#this just came to me bc he’s king of weird but cute confessions

[gojoest]

thinking about play fighting your childhood best friend gojo satoru, because he took your phone after you got a message from another boy. you tackle and wrestle and somehow end up on the bed with you straddled on top of him, attempting to clasp both of his wrists and retrieve your phone. that is, until you feel something hot and hard pressed against you.

you pause.

“oh—“, your mouth hangs open and your face burns hot after a few seconds of inactivity and silence on your end, and the realization finally hits — that thing is his thing. “oh!”, you gasp.

the phone falls off satoru’s hand and lands on the bed. his empty hand now covering his eyes, the other one on top of it.

“uh, huh”, a muffled sigh makes it past his lips, relief and embarrassment sort of mixed and soaked in his timbre. the friction caused by you sitting on it basically makes it hard for him to hide the pleasure it’s giving him, but he’s also caught off guard — he didn’t want you to find out this way, that you excite him as more than just friends. “you often forget that we are not kids anymore, and that i am a man”

silence.

you need to say something, anything. but the words don’t come to you. you turn your head to the side, embarrassed too, while you keep sitting there, on his lap. brilliant logic, you think as you look back to this moment later on.

“it must be just a physical reaction because i am—“

he cuts you off, “because you’re sitting on it?”

“don’t put it like that!”

“i didn’t put it anywhere, sadly”

you roll your eyes.

“block that guy’s number and don’t talk to him, ever”

“and why would i do that?”

“because this”, his hips go up and down once, his hard-on stabbing against you more prominently, “is not just a simple physical reaction — and it’s been taking you ages to notice”

he moves his hands away. his big blue eyes out in the open again, staring at you. “look at me”, he grabs you softly by the chin and turns your head to face him. his other hand cupping yours and guiding it to the left of his chest. where his heart is, where it beats — fast.

“what i’m trying to say is, aside from that thing down there — this is also your fault”

[wooahaes]

Ahh we all have that one professor who makes u go ??? The fuck ??? At least 5 times in 20 mins lol I get you

Also the nct thing was purely by accident lol aksnsksms I initially listened to boom by nct dream, thought I’d listen to a couple more songs, fell down the rabbit hole and now I actively Stan 20+ men 💀 yeah I did that to myself lol but fr nct has some weird shit but a LOT of bops like if you like slow ballad type of stuff I recommend from home and my everything but nct u or if u like smth cute Touch by NCT 127 is p well liked by most people I introduce that song to! And most of nct dreams older songs are p cute too! I feel like you’ve made a grave mistake letting me talk ab NCT because I could go on FOREVER aksnsksms also I totally get the mark + Haechan duo lol I have a particular fondness for mark because we share the same birthday lol plus he’s so cute I just wanna fucking SQUISH

I would LOVE to hear you talk about Shinee!! All of their music fuckin SLAPS I’ve been obsessed with Body Rhythm every since it came out and like I got into the fandom p late so I don’t know much but I think taemin is fucking hilarious like he is very much my pathetic lil meow meow

-Baby Teume

literally i love her but the way she runs her classes... headache inducing. im probably going to scrape past with a C unless she decides to drop our lowest grade (highly unlikely but very welcome)

... my confession is that i actually enjoy sticker lmao like ik its not great ig? but i can still vibe with it

i have made NO mistake asking u to talk abt nct!!! pls talk to me about nct whenever u feel like it lmao i love hearing abt other ppls groups and the stuff they get passionate about!! literally i love when ppl give me song recs even if i dont end up getting into them bc its a lil 'hey i thought u might enjoy this' and i think thats sweet <3

i learned that marks emojis are a tiger and a lion and im like omg... tiger... another tiger boy to add to my collection. AND lions too??? mark nct ill give u a kiss omg /j

omg... u will regret asking me abt shinee i love them SO much. im ignoring the fact taemin just showed up on my playlist (highly recommend all of the shinee members solo stuff!!! i can absolutely give recs for my fave from each member even tho minho has like two songs to him rn but theyre both good fdkhdshf)

i always say taemin is my bias (hes adorable AND funny like... king stop my expectations are too high-) but i think im truly ot5 because all of them are so important to me. they were the first kpop group i ever listened to forever ago (sherlock (clue + note) is a legend and i love her so much), and i think dropping off shortly after getting into them (which would have been around 2015 because it was the time view came out) and then picking them a little over a year ago was genuinely like... something that really helped me out of a shitty place + hurt because i had missed the news about jonghyun entirely. but even then, i think its made me appreciate him and everything he's done so, so much. i won't get sappy but i truly love jonghyun so much and i'm glad he's no longer hurting. it'll always piss me off when people reduce him down to his death and nothing else because he was such a good person.

moving on from that before i get too emotional... i genuinely just love shinee a lot. i watched one of the shinee world concerts (IV i think?) earlier this year and its amazing how talented they were and still are. shinee truly helped pave the way and inspired so many idols and i adore them. its also fun to just watch them interact, tbh. i don't genuinely ship anyone because i find that weird, but minkey as a (platonic) pair are my faves lmao they always bicker like an old married couple but you can tell that they do love each other and are genuinely close friends.

and jinki!!! onew my beloved!!! i love him so much. he has such a warm presence and GOD his vocals... i die every time... coincidentally love phobia just came up on my playlist lmao but still!! highly recommend listening to DICE if u haven't!! the entire album itself is good but the title track is soo good <3 i always feel like i forget he's the leader of shinee because they're all so close-knit, it feels like they're all on completely equal footing even if jinki is the one leading them.

i didnt rly get into my love for taemin but genuinely i adore him. he's so, so talented both vocally and dance-wise, i love to see the difference between his stage persona (typically his solo persona lmao taemin and his slutty slutty music... <3) when he's really just this very sweet catholic man who apparently only really interacts with his group mates and a few others outside of that. he's so funny and i honestly admire every live he did where he spoke english and messed up and accepted his mistakes? like. learning a language is hard enough, especially one as fucking weird as english, but he just seems to eager to try speaking english and accepts his mistakes. i think he definitely has a very good support network both in the people helping him learn english (job-wise) and in having someone like key there to correct him (and maybe rib him a little bit--but it's all out of love). also i still think its really funny he broke into keys place to leave him a birthday cake and then proceeded to steal one of his jackets. stole my heart at the same time smh

i will stop here bc i still have two questions left on my final but !!! i will absolutely give u shinee recs if you want!! shinee has SUCH a good discography with only a few songs that are... not good at all lmao. but every group puts out some bad songs sometimes, especially when they've been around for a long time! nothing wrong w that! + i'll probs throw in recs from each member's solo career because i genuinely love a lot of their solo stuff as well <3

[kiss4kazu]

Hi! could I request some headcanons for what kissing Ashe and Dimitri (Felix too if thats not too much if not its fine) would be like for the first time?

☆ first time kisses with ashe, dimitri, felix 

↳ ashe babie boy 

although ashe is really innocent and pure i think he’s easily one of the most romantic in blue lions and would really go above and beyond always for the person he loves. 

i know a lot of people probably see ashe as someone being too reluctant and nervous to actually ever make a move first but i think if he really liked someone, he’d be extremely obvious about it, blushing like crazy, a stuttering mess, etc and after enough pep talks from sylvain he’d finally make a move to ask u out on a date and it would be an absolute wreck.

would literally put together something so fckin cheesy n corny but in the most adorably ashe way that it makes you want to punch him from being so precious

like a cute picnic or something by a lake and he’d make cute little cakes with some help from annette and it would just be so pure. 

he’d rehearse how he’s going to confess in his head like a million times but when the moment actually comes it ends up just being a jumbled up mess filled with “ums” and he’d try to stick to the script him and sylvain came up with and get out a “y-you’re r-really… u-uh… p-pretty..” but then he’d fuck it all up by saying something weird n dorky like “a-and you s-smell really nice… w-wait that’s weird i’m sorry-” and you’d just hold back ur laughter, ur heart swelling with so so much affection for him. 

ofc he’d ask for permission to kiss you, cheeks crimson and his eyes looking up at yours like tht one starry eyed emoji. you’d give him a vocal response, since he rly needs that reassurance. no stutters just “of course ashe” and he’d smile so so big and then just swoop down totally uncoordinated. 

would probs miss your lips and have to readjust. 

kissing ashe for the first time would be … messy. he’s not experienced at all, and doesn’t know what to do with his hands and he’d honestly be a dead fish for a good few moments. but as you ease him more into the kiss, he’d loosen up a bit, tilt his head and just stop overthinking. his lips would be really warm and would taste so sweet from the cake and he’d smile so hard into the kiss that your teeth end up bumping into each other and you’d pull away laughing

ashe kisses are the best honestly the butterflies fireworks the whole shebang yknow. 

as he gets more confident he’d probably try out a few things he’s seen in books like slipping his tongue in and would be completely taken aback by just how nice it feels. would probably whine into the kiss, cradle your face in his hands, and once you guys pull apart for some air he’d just breathe heavily against your lips with the dopiest smile on his face :( <3 

he’d be rly slap happy after kissing you for the first time and would probably tackle u onto the picnic blanket laughing from happiness kissing your face everywhere and showering you in compliments, shoving his face into ur neck and just breathing in ur scent. 

he’s very clingy ok. 

↳ dimi !!

whew. ok so we’re gonna do academy phase dimi since feral dimi is uh… probs not sfw & violent skjdfjslkjfd  

academy phase dimi knows NOTHING about kissing n he has 0 experience so it takes him forever n a day to finally get the balls to kiss u and when he does … whew. 

i can imagine kissing dimi to be during like , a deep convo or something late at night, when he’s having trouble sleeping or something and ur just running ur fingers through his hair, listening to him as he vents and admiring the sound of his voice bc he’s always more talkative at the dead of night when he’s sleep deprived. 

he’d just look at u so so lovingly and it would be suffocating and ur just staring at his lips but u know ur probs way in over ur head bc uh he’s the future king of faerghus 

but then he’d ask for permission too like ashe tbh bc he’s just polite like tht and has too good mannerisms 

plus he cares a lot about your comfort and would never want to make u feel unsafe or uncomfy especially by his doing

and you would nod with quickness n he’d waste not a second to connect ur lips 

kissing dimi is like a trance tbh, type of kiss that feels like something in u is short-circuiting 

literally the type of kiss that makes ur knees buckle u know the ones. 

he’s a rly rly good kisser n it makes no sense bc he’s literally never kissed anyone before in his life n it kind of makes u mad bc why is he perfect 

a rly rly passionate kisser and he can be kind of rougher than he intends to bc he’s not good with fragile things 

clearly v dominant in the kiss, one hand with an iron grip on ur hip the other tangled up behind ur neck, gripping ur hair. after a while gets reluctant and starts to overthink things and pulls away apologizing for being too rough

you’d probs have to reassure him a million times tht its okay dimi ur not hurting me!! 

he’s rly touch starved tbh so he always tends to take pecks into full-blown makeout sessions or when he intends to just kiss ur forehead he ends up kissing ur cheeks too, ur jaw, down ur neck just riling himself up tbh and then he finally  looks up at u with his eyes all dark n ur just like … here we go

did i mention he groans a lot during kisses bc he does 

dimi’s other sides shining through when his emotions overwhelm him is just .. dimitri 101. 

he’s rough, seemingly an expert at this shit, his tongue shoving past your lips and completely taking u off guard. he’d literally kiss you so hard your head would spin and he’d do it all with a blush on his face bc he’s still a shy babie.  as soon as the moment is over he’s back to stuttering n being all awkward boyish prince. 

he’s also the type to shower u in compliments between kisses.

kisses lips “you’re so gorgeous” smooches neck “so amazing” kisses jaw “goddess i love you” 

im scream crying

↳ felix too bc WHY NOT ! i love him 

listen. 

this little fucker kisses the life out of people u heard it here first folks. 

he’s 100% a heat of the moment type of kisser. it could go two ways tbh. like if you got hurt or something on his behalf he’d scream at you with glossy eyes for a good 5 minutes and then just stare at you all >:( and then he’d just grab you and  kiss the fuck out of you.

probably the most passionate kisser out of the three, he kisses to the point where u can’t feel ur toes and stuff he’d just completely indulge without any fucks given bc he almost lost you and he’s not good with explaining his emotions so hopefully this helps you understand. 

the other way i can see a first kiss going down with felix is more.. vulnerable, despite his hard exterior. he is rough and mean but it’s not bc he’s genuinely a bad person he just has walls built up so high tht its impossible for anyone to rly climb over 

to get a kiss from lix, u definitely have to have climbed over tht wall of his, or just fly a wrecking ball through it n send it crumbling to the ground

you’re literally the only exception, the only person who can rly get through to him 

he’d probably turn to you for comfort a lot, when dimitri agitates him with memories of glenn or his dad says something that ticks him off and he wants to punch something he’d just go to you instead, knock on ur door and just waltz in like he owns the place, sitting down on ur bed and u would know he wants cuddles bc this is how felix communicates 

if he had to actually say “i want cuddles” out loud he’d probably shoot himself in the foot with an arrow so he’s glad u understand, u always understand him just by looking at him n it’s reassuring bc he’s never been good with words.

its kind of cringe to him that he likes being held but shocker he likes being held 

he also rly rly likes it when u play with his hair he’s like a cat he will literally start nuzzling into you, so warm and pliant to your touch

ok im getting distracted back to the kissing shit

felix would probably just be rly overwhelmed with emotions n he doesn’t rly know how to tell u “i like u” so he just says “im going to kiss you.” like a literal statement n then he does it n ur just like o-o bc wtf. 

if ur not responsive at first he’d just pull away after a while and wouldn’t meet eyes with u and be all blushy. 

would let out a tch like the little shit that he is, and u have to turn his face so he’s properly looking at u again and meeting eyes with u 

he looks so vulnerable and stupidly gorgeous so u kiss him this time so he knows the feeling is mutual and it’d take him a min to really gather whats happening but once he does he’d literally. suck. the. life. out. of. your. face. period. 

felix kisses r rough n messy n just completely self-indulgent and he groans shamelessly when u pull his hair tie out from his bun and tug at his hair yes i have a thing for felix’s hair leave me alone.

gives 0 fucks would literally shove his tongue down your throat pull you flush against him and he always calls sylvain insatiable but rly its this fucker who’s insatiable he is literally eating your face. 

you’d have to pull him away from you and he’d just pant so hard against your lips and look at you like he wants to devour you and its kind of overwhelming bc he’s fucking hot !!!!! 

would shove his face into ur neck and mumble out an “i like you”  and u would tease him n be like “what did you say i cant hear u?” and he’d elbow u in the ribs  and groan into ur neck and u would laugh n kiss his head, telling him u like him too

at tht he’d lift his head up, his hair falling over his amber eyes and u would just push the strands away from his face and kiss him softly one last time before going back 2 ur conversation about punching sylvain’s face or sumn

anyway i love felix thanks 4 coming to my ted talk. 

requests are open! <3

- vivi ★

[p2iimon]

okay heres the post about deltarune. spoilers. lol

the sprites are so good. susie and ralsei make such great faces

noelle gave susie chalk and was that bc i chose the hanging out alone in the closet option?? bc that wasnt in the stream

ralsei shows more skin in this one

susie and lancers high five lmaooo

anyone else notice that rudinn who calls it the [savename]town (i dont remember which name that one is. i think its the name you choose for yourself the one on the save? anyway)

the king like “well i wasnt really gonna throw him” like lancer definitely was just unaffected. like emotionally

kris’s castle bedroom makes me think of asriel,,,, like. the trophys on the shelf,,, and the stars? idk

did the original starwalker only come bc i talked to them in chapter one or does that happen for everyone

i TOTALLY called berdly everyone was like “yall think noelle isnt gonna be a main character? hm?” but like ignoring berdly. even with the soul theory its like “kris is cyan and ralsei is green and noelle is orange and susie is purple and lancer is blue and who knows with yellow its a mystery” it was always berdly

also i thought hed be. a little better. like he did not get that much better.

how much choice is there to join berdly. dont tell me im gonna check myslef

i always feel bad for hurting the characters bc im bad at video game but especially noelle blaming kris for the mouse thing. no i swear. they dont want to do this. well. not this obnoxiously at least.

being alone for the like. 5 minutes was terrible. theyre so lonely :(

noelle doesnt want to call kris her friend which is sad both if its bc she doesnt think theyre close enough or if its bc she doesnt like them that much

mettatons dress !

spamton was weird i liked him though. it looks like im missing something though. i was alone the one time i saw him,,,, so,,,,

so ralsei why did lancer turn into a statue but YOURE fine. weirdo. freak. evil liar.

i wish i made the duck i was like “im NOT gonna make the duck this time ive never seen anyone not make the duck” but it wouldve been better if i did

SUSIE. TAIL. the whole thing was cute though

i cant believe berdly is only into gamer lesbians. rip

this was about the point i realized,,, noelle hardly changed color and berdly DIDNT so ?????????? what

ralsei is like “you know that will horribly kill everyone right?? you fucking idiots?” NO WE DID NOT????? HUH???? this fucker

at this point i put, and i quote “kris is the knight and if i end up being right all of you owe me $50 ive thought there was some connection since day 1 bc !!! kris is a knight and why!! would there be kris the knight who is also a weird human and The Knight who makes the fountain and the fountains benifit kris so !!!” we will address this later

why is kris uncomfortable with seeing other humans :(

it does confirm monsters arent buried, its symbolic and probably religious considering the location, but that doesnt answer all the questions about blood and monsters and humans and souls and stuff.

it ISNT a good thing that asriel felt the need to confess his sins. but it is funny.

what ! happened ! in ! the ! bunker ! kris !

its good to see shyren :)

i said this on instagram before ch2 came out but like fuck no napstablook is not a cop you cant. no. undyne? i get why he chose undyne. asgore even. like bad move but i understand? but napstablook? that is a snail farmer

the grocery store is bigger than grillbys. hey sans w

also Fucking Are You Serious Sans I Have Been Waiting To See Papyrus For 3 Years And You Say Not Today For Fucking What

also asgore! in that whole scene! wow! please stop talking. fucking “onky donky”

maddy and mettaton and napstablook all live in that little house. and also maddy calls them blooky. and i dont WANT to wait for tomorrow to talk to mettaton again i want to talk NOWW tomorrow is in YEARS and costs MONEY

onionsan called them hyper-potato-mouse even though i chose kris and i know i chose kris bc i did it today

whatever happened in the bathroom there. “they do this sometimes” uh hey. why.

anyway all of you owe me $50 gn

[grapesodatozier]

Dreamboat

summary: Richie’s his pining mess self, and it only gets worse when he has sex dreams about Eddie every night for a week. Eddie asks him why he’s been avoiding him all week, love confessions and smut ensues~

tags/warnings: pining-typical angst and guilt in the beginning, but it’s all resolved by the end! also, this is top!eddie/bottom!richie bc i haven’t written that dynamic in forever, gotta balance the scales lol

this didn’t need to be 7k words, but it is lmao enjoy

(also, if you wanna be taken off or added to my taglist, lmk! i have one for reddie fics and one for all of my fics, so please specify which one you’d like to be added to. thanks!)

read on ao3 or below!

notsfw below the cut!

Richie could not believe this was happening a-fucking-gain. This was the fourth time this week that he’d woken up hard after a dream about Eddie. He ran his hands over his face and groaned, his skin burning from his face down his chest. Guilt sank low in his stomach as he shut off his alarm and stared up at the ceiling of his dorm room. 

Guilt, and a sizable helping of heartbreak.

It had felt so real. He could still feel dream-Eddie’s fingertips ghosting over his skin. He could feel his tongue teasing over Richie’s own, so soft and warm and the perfect balance of rough and smooth. He could feel Eddie grinding against him. He could picture so vividly Eddie dropping to his knees, a sweet smirk on his face as he—

No. Fuck, fuck, no. Richie breathed in sharply through his nose and scrunched his eyes shut, willing his aching boner to go down. The emotional come down helped, realizing he would never get to touch Eddie like that, would never get to know what he felt like, how he liked to be touched. He tried to ignore it, he really did, he’d been trying to get over it for years. But how was he supposed to get over someone like Eddie? Richie had never felt his heart flip like it did around Eddie. He’d realized one day in the seventh grade that Eddie’s laugh made him feel different than anyone else’s, warmer. He wanted to know that Eddie was okay all the time, and he selfishly wanted to be the one to make him happy. His heart sang every time Eddie chose to sit next to him. The first time Eddie rested his head on his shoulder Richie thought he was gonna vomit. But, like, in a good way. 

So yeah, being in love with Eddie was par for the course. It was a part of Richie as much as his freckles and knobby elbows. But these dreams… He’d had a few before, scattered here and there across the years, but he’d managed to black them out. One or two flukes was okay, right? He’d had a sex dream or two about Bill before. Hell, he’d had sex dreams about a cashier he saw once at a Burger King. It was fine. The mind was a weird thing.

But four in a week? That was different. It made him feel like a fucking creep; he made his own skin crawl. And they were so vivid. How could he look at Eddie now? How could he let Eddie touch him, not knowing what Richie had dreamt of those hands doing? 

He bit his lip as he thought about it, the most confusing mix of arousal and shame blooming in his chest. He only came back to his senses when he tasted copper on his tongue. He did his best to shove the thoughts aside as he swung his legs over the side of his bed, halfheartedly tossing his comforter back toward the top of his bed before deciding to smooth it down more neatly. He took another deep breath and ran his hand through his hair, trying to collect himself enough to pick out an outfit for the day. He just needed to locate a shirt, boxers, and pants. And socks. God, why did that feel difficult?

Showering didn’t help clear his mind. Cocoa puffs didn’t help. Not even his acting class could help; his teacher just had them lying on yoga mats that smelled like disinfectant and stale rubber doing breathing exercises for the first half of class, which did absolutely nothing to calm him down or take his mind off of the fact that it was Friday, which meant movie night in Bill and Mike’s room. Nights when Richie and Eddie “fought” over who got to sit on the giant Yogibo before settling into it together, nice and dizzyingly close. 

He managed to avoid sitting next to Eddie at lunch just by luck of the draw. But Eddie was still there laughing harder than anyone else at Richie’s jokes and trying to toss things into Richie’s cup without him noticing, and it still made Richie glow, he still pretended to not notice who was throwing things at him, playing along with Eddie’s innocent shrugs and smiles until he “finally” caught him, which in turn made Eddie burst into giggles that were so precious they made Richie want to cry. And then after lunch Eddie came up to Richie and touched him on the arm, making him jump like he’d touched a hot stove. 

“Jesus, you good?” Eddie asked with a confused smile.

“Yeah, must be the static electricity,” Richie said, fumbling over his words, “or the fluorescents.” 

Eddie gave him a look, but he was still smiling. “Okay, that was bad, even for you.” Richie gave a small laugh. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Do you wanna go to the Auburn to study? This stupid fucking poetry class is melting my brain, so I think you owe me a scone as compensation for making me sign up for it.”

Richie’s heart ached. There was nothing he wanted more than to fuck around with Eddie at one of the too-small tables at their favorite little coffee shop downtown. But then he was looking at Eddie’s lips and the guilt was rising in him again like bile. Or maybe it was actual bile. Richie clicked his tongue. “Sorry, you know I’d love to treat my little muffin to a scone, but I’ve got a paper to write and you know they turn the wifi off Friday to Sunday.” 

The disappointment on Eddie’s face made Richie’s chest ache. “Okay, well, I’ll see you tonight then.” 

“Wear those panties I like,” he winked, his mouth getting ahead of him as usual. God, Richie wanted to kick himself. And maybe puke. But Eddie left him with a smile and a playful shove, so Richie figured he wasn’t in too much trouble. 

Richie, Stan, and Patty had been tasked with getting the pizza that night, so the three of them showed up to Bill and Mike’s after everyone else. Richie’s heart did flips when he saw Eddie lying sprawled across the giant bean bag, just like he always did when he beat Richie to it. He blushed when Eddie met his eyes and beamed, leaping up and bounding over to him. He nearly choked on his tongue when Eddie draped himself over his arm, having to get up on his tiptoes to rest his chin on Richie’s shoulder. Richie instinctively crouched down a bit to accommodate him. 

“Did you get barbecue chicken?” Eddie asked, batting his eyes.

“I’m offended you would even have to ask,” Richie grinned as he opened the box. The others were scrambling around the boxes, trying to get slices of their choice, but Richie’s long arms gave him an advantage.

“Will you get me a slice?” Eddie asked.

“And let you get to the Yogibo first? I may be pretty but I’m not stupid.” Richie grinned as he lifted his plate far above Eddie’s head and spun around, finally able to breathe once he no longer had to worry about the electric feeling of Eddie leaning against him.

“You’re gonna regret that, Tozier,” Eddie huffed, but he could never hide his smile. 

“Ooh, last names,” Richie grinned as he plopped himself down on the beanbag, fully spread eagle. “I’m scared now.”

Eddie stuck his tongue out at him before ducking under Bill’s arm to get at the pizza he was going for. Richie really tried not to linger on how cute that was. 

However, it was becoming quickly apparent that Richie was not going to be able to avoid those thoughts, as well as his less savory ones. As soon as Eddie got his pizza, he was standing over Richie with one hand on his hip. Richie made sure to look at his face and not his thighs, which his movie night sleep shorts left on full display. Richie didn’t dare let himself look down, because right then he was wondering if he’d be able to see up Eddie’s shorts from this angle. God, he bet he could. “I was sitting there,” Eddie groused. 

Normally Richie would’ve replied with something crude, would’ve grabbed his crotch with an obnoxious wink and said, “I’ve got a seat all warmed up for you right here, baby.” But now his stomach twisted at that, and when Richie managed to stop himself from saying something he struggled to come up with something else. So all he could manage was a halfheartedly sarcastic, “Here?” 

He pointed to what he thought was the beanbag, but Eddie apparently had something else in mind. “Yeah,” he smiled before dropping himself into Richie’s lap with a grace and bounce that left Richie breathless. “Right here.” 

Eddie looked so smug, and he was on Richie’s lap, and Richie could feel the situation getting real bad for him real fast. So, setting the slices of pizza aside so as to not earn himself any disappointed looks or lectures from Bill and Mike about respecting and maintaining the cleanliness of their space, he grabbed Eddie by the waist, doing his best to ignore his own rushing blood and the amused look on Eddie’s face. “Alright, short stack, you ever try asking a guy to move over?” With Eddie lifted, Richie scooted over to one side of the bean bag, then plopped Eddie on the other. Richie couldn’t decipher the look Eddie was giving him, but it somehow was making him even hotter under the collar than Eddie sitting in his lap had. 

Richie thought he was safe when Eddie huffed and grabbed his pizza, but he barely had three seconds to breathe before Eddie was wriggling his way across the bean bag to press himself against Richie. “You’re taking up the whole thing,” he grumbled as he tucked himself against Richie. Richie could not have been closer to the edge of the bean bag, but he didn’t have the breath in his lungs to say that. Every time he breathed he could smell Eddie’s shampoo, clean and fresh and somewhat minty. Richie shovelled his pizza into his mouth so he wouldn’t have to respond. And to give himself something to do with his arms other than wrapping them around Eddie and pulling him closer. 

Richie could not for the life of him focus on the movie. He felt like he was dropping on a rollercoaster, but it had been twenty minutes and the feeling hadn’t stopped. Eddie kept shifting, but never away from him, and Richie was going to lose his mind. Then, Eddie leaned up to whisper something to Richie, and he couldn’t even process what he was saying, just that the feeling of Eddie’s breath warm and soft on his neck was going to make him pop a boner. Eddie’s face was so close to his, and his hand was on Richie’s chest, and Richie couldn’t stop seeing his dreams playing on repeat. 

Eddie’s tongue in his mouth.

Eddie’s hands running down from his chest, to his stomach, lower…

Eddie on his knees, Eddie in Richie’s lap, Eddie on top of him, inside—

“Well!” Richie exclaimed, rolling off the Yogibo with the grace of a newborn calf, popping up to the fond annoyance of his friends, “I do say, nature calls, so pip pip and tally-ho, off I must go to the loo.”

“Seriously?” Eddie groaned.

“Hey, you’re the one who’s always telling me to stay hydrated!” Richie retorted. “You’ve only got yourself to blame for this waterfall.” Really? he thought to himself. Yeah, that’s gonna get him to like you. Nice one, dumbass.

“You know you really don’t have to announce that,” Bev snickered, throwing Mike and Ikes at him until he reached the door.

“Alright, alright, tough crowd. Try not to miss me too much.”

He could hear Stan yelling something about not getting lost on his way back as he closed the door, finding himself alone in the hallway of Bill and Mike’s dorm.

God, fuck, he was so fucked. He had to take himself on a walk up and down the hallway just to calm himself down. Eddie made him so hot, like he was burning up. And he’d thought his feelings were messy before he started having the dreams. Eddie whispering to him like that, touching him like that… He knew when he got back in the room that he couldn’t do it. He felt a guilt heavy in his stomach when he plopped down next to Bill, squeezing himself in obnoxiously, but he knew he couldn’t be next to Eddie just then, not without crawling out of his skin. 

He ignored the weird look Bill gave him, the weird looks everyone gave him. He ignored the way Eddie kept glancing over at him, looking so small sitting on the bean bag by himself. He ignored the aching in his chest when Eddie asked Ben and Bev to walk him home instead of Richie. He told himself this was better as he walked home alone, that yeah, he missed Eddie’s banter, he missed the sleepy way he would bump into Richie, but it was better this way, better to get some distance and let the dreams peter out. Maybe if he didn’t touch Eddie, maybe if he didn’t see him for a few days he’d get his lips out of his mind, maybe he could forget the way Eddie’s skin felt against his own, and then the dreams would stop. Things could go back to normal if he could just stay away for a bit.

But that night only brought another dream, one filled with moans and giggles and Eddie’s hands and tongue all over him, inside of him. Another dream that had his blood rushing to his cock. 

He woke up hard and grinding against his mattress. His mind still lingering in the dream, the sensations still fresh in his mind, warming his skin, Richie rolled over onto his back and desperately shoved his hands down his boxers. He stroked himself tight and fast and came into his fist in under a minute, his toes curling and his breath coming out in gasping moans. It took a minute for his mind to clear. Once it did, his blissful haze shattered pretty abruptly. “Fuck,” he muttered, reaching for the roll of toilet paper on his desk to wipe his hand off with. He tossed the wad at his trash can with way more force than necessary before angrily throwing his sheets and comforter off of himself. He needed a fucking shower. A cold one. 

He didn’t get why the fuck this kept happening. Like, fuck, the dreams were amazing, sure. But Eddie was never gonna touch him like that. He could dream and fantasize all he wanted, but that was all he was ever gonna get.

He dodged Saturday brunch, grabbing a cinnamon roll from the dining hall and eating it in his room alone. He ignored Bill’s text asking if he wanted to talk about the night before. He holed up in his room and threw himself into the essay he had to write, hoping that that would be enough to make him forget. But finding quotes didn’t exactly scratch the same itch, and his mind kept drifting to Eddie, always Eddie, whispering in his ear, touching his chest on the bean bag the night before. There was no song he could blast loud enough to get it out of his mind.

It was around three when Richie heard an insistent knocking at his door. He paused the music and groaned, figuring Bill had come by to talk to him. But when he opened the door, Eddie was standing there with his arms crossed. Richie’s heart stopped. “Hey,” he said, “wasn’t expecting you. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

But Eddie was already pushing past him into his room. Richie closed the door; the pout on Eddie’s face made him figure this was about to be a door closed kind of conversation. Which made him want to vomit, but here they were. Eddie took a breath, paused, then finally blurted out, “Did I do something wrong?”

Richie’s head was spinning. “What?”

“You’ve been weird all week.” Shitshitshitshit. “You didn’t wanna study together, you sat next to Bill last night, you haven’t called me Eds in days—” Eddie cut himself, his voice breaking and eyes falling to the floor. Richie’s heart was beating so hard he was pretty sure he’d be able to see bruises on his chest in a few hours. “So, what, are you mad at me? ‘Cause whatever I did, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what I did, I don’t know why you’re avoiding me like this.”

“Eddie,” Richie started, stepping toward him. He reached his hand out, but let it drop. He was so torn. Eddie looked so small, so sad and confused, all Richie wanted to do was scoop him up into his arms and make everything better. But how could he touch him? How could he make this better? How could he explain what was wrong without scaring Eddie off? “Fuck, Eddie, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because Eddie’s eyes started filling with tears. “So, what? You just don’t like me anymore?”

“What? No, fuck no, Eddie, jesus, I love you!” Richie blurted. Every nerve in his body was screaming at him to run out the door, to get the fuck out of there, to not say anything more. But fuck it, he couldn’t see Eddie cry and do nothing. Grossing him out was better than hurting him, right? Eddie didn’t say anything, but he wiped a tear away and stood up a little taller, his eyes wide, urging Richie to go on. Richie took a tentative step closer before deciding against it and leaning against his bed. “Fuck, this is so awkward. Um. So, okay, so I’ve been acting weird.”

“Yeah?” Eddie prompted, turning toward him. He started to move closer, then apparently thought better of it. 

“And I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Richie ran his hands over his face, pushing his glasses up then readjusting them. “Fuck,” he said with a humorless laugh. “So um. So you’ve kinda been livin’ rent free in my dreams this week.”

Eddie gave him a confused look. 

God he was gonna have to spell it out, wasn’t he? “Like…” Richie mimed jerking himself off. Eddie raised his eyebrows. “Like, every fucking night this week.”

“Oh.” Eddie’s cheeks were pink.

“Yeah. So, you know. Kinda makes it hard to be around you knowing I’m such a fucking creep.” Richie gave a sheepish smile. 

Eddie gave him a long suffering look.

“Sorry, that was supposed to come out a lot funnier than it sounded—”

“Richie,” Eddie sighed, walking over to him. Richie straightened up, his heart in his throat as Eddie stood right in front of him. “You’re not a creep for having some wet dreams.” He gave him a smile and smacked him playfully on the chest. “I can’t believe that’s the whole reason you’ve been a dick this week.”

“Yeah, but it’s different,” Richie said before he could stop himself, thoughts flooding out on their own. 

“Why? Because we’re friends? I mean, sure, maybe every night for a week is kind of a lot, but I can’t say I’m not flattered.” He smiled then, but it softened, and he took Richie’s hand in his, running his thumb comfortingly over Richie’s skin. “I’m definitely not creeped out.”

You have to tell him, Richie’s mind screamed at him. You have to fucking tell him. If you don’t tell him now you never will. “Not just because we’re friends,” he whispered, his voice shaking. He tried to slip his hand out of Eddie’s, but Eddie just held him tighter as he looked into Richie’s eyes, waiting for more of an explanation. “I’m kinda, like… in love with you.” He waved his free hand in a ta-da motion, hoping to god that he could joke his way into making this less painful for both of them. Eddie’s eyes widened, but he didn’t let go, he didn’t move or say anything, and fuck, what was Richie supposed to with that? Fill the fucking silence was his go-to, so he started rambling, but nothing that came out was funny. “So, it’s like, the dreams are shit I’ve thought of, y’know? And I feel really fucking gross, because like, I’d do it. And I didn’t want you to find that out and think that I was taking advantage of you or whatever by letting you cuddle me and shit, because, fuck, when you were whispering to me last night, and pressing against me, I want that, y’know? You were gonna give me a fucking heart attack, and that’s weird, that’s gross, and I didn’t want you to be mad, or to leave me—” He broke on that and had to bite his lip to keep himself from crying.

“Richie,” Eddie sighed, pulling him down into his arms. Richie collected himself as Eddie held him, slowly bringing his arms around Eddie, trying to process what was happening. 

“You’re not mad?” he asked as he pulled away. Eddie cupped his face, and Richie couldn’t help but lean into his hand.

“Why would I be mad? All you’ve done is love me back.”

Richie’s eyebrows lifted hopefully. “Back?”

“Yes, back,” Eddie grinned. “I love you, too. I’m in love with you, too.”

“Fuck, for real?”

Eddie giggled and leaned up on his toes, bringing his lips to Richie’s. Richie placed his hands lightly on Eddie’s waist, kissing him back softly, making sure this was all happening, that touching him like this was okay. Once he was sure he wasn’t being pranked, he wrapped his arms around Eddie and pulled him closer, kissing him deeply, hungrily. God, he’d needed this for so many years, but he never could’ve prepared himself for how amazing it would feel. Eddie’s lips were so soft, so intentional with every move, and Richie could feel him smiling as he pulled him closer into him. Eddie’s arms were wrapped around his neck, their chests were pressed together, still Richie needed more, needed him closer. He needed to satiate the years and years of pining. 

“God, Eddie, Eds, my love, I love you so much.” He felt breathless and giddy to finally say it.

“I love you, too, Rich,” Eddie beamed, kissing the corner of Richie’s mouth, then his cheek, then his jaw. Richie moaned as Eddie pressed a kiss to the pulse point where Richie’s jaw met his neck and ran his hand over Richie’s chest, just like he had the night before. “So these dreams… what happened in them?” Richie shuddered at how low Eddie’s voice had gotten. “What was I doing in them?”

“Shit, what weren’t you doing?” Richie laughed breathlessly. “Sucking me off on your knees, stroking me and kissing my neck, fingering me, fucking me…”

“Yeah?” Eddie asked, his eyes sparkling. Richie gasped as Eddie’s hand travelled lower, teasing over Richie’s belt. “You want me to fuck you?” 

“Fuck, yes.” Richie’s breath trembled over the words. He had to grab the bed behind him to steady himself when Eddie’s palm pressed against Richie’s cock, which was quickly growing hard under his touch. At the same time, Eddie nuzzled his face against Richie’s neck, kissing the sensitive skin there. RIchie couldn’t help but moan and roll his hips into Eddie’s hand. “Eds, fuck…” he groaned. Eddie kept kissing his neck, his lips wet and warm and soft, and he tightened his grip on Richie a bit, the outline of Richie’s hard cock clear through his jeans by this point. 

“Is this what you want, baby?” Eddie murmured against his skin. Before Richie could gather himself to respond, Eddie was swiftly dropping to his knees. His brown eyes were wide and full of faux innocence, glittering with mischief as he looked up at Richie. “Is this what you dreamt about?”

“Yes, fuck, oh my god,” Richie whined, his voice thin and already so desperate as Eddie rubbed his face against the tent in Richie’s jeans. “Please, please, will you suck me, baby?”

“Wow, you’re so polite when you’re turned on,” Eddie mused. Then, with a wink, “I’ll keep that in mind.” God, Richie was excited to find out what Eddie meant by that, but for now he was fully occupied with watching Eddie undo his belt, then the button on his jeans, then his zipper. Richie got with the program as Eddie tugged his jeans down and stripped his shirt off, tossing it aside as he stepped out of his jeans, leaving him in his boxer briefs. He giggled at the exasperated look on Eddie’s face. “Where the fuck did you find Hello Kitty boxers?”

“What, like it’s hard?” Richie said. “You can find anything on the internet, my love.”

Eddie shook his head, but he was smiling. “I really love you,” he sighed, leaning in and pressing kisses to Richie’s stomach. He took his time trailing his lips down. “God, you’re so hot,” Eddie murmured against his skin, nuzzling into the patch of dark hair just above his waistband. “Every time your fucking shirt rides up I get half hard, can’t believe I’m finally getting my mouth on you.” Richie cursed as Eddie ran his lips over the outline of Richie’s cock. 

“Fuck, Eds, please.” Richie had one hand still supporting himself on his bed, but the other was now in Eddie’s hair. “I need you so fucking bad.” Richie felt his breath being knocked out of his chest when Eddie looked up and met his gaze as he sucked on the head of his cock through the fabric. But this time it was a fun breathlessness, the best kind of breathlessness. Feeling himself leaking, his cock throbbing, Richie let out another, “Eddie baby, please,” genuinely whining.

Eddie gave him a satisfied grin as he finally pulled Richie’s boxers down and let his cock bob up against his stomach. “Fuck, you have such a nice cock,” Eddie marvelled. Richie gasped as Eddie wrapped his fingers around him, stroking him. “Did you touch yourself after your dreams? Did you make yourself come while thinking about me?” Richie couldn’t believe Eddie, his Eddie Kaspbrak was talking to him like this. It made his head spin.

“Yes, oh fuck,” Richie groaned as Eddie lapped at the head of his cock, his tongue all pink and warm and wet. He pressed it flat against the base of Richie’s shaft and licked him all the way to the tip, never breaking eye contact as he did. “God, it feels so much better when you do it.”

“I know, baby,” Eddie purred. Richie let out a strangled moan as Eddie tongued at the sensitive bundle of nerves under the head of Richie’s cock. “Gonna make you feel so good.”

Richie had barely gotten out another, “Please,” when Eddie wrapped his lips around him and bobbed his head forward. Taking him in his mouth. Sucking on the head, making his knees shake. “Eds, fuck, oh my god,” Richie moaned. His eyes fluttered shut as Eddie took him further down his throat, but he didn’t wanna miss this. He’d already messed up Eddie’s hair, and his cheeks were pink and hollowed as he ran his tongue along Richie’s shaft, as he moved his lips over him. Eddie looked him in the eyes as he slid off with a popping sound, clearly happy with himself as he swirled his tongue around the head of Richie’s cock. To Eddie’s credit, the triumphant smirk was well-earned; Richie was already a whimpering mess, his knees trembling. “Eds, want you, please.”

“What do you want, baby?” Eddie asked. His voice was soft as he covered Richie’s cock in kisses that were so sweet in the filthiest way. 

“Wanna touch you,” Richie breathed. “Please, I need to feel you.”

Eddie groaned and pressed one more heated, sloppy kiss to Richie’s hip before standing up and bringing their lips together. Richie leaned into it, happily pliant in Eddie’s hands. He was still chasing the feeling of Eddie’s lips against his own when Eddie pulled back to pull his shirt off over his head.

“Oh fuck,” Richie muttered, staring at Eddie’s chest. Richie’s entire body burned as he drank in Eddie’s skin, the toned muscles underneath. Was he really allowed to look at him like this? Was he really allowed to let his gaze linger as long as he wanted?

His hesitation must have shown on his face. Softly, Eddie said, “Touch me.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Richie joked, but his voice shook, and his movements were slow as he brought his hands to Eddie’s chest, sliding them down to his waist and pulling him in. He saw Eddie grin, then felt it against his lips. Richie melted into it. God, Eddie’s chest felt so nice pressed against his own. He was so warm, his heartbeat right against Richie’s. As much as Richie’s heart was racing, he felt so incredibly safe. And that safety and warmth flooded into heat as Eddie shifted Richie’s hands down, guiding them to his belt. “Fuck,” Richie shuddered, fumbling to undo Eddie’s belt. He couldn’t get his hands to stop shaking.

“I got it,” Eddie giggled, gently pushing Richie’s hands away. Richie watched in awe as Eddie rid himself of his jeans, leaving himself in tented Calvin Klein boxer briefs. 

The fumbling and giggling actually helped Richie relax—enough to laugh as he pressed his lips to Eddie’s neck and palmed him through the black fabric. “You are such a brand whore.”

“Fuck you,” Eddie laughed breathlessly, bucking into Richie’s touch.

“Oh, you better, Mr. Gucci,” Richie winked. Eddie shook his head and brought his lips to Richie’s. He slid one hand down and took a hold of Richie’s wrist, guiding his movements. 

“Don’t worry, baby, we’ll get there.” Richie groaned at the low tone in Eddie’s voice; he had no idea he could sound like that. He dipped his hand past Eddie’s waistband and wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock, unable to wait any longer. He moaned as soon as he felt him, his cock hard and smooth and warm in his hand. Kissing his neck, he stroked Eddie slowly, running his fingers over him. “Fuck, that feels so good,” Eddie moaned. “Just like that, baby, yes, fuck.” While Eddie pushed his boxers down and stepped out of them, Richie spit into his palm, wrapping it around Eddie’s cock as soon as he was ready, getting it wet. They both groaned at the slick, smooth way Richie’s hand slid over Eddie. Richie’s chest bloomed with warmth as Eddie leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Richie’s shoulder, pressing kisses to Richie’s chest. 

“You are so fucking hot,” Richie said, pressing kisses to Eddie’s hair. Then, feeling emboldened by the way Eddie moaned and rocked his hips into his fist, he continued, “Can’t fucking wait to feel you inside of me.” 

“Fuck, I love you,” Eddie groaned. He pulled Richie into him, kissing him deeply, messily, desperately. Stroking him faster, Richie kissed back, matching his passion. “Oh my god, fuck, Richie, get on the bed.”

“Holy shit, yeah, okay,” Richie breathed, scrambling to do as Eddie said. At first he sat up, unsure where to put himself. But Eddie made it clear what he wanted as he climbed between Richie’s legs and pressed his hand against Richie’s chest, guiding him to lie back. With the way Eddie draped himself over Richie’s body and brought their lips together, running his hands over Richie’s thighs, he really truly could not believe this was his life. He moaned into Eddie’s mouth as their cocks rubbed together. “I love you,” he panted as Eddie kissed down his neck. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Eddie looked up at him and gave him a smile, pressing a kiss to his lips, one much softer than his previous ones. “So have I.”. Running his hands appreciatively over Richie’s body, he asked, “You sure about this?”

“Fuck yes,” Richie said, nodding enthusiastically. 

Eddie giggled and kissed him again. “Do you have lube and condoms?” 

“Top drawer of my desk.” As Eddie leaned over to grab them, Richie said, “God, this is actually happening, wow, okay, fuck. I’m clean by the way, like STD-free and everything, and also in the shower earlier—”

“Hey.” Richie shut up as Eddie stroked his hair. “Relax, okay? I’m gonna take care of you. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.” Richie nodded, but that wasn’t why he’d been rambling. Luckily, Eddie knew him, and he pressed a slow, deliberate kiss to Richie’s lips and told him, “You’re my best friend, you know that?” Richie let out a small breath as Eddie kissed the corner of his mouth, then his jaw, then his chest. “You are so gorgeous.”

Richie grinned. “So what you’re saying is you only like me because I’m hot?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yes.” He cut off any response by spreading Richie’s legs. 

“Oh, fuck,” Richie moaned, happily going where Eddie guided him. The satisfied smirk on Eddie’s face made Richie glow. 

He watched, enraptured, as Eddie poured the lube onto his fingers and spread it around. He watched Eddie’s eyes track his own movements as he brought his fingers down between Richie’s legs before looking up at him. “You ready?”

“Hell yeah,” Richie said, his grin wobbly from how breathless Eddie already had him. Eddie snickered at that before circling Richie’s entrance and slowly pressing his finger inside of him. Richie gasped, his head falling back to the pillow with a broken moan. He tensed at first, but soon relaxed as he felt Eddie work him open.

“You look so good,” Eddie murmured, almost as if to himself. It made Richie blush. He really wants this, he thought to himself, He really wants me. He settled comfortably into that reassurance as Eddie pressed kisses to Richie’s thighs and hips as he worked him open, thrusting his finger in and out gently. When Richie began rocking his hips with Eddie’s movements, seeking more, Eddie complied and thrust into him faster, soon adding a second finger. Richie moaned at the stretch and spread his legs wider. “Do you like that?” Eddie asked. 

Richie could tell from his voice that he knew the answer. Still, he breathed a blissed out, “Yes,” and groaned as Eddie thrust even deeper inside of him. It felt so amazing, Eddie’s fingers filling him up, sliding in and out of him. Just as he was settling into the rhythm, his mind pleasantly warm and fuzzy, Eddie curled his fingers, sending waves of electric pleasure through Richie. “Oh my fuck—” Richie cried, arching off the bed. He twisted his fingers in the sheets as Eddie’s fingers continued to graze over his prostate, making him buzz, the pleasure so deep and so intense.

And Eddie had the nerve to fucking giggle. “What? Does that feel good?”

“God, yes, yes, oh my god, oh my fucking god, fuck,” Richie answered, his words a string of broken whimpers. As he continued massaging that sweet spot, Eddie leaned forward and licked a stripe up the underside of Richie’s cock, making him practically scream. “Eds! Fuck, fuck, not gonna—shit oh my god, I’m not gonna last if you keep doing that.” 

Eddie looked up at him, feigning innocence. “You want me to stop?” Richie was so conflicted as Eddie licked the tip of his cock in short, light strokes, making his cock throb as he lapped up the precome dripping down the head. It was fucking heaven, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out if Eddie kept going, and he needed to feel Eddie inside of him. So, reluctantly, he nodded. “Why? What do you want?”

“God, fuck me, please,” Richie whined, shamelessly impatient and petulant. 

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Eddie said. He pressed slow kisses to Richie’s hip as he slowly pulled his fingers out. Richie sat up on his elbows to watch as Eddie rolled the condom onto his cock.

“Now that’s hot,” Richie said as Eddie poured lube onto his cock and stroked it, spreading the lube around. Eddie grinned and leaned down to kiss him. Richie ran his fingers through Eddie’s hair, holding him close a moment, really feeling his lips, the way he kissed him. He melted when Eddie pulled back and nuzzled his nose against Richie’s. He straightened up a bit then and lined his cock up with Richie’s hole. Eddie gently took Richie’s chin in his hands, guiding his gaze up to meet his.

“Are you ready?”

Looking into Eddie’s eyes, warm and brown and more familiar than the back of his own hand, Richie had never been more ready for anything in his life. “Eddie, my love, I’ve been ready for this for years.” His voice was soft as he reached out and stroked Eddie’s arm. “I am so in love with you and so, so, very horny.” 

“Richie,” Eddie sighed, an exasperated but amused grin on his face. “I love you, too.” Any other words Richie might’ve said died on his tongue as he felt the head of Eddie’s cock begin to stretch him open. He held Richie’s hips still with one hand and intertwined his fingers with Richie’s with the other. “Tell me if it’s too much, or if there’s anything you don’t like, okay?” Richie nodded, squeezing Eddie’s hand. He took a deep breath as Eddie moved his hips forward, going slow, letting Richie adjust. He needed a few moments to even out his breathing and get used to the sensation; as amazing as it felt, it was a lot. Soon, however, he was pressing his lips to Eddie’s knuckles and asking him to move. He gasped as Eddie pulled his hips back, but all of the tension flowed out of his body as Eddie pushed back in. It felt so natural, having Eddie inside of him, being connected like this. He could feel every nerve in his body sighing out a finally. “How does it feel?” Eddie asked. His voice was soft as he slowly, shallowly rocked his hips. 

With a lovestruck grin on his face, Richie answered, “Perfect.” 

A look crossed Eddie’s face then, one full of love and overflowing feelings. Richie only had a second to commit it to memory before Eddie leaned down and kissed him, kissed him like he wanted to press all of those feelings into Richie’s lips to make him understand them. Richie had a feeling he would never forget what Eddie looked like in that moment, how it felt when he kissed him like that. 

He whimpered when he felt Eddie tease his tongue over his, somehow gentle and so, so dirty at the same time. Eddie groaned and leaned in further, deepening the kiss and pressing his cock even deeper into Richie. Richie moaned at how good that felt; it was so much, almost too much, but he needed more. He rolled his hips as Eddie kissed him, pressing small moans into Eddie’s mouth every time his cock brushed against Eddie’s toned stomach. Searching for something to hold onto, something to ground him, his hands ran up and down Eddie’s back, gripped at his shoulders. It felt so amazing to have him so close, to be able to linger and really appreciate the feeling of Eddie’s soft, warm skin under his hands. “I’ve wanted to hear you moan like that for me for so long,” Eddie murmured, kissing along Richie’s neck, making him shudder. 

“Feels so good,” Richie breathed, his ability to string a complete sentence together already faltering.

“Yeah?” Eddie said, smirk evident in his voice. Richie moaned and threw his head back as Eddie picked up the pace of his thrusts. Hands sliding down to Richie’s hips, holding him up a bit as he fucked him harder, Eddie told him, “Fuck, you look so good like this. You feel so amazing.” Richie’s skin burned under the praise. He went to cover his face with his arm, not used to being complimented like that, but Eddie caught him by the arm and brought his lips to the inside of Richie’s wrist. He couldn’t believe how good such a simple touch felt. It had him bucking his hips into the air, his cock begging for attention as pleasure bloomed deep inside of him. It had him whimpering for more.

“Harder,” he begged. “Please, please fuck me.” With a hungry look, Eddie leaned over and pinned Richie’s wrist above his head and began fucking Richie hard and deep and fast, just like he’d asked for. Richie’s eyes went wide as he let out a broken, “Yes.” He threw his head back and screwed his eyes shut, really feeling every thrust. Eddie was fucking him so good, filling his room with the sound of skin on skin and Richie’s desperate moans of yesyesyesrightthereohfuckyesyesfuckyes. As he opened his eyes to find Eddie’s hooded and trained on his face, Richie couldn’t help but let out a dreamy, “I love you.”

Eddie groaned and pressed himself against Richie, chest to chest, his face buried in Richie’s neck. “I love you so much.” Richie wrapped his arms and legs around Eddie and held him tight. Eddie rolled his hips, burying his cock so deep inside Richie before pounding into him hard and fast again. With the way Eddie was fucking him, Richie’s cock sliding between them where they pressed against one another, Richie was getting close fast. It was all so much in the best way. He buried his face in Eddie’s shoulder, biting down. His muffled moans were punctuated by every thrust. He raked his nails down Eddie’s back as he felt his pleasure building, coiling within him. He was right on the edge, and he wanted to live in that intensity forever. Sinking further into his desperate haze, he rocked his hips, making his cock throb. 

“Eds,” he panted, throwing his head back, “‘m close, fuck, oh my god, I’m so close.”

Eddie sat up then, and Richie let his legs fall back to the bed, spread open wide. He cried out when Eddie wrapped his hand around Richie’s cock. He arched into Eddie’s touch, his hands gripping the sheets tight. “Come for me, baby,” Eddie moaned. “Fuck, I’m so close too, wanna watch you come on my cock.”

“Oh, fuck!” Richie cried. “I’m coming, I’m coming, fuck, fuck, yes,” he moaned, his eyes screwed shut and words slurring into moans as he came, his pleasure crashing over him like a wave, engulfing him entirely. All he could feel, all he could think was Eddie. Eddie, inside of him, touching him, making him feel like this. It made it so much better than it had ever felt, knowing it was Eddie holding him, that it was his Eddie looking at him, fucking into him, telling him:

“Rich, baby, I’m coming.” Richie was still catching his breath and coming down when he felt Eddie still his hips, burying his face in his neck, biting down and sucking hard as he groaned and gasped. Richie held him and stroked his hair as he came, barely believing he was making Eddie make those noises, that he made Eddie shake like that. Once he felt Eddie relax against him, pressing light kisses to Richie’s skin, Richie held him tight and buried his face in his hair. 

“Fuck,” he laughed, kissing Eddie wherever he could reach.

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed breathlessly. “That was… wow, that was amazing.” He rearranged himself so his head rested on Richie’s chest and smiled up at him. 

“Tell me about it.” Richie kissed his nose, then delighted in the adorable way Eddie scrunched up his face.

Eddie’s eyes searched Richie’s for a moment before he said softly, “I really love you. A lot.”

Richie melted; for a second he thought he might actually cry. “Eds, you’re the fucking light of my life,” he said, barely able to finish his sentence before he was bringing his lips to Eddie’s. “I love you so much.” He knew in that moment that he would never get tired of feeling Eddie smiling against his lips. 

Eddie pressed a kiss to Richie’s cheek before saying, “I’m gonna pull out, okay?” He giggled when Richie whined.

“Just a little longer?” he pouted. Eddie kissed it right away.

“As long as you want. I could stay like this forever.”

Richie snuggled into him, taking a moment to bask in the glow before saying, his voice smug and full of love, “I knew you’ve always liked it when I call you Eds.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled before attacking Richie with kisses.

taglist: @clouded-eyes-and-salty-tears @eddieeatsass @deadlighturis @constantreaderfool @reddieloserz @jessicaheartsderry @vegetarian-avocado @tinyarmedtrex @sml1104 @thelazyeye @itfandomprompts @montconde @fizzylemones @lexinatorwrites @scribbles-solo @nancythebisexualslutwheeler @cutedubutokki @peachcartoon123

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XXXVII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

One Sided Love

(8x18/8x19/8x20)

Hi my dears! I bring to you another meta from my series Destiel Chronicles.

Today we are going to talk about three episode that shows how Dean was feeling heartbroken, trying to handle a one sided love as he could see it.

I want to say thank you to my precious friend @agusvedder she made the gifs for this meta. 😍💕💕💕

Let's start...

Sam knows, and Dean avoiding his feelings to his brother

In episode 8x18 Feeeks and Geeks we had Sam trying to make his brother talk.

Because remember the last time, Sam saw him sad inside the Impala, listening to GOODBYE STRANGER song, and he get the idea right there. He saw how affected was his brother with Castiel leaving him. Because I really think Sam knew Dean felt something more than just a friendship for Castiel.

Just as Dean realized he loved Castiel, Sam realized Dean was in love with the angel.

So... Sam tried, as I said, to make Dean talk...

Sam is obviously trying to talk about how Dean is dealing with his brokenheart, but look at Dean's surprised face... Like... He didn't expected his brother came out with that question. Sometimes I wonder how much Dean thinks he can hide his feelings from his brother... Because he can't...

And because he's bringing CASTIEL to the chat... Dean connect the thing with... Feelings...

Okay... Sam brings Castiel to the surface, and Dean brings the word feelings to the surface too...

Sam is offering his shoulder here, waiting for Dean, at first it looks like Dean is about to confess something, but then... Th King of Avoidance, as I call him, decided to not talk, and because he needs the NO HOMO tag, he began to mocking his brother...

DEAN: Okay. I'll tell you what. Why don't I go get some, uh, herbal tea.

SAM: Okay.

Fine, I need you to pay attention to these words ... First of all... Herbal tea, mocking his brother, calling him a sensitive person, but that's the word that's accurate for you, Mr. Avoidance.

And then... Cowboy Junkies ... Okay, country music, with very sensitive lyrics... Poetic and corny... But do you know which song is one of their most famous? Misguided Angel. And do you want the lyrics?

I said "Mama, he's crazy and he scares me

But I want him by my side

though he's wild and he's bad

and sometimes just plain mad

I need him to keep me satisfied"

Okay people, idk if you all be alive after reading the whole lyrics here, but this is Cas here... Cas who went crazy and just flew away? He went to the dark side now bc he doesn't trust Dean? Yes Dean knowing he was off, he just couldn't stop praying to him, and calling him, and missing him. He wanted Castiel by his side, even if Cas was behavior weird.

I said "Papa, don't cry cause it's alright

And I see you in some of his ways

Though he might not give me the life that you wanted

I'll love him the rest of my days"

People... I can't with this subtext right here... Dean is suffering, but inside of him he wants to run to CAS? Like? Let me die here...

Misguided angel hangin' over me

Heart like a Gabriel, pure and white as ivory

Soul like a Lucifer, black and cold like a piece of lead

Misguided angel, love you 'til I'm dead

This song even mentions Gabe and Luci and I just Can't.

I said "Brother, you speak to me of passion

You said never to settle for nothing less

Well, it's in the way he walks,

it's in the way he talks

His smile, his anger and his kisses"

We all know Dean, same here...

I said "Sister, don't you understand?

He's all I ever wanted in a man

I'm tired of sittin' around the T.V. every night

Hoping I'm finding a Mr. Right"

Okay... After this... Romantic subtext here... And if you are alive yet... We had Sam upset, getting out the car...

Dean is pleased, he just avoid the conversation about him and Castiel and feelings, making his brother desist, and he's l safe now, in his avoidance world. Good Talk.

One Sided Love

Let's jump to episode 8x19 Taxi Driver we had a heartbreaking scene between Naomi and Dean.

Cas was gone, and Naomi wanted to win Dean's confidence, she needed an ally. But Dean didn't trust her. Because he knew all the thing she had done to Castiel... And this was the interesting exchange of words...

DEAN: You screwed with his head and had him spy on us.

NAOMI: Well, it is true that I have spoken with Castiel many times, trying to reach out to him, trying to help him. Dean, you must have noticed how Purgatory changed him. I mean, he's been unstable in the past, but I was shocked at how damaged he is now.

DEAN: Stop, okay? Don't – don't try to spin this. You think I don't know that you told him to try and kill me?

NAOMI: Hmm. Yeah, I suppose that is how he would hear it. When I learned of the Angel tablet, I did tell Castiel to get it at any cost. That's my job – to protect heaven. I'm a warrior, just as you are. What would you expect? And now Castiel is in the wind with a hydrogen bomb in his pocket, and I – I'm scared, for all of us.

First of all, Castiel is known as unstable? Okay, like he has a break on his chasis? The rebellious? Yes. The unpredictable. That's our Cas.

And Dean is trying to avoid her manipulative speech, even so, Naomi doesn't give up, and now she's using Castiel's safety as a tool to make Dean break.

Look at Dean's face when Naomi says YOU HAVEN'T WARDED THIS PLACE AGAINST US, is like he was caught... He didn't warded the place, just as he didn't warded in season 6, because he was waiting for Castiel to return... Ooohhh that damn corny song again in my head!

Look how Naomi is using Cas the whole time, he knows Dean's feelings for Castiel, and about their bond, every angel and every demon know that.

She's marking here... Your love is unrequited, Dean.

NAOMI: I know you don't want to believe it, Dean, but we're on the same side – 

Again! Naomi is using Cas! Talking about bringing him back from cold? Really? She's using this words specifically to reach Dean! Through Castiel!

She's a bitch, but thank you for this subtext.

Blue Hand Print

Remember when I said season 8 the show began to use more colors and visual narrative?

Well episode 8x20 Pac-Man Fever, we saw bastards d-jin... Like the son you never wanted? With blue hand prints? Are we in the same page here?

We know the bad print is the Destiel symbol, and the color blue is a reference to Castiel, the rebellious son.

But in this chapter we also had this cute scene with Charlie...

Charlie is a character that always exposes Dean's bi self.

We know she had readed the Supernatural books, so she's aware about the subtext, and Castiel and Dean relationship. That's why this comment is so important, because she's trying to make Dean talk about Cas... Because why would a lesbian name a man dreamy, she was trying to get into an intimate confession from Dean about his dreamy angel. But as always, Dean avoid the insinuation. He's not looking at her, and he made that comment as if hearing Castiel's name was nothing. King of Avoidance my friends...

To Conclude:

Dean was feeling unrequited and abbandoned by Castiel, betrayed. He tried to avoid conversation with Sam, while naming things related with sensitive people and songs and herbal tea.

The unrequited love is exposed by Naomi on that important exchange of words he had with Dean. Dean was hoping Castiel to come back to him, even after the crypt scene.

Charlie is a factor of exposition for Bi!Dean, and is also a truly Destiel shipper.

I hope you like this one, see you soon!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons

If you want to be tagged, just let me know

If you want to read the previous meta from season 8, the links are here...

Vol. XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI

Buenos Aires November 13rd 2019 6:29 PM

[hyunsracha]

rubicund — bang chan

word count: 1.8k

summary: music production major chris really needs a place to live - and you just happen to have a few empty rooms and need a new roommate.

right.

let’s go lesbians!!

so u, lovely lil college sophomore u, lived in an apartment

fuck dorm lives

n ur roommate was ur friend n everything was SICK

until ur friend moved out - to live w his boyfriend -_-

now u were alone :(

and u didn’t have enough money to pay rent by yourself :(

so u either move out! or find another roommate

but ur apartment was way too sick to just MOVE OUT LIKE THAT

so u started advertising hey! i’m a poor college student! be my roommate if ur also in college! hey!

christopher bang, college sophomore, has been kicked out of his apartment.

his roommate, jisung, said, “hey chris? this apartment is a one bedroom n my boyfriend is moving in so …. can u go?” LIKE IT WAS THE MOST CASUAL THING EVER???

SURE JISUNG, I’LL JUST BE HOMELESS!!

chris, the angel he is, agreed.

but now he needed a place to live! hopefully w enough room to set up his recording stuff

so he started looking until- hey! he stumbled upon your ad!

the ad seemed friendly enough, so he went to check it out

u opened the door on a rainy sunday after rushing around to make sure everything looked PERFECT!!

every couch pillow was Fluffed to Perfection >:(( and every surface was Sparking >:((

honestly though?? chris thought U were sparkling

u opened the door, ur face flushed from all the rushing about, and u smiled the most gentle smile ever,

“hi! i’m y/n. you’re chris, right?”

“t-that i am!”

you started giving him a tour of the apartment, making sure to emphasize how good a roommate u were and that u usually stayed in ur room so !! no need to worry about u !!

but chris was !! worrying !!

u were so cute and ur voice was so cute n u seemed so shy and unsure of what u were doing

u were just so soft! how was he supposed to live w the biggest cutie in the world?

“um. i’m a music production major...and i make music with two of my friends, and i usually work at home. is that an issue? would it be too loud?”

“oh no not at all! we have an extra room that my old roommate used as a dance studio, so you could use it as a recording studio or whatever!”

dang it

chris was kinda hoping that his music thing would be annoying so he couldn’t live there

but the house was perfect! and u seemed like the perfect roommate!

a week later, chris was moving in

u helped him, of course, u lil angel

u didn’t really know chris that well, so u didn’t know if he was just a shy dude or if he was nervous around u

news flash: he’s nervous

u were helping him move in??? what a kind soul!!! can u get any cuter >:((

apparently.

he was organizing his stuff that night when there was a light knocking on his door.

it was u

“hey”

“hey?”

“i uh-” u were looking down at ur feet, ur hands clasped behind ur back, “was just wondering if you wanted to come watch a movie with me? i mean, we live together now so we should probably get to know each other and maybe be friends, yanno?”

“o-oh! sure! what movie?”

“i was thinking mulan…”

“ur speaking my language now”

so there u two were, all sprawled out in the living room, covering in soft blankets and chomping down on some snacks.

u two were barely focused on the movie, finding each other much more interesting.

u learned that he made music with his friends jisung and changbin, he was australian, and that the color green really spoke to his soul for some reason he could not understand

“just dye your hair green then” you had joked, to which he responded with “bet!”

and the next night, your glove-covered hands were covered in green as you rubbed them around in chris’s hair.

he told u that his friends kept calling him broccoli chan and that he thought about punching jisung for a long time but he liked it a lot

u felt a sense of pride that u did the hair that chris liked!! yes!! go u!!

as the weeks went on, you and chris only got closer and closer.

and your feelings grew and grew.

at first, you just brushed it off as spending so much time together

but when he spent a few days at changbin’s to finish a few tracks, u found yourself missing him >:(

u missed his stupid broccoli hair and his stupid smile and his stupid giggle and his stupid dad jokes that DIDN’T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE-

oh no!

u liked chris

now what?

u pretend u don’t and just deal with it on ur own bc confessing is for PUSSIES.

like?? what if he rejected u?? y’all LIVED together- it would be so awkward.

and when he came home u pretended that u DIDN'T miss him

even when he got all up in ur grill like “did u miss me?? u lil cutie i bet u did”

yeah chris is like that

once he was comfortable with u he decided to voice the thoughts he had about u

u stumble into the kitchen after just waking up, messy hair and half-closed eyes?

“UR SO CUTE WOW!!!”

u come home from class super pissed off and pouty?

“HOW ARE U SO ADORABLE??”

well….not all of his thoughts.

he didn’t tell you that he thought about you before going to sleep.

he didn’t tell you that every night, he debated getting up and going to your room, which was just across the hall, and climbing into your bed and cuddling you to death.

he didn’t tell you that every time you were stressing about taking a test or turning in an essay, he just wanted to kiss you and make all your stress disappear.

so basically, he was #whipped

ugh, mutual pining, we love that!

so who does he tell?

no one, dummy

he tells his lyric book!

look at u, getting songs written about u and shit

but one day, jisung found said lyric book.

“oooooh!!!!! who is the target of our channie’s affections??” he had squealed, quickly reading over chris’s scribbled text.

“JISUNG YOU WHORE GIVE IT BACK.”

but jisung - that whore - wasn’t very good at listening. he started rapping what chan had written, even though they were just lyrics without a melody.

“NO you BUFFOON you’re not supposed to RAP it’s a pretty ACOUSTIC song don’t you listen to ed sheeran >:(“

“haha she ran.”

“you fool.”

after minutes of struggling, chris YANKED his lyric book back from the buffoon, shoving it deep into his backpack.

“well you write lyrics about your boyfriend so what’s so weird about THIS?”

“we know who jisung’s boyfriend is but we don’t know who you’re writing about.” changbin stated, not even looking up from his phone.

“it’s uh...my roommate-”

“how cliche-”

“jisung you literally bumped into your boyfriend in the hallway and spilled your coffee on him. you’re the king of cliches. let the man speak.”

ok

changbin snapped?

“um yeah it’s my roommate. y/n. they’re just….i dunno….really cool and nice and cute and...make me feel things i haven’t felt before yeah.”

jisung and changbin shared a look.

“like? butterflies in your stomach and your head’s in the clouds and you feel on top of the world when you’re with them?”

“yeah? and what about it?”

another look.

“interesting.”

jisung quickly delivered this information to his boyfriend, hyunjin.

who just so happened!

to be your ex-roommate.

so he, of course, told you.

“you’re kidding, right?” you asked, not even looking at your laptop screen where hyunjin’s goofy smile was.

“no! jisung had a hard time getting it all out, chris was being so romantic. he couldn’t look me in the eyes for like 20 minutes after.” hyunjin was looking down at his cuticles, his feet propped up on his desk.

since he moved out, this is how you guys talked the most

go over to his new place? no thanks!

jisung was a cool guy but .. he was a slob and you didn’t want to be around that energy

“so. he likes me back.”

“yes- WAIT BACK??? Y/N Y/LN YOU NEVER TOLD ME THIS? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BACK-”

“sorry jinnie i think the door’s about to open. you should probably sort out that weird no eye contact thing with jisung haha love you bye!” you quickly ended the call, breathing out a sigh of relief.

the door opening was just an excuse, but then the front door opened.

(soulmate culture! thanks)

you popped your head out from around a corner, sending a smile to your roommate.

“hello, love of my life.”

“hello, Christopher.”

“ouch?”

you giggled, “i’m just kidding,” you moved from your spot and plopped down on the couch next to chris, moving your body so you were facing the broccoli-haired boy.

“sooooo…..any interesting conversations today?”

real smooth, y/n. real smooth.

“excuse me?”

“you know...any conversations about roommates that make your heart do flippy things?”

“i’m going to kill jisung.”

“please don’t. if it wasn’t for his big mouth, i might’ve never had the confidence to do this.”

“what is ‘th-’” but he was cut off

by your lips

on his

fun, right?

your hand was so soft on his cheek

and your lips were soft too

he was kind of going insane

this was pure bliss for him

but hey, people gotta breathe

and you, the non-rapper, had to pull away first

you smiled at him, and he was reminded of your first meeting

you were flushed again, and your smile was still so gentle

his heart was pounding, and he didn’t know if it would ever stop

so after giving you a few seconds to breathe, he pulled you in again

he had an inkling he would never get tired of the feeling

everything about you was so soft, so delicate

he handled you like glass

chris was always meticulous, and it was obvious in the way he kissed you.

this time, he pulled away, only to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

“so uhhh...do i like called you my boyfriend now or?”

he laughed. it was the most beautiful sound.

“yeah, i would like that a lot.”

that night, chris followed you into your bed.

and he held you and let the steady pounding of his heart lull you to sleep.

and he fell asleep to the sound of your breathing.

and the next morning, he was the first to wake.

but he used those few minutes before you woke up to just admire you.

when you woke up, he just smiled down at you, “hey.”

your sleepy smile was the prettiest thing he had ever seen.

“hey, boyfriend.”

[freshginandtonic]

My Watch is.. still going

Since starting a new position at work and waking up at 2:30 every morning I have become a hermit - bad for my social life and general wellbeing, but a great time to start watching a new TV series. Or rather, a show that’s not new at all, just one that everyone has been watching for 8 years, and I’m just jumping on the bandwagon now. Yes, I have finally gotten into Game of Thrones. As I write this I have five more episodes of the final season to watch, so I figured now was as good a time as any for some self-reflection on the fact that, in between working ten hours a day, the rest of my time has been devoted to finding out who will end up on the Iron Throne and sleeping.

I’ve always been of the credence that yes, one day when I’m 60 and have enough time, I will in fact sit down and watch Game of Thrones. That all changed at 4am in the last week of May, when I arrived at work to find a package on my desk -  w the words ‘unbowed, unbent, unbroken’ written on it - I later learned that was the motto of one of the great houses of GoT - and a USB inside, with the first season all ready for me. Thanks to my colleague Will, my watch had begun.

Throughout each episode I’ve live texted Will my thoughts, emotions and reactions to just about every scene - usually in all capitals. I’ve noticed this has greatly added to the quality of my viewing - it’s nice to know you can send a one line quote from Season 2 episode six and he’ll know exactly where I am in which episode and can respond in kind with a follow up line, appropriate gif or meme. It’s different to the normal viewing experience because while you don’t have the immediacy and intimacy of an in-person response, the anticipation of a text reaction feels like more of a shared, special event - I’m taking time while watching this thing to let you know I’m watching the thing: here are my raw thoughts. Far more exciting.

My phone had to be put down for some moments though - particularly for the Battle of the Bastards - it was such a sensory overload I couldn’t be trusted to text properly AND keep track of Jon Snow. 

So I began, a novice in season one (in love with Jon and Robb and protective of Ned - how well did THAT turn out?) and I quickly realised I wasn’t going to be able to get through this without some help. So I had some red wine to cope with the first big death of the season (it’s been so long I can’t really remember who it is now) and got on with it. Then came Ned’s death (cue gasps) and onwards to the most important part of season three - no, not the Red Wedding - you better believe I’m talking about Robb Stark’s first relationship and sex scene w cute healer Talisa. I will say I never thought a scene with a leg amputation could be choked with sexual tension, but let me tell you GoT made it happen (context: Robb is on the battlefield being smouldery, Talisa comes to help a wounded enemy soldier and has to cut his leg off while she and Robb exchange heated flanter) and then they finally get it on after she tells some heart wrenching story about her brother (sad but it went right out of my head as soon as I saw Robb’s bum. It’s the important things).

There’s been a lot written about the shock value of Game of Thrones - killing main characters for the sake of killing them, using sexual violence as a plot device, and gratuitous violence. Regarding the sex and violence; first, there’s a Lot if it. A lot more than I thought. Lots of boobs and bums and moments where I had to pause when a family member came into the room. I was pretty surprised at how normalised this became for me - before long I found myself glad and inwardly cheering when someone got axed, poisoned, or ripped apart by dogs (you all know who I mean here.) 

When violence was used, sometimes in not-so-great moments (shall we be reminded of Sansa’s awful rape scene) - it did  sometimes serve as a real catharsis to see some truly terrible people be given their comeuppance (Ramsay’s great ending, Joffrey’s wedding, ) Other people who don’t deserve it are brutalised as well (once again Sansa, and how many others I can’t remember). There’s definitely no discrimination on that front.

 There’s also a weird sense of redemption. Not in every character (obvs - what show is this again?) but being able to follow a character’s arc in one go without break has made their journey all the more meaningful. Particularly for the character of Theon: (a brief summation: he betrays his adopted family and best friend, then gets mutilated and psychologically tortured and broken down before he breaks down and changes). Seeing him come to back to life and find his morals again has been a real highlight and emotional strongpoint of the show for me. I cheered and teared up for each bout of progress he made - fair play to him, he took his fucking time and made loads of mistakes along the way, but he got there.

Regarding the controversial Ending™ my dad told me he read about one guy who binged the whole show like I’ve done, and he had a markedly improved opinion of the final season compared to other people. Everyone I’ve spoken to has, in their own words, said there’s a Golden Period (roughly seasons 2 - 6), and then everything from then on is basically horse shit. I don’t know if that’s right or I’m in a position to judge yet, but right now there’s nothing more satisfying to see characters who have been on separate journeys for literally 8 seasons come together and interact after so long.

So to sum up watching seven and a half seasons, roughly 68 hours and 4080 minutes of TV in under a month - it’s been A Lot. I think I have popular and unpopular opinions about the characters and storylines (pop: Jaimie and Brienne need to bang) vs (unpop: Dany’s character development - nope and she needs to stop conquering cities pls). I am glad I’ve waited this long to watch it all in one go (if I had to wait a year to find out what happened to Jon Snow after the season five finale I would have fucking RIOTED). I’ve appreciated the small moments: the Night’s Watch banter, the dire pups, Jon and Ygritte’s excellent enemies to lovers relationship (a personal favourite trope of mine), and everything Varys says, to the bigger pieces of the puzzle: Jon’s true heritage, the Stark’s getting avenged, Arya’s and mainly Sansa’s transformation from the girl who wanted to marry Joffrey to the absolute badass bish she is from where I currently sit.

So is my life changed? Nope. But at least now I’m part of the cultural carpet. My watch is nearly over, but what an absolute time its been.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS OF GREAT MOMENTS FOR THOSE IN THE KNOW (AKA EVERYONE ON EARTH)

Sam getting ripped for reading by all the dudes in the Night’s Watch

Dany’s excellent outfit choices in s7/8 - a particular shoutout to the winter outfit of season 7 episode 8 and the grey frock with the red dragon cape (LIVING for the texture)

Ditto Cersei - taking power suits to a whole new level since taking the Iron Throne (this particular outfit is an absolute LEWK and the picture doesn’t do the spiky shoulders justice)

Jon’s transition to the man bun post-resurrection (I personally detest man buns but I absolutely loved this change for him)

Sansa’s dead straight curtain of hair - there’s something super satisfying about it after years of her wearing those Padme Amidala style ‘Southern Style’ hair

The entirety of House Tyrell (particular mention to Lady Olenna who deserves all the awards in the world for only killing one character in this show)

Lady Margaery’s sassy backless dresses (she knows how to make the most of the King’s Landing climate)

Jaime and Brienne’s entire relationship (from the enemies to friends trope to him GIVING HER HIS SWORD AND A WHOLE SUIT OF ARMOUR) - if that’s not a love confession then I will just cut off my own damn hand

The entirety of the shirtless Flex Scene™ of the pilot

Sansa saying the iconique phrase ‘How do you answer these charges, Lord BaELISH’

Any time anyone said the words ‘King in the North’

Battle of the Bastards - need I say more. I won’t big it up like so many of the magazines and entertainment websites did, but it felt like one of the most realistic depictions of a medieval battle you could find. I felt it in my gut. I don’t know how you couldn’t. When Jon couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t breathe.

Bran literally being the group member of the assignment who drags you down bc he just sits in a cave