#this mf is so hard to draw he might actually be the cause of my carpal tunnel

[devilsmamba]

cornelius hickey's divine comedy

[poohbea]

IM HERE TO BOOK MY MF APPOINTMENT BABEEEE🤭

so yk obviously i have to pick red w toji😵‍💫 and i just know that dirty bastard has a corruption kink so he got no issue handling little virgins😗 i’m thinking cute lingerie is involved, readers definitely overthinking everything until he fucks the nerves outta you😔

CONGRATS AGAIN ON 300 I LOVE YOU!!😚

wordcount: 1.4k

content: escort!toji, softdom!toji, virgin chubby fem!reader, implied black!reader (there’s one mention of skin tone but it’s very minor), lingerie, blindfold (you see that tie around his neck?), very light choking, pet names (baby, doll, darlin’, etc.), unprotected sex (use protection kids), unedited

note from pooh: the way i was in the ZONE while writing this goodness gracious me, i was literally in toji’s mind while writing, seeing you through his eyes, how you’d feel and sound like, heheheeeeee. why do i always get into that headspace when writing for him? i don’t even know 😭🤭 but anyway, im so sorry this took forever to come out, im lowkey embarrassed smh 😭 i blame my perfectionist ass, cause this wasn’t supposed to be this long lmao but i needed it to be good so here she is 🥺 i hope you enjoy my angel 🤎

WARNING: this is smut, so please ensure you have your age visible on your account before interacting. minors (below 18+), ageless and blank blogs will be BLOCKED

Hope you enjoy ♡ reblogs are greatly appreciated

“My, my,” Toji purrs with the slight shake of his head. He admires the way your skin flushes under the intensity of his dark gaze, eyes raking your body shamelessly. His fingers trace the silken material of the remaining black lingerie, the lace hugging your hips in a way that made his dick all too hard. “Fuck, look at you, doll.” You had him thinking up the most depraved thoughts as you lay there on the bed, blindfolded, so open and responsive to each and every touch.

Innocent. It was the first word that came to mind when you walked through his door. It was difficult for you to meet his gaze when he spoke, often keeping your head down or picking at your nails out of nervousness. However, the more he pried, the more you began to relax, able to speak beyond just one word when he asked you a question.

Then he finally got your attention. “Are you a virgin?”

Your response was almost immediate, wide eyes, trembling lips, a shaky exhale, all before you confirmed it with a soft. “Yes.” It’s when he laughs do you panic. “T-that’s not an issue, is it?! I can go if-”

“No, no,” he interrupts your distressed ramble. “It’s…No, it’s perfect actually.” You were inexperienced, untouched, uncorrupted. And soon you were on his bed, expression resembling that of a deer in headlights, that was until Toji offered you his tie. “This might help with your nerves.” You eyed the satin with clear confusion, drawing a chuckle from the man. “Clients typically find it easier to relax with a blindfold on, gets them outta their head.” With shaky hands you take the tie from him and with some help you manage to tie it securely around your head, vision black and body on high alert.

“I’m scared.” You admit, huffing an anxious laugh.

“That’s okay, baby girl. You’re new to this, so we’ll go nice and slow.” You noticeably shudder as he runs his hands up your legs, starting at your ankles, fingers tracing the sides of your calves before dipping behind your knees, enjoying the soft moan you emit as a result. He knew every erogenous zone there was and just how to touch them to make you squirm. He didn’t have to wonder between your thighs to elicit a sound from those pretty lips, no, he’d make you beg with them first.

Before long he’s at your stomach, your hips following the arched path of his fingertips over your pelvis in a languid buck, goosebumps rising upon your heated skin. “So sensitive.” He can’t help but chuckle when you whine in reply, thighs clenching tight as he journeys over the swell of your breasts, just barely ghosting your already pert nipples through the thin lace.

The man didn’t mind the adorable sentiment, wrapping his gift in such a pretty material, all so he could remove it, layer by layer. But first he’d play with you a little, help unravel that tight coil of trepidation set in the pit of your stomach.

“Breathe, doll.” He whispers in your ear as he wraps a hand around your throat, relishing the way your chest falls on command. “That’s it, baby.”

“Toji.” Your weak pleas went ignored as he continued his amorous exploration, digits hooking the thin straps of your bra. Slowly drawing them down your shoulders, his lips followed suit, each newly revealed section of skin met with the heat of his kiss. And soon your top was off, lost to the shagginess of the carpet beneath the bed as he tossed it aside.

Which brings him back to marvelling at your figure, an irresistible softness beneath his fingertips as he plays with your pert nipples, humming as your back arches, body silently begging for more of his touch.

“Fuck, darlin’.” Was all he could manage before replacing his fingers with his tongue, drawing a sharp gasp from those pillowy lips of yours. You couldn’t help the moans that followed as it swirled around the sensitive bud, his hands massaging the soft flesh whilst he tended to them one at a time.

“Toji, shit.” His name was breathy as it left your throat, unable to lay still in the face of his teasing, teeth nipping gently at the cocoa dusted skin of your breast, slowly making his way down your body.

“Tell me what you want, pretty girl.” He mumbles against the plushness of your tummy, taking the string-like waistband of your underwear between his incisors.

“You, I need you, please.” Even blindfolded you still manage to comb your fingers through his hair, practically egging him on as he finally unwraps his gift completely, your panties still between his teeth when they slip from your ankle and onto the bed beside him.

“What do you need from me, angel?” He doesn’t miss the way you lick your lips when you hear his zipper sound, the button of his pants accompanying it as he draws the garment around his thighs, an already hard cock bouncing at attention in its newfound freedom.

“Make love to me.” Those four words stopped Toji in his tracks.

As an escort it was his job to cater to his client’s every need, to be the lover they’d always desired, they were paying him after all. However, it had been a very long time since he’d heard those four words. He wasn’t even sure he knew how to anymore, if he were truly honest. This line of work was no breeding ground for unstable emotions such as love, so with time he’d removed it from his vocabulary entirely. But the desperation in your tone stirred that forgotten feeling inside his chest. He supposed he could make an exception. You were still a virgin, and that alone blossomed a steely determination that steadily washed away any doubt clouding his mind.

“Say that again.” He huffs, taking his already leaking tip in the palm of his hand, spreading the pre-cum across the flushed velvety skin.

“M-Make…”

“Don’t go shy on me now, sweetheart. Let me hear you say it again.” You shudder when he removes the blindfold from your eyes, free hand parting your thighs, hips settling themselves against your own.

“Make love to me, please, Toji.” He has to swallow the growl rising in his chest as he witnesses you bite your lip, gaze never wavering. That hidden confidence finally reared its head unabashedly, challenging his own as he stared down at you with dark eyes.

Toji is silent when he glides the head of his cock through your unsurprisingly slick folds, the sensitivity of your body revealing itself in the form of a delicious glossy arousal that easily paints his tip. “Mm, baby girl, you’re making such a mess.”

“Don’t say it like that.” You whine breathlessly, eying the way he runs his dick over your puffy clit.

“Like what?” His head dips into the crook of your neck. “You don’t want me to tell you just how fucking wet you are for me, doll? How you’re dripping so much you’re ruining the bedsheets?”

“N-No.”

“No? Oh, but I think you do, darlin’. I think you wanna hear all about how wet you’ve made my dick, and how easy it’s gonna slide into that pretty pussy of yours. Isn’t that right, baby?” He rocks his hips into yours ever so slightly, just enough to nudge against the entrance.

“I-I…” You reciprocate with a needy wave of your spine, almost crying when Toji withdraws from your advances.

“I’m not gonna give it to you until I get an answer, pretty. All you have to do is admit it.” The ragged breaths that break the ensuing silence make him chuckle deeply. So he tries again, making sure to include your clit in the mix. “Do you like it when I tell you how wet you are, sweetheart?”

“Y-Yes, fuck.”

“Does it feel good when I run my dick over your clit?” He’s tantalisingly slow in his movements as he speaks, each syllable creating a tortuous cadence against the overly sensitive bud.

“Yes, Toji.”

“Good girl. Are you ready?” The question was answered with a soft ‘yes’, and as fast as those words left your lips was he sinking into you.

“Fuck!” Was the first word uttered by both parties when he’d done so, the tightness — even if expected — had his hips stuttering, your walls squeezing him so mercilessly he could've cum right then and there.

“Oh my go- mm, shit.”

“You’re gripping me so tight, baby.” His exasperated laughter shoots a spark down your spine, one that has your nails digging into his biceps for support.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you talking like that. Makes me far too shy.” You mirror his lightheartedness, exhaling as you speak.

“Well,” he starts, nose tracing the curve of your jaw. “Let’s fuck that shyness out of you, shall we?”

tags: @gardenof-venus, @sailewhoremoon, @okhotel, @xharia, @chubbyblackthottie, @sakinotfound, @protectpancakes, @hoohoohope, @snake-titan

© poohbea, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, reupload or modify my work to other accounts and platforms. if you intend to translate any of my works please ask permission first ♡

[loneworldgazer]

itching hands

pairings: bonten x chubby!reader

a/n: this was supposed be for december but i'm impatient🕴

warnings: suggestive, bonten

life with bonten series

• × • × • × • × • × • × • × • × • × • ו × • × • × • × • ×

these men will bark at you if you ever had the time to be insecure about yourself

hold on tight to your seat cause i'm sure these executives won't let you

especially these easter egg mfs, you never know what's in each of these peoples' minds

sanzu

he lets a lot of things slip from his mind and specially his comments about you

he ranges from thirsty to intense staring at any part of your body where if i say so, it's gonna be a lot more pg

eventhough he's weirdly obsessive of how you look, he means good! it's just that his lameo ass can't say or spell it out to you without sounding like a pervert

he enters your apartment in search of any of the haitani brothers to pick up their report on the last mission and maybe you so he could easily find the two since they always muted their phones when busy.

at first, he wanted to reward himself with a little something since he did a little running around here and there, why not look into your fridge? he slowly opened it because of instinct and almost fell on his knees when he saw sweet cakes topped with icing. he reached out to it as if it's begging for him to just eat it up and he drooled with how soft it looked but a grab to his wrist startled him when he looked at the person in alarm, a quirk of your eyebrows immediately lead him to explain what he's here for.

"uh searching for haitani- by the way can i eat that-" you wiped his drool that ran down his chin with a tissue hastily, in full exaggeration the bright pink haired man is an absolute sweet tooth. he finally let his eyes set on you and he looked comedic with his wide eyes when he looked down at your soft thighs in the comfy shorts you wore.

you ignored his staring and sighed, pointing to the label of the sweet cake which had rindou's name on it but you changed your mind due to said man pouting and took out the cake and peeled off the label, offering to sanzu who drooled again but he doesn't know what's his drooling for anymore (rindou can always order another cake anyways). you closed the fridge and stretched, moving into the living room to lay on the sofa.

he felt content with his dessert, all he needed was a place to sit and he just felt that the perfect place was between, between, man he couldn't help it but stare at plushiness of your thighs. he wanted to bite it.

"can i lay myself between your thighs?"

a silent staring contest was held maybe, if people were to walk in at the moment but with a smirk you patted yourself.

"go ahead darling"

after a while

"y/n did you ate my cake!?" rindou gruffly yelled out and he didn't know what did he just walked into, you brushing and massaging sanzu's head while he hums and kisses up your thighs with the empty plate near his feet and rindou massaged his temples to not drag the male between your thighs into a body bag.

but he failed so sorry sanzu.

ran walked in with an amused stare when sanzu haven't noticed them yet and y/n laughed to rindou who was starting to march up to sanzu to grab both his ankles.

ran lazily stumbled to the sofa with his legs spread while watching whatever the hell the two were doing when sanzu finally woke up from his fantasies, fly high sanzu🕊🕊

ran leaned in to whisper to you when you secretly recorded the fight, asking why you finally offered sanzu a place to lay when you didn't let him lay between when he asked you so many times. you looked over at him with your mischevious eyes and he knows damn well he needs to do more than just asking.

extra!!:

"WAAAHH Y/N THEY BULLIED ME !!" you don't if sanzu's faking his loud crying or not with tears begin to slip past his cheek when he pointed at the haitanis and rindou had no shame in admitting what he done when his older brother blinked in confusion.

you tried to hold in any chortles or laughter coming out because the pink boy had his worst when rindou bent his leg over his head while muttering how he should've killed sanzu from day one. you held out your arms and he immediately flopped you to the coach when he pushed and smothered into your scent.

the haitanis still don't why you adore that crazed man baby who likes killing people and making them confess their crimes, you said you found it really annoyingly cute that's why you had haru in your arms who nibbled on you like a baby.

just hope that the treatment with haru doesn't go on and on and you actually do something about it instead of kissing his tears away and cuddled with him.

kakucho

he feels disrespectful to how much staring he does to you on a daily basis

the way you walk, your hips popping and the curve of your hip dips makes him go crazy

he wonders if he could just hold onto your waist or just touch onto your hips, he might faint touching the roughness of your stretch marks as if he's been blessed by pure heaven

he's obsessed with how you present yourself to the others

if only he was a little more bolder, he could admire it closer if he just asked (?)

"have you taken an interest in y/n, kaku?" ran's eyes glanced at kakucho's hard staring at your crossed legs and he stopped, scoffing at ran's word but the older haitani had a plan up his sleeves.

y/n sat nearby kokonoi's table doing their own thing, looking like a sweet thing that had kakucho's glued on them that ran couldn't help pointing it out and it didn't help kakucho's poor heart when mikey suddenly interrupted the conversation.

"kakucho, please assist y/n on where's they want to go at the moment" it made kakucho perk up, startled by the sudden job of bodyguard and he looked back at ran who winked at him. no no no this isn't what he wanted, what was he planning?

it's annoying on how this puppy crush of his grew even more worse, your whole personality draws him towards you, making him feel like a kid again because of how nonchalant you are with him. he felt laidback being with you is like the calm after a storm with his work and shenanigans in bonten.

he watched from a distance when you looked over the things on your list, kakucho also gathered some of the things you wanted into a little basket and cancelling some out so you didn't have to get them anymore and you thanked him with your pretty smile.

he scanned the area around him and held himself back from punching when this one creepo think they're being sleak with how they kept eyeing you, kakucho either think he was a pick pocket or a flirt but he kept a good metres away from him to see what he was doing but he was ready to turn towards you if they got any closer.

you turned towards kakucho, waving your hand to come to you and he immediately went, feeling more pissed off towards the person creeping in on you slowly but he felt your rough palm on the skin of his wrist wrapping it around your waist. he unconsciously squeezed around you, pulling you close as he shot a nasty glare towards the person who backed off, seeing the intense look from the half blind which they didn't dare messing with.

you both walk away, heading towards the counter as you laughed behind the palm of you hand; still in position of kakucho tightly holding onto your waist where he panicked when he realized how hard he's latching onto you.

"hah~ you're so-"

still choking on your laughter, he akwardly shuffles to the side in embarassment and it added more fuel to the fire when he remembered how he held your waist and he excused himself before combusting in front of you and went away for a few seconds.

you have to say but you gotta thank ran for this plan, even if the creepo appeared out of nowhere, atleast you got to see how bonten nunber 3 reacts to his dream coming true~

kokonoi

he mostly admires you in silence and gets distracted if he ever talks to somebody

just his eyes trailing down every curve on your body and just daydreams about them (as in like cuddling pls)

the other executives would notice how his eyes are always on you in every meeting youre in and would tease him about it when you leave the room like ran would comment 'so thats where your head was this whole time hm?'

kokonoi love your pictures, he feels creepy stalking your pictures but he can't help but gush into the palm of his hand of your stunning you look, you make him faint whenever you had suprise pictures of you in dresses and he feel like his whole body is on fire.

ran taps the head of his pen to the temple of kokonoi's head and he slams his phone down and put on a poker face, it faltering when he clenched his teeth already knowing what's coming. ran sneered to how much of a simp he was and flicked the back of his head, pointing towards the door of his office; telling him any moment you're gonna come by and koko swats his hand away, knowing the haitani was just teasing him but his eyes nearly bulged out when you actually swung by.

all sleepy and dreamy like, his heart getting squeezed and the older haitani patting you towards koko who unexpectantly had you in your lap, your weight tapping him out of his daydreams as you hugged him tighter.

"my my, tired baby ain't ya?" he put on his proper poker face he got from the back of his desk, trying not to falter when you sleepily ranted on how work was terribly tiring and he patted your back shakily, not wanting to push you off due to extreme nervousness. he joked with you telling that he could just pay you easily if you work under him and you pushed his chest with your head bonk .

"ywou drhon just-mphm-hrmm" him heating up to how close with you works because he was the best heat warmer you could ask for, he felt bad for moving you to the coach but he just needed a comfortable position for you sleep in because you sitting on him? naaah, he's a puddle by the end of it.

the urge to take a picture was really strong so he took out his phone and angle his phone down to catch your drool slipping out of you and smiled feverishly to how dorky you looked.

koko felt like he could fuck up more of his feelings staring at your sleeping face, he rubbed his finger on your fat cheek you smooshed onto the coach and shifted a little in your sleep to adjust the blanket more closer to you. koko's touches were hesitant, didn't want to be a pervert when all he did was touch your soft cheek.

he wanted to just hold you close to his chest and have you against him but his prickling anxiety said otherwise, his awful thoughts and stubborness entertaining the shit out of him. you nearly give him a heart attack when one of your eyes open when he wanted to take his second picture and you latched onto his wrist. koko squawked and you couldn't help but burst out in guffaws to how panicked he looked when you caught him.

if anyone saw this scene, koko surely would die of embarassment and he'll dig his grave himself but unfortunely he will eventually when the blinking red of somebody's recording was capturing every moment of it.

haitani brothers

the duo who makes you nervous with their hard stares on you

these two are also pretty touchy so it's dangerous when they're handsy with one of your body parts

rindou are obsessed with your chubbiness, poking it just to see his finger bounce back; comedically

he loves being close with you because you're so squishy??? the type of guy who plays with your squishiness like you're a stress toy and holds himself back from biting

you're the greatest fridge or heat bag on the off days he haves, just wrapped up in blankets and you makes him sleep like a baby

as discussed earlier, ran wants to his head between your thighs; don't be suprised when one day he felt like he should get killed by them and you reject his acceptance towards death

he's a leg man and likes sleeping on your lap or kissing them or he just does anything with them (if you don't mind)

you just gotta remember these two are menaces right next to sanzu cause they'll bother you about it like forever if they can

after seeing the endless babying of sanzu, rindou turns to his brother who was lost in his thoughts and tapped his shoulder with the back of his hand. he lifted his eybrow, needing a response to how quiet he became and ran gave him a sly smile.

"you look at y/n like you wanna eat them up" ran shrugged, placing his elbow on rindou's shoulder as he slipped a comment on how he can eat y/n in other ways while rindou scrunched up in disgust. sanzu then emerged right next to rindou, telling them to give their report; damn well distracted when you started brushing and massaging his head a few moments ago.

rindou pointed towards the window, telling sanzu to fetch the files in his car while 'lightly' threatening him to buy another cake for him and the pink haired boy waved him off as if his threatening didn't give him flashbacks to how rindou almost squeezed his organs out of his ribcage when he looked at the empty plate.

when sanzu disappeared out of the house, rindou pulled you by the waist and onto his lap. squeezing your fat and kissing up your neck, he grazed a sweet spot but you swatted him telling him what's gotten into him. ran lay his head on your lap and looked like a satisfied brat when you look back at him then his brother all confused like.

rindou couldn't spare anymore time so he whispered in your ear, telling how much of a nuisance his older brother was and pleaded you to let him do what he wished to do. ran quirked his eyebrows, leaning up to kiss you while you teased him more by placing a finger on his lips.

"using your brother as a way to get me to do your thing instead of asking me in the nicest way? how cruel haitani, don't you know how torturous it is for your brother to put up with you?"

he smirks, knowing how much of a tease you were and feigned his sigh. rindou clamped his hands over this ears to not hear whatever the hell is this and tilted his head comfortably on your neck.

you shifted off rindou's lap, letting the man going after your sweet self place his head on your tummy as he happily shifts himself to a tiny nap to wait for sanzu to get back from whatever he got himself into because they could hear him shouting at the phone when he was unlocking the car door.

you looked over at rindou and placed a finger on your lips, smiling with your eyes closed when you don't want to disturb his sleeping brother in bliss.

ran just doesn't need to know rindou had his many turns sleeping with you this week compared to him~

mikey

he likes sleeping on you, his titled pillow he seeks for at the end of the day

he usually goes to you whenever he has a hard time sleeping and you try your best to advice him on how he should take care od his eyebags and weak body

he likes listening to your whispering before he goes to sleep so he asks you to talk more (command maybe)

"mikey..?"

"mph?"

"please i need to get up"

he uses your entire body as a pillow to swing his leg over ._. . from the very start, he makes you worried that you might've done or said something wrong to him but his thoughts were completely filled with how he can melt into you and be a handy pillow for him if he can't sleep easily.

to break the ice of what he thinks of you, you hummed quietly and awfully close to him on why he was staring at you but he completley dodges the question, rather he wants to show you why he's staring so he asks if he can touch you. he was uo close and personal on the first into with you but he didn't have bad intentions.. because afterwards you were legit cradling him.

sanzu was raising his eyebrows teasingly when their boss was sound asleep on your shoulder and you run your hands to his hair while glaring at sanzu to not make any noise. kakucho tried putting a straight face on but it's complelety leaving him when he heard his boss sleep talk.

he was babbling nonsense to you which you tried to reply to him but his mouth was jammed shut because there was some point where he got mad at you for not replying and sanzu was rolling on the floor and kakucho had to walk out to laugh with sanzu, dragging the pink hair out of the office. you cooed at him to relax instead of thrashing back and forth and he stopped, planting his face into your neck which makes you feel really tickled.

you're just grateful he's getting some sleep and you kissed him good night and a faint smile shows up on his face when you hugged him tight.

(and the other executives in the other room cracking up about mikey and you NSBJSBD)

akashi

he likes carrying you, stealing you away from the other executive when they're disturbing you

you can't feel insecure with this man because he was the dirtiest way with his words that he whispers to you that can turn any guy or girl red

he'll surely gouge out any prying eyes that mock or stare at you for too long

"why cat got your tongue?" your mouth agape when he was busy doing pushups on the mat and his back muscles flex even more when you came by, the smirk on his face didn't help making you flustered while you sat near him. panicking on the inside, he stopped for a water break and sat next to you.

you prayed to not shake so visibly becaue this hot ass man right now makes you lose all sense of human nature with how big he was, he placed his bottle down and shifted closer to you. bending down a little to arch his back to crack a little, he said he needed you on his back for his pushups. he can easily see the confusion you had on your face and he chuckled, getting up to begin and he usher you to start climbing on his back.

"cmonnn~ i'm strong, you're afraid i'll drop you?"

this man wanted a death wish but you think you'll die first because of how much of a tease he was, his back was kinda comfortable so you tugged on him like a koala, he called you needy and he says he's right you'll enjoy it. enjoy what exactly? too scared to ask this man because of the potential of a heart attack.

it becomes a daily thing to be honest, just having you on his back to flex off his strength that you were impressed that he didn't break and kept his composure. he held you close or carries you on his back cause he wants to, running away from the others who were fighting over you.he was a dangerous man because he could easily take your breath away with how secretive he is.

heck, i think he just did.

tag tag: @lucylicious , @turksueme , @haruchyio , @fyotituti , @coconois , @gyros-cum-sock , @ashrakat-lovesbaji , @dragon-chica

[rootplants]

poorly written bachira headcanons cause im bored

i got absolutely no art to post because UGHHHHH ART BLOCK UGHHHH WAAAA BOOOOOOOO

so ummm

heres some headcanons i have hahaaa..... sweating...

Bachira has ADHD lowkey... (this might be me projecting because I have adhd and kin him but shut up)

He was also like really into vocaloid when he was younger, his favorites are the kagamine twins or luka cause that mf knows the luka luka night fever dance by heart and you know it.

also he sings along to kikuo and maretu despite understanding the lyrics

like im laughing so hard rn cause im imagining isagi walking in as bachira is singing "you are a useless child 🎵 nananana🎵" and isagi's just staring as he's jamming out to these dark songs im projecting rn im not gonna lie so who wants to be my isagi amirite (im getting sidetracked)

OH AND BACHIRA IS GODLIKE AT RYTHM GAMES I AM SO SURE OF THIS project sekai? full combo. full perfect if he really tries tbh. project diva? PERFECT. DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION?? YOU KNOW THE ANSWER i dont cause ive never played ddr BUT YOU MIGHT.

i mentioned this earlier but he REALLY likes kikuo tbh... his favorite songs are (i only know the english titles forgive me) invitation from spooky, you became the moon (is that even the title i forgor), dont look at me in that way and misfortune seller girl. IM SO RIGHT

Bachira probably rewatches old cartoons he watched as a baby like "haha baby protagonist! thats so true! its so cool how you stay fresh and original after all these years!" "couldve sworn you were funnier when i was 7 though..."

he's either a really good cook, or will set the kitchen on fire while trying to make cereal. no in between.

i feel like he's really really good at swimming and that he likes swimming specifically in the ocean like imagine lil bachira begging his mom to go to the beach like awwwww

OH SPEAKING OF HIS MOM HE WAS DEFINITELY AN ART KID, or ATLEAST got really good grades in art class he liked to draw the weird way he saw the world so he made some pretty sick abstract stuff with his mom bachiras abstract art>>>>>

i cant think of any but if i do ill be making more of these stupid rambling type posts

if u actually want me to say more of my hcs just send me an ask mwah

[yoichichi]

HQ boys with a sick s/o HC

warning(s): none :)

a/n: my poor ❣️ anon is sick and these were inspired by our last convo, I hope you’re feeling better Angel 😭 please enjoy some hq dummies and how theyd treat a sick s/o :) <3

characters: Tsukishima, Hinata, Sugawara, Daichi, Noya, Aran, Kita, Bokuto, Kenma, Ushijima, & Aone

Tsukishima

He would act bothered at the fact you’re sick, cause of course you’re gonna ask your boyfriend for things - like any notes you might’ve missed that day. But judging how he just does your homework for you you’re pretty sure he’s not actually mad.

He’d also be bugging you about taking your medicine cause he needs you to get better fast so he isn’t “stuck bullying only Hinata”, he misses picking on you too and he says it’s funner in person

He’s kind of worried about getting sick himself so he wouldn’t see you in person much but you definitely notice how frequent he’s starting to call you, he even FaceTimed you while he was at the grocery store cause you weren’t there with him to pick out your snacks. (He knows your favs at this point, he just missed your company)

The moment you’re better and he has a chance to see you he’s a bit more physically affectionate than normal - not that either of you are complaining - he missed you very much :(

Daichi

His hearts in the right place - like he’s brought some cough drops and water and such and has this whole plan for you to get better but the moment you sneeze a little too hard he’s so :((((( and just wants to hold you and coddle you.

So he does exactly that.

It can be a bit overbearing at first cause he’s VERY adamant on you not doing thing, like he’s debating on whether or not you should even be allowed to walk to the bathroom and if he should be carrying you there instead.

Rather than catch you up on anything you missed (he’ll bother suga about it later) he’d prefers snuggling in and napping the day away with you and just hopes you’ll magically get better.

Hinata

The overly worried type who’s also somehow simultaneously oblivious.

He’s CONSTANTLY checking in like are you better yet? Can you stand? Have you been throwing up all day? Is your temp still too high?? Please call me if you need anything :((((

But then he comes over with his volleyball and is all raring to go on some walk with you cause he found this awesome little trail that has some cute clearing he thinks you’d love but he seems to have forgotten you’re kind of currently bedridden.

You tell him and almost feel bad cause you can see the disappointment on his face and the way his body kind of deflates, but then all of a sudden he’s cheering back up cause he realizes that means he gets to lay with you basically all day and love up on you (regardless of your protests telling him he’d get sick too - which he definitely does)

Sugawara

I hope you wanted some tough love :(

Don’t get me wrong, he’s all about taking care of his baby but don’t think you’re gonna be milking any extra pity out of him 😭

He’s bringing you all the right medicine and extra love and any snacks you need, but he’s also bringing any schoolwork you might be missing and he’s reminding you of those deadlines.

He makes up for it with the extra study guides he made you so you can understand the material easier, and the cute little drawings he puts in the margins to better explain the material

He feels awful for his sick baby but isn’t gonna let you fall behind <3

Noya

Really believes in the whole laughter is the best medicine type shit. He’d also be looking up all different kinds of ways to make you better if he felt like you weren’t having a speedy recovery AHSJSJAJS

“I don’t know babe I’m jus sayin, this here says that if you drink raw egg whites and vinegar it’s a good immune system boost and will cure your flu in, like, 15 minutes. It might be worth a shot!”

Baby boy just misses going on dates with you 😭

Also tends to go overboard sometimes with the movies - last time you were sick he brought a whole cardboard box full of random dvds he had lying around as well as a couple of home videos of him as a child ‘cause:

“I’m hilarious babe look at these!”

Aran

Literally one of the best boyfriends you could ask for in this situation are you joking? He never hovers too much but is always just a phone call away if you need some help or are just feeling too lonely :( KING of making soups are you joking (firm believer that warm foods are the best thing when you’re ill) he definitely texts you random things throughout the day like

“how’s my baby doing?”

Or

“u feeling ok enough for me to stop by later ?❤️”

Expect LOTS of forehead kisses too

Also tends to hold the back of his hands to your face a lot so he can check your temp throughout the day, a true caregiver :,(

Kita

Ok him and Aran are tied cause this man 😪

The moment he finds out you’re sick he’s gotta know what kind of bug you caught cause he will be bringing you medicine the moment he can and he needs to be sure he’s getting the right kind. Also the type to buy you some silly little card that his grandmother INSISTED on signing (she’s very worried about you) and who is he to say no to that.

He also would hate to admit this to you but he thinks you’re so cute when you’re sick 😭 it doesn’t matter if you’re hacking up yesterday’s lunch he’s like 🥺🤲🏼 my poor little baby

He also just really likes taking care of you, definitely fits into his love language and it just feels very domestic for him to be by your side and aiding you in any way you can, and this mf is the biggest fan of the domestic things in your relationship <3

Bokuto

Honestly a little excited cause he gets to spend some uninterrupted alone time with you

Like don’t get me wrong he’s sad your sick but he can’t help but think to himself omg I get to spend the whole day with my baby! Just me and them!

Really helpful though, like you almost forget you’re sick. He’s making you food if you can’t do it yourself and he’s making sure you’re taking your medicine at the right times all while just chilling and talking with you in between! You guys watch some awful movies and laugh at them and it almost feels like a good ol date night in with your boyfriend if your body wasn’t so fatigued and sore from being sick. But don’t worry, cause Bokuto is there and ready to rub those sore muscles at any given moment.

Kenma

He just kind of shows up? Unannounced?

He has a weeks worth of stuff packed as well as a game console and a sack full of games LMAO and he just sets them down and gives you a kiss on the forehead and just ,, starts,, unpacking. You have to ask him what he’s doing cause he’s just not saying anything.

“You’re sick, so I’m staying over to take care of you until you feel better, duh. Now which side of the bed do you prefer?”

This man is casually waiting on your every need like your thirsty? Lay tf down he’s getting it for you. Hungry? Funny, he already ordered in. You’re his mf princess and you’re sick so you will not be moving a muscle.

Ushijima

MASSAGES. Massages. And cuddles :(((

Big man Ushi comes over when he has the chance with some painkillers and his big warm arms. Most of the time he’s over you guys are just napping cause he wants to hold you! Cause you look so helpless and sick and of course you guys are laying down so you guys just kind of pass out.

Also a big check in texter to see if you’re feeling up for him to be over later that day.

If you are too worried about getting him sick he’ll stay home but he’ll be kind of grumpy about it. You’d get a random FaceTime from him just for him to move his phone away from his body enough to emphasize how empty his bed is 🙄

You cave and let him come over, and when he does he just huffs and crawls into bed with you like ☹️ c’mere

Aone

Omg the biggest worrier of all of them :((((

The one most likely to say he’s sick too so he can free any responsibilities of the day just so he can come take care of you in person. Something about the idea of you being home alone and sick with no one there to make sure you’re ok hurts his heart so bad.

He also would forget to let you know he’s coming over though, so when he comes into your apartment with his copy of the key and finds you under a heap of covers with a tissue box on your nightstand he’s quickly getting under the covers with you and pulling you into his chest.

You wake up an hour or two later to feel big warm arms embracing you and you know your sweet boyfriend came over just to check on you. And judging by his heavy breaths signaling he was asleep you knew he had to have been here for a while <3

———————

ugh it’s been too long since I’ve written for hq! I hope you guys enjoyed and I always love to hear your thoughts :) <3

requests are open

-🐇out

taglist: @plutowrites @sweet-darling91 (if you’d like to be added to hq, aot, mha, or a combination of those lemme know!)

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

Hey, everyone! I’ve been saying for a bit I want to get some fics from prompts I’ve written onto AO3 but...it’s so hard...ok it’s not hard, Executive Dysfunction is just kicking my butt. I’m going to post some of them to Tumblr today. If you want to help these babies get on AO3, they need: titles, tags, you pestering me in the comments. If you don’t think they’re good enough for AO3 - fair enough, just hit the little heart if they make you smile!

Prompt: Aziraphale reading to Crowley

(Requested by @zadusk and @lyricwritesprose)

“Sorry, can’t help you,” the innkeeper said, “just rented out our last room.”

“What?” Crowley crossed his arms, huffing through his nose. This was Bethlehem all over again. “This town is in the middle of nowhere, it has three inns, how can they all be sold out?”

“I don’t know what to tell you.” The innkeeper shut the ledger. “Everyone’s headed down to London, and we’re on the way. Now. I can offer you a hot meal, and for, let’s say, half the price of a room you can sleep in the stables. The hay loft is clean, apart from the mice—”

“Stablesss!” Crowley hissed, slapping his hand on the counter. “Do I look like someone who sleeps in stables?”

The innkeeper didn’t appear remotely impressed. “You look like someone who is going to be sleeping in a hedge. Looks like a storm tonight. Good evening.” And he spun away, calling out to the cook in the back room.

“Oi!” Crowley shouted. “Get back here, you—!”

“Crowley! Whatever are you doing here?” The familiar voice was half delighted, half scolding. Aziraphale appeared beside him, same white suit as the last time they’d met, top hat tucked under his arm. “I thought I made it clear we shouldn’t see each other so often. Since I opened the shop, it’s been—”

“Yes, I know.” Crowley waved a hand and turned away. “I’m not here for you, Angel, I have actual business in York.”

“Really?” Despite his words, Aziraphale trailed behind him. “How interesting. I’m just returning from York – oh, no, you don’t think they’ve sent you to undo all my work again, do you?”

Crowley snorted. “No bet.” He dropped his voice into a low whisper. “This is why we need to meet up more often. Look at all this time we’re wasting! And now I have to march through the bloody night in the rain because there’s no place to sleep—”

“Oh! Well, I wouldn’t dream of it. You can share my room.”

“Ngk?!” Crowley’s brain crashed into his skull with all the speed and grace of a train wreck. “Mf. Yk. No I can’t – Aziraphale!”

“Oh, my word – obviously, I’m not planning – that!” His voice dropped even lower and he tugged on Crowley’s elbow. “Don’t be crude, dear fellow. I have a room with a bed that I’m not intending to use. You can have it. I just need a chair to sit in while I read.”

“Jgk.” Crowley turned away, taking a deep breath through his nose. It made sense. He could sleep. Aziraphale could read. No getting soaked, or lost in the dark, or needing to fight off highwaymen or anything of the sort. “Fffine. We can. Er. Do that.”

“Jolly good.” He could practically hear the angel straightening his waistcoat. “Now that’s settled. I’ve already had my supper and was about to head up. Unless you’re hungry—”

“No, no, now is fine.” He still couldn’t quite meet Aziraphale’s eyes. “Lead the way.”

The room, it turned out, was nearly as advertised.

A double-sized bed with a straw-tick and a quilt. A little stand with a pitcher of water and bowl for washing up. Windows that could be tightly shuttered to block out some of the city noise.

The only thing missing, really, was the chair.

“Oh.” Aziraphale’s fingers tapped on his book and he glanced around, as if a seat might be hiding in the corner. “Well, er…”

“It’s fine. I can leave.” Crowley turned on his heel and reached for the latch.

“Absolutely not! I won’t hear of it. You get settled and I’ll – ah – I’ll miracle in a chair.” He peered around the narrow room. “Somewhere.”

“Look, I can—”

“No. Miracle yourself a nightgown or whatever it is you need.”

“I—”

“Hush!”

Resigning himself, Crowley waved his clothes into something more comfortable for sleeping and crawled under the blanket. It was…slightly better than sleeping in the stables, he supposed. The straw was lumpy and the sheet covering it coarse, but the pillow was well-stuffed with goose-down, a luxury he could get used to. He shifted onto his back, trying to find a comfortable angle.

Instead, he found Aziraphale, standing beside the bed, staring blankly at the wall. “There…well…it would appear there isn’t room for a chair,” he confessed. “Not one that will fit my, er…my current corporation comfortably, that is.”

Crowley looked at the ceiling. He could sleep up there, but it would mean abandoning the pillow. Or. Or.

“Look, Angel,” he said as casually as he could. You can, um, you can sit on the bed. I’m not going to be offended or anything. It’s fine.”

“No, I couldn’t – couldn’t possibly—”

“Aziraphale. It’s really fine.”

The quilt tugged, folded back, and with a rustle of straw Aziraphale settled into the mattress. He sat straight, stiff, and so close to the edge he might topple off.

Even so, he was alarmingly close.

“You, um. You need the candle?”

“No, my own light will be sufficient, thank you.”

“Yeah. Obviously.” Crowley tossed his glasses onto the little table and waved a finger at the candle, which immediately snuffed out, leaving the room dark except for the soft glow of Aziraphale, gently illuminating his book.

Crowley closed his eyes and prepared to fall asleep.

He turned onto one side. No good, too close to the edge.

He turned the other way, or started to, freezing when he felt how close the angel’s warmth was.

Then he lay on his back again. The whole room fell very, very still.

“Bless it, Aziraphale, will you relax?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I can practically hear your muscles creaking. How am I supposed to all asleep with all that – that tension barely six inches away!”

“I don’t know what you might be referring to. I am – am perfectly relaxed here, reading my book and you – you interrupt with these – these pointless accusations.”

Crowley gave up and turned on his side, facing Aziraphale, giving him as hard a stare as he could manage. “Your book is upside down, Angel.”

“Is it?” He swallowed. “I mean, of course it is. I am training myself to read upside-down text, a highly useful skill, which I’m sure—”

Crowley shut his eyes. “This was a terrible idea.” He sat up, swinging his legs off the bed.

“Where are you going?”

“Look, Aziraphale, neither of us is actually comfortable with this. So I’m just going to head out. If I leave now, I might make it to the next town before the rain starts, and maybe they’ll have a room. You can have this one and—”

“Crowley,” he said, voice much softer than expected. “My dear fellow. I won’t be able to relax knowing you’re out there. I know you won’t be in – in any real danger but…I would rather know that you’re safe.”

He stared ahead, sitting perfectly still in the way that only beings who aren’t really alive can – no breath, no heartbeat, no tiny motions.

Then, slowly, Crowley pulled his legs back under the quilt and lay on his back.

“What’s this book about, anyway?” he asked.

“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”

“It’ll help. Trust me. What is it – poetry? Ancient epics about glorious wars? Not Hamlet again, I hope, that play is a gloomy mess of—”

“No, nothing of the sort. It’s…well, it’s a sort of love story.”

That didn’t sound too bad. “Sort of?”

“Well, yes, it’s more a – a study of the manners and traditions of courtship. Our heroine is the second of five sisters, and there’s a great deal riding on finding them suitable husbands, but her choices are, well…not especially appealing.”

“Does she tell them to go jump in a lake?”

“Not in so many words,” Aziraphale said disapprovingly. “But yes, she has so far turned down two proposals quite bitingly. Although I think she was a bit hasty in her judgement of one of the young men.”

“I like it.” Crowley turned to look at Aziraphale, and found the angel had relaxed, and moved just a little closer. “What’s it called, anyway?”

“Pride and Prejudice.” His fingers tapped against it. “Just released last year. I must try and find the author’s other work when I finish.”

“Well, you’ll have to tell me how it ends.”

“Oh, are you…interested?”

“Hmm,” Crowley settled his head a little further into the pillow. “I do like a good drawing room drama. Perhaps I should pick out a few dresses and spend a year or two back in those circles.”

“As I recall, you were always deceitful and wicked and caused many a scandal.”

“I should hope so. Otherwise, what’s the point?”

Aziraphale smiled down at him, and it made Crowley feel light-headed in a way that had nothing to do with sleep. “Then I imagine you’ll be brilliant at it.” He suddenly turned away, looking at the shuttered window. “Oh! Do you hear that? The rain has started.” The first drops were tapping against the shutters fitfully.

“Good thing I didn’t go out.”

“Yes.” Aziraphale looked at the book again. “Er, would you like me to…to read it to you? Just the first part, until you fall asleep.”

“I…” Crowley cleared his throat. “Yeah. I mean, your voice puts me to sleep half the time anyway, so…”

“Oh, yes, absolutely wonderful. Let me just get the first volume.” He hopped out of bed and hurried over to his jacket, rummaging in the pocket to pull out another hardcover book. When he returned to the bed, it was with almost no self-consciousness, wriggling comfortably against his pillow only a few inches away from Crowley.

“Now, let’s see…yes, here. ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife…’”

It was strange, seeing the angel from this angle, round face slightly lit by his own glow, little smile curving up his lips as the words bubbled out excitedly. His voice rose and fell as he read, trying to paint a picture of Longbourne and Netherfield and the lives of the Bennet sisters. Crowley could get used to it, the look, the sound, the soft familiarity of it all. Not that he was likely to have an opportunity.

He didn’t close his eyes. Not yet.

--

“‘But I can assure you,’ she added,” Aziraphale was quite enjoying the voice he had chosen for Mrs. Bennet, raising it now in slightly erratic excitement. “‘that Lizzy does not lose much by not suiting his fancy; for he is a most disagreeable, horrid man, not at all worth pleasing.’” He shifted again, raising his arm to better articulate the dialogue. “‘So high and so conceited that there was no enduring him! He walked here, and he walked there, fancying himself so very great! Not handsome enough to dance with!’” He dropped his voice into a vicious hiss. “‘I wish you had been there, my dear, to have given him one of your set downs. I quite detest the man.’”

He glanced to his left, grinning, hoping to see Crowley’s reaction to his bit of acting, but the demon had at some point fallen asleep. He lay half on his back, still facing Aziraphale, shock of red hair across the white pillow. His mouth hung slightly open and something emerged that was almost a snore, but rather too small to really qualify. It was drowned out by the wind and rain outside, rattling the shutters. Now and then, in the distance, thunder rumbled.

“Well. I suppose…yes, you sleep now.” Aziraphale turned to put the book down, thinking to find the second volume and pick up where he’d left off.

“Nf.” Crowley turned onto his side, one arm flinging out towards Aziraphale’s waist. “D’n stp,” he mumbled. “Jus’ gettn gud.”

“Er, are you…awake?” The arm tightened slightly, and Crowley pulled closer, pressing himself against Aziraphale’s side. “Crowley, er, dear…you’re…”

“M’fine.” He sighed, not seeming aware of the world at all. “S’nice.”

For a long moment, Aziraphale stared at the demon who had – had invaded his space. Had settled against him in a most – most awkward and undignified way.

Well. There was really only one thing to do.

Aziraphale slid a little lower against the pillow, until he’d surrounded Crowley in the crook of his arm. “Is that better, dear?”

“St’ry.” But he settled into that space between Aziraphale’s side and his arm with a content sigh, arm now draped across the angel’s chest.

Oh, dear. This is not going to be easy to explain when he wakes up. But that wouldn’t be for several hours, at least, and right now, there was a very small smile on Crowley’s lips.

“Well. Chapter four. ‘When Jane and Elizabeth were alone, the former, who had been cautious in her praise of Mr. Bingley before, expressed to her sister how very much she admired him…’”

--

Thanks for reading! Pride and Prejudice was initially published in three volumes, in 1813, attributed simply to “The Author of Sense and Sensibility.” I have no idea what was going on in York in 1814 - I mostly needed someplace they could walk to but would take several days - so feel free to attribute whatever historical events you can think of to these dummies! 

[elizabeatrice]

Episode 12 - The Little Mermaid

Let’s Talk About JSHK Anime #3

Warning: Manga spoilers for The Little Mermaid arc, The Clock Keeper arc, and chapter 64!!! (just a bit, skip point no. 5, 6, and 10 if you don’t want to get spoiled) Also … this ended up way longer than I intended.

Well that was one heck of a feels trip. It’s probably my new favorite episode, just because everyone is here being wholesome lmao.

This is mostly hananene meta I ain’t even gonna lie.

Before we begin, shout out to Black Canyon, our newest anime cutie pie. Just look at him, folks. Just chilling with his sunflower seed.

He has no idea the kind of life his owner leads.

I said before that the best part of episode 12 is how it made Daydream worse, so now I’m gonna ramble about it.

“Maybe different species can’t understand each other after all.”

“Maybe it would be better if I were an apparition too.”

This is my favorite part of the episode. And no, not in the sense that I want Nene to die just so that she and Hanako can be together. But because of how Lerche actually explored deeper what was said only once in the manga.

Well, both in the manga and anime Nene ended up accepting the mermaid’s blood because of her desire to be popular, but the anime decided to revisit what she said earlier in the episode.

Not only did that make her decision kinda less selfish, it’s also just … sad. Thinking that your friend, someone you really cared about, doesn’t trust you enough to tell you things about themselves, to the point where you’re willing to go to such lengths as turning into an apparition just to understand them.

And if you think about it, isn’t this part of her true wish? To have her feelings be reciprocated? Man I just realized that as I wrote this and I am mindblown.

She thought she finally got her wish with Hanako. I mean, he said it himself in the first ep (”You wanted someone, anyone, to return your feelings, right? And as far as you’re concerned, sharing a bond with someone is the same thing, right?”). So it must’ve hit her really hard when she thought he didn’t trust her. Especially with all the wrong ideas the fishes were feeding her mind.

Then we got this little flashback. At first I was like, “Girl, you really be thinking that he doesn’t care about you while recalling the moment he apologized to you and hugged you? Are you insane?”

But after some thinking of my own, it occurred to me. Maybe she was too used to having her feelings not reciprocated, she couldn’t believe it when someone finally did. Not to mention Hanako did kinda trick her with his fake confession a while back (heh, he’s not the only one with trust issues, eh?). And that just made the entire thing even sadder.

So when Nene said, “But I thought, if I were an apparition like you, I could get closer to you. Then, maybe I’d be able to understand you, Hanako-kun. Although I know I probably don’t mean anything to you.”

That was a harsh wake up call for Hanako.

(Btw even more full circle, Hanako brought up Nene’s wish to become human again in the first episode. Nice.)

So. We got one daikon girl who’s afraid of not having her feelings reciprocated, and one ghost boy who’s afraid that daikon girl wouldn’t be his friend anymore if she knew about his past.

While in actuality, said daikon girl already decided she wanted to and would be his friend no matter what, and ghost boy had grown to care about her more than he thought he would.

He heard what she said to Tsuchigomori. He knew all about regret, too.  I mean, honestly, I think if she had said no, he’d let her walk away right then and there, no questions asked. But she didn’t.

Nene’s wish finally came true here. And the best part? It wasn’t the work of magic or curses. Just Hanako finally shoving his fear aside, offering himself as he was, and letting her decide.

And she still chose to be with him.

Heh. Lemme just. Sob for a bit.

Is my hananene trash brain reading too much into this? Idk. Maybe.

So props to the production team for managing to add even more weight to this arc. Which, they had to, since it’s the season finale and all. But I love what they did!

Onto my commentaries!

1. The KouNene

Good shit. She was worried about him but he didn’t want her to worry so he just smiled it off? These two are precious. Thought they were gonna interact. Sadly not. Buuuut! (see point 12)

2. Hanako’s classroom visit

He. Is. So. Adorable. Someone please take his babey license away he’s too dangerous.

Hanako’s classroom visit is like my absolute favorite clingy Hanako moment, so I’m really happy I get to see it this season. Ugh. My kokoro. Hugging her from behind, that semi confession vibe … Smooth mf.

The Mokke brushing Nene’s hair!!! The radish hairdo tho lmao.

On a sidenote, as a history nerd I appreciate that they’re actually putting lessons in the background. And the teacher talked about Apollo 11 again??? While my boy was in the room? That ish both hurt and pleased me.

3. The Clock Keeper rumor drop

Heeeeeehhhhh? What’s thiiiiiissss?

4. This freaking thing

*flips table* Darn production team been knew I’m hananene trash how dare they do this to me.

And lookie here there’s Kodama chilling.

5. Fishies! (!!!manga spoiler for The Little Mermaid arc!!!)

Pufferfish didn’t die. Well, good for him. Also I can’t believe they just call the other fish ‘yeah yeah’ lmao what the freak. Has it always been like that in the manga?

6. AOI AND AKANE (!!!spoilers for chapter 64!!!)

I swear I did not intend this numbering coincidence.

*claps* Boi. Nene asking Aoi about cutting ties with someone she’s interested in? And then Akane just swooped in and say he’d rather cut his head off than cut ties with Aoi? What about getting impaled, huh, boy? Would that do?

The not-so-subtle call out to these two pairs’ parallel? BOI.

7. Nene and Yako

These two just chilling together having girl talk, and Yako let Nene pet her? That’s some adorable shit right there. Admit it Yako you like her.

Yako also be really hitting home with what she said. It was extra heavy coming from her, considering what happened to her and Misaki. Boiiiiii.

8. Tsuchigomori

Oh my God, his laughter. Just … oh my God.

Tsuchigomori in dad mode is always one of the highlights of the episode/chapter.

By the way, in this scene according to the sub, Nene asked Tsuchigomori who Tsukasa is. But she knew who he is already. Is it possible that the sub misinterpreted it? ‘Cause I think what she actually meant was, “What happened to him and Tsukasa-kun in the past?”

If someone who speaks Japanese could share their wisdom, please do!

9. The 5 pm bell and twilight

Look how pretty they are!!!

Lo and behold, another important hananene interaction while the 5 pm bell plays in the background. Also, twilight? Y’all giving me Kimi no Na wa flashbacks.

“Twilight, when it’s neither day or night. When the world blurs and one might encounter something not human.”

Huh … kinda fits the ‘boundary’ concept but it still hurt.

Anyway they still had Hanako tell her what she already knew. And I did say in my ‘Walking Blind’ post that it’d be redundant. But since the episode kinda emphasized Nene’s desire to understand Hanako, having him actually tell her himself, even though she already knew it, was a big deal. It’s not about what she knows, it’s about him opening up to her. So I’m super cool with it.

10. The Broadcasting Club (!!!spoilers for The Clock Keeper arc!!!)

I love how Natsuhiko and Sakura are actually decent people. When he told Mitsuba that he was free to choose to stay with them or not? That’s solid, man. Though, of course, Tsukasa might not be as kind.

Speaking of, I know it couldn’t be anything else, but I’m still not sure if Tsukasa’s drawing was confirmation for season 2. Don’t wanna get my hopes up. Imma just enjoy what I currently have.

Kinda curious, though. Because Clock Keeper wasn’t Tsukasa’s doing. Maybe he was the one who released Mirai? But tbh I’d prefer if it wasn’t so. Because having more cases of supernaturals going loco without it being one of Tsukasa’s games is interesting, and kinda underlines the need of The Seven Wonders to keep supernaturals in check.

11. Kodama just chilling

12. The Adventures of Minamoto and the Summer Vegetables

You go, Kou! I’m rooting for you oh my God you’re so precious.

And look at that ikemen smile! Him supporting Kou is just top notch sweet y’all I can’t-

Ngl this was the biggest surprise of the episode. Teru finding out that summer vegetables = Nene? Broooooo. Interesting. I don’t think this little addition warrants any changes to their future interaction, so it should be safe. Clever replacement, too, those veggies.

It’s so sweet that Nene delivered those veggies to Kou! Just imagine the Minamoto family having veggies for dinner. Awww.

(Also, Nene wrote her name in hiragana instead of kanji. Is that a reference to how bad Kou is with kanji? Lol, so sweet)

13. The Coda!!!

Look at him. Just look at him. Look how lovesick he is y’all I can’t-

THEY’RE SO ADORABLE.

All in all, I love this episode. Sorry for how long this post is. I’m just dealing with so many feels right now. Gaaahhhhh.

[himbo-buckley]

Intimacy, Sex and Buddie (better known as I have a lot of feelings about this show, some of which are related to the before mentioned topics) - Part 2

G’day friends, family and lost travelers! Welcome back to another instance of: I read too much into things!

This is where we really dive into the Character analysis and it’s gonna be a fun ride!!! (well, maybe. For me at least because thanks to 3.16 I am living! That episode validated me so much and now I truly believe I am right)

This is part two of a three part Meta / Character Analysis, and while you probably don’t need to read part 1, I would recommend it, so here is the link:

part 1

Also:

I should preface this by saying this meta was supposed to be a lot shorter and only talk about how both Buck and Eddie use sex to distract their respective partners from whatever topic they actually wanted to talk about but since I decided to rewatch the show to make sure I don’t miss any such scenes, it has exploded a bit and taken on more topics.

I should also mention that I am a Buddie shipper and while I tried, you will find several references and arguments for the ship in this Meta, not all of which necessarily call for a romantic pairing but just: These two are deeply connected and you cannot look at one without discussing the other and they are each other’s strongest emotional connection.

I should also preface this by saying that the whole of the 118 has some obvious intimacy / commitment issues except Bobby (which is sort of surprising) but *John Mulaney* voice we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

On another note I cuss a little in this Meta because my parents let me listen to TicTacToe as a small child and after that it never stuck that cussing is wrong so, uhm, parental supervision is advised or something?

This Meta will so far have three parts (this is part two), one for each season and is organised by episode so you could technically follow along

So here goes nothing, Season 2: (Also called „Why is Ryan naked so much?“)

Episode 2.01:

I’m not gonna talk a lot about this episode, because I feel like it’s been analysed to death already. Important to know is that Buck hasn’t yet given up on Abby coming back (see the shower scene), he is very lonely and there is a lot of homo- erotic tension.

Basically this episode goes like this:

Buck *after meeting Eddie*: nooooo, Dad, I don’t want a brother! He’s better than me! Put him back where he came from!

Eddie *takes one look at Buck*: Ui, you guys lied, he’s an ass - I like it! This is way better! We’re gonna be friends!

And then Buddie decides to something stupid to prove themselves (to each other) and they end up saving the day and bonding.

Also Eddie saying: „You guys hungry?“ after the Ambulance blows up? Iconic! He is such a little shit.

Episode 2.02 / 2.03:

(I’m putting them together because two-parter)

This episodes truly proves how hard they’ve already bonded, despite Buck not even knowing Eddie has a kid yet, especially from Eddie’s point of view: I actually think he started seeing Buck as his partner first. 

I love how he always takes charge, even in his first episode and expects Buck to go along with it - which Buck does (after some initial reluctance), because Buck is good at following orders and trusts Eddie. It might be an army thing, probably is an Eddie likes control thing. What is truly unique about Buddie, is the fact that Eddie defers to Buck’s judgement as needed, something he doesn’t do with anyone else, I think, unless the chain of command tells him to. Just look at how annoyed he is by Ali and her interfering.

That being said it really isn’t all to relevant for this meta, except to say: Interest- ing how fast they trusted each other and became a unit - I guess it’s true what they say: birds of a feather flock together.

Episode 2.04:

Here we get our first real insights into Eddie’s character (aside from that he is a little shit and likes to take charge) as well as some very nice shots of the man’s body, proving my theory that someone in charge really wants to get busy with Ryan Guzman. Which I am not exactly complaining about.

I do think however it’s a very noticable shift from the way they treat the other young, attractive guy in the cast. I talked about this a little in the first part of this Meta, how they went out of their way to hold Buck accountable and make him relatable, but refused to bank on his sex appeal, aside from a few scenes which mostly were about explaining why Abby reached out to him (and uh, we do not need to talk about how creepy that really was, do we?). Eddie though really gets sexualised from the get go. Or maybe that’s just me and I missed something? (Someone with more insight on such topics take the wheel? Because that really isn’t my area of expertice and I don’t wanna say anything false)

A main difference between Buck and Eddie at this point (or in general) is that Buck is always looking for connection. He craves emotional intimacy but it scares him because he cares too much and people keep leaving so he searches out physical intimacy - or he used to. Actually by Season 2 Buck is actively looking to connect emotionally with another person.

Eddie on the other hand isn’t even on the same level as Pilot!Buck, because he avoids both physical and emotional intimacy (except with Buck because, you know, steam engine). The episode implies that it might be caused by Shannon leaving, but the rest of Season 2 and specifically Season 3 show us that it’s an Eddie thing (likely caused by his upbringing if you fast forward to 3.15). And it really makes me want to know how Shannon and Eddie met and how long they had been dating before she got pregnant. Probably not that long tbh.

One thing to notice about the episode is that it parallels Eddie both with Buck (neither wants to date one of those girls, both deflect about their reasons) and with Abby - watch 1.03 and 2.04 back to back, both are about a character taking care of a special needs family member, both have another family member consider them stuck when they themselves do not and both feature Buck trying to help (passively by talking to Abby on the phone vs. actively by having Eddie and Carla meet)

Also as I pointed out in another post the conversation about dating is kind of similar to the car conversation, and I really am clowning now - which is why I will not try and parallel the conversation between Maddie and Buck with the one between Bobby and Buck in 1.09!

I still don’t fully understand the need for that scene (you know which one) aside from being another instance where the boys get sexualised and giving us our first insight into Eddie romantically and also the first time he uses Christopher as a shield (also not the last).

The general take away from the episode is that Eddie is bad at asking for help and Buck is bad at asking for permission which means they fit really well - because Eddie doesn’t have to voice his needs and Buck doesn’t have to feel bad about steamrolling him.

In terms of the overall theme of this meta your main takeaway from this episode should be:

Buck - no longer substituting physical intimacy for emotional intimacy but also not seeking out emotional intimacy, both because he has a connection through Maddie and is building one with Eddie but also because he still considers himself spoken for, though the episode ends with him realicing he might not be (and then he keeps realising, because he is one stubborn mf).

Eddie - avoiding both physical and emotional intimacy and using Christopher to deflect, mainly because he doesn’t have the time for either (but still getting a connection through Buck, thanks to someone just punching right through his boundaries)

Episode 2.05:

no relevance, our boys are barely in it

Episode 2.06:

Well, if you want to write about Buddie crumbs than yeah, definitely important. Also, you can draw a definite parallel between Abby and Taylor, because Buck knew both their voices before he saw their faces and built an emotional connection to those voices. This fits because, well, Buck is afraid of emotional intimacy, but when it’s just a voice it’s easier for him to let himself be vulnerable cause it’s not an actual person.

Plus, considering the thing with Taylor is one sided prior to their meeting, he isn’t actually cheating on Abby. Or so Buck thinks. (Also Taylor doesn’t have a chance to hurt Buck and leave him because you know, she is not aware he exists?)

Also Eddie talks about becoming a firefighter because he missed the camaraderie of the army - aka the emotional connection he had with his squadron (is that the right term?). So technically he did actively try and seek it out - to a point at least. Because, as I will discuss in Part 3, Eddie may consider the 118 his family but his relationship with the other three firefighters in not on the same level than the one he has with Buck.

Episode 2.07:

Let’s all give a warm welcome to Shannon Diaz! I like Shannon, I think she is great (I also think she and Eddie are similar because they both run away from problems which is why they would never work out - unlike another possible relationship mentioned sporadically in this Meta, hint hint ;) ... okay, moving on)

We learn that „not in the picture“ means Eddie is still married, which begs the question how much Eddie has told Carla and the 118 about Shannon up to this point (as little as possible), what they assume about her (probably the worst) and if Eddie ever sets the record straight (I’m assuming yes, because while Eddie doesn’t share - Eddie is also protective of his family and Shannon is his family for better or worse - I really wish they didn’t kill her off and instead played out the divorce storyline because there was so much chance for growth! Although that was probably too similar to Athena and Michael, which is why they didn’t do it. So they fridged her. Damn, and I am still salty about it.)

I really love when she comes to the house, because we learn so much about them as a couple. Like how her eyes grow warm when he opens the door but Eddie’s don’t but then he goes in to hug her (and you can really tell that Ryan Guzman is an athlete in the way that he always acts with his whole body and conveys so much through movement). And the fact that Shannon immediately pushes to meet Christopher (probably because with Eddie you need to push, because he is very stubborn and also in need of control), and her saying she never thought Eddie would be into something so fancy? Yet another insight into Eddie’s character and into his upbringing, which while probably not poor seems to have been fairly modest.

Also love how they fight almost right from the get go, implying that it is their normal (as proven in 3.15). They really never stood a chance!

There is a lot of backstory we get through their fighting, both at the house and at the school, most notably that even in marriage Eddie was never able to fully open up to Shannon - aka be emotionally intimate with her. Which made her feel very alone.

And I don’t wanna defend Shannon and her actions because other people have said it before and this is not what this Meta is about but I can see her point of view. With Eddie and the way he just always needs to be in control and make the decisions she probably thought she had to do something drastic to get him to notice her and her struggles.

Interestingly enough Eddie is emotionally vulnerable with Shannon at the end when he tells her that he understands why she left and that he misses her, but then he immediately kisses her and look, we don’t know what happens next  but we can guess from the latter episodes.

And look, tbh with Eddie it’s a little bit harder to draw the line between physical and emotional intimacy than with Buck because Eddie’s love language is touch and actions, so technically in a way he is always emotionally intimate when he is physically intimate (probably why he didn’t wanna go out with any of the girls in 2.04 - Eddie, different to Buck, can not just separate feelings from sex, while Buck has a hard time reconciling the two)

On Buck’s side of this Meta he finally comes to terms with Abby leaving, which doesn’t have too much relevance for this meta except there are a lot of parallels between Buddie in terms of: how long is too long to wait - because while Eddie pretends to have given up on Shannon, he actually hasn’t, whereas Buck outwardly is still waiting for Abby but on the inside has given up hope - something they both come to terms with in this episode

Episode 2.08:

Fun fact: The german title of this Episode is Lovestorys. Can you guess if there is anything of relevance in it?

Okay, first off for the millionth time, in case you haven’t read part 1 or you aren’t convinced yet or maybe you just forgot: Evan „Buck“ Buckley was never a sex addict. Kay? Good.

Also, remember when I said the show doesn’t sexualise Oliver the way it does Ryan? Yeah, this episode exactly. Buck has sex twice and we see less of his body than of Eddie just getting out of bed. Is it a contract thing? Was Ryan always running around naked on set? Did Oliver refuse to take his shirt off? Is he always cold because he’s vegan? Should I figure out Twitter just to ask the cast these questions?

(Also, remember when I said with Buck it’s mostly Girl on top, yay, it stays true)

In terms of actual relevant story, there’s that woman on the freeway (highway? Idk guys, I’m not from the US) reinforcing that Buck has finally accepted that Abby and him are over and then there’s the Taylor Kenny - story, which is sort of just beating the bush of sexual vs emotional intimacy with Buck trying for the latter and only finding the former (remember the Brunette from the Pilot? Yeah, that’s why I’m reminding you).

What I like is the fact that, after spending so much time calling out Buck 1.0 (and they should, because stealing a fire truck? Twice? Babe, for realsies?), this episode went: look, maybe girls like meaningless sex, too? Although, technically they have been telling us from the the beginning, that those girl were using Buck in the same way he was using them (again with the Brunette) - Buck just never understood that until Taylor.

We also get the soulmate scene with the very sweet couple, once again, rein- forcing how lonely Buck is and how much he is craving love and a connection and stability. That really is what his character boils down to at the end of the day: a lost kid trying to find his place in the world. And now I’m sad.

As for the Ali storyline, oh man, I’d really rather ignore it? Not because I have anything against the character per sey it’s just - we get to see their first meeting and then 5 episodes later their first date and by the end of the season they are in love love except by Season 3 she is gone? And in between she is hardly ever mentioned? So I really don’t know how to comment on their relationship in terms of this meta and what it means for Buck except: I think it was one of those right times right moment kind of things and Buck is sort of transfering a lot of his wishes and needs and feelings onto her, but their relationship has a weak foundation, which is why it ended so fast (except we don’t know how fast it ended because there is a 5 month gap between Season 2 and 3 and the breakup gets mentioned one (1) time. Soooooo...)

And Eddie, well, he was in the episode.

Episode 2.09:

I like this episode a lot and it tells us so much about Hen’s issues, but in terms of this meta: no relevance!

Sidenote: I do always forget they did Hen before they did Chim. Then again this episode in general feels very disconnected because there was no prompting, no connection to the present.

Episode 2.10:

Ah, yes, that one! The gift that keeps on giving in terms of Eddie and this meta (and also Buddie, but I’m trying not to be ship-y around here)

(One tiny sidenote though, I do think we see Eddie roll of off Shannon, and, while I don’t want to reinforce some stereotype about Top and Bottom, because I am not a gay man and therefore not qualified to comment, with Buck it’s generally girl on top? So Buck usually lets his partner set the pace while Eddie prefers to be the one in control? Okay, you know what, let’s just say it fits with their characters and maybe they match and leave it at that?)

(also, again with the Ryan shirtless, I mean, not that I am complaining, it’s just ... yeah, please, someone who knows this stuff come talk to me about it and explain because I don’t know and maybe I am seeing things?)

(sidenote #3 with actual relevance: They did not mention Buck’s girlfriend even once. They never do until the final.)

First of, this episode proofs what I said before: With Eddie there is no separating Sex and feelings. It is interconnected („We are working things out.“).

Also there is a point to be made about Eddie and control. So far we have always seen Eddie be the one in control and make decisions and this is our first real indicator that it actually bothers him, that maybe he wants someone else to tell him what’s right or wrong, too.

I’m gonna fast forward a bit, because we are nearly at the end of Season 3 irl and so far we have seen Eddie ask for help several times but only with two people - Buck and Lena - he actually takes the advice. I don’t want to say too much because it really fits better in Season 3, but wether you ship them or not, it is noticeable that out of everyone Buck is the one Eddie let’s help the most. The one he trusts the most.

(Man, they are both just two lost boys looking for their home, aren’t they? (and now I am sad again.))

There is also the topic of trust brought up, which you know, we hear about a few times from Eddie, and it really is such a big thing for him, isn’t it?

To fast forward again, that is one big difference between Eddie and Buck. Both struggle with self worth and trust but while Buck’s biggest problem is that he doesn’t trust people to like him, if they actually get to know him (or if they even want to get to know him), Eddie just plain old does not trust people? Because Eddie is a pessimist, so he doesn’t even try to connect, while Buckeroo trusts way too much and too easily and he is such an optimist and gives away everything and then he still isn’t enough - and then and only then does he give up hope (which is something we see happen in canon maybe twice? With Abby, maybe with Ali, and with Christopher, but again, Season 3 you guys!)

These two really are the different sides of the same coin, huh?

In relevance to this Meta, Eddie is trying very much this whole episode to be open and vulnerable and he struggles so much because he is very scared. The main issue with Eddie is always (and specifically with Shannon) by making himself vulnerable, he opens Christopher up to getting hurt as well (and vice versa because he can’t let Shannon into his son’s life without letting her into his own life) and this is what we see him struggle with in this episode and also what intensifies his already existing issues with intimacy throughout the show in general, his need to protect his son. 

It should be noted that in the end Eddie puts Christopher’s wishes above his own well-being which is in fact what he will always do because Christopher is the most important person in his life.

As for Buck in this episode, well, after having so much development in his last episode, he really was there more as a sounding board for other characters. However I will mention that, after the show points out the whole thing is none of his business twice, Eddie then turns around and makes the Shannon thing Buck’s business, because well, connected and all that. Trusting and giving up control. Emotional intimacy. Just repeating myself now.

Episode 2.11: No relevance.

Episode 2.12: No relevance.

Episode 2.13: No real relevance.

There is the scene in the hospital between Buck and Eddie that reinforces the peas in a pot thing they got going on and a reverse from the Christmas Episode when Eddie asked Buck about what he should do. Here Eddie acts as the sounding board (even though Buck has already done the thing but then so has Eddie by hiding Shannon).

This is also yet another instance of Buck trying to help another person with no regard for his own safety but I’m with Eddie here: I have sisters as well. I too would do countless stupid things to save them with no regard to my own safety and I’m a girl - I was not raised on the believe that is was my job to protect them from harm like both Buck and Eddie probably were (because gender rolls).

Also Buck thinks it’s his fault that Doug even found Maddie and Eddie explains to him why its bull. To reinforce the whole connection thing, it is very noticeable that these two always give each other exactly what the other needs - with Eddie from the get go always working on building up Buck’s self worth and Buck always lending a hand to Eddie and taking control when needed (remember Carla? That was Buck taking control for Eddie because Eddie didn’t know what to do).

There is also the short scene when Shannon comes to the hospital and it prob- ably did a lot to help rebuild Eddies trust in his wife.

Episode 2.14:

STOP MAKING EVAN BUCKLEY WORRY ABOUT HIS FAMILY 2k21 (because it’s too late for anything before that)

It’s also our first real: Eddie can be a dumbass, too sighting and there is that one scene (you know which one) which in text is not shippy at all, but ended up in every gifset because Oliver is looking at Ryan like he wants to eat him alive.

Aside from that, this episode really isn’t about them and that’s okay.

Episode 2.15: Crime is hard. That is all.

Episode 2.16: No relevance.

Episode 2.17:

First of all, Eddie is not shirtless? At the beach? Damn, what’s wrong, 911? Is it because Gavin was there? Have you used up all your contracted shirtless scenes by now? Did Ryan find out he was the only one running around set half naked?

Also poor Eddie, you know, you’d think getting married your done having those: what are we - conversations and then bam: there it is again. He really can’t catch a break, can he?

Also I know it’s been said before, but I’ll say it again: Eddie Diaz is not in love with Shannon. Maybe he has never been or maybe he just stopped at some point, but right then and there he isn’t in love with her. He does however love her deeply (she is after all the mother of his son) and she is his family which is sort of where the problem in their relationship lies. Because Eddie, who has problems with trust and intimacy, frankly doesn’t care enough about Shannon (and also doesn’t trust her enough) to try and be open and vulnerable with her, which is what he needs to be in order for them to work, a fact that Shannon seems to be aware of and have accepted.

(Because if you have to wait for a sign on what to do in your relationship, yeah, you already know - you’re just not accepting it.)

And this episode is so heartbreaking and I just had to stop myself from ugly crying because Shannon loves Christopher so very much. And I just hate that they killed her off, so in my mind I have already half plotted a fix it fic in which she survives because that was just unnecessary angst.

Though that’s the topic of another post.

In terms of the relationship-story I am similarly floored as I am by the „Help!“ scene because (at least for me) this is the first time I have seen media really address that yes, you can be a good parent and still not be ready for a serious relationship because those two things are very different. Sure, you sometimes see examples of it through subtext but never before has it been so outright stated.

And I like that both Shannon and Eddie ask themselves that question, but come to a different conclusion - or actually they don’t. Like I said above, for Eddie this relationship fits because it’s easy and he doesn’t have to change or better adapt. He can just keep avoiding the hard stuff (being vulnerable) and still have the good stuff (sex). And then Shannon might be pregnant again and look at his speech at the restaurant: He is basically saying our child is awesome, so we should get back together because if we make such awesome children than we can’t be that bad together. And that is so very wrong, which Shannon understands.

The problem is, that Eddie doesn’t fully understand why their marriage hasn’t worked in the first place. If you tie it into 3.15 Eddie Begins, I think for Eddie, the reason why Shannon left him was a little to get back at him for leaving her and a lot about feeling left alone and being unable to cope with raising their child alone, but all of that is gonna be different now because he will be there for her physically and emotionally as he is no longer in the army! So the issue is solved. They should be a family again. Even without a new kid. After all: they love each other.

And look, those are all fair reasons and true but the thing Eddie doesn’t understand about relationships in general and his marriage to Shannon in particular is that she also needs him to be emotionally vulnerable with her. Shannon needs Eddie to let her be there for him, just like he is trying to be there for her. Because relationships are always a two way street.

SO obviously this is where the episode ended. There were no more scenes af- ter that. Nope. Bit weird how it was so short but you do you, 911, you do you!

And well, Buck was there too.

Episode 2.18:

I’m just gonna come out and say it: Ramon and Helena are bad parents. Flying to your daughter-in-law’s funeral only to bad mouth her and then try to take your son’s son away again? Yeah, I do not like your style. I wonder how much of Eddie Begins was already planned at this point or if they built that plot about his family for 3.15 based on this episode. Huh. We might never know. (except Twitter)

Also me thinks Eddie choose LA because of Pepa and Abuela, not because of Shannon. She was probably just a bonus.

As for Buck (and Ali): the actors seem to have had fun doing those scenes? I guess? Other than that it’s a little cringy and very out of nowhere and probably more caused by the show having money left over and deciding to built a new set. ANd damn what a set. I wonder how Buck is supposed to be able to afford that because that apartment has probably about 50-75m2 considering there is a kitchen and a living room as well as a room behind the living room and probably an extra room in the upper floor as well (someone do a floorplan and also tell me why Buck needs so much space and wether they think I could move in with him. My apartment is not this nice and LA isn’t that long a commute).

Point being I don’t know why they brought Ali back in the first place, especially in this episode. She was never mentioned after their first date, so why? Just to give people something to discuss during hiatus?

There was no point to have those two incredibly lovey dovey scenes only to have that scenes about what he wants to do next because all those scenes? Would have worked just fine with, you know, his sister (except a little different because incest). Who actually has the what if you can’t go back to being a firefighter - scene with him. So why have a girlfriend you barely introduced and never used before? I’m not mad, 911, just confused! (Fuck me, I really am getting twitter)

As for the topic of this meta, there really isn’t much too tell. Ali honestly doesn’t figure into things except to create more abandonment issues.

I should point out that this episode reinforced the whole Buddie connection thing - from Eddie holding Buck’s hand the whole while he’s pinned to saying „Almost (back to normal)“ to Buck going to Eddie’s ceremony despite probably still being on somewhat of a bed rest.

Other than that, that’s it for Season 2. Whew!

Before I let ya’ll off the hook, though (look, you’ve read it this far, you can now just bear it a bit longer) I wanna comment real quick:

Compared to Season 1 Buck barely had any character development (mainly because he had so much in Season 1 and sometimes stuff like that needs to settle - real life would be the same way)

Eddie however has nearly no development at all and in fact as of Season 3, not a lot has changed in that regard. His issues just became more obvious. Which is something I actually like a lot, because one: he went through a lot of shit in a fairly short amount of time and two: he is such a stubborn and reserved character, anything else wouldn’t be in character and ultimately feel rushed. Plus, because this is his personality it’s feels like we’re actually getting to know him like you would a person in real life? Piece by piece, no unnecessary exposition. Or maybe that’s just me, I don’t really know anything about storytelling.

I also want to comment on Buddie real quick because it would be dishonest if I didn’t and also it’s just glaring me in the face:

The thing is, while I do not necessarily believe they have any intention of making them romantic (because I have been burned too often and just recently by a show that liked to praise itself for its diversity (so a heartfelt fuck you to Sera Gamble and who ever decided to kill off Quentin Coldwater, because that character mattered so much and you destroyed it)), I do think we are right when we talk about connection and parallels and being each others person and just generally being each others closest relationship. Because they parallel their stories so much and they connect them so often and they did do it from the get go like as early as Episode 4 - which was already written and probably already shot by the time Episode 1 aired. So there. I said it. Buddie is real, wether it’s platonic or romantic, it is real. And that also matters!

(although of course if they went with romantic? That would matter a bit more! Tim Minear, listen to me, you could make TV history! This would be bigger than Supergirl making the sister gay in the second season! Ya’ll would be legends, revered by fans for years to come! Also I’d bake you a cake?)

And there you have it! Season 2! We made it! And only like 2000 words more than Season 1.

Can you believe at this point I have written nearly 10.000 words on these two exceptional characters and their issues? And it’s technically only one issue, like I’m ignoring so much stuff just glaring at me right now!

(also on a side note, this is where I tag @angelcamael , who asked me to do so and @greyhello because she inspired me to write this meta in the first place and while it is now ... no longer about that original topic, I’m still gonna tag her)

[internetremix]

If you guys could be any non Legendary Pokemon, what would you be and why?

2This one ended up VERY LONG so discussion below the cut:

Kristen: Um. Oh no this is hard. My kneejerk reaction to these is always Mew because Mew is my favorite Pokemon. Smol kickass pink cat, excellent.Phill: Bidoof. Easy. Hands down objectively best PokemonKristen: I'm just imagining Bidoof with a Phill beard now. Amazing. BUT I CANNOT PICK A LEGENDARY POKEMON SO. Uh.  Um. I mean Charizard is super cool and then I could be a big badass dragon but like I CAN'T BE A BIG?? THAT WOULD BE HARD I'd probably be super clumsy and burn shit. ...So I also can't be Fletchling cause then I'm also gonna burn shit on accident. Dragonair is super neat but like THEY LONG I feel like I'd get tangled up. Espeon and Umbreon are cool?? Uh maybe an Espeon?? They seem too cool for me.  I'm bad at this, I haven't played Pokemon in like a million years and I get self conscious every time I pick something cool cause I'm like "no I'd fuck up being cool". Slyveon maybe?? My fiance just said I'd be a Plusle but I don't accept it.

...fuck it Espeon. Espeon is neat but also it cute fuck it live ur dreams to be kinda cool.Atwas: It's okay Kristen. Charizard is only 5'7". But I guess even that would be a massive jump in height. :^)Kristen: ListenAtwas: :^)Kristen: RudeUprising: idk what i would BE, i know my favorite pokemon but thats chepap. my brother said shiny alolan ninetails bc it is pink, white, and has flowy hair so that sounds accurate.Alex: My favorite pokemon is magikarp but i would probably be exploudKristen: And now I'm just imagining Magikarp with Alex's hair.Jojo: ugh. why do you have to ask me this. now I have to get out my list of literally every pokemon... Either Eevee, Dratini, or Chatot. OR RIOLU! riolu is a goodie. I have  a feeling Scott would be a Buneary but that's not my place to say.Kristen: Good choices JoojJojo: /);w;(\Split: Kristens a torchic that never evolves lmaoKristen: NO ...maybe.Jojo: I actually thought about it. I have the perfect pokemon for youKristen: ...alright, hit me.Alex: Ok.

Kristen: OW! Alex why? ;A;Alex: You said hit me.Split: PffffhahahaJojo:  #742, Cutiefly.

Kristen: ...I mean. It is smol and blonde, which I currently am.Split: Yep. It you. Congrats.Kristen: SIGH I mean. It’s very cute.Jojo: By the way I think that’s it’s actual size.Split: LMAOJojo: OH MY GOD IT’S LITERALLY KRISTEN

Kristen: NOSplit: I call being the trainer of this band of misfitsKristen: I’M SMOL BUT NOT THAT SMOL!Jojo: You are that smol.Split: Joj shes like an inch or two shorter than youJojo: NO?? SHE’S LIKEKristen: HA!Jojo: SHH! THAT’S NOT TRUEKristen: IT’S TOTALLY TRUEAlex: "The wild Kristen eats approximately ten times her body weight each day"Split: If only.Jojo: ohmygodkristenI found your other one

Kristen: NOSplit: Joj that ones youKristen: He's right it's smol and blueAlex: yeah that's youJojo:  NO IM A RIOLUSplit: Which one was thatAlex: babby lucarioJojo: That boy

Split: But are you sureJojo: YES THAT'S MEKristen: Why do you get to be the cool oneAlex: i still think dratini is best choice for jojKristen: I agree.Split: Are you baby martial artist or baby huggy bearJojo: I AM STRONG YOU FUCKAlex: huggy bear it isSplit: But do you fightJojo: YESSplit: BullshitJojo:  DUKE UP YOU CHEEKY POPPETSplit: AightKristen: I can't believe Jooj is a huggy bearJojo: NoOooOo IM DRATINISplit: Thats the snake one right? The long blue dragon snake.Alex: 

Jojo: yeSplit: Oh yuh thats also joj. I still think huggy bear but ill settle for dratini.Jojo: even looks like my fursona holy shitSplit: Secrets outJojo: MOTHERFUCKER YOU HUUGGY BEAR. it's not really a secret anymoreSplit: It never wasssssKristen: I can't believe Jojo gets to be a fucking dragon and I'm a tiny fly that eats 10 times its bodyweight. Oh it's bug/fairy. I guess that's interesting.Jojo: hehehefairyAlex: real talk i based it on the math that an average human eats 2.5 kg of cooked food per dayKristen: Huh, interestingSplit: We gave you so many options other than the .4 inch bug thing kristenKristen: ....I mean I can see Cutiefly, Fletching or Torchick tbhJojo: OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS ABSOLUTE UNIT

HIS NAME. IS BUZZSWOLE.Kristen: lmao that looks like a Digimon. Is that real?Walrus: He is real. And he will punch your spirit.Kristen: SOUNDS FAKE BUT OKAlex: you question the might of our lord and savior buzzwoleJojo: no he'll punch everything and then literally use your spirit as a sweat rag! LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN JOJO ASS CHARACTER!Split: It took me a whole 2 seconds to realize you meant the anime and not yourself(edited)Alex: our joj does have bizarre adventures to be fairSplit: You right you rightJojo: :,)Split: I could just hear your soul crackJojo: I'm glad. anyway look at this other kristen pokemon.

Kristen: No, I am drawing the line, no. You can't keep googling "what's the most harmless looking dust mote of a pokemon" and then say IT'S KRISTENJojo: NOO THAT'S NOT TRUE I'll tell you what. if you were a legendary pokemon you'd be Jirachi. that mf is p o w e r f u lKristen: Aw gosh. Wait didn’t we say MG would be edgy jirachi?Alex: her original character a jirachi-darkrai fusionJojo: I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT DARKRAI or a very smol GiratinaKristen: I do not know enough about this pokemon to comment.Alex: Giratina is Pokemon Satan.Kristen: Ah. Okay. Of course. Of course Pokemon Satan is a thing.Alex: 

Kristen: ...Oh it’s MG.Split: I distinctly remember pokemon satan ending up being a good guyJojo: so was darkraiKristen: I can't believe you just spoiled DMP and now I gotta cancel it.Alex: Satan: He's An Alright Guy!Split: P sure darkrai killed kidsKristen: ...it's fine don't worry about itAlex: Movie Darkrai was alright I thought? There are a whole lot of child murderin' pokemon out there to be fair.Split: Oh movie darkrai was futily attempting to stop the collapse of the universeIf i remember rightJojo: he also became attached to a childSplit: Big shrug on that sub plot its been yearsAlex: we have one hundred percent abandoned the original question. welcome to internet remixKristen: Yeeeep. Getting back on topic, I think Split would be Absol or Houndoom.Jojo: OOOOHHH I didn’t even think of AbsolSplit: Nah im the trainer

Alex: but consider: girafarigSplit: What isAlex: mostly i chose it because "aesthetic"

Kristen: PFFFT HAHAHASplit: Nah. Meanwhile, Kristen callin out my favorite pokemon as a kid. Regardless ive already grabbed a hat, tell tale sign of any trainer. Ive started walking the path every 13 year old must walk in their livesKristen: Pretty sure trainers start at 10?Split: Nah i mean im leaving my region for new boundsKristen: So brave. Anyway I’m trying to think of others. I'm trying to think of others. My brain keeps telling me that Alex is Entei. Tol and floofy and can burn things. But that's a legendary.Jojo: oooo I think he had a good pick of  exploud. Buuut I also think he'd be an Ursaring. 

Dawn: For me I tried to think of literally any water pokemon for me but lets be real here

Alex: I mean.Dawn: b0rfJuno: If I could be any nonlegendary mon it would be Golurk1) Giant Robot2) Can fly with rocket boosters3) Causes earthquakesTex: Umm. Hm. Something that was a mix of fire, dragon, and psychic. Like I know u can't get three. But listen.Walrus: w-walrein exists. so i meanJuno: MY TIME HAS COME

Walrus: HAHHhhhhWHEN THE FUCKHUHWHATI FORGOT OR DIDN'T SEE THISHONAtwas:  YO that's so fucking cool! To answer the prompt, I'd probably be a Zoroark.Kristen: Good choices.Scott: Could BE a non-legendary?Jojo: Hold on wait. let me guess: bunearyScott: No, that's what I would want to HAVE. Hm. This is actually tough. Maybe Altaria? It's a flying Pokemon that sings beautiful melodies and has a relatively average speed.I don't know. I'd want to be a Pokemon that was kind and graceful with musical qualities, if at all possible. So yeah, I guess AltariaKristen: I can see that.Juno: Also you're fluffyShyner: Hooooly shit there's a lot of stuff hereI feel bad about adding to this massive wall of content but I'm just putting down for the record that I would definitely be basic bitch eevee. I'll change my form for you, just please love me :,)Kristen: ;A; I LOVE EEVEE JUST THE WAY EEVEE ISJuno: eevee... babey

[baekhvuns]

I read a series of fanfics called The Cities or something and it was a series of one-shots each happening in a different European city. Kinda Before Sunrise style, they weren't connected so the couple kept meeting in every city under different circumstances, they had different dynamics too, it was really good especially if you're into travelling and already saw yhe places mentioned. <3

Delulu delivery is here! It was a fanfiction seriously and I wonder if I actually read a fanfic like that and my mind just decided to play it out for me... Here's the re-cap I sent to my friends, hope it's somewhat coherent. https://imgur.com/a/kg4Oksb

Yes! I'm glad you have taste aka you're a TB and Suho hater, I knew I could trust you! I didn't mind Suho at first but once Mr Han Seojun showed up I ditched that mf real quick, lmao. Seriously they had so much chemistry, but Jug jeopardised their relationship so much because she was so insecure and Seojun also had his own issues going on, ugh. But damn Suho and Jug became a bit toxic at some point and I couldn't believe people didn't see that...

You're not prepared for Tomorrow, I mean each episode is sad, but some hit me especially hard. And the crumbs and unanswered questions... Yeah but THAT ship has so much potential, it's criminal we're not seeing more of them. AND Seonghwa grim reaper AU please, someone 🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻

Oh no, not an Amber supporter 🤡 but yes I can imagine, either some weirdo guy simping for her or a fake woke feminist who thinks men can't get abused.

I know TWO nights in a row, and her brain came up with a long-haired Hwa. And for what??? I don't remember the JK dreams but one of them happened on his birthday and I had no idea it was his birthday, so? 🤫 Awwww, that's so cute though, the Yunho dream

I didn't get to approach Taemin I don't think 😭😩

And for some reason I'm sometimes a bit mean to Hwa in my dreams or he ends up crying wtffffff. Pretty sure I didn't see Harry and we probably didn't get the tattoos either, but at least we ate some pizza

I'm only seeing the angelic MILF and I love it. 🥰

Happy anniversary to 🐺 Hwa 😩

https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1524781002333515776?t=5A_8ndTGtWkfQyBw76BwBA&s=19

And this lil meow meow 🥺 look at him, kiss on the forehead coming his way

https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1524439363907555331?t=5XFyctAJVPXFZzlrCyXf8w&s=19

- DV 💖

HIHI!

I read a series of fanfics called The Cities or something and it was a series of one-shots each happening in a different European city. Kinda Before Sunrise style, they weren't connected so the couple kept meeting in every city under different circumstances, they had different dynamics too, it was really good especially if you're into travelling and already saw yhe places mentioned. <3

OH???? thats so cool?? like they keep meeting in different cities is like soulmate’s meeting in different au’s but connected together 😭😭😭 i will absolutely look into this !!!

Delulu delivery is here! It was a fanfiction seriously and I wonder if I actually read a fanfic like that and my mind just decided to play it out for me... Here's the re-cap I sent to my friends, hope it's somewhat coherent. https://imgur.com/a/kg4Oksb

DELULU DELIVERY LESSGO 😭😭😭

“his long legs pushed my chair a few times,” ISNT THIS BBHWA FBWMFBWK ANON U EXPERIENCED BBHWA??????? 😭😭

“I kept staring at his back and NECK and peeking at his drawings,” SLAP IT SLAP IT SLAP IT FBWMBFK

“so it looked like this: S******A btw I wish I was joking but my birthname starts with S and ends with A and has 8 letters too, lololol” OMF I JUST KNOW UR NAME IS SO PRETTY 😭😭 what a coincidence, mine is exactly that but with hongjoong (not the ending with g) and his last name 😭😭😭

“I felt angry and devastated cause everyone thought my good marks were due to me cheating and being 0a whore" — their words 🔫 Seonghwa didn't believe them though <3” BEST BOY 😭😭😭😭😭

“he said "if they already gossip about us, might as well" HELLO????? RHWKDH JAIL??? J A I L

“And I didn't get the scholarship, Seonghwa switched to art major, because he punched the disgusting professor, Imao.” LMFAOOOO THIS IS SO INTENSE BUT SO FUNNY AND CREEPY BUT CHAOTIC 😭😭

Yes! I'm glad you have taste aka you're a TB and Suho hater, I knew I could trust you! I didn't mind Suho at first but once Mr Han Seojun showed up I ditched that mf real quick, lmao. Seriously they had so much chemistry, but Jug jeopardised their relationship so much because she was so insecure and Seojun also had his own issues going on, ugh. But damn Suho and Jug became a bit toxic at some point and I couldn't believe people didn't see that...

U CAN ALWAYS TRUST HERE 😭😭 no fr,, the second they entered han seojun, like he took the helmet off?? every person in the kpop fandom fell IN LOVE with that man and as they SHOULD !!!! i was skeptical at who seojun would be so i was rooting for eunwoo’s bUT WHEN HE CAME I GONE. STOP THAT TOXIC THING IS SO TRUE??? LITERALLY NO ONE TALKS ABT HOW TOXIC THEY GOT??? seojun my man, was rOBBED 😭😭😭

You're not prepared for Tomorrow, I mean each episode is sad, but some hit me especially hard. And the crumbs and unanswered questions... Yeah but THAT ship has so much potential, it's criminal we're not seeing more of them. AND Seonghwa grim reaper AU please, someone 🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻

IVE HALTED WATCHING IT SIMPLY BC OF THIS 😭🔫🔫 i keeping seeing him on my fyp and iTS SO INTENSE???? HES so hOT FBWMFBWK HWA GRIM REAPER AU, ANON YOU WRITE IT WITH THAT UNIVERSITY HWA FIC FBWKFHEK SCREAMED

Oh no, not an Amber supporter 🤡 but yes I can imagine, either some weirdo guy simping for her or a fake woke feminist who thinks men can't get abused.

EXACTLY THAT 😭😭😭 its the very first lecture too so yOU KNOW THERES GOTS TO BE SOMEONE also apparently amber’s making johnny testify from her side?? 😭😭 can’t wait for cross examination to start

I know TWO nights in a row, and her brain came up with a long-haired Hwa. And for what??? I don't remember the JK dreams but one of them happened on his birthday and I had no idea it was his birthday, so? 🤫 Awwww, that's so cute though, the Yunho dream

TAKE HER RIGHTS AWAY IDC IDC THIS NOT FAIR SHE DREAMS ABT THIS AND THEN TELLS US TO BE JEALOUS 🔫 ANONS FRIEND 🔫 RIGHTS 🔫 GONE 🔫 jk dream, and if i tell u i have this uni au with jk where the reader was a senior and he was a junior who played basketball and he was cheeky asf and he would TRY to woo the reader by saying “u know my parents have a age difference too,” “oh really?” “my mom is older” “whats that gotta do with me?” “you’re older too, we ca-“ “nO”

I didn't get to approach Taemin I don't think 😭😩

NAURRRRRRRRR 😭😭😭😭 ULTIMATE BETRAYAL

And for some reason I'm sometimes a bit mean to Hwa in my dreams or he ends up crying wtffffff. Pretty sure I didn't see Harry and we probably didn't get the tattoos either, but at least we ate some pizza

ANON???? 😭😭😭😭😭 NAURR POOR GUY SOBBING 😭😭😭😭😭 okay at least u weren’t hungry in ur dreams too 😭😭

I'm only seeing the angelic MILF and I love it. 🥰 Happy anniversary to 🐺 Hwa 😩 https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1524781002333515776?t=5A_8ndTGtWkfQyBw76BwBA&s=19

THIS DAY PEAKED MY EXOTEEZ CRUMBS I WAS FUCKING SCREAMING FBWKFHWK his red hair 😩😩😩😩 reminds me of addicting kitten fjwkfhwk pls

And this lil meow meow 🥺 look at him, kiss on the forehead coming his way https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1524439363907555331?t=5XFyctAJVPXFZzlrCyXf8w&s=19

HE WAS SO 🤏🏼🤏🏼 TINY 😭😭😭 I WILL DO THE AGGRESSIVE KISSES HE DOES ON HIS FOREHEAD HE BETTER WATCH OUT #kisshwaontheforeheadsquad

im gonna kiss him

[sharknadoslutt]

Hey it’s rex-ol-boy here and I am here for shipping so here we go I am five foot six and I have lots of freckles and many big feelings and I love drawing and writing and reading and I’m a nerd who likes to think she’s a hard ass but really is a softie lol Could my ship be clone wars era, specifically clones? Thank you!!!!! I wanna know who my mutual ships me with (basically if it’s Rex or not lmfao)

Listen it literally took every fiber of my fucking being not to say “I ship you with Commander Tex” because it would have been GREAT but I love you so um here ya go babe @rex-ol-boy 

I ship you Captain Rex

Rex is pretty intense and needs a break from the, what he refers to as, ‘idiots’ on his team. So he went for a run in the city

What do you know, this adorable young things gets her bag stolen right in front of him. Rex, BEING THE KIND MAN HE IS, just immediately runs after the dude. After a good punch to the gut he brings you your bag and you, being the sweet thing you are, offer to buy him a drink. He refuses, of course, not wanting to socialize with a civie but more importantly he was very attracted to you

However, you insisted and insisted until he agreed

Four or five drinks later anyone who saw yall would’ve thought yall were old friends

You told him about this great place on the holonet where he could read books for free and at first he was like, “But isn’t that illegal?” and he dead ass recited the law as to why it was illegal, god bless my man. Anyway you tell him how it’s a great way to relax and um well he does. 

Along with the website (IS that what you’d call it?) and your contact info, he’s off.

Next thing you no a few weeks later he’s at your door wanting to talk about all these damn books he read

And as it happens more and more frequently, and eventually, it’s not about the books. He just wants to fucking see you

He wont admit it though, having affairs are totally against protocol but when he comes over one night while you’re a little under dressed and he’s a little, uh.. how do I put this gently… lonely! (Hasn’t had any time to himself to masturbate and incredibly fucking horny) you two fall into bed together and yeah it’s history

Rex is already loosing faith in the fight, might as well have a reason to fight for the damn Republic (Ya know, you)

He’s the most loyal mf and sends you messages from time to time when he’s away on whatever datapad he can get his hands on. Just telling you that he’s okay and that he misses you.

Probs gives you cheesy nicknames like, “Sunshine” and “freckles”

When he see’s you for the first time in a long time he’ll hold you down and kiss every single one of your freckles, or at least will try to until you push him away

After that though, once yall are done catching up and “I love you”, “I missed you”’s that boy is ready to touch your butt. 

He says something lame like. “Wow, imagine that-” And suddenly his hand is on your lap. “-Seems my hand has a mind of it’s own, sunshine.” and, yeah, he’d take off your shirt

A LITTLE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR MY MUTUTALS, WHICH I HAD A VERY FUN TIME WRITING BECAUSE I, too, AM A FUCKING HOE FOR THIS MAN

“I’ve got to get going, the boy’s will cause a ruckus if I’m not back by the time morning P.T. starts.” Rex pulled on his black pants and started to look around for his shirt.

“Oh, just a while longer~”

His whiskey brown eyes soften as he looked at her, still laying in the bed all comfortable in the covers. He’d stay here all day if he could even if they did nothing but stay in that bed.

“-I would if I could, you know that.”  He walked back to the side of the bed, leaning down to kiss her forehead. Well, that was the plan until he saw the smallest little piece of black fabric popping out from beneath the covers, just left of his lovers shoulder. “… Are you hiding my shirt?” 

“No.”

“Are you lying to me?”

“Would I ever lie to you?’

He cocked her a brow and his lay in a thin line. She couldn’t help but to imagine this was a look the rest of his team saw more than their fair share of.

“I dont have your shirt.” She started, blushing a bit as she sat up. “But you can just have mine.” She tugged off her own shirt, allowing her breast to bounce out into view. With a knowing smile she held out the article of clothing, looking up at the blond man.

The clone captain took in a deep breath, perhaps thinking over his exact actions, before actually doing anything.

“Kriff the P.T.” He growled before jumping back onto the bed, bouncing the brunette girl with a playful gleam in his eyes. He crashed his lips back into hers and started kissing her with hunger, she knew just how to tease him. 

When he grabbed one breast she let out a soft moan, delighted that she had won the battle. Or so she had though. 

Rex’s hand had shifted to her left side, only to run over a very familiar piece of fabric. Upon realizing it was his shirt he pulled away from the kiss, sat up, held up the piece of clothing, and sighed. 

“You are truly, one hell of a woman.”

“But you love me.”

“That’s the reason why I love you.”

[spkdnailbats]

Hyper-fixations!! (aka- my stan list)

yo so I've realized I always hyper-fixate on characters in media that I either relate to, wish to be like, or draw comfort from.... so bc I'm bored here's some peeps in this category:

•Taako (The Adventure Zone Balance) - want to be like - openly himself, multidimensional, fully realized creation, loved by many, charismatic, in a good and healthy relationship (thats also so supportive and cute and god wheres my gf version of kravitz???), unapologetic, went through some shit and came out different and with issues but is still just good, loves family, passionate

•Angus McDonald (The Adventure Zone Balance) - comfort character - hes just a sweet lil guy who just loves his weird found family and is just so smart and precious and i love him with my whole soul and being, makes me smile whenever he pops up

•Magic Brian (The Adventure Zone Balance) - comfort character - can never fail to make me laugh and smile

•Hurley (The Adventure Zone Balance) - relate to - a small ball of energy, typically a rule follower but likes to stray away sometimes, a gay!!, lowkey likes to race in my jeep (its only with my one friend and its not a legit race but we say it is and its v fun)

•Carey Fangbattle (The Adventure Zone Balance) - relate to / want to be like - tiny but big personality, a gay!!, fiesty, sneaky, tough cookie, loves a tall butch girl (i do not have a tall butch girl to love but maybe someday!!), badass little rogue (i wish)

•Virgil "Anxiety" Sanders (Sanders Sides/Thomas Sanders) - relate to - anxious ball of something, many people consider cute although deny it / dont believe it, self deprecating!!, needs a hug, tries to be intimidating but fails, the mom™ friend

•Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe) - relate to - felt lost, felt ostracized from friends (sometimes true sometimes not - gee, cognitive distortions are a bitch), found people and felt comfortable and at home with them, found family, self deprecating, separates self to not get hurt, wants to protect but also avoid, sad™

•Peridot (Steven Universe) - comfort character - had genuine growth as a character which is nice to see, is silly but also can be serious, makes me smile whenever i see her

•Howl (Howl’s Moving Castle) - relate to / want to be like - very much himself, overdramatic af (drama queen and a diva), sees the best in people, cares based on personality rather than looks (calls an old lady beautiful bc she has a good heart), a versatile lgbt (looks and acts like a gay but dates a pretty girl, the dream ngl), fashionable af and dyes hair fun colors

•Calcifer (Howl’s Moving Castle) - relate to - sassy little bitch, underappreciated until absolutely needed, small and typically seen as tame but can have a big personality at times

•Sophie Hatter (Howl’s Moving Castle) - relate to / want to be like - the odd one out, seen as ordinary, never the pretty one but always the average or forgettable one, always someone better and not often liked, when liked its always true and based on a beautiful personality, finds real love in an unlikely situation (wheres my love in life?), makes own path and doesnt care what people say/think, ambitious, does what needs to be done even if its hard, comforting maternal presence but also dominant and assertive when needed, gets shit done

•Kiki (Kiki's Delivery Service) - relate to / want to be like - is an outsider but finds her place eventually, inexperienced but trying her best, works hard in all she does, makes something of herself (i hope someday thats me), makes the best out of a bad situation

•Stitch (Lilo & Stitch) - relate to - lost, searching for home and family, feel constantly different from everyone else, runs away from problems before finally solving/fixing them

•Baymax (Big Hero 6) - comfort character - was there for hiro and did whatever possible the whole movie to help him (learning about grieving, sacrificing, etc), and there was a time in my life that I really needed that presence and didn’t have it that way at the time, but now 14 years later I’m in a much better state mentally but baymax still makes me cry bc he reminds me of stuff™, (tbh i got to “meet baymax” at disney when i was 16 and lowkey was so excited and cried a bit, and my friend bought me a stuffed animal baymax that afternoon for my birthday and i sobbed and carried it around in my bag for the rest of the trip)

•Hiro (Big Hero 6) - relate to - ((this is gonna get sad sorry ://)) so like hiro i lost a sibling (however i was much younger than hiro and my sibling was younger than me) in a way that it was inflicted by someone else but was “unintentional/collateral” and i didnt really deal with it for a while until i actually got help and started doing things again to get back into normal life. i sob beginning to end during bh6 bc i feel for hiro and i know what hes going through and what its like and it sucks

•Alice (Alice in Wonderland) - relate to - gets lost in own head a lot, kinda a wonky imagination, doesnt follow own advice (”i give myself very good advice, but i very seldom follow it”), happy doing own thing until lost or lonely which then leads to fear and anxiety, doesnt know who to trust, trying to find something that isnt easily found

•Oswald the Lucky Rabbit (Disney) - relate to - ((please look up oswalds story if you dont know who he is- in brief terms, he was a cartoon walt disney made and abandoned when he made his own studio (c. 1920s) and was replaced by mickey and was forgotten about until 2006)) cast aside, forgotten about, replaced, wants to belong

•Carson Phillips (Struck by Lightning) - want to be like / relate to - snarky and sarcastic bitch, does what he needs to in order to get shit done, a “penetrating personality” (literally a quote from the mf book), ambitious, goals bigger than anyone thinks they should be, makes morally ambiguous decisions to get what he wants

•Veronica Sawyer (Heathers) - relate to / want to be like - got some shitty friends who we dont really like but stick around with for convenience or something, has ambitions in life, stands up for what she believes in and for injustice and is generally a brave badass (i wish i was)

•Heather McNamara (Heathers) - relate to - lost, follows “friends”, tries to fit in with those around, sad™

•Elizabeth Swan (Pirates of the Caribbean) - want to be like - brave, stands up for what she believes in even if it might get her killed, tough (literally the pirate king), does what she wants cause she a bad bitch, tough, literally so pretty??, found true love in an unlikely place at an unlikely time, literally got married while fighting next to her true love vs the undead fish pirated while the ship is stuck in a whirlpool, badass af

•Kurt Hummel (Glee) - want to be like / comfort character - open about who he is, fashionable af, in the actual cutest couple on glee yall can fight me about it, learned to love himself then never stopped, a sassy queen always (i have so many of his mannerisms smh), went from cute twink to muscle boy and wow we love a glow-up, went from being bullied into submission and scared to being open and standing up for others even if he gets hurt, always made me smile, first real lgbt person i saw in the media and helped me embrace myself fully

•Klaus Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) - relate to - outcast, lotta mental health issues, music lover and bad dancer, headphones always on, bad experiences and trauma formed self, kinda lazy

•Vanya Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) - relate to - pushed aside, never a priority, taken advantage of, has own skill no one acknowledges, sad™

•Elphaba Thropp (Wicked) - relate to - cast out, different from everyone else, unique in own way, never the pretty one

----------------------------------------------------

and some honorable mentions of real people I connect with comfort and strive to be like in my day to day life (like ive taken on a lot of their mannerisms or sayings):

•Patrick Stump (Fall Out Boy) - literally the sweetest person ever, super talented in so many different ways, so positive and inspirational (esp about mental health)

•Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance, Umbrella Academy) - always accepting of people (esp lgbt!! gay rights!!), multi-dimensional, versatile talents (singer, song writer, artist, comic book writer)

•Mitch Grassi (Pentatonix/Superfruit) - so openly himself, genuine, verbal about mental health (esp anxiety and depression), phenomenal singer, so kind to everyone, unique, fashionable, sassy as hell, lgbt!!, shows dreams can come true

•Chris Colfer (Glee/Author) - super talented (singing, acting, writing), lgbt!!, snarky as hell, super sweet but also super funny, (tbh ive stanned him since like 2012 and hes the only celeb ive ever met and i will always stan that man)

•Hayley Kiyoko (Singer) - lesbian jesus, came out even though she was told it could ruin her career, so truly herself, open about lgbt issues and mental health, positive towards everyone, encourages everyone to open up and be unapologetically themselves

•Eugene Lee Yang (Try Guys) - authentically himself, isn’t afraid of what people thing, does his own thing even if its different and odd to some, lgbt!!, a shady bitch in the best way, has his own style and kills it always

•Daniel Howell (Youtuber) - open about mental health and most recently his past as well as lgbt experience, can make you laugh and cry at the same time somehow, more talented than he thinks he is, shows you can get through anything

[ecotone99]

[MF] Seasons of the Gunslinger

Genesis 1:3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

Sun-baked, sun fried, sunburned, sun destroyed. Just another goddamn day in the sun. Jesus, will this sun ever go down?

Finally the sun dips below the horizon and that ball of fire gives me the rest I’ve been hoping for. I give a tug on the reins and my horse stops.

My left hand removes my hat and my right works through my sweaty hair. A deep breath of the already cooling air fills my lungs. For the first time in many hours I really look at the country I’m passing through and appreciate its beauty. The rocks, covered with colorful lichen, poke out through the bluish sagebrush. Low juniper trees outline the washes and draws that work through this mesa like veins.

Ahead, I spot my campsite for the night. A low ridge about a mile off to the south. Ought to be some wood there and the orientation of the ridge should block the wind if it kicks up. I'll also have a great view of my back trail. Not that I am expecting pursuit but I will have plenty of good light for an hour or more anyway.

There is a cluster of large sandstone boulders that will shield the fire and a small patch of cheatgrass for my horse. My gun belt and hat are set to the side to take full advantage of the cooling air. The horse gets a rub down and then a small fire heats a large cup of water. I drop a chunk of hard tack and another of jerky in the boiling water. I eat this poor man’s soup as I watch nightfall cover my back trail. When full night arrives, I douse the fire and rinse the cup.

Time to lean against a rock and listen to the night. It is finally cool and my eyes drift closed.

I am not jerked awake. I’m just suddenly aware that I am awake. My eyes open and I see the waning gibbous moon splashing it’s silver light over the open plain. I am aware of my horse and can hear it breathing as it dozes.

I’m aware of something else. I am no longer alone.

My hand snakes out for the Walker Colt in its holster and the large pistol swings up. It settles on the dark apparition that sits against a boulder, some ten feet away.

The shadowy figure doesn't flinch. It does not react at all.

I wait. I have found it wise that when you’ve done what you need to do, waiting is the best thing to do next. It is also the hardest thing to do.

The silence stretches. I notice that it is now truly silent. A normal night, with its bugs and beasties, hums with life and quiet sounds. Now there is a true deep silence that is so rare in the natural world.

It seems odd that I can’t see the face of the figure. In the light of the moon I can see most things. This shape seems to swallow all light.

I wait.

The man-shaped thing waits.

“Alright, stranger, what brings you to my camp?” I guess I lose this waiting game but I’m still the one with the pistol.

Smoothly, the figure leans forward. Just for a moment, the hatless figure is just blackness and burning eyes. Then, as if it is moving out of a shadow that does not exist, I see fine, delicate features. Those eyes, they burn above an angelic smile for just a breath and then they resolve to a perfect black. The smile holds and I confirm my suspicion that this is a man.

“You called and I am here.” The smile remains as he speaks.

“I believe you're mistaken, friend. I’ve been actively avoiding folk for quite some time now. Can’t think of man nor beast I’d call to me.” My voice stays as steady as I would like, mostly.

“I have been called a beast, The Beast actually.” The smile seems to stretch even further, although it doesn’t seem possible. He chuckles a bit then and leans back. “And I suppose I am often mistaken for a man.”

“Listen Mister, I wouldn’t say I like killing but I have done it before. Please convince me not to shoot you just so I can go back to sleep.” I try to make sense of what the hell is going one but make no headway. I have never seen a man so comfortable with a steady hand holding a gun on him.

“Sean, let’s dispense with the banter and get down to business. I’ve had just about every threat imaginable leveled at me and yet… here I am.” My guest spreads his hands and executes a seated bow.

The name he calls me surprises me. I can’t remember the last time I was called by that name. Must have been in the old country, I am sure. Even on my Army papers I had put Michael instead. That name was easier to get rid of than my accent, but even that faded. It faded just like everything else, ground down in that war.

“Do you and I know each other, mister? ‘Cause I can’t seem to place you.” I am feeling the weight of my pistol so I lower my hand to a more comfortable position. “I haven’t heard that name in seven years or more.”

“Right, right, but I know your name, Not just the name you used in New York City and in the ‘Fightin’ 69th’. Not even the one you used back in Ireland. I know your true name. The one my Father called you when he breathed life into you.” The man tugs at his chin and looks up.”Shall I tell you some of my names or have you guessed yet?”

My mind scrambles and kicks like an armadillo digging his burrow. My heartbeats get faster and I feel something welling up inside me. A sick dizzy feeling that makes me shiver involuntarily. The gun sinks lower and I think…”Diabhal.” My mind slips to Irish in my surprise. “You’re Old Scratch aren’t you.”

The Devil’s smile seems to stretch again this time I know for sure no human could smile so wide.

“I’m not even thirty yet. Is it my time already?” My heart sinks, not sure if I want the answer.

“Oh, no. Sean Michael O’Flannery.” the way he says my name each syllable sounds like the strike of a bell reverberating in the back of my eyes. “Not your time. I’ll tell you a secret. Your choices change the time of your death all the time. Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.” He begins to laugh now. A deep melodious laugh that gets just a little shrill before it cuts off.

“So what is it that I can do for you then?” I say as I put the big Walker back in it’s worn holster.

“Oh young man we’ll get to that. We’ll definitely get to that. But first things at the beginning, end things at the end and my things all along the way. Let’s talk about your call and your desires first. We can save the other bits and pieces for dessert.” His hands begin to dance around each other in a washing motion.

“I didn't call…” I start to protest. He holds up his hand and shakes his head.

“Skip the silly and frankly, childish word games. We both know you wanted me to come to make you into something else. To make you unstoppable, a force of nature to bring justice and settle old wrongs. I really thought you would call me during the war. But you held so tightly to my Father then.” He sighs and shakes his head in such an over dramatic way it is almost comical. “Now you accept reality. Even though He is omniscient and omnipresent He rarely gets involved. But I am always here.”

I feel the old familiar rush. The anger and battle lust that has made me who I am and kept me alive. “He NEVER comes! Never answers!” The venom in my voice is fueled by all those memories bubbling suddenly to the fore. My breathing is fast and my hands clench.

The man who claims to be a fallen angel just smiles and nods approvingly. “Yes, Sean. You see, that is why I came. That right there. I am eternal and I have hated for so long. It is always refreshing to see it burn anew.” A pipe seems to appear from nowhere in his left hand and a lit match in his right. He leans back and puffs. “Eternal but busy, Sean. Do you want to hear my offer or not?”

"I'll hear your words and I will keep in mind you are the Prince of Lies as you go." I say.

"The Prince of so much more than lies but I accept your sceptical condition." He puffs again at the pipe and exhales a cloud of smoke so dense it seems solid. “Sean my lad, I have seen you. Seen your heart laid bare. I have heard you. I have heard that voice inside you that speaks only the truth."

"Cease your own word games and speak plainly." I say. "I'm tired and you have said you are busy. Let's get on with this so I can deny you and go back to sleep."

His finger tips touch beneath his chin with the pipe clenched in his teeth, his shark smile stretching again. "Ah, the sweet taste of hubris." He leans in and his eyebrows arch. "Sean, my boy; faith and fear both require you to believe in something that doesn't exist. I see you have put aside your faith. My offer is to take away your fear. Fear of death, fear of hurt, fear of failure all gone. I will make you immune to disease and plague. I will make you immune to damage from accident or violence. I wish to make you the Achilles of your day. An indomitable warrior who fears nothing on the earth. I will do this, not for your soul, but for your service. My Father has cast me down for my grievous offenses and I have long ago accepted that. My goal is not to add souls to my empire of pain and torture. I will earn the forgiveness of my Father by assisting the development of his creation. The term of service will be one hundred years. You will take my directions during this time and at the completion of the term you will go to your just reward."

He leans back and his smile turns into a smirk. He curls his leg to his chest. He rests elbow on knee and cheek on hand. Waiting.

My mind races. The possibilities and opportunities fill me and I ran through the things I might do. I have wished for this exact power over death so many times. I am suddenly shocked to realize I am instantly considering this. A deal with the devil.

Cautiously, I ask, "100 years of invulnerability in exchange for me doing things for you? I cannot be your slave for a century. There is no advantage for me."

He laughs and slaps his leg "Oh, no not a slave. Just when I say something needs done or someone needs taken care of, you do it."

"Too open ended." I scoff.

"How about once a month." He counters quickly.

"Four times, once per season."I fire back.

"Done." He says.

"I get to choose whether to do it or not." I push a little.

His face goes stern and cold. "Impossible." He says flatly.

"I had to try.' I grin.

His smile returns and his hand comes toward me in one graceful flowing motion,"Seal it." He says and the words are in my head as well as in my ears.

I stare at that hand. I think of all the tales about making a deal with the devil. Have I heard of one that didn't go badly in the end? Somewhere in my memory is a story of a Saint that renounced God and turned to the underworld for power. Later he was able to have an archbishop or cardinal burn his contract. Of course I know well the story of the fool Faustus who sold his soul and wasted the magic he was given.

"I become your assassin for a century. Four times per year, one for each season. In return I keep my soul but become immune to all damage, all the time?" I attempt to state the deal as I understand it.

"Yes." He says " I have things that need done and I judge that you can do what I need. I have tried other contracts when I had different aims but now…" he shrugs."Your soul is yours to do with what you choose. It is much more...entertaining that way. Besides I have others that must be collected. So they can begin their torment and before they do too much harm."

"How long do I have to make this decision." I ask.

"Until I leave. So a few minutes." His smile is huge.

Slowly I extend my hand. Thinking about what this means for me and for the things I have fought for in my life. As I take his hand in a firm grip, I can't help smiling. The smile feels huge and I am sure it stretches impossibly far across my face.

Second Timothy 3:1-5 “But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty.

Chilled to the bone, icy as a whore’s heart...cold as ice. Just another cold empty night. Jesus is the goddamn sun ever going to come up?

Finally the sun begins to lighten the sky and the temperature begins to rise. The truck rolls to a halt in the gravel. I brush the stray pieces of windshield off my lap.

I sit alone. It’s always my preference I suppose, but today it seems particularly fitting. I’m expecting company but I will enjoy this peace while I can. I reckon I’ll come out of this deal just about the way I went in. The warm sunshine filters through the trees and the morning breeze stirs my hair.

The road I have been driving down has ended. I know I lost my pursuers some hours ago but I just kept on driving. A feeling of being on the edge of a cliff comes over me. It is the date I have thought of a million times.

I don’t bother getting out. I just lean back into the upholstered seat and stare out the ragged hole that used to hold the windshield. My pack sits on the seat next to me and I reach and pull it over. I dig in one of the side pouches and dump out a can of Hoppe’s Number 9 gun cleaning solvent and several boxes of special order pistol ammunition before I find the flask.

I have no food in the bag. I don’t need to eat. Haven’t felt hunger pangs in a century now. I still like to eat a well prepared dish, but I have learned to keep it small. I eat only rarely and when I really want to because I also don’t have to shit if I don’t eat. I can’t describe the pleasure of not having to indulge bodily functions.

I am a living stereotype when it comes to whiskey and being Irish though. The burn is familiar and I take half the contents in one drink, knowing that my “condition” will knock the buzz down almost immediately.

I don’t need to sleep anymore either but I still enjoy it quite a bit. The hum in my ears from the whiskey and the sun beam hitting my face makes me drowsy. My head lolls back on the head rest, and my eyes drift closed.

I am not jerked awake. I am simply aware of a presence where a moment ago there was thin air. Several low sounds penetrate my drowsy sleep. I haven’t been afraid for a century. I’m just curious what is happening next to me.

I look to my right and see the old bastard rifling through my pack. It appears that he is laying my worldly possessions out on the dash of the pickup. The sun is fully up now and I guess that it is probably seven thirty.

“Live hard and die young. Isn’t that the saying you used? For your plans after the war?”asks the eternal being I have come to call Samael.

“I look at you and I see what happens when you only do only the first and not the second.”He speaks a bit absently and then looks up at me.

I feel that same feeling I always get when I lock gazes with an angel. It is a strange mixture of trepidation and excitement. It is the fear of a being that is orders of magnitude more powerful than I am; combined with the sure and certain knowledge that I am in some unknowable way, a superior creation of God.

My human mind has struggled for many decades to understand the complicated and convoluted history of the choirs of angels and their presence in the many theologies of the world. Never with much success. The truth as I understand it, about the twisted blending of all religions that represents the actual situation, is that there exists in this ancient and expanding universe more than we can understand. It may be more than we should understand. Suffice it to say all the religions have it right and all of them have it wrong.

Samael looks at me and says.

”So we come full round and find ourselves in the same place. It does remind me of when I sacrificed myself to myself. Oh Sean, that was a long nine days I tell you now, but the knowledge gained was worth it all.”

He closes his right eye tightly and looks at me as if I am meant to understand his cryptic crap.

I look at him quizzically. I have seen and done so many things. Read and heard so many tales. It is difficult for my mortal mind to hold and then retrieve it all. Slowly it occurs to me. I get a mental picture of Samael as One-Eyed Odin from Norse legend. He is said to have hung himself from the magical tree, Yggdrasil, and stabbed himself with his own spear. This sacrifice of himself to himself was made to show his willingness to sacrifice everything for knowledge. The knowledge he sought was the secret of magical runes. He hung that way staring into the Well of Urd for nine days until he understood all the magic.

“An Odin reference, Samael? Are you telling me that was you as well?”

I roll my eyes and shrug.

“I guess I pictured you as more of a Loki.”

Samael takes a cartridge for my pistol, a Linebaugh .500 and makes it roll across the knuckles of his right hand. It seems to disappear from one side and reappear on the other. I know this is only the dexterity of his fingers and no magic trick. I have learned this trick and many others by watching him.”Oh no. That was Asmodeus. If you knew him better you would understand.”

I don’t bother continuing this discussion. It isn’t what either of us want to talk about.

I wait a moment and I say, “Today was 400.”

His grin disappears. He looks at me seriously and says, “Yes it is. Is it true? Does time heal all wounds?”

“100 years and four seasons in each. I have often wondered why you didn’t tell me that those years would not be consecutive. Why you never mentioned that I would be dragged willy nilly into all of history and prehistory on your errands”

My voice has the implacable push of my thoughts behind it and I ignore his questions.

“I suppose that being a timeless being, with the ability to travel in the fourth dimension you know as time, as easily as the other three; it didn’t seem all that important.”

He shrugs and looks out toward the mountains to the east of us.

“I probably would have said yes anyway. Then, I certainly would. I am not sure about now. The things I know and have seen… I don’t know.”

The weight of my heavy soul seems to crush the breath from me. I voice the thought that has been running through my mind since I lost my pursuers some time after midnight.

“Samael, the lines keep running through my head.

I will show you something different. Your shadow at morning striding behind you, Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust. I was never sure what T.S. Elliot was talking about in The Wastelands poem but I think I know now.”

Suddenly Samael turns to me with an unholy intensity.

“So what now? Is that what you want to ask me? The answer is you are the one who knows that answer my boy. I spoke the truth to you when I said you can go your way and await your just reward. My Father’s gift of free will” He flips his hand in a dismissive motion.

I feel angry at this for some reason.

“So you just release me like a worn knife that cannot take another sharpening? Take the gifts away and walk off?” My voice begins to rise, “You had me put a lot of credits into your account with your Father, Yahweh! Did I commit 400 sins or 400 services? I don’t even know anymore. The lines are so blurred. I can’t see where I have been, let alone where I am going! My shadow before and behind is invisible and I fear this unknown. Goddamnit! I have seen fear in a handful of dust! I am an old man and I don’t know what comes next!”

I slump down in the seat again, the words leaving my mouth as a whisper.

“I don’t even know what I have left.”

Samael turns on the seat. He places his hand on my shoulder. He looks at me with eyes that are both patrician and paternal.

“I will help you if you want me to, Sean.”

I can’t help it. My eyes mist and my throat gets tight. I won’t cry. But Lord I want to.

“Sean, you have done me a great service, there is no doubt. Look at me, tell me what you want? Let’s use your poem as a metaphor then. Are you Sybil of Cumae that Elliot stole from an older source for his opening lines? Given the gift of long life but now trapped in a cage as a curiosity. Do you feel trapped in your long lifespan?

Sibylla ti theleis; respondebat illa: apothanein thelo...Do you want to die, Sean?”

His look is tender, his voice is soft, and the Latin from my favorite poem washes over me like a warm bath in winter.

“Perhaps you are the fisherman from the end of the poem? Will you be like him and use fragments to shore up the ruin? Will you carry on. Push on into the glorious land where Hercules and Beowulf await you? Will you stay with me and cross into legend as a hero?”

The energy flows in his words. Never increasing in volume but with the power of certainty, alluring and solid, infused throughout.

“I will do either for you, with an equal amount of love. For the first, just lay your head back and rest, forever. For the second, take my hand as you did once before. This time with no conditions on your immortality. Be your own man, bound to me only by, dare I say it, friendship.”

His left hand stays comfortingly on my shoulder as a symbol of the release that awaits in death. His right hand extends toward me, the same way I saw it all those years ago in the San Juan mountains of Colorado.

I think for a long time.

Slowly and deliberately I...

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