#this isnt about anything specific just overall about what ive seen

[wikiangela]

seeing any hate on bucktommy and tommy or especially on my fellow buddie shippers who enjoy and ship bucktommy too has me like:

[retaurd]

So sorry if this is an annoying or repetitive question, but I’m in a similar family situation and I was curious if you experience maternal feelings toward your brother? Or if the knowledge that he is your brother and not your son is enough to stave this off? I’ve read accounts from surrogates where they develop a maternal attachment during pregnancy that makes the handoff of the baby really difficult. Was it easier since you’re not really being separated from your brother after birth? Again I’m sorry if this is something you’re tired of explaining, one of your posts about it floated across my dash and scrolling your blog for a while I haven’t seen any posts about it that could answer my questions without directly asking. Have a good one

hi! happy to answer, especially if it helps you in some way

to clarify, just in case: what i did isnt considered a surrogacy, but a gestational carry, because my own eggs were not used in any way. surrogacy, from my understanding now (because i had no idea there was a difference or that surrogacy entailed horrors when i started this ~1.5yr ago) is when a woman gives her own genetic material in the creation of the child, carries it, then the child is removed from her and raised by someone else. what i did was have a lil test tube guy, a week old fetus basically, implanted into me, a fetus that belongs(ed? he ain't a fetus no more) to my parents. all i did was help my mom out with gestating him. basically.

anyway to answer you: i've had a heavy hand in raising all of my siblings since i was about 12 years old so i think i have a weird relationship with maternalist feelings but i'll do my best to answer as clearly as i can because for me those waters are a bit muddied. for me the most clearly maternal i felt was immediately post-birth and i will explain. the entire time i was pregnant i was fine, i had a wonderful peaceful easy pregnancy (im pretty sure comparably, aside from a couple gallbladder attacks) without much stress or anxiety mostly, but the minute i saw him, and specifically saw other people, medical professionals, touching him, i got extremely emotional like rapturously overjoyed and then also extremely anxious. they had to take him a few times for a few tests, some examinations, a bath, et c., and i remember getting overwhelmingly anxious and upset that he was apart from me and that they could possibly hurt him because a lot of them are dumb as fuck but that's a separate grievance for another time

im lucky in that i have him half of the time, im with him during the night and early day and my mom is very very freely giving with him and i am as much involved as she and my dad are, just like with my other siblings. the first night i was home he was with my mom and i couldn't sleep just weepy and wondering what he was doing. literally. wondering what a newborn was doing lol. but after a few days for me this wore off as my hormones settled and my anxiety and worry relaxed about him getting hurt, that was a constant fear for the first like 4 or 5 days for me. sleeping helped my body and mind return to normalcy, i had a c-section so i am still recovering from that and my physical inability at the time also had something to do with my fears i think, i had this sense of inadequacy that i would fail him and being physically vulnerable didn't help

overall now, im fine i think. ask me again in a couple months though, who knows about then. i definitely get all the time with him i want or need. my mom from the beginning has been discussing the possible difficulty with me and i think ive organized things mentally well enough. i never thought of him as anything but my brother so i think that helped as well, i think if i wouldve basically poisoned myself into considering him to be my child it would've made things a million times harder as well as that being biologically untrue.

my parents trusted me to do this extremely important thing for them because i volunteered several times over the course of years and have worked to prove my responsibility to them. so it really felt like an act of love for me, i love them, i love my other siblings, i love the baby, i love everyone. all i wanted was to give more. and from the beginning my parents told me this isn't just their baby, it's 'our' baby, as in my whole family. thinking about it that way helped me too.

i hope this helped. i was very scared at some points and very nervous or fearful but nothing was ever as bad as i thought and i was never presented with anything i couldnt handle. please if you need or want to, come off anon and talk to me. im here for you if you need it, even if it is still anonymous but we are able to talk privately and i can do whatever i can to help, i'd be more than happy to. thank you for coming to me, i hope with all my heart that you're okay and your family too

[hazamacore]

also i finished the original runs of spider-man noir and something i appreciated was how explicitly socialist peter and aunt may are written. peter’s anger is at its forefront as one of his primary emotions and is always portrayed as completely justified - considering the setting and the events of the comic, thats important and im glad they did it. i saw reviews saying peter didnt resemble peter parker but i dont think thats true. the core of the character is still there and his anger doesnt feel at all ooc - its just amplified due to his specific circumstances here and the era which is one saturated with injustice (including literal nazis) that peter strongly fights against. notably, the only stark difference that sets him apart from the typical peter parker is his willingness to kill

it feels like there was wasted potential wrt some of the characters notably felicia and may and mj (who is barely in it) - dont like at all what they did with peter and felicia’s relationship that was weird!!! felicia i think wouldve worked better in a mentor role similar to what ben urich was to peter before he was killed. may had clear prominence throughout and her presence was definitely felt but i just felt like she couldve been used more all things considered

“eyes without a face” made me feel genuinely physically sick while reading - which is the point, of course, because it draws from and is a commentary on the real antiblackness in the 1930s. robbie is a really good character and i wish we got to see more of him before his tragedy. and i cant help but feel put off by said tragedy being used to develop peter’s character or a means of drama for him. the writer, i looked it up, is white. and ill have to read into it more to see if i can find any interviews from him but using the “death” (or: even worse in this case. robbie was lobotomised) of a black character as a narrative tool to develop the white main character feels very gross, especially taking into account the narrative’s context and backdrop. ive seen people posit that robbie is the closest thing to gwen stacy in the noir universe as a tragic parallel but then inevitably u need to acknowledge that gwen stacy was fridged and what the implications of that is

overall, though, it doesnt feel like anything it does is out of “shock value” despite its edgy reputation. the way it frames things is generally (though there is some very tone deaf ableism) done with sensitivity and to make a point about injustice and the evils of society and fascism and, more specifically, the authorities who orchestrate it and keep it in place. even if the writing isnt great and fails in places there are some interesting concepts and its very easy to see why this iteration of peter became popular among fans. idk if i recommend it unless ur really interested in the character of spiderman noir because of said writing flats though

[ghostys-originals]

RKZ Fandom Boundaries/ Consent

Ive seen some creators make these boundary lists as of late and although I’ve accepted that I cannot control what a fandom does, I believe its at least important to vocalize my boundaries so there is no confusion in the future.

This is mainly about Roadkillerz, but can be extended to apply to whatever else I make in the future!

[CW: Brief mentions of nsfw topics, p*dophillia, and other problematic subjects common in fandom, will also briefly mention hate speech]

1. Fan Merch/art/fic/etc

- Although I would prefer if you financially supported me first, I do not mind the creating and selling of fan merch such as art prints, stickers, etc!

- With that said, I will discuss what I am personally comfortable with seeing depicted:

1a. Hate Speech

- I do not encourage the promotion of hate speech such as lgbtq+ phobia, racism, sexism, anti semitism, etc using my work/characters as the face for that. Not only does it directly go against my own values, but for RKZ specifically, goes against the intended themes of the series (nazi “punks” are posers)

- On the topic of politics, I dont mind the promotion of, love speech? I guess? I dont know how the groups affected would feel about fandomifying important issues, but if you want to use RKZ characters for political stances that dont fall under hate speech go for it. Pro-lgbtq fan works for example is fair game.

1b. NSFW

- To be super blunt: I do not mind NSFW content as a concept, majority of my characters are of age (18+) unless stated otherwise.

- I, however, will expect some very basic criteria:

One, I do not feel comfortable with ships between family members, adult/children, etc. I dont want to encourage ship discourse since anything can be considered abusive, but as long as its NEITHER of those two things I do not care.

Two, Please be a responsible ADULT (no minors are permitted to publicly post nsfw content of my work) and keep any nsfw art/fanfiction out of the main tags. I understand minors will still seek out content not meant for them, but there are also people (not just minors either) who want to be able to scroll through a tag without seeing something they dont want to. Sex is about consent, and if your work doesnt include at LEAST a warning of some kind that aint good.

Overall just have some common sense, and if you do see people doing these things please dont debate them- just block and move on. I hate it too but getting into flamewars isnt productive and you’ll just be angry and you’ll never change their minds. Bonus thing: love yourself, care for yourself

Ok I think thats the most i’ll put for that? Now for things unrelated to content

2. Staff interactions

2a. I am alright with having a casual back and forth with fans, however I highly discourage developing parasocial relationships. If you wish to be my friend, you HAVE to treat me like a person. I do not respond well to idol-worship or lovebombing. I’ve had many bad experiences with people being super weird with that. I am not saying this to be rude, but I can and will block you if you make me feel uncomfortable, spam my DMs, or do anything else that I believe oversteps my comfort. I prefer to not befriend fans anyway since that promotes power dynamics, plus the before mentioned idol-worship which just makes me feel inhuman, so do not get your hopes up

EDIT: ALSO THIS SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING, But do not attempt to block evade/cyberstalk either. It WILL not end well for you. (if you want to know what counts as cyberstalking, it should be at the point where you dedicate your life to finding out literally everything about a person- casually checking my socials is fine as long as it doesnt absorb your life)

Cyberstalking and block evading are a clear rejection of established boundaries and if you participate in that, then you are just scum. Theres no woke twist you can put on it to justify it. Its wrong no matter how you feel about somebody.

2b. With that said, please do not harass anybody involved with the production of Roadkillerz/Other works including VAs, friends, friend of friends, etc. Please remember that they are humans too and have the right to privacy and healthy relations like anybody else.

2c. Fetish mining/sharing nsfw content/etc: Even though I said I dont mind NSFW content, I still do not consent to receiving sexual messages from strangers that includes but are not limited to sexting/flirting, sending nsfw art/fics, irl photos in a sexual manner, requesting I draw fetish material like Sam wearing a straight jacket (TRUE STORY, BY THE WAY.), etc.

If i think of anything else I’ll add to this but for now I believe this should be enough.

[so0ppa]

hiiiiii. your art style is so cool and inspires me a whole lot.. i really like the way you draw faces and hair !! idk i just. have never seen an art style like yours before. there's something really unique about it. i also love the pencil brush you use. and your painting style is cool too!!!! it looks so nice and its bright in a good way. idk i just. love your art bjasjhdasjh. it makes me happy whenever you post it. im not sure how to word all of this sorry if this sounds weird……. what inspired your art style btw? :3 (if you were inspired by anything at all.)

hallo thanksz youu nonnie i appreciate all the compliments though i cant respond to much of it since im . bad at taking compliments. (like idk to me my art is just a pretty generic mish between cartoony western comics and anime (specifically like french "anime" iykwim) but yk to each their own and such i dont need to understand something to appreciate it)

and uh there's like no way to know what ive been inspired by as i have been drawing since forever and i dont have good memory past like a year or so back ... but ehh ill list off art i like and want to study/artists i find admirable and would like to be more like at this particular point i guess?

one piece anime (up to the major style change after time skip, tho the art for fan letter and the most recent arcs has been good from what ive seen), dunmeshi manga, witch hat atelier manga (havent read much of yet), drawfee (all 4 hosts lol), @/huyandere, @/toydrill, @/otrebot, @/stil-lindigo, @/flandrepudding, @/ottororin, @/temporal-garbage

and thats most i can think of off the top of my head lol.. um hope this isnt an overall disappointing answer idk.

[rv2xlga]

another rant: not persona related for the first time i think lol

ok so im back to rant on here as per usual, this time on my sister's computer which is where i do most if not all my websiting and not on my phone which is when you know it is very serious!

ok so as the title suggests, this rant ISNT! about persona 5 as ive been playing kingdom hearts and its been on my list for many, many years but my other sister finally got us a ps4 in nov of 2022 after so very long of us wanting one with her fafsa money and i managed to finish final mix.. now! very productive and not adhd-pilled of me whatsoever (i say incredibly sarcastically) but anywho, i finally finished final mix, as i've stated before and am now playing re:chain and i absolutely hate kingdom hearts' combat because it is so god damn unnecessary and pointless and horrible! but the long time hyperfixation and yaoi grind is so serious which i did not know soriku was so heavy in the game lmfao, my poor girl kairi she deserves so much better omg ToT but that's a whole different, much bigger conversation rant for another day..

but enough with long ass stupid intros, as a long time riku fan seeing his character and just how the overall story has played out so far aside from the ridiculous ass writinggg, i've been really impressed ngl! it has a lot of potential that it actually reaches, again, aside from the horriddd writing, the plot and ending in particular was very similar to revolutionary girl utena which is like. absolute peak everything for me lmfao honestly i wouldn't be shocked if it was inspired by it cuz they are soo many similarities, i kept even pointing it out to my sis (who HASN'T watched it yet very unfortunately!) cuz im such a nerd lmao. and especially with riku, im very happy he's even IN the game first of all cuz compared to most of my other sillies... like rip to my girl akechi you deserved so much better.. but anywho anywho, i really love riku's character and everything his character represents ESP from what i've seen in the com gba ver which i don't know if that passes to re:com, which is the ver im playing but i really hope so cuz i've seen some clips and he is, ugh such an amazing character so yes. im going to deep dive here with revolutionary girl utena, specifically anthy and akio as my basis for most of this lmaosdbhh (rgu spoilers and kh too of course)

i know im very crazy with how i jump to conclusions and try to "analyze" characters and all that, even from as young as i can remember myself i've always thought like. wayy too much its honestly very embarrassing but there's personally a lot of similarities between akio and anthy's whole dynamic that reminds me of riku and diz and ansem, whatever that whole mess is. i know diz isn't essentially a villain from what i've heard and seen and searching more about it now to double check what i'd be saying on here isn't complete nonsense, i forget kingdom hearts is legit nonsense and i clearly do not know much to anything at all about diz and ansem and whatever tf is happening there omglj ToT but but i will try my very best and to differentiate, ill be calling the actual ansem diz and the ansem in final mix just ansem so its easier for everyone involved lol and again ill mostly be focusing on parallels of rgu to final mix but overall, talking mostly about riku (my baby :3) yayy!

its so crazy how the final mix plot went to me, again im actually just very shocked with kingdom hearts' storylines and stuff in general. i imagine not much thought was put behind it as the writing. speaks for itself but it is actual very nuanced and again, has a lot of potential it actually reaches or could reach which is like. gold mine for me! we know that in rgu, akio is very blatantly harassing and abusing anthy in all forms, even the people around her, succumbing to the abuse he had endured throughout all his life really giving him no purpose or real reason as we see and are made to imply in episode 39 and the last scene with anthy as she leaves the school, he has nothing to really back up why anthy should stay, as of course they never will be any real reason to it aside from the abusive cycle that they're in specifically he is stuck in, having to make it everyone else's problem from lack of growth and realization (which still doesn't excuse any of his horrid actions, but was practically impossible for him to do but that is a pretty bigger conversation for what we have here to discuss today). it reminds me a lot of ansem and his connection with riku, how he used riku's body and how ansem's "motive" is never really mentioned in final mix, not that much can really be deciphered with all that darkness-hearts talk anyway but you know. and mind you, i know there's a lot more lore that goes into ansem and the reason for his existence, him being a heartless and all, same with diz and the actual ansem so again, i won't be really going into how ansem and akio are similar as individuals but just as their roles in the respective main storyline of final mix (ive stated that way too much times by now, curse you adhd) riku's body being used as just another vessel to ansem and the "darkness" that was inside of him was only really possible because riku was an easily susceptible child, as children are obviously going to be, and ansem used this position of innocence and hashtag childlike wonder lol to be able to use him and manipulate him to do his bidding, essentially. even after everything, when sora is inside that egg (for reasons i havent yet to know!) which can parallel what happens to utena at the end of rgu, riku/anthy are still in the shadows of their abusers to even save their loved one, as unfortunate as it is. it is just like the door scene with riku and sora which is extremely similar to the rgu door scene (which is when all these similarities really hit me lol), both riku and anthy are inside the door or coffin or whatever the case and they are the ones that have to be saved but it ends up being the other way around as again, the abusive cycle is continuous and unfortunately, ever affecting but it is a very big part to break free from this cycle that you try to grow, into a better person as riku and anthy did. again, they were still connected to their abusers, each to their respective cases but they were actively seeking freedom by putting love first and not just romantic love, but love at all, in all of its forms (such a nuanced thing, lol no pun intended but yes i do love that topic very much) which is something abusers do not have, as someone who is currently in a situation like this, a lot can be said from personal experience.

i think it's interesting to view how riku viewed the "ansem in his heart" as just an amalgamation of fear and abuse of all those unfortunate things. the ansem that he was scared of, not diz/the real deal, was a lot more of a disgusting type of person, someone who was "darker, more foul" as the ansem he knew was a literal heartless being, literally. and diz was able to use this fear to his advantage by being insanely creeping and threatening to him (which is where we can see abusers are still human at the end of the day) when riku could've "choose between darkness and light" or he could've realized his specialness, in a much nicer more peaceful way lol and i don't just say that cuz the combat is awful or as jokes, i genuinely mean it. and in all that, that is the literal definition of abuse! same as what akio did and even with akio's character as his prince self and his present self, we are made to believe they are two different ppl bc of how much he gave into that abuse and let it consume him, he became a monster, someone completely different in his entirety (which i fucking love that btw). and again, i know that is not the case with ansem and diz because they are literally two different people but you can't argue the general ideas are similar and the nuisances/themes are and could be there, i think it works really well for an abuse allegory. using sora, what he held very dear as anthy did utena or just the general idea of a genuine love and connection for them both which is obviously what the care and love stems from, to get riku to do his bidding, changing riku by almost entirely just to discard him later and only focus on what really threatened his power, or abusive cycle in reality (cuz ik the ansem drama goes a lot more serious and family oriented and all that lol), which was sora and in akio's case, utena (by keeping them in "eternal slumbers" in the places that they are situated in or around/familiar with). even to the way that riku treats sora in final mix, which i know isn't really him but his sort of detachment to him is very similar to anthy and how she would treat utena. which really isn't just comphet but it is something much, much bigger than that that doesn't really involve utena much when you really look at it. it is a very general sort of detachment and indifference that comes with abuse i really wished more people talked about because abuse is not just some funny little joke or something to be easily looked over! for the love of god, i am ating at so many things rn good lord. but his detachment towards sora was just his brain numbing to the abuse, losing that sense of love and almost sanity and even humanity to look at it that way, just as what happened to anthy and her barely-any-sense-of personality. like unfortunately it's still riku and it was still him, even if very little but he was still there and what we were seeing there was just the abuse and manipulation taking him over or the abuser and abusive cycle taking them over just as what akio became due to his abusers and cycle, once again as it is continuous, and what ansem's literal existence was and meant. they were or had just become amalgamations of the "darkness" in ones' hearts, the bad things and i think the game like com itself showing that you are a mix of them both and you have to balance them both is very beautiful because yes, unfortunately you can never be truly cured even more so when it has affected you even from childhood, you have to just live with it but you can grow and be a better person because you are human and you have broken free from this cycle and have control over your own life. hopefully this makes sense, i really don't wanna come off any sort of way. writing this all makes me realize it is a very messy and nuanced topic even to describe it which.. makes me love it even more lol.

ima attach some lines here i got from this website online of a let's play lmfao cuz im lowkey losing my train here ugh, fuck adhd omg. but update while writing. i am currently rereading after like an hour and it kinda came back to me. sorry if the next paragraph is kinda random and already has some topics i have already introduced previously I REALLY DO HATE ADHD but i wouldn't be here without it would i now....

seeing more of the lines now, the words and nuisances of the things he says are genuinely soo abusive oml. there's just a lot of potential like i've stated so many times at this point, within the game. as someone with a few personality disorders, black and white morality is such a big issue with me and i feel like the whole darkness and light thing especially with how they handle it with riku can fit really well into that too. i headcanon riku with ocpd, something i have because i was really shocked with how much i resonated with his character and how much i see him struggling with that. him not being able to understand how him and sora and kairi could've came to one (agreement terms i mean, lord) and taking such drastic measures with everything and being so avoidant with the things around him, even with how he had such a want for a bigger worldwide and viewed himself as if he had so much more hopes and dreams compared to kairi and sora due to the simplicity of his innate thinking and again, took such drastic measures to achieve that and even prove it, even if it was mostly unwillingly, he was able to be easily manipulated because aside from being a child, his "larger worldview" was easy to crumble because it is just built on excessive thinking and the constant need for answers (which very much reflects perfection and obsessiveness that is the biggest issues with ocpd) which is very unstable because life isn't really like that and when you can't snap yourself into this realization or have no one else to really do it for you, trust me if you don't suffer through ocd or similar things like that yourself, it is difficult asf lemme tell you that. obsession doesn't really get you anywhere and that even goes into abuse and abusers' obsessions with whatever their "motives" are. it's strange because it doesn't really make any sense as their "motives" are never really real motives and can never really be described but that is just its nature because it is nonsensical and is just a result of overdrive and it kills, as simple as that.

ok so i have a lot more kingdom hearts related-thoughts and analyses aside from all my various other cringe, nerdy thoughts (we don't discuss the intrusive or sexual ones my friends) but i think i've ranted enough for today, another mid-way update but lost my train again, but this is the longest i've ever ranted for, definitely had to get it off my chest that's for sure lol. but aside from the ranting, i hope to use tumblr more, just to be on my own but i hope to post more doodles and art related shit on here as i hopefully figure out how to work my tumblr around and all that so it's easier to post from my phone and stuff without getting the computer and eventually losing all my energy :P yes, i will be cooking up rgu au for kingdom hearts like just doodles is what is to take from all this. sorry if it doesn't make much sense i tried my best fhfdshk

[imkittyjustkitty]

For the st concept (the jane doe thing) it's really cool! Im invested too 😭😭 i do have a few questions:

(1) is the fic gonna be set canonwise or are u gonna do it outside of that(-canon, battle, dark stuff)? (2) And how would the characters react to the reader's existence?(i feel like they'd be bothered and surprised but "hey a headless, talking, human? Isn’t the weirdest thing we've encountered")

(3) how tall/big are they? Are they the size of a doll? (Im sorry idk what/who jane doe is 😭) (4) how old is the reader?

And for name suggestions, Hiram would fit bcs the reader borrows the head of a doll, and "hiram" is a word in filipino which quite literally means "borrow", But it would depend on if another character would be the one to give them a name.

And for their relationships with the other characters, i think it would be cute if they were all someone protective of the reader.(But at first they are obviously freaked out.) For love interests, i think it would depend on the age of the reader. Buuut i think a found family trope would fit a little better? Steve’s the mom, of course. Nancy's the dad (who teaches reader about all kinds of stuff, and scolds anyone who is scared of/insults the reader) and el would def be really curious abt the reader, and protective, too :P overall ur idea is so cool and cute i love it

ahhhhh omg yes hi im so glad ppl r loving this like i am !!!

under cut is a bit of season four spoilers bc im discussing when it might be set ! <3

(1) i was thinking its set season four because that has the dynamics between certain characters which i like, things like steve isnt awful and we have robin & eddie etc. ive been leaning towards moving away from canon and having less of the plot with the upside down/vecna/etc. (id also be fine with season 3 just bc id love for everyone to hang out at starcourt together)

but i was also thinking it would be cool to involve reader in all the events, and reader could end up helping them. im going to this with the idea that reader doesnt stick around in the end, and hopefully finds out who they are, which now im thinking about it could in some way be via being vecna'd, i dont know the specifics on how that would work for reader but its an idea that could be cool !!

so to answer the question im happy with leaning either way, id loooove to do it with everyone all happy and everything so we get cute dynamics with everyone hanging out together, but sticking with canon for the most part could be rlly interesting so yeah !! im open to both sides atm i havent decided

(2) i feel like at first their reaction would be like 'wtf am i seeing' honestly bc yeah theyve seen alot, i think it depends on when its set, bc if its set in s4 i bet at least a few ppl would be like 'thats wild am i being vecna'd rn?' lmao. but yeah i dont think most of their worlds would be like rocked or anything bc atp theyve seen so much they cant be toO like terrified

(3) im giggling at the thought of reader being doll sized omg /pos

these are some photos of jane in the show (shes the blonde one just so theres no confusion lol!) she has doll-like make-up and such, and she also moves a bit robotic like a doll. i would ofc describe reader far more vaguely for appearance so everyone can read this and see themselves in it, but this is the girl who inspired this whole idea :D !!!

in ride the cyclone, jane doe is normal human sized, and her doll is normal doll sized (its a porcelain doll but like where are we gonna find a porcelain doll in hawkins lmao so thats why i went w some sort of babie or other day). in ride the cyclone its kind of just one of those things no one explicitly brings up, someone gets a lil creeped out by jane's headless doll but thats about it, so its one of those things without like a full explanation, but i think its such a cute way to give them a head.

so reader would be like normal human size and everything, and the doll head and the fact that reader might talk to the doll is something everyone is kinda just like 'ok yeah i dont have the energy to unpack whatever's happening there'. ooorrr we could always add some sort of explanation if we wanted to which i wouldnt be opposed to :DD

also above ties into that this isnt going to be 100% serious dark angst etc, ride the cyclone itself could be quite heavy if it werent for the fact that its a funky lil comedic thing as well, and i think thats a fun vibe that ill probably try to stick to a lil with this as well

(4) for age my original idea was that reader is around robin/steve/nancy/eddie/etc's age, early 20's or like 18-19, this is bc id like the dynamic between reader and other characters if reader was around this age. and also i dont want this to be like a shot-for-shot remake of when the gang found el in the woods, so making reader like dustin's age is less appealing to me.

omg i love that name idea and i loovveee how it ties back to the doll bc ik the doll wont actually talk back but i think its such a cute thing to include so i just gotta. so far ive been suggested gn variations of jane doe, but i also love this definitely putting it on the list for name options !!

and for relationships yess i agree !! i asked what people thought for romantic bc i was interested in what ppl thought but i am leaning towards stuff like yeah found family !! i cant explain why but i would loooove nancy and reader's friendship in this just soemthing abt it i love !! and omg yes ofc dad nancy and mum steve .

also i can totally see reader and el bonding over how el can relate to reader not rlly knowing anything about the world and how things work and such !!

for context, jane doe in ride the cyclone can speak and all (which i might alter a bit for reader bc depending on how long reader's been alone/in a purgatory kinda place in the upside down then they may be a bit out of practice with speaking) but doesnt actually know what most things are, bc she learnt what they were during her life, which ofc she does not remember, so yeah !

[markets]

so twitter is here now huh

welcome! twitter is hell so glad to have you guys. im doing the same thiing everyone else is doing, tumblr advice for new people under the cut, if you dont feel like reading it all the most important things are in bold (click keep reading):

- since its relevant, if a post is very long use one of those things ^ so that its more comfortable for people scrolling! its the one on the right below. theres no character limit on here so please use this when necessary lol

- reblogging stuff you like is important, especially art and writing! thats really the only way to push content on here and the like to rb ratio on mcytblr tends to be terrible so its very appreciated. if you REALLY like it you can leave nice comments in the reply section or in the tags as well! people appreciate them a lot :] if you want to rb something but dont want it appearing on your blog right now, theres a little arrow next to the post button and if you click on it, you’ll get the option to queue the post, meaning it appears on your blog later (you can adjust exactly when in the queue settings, found under the little profile icon)

- you can choose how private you want to be. ive seen so many people be like “dont say your name. dont say your age. dont make an intro post.” or “put your entire medical history in your carrd” but i feel like you can choose how you want to present yourself on here! you dont have to say anything about yourself if you want, or you can make a fun intro post/carrd with the things you like, or you can just say your name (or moniker), whether youre a minor or not, and pronouns, or anything else! its up to you, and here you dont really have to worry about getting doxxed so. obviously dont give out your address or anything but yeah :]

- ^kind of going off what i just said, if you want friends on here, you can make an intro/looking for mutuals post and put your interests in the tag section! thats how i found lots of my mutuals. honestly just use the tags in general, because its the only way to get your posts out there other than rbs and its much better than speaking into the void. dont put tags unrelated to the post itself though, people dont really like it. tumblr prioritizes the first 5 tags on a post ive heard, so be mindful of that, especially if youre an artist or writer!

- on the subject of tags, if youre going to critique a dsmp character, feel free to do so, just tag it appropriately! for example, if youre making a post that criticizes c!philza, tag it as #c!philza critical. also, please dont tag dsmp/mcyt posts as mine//craft or mine//blr (censoring it so it doesnt appear in the search), people who just want to hear about the game dont appreciate it. also, please dont tag or1gin smp (censoring again) for posts about the hybrid smp with tommy, ranboo, tubbo, etc because an active fandom already uses that tag, use osmp instead :]

- discourse isnt really common on here, but if youre going to talk about it, tag it as #discourse so that people can blacklist it. oh yeah i forgot to talk about that, you can blacklist tags in settings, which is great for triggers or anything you just dont want to see. id suggest blacklisting all forms of whatever the tag is (for example, dont just blacklist #tw gore, blacklist #gore tw, #gore cw, #cw gore, and #gore as well). lots of blogs (like mine) operate on an ask to tag basis, meaning that if you send them an ask asking to tag a specific thing, they will!

- speaking of asks, people love them! ive never met someone who doesnt like getting an ask, regardless of how random it is. if you like someones content or want to be their friend, feel free to send an ask, anonymous or not! i think this goes without saying but just in case, sending anon hate is heavily frowned upon, its kind of a pussy move as well tbh so dont do it

- other than the occasional weirdo mcytblr/dsmpblr is pretty chill, so try not to start fights in main tags for no reason lol please i dont want to have to migrate to linkedin or some shit. if you see something you dont like, the best move is to just block them and move on. literally just block anyone you dont like itll make everything so much more pleasant i promise. however if you do want to start a fight my asks are always open <3333

overall, just dont be an asshole and have fun!! here are some blogs id recommend following: 

mine lol pls give me clout, @relaxxationattack, @cyani07, @night-and-dae, @otteritos, @esclapo, @periwinklemoonlight, @minecraftsz, @timedeo, @poorlydrawndsmp, @tittybitch, @lnniter​​, @girlbossinnit,​ @trickszie​ (if youre on here we’re mutuals and/or i think you’re really cool so hiiii)

[year2000electronics]

i actually don't have an opinion on either, so i'm curious: what do you hate about youtooz? (the price is way too much though i agree)

ok. so. first things first the REASON i compare these two series, and i believe it IS a fair comparison, is that they both serve the same role in their respective merchandising niches: a brand with a certain style that most figures conform to that is famous (or rather, notorious) for covering ridiculous amounts of media and their style being... well, depends who you ask. its just that funko pop covers mainstream media most of the time, basically anything that a big company can fund, whereas youtooz is for internet icons and independent creators 

and the BIGGEST point is the price point. 

so just using pops official website and my own personal knowledge as a jumping off platform, i know that the whole reason pops are so simplistic and accessible is because they’re meant to be easily accessible collectibles for the mainstream audience! theyre supposed to be neat little collectibles that are easy to get and easy to produce (which is how they maintain the price) 

the price here says these star trek funko pops are 11 bucks, and just from personal experience ive seen pops go for anywhere from 9 bucks to 15 bucks, with some really common pops even making their way to the dollar store! so if youre a fan of star trek who doesnt have CRAZY disposable income and you just wanna nab a spock, hey. there you go. 

now, vaulted pops and chase variants (basically pops that arent currently being restocked in stores, and rarer simple variants to already made models ie. gold mario) rack up a lot of money on auction sites, but this happens with literally every figure and limited item so its really not like, a pop problem. imo their goal of being simple, accessible collectibles for anyone to collect and enjoy WORKS.

now here ive got some figures from youtooz and- HUH. LOOK AT THAT. 30 US DOLLARS. (again, even more for me in canada!) now, i know that its not TOTALLY ridiculous bc even though theyre around the same height, funko pops have more hollow plastic and theres probably more complex designs but the REASON i do not think that these are worth as much as they are is because

2. THEY ARE UGLY. 

ive done a little sketch here trying to analyze the sort of design philosphies of the ‘pop style’ and the ‘youtooz style’ and i think both have their ups and downs.

i will give youtooz the point for the dynamic poses theyre usually in, as that usually makes the figure a lot more interesting, which you REALLY need if your figure has absolutely no articulation

look at the youtooz charlie brown doing a baseball- hes in the middle of an action pose, and it has a GREAT silhouette. 10/10 posing. some of the youtooz posing really fucking sucks but overall its got better pose quality 

but a lot of pops are Just Standing There. 

BUT overall i think funko pop has the stronger style. funko pop’s style has a REASON to be the way it is. why? because many of the first pop lines were just one in dozens and hundreds of already existing toy lines! so it needs a distinct style to not only give credence to a ‘collection’ mentality, but also distinguishing them from other lines of the same brand

like, there are so many different c-3pos out there, so i KNOW im getting a funko pop c-3po bc like. look at him. 

so then, i ask you, WHY does youtooz need a ‘unifying style’? why do internet creators need to conform to this style? because both the reasons i listed above just, do not apply here! one, these are often the ONLY figures made for these creators, and two, there is NOBODY who is collecting youtooz. the point of youtooz is that there are LIMITED DROPS, targeted SPECIFICALLY at fans of THAT creator. which is why they announce it on their channel! so theres no NEED to use this ugly UGLY style! and yet they do!!!

another thing the youtooz style sucks ass with is, like, the default expression. for funko pops, the default expression is usually a neutral, which SOME say is creepy or offputting but IMO. its like, a blank slate. a resting natural that could be anything and that works as these figures dont exist IN motion. look at hello kitty! she doesnt have a mouth and its used to her advantage 

but the closed eyes just fucking- its CONFUSING. especially in an expression thats not all smiley. its a confusing expression and usually a closed-eyes emotion isnt something that... stays on the face for that long? ik its a stylization choice but i dont LIKE it. theres no point of eye contact here. the posture suggests theyre looking SOMEwhere, like this rando throwing a thumbs up to the ‘viewer’ but his eyes are closed

AND THREE i just think funko pop does... ‘compromise’ better. so compromise is like, when something just WILL NOT FIT in your style. even if the reason for having that style is STUPID. funko pop has a better track record with bringing that style into synthesis with their own. yeah yeah you can strawman that fucking dory pop all you want but listen. there are GOOD EXAMPLES of this. 

look at this peashooter! hes adorable!! and the funko nose and lack of mouth get broken here. but LOOK HES SO CUTE

this pvz zombie breaks EVERY rule of the design. a non-standard nose, a body not smaller than the head, eyes that arent all black, MOUTH. but like. look at him! you know its a funko pop anyways bc its a small cute version of the zombie!!

now lets see how YOUTOOZ compromises. 

oh- oh wow. so uh, you saw a character whose big eyes are CRUCIAL to their design and instead of going ‘i know ill make the closed eyes bigger’ you go HMM LETS MAKE THE CLOSED EYES THE PUPILS’. wow. thats- okay.

tldr youtooz sucks and if it should exist it shouldnt force every figure to be the same stupid style. also who wants to pay for memes.

[gayspock]

im just gonna do a big dump like i did with the last trek movies <3 soo first contact liveblog! wrow!

- first of all i havent seen these little guys in such a long time now! so im going to sayy hiyaaa to them all when they appear!

- i also dont kno ANYTHIN abt this movie going in. wrt, like, trek movies- shit i dont know much at all abt the tng ones... ive heard a few bad rumblings, but i cant remember anything specific? well. except for the fact. i knwo data has an emotion chip put him in at some point somewhere. 🤷 which makes me fume.... & i know kirk eats shit in generations. however thats abt it. i think ive not heard anything specifically BAD abt fc though, so :33

- i will say one thing i do worry mysself with the tng films, and i guess why i havent been inclined to watch them... mm. sigh. i mean this isnt such a hot take on tumblr dot com, no sir, but i dont really care THAT much for picard. fr fr - i dont, despite all the jokes, but it isnt THT serious like... i think he has the blueprint for someone i could actually be obsessed with, as a character, but im simply not fond of how he is used narratively. in tng i always took issue with that: how stories meant for other characters, kind of wrapped up as the captain picard show a lot of the time, especially when others were really robbed of so much depth; and similarly, times where i just was not fond of the way he was framed. i think its deffo more of a personal inclination, absolutely, but mmm...

- and see obviously tos does centre kirk in that way but im not so... mad about that? because it is, like, a scaled down cast: kirk, bones and spock are the main characters and it doesnt pretend any differently you know? i think my problem is when its like... an ensemble show. and moreover i think i also just dont care so much for a character, with picards personality, being at the helm of a show either. i think i'd be obsessed with him if he wasn't- but mm.... i dont know. i dont know.

- and i think the thing i am concerned abt is how the tng movies will kinda focus on him entirely and like. that IS my assumption but i guess it just hasnt made me so motivated to watch them - among other reasons why i havent finished the tos movies, alongside. and i think that its deffo like- THIS IS .... you know again. deffo more of a personal tastes thing. though there's faults there, they're definitely starker for me given my proclivities but overall i dont think its like. tng is like a terribly done show wrt the way it handles picard or that the movies would be if they centred him. its just not sth im gonna care abt i guess so why force it?

- and its like- when i say centre him... again its like i dont know. idk if thats the best way to articulate it. and furthermore, i guess- i guess my perspective of tng is also a little inherently warped overall bc i didnt enjoy it as much as many do . i know this to be the case <3 but mmhm... teehee.

- okay actually starting the film now

- OMGGG WOW<3 THE MATRIX LOOKING SILLYYYYYYY 😁

- also dear lord. i got the same shock when watching the tos movies initially- but the budget, or at least.... the money put into, like, the way its shot always kinda rattles me a little. like omg we're getting some funny little angles and special effects arent we. oh teeehee. oh youuu guyyssss must be having so much fun!!! <3

- WHAT THE DICKENS

- BEVS... YOUR HAIR. NAURRR!!! TROI! YOUR HAIR! NAUURRRRRR SAY IT ISNT SO!

- im going to throw up. why is him fucking blasting opera music with his eyes shut as the glasses shake so funny. bald man anxiety.

- sniff sniff. also i dont like this enterprise design. i feel like shes just a little dark.... a little grungy. and dont get it twisted oh im a grunge girl im always a fan. but goodness me. isnt it a little sniff sniff SAD?

- data said hell? data? sniff sniff...

-THAT IS NOT ADAM SCOTT IS IT YOU ARE LYING TO ME

- HE SCARED ME SO!!! HIS STUPID LITTLE VOICE SCARED ME SO TERRIBLY LIKE GOOD FUCKING HEAVENS.

- also that other bloke looked weirdly like chris pine. the hell.

- ANYWAYS CRAZY FOR ADAM SCOTT . HE KNOWS HOW TO PLAY A MAN HAVING A FUCKING ANXIETY ATTACK. THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HIS VOICE THAT SOUNDS LIKE HES IN A CRISIS. LIKE INHERENTLY.

- OH THEIR UNIFORMS OH-

LOH WORF I LOVE YOUR LITTLE ONESIE, SO HELP. I KNOW THEYRE ALL WEARING THEM BUT THERES SOMETHING ABOUT IT ON HIM THATS GIVING MOM ITS MY TURN ON XBOX

- MAYBE ITS BC HES A BIG STRAPPIN LAD SO ITS JUST.... TUGGING CERTAINLY. IM NOT SURE. THE WAIST LOOKS REALLY HIGH UP ON HIS AND ITS FITTING WEIRDLY IT LOOKS TODDLERSQUE FOR REALS

- im crazy for riker and worf. because its like riker is just a bloke isnt he just. we love riker hes our big funny bloke. but in the vicinity of worf he has this sleeper agent "im justt a little guyyyy you wouldnt hit a little guy 😁" mode that activates sometimes. but only then and never anytime else bc it would never ever work otherwise bc its soooo not a good fit on him. unless worf is there acting as his little guy lubricant so it DOES fit right and proper

- i love bullshit time mechanics.

- can i say the soundtrack guy is having the time of their fucking life. like do do do do do. like literally no so true girlie pop.

- OH SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT PICARD. THAT MAN KNOWS HOW TO WEAR A FUCKING COAT! DASHING TODAY, SIR. I CAN BARELY VCONTAIN THE URGE TO SLAP YOUR HEAD.

- THAT PRETTY LADY SAID A BAD FUCKING WORD?

- e

- e

- e

- e

- e

- e

- e everyone remember 19 minutes in where data does the funny fucking jumo that just sent me insane ofr soem reason

- i have to clip it when im dome watching

- data babygirl i cant tell how i feel about this outfit its like really like it does serve cunt but im not sure about it for you and furthermore i cant see a gilet without those tory memes coming to mind. sorry....

- "please, no lectures about the prime directive" with all due respect data just fucking fell from the ceiling in a lego figure pose and snapped to the ground and just stalked at her despite an onslaught of bullets AND you were all talking quite loudly about the fucking enterprise without checking shit... girlies we cant pretend we cant i love it i love silly trek logic but oh please!

- Is it me or is geordi fucking built right now

- tHE LOOK DATA IS GIVING HIM....-

- i think data should be allowed to just call him a fucking freak if he wants to. you know picard barely holds back when saying shit to him. i think data should just say something completely loathsome and when picard is like p. pardon he should be like you heard me you bald little twat.

-HELP troi is so funny. i hope they let her be her funny self.

-"captain. we might have to consider the fact he was killed in the attack." WHY DID SHE SOUND LIKE A MOTHER GENTLY TELLING HER CHILD THAT THEY CANT GO TO MCDONALDS. AND WHY DID PICARD RESIGN LIKE A KID WHO JUST REALISED THEYRE NOT GOING TO FUCKING MCDONALDS. GIRLS...

- yes YES YES ITS THE DOCTOR HIIIII HHIII. i missyou on voyager. sorry i havent been watching voyager i just kept getting vaguely frustrated with it. do you understand? kiss on the lips if you understand?

- THE SHEER AMOUNT OF SWAG ZEFRAM POSSESSES. YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS IS THE SAME BLOKE FROM TOS?

- YOU KNOW HOW, LIKE... sooo often shows will write prequels for characters and the such and they'll just butcher them entirely. how did this get it backwards. you made him fuck righteously whereas his later self is what one may call a fucking menace.

- OH SO DATADOES HAVE THE EMOTION CHIP? HUH. <- guy who did not watch generations

- again i dont care it makes me mad i already rambled abt why i dont like it but fucking whatever grrrr.

- so when they assimilate you into the borg do they not assimilate your ass with it

- sorry that was mean but if you cannot see from this blurry screenshot the borg costumes really fucking squashed their tushes right in like help...

- BESITE DATA DID YOU JUST SNAP THAT BLOKES NECK?

- BESTIE DATA LOBOTOMY TIME...

- ALSo geordi without his visor is odd getting used to it BUT i will say his facial structure is really nice. not tht it wasnt before but obvs the visor hid his cheekbones a little bit there

- im actually insane for zeffy's bejazzled backwards cap. im actually dripping with lust for it. no wonder solkar was so quick to gape fo rhim.

- WOWWWW THEY SAID THE NAME OF THE SHOW

- lily is also sooo pretty.... sorry to stop it at all to say that but she is like hell.

- also im not sure how i feel about there being a "borg queen". i think i found it more interesting when there borg were leaderless and just sort of...spread. i mean thats the vibe i always got. that all being said she's uhm. hehehehe. well uhm she is. (twirls hair)

- actually put a pin in that i do have an oc that i did wanna repurpose for FOREVER into a trek borg oc of some descriptor ...maybe one day girlies

- WHY IS THIS...

- MA'AM WOULD YOU PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM MY BESTIE.

- I DONT WANT TO SEE DATA CREAM HIS FUCKING JUMPSUIT?

- every time they try to give picard a swaggy moment it just flops for me. theres just something so utterly swagless about him. and you see theres the thing yes. i mean many different things when i say swaggless. sometimes its a pathetic little man all alone and wet and he's mine. sometimes thst means cradling him sometimes that means affectionately poking him with sticks. sometimes it means zefram from tos as opposed to the zeffo ofthis movie. but with picard its like you just dont have swag/. yuou will never have swag. its fine. you can be a little swagless man. but trying to have swag it just does not work.... so dont trye girlie. just be bald and look pretty.

- the NOODLE processor? :3 hahaha i have one of those its called my TUMMY. lol. jk i know you said neural, picard, but i like to be silly. dont you like to be silly?

- WHY THE FUCK IS BARCLAY HERE?

- lily just looking up, horrified, at worf, and him being like "I am a klingon🧍‍♂" whys that so funny to m

-YESe YES

- YES YES YES THESE BIG SILLY SUITS ARE EXACGTTTLLYYY WHAT IM LOOKING FOR OH TEEEHEEEE. ALSO STOP IT PICARD DONT MAKE WORF GO INTO ZERO GRAV DIDNT YOU HEAR HE WILL GET A POORLY FUCKING TUMMY

- ALSO data just going mental is my favourite but i will say sigh again i hate emotion chip data thats not my little fucking guy...

-...

- ....

- .......

- . theu are not bsout to make data shag....

- TW ON MOVIES FOR DATA HABING SEX PLEASE

- DOCTOR SOONG INITIALLY FOR YOUR BAD FATHERING TECHNIQUES I SENTENCE YOU TO 5 YEARS IN JAIL. HOWEVER FOR GIVING HIM A FUNCTIONING COCK AND BALLS I COMMEND YOUR BRAVERY BUT I WILL SENTENCE YOU TO BE SHOT IN THE HEAD.

- also i again say: i dont know how if eel about the borg queen. i get it for, like, the purposes of a movie? it makes sense to have her as a character. but again conceptually i dont know... i find it boring. i think it removes some of the inherent intrigue of the borg itself.

- and even WEORSE WHEN YOU HAVE HER HORNY FOR MY DEAR DATA MY GOODNESS FUCKING ME HELP

- EVEN IF IM A LITTLE HORNY FOR HER MYSELF LIKE LISTEN

- IM A LITTLE GUY

- AND DATA IS A LITTLE GUY SO SURE SO TRUE BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN LADIES!

-literally lily get his ass get his ass GET HIS ASS

- my maths lecturer once parodied his little speech he makes to lily there if anyones wondering

- "actually i never read it" CAN WE LITERALLY KEEP LILY CAN SHE BE PART OF THE CREW NOW. OBSESSED WITH HER.

- the way i sobbed so bad in st iii when they blew up the enteprise but with this enterprise im like LOLLLLLL

- "DATA?" RESPECTFULLY DID YOU ONLY JUST REMEMBER HIM NOW, JEAN LUC?

- HES BEEN GETTING SLOPPY

- ZEFRAM BLASTING HIS TUNES I LOVE HIM SO BAD

- okay thank god hes staying behind for data but nonetheless this is so funny like oh god yes data is ina pretty tricky situation but i think he did get ridden robo style

- HELP I DOTNKNOW WHY BUT ITS SO SCARY TO THINK OF HIM AS BEING YOLKED

- LIKE OMG NO... PUT THEM FUCKING GUNS AWAY! FREAK!

- ALSO SORRY BUT THIS ENTIRE SCENE IS SO FUNNY WITH THEM ALL JUST TUGGING EAH OTHER DOWN LIKE HELP . WHY IS THAT LIKE. TICKLING ME SO . IM OBSESSED IM INSANE LIKE ITS THE BIG CLIMAX AND ITS LIKE JUST PULLING ON YA DAMN TROUSERS

- THE FACT HES KIND OF JUST HOLDING HER WRIGGLING TECHNO SKULL AND JUST SNAPPED HER SPINE OUT IS KINDA FUCKED YEAH. I MEAN SHE WAS A BIT EVIL WERENT SHE. BUT THAT WAS LIKE MY GOODNESS FUCKING GRACIOUS.

- data got that cursed dick by the way all the girlies to take it for a spin its like.... look where they fucking end up . my goodness fucking me! what are you....

- OMG HIIII ZEFFY HERE;S YOUR BOYYYFRIENDD LOL

- do you guys ever think... my goodness how old is zefram supposed to be again. hes not gen z is he. good fucking lord hes younger.

- HIII SOLKAR OH MY GODDDD LITERALLY STUNTING ON THEM WHAT DID I SAY HE REALLY DRESSED TO IMPRESS

- (zefram and solkar shaking hands) and picard is like "i think its time we made a discrete exit" . alright? fucking homophobe?

- CAN WE NT GET HIM A FUCKING HAT OR SOMETHING. WHAT IF HIS FUCKING WIRING GETS A BIT CHILLY....

- OKAY WHEW thats ending. i enjoyed it. its nice. :3 i liked the tos films more bc of my bias but it was cute.

- though again. sigh. i rlly wish the others guys would get a focus for once. i think thts again one of my things yknow. like goodnessss meeeee.... can i not hear from my little guys? sniff sniff. and- i'd talk more of it but its SO late now you must understand. wwellit is not but i have a train to catch in like 6 hours and im not ready LOL

[fizzysquish]

I'd really like to hear about your opinion on the ahit fandom if youre ok with sharing? love your writing by the way!!

Oh wow I actually didn't expect anyone to wanna know yifhfkhck

And thank you!

Alright this is.. Gonna be long and most likely have some spelling errors every now and then but bear with me.

Tw- talk of pedophilia, swear words

Tldr at the very bottom

The ahit fandom..

...sucks

But also doesnt? Its kind of hard to explain. In general, if you just glance at the fandom it will either come across as pure or as a shit show. This fandom has some serious problems.

This fandom has a lot of drama happy people in it. Im not going to name names or anything, cause there's no point, but it does. A single scroll through the tags will tell you that much. And this isnt me saying 'people can't have opinions' or what have you. What im saying is that there are people in this fandom who live just to stir up drama and make others angry.

Or, in a lot of cases, instead of just saying a persons opinion, they'll swear up a storm and say they hate certain people or call certain types of fans 'the problem with the fandom' and like.. That just makes you sound like an asshole honestly. And it hurts people, too.

(And nobody can tell me it doesn't. Ive had to reassure too many venting and upset friends because of it. It hurts people.)

Also, because you know I have to mention this and it fits perfectly after this first paragraph- subcon. Snatcher.

I legitimately do not understand why some people hate snatcher so much. And I also cannot understand why some people will specifically target snatcher fans at times.

Snatcher is a big comfort character for a lot of people. Wether its for personal reasons (ex- mine is because of my own past dealing with abuse and trauma), or if its just because they make someone happy.

Snatcher is a comfort character, and the whole story surrounding subcon is so so interesting and fun to explore? And so what if people enjoy it? I can understand that it can get frustrating seeing so much of it, especially if you like something else, but that is no reason to target snatcher fans (or.. Any fans in general) and/or make people feel bad for having fun.

Fuck, thats how you make people leave the fandom entirely. I understand it can get frustrating, but just.. Try to be nicer? Try not to make people feel bad for having fun? Please?

And before anyone tells me "it's not about that!", i want to point out that I often see posts like "don't let the snatcher fans see this-" and other things along that.

If you want me to believe its not about that, prove it. Cause as far as i can tell, it certainly is.

(Also as a note- who cares is someones thirsty??? Like

Just block them and avoid if it bugs you so much?? It's not that hard dude)

-THIS PARAGRAPH MENTIONS PEDOPHILLIA, SKIP IF NEEDED-

Another serious thing to mention is the pedophilia in this fandom. Feel free to skip this part  if it makes you uncomfortable, but its something i need to talk about.

There are pedophiles in this fandom. Ive seen the art and the fics (no matter how many times i scrub my eyes, because its disgusting and horrible and just- eugh-). There are pedophiles here and its easy to come across them because they just.. Aren't afraid to post in main tags. People follow them. People support them. Granted, not everyone, and generally most people know to avoid em, but they're still there. They havent been kicked out or ostracized. And it disgusts me.

I know this whole paragraph could be argued that "that doesn't represent the fandom!" Or whatever but.. This is a younger audiences welcome game guys. Its advertised as 'the cutest 3d platformer!'. Kids can and do play this game.

There is pedophilia in this fandom, and i feel its important to mention.

-END OF PARAGRAPH-

Also, some people in this fandom just.. Suck. Plain and simple. Some people in this fandom are just genuine assholes. And said asshole just like harassing others and causing problems. There's a literal shit ton of drama and problems with this fandom, and honestly it's.. So dumb??

This is literally just a video game and people are just having fun. If there's a problem, treat it like a grown up and either ask the causes to stop and why, or block and move on. Simple.

Now lets move onto the good parts of this fandom, yeah?

First of all- there are some serious sweethearts and amazing people in this fandom. While there are some that suck, there are more that are actually just here for a good time and to make good content.

Ive met some of the nicest people ivs ever known thanks go this fandom. Ive created friends who I seriously consider family. And most people ive talked with or even just ran across have been pretty cool.

This fandom is also generally very welcoming to new people (minus the assholes), ive noticed. Some people get into it really easily just because eveyones generally friendly and supportive. Which is always great!

Also, the fanworks people in this fandom create. Can i just talk about how fucking talented people are??? Its pretty amazing to see how people create things for this fandom.

People will take the story that gears for breakfast showed and they'll run with it, and create these amazing au’s and stories and 'what ifs' from it. Its just.. So amazing to watch people use what we've been given just weaved it into something.

(And this isnt even going over the mods and the stories those create, which always amaze me.)

So with all that laid out, do i think the fandom good or bad?

...i think its both.

The fandom itself has some serious problems in it. It gets unnecessary drama nearly every other month or so for no reason. There are some truly disgusting people and some absolute assholes, but the majority of people are actually pleasant, fun to be around, and welcoming. As long as you be careful of who you follow and use critical thinking skills, its not so bad.

Im not going to lie to someone and say it's all honkey dory. In this fandom, you will inevitably interact with either a creep, an asshole, or both at some point. There is a likely chance that you will have your feelings hurt in some way in this fandom. Ive see it, ive heard about it, ive experienced it.

All that being said, if you curate your viewing, follow people that seem/are cool, and use the block feature (don't. Debate it, if youre unsure about someone just block em)... Its a very fun fandom filled with both heartfelt creations and memes, and has plenty of potential new friends.

So its both good and bad, yeah.

Tldr-

Fandom has lotsa issues but overall is fun, just make sure curate your experience for yourself and dont let what drama pops up or what assholes say get to you.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Comparing RWBY and YGO DM: The Handling and Evolution of Themes

Hey! Its been a hot minute since I last posted anything RWBY-related but Im laying in my bed right now and Im sick and bored so I guess we're doing this. Today I will do my best to analyze what I percieve to be the main themes and messages of both of these shows, or more specifically, how theyre handled narratively. Im mostly focusing on that part because, while these series do have similar themes and messaging, they are still a few things in which they are wildly different. And with that, lets start with this essay-post-thing!

1. Theres something we need to adress first

Okay so, before we can really talk about this, theres something I feel the need to clarify here: Neither of these stories was "planned from the beginning".

Now, I dont think a story being planned from the beginning or not nesscessarily makes the story any better or worse by default, however, it is still important to acknowledge because the way the story is planned is going to affect every facet of it. Things are not going to be foreshadowed properly, things are gonna be set up only for nothing to come of it, the story might drastically change directions, characters might act differently, etc, etc.

And, this is bit off-topic but, it's much better to just admit that the story was not planned than trying to pretend that it was. Like, there are a lot of reasons why I tend to be so forgiving towards YGO even though its not very good, but one of them is definitely the fact that, as far as Im aware atleast, the guy who wrote it isnt pretending to have had this big master plan all along and neither is the fandom. With RWBY on the other hand... yeaaaah, its kinda the opposite. From what Ive seen of RWBYs fandom, there seems to be this pretty popular narrative that everything was planned even though it clearly wasnt. Thats pretty bad and honestly lowers my opinion of the writers so much more than if they would just admit to not having a proper plan.

Like, I initially consumed YGO like this: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh (aka Season 0), like, a quarter of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga (I still havent finished it)

In all three of these we have the character of Yami Yuugi, or just Yami. Broadly speaking, he is an ancient egyptian gamer spirit who lives in a magical puzzle that has not been solved for 3000 years until this highschooler named Yuugi Mutou comes along and solves it, thus setting him free and allowing him to possess Yuugi and have access to the vague magical powers of the puzzle.

In Duel Monsters he's perfectly fine most of time, morally speaking. There is an instance of him almost murdering a guy and its a bit unclear what exactly happens to those he mindcrushes but overall he's very much a pretty good guy. In Season 0 most of what he does is set up these games for bad people, where they will go insane no matter what they do. From how I understand this whole Shadow Game, Penalty Game stuff, if you lose a Shadow Game, you get violent and intense hallucinations and you will always cuz yknow, gamer spirit. But if you try to cheat, which most of the bad people do in this show, you get violent and intense hallucinations as a punishment.

Since the two anime are generally considered two different continuities, its perfectly fine that Yamis characterization is wildly different in both of them. But in the manga both of these characterizations appear, basically one after the other with no real arc or consequences, for that matter. Why is that? Simply put, someone thought it was a good idea to try to turn an episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror manga into a more traditional, more plot-driven battle shounen. From what Ive heard, it was apparently largely because of network interference or something, but the point is, it changed directions incredibly drastically with little planning and everyone knows this and I can understand that for the most part.

In RWBY we have the character of Blake Belladonna, who, in the first 3 volumes/seasons atleast, was this aloof, more toned down loner-type character with a pretty strong sense of justice. She's an in-universe marginilized racial minority and she clearly cares about racial injustice. The way its initially framed makes it seem like she had a very hard life and no stable support system, which is what eventually pushed her to join a Civil Rights group/Terrorist organization (good god, the Faunus subplot is so awful, I could write a whole essay about it but Im already de-railing rn so I'll just save that for later).

Then, in volumes 4-5 it turns out her father is actually like, the mayor or chief of this island-place called Menagerie and she grew up in this big mansion with multiple guards/servants. Oh and also, apparently "space is a commodity" on there, so theres that. She still retains large parts of her personality but she's kinda like, worse somehow I think. I cant really describe it in a meaningful way but I hope you get what Im saying anyway. Then in Volume 6 she confronted her emotional abuser Adam (sorry for not mentioning him sooner but yeah, he was like, her abusive boyfriend, which is something that a lot of people disagree with but I wont really say anything about it either way because I dont really feel any specific way) with her friend, Yang, and ended up killing him.

After all that, she pretty much lost the rest of her personality, as well as her arc about all the Faunus stuff. She just kinda became the meek, generically nice, recovering abuse victim. Why? Well, the actual reason is that they didnt plan out shit and are just kinda flying by the seat of their oversized clown-pants and if they and the fandom just admitted it, I would have less of an issue. I still wouldnt be as forgiving towards RWBY as I am towards YGO because the crux of the issue, for me, is just that I dont particulary like RWBY but also like. Do you really expect me to take MKEK seriously as writers after admitting to not have a timeline because iT wOuLd CaUsE pLoThOlEs?

However, since they want us to believe that everything was planned out from the beginning, the explaination would be.... Idk, they deliberately butchered one of their main characters?? Because.. they hate her?? Maybe????

So yeah, that was quite a detour however, I would like you to keep this mind going forward.

2. Themes of the Early Series'

First, what do mean by 'Early Series' for both of these shows respectively? Well, for YGO that would have to be Season 0 or if youre reading the manga, everything pre-Duelist Kingdom. Basically, the part of the series thats a episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror series.

For RWBY that would be the first three Volumes, also known as the Poser-Era. Back then it was just kinda an action series that took place at Anime Warrior Academy (also known as Beacon) with some pretty bare minimum worldbuilding, character-driven plots and developments but now its more of an epic high-fantasy story with more of an emphasis on plot as opposed to just action.

The themes and messages in Early YGO are kinda vague, very confusing to me and if you were to follow any of it literally that would be pretty bad. For now Im just gonna say the main themes are Friendship and Identity and mostly focus on the Identity aspect.

Now, it took me a little while to figure out RWBYs deal but I think the main themes for Volumes 1-3 are also Friendship and Heroism. Once again, I'll mostly focus on Heroism and touch on Friendship more briefly later.

I dont have much more to add to YGOs themes right now, so I'll briefly go over Heroism in RWBY.

In RWBYs setting there are these man-eating monsters called Grimm that have basically infected the planet. In order to deal with that, they have people called huntsmen and huntresses that kill them and protect people. Theyre trained at special academies like Beacon and go on missions there and stuff like that. Our four main characters, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang, are training to become huntresses and one day they go on this mission to clean up a grimm infested city block with one of their teachers. Obviously, that takes a long time so they have to camp out in one of the empty houses. Weiss, Blake and Yang cant sleep because theyve been thinking about this question that their teacher asked them when they were fighting grimm: "Why do you want to become a huntress?"

They have a heart to heart and we find out about their motivations; Weiss wants to bring honour back to her family, Blake want to distance herself from the White Fang (that terrorist organization I mentioned earlier) and as an extension from Adam, Yang wants to have a life of adventure. They also talk about why Ruby wants to be a huntress and it turns out that she judt wants to help people. Unlike the others, she has no motivation besides that. We're meant to listen to that and look at her as a sort-of personification of Heroism: kind, but not naive, strong and most of all, selfless. The others on her team are not portayed as bad for not being like Ruby by any means but we are clearly meant to admire her the most out of all of them.

Okay, now comes the part Ive been looking forward to the most:

3. How did these themes evolve in the Modern Series'?

Alright, before we can really delve into the way they evolved in YGO I'll have to give you a brief summary of the character progression. At the start of DM, during the Duelist Kingdom arc, Yami Yuugi is just that; A darker Yuugi. Hes more confident, bolder, his voice is deeper, hes somehow taller, more ruthless, all that good stuff. Notably, he doesnt actually seem more skilled than Yuugi even at the start of this story, but he's still dependent on Yami. Yami on the other hand, has no identity of his own or even hints at one at this point. He's just The Other Yuugi.

Then during the Battle City arc, they find out that Yami was actually a pharao prior to being sealed in the puzzle, he just didnt know because of amnesia, I guess. So now they need to find out his real name and then send him to the afterlife because hes meant to be dead, but not before saving the world from being swallowed by darkness, which is also a thing they have to do now.

Then we finally get to the Memory World arc, where Yami, Yuugi and the rest of the gang astralproject to ancient egypt via puzzle magic. Yami is trying to figure out what the hell is going on and who all these familiar people are, while Yuugi & Co are trying their best to help him. Then some weird shit happens and it turns out that all of that is not just Yamis sealed away memories, but also a giant D&D Shadow Game that will destroy the world if Yami loses. So now theres Pharao!Yami who is still clueless on the metaphorical and literal playing field and Player!Yami, who is kinda controlling himself now? I guess?? Yamis opponent, The Spirit of The Ring, has something similar to that going on where hes both controlling and properly participating in the game. So Player!Yami is now fighting against Player!TSoTR, Pharao!Yami is now fighting against Thief King Bakura (who is like, the human, ancient egyptian version of the Ring Spirit) and Yuugi is now fighting against Yami Bakura (who is like, the human, modern japanese version of the Ring Spirit). Yuugi gets Yamis real name, he and the gang go over to Pharao!Yami and tell him his name, meanwhile Player!Yami is also somehow helping as well and they defeat the Ring Spirit, thus saving the world. Then they travel to modern Egypt, the Ceremonial Duel happens and Yuugi wins, sending Yami to the Afterlife where he can finally rest and that was the series!

I originally wanted to recount the stuff that was going on with the Ring Spirit and his host as well because they parallel eachother, but this summary is already far too long and I think youll get the point without me needing to explain any more.

My point here is, that the story went from being vaguely about Identity, maybe? to being very clearly about Self-Discovery and Learning to Be Independent. I think this is a very good way to evolve the messaging of your story. How does RWBY track on that?

Well, uh... its not great. I will acknowledge that they have tried to introduce new themes and ideas since, even though I wont really be talking about them in this post. But yeah, the whole Heroism thing really regressed.

Like, I didnt explicitly say it when I was explaining grimm earlier, but theyre not going away. The grimm have always been there and people who sign up to become huntsmen and huntresses are effectively signing up for a job that will never truly be done, no matter what they do. Characters like Ruby and even more minor ones like Phyrrah have shown us that that doesnt matter when youre a hero. No life isnt worth saving, no grimm isnt worth killing, no criminal isnt worth arresting. Then, in volume 6 they find out about Salem. Salem is the Big Bad of the show, shes immortal, controls the grimm and is supposed to be very powerful.

What do our heroes do? They give up. Sike! They were just mindcontrolled by monsters or some shit, of course they didnt give up their mission (which is to bring an Important Macguffin to a city called Atlas, sorry I didnt mention it)!

But then they arrive in Atlas (which is llike, a city thats floating over another city called Mantle) and yknow, they do some plot stuff thats not really important right now until the city gets invaded by Salem and this big grimm army she has.

What do our heroes do? Well, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and some side characters are chilling, drinking tea in a mansion and Yang and the B Team were actually trying to do something, but even those efforts seem incredibly minimal.

Oh wait, I also forgot to mention that Ironwood (a fairly minor, vaguely antagonistic character up until now) wanted to lift Atlas even higher to save Atleasian civilians from danger while leaving Mantle vulnerable to Salems invasion.

What would be the most heroic thing to do?

A) Let Ironwood lift Atlas, get as much support as they can down to Mantle and save as many Mantle civilians as they can from the invasion

B) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas but then split up in order to protect both Atlas and Mantle civilians

C) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas and then dont do anything else

Congrats! If you choose C, you think exactly like the writers!

And I just

This is so mindboggling to me, I feel like I shouldnt even have explain how this is bad. And like, it wouldve been so easy to actually make them seem herokc through their actions, to make it seem like they did try but no.

I have never seen a central theme be this botched, how in the world did they do that? Why did they think it was a good idea for Ruby "The Embodiment of Heroism" Rose to sit in a mansion doing nothing, no planning, no organizing just ..... God, how are they this bad? Like, this doesnt even have anything to do with it being planned in any way, this is just straight up incompetence

4. Very briefly touching on friendship

The friendship is awful and its not solely because they all have the same opinions. They barely interact with eachother outside their designated pairs which leads to it all feeling incredibly hollow. Theyre also practically indistingushable from one another now, which is a shame because it wasnt always like that. Like, I dont think the characters were that well-developed in earlier volumes but they were very well-characterized. But now we've gotten to a point where you can literally copy and paste one characters dialogue onto another and literally nothing changes, it really sucks.

5. Some closing words

Damn, this took way longer than I thought it would and now Im pretty exhausted. I have no idea how yall always write these but props to you! I feel like this ended up a bit rambly but overall, Im pretty proud.

Please let me know what you think of the points I brought up! Id also really appreciate some tips on how to get better at these longer posts because I am planning on writing more in the future (not the near future, probably but yknow).

Thats all I have to say for now, thanks for reading!

[princeseerow]

ok so i havent been writing up any reviews of my animorphs reads lately because i havent been reading but i did finish 39: The Hidden last night at about 3 am and....... oh boy

here are some incredibly disjointed thought

(didnt you used to be able to add readmores on mobile?? now i cant find it. sorry for the long post ahead)

do all cassie books become solo adventures at some point? well no probably not, but reading this book did make me wonder if she's the team member with the most missions that involve her being by herself/without the help of any of the other animorphs for long stretches of time. or maybe thats just par for the course for the animorphs as a whole. my next go round reading these books ill have to make note of that

shout out to the chee for covering for the kids at home. it makes me wonder why they dont do it more often, but then again i guess that would be too easy and not interesting enough to read

on a similar vein -- the events of this book take place within 24 hours?? god these poor kids must be SO tired. i desperately want a book thats just them getting some well deserved rest for a hundred and fifty pages :,(

as mentioned in my other post buffa human is terrifying in execution, and conceptually pretty ridiculous now that ive had some time to digest it, but i couldnt help but feel for it after a while. its herd-like connection with cassie was kind of sweet, and the idea of morphing by accident and having no idea why or whats happening or even how to control it is so chilling. just thinking about this poor creature and what happens to it makes my heart hurt

.....but then it starts making human noises with its human mouth and i just get creeped out all over again just thinking about it. and although the book glosses smooth over it, buffa human is absolutely butt naked in its chapman morph. these kids have seen their vice principal naked. im glad no one points this out

i do have a similar feeling of sympathy for ant cassie, but it is MUCH more horrifying in just about every regard than buffa human, so i cant be too sympathetic towards it. i agree with the animorphs, ants are the fucking worst. (would be cool though to see ant cassie coming into its own individuality from its perspective, given that for its entire life all its known is a hivemind. tho i think the first ant book had some shades of this? its been a few years now... reading this series has been a SLOW process for me)

this is a problem ive had with all the books actually, but i had an especially hard time in this one trying to figure out just like.... the layout of their locations? i couldnt parse where anything was relative to anything else at any given moment, and it doesnt help that for most of the book its either a) cassie in the back of a truck for an indeterminate amount of time going an unknown distance or b) in the woods.... somewhere..... . (but this isnt specific to animorphs either and could just be a me thing lol. visualizing things is just hard idk. does anyone else have this problem reading animorphs?

animorphs body horror doesnt usually get to me but this book's insistence on describing skulls splitting and bones grinding really got to me. eughghhhgh

overall it was uhh.... well. it was definitely an experience. not sure if its one id read again, not because it was bad but because the existential terror of the buffa human's existence (and just. Everything about ant cassie) is something id love to never witness again

[unfortunatematchups]

(Hello is this blog dead because I haven't seen you post since February)

nope, this blog aint dead. i have it open on a browser tab as long as im online to check on any new asks and messages. im going to leave a short explanation here for those who dont want to waste their time.

weve been busy with other interests and ive gotten something like a writers block. matchup block? since im the primary writer here, theres pretty much no activity as long as im not writing. thats it. no reason, nothing to do with personal problems. just a block. 

keep reading for the real reason. you might not like it, but here it is.

im going to use these john sprites to convey my emotion so it might clear up any doubts on how im feeling. lets start with the process of how i write a match.

this is what a draft looks like. i write out how i would rant about this pairing, errors and all, then i leave it for the next day to come back to this and clean this draft into a polished, three-pointer paragraph. the thing is, im the only one doing this, so its obviously going to take long. i dont mind, i love to type and see something spawn from my effort. 

the problem? these rants are people-specific. right. whatever im rambling about in the draft, its about the ask and the ask only. it wouldnt fit if you crammed it into another ask, it wouldnt make a lick-a-sense if it was used to answer someone else. but, when i start to polish it up with clear and coherent sentences, suddenly it becomes… static. it becomes plain and simple, uninteresting and linear. think of it like youre hearing about a book from someone you know and trust versus a review. the person you know describes why the book is great with a lot of passion and love, but theres a lot of errors in delivery and some awkward bits they havent flushed out yet. 

nevertheless, its enjoying and persuasive, because you can see how they love it so much to the point where it gets them like that. they dont plan out how theyll describe the book to you word by word, because theres no need to. seeing how it gets them excited gets you excited, so you buy their faith in the book. 

what about a review? its clean, its cut, its perfect in delivery. it has a flow, introducing you to the story and overall appeal, then maybe it digs down for a spoiler or two. it gels with you in a simple fashion, doesnt quite have that connection a passionate ramble has. because its professional. 

thats what ive been making this blog to be. professional. i answer the request with a polished, pretty and perfect answer. theres no personal connection. i could take a match, swap out a couple of words, maybe cut out a bit, and it would be clear for another match. it feels static to write those paragraphs, and it progressively gets worse each time i repeat the process. im chipping away at something so close, so personal and unique into something dull and professional because i want it to look clean.

but thats my end of the problem. i dont like how it comes out, so what? people enjoy it. they must be, seeing how theres fifty three fucking asks for matchups and 73 followers. 

i wont show all the asks i have in the inbox, but ill tell you what majority, if not all of them, sound like. 

“I’m bi/pan”, “I have brown hair/eyes”, “I’m chubby/short”, “I like art/gaming/reading/writing”, “I’m shy around people I don’t know, I’m crazy around people I know”, “I’m a nerd”, “I have ADHD/Anxiety”. 

of course, there are some exceptions. not everything i say is as is, but from 50+ asks, these are what about three quarters of them sound like. there are personal differences, like music tastes and obscure hobbies, but the general gist is there. 

im not going to say anything about the sexuality orientation, because im in a friend group where majority, if not all, are not cishets. yes, people like art and gaming. 

but thats it? these descriptors are such shallow answers. i can personalise a match for you, sure, but does it feel like its right? you like gaming. so what, do you like ALL games? from FPS to Dating sims to Horror games to Sports games to Adult games? do you like ALL art? Surrealism, sculpture, comics, abstract, even those where they splash paint and call it a day? really? i dont think im asking for a lot when it comes to being specific. some asks literally just go ‘im a bi female, 5′3, i like gaming and drawing, im sometimes shy but i can be sassy at times’. 

with everyone being so similar and vague, how am i supposed to give a match i feel is right? i might as well take everyones favourite boy david elizabeth strider and talk about how he likes your art and how he likes gaming and oh isnt it so great that you two like music. 

there are some unique ones, and its pretty obvious which ones they are because ive put in more love into them. and i havent been able to do that to many asks. 

and the physical descriptions. while im sure some of the characters do have types and preferences, i dont care for appearances. i dont care if youre fat or skinny, i dont care if youre tall or short, brown hair or blonde. you being morbidly obese or morbidly skinny may affect the match depending on how i feel the characters might respond to someone with those physical traits, but they shouldnt matter. 

i dont need how you look. i dont want how you look. its shallow and unimportant. it takes up space in the ask, because you could be using it to describe your personality or interests in detail. not that youre limit to one ask, you can send in an entire fucking fourteen page essay and id match you, as long as youre telling me something i can pair you with. 

telling me youre ‘chubby’ or ‘blonde’ doesnt help visualise shit. this shouldnt be new information to you or anyone else. writing shit like ‘he loves your curves!’ or ‘she likes how short you are because it makes you cute’ is bullshit and is simply self-serving nonsense. yes, its an additional bonus if your lover likes how youre short or fat, but that shouldnt be why theyre in love with you. a paragraph based on how much they like to hold you are appreciate your body is utter fucking nonsense. you appreciate your own body, and thats it. 

i dont feel inspired when i look at some of these asks. i dont feel like i should answer any of these because a) im not obligated to, this blog is just a side hobby and b) id be writing something i dont enjoy for people who might also not enjoy it. i dont deserve to sit at my laptop and write something i feel doesnt represent my work or ideas well, and the person who im matching doesnt deserve the half-assed boring paragraph of nonsense im pulling out of my ass just to clear the inbox. 

ive taken some time away from this blog and upon receiving this ask, i wanted to use the same old excuse every other blog uses: ‘we’ve been busy, so we went on an unannounced hiatus’. 

but thats not true. with the pandemic forcing lockdowns, theres essentially nothing else for us to do. if anything, this would mean that we have more time to write. 

so there it is. my truthful answer as to why nothings coming out of this blog.

part of this is my fault. i thought that maybe i could force myself to match all those vague asks that feel like theyre about the same person, just with a couple of changes. but i cant. i wont. im not going to keep writing shit i dont like, and im not going to keep giving half-assed matches, giving characters people are at the very least sure to be okay with. 

i want to write exciting, unique and adorable relationships. i thought that with the homestuck fandom being so vast and creative, maybe i would get the chance to meet and write for a couple of people who were just so different it would make pairings id never thought of. 

but nah, it looks like everything is the same. all the anon asks start to bleed together. the responses start becoming the same. im given descriptions that sound so tame, so generalised. like somehow, youre afraid of letting me know who you are as a person. or not, perhaps you just struggle with expressing yourself. thats why youre using anon to send in your ask, isnt it? 

i turned anon on because i wanted to respect privacy. i wanted people to be able to send in each and every detail about themselves while remaining behind a mask so they could get the best match without exposing every inch of themselves on a blog. maybe that was my mistake. 

ill leave the matches open, but im only going to do the ones that interest me. but if you decide that you dont give a fuck about the quality of the match, tell me or something. i have drafts that i can just post. maybe youd like that. 

-pretty obviously, mod olio.

[jynwalker]

honestly this may just be me being picky but ive kind of been bothered by something in the art of multiple fandoms and i need to get it off my chest :/

tw: racism, colorism (mentioned)

this isnt hate at all towards anybody’s art styles, or personal preferences, headcanons or anything at all. everyone is their own person and can do what they want, but this is personally hurtful to me so i wanted to share it anyways.

for all of you that don’t know me, im half mexican, half white. ive been told im too white to be mexican, and told im too mexican to be white. my (white) grandmother didn’t want me and my sibling speaking spanish or generally being ‘wetbacks’ around her. there weren’t a whole lot of mexican people in the books at this time (i didnt watch tv outside of like, spongebob), and my (mexican) father was in prison for a lot of my late primary and elementary school years, so i was already disconnected from my mexican family physically, & with my grandmothers horrible treatment and racism i became even more disconnected. most of my friends even knew i was mexican until i had known them for years, when i realized that i didnt need to be ashamed of the culture i was trying to ignore, and i began embracing it again. if i had seen less white people and more hispanic people in all of the books and movies i was watching, i wouldnt have tried so hard to forget who i am.

so when i see characters in my favorite book series and tv shows who are either confirmed or heavily implied to be hispanic or latino, i get really excited. and when i join the online fandom, i get really excited too. so its really quite disappointing to find out that tons of the artists making beautiful art of these characters... dont really know how to draw hispanic or latino characters. it makes me really sad to see that the representation that i thought i was getting isn’t really there in the fandom spaces.

theyre often not truly brown, just tan, and they typically dont have latino/hispanic features, overall they look nothing like their actual race; im not saying theres a specific way to look like a hispanic or latino person, because we all look different, but the representation of the one mexican character in a primarily white book series is really important to me! i wanted so badly to not be mixed when i was younger, and a lot of it was because i wasn’t seeing any characters like me in mainstream media. but its not really representation if the character just looks like a tan white person. i see lots of people in these same fandoms that im in spend tons of time learning how to draw african and asain features and skintones, yet spend zero time and effort on giving us hispanic and latino people features that arent eurocentric, white features.

overall, the point of this post is that its really hurtful to see my people be so poorly represented, and all i ask of you artists, and even the writers, is to learn about hispanic people. learn about latino people. we’re not just darker white people, we’re poc too, and we deserve the same energy you devote to respecting other poc identities. please.

[ellawritesficssometimes]

Counter to the large misconception that Hetalia is racist, Himaruya’s work goes through great lengths to evoke a sense of familiarity in readers. Many of us are immigrants or have parents/ grandparents who were immigrants. It’s a common fact of life, but what I’ve always admired about Hetalia is that there isn’t an asymmetric power imbalance between the personification and their citizens. By that, I mean that the personifications experience many of what we all go through. Our experiences are reflected in their own, allowing for a greater sense of relatability and stronger affective responses.

That said, let’s go over some examples.

America:

Growing up, America grew accustomed to being left alone for long periods of time. When it came to the settlement of the Wild West, he could no longer be a “crybaby.” It’s stated that this experience hardened him.

Source: Hetarchive (Bamboo Thicket, eng trans., Oct 9th, 2010) + Hetarchive, Notes & Etc.

Ex: He didn’t have many possessions.

Source: Hetarchive, Miscellaneous Extra Book. 

Ex: He would travel on foot for days in order to reach the polling stations.

Source: Hetascanlations, World Stars 156.

The most insight we are given on the impact that this part of his life had on his personality is when England questions if America mass produces to compensate for the poverty he experienced as a young child/ adult.

Source: Hetarchive, Christmas Event 2011. 

Lithuania:

Lithuania’s immigrant experience stemmed from poverty as well. Post–WW1, a large percentage of his population left the country to seek work in America. Lithuania was no exception to this and went to live with America. There, he did America’s clerical work and basically acted as his personal assistant.

Source: Hetarchive, Lithuania’s Out-Sourcing pt. 1.

The strips depicting Lithuania’s out-sourcing will always have a place in my heart, as he and America develop a close friendship. Both were lonely after losing close friends and partners (i.e., England and Poland). It was overall a good healing experience for them, but especially for Lithuania, who had previously lived with Russia.  

Of most importance is that this arc illustrates how America was and still continues to be built on the backs of hard-working immigrants who want nothing but a better life for themselves.

Romano:

Romano’s immigrant experience is probably the most profound concerning character development.

First, some contextualization is needed. Romano had previously been living with Spain. Just when it’s said that he grew comfortable living there, he was abruptly reunified with his brother and they were forced to live together after centuries of minimal contact. It is because of this historical rift that this same fragmentation is reflected in their personal relations.

Source: Hetascanlations, World Stars Chapter 20.

Rather than relying on Veneziano to support him, Romano decides to seek employment overseas in America during the Second Industrial Revolution.

Source: Hetascanlations, World Stars 58.

It’s a scary and foreign place to him. He’s on his own and must navigate things for himself. Not only that, but America immediately puts him to work in a janitorial position. Keep in mind that Romano was notorious for not keeping up with chores at Spain’s house.

Source: ibid.

To ease and process his anxiety, Romano relies on the one person who has ever really felt like home: Spain. Romano’s determination to work sparks surprise in Spain. Again, Romano was not exactly known for having a good work ethic.

Source: Hetascanlations, World Stars 73.

This experience of being an immigrant instilled a work ethic in Romano. He learned to become a hard and diligent worker, albeit only when he wants to. Still, it’s an improvement! Eventually, he finds a better job tailored specifically for him and becomes America’s cook.

Source: Hetascanlations, World Stars Chapter 59 & 121. 

Of most importance is that Romano’s time in America is still translated and seen in his present-day personality. Being an immigrant profoundly impacted him in the sense that he learned not only what hard work is but also the rewards of it. I would also argue that the latent themes of this arc mark Romano’s progression into adulthood, as he and his brother had just received their independence.

Source: Hetarchive, Christmas Event 2011.

All in all, the source material shows how Hetalia is anything but xenophobic and racist. Anyone who has read the comics would know that.