#this is why i should be fucken slaughtered like the pig i am
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its unhealthy coping mechanism on top of healthy coping mechanism 2nite so i can pretend im a well put together person while im not actually
#drama king#im gonna start pushing everyone away again i just know it#its only inevitable im not stable enough for friends or anyone really#i dont think anyone should really be my friend i dont really deserve that#its convincing myself everyone hates me after only just overcoming my imposter syndrome and fanfics tonight#this is why all my friendships fucking fail#bc i only sabotage myself in the end and everyone gets tired of me#i just want this cycle to fucken end#my god im a fucking idiot why would anyone ever wanna get anywhere near me#this is why i should be fucken slaughtered like the pig i am#but no if i die it has to be on my terms#i will die when im good and goddamn ready
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