#this isn’t even the first time someone’s stolen the Iron Man armor and Tony’s had to fight them with the original bulky armor

[daydreamerdrew]

Iron Man (1968) #18

[spideythot]

Criminal Au Part 1

This is something I’ve been working on in the background. It’s Superior Iron Man and Theif Peter (w/o powers). More to come! Hope you enjoy.

Warnings: General crime, theft, drugging and kidnapping

———

Peter was in the lobby, making his escape, when a hand came down on his shoulder. A heavy set man gave it a squeeze as Peter whipped his head around. “Not so fast, kid,” he grumbled.

Peter stood dumbfounded for a moment as the man spoke into his earpiece. He recognized him as Stark’s driver, and he was speaking to someone named Rhodes. Peter shrugged out the man’s grip and bolted through the doors, bumping a few shoulders on his way out. He wasn’t waiting around for reinforcements - he could outrun the driver. The man shouted after him but Peter kept running.

He managed to disappear into the subway with the crowd. Peter shoved his hands in his pockets, fingers running over his various prizes. The big score was the watch he’d lifted from one of the other party guests. Peter would pawn them later or sell them in an online auction. He took the long way home, just in case anyone had attempted to follow him. He slipped in to the apartment from the fire escape and quickly checked it for intruders.

Safe at last, Peter hid his prizes in the crawl space of his closet. He made himself a quick dinner and reset the traps on his window. He checked the locks on the front door and the trap there as well. Then he settled in to bed. It was the first peaceful night he had in long time - his rent was as good as paid and he had managed to get away.

Peter woke up late but feeling refreshed. He slowly dragged himself to the kitchenette and froze in place. There was a man on his sofa.

“Mr. Parker,” he said as Peter shuffled back against the wall. “I have to commend you. Those are quite elaborate burglar alarms.”

Well, they obviously hadn’t worked. The man stood, fully clad in silvery armor. Holy shit. Peter felt his heart stop. Tony Stark. Iron Man. He’d robbed Iron Man. Peter tried to slink back into his room. He could escape out of the window if he made it. But Tony turned toward him, piercing blue eyes pinning Peter down.

“Cute for a thief,” Tony mused.

“Ohmygod,” Peter gasped, his voice finally returning.

“That’s the usual response.” Tony walked around the couch and approached Peter. His instincts finally kicked in and he dashed back to his room. But Iron Man’s heavy footsteps followed. Peter grabbed his emergency pack and bolted for the window. He made it to the window sill before a metal hand grabbed him by the pants and hauled him back. Peter shouted and kicked out, but Tony had him by the waist and was dragging him back out to the main part of his tiny apartment.

“Now, now,” Tony tsked, “We can speak like adults.”

He threw Peter down on the couch and stood over him. Peter brought his knees up, trying to curl into the furniture. “Mr. Stark, I am so sorry! I didn’t know if was your watch - I shouldn’t - I didn’t - oh, fuck...” Peter babbled, “...please don’t kill me...”

“I didn’t come all the way down here just to kill you,” Tony said. “I have a better proposition.”

The liquid metal of the Iron Man armor began to disappear off the man, returning the high tech housing on his chest. Tony plopped down next to Peter, who scooted back against the arm of the sofa. “Return to me what you took last night,” Tony said, “And I won’t make your life a living nightmare.”

Peter swallowed and let out the breath he’d been holding. “I sold it,” he lied.

Tony laughed, genuine but ominous. “You can’t lie to me,” he simply replied.

Peter shrugged. Worth a shot. “So, give back the watch and I’m free?” He clarified.

Tony gave him a curt nod.

“No catch?” Peter added.

It was Tony’s turn to shrug. He’d never really be free. He’d stolen from Iron Man and was now under the man’s radar. Peter’s eyes darted around the room. A little voice whispered to him to escape again, but that would be pointless. If Tony could break into his apartment without any trouble, it would be no problem for the man to track him to any safe-house.

“I want you to have dinner with me,” Tony finally said.

“That’s the catch?” Peter scoffed. Tony stared at him, eye brow raised and he regretted sounding so offended. Peter added a little more meekly, “You want to have dinner.”

“A date, essentially,” Tony confirmed. “Where we will be discussing your future enterprises at Stark Industries.”

Peter stared at the man, his gaze narrowing. Dinner with Tony Stark and a job interview. A date implied intimacy too - like a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night. In Stark’s case, the night likely ended with sex. Peter knew the rumors; Stark’s sex tapes, the Tower orgies, and the supposed fetish dungeon. If Peter could get away with a one night stand, he’d take it. It’s not like Stark was unattractive - he was just a psycho.

“Just dinner?” He emphasized.

Tony simply chuckled. He stared Peter down, blue eyes almost glowing. Peter really had no choice... he sighed and went back to his room to get the watch. Peter dug through his crawlspace for his stash and pulled the box out. Tony was leaning against the doorframe when he turned back.

Peter took the watch out from the other pieces he’d stolen and handed it back. “I’ll do it,” he said.

“Of course, you will,” Tony answered. He placed the accessory back on his wrist. “I’ll be sending you something to wear,” he said as he began to walk back through Peter’s apartment. “I’ll pick you up Thursday at six. Don’t run away!”

Peter shivered and retreated to his bed after Stark left. He wrapped himself in the thin blankets and took a deep breath. It could be worse, he supposed. Some people would kill to spend a night with Stark. Dinner and a job was better than a prison sentence.

Friday came much too quickly and Peter couldn’t think of a good way to escape. Even with the pawn money from his other prizes, he didn’t have enough to go anywhere. His suit had been delivered Thursday evening along with a text from an unknown number that read: Show me how it looks.

Peter figured it was Stark. But he replied with: Patience is a virtue. And didn’t take a picture of himself in the suit.

It was a navy blue, with subtle pinstripes and a light gray button down, and it fit Peter incredibly well. Stark had either guessed his measurements exactly or scanned Peter’s body while they’d been together last week. Peter slicked back his hair and stared at himself in the mirror. Just dinner, he reminded himself, dinner and a job proposition.

Tony was waiting for him when he opened the door to his apartment. Peter nearly jumped out of his skin. “Shit! Stark!” He shouted.

“You look nice for once,” Tony replied, completely unfazed.

Peter inhaled sharply. He grit his teeth and followed Tony out of the apartment. He didn’t need to dig himself a bigger hole by snapping out some snide remark. If he could keep it together for dinner, he’d be home free. Tony opened the door to his ridiculously flashy car for Peter to slide in. Peter buckled himself in and tried not to think about the confined space he was sharing with Iron Man. Sure, the man was incredibly attractive - and maybe Peter had a poster of him in his room at one time, but that was packed away in a box of secrets - but he was a psycho masquerading as a hero.

Tony drove them through the city, humming softly to himself, probably to drive Peter crazy. He was wearing the watch Peter had stolen from him, and the boy found himself glaring at it. He kept his arms crossed over his chest in a huff until they reached the restaurant. Tony escorted Peter inside and to a private room for their meal. This place was expensive - candlelit, diamond encrusted table settings, crystal glasses and actual silver tableware. One pinched set of forks and he’d be set for a month - but no, he had to keep the kleptomania in check. Peter sank into the plush booth at the table, menu in hand, and pretended to know what language it was in. He was guessing French. Stark ordered for them when a waiter came in to open their wine.

Peter sipped at his drink while the two sat in silence after their order had been placed. Peter gripped his trousers with tight fingers. Stark was just staring at him with those icy blue eyes - and Peter was sure they were glowing this time. He poorly hid a shiver and cleared his throat.

“S-so... you said you had a proposition?” He asked.

Tony grinned at him. “I was hoping to save business for after dinner,” he said with a sigh, “But since you insist, I have an opening at Stark Industries I’ve been looking to fill.”

“I don’t know if you know this, but my skill set isn’t really meant for an office,” Peter replied.

“I’ll be keeping a close eye on my property, rest assured,” Tony said, “But your skill set and that innocent face of yours will be suited for corporate espionage.”

Peter said nothing, but gulped down more of his wine. He was too sober for this shit. “Think about it kid,” Tony added, “With a steady paycheck you can afford food, a nicer apartment, and loose the risk of incarceration. Full benefits, jailbait.”

“That... does sound nice,” Peter grumbled. It didn’t feel like he was being backed into a corner, but Stark was charming so of course it sounded good. Peter could use money... stop stealing, live a better life. It wasn’t like he’d be working under Stark directly. Peter glanced up at Tony, the edges of his vision blurring slightly. Maybe he shouldn’t have chugged that wine...

“I’ll do it,” he said.

“Excellent,” Tony purred.

Peter slumped in his seat, his head suddenly felt to heavy. The small room was spinning - there was no way this was from the alcohol. His eyes darted across the table, where Stark was still gazing at him.

“Y-you... you drugged...” Peter stammered.

“Yes, I did,” Tony replied. He slid around the half-circle booth and cupped Peter’s face. Peter tried to push him away, but his hands wouldn’t respond. His eyes focused to Tony’s icy blue ones as his body fell limp. “I figured you’d say yes,” Tony whispered, “To the job at least. You’re official title is Personal Assistant. And that comes with... special duties.” His lips locked on to Peter’s throat and he bit down. Peter whimpered and attempt to shake his head - he did not want to end up in Stark’s fetish dungeon. But he was succumbing to whatever Tony had slipped him. His mind clouded, his eyelids were so heavy and each blink was longer and longer. “That’s it,” Stark murmured, large hand resting on Peter’s hip. “Close your eyes, and let your body relax. I’ll take good care of you.” The boy dropped into his arms with the last little push. He mumbled words of protest against Tony’s chest and the man admired his new little toy’s willpower.

[shellheadtmark2]

@worldsfinestspy 7 - would your muse ever get married?

so this is probably gonna be a hella unpopular opinion, but i’m gonna say in most cases, no.  like, it’s not from a lack of wanting to, it’s been a long standing thing that tony has wanted the whole happy marriage, two point five kids, dog, and picket fence for a very long time.  like that’s just a fact - and may seem kind of at odds with who you think of as tony stark, but he admits that on several occasions.  he daydreams about it.  like this is a guy who’d love to have a comfy little family all his own and i think a lot of like...his endeavors and his adopting people is a drive to fill that need in some way.

and honestly, tony’s been engaged and come close to being engaged several times.  his first fiance he broke it off with because when he came back stuck in the chestplate, he figured there was no way he could give her a normal life, and he thinks of it as a good decision, because when he meets up with her years later she’s happily married with kids.  his next great love dies in a fight with titanium man and he goes on a berzerker rampage after to find the people that smuggled him into the country.  he’s actually soft on newlyweds big time.  another potential fiance died when his armor was stolen.  like...when it comes down to it, tony’s just had shitty luck with longterm, permanent relationships.  they don’t work out for him at all (and also because he picks some real winners, but that’s a story for another day).

but i just don’t think tony will ever really get married.  (i’m talking in a 616 sense here, guys, ftr.)  like it works out for some superheroes, sure.  sue and reed have had their ups and downs but they’re making it, and tony has flat out stated he’d kill to have what they do.  but most of the time it doesn’t (stephen and clea) and he sees that, too.  he also sees families put in danger because of what they do, what dying and leaving that family behind does to them - there are just a lot of risks, even with another superhero, that come about when you start trying to talk permanence. giving up iron man, for tony, just isn’t an option.  he’s tried.  and he’d pretty much have to in order to obtain any sense of...normalcy that something like marriage and a family would require, because he wouldn’t wanna be that guy, you know, he’s not looking to be a repeat of his father.  like having a Person Of His Own is the dream, but i think at this point in his life, his time as iron man, and with his businesses yo-yoing in general, it’s just not feasible as a realistic goal.  he doesn’t really date enough, long enough to form those connections.  it’s a nice dream, but i don’t think he considers it one the can have anymore.  and if he did?  it’ll be when he’s older, if he can ever put the iron man aside.  there’s no safety or promises in what kind of life he has and it would be unfair to expect someone else to deal with that.  and he’s selfish like that!  he is.  but he’d have to actually have a candidate in the first place, and somehow beat back the self loathing.

shipping meme | accepting

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #168: First Blood

February, 1978

Wherein the Avengers meet their most hated foe of all time. More heinous than Dr Doom, more despicable than Kang, able to antagonize faster than a whole bushel of Ultrons.

This truly marks a turning point for the Avengers as they meet the Worst Person In the World.

Also Starhawk guest stars in a Rambo movie? I should probably actually read the issue before writing this part of the post.

Last time: THERE WAS A GIANT SPACE THING! But it was a friendly giant space thing and meant no harm. The Avengers met the Guardians of the Galaxy (the ones sans talking trees or raccoons, so probably the less popular iteration). They barely fought at all because both teams are heroes! A bad cyborg with Ultron-6′s lower body aesthetic has gone back to the past to maybe do bad things! He must be stopped!

So we pick up with the Avengers plus the Guardians minus Vance Astro rocketing toward Earth in a surprisingly roomy space capable Quinjet.

And its sans Vance Astro because unlike some Avengers I could mention coughcoughBEASTcough he knows better than to fuck up the space-time continuum by being on the same planet as his younger self.

He sure is lonely though. Alone on that big Drydock space station.

On the Quinjet, some of the Avengers and Guardians bond. Like Nikki Gold asking Scarlet Witch how she even functions in proximity to Thor all the time. How are you not turned on constantly, Nikki Gold asks.

Scarlet Witch: “Well, I am married, Nikki!”

Also this is an awkward line of questioning, Nikki.

Although I don’t think Scarlet Witch has ever shown much interest in Thor. Maybe its because they haven’t been on a team together that frequently but as far as I recall she was interested in Captain America but then became singularly focused on Vision once that sultry brooder heel face turned onto the scene.

Vision too, seems to have only had eyes for Wanda. Its sweet but for what happens later.

But while the people in the back bond, Captain America and Iron Man fret. They can’t seem to contact Jarvis at the mansion. In fact, the mansion’s receiving station seems to be shut down.

What could it mean??

Landing at the mansion, Captain America second guesses Iron Man’s command decisions because that didn’t stop being a thing that was simmering.

Iron Man: “Heads up, Avengers! We’d better be ready for anything -- just in case!”

Captain America: “If you were smart you’d order a precautionary recon, Shell-Head!”

Iron Man: “At ease, mister! I’ll make that decision when and if it’s warranted! Got it?”

But when they get inside the mansion hanger, there’s a loud

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

from the security system alarm.

Captain America: “You convinced that action is ‘warranted’ yet, tin man?”

I love catty Captain America.

The elevator out of the hanger has been deactivated so Thor rips the door open so the Avengers can fly or slide down the cables to the first floor.

My first instinct in this situation was to joke about casually destroying Tony Stark’s property but the man himself is already on it.

Iron Man: “The elevator’s on the first floor! We should be able to climb thru the hatch and get out -- without smashing any more doors, okay?”

Who do you think pays for all of this, Thor?

While Vision ghosts to check the living quarters and finds that every room has been ransacked but nothing stolen, the rest of the Avengers find that the first floor has been similarly torn apart.

Meanwhile the Guardians decide the Avengers have this handled and just stay out of the way.

Sometimes wisdom is letting other people do the work. Because you’d get in their way.

Iron Man discovers that someone is in the meeting room and has sealed the doors from the inside.

That’s no impediment to the armored Avenger, who can overload his repulsors against the door, creating a concentrated explosion.

But he does lament that it comes at the literal cost of a couple thousand dollars of vanadium-steel plate.

Continued dents into Tony Stark’s wallet aside, it did get them through the door and face to face with...

Sunglasses jerk?

So this was your masterplan all along!

Okay but actually: Henry Peter Gyrich from the National Security Council.

He tells everyone to get into the meeting room because he has something he wants to say.

Also he’s holding Jarvis hostage but everyone does that. Hawkeye did that.

Vision Solar Beams the ropes off Jarvis and was that really the best way to do that? You have HANDS. AND ROBOT STRENGTH.

Anyway, with everyone gathered, Gyrich does some worldbuilding.

The Avengers are provided many special privileges by the government. Excemptions from air-traffic regulations, exclusive communications wave-lengths, and oh hey A-1 security clearance and a unique Avengers priority status.

In fact, there’s only two people in the entire country who can override or deny those privileges: the President and Henry Peter Gyrich.

I don’t trust either of those people to override the Avengers.

I mean, lets face it, the president was recently revealed to be a supervillain who tried to take over the country with a mutant powered UFO. This is perhaps a time to scale back on the executive powers. WHEN A PRESIDENT TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE COUNTRY WITH A MUTANT POWERED UFO.

Give Avengers override to Congress or whatever. Because there have to be some checks and at least with Congress you probably won’t get the scenario of a majority of them trying to specifically take over the country with a UFO, powered by mutants.

But to get back to the point, during the Nefaria incident, Gyrich strolled through a twelve foot hole in the wall, subdued the butler, and gained access to everything in the entire building.

Including records, probably literal tons of sophisticated and classified hardware, and computers tied into the US security network. If Gyrich was an enemy agent instead of just a jerk, he could have left with a bushel of the nation’s most vital secrets.

Also, I guess this happens pretty soon after the Nefaria three-parter. Next morning, I guess. Since Beast was taking a shower and Cap was yelling at people for not waking up at 6 to jog thirty miles uphill both ways in the snow.

And I guess Gyrich has just been lurking in the mansion the whole time!

Gyrich keeps on dumping on the Avengers. I mean, its a bad look for them to arrive with a bunch of people with no security clearance right when he’s yelling at them over their security. And also Wonder Man doesn’t have security clearance.

Speaking of Wonder Man. After getting two previous terrible costumes destroyed in battle against Grim Reaper and Count Nefaria, Wonder Man apparently decided to just wear a red safari jacket over a black turtleneck.

It. Actually looks really good on him. Black and red are definitely his colors. And wearing weird but technically normal clothes definitely fits his mindset of not knowing whether he even deserves to be a superhero.

Anyway, after giving the Avengers the biz, Gyrich leaves but not without one parting shot.

Henry Peter Gyrich: “How can you expect to be trusted with this country’s top security clearance, when your own security is a joke?”

Iron Man: “Gyrich! Wait!”

Henry Peter Gyrich: “I’ll be back!”

With Gyrich its definitely a case of ‘you’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole.’ The Avengers’ security is and has always been a shit show. I’ve made constant jokes about it.

They needed someone to kick them in the ass eventually and Gyrich is just the asshole for the job. Of course, he’s also too much of an asshole but what he’s too much of an asshole about is kind of weird that we’re supposed to find it being an asshole. I’ll get to that later.

During all this, the Guardians are feeling very awkward, the way you might if you visit someone’s home and witness a family argument. Or when you get to meet your heroes and see them chewed out by a superior, I guess.

Jarvis feels terrible about all of this. He laments that maybe he should learn jiu-jitsu but Iron Man tells him its nobody’s fault.

Captain America: “BULL!”

Scarlet Witch: “Cap! What on --”

Captain America: “The fact is that we should have beaten Nefaria before he ever got near this mansion! But this team’s been a pushover since you became leader! It’s your fault... because you’re treating your chairmanship like a part-time job! But that’s what it is to you, isn’t it? You’re moonlighting as an Avenger, because you have a full-time job as Tony Stark’s personal bodyguard!”

Another case of ‘you’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole’ but also you’re kind of wrong Cap.

Who do you think pays for the Avengers? Tony Stark. They even live in his house. Maybe don’t begrudge him of needing Iron Man’s time.

But he’s not wrong in that if Iron Man doesn’t have time to devote to being the chairman, he should let someone else handle the responsibility.

But also he’s wrong by handling it this way. He should have brought these concerns to Iron Man privately long ago instead of letting them simmer and then air his dirty grievances all in front of the other Avengers and a bunch of superheroes from the future.

Iron Man retorts that his dealings with Stark are his own dang business and reminds Captain America that all Avengers are guaranteed their personal privacy by their charter.

So Cap punches Iron Man in the face, clearly hurting his own hand.

Captain America: “You low-life mercenary! Don’t the Avengers pay enough for your services?”

But before this can devolve into Civil War 0.2, Scarlet Witch uses her powers to huck a chair between them.

Scarlet Witch: “The days when Avengers engage in senseless brawls among themselves are past -- as long as the Scarlet Witch can help it... and I most certainly can!”

Iron Man: “All right, Wanda! I don’t need your --”

Scarlet Witch: “I have something else to say to Captain America, if you please, Mr. Chairman! I’ll grant you that we’ve had some rough times lately -- and it’s pretty easy to blame the team’s ineffectiveness on the leader, but before you do -- let’s talk about how much help you’ve been recently! Seems to me you haven’t been a factor at all... except once, when you got in my way and prevented me from defeating Ultron!”

Damn. I’d like to report a murder.

Also, does anyone else kind of want to see Scarlet Witch as chairperson right now?

There’s a moment of silence as I guess that all sinks in and then Cap turns around and stalks out of the room.

Captain America: “you win, wanda! you made your point!’

I remember the first time I read these issues, I was annoyed at how ineffectual the Avengers were and how much they fought but I’m kind of into it this time.

These enormous egos have more or less coexisted peacefully for so long with only momentary bits of friction. It was the Kooky Quartet that fought and bickered, not people like Cap and Iron Man.

But as stressful situations keep piling up, it makes a good character beat for them to start chafing at the other.

There’s actually a similar situation in the Busiek run because Busiek must have loved Shooter’s run on Avengers. As I recall, Scarlet Witch took on a sort of moral officer position to take some of the responsibility off of then chairman Cap’s hands.

Anyway, we then decide to check on Hawkeye and Two-Gun Kid again.

I’m getting sort of tired of these digressions where we see why these two aren’t helping the plot of the week. We don’t do it for Hellcat and I care much more about what she’s up to than I do these two.

Anyway.

They apparently quit their ranch job and are on an eastbound train. They’ve decided to rejoin the Avengers after all. I guess Hawkeye got tired of dude-ing it up.

To entertain the passengers and ruin a perfectly good deck of cards, they perform a trick. Two-Gun Kid tosses the deck into the air and Hawkeye nails four aces.

But after they sit down and start talking about how Two-Gun refuses to get in an airplane, he literally blinks out of existence.

Huh. So. I guess checking in on Two-Gun and Hawkeye was for plot reasons this time?

Back at the mansion, Iron Man apologizes to the Guardians for all the awkwardness they just had to sit through. But then they start making plans to guard Young Vance Astro. But it seems like Starhawk just up and vanished.

Wonder what Starhawk is up to?

For that we have to go to Forest Hills.

And here’s a Starhawk thing. Remember when I said Starhawk was in an on-again off-again fusion with Aleta? What that apparently means is that they share a body and can switch between their forms.

And Aleta!Hawk has followed her Starhawk senses to this house on Forest Hills which is filled with dread.

She rings the doorbell and... Carina? Is this where you got off to? Where’s Jan’s sultry summer jumpsuit?

Anyway, Aleta asks to see the master of the house.

And there he is. Michael Korvac.

Wearing green short shorts.

I have to say, something seems different about his lower body and also the rest of him. In that he doesn’t seem to be a cyborg anymore.

He sends Carina away but uses part of his power to protect her from whats about to go down.

Starhawk/Aleta is the only great power in all of existence who is aware of Korvac. And he can’t allow that knowledge to spread.

So one shall stand, one shall fall.

(Why didn’t you tell anyone before you came, Starhawk?)

Thus begins a battle that takes place on every plane of existence.

Which is to say, things are going to get trippy.

The battle is so intense, in fact, that we have the more cosmically aware characters of Marvel reacting to it, a trick that the Dark Phoenix Saga would later pull as well.

The fight creates a freak storm where Peter Parker and Mary Jane are shopping and Peter’s spider-sense danger squiggles louder than ever before.

While meditating, Dr Strange senses a great upheaval in the fabric of reality but is unable to sense the cause.

Captain Marvel senses powerful forces in conflict but despite his cosmic awareness, he cannot pinpoint the disturbance. Almost as if it were being veiled from his perceptions.

And as the fight draws to a close, the Silver Surfer flies over the Earth and senses a whisper of the cosmic wind, almost like a death moan that echoes through the corridors of time and space. But he too is left baffled for meaning.

Its hard to summarize a trippy cosmic battle that takes place on every plane of existence but here are some of the highlights.

While in the material plane, Starhawk fights glowy energy Korvac, there is also a subconscious realm where short shorts Korvac punches Aleta in the face.

Starhawk can sense that Korvac has divided his power to shield Carina from this fight but Korvac claims that Starhawk can sense that even divided Korvac’s power is supreme and that he fights a hopeless fight.

Korvac also states that the core of Starhawk’s strength is his bond with Aleta.

Korvac: “I never feared your power -- but in the oneness of your love... in the union of your souls lay strength to shake the heavens. Now, her will is silenced. No longer do you have the psychic might to keep me at bay.”

And Starhawk is subdued in the physical plane, Aleta defeated on the subconscious plane, and in the astral void where Starhawk is strongest his spirit is at Korvac’s mercy.

And Starhawk does not crave mercy and Korvac dares not risk it. Its not enough to execute Starhawk. He must be obliterated.

So he converts Starhawk’s spirit into base substance, shreds it, and then reduces him to dust.

And in the physical plane, Starhawk is also reduced to dust.

The greatest powers of the universe remain unaware of Korvac. So the ones who would oppose him do not yet prepare themselves for the war that has already begun.

And then Korvac resurrects Starhawk. Remakes him molecule by molecule exactly as he was. With one major change.

Korvac: “Henceforth, you will not remember this incident, nor the fact of my existence... and never again shall your senses perceive me! Go now -- aid your friends in their petty ‘mission’ in this era -- reassure them that it is imperative!”

In this way does Korvac cover his tracks. A missing Starhawk would have brought attention.

And Starhawk flies back to Avengers Mansion where the Avengers and Guardians are discussing the mission.

Iron Man figures that Tony Stark will buy a house in Vance’s neighborhood for the Guardians to use as an HQ. They’ll stay in the neighborhood and keep an eye on Vance and summon the Avengers when Korvac strikes.

Beast remembers that he’s the disguise expert and offers to help some of the Guardians blend in. But probably mostly Nikki Gold and Charlie-27. Yondu and Martinex are going to be hard to disguise.

Unless... I’m thinking trenchcoat and fedora. Its historically the most effective disguise ever.

Starhawk appears and tells the assembled teams that it is imperative that they proceed with the mission. ACCEPT THE WORD OF THE ONE WHO KNOWS!

Which leads me to think that whatever Korvac is planning, it has nothing to do with Vance Astro. Its something much bigger. Something that would aggrieve the greater cosmic powers.

But the belief that he plans to attack young Vance Astro is a helpful diversion that will keep the Avengers and Guardians occupied.

And the book closes out with Michael Korvac, scheming in the darkness of his study.

Probably up to something sinister.

I mean, that’s how I’m reading the tone.

But whatever his evil masterplan it involves short shorts, picking up dates at a fashion show, and a nice home in Forest Hills. So it can be nothing short of insidious and possibly nefarious.

If I didn’t already know where this was going, I would have no idea where this was going.

Next time: filler.

Because sometimes you need an extra month. Maybe Marvel should try that these days instead of having delays. Have a couple filler stories lined up. I guess that would interfere with writing for the trade though...

[ryanmeft]

Spider-Man: Homecoming Movie Review

All Marvel Studios really had to do with their new Spider-Man movie, after a rash of poorly received efforts from Sony, was to get it right. It didn't need to blow anyone's mind; it just needed to be Spider-Man. It is that. It also contains the best supporting cast in a Marvel movie to date, pitch-perfect comedic timing, a fantastic villain, and some genuine twists whether you've read Spider-Man for decades or couldn't tell a Doctor Octopus from a Doctor Robert.

No matter how good a superhero movie is, the part a reviewer always dreads is having to describe the origin story, but I'll give it m...wait, there's no origin story? No, there isn't. It's one of the many touches that make this iteration of the web-slinger fast and funny: it just assumes you already know about Peter Parker's famous origin, and only briefly mentions a bite from a spider in passing. Right to it then: the film begins eight years ago, as a private clean-up crew led by a man named Adrian Toomes (Michael Keaton) is getting set to cart away the remains of the alien battle from the Avengers, a job that is apparently a windfall (2017 minus 2012 equals five, not eight, but it's no big deal). He's stopped by an officious Tyne Daly, who informs him Tony Stark has created a thing called Damage Control to deal with this kind of stuff and that he's out of a job. Realizing he's already got some of that sweet, sweet alien tech sitting in his warehouse, he announces "World's changing, boys. Time we changed too."

Jump ahead eight years, and Peter Parker (Tom Holland) is an energetic, overconfident Spider-Man, getting on the nerves of his handler Happy Hogan (Jon Favreau) and begging his patron Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) for more important assignments than retrieving stolen bicycles and giving directions to old ladies. All of this builds from Captain America: Civil War, though Homecoming is a stand alone story that doesn't deal too directly with the fallout from that movie. Parker's no Avenger. Despite his comics pre-dating those of most of Marvel's characters, he's always been the kid in the room; the movie makes that official by having him be several decades younger than Iron Man or Cap. He's enthusiastic, naive, awkward, and yes, sometimes annoying, because a 15-year-old who is never annoying is like a unicorn. He acts before thinking (as when he heroically stops a man from stealing his own car), confronts crooks without considering the potential collateral damage, dismisses the advice of his mentors and treats it all like a game. He's bullied, too, though not as brutally or physically as in the comics, perhaps because that's a hot topic these days. If you give a put-upon kid a high tech suit that can actually talk to him, the power's likely going to go to his head. Holland gets both the man and the mask right: inside the suit he's a celebrity, outside of it he's too awkward to admit a crush.

He's up against a baddie who is a nice break from the usually larger-than-life villains of Marvel's movies. Toomes builds himself a suit of armor and set of mechanical wings that he can also operate independently of the suit, and becomes The Vulture, though this name is never stated. He doesn't want to rule anything; he simply wants to make a better life for his family and crew. To this end, he pulls off small-scale heists of alien tech, which his men turn into weapons for sale to ambitious crooks. Keaton is vital to the film. As Sam Raimi proved in his first two Spider-Man films,  the hero needs a good villain to be effective, someone who is fascinating even when not pulling off acrobatics. Keaton makes Toomes more of an antagonist that should get equal billing. He doesn't kill if he can help it, focuses on crimes that won't get him noticed, and isn't given to grandstanding. Keaton's key moments come late in the film, in which, like any smart super-baddie, he tries to get the hero on his side. Most of the time that goes something like this: "Join me and be totally evil and kill lots of people." Not tempting for most. Toomes's offer is more realistic: join me and get a slice. Donald Glover, in a small-but-effective role that is also a nerd nod, calls him a psychopath, but he doesn't seem like one.

Also vital is the strong supporting cast. I was of the opinion that this was a major weakness in the much-loved Wonder Woman film, and Spider-Man is the opposite of that. Instead of being defined entirely by a single character trait, Parker's classmates, teachers and family seem like real people living real lives. The students naturally get the most attention. Parker's crush Liz (Laura Harrier) is the serious leader of his Academic Decathalon team, while his classmate Michelle (Zendaya) is frankly more interesting, nerdy, aloof and abrasive in that way young, smart people are. It's frankly a major step forward for female roles in superhero movies that she is both a nerd and not the butt of jokes; she puts me in mind of Mae Whitman in the underrated film The Duff. Peter's best friend Ned (Jacob Batalan) is adorably nerdy, more so than Parker, and I'd like to note that no jokes are made at the expense of his size. Marisa Tomei is completely perfect as an updated Aunt May, and rather than shy away from the ridiculous nothingburger that was the controversy about her age, director Watts and his army of screenwriters emphasize it, as waiters and billionaires are not shy about flirting with her.

Other excellent roles that I just don't have the space to go into detail about (I'm so sorry, actor people) go to Tony Revolori, Garcelle Beauvais, Logan-Marshall Green, Bokeem Woodbine, Michael Chernus, Michael Mando, Jennifer Connelly, Kenneth Choi, Hannibal Buress, Angourie Rice and Martin Starr. This alone is a shock. I recall my dread at having to simply list every X-Men character every damn time, and here I am wishing I had space to devote to each of a dozen minor characters.

The film's more down-to-earth plot is reflected in action sequences that mostly feature Spider-Man squaring off against a single baddie, but the two that define the character are when he must try and keep the Staten Island Ferry from splitting in half due to his own arrogance, and the final showdown with the Vulture, which I dare not describe. The reason they're fighting in the first place may be a bit shaky, but that's par for the course. What matters is the last fight feels, like the one in the original Iron Man, true to each combatant. Their respective motivations don't change at the last minute, and neither behaves in ways that haven't been established as part of their personality. The conclusion, and even the obligatory mid-credits scene, reinforce this as one of the better rivalries in superhero flicks. I'll go ahead and toss in a disclaimer here: I'm a big Spider-Man fan for lots of reasons I won't be discussing here. I have enjoyed all of the movies, though unlike the first two, I haven't felt the need to see the last few more than once. I saw this one twice in one day, when I almost never see a movie twice, period. Your mileage, as they say, may vary, and if you loathe the webbed one this won't change your mind. It is absolutely a product of the MCU universe, and trades in the quirk of earlier films for a more grounded story that may not be to everyone's tastes. Those who longed for Edgar Wright to return to Ant-Man may be left cold. For most, though, I think they'll find Jon Watts and his mob of writers have made a true crowd-pleaser. That word gets thrown around a lot to define a movie that is basically sugar (all sweetness, no nutrition), a definition I personally reject. Homecoming may not be prime rib, but it's completely enjoyable the whole way through, sad and surprising at times, with both good guys and bad guys you want to see again. The day I feel the need to get sniffy about a movie like that is the day I ought to hang it up. And yes, that was a reference to Spider-Man's webs. Hey, I never denied my own nerddom. Verdict: Highly Recommended Note: I don’t use stars but here are my possible verdicts. I suppose you could consider each one as adding a star. Must-See Highly Recommended Recommended Average Not Recommended Avoid like the Plague You can follow Ryan's reviews on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/ryanmeftmovies/ Or his very infrequent tweets here: https://twitter.com/RyanmEft All images are property of the people what own the movie.