#this isn't particularly happy

[guppygiggles]

////

[lord-squiggletits]

Y'know I kind of feel like when Megatron killed Tarn and said 'I want you to spend your final moments thinking of this: that everything you've done has been for nothing' he was kind of self-projecting onto Tarn? Mainly because at Megatron's statue, M and T had a conversation where Tarn explicitly asked if all the Decepticons in service to Megatron died for nothing, if HE did everything he did for nothing. (And I think M even gave an answer along the lines of 'idk I think we basically did'). And then after Megatron killed the DJD and Rodimus teleported in to rescue him, there was that silent moment where Megatron just stared at Rodimus not moving at all before he finally took his hand at the last moment.

It honestly feels to me like for a while, Megatron fully intended to murder-suicide himself. Murder the DJD, his monsters and his creation, and then take himself out alongside them, because he is also a monster. Because he also feels that everything he's ever done has been for nothing.

Goddamn it's no wonder I liked that scene so much LMAO, as someone who thinks villain Megatron > Autobot Megatron, literally one of his key traits is that Megatron basically took his pain/trauma/worldview and used it to lash out at the universe and try to subjugate it to his vision. So the fact that he took his own pain and brutally murdered the DJD while telling them the very same thing that puts him through so much agony is so very deliciously ironic. And a return, however brief, to the Megatron characterization that I know and love.

[dnangelic]

like it's just the way that outside of the BATB/POTO 'love what's ugly and ostracized' narrative itself cocteau was gay and everybody hated his gall about it, howard ashman was gay and had to conceal it and died of aids after finishing his work for disney's batb.... rather than have dark be homophobic and spitting in the face of his inspirational roots (the sole canon detail i can't stand) it's much much much more interesting for me to both read and write not someone who's meant to be a pervert (in humor) and an agape lover (in serious contextualization) only to turn and say 'no homo' to the crowd every single time but rather, instead of all that, someone who, simultaneously taking daisuke into account, is both extremely firm yet simultaneously insecure in the struggle to establish their identity not only in regards to themselves but also around others.

that applies to a lot, but i've been considering it especially in regards to dark's gender and daisuke's attractions. dark in my portrayal (while overall 500% nonbinary) is closer to someone bi-gender rather than agender; the feminine aspect to him isn't just theatrics, it's actively also part of his entirety to him, (compared to daisuke's passivity; the ten thousand canonical princess allusions,) and even if nobody ever recognizes it in a cognizant way, it is always, always there, the same way that erik blurs and obscures gender in leroux's novel (my second enormous inspiration, sugisaki's outright admitted primary) and sakurai occasionally discusses his relationship as both a performer and a person as well (my third enormous inspiration and sugisaki's secondary,) (see 1, 2.) simply put, the tragedy of (my!) dark does not ever derive from his being able to choose and sit comfortably and confidently with this sort of identity (in fact, it's one of the few things he can stubbornly, viciously decide for himself [alongside daisuke] as essentially a non-human, autonomous 'angel',) it's instead the way that his personality is so strong and 'anti-feminine' in the eyes of convention that said aspect of himself often gets disregarded for strictly masculine (and regardless, further self-contradictory and therefore isolating,) expectations.

dark himself alone does not care if others do not understand him; this is meant to be one of his far more admirable and impressive traits. he's staunchly independent: he knows who he is, what he's supposed to be, and he knows that if he actively presented himself more femininely (crossdressing to 'pass' essentially,) then people's behaviors WOULD be very likely to change around him, but he doesn't even do that because it goes against his overwhelming sense of pride. he never contorts, he never twists himself, what matters to him is that he and he alone understands himself and knows what he is, what he isn't. but he is, without proper support or acceptance, still alone. even bearing a strong character, the stifling loneliness and inherent, underlying self-sense of broken/wrongness of the 'other,' (god's luciferean problem child, the black sheep, the black-leather wearing punk,) is still inflicted on him. dark exists solely for himself, he exists solely for daisuke, which is simultaneously wherein the inversion and insecurities lie: if dark is canonically the live metaphor for all the aspects of daisuke's self that he attempts to and yet cannot possibly, conceivably repress, from his loves to his faults to his shames and his criminal sins as a thief, then the likes of daisuke's own personal confusions in regards to himself and his attempts at intimacy/socialization with others is the other, hidden side of dark's absolute self-confidence; it's every fear of perpetual isolation, misunderstanding, and abandonment for things outside of daisuke's own control.

queerness in relation to the self (transgender allegory) queerness in relation to others (non-hetero-romanticism) mental illness (depression, anxiety,) etc, etc, dark's thematic basis may at its most general simply be "a secret that feels wrong and that you feel you can't really tell anyone or else you'll get in trouble/won't be as liked as much" but it feels much better to give due respect to each of these primary roots.

[myplaylists-angeli]

nightmare before college - twstween playlist

ft. Happy 200th Angeli's Playlist

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[imitor]

hey - so since gege never thought to tell us why the inumaki clan had been outlawed and why jujutsu society was happy to let their entire bloodline die out along with, in my opinion, one of the strongest techniques in the entire lore, i've taken it upon myself with my own original character (inumaki no sukeyasu) to say that at one point in time they were considered in line with the big three until their inherited techinque holder of the period was killed by another sorcerer and nothing was done about it, so they closed their doors to jujutsu society and developed a strictly "them or us" attitude in which they only cared for and extended their hands for the people living within their lands. this changed roughly two generations before sukeyasu, in which their forbearers once again thought to open themselves to the whims and orders of jujutsu society, but after sukeyasu's death in the war against sukuna (being that sukeyasu's twin brother was head of the family at this time, and in his grief he dealt the extreme) they once again turned their backs on society. closed their doors, made it very clear they were not to be involved with any future disturbances, and in anger against their defiance to fall into order, they have been outlawed ever since.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

i'm sorry i'm not being fun enough on my personal blog which is the only place on the internet i get to just be a person and not have to be professional because it's the only place my colleagues and employers don't follow me but also i'm not sorry because sometimes being grumpy is part of being human and i'm so goddamn tired of having to perform perfection on the internet

[thebarefootking]

format borrowed from @gallusrostromegalus

[carefulfears]

what do you consider the heart of californication? like really carries through the series & makes it compelling

thank you for this question, i really love it. to me, it's a number of things, starting with that the show cares deeply about hank and takes him seriously in a way that the culture doesn't. in a way, yes, he's their dog and pony show with the funny one-liners and the salacious pull. but the arc of the series is unequivocally aligned with him and his desires and his needs and his values.

hank wants to be with his family, wants to be better for them, wants to not let them down- and the show needs him to fail at all of those things. for the dog and pony of it all, for their viewership and for their thesis and for the food in their mouths, but it simultaneously feels bad that he is failing. simultaneously knows that this isn't what he wants, and that it's sad. and it can be as simple as a dream sequence or a look or a quiet final scene, but every single episode is ultimately going to remind you that everything you're laughing at is a loss.

which, like i said at the top, speaks to a level of respect that the show had for the character that is just gone in discussions of the series. they take the time to recognize that he is missing something. he is losing something and he is without everything that means anything to him, this is the cost. equally important, duchovny respects that character and understands the same.

i was listening to an interview last night (trish you heard this) where he was speaking with some podcast dudebros and one of the hosts said that he always wanted to be just like hank moody, and then he made some "bad decisions" and got there, and he doesn't like it. and duchovny said that every time people come up to him saying "i'm just like hank moody," he says "i'm sorry."

men watch and they want to be just like hank moody and women watch and they want to fuck hank moody so bad, and all of you miss what the source comprehends: that it's an irreparable deficit.

other than that, i feel like what roots that show is that it really isn't all that cynical. not in the way that it could be. and the show believes in hank.

there is a lot of kindness and hope (often false hope) that runs underneath most every relationship and interaction and dynamic in the series and i really really appreciate that about it. it's like in the pilot when hank is being mean and he wants marcy to yell at him and she just says "go home, honey. sleep it off. tomorrow's another day."

there's always a little bit of understanding and grace amongst the crazies and i think there's something really special about that

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!

[hawkinslibrary]

[hannah-heartstrings]

It hurts losing time to grief or depression but sometimes you need to just process and feel things.

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

"He...he was."

For so much of her life, August Pace had been Susannah's whole world: She had some memories of her mother, true, but her death in a boating accident when her daughter was three years old had left those memories as being few and far between. Most of what she knew came to her second-hand, stories her father fondly recalled of their courtship, their marriage, and how happy they were to welcome their one and only child into their life.

But beyond these stories keeping the memory of her mother alive in her heart, August Pace was Susannah's one and only family member, and thus, was always by her side, loving and supporting and encouraging her every step of the way. They looked out for one another, they leaned on each other for comfort, they made each other laugh on hard days, they celebrated each other's victories, no matter how small...thus, it was so bizarre, to be on her own now. To be alone.

"He was the best father I could have ever had," she admitted with a small smile. "He was very...warm and gentle. He loved to garden and to cook; most every fruit or veggie we cooked with, he grew himself in our garden. He worked hard, in every job he had, he gave it his all, and even when he didn't get his due despite that, he didn't let it slow him down. He was kind and had a good sense of humor and...I miss him very dearly."

Quickly brushing away the little teardrops pricking the corners of her eyes (hoping Philippe wouldn't notice), Susannah then asked, "Wh-What about your parents? Wh-What are they like?"

[milksrot]

aubunny

[rossithepixie]

takes jjk polycule test and takes it twice and both results involve Gojo

One was satosugu and the other was nanago and yeah i guess it's predictable for me

[veggiecorner]

What are your thoughts on Age of Calamity Zelink!!?? I like that version a lot because champions are alive, and there's the longing and the added pressure on Link and his future if he decides to court Zelda

I'm gonna be honest I dont really think about it much. It's mostly cause 1) i haven't played Age of Calamity and 2) I just feel like...idk no matter how Nintendo sugar coats it Zelda and Link were NOTTT happy in that timeline. Yes they won, yes people are alive but idk!! Also I feel like AoC went against what BOTW established in terms of Zelda and Link's growth together so it was hard for me to really...get attached.

But AoC aside I used to think about a "what if they won, they're a little damaged but they won" scenario but it went EXACTLY how BOTW played out, instead of AoC's cutscenes. Then to me it has a good sense of longing. Zelda would have different motivations and ways to heal v.s. post-calamity Zelda. Hyrule Castle is messy but its still...there and so are many of the people. I feel that this version of Zelda would feel more motivated to rebuild the kingdom and take over her status of Queen (while post-calamity Zelda was like "nah actually. i'm not gonna re-establish a monarchy"). And Link...would still have that same closed off personality. Yeah he'd be more open to Zelda but he's still dealing with that anxiety of that social status given to him. Additionally he's unsure what he is now. He put away the master sword and now what?? who is he? Why doesn't he feel free from this burden? They won, right?

Overall I think theres definitely a different dynamic in their relationship, one that doesn't exist in post-calamity. Do they pursue it? Well its going to take a lot of time, and tbh more growth on Link's side.

Sorry for the long rant kJSBDAKSBJD I think i just lost the plot