#this mf does NOT know how to smoke and the very idea scares him a bit

[azusaluvclub]

Hi! I absolutely adore your writing! Every single thing I read on your blog is just *chefs kiss* 😍

I was wondering if you have any particular hcs about Myles Joo and Dongha Baek you're willing to share? 👀 Also Wolf. Always starved for more Wolf content. Only if you feel like it obv ")

hello !!! thank you to both anons for these asks ! i decided to do them both in the same post since it was easier this way lol, hope it's okay- honestly thanks for giving me an excuse to write more myles content (even though yall probably shouldn't allow me this much power), lord knows i needed it :D

anyways, hope you both enjoy !!! this was fun to answer lol

weak hero headcanons; myles, dongha + wolf

myles joo / joo seungjin

⋆ used to be star player on his middle school basketball team ! grew up playing with his big bro and made the team in his first year. was really good at it too. loved being on the court, and winning itself, of course. near the end of his second-year, though, a teammate started a fight with him which resulted in him getting kicked from the team

⋆ still likes to shoot hoops in his free time; it's relaxing for him, honestly. thought about joining the high school team but he didn't have time for it and the union. even though he does now, he still feels like something's holding him back from pursuing it

⋆ not a crazy cat person like teddy, but has a soft spot for the strays in his neighborhood they like him, surprisingly lol. can't leave them food since he lives in an apartment, but carries a few treats in his pocket for ones he sees~ there's a black cat who really likes him that's been around for a year now; secretly wants to keep him, but he can't see it going over well with his dad :,)

⋆ not a headcanon so much as my opinion, but would totallyyy suit an eyebrow piercing (because somebody needs to compete with donald lol). gave himself one in middle school, but it got infected after his face got fucked up in a fight and he had to remove it. thought about redoing it, then realized it wasn't safe to have with all the fights he gets into-

⋆ including the black one he always wears, he has a big snapback + baseball cap collection ! his favorites are displayed proudly on his wall, the rest boxed up in the closet

⋆ his hair looks like that because he cuts it at home. had one too many bad barbershop experiences and now he doesn't trust them, but his own skills are... subpar at best :,)

baek dongha

⋆ dongha is the type of mf who refuses to wear shorts- no matter what. it could be 900° and he will still wear pants, only because he hates how his legs look and feel in shorts. would sleep in them if he wasn't normal lol

⋆ dongha has known seongmok since childhood, even before they became friends. truth be told, dongha was a nasty little kid, so he didn't hang out with a lot of people. but seongmok (who was very quiet even back then !) started following him around one day and dongha, who tried to scare him off at first lol, soon realized he really liked having someone by his side :)

⋆ i know he smokes cigs in canon, but imo he's more of a vaper than anything. def one of those people who has 500 vapes and has to hit one every 2 minutes before suffering withdrawals- only elf bars, only fruity flavors

⋆ got this idea from an ask, but he lives with his grandma and has since middle school ! he's in a weird, defiant time in his life so he's not as close with her as she wants, but she loves him just the same~

⋆ to add onto this, when he isn't at his grandma's, dongha's couch-crashing at seongmok's house- he's a lot closer to his family and they've basically adopted him, lol. it's not that he feels excluded at his grandma's, but she wasn't present for a lot of his life up until moving in with her. so, for now, seongmok's place is his true "home"

⋆ avid video gamer, lol- he likes doing multiplayer ones with seongmok or hitting up the arcade for some Tekken, but he's really into anything. keeps some gacha games on his phone for when class is too boring, but he usually regrets the money he spends on them :,)

wolf keum / keum seongje

⋆ surprisingly smart ! doesn't take school seriously, so much as it comes easy to him? + ganghak isn't an idiot cesspool like some of the other schools, so he didn't get in on connections or money alone- he's not a fan of studying or showing up to all his classes, but he manages to make consistent As and Bs and, if his attendance were any better, he'd be an almost perfect student !

⋆ doesn't have much for hobbies lol. its not like his life revolved around the union, but he's never really stuck with one thing. you could say his hobby is fighting, but i think he used to be a bit of a bookworm~

⋆ loved books about mystery/crime and detective-type novels that he could solve himself; he was a bit of a nerdy kid :,) he still enjoys media of that genre but doesn't read as much as he used to. if anything it benefitted him, since he was able to figure out jared's plan pretty easy

⋆ whether he says it or not, he considers hwangmo a good friend. i imagine they went to elementary school together where social-butterfly hwangmo tried to befriend him, though seongje wasn't too interested lol- didn't even remember hwangmo until he asked seongje about it

⋆ but out of all his lackeys, he's the only one who actually respects him and sticks by his side, and has a brain on his shoulders lol- so seongje respects him, too :) sometimes gives hwangmo extra from their funds like a raise lol, buys him a snack/drink after meetings, or offers him smokes; hwangmo thinks they could be friends someday, once this union stuff blows over

⋆ ik a lot of people subscribe to "homophobic gay wolf" but i honestly think he wouldn't care that much- his sexuality isn't anybody else's business, or something he even cares about. he likes who he likes, though he doesn't really like anyone... :,)

[vrisrezis]

Until I get actual rqs for inside job I did some Andre relationship hcs because he’s my fav and I am whipped ;D

- okay so for starters andre is experienced with sex but not relationships in itself honestly lol. Like I hc he uses sex to cope (just like with drugs). It gives him the excitement and distraction he needs at times, so while you can potentially provide that for him (there’s also the possibility you don’t want sex in your relationship so) dating him is a bit messy at first. Mainly because he freaks out and doesn’t know how he should deal with this at first.

- as a result he brings up sex a lot to like myc, gigi, etc and they’re like Jesus Christ just like masturbate or something and hes like … ohhhh..

- but anyways all this aside he’s very inexperienced in a relationship so please forgive him.

- he’s so sweet though, and he really tries to be a good boyfriend! He tries buying you stuff, but at first he’s just like.. wtf do I buy them? It starts out small, with just a coffee, to like a full meal, (big fucking contrast lmao) but then it goes to cute shit he thinks you’d like, yknow like a cute teddy bear or something lame, and then to like nice flowers he knows you’d really like, to just something actually meaningful to you, like a video game you’ve been talking about wanting or something.

- speaking of video games, he has plenty you two can play he’s a gamer ok guys and he really loves any kind of games so you two can bond over pretty much any game and talk about it forever and plus side if he doesn’t know it he’s happy to learn more about it. But beware of multiplayer games, he’s competitive as fuck and gets kinda angry lol.

- anyways if you’re lucky to be dating the man scared of commitment, you definitely work at Cognito Inc. it’s just easier that way! You two can see eachother like all the time and you both don’t have to keep any secrets from eachother it is the best <3

- ps since you’re dating you probably do drugs . Probably smoke pot at the very least .

- he’s a clingy guy alright so yknow these factors make it easier to see you, more excuses for him to have like he’s totally helping you with work or he’s just seeing you to hook you up with more drugs LMAO

- anyways clingy guy, I mean it. Loves having an arm around your shoulder or waist, holding your hand, anything. He needs to touch you in some way shape or form okay.

- big cuddler as you’d expect, admittedly likes being the small spoon, it’s just comforting and makes him feel small in the best way.

- if your strong enough he likes being picked up bridal style, he’s pretty light too so it’s not like it’s hard to carry him .. he’s just very tall and lean

- makeouts happen often with him, which usually lead to sex unless you’re not comfortable, ready, etc.

- but even if you don’t want sex it’s fine he loves making out with you

- he likes just sitting and watching tv with you with his chin on the top of your head

- probably just gets high with you a lot and just relaxes

- anyways, he’s very domestic and loves domestic shit

- like he is so in love with you, he never thought he’d ever be okay with commitment, the though terrified him and so does the idea of being domestic with somebody it opens up so many doors he’s not sure he’s ready to open yet

- but then he sees you cooking with your fucking apron and he’s like.. yeah… I am in love with this mf

- like he never really cooked for himself honestly like he would just order takeout or something but then you make him food and he like dies

- brags about you a lot to his coworkers when you’re not around, kinda his way of coping when he can’t be around you and shit

- also he’s so comfortable around you, he opens up to you so easily and he’s just so okay with being himself and being vulnerable

- he will just stare at you with this dumb smile and you roll your eyes because he’s such a fucking loser and you love him

- he’s just very honest with you about things and he tries really hard to be a good boyfriend because he knows he’s not the BEST at everything but he’s really trying here.

[ratsoh-writes]

Woo! Wuill's ask about the psychologist SO made me think of an idea.

Kid has a cognitive/physical dissability (you can pick one of these or search another one) (face blindness, dyscalculia, chronic pain on their back, language processing disorder, legless -I lowkey asked Wuilll about them cuz I didn't knew any-) how does skeleman handle it? For UT, DT, MF, SF and G!tale

Sans: (dyscalculia) *difficulty with numbers if anyone doesn’t know* out of every disability in the list, this one would probably be the most difficult for sans to work with. To him, numbers came easy. Luckily he’s a very patient monster and spends a lot of time with his kid going over their homework each day. Maths (and subjects with it) is probably the only school subject he’s ok with his kid just pulling a c in.

Papyrus: (legless) honestly, I think papyrus would be fine raising a kid with almost any disorder really. If his kid was born without legs though, one fun think he’d do with them is decorate the wheelchair for every holiday. His kid has the coolest fkn Halloween costumes. Last year they were the Death Star from star wars

Pop: (face blindness) pop is a little genius sometimes and spent hours with half monster kid practicing recognizing voices. His kid now can copy voices like a ventriloquist and can recognize most people after the second meeting dispute the face blindness. Pop always thinks outside the box

Rhythm: (legless). This would be the hardest because who can dance without legs? One thing rhythm does with all his kids is make them take dance lessons with him. He gets creative and finds routines that use more arm movements and can work with the wheelchair.

Butch: (chronic pain). Butch sympathizes very little. He also has some chronic pain from past injuries. Call it phantom pain. He’s always powered through it and expects his kid to do the same. His SO helps keep him off their back on bad days

Boss: (receptive language processing disorder) *difficulty understanding spoken language* he actually has experience with this as it’s what dove suffers with. All the mafia bros learned sign language for her as she understands it easier despite not technically being mute or deaf. He starts teaching his kid sign language right after their diagnosis. Unfortunately now he has a little sailor on his hands as all the brothers taught them explicatives as well.

Mal: (impulse control disorder) he suspects to some degree that cash was born with this as well. This time mal is much more attentive with his kid and can be rather stifling sometimes. He keeps seeing similarities between them and his brother when he was little. Mal is scared of his kid taking the same path

Cash: (blindness) he accidentally taught his half breed kid echolocation. They hate being spooked or snuck up on, so cash got into the habit of making bird whistles whenever he enters the house. The kid copies them and after a few years, he realizes they aren’t moving as slowly anymore. Damn, he raised a dolphin

G: (asthma) having this damn kid means he had to quit smoking. G does and green weeps tears of joy lol. The air quality is pretty good in ebott so his kid is fine staying there. G is mostly chill about the whole thing

Green: (chronic back pain) his kid won the lottery being born in his family. Not only is dad amazing with healing magic, soothing nerves and muscles with a touch, his kid has also become his favorite project. Greens free time is spent researching chronic pain and the causes of it.

[sugarbeandude]

A-Z with Mute/Smoke

I wanted to post this some time ago, finally, put my ass to write.

A = Affection(How affectionate are they with a s/o?)

Smoke: Oh hell yeah Smoke is sweeter than honey.

Mute: Is also very sweet, but he can't help his serious face

B = Breath(What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)

Smoke: For Smoke, it is always the hugs. Mute isn’t that touchy, so it always takes smoke off guard whenever Mute feels like hugging him

Mute: When Smoke remembers the little things about him/investigates more abt his interests so Smoke can enjoy them with him. Like that Smoke bought him a drum practiser and drumsticks for him to have at the base.

C = Cuddling(Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

Yes; They cuddle when they know they are completely alone and in bed. Smoke is the little spoon cause of the position he sleeps in but lately Mute has been the little spoon

D = Dream(What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

Mute: Marrying him, living in the same home

Smoke: To quit their army lives and live together. It’s not that he doesn’t want to marry Mute, he just wasn’t sure Mute to actually want that lol.

E = Effort(How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

A lot, come on…

F = Fear(What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

Mute: he is scared of being abandoned, though he has grown over his fear the bad way, sadly.

Smoke: to leave Charlie fatherless.

G = Gifts(What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

Mute: He isn’t a gifter, he has no idea what to gift Smoke, so he always invites him to have lunch

Smoke: Mute’s interests, like videogames, rock band shirts, and stuff he needs for his instruments.

H = Hugs(Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

Mute: whenever he doesn’t feel crowded, so pretty much only when they are alone, or at least not around coworkers that aren’t his close friends

Smoke: He respects Mute’s limits, so he hugs him whenever he feels comfortable

I = Intimacy(How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

Smoke: Smoke is the cheesiest mf around, he doesn’t find it hard to get romantic

Mute: he still finds it hard to get romantic (not intimate lmao) but he does try his best and Smoke appreciates it a lot

J = Jealous(Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Smoke: He isn’t jealous, JUST a little with vigil, cause the man is teaching Mute Korean (that's cannon lmao) and he is not overly hostile with Mute (like he is with everyone)and Mute just laughs at the fact Smoke gets a little salty, but they never make a big deal about it.

Mute: No, he isn’t actually,

K = Kiss(Are they good kissers? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

oh hell yeah, both are good kissers, Mute really enjoys kissing his man.

L = Love(When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

Mute: Mute shows it rather than to say it, but he still tries to say it.

Smoke: cheesiest mf around

M = Marriage(Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

yes, both want to, they have never specified a certain ceremony.

N = Night out(What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

They go out kinda often out, when Mute takes him out it’s usually to his band shows or restaurants and when Smoke does it’s usually to a secret place he found by a hill, to Charlie’s Handball matches, or festivals in the city.

O = Out of the Ordinary(What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

Hmm, I don’t really have a hc for this, maybe Mute babysitting charlie

P =Playful(Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

Smoke likes to pull innocent pranks on Mute, like the old whoopee cushion in the chair or ice cream pranks, to lighten up the mood.

Q = Questions(Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

OH Mute ask random stuff to Smoke at night ALL THE DAMN TIME, and Smoke answers him all the time

R = Random(How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan?)

They usually do things on the spot, with them it’s always a: hey you free half-hour? I’m picking you up.

S = Sleep(How do they sleep with their s/o?)

Yes.

T = Trust(How much do they trust their s/o?)

A lot.

U = Unique(What makes them unique as a s/o?)

I don’t really know maybe the fact that Smoke won Mute’s heart? IDK DASDFGHJK

V = Vulnerable(How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

It’s kinda difficult for Mute to be vulnerable with Smoke, but once he takes the first step, he realizes Smoke is never going to make him feel ashamed or in danger so he opens up more little by little.

W = Wild Card(Get a random domestic headcanon of the character of your choice)

Smoke is a little too intense with the rule of no feet on the coffee table, and will not hesitate to smack feet.

X = X-Ray(What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

Since they are both trained to be able to stabilize injured ops, they really keep it calm, they’ll both stop being calm when they evacuate the operation zone.

Y = Yuck(Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

Smoke is a gym rat/healthy lifestyle kinda stuff, so he really dislikes all of Mute’s bad habits when he is working. (energy drinks, bad posture, staying up late, coffee, skipping meals, etc.) so he begs and tries to change Mute’s habits by literally being his maid, bringing him healthy food to his desk, correcting his posture, and taking away his energy drinks.

Mute: Smoke’s cat, that damn feline knows all his past sins.

Z = Zeal(Are they passionate as a s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

wat

[captain-sodapop]

so here’s a list of music moments I would have liked to have seen in supernatural:

Elmer Bernstein’s theme to The Hallelujah Trail should have been played during Dean’s just...absolute finest moment, whatever that may have been.  Maybe it was something we never saw, but it definitely would have happened close to the end of the show’s run.  Not only is it the theme to an old cowboy movie (and we all know Dean loves cowboys and westerns) scored by one of Hollywood’s best composers, it’s got such a fun grandeur to it that I think Dean embodies in his best moments.  Just imagine him contemplating whatever impulsive, batshit thing he’s about to do for all of half a second, he stands, puts on his cowboy hat, gets in his trusty steed, and goes off to kill the bad guys like the Last Great American Cowboy he is.

“Milky White Way” is a song off of one of Elvis’s gospel albums, and it’s just so Sam.  It is simple, clean, beautiful faith that dreams of one day going back to Heaven, back to you maker, back to your mother.  Imagine Sam sneaking out on a Sunday morning and walking into a church service while this plays and he seeks out comfort in his faith, in prayer, in such a rockabilly, Nashville way.  (Alternate take would have worked beautifully, as well.)

Mary should have killed some monsters and been seen driving cross-country to The Lemonheads’ cover of “Mrs. Robinson.”  That would have been so badass.  Here’s to you, Mrs. Winchester.

“Tomorrow” from Annie is a Jack song.  It might seem like a weird choice, especially since I’m not a huge fan of the play in general, but hear me out: Jack, awake in the middle of the night, scared of what’s to come, unsure of what’s next, a mess after another nightmare, and he bumps into Cas as he takes his nightly walkabout around the bunker.  Cas does what he can to assure him even though he himself is scared, and they go outside to watch the sunrise, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder.  They’re both uncertain, but they have each other, and as the sun rises and the darkness of the screen silhouettes as if they have a bright spotlight on them, the song reaches its swelling climax before the spotlight goes out and they cut to the credits.

Rowena’s theme song is Bowie’s “Queen Bitch.”  Period, full stop.

Every snippet we get of Cas driving around, there’s something different playing on the radio, not just sermons.  He listens to a lot of hymns and pop music.

In an early seasons episode, season 1 or 2, Sam and Dean are undercover at a college toga party (complete with togas and olive wreaths) and get roped into “Shout” a la Animal House.  One of them is dancing, the other one is getting the kill during the song sequence. 

Macca’s “Dear Boy” plays the first time Sam loses Eileen.  But in a version of the ending where we get to see the two of them reunite after Dean’s death and they decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together, it’s George Harrison’s “What is Life” that plays in a montage of them coming together.  It’s funny, because Sam doesn’t know now what his life would be life without Eileen, just like he never used to know what it would be like without Dean and Cas and Jack.

“Everybody’s Gotta Live” is a very first apocalypse-era song.  Just the two of them, Sam and Dean, absolutely miserable after another thwarted attempt to stop fate in its tracks intercut with Castiel’s search for God.  All of it fruitless.

Why do I want to see Cas and Meg searching for each other in a busy club while “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)” plays?  I just do.  Who even knows why they’re there, but they are.  Quick cuts between the two of them, a confident Meg and slightly nervous Cas, surrounded by smoke and bathed in dark, colorful light until they bump into each other and wordlessly, breathlessly kiss, Meg tearing off his trench coat and suit jacket just to get that much closer to him.

When Cas gets swallowed by the Empty, “Video Killed the Radio Star” plays.  (Video = the Empty, Cas = the Radio Star.  Get it?)  But like, the part starting at about the 2-minute mark where the guitars are just...woah.

Sam and Dean are riding along in Garth’s car on a hunt, late season 7 or sometime in season 8, and Dean reaches for the radio.  Garth, though, smiles and holds up a hand.  “Allow me,” he says, and MF Doom’s “Vinca Rosea” begins to play.  They emerge from the car in slow motion under a bright moon, and the footage speeds up as they hunt down the baddie.  It is the most badass Garth has ever looked and will ever look.

Montage of Standford!Sam set to “Campus” because DUH.

John is flashing back to his Vietnam days in, well, a flashback.  He’s completely sober as he tells Sam and Dean about ‘Nam, about the horrors inflicted by humans and ends the story by telling them “And that’s why I know how to make a bed with sheets so tight I can bounce a quarter off it.”   “Fortunate Son”, of course, plays.  Young Sam and Dean just kinda shrug at each other and say “got it, Dad.  Jungle scary.”  John rolls his eyes.

“Heaven On Their Minds” and season 6 Cas.  Tell me it doesn’t work.

They want Jensen to sing so much?  Dean apparently likes Fiddler On the Roof?  Alright, then he can sing “If I Were A Rich Man” in a weird, daydream-esque sequence in an episode where the case is one that forces a serious exploration of class and the brothers’ status on the fringes of society.  A window into Dean’s own desire to be secure.

Jack finally gets to pick the music on the drive home, and guess what?  He’s picked “The Rainbow Connection.”  It just makes him so happy, and he smiles the whole time.  Four bloodied and beaten men driving along in the Impala, and Cas watches on with fond bewilderment as the other three sing along.  (Sam and Dean really resist at first, but when Sam cracks, Dean is quick to follow.)

Sam and Dean do something spectacularly stupid (think Malcolm in the Middle levels of stupid) to “I Should Be Allowed to Think” because the brilliantly stupid idea is Sam’s, and he likes TMBG.  But also, he’s thinking about the life he gave up - all that potential, wasted.  The worst hope of his generation for sure.  But Dean looks like he’s having a good time and it miraculously all works out, so it’s okay for now.

“Things Have Changed” needs to be in there somewhere, definitely in the later seasons, but I’m not quite sure where.  It just needs to be there.  And “Duquesne Whistle” in some little diner and “Like a Rolling Stone” (like, that whole ALBUM) and UGH DYLAN IS PERFECT FOR THIS SHOW.  All the Bob Dylan!

Come to think of it, all of All Things Must Pass, too.  Just scattered throughout the show.  So much about love and faith and even brotherhood in there.

Two brothers, driving home to Kansas, standing amongst the summer crop after the rain as the sun slowly sets with a couple of beers and “Over the Rainbow.”  Just glad to be home.

[auteuer-blog]

⌜     demi     male     ,     he/him     |     creep     by     radiohead     ,     bijou     movie     theater     ,     the     pariah     ⌟     ⏤     hey     ,     isn’t     that     FORSYTHE     PENDLETON     JONES     III          ?          the     TWENTY     -     THREE     year     old     NORTH     SIDER     has     lived     in     town     for     their     WHOLE     LIFE     ,     and     has     always     denied     their     resemblance     to     ALEX     FITZALAN     .     they’ve     been     a     photojournalist     &     aspiring     author     for     a     while     now     ,     and     i     guess     it     makes     sense     --- -     they’ve     always     seemed     so     CANNY     &     ASTUTE     ,     though     i     have     heard     that     they     can     be     pretty     TACITURN     &     CAVILLOUS     .     did     you     hear     about     how     they     STOLE     THE     IDEA     FOR     HIS     FIRST     MANUSCRIPT     FROM     AN     ONLINE     POST          ?          i     always     knew     something     was     up     with     them     .

disclaimer  before  i  get  right  into  the  shits:  i’m  going  very  canon  divergent  here .  i  hate  the  way  ras  wrote  jughead ,  and  i’m  going  to  fucking  fix  it .  a  lot  of  my  interpretation  is  going  to  be  based  off  headcanons .  i  just   ...   i  hate  cold  sprouts  and  riverdale’s  pathetic  attempt  at  jughead ,  and  i’m  fixing  that  shit  rn .

anyway   !   my  name’s  van ,  i’m  20 ,  i’m  a  full  slut  for  aesthetics .  i  use  she/they  pns ,  write  out  of  the  hellscape  that  is  aest  and  i’m  a  full - time  student  doing  a  double  degree  in  law  and  liberal  arts ,  majoring  in  criminology  and  minoring  in  polisci .  full  disclosure  abt  the  way  i  write:  i  tend  to  use  heavily  edited  gifs / icons  and  heavily  formatted  text   --- -   if  either  of  those  bother  you ,  please  let  me  know  and  i’ve  got  no  problem  changing  them .  i  use  those  because  they’re  my  personal  preferences ,  but  accessibility  and  ease  always  comes  first .  in  saying  that ,  i’m  done   --- -  so  let’s  crack  on  to  this  little  shit   !

born  on  may  the  fourth  of  1996 ,  jughead  jones  is  the  firstborn  son  of  fp  and  gladys  jones ,  notorious  southside  serpents .  they’re  not  wealthy   --- -   this  is  made  evident  when  jughead  is  born ,  not  in  a  hospital ,  but  in  the  back  of  a  beat - up  car  that  neither  of  his  parents  technically  own .  they  weren’t  planning  on  having  kids ,  but  fate  is  a  funny  motherfucker ,  and  so  it  goes .  fp  claims  naming  rights ,  and  that’s  how  forsythe  pendleton  jones  iii  is  brought  into  the  world ,  kicking  and  screaming  and  making  too  much  of  a  fuss .  some  things  never  change .

he  doesn’t  stay  an  only  child  for  long .  forsythia  parthenia  jones  (  again ,  naming  habits  are  likely  crack - induced  and  entirely  unfortunate  in  nature  )  is  born  in  august  of  2000 .  she’s  got  health  issues  from  the  beginning  but  the  minute  a  near - 5  year  old  jughead  jones  lays  eyes  on  his  younger  sister ,  he’s  besotted .  even  at  such  a  tender  age ,  he  feels  a  genuine  drive  to  protect  the  wailing  little  ball  that’s  pressed  flush  against  mother’s  flesh .

childhood  is  an  interesting  adventure ,  spent  shuttling  between  the  north  side ,  the  south  side ,  hospitals  --- -   rinse ,  repeat .  it’s  a  strange  existence ,  but  he  doesn’t  mind  it .  he  shows  a  proclivity  for  reading  early  on   ;   whether  it’s  nature  or  nurture  is  anyone’s  guess ,  but  sticking  your  nose  in  a  book  is  the  most  convenient  method  of  escapism  one  could  imagine .  he  takes  a  liking  to  truman  capote  after  picking  it  up  during  a  hospital  visit ,  finds  himself  lost  in  the  magic  of  breakfast  at  tiffany’s .  it’s  around  this  time  that  he  starts  wondering  if  he  could  write  books  like  this ,  if  he  could  do  something  to  this  effect .  

he  was  a  socially  awkward  kid  for  the  most  part   --- -   distant ,  not  always  as  present  as  you’d  like ,  perpetual  pre - pubescent  loner  with  a  head  permanently  affixed  in  the  clouds .  doesn’t  help  that  a  generally  scruffy ,  unkempt  appearance  doesn’t  quite  gel  with  the  neurotically  gift - wrapped ,  glossy ,  picture - perfect  image  of  a  classroom  that  was  presented  in  riverdale  primary  school   ;   he  scared  the  other  kids ,  unnerved  them  with  a  quick  mouth  and  a  dreamy  look  in  the  eye  alike .  he  didn’t  mind  not  having  many  friends ,  it  was  just  something  he  got  used  to   --- -   naturally ,  though ,  this  changes  when  archie  andrews  and  betty  cooper  enter  the  picture .  the  world  is  forever  changed   ;   the  world  turned  upside  down .

it’s  a  strange  front  they  present:  perky  girl - next - door  betty  cooper ,  golden  boy  archie  andrews ,  and   --- -   and  what   ?   what  glimmering  adjectives  does  he  preface  himself  with   ?   what  praise  befits  the  ugly  duckling  in  a  trio’s  worth  of  cherubs   ?   he  doesn’t  know ,  therefore  he  doesn’t  bother .  there’s  a  conflict  that  rages ,  a  lack  of  understanding  as  to  where  he  fits  into  the  picture  and  well  into  his  adolescence ,  he  genuinely  believed  that  betty  and  archie  only  entertain  his  presence  as  a  joke ,  something  to  laugh  about  later  on  in  the  piece .  they  reassure  him  it’s  not ,  but  suspicion  lingers  regardless .

that  fateful  fourth  of  july  changes  so  much  for  jughead .  his  plans  for  that  particular  summer  included  movie  marathons  with  jellybean ,  a  few  joints  smoked  in  the  bathroom ,  a  foray  into  writing  his  first  play   --- -   but  in  the  blink  of  an  eye ,  his  childhood  best  friends  are  dragging  him  into  a  murder  investigation  that  makes  his  stomach  turn  and  his  trust  in  a  town  that  once  seemed  so  wholesome  evaporate  almost  overnight .  sixteen  is  too  young  to  feel  the  reverberations  of  such  a  horror ,  and  they  leave  irreparable  scars  on  good  ol’  jug .  little  does  the  poor  shit  know ,  though ,  that  it’s  about  to  get  worse .

hal  cooper ,  disguised  as  ‘  the  black  hood  ’  ,  goes  on  a  killing  spree  and  wipes  out  some  of  riverdale’s  most  beloved .  his  attempt  on  fred  andrews  is  enough  to  make  jughead  want  to  pack  his  bags ,  heft  a  protesting  jb  into  the  back  of  an  ancient  car  he’s  saved  up  for ,  and  run  as  far  as  he  can .  the  events  of  2013  only  further  reiterated  that  jughead  actually  wanted  nothing  to  do  with  any  of  this  bullshit .  when  the  black  hood’s  identity  was  revealed ,  he  cut  off  a  blossoming  relationship  with  betty  right  there  and  then  and  hasn’t  even  DARED  to  entertain  the  idea  of  rekindling  it  since .  

at  the  same  time ,  the  serpents  and  ghoulies  are  dragging  his  family  into  a  turf  war  and  honestly ,  he’s  so  sick  of  this  shit .  he  entertained  the  possibility  of  a  serpent  alliance  once ,  flirted  with  the  idea  but  watching  the  war  unravel  has  only  pushed  him  further  away .  he  spends  more  time  on  the  north  side  than  he  does  at  home ,  and  there’s  a  good  reason  for  that .  he  loves  his  family  immensely ,  don’t  get  him  wrong ,  but  their  pseudo - gang  bullshit  just  isn’t  for  him .  subsequently ,  jughead’s  never  had  any  kind  of  serious  involvement  with  the  southside  serpents  besides  familial  ties .  he  wants  nothing  to  do  with  them .

so   --- -   to  summarise  all  that  mess ,  jughead’s  kind  of  realised  that  this  shit  is  FUCKED .  he’s  still  reeling  from  jason  blossom’s  murder ,  still  processing  how  hal  fucking  killed  all  those  people ,  and  he’s  trying  to  sever  himself  from  warring  gangs .  keep  in  mind ,  kid’s  fucking  eighteen  at  this  point .  he’s  a  dumb  bitch ,  let’s  not  make  any  mistake  about  that ,  but  he’s  a  dumb  bitch  who  hasn’t  dealt  with  the  trauma  he  experienced  as  a  teenager .

so  anyways   !!!   let’s  skip  to  present - day  jughead ,  because  this  is  my  favourite  bit .  currently ,  he  works  as  a  freelance  photojournalist  who  writes  on  the  side .  he’s  written  articles  for  nyt  and  a  few  papers  upstate ,  and  they’re  his  crowning  achievements .  he’s  written  a  few  little  novellas  here  and  there  which  are  in  the  editing  stage   --- -   he  doesn’t  think  that  any  of  them  are  that  good ,  and  isn’t  really  counting  on  getting  them  published .  instead ,  he’s  focusing  on  a  novel  right  now  (  and  no ,  he  didn’t  steal  the  idea  from  a  fucking  tumblr  post  so  stop  asking  ) .

he’s  ditched  the  beanie ,  ditched  that  at  about  eighteen  because  he  realised  how  fucking  weird  it  was  (  sans  that  ...  whole  speech  ) .  his  hair  and  scalp  have  breathed  since ,  and  they’re  loving  a  bit  of  oxygen .

he  still  eats  like  a  mf .  bitch  can  cram  so  much  food  in  there .  he  can  eat  even  more  when  he’s  stoned ,  which  is  usually  at  2  am  on  a  saturday  morning .

he’s  got  his  own  little  place  on  the  north  side  now ,  a  little  two - bedroom  apartment  that  he  shares  with  jellybean .  they  don’t  have  much ,  never  really  have  but  they’ve  got  each  other ,  a  selection  of  streaming  services  and  vintage  dvds ,  cheap  liquor  and  all  the  time  in  the  world .  that’s  all  they  need .

anyways  fuck  ras  and  his  edgelord  jughead ,  all  jughead  actually  wants  to  do  is  write  and  hang  out  with  his  sister  and  watch  bad  70s  schlock  horror  thank  u  for  ur  time