#this isnt like. a total desperate cry. i just have no energy to work on my projects involving them. but the thoughts persist in vague ways-

[telesodalite]

Hey, uh? Any scavengers fans wanna share their fav headcanons?

[corruptedconfessions]

hey there! could i request a yandere dragon bakugou (hcs or scenario, ur choice!) where he comes back to his den to find his darling missing? he leaves to go look for her and finds her on her way back to the den with a bag in tow, full of shiny objects for his hoard. she went back to her home, perhaps it was a cabin of sorts where she was keeping the items should she need to sell them for money, (1/2)

abbut now that she’s with him she doesn’t exactly need them anymore and decides he would appreciate having it more? for the plot (and angst) maybe she got a little scratched up during the trek and is sporting a few cuts or bruises when he finds her. i absolutely love your writing, and if this is too much i totally understand, you can ignore it! hope you’re doing alright!!! (2/2) 

Thank you so much! And thank you for your patience im sorry this took me forever ToT

I did a little bit of both! I hope you dont mind. 

-When Bakugou comes back to the den from a hunt and finds you gone he is going to be p i s s e d

-He thought the two of you had finally gotten past this little game where you would run away and make him have to come chase you down, but clearly he hadn’t nailed it into that stupid brain of yours enough

-Don’t you know how dangerous it is out in those woods without him to protect you? A fragile little thing like you would get squashed in seconds without him there to protect you from everything...including youself in some cases

-Originally he is stewing as he abandons his kill to stalk out into the forest to find you, already thinking of punishments to unleash on you once he drags your ass back to the den, stewing about ways to make sure they stick this time

-All that melts away after about 10 minutes

-In the past he has always immediately been able to find you, your clumsy human foot steps or scent always immediately alerting him to where you went and where you are. Even when he plays with you and lets you run longer to get that energy out and show you how hopeless it really is to run for him he’s never had you out of his sight for more than 5 minutes during any escape attempt

-But this time you’re /gone/  you must have left near immediately after he had left you, curled up and sleeping peacefully in his nest, he couldn’t hear or smell you anywhere near by

-Throws this boy into a complete panic when he realizes that you could be anywhere you could be hurt or bleeding or dead for all he knew! 

-Normally he likes to hunt you down in his fully human or only partially shifted forms, to really show off and rub it in your face how he doesnt even need to be at his best to hunt your wimpy ass down

-This time though he is fully shifted in seconds, taking to the sky, scanning desperately for any sign of you

-It may take a little bit with how small you are in comparison to the forest but he will find you no matter what it takes. 

-When he finally spots you, stumbling through the forest with a dumb little bag that was clearly too heavy for your fragile little arms to be carrying by the way you kept stumbling around was any indication. 

-He immediately nosedives down towards you, a terrifying sight to see, even when you do know exactly who the dragon is and that he probably isnt trying to eat you

-He shifts in the arm, damn near toppling you over as he lands right next to you just to immediately scoop you up in his arms, clutching you like a life line as he immediately starts rubbing up against you

-He is not crying, damn it

-It only takes him a moment or two rubbing against you, covering you with his scent again before he realizes that you are scratched up and dirty, causing him to bristle in even more anger than he already had been in

-Immediately chews you out, lecturing you as he takes the bag from you, carrying both you and the bag back to his den, ranting and lecturing you the whole way, pretending like you both don’t notice how he is still shaking

-”What the fuck were you thinking, dumbass?! You could’ve gotten hurt! I don’t have time to look after your pathetic little human ass!” 

-He’ll turn bright red when you tell him whats in the bag and why you risked getting in trouble with him to go fetch it. Immediately your lecturing angry dragon boyfriend will be a blushing pouting mess as he takes you into his den

-”You should’ve told me...Idiot. I could’ve taken you.”

-He stares longingly at the bag as he sets it down, his instincts clearly calling for him to root through the bag and add the collection to his horde, to make sure to put his mates gifts in plain sight so everyone will see how much his mate cares for him, how perfect and beautiful his mate is

-His mate was so perfect she brought him more stuff for his horde, perfect stuff, and he was going to show that off

-He needed to return the favor for his mate, get them shiney things to cover their body in to show that he owns them, to show off that they had taken the first step in courting him and he had returned the favor they wanted him just as much as he wanted them 

-But he knows that his mate was injured in their travels and first and foremost he needed to take care of that

-He’s surprisingly tender as he scoops you up, tsking in annoyance at how filthy you were

-for someone who lives in the forest the man sure doesn’t like dirt, especially on you

-he’ll wrap you up tight in his arms and carry you to the nearby hotspring, demanding to clean you and take care of you instead of hovering annoyingly close like he usually does

-You better get use to it he is going to be clingy as hell for awhile, if not indefinitely now that you had taken the final step in courting him

-You had gone out of your way to court him in the dragon way (it doesn’t even cross his mind it was an accident and you didn’t know you were just being thoughtful) half of him wonders if he should wonder down to a human village and learn how to court you in the human way too, just to be fair

-Or he could just ask you. That would be less fun though. You surprised him it was only fair he showed he was just as good (if not better) of a mate as you were. 

“K-katsuki!” You flushed squirming on his lap as the dragon growled down at you, easily holding you still with one hand as the other slid down your calf, cleaning off the dirt and scowling at the scratches and bruises that littered that area. It had been a slow process, the dragon insisting on inspecting you from top to bottom, starting with your head and working his way down, scowling and grumbling as he spent extra time at each and every little scrape or bruise he discovered as if they had personally insulted him. “This is why you should never leave anywhere without me, stupid. You’re too fragile to wonder off on your own.” he growled and grumbled as he moved to the other leg, being remarkably gentle and careful with his grip and touch on your wounds as he washed that leg too. “I know...I just wanted to surprise you.” You pouted back down at him, biting down any argument over tiny cuts and being able to take care of yourself since you knew the dragon was still on very volatile ground. He may have chosen to forgive you thanks to your surprise gift but that could change at any moment if you made the wrong move. “Yeah well...” he huffed pouting slightly in response, grumbling to himself as he finally set down your leg his hand moving to rest back on your hips, lifting you up with ease, ignoring your flustered squealing as your bare form was lifted out of the water. “Quiet down.” he huffed rolling his eyes as he turned you around, grabbing your legs and forcing them around his torso as he pulled you close, hands sliding down to hold your ass as he held you up, pushing you against his chest as he relaxed in the hot water. “Honestly I’ll never understand you humans and your insistence at being covered. I know what you look like anyway.” He huffed softly leaning his head back against the rocks that lined the spring, tension relaxing from his body. He finally had you here tucked into his arms, safe and sound, and he could relax as hot water lapped away any knots and tension that still clung to his body.  

[2to3now4]

2/16/18

this dream unsettled me all day after i had it so i wrote about it and drafted it right before i went to sleep, although now it’s not quite as scary as it seemed at the time

only thing i remember from my dream was that it started out with me playing ovw. i was in a deathmatch game and i absolutely wasnt playing to win at all, i was kind of just dicking around and saying hi to people and emoting and stuff. i ended up befriending a couple other people in the match and one of them was this one dude who ended up getting... like... really attached to me. 

he didnt want me to stop paying attention to him or even stop playing the game at all and got frustrated when i said i had to log off. got off my computer feeling content with how fun the past couple of games had been and i took in my surroundings and i was back in my childhood home. again. cant ever dream about living anywhere other than the house i grew up in. never once dreamed about my current apartment. anyway this wasnt like... any surprise for me, it always feels natural when i dream about my old house, like im always still supposed to be living there. 

so i go about the rest of my day and do the shit i need to do, couple hours pass and im talking to my mom, i look at my phone and im like. getting texts from the guy. from ovw. and im obviously very weirded out because i definitely didnt give him my number so im like “uhhhh haha what the fuck’s going on!” 

he confesses he’d been stalking me and my sister (who doesnt live with me or anything so she didnt physically pop up in my dream he just offhandedly mentioned her) and he’d been collecting as much information on us as he possibly could over like the past couple months or something. he was obsessed and.. like.. iirc he was a photographer and was desperate to do a photoshoot with us and “capture our beauty” or something which was like... the cherry on top of creepy. 

he texts me he’s “on his way” and at this point i think i’m like full blown panicking. i tell my mom and ask her if the doors are locked and she tells me she thinks they are. i look out the dining room window and see his car pull up on our gravel road and he gets out and makes his way to our little wood sidewalk and i’m definitely panicking now. i run over to the front door to double check if it’s locked and it fucking isnt. it’s wide open. i manage to lock it just as he’s stepping up on our porch and i think he like... put his face + hands up against the glass and told me that he was gonna do whatever he could to find a way inside. i remember him being kind of tall and gawky and scruffy looking and he had a big oversized work coat on and he just... radiated bad energy. 

you ever seen the thriller movie hush? this was some hush shit. trapped in my own house in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by forest, no next door neighbors, and a dangerous, unfamiliar man circling around the place searching for a way inside. 

i rushed over to my mom and grabbed my phone to call 911 and it was like... deformed. its shape had been warped and it was completely unusable. asked my mom where her phone was and she wasnt really like... responding entirely? she was kind of just staring dead ahead and seemed really foggy. eventually i found her phone in her room on my own, which was her super old white blackberry instead of the phone she has currently in real life which, now that i think about it, is kind of weird because i think i also still had long hair in this dream too...? and this is a dream centered around my childhood home like Wow i CANNOT let go of the past this is so funny. anyway. 

i think im crying a little at this point so i ask her to call 911 instead because i didnt want to “““forget our address””” during the call or mess up in any way because of how shaken up i was, i dont know. and she’s like... almost entirely unresponsive. she’s mumbling something but her lips are barely moving and she’s gone totally dead-eyed with a thousand yard stare and i’m absolutely losing my mind with fear. the guy calls me through her phone which is still in my hand and he tells me that hes. like. underneath the floorboards. and that hes coming in. 

which now that i think about it is really silly and actually kind of funny because he couldve just broken a window or something but instead now hes going to crawl under our house and break through the foundation and up INTO our actual floor like alright man you do you. make things harder for yourself. but anyway yeah the dream ends there and i woke up in a cold sweat, and i was thankful that it was over because i really didnt want to see what happened next. sometimes i’ll have a really good dream and i’ll wake up halfway through it and then try to ease myself back into sleep so i can find out what happens next, and this was not one of those times 

i seem to have a lot of dreams about home invasions. i’ve noticed that’s a recurring theme.

[pressednpeeled]

5 ways rap has influenced your life.

     “She's dead! She's gone forever, and YOU killed her!” cried out an angry old hip-hop head at a young man cruising by bumping new music labeled “mumble rap.” In This colorful age of constant change, there is no room for ignorance and discrimination of art, it is all after all, art. Leaning on being a sport today, rap and hip hop communities have divided  themselves by confusing themselves with an old school new school divide. Old school considering “good hip hop and rap” to only be music done by the pioneers, new school being more attached to a feel or vibe of the musical context. While many rap veterans did drop the first wave of  influence, nothing will ever go unchanged, especially social expression outlets.That being said we have to understand that the older fans relate so loyally to older music, because it paints memories of a very alive, important time in their lives.

     In this listicle I will cover the significance of raps influence on American culture.  I will go over some history of hip-hop, and its political influence that has influenced the nation culture deeply. We will touch on rap not only being a genre, but a verb as well. We will cover it's subcultures and the competitive side of the art that has kept this genres heart beating.

     The corporate world catalyzed the culture into economical prevalence, in turn officially commercialized rap. With rap on the rise due somewhat to corporate influence, the topics began to degrade and became financially arrogant. The newest artists were getting views based on flashy appearances and being antagonistically controversial, not for honed skills.  Like a blessing in disguise, this allowed bad examples to be displayed and criticized, suddenly,we were able to truly appreciate skilled Artists again. One could understand how the older generations opinions became  judgmental, then stagnant as they fell into the generational cycle and fulfilled their destiny. We must also consider that older listeners are generally less familiar with technological advances and therefore decline to discover newer rhyme that isn't negatively publicized.

     When Nas label the genre “dead” in 2006 many older fans were confused: they simply couldn't accept the fact that culture (and along with culture, music) does not stay the same forever; it outgrows us; it outruns us. Furthermore sub genres that confuse older crowds are what make up a lot of prevalent music today. That being said, rap has had some awful productions in recent years, experimenting with new technology, motivations, styles and of course corporate influence. The record labels saw financial opportunities and began taking over artistic moves and filtering genuine content as if they designed the artists. As time goes on new artists emerge that remind us what great hip hop or rap are.

     Here are 5 reasons Hip-Hop is alive, well, and actually doing better than ever before.

Rap is a verb.                                                                                                           performance, a sport, an activity a past time, rap has been considered all of these things at some point or another. It was a way to express or deliver a message to others that conveys energy intelligence, and creativity. Writer Doran Rosenberg talks about how hip hops basics evolved culturally and organically. People rapped for the love of expression, to explore uncharted artistic depths, and to paint a beautiful portrait with words. Then unfortunately Rap was exploited by corporations seeking financial success over artistic quality. This is the main reason the genre has struggled lyrically over the last few years with the addition of some psycho social implications that began to shift the reason artists began making music in the first place. While people began wanting to do it for the glory, riches and fame,  the love for the craft and unique self expression became unpopular sadly.

           .https://www.elitedaily.com/music/music-news/critics-are-crying-the-                 decline-of-rap-is-hip-hop-really-dead.

     2. Rap is a part of america's political history and a beacon for social issues

     Rap is not only is an artistic venue, but also serves as a political beacon for inner city  communities to express things going on that the rest of the world, doesn't see. On theodysseyonline.com Bailey Marshal speaks on the old rap coming back threw new, rappers like Kendrick Lamar, who proved rap is merely a reflection of society and a true form of art.

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/why-hip-hop-isnt-dead

      Lamar is one of the few rappers in a very very long time to use the power of politics threw his works. Comparable to N.W.A. in the way they reflected on police brutality and social problems when racial injustice in Ghetto communities began to catch attention during the 1980′s. Most of the country had no idea these issues were happening until  N.W.A made The problems public in 1988 with the song “Fuck The Police,” loud, offensive and boisterous but these Hero were actually doing a great job of exposing police racial profiling African and Hispanics Americans in the inner cities. It wasn't until the 1991 police beating of Rodney King that was broadcaster that these issues had gained more attention, later. Hip Hop gave us a voice that we could raise when the racial discrimination was a bigger problem, setting the beginning mark of a revolutionary time in history for many Americans. Americans cultural involvement in rap is deep rooted within freedom of speech and the reform of racial and social injustice. So why how could it die when it has nurtured the american society in so many social ways.

3. Rap will live on because of the social side of it.

      Rappers have not always been the best role models, and beginning in 2000 the confusion of rap started with the transition of the era that affected the sport almost totally. Overly Explicit shock material or irrelevant topics began arising to only receive attention as quickly as possible. While some music did seem outrageous we still must understand that some artist were only attempting to convey intense strong feelings into words, not worried about making the listeners uncomfortable or offended, like Eminem. Many rappers around this time also fueled career off rivalry like Soldier boy, and 50 cent, taking shots at any already successful artist simply to stir up fan bases of the known artist to create controversy about them,  generating free advertisement for them. These rappers seemed desperate for financial success and fame even though some did already have tasteful artistry to them. Angered by the perpetuated success of some of these braggadocios bonafide clowns, slowly, but surely the minds that Tupac Shakur spoke of, began to spark up, into the world. These heroes began checking new foo foo artist, reminding us of the important values of this poetic craft.

     Kendrick Lamar single handedly reignite the passion for hip hop with a message to rappers of today to get up and realize the loss of control within the industry as an artists. Kendrick re raised the bar in the song “Control”. He compares himself to the greats and calls out all the top players in today's hip hop industry and even a few friends on the song with him!. Stating that we must not forget that hip hop is a sport and everyone should know, right now,  hes the king of it.

“I heard the barbershops be in great debates all the time, 'Bout who's the best MC: Kendrick, Jigga, and Nas, Eminem, André 3000; the rest of y'all new n*ggas just new n*ggas, don't get involved! And I ain't rockin' no more designer shit! White T’s and Nike Cortez, this red Corvettes anonymous,I'm usually homeboys with the same n*ggas I’m rhymin' with, But this is hip-hop, and them n*ggas  should know what time it is, And that goes for Jermaine Cole, Big K.R.I.T., Wale, Pusha T, Meek Millz, A$AP Rocky, Drake,Big Sean, Jay Electron', Tyler, Mac Miller, I got love for you all, but I'm tryna murder you n*ggas! Tryna make sure your core fans never heard of you n*ggas They don't wanna hear not one more noun or verb from you n*ggas.

What is competition? I'm tryna raise the bar high!”

       This is important to understand because the craft is still so sought after now by more people than ever. we could never dismiss it because we have grown to love it as a nation just like we love our controversy and sports.

4. Rap is poetry

      Teachers refer to Shakespeare in school to understand language. As time passes we find more monumental lyricist like 2pac. Pacs impact on the world went as far as schools quoting and studying his works to teach,  like we have before with Shakespeare. Colleges around the world offers entire courses on Tupac Shakur's work today. In this article by Micah Mattix, he talks about how rap is not generally considered poetry because it's grammatically incorrect and it “has to have music behind it”. He goes on to say that rap is less serious than poetry and is more profane. All these things said are entirely false and are refuted in the comments by multiple people defending the poetic craft. Comparing other artist like Beck and Bob Dylan to poetry, writing it out in sonnet form to show that it reflections of poetry. Consider the following words from Beck:

Walking to the other side

With the Devil trying to take my mind

And my soul’s just a silhouette

On the ashes of a cigarette

Illusions never fake their lives

Trick cards fool the eyes

Carry zeros over till they add up

Bury tears in the chapters you shut

Sometimes the jail can’t chain the cell

And the rain’s too plain to tell

All alone by a barren well

Scarecrow’s only scaring himself

Consider the following words from Bob Dylan:

In a little hilltop village, they gambled for my clothes

I bargained for salvation an’ they gave me a lethal dose

I offered up my innocence and got repaid with scorn

“Come in,” she said, “I’ll give you shelter from the storm”

https://www.theamericanconservative.com/prufrock/is-rap-poetry/

     5. Rap could never expire because its saved on file

       Hip-hop has been influencing pop culture for years. As lingo becomes more socially accepted, the crossover appeal is inevitable for rap to get the recognition it deserves.

       In 2000 Lil’ Wayne coined the word “bling bling” to the oxford dictionary, forever validating his permanent mark on the rap game. Then the next year Beyonce added the word “bootylicious” to the dictionary. Although Snoop Dogg was the originator of the word in 1992, destiny's child took the term to the top with the release of their song that still is one of their highest selling hits to date. Unless someone can destroy every single copy of the dictionary physical and digital then maybe they can put an end to this rap thing but unless that happens hip hop will be right here just like revolutions in history textbooks are. https://www.xxlmag.com/news/2016/05/hip-hop-words-in-oxford-english-dictionary/

      Rap is an art form and when is put on display its subject to judgment and an interpretation from the side that is appreciative and the side that isn't. Our parents aren't totally wrong about new bad music, but they need to understand hip hop and rap will never die, for it has only began forming major sub genres like rock formed punk, and jazz formed acid. More and more people are becoming involved in the rap culture every day. The culture involves itself within our society more and more everyday . Weather it be politics or social issues, rap ingrains itself into us organically and electronically. The concept is comparable to saying that singing is dying, or comedy is dying, it just doesn't make any sense at all. Hip hop and rap will remain strong in our societies all over the world, continuing to cycle through history as it has since it  began.  Because rap culture is socially tied to us it creates our history, our texts and our lives. it is a self sufficient competitive art and therefore will forever evolve with new topics,  problems, and people. Music is simply a reflection of the high energy human existence.  regardless of its spelling, and bold topics, hip hop and rap will remain abrasive to political foul play, acting as a beacon for untapped issues that the genres people will never let it slide by unnoticed.So to all those embittered old hip hop heads that idolized artist they grew up, please understand that you don't understand, change in inevitable and if it wasn't, everything would be the same. Variety is the spice of life my friend, until you understand that, please go find a cave to cry in, But remember,  “I ain’t mad atcha”-Tupac Shakure. 

[norman-reedus-gossip]

Last Bulk and its a long one

~~mod~~ everything else concerning this topic will be kicked to the modblog. ill try to add to the comments today. i feel like i got ran over so i may not be on at all. sorry for slacking on you and for probably being a world class asshole today. please keep it medium.

Anon: What kind of woman ALLOWS “her boyfriend” to make her hideout so she’s not seen with him? What kind of man DOES that? Be happy for them all you want. I think they look and act like morons. As “adorable ” as people think he is , he seems lately like a total douchebag. Good thing all the fucking booze he consumes gives him the balls to “allow” her be photographed with him. And how fucking desperate does one have to be to let themselves be treated like that? Typical Hollywood. I give this a week.

Anon:Okay, NOW do you think he will make an announcement on Jimmy Fallon about DK? Or that Jimmy will mention it? ~~mod~~  dont know dont care. as long as we get some couch action im good.

Anon:No new stories talk about the trip to italy right before dk dumped pacey. They dont talk about how long nr knew pacey before sky. Wonder how much that cost

Anon:I’m so sad mod….. 😢 Twd’s cast are finally coming to my country and i thinks that is very hard for they bring Norman because he is very expensive…. I mean, Norman is so rich, why he charge that much??! 😢😢 (Sorry for the english) ~~mod~~ aww maybe its not the money but more if he has time. where are they coming? you english is awesome

ahauntedfool: My two cents. I feel badly for disappointed fans who have invested so much time, energy, and possibly even money, on their beloved celebrity, only to see him acting in a way they do not agree with. That must be very hard for them. Maybe I can offer some hope and positivity?I believe no two relationships are alike, and none are black and white. Who really knows everything about their relationship besides them? But it does seem like they are together, and if that is the case I hope they make each other happy. I truly mean that. Love is not something we can plan for, but life is short and happiness is everything. I am still a fan of N, I enjoy many of his films and photographs, his charisma is pleasing, he makes me laugh and he makes me smile. There are some things I don’t like about him, but that’s how it is with people. We are all complex and flawed individuals, and in our imperfections there is beauty. I don’t know much about D yet, but I think I’ll check out her work, watch a few of her films and read some interviews. Maybe I’ll learn something about her that inspires me in some way. With that being said, I think they are an attractive couple, and I love seeing him smile like that. They appear happy in those photos and I hope they are. Maybe this relationship will be good for both of them. Oftentimes we learn from our partners how to be better people.

Anon: Wait for the other shoe to drop on fallon, the baby shoe, lol. He has an extra 0 on his paycheck now, so dk can stay in ny and give up her career while nk goes to ga and cons to keep her in designer duds and pap shots shopping and fashion shows. She can laugh with jdms wife about ppl who pay $$$$ to wait in line for a pic, and we get crappy cgi on twd ~~mod~~ come on the deer really wasnt that bad, if you squint it almost looked real

awesomebrokenheartuniverse: What the fucking fuck??? This is beyond baffling.  The public make out session.  Even as a teenager I didn’t make out on the street for 30 min.  They clearly wanted to be seen.  Have we been fooled by NR with some fake persona all these years?  Has he drastically changed due to DKs influence?  Is he whipped?  Is he tired of keeping it a secret and overjoyed to let it all hang out?  Does she have dirt on him and forcing this on him (sounds crazy but ya never know)? Is this a juvenile shit show for publicity to benefit both of them?  So many questions!  Maybe it’s not our business but when they flaunt themselves like this they are kinda asking for it.  This is like reality show in your face over the top attention whoring.  I feel embarrassed for them.  At least she is age appropriate. I don’t know a lot about DK, but the opinions here are largely unfavorable.  JJ seems like a decent guy.  Why would he stick with her 10 yrs if she’s such bad news?   I keep remembering a quote from AL where he said something like “the longer I know N, the more he is an enigma.”  NR seems totally all over the place to me right now.      

Anon: There’s a video of them kissing now. ~~mod~~ ok

Anon: Hey mod! Sorry to keep adding to this but I’m SO aggravated. Now she’s acting like CS posting pics from his apartment. An her fans are saying to stop bringing up Norman an respect her privacy to people. She doesn’t want privacy! Hence the photo! An the photos taken of them on the street the other night for a hour. If I’m w/ my bf I dont stop and post on SM things from his house. She wants everyone to know she finally got Norman. When will this “relationship” end 😭 personally he deserves better

Anon: Why would Norman be so open about his relationship? This PDA doesn’t fit to him, he never showed so much of his relationship, making out on the street, like in the video it looks like they were making a show. They just stood in the same street walked around kissed hugged just to make a show for the pap, my guess they called him, don’t know why

Anon: Re: the “lie.” Doesn’t it look like Norman’s reps said “friends” because of JJ? Timeline: Pic of Norman and DK at the car looking friendly with story about vacation. Rep said “friends.” Weeks later: picture of JJ kissing and snuggling with another woman at a restaurant. Stories: He’s moved on!! Two - three days later, Norman/DK are completely public. The “lie” was so JJ could say he moved on first. It had nothing to do with manipulating Norman’s fans. Anon: Daily mail has just released an article on NR and DK confirming their relationship and they’ve got a few new pics in there and in one of them NR is looking directly at the camera. I guess we know for sure it was planned and a bit staged now.

Anon: Mod - this was an absolute publicity stunt but I don’t understand why. It makes him look like the biggest possible lying fake asshole alive so why would he want that image? I’m secretly hoping this is some kind of early April Fools day joke.

Anon: Mod when do you think NR and DK became more than just friends? ~~ mod~~ would you be offended if i said i have no idea becasue i dont care enough about them as a couple to even guess. sorry if i sound like a jerk im still not feeling well

Anon: I hope Norman doesn’t think we’re just going to “get over it”? It doesn’t work that way. There is a difference between lying about who you ARE and just simply having a girlfriend. (I won’t even go into how fake SHE is) You Lied to the people that supported you Norman. This isn’t just jealous fangirls. This doesn’t just go away in a few weeks.~~mod~~ im sure he knows it isnt just gonna go away in a few days

Anon: Woke up today with tears in my eyes. Every day I used to go check out all he cool Norman/Daryl fan art on instagram. Now I can’t even look at him.~~mod~~ dont cry anon we can find you someone else to look at.

Jan: Listen up To those deeply upset and disturbed by Norman’s recent actions, please read this - Nothing in your life has actually changes NOTHING! You still breath the same air, work at the same place, hang with the same friends and are surrounded by people that love and care about you in REAL LIFE. You have never, nor will you ever, know the real man behind Norman Reeds and thats probably for the best. All that has happened is that the fantasy you have of him in your head is altered, but you have the power and control to change that narrative back at any point, back to thinking he is kind and sweet and honourable and all the other things that gave you comfort and joy, use him for whatever purpose you want - because I have news for you as a fan/consumer of his brand he is just USING you. He is clever, he will smile and be nice as pie if you are paying for his time, (he is a professional actor), what he is actually like once the show is over, behind closed doors, is probably a very different story that really would shock and upset you. He is part of an ugly dark industry and his values are probably way off the mark to what any of us would consider acceptable. The clues are all around us, the fake hollywood friends he has, the partying showbiz life he leads, his love of attention and the limelight, the blind after blind about his shitty behaviour. It does upset me to see people defending him with the best of intentions, when they have no clue that he doesn’t deserve defending, he is surrounded by wealth and privilege and I highly doubt he cares one bit what faceless avatars on the internet say about him when he is home surrounded by his millions of dollars and fake narcissistic hollywood friends. Me, I love Daryl and I will always love Daryl, he is a real sweetheart and the subject of many a fantasy, Norman not so much, I could never fantasise about someone like him -a shallow and highly privileged actor who can have any beautiful woman he desires at the drop of a hat, and knows it. His priorities are clearly material things, this set up relationship with DK that will be played out in the public eye will just be linked to and part of that agenda in some weird way…(I do have my theories as to why he is so keen to play along with it, but best kept to myself) So seriously people go back to your Daryl (or nice sweet Norman) fantasises… Whatever helps you sleep at night…

Anon: You know what’s even worse than finding out he’s a lying sneaking jerk? That he let her troll his fandom for the whole year. He let us try to defend him the whole time when it was all true. It just shows that his fans don’t really mean anything to him. He didn’t care that she was playing with us and mocking us. It’s just so unbelievable that he is the complete opposite of what he made us believe.

Anon: sorry but I feel betrayed. And before I get jumped on it’s not jealousy or that he can’t have a private life, it’s about thinking one thing about Norman and admiring that person for so long then suddenly finding out that it was all a lie. He made us think that he was our friend but he’s not. he’s laughing at us behind the scenes watching how we buy into the image that he made us think was the real him. it’s not him now. he’s a phony. anyone want walker stalker tickets? don’t want to meet him now ~~mod~~ no need to be sorry anon lots of people are feeling all kinds of way right now. i hear craiglist is a great place to sell those

Anon: God Mod it just breaks my heart to see how fake he looks. Allowing himself to be papped is something I never thought he would do. I admired Norman for being down to earth and real. Where is that man now? He’s gone. He sold out. He’s not who he claims to be. Honest? Lol nope. So this is the real Norman we have been tricked into supporting? He looks just as fake as we know she is. It’s so sad and disheartening and I never thought it would happen to him. He’s just like all the rest. :( So sad.

Anon: Wonder how this will work when he starts filming in May will she go to Georgia she doesn’t seem the country girl

Anon: Mod why do think NR’s reps have the statements that they were “just friends” 3 weeks ago only for them to walk done the street holding hands and kissing now? Do you think NR’s reps didn’t know about the relationship? Or he didn’t consult with them before going public? Or do you think it was all planned? I’m just really confused about the whole thing!

Anon: Sorry…this is a long one… People seem to focus on others being upset because he lied.  But I think a lot of people are upset for 2 main reasons.  One, they really don’t like DK.  It is hard to swallow watching someone you like, date someone you hate.  I had a good guy friend date a girl that the rest of us LOATHED.  She was just a horrible person and we were all so disappointed when he started dating her.  When we asked him why, he just replied, “well, she is not like that towards me”.  Um..ok…so since she’s “nice” to you, it’s ok that she is a a-hole to everyone else?  It lasted all of 4 months, but I just remember we were all so disgusted.  So, anyway, I think that plays a big part in the fan hate.  Fans love Norman and think he is wonderful/nice/kind/good to his friends and fans and they can’t understand how he could fall for someone who is the opposite of all those things.  The second reason is the cheating.  Let’s face it, this didn’t start AFTER she split from JJ.  We would be naive to believe that.  Personally, I think it started during the filming of SKY.  They are together constantly, in the middle of nowhere, I am sure they got very close.  Even if there was nothing physical, they could have been having an emotional affair…which is often worse than physical.  Although we can argue that with his schedule and her being with JJ, they didn’t actually see each other a lot after filming SKY was over, they still could have been texting and calling, thereby continuing the connection and closeness that was formed during filming.  Looking back, I can’t help but wonder if someone DID see them hooking up in a NYC bar (before the break-up with JJ).  If they did in fact have an emotional connection, add a lot of alcohol to that and you can definitely lose control for a minute.  Obviously, this is my own speculation, but no matter when the physical aspect of their relationship developed, I truly believe, the affair started long before it.  As for the people talking about a possible pregnancy.  I can see it.  Even though Norman is pushing 50 and may not want a baby, as some people pointed out, it may not be up to him.  There are many ways for a woman to “accidentally” get pregnant.  Someone, I think it was PR wife, mentioned that DK’s star faded long ago.  She is definitely someone who will do anything to bring attention to herself.  Well, having NR’s baby would certainly bring the spot light.  It may be far fetched but I think DK is really sketchy and I would not put it past her.  I guess only time will tell if there is a baby as well as how long this thing will last.  We shall see…

Anon:I gave a heads up months ago that Diane had a plan and that she and Norman were playing out a fantasy as if they were living their film “Sky”. Health issues included. But guess what comes next (not the end) ;)

Stephanie Kumke: Maybe it´s not DK in the photo, but come on, a naked bully with lights on it with the message “ Waking  up to good News”… ~~mod~~ maybe she got a job that wasnt in Europe

Anon: Ya’ll need to be realistic. Daryl isn’t the cash cow of TWD anymore. Not sure if no one sees this but the ratings last week dropped. Why weren’t they higher? I mean Daryl was in it a lot yet they weren’t as good as the week before. I’ve noticed whenever Carol and the Kingdom are on the ratings go up. Seems like she’s more of a cash cow now. She makes more viewers tune in. So I really don’t get when people say Daryl is the No 1 cash cow. It’s not true. It may have been years back, but not anymore

Anon: It disgusts the shit out of me when I see people support their relationship and are happy and even say DK is gorgeous. Wtf NOTHING on this woman is gorgeous. She’s manipulative, attention whore and snobby. I can’t believe his fans (not all of them) support her. She’s the worst nightmare. Norman went down to her level. She is unsympathetic to fans, Norman clearly isn’t the man he claimed to be. Not sure if I’m more disappointed or disgusted because he played all of us the whole time for his image

Anon: I think some people are not getting it…NR didnt own anyone anything but he was not coherent and yeah he deceived and lied when he said he doesn’t like cheaters and loves honest people. Regardless of course he have the right to date who the fuck he wants. not my problem. now the way he did it, for someone that calls himself honest is very questionable when you can see CLEARLY how this pics were staged. When you stage pics like that and you claimed for years being the opposite of course  people are going to question who you are and who was the person they have been a fan off all this years. People defended him exactly from this behavior. People defended him when people called him sell out and asshole and manwhore and honestly he just proves the others right. This have nothing to do with DK this have to do with him as a person and how he carries himself. He didnt assume her before because he was sticking his dick somewhere else too and the other kick him to the curb.

dandelioncherokee : Interesting. Norman and Diane are not looking AT EACH OTHER in one single picture. A loving couple would do that ALL THE TIME. One word. FAKE. I honestly haven’t got a clue WHY ALL THIS. Oh Norman,you had it going all good for you.Now I can only pray that the universe will give you another chance,so you can try to fix this. Kisses to you,mod ❤️hope you are alright.~~mod~~ i feel like i got kicked down 10 flights of stairs.. you flirting makes me feel better

Anon: I was just thinking about the happy anniversary post and the ‘comment’. Turns out the DK part of that was true and it makes me wonder how many of the other parts were also true. Maya Angelo said when people show you who they are, believe them the first time. Eyes opened, I get it now and I’m just here for wicked gifs, and weird banter. Good things always come from bad, you’re the good thing Mod.

Anon: Pic look good, his fans on ig congrat to him so lol. Congrat to him too. We know here it so far from jealous but it is about who is this guy. Why he won’t hint their relationship at all.jdm said I think he’s single. So he happy it’s foiod but it different story from why he lid like liar, completely behave another and then be another man. And I didn’t see any pic that he look at her face. He smile to ppl. Wake up idiot fans! ~~mod~~ Please dont call fans idiots we all have our opinion

Anon: Another blog says they KNOW that Norman and DK were a thing since Sky. They supposedly have a source but won’t reveal it, they’re also saying no one knows if cheating was involved because no one knows the status of DK and JJ’ relationship. DK moved to NYC in late 2015 to be with JJ AFTER sky was finished. They bought a home together in LA in early 2016. So if her “source” is correct than yes, they were cheating all along, which makes the dec 2015 rumor seem not so false. They’re disgusting

Anon: Who knows…Maybe they both have an agreement? Maybe he agreed to help her with her image by doing this. He may think what’s the harm in helping a friend?? I am soooooo not on her side…I’m just trying to ration it out. Unfortunately we may never know. I still haven’t seen pics of them full on kissing. That one pic where they’re close looks like he was lighting a smoke. Hand holding? Even friends do that. He seemed pretty drunk anyway. Ugh and her IG? Tries to be like N & HC. UMM no.

Anon: Thinking if the 2 of them together makes me so ill but hey…He’s a big boy. I’ve been going thru the stages of grief (as stupid as that may sound) and I don’t regret smashing my DVD copy of Sky! Didn’t much like it anyway lol now I’m past the anger and just sad. I’m not as mad at N as I was a few days ago but I still think DK is a snake. I hope that he guards his heart from her nasty ways! I also think the whole thing with the paps is strange. N is very impulsive and sometimes too too nice!

Anon:Hahaha I share the same first name as DK, so at least I know when Norman is having sex he is screaming my name. Seriously tho at least she is age appropriate and who cares anyway. You are a fan of his work or not no matter who he is boning.

Anon:Is it me or is Norman avoiding liking DK IG posts? I believe he may have been drunk that night and is regretting what he did

rebellacycle:Are you going to watch jimmy Fallon tonight ? Wonder if he will talk about the new relationship. Or just TWD~~mod~~ i will probaly be asleep. probaly just talk about he twd

Anon:

Norman and Diane are happy and in love so the haters have already lost ✌🏼

Anon:

I have a question for those fans who keep saying things like “Be respectful of Norman’s private life!”…. But they’re the ones who are (unnecessarily!) publicizing it. They staged and sold pics and video. In PDA, the P doesn’t stand for Private. If they are not respecting their own relationship, why should we? Also is talking about Norman’s penis size respecting his privacy? So what exactly do y'all mean? They don’t seem to want that. They want people to talk, comment, click the links.

Anon

:Feel better soon Mod! I don’t understand something about the whole DK Shitshow. If this is legit (and not just publicity) then how come no other gossip sites are picking it up??? TMZ doesn’t have anything to say about it after they just ran the garage pics/got his denial?? It looks like People ENews DM UsWeekly and a few less known sites are the only ones going with it, so how come??? I don’t get it! I don’t understand how Norman can be one thing one day and the TOTAL OPPOSITE the next!??! WTAF

Anon: The photos and the video of NR and DK … Looking at it I just feel DK is walking with his trophy. She wants everybody to see her new toy, her little puppy that she will manipulate as she pleases. DK wants everyone to see his new trophy !! While NR smiles like a fool who does not understand the situation. Yes he became the DK puppet

anon:

I appreciate this blog and your work, but you have to moderate some comments that appear on your site. I read comments accusing Norman of lust after teenage girls. This is defamation and it is very serious. It is unbearable to see all this hate and these lies dumped on an actor we have supposed to love. It is all the more intolerable that currently the world is experiencing serious problems. Thousands of people are dying of hunger, London and Paris are the target of terrorists, but some people prefer to waste their time to dumped their hate on Norman. Treat him as if he was a criminal just because he’s in love and he lied because he didn’t want to reveal his private life in the press.I doubt that you post this message on your blog but I needed to say. Many of us live very difficult moments and see all this hate for a simple relationship is ridiculous. Some may express their disappointment but have no right to invent lies and spill their hatred. Sorry for my aproximative English, I hope to find a warm and funny blog. Good luck to you Mod….

~~mod~~ just a few things. 1.tumblr rarely lets me delete comments, the tumblr app hates me…2. the quickest way to get your post deleted is to say “you probaly wont post this”.. i hate that.

Anon:Hope you feel better soon mod. This is for when you do the bulk: at this point I think I’d be happier finding out he did accidentally get her pregnant one drunken night but actually can’t stand her and did this for appearances only and they aren’t really a thing. At least that way he would be the same guy who just made one huge mistake while intoxicated. One night stands happen all the time. But being with her?? it changes everything about him and it makes him a liar.

Anon:

been two days I haven’t looked at anything to do with N and I still can’t get over this. He’s a complete fake. short of telling us he was abducted by aliens and this was an imposter in his body I will never understand. ’s like he just revealed that he is the opposite of everything he made people believe for the past seven years. Liar. Fake. Hollywood. Stupid. Ingenuine. That’s what this makes him look like now. It makes me want to cry. someone say it was all a nightmare. where’s the real norman

Anon

:Happy Today, Mod! I hope your body parts will all in good working order soon. Please take care of yourself. The drama of Norman Reedus means nothing in the long run. Kind people like you who take the time to create community are what matters!

Anon:If DK’s marrage broke down because she cheating then norman gotta run far and fast, they cheat WITH you they cheat ON you. You should look at enty and type in Norman reedus/Diane Kruger this shit been stirring for a while Anon:Will Jimmy Fallon grill Norman about DK? ~~mod~~ dont know

Anon

:Have you seen the pap walk pics & videos?? Omg I’ll swear DK slipped a Mickey Finn in Norman’s whiskey. For him to agree to call the paps on himself, something was totally wrong with him! I don’t recognize that Norman. DK is destructive & opportunistic. She manipulated her way into his life from day one when she recommended him for the SKY role. She is as TOXIC as they come! Wtf’s he doing with her? He’s in self-destructive mode, I pray he comes to his senses in Ga surrounded by good ppl.

Anon:Diane manipulates the media and manipulates Norman. An avid woman who likes to manipulate her little world. How can people defend it? I saw her in truth, she behaves like a haughty princess.

Anon:I no longer see goodness in Norman.

Anon

:Just canceled my trip to San Fran wsc. I was gonna meet him but I can’t even look at him nevermind meet him. How are we supposed to pretend he’s the same guy? He’s NOT what he told us he was! It’s NOT bc of a gf but 1) that it’s HER of all ppl (she is the epitome of famewhore sell out and no one I’ve talked to who met her have ANYTHING nice to say) and 2) He LIED about everything. He’s not any of the things we thought, made his reps look stupid and sold out to let himself be papped. WTF is that

anon

: Personally I’m wondering if she got him drunk, got him to agree to this to make the rumors look true, and that he was too wasted to care. This is NOT the guy we know and love. This is also coming from a mutual friend of his not just some fan. he never calls the media, like TMZ on himself. He’s a private, fairly normal dude, and that’s why I think DK set it up. To boost her American publicity and get noticed for work here. Sad, sick, and sketchy.

Anon: I’m definitely over reading about it Mod but I don’t understand how anything is gonna go back to the way it was anyway so I vote to keep it on the main blog. He’s a lying jerk and this is what we have to see now every day because how can we not if he’s seriously with her. I think I’m gonna have to quit being his fan altogether bc I can’t take her I don’t want to see her ridiculous face every single time he goes anywhere ~~mod~~ here the  thing its an N blog, i dont have to post anything with her in it. im really good at cropping things out of pics.

[thebrightestringaroundthemoon]

anyway time to use this blog for what i created it for i guess and type out a big long thing about how im a worthless piece of shit and should pour myself a nice big glass of creamer, sugar, and clorox. i literally serve like? no purpose? in life? at all? im a completely directionless failure that operates with about the complexity of a fucking roomba, running into the same goddamn couch over and over again and slightly redirecting. if i get lucky, i run into a different couch, but nothing fucking changes. i do the exact same thing over and over again: surround myself with wonderful, fantastic people, fuck it up and make them hate me, and then spiral into a pit of my own pointless fucking despair until i realize im such a fucking failure of a person i cant even muster the energy it takes to fucking die so i just get up again in the morning and go again. rinse and fucking repeat. and its not like i have some horrible life or anything, im just profoundly unfit to exist on this planet. i have wonderful friends who actually, honest to god care about me and its evidently not good enough for me?? so i just respond to everything by assuming the worst, spiralling, and being too much of a dumb bitch to fucking talk to A N Y B O D Y about A N Y T H I N G cuz i guess i’d rather make a dumb edgy tumblr blog named after the lyrics to a fucking asia song than actually solve any of my problems. i guess its too much to solve a problem when the fundamental core of who you are as a person is the fucking problem. i mean, there is a solution, but ive already covered why nobody needs to be worried about me doing that! bnobody needs to be worried about me doing anytuhing! accomplishing anything! ever becoming anything! ever managing to do much more than drag myself out of bed in the morning and inspire a profoundly sad mixture of pity and annoyance in everyone iv’e ever come into fucking contact with! im sitting here debating fixing the fucking apostrophe in the last sentence and its driving me fucking mad while real people have real fucking problems and my cardboard cutout ass bad edgy teen novel stupid bitch excuse for a person ass is sitting here doing THIS with my fucking time. I have things i shuold be doing, could be doing, but this is legitimately all i can bring myself to fucking contribute to society at this point. the surest sign that the people around me are fucking saints is that theyve stuck around this fucking long but honestly i dont fucking undeerstand. i guess thats the whole point of shit like saints, you arent supposed to be able to understand, its superhuman compassion, even for those who dont fucking deserve it. or maybe its just because i fundamentally dont work. i dont have any sort of actual power when it comes to my life. these are the idle musings of a bewildered spectator, the one person who comes to the party, stays sober, and sits on the sidelines and watches the fucking idiocy unfold. except instead of drunkenly stumbling around and telling my friends how much i love them, im stone cold sober and sitting on the sidelines watching myself fail to take even the most basic fucking steps towards fixing literally any problem that im dealing with. broken. non functional. i dunno if i was born a failure, though. i think that might be giving myself a little too much credit. other people were dealt infinitely worse hands than i was and they turned out fucking wonderful. i know a couple of them. no, i think im the way i am because of me. i probably had all the chances i needed to become something resembling a human being, and instead im whatever i am now. how can i be excited about some sort of future for myself when i can barely manage a relatively privliged day to day existance? i have friends, im not starving, im in college, i have an apartment. im far from rich but im able to afford to go to college. that should be enough. why the fuck isnt that enmough. why cant i just be fucking satisfied why cant i muster some sort of positive fucking emotions why does joy last a few moments why can i do this so much easier than writing anything positive about my life why does this flow like it does like a fucking river why cant i stop my hands why why what the fuck why why am i like this why was i born why am i who i am it flows so easily it just comes out but i cant tell anyone and i cant rely on anyone because im not anyone in noone im the fucking nobody that people keep around them to make themselves feel better and the only reason i have the slightest bit of doubt about that is that i love my friends too much to ever accuse them of something like that but then again does it fucking count when its someone like me do i qualify as a fucking person does it count as hurting someone’s feelings or using them when that someone isn’t a someone is just an empty fucking shell that was only gifted with the capacity to retain HURT thats all i can fucking remember thats all that sticks with me HURT i cant fucking be rid of it and its not some sort of innate inherent biological failing its who i am as a person i did this to myself i do this to myself i dont know that i will ever stop doing this to myself. all i can hope for is that one day i gain the strrength the fucking self esteem and self respect to kill myself. maybe it isnt self respect i need for that but respect for my friends. its selfish to put them through me. the pain they’d feel from my death would last a short time if at all. it would be so much better than forcing them to know me for however long this failing fucking body will carry my empty shell of a spirit onwards thjrough a world that i dont deserve to fucking inhabit. my inner monologyue put on paper sounds like a fucking evanescence song and i hate myself for it so much jesus fucking christ. i fundamentally do not like myself. as a person. on any level. i do not like myself. i wouldnt be friends with me, and ironically i hate myself for that too. but who would? who the fuck would? why does anyone? do they? maybe thats my one fucking talent. convincing people im likable. worming my way into their fucking lives until they trust me only to realize that i am not a human being. im an empty shell, a fucking roomba of a person. i can tell when ive run into something and back up so i can run into it again. i cannot solve my own problems. i cannot even conceptualize them. im something below a human cursed with the fucking ability to think at the level of one. my ocd is really really desperately trying to get me to scroll up and fix all the spelling and grammar errors but i dont know if itll hurt more to ignore them or to have to read the dumb ashit i just wrote. earlier i said that i wanted this to flow less easily and here we are i guess. though earlier i meant it in the context of only being able to properly conceptualize negative feelings and never being abkle to hold onto anything piositive i feel, and that hasn’t been magically fixed or anything, im just having trouble feeling anything at all now. im a completely blank slate. i havent even cried once troday. i cant. i cant care about my own fucking inadequacy and failure as a very basic human being enough to even fucking cry. i cried about an anime a couple nuights ago. i can muster emotion for that. but as soon as i look inwards i dont see ahyuthing thEres NOTHING FUICKING THERE THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING THERE THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING THERE I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING I AM BROKEN I AM EMPTY I AM A {PLAGUE ON WHOEVER HAS THE PURE FUCKING MISFORTUNE TO BE A GOOD ENOUGH PERSON TO TAKE PITY ON ME i dont want to die, even. too many steps, too much feeling, too much. i just want to stop. to end. i want to no longer be. ill lock tghat away with all the other things id love to happen but know never will. that ones at the forefront though. it always will be. until i grow the fucking compassion to put others out of my misery. my roomate just texted me an innocuous questiona nd i texte d bacjk normally emojis and all im normal dont you see everyone im normal nothings wrong with me. oh sure sometimes i have a bad day but im fine everybody IM FINE you aren’t you have to put up with me ill fucking worm my way into your life and convince you im a real human being you can hold a congersation with only to snatch the fucking rug out from under you as soon as you actually attempt to engage with me on any level and i just end up eiother hurting you or revealing accidently that there is no such thing as luna thats not a fucking person its a name assigned to a loose collections of disorders, bad habits, and a gaping emotional black hoile from which nothing can fucking escape, jammed into an ugly broken body thats going to kill me early and doesnt even compensate by making me hot. wHEE. and of course, unable to be happy with anything, i will simultaneously complain about my own impending death due to horrific nutrition, subastance abuse (just the fun kinds so people dont realize anything is wrong WHEEEE) and some fucky illness that ive now gone and stopped medicating because im a stupid worthless bitch, AND I WILL COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS WHILE SIMULATENOUSLY WANTING TO DIE what do i want? who the fuck knows! not me! that’s a redundant statement, of course “me” doing know bercause thats not a thing im not a person! id love to blame it on my complete and total internal faliure as a person that i always end up hurting people, but honestly its probably because i dont put enough fucking effort in. even right now,. literally hours after a good friend of mine ostaroted feeling like shit in a way that is almost for sure my fucking fault, im doing THIS instead of trying to right the situation (to b fair she made a point of not inviting me but inviting the rest of the group?) or did she am i just reading into this? who knows! who the fuck knows! everyone but “me”! ejveryone else knows! becayuse its probably REALALLY FUCKING SIMPLE BUT NOOOOO I CANT EVEN MANAGE THAT CAN I I CANNNOT EVEN FUCKING MANMAGE TO MANAGE THAT CAN I thats too much for lil ol me! i am aggressively pointless! i am the single least important collection of fucking atoms on this planet! every last fucking rock i stepped on walking to and from the class that i skipped half of today is more important and has contribtued more to the grand scheme of things than i ever have or ever will, and thats jkust the inanimate fucking objects on the ground. lets not even get started on all the actual people whose time my existance waste, who i am a fucking affront to  by sheer virtue of being in any way associated with them at any point in time ever. i guess this is it, this is what i get when my entire personlaity is a loosely cobbled together collection of self deprecating jokes and a fake ego, desperately attempting to patch over an interior that has holes in it less than it just is one giant fucking hole. i was, am, and will be nothing, not even enough to earn the use of “I” at the beginning of the sentence. dinner is in 15 minutes. my friends will be there. im paralyzed. i belive every word i wrote above so why

would i inflict myself upon them but i 

i cant not

i so deeply want to

to go sit in uncharacteristic silence and hope somebnody notices and asks me whats up so i can give them a dumb, abridged, mostly fake version and get the sad pity looks and then feel bad about exploiting them and then

rinse

repeat

because i am not a person