#this legit inspired sick boy LMAO

[sharonisthebettercarter]

comics inspired butchlander ideas<3

so.

guess who got inspired~<3 after readin' that loveable trainwreck known as the boys~<3<3<3

it's the original verse that started all the bullshit and definitely worth the read and messages being discussed and it's definitely not any worse or even as bad as the show is 'edge'wise (def got surpassed there!). plus it really does feel like its own secret playbook/au for the show with some unique insight on the characters and story lmao<3 may also do a bit of concept breakdown idk

heads up! long long post ahead butt~ i'll split this into segments with some bold and <3<3<3 highlighting each idea<3

butt~ full disclosure~<3...

they abso-fuckin'-lutely~ confirm billy butcher as the biggest fuckin' bottom of the entire series<3<3<3 the bratty bossy baby type (with a soft boi side~!) who even is THE GUY who confirms homelander's canonically huge dong~<3! and even just spiritually, I CANNOT<3<3<3 (if i don't fuckin' count the lovely show boi un-fuckin'-ironically calling himself an alpha male and how gotdamn CUTE that motherfucker who plays him is. FUCKING MAN PUPPY with them big ass wide pretty eyes and adorable nose and perfect second trimester belly when he gains just a little bit of chub<3<3<3)

i don't much imagine the actors/actresses *directly* anyhow when i write/read (kinda some features i may like do stay, but i do LOVE to play with them sometimes, some comic features generally tend to stick (namely muscle cause i need it), and moar often am picturing some kind of 3d/actor/comic amalgamation in wolf among us (game) style cause i'm weird i guess) who knows, maybe i might pick up a pen and actually draw what's in my head for once even tho its been goddamn years--

and boi oh fuckin' boi did these things gimme some fantastic au ideas, combined and separate cause why the fuck not~<3 we can always do BOTH (as i normally do anyway lol) ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

anywho~<3

visceral reactions to being bad for homie<3<3<3

listen.

so this shit was an INSTANT creative boner for me y'all that i CANNOT for the life of me figure out why people wouldn't wanna further explore this! like holy fuck, i know how much bad~<3 homie is dearly loved, but what about fix-its and GOOD~<3 homie (no i do not mean superman but we're gonna dive a bit into that lore), or. OR. get this... homie who is good but for the WRONG reasons~<3<3<3 ;)))))))))))))))))))

like~ wanting to genuinely be the best fucking hero out of 'vindictive personal glory and pettiness'~<3<3<3 or simply because he literally 'cannot be bad' without reacting!<3<3<3

for a breakdown, in the comics, homie is gaslit into oblivion into thinking he is and then being bad (sort of an 'i think, therefore i am' evolving into 'i can, therefore i must' complex) and there's pretty much a build up to reveal he was never actually the 'villain' he was painted as from the start. (spoiler alert, butcher is much fucking worse) part of that includes him having visceral reactions to doing truly evil things he full well knows are legit evil

whether a mental breakdown, some mirror~ talk, or even him actually throwing up, the boi legit had a bodily *rejection* to evil and i just...

i couldn't help thinkin', well what if he *knew* it wasn't him because of this reaction, and he couldn't be gaslit... opens up a new can o worms, don't it~<3

just imagine the chaos to be had with this poor boi having to lose his goddamn lunch everytime he either does a bad mission for vought or is just fuckin' mean or lies to someone<3 it'd be fucking GLORIOUS<3!

imagine~<3 butcher getting 'infected' with homelander's peculiar 'affliction' thinking he's caught that 'raging case a vagina' only for it to turn out to be a 'raging case a morning sickness' for poor billy boo~<3<3<3

but beyond that, there are a couple lines that play in my head for his interactions with butcher and how he could take being accused given his... well, alibi lmao! things like~

"why don't you like me? everyone likes me."

"no, i think i'll just... continue to do the right thing. i love how much it grates you when people have a legitimate reason to adore me and especially when they cheer for me."

and my personal favorite~<3

"i'm the real hero. die mad about it."

because who doesn't love a sassy fine boi~<3<3<3!!

anywho~, this actually leads into the next bit which was actually an idea i had learning about the comics even before reading them. i have seen it played with somewhat?? though not really quite like this or in this capacity. BUTT~<3

detective husbands<3<3<3

or not quite there but getting there lol. this one definitely requires a key plot point from the comic in which homie was framed for what happened to becky (and others), but can still be combined with show elements or relate back to the show. the difference being that he is fully aware that he didn't do it and wants to find out, even help butcher know, who done it...

clone games are of course an option there, but i'm actually surprised that no one's thought about using doppleganger as the rapist. we know he can morph into anyone and is already an undercover rapist for vought's blackmailing, it's really not all that far fetched to consider he might end up taking certain 'looks' for joy rides and doing awful things to scared people. i for one think doppleganger is actually a great character for exploration and story twists, butt i digress

basically, this idea hinges on homelander *not* being the true culprit and offering to help~<3 it can also absolutely be combined with the last one<3<3 and even moar~<3<3<3

but mostly, i do love me that delectable idea of these two motherfuckers working together to figure out the truth~<3 and homie being the BEST worst soldier that butcher could ever possibly ask for. technically, homie can still be a huge dumpster fire for this as long as he didn't commit *this* specific crime, even different levels of trash fire, or clean as a whistle~<3

maybe with a dropped quote from marcus aurelius~<3 to help things along--"punish only he who has committed the crime."

so long as butcher finds him useful (OH--), homie's pretty much a shoo-in for the group shenanigans, he could be another vas but stronger~<3<3<3

aaaaaand~ since i mentioned it

clone games and shadow homie<3<3<3

clones are an obvious oldie, but a goodie i think. i also think they give lots of different people mixed feelings. it can for sure feel corny and overplayed (especially in the comics genre which lmao, let's be honest is a fuckin' cornfest in general), but can also be pretty cool and interesting, even thought provoking when done well.

side note~ i do think it was done well in the comic, if you go in knowing what to expect (and i honestly expected worse), you see the signs and build up even from very early in the comics. (also billy wut the fuck you stupid stupid entrapping clone accomplice cunt, how the fuck could you not be the slightest bit suspicious when a mountain of clearly very STAGED photos falls into your lap?? oh that's right motherfucker, ya don't actually care whether people are guilty or not as long as they're supes--)

but the abruptness in the way it changes the dynamic and understanding in what's actually occurred can give whiplash. it makes you realize just how tragic homelander's situation really is and then fully robs you of any enjoyment of his death because it is just that fucked up. start to end, you realize he never had a life of his own... and that's... that fuckin' hits. HARD.

in addition to unveiling that the story has been following its biggest villain the whole time, the themes are flipped entirely on its head, suddenly the *people* who were villainized and getting taken down are the ones who need saving and ooooooh... it fuckin' hurts, but it is VERY well done. especially when you realize that the story LAID THIS OUT from the very beginning~!

ugh, enough of that concept breakdown lmao.

basically clones are gonna be hit or miss for lots a folks, tho i do think it stems more from misunderstanding/bad stories and post hoc association, granted it can be an easy concept to fuck up (but also make flourish)

butt~ what about fanfic~<3?

OH. i see the opportunity~<3 and i am once again so disappoint no one else is gettin' creative! obviously, this one does hinge a bit more on the comic, but it can connect~<3 (can't do both~?;)))))))

the clone is.... well, there's a small part of me (micro~) that i must admit does feel kinda bad for him. in the same way i feel bad for the joker. in which this motherfucker is literally, legitimately, completely fucking insane?? and it's well... it's *difficult* to plainly judge a very broken mind as you would a 'normie'. (stiiiiiiil fuckin' hate 'em)

and in a way, i get it. to be *made* for one fucking purpose and then denied fulfilling it puts a mind in a fucked up place. he actually sorta mirrored homelander. both created for purpose, but while one was expected to meet a standard he was *not* prepared for, the other *was* prepared for his standard, and then denied the chance to meet it.

and there's a lot that can be explored there just between homie and the clone. especially if the clone *tells* him early on. ;) twin bros is also technically an option which i'll get to with shadowlander~<3 (which is not *quite* a twin)

butt. when it comes to clones, something that does often get explored is rapid deterioration of them or them coming out 'wrong' from damaged DNA. there's a whole somethin' there to be explored with an OG homie and a deteriorating clone or possibly more than one clone, cause why not? in the comics, his clone was an 'upgrade', but what if he hadn't been? better yet, what if they failed multiple times? what if the mental breakdown and subsequent framing of homie was the result of the physical and mental deterioration?

the deterioration itself could have even been a contingency plan to their original contingency plan (which honestly, TOTAL amateur move not to have one... BATMAN would have thought of one!) and these themes could be explored to bittersweet effect or even just sweet if the clone *does* tell him, and they work things out/team up against vought<3

combine the two (deterioration/team up) for a super tragic bittersweet feel that could even revolve around homie saving/failing his clone/brother/only friend... </3

OUCH.

moving on~ multiple clones because they all deteriorate rapidly. now THIS is a fuckin' fire starter... especially if the REAL homie is the one to never see the light of day, specifically because they *can't* make the contingency plan.

and here's where it gets REAL fun~<3 in this case, OG homie never sees light of day. one of the clones does commit the crime since they're all crazy *almost*, but the clones themselves keep dying, and public sometimes trashfire homie is a new clone every time and has many many many many doomsday arcs that he seemingly *recovers* from every time (new clone, who dis?... LMAO PERFECT. title right there!), vought changes things up.

public homie is the clones, he is always the clones. og homie (johnny boi~<3) becomes their contingency (assassin~) when needed since he is the only perfect one and he is very *very* well trained (as a weapon). (this can also super play into homie's anxiety for why they kept him behind the scenes too, noir can be show noir~<3, bit of role reversal actually)

kicker being when billy either *sees* og homie killing one of the clones, or has one of the deteriorating clones *literally* die and deteriorate/dissolve on top/in front of him as it's trying to kill him. it could even be one of the saner/good clones (or one that discovers homie) who finds and sends the pictures (of another clone, comic) to try get the boys to freee the real homie and stop vought

because i LOVE the idea of big dumb animal completely unused to human interaction homie coming under billy's wing, and billy definitely DEFINITELY abusing his trust and planning to use him as a weapon before~<3 well... let's just say that homie's story, general innocence (here), and need for comfort could do *things* to billy's cold dead heart<3

that one can also be combined with visceral reactions. and this homie would likely have never been with another person~<3 (what a cutie~!)

the a/b/o wrench could def be thrown in there in a special way too (thrown in like normal every other time~<3 the world def needs more omega butcher<3<3<3) but for the clones, they're all made betas/ pseudo or normal alphas while homie...

is a very rare type of prime (mmmmhmmm~<3 lol) or true alpha deemed too dangerous for society (bullshit of course, but omegas would likely be very common in this world and run things, alphas like homie would be killed at birth ordinarily, and the clones deteriorating could be explained by the tampered dna to make them 'normal'.)

i do also adore the idea that only a prime/true alpha can get a male omega pregnant for this kinda world setting~<3 (or even that they can get other normal *alphas* pregnant/bitch them) and that of course is an idea that can be used for any canon/au, show or comic.

how crazy would it be for billy to discover homie is an actual alpha and then use it against him to destroy his rep/turn people against him? it would be very on point, and could also result in an arranged bonding situation to *tame the dangerous alpha* with a *calm and rational omega*, guess who i have in mind~<3<3<3 ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

of course, homie's super sperm is still always an option because i love mpreg and bitching~<3<3<3

back to the topic. shadowlander/twins. twins are pretty self explanitory and of course, ideas can be combined. basically there were two and one got treated way way different. one or both finding out could either cause hella resentment, or these bois teaming up~<3<3<3

shadow homie... is a bit more complicated? and sparked from wanting the 'clone' framing situation AND show noir~<3 in which homie has a power he has no clue about because he has a literal dark side that can separate from his body. likely a manifestation that protected him when he was young (i love those imaginary friend type powers<3) that grew to be something... moar (and terrifying)

this kinda goes similar to the concept of mirrorlander and homie having DID, but a little different and more accurate to what's actually going on (on the show based on interview, and a little more respectful i do hope. DID is commonly used in explorations of duality and 'evil dangerous dark side' but it doesn't quite... help with common misconceptions about the disorder. just my two cents, if i were gonna explore this, i'd wanna flip it with a good personality that legit cockblocks homie every time he tries to do bad and is fighting for control/is the one causing visceral reactions to evil~<3)

but back to shadowhomie. basically, when homie was little, his literal powers created this demon to protect him. BUTT, as homie grew to no longer need him, he was caged up. and locked away. and forgotten. never a good combo and bound to cause issue~<3

so what happens? well, he has a 'clone' as this thing... developed. but he doesn't know it. shadow lander would likely hold everything dark about homie, in essence a literal manifestation of what his trauma created in him being *expelled* from his body and if not protecting him... well...

this kinda thing could also fuck around with homie's powers and make them act up a bit weirdly, maybe split what power he does or doesn't have/make them inconsistent, shadowlander splitting from him and not being with him could also be an explanation for homie's visceral reactions~<3 (full circle~<3)

but with this scenario, homie's not the culprit, but also... he is the culprit. but also not. yesn't.

i've always loved exploration in duality, and i like the idea of that side being able to fully separate, because it makes for great complexities and creative freedom. including giving homie his own doomsday arc~! (if you are unfamiliar with superman lore, i basically mean homie will end up fighting his dark side and ''''''dying''''''<3)

and that battle could be spectacular on its own when you consider that as a 'part' of homie, shadowlander could end up 'linked' to him. one gets hurt, the other does too. which always makes for... interesting fights. or since homie is the OG, it only works one way in which shadow homie gets hurt, but he wont, but maybe shadow homie is stronger overall to counterbalance it.

end result would be a struggle to 'reabsorb'/'kill' shadow homie, and to tie it back into the doomsday arc, billy could end up super fucking sad and depressed post '''''death''''' battle after a whole ass journey realizing 'oh shit, homie's *not* the bad guy' and also 'oh shit, i think i fell in love with him when i tripped, fell, and landed on his dick'... perhaps unknowingly with a little one on the way~<3<3<3 ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

twin works in place of shadowlander like the original clone too.

last thing i'll say is that i'm actually surprised they haven't used the clone option in the show given they have antony starr as homelander (*coughs in outrageous fortune* lmao). he's a guy who coulda pulled it off with flying colors and it honestly has me wondering if they may have a plan for a clone being made/used for the finale but a bit differently

MOVING ON~<3!

assassin homie and the boi who LEARNS<3<3<3

assassin homie is a fun one~<3

let's start with the 'boi who LEARNS'<3 what does that even mean? well, basically it means homie discovers he was gaslit and framed before shit hits the fan, and that he has a clone as a contingency plan... so what does he do~?

welp, couple options there between straight up murder/assassination~, getting people fired or getting them to resign, he basically takes out every single last person who *can* give the order for the clone to destroy him--

so that there's no one left who *can* give the order...

the result?

well, in someone as fucking unstable as the clone, this could cause a self destruct, he would implode/explode/everything inbetween. but ultimately be likely to destroy himself faced with a situation where he can never meet the objective he was made to meet. it's almost cruel, but it's basically a checkmate from homelander where he personally dismantles vought and gets the clone to destroy itself with minimal effort.

oooh~<3 scary and exhilarating<3<3<3

couple paths from there, either homie fucks off to be alone, total supe anarchy chaos without vought and he's around, or he takes full control of what's left of vought and OOOOHHHH~<3 OPTIONS~<3!

butt~ the fact of the matter would definitely fuck billy's (comic) plans to oblivion since... well, the boys could just go to homelander to stop him<3<3<3 if billy is stupid enough to actually try to follow through that is<3 or leave billy in a... peculiar spot.

he'd probably be there expecting a big final fight with homelander, and instead he'd get the clone destroying itself, homie was actually not guilty the whole time, and he doesn't even lift a finger to get the job done that billy had been trying to do for over a fucking decade.

"that's gotta sting..."

it also deals with a moar dangerous~<3 homie that actually uses that big brain and high iq of his<3<3<3

but with the options it does leave, there are certainly windows for... futures<3 lmao, brighter or darker actually.

something like this could make billy totally lose his drive and obsession even if homelander goes full tyrant on vought scraps because not only was he wrong, he didn't even manage to get the revenge he wanted. everything he claimed was for becky/becca (while knowing she would hate it) was pretty much for nothing in the end.

homelander could either make himself a 'villain' for billy just to snap him out of it, or even (while tyranting) implement changes that are good/more strict for vought superheros and come to check on billy.

things could even be unbearably NORMAL and they fall in love like the world's most boring average couple ever since its all over<3<3<3 (love me some vanilla shit and marshmallow billy boo<3 his canon submissiveness for people he loves his adorable<3<3<3)

it works similarly in reverse too, where homie fucks off and tells the world to fuck off since he's lost hope after that bullshit, and billy (begrudgingly) has to finally, FINALLY fucking swallow his pride and convince homie to come help them clean up/chaos is happening/major threats on the horizon they need homie for~<3<3<3

and homie OF COURSE<3 being stubborn<3 as billy tries to make him see reason that the world is worth protecting... maybe inadvertently doing so when they start banging and homelander gets billy boo up the duff~<3<3<3

but going back to assassin~<3 homie. i kinda like the idea of him apprehending and intercepting the supes the boys go after, even doing the jobs more efficiently than they could depending on scenario of course. 'making the boys obsolete' homie is another creative boner of mine and he is gorgeous~<3<3<3

but of course. not the only method. there's also the one who goes after billy~<3

of course, he'd need to get stopped and put on some kind of truce with him for butchlander, but then it can absolutely go back to him making the boys 'obsolete' to get rid of them<3 love me some dangerous predator homie<3<3<3

fact is, the boys has the 'hunted' taking aim at the 'hunter', classic trope, but it makes for some magical cat and mouse games~<3 assassin homie dials up his danger and discretion up to 1100 for sure. and there is A LOT that can be done with that<3<3<3

hate fucking<3<3<3

pretty self explanitory~<3

mostly, i just wanna drop that billy loving hate fucking is canon BOTH ways~<3<3<3 (gotta LOVE maeve taking control and his lazy lover ways~, can only IMAGINE what *show* raynor did to him<3<3<3) as is his submissive sweet bean marshmallow fluffy boi bottom tendencies when he falls in love like literally admits to becky being the first woman on top in the comic HE'S JUST SO FUCKING ADORABLE I--<3<3<3

butt. the boi is also super self destructive by habit for sure. he purposely, consistently, deliberately, bites off WAY fucking moar than he can chew for the explicit purpose of getting his ass handed to him. (literally how he meets becky. is his obvious death wish fucking showing yet)

and with a guy like homie?? he'd definitely *want* it to hurt hella bad and would definitely~ push for fighting turned into fucking... and getting overpowered each time<3

can of course be combined with other ideas~<3

the mud people/supe dilemma and compound V<3<3<3

this is just another canon dropping for both continuities. while not impossible for supes to sleep with humans... it IS portrayed as... *difficult*.

in the comics, it's more specific, but both the show and comic actually give examples of strength disparity being an issue and normal humans getting hurt. mm mentions what happens to the sex workers at herogasm, and that poor writer guy gets his dick snapped off.

the comics take it another step and show us people can and often do use drugs cut with V in order to be able to keep up, so to speak. (the only real thing to mention about v is that it comes in many more different forms in the comic that def could be explored<3)

but going back to the supe/human thing, i would wager that it (obviously) varies for supes for how *difficult* it is to maintain control when with humans. homelander obviously would be the top of that list.

and listen. y'all. i could not be fucking paid to miss an opportunity for the super dick. with great fucking *power* comes great *fucking* power LEMME TELL YA<3<3<3

if i have a chance to write about super dick, i won't miss it BECAUSE~<3

no refractory period~<3

super fucking stamina~<3<3<3

fingers, tongue, and dick can be VIBRATED with superspeed~<3<3<3<3<3<3

this motherfucker is the PERFECT<3 service top.

combined with that diamond shatting flesh destroying clencher atrocity out the back and i--.

ice princess, but worse.

lmao. the superman archetype ALWAYS tops. he just does. he needs to for the sake of his partner. it is a fact of life or you're doin' it wrong cause you have just missed the greatest golden opportunity for one HELL~<3<3<3 of a GOTDAMN GOOD fuckin' time that CANNOT be beat.

legit.

what a terrible tragedy and great disservice to miss out on this, i just... i couldn't. i would literally die. literally.

anywho~<3

"i quit" and early retirement<3<3<3

kinda self explanatory<3 again comes back to comics with them pics but can just deal with billy accusing homie however, whenever. tho the premise once again does come back to he *didn't* do it.

basically, the second the accussation comes out? homie... quits.

for an actual good reason too, or at least an attempt at good. (can just be homie being petty and hurt, works best if his record is spotless otherwise i think but also good if he's being extra extra petulant) but the good reason is him thinking he's lost time and hurt people, and not wanting to hurt anyone else/get to the bottom of things on his own if he doesn't think it was him for whatever reason.

as always lmao, can be tied back to others such as the visceral reactions, or idk, maybe the motherfucker actually has a hobby this time. it goes back to billy having to convince him to help instead<3<3<3

definitely love the world ending option here, maybe yellowstone is about to erupt or something and only homelander can stop it. i have an idea there that i will go into another time just to not add anymore tangents here. same goes for secret identity~<3 since that's more general<3

butt~<3

the other part of this is a homie who quit a long long time ago as soon as the first accusations (from others, not billy) started rolling in and fucked off to live a quiet life. it does tie in back to the clone shenanigans, multiple bad ones or one is fine. but this OG homie is an overpowered beast and--gentle giant<3.

basically, he's calm cause he has his 'girls' (milking animals lmao), a small farm, cabin by a lake, and is living a solitary life in peace as a mountain man (also inspired by starr's obsession with being a mountain man lmao). and maybe he's got hobbies, idk

however... billy, while going after the clone gets badly injured. that's where this mofo steps in. he could handle it then and there or the conflict is saved for later and he just helps billy, but either way, he takes billy back to his cabin and nurses him back to health. existensial crisis ensues~<3

possible fighting with billy demanding he handle the fucking clone if he hasn't and homie just being a... passive neutral bug. do love me the doc manhattan approach<3<3<3

there's something about rebuilding a lost hope superman/super powerful character that just makes me so happy<3

the real homie can also do other things like run a goddamn candy store or somethin, and the secret identity aspect can also def be used, maybe they're neighbors<3

maybe billy's been secretly getting railed by the retired asshole the whole goddamn time~<3<3<3

billy's final evil plan works?? and the "crossed" option<3<3<3

kinda. this one hinges back to comics (obviously, all these prompts are comic inspired lmao) with billy's worst idea ever actually succeeding, sorta, whether he skips to the finish line out of desperation or any of the above reasons or other keep homie alive, he succeeds in changing the landscape of the world.

and it backfires~<3

(tho if ya wanna go real depressing, he could actually succeed and they die in each others arms, do have to throw that one out)

butt anywho~<3 backfiring.

it can either kill all the normal humans, leaving only supes, or change a bunch of humans, kill some, and leave only supes.

it can also cause a legit zombie apocalypse. cause knowing billy... let's just be honest, it would. it absolutely would. and the zombies would function exactly like those in 'crossed' (another work by ennis i am hella interested in but fuck me they are expensive), congrats billy, you fucked the world!

in the 'crossed' crossover (lmao), supes could be immune and billy inadvertently makes homie the last best hope for human survival... and he can be a remarkably shitty one or he can actually be great or gradually learn~<3 but personally, it does seem poetic that billy would inadvertently create billions of what he was allegedly trying to destroy. that is monstrous humans with no humanity.

in a regular dystopia where people just died a lot, classic tropes from a/b/o come into play (arranged mating/population boost/control for butchlander anyone~?) and maybe even homelander being the only one who knows what billy did/tried to do and hiding the now most wanted man on earth (or maybe they do know and billy being an omega is the only thing that saves his life)

as always ideas can be combined goddammit fuck me i am tired this thing took me DAYS and if there is anything i've forgotten or want to add?

i will just make a goddamn part two (do plan for some show inspired ones too~!) or combine it with another set a prompts cause

holy fuck--

[yanchatremake]

okay, i finished exploring and... Domo, u either madman either god cuz this was sick. whole game is unique and recognisable cuz of your signature style and i loved every small detail – wasn't expecting blinking tho. thought i have hallucinations. can't wait to see other boys in act, keep going king 💪

btw will u make a patreon? i would love to support you as much as i can.

🦐

legit felt like i was a madman while coding cause of sleep deprivation lmao but im glad you liked it!!! and about the patreon, ill probably make one if yanchat gets popular enough? i do want to be able to afford maybe a voice actor or sumn

in a way, all the characters were kinda inspired by the old Yanchat boys, Infern0's feels like a mix between Yuki and Take, Echo feels like Take and Junpei, but throwawayacc actually is pretty different, i think i was thinking of Kylar from DOL when i made him lmao

[benjaycaptain]

2, 6, 8, 17, and 25 for nothing in the world for the behind the scenes asks?

bless you nonnie come into my bosom

2. Do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? If so, what do you like about them? yes i have participated in the descendants holiday gift exchange since it was started in 2016! i love events/challenges just cause it encourages creativity and production and is just a celebration of a thing we enjoy. i've done big bangs and reverse bangs in the past, too, but haven't done something like that in a long while. i'm currently doing a bingo challenge or whatever, even tho i only have one square completed so far lol

6. If you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day? hmmmm you know what, i don't think i can accurately say? not for, like. a whole day's worth. i know that pretty much each short fic/exchange i've published was done in one sitting, with the exception to the benevie fake dating one [i was sick during that so it took me a few days]. whenever i do sprints in discord, my average wpm is around 40, so like. if i actually sit down and focus until something interrupts me, it'll be 40wpm for however long i write lmao

8. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, share a song that’s been inspiring you lately. i cannot write without sound, so i either have my work playlist [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwfDSAOerkQpmS7QskO0OKSQbxZd0OUo6] running or a movie/show playing, usually ones that are heavy musically. if i really wanna focus or have a deadline to meet, i put the original ffvii battle theme on loop and write lol i don't use music as like, a mood or inspiration type of thing, i legit just need noise. you know, an adhd thing

17. What fic are you most proud of? on my new ao3? the ffvii remake fic! i've been wanting to write something for vii since i first experienced the game 24 years ago, so i'm very happy the remake and a certain artist led me to finally get off my butt to do it lmao on my old ao3, it would be my 13th warrior fic, simply because i really feel i've nailed the voices

25. Which idea came to you first in [nothing in this world but myself to protect me]? lmaoooo kink came to mind first and foremost. it was the good boy stuff and most of the jay stuff. and of course my brain being my brain was like wait before we write the kink we need to do backstory stuff, just get it out the way. and then that fucking spiraled into a whole ass outline spanning two epic length fics and here we are orz

behind the scenes asks

[noknockingonmydoor]

Headcanon

Semi-related tidbits on Heaven’s Door, Rohan’s isolation, obsession with reality, Pink Dark Boy, Koichi, interpersonal relationships. (warning: this is long)

You know how, at first, Araki said Rohan got his Stand after being pierced with the arrow during DiU, but then later on in Rohan at the Louvre he’s shown being adamant on not using his power to read people on Nanase back when he was 17? Yeah... lemme expand on how I see it.

He developed the power way before the events of DiU, but he had no idea what it was, or how to use it properly. Back then, it wasn’t even a Stand as we know them, just a latent power gradually getting developed in his subconsciousness, as his passion for using art as a form of authentic self-expression grew. He had no control on when and how to use it--it would just... sort of happen, mostly whenever he was really interested in someone/something--kind of like with Nanase, since, at that point, he was starting to get really interested in women and growing aware of his sexuality. (Also, she showed him kindness and genuine interest, which he craved back then--more on that at some other point, probs.) He legit thought he was insane and hallucinating the first time his powers happened and he never told anyone about it, because he didn’t want to be ostracised even more than he already was. Eventually, he accepted it as proof that he was special, meant for great things, and superior to all those who undermined him.

Oh, wait-- what’s that? People undermining, ostracising the great Rohan Kishibe? That was a thing? It’s more likely than you think.

Prior to getting famous, Rohan didn’t have a lot of life experience. For one, his childhood is an ominous big black hole in his memories, and he was homeschooled for the majority of it--by some very strict tutors, chosen by his parents... until he drove off every single one of them. The little time he spent in a more public, yet respectable educational environment as a teenager, he didn’t seem to fit in, as he didn’t know how to behave, what to talk about, how to react to things happening, what was acceptable, what was not. Not that he had anyone to talk about these things with, since his parents were always too busy, and he didn’t feel like talking about it with some unhelpful therapist. He was so sick of those. Many of his peers were quick to brand him a weirdo and avoid him, if they didn’t outright mock him about his shut-in lifestyle, his appearance, his interests--anything at all, really. Admittedly, it stung to be treated that way, but he didn’t want it to be obvious, so he shielded himself with displays of arrogance and lack of care for their opinions, which later escalated into an impressive amount of narcissism. It only made those same people resent him more, but they mostly left him alone... save for the few who saw through it and kept on provoking him. Once he’d finally had enough, he went off on them so hard that he almost got punched in the face and caused an incident that almost got him expelled, if it weren’t for his parents meddling in to pull some strings. (Ironically, Rohan would later on drop out in his final year, and cut out all contact with his parents. Whoops. More on his relationship with his parents at some other point)

He showed no remorse at all for his actions, which earned him both fear and respect from various individuals. He was sent to some more psychologists who didn’t help (always telling him what to think, believe, feel, as if his way of perceiving, existing wasn’t valid--which prompted his own interest and interpretation of various psychological phenomenoms), made to do extra work that only further goaded him to misbehave--nobody ever seemed to listen to him, or put an effort to understand where he was coming from. All they seemed to care about was shaping him to fit into a mold he never even wanted to fill, so he grew very resentful and mistrustful of people trying to butt in on his damn business. Feeling helpless in escaping this constricting reality, he’d often escape to his own, alternate reality, which kept him same throughout all these life’s trials. The world of Pink Dark Boy. He didn’t remember when he first came up with the character, or the world, or the story, but he had a feeling it had always been a huge part of him... and, at some point, he decided he wanted it published, revealed, shared with the world. And when Rohan Kishibe decides he really wants something... he doesn’t falter.

The earliest chapters of his work are very grimdark and edgy, because that’s how he felt while making them. Very authentic, and gut-wrenching, and believable, and terrifying and intriguing--was how the critics described it later on. Yet... there was only so much inspiration he could draw from his own experience, and retain this flattering reputation without circling around the same subjects, themes he was familiar with over and over again. At that point, he went off the rails a bit, and let his curiosity, need to know, to learn, loose far more than was wise, because he wanted to rapidly, almost forcefully, gain experience, knowledge, skill just so he could keep up with his work, and the supposed demands of his new fans (actually, his own impossible standards and demands). It worked, for a time, before he was burned out to the point of nearly losing his mind--which brings us to the events of DiU, when on a fateful whim he decided to move to Morioh, in an attempt to reconnect with his unknown childhood self, find peace, regain his mind in a town much smaller than Tokyo, where he’d lived most of his life... only to be stabbed by an arrow (possibly at his own request... lmao), and fully awaken Heaven’s Door. 

It felt so, so validating to finally have a name, and an explanation for this power, however vague it was. And when he realised that he could control it, and the possibilities that such a power opened? He completely fucking lost whatever common sense he had in his euphoria, which explains his extreme behaviour when he first met Koichi (willingness to alter his memories, kidnap him, kill him, also licking that fucking spider and punching himself in the face and JUST. EVERYTHING). If he couldn’t use his own limited knowledge of reality, he would steal it from whoever he deemed worthy, interesting, moving, etc--and Koichi’s pure, unrelenting kindness and courage and willpower was so, so wonderful, beautiful, worthy, inspiring to Rohan, which is why he latched onto the other so intensely. I believe this weird, weird friendship was very unhealthy at the beginning because of how needy and demanding Rohan can be and how much of a pushover Koichi can be, but later on Koichi figures out how Rohan works and how to put him in his place. It’s simple--once you have Rohan’s respect, he’ll submit and own up to his behaviour if you call him out on it. Kind of like at the end of DiU, when Rohan made fun of Reimi and acted all tsundere during their goodbyes, until Koichi gave him That Look and Rohan confessed his true feelings. He just... he really admires, respects, trusts Koichi. He feels it in his guts it’s safe, right to do so. He relies a lot on his gut feelings, because they rarely fail him.   

Koichi was probably Rohan’s first actual friend--not that he never had any meaningful relationships before, they just never stuck around long enough because Rohan never felt the need to invest himself too much into maintaining anything with anyone. He’s just very picky. In the rare event that he did try, it wasn’t reciprocated, or he just lost interest after finding one (1) flaw he didn’t like. He was just fine being on his own, doing his own thing, before hanging out with Koichi, stalking him observing his interactions with others and the world around him awoke inside of Rohan the wistful need to connect with someone on a deeper level. The need to experience genuine friendship, understanding, trust, giving something away without demanding something in return, looking past one’s flaws and accepting them, and allowing himself the vulnerability of it going both ways. All very, very foreign things, ones he’d convinced himself he was above experiencing, but a necessary part of being happy, fulfilled, real--something Rohan had missed out on in his life-long state of self-absorbed isolation--both forced and self-imposed.

THERE IS SO MUCH MORE thoughts I have on all of these subjects and I’ll probs elaborate at some point but I think this is enough for now lmfao bye. To end things, allow me to present one of my fave Rohan panels which kind of inspired all this

Rohan in love? Did you mean: yet another thing I’ll probs write about at some point 

[jjkfire]

yeah i def feel they’re tryna focus on selling rn but then i mean they’re company cause it’s def the company who are coming up with the selling and merch. I think it’s also cause they’re at the peak of their career and they all need to start in listing in the army etc etc. So they’re tryna get the most out of it. I wish we get our storylines back tho with the next album i mean mots7 was the most personal so there’s that. I can’t rly hate it bc everyone does it, but also it bothers me a lil too

anonymous said:

girl what you said abt bts being sellouts recently? i feel you. i'm trying so hard to get back into them it's so HERE LOOK AT THIS now that i feel like i'm getting suffocated. i miss the actual deep storylines and plots of their albums and songs and when they use to do halloween dance practices :( i'm so glad they're getting the recognition they deserves bc they're such amazing boys but also,,,, it's so exhausting now :/

//

yeah i think the fact that they have to enlist soon defo has influence on it. i also think they’re trying to get their strategy down before they enlist. this is so they can go to shareholders/investors/whoever with proper numbers and be like see this is what we can do, and what we can generate. then they take that model and apply it to TXT and all other artists directly under big hit. i think jin is delaying his enlistment till end of 2021 but can’t rmb if i read that from a credible source. anyway, i really wonder how they will handle things during enlistment and post enlistment.

and though you didn’t necessarily talk about it. i really have a bone to pick with the ads/brand endorsement that they are in. i mean some of the vids are pretty boring... or just like does not inspire me to buy the product. legit the guys getting caught with iphones despite being samsung endorsers is a big lol and if i am allowed to be a little critical, is sloppy on bts’ part. anyway I feel like the execution is trash when it comes to their brand endorsements lol. big hit nails the in house content production but when they partner up with other companies, it’s not great. though i feel that’s mostly on the brands and less so on big hit/bts.

these brands want bts as ambassadors to tap into the purchasing power that ARMY has. it's millions of people willing to buy anything they endorse but I just think they could do so much better. take brands like nike and adidas when they make ads, that shit moves you. you're like yeah that's sick!!! (e.g: nike’s you can’t stop us ad). yeah yeah they can’t go all out for a brand endorsement but i think they can do some low effort stuff. like downy for example could've done smth like make the guys make a fragrance, an exclusive limited edition product or capitalize on the fact that jk loves doing laundry.... maybe a cute little laundry day with jungkook and the boys lmao idk something that's just a little more genuine. it doesn't have to be cringe or high budget but at least it doesn't make me feel like it's just their name on a product. baskin robbins though they made a ‘bts flavour’ like the guys didn’t even have a hand in making the flavour? a video about them choosing the flavour would have made me go like ok i wanna try it. also they could get bts to work at a baskin robbins shops undercover or smth. idk something funny, something meme-y but perhaps bc of covid this wasn’t viable. anyway seeing them pose with ice cream doesn't make me feel like buying it lol. for Hyundai they could've done an outdoor camping episode, or a cute video about a road trip??? SOMETHING. like make me believe they actually like the products they are trying to sell at least. I want the ads to be more than them just saying look at this product hehe. like have you seen Thai ads? their stuff is top tier. and I remember the brands behind them because that's just the impact it has. maybe brand ambassador type products just are meant to be low effort. but a great brand related celebrity endorsed ad would be this one by budweiser & dwayne wade.

and to the other anon, i wouldn’t classify bts as sellouts as per se but bighit definitely has a very aggressive sales strategy. can’t say i’m the expert on sales and marketing but idk if this model is sustainable. i think first, fans who have been fans for a while will begin to get fatigued. maybe newer fans still don’t mind it or perhaps like it even, but eventually they might get fatigued too. but that may take years so perhaps big hit has it under control. can’t say i can fully understand because i’ve always been that person that has only ever voted, streamed and basically do things that are free in order to support them... i did buy tracks on melon in the early days to help lol but i’ve never felt the absolute need to buy everything they release, the albums and all the concert dvds or summer/winter packages. so i (and perhaps we) are not who they are targeting. maybe other people think differently and will always buy and never get tired of all the constant ‘buy this!’ type messaging.

but you are right haha i do miss the deep story lines, the goofy dance practice vids, the silly vlives where it wasn’t some curated event where they are doing smth (tho i like those too!!!) i just miss namjoon straight rambling for 10 minutes about his outlook on life, eat jin, jinminkook antics, [miss tae, hobi’s and yoongi’s vlives too] and i miss jungkook’s fancafe chatrooms... i remember one concert where in his ment, namjoon (and im paraphrasing) was like someone said something that made me sad. they said they felt like as bts achieves more, bts feels even further away from them now. (-- he went on to say not to feel like that, but i honestly can’t remember. i think this is the if our music can even make you feel 1% better ment but then again i am also not sure ahahahh!)

i didn’t feel that then but i feel that now haha. there isn’t anything wrong with it and i guess it’s just the reality of life! so so so happy for them and everything that they’ve achieved. amazing that they have a fan base that is so dedicated to them, and that continues to grow. perhaps i am just getting old...

[punkscowardschampions]

Sick Kids

gotspoons: [A chatroom/forum situation for teens with invisible illnesses/disabilities, a resource that is recommended when you can't go to IRL groups for your health/they aren't in your area etc] gotspoons: Ticked one whole thing off my to-do list today, feeling like a champ 💪 also feeling like a 2-hour long nap, who here relates? 🥱 tigerbalm: 🖐 took my nap earlier & yet 😴💤 brainpain: 💕🛏 brainpain: long lasting relationship with my memory foam mattress gotspoons: There is NO limit on the number of naps necessary to make it through the day tigerbalm: or the number of abandoned to-do lists, what was your 1 thing? gotspoons: 🚿 looks like breakfast will have to wait tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: @brainpain I have so many memory foam pillows in every room of my house I'm basically a shareholder 🙌 brainpain: @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously same but I've got my fave, I call him Edgar tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👏🙏 thank you for your service, Edgar tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: must name mine, only named the chariot 🦼 Charlton gotspoons: [ihatemyguts has entered the chat] gotspoons: A newbie, welcome! tigerbalm: 👋 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: love the username, what ails ya? tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: because this is the only place it's acceptable to ask 'what's WRONG with you?' but not the only place you encounter it, right brainpain: but you don't have to answer cos it's also somewhere where you're encouraged to 'express yourself' translation: be an arsehole if you want brainpain: if you don't go hardcore enough to get blocked brainpain: @fibrofog LMAO tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: the normies get to be rude as their default, and it is NOT encouraged to hit people with your cane, let me tell you ihatemyguts: Hi, everyone ihatemyguts: I'll do my best not to be an arsehole, even if my problem only lie directly above said orifice, which makes it a struggle not to be at times ihatemyguts: UC, first flare totally fucked over the family holiday 😬 sorry to that hotel toilet and my long-suffering parents and brother brainpain: newbie got jokes AND comedy timing ihatemyguts: 🚽 humour isn't all I have, I swear, though my life now does revolve entirely around the porcelain throne so it's no surprise I'm anally expulsive, thanks to Freud for that read tigerbalm: Freud's the perv, am I right? ihatemyguts: Totally ihatemyguts: and a big believer in the cocaine cure-all, which my Doctor just wasn't going for, shame tigerbalm: sounds like my sleazy uncle in every way tigerbalm: why does everybody get one? gotspoons: 😂 This chat is worth keeping my eyes open for gotspoons: every family is a play, and we're destined to be the 'sick kid' part gotspoons: other players react accordingly, from the 'can't look at you without crying' to the 'thinks you're making it up for some reason' brainpain: I vote we all go off script like @fibrofog 🤬🚨👿❗️ ihatemyguts: I guess I'm lucky in the sense that if anyone doubts the legitimacy of my illness, I can offer to show them the contents of my stomach/toilet bowl ihatemyguts: that shuts them up relatively fast, not had to go full 🐒 and throw it at anyone yet ihatemyguts: though I'm intrigued by the infamous @fibrofog, who are they, where, and why the infamy? Fill a girl in brainpain: the myth, the legend brainpain: so angry cos I turned 'em down for a romantic rendezvous ihatemyguts: No way! ihatemyguts: I'm glad that napping isn't the only action the memory foam is getting ihatemyguts: we're just like any other teens, right guys? 💁 tigerbalm: @brainpain you know the rules, fedora pics or it didn't happen! tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: you know what they say about disabled chicks, grateful 😉 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: #dontkillmeladies #iamnotasleazyuncle tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: don't think Mr. Fog was even a legit 🥄 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: total predator tigerbalm: if it was my uncle I'm SO sorry 😂 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: family who piggyback are THE worst tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: no, MY disability doesn't make YOU automatically WOKE for not drowning me in the tub or throwing me off the nearest high place I can access ihatemyguts: Honestly, I've never felt as simultaneously popular and unpopular in my life ihatemyguts: people 💬 a big acceptance game on the socials ihatemyguts: but no one wants to actually hang with the girl who can't eat shit and will spend half her time in the 🚽 gotspoons: Everyone's supportive until your disability gets in the way of THEIR perfect life even slightly gotspoons: imagine if they were one of us 👽 brainpain: speak for yourselves, my slurred speech makes me a hit with all my hard partying peers brainpain: get weird without a 🍹 ihatemyguts: hey man, don't let us drag you down 😎 ihatemyguts: if @fibrofog was feeling you, you're WAY too cool for this chat right now brainpain: never have, never will, baby 😉 brainpain: [inandout has entered the chat] gotspoons: OH MY GOD, that's a whole different story...my parents = you need to socialize more, live life! my parents = I don't know if this group is good for you, we think you're being encouraged to display and give in to even more problems gotspoons: thanks guys, you're literally making me more disabled with your disabledness 😂 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: It is a cult, well-known fact, leave your productiveness to society at the door and let's all lie here and feel sorry for ourselves, doesn't that sound like fun, kids? 😈 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and 👋 sup, inandout, not seen you in a while tigerbalm: my parents act like y'all are catching too! Would you like to cage me like a legit 🐅 or? inandout: baited breath inandout: out living that life like @gotspoons parents want tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: It'll be the Olympics next tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🥇 Hero status with the normies, inspirational, dude inandout: if it'll make adults I've never met proud of me ihatemyguts: I can't believe I've not checked if I'm disabled enough for the paras, oh my God ihatemyguts: are there enough of us for a basketball team? brainpain: if ONLY my former lover were here brainpain: he's gotta be so tall ihatemyguts: Pining for @fibrofog is productive, yeah? ihatemyguts: can pine from my throne just fine brainpain: hands off newbie! I will throw mine brainpain: LOL imagine gotspoons: This group has always had a bias towards too many girls gotspoons: it's almost as if even disabled boys don't wanna talk about their feelings gotspoons: what say you @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously and @inandout? 🤔🤴🤴 inandout: I'd bring friends but you know us CF kids aren't allowed to congregate inandout: and what could I possibly have in common with someone who doesn't share my disease ihatemyguts: So, what is the deal with that, are some of us catching? ihatemyguts: 🐅 parents might have legit concerns inandout: cross infectious but only if you've got what's got me inandout: none of you do so you'll need another reason to turn down hanging out in person tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: my fedora is in the wash? inandout: Fibro could easily say it's my jewishness brainpain: but it's your hunkiness, babe 💪😉 inandout: I'd whistle back at you, Lauren but.... inandout: let's just say you leave me breathless tigerbalm: No names, Zach tigerbalm: it's like a rule ihatemyguts: uh-oh ihatemyguts: if you had a name, Tiger, in theory, like ihatemyguts: 🧐 tigerbalm: Robyn ihatemyguts: Pretty, you others may as well just come out with it now ihatemyguts: even if I'm a massive perv with mad hacking and tracking skills, I pinky promise I won't be able to find you from your given name alone brainpain: give us yours, newbie ihatemyguts: I will, but you'll think I'm giving you a fake one ihatemyguts: it's the gift and curse bestowed upon me at birth, along with potentially dodgy genetics brainpain: your life is 💩 brainpain: but still ihatemyguts: Zelda ihatemyguts: a reference I'm sure you won't get, 'cos you're so 😎 brainpain: I game, the stream was fibros fave hunting ground brainpain: no 💩 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Turns out being a nerd is way easy from the relative (barely but beats death, yeah?) comfort of the memory foam tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and Rich 👍 only in name, destitute until my next pittance comes in tigerbalm: she's not supposed to 🎮 -headaches -dizziness -light & sound sensitivity but she's a REBEL brainpain: 👌 MOM maybe I'd love a seizure, what do you know? ihatemyguts: I respect it ihatemyguts: gonna be fondly reminiscing over all those dirty, evil trigger foods when they're resecting my bowel 🖕🚔 brainpain: I had a life before I had a TBI, no offense to 👶 Zach inandout: none taken gotspoons: You're all being bad and I cannot support it 🤐😜 gotspoons: and I'm Rosie, I will just 😴 out on you all the time and yes, it's a fantastic excuse for when you don't wanna respond ihatemyguts: I'll commit all of those to memory in a normal, non-creepy manner ihatemyguts: but whilst I'm allowed to be a n00b, what do you all do for school? brainpain: I was nearly done before 🤯 which got me my pity pass ihatemyguts: pity with a point, at least, alright tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm waiting to start uni, absolutely no thanks to my school and their totally ableist refusal to make reasonable adjustments for accessibility tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but fedora or not, I can be a real arsehole, a loud, persistent one at that tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: take my applause now brainpain: 😍 brainpain: take my 💘 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as long as it's not heavy, m'lady brainpain: you could 💔 brainpain: hold the pieces tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🧠 just isn't poetic enough brainpain: you know me gotspoons: you guys are so cute 🥰 and your broken brain is beautiful, Lauren gotspoons: me though, I'm barely struggling through school still, so many sick days, so much catching up to do 🥱 just thinking about it and therein lies the problem tigerbalm: my parents are trying to get online classes set up but my headteacher is like a million years old inandout: is he a demon? inandout: that was some scary fiction brainpain: or was it? brainpain: cue up those sound effects tigerbalm: if we're gonna talk about hypnosis, I'm out ihatemyguts: that was some serious creepy uncle vibes ihatemyguts: why did he need that level of control ihatemyguts: 🐘 in the room tigerbalm: I have a hippie cousin too, alternative therapy talk is so triggering ihatemyguts: I need a memoir re. your family sitch immediately 😂 ihatemyguts: you get the food purists coming @ me as if I just eat the right thing I'd be 'cured' tigerbalm: I'm working on a screenplay but I've never written a script before, I did find an online class for that easily though ihatemyguts: that's actually 😎 ihatemyguts: soz, Lauren brainpain: she's our lil busy 🐝 brainpain: step your game up, Zachary brainpain: supposed to be you, bro inandout: let Robbie have it, she has more sick days to fill up ihatemyguts: always have your 🥇 inandout: I can pin it on like a star when I got to school with the masses inandout: let them know I'm not what normal looks like ihatemyguts: only the others like you need to have the scoop on that though ihatemyguts: really fucks with the segregation in a big way inandout: “I feel like someone breathed new air into my lungs. I am not Abnegation. I am not Dauntless. I am Divergent.” ihatemyguts: Tattoo idea inandout: if I make it to 18, I'll do it ihatemyguts: how long you given yourself there? inandout: I turned 14 in may, the party was a full blown rager inandout: 🏥🎂 ihatemyguts: you like ruining events too? ihatemyguts: what a coincidence, don't just do family holidays inandout: if I can't blow up 🎈 nobody can ihatemyguts: 🥳 smug bastard inandout: I find that party blower offensive inandout: Rosie! That's a strike for the new girl ihatemyguts: Come to me when it's as culturally iconic as 💩 ihatemyguts: my next (first) tattoo right there inandout: how long are you waiting for that masterpiece? ihatemyguts: was 14 in March ihatemyguts: if we both make it, it's a date inandout: cool inandout: way I'm going that'll be my first one brainpain: now I feel like a pervy OLD uncle brainpain: thank you 👶s ihatemyguts: Lemme guess? ihatemyguts: I'm thinking 19 brainpain: spooky brainpain: I'm an Aquarius if anyone cares ihatemyguts: our 🌟s aligning might be too close to alternative for comfort tigerbalm: I'm a cancer, which is awkward tigerbalm: not my diagnosis ihatemyguts: at least it's memorable ihatemyguts: literally tacked on at the end, who's remembering 🎣 tigerbalm: I hope my 16th will be, for the right reasons tigerbalm: I've still got 5 months left to plan ihatemyguts: 🤞🤞🤞 tigerbalm: I'll add your name, the others know they're all invited ihatemyguts: that's so nice ihatemyguts: considering this introduction has given away nothing if not I am a terrible guest brainpain: another chat about online safety, Robyn, REALLY? 😏 brainpain: did my failed romance teach you nothing? ihatemyguts: if that isn't a challenge to send a photo and make you feel really weird ihatemyguts: why are we anon anyway, to stop us uprising? ihatemyguts: metaphorically if not literally, no offense xoxo brainpain: f it brainpain: I need you all to sign up to my stream to pay my bills anyways brainpain: [a selfie] ihatemyguts: @fibrofog, I get it brainpain: don't flock to tell me how sexy I am, that'd make it weird brainpain: plus, I know tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I picked an awkward time to check back in tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Rosie falls asleep and anarchy reigns? tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm proud brainpain: 💔 YOU haven't showered me with compliments, but hey tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: if I made it that easy you'd never be 💘 brainpain: 😩 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: to save any of the rest of you following such a hard act tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: [pic] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: it's old but still a rough estimation of what I look like on a good day brainpain: 😍 brainpain: You're up, girl Z ihatemyguts: if you're all good looking though, I'm so mad ihatemyguts: [a selfie] ihatemyguts: 💩 inandout: I'm not good looking, I'll go next inandout: besides, Robbie would never bow to peer pressure and Rosie is out for the count inandout: [a selfie] tigerbalm: I am 🙀 tigerbalm: but everyone else has tigerbalm: [the shyest selfie of all time] ihatemyguts: 😻😻😻 ihatemyguts: seriously ihatemyguts: representation done us dirty on so many levels now ihatemyguts: when we're not invisible, why we not so gorgeous tigerbalm: there should be a blushing 😸 tigerbalm: that's the representation I need ihatemyguts: Call me out all you need but I was convinced this whole thing would be a lot more tragic than it has been inandout: tragic Tuesdays are a thing brainpain: no they are f-ing not brainpain: Zachary, just cos the new girl's in your age bracket + shares your 1st initial brainpain: she is not corruptible to you inandout: check us on our date, Lauren inandout: but watch your profanity brainpain: watch me give you a DIY lung transplant gotspoons: Excuse me gotspoons: what is going on here brainpain: nothing babe, it's all a dream gotspoons: 😖 gotspoons: if it was, none of you would be here gotspoons: sorry to say brainpain: we love you too brainpain: hit us with that sleepy selfie gotspoons: You know we aren't meant to give out personal info in the public forum gotspoons: if you choose to privately, that's okay though gotspoons: also I don't look any better for my shower now 🥴🤫 brainpain: you're a hottie gotspoons: 😘 gotspoons: well, my blog IS going to be featured on [insert disability awareness news moment] next month, so it isn't as if you couldn't find 🖼 if you really wanted gotspoons: [photo] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Congrats, Ro tigerbalm: a genuine 👏👏👏 tigerbalm: I love your blog gotspoons: Ty, ty 🙇 gotspoons: it's the same as my username, if you wanna check it out, newbie 😄 brainpain: but have you been on the news for being the victim of a violent crime? 😏 just me LOL inandout: Lauren's trading on her fame again inandout: let Rosie have her moment ihatemyguts: pass along all relevant info and I'll 🤓 right up brainpain: @inandout 🍒😃💩👅 brainpain: enjoy the profanity, bro inandout: today's highlight tigerbalm: Zelda could take offence at that, Zach tigerbalm: I think it was nice to meet her ihatemyguts: Not at all ihatemyguts: though it's cultural appropriation to use that emoji without my permission, I'll let it slide 😉 ihatemyguts: nice meeting you all too tigerbalm: I really am gonna have to tell you about my family now ihatemyguts: All I wanted, tbh tigerbalm: everyone else knows this but my parents are white Americans & they adopted me and my brothers who are Native and African American respectively tigerbalm: & you saw me, the Korean girl so ihatemyguts: Ohh tigerbalm: it sounds like a show that should air on ABC family, right? tigerbalm: hella awkward ihatemyguts: I'm brainstorming (p. sure we're not meant to say that, soz) titles rn ihatemyguts: inappropriate question alert, verbal smackdowns appreciated if needed ihatemyguts: did they adopt you knowing you were disabled or is that a new development? tigerbalm: I was gonna call it building bridges but we can't really say that the USA has wronged Korea like the other nations tigerbalm: though they did adopt me knowing so maybe it still works 😄 ihatemyguts: it's got legs tigerbalm: 🦿 ihatemyguts: Ugh, must dash ihatemyguts: 🩸💉s tigerbalm: best of luck ihatemyguts: 💕 total pro by now 💪 brainpain: if I don't 👀 you on my stream I'll 🔎 you here in the forums inandout: a threatening goodbye inandout: can't compete tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👋 Hope to see you back here, Zelda tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: though you wouldn't be the first person to 👻 after dropping in, so no pressure, @Lauren gotspoons: but actually, we're always here, some of us more than others, but you'll always find someone to chat to about the things you can't with non-spoonies ihatemyguts: ✌

[meanderfall]

thank you my love!! ^v^

(lmao i finally did it @solienna... it’s been like months but i finally completed this. also if you’re wondering, when i first tried to answer the original ask, it wouldn’t save any of what i’d written as a draft, so i just started a new post lol)

1. three songs that come up when you put your phone on shuffle

Flaws (acoustic) by Bastille

Wait For It from Hamilton

Here Comes the Rain Again by Eurythmics

3. three songs you were recently obsessed with

World in my Pocket by The Unlikely Candidates

The Darker the Weather, the Better the Man by MISSIO

Walk Me Home by P!NK

8. three songs that remind you most of summer and vacation

this is probably a weird choice but The Kids Aren’t Alright. I honestly don’t know why, it just gives me summer vibes.

Taste by Sleeping at Last (probably bc i listened to this A LOT while playing stardew valley and stardew gives me summer vibes)

Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy

(this section was so hard.... there are like 0 songs that i actually associate with summer and vacation. literally the only way i do is if i discover said song and listen to a lot around the time summer starts)

11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrack

What’s Up Danger By Blackway & Black Caviar

I’m Still Standing by Taron Egerton

The Cyborg Fights (Genos’ theme from One-Punch Man. It’s an instrumental piece, and it goes off).

12. three favourite songs from video games

i fucking hate you adri, so much, i never listen to video game soundtracks, you fool, i have nothing to offer you

Klavier’s theme from Ace Attorney! Called Guilty Love lmao

I played Night in the Woods recently, and I think my two favourite pieces were Astral Alley (it plays during a dream sequence and i literally fucked around doing nothing for a bit just to listen to this. It’s so peaceful, but there’s something also... wistful or sad about it, that i just love.) 

and Dusk Stars! (That one plays while stargazing with a professor as a sidequest and tbh it was one of my favourite parts of the game. Surprisingly wholesome, and the last bit really struck a cord with me.)

13. three songs you want at your funeral

Saturn by Sleeping at Last

I Lived by One Republic

Pieces by Harbor and Home (low-key this song is practically a narrative for my life and for once it’s just comforting)

14. three songs you want at your wedding

Bright by Echosmith

Lovesong by Adele

Meaning of Life by Kelly Clarkson

(i don’t.... listen to happy love songs.... i was just going through my library of romantic songs and i was like “this is too pop, this is too angsty, this is pre-relationship, etc. etc”.)

15. three songs you want to dance with your love to

Fly Me to the Moon

Turn Time Off

Anna Sun by Walk the Moon (tbh this song gives me a very specific image of like moving into a new home with my lover and this song is playing while we’re unpacking, or even just any high energy song, and we end up pausing unpacking long enough to dance silly together and sing the song and it ends with us like hugging with a peck for good measure and life seems so good and perfect)

18. three songs that remind you of your best friend

Budapest (legit bc she showed me this song and was like “i think you would like this!” and you bet your ass i would love that song even if it was trash)

Another Night on Mars

Trouble is a Friend by Lenka (why? i legitimately don’t know. Especially since she’s the sweetest and most peaceful person ever. Then again she is a junkrat main.... never mind it makes sense)

19. three songs that are your guilty pleasure

Waters of Megalovania

Jessie’s Girl (this is like. the quintessential chad complaining about being friend-zoned, but i jam out to it every time, and im sucker for jealousy and unrequited love)

I Don’t Even Care About You by MISSIO for the days when im angry or having a bad day or more annoyed than usual at people trying to interact with me, and I just want to indulge in my old cynicism and hatred of the world in general

20. three songs that remind you of the person who sends this one

False Confidence by Noah Kahan

Hate That You Know Me by the Bleachers

Happy by Marina and the Diamonds

21. three songs of your childhood

oh boy adri, i was an angsty kid. I also tried to keep this specifically to songs I listened to before the age of ten just bc in my head my childhood was pretty much from the ages 3 to ~9, and honestly corresponds to a very specific period in my life

Because of You by Kelly Clarkson

Pieces by Sum 41

Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

22. three songs you listen to when you’re sad

All We Do by Oh Wonder

All the King’s Horses by Karmina

SoLow by Keegan Calmes

(this selection was actually hard bc there are... a surprising amount tbh and that probably isnt a good thing lol)

23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up

How Far We’ve Come by Matchbox Twenty

High on Humans by Oh Wonder

Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon (to the surprise of exactly no one. This song came out five years ago and it’s STILL my feel good song, even when i feel terrible)

(this was also a hard choice because i got so many feel good, pump me up songs as well, which i guess??? balances out the amount of sad songs i know and love??)

24. three favourite old songs

lmao how old are we talking here? early 2000s? before that? 1950s? i’ll just go with some goodies

Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer (OKAY SO. this is low-key an all-time favourite of mine and that i relate(d) to a LOT as the person he’s singing about.)

Africa by Toto (damn fucking right im putting it adri!!!)

For What It’s Worth by Buffalo Springfield

26. three favourite non-English songs

Alles Neu by Peter Fox (for once not a lyrics video, bc the official video is part of the Experience for this song)

The Narrow Street by Shin-Yong Woo (aka Jumin’s voice actor. This is simultaneously a huge mood, and gives me feels for my husband)

Little Traveler by clear (the only vocaloid song i know! im truly a sucker for The Little Prince though, the novel that inspired this song)

(be proud of me adri, this section could’ve been nothing but japanese songs, a good portion just from anime.)

29. three songs that influenced you most (some songs change or save lives)

im not gonna lie, a lot of these songs were kind of taken by the childhood ones but lemme see if i can scrounge up any others

In a Big Country by Big Country

Stand by Rascal Flatts

Better Get to Livin’ by Dolly Parton

(As you know, I listen to the first one A LOT, pretty much every time I get into sad mood and want some comfort, but the other two, i sort of forget about, even though i remember these songs being super important to me when i was younger. And re-listening to these now is... kind of crazy tbh, and bringing up all sorts of memories. I will say, perhaps i should give younger me more credit for how hard she was trying to heal and be a better person, just based on these songs lol)

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)

Lemme see, im gonna give you guys some songs that I internally categorize as late night songs. The songs that make you feel like you’re listening to it at 2 am on a Saturday night, and reality feels just a little bit shifted, and everything feels deeper, more meaningful

Sloppy Seconds by Watsky

Shrike by Hozier

Hurricane by Reuben and the Dark

Sunflower by Post Malone, Swae Lee

+Bonus. Three songs I can listen to, no matter what my mood

Muscle Memory (Acoustic) by Lights. No joke, even on days where i feel like any song is going to irritate the fuck out of me and im sick of listening to music and the emotions they evoke, i can listen to this and immediately feel better

It’s Alright by Mother Mother (legit whenever it shows up in my recommended i smash that mf play button no matter what. it’s like one of, if not the only, song that matches the screaming in my head.)

You’re Somebody Else by flora cash (same as the two above tbh)

[akamarulover]

Bilgamesh or mirio

Im doin both fam u know it

Gilgamesh

First impression: Very sparkly. Pretty strong too but mostly the big gold sparkle man. Also has a sick ass lion thats pretty legit. 

Impression now: High maintenance AF. Fuck this bitch who costs me all my QP all the damn time like??? Im ALWAYS farming for more skill items for him. Got wayy to invested in The Epic of Gilgamesh for him. Also I watched all of Fate/Illya (which was mostly terrible) just to see Ko-Gil. 10/10 Love the gold sparkle man.

Favorite moment: hmmmmmm his fight with Berserker in Fate/Zero was one of the coolest fights I’ve seen. Also the first time he unleashed EA bc damn that shit looked SO GOOD. 

Idea for a story: Fate/Strange Fake becoming adapted into anime form. He and Enkidu tag tam the grail war together like a couple of guys bein dudes. Actually that would be cool is a grail war with 2v2 matches pairing up famous historical pairs. 

Unpopular opinion: Gold archer rules, Red archer drools

Favorite relationship: You know I can’t pick between GilSaber and GilEnkidu. 

Favorite headcanon: Ya boi loves getting his ass kicked. Anyone who can do that (or match him) goes right on top of his favs list. 

Mirio

First impression: Goofy Tintin lookin weirdo. I did immediately join team TinTinFucker tho back when people thought he bullied Shinsou (which was weird???)

Impression now: BEST BOY. My everything. Kinda dumb but that adds to his charm. Big and buff and strong and lovely and perfect. An Angel. Silly and happy and uplifting to all. #1 senpai and #1 brother figure and #1 hero in my heart.  My husband.

Favorite moment: ALL. Ok but the Overhaul v Mirio fight is absolutely my fav fight in the series thus far. That was PEAK emotional Good Shit. 

Idea for a story: LISTEN back during Christmas time I had this really cute idea for Mirio to take Eri out of the hospital for a day to go celebrate her first Christmas party. And I wanted it to be super fluffy and sweet. And he was gonna get her like cake and a big teddy bear and spoil her with candy and love and fun. And now my prompt (while not Christmas themed lmao) is being used, ALMOST TO A T, in the canon manga itself. And I am still beside myself with happiness and love for everything Horikoshi has blessed me with in my life. And PLEASE I need him to be a big presence in her life OK I NEED THIS.  

Unpopular opinion: I don’t think he and Tamaki are particularly compatible. Like for the most part even in the manga flashbacks, they seemed to me only like classmates and at most casual friends. Tamaki obviously noticed him and looked up to him because he was radiant and inspired everyone. In Mirios own flashbacks, it was his father who inspired him. Saying they both drive each other forward really seems like a stretch imo. 

Favorite relationship: He and Eri. They’re just,,,,,so cute. I adore how strong he has been able to stay for her. And I’m weak af for that found family shit. They both lost SO MUCH to Overhaul. Its like,,,meant to be. They gotta stick together now. Like yall have no idea how much I want him to be there for all her major life events from now on. But also he and Deku is GOOOOD. Because the #1 senpai tropes always kill me dead. 

Favorite headcanon: He strikes me as not being particularly interested in relationships, so ace/aro :9 But at the same time also very physically affectionate. Will be very casual and comfortable with most people very fast. I see both him, and especially Nejire, being very affectionate (with everyone) in that way. Since they’re like that, and together often, people may think they’re dating But at this point its not anything they ever brought up with each other or even thought about. And to add in I see Nejire as pan/poly. 

Send me characters!

[onlyjihoons]

college! minhyung

a/n; inspired by a series of unfortunate events that happened to yours truly, and it’s my first time writing a college au so please enjoy:’)

major: music and audio tech

mark really liked music and making music so when he heard there was a course for it he immediately signed himself up for that

and he’s in the school’s dance club,, a very underrated dancer

tbh he partially got in because of his looks

also an underrated visual in nct

but mostly because this boy got those sick moves and he does music too?? yes please

i’m not saying that he’s the campus hottie but that’s exactly what i’m saying

but he’s really low-key and just wants to pursue his passion in music

and do well

you and mark met through this thing where you get admitted early into a course you like

you,, chose communications and media management or mass communications, as you would like to call it(i shall refer it to cmm)

and mark was there for the early admission exercise too because he had it as a backup if he couldn’t get into music and audio tech

at first the whole room was super tense because,, cmm is fiercely competitive

and you needed more than just language to get through this whole thing

when you arrived, you took a seat at the back because,, isn’t that what students do

and then mark came into the room like a really awkward bean

literally bows to everyone while saying excuse me

and he takes his seat beside you(!!)

you were lowkey screaming because,, why would someone as hot as mark sit beside you,, an average girl who just wants to get into the damn course

and your school didn’t had guys like that

let’s take a moment to imagine mark in casual clothes, like that red lacoste polo tee and ripped jeans and black vans and a kanken?? did that made your heart race? because it made my heart do just that

ya’ll know exactly which pic im referring to

so you decided not to be a chicken and make friends w him

“i’m really nervous,, i’ve yet to internalize my script for the screen test later”

“same,, i’m more worried for the written test tbh” with that shy smile of his

ok b4 we move on there are 3 components of your early admission exercise thing

1. written test 2. screen test 3. interview

and basically you have to go through all of that lmao

ok let’s get back to the story

“i’m sure you’ll do well, uhm..”

“mark”

“mark, yep”

“and you’re?”

“y/n”

“that’s a pretty name ^^”

you swore your heart dropped

fast forward to the interview, you and mark were in the same group

and the damn lecturers had their radar on you bc wow reader you’re a catch

“so y/n, we saw that you write fiction in your portfolio, right?”

you broke into a sweat bc they ain’t gonna reveal that you write fanfictions in front of mark

“yeah i do”

“so could you please come up with a plot and characters for a current affair you know?”

you were pretty shook because fanfic ideas only hit you when it’s the right time(ff writers do you feel me)

so you were stuttering,

“i lost my childhood friend in a tsunami??”

and the lecturers literally cracked up at your idea

but they couldn’t blame you though, its hard to come up with an answer on the spot

at the end of the interview, mark was also lowkey cracking up

“omg i can’t believe you said that y/n, but i gotta admit it was pretty creative”

“i know right, why did i say that…” 

“i thought it was really creative and different though, i liked it”

there goes your heart

fastforward to the beginning of the school term

mark and you exchanged numbers on that day and when you guys received the results of the posting he wasn’t in cmm but music and audio tech

tbh you were rlly happy for him bc you guys were convenient friends from that day on and he was so excited and passionate about making music its just so so heartwarming

and well, the first assignment the lecturer gave was about a collaboration?? article

it can be between any student as long as its a different major

and it applies to every student on campus gdi

so the first person that came to your mind was mark

so after your lecture you ran straight to the block mark’s lecture hall was at

and as soon his lecture ended you ran up to mark who was busy chatting with his newfound friends

“mark! did you get the collaboration assignment?”

“yeah i did, why?”

“c-can i collab with you?”

and all his friends were all stunned like,, why is this girl suddenly coming up to mark to collab

“s-sure, why not?” with the mark giggle, you know what i’m talking about

“good, i’ll see you soon then,” you winked, leaving mark dumbstruck

and when you left your heart was leaping out of your chest and you mentally slapped yourself for winking at mark

anyhow, you and mark would meet up every other day to work on the assignment, with mark as your protagonist of your article

and mark makes a music piece, as you take part in producing the music piece

but the song is actually about you!!

basically mark talks about what he learns in the course, like making music and stuff

he also plays the guitar which is a plus

whilst you guys were collabing

mark gained attention for his insanely good looks, which he often denied and pushes the campus hottie title to taeyong,, his senior

and also his music making and lyric writing talent

have you seen his rap freestyle in snowball project??? like how did you even mark lee 

and you gained attention for your writing, one of the top cmm students in school with a bright personality and media sense

and rumour goes around the campus that the best students of both majors are collabing and are already scoring those As lmao

that rumour was true and everyone was looking forward to the finished products of the geniuses of the school

while you two were collabing you two got to know more about each other

and you know,, you,, like,, like,, each other its so cute 

you two keep sending signals to one another

for mark its adding smileys to his texts and a few hearts and like holding the door when you enter the recording studio and all those gentlemanly stuff ugh so sweet

for you,, its just more affection and skinship and playful slaps on the shoulder

the rest of the school; “pLEASE DATE ALREADY”

both of your friends literally could sense those signals but the both of you couldn’t

so on the last day of doing the assignment you and mark would show each other’s completed assignment

you showed mark your article of him, alongside with a candid picture of him working on the music you took secretly

“omg y/n,, this is so good, thank you so much”

“you’re welcome mark,, it’s nothing,, really”

and mark showed you his finished music piece and you were so proud of him because the song actually sounded legit and not by a college student

after the music ended, mark looked at you seriously and started fiddling with his hands

“you know,, y/n,, i’ve been wanting to tell you this in the longest time…”

“what is it?”

“that,, i really like you,, since the d-day we met, i really like how you are so passionate about writing and stuff… and how pretty you are and…”

“i like you too, mark, i really really like you”

and the you two hug and boom youre dating aAAAA so cute

dating college!mark would be the softest thing ever

he would memorise your favourite drink and buy it for you every morning without fail

you reckon mark would be broke by the end of the year from buying your favourite white chocolate mocha from starbucks every morning lol

and wait outside the girls’ dorm for you

and the main point is he looks good while waiting for you that sometimes you come down a lil later to just take candid pics of him waiting for you LOL

if mark’s lectures end earlier than yours, he would wait for you outside your lecture room like omg sweetest boyfriend ever

basically you guys are like inseperable

but he’s a lil shy with the pda during the first steps of the r/s so expect loads of blushy mark

but when he’s warmed up to it he’s like the clingiest baby ever

he does give you space tho,, which youre thankful for

and when he stays up too late to do his music assignment you would creep into the studio to bring him some snacks and coffee

and make sure he gets sleep because this boy can’t be stopped unless youre around

you joined the dance club soon after he joined an like you two are the literal power couple with the visuals and talents just,,, debut together please

when ya’ll did 1million dance studio’s All I Wanna Do choreography iT WAS LIT AND SLAYING EVERYONE WAS CHEERING

mark is generally rlly shy with compliments so you always compliment him so that people dont take advantage of his humility if that makes sense

like there was once he had a group project and je did most of the work and everyone was like “mark you did all the work!! this isnt a group project”

mark was like no omg my teammates did the work too

and his jackass teammate was like “oh mark only did half of the work and we did the most”

you were ready to fight that asshole and mark had to literally hold you back 

mark really likes it when you steal his hoodies and wear it to lectures bc you look so cute in them

and his graphic tees too this boy has gr8 fashion ngl

when the break rolls around you guys would go cafe hopping and eat till your stomachs were almost exploding

and also shopping for clothes and all that

mark was willing to be your human guinea pig when you buy makeup when your hand runs out of space for swatches

and when its time to pay mark just shoves his credit card to the cashier and youre like

“mark youre gonna be so broke thats $128 worth of makeup”

and you pouting and mark had to use his fingers to lift your lips up into a smile

“you’ve done so much for me for just being my girlfriend, babe, just let me pay for it this once”

and it was the 34th time he paid lmao

anyhow dating!college mark is all pure and fluffy and innocent

please give mark lots of love

[sitaaronkepaar]

Daily Rikara Ramblings

Going in knowing I'm gonna lmao. Omkara's chutiyapa is on full display today rofl

Omg this pic room is creepy af. Like I legit wanted something like this during Rikara confession, but now it looks like something straight out of Darr movie. All Omkara has to do is stammer like SRK, G...G...G...Gauri, and my nightmare will be complete. 😫😫😫😫

Inspiration ka credit toh kabhi diya nahi, but flashback soch k zaroor sad hoga. Fuck outta here boi. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Omg what is this naali class version of Saathiya. Yuck. 😫😫🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉  On the other hand, I am glad they didn't ruin that song with this freepy(funny+creepy, yes this is a thing now) scene.

I'm trying but I just can't feel bad for Om's man pain here. What an A-level chutiya! Apne mann me hi story banayi, usi se Gauri ko judge kiya and now he's going to pass judgment from his mind ki kahani too. Dude, you were at the fucking hotel, you should've at the very least bothered to check if it was your Gauri or not. Matlab it's a common ass name bro. Why don't you ever use your fucking brain? Ya phir ye Bhagwan ne kahaniya banane and wrong judgements pass karne ke liye hi diya hai? 🤔🤔🤔

Naali class version of Saathiya is still hurting my ears. 🙉🙉🙉🙉

But even that can't make me not fucking notice Aastha's pictures. W.T.A.F. 😲😲😲😲😲😲 I bet this scene was a last minute addition, but dear god, screen journal does have dozens of pics of Gauri, why couldn't they just use those? 4Lions ki incompetence at display again! 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

Aur agar space fill up karna bhi tha toh ok, but why the fuck are you focussing on her pictures? Like, what even! 😲

And like the psycho he is, he burns them paintings down!!!

Also,

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA OMFG THE VFX IN THIS SCENE IS SO BAD, I'M DEAD. IT'S LITERALLY THE WORST I'VE EVER SEEN. LIKE KISI CHOTE BACCHE KO KARNE BOLA HOTA EVEN THEY'D HAVE DONE A BETTER JOB. WTF BIKHARI PH. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Okay, calming down, those paintings were legit bad so I ain't even mad. 😂😂😂😂

Omg Aisa lag raha hai paintings hawa me latki hai. ���😲😲😲 Wtf is this shit.

And why are the frames so highlighted all of a sudden? 😂😂😂😂😂

Om is suanoing his sher and piche aastha ki painting jal rahi hai. I just can't fucking stop laughing. Dear God in heaven, I can't 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Again fuck outta here with your man pain. Ye imaginary raita aapne khud hi phailya hai. 😃😃😃😃😃

I would've quoted his sher but point kya hai? When he finds out he fucked up YET AGAIN, he will feel thoda sa guilty and it will be back to square one. Like what's even the point of all this? What can Om even say that he hasn’t already said before? What can Gauri say that she hasn’t already said before? 😑😑😑😑

No, honestly, yesterday I ranted about the toxic nature of their relationship, today I want to talk about the cvs. Wtf do these cvs even think they're doing? They could've utilized Shrenu's illness in so many ways, sent Gauri off to Bariely, made her leave a Dear Omkara letter and let her leave OM for good, show she was sick, hospitalized, Germany chali gayi thi, KUCH BHI. But why the same old misunderstanding nonsense again? At this point, you're just reiterating the point that Rikara don't belong together. This guy doesn't even have an iota of trust in Gauri. Matlab pehle toh aankhon ka dhoka khata tha, aaj iske dimaag ne bhi dhoka de diya hai. He didn't even bother to follow up, bas created a story in his head and acted the judge, jury and executioner on his own. Wtf is wrong with him?

And wtf was that pic burning scene? It didn't feel emotional or sad or whatever the cvs/director were gunning for. It looked straight up freepy, but not even that properly, cause Omkara was acting like a child throwing a tantrum. Without investigating and trying to find out the truth, he made assumptions, jumped to wrong conclusions and decided to end the relationship! Chalo, theek hai, Rikara was always one sided anyway. Nibhana Gauri ne shuru one-sidedly kiya tha and khatam Omkara ne one-sidedly kar diya. Jaan chooti I guess.

Except not? Cause Rikara is a circle of hell and we are stuck in it. Now he's misunderstood again and ended their nonexistent relationship toh baat karne k liye bacha kya hai? There's literally nothing to talk about. He unilaterally took the decision to end the relationship. I'm guessing he will insult Gauri(yet again) and she will either stay silent or leave or maybe even sunaofy him(yet again) but then he'll find out about her English truth and then what? What exactly can he say to justify himself this time? Ok, he has insecurity, abandonment issues, but why should Gauri bear the brunt of his problems? When it comes to Gauri, he always thinks first, acts later. Sure he had grounds to be suspicious but this time the punishment doesn't fit the crime, esp since he did nothing to get to the bottom of the issue. Just passed the judgement.

What/Who am I even supposed to root for anymore? Not this nincompoop or this toxic relationship! Do the writers even know where they want to take Rikara's story? Cause Dbo se Ib tak there's only been one thing constant between them, misunderstandings. The more I watch this, the more I believe that Rikara are unfit for each other. Ye kaisi ishqbaazi hai? There no trust or respect, hell even affection in this relationship. Omkara did not even give Gauri the benefit of doubt man, dafuq is this shit. What am I watching? Why am I watching? Koi muje goli maar do pls.😫🔫

[magsy-blog1]

11 Questions tag

hhhhhh thx to my beautiful @cent-dix-huit for tagging me

1. 3 songs u started listening to this week

well maybe not this week but recently i’ve been playing ‘dance like we’re making love’ by ciara, 'gucci’ by jessi and 'dusk till dawn’ by zayn and (my everlasting love) sia on a loop

(also bts’ new album especially mic drop bc dude that shit is LiT)

2. what is your favorite conspiracy theory

what are thooose

(no but srsly tho I legit don’t even know any so answering this is kinda complicated)

3. tell me about a memory that you’d like to keep forever

it’s not exactly like a particular one but every dinner at home when we don’t fight and there’s no tension and nobody shouts and I just make my mom laugh so hard she cries is a tiny, beautiful piece of happiness that I wish sometimes I could record and watch again when things aren’t really at their best

4. your house is on fire! what are the 5 things you take?

(first of thank u so much for making those five and not only one bc I couldn’t have been able to answer)

my plushie (it’s an old worn out elephant but I can’t sleep without it so)

the two rings that look rly alike, are from the same store and were gifted to me by @cent-dix-huit and my mom which I have on basically everyday

my usb flash drive on which there is about everything i’ve written these past sixteen years

my favorite book aka The Great Gatsby

and probably my Pizza oversized sweater (also a present from @cent-dix-huit good god, you really are too good to me)

5. your go-to feel good food?

the kebab place two streets from my school

best fucking meal ever

6. you can meet someone that inspires you, what would you tell them?

i’d meet parris goebel and tell her she has made my love for dance and myself and my body grow so much from the moment i’ve discovered her work up until now; that she has taught me that women can be sexy and provocative and show off their bodies and be perfect, not vulgar, not obscene, not sluts; that I look up to her so much and I admire her art; that there’s quite frankly not much in this wolrd i’d want more than get to dance with her

7. where would u like to be right now?

either at a concert, at a party or under a blanket with @cent-dix-huit, junk food and mamma mia! on her laptop

8. chicken or pork?

uGGgggh u can’t do that to me

chicken but I’m only saying this bc sadly pork isn’t always with caramel while every kind of chicken is always the best kind

9. if you could have a superpower, what would it be and why?

i’ve pretty much wanted to be able to fly since I was a little kid so

idk I just think it’s so cool you know?? i’ve always had this dream of seeing the world from above and it just feels like it would be so great

(on another level i’d very much love to read into ppl’s minds bc srsly, that shit’d be rly useful)

10. what advice would u give 10-year-old you?

brush your hair. seriously, brush it. comb it. do something.

and stop cartwheeling while walking, yes, it’s impressive and kinda cool, but mostly it’s just weird and embarrassing to your parents. and on top of it you’ll get permanent scars on your palms for doing it on all types of surfaces and you really don’t want that.

11. rant a little. let it out.

I’m so sick of people calling others fag or bitch and getting offended, or worse laughing at your face, when you call them out on it because it’s not okay

I’m so sick of people not acknowledging your existence and making you feel insecure about yourself for the rest of the week and believing you did something wrong because you made explicit eye contact and they just turned around while you both clearly know the other was right there

I’m so sick of people saying “don’t eat this, you’re gonna get fat” or “why do you eat so much? you’re gonna get fat” like being fat is some kind of disease absolutely no one wants to catch because then no one would love you - and because I love food and I love eating and i’ve seriously heard this sentence way too much in my life already and I’m sick of it because honestly, I don’t really give a fuck if I get fat as long as I feel good but you’re already making it way too hard for me to like myself the way I am just now, so thank you for ruining my confidence

I’m so sick of people thinking it’s alright to make jokes that are racist/homophobic/misogynistic and brushing it off when I get pissed of with “it’s just a joke” “just between friends” well you know what, jokes about me belonging in the kitchen or gay men being effeminate in a sense that is bad because you shouldn’t be like a woman when you aren’t one because it’s already degrading enough to be one or about black people eating bananas or about asian people having small dicks don’t make me laugh, have never made me laugh and will never make me laugh so yeah, sorry to be such a buzzkill but if you’re gonna do these types of jokes, just don’t

I’m so sick of feeling pressured everyday, to look good, to be cool, to know the right thing to say at the right time with the right people, to not be boring, because honestly all of this requires so much more social aptitudes than I have and I’m already way too tired

I’m sick of people telling me to shut up when I start ranting about feminism because honestly YOU shut up, you absolute piece of shit, I’m actually trying to educate you on something that you do unconsciously and which is really bad and instead of telling me to go back to my stove you should just shut it and listen to me because it’s not because I’m not a boy that my words hold less value

And I’m so sick of this world telling me I have to know what I’m gonna do and work in as a grown-up when I’m barely sixteen and still a kid with a head full of dreams that I really don’t want you to break as well.

Guess that is all lmao, here come my questions, and anyone, just feel free to answer them, love y’all

1. what’s the one thing you’d really want to be like super good at?

2. what’s the movie that always makes you smile so damn much and makes you so damn happy no matter how many times you’ve watched it already?

3. if you had to choose only one fic to read for the rest of your life, which one would it be?

4. what AU would you like to live in?

5. what is the most important lesson life has given you so far?

6. what is your favorite instant noodles flavor I need to know

7. give me some chill songs to listen to plss?

8. do you like anyone?

9. what does family mean to you?

10. if you got to learn a language, which one would it be?

11. if you had one last place to go to before you died, where’d you go?

[despairforme]

[      Appreciation post for @grimmjxw ! I said I was gonna make a separate post to praise Lexie so I’mma do that now. Our muses started interacting in a pretty weird way ( with Nnoitra just bullying Grimmjow as per usual lbh ), but then we got an actual thread going, which was basically Nnoitra dislocating Grimmjow’s shoulder and... Almost killing him. ( boyfriend material tm ). Seeing as I don’t really read other people’s threads all that much, this was the first time that I got to see Lexie’s writing. I immediately became super inspired by the amount of detail and emotion that was put into the replies I was receiving. Not being a native speaker myself, I’ve always struggled to try to match the skill of other roleplayers. I guess Lexie’s writing just really made me wanna try harder? I was having a blast with Nnoitra getting to be all evil too ( i love writing Nnoitra kicking people’s ass tbh ), and now I got to write a ‘ fight thread ‘ with someone who was putting a lot of effort into their writing. So yeah, this was a great experience for me. I guess the thing that made me REALLY love Lexie’s Grimmjow ( in the beginning ), was those short answers that I got in the asks I sent. I think short answers can be really boring, but Lexie’s were not. They were just really in-character, even if they were short. My favourites are these; this one, this one , this one ... tbh I could link all of them. What I love about them is that they made ( MAKE ) me laugh. Grimmjow’s sarcasm is so funny and it fits his character perfectly. Oh, I should mention that I was sending these asks because I found the replies funny. I didn’t use to send people that many asks. I also didn’t really use to pay attention to Grimmjow roleplayers. Simply because I found Grimmjow to be a pretty boring character, and I didn’t understand what the big hype was about him. BUT THAT ALL CHANGED WITH LEXIE’S GRIMMJOW! The short interactions Nnoitra had with Grimmjow was the most fun I had had in the bleach fandom ( ever ), and so Lexie got a bit spammed by asks.... Wops. Nnoitra was having fun bullying him too, so for me, it was a win-win. And then it all got even better! I got to add Lexie on skype and--- 

     Why am I writing this in third person.... I got to add you on skype Lexie, and that was hella nice! I had a good time chatting with you - I always have a good time chatting with you, and one of my fav things about our chats is that we can take a break for hours and it’s not a big deal. I find it hard to keep a chat going with fast replies so it’s nice to be able to get a slow one. When we first started chatting, I wasn’t thinking about shipping with you, because your blog was a single-ship, and of course I didn’t want to get in the way of that. But after we had chatted for a bit we did sort of agree on shipping?? I don’t really remember how we even got to that?? But it wasn’t like we could stop the boys anyways... With Nnoitra putting his hands in Grimmjow’s stomach lmao. 

     AND - This brings me to the thread that started their relationship. It was supposed to just be a challenge, and then it turned into an actual smut-book ( mmmmm ). This was my first time writing smut for Nnoitra in this verse. I never thought he’d actually get intimate with someone. BUT WHAT DO YOU KNOW.... I had a great time writing that thread! Each reply was about 1000 words long ( which is a lot?? ), and we both did one reply per day. I couldn’t believe that someone was actually willing to put in that much effort to write with me! I was absolutely blessed to find someone who was into writing that sort of stuff with me, not to mention a muse who actually liked Nnoitra! I am pretty picky when it comes to people’s writing styles, and it’s rare that I find someone who I have nothing negative to say about, but your writing is one of those. It just fits Grimmjow so perfectly. From the specific words you choose, to how you show his sarcasm even when it’s not direct speech. The emotional rollercoasters he goes through in the internal dialogues, his smug ass remarks... It’s all just too perfect! And it’s all wrapped up in aesthetically pleasing graphics ( i am spoiled, i love pretty graphics ). I considered myself somewhat of a noob at this point so I literally couldn’t believe that someone this cool would want to ship with me???? From there on, our ship has been an amazing ride ( it’s such a blast to write! ). One of my favourite things about it is all the plots we’ve done. Grimmjow being ripped in half, Nnoitra almost killing him, Nnoitra dying, Grimmjow losing his eyes... So much angst! So many emotional moments for Nnoitra! I’m so grateful that you’ve let me put Nnoitra into situations and through emotions that I never imagined him able to have.

     Of course I got to mention our AUs too! I am forever blessed with having a ship in canon-verse. I am, however, a huge sucker for AUs! And so I am REALLY glad that you’ve been willing to do all these AUs with me! ( Also I apologize in advance because I am probably going to come at you with more ideas... ). I love all our AUs! They are really different, but in every one of them Nnoitra looooves Grimmjow so much what the fuck---- Our AUs have allowed me to write Nnoitra in even more different scenarios ( who would ever have imagine him taking care of his sick boyfriend... ). I often come up with more plots and AUs that I wanna try out ( but I try not to overwhelm you with them ), and I’m just so hyped that you want to do these things with me!

     Then, let me talk about your ask-answers. Pretty much always, I receive a long ass answer to one of my asks, and I feel so blessed that you would go through all that trouble to answer something I sent you. And, of course, I get to read your amazing writing with is a treat. I usually read the ask answers many times, and I’ll go back to read some old ones ( even if navigating on mobile is a pain ). My all time favourite is the one where Nnoitra gives Grimmjow Pantera in the sick!au. Grimmjow is just too adorable and I just go: hfwehjasfuiods everytime I read that reply. I don’t even have a count of how many times I’ve read that one.

     Speaking of my favourites - I wanna talk a bit about the whole main human!au thing. The fact that we took such a long time with building up their relationship, starting at the teen!au, makes this one of my all-time favourite roleplay experiences. They were such good friends, and we had the au for like? Almost a year? Before shit went down. The scene were Nnoitra betrays Grimmjow and tries to kill him is one, if not my favourite angst scene that I’ve ever had the pleasure of writing with someone. And this, of course, wouldn’t have been possible without your outstanding writing. I am shitty at pointing out the exact thing that I love so much about how you write angst, but I just ???? Man that scene was so intense and I’ve never felt more for Nnoitra ( or Grimmjow ) than I did that time. I don’t even know how you do it, but you always find a way to make it as sad as possible. I don’t know any writers who can portray emotion as well as you do. And the fact that those emotions are Grimmjow’s emotions only make it that much more impressive. I love the whole end to the teen!au thing ( I miss writing them as teens tho, we need a highschool!au ), and I also love their reunion seven years later! This is set in my main verse for Nnoitra, which I have spent almost three years building, and he has a lot of development in that verse, so I am really hyped to be heading into a ship with Grimmjow in that verse. Especially with their history and Grimmjow’s drug-abuse. I’m seeing a million angsty plots that we could do, so that is a REAL hype!

     Oh, I mustn’t forget to talk about our micro rps! I love them too! Doing short things is a rare thing for me, but sometimes I just don’t have the energy to write longer things, and what better thing to do than to write some random ass flirting on the dash? Grimmjow’s sarcasm is always funny af.

     I also need to mention how much Nnoitra ???? loves Grimmjow ??? I legit never thought he could love anyone this much but holy shit. They have such amazing chemistry and that’s all due to how perfect your Grimmjow portrayal is. I love it so much!!! And so does Nnoitra, as we all know.. Writing Nnoitra being in love with Grimmjow is such a good time, since it’s something I never expected from him, so thank you for writing the perfect Grimmjow!

     With having you as my roleplay-partner, ship-partner and friend, I feel so lucky and blessed. I want you to know that I appreciate all the effort you put into writing this ship, or just your writing in general ( I read pretty much everything you write these days ). It’s always a pleasure and a treat to read what you write. I also want to thank you for taking the time to answer our threads and my asks, and for tagging me in some of the things in your queue! I always get excited when I see my url tagged in something you reblogged for our boys. Oh, and also!!! I yell at your edits when you make edits for them because your graphics are beautiful and I’m so excited for ship things for our ship!!  I think this post got a bit messy and I don’t think I got all my points across but I wanted to at least try to explain to you how much I appreciate you! I know you’ve been struggling with your depression these days. Please take care of yourself ( I always say this, how unoriginal ), and don’t worry at all with taking time to reply to stuff, whether it’s for me or someone else. Everyone will be more than happy to wait for you to feel better, and get back to enjoying writing. Nnoitra will always wait for Grimmjow, and I will always wait for you. - SENDS ALL THE LOVE TO YOU - <5 <5 <5 <5 <5 !!!!!!!! ]

[solienna]

I AM BACK WITH MANY NUMBERS, 1, 5, 8, 10, 16, 17, 21, 22, 26, 28, 31, 35, 39, 43, 45, 46, 48 and 49!!!

1. Your current favorite song: as of right now, the song i’ve been listening to most is probably “i found” by amber run BUT LIKE. the acoustic version. the acoustic version is so much better in my opinion. runner up has gotta be “landslide” by oh wonder

5. A song that reminds you of another period in your life: “the kids aren’t alright” by fall out boy, shout out to the summer of 2016 for making this one of my happy cry songs and shout out to the person who made it this way8. A song you loved when you were a little kid: “you belong with me” by taylor swift. okay look y’all, i’ve talked your ears off about my Thing, which is writing. but my other Thing is singing and music. and like with writing, i took a HUGE break with singing bc i don’t know the fuck why, apparently i hated having fun back then. but before i took that break, i had a singing instructor (who i still have today!! shoutout to him he brought out my real voice and now i won’t shut the fuck up bc i love the sound of my own voice). and we sang a whole bunch of other songs like “somewhere over the rainbow” and like “part of your world” and stuff like that but if you asked me to name a song from pre-hiatus singing lessons this is the one i would name you because it was fucking JAMMING okay, fucking groovy and i loved it. runner up would have to be like “who says” by selena gomez bc that song is BOPPIN’ too. love that song what the hell  10. A song that reminds you of your childhood: “just a dream” by nelly BUT. not by him. by sam tsui and christina grimmie. i listened to this song SO MUCH. in general i loved all of christina’s covers when i was younger but this is the one that STUCK with me. i remember when she was on the voice, i used to religiously watch that show and keep up with it just for her and when she didn’t get first place i was DEVASTATED. i was like WHAT. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!! THIS IS A FLUKE WHAT THE FUCK!!! SHE DESERVES FIRST GET BACK HERE AND COUNT THOSE VOTES AGAIN, THERE’S NO WAY SHE LOST, WHAT ABOUT HER CHEMISTRY WITH ADAM LEVINE!!! i legit called my mom in the room and i was like CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS, and she was like “no mija i can’t” just to humor me. i used to listen to all of christina’s “with love” album and even nowadays i hear the chorus to “absolutely final goodbye” ring out in my head just bc that song was bopping as hell, but that’s beside the point. rest in peace christina grimmie, you were one of my main inspirations for singing, and i always tried to emulate your voice when i sang, i owe a lot of my love of singing to you. runner up song has to be “my dilemma” by selena gomez bc that’s the first song i sang in front of real actual people, first in front of my friends and then at my school talent show. i fucking sucked but you know what i was real narcissistic back then too and i thought i was the hottest fucking shit and that i’d win (i didnt but i had higher self esteem back then too so i didnt really give a shit) 16. A song that makes you want to cry: LMAO i read this one and i was like “ok what sleeping at last song are we gonna pick here adri” but for this one i think i’m gonna go with “west” by sleeping at last, it’s such a soft reassuring song and it just. it just gets me my guy17. A song that makes you want to slay your enemies: “this is war” by 30 seconds to mars. WHEN THAT CHORUS DROPS YOU’RE LIKE W H A T  T H E  H E L L WHAT IS THIS MAJESTY. and the way he sings “a brave new world” at the end just gives me SHIVERS. this could also be considered one of my cry songs just because of how much PASSION is in this song and also bc i’m fucking weird, but this song just gives me a lot of strength idk22. A song that motivates you to work/helps you focus: this is technically an instrumental but WHO CARES, if i can’t conjure up the peace of mind to focus then i just pull up the credits song for unravel. i have never played that game once in my life but the CREDITS SONG. it’s so peaceful and like…. vibrant. idk i’m not very good with words but this is one of my “let’s buckle down and DO SOME WORK” song. especially if i can’t listen to any of my regular songs when i’m writing, this is my go-to writing music.26. A song that reminds you of your favorite fictional character: “superheroes” by the script reminds me of wash and preston a lot28. A song that represents “your aesthetic”: “we’re still here” by sleeping at last. it’s a very soft and reassuring song and it’s why the little name thing on my blog is “we’re still here.” coincidentally its also one of my cry songs because i like rubbing my sad little hands on everything 31. A song that you want to cover (regardless of how much talent you have): “the parting glass” from the assassins’ creed iv: black flag soundtrack. LOOK. LOOK HERE ALL OF YOU. THIS GAME STUCK WITH ME. THIS WAS THE FIRST AC GAME I EVER PLAYED AND IT STUCK WITH ME SO BAD. THE ENDING. IT HAD ME IN TEARS, AND THIS SONG JUST MADE IT 10X WORSE. I WAS STRAIGHT UP SOBBING AT 3AM BC I STAYED UP LATE JUST PLAYING THIS GAME AND I WAS CALLING FEEBLY OUT INTO THE NIGHT “NO…..! NO IT CANT BE OVER! NOT LIKE THIS!” don’t even ask me how many times i’ve listened to this song, it’s gotta be like 1500 times at this point, i used to listen to music on repeat on this site that COUNTED how many times you repeated that song just to SHAME you with how small your pool of music was, and this was my most listened to song. i just LOVE her voice in this and i love the lyrics to this song. unfortunately i can’t sing any fucking high notes bc im a useless alto but thats beside the point 35. A song that sends chills down your spine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZS0WIQI7UU, when you hear this….. you know nothing good can come from it39. Your favorite instrumental (no lyrics/singing) song: i don’t have a favorite instrumental but like…. the whole skyrim soundtrack is composed of instrumentals so i’m just gonna say the skyrim soundtrack. this is my main writing music btw43. A song that makes you laugh: //runs into the room, DONUT: THE MUSICAL FROM THE S9 SOUNDTRACK, //runs out of the room46. A song that you wish more people knew about: https://soundcloud.com/bangingdonk/sick-airshot i lied this is actually my favorite song, i wish more people knew about it. nah but like. probs “do it” by tuxedo, its a fucking bopping song and i love it. lucio would listen to this song48. A song that you can’t help but sing along: I  G O T  S P U R S  T H A T  J I N G L E  J A N G L E  J I N G L E

49. A song whose lyrics you have memorized: “always” by panic! at the disco. this is probably like my second favorite song ever and its so soft and i’ve listened to it so many times, dont test me i love this song