#this isn't particularly happy

[radiantmists]

im obsessed with how, in the beginning of episode 1, it's charles who says "do you ever think about death catching us and splitting us up", and it's edwin who says "I will never let that happen".

because of course edwin is the one who objectively has the most to lose if they get caught, and they're both very aware of this. when the night nurse ambushes them, charles steps between her and edwin immediately, and the second time he explicitly says do what you want with me, but leave edwin. it would be natural for him to be the protective one-- and a lot of the time he is!

but the very first time we're presented with the idea of running from death, it's charles who expresses anxiety and edwin who reassures him. because what scares charles most is the thought of being separated from edwin-- and, as always, edwin doesn't want charles to be afraid.

[trappedinafantasy37]

One of the things that had my mind spinning for a while is that in the Shadowheart origin, if you reject Shar, Minthara will apologize. She will believe that she and the rest of the companions held Shadowheart back from achieving her destiny. She blames herself for Shadowheart making a choice completely on her own, thinking that Shadowheart's concern for herself and others held her back. Minthara feels it to be her fault that Shadowheart is not as powerful as she could be and she is to blame for Shadowheart walking away from her destiny. Minthara sees herself as having failed for Shadowheart making the choice that she did.

I know it is cut content and cannot really be considered canon, but she does something similar in the breakup. Where she's yelling at Durge and asking why they rejected Bhaal. And Durge can tell her it's cause they love her. When the breakup was slipped in, I was initially so angry because Minthara calls Durge stupid for choosing love over power (when Minthara herself chooses love over power). Especially since the breakup happens like 10 minutes after the alurlssrin confession where she says the two of you have an unbreakable bond. I used to be so confused on why she would be so upset that you actually loved her. Then I realized that she's not upset that you love her. She's upset cause she fears that your love for her held you back.

Even though she sees you as her equal, she keeps putting herself as less than you. Where your wants and desires are more important than her own, and your greatness should be put above any affection you have for her. She wants you to love her of course, but she does not want to be what holds you back from reaching for power. To Minthara, power is safety and she has never felt safe. She wants you to keep elevating yourself cause the stronger you are, the safer you will be and by extension, the safer she will be. So you picking her over power means you are less safe and by consequence, she is less safe. And as much as Minthara loves loves, she needs to be safe first. It's why it seems like she keeps making the same dumb mistakes over and over, getting herself into precarious situations. It isn't because she's necessarily blinded by love, but she feels her proximity to power should keep her safe.

I also had a discussion with someone on Reddit, talking where it almost seems like Minthara keeps putting herself in positions of servitude, despite having some pretty ambitious goals involving world domination. We are talking about someone who has been a servant of Lolth her entire life. She tells us she was raised to be a soldier in Lolth's army and that was all she was meant to be. For 200+ years she was a servant and has never been anything else and doesn't know how to be anything else, and I believe she is too afraid to try to be anything else.

As a paladin, she was responsible for keeping social order, follow the word of whatever Priestess was in charge and enacting Lolth's will, partake in surface raids, and kill any of Lolth's enemies. There was very little room for her to achieve what she wanted, because Lolth had to come first. And even if there were things she wanted for herself, they still ultimately had to please Lolth in the end. Her time in the Absolute is no different. She just swaps the Absolute for Lolth and keeps up with the same shit (although she is too brainwashed to tell). So of course she is stunned when Lolth abandons her and the Absolute attempts to kill her and throws her deep into a crisis of faith. 200+ years of service has always bought her safety, until it didn't. So when you come along, she just swaps you for the Absolute. Telling herself, "I just need to be better than I was for the Absolute, better than I was for Lolth, and I should be okay." And her little rant about the gods, Lolth, Bhaal, the Absolute. Minthara is not anti-god. Minthara is anti-gods who do not reward their followers for their service. Because to her, service should be rewarded with something (other than death). She plays both sides when it comes to Shar because although she does think Shar is a poison in Shadowheart's life and believes Shadowheart is better off without Shar, at least Shar did reward Shadowheart for her service by making her a Dark Justiciar and elevating her to Chosen.

You would think she'd learn, but she doesn't. Not because she's stupid, but because her basic need for safety isn't being met. And so be fair, her "mistakes" with Lolth and the Absolute were relatively recent. So she keeps pushing people down the path of ruin and never going down the path herself directly, thinking that if she helps you become powerful, she will be safe. Where if she stands beside as you walk down this path, you will reward her for her service. Where she does not believe you would betray her because she helped you get that power. Where she thinks her service to you should buy her safety. Because to her, the most important thing she can be to you is useful. And she is terrified of being useless. So she provides you with unbreakable loyalty, devotion, and servitude, (and perhaps love). Where she will help you achieve your ambitions, whether it be to become a Dark Justiciar, the Vampire Ascended, the Slayer, or a god. Her path to safety, and greatness, and true power is forever lost to her down in the Underdark. So all she can do is help you walk down yours.

She keeps doing the same stupid shit over and over, making the same mistakes with people over and over, cause her fundamental need to safety is never being satisfied. And her service to various gods and entities technically did buy her safety, but only for an unknown period of time. And when she loses that safety, she thinks that the problem is her. That she was punished because she was not a good enough servant. That if she was a truly good servant, she won't lose your safety and your protection. And she thinks love interferes with your perception of her as a servant. She wants you to see her as a loyal servant first, lover second, because the only things in her life to be truly rewarded was her service, whereas her love got punished.

[lord-squiggletits]

Y'know I kind of feel like when Megatron killed Tarn and said 'I want you to spend your final moments thinking of this: that everything you've done has been for nothing' he was kind of self-projecting onto Tarn? Mainly because at Megatron's statue, M and T had a conversation where Tarn explicitly asked if all the Decepticons in service to Megatron died for nothing, if HE did everything he did for nothing. (And I think M even gave an answer along the lines of 'idk I think we basically did'). And then after Megatron killed the DJD and Rodimus teleported in to rescue him, there was that silent moment where Megatron just stared at Rodimus not moving at all before he finally took his hand at the last moment.

It honestly feels to me like for a while, Megatron fully intended to murder-suicide himself. Murder the DJD, his monsters and his creation, and then take himself out alongside them, because he is also a monster. Because he also feels that everything he's ever done has been for nothing.

Goddamn it's no wonder I liked that scene so much LMAO, as someone who thinks villain Megatron > Autobot Megatron, literally one of his key traits is that Megatron basically took his pain/trauma/worldview and used it to lash out at the universe and try to subjugate it to his vision. So the fact that he took his own pain and brutally murdered the DJD while telling them the very same thing that puts him through so much agony is so very deliciously ironic. And a return, however brief, to the Megatron characterization that I know and love.

[guppygiggles]

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[olliepurples]

mdarc chapter 4 spoilers (tw negative)

i'm a couple of doors into the mystery labyrinth, and it's getting a little annoying having shinigami and yuma go "but how could this have happened? who could have done this?" when i literally knew it was yakou as soon as the game told me that the poison had a delay. this is so silly like "how could anyone have got past this, they would have died in thirty minutes!" ok! narrow your suspect pool to people who die in the next thirty minutes then! damn!!!

[myplaylists-angeli]

nightmare before college - twstween playlist

ft. Happy 200th Angeli's Playlist

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[imitor]

hey - so since gege never thought to tell us why the inumaki clan had been outlawed and why jujutsu society was happy to let their entire bloodline die out along with, in my opinion, one of the strongest techniques in the entire lore, i've taken it upon myself with my own original character (inumaki no sukeyasu) to say that at one point in time they were considered in line with the big three until their inherited techinque holder of the period was killed by another sorcerer and nothing was done about it, so they closed their doors to jujutsu society and developed a strictly "them or us" attitude in which they only cared for and extended their hands for the people living within their lands. this changed roughly two generations before sukeyasu, in which their forbearers once again thought to open themselves to the whims and orders of jujutsu society, but after sukeyasu's death in the war against sukuna (being that sukeyasu's twin brother was head of the family at this time, and in his grief he dealt the extreme) they once again turned their backs on society. closed their doors, made it very clear they were not to be involved with any future disturbances, and in anger against their defiance to fall into order, they have been outlawed ever since.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

i'm sorry i'm not being fun enough on my personal blog which is the only place on the internet i get to just be a person and not have to be professional because it's the only place my colleagues and employers don't follow me but also i'm not sorry because sometimes being grumpy is part of being human and i'm so goddamn tired of having to perform perfection on the internet

[thebarefootking]

format borrowed from @gallusrostromegalus

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!

[spaghett-onaplate]

new years vibes

[hawkinslibrary]

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

"He...he was."

For so much of her life, August Pace had been Susannah's whole world: She had some memories of her mother, true, but her death in a boating accident when her daughter was three years old had left those memories as being few and far between. Most of what she knew came to her second-hand, stories her father fondly recalled of their courtship, their marriage, and how happy they were to welcome their one and only child into their life.

But beyond these stories keeping the memory of her mother alive in her heart, August Pace was Susannah's one and only family member, and thus, was always by her side, loving and supporting and encouraging her every step of the way. They looked out for one another, they leaned on each other for comfort, they made each other laugh on hard days, they celebrated each other's victories, no matter how small...thus, it was so bizarre, to be on her own now. To be alone.

"He was the best father I could have ever had," she admitted with a small smile. "He was very...warm and gentle. He loved to garden and to cook; most every fruit or veggie we cooked with, he grew himself in our garden. He worked hard, in every job he had, he gave it his all, and even when he didn't get his due despite that, he didn't let it slow him down. He was kind and had a good sense of humor and...I miss him very dearly."

Quickly brushing away the little teardrops pricking the corners of her eyes (hoping Philippe wouldn't notice), Susannah then asked, "Wh-What about your parents? Wh-What are they like?"

[rossithepixie]

takes jjk polycule test and takes it twice and both results involve Gojo

One was satosugu and the other was nanago and yeah i guess it's predictable for me

[veggiecorner]

What are your thoughts on Age of Calamity Zelink!!?? I like that version a lot because champions are alive, and there's the longing and the added pressure on Link and his future if he decides to court Zelda

I'm gonna be honest I dont really think about it much. It's mostly cause 1) i haven't played Age of Calamity and 2) I just feel like...idk no matter how Nintendo sugar coats it Zelda and Link were NOTTT happy in that timeline. Yes they won, yes people are alive but idk!! Also I feel like AoC went against what BOTW established in terms of Zelda and Link's growth together so it was hard for me to really...get attached.

But AoC aside I used to think about a "what if they won, they're a little damaged but they won" scenario but it went EXACTLY how BOTW played out, instead of AoC's cutscenes. Then to me it has a good sense of longing. Zelda would have different motivations and ways to heal v.s. post-calamity Zelda. Hyrule Castle is messy but its still...there and so are many of the people. I feel that this version of Zelda would feel more motivated to rebuild the kingdom and take over her status of Queen (while post-calamity Zelda was like "nah actually. i'm not gonna re-establish a monarchy"). And Link...would still have that same closed off personality. Yeah he'd be more open to Zelda but he's still dealing with that anxiety of that social status given to him. Additionally he's unsure what he is now. He put away the master sword and now what?? who is he? Why doesn't he feel free from this burden? They won, right?

Overall I think theres definitely a different dynamic in their relationship, one that doesn't exist in post-calamity. Do they pursue it? Well its going to take a lot of time, and tbh more growth on Link's side.

Sorry for the long rant kJSBDAKSBJD I think i just lost the plot