#this isn't something that'd bring it down further though

[lycorisicecream]

you don't deserve a happy birthday.

I'm wheezing at this but I also don't know how to properly react since like just imagine walking up to a person irl who's excited for their birthday and you just go "you don't deserve a happy birthday" non-jokingly

I know this is the internet and toxicity doesn't really effect me (I typically just find it funny because I'm used to it) but I still feel like I should bring up the whole "would you do this irl or are you too much of a coward" thing

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.196 thoughts

[Lucky Number Seven]

(Contents: speculation - power system/lore)

"I'll talk about Unbreakable vs. Unbreakable next week," I said, "surely it'll wrap up then," I said...I say it every few weeks, but I really need to stop trying to predict what's going to happen next...ah, am I Untrust?

Funny thing about this week's chapter: last week, I had the thought completely unprompted:

"Huh. y'know, even with their Rules, there isn't any good reason that the Negators are superhumans most of the time. Like just because Andy can't die, that's no reason he should be able to control the flow of his blood. Shen and Feng's martial prowess and inhuman strength are completely unrelated to their Rules, same with Billy's trick shots. I wonder if maybe their non-Negator abilities are somehow tied to their souls"

And I considered bringing it up last week, but it didn't really seem super relevant to what was going on, so I omitted that section cus I didn't want to get super sidetracked, especially with something that was just a wild shot in the dark

AND NOW IT LOOKS LIKE I'M JUST TAKING CREDIT FOR A PREDICTION I NEVER MADE!!! TOZUKA, YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A JACKASS FROM ALL DIRECTIONS!!!

Anyway...this is such a sick development!!! It's a subtle change, but the difference between using one's will to activate their abilities and using one's soul carries such a significant implication for how the power system will develop going forward

For one, the ability to manipulate, shape and project the soul changes the meta drastically since it adds a completely new wrinkle to how battles are fought, basically adding a new tool to everyone's kit in addition to things like Artifacts and teaming up with UMAs while also adding a potential new weakness to every encounter

I get the impression that souls are meant to be immortal since people get reincarnated between loops, but Ruin said that anyone he kills as a Regulator is removed from the loop, implying he can completely kill souls. But is this a unique trait to him, or is it something that anyone can do if they're able to target souls and he's just familiar with the technique?

Then there's the fact that Fuuko was able to impart Unluck without any tools, simply using her raw soul to go straight to meteoric levels. What can everyone else do to augment or circumvent their Rules? Could Chikara project his vision through his soul to lock down enemies from multiple angles without needing to worry about his eyes drying out? Or could he see a target's soul and prevent them from using their powers entirely?

Can Rip damage souls directly and keep them from recovering? Can Billy learn how to copy Rules better by witnessing them directly? Can Shen get a better read on his opponent by seeing their soul's intentions? Can Haruka harden her soul into armor OR harden her body since it's technically external to her soul? Can Sean make his soul Unseen or project parts of his soul to turn others invisible at a distance?

It'd be pretty boring if everyone just started generically making soul chains and soul guns, but if everyone is able to level up their Rules in unique ways, that'd be a great way to further develop the power system beyond what we've seen so far! I honestly wouldn't be surprised if we found out that Juiz has been using her soul to read peoples' visions of justice this whole time, and we'll probably see that in more detail when Julia gains Unjustice

As fun as it is to develop the power system, though, the real question for this chapter is who were those souls with Fuuko? I think it's fair to say that most if not all of us have concluded already that they're the previous holders of Unluck, who have presumably followed Fuuko to watch over her, but that raises a bunch of questions in and of itself

We know that Juiz and Victor never had families, so their continued existence between loops changed nothing (side note: this is a good indicator that Ruin has in fact been present since Loop 1 since he claims to have been created by God directly, which just further goes to show how hard he sucks as a villain), and that Juiz's eventual death led to her soul being incarnated as the child of a childless couple. From this, we can conclude that because Fuuko did not die in L100, her parents didn't have children in L101 as her soul was not present to be born. If these other six Unlucks have been staying with Fuuko this entire time, then that means that none of them were born in L101, as the chain of succession for Unluck could not be reset. How sad! Their ultimate fate was to not be able to live the lives they wanted even in the final "perfect" world! I guess that's still true of any given Negator prior to the current lineup, though, but still, that's tragic in and of itself, isn't it??

Secondly, though, what do they mean they chose Fuuko? All this time, I thought God picked the Negators based on what would cause the biggest tragedy for them: the world's greatest doctor inflicts irreparable wounds, the world's greatest psychic can only tell lies, the world champion ends his career by killing his opponent, a child drops his only living family from a cliff, a husband's only memory of his wife is her death...you can't tell me that these are because of the previous Negators!!! The Gods making those choices makes sense because they're both sadists, but the Negators themselves??? No, there's something more going on here

The Isshin family makes sense, at least, since their ability doesn't carry tragedy in and of itself, though it's possible that they're just maximizing its effectiveness by keeping it exclusive to smiths. I suppose the previous Untrust going for Latla also makes sense in that regard since giving it to someone with inaccurate predictions wouldn't change the trustworthiness of their conclusions. Unrepair is best used in the hands of someone with an understanding of anatomy, Unstoppable is best used by someone with good reaction time, Unchange is best used by someone with a strong desire for consistency, etc.

I think what it might be is that the previous users are also trying to find who can best make use of their powers in the interest of defeating God in the long term, it's just that God still decides when the power is transferred. I don't know what the previous Unlucks saw in Fuuko, but I highly doubt they said "that girl sure loves her parents; wonder how good she'll get with Unluck if we kill them." No, they probably heard her say or saw her do something that implied an interpretation of luck that they saw potential in, and didn't anticipate just how much destruction that she'd be able to cause

Bear in mind, there's no indication that Juiz ever executed any of the previous Unlucks, nor was she particularly worried about who would get it next after Fuuko. This implies that Fuuko's potential for Unluck is uniquely dangerous; the ability isn't a threat, she is, and whatever it is that made her that way is what made the Unlucks choose her

This brings us to the matter of the loop itself: why do the same people get the same abilities every time? My original thought was that either A) God designed the system that way for consistency so the looper would be able to make decisions based on experience, or B) once someone became a Vessel, the Rule was inextricably tied to their soul, so it would be drawn to them specifically if they were available when the ability next transferred. There may still be some truth to these ideas, but with the understanding that the previous Vessels have at least some say in the line of succession, it seems likely that upon reset, the first user gets it back and then deliberately passes it on to their chosen successor upon their death because they know it'll eventually lead where they want it to

This in turn further suggests that memories are carried in the soul. We've seen this multiple times, with Julia remembering Juiz's life and Sean/others choosing to be born earlier/later, but for the Vessels to consistently choose the same successors, it gives the impression that once they revert to being souls they remember everything and know what they need to do next. I wonder if they communicate with each other at all to coordinate their reincarnations and selections?

If nothing else, we can conclude that Remember probably accesses the memories present within the soul rather than psychometrically reading their past or storing the memories itself like other Artifacts do. I wonder if Remember's reverse ability actually erases memories or just suppresses them? I'm inclined to the latter, since one could feasibly use the obverse in a later loop and get erased memories back as well, and Victor's memories weren't actually erased. That said, Victor may be a fringe case since losing his memories completely could be a form of ego death, and therefore would be negated by Undead. Victor's not a very good sample for understanding the mechanics of Remember, is the point

I won't guess how long it will be before Tozuka revisits this concept and explains it in more detail, since again, I'm always wrong in these things, but I'm very excited for when he does! I've seen a lot of people concerned about the implications that the Vessels are responsible for the tragedies, and I would like that misunderstanding cleared up ASAP

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[felice-jaganshi]

His Pet

Chapter 16 (Final chapter!)

(At least until the sequel)

(CW: Consensual cannibalism)

 

"I bet you could play Doom on vox's screen. Heh, that'd be a funny prank. Especially if he turns it off right away, you could say something like 'wow, you can't even run the most basic of code? How pathetic’." She smiled mischievously, they had gone out on another walk. Heading towards cannibal town to meet with Rosie. She had invited them, saying she had a very special treat for him, and to bring Zariah along.

“What an inspiring idea my dear, I'll have to put it into practice someday… but tell me, what is this ‘Doom’ you speak of, some television show?” He gave a little head tilt, and she laughed before going into a whole explanation on the video game and why the joke was funny. Though, he didn't truly seem that interested in what she was saying, just enjoying the energy with which it was being said.

 

They arrived at Rosie's and Susan immediately started giving Alastor trouble, wanting to pick a bit of a fight about some nonsense or another. 

Meanwhile, Zariah went with Rosie back into her back room to prepare Alastor's present that the two had schemed on.

 

Rosie eventually came back out and waved to Susan who immediately stopped giving Alastor shit when she did, walking away. Her distraction was done.

Alastor made his way into Rosie's parlor with a slight grumble, “Ornery old bitch needs to be stuffed in a box and thrown down the fucking river.” His smile never faltered. Rosie couldn't help but laugh at that.

“Oh Al, this time she was just being a distraction so you wouldn't ruin the surprise Zariah had planned for you. She needed my help with it, since I'm the only one who would agree to her crazy idea.”

 

This caught his attention, “Oh? What kind of crazy idea?” He looked around, “Where is she?”

The door to the back room opened and Zariah came out holding something large and oddly shaped, wrapped in heavy satin with a bow around the middle.

“Right here Al! Don't worry, I didn't go far. I just wanted to surprise you, and Rosie's the only one you'd leave me alone with outside the hotel.” She set down the present on the table.

He tilted his head, “Oh? And what kind of gift is this, my dear?” He looked it over before pulling at one end of the bow to unravel it. “And what is this present in exchange for? Your rescue from that moth, I assume?” 

“Sorta, there's a second present waiting back in my room too. But that's a ‘just because’ present.” He pulled back the cloth and his eyes went wide.

 

“ Darling… what am I looking at? ” He sounded… confused. Unsure if he should be angry or elated.

“My wings grew back! And I heard you and Rosie talk the other day how angel flesh was so much tastier than any sinner you ever had. So… I wanted to give my wings to you!” She sounded so cheerful and excited. “You like them right? I know it's not a ‘prime cut’ or whatever the word is. But it's part of me I can happily live without, and there's a good chance they'll grow back again! I just had to promise Rosie if they do grow back again, she gets one of them next time too.”

 

Alastor ran a hand through the feathers, looking troubled by this before turning to look at the two women he loved most in all of hell. “I… you mutilated yourself for me? I'd never have asked this of you.”

Zariah's smile softened, “I know… but I wanted to do this for you. Give you a special part of myself.” 

 

Rosie sighed at this, “it's a truly romantic gesture, Alastor. And don't worry, it was completely her idea, and I was able to remove them without any further damage done. I was extra careful with our little angel.” She pet Zariah's head and she purred at the touch, tails swishing around happily.

“Rosie… I… I'm conflicted. I'm certainly excited about such a wonderful gift… but I also feel betrayed that you'd hurt her, even with her permission, behind my back.” 

 

“Oh Alastor… I'm sorry, I didn't think about it like that. But, it's her body, and her choice. Isn't it?”

“Perhaps, but she gave me possession of her soul in exchange for being her protector and caretaker. I have an obligation to protect her even from her own foolishness.” He held out a hand to Zariah, and she gave Rosie a tight hug before going to take his hand. He pulled her to his chest and kissed the top of her head.

 

“Al, if she didn't help, I still would have tried to do it on my own. Don't be cross with her.” She nuzzled into his chest, hoping acting cute would spare Rosie any wrath from him. He placed a hand on the back of her neck in a loose grip.

“Love, you'd really disobey me like that?”

“If it was for your benefit, absolutely. You have no clue the depth of my devotion to you.” She looked up at him with a determined light in her eyes. It almost scared him a little. He sighed in defeat.

 

“Well, I suppose we better cook these wings up while they're still fresh. Rosie, will you share these with me? That way what Zariah owes you is paid and she won't have to cut any more off.”

 

“Well, I certainly won't say no to that. How would you like them cooked up?” She smiled, glad he had calmed down. She'd hate to have to fight him, he was like a brother to her.

“ Barbecue. ” He said confidently, he knew they'd taste wonderful barbecued. 

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_--_

And that's the end for now! The sequel is almost done with its first draft as well. It will be darker and have more drama than this one did though. So get hype! Love you all!

[gardengobbo]

April 30th 2024

Not much of a garden update here, but I assure you there has actually been some progress. So here's a photo of one of my dove frens I took one the 28th.

Keep readin' if you wanna hear me blab on about the video posts and ADHD. You've been warned, it's long 😂

So I've been enjoying doing the video-style posts instead of typing 90 paragraphs of nonsense, but I don't want to keep recording with my phone since the videos take up a bunch of space. (As well as me having to take off my dirt-coated gardening gloves every time I want to record.) I could just delete the clips after editing into one video, or just all of them after uploading, but I prefer having things backed up instead of just uploaded online.

I know I could back them up to my computer too, but part of the reason I enjoy the quick clips of nonsense slapped together with minimal editing is because it's simple and I can do it all on my phone. Either plugging it into my computer or even uploading them to Google Drive on my phone then downloading them onto the computer adds extra steps.

Extra steps that seem inconsequential, but something I know about myself is I'm very all or nothing. It's very hard for me to only do half of a thing. In this example that'd be editing the videos together and then hitting the block that I've finished that part and uploaded, but now I need to plug in my phone to the computer to transfer the video files. Or if I back them up to drive, it only has so much space before it yells at me to upgrade lol

Drive seems like the most logical option though as it would give me the freedom to at least have more time before I have to download the backups, however I know for a fact that when that point comes I won't record any more videos even if I want to because I need the space to back them up, but I dont want to sit down on the computer to download the Drive backups because I'm doing other things and will get distracted if I do.

This is a struggle for me in a lot of aspects, can't do Z because I need to do X but I can't do X until I do Y, and I need to finish ABC before I can do Y, but all I really want to finish is Z. And worse is that most times to do Z, there isn't any need for the other stuff. It's just me wanting Z done in a certain way that to do it that certain way, it requires all those other steps. This happens in the garden a lot too, so this rant is kinda still relevant 😅

Thankfully all of that hasn't caused an issue with me just not doing garden things because I want to record it, because trust me when I say that's happened a lot in the past too. (That being me wanting to make a little video of something but not being able to figure out how I want to set up the cameras so I don't do the craft or whatever because I want to record it so it just never happens but sticks in my brain as the thing I want to do but can't till I figure the recording process out.) Depression is the reason why I haven't been gardening 🤣

All this to say I have like, 2 days worth of clips I want to edit into a post to show the progress so far. One day is clips on my phone, the other I recorded with a little action camera and I'm not sure how that's turned out yet since that requires me to upload to the computer to see better. (See computer related snag above as to why thats not done!) Today I might go even further and just bring out my small digital camera I got years ago to do vlogs with, that I never vlogged with.

Which leads me to my last point, and Ima make a poll for thoughts on the idea after this post cause I know this is a lot to read and most folks won't care, and that's fine! I think maybe I will use that camera for vlogging finally. I'd have to learn how to use an actual video editing software, and it'd have to be lightweight cause my once-top-of-the-line-parts-now-10-years-outofdate computer struggles hard to play Helldivers 2 right now, I can't imagine trying to run something like Premier Pro. But to be honest all I want to do is add auto-captions like Ive already done previously so I'm sure I can fine some free or cheap program to do so. I'm just not sure if like, amateur gardening vlog style videos where I mutter to myself as I pour dirt is really a genre of content lmfao. And if it is, it's probs better off on here or tiktok but I'm going insane trying to not film landscape everytime I go to record something.

So like, I dunno, I guess youtube? I can probs figure out how to sorta make it acceptable for portrait orientation viewing after the fact? I have no idea but if there's a gap in video updates for today, that's why 🤣

Alright that's all for now. I gotta get up, get sunscreen'd, and get out there! As long as it's not raining still... it was last night 😅

[nitrosodiumfmp]

Further Gripage

I don't care that it's not in the dictionary, gripage is a word now.

The current map is good, but not perfect. There are things I need to do before the basic parts of the game are all done. Firstly: weaponry. I have a horrible feeling I'll have to make the weapon component by hand - one of the teachers deleted the "hand" components from my game on my request, but now I think that was a bad idea. You can pick up the gun, but it snaps to your side and can't shoot. This is definitely a problem stemming from the non-existent hands - the static mesh isn't referenced and the blueprint class is marked with the nebulous red Error icon.

Second thing: Enemies. I want the same basic AI that Overdeath had, and while I'm trying to painstakingly copy it over from low-quality screenshots, I think I'll need to consult an Unreal video or maybe ask one of the teachers. The starter map is supposed to showcase all the elements of Sinister, and enemies just aren't on there right now.

Third thing: Notes. Once more bringing the focus back to Overdeath, I had attempted to make a note at the end of development. The idea was, I would teach myself basic mechanics and design so I could use it for the third project - I didn't know that it would be an arcade game at that time; I had envisioned a slow-burn psychological horror game set in a cliffside monastery. That didn't happen, but the note tech and some very rudimentary key-and-locked-door systems remain in the Overdeath game. Right now the single note in the game prints a string - I want it to display a widget instead, probably a Bool system, with a lot of bespoke pieces. This means I'll have to keep the notes brief. If I have something the player needs to read, I'll just scrawl it on a wall where a note would usually be. I could even do audio logs.

Fourth: The elevator still kind of sucks. Because there's no external button to call it (i.e. you can only use it from inside), when you fall off the balcony in the map, you're stuck, with the elevator at the top where it won't come down. There's one way I can think of that might solve it, and I did attempt it before. Basically, you'd have an ElevatorButton actor, just a basic pedestal button like you might see in Portal. When you trigger the PlayerActivate on it, it'll cast to the Elevator and either move it up or down, based on a pre-existing Bool, "OnGroundFloor" or something similar. 0 when it's on ground level, 1 when it reaches the top. And there's a Control bool as well to prevent button spamming, since that'd fudge the system. Think of it like a temporary system lock; it deactivates when the elevator is in motion, reactivates when you're at a still point, and checks itself whenever you press the button.

So how do I solve these? I'll certainly have a lot of work to do on Friday - notes is my lowest priority, since it's just busy-work that I know how to do but don't want to unless I have to. Elevators would be nice, and I can probably figure it out on my own - it seems like a Sweat Pursuit type problem where the key is a single function block that I haven't heard of, and once I put it in, everything'll click. Fixing the static mesh with the gun now is gonna make things later easier, i.e. when I implement combat. That's far down the line, though. Enemies, however, is not. At the very least having a cylinder that rolls about and chases you would be nice, and I can probably check old documents and copy that over. This might prove easier than it looks.

Next week and this weekend, I would also like to do some research on my enemy ideas, and some old animations I found.

[flesheatingstar]

Why Not Me?

This is a oc insert

Summary: The Wayne family is busy so often that they routinely forget about their sibling. They're out all night or too busy during the morning for their sibling to be acknowledged. Salim is simply done with trying, so they look to other alternatives for attention and care and find it as a therapist for a certain asylum. But what happens when the family notices their absence?

Pt 2

With baited breath, Salim waited in the damp and stone wall hallway. Their foot tapped nervously before being called into the office. They pulled up a seat in front of the scrawny brunette man sitting across from them, "Ah, you're Salim Wayne-Blackwood. Thank you for coming in. Please tell me about yourself." He asked.

"Thank you for giving me this chance. I grew up in gotham, was adopted by Bruce Wayne after an accident when i was young like his other kids, I grew up trying to figure out what I wanted to do only really knowing I wanted to help people. Eventually, when I looked into psychology, specifically of the crimally insane I realized I wanted to help rehabilitate or try to help them somehow. At 15, I immediately started looking into it further and researching it and going to college for it. I was top of my class, I interned, and my job shadowed a lot, and I even got a doctoral degree and masters degree after graduating." Salim finished, the interviewer looked at them, seemingly becoming more curious.

"Hm, what would you say is your greatest weakness and strengthes?" He asked. "Getting attached to people is hard for me, but I also pry a bit too much into things that don't always involve me. I'm heavily goal driven, and I'm big on being accurate with what I'm working on." They answered, "Hm, I guess that'd be expected. If you don't mind me asking, could you tell me more about the accident? Or what made you eligible to be adopted?" The questions surprised Salim and made them slightly uncomfortable, but they couldn't exactly walk out or say anything against it.

Taking a deeper breath in, they answered as best as they could. "My father died when I was 8. he was deep in debt and wanted to try anything to pay it off, but because of the people who he was indebted to, there was no way he'd live to pay them off. The only thing I really remember after it was Bruce Wayne finding me and bringing me to the police before adopting me when he learned the situation." They finished closing their arms around themselves and gripping their sleeves, trying to ground themselves somehow.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry for your loss. What best motivates you? " The interviewer asked, narrowing his eyes, "I'm driven by the thought of slowing down crime by helping people so if they get out, crime will be a last resort. I'm also driven by being able to maybe understand them to a point." The man smiled. "It's refreshing to hear someone say something that isn't hate, spite, or revenge. Those hires only last so long after all."

Silence fell for a second as the man stood up."Would you be available well days and be ok with being on call for weekends?" Salim nodded quickly at the question, standing up as the interviewer as he led them out of the building. "Good to know. Again, thank you for coming in. I think it'll be nice for the inmates to have someone they can latch into again. We'll call you back to let you know if you do or don't get the position, and even though it's not for sure, I will say you will be high on the list. " The man shakes Salims hand, with Salim thanking him for the chance, before they leave to their car.

When they got in their car, they sat in silence for a second before it hit them completely. "Omg, I trauma dumped, holy sht I'm not gonna get the job they don't want some idiot who pours everything out! 'High on the list' YEAH HIGH ON THE LIST OF PEOPLE WHO WON'T BE GETTING THE JOB! Was I too extra? They didn't even say when they'll call me." Their thoughts ran wild as they drove to the manor. "Hey Alexa, call Alfred, please." They say looking at their phone.

"Hello Master Salim. How'd the interview go?" He asked. "I don't know, it's actually why I called you or part of the reason I did. Um, what does it mean to 'be high on the list' when talking about a job position?" Afred laughed slightly, "Sorry for laughing, I'm just surprised hearing someone so smart not realize something so obvious. It means you're highly likely to get the job." He explained. "Are you sure? He didn't say when he'd call me back?" Salim heard a small huff, "I'm sure they just forgot. You probably were so impressive that it caught the person off guard." Alfred reassured, "Really?" They asked, getting a hum back from alfred.

A ring makes them look over. They parked in the driveway and grabbed their phone to see who it was. "OH MY GOD, THEY'RE CALLING ME I GOT TO. GO ALFRED THANK YOU!" They quickly explained getting a soft "Bye master salim" in response, "Hello, is this Salim Wayne-Blackwood? " The voice wasn't the same as the interviewer, "Yes it is." Salim responded. "Well, looking over everything and seeing other people, it's decided that you'd be the best fit for the job. Can you start Monday next week?" The person asked, Salim was still in shock hearing they got the position. "Mr. Wayne-Blackwood?" - "Sorry! Yeah, I can start next week. Thank you so much, I'm grateful for this opportunity." They smiled. "Of course, have a good day." The person hung up before Salim could say the same.

Running into the house, they immediately went to find Alfred. Eventually, heading down to the batcave just in case. "Alfred, I got the -" Salim stopped immediately after seeing Dick and Alfred. Dick was bruised and scratched up, well alfred tries to help. "It's like 4 in the afternoon. What the hell happened Dick?!" They asked, going to rush over. "SALIM!" He snapped, making both alfred and Salim flinch. "God, can you just stop hovering and leave?" He asked annoyance and pain clear in his tone. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." Salim responded storming out of the cave.

"Fcking dick, always ruining everything." They mumbled walking to their room, "Watch it." Jason sneered after bumping into Salim. Biting their tongue to keep silent as they sped up to their room. Closing the door, they flopped onto their bed, trying to keep calm. It'd been a stressful few months, and finally, after working so hard and getting what they want, no one cared. Grabbing their phones, they made their decision. They had one person who could get them out.

"Hey Mattie, I think it's time I get out." The simple sentence was all Mattie needed. "Hey, I'll come get you, ok? Are you ok?" Salim hums tiredly "yeah I'm ok, just sick of this place." The jingle of keys could be heard through the phone. "Ok, I'll be there soon. Don't do anything stupid, ok?" After a small hum, Salim and Mattie said goodbye, leaving Salim in an all to quiet and clean room.

As they packed the things they'd need, they noticed just how much they'd truly done, how much they put themselves through. And now here they were packing up in a room that was all too neat. They felt as their body shook an indescribable feeling filling them to the brim, like so many times before, but this was too much to push down. Everything was too much.

They weren't thinking, their body moved seemingly on its own as it grabbed the sides of the bookshelf full of trophies and let it fall, breaking each trophy, the feeling lessened, so they contuined Shelves they put up and filled were ripped from the wall, the painting they made where ripped, everything that they made was ruined. The mirror they'd repaired and made a frame for was laying on the floor as Salim gasped, a sob racking through their body as they fell to their knees, hugging themself as tight as they could.

The tapping at the window caught their attention quickly, getting up, and they looked down from the window where Mattie stood quickly they opened the window bag over their shoulder and jumped. It was then that they'd decided that having a room on the second floor might've been a bad idea. With a harsh thud, they landed on the grassy ground, an arm wrapped around them. "You're much braver than me." Mattie laughed to himself, "Shit, you're bleeding. Uh, I have a first aid kit in my car c'mon." He said leading them both to the car.

Mattie cleaned and wrapped up their hand in silence, continuously looking at their wet bloodshot eyes. "I trashed the room." They muttered just audible enough for Mattie to hear. He gave them a concerned glance. "It's ok, we can figure that out later. Do you want food?" Salim shook their head no, "Ok, we can just head home then." The wording wasn't something that surprised them. They'd hadn't called Wayne manner home since they were 15 and had hope thinking it'd be home.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Bruce had entered the room beside his after hearing all the crashing become silent. He'd been frustrated and had to finish paperwork, meaning the random tantrum from his kids' room wasn't exactly music to his ears. The room, however messy, was completely still. No one was in, when he took a step an audible crunch was heard under his foot.

It was a broken trophy. The base had been wood base with a name carved into the bottom, and the glass acrobat was scattered to the point of almost being unrecognizable. Looking at the base, he realized it was salims, but what confused him was, he never knew they did acrobatics.

He continued looking at the trophies. Every other one was for a Hobbie or activity that Bruce had no clue they even thought about. Why would they ever break the rewards they earned? Why was he never invited to any of the ceremonies or events that they got the awards from? Why did they get such high-level awards well still being a senior in high school? Most importantly, what happened to his kid, and where were they?

[surviveds]

jade tugs harshly at his own hair, as if the action will somehow shake loose a thought, help him make sense of something. he swears he can still feel and smell the blood that'd drenched him earlier, thick and viscous as it drips down his nose, and he has the sudden urge to scream again building in his throat: a desire he quells by gulping down the last of the godawful moonshine he'd snagged from that sorry excuse of a bar. (no goddamn ghosts in it, though, so maybe it's not so bad, he thinks bitterly.) the burn brings tears to his eyes, a welcome distraction, and through the bleariness, he stares at the mess of black ink on the page, only halfheartedly committed to this conversation, despite initiating it.

"cagey isn't the word i'd use." there's a dozen others that come to mind, none even remotely kind, but jade doesn't elaborate further, miraculously, attention caught by something in jessica's tone that actually prompts him to look up, to really see her. squinting, jade closes his notebook, folds his arms across his chest as he says, "oh, and you do?" the challenge is heavy, and he seems to actually be waiting for a beat before cutting through the silence again, ever enamored with the sound of his own voice, fueled by the belief he really is the smartest person in the room - or town, in this case. "god, it's almost sad - no, actually, it's just pathetic, how they've... built something here." his rage at it is burning, a fire even brighter than the moonshine's aftertaste, though that, he almost misses, as he studies the now-depleted bottle dejectedly.

"i couldn't care less what you're being," he says. carelessly, jade turns the bottle on its side, rolls it across the table, allowing it to fall off the far edge, and feeling almost disappointed that it lands with only a thud and not the satisfying crack of breaking glass. "but if you have to ask that, maybe you're not as smart as i thought."

@surviveds said, "you’re not like the others. but you know that, don’t you?"

❝  what, cagey? ❞ she scoffs, rubbing her hand at her forehead, still exhausted, not even from the place she's in now but what she was running from. this was not the home she expected to return to, but then again - did she even have a home anymore? not one that she felt like she could find any peace in, nor was it something she even knew how to long for anymore. until now, at least, because this was not a place to make a home, no matter how comfortable people were here. ❝  everyone's got a lot to say, but you notice they've got no real answers? ❞ maybe she is like them, in some sense, because that's how she always approaches things, keeping her cards too close.

❝  i don't know about that. the community they've got here . . . i can't say it's for me. ❞ all of them coming together amidst a tragedy, if that's what they call this, seems like the very opposite of how jessica's always found herself in her darkest moments before. she'd rather be on her own, like that would be more productive, even if she can't possibly have all the answers for once. ❝  you think i'm being too obvious? come on. do you really trust these people? ❞

[leggerefiore]

Ingo being a workaholic enough to create distance in a relationship sure makes it easy to use him like you've been doing as I noticed it's always Ingo and his job and Emmet kind of slides his way in one way or another so I'm curious as this isn't a request for anything but a simple question looking for a simple answer if it was reversed what'd be Emmets hangup that'd cause distance? I would assume with no Ingo he himself would become something of a workaholic but he prioritizes going home too much especially with someone waiting for him I noticed so there's that but also if the positions were reversed how would Ingo win someone over like say the Coraline AU but swapped?

See anon, Emmet is also a workaholic! Especially with Ingo not present. Though, you're also correct that he would make sure his partner knew they were loved and cared for, even if he was late getting home. He is a busy Subway Boss, but he's just more active than Ingo with his choices. Emmet actively chooses to leave at a decent hour to get home to his lover, unless absolutely unable to, but Ingo passively accepts to pile of paperwork he needs to do. He want to leave at a decent time and return to his partner, yet feels like it's a misdeed to abandon his incomplete work. With Ingo gone, Emmet has more work to do, so he would find himself busier and with more absolutely unable to leave situations. This would begin to cause a rift in the relationship, but nothing make or break.

What really would start to wear the relationship thin might be his attitude. He can be a bit too childish at times alongside overly harsh with his words. The same active nature that brings him home allows the first thing he thinks to escape his mouth.

But going back to the Coraline AU (and that is a great idea anon I might try to write the reverse sometime), you're both living in small, rural Anville town away from the hustle and bustle of Nimbasa. Emmet would find it easier to just stay within the city some nights, so unless you're begging him return him, you'll find yourself lonely. Even more so during busier seasons when he might spend a week straight away from you. His stress might make his words harsh and monotone opposed to the kind and soft you would be used to. It begins to wear you down. In which Ingo takes advantage.

He's much better with words than his brother, so you'll find long, fulfilling conversations with the over lover with ebony buttons for eyes. The older twin will treat you like you are made of gold and treat you more like a husband of many years rather than a young boyfriend (as Emmet does). You'll be entranced by his flowery praises and romantic poems. He'll cook for you and create an entire faux world outside to help further sell the illusion. It's hard to resist the perfect life he offers you. Loving kisses are pressed onto your knuckle as he trails them up your arm. Ingo knows you're bound tightly within this silken web. You'll become his lovely spouse in little time and Emmet will be left alone this time.

Of course, Emmet finds out. The activeness in his character would lead to him just locking the door and hiding away the key. Perhaps even using his waning magic to make sure Ingo is unable to reobtain it. Ingo is patient, unlike Emmet, he'll wait until his younger brother is gone again. Then, you're invited back his parlour where the buttons are offered alongside a ring. If you say yes, the ring is softly slipped onto your finger before the golden needle is removed from the gift box. If you say no, he'll become cold and unfeeling, before throwing you in the mirror room to ruminate on your choice.

Emmet will know something is wrong and come to save you from his brother's entrapment. Though, they may just meet in the middle about handling you.

[ifievertoldyou]

"Who are you, Quackity?"

Wilbur whispered, staring into Q's eyes as though he was searching for something– or someone.

I'm somebody who escaped from a shipwreck but is still going to drown because he can't bring himself to take his fucking armor off, even as he realizes that he's sinking further and further from where he should be, down until he can't breathe anymore and his vision's going black, and everything is so, so heavy, but he just can't do it, Q thought.

I'm a pathetic little house cat that tries to act like the King of the Jungle, as though that'd make him any less in over his head.

I'm a pale imitation of Quackity, too cruel to be human, yet too human to actually be cruel.

I'm nothing now. Just an empty shell where there's supposed to be a person. A sad combination of traits that just cancel each other out and do absolutely fucking nothing for anybody. Until not even I know what I'm supposed to be anymore.

I'm hurting and I think I've forgotten what it's like to not be constantly pushing away the pain and memories of the past.

I'm a haunted house that's full of ghosts and demons and so, so much torment, that people are either terrified of even stepping foot inside of it, or else they see it as some sort of gimmicky joke that they can laugh at.

And I'm both at the same time. Both painfully, bone chillingly real and yet somehow still superficial. A sick juxtaposition of all that is real and fake, coagulating into a single fucking entity of confusion that isn't sure if the blood he sees spattering the floorboards is real or fake anymore. Or if it's even his…

I'm burning up inside and yet I've never felt as cold as I do now.

I'm pushing people away whether I mean to or not, and I see people being scared of me and I hate it because that's not who I am, but I also love it because that means I'm safe. That means that they won't ever think of crossing me. That I won't get hurt again. And I hate that I feel that way. I hate it…

I'm everything that I was afraid of when I got here. Nothing like how I was before. I'm… I'm…

"I'm stronger." was the reply Q managed to force out, times more confident than he actually felt. Those two words felt like fireants that were biting his tongue. He wasn't stronger, not at all. If anything, he was the exact opposite. But Wilbur didn't need to know that. Q refused to let anybody gain an advantage over him ever again. And so, he just let the lie sit in the air, weighing uncomfortably on his chest, as Wilbur looked at him with an unreadable expression on his face. The inscrutablity made Q more nervous than he wanted to admit. But he didn't let it show. Or couldn't.

He wasn't fucking sure anymore.

[rhysismydaddy]

Prisoner's Game Pt. 1 (Rowaelin)

Synopsis: Aelin Galathynius never thought of herself as a vengeful woman. Until her boyfriend not only testifies, but leads a case against her that lands her in prison for the rest of her life. Post I-Love-You's. He didn't believe her, and she's about to show him that not only is she innocent, he made the worst mistake of his life betting against her. To a woman with nothing but time, life's just a game, after all.

The cinderblock wall dug into her back uncomfortably as she reclined against it, the air in the room was stale, and she hadn't showered in two days. By any measurement, Aelin Galathynius was far from her best.

And yet she somehow managed to look perfectly at ease--happy even--as she lounged in her cell, toying with the ends of her too-long hair.

It was a ruse, of course, just a little trick to piss off the man currently stomping into her space. By the flare of Rowan Whitehorn's eyes, it worked.

"Hello, Rowan," she greeted pleasantly, giving him a little smile and acting like it wasn't taking everything in her not to use the makeshift knife under her pillow to gut him like the spineless coward he was.

She could tell, even across her 8x12 cell, that he was gritting his teeth and fighting a similar action.

The heel of his expensive Italian loafers clicked as he walked across the space to the small table and took a seat at the steel chair in front of it. He tried to push it out further, but stopped when he realized it was bolted to the floor.

"Aelin," he said back, none of the so-obvious anger he was feeling present in his voice. "Been a long time."

Eight years, six months, three weeks, two days, and thirteen hours.

Not that she was counting or anything.

She nodded her agreement, reclining further on the bed and crossing her legs as if she was in the finest dress she owned, not a faded orange jumpsuit.

"What brings you to my side of town, Rowan? Here to finally switch sides and represent me?"

Dressed in a two-thousand dollar suit and tie, hair perfectly gelled back, he looked like he was successful a lawyer meeting with a wealthy client, but they both knew the last thing he'd ever do was work for her.

"You know why I'm here."

She did indeed, but she still said, "I must be exceptionally smart to know why you've come all the way here-"

"Cut the shit," he snapped, finally losing a bit of his cool. He regained it quickly, though, and continued, "I want to know how you did it."

She frowned at her split ends. "Did what?"

Rowan waited until she looked at him to respond. "You know what."

Sighing so deeply it should've rattled the walls, she said, "I can't believe I've spent the last eight years thinking you underestimated my intelligence. You clearly think I'm some sort of oracle genius."

Rowan mimicked her sigh, and she bit her lip to stifle a laugh.

Probably trying to stall, he spent a moment looking at her cell, at the completely bare walls and lack of photographs. All she had was the tally marks drawn in pencil on one wall and a dusty chess set sitting on the table.

When he'd taken inventory of those two things, he sat and just looked at her.

It was clear she wouldn't admit to knowing exactly why he sat in front of her, and he was simply putting off being the one to fold.

Predictable, proud little man.

Eventually, he took his loss and said, "I want to know how you managed to rob me from inside the most secure prison in Rifthold."

She smiled, a full, undulated smile she hadn't used in a long time.

She'd been planning this moment since the day the bars had locked behind her, and it felt damn good to finally see it come to fruition.

According to what she'd heard, definitely not what she knew from personal experience, the private vault in Rowan's apartment had been broken into. Apparently, only one thing was missing: an antique dagger that had been handed down in the family and was now worth over a million bucks.

"Why do you think it was me?" she asked, still smiling.

He gritted his teeth some more, and she internally snickered at the idea he'd have permanent tooth damage because of her. Something else to remember her by.

Green eyes spitting flames at her, he growled, "You left a goddamn business card."

Aelin forced her eyes up to the empty bed above her head, trying her hardest not to laugh. "Maybe I'm being framed?"

"Your fingerprints were on it."

She did laugh then, then laughed some more when his eyes narrowed. He looked like he was about to strangle her. "Rowan, in case you haven't noticed, I'm incarcerated."

She gestured around them to her cell to prove her point.

The bastard just smiled.

Of course he knows that, she thought bitterly, forcing her hand back to her lap and away from where it'd started to creep toward the pillow.

"So how would I rob you?" she asked, getting her mind back on track.

"That's what you're going to tell me," he demanded angrily. "I want to know how you got out of here, got all the way across Rifthold, broke into my apartment, and stole from me without any surveillance camera picking it up."

Aelin ran a hand through her hair, fluffing it just right. When she caught sight of the impatience on his face, she fluffed it some more and readjusted the thin jacket on her shoulders.

It was always too damn cold in this place. She hadn't been warm in almost nine years.

Because of him.

Just for that, she fluffed her hair some more.

Then she said simply, "I didn't."

"Stop lying!" he shouted at her, eyes flashing.

She wasn't, but that was besides the point.

"Fine." She rolled her eyes like he'd won. "I got my cousin to-"

"Aedion spent the night in Wendlyn. His travel is verified, and there are at least a hundred eye witnesses that witnessed him singing karaoke all night. Stop. Fucking. Lying."

Once again, she wasn't lying.

Aedion sure as hell hadn't been in Wendlyn last night. She'd just wanted to make sure his alibi was air-tight as planned.

Sighing again, she asked, "Rowan, even if I did do it, why the hell would I tell you about it?"

His jaw worked for a moment, and she could tell whatever he was about to say was difficult for him. "I'll get time off your sentence if you tell me what you've done with it."

She tried not to laugh, but she couldn't help it.

It burst out of her, full and uncontrollable, and she flopped over on the dirty mattress and howled for a good few minutes.

He glared at her, looking for all the world like he was experiencing a portion of the rage she was made of, but regardless of the threat in his eyes, she took her time composing herself.

"I'm serving ten consecutive life sentences, you idiot."

One for each and every one of her "victims."

"I'll make it nine," he offered generously.

"Even if I was a cat, that'd still leave me dying in a prison cell. Offer me something else."

He just glared at her, unwilling to give her anything she could actually use or want. Just like she'd expected.

"That's what I thought. So no, Rowan Whitehorn, I'm not accepting your little deal. You can think I robbed you all you want; hell, you can even know, in your famous gut, that I did it." She tilted her head, a cruel smile filling her lips. "But it isn't about what you believe, it's about what you can prove. Isn't that right?"

His eyes shuttered at the words, and just like that, they were sucked into the memory of all those years ago.

~Eight years ago~

~Rowan~

Rowan rolled over, edging away from the woman next to him carefully as to not wake her.

Her hair was spread out on his chest, her soft hand was on his stomach, and her leg was draped over his. By all accounts, she was all over him.

And it felt so fucking good.

He'd never met anyone like Aelin before. Anyone so full of life, so hilariously open.

It was like she was constantly on fire, flitting from one place to the next with endless energy and jabs about him being too old and slow.

"What are you going?" she murmured, nails digging in slightly to keep him where he was.

"To get some water. Go back to sleep."

He leaned down and kissed her brow, and she sighed happily and rolled over. Like a total cliché, he watched her sleep for a moment, trying to get his feelings under control.

They'd been seeing each other for less than a year, but he couldn't imagine his life without her. He was in love with her, and if the way she acted and smiled around him was any indication, she loved him, too.

He ran a thumb over her cheekbone, smiling when she tilted her face into his touch.

He was whipped, and he didn't even care.

Rowan shook his head at himself, pulled on a pair of boxers, padded to the kitchen, and held a glass under the faucet.

Then frowned as it sputtered.

He figured he'd at least make himself useful, knowing damn well she would never agree to call the plumber when she could "figure out how to fix it herself on Youtube."

So he knelt down in her kitchen and opened the cabinet door, trying to see what the problem with the pipe was.

Except he never got that far.

His eyes got stuck on the piece of paper sticking out under a false piece of wood covering the back panel.

Knowing it was wrong to pry but somehow unable to stop himself, he tugged the paper loose.

Then fell backwards to his ass, heart hammering and brain spinning as he read it over and over again.

The list of names wasn't long, but all ten of the people on it were highly distinguished members of society.

And they were all dead.

He wouldn't know that, since the death of the last person on the list wasn't even public record yet, but he was the attorney working with the police to find the killer.

Why did she have this list?

And what did the numbers next to the names mean?

One way or another, he knew he had to find out. He also knew he couldn't ask her. He was in too deep, too unbiased to know whether or not she was lying.

He didn't trust himself with her, so he'd have to go the traditional route.

He took a picture of the paper quickly, tucking it back where he'd found it. He snuck back in the room to get dressed, leaving her a note he had to go to work.

He thought he was going to be sick as he left her apartment, a feeling suspiciously similar to dread coiling in his stomach.

There was only one way she could know that last name, only one explanation that made sense.

But he had to know for sure. Had to know if he'd been an idiot this past year; an idiot who'd spent almost every night sleeping next to the killer he'd been searching for.

So he started investigating his girlfriend.

Six days later, he found the security deposit boxes and the murder weapons inside, still covered in dried blood that would be matched to the victims. All with Aelin's prints on them.

Two days after that, the woman he'd thought was the love of his life was arrested on ten counts of murder.

Despite the tears she shed, despite the promises she made to him, despite the love she claimed to have for him, Rowan told the cops everything.

Even though he couldn't imagine her killing anyone.

"It doesn't matter what I believe, it matters what I can prove."

That was the last thing he'd said to her, right as she was being dragged out of the court room and yelling at him to believe her.

The truth of the matter was that when it came down to it, he didn't trust her enough. The facts were against her, everyone on the jury had been against her, and in the end, Rowan was too.

~Present~

~Aelin~

Rowan shook his head, almost like he needed to clear it from the memory they'd obviously both been immersed in, and she smiled.

She hoped what happened all those years ago still haunted him, hoped he went to sleep at night thinking about her and the betrayal he'd served to her on a silver platter.

The first year of her sentence, she was so lost in emotion--in the rage and confusion and deep, deep hurt--that she couldn't bring herself to do anything.

He hadn't even bothered to ask her first. That's what had hurt the worst.

He'd seen that stupid, stupid list and had jumped to the first conclusion possible.

She knew it had looked bad, had looked like she was guilty, but she'd thought that if the worst happened, he'd at least ask her to explain before slapping the cuffs on her.

But he hadn't. She'd gone to prison, and his career had exploded into stardom from the success of the case.

"See, Rowan, when you refused to accept any other explanation other than the easy one, you made a mistake. Because I didn't kill those people."

He rolled his eyes. "Aelin-"

"And I'm not only going to prove it," she continued as if he hadn't spoken, "I'm going to ruin your precious little life while I do it. Just like you did mine."

She stood, put a hand on the steel table, and leaned over him.

"If you want it to stop, all you have to do is drop these bullshit murder charges and issue a public apology for locking me up in the first place."

He stood too, so close his loafers brushed the toe of her dusty, prison issued sneakers.

"That's never going to happen," he promised, voice uncompromising and angry.

Aelin smiled, having predicted his reaction down to the facial expression.

His pride, she'd decided, would be the first thing to go.

She reached around him to slide the pawn on the chess board forward, leaned in even further, and whispered, "Let the game begin, then."

~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2

@perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @a-bit-of-a-cactus @elriel4life @girl-who-reads-the-books @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @live-the-fangirl-life @ireallyshouldsleeprn @highqueenofelfhame @gracie-rosee @rowaelinismyotp @nahthanks @ghostlyrose2 @lovemollywho @inardour @tillyrubes10 @claralady @tswaney17 @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @thegoddessofyou @awesomelena555 @booksofthemoon @greerlunna @jlinez @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @aesthetics-11 @bamchickawowow @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Bronson

Bea: Hey Bronson: You don't have to Bea: I do, though Bea: it's important, your feelings are important, I acted otherwise, so you have to know that's not how it is, how I see things Bronson: Yours are too Bronson: I know you weren't seeing things clear last night Bronson: Call it forgotten Bea: Fuck that Bea: I know there's no forgetting Bea: and I know I've broken your trust and there's no getting it back Bea: but please, let me rebuild something Bea: I only did it because you're important to me Bronson: important in what way though Bronson: we aren't gonna be that Bea: No Bea: not like that, I don't want that Bea: I don't even want what I did, not really, I know that's just words when I did it but I swear to fucking God Bea: you're my best friend, my only friend, frankly Bea: it's a distancing thing...you know Bea: make you like him, put you in that box, that way I can see it as a good thing when I lose you Bea: but you don't deserve to be tarred with that brush, so I am, I'm really sorry Bronson: I've been around C & R long enough to see some fucked up boxes Bronson: and not walk off Bronson: I'm not doing that to you Bea: It probably won't be you Bea: that'd be me too Bea: I can't sustain shit Bea: I did the same to them, you know Bea: but they don't care so I didn't have to feel bad about it, got to be selfish Bronson: and they never bragged about it in my earshot...whoa Bronson: blessing or curse Bronson: I mean, if I was gonna, you'd get first dibs, but let's not make it weirder like Bea: Guess they give enough of a shit about you to not put that weird on you Bea: little did they know...ha Bronson: I mean they have made some offers over the years Bronson: But we were a lot younger Bronson: And the flashbacks only occur sometimes lol Bea: Didn't mean to add to the PTSD Bronson: You're off the christmas card list but you can still come for drinks Bronson: Nobody needs the newsletter and cringey family photo really Bea: Bron Bea: stop making it a joke if it ain't Bronson: I don't know how else to deal Bronson: You're not a club random Bea: You could tell me what you wanna tell them Bea: might help Bronson: I don't see it, you didn't have those motives Bea: Wanna violate my trust somehow Bea: hack me Bronson: Sure Bronson: Scope out that inbox Bea: go for it, serious Bea: #exposed Bronson: Am I gonna go further down the PTSD rabbit hole by catching sight of your nudes? Bronson: You can delete but they won't go Bea: I mean Bea: perhaps best to swerve my texts then Bea: uni emails Bea: ooh the scandal Bronson: Fix your grades while I'm there Bronson: 100 or nothing Bea: 🎯 Bea: Too good, you Bronson: Then, you'll owe me solidly, there's my angle Bronson: 👀 Bronson: Express your gratitude in a manner we won't have to run from and everything's normal again Bea: Anything you want Bea: WANT being the keyword there Bea: no funny business ever again Bronson: Swear on what you hold dearest Bronson: I can make those grades go down easy peasy Bea: Hmm, myself? Bronson: Those are my terms Bronson: 'Cause I can't stutter a no out don't mean a yes 😂 remember that going forward Bea: DON'T Bronson: too soon Bea: always too soon to be assaulting people Bronson: I'll stop smacking you with these punchlines in a minute like Bronson: Living with those two scallys too long Bronson: Not too soon to think about moving out Bea: You'd miss the mess you bless Bea: having your stuff knicked, constant undesirable and unknown visitors, all the noise and drama Bronson: I'll miss you if you do one after this botched reconciliation Bronson: You're my fave hot mess they ever brought back, Judes Bea: Don't make me cry Bea: this mascara is 22quid a pop Bronson: We'd be close to even Bronson: I'm worth at least that Bea: How rude of me to suggest otherwise Bea: but the foundation, the blush Bea: adding up Bronson: 💸 Bronson: Gotta get Ronaldo to teach you everything she knows about 🖐 discounts Bea: I think John Lewis would see her coming from a mile off, babe Bronson: There's a reason I have no fucking idea what one looks like inside Bea: like you're inside a upper middle class home but the bitch is also selling avon Bronson: 😂 Bronson: Take me there girl Bronson: I wanna see this Bea: Get you a pot of tea and a slice of something nice if you behave Bronson: I can be bought Bea: No judgment Bea: can't we all Bronson: Bring me coffee and all will be forgiven like Bronson: I've got the headache to end all 'em Bea: 😱 you? never! Bea: surprised you're not caning the red bulls already you animal Bronson: I would be if there was any left Bronson: hot commodity in this household Bea: 🤢 you are garbage people Bronson: You missed a trick not calling us monsters 😂 Bronson: It's early but you're a 🤓 Bea: I'm not gonna stoop to such levels Bea: any time of the day Bronson: Not gonna say your forgiveness depends on it Bea: Good Bea: not gonna change who I am, babe Bronson: Can't either Bea: Noted Bronson: But I'm not trying to change you, note that Bea: I know Bronson: Your man might Bronson: But I'm not going that deep into your inbox Bea: At least I don't have to tell him Bea: unless I drunkenly did Bea: bitch you better not have Bronson: I remember taking your phone at some point Bronson: If you're drunk enough to let me that's trouble Bea: 😬 Bea: Oh great Bronson: Get me his phone and it'll be like nothing ever happened Bea: idk if my skills of persuasion are gonna match his rage rn Bea: or pay for the first class postage Bronson: Quick trip to Ireland to buy my forgiveness and do some petty thievery could be a plan Bea: how is this for your forgiveness Bea: its entirely for me Bea: too pure Bronson: I need a- uh- Bronson: Guinness and Lucky Charms Bea: 😏 as cultured as I expected Bronson: Whoa there, I've seen that Leprechaun film with Rachel from Friends in it Bronson: Putting the cult in culture lol Bronson: 😂 Bea: Oh God Bea: 🤓 for all things trash Bronson: Blame the trash queen herself Bronson: A slut for shite horror Bea: I'll take great delight in telling her her Mum is just the same Bronson: Start saving for a headstone now I will Bea: she's gotta face facts some day Bronson: She'd sooner spite her face violently Bronson: We all know it Bea: 🤞 Bea: whaddya think I'm aiming for Bronson: Not to get Charlie about it but peas in a pod you two Bea: how dare you Bronson: face them faces, Judy baby Bea: Dick Bea: Now either way, I prove your point Bea: 😒 Bronson: You might be a smarty pants but I'm a smart arse like Bea: think of some witty retorts for Fraze then and go at it Bea: 'cos I can't face that yet Bronson: Time to build another fort and hide you in it Bea: gonna have to take up permanent residence at this fucking rate Bea: kick Tommy out of my old box room, that's not my graduate plan Bronson: Shack up with you like you're my actual missus Bronson: bedsits are very affordable Bronson: leave Fraze in the dust and forget the awkward convo looming Bea: Ha Bea: not exactly the plan either Bea: as much as I LOVE what you lads have done with the place 😽 Bronson: I'm not as house trained as poshos need theirs to be but not the pup they treat me like Bronson: We'd manage on our own, hun Bronson: love conquers all Bea: 💘 Bea: You're ridiculous Bronson: You need me Bronson: Too sensible by half Bea: 😏 Not gonna deny or accuse you of mixed messages BUT Bronson: Victim blaming isn't the way back into anyone's good books, love 😂 Bea: 🤷 Bea: don't want you to get the wrong idea Bronson: My ideas are fixed Bronson: No changing this mind Bea: that impenetrable firewall, I get it Bronson: Yeah Bea: Don't even be impressed by my nerd talk then, bitch Bronson: You can better Bronson: And we're trying to swerve pillow talk Bea: Look, I can't help being the best k Bronson: Back at you Bronson: Hard life being irresistible and unattainable like but I'm styling it out as effortless Bea: Ahh Bea: the one goal I can never reach Bronson: You're up there for me Bronson: If we stick together you've done it Bea: Safe to say I proved that I can't Bea: whore that I am Bronson: You're my whore Bronson: Stick around Bea: Who could say no? Bea: Such a charmer Bea: can't go in my inbox nevermind home anyway Bronson: Say the word and I'll clear it or pack a bag Bronson: Whichever Bea: Cheers, Bron Bea: what's the morning after without some drama to sort Bea: be at a loose end without it Bronson: Rather wipe your texts than clear up after the motley two Bronson: Disgusting Bea: Eurgh Bea: Don't even wanna think about them Bronson: How strong are the flashbacks? Bronson: I don't wanna think about that Bea: Why did you ask then 😂 Bronson: I'm a caring son of a bitch Bronson: And nosy Bea: Fair and fair Bea: wasn't that bad but not needing to repeat, is the answer Bea: but keep that on the DL Bea: not having them think I'M more repulsive than they are Bronson: I would but I feel like R's got that tattooed on her cause its such a legit review Bronson: Revolving door for her lack of repeat custom Bea: Well Bea: 'cept one Bronson: Let's not start Bronson: Enough of a headache without going there Bea: 2nd that Bronson: Onward to John Lewis Bronson: How much scandal can follow us around there realistically Bronson: We're well safe Bea: unlikely they're gonna want us to stock 'em up on overpriced knitwear Bronson: Trying to sell that on for anything but a loss would be an even worse headache Bronson: It's a no from me Bea: aw but you'd look adorable Bea: and sexless, more importantly Bronson: Would I though? Bronson: Or would I look quality in a bit of salmon pink Bronson: Trying to make me a target for the older crowd so I wouldn't turn you down next time, is it? Bea: 🤢🖕 Bea: nice bit of argyle Bea: golf chinos Bronson: 🏌 Bronson: a look Bea: if you wanna be some daddy's caddy Bronson: And risk taking Charlie's gig Bea: you know i know he knows he's past his prime Bronson: Yeah but I'm not trying to take his place in my mine Bea: Your loss booboo Bronson: Theirs Bronson: My daddy issues don't go that hard Bea: Worst luck Bronson: Like in the rankings I'm the worst horse to bet on if you want that action, dads Bronson: Pay my bills and get nothing back if that's your deal otherwise its a strike out Bea: save all this time I'm wasting on uni, eh Bronson: I haven't got a leg to stand on agreeing cause I'm still showing up myself Bronson: Half the time Bea: 👏 Bea: get you Bronson: someone's gotta show up to tell the rest to turn the computers off and on again Bronson: be a hero Bea: ⭐ for you Bronson: High five Bronson: We're killing it Bea: gotta slay in at least one area Bea: even if the rest is going to shit Bronson: I can't tell you not to feel bad about last night but I am Bea: I'm glad we're alright Bronson: You gotta get right by talking to freckles though Bronson: Rip off the plaster Bea: Yeah Bea: John Lewis first though, eh Bea: cheer myself with expensive crap when it all goes tits Bronson: Return it when the guilt kicks in Bronson: Easy fix for that fuck up Bea: If only everything had that 30-day return policy Bronson: We have to try on the most ridiculous shit they have Bronson: Guaranteed cheer up Bronson: Nothing's better than taking the piss outta me so I'm told Bea: 😂 sounds good Bea: though i can turn a look with anything Bronson: There she is Bronson: I'll meet you there but you have to walk in with me so I don't get trailed round the shop like the scum I come from Bea: wear your nicest hoodie please Bronson: Never dressing like a dosser when I'm meeting my lady Bea: so 😍 babe Bronson: Deffo

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie, Bronson, Charlie & Bea

Ronnie: I'm going on a run Ronnie: who wants? Bronson: My stash is depleted for some unknown reason 🤔 please stock me up Charlie: Ooh, new year new you babe? Charlie: couch to 5k is it aspirational af 😍 Bea: ✋ me Ronnie: fuck off i just dont need you pussies crying when you can't scav my gear Ronnie: what'll it be princess? the usual Charlie: c'mon, we've always shared everything, nothing is your own #carekidlife Bronson: Ha! That'll be why the lock on my door never sticks Bea: yep, not decided to get heavily into crack since we last spoke, just lots of amphetamines in any form you find 'em, tah, got exams coming up Ronnie: Shame Ronnie: reckon I'd like you more on the hard shit Charlie: just in case you missed the old place, man, giving you that nostalgia for when you had to padlock anything that wasn't bolted to the floor 😜 Bronson: Good times! 😀 Bea: Shame I'm not trying to be your type then, I guess Bea: soz darling, spoken for 💋 Charlie: Truly, missing that tenner a week pocket money, LUXURY! Ronnie: fucking am Ronnie: pissing jobcentre Bronson: I'll add it to your tab if you're desperate as Charlie: gotta learn to play their game, babe Charlie: not throw the board in a hissy Ronnie: 🖕 doss cunts Bea: catch me here fanning myself with sweet, sweet debt for future me to give a shit about Bronson: I'll wipe it out if you use some to keep me sweet Bea: sweet enough sugar 😘 Bea: but forreal, if you could manage that I would be your sugar mama for LIFE 🙏 Bronson: It's student loans not the feds Bronson: Easy peasy Bea: true, like all branches of the gov, pretty fucking useless Bea: but I'm an immigrant as far as they concerned so they treat me SO good 😋 Bronson: Same, but we can always stretch our hands out a little further Ronnie: To jack it and pat yourself on the back at the same time, yeah? Ronnie: calm it down Bronson: New year, new look too! Green looks ace with black 😄 Bea: Clearly do not have natural rhythm Ronnie, that's really not that difficult Bea: You're not a drummer, are you? 😕 Ronnie: get off my tits all of yous Ronnie: do you want gear or nah? Bronson: 🤐 Bea: I thought you'd already gone tbh Ronnie: not trying to score that weak gay shit Ronnie: hitting up a more reliable source like Charlie: rude, i'm RIGHT here Ronnie: are you even gay fitzy? always in my pussy lad Bronson: 😷 Bea: 🤢 Charlie: idk, ask ur man 💖 Ronnie: that'll be why me and Bron's dads did a bunk Bronson: Get yourself locked up at the same time just for the d, did you? Romantic Charlie: if the porn n the stereotypes n the rate of STIs are anything to go by...love is in the air always in cell block h Ronnie: princess'll have some handcuffs to get you on your way to that good loving Bea: 🚿🧠 anyone got any bleach? Bea: Charlie isn't worth the 💰 use cable ties, more authentic Bronson: 99 🚔 My fingers are on the button....Stop for the love of god Ronnie: Bron can help you out there Fitz Ronnie: 🤓 Bronson: Take that over a thicko label Charlie: Look, babe, know you wanna tie me down forever but do it yourself, don't involve the kid Charlie: 💍 diamond or no D, soz Ronnie: Bring a needle I'll snag a gem Bronson: Don't go there, C, I'm still riding the ear infection wave Bronson: It's been 84 years Ronnie: yeah cause you're a mong that can't turn an earring Bronson: In my defense I was a legit child Bea: nothing screams low-class like stabbing your friends for the bants Charlie: and i already scream homo loudly enough, don't need another reason to be hate crime-d, a thank you Bronson: If I didn't know you I'd guess bisexual Bronson: You can have that for free Charlie: what a smooth-talker! thanks babe 💖 Charlie: and if i didn't know you, i'd guess you were trying to see my dongle Bronson: Been there, repressed the trauma o that Ronnie: get a fucking room benders Charlie: why you being so homophobic when we all know how bad you want on princess? cliche stuck in the closet much Bea: shut up Ronnie: in your wet dreams Charles Ronnie: fuck off Charlie: oh the delicious tension Charlie: too much for either to bear Ronnie: I know where she's been Ronnie: fuck that Ronnie: like you wish you could gayboy Bronson: Wait, you fancy Fraze, Charlie? Ha Bea: Bron can you not encourage either of them Bea: thanks Bronson: Sorry my mind's just blown I thought he was out of his straight boy phase Charlie: What? Its a compliment for you, he's adorable, why else would you be with him? Ronnie: they're both annoying cunts Ronnie: match made Charlie: and never out of that phase, bro 😍 #daddyissues Bea: get his name out of your mouth bitch Ronnie: oi get your mouth off his dick Fitzgerald you heard her Ronnie: princess is raging like Ronnie: when your mans a slag and youre a prude Bea: As if Bea: Only one McKenna fucked up to go near you Bea: #singletear Charlie: Children, enough Ronnie: Bron do that final 9 she's going off 😂 Bronson: Walking away Bea: know you're hard up but as per we're all funding you getting your rocks off so run along and do it, no need to bore me trying to get your kicks Ronnie: know youre a snobby cunt but I don't work for you Bea: you don't work for anyone, not even JC gonna fund your lack of a life Ronnie: 🖕 mad cause I don't need reddies to fund myself Bea: yeah fuming Bea: if only I'd have thought of selling my body, wouldn't even NEED to be at cambs rn omg Ronnie: nailed it Bea: 😂 Bea: whodathunkit Bea: talking to the cure for cancer stuck inside a waster here Bea: and I'm the snob, okay Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: devvo like Bea: We can tell Bea: you don't need to shout about it, you've got the energy of a walking wasteland Ronnie: can't wait until you take some more speed and get more smug Bea: Right? Bea: Must sting, better only getting better Bea: why don't you get something to numb the pain- Ronnie: let you know how it feels when the lads come up Bronson: A rare compliment, you hitting it already? Ronnie: you'll have your share calm the fuck down Charlie: i don't want any, i'm busy Charlie: glad you all noted my silence, feel so listened to usually! hmpf Ronnie: so now you're a little bitch too Ronnie: fuck's sake Bronson: PARTY TIME, am I right? Really in the mood now thanks everyone Charlie: who's in who's pussy, dollface? Charlie: keep your shirt on, Bro 😂 got enough with the two angry feminists here Charlie: I've got previous plans, if you're really so hurt, you can save me some, no? Whaddya mean that'd hurt more? 😏 Bea: you're alright, I personally rather you weren't there, suits me 😘 Bronson: Shirts already off, too late 😜 Bea: Standard 👌 Charlie: you big man whore Charlie: when i'm not around to be predatory, too, tuttut Bronson: I'd wilt under your stare, you know you aren't missing out Charlie: our beautiful wallflower Charlie: I bagsy being a red rose, lil trashy but iconic Bronson: Thorn in our sides Bronson: accepted Bea: Nice one, babe Bea: i'll be an orchid, because i'm beautiful, ornamental and high-maintenance Bea: getting in there before any of you fucks can Charlie: though your silence IS noted, wonwon Charlie: don't be cross at me 😘 Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you're not the only one who's busy Ronnie: got a dick in my mouth too like Charlie: such a skilled multitasker Charlie: teach me your ways Bronson: in private please Bronson: not a lesson I want to learn Bea: we're not living in that teen movie Ronnie: On my way Bea: 👍 getting cash out, meet you there Bronson: Doors on the latch

Bea: Morning sweetness 😴 Bea: manage to recover your good vibe/night? Bronson: is it? 😪 Bronson: Until now it wasn't too bad Bronson: Do you get to say the same or is it pure suffering? Bea: Wow, when you hit bae up with that morning text and he's like day=ruined 😰 thought we was forever 😉 Bea: Decided to get off with someone around the same time I lost track of yous, so it was fucking awful, don't tell me you coulda told me that Bronson: It's only the comedown I wanna dump you're welcome to come and nap 💗 Bronson: Not to be that know it all Bea: Molly's such a cruel, cruel mistress, she wants you to miss her when she's gone 💁 Bea: Poor bubba, better than waking up next to that pushy bitch from last night though, Jesus, what was her damage? Bea: I reckon he'd actually gone out and had his drunken kebab and THEN PAID TO GET BACK IN Bea: No sir, not alright Bea: Why do I bother? Bronson: But I'm shamelessly smitten, only girl for besides present company like Bronson: Whatever it is she's not the first or last sufferer Bronson: Thanks for the bail out and sorry I wasn't there to do the same with kebab Kev Bea: N'awwh 💞 glad I hold more appeal than Tina, don't need to be going down that route Bea: It's an epidemic! Basic bitches who can't get a man willing, yeah take that out on innocent onlookers who ain't buying and talk about how your ex ain't shit for being a creepy letch Bea: We see you sweets 💅 Bea: Any time, even if you weren't there to take that donner breath bullet Bea: I'd never ask that of anyone, even Ronnie, though she'd brag about not being arsed, I'm sure 😂 Bronson: Next time I'll carry gum and throw it at whoever you deem worthy Bronson: Give me the nod Bronson: It was all over her socials like we had a good night together until I got there first Bronson: Rather take out Tina and all her mates Bea: as if you don't already Bea: if only little miss would-be-rapist knew that strong jawline was from gurning up a storm 😉 Bea: not so sexy now Bronson: there's nothing in my pockets I'm just pleased to see you Bronson: Seriously though, some of those selfies had to go for that unflattering reason alone taking into account none of her other antics Bronson: I looked a state Bea: 😂 not fallen for that one before but i'll make an exception for you boo Bea: catch me in my duvet cocoon, please don't look at me 'cos same Bea: I dread to think Bea: kept off my accounts for that reason and many more, some of us have reputations to uphold, skank Bronson: want me to check Bronson: clean up the carnage Bronson: Then brunch, your treat Bea: please Bea: roleplay my IT bitch and I'll be feeling my boss best in time for a liquid lunch Bea: will have to damage control my face first, enjoy watching me lovingly whilst I turn a -2 to an 11 Bronson: Never get bored of staring at you, you know that Bronson: Make my hair great again Bronson: Thanks Bea: when you shoulda been Trump's campaign manager 😕 Bea: sort the weave, clean up that twitter Bea: what a wonderful world it coulda been Bronson: Last night proves I can't stop him pussy grabbing Bronson: Need you for that one Bea: This pussy bites back 😼 Bea: its not your fault, girls like that, if you tell her to fuck off, and rightly so, it'd be made like YOU were being a prick to her Bea: gotta bullshit these hoes sometimes, tis the only way Bronson: Or playing hard to get...they fire that one at me loads Bronson: 😦 Bea: 🤢 gross Bea: got that one myself a fair few times, when I'm not being accused of being a prude by Ronaldo, hilariously Bea: People are the worst Bea: 'cept us Bronson: It's only because she likes you Bronson: Flattering, isn't it? Bronson: Being called broken is my fave Bronson: "Who hurt you?" You are right now, fuck off before you get a slap yourself to feel the pain of Bea: Wouldn't that just be the perfect solution in their simplistic little world? If only Bea: Save myself the feelings of disgust not brought on by kebab breath Bea: Though, if you think that that's love coming from Ron, then you do have an answer to their riddle right there, not real but the masses'll take one look at her and buy it 😜 Bronson: No arguments here Bronson: Your socials are sparkling now so that's real comfort to take Bea: 💖 yay Bea: the world never need know Bea: as long as I didn't drunk dial or text Fraze, this day is looking up, tah babes Bronson: Not to be a know it all again so quick Bronson: but I'm going to go ahead and guess the answer to that one Bea: BITCH DON'T KILL MY VIBE Bea: I'm sure I'd have angry ranting in my inbox if I had Bea: or a passive indirect on the socials, come across one perchance smartiepants? Bronson: Might've Bronson: I'll spare you Bea: Noooooooooooooooooooo Bea: Coulda had it all Bea: Really sours my Bloody Mary Bea: Fuck sake, now he's going to think I FUCKED kebab kev and enjoyed it meanwhile I sit here virginal and scrubbing my mouth out with soap Bea: How's this game fair again, please remind me Bronson: It isn't Bronson: But I can't tell you to stop playing Bronson: All yours Bea: you're meant to be a superwhizkid Bea: can't you think up a strategy so I win Bronson: Thinking cap is on Bronson: Because my hair still looks shit as much as Bea: I'll fix your barnet Bea: Between you and Charlie, honestly Bea: Never known boys like it 😂 Bea: blatant lie, have you seen how particular Fraze is but he doesn't really have much hair to be stylin' so Bronson: 👴 awkward Bea: you fool Bea: not like that 😂 Bea: though I'll keep it in my backpocket for when we inevitably row later Bea: #malepatternbaldnessBITCH Bronson: Freebie to kick your day off right again Bea: if you refuse to tell me what to do, could you use your skillz for good at least and fucking disable my phone when i'm fucked Bronson: Last time I tried you tried to fight me like Bea: Look, I didn't say it was a task for the fainthearted 😉 Bea: and yes, you would be the first to succeed too Bea: but if anyone can, its my man 😘 Bronson: Ego boost before eggs Bronson: Whoa Bronson: Today is looking up Bea: Gotta keep you sweet with all the bitching I'll no doubt do at brunch Bea: such a Carrie move, like no one cares bitch, write it in your column or books or...what did she even write? Or was she just monologuing at her computer, like all been there babe but don't act like its buying you all that designer Bronson: Her real true love was that laptop Bronson: Solved it Bea: 😲 Bea: but Mr. Big Bea: clue in the name Bronson: Could be his wallet Bronson: explain the designer gear Bea: Exactly Bea: Just my type Bronson: I'd go in for it if I can spend and send him the receipts Bea: you must be aware there are websites for that Bea: get on it boy Bronson: It all gets too sexual for my tastes Bea: set out boundaries Bea: different strokes for different folks Bea: i'm SURE there's a millionaire out there that just wants to chat Bronson: 🤔 There's enough fighting off advances in the club Bronson: Shelving that until millionaires become good people Bea: not bad people by default Bea: just a bad system they profit from more than you Bronson: Getting deep in here Bronson: Truth though Bea: real talk take #2 Bea: where do you think charlie was last night? and who or what was he doing? Bronson: Good questions that I have no answer to Bronson: If he had a job we'd all know Bea: I need to know, suspense is killing me Bea: I didn't think anything beat drugs in his book Bea: somewhat encouraging? Bronson: You could ask but I doubt you'd get far enough into the real Bronson: It is Bronson: Boy's growing up? Bea: Full of the #bants them two Bronson: Since day 1 Bronson: I'm coming to get you, Barbara Bronson: Ready yourself Bea: *falls over gravestones like a dumb bitch* Bea: i'm good to go and looking fly Bronson: I'll do the coded knock Bronson: Made up rn Bea: Helpful Bronson: That's my thing Bronson: Soon, my love, soon

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace & Jimmy

Janis: Fucking Phones! *Janis shouts, her frustration kicked into overdrive, phone shotput at the nearest wall before she can think about it. If it wasn't broken before, like. Paces over to the shattered remains, not to cradle with regret, but to put the boot in further, stomping heavily on the useless hunk of junk 'til she's satisfied. Deep breaths were saved for AFTER the storm, not some pathetic vain attempt to stop the inevitable. She was well past that stage. Had she EVER been so naive to be at that stage? Had she ever tried to stop herself? What was the point? She knew how strong she was, how strong IT was, knew better than to get in her own way, like. As she was pondering what the fuck to do now, someone who had NEVER learnt to get out of the oncoming tide's way walked through the door. Oh, Gracie. How many times have you been left shattered on the floor? Stung to think about. Not just 'cos she'd got glass in her feet that needed dealing with. But first- Despite agreeing with Jim earlier, Janis knew her twin better, knew there was more to it. What she did not know was what to do about it. Whatever it was. Gulp. An olive branch disguised as you'd be doing me a favour. That'd have to do it.* Grace? Can I borrow your phone quick, like. *She gestured to the crime scene below her feet.* Grace: *She's a liar, concerned with only the promise that today the gym would be packed, and it was. Every lad who flexed to get girls had eyes for the ones they ranked before Grace walked in, and the girls that were above it, or faking that they were, locked onto their camera roll as they did their work out, looking at themselves, 'done with anyone else, honestly'. She took selfies herself, because without being focused on the insta numbers what did she have, a playlist that preached empowerment without giving her any? Tragic. Pathetic was all she felt next to them, solidarity wiped off her radar by the invisibility she needed and hated. Fuck the sisterhood. Mother nature's turned her back and over it without a 'thank you, next. There's more space at home for her than here. Beyond tragic. Still she goes there minus any juice or coffee stops, there's no craving that can touch how much she doesn't want to run into the growing list of people who she'd die if she had to deal with being around. Obviously she near collides with one of the first immediately because OH MY GOD she can't get a break right now. Coping with only being wanted for her phone is easier than expected though. Grace unlocks and hands it over wordlessly, keeping her attention on what is gestured and so #relatable.* Janis: *Janis nods her thanks, doing her level-best to pretend her sister, silent, wasn't a total headfuck; Wished for many a time but she'd never professed to being careful, had she? The tapping out of a quick text the only sound allowed to occupy the vast space between them. Allowing the awkwardness to grow, as if it could bridge the gap, Janis read his reply (received in record time, by the way) and made huge effort not to smile smugly because she REFUSED to be one of those girls, even though that had had the potential to unite her with her twin in the past, it felt like a bad move now. She wasn't one of those girls either. Not really Not deep down. And she certainly did not seem it nowadays. Oh how we have changed, my friend. She handed the phone back as silently as it had been given, intent on leaving it at that but, for some reason, words tumbling as thoughtless as the rain of violence had upon her own phone just moments ago, she just asked her.* Do you want to come out with us? We're not doing anything exciting, like. So you don't have to...But if a bit of normality sounds good, though; gotta walk the dogs and his brother and sister, run some errands up town. *She finishes lamely with a casual shrug, as if that took nothing, as if they always did this kinda thing. Before they did, but the past was a different place, a town they didn't occupy any more. Whether you thought that a tragedy (and Janis did think it that, too) or otherwise, it was what it was.* Grace: *This headfuck adds itself to the pile, leaving her again, clueless as to who the fuck she is. Grace had long been thinking it of her twin, before barista boy had moved in and got her shaken off from her sister totally, but it's pushed away whenever it enters her head and tries to shake up her own persona. No way and no time like. Until now that it had run out for her anyway. It doesn't matter what her mum said, over and over, she feels broken. And ashamed. And somehow, Janis knew that without knowing, offering her a pity hang to keep the vibe from leaving her alone. Obviously she could go off, hard, in the moment and get everyone else to leave her but what was the point if that's her only power? A pity party is the only one that'll be thrown for her these days, there's no choice but to cope with that. Later. After she's called Janis out in gestures and expressions that scream UGH and AS IF because too much has changed to let go of that. Even as she realises she's accepting, all 'thank god I showered and changed at the gym' crossing her mind and face.* Okay, Jan, no need to beg babes. *Grace fluffs her hair, smiling wide enough to hurt. Later too.* Gotta change my bag first like OMG, a dog that cute has just gotta come home with me. Unfair that your feed gets all of her when mine's the most poppin'. She's welcome. Janis: *Janis rolls her eyes but that action, so overused it went way beyond practiced into straight up muscle memory, was accompanied by a less usual smile. Small but conveying the too-big-and-awkward-to-mention idea that today, just this once, she would let shit slide. Still, it'd feel to alien for both if she let her twin get away with EVERYTHING, like. Sympathies SHOULD only stretch so far, otherwise who even were they?* Sure she'll be buzzin' for the fame, Grace. Just be quick about it, alright? I've already left 'em hanging long enough meself with the fecking phone dramas... *And the shower. And the actually taking longer than ten seconds to pick out somethin' decent to wear, somethin' he might like. Push that feeling down, along with the bile it caused. Don't think about it. Deal with it later. She busied herself in the kitchen, NOT like the proper little housewife the stupidity of giving a shit was mockingly making her feel, but by fishing out the promised leftovers for Twix, finding the sparklers, and chucking in some leftovers for the kids too, Holiday food still coming out their earholes here. Again she ignored the mocking voice from within, trying to be rational about it. It weren't like she gave a fuck like THAT, and not about Jim but if their dad was AWOL it was probably microwave meals and takeaway grub, the kiddos may as well have something decent to line their bellies, Lord knows her fam didn't need it. No sense wasting it. So there. Fuck you. Janis grabbed her house keys and chucked her new cropped hoodie over her outfit, untucking her curls and waiting by the door, foot tapping from impatience, nothing more, alright?* Grace: *Grace moves fast, not because she's feeling it herself but she knows Janis is and can't handle the fight, impatience so blatant to cause it that even without a twin connection that Jimmy would see it himself as quick. Her stomach twists painfully, the idea that no man will ever want her again resurfacing before it can be pushed back down. Her body flops down on her bed staying separate from her, face pressed into the tear-stained pillow until she has a reason for not being able to breathe. A small sound comes out, nothing else. The other girl will be charging up the stairs if she doesn't hurry so she forces herself up and does the switch, grabbing stuff she might need blindly. The 'who am I?' question throws itself out again but it's better than any Janis will ask otherwise. Grace reassures herself its her reasoning for no mirror check before walking away. * Janis: *The 'okay, let's do this' doesn't need to be vocalized (need or want? they're two very different beasts but let's both pretend we don't know otherwise), so it isn't. Quickly jostling out the door, matching pace on the short walk to the Grandparent's, like this was a two-step or a tango another dance that required two to- somehow keeping rhythm, keeping time, so well and so naturally between them it was like they'd never stopped being a double act. Now with Killer in tow, the truth that they had stopped being Graceandjanis, presented itself readily in the hugs and love she received and the awkward hellos and suspicious barks Grace did when they made their date. Janis couldn't very well push the kiddos away, no need to be that much of a cunt on anyone's behalf, her sister especially wouldn't thank her for it- but she converted Jim's into a one-arm handshake type hug affair; 'accidentally (who knew?) pushing her extended fist into his stomach with a 'whoops'. She withdrew, choosing to do what she knew how before anything else could be said or done or even thought.* Race ya to the swings! *It was a challenge for the entire group, fuck it, the dogs could get in on the action if they liked, just give a fucking distraction. Bobby hung back Grace too. Janis looked back, wondering if she should run back too, not leave her sister so soon but she found her legs continuing regardless, beyond her control. That was just how it was these days.* Grace: *She can breathe again, easily, of course she can, when they are walking side by side. Grace forgets until the park's in sight, reminding her hard enough to bring tears to her eyes. She blinks them away, refusing to be that girl, but the buggy's still there, being pushed in time with her own steps so close she can't help but remember how far away any of that is for her. Frantically she clutches her phone, acting out living a life where what the screen is showing her is something she cares deeply about knowing. The distraction can't last and doesn't. There they are, Jimmy and his brother, his sister keeping pace with a sniffing puppy, kicking her own toes against the ground. 'I feel you girl' she thinks, automatically despite having no idea what the girl's deal is and barely a grip on her own either. They all smile, waves and everything, but hers doesn't hurt now and won't tonight. None of this is real. She might as well not be here, that's not news anymore than Janis being gone again is, so why react to it? It's hard enough pretending to give them her usual vibes. The boy doesn't run when the rest do, sticking with her. What the fuck is she meant to do or say to that? She blinks again, breathing deep and he mirrors it. Too relatable. Horrible. If he starts sobbing she can't just stand there. No way. Janis would kill her. It'd look suss af even if she handled it well, a kid crying with nobody but her around to blame. Oh god. She can't do this. He's looking at her like she trod on his dog with her heels on, and hasn't stopped. Grace bends down to his level with another whispered 'hey, cutie', cussing herself for packing her bag on autopilot because she couldn't guarantee having anything he might like. At a loss she falls into old habits, asking him quietly if he wants to take a selfie. He shakes his head no first, until she pulls up all the best features her phone can offer, filters making him smile wider and wider as he skips through. He almost loses it when she makes herself into a singing dog emoji thing and insists loudly that she send it to his big sister's phone. She tells him to go ahead, all it takes to secure a friend for the afternoon apparently. Grace shakes her head, smiling without realizing it. He hasn't even found her games yet. Just you wait boy.* Jimmy: *It's been a headache getting them sorted, but the fresh air eventually clears it before it turns into more than a heaviness behind his eyes. Janis not having a phone, and the thought of him having to text Grace's more than once had him picking up the pace and the kids followed eagerly despite dragging their feet when he first told 'em to get a move on. Cass has no choice unless she was about Twix wrecking her Christmas trackies in all the excitement of her true love appearing and Bobby makes up his mind just as fast when he catches on too. The park or the cramped four walls of their living room, no contest, like. He was with them both there. #Buzzing he thinks with a smirk that's a grin until it's nothing. She pushes him away, forcing him to push himself to catch back up. He touches the chain of the swing just after she does, dogs at his heels, only moving aside so his sister can jump on (and off as soon probably, but go for it, Cass). No prizes for coming second. He looks over his shoulder for bobby, seeking him out, relaxing when he sees Grace with him. He's alright. Wish he could say the same, having lost.* Janis: *Janis took as much internal pleasure from the victory as she could get- not much, nothing if we're being real (we aren't). Empty as she felt, plenty of room, like; still, she found the silly little 'win' just as hollow. Still, could fake that that wasn't the case, throwing up loser signs as she raised her arms in 'triumph'. Being an arrogant cunt was a surefire way to keep people at a safe distance, that method beyond tried and tested now. 'Let's get this whole situation back to fakery, yeah?' Her every sane impulse urges, terror white hot, cornered animal scared, ready to lash out for her survival, (and his). 'Please, no. I'm not ready to stop this!' The part of her that burns with wanting him, loving- this, whatever 'this' was, begs, thick with need. Need was not allowed. Needing things just meant hurt and disappointment, every time. And Janis felt she had enough stacked already. Call her weak or a pussy for knowing she wasn't super-human, (not even human), for knowing her limits (Weak. Pussy.) Enough was enough, do what you do best already, and run; run so far ahead of him that all he's left with is your dust, not even memories, good or otherwise, to remember you by. Forget about it, kid. Ignoring Jim might be a task she was up for the challenge of but ignoring Twix proved near impossible, Janis patted the pup's head absent-mindedly, just to get her to calm down a bit, like. Working out what was wrong when she was met with manic sniffing, she dug around in her pockets and produced a bone. She tossed it lazily but it still flew a great distance through the air out into the open field. She then had the perfect excuse to casually follow after the running dog. So chill. So natural.* Jimmy: *He pushes Cass on the swing a few times, helping her get the speed up she needs to make the jump, but hard as he goes for it, it doesn't help. The only thing that's gonna is to sort out why Janis is being off with him. He asks himself first, thinking that since Grace was being uncharacteristically quiet too that was the answer. Being mad that Gracie has invited herself to tag along made sense but taking it out on him was a dickhead move like. Shrugging to convince any watching sisters that he didn't give a shit, he jogs over to where the two of them are, bending to annoy Twix 'cause that'll get to her most.* Gracie coming too town too? I see how it is, getting coffee when she knows her real faves on shift. None taken.* It's bollocks but going off for a smoke'll go down like a lead balloon with Bobby when he notices which means Cass getting pissed off at him when Janis already is. Instead he nods over to where his little brother is, still beside Grace. *We should get in on that, bet our selfie game's well stronger and you'd make a gorgeous bunny mate it has to be said. Janis: *Janis nudges him away from Twix as if the daft thing were hers and not at least part his, making a 'leave off' sound too.* Don't blame me if she goes for your ankles, like. I didn't teach her how to do that or nowt but you know, s'a bitch's prerogative. *She nods, not looking at him, eyes kept on the horizon, as if he were a stranger she was having a meaningless chat to about the weather whilst keeping an eye out for the bus still.* Yeah. Anything to get out the house though, init. *Said as if Grace was driving her as mad as two hyper kids, which usually wouldn't be a lie but currently her sister had about as much life in her as the Christmas tree they'd just chucked. She did her best to ignore the joke about the other baristas, 'cos at the end of the day it was one, it just didn't feel like it when her twin was in such a way. But even Janis couldn't pin that on the boy stood with her now, she had enough pride to not appear entirely irrational, like. She could, however, lower herself to an eye-roll at the equally as jokey suggestion.* Nah. Bobby's cuter. Besides, I'm so fucking sick of selfies. Jimmy: *He shakes his head exaggeratedly, smirking.* No chance. She's soft as. Lot of that going about.* Jimmy nudges Janis playfully. *Like trainer, like dog, don't they say? *Anything to get a reaction out of her that isn't this. 'Cause fucking hell he doesn't get it. They'd had a good day before, only better if he'd beat her at paintball too, and a decent night despite the actually mad amount of family she had for him to meet. This morning she'd been alright with him. Their normal. Until now. What the fuck had gone wrong? Panic makes his palms slick and he uses her nan's husky as means to destroy the evidence before she twigs it to be, patting the dog's head affectionately.* This one on the other hand, #savage. Twix, get taking those notes, hun. *He laughs, hating what it sounds like when it lands, but preserving. Why the fuck not. Might as well go one further he thinks, and does, acting like he'd been shot down by what's actually true as he raises his hands to demand a ceasefire before making a show of putting the phone away and patting his pocket. * You'll change your tune once that new model's in your hand. Janis: Fuck off! *She says, indignant, voice raised. Couldn't even help it, correct button pressed; well done, mate. Nail on head, the ease in which he could do it sickening, a punch in the guts. A warning sign. No, it wasn't. She just got angry, she was an angry person, that was all, nothing more to it. Now calm down. Calm the fuck down before you embarrass yourself further. 1 2 3- Fuck it. Janis snorts, again words out before she can help it. Before she can censor the shit he doesn't need to know. The shit she doesn't talk about. Ever. With anyone.* Yeah well, that's what happens when you're not raised- *Stopping herself before its too late, 'cos nope not going there, not today, not with him. She let him distract the both of them with his amateur dramatics, looking him up and down skeptically.* Not too late to join the drama club, you know. You need an outlet, mate. About as much as I need the newest iPhone and all its megapixels, like. *She does her own mime act, clicking an invisible camera at him.* Grace: *They are playing some brightly coloured tapping game together when his shyness of her wears off. The questions are easy at first, listing off the cats names as far back as she can remember when she tells him regretfully about not having a dog, counting on her fingers and using his when they run out. They are both laughing at the end of it and she continues after hearing his mum was allergic to dogs so they couldn't get Twix 'til she went. Way to own and finalise that separation Mr Taylor, Grace thinks. Such a mood. Janis would 100% approve. She looks over at her sister but her gaze won't linger long enough to be felt. Not now. It just can't. She can't go there. She asks him more about her, this mum who he insists is 'far away', letting him talk. He deserves to say anything he wants, in whatever sense her absence means to him. None of her family do and look at them all. There's a huge part of her desperate to join in, just have the words 'my sister Edie is gone too' come out, but she can't go there either. It isn't right. Not when she means dead and this kid is what, like 5? If her twin's ever shared that info with her she can't find it in the moment, like it matters. She's not gonna offload that on him. No way. Better to keep smiling and encouraging, at least he's thriving off it.* Jimmy: Calm it down! *His own tone stays playful, matching the smirk he doesn't dare to drop. Fuck him for forgetting his shades the one time he needs them for something that isn't posing, if anything in his face gives him away to her they aren't gonna make it to town, making him a peak dickhead. He nods at the next bit, letting her know how 'so relatable he finds it, like' as he looks over at Cass and Bobby both, wearing the 'don't I know it' on his face wearily. Joke's over there. Call it a raw nerve, or too much truth to shrug through.* Yeah. *Before his weariness can piss them both off he takes the out his given to keep this banter jokey. Hip Hip Hooray!* Countin' on it. Shame you've missed the deadline for being one of us art pricks. You'll always have the 'gram though. #blessed. Janis: *'Great' Janis thinks to herself, sinking further into the regret consuming her every thought and action today as she realizes, (or at least presumes), he picked up on the dead sister vibes and now feels awkward as arse. Well done, dickhead. It wasn't as if she could plead ignorance, four years gone had taught them all that other people were crap with dealing with the death conversation. No one wanted the reminder. Least of all them, to be honest. Had to seep into everything, didn't she? Never any good at staying gone. Fuck you, Edie. Janis swallowed following his gaze to Cass and Bobby, taking the time to check up on her sibling too. Nothing, she tells herself, she feels nothing. Fuck them all. Its the blisteringly cold wind making her eyes water, that's all. She grunts in response, hardly worth it but it was all she had to give, not sorry about it. Sorry. She walks on in silence, throwing things for the dogs, shouting out commands, doing her best to disguise the cracks in her voice as a sore throat and nowt else. In the spirit of throwing a bone, she attempts to say something real, give him anything to work with. Purely 'cos this was boring, like. If they were gonna be wasting their afternoon regardless, yeah?*  Let's play a game. You have to answer every question truthfully and straight away, like, if you don't you lose your chance to ask a question back. Meaning I get to go again or you pussy-out fully and call game over then you lose. Got it? I'll even let you go first, gracious victor that I am. Jimmy: *He doesn't know what to do when he sees it in her eyes any more than when he does in his sister's. The fight. He knows what he wants to do, every damn time, but he knows what it'll earn him from Janis. Same as Cass near enough. A smack or a strop off. He's had plenty of the first, naturally, but the second has him frozen in place. He sees it in his head, Janis stepping back as he moves forward and can't bear the maybe like. He breathes out hard, forcing it until he coughs. By the time he has his shit together, it's done. Chance missed for him to go for asking 'why are you being so off with me?' Thank fuck, 'cause honestly he knows the answer, doesn't he? She's fed up now they aren't faking it. He shouldn't hold blame, state of him, but it's there. For himself mostly, thinking she'd be any different. Nobody stays. Give her a few years and Cass'd be off to, looking for better. Bobby after some more. Still, he trails along, trying to be wrong. Needing to be. He feels it when he kisses her, more than his desperation, and if it exists, he can keep on to it.  So he gets a grip now, sorts himself enough to be properly back next to her. Grins when he is, 'cause there it is. A new chance. Fucking hell. Jimmy nods. * Yeah okay. *He catches her eye, challenging her to back down already but bricking it that she might. What would he do then? He nudges her, the contact meaning more to him than the casual gesture lets anyone else know. He tries, ready to lose if needs be. * What's up with you then? Janis: *Janis resists the urge to pull a face, an 'of all the questions' kind of look, 'cos obviously that's the entire point of the game and she was the one who started it so- man up, like. She opts for the classic 'is that it?' look instead, faking out on her answer not being an option (she wouldn't do that to him) but she could at least front some bravado before answering truthfully. She leaned into his nudge as if to prove to herself otherwise as she said-* I'm scared. *A shrug, again, as if to counteract her words. She also fought the urge to ask what was wrong with him too, settling on an easier question, but one she'd still care to know the answer to.* How many girls have you slept with? Jimmy: *There's so many questions that come to mind when she gives her answer but it isn't his turn and honestly, if it was, he's scared too. More than a bit. Probably more than she is, truthfully. 'Cause the feeling is too strong to be alone in, he's about to let her know she isn't, by reaching for her hand and squeezing but there's no time for that. She takes her go, digging at him less than expected. Jim hides his surprise with a snort, shaking his head. 'What are you like?' that gesture implies, but he's bothered more about the state of himself, hiding behind all this bollocks again. He returns the shrug she gave him, easy as. She already knows about Skerries. There's no mystery despite what they all seemed to believe when he arrived as a newbie * 2. I had a girlfriend at home before. Ages go. * He shoots her a look, hopefully unreadable.* That scare you more or less? Janis: *She nods. Honestly, pleased, just a hint of a smile gracing her face. Yeah, yeah, yeah that shit shouldn't matter and it didn't, like; when you were on level-pegging, her bitterness told her, even if Jim's number was low, hers was always gonna be lower, wasn't it? Still, there was only one honest answer to his question. Didn't even compare, like.* Less. *Janis was tempted to ask him why he was wasting questions but she would be doing the same in-turn so, nah. She let herself think for slightly longer than last time, working out how best to play this. Interesting enough to keep him playing but not coming out with the real scary shit 'cos that'd have him quitting even faster if she went there with no warming him up, like.* Why'd you not wait to find a real girlfriend here? Jimmy: *He laughs, it's her directness that does it. Yeah that's the point of the game but she's there shamelessly #buzzing by his 'revelation.' It's the first time he's done something right since they got here and he can't help smiling himself. Finally not a smirk. Cheers, mate. He stops himself shrugging yet again, in case that feels like a step back, though for real, he could care less about this question. He'd never lied about his lack of interest or any of that. Still wasn't. * I didn't want one. *Until he did. And here they are. Scary shit. It's better to focus on the game, something he can ask while still playing safe enough to keep going. What then? Come on, dickhead. There's a part of him, also from ages ago apparently, that wants to blurt out something about that cunt Harry she kept kissing, the jealousy existing, making him feel shitty. Reminding him he is, like. His smile fades. Can't keep anything, can he? *Why me when you could've just told your haters about other school Harry and left it at that? He loved boasting about the two of you, he'd have been enough. Janis: *Janis stuck her middle finger up but she joined in the laughter all the same, 'cos not would give her away more than she already had and she couldn't have that. Just let him think she was a jealous girl or whatever had him cracking up. 'Cos surely she hadn't let him close enough that he could actually know what was up, had she? She considered his answer as she stressed over her own. Guess he hadn't...But why now? What had changed? Was they really still just mates, but with benefits, like? Was that all he waiting for? Oh wait, stupid bitch, YOU have to answer first. And that is way more than your allotted one question per turn. And just much too much in general. Calm it. And answer before you look any weirder.* 'Cos he weren't my boyfriend. Ever. Anyone can get a lad like that to get off with them, didn't really prove anything. Besides, I wanted to help you, like. I dunna why. Sue me. *She pokes her tongue out, turning to face him, walking backward as she asks her next. Changing tact, 'cos she's not sure if she can actually handle knowing the answers to all the questions she'd posed in her head.* Do you really hate it here? Jimmy: *It doesn't seem like she's gonna answer at first, but instead of feeling good about another victory to his name, it just lets in all the shit waiting there in his own head to fill in the blanks. He's heard and told a load to piss off before she gives hers. It's nowt he didn't proper know by himself but there's comfort in how she says 'ever' as a fuck you. Fuck off Harry you prick. The feeling only builds when she gets walking like that, reminding him of Jaden's party. He'd never wanted to stop kissing her that night. Still didn't. Same finality. 'Cause yeah, right now he didn't ever. There it was. So when he shakes his head it's no pisstake. Banter's the furthest thing from the gesture and he let's his face show it. Just for now, like. * Nah, I hate that them two do, but not me. *He looks over at his siblings, Bobbin's taken Cass' place on the swings now but she's stayed nearby, phone out, snapping him. Do it for the 'gram, he can't help thinking, an affectionate smile lingering as he looks back at his girlfriend. *You? Wish you'd kept running when you did one from school and me like? Janis: *Back to nodding again, following the direction of his gaze and topic of conversation, 'cos she gets it. Without second-guessing and stopping herself with 'well their situation is probably worse' type of thoughts, she just lets it come out. The first thing she's ever said to him about Edie. The first time she's spoken about her in a long time, except to tell Grace she's glad she's dead, and that she wished she were too, of course. Standard.* We haven't always lived here, either...Lived lots of places for Mum's job and just 'cos. Ireland was barely Home for the older lot; when we came back my sister Edie hated it so fucking much. Not exciting enough, I guess. Or she liked people not knowing us the rest of the places, unlike here... *She trails off red-faced. Shrugging for cover as always.* What I mean is, probably the exact opposite for them two. Not enough people know 'em. We could change that. Introduce them to the unwashed mass of my lot. They will get more comfortable, you know... *Again the trail-off 'cos why the fuck was she offering up useless platitudes like he was a total idiot? Jesus. Distract with your answer time, bitch. As if that would diffuse the tension any. HA.* Kind of...but nah, not really, 'cos its just the people and their talk and the good and bad memories and all the ghosts, init? No matter the destination, all that shit follows so- It ain't really Dublin's fault. Just nice to take a break sometimes. *She smiles, hoping it'll just be taken as a reference to always having Skerries or some shit, and not the fact that being with him felt like a break, wherever they were. Don't need to scare him off THAT hard. And not yet. Fuck a good decision. For now.* What about you, why'd your Da move yous here? Jimmy: *It's his turn to nod dumbly then, 'cause he gets it, Edie's (supposed) feeling. It's what he likes best about this city, that even when his (supposed) new boy shine wears off, there's still much none of them know about him. Won't. He can breathe here for that, a bit, and does until he's reminded of the limits by Janis says after. She isn't wrong. Here he isn't the lad whose mum vanished, but he still is. Always will be, unless she does some magic fucking reappearing act, and how likely is that? It isn't doable, he tells himself so every damn night and for good reason. But Janis isn't wrong about what Cass and Bob need either. It isn't fair for him to keep them shut in this tight circle knowing that they can't keep their mouths shut. Why should they? They're just kids and its their normal, bound to feel like the kind of shit chatted about over the school lunch table. His hands shove themselves deep in his pockets not knowing what else to do. He wants a smoke bad but isn't far enough away from the park yet. Won't get to be. This is why they're here like. Shit. * Yeah. *It's all he has to say, barely able to look at her as is. Lifting his head back to her level is a bigger challenge than he can rise to now. Loser. Fuck. More than anything else he wants to ask her for a break, demand it, but he can't. Janis hit right on how there's no escaping this. He sighs, pulling his hood up. If she thinks he's only keeping the cold out then he'll take that, if not, he'll handle it when. Fuck it. There's only so much trying Jimmy can do today. * He got fired. Wanted a fresh start then.* He shrugs. All true. He doesn't believe if lying by omission or any of that bollocks. She didn't ask why he was sacked. Why a fresh start had to be so drastic. Those are other questions, ones he's not about to answer come to that.* We goin' down town or what? Janis: *That was it. Game over. Before she even had tie to register his answer he was sick of giving it. His hood and guard back up. Sighing with it too. Oh, how Janis wished it made HER mad. What she wouldn't give to feel that familiar friend close to her right now, to take comfort in its arms when he was shutting her out. But of course not, of course fucking not. Couldn't even have that, could she? All she felt was desperation, desperate to be let back in, to know what she did wrong so she could avoid doing it again, and it made her feel fucking sick. At least the nausea gave her valid reason to spit on the ground.* Can't be bothered now, don't matter, you lot still go if you wanna. *She fumbled in her hoodie pocket for Killer's lead, whistling him over so she could get the fuck out of here, NOW. Of course, Twix came bounding and the oblivious husky didn't. Great.* Good girl, Twix... *She mumbled, giving her some love and a treat, wishing the ground could swallow her whole.* Jimmy: *He starts walking back toward the swings, knowing it'll take ages to get both of them ready to go, longer than Janis is gonna stick around for definitely. Jimmy keeps his gaze there, Twix'll move when Cass does and there and then, if she didn't he didn't give a shit. There's no room for it. He's only filled up with how badly he's fucked this when the answer comes and a question won't follow. His sister starts mouthing off when he makes it clear they're off home but a look sorts it. Gotta leave before he's left, sorry. Cass gets Bobby and Twix with her, which should make him feel worse but there's no room for that either. Not yet. One for later like. The two them say their goodbyes, Bobby gives hugs to both twins. He doesn't. Can't if it's the last. There's nowt to do but this.* Probs text you, Gracie. *He's aiming for a joke, without waiting for it to land. Any answers. It's too much, being fake again. Especially like this.* Janis: *Even though she's the one who said it, AND she was the one who started to pack up first, when he just walks away, without so much as a glance back, nevermind a goodbye, it's like a punch in the face. (Don't you know by now I don't mean it? Dickhead)* Oi! *She pushes past him, letting the shout sail over his head like it wasn't even a little bit aimed at him, rushing up to Cass to give her the bag of goodies she'd foraged.* Enjoy, yeah? *Saying her Goodbyes to both kid's as if her and Jim already had, nothing to see here. Janis grits her teeth, poor excuse for a good-humored smile to match his worse attempt at a joke. Have her, if that's what you really want, just cut me off 'cos I can't keep hanging on your every word, Jimmy Taylor. She says nothing, figuring she can let her twin, like she used to. Feeling that unnecessary and unwanted again.* Grace: *Grace has no idea what's happening, beyond the obvious. The tragic. She was in her own world until Jimmy came through, a world where she could deal with being around these kids 'cause they're older and Cass reminds her of Gus which hurts, but in the old way, one she's learned to cope with. This new pain is too new to try and deal. It takes everything not to cry when she hears a newborn doing that. She's hates it, being back to being this lost, a hopeless saddo again, so obviously latches onto the tension surrounding her twin and the barista. She can't fix it, can't even really put her finger on the vibe, but it's enough that it isn't hers. A distraction she can sit in. Drama that can never be as deep as the one her body's done on her.* Oh, you're going. Cool. Laters then, babes. Hope I'll see you around, cutie. * She smiles wide at Bobby, a better fake than Janis can ever be. *No offense, Jimmy.* The laugh sounds real. Only the kids give her something back, but it's for them she does it, not wanting what her sister is gonna dish out in this mood. And if looks could kill, the boyfriend's could have them all in the ground. No fucking thanks. Off you go, boy, bye.* Jimmy: *He waves both twins off as if they're on equal footing suddenly like. Funny fucker he is. Even more of a twat. He keeps going, lighting up as he does, every word Cass might say about it blocked out before it gets out. Enough. It's this or worse, sorry. The kids start bickering as they round the corner, taking out the bullshit he'd started and let seep out on each other when they can't reach him. Jimmy feels like handling it like he's younger than Bobby's age, throwing himself to the floor and sobbing for a bit. There's no getting rid that easily though. Not for him. Janis was the lucky one there. Shame she didn't feel it, but it was too late for him to do anything about that. She wasn't even in sight anymore. Fuck knows when she next would be. He couldn't think of school starting when tomorrow was too far. Too much. He rubs his eyes, ready to call it tiredness but nobody was there to issue a challenge. Fuck.* Janis: *Janis turns on her heel, without acknowledging him again (not hard when all she can think to do is knock him out or beg at his feet, neither of those an option she could live with), but its cheapened by the fact he did it first, and meant it. She prays the walk Home can be as shrouded in sweet silence as the walk here was. For her sake this time. But as they walk on, further and further away from him, she starts to wish Grace would say something, ANYTHING! She needed the distraction from her own thoughts, the ones that had got her in this mess in the fucking first place! Differences aside, even her twin was better company.* Did you wanna go up-town, like? We still can... *She shrugs. What else does she have to say or offer right now?* Grace: *The walk back doesn't feel anything like the one going, they are in step, yeah, but it means nothing 'cause they're both so in their own 'drama'. She nearly tells her sister, at least part of it, as an excuse for why she's being this 'ugh' (none of these stupid, basic words fit, but they are what she automatically reaches for), feeling she owes her that, knowing Janis would be down for her being a bitch over giving her nothing to kick back against. None of the words will come out though. Of course. Only more of her usual kinda convo stuff will. She's that bitch now. Shadowing her former self. God, it's even more pathetic than anything she'd tried to pull on her twin. But it fits, and she flips her hair, turning to the other with a smile which doesn't come as easy but she forces herself to wear anyway. *Well, girl, you still need a phone. Even if just to tell him to fuck off when he tries blowing mine up. Janis: *She's looking down at their feet; looking anywhere else, a risk. She nods, allowing a small 'true' chuckle to follow too. Janis raises her head, straightening her back and standing up taller. She groans as she cracks her bones and stretches out her arms and legs like she's warming up for something. Too little too late, perhaps? God damn.* Fuck this shit, Gracie. Fuck.This.Shit. *She doesn't even know fully what her sister's shit is yet but she feels confident in sending it to Hell with her own.* What are we gonna do, eh? Grace: *She whispers it herself, 'fuck it' so soft, but so 'fire'. (Another word than couldn't touch how things were) It felt good to have it out of her. More than that, feeling connected to her twin again (bad as she felt for thinking it under these conditions, god she was such a bitch.) was even better. A more genuine smile is offered up while she thinks of what she can say, tapping her nails against denim. *We're going to town, sister, and owning the rest of this day. New phone, new clothes, whatever we want. Fuck it. Janis: *Janis smiles back, as genuine.* Fuck it. Let's do this.