#this is why we never do things 'as a joke' it stops being a joke eventually

[suiana]

yandere! best friend who's not really a yandere but actually kinda is if you get what I'm saying. like, like!!!!

he'll say all of thesebout of pocket really weird and REALLY specific stuff that involve loving you but then when it actually comes to doing it he just laughs and says it's all a joke.

"best friend can i eat your ass as we merge our souls to forever be destined as one?"

"is this a joke???"

"obviously 😂☝️ now tell me about jim from work."

this man wouldn't hurt a single person and you know it. bro literally volunteers at homeless shelters and does social work. he loves kids and goes into things with an open mind. he's mindful of his words and would NEVER utter some diabolical line because... why would he???

yet when it comes to you, it's like all stop signs have been brutally removed from the ground and eaten because why is he telling you in DETAIL about how much he wants to live in your walls and watch you sleep??? he's even telling you how you look cute when you're sleepwalking??? you didn't even know you sleep walked???

you can't tell if it's just a #homie thing or what but he gets kinda freaky too and apparently best friends get freaky with each other?? like you two could be in the most BORING situation but all of a sudden you'll feel his hand on your knee, slowly rubbing over where your skin would be. then he'd turn to you with the most bombastic expression, licking his lips before going on with what he was doing before getting his freak up.

"we could get all hot and bothered best friend... just you and me... no one else..."

"BRO we're watching the NEWS"

"so? you're looking extra fine today best friend... mind if i get a taste?"

is he okay?

genuinely?

probably not but he's just your best friend so everything is fine! it's not like he'll ever act on his words... like i said, he's too nice to do that. plus! we all have that one super freaky friend! that... super freaky friend who constantly jokes about... watching you sleep and wanting to merge souls... yeah, the stuff he totally hasn't already done...

"best friend what would you do if i admitted to hiding in your closet while you slept?"

"erm..."

"you look really cute when you sleep, you know."

okay, maybe bro is lowkey kind of fucked up. so what? he's just the weird to your normal. it's fine. he beings drama to your life haha!

and as long as he doesn't commut any one of those heinous acts he constantly yaps and fantasizes about...

[dannielricciardo]

hijacking this post to remind everyone how that announcement went and the absolute insanity that was the lead up to the announcement.

in the lead up to the hiatus, fall out boy has been pronounced washed, folie was the worst album of all time, people would literally boo songs from it on the tour and at one point if i recall correctly, alex from all time low had to make a speech at one of the stops that booing your headliner is not cool and brings the vibes down monumentally (also on that tour, and i am not joking, was metro station). with this farewell, fall out boy call it a day, seemingly absolutely dejected, and embark on various solo projects like the damndest things, soul punk and a pop duo with bebe rexha (yes that one).

then patrick posts "we liked you better fat", a devastating piece on how he can never live up to who he was in fall out boy - "there’s no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or a failure or ugly or stupid or morally empty.[...] I’m a touring artist and I feel I’ve become incapable of touring anymore with any act. [...] there will still be 10-20 percent of the audience there to tell me how shitty whatever it is I’m doing is and how much better the thing I used to do was. Not only that, but that 10-20 percent combined with whatever notoriety Fall Out Boy used to have prevents me from having the ability to start over from the bottom again. I can’t even go back to playing basement shows. As the saying goes: I couldn’t get booked at the opening of a letter." (source. yes, this is on tumblr. pete and patrick were on tumblr answering asks.)

brutally depressing. the public finally realizes that wait a damn minute! these people who were boo'd, ridiculed and made a joke, were actually not some paper dolls but humans with feelings. there's a public outcry of support. here's a reblog of the original post, you can scroll down and see the replies. we hear nothing after that. pete is best man at patrick's wedding. we hear nothing after that.

and then. on 25th january 2013, a then prolific bandom blog, property of zack breaks an exclusive that fall out boy reunion is imminent. that is right, the news that fall out boy is coming back appeared on tumblr first. you would not believe the pull this website used to have.

immediately, the entirety of bandom loses their minds. this is still a time when AbsolutePunk is the place to be when it comes to discussing all things pop punk.

now, if you think likes/replies on insta/tiktok/tw**ter are cool interactions with your fave, you havent been on absolutepunk, solely because this is the only forum where you could find pete wentz randomly quote replying to you in a long ass chain that would inevitably end up with you being banned for being sassy to jason tate. absolutepunk was where EVERYONE went. you found the new bands on absolute punk, you saw mark hoppus comment on a jimmy eat world review, you posted how TTTYG is the only good thing fall out boy has produced.

of course, since nothing every happens™️, absolutepunk declares that zack is pulling shit out of his ass for clicks, zack is in the comments fighting for his live saying "mf just you wait", jason tate is being iffy about it but maybe believes zack? and the general vibe is "yea. sure. reunion. that same band that keeps saying they aren't broken up. w/e man". joe denies it on tw***er almost immediately. if i recall correctly, pete also denied it on the absolutepunk thread.

two weeks later, a message appears on falloutboyrock.com (yes. the website back then was this. since as far back as i can remember):

A MESSAGE FROM PETE, PATRICK, ANDY & JOE

when we were kids the only thing that got us through most days was music. its why we started fall out boy in the first place. this isn't a reunion because we never broke up. we needed to plug back in and make some music that matters to us.

the future of fall out boy starts now.

save rock and roll...-

people were losing their minds. pop up shows sold out in minutes. i've never seen such hysterics in bandom before. you all know the rest. those 10 days between PoZ leaking and the real announcement were the longest 10 days ever. 10 years later, they are still a band. much to think about.

you can take a breath now. happy return day!

[forcaleb]

a dose of love and laughter — caleb

warnings — fluff, sick!reader, caleb taking care of you, angst (like really small part)

notes — a 360 from my previous fic im crying LMFAO \\ tags: @aomiiine

caleb loves doting on you.

no matter how many times you tell him you’re a grown woman who can take care of herself, caleb always finds a way to step in and handle things for you.

“caleb, i promise i can take care of myself while you’re at work,” you say, letting out a small cough. his hoodie keeps you warm against the cool breeze of the air conditioner. you came down with a cold last night, and caleb has been insistent on taking the day off just to look after you. “i don’t want you missing work because of me.”

“but princess…” caleb sighs. “i’m worried you’ll get worse if i’m not here. what will you do if your fever spikes, hm?” he gently brushes your hair back, his touch soft. “let me stay, okay? let me take care of you, just like i always did when we were kids.”

you can’t argue with that. having someone look after you, especially caleb, is comforting. he’s always been good at taking care of you when you’re sick.

his pleading gaze makes you give in. “okay, fine. but if any of your underlings blame me for their colonel being absent, i’m kicking your ass.”

“don’t worry, princess,” caleb chuckles. in one swift motion, he lifts you into a bridal carry, making you squeal in surprise. he sets you down gently on the couch and tucks a warm blanket around you. “you stay here, okay? i’ll go make some porridge.”

you nod and settle into the couch, your favorite tv show playing softly in the background. as much as you hate to admit it, having caleb take care of you brings back warm memories from your childhood. and his porridge is as delicious as you remember.

as you’re about to doze off, you hear caleb’s footsteps approaching. you squint, catching a glimpse of him.

“sleepy already, pipsqueak?” he says softly, setting a bowl of porridge on the table. “want to eat now?”

“only if you feed me,” you declare. caleb laughs, and you hide your smile under the blanket, trying to keep a stern look.

“okay, okay,” caleb agrees, amused. “what would you do without me?” he helps you sit up gently, leaning you against the cushions. taking a spoonful of porridge, he holds it up for you. you open your mouth and savor the warm flavor. “good?”

“mhm,” you hum, swallowing before giving him a smile. “it’s really good. just like i remember.”

“you remember?” caleb asks, sounding surprised.

“yeah, of course i do!” you exclaim, almost choking on the porridge in your excitement. caleb quickly hands you a cup of water. after taking a sip, you continue, “i tried recreating it when you were gone, but i could never get it right.”

caleb’s expression softens, a hint of sadness in his eyes. “really?” he glances down at the porridge, avoiding your gaze. “maybe i should make a recipe book for you. that way, you can make all of caleb’s specialties anytime.”

“hey,” you say gently, placing your hand under his chin to lift his face. “what’s wrong? why do you look so sad?”

he leans into your touch. “just… thinking about you being sick all alone, with no one to take care of you.”

you giggle softly. “why are you upset over that? you know i’m good at taking care of myself.”

“yeah?” caleb asks, a teasing glint in his eyes. “so, you don’t want me to feed you right now?”

“wha-” you quickly grab his hand, stopping him from leaving. “of course i want you to feed me! i’m sick, caleb! i can’t believe you’re joking with a sick person right now,” you say, feigning indignation to lighten the mood.

it works. caleb’s laughter is so genuine that it nearly brings tears to your eyes. you’ve missed his laugh, his smile — everything about him. even though it’s been weeks since you reunited, you still haven’t gotten over how much you missed him.

“you’re contradicting yourself, pipsqueak,” caleb teases. “so, can you take care of yourself or not?”

“hmm,” you pause, pretending to think. “i can take care of myself. but when you’re here, i’d rather have you take care of me.”

caleb blinks, then bursts into laughter again. “why are you laughing? i’m serious!” you protest.

“i know, i know,” he says, wiping a stray tear of laughter from his eye. he gently pats your head. “i’ll take care of you. i promise.”

[starcurtain]

More Phaidei Fics I Want to Read

1. Obligatory "fish out of water" fic (mostly AU because the timeline would probably not match canon, but we do what we want here!), taking place after Mydei and the Kremnoans first make it to Okhema. Okhema is already harsh on outsiders, let alone on a conquering "barbarian" tribe infamous for bringing strife to so many other city states. Mydei doesn't know the local customs at all, and while he doesn't care the slightest about how these pathetic Okhemans see him, the trouble he keeps getting into is affecting the reputations of innocent Kremnoans too. He's got to find a way to blend in, at least enough to stop costing his fellows any chance of finding paid work... Too bad the only person who is willing (and has time) to help is Phainon (who isn't native to Okhema either but done a much better job of learning to get along with the locals). The guy thinks he's the Titans' gift to Amphoreus just because he beat Mydei in a duel once. It was only once! And why does it matter whether we eat standing up or lying down? What are you laughing at, Savior Complex?! Or, tl;dr: The culture clash comedy one where Phainon and Mydei teach each other entirely opposing sets of manners, and come to learn a lot more about one another in the process.

2. Also obligatory omegaverse where Mydei is an omega born with a unique constitution: he's built like an alpha, snarls like an alpha, and dominates his opponents like an alpha. He even smells like an alpha, especially when he's in heat, so the only people who ever figured out his secondary gender were his doctor and his parents, all of whom are dead now. The whole world thinks Mydei is an alpha, and his reputation as an indomitable warrior prince pretty much hinges on people continuing to believe that. The problem is, Mydei wouldn't actually mind getting to live an omega's life, at least the part about finding a mate and starting a family. Only, who in the world would want him for a mate? Any alpha hunting for an actual omega would never think to look in Mydei's direction, betas would just be confused, and even those few alphas who are attracted to other alphas would only end up disappointed after discovering Mydei isn't one. He's nobody's ideal partner, and he'd mostly made peace with that--until Phainon. Until that upstart alpha from the middle of nowhere knocked Mydei down in a brutal spar and then pulled him up with the gentlest hand, and suddenly it mattered that no one would ever want Mydei. It mattered a lot. (Of course, the long and short of it is that Mydei is the man of Phainon's dreams, and after a series of setbacks and miscommunications and lots of silly angst, they'll find their way to a happy ending.)

3. After discovering Mydei's weakness for sweets and cute things like pink pomegranate juice, Phainon decides to engage in a bit of light-hearted teasing: He starts sending Mydei exceedingly adorable gifts and fancy candies under the guise of a "secret admirer." The joke is on Phainon, however, when it turns out Mydei finds the gifts quite charming and is determined to discover the identity of the mysterious gift giver. A reasonable person would quickly give up on the joke to avoid getting caught, but Phainon has always been weak to chasing thrills--and maybe this whole thing about being Mydei's "secret admirer" isn't too far off after all... (The real joke is that Mydei, realizing immediately who the gifts were from, invented an entire "hunting my admirer down" story just for the fun of watching Phainon squirm--and, well, because keeping the whole thing going, being showered with attention by his rival, doesn't feel too bad at all.)

4. The opposite fic: The one where Mydei's completely mismatched online personality accidentally catfishes Phainon and causes some very silly drama. Mydei's (anonymous) teletweet account is full of cutesy chimera kitten memes, aesthetic pictures of food, heart emojis, and overly punctuated (with exclamation points) recaps of shopping trips in Okhema's market... Can anyone blame Phainon for thinking this is the account of a cute girl who is refreshingly earnest about her love for chubby seals and pink milk tea? But as Phainon becomes closer and closer to "Fig Stew" online, things get more and more complicated--because he's also been getting closer and closer to his real world companion Mydeimos lately. Both Fig and Mydei are wonderful, and Phainon can barely bear the thought of losing either of them in his life. Trying to get closer to them both would be way too dishonest, but choosing one over the other... What should he do? Meanwhile, Mydei is in trouble. He wasn't planning to set up some secret identity or anything; it's not his fault Phainon mistook him for a girl online! There's nothing weird about dudes posting sparkling kitten gifs, godsdammit!! But now the charade's gone on way too long to come clean, especially since Phainon seems so invested, and... well, can you blame Mydei for not wanting to give up on the closest thing to a relationship he's ever managed to start? tl;dr: Online mistaken identity hijinks fic.

5. The required-in-every-fandom time travel fic (with bonus fake dating)! Through an outpouring of Oronyx's power, Mydei and Phainon end up in the bodies of their future selves, who, it turns out, have not only managed to end Amphoreus' war and revive Castrum Kremnos, but... appear to have also... gotten married?!! Now Mydei and Phainon have to not only find out exactly how their future selves managed to save the world (so they can accomplish the same task) then look for a way back to their own time--they've got to do all of that while also pretending to be a happily wedded pair of rulers to avoid raising everyone's suspicions. This would be a whole lot easier if either of them knew the first thing about being actual kings... or about relationships. The slightest slip up could create ripple effects that change the entire timeline permanently, but--no matter how nerve-wracking it might be to admit, after seeing the future in store for them together--there's nothing Phainon (and Mydei) won't do to make sure things go exactly as they should.

[28harryssunflower]

Broken paradise

The Italian coastline stretched endlessly before you, the deep blue sea kissing the golden sand beneath the balcony of your villa. The warm breeze carried the scent of salt and citrus, and the soft sound of waves filled the quiet space between you and Harry.

Everything was supposed to be perfect.

And for the first few days, it was. Mornings tangled in the silk sheets of his bed, afternoons spent floating in the infinity pool with glasses of white wine, evenings filled with laughter and whispered confessions over candlelit dinners. Harry had made sure of it - meticulously planning every moment, every detail, down to the playlist that played softly through the villa’s speakers. It was your own little world, untouched by reality.

Until now.

Now, you were standing on opposite sides of the bedroom, voices raised, hearts pounding - not from passion, but from frustration.

Harry scoffed, running a hand through his curls. “You can’t seriously be mad about this.”

Your arms crossed tightly over your chest. “I’m not mad… I’m just tired of you making me feel like I’m being ridiculous every time I bring something up.”

His green eyes flashed with exasperation. “Because you are being ridiculous!”

Your stomach twisted. “Wow. Thanks for that.”

Harry exhaled sharply. “That’s not what I meant. But really? You’re upset because I said you overpacked? It was a joke.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “It wasn’t just that, Harry. It was the way you said it - like you were rolling your eyes at me, like I was being annoying. And it’s not the first time.”

His jaw tensed. “So now I’m not even allowed to joke with my wife?”

“Not when it makes me feel like an idiot!”

Silence fell between you, thick and suffocating. The golden light from the setting sun spilled into the room, casting long shadows across the marble floor. Somewhere outside, the waves kept crashing, oblivious to the storm brewing inside.

Harry let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “You know, I don’t know why we even bothered with this honeymoon if we were just going to spend the whole time fighting.”

Your breath caught in your throat. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” he snapped. “This was supposed to be perfect. I planned everything to be perfect. And yet, here we are, arguing over nothing.”

Your hands balled into fists. “Oh, I’m sorry,” you bit out. “Did you expect us to just exist in some fantasy where we never have problems?”

“No, I just didn’t think we’d be like this. Not now, not so soon.”

His words stung.

Your voice was quieter when you asked, “So soon?”

He hesitated, rubbing his jaw, his frustration evident. “We just got married,” he muttered. “And we’re already fighting like this. It makes me wonder if we’re going to be doing this for the rest of our lives.”

The air in the room shifted.

Something in your chest ached, and before you could stop yourself, the words tumbled out. “Well, if you already regret it, maybe we should just get a divorce now and save ourselves the trouble.”

The second the words left your mouth, you wished you could take them back.

Harry’s entire body stiffened. His face paled, the anger in his eyes flickering into something else - something shattered.

“What?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

You swallowed hard, suddenly feeling sick. “Harry, I didn’t mean-“

But it was too late.

His expression darkened, hurt flashing across his features before he masked it with more anger. “Right,” he said coldly, nodding as if he finally understood something. “So that’s where we are now? One fight, and you’re already throwing divorce in my face?”

“That’s not what I meant!” you said desperately. “I was just frustrated!”

“Frustrated?” he repeated bitterly. “Frustrated enough to throw away everything we just promised each other?” He let out a dry laugh, stepping back like he couldn’t stand to be near you. “Unbelievable.”

Your throat tightened. “Harry-“

“Don’t.” His voice was sharp, cutting through the tension like a blade. “You don’t just say things like that. You don’t throw divorce at me like it’s nothing.”

Guilt twisted inside you. You had said it to hurt him, to make a point, but you hadn’t expected it to cut this deep.

“I don’t want that,” you said, your voice trembling now. “I don’t want anything but you.”

His jaw tensed, his chest rising and falling with uneven breaths. For a moment, you thought he was going to turn away, to walk out.

But then, his shoulders sagged, and his face softened - just barely. He dragged a hand down his face, letting out a slow breath before looking at you again.

“I don’t either,” he murmured. “But you can’t say things like that. Not when I mean forever with you.”

The fight wasn’t gone, but the anger had faded, replaced by something more fragile. More raw.

You hesitated before stepping closer, reaching for his hand. “I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I didn’t mean it. I was just upset, and I wanted to hurt you the way I was hurting.”

His fingers tightened around yours, warm and steady. “I know,” he said softly. “But I hate fighting with you. And I hate even thinking about losing you.”

Tears burned at the back of your eyes. “You’re not going to lose me,” you promised. “I love you. Even when we fight. Even when we’re both being idiots.”

That finally brought a small, tired smile to his lips. He sighed, pulling you into his arms, burying his face in your hair. “I love you too,” he murmured. “Even when you overpack.“

You groaned, but there was no bite behind it. “Too soon, Styles.”

His laughter rumbled against your skin, and just like that, the tension eased.

The honeymoon wasn’t perfect.

But love wasn’t about perfect. It was about choosing each other - even when it was hard. Even when it hurt.

[captainsamuelmorrigan]

Poolverine NSFW [mentions & talking about sex acts]

Logan isn't exactly 'secretive' about his sex life. He just thinks everyone is a little too blasé about revealing details about their private life. Call him old-fashioned, but he is perfectly happy to keep his experiences between him and his lovers.

Of course, Wade has to poke the bear, or rather, the Wolverine. He's desperate to know what over 200 years of trudging through the world as a hunka-hunka burning love produces in the bumping uglies department. What kind of kinky shenanigans could a mutant Edward Scissorhands get up to? And that healing factor? That meant all-nighters to him.

"Peanut, have you ever heard of 'pegging?'" Wade leans over the couch, encroaching Logan's personal space in a way that would be concerning if Althea hadn't made a rule about drawing blood in the tiny apartment.

Logan nods, not looking up from his book. "Yeah."

Wade fist pumps. "Someone in some universe owes someone five bucks for that one. Hell yeah, feminist king. Have you ever tried it?"

"Why do you care?" He licks his finger before turning to the next page.

"I'm curious like a cat, Wolvie-bear. Except satisfaction has nothing to do with me coming back. Who was the lucky girl?"

"I'm going to stop talking now. I suggest you do too." Logan remarks with a flash of his middle claw.

Several days pass before Wade brings up something like that again. Waltzing into Logan's room, an interdimensional add-on that was part of the perks from the TVA.

"So, Babygirl, do you pitch or catch?" Wade mimes the baseball gestures. "Are you more of a gun or a holster? Gifted or receiver? One or a zer-"

"Depends on the person."

"Ooooh~, look at you using gender-neutral language. What makes you decide?"

Logan closes his laptop with a sigh. "Bub, listen, I really don't talk about this stuff with people I'm not sleeping with. It's nothing personal, I just really prefer not to get a reputation."

"So if I blow you, I can ask about the past of the X Mansion pass around party bottom? Deal." Wade starts in on Logan dramatically.

"I'm not that easy, Bub. We may have had some moments in the car, but I'm not a cheap date. You haven't even told me about your past."

"I've joked about Scout Master Kevin many times!" Wade flops onto the bed, jostling Logan a bit.

"That shit doesn't count, and you know it. You haven't mentioned anything to me that wasn't horribly traumatic. I'm starting to think you don't even like sex." He teases lightly.

Wade shouts. "How dare you! Vanessa and I had a great sex life." He drives his pointer finger into Logan's chest.

Logan bats it away, rolling his eyes. "I never hear about it."

"Well, that's..."

He looks at Wade, meeting his eyes. "Bub, I'm perfectly happy to talk about this kind of thing, but I need you to start taking it seriously. I'm not entirely sure you have taken anything seriously, but I'd like to know what you're into in a way that isn't you joking about mortal wounds giving you a stiffy."

"That one is only half a joke." Wade mumbles, smiling nervously at him.

"After the Honda, I know, Bub."

They begin to have more serious conversations over the next few weeks. Wade opens up about some of the things he's done, with Vanessa, past girls, and even a few guys. It takes a while of Wade being vulnerable, for real this time, but eventually, he starts to get some information out of the Wolverine.

Wade sidles up to Logan on the couch. "Okay, so, who introduced you to pegging? I have to know? I told you about Vanessa wanting to try it out." He waits with baited breath, hoping he's done enough to earn Logan's trust on this.

Logan raises an eyebrow. "Clarification, are we talking strictly about a cis woman using a prosthetic, or are we including trans women using their own?"

"Great question, let's say the store-bought kind."

"I think I heard about it from a couple of bra-burning girls in the 70s? Tried it out with one of them, probably around 78'. It was pretty okay. I think it got a lot better around the early aughts."

"And Jean?"

"Oh, you wanted specifics? Not there yet, Bub." He pats Wade's leg before getting up to go to the kitchen. His hips swinging just a bit more to add a sassy emphasis.

"Logie-bear! Wolvie! Peanut! C'moooonn!! I've been a good boy!" He begs.

Wade begins to plan date nights. Logan said he wasn't a cheap date, so Wade's going to make sure he feels respected. Wade even breaks out the second-cheapest wine from the nearest liquor store. The good stuff. He makes a full meal twice a week. He even brings home some yellow roses for Logan.

One night, over dressed-up ramen, Logan looks at Wade with something hungry in his eyes.

"Jean used to peg me while Scott watched. It was a whole thing."

"You're fucking kidding."

"Nah, I'd take it, then he'd take it from both of us. Plus, with Jean's powers..." He whistles. "We'd all feel what the others were feeling. It was some of the best sex I've ever had."

Wade barks out a laugh, shaking his head. "Are the rumors true? Were you really doing everyone on the team?"

Logan smirks. "Well, there were teenagers on the team, so obviously not everyone, but it was a pretty good possibility if they liked men."

Wade squeals like a teenage girl, lightly kicking his feet before leaning in closer. "And what about Ororo? That must've been crazy."

Logan shrugged. "She didn't like having her private life gossiped about, so we're gonna skip that one, Bub."

Wade nods. "Kurt? Hank? Anyone else?"

Logan thinks for a moment. "Kurt was a bit young for me. Hank was a little stuck up, but if we both had a few drinks in us, he was likely to want some action. They all..." He pauses, that deep frown that furrowed his fuzzy brow taking over his expression, something internally catching his attention. "Well, y'know."

Wade's shoulders sag as the weight of the loss that this Logan had suffered pulled at him. "Oh man, Logan, I'm so sorry."

Logan shakes his head, getting up to go to the kitchen and grabbing a beer, ending that conversation. He stays quiet, with that far away look in his eye. He goes to bed early. Wade worries late into the night. If he still had hair, he swears most of it would've been pulled out by morning.

The next day, Wade makes breakfast. Plenty of greasy sausage, just like they both liked it. Eggs were placed in such a way that the sausage smiled up at a groggy Wolverine. "Morning Sunshine, the Earth says, 'Hello!'"

Logan hums in acknowledgment.

"I was thinking about our conversation from last night." Wade worries the hem on his 'Suck the Chef' apron between his fingers. "I... I'm sorry if I brought up anything too painful. Really, I am. We don't have to talk about your sex life anymore if you don't want to."

"That wasn't your fault." Logan puts his silverware down, wiping his mouth before looking up at Wade. "I wanted to tell you."

"You said you didn't usually talk about your sex life to people you weren't bumpin-"

"If you call it 'bumping uglies' one more time, I'm going to break Althea's 'no blood' rule, I swear to God." He flashes his slowly protruding claws at Wade.

"Noted. My point is, we're not doing anything physical, though. You said you only talked about that with people you were physical with."

Logan shrugs. "I was planning on being physical with you. I just got cold feet when I realized that would've been the first time with someone I cared about since the X-Men."

Wade slides into the chair next to Logan. "Peanut... yeah, that totally makes sense. Besides some really poor choices, you would've been my first since Vanessa."

Logan sighs. "A breakup ain't the same as dyin, Bub."

"No, not at all. I'm just saying that that was still a raw spot for me. You waited until I was ready to talk about it, and you were patient. Even though you've got the most rockin' bod I've ever seen, I'm not trying to jump your bones if you're not into it too, Wolvie. We could just be roommates forever, and that's fine." He puts his hand on Logan's shoulder.

Logan huffs out a laugh. "I'm certainly not saying never. I've got needs, Mouth."

Wade pulls his apron off his lap a bit to hide his rapidly growing erection. He squeaks out a "That's fine too," before fist pumping once again. "Also, calling me 'Mouth?' You're gonna have to do that again once sexy things have started."

Logan laughs. "It's a date."

[lastoneout]

how do you make a whole post about people suffering from the tariffs and the need for compassion and never once consider the canadians who will suffer from the us initiating a trade war

That post was intentionally, very specifically directed at leftist Americans in blue states who are making jokes about people in red states suffering, with a side of me complaining about a small part of the Canadian government's plan about how to address this extremely complicated situation that I, in the post, admit to not fully understanding. I will apologize for that at least, that wasn't really what I meant to be talking about but I kinda had to critique the targeting red states part to explain my point about how the GOP thinks and why OTHER AMERICANS SPECIFICALLY should reconsider the way they talk about this. I didn't mean to say Canada was wrong to act, I was trying to address how certain Americans are responding to those actions, and that kind requires talking about Canada.

(I will also admit that I am am slightly salty at every single other country at the moment given most of them, including, as far as my research could turn up, Canada, won't let disabled people immigrate there unless we can work which like. We can't. Or we have a spouse or family member who has a job that will cover all of our expenses which....yeah most of us don't have access to jobs like that. My fiancé can provide for myself and him atm but he loses his job if he leaves America. We're queer and disabled and stuck here because the majority of the world doesn't think disabled people are worth saving. So yeah, kinda feels a bit like being complete abandoned by everyone and it does color my perspective a bit even if I do happen to agree that Canada should protect it's people from the harm Trump's bullshit is about to rain down on them.)

But yeah, obviously the entire world is going to suffer because of the shit Trump is pulling and I'm pissed about that too. The Canadian and Mexican governments cannot just sit by and do nothing while their people suffer, and I don't fault them having to take drastic measures even if I do disagree with the way one government is going about it. At the end of the day all of this suffering is Trump and Musk's fault and they should be the ones shouldering the majority of the blame. But I'm also allowed to make posts about one thing that is specifically directed at a singular group of people, especially a group of people I'm part of. I'm allowed to critique my own political allies when they fuck up. And as far as I've seen most of us have been not only very sympathetic, but borderline too eager to shoulder the blame themselves for the rest of the world suffering. I haven't seen any leftist ignore that the people of Canada and Mexico are going to suffer due to the actions of our government. I've even seen some of them legit reaching suicidal levels of self-hatered, saying they don't want to suffer but it's what we all(Americans) deserve for letting this happen, as if it was the people's fault and not a small group of money and power-hungry bastards who don't give a shit about anyone but themselves. I did not detect a lack of sympathy for the populations of other countries amongst Americans discussing this topic so I did not think that needed to be addressed in my post critiquing said Americans for their lack of sympathy for their countrymen.

So yeah. I am sorry to the Canadians and Mexicans who are going to suffer. I'm really, really fucking sorry. This is embarrassing and scary and painful for all of us, I wish I could stop it. I'm one disabled person who is bedridden recovering from surgery cycling through the stages of grief so fast it's making me nauseous. Your government IS right to try to protect you, I would give anything for mine to do the same, not just for Americans but for everyone trapped on this earth with us.

But again, I am allowed to make posts that are about one thing or talking to one specific group of people. I wasn't trying to address the people in other countries at all, this was talking to American progressives and liberals and leftists, and very specifically ones living in blue states, addressing how they talk about other Americans and how poorly it reflects upon them.

I apologize for not being able to cover every single aspect of a massive, extremely complicated situation in my one post, and sorry for being so bitchy about the Canadian government, I didn't mean to imply that other people aren't gonna suffer too. I figured that went without saying since I've seen so many Americans talking about it already. We should do both. Sympathy for everyone who's going to suffer.

I'm going to go lay down and continue to worry about my American friends and Canadian friends, and everyone now. Bye.

[toasttt11]

ice cream

October 22, 2021

Mary was sitting on the bleachers at the hockey rink waiting for Will, Ryan and Gabe to come out of practice. She had practiced already and walked over to the rink that NTDP practices at and worked on homework at the rink while the boys finishes up.

Gabe came out of the locker room first as he always does and smiled seeing Mary sitting in her normal spot and walked right over to her plopping down next to her, he nudged her just slightly with his elbow.

Mary slipped her headphones off her ears and rested them on her neck.

Living with the Smith’s for almost two months Gabe has gotten really close with Mary and Will.

Gabe is really glad that at least one of the Smith siblings is quieter because Will can yap for so long and Mary could too but she mostly likes being quiet.

Gabe was extremely impressed the first time he saw Mary play hockey, she is smaller than everyone but she’s so quick and the way she skates is so elegantly that she just glides around everyone so easily. He really hoped she played with the NTDP next year because he would love to play on the ice with her.

“You okay?” Gabe asked gently noticed her quieter than usually.

“Yeah just a long practice.” Mary mumbled her body tired from the practice and the amount of times she got hit by her teammates. Her teammates are only getting meaner to her.

Gabe nodded softly and knew she was feeling down so he leaned closer, “You know Leon and Smitty never shut about you.” Gabe playfully whispered making Mary glance over at him.

“They do?” Mary whispered back, it’s been weird lately they suddenly she doesn’t know all of Will and Ryan’s jokes or stuff that happened anymore because they are not on the same team. She guessed it’s something she needs to get used to.

“Half of the time they talk about something it’s about you.” Gabe softly told her, he’s realized Mary is probably having a harder time playing without Will and Ryan because she is alone.

Mary smiled softly to herself, “Thanks G.” Mwah mumbled knowing what Gabe is doing

Ryan and Will walked over seeing Mary and Gabe talking to each other, “Ready to go?” Will asked softly setting a hand on his little sister’s back.

Ryan narrowed his eyes slightly looking between Gabe and Mary and noticed Gabe was trying to cheer Mary up, Ryan frowned thinking how Mary has been even quieter lately and her smiles smaller and got an idea to make her feel better.

Ryan grinned brightly at Mary’s playful glare as he picked up her backpack for her and just shrugged as she tried to take it back, she should know by now Ryan is always going to steal her bag and hold it.

The four walked out to Ryan’s car and Will and Gabe knew to get in the backseat because Ryan won’t let them sit in the front if Mary is there.

Ryan drove them to the Smith’s house and he set a gentle hand on Mary’s arm to stop her from getting out the car, “I’m stealing Ellie for a little bit.” Ryan grinned as he saw the confused looks from Will and Gabe when Mary didn’t get out of the car.

“Bring her back safe and sound.” Will playfully glared at Ryan making Ryan smirk and salute Will.

Ryan waited till Will and Gabe got inside till he started driving again.

“Where are we going?” Mary asked Ryan softly, she didn’t mind staying with Ryan as she hasn’t gotten to spend time with just Ryan in a while.

“It’s a surprise.” Ryan just grinned mischievously making her fondly roll her eyes but accepted his answer.

Ryan turned into a parking lot and Mary saw a small little ice cream shop on the lake front.

“Ice cream?” Mary asked softly realizing exactly why Ryan brought her here.

“We haven’t found a new ice cream spot yet.” Ryan grinned softly at her seeing her perking up at the thought of ice cream.

Getting ice cream has always been a Ryan and Mary thing, one of the few things Will never has joined. They use to go a lot back in Boston to the same place but haven’t gotten ice cream since they both moved to Michigan.

Ryan and Mary walked up to the little ice cream shack and Ryan opened the door for Mary to walk in first.

Ryan smiled to himself seeing Mary look even more excited when she saw her favorite flavor ice cream, he may of checked the menu of ice cream shops around them to make sure the one they went to had her favorite.

Mary ordered her two scoops of salted caramel ice cream and Ryan ordered three scoops of chocolate before he playfully shooed Mary away to go find a seat as he paid.

Mary shook her head knowing she wouldn’t be able to pay with Ryan and went outside finding a seat and sat down slipping her headphones off her neck and onto her ears.

Ryan came out of a few minutes later holding their ice cream and wasn’t surprised to find her outside and he came over to her and set the ice cream on the table before gently tugging one of Mary’s waves to get her attention and she slipped her headphones down.

“Thank you.” Mary said before humming happily as she took a bit of her ice cream.

Ryan nodded and smiled back.

He furrowed his brows seeing a car pulling up blaring music and knew it could aggravate Mary’s, “Want to share?” Ryan asked her holding up his AirPods.

Apple had recently come out with a feature to share music on one phone to two headphones, something that Mary really really loves.

Ryan loves it to because he’s get to listen with Mary and she’s more comfortable.

Mary smiled happily quickly nodded opening up her phone and connecting Ryan’s AirPods and turned her music back slipping her headphones back on.

This was perfect for Mary, she was eating one of her favorite things and got to block out the world but also listen to music with her Ryan and just enjoy time together.

Ryan successfully cheered Mary up and he glanced at her content face and hoped on day they could talk about the kiss they had, the kiss he never stops thinking about and hoped one day he could kiss her again.

[girlnadian]

(humble kenwatter voice)hi can you put the omz mask on seawattgaming this drabble request season

sorry i held this hostage for one months. forgive me. i hope you like this patented "everything only gets worse for kenadian forever" moment even though it is dreadfully late. blood and temporary character death warning

724 words // divider

When certain things happen in the present, Ken will find himself reminiscing on the past. His memory isn't what it used to be—hasn't been in a handful of years, now—so things aren't always clear, but he still likes doing it: finding cause and effect, identifying patterns, being able to trace the through line of where he was to where he is now.

Not for the first time, Ken realizes that it doesn't matter how often he reflects. Being aware of his actions has never changed the outcome. It all feels like fate playing a cruel joke.

Looking at Seawatt has never been hard for him before. It shouldn't be hard to look at Seawatt.

"Why," Ken's voice croaks dangerously, "why are you doing this to him?"

The mask tilts Seawatt's head. It's a sickening color against the glow of Seawatt’s skin, too-pale and nearly-green and jarring against the pure white of his robes. It almost makes Ken laugh, how out of place it all feels—he traces the through line over and over and it still doesn't lead him to why, why, why on earth would the Omz Mask give a fuck about SeaWattgaming? What does Seawatt offer it? It can only be to hurt Ken. Well, it's working; Ken wants to scream.

"You left him out for me," he– it says. Seawatt can be uppity and arrogant, but he doesn't have it in him to croon like that. It's an unnatural cadence for him, like it doesn't fit right in his throat. Ken anticipated the blow, but it still hurts.

It's always his fault and he's so tired of putting people in danger. Seawatt doesn't deserve this. If anyone is innocent in all this, it's Seawatt: he's a bystander at most, dragged off of the sidelines only by his association with Ken. If Ken hadn't started this, if Ken had been a better person–

It's Seawatt's hand that reaches out to him. Ken prickles but can't find the resolve to bat it away.

"He's easy to control," Seawatt's voice drops into a murmur, quieter and quieter the more his body crowds into Ken's space. "Me and him, we want the same thing."

"You and Seawatt?"

Ken thinks Why the hell am I talking to it? a little too late. The body hums.

"You," it says.

A flash of emotion runs through Ken all at once, white hot dread and anger that makes all his fur stand on end.

"Shut up."

"He wants you desperately. Do you know that?"

"I said shut up!"

"But you just want to play," Seawatt's hands have found Ken's wrists. Ken's claws flex against his own palms until he draws blood—it runs down his wrist until it hits the barrier of Seawatt's fingers. Ken hisses, ears pinned back, teeth bared in a snarl that gets louder with every word, as if he can drown it all out. He won't– he won't let this thing do this, take this moment from Seawatt, he won't, he won't–

But Seawatt has the advantage in height and weight. The mask has no qualms holding Ken in place until he bruises, and Ken isn't going to hurt Seawatt any more than he needs to. He only knows one other way to shut Seawatt up.

"Even though he's in l–"

Ken jerks forward, knocking their teeth together in a kiss that's all ache and no kindness. The noise that startles out of Seawatt's body is a yelp, squeaky and genuine and Seawatt, not the Mask, so Ken pushes harder.

It's hard to maneuver around the porcelain, but Ken tilts his head as best he can to stop the other from pulling away. His wrists are free a moment later—Seawatt's hands end up on his lower back, instead. Ken believes, more than anything, that it's Seawatt touching him. He digs his fingers into the fabric over Seawatt's torso.

"I'm sorry," Ken whines. I'll make it quick.

There's blood on Ken's hands and the front of his hoodie, but it's worse on Seawatt. It spills over his dark skin and stains the white and gold of his clothes. The gash in Seawatt's throat is shaped like Ken's claws. Ken leans forward to press a kiss against it and gets a mouthful of copper for his trouble.

When the body drops and despawns, Ken sinks to the floor alone.

[nahida-flower-princess]

so we are going back to

shifting the blame again

encouraging harassment

looking away when your friends do degrade and harass people (I bet they felt good after making the death threat or calling all proshippers 50 year old men like its funny)

you ignored the conspiracy theory

and no you still generalized and pretend fanfiction turns people evil, and all proshippers defend evil.

I will not pretend that there aren't people who use fiction in a way that harms them, but the majority uses fiction to live out their fantasies and thoughts or deal with feelings they can't in real life.

Some of that might be uncomfortable, or sexual, or weird, or offensive, but unless it causes this person serious distress or harms someone around them, then you can't say that it is actually harmful. You still think what someone enjoys in fiction is a reflection of their irl morals when there is no proof of this

Again you (all) do not care about research, you do not care about mental health, you care about winning a fight that you know you can win. Winning feels good

It has everything to do with personal disgust (and I meant your friends, not you). Your friends are at an age where everything connected to sex will be gross to them (understandable), but that doesn't give them the right to go out and say "well every person who is not WITH me is AGAINST me and most likely a pedo/abuser"

There is a reason why you and your friends don't speak against Stephen King, or Colleen Hoover, or George R. R. Martin, or the director of the movie "Cuties", or why you people (not you star) went along with turning Epstein into a joke when a false story against Hawking became focus.

It's because you don't go after what's problematic, you go after battles you know you can win to feel good. You go after people who can't defend themselves or who are already looked down on by society

Your friends also called the author of the "Boyfriends" webtoon a fetishizer based on what OTHER people said about him, and even though they knew that he was frequently misgendered and called a "confused girl". They never read boyfriends or even attempted to understand why the author decided to characterize stereotypes, he did something "disgusting" in the past and associates with "disgusting" people and that's all that mattered. Simply saying "I don't like boyfriends" was not an option?

Also let's be real, accusing someone of being a "pedophile" with no evidence other than the fiction they like is also a loaded accusation. Pedophilia is exclusively the attraction to a prepubescent child and has 0 to do with fiction (excluding AI and art based on real children). People are going to defend themselves if you're going to call them that

I also highly doubt you encourage your friends to educate themselves considering that this education goes against everything they/you believe in. Besides, your friends refuse to even call the abuse of children with the correct term, have been told by antishippers why you should not use "degenerate" as a word and ignored it

Also the radical obsession was again targeted to your friends. You don't make constant posts about hating proshippers and you're not assuming they're going to violate someone. I am not accusing you of being radical, I said the arguments you all use are mostly spread by radical feminists, who also follow/defend some of your friends

There is an overlap. there is a mountain of evidence of radfems influencing you people, none of you are arguing in good faith. I don't want to have this discourse either, but the constant and hateful obsession with total strangers has to stop

It has only gotten worse over the years. You're not even using a platform where a lot of nsfw is allowed (cause of the tumblr purge in 2018) and most of the things you fight against are illegal. No one is defending the real deal, people use fiction to redirect their thoughts and feelings instead of causing a crime

Again, it has very little to do with "problematic" things. It has more to do if the person who likes transgressive fiction is LGBTQ+ and or if they defend letting people be

and yes, in most cases it is "just fiction". If you are afraid that the media you consume turns you into an immoral person, that says more about you than the media. This is what neither of you understands, you are quick to blame people for your own inability to separate fiction from reality

i'm not even spicebeast or whoever the fuck LOL i'm literally one of rainbow-starheart's followers. you people are so insecure that it's not even laughable. all i did was follow you guys from a blank sideblog and now rainbow-starheart is rallying an entire fucking paragraph of her goons on me because she feels vaguely threatened and wants to use this as a chance to puff up her ego, exactly like i thought she would. rainbow-starheart is a hollow narcissist who has nothing underneath her delicate facade of being a protector and a ringleader. and honestly? it's fucking sad! i genuinely feel sorry for her. how much does your actual life have to suck for you to waste hours of your youth typing up petty callouts, arguing with strangers, and flooding your friends' dashboards with all the turmoil you willingly get involved in (and often cause)? you could be drawing, playing games, hanging out with your friends, learning a new hobby, whatever. but no, it's more important that you log in and earn your special internet points. does anything matter to you besides hollow approval, @rainbow-blocklists?

anyway, i hope you guys enjoy knowing that i'm one of your mutuals and that i'll be laughing about this behind your backs. you'll probably never know it's me lol. you can be baited into believing and trusting ANYONE as long as they seem to be following your song and dance

[nightlocked-in]

“peeta is bisexual” you guys are losing the vision. peeta isn’t even straight. katniss INVENTED sexuality for him. whatever katniss identifies as, he’s like “yeah, i’ll take that one” no questions asked

[xxplastic-cubexx]

In your professional educated psychology opinion. why is cherik Like That

i cannot give a Professional educated psychological opinion until at least may but as far as i can tell queer people cant be normal bout anything so thats why theyre like that

[itsalwaysdark]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[icharchivist]

was refreshing myself on some old myth for a bit and i read the french and english wiki page for the Charybdis' mythos, and i'm noticing something that i don't know if it's just the wiki being inaccurate or an actual difference (from the linguistic page it seems to be an actual difference) but

In English there's this expression about choosing between two equally bad horrible situations by saying "choosing between Scylla and Charybdis"

But in French the expression is "to fall from Charybdis to Scylla" and instead of a choice it's about managing to get out of a horrible situation only to get thrown into an even worse situation (the equivalent of the English's expression ""falling out of the frying pan into the fire")

if i believe the linguistic page there was a bit of borrowing around and technically both expressions are used in both language, but you're more likely to find the first one in English and the second one in French (very likely because Victor Hugo popularized "to fall from Charybdis to Scylla" with Les Misérables) (does not mean it started in French the origin of the expression is still Greek anyway, just talking about why the saying is more popular in French with weirdos like me)

idk i think it's cool on a sort of metatextual perspective that English People saw this myth and when "oof imagine picking between those two" while French people just chugged a bottle of wine and went "And it's a BINGO and LIFE SUCKS and it NEVER GETS EASIER you get BOTH OF THEM BABEYYY"

[todayisafridaynight]

poppo oc that i made as a joke accidentally breaching containment. maybe.

[nobodybetterlookatme]

How's it going with your coworker??!!

I'm still so fucking soft and that's really all I've got for today lmao