#this just reminded me. my own hoodie is absolutely stripped at the elbows and one of them started developing a hole that i should fix-

[hardware-sparks]

A little bedroom doodle I guess idk-

[duskamethyst]

only mine.

a/n: my first bnha fic! im in love with the anime and i simp for so many characters aha

word count: 1.6k

genre: mature, implied nsfw (characters are aged up)

warnings: kidnapping, drugging, yandere behavior

pairing: yan!kaminari x gn!reader

summary: you and kaminari are fuck buddies. 

“man, can’t you just sleep over?” kaminari groans as he rolls onto his side, his elbow props himself up to watch you get off the bed to collect your clothes that were stripped and thrown onto the floor. 

“denki, no.” you say sternly while putting on your hoodie, missing the pouty look on the male’s face. 

“not even for one night?” he pleads. 

“nope!” you stick out your tongue teasingly before walking towards the door and turning the knob. “not ever.”

“sheesh, you’re such a hardass.” 

“call me whatever you want,” you roll your eyes as you step out and slowly close the door before peeking your head in again, “see ya.”

it has been months since you and kaminari been fucking on each other’s bed. it started with small talks before he (quickly-- after just a couple of times seeing each other)  began to openly flirt with you. kaminari was a fun a guy to be around with, kind of dumb and he looked like he meant no harm. you decided to entertain the fellow, shamelessly retaliate his flirtatious behavior (which was so much better than his game that it made him flustered often) until the both of you found yourselves together, bare and dripping with sweat in bed. 

you and kaminari formed a “pact” that it should remain as is, no strings attached and leaving the only label on it as fwb. being each others’ booty call is hell lot of fun, the sex is bomb and you don’t have to commit and have feelings for each other. you made it clear that this should remain a secret and that you both are free to fuck around with other people too but as much you’d like to believe that he understood it, kaminari never failed to constantly spam your phone with unnecessary texts about your well being, how your day went or asking if you wanted to go to shopping with him. it was a bit suffocating but if he was lucky enough, he’d get a short reply if not left on read.

you stick to your own belief that is to leave as soon as you’re done wrecking each other. no cuddles, no pillow talks or whatever those cheesy things couples normally do because the more time you spend together, there would be no doubt that one of you would start to catch feelings and it’s the last thing you want to have right now. the longest that you would stay at his place was only to take a quick shower after doing the deed, but not before having him almost begging to come in with you.

still, that doesn’t stop the male to often ask you to hang out and stay with him after a couple of hours together. you had to constantly remind him how this whole thing works but sometimes you could still see how he was burning holes behind other people who he thought was looking at you for too long or making you laugh too much and you couldn’t help but to wonder if he was taking this differently from you. whenever you confronted him about it, he’d get extremely defensive about his behavior and said you were just imagining it or that he was joking. not wanting to argue any further, you’d often leave it at that.

hanging around with the guys is when his little antics gets worse. kirishima often invites the crew to his place to play video games and he always manages to find a way to lay a finger on you or openly flirts with you. he’d usually make sure that he is the one that gets to sit next to you or purposely hangs an arm protectively around your shoulders as he casually speaks to the others-- which earns the both of you some weird looks. kaminari notices it and he lives for it. it makes him even prouder to be able to claim you in some sort of way.

“been kinda wondering-- you guys are fucking each other or something?” sero suddenly questions while his eyes are glued to the screen in desperation of beating bakugou in the racing game.

“hell ye- OUCH!” you yank your elbow on kaminari’s side to cut him off.

“who the hell would?” you quickly reply, earning some laughs from the other males present. 

“then, you’re free after this?” he turns his head to wink at you, giving a small room of opportunity for bakugou to slip through sero’s car and eventually finish the whole two laps. 

the blonde male grunts and hits sero’s head with his controller, “fucking idiot! you didn’t even take this seriously! kirishima! you’re next!”

“well, someone’s bound to take care of that bump on your head now, huh?” you tease, and sero is one to quickly catch on to that as a wide grin spreads across his face. 

“dude, i owe you one!” he chuckles and lightly taps on bakugou’s shoulder. 

“i should’ve kicked you in the balls.” he grumbles, finger expertly pushing one of the joysticks as he chooses his preferred sports car for the next race.

the night goes on as usual, each of you taking turns on the racing game that bakugou insists on only playing for the rest of the night which none of you dared to say otherwise. everyone has their shares of laughs, you think-- missing the scowl on kaminari’s face whenever you choose to only spare him your half-assed attention while sero shows you his collection of memes on his phone. it’s probably mean of him to think how sero looks like a fucking simp that has to impress you in order to woo you for the night but he couldn’t care less. he knows you best-- knows how you do things your way and seeing you “subtly” being flirtatious right in front of his face angers him to no end. 

you’re acting like it, like a... what was it again? a whore? it has been at the tip of his tongue but he doesn’t dare to say it. he feels bad enough to even think about you that way and know that he shouldn’t since you both are in this stupid “relationship” that people use as an excuse just to hop from one dick or pussy to another because they’re too “afraid” of or don’t want any commitments or whatever. kaminari gets the idea, he’s not that dense but it’s unfair how he can’t bring himself to do things like you-- not when he’s already catching feelings this quick.

for the sake of not wanting to ruin the night nor the only thing that binds you to him, he chooses to keep his cool until you guys part ways. he doesn’t even realize how hard he’s clenching his fists when he finds out that you left with sero while he’s gone for a bathroom break. 

— come over tonight? ;-)

a week has passed since that night. you notice that kaminari haven’t been constantly flooding your inbox like he used to and it has been the least of your worries. in fact, you enjoyed it. you had your time being around other people more without having them to think that he’s a threat to them and he was less touchy than he used to be. you have no clue about the reason for his change in attitude and you couldn’t find the reason to ponder about it anyways.

he comes over as asked, an activity that is far from foreign for the both of you. kaminari happily shows you the bottle of booze from his bag as he enters your home-- neither of you has to say it, you both know that you’re going to have mindless, drunk sex tonight. 

“don’t worry, i’ll make sure to sleep on the couch.” he reassures, pouring the liquor into two glasses in your kitchen as you sit down lazily on the couch. 

“you better be,” you reply, going through the movies available on netflix from the tv screen. “you can choose what you wanna watch.”

kaminari walks over and offers you one of the glasses before sitting down next to you. he goes through the movies before choosing one, sipping on his drink and glancing towards you through the corner of his eyes once in a while. he can’t help but to suppress a smile through his glass when he catches you take a gulp and your face squirm at the bitter taste. 

“it’s so strong.” you mumble after a few more sips and a few minutes into the movie that you are trying to pay attention to. you believe that your alcohol tolerance isn’t that bad but the way those few sips are already making your head spin instead of the familiar high that should succumb your mind by now.

“for real? i think you’re just imagining it.” he replies coyly as his eyes bore through the screen.

“i’m not--” the spinning starts to become unbearable and your eyelids are getting heavy so you quickly lay your head down and close your eyes on the couch in an attempt to soothe it down before kaminari reaches to rub smooth circles on your head.

“shh, do you wanna puke?” his voice is too calm despite the situation. knowing him, he’d be absolutely frantic when things go wrong. you try to open your eyes, but the lights do nothing but cruelly inflict the pain even more. 

“no.. i just-- carry me to bed..?” you whine as you welcome the comfort he’s offering.

kaminari just watches you as you slowly drift into a deep slumber, your chest heaving up and down as you breathe. he calls your name a few times to test the waters before he finally lets out a sinister chuckle and hovers over your body to kiss your cheek.

“poor baby. don’t worry, i’ll bring you somewhere nicer.” he whispers as he gazes adoringly at your unlively state. so vulnerable. 

“then i can have you all to myself.”

duskamethyst © 2020 • do not modify, translate or repost anywhere.

[talkfastromance4]

Three Days of Love--Luke&Lily Valentine’s Day Special

A little love from Luke and our flower girls!🥰💕

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: implied sexual situations, mentions of pregnancy and morning sickness

Luke&Lily Masterlist

***

February is a very fun month for the Hemmings household. Yours and Luke’s anniversary is on the 8th and then there’s Valentine’s Day which the girls have always loved. Lily loved having you and Luke help make her Valentine’s Day mailbox for school; she loved using glitter and placing hearts all over it. Posy loved to make and decorate the heart shaped cookies you always baked and made one special for Ashton who boasted about it for days.

This year was a little different because ever since you found out you’re pregnant again, your morning sickness has been every day and all hours of the day.

You’ve had a migraine ever since you dropped Lily off at school. You gave her a kiss, made sure she had her Valentine’s all ready to hand out (a special glitter one was for Roman only) and reminded her Cory and Ella would be picking her up after school.

Thankfully, work was on the slower side, but your head and shoulders were full of pain and even the slightest bit of movement made your stomach turn but you never got sick which was a very small win considering. Halfway through the day there was a knock on your door and a man with a large red box and a white bow strode in.

“Y/N Hemmings?” he asks.

“Yes, that’s me,” you respond watching him set the box on your desk. There’s a small card under the ribbon with your name on it. You’d recognize Luke’s loopy script anywhere.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” the delivery guy says and leaves the room.

You pull the box towards you slowly, making sure your stomach stays inside, and open the envelope. It’s a small card with two little lovebirds on the front. On the inside he wrote:

I couldn’t ask for a more wonderful wife than you. Thank you for being the wonderful woman you are and for being mine. You’re a bird, I’m a bird and we create the sweetest song. I love you endlessly my love.

xx Luke

The tears of love and tenderness fall freely, you won’t even deny it’s partially from your hormones, but Luke is the sweetest and you can’t wait to go home to him and spend the weekend together. You untie the ribbon and lift the box to see a beautiful display of red, pink, and white roses designed into a heart shaped ‘wreath.’ The smell is intoxicatingly sweet, but in a good way. At the bottom of the heart is another ribbon with the words ‘My Sweetheart’ written in glittered calligraphy.

How’d you get so lucky with Luke?

**

By the time you get home, your feet are sore, your breasts are tender, and you’re absolutely famished. Your nausea tends to disappear at nighttime, and you want to eat everything in sight. When you open the door and kick off your shoes, you see a display of all your favorite foods on the counter.

Luke and Posy are sitting at the kitchen table coloring in her coloring book she got from Ashton.

“Mama home!” she shrieks dropping her red crayon and slipping off the kitchen chair. Luke’s hands hover around her little body to make sure she doesn’t bang her head on the edge of the table, then she runs to you.

You set your box with Luke’s delivery on the table and lift her in your arms.

“Hi, my love bug,” you kiss her cheek and wipe away a leftover crumb from her goldfish cookies. “What are you coloring with daddy?”

“Veggies!” she raises her arms and you peer at the table just as Luke stands up. He’s wearing basketball shorts and his black FOF hoodie. He looks extra cozy.

“Ashton better frame each of these on his fridge since he’s such a veggie man,” Luke grins grabbing onto your elbow. He ducks down to give you a soft kiss. “Welcome home, lovie.”

“Hi,” you respond almost shyly, bringing his hand into yours. “What’s with all the food?”

“This is the first gift of the weekend. I have all the food you’ve been able to tolerate right now and the three of us are going to watch Princess movies until this little one’s bedtime.” He pinches Posy’s cheek lovingly; she giggles in response.

“And what are the two of us going to do, then?”

“You’ll see,” he winks. “Let’s eat.”

After singing and reading Posy to sleep, Luke takes your hand and leads you into your bedroom then into the bathroom. There’s candles lit, soft music playing, and the bath is drawn complete with bubbles and rose petals.

“Oh, Luke,” you exhale breathing in the warm glow of the room.

“I have your pajamas on the counter and bought you some new lotion,” he kisses your neck before pushing you closer to the safe haven of water. “I have your playlist set up but if you want to watch your shows or a movie, that’s all set up too.”

“Aren’t you going to join me?” you turn to face him, a slight pout on your face. His blue eyes dance with the flickering of the candles.

“Not tonight. Tonight, this is all for you,” he kisses your forehead. “Tomorrow it’s you and me because Posy is spending the night with Ashton and KayKay. More surprises are coming your way, Mrs. Hemmings.”

He gives you a soft peck, but you keep him closer by holding onto his neck. You press your body against his, feeling how warm he is, and your fingers tangle in his curls.

“I’d rather have you make me come…” you murmur. He groans.

“We have all of tomorrow and well into the night for that, trust me,” he gives you one more kiss. “Now, get in there before I change my mind.”

“Yes sir,” you sigh slinking away from him. He makes another audible groan, and you smile to yourself as you start to strip.

You peek behind your shoulder to see him watching you, his fingers stroking the sides of his beard that you’ve been aching to feel between your legs. The way he’s watching you gives you butterflies, it’s with such an intensity as his eyes follow your slow movements. The way he’s looking at you doesn’t even make you think about your stretch marks or the extra parts of skin you just can’t get rid of. The way he’s looking at you makes you feel…empowered and sexy.

“Stop looking at me like that,” you say bashfully and climb in the tub carefully. The water is the perfect temperature as you sink further in.

“Like what?” he asks picking up the tub remote. He turns on the jets.

“Like you’re about to devour me,” you pick up one of the red petals and give it a sniff.

“That’s for tomorrow, lovie. Enjoy your bath,” he kisses the air in your direction then exits the room.

**

You’re woken up to Posy’s cries from down the hall. Your muscles still feel relaxed from your bath and as you stir, Luke does as well.

“I’ll get her,” he grunts trying to get up.

“I got her, stay in bed,” you pat his shoulder affectionately and get out of bed. Petunia follows you into Posy’s room. “Good morning, Po!”

“Morn’mama!” she sits up in her crib, her curls looking like a rat’s nest from just waking up. “Unca Ash?”

“Not yet, Posy,” you shake your head lifting her from the crib and to her changing table. “Uncle Ash will be here at lunchtime. What do you want for breakfast?”

“Waffles!”

After breakfast, going for a morning walk, and Posy’s nap. It’s time for Ashton to come pick her up for her sleepover. Luke already has her overnight bag packed with all her essentials ready to go. After your shower, there was another little card pressed in the mirror’s edge.

Wifey was written on the outside. When you opened it you read,

While I prepare for OUR special night tonight, you will enjoy a full spa treatment. Mani pedis, a facial, and a ninety-minute massage. When you come home, you’ll be in the dojo of our love.

“You’re ridiculous,” you murmur into Luke’s neck from behind the couch. You pepper his cheek in kisses, his soft beard tickling your lips. He’s watching Blue’s Clues with Posy until Ashton arrives.

“How so?” he laughs craning his neck to look at you.

“You’re spoiling me way too much this weekend,” you wrap your arms around him.

“It’s my job to spoil you,” he hums and kisses your jaw.

“Where’s my favorite two-year-old?” Ashton’s voice booms as he enters your house.

Posy gasps and is quick to hop off the couch.

“Careful, Pose, careful!” Luke reprimands gently as she darts towards Ashton’s voice.

“Unca Ash!”

“Hi my girl! Are you ready for pizza and chocolate and dance parties and jumping on the bed?” Ashton tallies off as he spins Posy around.

“Ashton, do not—”

“Don’t worry, I’m supervising the children,” KayKay smiles shaking her head at the pair. “There will be pizza and chocolate and a dance party…but we don’t jump on the bed.”

You and Luke laugh at her statement but know full well the couple will take care of your Posy. She always has a fun time at their house.

“Thanks for taking her again,” Luke stands up from the couch. You follow him as he lifts Posy’s things to Ashton. “Want to have a special night with my lady.”

“Then why are you sending me away?” you laugh.

“It’s all a gift!”

“Ridiculous,” you shake your head at him fondly. “You be good for Uncle Ash and Aunt KayKay, Posy Mae, okay?”

“Otay, mama,” Posy smiles reaching her arms out to you. “Bye.”

“Bye, I love you,” you hug her tight and kiss her cheek before handing her off to Luke.

“We’ll see you tomorrow when we go pick up Lily. Have fun, yeah?” Luke pokes her nose, and she nods. “I love you, bug.”

“Love you!” she wriggles out of Luke’s arms to the floor then grabs KayKay’s hands tugging her to the door. “Time to go!”

“What time will you be by tomorrow?” Ashton asks hefting her two bags on his shoulders.

“Around ten, then we’ll get Lils from Cory’s,” Luke explains.

“Awesome, see you then. Have fun you two,” Ashton winks then follows his own love and Posy out the door. KayKay and Posy are singing baby shark, a song that Ashton introduced her to and wouldn’t stop singing for weeks.

“And then there were two,” you sigh dramatically twisting around to face Luke. You intertwine your fingers with his, grinning up at him like a lovesick puppy.

“Technically three,” his eyes drop to your stomach that is just starting to show. “How are you feeling today?”

“In love with my husband. And also wondering what he has up his sleeve,” you giggle.

“You’ll see soon enough, lovie,” he smiles.

**

Your spa day was very much enjoyed and went by too fast but that just made you more excited to get home to Luke and what he was planning. Before you left for your day, he told you to call him before you were on your way, so you did.

“Hi lovie,” he greets before the second ring went off. “How was your relaxation?”

“Amazing,” you sigh pulling away from the curb. “Am I safe to come home?”

“You are,” his voice surrounds the whole car over the Bluetooth. “Before you come inside…there’s something you need to grab from the mailbox first. Then ring the doorbell.”

You make a face at the odd set of rules.

“Uhh…okay? That’s oddly specific,” you laugh.

“I’ll see you soon. Drive safe.”

When you open the mailbox there’s a small box inside. You open it to see the cotton nightgown he bought you for your anniversary this year. It’s a blushing pink with white lace along the breasts and on the hem. It was also very see-through cotton. On top of the nightgown was a red blindfold with the words ‘sexy time’ written across the eyes.

“Ridiculous,” you chuckle and make your way to the front door. You ring the doorbell like he said and he’s quick to open and shut it behind him before you can peek inside.

“Let me put this on you,” he takes the blindfold holding it over your eyes. His fingers are gentle as he ties the satin, he kisses the crown of your head. “Now I’m going to lead you to the bedroom and you’re going to put this on for me and come into the living room.”

His lips graze your ear as he tells you the next set of instructions. You smell and abundant aroma of sweet flowers as you pass the living room. He spins you around, gives you a knee buckling kiss then takes the blindfold off.

“I’ll see you out there,” he hums.

When the door snaps shut, you move as quickly as you can to take off your clothes and put on the nightgown. You’re glad you shaved this morning in the shower. You freshen up a little bit, spritz on a bit of perfume and make your way downstairs where you hear Luke playing guitar.

When you turn the corner, you recognize it as ‘stuck in gravity’ which is your wedding song and Luke is sitting on the floor on a large, white fur rug. His black shirt is open, exposing the planes of his chest while he plays and hums along to the lyrics. He lifts his eyes to you, smirks, then starts to sing.

If he didn’t take your breath away then the rest of the room did. There’s balloons everywhere, fuzzy pillows and an array of sweet treats on the coffee table. A pink balloon is in front of the table forming the word ‘love’ and in front of Luke is a red rose.

“Luke…”

“Yeah, this high, high love that you give to me is dripping down my hands like honey, it’s all I’m missing…”

You take in the whole room, amazed at the twinkly lights and candles. The pool even has floating flowers that are lit up shining through the sliding doors. You move towards him, the fur rug tickling your toes and you sit next to him. He sings of dripping honey, but his voice is what sounds like it. when he’s finished the song, you launch yourself at him, kissing him hungrily.

“You’re the most amazing, thoughtful, kind, and best husband,” you tell him. He chuckles beneath you and shifts the guitar from his lap.

“And you’re the most wonderful, kind, loving, and sexiest wife,” he whispers.

He lays you down gently on the fur rug. You moan at the comfort of it and at Luke’s hand slipping up your nightgown. You make love amongst the flowers and sweet delicacies; his heavy breathing and your soft moans fill your space of love.

You eat the food he’s prepared, feeding each other chocolate covered strawberries. When a drop of chocolate drops on your shoulder, Luke is quick to lick it up and it’s your turn to push him on the floor.

It’s a night where you’re the only two in the world. Loving on each other, whispering sweet sentiments, fingers and hands exploring spaces you’ve memorized. You’ve never felt so loved.

**

Posy runs up the walk to Cory and Ella’s door where Ella is standing smiling and waving. She lifts Posy in her arms and waits for you and Luke to come inside.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, guys!” she says giving you both a hug.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” you smile and take a good look at her. She’s almost a month further in her pregnancy than you are and she’s glowing with the perfect bump.

“I hope you two had a good night,” she nudges your elbow knowingly.

“The best. Luke spoils me too much,” you throw him a look and he grins.

“Mama! Daddy!” Lily exclaims bounding to you and Luke.

“Hi my sweet! How was your weekend?” Luke swings her up in his arms.

“Fun! I made you all Valentine’s!” Lily says happily. “And I got this from Roman.”

You and Luke look down at her hands that are touching a candy necklace. There’s a big heart in the center that says ‘be mine’ on it. You share a look with Luke. Roman and Lily have been best friends since kindergarten, you and his moms always tease about them getting married someday. Trina and Sophie are one of your closest friends and they’ve raised Roman to be such a gentleman.

He’s so sweet with Lily but he also brings her out of her shell a little bit. They’re a great pair of friends and now you know why she gave him the only card with glitter on it.

“That’s very pretty, Lily,” you smile. “Did you say thank you?”

“Yep! He liked my card and said he’d use it as a bookmark!”

“Hey guys,” Cory says. “Brunch is just about done if you want to head out back. Hey man.”

Luke and Cory shake hands then Cory gives you a sweet kiss on the cheek. You follow Ella to the backyard where they have a nice table set up with a pink tablecloth and a vase of daisies.

“I picked the flowers!” Lily states proudly pointing to them from Luke’s arms.

“They’re very pretty, my sweet, you did such a good job,” Luke kisses her cheek. “What are we having for breakfast?”

“She also selected the menu,” Ella smiles sitting down in a chair. She situates Posy on her lap. You sit next to her and give Posy one of her toys she brought to play with.

“Can I try and guess?” Luke asks and Lily nods while he sits next to you. “Hmm…I think Lily would pick…blueberry pancakes…hard boiled eggs…. prune juice….and turnips.”

“No! Wrong, dada!” Lily laughs heartily.

“What? What was I wrong about?” he fakes surprise.

“It’s scrambled eggs and orange juice and no yucky turnips!” she pokes his dimple.

“No turnips? Hmm…then…are we having cupcakes?”

“Cookies! I decorated with sprinkles!” she claps her hands excitedly.

“She did a very good job, too,” Ella praises.

“It sounds like a delicious meal, I can’t wait to eat it,” Luke smiles and kisses her forehead just as Cory comes out.

“We also have bacon and breakfast sausages; Ella’s been craving bacon.”

“Mm, and I’ve been craving breakfast sausage,” you smack your lips.

“Yeah you have,” Luke smirks over Lily’s head and you give him a stern look.

You learn about what else Lily did this weekend. She helped Ella pick out a design for the baby’s room and Ella cried when Lily presented her with Valentine’s cards for her and the baby. Lily’s really excited to be getting two more siblings.

“Are you two going to find out what you’re having?” Ella asks as you all sit back and let your food digest.

“I don’t think so, we want to be surprised,” you nod at Luke who’s also nodding.

“Are you going to find out?” Luke asks rubbing Lily’s back.

“Yeah, we want to know,” Cory smiles. We’re playing around with a few names, but nothing is really sticking.”

“How’s your morning sickness going?” Ella asks while Luke and Cory change the subject to a new lawnmower they read about.

“Still bad,” you laugh rubbing at your belly. “Luke got most of the things that were making me sick out of the house, and I calm down more at night. What about you?”

“I literally threw up before you got here,” she grimaces.

“Oh no, do you want us to go? You can go lay down,” you tell her.

“No, no, it’s okay. I want to hang out with you guys,” she smiles. “It comes in waves. Lily was such a big help this weekend, you’ve got one special little girl.”

“And me!” Posy shouts.

“Yes, and you, Po,” Ella laughs brushing her hair away from Posy’s forehead.

“She’s excited to be a big sister to your baby,” you tell Ella.

“I’m glad. I don’t want her to think Cory will forget about her or something…”

“I don’t think she thinks that. She knows he loves her.”

“I’m secretly hoping we’re having a girl,” Ella says in a hushed tone.

“As soon as you find out, I want to know!”

“We’ll have a party, don’t worry,” she smiles.

You spend another hour at Cory and Ella’s place then Posy is yawning. It’s almost time for her nap and you know she’s going to be asleep as soon as she’s in her car seat. You all hug each other goodbye, promising to get together next weekend.

Lily tells you and Luke all about her day at school Friday. She said everyone loved the glitter on her mailbox and she loved shopping with Ella. When you got home, Luke took Posy to her crib to finish her nap and the three of you looked through her Valentine’s from the rest of her class.

“Wait!” Lily slips off the couch and goes to her backpack. When she comes back she has two big cards and hands one to each of you. “I made these with Daddy and Ella.”

“Are these for us?” you ask and see her lopsided writing of ‘Mama’ on the front. There’s glitter and stick figures you’re assuming is you and Lily.

“Uh-huh,” she smiles joining you on the couch again.

You open it up and see Ella wrote what Lily probably told her to write.

“Read it out loud!”

“’Dear mama,’” you begin and pull her close, “’I love how you play with my hair and always make bad dreams go away. You’re the best mama. I love watching movies and finding rocks at the beach. Love your Lily.’ Oh, honey, I love it, thank you so much,” you cry into her hair and give her a big hug. You��re very emotional today and her sweet words pierced your heart in the best way.

“Dada’s turn!”

Luke clears his throat and opens the card dramatically.

“’Dear dada, I love when you sing, and I love singing frozen together. You make me laugh and I love when you make me chili! I miss you when I’m gone or you’re with Unca Cal playing for the people. I love you lots and lots. Love your sweet.’”

Luke is speechless and you’re crying even harder at her sweet words.

“You thought of all that by yourself?” you ask her.

“I did. Ella helped write because I don’t know some words. Do you like it?”

“We love it,” Luke tells her and pulls her on his lap. He hugs her tightly. “Thank you, Lily. I love you very much.”

“Love you, too, dada.”

For the rest of the day, you play outside. While Lily and Posy are playing with Petunia, you give Luke his present which are plane tickets to Australia. It’s been a while since you’ve been there and you want to head out before the baby arrives. His gift to you was a bracelet of pearls. It’s a lovely weekend that you never wanted to end.

Taglist: @calpalirwin @myloverboyash @loveroflrh @cxddlyash @princesslrh @spicylftv @notinthesameguey @itjustkindahappenedreally @calumance @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sarcastically-defensive17 @another-lonely-heart @devilatmydoor @thatscooibaby @suchalonelysunflower @dead-and-golden​ @mymindwide​ @blackbutterfliescal​ @redrattlers​ @karajaynetoday​ @quasighost​ @i-like-5sos​ @creampiecashton​ @calpops​ @littledrummeraussie​ @sexgodashton​

[lloydskywalkers]

n stands for neutral

So the trend is to just kill everyone with angst today, huh? Huh? It’s not like I need love and happiness in my life anyways-

“I can’t believe this.”

“You really should’ve seen it coming.”

“From everyone else, maybe, but from you? I trusted you, Kai.”

“Lloyd—“

“You were supposed to be my brother!”

(Haha psYCH this isn’t even angst, somebody’s gotta bring balance to the force so here is!! totally self-indulgent bros being idiots, aka Kai tries to teach Lloyd how to drive, as inspired by treasured classic Disney Channel show The Suite Life of Zach and Cody.) 

“I can’t believe this.”

“You really should’ve seen it coming.”

“From everyone else, maybe, but from you? I trusted you, Kai.”

“Lloyd—“

“You were supposed to be my brother!”

“For the love of—“ Kai turns around in the driver’s seat, staring at Lloyd where he’s (very much against his will) sitting in the passenger’s seat with his knees pulled up to his chest. “Are you seriously quoting Star Wars at me right now?”

“You tell me, Anakin Mc-Scarface, you traitor.”

Kai rubs a hand across his face, counting to three under his breath. “You are the worst drama queen, you know that, right.”

Lloyd folds his arms across his chest, looking grumpier than the wet cat Kai had rescued from a drainage flood the other day. “Takes one to know one,” Lloyd mutters.

“Look, I’m still serious about picking up that cookie cake, promise,” Kai says, wincing a bit at the reminder that he has, technically, stabbed Lloyd in the back, just a tiny bit. “Driving practice is just a stop on the way.”

Lloyd shoots him one of those I’m-Gonna-Flaunt-My-Overlord-Heritage looks, the one that could strip paint from a wall.

“I don’t need a stupid driver’s license.”

“Yes, you do!” Kai exclaims, throwing his hand up in the air. “What are you gonna do if you need to get somewhere? What are you gonna do if you get pulled over?”

Lloyd’s lip juts out stubbornly. “I’m gonna light the car on fire and fly away on a dregon.”

Kai wonders briefly if this is how Nya feels. “You’re the worst gremlin of a brother I’ve ever had.”

“And you’re a stir-fried ice cream head.”

“I should’ve let you burn in the fire temple,” Kai mutters, as he pulls the car into a mostly-empty parking lot.

“But you didn’t,” Lloyd says, a bit more cheerfully.

“A tragic mistake, really,” Kai sighs.

“Yeah,” Lloyd says, propping his elbows up on the armrest of Kai’s seat and grinning at him. “Just think — then you could’ve been the green ninja right now. Blew your chance.”

“It might not be too late,” Kai says, side-eyeing him. “I could still off you and steal the green gi, you know.”

Lloyd snorts. “Yeah, then you could give the motivational team speeches—“

“You haven’t set a super high bar—“

“—and you get to fend off whatever rabid ex-student of Sensei Wu comes by next week—“

“On second thought—“

“—and you’d get Garmadon for a dad—“

“No I wouldn’t!”

“Well you’d have to see him all the time, at least—“

“Well that’s the nail in the coffin, there.”

Lloyd giggles, falling back in his seat. “As if you could defeat me anyways,” he says, smugly.

“Oh yeah?” Kai says, pulling the car into one of the vacant parking spots (not that it matters, the entire lot is empty save for one car in the corner, but you know, lessons). “How about this: I’ll trade you five cookie cakes for the green gi—“

“Done.”

Kai blinks, his hand pausing on the gear shift as he shifts it into park. “Seriously? That’s it?”

“I’d probably trade it for one,” Lloyd says, messing absently with the string on his hoodie. “Cookies are a way better trade off.”

Kai has words for that, but he desists. The Preeminent was only a few months ago, after all, and not that long ago Lloyd had a greasy emo jerk possess him because he was salty that he wasn’t the chosen one.

Kai suppresses a snort. After meeting the guy, he honestly wonders why anyone was even surprised—

Anyways. Rant aside, Kai is on a mission here, and he’d promised Nya and the guys he’d have Lloyd driving like a pro when he came back. In hindsight, this was probably too big a promise on Kai’s part.

“Do I have to?” Lloyd complains, as Kai unbuckles his seatbelt and gestures for them to switch places. “We drive mechs, Kai, why do I even need to know how to drive a car?”

“Because,” Kai says, insistently. “This is a normal person check box. If you ever want to have a life outside of obsessive ninja training and world-saving, you gotta at least know how to parallel park.”

“You don’t even know how to parallel park,” Lloyd accuses.

Kai bristles. “Just because I hit another car once—“

“Twice.”

“—twice, doesn’t mean I haven’t parallel parked right before!”

“Sure,” Lloyd says, in a voice that sounds way too much like Kai’s own snarky skepticism, oh geez, has he created a monster when he wasn’t looking—

No, Kai decides, calming himself. He’s been nothing but a stellar role model, of course.

“Anyways, it’s an important part of growing up,” Kai says sagely, like the absolutely amazing older brother he is. “You’ve only got a certain number of important life events, and you already steamrolled past becoming a teen. We gotta treasure the rest. Getting your license, being old enough to vote, having alcohol for the first time—“

“Actually, I already had alcohol for the first time,” Lloyd corrects him.

“…what.”

“Yeah,” Lloyd says, wrinkling his nose. “When Morro possessed me he took this shot or something, it was super gross — wait, Kai, where are you going? Kai, get back in the car!”

“—find a way to the Departed Realm myself, and then I’ll show him where he can stick his shot glass—“

“Kai, please—“

“—shove his ugly emo head in a blender—“

“Kai, people are watching us!”

******

After a good ten minutes of Lloyd coaching Kai through calming exercises, and a bad five minutes of Lloyd dragging Kai by the hair back into the car before he tries his hand at necromancy, Kai finally convinces Lloyd to get into the driver’s seat.

This is, unfortunately, the easy part.

“Okay,” Kai says, pointing to the gear shift. “These here are super important, ‘cause if you put it in the wrong one, you’ll shoot backwards on accident.”

Lloyd snorts. “Speaking from experience?”

Kai shoots him a look. “Just listen, okay?”

Lloyd shrugs, but he doesn’t say anything else. Kai shakes his head. “Anyways, like I was saying — this is an automatic car, so it’s easier than stick shift, but you still gotta pay attention to the gear shift. It’s in park right now, which is the P, see?” Kai taps the transmission. “That means it won’t move, even if you hit the gas. If you want to move, you shift it into drive, which is D, right here. The R is for reverse, which is if you wanna go backwards. N is for neutral, which is pretty pointless I guess. And the L is for low, which means, uh….low,” Kai finishes awkwardly. Huh, maybe Nya should have taken this one…

He shakes that off and directs his attention back to Lloyd. “You got all that?”

Lloyd, who has been tuning him out for the last five minutes in favor of watching the little bee that’s outside their window buzz around the antenna, quickly yanks his attention back to Kai, trying to seem like he’s been listening like a diligent little brother the whole time.

“Yes. Totally got it. The PRDNL. Good to go.”

Kai narrows his eyes at him. “Then what’s the P stand for?”

Lloyd rolls his eyes. “Park, duh.”

“And the N?” Kai says, shrewdly.

“Uh…” Lloyd tries not to sweat. “Never hit…another car?”

Kai thunks his head against the glove compartment. “You’re not even gonna make into the car for the test,” he groans.

“It’s not my fault it’s so boring!” Lloyd defends. “All this stuff about the park and reverse and braking is stupid—“

“Really, the brakes are stupid?”

“You know what I mean!” Lloyd huffs, slouching down in the seat. “I don’t even want to be here.”

“Look,” Kai says, trying his very best not to make a crack about the five year-old that Lloyd is. “If you stop whining about it, I’ll make cookies with you when we get home.”

Lloyd eyes him, looking slightly more receptive. “Chocolate chip?”

“I was actually thinking oatmeal raisin this time, change it up a bit—“

Lloyd gags. “Oatmeal raisin?” he repeats, scandalized. “You’d rather have oatmeal raisin cookies than chocolate chip? Who are you, satan?”

“Yes,” Kai says, flatly. “I’m the devil incarnate.”

“The driving devil—“

“You know what, just go ahead and start driving,” Kai says, grinding his palms in his eyes. “You know which is brakes and which is the gas, right?”

“Obviously,” Lloyd rolls his eyes. “Get ready for the ultimate driving master, heh.”

“I can’t believe I helped raise you.”

“Psh, you were lucky to,” Lloyd says. Kai shakes his head, grinning against his better will. Lloyd falls quiet, and Kai watches him expectantly.

Then watches him expectantly for another minute.

“You can drive now.”

“…”

“…Lloyd.”

“…”

“Lloyd, you can drive.”

Lloyd remains frozen at the steering wheel, gripping it hard enough to creak. “Um.”

Kai stares at him. “Lloyd?”

“I’m going,” Lloyd says, tightly. “Just. Gimme a sec.”

Kai blinks, staring at him another minute. Lloyd makes no move, and the car doesn’t either, quietly puttering away in park.

Kai gestures to the gear shift. “Just start with changing the gear—“

“I know,” Lloyd grits out. “Stop putting so much pressure on me.”

“Pressure, I’m not even—“ Kai cuts off, trying not to face-palm. Okay, new tactic. “Just…imagine the road is Morro’s face,” Kai suggests.

Lloyd blinks. “What?”

“Imagine the road is Morro,” Kai repeats. “And you’re, uh, running him over if you drive.”

Lloyd turns this over in his head, the epiphany dawning on his face. “You’re right,” he says, his voice hushed. “If I knew how to drive, I could run him over.”

“Well yeah, I mean, if he wasn’t already dead, and that’s not quite the point I was going for there, but—“

“I changed my mind,” Lloyd says, a look of hellish glee in his eyes. “I like driving.”

Uh-oh.

“Don’t get carried away,” Kai says, sweating. “Here, just take it slow—“

Lloyd throws the car into drive, and— oof, there’s the gas, he was paying attention after all, apparently.

“Okay, that was a little rough, but so far, so — um, Lloyd?” Kai says, weakly. “Lloyd, you might wanna — you might wanna slow down a bit—“

“That would defeat the purpose,” Lloyd says, resolutely turning the steering wheel as they pick up speed.

Kai looks at him in alarm. “The purpose?”

A grin spreads across Lloyd’s face that looks way too much like it belongs on Garmadon’s face. “Of running Morro over.”

“Morro is hypothetical, Lloyd—!”

“I know, but—“ Lloyd pauses, a slight look of panic crossing his face. Kai follows his line of vision, and realizes that they’re now headed in the direction of the lone car in the lot with them.

“Uh, which one was the brakes again?”

Kai stares at him in disbelief. “The left.”

“The left what?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“The left what, Kai?!”

“The left pedal, Lloyd, hit it, hit it — no, with your foot, you idiot—“

As it turns out, they’re both idiots, as no one thinks to turn the wheel in time.

******

“Can I say a bad word.”

“No.”

“Rats.”

“I can’t believe this,” Kai moans. “There is literally one. One single car in this parking lot, and you still managed to hit it.”

“I’m going to prison,” Lloyd says sadly, surveying the two wrecked cars, Sensei’s old rented car neatly smashed into the considerably more expensive sports car, crushing the side in.

At least neither of them got hurt, Kai thinks, dully. Property damage was only kept to a few couple thousand dollars this time, that’s…probably a record for him and Lloyd, actually.

It’s still not good, but Kai is nothing if not a loyal brother, and if Lloyd goes down to his own inability to touch a car without wrecking it, he’ll go down with him. But preferably neither of them are going down, Kai likes living life outside prison.

“No, you aren’t,” Kai says, shaking his head and rising in determination. “You’re too young to go to prison.”

“Yeah, I haven’t even voted yet.”

“Cut the sass or I’ll make prison look like a playground next time I’m on training with you,” Kai says, tightly. “Look, we’re just gonna—“

There’s a slam from the door of the building near them, and Kai hears voices sound from around the corner. Lloyd takes a careful step behind him, going pale.

“Ah,” Kai says. “Okay!” he claps his hands together. “Lloyd, this next lesson is called hit and run, which is terrible and bad and you should never do, ever, however—“ Heavy footsteps round the corner. “Desperate times!” Kai yelps, grabbing Lloyd by the arm and hauling them both into a sprint. “Run for it!”

******

“Weren’t Kai and Lloyd supposed to be back by now?”

Nya looks up from her book, meeting Zane’s concerned expression. “They’re probably just taking their time,” she says. “Lloyd didn’t look super enthusiastic about driving.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Zane says, not looking entirely reassured. Nya can’t blame him — they’re trusting their only normal car into the hands of Kai and Lloyd, the odds aren’t exactly great.

Zane shifts, making to stand. “Perhaps I should check on—“

The heavy sound of a dragon landing on the deck echoes from the ceiling, and Nya gives a tiny sigh of relief as twin footsteps echo across the deck, heading down for the cabin. Both her and Zane glance at the door as it swings open — and blink. Kai and Lloyd look fairly cheerful, which probably has something to do with the three large boxes from the Great Ninjago Cookie Factory Lloyd’s balancing in his arms, and the half-eaten slice he’s got stuffed in his mouth.

“How’d driving go?” Nya asks, eyeing the boxes shrewdly. She’s already debating how difficult it’s going to be to wrestle those from Lloyd before he makes himself sick, chances slim to none.

“It went okay,” Kai shrugs, hanging up his jacket. “Lloyd knows the gear shifts now.”

“Yeah,” Lloyd says, through a mouthful of cookie. “The PRDNL.”

“Oh,” Zane says, staring at them. “That’s good. Did you bring the keys back?”

“Yup,” Kai says, tossing Zane the key ring. Nya relaxes, exchanging relieved glances with Zane. Ah well, she sighs to herself. Its not that she’s unhappy to be wrong about her brothers’ capability, but she’d really thought they might end up—

“By the way, the car’s in downtown Ninjago,” Kai says quickly, placing his hands on Lloyd’s back and shoving. “It mightbealittlewrecked too but we gotta go, training awaits, go Lloyd go—“

Before Nya can blink, Kai’s shoved Lloyd down the hall, the two sprinting away as Lloyd cackles. Zane gives a tiny, quiet sigh of utter despair.

Horrible as she feels, because poor Zane and his dejected expression, he doesn’t deserve this…but Nya can’t help the tiny smile of satisfaction that spreads across her face. Ha. Cole’s losing twenty bucks to her after all.

[kellykadesperate]

the case of you and me

There’s a ringing in his ears and he’s pretty sure it’s because Jimmy is humming next to him for no reason at all as they wait. 

“You could stop that you know.” Robert snaps, hisses, generally just acts more annoyed than he is and Jimmy gulps hard and waves a hand out. 

No one, literally no one would think that Jimmy was Robert’s senior, because he acts like one of his kids whenever they’ve actually got to do their job. Robert genuinely likes all this, the stake outs, the trying to catch the pricks whilst they’re the most vulnerable but it requires a lot of waiting around and Jimmy is the worst partner to have.

“Sorry.” Jimmy’s always sorry, Jimmy reminds Robert of Lennie from Of Mice And Men but he’s probably never heard of it so there’s practically no point telling him is there? “My back’s just easing up.” 

Robert rolls his eyes. “I told them, I should have done this on my own.”

Jimmy just frowns. “Well that’s -“

“Not allowed.” Robert’s no idiot, he knows that it’s not allowed because he might be a good fucking officer but he’s below Jimmy and they all go out in pairs anyways.

Robert lets out a sigh, decides to focus back on the house party going on right ahead of him and work out how long they’ll all get. That’s when the door bursts open and some bloke comes out, he’s smoking a cigarette, wrapping his arms around him a little against the cold and he’s wearing this oversized hoodie for no reason. He makes Robert sit up.

He’s intrigued, something pours over him and he elbows Jimmy. 

“Come on.” He pulls him up, and Jimmy decides to act like an actual police officer as he gets out of the car and calls for back up.

Within minutes the bloke is surrounded and he drops his cigarette to the ground whilst the others pour out of the drug den with their hands up.

Robert observes the boys moving in, shields and everything, and then he looks back the boy who’s wearing this weird wide eyed expression like he doesn’t know what he’s been up to.

“Hands up.” Robert clears his throat, and the bloke looks annoyed.

“Hang on.” The man raises his hand instead of pushing them out in front of him. “Listen, I’m not under arrest -“

“Oh, do you decide that now?”

The bloke keeps shifting about like he’s nervous and Robert’s used to this, but instead of ignoring it, he leans in.

“Now, hands out front.” Robert says, clicks his neck just a little as he speaks and the boy pulls his hoodie up, zips it and Robert sees that he’s wearing a navy jumper underneath. He could almost pass off as some hippie musician if it wasn’t for all the black.

Robert waits as the boy looks around and sees all the others get taken away. They all look like a bunch of sad saps and this one stands out as clearly in better shape.

Maybe he’s not hooked yet.

“Listen, I’m a support worker.” The guy holds his hands up, frowns as a girl throws him a sorry look. “I was just about to call you.”

And oh, if Robert had a pound.

“Of course.” Robert says, pulls the boy towards him a little and clamps his hands together just before the hand cuffs go on.

“I’m being serious.” He says, eyes wide, this stupid blue colour and Robert looks away. “I was outside to -“

“Call us?” Robert says, and there’s a mockery in his tone that won’t budge. “Like you said, Mr?”

The boy looks to the side and sighs before mumbling, “Dingle.”

He might as well have a sign attached to his chest reading ‘I’m up to no good’ then, it makes Robert drag him towards the car, read out his rights as if he has any and then he’s being wedged into the car and told to mind his head.

It’s a job well done really.

••

So the thing is, Robert is almost on cloud nine for a whole shift and then the boy - he’s learnt that his name is Aaron, he looks like one as well but that doesn’t matter - is recognised by another office.

DC Windsor of all people, apparently he’s from her village, apparently she’s dating Aaron’s cousin.

Apparently he is a support worker.

And he’s no longer smug about it either, he’s all big smile and raised eyebrow. “Does that mean you take these off me then?” He says, fakes how inept he is and Robert could swing for him. 

Instead his cheeks are bright red, his eyes flicker, and he gulps hard. “So you’re a support worker?”

They’re standing right near the desk and Donna suggests they move into a room so that Robert can shout at him alone.

So they do, and Robert won’t be letting this go. Aaron’s face is far too smug now, and Robert is far too stubborn.

“Yeah.” Aaron nods. “I have been for a few years now.” He leans back, folds his arms now that the handcuffs are gone. “I’m surprised you don’t recognise me.”

That throws Robert off guard. He bristles and frowns, shoves a hand in his pocket. “I don’t -“

“You’re probably too busy arresting people to notice that they need help, not a cell.” Aaron’s a cocky little shit and Robert should have expected nothing less from a Dingle. 

Robert clears his throat, and then he remembers seeing him a few weeks ago, green jumper with the sleeves down when they should have been pulled right up considering the mini heat wave they were having at the time. 

“As lovely as this has been, maybe we should get back to the matter at question.” Robert clears his throat and sits up. “Me and my college saw you in a known drug house associating with -“

“Not associating. Advising.” Aaron pulls this face and it brings out his stupid eyes. “I was trying to convince them to hand themselves in, and then you all just *stormed in.”

Robert’s eyes flicker. “Just doing my job.” He shrugs, and Aaron smiles.

“Yeah. I was just doing mine.” He has the chance to fire back, and he doesn’t fucking miss and Robert’s left squinting at him. 

“So, I think that calls ground for a wrongful arrest, officer Sugden.” He even knows Robert’s name and it makes the older man frown at him, and then he’s scowling.

“Wrongful arrest?” Robert scoffs, laughs him out, big wide smile and creases bear his eyes. “Is that right?”

Aaron leans up so that he has his arms on the table, looking right at Robert and he’s got some fucking nerve. “Yeah, I think so.” He closes his eyes for a second and hen smiles. 

Just as he goes to say more, Lawrence comes in just to make Robert feel even more like a twat.

“I hear you’ve gone and arrested a support worker.” His voice is low and clearly pissed off and Robert knows better than to ignore him.

“If I had more information, I clearly wouldn’t have Sir.” 

“More information? I told you that I was a support worker, you *chose not to believe me.”

There’s silence until Robert sighs. “Yeah, one who hangs around with crack heads in the dead of night.”

“Sugden.” It’s Lawrence, it’s him trying to be stern and Robert clears his throat against it. “Sorry for wasting your time, you’re free to go -“

“Aaron.” Aaron says, smary as anything, and Robert watches him as he saunters off.

••

If that wasn’t bad enough, Robert has to welcome the news that the house full of druggies hasn’t found one of the girls the team were after.

Holly Barton.

She’s attractive, in the picture he has of her pinned to the wall. He wonders if she still looks like that.

“We should speak to Aaron.” Jimmy says, ham sandwich waving about in his hand as he speaks and Robert rolls his eyes. 

He’d rather have pins in his eyes than he belittled by the bloke again for absolutely no reason.

“Yeah. Fine.” Robert says, puts the case above himself like he’s always supposed to do. “Get his address from filing downstairs.”

Jimmy looks all awkward and it suits him down to a T. “I don’t think that’ll be possible.”

“Why?” Robert says, the coffee in his hand sweats a little and he puts it down. “It’s all above board. Leyla fancies me, she’ll get it in no time.”

Jimmy scratches his head. “For me yeah but - you haven’t heard then?”

And what he hasn’t heard, is the fact that Aaron’s planing on reporting him for his unlawful arrest and it’s a joke.

“Why would I do that?” Robert says, “Arrest somebody that doesn’t need arresting?”

Lawrence removed his glasses and stands. “I’m not sure myself, but I can’t ignore the fact that he has the right to make a complaint and I have the right to enforce it.”

“And he has? Made a complaint?” Robert frowns, and Aaron’s a dick who needs to get his own life instead of being a flipping twat.

“Not yet, no.” Lawrence sighs hard. “But Donna says he’s not happy.”

“I was doing my job. He was in the way.”

“In the way or not, perhaps you pushed too many buttons.” Lawrence reasons, sighs hard and rubs at his eyes. “Robert, we’ve got a case on. A big one. You don’t have time to be -“

“Exactly.” Robert decides to take it the way he wants to. “Let him complain if he wants. I’ve got a missing girl to find.” 

••

He spots him, granted he’s comforting one of the lads that they released on a caution and seems fairly too busy to have a conversation, but that doesn’t stop Robert. Of course it bloody doesn’t.

“Oi.” He says, frowns at Aaron until he’s looking up at him and scowling. “A word.” He says, manoeuvres around the station desk and starts walking outside. 

“I’ll be one second.” Aaron says, voice all soft and stupidly kind as he pats the lad’s knee and follows Robert outside. “What do you -“

“I hear you’re complaining about me arresting you.” Robert says, and Aaron scratches his eyebrow. 

“Where did you -“

“Doesn’t matter.” Robert shrugs. “So you are?” Aaron stays quiet and Robert scoffs. “You’re wasting your time.”

“I think I’m wasting my time now.” Aaron pushes past Robert, and he’s all stripped top and curly hair and Robert hates it. 

••

They’ve reached yet another dead end and Robert is frustrated by the time Lawrence calls him into his office looking pissed off.

Robert hasn’t ever seen him look pleased and he’s worked here for nearly five whole years. It’s quite the joke really and if he actually liked him, Robert would try to joke about it but there’s no point.

Lawrence is passed it and jealous of Robert and he always has been. 

“I think you’ll be pleased to know that Aaron’s gone ahead and issued a complaint.” Lawrence grumbles and Robert’s face drops. 

“But I -“

“I saw you, goading him even further. He wants an apology, then he’ll drop it.”

And of course a guy like Aaron will want an apology over this. It gets Robert raging, pacing around the place until Lawrence stops him.

“You know how to stop this, just say you’re sorry and he’ll drop it.”

But Robert decides to leave the office instead, get back on his computer and start looking for this Holly like Aaron doesn’t even exist.

He gets nowhere fast, and he hates the fact that he has to look at the notes Jimmy has taken from Aaron the other day. They’re scrawny, ridiculous and apparently Aaron knows her but doesn’t know where she’s been for a while.

Quite clearly, his support doesn’t get them very fucking far.

••

A week goes by and Robert meets Holly’s mother, she’s a Scottish lady with bite that has clearly been sodden because of her daughter’s disappearance.

“I just want her back, she was doing so well and then -“

“And then what?” Robert leans closer, eyes wide as she sniffs. “Look, we want to help find Holly. But we need your help to do so.”

Moira shuffles a little. “Simon.” She says, abruptly, like she can’t help herself and Robert nods. “She was doing fine with Aaron’s help, but I heard her on the phone to him, he’s mixed up in something and now she’s gone and -“

“You think Simon might be behind her disappearance?”

Moira sighs. “He’s gone missing too.” 

And oh,

The plot is thickening.

••

The coffee machine isn’t working so Robert’s already on edge by the time he sees Leyla stalking towards him with a smile on her face.

“Aaron’s decided not to make a complaint.” She’s got her hand on her hip, “He’s had me going up and down and up and -“

Robert frowns slightly. “What do you mean?”

Leyla rolls her eyes. “He told me to pass the message on to White. So I thought I’d let you know first, you don’t need to thank me or anything.”

He does, eventually. But he’s just too perplexed to even get anything out. “Does he like playing mind games?”

And apparently Leyla knows him as well, he’s a good lad, he’s a mate of her boyfriend’s - the dozy Pete - and Robert should be grateful.

“Grateful?” Robert chokes out. “I -“

“Just get back to your case and stop being so irritating.” She waves her hands in front of Robert’s and he rolls his eyes all the way back to his desk.

••

The thing is, he can’t let it go. He finds Aaron’s support group which he runs every Wednesday in some office building and he bursts right in.

“Let me just deal with this one and then I’ll be right back.” He looks fucked off, standing there in some black jumper and jeans and a scowl on his face as some young kid looks up as if to ask what Aaron’s going to do about the weird bloke standing by the door.

Robert makes sure to move away from the door Aaron comes thundering towards.

“What the hell is your -“ Aaron yanks an arm out, looks like he’d throttle Robert if they weren’t in public. 

“Why did you drop the complaint?” 

Aaron’s body freezes and then he shrugs. “I heard you were stressed about your case and Holly’s a mate.” He blinks slowly, “Didn’t want you being distracted or whatever.”

So Aaron’s just soft. 

“Holly’s a mate? I thought she was just -“

“We grew up together.” 

Robert nods his head, and Aaron goes to leave. The subject should be dropped but Robert doesn’t let it be.

“Well I don’t want your pity.” Robert throws it out, and yeah he’s spoiling for a fight. He must be. 

Aaron does that scowling thing again. “Pity? I was helpin’ you -“

“Who said I needed your help?” Robert asks, and naturally Aaron tells him to do one. “Not until you’ve explained properly this whole U-turn.”

“I just have.”

“Well try again. Have a drink with me and explain yourself properly.”

And that sort of just comes it, it keeps rolling and rolling until Robert realises what the fuck he’s just said and he can’t stop it.

Aaron’s eyes just flicker. “What?” He scoffs, and Robert would expect a slap if he didn’t already know that Aaron was gay thanks to some light Instagram stalking.

“Are you deaf? I said - I said - do you want to have a drink with me?”

He decides to go with it.

And Aaron is almost unreadable for a second, the type who somehow looks like he could be a druggie and a support worker at the same time. He gulps hard, and then he scratches his eyebrow.

“You don’t have to say yeah, but you can talk and -“

“Yeah.” Aaron snaps. “Fine, yeah.” He shrugs out like he’s doing Robert a favour, and then his eyes flicker again. 

“Yeah?”

Aaron gulps hard, Robert can see it. “I just said that didn’t I?” 

And yeah, he just said that.

••

Aaron’s made effort, a little effort because he’s wearing a green jumper with a clear pattern and a pair of dark jeans.

And Robert learns to chill the fuck out.

“So, you really wanted to invite me out to get me to talk more?” Aaron’s got his hand wrapped around a pint and this bar they are in is too *cosy for Robert to try and take it all back. 

Robert rolls his eyes. “What do you think?”

And the thing is, Robert doesn’t really know what he thinks himself. He knows that Aaron’s fit, and that he’s annoying, and that his brain thought after his mouth did when he asked him out for a flipping drink.

“I *think, you’re probably trying to get some information out of me, about Holly.” Aaron leans back, and for the first time Robert sees him look almost insecure as he rubs at his glass. “Which you didn’t need to do. I’ve already spoken to DC King about what I know.” 

Robert frowns, and then he goes and leans forward. “I wish I was that clever.” He hates that Aaron makes him feel stupidly nervous for fuck all reason. “Sort of just looked at your face and wanted to take you out for a drink.”

Aaron tells him to piss off and then he gulps hard. “Me?” He says, and he’s full of surprises, he seems genuinely shocked by it and Robert calls him an idiot. “But you were a -“

“Dick?” Robert arches an eyebrow, he gets it and Aaron bites his lip for some reason Robert wants to find out about. “It’s sort of what I do.” He says heavily, he ignores the part about liking someone. 

“So I should be flattered?”

And yeah, he should be. Robert tells him as much, listens to the way Aaron speaks openly and it’s another thing Robert didn’t expect. 

He didn’t expect to actually be sat here across from him like this either but he is. And he keeps rolling with it.

“You’re full of yourself.” Aaron shakes his head and Robert can see the creases near his eyes and it makes his stomach flutter stupidly.

“Maybe.” Robert says. “But I do get to drive cars around at stupid speeds saving civilians.” He arches an eyebrow and looks all pleased with himself until Aaron’s pulling a face.

“Yeah, you’re a right hero, going around arresting random -“

“Oi.” Robert has a drink to hand, threatens to pour it over Aaron playfully and the younger man holds at his wrist. 

It feels like he’s a kid, with a crush, and he hates himself. 

“That was a mistake.” Robert says, “I didn’t know you were a support worker.”

Aaron pulls his hand away from Robert’s wrist slowly and shrugs. “Being a Dingle sort of gives you a solid idea.” He has a smile on his face still, like he doesn’t really take offence at everything. 

“It shouldn’t have.” And Aaron looks all pleased with himself. “What?” Robert asks, and Aaron smiles.

“I think you just apologised.” 

And Robert dips his head before suppressing a laugh, Aaron pushes at his shoulder and he lets it out.

“You’re a twat. And you heard wrong.” Robert decides, and Aaron’s eyes almost roam him, shyly, soft. 

“Yeah? Did I hear you asking me on a date wrong too?” Aaron shuffles forward on the table and then turns red as Robert looks blankly at him.

Robert quickly decides that Aaron is bloody impossible and he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say until he licks his lips and tilts his head. “I never said it was a date.”

“Right.” Aaron says, his eyes don’t leave Robert’s and the older man decides can feel himself leaning closer towards him before he hears the sound of heels and Leyla’s approaching the bar with Harriet and Doug and he wants the ground to swallow him up.

“You want to get out of here?” Robert asks and Aaron,

He actually nods.

••

There’s clearly something there, it’s why Robert suggests going back to his without saying it at all and it sort of excites him.

Aaron’s not a talker though, he laughs breathlessly at a few things Robert ends up saying and then his phone is ringing in his hand.

“Yeah, sure I’ll - I’ll get it now.” Aaron tuts, pulls a hand over his face and sighs. “I’m sorry - I have to get something from the community centre. Is it -“

“Oh you’re blowing me off?” There’s something soft in Robert’s voice and it makes Aaron look up at him with a half smile on his face.

“No, just a detour.” He’s a little shy and Robert is a little enamoured by it all in this strange way. “Maybe we can get to that part later though.” He says, all walking backwards, facing Robert as he speaks and making him blush like mad.

“You’re something.” Robert says, and he feels lighter than he has done for a while.

••

Aaron’s a loser who has keys to the community centre twenty-four seven because he’s got that sort of responsibility despite him being a Dingle. 

“I’ll be one second.” Aaron’s all softly spoken, the night air is littered with stars but Robert follows him inside just because.

It’s a bad idea though considering what fucking happens. Aaron’s looking for some file one second, and the next thing, Aaron’s opening this draw and everything seems to just explode around them.

Robert moves without thinking, hurls himself towards Aaron and brings them down towards the floor as the alarms begin to ring.

Aaron turns to face Robert in the wreckage, has a hand pressed towards the older man’s chest and he shakes slightly as Robert keeps a hand against his waist.

“I’ve got ya.” Robert presses further around Aaron, listens out for the sound of sirens approaching.

••

The centre was targeted and no one knows why. Or that’s what Aaron says. He’s clearly shaken, hands wrapped around a foil blanket and teeth chattering slightly as he frowns.

“You can talk to me.” Robert dips his head, brings Aaron’s face up towards his own and sees that the younger man is still shocked by what’s happening. He gets that, in the best way he can considering he’s been trained to be ready for the unexpected.

Aaron blows out a breath as he looks away from Robert. “Do ya think that was meant for me?” He says, he’s meaning the bomb, the one hidden away in a filing cabinet. The one that went off. 

Robert shakes his head. “No.” He says, but he doesn’t know for sure because he can’t. There’s no way of knowing that now is there? His heart drums slightly as Aaron explains who rang him, another support worker. “And she wanted you to get Holly’s file?”

Aaron nods and Robert gulps.

“But we have that.” Robert reminds him and Aaron curves into himself, looks even more shaken than he did before.

“Of course ya do.” He hits his head lightly. “I’ve - I’ve had too many.” He says, and blinks quickly. “I should have told her, I shouldn’t have -“

“That means it wasn’t for you, the bomb, whoever put that there was tryna stop us from gettin’ our hands on the file.” Robert says, he’s already in detective mode and nearly abandons Aaron because he doesn’t know any better.

“Can we talk about somethin’ else.” Aaron says, almost pleading and Robert rubs a hand over the cut on his head before nodding.

“Thought you’d want to see the back of me.” Robert says awkwardly. “You know, all the danger.”

Aaron blinks. “I don’t want to see the back of ya.”

And it’s probably the most romantic thing Aaron has said all night.

••

Robert takes him home like a gentleman and Aaron looks a little more than grateful as he smiles at him.

“Thanks.” He says, eyes soft and mouth slightly parted as he looks across at Robert’s lips. Robert raises a hand and it travels through his hair before he drops it towards his side awkwardly.

“You don’t have to thank me.” Robert says and Aaron looks up at him. “Although it was probably the worst first date I’ve ever had.”

“So it was a date?” Aaron dares, eyes flickering and eyebrow wriggling and this look on his face that makes Robert want to snog him. 

He doesn’t. He resists because Aaron’s had a proper fright and his throat is fucked because of the smoke. It doesn’t stop him lingering a little though until his mouth forms a smile and becomes larger.

“I’ll see you around.” Robert half promises, watches how soft Aaron looks in the moonlight.

••

The whole nearly dying because of a planted bomb happening on their first date is hard to forget isn’t it? 

Because now Aaron is involved and Robert is round his house with Holly’s file, raking through anything of importance which is harder than he thought. His head aches and he’s only grateful that Aaron was cool about him being here, using his place instead of his own for a change of scenery or whatever he wants to call this.

Aaron and him aren’t anything. That much has sort of been decided since everything heated up, physically — not metaphorically. They haven’t even kissed but Robert is plonked on his sofa at half ten at night and there’s still something there.

Robert wants to chase it.

“And you say you can’t find Simon either?” Aaron unscrews a bottle of beer and passes it over his lips as Robert pulls himself together.

“No. But this has his address.” Robert points down at it. “You remember writing that?”

Aaron nods slowly. “Holly wanted him down as her person.” Robert wriggles his eyebrow and Aaron explains. “If anything happened, and she didn’t want her mum finding out.”

Robert nods slowly. “So they were close?”

Aaron pulls a face. “Not like that, but yeah.” He says. “He was always too dodgy for her though. You could tell.” 

Robert nods his head again and gulps. “You think he’s taken her?”

Aaron turns cold from it and Robert pulls a hand into his. “Hey, I didn’t mean to -“

Aaron breaks from whatever he was thinking and stares down at their hands pulling together. He turns bright red and Robert breathes in.

“I’m just really glad you’re helping me, with the case.” Robert says. “Whatever you can give me would be -“

And Aaron gives him a kiss.

A proper one, proper pushes Robert down against the sofa and making him a little breathless and holding him close until Robert pulls away steadily.

“I didn’t expect that.”

Aaron gulps, looks unsure for a second and then Robert is swooping back in and dragging Aaron up towards his bedroom.

Because yes, they deserve to have some fun.

••

They have fun a couple of times until Robert is too exhausted too move and Aaron pulls across Robert to kiss at his nipple and make him fold a little.

“That wasn’t a mistake right?” Robert says, holding his chest tightly and Aaron slaps his hand away.

“Not a mistake.” He says, and they keep trying to get their breathes back as Robert stares down at Aaron. “What?” 

“You’re pretty amazing.”

“Fuck off.” Aaron replies, which for him is natural. He’s bright red suddenly and disappears under Robert’s arm.

“What? You got me into bed. Finally.” Robert eyes him slowly, cheeks almost puffing and Aaron rolls his eyes.

“Yeah yeah, only took me two years.” It slips and so does his face and Aaron Dingle has just admitted to having a crush on Robert for two years. There. Robert can die happy now he’s in his bed.

Instead, he kisses Aaron and leaves him breathless and they talk like they’re proper lovers or something. They talk about something other than the case and Robert’s work. They talk about Aaron being more than just this Good Samaritan and Robert feels himself falling fast.

“It’s not about being the hero.” Aaron half shrugs and Robert notices how thick his eyelashes are as he stares up at him. “It’s about helpin’ people who need it. I’ve been there, I’ve needed someone -“

If Robert wanted to be the regular arsehole he is, he’d say something like ‘havent we all’ but he’s all soft and tired now in the best way possible so he lets Aaron speak.

“I had someone, Paddy.” Robert’s heard of him from Donna, he’s her boyfriend’s best mate and yeah it’s a small world indeed. “He helped me get back on track and I want to do the same.” He says, throat closed. “I was helping Holly but -“

“Hey.” Robert says, voice heavy and everywhere and just enough to make Aaron’s eyes close like he’s listening to him. “We’ll find her, and she’ll be okay.” He says now, a hand slowly moving across Aaron’s bare chest. He sees the scars and slams them in. 

Aaron’s got a story. Robert actually wants to have the pleasure of hearing it someday.

“Yeah. I’ll make sure of it.”

And Robert doesn’t like the sound of that.

••

Aaron’s a proper softie.

The sort who naturally turns to goo when someone matters to him and that’s how Robert feels now. He feels like he matters to Aaron. 

It makes him feel good.

••

Robert learns the hard way that Aaron’s a good mate, the sort who would do the whole risking their life for their mate thing and it fucking irritates the life out of him.

They’re back at the estate where Simon lives and they’re trying to ask questions, Jimmy’s got half a Cesar salad down his front whilst Robert watches out to see if anyone passes by Simon’s door and that’s when he sees Aaron.

He’s doing the exact same thing, waiting around, only he’s got a trackie on and he blends right in to the crowd. He looks fit as fuck but that’s not important.

Robert doesn’t want to cause a scene but he causes one. He makes Jimmy pop out of the car and ask questions whilst he drags Aaron into the car and shouts at him.

“You can’t just go around being a detective!” He says, like it’s obvious, like Aaron should know better. 

Only Aaron doesn’t seem fazed by his words, he looks determined. “I’m just askin’ questions Robert.” He sounds like he’s rehearsed this but he goes all red in the face as Robert turns to face him directly. “I’m not doing no harm.”

That sets Robert on edge. “Yeah now you’re not. But things could go south very quickly if they think you’re a copper.” He snaps. “Trust me, I know you’re tryna mean well but -“

“She could be dead!” Aaron says suddenly. “Or hurt. Or needing a fix.” He says, it pulsates through him and Robert can see it. He sees the way he frowns. “I have to find her.”

“Aaron that’s my job okay?” Robert says louder this time, booming voice and everything and it makes Aaron shake slightly, maybe because he doesn’t want Robert in danger himself. He pulls a hand across towards Robert’s, squeezes for a second and Robert blows out a breath like he needed to be held for a second, like he’s thankful. “Promise me you won’t go snooping again.” 

Aaron promises, barely, just about. 

••

“And yeah, there’s that too.” Jimmy says, slams an envelope down on the table and it’s in a sealed plastic bag. It’s evidence or something, it makes Robert feel slightly sick. “A warning.”

The warning is right in front of his face, big black marker warning the police and all the grasses to stop trying to find two stupid druggies. 

Robert’s cheeks turn puffy, face red and eyes wide and he can’t get passed the severity of it all until Jimmy’s trying to put it back in the wallet neatly and asking him what he thinks.

What he does think is that this is bigger than what he realised, it travels through him and makes all this nervousness rise until he’s thinking about how stupid Aaron can be about stuff like this. It’s probably going to make him more determined than anything else and Robert tries his best to chill out as Jimmy stares down at him.

“It’s normal isn’t it?” He blows it off because he’s a twat, and Jimmy walks off to get another cream slice or something whilst Robert hangs his head in his hands and breathes deeply.

Hands falling across his neck make him jump up a little and he only relaxes when he sees Aaron standing there. He’s got his green lanyard on, mug in hand and he settles it against Robert’s desk. 

“You alright?” Aaron asks, like properly asks, not just trying to be polite. He holds this look, and Robert watches him before more concerned as he sits slowly on Robert’s desk. “Rob?” He says, slow and hesitant and Robert looks up at him almost frantically.

He wants to tell him, he wants to scream at him to stay away, that it’s dangerous, but instead he half smiles and nod his head.

“‘Course I am.” He lies, and there’s a shadow of his hand against Aaron’s waist which disappears as soon as it touches. 

••

Aaron’s promised hasn’t he? Well he breaks the promise a few days later, Robert’s in his bed and they’ve just had a pretty banging night tonight when Robert’s phone goes and he’s got to go and chase a lead.

“Is it about Holly?” Aaron asks, and it is, Robert’s silence gives it away enough for Aaron to worry. “Robert -“

“I’ll be back when I can okay?” He kisses Aaron’s cheek like they’re boyfriends or something, like they’ve had that chat and he leaves Aaron alone until he sees him at the station an hour later.

He’s eavesdropping on a conversation between Donna and some other officer, they’re discussing the case, the fact that the McFarlens could have something to do with it. He sees Aaron look fucked off, scared shitless and he drags him into a room.

“What are you doing here?” Robert asks, it’s a question aimed directly at Aaron’s chest as he points and loses his mind. 

Aaron mouths off though.

“I’m tryna help. I need to find answers, and I know the Mc-“

“Don’t even think about it.” Robert snaps, harsh and with bite and it doesn’t matter that Aaron has history with them; they’re dangerous bastards who shouldn’t be approached and he doesn’t want Aaron getting involved in it. Simple as.

“Why can’t you let me help ya?” Aaron says, like it isn’t obvious, like this thing between them isn’t getting deeper by the second. 

Robert squints at Aaron like he’s daft. Well he is. He’s really daft. 

���Because you could get hurt.” Robert lays it out on the table, pulls himself towards the wall and sighs. “So stop.”

“I can’t.”

“Well you have to.” Robert says. “Or you’ll end up missing too.” He shrugs and watches as Aaron’s eyes flicker intensely, like he’s thinking about it himself. “Or dead. And I couldn’t -“

“This isn’t about you.” 

It’s heavy and correct and just enough to make Robert peel himself away from the wall and scowl at Aaron. 

“It isn’t about you either. So you can quit trying to be a fucking martyr okay?”

Aaron decides to leave instead.

••

He doesn’t call Aaron. He doesn’t call him for sex or just to talk or anything like that.

He focuses on the case until it all comes to a head and they’ve got their leads. They’ve got one of the McFarlens against the wall and they’ve uncovered a drug ring, something underlining and eerie enough to set Robert on edge.

“You tell us where these two are, and we’ll take it from there.” Robert places the pictures of Holly and Simon in front of the bloke, he’s grey looking, eyes way too big for his face. 

“Can’t.” He shrugs, like he’s got too much under his belt to be going around giving away information.

Only Robert’s fucking good at his job and he has him squealing within the hour.

Some abandoned hole of wreck in Beckham. 

Robert smirks as they get the team ready, he’s armed and protected and he only thinks of Aaron. He thinks of him and he rings because he’s a sap but he only gets his voicemail.

He decides to shut him off completely, focus on his job and not the support.

••

They end up storming the place and it doesn’t go to plan because when does it ever?

The prick failed to mention the fact that one of his goons were there waiting didn’t he? So they’ve walked into a lion’s den, and Robert can hardly breathe against the way he has to wave a gun out into the dark and wait until he hears anything back.

The swat team head in front of him, shout ‘armed police’ and try to search around the abandoned place. Robert feels scared for the first time in months, and he thinks of Aaron again.

He sort of really hates him.

He doesn’t get the chance to dwell on it though because he shines his torch straight ahead and sees Holly and Simon tied up like caged animals and they’re barely breathing.

“Over here!” He shouts, feels all this adrenaline in him as he realises that they’re going to be okay, that he’s saved the day, that Aaron’s going to be happy with him.

And that’s when this idiot appears out of nowhere and the force are on him within seconds, they tackle him to the ground as he battles to get his hands back on his stupid little gun and Robert bends down to look at him properly.

“Looks like you’ve lost mate.”

The guy wriggles with all his mite, looks ridiculously wild and then smiles. “Yeah? You’ve still got that nice little lad tryna be a hero to find in here thought haven’t ya?Good look getting -“

Aaron.

Robert’s eyes widen and he’s never felt like this before, his heart almost thumps straight down into his stomach and it won’t stop. He hears it badgering on and on and within seconds he’s running around the place like he’s crazy.

“Aaron?” He says, his torch is giving him a headache, making him see double and it all sparks in his mind over and over again. “Aaron, please, Aaron -“

He stumbles into what looks like a bathroom, and presses down hard on the door until it’s pushed open with just his shoulder and he falls into it. He feels everything turn heavy in his chest, things darken but he looks up and he sees Aaron. 

He sees him, latches on.

••

He’s got a minor head injury and Aaron’s got to stay in for the night because of his de-hydration and knock to the head.

Robert’s waiting outside, chewing down on his finger nails and waiting for any news about Simon. He got off worse, clearly fucked up enough by the pricks to make him unconscious.

“Hey.” He turns and sees Moira. She’s all emotional and sad and relieved all at the same time and Robert’s happy that Holly’s going to be okay. “I just wanted to say thanks. Again.”

She didn’t stop when they first told her the news, that Holly was alive and would be okay.

“You don’t have to.” Robert clears his throat in this professional way because he’s only actually done his job but Moira wipes tears from her eyes and smiles at him again. “Mrs Dingle -“

“Moira.” Moira says adamantly, sniffs a little. “You helped find my little girl okay? So -“ She produces a cup of tea from behind her back and Robert appreciates the gesture in this soft way. 

He smiles gratefully and watches her go as he tries to think of how easy it is to get caught up in shit. Holly and Simon were recovering drug abusers who took one wrong turn and ended up paying the price for it.

Holly owed Simon and Simon owned the McFarlens and clearly they didn’t fuck about. 

“We’re up for speaking with Ms Barton when you’re ready.” Jimmy’s there, his trusty not so cool sidekick who hasn’t been hurt at all in this process. Robert looks back towards Aaron’s window and sighs. 

“Give me a second.” He says nervously, and suddenly he feels the weight of what happened and the fact that Aaron could have easily died today.

He wouldn’t have liked that. Not one bit. 

Aaron’s laying on his side when Robert comes into the room, looks peacefully at sleep and Robert dares to pull a hand across the front of his hair, feels the curls in his hands and stokes. 

It makes Aaron stir, blink quickly and look up, gaze, like he’s soft or something.

“Hey.” Robert says, gulps hard and looks back at the door. “I can go if you want.” He says, his heart beating a little faster because he doesn’t want to go.

“Don’t.” Aaron hides his face for a second and then pulls himself up a little to look at Robert clearly. “Robert I -“

“I thought you were -“ Robert cuts himself off abruptly and holds his breath. “I was so scared.”

“Scared?”

“Yes scared you idiot.” Robert yells, and then starts playing with his hands and pulling one through his hair. “You’re an idiot.” He’s defeated against how he feels and Aaron’s the biggest idiot in the world, there’s just no other word for him.

“Yeah you said.” Aaron whispers, and then he plays with his hands on his sheets and Robert sees that he’s got a nasty cut on his head. “I was being an idiot I know.” He says. “I thought I could - could handle it.”

“Without the police involved.”

“Without you involved more like.” Aaron admits, sighs. “I don’t like *needing people.”

It’s the root of it finally and Robert sort of gets it. He doesn’t know the nitty gritty but he knows enough and he can understand it despite still being fucked off.

“I’m not people.” Robert says, adamant and strong about what he’s saying.

Aaron smiles for a second like he’s relishing in what Robert is saying and then his face returns to normal. Moody good looking scowl. 

Robert huffs. “You still shouldn’t have -“

“I didn’t think he’d tie me up and knock me out like that did I?” Even hours after being in danger Aaron still can be a sarky arsehole can’t he?

Robert sighs, decides to break through this invisible wall and hold Aaron’s hand. It’s got cuts on it, the rope scars are tight against his skin and Robert holds tighter.

“You can tell me anything.” He blurts out. “Rely on me for anything.” Robert shrugs his head. “I promise ya.”

Aaron’s eyes water slightly. “Promise me what?” 

Robert shuffles between his feet a little and he’s shit at this. “You know what.”

“Do I?” He does, he so fucking does.

“Yes.”

“I don’t.” Aaron closes his eyes. “I think I might have forgot.” He says, like he’s scared too, like it’s easy to blame the bang to the head for any awkward feelings.

“I’n not going anywhere.” Robert says softly. “I want to - to you know, make a go of this.”

He thinks back to seeing Aaron like that and it hurts. It hurts so much that he’s petrified into a state of giving in to how he feels.

“If you want.” Robert leans closer yet pulls away at the same time and Aaron pulls him back, presses his mouth closer towards Robert like he’s not the injured one and Robert smiles.

He smiles as Aaron kisses him hard, and then sweetly like he’s telling him something.

“Yeah?” Robert says, wants to hear the words, wants to be with Aaron when they lock the stupid bastards away and dismantle the whole family because of their stupid greed.

“Yeah. Of course yeah.” Aaron says, bright red and blue eyes and Robert almost instantly remembers that Aaron has been wanting this for two years. He feels alive with the feeling of Aaron smiling at him.

Robert leans away, nose touching Aaron’s and then he hears a tapping against the glass and Jimmy’s still fucking standing there. Aaron snorts against Robert’s chest and untangles their hands.

“Go.” Aaron says. “I ain’t going anywhere.” He promises softly, a soft smile and a promise of *more in his eyes as Robert heads towards the door. “You’re not going to report me though are ya?” He says, because he’s still cheeky and ridiculous and Robert gets to do all the remembering doesn’t he? 

First meetings and all.

“I’ll let you know.” He says, swings against the door and breathes out for the first time all day.

[namjoonchronicles]

be ok | nj

▶ author’s note: promotion week can be draining. I hope our leader is doing okay. he seemed tired and I know there’s nothing that could be done because this is in schedules. then again, Bighit granted 10 days off, so that’s something for Chuseok! /my dimply googly bear/

Namjoon didn’t want to make you wait any longer so he pucker up and shut his laptop down for the day.

If he stares at it awhile longer, half of the day will be gone and even if you would be entirely okay with that, Namjoon would be very disappointed with himself and he doesn’t like feeling that way. He saw you sitting at the entrance of his office, pouting and waiting, while clasping a take-away Starbucks in your little hands.

He paused a moment longer just to watch this beauty, planting the image of this beautiful lady in front of him, in his mind for whenever he is doubtful of your love. There’s no way that this girl isn’t in love with me, Namjoon blinked. His dimples were showing. “You look nice.” He greeted and you sprung up to your feet, tip toeing to give him a kiss on his dimples.

He had to lower himself so you could reach him and bit his lips right after your slid your hand down his arm, directing him out of the office’s building. “Where are we going today?” He asked you. Taking the driver seat, you hushed him and told him, that it was a surprise. “Is everything okay at work?” You asked, fastening your belt on.

Namjoon had his, clicked securely. He sighed and looked out the car window. Those eyes are far and unfocused. An apparent sign that he was making up an answer in his head, trying not to worry you about the current state. “I have a couple of track to take a look on. I’ve asked Yoongi for his opinion but he hasn’t called me back for the update… pretty sure he had heard them at least three times since then.” Namjoon shut his eyes, rubbihg the bridge of his nose, scrunching his face, tired.

“I know you haven’t been getting enough sleep. I also know you’ve been skipping meals… I don’t have to remind you about it, right? You’re not a child anymore.” You sang to him, gently advising him. Obviously, something is bothering him. And he’s not telling you why. Namjoon can be bothered by multiple things at once, so it could be difficult for him to speak it out.

He also had a pride the size of an elephant, stubbornly thinking that he would be able to solve many things on his own, and see the prospects of telling someone about his issues will make him look weak than he really is, so that’s a huge problem on Namjoon’s side. But then again, he is your boyfriend.

You should know his troubles. You have to. That’s why we’re in this relationship, no?

Namjoon turn his head to watch you drive, “You’ve gotten prettier.” Zooming into your nose, how your hair fall perfectly, without even trying. Even your nails looked perfect without a smear of a nail polish. He then continued to fawn over you in silence. “It should be illegal to even look as half as good as this,” Namjoon propped an elbow on the armrest, shooting heart eyes at you.

“Wow, you really need that sleep…” you commented, “We’re going shopping. I need you to choose me a good perfume. And maybe get me some new blouse. I’m bored with the ones I got at home.” The car swings right and you parked right beside a BMW. Namjoon got out of the car looking tired.

“I must be getting older. I get tired during a car ride.” He waited for you to link your arm with his and started walking, only when you did. “If it helps you sleep, I will drive it for you.” Being a good boyfriend, Namjoon rarely whine about aimless walks on the park–eventhough he secretly hates it. Just recently, you got him into bicycle riding in autumn; that he gotten to love the little strolls in the park.

Namjoon’s bright choice of colors are one of the reasons why you like to make him choose your blouses. He loves flowery prints, little details, and shape cuts that you entrusts him fully on choosing what to wear. Also, you wanted him to stay bright so this was the easiest way to know if he’s really doing okay.

It’s a very competitive industry he’s in and he often compares himself with lots of producers out there, which then tire himself up. Then he’ll lose sleep and appetite. And if you don’t come in to tell him what he was doing to himself, he would go straight to a path of destruction. Without even knowing. That’s why his boss called you, “Namjoon’s remedy.” Because literally, that’s what you are.

You have sixth sense on these peculiar behaviour. And its not too difficult to tell since Namjoon is such a bad pretender. “What about this one. It covers your thighs.” He suggested, a black long top with a hoodie. “…Edgy. I might pull it off,” you wriggled your brows at him, trying to fish out a giggle. It did.

Then you came with two different types of tops. “…These two. I can’t decide.” Namjoon perk up his eyes, as if your words intruded his deep thoughts. He forced out a dim smile and asked you what you were saying. “…I like these both. This one is really cute. And this other one, is too good to pass.” You repeated, not an inch of annoyance went to it, having to speak twice.

“Then we’ll get both. I’m paying.” He is already taking out his card and handing them to one of the shop assistant. “Namjoon…” you mewled. “What.” He dashed. You passed him a ‘really’-look and he was instantly defeated, so he shrugged sorrily, defending his actions, “I’m not buying it because I think you couldn’t afford it. I’m buying because I feel bad for not being a better boyfriend to you, and is always caught up at work and just a horrible human being at staying in contact…” he gazed down, avoiding your gaze.

It instantly made you want to protect him, from whatever problem he is facing that he is not telling you. He worries about you worrying about him and that’s why he always does this, being quiet until it consumes him–kind of thing. But what he didn’t know is that, the more he tries to hide, the more obvious it becomes.

“I am having self-doubts. Everyone is telling me I’m doing a good job, that I’m great at what I do, and now compliments starts to sound like lies. I really don’t know whom to trust anymore. Is everybody telling me things I want to hear or am I imagining things?” Namjoon said, over a coffee date that you had after the shopping. “…I don’t like this feeling of comfort, this feeling of achievements. I’m afraid that if I let it overcome me, I won’t be able to produce anymore. And that. Will lead to death of creativity…” He ran his fingers through his hair.

You stood up from your seat to his, and placed your arm around his waist, laying your head on his shoulder as you hear him speak. “…I honestly, don’t know what will happen if I can’t write songs anymore…” he expresses his true worries and that was enough for you. “Let’s worry about today. Let’s achieve things on day to day basis. And when the future comes, only then we will worry…” you rubbed his arms up and down, reassuring him.

“Things will be okay, and things will not be okay. Either way, that’s life. It’s not going to rain forever. Like seasons change, this will too. This doubt you have upon yourself, it will either bring you down or drive you up. And that’s for you to decide.” You gazed to his large pair of hand and laced them with your tiny ones.

“…I. Am so proud of you. I am so glad to see what you came to be. And I know that this person I’m in love with, this beautiful old soul I absolutely adore, will have their down days, and that’s okay, because Namjoon is human. My Kim Namjoon is human…”

First and foremost, Kim Namjoon is human. And it was that kind of assurance that Namjoon needed to hear and be reminded of. That his imperfections and flaws are seen and accepted. He had stripped his soul bare, for the world to see. And gladly, it was yours that it linked to.

Namjoon will work himself up, not to prove how skilled he was as a producer, but how flawed a human could be, and celebrate the emotion of being wanted and validated, through his songs and lyrics. And he owe it all,

To you.