#this isn't to say that they have always done politics well because they most certainly haven't but still

[erme-maererme]

the thing about characters being too nice and lacking conflict is definitely because of the deliberate lack of engagement of the game with the politics of thedas. the bits of everyday interpersonal drama, some questions about factions are fine, they are there, but while the characters technically do represent different systems and social groups, but they don't have more tension or mistrust or dislike between each other for it. it would make sense if their amicability was the result of the journey, but they're just immediately friendly.

there's necromancy icky, and then there's i grew up in the necropolis full of necromancers because my family keeps killing each other to gain more power and the necromancers are just as involved so i'm done with them all. there's "you're from minrathous have you done blood magic? no? ok then" and there's "i have seen children sacrificied in those rituals this is what every blood mage does in the end".

the characters should clash when it comes to the systems and social groups they represent because they already are from all the different ones. this is how you can easily get a meaningful character development or a relationship development, and this is how you do wordbuilding. the companions are fun and all, but i wish they engaged with the structures they come from more

[evilminji]

Not my usual Fandom BUT...

You know what would be and always is fascinating/interesting/hilarious? For want of a nail type, "tiny change or little action spiral into great and sweeping change" type fics! ESPECIALLY when combined with my dearly beloved Self Insert troupe!

Because? I DO so love the Self Insert! Not so much for the "I can fix it" or power fantasy, as the ability to wander... a stranger in a strange land. Both familiar yet removed. Known to us yet... not. The major actors, major events, certainly. But the lives of the average person?

The noodle shop owner? The ship salesman? A janitor?

We know nothing about this strange new world from their point of view. What secrets can be found in this or that little shop, well off the common path. And it is FASCINATING! Especially if the Insert wasn't particularly FAMILIAR with the source material. Knew enough to get by, perhaps, too know they are in danger... but not enough to twist events to their favor. Assuming they even had the type of personality to TRY such things.

No, no...

What I? Want to see?

What I think would be FASCINATING?

Is a TRUE carry over. Adult mind to adult mind. Someone settled in their ways. Not bold and terribly adventurous, not willing to recklessly seek out danger and pain. No. They know they are going to die. They know they HAVE died. They are now a Jedi. And can feel the Force... and?

It just... helps.

They let go. Yes, perhaps some plans to protect the younglings. If they can. But their ultimately IS no death, only the Force. It is scary, they acknowledge, frightening even. But they... find calm. Acceptance.

They meditate. Open themselves up to the Force and give up their worry and fears, their regrets. All the terrible burdens they brought with them from their past life. It's honestly a bittersweet sort of relief. Ironic, that such a troubled age should be their most peaceful.

Of course... opening yourself up like that? Reaching out so deeply and with such conviction? It's like painting a "hey! I'm right here! I'm definitely going to listen if you say something to me!" Sign on your forehead, where the Force can see it.

So? It DOES.

But unlike Anikin? The Insert isn't a Fighter. So the Force doesn't tell them to fight. After all, every part has its place in the grand machine of Life. Every actor their place on the stage. Sometimes? To change the galaxy? All you need is someone to be on the right planet, at the right time, ready to hold a door open for the right person.

And that's it.

Not everything needs be grand sweeping actions. It can, instead, be the quiet drip drip drip of medicine applied behind a Sith Lord's back. To undo the damage he has wrought. So when comes the time for his plans to unfold? He does NOT find the support he was counting on to succeed. Instead he finds resistance.

But HOW? How would such a thing be DONE? By a YOUNGLING no less?

A youth with no power? Be it social, political, or physical? AND beneath the Sith Lord's very nose? Without being STOPPED? With said youngling being KILLED? Quite simply! Easily, in fact! By embracing the purest of the Light!

Fun.

Who among us, does NOT know of the parasocial relationship? The feeling of knowing someone, considering them "good" and "something like a friend" dispite never once having spoken to them? Being FOND of them? Wouldn't YOU not defend them? If someone sought to HURT them? KILL them? You KNOW them so very WELL don't you? This person speaks LIES about them!

And what of the Adorable Youngling? Small and Cute? Look at their little cheeks and tiny hands! How precious! Why, we have watched them GROW! They are practically family!

But where does the FUN I speak of come into this? Simple. The Holonet. Crechemaster's trying to corral an adult in the body of a child. The Insert is BORED. At peace, yes. But you can really only meditate so many hours of the day. Lessons only take up so much and class work the same. They aren't at an age where the SERIOUS lessons begin yet.

So they have too much free time.

..........have you heard about "Video Game #55? It's apparently got more Video AND Game then ever!" Intriguing~ But, oh. Playing it ALONE it BORING. And playing with... well, INFANTS, is... an exercise in patience. Plus it's probably not appropriate for them. Hmmmmm..... you KNOW.... Insert really DOES miss? Watching Let's Plays over breakfast/lunch...

They've never MADE one... but they know they general script and idea? And for Some Reason? It feels like a GREAT way to pass the time! Yeah! Let's do THAT! And so the Force nudges. Tiny. Seemingly inconsequential. The Master's try to shut it down, Insert is stubborn and refuses, they talk it out. Because they are Jedi and authoritarian force is not their way. Is it frustrating? Perhaps. But the only cure for ignorance is knowledge.

They ultimately compromise. Insert get to keep their little game thing, THEY make sure Insert is compromising Temple security, putting themselves in danger, talking to dubious strangers, or other such perils. It is? A FASCINATING view into the secretive world of the Mysterious Jedi for most of the galaxy. All lead by an adorable Youngling playing games.

Of course, such a silly, ridiculous thing is BENEATH Palpatine's concern. Fun and games? Not even formal or official ones? The child doesn't even represent the jedi. They represent no one. Clearly not a threat, right?

WRONG.

Because one game? Leads to another. Leads to being recommended another. Leads to "hey check out this music". Leads to "how was your day?" Leads to chatting about Jedi philosophy... as simplified for small children. Easy to understand and then complained over like it's maths homework. And... huh.

You guys really liked when I talked about X? Well, I don't know much about it... buuut? I could probably FIND someone or go to the archives? Make a video? I'll make a poll. Vote down below?

Untouchable and distant? Nah. Jedi play "Crafting Game 73" and whine about their Crechemates being JERKS for eating the last dessert. Jedi, in their head's, are small adorable younglings and the amused adults meditating the back ground who watch over them. EVERYONE knows the Jedi. The Jedi are on our datapads. Are our friends. We've totally met them.

Parasocial relationships.

Or maybe that's just me? I just... God I REALLY want to see how they'd react to a initiate who just? Won't stop fuckin making Let's Plays of all things. Just? WHY. HOW? WHY AND HOW?! No, NO don't you shrug at me and run of, youngling! Get back here! What "skill issue"? Which skill? Initiate!!!

@hdgnj @hypewinter @babbling-babull @the-witchhunter @mutable-manifestation @lolottes @leftnotright @legitimatesatanspawn @nerdpoe @spidori

[sanguineterrain]

could I request a fic with insomniac!reader and tim? i love your writing im excited to see how you make his character your own! <3

thanks for the request! first time writing tim... kinda nervous like I'm on a first date 🫣 hope you like! this one isn't as mushy gushy as my usual fics (jason) so yeah. also my knowledge of yj is purely through fic 🤙

tim drake x gn!reader. tw insomnia, tim being so awkward but maybe... there are feelings... who can say. tim's character is so interesting to me (probably because I identify with him the most lmao).

****

It's really, really nice of the team to let you stay over tonight. Like, really nice.

You haven't even done much. You're pretty much a nobody in the superhero world, not even a D-list hero. Certainly not anybody that should be hanging out with the likes of Wonder Girl and Superboy and, God, Tim freakin' Drake.

Kon was just overly generous in his cool, brash way, herding you into a spare room after last night's battle. After tonight, you'll politely break away from the team to give them some reprieve. It didn't escape your notice that they didn't hang out last night like they usually do.

You've been awake for an hour now, listening for sounds of life in the corridor. If you were home, you'd already be on the couch watching crappy TV. But you really don't want to run into anyone here.

Maybe you have some chamomile tea leftover from the last time you stayed over. You hadn't stayed the whole night, slipping away without interference as most of the team had gone to their own homes.

You get up, stretching and popping joints. It's always a little cold in the Tower, and it wakes you up as you walk to the kitchen first. You're as quiet as you can be in heating the water and finding the tea.

You take your mug and head to the den. As you enter, you freeze.

Tim turns his head from his place on the couch. The blue light from the TV makes him paler, and his eyes bluer. Sometimes, he looks so much like Bruce Wayne, it startles you.

"Oh," you say, unsure what else to say. Your brain is tired and fried. "I... was just looking for my watch."

That's definitely your dumbest lie. You don't have a watch. Tim sure as fuck knows that.

His eyes flick to your wrist, as if reminding you both how stupid your lie is, then to your mug. He mutes the TV.

You stay where you are. Tim stands, obviously shouldering his own bout of insomnia.

"It's... you can come in," he says, just as awkward as you.

That's comforting. Tim's usually so suave, the few times you've interacted. He's all Gotham Heights, his upbringing never quite sloughing off no matter how many times he's probably tried to blend in and not be so... private school.

"I was just going to bed," he says quickly.

"No, you weren't," you say. You don't mean for it to come out so shrewd. Tim looks a little startled.

"I mean, you don't need to go," you add. "I'll take this to my room. It's fine. Sorry."

"No, I've been here too long anyway. I should work on my case."

Here's the thing. It's not that Tim avoids you because in order to do that, you'd have to see him more than three times a year.

But there's a distance. You've tried not to take it personally, tried to chalk it up to the fact that you're introverted and Kon and Bart are Kon and Bart, and Cassie's too straightforward to beat around the bush, and you've somehow won her over, which is nice.

And Tim is just... cautious. Paranoid.

Those are understatements, and you can't imagine the psychological damage caused by being raised by Batman, but, well, you've seen the previous and current Robins, so you can hazard a guess.

Anyway, Tim kind of acts like an unsocialized cat with you. You once mentioned it to Kon, in nicer words, but he dismissed you, saying, "Whaddya mean? Rob likes you!" Which had assuaged nothing, but whatever.

"I won't be here long," you say, as a last-ditch effort to not make it feel like you're kicking Tim out of his own space. "I just, uh, couldn't sleep."

He watches you in that freaky Bat way, like he's trying to determine if you're a threat or not. Jesus.

"It's hard for me to sleep after a battle," you add, trying to show your belly. That's how it feels, being around Tim Drake. Like you always need to be vulnerable first. Like you're in a battle of wills you didn't know you entered.

He doesn't sit down, but he does say, "Me too."

You nod and drink your cooling tea. "There's more tea in the kitchen if you want. Chamomile."

"I'm... good. Thanks."

You edge over to the armchair diagonal to the couch and sit.

"You can work in here," you say. "Unless, uh, it's too distracting. I'll keep the TV muted."

His laptop is on the other side of the couch. Tim is still, only his eyes moving from you to the laptop.

"I don't wanna push you out," you say.

"It's really fine," he replies immediately.

It's so not fine. This isn't boding well for your insomnia. You're definitely going to be agonizing over this interaction all week.

"I won't bother you," you say.

"I didn't say you would."

Then what's the problem?

Slowly, Tim returns to the couch. You look away, so it doesn't seem like you're watching his every move (you are), nor is Tim clocking your every move (he is).

He settles on the couch and opens his laptop. You drink and try to figure out what's playing on TV. It looks to be a rerun of Columbo. You smile.

"You like Columbo?"

Tim looks spooked that you're still talking to him, but he answers. "Yeah."

"Me too."

You watch Columbo silently look for clues. Tim types, fingers flying over the keyboard. Then his fingers pause.

"I used to watch it with Dick," he says. "When I first became Robin."

You nod, giving him your full attention. "Yeah? He seems like the type."

"He does a pretty good impression of him. He likes detective shows."

"You don't?" you ask.

Tim shrugs. "They're fine. I guess I just hate how predictable they can be."

"Of course the boy genius would say that," you say, smirking.

Instantly, Tim's face turns to stone. He hums, looking back at his laptop. You blink. What happened?

"Sorry. That was a joke," you say.

"I know," Tim says, any trace of warmth gone.

You're startled by the shift. "I don't—I wasn't making fun of you. I mean, you are smart. Really smart."

Tim carefully looks at you. "...Thanks."

You nod clumsily. You should've just stayed in bed.

It's quiet for a long time. You're trying to muster up the confidence to escape to your room when Tim speaks again.

"People have said stuff like that to be facetious. I... reacted without reading your tone."

It's not an apology, but it's probably the closest thing you'll get.

"It's okay," you say.

Tim nods. His shoulders aren't so tense, though his posture is atrocious when he's off-duty.

He gets up and gives you the remote. You take it, smile small. Tim retreats.

"You can unmute it if you want. I don't mind."

So you do, and you and Tim spend the next hour half-watching Columbo and half-watching each other. Eventually, your tea finishes, and the episode ends, so you get up.

"I think I'll try and sleep," you say.

Tim nods. "Good luck."

You hum. "Thanks. Good luck with the case."

"Yeah. Thanks."

You wash the mug and leave it on the dish rack. Then you escape back to your room. You really do feel like you could sleep again. Maybe Columbo reruns are the magic ingredient to a good night's sleep.

[midniiights-garden]

A Porcelain Doll and a Blade - Mizu x Fem!Reader

Summary: It's cliché, really. A pretty little thing like you with a monster. A classic Beauty and the Beast scenario. But what if the Beauty is not all that fragile and what if the Beast isn't as cruel? Oh well, still cliché.

(A/N: This is probably gonna be multiple parts!! Idk how many parts but there will be more than one. Also the reader is implied to be South-east Asian!!)

TWs!!: Canon typical violence, Mentions of smoking and alcohol, Blood and gore, Canon and period typical misogyny.

It's cold outside, it always seems to be anyways.

The young woman looks around her, taking in her surroundings, checking for something. What that thing was no one knew but her. She was inconspicious in terms of appearance. Her skin was on the tan side, but not anything that would be odd for most of the rice farmers. She could be Japanese for all they knew.

She, you, heads into a nearby tavern seeking shelter. You're cold, unused to such weather. The concept of snow confused you. Crystals? Falling from the sky? What a strange notion. You enter the tavern, sighing happily as the heat from the fireplace within hits you like a wave. It's not nearly as warm as what you are used to, but it's much better than the bitter cold of the outside.

Your feet take you to the bar, seating yourself at one of the barstools. The men stare at you- whether it's because they desire you or because it's odd that a woman enter a tavern was unclear. You try to call over the bar keeper who raises an eyebrow at your age. You're young, early twenties. Couldn't be older than 26. You order a drink, one that gets the bar keeper to raise an eyebrow.

"...Where's your husband?" The man asks gruffly.

You huff. Now you're cold, irritated and without a drink. You reply that you have none. What you didn't say was that you weren't interested in having a male lover anyways.

The man grunts in disapproval. "No husband? Really? So what are you then, a whore?"

It was common for the courtesans of the Red Light to drink. Most drank, in fact. Other women tended to only drink in the company of family. The 'high class' women that was. The desireable little dolls most men wanted.

His words made you scowl, your features twisting in clear distaste. All you do is get up, leaving the tavern in an attempt to fuel your need to retaliate physically. Oh, how you itched for a barfight.

A young man enters the scene. Well, not truly a man. It's Mizu. Her haori and cloak are wrapped tightly around her form as she attempts to warm herself, keep herself stable in a bitter enviornment. You pass her as she heads towards the tavern, your expression still as dark and bitter as ever as you collide.

"...sorry," you mutter, bowing politely.

Mizu merely nods, bowing in return before returning her sights to the tavern. It was getting fucking cold out here.

Later that evening you are forced to return to that godforsaken tavern. The town was small, leaving you no other option. You didn't feel like having to play cutesy in order to get into someone's home. So, you head back, a scowl ever prominent on your face as you tread back into the establishment. The bar keep raises an eyebrow at you once more, the gesture earning him a pointed glare.

"I need a room for one," you mutter, trying your best to keep the flare of your temper under control.

"It's a shared dorm," the keeper explains with another grunt. "You willing to stay with a stranger?"

You sigh, irritated even more. "Yes," you hiss. "Please, just let me pay and let me get to rest."

The man rolls his eyes but obliges, allowing me to pay him. Once the transaction was done you turn, eager to just get to bed. Unfortunately the bar keeper just had to open his mouth one last time.

"You'd be a lot prettier if you kept quiet."

You are unable to reply. At least verbally. Any response to that comment would have ended in a fist fight which would end in a murder. And it certainly wouldn't be you that would die. So you trudge into the shared dorm, fists clenched so tightly your knuckles turned white and your nails dug into your palms.

You slam open the door to the shared dorms not realising another person was in there.

"Hey, what the fuck-?!" A voice says, clearly annoyed.

You recognize the voice. It's Mizu, the stranger you bumped into earlier. You sigh, bowing once more.

"My apologies..." you murmur. "I didn't realise anyone else was in here. I should have been more considerate."

Mizu raises her eyebrow, instantly recognizing the oddly pissed of girl she had bumped into. Her eyes scanned your form. You were pretty, beautiful. Like a little doll that girls would play with. The fact that you were alone made her raise an eyebrow. Despite her thoughts she decided to remain silent.

"I see... just, don't do it again," she replies bluntly, turning to her side to get some rest.

You nod, taking her acceptance and getting ready for bed in turn. You just couldn't shake the anger that those words had caused me. Irritated, you pull out a cigar- stolen, not bought- and lit it. You take a few puffs before Mizu takes notice, raising her eyebrow.

"...you smoke?" She asks, skepticisim and wariness in her tone.

"Yes. Did any of it accidentally get to you?" You reply, exhaling the smoke outside the window. Mizu remains silent for a short while before reply.

"Why do you smoke that shit? It's bad for you. Addictive and ruins you," she mutters.

You roll her eyes at her comment. "I'm stressed," you reply.

Mizu scoffs, rolling her eyes in return. "I noticed that," she huffs. "Now are you going to keep having a stuck up attitude? I don't like dealing with brats."

Considering that you that she was a man this was not a great statement. You sneer, turning to face her.

"Oh, and you think you're so much better? What gives you the right to boss me around? Because you're a big strong man?" You ask bitterly, getting close to loosing your temper. "Well you can shove that strength right up your damn ass. I don't answer to you."

With that you go silent, glaring out into the night sky.

Mizu is taken aback by your hostility. Well, actually, it wasn't the hostility as much as your willingness to belittle a person you saw as a man. Most women would not take that chance. You, on the other hand, seemed to give zero shits. While it annoyed her it also made her respect you a little. No matter how rudely you had gone about it.

So, instead of reply Mizu simply turns over and goes to bed. She could already tell you'd be a hell of a lot to deal with and she was already tired. Perhaps the morning would uncover more things about the both of you.

[glitternightingale]

Happy Progress Day!

"Jayce and his Fumbled Speech"

This meta is inspired by this discussion between @iwillmissourtalks and @mercutio-the-velaryon about Mel's intentionally ambiguous framing when she leaves during the Progress Day speech.

For fun, I tried to retrace the events leading up to it and piece together Mel's possible perspective and involvement. This isn't completely Mel-focused since many other characters appear which caused me to raise some questions surrounding the timeline and the characters' motivations (as well as add a few anecdotes).

For consistency's sake, let's start with the first Progress Day scene.

Jayce and Heimerdinger talk in his lab about Stanwick Padidly and the Progress Day speech. H: "The Council has recommended you give the Progress Day speech this year." J: "What... But you always give that speech. I... I could never take your place." H: "I agree with them. Your Hexgates have done wonders for our city."

Then Heimerdinger acknowledges that Jayce giving the speech was a very recent decision. From what we later learn of Mel's softly-worded political proposals, we can infer that this recommendation was most likely her doing (and backed by Cassandra due to how much she also profits from Jayce and Hextech). The speech holds incredible symbolic weight since it's Piltover's bicentennial which also explains why Jayce hadn't been encouraged to hold it before despite already being an established celebrity who has revolutionized science and the arts (directly and indirectly).

In short: Mel was in the previously mentioned Council meeting and suggested Heimerdinger let Jayce take charge of the speech (which is apparently such a break in tradition that Caitlyn doesn't believe Jayce at first when he tells her). Heimerdinger probably ruminated over this for some time until he ultimately told Jayce the very morning of Progress Day. It is unknown at what point Mel knew for sure if Jayce would hold the speech but at the very least, she was sure enough of it that she "already spoke to several potential investors" throughout the day (while Jayce was at the Kiramman tent in the morning/noon and in the lab with Viktor in the afternoon).

Speaking of the lab scene:

V: "You think he will approve?" J: "Heimerdinger believes science should be used to improve lives as much as we do. We just need to show him it's safe." V: "And what about the Council?" J: "We stabilized the crystal like they asked. Built the Hexgates like they asked. It's our turn to decide the future of Hextech."

They demonstrate to Heimerdinger that they have, in fact, finally managed to stabilize the crystal, and Heimerdinger's reaction shows he's impressed, which implies that they haven't officially notified the Council of their project's completion yet. A smart move, because they plan on breaking the news together with immediate practical applications, applications Jayce and Viktor can steer in their preferred direction before the Council can distort Hextech again by, let's say, inserting the Gems into obsolete luxury machinery that would never, ever trickle down to benefit lower social classes.

However, Heimerdinger's ethical criticism sows doubt in Jayce's mind. He doesn't want to cause harm but he certainly notices how upset Viktor is. (It is likely they vented to each other a bit after this.)

Then a few hours pass, Jayce gets dressed (while Viktor probably arranges the equipment to be brought to where the speech will be held). But instead of actually writing his speech, Jayce goes to the "Fundraiser" soirée, hosted by Mel herself (due to the Noxian-inspired architecture, the miniature Hexgates model on the desk where Mel picked up the puzzles before the time skip, and the familiarity with which she holds herself combined with Elora's comments), to specifically get her advice (would he even have attended it otherwise? He's zeroing in on her the moment he steps into the room). Jayce is looking for reassurance from someone who has proven level-headed and rational (which excludes Viktor in this case, whose opinion is already obvious to Jayce and tainted by personal affront).

Mel and Jayce walk into her office for privacy. M: "To what do I owe the pleasure?" J: "It's Heimerdinger." M: "When is it not?" (...) M: "Piltover needs a leader who looks forward. Someone like you." J: "You really believe that?" (...) M: "It's your speech. Give the people a glimpse of the future."

This exchange tells us that:

This is far from the first time that Jayce has complained to Mel about Heimerdinger and his restrictions.

Mel is honest about her belief in Jayce and the ways she supports Hextech (she has procured a stage for Jayce, invited representatives from all over the world to a Fundraiser as well as the other Councilors --safe for Heimerdinger, it appears--, and probably convinced them with the Hexgates model paired with only the future notion of a stabilized Hexgem in the back of her mind). She is amassing money and influence without a goal that goes beyond Jayce because she trusts him.

She reassures him that she wants him to take the reins and see his dream through in any way he sees fit. She is not micromanaging him and his decisions. The Council gives the Hextech team broad directions and sees what comes of it, while Mel encourages Jayce as a person to become The Man of Progress and realize his potential. She leaves its definition entirely up to him.

We cut away from a contemplative Jayce until we see him again backstage in the evening/at night, seemingly upbeat and confident, with a Man of Progress cup of coffee in hand while Sky is following him with a clipboard (she likely helped him with the speech on their time crunch, which looks hastily constructed with scribbles and crossed-out words, as to not upset Viktor further, who is clearly stressed either way. Jayce knows this, hence his false bravado.).

Jayce is called to the stage by Cassandra and doesn't shy away from the light. People who had mocked and looked down on him only years prior are now sitting in the front rows, cheering for him and his inventions. The camera swerves over them, capturing their expressions of pride and awe. Mel has the same expression as all the others. The only reason why she is alienated from the crowd is due to how she (and Elora) are given a whole shot. This is to remind us that she has personal stakes in Jayce's decision. She has put time, thought, energy, money, and emotional availability into this man. For seven years.

Jayce starts his speech, lighthearted but nervous with how he grasps the clipboard. Then he picks up, speaking from the heart and of his story, humbling himself and his origins. He doesn't frame his personal achievements, he underlines Hextech's success; a project multiple people are involved in. He doesn't speak of "I", he uses "we", acknowledging everyone's efforts. Then Jayce praises the Hexgates that Mel funded, and who does the camera cut back to?

The Vastaya whistling surprises Mel, but her gaze lingers on the Hexgates that have been running for "a few years".

Their achievement.

Can we take a quick detour and appreciate how they brought a huge Talis anvil to the stage (it's probably not the one from their lab for logistical reasons, although they look identical)? Jayce and Viktor really wanted to show off just how stable the Gem is. They appear to have agreed on this, at least.

Unfortunately, we can't say for sure if the Atlas Gauntlets or the Hex Claw were there too. I assume Jayce and Viktor stored them away safely since Jinx would have either stolen or at least scribbled all over them when she broke into the lab. Maybe they were in the boxes backstage (a box Viktor was sitting on, perhaps)? Did they abort the plan of presenting them beforehand and was keeping them from Jinx simply a happy accident?

Anyway, Jayce continues with his speech but swallows with uncertainty. His words become more deliberate and cautious.

J: "This year, we've created something new for you."

Mel smiles unexpectedly wide with pride and excitement that Elora looks at her with a smirk while Heimerdinger raises a warning eyebrow at Jayce (and Salo looks bored, haha).

J: "Something that... um..."

As Jayce falters, Mel's expression falls as well and she looks troubled. She is worried about the speech, but more appropriately Jayce's sudden blunder. She likely wonders why he's suddenly stuttering. Is he feeling unwell?

J: "That we will share with you... when the time is right."

Mel's eyes flicker away from the stage and she pouts when reality sets in, causing Elora to once again check in on her. It's interesting how Elora always gauges Mel's reaction to what Jayce does. She has known Mel for years and can feel that Mel's interest in Jayce goes far beyond her typical pursuit of material and reputational gains. Jayce is a personal investment.

This makes it more frustrating that Jayce didn't even announce the Hexgem, a project Hextech developed on official order of the Council, with permission. (Would Jayce have pulled through if Viktor had gone up with him, I wonder?) Even the Enforcers stationed outside remark on this later: "That it, then? I thought the Talis boy was some kind of genius."

Jayce continues to give the audience an emotionally appealing nothing burger as Mel stands up and walks out together with Elora without looking back.

Understandably, Mel has feelings about this. She is angry or at the very least annoyed. Who wouldn't be if someone you trust tells you one thing and then does the complete opposite the next time you see them? (A parallel to the aftermath of the... Sextech scene where she wakes up alone and takes her frustrations out on a canvas, instead of Jayce.) Mel quickly leaves to save what can be saved and salvaged.

However, I believe the real crux of the issue isn't Jayce's decision to hide Hextech's progress from the public but that Mel didn't know at what point Jayce decided to not heed her advice. He brought a prepared speech to the speaker's stand. He had papers in front of him that he read out loud. When Mel holds a speech (see the memorial in season 2) she has crafted every single line well in advance. Who's to say Jayce hadn't planned on making her appear like a fool in front of all the investors she charmed, investors she told him about? Jayce (accidentally) humiliated her. He undermined her integrity and influence while also presenting Hextech, the company, as a fragmented assortment of goals and ideas (something investors consider massive uncertainties).

However, Mel is aware that she knowingly took this gamble, and she lost. She miscalculated. No perfectionist who wants to prove herself worthy of Medarda standards and who tries to grab power where she can to impress her family would ever feel good after this. It scratches at her ego as her way of diplomacy seems to have failed, and we all know how stubborn Mel can be when her principles are challenged by circumstance.

Anyway, Jinx sets the Kiramman tent on fire in the square, breaks into the lab (at which point the Gem had been returned to the anvil? Whose idea was it to store it right there smack in the middle of the lab? Why not store it among the other two that were visible in the lab scene when Heimerdinger visited? But I digress), and demolishes it, while Jayce and Viktor are probably at the "cocktail party" Caitlyn was supposed to attend before Marcus punished her with the "graveyard shift", or they went home, I suppose.

Then we see the fallout of Jinx's attack: an empty anvil = "The Gemstone is gone"

(Makes me wonder if Jinx would have still managed to pocket it if Jayce had actually presented it to the world. The fortified Gemstone would have surely been the talk of the town and definitely not been let out of sight, right? Ah, what could have been... This would have changed the course of the entire story.)

An emergency Council meeting is held the morning after. It's unclear if Mel and Jayce have spoken before this (perhaps at the "cocktail party"). The point is that Mel realizes that Jayce didn't have any malicious intent. He takes responsibility for the incident and recommends shutting down all Hextech operations (laboratories, the refinery, and the Hexgates). The Council members disagree for various reasons.

J: "But shouldn't the safety of Piltover be our first priority?"

Mel knows this is Heimerdinger-talk and she becomes aware of the sheer magnitude of the ancient being's influence over Jayce. To move forward, Jayce needs to be freed from such outdated concerns (who knows when Noxus will come knocking at Piltover's walls, after all?).

As an investor and Council member, it would have been so easy for Mel to seize complete control of Hextech right then and there. She could have been petty and wrathful and pounced on the ludicrous recommendation Jayce just made to frame him as a foolhardy hothead, or a threat to the other Councilors' interests (especially the ones that are dealt with behind closed doors), embarrassing him for his misguided mistake and getting her revenge.

But what does she do instead? Mel shows she is "merciful" as she puts him on equal playing ground with Heimerdinger and herself as Councilor, all the while avoiding eye contact with Jayce. This is one, if not the only decision she wrangles him into, one she will be called out for later on. Mel does what she thinks is best for Jayce, Hextech, and Piltover at this point in time, and that is to give Jayce a little push and yet another opportunity to finally outgrow his mentor's shadow.

She even pits them directly against each other to reinforce to Jayce that he is in no way less fit to lead than Heimerdinger himself:

B: "Does the boy have any experience?" M: "Only that of a scientist. Like Heimerdinger."

It's nothing new from what she already told him. "It's your speech." What did change, however, is the way she goes about teaching Jayce from then on. She starts to spell out cause and effect to him in a more hands-on approach (see the opera scene).

She still supports Jayce, who

was very confused by what she was gathering investors for

messed up the most impactful speech in the city's history and disappointed those whose opinions he cherishes most

couldn't fathom the broader economic and social consequences of an immediate shutdown of Hextech operations

She still believes in Jayce, who then goes on to use every tool Mel provided to ultimately outgrow her, too, in the later episodes.

Jayce, the monster she created and still loves.

[gildedmuse]

ZoLaw AUs Nobody Asked For Presents....

Fairy Tale Twist

Part One: Abduction!

[This was inspired by watching the first episode of the anime Heaven Official Blessing with @jhaernyl. However, for the purpose of this ficlette all you need to know is the whole thing is your typical fanfic set up: a bunch of young women are disappearing, so in order to solve the mystery our main male character is forced to go undercover as a shy, virginal bride-to-be in hopes that the sexy bad boy will notice him and carry him off to his liar.]

[You know. The only sensible solution to a rash of kidnappings.]

"Please," the old lady begs, tears running down her face as she falls to her knees in front of the trio. "Even if there is no hope for my Liula, this village can't bear to lose another one of our daughters!"

Zoro scratches behind his ear, apparently unmoved by the old ladies tears, as well as the wet faces of the town folks who have gathered all around. It isn't that he doesn't care - he's sure it's hard to misplace a daughter or whatever, though it does seem to him as if it's at least a little the villager's own fault. Why do they keep sending the girls through the forest is they keep disappearing?

"So they're always taken in the forest?" Saga - Zoro's second best friend and training partner - always knows exactly the right questions to ask. He's just good at that kind of detective thing, the way Marines pretend to be. As a crew of bounty hunters, they may not be the most well known or most feared (they certainly aren't their richest) but between him, Kuina, and Saga, Zoro figures they have all the right talents to work their way up to the top, wherever that might be.

For Saga, Zoro is sure that eventually means becoming a marine or, as his overly dramatic friend would put it, "becoming a sword for justice!" Or that's what he says it if you get enough sake in him, though honestly it doesn't even take one drink to notice the look he gets in his eyes whenever a bunch of men in their clean white uniforms go marching pass. Not even Kuina's mocking their stupid insignia ("why do you want a shirt with a pair of boobs drawn on. I've got the real thing and they're nothing but annoying!" / "For the last time, the insignia is the mighy gull! Not a pair of blue boobies!" / "As someone who has seen plenty of both, trust me, no seagull looks like that..not unless it's had some major work done.") or Zoro pointing out he's never seen a single marine carrying a shuangshou jian, which he thinks is the far better argument. After all, Saga wouldn't want to have to get rid of his beloved sword, would be? It's the one thing he has from his parents....

If there is one person who would understand how important a sword can be, it would be Kuina, but he thought Saga would be next.

"Sounds like instead of worrying about your bridal traditions, you should have worked to make sure these girls could protect themselves," Kuina says, her voice low and steady, but there is an undercurrent of anger there. One Zoro finds adults often miss, due to Kuina's former, almost old fashioned, language and proper samurai etiquette.

Her father always said there was more to being a Kenshi than just holding a sword. Unfortunately, one of the things he believes makes for a Kenshi is....

Kuina stands up, bowing politely to the very same adults she'd just been so angry at. "We will find this pirate who is taking your lost daughters and ensure this does not happen again," she promises, and Kuina promises something it's like you can see the threads binding her, holding her to her word. It makes Zoro sit up straighter, happy to be her rival. "If what these girls want is to be married, they deserve to make that choice without some creep ruining it for them."

Kuina's small, and because of that, most everyone underestimates her. Only to be surprised when the girl they had just been laughing at is suddenly behind them, the sharp white blade of Wado Ichimonji pressed against their kidney, with Tenno Megumi clashing against their own steel, stopping them from being able to make a move. She's a fast, technical fighter and a slow, methodical thinker. She probably knows more about Zoro and Saga then the two boys know about themselves and, honestly, Zoro is alright with that. He doesn't even know where he'd keep all that knowledge, but Kuina seems to do a good

They had only come to this island to pick up some Nobody, Kuro of 1000 Cats or something stupid like that, but they had barely dragged him and his crew of losers to the local Marine base when an older woman, face wrinkled and worn from sadness, had grabbed a hold of Zoro's arm.

These people were desperate, and the small four man marine outpost they have seemed unable ("or unwilling," Kuina had muttered only once Saga was distracted - they didn't need to have that fight again) to help against what seemed to be some knd of curse.

"Qell it's not a curse," Saga decided immediately, the three of them gathering just outside of the town hall were the citizen had plead their case. And as much as Zoro hates being distracted from his goal, his one true dream, he has to admit their pleas were.... heartfelt.

"Hmm," Kuina puts her hand to her chin, her foot digging into her dirt as she stares down, her brain trying to ferment a plan of some kind. At the very least a place to begin. "It seems he only comes out when there is a bridal procession. What should we do?"

There is silence as they all contemplate this impossible task.

"I know!" It's Saga who gets a these first, slapping his fist in his hand, and with his eyes burning so bright, Kuina and Zoro are immediately doubtful. This is going to be one of those ridiculous plans like in all his marine centered manga. As far as Zoro has seen, Marines never actually do any sort of undercover work or whatever. They just stupidly fire bullets at things and hope one hits. But that's not how Saga sees them, not at all.

Saga gives a sharp, proud smile, his support of his own plan entirely unwavering. Zoro assumed they would just stare at him until sanity sunk back in but suddenly, he notices Kuina going all stiff, as if a realization had just hit.

"Not it!"

Zoro stumbles some, not used to the usually calm depth that is his number one rival and best friend moving with such a reckless, her arm flying up as of theyre back at the dojo answering questions. "Hey!" He pushes his shoulder back against her. "What are you-"

"Good point!" Saga says, his intensity still bur ing as usual. "I am also not it."

Zoro looks between his two friends. His two companions. His twisted sworn brother and sister. And the evil grins that were creeping up along their faces.

"I am NOT-"

Kuina leans in so hard, Zoro ends up squashed up against Saga. "Your mouth says no," the older girl teases, sluttering her eyelashes in a way that Zoro didn't understan. Was that supposed to make him do something? "But your eyes - and my blades," she adds that bit with a pat at the swords at her side. "Say yes."

At his other side, Saga gives him an unnaturally bright smile despite the narrowed eyes glare Zoro is giving both kenshi. "You really should try and look happier. It's your wedding day after all!" He teased, nd Zoro can only grumble.

He did call not it last, damnit.

"We will just have to set up a convincing bridal procession then!" Saga pulls back, striking what Zoro feels is an all too excited pose considering the fate they've just sealed for him. "Kuina and I will act as guards, while Zoro gakes place of the bride to be. We'll put the whole thing together and make it look just like a real bridal procession! That's how we will draw this scoundrel out!"

The two npeople only seem mildly confused by the bounty hunter's plan. Zoro isn't sure what the confusion is aboit. He's hardly looking forward to this mess, but he does think Saga and Kuina did an excellent job at setting the trap and as for his part, well, he can only hide one of his three swords under the bridal gown, but with the other two concealed in the carriage in easy reach, he doesn't imagine he'll habe any difficulty grabbing for them in time. The whole plan is actually one of their better thought out schemes, so he isn't sure why the villagers take moment to get on board, but eventually they do. They even lend them materials to help make the ruse undetectable.

"I've got this!" Kuina declares in reference to the dress. She isn't much for fu-fu clothes herself - it's all so much fabric for so little practical coverage, and it always has at least one part that hangs in the weirdest way. However, she's had years of practice learning to make men's clothes for her properly so they aren't baggy and in her way and also wouldn't.... disrespect her father (Zoro knows she would never wish to voice this, but he has also seen her on holy days with his image. Holding it as tight as if he were a long honored ancestor. Looking to the stars as if they would grant her his approval.) Plus, she definitely knew what looked good on girls. Just because she doesn't wear fancy kimono and jewelry and other useless pretty things doesn't mean Kuina can't APPRECIATE what other women look like in such elaborate get ups.

It's the make up where they run into something of an issue.

"Katatsumuri," Saga asks, holding out their den den mushi. Him and the snail wince together as Kuina gets angry enough to break the brush shed be using to try and apply Zoro's lipstick, yelling that it was a subpar tool unworthy of its title and a shame to whoever forged its.... it's.... it's stupid hairs or whatever! Grr!

"Can you play a make up tutorial," Saga requests, sitting cross legged in front of Zoro. Luckily, he is very good at copying moves even from videos. Maybe this is why he appreciates marine uniforms so much, Zor thinks, cause they're all neat and orderly and it feels like you have to keep your make up neat and orderly as well.

So with Zoro looking appropriately alluring ("You're a vision," Saga promises, his breathing just a little too rushed considering they haven't even started on the hard part of the quest just yet. "You almost look decent," Kuina laughs, making sure Katatsumuri takes a picture for future reference) they gather everything else they will need for their little nightie deceit. The procession, the carriage, the spooky nighttime forest that the temple lies in the middle of for some reason no one could adequately explained.

"just sit tight," Kuina whispers from the side of her mouth as they walk deeper and deeper into the darkness. "I'm sure this willl-"

"Kuina!?" Zoro knows he is supposed to be sitting there straight and well behaved, just the way he's practiced with that overly nice girl - the one who kept getting a little bit touchy, like Zoro couldn't figure out how to hold his hands just by LOOKING at her; there is no reason to touch - but at his friend's sudden silence he couldn't help but peak out of the carriage window.

Nothing but wind and leaves and darkness.

"Zoro," Saga growls from the other wise..Zoro turns to try and ask him to go check on Kuina. That's what he should do, rather than break character. Good call. "Keep on guar-"

Silence.

Suddenly there is nothing.. No horses. No Marines pretending to be maid in waiting. No guards. No friends. Just darkness, and a low, soft whisper of the wind. Something dark, something.... stirring.

Zoro licks his lips, that awful taste of the lipstick coming off with it. He reaches for the trap door where his two other swords are stored when -

Click.

The door opens a light storm: the fall of rain, wind sweeping through the trees, dark hair, striking eyes, and such long and slender fingers reaching out for him, not grabbing, but making an offering. Holding his hand out for the supposedly young and virginal bride.

And suddenly Zoro can feel it in his chest. This lightness. This heat.

He fumbles, trying to find the damn torch. Where were his matches? Why is he going for the stupid candle and not his swords? What is wrong with him?

"I can't help but notice," the strange is silhouettes in the darkness, out the moonlight behind him offering any glimpse. But that voice. So dark, like a shadow. Like the way a smooth sake feels sliding down your throat. "You seemed to be in trouble, my little lamb. I hope those ruffians didn't cause you any harm."

As if you didn't send those ruffians, only Zoro's voice is entirely gone. The boy's golden eyes pierce through him like an arrow. Where is his voice? It seems the only part of him that can speak is his heart, and that is beating so loud it filled the entirety of the carriage

It only gets louder when the stranger's lips quirk upward, the water running down his hair, his pale skin, sliding around his lips. Making them shimmer and shine in the low candle light. "What a remarkable beauty. How could anyone wish to hurt such an angel?" His hand is still hanging there, half way between them. Zoro licks his lip subconsciously, the water clinging to the stranger's lower lip making him want....

No! He's meant to focus! He is here on a mission, not some silly game.

Yet the way the stranger smiles does leave his stomach feeling all sorts of silly. Are those his finger tips shaking as he reaches out, gently entrusting his hand to the stranger.

Immediately he is being pulled forward, so close it Zoro can't keep the gasp escaping his lips. He's not used to these shoes, there's far too much of them for starters, and the heels catches on the fabric of his dress and-

As he falls foward, the stranger moves in close and through the low light of the moon and a single candle, those gorgeous golden eyes stare right into Zoro's soul, soft and yet certain as he reaches out, easily pulling Zoro into his arms.

Pressed against the man's chest, Zoro understands why so many of those manga he finds Saga hiding away have girls pressed up to marines just like this. The way his heart beats in Zoro's ear, the protective warmth of his arms....

"Where did-"

"You men seem to have run off," The stranger says, holding him close. The hold is gentle and yet formal, as of purposefully being polite and careful with him. "I believe they were trying to lure the attackers away."

He knows that hadn't been the plan, but he can only stare up at the stranger, his cheeks so warm he thinks of lifting the veil, just to get some fresh air. But surely if he saw him that would give them game away.

"Your physical beauty must only be surpassed by that of your heart, to have such a loyal and fearless guard. I would hate to see their bravery go to waste. I don't have much, certainly not lodging worthy of such a precious gem, but there is a small temple nearby that will offer us shealter. I can keep you safe until your entourage regroups. That is, if you will allow it."

His golden eyes are staring down at our hero, soft and intense all at once, and they leave his tongue feeling equally confused: heavy and light at the same time.

"You have my permission to do with me as you please." Zoro hadn't practiced any sort of script, the plan had been to attack and words had seemed unnecessary. He still isn't sure where such a sentiment even came from! What a silly thing to say! He must look like a gu-

Wait, that isn't the what Zoro is supposed to be concerned about. Why does he even care if he looks like a fool!?

Even as he tries to hide himself against the stranger's chest, he catches a glimpse of that smirk. That horribly cocky, confident turn of his lips that leaves the poor kenshi melting, all the heat not coloring in his face pooling much, much lower.

"I shall take you with me then, beauty-ya, and act as your guide until we can reunite you with your proper assembly."

"Mmm," Zoro mutters, voice high and breathless. Perhaps to ensure the act is believable? "Take me with you, unite with me, yes..."

Just an act, that's all. Right, that's why he's doing this. To go along with the plan.

That's why he puts up no struggle as he suddenly finds himself lifted up into the strangers arms. The man's hat keeps his face mostly hidden, but Zoro is sure to memorize the edges of his cheeks, his lips and chin where rivlets of water drip from his dark skin. The beautiful dark ink that covers the strong arms that have Zoro safely held against his chest.

All for the sake of the mission, Zoro reminds himself, leaning his cheek against the stranger's wet shirt, tucking in closer to his warmth as a blue light suddenly involves the both of them.

"Shambles."

And then the forest is quiet, nothing but an abandoned carriage left behind.

[anneapocalypse]

Thoughts Before Endwalker

As I'm about to start Endwalker, I thought it was high time I actually write up some closing thoughts on Shadowbringers, and since I really haven't done this for any of the other expansions, this has turned into a general "thoughts so far" kind of post! And also long. This is not any kind of an essay, just a big long thoughts dump. Spoilers for everything through the end of the Shadowbringers patches.

And I trust I don't have to say this to my own followers at least, but just for the record: please do not tell me anything about Endwalker here, even if you think it's minor, even if you want to hint at something I'll like. I know very little and I'm looking forward to watching it all unfold.

How it started!

It's been a year and change since I started playing this game in the fall of 2022. I didn't actually expect to play very far (I only picked it up in the first place because I was helping a friend set it up! I swore I would never play an MMO! I hated multiplayer games!) and I certainly didn't ever expect to get as deep into it as I have! ARR is very handholdy for new players, which was exactly what I needed to enjoy playing and keep playing. I love the story and the characters and the world and while I do enjoy the solo aspects of the game very much, I've also ended up really actively enjoying playing with other people! I enjoy dungeons. I enjoy raids. I run roulettes more or less every day. Free Company life hasn't always been smooth sailing (long story I won't get into here), but it's also brought me a lot of fun times and some new friends, as well as seeing me step into an active leadership role and not hate it. Who am I? 😂 I don't know! It's not that I've never tried to step out of my comfort zone before when it comes to games and hobbies, it's just that most of those experiences haven't been good and I've ultimately walked away from them. I don't know why this has been different, but it has. It's challenged me to tackle and let go of a lot of old insecurities, which I'm glad for (and grateful to friends who've been patient with me along the way). It's also just been a really good time, and continues to be.

How it's gone! (ARR through Stormblood)

So here I am, in 2024, about to start the last current expansion! Shadowbringers is easily my favorite expansion thus far, but I have really enjoyed the whole ride.

I enjoyed all of ARR, because while I don't think it has the strongest writing and certainly not the strongest characterization, it's really more a very long introduction to the world and its major players and conflicts, and while slow-moving, it does serve that function, and for someone brand-new to MMOs like me, slow was okay. It gave me time to get my bearings and learn the game.

I did really love Heavensward. It hits on several aspects of Fantasy Politics that I enjoy (generations-long war, class politics, structural reform), and postwar Ishgard, while maybe still a little rosy, still doesn't shy away from the growing pains of social change. Also the dragons were cool. I loved Haurchefant a lot, and was heartbroken by his death even as I knew it was coming; I also wouldn't change it. I think his death was meaningful and the natural culmination of his character. A Knight lives to serve. I think Haurchefant was always going to go out sacrificing himself for someone else. If it hadn't been the Vault, it would have been somewhere else. He was a delight and I miss him dearly, but it was a good narrative beat and one I wouldn't change.

Ysayle, on the other hand, I really don't think needed to die. She undergoes a fascinating character arc in Heavensward which I think the writing really drops the ball on at the end. Ideally, I think Ysayle coming to terms with her missteps while continuing to fight for what she believes in would be fantastic. She could have been a meaningful figure in Ishgard's reforms, and she would have made a great Scion. Her death also simply isn't treated with the same reverence as Haurchefant's, and I think that's sad. Heavensward has a bit of a Women Problem, in that it really doesn't give us a lot of female characters who are central to the plot, in contrast to a lot of great and memorable male characters. And the one who is most central dies with a lot less fanfare than WoL BFF Haurchefant. (And I'm not knocking Haurchefant, whom I love dearly, or Aymeric or Estinien! The imbalance is just very noticeable and I wish it wasn't so.)

Stormblood tends to get a bad rap among FFXIV's expansions. It's so common to hear people say it's their least favorite, it wasn't as good as Heavensward, etc. It came up recently in a server I'm in, where a newer player said they were having a bit of content fatigue after Heavensward, and having heard that Stormblood wasn't very good, they were considering buying a story skip. Other responses were, not outright negative, but mostly lukewarm, and I felt like I was the only one who really came out for Stormblood's story. First of all, I don't agree that it's not as good as Heavensward! I grant you that not everyone is as enamored of Fantasy Politics as I am, but as mentioned above, Heavensward is also very political, so I don't really think that's the big difference. Stormblood is maybe a bit grittier in its depiction of war, and that's something I like about it; it's really about the horrors of imperialism and the cost of resistance, and it doesn't pull its punches on that.

Ironically where it does pull its punches is with character deaths, heroes and villains alike. It does feel a little like someone thought they might have hit us too hard in Heavensward, given that we haven't had a lot of major character deaths stick since. I'm not complaining about Gosetsu's return, as I liked him very much and was very happy he lived. I will grumble a little about Zenos, though I'll go easy because I know a lot of people like him. 😛 He just doesn't do much for me. Yotsuyu was a great villain, and I was really dubious when they brought her back, but was pleasantly surprised with how her story ended, to the point that I'm willing to eat a lot of what I said about memory loss as a plot device. They did well with it, and her ultimate death did feel appropriate. Yotsuyu was never going to have a redemption arc, because she didn't want to be redeemed.

It was very refreshing in Stormblood to have more female characters taking essential roles in the plot. Colorism issues aside, I do really like Lyse as a character, and I also loved seeing Yugiri and Alisaie taking prominent roles, especially Alisaie who really hadn't gotten to be in the main plot much before. Rolling around with the three of them was a blast. Raubahn is also a favorite of mine, so seeing him play a major role in Ala Mhigo's liberation and get some character development was excellent. I'm happy that he's stayed involved with the Resistance in the time since.

I also just think Stormblood's new areas are absolutely beautiful. Kugane and the Azim Steppe are particular faves, but I just think they did a great job with the environments and I loved exploring them, including the underwater bits! Eorzea and Ishgard are so European-inspired, and I really enjoyed seeing Asian cultural influences in a fantasy setting. It is after all a Japanese game!

Just this week I finished the reconstruction of the Doman Enclave. As a player who's joined the game more recently, it's always bittersweet to learn about game elements that were temporal and are now lost to time, like the evolution of Mor Dhona during the ARR patches, or the Ishgardian Restoration in the Firmament. I can go hang out in the Firmament and craft and do fêtes and custom deliveries, but I'll never get to see the Firmament being built. It was done when I got there, which for me was after completing 3.3, very soon after completing the main story of Heavensward. The Doman Enclave goes in the other direction. It is a solo experience by necessity, but it's an experience that every new player can have: making their donations every week and watching the Enclave grow. Such things are always a trade-off for an MMO, but between the two, I would definitely choose the one that doesn't lock new players out of the experience.

And to give one last shout-out to Stormblood, I think it's pretty essential setup for what's happening when Shadowbringers begins. It's not just that the Scions are dropping like flies, it's that this is happening on the brink of a full-scale Garlean invasion. Said invasion is also critical to the bad future that G'raha is ultimately trying to prevent. The state and history of Garlemald is inextricably tied to the Ascians who are tied up in all of this. Stormblood is arguably more important to the events of Shadowbringers than Heavensward is, though Heavensward is also not unimportant, both with the continued presence of Estinien (reluctantly so if we believe him 😉), and with the involvement of Tiamat in the Shadowbringers patches. It's all connected!

How it's going! (Shadowbringers)

Urianger is, unsurprisingly, a big part of why I love Shadowbringers so much, as he gets some wonderful character development there and actually gets to be in the plot! But it's not only him—I like how character-driven Shadowbringers is overall, how much the major characters are driving the story and not merely reacting to events. ARR was largely driven by the world itself; the expansions are where the story starts to become character-driven. The driving forces of Heavensward's are much bigger than the main characters, but Haurchefant and Ysayle and Aymeric and Estinien bring a personal face to the conflict and a reason for us to be invested in it. Stormblood's emotional core is Lyse, Yugiri, Gosetsu, and their collective drive to liberate their homelands from Garlean occupation.

Shadowbringers, to me, really brought all of that home. It's not only character-driven but it brings a much more personal touch, I think, to the Scions themselves, with the major players being characters we've known since ARR but now get to know in a deeper way. I've always liked Y'shtola as a character but never felt I really connected with her, and Shadowbringers changed that, even as her story in Shadowbringers is in many ways about her isolation from the others, her (sometimes justified) mistrust and the way she closes herself off even to the people closest to her. Yet there is a deep caring beneath Y'shtola's prickliness as well, which we see in her leadership of the Night's Blessed, the new family she is willing to risk her life for. She's complex and difficult, sometimes angry and stubborn, and we all know I love that in a fictional woman. I really gained a deeper appreciation for her as a character here.

I've said my piece on Minfilia already, so I'll try not to repeat myself too much. I will say that Thancred is the main character I have the hardest time with in Shadowbringers. I appreciated the additional character development given to him at first, but as the story made Minfilia's death more and more all about him to the exclusion of everyone else, the more I started to kind of resent it. It really gets under my skin how he treats Ryne for like, the entire time until Minfilia Prime's final departure. The narrative kind of treats it like oh, he just has a hard time expressing how he really feels! and honestly I don't fully agree with that framing. I think Thancred's cold and harsh attitude toward Ryne does reflect how he really feels at that time—namely, he's angry and lonely and upset for valid reasons, but he's taking them out on a teenager who's fully dependent on him for her survival, to the point that she admits she thinks he hates her. His legitimate pain doesn't justify that to me, and it really kinda chaps my ass how everyone just agrees that he's the one with the most claim to call Ryne family, when Urianger was far kinder, gentler, and more comforting to Ryne than Thancred ever was. And Urianger was in pain too. He also regrets what happened to Minfilia, and his part in it. He was carrying a terrible secret that he couldn't tell his closest friends, which put one of those friends' life in danger. He just owned his feelings, instead of taking them out on a scared kid. I know my bias is obvious, and I swear I don't hate Thancred 😛 but I really didn't like his behavior here and I wasn't really satisfied with the way the narrative handled it.

Probably my least favorite part of Shadowbringers was Vauthry. I just do not like "fat" as shorthand for "evil" and I think there could have been better ways to design him that didn't fall back on that trope. Even Dulia-Chai, a very lovable character in the end whomst we stan, does fall into some fatphobic tropes, and it's unfortunate that in a game without much body diversity (not to single out FFXIV, that's a problem for games generally), we only got fat character models as signifiers for "rich person" (yeah, I get that "fat cat" is the joke, it's just not a good joke) and "repulsive, evil abomination." No love!

On a lighter note, the return of G'raha Tia as the Crystal Exarch was simply wonderful. G'raha was very cute and fun during the Crystal Tower story but his presence was quite short-lived, so we didn't fully get to know him then. I think it's pretty easy to guess that it's him under the hood; he has a distinctive voice and lip shape and also the tower is right there. So the question becomes why he is hiding his identity, what his true motives are, and that's all intriguing! The fact that his plan hinges on his pretending to be the villain at the end and he utterly fails at convincing anyone is… deeply charming. But one of the things I love most about him is the kindness he extends to the people of Norvrandt. Even though his primary mission is the salvation of the Source, he gets attached to these people, offers up the resources of the Crystal Tower freely to improve their lives, helps build a home and sanctuary, fights for the First and becomes deeply invested in their survival as well. He has a huge heart, and I love him. I'm delighted that he gets to return and join the Scions at the end, and it's already been a lot of fun to have him along on the patch quests.

And of course, Urianger my love. 💜 He really shines in this story and every scene with him was a delight, even when I was climbing the walls needing to know what he was hiding. He gets so much good character development in Shadowbringers I could go on for hours about it, but I did especially love the Echo scene where you see G'raha asking him to lie—and you see how much he doesn't want to do it. Urianger's really been on a long arc ever since Moenbryda's death, and I don't think that arc is over yet, but my biggest worry for him as the cracks started to form in his story was that we'd find he hadn't changed, and was lying here for the same reasons he did in the Heavensward patches, and as easily. And that's not the case at all. He hated doing it before, and he really doesn't want to do it again, but G'raha's reasoning is just too strong for him to refuse. I brought it up recently but I think Shadowbringers reveals an Urianger who despite his long isolation really doesn't want to be alone, and does want his friends' understanding and approval and their trust. The look he gives the Warrior of Light if they say they trust him, and then the way he submits himself to their judgment when things go wrong while begging to be allowed to help fix things… god. I love him. And I'll stop there for now, since I'm sure I'll have a lot more to say about him in the future. ;)

Emet-Selch is a fascinating villain, certainly the most interesting Ascian we've seen so far, and the one who finally turns what have been fairly two-dimensional powerful bad guys into a truly motivated and complex faction. My favorite villains are always the ones who believe they're the hero, and there are a lot of parallels between Emet-Selch and Solas from Dragon Age: Inquisition which will be obvious to anyone who's played both games. FFXIV being a more linear story afford the player a lot less choice in how they respond to their villains true motives and history, but there's definitely still an expectation that we will sympathize somewhat with Emet-Selch, and recognize the tragedy of what happened to his people.

Ardbert's ghost, too, was a welcome addition to the story. Between his presence and the role quests (which were 100% worth doing in their entirety), I felt like we finally got to actually know the Warriors of Darkness against which we briefly clashed back in the Heavensward patches, and I really felt the pathos of their story, all they fought for and lost, but also their friendship and how they cared for one another.

Shadowbringers is beautiful in so many ways. The design of the Crystarium is gorgeous. Il Mheg is probably my favorite location in the game so far. Eulmore is a fascinating dark mirror of Limsa Lominsa. The way the game takes the idea of "a world being swallowed by light" and interprets that visually is so stunning. The sky over Lakeland arrests you immediately upon arrival, and the crystallization of the Flood of Light where it was halted at the edged of Amh Araeng is a chilling reminder of how much the First has already lost. The music has also been a highlight for me! I really adore the Shadowbringers music, and it has prompted me to go about collecting orchestrion rolls more deliberately than I had before.

The more I sit and write about how much I loved this expansion, the more I think of, so while I could definitely go on, I think I'll wrap it up there. 🙂

Onward to Endwalker. I'm not making any predictions this time, because I have done my absolute damnedest to stay unspoiled for this one and I know very little about what's coming other than what the locations are, what's been revealed in the Shadowbringers patches, and that it's the end of the big story arc we've been on since ARR. I'm extremely excited.

[cassynite]

So there was a writing exercise introduced in the discord to have your KC explain why they love their LI. I decided to do it for Sparrow and Daeran to get out of my writing funk and I got this!!!

Anyway I know a few other people were planning on doing something similar and I encourage anyone who's intrigued to do it as well because it was fun and very helpful! Though mine isn't entirely about Sparrow just explaining her feelings lol.

------

"Why do you love him?"

Sparrow, Countess Arendae, blinks from where she sits across from you in the tea room of Heaven's Edge, the rare sign that she's surprised at the question. You don't blame her--you're surprised you asked. You hadn't intended to. This was meant to be a short visit, one full of meaningless talk and, maybe, the thing you actually came here to say if you were brave enough. Not this.

But you've long since come to peace with the fact that your mouth gets ahead of your brain more often than not. You just wish you hadn't done it here, with the heavenly former Knight Commander of the Fifth Crusade and one of the most important people in Mendev. She looks the part now more than ever, a noble in truth: with her bright fine though unfashionably high-waisted dress, the ribbons pulling her hair back, the jewelry glittering at her neck and arms, the feathers on her face and her folded wings shining under the sun that pours into the room. She looks like a portrait you'd find hanging in the walls of a palace, and you are grubbier than you've ever been, after weeks on the road and still wearing your armor. You don't deserve to push into Sparrow's personal life.

It had just been a question nagging at you for years now, ever since the marriage was first announced. You'd heard the rumors, of course--that it was arranged, by the queen as a reward so that the successful Knight Commander could be titled a princess, by the queen as punishment to finally pull in Count Arendae's reckless and rakish ways, by the two themselves as a political alliance to do some high-minded things you would never be able to wrap your head around without hurting your brain in the process. Certainly, no one ever thought that the infamous noble pain in the ass and Sparrow married for anything resembling affection. And yet, they were wrong. You were wrong.

You're not here to try and dig into why Sparrow took the title and the manor you currently sit in, when it's attached to one of the nastiest people you've had the displeasure of meeting. But to your surprise, Sparrow doesn't look away and change the subject, or pin you with a thousand-pound stare meant to make you regret entering the room. Instead, her expression softens, turns thoughtful. She's actually coming up with a response. You hold your breath to stop yourself from blurting out anything before she starts, a surefire way to make sure she never finishes her sentence. Even if you don't deserve to know, you are curious.

Finally, after several moments of silence, she says, "He makes me laugh."

Is that it? you almost say. I made you laugh, too, you definitely do not say. But she sees something of it on your face--the first one, hopefully not the second--because her mouth quirks up the tiniest bit, the closest Sparrow ever gets smile. It makes you relax a little in your chair. Sparrow never, ever smiles without meaning it.

"I don't know how to describe it," she finally admits. "How do you speak on nature of love? Sometimes it feels like I've always loved him. That there's never been reason, just existence of it." Another pause as Sparrow struggles to place her words. "He makes me laugh, when there is so little to laugh for. He is--he can be--kind, and thoughtful, and when he looks at me like I'm the only person in the room I know he means it. He..."

Sparrow turns her attention to the window, to the gardens beyond. From your vantage point you can see the entrance to the manor, stone steps leading to the door that opens to the main hall. There are giant flowering shrubs lining the staircases, slightly untamed but still cared for. It's almost summer and the weather has only just become bearable this far north for you; the animals that live here, however, are far more used to the freezing air, and there is life exploding outside, providing movement where the windless air does not. Bees buzz around open flowers, butterflies flit through the air, and birds call from their places in the tree branches beyond the main courtyard.

"His family died here," Sparrow comments. You jerk back to her at the sound of her voice, wide-eyed.

"Uh..."

"It's not a secret," she continues, as still and calm as the trees outside. "Anyone in Mendev can speak on the bare bones of the tragedy of the Arendae line. The Count's family died, and badly. They died in these rooms, and then my husband left, because he couldn't stay."

You did know this already. Sparrow isn't joking that it's common knowledge; when you brought up where you were headed at the nearby Pathfinder lodge, the quartermaster there told you the entire sordid history, just casual conversation. Demons, plague, and a single survivor, just a child at the time. It's all very sad, but it makes you wonder why Sparrow is bringing it up.

"During the march to Drezen, we passed by Heaven's Edge. At my request we visited it, and he threw a party here, forced liveliness into the halls where a demon murdered his family. I didn't understand it at the time; but then, grief is so personal. There is no wrong way to mourn and I wasn't going to judge. Even if I did there were...other circumstances involved as well. It wasn't until after that I realized how terrifying this place was for him, how lonely it had made him. And how he refused to just let it fester as the place where he lost everyone he cared about. He didn't just abandon it--and when the war was over, he came back and he made this place a home with me."

Your hands clench the armrest. She's talking about the Count, but is she really talking about you, who ran away from the place that hurt you and the life that trapped you? Or is she seeing herself, someone who also tried to run away in a moment that makes you flinch even now? You're not sure which is worse--maybe she's not comparing him to anyone at all, which you think might be the actual worst option, that she does not think of you enough to put you side-by-side with the man she loves.

Sparrow's knuckles press against her lips, deep in thought. You've rarely, if ever, seen her put so much care into her words, and unlike you, Sparrow has never been someone who speaks carelessly to begin with. The weight of it, what she's telling you, wraps around you both, makes the sitting room feel small and intimate. "To search for joy in the teeth of spite. Staring at the ghost of the place you loved and refusing to let it go forever...it's brave. I've always thought it was brave, how he refuses to walk away from the things he loves. He stays, even when it's difficult, and he refuses to let life make him anything but happy or keep him from the things he loves. He makes me want to hold on. He finds joy in living, and it me want to live even when it's frightening."

Your breath catches in your throat. She's not looking at you, but you can feel her attention anyway, noticing your reaction to how the conversation has become more than just the shape of Sparrow's love. He stays. And you didn't, and you hadn't meant to hurt Sparrow the way you did, you hadn't thought it would hurt, but it's been a long time since you last left Heaven's Edge in tears and misplaced anger, and you've finally learned that not meaning it, or not knowing, had never been an excuse.

It's enough to make your rehearsed words, the speech you practiced, fly from your brain; but it also gives you the strength say the actual thing you had come here to say. "I'm sorry," you tell her. "For...for everything." It's not enough, but you don't think even the long speech you'd written on the way here would be enough. All the work you've done on yourself and for others since you left isn't enough, and nothing you ever will do could be enough either. You can't change the past. You can't become someone who stayed.

"I know." It's not forgiveness, but her voice is gentle and her expression when she finally looks at you is kind. "I'm glad you came anyway."

The conversation moves on, and the intensity in the room slowly lets go of its grip in the conversation. It's not much longer before there's movement outside--a horse carrying a single passenger in fine riding clothes, his long hair glinting like raw sunlight. He jumps off with practiced ease, turning to where you know the stables are. For a moment, his head turns to the window where you both sit and you swear he sees you both, even at a distance. Even if he doesn't, the moment he sees your mare in the stables he is going to know who has come by.

"I should go," you say, rising. You'd already spent more time here than you expected you'd be allowed, and the last thing you want to do is struggle through another conversation with Sparrow's too-smart, too-cruel husband. Sparrow might be happy you are here, but Count Arendae made it clear the last time you spoke that he hoped to never see your face again, and you can't imagine that opinion has changed over the years.

"You don't have to," Sparrow says. "I already let the staff know there would be three at dinner tonight."

"Ah, well, I don't think the Count is going to be very happy with that--"

"It will be fine. I've been thinking about family," Sparrow cuts you off, so unexpected it stuns you to silence. There is more to her now, than you've ever seen in her. She's grounded, her space filling the room. She's not afraid to speak over objections any more. "And I am tired of staring at the ghosts of the people I loved and letting the pain of it keep me away. If you do not want to stay, there is nothing I can do to keep you, but I would like your visit to continue, and maybe for you to visit again afterward. Besides I have--news, that I hadn't had a chance to speak about now. I would like to tell you about it with my husband present." She holds out a hand to you. "Would you like to stay for dinner?"

You think about the high-waisted dress she's wearing, so oddly out of fashion, and think you might already know the news she's hinting at. But then, you might not--you've never been good about guessing what secrets other people keep. But you want to know, either way. You have missed her for a very long time, and seeing her hand reaching out to you has caused tears to prick at your eyes. After a moment, you finally have the strength to take it. Her grip is as strong as ever.

"Thank you, Sparrow," you say, and her eyes light up at you using her name. "I would love to."

[djemsostylist]

OUAT: What Went Wrong, Part 1

Truthfully to write about what went wrong with OUAT would best be encapsulated by saying "everything" and simultaneously writing a novel. The fact is that OUAT was doomed from the start, I think, in part because the original concept relied on a pre-existing IP and had to undergo changes from there, all of which I think were the worst. For the sake of both brevity and bc it isn't totally fair, I won't compare OUAT to Fables, the other famous "fairy tales in the real world" story. I do think that both could have existed regardless of the other, and OUAT could have done something different and still been interesting. Still I do have to wonder if trying NOT to be Fables made it hard for the writers initially, and that just sort of carried over into, well, everything. That and I just don't think, at the end of the day, the original writers/creators/showrunners were very good.

The thing is, I wanted OUAT to be good. I really did. I have always been in love with fairy tales, ever since my early days as a Disney girl, and while I'm not even close to what you could call a Disney adult, I have continued to love fairy tales. The magic, the wonder, the simplicity, but also the darkness which is inherent in everyone. I actually really like the initial re-concept for OUAT, which was to focus more on goodness and kindness and good always winning out--I am, after all, perennially on the side of the "good guys" in media, and the concept is one I think is appealing.

But OUAT was doomed from the start. To be honest, I don't think I needed to watch 6 seasons to make this list, but it is gratifying to know that the problems inherent in season 1 continue to plague the show through it's far too long run. Now it's worth noting that my issues with this show are the same as they are with many a show, particularly those of network tv back in the day. These issues certainly aren't unique to OUAT, but unlike many shows which started strong and devolved into something terrible, OUAT has virtually nothing to recommend it. And so, if I may, the list.

5 Things OUAT Did Wrong

The Casting: The casting was...bad. The problem with pretty much the entire cast is that no one, at any point, had any chemistry with each other. And I'm not talking just romantic chemistry, I mean friends, parents, children--at no point in the entire show did I ever feel a connection between any of the characters. It wasn't that they weren't trying--you could tell they were, but the lack of any sort of connecting chemistry made everything, everything, fall flat. In fact I think it's telling that the arrival of Hook made them do a rewrite because for the first time two people on the show had the merest touch of chemistry and it made the writers want to grab what little there was. The problem is that none of the characters felt believable in their roles, with perhaps the exception of Lana Parrilla as Regina. Jennifer Morrison was absolutely the wrong choice for Emma Swan. She's not a bad actress (she's not good by any means but she isn't unwatchable), but her energy and vibes are not fairy tale. She has what may politely be described as "resting storm cloud face", meaning she always looks downtrodden and vaguely haggard, which perhaps would have worked for early Emma with her walls, but doesn't work when she starts to believe and then becomes lighter and softer with the love of her family. Additionally, Emma is supposed to be 28--a pleasant age, honestly, and I approve, but Morrison was 32 at the time. Now, four years isn't that big of a difference, but her vibes push her older, and Emma ends up feeling more like a depressed 35 year old and less like a 28 year old who has been hurt by the world. She doesn't shine in her softer moment, and when she's put into dresses and girly things, the result is comical at best, and becomes outright ridiculous when they slap glasses on her and have her pretend to be 18. This is true of most of the cast. Charming and Snow White are at their best in the penultimate episode when they are forced to sing--the rest of the time, their vibes are that of lost theater kids who accidentally wandered onto a tv set--not a king and queen. Even the kid (and I hesitate to judge child actors because life is hard enough) just doesn't have it. He plays Henry extremely one note--a good kid who just believes in magic, and his earnestness only works for so long. At some point he's unable to transition to even the bare minimum moments of teenage surliness the script asks of him, and ultimately Henry leaves you tired. Lana Parrilla is the best at her role, because she manages to embody both sides of the character--the strength, cruelty, and anger of the Evil Queen, and the softness and understanding of Regina Mills. Colin O'Donoghue does alright as Hook, although at some point you feel like perhaps he's just phoning it in (though I'd hardly blame him). Emilie de Ravin as Belle suffers from the same issues as Jennifer Morrison--she's older than the character by a little and feels it by a lot, and her acting is barely tolerable most of the time. Robert Carlyle is a fine actor for network tv I suppose, but his role as Rumple is...strange. Again--I'd argue that he's too old for the role. Rumpelstiltskin should feel timeless, ageless--he's an immortal being after all--and instead you just sort of increasingly feel his age as time goes on. I know people will probably be angry for this, and to be clear I usually laugh at the idea that every has to be young in a show, but for this, you needed characters who could do both--feel young and vulnerable, seem ageless and strong, seem young but feel old. Instead, everyone feels solidly middle aged, and tired not in a "well of course they are always fighting evil" way, but in a "they've stayed to late a the office writing spreadsheets" kind of way.

The Story--the story makes no sense. None, whatsoever. The story was quite clearly conceived from the basic plot of Fables--what happens if fairy tale characters lived in the real world--but when they couldn't use Fables, they made a few changes and thought through--well nothing. The very basic premise itself makes no sense, and each season only makes it more of a headscratcher. The basic plot is this: The Evil Queen from Snow White casts a Dark Curse on a land of fairy tale characters to transport them to a land without magic, where in 28 years they will be saved by the Savior, who is a special magical person bc she was conceived by True Love, the most powerful magic of all. But I have a lot of questions, NONE of which are answered by the show. We know Storybrooke is frozen essentially--time doesn't move for 28 years, which is why no one ages, etc. But the question is this--why does no one notice? Did Regina, in addition to giving them false memories, also do something to make them never question things? Are they trapped in a sort of vague deja vu, groundhog day situation where things never change but are also not quite the same and they don't really remember the previous day but don't quite forget it, but aren't aware of the passage of time? Do they know it's years passing but the spell makes them not care/not feel it? How would you explain Henry coming to Storybrooke and growing and changing, when no one else does? I'll assume the kids Snow is teaching aren't growing--is that just a thing the spell makes no one wonder? Was Henry the only infant in town? Did he notice he was the only one growing up? And further--if they came to Storybrooke in 1980 something, and Emma arrived in 2011--why did they never actually seem to be living in the 80s? Emma arrived in a Storybrooke that has been, at least in flashbacks, perennially in 2011. How? Why? Did Regina pick a time period and time lock the town, and Emma's arrival just happened to coincide? Was the time picked by the Curse? How did Regina get Henry in, but no one else, in all that time, ever came in or out? Did the entirety of the Enchanted Forest get transported there? So there are old people and young people and babies and kids and everyone is just stuck and no one notices? How did time start advancing when Emma got there, but then no one else noticed that either? Did they wake up and suddenly Mary Margaret realizes that she has a closet full of 28 years of bird houses? Further, what was she teaching in school? No one ever left Storybrooke--were they even aware of the larger world? Was she teaching Earth world history? Math? Was everything just sort of a vague weirdness? They say Henry felt weird and that's why she gave him the story book, but they never say WHAT'S weird. The story is just like "yeah, they lived in a town frozen for 28 years in 2011" and then do like...nothing with it.

The Costumes--I assume the conversation surrounding budget and costuming went like this: "Choose a mall. Not a good one, one of those small, outlet strip ones that's almost going out of business. All the princess dresses must come from that one store that sells prom dresses for under $100, the rest of your costumes come from whatever stores have a 'going out of business' sign. Makeup from Claires, shoes from Payless. Nothing over $50. All weapons from Party City. They never closed Spirit Halloween so go wild." Because my god. The first time a fairy appeared on screen I gasped. Literally out loud because in all my wildest dreams I could never possibly have imagined a more embarrassingly hideous outfit. At one point in the show, about four episodes in, I assumed the costume designers were intentionally doing it poorly, because what earthly reason could they have for making it that bad??? Regardless of the fact that it was ABC and I know they had at least some Disney money backing them, the costumes were embarrassing at every level. Sticking grown women in dresses suitable for a teenager going to a party with sparkly eyeshadow does not a fairy tale make. It also makes it hard to take seriously.

Part 2...

[roshield]

ACHIEVED

GLIMPSES OF THE PAST

send ACHIEVED for a scene from my muse's past in which they completed / achieved something they were proud of

"Are you nervous?"

The question from Jill isn't anything of a surprise to the young lord. Clive looks over at the girl, Torgal scooped up in her arms. Despite not being the one partaking in the ducal tournament, she was the one who seemed the most nervous, the way she shuffles her feet a little. She's nervous for him, of course. There's so much riding on this.

"A little," admits Clive as he rolls his shoulders back. He's always been honest with Jill; he is nervous, because there's so much riding on this. Clive may be Joshua's elder brother, but that didn't mean he got the easy path in life, nor did it mean he would automatically be granted First Shield. Like everyone else who has entered the tournament, he had to prove himself.

Like always. Like he's always done ever since he could first walk.

"He'll do just fine, milady." Sir Murdoch's voice rings proudly, a strong hand patting on Clive's shoulder. "He may not have bested me yet, but those participating also have never had me as their tutor, so I'd say the young lord has a good chance of winning." The Lord Commander looks at his student with proudness in his eyes, confidant in him, and Clive can't help but beam a little underneath the praise.

( rodney murdoch had always been like a father to him, stepping in where elwin had failed. it's something he never admits, but he wonders if things would have been better for him and joshua if the brothers had been raised as sir murdoch and lady hanna's sons. living in the small cottage in eastpool, with no worries of being a prince, shield, or a son a mother could love. )

Sir Murdoch's words do, at the very least, ease Jill as well. No longer shuffling in nervousness, she looks up at her friend with a fire burning in her eyes, nodding her head towards him.

"Go get 'em!" She cheers him on, Torgal's tiny barks alongside her encouragement. "Do it for Joshua!"

The young lord nods his head, a smile on his face. He had to win this, no matter what.

For his brother. For the person he swore to protect ten summers ago.

---

It's a close call, certainly, but as the final contestant falls to the ground, Clive ensures his victory.

There's cheers from the crowd around him, some in disbelief that someone so young ( fifteen summers, nonetheless! ) could actually win the ducal tournament, but Clive does. He's worn out, he feels like his legs could give out at any moment, but he's won at that's all that matters to him. He won for his brother.

"Clive!"

Said brother's voice rings outs, and as Clive turns around both Joshua and Jill ( and torgal's little legs, trying to keep up with them ) are running towards him. Joshua barrels into him first, unable to stop himself from throwing his arms around his brother in a hug. Jill, polite as ever, has her hands clasped in front of her with a bright smile on her face.

"You did it." She's breathless, as though she's been holding her breath the entire tournament. Maybe she was, in nervousness for him or in amazement. "You were amazing, Clive."

Clive laughs a little, feeling a little sheepish underneath her gaze. "If you weren't cheering me on, I don't think I would have been able to do it." He meets her smile with one of his own - bright, happy, and something shining for the girl that's only for her.

"I knew you could do it!" Joshua pulls himself away from his brother. "You're going to be be my First Shield now, right?"

There's a small pause. Cerulean eyes glance up to the stands - Elwin sits with a proud smile on his face towards his first born. Anabella is not present at all. Clive didn't expect her to be; she never held much interest in Rosaria's shields.

And she would never hold interest for someone who she refused to recognize as her son.

Clive feels his heart clench. It only unclenches when he looks down at Joshua, whose eyes shine bright with happiness that his elder brother would be his protector. Hs mother doesn't matter in this moment, he realizes.

"Of course, Joshua." The First Shield finally answers, the smile on his face growing. "From this day forth, I will be your shield. And I will see my duty through."

No matter the cost.

[simowis]

Monthly nonsense 23.9

I would prefer Mass Effect to be an Idealism/Realism system than a Paradigm/Renegade system and lean more towards Rationality in its options. Rather than the all-encompassing black/white moral dichotomy. It's a pity they've given up the philosophical space for options

Having gone through another dozen or so Prothean/Javik-related fanfics, I realise that my understanding of him is not quite the same as what's in those fics. After re-examining his behaviour in the game, I'm sticking with my own thought of him.

The understanding of the character necessarily depends on the reader, who is a mirror personality created within each individual. As a reader, I'm pretty open-minded, as long as the fanfic representation of him doesn't drastically conflict with the in-game representation; after all, all of Javik's plot dialogue only adds up to two hours in the game, and he certainly has a lot of room for imagination. As the creator, I also hope that my reflection of Javik's performance doesn't conflict with the game's content, but that's as far as I can go.

The moment the work is made public, it has nothing to do with the author, and the meaning of the work is to be discovered through the reader's interpretation; on the other hand, readers have their own subjective preconceptions, and they can never recover the author's original intention, as Harold Bloom said: "All reading is misreading".

——

Javik says: To the Protheans, the ability to sense touch is as natural as breathing. So I guess for their race, most of the daily communication is done by touch. Talking is a very inefficient way to spread information. They don't have auricles, just modest ear holes. So their auditory system isn't that important, and lower volumes might be inaudible.

I can reasonably surmise that in their flourishing cycle, communication by speech was a condescending courtesy when confronted with other races. Nowadays, with everyone watching countless videos every day, it's easier to imagine. If you have information so important that it would kill everyone not to listen, and you need to tell it to a few primitives, you don't show them your 'magic mobile phone video' right away, because that would scare them, but you learn their language bit by bit and convince them in their own way. That's what Javik is doing. So why would anyone have the impression that he's arrogant?Obviously, his way of dealing with 'primitives' is polite and fair.

——

Javik and the Turrians have very similar opinions about war. They can actually get along quite well. He and Garrus will eventually have a good relationship.

It's interesting to imagine communication between Protheans. Mere touch shouldn't be enough to put the other person in a state of first-person experience, and their tactile exchange should manage to be limited to sharing some of their senses.

How big can his mouth open?

Fanfic is so hard to write :(

The Hanar language translator may have come from the Protheans, as the Protheans' gift allowed them to help the Hanar move from an optical language to a sonic one.

I always thought prothean was once aquatic.

I get a sense of the ideological differences through country differences in fiction.

Love is selfish, love is possessive, love cannot be selfless. That's why protheans don't get it.

I often wonder what kind of advice he would give me if I didn't do well enough. Maybe he'd say something about not being able to compete with others, or maybe he didn't care too much about it, or maybe he'd say not to overwork yourself and that the most important thing is your body? He's not as strict as Vegeta, not in the way that Vegeta would strive for perfection. Maybe he'll be the side of my personality that tells me to do things in a moderate way.

what kind of music fit him?

So Javik use the word “affection”, not “love”, to comment the “join” fact about Shepard…hmm.

His subconscious was filled with despair. Without stopping his speech, his line includes how to live and how to die properly. This is the truth of his inner thoughts.

I had thought that the internet would be eternal, and that my story would be seen by more and more people as it was shared on the internet. But no, the Internet is still young and has yet to suffer major setbacks, parasitic on countless companies, servers and personal computers. The carriers of information are constantly changing. How many oracle bones can the current generation see, how many old books still contain all the information? The medium evolves, iterates. The old medium gets old and disappears with most of its information. I envy the Prothean Echo Shard, the high level of technology they have preserved is testament to the peak of their civilisation. The stories of the Protheans can be remembered for as long as there is a single Prothean left in the world.

I feel like my love for him has calmed down a bit. Instead of a blazing fire, it's now quietly smoldering. It's been four months and I've been blazing a little longer than last time. He's still there, he's become a part of me.

LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!

Still cannot resist him, cannot love any other person now, oh, why?

It was clearly ill-considered and made most people think negatively of him when he said something like 'rule over you primitives' in the first communication in Normandy. It probably didn't matter to him, there was no hope of resurrection, his race was gone, all he had to do was find a battlefield to die on. He had never thought that there might be a future, even if it wasn't his own.

Want to hear Mordin’s suggestion about sex with prothean and human…

It feels like he would say that you humans are full of liars and that your race needs a great purge. Then he listened some more and understood. So, there are so many different factions of your race, then he can understand and says that your race is very skillful in deceiving each other tactically.

[cattatonically]

How to Kill Men and Get Away With It - Katy Brent (Kitty Collins, book 1)

Synopsis

Meet Kitty Collins.

FRIEND. LOVER. KILLER.

He was following me. That guy from the nightclub who wouldn’t leave me alone.

I hadn’t intended to kill him of course. But I wasn’t displeased when I did and, despite the mess I made, I appeared to get away with it.

That’s where my addiction started…

I’ve got a taste for revenge and quite frankly, I’m killing it.

A deliciously dark, hilariously twisted story about friendship, love, and murder. Fans of My Sister the Serial Killer, How to Kill Your Family and Killing Eve will love this wickedly clever novel!

My Thoughts

Kitty Collins is rich. She's an Instagram influencer. And at first glance, she comes off as vapid and shallow. But the more we get to know Kitty, the more apparent it becomes that she finds the entire facade tiring. Exhausting. Troublesome. Especially when it comes to her friends, who really only care about things at face-value, and only care about what looks good on social media and the press.

But everything changes for Kitty after a bit of an accident where a man who was following her home after a night out - thinking she owed him something, of course - trips, falls, and dies. Well, he threw a wine bottle at her head first, so she pushed him away, and he impaled his neck on a bottle shard. But those are just details.

But that's the moment everything changes for Kitty, and honestly, I'm here for it.

If there's one thing this book has instilled, it's that one thing does remain common between rich women and poor women - men will always, without fail, treat us all like pure shit. This is not a new concept. This is what women have been telling the world for millennia - and the world still isn't really listening, especially not with misogynist Nazis in positions of power all over the global political climate. (Yeah. They're Nazis. I'm calling them as I see them, don't like it, stop reading and fuck off.)

But the fact remains - this book speaks to that on a very, very personal level. It speaks to the abject fear and terror most women have for just *existing* in the world. The terror or walking home from work alone. The terror of rejecting the advances of the wrong man. The terror of even just being around any man alone without our keys between our fingers as a last-ditch effort at protection. And how sad is it that we need a piece of tongue-in-cheek dark comedy to show the reading masses what women have always known - we are not safe around men.

The more I watch Kitty become a serial killer with an agenda, the more I can't really blame her for all the reasons above. She is sick and tired of the fear, of the terror, of being objectified and treated as a possession. The only difference between her and the rest of us is that she has the finances, power, and privilege to hide in plain sight.

Or maybe not. Because The Creep, her cyberstalker, certainly seems to know what she's been up to.

The identity of the creep truly baffled me. I had my suspicions, but they were slightly off - just a little to the left. I can't say I was necessarily surprised by the reveal, but I didn't have the full eureka moment either. It was definitely more of a "oh, yeah, that tracks" moment, which was honestly very masterfully done. As was Kitty's handling of the situation, of course.

Kitty Collins is a lot of things. She's a good friend, an incredible liar, and a master of wearing masks. All of these skills serve her well dealing with the general public as a socialite. Especially now that she's set on living a normal life with her friends, and her charming boyfriend (who actually didn't set off any red flags, so bonus points for that!)

But at the end of the day, Kitty Collins is a serial killer with an agenda. And I'm here for it.

[shiningdesignersreflections]

Chapter 2: Hope You Are Well

Narrated by Yueniang.

~Content Warning: using someone's deadname~

Narrator: The pergola outside is as magnificent as ever. I wonder if everything is still the same in my room.

Narrator: This is the place that raised me... and once trapped me.

Narrator: When I open the door, however, there is nothing inside.

Butler: Sir, Master asked to have all of your personal belongings disposed of because he didn't want you back here.

Narrator: I know they want me out of the family, but man, they sure are determined.

Narrator: My family cut ties with me right after I graduated from college, but life wasn't unbearably difficult for me.

Narrator: Because every now and then, some people would pay me to write screenplays for them.

Narrator: I didn't even need to guess to know that my brother was behind it. He probably thought I'd never find out.

Narrator: Except it's been quite a while now since anyone last asked me to write them screenplays. Looking back now, it should have been clear that something was wrong.

Yueniang: Good.

Narrator: With my last hope shattered, I walk out of my room and head straight for the other side of the long hallway.

Narrator: Traveling through the hallway, the wind stirs up the fallen leaves piling by the staircase.

Narrator: A certain someone who's no longer in this world used to live in the room behind the tightly shut door at the end of the hallway.

Butler: What are you doing?

Yueniang: I'm just here to look for something.

Butler: You can't go in there!

Yueniang: Stop me if you can.

Butler: Sir, please don't make this difficult for me.

??: Let him be.

Narrator: Coming from behind us is a crisp voice, purposefully kept so low to exude an authoritative air.

Narrator: The shadow on the floor towers over me and traps me within it. Dumbfounded for a split second, the servant lowers his head politely.

Butler: Sir Zicheng.

Yue Zicheng: Off you go.

Narrator: When I raise my head, I see him... dressed in a silver-edged long robe, with buttons properly done all the way up to the collar.

Narrator: The long robe most certainly isn't his most fashionable of outfits, but it matches the air he carries.

Narrator: Looking sharp. Guess that's what makes all the ladies crazy about you, huh?

Yue Zicheng: What are you doing back here, Zilang?

Narrator: It's been a while since someone last called me by that name. There was a time when I went by Yue Zilang, but that was quite a while ago.

Yueniang: I'm here to collect my belongings.

Narrator: Without saying anything else, I turn around and open the door. As the door creaks open, a smell of age comes rushing out of the room.

Narrator: The closet in the corner, the beaded curtain, the wooden casket... everything in the room is exactly as I remember where they were.

Narrator: This is the room Mother and I used to live in.

Yue Zicheng: How are you?

Yueniang: I've been doing as well as you have.

Yue Zicheng: What are you taking with you? I can get someone to help you with it, but just don't let Father see you around, or else...

Yueniang: Or else what?

Yue Zicheng: Or else he'll pretend you don't ever exist, he said.

Yueniang: Well, I'm so broke now that I'll probably starve to death in just a few days, which I suppose must be good news to him.

Yue Zicheng: Wait, let me get one of our servants to make you some food.

Yueniang: No!!!

Narrator: This guy hasn't changed a bit... he always pretends to care about you when he never actually cares about what you really care about.

Yue Zicheng: Let me know if you need any financial support. I'll make sure Father doesn't find out. If you need a job, we can definitely help you get one, too.

Yueniang: Help me get one? The same way they helped you get yours?

Narrator: I want to bombard him some more in the heat of the moment, but couldn't manage to get words out of my mouth when I see him shocked by what I said.

Narrator: I can't be sure if he's just saying all these out of a sense of responsibility as the family's heir, or is he just being nice because we're siblings.

Narrator: Regardless, he chose to side with the family after Mother's death. He covered up the past and the truth alongside the family.

Yueniang: I'm taking this because it belongs to my mother.

Narrator: I wave the hairpin at him that I just found as I close the drawer.

Narrator: As I hold the hairpin in my hand, I see a photo fall out of a crack in the drawer. In the photo, Mother is holding me, with Yue Zicheng standing right beside us.

Yue Zicheng: You were just two then.

Narrator: We both reach out for the photo. Looking him in the eye, I straighten myself up.

Narrator: Transfixed, he quietly picks up the photo. Dusting it with those long fingers of his, he walks down memory lane.

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

[postmirror]

Chapter 2 – Hope You Are Well

The pergola outside is as magnificent as ever. I wonder if everything is still the same in my room. This is the place that raised me – and once trapped me. When I open the door, however, there is nothing inside.

Steward: Sir, Master asked to have all of your personal belongings disposed of because he didn't want you back here.

I know they want me out of the family, but man, they sure are determined. My family cut ties with me right after I graduated from college, but life wasn't unbearably difficult for me. Because every now and then some people would pay me to write screenplays for them. I didn't even need to guess to know that my brother was behind it. He probably thought I'd never find out.

Except it's been quite a while now since anyone last asked me to write them screenplays. Looking back now, it should have been clear that something was wrong.

Yueniang: Good.

With my last hope shattered, I walk out of my room and head straight for the other side of the long hallway.

-

Traveling through the hallway, the wind stirs up the fallen leaves piling by the staircase. A certain someone who's no longer in this world used to live in the room behind the tightly shut door at the end of the hallway.

Steward: What are you doing?

Yueniang: I'm just here to look fro something.

Steward: You can't go in there!

Yueniang: Stop me if you can.

Steward: Sir, please don't make this difficult for me.

??: Let him be.

Coming from behind us is a crisp voice, purposely kept so low to exude an authoritative air. The shadow on the floor towers over me and traps me within it. Dumbfounded for a split second, the servant lowers his head politely.

Steward: Sir Zicheng.

Yue Zicheng: Off you go.

When I raise my head, I see him–dressed in a silver-edged long robe, with buttons properly done all the way up the collar. The long robe most certainly isn't his most fashionable of outfits, but it matches the air he carries. Looking sharp. Guess that's what makes all the ladies crazy about you, huh?

Yue Zicheng: What are you doing back here, Zilang?

It's been a while since someone last called me by that name. There was a time when I went by Yue Zilang, but that was quite a while ago.

Yueniang: I'm here to collect my belongings.

-

Without saying anything else, I turn around and open the door. As the door creaks open, a smell of age comes rushing out of the room. The closet in the corner, the beaded curtain, the wooden casket–everything in the room is exactly as I remember where they were. This is the room Mother and I used to live in.

Yue Zicheng: How are you?

Yueniang: I've been doing as well as you have.

Yue Zicheng: What are you taking with you? I can get someone to help you with it, but just don't let Father see you around, or else...

Yueniang: Or else what?

Yue Zicheng: Or else he'll pretend you don't ever exist, he said.

Yueniang: Well, I'm so broke now that I'll probably starve to death in just a few days, which I suppose must be good news to him.

Yue Zicheng: Wait, let me get one of our servants to make you some food.

Yueniang: No!!!

This guy hasn't changed a bit–he always pretends to care about you when he never actually cares about what you really care about.

Yue Zicheng: Let me know if you need any financial support. I'll make sure Father doesn't find out. If you need a job, we can definitely help you get one, too.

Yueniang: Help me get one? The same way they helped you get yours?

I want to bombard him some more in the heat of the moment, but couldn't manage to get words out of my mouth when I see him shocked by what I said. I can't be sure if he's just saying all these out of a sense of responsibility as the family's heir, or is he just being nice because we're siblings.

Regardless, he chose to side with the family after Mother's death. He covered up the past and the truth alongside the family.

Yueniang: I'm taking this because it belongs to my mother.

I wave the hairpin at him that I just found as I close the drawer. As I hold the hairpin in my hand, I see a photo fall out of a crack in the drawer. In the photo, Mother is holding me, with Yue Zicheng standing right beside us.

Yue Zicheng: You were just two then.

We both reach out for the photo. Looking him in the eye, I straighten myself up. Transfixed, he quietly picks up the photo. Dusting it with those long fingers of his, he walks down memory lane.

[zorciarkrildrush]

Small vent, everything's fine.

Over family lunch my sister's boyfriend, (who always made it clear he thinks libertarianism is cool and deadass said "But taxation is theft, no? Why should I pay for other people?" Like this is normal and smart) raised the subject of national politics.

I will mention he's young. He's young and was well taken care of his entire life and will have a guaranteed (government, as it happens) job for life. He never left home, he never had to be stressed about poverty, so I always tended to be relatively forgiving towards him. Very clear about where I stand, of course, but I wouldn't start heated arguments with him or anything.

Back to national politics, my entire family votes to the left. This isn't really a talking point - yes, there's debate about which party on the left, specific subjects and so on, but when it comes to things like socialism, progressivism, equality, peace - everybody's on the same page.

Today we talked about which parties we want to support and so on, and when I mentioned my party of choice - has been since I could vote, and maybe one of the most leftist parties there are - he blurted out something like "all they wanna do is raise taxes to give it to religious households".

Yeah dude? That's all they wanna do? Or is that random horse shit you read at the top of some Facebook post before you skipped the rest?

So I snapped back if that's what he thinks I suggest he either read their party manifest (which they consistently follow through with when in power, I'll add), or won't say anything - because it's clear he doesn't know what he's talking about.

Lunch is done and over with and I went to a friend's for the day before going back to my place, but my sister texted me I was rude and he got really offended that I told him not to say anything.

I love my sister, and told her flatly that if I just told someone how I vote and what I care about and he treats it as a joke, like it's something to be flattened to a couple of unappealing (and offensively incorrect) lines, I don't owe him my manners and I'm certainly not going to educate him. Either he decides to educate himself, or I don't want to hear what he has to say.

And like, I care about her happiness and it's clear she loves him, but really? A clueless young libertarian? Ugh.

[animeyanderelover]

14/25 for my Anime Special. This character was suggested and with him I think I have covered up pretty much every Uchiha.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, manipulation, guilt-tripping, isolation, threatening, violence, death

Yandere Izuna Uchiha Hc’s

🔹Izuna as an Uchiha is naturally on the more possessive side. He's greatly devoted to his clan and even if he hides it better than his older brother, he certainly is arrogant because he's an Uchiha as well. Especially considering that he is together with his brother known as one of the strongest members of the clan so when he starts courting his s/o, he is very sure that he'll be able to charm them. You could call him delusional because of his pride since he'll be left puzzled and irritated if you either remain neutral towards him or, god forbid, like someone else.

🔹He lives in times of war so he happens to be more protective even if he will also guarantee that you are at least able to fight and defend yourself if you shouldn't be someone who participates in the constant battles with the Senju. Whilst it doesn't escalate to the level of Madara, Izuna happens to be on the more controlling side himself. You don't have to ask him for permission when you want to leave the house but you always have to tell him where you go and with whom you meet. He isn't such a menace on the outside since he can be quite endearing if he wants to be which is another way to manipulate his darling but he isn't above using the influence he has as well to pressure you into things.

🔹He's less jealous, more irritated whenever you are being very friendly with someone else. We already talked about his delusions and even if he sees his clan and it's members as something superior, he'd never let you like someone besides him. His brother might be somewhat working since a poly relationship is possible but that's outside the topic. The younger Uchiha manages to reach the intimidation skills of Madara though because the glare he can deliver is enough to remind you of your position and your counterpart just as much. Question is who will be stubborn enough to step up against the brother of Madara and one of the strongest in the clan. Izuna expects his darling to step away from someone who tries to flirt as well since they should know their place is besides him, he's considerably less harsher than his brother though.

🔹I'd say that he is more thoughtful and merciful whenever the problem is another Uchiha since Izuna can not see the good outside his own clan. Every outsider is for that matter promptly eradicated if they pose a threat since the love of an Uchiha burns just as bright as their flames and everyone who gets too close will be burned to death. Since the Uchiha are mostly very loyal to their clan and no one would dare to lay a hand on Izuna's darling, the most common occurence is the one that he had someone trying to get too close to his s/o. His method is interesting since he wants to prove his superiority as well as show off to you so the answer is a battle. A fight where everyone is invited to watch and since Uchiha are known to have an ego and fleeing from a fight would only harm one's reputation, Izuna has his opponent already cornered in a tricky situation. He actually wouldn't kill since that isn't his main objective. His goals are to humiliate and remind everyone, including his darling, that anyone who wants you has to pass him first.

🔹It's an abduction less done in a physical way but political way. Izuna is quite persistent and constantly pesters the elders of his clan to allow him to have your hand in marriage. Even if they decline, he's still going to do it anyways. His reputation is already bait enough to awake interest when he makes his intentions obvious, chances are your family will encourage you to get to know him better. Whilst Izuna is willing to wait a bit since he prefers the scenario where you fall in love with him as well for the sake of his own ego, he won't hesitate to use more force either. Once you are married to him there's no way out of it since this bond is sacred.

🔹Madara is going to assist Izuna in his love interest regarding you since Izuna is the only brother he has left and it is clear that Madara would go quite far for Izuna and vice versa. Izuna looks up to his brother simultanously is for that reason a bit jealous though when you spend time with his older brother. Let's dub him the more romantic one from the Uchiha brothers since he doesn't keep up a cold exterior like Madara often tends to do.