#this man is a walking fucking hazard

[frnkiebby]

PLEASE LETS TALK ABT THIS PLZ PLZ PLZ HE TWO OF HIS TOES, HAS 4 CHIPPED TEETH ETC HES SO SILLY

i’ve got one up on frank now, i’ve broken all of my toes~🎃

[teaboot]

OH FUCK YALL THOUGHT I WAS *ARMED GUARD*????

BRUHHHHHHHH

I'm the lowest level licensed security you can hire

I work foot patrol for shit like wet cement, construction sites, malls, libraries, outreach centers, and local events

My job is, essentially, human scarecrow

I am not permitted to carry a gun.

I am not permitted to carry a taser.

I am not permitted to carry pepper spray.

I am not permitted to carry a baton

I am not permitted to carry a knife or any multitool containing a knife

I don't have a plate vest

I'm not permitted to make any physical contact outside of administering first aid or in self defense, which must be made in minimal force required to ensure personal safety

I escort employees to make bank deposits, ask aggressive or violent people to leave, and take notes on safety hazards in patrolled areas

If someone bleeds, throws up, or takes a dump somewhere they shouldn't, it's between me and the custodian to make sure nobody slips in it bay bee

It is none of my business if someone is doing drugs. If they aren't an active danger to themselves or others then they're golden

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

If you're selling drugs in clear view I will ask that you please do that elsewhere, ideally with more discretion. End of interaction

If you are using drugs in clear view I will tell you *exactly* where the property ends so you can smoke your bong 3 feet outside of that line where I can't do shit if someone complains. End of interaction

Site Security is not police. It is not LPO. Someone could point you out as you run off the site and say "I saw him shove a microwave down his pants and walk out" and it would be approximately none of my business.

THINGS THAT ARE MY BUSINESS

Overdose in the bathroom. I will verbally check twice that you are conscious, and if I get no response I will warn that I am coming in to check on you. If I find you on the ground I will again try to speak to you, warn that I am touching your shoulder, and give you a jiggle. If I can't wake you up I roll you into recovery and wait for paramedics.

Threatening or harassing staff. You cannot make passes at the highschooler operating the pretzel stand. You cannot tell the bank teller you'll "track him down eventually". The lady at the nail salon said she didn't want to marry you six times now and now I'm your problem

Abuse, endangerment, or neglect. If you leave your baby on the sidewalk so you can shop by yourself then I will be the jerk who ruins your day. If you hit your kid I will become very much your problem. If you locked your dog in the car with the windows rolled up six hours ago and it isn't getting up when I tap the window I'm gonna be the biggest pain in the ass you'll see all day

Safety hazards. Don't shoot off a bottle rocket in the parking lot. Yes it's very cool and you probably won't hit anything important but there's a pretty big empty lot like six blocks away man, what if you nail a kid or something. If you wanna take your bearded dragon to the food court, keep him in your coat or in a carrier. Climb the telephone pole on Tuesday because thats my day off

Client complaints/concerns. Boss says you've been here living in your car for three days and it's time to move on. You and I know it's been a month but between us if you switch locations every couple days around the lot she won't catch you again till at least May. As long as you don't leave a bunch of trash laying out we're good.

END NOTES

If you have tattoos on your face, throat, or hands and you wanna pull something you gotta be so incredibly discrete, is so incredibly easy for Law Enforcement to track you down you have no idea. I know like 3 guys with face tattoos in town, one of them's been my buddy since highschool and the other 2 were introduced to me like "watch out for a guy with a star on his cheek, his name is Patrick Sturblish, he's 43 years old and I saw him pocket a redbull once".

Always assume someone is operating the cameras live.

The courts are so insanely overwhelmed all the time, if you nab something small and vital like bandages, tampons, underwear, whatever and don't have a long list of priors usually even a cop won't bother trying to charge you. If I can't tell you not to steal for the consequences then at least don't get cocky about it

In my own experience if you walk into a big store and straight up tell someone "I don't want to steal but I need this very badly" then usually someone will find a way to get it to you

If someone tells me you're stealing on camera I will let you know that someone caught you and it's your last chance to put stuff back before they do something

If you pull a weapon on me or someone else while I'm working then I'm required to inform police so please don't do that thank you

[deadsetobsessions]

Gotham rained a lot more than Amity ever did.

Danny could not help but appreciate the differences. From the way the city itself curled around her inhabitants to the weather, Gotham was far darker than Amity ever managed to be.

Still, there were similarities. The screams, for one. In Amity, it was ghosts, their victims, and whichever ghostbuster of the day rocking up to rock each other’s shit. Another similarity? Danny’s inability to not get himself into troublesome shit, because he could never ignore a cry for help.

That scream was a cry for help if he’s ever heard one.

Danny cursed himself as he slipped through the alleyways, strides becoming smoother and agile than he normally walked like. He stuck to the shadows, the prickling of ghostly senses and honed vigilante instincts guiding him towards the scream. It was a man, getting stabbed by a guy in a red helmet.

Danny maintained that he was new here.

Which is why his foot connected solidly with Red Helmet's... red helmet.

"Motherfuc-" Red Helmet shouted as he was punted several feet away.

"Holy shit dude, are you good?"

Danny helped the guy up.

"Thank fuck! Back up! What took you so long?! Boss is gunna be so pissed if we're late!"

Hold up. Boss?

"Boss?"

“Black Mask, asshole! We gotta go before he decides to cut off our limbs!”

Danny yanked the guy to the side just as a bullet ricocheted off the rusted fire escape.

“Ope!”

“You’re not going anywhere.” A mechanical voice growled behind them.

“Oh fuck, Red Helmet guy.” Danny muttered.

“Shit, ya gotta run, tell boss I got caught.” The injured goon- because it was now apparent to Danny that the guy was working for someone dangerous- said. Danny appreciated the thought, but he only intervened because the guy was getting stabbed.

“Uh,” Danny hesitated. Clearly the guy had the wrong idea.

“Don’t make a move, unless you want your fucking heads blown off,” Red Helmet guy- wait, why does he feel liminal?- raised his guns. “Why don-”

Red Helmet guy was cut off by the thud of the now unconscious goon.

His helmet tilted down and then back up at Danny.

“Guess it’s just you and me,” Helmet guy sneered out. “Better tell me everything you know about Black Mask, or else you’ll get a taste of what he had.”

Danny held up his hands even though he knew he could just let the bullets phase through him. The smart thing would be to absolve himself and not get in the middle of two criminal’s beef as a civilian.

Danny’s full name, however, could have been Danny ‘Dumb Decisions’ Fenton. So, Danny practically interjected himself like an overexcited puppy at a doggy daycare.

“Okay, no need to get bloody. But uh, I have a question.”

Red Helmet cocked his head and mockingly gestured with his gun. “Sure, why not.”

Danny let as much of his midwestern accent into his voice as possible. “Who’s, uh, Black Mask?”

Red Helmet paused. Then he sighed. “You’re not from here, are you?”

“No…? I’m, uh, new in town.”

Red Helmet lowered his guns, and for some reason, Danny could tell that he was exasperated.

“Why would you even get in between a fight, dumbass? I have a gun! I coulda killed ya! He’s a criminal’”

Danny protested. Rude! “In my defense, you were stabbing him! You’re a criminal too, you know!”

“That makes it worse! You-!” Red Helmet paused. “Wait, do you even know who I am?”

Danny let his gaze wander down to the red bat-shaped logo on the guy’s chest. “Uh… Red Helmet… bat-guy?” He hazarded a guess.

“Oh my god, you’re an idiot.”

Danny gaped. “Excuse me?!”

“You heard me,” Red Helmet put his gun back and planted his fists on his hips. “You’re an idiot. Who gets in between a vigilante and the goon of a crime lord.”

Danny crossed his arms, leveling an unimpressed look at Red Helmet. “I’ve never heard of a vigilante killing someone, Red Helmet Bat-Guy.”

“It’s Red Hood.” Red Helmet sighed, walking closer. “And I wasn’t going to kill him.” Danny scoffed.

Danny relaxed, sensing the truth coming from Red Helmet guy’s liminal aspects.

“He’ll die looking at your ugly mug,” Danny sassed. “You’re gonna get him to a hospital, right? I’ll go with you.”

“Are you midwesterners all this trusting? What if I was the goon and this guy was the vigilante?”

Red Hood hiked the goon over his shoulder in a fireman carry. Danny followed after him.

“He’s the one that told me to go running back to his boss, Red Helmet.”

“It’s Red Hood.”

“That doesn’t look like a hood.”

Danny grinned as Red Helmet grumbled. How interesting! Maybe he won’t miss Amity as much as he thought he would!

“Ugh, fine, I guess someone’s gotta watch your dumb ass so you don’t get mugged.”

“I can take care of myself!”

Hood grunted. “I guess that kick wasn’t half bad.”

Danny beamed at him. “Thanks!”

——

Danny chucked a chimichanga at Red Hood.

“Wait a minute, you’re a crime lord! Being a goon was way less illegal than being a vigilante crime lord!”

Red Hood cackled at him.

[hairmetal666]

Eddie thought inviting Steve to the Grammys would be fine, cool, no big deal. And it should be, but Steve is walking out of the suite's bedroom wearing a burgundy tuxedo that fits him like a fucking glove. His shirt is unbuttoned just enough to let chest hair peak out, and Eddie thinks he might faint.

He's always been attracted to Steve, of course, but never let it go further than that. Like, sure, Steve was hot as fuck, and sure he was the best guy Eddie had ever met, and sometimes, yeah, he did have to force away thoughts of Steve when he jerked off, and in other circumstances he'd totally be head over heels. Just, Steve is straight, the straightest, a fucking arrow.

Eddie tears his eyes from Steve's body. "You look great, man." He slaps Steve's back. Keeping it cool; keeping it so cool.

"Psh," Steve says. "Have you looked in a mirror? Oh my god." His eyes are saucer wide as they travel down Eddie's body.

"Is it too much?" Eddie crosses his arms over his bare chest.

"Are you kidding? You're--fuck, man. You look good as hell."

He's wearing a silky burgundy shirt, open to show off the necklaces around his throat, his tattoos, the silver in his nipples. His pants are leather, tight, sitting low on his hips and putting the cut of his pelvic bone on full display. They have a lace-up closure that comes dangerously close to showing pube.

Heat rushes to his face at the compliment. "It's--you know. Hazard of the job."

"Yeah, hazard, sure. Guess it's a hard life having hot dudes literally throwing themselves at you."

Eddie barks out a laugh. "That's a vast exaggeration."

"Is it?"

He blushes harder. "You're my date tonight, Steve."

"My point exactly."

His manager and publicist usher them out the door before he can ask what the hell that meant.

---

The ride is giddy and playful, Steve popping champagne to celebrate Eddie's nomination for Song of the Year, even though there's no chance in hell he wins.

Steve is happy. His face is bright with joy, eyes shining, laugh loud and infectious. He's gorgeous, knows it, will be an absolute menace on the red carpet. He's been with Eddie to parties and stuff before, doesn't have any anxiety in front of the camera and isn't obsessed with musicians like Eddie is, unafraid to meet them.

Or so Eddie thought.

Because now they're standing at the edge of the red carpet, Steve very nearly trembling next to him.

"Harrington?"

"That's--That's Madonna." Steve points to her. "We're not even ten feet away from Madonna." He gulps. "Eddie. Madonna."

Steve has met famous people before with Eddie. Ozzy, briefly, Janet Jackson, Dave Grohl, James Hetfield, and he'd always been fine. Barely batted an eye. But get him within reaching distance of Madonna and he falls apart.

Eddie doesn't think about it, grabs Steve's hand, twines their fingers together. "Okay?"

The smile Steve throws him, grateful and a little embarrassed, stabs straight through his heart. He calms as they make it up the carpet, but he doesn't drop Eddie's hand, even when they pause for pictures. In fact, he leans into it, drapes his arm around Eddie's shoulders, or around his waist, seeming to thrive the closer they are. Eddie feels this dangerous pull to indulge in it, to let himself believe it means something, and he doesn't quite have it in him to turn it off.

By the time they reach their seats, Steve is relaxed back to his normal charming and handsome self, doesn't bat an eye as Eddie introduces him around.

The show passes quickly with all the performances and Steve whispering jokes in his ear. It's the best time he's ever had at an award show, like he should have been bringing Steve along this whole time. He's so distracted that he's not really ready when Paula Abdul comes out to announce Song of the Year.

His name is read off as a nominee and Steve grabs his hand, squeezes tight. Eddie's heart flips in his chest. He's not paying attention when Paula opens the envelope, too focused on Steve's strong hand holding his. He hears her say, "And the Grammy goes to--" and everything goes fuzzy.

Steve is saying, "oh my god, oh my god, Eddie. Get up, get up."

And his fucking song is playing and everyone is cheering, a couple people slap his back, and oh shit, oh shit, he fucking won. He stands, Steve with him. He thinks they're going to hug, that's what you do in these situations, but Steve is kissing him. Not on the cheek and not a quick peck, but lip-to-lip, soft and sweet.

Steve just kissed him and he has to get on stage and give a speech. He has no idea what he says because Steve just kissed him. On the lips. On purpose. His ears are ringing and words tumble out of his mouth, thinks he says, "couldn't have done it without you, Stevie," before tripping over his feet to get backstage.

Interviews, photographs, congratulations all help him settle. He's still buzzing with the win, but aware enough now to think the kiss had to be an accident. They've been friends for nearly a decade and Steve never seemed interested in men generally or Eddie specifically.

It takes a while to finish up the backstage business, but when he makes it to his seat, Steve just beams at him. He doesn't mention the kiss, which makes Eddie think he's overreacting. It wasn't a big deal. Sure, he could still feel Steve's lips, warm and soft, against his own, but it didn't mean anything. He's just too in his big gay feelings to be objective.

They don't get a chance to really talk until they're back in the limo and on their way to the after-party.

"You won," Steve says.

"I won." Eddie smiles. "Crazy."

"You deserved it."

He shrugs. "I don't know about that."

"Doesn't matter. You did." Steve fidgets with the cuff of his jacket. "About earlier, um. The kiss. I--"

Eddie feels his face heating, heart kicking up. It was nothing, he knows, and Steve shouldn't have to-- "It was an accident. It's okay. I know you don't--it was the heat of the moment and--I know you're not--you don't--"

Steve blinks a lot, emotions flashing across his face faster than Eddie can categorize.

"What if I do?" Steve asks. His voice is too soft, eyes locked on the cuff link he's fiddling with.

"You--what?"

"What if I did mean it?"

"You're straight."

Steve goes pink. "I'm really not."

"Steve?" He shrieks. "Since when?"

"Um. Since you invited me to this?"

"What the fuck?" Eddie shoves him. "What the fuck, man?"

"I know, I know!" Steve pulls his hand through his hair. "You invited me and I freaked out and I didn't know why, and Robin made the saddest little face at me. Said, 'oh, dingus, you didn't know?' How the fuck was I supposed to know!"

"I think you wanting to fuck me should've been a pretty good indication!"

"I thought that happened to everyone!"

"It doesn't!"

"That's what Robin said!"

They're both yelling.

"Jesus christ. Jesus christ," Eddie keeps repeating.

"Look, I get it if you don't want me too, dude. I know that's not how it works, but I've been pretty crazy about you without realizing it for a while now, so--"

He doesn't mean to, he really doesn't, but he laughs. Like, super loud. Like a donkey bray.

"Okay, can the driver let me out? Like, can I go? I can't--"

"Wait, wait, sweetheart." Steve's gotten up, like he's about to knock on the partition, but Eddie grabs his wrist. "Of course I want you back, you idiot, oh my god."

"Oh." Steve's ears are pink. "Oh. Well. That's good."

Eddie huffs. "Just good? I won a Grammy and the guy I've been pining over for years wants me back. I'm having the night of my life."

"Shut-up." Steve's smile is so big, his eyes so bright.

He raises an eyebrow. "Make me," he says in his lowest register, but he's truly not prepared for it when Steve clambers over to him and lowers himself to straddle Eddie's hips.

"Holy shit," Eddie whispers. "Holy shit, Steve."

He give a wry little smile, eyes locked on Eddie's mouth. "Baby, can I kiss you?"

"Yes." Eddie clears his throat. "Yes, please, do that. Yeah."

Only, he doesn't. He's straddling Eddie, they're so close their breath mingles, and Steve's eyes flicker between Eddie's mouth and his eyes, lips so close to touching but not.

"C'mon, asshole," Eddie says.

"I knew you'd be a brat." He whispers. He wraps his hands into Eddie's hair. "Been dying to do this."

And then they're kissing. They're kissing and it steals all of Eddie's breath and his thoughts, and it's new but it's also like they've been kissing forever, like their lips and tongue know each other, like coming home.

He whines, high-pitched and breathy, and Steve laughs, kisses him deeper, moves closer, and Eddie feels how hard Steve is, the persistent pulse of him. And shit Eddie's close, on the brink just from this, from nothing, oh my god.

Steve's hands drift down Eddie's torso, mapping his chest and his stomach, coming to rest at the laces of his pants. "These have been driving me insane," Steve breaks the kiss to say. "Been thinking about undoing them all night."

"Fuck, sweetheart, you can't say shit like that," Eddie groans.

"Why not?"

"Because--because," Eddie sputters but then Steve's lips are on his neck and he's rolling his hips for friction.

Steve's fingers find the laces again, trace against them. Eddie's legs fall open, arching into the touch. "We're going to be so late," he murmurs as Steve's fingers get to work.

[chuthulhu-plays]

I generally watch LPs of horror games bc I'm too anxious to actually play them but a lot of them have FANTASTIC stories, so sometimes I just binge-watch KrinxTV for background noise. Been watching a lot of playthroughs of Still Wakes The Deep because it's such a delight to hear Scottish voice actors get work and I thought I'd address some questions I keep seeing Let's Players ask:

--Adair is a member of the National Front as you can find out from posters in his cabin, a Neo-Fascist British political party that’s been going since the sixties. While it often preaches British ethnic unity, in practice that often means “everybody in the UK should be exactly like East End Londerners” and features plentiful disdain for Scottish, Irish, and Welsh folk, alongside those perceived as “not British”. No wonder the wanker eats alone in the canteen.

--Neeps and Tatties=turnips and potatoes, mashed, drenched in butter or sauce. Fills your belly, keeps you warm, probably makes you sink like a stone because it’s so heavy.

--Cranachan=a dessert made of raspberries, honey, cream and oats, absolutely delicious

--Rennick calls Caz a “wee ned prick”. Ned is apocryphally said to stand for “non-educated delinquent” and is basically just a way of calling someone an uneducated, lower-class criminal

--A lot of things said by and about Roy indicate that he’s a teetotaller who went through AA and specifically became Catholic and is making an effort at converting Caz.

--I think it’s entertaining how Scottish nicknames often follow a pattern of shortening/rejiggering that I also see a lot with Australian nicknames—Cameron becomes Caz, Rafferty becomes Raffs, etc. Trots is an unusual one but is almost certainly a reference to him being a communist, presumably a Trotskyist. Gibbo is also an unusual one in that it’s just very silly. There’s a kind of indignity implied in being killed by a guy called Gibbo.

--A few times on the radio you hear the Shipping Forecast, a type of weather report aimed at specifically reporting weather conditions out on the ocean, and is also famous for the report being read in such a calm, soothing tone that some folk use it as a sleep aid.

--All the yellow paint for interactable things is very video gamey, yes, but is also in line with old British health and safety standards, and yellow paint on things like emergency ladders or on the edges of stairs that are trip hazards is a thing ou can still see in some older buildings.

--Caz keeps saying he’s “good with the leccy”; leccy=electricity. Caz is implied to be quite a wee guy who can get through a lot of tight spaces, and my uncle swears blind that electricians used to refuse to take on apprentices over a certain size because they only wanted to train wee guys who could get up into the tight spaces that a lot of older buildings are full of. On that note, “wee man” is a term of endearment, generally, and isn’t exclusively applied to short guys.

--Finlay saying of Gibbo that “he’s no right” is INCREDIBLY OMINOUS. It sounds mild but “he’s no right, that boy” is what older folk say about a child who’s been found disembowelling cats for fun or someone they strongly suspect is a pedophile. It’s not something you’d say about a friend who’s just acting a bit unusually.

– “Great minds united over a Buckie”--Buckfast, or Buckie, is a caffienated tonic wine that’s cheap, widely accessible, and is a bit like rocket fuel for bad decisions.

– “Ya roaster” tbh I don’t really know where it comes from, calling someone a roaster, but I’ve always felt like it has a vibe of telling them they’re huffing their own farts.

--Scunnert/scunnered--buggered, screwed, utterly fucked, etc

– “You’re the jammiest bastart on this rig” Someone who is jammy is someone who has incredible luck that is implied to be related to their sheer confidence or willingness to engage in risky behaviour. Walking along the street and finding a pound coin isn’t jammy; crossing the road confident that the cars won’t hit you and stopping in the middle to pick up a pound coin before making it unscathed to the other side is jammy as all hell.

--Barlinnie is the biggest prison in Scotland, and largely hosts violent offenders—it’s where Caz would definitely go for hospitalizing a man.

--Weans are children (contraction of wee yins/wee ones). I thought this one was contextually obvious but apparently not.

SPOILERS BELOW

--”One spark and the whole thing’ll go up”—this is referring to the wee spark of flame in the lighter used to blow up the rig, but is also kind of a pun because electricians are often called sparks or sparkies, and in the end it’s Caz who blows up the rig.

[boltwrites]

I need a Logan/Wade/Reader fic where reader is dating Wade (before movie) and meets Logan, sees how he acts with Wade, and makes a ton of “just fuck already” jokes that Wade (ofc) encourages and it pisses Logan off until he does one day (reader included lol) 😏

A/N: i'm going to have to make a part 2 for this, since this is pretty much solely humor and reader making fun of wade and logan. i will be making a part 2 for the smut, though. mark my fucking words.

some things to note: reader is stated as polyamorous and LGBT (no specific label is mentioned). also, lots of sex jokes and fourth wall breaks lmao.

You were used to Wade bringing around some strange characters. Usually, they thought he had drugs or something (which he did, most of the time. Until they all mysteriously went missing right before his birthday party. Almost like his unsavory lifestyle was suddenly sanitized for wider consumption. Hm. Weird.) Sometimes they wanted money - other times it seemed more likely that Wade was holding them for ransom and relapsing into his merc days. But that wasn't really your business.

The point to your opening statement was: you didn't really want to fuck Wade's friends. Astonishing, really - you went to high school with a group of weird kids that all turned out to be some flavor of L,G,B or T and as such, you either wanted to or did fuck most of them. But Wade's friends? They just lacked a little something-something. Al was too old and too high most of the time. Yukio and her gruff girlfriend were far too young for you. Colossus was too Russian. Vanessa was Wade's ex - which would have been hot, honestly - but you weren't the biggest fan of how the two of them handled the post-breakup, and therefore she was off limits. But Peter... maybe...?

No. No, if you fucked Peter, Wade would never let you hear the end of it.

So, you were typically relegated to Wade, and Wade alone, which was more than fine by you. That insane healing factor meant the man could go all night, and he was naturally (or, unnaturally. Mutantly?) ribbed for your pleasure. Nice.

So when he came back from his most recent world-saving (multiverse saving?) adventure, you expected him to bring back maybe some kind of bright-eyed teenage sidekick, or a wacky off-the-wall team up, like Dopinder.

Ah, right, Dopinder. God, you would have fucked him. Sadly, the man was staunchly monogamous like some kind of fucking freak.

Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, when you walked into Wade's unbirthday party? He had company. And the company? Hot. Old. Man.

Oh no. Your fucking weakness.

You'd really never forgive Wade for evaporating Cable before you had a chance with him.

Maybe this was his make-up present.

And said present - or, man, shouldn't objectify - could not take his damn eyes off Wade. Glaring at him, huffing a little half-chuckle when Wade insulted someone with a joke, rolling his eyes as Wade recounted some story of their conquests with exaggerated arm movements and wild, unnecessary additions.

Oh my god. Oh my god? Did Wade fuck him before you could? That bitch!

You scoffed to yourself as you threw your jacket on the coat rack - or was that Peter? Who gives a shit. You were on a mission. You sauntered straight up to Wade, no greeting or preamble, and tossed your arm around his shoulders, setting your ass down right in his lap.

"Oh, hell yeah! There's my sugar ass-" Wade grinned at you, and you just rolled your eyes and planted a big kiss on his bald forehead. Thank god, he'd stopped wearing that dumbass hair. It made him look like a social studies teacher. And not a good one - like one of the ones that just took the job so that he could coach the JV boy's soccer team, and he's not even very good at that. Anyway.

Wade wrapped an arm around you, and you adjusted yourself on his lap, hazarding a glance over at the man sitting next to him. His eyes flit from Wade to you, then to Wade again, brow scrunched a little closer together than when you'd first seen him.

"Wolvie, meet my little discord kitten. And you-" he broke the fourth wall, just to look you straight in the eyes. "This, is the big bad wolf. Er-ine. Yeah. Yeah, that works."

"Wade," you replied, trying not to think about the fact that he just looked into your eyes like you were a camera on the Office. "You never told me you were bringing home a third. I would have brought the nice strap."

The man - Wolvie? Wolverine? Whatever - choked on his beer, and shot Wade a confused, accusatory glare.

"What about the-"

Wolvie gestured in the direction of Vanessa, and Wade's eyes widened, his mouth actually fell open. And this time, it wasn't fake or sarcastic shock, but actual, genuine emotion.

"Oh, no no no - that metal skull of yours really is dense, isn't it, peanut?" He knocked on Wolvie's forehead with way more force than he would use on any normal human, and the man batted Wade's hand away like a pissy tom cat, lip curled over his teeth in a growl.

That was. Hot. Ok.

Wade continued talking anyway - as he always did.

"No, Vanessa? Lovely lady, don't get me wrong - but that ship sailed loooong ago, my temporally-challenged friend," Wade sighed, squeezing the arm that was around your shoulder. "No - that relationship was, as the kids say - 'lacking in communication and emotional openness' - oh, and she made me feel like chicken shit for not being a superhero!"

"Babe, you did that to yourself," you shook your head at him. Really - Vanessa and Wade had just grown apart. She'd looked into more gainful employment, and Wade had followed, struggling to integrate into whatever the fuck "proper" society was. What really happened was that Wade blamed himself for her death and tied way too much of his self-worth to their relationship. And Vanessa - well, she just didn't feel safe with him anymore. It wasn't her fault; it was the PTSD. But it still hurt him. It was better for the both of them to part ways. You always knew Wade still held a torch for her, but you didn't mind much in a relationship sense. You were polyamorous - your man loving multiple people didn't bother you. What did matter was the fact that for Wade's mental health - or what little of it remained - he shouldn't be trying to get with that woman again.

"Yeah! I know! I was getting to that - shh," he pressed a finger to your lips and you kissed it, which made him go "aww" before returning to his rambling. "Anyway, while I was on this beautiful journey of self-discovery, I realized so many things, buttercup."

He sighed, cupping your cheek. "The Avengers are absolute booty ass - without their mainstay former drug addict, I'm afraid they lost out on the crowd of little white girls that want to fuck older men, and we all know that demographic is vital to the longevity of a franchise. Furthermore, the Honda Odyssey fucks hard, which means I have to re-examine my vehicle-related inherent biases. Oh, and also - I'm not a hero. Can't pretend to be some kind of 'normie.' So I'd rather be a freak with the rest of the rejects."

Wade gestured to the rest of the party, and your grin widened, arms wrapping tight around his neck and pulling him in for a stupid, sloppy kiss. God, that's what you'd been trying to tell him for goddamn ages. Thank fuck, the whole multiverse just had to be threatened for him to realize it. You should have expected it - that's just kind of how men are.

Wolverine cleared his throat, and you pulled away, patting Wade on the chest. The older man looked at the both of you with trepidation, like he might be interrupting something. Your heart skipped a little - he really did like Wade, didn't he? Well -

"That's great, baby," you patted Wade's cheek. "Glad you had to experience whatever is closest to death for you to realize what's really important. That's so incredibly healthy and absolutely viable in the long-term."

Wolvie chuckled, grinning at both you and your boyfriend. Oh no - not only was he hot, he was pretty. That stupid little cat ear hair wasn't helping, especially not when he was laughing at your joke.

You took the opportunity to raise your leg just enough to brush your calf along the inside of his knee, and his eyes immediately flicked to yours, smile faltering as he calculated whether to lean into it or shy away.

"Thank you, I so appreciate you, baby-boo-" Wade nuzzles his nose against your cheek and you giggled, biting your lip to quell your laugh as you tried to watch both boys. "But if I remember correctly, before we went on this plot-hole addressing rant, you said something about the good strap?"

He waggled his hairless brows, and your gaze flicked between the two of them again - Wade, eager and grinning; Wolvie, tense and most certainly blushing.

"Yeah," you sighed dramatically, waving your hand in the direction of the refreshments table. "Unfortunately, the food at this party isn't bottom friendly. Shame."

"Fuck!" Wade cursed, head snapping forward in frustration. "I knew Peter forgot something! That insensitive metrosexual!"

You snorted, shook your head as your gaze pulled to Wolverine, you dragged your leg just a little higher.

"Oh, don't worry about it. If your friend here wants, we could recreate your favorite Lonely Island music video."

Said friend's brow knit, his jaw clenched as he tilted his head ever so slightly to the side, as if you'd translate your Wade-speak for him.

Thankfully, your boyfriend did it for you, with an exaggerated gasp for comedic effect.

"3-Way (The Golden Rule) (Featuring Lady Gaga & Justin Timberlake)?" He cried, leaning over so that he could smush his face closer to yours. You waggled your eyebrows suggestively.

He all but squealed, kicking his feet to the point where he almost launched you straight out of his lap.

"You hear that, Logan-boy? It won't even be gay - with a honey in the middle there's some leeway," he gestured to you dramatically, jazz-hands and all.

"It might be a little gay," you whispered in Wolvie - Logan's? - direction.

Either way, it seemed like something one of you said made the poor man short-circuit. He was just looking at the two of you like Wade was regrowing a baby head.

"It is, like, a genuine offer," you clarified for him. "We're not fucking with you - well. Wade's always fucking around."

"Oh, but I am so serious about this, babygirl. Wanna find out if that 207th bone is also adamantine, let me tell you-"

"Shut your whore mouth," Logan hissed at Wade, and you heard the man's teeth click as Wade's jaw snapped shut. What?

"Hey, did he just listen to you when you told him to shut up?"

Logan raised an eyebrow, but gave you a curt nod as answer. Your head whipped from one man to the other.

"You two definitely fucked already!"

"Oh-"

"What did he tell you?" You cut in, finger raised as Wade tried to speak. His eyes widened, and his lips closed like he had no control over them. Your jaw fell open. You turned to Logan like he was some kind of evil sex magician. Which - maybe he was. Or maybe that was a different man from the same movie that no one knows how to write because someone actually gave him an accurate accent. How would you know?

"We didn't fuck," Logan clarified. "We fought. Hard."

"It was the only way around the Hays Code censor!" Wade cut in, words spilling out like he only had a few seconds before Logan shot him another look that had his mouth shutting and his pants tightening.

You rolled your eyes. "Sweetie, the Hays Code was abolished in 1968," you patted his cheek like you were talking to a child.

"Tell that to the mouse!"

"Well," you did your best to get this trainwreck back on track. "Anyway. What do you think, hmm?"

You directed your question at Logan-Wolvie-Wolverine. It was so hard to learn somebody's actual name when Wade just threw nicknames out like candy.

But still, the man frowned, lips pursed as he considered the proposition. His lips twitches as he swirled the bottle of beer in his hand, like he could find the answers in the foam that swelled there. He shook his head, then took a sip, smacking an "ah" before the bottle hit the table with a thump.

"Eh. What the hell."

Oh. Fuck. Yes.

[moonieandi]

snapshots | stanley pines x f!reader 

summary: a quick look through concerning the early months of your life “married” to stanley pines

warnings (TW): swearing

tags: fluff, early relationship described, vague-pining 

notes: this is probably just for me… but if anyone enjoys it then ill endeavor to continue it in some fashion. No note beyond that i just really really really like stanley.

edit 8/27/24: hello! below i have linked my new masterlist of parts concerning this one-shot turned series. thank you, and enjoy!

word count: 2.3k

| masterlist | part ii |

 His earliest memories of her are hastily intertwined with the abrupt disappearance of his estranged brother. 

There is a sudden break in his memory, between following Ford to the crumbling shack’s basement, to returning upstairs without him, and eventually opening the door to her very hazarded face. 

Her head had been engulfed by a too-big hat, hair matted and stringily stuck to her flushed face, thanks to the bitter winds that racked northern Oregon that winter. She had hauled ass from the “middle-of-nowhere” bus stop to in-town, to the shack. Miles, he had presumed, and her wet socks had solidified the fact. 

If he had known she would appear at the shack's front entrance not even a week after Ford had disappeared before his very eyes, then he would count himself lucky for the forewarning, because she made in through the front door like a tidal wave. 

He eventually welcomed the intrusion, of course, but it took not even 10 minutes for his hackles to rise after she implored at the whereabouts of his long-gone brother. Unfortunately for Stanley, she never once bought the practiced lie that he was Stanford. A lie that he only had the courage to voice now, but it fell weak on her ears. Of course, she had known poindexter… and of course, she had no inkling of Stanley’s own existence. Stanford had never spoken of his no-good brother then. Another nail in the coffin, next to the nails Stanley had put there himself. 

She spoke only in bursts as if it pained her. Voice dry from the winter air. 

“Where is he?” She frantically waved a pressed paper around, previously having been folded up in her pocket. “He asked for me, so where is he? Where is that idiot?” 

“Look hun, I have no idea what you're talking about.” Hands dragging through his too-long hair. “I’m him, he’s me, now what did I send ya again?” He moves to reach for the paper, but she crumbles it in her mittened hands, clutching it like a lifeline. 

His lie is weak, but he could do without the intrusion after the long week of attempting to compile his brother's ramblings in that god-forsaken journal. 

He didn’t even know her name for fucks sake. 

This was never the fault point in his lie to her though. Because she knew instinctually that he was not Ford, and that was all that mattered conclusively to her in the end. They shared features, that was something she could not easily deny. The same curve of their jawlines, the same texture of hair, the same set eyes, but she knew simply by the way he talked that this was not her former colleague. 

Her colleague was not nearly as broad-chested as the man in front of her. Not as sure-footed as the man in front of her, and despite them both sharing obvious features, wasn’t as striking as the figure painted in front of her. 

Unfortunately for her predicament, the man in front of her made her nervous, suddenly. Whether it was the sudden realization that she had entered this random man’s home, or that she was entranced by the way the distant kitchen light lit his features. She was unsure. 

Looking back at the paper, and then again at his large outstretched hand, she admitted defeat to her curiosity surrounding him. She would need a cup of coffee. 

Sighing, she brought the paper back to its original place in her pocket. Taking off her hat, her shoulders began to droop. She had walked miles, and she would get an explanation from him no matter what. 

“Do… do you have any coffee?” 

Movement in the shack was constant. 

He was used to the usual up and down the basement stairs nowadays, and the usual venture from room to room also. 

The woman had a habit of nesting. Much like his own mother. 

She constantly had to move things, change around Ford’s shitty sci-fi bullshit, and rearrange cupboards. The first month she took to doing it he figured it was her way of simply coping with the reality of their shitty situation, but after the third month, he changed his toon. 

My god was she short, but oddly fucking mighty. 

It was on the third month he had caught her rearranging the livingroom finally. It had been the most intimidating room in the shack, thanks to the mud-soaked 80’s carpet, and the mysterious tanks that Ford just had to store upstairs for some reason. 

Luckily in their cohabitation, they both agreed that Ford’s stuff all needed to be moved from out of site. Not really for them per se, but more so so they could both catalog all his bullshit. Cataloging was something she insisted on, so he got very used to random sticky notes with her small handwriting. He would admit that his knees began to ache not too many weeks ago from the constant movement of Ford’s shit to the basement, but he more or less refused to let her assist in the move when it came to walking down the very steep flight of stairs. 

He didn’t want her to fall, okay? 

He didn’t want anything to happen really, in regards to her. He tried to separate genuine feelings when it came to her presence in general. So when they eventually parted ways, it wouldn’t feel like another nail. 

But she had to goddamn move everything in this house, and he got the distinct feeling she didn’t enjoy the fact that none of it was really theirs to move. She had insisted though, one night, that it was important that they made themselves comfortable. 

“I’ll take the goddamn fall for this, mmk Stanley?” A slight upturned smirk on her lips. “Ford can yell at me all he likes, but if we are stuck here for some time let's not live like he’s just around the corner.” 

Despite his constant bickering about her and the stairs though, he found her upstairs one evening, attempting to move the long three-person couch from one of the rooms to the downstairs living room. 

She blushed, caught red-handed. “Okay okay, but this would be better downstairs in front of the T.V., no?” 

He tisked, hands on his hips. “And ya’ just couldn’t wait, huh.” 

She laughed while he reached for the other end, cursing under his breath. “Can’t leave you alone for a minute.” 

The couch did make it downstairs, but not without some cursing, teamwork, and some pinched fingers when taking it around the bend to the top of the stairs. Stanley leading in front, holding the majority of the weight the entire way. Not that he would tell her that. 

The couch made a home in front of the tiny box T.V. that they had, and they both enjoyed the comfort it brang. The shag carpet wasn’t as comfy to sit on as the couch. 

They both sat with a grunt, after adjusting the long couch. 

“Ah, now this I could get used to.” He flung himself onto the couch, closest to the back door. 

Popping down, she made her home on the other end. “Mhmmm. Good plan, good decision, go team!” Her hand extended out for a fist bump from him. 

His hand dwarfed her own as he met her in the middle. 

She was smart, he realized, too smart for the likes of him.

She was quick as a whip for sure, with knowledge of a hodge-podge of things, and half the time she talked when they were both downstairs he didn’t have a clue what she was saying. He hated it down here at times, her rambling reminding him of his faintly forgotten childhood. She was so different in the basement. She was so different from when she was upstairs. Like she turned it on and off. 

She herself knew that Stanely probably didn’t understand most of what Ford had been doing, but at times she felt she understood even less so. So she spoke it to him, to fill some void when they were down there. The void being Ford, of course, the bridge between the two.

She couldn’t help but get the inkling that Stanley did not think fondly of the basement, whether it was due to her ramblings, or because this was essentially his brother's coffin, she didn’t wish to ask. It was the one thing she hadn’t bothered to voice yet. 

He had been assisting with moving the portal's original structure all week. She needed the area cleared, to properly reassemble the shape of the portal and then lift it to its original place on the basement wall. The pulley mechanism was hastily drawn out somewhere in the control room,  but she also needed a proper understanding of the material's weight and durability to calculate the simple engineering equation. 

Of course, she attempted to do this without looking up from her scribbles. 

Stanley’s movement around the basement set her on edge. The sweat-soaked tank top, the curly messy hair, the broadness of his chest, the god-damn grunting as he moved material around. 

I mean, okay, she had asked him to do this specifically, but she… was beginning to forget why exactly she had. She had also offered assistance, too, which he shrugged off like he had the furniture.

Right, yes the weight she needed the weight. 

“Umm Stanley, have you been able to find in the journal what kind of material this is?”

He grunted, metal falling to the wayside as he turned to her. “Nah Doc, couldn’t find shit.” He lifted his tanktop end, dabbing at his forehead. “But I can tell you one thing, ain’t like anything I’ve seen before.” 

“Hmmm. You are right, this is almost too heavy to be normal steel, and it seems Ford didn’t exactly weld these pieces together. There’s no evidence of tig welding traditionally used.” 

He moved closer, his hand on his hip, the other extended. 

“Lemme check the diagram again, he leaves weird shit in the ledgers all the fucking time.” 

His hand grazing her own, she passes over the journal. 

He flips to the part of the portal page they have access to, his fingers meeting his tongue as he flicks from page to page. Contemplatively, his hand rests on his chin, and the entirety of the book rests in his own hand. 

Leaning over like that, he takes her breath for a moment. 

“See here.” He grabs her forearm, pulling her back in front of the journal still in his grasp. “He writes this cryptic message in the ledgers around the drawing, but it cuts off because we only got one part of this bullshit.” 

She sighs deeply, her hand running through her hair multiple times. 

“Fucking hell Ford goddamn it.” She quickly rethinks, hands waving to push Stanley back a bit. So she can breathe again. “I’m sorry, really, I just mean-” 

His laugh is low and shakes his shoulders until his head falls forward, his hand meeting her own on his chest. 

Breath gone, again. 

“Doc, ain’t no way we gonna get this done unless we curse him out from time to time.” His hand engulfs hers, making her form a fist he brings it to his head, knocking his temple. “I curse him too from time to time, but usually up here.” 

“Stanley, I really am sorry. I just-” A sigh, a shake of her shoulders. “I wanna know what the hell he was thinking, Stanley, I wanna understand I really do, but I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know what to do.” 

Three months of rearranging upstairs combined with the two additive months spent in the basement had drained her, and he knew it. 

She was different down here, changed. That’s why he fucking hated it down here. Because it upset her like this. She was too pale down here, too weary, and too goddamn self-conscious. 

The thing that had plagued him for so long, the inadequacy he felt all his life when compared to his other half, was seeping into her subconscious. Ford wasn’t even fucking here, and he had somehow made her feel less than. He had been working all his life to feel equal to him, but that was his own cross to bear, and his own nail to hammer. Not hers.

He didn’t think much of letting go of her hand, in favor of grabbing her chin. Tears made trails down her dirty round cheeks, eyes wide. He thinks she stole his breath for a minute. 

“Now listen here Doc, you ain’t gotta do this alone. I never wanted you to do this fucking alone, that’s not why I told you everything.” He takes a step forward. “I told you everything because I know we can figure this out.” 

She sniffles, moving closer, leaning into the warmth of his hand. Her own curled up into his dirty tank top, journal forgotten on the floor in favor of comfort. 

“It’s gonna take some time.” She mutters under her breath, only answered by the laugh in his chest. 

“Don’t I fucking know it Doc.” A pause. “But… I mean at least we got each other, right?” 

A smile blooms on her face, her heart slowing under the struggling reassurance Stanley was attempting to bring. 

“Mmm, yeah.” Sniffling, and nodding. “Ya, I have you Stanley.” 

“And I you, Doc.” 

He steps closer, encasing her in his large arms, her head making a home in his shoulder. He was warm, she noted, and strong under her withering confidence. 

His hand reaches up, knocking on her temple. “You can’t be calling me Stanley while we are upstairs, I hope ya know.” 

She nods in his chest. Only down here can he be Stanley to her now, even in her mind. 

[wildemaven]

dream with me…

You’ve been with Joel for a few years— not in that sense. You met him somewhere between outbreak day and Boston. Smugglers together under the guidance of Tess.

You were both hardened by the same thing— tormented by the fact that you both lost everything that meant the most to you.

The only difference between you both, you harbored feelings for a man who would never have the same for you.

It was on a failed smuggling operation that your life moving forward would change forever. You fumbled the job horribly, nearly getting yourself killed by a group of runners.

Joel had to save your ass. Wasted energy and time, Joel told you, costing you both to forfeit the rest of the job and head back empty handed.

You knew you fucked up and the tension that simmered upon arriving back was obvious. You attempted to smooth things over, apologize for your fuck up and promising to make up for the loss in any way possible.

‘I don’t care what you do, you almost got us killed. I’d be fine if we never spoke again’ was all Joel said to you before icing you out completely.

Tess tried to convince you to stay. Let everything blow over like it usually does. But you couldn’t bear to stay any longer, feeling like a walking hazard to the group. It was only time before you got hurt or worse— someone else would.

Tommy offered you to join him, as he was leaving in the morning to meet up with a group of fireflies heading west. You agreed, asking him to not tell anyone that you were leaving with him.

You took one last look at what had been home for you since arriving in Boston. Glancing at Joel’s closed door briefly, then slipping out undetected, before the sun even had a chance to shine over the QZ.

‘Tommy!!’

The whole town was stunned by the commotion. Tommy and a newcomer’s reunion on display for everyone to witness. Only to you this wasn’t a stranger.

You watched from behind a wall of people, happy to see the two brothers together again. It’s the first time you’d ever seen Joel smile in all the time you had known him.

Silently, you retreat from the crowd and excitement, hoping to remain undetected for the time being.

Unbeknownst to you, Joel was made aware of your presence immediately. Tommy giving him and the young girl that arrived with him a tour of the fenced in grounds, making sure to point out the home you had been residing in since joining the community.

It’s only a matter of time before your paths cross, but you kept your distance, quick steps and redirection, avoiding any and all interactions with Joel Miller.

One evening you’re making your way home from dinner with friends, knowing you had plenty of time before Joel would be joining Tommy and Maria in the same spot. The air cool and crisp as the sun descended behind the Jackson mountains.

Your name being called out by a familiar voice stops you in your tracks. Your heart nearly beats out of your chest listening to the crunch of gravel beneath his boots as he walks closer.

‘Jus’ wanted to come say hi ‘n see how you’ve been. Seen you around here ‘n there. Seems like you’ve been avoidin’ me though.’

You turn to face him fully. He’s a much older version of himself. Greyed and still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen.

‘I’m fine, Joel. Just makin’ sure I keep up my end of the bargain— with never speakin’ again and all.’

That’s all you manage to get out before you turn and head up the path to your home and closing the door behind you.

Anywho. This was a dream I had last night and it’s been bouncing around my noggin most of the day. Of course it would end on a cliffhanger like that too.

[just-some-trans-nobody]

Naga boyfriend head cannons

Gender neutral reader

Warnings:light NSFW, brief mention of kink choking, biting, mentions of eating rodents, snakes

Minors Don't Interact!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

You are his personal heater I'm sorry I don't make the rules. Your body is warm and he wants that warm. It's a bonus that it comes from you, he loves you.

Ha you have cold hands? So does he don't worry about it.

Oh you have warm hands? Let him hold them. Hold his face in your hands he will melt into them this poor touch starved man.

At the start of the relationship he couldn't stand you touching him. It wasn't that he hated when you touched him oh no no no he absolutely loves when you touch him. He's just scared he's not used to being touched so gently before and he's terrified that he'll hurt you with his large size and not realize it. It doesn't help that once he started to get sexual feelings for you everytime you touched hin turned him on. Your pinkie could have lightly grazed his shoulder and he would hve grown aroused.

Further into the relationship he knows how much you can handle you and will absolutely man handle you. You'll be walking past him and he'll use his tail to swoop you in so he can cuddle you. He still gets turned on real easy but it's more tame now. Doesn't mean he won't be tame when having sex though.

Home boy is kinky will choke you if your also into and biting is a must. If it's agreed too and he's not venomous he'd love to bite you, really sink his fangs in. There will be times you'll be completely wrapped up in his tail will he fucks you.

If you manage to top him he'll be leaning on his own tail draped out on it begging and panting. He didn't know he could be so sensitive before.

Times he's being a grumpy pants he'll snap right out of it if told you'd top him. Instant good mood.

Whenever it gets even slightly cold he's super clingy. Will do grabby hands at you until you set down whatever your working on and come cuddle him.

Owns 700 heating blanket, hope one or both of you have a good paying job cause the electric bill is oit if this world.

Don't insult him by offering to feed him mice or rats thats gross. Guinea pigs have more meat on them any way. Just give him a BLT you weirdo he eats normal foods.

Hates broccoli though. Introduce him to cheesy broccoli and it's a whole new ball park for him.

Will be so confused on why you have a pet reptile, doesn't see the appeal.

Pet snake you say? Your mistake that's your guys child. Will refer to as himself as dad when talking to the snake.

"Now Junior be a good boy for dad and let me change out your water. Junior? Junior please get out of your water... Yes I see you blowing bubbles it's very cute."

The snakes name isn't junior he just keeps calling him junior.

Will get himself a shirt saying number one dad and wear it any time he picks the snake up.

Loves soaking in the tub, join him he'll love it.

He'll wash your hair and die from bliss if you wash his it feels so good.

Shedding is a cranky embarrassing time for him please be patient he's feeling very uncomfortable. If it's early in the relationship he won't want you near him, it's not you it's him he's not comfortable enough to have anyone bear him during this vulnerable time. If it is further into the relationship he'll be more comfortable with you being around him but just don't get to close to him, just be there for emotional support. Now if the relationship is a good amount of years in he'll act all spoiled asking you to peal his shed off for him after he soaked for a few hours at the least. He'll get all whinny and clingy demanding cuddles and snacks.

Bundling in a ball with way to many heated blankets on, this man is a fire hazard. Fire men hate him.

Can't cook for shit. Will order every meal out if you let him. Hates doing the dishes but he's good at vacuuming and dusting. Likes tidying up, not a fan of messes. He'll make sure he does his fair share of the chores and if he sees your having a bad day he'll take on more chores. Will buy your your favorite foods and snacks in hopes of making you feel better.

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

I WON'T TELL IF YOU WON'T

KINKTOBER DAY 6 - PROFESSOR AU WITH CILLIAN MURPHY

Pairing.| Cillian Murphy x fem!reader

Summary.| You’re Professor Murphy’s star student and play on his obvious obsession with you. But when he eavesdrops on a secret of yours, he has to mark you as his.

Warnings.| Dubcon, noncon, head f!receiving, groping, manipulative, blackmail, Cillian a creep.

Word count.| 2.6k

You were a teacher’s pet. It was in your female nature to grovel to those men in power. Your future depends on it hence why you need to take every opportunity you could. Professor Murphy, your literature teacher had a spellbinding fixation on you. You were his unsaid favorite student. You knew Mr Murphy had the hots for you from day one. It was a different kind of confidence boost you craved everytime you walked into his class. 

It was a dirty pleasure of yours, being a tease. It’s common for you to act in such a way, many other women do. Women desire male attention to feel validated, to feel good about themselves. A lot of the time it’s based on their raising, a lack of parenthood as an example. 

Mr Murphy would bend at the knee for you. He always had your best interest in class. You’d receive extra help from him without asking. He’d reply to your emails in a snap. Your little mistakes on your assignments would also go unnoticed by him. In return, you dressed flatteringly for him. Short skirts and cleavage showing every lecture, just for his ogling eyes. 

Flirting with him was a piece of cake, and he licked his lips clean every single damn time. Sometimes you’d brush your fingers over his. Grab onto his shoulder as you leant over him to point something out. But who really gave a shit. He pretended to be too much of a gentleman to bring to light your subtle advances, but really he was too horny to brush away those opportunities. It made him miss his youth a bit too much.

But one day you made the dumb decision of being too open in front of your professor. An urge inside of you wanted him to hear - because you knew he was already listening - that you were still a virgin. Your tongue dript of so much dignity, pride and amour propre that it would be considered a slipping hazard. A rush of adrenaline clouded your logical judgment. It’s normal to act with emotions over maturity, even at your age.

Of course your eyes have seen a couple of cocks in your life. Your hands and mouth have touched them, but you refused to a man touch you, let alone fuck you. Truth was, you were iffy with having a man inside of you. Someone touching you in that manner made you feel dirty. The longer you waited from puberty, the less you desired to do it. Your self-esteem ended up relying on your state of virginity.

When his class was dismissed, Professor Murphy couldn’t pull out his aching dick quick enough as he fisted himself behind his desk. Quicker than anticipated, he spurted out his white seed against the draw as he panted heavily, his chest heaving. He grumbled your name over and over, craving you to be underneath him.  

His mind was a drawing board on how to devour you. There were so many possibilities, but all could have severe consequences if he acted through his primal needs. But now, Professor Murphy knew that he had to act quick. A fellow classmate has captured your attention. William was kind, funny, considerate, and promising. Not to mention, a great kisser. But you were still too subconscious to let him touch you that explicitly. You started sitting next to him in class, he was distracting you a lot. Your attention on Mr Murphy lowered. Do you wonder how Mr Murphy felt?

His blood boiled. He was ready to commit murder at that moment. But no, he just had to act quicker and sharper. He had to confess, you had to confess, your binding love for one another. It was understanding, why would you admit such a thing on your own? Professor Murphy understood how anxious and restricting you would be on your thoughts towards him, towards being together. 

Yet, he couldn’t help but to wonder if you were trying to move on or trying to make him jealous. Both seemed to be logical. Either you couldn’t deal with the pain of wanting a man you couldn’t have or you wanted to make him break his moral code, his legal obligation. You got a reaction out of him, that’s for sure. 

His emotions got the better of him however. He was a harsh critic of your recent assignment, clearly shown through his final mark. You’ve never failed at anything before. Not only was it a massive smack to your ego, your scholarship depended on it. It made you angry, frustrated and anxious. So you had to know how on earth you could have failed. 

As you stood before him, you went unnoticed. It was a first, him not noticing you. The insecurity weighed down on you. Like everyone sitting in the room was watching you. “Sir, I don’t understand my mark” you mumbled, fingers twirling with one another as you stood before him sitting at his desk. 

He took a moment to acknowledge you before he even spoke. “I suppose I could go over it in detail with you” he replied, his no eye contact and no emotional tone left you dumbfounded. “But I wouldn’t be available until after my meetings after school hours” he added, finally making eye contact with you.

No, you had to be in over your head right now. He was not making a sexual advance on you. That anxious mind of yours was thinking of the worst possible outcomes. But his dark expression told you otherwise. 

“I suppose I could give you a call when you’re free” you half offered, half begged since your dignity and desperation fought with each other. 

“It would be easier doing it in person” he counted, fuck. “Just drop by my office after seven” he said carelessly, not phased if any other student would hear. Your heart started pounding. He spoke as if you were already consenting to this. How were you meant to reply to that? “Is that all?” Mr Murphy asked, a small grin on his lips. You nodded your head and did the  walk of shame back to your seat. 

You couldn’t look at him for the rest of the class. It made you feel nauseous and your skin was crawling. But he had no shame in watching you. Those gorgeous blue eyes of his was picturing fucking you in every position possible. 

Later in the day, you walked the deserted halls. Your mary jane shoes clanked over the polished floors. No one was at school at this time since it was a Friday. You could hear your footsteps echo down the hallways. With a hesitant thought, you knocked on his office door. He called you in, the door creaked open. 

“Hi there” he smiled, sitting behind his desk, the only source of lighting was his desk lamp. All of the blinds were shut. As you began to walk to the desk, he stopped you, “shut the door behind you, love”. Obediently doing as you were told, you shut the door slowly, your hand placed firmly on the knob. “Now, lock it” he ordered. You don’t know why you did it. Maybe because you were intimidated, anxious of what he would have done if you didn’t. Or maybe because it made your core naturally clench. “Come here” he gestured, you did, there was usually a pair of chairs in front of his desk but they were out of sight. Walking up to him, your teacher turned his seat to face you, legs wide open, silence filled the room. 

“Come on” he grinned, his hand patting his slim thigh.

“Professor” you whimpered.  

“Do what your professor tells you” he sighed, a hint of frustration in his tone as he patted his thigh on a slow heavy beat. 

“I thought we were going to go over my mark” you responded through a clenched jaw, refusing to make eye contact with him. 

“We can do that later” he said blankly. 

“I want to do it now” you whimpered, finding it hard to keep your guard up, your posture curling forward. “This is what I came over for, remember?” You tried to show some sternness, remembering you still had to have some power over him. His expression was as cold as ice. 

“Fine, you were sloppy. Your piece lacked creativity. I’ve never read something more rushed, do you know how many grammar issues I found?” he spat. You felt yourself tear up, not sure if it’s because of his tone or the fact that you were always a high achiever. Out of the blue he added a ultimatum, “I haven’t entered it yet, if you submit to me, then I’ll give you a more generous mark”. His eyes were dark and tone was blank. 

You gasped out and took a large step back. Professor Murphy stood from his seat abruptly, making you flinch. 

“No- I, I can’t do that. That’s wrong” you shook your head, hiding your tempting body with your arms. 

Mr Murphy sighed, his eyes lingering up and down your perfect figure. His mouth always frothed over when he saw you wear that beige pleated tennis skirt with the white see through blouse. 

“I won’t tell… Will you?” He cocked an eyebrow, head tilted as he carefully stepped towards you, as if you were a timid animal. 

“No” you replied softly. 

“Then what’s wrong?” Mr Murphy pulled a face. 

“I’ve never had sex before” you whimpered. 

“I know baby, I know. You said that knowing I’d hear you. A cry out in hopes that I would claim you. The clouds have rained a blessing for us both. I can’t wait any longer, I can’t risk you acting foolishly with anyone” he mumbled slightly towards the end. “I know you have feelings towards me” he brought to light. “And I want you to know that I reciprocate those feelings” a gentle sigh escaped his lips. 

As the distance closed in, Mr Murphy grabbed onto your hands and placed them on his beating chest. His expression was hidden by the dark, your face scrunched as you tried to decipher anything. Your heavy breathing filled the room, your ears felt blocked as you blinked with teary eyes. Slowly, he placed his hand on your heartbeat, but gradually his hand began to roam across your breasts. His other hand snaked around the small of your back, his fingers cautiously tugging your shirt out of your skirt. 

“You can’t help but to feel subconscious over your attraction towards me. It’s taboo after all, you’re so young. You still have a life to live. I’d want to get over it as well, it must hold you back so much” another sigh, a gentle smile on his lips. “But I’m here, right now. I need you to know that. That it’s me here” he said unsmiling now, his grip on your back much tighter than before. 

“I don’t want to fuck you!” you shrieked, your lips trembling. It was all a joke, it was just fun to tease him, with all of them. After trying to rip yourself out of his firm hold, you lost balance and fell onto your backside. 

You never could have predicted him to be so obsessed, so insane even though it was as clear as daylight. It terrified that he felt this way about you. Mr Murphy acted swiftly and pounced at you before you could get up. He pinned you down, your head whacked against the floorboards. You cried and thrashed to break free but it was no use when his hand smacked over your open mouth. “Why are you fighting me? You wanted this didn’t you!” Mr Murphy hissed with frustration. Hushing you of your muffled cries, he held you still until you managed to calm down.

“Now, don’t be a fucking prickteaser” he spat by your ear. “Sick of your fucking vamping, when I was so good to you” he mumbled as he started kissing your neck. You whined underneath him, still squirming like crazy, but he held you down with ease. “Now, be a good girl and stay quiet otherwise I’m going to have to spank you” he warned, a cheeky grin on his lips. His clamped hand slipped down, his fingers brushed over your wobbly lips. 

“Please sir, I don’t like this” you cried, keeping your volume down low. Mr Murphy started cooing you and brushed your hair to the side. 

“Hey, you’re stressing over nothing. I’m going to take care of you, okay baby?” Mr Murphy assured. His expression was unhinged but tone was kind. 

The only way you could respond to that was by quietly crying more. There were so many things going unnoticed by you, like how badly your body was shaking or how your core was squeezing like crazy. Admiring your face, Mr Murphy slid his hand down to your breasts and began kneading them, you bit your lower lip. 

“Such a good girl” he praised. “Always dressing up for me, looking sexy, just to make me happy” he grinned. “So your cunt is untouched mhm?” He questioned with his hands unbuttoning your shirt, exposing your cream bra. 

“Y-yes” you whimpered. 

“Good girl, you were saving yourself for someone special, for me right?” Mr Murphy asked, a sinister look on him. 

“Yes” you unwillingly repeat yourself. A soft moan fell off your lips as he played with your tits roughly. 

Slapping both of them harshly, you shrieked as he rode up your skirt, revealing your matching panties. “You did this on purpose yeah?” He mumbled with a grin. To keep him happy, you nodded. 

Slowly, he slid down your panties, you whined, heart racing and throat tightening as he pulled your panties off complete. Mr Murphy hushed you and slid down to practically lay on his chest as he took your thighs to wrap around his head. His ass was poking up like a slut, legs planted widely apart as he admired your gorgeous cunt in the dim lighting. The first lick was slow, he grumbled as you yelped at the sensation that ran up your skin. The next lick was deeper but quicker, Mr Murphy’s eyes rolled back, his cock twitching in his pants. Fingernails digging into your bare skin, you tried to grip onto the floorboards but found your hands slipping too much for your liking, resulting in you gripping onto his luscious, dark hair. 

His tongue slipped along your slit, your core was gushing now. Whimpering against his tongue, you found your back arching and hips locking up onto his mouth. Circles around your clit, up, down and zig zagging along your slit, deep inside your canal, Mr Murphy’s tongue was attacking your cunt in every movement. Your sweet, soft moans were music to his ears. 

Your walls began pulsing around his tongue, your legs shaking like crazy and your words unable to form a sentence. Nose deep into your cunt, your teacher started moaning into you, the vibrations made you yelp. With a massive pop sound, he pulled his mouth away from your cunt. 

“Does my sweet girl want to finish?” He smugly asked, his fingers slipping over your folds. You nodded instantly, hips moving up higher to him. Mr Murphy chuckled, a finger slowly slipping inside of you. You mewled, his tongue warmed you up but it still hurt to have his finger inside of you. “You’re gonna have to get used to my fingers first if you want to come. God, how are you going to react when you feel my cock inside of you?” he pursed one’s lips.  

[thepixelelf]

superhero cheol x tech whiz reader warnings: coarse language. food. wc: 1.0k

[anonymous nights] As Seungcheol ducked behind the world’s most disgusting, foul-smelling, gag-inducing dumpster, he thought this was perhaps — no, definitely — the worst idea you’d ever had. His full-head mask was starting to itch, and he felt stupid in his suit sneaking through alleys and hiding behind trash cans.

“Remind me again why I’m following this random ass dude instead of Seo Jewon? What happened to catching the city’s ‘fourth most dangerous villain’?”

A bit of static tickled Seungcheol’s ear through the communication device implanted in his suit, which he knew meant you were getting further and further away the more he pursued the target. He had no idea where you parked your small van, aside from knowing it was somewhere in the city — a precaution put in place so Seungcheol would never be able to give away your location. Or, more accurately, so he wouldn’t risk losing the petabytes of information you’d collected over the years.

“Seo Jewon was a total red herring, this is our real guy,” you said through his earpiece.

The man he was following kept walking, and Seungcheol almost thanked him because he had to get away from whatever was polluting that dumpster. “And you know that because…?”

“Hey, who’s the brains of this operation?” You sounded slightly garbled, but Seungcheol could hear your mouse clicking in the background. “That’s right, me.”

Seungcheol rolled his eyes even though he knew you couldn’t see it.

“I can feel you rolling your eyes, Solar Flare.”

Okay, maybe not.

“How do you always do that?”

He could hear your smile through the device. Maybe it wasn’t so hard. “I told you. Brains.” You tapped your mic twice, and Seungcheol winced at the plosive sound. He was about to complain when you spoke again. “Eyes up, Solar, you’re losing him.”

Glancing around, Seungcheol realized he did, in fact, lose track of the target, and he cursed under his breath. He heard you holding back laughter before you muted yourself. Picking up the pace and getting heavier on his feet, Seungcheol searched for your supposed ‘true villain’. Your silence only spurred him on; he knew you were making fun of him in your head.

You’d been assigned to him about a year ago, a decision made by the higher-ups because Seungcheol was apparently “too much of a handful” with his fiery powers (plus an equally fiery attitude), and you were the prodigious tech newbie they could force into working with him. Little did they know, spending too much time with him made you just as annoying. Hence why you and him were out tonight, chasing a completely new suspect instead of the one the bosses sent you after.

“Check your two o’clock.”

Seungcheol slipped into another alleyway, sticking close to the walls, though a load of good that did. “You know,” he said, a little breathless from his efforts to catch up to the target, “it might be a bit easier for me to tail this guy if I wasn’t dressed like Guy Fieri.”

“Hey, I didn’t design the suit, I just built it.” Your words sounded weird again. “Blame the fashion department, not me.”

“Okay, one, we don’t have a fashion department, and two, are eating cup fucking ramen right now?”

He could hear you slurping noodles up. “What? I can’t have dinner and save the city at the same time?”

“Dinner?! It’s like one in the morning!”

“I'm a busy sidekick.”

“You are not my sidekick.”

You snorted into the mic, an undignified sound you never held back from making when it was just you and Seungcheol. “Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.”

“Whatever. Tell me you at least had breakfast.” The line went silent, and Seungcheol cursed again. “You’re a hazard.”

Seungcheol could feel your greasy smile through the comm as you cooed. “I’m your hazard, Solar Flare.”

After working together for almost a year, you still hadn’t called Seungcheol by his name. You said it was “keeping things professional”, but Seungcheol was pretty sure you just liked to tease him. Before you, no one had ever made jokes about his destructive superpowers. In fact, most people stayed away from him as much as possible. Then you came along and started saying he was your personal barbecue grill or space heater, never once afraid of his tendency to catch things on fire.

Seungcheol never told you how much he appreciated that.

“Shut up,” he mumbled.

“You lost him again.”

“God damn it.”

Seungcheol spent the next twenty minutes tailing your suspect through the city with you piping in every few turns, letting him know what he couldn’t see. He was beginning to think this was stupid. Of course this guy wasn’t the culprit, you must have been wrong — it wasn’t like you’d never been wrong before.

But then the guy turned a corner where almost no one ever went. He walked through another totally gross alley and went down some rusted outdoor basement stairs, glancing around. Almost like he didn’t want to be followed. Seungcheol silently pleaded it wasn’t what it looked like. (Though he probably shouldn’t have, considering this meant he was about to catch the bad guy.)

After the man entered the door, Seungcheol walked up to it, peering through the tiny barred window. He couldn’t see anything, so he opened the door just a crack and stepped through as quietly as he could. A dark hallway was all that greeted him, but down it, he could hear angry voices going at each other over something he couldn’t quite make out. Peeking out of the hallway, Seungcheol immediately retracted when he saw everything. A bunch of men and piles and piles of… well he didn’t know exactly what, but it didn’t look good.

“I fucking knew it!” you cheered through his earpiece. You must’ve already taken a picture during the millisecond Seungcheol had poked his head out and scanned it. “Alright, I’m calling backup.”

“What’s our cover story tonight? That I just so happened to stumble across the city’s fourth most dangerous secret lair?”

You clacked away at your keyboard. “No cover story this time. I found this guy fair and square.”

part 2 | part 3

[seattlesellie]

Can you write an ellie fic where she's getting off to photos of reader and moaning readers name and reader walks in on her

million times yes <3 ☁️🤍🐚🌫️

warnings: mdni!, masturbation, ellie’s a little bit of a weirdo, ellie gets caught.

Oops ♡

For you, being Ellie’s roommate was... hard. Unwashed dishes, the occasional sight of her boxer briefs messily laying around on the living room floor (“They fell from the laundry basket” she told), old crumpled yellow papers on the fuzzy carpet, an unwashed ashtray and a shit-ton of disorganized cards and pins adorning every single corner of the apartment.

But for for Ellie, oh, for Ellie it was even harder.

She always had a soft spot for things she’d never get. Your empty shampoo bottles never bothered her, neither did your habit of constantly forgetting to blow out the vanilla scented candles you lit once in a while, even after she told you they could be a fire hazard every. single. time.

What bothered Ellie, weren’t your complains, and neither were the repeating sounds and buzzes of your alarm clock followed by exactly eight hits on the snooze button (she counts, the walls are pretty thin).

What bothered Ellie, is that you didn’t give a single fuck about her. Or at least, that’s what she had convinced herself of.

When you’d lounge pretty on the couch, nestled within a cozy woolen blanket, your fingers tirelessly swiping and swiping and swiping through every single dating app known to man, she’d watch you intently, and stare.

It wasn’t because she was judging you, god knows she had a tinder phase herself (Amanda was her last straw. she said Ellie talked about her roommate “too much”, that she “needed to figure that shit out”, and then added a huff and a sigh followed by a “fucking lesbians, man”)

It was because she didn’t fucking get it. Could you not see what’s right in front of you? you didn't seem to... grasp the obvious. Don’t get it wrong, Ellie was not overconfident, and neither was she cocky. She just… noticed. She was observant by nature, and she knew, she was convinced shed never heard you laugh the way you do with her, with anybody else in the world. When your best friends were over for a girls night— even then, she would hear muted laughter and the occasional screech (barely audible over the backdrop of "The Smiths" blaring through her headphones) but never, ever, did that breathy, real, borderline on wheezing sound escape your mouth when you were with them. It was idly saved for her.

She’d take her earphones out— because perhaps she’d missed it, maybe she was delusional, maybe you did laugh like that— and then, plug them back in when she was met with silence or the gentle symphony of peaceful snores, and return to the solace of her music. She’d hollow in deep slumber, and have incredibly bizarre dreams of her pretty roommate roaming and floating around the apartment only in her underwear— and for some reason, a horn on her head. Dreams were fucking weird, man.

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

“The Truman Show” played on tv. Jim Carey just made a funny face, and Ellie shoved another slice of greasy, brooklyn pizza in her mouth. She chewed, loudly (you sighed) and wiped her lips on her shoulder.

“I’d literally lose it if I found out my life was a tv show” you remarked, your eyes shifting from the remaining pizza to the flickering television screen.

“Meh” Ellie shrugged.

“I’d lose it if it was a video game though. Imagine if like— someone controlled every single movement you made… scary, man”

She huffed, and threw the pizza crust on the table. It fell on the floor. These fucking ants would come again, you knew they would! you gave her a stern look.

“Sorry” she softly sighed, and bent down to pick the crust off the pavement. Her boxers poked through her sweats, you looked across the room, and then you looked again. God.

“Plug you on their PS5, and go… ham and stuff” you giggled.

“Wild shit…” she shrugged. “Wild shit”

Jim Carey’s character just met the deepest corner of its own little world.

Ellie’s eyes were glued to the screen, even though she’d seen that flick about a million times.

You scrolled through your phone mindlessly. You know she hated when you did that while watching something with her— but you did it anyways. Something about the way her eyebrows scrunched together when she peaked at the screen through the corner of her eye always made your heart flutter. She pouted, and you tried to hide the way your lips curled upwards into a small smile.

“Should I post this on insta?” you questioned, handing ellie your phone. She took it in her hands, and the brightness was so high her eyes twinkled.

She bit her bottom lip, and then her top one.

“You’re like… half naked in that” she huffed. She wasn’t wrong, the bikini was so so tiny and the salt water covering your body, making it practically glisten in the sun, didn’t help the sensual undertones of said picture.

“I know” you stated.

She looked at you, and then looked at the screen again. Don’t look too long, she thought to herself. She handed the phone back to you, and stared at the television. Great, she just missed the best part!

“Is that a no?” you quipped.

“That’s a… who are you posting that for?” she tried asking casually, and mask her jealousy with curiosity.

There must be someone. there just must. Perhaps it’s for that girl you talked to on Bumble… shit, maybe its for that blonde from work or the one with the long braids that waved to you for too long who Ellie had made her arch enemy. Or maybe it was for that fucking ex girl—

“Why would you think I’m posting it… for someone?”

Ellie sighed, and rolled her eyes.

“Cause you look good in it.”

She gulped, and moved a hair strand from her face. it itched, all of a sudden.

“Or like— you look naked or something.”

You rolled your eyes back, and yawned.

“Is that a no?” you questioned.

“No what?” she snickered.

“Is that a no i shouldn’t post?” you removed a microscopic piece of lint that landed on her hoodie, it made her shiver.

She let out a shaky breath, and toyed with the string that hung loose from her black nike socks.

“Why are you askin’ if you’re gonna post it anyways?”

You smirked. For some reason you couldn’t quite put your finger on, sometimes, conversations with her weren’t exactly easy.

“Who said i’ll post? I asked you because I needed your advice”

“Sure” she stated, and slid off the couch.

“Post it” she crossed her arms.

You nodded. post!

You already had one like. Oh, it’s that blonde girl from work. fire emoji, winky face emoji, red heart emoji. Nice!

“M’going to bed” she groaned, and shoved a tiny mushroom in her mouth.

“Ugh. gooey”

You looked up from your phone, and shut it off with a click.

“But you’ll miss the best part!” you pouted.

“Tired” she shrugged. Her face scrunched together. how is she so fucking adorable.

“M’kay… night!”

Ellie dragged her body across the dim lit living-room, and almost slipped on one of her socks.

“Mmmmight” she mumbled.

“Say it nicely!” you yelled across the room, it echoed.

“Good nightttt”

The door slammed shut. Ellie sat down on the bed, and stared at the wall. She cracked her knuckles, one by one, and threw her head back on the mattress, wrapped up by green flannel sheets. Her head landed on the pillow with a soft thud, and she took a long, deep breath. She wasn’t even tired, why did she lie?

That image just took over her brain again. She had only glimpsed it briefly, not truly absorbing its details, before reluctantly handing the device back to you. If she stared any longer— her cheeks would burn a bright pink.

The screen of her Android glowed in the darkness, so she grabbed it. Always on silent mode.

A message from Joel; “Got Maria to iron some of your clothes. remember Janet from across the street? She passed away last week, LOL (lots of love).”

Ellie scratched her eyes, chuckled, and took a screenshot. no fucking way.

A message from Dina; “can u send me some lives on candy crush?”

Followed by another one;

“send them right now or die”

So she scrolled some more.

Instagram; “dinawoodward, jessethekinggglol, courtneycameron and others liked this post!”

She tapped, and thats when her eyes popped out of her head. she suddenly felt parched. She looked around the room— that water-bottle she kept from two weeks ago after a trip to the local bodega must be around there somewhere.

It was not, so there you stood, almost half-naked, a playful smile gracing your lips, the sun-kissed sand partially covering your stomach, and the gentle touch of saltwater caressing your chest. A pair of brown sunglasses adorned your face, with the serene sea standing still in the background.

Ellie blinked once. And then once more, and then she zoomed in.

Her face twitched, and her breath hitched inside her throat. It felt as though her breath had been captured and confined, held hostage within her, struggling to find its release.

She double tapped, and began typing;

“If I could, I’d fuck the shit out of you”

She stared at her keyboard, and breathed deeply. What would happen if she, actually pressed send. Would you come barging inside her room and throw something at her? the green colored vase, maybe? or would you delete her comment, pretend it never happened and move on? perhaps you’d think she was just fucking around, and scold her for typing something like that where everyone could see. “You’re such a creep, el!” she could almost hear you say it. And she could almost feel the way your palm would slam right into her shoulder and nudge it her the side. It made her ears feel warm.

She zoomed in on your tits. Ellie’s face flushed a pretty, dusty pink.

Then, she zoomed in on your stomach, and her nipples perked up inside her hoodie. They grazed the material softly, and she let out a shaky breath.

When she zoomed in on your smile, she smirked at the screen. it made her feel warm and fuzzy and happy and she hated every minute of it. “Never gonna get it” echoed in her ears, a reminder of the "truth" tugged at her heart.

When she zoomed in on your covered cunt, she nearly went cross eyed. She could almost see the outline of your lips— or was she tripping?

Her cunt clenched around absolute nothingness inside her boxers. Was she… getting fucking wet over this?

She gulped, as waves of guilt washed over her. and then, she zoomed in on your tits again, and she felt so turned on she couldn’t even remember what the word guilt even meant.

She heard the echo of your giggle reverberating through the corridor, filling the space with a sound that made her stomach turn. the rhythm of your footsteps grew louder, gradually approaching your room situated just across from hers.

Perhaps you chuckled at something amusing one of your fucking bumble buddies had to say. She lightly bumped her forehead against the screen of her phone, her lips pressed together, forming a thin line.

Your door slammed shut, and a tune began.

“you’re so gorgeous… i cant say anything to your face, cause look at your face…”

How fucking ironic.

“Shut up alexa!” you groaned at the device, causing ellie to stifle a giggle, before she felt the pool flow down her boxers.

The apartment descended into a profound silence, save for the sound of Ellie’s labored breaths echoing in the stillness. she leaned in closer, scrutinizing the image on the screen, alternating between zooming in and zooming out, and crosser her legs together.

When the imagination of your bare tits popped up in her mind, your nipple poking through as you held them together on the screen, it ached inside of her.

Would it really be so wrong if she…?

There was no real harm in it, she thought. It was either this, or close her eyes and rub one off in the darkness, and even then— she had a nagging intuition that you would somehow find your way into her thoughts.

Woudl it really make her that much of a fucking pervert?

Ellie groaned, and brought her knees up to her stomach. Her phone was still in her hand, and that picture teased, and teased, and teased till she couldn’t handle it anymore.

Fuck it. if she did this, she was going to do it right. And she needed to see it close up— and not through her cracked fucking screen she wasn’t bothered fixing for two whole weeks now.

She opened the screen of her laptop, and when she sat on the black leather rolling chair, It felt fucking uncomfortable down there. It was sleek, and she could feel her cunt slide off on the fabric of her boxers.

“Fuuuuck me” she hissed under her breath.

www.instagram.com

Right click.

Your profile, right click. Her hand held a tremor.

You were the focal point, the star of the show, illuminating her old, black HP laptop. The screen, adorned with a thin layer of dust, caught her attention. She leaned in and blew gently, causing the particles to disperse and float away.

She swallowed hard, her throat constricting as she continued to gaze intently. Taking a deep breath, she attempted to steady herself, but the inhalation felt jagged and uneven.

She brought a veiny hand to graze the fabric of her grey colored sweats, just above her clothed cunt, and she felt so fucking relieved.

And it still wouldn’t stop fucking pulsing.

she stared at the bikini, and rubbed her finger up and down slowly, cupped her cunt forcefully, slapped it and whimpered.

“Goddamn” she huffed.

She began tracing big, deliberate circles, her touch slow and steady, causing the fabric of her boxers to cling to her wet cunt.

She had to take them off.

Swiftly, she inserted her thumbs into the edges of her boxers, right at the level of her hipbones, and pulled them down in one fluid motion. The fabric gathered messily around her ankles. She felt so fucking nasty.

Ellie spread her legs, and gasped as the cool air hit her most sensitive place. She waited for a minute, mouth agape, teasing her cunt before she touched it. She swore she could cum with just squeezing in and out while staring at your face.

However, she could not tease herself anymore when those thoughts began forming clearer and clearer.

She brought a long finger and caressed her slit slowly from her hole to her puffy little clit. "Oh fuck yes" she hissed.

It started with thinking about your tits. Her mind wandered, and her hole leaked into the leather chair, forming a small droplet to lay down on it. She breathed heavily.

The thought of you, taking off that bikini top in front of her went through her mind. Slow, deliberate process of undoing its strings, so so agonizingly slow. When they spilled out, ellie let out a high pitched moan.

“Touch them, Ellie” you whispered in her ear.

“Please touch me…” you whined.

She gasped, took two fingers, her middle and her ring, and formed tiny, slow circles on her wet clit. Ellie spread her legs wide, and placed them on the table.

It looked absolutely obscene.

In reality, Ellie was touching herself to a picture on a slightly dusty old screen. In her imagination, you stood pretty begging her for more. Your fucking whines did it for her, and she didn’t even know what they sounded like for real.

You circled your nipples, pinched them and spat a glob of saliva, letting it streamline down your tits, teasing ellie so bad she was already panting. They glistened, and ellie latched on to them, sucking and spitting and whimpering groaning.

“So good Ellie...” you moaned, holding the back of her hand and pushing her deeper.

“I want you so fucking bad”

“Holy fucking shit” she hissed, and slapped her clit. one slap! two slaps! she was desperate.

“Fuuuck yes” she whimpered, and plunged a finger inside her aching hole. It sucked her completely in, clenching around her fingers. She gasped, and slid off the chair.

She was staring at your fucking cunt with her eyes half shut. she swore she could see those fucking lips.

Now, Ellie’s mind took a turn. You laid pretty on her bed, chest heaving up and down, legs spread completely open with a pink vibrator buzzing on your clit.

“Ellie!” you moaned.

“Fuck me... please please please"

She plunged a second finger, and bucked her hips inwards and backwards. She whimpered, and a shaky breath followed by the sound of your name escaped her quivering lips.

“Need you in my pussy… p—pretty please”

She swore she could hear you say it.

Ellie pounced on her bed and savored you whole. she bit your clit, sucked on it and got her entire face wet with your juices.

“God yes” she groaned, wet, squelching sounds filling the room. She pumped them in and out, and in and out again, whilst the other hand was circling itself fast on her needy, pulsating clit. Every few seconds, she’d slap it again, open wider and wider, bucking and riding them so hard she could almost see a supernova right in front of her.

The dull ache in her pussy grew bigger and bigger.

“You need me? fucking whore” she whispered under her breath.

Thin, shiny, sticky drool flowed from the corner of her mouth, it landed on the top of her hoodie.

“Yes Ellie… please Ellie need you in my pussy” She pumped them profusely, feeling your walls take her in like she needed to. When she pumped them inside of herself— That’s what she liked to imagine. It was you, who took her in. They were your walls, your wet cunt begging and screaming for more.

She felt it coming in the pits of her stomach. It grew bigger and bigger, like a wave, or a volcano, threatening to erupt and make her cream all over her chair.

“Ellie yesyesyesyes!” you moaned.

She circled faster and faster, her perky tits bouncing up and down with every movement of her hips. The chair squeaked, but she couldn't be bother to take it slow.

“Ellie?” your voice echoed through the corridor.

“Yeah baby s— say my fucking name, fuck” she hissed, her eyes completely shut.

“Ellie?”

God, it felt so fucking real. Almost there. She bit her lip, and it drew blood.

The door collided with the wall, hitting it with a loud thud.

“Ellie?”

“N— fuNgh”

She almost screamed so loud the gods could hear. she shut her laptop off before even pulling her fingers out.

She was going to fucking faint.

Her face flushed a deep shade of crimson, intense embarrassment radiating from her form, hands trembling uncontrollably, and the expression on her face was one of sheer horror— wide eyed.

She got caught.

"What..." you uttered, your voice trailing off as you stood frozen in place, your mouth agape. Your knees threatened to give way beneath you.

You shut the door.

Ellie, her chest heaving, struggled to catch her breath.

“Oh my—“

“God”

[dark-fics-4-you]

hi queen 🤍 the way i squealed when i saw ur post PLS

ok but umm what if your tire went flat at night and dark!rafe happens to be driving by, kinda crossed after leaving a party super late but he stops and helps you…. but plans to make you pay him back one way or another right there on the side of the road even tho you thought it was just a nice stranger doing a favor…..aldfjidoendkd

dw im seeking out help rn.

it’s okay i need to seek out help for writing this the way i did. This fic alone is putting feminism back 50 years okay sorryyyyy enjoy

Equal Exchange

Warnings: noncon, smut, reader gets assaulted by a stranger, degradation, rough sex, implied drug use, misogyny, slut shaming

“Fuck!” You hissed, slapping your steering wheel in frustration before flicking your hazard lights on.

Of all the times and places for a tire to pop, of course 1AM on a back road was just your luck.

You opened your door, examining your parking job before checking out your tires. Sure enough, the right hand rear tire had a gash in it, and was now considerably less full than the others.

With a groan, you retreated to your trunk, opening it and locating your spare. However, only then did you remember lending your jack and wrench to a friend and you cursed angrily.

How could you change the tire now?

As if on cue, the back of your car lit up as another car approached. You spun around, only to be momentarily blinded by the truck’s headlights, but you could hear the large vehicle slowing to a stop.

You nervously shifted your weight from one leg to the other as you watched the door of the truck open and a tall, blond man exited and walked closer to you.

“Engine trouble?” He calmly asked, blue eyes looking down at you kindly. The scent of weed hit your nose, and although you silently judged the guy for driving while high, you weren’t one to turn down help when it found you.

“No, my tire popped. I have a spare, but I don’t have the tools to fix it,” you sheepishly explained, crossing your arms around your chest when the cool wind made you shiver.

“Lucky I was in the area then.” He said with a friendly grin. “I’ve got a jack and a whole tool kit in my truck. I’m Rafe, by the way. What’s your name?”

“Y/N. Thank you so much for the help Rafe, I really appreciate it!”

You watched as the blond got his kit and jack out, and then observed as he masterfully changed your tire. You didn’t miss the way he glanced over the stickers you had on the window there, a couple band ones and then a few feminist stickers that he stared at for just a little bit longer than you were comfortable with.

However, he was helping you out, and by the time your spare tire was on, you had almost forgotten about the way he looked at your stickers.

“Wow, I can’t thank you enough Rafe, you really saved my skin. I’m glad you were driving around here tonight when you were,” you politely smiled up at him, genuinely grateful for him coming to your aid.

“You’re welcome, Y/N.” His eyes lingered on yours but he made no movements to go back to his truck, instead taking a step towards you.

You backed up nervously, why was he coming closer to you rather than going back to his car? It was well past midnight and maybe your paranoia was getting the better of you, but you suddenly really wanted to leave.

“Well, it’s late so I better get home,” you started to turn away from him, but his hand flew out and clamped down on your wrist.

You whipped around to face him, crying out and wincing at the painful way his fingers were digging into your skin.

“What are you-?”

“You just said I saved your skin, didn’t you?” There was an icy edge in his voice, and Rafe pulled you closer to him, chin ticking as he looked down at you in disapproval. “I mean, if it weren’t for me you’d be stranded all alone out here for god knows how long.”

“I-I know, I said thank you, Rafe, now please just let me go!”

“What if I didn’t want to, hm? Are you going to make me?” He chuckled when your face dropped, enjoying watching the severity of the situation he had placed you in dawn on you.

“I mean, don’t you think you could repay me for sticking my neck out for a dumb bitch like you?” He held you in place with one hand, allowing the other to snake around your throat.

Your eyes widened and you thrashed against him when he clamped down around the tender skin, choking you hard.

With all of your power, you aimed your knee in between his legs, missing his crotch, but still catching him off guard enough to get him to release you.

You screamed as you pulled away from him, hoping that someone else might hear you and come to your rescue.

Stretching your fingers out to reach for the handle of the door, you had almost grabbed it when Rafe’s large arms encircled your waist, tearing you away from the door.

You were no match against his strength and he easily pushed you back before getting behind you and shoving you as he bent you over the hood of your car.

You yelped when your hips painfully dug into the metal in a way you were sure would leave bruises.

His large hands pawed at your clothes, and you hopelessly struggled in his arms. When he ripped your shorts and panties down in one movement, dread gripped your heart. You felt dizzy with fear.

Before you could even register the chill of the night air, Rafe roughly slammed your head against the hood of your car, holding it there and chuckling at your terror before hissing into your ear as he undid his shorts with one hand, “I’ve never understood girls like you. I mean, you have those dumbass girl power stickers all over your car but you can’t even change a tire by yourself. And I bet you learned that little move after mommy signed you up for a self defense course, huh? You can take all the classes in the world, but you never really stood a chance against me, sweetheart. I mean, you are so fucking stupid it’s actually adorable.”

His cruel words brought a burning pink tinge of shame to your cheeks, tears beginning to pool in your eyes.

When you felt the tip of his cock brush against your slit, you tried to move again to get away, but you were pinned down by his rough hold on your skull.

“Uh uh, Y/N,” your name sounded all wrong on his tongue, and the smug overfamiliarity from this stranger who was now assaulting you made your stomach turn in disgust. You froze when he pressed the head against your slit again, this time you were slick enough for him to slowly press the tip past your lips and into your warm cunt.

“You’re gonna stay still if you don’t want to get hurt,” his sick laugh barely reached your ears, as your focus was locked on the building pressure between your legs as Rafe pushed himself into you, painfully stretching you out inch by inch.

You whimpered as he sheathed himself inside you, trembling with adrenaline and fear underneath him. He was big, too big, and you clenched around him when he tilted his hips back before snapping them against your ass.

“Fuck, Y/N, I thought I wasn’t gonna get any tonight after that party turned out to be so lame but shit-” he groaned before slowly starting to push his cock in and out of your heat.

“I guess I got lucky after all,” his gruff voice sent shivers down your spine and your tears only made you feel worse. Each stroke of his length was agonizing.

You could barely adjust to the feel of his thick cock dragging along your walls, it felt like he was going to split you open. The pressure between your legs had you gasping and crying out in a confusing mixture of pain and pleasure.

“God you’re squeezing me so fucking tight,” he groaned. “I knew you’d be worth stopping for.”

Rafe was rutting into you faster now, enjoying the way you fearfully looked up at him through teary eyes as he took advantage of you.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were enjoying this, Y/N.” His taunting voice was punctuated by his sharp thrusts, each one rocking your body. “Why else would you be moaning like such a fucking slut?”

[cherryredstars]

Cherryyyy that angsty part in husband simon hcs really fucking hurt i need more😭😭😭 maybe a one shot based on it where they're fighting and she tells him how she feels also tells him about the divorce papers then both of them are so fucking heartbroken and decide to try harder to make it work simon needs to get his shit together😒

Husband!Simon Headcanons (context)

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x gn!reader

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of Divorce, Some Comfort?

Unedited

There is only so much silence a room can hold before it becomes deafening.

You and Simon sit across from each other at the table, a half-full folder of documents thrown hazardously between the two of you on the rich wood- teetering on the edge. The other half is scattered on the floor, out of order and long forgotten. Neither of you make an effort to pick them up or to rescue the manila folder. Leaving everything half in, half-out and on the verge of falling apart. Simon had made an effort to catch it when he first threw it, but quickly retracted his hands when he saw it stop just short of falling.

Maybe there is something symbolic in that. In this sad, lonely picture formed between the two of you. In a place that used to be so warm and loving, now left cold and dirtied.

You haven’t looked at Simon since he had joined you at the table, and he doesn’t seem to be looking at you too. His eyes are far off, here but gone at the same time. Like always- like the nature of his life makes him. In his mind, he recalls the moments that led up to this. Slightly fleshed out images that dance in front of his eyes like war flashbacks.

The sound of his rough steps following after you when he had confronted you with the folder- clean and pristine, sitting by itself in a drawer he never knew you used- echo in his ears. He can see the dimly lit hallway the two of you walked down as you tried to escape into the living room, only stopped when he had extended his arm and grabbed you by the wrist.

“How long have you had these?”

…

“So what, huh? You’re not going to say anything to me now?”

“And say what, Simon? What can I say to you? You’ve never listened to me before. Do you want me to beg you for something? Haven’t I done enough begging in my lifetime for you to do something?”

“…When were you planning on giving these to me?”

“I can’t give something to someone who’s never here.”

Simon doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the sob that had clawed itself through your chest, or the way you had turned so sharply away from him as you walked away. He had been frozen in his spot, helpless in trying to soothe you. His own words trapped behind muscle and denial as they screamed I’m here! I’m right here.

Now he finds himself lost, floating in a sea of dark, murky water with no land in sight. Buried under dirt with nothing to crawl out with. Trapped and panicked and suffocating. His heart craving to go home, but his mind telling him there might not be a home to go back to.

Not unless he fights for it.

You keep your gaze forward as his chair creaks. Wood worn in from time and not use. Simon walks over the pile of paper, smooth under his feet. A path, a bridge, a connection.

Simon’s torso fills your vision. Then his chest, and his neck, and his face. Then he’s gone again, out of your line of sight as he kneels before you. The weight of his head falls onto your lap, the crown of his head pressing into your lower stomach. His arms- usually heavy- are like feathers around your waist as he simply holds you. Your hand drifts to his hair, and you run your fingers through it in comfort.

“Simon.”

“Hm?”

“Your back and knees will hurt later.”

“I know.”

Your eyes drift down to him, watching the way he closes his eyes and simply breaths you in. Like he’s trying to remember and engrave something in his mind. You sigh softly, a tie between tired and fond of this large man.

“The papers are still all over the floor, Simon.”

“I’ll clean it up. I promise.”

“You promise?”

“Yes, I promise.”

“Okay, Simon. Okay. I believe you.”

You look away again, scanning the mess on the floor and the folder on the table.

“Make sure you take out the trash when you finish.”

Simon squeezes you tighter, and you ignore the way your pants are starting to collect raindrops.

“Thank you.”

[eternalmoonlight18]

Please Please Please (Don't Prove 'Em Right) Chapter 2

Trafaglar Law x afab Female!Reader

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Summary:

You are the Heart Pirates' beloved cook and sniper. However, you were also an insufferable troublemaker who always seemed to get on Law's nerves. He swears he's going to get rid of you one day, but as much as he hates it, why does he find you fascinating? Was it because you reminded him of someone he was greatly fond of?

As your relationship with Law grows, he only hopes you don't fucking embarrass him. After all, he has an image to uphold as one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea.

This story starts off as short stories between (Y/N), Law and the Heart Pirates, then picks up into the One Piece canon timeline, starting from Punk Hazard. This is a slow-burn Law x Female Reader story!

Updates every Sunday!

Cross-posted in Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57651295/chapters/146705491

Chapter 2: Soba, Warrior of the Sea

Chapter summary: Attempting to find blackmail material against your captain, you took a volume of Law's favourite comic series. The only problem is you misplaced it an hour later, and if you didn't find it, the captain was going to cut you up and throw you to the bottom of the sea.

Notes: Thank you for the love! I'm so glad y'all are loving this like I am! I'll make a taglist if more people are interested. And no, the title is not a typo and you'll find out why soon ;)

wc: 4k (hefty chapter this week!)

The Polar Tang smelt like fried eggs.

It was 7 am and Hearts Pirates were just waking up. It was a brand new day, and the crew were looking forward to seeing if they could dock on a new island. 

Ikakku made her way into the kitchen first, and she saw you cooking breakfast for the crew. You had your white jumpsuit unzipped with the sleeves tied around your waist. Your white tank top was stained with grease and was clinging to your skin due to sweat. 

She sat down facing your direction and rested her elbows on the table, with her cheek leaning on her palm. "Morning (Y/n)!" she greeted you.

You turn your head to see that Ikkaku has arrived. "Morning Ikkaku! Sorry I didn't wake you up, I knew that you wanted to help me today but you looked so peaceful sleeping," you said. 

Your crew-mate waved her hand dismissing the apology. "Don't even worry about it. I know you love being in the kitchen by yourself." She glanced at your exposed body. "Shouldn't you change and put your suit back on?" she commented.

You made an annoyed click with your mouth. "You know how annoying these jumpsuits are. I don't know why he insists that we can all do our jobs while wearing a white garbage bag as clothes. I don't care if he sees me like this and gets mad, I can't cook with this shit on." you complained. 

The girl behind you giggled, "Get mad? It's more like ogle your almost half-naked body. You know the captain has somewhat of a soft spot for you."

You scoffed. "Captain? We're talking about the guy who sliced me when he found that I put flour and bread in his rice balls?" 

"If anyone else did that, they would get thrown out of this sub." Ikkaku defended.

"Oh please. You know the captain is an emotionally constipated man who doesn't take a second glance at anyone."

"You'd be surprised our dear cook. I've seen Captain stare at you last month." Shachi interrupted as he walked into the kitchen with Penguin. 

"Shachi, that was because he was going to decapitate (Y/n) for smacking a loaf of bread on his head," Penguin corrected him.

"Oh..." he muttered.

You threw your head back in laughter as you remembered how you accidentally smacked the captain with a bagged loaf of bread because he was somehow caught in between the crossfire of you and Shachi arguing about stolen food portions. That day was the first time your head was separated from your body. 

The three crew-mates sitting at the dining table noticed how your cheeks flushed a light pink. They all grinned maniacally. 

"Were you thinking of the captain?" Penguin singsonged. 

You rolled your eyes as you placed a batch of fried eggs on a plate. "You know I don't have feelings for the captain like that."

"Aww, that's not true," Ikkaku whined. 

You continued to batter up a batch of pancakes and poured it into the hot pan in front of you. "Well, I can't lie the captain is good-looking. But I don't just fall in love with someone based on looks you guys, I would want to get to know the person before I would think about committing to a relationship," you explained as you flipped the pancake.

Shachi suddenly straightened his back in a sudden realization. "So you do admit that you find our awesome captain handsome! Why don't you try getting closer to him?" he asked.

You grabbed the plate of eggs from the counter and walked up towards your hungry crew-mates to place it on the table.

"I think the captain would rather eat bread than to get to know me. Besides, I know that he finds me insufferable, but that's because he doesn't know how to have fun. Now, who wants my special fried eggs?" 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was 10 am, and you just finished cleaning the kitchen and making the crew's lunch. You proudly put your hands on your hips as you scanned the area. You were a proud cook and proud of what you did. Your heart swelled in appreciation that you could use your talents and that your talents were well appreciated within the crew.

Unlike your 3 shitty brothers who always just shoved food down their throats without care. But that wasn't important.

You glanced at Bepo, the captain's favourite crew-mate (your assumption), finishing wiping the dishes clean. The Mink was always around the captain, so often that you swore that they were probably shower buddies. A mental image of Law and Bepo bathing together popped into your head. You stiffened a laugh. 

"(Y/n)-san, Captain wanted to request grilled fish and rice for dinner," Bepo said, interrupting your daydream.

You exhaustedly sighed. "Again? This is the third time we had that this week, I swear that my breath permanently smells like fish now."

The Mink turned around to you and lowered his head. "Sorry..."

You gave a halfhearted smile to your crew-mate. "Never mind that I can never get mad at you Bepo, you're one of the few people who help me around the kitchen. Tell the captain that if he wants his favourite dish he needs to come up and ask me personally instead of using you as a communicator."

Bepo profusely nodded. "I'll tell him right away."

As Bepo was going to leave, you stopped him. "Wait," you called up to him. The Bear stopped in his tracks. 

You put your hand on your chin and started to think. "I don't want to make that fucking grilled fish and rice dish again. What if I know something about the captain and I can use it to hold against him? That way I can never make those dishes ever again." 

Once your idea formed in your head you started to grin evilly and rubbed your hands together like a madman.

Bepo, seeing this unfold in front of him, started to get nervous. "Uh, (Y/n)-san? What are you doing? Why did you stop me?" he asked. 

You whipped your head up to face Bepo and walked up in front of him. Putting your hand on the side of your mouth like you were telling a secret, you started to ask, "You're pretty close to the captain right?"

Bepo flinched. "Uhm, yes?"

"And you know a lot about him right? Like his deepest and darkest secrets?"

"Well, I guess so?"

"So, if you tell me something about him, something that he doesn't want anyone to know, you'd tell me in exchange for, let's say, my special sushi recipe?"

Bepo started sweating and you smirked. You knew the Mink bear loved your special sushi recipe, and you knew he could not resist.

"(Y/n)-san... I can't betray the captain like that." he said. The poor bear sounded like he was trying to convince himself not to give in to your temptation.

"Oh? Well, that's too bad, I was going to also make Soba for tonight too, what a shame," you said with fake sadness.

Bepo started to whimper. If there was one thing he didn't play about, it was Soba.

The Mink started to whip his head left and right to see if anyone was listening in to the conversation. Then he leaned down to your level.

"Oh alright, but PLEASE don't tell the captain about this!" he harshly whispered.

You grinned as you crossed your heart. "The information is safe with me."

Bepo hesitated, then he quickly confessed, "The captain is a huge fan of the comic series Sora, Warrior of the Sea! He has a huge collection hidden in his library of books."

You leaned back in surprise, with your smile widening into a perplexed grin. "Our feared captain is a NERD?!"

Bepo frantically waved his paws at you. "(Y/n)-san! Please you're being too loud!" he begged.

You burst out laughing, bending frontwards while your hands were clutching your stomach. Oh, the information that you just obtained was your One Piece! You never expect your stoic and boring captain to be a huge fan of a children's comic series. And he collected the comics too? This was just what you needed to blackmail Law.

You quickly collected yourself from laughing too hard. "Good doing business with you Bepo, you can expect a very good dinner tonight." You said. You winked at him and hurriedly walked out of the kitchen.

"Oh man, what did I do..." he mumbled. 

Meanwhile, you were scouring around the Polar Tang to find Law's collection of books. While walking in the corridors of the submarine, you encountered Jean Bart.

"Hey, Jean! Where are you heading to?" you asked the big man.

Jean rubbed the back of his neck. "Hey (Y/n)! I'm heading to the infirmary for my annual checkup with the captain."

The statement gave you a green light. You were going to head to the captain's room to get your hands on those comics no matter what. It may be a big risk but if it means that you wouldn't have to grill fish ever again, so be it.

"Good to know! I'm just heading back to my room, I've been doing a lot of cooking today." You said it as an alibi. 

You started to walk past the man. Jean's head followed your direction. He looked confused. "But your shared room is the opposite way...?" he said, watching your form walk further away. 

You didn't hear the man. You were hyper-focused on sneaking into the captain's room while he was busy with medical examinations.

Eventually, you came across a double door. There was a sign on the left door that read Trafalgar Law. This must be it.

You slowly grabbed the handle of the right door and twisted it. Pushing the door open you slowly walked into the captain's quarters. It was clean and neat as you expected it to be. The captain was a clean freak, the complete opposite of what you dealt with in the kitchen. On the right of the room was a queen bed, with a nightstand on its left side. There was a decent-sized desk perpendicular to the doors which were filled with scattered papers. To the right of the desk was a tall bookshelf filled with all kinds of books.

Bingo.

You stepped into the room and closed the door quietly behind your back. You hurriedly walked to the bookshelf and started scanning through from top to bottom.

"Archives of Medical Plants... Grand List of Diseases... Mink Autonomy... North Blue Medical Association, dang nothing but medical books," you muttered as you looked through the bookshelf.

Unable to find anything on the bookshelf, you looked around the desk. You opened the drawers hoping to find some comics but found your bounty poster instead.

"Weird, why does he have my poster in there? It doesn't look like he has the rest of the crew's posters." you thought.

You put your hands on your hips and huffed in frustration. "If I were Trafalgar Law, where would I put my precious comic books?" you thought again. 

Your eyes soon landed on the nightstand, and a lightbulb went off on your head. 

You hurriedly scampered to the nightstand. You immediately opened the bottom drawer and found your One Piece.

In the drawer were 12 volumes of Sora, Warrior of the Sea. You carefully picked up the first volume. It was in pristine condition. You noticed it was covered with a plastic sleeve and you chuckled.

"Oh captain I never thought you would be a nerd. This is so good," you said giddily. 

You quickly took the first volume and placed it under your tank top at your back. Then you quickly put on the sleeves of your jumpsuit and zipped it up. You promptly got up and then quickly left the bedroom, quietly closing the door behind your back. You sighed in relief and took in a deep breath until someone spoke up on your left, "Why were you in the captain's room?"

"GAHHHH!!" you screamed. You whipped your head to your left, only to see Penguin leaning up against the wall with a grin.

"Is captain also in there too?" he inquired.

You grabbed onto the man's collar and pushed him against the wall. "Are you crazy? Don't scare me like that! And no, the captain is in the infirmary right now with Jean!" you whispered harshly.

Penguin raised his hands in defeat. "All right all right. But what were you doing in there?"

You released him and took a step back. "Well since you're here, I found the captain's deepest darkest secret," you said grinning. 

He gasped and put his hands on his mouth. "You found out about Corazon?!"

You tilted your head to the left. "Cora-who?"

Penguin laughed nervously. "Oh, that, uh never mind."

You huffed, dismissing what the man just said. "I found out that captain is a huge nerd! I have his copy of Sora, Warrior of the Sea hidden on me right now." you snickered.

Penguin looked like he was going to faint. Then you saw him morph into the angriest you had ever seen him, "WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT?!" he screamed. 

You flinched and his sudden outburst. "Whoa now, it's just blackmail material."

"The captain does not play about touching his comic books!"

You squinted. "Wait...you knew about this?"

The man made a raspberry noise "Of course I did. Bepo, Shachi and I grew up with the captain."

"Ah, that makes sense."

Now Penguin squinted. "Wait a minute, who told you about Captain's collection?"

You nervously laughed. "Ah, Bepo told me."

He groaned. "That fucking bear can't keep his mouth shut," he mumbled.

You dismissively waved your hand. "Never mind him. I bribed him. Now, I know you want to take a peak of this comic with me, don't you Penguin?" you asked. 

He scratched the back of his neck. "Well, it won't hurt just to read a bit."

"Great!" you said as you clapped your hands. "Let's head to the kitchen to read!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was now 4 pm and you just finished preparing dinner. You and Penguin delightfully indulged in the first volume of Sora, Warrior of the Sea. As much as you wanted to continue making fun of the captain for liking a kid's comic series, you found yourself enjoying it as well. But, you reminded yourself that the reason why you took the comic book was to blackmail your captain into never suggesting rice and grilled fish ever again. So you placed it in your shared room with Ikkaku. 

You cleaned up the remaining dishes and placed them next to the sink. You made your special sushi and Soba, as per Bepo's request. You hurriedly walked out of the kitchen to go to your room, eager to read the rest of the comic before using it for blackmail.

However, when you entered your shared room and checked your bed, where you hid the book under your covers, you couldn't find it. You started to panic and started throwing your stuff around to find it. You knew Ikkaku wouldn't have taken it, she was in the boiler room all day so she wouldn't have entered the room at all. 

"Fuck! It was just here! Where did it go?!" you spluttered. 

You started to check your desk until you heard a knock on the door. 

"One moment!" you called out.

The knock came in again, but this time someone spoke. "It's me (Y/n)-ya. Can I speak to you?" 

Your blood ran cold. This was the worst timing ever, and now you were going to die today because of it. 

You sped walked to the door and opened it and saw your captain standing at the door. He was wearing his usual black coat, but this time he wasn't donning his signature hat.

You laughed out of nervousness. "H-hey captain! How can I help you?" you asked.

The raven-haired man raised his eyebrows as he noticed your nervousness. "Is something the matter (Y/n)-ya? Are you unwell?" he inquisitively asked. 

You waved your hand. "Nooo, I'm all okay captain. Why did you come to see me?" you said trying to change the subject.

Law wasn't convinced by your statement but continued anyway. "Bepo told me to come to you directly for food suggestions." He was struggling to meet your eyes. "Well, you told him to tell you and you're right. I should be approaching you personally for things that I request. It isn't fair to dismiss you when you're one of our important crew members." he continued. It seemed like he was trying to apologize. However, that was the least of your worries because you had a lost comic book to find and if you didn't find it soon you were good as dead.

You let out a forced laugh. "Oh it's nothing, captain, no problem, I'll make your fish and rice tonight, let me just head to the kitchen to make it right now!"

You attempted to walk past the doctor but he gently pushed you back in the room and entered with you. He promptly closed the door behind him and took a step towards you, leaning close to your face.

"(Y/n)-ya, you're hiding something aren't you?" he said, staring into you with a strange gleam in his eyes. 

The air suddenly felt hot and you started sweating profusely. You looked off to the side and pursued your lips together. "I don't know what you're talking about captain."

The man's face fell into a frown. "You're a terrible liar (Y/n)-ya. You can't keep a straight face."

Your face turned red in embarrassment. Then suddenly, Law used his Devil Fruit powers to materialize the comic book into his hands. You felt like you were going to pass out.

"Oh, so you have no idea how this ended up in your room?" he said mockingly.

"H-how did you, I-i-" you stuttered in shock. Then you suddenly remember again why you took it in the first place. 

"HA! I took it because I found out that you're a huge nerd! You're a huge fan of Soba, Warrior of the Sea! I will tell everyone in this submarine that you like children's comics if you continue to ask me to make your wretched rice and grilled fish again!" you said proudly. You put your hands on your hips and glared at Law, thinking that the blackmail worked.

There was a pregnant pause. But then Law did unspeakable. For the first time, he burst out laughing. 

The captain was genuinely laughing. A smile adorned his face, with his eyes crinkling up in a crescent shape. This was a big shock to you because you were never met with laughter when it came to Law, only scowls, yelling and threats of violence.

But for some reason, your heart gently fluttered at the sight. To see the captain in such a new light was... interesting to say the least. 

The captain collected his breath and then started to talk. "First of all, who's Soba?"

"Tonight's dinner menu," you answered with no hesitation.

The man sighed, "No, you said Soba the Great Warrior of the Sea, but it's Sora." he corrected you. 

"Oh fuck." you thought. "My hungry ass was thinking thinking about soba."

"Second of all," the doctor continued, "why do you have my book?"

You were pissed off. Did he not realize that you just tried to blackmail him? "Captain, you do realize that I was trying to blackmail you right?"

Law smirked. "Is that so? Well, it's not blackmail if everyone here knows about it," he said.

You swear your brain stopped working. This whole time your plan failed because everyone but you knew that the captain was into superhero comics. You were about to feed the crew shitty food for the entire week.

Noticing that you weren't responding, the man continued to speak. "Also, Penguin told me that you enjoyed reading through it."

You gritted your teeth. "That fucking snitch, I can never tell him anything!" you muttered.

Law chuckled. "Don't worry, I blackmailed him into telling me what happened. I felt that something happening on my submarine."

So everyone's blackmail worked but yours huh? It's like the gods wanted to see you fail.

Law suddenly put down the comic book and dropped it on your bed. Then the doctor suddenly put his tattooed hand behind your neck and pulled you forward so that his mouth was next to your left ear. His cheek was leaning up against yours and you felt yourself blush and heat up from the contact.

"Why are you so adamant on pushing my buttons (Y/n)-ya?" he whispered in your ear.

You felt his goatee scrape against the bottom side of your cheek and you felt your cheeks heat up even more.

"I-I was just-" you stuttered.

"Do you want to get thoroughly punished? It's like you're asking me to punish you." he interrupted. You felt his hot breath in your ear and you swore that you were going to pass out then and there.

The doctor let go of your neck to place both hands on your shoulders and took a look at you. You couldn't tell if he was angry or not. His eyes showed a different look that you were unfamiliar with. It was like he wanted to devour you and throw you out at the same time. The man started shaking from anger for a brief moment, then he stopped and sighed in defeat.

"Your punishment is to read all 12 volumes of Sora with me," he said, finally breaking the silence.

You blankly stared at your captain. You expected that you were going to be kicked out of the crew. But a comic book club with the captain? that was new. "You want me to what?"

"I'm not repeating myself (Y/n)-ya. Since you wanted my books so bad, you will read it with me and talk about it with me," he ordered.

You started to smile out of confusion. "Hey...you just want to talk about Sora with someone don't you?" you questioned him in a teasing tone. 

Law started to scowl as his ears started to turn red. "This isn't about me, I am punishing you for your ridiculous behaviour again," he growled. 

You shook your head and laughed. You brushed off the man's hands on your shoulders and started to walk out of the room. "You're so cute, captain. Fine, for once I agree to do your punishment only because I think it's interesting. Come on now, dinner is going to start soon and I still have to make your disgusting rice and grilled fish meal."

"I AM NOT CUTE!" you heard the tattooed doctor shout behind your back. You didn't see it but his ears turned even more red because of your compliment. Nonetheless, the man started to follow you out of the room. 

But as soon as you opened the door, you were greeted by Ikkaku standing right in front of you. Her eyes were popping out of her head as she saw both you and the captain in the room. She started giggling, as she put both of her hands on her mouth. "Oh my god."

You rolled your eyes and the captain walked passed you your fellow female crew-mate. "I was just questioning (Y/n)-ya, nothing to get worked up over with." he coolly said as he walked down the hall of the submarine.

"Girl, what happened in there?" she asked giddily.

You side-eyed the girl as you started to walk past her as well. “I tried blackmailing the captain but it didn't work.”

Ikkaku frowned and started to follow you. "Come on, what really happened?" she questioned. But you ignored her words as you started to journey into the kitchen. 

You giggled as you walked down the hall. For some reason, Shachi's words replayed in your head.

"Why don't you try getting closer to him?"

A small started to form on your lips. It didn't seem like a bad idea at all.

[modelbus]

why do requests when I can post the most random things in existence?

Pairing: CEO!Simon Ghost Riley x Gn!Reader

Workplace Hazards

"I'm resigning."

The jerk of a head, and dark eyes meet your light ones. 

There should be books written on the way those dark eyes narrow at you, daring you to contradict his next words. Knowing you will. But nobody else understands these patterns, these games, quite the same way you do.

You suppose that makes you the would-be author of the books.

"No you aren't." His voice is solid, leaving no room for arguing.

You find room anyways.

"Yes, I am."

I'm the absence of an immediate response, your eyes dip to his desk. You walked into this office with one plan in mind, and you’ll be damned if it's ruined because he's easy on the eyes.

His wooden desk, as usual, is neatly organized. A stack of perfectly crisp papers sit under an elegant pen, right next to the keyboard connected to his computer. Your eyes carefully avoid looking at the placard sat on his desk.

You knows what it says anyways. The same thing is on his door that you barged through just minutes before.

Simon Riley - CEO

Finally, your eyes flick back to him.

"And why the fuck,” he says, voice carefully measured, "would that be?"

"You know why."

Simon’s—Mr. Riley’s—jaw clenches, a muscle ticking. 

When you were hired into this office, nearly everyone had warned you that this very man was, simply put, an asshole. And he was. 

He yelled at workers, he refused to budge. There were days where his glare was so strong you were terrified that standing in his sight for too long would kill you.

But it didn't. Not when his eyes softened, not when his voice became gentler than you ever knew possible.

"Humor me." It's a demand more so than a request from him.

You sigh. “Just let me resign. Let me quit."

"Why the hell would I do that?"

You have to swallow to stop yourself from repeating your earlier response. He knows why. You both know it better than the backs of your own hands. 

Simon raises an eyebrow, motioning for you to speak with a pissed expression. You don’t.

He runs a slow and deliberate hand through the carefully messy blond hair on top of his head, making you glance away. This felt like a slap in the face to you, to everything you were trying to do.

"I'm not letting you resign." Simon says slowly. “You’re not resigning.”

"I'm not asking you to let me." You immediately respond.

It's his turn to look away this time. Almost instinctively your eyes fall down to the slope of his neck, past the scars, further to the silver chain necklace.

Your lips, pressed to the soft skin of his neck. He was all you could taste, all you could smell. He was going to kill you, just like this. Suffocate you with everything he was.

If his hands didn't get you first, that was.

"If this is over the other night, I can assure you-"

"It's not." You say stiffly. "Well, not entirely."

The other night, when every last wall between you two came down.

Simon Riley was an enigma at best, and the world's biggest dickhead at worst. To everyone that wasn't you, that is.

Because somewhere along turning in reports and weekly check-ins, something shifted. Something that turned into walks home, idle chats, you knowing his childhood friends called him Ghost.

True surprise flashes over his face before it's gone again. Faintly, you wonder if anyone else would've caught that emotion. Another part of you mourns the idea that someday, someone else will.

"Then what is this about?" 

You take a deep breath. "The rumors."

"The... rumors?" He repeats, an edge of confusion overriding the control.

For a second, you pause, realizing your mistake. Of course he didn't listen to the office rumors. Idle gossip around here would never be his style, no matter what happened.

He didn't know the rumor going around.

"What rumors?" He repeats, and something's shifted in his voice now. Panic. He's panicking. Simon Riley never panics.

Simon pushes himself halfway to his feet before you manage to find your words again.

"The entire office thinks I'm sleeping with you for a promotion."

He collapses back down into his chair.

You’re left to stand, wondering if this is what the wreckage of a car crash looks like. Maybe it'd be easier if it was a real wreck. Not... this. Not whatever's been going on between you and him.

It's will-you and won't-he, a vice-like grip on your heart that you just can't seem to shake. It's the memory of his laugh, low and smooth, the first time you made him laugh. It's his goddamn lips against yours.

You think you might kneel over dead in his office.

"Ah." He says, missing his usual eloquence. "They're just rumors."

"Partly true rumors."

You meet his eyes, daring him to deny it. He doesn't.

From the second his hand landed on your waist that night, you both knew you were too fragile to forget what was going to happen. Going back was never an option.

"But the others don't know that. Just fucking ignore them."

You shake your head. "You don't get it. These rumors may not touch you, but for me—"

"If anyone's giving you shit over them, tell me." He's quick to speak, pure anger in his voice. He's pissed at the very idea. 

"You can't change 7.8 billion people, Si- Mr. Riley."

"Don't do that." Before you can even ask him to elaborate, he stands. "Don't step back like that, don't reduce me to Mr. Riley again."

This time, you have to fully turn away. How are you meant to quit him like this?

"The rumors can and will ruin my career." You tell the photos on the walls. They're of places, not people. Simon Riley doesn't do photos of people.

"No they won't."

"I've been working my ass off to show people that I've earned everything I've gotten. I'm not going to throw that away on- on-"

"On me."

You wish you didn't know him well enough to detect the undercurrent of hope. You wish a lot of things that can never happen. 

You wish you couldn't hear his footsteps rounding the desk. His presence behind you is like a force of nature, a gravitational pull you can't get rid of for the life of you.

"You promised you wouldn't run away from me."

It was a stupid promise to make to him. 

"My job comes first and you know it. It's the same way with you."

"At least give me the dignity of looking at me." His hand lands on your arm, tugging you around to see him. "I'll get HR off your back, so stop trying to quit."

"It's not HR!" You exclaim, frustration overtaking you. 

"Don't lie and tell me you suddenly give a damn what the others think." He glowers at you, eyebrows lowering as a frown tugs at his mouth. You frown right back at him.

"I do when it's my job on the line."

"Bullshit. They-" he makes a motion to his door, "-don't decide shit here. I do. And I'm not going to let you go."

"Actually, I decide what I do with my life, which is why I'm resigning." 

His expression drops, falling from anger straight into despair before he fixes it. Your heart leaps into your throat.

Simon still has his hand on your arm, and you’re all too aware of that. Every point of contact you have right now prickles with electricity.

"You're throwing away your job. This is the stupidest move I've ever seen you make, and you've done a lot of stupid shit."

"Actually," the words are flowing out of your mouth before you can stop them, "I think the stupidest move I've made was kissing you."

His hand drops from your arm like he's burned, like your words struck him as a physical blow. You regret them immediately, but it's too late.

"Simon, wait—"

"No." He shakes his hand, steps back, adjusts his tie. "If you regret it so much, you should've stopped a long time ago."

You stare helplessly up at him. "I know." You murmur. “I know."

After a long moment you clear your throat, holding out a pink paper. "My letter of resignation."

He takes it, glancing over it. 

For just a moment, you think he'll actually let you go. Let you walk away from him and this company like nothing ever happened between you two. Like you didn't see him and love everything he gave you.

And then he rips it in half, crumbles it, and tosses it out the window.

"Get back to work." He says roughly, turning away and walking the few steps back to his desk.

"I'll print another." You threaten uselessly.

"And I'll rip up another." He raises his eyebrows at you.

"I'll send twenty to your house."

"You show up at my house, darlin’."

You could kill him. Right now, with your bare hands, you’re so tempted to lunge.

This is dangerous.

This is what led you to the other night, the addictive rush they found existed between you two. You should step back. Try again later, maybe call a workers union or something.

But you won't, and he knows that better than anyone else.

"Why are you like this?" You exclaim. The cocky cover he hid under was infuriating.

Simon Riley was like a goddamn sink hole someone tried to cover up. You break through the first layer of assholeness to find another layer of cockiness.

And when you break through that one, there's nothing to stop you from falling.

"Why are you so insistent on making a stupid decision?" He snaps back. "We fucked. The office thinks they know. So what?"

"So it'll ruin me!"

"And it won't ruin me?" 

You scoff, rolling your eyes. your arms cross over your chest at the pure nerve has to say that.

"Please. You're the CEO, your job is—"

"I'm not talking about my job."

Your breath catches, and you’re suddenly aware of how hard you’re both breathing. Simon takes a rugged breath in, eyes on you.

"What do I have to do to get you to stay?"

You could have anything and everything. You know that if you asked in this moment, he'd offer everything.

It's power you never wanted.

His connections could get you meeting celebrities, and as the CEO he could promote you to places you never thought you’d get. His offer of bribery was too good for a person to pass up, even with the current rumor. 

But...

His eyes, normally so reserved, are soft. If eyes were truly windows to the soul, his windows were wide open.

"This isn't because I'm the CEO, right?" He murmurs into your hair, breath warm. 

"No. Not this."

You swallow, and shakes your head. "Nothing."

"Don't let this rumor ruin this."

"Ruin what?"

You tilt your head up, eyes locking onto his. You need this response more than you’ve ever needed anything before.

Because you woke up and left him. 

You didn't talk about what happened between you two. Not when you saw each other in the office, not when you sent him a cat meme and he sent you a dog meme. This thing between you didn't have a name, and you were shriveling up.

You watch him swallow, suddenly put on the spot to define what you are. 

And he can't.

So you turn away, moving to leave his office. What's the point of listening to him if he doesn't even know why you shouldn't leave? 

Simon moves quicker than you though, placing himself between you and his office door. 

"Si—"

"I want to take you to dinner." He says, and you stop talking. "I want you to get dressed up nice just for me, and I want to go on a date. On a thousand dates. And I want to kiss you during every one, take you home, and wake up next to you. I’m not built for it, love, but I fucking want it.”

More. 

He wants to be more.

He takes a step closer to you, and you don’t even try to move or step back.

"I'm the CEO." He breathes, tilting your chin up. "I get everything I want, except you, and it's driving me so fucking crazy."

How are you meant to respond to that? Is there even a response yoj can give? 

There's raw emotion in his voice, his touch. For someone who you’ve seen yell at coworkers with no remorse, he's only been painfully gentle to you. 

So you do the only thing you can: you wrap his tie in your hand and tug him closer, crashing your lips onto his.

He presses you into him with a hand on the small of your back, greedily taking everything you’re giving him. After a moment he pulls back slightly, eyes searching yours.

"Don't kiss me like this is goodbye, love."

"Isn't it?"

"Fuck no." He says fiercely. "I'll tell the office, the entire goddamn world, that we're together and to leave you the fuck alone."

"They'll think I'm only where I am because I'm dating the boss."

"Are you happy?" He asks abruptly. 

"I- what?"

"Are you happy?"

After a moment, you dip your head slightly in a nod.

"Then why do you give a fuck what they think?"

Before you can respond with some logical response, he kisses you and all thoughts fly from your head. Your grip tightens on his tie, and he grins into the kiss slightly.

"So?" He questions.

"...I withdraw my letter of resignation." You sigh after a beat.

"There we go."