you want sei?”

“ duh pretty baby. everything i want and need.”

matsukawas is so short i’m so sorry ahhhh but i hope u all enjoyed <3

1K notes · View notes

kaitsawamura · 4 years ago

Text

would you like to stay forever?

SUMMARY⎮ Sparring with Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro in his private gym at his home doesn't seem like a bad idea if you don't count the fact that you really, really like him.

STATS⎮ minors do not interact, 18+ ⎮ Rating: M (for mature) ⎮ WC: 5525 ⎮ Pairing: Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro x Fem!Reader ⎮ Tags: Aged Up Character(s), Friends to Lovers, Sparring, Smut, Fluff, Age/Experience Gap (if you really squint) ⎮ AO3

NOTES⎮ Thanks to @spacelabrathor for listening to me scream about this and to @some-kindofgnome for fueling my Kiri fever dreams. Yes, that title is based on a Mulan quote. This whole fic was based on THIS POST and Kirishima seemed like the perfect character for this pwp. Hope y'all enjoy! (Also please for the love of God, click on the banner to see in HD if you’re on mobile, it looks so much better lol)

It was Saturday and even though you’re on your way to becoming a Pro Hero, you can think of several things you’d rather be doing with your one day off than going to Kirishima Eijiro’s house to spar. But here you are pulling into his driveway, going over combat moves in your head as if your life depended on it. They weren’t really serving their purpose which was to distract yourself. Kiri had offered up his personal gym, encouraged you to stop by with one hand in his pocket and the other rubbing the back of his neck as if he was nervous.

A couple of his friends had already taken him up on the offer. You were the only one he’d offered who hadn’t come over yet. He had texted you a couple of weeks later saying he was starting to take it personally… and then immediately texted with a laughing emoji just to clarify he was only giving you a hard time. It brings a smile to your face now as you remember it. Yesterday he had also clarified it would just be the two of you if you were self-conscious sparring in front of other people. You’d have the whole place to yourselves. Like that should mean something. Which it did. It does , you realize with butterflies growing in your stomach. Kiri doesn’t need to know that though.

The two of you had been toeing around something since you had been hired at Fatgum’s Agency a year ago. Neither of you had made a move. Kirishima, the Red Riot, was a big Pro Hero and while you took pride in your quirk, it didn’t hold a coin to some of the others you’d come in contact with. It had surprised you when Toyomitsu had brought you on. But he had mumbled something about “liking your spunk” and that he thought a teleportation quirk would be a useful one to add to his agency. The first day you had shown up, Kiri had immediately caught your eye. Not for the obvious reasons. Obvious reasons being the fact that he was climbing the Pro Hero charts or the fact that he had a dynamically interesting quirk or that at twenty-five he was already built like a brickhouse.

Those were all valid reasons, yes, but what had pulled you in was his smile and his genuine interest in you outside of your quirk. But he was just like that you had quickly discovered. He knew everyone’s coffee order and what they liked for lunch. He knew when to push and when to back off. He knew when to talk and when to listen , knew when he still had a lesson to learn. The kids flocked to him. Even now you’re still entirely convinced that’s actually his quirk, getting people to like him. It’s not a difficult thing to do though.

Your brain stutters back to the present when a text notification pings from your cell phone as you sit in Kiri’s driveway, picking at non-existent lint on your gym shorts. The cute ones you’re still convincing yourself were your only clean pair and that’s the only reason you wore them.

KIRI : i saw u pull up, u gonna come in or what 😂

Had he been waiting for you to get there? You tapped out a quick response, one that hid the little flip in your stomach at the thought: creeper, you were watching for me lmao

Response bubbles immediately flash on your phone screen but you’re angling out of your car and shutting the door before he can reply.

Somehow, this house fits Kiri perfectly. It isn’t big. You had seen pictures of other top-ranking Pros’ houses. Enji Todoroki’s house, for example, was fucking ridiculous. But even without a massive floor plan, Kiri’s house is nicer than any you’d been in for some time. Clean, straight lines and lots of windows. In fact, you can see straight through the floor-to-ceiling windows out to his backyard when you reach the front door. Is that a pool ? Kiri had tons of fun showing pictures at the agency; it was a well-deserved investment for his already multiple years of service as a Pro. The pictures hadn’t done the place justice though.

Kiri comes to the door, throwing it wide open with a huge grin that shows off his sharp teeth. You ignore the way your mouth goes dry as he drags you in, babbling on like an excited little kid at you actually coming.

“I really thought you were gonna back out! I mean, that would have been fine, of course. I just can’t see the point of having the whole place to myself all the time.” He’s irresistibly cute, walking around showing you the living room and the kitchen and pointing out to the backyard where, yes, there is indeed a pool. “You can come over any time and use that too if you want!” You thank him, warmth pooling in your stomach at how incredibly nice he is.

“Uh, we should probably get in the gym. I have… stuff to do later,” you finish lamely. You don’t have anything to do later but very quickly you’re realizing how far out of your depth you are here. The familiar beginnings of the head over heels fall is washing over you in steady waves. But you’re coworkers and the thought of coming to work every day and having to see his adorable face and not doing anything about it is almost making you nauseous.

“Oh, yeah, it’s just down the hallway,” he rumbles, leading the way and you follow trying and failing miserably to calm the nerves flashing through your veins. You’re here alone with Kiri , the man you’ve been crushing on since you’d started working with him a year ago. And now your stupid brain isn’t just thinking about what it would feel like to run your tongue along his teeth or how his hands would feel between your legs. No, your stupid brain is thinking about what Kiri looks like when he first opens his eyes in the morning.

Your one-track mind is not getting any help, especially when Kiri walks through the doorway of the gym addition and immediately proceeds to pull his shirt up and over his shoulders and tosses it to the side. Shit. His back muscles ripple with the movement and when he turns to face you, it’s heart-wrenchingly obvious that he has no idea the effect he’s having on you. He has to know . Doesn’t he? From your end, it seems wildly obvious that someone as good-looking as him should know .

You glance around, eternally grateful for the fact that the gym is also attractive. Floor to ceiling windows span two of the walls here as well and there’s a large set of French doors leading out to the yard. You find yourself actually in awe when you get a better look at the landscaping. It’s so green . There’s a small patch of lawn but the rest is just artfully arranged native flora and fauna. Violets, tulips. Huge hosta plants. And cherry trees heavy with their signature sakura blossoms.

“Kiri, it’s beautiful!” He comes to stand beside you, looking out the French doors as well.

“You like it? I guess it is pretty nice, huh?” You glance up at him, your chest expanding on a lurch looking at his smile. You’d never noticed before but he has a light dusting of freckles across his nose.

“Yeah, really nice.” You look out again, letting the silence grow until it feels like the most comfortable thing in the world. After what seems like an eternity Kiri clears his throat, rocking back on the balls of his feet. “What are you thinking for today?” The question leaves your lips and you’re immediately regretting it; your stomach flips again when Kiri looks at you like you’re prey.

“Close combat, hand-to-hand combat. You did mention a while ago you wanted to strengthen that, right?” You throw your head back, rolling your eyes, and groan. The two of you make your way to the center of the mat.

“Yeah, I mean, I’d be scared to take me on too,” Kiri says, large hands on even larger hips. He isn’t as tall as some of the other heroes at six foot three inches but he’s wide , thick. You know for a fact you couldn’t wrap your arms around his waist and have your hands meet. He’s wearing the biggest shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen. The sharpened points of his canines are out and on prominent display. Famous last words you think as a snarl erupts on your face.

“I’m not scared , Kiri. I just don’t want to wear you out . You’re a Pro Hero. You’re on the job a lot more than I am. Plus, you’re getting kind of old. Is that a little gray I see coming in?” Kiri bares his teeth even more but it’s not lost on you that he quickly reaches up to rake his fingers through his hair. There isn’t any gray, obviously , but the thought has Red Riot distracted. Distracted enough that when you plant your feet and your fist connects with his face, your knuckles hit skin and not the reinforced rock of his quirk.

“ Shit.” Kiri takes a step back, reaching up to cradle his jaw. His tongue swipes out to lick at the blood on his bottom lip. His vermillion eyes find yours and if you didn’t work with him on a regular basis, you would have felt fear at this moment. You know he wouldn’t hurt you but even now, a thrill races through your veins like electricity. He looks as if he’s going to devour you. You take your own step back, readying your quirk, reaching out to it as your fists hold their position in front of your body. A dark chuckle spills from his chest as Kiri calls on his own quirk.

Now it was your turn to be distracted; you had always been fascinated by Kiri’s quirk, the way his body looked when it hardened up. The ripples of muscle still visible under the toughened skin. The divots and ridges and how they mapped their way across his shoulders and chest and abdomen. You knew how it felt to the touch in fake combat. The Fatgum heroes all took pride in maintaining a healthy routine; sparring was a common workout that was previously done at a local public gym. You wonder absently what it would feel like to touch him slow and at the moment. When you could give extra attention with extra time.

Kiri closes the space between the two of you at the moment your mind strays and you barely are able to teleport out of the way to avoid him crashing into you. You try to take a swipe at him as you materialize from in front of him to behind but this time he’s ready for you and he’s using his quirk. Instead of moving out of the way, he plants his feet and allows your punch to hit. Pain radiates up through your fingers and wrist. It always irritated you that you had to prepare yourself to strike Kiri when he was using his quirk. Otherwise, you’d be in for a whole lot of hurt every time you landed a punch.

Teleportation is a pretty handy quirk. It gives you a pretty good advantage the more you work on your close combat skills. The trick with Kiri was to keep going at him until he ran out of energy. You hadn’t gotten to that point yet; your quirk had its limits as well. You were only two years out of UA, Kiri was out by seven. His strength was already fairly unmatched; sparring with him was always good practice. You relish the thought of the day you can win a sparring session without tapping out. It surges through you like pure energy.

You teleport to stand in front of him again, shifting your weight into your hips and up through your right hook. This time your fist connects with Kiri’s side and he lets out a small grunt. Your fingers don’t hurt so bad this time and by the time Kiri is retaliating, you jump back a few feet. He hmms, a sound that reverberates from his chest.

“That’s all well and good but how do you expect to do anything if you jump that far away?” He lunges forward at a running start, leaping at the last second, sending his gloved fist into your stomach. You were fast, but still not always fast enough. You double over, the air rushing from your lungs and your pre-workout protein smoothie threatening to exit back the way it went in. Sweat is already beading on your brow and sliding under your tank top. You take a few breaths through your nose when an idea pops into your head; you stay bent over. “Hey, I didn’t hit you that hard. You good?”

Kiri comes to stand in front of you, leaving him vulnerable. He can’t see your smirk until it’s too late. You wail on him, using some of the basic combos he’s taught you before today. Satisfaction rolls through you when he actually takes a step back. But then he puts his arms up in front of him, clenching his abdomen and bending inward to protect his core. He drops just a fraction and before you realize what’s happening, he’s swiping his leg out to push through yours. You watch in slow motion as you see his laughing face then the ceiling of the gym as you flip and land on your back.

If you thought you were out of breath before… “Fuuu-.” It’s a wheeze that feels like it’s ripping your chest open. You’re seeing stars. Kiri stands over you, hands on his hips again. You stare at his face; the hero has his hair pulled back into a bun. You snort, rolling your eyes. Why does he still look so fucking good? The sweat has caused some of the pieces falling out of his hair tie to curl. His hair has curl to it? You’ve never noticed before, considering he always gels it into spikes. You like the curl. “Are you--are you gonna help me up, or what?” It was still painful to talk.

Kiri tilts his head to the side, just slightly, and crosses his arms. “I’m thinking not. Last time I let down my guard you got those good combos in.” You stare in stunned silence, sitting up so you’re supported by your elbows. Kiri shifts slightly and if you didn’t know better, you’d say he’s backing up to… get a better view.

“Is that any way to treat your student, Red Riot?” You know you get under his skin when he clicks his tongue against his teeth and holds out a hand with a begrudging eye roll. He pulls you up with ease, quickly enough that you almost lose your balance, swaying into his space. You look up, eyes moving back and forth between his.

He draws in a breath and drags his bottom lip between his teeth. “First of all,” he says as he places his hands on your upper arms, “I’m not your teacher. I’m not that much older than you. Secondly,” he mutters as he tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear, “our relationship isn’t that formal is it?” He’s so fucking close. This is getting dangerous. Dangerous because Kiri is within kissing distance. Dangerous because this gentle side of him is making you lose more breath than falling on your ass. Dangerous because the thought of Kiri taking you on the floor right now is almost too much to bear.

So you fall back on what you’re here to do. Fight. You flash him a wicked smile before rallying your quirk and teleporting a few feet away. His hand is still raised in mid-air and when his head whips to look in your direction, his crimson eyes are narrowed and his nostrils are flared. He laughs and rolls his neck, dancing on his toes.

“Okay. I see. I’m not gonna go easy on you, you know?” You snort and put your fists up in front of you again.

“As if you were going easy on me before, Kiri. Bring it on.” He smiles, the sharp points of his teeth enough to make your thoughts swerve again before you bring them under control. “Bring it on,” you whisper more to yourself as you brace for the fight.

Two hours later, you feel the strain in your muscles. Your quirk is running low on reserves and you know you won’t be able to use it much more. Kiri looks like he hasn’t wasted a breath but you can see he’s getting tired in the way his feet don’t move as sharply. And if the length of time he’s using his quirk is any indication to his state of mind, you know the two of you will be calling it a day soon. But you’re also both stubborn. And you’re dying to get one more good move in on him.

The cockiness the two of you had at the beginning of the sparring session hasn’t gone away but has burned hot into determination. No more smiles, only clear-headed concentration. The two of you are an arm's length from each other, throwing various punches and switching quickly between using your quirks and not. You’re breathing hard, sweat gathering at your brow as you throw another right hook that Kiri easily blocks.

“Get out of your head. You can be too predictable sometimes.” He doesn’t mean for it to come across as rude but the words strike a match to a guttering fire. You bare your own teeth at Kiri even though they aren’t sharp and probably don’t look nearly as threatening but it helps you feel powerful nonetheless. You drop without a second thought, lowering to your palms and sweeping your leg out in front of you in a wide arc. A grin spreads across your face when your calf meets Kiri’s ankle. He’s too physically dense for this move to work if he had seen it coming. But he doesn’t. And his solid 220 pounds of muscle falls hard.

You allow yourself the satisfaction of the moment for only a split second; Kiri’s recovery time is much shorter than yours so it isn’t long before he’s scrambling forward. He goes straight for your wrists to subdue you but with a smirk, you realize in his haste he’s put himself in the perfect position for you to possibly gain the upper hand. You scoot up away from him just enough to drag his arm forward and swing your legs around his neck. Then you elevate your hips and lock your core.

It’s over from there as you squeeze with every last ounce of strength left in your body. It doesn’t take long for him to tap out. You release as soon as you feel his loose hand tap your arm; he collapses over you and you’re too tired to move away or push him off. Now his breathing is rough and you feel a surge of pride. You reach up and place your hand on his head where his bun has come undone; he’s so heavy but it doesn’t feel bad. In fact, the feel of Kirishima resting his head and upper chest on your stomach is feeling nothing short of good . He’s still between your legs and suddenly the air is crackling with a new kind of energy when you gently comb your fingers through his hair.

He rises up, his hands on either side of you. His hips rest between your legs; the mingled heat radiating from both of you is almost more than you can take but there is no way you’re going to move anywhere. He leans forward, so close you can see the flecks of burnt orange in his eyes. If you moved forward just a little, you could close that space between you. He leans down more, his mouth right next to the shell of your ear.

“Maybe not always predictable. You did good today. Probably some of the best fighting I’ve seen from you so far. Keep it up.” He grunts, a shift of his hips allowing the curve of his cock to brush against your clothed sex through his gym shorts. He stiffens in what you think might be embarrassment. “Shit, sorry, let me just, uh--” The stuttering mess he becomes right before your eyes makes something lurch in your chest; you reach for his face without thinking.

“Kiri,” you whisper, rolling your own hips against his. His cheeks are burning a shade of red almost as vibrant as his hair. You bring up your other hand, holding his face between them and bringing him down to settle over you once more. Your lips meet his; he seems to war with himself for just a moment. A suspended second in time. But then he gives in, slipping his tongue against yours in a delicious sliding vision of what’s coming.

He reaches between you to slip his hand under your tank top; his hand is big and nearly encompasses your side. But it’s warm and gentle. Gentle. Who would have guessed that Red Riot could be so fucking gentle? But he is and when his hand moves lower to slide below the hem of your shorts, you give yourself to him with no reservations. His middle finger passes through the mess of your sex; a hissed breath rattles through his chest as your back arches on a ragged groan.

“ Shit. You’re so wet .” He slides his finger back and forth, gathering your slick on the thick digit. He takes his hand away and you mewl. “Can I?” He asks breathlessly as he hooks his hands on the hem of your shorts. You nod, eyes half-lidded. He pulls them down along with your underwear and the way he looks at you, at what’s between your legs, you don’t even have the wherewithal to feel self-conscious. Adoration. It’s the only word you can think of and it makes you wonder if you’d made a mistake waiting so long.

He’s on his knees when he takes your legs and drapes them on either side of his hips; this time he doesn’t hesitate in slipping his finger into your cunt. You nearly see stars just from that and if one finger is any indication, you’re in for it. Slowly, he adds another, his hand pumping into you in a steady rhythm. You’re grabbing for the ground, grabbing for him as a strangled noise pushes from your throat. He reaches out with his other hand to splay it across your sternum and it’s the only thing anchoring you as he adds the third finger before scooting down to put his mouth on your clit.

“ Kiri,” you keen, shoving your hips into his touch, frantically scrabbling for his wrist that’s on your chest just to have something to hold on to. He’s done this before, he’s had to. He’s too good. Too fucking good. Already there’s coiling in your gut as incomprehensible words tumble from your mouth. “Shit. Shit. Kiri I’m--I’m gonna--” He rumbles approvingly against your clit; the vibrations send you closer and closer to the edge and when it crests, your back arches near pain as you cry out, your voice echoing in the gym. It’s deep, roaring through all of your limbs but Kiri keeps going, fingers still pumping, tongue still swirling around your sensitive nub.

Another orgasm breaks over you sharp and quick and the overstimulation has your legs quaking as your arousal gushes over Kiri’s hand and tongue. But then he’s moving again, and you’re blearily aware that he’s shoving his own shorts and boxers past his hips to free his cock. You stare as it bounces back to sit near the planes of his stomach; it’s already leaking steadily with precum. Kiri looks back at you and when your eyes meet, you dart your tongue out between your lips to wet them. Another time, maybe.

Kiri leans forward to lift you up and the closer you get you can barely see any red in his eyes; his pupils are blown, his nostrils flared as he lifts you like you weigh nothing . He could snap you like a twig. But he won’t. You know without a doubt this is the safest you’ve ever felt, even as he lowers you slowly over his cock and it does feel like you’re being split .

“ Fuuuck…” You wrap your legs around him, your mouth dropped open, your hands gripping his shoulders. You try not to dig your nails in but it’s almost impossible with how you’re being filled. You knew Kiri was big but this was almost too much. His forehead drops to yours as he pants. But he’s not moving, won’t move until you tell him to. It makes your heart ache and your cunt floods, drunk on the affection thrumming through your veins. You roll your hips experimentally and the friction is bliss. “Oh fuck, ohfuck.” You move again, pushing yourself up and back down, listening to the hitch in his breathing. “ Kiri, please, ” you whisper. Those words… they’re enough.

Kirishima grips you by the hips, his fingers splayed and digging into the flesh; it’ll leave bruises and the knowledge cracks through you like electricity. Let him leave marks. Let him leave them everywhere. He’s moving you up and down his cock, grunting, mumbling. “Tell me, Kiri, tell me.” His eyes meet yours again and his own mouth drops open.

“Fuck, you’re so good. S’ tight. Jesus, I-- ” Kiri moves his hands from your hips to support you as he lays you down on the floor of the gym. The idea should be questionable but it’s not, it’s fucking not and you can’t concentrate on any other thoughts when Kiri grabs your wrists and pins them gently above your head with one hand while the other comes back to your hip. He thrusts into you at a brutal pace but… it feels like home and you think in that moment as your cunt begins to seize around his cock that you would give up forever to continue touching him.

“Yes, Kiri, yes. Right there, right--shit yesyes yes. ” He pistons up, the veins of his cock rubbing just right and when he releases the grip on your hands, they’re moving to wrap around him on instinct. He’s planting kisses along your jaw, mouthing up to your lips and back down to graze his teeth over your pulse point. “Do it, fuckin’ do it, let them know ‘m yours, ” you slur and when he bites down you crash over the edge on a groan that’s really more of a scream. Everything goes black but you're cradling him to you as his movements become more erratic. The snapping of his hips is getting sloppier by the second and a steady growl punches from his lungs with each breath. “Cum, Kirishima, cum inside me.”

He’s never heard those words before and it lights a fire in his veins. His head is buzzing and then he can’t hear anything as his cock releases and he’s spurting searing hot ropes of cum into your cunt. He goes until you’ve milked every last drop from him and he’d be lying if he said his world didn't suddenly feel whole. Finally, his body settles and his chest drops to yours. Everything slowly bleeds back into focus and somehow, everything seems more colorful than it did moments before. You’re still clinging to him.

“Kiri. Kiri, babe, I can’t breathe,” you say and he slowly rises, taking in your blissed-out expression. Your eyes can barely stay open, your cheeks are flushed. He backs up to see his handiwork on display, hyper-focused on the trail of the mingling cum dripping from the mess of your sex. But you’re smiling. Lazy and tired, completely at ease. “Wanna take a shower?” When you nod he doesn’t hesitate in standing to kick his underwear and shorts the rest of the way off his legs and then he’s grabbing you, scooping you into his arms and against his chest. He pads out of the gym and across the hall to his bathroom where he deposits you on your feet, only after he’s sure you can stand and only long enough to turn the shower head-on.

He puts his hand under the water, waiting for it to get warm. Steam billows from behind the glass door when he’s turning back to you to remove your tank top and your sports bra. Thank god you chose the front-closure one today; you didn’t think either one of you wanted to struggle to get one up over your head right now. When your breasts spill out of the high-impact fabric, you notice with tender amusement that his cock is half-hard again. His eyes go dark again and he leans in for a kiss. But it's slow and sweet.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful," he whispers. He ignores his arousal, ushering you into the stream of water. Your care is the only thing that matters to him right now. The heat slides across your body, and when Kirishima steps up behind you and begins soaping up your shoulders, it feels like heaven .

You take turns washing each other until you’re both blissed out in a different kind of way and the only thing either one of you can think about is sleep. But the afterglow is fading and doubt is creeping in. When you step out of the water, you stand awkwardly as Kiri hands you a towel. “You okay?” He’s actually concerned and you can’t put your finger on why you’re so fucking grateful for it.

“Yea, just tired. I should, uh, probably get going.” Kiri freezes and you think you’ve said something wrong, already crossed a line. Your brain is like a broken record as the stomach-curdling image of having to see him at the agency flashes across your eyes in vivid detail. But then he’s stepping into your space and pulling you in for a hug. A hug.

“Don’t go,” he whispers into the crown of your head and it has you smiling like an idiot against his chest. His skin smells clean and warm with a hint of spice. You bury your face further in as you nod against him. Then he’s leading you to his room, to the king-sized bed. He peels back the comforter and the white sheets and pulls you in beside him. Your back is against him and he hooks his foot around your ankles, bringing you even closer.

He doesn’t say anything more, just lets out a huge sigh as he wraps his arm around you. The last thing you notice before your eyes flutter shut is how your heartbeats are thumping at the same steady rhythm.

Late afternoon sunlight slants in Kirishima’s bedroom window, creating interesting patterns across his blanket. It’s pushed towards the end of the bed, your legs intertwined and tangled in the sheets. He’s still dozing, his breathing not quite that of someone sleeping but not of a person fully awake. You reach out to cup his cheek, stroke above his eyebrows, caress his lips with your thumb. A contented sigh leaves his chest as he grabs your hand and kisses your wrist. His eyes are open now and he watches you. You smile at him, snuggling closer, not wanting the moment to end.

“Hey,” he says quietly, suddenly serious. “I just want you to know, I don’t do this all the time. I mean, I’ve been with other people before but I don’t… I don’t really hook up .” Things start clicking into place as you realize what he’s trying to get across. He just fucked you stupid in his personal gym and somehow he looks bashful. And because you love it, you’re not going to help him along. You just watch, biting your lip to keep from giggling. “I just. I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time. And normally I would have wined and dined you first but... Well. Here we are. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

That’s the last straw; your laughter comes bubbling out of you and Kiri is leaning back to look at you with a quizzical expression on his face. “Is something funny?” That just makes you laugh a little harder but the confused look he’s wearing has you leaning in to press your lips against his.

“I’ve liked you from the first day I met you, Kiri. I’ll one-up your offer and tell you that I might like to stay forever.” A grin rips across his face and your heart blooms with warmth and affection. The world seems full of possibilities but none of them matter except for the possibility laying right in front of you.

#kirishima x reader #kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima eijirou x reader #kirishima eijiro #kirishima eijirou #pro hero kirishima #red riot #kirishima smut #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #kaitsuki writes #oh my god i had such brain block #writing this one #because i get too in my head writing smut #BUT i hope everyone still enjoys #we stan kiri in this house

1K notes · View notes

hareharrison · 3 years ago

Text

hold me

pairing: george harrison x reader

summary: george is in the process of finishing abbey road, and has been repeatedly coming home frustrated. instead of talking to you about it, he distances himself completely, and only speaks to you in annoyance or anger, and lashes out on you. he doesn’t know how much it affects you and one day comes home to the effects firsthand.

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, angy geo, neurodivergent reader, invasive thoughts, mental breakdown/panic attack, but it works out in the end

a/n: hayyyy ok so i wrote this as a comfort fic for myself, and i decided to post it cause why not. i struggle with intense fear of abandonment cause of bpd haha fun 😐and wanted to make it from the POV of a neurodivergent reader?? so this is like a comfort fic for ND readers?? idk if i need to put any other potential trigger warnings for this but if i do please lmk and i will fix it

year: 1969

the flat was quiet without him. to be honest, it was quiet with or without him, lately. as much as you didn’t want to admit it, george had been distant. he was always a quiet person, but he has never dismissed you this much. you knew that his job could be tiring and you tried not to overthink it, but you couldn’t help but feel bad. a voice in your head was planting horrible ideas, saying things like, “you fucked up, he doesn’t like you anymore, you’re annoying.” but still, you pushed on and tried your best to ignore the noise in your brain.

you sigh heavily and slide back into the couch. you had the next two days off of work, and nothing to do. george of course had to work on your days off, which left you alone at home. with your thoughts. it was hard getting through today, your intrusive thoughts were particularly loud... but he would be home any minute now, which brought on a bit of hope; seeing him should rid you of your own jailhoused mind.

the tv played some sitcom in front of you, which you had no interest in. all you could think about was if you ruined things. what if he was thinking of leaving you? it would be your fault... and yet you couldn’t think of a single thing you’ve ever done that might have hurt him.

the door opened gently and let in a cool draft that brushed against your warm skin. you look toward the entrance, seeing your george sigh heavily with exhaustion as he took his shoes and coat off. he looked up to you, his boldly furrowed brows softening.

“hi, love,” he says, walking toward you. you stand and approach him to greet him with a quick kiss. he holds you for a little longer than usual, and you take the opportunity to melt into his arms and breathe in his smell, something you’d been deprived of recently. he rests his chin on top of your head, which laid comfortably on his rising chest. it was moments like this that made all your worries slip away, moments like this that you wished you could cling onto forever and ever.

“how was your day?” you ask, finally leaning back to look up at him. he lets go of you and runs a hand through his long hair.

“not good,” he says, a frown on his perfectly sculpted face. you return his expression at the sight of him being sad. quickly, you remember your dinner ideas. maybe that would cheer him up.

“hey, maybe we can go get something to eat? maybe get your mind off of things?” you suggest, looking up at his brown eyes. he looks down at you, eyes full of regret.

“i’m sorry love, but i’d rather just head to bed already,” he says remorsefully. you smile softly and reassure him that it’s okay and he should get some rest. but part of you breaks inside, knowing he doesn’t want to spend time with you.

he headed upstairs and you followed, the painful ideas returning at full speed.

“you’re so annoying, of course he doesn’t want to spend any time with you. you’re so annoying and clingy,” your brain says and you flinch at the harsh thoughts. through your entire bedtime routine, thoughts flooded your mind and filled your entire being up, and you felt like you were being drowned from the inside out. george stood next to you as you both brushed your teeth, not speaking a single word to you or giving you a single glance. you changed into one of george’s t-shirts and watched as he slid out of his clothes and into his pajamas in seconds. he muttered a monotone, “good night,” before turning on his side, his back facting you.

as much as you didn’t want to, you believed the mean voices and hung your head as you got into bed next to george.

you slept back to back that night.

————————————————————

the sun seeped into your room through your windows, and invaded your bed, waking you rather unpleasantly. you groan lightly as you reached over your bed for george, but only found empty space. his side of the bed was cold, indicating that he’d been up for a while now.

you sit up slowly, rubbing your eyes as the aromas of freshly brewed coffee and morning dew hit your senses. you hear the song of the early birds chirping as your feet hit the cool floor. as you head downstairs, you can hear george on the phone, and you soon see him muttering softly before taking a long drag from his cigarette. you don’t bother him, seeing that there was paperwork on the table and his call must be business related. naturally, you decide to head for the coffee, the smell luring you in like a fish.

you poured the hot, dark liquid into your favorite mug and add in your preferred amounts of cream and sugar. looking out the window, you see water drip gently from the leaves of a tree that george and you had planted a year ago. you sip your coffee and reminisce about the times you used to actually spend time with george. how nice it was, seeing him smile so often.

you suddenly hear george raise his voice at the phone, something unlike him entirely. you jump at the unpleasant sound before peeking through the hallway to see what on earth was happening.

“no, i don’t care! i want the bloody bastard fired, in fact, tell him not to bother showing up today,” he shouts into the phone before slamming it down, placing his head between his knees and groaning in frustration. seeing george this upset and acting out on it was truly a rare sighting, and you thought carefully about what to next.

after careful consideration, you tiptoe into the room and gently rest a hand on his shoulder, the sudden contact making him flinch.

“christ, (y/n) are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack?” he grumbles before lighting another cigarette.

“sorry,” you say softly, “would you like some tea?” you figure it could calm his anger and soothe some of his abnormal irritability.

“what? tea? there’s already coffee made,” he says rudely. you take a step back, saying nothing. you know that you didn’t do anything and that this behavior would pass. george was never like this. your eyes find the time and see that george should have left ten minutes ago.

“george, you’re gonna be late to work,” you say, thinking you could at least do something helpful. his head snaps back at you and his once soft face turned hard with anger.

“what are you implying? you want me gone?” he stands up and angrily grabs all of the papers scattered on the table, shoving them into a folder and the folder into his bag, “fine, i’ll leave. im out the door.”

you look at him in confusion, you’d barely woken up and were just trying to help, “what’s the matter with you?”

“what’s the matter with me,” he repeats, looking away and scoffing. he runs his hand through his hair in frustration, “im sick of this, (y/n)! im sick of life. i come home exhausted and you have half a mind to ask me if i want to talk about it!”

“you always want to go straight to bed,” you defend yourself, hurt that he would even suggest that you don’t care about him. his dark eyes glare into your own for a moment that feels like hours, trying to think of somethig clever to say in response, but he just wasn’t ever much of a fighter. he finally chooses to put his cigarette out on the table’s ashtray and grab his coat. if you wanted him out of the house, he was more than happy to comply.

“george-“ you start.

“no,” he cuts you off, “don’t say anything right now, i can’t even look at you.” and he doesn’t, he ignores your presence entirely as he picks up his bag and walks out the door.

you’re left in the cold house, alone, hurt, and dumbfounded. you couldn’t believe what had just happened. you couldn’t believe that george, your george, had taken his anger out on you, simply for trying to help his morning be less shitty. worse than that, he thought you wanted him gone, when all you wanted was to be with him. is this how it was going to be now? a bitter, loveless relationship? your eyes sting with fresh tears at the thought, and a huge lump in your throat grows painfully. you take a deep breath before heading upstairs. you wanted anything but to cry this early in the morning, and the only reason you got up somewhat early was to see george before he left to work. now that your morning was ruined, you figured heading back to bed was the next best thing.

you climb back into your shared bed, suppressing your emotions with the warmth of your fluffy blankets and soft pillows. the comfort of a bed felt almost like a hug, and you sighed, letting the pain drift away as you fell asleep.

————————————————————

when you opened your eyes, the realization hit you. you’d slept until the sun began to set, completely ignoring your emotions, stuffing them down inside of you like an overflowing trash can. being awake made them fling right back at you; sleeping didn’t change a thing, and was only a temporary pause in your pain.

all of your feelings came back to you at once, and it once again felt like you were drowning internally. only this time, the thoughts weren’t the invasive factor. your emotions were overwhelmingly intense on top of your brain practically screaming horrible things to you. your breathing quickens as you feel tears slide down your face. this time you werent able to swallow the thick lump in your throat, and you began to weep softly.

this was it, george was leaving you. he hates you, he wants nothing to do with you. there was nothing you could do but hug your knees and cry. you choked on a sob and started rocking back and forth in attempts to try to soothe yourself. but you couldn’t stop, it felt like your entire world was falling apart. you soon began to have shortness of breath and struggled with your breathing, feeling your heart beat at an intense rate that you couldn’t control.

your bedroom door opens, revealing george’s early arrival. he immediately rushes to your side, afraid to touch you but wanting so bad to comfort you.

“(y/n)? (y/n), breathe. breathe, baby,” he takes your hand and you look at him. you aren’t sure if him being here is making the situation better or worse. seeing him try to help you stirred all kinds of feelings in your mind. you felt like you weren’t good enough for him, like you didn’t deserve his help.

george begins breathing in through his nose and out of his mouth, gently guiding you and hoping you will try to do the same. he sits in front of you on the bed and holds your face in his gentle hands. you look up into his eyes, the chocolate features of his face soothing you as your breath began to steady.

“that’s it,” he encourages.

“do you hate me?” you cry softly.

“what? no, (y/n), i’d give my life for yours, do you know that? you’re so, very special to me,” he slides over to sit beside you on the bed and wraps his long arms around you.

“why are you so distant?” you look up at him, and tears continue to roll down your flushed cheeks, “you acted so mean to me this morning, i feel like you want nothing to do with me.”

george is hurt by your words. he truly didn’t mean to be distant, and he never wanted to hurt you.

“i’m sorry,” he says, “ive been so overwhelmed i haven’t stopped to think of how you must feel. im really sorry my love i never meant to hurt you like this.” he embraces you tightly and you give into his comforting touch, wrapping your arms around his torso and digging your face into his chest.

you take a deep breath, “i understand,” you say before looking up to him to whisper, “i miss you. i miss us.”

“i miss you too darling,” he pauses for a moment, “how about i take tomorrow off? we can do whatever you’d like.”

you sniffle, “what about the album? the deadline?”

“i can fake sick. nothing is more important to me than you,” he says, “i want nothing more than to be with you. i love you so much.”

you smile when he presses a soft kiss to your aching head, “now how about we go have something to eat? i’m starved.”

345 notes · View notes

helloalycia · 4 years ago

Text

girl next door [three] // wanda maximoff

summary: the time has come where you realise your boyfriend just isn’t worth it, and your neighbour may or may not be an Avenger

warning/s: none i don’t think??

author’s note: part 3 is here! I kinda got carried away and wrote two more parts so my bad, but i hope you like it!

I couldn't be bothered with today. I just wasn't in the mood to go to work, so of course, I procrastinated as much as I could in the morning until it was finally time for me to get out of bed without being late.

Teddy had fallen asleep here last night after we watched a film, but he left earlier for work, so it was just me. I knew I had to break it off with him, it was time. But I didn't know how to tell him without hurting him. So, I was cowardly in that sense, which was only worse because I was leading him on. I'll find a way to say something soon, I promised myself as I took my clothes off and wrapped a towel around myself.

When I headed to the bathroom, I immediately slipped on the wet floor that only one person could have left behind. But, unlike the many times I had done so, I wasn't able to catch myself and instead fell on my leg, hearing a deadly crack noise, forcing a scream from my lips.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," I got out through gritted teeth, tears slipping from my eyes. The pain was unbearable and as I looked to my leg, I knew something was wrong because it instantly began to swell up and change colour.

Taking deep breaths to get through the pain, I tried not to imagine the several ways I was going to skin Teddy alive. He was so ignorant! How many times did I have to explain to him how dangerous it was to leave the floor wet?!

"It's okay, Y/N, you're okay," I told myself, before stretching and grabbing my phone from the side.

A striking pain shot up my leg and I suddenly felt nauseous, unable to deal with it. Swallowing hard, I called Teddy to give him a piece of my mind but also ask for his help since I couldn't move. Unfortunately for me, it went to fucking voicemail making me scream with frustration. I clenched my jaw as I tried to stand up myself, but more tears rolled down my cheeks as I accepted I was stuck.

The next person who came to mind was Wanda. If I was lucky and she wasn't at work, she'd be able to help me up and get me to a hospital.

I called her next and thankfully, unlike the arsehole that was my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend, she answered.

"Hey, Y/N!"

I breathed out as calmly as I could. "Hi, Wanda. I, er, I need your help."

"Everything okay?" she asked with concern.

I nodded, though I felt really sick as I tried to avoid looking at my leg. "Yeah, well– no. This is really embarrassing, but I slipped on the bathroom floor and I think my leg is broken. Please can you come 'round and help me up?"

"Shit, Y/N, of course!" she exclaimed.

"Thanks," I got out breathily. "Spare key is taped under the plant pot outside my door."

"Just hold on," she insisted, before hanging up.

I dropped my phone to the side and glanced down at myself, definitely embarrassed that I was sat here in my underwear and bra, but also glad that I wasn't completely naked.

As promised, Wanda came as soon as possible and I heard her approaching the bathroom before she squeaked and covered her eyes.

"S-sorry!" she said, flustered. "I didn't mean to look. I just–"

"Wanda, you need to see if you're to help me up," I said as nicely as I could without snapping from the pent up anger reserved for Teddy.

She removed her hand, though her eyes wouldn't meet mine. "Right, yeah, duh. Okay, er..."

Successfully, she managed to lift me up and let me use her for support as we limped to my bed and I took a seat.

"Can you pass me my–"

"Clothes, right," she caught on, still not meeting my eyes, before moving around the room to grab a shirt and shorts.

I put my shirt on with ease, but she had to help me with my shorts as I tried my very hardest not to cry from the pain. My leg, or rather my knee, was turning a yellow-purple colour pretty quickly, making me flinch.

"How did this happen?" she asked with worry, gaze falling to my leg.

I clenched my jaw. "My stupid fucking boyfriend. I've told him so many fucking times to mop the damn floor! And he always says okay, but he never does! Oh, boy, when I get my hands on him, he's gonna wish he'd never been born!"

"Y/N–"

"And can you believe he has the audacity to have his damn phone switched off?! I could be dying and he wouldn't even know! That selfish, ignorant son of a–"

"Y/N!" she called, snapping me out of my rant. "Hospital."

"Right, hospital," I agreed. "No ambulances because they're way too expensive. Maybe you can get me down to a taxi and I'll take it from there?"

She raised her eyebrows with disbelief. "You're kidding, right?"

I mirrored her expression. "Er, no? Ambulances are like $700, and even with my insurance that's like $400. Taxis are, what, twenty bucks?"

She wasn't convinced as she crossed her arms and stared at me with uncertainty. I sighed and tried to stand up, but I pulled a face at the pain. She was quick to help me stand, giving me support on my right side.

"This is gonna take a while," I mumbled, biting back annoyance.

"Don't hate me," she said suddenly.

I looked to her, furrowing my brows. "What are you talking about?"

She avoided my gaze and instead swept me off my feet quite literally, taking me by surprise. I wrapped my arms around her neck on instinct, eyes widening as she held me close, bridal-style.

"Wanda, you can't just carry me like this," I said, though I was surprised at how strong she was.

She ignored me and walked out the bedroom before stopping at the fire escape. I gripped her tightly, wondering what the heck was going on. There was a hint of red in her eyes, startling me, before I noticed the two of us rising into the air. Levitation, to be exact.

"Woah!" I shouted, holding her as tightly as I could. "What the hell?! How–?! What–?!"

As she flew us away from our building, there was a red hue floating all around us, like an energy I'd never seen before. Except it seemed familiar... and that's when I put it together.

"You're that Avenger!" I blurted out. "The witch, the one with all the magical powers! You're– you're– Oh my God."

She frowned, eyes darting to mine apologetically. "I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

I swallowed hard, fearfully glancing over her shoulder at the clouds interwoven with the tall buildings of New York. Never in a million years did I think I'd be flying amongst them, with an Avenger nonetheless. She'd fought at the battle of New York, I remembered seeing her on the TV. She was dubbed an official Avenger not long after, but then coverage of her went quiet... because she'd moved away. It made so much sense now!

"I knew I recognised you," I said with disbelief, studying her face closely as I now knew who she was.

Her eyes still had a red hue surrounding her irises, matching the energy surrounding us as she flew us to, presumably, the hospital.

"I didn't intend to hide it," she explained guiltily. "I thought you'd figure it out. But then you didn't and it... it just never felt right to bring it up."

I thought back to the random hours she worked, the spontaneity of being called in for her shifts, her whole backstory for crying out loud... how stupid could I be?

"This... this is a conversation we should have," I said, nodding slowly, "but maybe not right now."

"Right, yeah." She nodded in agreement, jaw tensed as she stared ahead. "Just hang on."

–

After getting an x-ray at the hospital, the doctor told me I'd need to go into surgery so they could realign my knee – it wasn't anything concerning, but I wasn't exactly over the moon about it.

I returned to the hospital room to find Wanda had been waiting for me. I'd say I was surprised, but I was more grateful that she stayed. We hadn't had a moment to speak about her whole Avenger situation, and she was oddly quiet about the whole thing, so I decided to ease it into conversation whilst waiting for the doctors to return to prep me for surgery.

"You know, you didn't have to stay," I said to her, watching as she distracted herself with the stuff on the bedside table. "It's only a broken leg."

She stopped whatever she was doing and gave me a knowing look. "It's not only a broken leg. And I just thought you might like the company. Who else is going to make sure you're okay?"

I offered her a small smile. "Thank you. But the surgery is gonna take a while. I'll head home after and catch up with you then."

She seemed against the idea, but said nothing, before resuming whatever she was messing around with. The tissue box, I think.

"So... magic, huh?"

She swallowed visibly. "It's, er, not magic... at least, not exactly."

I hummed in acknowledgement, still adjusting to the fact that she had actual powers. It was amazing and unusual all at once.

"It's okay that you didn't tell me you know," I said gently, making her glance at me. "You apologised earlier. Back when we were–" I breathed out, still in mild disbelief, "–well, flying. You didn't need to. You don't have to be sorry about anything, Wanda."

She frowned. "But I lied to you."

Her Sokovian accent was more noticeable when she was upset, I noted. I wondered if she realised.

"You didn't lie, per say... more like bent the truth," I tried to make her feel better, stifling a laugh. "Either way, it's alright. Well, for me anyway. I don't know if you wanted to tell me or–"

"I did," she cut in with nod, eyes focused on me. "I wanted to."

I hoped she couldn't hear the way my heart rate picked up a little. "Okay, then I don't see a problem. You're still the same Wanda, just with a little something extra, right?"

Her shoulders relaxed and a small smile tugged at her lips. "Right."

I mirrored her expression, holding her gaze for a moment longer than necessary, before tearing away when I heard the doctor enter the room. After prepping me for surgery, I headed off into the operating room and made sure Wanda knew she didn't have to be there when I came back.

They put me under, so I wasn't awake until several hours later when I woke up to horribly bright, fluorescent hospital lighting and the accompanying nasty disinfectant smell filling the room. The first thing I noticed was the giant cast on my leg, followed by the sleeping brunette in the corner of the room that was Wanda. I would have questioned why she was there as my first thought, but I couldn't help but take notice of the lovely room I was in – for starters, it wasn't shared with other patients like I expected.

"Wanda," I called, my voice rough-sounding, but she didn't stir in the slightest.

I chewed on my lip as I found the remote that controlled my bed, using it so I could sit up. I was able to grab the water on my bedside table and take a few sips before calling for her again, sounding a lot better. To my relief, she began to wake up, eyes blinking open and looking around with confusion before realisation crossed her face and she settled on me.

"You're up!" she exclaimed, before a yawn escaped her lips.

"And you're here," I returned, hinting my confusion.

"I told you I was staying," she reminded me, before standing up and approaching my bedside. "Had to make sure you were okay. And obviously to help you home. By taxi, not flying, don't worry."

I smiled at her caring nature, expression softening at how cute she was.

"Also, before you ask," she added, "your hospital bills are taken care of. Hence the room."

I lost my smile, eyebrows raising. "Come again?"

She sat at the edge of my bed, getting comfortable as she looked out the window opposite us. "I didn't want you worrying about it, especially when none of this was your fault, so I called in a favour at the Avenger's compound. Tony owed me."

I almost forgot how to breathe as my eyes widened. "Tony Stark? The Tony Stark? He's paying for my hospital bills?"

She looked to me, a hint of panic in her eyes. "I hope that's okay. I mean, I knew you would say no, but I feel like I should've done something. You've done so much for me and it was only fair."

"I can't believe..." I trailed off, losing track of what I was going to say, still shocked. It made sense with her being an Avenger, but it was still hard to believe.

"You still with me?" she joked, her hand resting on mine.

I cleared my throat, ignoring the warmth from her skin touching mine. "Yeah, sorry. I just– wow. Still digesting is all."

"Don't worry too much about it," she said gently.

I nodded weakly, swallowing hard and avoiding her gaze.

"I should go get the doctor and let her know you're awake," she said, letting go of my hand. "You okay on your own for a minute?"

"Yeah, of course. Thanks."

After a chat with the doctor and an explanation of how everything would play out from here, I was getting ready to leave for home. I got changed out of the annoying hospital gown in the bathroom attached to my hospital room (another perk of Tony Stark paying for my bills – no shared toilet) and was in the middle of adjusting to my crutches in my room when there was a knock on the door.

Wanda and I paused as we looked up, and I was about to say for whoever it was to come in, but the person came in quickly and without waiting. To my bitterness, it was Teddy of all people.

"Oh my god, Y/N, there you are!" he exclaimed upon seeing me. "I got your message, both of them. I was so worried!"

In addition to the message I'd left him when breaking my leg, I also left him another before the surgery to see if he actually cared enough to check in. Clearly not.

I gripped my crutches to get out my frustration. "It took you long enough. I went into surgery five hours ago."

He scratched his head awkwardly. "I was at work."

I rolled my eyes, promising myself I wouldn't snap, but the annoyance of everything happening was building up and I couldn't help but blurt out, "I told you to mop up when you freakin' showered, Teddy!"

"I did!"

"No, you didn't!" I shouted, raising my voice. "If you did, I wouldn't be in this fucking cast!"'

He winced. "Are you, er, sure that it was the water that you slipped on?"

I clenched my jaw, knuckles turning white from how hard I was gripping my crutches. I didn't care that I was temporarily crippled, all I could see was red.

"Am I sure?" I repeated his question, tone laced with anger. "Am I sure?!"

I attempted to lunge forward, but Wanda seemed to know what I was thinking before I did it, holding me back suddenly.

"Y/N, just leave it," she mumbled, eyes meeting mine.

Something about the way she looked at me made my anger temporarily melt away, and I almost forgot why I was mad, until...

"Who are you?" Teddy asked with confusion.

Wanda and I looked to him, figuring he was just being his usual rude self, but he genuinely had no idea who she was as he studied her curiously.

She blinked with disbelief. "Wanda....?"

He waved his hand, motioning for her to say more.

Wanda raised a brow with offence. "Y/N's neighbour...?"

He pursed his lips, eyes squinted with thought.

Wanda almost scoffed. "Really? You got nothing?"

He chewed on his lip, genuinely stumped, and I couldn't help but groan with frustration, earning his attention.

"Of course you don't know who she is!" I glared at him. "You don't listen to a word I say! Not about this, not about mopping the floor–!"

"Y/N, just calm down!" he cut me off, only adding fuel to the fire.

"No," I said sternly, before nodding to the door behind him. "You can leave. You have no need to be here since we're not together anymore."

He raised his eyebrows with shock. "Seriously? You're breaking up with me? For what?"

I breathed out through my nose, genuinely stunned at how I managed to stay with him this long without either losing my mind or killing him. I could swear he wasn't this stupid when I met him.

His eyes fell to Wanda with distaste. "Is it because of her?"

"Did you actually manage to get stupider since this morning?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.

"Because I totally accepted when you said you were bisexual," he continued, "but I didn't think you'd actually leave me for a woman."

I pressed my lips together, looking to my shoes as I tried to talk myself out of not killing him there and then. The fact that he was blaming the breakup on anyone but himself was disappointing but not surprising.

"Can you leave now?" I finally spoke, looking up to him with expressionless eyes.

His smile of disbelief turned into a scoff as he headed for the door. "Whatever. Your roast lamb is shit anyway."

I scrunched my face together with annoyance, unable to stop myself from yelling, "No it isn't!" as he walked out the door.

Unexpectedly, I saw the familiar red wisps of energy by the door before it suddenly slammed shut, smacking Teddy in the butt and propelling him forward with a start. He turned around to look through the glass, expecting to blame someone, but Wanda and I were nowhere near the door, so he glared our way before storming off.

"Sorry," Wanda said, referring to the door, lowering her hand and red eyes returning to normal. "He's just a real dickhead."

I tried not to laugh as I nodded in agreement, already feeling better. "You're not wrong there..." I sighed, losing my smile as I gave her an apologetic glance. "I'm sorry for everything he said. Again."

Wanda rolled her eyes dismissively, shrugging her shoulders. "You should really stop apologising on his behalf. Especially since he's not your boyfriend anymore."

I relaxed my shoulders, leaning against the bed and looking to the floor. "Yeah, you're right... I just can't believe I put up with him this long."

Wanda didn't respond, but I heard her make a weird noise before she fake-coughed terribly, making me look up. Trying ever-so-hard to suppress a smile, she shook her head apologetically when she realised I noticed.

"Sorry, I– it's not funny," she attempted.

I smiled with amusement. "What?"

She licked her lips, before giving into her smile. "I just– I can't believe it either sometimes."

I breathed out with defeat, my smile turning into laughter alongside her. Eventually, she continued to help me with my crutches before I got the hang of it and the two of us began to leave the hospital. On the way out though, a random thought dawned on me and I stopped walking suddenly.

"What is it?" she asked worriedly.

I looked to her with curiosity. "That guy who stopped by your place a while ago. Your friend. Are you telling me that was–"

"Captain America?" she filled in with an amused smile. "Yeah."

"Woah." I was amazed, eyebrows raised as I let that sink in. I spoke to the Captain America and even implied he was a stalker. Woah.

"Come on, idiot," she laughed before leading me out the hospital, finally.

–

Breaking up with Teddy was long overdue, and whereas I thought I would feel bad for doing so, it was quite the opposite. I felt better, freer, unrestrained by the stupidity that was my ex. It was a few days after leaving the hospital when I found myself sitting on the couch with Wanda. She'd been helping me during my recovery, even though I insisted I was fine alone. She, of course, didn't listen though, and I was secretly glad because it meant I could spend more time with her.

"What about that fork? Can you move that?"

Wanda gave me a knowing look from the other end of the couch, amusement knitted in her smile. "Yes, Y/N."

To prove her point, her eyes glowed red and she flicked her hand, raising the fork on the dining table up in the air before setting it down.

I was amazed. "What about that cushion?"

She stifled a laugh before levitating the cushion between us and setting it down.

"And that book?"

"I have other powers, too, y'know," she pointed out, but levitated the book nonetheless.

I grinned. "Yeah, like flying."

She nodded in agreement. "Yeah, like that..."

And this.

"Woah!" I said with a start, eyebrows raised with surprise. "Did you just– what?!"

She laughed, the sound sending a swirl of butterflies in my stomach. Her eyes sparkled as she met my gaze, amused by my amazement.

"You can speak in my mind?" I asked in bewilderment.

"I can read minds, too," she continued.

"Wow." I breathed out, still not used to her having powers. Suddenly a thought came to mind and I glanced at her. "Have you, er, read my mind?"

"Never," she assured me, before adding with a head tilt, "at least not on purpose. Sometimes, if somebody's thoughts are too loud, I can't help but hear it."

I felt my face heating up as I avoided her eyes. "But my thoughts are quiet... right?"

Every potentially-embarrassing thought I'd ever had, including those I'd had of Wanda, came to mind and I suddenly grew nervous to her answer.

"Er, well, I mean..."

I looked to her when I heard her forming an answer, but the look on her face told me she had heard my thoughts at times and I ran a hand down my face with embarrassment.

"I promise it's never anything embarrassing or anything," she tried to make me feel better.

I groaned quietly, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Hey, I promise," she said with reassurance, before I felt her rest a hand on mine and squeeze it gently.

"What was the last thing you heard?" I asked, trying to veil my curiosity with a shrug.

I felt her gaze on me and looked her way to see green eyes sparkling with amusement. "Mostly you cursing at your ex."

Cracking a smile, I nodded. "Okay, maybe that's fine then..."

Her laughter surrounded us again and she let go of my hand before pulling her legs up on the couch to get comfortable and face me. She watched me with an endearing smile, making me unusually nervous.

"So, what other things can you do with your powers?" I asked, partially curious and partially trying to distract from my nerves.

She studied her right hand, red energy wisps at the tip of her fingers. "I can... I can throw energy balls," she remembered, looking to me before smiling, "but I won't demonstrate that since I'm sure you love your curtains."

"That I do," I said in agreement, leaning on the back cushion with my elbow as I faced her better.

"I can also manipulate thoughts, but once again, I'm sure you won't want a demonstration." She chuckled as she saw my change of expression.

"Yeah, no thank you," I said jokingly.

She pressed her lips together, thinking of what else she could do, but her smile faded into a thin line as a dark thought seemed to cross her mind.

"My brother had powers, too," she said quietly. "Super speed."

Since finding out who she was, I tried to piece together Wanda's background without bringing it up to her for fear it would upset her. It made a lot more sense why she'd moved next door now that I knew who she was, but she hadn't once brought up her family again until, well, until now.

"Pietro," I said, hoping I'd got his name correct. "Right?"

She nodded, lowering her hand and looking to me. "Yeah, that's him... he also had powers. It was actually what got him killed." She barely flinched as she spoke. "He saved someone's life in the battle against Ultron."

I sensed her sadness when her gaze softened as she finished speaking, and my heart ached now that I knew the truth.

"You don't have to tell me, Wanda," I said gently, hoping she didn't feel obligated to.

"No, no...," she shook her head, "it's nice to finally be able to tell you the truth. The whole truth. Not some rendition of it."

I nodded, relaxing under her stare. I was glad, too, to know she trusted me with such sensitive information about her life. It made me feel important, kind of like confirmation that I meant as much to her as she did to me.

"Do you think you're gonna go back to the Avengers tower anytime soon?" I asked. "I know you mentioned living here was temporary, so..."

It was selfish of me to think, but I hoped the answer was no. She hadn't said, but I gathered she hadn't been fulfilling her role as an Avenger as much as she should have been, as she was still on a break from there since grieving for her brother. But she seemed better than she did when she first got here, and if that meant she was going to go back there... I hoped it didn't, selfishly enough. I know the world needed another hero, but, I mean, did they?

"Trying to get rid of me already?" she teased, quirking a brow, making me smile with embarrassment. She noticed and added, "I'm kidding, Y/N. But to answer your question, no, not yet. Maybe not ever. I thought I would be here to get away from them whilst I grieved, but I've come to like it here. It's become my new home. I can still help them and not stay there."

I tried to resist the urge to smile like a weirdo. "Oh, cool. Yeah, I get you."

Calm on the outside, but over the moon on the inside.

"Though I may have to reconsider if my neighbour keeps using me like a carnival attraction," she added playfully.

I laughed, putting my hair behind my ear as I shrugged. "I'm sorry, I can't help it. It's just so cool that you have powers!" She laughed quietly, making my smile widen. I continued without thinking, "Plus, your eyes go this pretty red colour whenever you use them and I just think that's pretty neat."

She rolled her eyes playfully, but I was surprised to see her cheeks turn the colour of said powers. God, she was stunning. I was sure I'd always known that, but maybe I'd never acknowledged the thought. Now though... she was adorable when she bit back a smile and her hazel eyes sparkled with distraction.

Suddenly remembering the beautiful girl before me had the ability to read minds, I cleared my throat and tried to debate whether or not that would be classed as a 'loud' thought. I'd liked to think it wasn't, but now I wasn't so sure... what if this was a loud thought? And she could actually hear everything I was saying about her in my head? Oh, no... I was definitely overthinking this. It was nothing to worry about.

"You okay over there? I can practically read your mind."

I looked up and saw she was teasing again, though now that I knew she had powers, those words carried a double meaning.

"Yeah, yeah, sure you can," I played along dismissively. "Nice try, Wanda."

She shrugged, laughter slipping from her lips. "Okay, whatever you say."

Nah, she was definitely playing me... right?

#wanda maximoff imagine #wandavision #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #elizabeth olsen #marvel imagine #marvel #mcu #scarlet witch

467 notes · View notes