#this is why i need to bounce my ideas off other ppl

[milksteaki]

I love your Brickubbles hc! How different did Brick treat Bubbles before their relationship? And did he ever get jealous when he noticed a lot of people would fall in love with Bubbles also?

DHLAHFLKSHG THANK YOU! Very interesting questions. I'm gonna talk more about how Brick treated Bubbles before he caught feelings. You know that meme where someone is like "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you." That would be Brick to everyone and then he tells Bubbles that she's the cool one. But in the respect that she is the least bad of the Powerpuff girls (in his eyes) and not that he actually likes her. Brick tries to stick with his hatred of the Powerpuff Girls the longest, so he still tries to diss and taunt the girls every chance he gets. It's just that Bubbles always just pretends she doesn't get them. "Well if it isn't little Bubbles. >:)" "I think we're both pretty small" "..." and his brothers are laughing at him in the background. But outside of fighting scenarios, Bubbles's eccentric personality piques his interest quite often. Like she'll say something a little quirky and Brick just plays along to see how it plays out. Honestly, you'll need to wait 5 business days if you want a clearer picture of how that works. There are a lot of things that Bubbles just has that are also conversation starters, like pins on her bookbag and quirky earrings. Brick takes the fucking bait, asks about it, and Bubbles takes advantage of that to plant these seeds of friendship. And all of a sudden, Brick the leader of the Rowdyruffs is friends with Bubbles. And Bubbles is totally the type of person who is like, "omg like can you believe we're friends now? That's so crazy, like I didn't expect that at all. Omg what were your first impressions of me." and Brick is like "I mean,,, my first impression of you wasn't exactly a secret." And the jealousy thing, one hundred percent yes. And they all piss him off so much because he finds them annoying for "no apparent reason". But also he probably sees a lot of these suitors as pesky lil' flies that are nothing compared to him. But when these bitches start one-upping him when it comes to romantic gestures, cue Brick humble era. Anyways, i die

[qprpbj]

do you have any tips on how to start writing fics?

the outsiders brainrot actually has me coming up with ideas and i have a desire to start writing them into actual stories but i've never written outside of class papers/assignments and i don't really know where/how to start since it's all just my own prompts and ideas and there's no grading rubric lmaoooo

like do you plan out each fic with a list first or do you just start writing about the main plot point of the chapter and fill in out of order or do you just start writing and see where it takes you... do you do any research while you're planning or pull from other authors/fics/posts or write from experience...

how do you decide when to stop writing or decide on which endings/paths/plot points to go with... the deadly combo of indecisiveness and perfectionism along with having no guidelines or due dates is crippling me so im asking some of my fav authors (who have also been inspiring me to write and be creative)

wait hi this is so sweet thank you!!! 🥹🥹 i will preface All This (sorry i yapped so much lol) by. i’ve been writing fic for like ten years and i think a lot of my old fic, while deeply cringe and awful, was all very important to getting me where i am today where i feel i can accurately get across what im trying to say!!!

first. hone your ideas!!! try to find a good niche you feel comfortable in (but also. don’t limit your creativity!!!). idk for me it’s easier to start specific and small rather than super general bc then i have Tooooo much freedom u know. i think my niche sorta across fandoms is generally softer dialogue, exploring close siblings or familial or friendship bonds an dynamics through situation, a lot of fluff, maybe a lil hurt comfort

i basically exclusively write in order! unless i get a really cool line/paragraph in my head that i write out and save for later to fit in somewhere. i usually have a like one-line idea that just Comes to me (ex. this was my entire line idea that turned into that pony getting jumped fic!)

then i’ll expand it a little more into a shitty little paragraph (ex. here’s a few!!!)

and then tbh after that i just kinda write everything in order from top to bottom from there. i wish i were more organized tbh and writing long fic/chaptered stuff is still sooo hard for me (which is why i don’t do it much yet lol) but im really trying to break out of it!! slowly we are learning!!! retaining the inspo and drive necessary to write that much is harddddd lmfao

before writing i always do have a solid idea where i want it to start and go and end though. like that ponyboy jumping fic i Knew i wanted to have pony get jumped in the opening scene, then go home, try to break down cutting his own hair, brothers come in and talk him down and it ends with talking abt johnny, even if i didn’t like. List that all out in words in a document.

definitely do research!!! espppp for outsiders bc it was like 60 years ago!!! well researched fics are soooo obviously tonally different and it’s always super obvious imo when that sort of care is put into ur writing. that fic i wrote about darry getting a panic attack was important researching bc panic attacks weren’t well known or researched or even Called panic attacks back then, so it’d be hella jarring seeing like 1967 13y/o pony whip out “you’re having a panic attack darry 🤓👆” yk lmfaoo

i SOO get the perfectionism and having no due dates thing btw. i have literally like 5 fics i’ve started and not finished in my docs rn with like 15 more ideas i wanna write someday. tbh! try to enter that Hyperfixation Zone and be really excited about what you’re making!!! helps it go by easier bc i swear sometimes i’ll write fic and it feels like pulling teeth even though it’s supposed to be fun!!!

last thing. try and find friends to bounce ideas off of and go crazy with you <3 or ppl to beta read!!! makes writing SO much easier and sm more fun having a your own lil personal cheerleader!!! if you ever need a beta id be soooo happy to read whatever you’ve got and hype u up!!! <3 i hope this helped at least a little bit LOL my writing process is kinda chaotic ngl

[leefi]

The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere Read-through | Part 1: Chapters 1-14

Part 1: 1-14 | Part 2: 14-22 | Part 3: 22-34 | Part 4: 34-64 | Part 5: 64-80 | Part 6: 81-90 | Part 7: 90-100 | Part 8: 100-127 (caught up here)

Hi!!!! I've been reading through this webnovel after seeing @ot3's pitch for it and started writing down some thoughts on the characters and worldbuilding and imminent murdering. This story is very, very long and I only reacted up to about chapter 33, so most of my thoughts will involve the worldbuilding and less the murder mystery aspect -- so if you're looking for theorizing you won't find much of that here. Since I'll be continuing eventually, I wanted to post what I did make note of to revisit later!

Most of these are not marked by chapter/section because I was lazy and I'm not sure how easy it will be to follow as a result, but everything is chronological.

everyone here is hijabi mashallah

The visual I'm getting of the solar system/local system/dimension they inhabit is kind of a blend of steampunk and fantasy and uhh some secret third thing. With the walls of their "universe" painted in that puella dollhouse witch lair style. Does the sun bounce around like a screensaver. Does it orbit their earth or is it on a fixed axis flung out into “space”? Does “space” even exist anymore? I’m assuming they’re in an enclosed area that they've created. Do they actively use arcane resources to keep objects (ie star and planets) sustaining themselves, or have they made them self sufficient?

everyone is so mean to Ptolema leave her alone what the fuckk let a bimbo live i want to kill you all you’re so annoying. Ptolema I WOULD be your friend and not ask all these weird ass questions. and we would hold hands and skip and giggle

Yes shes an airhead nepo baby but you guys could try doing anything other than snickering and rolling your eyes whenever she says stupid shit. If she starts arguing back about government war crimes during the Revolution or something then you have my blessing to beat her ass!

I HATE kamsurepa i HATE her i HAYE Her and her stupid ass name

Ran and Su have no chemistry its insane that theyre always hanging out every conversation is like uhhh (awkward silence) (rude comment from Ran) *Su voice* wow she gets me so well. every time they talk im like what the fuck just happened.

Su’s internal narration is too self aware for me. it’s like she talks like she knows she’s a character? or something. it's self-deprecating in a very bizarre way

im sorry i don’t know if i can continue with this. i know too many med students irl and these characters are literally pissing me off. compliments to the author for realism you knocked it out of the park

Oh, thank you very much!" Kam said, reverting back to her smiley-diplomatic form for a moment before stepping away from the counter and continuing as she handed us the cards. "...as far as it seems to me, the desire to reproduce is essentially an immature form of pursuing life-extension - this idea that you'll 'live on through your children' that's patently pseudo-mysticism justifying what is ultimately an animal instinct." ⬇️ I’m going to grab her ginger head and swing her around like bowser in mario 64. SHUT UPPPPP SHUT UP please tell me shes the one that dies

You know," I mused idly, my eyes wandering. "I think this is actually the fourth glass ceiling I've seen today." "Mm, it's true that you don't see a lot of women working in Aetheromancy," ⬇️ I know this is a small nitpick but aren’t we really far into the future why do they keep using terms like this 😭 gendered stuff like this still exists billions? trillions? of years into the future?

Why has the disco elysium skill tree randomly started talking to su. Is this her future self nagging her. Is she pulling a han sooyoung. when do we get to the various utsushikome ego deaths

"prosognostic overlap"…do ppl repeat faces? Are most people cloned at this point? What triggered the need for cloning surely medicine is advanced enough that childbirth or test tube babies are feasible? Can bodies be cloned and reinhabited to inhibit aging? Is there some disturbing psychological element to seeing someone with the same face as you? Does it make your brain short circuit? Kam mentioned having children earlier which I assume means people still give birth or have test tube babies, so i don’t know if it’s the result of cloning…but it does sound like a sameface sort of thing. What else would it be if not that though?

Actually, if they’ve figured out teleportation (whatever it was called when they went up the aetherbridge) - let's say they can atomize a body and reforming it elsewhere (though we don't know for sure yet, could also be a fold in spacetime) - transferring consciousness to an empty clone of yourself (and therefore effectively doing away with aging or death wholesale) sounds a lot more efficient and technologically practical than maintaining an organic system that naturally decays. Why keep on finding ways to push the human body past its limits when you could simply transfer a person to a new, identical vessel?

I feel like the key to immortality isn’t maintaining an organic body, which naturally tends towards systems of entropy (being a biological thing, entropy=decay), but rather delineating and separating human consciousness from its host and replicating its original environment perfectly. I’m not talking about making a copy of consciousness, which is just glorified cloning - I’m talking about *transferring* a consciousness.

You could almost call dementia itself the mind's tendency towards its own kind of entropy?

Though if you transfer a consciousness to a younger body, the dementia issue could still potentially remain. Depends on if it the author sees it as a solely physical phenomena (atrophy/buildup of inhibitors of the brain) or there's some metaphysical anomaly about amassing too many memories/"existing" too long in general

The way spellwork is described is really cool and feels super believable. Optimizing multiple concurrent spells into one “function” is intricate and sophisticated, and you have to dedicate a lot of brainpower to doing the math in your head. It’s like they’re coding the real world. I love the way lurina describes this it's awesome.

[spnfanficpond]

New Member Spotlight - February 2024

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family, along with a little info about them!

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

enteselene (twitter) - This new member is cool and mysterious, but probably does not have a son named Fergus. Probably.

@disenchantedhalo -

Other SM names? - ghoulsnhalos (Discord), morgawse_hp (Twitter), GhoulsnHalos (AO3)

OTP? - Destiel

Other fandoms? - Bandom

Looking for in the Pond? - Have a space to share ideas on fics, writing, editing. Help me make better use of social media to promote fics etc.

Pairings you read? - novel-length Destiel

Genres you read? - Pretty much anything except sports AUs and crack. Tropes: Enemies to Lovers; Two-person love triangle

Favorite writer(s)? - JuniperJones (AO3)

What do you like to write? - Mostly explicit alternate universe with a happy ending. Range of lengths. These days I pretty much stick to writing for Bangs.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Take Me Down

.@charliethealpaccaso -

Other SM names? - Same name on Discord

OTP? - Not sure as I tend to hop around.

Other fandoms? - Furry Transformation

Looking for in the Pond? - Looking for new transformation fics and meet some new friends

Something to signal boost? - Mellowfello on furaffinity.net

Pairings you read? - Now I think about it I hop around to more ship tags

Genres you read? - Fluff, Crack, and a small bit of Angst

@ryladante -

Other SM names? - Same name on Discord, Twitter, and AO3

OTP? - Destiel

Looking for in the Pond? - Help to get my writing back on track, some ideas to get me writing again.

Pairings you read? - Destiel ftw, lol.

Genres you read? - Angst, Smut. Even if it has a sad ending, I'll read it. I like pain in my stories. Tropes? Enemies to lovers, roommates who fall in love

What do you like to write? - Angsty, dark and suspenseful. I like pain and drama in my stories.

Masterlist!

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I've never written Omega/Alpha stories. The idea intrigues me, but I wouldn't know where to start.

@dustlines - This new member is cool and mysterious and definitely was not seen breaking a seal to bring on the Apocalypse.

@deeranger -

Other SM names? - Deerangerfanart (Twitter), deerange (LJ), deeranger (Pillowfort)

OTP? - Sam/Dean and Wincest all the way

Looking for in the Pond? - Find new and interesting ppl and creations that tickle my fancy (I like dark and dead dove primarily) and I also hope to maybe find resources for my writing, maybe ppl to talk to and bounce ideas off of.

Something to signal boost? - My (often NSFW) fanart is scattered all over, primarily it's on my Twitter though at @DeerangerFanart. Also, I have my carrd where you can find all my social media accounts.

Pairings you read? - Wincest or anything bottom!Sam, really. I have a weakness for noncon Samifer. 3rd person pov is my preferred pov and I mostly read m/m but f/m is okay too. And hey, so are tentacles! 😂

Genres you read? - Noncon, angst, dead dove, smut, pwp, dark and smutty stuff in general. I like "problematic" stuff.

Favorite writer(s)? - BlindSwandive, AnOddSock, hunter_king, CleverUsernameHere, TammyRenH

What do you like to write? - Dark and angsty ones, mostly noncon bottom!Sam... Usually my fics are pretty dead dove.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - "Nothing Hurts Like the Truth", a Jess/Sam dubcon fic

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I've never written a long fic. I'm currently trying though (at 74k as we speak) and I'd love some support and such on it and maybe advice if needed. I've never had the guts to try and write such a long fic. But now is the time! Also, I'd just like to get better at plotting out fics and such and get better at writing in general. That's my goal. Inspiration and practice!

@zepskies -

Other SM names? - Zepskies (Discord), Zeppelin_skies (AO3)

OTP? - Dean Winchester x Lisa Braeden

Other fandoms? - Actively writing for: The Boys, Big Sky, 10 Inch Hero, Smallville, Dark Angel

Looking for in the Pond? - A community of fellow writers/fandom enthusiasts. I like talking and sharing about the writing craft, mutual encouragement of ideas, just basically continuing what I've been doing on Tumblr.

Pairings you read? - Reader inserts, OC pairings

Genres you read? - Romance, smut, fluff, hurt/comfort, comedy, drama. Favorite tropes: Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Meet Cute

Favorite writer(s)? - Ooh this is tough. I have many, but on Tumblr there's @waynes-multiverse, @deanwritings, @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior, @deanwinchesterswitch -- and many others that I follow and love their work.

What do you like to write? - Genre wise? Romance, fluff, smut, angst and hurt/comfort, soulmate AU and other AUs. I've also dabbled in A/B/O.

Masterlist! (AO3 Works list)

Most underappreciated fic? - Damned If I Do and Chico Malo

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - Well, while I'm primarily a Dean girl, I've toyed with the idea of a Sam Winchester soulmate AU, or a Sam Winchester series (which I sort of have outlined). Maybe for the soulmate AU, some brainstorming prompts would be fun and helpful! <3

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @spencereliotwinchester and @heavenssexiestangel!

[owlf45]

hi, i really hope you don't mind me asking this, but i love candor and i absolutely love seeing author behind-the-scenes stuff, so i was wondering if we could maybe hear more about how the original premise of candor changed to what it is today? it seems like it was originally very different. it'd also be so cool seeing how you outlined candor (if you did?), because seeing how other ppl do it is so so interesting, esp when you're a writer yourself

if you don't want to though, it's no trouble. i hope you have a wonderful day!

i finished typing the og idea up and it goddamn forever so the tl;dr is, it was the same simulation idea but with more contrived rules, ending with izuku outsmarting a bastard vestige afo. the long version is underneath the read more section. it should be a heading, its also underneath all the outline bullshit.. which, speaking of:

okay. so. how did i outline candor.

truthfully, i had a rough outline that i just. had in the original document and that i deleted + added to as i continued writing. which is partially why it spiralled out of control, because i just kept adding more stuff. my outline was very vibe based. at the top of my outline i had a rough direction of how i wanted to go through the holders, like so:

Sixth → Second → Sixth → Fifth → Seventh → Fourth → First → loop between death a few times → Third → Nine

and then i had important scene outlined underneath that describe how it jumped from one holder to another (for example, fourth and first had interconnected themes of isolation, so i could easily jump from fourth's loneliness to first's vault scenes). the beginning, the thread of which ofa users i was moving through, and the ending was the most outlined and concrete things i had planned. everything else was just. vibes. me vibing. me going insane. what motifs i wanted to express and what lessons i wanted the holders to teach izuku, basically.

obviously i changed a lot because my outline was very superfluous. much of what i outlined in the beginning changed, although the ending remained a constant goal in my mind, so i wasn't all that concerned.

here's a (snippet) of an active outline i still had 110 pages into the project:

OUTLINE BULLSHIT

Sixth → Second → Sixth → Fifth → Seventh → Fourth → First → loop between death a few times → Third → Nine 

“Boss said it himself”-- “his quirk doesn’t react well to people who pry where they don’t belong” 

Izuku experiences all the holders’ deaths

SECONDS DEATH PLS PLS PLS 

Cycling through all the quirks 

Smile motif 

Idealism 

Bullet bounces, bounces, bounces

Sixth meets up with them, asks if he’s okay

They see the event where workplace discrimination is outlawed based on mutant quirks

Someone hugs Izuku and is so happy that they cry 

Screaming and hollering for pure happiness 

Cheering and singing 

Katsuki as a kid (very cute, very small) 

Monoma asking if the projection is necessary

All the suits in the wash

Underground heroes were their own thing, had their own hero gestures not even the Commission could crack. Not always legal, blurred the lines, played the bigger picture so they could get shit done 

Commission hated them bc they knew everything. If they tried to not pass a bill protecting heroes, the undergrounders knew immediately. Had a underground hero family-sys, anyone too competitive/recluse/sellout would be excluded from information networks and could fail/die (created a culture of very loyal, buddy system, etc of heroes) 

Ofa not helping as much bc theres a villain fight 

Your quirk will blow off your own limbs if you tried to use it right now 

When’s the first time you used it??

The entrance exam 

“I  predict in a few holders… it’ll kill them within just 3 or 4 years. Having the quirk, I mean”

Youve had your quirk for two weeks and all of your classmates have had them for 10 years

You need to catch up

Everyone is stronger than you right now

You have maybe two years before All For One comes for you 

He doesn’t know you have OFA now but he will soon 

He’s like a child using his quirk for the first time

Broke all the bones in your body… you wont ever have function of your hands the same way

“Performance is abysmal..”

Monoma: “Lucky, you have a strength quirk! I’m sure you’ve always been loved and supported! Could you imagine having a quirk society actually hates…?” 

Shinsou: “You don’t know what it’s like to be hated for something you don’t have any control over” 

Sixth saying “Hopefully in a next life I’ll get another strength quirk instead” 

“We need stronger quirks. Quirks that can overpower All For One” 

Scene where Izuku stumbles into a park, it’s calm, and a younger Katsuki is staring at him 

“A hero?” Katsuki is barely 5 when he looks at Izuku. “Don’t make me laugh. You’re just a quirkless Deku.” 

Garaki: “It’s because of the double joint, you see. It’s a common marker for those who are quirkless.” 

Mom: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Quirkless statistics say that less likely to be hired, more likely to commit suicide, etc.” 

“I don’t think it’s discriminatory, I think it just makes sense. I mean, if you have a choice between identical candidates and one’s quirkless and one whos made of slime that smells like shit, I’m going to choose the guy who makes the office a little more interesting! It’s not that deep!” 

“We’ve become a eugenecist society where we want to hide or villainize quirks that aren’t ‘good’, and we want the quirkless to disappear entirely” 

Slime Villain slowly chokes him out, makes him lose his consciousness slowly 

Mom’s “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” 

His advisor’s glazed eyes skim across the page. When he reaches the bottom, the man looks up at Izuku. “You understand why this isn’t rational, Midoriya,” the man says. “Heroism is a very dangerous field. It’s impossible if you’re quirkless.” “I—” Izuku stutters out. His advisor pushes his glasses higher up his face and crumples the piece of paper in his hand. Izuku watches as his words and dreams get smashed and curled. The advisor throws it into the trash by his desk. Izuku stares at the pink crumpled ball. The man reaches across his desk to pull out a fresh slip of paper and a simple black pen. He slides both in front of where Izuku sits. “We still have a few minutes,” the man says tiredly. “Write something more realistic down. Like, I don’t know… a librarian? You like reading, don’t you?” 

“Be realistic” 

“A hero? You can’t just be a hero because you like them. Just because you know every fact about them, isn’t going to make you suddenly strong enough” 

“Strong? Deku? Don’t make me laugh”

Izuku applying to UA scene, classroom laughing/Katsuki bullying scene 

“Hey, I’ve got a good idea… why don’t you just take a swan dive off a roof” 

“Can you become a hero…? No, I don’t think so” - All Might 

Youll just get murdered by the time you master your quirk

Everyone’s ahead

“This is your starting line!”

Jeez, he’s like a toddler with his quirk

You have to catch up

“Poor little useless Deku, crying again like a baby”

Youll die in two years

You’re not ready

Screaming

He has all that power and none of the skill. He doesn’t even have his own quirk. He’s wasting every opportunity he has 

He’s the Ninth one and he’s the least prepared out of all of us

He’s the last one and when he screws up, this entire legacy is gone! All our efforts go to waste! 

“You’re lucky. You’ve never had to understand what it’s like to have a quirk that turns everyone against you” 

You’ll never be enough

The heat on his shoulders grows to be unbearable 

The voices stop as Izuku stands behind his desk, which has his hero name carved into the wood 

Trying to remember who Deku is to him

“You’re Nine,” the man says. “You’re safe. You’re grounded. These are not your memories. We can leave at any time.” 

Izuku just stares frozen at it for several minutes

When he sits beneath the desk, he has to stop himself from crying 

He reminds himself what his other classmates have been through like Iida losing his brother to remember that its just words 

He finally croaks out: 

“I’m trying. I’m trying. Isn��t that enough?” 

Rubs his face, stands up, hollowly goes back through memories 

Goes thru all the memories back and forth, sticks thru All Might telling him he can be a hero to gain some courage

Gets back to the scene where All Might said he couldnt when it finally clicks 

“Oh, duh” 

“Oh, duh” 

“Oh,” Izuku says. “Duh.” Take a swan dive off a roof. 

The reason why he started as Sixth’s memory. If he got it from the start he could’ve avoided it all 

When he realizes it, the other holders all arrive and try to stall. Izuku reveals that he knows what he has to do, but he says that they’re not going to like it 

Gives them all whiteboards 

Wakes up in a safehouse with a kettle and sticky note explaining what’s going on 

As you can see, there's a lot going on here. A lot changed, a lot was scrapped. You have some developed scenes and some one-off. The important part was getting a string that connected these in a way that felt natural, eventually culminating into Izuku's breaking point.

this is a very, very small chunk of what the outline was altogether at all stages of the project. but its a good representation of what i put together for each user. this is a very izuku-heavy section. the odds and ends were parts i wanted to go back and add at a later time when i thought of them. manyyyy of the scenes i wrote for earlier chapters were written when i was much further into the fic. i just kept thinking of new things to add.

OG CANDOR IDEA

okay. so basically the og idea was the same: mental simulation, involved the school, blah blah, except Izuku actually remembered he was in a simulation. In the og idea, it was All For One that took control of the simulation and dragged Izuku into the mental vault, basically trapping him away from where the other holders could reach him. The simulation worked the same as in the final version, so that Izuku had to 'complete' a certain objective. AFO took advantage of this by defining the objectives himself, and Izuku accepted those objectives as truth, forcing the simulation to basically.. warp around that contract?

The objectives were this: there were nine cups izuku could drink from, the eighth one was full of medicine, and drinking from the ninth cup would let him escape the simulation at any time. while he drank from each of the other eight cups, the ninth cup would fill proportionally (it was a much taller glass than the other ones), and if it overflowed, the whole simulation would restart. finally, one vestige had to die.

Izuku couldn't see the 'shadowed figure' who was explaining the simulation's rules to him, so izuku didn't know it was All For One. (The fic started with him waking up, sitting a table with nine cups and a shadowed figure across from him.) The first seven cups held the memories of the seven dead OFA holders. as izuku drank from the cups, he would see their memories. however, the 'liquid' in each of the cups was basically a mental poison. so izuku was poisoning himself more and more in different ways, but he couldn't stop drinking from the cups unless he wanted one of the vestiges to die.

in between drinks, izuku basically unraveled the mystery of his 'guest' (which he eventually figured out was afo), and the people he was saving (the ofa vestiges), and where he was located (the mental vault in ofa). it would constantly reference izuku's (the ninth) cup, which was filling up higher and higher, and it also eventually referenced how the ofa holders in the simulation were trying to break open the vault door.

eventually, izuku clears the first seven cups, and he's about to try and stave off the 'poison' that's killing him w/ toshinori's (medicine/eighth) cup. However, at this point AFO relishes in pointing out the 'final decision' he's forced to make:

if izuku drinks from the eighth cup to cure the poison, he'll cause the ninth cup to overflow at this point, restarting the whole simulation.

if izuku drinks the ninth cup, the condition 'a vestige must die' wouldn't be fulfilled, so the simulation would reset.

if izuku did nothing, the poison would kill him

So basically, izuku was going to be stuck in a constant loop of resetting until he gave up and let himself die

but! alas! izuku outsmarts afo because it never said how or which vestige had to die. so izuku goes off the fucking rails bc at this point, the ninth cup has all seven different poisons from the first seven cups, so he throws it on afo and bam! fight scene! and then he kills afo's vestige within ofa, escapes the vault just as the other ofa holders burst into the vault, and then he wakes up in a cold sweat in the gym at UA to all of his classmates being like "what the fuk!"

anyway. aha. there you go. if you were wondering why it took so damn long to answer this... this is why. hope this sated ur curiosity!

[moefling]

ok i’m gonna talk about the RWRB Movie...

SPOILER: i’m gonna be negative and i’m not planning on watching the movie (i guess that means ppl are gonna block me??? idk why ppl are just mass blocking because of this but whatever) (edit: per a suggestion I swapped the tag on this post so it isn't tagged under "rwrb movie")

so i’m gonna start by saying that i’ve watched the trailer a few times and honestly i love the vibes, it makes me smile ever time.

-the kiss is great

-the butt slap is everything

-Henry’s facial expressions *chefs kiss*

-the visible chain around Alex neck. yes

i’m also gonna say that its great that people ARE going to see the movie, we need more queer movies and the only way for that to happen is if ppl watch the ones that are being made now.

so the bad.

honestly i could deal with a lot of the little things.  like they make my eye twitch a little but i do actually understand that you can’t 100% remake a book into a movie.

 BUT

it’s June that i can’t forgive.

if i’m wrong and she is in the movie than amazing and i redact everything but it doesn’t seem to be that way.

removing June makes me SO angry.  its like removing Alice from Twilight or Sam from Lord of the Rings.  if Main Characters are just the romantic leads (Alex and Henry) than June defiantly falls into secondary tier - all the Super Six kinda do (Bea would be the most removable for me but is is also necessary for Henry’s development as much as June is for Alex.

June balances Alex out.  the book even specifically states WHY all of the White House Trio are needed (page 28: “Alex pushes them. June steadies them. Nora keeps them honest.”) She keeps him sane and she put her life on hold to watch out for Alex, and Alex knows this!

the idea of Alex being an only child is terrifying.  he is already kinda selfish (i say that lovingly) and “a little shit” without growing up with an older sibling to shut him up he would be a monster (and Nora doesn’t count because first they don’t actually meet until Ellen is running with Mike as VP and second Nora’s personality is to “go with the flow” to really steady Alex)

June also has some important moments that happen in the book! like it doesn’t really work to have Nora be fake dating Henry for the like 2 days that that happens and no June means no Magazine moment (i know that isn’t really directly in the book but its a fav for everyone).  no June also really changes the tone of the Lake House....

ANWAY, moving away from June here is some other things that i don’t like (because its my rant and i want to, feel free to change my mind)

- the height difference (i did love the lifts comment in the trailer but idk if they’ll be able to keep that up in a way that makes since - that means that if they are every barefoot Alex would have to be shorter *cough* like swimming)

-the actor for Alex is to old.  i know ppl are really split about this but the actor feels put together and like an adult to me (vs. book Alex feels very young - or he honestly acts his age of 21/22).  i think the polo match scene says a lot for me in the postures of the 2 actors, Henry is ok (tho honestly i think he wouldn’t have the loose posture once he rejoined ppl but its cute so pass) but Alex is to stiff, he should be almost bouncing as he walks.

-WFT is Ellen’s accent in the trailer???

-i heard a rumor that Raf and Liam are merged and redone.  Gross and big no.

-King instead of Queen.  i understand why this was done but the tone changes a lot in my head of abusive Grandpa vs. Grandma

-Zahra.  don’t like, the vibe is off with the actress... can’t explain why except the smile in the photos and the bow in the trailer

 -i feel like some of the scenes feel still (this is 100% my opinion and i could be reading this VERY wrong so ignore this if you interpret it differently)

i really wanted to like the movie but realistically i probably wouldn’t watch the movie anyway because i have issues with that so..... i guess it doesn’t matter.

i hope ppl who watch it enjoy it and please separate tags of movie vs book, thanks

[medievalcellphone]

ok wait i can't remember if i sent my chart in.

for the judges consideration: gem sun+venus, aries moon, taurus merc, virgo mars + aqua rising ☆

i am saying this with love but bro, quirky, quirky chart you have here. um. first off you have a lot to say and say it well. Aquarius rising i've touched on in previous asks i think, but it gives a nuanced abstracted view of life and genuine Real interest in most things. also an intriguing and mysterious vibe. you are surely quite funny, and have a fun time discussing anything. positing theories about the lids of pots.

you are prob very good at bouncing back. going with the flow, rallying, that may be good but also you don't like to focus on the bad so you can build up a lot of intense underlying emotions you aren't even aware of. at times you are really just so full of ideas it can become overwhelming, intense confrontations can be overwhelming and derailing, you might like to argue/banter but when it becomes real or tense, you want to get out of there as soon as possible.

if something catches your interest it seems like the most important thing, you can fall in love with ppl or a new passion fast and deeply and overlook the issues or red flags. make sure to consider things in terms of ramifications for u and others. Gemini venus and sun imply a fear of commitment, of being forced into one way of life. you are very independent, you hate being controlled, being told what to do, you come to things at your own time and might not understand why others want you to explain yourself.

like i said, you are interested in anything. a huge gigantic range of interests and talents but have a hard time focusing or sitting still metaphorically on any of them. the need to compare and contrast and overthink can derail you, emotionally and in day to day life. you are no doubt very cerebral and well spoken, creative and driven. you love to inspire others. you often do. very rarely do you hold an actual grudge. you might have trouble with being too emphatic about things you don't care that much about. even if you do in the moment (Aries moon want what it wants).

mercury in taurus might help settle the flightiness/ever spooling thought flow of a gemini. like, geminis can be indecisive and hard to follow, taurus in mercury takes time to come to conclusions and really considers things before making a proclamation. this paired with virgo mars gives you real determination. like. really. don't doubt you can get things done. just focus. on the other hand geminis with a mercury in taurus can get so focused on how to say things they shut down all together. perfectionism might get in the way of your natural optimism.

this sort of vibe^ here is a song and a movie :p

[aquilathefighter]

It's a long list of writer asks so I asked a bunch: 4, 6, 15, 16, 29, 30, 50, 73, and 77

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

I jot all my ideas down in a markdown file called WIP Directory and let them all kinda marinate in my head. Then, it's really whichever one I have inspiration for at that moment. If I can at least get some of it out on paper I can look at the list and see what sparks my brain up.

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

He swears he can feel the sharp edge bouncing up and down against the pounding of his pulse.

(from some sexy swordplay im working on 👀)

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

Afternoon!

16.Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

Laptop all the way! I might jot some things down on my phone if it pops into my head while I'm out and about, but the vast majority of my writing is on my laptop. No clue how ppl do it any other way without going mad XD

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

I would say how much better my dialogue has gotten in the ~7 months I've been writing!

30. How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

I edit very lightly. Usually I try to wait until I finish the first draft to fully read it and mark where things don't make sense or need a sentence rewritten. Sometimes I only do a quick scan for spelling and grammar before sending it off into the ether

50. How would you describe your writing style?

introspective, economic, and sensory-focused.

73. What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?

Not sure if it's the most frequent, but the one that sticks in my mind is how I incorporate canon into my fics!!

77. Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

I really like the speculative nature of it! We ask so many versions of "what would happen if my favorite characters were in this situation?" and find so many different answers! I get to dive deeper into a character's head and understand why they do the things that they do, and what they would do given a different context (especially an AU!)! I also really enjoy the community around writing and sharing my ideas with other fans <3

Thank you so much for all the questions!!!! <3

fanfiction writer asks

[lakemichigans]

hey i'm back to clear things up, i was just so quick to get my thoughts out i didn't think to properly explain them

i wanted joel to seem more dramatic was what i meant. yell leave and then turn his head to the side bc he can't look at her go, or smtn like that. idk maybe i'm too hung op on this i'll rewatch the ep tmrw to see if i still feel the same

i liked the funnier in her head line too, but the fake bite was soo cute

ok fedra time this is gonna be a long one lol. i totally got what why ellie was saying those things, it's more so about the "rules" of the show. yk how every piece of media has it's own rules about the world and how the ppl in it are allowed to function. ex if someone other than the main cast shows altruistic intentions they're hiding something (spn), everyone lies for their own benefit to some degree (house md), the people can't rule themselves (got) etc. the rules of tlou (so far at least) are that there can't be an uprising without one firm hand who has clear and realistic end goals which happen to coincide with the morals of the writers. no one firm hand and no realistic goals means the fireflies are idealistic and ineffective. the morals don't coincide with the writers and no clear end goal means kc is brutal and senseless. it's not so much about these specific groups, but what they stand for. further examples for the fact that the people can't rule themselves. (ps jackson has council representatives which is called council communism and again proves the point that in the world of tlou there need to be people who make decisions for the majority)

i totally got the type of crush you were explaining for riley, i was just lacking the feeling like the actress was actually about to blush and then try to hide it and then lovingly look back etc. idk this one is really personal i think

sorry this was so long and i also hope this doesn't come off as me arguing i'm really happy just to be sharing my thought with you <3 excited for next week!

i think it's just up to personal interpretation! maybe i'm just not looking into it hard enough, but i felt that since this is a TV show, they can only focus on a few characters at a time. even if they wanted to show us a positive society without any sort of leader, it would be difficult to follow the story if we were bouncing around through a whole bunch of people, each with their own lives and ideas about the world they live in. it's a cool idea that i would happily watch, but it wouldn't fit with the (mostly) linear story they're trying to tell here. like, it was much easier for them to give maria this sorta-leader role because then she can be used for plot purposes and exposition about jackson. and there's always going to be some element of politics involved in apocalypse stories, but tbh covid has jaded me because i saw so much selfishness and greed arise from that, to the point where i'm burnt out and uninterested in the government systems and i'm much more concerned with the individual stories within. i probably should care more considering this show is so popular and definitely has an impact, but.... idk. maybe someday i'll rewatch and skip all the emotional scenes so i can focus on the rest of the show's message!

i think where we differ is that i like a more subtle type of acting. overacting is much more egregious to me than underacting. if joel had been sobbing or screaming his head off i would've been like.... 🤨 also it's worth pointing out that riley is a bit older than ellie and she's getting ready to do this very adult thing (essentially being deployed for war), so she's not in the same headspace as ellie is for most of the night. ellie is excited that her best friend just came back into her life, she's doing all these incredible fun things, and she's got butterflies in her tummy ;-; but riley knows what this night is really about. she's just trying to give ellie a good time, she's not focused on her own feelings yet. if everything had gone as planned, riley would've walked ellie back to the dorm, left boston, and then probably would break down and feel all her feelings when she's alone. i don't think she ever expected ellie to kiss her or for their relationship to go past friendship, so she didn't even bother getting hopeful about it. it's possible that i'm projecting a lot onto riley because this is exactly how i act when i'm interested in someone lol. sometimes i over-correct so hard that it seems like i don't like you at all, let alone feel romantic feelings towards you 😭

but either way i love talking about tlou in any capacity so please always feel free to share your thoughts!!!

[wooahaes]

svt - coming out as bisexual [hyung line]

pairing: non-idol!svt hyung line x fem!bisexual!reader

genre: some are angstier and hurt/comfort, others are fluffier.

warnings: reader coming out as bisexual. cheol being anxious, misunderstandings. reader having several moments of thinking this would end a relationship (present in several drabbles). some drabbles has reader having known for a while, others have reader having realized it recently. implications of reader having bad past experiences with coming out to people (ex-boyfriend in shua and jihoon's). food mentions (cake in joshua's, vague dinner mention in jihoon's). mentions of exes (both ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends).

daisy's notes: happy pride :) no taglist on these because idk how many ppl off of it would care haha also might do the maknae line once i have ideas lol i already feel kinda repetitive with these since there's only so many ways to say 'i love and accept you' yknow?

choi seungcheol

seungcheol remembered your text from earlier: i have something i need to say. can we meet up soon?

which, as much as he hated to admit it, sent his mind into overdrive. it was vague enough that it could be plenty of things. you were sick, your friend was sick, your family member was sick, you were moving, you'd killed someone, you actually hated him and this was all some stupid bet... anything. so seungcheol waited in the park ten (okay, fifteen) minutes early, leg bouncing restlessly as he waited for you. everything was okay, right? as long as you were safe, he could live with whatever thing came next.

but you greeted him nervously, a bit quieter than usual. the moment he went to take your hand, you'd jumped, and apologized with this flustered look on your face. yet you didn't take his hand, instead tucking them into your pockets as you set off along the park pathway. this sealed the deal: you were going to dump him.

he just wished you'd do it already. instead, you'd been casual enough in talking about whatever came to mind. you'd asked about him twice now (clearly feeling out whether he'd cry if you dumped him or if he'd hold himself together), asked about kkuma, asked about work... so seungcheol reached forward, catching you by the hand.

"if you're going to break up with me, it's okay. you can say it already."

immediately, you jerked around to face him. "oh my god. is that what you think this is?"

"yes?" he stared at you, and then shook his head. "no? you're acting strange, and i've been worried ever since i got your text this morning..."

you slowly exhaled a deep breath and then took his hands in your own. "i'm not breaking up with you," you said. "i..." you trailed off for just a moment, then swallowed hard. "seungcheol, i'm bisexual."

he said nothing at first, just staring at you as his mind just processed what he just heard. you're...?

"it's okay if this changes things," you said all too quickly, as if you were always prepared for him to say nothing or to react badly. "i get it. not everyone is okay with dating someone like me. it's not like there's someone else, but i kept thinking and—"

seungcheol took your face into his hands, just to stop you. "thank you for telling me," he said, voice soft. "i know this was a really big thing. but it doesn't change anything." he paused, and then let out an awkward laugh as his head dropped forward. "i was terrified something bad had happened!"

thankfully, it just earned an affectionate snort from you. "i'm sorry! i kept rereading my text and wondering if it was too serious. i'll do better next time i have something to tell you—"

"ah, don't coddle me—i'm ruining your moment now," he lifted his head so that he could look at you. "really, though... thank you for telling me. it would never change the way i look at you."

"i know." your voice was quieter now, so tiny as you gave him a shy smile. "that's why i wanted to tell you." you cupped his cheek with one hand, bringing him in for a soft kiss. "i want to be myself with you. and... i had to tell you, y'know?"

he could understand your reasoning. something bloomed in his chest. pride for you, first: coming out could be hard, and he was glad you felt safe enough with him to do so. and then a soft love, sweet as could be, that you wanted to be your most authentic self with him. the same way he wanted to be himself when he was with you.

yoon jeonghan

jeonghan's body was warm against your side, head resting on your shoulder as the two of you were enjoying your little movie night together. the smell of popcorn filled the air, the bowl haphazardly resting in his lap. the lip of it pressed into your thigh, and all you could focus on was the way your heart was racing a little. you rested your head against jeonghan's, shutting your eyes for a moment.

better now than never.

"i think she's really pretty," you said when the actress was alone on screen for a moment, your tone as casual as could be. an innocent enough comment, but one that would let you maybe gauge whether to keep going from here.

jeonghan hummed in agreement. "she is, yeah."

well, shit. that didn't tell you anything. but... with a deep breath, you pulled away from jeonghan to pause the movie. he sat up a little, watching you curiously for a moment as you turned to him. "jeonghan, i'm bisexual."

at first, he said nothing as he just watched you for a moment. "oh?"

already, your mind was going into panic mode. "shit, i--listen, i know how that sounds coming out of nowhere, but i--"

jeonghan's hands found your own quickly, and he squeezed them. "sorry!" he said it quickly, intertwining his fingers with your own so that he could press his palms flat against yours. "sorry. i... i should have reacted better." he just sat there, holding your hands for a moment. "i love you. but was that a test?"

"it... might have been."

he snorted a little. "you're so cute," he said. "but thank you for trusting me with this." he paused for a moment, "can i ask how long you've known, or...?"

ah. a scary question. "not long," you confessed. "i dunno, i just... one of my friends is bisexual, and she was talking about it a couple months ago, and a lot of the stuff she said kinda resonated with me? so i just... started questioning how and why and everything, and..." you pulled your hands free from his. "i just figured out that i wasn't as straight as i always thought i was."

his gaze softened. "oh. honey..." he reached forward to brush back a stray strand of hair from your face. "does she know?"

you shook your head. "you're the first person i've told, actually."

immediately, he drew his hand back as he stared at you. "... really?" and when you nodded, he leaned forward to kiss your cheek. "i'm honored you trust me so much, then," he giggled. "i love you. is it okay if i have questions?"

"like...?"

"just about how out you want to be," he said. "i won't tell anyone without asking, but... we'll talk about it later, okay? i want to support you however you need me to."

something melted inside of your chest at how soft he was treating you, voice so gentle. you'd fallen for the silly antics of jeonghan before you fell for how tender he could be. being around him was like being bathed in sunlight (sometimes after being doused in a water balloon thrown by him). you just snuggled in close as turning the movie back on, pressing a tiny kiss against the side of his neck.

joshua hong

joshua had been watching the way you moved about your kitchen with a new sense of nervousness to you. but he was used to it: baking was a hobby of yours he fully enjoyed reaping the rewards of, even if it meant seeing you a little nervous before he tested a new recipe for you. if it wasn't him, then it was your roommate, vernon, who would taste test. but he liked having the privilege of being your boyfriend and always asked first if he was free. you toted a cake toward the dinner table, knife clutched in your hand, and slowly set it down as carefully as you could.

"so what's this one?" he looked up at you, smiling a little. he loved seeing how flustered you'd get over this sort of thing.

"you'll see."

that was enough to throw him. since when did you not gush about whatever new recipe you'd found...? he watched the way you were hesitating.

"maybe this is stupid," you mumbled to yourself, clearly not intending for joshua to hear.

he reached up. "do you want me to cut it?" he stood up to stand next to you. "i can cut my own slice."

your hands were shaking. effortlessly, you let go of the knife when joshua pulled it from your grasp. without a word, you just sat down, watching intently as he gauged how big of a slice he'd get for himself.

and then he saw pink first, the cake crumbs giving it away. as he pulled out the slice, he was met with three colors: a pink top later, a purple middle layer, and a blue bottom layer, held together with purple icing between them. joshua wasn't an idiot: he'd seen pride flags before. he'd seen the bisexual one, too.

"... is there something you want to tell me?" he asked softly. "or is this for someone else?"

you shook your head. "it's for me." you had shut your eyes, lips now pressed firmly together. how afraid were you right now...? without a word, joshua pushed the cake away from the edge of the table, slice and knife and all. and then he kneeled down beside you, taking your hand into his.

"hey. i'm right here," he said. "i'm not going anywhere."

and then you were crying, all at once. joshua rose up to wrap his arms around you, letting you bury your face in his shoulder. was he the first person you'd ever told...? or had you really been that scared that he'd react badly? he just kissed the side of your head, holding your securely in his arms.

"i baked the stupid cake because if you reacted badly, i'd just go eat cake with vernon," you babbled through your sobs. "we still have to save him a slice of the stupid cake. but i kept freaking out because what if--" you hiccuped, "what if you left me?"

"i wouldn't," joshua hugged you a little tighter. "it doesn't change who you are, silly."

"doesn't it?"

his heart ached a little at that. had it changed you in someone else's eyes...? no matter. joshua still saw you as yourself, just with a little something new for him to file away in his brain for you.

"it doesn't," he reaffirmed. joshua drew back so that he could see your face again. "so... there's a really good cake sitting right here," he nodded toward it. "you wanna share it?"

it was a stupid change in topic, but the weak laugh it earned from you was enough to do the job. "yeah," you pecked his lips. "let's eat some cake. ice cream's in the freezer, shua."

wen junhui

jun liked to consider himself a good listener, especially when it came to you. he liked to sit back and just listen to you talk about anything and everything, whether it was your interests or the things that pissed you off or even about your work day. today, he'd been holding your hand, listening to you go on about some conversation with a friend.

"and i told her that i thought it was a dick move, you know? i mean, who fucking cares what he thinks? he's an ex-friend for a damn good reason."

jun, admittedly, had lost the story by this point. one of your friends had been in some fight, maybe? and said ex-friend had reached out to say something that pissed both you and your friend off. he wasn't sure what it was yet, but you seemed a little more fired up than usual.

"i don't know, like... who fucking cares? he's a sexist dick as it is. did he really need to add biphobia to the mix? like, who fucking cares that i'm dating a man? it doesn't mean i'm any less bisexual. it's like people don't actually give a shit when bisexual woman are bisexual if it doesn't visibly look--"

... wait a second.

"you're bisexual?" jun spoke before he'd thought, and he watched the clueless way you looked at him.

"... wait, i didn't tell you?"

jun just shook his head. that was the kind of thing he'd file away in his head as vital information in order to support you. how many times had you talked about this that he didn't realize...? fuck, how shitty of a boyfriend was he?

you just blinked at him for a moment. "jun, i was dating my ex-girlfriend when we met."

oh, shit, that was your ex-girlfriend...?

"oh." jun felt the heat rising to his cheeks. "i'm sorry, i didn't realize that--"

"no, don't," you waved a hand. "she really hated skinship so we were never touchy, which..." you raised your connected hands. you always reached out to take his hand every chance you got. "... is a huge reason why we didn't work out. i could have sworn..." then you trailed off. "oh."

"oh?" he parroted back at you.

"i really never told you." with a hum, you shrugged it off. "well, now you know. does it bother you?"

he shook his head immediately, "no! no, it's not--i just--"

"jun," you pulled your hand free, turning to face him. "don't get upset, okay? you didn't know because i didn't tell you. i don't need this to be a big deal, okay? i'm bisexual. it doesn't need to be some big thing, y'know?"

he nodded, taking in your words fully. if you didn't want for it to be a big deal, then he would let the issue rest. "okay. but... just so you know," he said, lowering his voice, "i love you."

you giggled, leaning in for a quick kiss. "i love you, too, silly."

kwon soonyoung

soonyoung liked seeing the life you lived before you met him. the two of you had curled up on the living room floor of your parents' house, his head resting on your shoulder as you told him old stories about your life. the amusement parks that you used to go to with your parents, old family dinners and get-togethers, the years you did theater in high school...

"oh!" you had flipped a page and spotted a picture of yourself surrounded by your friends. you had painted cheeks (pink, purple, blue in three close lines on both cheeks), and your arms wrapped around friends with their own painted flags on their cheeks. beads hung from your neck in various colors, all of you grinning at the camera. your dad was squished into frame, too, bearing a shirt that offered parental hugs. "mama took this one at my first pride event..."

soonyoung perked up a little. he'd gone to pride once before to support some of his friends. but he didn't dress up the way you did.

"ugh, it's so cheesy," you rolled your eyes. "i just came out to them as bi a few months earlier. i know i'm lucky, because they took it really, really well... but they'd been so goofy about it." you snorted. "i think they both still have the shirts."

"mhm?" he watched you. "i'm glad they support you."

"you could come, too, if you wanted." you snuggled in. "you're my partner. you're supportive...?"

"very supportive," he giggled. "you don't have to take me if you don't want to."

"no, i do," you turned to him. "my parents are straight and they still came to support me. some people are always gonna have issues with it, but as long as you're being respectful then literally no one cares. and those who do usually just go home and bitch on social media about it," you shrugged. "you have a bisexual girlfriend to support. that's reason enough if you want to come."

"i'd love to," he wrapped his arms around yours, snuggling back in. "if you want me there, i'll be there."

you just smiled to yourself. he didn't have to say it any further, but the message was loud and clear: i see you and i accept you and i love you.

jeon wonwoo

"are you alright? you're quieter than usual."

the click of the turn signal filled the car for a moment as you watched lazily out the window. the two of you were more introverted, and after a few hours of socializing, you were the one who would usually recharge a bit in the car while wonwoo drove aimlessly. eventually, he'd ask if you were ready to go home (usually after he'd grown ready to be there, just to gauge where your energy level was). but the two of you usually talked a little, or listened to music and sang along. little things that weren't draining. not that being with wonwoo drained you in any way; he was the exception to how draining socializing could be.

"mhm." it was half-hearted, but you weren't sure what else to say. the two of you had been together this long, how were you supposed to just say you'd realized something about yourself lately?

"okay." wonwoo reached over, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze. "if you want to talk, i'm still here."

the car ride continued in silence for a bit longer. you fiddled with the radio at one point, growing a bit more restless with your thoughts. wonwoo had always been understanding. hell, the two of you would read books by queer authors and discuss them--if it was an issue for him, it would have come up long before now. but it was different, right? being for gay rights and actually dating someone bisexual? it had to be different. hell, you weren't even sure if you were--maybe you were just pretending, and this was all starting to feel stupid and maybe you were--

"honey?" wonwoo's voice was soft and so, so concerned. "you've turned the radio on and off five times now. what's wrong?"

... had you done that? that sounded oddly right. it was easy enough to bump the knob, listen to the radio, and then decide silence was better... only to change your mind again. "can i tell you something?"

he looked over, and then paused for a moment. "let me pull over."

"you don't have to--"

"it's serious, isn't it?" he looked at you. after you gave him a shy nod, then he continued, "i want to give you my full attention, then."

soon enough, he'd pulled over onto the side of the road. you floundered a bit, rambling until wonwoo took your hand in his own for a moment. he ran his thumb over the back of your thumb, slow and steady, and it made you feel grounded.

"it's okay," he said. "you can tell me anything."

so with a deep breath, you pulled yourself together. better to rip the band-aid off. "i think i'm bisexual."

wonwoo watched you carefully for a moment, and then slowly nodded. "okay." he held your hand in his own. a moment later, he quietly asked, "is that all?"

you shyly nodded quickly, face growing warmer by the second. "i'm not telling you because i want to open the relationship or anything," you said. "i just wanted to tell you."

he nodded. "okay," he squeezed your hand. "then thank you for telling me." wonwoo leaned forward, kissing your forehead gently.

an odd sense of uncertainty seemed to swirl in your stomach. he just... accepted it? that was good, but part of your couldn't fully believe it. you'd heard horror stories of relationships going south, of shitty partners becoming ex-partners because they tore their partner down. yet wonwoo just held your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles, and thanked you for telling him.

"is there anything i can do to help you figure it out?" he asked quietly. "i... could look into books, if you wanted to read about it. or--"

tears welled up in your eyes, and you found yourself laughing. "oh my god," the words spilled past your lips. "you're so cute."

wonwoo's eyes widened a little. "i'm... cute?"

why had you been so nervous? the uncertainty was dissipating little by little. it was wonwoo, one of the smartest and most polite men you'd ever met--let alone dated.

"you are," you leaned forward to peck his lips. "but... thank you," you smiled at him, looking at him so tenderly. "for accepting me."

he shyly smiled at the thanks. "you shouldn't be thanking me," he said. "it's the bare minimum." but he squeezed your hand one more time. "let's go home."

with him, you already were.

lee jihoon

"you said there was something you wanted to tell me?"

you had been ever-so-slightly off ever since jihoon met up with you outside your usual coffee shop. but the moment you took jihoon's hand in your own, his worries had been set a little bit at ease... until he realized you were dancing around whatever topic you wanted to bring up to him. he'd let the issue go for a bit: if you wanted to tell him something, you'd tell him when you were ready.

except that had been earlier. the two of you ended up catching a movie (his heart sped up a little when you rested your head on his shoulder, snuggling in happily), and then grabbed dinner at a local restaurant. now it was just the two of you, walking down a semi-empty street, with you rambling about the latest book you'd read.

you turned to him with a hum. "hm?"

"just..." jihoon squeezed your hand a little. "that's why you wanted to meet up. you said you wanted to tell me something."

your smile faltered for a second, twitching slightly as you averted your gaze. "right. yeah. there was something..." but you turned back to him, forcing a smile again. "it's not important."

"is it?" jihoon prodded slightly. he knew you well enough, despite the fact you hadn't been dating all that long. "are you sure?"

your smile fell again, and you let out a sigh. "okay." you squeezed his hand gently, "i just... i dunno. i'm nervous to say it out loud. my ex dumped me over it, and... i really like you, jihoon. but if i don't tell you, then i feel like i'm lying to myself and pretending to be someone i'm not, so..."

jihoon said nothing, just waiting patiently.

you stopped, turning to face him fully as you took both of his hands into your own. "i'm bisexual. i've known for a really long time, but i don't really broadcast that knowledge until i know i can trust someone. and you're... you're really sweet, and i like you, but i need to know that i can be myself around you."

you trusted him? jihoon felt his heart race a little in his chest at the implication. "thank you for telling me," he said, the words a little stiff and stilted as he tried to calm himself back down. you really liked him. you trusted him. the words kept running through his head. which... was really good, because he trusted and liked you, too. you'd been kind enough to take the relationship slow when he asked for it.

"you aren't mad?"

"why would i be?" he gently squeezed your hands, just to reassure you. "i..." his voice dropped a little lower, just to keep this between the two of you, "i really like you, too. and... and i'm glad i get to know you like this."

you just leaned forward, pressing a lingering kiss against his cheek. "i am, too."

and with his sweet acceptance, you fell a little more in love with lee jihoon all at once.

[autogyne-redacted]

My Theory Brian had playing around with the idea that the intense and conflicting ways in which others can project meaning into transfems sets us up to function like a kind of symbolic wildcard that can be, like, ritually sacrificed to give others a way to resolve the contradictions in their identities and moral systems.

.

discussion of transmisogyny including violent forms, banishment/general social disposal, sexual fetishization, misgendering, etc.

Sometimes it's less than a sacrifice, but it still strikes me that were a powerful object in others symbolic rituals. Misgendering us in sex allows others to maintain an identity as whatever combo of gay or straight and man, woman, or nb they want, with the option to lean into a contradictory construction of us to ~flavor~ the sex.

Eg a cis woman or cafab femme can say they're respecting our gender and that they're extremely gay while projecting masculinity and manhood into us to have an experience akin to straight sex. (Or a man can have something akin to gay sex while maintaining an identity as straight, etc.)

//

We can also see harassment and violence from men as a way of resolving the tension between a misogynistic hatred of women and the kind of chivalrous ideals that say you shouldn't do violence to women. We can simultaneously be constructed as an embodiment of femininity (and thus a proper outlet for misogynistic ire) and as a predatory man, thus letting those who do violence to us position themselves as chivalrous protectors of women and children.

///

I've talked before about the kind of symbiotic polarization between framing social conflict within a community (no matter how severe) as drama that should be brushed aside vs escalating every conflict into a schismatic one. Rather than having a static position on one pole or another, I think lots of ppl osculate. It would feel bad (especially in the context of rad scenes) to let too many years go by without doing anything to show you're materially opposed to abuse, but this is in tension with not wanting to disrupt the community, lose a close friend, or come into messy conflict with someone who has social power. The regular disposal of transfems is an easy fix.

//

I also keep coming back to this thought when I try and think about why feminist transmisogyny plays out the ways that it does. I've largely been thinking about the tension between the build up of anti-man resentment that is encouraged in idpol feminist spaces and the fact that most ppl ultimately want to be in social proximity to men and be on friendly terms with them. Idpol feminists will often frame anti-man sentiment as simply venting or "punching up," which privileged ppl just need to become comfortable with and (like reverse racism) is harmless since you need systemic power to oppress anyone.

The desire to find an outlet for these vindictive tendencies aligns with the dominant attempt to cast the blame for the harms of patriarchy onto transfems and suddenly there's the right arrangement of social power to live out revenge fantasies.

What is the "welcome to womanhood" impulse other than glee at the "role reversal" of having someone who can be misgendered as a man facing misogyny?

See also:

-women talking about how great it'd be to objectify men more vs how they relate to transfems

-the pressure for transfems to "prove" their lack of "privilege" by being extremely disempowered + experiencing a ton of misogyny.

-the frequent glee at our suffering.

-Id also say the extreme amount of "anti-white" sentiment that gets thrown at (often non-white) transfems also makes sense within this framework of using a socially acceptable / non-powerful target to live out revenge/role reversal fantasies and just projecting whatever identities and actions onto them are necessary to justify it and make the script work.

///

I feel like I'm probably bouncing off of ideas I've seen ppl vaguely gesture at, and I'm still playing around with all these ideas. Curious about y'all's thoughts tho and thought I'd share <3

[bestiesenpai]

youtuber Sukuna pt2

I wonder what things will happen in this part? I hope there's sparknotes, I don’t feel like reading all these words…

Content warning: *more* mean internet comments, Sukuna doxxing ppl(idk if that needs a warning?? But just in case)

part 1 --- part 3

Being a Youtuber was a lot more work than Sukuna thought it was. When he’d picked you up early in the morning, he wasn’t expecting you to come out with such a fancy camera and microphone. You looked cute as all hell too, hair styled nicely and your outfit was perfect for a day at a countryside cafe.

“Thanks for driving!” You said, climbing into his car and smiling at him. Sukuna could smell your perfume  as it wafted off your body and he immediately felt the urge to buy a bottle as well and spray his pillow with it.

“S’no problem.” He muttered, driving off as soon as you were secure. He’d looked up the place beforehand, reading their menu over and over so he’d know what to order. Slowing down at a red light, he glanced over at you taking pictures.

He wished he could ask you to send them to him so he could save them in the never ending folder he had, but he couldn’t. It would be weird, you weren’t exactly close, and it’s not like you shared any pictures anyway.

“Hey Sukuna, what’s my contact photo on your phone?” The question came out of nowhere and he looked at you in confusion.

“Contact photo? You don’t have one.”

“What, really? I’ll send you a picture then! And add a few cute emojis with my name.” Well, that was easy. He wasn’t expecting you to offer to send him a picture, but he wasn’t going to decline it.

“Okay, I will.” Turning his attention back on the road, Sukuna turned the radio on to fill the silence. “Should I...send you a picture of me?” He had the perfect picture in mind to send you, it was a thirst trap he’d snapped post-shower after a really good day at the gym. A towel hung low on his hips and he still had a few droplets of water on his skin and dripping down from his hair.

“Yes!”

The drive to the cafe was quick and easy, not a lot of traffic early in the morning. The sun was just beginning to settle in the sky and the dew on the grass was fading. The cafe you’d chosen was in a small countryside town, barley fields just a few yards away and farmers with their dogs walking by.

“This the place?” Sukuna asked, pulling into the small parking lot in confusion.

“Yup! I’m so excited!” Hopping out of the car, your camera was immediately put to work filming the surrounding area. It was peacefully silent all around you, the only sound the occasional breeze or dog barking in the distance.

Panning the camera to yourself, you took a quick couple breaths and babbled a few times before speaking properly.

“Hi everyone, as you can see we’re in a different place today! Me and Sukuna are at a cafe in the countryside that I saw online and fell in love with. Say hi Sukuna!”

“Hi.” He was standing at the edge of the lot where a field of wispy tall purple grass started. He waved dumbly, feeling like a dumb kid taken to Disneyworld.

“This is the name of the cafe…” Turning your attention elsewhere, you filmed the rest of your intro. Once again, Sukuna was amazed at the proficiency at which you did things and how smoothly he knew the shots would look.

Looking at the cafe on the outside, it didn’t look like anything special. It was a wooden and concrete building with two large windows. He could see the minimalist decor and furniture inside was wooden as well, probably handcrafted by someone in the town.

“All finished, let’s go in.” Waving him on, Sukuna jogged to be the first to the door to open it for you. Filming as you walked in, when Sukuna entered, he still didn’t understand the hype you’d placed around it.

The air smelt like a strong tea and the humidity was definitely higher. He was right in thinking that all the furniture was handcrafted, all the chairs and tables had a rough quality to them only achievable with a human touch.

“Look, this is what I came here for!” You were standing right at the dessert case, pointing your camera at whatever you were looking at.

“Why is it...?” Sukuna looked at it in confusion. There was an airbrushed cake shaped exactly like the peach emoji sitting in the case with a realistic leaf and stem as well and you looked inexplicably happy over it.

“The owner makes these cakes herself, and she’s doing a cute emoji series!” Bouncing on your heels, you tugged on his sleeve. “I’m totally getting a slice, what’re you getting?” Suddenly, the research he’d done the night prior meant nothing as he looked at the cake.

“I have no idea.”

“You’ve got time to think about it, I’m gonna ask the owner a few questions for the video.” Leaving him at the case, Sukuna saw you go up to the owner waiting at the counter from the corner of his eye. Since the two of you were the only ones here, he could hear your excited voice gushing about the cakes and decor.

Fifteen minutes later, you and Sukuna were seated right in the corner of the cafe, where the two windows intersected on the building. Not one for sweets, Sukuna got a plain poppyseed muffin and a hot tea; the cafe didn’t serve coffee.

Setting up the camera on the table next to you, you took a bite of your cake and loved it, immediately singing its praises to the camera. Sukuna ate as well, trying not to be too stiff as you spoke.

“Sukuna, you should try this too!” Holding up your fork filled with cake, you held it out to him.

“Hm, okay.” Grabbing your hand as well, he expected you to let go of the fork. But as he guided it to his mouth, you didn’t, and you were staring right at him as it went into his mouth. “Why ya staring?” He mumbled, feeling his ears burn.

“I need to know if you like it.” Sukuna didn’t let go of your hand as he chewed and you didn’t make a move to remove it either. You were too focused on his reaction to care, waiting on the edge of your seat for him to say something.

“It’s a peach flavored cake.” He nodded, snorting when you motioned him to say more. “It’s too sweet for me, but if you like it then I like it.”

“Good enough for me!” Finally you pulled away from him and put the fork down, turning to the camera and pointing in his direction. “Can you believe Sukuna doesn’t like sweets? He’s like an old man, he only got a muffin.”

“Please, could an old man deadlift almost 300lbs?” Sukuna scoffed, slapping his chest and flexing his arm.

“That’s so much! You have to train me some day Sukuna, I wanna lift that much!” Your shocked face made Sukuna smirk and he flexed the other arm as well. Your wide eyes got even wider, bouncing between both his arms.

“Anytime, (Y/N).” Sukuna felt confident enough to wink at you, and he saw the way your face faltered at it. Ducking your head away, you pretended to fiddle with the camera, the tips of your fingers shaking slightly.

It was afternoon by the time you finished in the cafe, walking out into the warmth of the sun. Looking out, all the land surrounding the cafe was flat, covered in fields of barley or tall grasses.

“Hey Sukuna…” There you were, touching the purple grass with your fingers.

“What?”

“Will you take a few pictures for me? For Instagram?”

“I don’t think I’ll be any good.” Sukuna barely knew how to take pictures of himself let alone another person.

“That’s okay, just try your best!” Putting another camera in his hand, you grabbed his wrist and tugged him to join you deeper in the field. “That camera is pretty simple, just point and click.”

“Alright.” Holding it up, he immediately snapped a picture of you.

“Wait for me to pose!” You laughed. Sukuna chuckled as well, and when you were ready, he took the pictures. He took as many as he could, clicking the button over and over.

“Take a look.” Twenty minutes later he was handing the camera back at you. Looking through the pictures, you instantly burst into laughter.

“Sukuna, why’d you take a picture of the sun? My head is in the corner, it looks like a toe!”

“I told you it’d be bad!” He couldn’t help but laugh as well. You really did look like a toe in the corner of the screen.

“Oh my god, I’m taking you to a photography class, some of these are too much.” Giggling your way through the rest of the pictures, you put the camera back in his hand. “Let’s take a couple together!”

Sukunas heart leapt for joy. He would be able to take a picture with you. It felt like he was a fan of yours and not someone you knew on a personal level.

“You’re gonna hold the camera, your arms are longer.” Flipping the viewfinder up, you slided up to Sukunas side. He muttered something unintelligible, too busy looking at the two of you together. He could almost imagine you were a couple.

“Sukuna, hold the camera like this.” His hand had gone limp, casting a bad angle on the two of you.

“Don’t face that way, the light will make you look bad.” In one of the pictures, you’d changed poses.

“I know you only take serious gym pictures but smile for this one!” His face had dropped down to a scowl, his normal resting face. After who knows how long, he was finally free from taking pictures.

Wandering back to the car, it was silent as the both of you settled in. You were busy looking over the photos and Sukuna was busy watching you from the corner of his eye.

“Anything else you wanna do here?” He asked after a while of pretending to look on Twitter.

“Mmmm, we can drive around some more! I don’t really know what else is out here.”

Sukuna drove you through the countryside town, marvelling at the farmers and all their animals. You stopped to get a couple handmade candies from an old man, and Sukuna made sure to pick up some food that wasn’t just sweets for you. Eating at a small restaurant, when you hit the road again it was nearly evening.

Driving back in near silence, somewhere along the way you fell asleep. Your head rested against the window, jostled a few times by the road or a turn. Sukuna couldn’t help but look at you any chance he could, and although he felt like a major creep, he couldn’t stop himself from taking a picture of you.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding.” Sukuna groaned as he got closer to the city, coming upon a wall of traffic. Far ahead up the road there was an accident that wasn’t going to be cleared away anytime soon.

“What’s up?” You asked with a loud yawn, stretching out your arms and legs as best you could.

“Traffic.” Leaning his head out the window, he let out another groan. “Might as well put the fucking car in park.” Shifting the gear and sinking low into his seat, Sukuna sighed. It’s not that he hated traffic, but he wanted every moment of this outing to be perfect, and this was seriously hindering it.

“Do you want me to send you some of the pictures we took together for your Instagram as well?”

“Yeah, send ‘em over.” At least Sukuna could stare at the two of you together to pass the time. The amount of pictures you sent him was seemingly endless and included a few he didn’t know you’d taken of him eating and looking out the window.

“How long do you think we’ll be here?” You whined, kicking your feet out in boredom.

“At least an hour.”

It was quiet for a few minutes, the sound of the radio and other cars around you filling the background. Sukuna could see you fiddling with your phone, opening and closing apps. He could see you getting antsy.

“I’m already so bored.” There it was. Your pitiful whine accentuated with your head pushed back. Sukunas fingers itched to reach out and squeeze your cheek, it was glowing from the sun. “I think I’m gonna get on Instagram live or something so I can complain more.”

Laughing at your honesty, as soon as you went live Sukuna got the notification on his phone. Your head was tilted away from him, only your side of the car showed. Waving at the camera a few times, you smiled really big.

“Hi everyone! I’m stuck in traffic!” Your eyes flicked across the screen, reading the many comments coming in. “Hm, what do you mean who’s car am I in? I bought this car!”

“Liar.” Sukuna mumbled with a cheeky grin getting bigger when you tried to hide your own chuckle.

“I swear I bought this car!” You couldn’t keep the lie going, and broke down in giggles the more Sukuna looked at you. “Alright, I’m in Sukunas car.” Panning the phone out, he saw himself on screen.

“Hi.” He waved, reading the comments asking if you were on a date. “Don’t you remember from the last live? We aren’t on a date we’re filming some fucking vlog.”

“It’ll be up soon! You’ll all really enjoy it, Sukuna was a great guest.”

“The best.” He nodded along. You responded to a few more comments, but there were some that kept coming up.

‘(Y/N) kiss Sukuna’

‘(Y/N) kiss Sukuna’

‘(Y/N) kiss Sukuna’

“Stop spamming that fucking message like a weirdo.” Sukuna finally snapped. You had done a great job at ignoring the comment, but it was all Sukuna could see on the screen. “You’re gross to ask us to do that.” But Sukuna did wish he could kiss you. Ever since the first comment came through, he’d taken glances at your lips as you spoke.

“Oof, don’t make Sukuna mad, he’ll kill you.” You teased, and your hand went out to squeeze his arm. “He said he can deadlift almost 300lbs, so watch out.”

“That’s fucking right.” Flexing his arm proudly, Sukuna nearly put it around your shoulder, faltering at the last minute and landing on the center console with a thud.

‘It would be kind of cute to see them kiss…’

‘I bet Sukuna can’t even hug (Y/N)’

‘I bet after today they’ll come out and say they’re dating!’

Now all the comments were talking about the two of you dating, and how cute it would be if you really were. Biting his lip, Sukuna watched your reaction closely. Truly he had no problem with the comments, he wanted them to be true as well, but if you were uncomfortable he was ready to put everyone in their place.

“Gosh you guys ship us so hard.” You seemed okay with it, your face wasn’t tense and you were still making eye contact with Sukuna. “Are you going to subscribe to my channel if I kiss him?”

“What?” Sukunas eyes widened and the comments poured in promising life long dedication to you if you went through with it.

“Alright.” Setting your phone up on the dashboard, you turned to Sukuna. “I’ll be quick, okay?”

“What?” He parroted. His hands were getting clammy just thinking about it and the look in your eyes wasn’t helping. With a nervous lick of his lips Sukuna leant forward and had just begun to pucker his mouth when you loudly kissed your palm and pressed it to his cheek.

“There! I kissed Sukuna!” With a big grin on your face you kissed your hand again and put it on him. “I did it twice! Now go subscribe!”

“What the hell.” Sukuna mumbled to himself, feeling like an idiot for thinking you’d really kiss him. He spent the next fifteen minutes in a stupor, vaguely replying to comments and trying to get over the embarrassment he felt.

Dropping you off nearly an hour past the original time, when Sukuna got home he buried his face into his pillow and let out a short yell. The biting shame he felt at almost making himself a fool in front of thousands of people was still fresh. He knew there’d be fancams of the moment just waiting for him. A buzzing on his phone pulled him out of his thoughts.

(Y/N): you need to send me a picture for your contact photo!

That’s right, the picture. Sukuna didn’t even need to scroll that far to find it, it was in his favorites. Sending it to you without a second thought, he didn’t even have the mind to check your reaction. Leaving his phone on the bed, he rushed to the shower to cool off.

When he returned, there were a flurry of messages from you waiting to be read. Most of them were unreadable keyboard smashes and a few emojis.

(Y/N): SUKUNA!

(Y/N): you can’t just send me a picture like that!!

(Sukuna): why?

(Y/N): you know why!

He could practically hear your flustered little whine.

(Sukuna): enlighten me please

(Y/N): SWSGMLU

(Y/N): you’re such a bully!!

(Sukuna): haha sounds like someone's embarrassed

It was a long few minutes before you replied and Sukuna could see the typing bubbles appear and reappear several times.

(Y/N): I’M GOING TO BED

(Sukuna): you that tired? it’s only 9pm

(Y/N): YES GOODNIGHT

(Y/N): BYE BULLY

(Sukuna): lol goodnight then

In a week, the vlog was up and Sukuna made his debut into the world. He rewatched it several times over, in awe of how well you’d captured the countryside and translated it to video. He even screen recorded some parts, like when he was flexing for you, just to replay your reaction over and over.

In the weeks following, Sukuna watched your channel grow exponentially. Your number of subscribers wasn’t small, but it was nowhere near his, yet you made the leap to over a million and a half practically overnight. And with that new success, came a lot of pressure.

You’d recently taken up streaming, and Sukuna was at every single one. He had made a Twitch account just to watch you and he subscribed immediately, blushing when you read out his name and personally thanked him in a text a few minutes later.

Entering your stream as soon as it started, Sukuna was ready to sit and watch you do whatever. Usually, you played a game like the Sims, but sometimes you’d cook or put makeup on for a stream.

But this time was different. When your face appeared on the screen, you looked down. Almost as if you’d been fighting back tears. Immediately, Sukuna grabbed his phone, ready to call you and ask what was happening.

“Hey guys.” He could hear it in your voice that you were sad. It warbled and broke, and you sniffled a few times.

‘(Y/N) why’re you crying??’

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Did something happen? You can tell us, we’re here for you’

“No, don’t worry everyone it’s just…” A stray tear fell down your cheek and you wiped it away with a shaking hand. “I-I- just-” You quickly broke down crying, turning your chair completely away from the screen.

Sukuna was swiftly dialing your number. He had no idea what was wrong, you hadn’t told him anything was wrong, but he needed to know. He was prepared to go to your house if you needed him to.

“I’m okay, I promise.” Feverishly wiping your tears, you turned back to the camera. Taking several deep breaths, you didn’t look at the camera as you spoke. “I’ve just been getting a lot of hate comments recently and you know I always ignore it but-” Your voice caught, and Sukuna was glued to the screen. “It’s just been a lot honestly.”

‘(Y/N) WE LOVE YOU’

‘PLEASE DON’T CRY WE’RE HERE FOR YOU’

‘I bet it’s all of Sukunas fans, they’re so fucking gross’

‘Totally Sukuna fans, all the real fans love (Y/N) and would never do this’

“N-no, don’t blame Sukuna! He can’t control what people say!” It was totally his fans and he fucking knew it. His call had gone unanswered two times, but on the third time you answered. “Hello?”

“Put me on speaker.”

“But-”

“Put me on speaker!” He demanded. Sukunas blood was boiling, rage rolling over him in waves.

“Sukuna’s calling, I guess he has something to say.” Holding the phone close to the microphone, you kept wiping away tears.

“Listen here you insignificant dirtbags, stop leaving shitty little hate comments on (Y/N)s stuff. You’re all fucking piss poor losers who can’t even wipe your own asses, probably jerking each other off in a pathetic circle. Go get a fucking job, worthless pieces of shit. Don’t think this is something you can get away with either, I’m going to make sure you fucking regret the day you were born.” His voice was dripping with so much malice it scared you. While Sukuna was used to talking like this, you’d never heard it in person and you could tell he meant every word.

“Thanks Sukuna, but you don’t have to-”

“Tell me who they are. Where’d they leave the comments?” Angrily setting up a shitty webcam he had, Sukuna was preparing to do a livestream himself.

“I don’t know…”

“(Y/N).” Taking a pause, he stared at the screen. You were worrying your lip as you stared at your phone while the comments begged for you to tell him.

“Alright. Most of them are under the vlog we did together, and there’s a lot under my most recent Instagram pictures.”

“The ones with us together too?”

“Yeah, those are the worst ones.”

“Keep me on the line.” Sukuna had never been this angry in his life before and it showed in his actions. He was slamming things down in a rush to set up his stream and letting out frustrated noises in the back of his throat.

“Sukuna, what’re you doing?” You’d gotten your emotions under control enough to stop crying, your glassy eyes shining in the light of your room.

“I’m setting up my own stream.” Just as he spoke, his face appeared on the screen and he was live. “Tell everyone to send me screenshots of the hate comments, I’m going to teach these assholes a lesson.”

“I think they heard you.” Indeed they had. The phone was still close to the microphone, and now there were comments pouring in telling Sukuna they’d send links through his stream.

Clicking on almost all of the ones that popped up, his screen was bombarded with pictures of people leaving hateful comments on your posts. Many were saying that you didn’t deserve to be alive, to be so close to Sukuna, and many called you ugly or other mean names.

“Let’s see what this fucker looks like.” Going to one of the profiles on Twitter, Sukuna nearly spat on his screen looking at it. “This ugly sack of shit wants to leave some mean comments? Well it’s your lucky day bitch, you’re the first one to go.” It took Sukuna all of five minutes to find the person's Facebook account where they posted more personal information.

“Oh, that’s a pretty high brow uni you’re going to! It would really be a shame if I sent an email to the dean.” Sukuna said mockingly, already typing up a long email. “You’re not gonna be studying to be a doctor any fucking more. Have fun digging ditches bitch.”

Sukuna’s stream easily went from 200 viewers to nearly 40,000 just in the time it took him to dox the first person. The next one was even easier, and it snowballed from there. Sukuna had no qualms about sharing this personal information, from their addresses to their personal phone numbers to where they worked.

“You really don’t have to do all this.” You kept saying over the phone. You’d ended your own stream to calm down, but you didn’t hang up the phone.

“Yes I do.” Sukuna replied instantly. “People have no respect for others, it’s fucking gross. If they think they can get away with this they’re idiots.” So many comments were egging him on as well, with a lot of people promising to harass everyone exposed until they apologized. “I hope every single one of them loses everything.”

“Sukuna…” With a sigh, you sat back and watched him do it. There wasn't anything you could say to stop him, he was on a warpath and intent on causing harm. Eventually, you had to hang up the call as it got well into the night and he was still going.

“Keep sending the fucking links, I can do this all night.” Sukuna repeated several times, fighting off sleep. His eyes burned from staring at the screen for so long and his back had begun to ache but he wasn’t about to stop now. There were still so many people that had to pay.

After nearly eight hours of streaming himself doxing people, he finally stopped after his channel got banned. His manager had emailed as soon as the sun rose, frantically screaming at him to stop what he was doing or he could get sued.

(Sukuna): tell me right away if this happens again I’ll handle it

He texted you right after getting banned. His body hurt from exhaustion, he could truly pass out at any moment.

(Y/N): I will

(Y/N): sukuna...thanks for doing all that. It really meant a lot to know you care about me

(Sukuna): Of course I care about you

Sukuna was about to type out that he liked you, of course he did all of that and risked himself getting sued because he liked you and never wanted to see you cry again. Almost admitting to how he wanted nothing more than to give you a big hug, but stopping himself at the last moment.

(Y/N): you’re such a good friend Sukuna, thank you

(Sukuna): you’re welcome

It hurt to be put into that category, in the friendzone. It made his tongue curl in disgust, a rancid place that he wanted no part of. People that were in the friendzone were spineless and too weak to just confess their feelings - and Sukuna seemed to be one of them.

After that incident, you went on a break from all social media and Sukuna began to patrol your comments sections. He actively posted that he would start doxing people again if they said anything bad, citing all the damage he’d done to the previous victims. Sukuna had gotten what he wanted, all the people he exposed suffered in some way, most losing jobs and friends.

On a run to the grocery store, Sukuna was listening to a podcast you’d been on. He missed the content you posted, and while he did text you sporadically about Youtube stuff, he didn’t feel comfortable messaging you about anything else. His mind always stopped him, questioning him on if what he wanted to say was really worth your time.

“Hi Sukuna.” Standing at the bread section, Sukuna nearly jumped into the air hearing your voice pop up next to him. There you were in a baggy hoodie and sweats, looking every part an unnoticeable member of society.

“(Y/N)? W-what’re you doing here?”

“Hm? I’m shopping.” You chuckled, showing him your handbasket.

“Right.” Nodding slowly, Sukuna eyed you up. Your eyes were still a little puffy and he could see they were red as well. You looked tired and worn down, not your usual happy self. “Hey (Y/N).”

“Yeah?” You were unprepared for the heavy arm that landed around your shoulders and even more at being pulled into an embrace. Sukuna hugged you to his chest tightly, squeezing the back of your hoodie in his hands.

“I…” He could feel you relaxing into his arms, heaving a deep sigh like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. “Don’t feel sad anymore.” Sukuna seemed to have a habit of saying the things he wanted to say in the worst way possible. What did that even mean? To tell you not to be sad anymore instead of offering something else, like his friendship, during this time. He wanted to tell you he’d be here for you.

“Thanks Sukuna.” Hugging him back just as tightly, he could hear you sniffle a few times. The hug lasted for a while, just standing in front of bread, and a good two minutes passed before you started to unwind yourself from him.

Keeping a loose arm around you, Sukuna kept you close, searching your face for any hint that you would possibly start crying. Your eyes were a little misty, and your lower lip quivered just a little, but you sent him a smile that made it all better.

“So, what’re you getting?” He asked, attempting to be casual.

“Well, I’m actually done shopping now and I just saw you standing here.” You admitted with a chuckle. “I know it’s been a while since we last spoke properly.” The last message you’d sent to each other was about a sim card two days ago.

“Don’t worry about it, you were going through stuff.” Shrugging his shoulder, Sukuna grabbed the bread he wanted. “I don’t want you to force yourself to talk to me if you don’t want to.”

“Sukuna, I want to talk to you more though! I know we only talk about Youtube stuff but I want us to be better friends.”

“Really?” Nearly crushing the bread in his hands, Sukuna quirked a brow at you.

“Yeah!”

“Well...alright then.” That made him really happy, like really really happy. You wanted to pursue a stronger relationship with him and while it wasn’t a romantic one like he hoped, he was still ecstatic on the inside.

“I have to go, but can we video call later? I have some things I wanna ask you.”

“Okay.” Giving you a brief wave, Sukuna watched you walk out of the aisle and out of sight. A silly smile stretched his cheeks at the thought of your call later, and it stayed on his face the whole way home.

Later that night, Sukuna was diligently waiting for your call. He kept his phone glued to his hand, something he didn’t normally do, just in case you called. At nearly 7pm on the dot, you called and Sukuna answered right away.

“Hi!” You weren’t in the baggy clothes anymore, it looked like you were in pajamas sitting on your couch.

“Hey.” Sukuna was sitting at his computer doing editing, so he didn’t have to worry about you seeing the lack of furniture in his home. All you had to look at was a blank wall behind him. “So, you wanted to ask me something?”

“Mhmm! I was wondering- well first, Sukuna do you watch anime?”

“Anime?” His face twisted up in mild disgust. “No, that shit is fucking lame.”

“Sukuna!”

“What? I’m not that much of a fucking loser to like anime.” Rolling his eyes, he immediately envisioned a man in his mothers basement jerking off to pixelated tits. “Why? Do you watch it?”

“Yeah…” Now you were embarrassed, and it showed on your face.

“Fine, you’re not a fucking loser.” Propping his phone up on his desk, he tipped his chair back and looked at the ceiling. “At least, not a total fucking loser.”

“Sukuna!” Now you were laughing at him, and he smirked at you. “You’re so mean, you know that?”

“Hey, that’s my brand ba-” He was about to call you baby, the word catching thickly in his throat. Luckily, he stopped himself and slammed his chair back down on the ground to cover it up.

“Well, now I don’t know if I want to ask you my question! You’re gonna say no right away.”

“Tell me.”

“No!” Shaking your head hard, you panned the phone up to your ceiling. “You’re definitely gonna bully me!”

“Who knew you were such a baby?” There, he’d called you baby like he wanted to. Not in the context that he desired, but he still got to say it.

“Am not!” Glaring at him, you exhaled shortly. “I was wondering if you wanted to come to this anime convention with me? It’s happening downtown in a few weeks and I’m a guest on a lot of panels this year. I want you to come with to help film stuff for me so I can make it into a highlights reel for my channel? As sort of a comeback video since I’ve been gone for a while.” It was amazing how you’d managed to say all of that so quickly without taking a breath.

“A convention?” Sukuna had only been to fitness conventions and a few that his manager made him go to.

“Yeah! And I wanted to know if you watched anime because I wanted to see if you’d cosplay with me!”

“Cosplay? What the fuck is that?” It sounded stupid.

“We would dress up as characters from an anime! Have you heard of demon slayer?” No, he hadn’t and his silence told you as much. “Look up Nezuko from demon slayer, that’s who I’m dressing up as!”

“Fine, one sec.” Quickly typing it into his computer, Sukuna’s brow rose seeing the character. “You’re gonna dress up as some BDSM girl?”

“It’s not BDSM!”

“Then why does she have that thing in her mouth?” What else could it be for?

“That’s because she’s a demon and they don’t want her to eat people!”

“God that’s lame.” Looking between his phone and the computer, Sukuna tried to imagine you in this outfit. It was cute, a cute pink kimono with a little hair tie and sash. The more Sukuna looked at it, the cuter it got. “But on you it’ll be cute.”

“So will you dress up with me?” You asked immediately, your eyes shining with excitement. “I already know what character you’ll be! There’s a boy named Inosuke that-”

“No way, save your breath. I’m not dressing up.” Doing a quick search of the boy in question, Sukuna let out a snort. “And why do you want me to dress up as someone with a boars head on? You saying I’m ugly?”

“You don’t have to wear the head!” The opportunity was quickly slipping through your fingers at seeing Sukuna cosplay. “It’s ‘cause you’re so fit and so is he! And you’re pretty similar too.”

“I don’t care if he was my twin.” Shaking his head, Sukuna closed the tab and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ll tell ya what, I’ll come to this thing and take all the videos and pictures you want and in exchange, I won’t dress up.”

“Wait, how does that logic-”

“Just go with it. Now send me an email about the thing and I’ll clear my schedule.” Waving off any further questions you had, Sukuna quickly got the email for the convention. It was about two weeks from today, and it was going on for the whole weekend.

“So, do you think you’ll be able to make it?” You asked tentatively, worrying your lip.

“Of course.” Sukuna would definitely need to do some serious schedule rearranging. “I’ll pick you up like last time, just let me know the time.”

“You’re the best, Sukuna!” You smiled big at him and Sukuna smiled back. Maybe during the convention, he could show you he was more than just a friend.

When the day of the convention came, Sukuna got ready bright and early to pick you up. The sun had only just settled onto the horizon and he was chugging coffee before leaving.

“Hey.” You yawned loudly as you got in his car, still clearly half asleep.

“Cute.” Sukuna said in response. You looked absolutely adorable. The pink kimono looked good on you, the sash accentuating your waist well. The little green gag he’d seen earlier was hanging around your neck, and you had a cute pink ribbon in your hair.

“Hm? You like it?” Shuffling around, that was when Sukuna saw how high the slit was on your outfit, coming high up on your thigh. His eyes were glued to the skin that showed, unable to look away.

“I do.” He whispered, glancing at you briefly to see your eyes were closed.

“That’s good, I spent a lot of time on it.” Putting your seatbelt on, you yawned again and pointed lazily out the window. “To the convention!”

It was a short drive to the convention, and you were some of the first people there. With a badge around his neck, Sukuna followed you into the hall. You weren’t carrying the bag of camera equipment you’d brought, Sukuna insisted on carrying it so it wouldn’t ruin your costumes aesthetic.

“We’re here really early to get pictures! I booked with a professional photographer, and my pictures are going to be used as promo for a few brands here today.” You explained as Sukuna followed you into a room with a full photoshoot set up.

“Okay.” He was completely lost watching you begin to take pictures. After chugging an energy drink, you hopped straight into it. Sukuna made sure to watch the photographer closely, looking at the computer as the pictures popped up to make sure they weren’t indecent for you.

Nearly an hour and a half later and you were finally done. Sukuna had begun to film some parts of it for you per your request; his job as videographer started now.

“The convention hall is open now to everyone, it might be kind of overwhelming to see all the people out there.” You told him as the photographer was packing up.

“Eh, I’ll be fine.” With a shrug of his shoulders, Sukuna left the room and stepped out into the main hall. Immediately, he knew you were right. There were so many people already milling around dressed in costume, most from shows and games he’d never seen. The only readily identifiable characters for him were from Nintendo.

“Told you it was a lot.” Bumping him with your shoulder, walked out into the convention space. If Sukuna didn’t stand right behind you, he feared he would lose you in the crowd. There were other people dressed up as the same character and he couldn’t trust himself to differentiate between all of them.

Filming a little bit of walking around, Sukuna could hear and see people looking at him in shock. It wasn’t unknown that Sukuna had a distaste for anime and the whole culture surrounding it. Some of his most popular videos were him making fun of people at the very same thing he was at now.

“E-excuse me, (Y/N)?” A young teenage girl approached you, nervously fiddling with her phone.

“Hi!” You waved, immediately seeing her phone. “Do you want a picture?”

“Yes, please!” The girl's nerves quickly dissipated at your question, but she still looked scared of Sukuna.

“How about we take a few selfies?” Sliding next to her, you put an arm around her shoulder and posed. You and the girl took a numerous amount of pictures, and when she left she had a happy blush on her cheeks.

“Is that gonna happen often?” Sukuna asked, watching the girl disappear into the crowd.

“Yeah, sorry! I posted that I’d be going to this for the second and third day and a lot of people said they were gonna ask for pictures.” Rubbing the back of your head nervously, you sized up Sukunas face. “Sorry if it annoys you, I know it can be kind of tedious.”

“I don’t mind. Let's get going.” With a casual shrug, Sukuna walked to where your first panel was. He stayed off to the side as you talked to the organizers and other guests, feeling awkward that he couldn’t hold a conversation on whatever it was you were talking about.

The people soon filed into the panel, filling the seats and whispering excitedly about you and the other people sitting at the front of the room. Some of them noticed Sukuna and whispered about him too.

Ignoring them diligently, Sukuna filmed your panel from the back of the room. He didn’t need to worry about picking up any sound, you were speaking into a microphone. All he had to worry about was capturing good angles for you.

He did this for a few more panels as well, slowly getting more comfortable with people noticing him there. He even waved at a few fangirls that saw him, their faces erupting in a scarlet flush and giggling silly.

“We have almost two hours before my next panel, do you want to grab some food? I’ll pay.” Waiting in the back of an empty room, you tried to reach for your bag that Sukuna had slung over his shoulder.

“No, you don’t have to pay.” Pushing your hand away, Sukuna kept you at arms length.

“C’mon, you have to let me pay! You’re doing so much for me already!”

“Nope.” You tried to struggle past him and grab your bag, but Sukuna was strong enough to keep you at bay with one arm. “Fine! But I’m buying you a plushie later!”

“Whatever.” With the matter settled, the two of you left the room. Almost as soon as you came out, there was a loud gasp from a few people outside the door.

“Oh my god, your Nezuko is so good!” One of them shouted. Sukuna eyed him up, a young man dressed with a strange green and black checkered overcoat.

“Thanks!” You replied, fiddling with the edge of the brown one you were wearing. “I spent ages on getting everything just right!”

“Y-you’re (Y/N)! I didn’t think I was going to see you today!” Another man had on a similar getup to the first, but he was clad in yellow and orange.

“It must be your lucky day!” Laughing a little at his shocked face, you quickly noticed the third man standing there. “Sukuna look, this is what I meant when I said you should dress up as Inosuke!”

“Huh.” He looked at the shirtless man in front of him. The guy was muscular enough, not nearly as much as Sukuna was though. The brown pants he wore were too baggy for Sukunas liking, but he could see the way you were looking at him.

“Can we get a picture please?”

“Of course!” You quickly got in the middle of the three of them and crouched down, throwing up peace signs and smiling brightly as they took the selfies. Sukuna was watching all of their hands, making sure no one touched you or got too close.

“Sukuna, will you take a group picture for us?” You asked, already handing him a phone.

“Yeah.” You didn’t really leave him with a choice and it’s not like he was going to say no to you anyway. It was harder to keep track of just where these men were putting their hands, and every so often Sukuna would look to make sure that the hand placed on your back stayed there and didn’t go any lower.

“Thank you so much!”

“You’re the best, (Y/N)!

“Bye, please tag me in the pictures if you post them!” Waving cutely at them, you walked away. “Ah, that was so much fun! They were so cute!” Gushing about the pictures, you didn’t notice Sukuna had a vein throbbing in his forehead. He seriously wishes he’d dressed up in that dumb costume with you so you could feel the same way about him.

Quickly eating some fast food - much to Sukunas disgust - you were back in the convention hall. There seemed to be even more people here than before milling about. Gripping the back of your top, Sukuna made sure you didn’t get too far from him in the crowd.

“Let’s go check out the merch!” Leading him to a larger space in the convention center, your eyes sparkled looking at all the different vendors spread out. “Sukuna, is there anything you want to check out?”

“Not really.” The only thing he could see that he knew were some overpriced candies. “I’ll just follow you.” And that he did. You stopped at nearly every booth, rejoicing about how cute something was and how much you wanted a certain figure. Sukuna offered to pay for whatever you wanted, but you staunchly refused.

“Sukuna, which one’s your favorite?” Coming upon a booth filled to the brim with different plushies, you crossed your arms and squared your shoulders. “We aren’t leaving here until I buy you a plushie!”

“I don’t need one.” Not only would it ‘ruin’ his tough image, he didn’t like those things to begin with.

“Yes you do!” Stamping your foot childishly, you pointed at them. “Pick one!”

“Who knew you could be so mean?” He teased back with a flick to your forehead.

“Shut up.” Puffing out air, you grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to the booth. “I’ll even help you decide.”

“O-oh.” You were holding his hand. You were definitely, 100% holding Sukunas hand. Your two hands were squishing his one in your palms, shaking it side to side as you looked at all the choices before you. How was Sukuna supposed to pick something when you were holding his hand so close to your body? He could feel the tips of his fingers graze your sash every couple seconds.

“What about this one?” You pointed your hands to a brown bear with a giant body but a tiny head.

“What’s wrong with the head?” He looked concerned at the doll.

“It’s supposed to be like that!”

“I- okay.”

“Do you like it?” Looking at him hopefully, you squished his hand even more. “It’s so cute, you have to get it.”

“Let me see it.” Picking it up with his other hand, Sukuna stared at the unmoving, smiling face of the bear. Squeezing it in his hand, Sukuna let out a short sigh and put it down. “Alright, I’ll get it.”

“Yes!” Letting go of his hand, you rushed to grab your wallet before he could stop you. “Make sure to send me a picture of you with it!”

Right after you finished paying, Sukuna nearly demanded to buy you stuff as well. He’d seen the way you were eyeballing the figures and some books, and he wasn’t going to be the only one to leave this part of the convention hall with a souvenir.

The bags he was carrying were definitely heavier now when you left to go to your next panel. They put a little strain on Sukunas arms but he wasn’t about to let you carry anything and quickly ducked back to his car to put it all away.

Right in the middle of your next panel, Sukuna ducked out to go to the bathroom. He was keeping well hydrated during this whole day and it was surely catching up with him now. Wandering the halls, he eventually found a bathroom to use and on his exit, he noticed a sign for something called an ‘artists alley’.

“Let’s check it out.” Here, there were people selling things but they were clearly fan made. There were paintings and pins, stickers and fan art everywhere. Wandering between the vendors, his eye caught on a particular booth.

“Sukuna?” The person gaped when he walked up but he wasn’t paying attention to them. On a cork board above them was a moderately sized drawing of you, dressed up in an all red get up.

“How much?” He pointed at the drawing, looking at the red cap you had on that matched with the red jacket.

“The (Y/N) x Cells At Work fan art? It’s $35.”

“I’ll take it.” The artist was clearly surprised, scrambling to grab the drawing and put it in a protective sleeve. “Keep the change.” Sukuna slapped 40 down and turned away. “Oh, and don’t tell anyone I was here.”

“O-okay!” They shouted after him. Sukuna kept the drawing close to his chest and when he got back he quickly hid it in his bag so no one would notice. He started filming again like he’d never left and you didn’t question him on it when it was over.

“Man, I’m so tired!” With the convention over hours later, you all but collapsed into Sukunas car. It had indeed been an eventful day between speaking at panels and taking pictures with countless people.

“Yeah, I’m beat.” Sukuna agreed, taking a moment to sit in silence in the driver's seat. He hadn’t expected to be so tired after today. He’ll have to prepare better for tomorrow.

Driving you home, both of you were like zombies as you departed. Sukuna didn’t even have the heart to properly disrobe when he got home, collapsing into bed with the plush you’d gotten for him still in his hand.

The next day was just as hectic as the day before, the word had gotten out that you really were at the convention and now more people swarmed you in between panels. Sukuna took the pictures for all of them, giving any man that wanted one a harsh glare before he started. He was easier on the younger girls, but he still made sure that they didn’t try to flirt with you or anything. No one could be fully trusted.

“Sukuna, I forgot yesterday but we need to go to the artists alley!” You exclaimed in shock, grabbing his upper arm. “They have such cool stuff!” Oh, Sukuna definitely already knew about it. The drawing he’d bought of you was hanging in his room, by his full length mirror so he could see it whenever he wanted.

He pretended everything was brand new to him, acting as if he’d never seen the pins before or the stickers and tote bags. Coming upon the artist he’d bought from yesterday, he noticed there was more fan art of you there.

“Oh my gosh, that’s me!” You giggled happily, pointing to yourself drawn as a Pokemon trainer. “It looks so good!”

“Thank you so much (Y/N)!” The artist gaped, clearly shocked to see you here. “I-I studied all of your pictures so I could get everything just right!”

“You did a great job!” The two of you went on and on about the drawings and other paintings that were there. Sukuna wished he could chime in and say that he really liked the art he bought yesterday, but there was no way he was explaining to you that he bought a drawing of you as a red blood cell. He would rather die.

The rest of the day went by in a blur, all the panels going by so fast and melting into one another. He didn’t feel the same exhaustion as the other day, but Sukuna was definitely still tired as he walked to the car.

“Sukuna, thank you so for this weekend, it really means a lot!” You were the happiest he’d ever seen you. The footage he’d filmed for your video perfectly captured all the good parts of the convention, with several shots of your smiling face with fans and other panel members. “How can I repay you?”

“Well…” There was something he’d been wanting to ask you for a while, ever since he saw you in costume. Today was the last day of the convention and subsequently the last day you’d be wearing this costume. “Can we get a picture together?”

“What? We never took a picture together?”

“No.” Sukuna chuckled at your surprised face. Rushing to his car, you set up a little stand for your camera on the hood of his car.

“Okay, let’s take some!” As soon as Sukuna was standing next to you, you wrapped your arms around his middle in a tight hug.

“W-what’re you doing?” Immediately, his face began to blush.

“You deserve a hug, Sukuna, you’ve been amazing.” Sukuna could barely breathe. Not because you were holding him firmly, but simply from the fact that you were hugging him of your own accord. His hands were shaking slightly as he moved to hug you back, grinning shyly at the pleased hum you let out when he did so.

The drive home left a bittersweet feeling on Sukunas tongue. He was glad it was over so that he didn’t have to wake up so early and deal with the gross crowds of people. There weren’t potentially disgusting men and perverts trying to take upskirt shots of your costume or grope you that he had to worry about.

Stopping at a light though, he realized how much fun he had as well. Listening to you talk and share your opinions on the panels was interesting and getting to hear others talk to so passionately as well had made him interested in a few shows. He knew you’d be ecstatic to hear that he could potentially get into anime, and Sukuna knew that at the next convention, he’d dress up for you. He also loved the bear you’d bought him even though that was something he’d never admit.

“Thank you again Sukuna, seriously.” You squeezed his arm as he pulled up to your house.

“Don’t mention it. Let me help you with the stuff in the back.” You’d bought even more things today than yesterday, mostly for friends and family that couldn’t make it to the convention. Gathering all the bags, Sukuna walked them to your door and wandered right into your apartment.

“You can put them all near the couch!” Closing the door behind him you quickly jogged over to the couch to help him with the bags.

“Whoa, your place is nice.” It actually looked like someone lived here as opposed to Sukunas place that looked like an upgraded jail cell. There was a fluffy rug on the wall and a few cute figures and small plushies on shelves, you had plants hanging down from the ceiling and it smelled vaguely floral. There was also a space dedicated to fan made art and gifts, with some fresh flowers sitting in a vase.

“Thanks! Maybe we can film a video here someday!”

“Definitely.” Mumbling dumbly, Sukuna was vaguely aware of you staring at him. “What?”

“You’re such a good friend, Sukuna. I can’t thank you enough!” Again, you hugged him. Burying your face into him, you shook his body side to side before quickly letting go. “Anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask!”

“Hey that’s my line.” Patting you on the head, Sukuna let a dumb smile spread his cheeks. He truly had the most fun ever with you, and for a moment he could pretend that you were a couple and that he was going to spend the night here, cuddle up with you and talk about all the dumb little things happened the past few days.

But he wasn’t dating you and his daydream only lived a few seconds before he made his departure. Going back to his own home, as Sukuna stepped inside he got a notification that he’d been tagged in a photo.

It’s one of the ones you’d taken together where you were hugging each other tightly. Your smile was genuine, showing all your teeth. Your eyes were crinkled at the corners, looking at Sukuna’s kind of surprised face with an indescribable warmth.

‘I love my friends’

That was the caption you’d put with a simple heart emoji after. There were people in the comments asking if this meant you were dating now, begging for you to admit it so they could say their ship sailed. Reading the caption over and over, Sukuna bit his lip to contain the feeling spreading in his chest.

‘I love my friends too’

He commented. And one day, he promised himself that he’d get to call you something more than just a friend. Wandering further into his apartment, he smiled like an idiot at his phone, quickly screenshotting the post.

“Ow!” Bumping his shin hard into his plastic foldable dining table, he was faced with the jarring reality of his surroundings. If he wanted to call you his, he needed to get some furniture first.

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

[bitimdrake]

This is the anon who talked abt Kon and Clark earlier, PLEASE write a full post about it (if you want to, ofc!) Anyway yeah, I think the main problem with his fanon self is that people simply have not read the old Superboy and YJ comics (which is such a shame!!!). Let Kon be his own person instead of defining him by his relationship to Clark (or Tim, for that matter), Clark already HAS a son!! It's weird how the Superfam is honestly one of the most healthy but ppl insert drama w/ no canon basis

sfgh it's less I wouldn't make a full post about it, and more I have talked (and memed) about it before and I'm trying not to repeat myself. Also, great rundown here.

But I mean, if I'm being invited to talk--

It is such an insertion of unnecessary drama where there was none! I've mentioned before how my most hated bits of fanon all involve unfairly demonizing one character for the sake of another, and this is absolutely an example of that. Clark has not done anything wrong! Kon has not ever wanted/expected him to be a dad! There is no reason to force in a conflict here!

And the fact that said conflict is just so predicated on this...very bullshit, very genetics-based, forced nuclear family idea... :| :| That does not sit well with me either. Stop trying to insist on this relationship based solely on DNA.

Clark is not morally obliged to be a parent to the clone who his DNA was stolen to make! (But he has chosen to a friend and family and ally to that kid, and to make sure he's okay, because he is a good dude in general who wants to help others, and because he feels a kinship with anyone who wears his sign.)

One of the genetic donors who shares half of Kon's DNA, Clark, is like a brother, and that's great! The other donor, who has the same genetic relationship, does not have the same emotional relationship, and that's also okay! They literally do not need to be the same! And Lex Luthor is a fucking terrible person who only calls Kon "son" out of possessive egoism over his proprietary "property," so he really shouldn't be counted as family here!

(god do not even get me started on how much i hate 'good dad lex'. this guy is the worst he is the fucking worst he should never be a parent WHY are you deciding to vaunt the cruel murderous billionaire supervillain who mind controlled kon into hurting his friends as a pillar of parenting while demonizing a guy who is just a genuine ally and supporter.)

Meanwhile, the people who are Kon's parental figures are not his genetic parents and that is wonderful! It is great that he has (official and unofficial) adoptive family. I am begging y'all to stop insisting that is somehow less valuable or legitimate or meaningful than a genetic relation.

I feel like. people who are primarily batfam focused have this false idea that all hero families fit into rough nuclear family molds (despite that not even being true for the bats) and that all legacy heroes are sidekicks and children to their predecessors--despite many, like Kon, not being sidekicks at all, nor having parent/child relationships with the older heroes.

The second most prominent superfamily member after Clark is not a child but his cousin, Kara. Others, like Steel, aren't literal family at all, just part of the hero family. And he has also had kids--Jon currently, and for a wonderful glimmer back in preboot, Chris--but with all the different relations here, there's just no reason Kon has to be shoved into the role of son.

And Kon! doesn't! want! Clark! to be! his! dad!

Plus honestly, I mean. Kon's got plenty of issues already, I think. We can let him keep his occasional-mentor/brother-of-choice to bounce off for advice instead of taking that from him too.

[gwynrielendgame]

Gwyn x Nesta

This is not as edited as my other fics but I was just too excited to post. I would like to comment that I pretty much think every character is bisexual unless stated otherwise lol. I also recognize this piece could come off problematic (ppl thinking this is fetishization) I personally don’t think it is, but I welcome constructive criticism. I am bisexual and a SA survivor so I felt comfortable writing about those topics considering I have personal experience with both.

Thank you for the idea: @mercurianbisous @genya-berdara

“Hey Nes.”

Nesta jumped from her spot on the couch, closing her book as she did so. A small smile graced her face as she realized Gwyn was standing at the entry of the House of Wind library.

“Hey Gwyn, you scared the shit out of me.” Nesta chuckled as she put her book away. She patted the spot next to her, beckoning for Gwyn to join her. Gwyn knew she looked awkward standing there, twisting her fingers. Gwyn hesitantly took the spot.

“I have a favor to ask.” Gwyn managed to spit out. She needed to start somewhere and knew that Nesta would never judge her for what she was about to ask. She might turn her down, but she would never laugh.

Nesta simply raised a singular eyebrow at Gwyn. She leant back on the couch and flourished her hand as if to tell Gwyn to continue.

“I am only asking you because I know you are not interested in women, which is precisely why I cannot ask Emerie-“

“You are interested in Emerie?” Nesta asked nonchalantly. Gwyn felt relief at the lack of judgement, but annoyed at the interruption. She needed to get this out now or she never would.

“No. Listen to everything before you answer.” Nesta gave a shrug which Gwyn took as her agreement.

“I want to practice kissing, but there are no males that I trust enough to ask and I cannot ask females from the library. I figure if I practice enough it will not be so anxiety inducing for me. With everything that happened to me, I think it might be easier to start kissing females and work my way up to males. I think once I can kiss a male then I will know my trauma does not have that power over me and this is my really convoluted way of asking you to kiss me.” She snapped her mouth shut the second she finished rambling. She searched Nesta’s face for any emotion that might give away how she feels about the matter.

“ I did not think you fancied women.” Nesta said plainly.

“I suppose I have not paid much attention to any romance. But I would say I value the person over body parts.” Gwyn shrugged but her face was bright red from embarrassment.

“Okay, lay one on me.”

She gave a startled look to her friend, who was handling this much better than Gwyn was. The ease with which she accepted this made Gwyn inherently suspicious.

“Do you fancy women?” She looked at Nesta through narrowed eyes.

“Not particularly. But I love you Gwyn, and Cass won’t mind especially if it is to help you.” A very rare, coveted soft look blessed Nesta’s face. Gwyn found herself wanting to cry. She had not felt this type of companionship in years.

“I do not want you to feel obligated as my friend. I understand if you want to say no.”

“Do I appear as someone that feels obligated often?” Nesta asked with raised eyebrows. It made Gwyn giggle a little. Nesta grabbed Gwyn’s hand, forcing her to look at Nesta.

“Lay one on me, love.” Nesta’s face was beautiful as she smiled. It made Gwyn start to feel a little nervous. They were really doing this.

“I am going to start with my eyes open. It is easier to remind myself who I am kissing.”

“Okay.” Again, a soft smile graced her face as she used a soft voice. Normally Gwyn hated pity, but she appreciated Nesta being sensitive to the situation.

Even though her heart was beating out of her chest, she set her hands on Nesta’s shoulders and focused in on her lips. They were a standard set of lips. Medium sized, and smooth. Gwyn took one last deep breathe and shoved her lips against Nesta’s. They both could admit the kiss was awkward at best. Gwyn would take awkward over horrific any day though. She kept her eyes wide open while Nesta’s were closed. One may not even call it a kiss, really just two pairs of lips not touching. Neither of them moved a muscle. Gwyn realized it was because Nesta was letting Gwyn have complete control over the situation and that made her smile through the kiss. Once Gwyn was certain that no unwanted memories were waiting to overwhelm her, she puckered her lips and actually kissed her before pulling away.

“How was that?” Nesta asked.

“Terrifying.” Gwyn said with a grin. “Let’s try again.” She gave a sheepish look after a moments thought. “If that is fine with you?”

Nesta rolled her eyes before closing them and comically puckering her lips. Gwyn once again giggled before going in for a second kiss. Once again she started with her eyes open, but once her heart calmed down and she stopped worrying about the past, she closed her eyes. There was something comforting about kissing Nesta, it was not attraction or chemistry. Perhaps, love though. An intimate expression of platonic love that squeezed at Gwyn’s heart. It was easy to ignore the past when the scent of Nesta and books were so overwhelmingly comforting to Gwyn. When the feel of Nesta’s hands were so familiar. Or when her even breathes were so recognizable. Gwyn knew there was not a safer spot in the world than right by Nesta’s side. Gwyn decided to be bold and flick Nesta’s bottom lip with the tip of her tongue. It caused Nesta to squeak and open her eyes for a second before settling back into the kiss. Slowly, they both started deepening the kiss. A swipe of a tongue here, a turn of the head there. It was a nice kiss, mostly exploratory. Simply, Gwyn discovering her boundaries, deciding what might be too much. Gwyn lifted her hands to grip Nesta’s face, so that the kiss might be less awkward. Nesta kept her hands in her lap which Gwyn was grateful for.

The doors to the library burst open with an exuberant Cassian. Gwyn all but threw herself against the opposite side of the couch.

“Nes, I was thinking for tonight-“ he stopped abruptly at the sight he just walked in on. Gwyn thought his brain might be malfunctioning from system overload based on the expression on his face.

Gwyn suddenly felt very guilty. This must have looked much worse than it actually was to him. Gwyn briefly glanced at Nesta. While Gwyn was stiffly sitting on the sofa, Nesta was nonchalantly leaning against the arm of the chair from her spot. A small smirk rested on her lips. Cassian’s head had been comically bouncing back and forth from Nesta and Gwyn before resting on the latter.

“Are you trying to steal my mate?” He was trying to muffle a laugh and failing. Gwyn hid her face behind her hands as it flamed a brighter red.

“This is not what it looks like!” Gwyn muttered into her hands. Cassian sauntered right over to the couch and plopped himself between the girls.

“Do explain.” He nudged Gwyn with a smile on his face. She was glad he was not angry, but the last thing she wanted to do was explain. She looked to Nesta for help who ended up sighing very loudly.

“I was helping Gwyn with some intimacy problems.” Was all she gave as a response. Cassian dropped the smile and looked at Nesta with such a serious look that Gwyn wondered if she misinterpreted Cassian’s emotions. Maybe he was mad after all.

“Is Gwyn a better kisser than me?” He said it so seriously that all Gwyn could do was groan. Nesta giggled, which did not happen often, so Gwyn knew Nes was highly amused by the situation while Gwyn was mortified.

“Gwyn is the best kisser.” Nesta said earnestly.

Gwyn rolled her eyes as that as she continued to try and press herself as far into the couch as she possibly could. Cassian’s wings were still almost touching her and all she wanted was to disappear from this mortifying situation forever.

“Damn, now I want one. What do I have to do to get a Gwyn kiss?”

The teasing was too much for Gwyn to bare.

“Stooooop.” Gwyn whined as the mated couple tried to mask their laughter.

“Please, Gwyn?” He even puckered his lips at her. She knew he was joking, but she wanted it to stop and knew exactly how to get him to stop. Besides, this is the next level up on the intimacy scale for Gwyn with Cassian being a male and all. She quickly pressed her lips against his and pulled away just as fast.

A second later she realized how impulsive it was. She began forming an apology to both of them when she noticed they were both smiling genuinely. Gwyn rested her hands on her burning cheeks and looked away.

“I agree, Nes. She is the best.” Cassian replied as he threw both arms around the females shoulders.

“You two are the worst.” Gwyn whined as she realized they had teamed up against her to get her to kiss Cassian.

“I think this is means for celebration Gwyn.” Nesta ignored her complaints and continued smiling. “You kissed two people today and one was a male. Big accomplishments.” Gwyn huffed but could not stop the small smile that spread her lips.

“That is good.” Gwyn relented. Secretly she was glad that neither of them were upset.

“Before you know it, you will have made out with the entire night court inner circle.” Cassian joked. “I bet you could even manage to steal a kiss from Azriel’s shadows.”

“Well, they do like me.”

“Everyone likes you Gwyn. You are awesome.” Nesta held Cassian’s hand as they all sat on the couch.

Gwyn felt a punch to a stomach as she looked at their hands. It was longing, she discovered. She wanted to sit on a couch holding someone’s hand. She wanted to be so comfortable with a person that every move they made was in sync like Nes and Cass seemed. She sighed. One day she would get her happily ever after. There really was no rush.

[cupidlakes]

I'm getting kinda worried that George might be feeling like every stream he does needs to be better than the last stream (for the main channel ofc) and the reason why he hasn't been streaming if because he has no idea what to stream? I mean, it's been so long since we've gotten a solo stream from him.

It's like how people comment on Karl always needing someone else on his stream for him to be able to stream and I just wonder if George is starting to go towards that path as well. I really hope that George knows that we would watch him play anything at this point really and he's just as entertaining by himself as he is with others. This is me desperate for a solo stream tbh, I like Dream Team, Sex Havers n Feral Boys dynamics but I feel like when he's on his own, he becomes a bit more open about himself?

Also, yeah I agree with you with the whole editing stuff as well but I also kinda understand George with the whole executive dysfunction. Streaming and editing are both kinda his jobs, it's hard to get another job going when you're stuck with this job that is very overwhelming for you to do that causes you to procrastinate on it and also hinders you from doing anything else as well because you need to finish that one first. Reminds me of when George said how his life qualify does down when he's in his editing arc, gosh so relatable.

I just hope he doesn't push himself too hard. I just want him to feel comfortable streaming whatever and whenever he wants, not everything has to be planned. Yeah, this is me in my missing George arc.

this ask is quite long (although i appreciate it) so my answer is it going to be under the cut!!

i mean yeah basically this, i don’t want to sound repetitive because i think i’ve said this a lot but i do also feel like george is falling into the trap of feeling like he has to put out big! and planned! streams on the gnf twitch channel when before it used to be for whatever (looks like it’s reflecting in his main channel on yt too, like how “go big or go home” the challenges have been feeling recently)

like i guess that’s what his alt is for and i understand the need to have a distinction between “high-effort” content and more lowkey stuff but even that seems like it’s become another burden for george when it comes to: finding stuff to do/play and feeling like he “has to” keep up on donations and gifted subs etc etc. it just makes me think about how at the end of the day some of the most beloved streams among the fandom have been the more lowkey ones or the ones which devolved into chaos naturally and although his planned streams are well-received view-wise and stuff (and his effort is always appreciated, words can’t explain how much i love the cooking stream for example) it isn’t worth seeing our cc missing in action for so long <\3 ppl have pointed out streamers like tubbo, ranboo and tommy have struck a good balance when it comes to delivering a steady stream of both high + “low” effort content both equally enjoyed by their viewers

when people say they’d watch george do anything they /mean it/ not in the “oh he can be lazy and put out any old rubbish and we’d eat it up” but in the fact that seeing him enjoy himself alone or with friends is more than enough, we’re drawn to his personality and whatever he puts out is going to be appealing most of the time! some people even resonate more with chilled out content that’s not so “high-effort” we are here for george not the games he plays or his concepted ideas, it’s him doing whatever, his reactions, his persona, him

i feel like george sometimes “falling” on needing other presences in his streams has more to do with the fact that he’s clearly the most comfortable/energetic among friends and bouncing off them is easier, he’s expressed before that he can’t talk for very long himself unprompted so having other people there must be comfortable but yes, solo streams are very treasured in that he seems more willing to open up when he’s alone and tell rambled stories and it’s just… nice i wish he’d see the appeal in occasional solo streams like when he used to speedrun! because he is actually good at carrying them and creating a good vibe, there’s a reason why so many ppl seem to be asking for one right now

and the editing stuff just makes me sad he should know that he doesn’t have to live like this i know he stubbornly wants to be the one to edit his videos (or dream because he trusts he’ll do them justice) but he should realise that there are ways he can better his quality of life in this aspect even looking into finding ppl willing to edit in a similar fashion and offering the resources to (hence my idea of accepting ppls work and looking through for contenders) or finding more effective ways to edit instead of dedicating all his time to one vid and clearly stressing out about it especially because technically he also works on his own terms? there’s nothing wrong with having set deadlines for yourself and feeling like an upload is due and i’m glad he’s not lazy in that aspect god bless or delivering content generally

but being purely unable to concentrate on anything else because you’re focussed on a single video for two weeks sounds awful

hey these are just my messy thoughts though at the end of the day i also take into account he could be busy with general life stuff i’m just making a commentary on him explaining why he disappears and why it’s so hard for him to edit in that time, hope he’s ok <3 and i hope the vid is a banger though i trust it will be, my cc is a perfectionist!