#this isnt my best work (not vibing with the colors) but hey! its alright
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stan-and-the-newbie · 6 years ago
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A kpop newbie’s reaction to LOONA
you know i had to do it to ‘em
Alexa: bold
Alex: italic
okay so today you're reacting to Loona!
o, noice
they just debuted like two days ago and everyone is crying
damn. ok but do any of them speak english <<
y es
n  u  t
i believe i already told you, they built this Loonaverse, and released a girl each month
yeh, you told me a few things
right. all of them have an animal and a color. the first five girls have an additional location, then the next three girls have a superpower, and the last four girls have a fruit
...alexa. t-twelve
yeah
<-<
>->
alright fam hit me up
okay, the first girl that was released, back in 2016, is heejin
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damn she looks like a disney princess
she does;;
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this is aN INSULT
isnT IT
someone arrest her, she's not allowed to be so cute. it is illegal.
how old is she and what does she do
uhh she's 21and she's a singer
she iS BORN IN 2000
... ALEXA WE'RE MOVING TO KOREA PACK YOUR SHIT
ill give you her music video now
alright
the location is hard to guess, so just try to guess her color and animal
hmm
*ViViD*
i'm not watching this u freak, you know about my arachnophobia
y tho. there are no spiders
THERE IS ONE IN THE THUMBNAIL, BIG AND RED
there are no spiders, so play the song, its good. no girl has the spider as her animal u coward
the song's aight. i'd listen to it in a cafe. her animal is obviously a bunny and her color is either red or white. asian girls with thick thighs are too powerful alexa. someone needs to do something about them. it's a health hazard.
omf. her color is actually hot pink;; but u got her animal right lol
o damn. well pink is the mix between red and white isn't it >>
ooOOO
pFFF
she's part of the first subunit, 1/3
ah, so she's a colonel
omG. i mean, y'know, subunits are some of the members that form like a band of their own and put out music
with 12 bloody members, i can imagine
loona has three. anyway, a few things about heejin
hit me
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she’s a whole cutie
o gee i couldn't notice
sdfdsdf she likes dad jokes and randomly breaks into silly and awkward dances but she doesn't care. she's also afraid of pigeons 
the guards would have to restrain me from pinching her cheeks if i was ever in the same room with her. and to be fair those things are chaotic evil. one literally flew into my face once.
omf
they also carry diseases similarly to rats. except they fly. so yeah, i can see why one would be afraid.
she also named a rabbit from the set "heekki". hee from her name, and kki from the korean word for rabbit, tokki. and proceeded to ask if she could adopt it.
that's adorable go away i am stone cold
is there anything else u want to know about her. her location is paris, and the first ever video of her beside her mv was her repeating random french phrases she knew in the airport
pfffF.
the next member is hyunjin
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they’re all so pretty i cry
they are :(
they are like porcelain dolls, but without the creepiness of a doll, just the beauty and cuteness
i KNOW. so, how old is she
hmm 20 and she's a rapper
she is ALSO born in 2000 ;D and she's a singer
i-
here's her music video
after mark's video on that cat game, the thumbnail horrifies me
o-oh
alight so her animal is a kitteh. so she's the neko of the group, noice... is this a thriller film, geez.
ghjkjhghjk its just a kitten smh
an e v i l kitten
cats cant be evil. her song is very kdrama-ish
her color is... i honestly have no idea
her color appears in the first third of the video
green? blue?
she wears it
lemon
yeh, yellow. and yes her animal is cat lol. what about the song? it’s a drastic change from the last one
ok that last part horrified me. idk it's a weird mix between depression and a drug trip
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so, about this baby. her location is tokyo, and she is the savage one
o-oh
shes the one that kept a blank face on a rollercoaster while the others were screaming. also, she really likes bread and croissants
and she's not a rapper smh. well, she does have a pretty voice.
she does~ and shes really sporty, practiced a lot of sports before becoming an idol
alright, off to my wife. this is haseul.
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and no photo makes her justice
i-
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UGH queen
that jawline fam
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i’m sorry i just. literally have never seen such a beautiful woman
alright by now i'm about 70% convinced that these people are created in underground governmental labs
m e. aight, how old is she
fucc it, she's uhh 18
she's actually born in 1997 dfgfdsdfgh
OF COURSE. sigh. that's just my luck
but i understand u
they all look between 15 and 20 anyway does it really matter- i- she's more pretty than she is cute. respecc.
this is her music video
her color is bleagh. i mean bleuugh. blue
omf
she's a parappa the rapper. but she's also a singer. idk her voice sounds like she can rap. was that plane just there and they used it or did they buy a gigantic plane prop for the video
(i really hoped alex would say this because this video exists)
i-
she’S TRYING. her color is green but her location is iceland so liek,,, i guess the writers clashed ideas
blasphemy. they should have went for turquoise
her animal is a dove. she’s also the leader of the group, and the mom friend #1. she can speak english but she has a cute accent which i Love
awh
aaaand she’s a seal enthusiast
o. that's something
they went to iceland so she was like "omg a seal!!! hi !! that was a seal!!"
pffa whole cutie
she is :( she’s also really funny
anyway, the next one makes me feel worthless. this is yeojin
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another flawless creation of the secret korean labs
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her age?
that tissue-printing chamber in that korean lab from avengers 2? not fiction - they use it to create idols. uhh 19
:D she is 15!!!1
...
and turns 16 in november !!
Goodbye. Tty later, i gotta pack my stuff
dfgfdGHJH here is her song. its very cute because, well, shes a child
L O L I C O N    A L E R T. those three dudes are terrifying. is that the joker wearing a frog head
mmmmaybeh
this is weird lmfao. aaand there's the foot fetish
you’RE HORRIBLE
why is the frog dude going all roaring reeo on her only to give her a fucking present
well, its a song about how she doesn’t want the relationship to move too fast, so she doesn’t want to kiss the dude just yet
that ending was just... idk man. this one broke me. her color is red, and her animal is a frog because that's the only animal in the foreground here idfk
her color is orange, close enough. the other members call her "bean" because shes the youngest and rlly smol and chubby.
awh ;;
and everyone treats her like a baby lmao
well, what did u expect. hmm i think i like the first one the best so far
o, alright
so, these past four girls and the fifth one form the subunit 1/3. the fifth one was introduced through the subunit's first song, but i'll give u their second song cuz its Better
*check out “Sonatine it’s superior*
basically, these girls have a very dreamy concept with a lot of piano and strings. the fifth girl is the pink haired one, and baby yeojin isn’t here cuz her grades were dropping lmao
i-
shhhh just listen to the song
this song gives me the sad
u gotta appreciate the animu songs
i do, i was literally gonna say that this one somewhat reminds me of miia's second song
same !!
her color is W H I T E like my teeth. p u r e  w h i t e
she haS HER OWN mv
o
the fifth member is vivi
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shes chinese and the oldest
from communism to idolization. noice
i-
so she's wot, 21? 22?
yeh, shes turning 22 this year
noice
here’s her song
a break from the animu songs. ps: they dont come back
sad. kinda stalkerish fam
ikr. shes a hooman here. but in the subunit mvs she’s an android
what
idk fam they go all out and no one knows whats happening
i am gonna get bashed for this but when she smiles her cheeks look kinda weird she kinda looks like a chipmunk? but not in a bad way
ghjkHJ she does;; shes cute though
yeah
her color is her haircolor lawl. pastel rose
o, nice
and her animal is deer
so she's basically bambi gotcha
she speaks english, and shes the reaction memes queen. and shes also very smol
awh ;;
alright, we're done with 1/3. is heejin still your favourite?
yepp
cuz we're entering girl crush land
o h
the sixth member is kim lip
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LISTEN YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THIS
she’s cute tho
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of course she is. they're all cute perfect goddesses. i'm noticing a pATTERN HERE
hey, shes mostly a tsundere
well, ngl, she looks like one
sdfgfds
she chose charmander tho 10/10
here’s her amazing mv. her animal appears for 1 second here so lmao good luck. her color is very obvious
white, at long last
the other one
FUCK
SDFGFDSD
red?
yes
that building is aesthetic would hang out there with my weird friends 10/10. the song is odd, but it's nice
i think the song really suits her voice
it does! that's why it works
her animal is an owl
n o i c e
also in one of her vlogs all she does is talk about food. she also keeps the members company while theyre shooting their mvs!! and shes also a reaction meme queen. she sings, but her main strength is dancing
yeah, i can tell
oh right !! she is in the odd eye circle subunit, and these girls have super powers. imma tell you now, the odd eye circle members are in different planes. like, theyre in different dimensions, not the flying planes lol
umm alright..?
anyway, her super power is speed. aaaand i think thats it with kim lip
the next one is a fan favourite. jinsoul
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oof. idk man the blond is weird
oh, is it. i dunno, i feel like it suits her.
hammers in that "created in an underground lab to be flawless" vibe. idk, maybe a darker shade? like a golden blonde?
most people choose her song as their favourite
singing in the rain? is tom holland gonna come in and dance to "umbrella"?
oh my god
if not i'll be disappointed. the song reminds me of minecraft intros lmao. especially that synth part
geT OUT LMAO
the dancing is lewd af tho. so 8/10
well, so was eclipse. girl crush land
is she a necromancer? because those hips kill me and bring me back to life
i knOW. she can sing, rap and dance. triple threat. okay you cant possibly be wrong about her color and animal
uhh blue and fish. idk wot fish but a fish
y e s. its a blue betta fish. she said, and i quote "the blue betta fish is one that needs to be kept alone, because it eats the other fish in her tank. so i'm going to take over the group like that"
i- IS THE ENTIRE SECOND SUBUNIT SASSY
SDFGHGFDSSDFGH shes very oblivious and confused also idk if i should show you this but its hella funny and falls into the dumb blonde stereotype. she acts cute in a live stream and then she just
*that beautiful face plant video*
and at the enD KIM LIP IS LIKE "yes. whats next?" and looks through the comments
i-is she ok
yeah, she just stays there like ten seconds and then lifts her head while laughing. her superpower is teleportation btw. anyway, shes just very oblivious and awkward
nice man
the next member is choerry
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oof, she qt. her color is purple.
yes. she doesnt like cherries btw
of course. why doesn't she like them? they're gud ;; maybe they remind her of all the bad puns she must have had to endure
i- most likely tbh. she prefers her actual name too sdfgfdsasdf. but choerry is a play on her name. cho yerim.
ah, i see
here's her song that takes a very weird turn and supports further the girl crush concept lawl
i expect lewd dancing. wot’s her animal?
a bat
e d g y. they made her eat a cherry. the monsters
i know, the madmen
o, here comes the lewd dancing. oof, that was short, but it was cool. back to... this??
it happens more than once. hmm, its a really nice song tbh
yeah, it was pretty nice
shes the bright, positive one
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and managed to feed a squirrel out of her hand, so shes a princess confirmed
o damn how tall is she. she looks pretty tall in this pic
oh my god all of them are so small i literally cannot cope
;-; pure babies
hmm i think this is old information but the tallest is 165 sdfsGHJKJHJ
o damn
it says here shes 160. p u r e. her super power is plane travelling, like, shes the only one who can meet both kim lip and jinsoul. thats why i told you about the dimension thing
..alright..? this seems pretty redundant, idk. the whole superpower thing and the different planes thing is just odd. what purpose do they serve
well, its basically a whole universe, i guess it ties to the whole story
there's a story? uhh
yeah, but we won't get into that too much. here's odd eye circle's debut song
oh, this song is... something. i could live without the weird distorted voice. fucc yes more lewd dancing. well, that was trippy.
anyway, the third subunit is called yyxy, and it has "fall from eden" as their concept
o
the first member from this subunit is yves, pronounced as eve but it gotta be fancy y'know
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oo, noice. please for the love of god tell me her color is white
no one's color is white
well, it’s not a color ;D
ug h. anyway, here’s her song.
hecc yes more lewd dancing
omf
the song is.. odd. GET OUTTA HERE HER COLOR IS TOTALLY WHITE. EVERYTHING HERE I WHITE. SHE WEARS ALL WHITE.
:( her apple is burgundy
what. is that- is that her color
yeah
...i quit.
fgfdghjkghjGHJ
well, that was something
her name is eve, so people speculate the song and mv are about her living a normal life after falling from eden y'know. anyway, shes the mom friend #2
o, interesting pFF
she was very awkward at the beginning, when she first was introduced
awh ;;
and her animal is a swan
AND HER COLOR ISN'T WHITE GET OUTTA HERE
fgfdsdfg shes also pretty savage now that she isnt as shy, but she takes care of the members, since shes one of the older membersGHJKJHGHJK
wholesome
shes very cute i like her uwu
the next one is an actual animu waifu. her name is chuu
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i-
and she is the full of cuteness member
yeah i can teLL. the second image scraped my stone heart
yes, she softens everyone. here’s her mv, and the other girl is yves. and chuu is more or less in love with her. lesbian icon
alexa ur doing the thing, but reverse
SHES LITERALLY STALKING YVES AND GIVING HER AN APPLE AND THE SONG IS ABOUT ROMANTIC LOVE get outta here
ALL OF THESE BANDS ARE BASICALLY FAMILIES YALL SHIPPING THEM IS INCEST
ASDFGFDSDFGHJ but yves just shot a heart at her
it's a music video smh
hey, im not saying shes gay for yves in real life, just in, like, the universe theyre building
ah, i see. the choreography is gud. and the whole music video is nice. and the song is nice too. alright, what's her color
peach
do these people only know red and blue variations. THERE ARE OTHER COLORS OUT THERE
her animal is penguin, hence her posing with a penguin plushie in that photo
awh ;;
and her fruit is strawberry. she also sang a kids show ost before she became an idol :( and the other members make her act cute sometimes in front of the camera because everyone loves her. take dis
:'c
when she does the winking thing she stops and asks "why am i doing this..." and the others are just "because its cutE"
s-STONE COLD I AM S T O N E C O L D
anyway, yes, we all love chuu
we have two members left, keep your head in the game
i'm in it to win it
the second to last member is go won
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speaking of winning, apparently she already did
she is a real life doll- oh my god alex
yet another qt what is new. cute dolls. cute talented dolls e v e r y w h e r e
i remember her song just because of the way she sings "baby" there
o
*check out “One&Only” yall*
ah, i see. some nice cinematography here. she has an interesting voice
shes mostly a rapper
yeah, i can picture that. that was a pretty nice song
her color is eden green :3
n o i c e
her animal is butterfly and her fruit is pineapple
but does she like it on pizza tho >> that is the question
she's kinda cold, but shes pretty oblivious, the staff messed with her saying that "adam" is her stage name (adam translates to "small" in korean) and she actually believed them and she didnt get the joke either affdsdfg
;-; god bless
shes pretty savage tho, we have three so far
oof
she is olivia hye
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and she does not appreciate olive jokes
she's pretty 0^0
she is~
wot's her personality
shes very blunt and she seems like someone that might succeed at being a famous blogger
o damn
she always speaks her mind. i haven’t really seen her play around, but that doesn’t mean i don’t find her funny sdfgfsdfg
pff the mom friend
hmm, she doesnt really take care of the others, shes the second youngest
o rlly
but she does boast about how shes the only one without a fear of heights jasdfjks
pfff alright, hmu with her song
her song is my favourite
*”Egoist” ftw*
s m o o t h. yeah, this is a nice song
ikr !!
aaand more lewd dancing the world is kind to me today
they never give it up
wot's her color and animal
her color is gray, her animal is wolf and her fruit is plum
o damn
here’s their song~
this is hype af. this song is nice too but it has odd parts
i feel like the quality of their music increased with time. the first songs are also nice but you can tell these ones are better put together
well, it makes sense
it has been two years yes asdfdsdfg
o o f
here's a predebut song. the first ever with all of them, but not their debut the intro and the chorus are the best parts ngl
that's a lot of idols fam
eh, 12 isnt that rare. BRRRRRRRRRAH
where the esketit at. that was a pretty good predebut song, all things considered. they fit a bit of everything in there
yep, here’s their debut song
this one's trippy. ah, that's why it's called "hi high" they're saying hi to me, and i'm high after watching it. UOUOUOUAAAHH
I ONLY LISTEN TO MUSIC WITH MEANINGFUL LYRICS
HLBJLNKBJLNKBKLN
do you remember any of them as your favourite or did everything already vanish
i like chuu and the last one but i think the first is still my fave
oo alright, i see. any last thoughts?
well-managed for a 12 idol group, nice choreographies (& lots of lewd dancing >>), plenty of good songs, gud stuff overall, 10/10. 11/10 for the UOUOUOUOOAAAHHH
noicE
alexa here!! oof, this took so long to put together;; also if haseul sees this please marry me goddess ily
i hope you enjoy this post, even though its a little messy!! pop a little message in our ask box too, it’ll make our day~ i hope everyone has a nice day or evening!!
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