#this isn’t everything I’m gonna keep talking about this until March probably

[lunajay33]

Lost Part.2

•🗝️🕊️🩶•

Summary: Carl Grimes was your best friend since birth, when he died the world turns grey, he was your partner in crime so you shut yourself off from the world, no one could get through, until one day you’re wondering Alexandria seeing Negan in his cell, maybe he could be the one to break you out of this hell

Pairing: Negan Smith x f!reader

Content: Age gap, Depressing themes, Consoling, Spicy themes later on, breeding kink, character development

Part.1

•Masterlist•

After Michonne caught me having a moment with Negan, she told Daryl and now they’re ripping me a new one, I’ve never felt like I disappointed anyone more but I can’t help how I feel towards Negan, I don’t get to chose how I feel

Daryl and Michonne are pacing back and forth in the living room in front of me as I’m sat on the couch waiting for their outburst

“Damn kid what the hell were ya thinking? Ya know what he’s done” Daryl groaned

“I’m going to chalk this up to you trying to distract yourself from Carls death but…..”

“DON’T!” I cut Michonne off feeling that rage

“Y/n…..”

“Don’t talk about him, and don’t tell me how to feel, you don’t understand how I feel, Negan does….he’s helping me, I don’t feel extremely depressed when I talk to him, I thought I’d get better eventually but it’s been 2 months, hell Maggie got herself together quicker than this after Glenn, I don’t know what’s wrong with me” I feel my bottom lip wobble again hating the disappointed look

“Why can’t you let us help? Daryl’s tried, do you want Maggie to come back maybe she could talk some sense into you, see the reason why she doesn’t have Glenn anymore” Michonne huffed before she stomped out the house slamming the door

“I don’t like ya talking to him but…….i can’t watch ya go through this anymore, if yer just talking to him and it helps do it, just be careful sunshine” Daryl said more gently as he rubs my back

“Thanks D, I’m just gonna go to my room” I say defeated but at least Daryl was sort of on board, thankfully Michonne never brought up what she caught me and Negan doing, if so Daryl would’ve probably marched down to his cell and beat him black and blue

It’s been a week since everything happened, the first day after I got up to go see him and right as I got to his cell Michonne dragged me back to the house, she wasn’t as keen as Daryl was, I tried again the next day and the same thing happened, see even got Rick involved so now I’m basically under house arrest, by the third day I could feel that darkness seep back in, I continued to stay in my room, Daryl would occasionally bring me food and water just like now

“Hey kid, ya hungry?” He asks as he sits on the edge of my bed with a sandwich and glass of water

I nod feeling too tired to even speak, this was way out of character for Michonne, sure she could be a hard ass but this…..this was too much

“They still won’t let ya leave?” My silence answered his question hearing him sigh

“It’s happening again isn’t it?”

“Yeah, Negan was helping for a bit, I can’t think of anything else except Carl when I’m locked up in here” I say looking at the letter that I have placed on the night stand, he followed my gaze taking it and reading it

“Ya can’t keep reminding yourself of this over and over”

“I….i didn’t even get to say goodbye”

“Would seeing his grave help?”

I didn’t even know he had a grave, no one even told me but maybe seeing it and talking could help resolve something that’s been missing

“I know this might be a long shot but could I take Negan? Would you be able to convince Rick just for the day to let him out?”

He watched me for a bit with that look I can never decipher what he’s thinking

“I’ll try but I ain’t promising nothing, now come on I’ll walk ya to the cell”

I ate my sandwich on the walk to Negan and of course when we got there Michonne and Rick tried to stop me

“I’m telling ya Rick let her go, ya haven’t seen what I seen, she needs this” as they are arguing I slip past them down to Negans cell

“Hey” I call catching his attention

“Long time no see darlin”

“I’m sorry, if you can hear them you’ll know they’ve been keeping me under house arrest, I tried to come see you but…”

“I know, I heard everytime Michonne tried to stop you, I missed our talks though, I can see you have too”

“I’ve been thinking about our conversation last time, it’s partially been keeping me sane all locked up”

“Can’t say it hasn’t crossed my mind baby, but you know I’d never use you right, I ain’t sick like that”

“I know, you’re different now hell I’m different now, I just wish you weren’t in this cell I’m working on it”

“What do you mean?”

“Daryl said I could go to Carls grave, I didn’t even know he had one until today, I asked if I could take you out for the day since I don’t feel judged with you, obviously only if you wanted, he said he’s gonna try to work something out”

“Oh sweetheart, you got a good heart but are you sure you want me out with you?”

“You don’t have to”

“No I want to, I wanna be there for you”

Just being here for a few moments have lifted that weight off my chest

Later that night everyone went to bed early and they left my door unlocked so I sneak out as quietly as possible, quickly making my way down the block to Negans cell and he was still wide awake, I unlock his cell and sit next to him his arms immediately wrapping around me

I sigh in relief to be able to touch him again, to feel his warmth, he moved me around so I’m partially laid against his chest and lap as he sat back against the brick wall playing with my fingers

“Have you tried anything since our conversation last week?” He asks breaking the silence my body feeling on fire instantly

“I still don’t know how”

“Want me to show you baby?” I look up at him feeling my legs tingle

“You’d do that?”

“I’d love it, you need to unwind, forget about your problems for a moment”

“Please, please help me forget” I whine feeling his hand rub up and down my thigh

“My pleasure” he smirks as he plays with the hem of my pants before pushing his hand fully down basically grasping my pussy

“Look at that baby girl, already wet and I’ve barely done anything” I can feel my face redden

“This is so embarrassing” I mumble hearing him laugh

“Nah baby, this is hot as hell, you’re being such a good girl” his praise eased me

His fingers circled my clit making me jolt it felt so foreign, everytime I’ve tried it’s felt like nothing but his strong hands touching me was so much more than I could imagine

“Oh god” I whine as he gets faster pushing me closer to the edge

“You like that angel? Do I make you feel good?” He teased as he grips my hair with his other hand

“Yes Negan! Oh it’s too much fuck” I gasp when he moves his hand down and enters a finger then another stretching me a bit with his big long fingers

“You okay darling?” He asks as he continues to finger me at a slow pace, doing a come here motion hitting a spot I’ve never felt before

“Woah, that feels…….oh god that feels different”

“Different good?” He goes a bit faster making me see stars as my head slumps against his chest

“So good, why does it feel better when you do it” I whine

“Cause I know how to please ya, this tight pussy just need a good man to clear your head, fix all your worries”

Something was building low in my stomach, it felt so weird but good but also like I was gonna lose control

“Negan wait I’m gonna…” but he kept going

“No baby it’s alright I’ve got you, let it go” his thumb came up to rub my clit again and I instantly let go feeling his hand wrap around my mouth as I let out a intense scream my sight going white, my pants felt soak as I came back down to earth laying limp in his arms

“Fuck baby, that was hot as fuck, you’re dripping” I sat up realizing what just happened, I look at him as he sucks his fingers clean making me hot all over again

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I told you something was happening now I made a mess and my pants are full of piss, I have to go” I turn to leave completely embarrased when I feel his arms wrap around me from behind

“Oh baby, you’re so damn cute, that’s normal and it’s so damn sexy, you just came all over my fingers and let me tell you, you taste like heaven” he whispers in my ear as I turn in his arms

“Are you sure this is normal…….it did feel really good couldn’t see for a second” he smirks gripping my hips

“If you think that was good baby, wait till I give you this dick, you’ll be begging for more after”

“Can we now?” I beg as I push him back on the bed straddling his hips

“As much as I’d love to destroy this pussy, I ain’t taking your virginity in some grimy cell where everyone can see and hear us”

“Okay, but what about you I can feel how hard you are, I can help” I say grinding down on him moaning as I feel his bulge rub against my sensitive clit

“Not tonight, tonight was about you”

“Well if I can’t help…..can I atleast see it?” I ask biting my finger aching to see his dick

“You ever see one before?” He asks laughing

“No please I wanna see it” I pull on his belt slowly undoing it waiting for him to stop me but he never does, unbuttoning his pants, we both stand so I can pull his pants down to his thighs, playing with the hem of his boxers

“Go ahead darling, he ain’t going to bite” he says gripping my hair, I pull them down seeing it smack against his stomach and my knees felt like jelly again, it was so big and thick it was mouth watering

“You like what you see”

“Can I touch it” I look up at him seeing his eyes were blown with lust

“Go ahead baby” I run my finger up the bottom till I reach the tip and circle it my finger wet with liquid, I bring it up and lick it and it tastes so good I want more hearing him groan as I do it

“Fuck you know what you just did?”

I shake my head I feel so clueless with all this

“God you’re going to be the death of me” I push him back down on the bed again and kneel between his legs

“Please I want more let me lick it”

“God how can I say no to that”

I lean down flicking my long over the tip tasting him again but I need more, I’ve heard others talk about blow jobs and this must be it, I take him in my mouth circling my tongue around hearing him hiss I look up but her looks like he’s enjoying it as he runs his hands through my hair

I take more of him in my mouth till he hits the back of my throat but I keep going till my nose is flush to his stomach moaning when I finally fit him in

“Jesus Christ baby” his moans drive me insane, I move my head up and down as his groans get more and more louder till I feel a warm liquid fill my mouth it’s surprises me, I lean back on my legs looking up at him with a mouth full of his cum, I swallow it feeling like ecstasy

“Was that your first time cause god damn woman I ain’t ever had my dick sucked like that”

“I want more, god Negan I could get addicted to this” he lets out a low laugh as he tucks his dick back in his boxers

“Oh baby what have I unleashed”

Part.3

Taglist: @lanadelnegan @lvrgirl6999 @aubiewabie33 @mordilwen-of-mirkwood @sweetbutpsychobutsweet @sadgenderfluidmaniac @aleemendoza2425-blog @donniedarkosblog @itsmytimetoodream @twisteduniverse5 @heidiland05 @negandevotee

[sunflowerharrington]

try

wc: 1617

written for the stwg prompt (23/2/24): dustin

warnings: the s3 russian storyline, mention of an almost-death (sort of canon but not really, i just wanted to add some angst because it’s not a real fic written by me if there isn’t any at this point)

left open ended because i’m thinking of writing a part 2 if anyone’s interested? i probably will anyway. low-key made myself cry lol and i just want stobin back together as best friends again

—————

Dustin hasn’t seen Robin around much lately apart from at school, and she won’t even look at him. It’s almost like she’s a stranger now after she started hanging around the popular group in school because Vickie’s boyfriend is on the basketball team apparently. He doesn’t bother going to the games because D&D is more fun, and the only reason he’d go is for Lucas and he’s usually on the bench even after his big win back in March.

What a waste of an amazing player.

It also feels like Steve would rather talk about anything but her. He even talks about his parents more than Robin now. His parents. Something must have happened between them for everything to start falling apart. Maybe there were cracks in their friendship nobody noticed until now. But they were perfect, the textbook definition of soulmates, but now it just feels like those souls were never meant to be friends to begin with and Dustin’s the one trying to pick up the pieces and save Robin and Steve’s friendship.

She’s only spoken to him on the phone once, and hasn’t been returning any of Steve’s calls. If he even makes them. Dustin’s never thought to check because he knows Steve won’t lie to him about something as little as a few phone calls. Or, attempts at a phone call, since Robin never picks up.

In the call she never said anything about Steve, not even an acknowledgement of his existence when Dustin tried to ask about what happened between them. She shrugged it off, made a quick excuse and hung up, leaving the end of the conversation to ring in his ears. She’s a completely different person now, so short with her answers and never wants to hear anything about the group anymore. It’s all about her and Vickie since they’re the bestest friends in the entire world apparently. But no, that was Steve and Robin!

Was.

Was…

He never knew where she lived until he asked Eddie to ask Chrissy to ask Vickie, and Vickie, bless her soul, gave Chrissy the address immediately. And Chrissy gave it to Dustin. So that’s where he is now, with one hand curled into a fist, ready to knock on Robin’s door. And he does, because there’s no point in him just standing there and doing nothing about it.

She almost slams the door in his face when she sees him, but he stops the door from shutting with his foot. And even though it hurts like hell, it has to be done. He has to get to the bottom of this before it’s too late.

“If this is about your friends—”

Your friends. Your friends. Not hers. His friends. It’s like she doesn’t even want to try to save anything.

“It’s not. It’s about you,” he says, trying to keep his tone as neutral as possible. He loves Robin, he does, but sometimes when she acts like this he wants to take Steve’s nail bat and take a swing at her with it. And it’s not about her, but if he says that he knows she’ll send him on his way and never speak to him again.

But one way or another he has to get them to talk. Why waste this opportunity when a friendship that was once so perfect can potentially be fixed?

“What about me?” She asks, and he can’t help but let the shock show on his face when she lets him in. Not just into her home, but she’s relaxed a little, which is the most surprising part. But not for long. “Make it quick, everyone’s gonna be here in ten minutes.”

As if “everyone” will show up on time. This is almost worse than her slamming the door in his face. She used to always have time for him, and for everyone, for that matter. And seeing the couch that looks almost untouched in the living room makes him question something. She said on the phone she has everyone over all the time and they hang out in the living room, but there’s almost nothing in there. The place looks empty. Almost as empty as the Byers’ old house and they don’t even live there anymore.

Is she lying to him?

“Okay, fine,” he snaps, and he can no longer hide his frustration. “What the hell happened to you? What’s wrong with you?”

“Excuse me?” She raises her eyebrows as she sits down next to him on the couch, still keeping her distance. There’s a wall between them. An invisible one at that, but it’s still there.

“Did your new ‘friends’…” he begins with air quotes. Maybe it’s a little bit dramatic but he couldn’t care less right now. “…make you hate all of us? You can’t have forgotten about us that easily, Robin. I mean, seriously, what the hell did they do to you?”

“Get out.”

“No, I’m not leaving. I need to know now. Why do you hate us?”

“I don’t hate any of you,” she says, but the sour look on her face says otherwise. However, she has a glass of apple juice on the side. Her ‘talking juice,’ Dustin calls it. Whenever she used to have it she’d never shut up. “I just can’t keep risking my life over and over and other new scarier things get thrown at me left and right and I just have no idea whether I’ll wake up after I fall asleep at night. I couldn’t do it anymore!”

Bingo. Apple juice strikes again.

“As soon as I became friends with you and… other people, I was thrown in the deep end and almost killed by Russians. Russians, Dustin! And I know you guys saved me but that was the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me and I didn’t know it could get worse. I almost had a person die in my arms for fuck sake!”

A person. She can’t even say Steve’s name anymore.

“But he didn’t die because you saved him. You did! Because you love him!” He raises his voice to match hers. “You told me nothing in this world could ever make you stop being friends with Steve, you promised me you’d be friends forever and you even made a blood pact! So what changed?”

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

“I…” She trails off, taking another sip of her juice. “Fine.”

He doesn’t say anything back to that. How can he? It’s not a question, not even a rhetorical one, so he sits in silence, waiting for her to continue. Even though he’s eyeing that pillow on the armchair and wants to suffocate her with it, he stops himself. Violence is not the answer to get people talking.

He learned that from the Russians.

“He loves Nancy.”

Wait so… She’s jealous? Is that really all this is? She’s jealous because Steve loves someone that isn’t her? Is it because he loves Nancy more than he loves Robin? And even after whatever happened between them, at least Steve still tried to keep in contact with Robin, so he does love her but not the way she wants him to. Maybe.

“And before you say anything, I’m not in love with Steve. Boys are gross.” Oh wow, she said his name. Well done. Dustin stops himself from rolling his eyes. He’s just about ready to leave, he wants to, but he’d rather fix this or at least find the reason why they fell out than just leave it.

“It’s my fault, sort of,” she continues. “I pushed him to get back with her or at least try. I wanted him to find someone, but then I found out about Nancy cheating on him a few years ago with Jonathan and then I realized she might cheat on Steve with someone else again and I got mad at him for listening to me. Did they get back together?”

“No,” Dustin says, looking at anything but her. “They almost did, but Steve said he couldn’t do that to Jonathan.”

“Oh… That’s… That’s good, I guess.”

“Yeah.” How did this get so awkward so fast. Think of something to say! For two people who can never ever stop talking, this is even worse than awkward. “I know you might say no, but…”

“Never start a sentence with that. It’ll make me want to say ‘no’ even more.”

“Shut up,” he says, his voice breaking into a chuckle, until he realizes they’re not friends anymore and mutters a quick apology. But what surprises him is Robin bursting out into laughter next to him.

“Okay, what is it?”

“Talk to him. Please. I’m not asking, I’m begging.”

“Can I tell you something?” Her head drops to her hands, before she curls her arms around her knees and brings them up to her chest, making herself small. After a small ‘yes’ from Dustin, she takes a deep breath. “Nobody’s coming over today. I only said that because I didn’t want to talk about Steve.”

“You know friends shouldn’t lie, right?”

“You know that’s a bunch of bullshit, right?” She says, almost mirroring him. “I lied to Steve all the time about little things.”

“Ha!” Dustin replies, smiling at a bewildered Robin. “You called Steve your friend!”

“I—”

“That means you have to talk to him now! I won’t accept ‘no’ for an answer.”

Robin sits in silence for a moment. “Fine. But only if you buy me more coffee. I’m running out.”

Why the hell would Robin need coffee? She’s a ball of energy as-is. He shrugs his shoulders. No point in saying no. The least they can do is try, after all.

“Done. I’ll get you two boxes.”

[randomsebs]

So all of this to say: she sucks. I’m over it. And the more we talk about her, the longer she’ll stay around. And the more we infantilize him, the more we run the risk of not only not being taken seriously for our point of view, but also him allowing her to stick around longer for spite. He is a Leo, after all, and a Leo will lean into the thing they’re being criticized for just to prove a point, even if it makes them miserable. And if it’s something that they know people are right about, they will lean into it even harder to feel as though they’ve “won.”

I 100% agree—Leos are definitely like that, and it seems his contract with her is renewed until February 2025. With the Academy Awards on March 3rd, it’s either his agency won’t renew the contract, and they’ll announce a breakup afterward, or they’ll extend it to 2026. If that happens, you might as well brace yourself for a fake marriage for PR. Hollywood PR relationships have a way of dragging on forever. 😒

I’m really worried about him. Sure, he’s 42 and not exactly a kid, but I can’t help but think his agency and agent are putting a lot of pressure on him. It’s so frustrating.

I’m probably not going to post on there anymore anyways because it is a lot to handle, along with receiving many threats from their crazy fans. But I do post on my stories, she never views them so I highly doubt she even knows it’s about herself anyways.

Please keep sharing updates, but maybe without tags? The death threats are ridiculous, and frankly, those people can shove them where the sun doesn’t shine. Maybe follow Spilltheteawithme’s lead—post without tags so only those who actually care will see it, and not A or her team.

Stay strong and keep up the good work! xoxo, M.

I don’t believe they’ll do a fake marriage, if they do than that’s ridiculous! Sebastian said in an interview : “Marriage isn’t a priority. I don’t really want that. I prefer having kids instead, kids are definitely a priority”, due to his childhood issues. So if that happens in 2026, I’m honestly gonna flip.

Plus I don’t think they’ll be endgame thank God, I think he’ll find some sort of strength and mental stability to put an end to it if it gets that bad (in the future), because honestly it looks like he’s slowly killing himself. It’s truly awful.

If he can’t put an end to it , even though we can clearly tell he doesn’t love her + after all the things she’s done, then that’s very displeasing. I’m not going to include tags anymore on my posts! However my Instagram account is only going to be posting stories and (occasionally) large paragraphs explaining her problematic behavior more in depth, until there’s no more to really say about it.

I like to put time into everything so it’ll be proof, factual proof, for people to look into and agree with me on! Thank you so much💗💗

[coreyseagersheartythighs]

ok now that i’ve gathered myself and don’t actively want to die as much here are some #DodgerThoughts

I’m putting this first so that y’all don’t have to read this entire thesis if u don’t want to but hey maybe the real prize wasn’t the world series championship but the friendships we made along the way :’-) shout out to the friends i’ve made through baseball (ik i don’t talk to all of u a ton but i consider u friends!)

so @kenleyjansen @checkontherep @kentamaeda @nikesandals @eliteqbalexsmith @alexwccd @kylekuzma @anthonyrizzos @joey-votto @warrenellisisland @sean-rodriguez @buckingfaseball @mitchhaniger @jonathanschoop i love y’all and i’m so glad to know have connected with u :’-) i’m sure this isn’t everyone cause I’m a dumbass but i love u all

ok now as for #BaseballThoughts first of all induct brandon morrow into the hall of fame immediately. he died for us and i love him

thank god the entire world finally got to see Richard Rich Dick Dickington The Rakeman Piss Hands Hill bat. god do i love that man

“dave roberts should be fired” is perhaps the worst take i’ve ever heard. he’s a SECOND YEAR manager who’s taken his teams to game 6 of the nlcs and game 7 of the World Series. you can’t manage your way around your pitching staff completely imploding and the heart of your lineup not being able to square up the ball or even make contact for the majority of the series

Corey suddenly not being able to lay off That Pitch was fucking weird. i don’t remember him struggling with pitch selection like this ever in the regular season. i have to assume that either the pressure of the series got to him (he’s a little iffy in big spots a lot of the time bless his little heart) or that all the time he missed at the end of the year and through the nlcs messed him up.

Cody looked tired. understandable cause he’s just a baby. really sad that this is how the year ends for him and that this is what the general public is gonna think about him until he proves them wrong on a big stage next year

Don’t know what the fuck happened to turner so if anyone can explain that i’d appreciate it

also basically the whole offense not being able to hit fastballs in the middle of the zone? that was fucked up. why are u fouling that pitch off assholes

so so sad for yu. obv in hindsight he shouldn’t have started but i understand Dave’s reasoning. I️ really do hope they can resign him to a reasonable contract and they can fix the pitch tipping cause he should get another chance to do better with this team

i love alex wood. I’m so proud of him

also yasiel puig. obviously things didn’t go as well in this series but he made most of this postseason SO fun and i am so so proud of everything he’s done

sorry this is getting so emo but oh my god do i love Clayton Kershaw. my heart truly breaks for him. he deserves a championship more than anyone in the game and instead all he has is this shitty fucking playoff narrative. idk about y’all and ik it probably sounds ridiculous because his numbers were incredible and he’s very much in cy young contention but i felt something was off with him pretty much all year, just really sad that it ended like this. here’s to hoping that he’s in good health next year and gets the slider back and shakes the stupid narrative for once and for all

austin barnes? the best catcher in baseball. buster posey whom? yasmani grandal is literally dead, may he Rest In Peace

Christopher Armand Taylor Jr. is an ICON and a HERO and a STAR and a GIFT. like literally a gift shoutout to the mariners i mean what the fuck but thanks so much. also noah fence but shout out to ME for believing in christ taylord when no one else did

some of this is my bias i’m sure but i’m SO disappointed with the way this series was broadcast. i wanted everyone to know how magical and beautiful and heartbreaking and record setting this season has been for the dodgers but approximately zero of that was mentioned. also would have liked to see the “the dodgers bought their way here” narrative addressed cause how are u suppose to know that that’s factually inaccurate and stupid if all the broadcasters talk about is the other team’s underdog narrative.

there’s no reason to think that we won’t be back here next year! there’s so much to look forward! surely some wild fuckin offseason moves, a full season of Cody Bellinger and Chris Taylor and Austin Barnes as the starting catcher (I️ assume?) , walker buehler starting major league baseball games, verdugo probably, joc’s continued progress, hopefully our dear sweet julio coming back in the second half, Corey seager continuing to be the best young shortstop in baseball, Clayton Kershaw continuing to be the best pitcher on earth, kenley continuing to be the best closer in the game, etc.

Carlos Correa is literally a toddler why is he engaged

a good 25% of my posts are about this but i can’t go 30 seconds without mentioning it so i would just like to remind u all that Corey seager is SO BEAUTIFUL and an ABSOLUTE DREAMBOAT and i love his HEARTY THIGHS

it’s possible that I’m just being more critical cause of the intense nature of these games but holy shit some of the strike zone calling in this series was awful!! I mean shockingly stunningly bad! and not even in a “bad strike calls hurt my team” way cause the calls affected both teams negatively and positively (except for game 5 but let’s not talk about that) but holy god there were some aggregious calls in this series. Rob Manfred do something right for once in ur life and implement the robot strike zone cause u can’t have huge games like this being affected by stupid subjectivity like this

the gurriel thing really put a damper on this whole series imo. suspending him for next year does absolutely nothing other than say “if you’re gonna do something racist, do it in the World Series”. suspending and fining him for one WS game would have actually meant something and probably wouldn’t have affected the outcome of the series based on how we played game 7. fuck Rob Manfred

I’ve never been much of a Juiced Balls Believer but holy shit this series raised some questions. I mean what the fuck. All i have to say is what the fuck

starting a gofundme campaign to get me seats right behind the dodger dugout for opening day next year so i can yell at Corey to get a helmet that will stay on his GODDAMN HEAD

@ dodgers front office please go get otani. please. please. please. please. please

if u read this entire thing 1) congrats that’s some resolve u have there and 2) thanks love u

sorry this is incredibly all over the place and disjointed but just wanted to get everything out there so i can grieve with a clear mind thanks for coming to my ted talk

[wizkiddx]

hiiiii !!! if you are accepting requests at the moment, can i ask something about reader and tom expecting a baby, one day while he’s drunk she sees him flirting with another women and when she confronts him he snaps at her and tells her he’s not ready for this “shit”. So they broke up and broke contact for months, until he shows in her apartment regretting his words and they talk but she suddenly at that moment gets into labor?!? I remember seeing a concept similar in a movie but I would love if you couldn’t bring it to life! Thank you so much in advance, appreciate your work a lot 🧸🤎

right so I loved this so much it has become a multiple parter and im not even going to apologise. so thanku so so much anon for getting me out a little rut!!!

summary: when toms caught out all hope looks lost - probs part 1 of 3 but it could get a bit longer too lol

warnings: serious angst, reference to abortion, cheating, a whole lot of swearing (im British sorry not sorry)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hi babe, just to let you know Yamna’s invited me out for dinner this evening so don’t worry if you get home early and im not back! I love you x”

It was a spur of the moment plan, which was a rarity recently. The past 5 months since you’d found out, you could name barely 5 occasions you’d been out past 8 oclock- trading your heels for fuzzy slippers and dresses for massively oversized tops and joggers. It wasn’t how you had expected to be spending the summer before your 25th birthday but it was now your life. The rooftop bars, the wild nights, the get aways had all sort of been cancelled for… for the rest of your life.

Because an 8 month pregnant belly isn’t something you can ignore.

Sure…. it wasn’t the plan. Not the plan to be pregnant with your boyfriend of only 6 months, who at the time you didn’t even live with. But you were making it work. And now, you were just excited. It was the start of a new story with Tom, and you’d got past the phase of being sad and mourning your youth. Because the little bubba inside of you, she was pretty awesome and you really couldn’t wait to meet her.

So yes, you had been home alone eating ice cream from a tub when Yamna knocked on the door. She’d been one of your best mates for as long as you could remember so when she’d turned up unannounced with mascara smeared under her eyes you’d cancelled your plans of a pathetic alone evening. Her boss had just given her the sack - which was no surprise. He was a backwards tory old git who couldn’t handle the fact Yamna was a woman doing the job better than he could ever dream of.

So yes, you’d suggested going out to the fancy new bar down the road - to celebrate the fact she no longer had to put up with the arsehole. Obviously you couldn’t drink and neither did Yamna, but you go to a bar for the atmosphere - and the selection of mocktails they had was insane.

Your boyfriend Tom was already out, he said he had a meeting and then dinner with some execs he needed to shmoosh. Of course you didn’t mind, but he had been working a lot recently, in order to be able to have the time off when your baby girl arrives.

So after sending a little text and giving Yamna another hug to try and turn the evening from disappointment to celebration you walked out the door with a smile on your face. Maybe you could pretend, just for an evening to not be pregnant and whale-like?

///////////////////////////

The bar was just a 10 minute walk so it wasn’t long before the two of you were soaking up the atmosphere. It was all decorated in a rustic fashion, with old exposed wood and dangling lightbulbs from the ceiling and the drinks were incredible. The type that have dry ice or flames or some other sort of fantastical display of edible decorations. Even Yamna had perked up, especially when a guy from the table across had bought you both a round of drinks.

“I’m just gonna pop to the loo.”

“Do you really need the toilet or do you just want to parade infornt of the fit rich man who keeps looking at you?”

“ Is both an option?” You laughed as Yamna slipped off her stool, winking rather dramatically as she did so. She was unbelievable - but at least this way she wasn’t thinking about her work, or lack thereof, anymore.

Happily you sat scrolling though your phone, seeing that tom had messaged you with an okay, before flicking through instagram.

And that was where the happiness ended.

For in a hurried manner, with a face looking a lot more ghosted than when she left, Yamna took her seat again.

“Are you okay?” Immediately your worry took over, the way she was biting her lip and not meeting your eyes not helping.

“I um yeh-yeh. Just I think I saw Tom.”

“Tom as in my Tom?” Her almost guilty looking nod had your scrunching your eyebrows, why was it such a big deal Tom was inside?

“He didn’t see me I don’t think but er… he just looked pretty close to a girl and I-“

To be honest you stopped listening at that point, heart dropping out the bottom of your chest. Because it made sense, he had been so distant recently and even if you’d been lying to yourself that it were work - this seemed much more likely. Whilst nodding along, pretending to listen to Yamna, instead your attention was solely focused on fiddling with the promise ring he’d got you after the two of you decided to keep the baby. He’d been so committed, so ready for this unexpected news. He’d said he was in for the long haul.

“Y/n?”

“sorry I um… it’s probably just a work colleague he needs to sweet talk. I’ll um-I’ll just go say hello.”

“I’m coming with you.” She spoke astutely, very much forcing herself into the situation.

“No no I’ll… I’ll come back if I need you, just wait here.”

Her face was so grim and destitute, as much as you were pretending it was okay - you knew it wasn’t. Before Yamna could protest further, you slipped off your seat ( clumsily thanks to the elephant belly) and walked with fake confidence back inside.

It took you barely 3 seconds to hone in on Tom, call it mothers intuition. He was on a booth in the corner with 5 others on his table but none of whom you recognised. It was 2 other guys and 3 girls - the six all paired off in mathcingly initimate conversations. Apart from that you payed almost zero attention to the others, attention solely focused on your boyfriend and the girl he had his arm round.

She was everything you weren’t. She was skinny - you, as previously mentioned, looked like you had a beachball stuffed under your top. She was blonde with sleek and perfectly styled waves at the tips of her long her - yours was thrown into a messy bun due to the last minute plans.

Most importantly - right now she was wrapped in Toms arms, whilst you stood alone watching.

God knows what came over you, but with confidence you never normally had you marched up to the table, just waiting at the end. One of the men you didn’t recognised, arrogantly asked you ‘can I help you’ - but you completely disregarded it, eyes solely fixed on Tom. He took a moment more to look away from the leggy girl, but as soon as he did his eyes grew massively wide.

“Y/n I-I-“

“Fancy bumping into you, I thought you were out with work executives?” Frantically casting his gaze across the table, you could see the cogs whirring to try and come up with an explanation.

“No I-I was but then Charlie here came over, we used to be mates at school and-“

“Oh fuck off Tom., I cant deal with this right now.”

You didn’t even have the energy to listen to his clearly fake excuses as to why he’d landed himself in that situation. You also certainly did not have it in you to maintain the strong face, you could feel everything shattering inside of you.

Because it was so blindingly obvious by how he had acted. You’d caught him out and you both knew it.

And it fucking hurt like hell.

So you exited the bar as fast as physically possible, hearing the shouts of both Yamna and Tom behind you. You didn’t know what you needed in that moment - except that neither of them were the answer. Tom though, presumably the faster of the two, managed to catch up - grabbing your arm to make you halt in the road.

There was this moment between the two of you that time almost seemed to freeze. The two of you, in an otherwise pretty empty residential street, at 9:30 at night, in a moment that you would never have again. From your point of view, you saw the slightly bloodshot and bleary eyes, widened with panic and fear. For Tom he saw the floods of tears down your cheeks, which you hadn’t even noticed were freely streaming.

But in that moment there was, at least, the slightest bit of peace. The slightest bit of hope - that he could explain, that he had some ludicrous but valid reason for the situation you had walked in on. Just a smidgen of hope that this were recoverable.

But then he had to open his bloody mouth.

“Y/n I swear nothing-“

“That didn’t look like fucking nothing!”

“It was I swear! We just-“

“Tom this is your one and only chance. I don’t care if your off your face, if you don’t give my a miracle of a reason as to what the fuck THAT was - then I’m gone.”

“Don’t say that Y/n, you don’t mean th-“ He tried to grab your hand which you snatched away, like you had just scalded it on a hot plate. Like he had hurt you.

“I swear to god I’ve never meant anything more. So cut the shit.”

“FIne-fine! Um so we were at the meeting and then on the way out I bumped into George and hes been a good mate of mine for years.” All you did was hum, arms crossed and making sure you had a metre of distance between the two of you.

“So he said god you look like you need a drink and I agreed because its been stressful as hell recently.”

“Oh its been stressful; for YOU has it? I’m so sorry Thomas, has it been hard for you while i’ve been throwing my lungs up with morning sickness? Has it been stressful that I’ve been running on zero hours sleep because she kicks me all bloody night? ” Your words were laced in a posioned sarcasm, to which Tom just stammered to.

“Please just let me.” Given he was supposed to be fighting for you, he sounded pretty darn defeated already.

“I said yes to the drink.” He skipped out the bit that had angered you, to which you rolled your eyes at. “And one turned into two and more and then I don’t know-“

“Your going to have to try a lot harder than that.” You deadpanned, taking a small step further back still.

“I mean it! The girls were all his friends and we were just talking.”

“Just talking? All pressed up and arms round her?”

“Yes!” As indignant as he retorted, it didn’t not make up for what you had seen with your own eyes.

“Your such a bullshitter Tom!”

“God why wont you just listen to me?” He cried, wobbly doing a little 360 on the spot, in what appeared to be exasperation.

“Because your just spouting fucking lies! And you try and blame it all on poor little tommo being stressed which is-“

“I HAVE BEEN! Running round after you! I’m just tired of this shit!!! So kill me, for having one night of freedom!”

Tom was too deep in his angry lecture to take any notice of you. Which is why, once finished, he waitied, breath heavy and nose flaring. He was waiting for you to scream back at him. To give it back. He was too drunk to notice the change in your demeanor.

“I’m tired of this shit.”

It was just reverberating round your head. Again and again and again. He was tired of your relationship and you hadn’t even become parents yet. He was at his wits-end and the baby was still unborn. What the fuck was going to happen when baby arrived? Clearly there was no hope. It was dead. Your relationship was dead with no chance of revival.

Because he’d said it. Your relationship was shit, and nobody can put up with something they hate for that long. Not 18 years. Not while bringing up a child.

So with a new sense of dread and fear and complete and total isolation you uttered three single words before hysterically running away.

“Don’t follow me.”

Not now, not ever.

?to be continued?

~~~~~~~~~~gahhhh I hope u enjoyed! I also REALLY CANNOT THINK OF A NAME FOR THIS MINISERIES --> if anyone can think of something pls inbox me!!! ~~~~~~~~

tom taglist: @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08 @prancerrparkerr @wildxwidow @Elishi03 @arctic-monkcys @Ownbauer13 @tomhollandlol

[connordavidscamera]

The (Not So) Good Ol’ Days | Connor Brashier

A/n: This chapter has literally been ready since March and I keep forgetting to post it when I come on here, but anyway, here it is after a very long wait. So sorry about that.

Summary: After Connor’s ex shows up randomly, y/n starts having doubts about her relationship with Connor, but they boys are there to reassure her.

Warnings: angst, obviously. It’s not me if it’s not angsty

Word count: 6.8k

***

I think I’ve stopped breathing. Because I’m standing here watching the only man I’ve ever loved stand in front of the only other girl in the world that has had him the same way I have. I’m suddenly back in high school, watching from the sidelines as Connor loves and cares for another girl in a way I had only wished he would love and care for me. 

The first couple of weeks were hard. It was difficult to figure out what I could and couldn’t do anymore now that Connor had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who isn’t me. Things between Connor and I didn’t fully change immediately. It was gradual, and to anyone else it probably wasn’t even noticeable, but for me it was. It started with a side hug when he slid into the seat next to me. Then a nudge, then nothing but a “hey.” Then it became a thing where he had me scoot over so McKenzie could sit with us. Then they started to get to our seat before me, causing me to have to sit in front of them.

I’d sit there and have to watch them hold hands over the table, and kiss. I’d have to watch him move her hair out of her face, and her play with the tufts of hair on the back of his neck. I’d watch her laugh at everything he said, and him hold onto every word she said. It was torture, but I was learning to live with it. That is until she approached me one day before class.

It was very much a coming of age, teen rom-com movie moment. I was in the bathroom, washing my hands when she came in. I forced a smile, same as I always did when I saw her. She did the same. 

“Y/n, just the person I wanted to see. I was hoping you’d be here.”

“McKenzie,” I nod. “What can I do for you?”

She looks into the mirror, adjusting her ponytail so it sits higher on the top of her head. “Well, I’m glad you asked. I want you to stop hanging out with Connor.”

“Excuse me?” I turn off the water, facing her, but reaching for a paper towel. 

“I want you to stop hanging out with him. I don’t know what your relationship is or was before I came along, but I don’t like it. I don’t like how close you two are.”

“Um, he’s my best friend.”

“Mhm, and I know you like him.”

“Uh, McKenzie, I don’t know where you heard that, but-”

“Oh, it’s obvious, don’t play dumb. Everyone knows you have a thing for him, except for him and it’s going to stay that way because I’m his girlfriend now, not you. So that hanging out alone that you used to do, isn’t gonna happen anymore. If all four of you are together, expect me there too. And don’t even think about sitting next to Connor when you do go out together.”

“Does Connor know that you’re in here telling me this? Because I don’t think he’d be okay with it.”

She rolls her eyes, “Oh, I’ll be telling him the same thing. Don’t worry about that.”

I toss the paper towels in the trash and look at her, my arms folded over my chest. “I’m sorry, and what are you getting out of this? Like what is your end result?”

“To have you out of the picture,” she says matter-of-factly.

“Okay, but… he and I have the same friends. And we have for years. I highly doubt that he’s gonna let some girl that he’s only been dating  for three weeks come in here and disrupt his life like that.”

“Connor does whatever I want him to do. And if I tell him that I don’t want you around, he’s going to make it happen.”

“But-”

“Look, I don’t have time to explain this more. Just stay away from Connor, okay? That’s it.”

I don’t respond, but she takes that as one. 

“Okay, perfect. Well, I’ll see you in class. I’m so glad we were able to have this talk.”

I watch her leave the bathroom, but I don’t leave. I lean back against the bathroom sink and take in everything she just said. Surely Connor wouldn’t go for this. I mean, we’ve been friends forever. He wouldn’t just cast me to the side because he has a girlfriend. 

But… isn’t that what he’s doing now? Pushing me to the side to make room for her.

“What are you doing here?” Connor asks. “Last I heard, you’d moved to Arizona.”

McKenzie nods, smiling that same perfectly straight, shimmering smile that she always did in high school. It’s crazy how some things never change. Like the look she’s giving him - I don’t know how a look can convey possession, but hers does. Hers says that she still has him. That he’s still her “Connor Bug” despite them having broken up over three years ago. 

“Yeah, I did. I’m going to school there, but my friend, Cammy - you remember Cammy, right? She goes to school here, so I thought I’d come visit for a little while. I didn’t realize you go here, too.” She looks over to where Shawn and Brian are - which just happens to be who I’m currently hiding behind. 

“Shawn, Brian! It’s so good to see you guys again!”

They both nod in acknowledgement. “Hey,” they say.

Brian reaches behind him and finds my hand, squeezing it reassuringly, telling me just what I need to hear - they’ve got me. They always do.

Friday nights look a little different now. For the past three weeks, I have opted out of my usual Friday night plans with the boys. It’s been pretty much the same since middle school. We go to the diner down the street from the school (they have the best milkshakes in the state, you can’t convince me otherwise), and then we either go watch a really bad movie - or rent one  - or we go to the park and we play on the playground until it gets dark. After that we grab pizza or chinese food and head to whoever’s house we feel like crashing at that night. Our parents are well versed in our plans, so it was no surprise that mine questioned me when I said I wasn’t going that first week. 

Shawn and Brian did too, but all I had to say was that I was having really bad period cramps and they were done with the conversation. Connor didn’t even ask why I didn’t go - I actually doubt he noticed with how intune he is with McKenzie. (And by intune I mean they’re practically swallowing each other anytime I’m around, so if they even came up long enough for air, I know he didn’t notice.)

The second week, Shawn and Brian gave me a sympathetic look. I think Shawn was starting to understand why I wasn’t going at that point, given the fact that I had also started opting out of eating lunch with them. I told them that I was tutoring, but really I was sitting in the far corner of the library, reading, hoping they wouldn’t come looking for me. Thankfully they didn’t. At least not during the day.

I’m sitting in my room, curled under my blankets, just hoping that sleep will take over so that I don’t have to address for the third time this month why I'm not going out with the guys today. However, about forty minutes into cowering under the blankets, my bedroom door opens. The lack of knocking tells me exactly who it is.

“Alright, sit up. We’re watching movies.”

“What?” I peek out from under the covers to see Shawn and Brian sitting on the edge of my bed. They have pizza and movies in their hands, as well as all of our favorite junk food. “What are you guys doing here?”

“I told you,” Shawn says, setting the pizza box beside me before taking off his shoes to put near the door. “We’re watching movies.”

“Yeah, but aren’t you guys supposed to be at the diner?”  I sit up, making room for them on the bed. 

“If you’re not there then we don’t want to be either.”

“But…”  I shake my head. I know that it’s better to just go with it than to argue with them. “Is Connor coming?”

They share a look between each other and Brian shakes his head. “No. Not tonight. Shawn and I thought it would be fun to have it be just the three of us tonight. For old time’s sake.”

I nod once, “Oh, right. Sure. That’s good.” I clear my throat and scoot back on the bed, “Well then let’s put in a movie. What are we watching?”

McKenzie looks between them, making eye contact with me, and that smile that she has for everyone else changes. It’s now tight-lipped and forced, fake. “Y/n. I see you’re still hanging around my Connor Bug, huh?”

“I’m not your Connor Bug, Kenz.”

Kenz. The nickname rolls off his tongue so easily and I hate it.

She shrugs, ignoring Connor’s comment. “Why are you hiding? You’re not happy to see me?” She frowns. “Well that hurts my feelings.”

She’s challenging me. It’s what she’s always done. It’s how she got me to stop hanging around Connor alone - or at all for a period of time. But I’m not the same person I was back then. I wouldn’t stick up for myself then, but I sure the hell would now. 

I hum and squeeze Brian’s hand before making my way between him and Shawn. “Well to hurt feelings, you have to have them, don’t you, McKenzie?”

Shawn sucks in a breath beside me.

She chuckles softly. “Oh, come on. We can put all of that petty stuff behind us, right? It’s been years.”

“You’re right,” I nod. “It has been. So you know it’s been three years since you and Connor broke up, right?”

“I’m aware,” she nods, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Good,” I nod too, mimicking her stance. “So then you also know that a lot can change in that time, right?”

“I guess so. What are we doing? Playing twenty questions?”

“Well you were always one for games.” I take a step forward, arms still crossed. I will not back down.  I will not let her ruin what I have worked so hard to build. “So let me ask you something then. If it’s been three years, what makes you think he’s still single?”

“Are you telling me he isn’t?”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you. He and I are together now, in case you were wondering.”

She stares daggers at me and then at Connor. "You're joking."

Connor shakes his head. "Nope. Four months."

"Oh!" She laughs. "So it's not serious then."

"We also live together," I tell her. "Although whether or not we were dating for four months, four weeks, four days, that shouldn't really matter." I make my way back over to Connor, who puts his arm around my waist instinctively. "We’re together and I'd appreciate it if you didn’t try to flirt with my boyfriend."

"Well it looks like things really have changed, huh?"

"Yeah, but you haven’t."

"You know it's not gonna last, right? You're just a fluke. He needs to get it out of his syst-"

"Enough, McKenzie! Fuck, just stop!" Connor exclaims. "Look, I'm sorry I ended things the way I did in high school, but we weren't right for each other. You were horrible to my friends, you manipulated me into hurting the most important person in the world to me. You just wanted to boss me around. Sure there were some good moments, but those didn't outweigh all the hurt and pain you caused. Now you can be mad or jealous or whatever the fuck it is that you are right now, but it doesn't change anything. I'm with y/n. I'm in love with y/n, and we're happy, so just leave us alone."

She stands there, speechless. I’ve never seen her speechless before and I like it. But it doesn't last long. She plasters on the smile reserved just for me and nods. “Okay. Well, just so you know,” she says, but she’s only saying it to me, despite our group of friends around us, “whatever you two do in bed together, he learned from doing it with me. If it’s the best head you’ve ever received, I taught him everything he knows. Have a good night.” She pushes past us and I chuckle, turning in Connor’s arm to lunge at her, but he quickly pulls me back.

“Let go of me, I’m gonna rip out those ugly extensions,” I seeth, still reaching for her as Connor and now Shawn and Brian are practically dragging me to the car. 

“While we would love to see it, that’s not gonna happen,” Brian says, opening the passenger side door.

“Fine, then let me break her nose. Give her an excuse to get that nose job she was always whining about.”

Shawn laughs from beside me as he bends down to grab me from behind my thighs and shove me in his Jeep, despite me still resisting. Connor’s walking to the other side of the car to turn it on. “Well that’s very thoughtful of you,” Shawn says, biting back another laugh. “But we’re gonna hold off on that.”

I’ve just now realized that Alessia and Liv are still with us, following us to the car, getting a front row seat to my crazy. They weren’t around when Connor and McKenzie dated, and for the most part, they knew little to nothing about the relationship. All they knew was what I had written in the songs I wrote with Shawn, and even then it was only about how I was feeling, and less so about her and their relationship. 

I scoff and fall back against the seat, my head thrown back in frustration. Shawn pulls at the seatbelt and Connor takes it from him to buckle me in. “I can buckle my own seatbelt,” I grumble.

Connor smooths my hair back, “I know you can, baby. We just want to help.”

“Then get me out of here.”

“Okay,” he nods. “Shawn, can I take your-”

“No,” I shake my head. “I want Shawn to drive.”

“What?”

I take in a deep breath and shut my eyes tight. “Bub, I love you. But right now if I look at you, I’ll see her and I’ll end up being upset with you. I don’t want to be upset with you, so just, please.”

He sighs, “Okay. I’ll ride back with Brian.” He shifts and kisses my temple gently. “I love you,” he says quietly.

“I love you,” I say back.

—

“Hey, Shawn?” I say quietly after we’ve been sitting in silence for the first five minutes of the drive.

“Yeah?”

“Do you know what prompted their breakup? Like why he suddenly went from being so in love with her to not wanting anything to do with her in the span of like two days.”

He sighs, “Y/n, I don’t think this is a good conversation to have with me.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t speak for him. I know, from my perspective, what happened, but I don’t know what he was thinking at the time.”

“Well, then from your perspective, what happened?”

He turns on his signal light, merging lanes. “I know that Brian had to talk to him about how McKenzie was treating you.”

“Brian talked to him about that?”

Shawn nods, “Yeah. Connor came up to us about a month after you, me, and him started hanging out by ourselves. Asked him what the deal was. Why we weren’t inviting him out anymore, why we didn’t sit with him and her at lunch, why you would barely even look at him anymore. I don’t remember exactly what Brian said because obviously it was years ago. But it was something along the lines of how she treated you like trash and we were tired of sitting around and letting it happen, so we decided to just distance ourselves. If he wanted to hang out with us, he still could, but he had to do so without her.

“And, I mean, you know what happened after that. They broke up like a month later, right, and things were back to normal. As they should have been.”

“Normal is a relative term.”

He chuckles, “Okay, yeah. It took a while there, but you guys worked through it, and you’re here now. So just think about that. After all of that, you’re here now. You’re together. You’re in love. All is right in the world.”

“Why didn’t y’all ever tell me that y’all talked to him about what was happening?”

Shawn sighs, “I guess we didn’t want to hurt you even more. You were already in a world of pain at the time, and we knew bringing him up would only make it worse. Hell, we were scared to even let him start hanging out with us again because we didn’t want you to freak out and leave.”

I look down at my hands, “It was a really bad time, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It was. Brian and I hated seeing you in so much pain. We hated that we couldn’t do anything about it. No matter how much we really wanted to, we couldn’t fill that Connor-shaped hole in your life.”

“But you tried,”  I reach for his hand, squeezing it three times. “I never told you guys thank you for that.”

“There was no need to. We just wanted to be there for you.”

Connor leaves me alone for the most part when we get home. Well, all the guys do. They know I need a moment to process everything that just happened. You know like the fact that Connor just told me he loved me for the first time, and wrote a song about me, and then his fucking ex-girlfriend just showed up out of nowhere and ruined the whole night. I’m sitting on my bed, my knees pulled up to my chest as I stare at the photos on my wall. I still haven’t changed out of my clothes yet. 

A knock sounds from my door and it opens before I can tell them to come in. It’s Brian.

“Hey,” he says softly. “Just came to check on you. You alright?”

I shrug, but usher him in. “Sit down with me?”

He nods and steps in, closing the door behind him. “What’s up?”

“When we were in the car, Shawn told me that you had a conversation with Connor before he and McKenzie broke up. About me. And the way she treated me.”

Brian sucks in a breath but nods anyway. “Yeah, I did.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

He sighs, “Y/n, I don’t-”

“Please?”

He relents, “Okay. Well Shawn and I were at my locker, I don’t remember what we were talking about. Doesn’t really matter, I guess. He just showed up like he would any other day, except this time he was mad.”

“Yo, what the actual fuck?”

“Excuse me?” Brian rears back.

“Like, what? Are you kicking me out of the group or something? You’re barely talking to me, Shawn’s always busy when I ask to hang out, and y/n hasn’t even looked at me in weeks.”

Brian and Shawn share a knowing look, and Shawn shrugs. “We’d invite you if we knew it was just you.”

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means we aren’t the biggest fans of your girlfriend,” he shrugs. “And you can’t tell us that it’s because we don’t know her. We know enough. We know her and we don’t like her. So, if you want to hang out, great, but don’t bring her with you.”

Connor scoffs, “She’s my girlfriend, Brian. I want to spend time with her.”

“And that’s great. You can totally do that, and you should. But don’t make us spend our time with her when it’s just supposed to be us four. We’re not dating her, we’re not asking for her. We’re asking for you.”

“I don’t get why you don’t like her? Like what’s the big deal?”

Brian shakes his head, “The big deal, Connor? She’s a bitch. And you can be mad at me for saying that, but holy fuck. Do you see the way she is with y/n? She’s so rude to her, it’s not even funny, but you go blind or deaf when she’s around. I mean, the last time we all hung out, y/n left almost in fucking tears and you didn’t do anything about it like you normally would. Your girlfriend hates your best friend.”

“That’s not true.”

“Not me, not Shawn. Y/n. Everyone knows that you two are best friends, but you’ve totally dropped her since McKenzie came around. I mean, you make your own decisions, that’s cool. But you can’t force that relationship on me and Shawn. We know where our priorities lie, and we know who’s important, and that’s y/n. She’s one of the most important people in our lives, and she used to be the most important person to you. But it’s clear that things have changed. It was just the three of us before and if it has to be that way now, then I guess that’s how it is. We’ll pick her every time. I guess the question is, will you?”

Brian shrugs, “He chose you. It just took him a while.”

I sigh and rest my head on his shoulder. “I hate that I made you choose.”

Brian sighs and takes my hand, “You didn’t. We did that on our own. You’re important to us and you were hurt by the one person you thought would never hurt you. The one person we thought would never hurt you. There’s no chance we weren’t gonna be on your side.”

“Y’all are always protecting me.”

“It’s our job, hon. Now, I think you need to go talk to Connor. He’s been pacing since we got back, he’s creating a draft,” he jokes. 

I shake my head with a soft laugh, “I thought it was a little chilly.”

He squeezes the back of my hand, “There’s our girl. You want me to call him in?”

“No, I want to change first. I’ll go talk to him in a minute.”

“Promise?” He holds his pinky finger out.

I lock our fingers, “I promise.”

“Okay,” he presses a kiss to the top of my head and stands up.

I wait a couple minutes after he leaves the room before I’m able to pull myself up and change into my pajamas. I find one of Connor’s softest shirts in my drawer and throw it on with a pair of shorts that I find thrown in there. I go to the bathroom to take off my makeup before going to Connor’s room.

He’s sitting at the edge of his bed, biting his nails and shaking his leg with all the lights off except for the lamp by his bed. I sigh and knock on the open door. “Hey, can I come in?”

He looks up at me with wide eyes, “Pretty girl,” he sighs. “C’mere,” he motions me in with both arms and stands up. I’ve barely made it two steps in before he’s wrapping me in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know she was gonna be there, I promise. I would never do anything to jeopardize what we have. You are the most important person to me and I-”

“Shh,” I shush into his neck. “I know. I know, baby. Just calm down. You don’t have to apologize. Let’s just go to bed, okay?”

“Are you sure?”

I nod, “It’s been a long night. Let’s sleep it off. Is that okay?” I ask, threading my fingers through his hair.

“Yeah,” he nods. “That’s good. C’mon. Come lay on me.” He kicks his door shut and then walks us back to his bed where he falls down first, allowing me to lay beside him. We shuffle until we’re at the top of the bed, sliding under the covers. He pulls me to his chest and we just stay like this until sleep finally takes over. I wish it didn’t. 

We’re sitting at the beach, all four of us, because it’s been that way again for the past few weeks. Connor broke up with McKenzie, and since then he’s started hanging out with us again. The boys asked me if it was okay, first, but I couldn’t say no. I missed him. I wanted him back too. However, it’s very clear that things aren’t the same. 

Despite him apologizing to me and us hanging out alone for the first time in almost seven months, I couldn’t make it seem like everything was just perfect because it wasn’t. Yes, he was back, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still hurt by what happened. 

So, if this was any other time than now, I would be burrowing into his hoodie instead of Shawn’s. I would be resting my head on his shoulder instead of Brian’s. I would be leaning into him and I wouldn’t think twice about it. But now, I feel like I have to think eight times about everything that I do around him. 

He’s peering at me now, but he won’t say anything. He doesn’t say much at all the rest of the time we’re here actually. 

“Hey, Bri and I are gonna play fifa at his place, you in?” Shawn asks him, his arm around my shoulders as we walk toward our cars. 

“Um, no. I have an English paper that I have to get done, so I’ll just see you guys on Monday.”

The boys nod and start to head toward Shawn’s Jeep where we all rode together, except for Connor because he was running late. I watch as Connor gets in his car and slams his head against the steering wheel. I move out of Shawn’s grasp, “Hey, I’m gonna catch a ride home with him. I’ll talk to you guys later.”

“Are you sure?” Brian asks.

I nod, “Yeah. Love you guys,” I pat both of their sides and rush to Connor’s car. I open the passenger side door and slide in before he even has time to process what’s happening. “Okay, what the hell is going on right now? Why did you just lie to them? We don’t have a paper due.”

When he looks over at me, I see the tears in his eyes and I crumble. “I can’t,” he shakes his head. “I can’t keep pretending like everything’s fine when it’s not. Nothing’s fine anymore. I feel like everything is slipping right out of my fingers. I don’t want to play fifa with the guys, or go out and film. I want to spend time with you. I want to go out and play mini golf because you suck at it, but you still somehow win every time. I want to sit next to you instead of in front of you because you feel so far away when you’re in front of me. I want you to lean on me, trust me. Wear my hoodie when you get cold. I want my best friend back. I want my girl back,” he shakes his head and wipes at his tears.

“So yeah, I lied to them, but I just need a damn moment to take in the fact that I’ve lost you.”

I look down at my hands, nodding slowly. “I’d like my best friend back too. But I don’t know what’s okay anymore. I didn’t have you to lean on for six months. Six fucking months. I had to go through everything alone because try as they might, Shawn and Brian aren’t you. They don’t know how to help me the way you do. You didn’t lose me, Connor. I was right fucking here the whole time. But I lost you. So, I’m sorry that I can’t just lean on you like I used to, but I’m scared you’re gonna disappear again.”

He nods, sniffling. “I know, but it feels like I’m losing you right now. Because you’re right here but you’re not y/n. And I know that’s my fault, and I’m so sorry for putting you through all of this. I just, I don’t know how I let it get this far.”

“You’re not losing me,” I respond quietly. “But you can’t just expect everything to go back to the way it was the second you said you’ve broken things off with her. You know I don’t work like that. I would love to lean on you, Connor. I would love to fall asleep with you when we watch movies. I’d love to wear your jacket instead of Shawn’s, but I don’t know if it’s okay anymore. I don’t know where our friendship becomes too much, where it crosses a line.”

He nods again, “I want you to do those things so badly, but I get it. I want you to be comfortable with what you’re doing, so I guess, if we need to start fresh then that’s what we’ll do.”

I sigh and drum my fingers on the inside of my wrist, a nervous tick I picked up a few years ago. “I just want to be Connor and y/n again.”

He reaches over and takes my hand in his, rubbing over my knuckles with his thumb. “I wanna be Connor and y/n again too.”

I close my eyes tight and squeeze his hand, “I’m terrified that you’re gonna leave me again.”

“Never again. I promise.”

“Don’t promise,” I suck in a breath, “promises can be broken.”

I jolt awake, holding my chest. Connor’s quick to sit up behind me. “Hey, hey what happened?”

I shake my head, pushing my hair out of my face. “Nothing. Nothing, I just… can memories be dreams?”

“Uh, I don’t know,” he yawns. “What did you dream about?”

I shut my eyes tight, “Just a really bad time in my life. Nothing to worry about.”

“Are you okay?”

I nod, “Yeah. Let’s just go back to sleep.”

—

I wait for her to fall back to sleep. She asked me if memories can be dreams and I’m wondering the same thing. Because the dream I just woke up from was anything but. 

“Smash or pass? Really? What are we thirteen?” I ask when our group gathers into a circle around the coffee table. My parents are out of town for the weekend, so I thought I’d have a small get together. It was just about twenty of us, but there was enough alcohol to serve a party of fifty. But now, there’s only six of us left. Shawn, Brian, y/n, me, Sam and Matt. We’ve all been drinking, so we’re all staying here for the night. Y/n’s drank the most probably. 

Until today, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her drink. She’s usually the responsible one of us. I guess since we didn’t plan on leaving, she didn’t have to be tonight. I’m watching her carefully. 

“Don’t be such a downer. It’ll be fun. Y/n, we’ll start with you. Do you want a guy or girl?” Matt asks.

She shrugs, resting her chin in her hand on the table. “Doesn’t matter. Surprise me.”

“Ooh, okay. How about that girl from Pitch Perfect. Hailee something?”

“Steinfeld?” she asks. 

“Yes! Her! Smash or pass?”

She doesn’t even hesitate, “Smash. 100%.”

“Really? Interesting,” he nods.

“Are you saying she’s not a smash? Because you’d be wrong.”

“Oh, no. Totally a smash.” 

This goes on for a while, throwing out different celebrities until Sam gets a bright idea. “Okay, let’s make it interesting. People we know.”

I go to protest, but everyone nods. “Y/n, you’re up. Smash or pass with Brian.”

“Pass,” she says instantly.

He gasps, “Hey! Rude! At least act like you’re considering it.”

She holds her hand out to him, her eyes squinting, her head bobbing a little because she’s five drinks in, and I’m pretty sure all her drinks had at least two shots in them. “Not because you’re not attractive. Don’t get your panties in a twist. S’cause you’re like my brother. I wouldn’t fuck my brother, that’s disgusting.”

“Alright, in another universe then?” Matt asks, but I don’t really want to know the -

“No. There’s just no attraction there. He’d try to tell me what to do and I’d bite his head off.”

“Ha,” Shawn laughs. “Which one?"

“I think you know,” she sips her drink but frowns when she finds it’s empty. “Oh, sad,” she looks in her cup with furrowed brows. “I’m getting another.”

“Ah, I think you’re done,” Brian argues. “That’s five.”

“Don’t kill my buzz just because I said I wouldn’t have sex with you,” she slurs.

“No, honey, I think he’s right. You’ve had a lot tonight,” Shawn agrees. 

I don’t know what to say because I think she’s had a lot too, but I’ve never been with her when she drinks. I guess her drinking habits are new. 

“I think you both suck, and since I’m not driving, I’m having another.”

They both sigh and look to me for help. She and I still aren’t back to where we were before, but we’re at least better than we were on the beach a few weeks ago. “Y/n, at least get some water to drink too.”

She frowns but nods, “Fine. I’ll be back, keep playing.” She staggers off, barely able to keep her balance. 

I sigh, “When did she start drinking like this?”

Shawn gives me that look. The one that says “take a wild guess,” and I know my answer then. When Kenz and I started dating. 

“Right,” I nod. “Got it.” She comes back, a water bottle in one hand and whatever concoction she just made up now. 

“Okay, who’s next?” she asks. We go around again until it’s her turn. 

“Shawny boy here, smash or pass?”

She looks him over and huffs, “Pass. In another universe where I didn’t know everything about him, smash.”

I clench my jaw, but Shawn just laughs. She’s drunk, I tell myself. It doesn’t mean anything. Except don’t people say that drunk words are sober thoughts? The next round takes a little longer, and by the time it gets back to her, she’s falling asleep on Shawn’s shoulder. 

“Hey, Con, can you help me get her to your room? She’s about to pass out and I’d rather not leave her here on the floor all night.”

I nod, “Yeah, no problem.” I stand up and Shawn puts her arm around my shoulders and I hold onto her waist while he stands, taking place on her other side. 

“Y/n, one more,” Matt says. 

“M’kay,” she nods. 

“Connor, smash or pass?”

"Dude," I start to protest, but she answers quickly and definitively. 

“Fucking smash,” she shakes her head. “A million goddamn times.”

Matt and Will laugh, but the rest of us stay silent, especially me. 

“Okay, let’s get you to bed,” I say, walking her up the steps. We get her to the room and on the bed. I walk over to my dresser to get her some clothes. 

“Is she sober enough to change on her own?”

Shawn shakes his head. “Gimme. I got it. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to change her.”

“She’s been drinking like this for a while?” I question, going to my bathroom to grab the makeup remover I have stowed away for her for when she stays the night.

“Yeah,” he nods, pulling my shirt over her head. 

“Shawn?” she whines, her voice cracking. 

“Yeah, honey?”

“Why doesn’t he want me?” She whimpers, “Why am I not good enough for him?”

I rear back like she’s hit me. What? Who is she talking about? It's not me, right?

Shawn sighs deeply, "You are, baby. You’re enough," he assures her and then looks up at me. "Give me a second with her?"

I don't want to leave her because I want to know who she's talking about, but my heart doesn't. So I nod and leave the room, shutting the door behind me. I slide down to the floor and rest my head in my hands, waiting for him to come back out.

He does ten minutes later and I look up at him, defeated. "She thinks I don't want her."

He gives me a sad smile, "She's just drunk. She gets like this when she drinks."

"Drunk words are sober thoughts," I shake my head. "I can't believe I've made her think she's not good enough. That I don’t want her? I want her every day, Shawn. I always have."

He doesn't say anything except, "She’s asking for you."

I get up in a heartbeat and walk into the room. "You need something, love?" I ask gently, sitting beside her on the bed.

She looks at me with her half closed eyes and an extreme pout on her lips. "Will you lay with me? Sleep with me tonight?"

I nod, "Anything you want, it’s yours. Let me go get your water. I need you to drink it before you fall asleep, okay?” I push her hair out of her face and let my fingers trace over her cheek.

“Okay, bubba. Whatever you want,” she hums. “Hurry back.”

I let my hand linger for a moment before I get up to go downstairs. The boys are still just sitting around the table, laughing, fooling around. Brian and Shawn look up at me when they hear me. 

“Is she okay? Does she need anything?” Brian asks.

I point to the water that’s sitting by Shawn’s elbow. “I just need her water. I’m gonna go lay down with her.”

“Just lay down?” Matt wiggles his eyebrows, earning a punch in the arm from Brian.

“Shut up. She’s drunk, he wouldn’t do that,” he points to me. “You won’t touch her.”

“You know I would never do that,” I shake my head. “I’m just gonna hold her until she falls asleep. And this,” I gesture to the group, “this game never happened. Not a single one of you will bring up what happened tonight. I don’t want her to be embarrassed.”

“So, what? You’re just gonna pretend it didn’t happen?”

“That’s exactly what I’m gonna do,” I sigh, “There’s extra blankets and pillows in the closet down the hall. Make yourselves comfortable, I’m going back upstairs to lay with her.” I don’t wait for anyone to say anything because honestly, I don’t care what they have to say about it.

I walk back into the room to find her sitting against the bed frame, a picture frame in her hand. 

“Whatcha looking at, pretty girl?” I ask her, closing the door behind me.

She turns the picture to face me. It’s a photo of the two of us from last summer. I’m leaning against her, my eyes closed, face scrunched, flipping off the camera. Her arms are around my bare chest and she’s licking my cheek. I promptly tackled her after the photo was taken. “This was my favorite day.”

I hum, sitting next to her. “Mine too. Here,” I hold the bottle out to her. “I need you to drink the whole thing.”

She nods, setting the picture back down on the nightstand. There’s still a lot of photos of her in here despite McKenzie telling me to take them down. The one she just had was hidden in my drawer, but I refused to take the other ones down because they had the boys in them too. She takes a few sips, successfully downing half the bottle before handing it back to me, resting her head on my shoulder. 

“Did you take down all your photos of her?” she asks quietly.

“No,” I shake my head. “There was no need. I never had any hung up.”

“Why not? I bet that made her mad.”

It did. “Doesn’t matter,” I turn my head to kiss her forehead. 

She shifts and wraps an arm around my torso, we haven’t cuddled like this in a long time, and I wish it were under different circumstances, but I’ll take what I can get now. A few moments of silence pass before I feel her body slump next to mine. She’s out like a light. 

I sigh and lean down, kissing her forehead once again. “You’re enough, baby. I want you. I always want you. And I’m gonna show you every single day for the rest of our lives.”

***

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[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (March 1/2021) - Breaking Point

Sam has been unable to find a cause for the security breach, leaving Tommy trapped. A heated argument in the cell escalates to a horrifying end.

As the rest of server mourns, the Eggpire celebrates. With their biggest obstacle in the way of their objective gone, it’s time for the next step.

It’s the start of the Final Stage.

---

VOD LINKS:

HBomb94

Ponk

Tommy

Tubbo

Ranboo

Jack Manifold

Connor

Badboyhalo

Captain Puffy

---

- HBomb hosts Foolish and Jack Manifold’s episode of L’Cast!

---

The Prison Stream

(This portion of the recap will be more detailed than normal since it’s one long conversation and there are many important lines here, including a couple that were hard to hear during the stream)

---

- Tommy’s stream starts with him making sounds and singing “Roadtrip.” Dream tells him to stop, he’s trying to write a book.

Tommy: “What are you writing, Dream? What are you writing?”

Dream: “None of your business.”

- There’s a little gray and white cat sat on the chest. Tommy says it’s annoying.

Dream: “No he’s not...he’s actually the best thing that’s happened to us.”

Tommy: (Trying to lead the cat away) “Come with me, come with me...you know what I named him, don’t you? Pussboy, Pussboy!”

- The cat returns to its spot on the chest

Tommy: “Oh, Pussboy, you are so ugly.”

Dream: “C’mon, you’re being mean!”

(Tommy punches the cat)

Dream: “Tommy! Stop!”

- Tommy starts singing “Roadtrip” in autotune. Dream tells Tommy that if he can be quiet, he’ll give Tommy more potatoes.

Dream: “I think that...the cat is the best thing that’s happened to us.”

- Sam joins the call to say hello and ask how it’s been going. He’s come to drop more food into the cell. Tommy also picks up a new clock.

- Tommy asks to be let out, but Sam says he still hasn’t found out what the security issue is. Dream asks how long Tommy will be in here for. Potentially for a while, but not forever.

- Tommy protests about how bad the prison has been. He threatens to get lawyers on Sam, he knows Big Law.

Tommy: "Sam...you know I don’t deal very well in...close quarters situations for a long time, Sam. Sam, you remember when you visited me in exile, Sam? Alright, this is worse than that, Sam...let me out. I don’t like this. Let. Me. Out. Sam.”

- Sam insists he’s doing the best he can and leaves.

- Dream tries to say that it’s not that bad. He’s been in there for a long time, but now it’s better! Tommy writes a book to Dream, signs it and throws it to him.

Dream: “I have company. I have a cat -- I mean, technically it’s not my cat, technically it’s your cat, but still! It’s just as good, keeps me company when I write and everything, we talk sometimes -- ‘cause you’re annoying a lot of the time--”

- Dream throws away the clock in the lava, saying they don’t need it. Tommy punches the cat again.

Dream: “Tommy, hear me out, hear me out...what if...we get out together, okay?”

- Tommy is not a fan of the idea, Dream shouldn’t be let out too. He goes over to the cat and shouts at it for being in his spot. He punches Pussboy twice.

Dream: “Tommy...TOMMY, STOP!”

Tommy: “Excuse me! Come this way, come this way, excuse me Dream I’m trying to right-click Pussboy--”

(Dream moves to get in front of the cat)

Dream: “Tommy.”

Tommy: “Come here, come here! Do you like this cat, Dream?”

Dream: “Yes, I do.”

Tommy: “Why?”

Dream: “Because he -- Tommy, he keeps me company --”

(Tommy punches Pussboy again and leads him towards the lava)

Tommy: “Pussboy, this way. Pussboy, this way. Let me show you the light--”

Dream: “He’s probably low, he’s probably low!”

Tommy: “Oh what, you love him? Do you love him? Do you love him?”

Dream: “Yes, I do...Tommy, he’s made things better in here -- okay listen! When you leave, can you sit him down and leave him here?”

(Tommy goes over and punches Pussboy again. He tries to lead Pussboy away again, but when the cat doesn’t come he punches Pussboy twice more, killing him)

Tommy: “Yeah. And that’s what happens when you love something, bitch.”

...

Tommy: “See, now when I leave, when I leave, you’ll have nothing! ‘Cause you are lonely, and you’re m-m-manipulative, you’re a fuckin’ twat, and I mean that.”

Dream: “Tommy...I’m gonna get out! And you just motivated me -- you motivated me all the time, you just -- that was hope, right? The cat was hope -- the cat was hope that I could live a nice life in here--”

Tommy: “And now it’s dead, now it’s dead.”

- Dream insists that he’ll get out, and when he does, he’ll get his revenge on everyone who wronged him. Tommy asks if he’d kill Tubbo. 

- The subject goes back to Dream’s plan of escape.

Dream: “I have a plan. And the thing is, Awesamdude’s never gonna believe you that I have a plan because he thinks it’s unbreakable, unescapable--”

“I have a plan. And you know, there’s a certain someone who owes me a favor, but -- that might be a part of it, but...I do have a plan.”

- They argue about the conditions of the prison again. 

Dream: “I’ve been in here a for hundred times longer than you, and you sit there trying to tell me that it’s so horrible, that it’s so bad -- yeah, it was! But guess what, we have each other to talk to, and we had a cat until you fucking killed it!”

Tommy: “Dream...Dream, and listen to this -- fucking engrave this on you, write this into your arms, Dream...You don’t have me. You’ll never have me. We don’t have each other, alright? I am me, and you are this fuckin’ loser who goes around manipulating people, lying to get what he wants. You are a fuckin’ no one, man, alright? And when I’m going to leave here, you’re not! You might have a favor -- you think, who is it, Technoblade’s gonna be able to come in here to let you out -- Technoblade, he doesn’t like governments, but he likes self gain! You think he wants to piss off the owner of the most POWERFUL building on the entire server, just so that he can get a video that BARELY scrapes the five million view mark -- NO, Dream, alright? You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you’re deluded, you’re delusional, and I fuckin’ hate you.”

Dream: “Okay...yeah, but I have something Techno would want, so...it means knowledge, alright?”

- Dream says that even when he’s in here, he’s more powerful than Tommy outside. Tommy replies that if he wanted to, he could kill Dream right now. The only reason he doesn’t is because they need the revive book.

- Dream says that he will never use the revive book to help Tommy or his friends. Ever.

Dream: “So kill me. Go ahead, come on.”

- When if Tubbo dies, Dream says, they’ll come begging for Tubbo to be revived, and Dream will ask to be let out.

- Tommy then says that this isn’t worse than exile, because in exile, Tommy thought Dream had all the power, and Tommy knows something...he thinks the revive book isn’t real. Jschlatt was just a drunk, why would he have this book?

Dream: “Jschlatt gave me the book -- why else would I switch to Jschlatt’s side?!”

...

“I’m not lying! Jschlatt gave me a revive book after...before he died....because...he said--” (he cuts off here)

- Dream asks why he would be lying about that.

Tommy: “You’re a liar! You’re a liar, and really, through your Netherite armor and skin, I look at you and you know what I see? I see a sad little man who’s insecure about the fact that this server has gotten so far ahead of him that his only little glimpse of power in this world is gone. And I see an insecure, sad little man. So fuck off. You stupid green lad.”

Dream: “Your life...is literally in my hands. Does that piss you off? Does that make you mad? Does that make you so mad that I -- if you kill me -- I MIGHT AS WELL BE A GOD, TOMMY! YOU CAN’T KILL ME, AND I CAN KILL YOU! So what does it mean, that you can’t kill me because of the revive book -- what does that mean? If you can’t kill me, does that make me some kind of god?”

Tommy: “No Dream. I could kill you right now. If I wanted to.”

Dream: “Okay. But you won’t. But you won’t! I could kill you if I wanted to! I could kill you right now, actually.”

...

Tommy: “I don’t think this revive book is real. Schlatt? He’s fuckin’ dead. I’ve seen his grave! His grave is real, his corpse is there!”

Dream: “Okay...Why don’t you go see him then?”

Tommy: “NO -- stop it stop it stop it st--”

--- ---

CANON DEATH: TOMMY

Cause: Punched to death

--- ---

End of stream.

---

- Tubbo, Ranboo and Jack see Tommy’s death message in game chat.

- They go to the prison and Sam is there to tell them what happened. Sam couldn’t get there in time. He didn’t think Dream would actually kill him. They’re all in shock. 

- Tubbo and Ranboo think Tommy will be back. There’s no way he’s actually dead, right? 

- Jack Manifold is in celebration. He got what he wanted! He thought Dream would want Tommy alive, and killing Tommy himself would be an extra jab in the chest for Dream, but apparently not? And now he has a hotel!

- He decides to check on Tubbo and makes sure he’s okay. 

- Jack walks down to the shore and looks up at the prison, and...it hits him. He’s spent months plotting to kill Tommy. Jack realizes his victory feels hollow. Even now, Tommy and Dream have managed to take away this from him. 

- Of Ze Haus, he says that this place no longer means anything to him. He gets a flint and steel and sets it alight, watching it burn.

- He passes by Tommy’s house and finds Ranboo planting red and white flowers outside.

- Jack switches into his L’manburg uniform and walks along the Prime Path.

Jack: “I remember the day I joined the server. The day after the first war. L’manburg was still a big hole, and we built it up. And Tommy invited me to join. And I betrayed him (laughs), so really this has all come full circle.”

“Maybe I was always really just upset because I always felt like he cared more about the discs than...anyone. And I guess I just enjoyed it when we were friends...and...I’ve not really had any friends...since...then, really. Never really wanted any.”

- Jack later speaks with Foolish and tells him that Tommy’s never coming back from prison. Foolish didn’t know him too well, but he’s still a bit sad. When anyone passes, it’s sad.

- Jack heads back out into the wilderness, wandering to the beach area at the edge of the forest where Quackity had his argument with Badboyhalo a while back. There’s something just beyond the hill.

- Quackity meets him there and escorts him back home, telling him he was heading too close to something, could have gotten “a nice view of it.”

- He’s been thinking of writing up a draft of their contract. He also sees the new McPuffy’s.

- Jack tells Quackity that Tommy’s not in the prison anymore. Quackity says they need to talk to him and make sure Jack keeps his hotel. As the rain pours, Jack tells him. Tommy didn’t make it.

- Quackity and Jack have a moment in front of Tommy’s house. Though upset, Quackity says it’s time to get back to work.

Quackity: “Jack...don’t let this affect business. The train doesn’t stop.”

Jack: “No, it only goes faster.”

- Jack also speaks with Antfrost. Antfrost gives his condolences, and says he’ll put together a celebration “of life.”

Ant: “Bad and Sam will be happy...to attend, of course!”

- Afterwards, Jack heads down into Karls nightclub and ends stream there.

- Connor speaks with Sam Nook at the hotel.

- Bad meets Ant at the Holy Land. Ant asks if the church would be a good place for a celebration. Ant sits Bad down to tell him. Bad is overjoyed. 

- Bad says that now, they don’t even have to do any preparations: 

They can move into the Final Stage.

- They get milk for the cake and decide to throw the party at Tommy’s house!

- They meet with Sam at the prison entrance. He sounds dejected.

Sam: “I didn’t think Dream would ever actually...try and kill him”

Bad: (laughs) “Is this the same Dream we’re talking about? It’s Dream, Sam.”

Sam: “I mean...Dream had...I thought I had...broken the will out of him, to do something like that. But he...he did.”

- He says they need to find out what it was -- he wandered around the prison several times and couldn’t find any sign that someone had done something.

- Ant and Bad try to reassure Sam that Tommy signed the waivers, he went to see Dream, and Sam shouldn’t blame himself. Sam doesn’t see it that way.

- They say they’ll talk to Sam later and leave the prison. They see Sam Nook at the hotel. Sam is excited about the new upgrades for the hotel! Tommy will be so excited to see them!

- They return to Tommy’s house and speak with Punz as they make a party floor and sing the Crab Rave song in dudududus.

- Meanwhile, Captain Puffy is grieving, feeling like she failed Tommy. As she logs on, Bad and Ant decide that Puffy might want to join them for the party! 

- Punz meets them there, and they tell him that Tommy’s dead. Punz isn’t sure how he feels, it’s bittersweet.

- Puffy arrives and angrily tells them to leave. What’s wrong with them?!

- The Eggpire sees Sam Nook at the hotel and goes up the floors to find a place to party. Puffy comes up and tells them to find another place to party. They argue again.

- Foolish arrives to visit his room in the hotel. Puffy leaves them. They quarrel about who has the room for the night.

- Puffy mines down the Eggpire’s meeting room. She’s noticed that being a hero hasn’t worked. Sparing people, being merciful, it hasn’t worked. She might need a change of perspective. 

- The Eggpire decides to visit the Egg and break the news to it. They see the wreckage, but Puffy is in the Nether by the time they get there.

- Puffy visits Logsted.

- The Eggpire goes down to the Egg Room and finds the pathway blocked up with obsidian...is this why the Vines have been slower to grow lately?

- They break the barrier and find the Egg drenched in water. They wake up the Egg and it speaks.

“This world is mine. It belongs to me.”

“No no no, I know, but we’ve got something to tell you!”

“I see all...I...am...all...”

“Oh so you--”

“I know all.”

“You know then! Guess -- well, we’ll tell you anyway in case you don’t know -- but guess what? Tommy’s dead! Dream -- the green guy, you met him -- killed him in the prison! I guess Tommy got stuck there, and Dream killed him! Are you happy?"

“Feed me...I require nourishment.”

“No no no, don’t worry -- that’s coming soon! We’ll take care of that! We’re already gonna begin the preparations, right guys? Yeah, we’re gonna begin the preparations, and we’ll send out the invitations, we’ll let everyone know...and the final stage can commence! This is wonderful!”

- Once on the surface, Bad announces that with a little more preparation, they’ll all get exactly what they want. The final stage is about to commence. 

The day of celebrations, the day they’ve been preparing for, the day the Egg has been preparing for, is about to happen...

- Bad goes down to the Egg Room one last time and stands at the Egg to give a final speech.

“Everything leading up to this point, EVERYTHING, all the way going back to the discovery of this...beautiful, luxurious Egg, okay...we had it all planned. As soon as we found it, we knew what was gonna happen. We knew the objective...”

“We may have forgotten what it was, forgotten the ultimate goal as soon as we boxed the Egg up in obsidian. But guess what -- that didn’t stop the Egg! Boxing it up only made it STRONGER, and LARGER, and more powerful! And the Egg’s been storing up that energy, okay? You may have been thinking the Vines have not been spreading...but that’s because we haven’t WANTED them to spread. We have been working, storing energy, storing power...in preparation for the final plan. The final objective. And there were only a couple people getting in the way. But guess what? One of the biggest obstacles -- Tommy -- is no longer in the way...now that he’s not in the way, we can commence with the final stage...the final party...before it all comes to a conclusion...”

“Brace yourselves...everybody on this server, prepare. Anyone who is anti-Egg...you guys better get ready, because we know who you are. And at the end of the day, the Egg is gonna be victorious. And there’s nothing ANYBODY can do to stop it.”

“Good luck.”

[comfortbucky]

Hey! Can i request a cold, lonely ex-hydra reader × bucky who falls in love with her. Adding some panic attacks and nightmares of the reader.

i love this idea!!! thank u for submitting🥰

𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗲 ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚ ⋆

pairing: avenger!bucky x ex-HYDRA!fem!reader

tags: enemies(?) to lovers, angst (if u squint), soft!bucky

warnings: canon level violence, description of injuries, blood is mentioned, panic attacks, anxiety, nightmares

A/N: i just came up with a random name for the HYDRA leader the reader is after🤣 so just ,,, ignore // also!!!! i tried out a different writing style than what i’m used to! hope u don’t mind🥺 just been feeling like a lot of my writing is the same and wanted to try something new!!!

word count: 3.5k (this is so long LMAO sorry 😭 literally why am i like this)

my masterlist!

completed requests!

The suit that you once considered a second skin, now felt uncomfortable and constricting, like a python squeezing the life out of you. Although, it made sense since the very organization of the uniform you were wearing did exactly that.

HYDRA.

For so long you were just another mindless pawn to them, just doing without every actually thinking. Unlike your younger brother, Alex. They indoctrinated him as well, getting a hold of both of you from a young age, but he was there when Captain America took down S.H.I.E.L.D. and it changed his entire worldview. You found everything he said about “freedom” to be stupid, naive, and dangerous. And you would later prove yourself correct.

You pull yourself from your thoughts as a group of HYDRA soldiers walk past the shrubbery you hid behind. Quickly and quietly, you get up and join them as they march towards the HYDRA base. As soon as you get inside, you manage to slip away from the rest of the group to search for your target.

Since HYDRA took the possibility of you ever having a normal life away, as far as you were concerned, your only purpose in life was to kill the man who was at the center of it all, Viktor Cross. And after months of tracking him down, formulating the perfect plan, that’s exactly what you were going to do today.

You make your way towards one of the main lab facilities, gun in hand when you see several unconscious guards lying on the floor in front of you. Shifting your gaze up, you see that the door has been ripped open, grip marks on the sides.

This was not part of the plan.

As you squeeze through the open door and enter the lab, you come to a halt, frozen in shock. There’s your target, Viktor, shoved against the wall by none other than Captain America himself. You almost let out a chuckle in disbelief at the irony of the situation. Instead, you take a step forward, and the glass cracks beneath your feet, alerting the men of your presence.

Shit.

Immediately, both sets of eyes are on you. Viktor’s lips curve into a smirk as you make your way to them.

“Agent- Miss Y/N,” he corrects himself. “What a pleasant surprise.” You ignore him and look to address Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America.

“Let him go and give him to me,” you start, Steve eyeing you cautiously. “So I can kill him,” you snarl, quickly turning to Viktor to see that his smirk had been wiped off his face.

“Aren’t you HYDRA?” He questions, nodding to your suit and eliciting a cackle from Viktor.

“Not anymore,” you mumble, before lifting a leg to kick Steve in his side. You hit him across the face with the end of your gun for good measure. He stumbles over, giving you enough time to grab Viktor’s collar, before he falls to the floor, and slam him back against the wall. His eyes are full of desperation and you felt nothing but pure, burning rage. You shove the barrel of your gun under his chin and place your hand on the trigger.

“You were such a gifted agent, Y/N. Don’t throw away such potential, come back.”

“Go to hell.”

Before you could pull the trigger, a force propels you to the ground and you feel a sharp pain in your side. Silence and then ringing fills your eyes as you squint your eyes to try and visualize the situation. Your vision is blurry, but clear enough to clouds of smoke engulf Viktor’s figure as he escapes. A muffled voice from behind you speaks, but you can’t make out any of the words they’re saying. You look down to see red. Just crimson red, staining your abdomen. Hands land on your shoulders, shaking you gently as your vision fades to black.

Viktor is in front of you, the barrel of his gun directed right at your head. He smirks as he moves his hand to the trigger.

“Hail, HYDRA.”

A gunshot goes off, forcing you to shoot up in bed, gasping for air. As you start to regain your senses, you realize you’re surrounded by a group of strangers. Well, not complete strangers, the Avengers to be exact. Part of your job required you to study their files, learn everything about them. You could recite from memory where and when they were born, their greatest strengths and weaknesses. Suddenly, your side starts to burn with pain, and you carefully lean back in bed. There’s an array of wires and tubes connected to you and you hear the rhythmic beeping of various machines. You’re in a hospital, or some sort of medical facility.

“That, is exactly why I said we should use restraints.”

You’re staring at the ceiling when you hear Iron Man, AKA Tony Stark, speak.

“Tony, she lost a liter of blood, she’s not going anywhere.”

Steve appears in your view, looking down at you.

“Hey, you’re okay. You’re safe.”

You shift your gaze away from him. The last thing you expected to come out of this mission was to meet the Avengers, let alone them save you.

Steve sighs, “We’re not gonna hurt you. We wanna find Viktor too.”

There’s nothing he could say that could get you to speak. Your hatred for HYDRA didn’t mean you suddenly liked the Avengers. If anything, they were part of the problem too, so you stay silent.

“Told you, she’s not gonna talk,” Tony quips. From your research, you had come to learn that he was an arrogant man, and his statement only proved you right. “Maybe you should get Manchurian Candidate to come down, give her an ex-HYDRA buddy,” he says sarcastically.

Upon hearing “ex-HYDRA buddy,” you furrow your brows. Maybe it was the lack of blood in your body, but it took you a second to process his words and understand who he was referring to. Your eyes dart back to look at Steve’s but he’s gone.

“I’ll be back.” His voice trails off as he exits the room.

You’re still staring at the ceiling when you hear footsteps return and then several others departing.

There’s only one other person in the room beside you. Without even looking up, you already know who it is. His breathing was slow and steady until you started to shift in bed to reposition yourself. His breath hitched for a moment, before returning back to his normal breathing pattern.

“Killing him isn’t gonna make you feel better.” His comment makes you roll your eyes as you slowly sit up to look at him. There were no logical thoughts in your head, all you could feel was pain and fury. Anger swelled within you, your emotions boiling over.

“That’s rich, coming from the Fist of HYDRA,” you spat out. As soon as the words left your mouth, you felt your stomach drop. It was an unfamiliar feeling, one you hadn’t felt in a while. What was it? Regret?

Bucky’s face fell but he kept his eyes on you. It was a look that made you feel worse, worse than the searing pain in your side.

“I’m not a killer anymore,” he said in a tone so gentle, you felt another strange, new emotion but couldn’t quite label it. You quickly shift gears to avoid addressing the uncomfortable feelings swirling around in your stomach.

“Are you keeping me hostage to lure Viktor in? Because it's not going to work." Bucky shook his head.

"We want..." he trailed off, causing you to tilt your head in curiosity. “We need your help finding him.” You scoffed.

“What do I get out of it?” Bucky’s silence gave you your answer. Shaking your head, you start to disconnect yourself from the multitude of wires attached to you and get out of bed.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself,” he started, as you threw off your blanket and sat on the edge of the bed.

Standing up quickly, the blood from your head pooled in your legs, causing you to feel dizzy. Your head spun and your arms reached out for something, anything stable to grab onto. It was a metal hand. Despite it being cool to the touch, it ignited a heat to rise to your cheeks. You look down and mumble a thank you as Bucky helps you back into bed.

Letting out a sigh, you realize with the condition you’re in, you can’t leave. Definitely not well enough to go after Viktor alone. Shutting your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose, you curse under your breath.

“Fine,” you finally speak, keeping your eyes closed. Bucky nods, even though you don’t see, and you hear him walk off.

After a couple days of rest, you were cleared by Bruce to get discharged. Viktor had gone deep in hiding, making your job to find him a lot harder. Tony had so graciously given you an extra room in the tower, right next to Bucky’s. He was probably the one person you saw the most, purely due to location, and the fact that everyone else cautiously kept their distance from you. It made sense though, since you rarely spoke to anyone and spent most of your time in the lab looking for any clues of Viktor’s location. When you weren’t searching for him, you were training in the gym. Bucky was there a lot too, both of you waking up at ungodly hours of the morning. No words were ever exchanged between the two of you, and yet, there was some level of comfort you felt being around him. Must’ve been an ex-HYDRA thing.

“What’s on your mind?” You walk over to Alex and sit on the edge of the bed next to him. He sighs.

“What if,” he starts, furrowing his brows. “What if freedom is good?” He speaks quietly, fearful of HYDRA listening in on your conversation.

It feels like you’ve got the wind knocked out of you.

“Alex,” you grab him by the shoulders. “What the hell are you talking about?” You’re searching his eyes, trying to understand what’s gotten into him.

“Captain America.” The biggest threat to HYDRA’s existence. He looks down at his hands. “He was willing to risk his life for it. It has to be worth something right?” Alex looks back up to you with a look in his eyes that you haven’t seen since you were children. Uncertainty. You sigh and pull him into your chest, stroking his hair.

“I don’t know, kiddo. Maybe.”

You wake up in a cold sweat, panting. Hot tears fall from the corners of your eyes. It’s the same dream you’ve had for the last week. Although, you wouldn’t consider it a dream necessarily, but it wasn’t a nightmare either. Just a bittersweet memory.

Bucky could tell that something was up with you for the past week. Despite having gone through a bit of therapy, Steve’s idea, the nightmares still came to him. So Bucky was already wide awake when he heard your weeping on the other side of the wall. It didn’t help that he was also a light sleeper with super-soldier hearing. He didn’t know what was causing you to be so upset, but he didn’t want to intrude and ask. Neither of you had spoken to the other since you first arrived.

But this night was different from the rest. Usually, you would flip endlessly through channels on ur TV until you eventually fell asleep, but it wasn’t working this time. There’s a tight pain in your chest and suddenly, you’re suffocating. You rip off your covers and spring out of bed, tripping on your blankets along the way. At this point, you don’t even register the pain of slamming down, face-first on the ground. Panic has taken over your body, tears now streaming down your face. You squeeze your eyes shut, hoping for relief.

He wasn’t planning on doing anything until he heard a loud thud from your room. Immediately, Bucky gets up and arrives at your door. It’s rude to just barge into someone’s room, his mom taught him that from a young age, so he settles on knocking. You don’t hear it though, the only sound you hear is the sound of your rapid breathing as you hyperventilate. Bucky hears it too and ultimately decides on inviting himself into your room.

“Y/N?”

You’re lying on your side, curled up in a fetal position with your hands covering your face, when Bucky opens the door. He quickly arrives by your side, kneeling beside you, as he examines you for any injuries.

“Are you hurt?”

You manage to shake your head in response, anxiety still flowing through your veins. Unfortunately, Bucky’s familiar with panic attacks, having had them himself. But he also knows that everyone deals with them a bit differently. Guess he did manage to learn some useful things from therapy.

“Can you try breathing with me?”

He starts to take deep breaths in and out until he sees you start to follow along with him, your hands still covering your face. There’s a part of you that feels stupid for keeping them there, but they help ground you, so you continue to shield your face. After what feels like an hour, but was probably only 10 minutes, your panic subsides. That’s when a wave of embarrassment hits you, realizing that it had been Bucky with you during your panic attack.

Slowly removing your hands from your face, you’re greeted by piercing blue eyes. You blink a couple times, realizing that Bucky had taken a spot on the ground, lying on his side to face you, his hands pressed together under his head like a pillow. He smiles and you feel warm. It’s terrifying, the new feelings that Bucky has caused you to feel and yet, you don’t mind.

“You feelin’ better?” You nod and smile back, something you haven’t genuinely done in a while.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

You stare at each other in silence, lying side by side. There’s no physical touch involved but somehow, this moment, it feels intimate. Bucky breaks the silence.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He speaks in a voice so soft, it almost sounded like a whisper.

It might’ve been the fact that he just calmed you down from a panic attack, but as you looked into his eyes, you felt the walls you had built up for the last year slowly come crashing down.

“He killed my brother,” you reply, maintaining your eyes on Bucky. You searched his eyes for any fear or pity, but all you could find was a look of understanding. His eyes were starting to become a safe place for you.

“Alex was there when Steve took down S.H.I.E.L.D., HYDRA along with it. He wanted out, out of the organization.” Taking a deep breath, you continue. “Word got around about a “rat,” so I took the blame. Viktor was about to shoot me when Alex’s dumbass ran in front of me, sacrificing himself.” You let out a chuckle, your vision getting blurry as tears swelled in your eyes. “He was a goddamn idiot, but he also had a heart of gold.”

As you start to cry, Bucky hesitatingly extends an arm to hover over your body, trying to gauge your reaction. Physical touch was something he struggled with during the beginning of his recovery, and he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. He’s reassured when you grab onto his shirt and pull yourself closer to him, and wraps an arm around you, his other hand softly stroking your head.

You hadn’t cried like this since Alex died, bottling up all of your emotions to focus on finding the man responsible for his death. But as you sobbed into Bucky’s chest, you realize that your love for Alex had transformed into an ugly, burning hatred for Viktor. He wouldn’t want this. You didn’t want it, at least, not anymore. The only thing you wanted was your brother back, and that was impossible.

Bucky held you in his arms until you fell asleep, listening to the sounds of your slow, rhythmic breathing, dozing off shortly after.

That night with Bucky had softened your cold, hard exterior that you initially presented yourself with. You would willingly spar with Nat in the training room and join the team for breakfast or dinner. Everyone noticed and, while at first thrown off by it, happily embraced it. Especially Bucky.

Initially, he got up to work out in the early hours of the morning as a habit. Now, he woke up to see you. His heart did flips in his chest every time he walked in the gym and saw you. Since that night, you started to acknowledge his presence, turning to smile and wave as he walked through the doors. It was something he looked forward to every day.

During the day, you were focused hard on tracking down Viktor and Bucky knew that. But he also knew he wanted to spend more time with you. He looked for reasons to enter the lab, whether it was offering snacks to you throughout the day or helping Bruce or, even Tony. Anything to see you again.

Bucky realized that there was a deeper, stronger emotion that he felt for you when he would wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. The first thing he thought about was you. Specifically, how you were the only thing that could possibly calm him down. Although he’d come in that night to help you with your panic attack, you ended up helping him as well. He hadn’t slept as soundly and peacefully as he did with you. And you hadn’t either. There were several nights when neither of you could sleep and ended up running into each other. It slowly became a routine that would begin in the kitchen, exchanging life stories, and end on the couch in the common area, entangled in each other’s arms.

Tonight you didn’t show up and Bucky panicked. He stared at the kitchen clock. It had been 20 minutes and you still hadn’t shown up. Bucky racked his brain for anything he could’ve done to scare you off, but came up with nothing. It wasn’t like you two had been officially together, Bucky had no idea what you were to each other. All he knew is that he wanted to be with you, always.

You were soundly asleep in bed, passing out as soon as your head hit the pillow. It was a particularly physically exhausting day for you, training with both Nat and Steve.

Bucky was so caught up with the thoughts racing through his head, he hadn’t noticed that his feet had taken him right to your door. He stands there for a moment, silently debating what to do. Grumbling under his breath, he musters up the courage to knock on your door. Right as he was about to turn away and shuffle off to his room, your door opens. You greet him with a yawn and a tired smile.

“Oh, hey Bucky.”

He looks at the bags under your eyes and feels instant regret wash over him, realizing that you weren’t avoiding him, but just getting some sleep.

“Sorry,” he looks down at his feet. You frown and place a hand on his cheek to lift his head up.

“Something wrong?” He avoids your gaze, partially because he’s embarrassed and partially because his cheeks were turning red because of your touch.

“No.” You cross your arms and let out a sigh.

“You’re a bad liar.” It’s his turn to sigh, as he scratches the back of his head.

“You didn’t come to the kitchen,” he lets out, in almost a whisper. It hits you. You were so tired, you had completely forgotten about your nightly tradition. “It’s stupid, sorry. I shouldn’t have woken you up," he mumbles. Bucky begins to walk off but you grab his hand. When he turns to look at you, his brows are raised at your touch.

As you start to speak, you pull him close, facing you. “It’s not stupid.” His hands move to hold your waist as yours move to wrap around his neck. You pause, an idea popping into your head. “I’m kind of tired from training today, wanna just come sleep with me?” He nods and you drag him to your bed, nestling into his arms as he holds you to his chest, his chin resting above your head. You tilt your head back to see him looking down at you. There’s a fluttering feeling in your chest and you smile.

“Just for future reference, you have an open invitation to cuddle with me, anytime.” Bucky chuckles at your offer.

“I’ll keep that in mind, doll.”

Bucky cups your face in his hand and you nuzzle your cheek in his palm. His eyes dart down to your lips before returning to your eyes.

Then, the most delicate, sweetest kiss you’ve ever received is on your lips.

You flutter your eyes open as you both pull apart. He quickly kisses your nose before pulling you back into his chest, speaking softly.

“And you have an open invitation to kiss me, anytime.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Born to Run

Warnings: dark elements including noncon and rape, fingering, kidnapping, guns, and other explicit content.

This is dark!Frank Castle and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are forced onto the road when an unwanted passenger gets in your backseat.

Note: So I’m gonna tag @allaboardthereadingrailroad​ because I promised them I’d write Frank and I finally got to it and it was loads of fun!

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

You sighed as you rolled to a stop behind the yellow taxi. You craned your neck to try to see around the lines of cars, another deadlock in New York traffic. You couldn’t be surprised as you idled in one spot and leaned your hand on the wheel as you checked the time. 

You heard a siren, saw lights flashing ahead, and heard shouts. Again, not unusual for the city.

You rubbed your forehead as the sun beat down through your window and the humidity built as it leaked in through your open window. You tried not to use the AC too much as it made your old Chrysler overheat in the annual New York heatwave. You shifted in your seat and pulled against the belt as you tried once more to peer past the crowded vehicles.

You heard heavy footsteps, several sets echoing from all directions. A figure appeared on the other side of your car and the back door was ripped open. The man ducked as he slammed the door behind him and laid across the seat. He rolled down onto the floor, a sudden invasion that shocked you.

“What the fuck--get out of my car!” you snarled.

“Honey, you’re gonna wanna keep it down,” he said as his large body barely fit in the crevice between the seats.

“What--”

He poked a gun up towards you and waved it, “eyes forward,” he said, “hands on the wheel, and turn the music up.”

“I don’t have any money--”

“I don’t want your money now shut up,” he hissed, “now you keep it up and I’ll blow a hole through your seat… pity you’re on the other side.”

Your adrenaline spiked and the pounding in your temples deafened you. You turned the knob of the radio to drown out the pulsing and the man’s ragged breaths. Several others appeared, several dressed as officers and few in civilian clothing. You grasped the wheel and made yourself stare at the license plate ahead of you.

The search party dispersed as they called out to each other and the cab slowly crawled forward. The man squinted up through the window as the cars around you began to move as well.

“Drive,” he said.

“What do you want?” you asked shakily as you pressed lightly on the gas.

“To do what I tell you,” he barked and wiggled uncomfortably on the floor, “you keep driving until you’re out of the city and then maybe we’ll talk.”

“It’s rush hour, that could take ages,” you huffed.

“So take ages,” he growled, “you don’t stop ‘til I tell you, got it?”

You nodded and cleared your throat, “uh huh,” you looked in your rearview as a gunshot rang, “exit?”

“Whatever gets you out of New York now shut up and drive.”

You did as he said. You made your way at a snail’s pace until traffic began to thin out and you turned away from your usual route.

“Tell me what street you’re on when you turn,” he ordered, “don’t fuck around with me.”

You looked at the sign and read it aloud. You followed a silver Civic to the next and again recited the name on the dented sign. You checked the clock again. Your meeting would have already started, that was probably why your bag wouldn’t stop vibrating.

“Give me your phone,” he said. You reached over blindly and grabbed your purse. You dropped it to him and he quickly unzipped it, “roll the window down,” again, you obeyed as you recalled the sight of the gun.

He pulled apart your phone and you glanced back over your shoulder. He had the back of and the battery in his hand. “Hey--”

“Keep your eyes on the road,” he flung the battery out the window and bent the phone in half. He tossed it too and righted his gun to aim over the console, “go on.”

“You can take the car, please… people will look for me,” you pleaded.

“Not for a while,” he laid back and gripped the gun, “now someone sees you arguing with your windshield and they gonna get curious so shut up and enjoy the… is that music?”

You changed the station with a flick of your finger, you barely registered the smoky tones of Springsteen as you focused on steering and reading out the street names. Your veins burned as our blood pumped wildly from your racing heart and the man’s scent tickled your nostrils; he smelled of blood and sweat. You hoped he didn’t add your own to the stains on his jeans.

💀

It was dark as your car dinged. You swore and looked ahead for a sign. You shook your head and blew out a long breath.

“I need gas,” you said to the phantom in the back seat.

He grunted as he pushed himself up from the floor and sat up, “gotta be a station close.”

“And if there isn’t?”

“Then we get out and push,” he scoffed, “stop worrying about ‘if’ and find us a station.”

You rolled your eyes. The man was annoying, even if he was terrifying. You scratched your nose and sat forward with a yawn. “I’d know if you hadn’t destroyed my phone.”

“See, right up there,” he ignored your gripe, “yellow sign just ahead.”

“Christ,” you huffed and blinked at the black road.

“I’m sure you had some real important business,” he grumbled, “but I’m sure the coffee can make itself.”

“Excuse me? Fuck off, I’m not some--”

“You’re gonna miss your turn,” he warned and you flipped your signal on.

You pulled into the station and he scooped up your purse. You shut the car off and unbuckled your belt. You twisted in your seat to watch him search your purse. He pulled out your wallet and counted the bills inside.

“Right, we fill up then we’re back to it,” he opened the door and stepped out.

He uncapped your tank and pulled a hose from the meter. He slid it into the slot and kept a hand lazily on the handle. You slowly opened your door and got out. You looked at him over the top of the car as he scowled at you, it was the first good look you got at him.

His dark hair was shaved on the side but he had about and inch or two up top, his nose was crooked, and his dark eyes were set beneath a forehead that betrayed a frequent grimace. You looked at the lights of the station then back at him.

“I gotta… go pee,” you said.

“You wait,” he said, “I’ll go with you.”

“What?”

“You think I’m stupid?” He released the level and tapped the nozzle as he pulled it out, “hold your horses, I’m comin’.”

He put the hose back in and stomped over to you. You saw the gun tucked into his belt and he pulled his jacket over it. He snatched the keys from you and grabbed your arm and marched you to the blazing door of the station.

“You have one minute before I come in and drag you out, pants down or not,” he tore open the door and shoved you through.

You curled your lip as he took a few sticks of jerky from a display and approached the counter. As you got to the sign over the restroom, you looked back as he stared at you. He raised a thick brow and tapped his wrist as if he wore a watch; he did not.

You went into the bathroom and locked the heavy door behind you. You looked around the grimy room and shuddered at the stained toilet bowl. You stepped up on the seat and looked out the small window above. It might be big enough if you suck in.

You stepped on the pipe beside the handle and pushed on the pain. It was just as gross as the rest of the room. The pane finally popped out and you hauled yourself over the high ledge. The glass didn’t quite open wide enough so you had to bend as you wiggled through. You had a high chance of landing on your head but you really didn’t want to chance worse with that man.

You kicked as you were lodged halfway through the window and a knock came at the door, “better pull your pants up,” your abductor called through the door.

You struggled to force yourself through as you tried to angle your hips past the frame. The door burst open with a frightening kick and you flailed your legs as you tried to hit the man blindly and keep him away. He caught your ankles and pulled you back. You cried out and grabbed the window frame so that you didn’t crash down into the toilet.

“Hey, let me go,” you tried to kick him again and he batted away your foot.

“You do that again and you won’t have a safe landing,” he tugged again and you nearly lost your grip on the ledge, “now come on.”

“You got my wallet, my keys, everything, so why don’t you just leave me--”

“Don’t make me count,” he sounded like a father.

“Count? Oh, come on, what am I gonna do? Just let me go.”

“Three,” he swung you just a little, “two,” he gripped your legs firmly, “O--”

“Okay!” you shouted, “okay, just-- let me down.”

Cautiously he bent and put your feet on the floor. He stood and you pushed yourself straight. He grabbed your arm and spun you to face him. He bent and rammed his shoulder into your stomach as he scooped you up. You yiped and pounded on his back as he turned and carried you out of the restroom.

As he strutted down the aisle, the clerk stared at you in confusion. The man reached the door and paused, “on her rag, she gets a bit pissy.” He left the store with a chime and carried you across the lot, “you want the trunk or are you gonna be good?”

You pulled on the back of his jacket and gritted your teeth, “would you put me down?”

“I won’t ask again so either you choose or I do,” he said as he neared the car.

“Alright, alright,” you snarled as he popped the trunk, “I’ll be good just don’t-- not in there.”

He harrumphed and walked around to close the trunk. He brought you up to the passenger side and dropped you on your feet. Dizzy, you grabbed onto the car and he ripped the door open, narrowly missing you with it.

“In,” he pointed to the seat.

You glared at him and stepped under his arm. You sat and he closed the door with a snap. He rounded the hood and the car dipped as he sat in the driver’s seat. He fumbled with keys and shoved them in the slot. He turned the ignition and shifted in the seat.

He took a stick of jerky from his pocket and peeled the plastic. He took a bite as he put the car in drive. He pulled out with one hand on the wheel and chewed noisily and he siphoned through the radio station with his greasy finger. You buckled your seatbelt out of habit and crossed your arms. 

“Get some shut-eye,” he gristled, “you’ll be drivin’ once the sun comes up.”

“Where the fuck are you taking me?” you groaned.

“Dunno, far,” he answered bluntly, “no talk, just sleep.”

“I’m not a dog,” you muttered.

“Keep actin’ like one and I’ll get you a leash,” he snorted.

“I really don’t get why you don’t just take the car--”

“As useless as I’d agree you are, you’ve seen my face and the longer I keep you from running back and snitching, the better chance I got,” he adjusted the seat as he chewed the last of the salted meat, “but there is another option?”

“There is?” you asked.

“Yeah, I could kill you,” he chuckled.

You swallowed and exhaled as you leaned your head back heavily. You peeked over at him as he focused on the road and as much as you wanted to leap from the moving car, you knew that would be just as fatal. So you huddled down and closed your eyes.

“Would you turn that down?” you nodded at the radio.

“You askin’ me to turn down a classic?” he turned the knob and Robert Plant’s voice whined from the speakers, “a nice little lullaby for you.”

You closed your eyes and turned in the seat so that you faced the door, the belt strained against you awkwardly but you didn’t care. You crossed your legs and tried to drown out the music. Even without the racket, you wouldn’t sleep easy.

💀

You woke after hours of uncomfortable sleep in the car seat. The car was still as you yawned and groaned as your stiff muscles rebelled. You sat up as you heard the sound of water hitting the dirt. The man was just outside with his back to you, pissing on the side of the road.

You looked to the ignition but the keys weren’t there. He finished up and zipped up noisily. He opened the door and bent to look at you. He kept his hand on the door as his eyes met yours.

“Get out, stretch your legs, you gotta piss, there’s a bush,” he jabbed his other thumb behind him.

“Really?”

“Or you can keep holding it,” he shrugged and closed the door. He walked around the front of the car and pushed an arm over his head to stretch his shoulder. You took a breath as your irritation bubbled and reached for the door handle.

You got out and held in a grunt. You walked around the back of the car and glanced around. The bush was small and poor cover. Even so, you really had to go as you spent your only opportunity trying to sneak out of the station. You looked at him and neared the leafy bunch. He blinked at you and turned his back.

“I hear any funny business,” he said over his shoulder, “you can piss your pants instead.”

You shoved your pants down and squatted. You let out a steady stream and almost sighed as the pressure left your pelvis. When you finished, you waited until you were relatively dry and pulled your pants back up.

“All done,” you said as you went back to the car. He shook his head and pointed you to his side.

“You drive, sign says there’s a motel about an hour down the road,” he opened the driver’s door.

You got in and he snapped the door shut before he went to the other side. He settled in the seat and slid the keys into the ignition, turning it until the engine rumbled. He leaned back and pushed his fingers back against his palm.

“Right, let’s go.”

You sniffed and pulled back onto the empty highway. You’d never been down that one before, an old country road with sparse exits. He pushed on his jaw until his neck snapped and you winced. You hated the noise.

“So, what do I call you then?” you asked.

He was silent and you felt him watching you, “like you care.”

“I don’t but looks like I’m stuck with you, so…”

“Mmm,” he pulled out some more jerky, “Frank.”

You nodded and stared at the endless road ahead. He said your name before you could.

“Saw it in your wallet,” he explained.

You drove in silence from there until he flipped the radio on. He chose a country station and you silently cursed his taste. You followed the signs and he pointed you to the old motel as you approached it. You thought of hitting the gas but that would do nothing but piss him off and probably get you hurt. Worse, you’d be stuck in the car with him for who knew how long.

You steered into the lot and he yanked the keys out of the ignition before you could. You mirrored him as he got out but he stomped over to your side. He leaned in as he lowered his voice.

“You can play along,” he pushed his jacket open and showed the butt of his gun, “or there’s still room in the trunk.”

“Fine,” you muttered.

“I mean it, you try anything,” he rested his hand on the gun, “you really wanna get someone else hurt?”

You nodded and chewed your lip, “I get it, okay?”

He pulled his jacket closed again and took your elbow, ushering you up to the front of the motel. You wriggled away as you reached the door and entered ahead of him. He drew you back as he followed you through the door and cleared his throat. The woman at the front desk looked up over her glasses and set aside the novel with a shirtless man on the cover.

“Good afternoon,” she sang as she swiveled in her chair, “how can I help you two today?”

“We need a room,” Frank said as he pulled out a wad of money.

“Deposit’s three-hundred, sir,” the woman replied, “can I get a name?”

“Ben Tacker,” he lied smoothly as he counted out the money.

“Alright, and a piece of ID?” she asked.

“Funny thing,” he peeled a fifty free and held it over the desk to her, “I lost it.”

She stared at him and slowly took the bill. She shoved it in her pocket and counted the rest out. She handed him a paper to sign and he scribbled without caring. She handed him the key and he thanked her in the same gruff voice.

“You two have fun,” she called after him as he swung open the door and waved you out.

He chuckled and shook his head, “sure will,” he said before the door shut again.

He looked at the number on the tag and led you to the door with the same. He unlocked it and waited for you to enter. The lock clicked as he trailed you and brushed past you as he went to the closet. You watched in confusion as he pulled out a stack of extra bedding and shared shredding the tinged top sheet.

He took one of the strips as he neared you. You backed up against the door and he wrenched you away as he pulled the single chair up behind you. He sat you down and held your wrist against the narrow arm of the chair. As he began to wind the strip around your wrist, you twisted and he squeezed so hard your fingers went numb.

“Can’t trust ya but I gotta get some sleep,” he growled as he finished tying your first hand. He went back and took another strip of linen, he repeated the process on your other arm and both your legs.

“And what if I have to pee?” you pulled against the bounds but only added to your discomfort.

“Hold it,” he shrugged and took the remote. He flipped on the television and pushed the control into your hand, “there. I don’t wanna hear another word.”

“You’re not serious? You’re just gonna leave me like this?”

“I coulda left you in the trunk,” he turned and walked around the foot of the bed, he plopped down with a sigh, “you should be thanking me?”

He untied his boots and kicked them off. He pulled off his jacket and tossed it over the far side of the bed. He set the gun on the table beside the lamp and stretched his arms behind his head. As he laid back, he shifted awkwardly and dug in his pocket, he tossed your credit card up onto the table with a flick.

“Now, don’t go pullin’ shit or we won’t get that deposit back,” he groaned as he wiggled to get comfortable, “not my money so I don’t really care either way.”

“You… asshole,” you huffed and he smirked.

“I think an asshole woulda just taken the car,” he said, “and left you with a hole in your head.”

You clamped your lips together and shook your head. You hit a button and searched through the channels. You didn’t really care what you watched, you wouldn’t be able to pay attention anyway. You stopped at an old episode of NewsRadio and let the remote rest on the end of the arm.

The laugh track filled the interminable silence and after some time, low snores rose from the bed. You peeked over at Frank, his arm slung over his face as his chest rose and fell steadily. He might be irritating but you had enough sense to be afraid of him. If you had to guess, he was ex-military and judging by your inopportune meeting, he was also a wanted man.

You fidgeted as much as you could in the chair and turned back to the screen. It was as if the recorded guffaws were at your expense. You slumped as the cotton chafed around your wrists and yawned. Your back was still stiff from your nap in the car and the chair was little better with its thin pleather cushioning and short back.

💀

You didn’t remember falling asleep, not until you woke up in terrible pain. Your head hung over as you were nearly folded over your lap entirely, your bound arms holding you just above. You groaned as you pushed yourself up and it sent a pang up your neck. You heard the rattle of pipes and looked over at the empty bed.

You let out a strained breath and moved your head side to side, just slightly as the pain lingered and throbbed with each pivot. You balled your hands in fists and tried to twist your arms against the linen. You flexed your legs too, wiggling your feet as you tried to loosen the ties.

The chair began to rock as you fought against your restraints. The remote fell to the floor and the television kept blaring. As you were sure you just needed a little more, the chair tipped and you bounced off the side of the bed as it crashed down onto its side. The impact had your head spinning and shower faucet squeaked off.

You kept moving your arms and legs, desperate to free yourself before he could discover you. There was no hiding your intent anymore. The bathroom door opened and your heart swelled. Shit. You hissed as you heard his footsteps and looked up as his shadow loomed over you.

Frank stood in nothing but a towel, his thickly muscles torso still damp as he glared down at you. You cringed and tried not to see more than you wanted.

“I gotta take a leak,” you lied, well, not exactly untrue.

“Uh huh,” he hummed doubtfully and grabbed the chair. 

He hauled you back up and planted the chair back in place. He shook his head at you and retreated. He pulled one of the white robes from the hook on the wall and pulled it over the towel. He tied the belt tightly and dropped the other layer before he disappeared back into the bathroom.

When he emerged again, you watched him dully, “I really do have to go,” you said.

He ignored you and checked his gun. He slid open the drawer and set it inside.

“Well,” he came around the bed, “I got some bad news for you, There’s no window in there,” he grabbed the strip around your left wrist and unknotted it, “so, I’ll give you two minutes.”

He untied you and watched as you rubbed your wrists. You stood with a wince as your legs ached but he didn’t back up. You sidled past him and he turned to keep his dark eyes on you as you approached the bathroom. You swung the door shut and nearly collapsed on the other side.

The bathroom smelled of the gardenia scented soap that came with the room and there was still moisture in the air. You relieved yourself quickly and stood to gaze into the mirror. You looked awful, you felt awful. You splashed your face with cold water and leaned heavily on the porcelain. 

Whether you listened to that man or not, you were fairly certain the result would be the same. You could see it now, the black barrel of the gun, his finger on the trigger. You shuddered and shook out your hands as if to get rid of your nerves. You stood straight and groaned as you stretched out the knots in your limbs and back.

You went back into the hotel room as you rubbed your neck, the needling pain still buried at the base of your skull.

“Tell you what,” he said as he sat on the bed and aimed the remote at the screen, “I can tie you up again or you can make both our lives easier and just lay down.”

“Is there a third option?” you winced as another jolt went through your spine.

He snickered and pointed to the pillows, “we’re leavin’ early,” he said, “so you can sleep now or sleep in the car.”

You gave no response as you went around the other side of the bed. You eased yourself down against the pillow and let out an unwitting groan. It felt good to lay down. You turned onto your side, your face away from him, and he finally stopped switching stations.

You closed your eyes and hugged yourself as his weight rested at the bottom of the bed. It wasn’t hard to drift off as the pain chased you into unconsciousness and the stress of the last day shrouded your mind. You only hoped he wasn’t waiting for you in your dreams.

💀

The night's stay was taken out of the deposit and you were back on the road to nowhere. The man gave you gruff directions as he closed his eyes in the passenger seat. At night, you switched and you grew complacent as the endless travel wore on your wits. You didn't know why he wouldn't just let you go. He could take the car and the last of your money and just leave you alone. Likely the separation would be preferable to both parties. 

Another motel after a week of driving and you were thankful to be standing still. You were asleep on your feet as you dragged your feet behind your grumpy captor and as you leaned on the front desk and bid farewell to even more of your cash, you barely processed the conversation happening around you.

Frank's arm wrapped around your waist and he pulled you close. You flinched and sneered at him. You felt so gross, you didn’t want to be touched, let alone by him. The desk clerk handed him a key and chuckled.

“It’s been a long trip,” Frank said, “think we just need some R and R.”

You blinked at him stupidly as he turned you around and swept you out the door. Outside, you shoved him away and stumbled as he laughed at your pathetic effort.

“What the fuck was that about?” you scowled.

“Well, you looked like you were about to keel over, just tryna keep you on your feet,” he jingled the keys and led you up to the second level.

“Don’t do that again,” you mumbled as you waited for him to unlock the door.

“Sure, honey,” he said mockingly as he slid the key out and kicked the door open, “come on.”

Just like last time, he locked the door and you looked around at the small room, a single queen and another rickety chair. 

“Please, don’t,” you said as you crossed the room, “I’ll stay, just don’t tie me up. I need to lay down.”

“You need to wash the road off ya,” he quipped as he peeked into the bathroom, “ladies first.”

You stared at him and tilted your head. He might have kept you alive so far but you could hardly trust him. After all, you weren’t exactly there by choice. You tiptoed forward, warily eyeing him as you got closer. He stepped back and crossed his arms.

“You might not be able to smell ya but I can,” he nodded through the door, “ten minutes.”

You stepped inside and he snapped the door shut behind you. You sat on the toilet and rubbed your eyes. You looked down at your clothes, rumpled and stained with sweat and filth. You took a moment and stood to strip off the layers one at a time. 

You cranked on the shower and stepped under the stream. The shower curtain rang as you pulled it around the tub and you basked in the hot water. It felt good and your muscles relaxed as rivulets trailed down your skin. You scrubbed with the vague floral scented soap and scrubbed until you felt a little more like yourself.

Reluctantly, you turned the faucet off and reached for the towel on the bar. You lowered your foot onto the tile and patted yourself as you stared at your blurred silhouette in the steamy mirror. A knock sounded at the door and had you wrapping yourself in the white cotton.

“Ay, they got some machines here,” his voice scratched, “should probably wash those rags up while we’re here.”

You tucked the towel in at the top and gathered up your clothes. You neared the door hesitantly and cracked it open. You peeked out at him as he watched you impatiently.

“Figure you can’t run naked… well, if you try, it won’t be so easy,” he remarked. You shoved your clothes through wordlessly, “there’s some robes out here when you’re done with your sauna, princess.”

You rolled your eyes and shut the door. You heard him chuckle and move around the room as he grumbled under his breath. You waited for the other door to open and close before you emerged. 

You took the robe folded over the bottom of the bed and tied the belt tight around your waist. You sat on the bed, your back to the frame and switched on the television. You thought of running but he was right, even if you eluded him, you doubted there were many who wouldn’t do worse to a barely clothed woman, not out there in the middle of nowhere.

He returned shortly and dropped a haul of processed foods on the bed from the vending machines. He wore a robe as well but it was smaller on him and the flimsy white slippers provided with the room. He shuffled through his trove of salt and sugar. 

He took the two cups and placed them on the small round table and filled the kettle from the bathroom sink. He plugged it in and flipped the switch. “Hope you like chicken noodle,” he said.

You read the guide on the TV and punched in the channel playing re-runs of Law and Order. It was a grim choice but you just needed to disassociate from the dingy motel. The kettle clicked and his shadow flickered in your peripheral. Frank sat and the mattress dipped beside you. He held out a steaming cup with a plastic spoon sticking out of it.

“Thanks,” you took it and leaned back as you stirred the boiling soup.

“We’ll grab some burgers at the next stop,” he grizzled, “Fuckin’ starvin’.”

You said nothing and stared at the lawyers arguing on screen with the detectives. They were trying to figure out how a woman ended up in a motel with marks around her neck; dead. A chill went through you and you slowly glanced over at the man beside you.

He squinted and returned your gaze. His mouth slanted and he shook his head, “really?” he challenged nonchalantly.

You took a deep breath and turned back to the screen. You sipped at the hot broth and scooped up noodles as you tried not to think about being strangled to death on the bathroom floor. 

When you finished, you set the empty cup aside and slid under the covers as the afterglow of the shower weighed down your limbs. You just wanted to sleep. If he did decide to kill you then, you wouldn’t even know the difference.

He grabbed a candy bar from the mess and sat back, jarring the whole bed as he did. You rolled onto your side and pulled a pillow over your head. You squeezed your eyelids shut and tuned out the old tube television and the chewing of the man behind you. Sleep crept up on you in haze, half-aware of the muffled voices and the movement on the other side of the bed.

You pushed the pillow away as it grew warm beneath and sleepily pulled it under your head. You heard the distant noise of the pipes. Groggy, you sank back into a shallow sleep as the constant noise lulled you.

You were disturbed again when you were jostled and the television shut off. You felt him behind you and wiggled closer to the edge. He barely seemed bothered as he stretched out and you felt the heat radiating from his body. You drifted off once more, dreaming about the eternal highway and Frank’s bristly orders.

You snorted awake, this time from a haze so deep it felt as if you’d been drowning. You felt the arm over the middle, heavy and firm, and the hot breath on your neck. Your lashes fluttered, threatening to close again, but your adrenaline forced your eyes open. 

He was flush to your back, his hard body against your back as his hand was slid into the opening of your robe. His rough fingertips rested against your soft torso, just beneath your breast.

“Frank,” you rasped and tugged on his wrist, “the fuck are you doing?”

He groaned and shushed you as he nestled closer. You went rigid as you felt a prod against your ass. You grabbed him more firmly but could not move his hand as he squeezed you tighter. His hand glided up against your resistance and he cupped your chest. You gasped and pulled at his long fingers.

“Frank, get your fuckin’ hands off of me--”

He ignored you and rolled his thumb over your nipple. Your breath caught in your throat and tried to push yourself up. He held you down as he snaked his other arm beneath your.

“Honey, just relax,” he said drowsily, “I ain’t hurtin’ ya.”

“Get off!” you slapped the back of his hand.

“Mmmm,” he purred and nuzzled the back of your head, “you smell like flowers.”

“Frank--”

“What else are we gonna do, honey?” he asked and his breath tickled your ear, “hmmm.”

He nibbled at your lobe and a chill went through you. You pressed your hands to his and knew he could feel the frantic beating of your heart. You shivered as his arousal poked against you again. You gulped and gasped as suddenly rolled onto his back and pulled you up onto him.

Your robe fell loose as you laid atop him, your back to his hard torso as his other hand roved lower. You squirmed and grasped at his wrists. He easily ignored you as he kneaded your tit and his other hand slid along your vee. You held your breath and pushed your legs together.

“That’s your problem, you just need to let go,” he hummed and brushed his fingertips down the line of your leg, “come on and open up for me.”

You shook your head against his shoulder and he pinched your thigh. You yelped and he did it again. You hit his hand and he laughed, a deep rumble that flowed through you. He dug his nails into your flesh as he continued to fondle your chest with his other hand. 

You whimpered as he threatened to break the skin and let your legs fall open around his. He slid his fingers between your folds and over your clit. You gasped and he swirled his fingertips, sending a bolt of electricity through you. You gripped his thick wrist and gritted your teeth as you tried to resist the fire in your core.

“What d’ya think you’re still around for, huh?” he slithered as he poked around your cunt, pressing his fingers to your entrance.

You murmured a weak protest as your eyes rolled up and you stared at the wall above the bed. You huffed between your teeth as he shoved two fingers inside you. You clenched around them and your nerves rippled with the wave of pleasure.

His palm rubbed against your clit as he rocked his hand slowly and you shook your head, fighting the unwelcome thrumming as it pulsed deep within you.

His fingers slipped easily in and out of you as you slickened and reached back unthinkingly to curl your fingers into his sides. He moved his hand faster, the friction building to a spark. You closed your eyes as your nails pressed against his muscles and your legs bent around his.

You spasmed as you came, your surrender declared with a pathetic squeak. He didn’t stop until you were panting uncontrollably, your head lolling on his shoulder as you bit the tip of your tongue. When he pulled his fingers out, you whined at the sudden emptiness.

He rubbed his wet fingers along your cunt and spread your lips as he snaked his other hand beneath your leg. He tore open the tails of his robe and angled his tip against your opening. He urged you onto him, sliding you down his body until your back arched to accept him. You moaned as he entered you and the overwhelming fullness fueled your helpless voice.

“Hmm, honey,” her purred as his hot breath touched your scalp, “just what you needed, isn’t it?”

You sputtered as he moved his hips beneath you, rocking into you from below as he planted his feet in the mattress. He lifted you carefully and kept an arm around your middle as his other toyed with your sensitive bud. His thick breaths clouded around you as he moved your body in time with his.

He hooked his arm around around your left leg and pulled it higher, doing the same with your right as he fucked you harder. He reached from below to keep his thumb on your clit, your legs folded against your chest. He growled in your ear and bit the lobe again. You clawed at the blanket below him as he used you so easily, your shame smothered by your pleasure.

You orgasmed again and as your walls clenched around him, he groaned and his legs slipped down straight. He turned onto his side and quickly rolled you onto your stomach as he forced your legs down. He pinned you beneath him, weaving his arm through yours as he pulled them back as his twined his fingers behind your head.

He kept you pinned beneath him as his flesh clapped against yours loudly. You moans seeped into the pillow and his animalistic grunts punctuated each thrust. The bed shook beneath your bodies and he pushed his thigh up around yours. He sat up, still bucking his hips as he pulled your arms back and forced you to arch with him.

He gripped your elbows as he hammered into you. Your moans turned to whines as he pounded your walls and you gulped down air desperately. He growled and you felt his body tense as his hold on you broke. He shoved your head down against the pillow, almost suffocating you as he once more sped up.

He snarled and his motion grew spasmodic. He slowed and his hips jolted into you in jagged thrust. He emptied himself into you as his long fingers stretched over your scalp. Finally, he stopped, still straddling you as he heaved a shaky sigh. He sniffed and trembled as he ran his hand down your back.

“Really makes me happy I didn’t put a bullet in ya,” he rasped, “real…” he squeezed your hips and pushed in as deep as he could go, “happy.”

[hard--mode]

Here's the notes for everything that would happen up until the end of the story.... as far as I had it figured out. You'll notice things are a lot less fleshed out the later things go. That's a big reason why this never got finished. the longer I tried to keep the thing running, the more I realized I never had any idea what I wanted to actually DO with this story which made it pretty hard for me to keep up. it's hard to write a story you're trying to take seriously if all you really have are jokes, it turns out.

I haven't reread any of this or edited it at all so who knows what kind of notes I might have written in between things haha

P: so as i was saying about undyne-

C: who’s undyne?

Everyone freezes. Chara just walked right up to papyrus without being noticed. Paps freaks out for a sec before he pulls sans into a huddle. Chara frowns and tries to peek around.

~Montage of papyrus’s excitement and harder puzzles, death montage

~Junior jumble: its sudoku now

Chara’s doing puzzles and sees flowey spying. They shout him over

C: HEY! still following me, loser? Don’t you have anything better to do? (but they smile)

F: somebody’s gotta make sure you don’t get killed too much out here

Flowey pops up closer to them

C: nah, I’m fine! I’ve got that reset power!

F: not for long considering how much you use it (mumbles. Rolls eyes??) (some depiction of chara dying a lot in the bg)

C: by the way…. In the ruins you were telling me to use it… care to tell me more about it since you seem to know so much?

F: I-... uh… well you already know the most of it. It just resets you back to your last SAVE point like nothing happened. Only beings with a powerful SOUL can use it, so monsters with their weak souls can’t.

Chara stops their puzzle work and sits to even the heights: Can flowers?

F: what the heck are you-... oh, no no no. I’m different.

C: so you have the power too.

F: No! I mean-, i used to before you came around. Yeah.

C: so you’ve done resets. (urging him on)

F: yep.

Chara waits a while: ...thats all you have to say?

F: yep

Travel scenes from here on out depict chara and flowey together

Gauntlet:

Flowey remarks that he doesn't remember a save point being before it. Chara goes along and gets paps’ bit. He does to activate it

C: wait this isn't for real right? U can't be srs!!!

P: yeah I am, this is hard mode!

Just show chara repeatedly spawning at the save and running back in with flowey watching them

Then cut to the end chara on the other side of it panting and exhausted, papyrus shocked but also beaming

P: wow you did it!! I'm so proud of u human! I didn’t think you would actually be able to get through it--- I mean- drat! Foiled again! I'll get u one of these times!

Papyrus runs off and Chara watches him with a look of wonder in their eyes.

F: don’t get too excited. his pride is cheap, he’s proud of everyone and every thing

Chara grumbles and marches forward: whatever. I don’t hear you saying you’re proud of me, so why do I have to listen to what you have to say

F: You know, you’re gonna have to fight him soon. Didn’t sans say so? What are you going to do then, die over and over until you give up or are you going to try to murder him just like you did with Toriel? :)

C: I am not! I’m gonna talk him out of it and go right past him like everyone else. Who knows! Maybe he won’t even fight me because he’s that cool. Even if he does, he’s probably a wimp anyways.

F: I wouldn’t be so sure! I bet you don’t stand a chance.

C: shut up! Quit following me if you’re gonna be this useless.

Paps fight

As papyrus carries their body to the shed to rest. Opens on their vision returning and they see their hands hanging toward the ground.

C: why didn’t you kill me? You’re stronger than everyone else, you could easily do it. Why dont you finish me off so everyone can leave or whatever it is you need me to do? Why did you hold back?

P: OH! YOU’RE AWAKE!

C: you held back…

P: OF COURSE i DID! I COULD NEVER KILL YOU, YOU’RE MY-- I HOPE I’M NOT BEING TOO FORWARD, BUT I LIKE TO THINK OF YOU AS MY FRIEND! AND EVEN THOUGH WE DO NEED YOUR SOUL, YOU DESERVE A FIGHTING CHANCE TO DO… WHATEVER IT IS YOU’RE TRYING TO DO.

Chara is too shocked and confused by the sentiment: I don’t… I don’t understand?

P: WHAT’S SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT A FRIEND NOT KILLING YOU? HUMANS ARE SO STRANGE ...OH! I SEE NOW! THE REASON WHY YOU CARRY YOUR KNIFE LIKE THAT. IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE MORE AFRAID OF US MONSTERS THAN WE COULD EVER BE OF YOU!

He sets them down in the shed on the dog bed.

P: I’M SORRY, HUMAN! I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU MORE WARNING IF I HAD KNOWN HOW YOU FELT.

C: then… does that mean you’re going to let me go?

P: ABSOLUTELY NOT! I ALREADY CALLED UNDYNE TO MEET ME SO SHE CAN TAKE YOU! AND YOU NEED TO REST NOW AFTER ALL THAT!

C: !! I-I don’t know who Undyne is, but I can’t do that. I’m in a hurry to get out of here.

P: HMM… IF YOU’RE IN A HURRY THEN… NO, NO YOU CAN’T! WE NEED YOUR SOUL, I CAN’T JUST LET YOU LEAVE. UNDYNE’S REALLY COOL TOO, YOU’LL LIKE HER!

C: No, I have to go.

P: AGH, WELL… I SUPPOSE IF YOU CAN GET PAST ME BEFORE I CAN CATCH YOU, THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO. BUT I WON’T GO EASY ON YOU!

Cut to chara walking toward waterfall, papyrus calling after them to come back and hang out sometime. They keep walking and mutter to themself: Sorry, but I’ll get out of here before that ever happens.

WATERFALL

They see monster kid and side eye sans as they charge in, hurriedly.

Chara keeps flowey around and asks him to read the words for him. FLowey says it’s not important at all to anything they’re doing. It’s just monster history junk that means nothing if chara’s trying to leave. Chara’s like shut up cmon help me out maybe there's clues. FLowey reads some history stuff in waterfall treating it like shit they already know

F: why do you care about all this garbage anyway?

C: I dunno, I guess it just sounds familiar. Like a story I heard a long time ago.

Chara stops suddenly and checks their phone. Flowey asks what’s up

C: i thought it rang… you didn’t hear-

The phone starts ringing. Papyrus is cheerfully on the other end and they walk and talk.

He tells them about how he heard so many horrible things about humans and the surface but chara was much nicer than he ever expected. Chara asks where he heard that and he says a flower told him. Chara covers the receiver and looks around for flowey, suspicions of him raised.

Montage w monster kid and umbrella

Chara falls from undyne’s spear attack and wakes up in the trash with flowey over them.

F: hey, wake up. I can tell you’re not dead so hurry up and get moving.

Chara’s kind of bummed: she killed me four times back there. And it wasn’t even a fight. I couldn’t talk her down or… i couldn’t even talk to her, I could barely see her.

F: what, are you giving up or something? You know she can kill you as much as she wants and you aren’t gonna die.

C: I know that! I know this is just like a game where you can keep on going but… it hurts. And it’s exhausting.

F: what will you do then? Sit here in this trash and do nothing?

C: *sigh* no. I’m just feeling down in the dumps.

They smile and get up.

As they’re walking out, they hear a click and someone to tell them to “hold it”

Mad dummys behind them and she just has a gun. Pointed directly at chara. She starts on her thing about the cousin and then blook saves the day.

Chara meets up with blook again. They go to where the snail races used to be. It’s all busted and unused

C: what’s this supposed to be…?

B: oh…. this used to be a snail farm…. And this was a race course…. For snails…. But a long time ago people started to call the races “insensitive” so we had to close them…. Sorry you can’t have any fun racing snails…

C: why was it insensitive…?

B: ...i’d… rather not talk about it………..

Timeskip

C: hey flowey! What’s up with this place and snails?

F:...i wouldnt know.

montage

After waterfall where undyne says how many souls they have

C: flowey… if they have 6 human souls, that means 6 others fell down and died here, so…

F: what?

C: i just- i mean you were the first one i met-

F: no, no, no, ive never killed anyone. You’re the only human i’ve seen since i woke up

Chara relaxes: ok. So you dont know anything about them.

F: no. i heard some things from toriel, not much. It’s too late to try asking her, but she’s seen all of them. She was there at the beginning even.

C: the beginning?

F: you know…. When humans started falling down here and monsters started killing them.

Chara goes silent in thought: wait… how… long has this been going on? How old is toriel?

F: dunno

Chara after having a rough time: it’s hard, but no matter what happens i can just keep trying. I’ll make it out of this! You believe in me right, flowey?

F: no i think you should give up.

Page/chapter ends there. Next is chara going up to fight undyne.

Open on a riff on the “long ago” cutscene that chara cuts off by saying they already know this story

Undyne screams SHUT UP!!! I’m doing my HEROIC MONOLOGUE!! Whatever, I bet you haven’t heard the part about the King and Queen’s human child who died of illness and their other son who was killed by the humans when he tried to return their body to the surface?!

C: No I think I heard that one too? Why are you telling me all this anyways??

U: because this is an UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENE!! NYAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!

Chara’s getting their ass beat and on low hp: I’ll die in a hit or two. But that’s fine because I’ll just start this over. I’ll start from… where was the last save point…

A vision of them with flowey. Their eyes go red and the flashback cuts in between shots of them running from undyne

F: I think you should give up

Ch: what… give up?? I thought you were on my side with all the telling me to keep going and-and the hanging out with me?!

F: as if you had any other choice but to keep going! We both know you don’t.

C: so you’ve just been following this whole time waiting for me to give up and die, huh?! Why, are you trying to steal my soul just like everybody else?!?

F: it doesn’t matter how hard you try, you’re going to die! And die and die and die! You can reset as much as you want, it won’t change that! So what if I am waiting for you to give up? You’re the last thing keeping monsters trapped down here. If you give up, you’ll give everyone what they want!

C: I thought you wanted to help me?! I thought you were my friend!

F: I would never be friends with a human! You’re all nothing but killing machines!

C: I haven’t killed anyone!

F: You killed Toriel! No number of resets can change what you did! You’re a horrible, disgusting human just like all the others and everyone would be happier if you were dead!

Flowey could say something about dying down here is better than their inevitable death on the surface. Their death would at least be worth something. Mean something

Chara escapes the fight, undyne collapses, and they walk away. they tell themselves they won’t give up. They don’t need help, especially not from that dumb flower. They’ll live to spite him and everyone else who tries to kill them

Chara goes in and meets alphys and overall is p meh abt it bc bad mood. Alphys helping them through the underground makes them talk to themselves about how they dont need flowey, they can do this themself. Friends are no good.

hotland is as normal. probably figure out some indication of things not right. make the game seem broken bc they arent supposed to get so far like this

Chara meets with sans at mtt resort for food reluctantly. Lets him say his piece. After he’s done threatening to kill them chara says to his face that they really don’t like him.

Need some hubbub about them having to kill asgore to get out. Theyll be like yeah I know that (somehow)... oh but I need a plan… how will i come up with a plan..

Flowey finally appears to chara again just before they get to new home and tries to talk them out of leaving. Disparaging the surface and telling them they could live happily down here. Chara says no, it’s too hard because people are constantly hunting them down and being the last soul, no ones going to stop that. He says that he’s sorry for the way he was before

Chara smiles back, and then looks away: What you said before… about.. My inevitable death on the surface…

F: that was… don’t worry about that.

C: are you afraid of it?

F: well- yeah, it’s a dangerous place. Everyone knows that.

C: I’ve died a lot more times down here than I ever did up there.

A beat

C: you go back and forth a lot between talking about how I should stay down here because it’s better… but also if I die down here… everyone gets to go free… to the horrible, awful surface.

F: uh,, did I say all that…? I may have contradicted myself a little… I guess… in the end I just wanted an excuse for you to stay around. I really don’t want you to die.

C: so you did see me as a friend after all?

F: well…you reminded me of someone who was my friend. I wish we could have been friends.

C: Do you think… If I reset back to the beginning and did this again, if I said the right things… we could have been?

F: No… You could be as nice to me or as mean to me as you want. No matter how many times you reset, some things never change.

C: ...Did you ever… have to reset because you killed someone?

F: ……….once… and then I never reset ever again. The power to reset… makes you do bad things. It’s wrong. I had to stop because i knew… I’d make someone really upset if I kept messing around.

C: well, in that case… I guess I’ll just have to get the rest of the way out of here without any resets!

Flowey smiles: I dunno, keep one or two under your belt. You’re a pretty big klutz.

C: Thanks for helping me out of here, flowey. Even if you just did it because you were begged.

Can you imagine a more paranoid flowey who is less interested in attacking you and regaining the reset ability, but is pleased af that you have the reset ability because that means you can't die, and instead he spends the entire game trying to convince you that humanity is hopeless. That there is nothing on the surface world returning to. That it's safer, down here.

he's part of the reason why things are so much harder

he's the one that starts the rumors about the dangers of teh surface world

there's a definite sense of paranoia all across the board

When they approach new home, flowey appears one last time and grabs chara by the hand, telling them not to go. They can live in the underground, they’ve made a lot of friends here. Chara says that they have to go, they’ll find a way to get out without killing asgore. Flowey says that he tried to stop them, this is as far as he’ll go. This is goodbye. They bid their farewells and chara goes along, but flowey secretly follows them, much less detectable than ever before. It’s revealed when he’s hiding with the flowers.

Chara walks up to new home, regarding it as a vaguely familiar sight. They walk down the many halls knowing exactly where to go. The monsters speak as they go through the motions. They find a cookbook in the kitchen with a page for snail pie missing. Chara mumbles about already knowing the story and that they should all shut up. They walk more quickly to stay ahead of them. Then one mentions the snail pie and chara stops dead in their tracks. No that’s not how it happened- they stop, and take back off.

They are stopped by sans in the judgement hall, glaring at him.

S: well I had a whole speech to give ya, but you look like you’re in a hurry. You’re a weird kid, but you’re fine. The king’s up ahead.

OTHER alternative: chara realizes something’s wrong and runs back to get everyone, probably threatening to kill asgore to convince them to come quickly. Sans is avoided due to the mob approaching behind them “I heard the word that you’re on your way to kill the king.” c: are you here to stop me? “Nah. But you’d better have a good plan to back yourself up, kid. King’s up ahead”

They run up to asgore, no nonsense. Some time is taken to progress things. As they leave the throne room, flowey watches from the flowers, chara looks back to confirm he’s there.

Asgore draws up the souls, the fight is about to engage, before he can smash “MERCY” chara yells: ASRIEL. Get the souls.

Everything stops. Flowey is behind them, stunned and confused. Chara turns and asks him what he’s waiting for. Hurry up and take the souls before everyone else gets here. Nearly every last monster is coming, if he can become godlike and absorb them, it will be enough strength to break the barrier.

Flowey is confused, how do they know that? Chara tells him he did it before. Doesn’t he remember? Doesn’t he remember them?

Either flowey does it and something happens, or flowey waits too long and chaos erupts which gets them killed, and then chara and flowey have to meet up and workshop.

Final fight:

He probably says some shit about frisk and how he cant lose frisk again, chara must insist that theyre not frisk. When they say their name is chara, he hesitates for only a moment. Finally, when chara’s pinned and about to seriously die…

C: you remember it now too, don’t you? It took me a while, I couldn’t remember a thing until i started hearing your name around. You’re an all powerful god now, you should be able to remember it all better than me

A: shut up.

C: would frisk want us to fight like this?! Would frisk want you to kill your own sibling?!

A: c-.... You’re… you’re really chara?

He lets them go

They reach the conclusion that frisk messed with everything and put them here with no memories so they could do something frisk could never do. Frisk thinks they deserve to live, no matter how much the two may disagree. They have to play along. Asriel is a god and can use his powers to break the barrier and bring EVERYONE back to life so they can live together happily.

go to final fight and everyones already there, things are very confused, flowey takes the souls and things glitch out (screen phases between bosses) and chara realizes this isnt how things are supposed to be, tells asriel theyre sorry for their baggage but he doesnt understand bc he isnt theirs, and then they gotta find frisk somehow

OR... they realize things in the speech and don't go to fight asgore bc theyre finding flowey... they feign fighting asgore and then suddenly tell flowey to take the souls("Asriel! get the souls!" and thats the first time they call him by name)...? i like that a bit better. they start going on about crazy shit that makes roided out flowey kind of lose it at them which leads to them apologizing to their own asriel but then realizing they need to find frisk

but HOW do they find frisk

The end shows chara asriel and frisk hugging eachother, all alive and well. Then the two are “processing…” and remember that oh, theyve done some dark messed up stuff.

[blouisparadise]

hi! just wondering if you know what fics from the abo fest are bl?

We’ve compiled a list below! As always, it can be difficult to check larger collections like this, so if anyone sees a fic here that shouldn’t be or finds one that we missed, please let us know! There are lots of amazing fics here.

Enjoy!

1) Rose’s Fortune | Mature | 5055 words

Omega Louis takes one of his siblings to the doctors (check up, possible broken bone or possibly injections?) and the new Dr is Alpha Harry. Harry is great with kids and Louis is smitten. Harry is smitten too but attempts to act professionally and keep his distance whenever Louis visits the Drs with his siblings or to pick up his prescriptions. But Harry realises there is no reason for him not to make a move as Louis isn't under his care.

2) This Love’s A Luxury | Mature | 5623 words

Omega Louis is a hairdresser. Alpha Harry just wants his hands on him.

3) Take Me To The Stars | Explicit | 5840 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Staring at his darling daughter, in the middle of the pasta aisle, Louis found himself on the edge of a neurotic breakdown.

"It’s your birthday tomorrow! And your papa better not do anything to muck it up! Because your dada worked very hard to organise it! And all of your aunties and grannies and granddads and friends will be there!” Louis continued in a sweet sing-song voice that seemed to get increasingly frantic as he continued. “And if your papa is in rut, then what? What’ll we do, honey girl? Your dada will be too busy! And your papa will be too horn-”

“Louis,” Harry interrupted, touching Louis’ arm. “I’ll be okay. It’s probably not even my rut. I can appreciate you… all of you… even when I’m not in rut.”

Louis looked at him skeptically, imagining the shitshow that would be Harry in rut, surrounded by family and friends, at their child’s first birthday party. “I hope you’re right, H.”

4) Dare You To Move | Not Rated | 6060 words

The one where Harry falls in love with the omega who is the brain behind the omega march he joined.

5) I'm Asking You Please, Don't Talk Dirty to Me | Explicit | 9777 words

Prompt #68: Harry’s best friend Louis is a nice, well-mannered omega, at least when it comes to sex talk. He has always been closed off and quiet... until Harry hears how Louis talks during his heat. Now, it's all Harry can think about before his upcoming rut... (Original prompt wording edited for clarity)

6) When Tomorrow Comes | Explicit | 11111 words

When Louis and Niall are partnered up to complete a project on Omega scents and how they effect the nesting behaviours of Alphas, little does Louis know that the course of his life is about to be forever altered.

7) Hint: I Want To Be Yours | Mature | 11157 words

The one where Harry unconsciously starts acting like Louis' alpha after they spend his rut together and Louis finds ways to make sure Harry's affection doesn't end.

8) Smells Like Omega Spirit | Not Rated | 11769 words

Note: There is no smut in this fic, but it is omega Louis/alpha Harry.

Louis is an omega doing a test run on neutralizers for a class project. Every time he talks to Harry he smells completely different.

Harry is an alpha who can't figure out if he's going crazy or his sense of smell is broken, but all he wants to figure out what Louis' real scent is.

Somehow they figure it out.

9) If I'm On Fire, You'll Be Made Of Ashes Too | Explicit | 12518 words

Flawed and romanticised is the notion of perfection. Harry likes to think such a thing as perfection exists.

10) Love, Ever After | Explicit | 20782 words

The one where omega Louis makes love matches, alpha Harry makes cheese, and meddling friends might finally make their dreams of finding their soulmate come true.

11) Promise Me You Won't Run Away | Explicit | 23128 words

The Prince/ Knight AU in which Harry left Louis, but the omega never once gave up on them.

12) Don't Play With Matches | Explicit | 25632 words

Niall sees love everywhere - much to the despair of his friends, old and new (who he tends to treat as his own life-sized game of sims). It leads to complications.

13) I'm Gonna Keep This Love, If You Let Me | Explicit | 26355 words

Louis makes Harry pretend to be his boyfriend one night out. The rest is history.

14) In Your Scent I Thrive | Explicit | 33366 word

Harry’s particular condition has made it impossible for him to enjoy people’s scent, until he meets Louis.

15) We Both Got Nothing to Hide | Explicit | 43811 words

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

16) Oubaitori | Explicit | 48822 words

Louis and Harry meet again after years apart and have to learn to live together by detangling their shared past and uncovering old secrets.

17) Maybe You'll Like the Way I Am | Not Rated | 55878 words

Note: There is no smut in this fic, but it is omega Louis/alpha Harry.

When Louis' alpha neighbor asks him to pretend to be his omega for a week, Louis immediately says no. He has too much he's dealing with on his own, and he swore to himself he'd never get that close to an alpha again. Unable to hold to that resolve once guilt sets in, Louis finds that maybe fumbling his way through a fake relationship for a week was exactly what he needed to finally be able to move on.

18) Lunar Waltz | Explicit | 76795 words

Louis has to replace his (missing) twin brother and marry one of the most dangerous alphas of the kingdom.

19) I’m Missing Half Of Me When We’re Apart | Explicit | 83745 words

AU in which OT5 are all in their 30's and a list from 10 years ago dares Harry and Louis to lose their virginity to each other. What happens when two best friends who are not only completely unlike each other but also the complete opposite of their assigned secondary genders find themselves in the position of fulfilling that goal despite Louis hating alphas and everything they represent and Harry being irrevocably and unconditionally in love with his best friend? Will they find to each other or will a stupid piece of paper from their Uni days ruin their friendship?

- BLP 🍑

[mermaidxatxheart]

Better Together Chapter Seven

Chapter 7 already? I must really love you guys. I hope you enjoy. If you'd like to be added to my tag list, send me an ask. My work is not to be reposted under any name or anywhere else. Reblogs and comments, however, are always welcome.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Warnings: trauma, probably language, descriptions of violence, torture, blood.

Word Count: 2k

Series Master List

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

The sunlight is bright and you twist your face into Poe’s chest, trying to hide from it. You feel him chuckle under you and it’s only then that you realize he’s awake already.

“Morning.” He says softly.

“What time is it?” You mumble.

“Early, about six.”

“How can you sleep with the sun shining in your eyes like that?”

“I like getting up early.” His fingers trail lightly over your arm and he pulls you tight against his side.

You’re quiet for a long time, but it’s not because he’s lulled you back to sleep. You feel bad for waking him up so late last night. “I’m sorry I woke you up.” You say finally.

“It’s okay. I’d rather you wake me up if you need me than suffer by yourself.” He brushes your hair back behind your ear. “I don’t sleep much anyway.” He admits.

“Because of dreams?” You ask, twisting your head back to look up at him.

“Among other things, yeah.”

You squint and he smiles softly. If you had to pick which is brighter, the sun or Poe’s smile? Poe’s smile wins by a landslide.

“Here, roll over.” He urges, guiding you onto your other side. He turns behind you, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“This isn’t any better.” You huff. His chest shakes behind you as he laughs. You lift his arm and roll back over so you’re facing him. His soft brown eyes are watching you, amusement sparkling in them as you shift.

“Now you’re facing the window again.” He points out. So, you tuck your face into the crook of his neck and take a big, satisfying breath. “G-good now?” He asks quietly.

“Yeah.” You whisper, eyes already drooping shut again.

***

“I can talk to Leia, you don’t have to do the report.” Poe says.

“I told her I would. She said I could take time but I was petty and angry at the time and said I would have it for her by today.” You tell him, pushing yourself up from the bed.

“So that means you can still take your time.” He says, catching your wrist gently. “Stay.” He whispers and you turn back to him. “Please?”

“Come with me. You can get some food. I know you need caf. I kept you from doing your usual stuff all morning.” You say, kneeling on the bed. This feels dangerous. It feels like flirting, like crossing a line. But you meant it when you said that Poe is the easiest person to be around.

“You should get food, too.” He says, pushing himself up closer to you. One little inch and you’d be almost touching. You could kiss him. You could feel his lips on yours, tell him how much you…

Your eyes close and he pulls back. You should have expected it. But that doesn’t stop you from feeling like the floor is falling out from under you. Suddenly, you don’t want him to go with you. You straighten up, feeling dizzy and unbalanced. You feel numb, you can’t feel your pulse, can’t hear the way you’re breathing too quickly.

“I just remembered. It’s been a while since I’ve showered. I should do that first.” You mutter, already turning for the door.

“Y/N,” he calls, but the door is already shutting behind you and you squeeze your eyes shut. You deserved that. Why would you think he would want to kiss you again?

Poe can only be your friend. Nothing more. He doesn’t want anything more from you. And honestly, count yourself lucky that he even wants that much.

You hurry off to your room, locking the door behind you. You just want to be alone. That’s what’s best for everyone. Painfully, you peel off your clothes, wincing as every move causes you pain.

You shower quickly, blindly, taking no more time than is absolutely necessary. It would be so easy to just let yourself cry, pretend it’s the water dripping down your face instead of salty tears, but you can’t go there. You can’t let yourself feel sorry anymore. You made this mess, ruined a perfectly good friendship, cheated on your boyfriend and now you have to deal with the consequences of that. You’re in your comfiest clothes, settled at your desk to start your report. You wish you had thought to ask how much detail Poe had put in his. He clearly exaggerated about your part in what happened.

Your hands hover over the keyboard, waiting for your brain to tell them what to type. The longer you wait, the more they start to shake. You yank them back against your chest, squeezing them painfully to get them to stop. You welcome the pain, it somehow serves as your penance for what you’ve done.

Your door tries to open and there’s a muffled curse outside, startling you. You quickly unlock it and outside is Bryce. He holds out a caf silently and your eyes widen and you realize you promised him you’d be in the med bay after his shift.

“How was it?” You ask, taking the cup and backing up to let him in.

“Boring as always. I hate post work. Nothing ever happens.” He grumbles, following you and flopping on your bed. “What happened?” He asks, balling up your pillow and stuffing it under his chest to rest on.

“Um,” you clear your throat, scrambling for an answer that wouldn’t start a fight. I went to sleep with the guy you hate would definitely start a fight. “I couldn’t sleep. Kept waking up. Then I just said screw it. Been trying to work on this stupid report of what happened.” You gesture and he nods, understanding. At least, understanding your words. You know he doesn’t understand what you’re feeling. Nothing bad has ever happened to Bryce.

“What did happen?” He asks, tilting his head to look at you.

The blood drains out of your face and your hands start to shake. Your stomach falls to your feet and your knees get weak. “I-I don’t… I don’t really wanna talk about it.” You mutter, sitting back down before you fall down. You take a sip of the caf and try not to blanch. He never makes it how you like it and every time you forget.

“Well, you’re gonna have to talk about it. People are gonna wanna know.” He says, his voice gentle like he’s trying to be kind. But it feels like a punch to the gut. Why would people need to know what happened to you? Before you can protest, there’s a knock on your door. Bryce glares at it before looking at you. “Expecting someone?” He asks pointedly.

“No. I wasn’t even expecting you.” You stand up and press the release, even more surprised to see Snap on the other side.

He looks nervous as shit, holding out a bag of food from the commissary, and a caf. He has never ever brought you food before. “P…” he cuts off and glances down the hall. “Pando in the lab wanted me to remind you that he needs your help analyzing those plants you brought back.” He says, rolling his eyes at the name.

You frown in confusion, taking the bag. “Pando?” You repeat.

He narrows his eyes and slides them to the right, back down the hallway where he looked the first time. “Yeah. Pando. That’s what he told me. He needs your help.”

The name is entirely unfamiliar. As far as you know, it’s not even a name at all. “Alright… well, if you see… Pando, then let him know I’ll be there in a while. I have something to finish.” You say and he nods. Abruptly he turns and walks down the hall to your right and you blink. Maybe Snap is losing it? Too many missions? Flying too close to the sun? Maybe his ox-mask isn’t operating at full capacity. You poke your head out to watch him, wondering if he’s okay, and a figure darts from view before you can catch a good glimpse.

“That guy.” Bryce shakes his head.

“He’s a good dude. Just under a lot of pressure.”

“Who’s Pando?” He asks, taking the bag of food from you and rolling over onto his back.

You have a feeling you know who Snap was talking about, but why would he lie? Do you keep up the lie? Something in your gut tells you that telling the truth would be a bad idea. “Just one of the guys from the science division.” You shrug.

Bryce digs into your food and you frown. “I thought I knew all the freaks you work with.” He tilts his head, biting into a yacba fruit.

“They’re not freaks.” You snatch your food back. “And you don’t know everything about me. I have work to do.” You say and he rolls his eyes.

“So? Do it. I’m not stopping you.” He sighs, stretching out and laying back.

You want to hit him with something, that rage burning through your veins again. To save your holopad, you grab it, the bag of food, and the caf from Snap and march out of your room. You’ll find somewhere to eat in peace and then go to the lab and find this Pando.

There’s an observation tower on the outskirts of the compound that isn’t used anymore. You climb to the top, leaning against the stone post overlooking the woods. Finally, peace and quiet.

While you eat, you try to get as much of the report done as you can. You decide to be vague on the method of interrogation, instead focusing on what they wanted to know.

The lack of horrific details in your report doesn’t stop you from remembering them.

Hours. He has been asking you questions for hours. For every one unanswered, he slices at your best friend, nicking his skin all over. His face, his hands, his arms, his chest, his legs. There isn’t a body part left unscathed.

For his credit, he never wavers, never gives any sign of weakness, never cries out. He just clenches his jaw, and squeezes his eyes shut.

You, on the other hand, can’t stop crying. You’ll keep your promise, but seeing your best friend in so much pain hurts more than anything you’ve ever experienced.

In the back of your mind, you wonder how he knows about being tortured. As far as you know, he’s never been captured. He’s an excellent soldier, always on guard, always alert. He knows his shit, he’s good at this.

Until he goes on a solo mission with you.

And then you kiss him. And he drops his guard. Now he’s being hurt.

The trooper grunts in dissatisfaction and sets his blade down. “Seems like you rebel scum like pain.” He says, starting to take off his gauntlets and gloves.

Your stomach tightens, nerves spiking as you watch his movements warily. Is he going to give Poe a break, and turn on you?

“Nothing’s as painful as living in the world of the First Order.” Poe replies calmly.

Before you can see it coming, the trooper throws his fist, slamming it into Poe’s solar plexus. Poe doubles over as much as he can, coughing hard and gasping for air. You press your lips together to keep from crying out as your tears spill over. The trooper rains down blow after blow all over his body. His lip splits against his teeth, blood dripping down his chin. Around his eye, his cheekbone, along his jaw; you can hear his ribs shifting, maybe cracking.

Your heart breaks for him. You want to do something to help him, but you’re useless against your restraints.

“Ready to give up your precious General?” The trooper sneers, grabbing Poe’s thick hair and pulling up on it to see his face.

“Who?”

The trooper drops his head unceremoniously and turns to you for the first time. “You can stop his pain.” He taunts. “Just give us the location of your base.”

You straighten yourself as much as you can in defiance. “What base?” You ask coldly.

He grumbles and grabs his gloves, stalking from the room. Poe lets his head sag, breathing hard. You don’t dare speak. Blood drips from his mouth slowly, pooling on the floor.

You twist your face away so you don’t have to see your handiwork, crying silently. You can only hope that for the next session, they turn their attention to you instead of Poe.

He deserves so much better.

Chapter 8

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[writethelifeyouwant]

Make Him Look - Ch 1 / 2

Pairing: Cordell Walker x Reader Rating: 18+ Tags: flirting, many many drinks, jealousy, dancing, slow burn Word Count: 3k Created for: @walker-bingo - In Vino Veritas | @anyfandomgoesbingo - Jealousy A/N: Written with the lovely @thinkinghardhardlythinking in mind ❤️and y'all can also blame her for the fact it got so long I split it into two 😂

Cordell swings his leg over a barstool and settles into his usual spot. The bar is busy but not crowded. There’s a few more empty stools awaiting occupants for the night, and Cordell hooks one with his foot and draws it closer, popping his hat down to save the seat for Liam, who’s on his way. But there’s no reason to wait for Liam before he orders – they get the same thing every time.

“Barkeep! Can I get some queso, hot wings, and whatever Pinthouse you’ve got on draft?”

“Sure thing, man,” the kid behind the bar drawls, his accent thick and voice lazy. Cordell would bet anything the guy had had a joint on his break earlier, but he’s off duty – tonight is not about busting people for drugs, tonight is about letting loose. He checks his phone to see if Liam had texted him that he’d left the office yet, but there is nothing there. Taking a sip of the drink that has just been plopped on a coaster in front of him, Cordell scans the room. It’s a bad habit that every law enforcement worker he’s ever met has developed. Even when he’s trying to relax and blow off some steam, he can’t help being a little vigilant.

He takes in the tableaus around him; the groups of kids from the local community college, the gaggle of mid to late aged men in awful polos that Cordell recognises as the inner city bowling league, a couple of less savoury looking guys playing pool, the cluster of women those guys keep eyeing up – he’ll keep an eye on that one.

Checking his phone again and taking another drink, he still hasn’t heard anything from Liam. He opens his brother’s contact and is about to give him a call to tell him to get his ass in gear when someone suddenly reaches down beside him, picks up his hat and drops it back on his head while they slide into the seat he’d been saving - except it’s not Liam.

“Hey you,” the stranger says familiarly, bumping her shoulder against his. “Thanks for saving me a seat.”

You shrug out of your jacket and sling it over your arm as you head up to the worn wood counter of the bar. You don’t see your friend yet, so you decide to go ahead and order a drink while you wait for her to show. She’s always late, you should have just assumed and shown up fifteen minutes from now. You play on your phone as you wait for the bartender to finish serving the gang of people at the other end of the bar. When you feel someone in front of you, you look up, about to order a glass of wine, except one is already being placed on the bar top in front of you.

You stare questioningly at the kid serving you the drink. You’d been here before, sure, but you’re hardly a regular, and even if you were you don’t recognise this server – so why does he know what you were about to order?

“Um, I didn’t–” you start but the kid interrupts you.

“From the gentleman at the end of the bar, milady,” he gave a geeky little bow, “Sorry, he told me to say it like that,” he grimaces at himself. You chance a fleeting look back to the group you’d noticed him serving a few minutes ago and to your horror, you recognise your ex, Dirk, grinning back at you. He tips the brim of his ball cap and gives you a wink, like he’s expecting you to be impressed that he remembers you drink red wine. Shit, this is not how this night is supposed to go. You’re supposed to be here to get drunk with your best friend and have a bit of a dance, not be looking over your shoulder the whole night hoping that jerk leaves you alone.

Panicking a little now, you check your phone but there’s no text from Lea telling you when to expect her. Knowing her like you do, you would bet anything she won’t be here soon, and you don’t want to wait on your own and risk Dirk coming to talk to you. Desperately, you scan your eyes around the bar, cataloguing your options and escape routes. Someone catches your eye a few seats along from where you are. Tall, broad – dark and handsome, your mind supplies unhelpfully – but what really catches your eye is the badge hanging from his belt. He’s a Ranger.

Normally, you’d pick a group of girls who you know would happily pretend to know you so you don’t have to wait alone but you know Dirk, and you know he won’t be shy enough to let any number of girls stop him from coming to ruin your night. But a guy - and a Texas Ranger at that – Dirk wouldn’t dare. He had an outstanding DUI, and he’d always been a bit of a chicken around cops anyways.

Choice made, you grab the wine he’d bought you – hey, you’re not made of money, free booze is free booze – and you march purposefully over to the Ranger, who’s checking his phone and not paying attention until you grab his black cowboy hat off the chair next to him. Clearly he had been saving it for someone, and you want Dirk to think that someone is you.

“Hey you,” you chirp, placing his hat back on his head as you slide into the seat he’d been saving, “Thanks for saving me a seat.” You smile at the Ranger long enough to see him looking at you completely perplexed before you glance back to Dirk and see him watching you with a scowl. You let yourself feel inwardly triumphant and turn back to the man you’d just decided to befriend, if only temporarily.

Swivelling back towards him, you let yourself get a good look at his face for the first time. His bright hazel eyes are staring back at you, confused but not unkind. Tall, dark, and handsome is definitely apt, and now you’re seeing him properly you’re a bit speechless. You hadn’t counted on him being this freakin’ attractive.

“Sorry,” you finally manage to choke out under your breath. “I’ll leave you alone soon, I promise, I’m just hiding from my ex,” you explain, and understanding melts across the man’s face.

“Anything I can do to help?” he asks sympathetically.

“Just pretend like you know me until my friend gets here?” you propose hopefully.

“Happy to,” he smiles, grabbing his drink and holding it out to clink against your wine glass. You tap your glass against his, relief flooding your body as you settle onto your stool a little more comfortably.

“Thank you…” you trail off leadingly, hoping he’ll fill in his name.

“Cordell,” he supplies.

“Now there is a Texan name if I ever heard one,” you giggle.

“If you’re gonna laugh at my name do I at least get the chance to laugh at yours too?” he grins jokingly.

“Y/N,” you give him your name, tucking your hair behind your ear and taking a sip of your wine.

“Well that’s no fun, how can I tease you for such a pretty name?” Cordell takes a sip of his own drink, mirroring you. Jeez, this one is a smooth talker.

-

When you finish your glass of wine, probably a little quicker than normal due to your anxious state, you check your phone again and see a missed call from Lea. “Crap,” you sigh, drawing a concerned look from Cordell, who is happily munching away on some chips and queso next to you.

“Everything okay?” He asks, muffled, mouth still full of food.

“Yeah, s’just my friend bailing on me,” you gripe, listening to the voicemail she’d left on your phone a few minutes ago. “Sorry I gate crashed your night for nothing,” you apologise, popping your phone back in your bag and planning on just going home to turn in early and watch some junky tv show in bed now that your ‘girls night’ wasn’t happening.

“Hey, you aren’t gate crashing.” Cordell shrugs, like he’s hedging his bets with his next statement. “I’ve had a good time so far.” His smile is shy and sincere, and you soften just a little in your annoyance at the world.

“I totally am though, you were clearly waiting for someone,” you gesture to the stool you’d taken up residence on.

“Just my work-a-holic brother, who, as luck would have it–” Cordell pulls his phone from his pocket and holds it up to show the message on the lock screen “–also pulled out on me.”

“Oh,” you blink, not sure what to make of that. It sounds like he’s asking you to stay but… “Well, thank you for being my knight in shining armour for a bit, seriously, but I don’t really want to stick around just to have my ex looking at me all night.”

“Well, if he’s gonna be a creep and keep watching you all night, we could make that fun, give him something to watch,” Cordell offers, his smirk incongruous with the almost hopeful expression in his eyes.

“What?” You’re perplexed.

“I mean, I don’t know what happened between you, but it’s pretty obvious to me that he wants you back, and you seem pretty pissed at him for that. I’m guessing the bastard cheated on you?” You huff in response, a little bitter that he’d read the situation so easily.

“Yeah, he did,” you admit, slumping against the bar, feeling downtrodden at the memory.

“So don’t let him chase you off,” Cordell shrugs like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “He messed you around – you tellin’ me you wouldn’t like to mess with him right back?” he raises an eyebrow in temptation, a knowing smirk twitching at his lips.

“And you’re proposing that instead of not wanting him to look at me all night–”

“You make him look,” Cordell finishes your sentence for you. “We’ve already pretended to know each other for the past–” he checks his watch “–twenty minutes. May as well just do the whole pretend date.” Cordell looks at you with so much honesty, you believe that he really does just want to help you screw with Dirk. And you cannot say the idea isn’t appealing.

“Alright,” you concede, shaking your head slightly in disbelief that you’re actually agreeing to this, and Cordell’s face splits into a wide smile. Honestly, seeing that expression alone made agreeing to this worth it. “So, if we’re on a pretend date, you gonna pretend to buy me another drink?”

“No,” you insist, shaking your head vehemently.

“C’mon,” Cordell chides, grinning madly.

“I did not agree to this,” you shake your head, finishing off the last bit of wine in your glass.

“Come on,” he urges again, leaning against the bar and tilting his head close to yours pleadingly.

“I am not dancing,” you repeat, wholeheartedly meaning it. You think if you have to come into genuine skin to skin contact with Cordell, you might actually melt into a puddle. Now three glasses of wine into your fake date, you can feel yourself loosening up and really enjoying yourself with this handsome stranger. He’s kind, and funny, and a little weird but in a charming way – exactly your type. And him begging you to dance with him wasn’t helping your self-restraint. This is a fake date, you keep reminding yourself firmly every time he flashes you that little half smile that makes his eyes light up.

“Well, I don’t know what kind of boring fake dates you usually go on, but mine aren’t complete unless I get to show off my two-step and knock back a tequila shot.”

“Oh, we’re doing tequila now, are we?” You laugh – this guy is actually ridiculous, and you kind of love it.

“That wasn’t a no,” he jumps on your ‘non denial’ and waves at the kid behind the bar. “Two tequilas, two limes?” he holds up two fingers and the bartender nods to him, quickly pouring out the shots and dropping two lime wedges onto a plate. Cordell grabs a salt shaker from the condiments rack on the bar and sets everything up between you. You let him work, watching incredulously but enjoying the show nonetheless.

“Give me your hand,” he holds out his own hand expectantly once he’s arranged all the pieces to his liking.

“Why?” your voice is nervous but your hand reaches out instantly of its own accord. Without answering he proceeds to rub the edge of the lime over the inside of your wrist, then puts the lime in your fingers and shakes some salt over the trail of juice he left behind. He does the same thing to himself, then passes you your shot, which you take in your lime-free hand.

“Right, you wanna do this the normal way or the ‘make Dirk jealous way’?” Cordell asks with a smirk once he’s oriented himself.

“I’m gonna regret asking this, but what’s the ‘make Dirk jealous’ way?” you groan exaggeratedly, like he’s put some great burden on you, but the truth is you’re really enjoying yourself.

“Like this,” Cordell steps up to you and links your right arms together. Catching his drift you smile and try to hold back the snort of laughter that bubbles up inside you – a nervous reaction to feeling the warmth of his body against yours, even through the layer of his shirt. “One, two, three,” he counts off and you go to lick the salt off your wrist except that’s what Cordell is doing. You freeze momentarily, heat shooting up your arm from where his tongue and lips are laving over your skin. You don’t think to move until Cordell puts his own wrist against your lips and you lick obediently.

Your linked arms pull you closer together as Cordell lifts the tequila to his lips and you follow suit in a kind of trance, both knocking back your shots. The tequila hits you harder than you remember it ever doing before, and you scrunch up your face, disoriented for a moment until you once again feel Cordell’s lips on your skin. This time they’re wrapping around your finger tips as he sucks the lime into his mouth. You stand frozen, the burn in your mouth and your fingers meeting in your chest and ratcheting up your heart rate as if you’re trying to run away from the oncoming flames. But it’s hopeless, you’re stuck in the blaze now.

“You want your lime, darlin’?” Cordell laughs at your stock still frame and holds his fingers to your lips, gently pressing the fruit inside and urging you to suck. You’re sure you must have physically combusted into fire by now, but Cordell isn’t jumping away like he’s been singed – he’s pressing closer. “Dance with me,” he rasps, voice hoarse from the burn of the alcohol. It’s not a request anymore, it’s an order, and you don’t question it.

Drawing his hand down the arm of yours linked with his until your fingers lace together, he pulls you away from the bar and out onto the dance floor. It’s an upbeat country song, the kind you’d normally jump around to, but he pulls you in and wraps an arm around your waist like a proper partner dance calls for – except he’s ignored the social convention of leaving room for Jesus. He pulls you after him in tiny circles and you let him lead happily. When the song changes to something a little slower he pulls you just a little tighter, and you can’t stop yourself from moving your gaze off his shoulder up to his face.

His eyes dart over your shoulder, then smile down at you wryly, and you feel yourself blush. “He’s watching,” Cordell grins mischievously. You go to look but he puts a hand on your neck and holds you still, keeping your eyes on him. His fingers are strong and warm against your collarbone, ironically causing you to shiver. “No, don’t look at him,” his voice is low as he leans in conspiratorially, “you wanna make him look, remember?”

“Why are you helping me?” The alcohol swimming through your veins is making you comfortable and fuzzy, and you let yourself lean against him familiarly, your head resting against his chest as he continues to move you both around the dance floor. You feel him shrug as his grips on your hand and the nape of your neck tighten a little.

“The truth?” he asks. You can hear the nerves in his voice, even if you can’t see them on his face.

“No, I want you to lie to me, please,” your voice manages to stay serious through the end of the joke before you burst into giggles, and you feel your laughter move into his body and trigger his own, making his chest rise and fall unevenly beneath your cheek.

“You are one hell of a gal, you know that?” You’re glad your face is buried in his chest so he can’t see just how brightly you smile at the compliment. “Truth is, I’ve been trying to get you drunk and have my wicked way with you.” You can tell by how expressionless his voice has gone that he’s winding you up, but you pull back and slap your hand to your chest in mock horror.

“Well Cordell Walker, I have never met such a rogue in my life,” you gasp in your best Scarlet O’Hara accent. It’s not a good one. Neither of you can keep a straight face for more than a few seconds, and you both double over in laughter after your minuscule standoff.

As your laughter dies down, Cordell grabs your hands again and pulls you back to him, swaying entirely out of time to the song that’s playing. He looks like he’s about to say something but the words haven’t quite found their way to his tongue, and when you catch his eyes you suddenly don’t want to hear what he has to say and you pull away from him. He looks at you, puzzled and just the slightest bit hurt as you try to find some cover for your sudden movement.

“You wouldn’t happen to be a bourbon fan, would you?”

Part 2 Here!

We’re All Mads Here: @vulgar-library @tintentrinkerin @negans-lucille-tblr @fandomfic-galore @petitgateau911 @schaefchenherde @kickingitwithkirk @little-diable @laxe-chester67 @kassyscarlett @austin-winchester67

All Walker: @lovealways-j @delightfullykrispypeach @stoneyggirl @thinkinghardhardlythinking @sams-sass @walkersbabygirl

[iam93percentstardust]

First of all, Happy Birthday Month!!! Many happy returns!! I have been reading fanfiction for e very long time, but this is the 1st time I have ever submitted a prompt. I kinda think Stuckony would be great but I am down with Winteriron or Stony, wherever the prompt takes you. You're amazing so I know it's gonna be fantastic! Thanks in advance!💜💜💜 “Is that your robot?” “That’s a rude way to talk about my husband.”

This was such a fun prompt to write, thanks for sending it in! And thank you for the birthday wishes!

As always, everything I write is also on ao3

~

Something taps against Bucky’s foot. At first, he ignores it, figuring someone just bumped into him, but then it happens again and then for a third time. He looks down, fully expecting to see a small child, only to see a small gold and blue robot run into his shoe, back up, and then run right into it again. It looks a little like an atom with a central core and three rings spinning around it in multiple directions. He smiles at the oddly charming behavior and bends down to pick the robot up, wondering if it came from one of the many glittering exhibits he and Steve have walked past today or if it belongs to someone.

“Hey, Stevie,” he begins, thinking to share it with his husband, but when he looks around, Steve isn’t anywhere near him. Bucky sighs and turns in a circle, hoping to spot him somewhere in the packed crowd. Who knew the Stark Expo would draw so many people on a Tuesday in the middle of March? “Stevie, you’re too small to wander off like this.”

He feels a tug on the hem of his coat and then a small voice primly says, “Excuse me, Mister Sir, that’s mine.”

“Huh?” He looks down again, this time to see a young girl of about six or seven years holding onto his jacket. “Oh! Is this your robot?” he asks, crouching down to her level.

“That’s a rude way to talk about my husband,” she informs him, holding her hand out for the robot.

Bucky blinks at her. He’s heard about kids playing pretend with their toys but that’s usually things like Legos or dolls, right? Not a whirring, circular robot that doesn’t even have a face.

“Can I please have Jarvis back?” the girl asks, insistently tugging on his coat again.

“Oh, sure, sorry about that.” He passes it back to her and then looks around, hoping to spot the girl’s parents before she realizes she’s left them. He’s dealt with plenty of upset kids at the school he and Steve work at, so he’s more than capable of handling any meltdown she might have, but he’d like to stave it off if he can. Unfortunately, he doesn’t spot anyone frantically looking for a lost kid, so he’s just getting ready to resign himself to dealing with a crying kid when Steve appears from out of nowhere.

“Hey, Buck, sorry about that, got sidetracked by one of the exhibits. The person works with sand and sound to make art, it was really—” He stops short at the sight of the girl hugging her robot. “Bucky. You didn’t pick up another stray, did you?”

“Excuse me?” Bucky asks, affronted. “I never—”

“No? So what’s Alpine then? Or Dodger? Or, for that matter, me?” Steve crouches down next to the girl and holds out his boney hand for her to shake. “Hey, kid, my name’s Steve. This is Bucky. What’s your name?”

She gives him a suspicious look, but must decide that he’s safe because she says after a moment, “Morgan.”

“Well, Miss Morgan, why don’t we see about finding your parents?” Steve offers. “It looks like they’ve gotten lost.”

Morgan turns one way and then the other, noticing for the first time that she’s alone. Her lower lip trembles, eyes welling up with big, fat tears. “I—”

Bucky, sensing an impending meltdown, quickly says, “Hey, it’s okay. We’ll find them. We grown-ups are pretty good at getting lost. It’s up to brave kids like you to help us get found again.”

Morgan sniffs, but nods. “I’m here with Uncle Happy,” she says, sliding her small hand into Bucky’s.

“Then let’s find Uncle Happy,” Steve says decisively. “Would you like me to hold your robot?”

She shakes her head, clutching the robot tighter to her. “You can’t take JARVIS,” she says. “He’s mine.”

“Okay,” Bucky says soothingly. “We won’t take him away.” He shares a quick glance with Steve. “Should we start at Lost and Found?”

“If I may, Sirs,” the robot suddenly says in a cool British voice. Steve yelps, jumping away from it. Bucky startles, dropping Morgan’s hand.

Morgan giggles. “Don’t worry, that’s just Jarvis. He’s an artificial intelligence.” She pronounces the words carefully, like it’s something she’s been taught to say. She holds the robot up, who lights up with every word he says.

“The tracker in this device has been activated. There will be no need to move from this location. Sir will be here momentarily,” Jarvis tells them.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” Steve mutters, taking a closer look at the robot. “It talks.”

“I am Just A Rather Very Intelligent System or—”

“JARVIS,” Bucky realizes. “It’s an acronym, not a name.”

“Quite so, though I was named for Edwin Jarvis, an old friend of Sir’s.”

“And Sir is…?”

JARVIS lights up like it’s going to talk again but before it says anything, they hear someone say loudly, “Morgan H. Stark!”

Morgan’s face brightens and she turns, running right into the arms of a slender man in a suit, closely followed by another larger man. “Daddy!” she exclaims, throwing her arms around the man, who catches her up in a tight hug.

“What have we said about running off?” the man asks, sounding worried. He has a familiar voice, Bucky thinks. He wonders where he’s heard it before.

“I didn’t run off,” Morgan protests. “JARVIS did and I had to get him.”

“You didn’t think to tell Happy where you were going?” The man gently brushes her hair out of her eyes before straightening up, setting Morgan on his hip.

“I didn’t have time! JARVIS was moving too fast.”

The man makes a dissenting noise. “Flaw in your logic.”

She shakes her head. “No flaw.”

“Yes flaw. JARVIS has a tracker. You, O’ Great and Powerful Maguna, do not.”

It’s adorable watching the two of them together, seeing the way the man softens the longer he holds Morgan and the way Morgan leans into him. And it doesn’t hurt that the man is wildly attractive too: all big brown eyes and curly hair that Bucky wants to feel between his fingers (he bets they’re as soft as they look). Bucky feels something stir in his heart that he hasn’t felt since the day he met Steve. He quickly glances at Steve, wondering if Steve feels the same way. Steve’s eyes could practically be cartoon hearts, he’s melting so obviously, and Bucky smiles to himself. Maybe, if they play their cards right…

“But I didn’t get lost,” Morgan protests and points at Bucky and Steve. “I had Mister Bucky and Mister Steve.”

Abruptly, all the warmth drains out of the man’s expression. He looks at Bucky and Steve coldly, mouth a thin, tight line. “Oh you did, did you?” He turns to the second man behind him. “Happy, could you take Morgan for a moment?”

“Daddy—” But Happy—who looks more like an Angry than a Happy—has already nodded and taken her from the man’s arms.

“You got it, boss.”

The man now stalks closer to Bucky and Steve. “Alright,” he says abruptly. “How much do I owe you?”

Steve’s expression goes blank. “I’m sorry?” he repeats, voice tense with hidden anger.

“What do you want for this?” the man says. “Finder’s fee, something to keep you quiet, what do you want?”

“Look, I don’t know who you think you are—” Steve begins heatedly, right as Bucky realizes where he’s seen this man before.

“Stevie, stop,” he mutters, catching Steve’s arm before he can get too angry and take a swing at the guy. “That’s Tony Stark.”

“Huh?” Steve looks again and then his face clears. “Oh. This must happen a lot, huh?”

Stark glances between the two of them, looking confused now, rather than angry. That’s good; that’s something Bucky can work with.

“Look, we’re sorry about all this,” Bucky says apologetically. “But we’re really not trying to cause trouble. Morgan’s robot ran into my foot, that’s how we met. We didn’t even know who she was until you got here. You don’t need to pay us off or anything.”

“Really,” Stark states suspiciously. “So I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and all the headlines are saying that I can’t take care of my kid?”

“We’re both teachers,” Steve says, gesturing at him and Bucky. “We know kids wander off all the time. They’re more slippery than a bar of soap in the shower. You’re not going to hear anything from us.”

Stark slumps and runs a hand through his hair. He looks tired all of a sudden, not that Bucky can blame him now that he knows this entire Expo is being run by him. “Sorry,” he says quietly. “You just can’t be too careful in this line of business.”

“I can imagine,” Bucky says soothingly. “If it would help, we’d be happy to sign an NDA.”

“Pepper would probably kill me if I didn’t ask you to,” Stark admits. He sighs. “Great, first time I contact her since the divorce and it’s about my fuckup.”

“You’re not a fuckup,” Steve insists. “Seriously, this happens all the time. Just last week, I had a kid decide he wanted to keep looking at the snails in the Botanical Gardens we took the kids to while the rest of us went to lunch. Took me an hour to find him.”

Tony gives him a hopeful look. “Really?”

“Really. It’s okay. You’re not a bad parent.”

“I’ve just—I’m supposed to be presenting in—” He checks his watch.

Happy shouts, “Five minutes ago, boss.”

“It’s my presentation, I think they can wait for me if I’m running late. Morgan didn’t want to wait while I was prepping so I asked Happy to take her to see some of the exhibits. I didn’t think she’d wander away.”

“Well, hey, we’d hate to make you any later,” Bucky says. “So we’ll let you—”

Morgan pipes up, “Daddy, can’t Mister Bucky and Mister Steve come too?”

“Well—”

“They were so nice,” she says, making her eyes big and wide. “And I think we should be nice and let them watch.”

Stark smiles helplessly at her. “You know what that is? That’s extortion.” He turns to Bucky and Steve again and shrugs. “Do you want to come? It’ll be backstage, so you won’t get to see as much as you would if you were watching from the front. But it’ll be fun, I’m presenting the new arc reactor. Oh—and please, call me Tony. We’re all friends here, no need to stand on formalities.”

Steve and Bucky have one of their silent conversations that always bothers their friends. “Are you sure?” Steve asks. “We wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

Tony gives Bucky a very obvious onceover, followed by a look at Steve, just as obvious and just as hungry. “Oh yes,” he murmurs. “I’m sure.”

“Then we’d love to,” Bucky says, giving Tony a onceover of his own. He and Steve don’t often invite a third partner to their bed, but there’s just something about Tony.

“Great!” Tony chirps. His eyes go dark and heated as he adds, “And maybe afterwards, we can talk about a way to pay you back for helping Morgan out.”

“Tony, really, we don’t need anything,” Steve begins.

“Please,” Tony purrs. “I insist.”

[kikis-writing-world]

Passing the Test

Summary: Marcus finds a used pregnancy test in the bathroom trash... but it isn’t yours.

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x F!Reader, heavily familiar relationship between teenage Missy and Reader.

Word Count: 2.6k plus ~500 bonus scene

Rating/Warnings: Non-explicit talk of sex (parent/child safe sex discussion,) Pregnancy scares, discussions of having children, mentions of birth control, pills and doctors. Fainting. It’s tame in the sense of content rating, but I know these can be triggering topics to some. Take care of yourselves <3

It was a simple, normal Sunday morning… right up until it wasn’t.

Breakfast was wrapping up. Missy was picking at her plate, slowly finishing up her waffles as her teenage brain woke-up. Marcus had finished quickly, starving after his early morning run. You’d already eaten and were already started on washing up. Marcus dropped his plate off with you at the sink, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he thanked you for breakfast before taking off towards the bathroom to shower.

You didn’t hear the shower turn on as you expected, instead hearing Marcus making his way back down the hall to the kitchen.

“Uh… sweetheart? W-what’s this?” Your brow furrowed as you looked over your shoulder to see what your husband was talking about. His voice was small, almost panicked, and you didn’t know what would cause him to have that reaction. He was the one in the house who killed any bugs that showed up and you’d never had a rodent problem. You were wondering what he could have found in the bathroom until you saw the plastic stick he was holding.

Your breath caught in your throat, immediately recognizing the pregnancy test. As a woman, you’d taken them before. Accidents happen, sometimes stress or illness delays nature’s flow, you’d been there. However, you hadn’t been there recently.

You glanced at Missy, seeing it written all over the girl’s face. She was frozen, mortified. She looked like she’d forgotten how to breathe. To be fair, you felt like you’d forgotten how to breathe too. You looked back at Marcus, but his eyes had never left you. The loving, doting father hadn’t even considered the other option in front of him and honestly you didn’t know if you could break the news to him.

“Oh, uh.” You stuttered as you tried to wrap your brain around all the new information thrown your way.

Missy was sexually active. She was 17, it wasn’t surprising, but she hadn’t brought it up. You weren’t sure you had expected her to but you had tried to make it clear as she grew that you would be there for her if she needed a woman to talk to instead of her father. Not only was she having sex, but she’d had a scare. Was she late? Did the condom break - please lord, you prayed, let her be using condoms. Was she… You were too young to be a grandmother. A step-grandmother. Was that even a thing?

As you processed everything, Marcus crossed the kitchen to you while Missy had slunk down in her chair about as low as she could go.

“Did you think... “ He trailed off, his voice soft. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

You opened and closed your mouth, looking for the right way to answer this. You hadn’t said anything because you’d had no idea someone in the house had taken a test!

“I wasn’t sure.” You mumbled, mouth going dry as you didn’t correct his assumption. One step at a time.

First, find out what the result of that test is.

Second, have a long, long, long talk with Missy about many, many things. Safe sex and hiding things we don’t want to be found among them.

Third… make brain work again? You had no idea where to go from there, but you supposed step three would become clear from the results of steps one and two.

Then, there was the issue literally staring you in the face. Marcus. The two of you had talked about children earlier on in the relationship as things grew serious. He told you that he wasn’t ready for more and you accepted that. You loved Missy and loved having a piece of her to share as you three became a family unit. The topic never came up again, so you just assumed Marcus didn’t want another child. You’d stayed on the pill and that was that. You always thought that if he changed his mind, he’d bring it up. It wasn’t something hidden. He saw your pack of pills on the nightstand that you took daily, and you’d even mentioned aloud a few times when you needed to get them refilled. There was plenty of opportunity for him to bring it up if he thought maybe you should go off them.

“You still could have talked to me. I would have sat with you or something.” Marcus told you, setting the test down on the counter to take both of your hands in his. 

You stared at the little piece of plastic, mentally thanking whoever was listening that Missy had splurged for the digital type. The word “negative’ sprawled on the screen, and you didn’t have to try to subtly decipher whether you were hoping for one line or two. You felt like you could breathe again.

“It wasn’t a big deal.” You shook your head. “Just late, wanted to make sure.”

You saw Missy gaping at you out of the corner of your eye, clearly surprised you were taking the fall for her.

“How did you feel? About the result?” He asked gently, this thumb stroking the back of your hand. 

“Maybe we should talk about this later,” you suggested, letting your eyes shoot in the direction of the teenager at the table, hoping Marcus would get that you’d rather talk in private. You’d also rather have a bit of time to wrap your head around everything that was just dropped on you.

Marcus’ eyes moved with yours, seeing Missy slumped in her seat making herself as small as possible. “Okay. We’ll talk later.” He promised, kissing your forehead.

You nodded in agreement and he squeezed your hands before letting them drop. As he left to take that shower, the tension in the room was palpable.

Missy started to speak but you shushed her, raising a finger in her direction while still watching down the hallway. “Wait til he starts the shower. Then we’ll talk.” You instructed quietly, glancing her way. 

Part of you felt bad for the girl, she looked absolutely mortified - and you’d seen her look plenty embarrassed before by her father’s helicopter parenting and bad jokes. On the other hand however, if she was old enough to need that test, she’d have to take this talk like an adult.

Neither of you moved until the shower started. As soon as you heard the water in the pipes, you marched to the table and sat next to her.

“I’m sorry-”

“What’s going on, Missy?” You interrupted the girl’s plea. “Don’t you dare lie to me after I covered for you with your dad. Why did you take that test?”

She stared down at the tabletop, blinking rapidly as she fought the tears welling in her eyes. “I’m late.” She admitted.

“How late?”

“Just a few days.”

“And how long have you been having sex for?”

She looked up at you, face turning red.

“No, no, no.” You chided. “You want to act grown, we’re gonna talk like you’re grown. How long?”

“Couple of months.” She mumbled, shrugging as she avoided looking you in the eye.

“Are you being safe? Condoms, birth control?”

“Condoms.”

You breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god.”

“I’m not stupid, you know.” She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Oh, I beg to differ.” You huffed. “If you were smart you would have hidden that test so your dad didn’t find it.”

“I’m sorry!” She cried, tightening her grip on herself. “I was just so relieved it came out negative, I didn’t think...”

You took a deep breath, rubbing the bridge of your nose. You knew you needed to be smart about how you talked to Missy. If you were too harsh, she wouldn’t come to you in the future. If you were too lenient, she’d think a pregnancy scare at her age was no big deal and she might continue to be careless.

“Missy,” you started. “I really wish you would have come to me about this.”

“I didn’t want you to get mad. Or tell dad.” She admitted, still staring down at the table.

“You’re lucky he’s a definition himbo.” You joked, trying to lighten the mood.

She shot you a look, brows furrowed. “Nobody says that anymore.” She grumbled, making you sigh. Teenagers.

“That’s not the point.” You shook your head. “Missy, I wouldn’t have gotten mad. I probably would have asked questions, but I would have been there for you, helped you through it. I’ve been there, I know how scary it is.”

Missy nodded as you saw a tear roll down her cheek. You reached over and took her hand in your own.

“Did you only take one test?” You asked, which she answered with a nod.

“Okay. I’ll go out later today to get another, just so we can be sure. Then Monday I think we should make an appointment about getting on you some form of birth control.” You planned.

“There’s more than one kind?” Missy mumbled.

“Oh hon, yeah there’s a few.” You smiled gently, trying not to make fun of the girl for her lack of knowledge. “I can see if my doctor has an opening if you want, she’s really great.”

Missy nodded. You reached over with your free hand to rub her arm comfortingly. “Until we get that sorted, can you try to… hold off for a bit?”

“Yeah, I can do that.” She rolled her eyes, wiping away her tears. “This whole thing kinda scared me off of... it.”

“I wish that would last,” you chuckled, “but it won’t. Teenage hormones suck.”

The silence that settled between you two wasn’t wrought with the same tension as before. The tension this time was of nerves, you scared for your step-daughter and Missy shaken up by her whole ordeal.

“Do you have any questions, anything you’re confused about?” You prompted, trying to open the floor to her.

“Are you gonna tell Dad?” She asked quietly. So quietly you almost didn’t hear her.

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as you tried to think about it. One on hand, you didn’t want to be keeping anything from Marcus, especially when it came to his daughter. On the other hand, you knew you were lucky your mother had been around to deal with this part of your life. You would have been mortified having to go to your father for sex stuff.

“I won’t tell him,” you decided. The relief in the teen’s eyes was palpable, and she looked like she was going to cry again. “But you have to promise me that you’ll talk to an adult about things like this. You can always come to me, but if you’re not comfortable with that-”

“No, now that I know you’re not gonna tell dad-” Missy started, but you cut her off firmly but gently.

“Let me finish. I’m glad you’re comfortable talking to me now, but if you ever aren’t, please talk to your Abuela or the doctor, or a counsellor at school, okay? I know you’re 17 and you think you know everything. I was the same way, everyone is at your age, but an adult can help you with this stuff, okay?”

Missy agreed as the two of you heard the shower shut off. You fought the urge to sigh as you remembered the other side of this coin: the conversation you had to have with Marcus now.

“Why don’t you go clean up?” You offered, wiping away the rest of Missy’s tears with your thumb. “I’m already lying to your father for you, I don’t need to explain to him why you were crying too.”

Missy laughed a little at that, a small pitiful laugh but a laugh all the same. She stood, wrapping her arms around you. You were surprised, but you returned the hug.

“Thank you.” She whispered before running off to her room. The door closed behind her and it didn’t take long for loud music to start playing.

You slumped down, resting your head in your hands as you took several deep breaths. You gave yourself a pep talk in your head, convincing yourself you’re doing the right thing by keeping this from Marcus, and encouraging yourself that you handled the situation well. You went over the plan again in your head, pretty sure you had your bases covered to take care of Missy in light of the scare. Once you’d gotten her in with the doctor, you’d have a more in depth talk with her about safe sex and being responsible with her body.

You heard Marcus’ footsteps, soft against the carpet of the hallway carpet, before he paused at the entrance to the kitchen.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He asked, coming up to rest his hands on your shoulders.

“Yeah, I think I just feel a headache coming on.” You told him, which wasn’t untrue. You could definitely feel the beginnings of a stress headache prickling at the edges of your consciousness.

Marcus’ large hands started massaging your shoulders, making you groan softly in delight.

“Is it because…” He trailed off, but he didn’t need to continue for you to know he meant the test. He’d probably been thinking about it the whole time he was in the shower, and it was probably best to get this conversation out of the way rather than to let it fester. You nodded, letting him know it was - which wasn’t a lie.

His hands stopped massaging your shoulders, running up and down your arms a few times before he sat next to you in the chair Missy had just vacated.

“I’m sorry you went through that alone,” he started, taking your hand in his and kissing your knuckles. It made you smile at his sweetness.

“It was my choice. I’m sorry I kept it from you.” You knew at this point the two of you were having two different conversations, you were apologizing for keeping Missy’s secret from him but you did truly believe it to be the right decision. At least for now. Maybe someday when she’s older and out of the house, you’d tell him and laugh.

“We’ve never really talked about it. Not since the beginning.” Marcus got a faraway look in his eyes and you knew he was remembering the date you two had been on when the conversation was had.

“Yeah, but that’s okay.” You squeezed his hand, bringing him back to the now. “I like what we have.”

Marcus frowned, his deep brown eyes filled with worry not unlike Missy’s had been minutes before. “Are you sure? I saw the test and… I just suddenly felt like I was holding you back. If that’s something you want, we should discuss it.”

“And if it was something I felt strongly about, I would have brought it up.” You promised him. You knew right from the start of your relationship he was worried about holding you back. You were younger than him with the world at your feet. He was a widowed single father with a young daughter and a career in fighting supervillains and aliens. He didn’t just have baggage, he had a storage locker of issues.

“Alright.” Marcus sighed, but you could still see the trepidation in his eyes. You smiled at him, pulling him into a kiss.

“Don’t worry babe, I don’t think I could handle another teenager.” You teased. Today was probably one of the most difficult moments you’d had as a step-mother aside from the initial growing pains of your relationship with Missy, but you’d all survived it.

Marcus laughed and you were happy to see a joyful sparkle replace the worry in his eyes. “Yeah, tell me about it.” He glanced towards Missy’s room where her loud music was still blaring. He shook his head before standing, picking up Missy’s abandoned plate. You expected him to take it to the sink but he stopped behind you, leaning down to whisper in your ear.

“Although, they’re really stinkin’ adorable when they’re babies.” He confessed, shocking you into silence. He kissed the side of your head and moved to the sink to wash Missy’s plate.

Or it could have gone something like this...

You were sitting at the edge of your bed, stretching as you woke up for the day. Marcus had opened the curtains a crack before he left for his run and you could see it was going to be a beautiful day out. You stood slowly, unrolling your spine as you got your balance.

You heard the front door open and close. You must have slept in later than you’d meant to since you usually had breakfast ready by the time Marcus got back from his run. Or he’d left earlier than usual. Either way, that just meant he could shower while you were cooking. You blinked your bleary eyes as you crossed to your dresser for some lounge clothes to wear. You were in one of Marcus’ old t-shirts and your underwear and figured you’d at least put some pants on before leaving the room.

You could hear him through the hall as he made his way to the bathroom, his footsteps falling a little heavier on the carpet after exerting himself, still panting lightly. You yawned away the sleep, struggling to keep your balance as you pulled a pair of plaid shorts up your legs. You’d just gotten them over your hips when the door opened.

You looked up, seeing Marcus still sweaty and flushed from his run. He was staring at something in his hand looking completely confused. You furrowed your brows, trying to focus on the small object as you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes.

“Uh… sweetheart? W-what’s this?” He asked, holding it up for you to see. It took you a moment to register what the thin stick of plastic was.

“That’s not mine.” You defended. You were on the pill and hadn’t had any recent scares. If you had, you would have shared that with Marcus. But if it wasn’t yours...

Your eyes widened as your sleep-addled brain caught up to the real world. It felt like your heart stopped. Marcus seemed to have made the connection just before you did as he stared down at the test in terror.

“Marcus sweetie, it’s probably not what we think,” you tried to calm him as he turned bright red.

“No. N-no, no, no.” He stuttered, unable to take his eyes off it as his breathing started coming quicker and quicker.

“Marcus, you need to breathe. Relax.” You begged as you watched the emotions crossing his face at a dizzying pace. Fear, anger, confusion, hurt, anger again-

“Missy?” He squeaked pathetically, looking up at you in panic.

“She’s not a kid anymore, Marcus.” You offered pathetically. You knew Marcus would always see Missy as his little girl despite the fact that she was in her late teens. You’d had no idea she was sexually active but if she’d taken a pregnancy test that pretty much spoke for itself.

“But she-” He whimpered, shaking his head as he stared at the test. 

You bit your lip, searching for the words to help him accept this. You hadn’t even seen the test result yet, so you had no idea how big the problem was about to be.

You watched as his eyes unfocussed, nearly crossing before they rolled back. If you were awake, you would have anticipated what happened next. Since you weren’t, you watched helplessly as Marcus face planted in front of you, passed out from the shock of his teenage daughter taking a pregnancy test.

So much for a relaxing Sunday.

A/N: I ended the “first ending” there so that each reader could decide if the conversation that followed would be “wait, we want kids? Let’s go!” or “Haha, babies can be cute as long as they’re not mine!” So feel free to let your imagination wander.

Tagging @wickedfrsgrl​ @din-damn-djarin​ @dinthisisthe-wayson​ @vonschweetz​ @insideafictionaluniverse​ @driedgreentomatoes​ @computeringturtle​

[icaruskey]

Here’s a fun fact about me: I like to turn everything I touch into a book. So like right now I’m working on this copper etched diptych:

This is just one version of several I’ve been playing with. Mostly through colored ink and paper though this particular piece is being printed both intaglio and relief. If you don’t know what that means, intaglio basically means printing from all the valleys of a plate (so the lines that I carved out) and relief means printing from all the places that weren’t touched (so all the high places left). 

Intaglio (with a copper plate):

Relief (linocut):

Those examples aren’t my work. But I am working from a copper plate. So for the pink and purple print, I worked it like the intaglio example and then rolled it up like you would a linocut.

Anyway

I love the smaller plate, the tentacles, as a stand alone, so I decided it’d be fun to take that and turn it into a book. Here’s a sample of two of the prints in progress:

The photo is in fact not blurry as an FYI. Look at the drying rack. The print is just Like That because of the fluorescent pink under the cyan on the frontmost print and the same pink and white on the black paper.

I’m printing on white, beige, and black paper with white, cyan, pink, and yellow ink. I thought about if I want to do 2 or 3 layers per print, so I did an (unpictured) test and regretfully the 3 layer looks *chef’s kiss*. So I may be pulling these two prints in particular aside just to keep for myself and reprint them for the book. 

Originally this book was supposed to be 12 sheets, 4 black, 4 beige, 4 white. 24 prints (printed on both sides). 72 layers, all from 1 plate. And if you don’t know, the whole process of preparing the plate can take, at best, 10-15 minutes because you’re carding the ink into all the crevices and then wiping the plate with cheesecloth to make sure it’s all in those nooks and crannies. I then follow it up with a second wipe down using a sheet of phonebook paper so there’s less “plate tone” (basically a hazy layer of ink over the full thing The white of the paper you can see? That’s cause I polished the plate up so there wouldn’t be ink there). 

If you’re thinking, Icarus, you’re doing this for fun? Yes, yes I am. We’re talking about like 20-24 hours of work for a nifty little book, and that’s if I choose not to add text to the book (and I probably am because this is me). 

Except the UArts school store decided to have a 90% off sale for all their art supplies so I purchased a lot of paper that should last me until March (I might go buy more next week tho). And that means I have a few extra sheets of paper I can cut down into more books pages. So... I’m doing that. Sunday actually cause tomorrow is gonna be just for writing for fun and profit. 

So this 48 page book I was just making for the hell of it is now turning into...

144 pages, 36 sheets of paper (12 white/beige/black), 72 finished prints and 216-288 layers pulled from a single plate.

Why 216-288 layers? Not sure if I want to do 4 layers per print or 3. Gonna test that Sunday. I’ll take pics to actually show y’all. 

We’re talking about more than doubling the hours being put into this, even with the bare minimum layers. And this isn’t including me cutting down the prints, adding text, designing the endsheets and covers, and the binding. 

My goal? To finish this book by the end of the year. And yes, it’s still fun for me. Lots and lots of work for a single book but something I know I will adore at the end of it.