#this may have or have not been drawn on the back of my sheet music for Happy Xmas (war is over)

[gaylordtinklefairy]

Pov: You catch yourself under the mistletoe with John Lennon Chan 😍😫

[laurellala-comics]

I've been having so much fun with my Ace Attorney comics lately but I've been feeling the pull to do original stuff again. So to ease into the transition, here is my (very first!) comedy zine. You may spot some familiar faces B)

Thanks for reading my goofiness! I'm including some nerd thoughts about zines under the cut

Zines are sooo cool and I assume most people have heard of them since this is tumblr BUT if you haven't! Zine is short for magazine (pronounced "zeen" it does not rhyme with vine). It usually refers to handmade pamphlets that can be created by folding and cutting a single sheet of paper, which is what I did, but it can be used for any sort of self made publication. The goal is to make something that can be reprinted and shared so mine is technically not in the spirit of that because of all my little interactive details but shh that's fine. Zines have been used in sooo many ways (Was Martin Luther's 95 theses not in a way the first zine (this is a joke)) but they are especially recognized as part of the punk movement as a way of fighting back against mainstream media and of sharing information around! It was a way to get around censorship and spread the word about social movements and political messages buuuut it has also always been used to share fun things, like music recommendations OR FAMOUSLY. STAR TREK SPOCK KIRK FAN FICTION (this is real and there are academic papers about this). Some of the earliest m/m fanfic was passed along through zines because they did not have ao3 back then! All they had was a typewriter and a dream! It's actually sooo silly, but I took a class in college that heavily emphasized these zines as leading to the fandom culture we had today, so they really did shape the world we live in today. Tumblr posts are like our own little zines that we share, with our own messages and thoughts and yes even hand drawn gay people...

Anyway, like I mentioned, in these fandom spaces you had queer zines that were about explicitly romantic and sexual relationships between fictional men. At the time, slash shipping was not the most common way to engage with fandom, but today it has become very mainstream and widely accepted amongst the fandom. But you know what queer behaviors are still not mainstream within fandom spaces, even within queer fandom spaces? Aro ace rep babyyyy. With that in mind, I feel like what is considered radical and abnormal these days in queer fandom spaces is to engage with fictional men (or any characters) from an aromantic or asexual lens. And so I am here to hold your hand and walk you through the wonderful radical world of imagining non-romantic scenarios with fictional guys. You can have so much fun with it and I think more people should do it. What if you stood in line at the bank and your favorite anime man was in front of you. What if you had to go in for jury duty and the guy from five nights at freddy's was there. What if you went to the library and spock and kirk were both there researching the history of zines. In a world that expects us to prioritize one normative romantic and sexual relationship as the big thing that will bring you happiness and fulfillment, it is radical to say "actually, i could probably still be really happy and fulfilled if i had some cool friends to hang out with and do mundane things with. And also what if those friends were fictional lawyers."

Anyway. Thank you to all the spirk shippers who worked hard to get us here, I will pick up your mantle and continue to push against societal norms but with fewer sex scenes this time around. Not that you aren't valid for that, this is just personal preference. The end. Go make a zine everybody.

[uhzuku]

— 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐰 ; 𝐡. 𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧.

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: his skin was soft beneath your fingertips…

𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦: howl’s moving castle | 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: howl pendragon/gn!reader | 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: nsfw ; minors dni | 𝐰/𝐜: 0.92k.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: handjobs, petnames, gn reader, sub howl, dom reader.

— 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐞 !!

soft sighs of pleasure ring through the room as rain pelts against the nearby window. warm hands, so lithe and pretty and well-manicured, fist in silk sheets as the knot in the tummy of the man they belong to begins to draw tighter as ecstasy approaches. 

“o-oh — oh, oh-!” he whines, his hips bucking up slightly into the warmth of your touch. “yes — just l-like that!”

his desperate cries are music to your ears — you’d spent several hours in his bed at this point, playing the ever-talented musician to the ravishing instrument that was his body. your fingers had danced across his skin so perfectly, pressing and scratching and caressing the spots you knew to be the most sensitive to you, and the noises the actions had earned you were worth more than gold. 

even now your knowledgeable hands toy with the hot, hardened length of his cock, your fingers curled in a loose fist to jerk at his most sensitive flesh while your thumb teases his tip with the expertise of a seasoned whore. short-shrill cries and deep groans accompany his desperate pleas for you to let him finish, and you smile as you overlook the mess of a man that you had created.

you’d always found him more beautiful this way than any other, no matter how handsome he may have been in his coat and suits; no, him on his back for you while crying out your name to the walls of your shared bedroom as you lapped up his release despite his sensitivity was always much preferred. 

“howl, my darling,” you murmur softly, and he lets out a wordless whine and forces his head up from where he’d had it thrown back against his pillows with his hair fanned out around it like a halo in order to look at you through tear-lined eyes. “cum for me.”

he throws his head back again now as the words hit him, his back arching up off the bed beautifully as his orgasm rolls over him. a long, drawn-out cry of your name leaves his lips and the tears he’d been fighting off finally fall. a wicked part of you relishes the look of them rolling down his cheeks; whenever you had time to fully take him apart this way, you always strove to bring him to tears in one way or another. unfortunately for both of you, he was usually far too busy to take days like today off to spend with you, much less spend hours of his time with you pulling him apart and putting him back together again.  

you gaze up at his ecstasy-ridden form through hooded eyes from your place between his spread legs, watching the way his chest heaved and his mouth fell open as he called your name. a  smile lifts the corners of your lips upwards as you watch him fall apart, your eyes shining as the arch of his back softens as he slowly comes back down to lie flat against the bed. his chest still rises and falls dramatically with each heavy breath, and his taut stomach shines with the thick, pearlescent wetness of his release. his thighs tremble, and his hips rut upwards ever so gently — the motions are more twitches than any manner of thrusts, and they amuse you to no end as his breathing goes staggered as he comes down this time from his high. he’d been coasting the waves of pleasure for nearly forty seconds now — not an all time high by any means, but still quite impressive. 

“easy, darling, that was a big one,” you coo softly, your voice a mixture of comfort and teasing mockery. he whines in mock annoyance, casting an arm over his eyes to block out the sight of your playful smile. 

“don’t be mean to me!” he complains, his voice still breathy and light. you just chuckle, climbing up the length of his body before stopping to carefully straddle him, none of your weight on him as you pull his arm from where it lay on his face so you could look down at him. 

your eyes meet, and you find yourself drowning in the deep depths of blue that gazed up at you, still misty with arousal and sparkling with curiosity. “beautiful,” you find yourself murmuring, and his cheeks pinken slightly. 

“i know i am,” he says in mock pride, feigning whatever haughtiness he could in order to avoid you teasing him more for letting such a simple compliment get to him — he was a vain creature, after all, he knew that better than anyone. 

“you can’t fool me, sweetling,” you purr instead, making his eyes widen ever so slightly and his adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard when you lean down over him. your noses are almost touching, and there’s a wisdom in your eyes that he can’t deny — your knowledge of his thoughts, his habits, and everything that made him himself shines back at him, and he curls his toes a little instinctively as a familiar heat once again curls in his belly. 

you lift a hand and brush the backs of your knuckles across his jawline, and he melts into you like the finest honey does so into a fresh cup of tea; the wizard beneath you was putty in your hands as usual, and ready for another round once again. 

“t-take me,” he stutters through a sighs, “please. use me again, treat me like your plaything — y/n, i need it.”

you smile. 

“as you wish.”

𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © { 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 } 𝐛𝐲 𝟒𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐒. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭.

[ssuperficialspacecadett]

Clementine Kisses

Chapter Seven of the Through the Scope Series | Chapter Eight

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5.8K

Chapter Overview: You wake up in a strange bedroom and investigate

TW: smut !! oral (f receiving), f in v, p in v, depictions of breasts but without their size

Notes: now i know this isnt a gif of frankie, but i am the law of the land and i want to use it. okay LMAO we finally made it to the smut hehe i mean i feel like yall knew this was coming tbh,, i havent written it in a while so i might be a bit rusty, but im still pleased with how it turned out. its just so much fun to write. as usual ... my asks are always open & happy reading <3 (oh and listen to lemon boy by cavetown bc it was on repeat while i wrote this chapter)

*no use of y/n & female presenting reader*

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Your head is spinning, but your body is so comfortable. When did your shitty mattress get this soft? Without even having to open your eyes you can tell that the sun is up. You must have forgotten to close the blinds when you got home last night. Wait a second…you don’t remember coming home. Still choosing to keep your eyes shut for fear of seeing a stranger next to you in bed, you hoist the covers up and over your head. Maybe if you just pretend you didn’t do anything stupid last night it will become a reality. 

You inhale deeply, slightly wincing at the throbbing in your head, and your eyes pop open. It may be pitch black under the sheets, but you are starting to see things more clearly. You know this smell. It’s a smell that has haunted the deepest corners of your mind since you first encountered it. Since you first encountered him. It’s musky, but not in a dirty way. It fills your nose and soothes the anxiety you felt creeping its way into your belly. You breathe in deeply again. There were subtle hits of…tire rubber? Well he works in an auto body shop so that checks out.

You decide to hold your breath to see if you can hear anyone breathing softly beside you. A few seconds go by with the only sound being the steady beat of your heart. Hoping that you correctly assumed that you’re alone, you peel back the covers to reveal a foreign sun lit room. You look beside you and breathe a sigh of relief when you see that the right side of the bed has been left undisturbed. As much as you wanted to have sex with him, that was definitely something you wanted to remember. Using your elbows as support, you scoot your body into a sitting position and lean your back against his headboard. Looking at the nightstand beside the bed, you see three things: a glass full of water, two tylenol pills, and a small slip of paper. Without thinking twice you pop the painkillers in your mouth and chase them down with the now room temperature water. Nothing has ever tasted so refreshing. You trade the empty glass for the piece of paper. Aloud you read what it says.

You fell asleep in the truck. I’ll explain everything in the morning. On the couch if you need me. -Frankie

He had drawn a little smiley face next to his name. You laugh quietly to yourself as you set the note back down on the small table. Looking down you see your shoes neatly placed in front of it. There is a shirt you don’t recognize folded and carefully placed on top of them. You reach down and unfold it in your lap. 

“Hmm.” You run your fingers over the faded design on the front of it. “Fleetwood Mac. You have good taste in music, Frankie.” 

After giving the room one final once over to make sure no one is inside you shimmy out of yesterday's shirt and bra and dawn the one left out for you. Then you throw the rest of the covers back, climb out of bed, and take off your jeans. It wasn’t your fault he didn’t have any shorts for you. His shirt comes to rest a few inches above your knees as you start quietly tiptoeing around his room. You know snooping is wrong, but you just can’t help yourself. Your still socked feet guide you over to a thin, vertical bookshelf that sits directly in front of the side of the bed that you slept on. Dust has started to collect on the shelves and the books themselves. You run your fingers across the spines of them until you see one that peaks your interest. 

“What do we have here, Frankie? A Helicopter flying handbook?” 

You slide the heavy duty book from its seemingly perpetual resting place and crack it open. A lot of the pages are dog-eared and highlighted to high heaven. You close it and set it back where you found it. As you look closer you see that the majority of the books he has relate to helicopters, aviation, and the mechanics of flying aircrafts. A pang of sadness and realization shoots through you as you realize that you know so little about him. You know so little about what he did when he was on missions, fuck, you didn’t even know that he knew how to fly. But you want to. You want to know everything there is to know about him whether it be big or small or beautiful or ugly.

Moving over to his dresser, curiosity building, you see a group photo. You pick it up and you mentally name Frankie, Santi, Will, Benny, and who’s that? A gruff looking man smiles and has his arm around your coworker. He appears older than the other men he’s standing with. You’ve never met him or even heard the guys talk about him before. Right as your mind starts to pick apart who the fifth man in the photo could be, the sun reflects off something else on the dresser and catches your eye. You set the photo down and look for the culprit. When you find it, you feel your knees get weak. Sitting on top of a familiar looking post-it note there is a beer bottle cap. You gasp to yourself as you pick it up. This must have been the cap of the beer that he opened for you when you attended the fights with him. You thought you had seen him slip it into his pocket, but you figured that it was just because that was an easier alternative than leaving to throw it away. He saved it as a memento and kept it by your number. Two things that another man would consider trash, he kept and cherished. 

The smell of coffee tickles your nose and you can hear faint clanging coming from the kitchen. You decide that you have been hiding and snooping long enough, so you set the cap down and make your way to the door. The room you were in appears to be on the left side of the hallway. You walk quietly down the hall and notice that the walls are barren. The noises get louder as you close the space between yourself and the kitchen. His house’s layout makes you walk through the living room, which has the front door, before you reach the kitchen. There’s no door when you approach so you’re able to see Frankie engrossed in his task. Well, his back to be more precise. He has on a tired looking t-shirt and some boxers. One side of his hair is sticking up in a way that causes you to stifle a laugh. For a man that slept on the couch last night, he seems to be quite chipper. His low humming only makes that fact more apparent. You get comfortable by leaning against the shared living room and kitchen wall, but it’s short lived. The man in front of you turns around and bursts both of y’alls bubbles of ignorant bliss. 

“Oh!” He’s holding a mug in each hand. “Good morning! Or I guess it’s technically the afternoon now.”

“Good morning to you too.” You follow him when he beckons you to join him at the kitchen table. “So…do I want to know how I ended up here?” 

Frankie watches as you sit down across from him at the table in his shirt. If he’s being honest it makes his cock twitch to see you like this. He is in awe at how beautiful you look after waking up. Sure, your hair is wilder and your mascara is smudged, but fuck if you aren’t a breath of fresh air. He finds himself getting irrationally jealous that his bed was the one that got to hold you while you slept. He wanted to wake up to that face in the morning. Every morning.

“It’s not as bad as it looks.” He slides a mug over to you and scratches the back of his head.

“If waking up in the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept in and then being greeted by a cup of coffee is bad, then I don’t ever want to end up in a good looking situation again.” 

His shoulders relax when you say this, as if he was anxiously waiting to see how you would react to the situation. “Well, Pope and I tried to drop you off at your apartment, but you didn’t have your house keys in your tote. So, this was the next best option.”

“Oh my God! I knew it seemed lighter than usual when I left the gym! Damn, Benny for rushing me last night.” 

“Your bag is over on the entryway table if you want it. It’s got your phone.”

“No, I’m alright.” You say before sipping your drink. “I’m in good company.” 

He looks at you bashfully before indulging in his own cup of coffee. You take the cozy silence as an opportunity to look around his kitchen. It’s oddly reminiscent of yours. No art, no decorations. Save for a small basket of fruit on his counter. The only room that has given you a glimpse into his mind has been his room. 

“Did you,” He follows your eyes. “Did you want an orange? I can never get around to eating them in time and it would be a shame for them to go to waste.”

“How about we share one? I’ve never been very hungry when I first wake up, but I’ll make an exception.” 

He stands just enough to give himself the extra length to reach the fruit. You take it from him when he offers it and start peeling. When you finish, you split it in half and offer one side to him. 

“I told you that you enjoy taking care of people last night.” You eat one of your citrus slices. 

He tries to look nonchalant as he mirrors your actions. “Maybe there is some sense to all that star stuff you like. Tal vez eres una estrella.”

“And what makes you think I’m a star?” Your stomach feels like it's made of knots. 

“Well…you have this brightness about you.” You can see it in his eyes that he’s struggling with telling you what he's thinking. Not because he doesn’t want to say it, but because he doesn’t know how to. “I seem to see you most often after the sun has already gone down, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know that you’re there when the sun is still up. Sometimes, I get lucky enough to see you during the day.” 

You breathe in a shaky breath as he presses forward in his explanation. 

“I find myself getting sucked into your gravitational pull whenever I’m around you.” 

Both of you have unconsciously started to lean towards each other.

“And you’re…”

“I’m what, Frankie?”

“You’re beautiful.”

“You think I’m beautiful?” It comes out shakier than you intend.

His eyes crinkle at the corners when he hears your reaction to his confession. “I’ve been in awe of you from the moment I met you and every moment after, mi estrella.” 

“My star.” You repeat what he just called you in spanish. You have to do something to distract from the intense feeling of bawling that suddenly consumes you. 

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He stands up and cups your face in his hands.

“Say you mean it.” You say looking at him.

His deep pools of chestnut trace your face as he stares back at you. “I mean it, mi estrella. Every syllable.”

You stand, his hands still in place, and kiss him. You finally kiss him. There is no way that you could have waited any longer. His lips mold with yours hungrily. As he opens his mouth to you, you can taste coffee and sweet oranges. You can’t help but moan into him when he slides his hands down your body to cup your ass and pull you tight against him. His teeth catch your bottom lip and pull on it gently. He groans when your own hands snake their way up his chest and wrap around his neck. You intertwine your fingers in his thick curls, grateful that you now have unbridled access to them without his cap.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you.” His chest heaves against your body and you can feel him hardening against your bare leg.

You open your mouth for him again and tilt your head so you can deepen the kiss. His tongue explores your mouth and you eagerly let him. The sounds he’s making while he palms your ass are sinful. You feel yourself clench around nothing at the thought of the sounds he will make while he fucks you. He scoops you off the ground and your legs wrap around his waist as he sets you down on the table. The cool wood sends a shiver through your body that makes him smile against your lips. 

“I don’t think I can make it to the bedroom.” He sounds like he's in pain. 

“That makes two of us.” You gasp as he starts to work his way down your neck.

Desperate to quell the growing ache in between your legs you grind your core against him and feel him shutter.

“You want this just as badly as I do, huh?” His breath is hot against your skin.

“I want it so bad.” You bring his face back up to yours and sloppily kiss him. “It’s all I can think about.”

His hand answers your prayers when he starts to rub circles on you through your underwear. He swallows your wanton cries with his mouth. You feel him laugh against you and you already know the cause of it.

“You’re so wet for me and I’ve barely laid a finger on you, cariño. How is that?”

He slides your underwear to the side and easily slides in a finger. You have to lay your head on his shoulder as he curves it up inside you and hits that sweet spot.

“I would have-” Your breath is stolen for a moment when one finger hastily becomes two. “I would have let you do this to me at the bar. Would have let you make me come with your fingers while everyone sat around us.” 

“Fuck.” He whines into your hair. “You’re so filthy. Not caring who’s around or who could see what I’m doing to this sweet pussy.” He removes his fingers from inside of you and you whimper at the loss. You watch, mystified, as he places them in his mouth and licks each one clean with greed. “Lay back for me. I need to taste the real thing.”

His eyes are glazed over with lust right now. The ache in between your legs is so painful and you are desperate for reprieve. You immediately do as he asks and lay your back down on the kitchen table. You take the liberty of lifting your shirt up and exposing your breasts to him. The way he is looking at you makes you feel like you’re the only woman in the world. His eyes wash over your body and you can’t help but squirm underneath his gaze. He leans down and takes one of them in his mouth while he forcefully cups the other. Your back arches when he catches your nipple between his teeth. Never one to neglect, he works his mouth to the other one before he trails his lips agonizingly slow down your body. He peppers kisses right above the start of your underwear and you can’t help but buck your hips up towards him. 

“Patience is a virtue.” He chides looking up at you through hooded lids.

“Please, Frankie.” You plead with him. You hope he can see how badly you're hurting. “Please, touch me. I can’t wait anymore.” 

He smiles to himself as he shifts his attention to what's right in front of him. His thumbs hook into the fabric and he slowly starts to pull them down.

Ding Dong! Ding Dong!

You both freeze and hold your breath to see if the sound was imagined. When its unholy ringing comes again, he rests his forehead on your stomach.

“I’m going to kill them. I’m legitimately going to fucking kill them.” His beard tickles your skin as he speaks. 

“Who-who is it?” You’re trying to catch your breath.

“The guys.” He doesn’t move his head from where he laid it to rest. “They are here to watch the basketball game.”

“Open up, Fish!” Benny yells as he raps on the door. “I know you’re in there, you bastard! Your truck is in the driveway!”

Frankie all but growls as he pulls your underwear back up and helps you sit up straight. If you didn’t know any better you’d think that Benny’s a dead man. You reluctantly hop off the table as Frankie tells them he will be there in a minute. 

“Why don’t I answer it?” You gesture down to his now very strained shorts. “You can change while I handle them.” 

“Oh fuck me.” He rolls his head back.

“That’s what I was trying to do! Now go, go!” 

You push him towards his room and start to head for the door. Two steps in and you feel a strong hand grab your arm and pull your body back. He captures you in a desperate kiss before he releases you. 

“This isn’t finished.” 

“Patience is a virtue, Frankie.” You wink.

He sends you to the door with a spank and heads into his room. You scurry to let everyone in as another round of banging starts.

“Hey guys! Long time no see.” 

They don’t look the least bit shocked to see you greeting them at the door. Pope must have filled them in about the events of last night on the way over. They all greet you with a tender kiss on the cheek and lug their various bags inside the house. You tell them that Frankie is just finishing changing and that he’ll be out shortly. 

“How’d you sleep last night, hermosa?” Pope sets four cases of beer on the kitchen table. The very sight of it causes heat to rise in your belly again.

“Oh umm good? I slept good!”

“Yeah I guess that would explain why your hair looks like it was caught up in a tornado and you have a crazed look in your eye.” Benny snickers. 

“Consequences of last night's actions at the bar.” You shrug leaning back on the sofa.

“There he is!” Will walks up to Frankie as he enters the room and pulls him in for a hug. 

When they break apart his eyes immediately fall on you which causes the rest of the men to follow suit. Suddenly, you’re very aware of how little clothing you have on. 

“Why don’t I put on some pants?” Your cheeks are burning under all the attention and with the knowledge of what almost happened.

“You don’t have too.” Benny offers casually as he lays takeout boxes down on the table. “It’s good practice for when you’re in the ring.” 

“Now I’m definitely going to put on pants.”

You hush the guys as they hoop and holler at you while you head to Frankie’s room in search of yesterday's jeans. If you didn’t know they meant it with love, those would have been the last sounds they uttered.

“She looks mighty relaxed here, Catfish.” Frankie is shocked that Will is the first one to address the elephant in the room. Usually he stays out of silly things like this, but you must be an exception. “Well, except for when Benny decided to poke the hornet's nest with that comment about her hair.” 

“Her hair? What about it?” He looks behind him where you disappeared. “And keep your voices down.”

“Be serious, man.” Pope cracks open a beer. “She looked so frustrated when we walked in. Like she’s a string that’s wound too tight and is this close to snapping.” He emphasizes his point by snapping his own fingers.

“I didn’t think she looked upset.” Benny sounds so confused.

“Not frustrated as in upset, you fuckin’ dolt.” Will looks at his brother with genuine annoyance.

Much to Frankie’s horror he watches in silence as understanding washes over Benny’s face when all the pieces click together in his head.

“Catfish, I’ve never known you to be a man that leaves a woman unsatisfied.” Benny remarks.

“Well that wouldn’t have happened if y’all had come just a little fucking later.” 

“That’s probably my fault.” Pope looks at him sheepishly. “I was anxious to see what unfolded after you dropped me off.” 

Frankie can’t help but chuckle at his friend's excitement. “Nothing ‘unfolded’ after I took you home, hand to God. She was dead to the world when I brought her inside and tucked her in. She didn’t even wake up until 30 minutes before y’all arrived.” 

“Now swear something wasn’t happening while she was awake.” Pope smiles knowing damn well he has Frankie cornered.

“I uhh-”

“Okay I’m presentable looking now.” You walk into the room and immediately notice Will, Santi, and Benny fighting back laughter while Frankie flounders in front of them. “What the fuck have y’all done now?” 

“Just some good ol’ fashion teasin’, hon.” Will waves you over. “You’re going to stay and watch the game with us, right?” 

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude.” You start.

“You’re not!” Frankie is quick to say.

“Yeah! We want you to hang with us!” Benny voices enthusiastically.

“All these beers aren’t going to drink themselves.” Pope waves his hand dramatically over the booze. “Plus, your car is still at the gym. It looks like you’re stuck with us.” 

“You got me there. I guess it’s only fair that I listen to y’all talk about basketball since y’all listened to me talk about the stars.” 

“Atta girl!” Will pulls you into a side hug while the rest of the boys cheer, Frankie included. 

***

You watch happily on the couch as the men around you take turns yelling at the television and then at each other. Thankfully, you knew how basketball worked so you were more than capable of keeping up with what was going on. You and Frankie sit right next to each other on the couch the entire time. Throughout the game they would all jump up and cheer when their team made a basket, but the second you sat with your legs crossed and had your knee touching Frankie, he happily realized he could better encourage the players from a sitting position. After the game ends and all the food is eaten, you get questioned about how you usually spend your Sundays off.

“It used to be similar to this. When I was living with Robbie back home,” You laugh when you notice the raised eyebrows from Will, Frankie, Pope.

“Robbie is a girl. Calm down y’all.” Benny explains.

“Anyway, when I was living with Robbie back home, we would pile into one of our beds with wine and snacks to watch shitty reality TV. We definitely had our fair share of times yelling choice words at the screen and contestants.” 

You’re met with immediate disbelief that reality TV could invoke those kinds of emotions. Instead of verbally pleading your case, you take the remove from Frankie and use it to open up Hulu. You find your favorite show and your favorite season and hit play. 

“After a single episode y’all will be eating your words.” 

When it ends Will is too angry to speak, Frankie is asking you ‘why that dude with the buzzed hair choose the girl in the yellow bikini over the girl in the pink bikini?”, Benny is fully convinced he would dominate at the show, and Pope is begging to watch the next episode. Completely surprised they all loved it, you play the next episode and snuggle deeper into the cushions. You rest your arm on the back of the couch and play with the ends of Frankie’s curls. Electricity shoots through you each time you feel his body tremble under your soft touch. You all only realize how late it's gotten by the time the season is halfway over. 

“Shit, I gotta be up early tomorrow to talk to some vets at the VA.” Will says as he stands. 

Pope and Benny follow his lead and stretch as they do it. You pat on Frankie’s leg and get up as well. Picking up the trash that has collected on the coffee table, you take it to the kitchen to dispose of it. It doesn’t take Will long to expertly gather up both his things and the men he brought with him. You and Frankie walk them out and send them off with sweet goodbyes and promises of doing this again soon. 

“See you at work tomorrow!” Benny calls back to you from the driveway.

As soon as you close the door, you can feel the energy shift in the room. 

“I thought they would never leave.” His voice is gravelly. 

When you look up at Frankie, he’s already staring down at you with the same look he had in his eyes earlier this afternoon. 

“I could barely hold it together with you teasing me like that. Did you enjoy it? Feeling me suffer under your fingers?”

He’s already got his hands on your hips and is pulling you flush against his body. You let out a low whimper as his mouth finds its home on yours. Your smile against him is answer enough to his question and he nips at your bottom lip in response. 

“Now it’s my turn to make you suffer. To drag it out until you’re begging me to stop.” 

He lifts you off the ground and you find yourself in an all too familiar position with your legs around his waist. You can feel him start to walk somewhere, but you can’t be bothered to look as you suck sweet red marks under his jaw line. Hearing him moan loudly only adds fuel to your fire that was never properly put out earlier. Each time he takes a step, the buckle of his belt rubs against your throbbing clit. You wriggle your body against his as best you can to generate as much friction as possible. When the light behind your eyelids fades, you know exactly where he has taken you. You feel him come to a stop and detach your lips from his neck and admire your work. Those rosy marks will definitely be there in the morning. 

“Hi.” You whisper as you turn your attention to his face. 

“Hi.” He says in the same hushed tone. “I’m going to give you an out. I should have done this this afternoon, but I-I got so caught up in you that I couldn’t think properly. If you don’t want to do this, tell me right now and we can pretend like it never happened. No hard feelings. I just don’t want you to do something you regret tomorrow.”

“Frankie,” You reach up for his hat and throw it to the floor so you can run your hands through his hair. His eyes flutter as you touch him ever so tenderly. “I don’t want an out. I want you.” 

His eyes water ever so slightly at your words. Like it was the first time he had ever been truly craved by another person in his life. It makes your heart crack at the thought. You lean in and capture his lips. They are so pliant against yours. It feels like they were made for you and you alone.

“Do you want me?”

“More than anything.”

“Then show me.”

He tosses you down on the bed and the plush comforter cradles your body. In an instant each of you are ripping off shirts and haphazardly unbuttoning pants. You look up at him, only in your underwear, and take all of him in. His strong arms, broad shoulders, a stomach that you can’t wait to feel rub against you. The lower your eyes go on his body, the harder he gets under his boxers. You squeal when he wraps his hands around your ankles and pulls you closer to the edge of the bed. He never breaks eye contact as he kneels down in front of you. He starts slowly at first, kissing you through the fabric barrier. Adorning your thighs with his tongue and soft nips from his teeth. Your quiet moans fill his ears as he finally removes your last stitch of clothing. He chokes at the sight of your weeping cunt before him. You spread your legs wider, beckoning him to take a taste. 

Your cries bounce off the bedroom walls as he buries his face in between your thighs. His tongue works in ways that you never thought possible. You ball up the sheets beside you in your fists as he laps at you relentlessly. Breath stolen with each wicked sound that pours out of his throat. His hand removes itself from your thigh and climbs its way up your writhing body. In an effort to remain tethered to the earth you grab on tighter to him than you thought possible. 

“Fuck, Frankie,” You’re drunk off of him. “You feel so good.”

“And you taste even better.” 

He takes your clit in his mouth and your back arches as two thick fingers glide inside you. If this is his idea of suffering, you wouldn’t mind spending eternity in hell. Your legs start to tremble, but he is unwavering. Drinking you up like you were the first sip of water he has had in years.

“Come for me, mi estrella.”

He holds your hand through your climax. The two of you moaning in unison as you drench him. He doesn’t detach his mouth from you until your body has ceased its shaking. Only when you're struggling to catch your breath, splayed out on the bed, does he retrace his path back up your body with his lips. His beard is glistening with your slick as he lowers himself to kiss you. The taste of you is prominent on his tongue when he slips it into your mouth. You wrap your arms around him and pull the rest of his weight on top of you. You can hear him growl in your ear when you start to move your hips underneath him. 

“Take them off.” You mewl. “I want to feel you. All of you.” 

He pushes off the bed frantically and sheds the last of his clothing. God, he was much bigger than you originally thought. You move your body upwards on the bed so you can lay on a pillow. You watch, mouth watering, as he starts to crawl his way back towards you. He licks his palm and uses it to stoke himself. The profane performance in front of you causes your mind to go blank. He lowers himself in between your legs again and you can feel his tip at your entrance. You can only mutter incomprehensible words as he sinks himself deep inside you. You wrap your arms back around him to keep yourself steady as you feel your walls stretch around his length.

“You’re so fucking tight around me, cariño.” His face is inches from yours. “I’ve got to move, okay?” 

You answer him by bringing your lips up to kiss him. Your whimpers are muffled by his mouth as he sets his pace. Each stroke is more detrimental than the previous one. Your nails bitting into his back only serves to motivate him as he continues. 

“You’re so big. I can feel you everywhere. Frankie.” 

He sits up just enough to allow himself room to rub your clit. His face fluctuates between concentration and bliss. 

“Are you going to come for me again? Come for me all over my cock?” His fingers rub tight circles and you can feel yourself quickly approaching.

You nod in response to him.

“I can’t hear you. Use your words.” He demands.

“Yes,” you pant. “I’m going to come for you. Only for you.” 

Frankie is trying to keep himself from finishing before you do. He wants to make sure you at least finish twice before he even considers it. He brings the hand he was using on you up to his mouth and spits on it before connecting it to you again. The sounds that are coming from you are making it increasingly difficult to stay focused on his task. He looks down at you while he continues to pound into you and work at your clit. Your body gleams with sweat, your chest is heaving, your lips are swollen from him kissing them, and your eyes…your eyes are on him. He falters for a split second under your gaze. No other woman has ever made him nervous in bed the way you have. Never has he worried that he was doing too little or too much. But with you, he wanted everything to be perfect.

Frankie adjusts your hips so he can hit that sweet spot. He knows he found it when your eyes go wide and your jaw goes slack. He doesn’t change a thing about what he is doing. 

“I’m gonna come,” You sob.

You clench down tightly around him as you’re thrust into your second orgasm of the night. It only takes three or four more pumps until he too is consumed by his own pleasure. You feel him spurt hot ropes inside you and sink deeper into the bed. When he’s done, you feel a slight sting as he pulls out. He crawls beside you in the bed and ghosts his lips over yours.

“I’m going to get a towel to clean you up, alright? Are you going to be good here by yourself for a sec?”

“I don’t think I could move even if I wanted to.”

He smiles down at you and kisses you quickly before disappearing into the bathroom. You rest your eyes while the faucet runs faintly in the background. He’s quiet when pads into the bedroom, but you feel the bed creak beside you under his weight. The towel is damp and warm against you. You sigh contentedly as he takes his time in cleaning you up as if he is sad to see the evidence of him being washed clean from your skin. When he finishes, he sets the towel down on a nightstand and pulls the covers over both of you. His arms pull your tired body against his and envelop you in his warmth. 

“That was worth the wait.” You laugh.

“I would definitely say so, but hopefully we won’t have to wait so long for the next time.”

“No, I don’t think we will.”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

{tag list: @cutesyscreenname @rsquared31 @smol-beb @bitchwitch1981 @avastrasposts @hoeslingz @saltybutteredtoast @javicstories @c-justhere @pimosworld @modernperplexity @beboldbebravethings @mxtokko @moonliqhtszn @tanzthompson @megcads @myloveistoolittle @casa-boiardi @jitterbugs927 @partyofone3413 @pedrit0-pascalit0 @golden-library @pati-et-vivere @pedro-pedrito-pascalito @mashomasho @lilmizmoz @angstylittlepascal @sofiparallel @selflcontrol @adriennemichelle98 }

[cetaitlaverite]

Why All This Music?

Masters of the Air - Rosie Rosenthal x OC

i believe an update was requested? ;) masterlist is linked here <3

22. The One Left Behind

When she woke up in an empty hut, Freddie was confused for a few moments. She was lying beneath two blankets, one she recognised as an old blanket from her footlocker and the other was a standard issue quilt everyone who lived at Thorpe Abbotts had. All of the beds in the hut were empty, except the bed beside hers which still had its top sheet and pillow.

Sitting up, Freddie noticed the sound of a shower for the first time. And then she remembered where she was.

It would be Rosie in the shower, trying to wash away the inevitable hangover. And it was his hut she’d been sleeping in because the rest of the Riveters had left yesterday and she hadn’t wanted to leave him alone. He must have laid his duvet over her when he got up.

Sighing, Freddie sat back to lean against the wall. She rubbed her eyes and wiped the corners of her mouth to make sure she hadn’t dribbled, then smoothed out and readjusted her nightdress to make sure nothing was on show that she didn’t want to be. True, Rosie had already seen it all, but that didn’t mean he was allowed to see it now.

The shower turned off. Freddie listened to Rosie dry off and then get changed, then brush his teeth. He was clearly surprised to find her awake when he re-entered the main room.

“Hi,” Freddie greeted softly.

“Hi,” Rosie replied. He looked as though he was holding his breath, waiting for her to start shouting at him or else just to leave. But she simply sat there quietly, looking at him. He lingered only a moment in the doorway, then crossed the room to replace his things in his footlocker.

Freddie watched him idly, fiddling with the blanket in her lap, until she realised she was cold and lifted Rosie’s quilt to drape over her shoulders.

Rosie came to sit on the edge of his bed, facing her with his elbows on his knees. His face was drawn in a frown. “Can we talk?” he ventured carefully. His eyes were clearer than they had been last night and the deep bags under them were slightly less prominent even after one night’s rest. He looked better but still not entirely himself.

Freddie nodded, scrunching up one corner of the quilt in her hands. “I’m already here, so we may as well.”

“I, uh,” Rosie began tentatively, clasping his hands together in the gap between his legs, “I’m sorry about last night.”

“Oh,” Freddie said, caught off guard. “No, that’s - that’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“I didn’t mean to embarrass you or cross any lines or anything,” he went on. There was a slight embarrassed hue creeping up his cheeks.

Freddie nodded, looking away so she didn’t stare. “That’s okay.” She fixed her eyes on the bed directly across from her, a skeletal frame with an empty mattress on top of it. These huts were so cosy and joyful when they were full, so cold when they were empty.

“And I know you don’t wanna hear any more explanations but I just wanna make sure you know that I wouldn’t have decided to re-up if I felt that there was any part of me that could get on with my life instead,” Rosie hurried to add when Freddie didn’t say anything more. “I just - I just really had to do it, Fred. And I know it hurts you real bad and that hurts me more than I can say, but I had to do it. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do it.”

Freddie’s eyes fell to the blanket where she was fiddling with it. “I know,” she mumbled quietly, picking at a fraying seam. “You wouldn’t be who you are if you could stand to let someone else take over.” She laughed quietly, reluctantly, sadly. “I already knew this about you, really. I worried from the instant I heard about the brass upping the tours that you would stick around. I just thought you’d discuss it with me first before going ahead and telling the colonel.”

“I know,” Rosie said softly. “I’m sorry. The decision wasn’t made until I stepped into his office. I didn’t know I was gonna do it, I swear.”

“I would have liked to know you were considering it at all, Rosie,” Freddie told him, finally meeting his eyes. “I tell you everything, even when it’s hard.”

“I know,” he said again. “I’m sorry. You were right the other day, I was being a coward.”

Freddie nodded. She wasn’t going to deny it.

“When you’re in a relationship,” she began slowly, keeping her eyes locked on his, “it’s not just you you have to think about anymore. Your decisions don’t just affect you. Even if you didn’t know you were going to decide to do it beforehand, you should have let me in to hear about it and consider how I felt about it, too. And of course we would have fought about it - I would’ve been upset and tried to stop you and you would’ve been angry with me for trying to stop you. But at least I would have been prepared. I shouldn’t have had to accept the reality of the situation without being able to sit with the possibility of it first.”

Rosie nodded, his blue eyes solemn. “I know. I’m real sorry, Fred.”

“I just…” Freddie sighed, letting her head tip back to rest against the wall behind her. The ceiling above her was dirty, its whitewash long since faded to grey. “I need time. And space. I know the decision’s already been made and the damage has already been done but I need to wrap my head around it.”

“Sure,” Rosie agreed immediately. “Of course. Yeah. Absolutely.”

“I need to learn to trust you again, Rosie,” Freddie apprised him quietly.

It was clear he hadn’t been expecting this. The light he’d just started to recover in his eyes went out all at once.

“But I don’t want you to be alone,” Freddie pushed on, forcing some semblance of strength back into her voice. “I don’t want you to sleep here by yourself and then go to breakfast by yourself and spend all day being a leader but having no one to talk to.”

He let a hopeful smile tug at the corner of his lips.

Freddie sighed, her eyes falling closed. “We’ll be friends,” she decided. “Nothing more. Not just yet. But I think you need a friend right now and I think I might be qualified for the position.”

Rosie didn’t say anything for a moment. All Freddie could hear was his quiet breathing.

Prying open her eyes, she glanced over to find him with his own eyes resignedly closed. He looked like he was in pain. “Fred, I love you,” he said.

Freddie smiled sadly. “I know.” And she did know. Every denial of this fact she’d made had been out of anger and hurt and resentment. She knew he loved her, she’d just been trying to protect herself. “I’m not telling you not to love me, Rosie, I’m telling you I need time to let you.”

He dropped his head forward. “I messed up real bad, huh?”

Reluctantly and in spite of herself, Freddie laughed softly. “Kind of, yeah.” She reached out and stroked the back of his hair because she couldn’t help it. In spite of what she needed, what she wanted was to cuddle him and shower him in affection. All she would let herself have was this.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his words directed at the floor.

Freddie smiled sadly. “I know. But it’ll - it’ll work itself out.”

“I don’t wanna lose you.”

“You won’t.”

If Freddie had been reluctant to extend an olive branch to Rosie, Millie and Jem were downright throwing a tantrum about it.

“He doesn’t deserve it!” Jem exclaimed as they stood around the back of the mess hall after breakfast. They hadn’t liked walking in to find Freddie and Rosie sitting together.

“He made a mistake, Jem, he’s only human,” Freddie insisted.

“A really fucking big mistake if you ask me, Fred!” Millie argued. “Pretending everything is fine while he’s plotting a second tour, perfectly happy to get you into bed every evening but not to tell you what he’s thinking.”

“If you’re angry about it, imagine how I feel!” Freddie volleyed back. “But I’m so tired of being angry about it! I loved Daniel and I lost him. I thought that was the end of it. Then I find Rosie and he’s everything I could ever have wished for but he makes one mistake - a big one, yes, but still just one - and all of a sudden I’m right back at square one? No. I’m not. I refuse to be. I want him. I’m choosing him. Not right now, because I’m still hurting, but when I’m ready I’ll be with Rosie because that’s what I want. And I never allowed myself to want that before so I’m going to fight for it now.”

Millie sighed and fell back to rest against the mess hall wall. “Oh, Fred.”

“What if he dies?” Jem asked abruptly. “What if he re-ups and he gets shot down and he dies?”

“Jem,” Millie snapped.

“I can’t live my life that way, Jem,” Freddie replied calmly. Even just considering the possibility made her heart drop into her stomach, made it skip over a couple of its beats. “It’s him or it’s no one. I’m not just going to go and find someone else because he won’t be in the line of fire. I want Rosie. I don’t want anyone else. I can either have him now and lose him if that’s the way god’s decided it, or I can never let myself have him at all. I know which one I’d prefer.”

Jem passed a hand over her eyes.

Millie drew in a deep breath. “Alright,” she decided.

Jem let her hand fall to her side and nodded reluctantly. “Alright,” she agreed. “But don’t expect me to be best friends with him. I’m still so pissed at him I could strangle the bastard.”

“We’ll be civil,” Millie declared, shooting a meaningful look at Jem. “But he’s got a lot of work to do before I welcome him back in with open arms.”

Freddie breathed a smile, relieved to have won this battle, at least. “For me as well,” she assured Millie. “But at least he’s getting the chance.”

Freddie moved all of her everyday essential belongings to Rosie’s hut and took to living there while they waited for his new crew to arrive. It was against the rules but no one was going to say anything, not to the two of them. 

Meatball couldn’t have been happier about the arrangement, since it meant he got a bed of his own with his little dog bed he’d gotten for Christmas sat on top of it. His bed was the one opposite Rosie’s while Freddie remained in the one beside Rosie’s, the one which used to belong to Pappy.

It was torture for Rosie to live that way, to have Freddie so close but so far. But she wasn’t budging. She needed time and space, and she was being a good friend to him but she’d been serious when she’d told him he’d be getting nothing more. His fingers kept itching to brush her hair back from her face when she read before bed and he’d find himself having to fight the habit of dropping a kiss on her forehead as she passed him to go into the bathroom. This distance he’d fought so hard to close was firmly back in place, even more rigid than it had been before.

The two of them ate breakfast together - well, the two of them and Meatball, of course. After a while Millie joined them, and then Jem and Emma, until Rosie just joined the wireless operators’ table. And they were frosty with him, to be sure, but just because they were protective. They started to warm up as the days went by.

Rosie found his closest confidant in Croz. They’d been friendly before, naturally, but with all of Croz’s friends, the men he’d started all of this with, having gone down in Münster and with all of Rosie’s friends now back in the States, they found in each other someone who could understand the loneliness of being the one left behind better than anyone else.

Croz confided in Rosie about the affair he was having with a British officer of the Auxiliary Territorial Service, a woman named Sandra he’d met while attending a conference in Oxford. The fact of it made Rosie uneasy but he didn’t say anything. Croz was a grown man who made his own decisions and it was probably for the best if Rosie didn’t go ruining one of the only friendships he had left by sticking his opinions in where they weren’t wanted.

Instead, he focused on the fact of Croz visiting Oxford. Rosie had known he was going off base to a conference at a university while he was at the flak house but he hadn’t known he’d gone to Oxford. That was where Freddie went to university before the war.

“Yeah,” Croz told him with a small grin. “They put me up in one of the university dorms. There was obviously some sort of mix up in administration so my roommate - Subaltern Westgate - turned out to be a woman. Sandra.”

“Freddie’s from Oxford,” Rosie informed him.

Croz rolled his eyes. “I know. Just in case you forgot, Rosie, I’ve known her longer than you have.”

“Right.” He gave a sheepish laugh.

Croz laughed at him. “I went to visit her parents when I was there - she asked me to deliver a letter and some chocolate she stole from the mess hall,” he said. “Nice house she’s got, huh? Cute dogs, too. I liked the little one.”

“Earnie,” Rosie supplied, smiling at the memory of the little white dog he’d met over Christmas. “Yeah, I like him too.”

Croz rolled his eyes as he watched Rosie grin at the memory of one of Freddie’s dogs. “When’s the wedding, Rosie?” he teased, smirking into his coffee.

Rosie rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Shut up, Croz.”

When Rosie’s new crew arrived he was a lot more himself again. He helped Freddie move back into her own hut and left her with a kiss on the forehead before heading off to greet the men he’d be flying with from now on. It was so strange to imagine flying with anyone other than Pappy beside him but this was what he’d chosen. This was what he’d risked everything for.

The new guys were alright, they were just green. It was impossible to know how good they’d be at their jobs before they ever went up so Rosie didn’t try to draw any conclusions, he just tried to make them feel comfortable with him. 

It was jarring, the way all the men looked at him now. They looked at him the way he’d once looked at Majors Egan and Cleven. He wasn’t just Rosie to his new crew but instead Major Rosenthal, the man who’d survived twenty-five missions and stayed behind to continue the fight. They all looked at him with admiration as he passed, likely in awe of his bravery. He wanted to tell them not to admire him for it - he hadn’t done it out of courage but because he hadn’t been able to not do it, and it had damn near cost him everything.

“How are they?” Freddie wanted to know in the officers’ club that night. “Are they all nervous?” She didn’t speak much to the new boys anymore, not after Münster.

“Yeah,” Rosie admitted, glancing at her sidelong as they leaned against the bar. “They all look at me like I’m so much higher above them.”

“They’ve experienced no combat flying yet,” Freddie reminded him. “You’ve done an entire tour. Plus, you’re a major now. To them you may as well be a hero.”

“Only one hero around here, Fred, and it ain’t me,” Rosie replied, a reference to the night they met. That was the day Freddie had talked a German fighter pilot into landing at Thorpe Abbotts after he’d gotten confused in the air. She wouldn’t now be a leader in her own right if not for that.

Freddie laughed, rolling her eyes and hitting him playfully in the arm.

Rosie ordered and paid for their drinks but they stayed leaning against the bar. Rosie lingered wherever Freddie was these days, soaking up all the time she spared him before she inevitably left him to his own devices.

Freddie turned to face the rest of the room, leaning back against the bar as she sipped her lemonade through her straw, but Rosie turned to face her. He wanted to ask her to dance but knew she wouldn’t let him. The baby steps they were taking now felt slower, even, than the ones he’d had to take before he’d screwed everything up. 

“Thoughts?” Freddie asked him, feeling his eyes on her profile. 

“I miss you,” Rosie said. These days he liked to make a habit of always saying exactly what he was thinking. He had learned from his mistake and he wanted to prove it.

Freddie smiled at him, her brown eyes warm. “I’m right here.”

So close and yet still so very far.

“I got my first mission with my new crew next week,” Rosie informed her in place of a response to that. There was nothing else constructive he could say on the matter. “Next Thursday.”

Freddie nodded. Rosie was aware she likely already knew - Croz showed her his flight plans in advance in case she had any information on where the Luftwaffe resistance was likely to be the strongest, and she got advance warning to work through manipulation strategies anyway. But he’d wanted to be the one to tell her. 

“We’re flying over France,” he added.

“Over Bordeaux,” Freddie acknowledged. “I’ve always wanted to go.”

“To Bordeaux?” Rosie asked.

“Mh-hm,” Freddie hummed. “To anywhere in France, really. I’ve always dreamed about Paris.”

“I’ll take you,” Rosie offered. “Once it’s liberated.”

“Then I’ll take you to Vienna,” she decided in return. “It’s only fair.”

Rosie grinned. “Can’t wait.”

Freddie laughed. “I’m counting down the minutes.”

As her laughter slowly faded she considered Rosie thoughtfully, sipping on her lemonade, her fingers holding her straw steady. Her gaze was strong and resolute. Rosie felt like she was analysing every thought he’d ever had.

Finally, satisfied with whatever she saw in him, Freddie smiled. “I have leave this weekend,” she announced. “I’m going back home, naturally. If you can get leave as well then I would like for you to come. Friday to Sunday. I’ll be leaving here at eight Friday morning and getting back probably about six o’clock Sunday evening.”

Rosie nodded. He was fighting to tame his wide smile. He knew what this meant to her, letting him return home with her. He was making progress. “Yeah, I’d love to,” he replied. His heart was racing. “I’ll check with Jack to make sure he doesn’t need me for anything. Since we’ll be back before Monday I don’t see why he would.”

Freddie laughed quietly to herself. “I already checked with Jack.”

“Oh.”

“He says it’s fine. You just have to put in the request with Bennett, and seeing as he doesn’t seem to deny you anything these days I imagine he’ll approve it readily.”

Rosie didn’t know what to do with that little jab about his re-upping so he elected to ignore it. “Right,” he said. “I’ll ask first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Good,” Freddie said. “Do. Mum would like to know in advance.”

“Sure,” Rosie agreed. “I’ll let you know as soon as possible.”

Freddie eyed him curiously before nodding. “Alright.” Then she left him without another word to go and sit with her friends.

Rosie spent the rest of the evening talking to Croz and Jack, pretending not to look at her. He wasn’t fooling anyone.

[valentine-cafe]

*rubs hands together* for my lovely bbg hàoyŭ + vampire au my digital footprint are full of me wanting this man to breed me holy shit, i wanna pull on his hair and drink from him like a goddamn fountain and him doing the same. WOOOF WOOF ARFF ARF

"mutual obsession or nothing. kill for me like i would kill for you. long for me every second i'm gone like i long for you. see no one else but me like i see no one else but you, put my blood around your neck and declare me your religion... so my love... will you give me some of that?" she hinted at the crimson paint, knowing full well that the thing was not one of those created for art, but rather taken from a poor soul, "well, preferably one that hasn't been touched by your brushes of course.” his lover leans up, breathing in his scent, ones that put her in a brief state of serenity.

.. and a fucking horn dog on the next.

"by the damned you smell so fucking delicious, i’m changing my mind, can i have your blood instead?" she murmured, trailing kisses down hàoyŭ's pale neck, staining it with her lipstick, occasionally grazing it with her sharp fangs, teasing him. her hands couldn't stay still too, trailing up places where it shouldn't be when they're out in public until they reached his shoulders, the tips of her white hanfu sleeves, stained red–a clear indication she had just fed—yet her thirst for him remained insatiable. "you'd spoil your wife, wouldn't you, husband?”

. ˚◞♡ vampire boyfriend x fem vampire reader◞ ₊˚

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ᥫ᭡ vampire au hàoyŭ

. ˚◞꒰ 🍪 ꒱ vampire x reader ⊹ ۪ ࣪

‧꒰ character sheet . legendarium . prompt page ꒱‧

the vampire prince expects nothing less from his darling wife. the sting of her fangs has always been bliss. who is he to deny such pleasures? especially from a lady as lovely, as carnal, as she is.

“you have no filter,”

hàoyŭ still dares to muse. the feel of your lips graces his pale skin. a gift, he has declared numerous times. with your hands that trail over his dark hanfu and into places unknown to most a ribbon to tie it all together.

“mmm, needy, are you not?” his hands trace. they grip at your wrists after he strokes your white, tainted sleeves downward. the feel of your slow-beating pulse is only music to his ears. and so he digs his thumb into the point. “you have already fed, my dearest. yet here you are again.”

he may be in his studio, with windows wide open — but a part of him cares not. let the townsfolk see the beauty that will surely be their demise; for all he cares.

nevertheless, the threat of his father’s lectures tickle his ears. with a sigh, he flicks his wrist and the blinds are drawn.

like a moth to the flame. two large hands encircle your waist. his steely grip hoists you onto his lap before a hand ventures to the back of your head.

“feast,” he muses. tender. devout. “feast to your heart’s content. and do not stop even then. feast until the crimson between us outshines my newest canvas.”

of course you comply. and of course, he leans into the delightful pain of your fangs that sink into his neck. to bear your bite is the highest honour. so he will do so with a submission shown to you - and you alone.

as you drink of his deep, dark blood, he groans. tightens his grip. the swell of his gums around his own fangs remind him of his own hunger. the itch to mark you as you do him. like any artist signs off their most prized work and possession.

“my darling. . .”

your kisses, bites, only live on. a beautiful pattern lies in the wake of your endless path of bloodlust. desire. and when he has finally - surprisingly - had enough. your back meets the wood of his desk. brushes and paints spill to the floor without care as he splays the surface out for his beloved.

his fangs replace yours. his beautiful, maleficent canvas.

and how, how you bleed into him with each bite. just as your scarlet essence bleeds all over his lips. all over his table. an art to behold. a masterpiece - you are.

[darthgloris]

The Artist (Alicia Sierra x fem!reader)

Summary: Y/N (a.k.a. Akita) is part fo the robbery and works backstage as negotiator. Even though her career in art didn't work out, she still loves it. When she meets the leader Inspector she feels immediately drawn to her and starts sketching...

Requested: yes

Warnings: mentions of violence, fluff, teasing, SPOILERS

A/N: sorry but I lost the request! I'm really really sorry, hope you can forgive me!! Here it is, this was really fun to write! 🥰🥰❤❤

...

Drawing was my greatest love when I was a teenager.

While other girls may have been into make-up, or drama, or gossip, or boys... I'd stay in and draw, paint, sketch. Name it, I've tried it at least once. I was an unusual girl growing up. Girls at that age were interested mostly in the hobbies listed above, while I loved the exact opposite: drawing, reading, listening to music, learning languages, playing with dogs, studying like there was no tomorrow.

At university, I chose Graphic Design. And I loved it. Learning about my favorite thing in the whole wide world, filling in the gaps of my abilities, picking up new skills... that felt like heaven. I got out of college with my head high, amazing grades and an even better graduation. Although I wasn't prepared for the world outside. Soon enough, I started struggling to pay rent, especially in a city like Madrid. And I had no choice but to give it up.

Then, I met the Professor. A man just as unusual as me, who just so happened to have saved my life right there and then. The first heist was a success. I worked well with the gang, and given my love for working behind the scenes, I was the negotiator. Raquel was a very interesting individual, but I didn't get to speak to her much, as the Professor was the leading voice of the heist. It didn't bother me at all when they got together, to be honest I was rooting for them. When it all ended, I took my share of the money and went to live in Japan. It was beautiful: the perfect balance of modernity and tradition, the amazing food, the beautiful views, the friendly people, the new language. Every little detail fascinated me.

A year later, I came to know that Rio got kidnapped. And there I was again, back into the heist business. Once again cast as negotiator, this time I had to take the upper hand, because the Professor and Lisboa had their own part of the plan to take care of.

...

Current day - during the heist

I rested my feet onto the table of my hideout as I watched the TV intently. The news channel finally gave me important information: Rio was in Spain, finally. The poor boy took a tumble down the plane, falling on the ground in handcuffs and dirty clothes. Poor thing, I thought. Behind him, a figure emerged, a red-haired pregnant woman in a white coat and black cap. Inspectora Alicia Sierra. I found myself unable to tear my eyes from her face, as if I was in a trance: she was a very attractive woman, there's no denying that.

I wanted to remember that face while talking to her, so I was quick to reach for a pencil and paper and start reproducing her face. I glanced at the TV once in a while to get an idea of what she was like, memorising her traits as I transferred them on the paper sheet.

...

I pulled on my headphones and lined up the microphone to the side of my face, trying to calm my nerves before talking to the woman I was pining for a few hours ago. I picked up the drawing I made earlier and used it as a reference to draw her from other angles.

"Professor." A female voice spoke. Calm, collected, confident.

"Inspectora Sierra, how lovely to hear you." I replied, mirroring her tone.

"Ah, señorita Akita. I wasn't expecting you." Alicia said. "Well? Aren't you going to ask me what I'm wearing? I'd say it runs in your gang to play games like this."

"I'm assuming maternity clothes. Tell me, is it a boy or a girl?" I tantalised, running the pencil on the paper to make a rough sketch of her face.

She chuckled. "My, my, nosy girl. I didn't remember the Professor being this curious, but between you and me, sweetheart, I like you better." She clicked her tongue, presumably paired with a wink.

"Touché, preciosa," I shook my head, laughing at her attempt at flirting. "That's enough niceties for now, you can flirt with me later. Let's cut to the chase."

There was a long pause after she laughed in shock at my bluntness. I smirked, almost too proudly for my first conversation with a pregnant woman I've seen once on the TV. During the pause, I kept my eyes trained on the rough piece of paper while my wrist made a flicking motion to draw her strands of hair.

"I'm assuming your dear sister is having the time of her life. I don't think you've escaped to Germany. We could find her in a heartbeat, you know. I could barely picture it, a 17 year old girl thrust in the midst of rapists, drug users, murderers in the jails of, say, Northeast Asia? Ah, the poor thing. So young and so naive, the spat image of you, she wouldn't last a beat." She chuckled humourlessly.

"And what's your point, Inspectora? Your empathy for my little sister doesn't add up to when you tortured Rio, does it?" I didn't even bother to look up from my work as her threat was no longer valid. My little sister died of cancer last month, and the news hadn't reached Spain. That offered us a very good advantage.

She ignored my comment. "Akita, listen to me very carefully. Turn the Professor and Raquel in, and your sister remains untouched. Think about it, sweetheart. And think quickly, I am a busy woman, as you know."

"I most certainly do, señora Sierra." I said innocently, in a stupid but successful attempt to tease her.

"It's señorita now, actually." Alicia corrected.

"Good to know," I mirrored her flirty attitude from before. "On second thought, you were right, how foolish of me. What are you wearing?"

"You're impossible, Akita," she replied, laughing. "Don't get any ideas, sweetheart. I'm way out of your league."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

I gasped in mock offense, making her laugh genuinely. "Well, am I mistaken or am I actually growing on you? I bet you wouldn't be upset about being out of my league if that was the case."

"Shut up, sweetheart." She said mischievously.

"Make me." I teased her.

Her playful scoff was interrupted silently as she suddenly hung up.

I was confused for a moment as my hand moved the pencil confidently on the paper. As I stroked the graphite onto the rough surface, my mind wandered. Alicia was flirting shamelessly with me, in front of all her colleagues, and in a recorded phone call, no less. So either she was really brave or really stupid. Maybe a mixture of both.

This woman was really mesmerising: she was incredibly intelligent, as I could tell, she was confident, sarcastic, dominant and gorgeous. She was brave for raising a child on her own, as she specified that she wasn't married.

If the circumstances were different, I'd even go after her. I wished I had met her differently, because this woman was far beyond average and just about the quickest crush I've ever gotten. She was certainly not someone you'd want to lose. I wanted to talk to her again, leaving out our positions in this makeshift war. It seemed like we were getting along perfectly, flirting with each other as if the call wasn't recorded.

I took my hand away from the drawing and looked at my finished product. I was extremely proud of it: it looked just like her, the lines were confident and creative and the shading in a cross-hatching technique was on point. I bet she'd like it, I thought. My eyes lifted from the paper as I got an idea. Maybe she would.

Aikido, my Akita Inu, looked at me quizzically and tilted his head, almost as if questioning my decision. "Who knows? Maybe this will be what wins her heart." He yawned in response. "Oh, shut up, Aikido."

...

It had been a few days since I sent the drawings to Sierra, and apparently it went over well. The next time we negotiated she asked everyone to leave the tent and didn't confront me about the drawing, but rather she got friendlier: she started to open up, telling me things about her, showing her soft side, laughing, being careless, even saying that we'd meet one day. Of course, she loved the sketch, but we were still enemies, enemies who were intensely pining for each other and instead of doing something about their attraction they played games from a phone call and flirted shamelessly. Because acting on things was the most difficult thing you could ever do in your life. It requires courage, determination, confidence, and given the circumstances, you needed double these qualities.

And I was getting brave these days. And also a little crazy.

So I started sending her a sketch every other day to tease her. One day it was a sketch of her, the next of Aikido, the next of the police tent, the next of her holding the teddy bear.

It continued like this until she sold out the Government and started working alone. First she stopped by Sergio, which ended up in the ultimate team-up as they were on their own and Raquel was finally out of custody and in the bank. Then she left the Professor alone for a while.

...

I heard a knock on my door and Aikido got up on his feet, startled. I carefully stepped closer and tried to take a peek. My eyes caught a flash of red that I'd recognise anywhere, I immediately knew that was Alicia. I quickly opened the door and she looked at me, almost fazed. After a few seconds, she smiled at me, and said, "I promised you we'd meet, one way or another." I chuckled, moved, and let her in immediately. The second hideout of the heist was none other than my own home, a detached house in the middle of nowhere that the Professor was able to get me. It suited me perfectly, there was room for me and Aikido, hell, it even had an atelier.

"Welcome to my home, Inspectora," I said as she took in her surroundings.

"You don’t have to call me that anymore. Just 'Alicia' will do, sweetheart," she replied, a smirk playing on her lips. I gazed at her sweetly, meanwhile surprised at how my attraction to her had grown from a small infatuation to a full-on crush, and realised she didn't have a baby bump anymore.

"You-you gave birth?"

"Yeah, I did. In the stormwater tank."

"That must have been... uncomfortable."

"Sweetie, I had to blow a Saint Bernard out my ass. It would have been uncomfortable even on a hospital bed."

I couldn’t help but laugh at her joke, and soon enough she joined in. "So, is it a baby boy or a baby girl?"

"Girl. I named her Victoria." She said.

"That's a lovely name." I smiled at her.

"Speaking of names," Alicia leaned back on the table and gazed at me, her tantalising green eyes twinkling with mischief. "What's your name?"

That question took me off guard, as I almost tripped over my own feet while holding a glass of water.

She chuckled at my antics. "Somebody got flustered."

I cleared my throat. "Keep telling yourself that, Alicia." I loved how her name rolled off my tongue so easily.

"So you're not answering?"

"Not for the time being, no," I clicked my tongue and winked at her, mocking her for the first time we met. "I like being called Akita."

"Like the dog?" She asked.

"Actually, like the city. But yeah, also like the dog."

As if on cue, Aikido trotted inside.

"Oh, yeah, this is Aikido." I said briefly as Alicia offered her hand for the dog to smell.

"How adorable, you even have an Akita Inu." She noticed, chuckling when Aikido rubbed himself on her legs for pets.

"Wow, he never does that with anyone," I said in surprise. "Maybe he has a good feeling about you."

"Well, I have the blessing of your dog now, so we can't go wrong, can we?" She joked, scratching his weak spot. Soon enough, she even got his leg going.

"He really must love you," I laughed. "Usually he's very cat-like, I'm surprised he's actually asking to be petted."

"Well, I tend to grow on people." She said charismatically.

"Yeah, you do." I mumbled. "Hey, why don't you get comfortable? I'll make dinner and we could watch something."

"Dinner sounds great, thanks," she sighed in relief and I led her to the couch.

"What do you feel like having?" I asked her.

"Whatever you want, sweetie. Your house, your rules." She replied.

"Okay." I hunted through my fridge, hoping to find something good. I found a few eggs, and enough stuff to make salad. "You must be tired after giving birth and running away from the police. I'll make you something to restore your energies."

"Yeah, it was quite the drama. I've barely had time to breathe," she rested her head on the back of the couch at an angle where she could look at me. "You know, you draw really well."

"Oh, thanks." I accepted the compliment.

"Where did you go to art school?" She asked.

"Madrid Academy of Art," I replied. "How did you know I went to art school?" I immediately felt stupid after asking that question.

"Well, a ton of things gave you away. First of all, your proportions in the sketch of me you sent me. Obviously, your choice of media and type of paper that go well together, and the fact that you used binder to keep the sketch's lightfastness in a quantity that was balanced as to avoid damaging it. Then the smaller things, like your posture, the way you sit, the way you hold things, your hands, your eye for observation, and of course, the unmistakable smell of paint coming from over there..." she pointed at a room on the other side of the house. "...which I assume is your atelier."

"Wow, you're good," I laughed in shock. "And yeah, that is my atelier."

Alicia hummed in satisfaction. I turned around to check on her and she was looking at me in a different way now: her pupils were dilated and she was making puppy eyes at me, batting her eyelashes while pouting. Her eyes asked the question.

"You want to see the atelier?" I asked her, surprised.

"Yeah, I'd love to," she replied.

"You have beautiful eyes," I blurted out, and immediately cringed internally. Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

I heard her get up from the couch and silently step elsewhere. Since I couldn't hear her anymore, I turned around to check on her and found her in front of me in a heartbeat, hovering over me while my back hit the counter. I swallowed thickly and tried to hide my blush, but she noticed right away. Alicia grazed my face with her fingertips, starting at my cheekbone and trailing down my jawline. Her fingers brushed my neck for a split second, sending a shiver down my spine. Then her thumb slowly traced over my bottom lip, her eyes flickering to my eyes and back to my mouth. Her intelligent eyes asked for permission to kiss me, and I gave in without thinking twice.

In a second, Alicia brushed her lips against mine tentatively, with hesitation. She checked on me to see if I was okay, and that was all she needed. Without a second thought, she crashed her lips on mine more eagerly, her hand resting on the back of my head. I cupped her cheek and kissed her back with the same amount of desire.

She pulled away and leaned her forehead on mine, sighing in content. I licked my lips and gazed back at her, clearing my throat out of embarrassment. "That was, um... that was good."

"Good." She said.

The next few minutes were quiet. I cooked while she kept her eyes trained on my every motion, as if to make sure I didn't get hurt. When dinner was ready, I prepared our plates and took her to the couch. She sat down next to me, thanking me for the food. I put my feet up on the table and she followed suit. I turned on the TV, and she looked for a movie to watch together.

"This one?"

"This one."

The evening was quiet. We ate our food, which she really appreciated, by the look on her face, and Aikido stole a couple of pieces as well. About halfway through the movie, Alicia leaned her head on my shoulder, snuggling her body into mine. I froze in place, taken off guard by the action, but honestly I kind of like it.

"Is this okay?" She asked me, noticing the look on my face.

"Of course," I smiled at her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to me. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head and felt her melt into the embrace.

"Your hug is so amazing," she sighed. "It makes me feel safe."

My heart leaped out of my chest at that. "You are safe, honey," I kissed her temple lovingly. "I promise."

[seumyo]

hi eumeum, im finally here after taking such a long time to figure out something for your event. happy 1000th, eumy. im soso proud of your journey ! i'm gonna send in an entry of me + dabi ♡

i'm a very laid-back and chill, but i can be serious in certain areas. for mbti it's istj-a. my hobby is performing (singing/acting) interests includes gothic culture and rock music. um um i like spiders and i dislike overly loud people.

uh i actually don't have any idea what to write for the description thingy, i apologise 😭 but id love to have a totally like expectant relationship w dabi like the "oh ofc they'd be tgt, they're literally made for eachother 😒" typa thing

colour uhh black, white, blue. song is always been you by chris grey :v aesthetic? rockstar core.

teehee im so excited for a scrapbook thingy from eumy herself 😳😳 take your time and don't stress, okay? giving you jars of hearts and affirming you from here. mahal kita eumyyy

ᯓ★ DABI | TOUYA + SEN!

★ The moment Dabi met you, it's like every other day, something that isn’t new to him. In an alternate universe where Touya is a burnt-out music prodigy set to inherit the family business (which he doesn’t particularly take interest in because of how strained his relationship with his father is), he’s a college student in psychology when he met you.

★ Did not even notice you because he was blinded by all the pent-up frustrations he had with the expectations placed upon him as the first son of the Todoroki family, plus he wasn’t one to be drawn to people that much considering he also had his studies to focus on. He was balancing everything all at once, so he doesn’t notice the well-known lead vocalist on campus trying to talk to him.

★ That is, until he’s encouraged by his classmates to try and join the school band to pass the time. He didn’t see the point of trying, but he decides to stay and watch one of your performances during an event to see if it’d pique his interest. Man, he was pulled into a trance when he heard your voice and took note that the band was indeed lacking a bass player to tie it all together.

★ It’s a shame to let your talent go to waste, so he thought about it thoroughly. And finally, he finally approached you after one of your performances with his application sheet.

★ Touya finds himself not being able to say no to you. Your other bandmates could ask if he could start again from his succession, but he’ll just say he’s on a little break (maybe even pretend to be busy on his phone for a few minutes), but when you do ask the same thing from him, suddenly he’s already ready to begin from that exact part as many times as you want him to.

★ He’s chill whenever he’s not stressed with anything and would take most opportunities to tease you. “Oh, you want me to teach you how to play? You sure you’re up for it, hm? I mean, you could just say that you want to spend some one-on-one time with me.”

★ Practices with him include just Touya staring at you (he can’t focus on the music sheet). Whenever you have him as your sub vocalist, he's secretly happy that he can finally see your face when you’re singing (he's used to seeing your side or back most of the time since he’s playing the bass).

★ He confesses when he’s sure of his feelings. Touya doesn’t want to rush into things haphazardly, so it takes him a lot of time to even consider confessing. In your graduating year, he finally confesses on your last performance together. He’s so scared of rejection (and the fact that he might not see you as often anymore—so he’s just imagining getting rejected and losing contact with you) that his hands were slightly shaking.

★ Everyone isn't surprised anymore. You’re right, Sen, you and Touya are that couple that just screams, “Oh, definitely. They’re each other’s halves, if you ask me.” You complement and balance each other so well that it just works. Yes, there may be ups and downs on the relationship, especially since Touya hasn’t really pursued anyone but you (he’s new to everything that one does in a relationship), but he tries his best to ease arguments as soon as he cools down, remember your likes and dislikes, and put in a bit more effort than he already was doing.

★ The relationship includes him being just soft (he tries to hide it) whenever he watches you perform, whether it’s acting or singing; he’s your number one fan. Touya introduces you to Natsuo first, then his mom second, and his other siblings last. He never introduced you to his father because he just didn’t want to. Him sending you videos he sees of couples doing subtle yet romantic things together with the message that says, “us.” Him letting you use his phone for whatever reason you have, he doesn’t have anything to hide, and trusts you so you could literally just take his phone whenever he's not using it, and he’ll be ok with it. His love language of physical touch comes out whenever you two are out; he just holds the top of your head with his hand and thinks it’s the most appropriate thing to do so he doesn’t lose you in the crowd.

[cartooncreaturelover]

Hello it's me again!

So I have some more asks, some relating to art, some just random stuff I think of XD

1. Favorite character of yours that you like drawing?

2. What's your favorite show/movie? (If you don't have a favorite, just name ones you like)

3. Oldest oc you have? How did they change throughout the time you had em?

Thanks in advance!

✨ Hi! Thank you so much for asking more questions! (You're literally the first person to send in more than one ask before! Thank you for bringing some life to my ask box, lol!)

Question 1. I don't know if I have a favorite character of mine to draw, but the first character that popped into my head was Darragh, probably since I used to draw him A LOT & know how to draw him pretty well from all the times I've drawn him before! (I'm hoping to get a light board this holiday season so I can actually finish an updated version of his reference sheet soon!)

Question 2. I like a lot of shows & movies, so I'll just list the many that I like instead!

Some Of The Movies I Like Include... Back To The Future (trilogy) Little Shop of Horrors (1986) Ferris Bueller's Day Off Gremlins Gremlins 2: The New Batch How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004) Wolfwalkers Shrek 2 Puss in Boots: The Last Wish The "Spider-Man: Spider-Verse" series The "Kung Fu Panda" series The "Sing" series The "Trolls" series

Some Of The TV Shows I Like Include... Bluey The Owl House Infinity Train Ducktales (2017) Gravity Falls Steven Universe My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005) Our Flag Means Death Bob's Burgers Central Park SpongeBob SquarePants (Seasons 1-3)

(You know, writing this list out has made me realize how much I like musicals... & DreamWorks Animation???)

Question 3. The oldest OC that I have is my first OC! I haven't drawn her in a long time, but her name is Magic & she initially was one of those classic "character a child likes, so they barely recolor the character & call it their own;" the actual character was Spyro from the Skylanders series! (Yes, I love "Pug Spyro!") Initially, the only difference was that she had white accent colors instead of gold/bronze. As I got better at drawing & designing characters, I began to actually make her more original & less like Skylanders' Spyro (pictured below!)

The first drawing (which is actually the first drawing I ever made of her!) is from 2014, I think in April; I believe we were going on a school field-trip that day to a trampoline park as a reward for the good students? I drew her with no reference in class with my pencil & colored pencils on a piece of notebook paper! Whenever that day was, it was the day I decided to take art seriously & was the start of my journey to getting as good at drawing as I am today!

The second drawing is (I think) from around 2018 when I really started to try & make her legally distinct from Skylanders' Spyro; different shaped horns, fin-like ears, furred belly & (not pictured) tail tip (kinda like Banjo's)! I made that drawing with my old & cheap watercolor set on what (I think) is sketchbook watercolor paper; & yes, that tiny little portrait is in a tiny little picture frame!

The third drawing is a concept doodle for a 4.0 design for Magic from around 2021 or 2022? I never finalized the design, but the idea was to really change her body type into being more chubby & pear-shaped like some stuffed animals I have, as well as adding stars to her design since I think of her as my "spark of inspiration" for where I am now! Since I've been working on redesigning another dragon-like character of mine recently, perhaps I'll finally get around to finalizing Magic 4.0, who knows!

You (or anybody else who may see this!) can totally ask me more questions about my interests or old/new characters of mine if you’d like! Thank you so much for taking the time to ask me fun questions to answer! ✨

[yung-terps]

A stream of consciousness. Not a new realization but I check in on distanced people more than they check in on me. I think I have come up with some ideas to play around with for a new poem! A little stoked because I haven't written one in awhile. Keep accidentally hanging out with dudes who ultimately just want to have sex. The benefit of the doubt hardly ever benefits me. There was one cool dude this past week, I guess. The thing is, when they skirt around their intentions, I kind of get off on getting them to just like. Voice it aloud. At some point during the night, I learn he is moving across the damn ass country soon and take note, considering I want something long-term. Later we start to makeout and it's fun, it's whatever. I like kissing. We break away after a little bit and I suggest that we walk to the corner store. He agrees, slipping in an "after". After what? Answer the question. And he eventually did. I want to fuck you. Surprise. He didn't even finger me. It was fine. See you never. My roommate is home from a 2-month thing. I cleaned the apartment from top to bottom... all of its nooks and crannies... I hope they feel welcomed! Still some stuff I want to hang and touch-up, all easily overlooked though. They are my secrets. Things just need to look lived in now. It's all too.... untouched... even though in actuality I spent the last few hours putting my hands all over everything. Arguably the most I have in a long time. Dusting and placing and rotating. You get it though... the living room needs to be hung out in.... broken in. I'm sure the suitcases have already made the place feel less... sterilized and proper... no longer like a set. The overhead lighting in the kitchen is harsh, always has been... often takes me out of reality! I have an idea to hang these paper pyramid-like string lights that I have had for years and years. Some are beat-up but I think it would add to the space... give us more options... and it just would be cute. Before my shower I removed the stain glass lightbulb, only leaving in two small red ones. Stood there, the water nice and hot. Sat on the tub floor. Closed my eyes. Leaned forward. Listened to the music I chose. Got out, screwed the loose bulb back in. I have an ongoing joke with myself that I will find my missing hard drive in a stupid silly fucking place, coping about it an entire year later. I noticed that I had some board games that were still taped shut from when I moved. Laughed with myself about the possibilities and opened them up. I am still holding out hope but no luck this time! I may knock on my old front door one day. I kind of resent the new owners for buying my home though. And how quick it all was. Like, get fucked, but also can I please have my hard drive? I mean, if it's in there. What I did find was a pile of half-used notepad sheets for a game that hasn't been played in forever. Some of them were drawn on by people I no longer speak to. One had a doodle done by my ex-boyfriend. It's weird to think about how I have lived, like, thirteen different lives. I think I would forgive a lot of people. Or even apologize to them. I also found two 8-in-1 retractable ballpoint pens. So, like, some treasure and a lot of thoughts. I did a little bit of glueing and taping and messing around in my journal. I feel I am doing okay in a very general sense. Trying my best and keeping up. I could do better. Can't we all though? Is that a cop-out? I don't care about money, I don't know, it's just practically all my parents would argue about in front of us. I don't care as long as my shit gets paid on time. But I think I have to shift gears and thought processes because I would like to live a little more comfortably, ultimately concerning myself with it less. Gonna look over my resume. Keep going, keep busy. Try to slim down my closet. Fix my camera. Maybe it did end up working on my last trip. Do this and that. Keep on playing Tears of the Kingdom and text dudes less. There's more passion involved with the former. Used used used. Wondering. Navigating. October is almost here.

[canarymemories]

passing papers

rating: general audiences archive warning: no archive warnings apply relationship: sena izumi/tsukinaga leo additional tags: pre-canon, set during their first year, pining, but like the very early stages of pining, fluff, do u ever think about first year izuleo bc i do :) words: 1,399 published: 2023-03-14

summary: or the first time leo writes him a song.

here on ao3

tsukinaga leo is weird. this is something izumi learns early on.

they haven’t known each other for long — what had started as begrudgingly accepted voice lessons turned into leo seeking him out during any break during the school day to talk about some masterpiece he’d written on his assignment or an exam paper just for it to be returned with a bright red zero on it — yet leo’s slid into his life so easily that izumi isn’t sure what to make of it. 

he’s not used to people who aren’t put off by his attitude much less used to ones that consider him a friend. most simply turn away and leave when izumi snarks at them, but that seems like it’s only drawn leo in closer. so yes, in short, leo is weird.

or maybe izumi is the weird one for not minding leo’s presence all that much, but in his defense, it’s nice to have someone else who’s also serious about the whole idol thing. especially in a place like yumenosaki where most of the student body is content to skip class, spending their time loitering around, driven by nothing in particular, instead creating messes in the practice rooms or other areas on campus that they claim as their own.

still, none of that prepares izumi for leo to present him with a thin stack of papers, music notes strewn across them, in the abandoned classroom that once was only izumi’s space. “for you,” he says with a needless bit of flourish once izumi takes them.

he can help but stare at the papers. he’s never been gifted music before.

everything izumi’s parents had gifted him throughout the years, toys and clothes and books and whatever else a kid would want, nothing they’d given him had ever made him feel much of anything. none of it had ever truly felt genuine to him, even as a child. yet, these papers, scribbled on and slightly crinkled at the edges, make something inside of him flutter.

leo looks expectant in front of him, eyes shining bright just as they had that morning when he’d ambushed izumi at the shoe lockers with the promise of a surprise. “so,” he says, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “what do you think?”

“you wrote it for me?” izumi asks despite knowing the answer. they may not have known each other long, but it would be hard for him to not see how much music and composing means for leo.

“mmhm!” leo leans forward into his space, peering down at the notes from overhead. when he looks up at izumi again, he grins. “you’re my muse, y’know? you’re just so pretty that whenever i look at you, all sorts of music starts in my head.” leo spins away from him as if dancing to a silent song that only he can hear. that seems to be the case as a triumphant little laugh bubbles from him, hand coming up to write in the air.

izumi’s breath catches in his throat. “oh.” as much as he might call leo an idiot, izumi knows full well that he’s a genius when it comes to music. and now he’s written him a whole song and called izumi his muse.

if izumi wasn’t unsure what to do about this all before, then he certainly has no idea now.

leo returns to stand in front of him once more when their eyes meet. “well, do you like it?” he shakes izumi’s hands. “tell me, sena, tell me! i’ll die from the suspense if you don’t tell me now.”

he rolls his eyes, pulling his hands from leo’s. “don’t be so dramatic.” leo pouts.

izumi looks back at the music, notes hastily written, an idea needing to be put to paper before it would be forgotten. even with his years in ballet and time spent with leo who finds sheet music as easy as breathing, who can fix izumi’s pitch by ear alone, izumi still can’t quite hear the right notes in his head. “play it for me and then i’ll tell you what i think.”

leo looks pleased enough with that response. “let’s go then!” 

he doesn’t get a chance to ask where they’re going as leo grabs his hand, pulling him out the door and down the hall, leaving their classroom behind in favor of heading in the direction of the practice rooms. he doesn’t bother telling leo to not run when pulling him along; izumi knows from experience that he simply won’t listen. who knew someone so small could pull so hard.

finding the first practice room that’s not littered with people skipping out on unit practice or other responsibilities, leo steps in and leads the two of them to the piano that’s set off to the side of the room.

“sit with me,” leo says, dropping izumi’s hand to pull out the bench. 

seeing no reason not to, izumi sits next to him. the bench isn’t exactly meant for two people, so their legs touch, pressing against one another as leo moves. the papers find their way to the stand in front of them.

just as every time leo comes into contact with an instrument, his demeanor shifts. while he’s still just as energetic and noisy at times, it’s more subdued as he focuses on playing whatever it is to his heart’s content. izumi’s seen it plenty of times by this point; the way leo brightens whenever he gets inspiration from the most random of things, how animated he gets when composing even if it’s on the wall or floor.

it’s admirable, izumi thinks, if not a little endearing.

leo’s hands move to rest on the keys, silently counting himself in if the vague bob of his head means anything. and with that, he begins.

within only the first few notes, izumi thinks it’s beautiful. it’s a ballad, slow moving as leo’s fingers press the keys with practiced ease. the melody sounds inquisitive as if searching for something, embarking on a self guided journey. the bass line meets it occasionally, supporting it in an obvious harmony, before they break apart once more, a promise to meet again the longer the song continues.

there’s something about it, izumi isn’t quite sure what, that reminds him of spring, of a gradual rebirth and the calm it brings with it. 

the steady give and take leads to a crescendo, music swelling and leo moves along with it, their arms brushing briefly as he plays. then, for a measure or two, there’s silence as he rests before the notes begin again, far quieter in their quest, a little more cautious yet still confident, a melody from the beginning repeating itself as it grows stronger.

it’s at that point that izumi realizes, finally, having been too caught up in watching him play, that leo isn’t even looking at the music. he knows he shouldn’t be surprised with how many other songs leo is able to recreate without issue, yet there’s something that feels different this time.

as leo reaches the end, a soft but clear final chord lingering in the room, izumi feels a little breathless. this song is for you echoes in his mind.

leo removes his hands from the keys as he turns to face izumi. “what do you think?” he asks again, buzzing from the excitement of a performance for one. he’s clearly restraining himself from not reaching out and grabbing at izumi again.

“it’s beautiful,” izumi answers quietly. it would be a lie to call it anything else, a crime to ignore the swirl of emotions it’s left him with. he glances over at the music then over to leo, finding his mouth curling into a soft smile all on its own. “thank you, leo-kun.”

leo’s eyes widen slightly. “ah, sena! keep smiling like that, i just got an idea!” he then flings himself from the piano bench and onto the floor, pulling the mark he keeps stowed away in his pockets for moments just like these out.

izumi sighs, knowing he’ll have to stop leo before the marker actually touches the floor. yumenosaki might not be the most upstanding place, but he’d prefer it to not get any dirtier than it already is.

leo may definitely be strange, but, as izumi watches him mutter things to himself on the ground, he doesn’t think he minds.

end notes: hi, i have so many thoughts about first year izuleo and just. them being each other's first friends and learning what it means to be friends and navigating that with the utter mess yumenosaki was back then. (please talk to me about them) good luck to everyone pulling for fs leo on engstars <33 title is from egg's passing papers

[jodilin65]

TUESDAY, MAY 31, 1994 I just typed a letter to Bob and have one ready for Kim tomorrow, too.

I don’t really feel like watching TV now. I watched a little while I ate my popcorn, though. Guess now I’ll go listen to some music or just veg out for a while till I can fall asleep.

Tomorrow I have to get blood drawn, meet Tom’s parents, and we’re also planning on videotaping me signing for the sign language program we hope to launch.

Later…

I am in the car right now, heading to get stuck. Lucky me, huh?

We’re not sure if we can see his parents cuz he called there and they said they were going out.

Yuck. I’m coughing up lots of sticky stuff.

It’s too bumpy for me to write now, so I’ll continue either in the doctor’s office or at home.

Later…

I am at the doctor’s office now. Amazingly there was one other guy only in the waiting room. He just went to get stuck first.

We’re going to KFC after. Then who knows where?

I just asked Tom if he had anything to say in here. He said nope. Not today.

Later…

I’m taping the music awards now. According to Andy, Gloria will be on at some point.

Got 3 letters from Bob today. In one of Bob’s letters, he enclosed a letter from a guy named Donald. He said he talked to him, warning him (Donald) of what’s OK and what’s not OK to write. I made a deal with Bob that anyone can write to me as long as they send their letters through Bob and never get my address. When I write them back, I’ll either write directly to them or send them to Bob to give to them. I know I can trust Bob’s judgment with this.

I got a package from Kim. She sent 2 sheets of 18 stamps. The kind you stick, rather than lick. She sent 2 boxes of envelopes. Each box contained 100 envelopes. Now we’re at a total of nearly 300 envelopes here!

Lastly, she sent 2 tapes of funny outgoing answering messages which I like a lot. I already put one on my voicemail. I duped them on Tom’s stereo and will soon send her back the originals. I’ve got to call Andy and let him know about the tapes and see if he wants to hear them. I’m sure he will. I also have to leave Kim’s address on his VM.

Later…

I just turned the VCR off and later I’ll watch the awards. I zip through 98% of it cuz most of it’s boring. Filled with people I could care less about.

Tom and I swam a lot today. It was fun. He has this plastic boat that’s broken, so it sinks. Therefore, I throw it across the pool and dive down under for it. I can open my eyes under water, but he can’t cuz of his contacts.

Still haven’t seen the van next door. I thought I heard a quick scream or two, but it kind of didn’t sound close enough to be right next door. It could’ve been anywhere, and all kids sound the same to me. They’re all one big scream in my book.

I put the pig on the little round raft and he loved it. He sat there so calmly, totally unafraid. Yes, he really does love the water.

Still no messages on Prodigy from either Tammy or Marla.

I’ll call on the 3rd to wish Becky a happy b-day. I sent a card with a $5-dollar bill. Tomorrow I’ll send out Ma’s card. Her birthday is on the 6th.

Tom called travel agencies today to get info. Only 14 more days left! Yup, in my next journal, I’ll be a married woman! Can you believe it?! I can’t fucking believe it! I never ever thought I’d see that day in my life. Maybe the next, if there is a next, but not in this one.

I think I’ll go watch the awards now.

Oh, I forgot to mention - no calls from Larry. He either gave up or tried to call when we were out but left no message. Oh well.

Later…

I just saw the awards. It was the World Music Awards. Gloria just doesn’t look as good as she did during her Let It Loose album and her Cuts Both Ways album.

I suppose I should shave my legs now, but I’m too lazy.

I saw an interesting commercial for an upcoming show on 20/20. Water births. They say it takes some of the pain and pressure off and makes it easier for the baby. Bet you gotta be rich for that. Water or no water, I can’t imagine something the size of a watermelon ripping through my crotch. Plus, I’d probably have to have a C-section anyway.

Later…

Starting another beautiful journal. This shall be the journal in which I am to be married in. Amazing!

Can’t think of anything to write about at the moment. Just that I’m going to go turn the computer off and watch TV. I expect to listen to music at some point, as well. My nails look pitiful. I better go cut those, too.

Hopefully, by tomorrow book of Letters #9 will be finished. It all depends on what I get in the mail. In the meantime, I will write later or tomorrow.

MONDAY, MAY 30, 1994 Well, it was on this day two years ago that I found out I’d be moving to Phoenix.

Today was a good one. Larry called, but I wasn’t awake enough to talk to him. I hope he catches me the next time.

Not much else happened today. We got more sawdust and some treats for Piggy, did computer work, and went swimming.

There’s no mail tomorrow cuz of Memorial Day, so hopefully Tuesday will bring me lots of mail.

They’ve been so quiet next door and they were definitely out today. Could they have gone to Idaho? I sure hope so, but I won’t count on it.

Later…

Tom got home right after I last wrote. He had quite a bit to fix on Eldon’s computer.

We just had pork chops and now I’m full.

Tomorrow’s the 102º day, so I heard, and it’s going to be a great swimming day.

Tom just said he thinks it’s best to get wedding rings after we’re married so we’ll have money for Vegas. I agree, but it would’ve been nice to have rings at the wedding. Why must love be so expensive?

Come to think of it, I think Larry’s just going to be calling, not coming to visit.

Well, there’s nothing else going on at the moment. I’m taping a movie and Tom’s eating. He’s on Prodigy now and I have my first of two loads of clothes in the dryer, which I guess he’s waiting for. I suppose I could call Prodigy to see if I have any messages from Marla or Tammy, but I doubt it. Tammy’s too busy, and Marla’s told me it may be a while.

When am I going to bed? I have no idea, but I think I’ll go listen to my music.

Tom just said he feels much better. He hadn’t eaten all day long.

Later…

Just got done swimming with Tom. It’s really hot out and the water felt so good.

He’s checking to see if the start of our sign language program works, then we’re going to have fun.

Again they’re not home next door. What luck, huh? I sure hope they split to Idaho. It’d be even nicer if they decided just how much they missed it and sold their house to a nice old couple. One with no little grandkids who hardly ever have company. No dogs, either. Hopefully, they’re cat, bird, or fish lovers instead.

Later…

The typing of #6 is going pretty fast. Within the next couple of days, I should be done with it. Then, I’ll be skipping #7 cuz I already typed it and I’ll do #8.

Swimming was lots of fun today and it was 105º today. They say it’ll be 102º tomorrow and 107º the next day. Wow! Summer’s definitely here. The pool shouldn’t be too chilly for the next handful of months. Even in the middle of the night, it will be extremely warm.

They were definitely gone all weekend as I said before. (next door) I still haven’t heard them return and I definitely think I would’ve if they were back. As the parents were unpacking, I’m sure the kids would’ve been screaming back and forth with them. I hope they’re in Idaho and seriously enjoying it.

After I let enough time go by, cuz I just took my meds, I’ll make some popcorn. Yummy!

Larry didn’t try to call back again, but Tammy said he called her. She said they only spoke for two minutes. He was in Wisconsin on his way to Colorado.

I hope I have a generous supply of mail tomorrow. Kim’s answering machine tapes, envelopes, stamps, and whatever the hell else may arrive tomorrow.

Going to go finish my coffee now.

SATURDAY, MAY 28, 1994 Tom came home early yesterday, and Andy got here shortly after. He swam a bit and we talked and he played the new Stevie single he bought on his way over here. After he left, mom and dad called and Tom and I spoke with them. It was a nice chat.

Ma says Larry’s going to be calling. Cool, but with my luck, it’ll be when Andy and I are out at yard sales.

Andy called last night with his sister Marla in California on the line. She was telling me all about her new and very impressive computer and that she’d eventually send me a message on Prodigy. Tom also talked with Marla and her husband even cuz they had lots of questions for Tom.

Andy will be calling any second to tell me he’s on his way over.

Tom’s going to go help Eldon with his computer cuz it’s trashed.

Later…

This afternoon Andy picked me up. We were out for about 3 hours. We couldn’t find any yard sales. It was kind of late for that, but we drove through some absolutely gorgeous neighborhoods.

First we went to JB’s where I ordered a pork chop dinner. It sucked so it was comped. All I got was a sundae and an iced tea.

When we couldn’t find any yard sales, we went to a pawn shop. There, I got an oldies CD and the CD Trio with Linda, Dolly and Emmylou. I have it on tape, but it’s finally nice to have it on CD. I sing a lot of the songs on that CD. At another store, I got Lush Life by Linda. Another one I only had on tape and most of those songs I enjoy singing.

Got 2 letters from Bob, 1 Bob sent Kim and 1 from Kim to me. She also surprised Andy with a letter.

When Andy and I got back here we went swimming. The pool’s the most comfortable it’s been all year so far. Andy hung out for an hour or so. I read him Bob’s letters. He also pointed out that I put the shelf up wrong that he’d given me when I was doing wall art at his place. I fixed it and I hope it holds.

Oh! Almost forgot. Got the diamond earrings my parents sent. Yes, they’re very beautiful.

No call from Larry yet. He sure won’t recognize this place. When he was last here, there were no wall drawings and that old ugly kitchen paneling was still up.

Now, I’m going to go change the batteries in my speakerphone.

Later…

Where in the world is Tom? I guess Eldon’s situation with his computer was as horrible as Tom said it was when he called him last night. Anyway, I thought he’d be back between 4:00 - 6:00, but I guess not.

Tammy says she’s back on Prodigy. She hooked it up. I’ll leave her a message maybe tomorrow. I just haven’t really felt like doing any computer work today. I’ll probably type some letters, too.

No calls from Fran. I wonder if he’s already lost his phone. If not, I’m sure it’ll be soon enough. Maybe Larry will call tomorrow, but Ma said something about Wisconsin, but that’s quite a way away.

I changed the batteries on the speakerphone. I watched some TV and there are 1 or 2 movies I’ll be taping. Tomorrow we have to get Piggy another big bail of sawdust. I mailed Becky’s birthday card out today and on the 1st I’ll mail Mom’s out. Well, I guess that’s it for now. I’ll just go veg out.

FRIDAY, MAY 27, 1994 Andy will be here any time now. Of course, he was supposed to be here two hours ago, but you know how he is. Always late.

Been back and forth from the pool all day. Getting a bit more color.

THURSDAY, MAY 26, 1994 Got a lot done today. I finished typing up #5 and then I typed all of #7. How’d I do that? Easy. It was only 20 pages or so cuz the old little #10 was recopied into #7 when I lived at the Vista Ventana. Remember? The remainder of #7 is being used for an ongoing journal chart.

I’m outside now and the weather’s gorgeous. It’s the perfect temp now. Not too cool, not too hot. It’s not very easy to write out here, though. Wish there was a table out here.

Guess Tom needs to chlorinate the pool. It’s a lovely shade of jade green.

I’m momentarily going to put the stuff I want to write about on hold.

Later…

OK, I’m going to write till Tom’s dinner is digested. Then it’s playtime for us.

Got 3 letters today from Bob and 1 from Kim. Got a total of 204 letters now and BOL #9 has 38 pages left in it now.

Andy called with Sarah on the line who’s playing Sabrina and I read her Fran’s letter. She was cracking up.

I was out bouncing my superball off the laundry room door when Tom came home. He shocked the pool.

So, their last name is M next door. A catalog came in their name. I brought it over, hoping that’d be a great opportunity to see if they’re really going to Idaho, or if they’re all talk. No one came to the door, though, cuz I doubt my knocking could be heard over all those screaming kids.

I’ve been playing another computer game Tom showed me. It’s kind of cool and lots of fun.

Later tonight I’ll begin typing #6. I thought about maybe typing up the quicker ones, though, first. What I mean by quicker ones is that there are a few with large print.

Andy and I may shoot again for going to yard sales this Saturday morning.

What am I forgetting to mention? Guess I’ve covered everything. I still can’t wait till we get new ribbons, but that’ll probably be after we’re married. There are so many pictures I want to eventually print out.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 25, 1994 Where the hell is the mail? Oh well, I guess it’s still early enough. I just stepped out to put out Bob’s letter and I saw his truck so he’s on his way. I hope he has Sabrina’s letter and letters from Bob and Kim, too. I do have more to write about, but I’m not in the mood just yet. I’ll fill you in later.

Yup, just got Sabrina’s letter which was so funny! This guy can’t spell, make any sense, and never uses any periods. Sabrina and I wrote him back and I’m sending letters to Kim and Bob. I’m going to send Fran’s letter to Kim. She’ll get a major kick out of it, then send it to Bob.

Fran left me a message for Bob’s address saying he knows people in prison where he is. I sent Bob’s address and I also sent Bob Fran’s address.

I talked with Tammy who dropped a jug of juice, stepped on it and had to get stitches in her foot. Good, God! I feel like not only did I leave the curse that was on me behind, upon coming here, but that now the curse is on them.

Today’s their anniversary, too. I sure hope their next one’s 100% better.

I called Ma and told her and she said (as we were about to hang up) “I bought you something. Yes, it’s real. You can wear it at your wedding to feel like I’m there with you, but only if you want to.”

Tom had a great idea last night. We’re going to get some dorky shirts there for the wedding.

Both Mom and Dad will be calling either Friday or Saturday night.

Well, I think I’ve remembered to write about everything I wanted to. Going to go play a computer game!

TUESDAY, MAY 24, 1994 Just got this pen at the grocery store. It’s the same kind as the blue one I’ve been writing with.

Got my meds too, and the guy came today to do the appraisal. We hope all goes well with that and fast.

I am so tired, so I’m going to make this quick. Today was a fun and productive day. Tom and I also made love.

We had T-storms today and for the first time in a while, my allergies acted up. I took an allergy pill and I’m much better now, but very tired.

I’m going to go shut the computer off and try to get some sleep. I need it.

Kim called telling me she won’t be able to mail out the tape, stamps, and envelopes till Friday. That’s OK, cuz we got some stamps and envelopes.

MONDAY, MAY 23, 1994 Got a letter from Bob. One of the happiest he’s ever written. He really likes it better where he is.

I also got 5 returns for info on home computer work which I’ll have Tom check out later on.

Today is a weird day! Last night Tom and I cuddled, but we were both too beat for sex. He reminded me to wear whatever I want, regardless of if it’d be something he’d wear or not if he were me. It’s true that he never plays daddy, otherwise I wouldn’t marry him or be here.

The phone’s ringing, but I ain’t answering it. People always call when I’m busy. Kim called and she’s sending stamps and envelopes. Cool cuz my supply is running out and I don’t want to reorder now. I want to save all my money for Vegas.

She’s also mailing me a tape of different outgoing messages for the VM. There are people like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rosanne Barr, Joan Rivers, Star Trek, Madonna, David Letterman and some others.

Andy got Sabrina’s letter and he read it to me. It’s sooo funny and he’s putting it in tomorrow’s mail (I hope).

I went for a few swims today.

Tom and I went over the business info I got. He’s going to check them out on the computer. Some sounded hopeful and some sounded shady.

Speaking of computers, boy did I get so mad and bummed! I accidentally deleted 6-7 pages I typed on and off all day today, but when Tom got home he recovered it. Andy said, “Thank God you’re marrying a genius.” How true indeed. What a heroic rescue.

Well, I’m sort of tired now and tomorrow will be a big day, so I think I’ll just go take it easy.

SUNDAY, MAY 22, 1994 Well, well. I’ve got quite a bit to write about this time around. Let me first think about all the little things to tell about before I get into bigger things.

Well, Tammy got her kitten labels. Mine oughta come at the beginning of this week.

Andy and I were going to go to some yard sales yesterday, but he got sick.

I’m starting to get some color once again and I haven’t laid out either. I won’t do that ever again cuz all I do is get chased by bees and get sun poisoning.

Yesterday, in my opinion, wasn’t a good day, but it could’ve been much much worse. I woke up today with the attitude that yesterday was done and over with. First my pillowcase came apart in the washer, as I had mentioned before. Once again the reality of being trapped on cigarettes till they kill me had me bummed. Tom watched basketball all day, then we went swimming.

At one point in the pool, Tom started to initiate sex, but after a few minutes, I began to get really chilly. I wasn’t going to mention it, but it was making me so tense and rigid that I had to. He then put on the spa and I had a smoke while I was waiting for it to warm up. When it did warm up I got in and began giving him a hand job. He didn’t seem overly aroused but aroused enough, so I thought. When we went to get out he seemed bummed and when I asked why he said it was cuz it was hard for him to restart again. I had mentioned finishing our business in bed, but he just couldn’t seem to get in the mood again.

Up till yesterday, it seemed to be that we swapped shoes in a way. Remember how I was the one who was always horny and would be begging for him to initiate sex more? Well, now it seems the other way around. Guess I go through my phases with that.

Well, things are far from bad with us and both of us are still eager to get married, but there are still a few things I don’t get. When he said how he didn’t want to be held back (sexually I mean), I didn’t get that cuz he’s held his own self back. I used to think that he couldn’t cum by me but now I think he can. If he can get so hard so many times, he can cum. There were several times he was about to cum and he just stopped, so why he’d hold back beats me. I don’t want to put him on the spot, though, and ask him. If he chooses not to cum by me, then that’s his choice.

This morning he told me he didn’t sleep too well cuz yesterday was a bad day. He said he’s not blaming me for it or trying to put a guilt trip on me, but I feel that way anyhow. I feel like he’s not going to initiate sex later as a punishment for yesterday. He always tells me to look ahead, don’t take things so seriously, so then why is it still a big deal? I can understand something very traumatic being a big deal for a while, but yesterday really wasn’t all that bad.

Lastly, when I went to put on a certain shirt I jokingly said we oughta get married with me in it and he looked mortified. I hope he knows me well enough to know I was joking. He seems to be taking some things too seriously. I resent his saying I’ve taken away all the things that turn him on about me. If I’ve turned him off so badly, wouldn’t he not want to be with me? Also, I dress with my tits hanging out which is bull. There was only this one shirt and I didn’t even know it till he mentioned it. Now I’m going to be paranoid about what I wear when we go out. My body is for him and him only, but I cannot and will not live to please others. I can’t spend my whole life worrying about what they think of me or my clothes. I just don’t feel I should need to worry about what a stranger approves or disapproves of. I just hope that Tom knows that I am for him only, regardless of whatever some stranger may be thinking when they see me in public.

Regardless of this, we both do love each other very much, have way more better days than most couples, and want very much to be married.

I called Florida today, but only my mom was there. She and Dad are both going to call back this week. She asked Tom about his life in general. Tom told him about his work, being here all his life and that we’ll be married in Vegas. Ma mentioned getting us a portable dishwasher for a wedding present. Cool. No, she never went into why we shouldn’t have kids.

Well, that’s pretty much it. We both swam today and it’s been so quiet next door, across the street, and with dogs.

Later…

Well, I’m now recording the first part of the Menendez Brothers’ murder case. It’s a 2-part movie about these 2 brothers who murdered their parents. It’s based on a real-life true story.

Tom mentioned us fooling around, but we were both really hungry so we ate. I think we’re both going to be too tired.

SATURDAY, MAY 21, 1994 Today's been a real frustrating day so far. I went to wash my pillows and one came apart. The other one's all bunched up. At least it's quiet next door. So far.

THURSDAY, MAY 19, 1994 Tammy got her address labels today. She liked them a lot and I just realized the second order of mine could be out front so I’d better go check.

Nope. It’s not, but I might get it tomorrow.

Got the package from Mom yesterday of one huge stuffed cheetah, leopard, or whatever. Tom and I aren’t sure, but it’s cute.

I went for a very quick swim in the Jacuzzi today. The pig did too. Early this morning the water temp was 76º and it was almost 80º an hour ago. I may go for another swim after I finish writing.

I got 1 letter from Kim and 2 from Bob. Bob’s artwork is really improving. Kim also sent me 3 letters she’d gotten from Bob. I typed them letters and quickly chatted with Fran. They’re about to turn his phone off. His bill’s currently $1,500. Ha, ha!

Now I think I will go, after all, and see what the pool’s like now.

Later…

I changed my mind about going swimming. I could, as it’s far from freezing, but it’s very windy. I only like it windy when it’s 100º or higher.

I’m watching Donoghue now. God, guys are so horny and so easy. I can bet you that 99% of guys hit on by a woman will jump to the opportunity right then and there. There’s nothing wrong with being a whore if your partners are willing, but guys are such major whores.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 18, 1994 Yesterday I managed to stay up till 2 PM and I got as close to midnight.

Also yesterday, Tom did yard work. I even helped saw off a tree branch.

Tom brought up a very important subject. He said, “I don’t want you to feel controlled or like I’m picking your friends, but I don’t think it’s wise to be pen pals with anyone else in prison.”

He brought up some other things to consider, too. The guy lived in Arizona for 5 years, knows the area, knows people here, and is in for involuntary manslaughter which is a common plea bargain for murder. He’s right, and that’d be all I’d need is for him to get released, come out here and stalk me. Usually, the only way to rid yourself of a stalker is to kill them. I certainly don’t feel like having to go out, learn to shoot, then kill this guy. Or anyone else.

I’ll explain all this to Bob, but I think he’s just been transferred. In the letter I got today from him he says he’d like to call collect to let me know the new address. As I was falling asleep I forgot to ask Tom if he could accept his call, if he did call. He did call, but Tom refused. Oh well. He also left me a message saying Andy, Fran and Kim called, too.

In a half-hour he should be getting up, then after he leaves I’ll dust and vacuum.

Later…

I’m so tired now. Just exhausted, but I don’t want to go to bed just yet. Let’s see… what can I write about? Well, for starters, Bob called and gave me his new address in Gardner. He says it’s so much better there than in Concord. Easier for Kim to visit here and there, too, cuz Gardner’s an hour away, whereas Concord’s a little over two hours. Any mail already on its way to Concord will be transferred to Gardner. I went to the computer and opened his address file, typed in his new address (now that I know this is his last transfer) and printed out a sheet of labels.

Speaking of labels, got my cactus labels. When I’m officially married, there’ll still be plenty of the old ones left to use as entry headers.

TUESDAY, MAY 17, 1994 I have so much to write about, but I am temporarily all written out. I’ll do a quick rundown on things.

I got all psyched up last night for nothing, but Tom said he’ll show me what I’m doing wrong with printing pictures.

I got 2 letters from Kim, 2 from Bob and 1 from David. He’s an inmate where Bob is and the letter he sent was nice. I have another pen pal possibly.

BOL #9 has 38 pages done already.

MONDAY, MAY 16, 1994 I’m printing out shots of Andy and I performing at the Pub and Frontier. I hope it comes out OK. Andy’s going to love it and I’ll send copies to my parents, Tammy, Bob and Kim too, eventually. This will be so much fun, but right now I’ve got to go see how it’s printing out. It takes forever and I’ve got sooo many scenes of sooo many different things that I want to print out.

Later…

Picture #1 came out so-so. Parts of it were either too light or too dark. People’s faces were one big white blob. You couldn’t see much detail. We need a new ribbon. Also, Tom said he’d show me how to lighten and darken things. How to change picture sizes, too.

I wonder if my package from my folks will arrive today. I hope so if she mailed it last Tuesday or Wednesday.

The journal Tom got me is so cute. It’s so sweet of him too, and he said he finally wanted to buy me a journal without me there.

I’ll have to ask for Andy’s help in mid-June or so, to take me somewhere to get something for Tom’s birthday.

Well, let me go check on how picture #2 is making progress.

Later…

Picture #2 came out lousy, but we’ll see how #3 comes out. I definitely have lots of questions for Tom. I’m going to try to print a Gloria picture as I’m curious to see how that comes out. I’ll try more of Norah, too.

Later…

Yay! I’m so psyched. I showed Tom how shitty the pictures came out and he said it was cuz I was starting with the picture too small on the screen. He also said he’d show me how to fix it sometime. Well, guess what? I figured out how to fix it for myself. So, this is what I’ll be doing for a while, then maybe I will go for a swim.

SUNDAY, MAY 15, 1994 Got a letter from Bob and got a letter from Kim today.

I’m certainly going to have a lot of movies taped. Six of them, and in 40 minutes or so, I’m going to watch another. One is about ice skaters trying for gold and falling in love while they're at it.

I got up at 6 PM and could’ve easily gone to Tom’s parents' house tomorrow morning. Guess why I’m not, though? Cuz Tom says there’ll be some cousins, “ants” and uncles who are jerks. Don’t I know all too well about that one?

It was 101º today. I went out back a couple of times in the early evening and guess who I could hear? It pisses me off and it’s also very depressing. Except for dogs, it used to be so quiet and peaceful back there. I still hang onto the hope that as the temperature gets hotter and hotter, they’ll shut their fucking door. Better yet, leave. It’s better than having them right outside my bedroom, though, and during the winter they oughta have their doors shut. I never could really hear them in the back till recently.

Well, it’s nice to know the music’s quiet across the street, their dog’s quiet next door and the dog across the street has been long gone.

Also, not one spider since we bombed. That’s just great cuz by now I’d have found about 20 more.

The more I think about it I realize that it doesn’t matter if they leave next door cuz if they do, God will send someone else to irk me.

Later…

I know I’ve bitched and bitched, but I guess I just always have something to whine about with life’s many ups and downs and changes. However, next door, for example, really hits me hard cuz of the NHA. Also, the VV and CC, but especially the NHA.

I’m bummed now cuz I want to go swimming today. Well, I might want to. We’ll have to see how tired I am. The point is that I live in a house that will sound like an apartment complex out back.

Again I ask God why He insists on doing this to me. What does He want from me? No matter when I may think about having a kid, I know it is not meant to be. There are more reasons for it not to be meant to be, than for it to be meant to be, so why does He insist on exposing me to kids’ noise so much? I don’t care that it’s a fraction of the NHA’s noise, either. I want to know what the point is. What did I ever do to any child for Him to use them against me? Is it cuz I pissed off adults when I was a child? Every child does, so why me? There are enough people in this world, you know, who don’t have to put up with having their own backyards screamed out. Especially in a house.

It would ease my mind right now if I knew for sure they were going to Idaho or would shut their fucking doors.

Tom’s up now, so I’ll continue this later. He’s up early. I thought he’d sleep in today.

Later…

Last night I went through a catalog for work at home. Sending mailing lists, stuffing envelopes, etc.

I slept from 10 AM to 7:30 PM and feel so much better. Today’s the last day of my antibiotics.

Tomorrow oughta be a great day. It’ll be Monday, and too hot for them to have their doors open.

Tom said he was glad I didn’t go to his parent’s house today. He said there were 4 kids and 20 adults. All in a house half the size of ours.

He surprised me today with a teddy bear journal (#74) that was only $2.49.

SATURDAY, MAY 14, 1994 I am so fucking pissed! There’s nothing like having everything break down on you at once. God just insists for whatever reason that I don’t do any computer work right now. The printer’s fucked up, so I can’t print out Bob’s and Fran’s letters. The VCR keeps flashing that the timer’s on and I can’t turn it off! I swear I’m on the verge of handwriting all my letters again! And fuck working with the video blaster!

The good news that I amazingly have is that I got one letter each from Bob and Kim today and BOL #8 is done.

Kim sent Tom a check for $15. That was nice of her. I thought she said she was sending $10.

Fran called and we talked for two hours. We got Andy on the line at one point and he had Fran call his friend Mary who’s also in Springfield. We called Nervous and Crystal a few times and they only spoke briefly and hung up. I couldn’t get Crystal to go off like I wanted her to. Nervous was drunker than hell. Lastly, we ordered them a pizza, but who knows if they’ll get it? You can’t get into their front door with no key.

Tomorrow we’re going grocery shopping. I mean today (early this morning).

I’ll probably be too tired to swim today, but who cares when I’m sure all they’re going to do is scream all day next door.

Don’t they ever go anywhere? I swear these people are home more than I am. When did they move in? November or December? Maybe even October? I’d have to look it up, but my point is that they’ve spent a total of no more than 4 days out. Tom says that if they really do go to Idaho, it’s tradition to go on Memorial weekend. So many people talk but never do, so I’ll keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. And also hope that if they do split, God won’t stick me with someone else’s noise. It didn’t sound like anyone would be renting cuz the guy’s going to stay there the bulk of the time and fly up on weekends. That’s what she said.

Later…

I just did some typing on #4, the only thing I can do tonight on the computer that works.

My waterbed sheets have been staying on a hell of a lot better since I cut the corners at the headboard, making straps. It’s a very hard thing to describe in writing, but it works.

I also did some exercises.

I hope Andy didn’t get killed or something when he went for his walk after Fran and I talked to him. He said he’d call back, but I’m sure he fell asleep. I still have a keen enough 6th sense and I’d have a lousy feeling in my gut if there was anything wrong.

I’ve got 8 hours’ worth of movies taped. This will be good for those days when I don’t feel like doing anything at all. That’s usually only 1-2 times a month, but it’s good for those kinds of days.

In about 4 hours we’ll be going grocery shopping.

FRIDAY, MAY 13, 1994 Got up at 2:30 PM yesterday. Got 6 hours of sleep, but I’m not tired. Woke up with my period, too.

I went swimming at 6 PM. It was nice and within the next week, the temperature will be climbing. Tomorrow will be 93º, and for Saturday, 97º. Sunday & Monday, 100º. Who knows if I’ll be lucky enough to have a peaceful swim this weekend? I’ll probably get screamed out by the lovely animals next door. Will they really ever go to Idaho? Who knows, but I’m definitely going to Vegas from June 14-17. We’ll be married on the 15th. Can’t wait!

Fran called earlier all upset about that girl Annette. Tom thought it was really neat how I calmed him down and got his mind off of it.

Yesterday Tammy brought Bill home from the hospital, so that’s cool.

I wrote letters to Bob and Kim. Got 2 letters today from Bob and I should hear from Kim tomorrow. I’m sending out my letter to the Phoenix Day School for the Deaf, so we’ll see where that goes.

I exercised and will continue to regardless of where my weight goes.

Wanna go for a swim right now, but I’m sure it’s too chilly now.

Well, now I’m going to go start typing up more of #4.

I sure did lots of typing on #4 tonight. I typed 10 pages, which only took 5 on the computer. I made some spaghetti, and wonder if BOL #8 will be finished tomorrow?

I gotta take a break and lay down for a while, so I’ll see ya.

Later…

I forgot to mention that yesterday I got a call from Dr. Wilcox’s office. My white blood cell count has improved. In 3 weeks I gotta get blood drawn again, though.

I did even more typing on #4. I typed a total of 8 pages through the night. There are 53 lines per page. I think that’s 505 lines altogether. That’s a lot. Most of the shit I’m typing is either way off the wall or shit I really don’t care to remember.

Spoke to Tam and gave her our wedding date. She said she wished she could be there. Me too, but what can anyone do?

Tom just turned the shower off and will soon be off to work. Poor guy. He’s running late, too.

Well, gotta go set the VCR.

THURSDAY, MAY 12, 1994 They say when one falls in love (or thinks they are), they’re compensated with weight gain. Well, they were right as I continue to get bigger. The sooner I stop worrying about it and trying to change it, the better I’ll feel. So, let the fat come! This also happened with Brenda and Kacey. Yeah, well, no chance of me leaving Tom, so God can pile all the pounds on me he wants.

I finished watching the movie I taped.

I was typing letters earlier to my parents and to Tammy and I figured out how to insert symbols and special characters.

I had another idea about my weight. Why don’t I try to get fat? Cuz, you know that the harder you try for something, the less likely you are to get it. That rule didn’t apply to me with women, though. Even when I wasn’t looking I never got approached by anything spectacular.

Tomorrow I will have my period. That’ll only make my tummy a little flatter for 24-48 hours or so, so I’ll just go with the flow, do whatever my body’s going to do and not try to resist it. By August I’ll probably be 106-110 on our scale here. I’ll keep a regular log of it. Earlier the scale said 102 and my waist was a sickening 27”. The last time I had a 27” waist, I weighed 110-115. Someday I could weigh 100 and have a 29” waist. It feels like I get way more inches for the pounds. Tom keeps insisting I’m skinny and that’s fine and that’s his opinion, but what’s really important is how I feel. That’s what really counts and I no longer can as easily look in the mirror. That is unless I’m not nude.

Yesterday I fell asleep at 8 AM and got up at 2:30 PM. I’m surprised I didn’t sleep till 4:00 or 5:00 and that I wasn’t tired all day. Especially with the rain too, cuz that usually makes me tired.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 11, 1994 Now I finally have time to update. Yesterday me and Tom broke a record. He went down on me and I came twice. No one else has ever been able to make me cum twice.

I spoke to Ma a couple of days ago and she tried to call us too on Mother’s Day, but we both missed each other’s calls. Oh well. Better luck next time.

Got a Bob letter two days in a row and Kim called yesterday, too. She had me play a joke on Phil, her very much ex. He placed a personal ad on a 900-voicemail system and I called with a bogus Northampton number and name, saying I was very interested in meeting him. She’s going to reimburse us and wrote a check to Tom for $10.

She’d also like to visit again in the summer or fall and maybe go to Vegas. Tom said he’d like to go, too. That’s cool. I thought he’d want to avoid Kim.

She’s got letters on their way to me, too.

So, it didn’t take long for the blood work, then we went to get cash, then to KFC, then to Jack-n-the-Box, then home. We were gone for about two hours.

Upon getting home, we opened the place up and turned the EC on. No more spiders!

When Tom woke me up yesterday, damn was he horny! Unfortunately, I was too tired to respond.

I printed address labels for the people I write to a lot except for Bob since he may be moved out to Gardner.

Speaking of address labels, a Veteran company sent me about 90 of them on a sheet. Right before I get married, huh? That’s OK, though, cuz I’ll use them for Fran, as well as entry separators. They weren’t overly impressive. Just so-so. They had 4 different things preceding the address. Eagles, flags, rainbows and fireworks. I put the labels in the front cover of my journal.

I’m mailing Nerv tons of computer catalogs. Yup, Tom gave me lots of NPN cards for catalogs I know he didn’t get yet. I printed out 2 sheets, each of 14, so that totals 28 labels of Nerv’s name and address, so I only had to write 4 by hand. So, he should get 32 catalogs, all from different states.

Later…

Tom’s home from work now, eating dinner and getting the basketball scores on the TV in the back room.

In the living room, I’m recording Friday the 13th. They’re having about 5 episodes from Wednesday-Friday.

Within an hour or so, he’ll be going to bed, seeing how he’s been up since 5 AM. After he’s in bed, I’ll probably do some typing. Last night I used all those free labels I got, plus some of the ones I already had.

Later…

I was about to expand on my labels, but Tom and I got to talking, then he crashed.

I had several journals, especially the earlier ones, with calendars, and other little things here and there, taped in the front and back covers. I had written stupid stuff like numbers on the back and front covers, making it look confusing and unorganized. That’s the original purpose of covering them with pictures of flowers from calendars and whatever the hell else. I took off the pictures I had taped on and re-covered the confusing mess back up with address labels.

TUESDAY, MAY 10, 1994 I have several things to write about, but then again, maybe I should wait till tomorrow.

Tomorrow we’re bombing this place, thank fucking God. I’m sick of finding at least 3 spiders a day.

I’m getting blood drawn again tomorrow to see if my white blood cell count is normal again. Of course, we’re taking the pig with us. Getting blood drawn won’t take 2-3 hours, so what else we’ll do and where else we’ll go, who knows? I’ll save the rest of my news for either later or tomorrow.

Later…

I am at the doctor’s now waiting to be stuck. She said it won’t be too long, but we’ll see.

Before we left we set off the bombs. Piggy’s in the car with Tom.

SUNDAY, MAY 8, 1994 I hope Tom hurries up and gets home. Last night we agreed we’d call my parents. For two reasons. One’s cuz it’s Mother’s Day and the other’s so they can talk with Tom. I have a feeling he may have an excuse not to call. Does he really want to talk to them or even meet them? I wonder about this, but we’ll see what he says when he gets in.

Next Sunday I’ll be meeting his parents, but now I wonder if I’ll be able to be up at a decent hour. I didn’t get up till 2:30 today.

I talked to Tammy who says Bill’s doing better. She’s got a cold, though, or something. She said Larry called her. They only spoke for two minutes. He was in Missouri.

They made it sound like it was going to be very chilly today. Well, it’s not hot, but it’s not chilly either.

The pool doesn’t feel too bad, but it is very windy out. They say we may have T-storms tonight or tomorrow.

I’m very hungry now, so I think I’ll go cook some chicken wings.

Later…

I just threw in a few chicken wings and did the dishes.

I think I just heard Tom. If he isn’t back in an hour then, I’m not going to call my mom. If we don’t call my mom I’ll keep my mouth shut for a few days and see if he mentions it. If he doesn’t, I’ll remind him that he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to and he can tell me so up front.

Later…

Tom got home about 20 minutes ago and we did try calling my parents, but there was no answer.

I ate and now he’s eating.

I also talked to Andy for a few minutes. Between both of us, we’ve got lots of mail to go out tomorrow. He’s got his bills, book club and whatever computer stuff. I’ve got letters to Fran, Bob, Kim, Tammy, Bill, my nieces and my parents.

God, my face has been so greasy. Guess that’s better than it being all dry and flaky, though.

I just printed out 3 pictures from tapes but they’re too light. Time for a new color ribbon. That video thing’s so fun. When we get a new ribbon, I’m going to do some of Gloria. I’m going to do different stuff for Tom, and I have a real surprise for him and Andy both. I’m going to take the video of me and Andy performing at the pub and the Frontier and print some of those out.

Later…

That guy Eldon gave Tom an old VCR for working for him today. He just sprayed electrical spray on it, so I’m in my room now till the smell goes away. Later on tonight, I may use whichever VCR to print out some pictures.

He’s on the phone now talking to David.

I have been running a mile a minute here and now I gotta slow down.

Tom was really tired so we didn’t have any fun tonight. That’s alright though as amazingly enough, I’m not all that horny for being 3 days away from my period.

SATURDAY, MAY 7, 1994 I am sitting at the kitchen table now where it’s easier for me to write.

I just copied a drawing Bob sent of a horse. It was from the neck up. Mine was good, but most of his I liked better.

I’m getting sort of drowsy now and I also have to go take another antibiotic now. I’m going to veg out to music and lay down, so I’ll write another time.

Later…

Yup, I’m still up.

I killed 3 spiders and typed a letter to Boo and Max. Why? Oh just for the hell of it and to give them a life update since they last helped me out. Hopefully, they’re still in Longmeadow and will get the letter. I believe they only go to Florida during the winter.

I forgot to mention the lovely and unexpected surprise I got from Tom shortly after I got up yesterday morning. He went down on me on the couch, then later we played on the waterbed. This time wasn’t a clumsy disaster as he made it in there. I swear this guy’s getting closer and closer to cumming, but if he ever will, who knows?

He’s going shopping this morning for some stuff we need around here. We need silverware, margarine, water, and of course, food items, too. He’ll be up in 1-3 hours.

Gotta call Prodigy. I’m sure I have all kinds of junk mail to delete. Gotta shave, gotta polish my nails and whatever else I can think of.

Yesterday I gave my hair another mayonnaise treatment. It really does work well at getting the dryness out. Makes it softer. I topped it off with Infusium.

Later…

Today I got Andy’s 14-page letter. It’s pretty cool and funny. I also got a letter from Bob. I’m going to go type them up and use the disk labels to stick them in BOL #8.

Got myself an unexpected surprise today. I went swimming today and the water’s a little warmer. No noise next door.

Tom did some yard work and it really looks nice out there. He trimmed with the edger after he mowed and swept the grass away since tomorrow they say it’ll be not only windy but very much cooler.

He also brought out this little round raft which is perfect for my size. It’s actually intended for something other than a raft. It’s got 8 small spots for glasses around it and in the center, another bigger sunken spot for a thing of ice. The pig will love traveling around in that.

I typed up Bob’s 7-page letter and Andy’s 14-page letter. It’s printing out now.

Later…

I just jumped up to take my antibiotic. Don’t wanna be too late on it.

Amazingly enough, I got up at 12:30 today. Even after yesterday’s long nap.

Well, gotta go check the printer now. Later I’ll be back to write more.

Later…

I taped in my letters.

Tom’s cooking pork chops now while we’re watching the movie Police Academy.

Later…

OK, I’m back. Tom just went to bed. Dinner was good.

I cut another big baggy of lettuce for the pig.

Tomorrow Tom’s going to work on this guy Eldon’s (a friend of his) computer.

Tomorrow’s Mother’s Day and we’re both going to call my mom tomorrow night.

Next Sunday I’ll be meeting his parents (finally).

Tom went grocery shopping this morning and he picked up the vitamin E Dr. Wilcox recommended. Yup, it does help these tits of mine. Now I gotta get the water pills. Tom’s been having a hard time finding them. I think our best bet would be to go to a drugstore for them.

Hang on while I go potty.

Later…

I got an idea last night for the waterbed. I was thinking of taking the foam pad off the twin bed and sticking it on the side I sleep on. This will make the sheets cling to it better. You know how waterbed sheets are always slipping off.

After I try that, I will go look in the TV guide and see if there are any good movies on tonight or not. If not, I’ll type letters. I’ll do that anyway as I usually tape whatever I watch to zip through the commercials. That is unless I’m watching HBO or Cinemax.

I need to call Andy too, to let him know his letter arrived today.

Later…

I just typed letters to Fran, Bob and Kim. In a few minutes, I’m going to watch a movie.

I love my piggy, but sometimes I think it’d be nice to have a small poodle. Something you can run around with. Also, they have no dander, don’t shed, and don’t need to be declawed. No litter box, either.

Well, till later.

Later…

I know I’ve said this before, but I have to do something about my weight. I recognize the old, yet familiar pattern. It’s been 101-103 too much lately. I’ll keep gaining 2-3 pounds a month if I don’t stop it now. I must lose 2-3 inches all around. If my parents are coming within the next few months, I’d like for them to see I’m still thin. It’ll be fine with them and they’ll love me just the same if I’m chunky, but I prefer to be thin, regardless of what others want for me.

Late at night, they play all these commercials of sexy girls to call. That’s my idea of pictures for Tom. I’ll surprise him, but right now the VCR is in use, taping a movie.

FRIDAY, MAY 6, 1994 I’m watching that movie now. It’s good so far.

I saw a commercial for an exercise machine I’d really like to have. Now here goes all those girlie talk-line commercials.

God am I feeling like a blimp! It seems my gut goes in and out, in and out. I still have to get those water pills.

Boy, this movie’s good. Most movies are so predictable. This one keeps twisting and turning with lots of surprises. After the movie, I’ll set up the timer to record Andy’s soaps.

My tits are sore but I’m only 6 days away from relief and I’ll be getting that vitamin E the Doc recommended.

Later…

God, are my lungs tight. It could be worse, though.

I left a note to Tom with the idea I’m about to write. Remember how when I first got here I wrote a letter to the Phoenix Day School for the Deaf requesting a deaf friend to sign with? This was when I lived next to the VV butch before she pulled her shit on me. I met one woman who was prejudiced against the fact that I was on disability. Well, now I think I’d like to try again and send in another letter.

Andy’s on his way over, so, be prepared for me to possibly be cut off.

Guess who’s playing? Yup, across the street, but at an acceptable volume. I can ever so barely hear it.

They’ve been great next door too, but during the next two days, we’ll see. I won’t mind cuz I’m not going swimming tomorrow. I also may very well be asleep.

I began my antibiotics today. Last night I slept 4 hours, waking up at 8 AM. No noise woke me up. I fell back asleep, though, from about noon to 5:00. I needed it, and the antibiotics have a way of making you drowsy.

Andy rented a TV today and is coming to get the soaps I recorded for him.

He’s also bringing 4-5 Mexican TV dinners. I probably won’t like them, but Tom will. He got them from a guy who drives a delivery truck with TV dinners.

Got a letter from Bob today. That makes my current total 175. BOL #8 is just past halfway.

I may also have another pen pal from where Bob is. I told Bob that as long as the guy’s no sex offender, it’s OK. I can deal with robbery or drug offenses, cuz you know I believe sex offenders can’t be rehabilitated and should be tortured and executed. Also, I’ll accept no sexual talk. I’m just not into that anymore. Those I’ll mark ‘return to sender.’

Tom thought it was a great idea for me to write to the Phoenix Day School for the Deaf for a deaf friend to sign with.

I put my note I left him in a no-postage-necessary envelope. I sent Kim Bob’s letter and Bob a letter, too. Soon I’ll type my parents and maybe Fran, too.

Later…

Andy came and got his tape. He also brought about 6 Mexican TV dinners, which I hate, but Tom will like. He also brought some pies, but they were crushed.

Yuck! There was a spider crawling on the headboard of this bed. Thank God we’re going to bomb real soon.

I finished typing up #3 last night and began #4. Typed letters to Bob, Kim and my parents tonight.

Fran called and Ricky was with him. He says Sabrina’s letter is ready, but he’s having trouble finding someone to take a picture of him. Guess he’s still trying, though. He wants more and more to come out here and said it’s cold there now and they almost had a hurricane.

Ricky called Nervous and I was surprised he didn’t instantly recognize his voice and hang up. Ricky pulled some ticket scam on him and for a few minutes, he was dumbly going along. Then Crystal grabbed the phone and she was just getting heated up, but Ricky hung up cuz he thought I hung up.

THURSDAY, MAY 5, 1994 Yesterday was quite a busy day. I got up at 12:30 PM and went for a swim. I also recorded my song and typed up ideas for the signing program.

At 6:30 Andy came and brought me to his place. I drew an Indian design to give it that real southwestern look. I also did his lampshade like I did mine.

He fed me well while I was there. He gave me cookies, crackers, a hot dog, and made me my coffee.

He also gave me tons of video labels, but I have yet to figure out what I’ll do with them.

Tom was in bed when I got home at 9:30. We left each other messages, though.

I talked to Tammy and Bill’s latest report isn’t good. He’s vomiting and has a fever.

My doctor called in antibiotics. I’ve been quite congested and yesterday they called to tell me my white blood cell count was too high. Next Tuesday I still gotta go back for a re-check. When I awoke today at 11:30, I was coughing up gallons of shit.

Went for another swim today. The water’s still chilly, but I managed to throw myself in.

What will the mailman bring me today? Another batch of Bob letters?

Later…

Yup, the mailman brought me 2 Bob letters which he stuck in one envelope.

Now for my cutest and funniest news of the day. I brought the pig out to the Jacuzzi and slowly lowered him down. I could tell right away that swimming would be one of his bags, cuz he remained totally relaxed. He swam around and around several times for a good 60 seconds or so and he loved it. Totally had a ball.

Andy’s TV’s dead and tomorrow I have to record 2 soaps for him. He says he’s getting a new TV tomorrow, but we’ll see. I have a feeling I may be doing this for him for a while. Guess he’s going to try getting a loan from his parents.

I also numbered all the journals on the top shelf of my bookcase. So, that’s 1-25. I’ll do more another time. I’ve got 2½ out of my 5 shelves filled up with journals. 1-25 on the first shelf. 26-54 on the second. 55-73 on the third.

I typed a letter to my folks today and I’ll do more typing later. Right now I’m a little bored. What else can I write about? I’m just trying to think. Have I forgotten anything? I said that yesterday and today I went for a swim, right?

Next door was quiet, thankfully, but I’m sure they’ll be ruling the weekend. That seems to be their thing lately till it gets over 100º. I say let them have this weekend cuz at 80º, the pool won’t be as nice and they say there’s a slight chance for rain Saturday - Monday.

Later…

Well, Tom will be delightfully pleased when he comes home which will be any second, cuz I have a spag dinner waiting for him.

I think I hear him now.

Later…

Guess Andy’s gone to bed. I just tried calling, but there’s no answer.

Guess what? I am now beginning the typing of #4. Amazing, huh? This is the furthest I’ve ever gone with typing them. It’s so much easier not to print them out. Also, it’s much easier using all caps and no fancy fonts.

Tom loved his spag dinner and we talked a lot to catch up since we didn’t see each other yesterday.

Will the pool be suitable for swimming tomorrow? I don’t know. We’ll just have to wait and see. Today was 97º and they say tomorrow it’ll be 94º, but hopefully that difference of a few degrees won’t matter. I’m not doing any swimming over the weekend. They say it’ll only be in the lower 80s, may rain, and they’ll be out back screaming next door.

No heavy metal concerts. They’ve been great. If they have been doing any playing, they’ve kept it quiet.

Tom’s going to pick up my antibiotics tomorrow. This will really help. He said he may drop them off at lunchtime if he can get the time.

Later…

I just went to the bathroom and got my regular meds.

In a half-hour, I’m going to watch a movie with Melissa Gilbert in it.

I saw something quite interesting on a news documentary show. Stalkers on Prodigy. But how the hell do they get people’s addresses unless they gave them to them? That must be it cuz there’s no way you can get this address from either Tom’s or my membership. I think it had to do with something like a bulletin. Where people are either pen pals or looking for dates.

Anyway, they just couldn’t get this one guy to stop. I am very against the sexual and threatening stuff he sent, but it seems like a fun way to send wacky stuff without getting caught. Then again, when Tammy sends me messages, a thing comes up giving me her name and her code. So, how in the hell are they sending mail without it being able to show where and who’s sending it? I’ll have to ask Tom tomorrow.

Andy said he finished that very long letter for me and Bob. Like 14 pages or so. When will he mail it here? Who knows? Fran’s full of shit, though, when he says he’s going to write to me and Sabrina. That’s OK, I get my fair share of letters from Bob.

Let’s see…what else is going on? Not much else. Can’t wait to watch the pig go swimming again. It’s so cute and so funny. I’ll wait, though, for when I’m in the pool with him. This will give us better peace of mind. Also, he shakes water all over me, so I may as well have a suit on, rather than regular clothes.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 1994 We fixed our sluggish toilet. No more having to flush number twos twice.

Last night I printed out tons of Norah pictures. Yes, I can do it all on my own now and it was so much fun. Going to do more of Gloria and others for Tom.

Sabrina and I still haven’t heard from Fran. Maybe a letter is on its way in the mail, but I doubt it very much.

We’re going to try to make and sell a computer program with me signing. First we’ll begin with those not serious about signing. Those who are usually going to school, but further on down the road, we may do an advanced one. We’ll start with simple everyday signs like in a foreign traveler’s guide for certain situations. Like if you have a deaf visitor or work in an office with deaf people.

I typed up a handful of letters. To Fran, Bob, Kim, Tammy and my parents.

Got lots of things to do. I want to clean the bathroom after the blue toilet water made quite a mess while Tom fixed it.

Gotta type up my signing ideas. Simple phrases and questions. He’s going to use the video blaster and the camera that’s on a tripod.

Gotta somehow turn that big Stevie dress from Andy into a skirt. Gotta record My Time Has Come. Gotta keep typing #3.

This is the last month of SS and SSI checks.

I was just thinking of all the shocking, unexpected, yet great things that have happened since I came here nearly two years ago between the dancing, getting a 2-bedroom apartment, meeting Tom, moving into a house, seeing Kim and Larry, learning computers, getting off SS and SSI and only having a few asthma attacks. I wish I could add quitting smoking to the list, but I just can’t.

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 1994 In just a little while, I have to go see Dr. Wilcox. When I get there and have to wait 20 years I’ll write more.

Later…

I’m in one of the exam rooms waiting to be seen. It’ll be a while, I’m sure. God, I hate waiting!

Yesterday was lots of fun. Andy picked me up at 12:30 and I was there till 6 PM. Before that, I got 3 letters from Bob and 1 from Kim.

I also spoke to Tammy. They removed Bill’s spleen which was loaded with cancer. Luckily his liver’s OK and they hope he can resume light duties at work within 6 weeks if the chemo works. If not, they may have to do a bone marrow transplant.

When Andy picked me up he went to pay his cable bill. That took forever.

Oh, before I forget. I spoke to Mom yesterday. She’s sending a package, but she wouldn’t say what of. I should get it at the end of next week.

After the cable company, we went to the Abco grocery store where he got a 6-pack of Snickers bars and some milk.

I took my suit hoping that maybe his

Later…

I got cut off in mid-sentence cuz Dr. Wilcox came in. Luckily it didn’t drag on as long as I thought it might.

She thought my journal book was so beautiful and was astounded when I told her how many I had. She asked me how I got into it and I told her. I noticed she had the same pen I’m writing with now, but hers was black. She asked to try this pen, she did, liked it and I offered to swap, but we didn’t. I intend to get more of these pens for sure.

Anyway, my boobs are very sore. She recommended vitamin E. She also said my lungs were a little tight, but not that bad. Yup, they certainly could be worse. They took blood for my Theo level anyway and they’ll call only if there’s a problem.

So anyway, about yesterday. I took my suit over to Andy’s hoping the heat would still be on since there’s a huge Olympic-size pool there, but it was too cold.

Andy did his laundry and cleaned while I drew cactus and a pot of flowers. He was very happy with it.

He gave me some things, too. The picture Tom took of us with my cactus I drew in the living room here behind us. Also, some other pictures of him, a nice wall shelf and an old Stevie dress. A nice pair of sunglasses, too. This pair doesn’t bother my ear and when I blink, my eyelashes don’t hit the lens. I’m going to adjust the Stevie dress and make a nice skirt out of it for myself. The wall shelf’s up in my room. It has 3 spokes on it and I’ve got necklaces and hair stuff hanging off it.

I lent him my Bonnie Raitt CD again, gave him the tapes I dubbed, and also his tape with his messages from his voicemail. The tape’s not done yet. He just wants to hear what he has on it so far.

More later.

MONDAY, MAY 2, 1994 Earlier Tom showed me how to hook the VCR up to the computer and print out pictures. I was doing fine till he went to bed, but now I can’t get the damn thing to print.

So much for his wearing me out today like he said he would cuz he felt really lousy, but I truly understand. I couldn’t be horny if I had a cold.

I talked to Andy and I may very well go to his place tomorrow to do wall art.

I’ll be going to bed soon, and on my way there, I not only wish I were deaf, I still wonder what’s God’s motive, or whoever my maker is, behind throwing these kids next door at me? Of all the houses on the block, too. It just had to be me. Is he trying to tell me I’m to have a kid? Or just annoy me? I think if I were meant to have a kid, I’d be pregnant by now and not a DES daughter. As far as to annoy me; I haven’t been doing anything to really annoy, upset, or piss off anyone else for quite a while now, so I don’t know about that. What is the reason? There’s got to be a reason. These things just don’t constantly happen wherever one goes. This is no coincidence.

Why? Why? Why? Why?

SUNDAY, MAY 1, 1994 Just had a chat with Andy and I’m about to hit the sack.

I have a total of 167 letters so far.

Today I’m not in the best of moods. I blew my schedule. I couldn’t wake up till 11 PM.

Also, the little animals are screaming their heads off in the backyard next door so I sure as hell won’t get any peace in my backyard. It sounds like the pool at the apartment complex.

What’s God trying to tell me? Why, why, why?! Almost everyone else here’s quiet on this street. Why me? Will they all really go to Idaho for the summer? Will they stay inside when it’s very hot? Why me? God, what are you trying to tell me?

I just got the two stickers in the front cover of my journal from my box of Lucky Charms.

I’m very hungry now, so I think I’ll get a bite to eat and then do some typing.

Later…

I wish Tom was working nights just for tonight so I could go throw a bottle onto their roof next door. Oh, I wanna do something sooo bad.

I wish I was deaf. I really really do. Yes, I’d miss my music, but I’ve heard long enough to hear plenty of songs in my head and to keep singing. I really really wish I were deaf. This one ear of mine has heard too many sounds it didn’t want to hear.

I don’t know how long they were out there, but I can imagine it was a good 4-6 hours. People have no respect for those around them. People have no control over their own kids. I’m sure they won’t go away for the summer. God just wouldn’t bless me with that. If He did, there’d be some other problem till we live in a house someday far enough away from others.

I just want to be deaf so bad. It’s all I think about lately. It’s always on my mind. I want to be deaf. I want to be deaf. I want to be deaf. I want to be deaf. I want to be deaf.

[netmomplus]

Touhou Ship Week 2023 Day 5: Performance

Lunasa Prismriver had a secret that she was rather ashamed of. The only people who knew about it were her younger sisters, and even then the two agreed to never really bring it up. It was something that tainted her self-image as a performer to such a degree that it was partly responsible for her own reserved nature to begin with.

Okay, perhaps this was a little dramatic. But the fact that no matter what she tried, she couldn’t figure out how to play any other instrument besides a violin was still really embarrassing. She could only imagine what her capabilities could be if she just knew how to play literally anything else.

Fortunately, she had someone who could help her: Raiko Horikawa. Initially just a collaborator with her band, the tsukumogami was a warm enough presence that Lunasa found herself naturally drawn to her, even to the point of romance. It was a blessing that Raiko was willing to help her learn how to play at least one different instrument. What may not have been a blessing, however, was the berth of options she presented to her when she made it to the sisters’ manor.

“Raiko?” Lunasa found herself staring at a massive pile of instruments sitting in her front yard. “How many instruments did you bring?”

“Enough,” Raiko responded with a sting on her drumset, before stepping away from it. “But for a more serious answer, about… thirteen.”

“T-Thirteen? How do you expect me to get through them all?”

“I don’t. Just pick out whichever ones interest you and I’ll handle the rest. We’ve got woodwinds, we’ve got strings, we’ve got percussion, I tried my best to stick to mostly Western-style instruments, I know that’s the sort of stuff you’re more comfortable with.”

“...thanks, I think? I guess we can bring these inside when we’re done…”

Lunasa walked over to the pile of instruments, all laid out on a tarp. There was indeed quite the variety to work with, each of the thirteen was rather distinct from each other. Figuring she’d start with a random one, she picked up a clarinet and looked it over.

“It’s black. I like the color.”

“Most clarinets are,” Raiko responded with a chuckle. “That’s a classic right there, goes great in any orchestra, like your violin. And it goes great with your outfit. Want to give it a try?”

“Sure.”

Raiko nodded and slipped out some sheet music from behind her back, readily handing it off to Lunasa. The poltergeist nabbed it and read it quickly; being a trained musician, she had next to no problem learning how to read sheet music on its face. Taking a deep breath, Lunasa recalled how she saw someone hold one of these once and mimicked it okay enough. The moment of truth would come when she began to actually play it, and…

It was a mess. She only got through five seconds of a song before she had to stop herself, she was hitting the notes but it all came out wrong. There was something about this instrument that she just wasn’t vibing with and she did not get why at all. Sighing, she placed the clarinet back down.

“No, no…”

“What, you gave up on it already?”

“It felt wrong, didn’t feel good to play. I didn’t… I didn’t connect with it at all.”

“Huh. That’s… concerning. I guess it happens though, I don’t even really like playing note-based percussion, for example… ah, here, why don’t you try this?”

Raiko strolled over and hoisted up what looked to be a snare drum, just a really simple drum that anyone could probably play.

“Here, come on over and try this. Nah, don’t worry, I won’t count this as cheating on me, aha.”

Damn Raiko and her jokes. Lunasa obliged and made her way over to the snare, which was already in the process of being held up by a stand. Looking up, she saw Raiko conjure up the sticks to her drumset, then pick up another set of sticks off the ground and hand them to Lunasa. Looks like they’re going to do a collab, the poldergeist thought to herself.

“Alright, I just need you to repeat after me.” Raiko prepped her sticks and implored Lunasa to do the same; her partner promptly obliged. “I’ll do a rhythm, and you just need to follow along, okay?”

“I can do that.”

Nodding, Raiko began a simple rhythm, and Lunasa repeated verbatim. Unlike the tsukumogami who was playing with fluidity and gusto, Lunasa’s movements were rather rigid, terse and overly careful. It was as if she were somehow afraid of getting anything wrong, and it was to the point where it was negatively impacting her mood during the performance. Noticing this, Raiko stopped and patted Lunasa on the shoulder.

“Everything alright?”

“...honestly, Raiko, I don’t think the drums are for me… I-I mean the instrument, not the, uh… the you. You’re wonderful.”

“I know what you meant,” Raiko said with a laugh. “I think I have one more ace up my sleeve that should be able to help.”

“And that is?”

“Maybe the trick we need to get you to learn some extra instruments is just to get you to play an instrument that’s really similar to the one you’re already good at. Branch out a little before you go all out. In fact, I have a few here that I should be able to recommend handily.”

Walking over to another corner of the mat, Raiko knelt down near a trio of instruments. One was only slightly bigger than her usual violin, while the other two were considerably larger. She extended her hands outward as if she were doing some sort of grand presentation.

“Behold. The viola, the cello, the double bass. All in perfect working order, all for your viewing pleasure. Now tell me, which of these instruments will you-”

“That one.”

Without hesitation, Lunasa pointed to the cello. The viola seemed too familiar while the double bass just looked unwieldly. The cello on the other hand, that was unique, but it looked doable. Like she could figure out how to make it work in a matter of second. Shrugging, Raiko picked it up, strolled over and stood it up next to Lunasa, getting the poltergeist to hold it up for her.

“Want some sheet music, or…”

“I think I’ll give this a test first. Just to get a feel for it.”

“Alright. I’ll be over by my drums if you need a beat.”

Raiko made her way back over to her drum set, just close enough for Lunasa to still be near. The violinist looked over the cello up and down, as if she were sizing it up, before she took its bow and got into position. She looked over at Raiko for approval, with the tsukumogami giving her a thumbs up in response. With that, Lunasa went ahead and began.

The resulting tune was… simple. Short. Somber. But within that melody lied something that wasn’t there whenever Lunasa attempted to play the other instruments: Heart. She was quite visibly enjoying performing with this cello; not to the point of being ecstatic, but she wasn’t frowning, or straining, or anything of the sort. She seemed like a natural.

“...Raiko? Could you…”

“...ah, yes. Anything for you, Lunasa.”

Raiko hopped onto her main drum, a rather large, taiko-like bass drum, and held up her sticks. She began to perform a simple rhythm on the floating set circling around her, something that would go well with just a lone instrument. And so, the duet would begin. A poltergeist and tsukumogami, working together without the ghost’s sisters for a smaller, more intimate performance. The passion was very clearly there from the both of them.

“That’s it, that’s it.”

The song continued, rising and falling as any song with grander orchestration might in a show of Lunasa’s talent. Even Raiko picked up in volume while not necessarily increasing speed to give the show a more bombastic tone. As this improvised performance reached a climax the duo gave the song everything they had, accelerating in intensity until there was nothing left to accelerate. There was just one part left, and so with one last hurrah, the pair played, then paused, then played again, until at last, drawn out note ended the whole affair. At last, it was done.

“Bravo, Lunasa, bravo.”

Raiko hopped off the drum and gave Lunasa a standing ovation. The poltergeist, visibly blushing, did a bow in thanks.

“T-thank you, Raiko, truly. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to learn another instrument, and yet here you are, pulling out all the stops for me. You’re truly a lovely person.”

“As are you, Lunasa.”

Raiko then moved over to Lunasa and pulled her into a tight hug. Yeesh, the poltergeist thought, Raiko was a strong hugger. Must’ve been the strength from all the drumming. At least it helped her feel a little more relaxed after all that effort she went through. Raiko’s hugs always had a way of doing that.

“Here, I’ll help bring the rest of this stuff inside. Don’t worry, I’ll get the heavy stuff.”

Oh. Right. There were still several other instruments they needed to bring inside. Oh well, all good things had to come to an end, and with that thought the duo broke the hug and began dragging each and every instrument inside the manor and toward the nearest storage closet. Sure, the epilogue was a tad disappointing, but neither was about to complain about how the initial ending played out.

On the bright side, at least they probably wouldn’t have to get all 13 out next time Lunasa wanted to try one.

[amerrierworld]

Little Songbird (pt 3)

Part 1 | Part 2

Summary: Lady Dimitrescu becomes addicted to your voice and wants to hear you... sing some more.

Characters: Alcina Dimitrescu x fem!reader

Word Count: 3,087

Warnings: The extra Smut Chapter ;)

The next day, you were a bit exhausted from the previous night’s... activities. But you set about work the same way as usual, though buzzing with an unusual excitement about the evening to come. 

You were working on repairing a rip in one of your old dresses. You really wanted to impress the Lady and look as good as possible, now that she had taken a liking to you. As you worked, the head maid asked you about your previous night’s duties while preparing lunch.

“It wasn’t all bad.” You kept your gaze on the hole in the dress you were mending as she prepped ingredients. “The Lady seemed very preoccupied. I don’t think I was much of a bother.”

“That’s very rare,” another maid cackled while peeling potatoes next to you. “She always looks at us like we’re the dirt on the bottom of her shoes. But I suppose the pay is good.”

“Not freezing out in the cold is very good pay, I agree,” the head house maid said dryly. “I suggest you try to keep it that way.”

The maid looked flustered at the comment and scampered off, intimidated by her gaze and muttering something about more things to be done. You bit your lip to stop from smiling.

“How was it really, my dear?” The head maid turned to you, a much kinder look in her eyes now. “The Lady can be a touch.. harsh.”

“It was fine, really. I didn’t know she had a piano until now.”

“Oh, yes. I’ve never heard her play myself, but I’ve heard stories she used to perform. Especially around holidays or important events.”

“Really?” Your mouth gaped a little as she explained. “I didn’t know she was that good at piano.”

“Oh, no, dear. Not piano. She would sing. It’s a bit sad we haven’t heard her sing at all in our time at the castle. I suspect it would make her a little more approachable. But that may not be what she wants. I’ve heard she was quite a talented singer though...”

As she kept talking, the needle had stilled in your hands, your body freezing at the sudden revelation. Lady Dimitrescu, a singer? Surely not. 

“..Are you alright?”

You snapped out of your thoughts, thinking of how she would sound, what she would sing, and if you would ever get to hear her sing. 

“Yes, yes I’m fine.” You kept pushing the needle through the fabric, trying to remain calm. You felt your body tingle as you remembered the way she wanted to hear you sing. “I have to say, it is quite surprising.”

“Our Lady is definitely full of surprises.” She patted your shoulder before leaving you to your thoughts and your half-stitched handiwork. You weren’t sure if you’d be able to focus on any tasks for the rest of the day now.

Later that night, you hurried to sneak through the hallways on your way to your Lady’s bedchambers. You really didn’t want anyone to see you on the way, since you had no supplies to have an excuse of a chore to be done this time. There was one maid who caught your eye, and she gave you a curious once-over as you walked by in your nicest dress, looking like you were going out rather than going to bed. 

When you got to the door of the room, your heart was thundering in your chest. Your hands had gotten sweaty, and you didn’t understand what was so stressing for you. She had seen every inch of you already, had stripped you on top of the piano, and made you come like you never had before.

You delicately rapped your knuckles on the door, and waited for long, agonizing moments for a response. When none came, you became curious. You turned the door handle and pushed. It opened with no resistance, and there seemed to be no noise coming from inside the room.

You poked your head inside, and was once again astounded by the sheer size of the room. Against your better judgment, you slipped inside and shut the door behind you. Being early was always a good thing, you decided.

Since Lady Dimitrescu wasn’t there yet, you had time to take it in. You were drawn to the massive bed, and the dark red sheets that adorned it. Probably the best colour choice, you figured, considering the high risks of blood stains on any surface in the entire castle. 

You approached and ran a hand over the edge of the fabric, marvelling at its silkiness and expensive textures. It reminded you of everything Lady Dimitrescu liked to wear; expensive, silky, smooth...

The door slammed open, ripping the quiet thought out of your brain, and there stood Lady Dimitrescu. Her expression was fuming, angry, but it didn’t seem to be directed at you, because the minute she saw you standing in the room, it softened in confusion. Like she had forgotten you’d be coming.

You let go of the sheets and clasped your hands behind your back, curtsying quickly in fear of her anger and not wanting to step out of line. She nearly scoffed at you, and took a few long strides to the vanity, sitting down heavily on the bench.

“Help me with my dress.” Her tone was curt, demanding. You paled a little, thinking this night wasn’t gonna go how you expected it to, but still doing as she said. You were a maid, after all.

With her seated, it was easier to reach the buttons along her back, and you made quick work of them. But when you stepped back and she didn’t make any move to get out of her seat, you realized she wanted you to get the entire garment off her.

Her pointed gaze at you in the mirror disappeared from view as you approached the open back and pushed the two halves of the dress aside like peeling delicate fruit. You couldn’t help it; you ran your hands along the thick skin of her back as the dress fell off her shoulders, revealing a tantalizing bra clasp right at eye level that you could have undone quickly if you wanted to.

“You’re being quite bold, little one,” Lady Dimitrescu finally spoke, her voice deep, sultry, but not gentle like it had been last night. There was an iciness to it that stung. Your hands had been lingering a little too long on her skin.

“Forgive me, my lady,” you said, stepping away as she got up to her full height and let the dress pool at her feet. You saw heels in your view and stockings raking up long legs, but you didn’t dare look any higher. 

“Oh, pet. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” She ran a hand over your head and walked past you. Your instincts kicked in and you picked up the dress to fold tidily on the vanity’s bench. The slightest touch from her fingers made you shiver, and a blush crept up the back of your neck.

“Look at me, sweetling.”

You turned around to face the bed, where she was sitting, one leg swung over the other, hands perched behind her on the mattress. Yellow eyes looked at you and you gulped for air at the sight of her.

“You’re allowed to look, darling. It would be a bit inconvenient if you weren’t.”

Your cheeks were burning now, but you finally let your eyes wander down her frame. Her lingerie was the epitome of femininity, yet dark and sultry, just like her. The black lace hugged her curves. Her stockings were held up by a garter belt, and she kicked off her heels with one smooth jerk of her legs. 

Her tummy folded in when she was seated, and her thighs, though muscular and lean, were thick and looked strong enough to crush your entire body if she wanted to.

“Come here.” That familiar voice zapped through you and you approached the bed, briefly wondering if what you had heard about her singing talents were true. You supposed it wouldn’t surprise you. As a lady of her standard, learning an instrument or musical skill must’ve been a required lesson for her etiquette. 

She picked you up to sit in her lap, and you squeaked in surprise as she lifted you once again. A chuckle rang throughout the room and you looked up at her, relieved to see the earlier anger had dissipated from her gaze when she looked at you.

“I’m glad you’re here. I had almost forgotten you were coming,” she said, running hands soothingly over your thighs as you straddled her. “I apologize if I was a bit of a sight when I arrived. The staff in this castle is somewhat... incompetent at times.”

So it was the staff that had made her angry. Did another maid try to escape? Enter the cellar? Was there an errand boy that couldn’t keep his hands off of one of the new deliveries? 

Her head lowered to breathe in your scent, lingering right by your ear. You let out a heavy sigh at the feeling of her so close to her, and you reached out to grip her upper arms that framed your body. You ran your fingers along her skin, and she recoiled for a moment, pulling away.

You froze. Did you do something wrong? Fear etched in your eyes, you looked up at the Countess, wondering if you stepped out of line for touching her. Then her gaze focused in on you and she seemed to relax a little.

“Don’t stop.”

Was it a request? An order? You didn’t mind either way, because now your hungry hands ran over her, feeling the dimples and ridges of scars and stretched skin all over. You explored with your hands as much as you did with your eyes, gazing at her cleavage, the curve of her neck, the muscles in her shoulders. 

You ran a hand over her tummy, feeling softness and subconsciously prodding it a little with your fingertip. She giggled at the feeling. Giggled. Her body jostled a bit, moving you about. You liked the feeling and the softness, so kept your hands there.

“I can see a question in your eyes, little one,” Lady Dimitrescu purred, combing a hand through your hair. You cast your gaze downward, running a hand over her skin repeatedly, familiarizing yourself with the patterns of the stretch marks.

“Just.. something I heard today.”

“And what was that?”

You squirmed uncomfortably. “I’m not sure if you want to hear.”

A finger tipped your chin up to her piercing eyes, “I doubt it’ll go unnoticed by me, sweetling. Even if you don’t tell me now, I will hear about it.”

Your mouth went a little dry at that. She was right, nothing happened in this castle without her knowing about it, but goodness... the power behind those words made you weak in the knees. Thank heavens you were sitting. 

“I was told you used to be a singer.”

An amused look crossed her face. “Is that it? I was expecting you to announce a mutiny at hand.”

You shrugged slightly, delighted in the way her hand reached to cup the back of your neck, a thumb running over your throat. “I was hardly a singer, darling. But yes, I used to.. dabble in performance. Long ago.”

“Is that why you were so interested in my singing?” 

She grinned, teeth gleaming. “I was interested in your singing because I was interested in you, little songbird.”

She tugged you impossibly closer, leaning down and running her wicked tongue over where her hand had just been on your neck. 

“W-will I ever get to hear you?” you managed to huff out, because now her firm hands were holding your middle, exploring your body the way you had been exploring hers.

“Is that what you want? To hear me sing?”

You nodded, because the low timbre of her voice was reverberating throughout your whole body, and you suddenly needed to hear it singing a tune.

“Perhaps... if you indulge me like I had indulged your last night, you may get to hear me sing too.”

You felt the tips of your ears nearly burst into flames, but you were so desperate... so eager to please. You nearly dropped down to the floor to get on your knees. 

She chuckled, “not so fast. I have a better idea.”

Lady Dimitrescu shuffled back on the bed until she was up against the pillows. Shoving a pillow under her lower back, she crooked a finger to beckon you closer, spreading her legs. The sight of her, half in candle light, spread out for you this time, but still in charge, made you swoon.

You crawled towards her and pressed your lips against the inside of her knee. She rocked her hips a little at the feeling of your warm, small mouth on her body, and fisted a hand in your hair.

“I really won’t need any foreplay, dear,” she said in a hushed tone. “Give me your mouth.”

You raced to tug the black lace panties off of her long legs, and were met with the sight of slick, swollen flesh. A carnal desire overtook you, and you surged forwards to press your mouth against her, desperate to taste.

A soft ‘oh’ escaped the giantess at your eagerness and your soft tongue tasting her arousal without hesitation. She enjoyed teasing you, yes, making you beg and dance around the sexual gratification she could give you. But this, your hunger and desire to please, made her warm all over.

“Good girl,” she said softly as your tongue began flicking over her swollen clit, lightly and experimentally. Your hands gripped the inside of her thighs, keeping them steady and spread. She was able to look down at you, and realized her rough gripping had made your hair come undone, causing curls and locks to drop down, loose and wild. Your eyes met hers, pupils dilated, and then you sucked. 

The high-pitched cry that escaped her was broken and sudden, and it made your body flood with arousal. Your legs trembled a little, the space between your legs begging for attention.

“Oh, who would have thought you’d be so good with your tongue, sweetling?” Lady Dimitrescu moaned, “I knew you were talented.. but that mouth...”

Her sentence was left unfinished, and she bit her lip, groaning softly in the back of her throat as you kept going. Your fingers rubbed her folds, teased her entrance, kissing and sucking until you could find a rhythm that made her squeak.

A nip at the hood of her clit made her gasp delightfully, so you did it again. The hand in your hair pressed down to bury your face in her cunt.

“Wicked girl,” she growled, and you moaned against her, your face wet. “Don’t you dare stop now.”

You pressed harder, one hand pushing three fingers at her entrance without any resistance as they slid inside. Your brain wasn’t working enough to keep up the pace of both, so you curled them and pressed against that soft, swollen frontal wall, scratching with the pads of your fingertips.

She nearly howled, a string of soft curses and... were those pleads? Her eyes were screwed shut, and you looked up at her strong, soft body. You couldn’t help but reach down and rub yourself through the fabrics of your clothes with your other hand. 

Eventually she noticed when she opened her eyes again, and she chuckled, making a point of slowly rolling her pelvis into your face. 

“Couldn’t keep your own hands off of yourself?” she said, her voice slurred with arousal. You made a whiny sound, restrained by your tongue and mouth against her cunt.

“I want you to come with me,” she gasped, her thick thighs beginning to shake from approaching her orgasm. You rubbed yourself even harder, eager to do as she said. 

Her usually-reserved voice came out in whimpers and low growls, and you sucked hard at her clit again, pressing your fingers deep inside, and her whole body instantly convulsed. 

Her cries of pleasure and incoherent words of praise made you topple over the edge shortly after. Her well-kept hair was undone, her mascara a little smeared, and her hands were digging painfully into your scalp. She let go once the last tremors left her body, and you relaxed against her thigh, breathing in her smell and kissing her everywhere you could reach.

“Well done, little songbird,” she cooed, eventually managing to open her eyes again and look at you. “You really are too precious for words.”

You blushed. You extracted your hand from between your legs, grimacing a little at the stickiness of your clothes.

“Let’s get you out of those,” Lady Dimitrescu whispered softly. You let her hands lift you up like you weighed nothing, and strip you.

“But- work...” you made a feeble attempt to get up, but she tutted, holding you closely to her chest, your head resting on her breasts. 

“Nonsense. You will stay the night here. You’re in no state to return to your duties yet.” She spoke curtly again, meaning there was no room for argument, but the soft throb between your legs and the haziness of your sated mind already left you limp and jelly-like. You wouldn’t have made it out the door without collapsing even if you did try to leave.

And so, you were bundled up in her arms, the blankets pulled up around your trembling form. She had pulled out a book from her nightstand and let you relax against her body as she flicked through the pages, a quiet peace filling the atmosphere around you. And then you heard it.

With your head pressed against her chest, you heard the rumble of her voice under your ear, and then her soft humming filled the room. You held your breath as you listened to the low, baritone-like notes, and the occasional page flipping of her book. 

You didn’t know the song, didn't know if it came with words, or if she had come up with it right now, but it made your heart flutter. Did she know you were still awake? 

Eventually, a hand came off of the book and pressed on your head, helping you settle against her warmed skin a little more, and then she spoke,

“Sleep, little songbird. There’ll be plenty of times for you to hear me later.”

A/N: It really doesn’t take much to convince me to write more of a series when I love them as much as this one ;) I hope you have ~enjoyed~

[venusgirltarot]

What do they find most attractive about you and what do they want to do to you 18+ — [♡] ;

This will be a shorter and less detailed reading than I usually do. Each message will be short and straight to the point and all readings are included in the same post. If you are interested in my more in depth readings you can find them in my masterlist ♡

Close your eyes, take a deep breath, envision the person you are thinking of and then choose the pile(s) you feel most drawn to.

Pile 1 ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Pile 1, you may be a Pisces with Leo placements. You have very cute/fairy vibes. You and your person may have the same sun/moon sign. You may have blonde hair and brown eyes. If you’ve posted or sent your person a mirror selfie (specifically in the bathroom) they really like it and probably look at it a lot. They think you look really pretty in it. Your person likes your lips. They may be very plump or pouty. If you wear a nude lip liner/lip stick they really like that. You may wear a lot of blush and they really like that, as well. I’m also seeing freckles and possibly freckles on the back/back dimples that they think are very cute. You have a face that they think is very cute and they like the way you walk. If you have piercings in your ears, they like those as well. You may be very feminine and they really like that about you. They like your voice. It’s very sweet, gentle, and delicate. They may like your moans and whimpers as well. They’re very dominant and like when you’re submissive. They also like finishing on your face/chest. I’m hearing “you look pretty like that” I also keep getting something about feet. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something freaky, they may just think your feet are pretty. I’m hearing “I love every part or you” They could know your family or have gone to dinner with your family. They either already have or would like to tease you when your family is around. They like having control of you and teasing you/making you squirm. They want to use one of those remote control vibrators on you in public and have probably even thought about buying one or talking to you about buying one. They may have even already ordered one. They really like your butt and look at it a lot when you walk. They probably walk behind you on purpose to watch you walk. I’m getting something about the ankles and legs, too. They may like when you wear anklets. Although they like being dominant and in control, they really like when you take control occasionally. They think it’s cute but it also really turns them on. They like when you circle your hips while you’re riding them. They also really like doing it from the back and for you to move back on them. They could be a bit jealous/possessive. Nothing crazy or serious. They just what you and everyone else to know that you’re all theirs.

Box messages: you can do it, 10-completion-world, make you miss me, I know your friends don’t like me, 4-wait think process, you feel like home, sun sign, we never see each other past 10pm, I’ll be back

Song: Let Me Love You - Ariana Grande

Pile 2 ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Pile 2, your person may be someone you’re in a relationship with or are in separation with or you could have possibly just come back together after being in separation. You may have black hair/short hair and tattoos/piercings and maybe thick thighs. Your person really likes when you wear red lipstick and black or red lingerie. I’m hearing “red is your color” your person is a giver and really likes to make you feel good. They like to watch you while they’re going down on you. You or your person (or both) may have a breeding kink. Your person thinks you look really pretty when you’re sleeping and may wake you up at night to get freaky. They also like when you use toys while you two are intimate. They’re big on giving and receiving and probably like to 69 a lot. If they’re male, they like when you give them oral or use your hands (I’m so sorry for the way I’m describing this 💀) they like to do it from the side a lot, as well. They like spooning you while you two are being intimate. They really like your boobs (if you have boobs) and really like to look at them when you ride them. They may like to listen to music during. They may have a specific playlist for it. They’re big on foreplay and really like making out with you and may grab your butt a lot when you’re making out/cuddling. They also like your stomach/kissing your stomach. They really like going down on you. I’m hearing “your p*ssy is heaven” they really like how you taste and they probably crave you when they’re away/at work. They love giving you whatever you want or need and they like to see how far they can take you. They care more about the experience and the process than they do finishing and they want to make it last as long as possible. I’m hearing “savor every inch of you” they really like your legs, as well.

Box messages: don’t hold yourself back, the best is yet to be, new moon in Libra, September, 10-completion-world, what reminds you of me, 7th house, take that leap and do it, this is meant for you, sun sign

Song: Tonight - Summer Walker

Pile 3 ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Pile 3, if your person is a man, they are definitely packing. They like when you ride them. I’m hearing “ride me off into the sunset” 😭😭 and they may be into edging/punishment. They’re more dominant and you may have to ask them if you can use toys/touch yourself etc. they may like cuffing/tying you to the head board or like when you do that to them. They’re really into mutual masturbation. They like watching you pleasure yourself and they like seeing you beg. They may like doing it in the water or shower/bath. They have a very Virgo/Taurus energy about them. If there’s a mess when you two are done, they may clean you/the room up and even wash the sheets and blankets. They’re very freaky in the bedroom but kind, gentle, and caring outside of it. They’ll tie you up, spank you, edge you, etc. and then wake you up with breakfast in bed the next morning. Even if they edge/punish you, they always let you finish in the end and always make sure you’re okay. They would never make you do something outside of your comfort zone. They’re probably more experienced than you are and teach you a lot. They really like that you two can be completely different people in the bedroom than you are in public. You two do whatever you want in private and no one knows about it and they like that. They don’t talk about their sex life. The time you two share alone and what you do in that time stays between you and no one else knows. They like how sweet, kind, and gentle you are. It’s hard to explain but they really like how different you are in public vs the bedroom and they love that their the only one that gets to see that. They don’t ever want anyone else to see you the way only they get to. They really like showing you/guiding you through whatever you two do in the bedroom. They could encourage you a lot when your touching them or giving them oral. Lots of “good girl/boy” “you can take it” “just like that” etc. they’ll also be a big tease. They know what you like and what you want and they’ll give it to you but they may make you wait/beg first.

Box messages: you are supported in this, it’s always been you, you know what you want, we can make this work, 11:11 I still miss you, Virgo Mercury, I’m jealous, what reminds you of me, sweetheart, the best is yet to be, 1st house, Scorpio Venus

Song: Streets - Doja Cat

[bisexual-horror-fan]

For the raffle, may I suggest a lil drabble with Freddy coming into someone’s dreams and doing the most depraved shit, carving another letter of his name into their skin every time they moan and having them lick their own blood from the blade? Maybe him tracing the blade over their lips before deciding they could use their mouth for more useful things..

Congratulations on 2K. You very much deserve it and I’m quite proud of you.

I fucking adore this prompt. Real fucking dirty and nasty, hope you enjoy this, nice and quick and filthy! Let’s fucking goooo! 

—

Rating. Explicit. Length. 800-ish Words. Freddy Kruger X GN! Reader. No Pronouns Or Parts Specified. Warnings: Denial. Edging. Knife Play. Blood Play. Blow Job. Dirty Talk. Teasing. Taunting. 

—

Six Letters.

—

He suggested this game. He had been denying you for weeks and you were tired and just wanted to fucking cum and he said the only way that he would help you was if you agreed. Now? Slick with sweat and trembling sprawled on the bed he conjured in the boiler room with him on top of you, hands all over.

You were regretting it.

You were trying to hold back the moan with every single fibre of your being. Biting your lip so hard you feared you would draw blood, well more blood than he had been drawn already. He was making it impossible. He had you pinned below him, that supernaturally talented and long tongue working you into a frenzy. Your hips were bucking up, desperate for more contact with him, needy, so fucking needy as he worked you over, circling that most sensitive spot that made your back arch. 

You were getting close, dangerously close and you were practically panting, a deep suck made you break and cry out a horse and frantic, “Yes!”

As soon as it left your lips you regretted it, a sob and a shake of your head as you met his gaze, hungry and predatory, that awful grin nearly splitting his face in two. You sniff, a weak sob, eyes watering as you shake your head, a soft whisper of, “No, please, no, I can’t. Freddy I swear I can’t-”

He laughed as he climbed up your body, “Ooooh yes you can sweetheart, I know you can. And if you couldn’t, I’d make you and you’d take it and fuckin’ thank me for it.”

His nose ran up the length of your neck and you squirmed with a whimper, tried to get away but his hands were on you, holding you down, “Ah-ah, no escaping this.”

“Lift your leg.” The command was clear and your head fell back on the pillow in defeat, lifting up your leg, showing off the work so far that he had done on your thigh. Your eyes closed and his fell down, running over his handiwork, his non-gloved hand reaching out and his fingers ran right under the tender wounds he inflicted, “Oooh, it’s gonna look so good, gonna scar up so fuckin’ pretty.”

He said it with such affection, so much warmth that it made the boiler room seem like a freezer in comparison. You hear the sound of metal on metal as his glove moved, you shivered, face scrunching, you feel the fear grip your heart again, fists clenching the sheets. “Here we goooo-”

He takes his sweet time. One blade tracing the outline, a featherlight cut that stung but it wasn’t good enough, he simply used it as a blueprint before really digging the blade in. Sinking it a quarter of the way into your thigh and dragging it down, hard. It split skin and muscle like it was nothing. His non-gloved hand held you down to stop you from shaking but you cried, you sobbed and yelped and were sweating up a storm. 

It hurt so fucking much, more than anything you had experienced previously, the blood spilled, ran down in thick rivlets over the previously spilled and now tacky mess, down your thigh and onto the sheets, staining them further. 

He pulled the blade out quickly and it made you nearly scream, he hummed out, “Music to my ears.” 

Tears spilling down your raw cheeks you feel it nudge your lips, your eyes peek open and see the bloodied blade right there again. His non-gloved hand slid up your body, groping you as he went until it reached your face. His thumb rested on your chin and he prompted, “You know the drill by now. Open.”

You listened, your lips parted and your tongue darted out, keeping your eyes locked with his as you cleaned the salty iron taste from his weapon. “There’s a good slut. You are so good at playing clean-up crew for yourself.”

You sniffed as your tongue ran up one side and flicked carefully over the end of the blade. You wrapped your lips around it carefully and sucked and you saw the lust flicker in his eyes, “You know…Maybe your mouth could be put to better use.”

You had to admit blowing him with a mouthful of your own blood as lube was pretty fucking filthy and it made your hole clench in need, you were already sinking down and he chuckled, “Awe there you go.”

You slipped down, your hands on his hips before sliding to his belt and opening it, taking his zipper down and pulling him out, hard and thick, heavy in your palm. You leaned in and wrapped your scarlet stained lips around his head and sucked indulgently. He sighed in pleasure, his non-gloved hand on your head, pulling you down, making you take more of him and you moaned against his shaft. 

You prepared to give him the best blow job, pain in your knees be damned but he said something that made your pace falter, “Don’t think you are getting out of the game. If you want to cum you still have three more letters to try and earn it.”

You whined, the wound in your thigh, the three carved letters read “FRE-” so far ached and wept more blood as he made you choke and gag on his weighty cock.