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ghostieyanyan · 1 year ago

Note

If you don’t mind, which yandere twst boys do you see being most likely to exploit a mentally exhausted prefect to kidnap them?

To clarify, I think it can be argued that the prefect would be absolutely done with NRC after six life-or-death situations due to the overblots on top of being forced to adapt to education system of another world and putting up with the quality of students at NRC. You can’t tell me that a school full of villains would treat the only magicless student well. That just screams prime opportunity to manipulate the prefect into leaving NRC to go somewhere “safer” with one of the boys.

Once again, I’m just curious about your thoughts so don’t feel pressured to respond!

yes yes yes!!!

poor perfect tired to the bone from crowly and the other students. if only there was a knight and shining armor that can come and save them.

No longer an accidentally post! But I mean it did help me finish it lol

~Mental-Exhausted!Mc~

Yan!Riddle x mc

Yan!Leona x mc

Yan!Jamil x mc

Yan!Lilia x mc

Warnings: yandere, kidnapping, drug use (shrink potion), abusive behavior, chains, collar, gag, parenthood (gender-neutual), gritting teeth(?) (I know some people hate it so ill put it in here), not a lot of proof-reads,

~~~~~

Riddle

yes, riddle was the first overblot (technically) and after his overblot, he felt awful about how he behaved. he was supposed to look after Heartslaybu but he ended up becoming his mother. he hated himself for that.

So now, not only is he taking better care of his dorm, with the help of his dorm. but whenever he sees you, he tries his best to check up on you.

How are you? Do you need help with any school assignments? etc.

they all had sweet intents at first but over time, you started to look drain.. like the life was sucked right out of you. when he asked ace and deuce, they confirmed that you were just tired of all the overblots and being crowley's lap dog. if only he knew how to help you...

at first he asked, trey and cater about how he should help you. they were mature enough to know, right?

cater, being cater, teased him on "having a crush on the perfect" or how he phrased it "oooohhh you are down bad!! lol" whatever that means...

Trey said that maybe ask the perfect if they do need help. but Riddle knows the perfect, they'll say they're fine even when they're not..

riddle felt lost and swallowed his pride as he dials his mother's number.

his mother was furious with the fact that riddle was facing an issue he cant fix himself but what she said about perfect shocked him.

"well.. maybe if this perfect isn't as perfect as their title, maybe they don't belong in Night Raven College!"

with that... the call ended.

now that he wasn't being held by his mother's strings, he saw red...! no one talks about his perfect like that! but.. she has a point.. (which makes him more frustrated) if perfect is miserable here... maybe they shouldn't be attending NRC. but where would they go...?

when he thought about that, he realized he didn't really want to be away from you... you mean too much to him.

so later that day, he requested you to join him in his room, he need to talk to you. you agreed cause why would you be cautious with someone you trust, plus you were too tired to worry about how strange the request was. he gave you tea and asked if you were okay.. you said yes, just stressed with some classes and drank you tea. it tasted... off.

you feel yourself shrinking.. you were shrinking!

you looked at riddle and he was just smiling at you! he picked you up and placed you into a tea pot.

"it'll be okay, my dear. once i graduate and get us a nice home, we'll live our happy lives away from this stress and... toxic poison. But for now, you'll have to behave. i love you, my dear"

~~~~~

Leona

Whether you noticed him or not, Leona watches you run back and forth, from hallway to hallway. Kinda like a mouse running around for food but also staying hidden. Sometimes your running around helps him sleep or just ease him to a zen.

He'd normally wouldn't bat an eye because you're just a lap dog for that crow. But after time has past. He watched as you get slower, more exhausted. like you're pushing to prove something. It ercked him more than he would like. It hit too close to home for him.

When he finally was able to approach you on the matter, you looked like your soul was taken from you. Something within just snapped. He had enough of this. He made the call and suddenly, savanaclaw students came to your side and dragged you to leona's room. If you try to resist, Leona lucky told them to not hurt you too badly. But accidents happens. With their rough handling, you blacked out.

You wake up with a pretty collar around your neck and a chain attach to it? You look around and this is not your ramshackle room. You tried to sit up for a better look and get quick pulled down by the chain collar. It nearly broke your neck! But Leona would say you're being dramatic.

"Quick moving, im trying to sleep.."

You looked and saw Leona. He was laying on your chest and his legs were holding your legs down. He was like a strange weighted blanket. He wasn't in his school uniform but looks like he's in home attire?

"Where are we, leona..?"

You said, scared cause your literally in the hands of a lion that could kill you really quick..

He ears twitched and he looked up at you, bored. But he let out a smirk.

"Were home~"

It took you a minute to process what he said... home? Apparently your confused was evident on your face and leona let out a long sigh. He moved or above you, pining you down.

"Were at Sunset Savanna palace and WE are both gonna be staying here until I can trust you'll be a good obedient herbivore and stay by my side."

You were lost for words and unconsciously started to struggle under leona. Trying to push him off, kicking your legs, he got really annoyed when you accidentally pinched his tail with the bed and your foot.

His retaliation was to slam you down, knocking the wind out of your lungs. As you were gasping for air, he bit you really hard on your throat. You let out a silent scream. You thought you were going to die. This was your last moment of life.

Leona eventually let's go but quickly replacing his fangs with his hand.

"You WILL be obedient... do I make myself clear.."

That wasn't a question.. it was a demand.

~~~~~

Jamil

Jamil hardly noticed you.. PERIOD.

He's busy not only taking care of scarabia but also their housewarden. While his housewarden takes the credit.. he hated it. And the fact his housewarden is so happy go lucky to him too. Makes his blood boil!!

Jamil truly believed that no one would feel his pain, his struggles.. because everyone sees Kalim "success" before anything!

You and Jamil were in the housewarden meeting, well on the outside of the office during the meeting. Jamil had to be there because Kalim and you were there for Crowley...

You both had a quick moment until you asked him hows he been? He lends his head back against the wall and sighs. You laugh at his actions.

"I get that, hehe"

His eye twitched.

"Do you now..?"

"Heh.. I really do. I'm here for Crowley, even tho he's the Headmage. He's like a spoiled brat with responsibility... and HE knowing more about this world, and the work he does for it, more than I do. But nooo... he still gives it to me!"

Jamil stares at you as you vent about your stress and struggles in NRC. He honestly thought that your life is harder than his! How on the seven do you-?

The doors to the office opens and you and jamil both stand up. The other housewardens walked off and kalim ran to jamil, like a parent picking up their kid in kindergarten.

Jamil sighs, seeing kalim's face makes him exhausting... he quickly looks at you, not turning his head to not make it obvious. You were walking into Crowley's office as he hands you a big stack of papers. He practically saw the light in your eyes fade... he HAS to do something.. but what?

A few days past and he just watched you get more exhausted. The more he watches you the more his feelings for you grows. And the more he watched you get degraded the more he wants to set the world on fire for you..

You couldn't hold a conversation as long as you use to now! What is Crowley making you do?

His hand balled into fist. Then he get an idea.. he's always wanted to do this but never thought about it, there will be come changes to the plan with you in it but it could work!

It was in the evening and he stopped by the Ramshackle dorm. With shaking hands he knocked. He can't believe he's gonna do it.

You answer and he quick took out a cloth from his pocket and covered your mouth. Your struggles were pointless with his strength and your muffled screams wasn't going to be heard by anyone since you practically lived in the middle of nowhere. You went limp and he smile grew.

You woke up, chained, gaged, and blindfolded. You didn't know where you were you were so scared.. but you hear foot steps...

"Good morning, my little desert flower~ im sorry I had to contain you like this, I can't risk anymore seeing you. But once we leave the Isle of Sages, ill let you see."

~~~~~

Lilia

Lilia has been watching you since that first day you came here. How much chaos your presence cause, not including Grims presence, was amazing.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel something for you after that first day.

Whenever you're doing anything, he watches. And if hes busy, he has his bats watch you instead. They'll report any and everything about you. Including the dark circles appear under your eyes.

To say he was a little pissed... was an understandment. How dare the Crow hurt someone he cared for..

Lilia had half a mind to just get rid of Crowley with a big display of his remand.. but his kids will be scar so probably not.

He'd would think about if for a bit and told himself, why not just take you to live in Briar Valley? You could live there and he'd support you and care for you. You have a caring personal type with how much you take care of those first years.

You'll make a perfect parent...

Lilia stopped by Ramshackle dorm for a "surprised visit". You thought his strange behavior was just lilia being a strange guy? Meanwhile lilia felt like he was young again when he's with you. He felt shy and anxious. He was all fidgety and not making 100% eye contact with you.

Oh by the seven, you stir something within him and its not unwelcomed.

"Lilia? I don't mean to be rude but.. umm... why are you here..? You kinda came at a bad time.. Crowley has some paper work he wants me to fill out for him.."

Lilia fidgeting stop and if you had his super hear, you'd hear him grit his teeth for a moment.

He flips around suddenly and gets a unsettling smile.

"I came because I just remembered a old story and I wanted to tell someone before it slips my mind!"

You stared at Lilia but nodded for him to continue.

"Do you remember when I told you about the story of the Thorn Fairy? And how she put a curse on this cute little human~?"

With every word he spoke, he got closer to you.. you tried to make some distance but it quickly was put to a halt when lilia grabbed your arm.

"L-ilia.. You're hurting me.."

You tried to pull away but nothing can compete with Lilia's strength.

"Did I also tell you that with skill and focus, a powerful mage, can change the effect of such a powerful spell~?"

You're particularly trembling at this point. He got up really close to you and he shows you a small sewing needle.

"I promise, it won't be too long. Just long enough for everyone to stop looking for you~"

{I didn’t give Lilia an art piece because I drew something similar already}

#twst fanart #twst #twst headcanons #twst wonderland #disney twst #yandere twst #art #digital art #disney twisted wonderland #twst x reader

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invidiia · 2 years ago

Text

❐ - yandere!dazai and yandere!chuuya comforting the reader on their period

notes ; headcanons for anyone else who on their period rn </3 the worst thing ever tbh.. this is kinda self indulgent

prompt ; dazai and chuuya's (separate) darling gets their period and they comfort them

warnings ; yandere themes, blood, kidnapped!reader, drugging, ada!dazai, soft!yan chuuya and dazai, mentions of sex but no actual doing it, mention of stalking, afab reader, toxic relationships

masterlist - rules - last post

dazai ::

it's not like you can hide your period from dazai, especially if he kidnapped you.

dazai doesn't know a ton about periods - sure, he knows that they existed, but he didn't think the situation through when he first kidnapped you. he didn't buy pads or anything in advance when he first decided to take you for himself, so when he woke up to see blood on the sheets under you, dazai was a tiny bit surprised.

but not entirely - he should have known the time of your month would roll around soon enough. dazai wasn't mad or upset at all.

"ah.. belladonna, why didn't you tell me about this? no, i'm not mad at you! i think this means no sex for.. how long?! i don't think i'll surviivee~!"

just ignore his wailing and you'll probably be fine

dazai's not actually upset, he really does wanna help you. he'll wrap you in a blanket while he goes to leave for the store, poking your cheek and smiling a little too softly while he tells you to be good while he's gone

he doesn't have bad intentions or anything, he's just being overly nice to you because he just feels like it

he comes back from the store with whatever you neeed, he probably asked a female member of the agency or a worker or someone else who knew what to get for you, because there is absolutely no way in hell he actually knows what to buy

but he definitely came back with a few things that you liked!! no point in asking how he knew you liked the stuff, because he'll just say he stalked you, and that might just make you more uncomfortable. best not to question him!!

he sees your cramp pain as an excuse to hold and touch you more. he doesn't care that you're bleeding the entire time, dazai just likes that he can hold you!

of course, he realizes that cuddles don't stop the cramping - he just thinks it'll help a lot more. dazai get's super touchy and clingy because he knows that you're less likely to resist. even if you do, he doesn't mind unless you insult him, because then he'll just lock you in the bathroom with water and some of the snacks he bought you to give you some 'alone time.' after about an hour or two, he's sure you'll come back into his arms!! <3

oh, belladonna, i thought you didn't want to cuddle, and now you're holding onto me..? no matter, i'm glad you've finally came around.. is there anything you want?

chuuya ::

chuuya also knows about periods and what they are, but he knows a little bit more about them than dazai, because he's just him yk?? he's that dude (other than jay from the kubz scouts)

when he first woke up to you next to him with blood under you, he thought you were hurt or something, but then when he woke you up, you had to explain to him that you just got your period and that you were fine.

by your argument, chuuya made a big deal out of it, but by chuuya's, he was just helping you feel better.

"darling, stop movin', i'm just trying to make you feel better.. what? yeah.. yeah, i'll get whatever you want, okay?"

if you yell at him, he'll just give you space. of course he'll still get you what you want, he'll just be.. less doting.

he'll even go as far to ignore you. so while you're wailing in pain from your cramps, chuuya's sitting down comfortably on the couch, reading and paying no attention to your little sobs from the pain of your cramps. it's really just a toxic thing - he doesn't wanna see you in such pain, he really doesn't. but why should he be so kind to you if you don't want to be nice?

i can imagine an argument breaking out between you two, because he can't ignore you forever. if you decide to yell at him again, then he'll just yell back.

chuuya might even just drug you to shut you up, offering you tea or medicine to help you feel better. but five minutes later, you're out like a light while he picks up your body to wrap you up back in blankets.

you'll probably wake up with arms wrapped around your waist with his knee inbetween your thighs. chances are, you're still affected by the drug and too tired to move or push him off. he understands that cuddling doesn't fully stop the cramp pain, but he doesn't care, because all chuuya wants to do is help you.

"don't move.. it's okay. just go back to sleep. i love you, okay?"

#klya..writes #yandere dazai x reader #yandere dazai osamu #yandere osamu dazai #yandere chuuya nakahara #yandere chuuya x reader #chuuya x reader #dazai x reader #bsd x reader #yandere bsd x reader #tw yandere #tw stalking #tw d

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mikalara-dracula · 1 year ago

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(nsfw-ish) Hiii can you make headcanons for the diaboys when they have a wet dream of their s/o?

💦🥵 When the Diaboys have a wet dream of their s/o—

Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor and aren't comfortable with slight NSFW, sexual arousal, and orgasm-related concepts. This is a fictional work and should not be taken seriously.

Caution: Unfortunately, Tumblr has a history of admins quarreling over completing carbon copy asks due to users sending the same request(s) to multiple admins, thus, resulting in unintentional plagiarism. With this, please DO NOT send the same request to multiple blogs as it can cause unintended plagiarism discord to other blogs across Tumblr. The word “plagiarism” stems from the early 17th-century Latin word, “plagiarius,” meaning “kidnapper.” So please, do not send in the same request to multiple blogs and make admins appear to be “kidnapping” other people’s work when it isn’t their intention. If this is to occur with any of my posts, please contact me so we can work something out.

Hi there, Anon!

Thank you so much for requesting! I'm very sorry for the long wait! I hope you enjoy reading it. Feel free to request again anytime. :)

Created with: @liannelara-dracula

Before we get into this scenario, let’s get into some context about it:

Scientifically speaking, wet dreams or sleep orgasms don’t have to necessarily be caused by having erotic dreams.

However, because the Diaboys are not human, I think this applies to them a bit differently.

@liannelara-dracula and I think that because they’re immortal, having wet dreams is ONLY caused by having erotic dreams.

And because an immortal’s senses and feelings are known to be heightened compared to a human’s, let’s just say their wet dreams are a bit, well . . . messy.

And by “messy” we mean to the point where the sheets have a big stain on them.

Anyways, let’s go on to the hcs.

Shu:

He was kinda confused when he woke up because he did not see it coming.

I mean, unexpectedly finding this big stain on his pants and bed?

At first, since you were sleeping next to him, he honestly thought you wet the bed.

Asshole.

It took him a minute to realize that that wasn’t the case and that he was the cause of this mess.

Although, it definitely didn’t stop him from waking you up and accusing you for it.

“See what you did? You couldn’t control yourself.”

“Shut up! You’re the one with wet pants.”

Knowing he couldn’t get you to believe otherwise, he changed subject.

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Just clean the sheets.” He’d say, closing his eyes, attempting to drift off again.

“Shu, you’re not some baby where I have to wipe your ass for you.”

Being the smartass he is, he’d smirk, “Well . . . .”

Knowing he was being an ass, you’d instantly grab a nearby pillow and start hitting him with it, to which he’d just laugh since he’d find your reaction amusing.

Reiji:

He never thought he’d wake up this way.

I mean, wet because of you?

He never saw this coming obviously.

And he was so embarrassed by it.

And to make matters worse, you walked in and he instantly threw a blanket over himself and the bed stain.

"Good morning, Reiji. Did you sleep well?” You’d ask.

In a tense tone, and with the blanket up to his neck, he’d reply, “Yes.”

Noticing that his response seemed off, you questioned, “Are you okay?"

"Of course!" He'd quickly respond, attempting to keep calm under the pressure of keeping you in the dark about this. “Just give me a few minutes, dear.”

“ . . . Okay.” You’d say walking out, giving him his privacy.

Reiji sighed in relief, and couldn’t think straight for the rest of the day.

He found it so hard to be around you and ended up making himself a tea to calm him down.

Dude should’ve smoked a cigarette after that dream lmao. xDD

You kept asking if he was alright since found his behavior to be bit weird, but nevertheless, he just kept to himself.

“Reiji, are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes, yes!” He’d reassure, a bit jittery in response despite his collective nature. In hopes of changing the subject and to keep you from asking further questions, he’d deter by keeping you busy. “Now then, let us go for a walk, dear.”

Laito:

Is not bothered by it.

He's had so many wet dreams anyways considering how long he's been around.

But he’s a little sad that what he was dreaming about was over and that it couldn’t continue.

“Aw, what a shame. We could’ve taken things to the next level.”

He even keeps tallies on how many wet dreams he’s had.

"Well, here’s another one to the list."

He even writes about the dreams that caused them.

He’s amused whenever he has one

But unlike some of his brothers, he’s able to get through the day quite normally, almost like it never happened.

Unless of course he saw you for the day and you did something super suggestive, then it takes everything in him to act composed.

He looks forward to the next time it happens and may try to make it happen by fantasizing about you before going to bed.

But honestly, when is he not fantasizing about you?

Kanato:

Finds it to be a pain since he “wet” himself and finds it a bit annoying.

Definitely wants to be alone when having to handle his wet pants and sheets.

Like, if someone knocks on his bedroom door, he yells at them to get lost.

He doesn't even want the servants cleaning it up because he finds it humiliating.

"They're not worthy enough to see this."

Knowing you caused this, he is beyond sexually frustrated and upset at you.

He literally cannot eat sweets without thinking about what happened.

He’ll be in such a grumpy mood that day.

But if you provoke him, he’ll pounce on you instantly.

Ayato:

He didn’t even know it happened, like, he was very much out of it.

He just kept sleeping on it and sooner than later, he finally sat on the edge of his bed, feeling heavy and not ready to take off for night school.

Laito walked in to tell him to get ready for school since they were already running late.

Of course, with Laito being Laito, he noticed Ayato’s state and had to tease him for it.

“Y’know brother, I thought we were much past you wetting the bed.”

“What are you—oh my god!” Until that point, Ayato hadn’t even noticed and it had been pointed out to him.

Embarrassed, he quickly grabbed his uniform, running towards the bathroom to change as he swore to brother, who was only amused by this situation. “This stays between me and you man. No one else can know.”

Subaru:

Oh shit! You were sleeping next to him when it happened

So how does he cover it up?

It’s simple—he can’t!

He turned red af.

He just couldn’t believe it happened, especially with you being right next to him.

Runs into the bathroom to hide himself.

“Subaru, it’s okay. It’s just-,”

“Leave me alone!”

Kino:

Isn't ashamed at all.

In fact, he's just amused that you had this effect on him while unconscious.

"Hey babe, look what you did to me."

Blushing hard, you covered your face, not being able to bear with the situation.

“Kino, please just change.”

Ruki:

Isn’t bothered by it, even if you're there sleeping next to him or not.

Is only going to act on it if you make a big deal about it.

“You keep complaining, but you’re the cause of this. You should be paying for this.” He’d saying coming out of the shower only in a towel.

“But I never said anything! You’re not being fair!”

“Oh really?” He’d say mischviously, pulling his sheet of the bed only to throw it at you to get you “wet.”

“Stop!” You’d yelp as you tried to dodge the wet spot of the sheet from touching you as he laughed.

“Eww! Oh my god, Ruki!” You’d exclaim.

He’d laugh approaching you, “C’mere.”

You’d back away in fear, “No, I don’t trust you!”

If you're not there, he's gonna be blaming you for it all day long in his mind.

Is going to let you pay for it by leaving you sexually frustrated for the day with some intimate activity he’ll initiate and then abandon, not allowing you achieve satisfaction.

“It’s only fair after what you did to me.”

Kou:

Like Shu, he woke up confused, but quickly realized what had happened.

Recollecting, that dream was steamy, leaving him to comment on it.

“Oh, that explains it.”

Wishes you could see what you did to him.

"Damn, I wish she was here."

Instead, he sent a picture to you about the wet sheets with the caption, “Look what you did to me last night.”

To which would lead you facepalm and leave him on read. xDD

Wants to try out what happened in his dream with you and will flat up try to ask you about it.

“Hey babe, why don’t we-,”

Knowing what he’d want, you’d be quick to deny, “No!”

Yuma:

When he woke up, he was kinda pissed.

Not because he dreamt about you, but because he’d have to clean the sheets since everyone does their own laundry in the Mukami household.

"Ah, shit." He'd hiss, looking at the wet sheets. "I knew I shouldn't of gone to bed thinkin’ of her."

And to his dismay, Kou walked in on him and this scene, and because Kou’s an ass, he has to tease Yuma about it.

“Damn, someone was thinking real hard last night.” He’d joke around.

“Why you!” He’d say, chasing Kou out of his room.

And if it wasn’t Kou who was in his case about this, someone else was bound to.

When Yuma got down to the laundry room, Ruki decided to have his fun because once he saw the sheet Yuma was putting into the washer, he couldn’t help himself.

“I’m surprised you’re washing the sheets earlier this week, Yuma.”

“Yeah, well, they needed a change.” Yuma would say, attempting to the situation up.

“I see. I guess with Y/N on your mind you’re bound to wash them more often.”

Knowing that Ruki had figured it out, Yuma would retort, “Tch!” leaving Ruki to smirk as he walked out of the laundry room.

And knowing Kou, he’d probably have a picture as well of Yuma when he experienced this.

Or, to make matters worse, he’ll just tell you about it when he arrives at school.

“Hey, Y/N, guess what?!” Kou would yell from across the hall.

“You asshole!” Yuma would react, threantening Kou to keep silent, “Shut up before I throw you outta one of these windows!”

Azusa:

He didn’t understand what happened when he woke up.

It took his brothers to explain to him.

“Oh . . . so that’s what . . . it is?” Azusa would comprehend.

Since he was given an explanation, he was happy you were in his thoughts since he finds no better way to sleep.

He hopes he’ll have more of these experiences since they’re centered around his one and only Eve.

"I wonder if . . . she has . . . wet dreams . . . about me? . . . I guess I'll . . . never know."

Carla:

Good lord, what did you do to make him wet?

He covers it up and pretends that it didn't happen.

He cannot live with himself right now.

And if has to see you that day, he’s not ready to face you.

All he can think about is what you two were doing in his dream.

“Carla, are you alright?” You’d ask finding his behavior to be a little off that day.

“The King of Founders is just fine.” He’d assert, ever so calmly.

“Okay, but you’re acting really weird today.”

“How is that?”

“Well, you seem tense.” Based on this, you further offered, “Do you want a massage?”

Just thinking of your touch on him was enough to make him lose his composure, so he’d refuse despite wanting one.

“No, no, it’s fine, really.”

And if you by any chance do something that turns him on, he’s not gonna be composed anymore.

He’ll give up and try to get you to the bed, or will just take you on a random surface.

Shin:

He blames you 100% and doesn’t care if you find it embarrassing.

Given how the morning is starting off between you both, he isn’t going to let it go.

“The one who should be complaining is me, after all it is uncomfortable to be left with such thoughts.”

“No, what’s worse is knowing just how deep your mind travels to something like that!” You’d argue, blushing at the thought.

“You should be honored that you were in my thoughts, love.” He’d smirk, making you shocked as you’d throw a pillow at him.

“I would be if it was in the sense of sentiment!” You’d retort, looking away.

“But making love to you is sentimental, even in my dreams.” He’d tease leaning closer to you, leaving you to blush harder as he laughed.

Not being able to take it much longer, you’d try changing the subject, “Would you just clean up already?!”

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annabelle--cane · 6 months ago

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Sorry if this is weird but I’m working on this book that feels like my first substantial foray into literature, and I’m really proud of it. But it’s also a lot of work and my life is…life, so I get into motivational slumps a lot.

Lately I’ve been like “But think of the random thoughtful tumblr posts (by people like you) where they realize something I was trying to say, or reveal some new way to read the text entirely!” and it gets me through the slumps.

If you published a work with a lot of hidden messages and metaphors, would you want to tell people what you meant? Would you correct people if they got it wrong?

I used to think I would tell everyone EXACTLY what things meant. It has always been frustrating to me when authors are vague as hell about their meanings behind things. But now writing this story, I kinda want to see how much people catch on to. If I write it well enough, they’ll get all the main ones. But maybe some of them will only get one or two! And there’s like a puzzle network of understanding in your audience!

I think I’d correct them if their interpretations were somehow harmful, but that would also mostly be about figuring out how those messages came out of the text so it doesn’t happen again.

saur. my answer to these questions are layered, and I'm going to answer them kind of out of order.

as an audience member, about 70% of the time I really enjoy hearing what authors have to say about their work. it can often point me to areas of consideration that I hadn't really been focusing on before, and creators usually care a lot about their text and have paid great attention to it and so their opinions are often well-informed and consider all angles. and then that other 30% of the time I hear what an author has to say about their work and it's like we're discussing completely different things, and I'm sure they meant to write their work to come off a certain way, but something appears to have gotten hideously lost in translation because that is Not what I read. and I sit there like 😬 you don't know him (this story you wrote) like I do 😬 .

as an english lit student, I could not care less what authors have to say about their work. the text is the text, the book is in my hand, and sure, I might look into what commentary an author has made, but that is ultimately superfluous to my analysis and I'll treat it with exactly the same weight as any other interpretation I come across. if I can back up my argument with evidence and criticism then no one can tell me I'm wrong, including the author. overall I don't think someone can actually be "wrong" about their interpretation of an art work as long as they have sufficient supporting evidence. if a meaning has been successfully put into the text then it's there and I will be able to find it, and if it hasn't then no amount of creator commentary will insert it post hoc.

as a creative writer, this is one of the main things that I think peer review and workshopping is really useful for. as a little story time, I took a creative writing class last year and submitted a piece for workshop that I thought was truly just an embarrassingly unsubtle fairytale-esque allegory for addiction, where the protagonist is in a toxic but thrilling relationship with a tricksy fairy named poppy who will bring them to intoxicating magical ballrooms out in the woods, but only at the cost of all their human relationships and, eventually, their own physical wellbeing. only one person in the class got the metaphor, and this told me that a) wow my experiences are not universal, and b) during revisions I should focus on making the story substantial enough on its own that readers can enjoy it even if they don't twig anything about the fairy literally being named poppy.

a lot of other people in that class got feedback on their work about interpretations they didn't intend, and depending on how wildly a reading varied from their intention they would then try and remove whatever made that reading possible in subsequent edits and emphasize what they actually meant. of course, you can't write for your hypothetical worst audience who will actively disinterpret your work as much as possible, but if you've got a workshop group or just a few friends that you think are reasonable readers then I'd recommend sharing what you've got with them and hearing what they're getting from it.

as a person in fandom, oh my god do I not want to touch anything with a ten foot pole if the author goes around correcting audience interpretation, because that makes for an absolutely insufferable fan environment. even when authors are aware of fan culture and try to phrase their gripes with their work's reception as inoffensively as possible, it can still shut down a lot of creative spirit and galvanize fandom hall monitors into taking matters into their own hands. and most authors aren't even that nice about it.

to sum up what I would do (might eventually do? depending on how my life works out?) were I to publish something for wide release, I think I would want to do fairly regular peer review to double check that what I'm writing isn't completely out of alignment with what I want it to be, and I'd probably write some of my own interpretation of my work but keep it out of the way enough that it's clearly not meant to be taken as part of the work itself, and be very clear that my relation and reaction to the text is based on my own mind and life experiences and may not line up with others', and that's fine.

#eatingrosescollab #answered

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ricesinspo · 4 months ago

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☆ — art tips that have helped me. by @ricesinspo

these tips are based on my own experience as an artist who draws as a hobby. i've found that learning art is not as simple as just "practice" and "fundamentals", so here are 7 tips that worked for me!

— ☆ —

[★] when doing art studies, use them immediately in an art piece

this way, the knowledge sticks better rather than just being forgotten.

[★] learn things one at a time

for example, if you want to work on coloring / shading, use a subject you already know how to draw well instead of something completely new. this way, you can focus on the coloring / shading without having to worry about how the subject looks on top of that.

you can only take in so much information at a time, if you try to learn many things at once it's going to be more difficult.

[★] look at other people's art (speedpaints, tutorials, etc.)

pay attention to how they do things. try new techniques and see what sticks.

(disclaimer that should go without saying: referencing / tracing for practice is not the same as posting traced art and claiming it as yours / not crediting.)

[★] be specific when practicing

look at your old art and think about what parts of it you want to change / work on / improve on.

[★] Enjoy it!!!

love what you do!!! dont think too much about improvement!!! set yourself free!!! sometimes you just gotta go for it and do the thing!! love the process!! embrace the mistakes!!

yes, it is really difficult (and i'm still working on it), and improvement might be slower than if you just learn 'fundamentals', but as i learned to enjoy the process i started seeking improvement because i actually wanted to rather than only practicing because everyone else said so!!! this way, it's less boring and less likely to burn you out.

try not to worry about fitting in / standing out / being good / whatever!! your art is YOURS and it's YOU!!! thats whats important!!!

[★] on: art style

'normal / realistic' and 'completely unique' styles are both unrealistic ideals to achieve. if you can achieve it great! if not that's fine!! your style doesn't have to have realistic proportions and 'normal' features. your style doesn't have to be completely indistinguishable from everyone else's either.

(and to the "it's not an art style, it's a mistake" crowd: art mistakes are not unforgivable either!! whether it's an intentional stylistic choice that people think is okay to dunk on for some reason, or actually just a mistake, it's fine!! it's just part of the process, and sometimes also the result, and that's fine!!!!!!

if you want to fix your art mistakes by all means go for it, my point is: when you make a mistake in art (or if it generally doesn't look 'right'), sometimes you're inclined to fix it, sometimes it's a "that's unintentional but it looks cool" kinda situation. whichever one it ends up being is up to you, not internet randos who have nothing better to do with their time.)

[★] take every art tip with a grain of salt (including these ones)

if it doesn't work for you, drop it

— ☆ —

this is a formatted version of these tips that i shared on my main blog. putting these here with some changes so it's easier to read. (i realize these are all 'just practice' but With Depth, but imo the reason why 'just practice' isn't effective in the first place is because it's not specific, and the Depth is what makes it a "good tip")

#art inspiration #art resources #art tips #art help #art advice #art tutorial #resources #tutorial #ricesinspo #bonus tip: try the actual tip first before commenting that it's helpful #that being said id love to know if these tips actually work for people other than me #feel free to rb or comment if youve tried these!

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painting-warhammer · 9 months ago

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Magus in the style of Queen (Deltarune)

Definitely a messier one, and a drop in quality. Really just the result of me wanting to have a fun figure I did on the side for a series I'm obsessed with. Commentary under cut.

For practice figures, literally what I will do is just go through the Games Workshop store, see a figure and then realize "holy crap... I could paint this like [_____] from a series I like!", or in other words, how every Warhammer fan over 40 paints their Tyranids as the xenomorphs. It ends up being the equivalent of a mini-painting "doodle" or "warmup" in between working on the "real" army. I don't really think about or worry over making a larger "thematically connected" army.

What's kinda sad is that, with Queen in particular, I actually did buy another Genestealer Cultist figure with the intent to paint them as a Deltarune character. I have a primed Abominant that I was planning to paint as Lancer and the King.

Even separately from that, I considered having Lancer on his bike as an Atalan Jackal. But you'd have to get a full set of five, and honestly I just want the one popping a wheelie.

Not to mention, goddammit, that now I actually have Green Stuff. I shouldn't have primed them! I could have connected the hammer to his stomach and made the spade... at the very least, I should have given them their coneheads. Damn.

Anyways, Queen. Not a lot to say, you can see paint going over the lines and somehow only the wineglass-turned-staff is the only good looking part. I didn't busy myself too much with details and I think this was unfinished; I don't remember what state I considered this to be in when I last touched it a year ago. I might give some shade to the gown and the head, and boots and cowl deserve an edge highlight or two. Apologies to trypophobes when it comes to whatever the fuck my primer did to the inside of her thigh...

It's also to kinda say fixing her up is not my top priority. I finally have enough figures in my actual army to play the game (this took LITERALLY three years) so that's where my focus is going to be. That's not to say no forever, but it is to say TTFN.

What I was really hyped about was the base. I took a copy of Fairly Oddparents: Breakin' Da Rules for Game Boy Advance, an absolutely awful Megaman clone that will not be missed. and then sanded it down until it was just small enough to be based. I drew with a marker the relative circumference I had to get it to. I suppose I could have freehanded the wires but I'm sick of my bases being dirt and debris, I wanted something nice. Only problem was the glue gun definitely made a big ol' gap between the base and the basing.

I think most of the fun of this one was daydreaming about how this fits in the 40K universe. Her standing on a microchip is probably impossible, that's only a factor of her being the size of one in real life, but who knows. I imagine that she's from a Genestealer Cult that had infected a Forgeworld, specifically. I think there are gameplay mechanics to venerate a bug version of the Omnissiah? Don't know for sure.

That's all for now! If you have started following me or read my other posts, thank you for all the notes across all of them. It's very humbling; I really don't think these are very good and I think any goodwill is based on who they are rather than any ability/talent rendering those people. The next few posts are going to be my actual army and the lore I wrote up for them, but that doesn't mean that's the end of the "[Warhammer Character] in the style of [Thing From Franchise]" posts. I have three that are started and unfinished, and I might do touchups or even outright re-dos of the previous ones I've posted. Thank you for your support. I don't do this for cash [what Warhammer fan can?] or clout so getting even a like has been very encouraging and flattering.

#Queen Deltarune #Deltarune Queen #Deltarune #Q5U4EX7YY2E9N #Delta Rune #Genestealer Cults #Magus #Painting Warhammer #Games Workshop #Warhammer #Warhammer 40K #WarhammerCommunity #Warhammer 40000 #WH40K #WH 40K #Warhammer Painting #Miniature Painting #Painting Miniatures #Mini Painting

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cryinginthefkncorner · 9 months ago

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Look, i know I’m about to kick a wasps nest, but I need to say it.

I don’t really care for fandom shipping discourse, I don’t take Sides religiously as both have good points, and ultimately I’m just anti-censorship…

…but that doesn’t mean I think the pro side is all right and the anti side is all wrong

Both sides harass the shit out of each other, both sides extremists are bad and need to go touch grass

But y’all also need nuance in these discussions your having

Because let me tell you, as someone who was groomed by multiple predators (one would go on to abuse me Irl for 7 years of my life btw, starting when I was a tween) because of fandom, the pro side of the debate has made it quite clear that they don’t actually care to understand the ramifications of the type of abuse I went through, or to actually listen to survivors of CSA who’s abuse occurred through fandom.

The pro side will be quick to point fingers at adults of kids in fandom, but the adults in charge of me were told by therapists I was seeing at the time that I was “being a normal tween” for believing I wanted to be in a relationship with an adult at 13/14. That I was “over dramatic and should be responsible for what happened” at the hands of this adult when I disclosed the first time about the abuse. I also got in trouble for the evidence of the grooming that was found by my parents, instead of them realizing I was being targeted by a creep.

Part of this was because I was a lonely, bullied, and ostracized kid.

It’s almost like sexual predators bank on adults failing to act and blaming young girls for the abuse. It’s almost like they’re right when they tell young girls that no one will believe them when they disclose. The pro side proves this too by how they justify their romanticization by pointing fingers at parents “not parenting kids” as if they can never do anything wrong, or miss the signs.

My parents missed the signs because they assumed a teenager (who was 17-18 when he started abusing 13 year old me) could not be a pedophile. They were happy their daughter “had finally found someone to talk to” because my own peers hated me and bullied me every chance they got at that age. To the point where I was actively suicidal for years.

All of this grooming happened because I dared to interact with the MLP fandom at 13. And trust me that fandom was filled with pedos at the peak of its popularity. Like I said multiple full grown men groomed and RPG’d in a sexual way with me, even after I disclosed my age. Because I dared to like pastel colored pony’s and I wrote some (PG-13) fanfic, and drew some fanart.

And trust me, I saw the romanticization of my own abuse in that fandom, and seeing it being defended still is disconcerting.

Like, an actual survivor saying “hey, please don’t portray the abuse that ruined my fucking life as a good thing please” shouldn’t make y’all so fucking mad. But it does. And it’s fucking weird.

I’m not going to name call or anything, won’t even tell you what you can or can’t post but just know I’m one of those people where if you are posting that crap and I stumble upon it, or are vocally defending your right to romanticize it, that I’m silently judging you.

And I’m just going to block you if you try to defend it on this post.

I’d say that if you want to avoid drama maybe just get a fucking sensitivity reader if your discussing CSA, and aren’t trying to romanticize it. But apparently sensitivity readers are just “enforcing censorship” or whatever so I know I’m just talking to the equivalent of a brick wall.

Before you bring up not reading this stuff- I don’t, I’m just kinda sick of a real problem in fandom being dismissed and victims being blamed for their abuse

Before you bring up Lolita as a “gotcha” defense- I have reading comprehension abilities, evidenced by how I have a minor in creative writing (which btw involves a metric fuck-ton of reading and discerning meaning and intentions of the author from those readings) Lolita was not defending predators, it’s meaning was twisted by people who want to defend grooming and csa, and since I can tell the difference between condemnation and romanticization, I’m sure a lot of people who share my opinions also can as well. Not everyone with “anti” opinions is uneducated like you think they are, some of us are just expressing why we have limits and why we find certain portrayal distasteful. If you think I’m still wrong i reccomend going back and reading the prologue in Lolita that you obviously skipped.

Before you say I’m advocating for censorship- I’m not, I’m just saying you don’t get to shout at abuse victims who were affected through fandom to shut up. Write insensitive portrayals of traumatizing shit, and then get upset when someone tells you your portrayal is making the traumatizing shit look like it’s a-okay. If you post something on this vein be prepared for someone to say that what you wrote is portraying harmful stereotypes (ie that CSA isn’t harmful if an often repeated myth, it’s akin to saying rape victims were “asking for it” because they were drunk).

Also I’ve never harassed anyone about this in my life, in fact the people who defend romanticization of my abuse are usually just blocked on site, because I just don’t want to deal with the shit-stirring that occurs.

And finally for those who think this is me being against harm reduction- I’m not against harm reduction, maybe these thing are harm reduction for awhile, but eventually, just like alcohol or painkillers, these little fanfic stories aren’t going to be enough for would-be predators forever. They will build up a tolerance where imagination and text isn’t enough anymore, and that’s when they start to actually do the real illegal shit.

If you have reading comprehension you’ll realize I’m am not saying fiction=reality, but to spell it out more clearly, the fiction isn’t making them offend, the inability for the fiction to be enough to get them off is what leads them to offend. It’s like someone who can’t get oxy turning to heroin out of desperation.

When the harm reduction doesn’t work anymore, is it really reducing harm, especially when the stuff they now turn to is the illegal stuff they were supposedly trying to “avoid” in the first place.

Anyway, that’s my thoughts on this shit, I’m tired of seeing it debated or people with the same trauma being told to shut up because the truth is inconvenient. I needed to just get it out.

Anyone who openly defends this crap in the notes or reblogs will be blocked.

#rant post #personal #anti proship #anti radqueer #anti prat #anti map #tw csa mention #tw rap3 #tw rape mention #tw grooming

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rose-tinted-kalopsia · 6 months ago

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LMAO ok cw sylus thoughts that i'll post bc i've been trying to wrap head around that trailer anyway 😆😆

more expanded uh... here? 😭

crazy how little glimpses in the trailer make me want to pick apart his brain and go back to the insane amount of potential he has BUT

it's interesting personality-wise because i was actually pegging on the "elegant villain" trope and i'm just surprised they actually made it a reality LMFAO

like he's actually giving. classical music themes... tension-filled slow dancing... enemies to lovers.... kinda vibes... and like a cocky ish attitude that comes off as more of condescending and mocking than annoying/with the purpose of getting on your nerves... because he knows he's in a position of authority over you or something...

and it actually feels like he would say something like "you are as weak as all the rest" and "power beyond reckoning... and you use it as a crutch. such a waste." but also "you'll always come back to me." "looks like you can't resist, hm?" and it's interesting because of the intonation used in all the dialogue we've seen from him so far??? because it's—mocking, undeniably.

but also...

dunno how many of you have played pocket mirror or if it's intentional to have his wording that way but the things he's saying are actually quite manipulating—arguably the same techniques enjel uses on goldia in pocket mirror—especially considering him and mc just met

he says things like:

"you went through all that trouble to get into the N109 zone... i should fulfil my duty as your host"

"you still have to find someone who can pay the price"

"since you can't escape..."

and my personal favorite:

"after all, you and i... we're the same. true kindred spirits."

and despite the mocking/self-assured tone he takes on, the words he says make the sentence about mc... which in turn... like, when you do this? and you make what you're saying about the person you're talking to? it subconsciously makes them feel "special" and "seen". and whether they like it or not, a part of them already has some trust in you. humans are selfish and it's a real thing 😭✋

and maybe mc doesn't have much of a choice considering she's trapped, or maybe she just needs the information that badly she's willing to risk it, but it's also likely that his word choice plays a factor into why she's going along with whatever shenanigans are going on

because it's sneaky, right? they just met, but he's going to play the card of "i'm not the enemy, someone else is, so let's work together" and whether that's true or not, damn like it takes some mad convincing skills to get someone to believe that sometimes 😭✋

and then you'd think like, there's also his story, and why he's the way he is, and how much mc might mean to him... how underneath all the high, mocking attitude he's got going for him rn, there's gotta be a sense of yearning and need for mc for whatever reason as he realizes he needs her, for whatever reason, and it starts to become less of a game and more of reality to him as time progresses and the mocking slowly begins to fade into a person who's gotten himself into this situation too fast he forgot to pick up the little pieces of himself along the way and— and—

#so.... barnabas/jumin/khun a.a. vibes #what a mix 😭#ʚɞ*.ﾟ. lnds #*ੈ♡. rose talks #sylus

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throw-awaybabe · 4 months ago

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Hi,

Welcome to my blog. No one is gonna read this, which is totally fine by me, but I felt I should make a welcome post.

I’m a female, late 30’s, who is looking to blog her thoughts, feelings, life. Recently had a thing happen in my life and I don’t feel like I have a proper way to work through it so here I am.

What recently happened you ask? Well my husband kinda sorta maybe cheated on me. You are asking how is there a kinda sorta…it’s like black and white right? No, I have a kink and it’s been a thing for 10 years. We have discussed it and fantasied about it. I’ve encouraged it, given him permission even to hook up with others.

Well, almost 2 wks ago he went to his cousin’s wedding without me. He claims he didn’t purposely make it where I can’t go, but now I’m not so sure. So he leaves super early for the wedding. Kinda felt off but ok he’s super close to his family. While he’s there this time our communication is at a minimum. I wasn’t texting or calling bc I didn’t know what he was doing for example at rehearsals, golfing, dinner etc.

He only called once when he first got in. Texts are a minimum, but he’s always on his snap. Probably snapping friends and his cousins who aren’t there but still can’t call me. So unlike him.

Lo and behold we have a blow up the night of the wedding after the wedding. He was hammered drunk and I finally let him have it. We sorta work through the issue and that’s when he asks how does it work with the other thing since I was mad at him? At first, I was confused and then I quickly realize what he’s asking. So I say “are you asking permission? Go for it.”

I mean I’m confused bc hello we have been fighting, but a part of me thought he was just trying to turn me on. I was wrong. That’s when he dropped he already made out and sucked on some chick’s tit at the wedding. Sooooo you already did it but wanted me to ok it for you. When I say I was shocked I mean flabbergasted, floored, confused. He then continued to tell me and go back and forth for hours about it. Apparently he had 2 chicks all over him, making out, sucking their tits, grabbing his cock, ripping his shirt.

I know I told him that he has a hall pass in the past & that night I begrudgingly told him do what he wants bc he clearly already did. He claims they only made out waist up but that isn’t entirely true if they’re grabbing his dick and it’s came out he made out a total of 3x. He also was alone with them 1.5 hrs after he told me they’re waiting for him and he thinks he’s gonna do it but unsure. He claims to me nothing happened and he shut it down from going further. I just don’t believe it. He is saying that the further he gets from that day it’s becoming unclear and fuzzy. What? Is that even possible?

My issue is simple. You already hooked up with someone without my consent. You did it sneakily behind my back. You bought condoms Thursday with the intention of using them and threw the box away on your way home bc of whatever reason you gave me. You spent the evening flirting so hard with this chick she followed you and cornered you to where you made out with her at the wedding and got so amped up you pulled her tits out and sucked them there. All the while I was upset you weren’t texting me and posting cute pics on snap in hopes you would tell me I was pretty. You then drop the bombshell on me after we get into it and then you decided you are gonna make out again with her and now another chick who you won’t even talk about. You also brag about how your cousins are trying to hook you up with chicks bc they want you to come back. The whole night just feels so weird to me.

It feels like I got played and cheated on. Just feels like you purposefully made it where I couldn’t come so you could play. You may have made an offhand comment about it but we never really discussed it besides me saying it would be hot for you to dance with someone and get hard.

Also you told me you weren’t into it and then this. When I said that you and said that I think you wanted to go up and do this the whole time you literally sent the 🤷‍♂️ emoji and said “I did”

Now if I say anything you use it against me and say you don’t think you want to do it again bc of all the issues it has caused. The issues are from how you did it. And now I feel like I can’t talk about it bc if I do you will shut it down. That’s not fair. That’s not ok.

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applesandbannas747 · 1 year ago

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For the fic writer ask, 10, 34 and 38?

ahh!! thank you for playing more silly ask games with meee <33

10. How do you decide what to write?

whatever makes my brain go brrrr. lmfao I have a million ideas that collect in my brain (and then get jotted down in notes lest I forget them all), and then from them I'll kinda pick what to write based on a couple of things: interest level at the moment of choosing, ship, length, and genre.

Biggest thing that indicates something will be written immediately is when I start composing scenes in my head while falling asleep or zoning out--that usually means it's Time to work on that project, but that's not always how things get picked.

I do try (and I used to be better at it) to stagger my fics in a way that keeps my readers happy/interested. So I try to even out the Nichoji v Eugesse ratio I write, meaning if I just finished a long Eugesse fic, I'd look to choose from a Nichoji idea. And generally when I'm working on longer projects, little ones will pop up to keep the crops diversified in my brain and all that--and those ones always kinda happen on whims/accident and then get stored away for months/years until I have a posting gap they can fill. And genre lmfaooo it was my intention to give people realistic fiction between my fantasy bullshit but that particular criterion has been given up on and I've just accepted it at this point

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

ooo I've said it before but my love for my family and relationship with my siblings really influences the way I write the Labaos--none of the Labao children are based on me or any of my siblings and none of the relationships were copy pasted onto them, but the strong basis of love and bullshittery everything is built on is from my life. and of course the mental illness do be sneaking into all the Fence boys lmfao oops

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

honestly fucking baffled in the best way when my things get popular lmfao i still can't believe people like some of my stories so much! There's probably four that I think completely surprised me

Fairy Bound gained a lot of fans I was not expecting, especially given the size of the fandom (it's not super big and I thought it had died out a lot more than it has because it's older) and the controversy of the ship (human/fairy with large age gap, you know the drill). I think one of the reasons it got so popular is because of it being a T-rated and longer fic for the ship when most of the longer fics for them were M or E and so it filled a niche? Also it was canon compliant (at least until the sequel series came out...but i don't really see those as canon anyway so my thing still fits into the OG canon yknow?)

More was my very first Fence fic that I wrote because I could not find ANY Nichoji kissing fics and wanted those fuckers to kiss. Which, I think, is why other people liked it, but I was so surprised (in a good way) with how many people commented on it and wanted to read more. It remains my most-kudo'd fence fic, which has honestly got to be from its time accumulating those kudos XD but it makes me smile whenever I get a new kudos on it because it's nice to know that people still like it since it was what jumpstarted my time in the fence fandom

Can't Get Over You is one that baffled me for ages because I had a great time writing it, but I don't think it's my strongest fic by far...and then I realized that maybe other people are as terrible as I am and enjoy the trope of Nick fucking up really bad being mean to Seiji and making him cry, then having to spend ages getting him to believe he loves him. Sometimes makes me wonder if I should post more with that trope or if it would be too upsetti spegetti XD

And then Promised Things I seriously didn't expect to get much traction, and yet, it surpassed Truths, my until-then legacy fic...Turns out business romance is a whole genre that people do be enjoying but I just thought I was being boring because how does 'businessman au' sound appealing to anyone at all except the dumb asshole who wrote it??? also i made so many lingerie jokes in that one and am still delighted that y'all just let me get away with it

#jackshit #ask games #thanks for the ask!!💜#i always love babbling about fence in any capacity lmfao

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sabertoothwalrus · 9 months ago

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ok so first off I'll say that this definitely started as a joke. haha wouldn't it be funny if yadda yadda you know.

but then I thought about it, and now I have feelings about them.

AT THE VERY LEAST, I can see it being one-sided. Chilchuck canonically thinks Senshi is attractive.

2. "But he has a wife!!"

What we know about Chilchuck and his wife:

they were childhood friends

they had their first kid before they were legal adults

they probably rushed their relationship because of this

Chilchuck has probably never been with anyone else

she didn't leave him until all their kids became independent

she left him almost immediately after he started adventuring

they have not spoken to each other in four years

I have mixed-feelings about what happens with Chilchuck's wife. I really love how he stayed faithful to her even when he had NO intention to reach out. I don't really like seeing situations of him hooking up with people while in the dungeon because of this. I like the idea of them reconciling!!! but I also see a lot of potential in them deciding to end their relationship officially. Maybe they realize their communication issues aren't sustainable, and since they don't have to raise their kids anymore they have less justification to "make it work". Regardless, I think Chilchuck does reach out, and their relationship does improve. I like to think that they stay civil.

3. Chilchuck seems like the kind of guy to harbor feelings and would feel FULLY content to never ever ever act on them. In the bicorn chapter, he has SUCH a distaste for romance. I don't think he really sees the point. It's just such an ordeal to him that doesn't seem worth the trouble. This is, if we're being honest, not unrelated to why his wife left him!

Like!! He wouldn't want to experience that heartbreak again. It's such a huge risk, and Chilchuck isn't one to take risks.

Except, he's also the kinda guy who'll say "fuck it" and do something he knows is stupid. I think it'd be a really sweet, fitting end to his character arc if he were to catch feelings and confess immediately. It'd be a very "let's cut-the-bullcrap, I like you, I'm too old to dance around it. either we should do something about it or don't." confession.

4. This might be what grabbed me about them the most. Chilchuck, canonically, is underweight. Half-foots are naturally more heavyset. He's the 6'5" of half-foots, so he has to be extra skinny in order to not set off traps.

Pair that with Senshi, the man whose whole deal is food. Like!!!!! this shit writes itself. I cannot imagine any universe where Senshi would know this about Chilchuck and not make it his personal mission to keep him well-fed.

6. ON TOP OF THIS!!!!! CHILCHUCK HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM!!!

Senshi would probably enjoy being his drinking buddy, but would also be concerned about what it's doing to Chuck's health. He'd wanna do whatever it takes to get as many years with him as possible :')

7. The irony of Chilchuck's "no romance within the party" ban. it's funny!!!! I do think that he'd justify it by not doing anything until he's retired and the party is officially disbanded. convenient har har har

8. this. no explanation needed

9. "But Senshi sees him as a child!"

ngl I don't blame people if this is the main reason the ship puts them off. However, I truly think that after the changelings, Senshi feels quite differently.

(copying this from my other post) Senshi seems really capable of change! he changed his mind about magic a bit. and in the grand scheme of things, they hadn't known each other for more than a couple weeks. And maybe this is just me, but whenever people act like it's "impossible" to change their perception of someone that much, it makes me wonder 1) how they think of trans people that they knew before transitioning 2) how they treat real life actual human beings who have disabilities that make them small/young-looking

10. "But Senshi doesn't seem interested in anyone romantically!"

I mean. that we know of. I've talked before about how Senshi is actually quite mysterious. We don't know much about his dating life, except that he didn't want to take an orc wife (nothing about taking a husband though, huh? 🤔) and I think it'd be funny if it's There, he just wouldn't ever think to volunteer that information voluntarily. They probably just have to ask.

This is just a fun little headcanon of mine 🤭 but I also think it'd be interesting if some of Senshi's original party members were gay. They were a group because they were all outcasts from society, which is a HUGE DEAL to dwarves. They felt so strongly about something that they thought it'd be worth it to uproot their whole lives.

Senshi was an orphan, not even considered "mature" by dwarf standards, and was part of this group of outcasts. What the fuck!!!!! I wanna know more about this!!!!!!! Did he leave because his beliefs aligned with theirs, and intentionally joined them despite the consequences? Was he this group's Izutsumi?

11. SPEAKING OF IZUTSUMI, the co-parenting!! sure, they don't have to date to do that. but come on. they have a kid together. that's cute.

12. spite, a little bit dkfjhgdkjg people don't seem reluctant to objectify Senshi but sure do when it comes to shipping him. come on. bears deserve romance too. I'm saying this as a lesbian. don't be cowards. commit to the old man yaoi.

I think that's most of my chilshi thoughts thank you for coming to my ted talk.

does anyone wanna hear my chilshi thoughts

#dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #senshi of izganda #chilshi #dungeon meshi spoilers

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a-spell-a-rebel-yell · 2 years ago

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March for the future

hello!!! as always i'm late for the March post because it's already April 3rd! yay! also pls clap for the title/pun i just invented :) originally wanted to use 'March madness' but then realized i used it last year, so :-)

actually nothing much happening this March (see the obvious pattern of my quiet, drama free life?) and i'm really glad to be honest. the reason for the title is just that i'm still on the journey of doing something i can't disclose what yet (the same one i mentioned on Jan post) but it's been good/okay!

highlight for this March is definitely the start of Ramadan! favorite month of the year easily. my workload is lessened, loads of day-offs, and in general just the best time of the year. so glad to be able to spend even more time with my family, especially my mum and dad.

the more i get older the more i realize 'seemingly minuscule' privileges like having my parents as my main support system or coming from a middle to upper class family plays a veeery big role in determining my future. i'm not saying if you have best friends as support system instead or having less than upper income is bad or won't land you in a good place, it's just an observation on the mental/physical health outcomes i've seen from various start points.

i mean, ideally, regardless of other factors, parents should be a person's mast... to support the sails and lets the wind to propel the ship forward. they also should be the ones providing financial aids until the child has finally grown into an adult and can stand on their feet, stable and secure. in reality, it's not always the case, and this is heartbreaking. i salute the people who found solace and anchor still in their friends, or even in themselves.

i think this post might be yet another appreciation post for my parents because without their careful guidance i probably won't be writing this down. they literally shaped and mended my way of thinking and never for once their advice hasn't succeeded in helping me out of tight spots or extracting the life lesson out of every failure i went through. my mum and dad’s neverending supply of comfort. everything i need and it’s given without asking. i can tell absolutely everything and they will try to understand, no judgement whatsoever. it’s the transparency and willing to meet at the common ground between me and my parents that i will make sure i’ll do the same with my children. i’m the very definition of my parent's daughter through and through i guess hehe

my belief is that if you are one of the lucky ones with these privileges and boost, is to humbly acknowledge them and use it to its fullest potential... this is common sense i know but oh well. you've probably seen others do otherwise lol

again another point of reminded to not! sabotage! yourself! by making rushed decision and never settle for less. i think i'm kinda glad i overthink a lot and always take what i deserve for the hard work i did, it saves me 90% of the time! literally don't care whatever people say, if i don't value their presence/opinion then it's 100% possibility their words mean nothing to me.

might sound like a super villain on that last sentence but i genuinely do not care and i'm saying this not with awful intention or menace, but i just can't find time/space for things that do not matter. i have my own life to take care of, so why should i bother with others haha

but yes, as i quote from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore said, "indifference and neglect often do more damage than outright dislike." and i wholeheartedly agree. when you no longer appreciate and ignore someone's existence, it hurts the most. because when you spew hate, technically you still spent time and breath to do, so it's slightly ‘less painful’ in my opinion haha

so yep. but rest assured i'm not mean! just trying to live a drama free, happy life. it does reduce my stress level, so i suggest you do that too. don't think much of the people who don't deserve your time and headspace. will do you good, trust me.

anyways, happy Ramadan to my Muslim pals! see you in next month's post :)

#hehehehehe #don't know what to tag this time #i guess it's my selfcare era #:)

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cjsinkythoughts · 4 years ago

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The Conversation

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 7661 (Don’t come at me - you guys asked for it)

Warnings: !FATWS Spoilers!, Cursing, Fluff, Feelings, I Dunno What Else, This One’s Pretty Chill, Except The Ending, But You’ll See When You Get There

A/N: Here it is! I was hesitant about posting it because that means we’re getting closer to the end and I’m such a nostalgic bitch! I’m definitely gonna cry next week when the last episode comes out! Anyways, I’ve got a few things to talk about:

I think this is one of the most important chapters I’ve written and I’m excited to see your reactions to it. It is longer, but you guys asked for that, so you got it! Also, I’m loving the Asks, Comments, and Reblogs. I try to respond to all of them. I have work in a little bit, so I won’t be able to until after, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Ask me anything; about my series, the show, any of the movies, personal stuff, I really don’t care. If you’re not comfortable, that’s totally fine! Every like means so much to me!

I know it’s not the end yet - we’ve got one more episode and a list of One Shots to get through - but there’s a definite feeling of this series coming to an end, and I just want to thank you all for the support and love you’ve been giving it! I’ve really enjoyed writing these characters and this story! It’s very, very special to me and I’m glad I’ve been able to share it with you lovely people!

On that note, be kind to yourselves and others! Thank you again for reading! Excuse any mistakes - this isn’t beta’d! Enjoy and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT! (Sorry for the gifs I just love them so much and he’s so pretty and this part is technically two parts so...you get four!)

“Louisiana.” Bucky hummed, looking around the airport.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not gonna find anything interesting about Louisiana in here, doofus. Let’s call an Uber.”

“An Ooper? What the hell is an Ooper?”

You giggled, shaking your head and grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the luggage carousel. “Uber. It’s like…a taxi service. But there’s an app on your phone to get a driver instead of waiting for one on the street.”

“Oh.” He blinked, tilting his head. “That’s…helpful.”

You laughed again, stopping in front of Carousel 3, where your flight from New York was assigned. You went back to New York to grab a bag with clean clothes and other necessities, along with taking a real shower for once. It was nice to be back in the States, as much as you loved traveling. It’d been a crazy few weeks and you were ready to just relax.

“Do you think there were any problems with Sammy’s present?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nah. Especially considering they know who we are.”

You snickered at his slight grumble. They had had…problems at the other two airports - first the one in Sokovia then JFK in New York - considering Bucky’s entire arm was metal. It’d taken a full hour before they actually let you go, and by that time they had to give you a new plane because yours had left.

“Seriously. Who else has a fucking metal arm and has 1917 listed as their birth year on their Driver’s License?” You giggled again. That was also true. They thought he was messing with them. It wasn’t until you stepped in a few minutes after they asked Bucky to step to the side, seeing Bucky get frustrated, that they realized Bucky wasn’t pulling their legs.

“Well, we’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

He nodded in agreement, watching for your bags, his hand finding yours when he realized how many people there were. “Do you know where he lives? I didn’t even think about it.”

“Yeah, don’t worry. He invited me over once. I declined, but I saved the address.”

“He…invited you over?” Bucky frowned.

You gave him a look. “I’m sure he invited you, too. You just never checked his texts.”

He licked his lips, tilting his head. “Yeah, no, I know, but I mean…why didn’t you go? Weren’t you two just talking about how you wanted to meet his nephews the other day?”

“Yeah, but I had gotten a tip on Wanda at the time and I didn’t want to miss the chance that she was there. He told me it was fine. I still felt really bad. I could tell he was a bit disappointed. I think it was one of the boys’ birthdays. Or something. I don’t remember. Is that bad? Yeah, probably. I really should remember. Maybe I should keep track of birthdays on my calendar or something.”

“Doll.” You looked up to find him giving you a magnificent smile, teeth and all. “You’re rambling.”

“Oh. Am I? Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

He shook his head quickly, squeezing your hand. “Don’t apologize. It’s cute. I’m just not used to you talking so much. You kinda did on the phone sometimes.”

You shrugged, pushing down the heat crawling up your neck at his words. “I rambled a lot to Steve.”

“Oh.”

His face fell, making you scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion, nudging him slightly to grin at him. “It’s nice to have someone to ramble to again, though.” There was that smile again. You were stopped from saying anything more when you noticed some kids pointing and chattering excitedly at a gleaming silver box coming around the corner on the conveyor belt. “There it is.”

He looked over his shoulder, dropping your hand and stepping over to grab it, lifting it effortlessly. You didn’t know what was in it or how heavy it was, but you were sure it felt like a feather to him.

“Alright. Got our bag, sweetheart?” You lifted up the duffle in answer and he jerked his head towards the doors. “Let’s get outta here, then. Call that Booper or whatever.”

“U-B-E-R! Ub-er!” You threw your hands up, following him as he started walking towards the exit. “What’s so hard about it?!”

He just gave you a little smirk over his shoulder.

***************

Bucky kept asking the Uber driver questions about his job. The guy was super nice and patient the whole time, a thick southern accent lacing his answers. Southern hospitality was no joke and apparently had no limit as Bucky asked about his experiences, listening intently and telling him his own stories of taxi drivers in NYC.

When you got to Sam’s sister’s house, Bucky, being Bucky, tipped the driver half of what you paid for the ride, thanking him for his time and energy, before getting out.

“You’re so adorable, you know that?” You teased him as you stepped up the porch stairs and knocked on the door.

He rolled his eyes, a tint of pink dusting across his cheeks. “He was nice.”

You hummed at his defense, the smile never leaving your features. After a moment, Bucky raised his fist to knock again. “Jesus Christ! Don’t fucking knock their door down!” You grabbed his wrist and lowered it.

“Sorry. I forget sometimes.” Bucky informed you absentmindedly, tilting his head to peek in the window. “I don’t think anyone’s home.”

“They’re probably at the docks, then.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “The docks?”

You nodded, gesturing for him to follow you. “Yeah. They have a boat, remember? He talked about it last week.”

“Oh right. The one he’s trying to convince his sister not to sell.”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. “I’m pretty sure it’s that way. I don’t know how far, but we can call the Uber back-”

Bucky scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Nah. I don’t wanna bother him again. We can walk.”

You gave him an incredulous look. “It’s literally his job to drive people around.”

“Well, yeah, but what if he’s got other people to drive?”

You lifted his metal knuckles to your lips. “Trust me, Buck, I’m sure he’d rather drive you than anyone else.”

“Thank you?”

Swinging your now linked hands, you gave a firm nod, letting him know it was, in fact, a compliment. “You are so very welcome.”

The walk was a lot longer than you thought it was, and you ended up on Bucky’s back after he kept complaining about how you “shouldn’t be walking this long” and you were “injured” and you “needed rest’”. You’re not sure how a shoulder wound affected your ability to walk, but you relented and let him carry you the rest of the way to stop his whining.

“You forget, you did pull your thigh.”

“That was, like, three weeks ago! Yeesh!”

You finally got to the docks, which were bustling with people. Bucky set you down and raised an eyebrow which you shrugged in reply to, before heading over to where you spotted Sam with a few other older men.

“How do we get it off the truck?” You heard Sam ask, pointing to a large boat engine part in the bed of a beaten up truck. Scoffing as Bucky lifted it up without breaking a sweat, you leaned against the truck. Bucky grunted and set it down, looking at Sam.

“You’re welcome.” What a punk. “Just dropping this off.” Bucky lifted the case and set it where the engine was previously, Sam coming to stand on the opposite side of the truck as you. “You can sign for it and I’ll go.” You snorted, shaking your head, making Bucky shove your shoulder - the uninjured one - playfully. “I called in a favor from the Wakandans.”

Sam looked at you curiously. You shrugged and shook your head. “Don’t look at me, Sammy. He wouldn’t tell me what it is. He’s all hushy hushy about it until you say so.”

Before Sam could reply, there was a squeak and hissing over at the boat where steam was coming from a few pipes.

“Sam!” You knew that was Sarah from pictures Sam showed you. You stayed up by the truck, pulling yourself onto the bed while Sam tried fixing the pipe, Bucky butting in to show him how to do it properly.

“Why didn’t you use the metal arm?”

You saw Bucky lift up said metallic limb. “Well…I don’t always think of it immediately. I’m-I’m right handed.” Letting out a laugh, Bucky turned around and scowled teasingly at you. “And what’re you laughing at?!”

“Nothing!”

“Well then get your ass over here!”

You rolled your eyes, hopping down from the truck as Bucky asked if Sam wanted help with the boat. You leaned against a wooden post, grinning when Sam looked at you.

“I don’t have any plans.”

Sam gave a small smile, jerking his head back. “Yeah.”

You jumped down onto the boat to follow him, looking over your shoulder and stopping with an amused eyebrow raised as Bucky introduced himself to Sarah. “I’m Bucky.”

“Ah…Sarah.”

“Sarah.” Bucky repeated her name, before walking towards you, a grin still on his lips.

“Careful, Barnes. That playboy Steve warned me about is coming out.” You nudged him with a smirk, ignoring the feeling of your stomach dropping.

He rolled his eyes, kissing your head as he passed you and Sam to go where Sam was gesturing. “Don’t worry, Y/N. You’re still my doll.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, falling into step besides you and lowering his voice. “Conversation?”

“Hasn’t happened.” You informed him through clenched teeth as he groaned.

Sam gave you a list of chores that needed to be done to clean up the boat, giving you a quick tour and letting you know where all the tools needed where. You set to work immediately.

Sanding down, replacing old parts, cleaning, polishing and painting over the things that didn’t need replacing. They didn’t let you do any heavy lifting because of your stupid shoulder, but you were still able to help.

Sam had turned on some music for you to listen to, so you danced around the boat while cleaning. Turning your head when you felt a pair of eyes on you, you smiled when Bucky snapped his head back down to the wood he was sanding down.

“Gonna dance, Barnes?”

He looked back over, shaking his head. “Nah. I’m good watching you.”

Rolling your eyes, you got back to work, continuing to bop to the music, fully aware that he was watching you now.

A little while later, you were repainting the edges of the boat orange, when you looked over and noticed Bucky playing around with a paint scraper…sitting right on the edge that you had just finished repainting a few minutes ago.

“Buck!”

He looked over, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”

You bit your lip, trying to hold back your mischievous grin. Shaking your head, you waved dismissively. “Never mind!”

He gave you a confused sort of pout, before shrugging and continuing to fidget with the tool. It wasn’t until later when he got up to help Sam tear the metal plating off the edge that it came to light with Sam chuckling and raising an eyebrow.

“Sit in something there, Barnes?”

“What?”

Bucky craned his neck back, eyes widening when he saw the orange paint on his ass, contrasting with his jeans. You let out a cackle and he whipped towards you, pointing at you accusingly, although the small uptick of his lips let you know he wasn’t really mad.

“Y/N!”

“No, no, no!” You laughed, sprinting across the deck, shrieking when he grabbed your waist and spun you around. You gasped when he grabbed a paint brush and painted an orange stripe right down the front of your shirt. “James!”

“Justice, sweetheart.” He breathed in your ear with a chuckle.

You shook your head, wiggling out of his hold. “This is a nice shirt!”

“You should’ve thought about that before.” He smirked, crossing his arms. Your eyes caught sight of Sam behind him, who raised an eyebrow and the bucket of paint he was holding. You nodded with a little giggle, making Bucky’s eyes narrow. “What’s so funny over there, do - holy shit!

You guffawed as orange paint dripped down his head, Sam standing innocently behind him with the now empty bucket behind his back. “Samuel!”

“Oops?”

“I’m gonna kill you!”

“Try me old man!”

“Fuck!

“Doll!”

“Oh my God!”

Paint, orange and white since those were the only cans they had out, flew across the deck, paint brushes being used like fencing swords.

You found out too late that wet paint was a little bit slippery and you slid on a huge puddle, sending you, not onto the ground below, but over the side of the edge into the water.

“Doll!”

“Cher, you good?!”

The three of you looked at each other, stunned for a moment, before bursting into fits of laughter and you nodded. “I’m good!”

The boys helped you get back up onto the dock, Sarah appearing with towels she conjured up out of thin air. “Let’s get you into dry clothes. Do you have-?”

“We’ve got some. We got a bag.” You told her with a grin, facing the guys. “You two should clean up some, too. Sammy, you’ve got a little something right there.” You pointed to your cheek, his own having a giant white splotch from his temple to his jaw. “And Buck?” You sniggered, gesturing to the whole of him. “You’ve got a lotta something right there.”

“Ha. Ha.” He looked down. His top was practically tiger print, drenched in orange with white here and there, and his ass still orange as well. His hair, which had been plastered to his forehead, was starting to dry now, and it only made you laugh some more thinking about what a pain it’d be to get it out. For him, at least.

“God. Can’t even have a relaxing day on the boat with you two.” Sam jested once you finished up and joined him and Bucky, who had just finished dumping out some water buckets. Bucky had changed his shirt and it looked like they tried wiping their faces, but Sam still had small lines of white down his face. “How ‘bout a couple of drinks? Surely you can’t ruin that too.”

“Ruin?” You gasped in mock offence. “Sammy! I just made the day more…interesting.”

Sam chuckled, ruffling Bucky’s hair, which still had orange streaks in it. “Let’s go get some beers.”

************

You chatted for a bit, mainly you and Sam with you asking how Sarah and the boys were while Bucky with your legs in his lap, just listening to you two and sipping at his bottle. You had his hand in your own lap, wiping it down with a rag due to the paint that got on it.

“You’re lucky this is vibranium, you know.” You commented off handedly. “If it was your other one, it’d definitely get stained.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Bucky shot back with a teasing grin.

“Sammy’s.”

Sam spluttered. “Wh-what?! You started it!” You laughed, shaking your head.

Falling into a comfortable silence with just the water and birds chirping as your soundtrack, you downed the rest of your drink, which Bucky took as finished. “Well,” you moved your legs to let him stand up. He leaned forwards to clink his bottle against Sam’s and you stood up and stretched. “Gotta catch our flight tomorrow. Get a hotel room for the night.” Sam gave you a look to which you rolled your eyes at as Bucky set down his bottle and grabbed his jacket. “Crash, you know?”

“So you’re just gonna set me up like that, huh?”

“Well I don’t wanna make it weird for your family.”

“Just stay here.” You laughed as Sam babbled on about how nice the people were here, grabbing the jacket Bucky handed to you. It was getting a bit chilly from the breeze on the water and the sun going down. Plus, that water was cold.

“But don’t flirt with my sister.”

You cackled at Bucky’s face, that turned serious, his head shaking. “No.”

“‘Cause if you do I’ll have Carlos cut you up and feed you to the fish.”

“Can’t hold back the dog, Wilson. It’s been stuck in a kennel too long.”

Bucky turned to you, grabbing your jaw and squishing your cheeks together. “You know what? You need to shush. You’ve been snippy all day.”

You just smiled as innocently as you could with your lips being held by his metal fingers. “You’re too fun to mess with.”

He pecked your nose. “As long as I’m the only one you’re messing with. I’ll be right back.” He let you go and spun around, maneuvering around the boat in a way only a trained assassin could do.

“Oh my God, please! Please just put me out of my fucking misery! You’re killing me, cher.”

“What?” You gaped at him.

“Don’t act innocent!” Sam huffed, giving you a pointed look. “If I have to watch you two make googly eyes at you one more fucking day with neither of you doing anything about it-”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh come on, Sammy-”

“Don’t ‘come on, Sammy’ me! And don’t come at me with that ‘he doesn’t like me back’ bullshit. If you think for a second that boy wouldn’t follow you to the depths of the fucking ocean, you’re blind as a bat, woman.”

You shrugged, pushing up the sleeves of Bucky’s too big jacket. “It just…hasn’t come up.”

He deadpanned, shaking his head and standing up. “That’s it. I’m done. You two are driving me insane. I’m gonna lock you in a room until you have the conversation that needs to be had the next time either of you does something stupid.”

“Yikes. That’s gonna be quick.” At his look, your smile dropped and you nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll…I’ll bring it up later.”

“Tomorrow or nothing.”

“Sam-”

Sam tilted his head, brow creasing. “Is it still Steve? Is that what this is still about? Because he’s gone, and he’s been gone and you need to get over it-”

“No. It’s not…” You sighed. “It clicked the other day. When we were hanging out. Steve left and, yeah, I might always love him, but Bucky…God…I love Bucky, Sam.”

The man grinned proudly. “I’m glad to finally hear you admit it. So what’s the problem?”

“It’s still complicated, right? I mean…he’s his best friend and I’ve never dealt with stuff like this before and-”

Sam’s smile dropped and he groaned again. “Imma head out. I can’t take this. Dumbass and dumberass. I swear to God.” You sniggered a bit as he grumbled, walking towards the ramp to climb off the boat, just as Bucky reappeared.

“Hey-”

“Nope! Not right now, Barnes! I can’t handle it! I can’t!”

Bucky gave you a weird look. “What’d you do?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Nothing.”

“Well, c’mon, doll. Sarah said she’s gonna make gumbo for us, whatever that is.” He held out his hand as you walked over.

“You’re such a city boy.” You teased lightly, taking his hand and letting him help you pull you onto the dock. You shoved the sleeves of his jackets up again since they slipped from the first time. “Let’s go get some dinner. I’m starving.”

******************

“We have the couch and a mattress we can pull out, I just have to make Sam get it from the attic-”

“That’s alright. The couch is fine.” Bucky waved dismissively while you nodded in agreement.

Sarah raised an eyebrow at you two. “For both of you?”

You blinked, exchanging a look with Bucky, before shrugging and turning back to her. “Yeah.”

“Don’t fight it, Sarah.” Sam peeked out from the hall. “They’ve got a weird relationship.” You stuck your tongue out at the man while Bucky rolled his eyes, dropping your duffle bag by the couch. “How mature, Y/N.” Sam mimicked your action.

“Uhm…okay. Let me set up the couch for you then.”

Once everything was set up, you and Bucky thanking her for dinner - delicious and you’d never seen Bucky smile so much, the boys having kept him highly entertained throughout the meal - and for letting you crash, Sam and Sarah headed to their rooms, the boys already having been tucked in for the night.

“Are you gonna sleep on the floor?” You asked quietly, sitting down on the couch and doing the things for your night routine you didn’t already do in the bathroom.

“I think I’ll be okay.” He sat besides you. “I’ve been doing fine the past week or so.”

You smiled at him. “That’s good. Alright.” You stood up and stretched. “Let me just make sure everything’s in the bag and ready-”

You yelped when his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest, shifting down to lay against the couch’s arm. “Do it in the morning.” He yawned, looking up at you tiredly. “I wanna go to sleep.”

“Then go to sleep, Buck. I’ll be right back.” He shook his head, his hold tightening as he sunk deeper into the couch.

“No. I fall asleep better with you.”

You rolled your eyes but grinned, settling down with your legs between his, your chin resting on his sternum so you could still look at him. He beamed, but you could see the exhaustion settling in, and he grabbed the blanket Sarah left over the back of the couch and draped it across your back, over both of your legs, before his arms crossed snugly under the covers at the small of your back.

“Dinner was nice tonight. I haven’t had a meal cooked like that in ages.” You hummed.

He nodded in agreement. “I think that’s the first time I’ve sat around a table with a family since the 40′s.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Did you like it?”

“Yeah...kinda makes me wish I had my own.”

“Your own what?”

“Family.”

You bit your lip, shyly avoiding his gaze. “You’re my family, Buck.”

A light kiss was pressed to your forehead, his fingers bringing your gaze back to his. “There’s no one else I’d rather have.” The room lapsed into silence again, the clock ticking on the wall, the low sound of crickets outside.

“You have really pretty eyes.” You mumbled, tilting your head slightly as you studied them. They always held so much emotion in them, especially in contrast to when you first met him as Soldat. They matched the water you fell in, and you wouldn’t mind falling over and over into them.

“Yeah, well, you’re just really pretty inside and out, so I think you’ve got me beat, doll.” He whispered back.

“You know who else is pretty? Sarah.”

He nodded with a hum. “That’s true. But I meant what I said. You’ll always be my doll.”

“So you’re not gonna ask her out?”

He gave you a weird look as you traced his sharp jawline absentmindedly. “Nah, sweetheart. It’s just…some harmless flirting. Except on Sam’s part.”

You gave a soft huff of laughter. “Yeah…he’s gonna strangle you. It is nice to see you like that, though. Flirty. Relaxed. Happy.”

“You make me happy, sweetheart.” He hummed, nosing your temple. “The road trip helped. I’m learning everything from you. Maybe not the flirting, but the carefree part.”

You blinked at him, finger stopping for a moment as you thought. “Oh…”

You felt his fingers dance up your spine, making you shiver slightly. “What I would give to know what’s goin’ on inside that pretty lil’ head’a yours, doll.”

“I just think it’s funny you’re learning how to be carefree from me…when I just started learning how to do it myself.”

“Oh yeah?”

You nodded, your finger continuing its path down his jaw. “I think it started with the goats.”

“The goats?”

You nodded again, resting your cheek on his chest, watching your finger move up from his chin. Once you got to the end of his jaw, you lightly scratched his scruff. “In Wakanda. Our goats.” You weren’t looking at him, so you didn’t see the way he physically melted at your words, his eyes going soft, his lips turning up slightly.

“Our goats, huh?”

But your tired brain wasn’t really processing what he said, instead focusing on the features your finger was now tracing - over his lips, up his nose. “You’re pretty too, Buck. Did you know that? Inside and out.”

He craned his neck to kiss your forehead. “Go to sleep, cuddle bug.”

Nodding, you nuzzled into his chest, finger feeling over the bumps and indents on the dog tags resting near your head. You tried going to sleep, but you kept shifting, your mind not shutting off.

“Hey, sleepyhead, I’m trying to, you know, sleep.”

“Sorry.” You apologized meekly. “I just…I dunno. I can’t.”

“Are you comfortable?” He peeked open and eye to look at you questioningly. You nodded. “Is it too hot? We can take the blanket off. I know I’m a walking furnace-”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t know why. I just can’t sleep.”

He licked his lips thoughtfully, before cradling your head and guiding you back down to his chest. “Lay down, sweetheart. Relax.” He stroked your hair, moving his head down to rub circles in your back muscles, pressing down harder when he felt knots.

You hummed, your eyes closing. “That feels good.”

“Shshsh. Just go to sleep.” His lips pressed against your head once more, lingering a bit longer than they usually do, as you felt yourself drift off. You cuddled his side, throwing a leg over his waist, before nodding off, only barely hearing his words. “Attagirl. There we are.”

******************

“Doll?” You felt a shift underneath you and groaned, your eyes barely cracking open. “Hey, sleepyhead…it’s okay. I’m just gonna slip out from under ya, alright? Gonna go help Sammy with somethin’.”

You raised an eyebrow, letting him move you against the cushions as he sat up on the edge of the couch. “Sammy?”

“Yeah.” He bent over and kissed your cheek. You stretched out your limbs, about to rub your eyes, when he stopped you, kissing the inside of your wrists. “No. Not you, doll. Go back to sleep.”

“Bu’...’m gonna help.” You slurred out, looking at him with confused, squinty eyes.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s okay. Rest. You can help when you wake up again. Okay?” You mumbled out an “okay”, bringing the covers up to your chin and snuggling deeper into the cushions. “There ya go, cuddle bug. Good girl.” There was another kiss, one to your temple this time, before you slipped back into unconsciousness.

******************

The next time you woke up was because of a clatter in the kitchen. You yawned and sat up, stretching, eyebrows furrowing when you realized Bucky wasn’t with you. It took you a moment to remember your conversation, which you half thought you dreamt.

“Boys!”

“Sorry!”

You chuckled at the shouts, rubbing your eyes. “I am so sorry!” Sarah apologized, looking over at you from the stove. Trying to make the boys breakfast before school. Do you want anything? Eggs? Cereal? Toast?”

“Uh, cereal’s fine.” You stretched out your back again, before throwing back the covers and standing up, a little shakily.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where Sam went, would you?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Uh, I think him and Bucky went to fix something on the boat. I don’t for sure, though.”

Sarah groaned. “He probably went to fix the stupid water pump which doens’t need fixing. Dumbass.”

You chuckled, padding over into the kitchen. “Yeah. I just work with him. I can’t imagine growing up with him.”

“Trust me; some days you want to throw him in a box and send him out to sea. Bowls are in that cupboard.”

You snickered, moving over to grab a bowl from the cupboard she pointed to. “That’s how I feel with Bucky. Sam is less often, but when those two get together…it’s a full zoo.”

She laughed at that, nodding as she got out the milk and a few boxes of cereal for you to choose from, handing you a spoon. “That I believe.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

You started pouring your cereal, watching in slight amusement as she got the boys ready for school. “Bus is here! Get out the door! Bye! Love you! Make sure you take those extra lunches to-!”

“Yeah, mom! We know! Love you too!”

You gave a slight smirk as she huffed, looking around the kitchen at the pans and dishes left out. “Kids, huh?”

She gave you a smile. “Yeah. They’re a handful, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. How about you? Any thoughts of kids?”

“Me?” Your eyes widened, nearly choking on your food. “Oh God no. Not right now, at least. I don’t even have a solid house right now. My life’s too off the walls for that.”

“And Bucky?”

You raised an eyebrow as she leaned on the counter. “Bucky? What about Bucky?”

“Does he want kids?”

“Uh…I dunno.” You shrugged, clearing your throat as you remembered your talk last night. “Kinda makes me wish I had my own.” You quickly pushed his words aside. “He hasn’t told me.”

“Wait, wait. You two…aren’t together then?”

You blinked, your eyes widening again. “Together? Me and Bucky? No…why? Did Sam say something?”

Her expression morphed into one of disbelief, crossing her arms. “Sam didn’t say anything. You guys did. Are you seriously expecting me to believe you aren’t together?”

“We’re not! I mean - he was flirting with you yesterday-”

“Right, okay. Honey, that’s flirting. And it’s harmless. The way he follows you like a puppy and you look at him like he hung the stars? That’s feelings. And that’s a lot more impactful than flirting.”

You frowned in contemplation. It was really that obvious? You were really that blind? This whole time? You knew Sam knew - but you just figured that’s because he’s been there since it started. And Sharon knew for the same reason. But Sarah? The woman you just met the day prior and had barely had a conversation with?

“It’s, uh…” You chewed on your cheek, swirling your cereal around. “It’s complicated.”

Sarah didn’t look impressed. “Do you like him?”

“I’m kinda in love with him-”

She shrugged, not letting you finish your bashful statement. “Then I don’t see what’s complicated about it.”

And that was that. She turned to clean up breakfast, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You thought it was more complicated than that. I mean…you were in love with your best friend. Who left you. With the guy you had feelings for who just so happened to be your best friend/crush’s best friend. And now you were completely in love with your best friend’s best friend, but your best friend still had a piece of your heart.

But…you loved Bucky. And he was here. And Steve was not. And when you put it that way…you guess it wasn’t so complicated after all.

******************

You snickered as you walked up behind Sarah, the woman berating the men for not leaving the water pump along like she asked.

“Hi, Sarah.”

Sam shot Bucky a warning look, who grinned, but you were surprised to see Sarah ignore him, sending you a knowing glance instead, before turning back to Sam. “I told you specifically that the water pump was not the problem, and yet, here you are.”

“Yep, Samuel.”

You chuckled, Bucky shooting you a wink. “Yeah, Samuel.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at you, turning to Sarah. “In our defense, you were supposed to be done long before you woke up.”

You nearly facepalmed at his “defensive” and you were trying so hard to hold back laughing as she told Sam off, sending them away.

“I don’t wanna hear a peep from you.” Sam pointed at you, but that only made your chortles come out, and you didn’t even bother hiding them. “She’s a very mean person.”

“It’s tough love.”

You giggled as they started arguing, slipping an arm around their waists, their arms instinctually coming up to your shoulders.

“Oh my God. A prowess?”

“Yes, Y/N. A prowess.”

“You know, maybe if you someone let me help-”

“Hey, woah! You were tired! I let you sleep! I was being nice!”

“Too late now. I’ll be lucky if Sarah lets me within a hundred feet of it!”

“She got you so good, Sammy!”

“I agree with Buck for once! You’re too snippy right now! And c’mon man! Stop flirting with my sister!”

“It’s my natural charm.”

“Charm? What charm?”

“Ouch, doll! That one hurt!”

****************

“Okay.” You stepped out of the bathroom, walking over to the couch and setting the bag down on it. “I’ve got everything packed. We’ve got a little over an hour until we need to head out which gives you two time to go set something up for Sammy and maybe even a bit or training before we leave.”

Bucky frowned. “You’re not gonna come out?”

“I will in a bit. I just got a phone call I need to take.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Government call?”

You gave a mocking smile. “Can you guess what they want to talk about? It’s okay. I’ll survive. It’s only a phone call, so I can always hang up. Pretend I didn’t have good service. I do it all the time.”

“I’m sure you do.” Sam chuckled. “In that case, I’m gonna go grab some stuff and get the shield.” As he walked out, he made sure to mouth at you behind Bucky’s back ‘conversation’ making you swallow thickly. You were planning on talking to Bucky anyways, and with Sam’s insistence…

“Okay, so, I was thinking when we get back-”

“Can I talk to you?”

Bucky stopped digging through the bag, blinking at you in surprise at your sudden burst. “Uh…well, we already are, so yes.” He chuckled, straightening and crossing his arms.

“I wanna have the conversation.”

He was left stunned, once again, his mouth opening and closing and his weight shifting form one foot to the other. “Like…that conversation? R-right now? Are you sure?”

You winced at her nervousness. “Sorry, sorry. I know it’s kinda…I just…I need to talk about it. Now.”

“Okay, okay. No, that’s fine. Don’t apologize. I just wasn’t expecting it.” Bucky cleared his throat. “That’s all.”

“Okay…” You breathed with a small nod. You opened your mouth, but Bucky shook his head.

“I hafta say this first; I didn’t mean to hurt you by telling you about Steve. I-I dunno what I thought. That it’d give you closure or something. I dunno. But it hurt you and I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Buck-”

“I was jealous. And guilty. And mad. And upset. I still am. Kinda. I guess. I dunno.” Bucky shook his head, running his hand through his hair and all you could do was gape at him as he started confessing to you. “Remember when we danced? In Madripoor? Doll…I don’t wanna dance ever again if it’s not with you. I fucking love you, Y/N. And not in the way we’ve said it before. I’m in love with you. I have been for-for a while now. I just - you were Steve’s. Steve loved you and you loved Steve and that was that and I was just the broken childhood best friend. But Steve left and he told me to take care of you and I didn’t know what to do with that, because you still love Steve. I think. I dunno. And I didn’t want to break what we have because you’re all I have left of him. You and that stupid shield. You’re my family. My home. I really meant it when I told you that. And that’s why I couldn’t tell you. Because it means too much for me to break what we have because I fell in love with my best friend’s girl. You know?”

He looked at you with pleading eyes, begging you to understand, but your brain was still trying to process what he was telling you.

“Oh God…” He groaned. “And now I just told you everything and you’re looking at me like that wasn’t what you wanted to hear and now I’m thinking this wasn’t the conversation you were thinking it was going to be-”

You were moving across the room before you could stop yourself, pulling him by the teal Henley you knew was comfortable having worn it to bed before when you visited him in New York, and slanting your lips over his.

His breathing hitched and he froze, and for a hot second you thought you made everything worse, but then he was kissing you back and his hands were on your hips and he was pulling you closer and it felt so fucking good you didn’t want to pull back for air.

“Shut up.” You muttered when you finally did pull back, your forehead against his, your eyes clenched shut. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.” You pulled back to look up at him, chests heaving against each other, your eyes prickling. “I’m not good at this. I’m not good at opening up. I only ever was good at it with Steve but Bucky…I’ve been doing it with you. This whole time and I didn’t even realize it until the conversation in the car.”

He reached up to cup your cheeks, wiping away the relieved tears that were falling from the weight you were finally getting off your chest.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. How could I not be? After all that time in Wakanda? I was never Steve’s girl, Bucky. I wanted to be. Dammit, did I wanna be, but I wasn’t. Not really. And he’s gone. But you’re not. And I don’t know why it took me so long to see that. That you’re the one in front of me. You’re the one who held me when I needed it once he left. You’re the one that would listen to my rambles that I’m just realizing was most of our phone calls. You’re not just the broken childhood friend. Don’t ever think that. I don’t pick up the phone at five in the morning after searching for a friend until two for just anyone. Even Steve’s best friend. And I’m such an idiot because I’ve been pushing away my feelings all these years for Steve and then I let them out with you at the wrong time, because I love Steve, Bucky, but I’m not in love with him. Not since I fell in love with you. And I know it doesn’t make sense, but Steve was the first one I cared about and that’s just how I feel and I can try to explain, but-”

His lips crashed onto yours again and you could taste the salty tears that were pouring down your cheeks, but you didn’t care. He was holding you and he was kissing you and it was even more perfect than you thought it’d be.

“You’re adorable when you ramble, but Jesus Christ, shuddup, doll.” He breathed. “Just tell me you love me. Tell me you love me just a fraction of how much I love you.”

You looked up into those ocean eyes, your own shining with earnest affection. “James Buchanan Barnes. I love you.”

“That’s all I need to know.” He murmured against your lips, holding your head against his, still wiping away your tears. It felt like with each one that fell, you felt lighter and lighter. Like they were taking away every fear and anxiety you held within you for the past six months.

“Alright! I was thinking we could just set up in these trees out here - holy shit! Is it done? Did you do it? Did I miss it? Has the conversation been had?”

Bucky chuckled as you giggled. “He has the worst timing.” The last two words were loud enough so Sam could hear, although the man heard the whole sentence.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes!” Sam cheered. “Halle-fucking-lujah! Finally! I was that close to locking you two in the attic.”

You shook your head at Sam’s personal celebration, drowning the rest of his words out as you looked at Bucky, who swept his thumb over your cheek catching one last tear, before pecking your lips.

“I finally get to kiss where I really want to.” He spoke softly, kissing your lips again. “Are you mine, doll?”

“I thought you said I’d always be your doll.” You answered cheekily. He grinned, kissing you again, pulling you against him by the hips.

“Okay, okay! That’s enough! We get it! You’re in love, finally, but I don’t wanna see it anymore! Now will you come help me with this shit?”

Bucky left one more lingering kiss on your lips, before you pushed him away reluctantly. “I’ll be right out.”

He nodded, moving over to help Sam carry the things he’d gathered.

You watched them put it all up from the window, gnawing on your cheek as you spun your phone in your hands. Coming to a decision, you tossed your phone in the duffle bag and walked out with it just as the boys finished.

“That was a quick phone call.” Sam raised an eyebrow.

You shrugged. “Didn’t call them. If they really need me, they’ll find me.”

Bucky grinned as you set the bag down under a tree, pecking your lips when you got close enough for him to grab by the waist to hold you against him. You rolled your eyes, shoving him playfully away and giggling as Sam let out a groan.

“Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got, Sammy.”

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Bucky knew he needed the tough love talk Sam was giving him. He needed to hear it. Because, deep down, he had known it all along, he just refused to believe it. He tried doing it. Making amends. He knew he wasn’t though. And of course he knew immediately who that one person would be.

“And hey.” Bucky looked at him. “Let me tell you what. Telling my girl all that you told her? That’s a good start. I’m proud of you. Both of you. You’re already happier. I can see it in your eyes.”

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head as he thought of the gorgeous woman he nearly let slip through his fingers. He looked over to the house, where she was inside somewhere getting ready after suddenly deciding she needed to shower before they left. “I was stupid.”

“Yeah you were. You both were. I’m so relieved it’s over.” Sam nudged him. “Treat her right, Buck. She deserves it.”

“I know…I just hope I can.”

Sam shook his head. “Uh-uh. Don’t do that. You were just starting to use that cyborg brain of yours! She chose you. And before you say anything,” Sam cut Bucky off from speaking as he opened his mouth to object. “She chose you before Steve left. It just took her dumbass this long to realize it.”

Bucky nodded, a small smile on his face. “Yeah…okay…” Before he could say anything, the goddess herself stepped out, jogging over, looking absolutely amazing in her jeans and his t-shirt. “Good talk.”

Sam laughed at his quick ending of the conversation as she came up besides them. “Talking about me?” She asked cheekily, eyes shining. Bucky couldn’t help but take her under his arm, pecking her lips. Now that he could, he didn’t think he could stop. He was addicted to say the least.

Throwing Bucky a wink, Sam shrugged. “Just all the things that get on our nerves.”

“Ha ha.” She rolled her eyes. “We better get going.”

Bucky and Sam clapped hands. “You know Karli won’t quit.”

Bucky smiled. “Ah. You call us when you have a lead and we’ll be there.”

Y/N stepped forwards to give Sam a hug. “Anytime, Sammy.”

“Eh. Anytime between noon and midnight.” Bucky corrected. “Or noon and ten. Noon and five…you better just call at noon to be safe.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure.”

“Not necessarily as a team.” Bucky continued, grabbing the bag, getting Y/N back in her spot at his side under his arm.

“Nope!”

“We’re not that good.”

“Definitely not.”

“We’re professionals.”

“Definitely.”

“And, uh, we’re partners.”

Sam snapped, pointing at him. “Coworkers.”

“But we’re also a couple of guys with a couple mutual friends.”

“Ones now gone and you’re dating the other.”

“So we’re a couple of guys…with a badass to help out.”

“I can live with that.”

“Perfect.”

“Oh my God.” Y/N let out that laugh Bucky could never get enough of, shaking her head at the two of them. “You forgot dumbasses.”

Sam shook his head. “Nuh-uh. That’s your couple name.”

“Dumbasses?”

“Oh yeah.” The three of them came to a stop, Bucky and his girl - God he loved confirming it now - facing Sam. “Thanks for the help, guys. Meant a lot.”

Bucky patted his shoulder. “Of course.”

Y/N shot him a wink. “Until we meet again, Sammy.”

“Until then, cher.”

Bucky couldn’t stop his grin as she wrapped her arms around his waist, the two of them starting to walk to the main road where she already ordered an Uber. He looked down at her, kissing her lips for the nth time in the past hour.

“I wish I didn’t wait so long,” he told her seriously. “But I’d wait a thousands more centuries if it meant I get to call you mine.”

She giggled, shaking her head. “You’re such a sap! But…” she moved up to kiss him and his heart stuttered. He knew he had a goofy grin on when she pulled back, but he couldn’t help it. Especially when she laughed again. “I have to agree with you on that, Buckaroo.”

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