#this is why I call myself pan because I do NOT know what the rest of y'all are doing tbh

[fazedlight]

"What is gender?" and "What is camp?" and "What is sci-fi vs. fantasy?" are all the same-shaped problem in my head.

Everyone knows what they are but no one can explain them to me 😭

[witchthewriter]

Poly141! | Mission Pixie Dust

Okay so... I was making up scenarios in my head as I was falling asleep last night and I made myself cry ... so I obviously had to share...

Poly141; the four men are your husbands and all deployed at the same time, leaving you home with your three kids at the beginning of the school holidays.

This turned out longer than I thought it would but I just had to write it out. I love Poly141 AND them being dads :')

Da = Johnny

Papa = John P.

Dad= Simon

Daddy = Kyle

School holidays had just started, and your three pups were buzzing as soon as they came home. Bags were thrown on the floor, school shoes unlaced and scattered around the shoe stand. They knew the rules, but first day of school holidays meant they were allowed to get a little wild.

Your oldest, Paesha, had just turned eight and her father was obvious. Thick curls, dark skin and warm brown eyes made it plain to see. But all your husbands loved her the same. In fact, she had a special bond with her Da (Johnny).

Malachai, your second, could have been any of the three other men's. Light brown hair, fair complection, and utterly/overly protective of his sisters. He had been born a year after Pae.

And your youngest, Felicity (known as Flick), had started her first year in big school. She was known for having exceptional blue eyes.

None of your husbands wanted a DNA test, they thought it useless because everyone treats the children with the same love, compassion and warmth.

Throwing your keys on the counter (Paesha picked them up and placed them on the hook). You rubbed the bridge of your nose and tried to quell the longing in your soul. You didn't know if it was worse when the kids were gone or with you. Being completely alone let the terrible thoughts attack but you didn't want your kids to miss out on having their fathers'.

Calming the oncoming tears, you turned around and asked, "who wants pizza for dinner?"

"YES!" Yelled Mal, a fist punched in the air. Paesha nodded her head enthusiastically while Flick did a little happy dance.

Paesha halted and squinted at you, "Not homemade right?"

After dinner arrived, the four of you sat on the large dark green couch. Your two ex-military dogs, Moth and Teddy, sat on either end of the lounge.

Turning onto the streaming service, you found the exact movie you were looking for. The 2003 version of Peter Pan.

With the lights off (except for the kitchen, the kids were still scared of too much darkness), you watched as one of your cats jumped into Pae's lap. Barnaby started purring instantly. His fluffy white tail settled around his body.

The seven of you settled in. Your four human babies snuggled up to their mama, smiles already on their faces.

When the movie had finished, your kids still wouldn't go to bed.

"Oh wait, I know why it isn't working - we don't have the pixie dust!" Flick pulled on your sleeve with a huge gap-toothed smile.

You had been watching as they jumped around the room. Lights flicked on, bodies flinging from one couch to another.

"I know! But ... we don't have any in the house..." You grumbled.

Paesha was staring dreamily at Peter Pan, a cheek resting against her face. "Where do we get some?" Her head turned slightly to look at you, her eyes nearly heart-shaped.

"Ugh-" god trying to keep childlike wonder alive was bloody difficult. Like a sign from the Universe, your phone started to ring.

All three kids ran over to it, knowing exactly who was calling at this time of night. Swiping the screen, four familiar faces popped up.

"Da! Papa! Dad! Daddy!" Smiling through the screen, the men had been just as eager to see their kids as their kids were to see them.

"Hello little munchkins, ya been good for mum?" Simon greeted first. His mask was off and no black could be found around his eyes. He never showed that side to the children.

"We're going to fly!" Flick chirped, her arms outstretched and running around.

"You're - what?" Price said with a slightly panicked face.

"But we need pixie dust," Malachai explained. Shaking his head like this was obvious information.

"I introduced them to the ... live action Peter Pan," you explained and a smile of regret grew on your tired face.

"Oh honey," Kyle replied, understanding the situation. He was the first of the men to.

"But we don't have any and we have to go buy more!" Pae said while leaning against you.

"Eh, pixie dust ...?" you heard Johnny mumble in the background.

"Oh! I have an idea!" You said with a faked expression, "why don't the Dada's get us the pixie dust!"

The chorus of cheers was heard throughout the house. Alerting the the tired Moth and Teddy.

Kyle shook his head. And Price's nose flared. Mum: 1 - Dads: 0.

"We'll bring back the goddamns finest," Simon said. You couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"See! You heard Dad! Now get your butts' upstairs and in bed."

"Yes ma'am!" They said in unison (a nickname they'd heard their father's use one too many times.)

Once the kids were upstairs, your face dropped.

"I miss you guys," you whispered into the phone. The tears welling and spilling down your cheeks.

"We miss you too," John said, his words strangled with his feelings.

It was always hard to hang up.

It hurt.

But tonight's farewell felt like the hardest. You could just imagine how the scenario would've played out if their father's were there with them. With you.

'Can't always get what we want,' you thought bitterly.

"Not long now," Kyle said. You stared at his eyes and then his lips. God how much you wanted to kiss him.

"You better make sure you bring back some fucking pixie dust or there'll be a riot."

"Aye, Laswell definitely knows someone-" Johnny replied, giving you a wink. "Miss you gorgeous." He always tried to uplift the mood. And it nearly always worked.

You fought out of your misery, knowing the four soldiers couldn't bear to see you upset. And as they said their goodbyes, you said so in return.

"We love you, our precious wife. We'll all be together soon."

[back2bluesidex]

Give Me A Taste - MYG (18+)

Pairing: Idol!Yoongi X Fem!Reader

Theme: PWP, SMUT, established relationship au

Wordcount: 1.3k+

Summary: Yoongi is down bad for you, he has been missing your taste crazily. Thanks to unexpected turns of events and a cancelled show, he can finally satiate his hunger for you.

Warnings: Titty fucking, yes, he fucks her tits, tit play (a bit), fingering, he cums on her chest, a heated make out, Unprotected sex (don't try this at home), NSFW!!

Minors are not allowed in this blog!!

A/N: It's been a minute since I have written anything for Mr. Min. so... here it is. also, this is an apology because I won't be able to update WDBHG this week. I'm so sorry.:(

You are trying your best to scrub off the burnt patch of your frying pan when you hear the door lock chiming its jovial sound. 

“What the –” muttering to yourself, you start peeling off the washing gloves from your hands. It’s only you and Yoongi who know the passcode of your shared home. You are inside the condo and Yoongi is out on a world tour still having three more weeks to come back home. So it’s definitely a trespasser, or worse, a burglar or a robber trying to break into your house. 

Your blood runs cold at the thought as you walk towards the door for taking a look at the doorbell screen. Your steps halt when you see your boyfriend putting off his shoes and slipping into home slippers. 

“Yoongi?” you whisper, your eyes fill with moisture at an instant. It’s been nearly three months since you last saw him, smelled his calming scent, traced his skin with your fingertips. You have been missing him crazily and a brief phone or video call a day does absolutely nothing to quench your thirst. 

“One of the shows got canceled due to extreme weather conditions, we have a week till the next one. So, we decided to rest for a bit.” Yoongi reasons in his usual calm voice, before you get to ask him. He comes to stand right in front of you as you keep on staring at him. 

“Oh. Have you-” 

“Are you just going to stare at me?” Yoongi cuts you off. His face is unreadable but his eyes are dark, which makes it hard for you to assume anything. 

“No, I-” 

You get cut off again but this time because Yoongi slams his lips onto yours, pinning you to the nearest wall. 

Your boyfriend is usually calm and collected but he becomes a beast when lust takes over his senses. 

He grabs your wrists with both of his hands, pinning those above your head as he presses his body on yours. 

He kisses you hungrily, as if trying to lavish your lips for all the times he was away from you. You kiss him back with just as much urgency. The make out session is so heated that it spreads heat all over your body, including your pussy that just started wetting your cotton panties. 

You realize Yoongi is on the same page when his semi hard bulge presses on your stomach. 

He bites down on your lower lip, pulling it with his teeth before leaving you fucked up with only kisses. 

Yoongi loves you. Oh hell! It will be underestimated to say that he just loves you. He is obsessed with you! He craves for you like a lunatic. He starves for you. 

This prolonged period of staying away from you has been taking a toll on him, that’s why he came rushing back to you as soon as he got the chance. 

He looks at you with hooded eyes, stares down at your swollen lips then at your perked nipples. Fuck! You look heavenly like this. He can’t wait to feel your warmth wrapped around his length.

“I’ve missed you,Y/N. I can barely control myself anymore.” Yoongi whispers as he latches his lips to your throat, placing soft and lingering kisses wherever he could reach. 

“You don’t need to control yourself, Yoongi. I am all yours. Do whatever you want. I am all yours.” You breathe out. Yoongi’s tight grip on your wrists arouses you by an impossible amount. 

“Yes baby. I am going to fuck you so good now. But before that.. Give me a taste? Will you?” Yoongi’s low voice sends a trail of goosebumps all over your body. You suddenly find an urge to shy away from him and his eyes which are currently boring in your chest, more precisely, your nipples.  

Yoongi finds it adorable the way you get a little shy whenever he asks for a taste of your tits. He loves your tits, he can never get enough of those and fucking your tits is one of his most favourite ways of ruining you. 

He leaves your hands and clutches at the rim of your oversized tshirt to pull it off of your body. His eyes turn even darker as soon as you are topless in front of him. 

He palms your tits for a few moments. You push your tits out to enjoy more of his touch by arching your back. Yoongi chuckles at your eagerness. 

“Guess you missed me too, darling?” he squeezes both of your tits at the same time to erect a soft contained sigh from your lips. 

“You have no idea how much.” you murmur while enjoying Yoongi’s rough hands on your soft supple flesh. 

His fingers find your nipples and he twists those to satisfy himself, “then you will let me fuck your titties today, won’t you?” 

“I will…” you voice somehow. 

Yoongi bends down and takes one of your nipples in his mouth. 

As soon as the bud is inside his mouth, he starts lapping it up with his saliva before sucking it hard. All of your breath is knocked out when he worries your nipple between his teeth, not quite biting it rather playing with it with practiced skills.  

One of your hands finds its way to his long dark hair, nails raking through his scalp, earning a moan from your boyfriend. Your other hand travels down to south, brushing through the rough material of his jeans, grabbing his bulge and rubbing it to satiate your burning need that has developed for him.  

Yoongi repeats his actions with your other nipple, arousing you more and more.  

You are far too gone with the pleasure to notice that Yoongi has smeared your chest with his saliva, seemingly preparing you tits to take his cock. 

“Should we head to the couch now?” he asks with his gentle yet low voice. You nod eagerly. 

He lifts you up effortlessly, carries you to the couch and lays you down. Swiftly removing the rest of your clothes and leaving you lying naked on the couch, he reaches for his own clothes. 

His cock springs out of his boxers, tall and proud and ready to fuck you. He smirks, feeling you eyeing him like the horny, hungry girl that you are. 

Yoongi climbs on top of you, places his knees on either side of you, and lines his cock in the middle of your tits. You squeeze your tits tightly to make a tight passage for your boyfriend’s greedy cock. 

His first thrust is a little messy, the head of his cock nudges you on your chin, painting your chin with his precum. 

The next thrusts are more stable and steady and soon you hear Yoongi groaning in pleasure. He is such a goner when it comes to your tits. You tighten your tits even more to rile him up. 

“B-Baby, ugh, Y/N! I will c-cum at this rate.” Yoongi whines. Your eyes roll back at the sensation of his cock being squeezed by your big tits. 

But you start seeing stars when you feel Yoongi’s fingers parting your folds and drawing tight circles on your clit. 

“Oh my– Yoongi” you fumble to make any coherent sentence. 

Arousal pools out of your hole and creates a mess down there.

Apparently, it’s too much for Yoongi to take in your fucked up state, your wetness on his fingers and your tits squeezing the hell out of his cock, all together. His dick starts twitching and before he could warn you, he is cumming all over your face, throat and chest. 

Your grip on your tits loosen as you bring your hand to wipe your face off. When your vision returns to you, you find Yoongi licking your juices off of his fingers while maintaining a steady eye contact with you. He definitely doesn’t look like someone who just cummed all over you. 

Repositioning himself, Yoongi lowers his head to the level of your cunt and chuckles in his breathy voice, “Next up is your pussy. Give me a taste, yeah?” 

And you know you are going to have a long day ahead.

Taglist:

@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @sukunabitch @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @chimmisbae

[emotionally-damaged-carrot]

Oscar Piastri x Male Reader

Losses

Sry for no updates, was a bit busy with stuff, but am here. Hope you lot enjoy, even if my writing is not what is used to be. Like Icarus, ambition leads to downfall.

Warning: might be sad

Enjoy!

I did not know the dierection I waa taking this in, I just went with the flow, hopefully it makes sense(?)

I look down at the casket where my mother lies, I was held by my dad so I could see.

"Is mommy going to wake up?"

"Not this time, Champ."

He said as he kissed the top of my head, my hair became wet as he trembled.

"Why?"

"She's going to live with God now, Y/n, and she will be waiting for us."

Our eyes met, mine filled with wonder and curiosity, childish whimsy. His wete full of sorrow and despair, akin to a world without light, it was dark, lifeless.

—

"Osc, please, what did I do?"

I asked him as I held his hand, trying to prevent him from walking away.

"It won't work out, Y/n."

"Why?"

"it just w-"

"But why? Was it something I did? Have you found someone else? Please, I need to know where you are going, I need to know you'll be safe, that I can that I- that you-"

My breathing became labored as I let go of his hand and sat down on the floor, struggling to breathe. When I let go of his hand, he immediately became concerned and turned to me, he squatted down.

"Are you okay?"

He asked but I couldn't speak, my breaths were shallow but it felt like it won't go out, my breathing was frantic and I became light headed.

"Come on, stay with me, breathe with me."

He said as he grabbed my hand and rested it over his chest so I could follow. I slowly began to calm down, but worry took over panic.

"P-please Osc, where?"

—

"Daddy?"

I looked down at the casket where my father lies, while I was held by my uncle.

"Is Daddy going to wake up?"

I asked my uncle.

"He's- uhmm, he won't."

"Why?"

"Because he is very tired, and he needs to rest up for some time."

"That's not what daddy told me when mommy went to live with God, Yestermonth."

"It's last month, Y/n, not yestermonth."

He broke down in tears, he struggled to wipe it off, as more kept flowing, like a hydra, the more heads to cut, the more head there will be.

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm sorry, Y/n, you're so young, you're so very young, you are 4 years old. Yet you lost more than most anyone your age."

He kissed the top of my head, my hair felt wet afterwards. It's like dad.

"Is Daddy with mommy?"

—

It's been a few days since Oscar left, he still didn't tell me where he went. But I see his social medias, he's with a girl.

"You moved on so quickly, while I hurt in the past you don't look back to. Silently hurting while you live your life, with your new future."

I said to my myself as I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Suddenly my phone rang, and I looked at the I.D, it was him and it was a video call.

"Hello?"

I said as I answered the call.

"Hey, I heard you were Oscar's ex."

The camera panned to a woman who was moving suspiciously and moans were heard.

"I am he, why?"

"Just wanted to rub in tour face how good I am pleasing him."

The camera switched from the front to the back. Showing a naked Oscar who had his eyes closed and his hands on her hips, he was moaning and groaning and started to move his hips up and down.

"Bye bitch."

She let out a moan before hanging up, when the call ended, I laid in bed my phone still in my hand, and I was feeling something, it wasn't jealousy, it wasn't anger, nor was it sadness. I ponder more as my face remained neutral, I was feeling something but I don't know what. I wanted to react, to thrash around and be violent, but I couldn't. Is this what being dead inside is like? Feeling something yet nothing at the same time. In limbo with emptiness and feeling everything.

—

"Hi."

I said to the guy who was sitting on a table all alone in a café that was full.

"Would you mind if I sit here?"

I said as I pointed to the seat infront of him.

"Be my guest."

He smiled at me, he was gorgeous, he was handsome, fit and has the folden retriever vibes. His smile was perfect, his hair a mess of beautiful brown hair that complimented him. I couldn't held but stare and analyze him as I sat down.

"Oscar, Oscar Piastri."

He reached his hand out, with a friendly smile.

"Y/n."

I shook his hand.

"You have nice hands."

"Thank you."

I said sheepishly as I let go of his hand but he didn't let go of mine. The barista called out my name and I got up, he let go of my hand too.

"I noticed your finger has a ring mark."

He asked as I sat back down with my order.

"I lost it, like 3 days ago."

I took a sip of my coffee.

"Good thing, you won't be losing me anytime soon."

—

"I guess we are all destined to lose a few things, but I didn't expect to lose parts of my life."

.

[agendabymooner]

ride home ! carlos s. x ofc (filipino!content creator!ofc)

“and my weary heart has come to rest in yours.”

summary: carlos sainz accidentally outed himself as a married man and his wife is filipino, which is quite ironic if you would look at the history between the two nations. OR mona magdalena was something of a surprise to the f1 world as she’s something of an… ordinary person. but the ferrari driver’s in love with her and that’s enough for anyone to understand.

content warning: established relationship, use of explicit language, unclear plot (intro to carlos sainz’ ofc wife), fluff, lando = knowing something you don’t, poorly translated comments, mentions cheating (no one did), connected to the alessandro/hearth universe (see masterlist)

note: there will be a translation to some of the words in this post (context: spain colonized philippines for 300 years and language/culture/practices were adapted from spain.)

this is a self-indulgent fic. a little bit of it i think. this came from my halo-halo homies’ asks and i was inspired to write. i should write some fernando alonso soon, no? enjoy xx

masterlist

liked by carlossainzjr, landonorris, zildbenitez

user1 CONGRATS MAMITAAAA

user2 welcome back to philippines magda!!

zildbenitez sex or chocolate? liked by monamagdalena

monamagdalena the city by the 1975

user3 i cant believe that you’re working a regular job in spain/england while you’re a whole ass celebrity in the philippines 😭 liked by monamagdalena

monamagdalena duality of a woman 😉

benandbenmusic gimmick sa’n? where should we hangout?

monamagdalena i want some inasal :)

benandbenmusic bet, meet u at the nearest mang inasal then 🫶

carlossainzjr y u so pretty cariño? liked by monamagdalena

carlossainzjr posted a story !!!

this story in unavailable

[translation: my wife should just quit her day job and come travel with me]

[translation: there’s no one i would yearn for more than you, my lovely lady.]

tagged monamagdalena

liked by charles_leclerc, blastersilonga, landonorris

user1 ok but why doesn’t she give wag vibes? did she ever attend any of his race?

user2 she doesn’t seem to be like his type tbh. why does she have a huge fanbase?

user3 bestie they’re married- what more can they do?

user4 she’s hella gorgeous

user5 i didn’t even know who carlos was until now :’] magda really chose the perfect one 😭

user6 welcome to the pits of hell we call f1. ferrari’s at the deepest depth - carlos drives for ferrari

user7 y’all btches blind if you don’t see the heart eyes carlos is giving her

user8 he’s so in love i wish that were me

landonorris ok but i’m rooting for you two though 🥲 liked by carlossainzjr and monamagdalena

monamagdalena thanks, lando! i’m also rooting for us :)

monamagdalena you’re the best partner to have existed. mahal kita sobraaaaaa ❤️ i love you soooo much liked by carlossainzjr

carlossainzjr see you soon cariño ❤️

user8 she really said “colonizing his heart” 😭

user9 who cooks better though?

carlossainzjr her because she grew up with a single mother only and they always make the best cuisines - lena taught me how to cook most filipino dishes

monamagdalena most filipino dishes that NEED to be paired with rice 🥲 i get so lonely having to eat rice by myself at times

landonorris you should have me over so we can eat rice together

monamagdalena you betcha. i’ll be making you dinner like it’s a filipino birthday party lando!

user10 now THAT is the dream 😩 imagine being so sweet that you’d make your husband’s mate some roast pans full of filipino food and pull up the karaoke ughhh so mother of u

bonus !!!

translation

mahal / irog = terms of endearment, “love”

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

More voice line posting! Because I like digging them up and I always want to see/hear more of Isobel.

At some point you were able to have Isobel join your camp by herself even after letting Shadowheart kill Aylin - a game state that's no longer possible, as Aylin's death means Last Light falls, too. But all the voice lines and dialogue trees are still there. I haven't had a chance to try, but manually messing around with the "SHA_Nightsong_State_PermaDefeated" flag might be able to get these lines to trigger.

Here are some highlights (and transcripts) from the Moonrise reunion and the camp conversation that we now only see the "take care of my angel" branch of.

Isobel: You did it. I knew you would. Player: Yet you don't seem glad. Isobel: Oh, I am. It's a momentous day. I suppose I need to catch my breath or the momentum will outpace me.

Player: What will you do now that your father's gone? Isobel: Oh, I don't know. Change my hair colour. Buy a horse. [Curse was lifted] Isobel: In seriousness, I intend to help you fight the Absolute - what lies behind the Absolute, that is. Isobel: None of us will be safe until that looming horror is defeated. When the time comes, I'll fight at your side.

[Curse wasn't lifted] Isobel: In seriousness, my home needs me. It's still enveloped in Shar's horrific curse. If it can be cleansed, I'll find a way. Isobel: But I admit that plays second fiddle to helping you. None of us will be safe until the horror behind 'the Absolute' is defeated. When the time comes, I'll fight at your side.

Player: Why wait? Isobel: To be perfectly frank, I'm exhausted. It feels a bit as though I've been dropped into another dimension. Isobel: A little time to rest and reflect, and I'll be ready to go at it anew. What say you? Player: It's not over yet. A nautiloid is on its way to Baldur's Gate. Isobel: Gods. One day, you go to sleep and everything's square. Then you wake up, and it's a dodecahedron. With tentacles.

-

You could also talk about Aylin specifically. If you were feeling particularly horrible, you could lie and convince Isobel she could still find and save her beloved. Presumably, however you played this, she would leave your camp either hating you or trying to save Aylin - which is a bit similar to how the Act 3 Lorroakan betrayal pans out.

Player: Aylin - do you mean Nightsong? Isobel: Nightsong? What do you mean?

Player: Ketheric captured her and was using her to fuel his invulnerability. She was called the 'Nightsong'. Isobel: She... what?! Does this mean she's still alive? I've got to find her - set her free! Tell me everything you know. Please.

Player: It's too late for that. She was dead when I found her. [Roll Deception] [Roll succeeded] Isobel: My father said she was gone. I'd tried to make peace with it. But... she was so special. So very dear. Isobel: When we met, it was like a lightning strike. My father wasn't sure about us - she was immortal, after all - but I never doubted. [Roll failed] Isobel: Liar. Wicked, wicked liar. Murderer.

Player: Give me your map. I'll show you where she's being kept. [Roll Performance] [Roll failed] Isobel: You're lying. She can't be saved, can she? My father told me she was... gone. It's true, isn't it? Isobel: Why would you lie? What's the matter with you? [Roll succeeded] Isobel: Thank you - thank you so much. I'll gather some supplies and head out shortly. Aylin... I can't believe she's alive. Before the day's end, I'll have her in my arms. Incredible.

Isobel: I hope Aylin's alright. I can't wait to have her in my arms again.

Player: Never mind. Isobel: As I was saying, I fell in love with Aylin swiftly. It was as easy as breathing.

Player: That's what Ketheric and his chums called her. Killed her myself. / It's too late for that. I killed her. Isobel: You what?! But she was immortal. How could she... how could you...? She is the Moonmaiden's daughter. And you call yourself a Selûnite?!

Player: It was the only way to make Ketheric vulnerable. Isobel: Was it? Was it truly? I don't believe that. Not for a second.

Player: Shar got the better of me. It won't happen again. Isobel: Oh it won't? Then I suppose we'll just forget this little misstep, file it under 'lessons learned'?

Player: It was a mistake. One I bitterly regret. Isobel: I should hope so. I can't imagine what insane course of thought led you to murder someone so dear. Isobel: Get out of my sight before I do something you'll regret.

Player: When the Lady of Loss speaks, her faithful act on her behalf. Isobel: You're disgusting. You've killed someone so precious, so good. I knew Shar was wicked. But I'd hoped for better from you.

Player: I couldn't hold my companion back. She had a mission to fulfil. Isobel: A mission? A mission?! That Sharran murderer destroyed someone so precious, so good...

[storkmuffin]

Hi again! I’m the anon that asked if you could elaborate about the Jongho statement. Thanks for taking the time to explain! In addition to your bullet point about how Seonghwa doesn’t mind the term ‘wife’, have you seen how he’s openly accepting of being called ‘mom’ or ‘mommy’? I really love how Seonghwa doesn’t fall into the stereotypical traits of masculinity. I find his mentality of just doing him like wearing whatever he wants now to be one of the many reasons I love him! Do you think he would ever come out or make an announcement about being queer? This is totally getting into just my own personal thoughts but I get mixed feelings with Seonghwa where I think he is queer or if he’s just more in tune with his feminine side. What do you think?

OK so this is where being a Korean person in Korea who is fluent in English and well versed in American pop culture (up to a point) hits a limit. I actually don't understand what you guys are doing when you do the whole 'mommy' and 'mother' thing. The cultural position of Mother in Korea is completely asexual , and self-abnegating in the Giving Tree style - she is the one who sacrifices, who care-takes, who suffers in silence, is all accepting and never critical. (Personally this is why I think so many of us Korean women are refusing to become mothers, bc this role fucking sucks as defined.)

But when you guys say Mother - it means something else, doesn't it? So if Seonghwa is happy to hear it, maybe he understands what you're getting at?

In any case, I think he's actually queer and that's why he is willing to show himself in touch with his feminine side. You can have a gentle and soft persona off-stage, and many many many Korean boy idols absolutely cultivate exactly that image, without going over into being actually as feminine or queer as Seonghwa has done.

Moreover, to be super cynical about this, it's a pretty clever marketing strategy for someone who wants to have a long term show business career when his home base is Korean women. Because Korean culture is so confrontational, energetic and competitive, us tired modern women are desperate for the relaxing, the harmless, the soft, and the gentle in men. Being able to present yourself as the super-handsome, wild-on-stage man who, off-stage, in a fantasy version of 'real life,' is at heart a fastidious, soft-spoken good girl just like you? ABSOLUTE CATNIP. Also, so smart! It helps him differentiate himself from the rest of his group too, who tend to stay within established masculine roles. Wooyoung dancing in a skirt or Yeosang being very pretty isn't the same as being feminine, to me.

This isn't what you asked, but I will also add: Seonghwa puts on the 'soft spoken' voice which isn't his actual speaking voice. Wooyoung, who is irrepressible and competitive, has expertly imitated the 'muted' voice effect that Seonghwa does when speaking to Atiny in one of their behind the scenes things right after Seonghwa said something, asking' Why can't you just talk using your normal voice?' for example. Wooyoung exposed him on the spot like that, because he knows it's very seductive to Korean women lol.

OH and - you actually asked this - do I think he'll ever come out? And actually announce like, hi, I'm gay/bi/pan and this is my boyfriend? I mean, it doesn't seem likely, but if you know anything about Korea, you'll know that when we experience a shift, the shift is abrupt, fast and complete. So I wouldn't rule it out, but I will say - I feel myself to be living in very mainstream Korean middle class society, and I work for a very big corporation, I live in Seoul, and I don't know a single out person from work, school, social network, or church in my real life. It's a chicken and egg thing, but I do think that until more ordinary, every day queer people can come out, and like date in public like straights do, people who need to stay on the right side of public opinion, like idols and actors, wouldn't be ok coming out until the 'main' time of their career is over.

[thewritingofspencerrose]

Mistakes Made

Travis Kelce x OC

I've gone to stay with Jason and the girls. When you've decided you're ready to talk, you know where to find me.

Those words weren't the first thing to trigger Travis to the fact that he had fucked up.

The first was when he had left without a response on Friday, but he had assumed she would reach out and they would fix things.

The second was the night before the game. There was no facetime, no call, nothing to soothe the amount he was missing her.

The third was when he only got a single text from her during the week he was gone, on Sunday just before the game, and it was only five words. Good luck, I love you.

He had realized immediately how badly he had fucked up. But not for a moment did he want to recognize that.

"You are the biggest asshat I have ever had the displeasure of knowing."

"Jason-"

"Who do you think you are showing up at my front door?" It's Kylie this time, still wiping her hands on a towel from the kitchen but her expression is anything but the image of kind housewife that the rest of her is portraying. "After what you did to Dorthy, you have the audacity to show your face?"

"Ky," Is all he can manage to mumble, every ounce of exhaustion clear in his whole body. "I'm here to fix things, not to fight with you or Jason."

"You shouldn't have left yourself with something to apologize for Trav," Jason is the one to offer as advice, letting him into the entry. "Thea showed up to the house sobbing with an overnight bag on Friday and Ky couldn't even get the reason for your fight out of her until yesterday."

"I fucked up, I know that."

"Your girlfriend told you she was pregnant with your child and you walked out of the house without a word. You more than fucked up Travis," Kylie corrects, the end of her scolding being punctuated with soft giggles from another room.

"What are the girls doing up so late?" Travis asks, knowing the sound of his nieces giggles by heart. "I thought they had a bedtime of 8:30?"

"Dorthy and the girls are making your mom's cookie recipe," Kylie answers, moving her body out of his path to the kitchen, the three adults entering to a sight that would bring smiles to anyones face.

But the sight only made Travis want to cry.

Because there was the love of his life, wearing his sweatshirt with his middle niece on her hip, the new tightness of the sweatshirt and little girl's leg accentuating the woman's baby bump.

How far along did she say she was again?

His oldest niece is beside them on a stool, scooping the cookie batter onto the pan of they all dance around to music.

It's so domestic, and it's something that he and she will have in their futures. If he can fix this.

"Wyatt, Elliotte, come with me to get ready for bed and Auntie will put the cookies in the oven. Daddy and I will even let you come back down to have cookies with Auntie and Uncle when they're done," Kylie promises, the little girls being helped down and hugging their aunts legs, doing the same to their uncles' on the way out of the room, chasing each other up the stairs.

"Jas, come on, give the two a minute," Kylie instructs, tugging on my brother-in-law's arms, a soft smile being shot my way as they leave the room.

And now it's just Trav and I, the man who's presence I hadn't noticed until Ky took the kids.

"Hi," Is the only greeting I can manage, tucking the cookies into the oven for the girls before wrapping my arms around myself.

"How did I not notice this before?" He asks in a response, feet carrying him in long strides over to me. His eyes are trained on my stomach the entire time, until his eyes catch mine, "May I?"

"Trav, you've touched everywhere on my body, I don't know why you're asking now," I mumble, but this just seems to insult him.

"We haven't talked in a week Baby, I don't deserve to touch you, prior or not," He whispers, and I can feel the tears coming to my eyes.

"You can," I approve, his hands meeting my stomach, rounding over his sweatshirt to see the true size of the bump.

"How have I not noticed you were growing our little bean in there?" His tears slipping down his face. "I'm so sorry for walking out. I didn't know how to process the information, but that was no excuse to just walk out. I should have celebrated you, I should have celebrated our baby. And instead I walk out for a fucking football game." He scoffs.

I hate that he's crying. Argument or not. He's apologizing and I just hate that he's upset.

Taking the pads of my thumbs, I rub the tears from his eyes, taking his hands from my sides and into my own.

"Actually, she's about the size of an artichoke these days," I correct, chuckling lightly in an attempt to soften the sadness. "And it's ok. I mean, it's not, it really tore me apart thinking you didn't want our baby, but I should have told you sooner. Just with practice and games and -"

"You're not allowed to apologize when I'm the one who did wrong, Baby," He interrupts, a bright smile breaking out on his lips as he pulls me closer to his body by my hips. "So we're having a little girl?"

"I'm convinced your family can't result in boys," Kylie's voice chimes from the doorway, her and Jason standing wrapped in each other's arms. "I mean, this is four for four on kids that is going to be a girl."

"Speaking of," Travis starts, looking between all of us, "Do the girls know?"

"We're having a baby cousin!!" Wy cheers, bursting into the room with Elliott hot on her tail.

"Does this whole family just eaves drop and bust in?" I can't help but question, because this is just wild.

"We do, you should be used to this Kid," Jason confirms, Wyatt and Elliott joining Trav and I in a little hug.

"You girls know about your little cousin?" Trav asks, smiling as he crouches next to the two.

Ellie just nods, but it's her sister who answers.

"Yeah, Daddy said it will make Grammy love you more."

"That's it, I'm calling Mom!"

[thesolaireslawyer]

Chamomile Daisies

{TW: Curs1ing, Lasko's rants- um.. candle wax.. uh- Lasko gets called airhead like quite a few times honestly- he also gets called airboi huxley and Damien being too cute- ( voice mails ) A tiny bit of yelling (the word murdered) Guy, an unhealthy amount of knowledge about pizza I'm not kidding... and finally I'm not a great writer.. but I'm trying and learning lmfao- Gavin doing freelancers voice mail(do what you want with that information )- I threw in some guy and honey- the blue is Lasko's rambles }

this got very long for some reason

WC: 2022

This is one of the dumbest things you could think of Lasko. And I mean dumb- like it isn’t even scientifically proven to help you with your rambling.. Well, you can’t say that because every person is different... So what affects you could also not affect the rest of the population.. And empowered and unempowered are different entirely so could DNA have anything to do with it? And I'm doing it again..all fuck it I’ll get to 2 of them. 

  Lasko makes his way over to the cashier, maybe this could work. God, he’d hoped it’d work. The first date was already fucked up..he didn’t want to mess up the second one. He pays and walks out of the store. His place was right around the corner.. Maybe the candles weren’t necessary... But Lasko wanted to make sure nothing went wrong this time. 

               Just thinking about what happened at Max’s made him drop his keys. Damnnit bending down to pick them up. He groaned at the thought of a repeat because of anxiety.. Lasko pushed the thought aside and placed the candles on the tabletop. Where did he put his clothes for the night? The airhead sighed and walked into his room. Going through the mess on the floor. Was that it? No, that’s not dark enough to cover stains.. That's not it.. No.. no.. no..no.. YES, that's it!  Lasko smiled as he pulled up a light turquoise heavy shirt! Unbuttoning his grey work shirt, with the same small smile on his face.. Maybe with the help of these candles, he could stop being so nervous and have a nice date with his dear.

Wait what would be the most effective way to burn the candles? Maybe he could melt them down in a pan well.. Rather a heatproof container… let's be real here he’s not gonna wanna clean that... Like you, how annoying would it be? Scraping the sides.. just sounds like too much work. It could stop with burning you know? Perhaps.. What would be the other method.. I could try a microwave.. Of course, I’d have to cut them in half… they're pretty long candles after all… I was thinking to myself.. Did I ever think about what scent I bought..? What if it smells bad?? Dear god, what am I gonna do fuck.. shit .. mother fuc-.. 

Lasko began buttoning his shirt over his white t-shirt. He walked out of his room, walking to the dryer. Now that he was actually in the kitchen and laundry room. He could try on his pants or well put them on he already knew they could fit. Now that he was dressed ( a few hours in advance ). He grabbed a pan, and a heat-proof container (a small one), and he finally opened the bag and looked at the candle. 

Chamomile Daisies that seem like a nice smell.

Didn’t dear say how much they loved the smell of flowers? Or was it the morning dew smell on the flowers? Was that just a them thing or it is because they a water elemental? I mean they never really said anything about liking flowers.. Did I miss something? Wait have they ever dropped any information about liking flowers..? Should I get some flowers? Just in case.. Maybe I should text them.. ? NO surprises are better.. Right? Actually no. The last time I did that I was completely soaked in water… alright.. Pants on.. Stove on..now.. Should I put some Oil in there? No.. I don’t want to clean the pot more than I already have to. 

As the airhead watched and waited for the candles to melt. His phone rang. It was dear.. Why were they calling? What was going on..? WERE THEY CALLING TO STAY THEY CANCELED?  No silly Lasko. LASKO PICK UP THE PHONE DAMMIT! Right. Right, answer the phone! 

‘’ Hey Dearie! I was just checking up on you! ‘’

D-d-dearie?! That’s new!? 

‘’ H..Hey Dear-r! I'm doing fine! ‘’ 

‘’That's great to hear! I can’t wait to see you, I just wanted to make sure you’re not overworrying… you’re not right? ‘’ Dear asked waiting to hear his response 

‘’ y..y-y-..yea! I'm o-..okay! N-..not worry-ying! A-at all! ‘’ his voice was a dead giveaway. Dear sighed on the other end of the phone. ‘’

'' Dearie..no..Lasko please don’t worry yourself too much.. Alright?’’ 

‘’ right.. I..-I’ll try..my dearest..’’ Lasko looked at the boiling pot on the stove.. The wax was red with light blue accents.

‘’ Lasko? You there?.. Lasko…?? LASKO!! ‘’

Dear’s yell caught poor Lasko off guard. He dropped his phone and in that moment our dearest Lasko forgot that he was an air elemental or at least for the right objects. See he used his magic to catch his phone just before it hit the stove? Wait, where was the candle wax? As Lasko looked up. Dear still on the phone trying to get his attention he saw the pot of wax fly in the air. And practically in slow motion watched it fall landing on the counter, wall, and the floor it also landed on his shirt…His shirt!?. Wait.. his.. His.. his what..HIS FUCKING SHIRT! SHIT..SHIT..SHIT.. THAT’S NOT GOOD

‘’ HEY DEAR I..-ILL C-..C-CALL YOU B-BACK! ‘’ as much as the poor airhead wanted to answer his Dear’s questions. He hit the red button faster than normal. 

Good job Lasko.. Now Dear is more than likely upset with me. And now I have to deal with all this wax. I knew I shouldn't have brought those damn candles! But No.. Lasko wanted to be calm..But NOOO Lasko wanted to do this and that!.. Goddamnit.. I’m like this because I wanted our second date to be better than the first one.. Fuck.. maybe…perhaps freelancer.. Would have any idea of removing wax..from he looks around everything.. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm.. Afraid my deviant..~ can’t make it to the phone right now~~ They’re busy at the moment.~~ But please.. Leave a message..~ make it worthwhile..~~ 

‘’ hey Freelancer.. When you get the chance.. Could you um.. Call me back.. i .. m-..may or m-..m-may not have gotten.. W-wax on my c-clothes.. ..f-f..or my date.. Please ca-call back! ‘’ 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry Dames! Huxley Just record the voicemail, please!.. Right, right! Sorry Dames and I can’t come to the phone- Leave a message and Dames and will get back to you! HUXLEY IT'S YOUR PHONE!! An-  

‘’ Hey Huxley.. Um- whenever you g-g…get the chance.. Could you um.. Call me back..I need some help..I may have or hav..have n-..not gotten wax.. everywhere..? ‘’ 

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s Daimen. I'm afraid I can’t answer the phone.. Leave a message.. Not a long one.

‘’ o-oh.. Straightforward.. U-uh… um. I- I need some h-help with a.. Waxy situation.. ‘’ 

~~~~~~~~

Well as another hour passed, no one seemed to get back with him, well Damien sent him a text about wondering what he meant by straightforward. Lasko tried to explain it.. But Damien didn’t understand how it happened.. But tried his best, to help.. Thanks to his help he got the dried wax off. But the shirt itself was stained.. The red on the shirt made him wanna cry. Red is already a hard color to get out of clothes, and his shirt being blue did not help.. Honestly, it looked like he murdered someone- not the point! He frowned and picked up his phone again. Dialed a number and sighed..it rang once.. Then twice and then eventually someone picked up. 

‘’ Lasko what happened earlier!? You hung up so fast..I thought I did something- ‘’  Dear sounded sorrowful and it hurt Lasko a little. ‘’ No dear, you do anything.. I.. may..have messed something up.. ‘’ that last part left the Airbois mouth almost inaudibly.

‘’ messed what up Lasko? ‘’ it was dear’s turn to be concerned

‘’ Well..I wanted today’s date to go smoothly and not a repeat of what happened at Max’s..’’ dear cringed at the thought.

‘’ yes..what happened..? ‘’ 

‘’ a-and.. we..ll I heard- ab-about.. the-these..ca-calming c-candles..an..d ki-kinda.. Spilled.. The w-wax.. Ev-everywhere.. in-.. Including the-..the shirt.. F-for t-tonight..’’ Lasko managed to stutter out. 

‘’ Lasko.. Dear.. y-you did…wh-at..? ‘’ dear said holding in snickering

‘’ Are you laughing right now!? ‘’ Lasko seemed more shocked than surprised. 

‘’ AHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAHA Lasko im sorry! I-..Just.. I ‘’ Dear could barely hold in their laughs. And Lasko entirely lost his nerve and decided to join in the laughing. 

‘’Lasko.. Listen I’ll cancel the plans and you can just come over here.. ‘’ Dear says small giggles in their sentence. 

‘’ Dear! I couldn’t just, didn’t that.. Like I already messed up the first date and now I'm ruining another one! And I just don’t think it’s fair.. That you have to cancel our plans- ‘’ Lasko attempted to ramble on but dear interrupted him. 

‘’ Lasko Dearie.. I love.. That you don't want to quote on quote to ruin another date.. But I just want to spend my time with you.. So come over and bring the shirt.. ‘’ though Lasko couldn’t see his dear’s face he knew they were smiling.. And smiling hard. 

‘’ fine.. I’ll be over in a few ‘’ Lasko responded.. Giving in. Perhaps this is better than embarrassing himself at another restaurant.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And I know I feel so bad because I ruined our first and now the second date! I just don’t know how I let this happen. Dear, I feel so bad.. Like really bad.. Maybe I shouldn’t have come over.. Look Dear, I'll just put the shirt in the wash and I..i- Lakso stops mid-sentence losing his train of thought.. His dear looked so nice.. They always looked nice whether it was nice clothes or just a plain T-shirt and shorts. Like what they were wearing now, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. 

‘’ well, Dearie! Your shirt is in the wash! I used a little magic to make sure the bleach didn’t ruin the whole shirt. ‘’ his dear smiled pulling out their phone. 

Lasko rubs the back of his neck, chucking ‘’ well I could leave once it's washed.. ‘’ Dear glared back at Lasko.. Scarying the power airboi- ‘’ w..w-w.well..i-i..cou-could..j–just s-stay! ‘’ Lasko stuttered out.

‘’ well good! I'm ordering some pizza for the night.. Lasko was a little nervous, but for once his poker face held. Theirs no way it could be the same waiter from before right?

~~~~~~

‘’ hey the pizzas here! Do you wanna go get it? ''Dear looked at Lasko with puppy dog eyes. As if begging him to get the pizza. Lasko wondered who taught them that as he went to open the door. 

{ Lasko is about ramble about the preparation of pizza feel free to skip- }

It. Was. The. Same. Guy.         

  Fuck

‘’ um.. Order for a D- oh.. It’s you- ‘’ guy started with a faint laugh

‘’ Y-Yea.. Haha me woo! ‘’ Lasko was losing him as he grabbed the box of pizzas. 

Did you know pizza could be sold fresh? HAh.. it’s a really funny process actually.. You can even get it whole or portion slices. Though the methods vary. That and have been developed to overcome challenges! Like preventing the sauce from combining with the dough! Because who the hell wants soggy pizza am I right?? HAhah, dealing with eh crust is another hard thing to deal with! Like the methods had to change often because the crust… could become rigid and who wants that? Not me and I'm sure not you! H-h-ha that’s even if you like pizza- l-..like a lot of people who work at their job d-d..-don’t like what they do..l-l-l..like there are a lot of things i..-I don’t like about my job but..but it’s a job you-..you know.. Haha?  

Dear taking notice of the situation.. Giggling a little and going to interrupt Lasko and the pizza guy. 

‘’Lasko go put the pizza on the counter please. ‘’ lasko sighed in relief before disappearing into the other room. 

‘’ sorry bout that- here take this for your troubles..’’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘’ HONEY GUESS WHAT I GOT TODAY!!!! ‘’ Honey turned around to greet their very happy lover tonight.. ‘’ Yes Guy ‘’ 

‘’ I GOT A 150$ DOLLAR TIP ‘’ honey nearly spit out their drink

(@laskosprettygirl this is the Fic.. I hope it was worth the wait- )

once again my Adhd brain made this take harder than it needed to- I hope this lives up to expectations! and have a good day or night!

[reashot]

After Fall + Lancaster

Jaune: H-hey are you okay. Do you need me to take you to the doctor?

Ruby: J-Jaune what are you... I mean why do you looks so young!?

Jaune: Uh you feeling okay? I mean I'm always been young. And how do you know my name?

Ruby: Jaune stop kidding around! What happened to me after I drunk the tea? Are we still in the ever after? And where is that fu***** Cat!?

Jaune: W-wait a moment. Tea? Ever after? And what Cat are we talking about?

The only thing I can answer is that we're in Beacon and I actually just enroll here so I can't tell you about this place. I'm sorry.

Ruby: You just enroll here... But that's impossible. Beacon is gone...

No way... T-this is impossible. Where - I mean, when are we?

Jaune: Okay... I think you might hit your head a little too hard after that explosion. Don't worry I will help you find the academy infirmary. Oh I know you already know my name but let me introduce myself anyway. My name is Jaune Arc. Short, sweet, rolls of the tongue....

Ruby: Ladies loves it...

Jaune: Uh... Have we met somewhere before?

Ruby: .... No. I'm sorry but I think I really did hurt my head so bad. I'm Ruby by the way. (*grabs Jaune's hand*)

Jaune: (*pulls Ruby up*) Then we better find the infirmary. To have you checked.

Ruby: Oh no, please there's no need. As you can see I'm completely fine now. I'm just a bit dazed after the dust explosion... Me being a dumb "Crater Face" and all. 😋

Jaune: You shouldn't called yourself "Crater Face." That would have been if I called myself "Vomit Boy" because I pu... Oh! You were at the Bullhead when I puked all over the ship! I'm so sorry for puking next to you.

Ruby: Oh you don't have to apologize. Motion sickness after all is a lot more common than we realize. 😊

Jaune: I know right! I can't believe there's no motion sickness pill inside the Bullhead. That's just asking for trouble if you ask me. I'm surprised that there isn't more people puking on the ship.

Ruby: (He's such a dork😏) Jaune this might seem to come out of nowhere, but do you want to be my friend? 🥺

Jaune: Sure after all stranger are friend you haven't met yet. That's what my mom said anyway.

Ruby: (I knew he would say that. Oh Jaune why did I never have the courage to pursue you back during the Academy.😞) Thank you (*hugs Jaune*) 🥰

Jaune: Oh. Usually I don't mind when a cute girl is hugging me. But isn't it all too fast?

Ruby: (He called me cute!!! I knew it, I knew he likes me! 😫) Didn't you said that stranger are just friend you haven't met? And Jaune you can pat my head if you want. 😘

Jaune: I guess I did say that...

Ruby: Eh, he, he. I'm never letting you go Jaune... (Never...)

Jaune: Oh stop kidding around Ruby. We have to find the rest of students.

Ruby: No need. I know where they are. How about we take our time before we meet the rest of them? There's some place I want to take you to.

Jaune: Uh okay, I mean you seems to know more about this place than me so lead on Ruby.

Ruby: (Yes! I'm finally going to go on a date with Jaune. Don't worry Jaune I will make sure things are right this time. I will make sure you never have to lose anyone ever again. I'll save Pyrrha, Penny and everyone. Maybe I start by killing Cinder first... He, he, he. Oh I can't wait to see the look on that bitch's face as I behead her. Oh and maybe I'll help with Jaune's training too. That way he can be the hero he always wanted and I don't have to be alone. Oh the possibility are endless. 😈)

C'mon let me show you around the academy....

The scene pans out as Ruby drags Jaune by his arm to show him what Beacon has to offer.

[the-ace-of-arrows]

I don't truly experience anything

- a poem of some sort, I suppose

aromantic - I've never felt this thing that others say define us as human.

this feeling that in media seems to be the one feature that qualifies an alien or a robot as owning a soul

this one feeling that everyone seems so obsessed over

the thing behind the curtains of everything

the thing that surely, no one could ever live without, right?

I've never been with a person, thinking about how I'd love to spend the rest of my life with them and them alone

I've thought I might have, several times, with my closest friends, the ones I feel comfortable around

but it's not the same

it's not how others describe it

I've never wanted to kiss anyone

the closest I've come to romantic love is platonic

but if it is

if it turns out I'm pan- and polyromantic

if I've only ever experienced romantic love, and never platonic

then I'm still one form of love short from everyone else

I'm still less

asexual - I've never wanted intimacy the way others seem to.

I've never seen a person and felt anything like what people have described

I've never been able picture myself in a sexual setting, and I've certainly never enjoyed it when I've tried

I've never experienced an orgasm, not even sure I could if I tried

I've never felt the need to do anything of the sort

I've felt the want to, sure, but even then, not really

because I've never wanted it for it, I've wanted it to feel included

I've wanted to know what everyone else seem to revolve their life around

I wanted to understand, and to stop being so alien to the people around me whenever I just don't understand something

agender - I don't understand it

really, it just doesn't make any sense to me

never has, and tbh I just thought we'd all agreed to just go with it, because that's what everyone else did

I've never felt like a girl

I've never felt like a boy

I have yet to understand what this "feeling" is supposed to feel like

I'm me

just me

my body exists, sure

and I guess it's keeping me alive, so I'll try not to damage it too much

but it has never really meant any more than that in any way that means anything

it's a house

and you can decorate it to your choosing

and sometimes you'd like to move, but then you look at the housing market at the moment and decide that actually

the house I have now isn't that bad

and of course, you can't tear down a load bearing wall, the whole house would collapse

but otherwise, do whatever you want with what you've got, and you'll be good.

I guess in that sense I've kind of seen trans people as claustrophobic people stuck in a small attic-appartment without windows

the housing market is still horrible, and so they start by making modifications

make a window

let the air in

maybe even make a terrace on the roof out the window

doing what make them feel better

and if that so means I'll have to stop calling their house and attic, because they've expanded so much it's really a proper house now, then sure, I'll change the mailing address, why not?

agnostic - I say agnostic, but really I'm just afraid to say atheist

because I've never been able to believe

I don't even think I've ever really grasped the concept properly

but I want to

I really really do

I want to believe that there's some higher power out there

that there's someone looking out for us

taking care of us

I so badly want that comfort that others seem to get from talking into the void and somehow still feeling heard

but I don't know how

belief is such an amazing thing

belief is unconditional trust, something I'd almost call stronger than unconditional love

it's trusting that someone else will do good without any guarantee beforehand

and yet even when it comes to my closest friends, I can't do it

because I only actually believe in them if I've seen proof of it before, and that's not belief, it's a conditional trust

and I'm so incredibly jealous of the ones who are able to do so

I wish I was religious

a human - ahuman

I sometimes don't think I'm human

and I it

so much

because these are the things that everyone else call "reasons to live"

these are the traits that everyone says define what it means to "be human" or "be alive"

and so if I don't

if I never experience the reasons to live

if I never experience what it is to be human

if I never experience the essentials of being alive

then what am I?

I have no reason to live, so I'm meaningless

I'm not a human, so I'm alien

I'm not alive, so I'm dead

I'm a meaningless alien, dead to the world and to myself

a non-human, walking around with no purpose or light

a nothing

existing in the background

and even then, not really existing either

because what is existence without purpose or life?

a - the greek prefix for no, and the letter that seems to pursue my very being

a-being

a-thing

no-thing

I'm nothing

I'm nothing, wanting everything

staring at the rest of the world as if through the pages of a book that I'm doomed to only ever read and never experience myself

I hate it

I'm jealous

I want what everyone else has

And I'm crying

Somehow

I'm crying

because even with all the everything that I just seem doomed to never feel

for some reason the universe never thought to add sadness to that pile

[bed-chemist]

❝i got cake and i know he want a slice.❞

read the rest of the series before this chapter or you’re getting spoilers.

A/N: we're back, barbies! i successfully survived midterms so now I can breathe!! i've been working on this all week and tomorrow i promise, i'll work on my requests. a lot of y'all have been in my comments and reposts with pitchforks because joel didn't kiss ginny yet and all i have to say is, same babes. i don't make the rules (yes i do) i just enforce them. this isn't edited so ignore any mistakes. please leave feedback in the comments ★ ˙ᵕ˙ liv

Chapter Summary: the sweetest baker enlists joel to help her volunteer at ellie's school.

Chapter Warnings: language, alcohol, slight age gap (F!MC and Joel are 6 years apart), racial descriptions (tommy says black girls are his type basically), symptoms of anxiety and depression, lmk if i forgot something.

Series Tags: chef! Joel, single! father Joel, no outbreak! Joel Miller, slow burn, dual-pov, fluff, flirting, friendship, eventually established relationship, eventual smut, original character, black!fem!MC, no y/n.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ series masterlist, joel masterlist ⋆ spotify playlist ˖ ݁ 𖥔.

“Taste this,” I demand Joel, shoving the spoon of icing towards his mouth.

Joel stops stacking the plastic plates, looking down at the utensil. “What did you say?” he asks with scrunched eyebrows.

I shake the fork impatiently. “Try,” I demand. He looks at me skeptically before leaning forward and taking a bite of the warm sugary liquid.

His mouth moves slowly as tastes. “Mmmhm, that’s good,” he compliments.

I want to put my hands up to hide the blush that’s inevitably covering my face right now. But I don’t want Joel to notice my reaction. “Thank you. I tweaked the recipe last week,” I say quickly, turning around so I’m not facing him.

“That’s why I’m here,” I hear Joel say.

Shaking my head, I pour the icing over the cakes. “No, you’re here because I didn’t want to be the only one working the booth today,” I defend myself.

“You would’ve called someone else,” Joel points out.

My shoulders rise with my eyebrows. “You’re probably right,” I conceded.

I enlisted Joel to do a booth with me instead of having two separate booths. Neither of us wanted to pull staff from the floor but still wanted to participate for Ellie’s sake. The two of us could handle it, with the help of some friends.

Joel and I mirror each other's movements in the kitchen. He makes sure the COVID-safe fall fest meals are ready and me adding something sweet into the mix. The hum of Taylor Swift plays in the background and I catch Joel slightly humming to ‘Welcome to New York.’ A snicker involuntary leaves my throat and I shove it down, hoping he didn’t pick up on it.

Once my job is done, I allow the dishes to clatter in the sink. The worst part about baking is the prep and the cleaning and I don’t have the energy for that right now. 

“Hello?” Madeline’s voice rings through the stairwell.

“Don’t shoot us,” Leonardo’s voice follows shortly after.

A scoff leaves my lips and I near the island to watch Joel skillfully move around the kitchen. Every move has a crafted purpose and I can practically see the blood pulsating through his veins. 

My breathing hitches and I shift in hopes of gaining composure. “I don’t even have a gun,” I pipe up.

Joel walks in front of me and motions behind me. We dance around for a little before he grunts in frustration and puts his hands on my waist. My eyes go wide as Joel easily lifts me onto the cold island before reaching behind me. “I do,” he murmurs, sliding the pan of bundt cakes toward his muscled torso.

His smirk has me wanting to strip my clothes off and give it to him in the nastiest way possible. Bad, ginny. He was just sick of you being in the way. “I don’t think that applies to this scenario, Joel,” I stress.

Joel moves from in between my legs and I turn my head to watch Leo strolling into the room confidently. “Hey, Miller,” he boasts.

“Hey,” I hear Joel respond next to me.

Maddie follows shortly behind him, wearing brown leather pants and high-heeled boots. She’s overdressed for a school event, but knowing her she’s probably looking for a husband. “Hi, Joel,” she purs, flashing him a smile.

My body turns to survey Joel’s reaction, but his poker face is stone-cold. “Nice to see you, Madeline,” he tries his hardest to force out through a smile.

It’s not that Joel doesn’t like Madeline, she’s just an acquired taste. Too much time around her can drive you crazy and sometimes when Joel picks Ellie up from the bakery, Madeline is sobbing her eyes out with a glass of wine in her hand. 

“Didn’t know you were working the party, man,” Leo notes once he and Madeline cross the large open floor plan into the kitchen.

“Joel’s daughter, Ellie, goes to school with Dina,” I tell Leo, motioning towards Joel.

Madeline nods, sliding into the bar stool and putting her shiny silver purse on the counter. “That makes sense.  What are you making?” she leans forward and asks Joel.

Joel rolls his shoulder forward, hunching over to plate the food. “Thanksgiving meals. Each meal comes with turkey and 3 sides. My brother Tommy’s bringing the rest,” he informs her.

Maddie's eyes light up and a smirk creeps onto her face. “I didn’t know you had a brother. Is he a chef, too?” she asks, voice laced with mischief.

Joel shrugs, not bothering to make eye contact with her. “Mostly just a pain in my ass but, yeah. He helps out at the Austin from time to time,” he grumbles.

“That's awesome! Is he cute?” Maddie asks excitedly.

“Maddie!” I hiss towards the blonde.

Joel’s phone buzzes on the counter next to us and he picks it up, turning the screen towards the group. “That would be him,” he says, shaking the device lightly.

Once Joel exits the room, I hit Maddie on the arm with the back of my palm. “What?! Not everyone has a Michelin-star chef whipping meals in their kitchen trying to get in your pants,” she frowns.

My eyes widen and I feel the sudden urge to yank my hair out. Now I know why Joel tugs on his roots. “Joel’s not– he’s not,” I stammer, pausing to collect my breath. “Joel’s not trying to get in my pants,” I sigh.

Maddie raises a brow, looking me up and down. “I beg to differ,” she counters.

Jumping down from the counter, I start to pick up where Joel left off with the meals. “He doesn’t have time to– Leo, don’t eat that,” I swat Leo’s hand, stopping him from picking up a bundt cake prematurely.

Leo winces, putting his hands up in defense before sliding into the bar stool. “So, how’s things been between you two?” he questions.

My brows furrow and I feel confusion wash over me. “What do you mean?” I ask.

“I mean, you’ve been seeing each other for what, a month. Right?” he asks.

Maddie snickers next to me and I shake my head, resuming my careful placing of the assorted dessert flavors. “No, Leo. We literally haven’t even been on a date,” I point out.

Leo twists back and forth in the spinning chairs like a child who’s bored out of his mind. “That means nothing,” he scoffs.

My head tilts and I point the spatula at Leo. “To you, you whore. To me it means something. We’re just friends,” I inform him.

Leo purses his lips and his brows furrow. “Oh, fuck off,” he nips at me.

“What?” I ask him.

Leo rolls his eyes and I want to lean forward to snatch them out of his socket. “I still don’t know how you’re blind to him flirting,” he complains.

Maybe I am reading things wrong. Maybe Joel is interested. “If he flirts with me so much, why hasn’t he asked me out on a date or kissed me?” I ask the pair confused.

My head darts back and forth between my friends. “Maybe he just wants to take things slow,” Maddie tries to explain.

Leo clears his throat and my head whips to face his. “Yup. You said yourself he has a daughter,” he shrugs.

My eyes look at the clock to check and see if we’re doing good on time. Ellie and Dina will be bursting in at any moment. They don’t need to be privy to this conversation. 

Once I have my confirmation, I refocus on the to-go containers in front of me. “Then why would he and his daughter sleep in my bed with me the other night?” I ask. 

Maddie's jaw drops and her eyes widen. “You slept in the same bed together?!” She practically shrieks.

“Yeah, I told you,” I remind her.

Maddie shakes her head in disbelief. “No, you told me they stayed the night. Not that you were cuddled up with Joel Miller,” she hisses.

I shake my head and begin pleading my case, “I wasn't cuddled up with him. Ellie had a sit–”

Joel walks in and I shut myself up, my eyes immediately finding his. “Hey y’all, I want to introduce you to my brother, Tommy,” he bellows with a smile, stepping to the side. 

A man a bit younger than Joel steps through my entryway, his hair slightly slicked back. He’s not my type, but he’s definitely Maddie’s. I stop placing the cakes in the to-go boxes, crossing the floor to meet them halfway. “Come on in. It’s nice to meet you,” I smile, putting my hand on his arm to pull him into the kitchen.

Tommy looks down at me and smiles. “Likewise. Heard a lot about you,” he confesses with warmth in his voice.

Fucking attractiveness and charm must run in the family. “Good things, I hope,” I suggest to Tommy, peering up at him.

Tommy nods, chuckling a bit. “Fantastic things, darlin’,” he assures me and I almost melt. It’s good to know that Joel and Ellie talk about me positively.

When we get to the kitchen, Maddies is already standing seemingly posing by the counter. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Madeline,” she flirts, extending her hand for him to shake.

I let go of his jacket, sliding into Maddie’s seat at the bar. “Tommy,” he shakes her hand before awkwardly turning toward me.

He raises his brow almost as if he’s asking how I know them silently. “Madeline and Leo are my friends from elementary school,” I quickly explain.

Tommy lets out an ah sound, nodding a bit before Leo clears his throat. “Nice to meet you, man,” Leo chimes.

“Likewise,” Tommy returns.

I clap my hands softly, clasping them together in front of my chest. “Now, Tommy. I hate to put you to work but can you help me carry this stuff out to the van?” I request.

Tommy smiles, pushing his hair back with his fingers. “Of course,” he agrees.

My body turns towards my best friends. “Maddie, can you and Leo grab the cookie tubs and put them in the other van?” I ask the pair.

“I can do it by myself,” Leo grumbles and I realize I’ve hurt his ego.

“I know you can. Maddie is just the brains of the operation,” I soothe him.

Maddie snickers and Leo rolls his eyes. “Fine, let’s go brain,” he says, putting his arm around her shoulder.

“Aye aye, Pinky,” Maddie salutes him as they stomp out of the room.

Tommy and I get to work grabbing the Fall Fest dinners and putting them into a large box. After they’re stacked on a dolly, we begin to load them one by one onto the first bakery van. A comfortable silence fills the van as we secure the last of the food. “So, are you single?” I ask Tommy, attempting to play matchmaker for Maddie.

Tommy wipes his hands on his pants and my nose scrunches. Later he’s going to wonder where that stain came from… men. “Depends on who’s asking,” he drawls suspiciously.

I scoff, hopping down out of the van. “You and Leo are the biggest whores I’ve ever met. It’s a simple question Tommy,” I rant before forcefully pushing another box towards him.

Tommy stops the box from moving so quickly across the large metal floor paneling. “Who’s asking, Ginny?” he directs.

My leg bounces and the ways Maddie will kill me for this runs through my brain. “Madeline,” I jabber, hoping he won't tell her.

Tommy looks up at me blinking rapidly. His mouth forms a large o and his brows furrow. “I’m single, but I’m not interested,” he declares.

I put my hands on my hips. “What do you mean you’re not interested? She’s literally perfect,” I say, pointing out the fact that she’s a blonde with blue eyes. She’s every man in America’s dream.

Tommy shrugs. “Hate to say it but we Millers have a type. She’s beautiful, just not my cup of tea if you catch my drift,” he explains resuming his work.

Ohhhh. I didn’t know the Millers prefer brown women. But then again, I’ve never actually been to Joel's house or seen a picture of Sarah, or his exes. How the fuck was I supposed to know? “100%” I confirm, pushing him another box. “Can I ask you something?” I ask.

“Depends-” Tommy starts and I cut him off.

“On what it is I know,” I snap, gnawing on my bottom lip. “How do I say this?” I think out loud.

Tommy's choleric disposition takes over his face, similar to Joel's when he’s had enough. “Whatever it is spit it out,” he growls lowly.

The sweat on my forehead collects and I feel like hot water is being poured onto my scalp. But I have to know how Joel feels about me, and Tommy would know. “Is Joel interested in me?” I blurt, feeling like I’ve finally submerged myself in a cool bath.

Tommy doesn’t say anything, he just purses his lips. The comfort I felt turns into pain when the water turns into ice. My body is frozen and I’m rendered speechless.

I want to flee. I need to get out of here. I shouldn’t have asked. “Oh my god,” I finally speak.

“Mmmhm,” Tommy hums, motioning for me to pass him another box so I can continue t

I rub my eyebrows as the pit in my stomach fills with anxiety. “Oh god, Tommy. What am I gonna do?” I ask, unable to stand anymore with the alley seemingly spinning.

I take a seat in the back of the truck, putting my head in my hands. “What do you want to do?” Tommy asks.

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you,” I groan towards the ground.

“Well the way I see it, lean into it or tell him so he doesn’t fall harder for ya,” he advises.

My brain runs through all the moments that I’ve had with Joel. How the first day we met he offered to cook for me. Every lingering touch, all the compliments he’s given me, when vulnerable he’s been with me. You don’t do that with someone who’s just a friend. 

I peel my hands away from my face with realization. “Oh my gosh, he’s been sending so many signals. I’m going to throw up,” I groan.

Tommy steps out of the van, looking down at me. “Please don’t,” he pleads.

Suddenly, Joel comes around the corner at the most inappropriate time. These Millers just pop up anywhere and one day, they’re going to make me piss myself. They need a bell on their ankles. He hands the last boxes to Tommy and I pray to the gods above he didn’t overhear our conversation. “Don’t what?” Joel asks.

Fuck. My body tenses and I try to focus on containing the bile rising in my throat. “Ginny’s feelin’ dizzy. I’m almost finished here. She’s just gonna sit for a second,” he tells his brother.

Joel sits down on the metal butt of the truck next to me. He puts his hand in my lap, palm facing up towards me. I accept his offer, intertwining our fingers. “You need anything, sugar?” he asks sweetly, and I sigh.

I nod, running the back of his hands with my thumb. Attentive Joel is my favorite, but only because I’m an attention whore. “Can you get me a Coke from the fridge? Maybe I just need some caffeine,” I request.

Joel nods, trying to let go of my hand. Although I don’t want him to, I allow him to disconnect from me. “Of course, I’ll be right back,” he says, petting my head before turning around and disappearing behind the van.

A sigh of relief slips my lips and I try to refocus on calming my breathing. “So are you?” I hear Tommy say behind me.

I scoot back against the inside of the van walls, allowing the sides to cool me down. “Am I what?” I ask him with a raised brow.

“Are you single?” he reiterates.

A smirk creeps onto my lips. “Depends on who’s asking,” I taunt him.

“Joel,” Tommy cuts straight to the point, unlike me.

I giggle and I feel like the panic has finally subsided. “Yeah, I’m single,” I tell him.

Tommy finishes securing the last box and he turns around to face me. He puts his hands on his upper thigh, leaning on one leg. Jesus Christ, now that’s attractive. “And open? Ready?” he interrogates.

I nod, sliding out of the truck. “Tommy, I mean it. Make sure Joel knows how ready,” I say to him as he shuts the back doors.

Joel turns off the engine to the bakery van, having pulled into the spot at the school where vendors unload. He turns to me and flashes me a smile. “You alright?” he asks concerned.

After that conversation with Tommy, I needed more than just a Coke. I needed multiple shots of tequila. I forced Tommy and Maddie to join me, leaving Joel and Leo the only sober people to drink the trucks.

I nod, and my body bobs unstabily. “Yes,” I slur.

Joel shakes his head and his head falls back. He lets out a loud bellowing laugh, holding his stomach and I know he’s caught me in the lie. “Well, you are not talking to any parents tonight,” he chuckles, wiping his hands over his face.

I roll my eyes at him. “I wasn’t planning on it. Besides, all the moms are going to be all over hot Chef Miller,” I complain, hoping he doesn’t notice my jealousy. 

He laughs again and it’s so beautiful, I want to make his laugh featuring Ellie’s giggle my alarm clock so I can wake up peacefully. Snap the fuck out of it, Imogen. “That’s not going to happen,” Joel says, opening his door.

I don’t get to respond before he shuts it, jogging over to my side to retrieve me. Joel opens the door and I’m reading to pounce. “Yes, the fuck it is,” I counter, feeling my emotional drunk alter ego arise.

Joel leans against the door frame, extending his hand to help me down. “Well good thing I don’t want any of them,” he claims.

I accept his hand, looking at him with hope in my eyes. “Really?” I ask.

Joel’s pupils dilate and he flashes me a smile. “Really,” he confirms, putting his hands on my hips.

He guides me until my back is pressed against the cool metal of the truck. His eyes flicker down to my lips before back up to me. If he’s going to do anything, he better do it now before someone sees us.

“Joel!” “Ginny!” I hear Ellie and Dina’s voices call from behind Joel. Fuck, scratch a bell bracelet. They need a fucking air horn.

Joel steps back, putting some space between us. “Hey kiddo,” he greets her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

Fucking cock blocking crotch demons. Let it go, Imogen. He was probably just trying to perform a wellness check on you. “Hey, Dina,” I say, teetering over to her in my heels.

“Thanks for coming,” I hear Ellie say to her dad.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I hear Joel say before the second van pulls up in the spot next to us.

Ellie gasps when she sees who’s in the passenger seat. She slams her hand on the glass window, effectively scaring Leo who’s on the other side. “Uncle Tommy!” she cheers before running over to the passenger side.

Joel leans over until his lips are touching my ear. “It’s always ‘Uncle Tommy, Uncle Tommy.’ But never ‘Dad’,” he complains in a whisper.

I sway a bit, unstable from the drinking. “Patience, young padawan,” I quote Star Wars to him.

Joel wraps his arms around my waist to stabilize me. Dina’s eyes look us up and down. She leans forward and sniffs the air in front of my face. “Ginny, are you drunk?” she asks loudly.

“Shhhhh. You’ll tell the whole fucking school,” I shush her, pulling her towards me so Leo can get out of the car.

Dina snickers, lacing her hand in mine. “Come on, we’re walking to the corner store for snacks before it starts,” she enlists me.

I nod excitedly, thinking about the possibility of having slushies and Hot funyons. “Count me in. Got any cash, Joel?” I ask the resourceful man. He’s bound to have something on him and I don’t feel like bringing my purse.

He nods, reaching into his back pocket to pull out a brown leather wallet. “Mmhm. Take Tommy with you, Sugar,” he hands me back two twenties and I gladly accept them, slipping them into Dina’s hands.

I wine, squirming a bit. “But Joel, Maddie will be with us. All girls with Tommy would just be weird,” I complain.

Joel brushes past me, heading towards the back of the trucks. “I don’t care, you’re both drunk. You need someone out there lookin’ after y’all,” he says over his shoulder.

Dina tugs my hands a couple of times, dancing in place. “Awwww,” she coos.

I cover my mouth to try to stop the giggle that slips out. He’s cute when he’s all protective and shit. “Hehe. Does he have a gun?” I ask, pulling Dina towards the back with me.

Joel grabs the handle, opening the heavy doors. “Yes,” he answers.

“Well okay, as long as he doesn’t bother us,” I conceded.

The 3 others from the van join us along with Ellie. Dina immediately ditches me, joining her now best friend. “Tommy, walk with them to the store,” Joel commands his brother.

“Why can’t Leo do it?” Tommy groans like a child.

Joel takes out the Dolly to start unloading the items. “Because Leo’s sober, and I need his help with this shit,” he states frustratedly. 

Leo snickers, walking over to the truck to start unloading the boxes. “Ahem,” I clear my throat at Joel.

That fucker forgot one crucial part. “And stay ten paces behind them,” he adds.

Tommy puts his hands up. “Fine by me. I don’t wanna know you’re girly bullshit anyways,” he jeers.

Madeline pats him on the shoulders. “That’s what they all say, Tommy,” she argues.

Maddie links her arm with mine. “We’ll see you guys later,” I say to Joel before joining the teenagers for the walk down the block.

We walk through the parking lot for a bit before entering the school. Whenever I have a drop of liquor in me, I have the urge to Irish goodbye. I drag Maddie with me until were walking closer behind the girls. “We should really lose him,” I suggest.

Ellie looks over her shoulder at Tommy before nodding at Dina. “Okay, follow us,” Dina intrusts.

I nod as we move quickly through the hall taking a left and running into a room. We quickly shut the door behind us, and I peer out the window waiting for Tommy to walk by. When he does, he looks confused turning around in circles. I snicker and he seemingly hears. I quickly pulls my head away from the small plexiglass, hoping he didn’t notice me. “Did we lose him?” Ellie asks, looking over my shoulder.

Maddie takes matters into her own hands, stepping past me to check. “Coast is clear,” she informs us with a smile.

We break out into laughter and I feel like I’ve just pulled off the greatest inside job ever. “Let’s go,” Dina says, reaching for the door handle.

When we get to the store, I bolt toward the Slurpee machine. I grab the largest cup size, filling it with cherry and coke flavors. Once my drink is secured, I grab and fill two cups for Tommy and Joel. Ellie finds me, grabbing Joel's cup, and together we wander the store looking for the spicy chips. 

I snatch three bags from the top shelf, figuring someone will stick their fingers in my bag and piss me off. It’s always good to have extras. “You know, I’d be okay if my dad dated someone like you,” Ellie pipes up randomly next to me.

I almost drop the Slurpee onto the tile floor beneath me. “Oh. Where is this coming from?” I ask her with a raised brow.

She grabs some chips before we walk towards the candy aisle to meet with Maddie and Dina. “He asked me if I was okay with him dating someone the other day,” she leaves me hanging on her every word.

“What’d you say?” I dig deeper.

She turns towards me with a smirk on her lips. “I said I wouldn’t care as long as it was you,” she admits.

The door to the corner store dings and Tommy is pushed in by the windy city. He looks pissed as fuck as he stomps over towards us. “The hell? Your dad is gonna kill me if he finds out–” he starts before Ellie cuts him by shoving a Slurpee in his hand.

“He’ll be fine. Let’s go, Uncle Tommy,” she motions towards the counter.

By the time we’re back in the gym, everything is set up. Joel graciously accepts the Slurpee, which turns his tongue blue, sending Ellie into a fit of giggles. Now hours later, I walk around the gym shopping at other booths with Madeline. I can’t deny that every time I look at Joel, our eyes link for a second too long. The simple interaction causes my breath to catch in my chest every time, and I try to ignore it. 

After some time, we’re finished looking in the main gym, and we head into the hall to see the art auction pieces. Eligible students can create anything they want; a poem, a painting, or a sculpture to put up for action. The people who come to Fall Fest pledge money towards an art piece, and the money earned goes towards the student’s college tuition.

We stroll down the hall, mindlessly chatting about which pieces we want to bid on before Maddie points at a specific piece. “That’s fucking gorgeous,” she blusters.

A smile creeps on my face when I look closer at the signature. The familiar white calligraphy makes my heart sing. “It’s Ellie’s,” I boast about the talented young girl.

“Now I see why she’s painting the mural. This is some good shit. I’ve gotta commission her for some art,” Maddie rambles, seemingly entranced by the swirls of paint before her.

I nod, smiling at the though of Ellie becoming an artist of some kind. “She’d probably love that,” I tell her.

When I turn around, I see Joel walking through the door of the large hall. His eyes dart around till he finds me, b-lining for us. He stands in front of me awkwardly and when Maddie turns around, she jumps from being startled a bit. “Well, I’m gonna just go look…” she trails off, effectively excusing herself.

“Can we talk?” Joel asks, tilting his head towards a darker secluded hall.

“Yeah,” I say to him, pulling him into the area not lit by prison lighting.

Once we’re alone, I lean back against the wall. “What’s wrong?” I tilt my head attempting to cajole him into telling me.

“Nothin’ it’s just, I’ve bit my tongue 'cause I was unsure if–” he pauses and takes a deep breath. “I enjoy spendin’ time with you, Ginny. You’ve become important to me and you should know that I care about you deeply, sugar,” he confesses.

Oh, I wasn’t expecting that. This train has a one-way route towards the friend zone. “I care about you too Joel! And I like spending time with you too. And Ellie,” I sadly follow his lead.

Joel steps closer, putting his hand over my head and leaning forward. “I just really don’t wanna lose you,” he expresses, voice laced with sincerity.

My hands snake up around his waist and I grip the grey shirt he’s wearing. “How would you lose me, Joel?”

Joel's eyes stay fixed on mine and the brown in his eyes swirls like hot chocolate. “Sugar, I feel more than just a friendship level for ya. I like you,” he stresses.

“Oh, Joel. I’m not going anywhere. I wouldn’t,” I promise him, pulling him closer so our upper bodies are pressed towards each other.

He sighs, looking down at the ground between us. “I know, but telling you that means changing our relationship. I don’t want to scare you and I didn’t know–” he starts before I tap his side, cutting him off.

“Joel, I like you too. Like… a lot,” I confirm.

His head quickly rises and he sighs, “Oh.”

I’m starting to feel embarrassed by the whole situation. “Dear, god. I-I don’t know why my brain goes blank when I look at you. I think I’m going crazy. I feel like a high schooler,” I falter.

Joel chuckles, leaning forward to press his forehead onto mine. I clear my throat, impatient tugging at his side. “So, I think this is the part where you’re supposed to kiss me,” I murmur.

Joel takes his forehead off of mine, searching my face seemingly wary of crossing the line. All he’s going to find is my stupid shit-eating grin. “Are you sure?” Joel asks for consent and I think it’s the most sexy thing I’ve ever heard leave a man's lips.

“Positive,” I nod, radiating with excitement.

“Okay,” he sighs and a wolfish grin creeps onto his face.

His hands slide up to my neck, pulling me closer. “Okay,” I murmur.

He grabs the back of my neck, crashing his lips onto mine. We both smile into the kiss and I force a giggle back down my throat. My lips open slightly, granting him entrance. His warm tongue dances with mine and I marvel at the taste of whiskey and apple on his lips. It’s filled with so much passion, that I feel like my heart is about to explode.

His fingers thread into my hair, massing my scalp as he kisses me. I moan into his mouth and my clit pulsates with a hunger for him. He disconnects our lips, leaving us both panting because of the other. “Was that as good for you as it was for me?” I murmur against his lips.

“Probably better,” Joel grunts before pulling back and motioning towards the hard member protruding through his jeans.

“Joel, oh my gosh,” I giggle, stepping forward and wrapping my arms around his torso. “Can I have one more?” I practically salivate, batting my lashes at him.

Joel nods, snaking his hand back around my neck. His thumb strokes my jaw and I lean into him. “Mmmhm,” he hums, dipping his head back down.

His lips connect with mine and my tongue continues to explore his map. I want to stay in this moment forever. It feels like a dream and I don’t want to wake up. His lips are surprisingly soft and I kick myself for not doing this months ago.

The smacking of our lips is apparent when we pull back this time and I know my face is covered in pink flush. “Damn it. I was supposed to do this right. Date first, then kiss,” he curses himself.

I giggle, standing on my tip-toes to press a kiss against his cheek. “Joel, I asked you to kiss me. Besides, we’ve known each other for months,” I acknowledge our past.

Joel nods, but he doesn’t seem ready to let it go. “You’re right, but still. Can I take you out on a date?” he pleads.

I’m practically bouncing on my toes, my mind racing with thoughts of my future with Joel. Relax Ginny, he just asked you out on one date. “Yes,” I blurt.

Joel chuckles at my excitement, taking a step back and lacing his hand with mine. “When are you free next?” he turns to me and asks as we walk back to the gym.

“Thursday, but it’s Thanksgiving. After that, on Friday. Speaking of, do you guys have any plans for the holiday?” I inquire.

Joel shakes his head, confirming my suspicions. “No, just me, Tommy, and Ellie eating at an undecided time,” he informs me.

“How about you join me at Maddie’s house? Her family always orders catering for Thanksgiving,” I offer, hoping he’ll grace me with his presence sooner than a week from now. I get we’re both busy food industry owners, which I love, I just don’t think I can wait that long to be in a romantic setting with him.

“I know. They’ve put in an order at The Austin for the past two years,” Joel dictates and I nod. Just my luck, the man’s food I’ve been shoveling into my mouth for the past 6 holidays is also the man I’m trying to date.

I poke his muscular bicep with my free hand. “Even better, you can personally deliver it and tell everyone who doesn’t like it that they’re wrong. Just like you did on my birthday,” I joke with him and he puts his hands on his chest, seemingly hurt by my statement.

“I’m sorry about that, darlin’. Really I am,” Joel apologizes.

I tug on his hand, trying to grab his attention and snap him out of a spiral. “I’m fucking with you, Joel. Please come. I’m sure Ellie would love it,” I practically beg him.

Joel pauses, looking up to think about it. He’s probably worried about how unpredictable his two family members would be in this setting. “Okay, we’ll come,” he concedes, finally.

“Good. I’ll text you the details. You’re standing straighter,” I beam, pointing out his posture change.

Joel chuckles, rubbing his thumb across mine soothingly. “I feel like a house just lifted off my back. I’ve had my eyes on you since June 30th,” he confesses.

I smirk, leaning closer to him. “So Maddie was right, you were practically drolling on my shoulder,” I taunt.

“She said that?” he asks with furrowed brows.

I nod, attempting not to give him too much information. “Mmmhm,” I hum.

He tugs on my hand, stopping me in my tracks before I reach the entryway. “I’m not going to deny that, Sugar,” he looks me up and down like I’m a meal he wants to ravish.

The thought of us fucking turns me on even more, and I have to remind myself we’re in a high school. “Okay, one last kiss before we’re back in the gym?” I use my siren eyes against him, peering up at him through my lashes.

“I like how you think,” Joel mumbles, sliding his free hand up and around the front of my neck. He gently pulls me forward, connecting our lips one final time. A wave of relief hits me, and I moan as his tongue dances with mine in the filthiest way. Me and Joel Miller are going out on a date.

read the rest of the series

[snickerdoodlles]

I disagree with your chan headcannon

But I like your other headcannons so can I for macau headcannons if you don't mind

😂 well the good news is that i’m in the fandom minority with my “Chan is loyal to Korn only” camp and rarely ever post about him, so keep asking me about brothers and we'll be delighted together

and yes!!! MACAU MY DARLING BOY!!! i love him SO much, but i will limit myself to only three (3) headcanons for him on this post in a futile attempt to keep it from getting too long

Macau & Kim

his favorite way to piss Kim off is by making club mixes of chinese drama OSTs. he does this with Kim's actual songs too after those start rolling out, but this feud began long before they started posting to social media. Macau also starts off with a larger following for his mixes than Kim does for his covers, and while that eventually plateaus and Kim passes him in their follower counts by the time canon rolls around, Kim is still so fucking bitter. the day Kim starts to let it go is the day Macau posts a video of himself playing hot cross buns on the drama dizi* he stole from Kim years ago.

Macau & Chay

Chay and Macau do Not like each other. i know people like to make them friends, i just don't see it happening without a lot of work first and it's so much funnier to me if they're frenemies. i do love them as online gaming besties tho (before they find out who the other is), because then they both have to live with the mortifying knowledge that Chay once called Macau 'daddy' after he gave him a bunch of turnips in animal crossing, because they are teenagers and teenagers make stupid daddy jokes. any inclinations of trying to be friends because Porsche and Vegas are friends dry up faster than water on a hot pan after that.

Macau & Pete & Vegas

you know what's a great way to bond with brothers and in-laws? movies. you know what's the worst leisure activity to do with Pete and Vegas? WATCH MOVIES. every action scene is scrutinized and criticized and Pete keeps rewinding the same three seconds to mock the character's kick stance. any murder scenes are WORSE. Vegas hates romances and hates ballads. the only things not totally infuriating to watch with him are cooking shows and home improvement shows and the occasional gardening show and yawn. Pete's tastes are much broader thanks to Khun, but he also comes with so many opinions on how to properly watch shows and Macau doesn't actually want to dress up every time they watch a horror film.

so movie nights are almost a bust. they do find some movies they're all into, but it's usually an exercise in frustration. but then, one day while they're queuing up a film they're only 37% sure on, Pete's grandma calls with the hot town gossip--"do you remember Kobb Pete? yes, the nice old man who runs the fruit stand, remember how he gave you a mango on your first day of school and you dripped all down your new uniform? well, you'll never believe what's happened, you know how Kobb passed his stand down to his son Mew and Mew was training up his son Mod to take over one day, except they got into a fight on how to best display the pineapples and papayas and they had a fight, yes, right there in the middle of the road, and Mew fired his son, but Kobb backed Mod, so they opened a rival fruit stand with Mew's wife, but Kobb's wife sided with Mew and got the neighbors involved, and--"

it takes grandma forty minutes to regale the tale of the on-going fruit vendor feud. then she continues to update Pete on the rest of the hometown for another three hours. Macau and Vegas are enthralled. how often does your grandma tell you things Pete, can we be there for the next one, what's the full story behind the thing with Folk's fishing boat, why did you ask grandma if Sine's husband was in the garden--

listen, small town drama is the best drama. and Vegas is having a journey to discover which mafia things are things he likes vs which ones he forced himself to like to survive, and being a nosy cunt sniffing out all the juicy scandals is absolutely something he takes to with glee (he will become grandma's favorite when they visit, they are terrifying together). Macau just loves hearing all the petty drama and neighbors feuds that result in increasingly passive aggressive displays of garden gnomes instead of gunfire. movie night becomes grandma call nights and it's the best family bonding.

*inspired by Jeff buying one of the Wei Wuxian's flutes and the fact that he reportedly learned how to play it because he's a big ol' cql nerd ❤❤❤ this is also a reference to @majestictortoise's fic Middlegame, which everyone should read if they haven't yet and reread if they have

Send an ask, get a headcanon (prev: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

[merakimagic]

Ummm… if you have every wondered what it’s like to have ADHD, Autism (Lvl 1), Anxiety and Depression but also have an overwhelming sense that you need to be strong and perfect then here’s a message I just sent to my friend because I needed to let someone in and didn’t know who else to say it to.

It seems to give a pretty clear explanation in my view.

I don’t know why I feel so annoyed and frustrated with myself for saying I have ADHD and Autism. I have those things and I’m not ashamed of them but why do I always need to tell people… so they understand why I’m different. I mean everyone’s different and have different ways of doing things, it’s not like I’m special nor does anyone care. It’s not an excuse! I should be completely cable of keeping that part of myself in and not feeling like I have to tell people.

Does the way I explain it to people make it sound like I’m trying to get attention? Does saying that I’m proud of it and love how it makes me more curious about things and how it has made me good at art, music, languages, school, mythology, sports, pretty much a lot of things because I enjoy knowing them make it sound like I’m arrogant or trying to brag or just put a label on things.

I have anxiety, Autism level 1, ADHD, Depression, have experienced an eating disorder and still at times do, I’m a red head with blue eyes, I’m bi/pan, anemic, have asthma and ahhhhhh. Does all of this when I contribute to a conversation and say something about one of them just make people think that I have a need to be special?

Im sure I don’t feel that way. I think the only reason some of my reactions to things like how I may have a panic attack need stimming and stuff like that only happen know because I know there’s a reason for it but what if I’m just making a big deal out of nothing.

I really need to learn to shut up at times I think, I don’t think people really care about my long spills nor do they really want to know what’s going on with me. Why are relationships so fucking difficult?!

Why can’t I just understand them and the way they work? Can’t they just be simple? Why if your dating someone does there have to be this whole thing of you have to do this with them and you can’t do this with other people? Why do I need sounds to go away when I get overwhelmed, the worlds loud! It shouldn’t matter? Why do I feel like it’s okay to be flaws but I need to be flawless all at the same time? Why am I afraid of not being perfect? Why if I felt like I told my parents about this they would just get angry at me and tell me it’s all in my head? Why am I crying? These are thoughts are dealing with on a daily basis why are they bothering me now? Why can’t I just keep it to myself? I’ve been handling shit on my own my entire life it’s nothing new? Why do I know that tomorrow I’m gonna be fine and this is just a moment where my walls have fallen down?

Why am I so confident sometimes and then the rest I’m just completely fucked up? Why do I always need to restrain myself? Why can’t I just scream and then get back to it all? Why do I have to feel ashamed? Why should I have to feel like my mum doesn’t want to admit I have Autism?

Why do I care if I have Autism or ADHD so much? They have always been apart of me? It doesn’t mean anything? They’re just caused by a genetic mutation and makes you neurotypical why does it even matter? They’re just labels, who even gives a damn? You could have neither one and act the same way as me and people might just call you weird? Why do I care so much about this shit? No one else fucking does, maybe I should just shut up for a while. It’s clear that when I make a joke that it’s taken offensively, it’s clear that no one wants to hear about my problems, it’s clear that no one wants to here my rants, it’s clear that no one wants to here about my hobbies or opinions, it’s clear that I don’t get how to properly interact with others. Maybe I should just shut up, but if I did then my parents would just go on about how somethings wrong and get angry at me for not talking to them about it and we would just end up in a fight where they are telling me to just get over it and if I turn it back on them for how they have made me feel this way then they would just get even more angry and deny it.

Dad brought up a post that said about how a guys son used to sing and never stop talking and now they will be in the same room and his son will have his headphones on not say a word and that his son doesn’t know how much is dad misses him. And dad said that reminded him of me. Doesn’t he get that they’re part of the reason I don’t talk all the time. Because evertime I did I got told to calm down or my joke was offensive or that they don’t need the elephant. Don’t they get I like my phone because it has my hyperfixations and ever since I was little have loved cartoons and looking at fanart because they were what got me through the hard days at school and my parents fighting. Don’t they get I used them to cope because everything was solved in 22minutes and that’s the world I like to escape to when I day dream.

Why the fuck does all this even matter, why the fuck am I just being so overly emotional? Why can’t this just be all there is going through my brain right now?

Obviously there’s more.

There’s the voice telling me to just let myself cry and the voice telling me to suck it up and another one telling me to get ready for work and another one telling me to stop messaging and another one saying don’t put this on them and another one asking why I’m shaking and another if one saying I’ve done well to hold back the tears and another one saying I wonder when this message thing will cut me off and I’ll have to send two seperate messages? And another one asking is this just what my head is like? Is this what everyone’s head is like? Is this just because of my mental health shit? Am I just weak? Am I really this pathetic that I can’t pull myself together? I don’t want anyone to feel bad for me so why do I need to let anyone in? Why do I want to so badly to talk about this but also say nothing at all?

What the fuck is wrong with me, why can’t I just get the hell over it and move on, people deal with way worse stuff then this and here I am complaining because my low self esteem and hyper active over thinking head is just having a bad day and pulling me into it and won’t fucking leave me alone… what a pathetic excuse. You can’t use excuses in life. No one cares and no one has time for them, no one’s gonna help you so stop making excuses and just get on with it.

Put on your uniform, pack your bag and go to work and put on a happy cheerful face and just go take care of other people so that you don’t have to think about this. Just get on with it, there a bigger things then yourself and you just gotta get over what’s going on in your head

I’m Okay… I’m okay now.

If you’ve every felt this way, please let me know.

I don’t want to feel so alone anymore, nor do I want others to feel alone either.

I just felt these were necessary to make the whole thing a little less sad and full on serious and honestly feel like these characters would get it. Also this is not my art💫

[girllovestorock925866]

behind the scenes

This story is based in 2024 with current Nikki sixx and Tommy Lee it's fiction

Nikki and Tommy are their current ages reader is 32

Warnings age gap threesome mmf

21+ to read

Inspired by my fantasy

You are an upcoming photographer who recently got an opportunity of a lifetime to photograph your idols aka mötley crüe well 2 of Nikki and Tommy it was for a upcoming photoshoot featuring the terror twins

You couldn't believe it when you got a message from Nikki on Instagram saying he loves your photography and would like you to do the photos you had a crush on them both you had to keep it professional because this shoot could get you places

At the studio you set up for the shoot then go next room to get a water only to see Nikki and Tommy walking in to get red bull

Well hello camera girl Nikki says with a sexy smile on his face

Yo picture girl what's up Tommy says who seems very excited to see you as well

Hi guys my name is Jess I'm the photographer of the photo shoot

We know who are we talked on Instagram remember ?

Yeah but that's part of my job introducing myself first so you guys ready to get started

Yeah give me a few minutes I got to call my fucking soon to be ex wife to tell her come and get the rest of her shit out of my house Nikki says throwing his red bull can across the room hitting the trash can

Yeah I'm go grab a smoke right quick

Ok guys I'll be waiting to set up the first shot

Dude she's fucking hot you should totally hit that sixx your single now

T bone I'm not going to date anyone let alone get married again Donna and that bitch who I was married to for 7 years made me realize it's better to just fuck around and not commit to anything

Bro I've been telling you that for years why don't we ask her for threesome bro she's hotter the c even though of being

Nikki Walks in the dressing room with Tommy changing into their wardrobe for the shoot Nikki wears a red sleeveless shirt a par of black leather pants with a and checkerboard vans while tommy went for a a black tank top jeans and Converse

And walk out to the shooting room where Jess was waiting for them

Wow you guys look hot

Not as hot as you babe Nikki says walking up to you as Tommy makes his way over to you to

So I think we should put that camera to better use for more pleasurable reasons don't you think t bone Nikki says looking at tommy smirking

Absolutely sixx

Jess looking at two older men next to her in total shock and slowly getting turned on by their words

You don't mean me and you 2 do you ?

Ding ding ding we have a winner Nikki says sarcastically as he picks up Jess's video camera checking it out then putting it back on the tripod

With Tommy behind you kissing your neck

Nikki turns the camera on walking back to you smashing his lips against yours as Tommy starts to undress you he gets your top off and starts to massage your boobs moaning as Nikki starts deepening the kissing as he slides his hand down to your panties slowly rubbing you easing a finger inside after a few minutes he pulls his finger out licking it clean

He and Tommy undress themselves

Ok baby get up on that table on all fours

Nikki comes up behind you as Tommy gets in front of your mouth Nikki hands Tommy a bandana Tommy ties it around your mouth to keep you from moaning out loud so others in the photography studio couldn't hear Nikki enters you from behind while tommy enters your mouth then the pleasure just took over both of them pounding away the older men moaning and throwing their heads back Nikki gripping her hips Tommy releases down your throat not wasting a single drop

Come on open up show the camera what a good girl you are by swallowing it all Tommy puts the video camera on your face have you swallowing his loud than panning out to show Nikki fucking you fast and hard a few minutes pass Nikki shoots his load inside of you

Just when you thought they was done using you they switch places tommy enters you from behind and Nikki hitting the back of your throat the room was filled with moans and nasty sounds no matter how quiet they tried to keep you a moan would still escape even with a bandana around your mouth you all 3 reach your releases get dressed and get back to the photo shoot now with a steamy video for keepsakes

[dashawns-world]

Escaflowne Opening Sequence

Alrighty y'all, I talked about the story, but now I wanna take a look at the opening scene. I'm curious about why I like it so much. It's easy to say, "Because the animation is sick!" 

But I wanna go a little deeper. I’ll be covering the opening sequence. Once again, the link for the movie is here. Shoutout to Neat Flicks on Dailymotion for uploading the movie. I’ll also post the vid link from the Sakugabooru site, which houses a much better quality sequence.

https://www.sakugabooru.com/post/show/170797 - I recommend checking out this site in general if you’re a fan of animation—credit to PurpleGeth for uploading this scene.

So off the jump, this sequence starts at a fair pace. We start on the stars and slowly pan down to a view of some clouds/mountains. BGs can only take you so far, and that pan is like a whopping 25 seconds, so I like that the next shot gives us some movement/animation. The goats were a nice touch because what the heck else would be this high? Birds? Amateur shit! (that I would’ve done) I do like the framing of this scene, though. 

I highlighted the foreground so that you could see the goats better. You're welcome. Something about the mountain taking up half of the frame, with the goats in the far background, sits well with me. The goat that runs in the foreground helps bridge the next cut, where the same (or possibly new) goat continues moving into the scene. Oh, what does bridge mean? Why is it highlighted? I’m glad I asked. That’s my cute little way of saying the goat’s movement helps the audience connect the dots between this scene and the next. ;) Little decisions like that help me understand we’re still on the mountain. This is a relatively benign example, but pay attention to fight scenes in action movies, and you can see how essential bridges can be. 

Let’s continue! As the camera pans up this mountain, I’m shown a giant dragon skeleton embedded inside of it. This is important for simply one reason. It’s visual storytelling! I know now that dragons (or whatever fantasy creature this could be) exist in this world/movie. It’s tempting to explain a lot when you have a fantasy story, and while the film will eventually tell you about the dragons, it’s not a “wait, there are dragons moment?” Because I saw one myself!

The fact that it’s a skeleton even adds a bit of mystery. Are they extinct? Is it just this one? I imagine one wants their audience to ask questions, so long as they’re asking the right ones and you have the answers. 

Eventually, a large shadow is cast on our mountain, and the next cut reveals a large ship passing by. Nowadays, 3D is far more accessible, and some may argue this isn’t that grand of a reveal. But I like it! The goat and mountain in the foreground give a sense of scale to the whole scene, and it’s a very economical shot choice. I work in TV animation, and shots like this are functional and attainable regarding skill level and time. 

Up until the fight starts, this entire sequence is exceptionally economical. Japan, in my opinion, are masters at the conservation of animation. They save the crazy stuff for the scenes that matter but generally tend to have pleasing compositions to supplement the rest of the show/film. If you’re wondering why they don’t just go wild like that all the time, the most straightforward answer is time. It takes a lot of it to get things looking right, and generally, it’s usually a few artists who have the skill to get it done on time in the first place. (More on that in a second)

So we’re treated to some more shots of the ship. Kudos to the director for even coming up with this many. I find it challenging to do this many non-character scenes in a row. You really have to know what you want your audience to see. Thankfully, they do. We’re treated to this wild tracking shot of something flying through the clouds. I almost called this a POV shot, thinking we were looking through Van’s eyes, but Van is the little speck with wings flying in. 

So this can’t be his POV. It’s gotta be the camera guy, lol. 

I talked already about Van’s approach in the previous post, and also, by this point, I hope you’ve watched the sequence. So Van gets on the ship and kills a soldier, yadda yadda. I do wanna take a moment to acknowledge this shot, though.

I’m partial to all of this. ^^^^

Back to my little review of this sequence, though, I LOVE the music kicking in. Those drums interrupt the dreaminess of it all. The action has begun! There’s a tiny part I’ll point out later. A small aside, this fight sequence was done by the insanely talented Yutaka Nakamura. When I started to learn about the animators I was inspired by, I found out this guy did a LOT of my favorite scenes in anime. He did stuff on Cowboy Bebop, Fullmetal Alchemist, Soul Eater, and my absolute favorite that I will eventually talk about, Sword of the Stranger. He’s still kickin too, doing some incredibly insane stuff for My Hero Academia. The guy’s a legendary animator. You have to be… to pull off the insane scene where Van RUNS INTO THE SHIP’S HULL AND KILLS TWO GUYS. WHY DO THAT UNLESS YOU EAT PENCILS FOR BREAKFAST?? All my artists out there… y’all know. This is insane. If you can’t draw, and everything seems to be the same level of impossibly difficult, lemme tell ya. You gotta be made of sterner stuff than the average artist to pull this scene off well. 

I'm gushing, sorry. And blushing too. I’m not gonna apologize for that, though. Now let me summarize why I like this fight so much and why it’s both a good (and kinda bad) establishing scene for Van. 

So far, his kill count is three dudes. And they’ve been effortless kills, too. Remember that screenshot above where Van is on all fours? (I know, it was so long ago because of my rambling.) Very… animalistic to me. It’s for a reason. Notice how he hasn’t said a word yet. Even after dispatching those two guys, he immediately attacks the next dude. It’s so fast, the other soldiers are telling each other to stay calm when honestly, we’re beyond that now. Like, seriously, Gary? (That’s the guard’s name now.) 

“I’m getting my shit rocked over here, I can’t stay calm!”

Oh crap, I wanted to talk about this! Van then takes out this dude in the sickest way possible. Seriously, it’s my favorite kill. Van’s positioning, alongside how the artists decide to bridge between these three scenes, gives me the feeling that I was cut. I know that’s dramatic, but what I mean is: the cuts are disorienting. I can’t keep up with them. I replayed it multiple times, and I truly believe this is due to them breaking the 180 rule. For the uninformed, the 180 rule is a film principle. It’s a way to keep characters in a consistent place onscreen so that the audience does NOT get disoriented. Action scenes are usually places where the 180 rule can be broken, but it works here REALLY well here, to me. 

That guard is history.

God, I said I’d summarize. So Van gets all his kills off and confronts the general. One of the kills is timed to the music that's bumping. Oof, it's SO good. The general is unimpressed, though. Like, was he even listening? He barely reacts to most of his men dying. Either that, or he’s trying not to shit himself. He simply states that he knows who Van is: the dragon he’s heard so much about. (Remember, we saw a dragon skeleton earlier. Not too shabby, eh?) Then we get this shot of Van:

He looks SO FREAKY! I loooove it. I know I’m thinking an extra layer too deep, but Van’s off-model look really helps me see him through the eyes of the general. Van is a monster in the general’s eyes. And Van’s response to the general after all this is, “I will slay all my enemies.” I love the way this establishes Van as a killer. This is how you establish a powerful and scary character! Despite its coolness, the question must be asked: Does it serve the story? 

Well yeah, of course, but there’s one thing I thought could’ve made it better. Deleting this scene here:

Hmm.

What’s wrong with this? Well, I think it gives away too much about Van. And not even the correct information, either. His smiling made me think he enjoys doing this. Viewers of the movie, or readers of my long-ass post, know that he does not, in fact, enjoy this. This smug face of his is why I thought of Van as an antagonist at first. It’s badass, tho. I’m ngl. And I mean, come on, would all of the movie’s problems be fixed if they deleted this very short scene? Absolutely, and I’m offended that you’d even ask. Jokes aside, I love this sequence. I wish it added up to a better whole, but it’s not bad on its own. And even after all these years, I still watch it in awe. Anyway, thanks for reading this! Despite my gripes, I still enjoyed my time with this film. I think my next deep dive will be for a game. Keep an eye out for it! 

-Dashawn