#this is who we are. given that u skipped ur first day at a new college to go to the this is us premiere i think you’d get it lol

[nobodymoves]

this is a deeply funny post ten years later lol happy 11 years of 1d to meeeeee 🎉🎉

and happy new year 🥰

this new years i would like to acknowledge that it has now been an entire year since my life was swallowed whole by one direction. (even though it’s american time not australian shhhh i’ve had a few mimosas just lemme do this) 

i still remember coming home from my best friend’s house at one or two am with live while we’re young stuck in my head, and deciding to listen to take me home (which i had already downloaded bcs my dash raved about it ty guys) before i fell asleep. i spent the next few days watching all of the youtube videos and the entire x-factor run and that was it, i was in.

i thought it would last a week. and here i am. good lord.

gonna finish the new follow forever that’s been sitting in my drafts EVENTUALLY but i just wanted to say before i pass out that ilu all for sticking w me through this trying time.

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[o-king-of-suns]

Hi ^^ I've recently found ur blog and read ur meta. Ur analysis is great! I'm kinda new here but I've seen so many ppl talk about Levi's guidebook page, referring to it as "the confirmation of what Levi was solely fighting for in the final battle i.e revenge by fulfilling the promise" I'm sorry if this has been pointed out before but as a Levi fan who believes otherwise, I'd love to read ur interpretation. Also u also believe the GB is implying this? I think ppl are having the wrong impression.

Hi! :) Thank you so much! I am glad you liked my meta! English is not my first language, so I try my best to express what I want to say.

Almost everyone agrees that the final guidebook is just an ABSOLUTE hot garbage! xD At this point that no one is taking seriously anymore! xD It straight up contradicts what happens in the manga, has VERY reductive and nonsensical descriptions of the characters and is FULL of errors.

The main reason to why many people have issues with Levi’s part (apart from it having nothing new or because it mainly focused on the promise) is one word that was used in the text that has been translated by some biased people into “obsessed”.

I asked 3 Japanese people (including my teacher) about the word that was used in the text and the meanings that I was given were: (be) dedicated to; have an uncompromising commitment to ; to really focus on; to be determined to; etc. From what I understood, this term is always a headache as it truly depends on what the writer wants to convey and what it “feels” right in the context. "Obsessed” is like, the most reductive reading of that word, and it's the exact word that Er_ris chose to use xD

Japanese is often qualified as vague, and it CAN leave room for interpretation. For example, the word (きれい) Isayama used to say Levi was the opposite of Rorschach could mean "pretty" or "clean" based on the context, but here's the thing: Rorschach is notoriously ugly, so it makes sense that Isayama meant that Levi is "pretty" (and it IS officially translated to "pretty" ), but I have seen MANY Japanese people say that Isayama meant "clean" not “pretty”! This word meaning in the text literally and solely depended on Isayama's intention even causing translators to get confused and translate it to “pretty”! If we look at the context of Levi’s character description in the last gb, the last line mentions that after his final mission, Levi “meets his friends with a calm heart”. Why would Levi be able to meet his friends with a “calm heart” if his entire arc was about him being “obsessed” with a personal goal and revenge?! Is this why he salutes them and they salute him back in the final chapter?! I am 100% sure that the word “obsessed” was not the one that the person who wrote the description wanted to use.

Now let’s stop talking about language translation and focus on Levi in the manga xD Is the gb version Levi the same Levi whom Isayama described as "as an existence more superior to myself" during Levi’s statue reveal just last March?!

You know, when I asked my native Japanese teacher to help me translate Isayama's statement about Levi, she sent me a 4 minute voice note breaking down the terms Isayma used and explaining how much respect the person speaking (Isayama) has for the person he's talking about (Levi). I was embarrassed to tell her that the person he’s speaking about is actually a fictional character lol

Isyama used 頭 の上がらない which literally means “can’t raise someone’s head” but it actually means “can’t raise someone’s head in front someone else for how much respect they have for this person”

Now let’s look at Levi’s actions in the manga to see if we can reach to the same conclusion.

Levi is one of, if not the most, perceptive characters in SNK. In one the official short stories, he was described as a person who is able to “know the true nature of Man”. For Levi, Zeke is a man who cheered with satisfaction as he threw rocks through fifteen year olds. He’s the person who nonchalantly explained to Levi the process of gassing an entire village of unsuspecting civilians and flinging them into an eternal nightmare in order to weaponize their bodies. Zeke’s manipulations are the origin of almost all of Paradis’ problems, whether it’s encouraging Marley to ramp up aggressions or pulling shady shit with Kiyomi, Yelena and the Jaegerists that destabilizes their already vulnerable island. And what’s worse - because we’re reading a story where torn-up characters are often excused by circumstances of coercion or perceived necessity - he doesn’t care. He feels no remorse. He wants to do this. Levi doesn’t know Zeke’s ultimate reasoning of course, but he recognized through the smoke of the campfire a man who doesn’t give a fuck about the wishes and agency of others. Who will force his own will on a race of humans and call it mercy. AND YET, Levi stays with him for  A WHOLE MONTH in the forest bringing him books, drinks and a pillow to sit on. He keeps asking him about what happened in Connie’s village trying over and over to understand him. And then the guy transforms Levi’s own teammates in front of him, forces him to kill them and taunts him with their suffering. Levi perceives a person who’s arrogant enough to consider his cruelty compassion as he decides whether the lives of their children are worth living.YET, Levi decided to keep him alive because he believed that it is what’s the best for Paradis; a decision that eventually caused Levi’s severe injuries and the activation of the Rumbling!

During the final battle, Levi offered to act as a bait for Mikasa so she can try to bring back Armin and risks his life TWICE to save Jean and Connie risking his chances to ever fulfill his promise to Erwin.

Please tell me now that these are actions of an “obsessed” man who is only focused on killing Zeke and revenge.

The first time Levi mentions the vow after the time skip, he says: “Erwin, I think I will be finally able to fulfill the vow I made to you that day. Your deathS had meaning. At last I will be able to prove it”  Levi clearly associates giving meaning to his comrades’ deaths WITH fulfilling his vow to Erwin. This is the line that proves that the vow has always meant something more.

Levi made a promise that came to represent the fulfillment of the goal all his former Survey Corps comrades laid down their lives for. Slaying the Beast Titan took on symbolic stature, a tangible way of giving their sacrifices meaning - especially in a world where the circumstances had drastically shifted and enemies, allies, and other were suddenly seen from a completely different perspective.

In Ch. 136, Levi remembers his friends and reflects upon their sacrifices and what they meant. They did not sacrifice their lives to “trample the lives and hearts of others”.

We never got a SINGLE panel in which he says that he fulfilled his promise! In the last apparition of his fallen comrades, Erwin isn’t even in the center. He salutes his fallen comrades for devoting their hearts for humanity and they salute him back for honoring their sacrifices.

If there is one thing that Levi was “obsessed” about, it is him trying to give meaning to the deaths and sacrifices of the people who truly devoted their hearts to humanity and whom he truly loved

[nikrangdan]

cafeworker!ni-ki

pairing: cafeworker!ni-ki x female reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: the cashier at the new coffee shop was so adorable you just couldn’t resist visiting just for him

**did not proofread

————

contrary to popular belief, you were NOT a social person

whenever you were around friends and family, you were always the loudest person there

like SHUT UP Y/N!!!!!!

anyways although you were loud, people still enjoyed being around you because you had such a sweet soul and interesting humor

everyone close to you knew that you hated talking to people you didnt know

but to all the strangers? no

they would think you were an outgoing ready-to-meet-new-people extrovert

which was so, so wrong

but ALAS, you had to talk strangers almost everyday living in 2020

(well lets pretend we arent in the middle of a pandemic right now)

moving on......

so you were in high school at the downfall of your existence

you used to have so many friends when you were younger ..now you only have like 3

and those three were always busy (busy making up excuses thats for sure) so you never really hung out with them outside of school

and on one fine evening after school you decided to visit the new cafe 5 minutes from your house

u were really excited because all the cafes were 15 minutes from your house so now u could just walk to this one if u wanted to !!!

but yeah it was in the middle of a small plaza that had cute buildings

you pulled up to the parking lot and was just about to get out the car when u remembered..

u have to talk to the cashier :/

who’s a stranger! even more ://

it was always so weird to you.. whenever you went out you always had someone else order for you because you just hated talking to strangers

you just felt uncomfortable and you couldnt help it

its not like you have never ordered for yourself but you would always prefer not to

and now that you think about it

this is the first time you have gone out by yourself

you did text one of your friends beforehand but they said they “had homework to do”

LIES!!!!

but you really wanted to try the coffee so you just ran with it

time to face your fears!

you opened the glass door to reveal a cute looking cafe, like the ones you’d see in movies

you loved it already

glancing to the cashier you’d have to be talking to—

hold on

you had to do a double take because WOAH.....

the cashier...

he....

wow..

you have never seen a boy like that in your life

you stood there for like 3 seconds before coming to your senses and standing infront of the menu

that was infrONT OF HIM

“hi, what can i get for you?”

HIS VOICE OH MY GOD..!?!?!

“oh um.. can i get a second to .. look..?”

“yeah of course,” he gestured to the menu on the wall above him

hes so nice u almost cried

your eyes shakily traveled up to the chalkboard menu and u began to ‘read’ the options

its like u could feel his eyes on u WTF!!!!

um um um *internally keyboard smashes*

you couldnt even think

the words on the menu were like gibberish

the ONE time u go out by yourself

this had to happen.. of course! someone had it out for you, you were sure of it >:(

picking a random drink you gave him your order

“uh can i have an iced caramel macchiato?”

ITS LIKE YOU CANT SAY A SENTENCE WITHOUT UH OR UM

u cant help but think hes judging you

he looks like that while u are standing there in old sweatpants your dads tshirt

“sure, what size?” he looks into your eyes after putting your order into the machine

god you felt your heart stop

his Eyes..... theyre so beautiful

“oh um regular” you attempted to give a small smile

hopefully it looked like one

“okay that’ll be $5.12.”

you dug out some cash from your bag and handed it to him

he gave u your change and gave u a small smile

“your drink will be out in a minute”

AAAAA

he went :)

he is so CUTE.....?!?!

he looked around your age too

sigh... you knew he was way out of your league though

you were gushing over him but he probably thought you were just another boring customer

while waiting u sat at one of the 2 person tables on your phone

and u IMMEDIATELY went to text your groupchat

‘GUYS’

‘AT THE CAFE NEAR MY HOUSE’

‘CUTEST BOY IVE EVER SEEN EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE’

‘WTF IM GONNA CRY HOW DOES HE EXIST’

‘WAIT BRB HE S COMIBBG’

you tried to quickly put your phone down without looking suspicious when you saw him walking towards you with a drink in his hand

“here you go, enjoy” he said before swiftly making his way back to the counter and talking to the other worker there

wow... hes so mesmerizing

you’d steal glances at him every now and then while taking sips of your drink

you were sitting there for like 20 minutes before you noticed you finished your drink

you totally forgot you came here to see how good their coffee was

it was good by the way

sadly it was your time to leave

taking one last glance at him, you threw away your empty cup and walked out the door

wow

u cant believe you got to witness the most beautiful human being ever

in your small town?? crazy

you were sitting in your car just thinking

WAIT

U DIDNT EVEN KNOW HIS NAME!

you mentally punched yourself but then you started laughing

what does knowing his name even matter, its not like u were ever going to talk to him anyway

LOL

*sad emoji*

but the coffee was good so you definitely planned to go back

and not just because of the cute boy

...unless....

*time skip*

the next day you went there was a week later at the same time in hopes that he was working the same shift

AND HE WAS!!!!

score! 1 for y/n, 0 for umm... any other person who had a crush on him too i guess

the cafe didnt have too many people since it was fairly new and also in a small part of the city

so when you went in, you were the only one there along with the two workers

“welcome, what would you like to order?”

NOT THIS AGAIN

he looked even cuter today

his messy blond hair almost covered his eyes

you shouldve forced your friend to come with you this time

you ordered the same thing as last time but this time he asked for your name

hmmm

“um y/n” you answered

your heart was always beating 2 times as fast whenever you had to talk to him

he wrote it down on the cup and after you paid, you went to sit down at the same spot as last time

looking at him is literally the highlight of your day

the same thing happened as last time, he came over and gave you your drink without giving u a second glance

>:((((

boooo look at me cute boy

nonetheless u continued going to the cafe at the same time as much as u could which was like three times a week

literally over a month later and u dont think anythings going to happen

u punch yourself for thinking the boy would somehow find interest in you

hes still indifferent to you which isn’t surprising since you’ve never made any kind of move

ever

but

he should know u by now

hopefully..

*time skip again*

it was a saturday

at this point you’ve basically given up on having a crush on him and now since its become a routine u just say you go for the coffee

not really paying attention to your surroundings you dont notice that the boy at the cash register isnt the normal one you see almost everyday

“hey, what would you like to order?”

woah WHAT

you look up from your bag to notice a boy that was definitely not the one that normally stood infront of it at this time

and you also noticed something on this new cashier

a name tag

how come your old little crush didnt have one????

this new boys name was ‘jay’ and he was fairly cute too

looking around the corner at the other worker u noticed he has a name tag too

you recognized him because he was always working when the cute boy was at the cash register

his name was ‘heeseung’

after taking in these new additions you answered to jay

“oh um.. can i ge-,”

“she gets an iced caramel macchiato. her name is y/n”

??!<_|#%[>~€\£~

you whipped your head around so fast to see who said that behind you

was it who you thought it was ??!??!

YES IT WAS!!!!

OH MYGOD

ITS HIM

you widened your eyes at the boy who wasnt wearing his normal black and white uniform

instead he was wearing black ripped jeans and a gray hoodie

wow....... and u thought he couldnt look any better

BUT OMG?? HE REMEMBERS U

“oh wow ni-ki, you know her?” the boy named jay asked him

“uh yeah.. shes a regular” he said before walking to stand next to you

NI-KI

HIS NAME IS NI-KI OHMHGOD

u thought his name fit him perfectly its so CUTE

“are you gonna get something too?”

this whole time you were silent because.. what is going on

your heart was being SO fast you thought that everyone could hear it

“yup, can i get the same thing? also im paying for both of us”

WHAT??/):)/$;##\%|

ur eyes widened even more it looked like they were gonna pop out of its sockets

u unconsciously leaned towards the boy next you and kind of put your hands up

“w-what?? oh um no, you dont have to do that” you nervously said to him as he looked down at you

he kind of had a smile on his face

“i want to.”

there is no way this is happening

“oiiii ni-ki” jay chuckled while punching in numbers on the cash register

“ill have both of your drinks out soon, you two kids have fun!” jay said before turning around to face heeseung

WHAT??!!??!

your jaw almost dropped from shock

millions of thoughts ran through your brain and you couldnt even process anything

u cant believe this was happening

it was like a wattpad story or something.. is this how u meet ur soulmate

your thoughts were interrupted by a hand on your back momentarily and u look to see ni-ki shyly grinning and gesturing u towards a table

no way...

you awkwardly follow him to a 2 person table next to wall and sit down

you literally could not hear anything except for the pounding of your heart

“uh sorry about that...” he rubbed his neck and sheepishly smiled

“im ni-ki by the way”

“y/n...” u felt so awkward u wanted to cry

“agh, im really sorry if that was weird.. i just didnt know how to ask you out.....” he trailed off

*passes out*

IM JOKING

Ok but u felt ur heart stop bc NO WAY

“wait what??” u ask, ur eyes bigger than the moon

“um yeah... haha i took the day off today to try to talk to you.. sorry if that was weird..”

HE WAS SO AWKWARD JUST LIKE YOU IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER

“no its okay!! im glad actually...”

“really? so is it okay if we hang out?” he asked excitedly

u did not think u could handle HOW CUTE THIS BOY WAS O M G...

“of course! sorry if im kind of awkward though” you gave a small smile

“its okay, i think i am too”

you two began talking about the cafe and where you went to school

turns out even though you two lived in the same town (literally 5 minutes away from eachother) u went to different schools for some reason

u talked for like 2 minutes before jay walked up with your drinks

“hows it going guys?”

“its doing good bro, now go away..” ni-ki lightly shoved jay and laughed

you giggled at the sight

jay looked offended and came right back

“that is not how you talk to your elders ni-ki! y/n do you see this?!” he scoffed

ni-ki just rolled his eyes and turned back to you

“do not ignore me young man!” jay joked

“oh y/n, ive heard all about you from ni-ki over here by the way.”

ni-ki’s eyes got so big you almost got worried

he turned around so fast and gave jay one of those ‘i swear if you say anything ur dead meat’ looks

jay obviously did not care

“hes always like ‘y/n this y/n that’ blah blah im glad he finally got the balls to ask you out because im honestly sick of hearing it!” jay laughed

u were blushing so hard

NI-KI LIKED U????

this felt like a dream

ni-ki pushed jay away so hard and turned back with red cheeks

awe

but yeah that was the beginning of the cutest relationship ever

u and ni-ki were so cute together <333

you’d always visit him during ur free time

it took like 2 months before u two made it official tho

and he was the sweetest boyfriend ever

[arminbitchlover]

reincarnated lovers (1)

armin arlert x f!reader

summary: in their past life, reader and armin's love journey is cut short with the tragic death of reader from a deadly plague. now, they are once again reunited, but somehow everything feels wrong between them.

word count: 2.5k

content warnings: death

1349

"Armin... it hurts." You dazed off and felt nothing but sharp pains all over your body.

Your throat was dangerously dry, and your stomach grumbled from the lack of food you couldn't properly digest. You suffered from the feeling of a knife being pushed into your lungs and when you tried to pick up your head, black dots overtook your fuzzy vision. Every time you tried to move a muscle, the pain would exponentially heighten, and experienced your abdomen compress with an exorbitant amount of pressure.

"N-no please don't leave me yet. What about all our plans together? Going to the beautiful forest behind the hills for our anniversary next week, building a house to move in together, getting married, a-and start a family..." Armin's voice cracked as tears cascaded down his cheek and dripped onto your arm.

You sensed a soft warm hand grab yours which caused your heartbeat to quicken as you felt it coarse throughout your body.

This is the end.

You knew this was your last few moments on earth with your soulmate. It was over so fast. Too fast. You couldn't believe you wouldn't be able to fill the promises you made with your lover. This was your only and last chance at this life, and it was over in nineteen years, only four of them being spent with the person you thought you would grow old with

"Stay away... get sick..." You jerked your arm away from Armin unaware that you didn't feel the need to chug a gallon of water to quench your throat and that the nauseating feeling from hunger completely vanished as you kept slipping in and out of consciousness.

"Don't do this shit to me right now, I'm staying by your side no matter what." He lightly caressed your face not caring about the black lumps that engrossed your skin.

He knew he would become infected sooner or later and understood that this would be it for you even though he couldn't find it in himself to believe it.

"I-I-I'm sorry." You felt the back of your throat get knotted up but couldn't produce any tears.

You slowly moved your hand back down to your side, not feeling the aching pain that had taken over your body, as you barely brushed his fingertips.

"Baby, what are you apolo... not your fault." He looked down to your palm and intertwined his fingers with your cold limp hand. He trailed his eyes back up to your face and saw your closed eyes.

"Y/n?" His breathing became shallow and irregular as he gently shook your body in an attempt to bring you back to consciousness.

You lightly squeezed his hand with the last bit of energy you had in you; letting him know that you were still with him.

This isn't the last time... swear to you we'll find each other again... I'll... protect you. I lo..."

And that was it.

The last words you heard.

Passing away was more peaceful than you imagined. It was just like going to sleep, except you knew that you wouldn't wake up with Armin by your side.

...we'll find each other again...

His last words kept replaying in your mind before your brain completely shut off. It made you happy. He made you happy. You died happy knowing that there was a chance to meet him again, but who are you kidding, this was it. It's over now.

Right?

Present Day

"I don't know if going on a date is the best thing to do right now, Sasha. I just got out of a three-year relationship with Jean and that was really rough." You grab a bag of chips and plop yourself onto your bed.

"Comeeee onnnnnn, y/n, I think you would really get along with this guy. I mean he's smart and kind anddddddddd has a pretty face!" She walks up to you and quickly steals a chip from you.

"Hey! Well as tempting as your mystery man sounds, my professors decided to assign a shitload of work, so I have to get busy." You pull out the box of textbooks from under your bed as you mentally prepare yourself for a draining weekend.

"Ugh, you're hopeless. Well, I'm going with Niccolo for a while, so have fun with... that! But if you change your mind, I'll text you his number." She grabs a Twinkie and skips out of your dorm room.

You figure that maybe she's somewhat right, but you know it's too soon to go out with another person. You and Jean had been together since high school and only broke up because you agreed that both of you needed time to find yourselves in college. It's very apparent that you still have some type of feelings for him even if it isn't love and it certainly didn't help that he goes to the same school as you.

But it is college. Even though the love you have towards Jean is still slightly there, maybe going out with another person was what you need to get over him. Even then, you wasted all your high school years getting good grades and being an A+ student that you never got to enjoy yourself and you weren't going to mess it up again. Besides what's the worst thing that could happen?

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

roomie <3

Today 5:12 PM

can you send me his number

AHH I KNEW IT

here ya go ;)

contact sent

ur a pain but thank u

you better tell me how it

goes!!

duhh

love u

love you moreee

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

While gazing at the contact, you can't quite explain the feeling you have in your stomach and could only call it excitement, but why?

You're just going out with a guy you've never even met before and for all you know, he could be some creepy perv who just wants to make you feel extremely uncomfortable for his own liking. You giggle to yourself as you keep on thinking of worst-case scenarios and become very aware of how in need you are of getting out of your dorm.

You sit and stare at your phone, wondering how to text someone who may not even remember his conversation about you with Sasha. But fuck it, it was just a date.

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Maybe: Armin Arlert

Today 5:20

hey armin, i'm y/n and i don't

if you recall giving your number

to sasha but she said we would make

a great match so i would love to go

out with you later today !

Hey y/n, I do recall Sasha

talking about you and everything

so I would be honored to take you out! (:

Do you want to go out for

a coffie in about an hour?

yeah, that sounds great !

We can meet at the library.

alright, see you then (:

Read 5:31

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You feel your face warm up, excited to finally do something out of school and maybe have the possibility to meet someone who could be special. You waste no time sitting around, given that you had only an hour to look your best, and got ready.

You have ten minutes to spare after prepping yourself and decide to walk to the library a bit early. You head out of your dorm, still in disbelief that you're going out with someone who was a stranger. It's definitely more of an exhilarating feeling than a nervous one; this would be the second person you've ever gone out with, Jean being your first and only partner and you have to admit that you feel good. You could feel yourself growing as a person even if this was just a silly first date that could potentially mean nothing.

You make your way to the front of the library and right when you were about to open the door you hear your name being softly called out. You turn around and see a blonde boy with a blue-collar shirt and khakis.

Damn, you have no idea who this boy is and you don't care, but why is someone this gorgeous calling out to you? His doll-like skin complexion looks so soft and smooth while his shirt matches his blue eyes perfectly, and his khakis just adding on to his soft persona.

"Are you y/n?" He snaps you out of your thoughts and back to reality.

"Oh, um yes, and you're Armin? How did you know it was me?" You can't keep your eyes off of him. This is the mystery man that Sasha fixed you up with and, fuck, he's more beautiful than you could've pictured.

"Sasha showed me pictures of the two of you and I must say you're more stunning in person." His cheeks turn into a bright pink as he looks down, feeling as if he's embarrassing himself.

"Thank you and you're a lot more attractive than I ever imagined." You give him a friendly smile when he looks back up as he hears your compliment.

"The uh coffee shop is not far off-campus so we can walk if you like." He rubs the back of his neck, unsure how to begin your date.

"Yeah, that sounds great." You both walk together in awkward silence, not knowing how to start a chat with each other.

"So, Armin, what are you majoring in?" You turn your head towards him, but Armin seems to not want to make any eye contact with his hands in his pockets.

"Oceanography."

"That's cool, have you always loved the ocean or are you just experimenting with different fields?" You try to carry on with the conversation, hoping he would open up to your about his studies at the least.

"I've always loved the ocean."

"Are the classes you're taking pretty difficult?" You feel your face heat up as he continues to be difficult about continuing your attempted dialogue.

"No."

You start losing your patience with this boy. It frustrates you that no matter what you did he can't try to at least engage in the conversation. You knew from the beginning that this could've been a disaster, but it hadn't even started, and it's already exasperating.

You start to genuinely think of ideas to bail yourself out before it could get any worse, but no, you're going to finish this date whether it's awful or not and move on with your life. You told yourself you were evolving as a person and to bail would only be taking you a step back from the new you.

"How do you know Sasha," you ask him, making it your last-ditch effort to start a conversation as you arrive at the coffee shop.

"We met through a mutual friend at a party." He opens the door for you and both of you enter the cafe.

You and Armin are kindly greeted by the barista as you walk to to the cashier. Both of you order your drinks and sit at a table that's next to the glass wall.

"So, did you meet Sasha because you're dorm mates?" He finally ignites some type of conversation as he fidgets with his fingers.

"We actually somewhat knew each other through my ex-boyfriend and we randomly got paired to be dorm mates." You grin to yourself, thinking about how close you and Sasha got over the year.

Even if it was a bitter-sweet moment mentioning Jean, that you realize may not have been the best thing to do. You hear you and Armin's name being called, but right when you're about to get up Armin quietly spoke, "Stay here, I got it."

You watch him get up from his seat and walk back over to the cashier. He pulls out his brown leather wallet, pays for both of your drinks, and makes his way back to the table with a cup in each hand.

"Thank you for paying, you really didn't have to do that." You feel your cheeks get hot as you grab your drink, slightly grazing his fingers.

"It was no biggie." He shrugs his shoulder and slumps back to his seat.

Subsequently, the awkward silence is back, but a lot stronger than before. You can't understand why it's so difficult to get along with him if this was the date where you're supposed to get to know each other and have endless topics to discuss. You keep reassuring yourself that this would be over soon anyway and now you know that Armin just isn't the one for you and you're completely fine with that. At this point, you only see Armin as the boy you went on the most awkward date with and didn't even picture him as a friend.

"Sorry about this, I've never done anything like this before," he mumbles while tapping on the side of his cup, not wanting to look at you because he felt ashamed.

"O-oh, don't stress about it too much, it's my first date after getting out of my relationship so we're on the same boat." You both exchange warmhearted smiles, trying to break the tension but nothing seems to work.

"We can go back to campus. I have some assignments I need to finish up anyways," he suggests and you feel the weight being lifted off your shoulders. Even though Armin seems like a great person, both of you assume that your wavelengths couldn't match, and it was just best to end it.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I also need to catch up on schoolwork as well." Both of you grab your drinks and head back to school without trying to strike a conversation, knowing that it would just make the tension even more awkward.

As soon as you make it back to your dorm, you must say that you never feel happier to arrive in your shitty box.

"Well, thank you for the coffee and I hope you have a great weekend."

"Yeah, you too." You both wave bye and you walk into your dorm, feeling displeased.

While you didn't expect your date to be completely perfect and for you and Armin to fall in love, this was by far the last thing you wanted to happen.

It didn't take long for you to forget what had transpired as you change to comfortable clothes and start heavily working on your assignments. While you were finishing up on one of your worksheets, you feel your phone vibrate and see a text from Sasha.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

roomie <3

love you moreee

Today 7:47

you better still have some energy

left in you

??

i'm heading back to get dressed

cause we're going to go PARTYYYY

oh god sasha

i don't do well at parties

pleaseeeeee

i can introduce you to my friends

they're really cool

okayyy sure

so get dolled up

i'll be there soon <3

alright

Read 7:53

next chapter | series masterlist

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Do you think BigHit pays attention to how much things to show to be able to "please" each ship, esp the maknae ships? For example, If a run ep/any content showed a little bit more of vmin, it will somehow highlight jikook or taekook next. For sure, the boys are not faking their interactions, but do u think BigHit consciously monitor these interactions and edit it in a way that can avoid violent reactions from diff ship groups? Sorry I cannot word this ask well. 😕 I'd love to hear ur thoughts.

Thank you so much for the amazing question! And your wording was really good and clear so don’t worry about that.

I think the first major thing we need to remember is that BH is a company, and a company’s main purpose, above all else, is to generate revenue. Which isn’t a bad thing in this case seeing as, depending on how much BH makes, so do the members since their contracts, compared to others in the same industry, have some great percentages in their favor.

With that in mind, the answer to your question is a very simple and straight forward yes. BH monitors and plans things accordingly to please (paying) costumers, in the context of this answer, shippers. Fan service and showing certain interactions in certain ways are a great marketing tool that every idol agency uses for decades now, it isn’t anything new or revolutionary in any shape or form, though it’s clear that the type of fan service the BTS members do nowadays has changed in comparison to earlier years, like Jimin being required to perform shirtless at an award show.

In the context of this answer when using “ship”, I simply mean two members interacting with each other and are liked together by a certain community of people, and not actual pairs that have (in my opinion) chances or signs of being real (in a romantic sense) at all, except for vmin and namjin, since those are the only two we see as fulfilling that criteria of romantic potential and are the only two we focus on on this account. But that at large is a post/discussion for another time.

When it comes to showing different interactions between ships, or even really any kind of duo or trio in the group, editing and what does and doesn’t get shown certainly plays a role and follows some kind of idea as well. A good example of that would be how following the release of Dynamite there was a bigger “focus” on J*k*ok, seeing as they had their own moment together in the choreography and we were shown more of their interactions/”moments” in content around that time. But, while that satisfied one major ship and its devotees, it didn’t satisfy another, so it needed to be balanced out. Which is exactly what BH did.

More below the cut since this got a little long:

If you look at the Break the Silence: Persona movie commentary done by the members, the maknaes sit together in the middle of the sofa (and the screen) with JK between vmin, meaning that both major ships could pay attention to their two members and be “pleased” at the same time by any and all interactions or “moments”. A counter argument to moments involving all three of them working in a positive manner would be the Dynamite performance at Jimmy Fallon (x) that ended with the members skating around on roller-skates where at one point the maknaes were together, JK holding Tae’s wrist while Jimin had his hands on Tae’s hips (?). It was a cute and funny moment of them just helping Tae since he can’t skate, but it caused a plethora of negative/awful reactions among those who ship one and the other “main” maknae ship with, in both cases, either Jimin or Tae being on the receiving end of awful accusations, insults, and alike. Then again, to balance out J*k*ok Dynamite content, we can look at the BE-hind Story video where JK and Tae sat together and were seen interacting more, while Jimin interacted more with Yoongi, where Yo*nm*n is also a rather popular ship.

Perhaps it sounds mean or calculated or like I’m badmouthing other ships as just “tools”, but the thing we have to keep in mind is that every piece of content is planned in a certain manner (BTS are seven people after all so you can’t just tell them to do something and hope it’ll just magically work out somehow), is filmed by a giant crew of staff from stylists to PDs and lighting crews, and while there are certainly also genuine interactions between the members, simply because they enjoy spending together and interacting, being close and have no issue touching each other etc, many of these things are not really anything that would really count as “intimate” moments due to the nature of the content itself. But shippers oftentimes ignore that in favor of enjoying whatever content of their ship they are given, which makes sense, as vminnies and namjinists we do too, but we also know that BH certainly has a hand in what is and isn’t shown, and the way in which it is shown.

Look at the trailer for Memories of 2019 and the famous J*k*ok moment that was front and center. From a marketing standpoint it was a genius move since it made sure that shippers would go and buy the DVD regardless of its price. Look at what we’ve gotten for Winter Package 2021 so far, J*k*ok being playful in the trailer, T*ek*ok squished together in the picture on IG, and J*k*ok next to each other, along with Seokjin, in the preview pictures on Weverse. Of course, there was also a picture of Yoongi and Hoseok together (a popular ship) as well as Namjoon with Yoongi and Namjoon with Tae (far less popular), but those three aren’t really selling arguments the way the major maknae ships are. Even vmin isn’t, seeing as the vmin community is much, much smaller than the other two maknae ships, and also vmin moments are often times written off as ‘friends’ interacting anyway and thus not taken seriously (or being paid attention to), if you know what I mean.

(Admin 1: I, for one, would really love to own the 5th Muster DVD because I love the concert itself but also because the famous vmin dancing together to Spring Day sequence is immortalized in picture form in the photobook, so I’m not innocent or “different” in any way since I fall for this marketing stuff just as much as everyone else.)

But on the other hand, there’s also content that isn’t as controlled by BH as pre-recorded and edited videos or DVD’s, as in their vlives or live content, like the BE/LGO release day vlive in pajamas where, sure, the members were given a general plan of what they’ll be doing and a timeframe for it, but certain things seemed more spur-of-the-moment and unplanned, like the vmin lipstick moment (Tae putting on the lipstick was planned, but the final executions likely wasn’t) and the way the other members reacted to it. Or things they do at concerts, which some of it is surely also rehearsed and planned, we saw Hoseok ask JK if he’d do a heart with him at some point during one of the concerts, as example, or Tae and Seokjin planning their typical moment that happened at every concert, but other ones are more in the moment and not controlled.

When it comes to concert DVDs, that is again a different story seeing as a camera can only show as much at a time, so the editors are presented all the footage from the concert and then decide which to show and which not. So, if we see an interaction between JK and Hoseok, for example, at the same time somewhere else Namjoon might be dancing with Seokjin or vmin could be doing something, but we’d simply never know since they can’t show us everything.

That, in a way, is also the case with actual concerts where there’s a difference, somewhat, between concerts that get filmed for DVDs or streamed online, and those that are not. Something that comes to mind would be a vmin moment during Best of Me in Busan on the day that didn’t get filmed where they skipped the first half of the choreography and vmin stood together, half of that sequence being just visible in the background while JK is the primary focus of the cameras that are shown on the side screens, and this whole thing only happened this one time and never again. (x) That’s a moment that, in my opinion, isn’t planned, or other similar moments where vmin change the choreographies (even if just a little) to do something together, like during Spring Day during WINGS Tour Final where Jimin adjusted his solo moment so that he ended up in front of Tae. (x)

There’s also this whole mythos I’ve heard/read about a lot about how supposedly at some of the not filmed Japanese concerts (where I’m not sure if people mean LY:SY or just LY) had some crazy moments between the members (in the sense of “ship” moments and alike) BUT I couldn’t find any proof of that, so if someone perhaps knows anything about this, let me know.

Finally, there’s also things like Bon Voyage and In the SOOP which, you’d expect that they would be less edited and less controlled, but even here a selection takes place of which scenes are shown and which are not. Something I find interesting is how the first half of In the SOOP feels very different to how the second half does when they return to the house after being gone for a few days. In the first half vmin (as well as namjin) seemed to “satellite” around each other and interact much more, playing ping pong or doing things together in some shape or form, but in the second half that was (nearly) completely gone and neither interacted much with each other, if at all. We even had Jimin who outright refused to join Tae and Hoseok on their car adventure, or we saw Seokjin wake up Namjoon to go jogging yet never got to see said jogging happening (if it did happen, that is).

So, to sum all of this up: Yes, BH definitely monitors and guides the way certain things are and aren’t shown in order to achieve certain things or avoid certain reactions, though it’s a complex balancing act and doesn’t always work out. There are things that are unplanned and not controlled, of course, but there’s also a fair amount of marketing play involved. 

After all BTS aren’t rookies anymore, instead they are giant household names and their actions and words move people, move money, and on top of that they are still idols, and part of what it means to be an idol is differentiating between your idol appearance/persona (so what we see in screen) and your personal private life, which is usually kept as secret as only possible. How much they themselves choose to share of their real selves and real feelings toward each other is up to them (as well as up to BH and how much they “allow” them to/don’t edit out). But that, too, is a whole other discussion for another time.

[satendou]

uwu my queen,, my light, my goddess of all things- may i pls request some how they  met/relationship headcanons for suga/reader/akaashi? u don’t need to add smut if u don’t wanna but if u do pls know that i’ll do anything for u (jk id already do anything for u) hemingway ilu and please remember to drink water especially since i know that ur extra extra thirsty ;) 

thank you woml @keijiskitten​ for the self indulgent poly req sksks so bc you love my florist!akaashi au and so do i, he’s a florist in this too! i’m taking hella liberties with reader too fight me.

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶  

↠  requests open | rules

↠ includes: akaashi and sugawara

❀ུ۪   so suga and akaashi meet again when suga goes into his shop to buy congratulatory flowers for one of his coworkers who just had a baby. all of the teachers pitched in for a bouquet and he was recommended akaashi’s flower shop. ❀ུ۪   of course they recognize each other and start chatting about volleyball and how the other team members are doing. amidst chatting about what they’re doing now, they trade numbers and agree to meet up at x time on x day at akaashi’s favorite coffee shop. ❀ུ۪   enter you, a barista at said shop. you know akaashi’s order by heart and as soon as he walks in, are already making it. but you’re surprised to see his pretty new grey haired friend. he’s soft spoken and gentle, and your heart skips a whole beat standing before the two pretty men.

❀ུ۪   suga asks about you, continually glancing at the counter to find you staring back at him, and something in akaashi flares up. he recognizes it as jealousy, but what’s confusing is that it isn’t aimed solely at suga. not that it would be fair anyway, he’s never worked up the nerve to ask for your number or anything. ❀ུ۪   they start meeting up regularly, and you can never guess suga’s order because he bounces between coffee in the morning and tea in the evening, never the same-- sometimes it’s just an espresso, sometimes iced coffee, sometimes soothing chamomile, or sometimes just black. ❀ུ۪   behind the scenes, the friendship that blooms between them is based on quiet nights in, chatting about highschool at first then segueing into what they did during college and so on, and they’re more than capable of getting rowdy but after a long day at work, they just want to relax. ❀ུ۪   the attraction is there right off the bat-- how could it not be? look at them, come on-- and the feelings follow soon after when suga shows up at akaashi’s apartment unannounced with takeout and a fresh cup of his favorite tea in a to-go cup, a little message from you written on the receipt. and when suga comes down with the flu, courtesy of the children he takes care of throughout the day, akaashi takes it upon himself to check up on him throughout the week, making sure he’s cared for regardless of the risk. ❀ུ۪   maybe he falls asleep on suga’s couch more than once, maybe he doesn’t. ❀ུ۪   at some point, suga asks for your number and akaashi asks as well. both men are blushing as you hand it to them and your instant thought is oh no because you’ve come to like them both and if the looks on their faces is anything to go by, they both like you too. ❀ུ۪   cue some slight panic on all your parts. ❀ུ۪   of course they sit down and talk it out because they’re both rational adults and it naturally comes down to who would get to ask you out. akaashi concedes mostly because he “had his chance” before suga came along. suga is a little hesitant because his feelings for akaashi friendship with akaashi is important so while he does* ask you on a date there’s a lingering feeling of guilt. ❀ུ۪   and then at the end of said date he walks you home and you tell him you had a lot* of fun but confess that you like akaashi as well and are too confused right now and don’t want to lead him on. it’s like a weight was lifted off his shoulders and he tentatively confesses that he likes akaashi as well and he’s never seen someone’s eyes go so wide. ❀ུ۪   akaashi’s face when he comes into the coffee shop the next day at an invitation from suga is priceless because you’re sitting next to him at their usual table instead of behind the counter like normal. he’s positive you’re going to let him down easy and tell him the two of you’ve decided to date, and he’s already preparing to tell you how happy he is for the two of you. ❀ུ۪   “so, we have a confession--” ❀ུ۪   he cuts suga off, saying, “i’m really happy for the two of you,” and is then confused when you giggle and give him an exasperated look. ❀ུ۪   “we did go on a date and will again,” you said, holding your finger up when he goes to interrupt you again. “but we’d really like it if you went with us. if you want.” ❀ུ۪   akaashi is Confused™ and looking between the two of you waiting for an explanation, and suga picks up by explaining the conversation last night. of course, there’s some trepidation because akaashi hasn’t been overt about his feelings for suga, but the friday nights spent at their houses, watching their friends volleyball games has given suga at least some indication, so he’s pretty secure. ❀ུ۪   mostly. ❀ུ۪   the relief on akaashi’s face is adorable and the smile he gives you is bright. he agrees and, since you’re already together, you decide to go on your first official date. it isn’t too special, going to the botanical garden in the park because you and suga have been curious for a while and, well, who better to go with than a florist? ❀ུ۪   he spends a lot of time telling you about all the flowers and their meanings and suga has a surprising amount of knowledge as well, just because he’s a teacher and from spending time with akaashi. you get dinner together and talk a little more about how this might work before deciding to just let it be. ❀ུ۪   there’s not a lot of jealousy between the three of you because you’re always together. they show up at the coffee shop after your shift ends-- if they can, it depends-- and you’ll go get dinner together. or if your shift is at a strange time, they’ll still stop by and spend a bit of time before going home. ❀ུ۪   you also twist akaashi’s arm-- you don’t have to twist very hard, mind you-- into showing you how to make the bouquets he’s so well known for. after the shop closes, he helps you pick out the flowers for the bouquets you want to make and spend a few hours together in the little workshop in the back of the store. it’s how he confesses his love to you, actually. he won’t tell you what his flowers mean, teasing that you’ll just have to look it up, so suga picks up the book on the counter while akaashi conveniently goes to attend to something in the main area and after pouring over the book, you both turn bright red before tackling him in hugs. ❀ུ۪   sometimes, after the three of you start spending the nights together, suga ends up staying up late to grade papers. akaashi is naturally a night owl, so it’s no surprise he stays up to help him on those nights. he supplies the coffee, and there’s quiet conversation between the two of them about whatever. sometimes you join them, sometimes you go to bed, and sometimes you fall asleep on the couch waiting for them, and one of them will carry you to bed. ❀ུ۪   being with them is pretty easy. they’re both good at communicating so, so long as you remember to tell them when something is wrong, it’s rare to have an actual fight. there are the usual temper flare ups and tiffs that come with long nights or bad days or when someone says the wrong thing, of course, but actual arguments aren’t common. ❀ུ۪   so when it comes around that it’s been almost a year of being together, it’s kind of a surprise. ❀ུ۪   “our anniversary is coming up soon,” akaashi says one night while you’re laying in suga’s bed together. he’s in between the two of you, his head on your chest while suga is curled against his back. ❀ུ۪  “what’s it been, four months?” you tease, knowing full well it’s been a lot longer than that. ❀ུ۪   suga snorts in amusement, reaching out to lace his fingers with akaashi’s, which is tracing patterns on your stomach. “very funny. try a year. i can’t believe it’s been so long. what should we do?” ❀ུ۪   so you decide to return to the botanical garden, since it was the place you went for your first date. they happen to be having a special exhibit for some rare plants, and afterwards you go to dinner at a more upscale restaurant. it’s there you casually mention that you have to renew your lease on your apartment in a few months, and that starts some thoughts. ❀ུ۪   they talk about it amongst themselves first, later on while you’re at work, just so that if one of them isn’t ready, you aren’t hurt. of course they are ready, with a sly comment from suga about how he was ready after the first date just to watch akaashi turn bright red, and bring it up to you when they next see you. which is later that night because none of you spend the night alone at that point. ❀ུ۪   it’s just a matter of where and since akaashi lives above his shop alone and it’s a whole apartment by itself, it’s already decided that that’s where you’ll move into. the look on your face is hysterical when they bring it up to you because as soon as you walked through the door they said, “we have to talk, ____,” and of course you were afraid that they were going to break up with you. ❀ུ۪   no one likes those words, seriously. ❀ུ۪   but of course they just tell you they were talking about moving in together and whether you would be alright with it and are surprised when you knock suga off his chair and to the floor-- he was the one closest to you, rip suga-- with a laugh. ❀ུ۪   since everyone’s stuff is interspersed amongst your apartments at that point, you spend a lot of time gathering that stuff up and moving it to akaashi’s apartment. suga cheerfully expresses how easy it’s going to be to move out of his apartment when his lease is up and enjoys the glowing smiles he receives. ❀ུ۪   a bigger bed is in order, for sure, and you and suga insist on upgrading his coffeepot. when suga’s lease is finally up is when the move in is complete and, even though he’s come home to it countless times before, there’s a different feeling when he comes in that night to the sound of your laughter, the tv on in the background, and the smell of cooking food all filling the air. ❀ུ۪   now, he thinks, it feels like home.

↠ masterlist

[darling-i-read-it]

Reputations

Billy Hargrove x reader

Word Count: 1.2k 

Warnings: billy liking girls 

Author’s Note: I really liked how this turned out so I hope you do too darling! I literally thought this was gonna be shit and then it wasn’t and I’m very happy with that. Thank you for being so kind 

Requested: by anon, hiii if ur still taking requests for ST i was gonna ask if u could do smthg w billy where he falls for the new girl and shes like shy and a goody goody and she doesnt trust him cuz of his reputation but he tries to prove how he’ll be different w her ❤️🥰 love ur writing btw x

Summary: the request

Genre: fluff

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

(not my gif)

    You were a mystery to Hawkins High.

    And it was rather known that Billy Hargrove wasn’t keen on mysteries. 

    He liked to know things and he liked to be in charge of them. You were no different. He enjoyed the look of you, pretty and sweet looking. You caught his eye for sure. You tried so hard to make yourself look like you weren’t there, like you were part of the crowd but you caught his eye. 

    Granted, being a new student was never a walk in the park. You weren’t happy going to Hawkins at first because it was so small. Small high schools were filled to the brim with drama because everyone knew everyone. Word got around fast that you were fresh blood and you could feel the stares from the girls and the even worse stares from the guys.

    You had made a pact with yourself to keep your head low which wasn’t hard. You were already a naturally shy person and you didn’t like being the center of attention. 

    Billy was the first guy who approached you directly.

    You were standing by your locker, grabbing the battered used books from them and looking at your schedule worriedly. 

    “You need help with that?” Billy asked, sliding beside you. He leaned against the locker. You smiled, shrugging.

    “Hargrove right?” 

    “So you’ve heard of me.” 

    “Nancy Wheeler caught me before you could.” He shook his head, a charismatic smile on his face. Nancy had told you who to steer clear of. She was super nice and the first person to lend a hand when you showed up that wasn’t peeking her head in your business. She was nice and you figured you could be good friends with her eventually.

    “Nancy exaggerates. Plus, I was just asking if you wanted help figuring out your schedule.” You looked down at the paper hardly and then back up at him.

    “Fine. I just don’t know where this class is.” You handed it to him and he looked it over, chewing his gum. You watched him and his face flashed with some recognition and joy.

    “We have the next class together.”

    “Damn. Small school.”

    “No, just fate pushing us together.”

    “Hargrove, I’ve heard bad things about you. Things I personally think I should steer clear from,” you said as you started walking in the direction he was. He smiled again and shoved his hands in his jean jacket pockets.

    “I think there are things about me you could grow to like.” 

    You glanced at him and squinted your eyes, trying to decide what you thought about him. 

    “Don’t hold your breath.” 

    You shared that class every day and he made it a point to show up. There was something about you he was infatuated with. He couldn’t tell if it was your nature, your look, your smile. He just enjoyed your presence. 

    He enjoyed it so much that he ignored all the advancements that the other girls made at him. Billy liked seeing you and he liked proving you wrong. Every time some girl sent a note his way he would promptly show you before tearing it into pieces.

    You grew to like him as well, as much as you thought that you shouldn’t. He could be funny and he was quite a looker. He was a highlight of your days.

    It wasn’t until a big Friday night party that anything really happened. You had heard about it from Nancy and she was convincing you to go, telling you that Billy was bound to be there. You were quite excited. You had never been to a really big party before and the prospect of seeing him outside the school was alluring. 

    While you were walking through the party, eyes flued for Billy, he was on your street. He had gotten your address from Steve who had given you a ride once. He figured he could show you by skipping the party he knew you knew about, he could really prove that he was a different guy. 

    “Nancy he isn’t here,” you hissed to her. She looked at the keg and then back at you.

    “He isn’t. Is he alright? Did you hear about him recently?”

    “At school today.” You looked around again, nervously. 

    Billy knocked on your door. Your mom from the looks of it, answered. 

    “Hey, I’m a friend of Y/N’s at school. She's around?” Your mom looked him up and down, clutching her robe.

    “She’s at a party I think.”

    Billy stared ahead for a minute and then a smile grew on his face. He shook his head, biting his lip.   

    “Thank you. I should probably go to that now.” 

    Your mom had heard a bit about him and just let him go without another word. 

    “God I wish I could just call him.”

    “Don’t worry about it,” Nancy said. “I told you he was no good.” 

    You clutched the cup in your hand and shook your head.

    “Maybe you’re right,” you muttered. 

    You walked outside, feeling like you needed to get away from the crowds of people. You walked out to the porch and then just kept walking, to the edge of the driveway. The house was in the middle of a neighborhood but there was no house across from it, just trees. It looked spooky back there and you watched it, taking a bitter drink from your cup. You weren’t sure how you felt about Billy but in hindsight you should have known in actual sight you were worried about him.

    Lost in your thoughts you barely heard the car inching toward you until you saw the headlights. You looked over and it creeped to park in front of you.

    The passenger window rolled down and you bent over to see a familiar face

    “You’re late. I was worried.”

    “Who said I was gonna be here?” Billy asked, smiling. 

    “Your reputation.” He shrugged.

    “What reputation?” 

    You grinned and rolled your eyes.

    “Fine.”

    “Get in.”

[greatfay]

since ur answering asks and shit can u explain what u meant by generational differences in communication

Damn it’s like 2015 tumblr when my inbox used to be WET. So if you’re talking about the controversial opinions post, YES, like I totally understand where people are coming from when they say that generational divides aren’t real (because they aren’t, they’re arbitrary) and distract us from real problems and yes they paint past generations as collectively bigoted when Civil Rights protestors in the 60s (who are in their 70s and 80s now) are mirrors to BLM protestors today, who could be of any age, but the most vocal and famous (at least online, especially irt to the founders, like Patrisse Cullors who is 37.

But how we communicate is sooooo different. I really point to the Internet and Social Media as a major influence in how younger millennials (more Tom Hollands and less Seth Rogans—see even there, I feel like there are two different types of Millennials) and Gen Zrs/Zoomers and even Generation Alpha behave and communicate. We live in a world where we grew up either knowing right out the gate or discovering the hard way that what we say and do has permanence, the kind of permanence that prior generations have never experienced until today. The dumb things kids have been saying since forever can now follow them... forever. We have an inherent understanding of how online spaces work. Compare that to, idk, let’s say you posted on your Facebook (for the first time in 18 months) “All these big and bad grown ass Senators going after actual child Greta Gerwig lol ok, you’re so brave for attacking a CHILD over climate change” and then your aunt, who’s turning “forty-fifteen” in May replies to your post with “So happy to see my passionate niece! Much love from us, hope you’re doing well. Paul is doing great, waiting on his screening results. Tell your mom I said we miss her, we need to get together, we forgive her for last Christmas.”

Like... ok there’s a lot going on there, but your hypothetical aunt is oversharing on a publicly accessible post. And even with the most strict of privacy settings, she’s oversharing where your other Facebook friends (which may include classmates, coworkers, etc.) can see. But she’s saying things that would only be appropriate in a 1-on-1 conversation. This Aunt doesn’t have an understanding of such boundaries, she’s not as technologically literate and hasn’t grown up in a world of Virtual Space, she still gets most of her news from TV, she trusts what a reporter on Channel 4 will read off a script more than what actual video footage of an incident might reveal on Twitter, and she has no clue that she’s been sharing her location data with every post she makes.

There’s such a huge difference. I think it even affects how we experience and express stress and frustration. I think growing up partially in online spaces has made me more accustomed to conflict and consequence-free arguing than someone who never had to worry about that. I’ve been exposed so much to harassment and bullying, triangulating and echo chambers in forums and threads, and vastly opposing point of views at such an early age that it’s had an effect on how I see the world. Compare this to a customer I helped two weeks ago who was looking for a specific type of supplement for children. I found it for her, I handed her exactly what she was looking for, even though her description of the product actually matched several different products; to make sure I’d done my job thoroughly and that she leaves happy and satisfied and doesn’t bother me again, I then show her more products that match her description so that she knows she has options. And she proceeds to freak out, saying “NO, NO, I’M LOOKING FOR [X] AND IT HAS TO BE [XYZ]” and when I say freak out, she looked stressed and PANICKED. And being a retail employee wears you down bit by bit, and add COVID on top of it and little shit like this makes you snap, sometimes. So I have to cut her off like “Why are you screaming and freaking out, jfc you’re holding what you said you wanted. It’s in your hands. I gave you what you wanted, I’m just showing you more things.”

That customer is not an exception, she’s not a unique case. She’s representative of a frightening percentage of her generation, the kids who watched Grease and The Breakfast Club and Ghost in theaters when they were originally released. This is how they communicate and process information. She could not, for some reason, register that her need had been fulfilled, and defaulted to an extreme emotional response when given new and different information.

I’ve yet to deal with someone younger than 35 act the same way, the exceptions being the kids of very wealthy people at my new job who reek of privilege I gag when they walk in—but even they are like *shrugs* “ok whatever” and understanding when there’s something I can’t do for them.

Me: “sorry, we are totally out of that one in your size, but I can order it for you, it’s 2-3 day shipping at no cost to you and we ship it straight to your house”

A rich, white, attractive 22-year-old who’s had access to organic food, a rigorous dermatologist, and financial security since she was born: “mmm... sure, I’ll order it”

A 47-year-old of any socioeconomic background, of any race, in the same situation: “AHHHHHHHHHHH”

I just think it’s crazy how three generations of kids and young adults raised in a world where everything moves so much faster, where knowledge and entertainment and communication can be gathered so much faster, are often so much more polite and patient and understanding. Yesterday I told an older man (mid-50s) whose native tongue is the same as mine, as clearly and succinct as possible, that what he’s looking for is “in aisle 4.” He proceeded to repeat back, “Aisle 7?” four time before I dropped everything to show him what he needed in aisle 4, despite his insistence that he didn’t need me to walk him there. 4 and 7 sound nothing alike in English. There’s just something going on up there 🧠 that’s different.

Oh, other generational divides!!! We have different approaches to labor and working. Totally different! I’m a “young” millennial where I’m almost Gen Z, and I’ve noticed an awful trend among my demographic where people actually brag about working 90 hour work weeks. Or brag about how they skip breaks and live on-call to get the job done for “the hustle” like this “hustle, become a millionaire by 30″ culture that’s dominated these kids, idk where tf that came from. Like why are you proud of being a wage slave, getting taken advantage of by your millionaire/billionaire overlords. Compare this to my mother’s generation (she’s a borderline Genius X’er, she and her best friend were a year too young to watch Grease when it came out and had a random older woman buy tickets for her; she went to Prince concerts, took photos of him, then sold the photos on buttons at school, that’s her culture and teenage experience), where she’s insistent on her rights and entitlements as an employee, and these things she instilled me: “whatchu mean they didn’t schedule a break for you and you’re working 12 hrs today? oh no, you’re off, don’t answer your phone cuz you are NOT available!” There are Gen X’ers who entered the workforce at a time that America was drifting toward this corporate world, with more strictly defined regulations, roles, and understandings of labor rights (and also, let’s talk about how the 80s there was so much more attention on workplace harassment, misogyny and gender divides in wage gaps, etc. etc... not that much has changed, but at least it was talked about!). There are young people today who are taken advantage of because they aren’t as informed or don’t feel as secure and valuable enough to claim what belongs to them.

At the same time, those generations (Gen X and older) have a different viewpoint of hierarchies in the workplace and respect irt our direct supervisors. That’s how you get this blurring of boundaries between Work Life and one’s Personal Life that leads to common tropes in media written by their generations, where oh no! I’m having my boss over for dinner and the roast beef is still defrosting :O is such a “relatable thing” for them... meanwhile us younger generations are like I don’t even like that you know where I live, and if I see your 2017 Honda Civic pass my place one day, we’re going to have a problem. I think older generations have a different relationship with the word “Respect” than we do. Like, my grandma, who’s turning 87 (?) this year, and the other seniors in my area, they have a different concept of honor and an expectation of professional boundaries that I, and my mom and her generation, just don’t see (so then there’s something in common with Gen X’ers and the rest of us.) My dad grew up in a world where talking and acting like George Bailey and knocking on someone’s door with a big smile could get you a job, a job that could pay for college and rent no problem. My mom grew up in a world that demanded more prestige, where cover letters and references could get you into some cushy jobs if you’re persistent and ballsy enough. And I grew up in a world where potential employers literally don’t see your face when you apply unless they lurk on any social media profiles you have publicly available and they hold all the cards, and you need all those CVs and reference letters just to make minimum wage... so I feel like I am powerless in the face of such employers.

[pcssessicn]

☆ . · . miguel bernardeau, twenty-one, male, he / him . · . ☆ fitzwilliam 'fitz' phénix-alvarez lives in that huge mansion over there! no, not that one. look for white stucco walls & terracotta shingles and that’ll be it. the nhl defenseman has offered occasional glimpses of soft yellow walls and an impressive collection of plants in the background of social media posts, but all of that is nothing compared to seeing the opulence in person. they’ve remained protective as ever since moving to tercet court two months ago, but it seems like they might’ve gotten a little more mistrustful too. maybe that’s why they’re rumored to have such a distant relationship with everyone else who lives on this street. ☆ . · . ooc info: ollie, they / them, 21, est . · . ☆ career claim: cale ma/kar.

BASICS

Full name: Fitzwilliam Phénix-Alvarez Nickname: Fitz Birth date: September 29th Languages: English, Spanish, Quebecois Francois Hometown: 

PHYSICAL

Age: 21 Weight: 196 lbs Height: 6′2″ Body build: athletic, lean Eye color: grey-blue Faceclaim: Miguel Bernardeau Glasses or contacts: neither 

Tattoos: a raven in flight over his left shoulder blade, monochromatic vines winding up his left bicep

Scars: most predominantly a thin scar near the base of his neck where a skate slashed him when he was fourteen ; several other smaller scars of less note, especially on his hands --- much less noticeable

PERSONALITY

Good personality traits: observant, calculating, protective Bad personality traits: mistrustful, dishonest, aggressive 

Fitz comes across as very confident and in control, and at ease in his skin. The truth couldn’t be farther from it. He works hard to put forward the easy front he does --- and some days he can’t tell which one is more real. He has a dishonest smile that masquerades as honest, and a tendency to manipulate those around him when necessary to shed suspicion off himself. He can be almost charming at times, at least extremely amiable. Despite all this, Fitz is not rash or impulsive -- in fact everything he does is carefully calculated, though he goes to great lengths so it does not come across as so. The one place he feels truly effortless is on the ice.

He finds it hard to truly allow people close to him and to really see beyond the most superficial layers of himself. Furthermore, there is a deep-seated fear of not being enough and being forgotten ; he finds it easier to not let anyone close so there’s less chance of this happening.

THE STORY ( i rly was gunna try to write this nice and eloquently but... u get this instead 😔 )

— fitz was born to up and coming spanish actress reyna alvarez in chicago. the result of a messy one-night stand, but reyna ultimately decided to keep the baby. he is indeed named after fitzwilliam darcy from pride and prejudice bc his mother’s first breakout role was in a film adaptation of the book and she loved the book after reading it. how unfortunate for him.

— his birth father was never in the picture, but the man he would come to know as his father came into the picture a year or so after his birth. already one of the top architects in north america, paul robert phenix was in chicago for a conference and he and reyna fell in love. fitz has been told it’s was all very romantic. so then the happy family moved to pittsburgh where his father’s architecture firm was based.

— despite growing up with two parents who raked in a fair amount of cash, they made sure nothing was just given to fitz. they’d both had their humble beginnings and big believers in tough love, they made sure not to spoil their son. they did however make sure he was sheltered from the media when it poked around and the two things they did pay for without question were his education and sports.

— he started playing hockey when he was six after seeing a pens game on tv while they were out at dinner and knowing he just had to do it --- and never stopped. he got recruited to the us national team development program when he was sixteen and spent his last two years of high school in michigan living with a billet family most do who are with the program, which gave him a huge sense of “normalcy.” but really he was far from normal, his development taking great steps over those two years leading up to his draft year.

— queue the cale ma/kar career claim lads aka all the hockey development & logistics u can probably skip if u don’t care laksdjf: 

 one year before graduation and a draft, he vocally committed to playing at university of massachusetts - amherst. he went fourth overall to the la kings in the 2017 draft ( yeah technically irl that pick belonged to the avs but sh ), and proceeded to remain loyal to his commitment and play two years at umass despite his new top five prospect status. he was put into a first pair role from the start of his freshman year ( 2017-18 ), was a huge part in bringing the umass team up from the bottom of the standings. he plays for team usa in world juniors 2017 and 2018.

his sophomore year ( 2018-19 ), they make it all the way to the frozen four. fitz gets announced as the hobey baker winner and the day after they get knocked out of the tournament. not long after that he signs his entry contract with the kings and finishes out the season with them. he scores his first nhl goal on his first shot in game 3 of the first round of playoffs irl the kings don’t make playoffs but again shh. they get knocked out in the first round and fitz goes home and trains harder than ever.

he come back to kings training camp the next season ( 2019-20 ) more determined than ever to make the team. he does so out of camp and has an incredible rookie campaign. he gets injured in december and misses a few games but is back mid-january. fitz is given the calder ( award that goes to the best rookie in the nhl ) at the end of the season. technically cale hasn’t won this yet but we all know he will.

— la is a bustling city and fitz is a fan of one night stands : he just doesn’t feel like he has time for a relationship and hookups scratch that itch. he’s not an asshole about it, really. there is typically that understanding that this is a one time, no strings attached thing. but this one girl he sleeps with in march obviously does not get this memo and continues to not get the memo. she starts seriously stalking him in the following months and eventually he gets a restraining order against her ( use ur imagination kids ). he’s not really comfortable staying in his own apartment downtown for the time being though after he still sees her around. he stays with a teammate until the season ends, which then brings us to his connection to tercet court.

— paul robert phenix, now world reknowned architect, had a hand in designing several of the homes on tercet court, including one in the style of old money spanish mediterrianian villas that he designed with his wife in mind to be their new home. fitz’s mother had loved the house and moved in for a few years after the court opened but with her taking fewer roles up in the movie industry and getting exceedingly more lonely, she decided to embrace the more nomadic livestyle of her husband and moved out about a year and a half ago. since then the home stood vacant ( though certainly still cared for by several paid landscapers and maids ) until fitz’s dilemma arose a few months ago.

— a few phone calls and a begrudging agreement to pay the extremely steep taxes on the place for the year ( again, tough love and fitz may be a pro-athlete but he’s still making less than a million a year with his entry level contract ), and fitz moved in about two months ago ( say mid-may ).

MISC

— tri-lingual. father is french-canadian and his mother is spanish. needless to say he grew up a little confused. that worked itself out soon enough though. uses he uses quebois french in-season kind of frequently to talk to a couple teammates. really only uses his spanish to talk to his mother and family.

— since moving in fitz has filled the mansion with plants. he absolutely does not seem like a plant guy but he is... absolutely loves it. his major at umass was kinesology bc he thought it would be the most helpful and knew he wasn’t going to graduate but he snuck in some out-of-major classes on horticulture. truly just likes plants a lot. they don’t judge him.

— probably set up his own puck shooting pad in the backyard. why not there’s enough space. he had to retrieve a couple pucks from the bottom of the pool though which has been good incentive to not miss the net lmao. he also has revamped one of the rooms in the house to have synthetic ice.

— runs in the morning before it gets hot. skates a few days of the week in the afternoon. home gym in the house is definitely a perk but he prefers to work out with others because it feels more productive.

— probably drives like. a range rover.

— offensive defenseman. likes to jump up in the rush and is good at break out passes as well as zone entry. earned his place quarterbacking the first powerplay towards the end of the season. he can be quite physical when he needs to be though and don’t ever go after his goalie. ( his nhl.com player page )

— he’s not a recluse by any means, but he has no desire to built connections in tercet court so probably hasn’t actively reached out. they’re likely to have met outside of the small community or if your character forcibly came and introduced themselves. or if they knew each other already mayhaps??

— oh and he’s bi. like really really bi. obv not advertised given his career path but he’s not having some crisis over it either. it just is. probably has a stack of nda’s next to the condoms ready to go at anytime alsdkfj.

OOC

hey lads. i’m ollie !! for those around for round 1.0 of this rp i played alya ( the sports photog ). i am back and this time going back to what i do best : playing hockey boys 😔😔😔.

[thedankfaerie]

i am posting this here because i am tired of burdening my boyfriend with my feelings. this is a little nsfw. and this is my call for help. i dont know who to talk to anymore about this.

i need someone to hear what i feel

or at least, a free space to say what i feel 

im in a low place. i feel so awful about myself and my body and i hate this feeling. i hate that this time last year, i was so happy about the way i looked. i was working this awful job that had me so overworked and overtired and poorly treated that i skipped meals and slept through meals regularly... i lost so much weight from stress in just a year and was the skinniest i had ever been. mentally, i was not in a good place being exploited by my managers... but my self esteem re: my body was at a new level i never knew could exist for me.

last year, i felt powerful and confident about my body, and i expressed that through sexuality. i was fucking my ex that i still liked (i grew out of wanting him back, but he never did, and it was nice to have the upper hand). i was also fucking an old fwb that i stayed friends with, that was also recently single, so we reunited again at the perfect time. i was also seeing this one guy (now my boyfriend) so if ever i got tired of the sex i at least was able to calm down and settle down with someone who genuinely wanted to know me. of course, i ended up catching feelings for this guy, and cut off the other two to pursue something more serious (we are now dating and are moving in together next month!) anyways, it was so nice to be wanted. to feel... i guess sexy? sex is empowering. and it shouldn’t be taboo to say that as a woman, or anyone really. i dont want to give off the message that a woman’s validation is fueled by men’s desire - but hey, don’t you feel flattered when someone thinks you’re attractive? desire and lust aren’t everything... but they matter. and they have an impact on how you feel about yourself, whether or not you believe me when i say that is up to you. 

 and i hate that i would gladly put myself through the stress that i did just to feel happy about my body. before the summer ended, i finally had enough and i quit my shitty job. i was jobless for a month, but was able to enjoy the rest of the summer with my new ‘skinny’ body - last year i took my first bikini picture ... a 2 piece! i have never done that. i still think about how happy i was that summer to look and feel good about myself. 

i have struggled with self esteem issues since highschool. i always felt like i was too big. i used to follow all these blogs of pretty people and try to copy their poses to feel pretty and i used to spend hours after school trying on short dresses and clothes to stare at my body in the mirror. i used to starve myself to the point of literally wanting to faint on the daily, until finally i admitted it to one of my teachers. she respectfully asked if i wanted to speak with the school guidance counsellor, and i declined. but she encouraged me to speak up to at least a friend, so i did, and it helped, and for a long time, i was okay. after i graduated that teacher still checked up on me for a few years every now and again.

4th year university was when i realized how much i had let myself go. i was the heaviest i had ever been, it was my graduating year, i was looking for a job and was always worried about my grades. every time i was stressed or every time i needed to study i bought pad thai and bubble tea. a ritual. i didnt realize how much that had caught up to me until i saw old pictures of myself. at this point, i started my (shitty) job, straight out of graduation.

i actively avoided scales, i didn’t like looking at the number because it just made me upset. and i already felt upset looking in the mirror, i didn’t need something else to make me upset. but i did. and i was 20 pounds heavier than i was in highschool - the heaviest i had ever been.

i cried.

i didnt do much about it. i was too busy. my first job out of uni was a brand new daycare and i was head teacher of a toddler class - also i was the only staff on floor since there were not as many kids. there was nobody to train me, at all. i had to teach myself everything. i had no time. 

a little while before starting the job, i met this guy. he was so hot, but such a dick - we had a “thing” but it was so toxic. he started off interested in me, but i turned him down. his attitude changed and he started being a douche, but we became friends because we were seeing each other so often. i didn’t have a car yet. he was driving me everywhere. he lived 5 minutes away. he was the type of friend that would text me “im outside, lets go out”. we hung out as friends at first, we would have “study dates”, until we started hooking up. we acted like a thing but he denied we were ever one - but got mad at me whenever i tried to look elsewhere. but i guess in that time, it was nice to be wanted, especially by someone so attractive. 

but again, a year in that shithole job went by fast. i would stay late after work. i would come in on weekends. i was expected to not only help new kids transition, but train new partners. and given that my supers refused to support me, i watched a lot of people quit due to pressure. i had to keep retraining. and kids kept coming. that never stopped. i can honestly say my class wasn’t settled until december, and i started in september. everyday it was ‘its fine, it will get better’. 

a year in that shithole, with 0 support, and i lost all the weight i gained - and more. i was the skinniest i had ever been. even in highschool. i looked at old pictures of myself from when i started the job at my heaviest. i couldnt believe that was me. and i was so happy looking at myself in the mirror. for once! 

after i quit that job, i started another job that i hoped would be a happy ending.

and it wasn’t. it stressed me out just as much. i also moved out by this point, a month after i started this job. my hours are whack. 7-9, 11:30-6. i woke up early and got home late. i never had free time. my last shift at my old job was 7-3:30 and i had the whole day to myself. im someone that needs social interaction and alone time, and by the time i got home i was so tired, i would just cook, clean, shower, and go to bed. and that was my life. sometimes i would get so tired that i couldn’t cook, i just went and ate out. i tried to make personal time with my friends after work but by the time i reached their house, it was late, and places were closed. and id have to leave early anyways because i had work early the next day... so fast food was the only way to make this work. on top of this, this was the most difficult class that i had ever had. the kids behaviours’ were so difficult and i couldn’t handle it. i would cry in my car 3x a week. i would cry 4 minutes before my shift starts in the washroom and walk out and pretend i was okay. i would have my boyfriend come over as much as i could just so i could cry in his arms. i couldnt leave this job because i had just moved out and having a consistent rent payment was a huge responsibility for me. as well, if you know anything about ECEs in canada, just know we make shit pay. but this job pays me better than most ECE jobs... by a landslide. AND gives me benefits, which is so hard to find. i am still at this job - i was at my breaking point at the time covid started, so i was rejoicing when we closed for covid. i havent worked since march, but i needed that time off so desperately. 

with that being said, i gained the weight back.

not everything, but i definitely could tell i was packing on some pounds.

cue covid.

i havent worked since march. i fell back into a lazy routine of ordering fast food. lying in bed. resting. just enjoying NOT dealing with my difficult class. 

but i gained it all back. and i think im back at my heaviest weight. i picked up all my summer clothes from last year from my moms... half of them dont fit me. my favourite pair of shorts won’t close. i just sat and cried in a mess of clothes on my floor in front of the mirror. this was last week.

im trying to tell myself, ‘you’re in the middle of a global pandemic, go easy on yourself’... but do you know what it’s like to finally get what you’re chasing, and have it be taken away from you? i finally had a taste of what it was like to look AND feel good about myself. something ive wanted since i was a teenager...and it’s gone. it’s my fault and i accept that, so please don’t tell me i did this to myself. i know i did. but i can still be upset about it. i look in the mirror and i try to suck my stomach in and pretend nothing changed but its not the same. i see old pictures of myself, especially that bikini pic. ironically, i captioned it “i will never have the confidence to take a bikini pic again”... and here we are. i look at the clothes i wore last year and remember how fucking good i felt wearing them. i try putting them back on and seeing my stomach bulging and my arms looking fat and my love handles, something i didn’t see last year. and i just take them off and opt to wear something frumpier that doesnt hug my figure.

i try to tell people about how i feel but i cant take those ‘love yourself and all your flaws’ campaigns seriously. i dont think i can listen to another ‘you have to just keep faking it until you make it and if u just tell urself ur beautiful u will feel beautiful!’

because if you’re me, you know you cant kid yourself. if you’re me you can’t ‘love every flaw’. you fixate on them. and you let them define you. and if youre me, flaws are all you see.

i hate myself for getting back to this point. 

i have a very supportive boyfriend that knows about all this, who is trying to actively get me to go on runs with him. we are trying to go for walks more and be out and about. he reminds me of little things, like if we are getting bubbletea he will suggest i go with less sugar. he is trying, we are trying. and i appreciate him so much.

today i complained in my car about this to my boyfriend, again. for the millionth time. and he still was supportive. but i just feel like i cant keep doing this to him. he said something today, which i think was him trying to give me a reality check to show me that i cant just wish i could starve myself and overwork myself to lose weight and call it a day... but it stung. he said “i don’t want to be with someone that’s not healthy. i have standards too” and i realized then he deserves so much better than to fucking babysit my complaining ass. i am 24. and i shouldnt be putting this on him. he is an adult with problems just as real as mine and i shouldnt be burdening him with this anymore. 

im scared to talk to him about how that comment made me feel, because he’s so right, and he has every right to leave me. i would honestly. the amount that i worry and fixate on all my flaws and complain and have crying breakdowns about this is not fucking normal. and it shouldnt be his problem. i just want him to be with someone that doesnt give him this baggage. he met me in my ‘prime’ days when i just started getting my skinny body last year. when we finally started dating, we were super sexually active. and i mean, having sex like 15 times a week. im not kidding. now we havent had sex in almost an entire month. i dont feel sexy anymore and its impacting my sex drive.. he tries to start it with me and i just can’t because i feel like he is probably repulsed by my body. this is a huge huge huge problem, seeing as sex was a huge part of our relationship (we are very emotionally in tune with one another, but sex was a great addon because we both love it so much). i hate the way i look without clothes on. i cant bring myself to do it because it makes me feel like shit about myself.

but we are moving in together next month. and that is a huge step. and i am worried that i will never change, and he’s going to feel like he’s stuck with me because he’s moving 40 minutes away from his hometown to live with me. i almost want us to break up so he can be with someone with less baggage but i also love him and i want to be better for him and for us. 

someone please help me. 

[strawberryybird]

So whats your favorite thing about each of your fe3h favs? Anything you could just go on a long rant about for any of them? or interactions between them that you wish had happened or wanted to happen.

Waking up in the morning and going through all of the drunk blogging and “-thank-u-for-weathering-my-deep-need-to-be-liked-and-given-attention-off-main-I-guess” if this isn’t a whole mood on its own I don’t know what is. Anyways it sounds like you had fun and it was definetly fun reading everything. I hope you are feeling okay the day after everything. And to tack on a random question which fe3h character would you want to get drunk with if it was just the two of you?

Hi Hello!! thank u for enjoying my drunk blogging !!! and for the asks!!! (and the lovely comments on my fics actually hi there ur wonderful!!!) i’m currently cursing the damage i’ve done to my sleep schedule and suffering under my (truly deserved) hangover lmao ;p apologies u don’t get drunk me, only uncaffeinated hangover me, but we talk to the same degree and make the same spelling errors lol

ah yes.. im a fountain of moods (all of u still with me here are saints hhhh)

ok content time:

the second one first: i absolutely want to get drunk with ferdinand von aegir. the man’s a hop, skip and a vodka shot away from a mess. i love him. he’d be full of conversation and would buy the rounds every time as a true nobleman should !! he’d probably be really good at instigating drinking games but horrible at playing them.. i love party gay ferdie von aegir.

i’m going to LIMIT the faves i list because truly i love them all very much but i have to at least pretend i have some restraint and i don’t want to make this even More of a wall of text it’s going to become . SO 

edit: ok i started writing this at like. half ten pm. when the fuck did it become monday. 

edit edit: Disclaimer time: these are my conclusions and my conclusions alone. I’m not saying I’m objectively right or correct. I’m very much approaching this from an English Lit-ish point of view because that’s just how I look at a lot of media. I’m not asserting my opinions or conclusions as the only viable to interpret this media, and if anything I say offends you then I am sorry, it was not my intention but I acknowledge that I have hurt you. This is not the exhaustive list of my thoughts on the whole thing, there’s a lot more depth and detail I didn’t go in to.

My favourite thing about Edelgard is the Everything, but notably I really love her proud nature and how in VW it quite directly gets her *spoilered*, and in CF it’s integral to her success (bc it’s her own rigidity within herself that keeps her standing i think) and I Like Tragic Characters (and it’s very elinor dashwood). because it’s one of the qualities that can throw her character into a villainous light & it’s really interesting !! but at the same time.. it’s not quite ‘pride’ purely, and it’s kinda the wrong word. it’s some mixture of determined/stubbon, anger, self-reliance, and that really hard veneer of personality u develop when you’re around people who aren’t healthy for you to be around, and the very very critical need to be right about the choices you made because the weight of the  consequences would kinda ruin you if you weren’t. (the dean winchester effect huh) and wrap that up together with a big scoop of ‘i believe my way is right’ (’and my way Has to be right’) and then u get a lot of what i LOVE about Edelgard’s character

My favourite thing about Dorothea is really how she was the character that Hated the war. genuinely the contrast between white clouds dorothea & timeskip dorothea Breaks My Heart EVery Time I See Her !!!!! that and Spoilers!!! (her last words in AM unrecruited is edelgards name and i literally had to stop and cry about it for five minutes.) she’s one of the characters that post-war doesn’t have a Massive political stake in the war - like there’s her anger towards the current class system (another reason i bloody love her PLEASE give me angry feminine characters) but i think it’s her bonds with edie (or byleth&whoever if recruited) that keep her actually fighting in the war & it’s kinda different and i like that (actually i think she parallels/sends up/contrasts really really nicely with mercedes in that way)

my favourite thing about Marianne is just everything. how she finds worth within herself if you play VW (and the very very harrowing hc that she didn’t if you don’t), how she’s full of a quiet rage for the crest system but you eek it out of her as you play the game. how she’s still loved by the deers despite her appalling mental health (fight me on that canon) and the game essentially has her ‘save’ herself by finding worth and life within herself. i love her so much ok. (i also love her because she committed identity theft.. she and i share a name with the second dashwood sister oho (but i don’t use that name on the internet hhh) (also because my favourite shakespeare play is king lear (no really it is), my birthday is in red wolf moon too, i used to have very long hair i wore in a plait most days for school, little 11 and 17 year old me acted Exactly like white clouds marianne did & genuinely i love marianne von edmund to pieces but God it hurts to see her in game sometimes bc her journey mirrors a lot of mine & i love this character. so much.) WOW that was a lot. am i sure im not still drunk

so claude is not only one of my favourite characters in the whole damn game, but also shares the name of one of my favourite painters so i simply have to love him ;p however i can’t give a proper opinion on him yet because i haven’t finished playing deers yet :( but !! i love how (as is with all the lords) he has a veneer of personality to him, but in contrast to Edie where it’s quite seemless with her actual personality, Claude’s veneer of personality seems very opaque and plastered on. i may or may not just be wildly imagining things but he’s a very different personality in his lower supports with Lysithea than he is in his B support with Marianne, for instance. like, i love characters that are obviously a lot more socially intelligent than i could ever be, and claude is *chef kiss* BEAUTIFUL ON EVERY LEVEL.

i’d wax lyrical about Ingrid too but honestly there’s many better people out there with the good ingrid content than i could do. shortly, i love the New Take on the pegasus knight archetype she brings, and i really like her perspective on femininity !!! she’s such a good character & she brings so much to the game and to the pegasus knight character too!!!!! she’s such a bright personality and altho i wish so many of her supports weren’t centred around make-up (hhh dorogrid fans i pray for you), i think she’s really going to pave the way for whoever’s next in that character slot. (like, you can’t tell me she’s not an offshoot of Phila from awakening lmao)

no ok i’m adding in Hubert because i love this vampire man. i really really love the devoted servant archetype and we all know i love edelgard’s tragedy. and i love hubert. so much. the way he enables edelgard in pretty much everything is just so so interesting to think about, and i love his intensity about it. he’s like the ever present reminder that edelgard’s will kinda has to work otherwise the potential consequences of her being wrong are personified in hubert imo. it’s only touched on in VW in his letter but like. god i wish we got more but it’s a wonderful starting block. i love his comic relief as well, he’s such a fun character to have !!!! and also i have so many hubert fics in my bookmarks that just Get him. i love hubert. oh i love hubert.

i’m going to cut myself off there because . that’s just a LOT. 

as for characters i would sell a limb to have them talk to each other, honestly it’s Edelgard/Marianne. (and only 51% because of all the projection i have going on with those two ok don’t at me i  k n o w). that support chain would be too powerful and honestly i wish they had one becuauese it would have gone so Hard about what Edelgard was doing and what Marianne thought about it, and how they connected over it & they probably would have had their supports set over cups of tea or smth .. it would have been amazing. 

(but i’d rather have nothing than an awakening-level-content support where they talk about eating fucking bear meat instead of talking about how they grew to trust each other with and their ability to save the fate of the world HUH AWAKENING. (i’m salty about fredrobin forever)

also hilda/dorothea supports . we were robbed. they’re best friends and you can’t actually tell me otherwise. they run the disaster bi chat of garreg mach. honestly i just would Love a support chain for them that starts with them talking about self care routines and something really small like accessories or perfume and it goes into how self-esteem and how dorothea has to find the same worth in herself as hilda so easily can. (hilda’s the queen of self esteem she’s a babe) and in CF they could have dialogue and then we cry about it. and in SS they talk about how they both chose their place with Byleth and not at edie/claude’s side like i’m just free balling here it could be Anything and i’d love it. 

also big shocker .. dorothea/marianne supports . they both hate themselves in their profile CAN THEY PLEASE CHAT. 

also i accidentally fell in love with the claude/edelgard ship and i desperately need them to interact on the same level that edie and dimitri get to because.. aren’t there supposed to be three main characters huh intsys .. and like i get what the game goes for with two of the lords embroiled in a personal war against each other at the heart and the third actually finding something close to the truth because he’s not involved in age old grudge matches but at the same time That’s one of the things that really really falls flat for me in the game. dimitri’s villain is edie, edie’s villain is big dragon wife, claude’s villain is the lack of communication that everyone in fodlan suffers from apparently. lack of communication and lies. ymmv with what im saying rn but i would have preferred if all three lords had strong personal ties to each other and in Each Route it was brought up. or just snip dimitri’s dialogue out of CF because i have beef with how that WHOLE moment went down on so many accounts hhhh honestly it makes me angerey to think about lol

.. back on topic- can the lords pls talk to each other because it would be SO interesting in white clouds and i like seeing how their personality presentations clash

also . can i marry manuela yet. my crops are dying here.

.. im so sorry about this but it’s midnight and i’m too tired to edit so. have this. thank you so much for the questions!!!! very kind (and brave) of you to ask me!!!!! i had a lot of fun writing all of this & as always if anything you didn’t quite /get/ i’m happy to re-explain myself!! :)

[monohart]

stardust. (idol!au)

ft. huang renjun, failure and a secret relationship.

i’m back after a long break, haha. this was an old writing that had been sitting up in my drafts for a while... happy 2019! please spend this year showing more love to renjun. :)

thank you, and enjoy!

when you were cut from the line up for sm’s new group renjun was 100 times more devastated then u were

u were like hey rj cmon don’t worry i’ll be fine??? i’m sure i can audition for another company or smth?? or wait for the next unit debut??

u even jokingly said maybe u could debut in an nct unit but he couldn’t bring himself to smile

and your chest :(( hurt :(( from seeing him so hurt ;;;

ofc for as long as you remember y’all had been talking about both debuting under sm at the same time so y’all could be chasing your dreams and not be too far away from each other

but that plan failed when renjun debuted first with nct dream and had his schedule Packed w nct promotions and concerts and stuff

he and the other nct guys would sometimes let u sit behind the camera in vlives

this one time omg

(( ok so refer to this for a visual :) ))

u sat behind the camera in the chenle jaemin renjun react to baby don’t stop vlive

even though u were hella scared to be kicked out chenle was like HEY DW I’LL FIGHT ANYONE WHO THINKS YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE THERE OKAY

so u snuck out of your practice session slightly earlier to watch them

renjun was so excited u were there but obvs he had to keep it together for the live

then!! lolololol rip your manager found out u snuck out of practice and found u in the room and pulled u out of the room

(u kno that moment when they all looked behind the camera and then turned down the music.. yeah issa bc ur crazy manager almoST ruined the mood)

manager scolded u outside the room for a good few minutes and then told u to get yourself together

and u stood outside the room for a bit longer after manager left

and u were literally about to leave but then guess who u ran into!!!

chittaphon knew about u and rj since the day he met u and him both

it was kinda funny really bc u and rj stood rly awkwardly next to each other at this company event a few years ago and y’all were standing around the other dreamies and some other trainees and suddenly renjun’s hand brushed the side of your leg and u glance at him and he smiles at u and u look away smiling

AND chittaphon, who happens to be taking a nice long sip of his soda SEES THIS and spits his soda out

accidentally sprays soda onto jeffery’s back

but yeah thats another story

anyway!!!!

ten sees u sulking outside the door and peers in and sees renjun and hears bds

u know that smile smirk ten does when he knows whats Up™.

yeah he does that and be like

“eyy why don’t u go in???”

then u give him a breakdown of what happened with skipping practice and being caught by the manager

and hes like :o

but chittaphon is chittaphon so he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you back into the practice room and hides you in a corner just out of view

and then he sneaks onto them!!

then jaemin... quick-eyed, lovely doe-eyed jaemin... sees u hiding and nudges renjun ever so slightly

he sees u and before he gets flustered ten’s all over him asking how the mv was and flustered rj tries to keep his cool while showering chittaphon w compliments

and u know how ten looks at him like That :^)

and jaemin keeps peeking over their shoulders

yeah :))

OK I SPENT TOO LONG DESCRIBING THIS

but anyway, on that night u were cut from the line up

after the news got to him he sits down and was just like

:(

because he knew how much debuting meant to u and

and... YOUR DREAMS TO BE TOGETHER :(( debuting together and always being close to each other

and u mentioned before that if u dont debut in the next five years u prolly would quit the entertainment industry

maybe go back to school and study some or idk work in a less chaotic industry

in that moment he remembered what u said and was a little heartbroken too

he tried to find you in your usual practice room but u weren’t there and he shouldn’t be loitering around so he gave up and let you have some space

bet u he sulked all the way home

you had travelled back to your dorm because u needed some time alone oof

it took u a good few hours to deal with the news and when u were ready to talk about it again, it was like 3am but u still gave his mobile a call

he picked up on the second ring and said to meet him outside your dorm in a few mins and y’all can go take a walk or smth for some fresh air

so u guys go to the park for a nice quiet walk in the dead of night hhh

u had so many things to say but mostly u were worried with your relationship w him and how y’all were supposed to balance that out given his priorities with nct and you as... just a trainee...

u didnt have to explain anything or other bc he suddenly goes

“what if we went public with our relationship?”

u look up at his face that was hidden behind a mask and his glasses

u deadass thought he was kidding but his that look in his eyes were like hella serious

“just think about it for a second. maybe we don’t have to bring it to the fans, but at least let the company know”

and u were like no way they’ll just do anything to keep yall apart

he didnt answer after that and not too long later yall started heading back to your dorm

it was almost 5am and the streets were still dark and renjun had an arm around your waist and you leant against him and yall walked slowly bc honestly u guys haven’t slept a wink and its been a Really Long day

your dorm was a street away from his

actually he stops about a street or two away from your dorm bc another idol group also lived in the same building as u and there were always sasaengs and people w cameras outside your dorm

u were a trainee so it didnt bother u but renjun was renjun :,)

plus he actually wanted sum privacy so he could kiss u.. so...

hsaksdnd

there was a narrow alley just around the back of the apartment block next to yours

u would never go there alone kasdnj it was scary at any time of the day

tbh

u wouldn’t go even if someone was there with u

maybe it was the heat of the moment or u were just so down that day

it didn’t rly bother u when renjun gently backed u up against the wall and hugged u n took off his mask n buried his face in the crook of ur neck

and that immediately put a smile on your face ur like baby wyd its 5am

hes looks at u like :(( and says “i miss u” in a quiet quiet voice & in his mother tongue

u knew what it meant and hearing him say it in chinese made you uwu to mars

then he showers u with like tiny tiny butterfly kisses and he wraps his arms around u to make u feel safe and warm

which u do!!

he holds u up too when ur knees buckle a bit but then just continues kissing u hehehe

its all sweet and innocent but his kisses last just a tiny bit longer each time, as if hes scared that you’d run away

after he finishes kissing u he meets your eyes and u literally watch his orbs go all soft and he hides his face in your neck again while u mutter about how much of a big baby he is

the goodnight was!!!

the hardest thing y’all had to do omg

he literally didnt want to let u go

and when he did and when u started walking toward ur building u kept looking back, wanting him to head off but he didnt and stood there waiting for u to go in

and u didnt want to go in without knowing he was on his way home and was safe on the walk back wdf it was almost 6am

then when u were almost at the door u saw he hadn’t moved an inch

so u run back to him

he was still standing at the spot where y’all parted - which was a few streets down and out of sight

he scolds u for running back out but he smiles when doing so and u snap his mask back onto his face and kisses him over the mask like 200 times and u couldnt see but hes like dying from the giggles

anyway eventually y’all go home :,) it just took forever :,)

the next day u head to the building in the afternoon to catch up on some sleep

u were a bit guilty to find out renjun went back to work at 7am which meant he practically didnt get any sleep

y’all brush shoulders in the cafeteria but he was walking w hyuck and his manager so u couldn’t stop and chat

tho u couldn’t help but notice his manager steal a glance at u when u walked by and he had this really weird smile on his lips

made u go like huh.,, maybe he recognises me from the many Brief encounters yall had before

anyway u were doing some vocal and keyboard practice later in the afternoon when the door to the private training suite opened and two loud boys stumbled in

made u rly surprised bc u never expected it to be them??

it was taeyong and winwin??

they were both looking at u like :))) as if they did something great :))

taeyong introduces himself formally but you’re like ,, um u know we’ve met before at this function and hes like OH,,, sorry

anyway they were there to tell u how renjun couldn’t shut up about u since he went back to the dorm last night and now all of nct knows about everything to know about u and him (if they hadn’t already)

you’re just like .,, oof what embarrassing stuff did he say

they’re like NO ALL NICE STUFF,, a bit cringey at times

but !! nct wanted to help u

so earlier today

johnny and jaehyun spoke to their managers and night night producers and asked if they could hire a third radio dj - yknow someone who also speaks english and is really nice and entertaining and funny and cool like u are!!

that idea is now In The Talks

winwin brought up a variety thing china line and their managers had been thinking about for a while and also asked if they could consider u

nct managers be like ok so who actually is this trainee and why are all 18 boys obsessively asking to include her in nct activities

later that day when u see renjun again he was just heading off but he came around your practice room to see u before he left

thankfully u were the only one left at practice as the others were away busy preparing for their debut or smth :,)

u didnt hear him come in bc u were sitting in the middle of the room on the floor scrolling replying to week old texts oop hehe

renjun sneaks up behind u and hugs u from behind and kisses your cheek

he got a bit scared when u didn’t respond as explosively as he thought... for a second he thought he got the wrong person poor bean he was so nervous hhh

you chuck your phone aside and tackle him and he falls onto his back and yall kinda lay there on the ground for a bit

and you told him about taeyong and winwin visiting u and he just smiles

“you inspire me.”

“me? inspire you? you’re huang freakin’ renjun, and i, of all people, inspire you?”

“yeah”

“don’t understand u sometimes”

he turns his head to look at u and u turn to look at him and he kinda just admires you for a while then reach over and touches your cheek

it wasnt even a sweet caress or anything he literally just

touched

your cheek

“renjun what the heck”

then he laughs and u laugh and u snuggle against him and for the first time that week both of u feel completely at ease bc even though the dream u guys shared at the beginning was completely shattered,

y’all would still find a way around it

and knowing so many people around u still supported u guys meant so much

especially to renjun bc u were his everything and he’d do anything for u

and i mean it!!!

[wicked-storybrooke]

Trying to Make Sense of OUAT Season 7’s Timeline Part II- An Unsolvable Puzzle: The Coronation & Everyone’s Ages

Hey folks! Here I go again trying to explain things I will never fully comprehend! Please read part one (wicked-storybrooke.tumblr.com/post/177430184596/trying-to-make-sense-of-ouat-season-7s-timeline) to understand what the heck I’m on about a bit better.  Again, please feel free to add to this or to correct me if there’s something I’ve missed!

Now, for the coronation!

So first of all, I don’t know what’s going on with Pinocchio over here, since the last time we saw any version of him, he was adult August. I cannot try to explain this without my head exploding, so I’ll leave that part for now.

So the coronation can’t have happened too long after the events in Storybrooke (with Curious Archer and the town folk) in 7x22, given the fact that young Robin was 5 years old at the time and young Neal is around a year older than her (I’m not sure if we were ever given an official age gap between the two). This means the Hyperion Heights characters cannot be in their own original timeline during this coronation. So after defeating Wish!Rumple they either: traveled back to the future xD so they could live out their lives in their own timeline and grabbed another time-hopping-bean and took a ride straight to the United Realms around 19-years-in the past just to have the coronation at that exact time; They time traveled around 3 years into the future from the time Robin meets her 5 year old self in 7x22, in which case they basically skipped time up until Hope is born, so that the coronation could be held at that exact time; alternatively they were trapped around 22 years in the past for 3 years at least or they just wanted to remain around 22 years in the past as compared to their original timeline? I think the option that arguably hurts the story least is the one where they returned to their own timeline after Rumple dies and defeats Wish!Rumple and just took a trip (22 minus 3 years, which would be) 19 years into the past for them or they waited 3 years in their own timeline and visited the UR for the coronation 22 years in the past. Sounds convoluted, I know and the biggest problem is why would Regina unite the realms in the past only to return to her own timeline. If that did happen I imagine she left the leadership of the United realms up to a bunch of other queens, kings, princes and princesses such as Snow and Charming for a hot minute up until her return in what would be around 3 years for them.

One thing’s almost certain, they must have definitely grabbed Tiana from Hyperion Heights and Zelena from San Francisco (both would likely be from the same timeline as the Hyperion Heights folk in Storybrooke’s). This is definitely the Zelena who was cursed to be Kelly, since this Zelena has magic and storybrooke!Zelena doesn’t regain magic until Robin’s 18.

If the S7 Characters were stuck in the past or chose to remain there, how did Robin and Zelena not mess up the time-space-continuum??? This is assuming Kelly!Zelena didn’t hitch a ride straight back to San Francisco after her sister’s coronation. If we still put the coronation 3-5 years after the townsfolk chased Alice & Robin with axes & crossbows, then we can say past!Regina has already left to help past!Henry at this point. In fact, she’s definitely left because on the day she chooses to stay in the New Enchanted Forest, Emma is still pregnant.

Now assuming every event occurs in a single timeline, the events in what was assumed to be Stoybrooke in 7x11, with 18-year-old Robin and Zelena had to have actually occurred in the Storybrooke section of the United realms. So why did neither of them or Regina mentioned that they already knew the future, that everyone would be absolutely fine, that the HH curse would break and that the Regina they just reunited with would eventually cast a curse to bring all the realms together?- Well, because of the space-time-continuum of course!! They’ve seen the movies, they know what’s up. No but seriously, there has to be some kind of memory potion involved (if it happens in a single timeline!). Maybe Regina took one before she left to help Henry and maybe Robin had one hell of an 18th birthday party with her mum and they mistook glasses of memory potion for party cocktails before they left (pssst….if anyone wants to write this crazy party, I’ll love u forever!) or Regina just gave them some when they arrived, knowing that the consequences could be severe if any of the Mills women already knew their future.

Unless of course, by being in the past they created a whole new timeline or when the Coven of the Eight’s curse was cast, it didn’t only take them back in time and to another realm; It could also have taken them to an alternative timeline! A timeline where an alternative-timeline-version of Robin grows up in the United Realms (as opposed to the Hyperion Heights!Robin we know, who could have grown up in plain ol’ Storybrooke). I’m not sure if the second theory works without other giant plot holes though but I think it aligns with what we’ve seen of time travel in this show in the past.

I was originally gonna say the coronation happened just after an almost 19-year-old Henry left to find his own story (Jack said Henry spent his 19th birthday with him at the Crimson Crow) but if what I’ve worked out i my previous post is correct, it has to be at least around 3 to 5 years after Henry leaves, when Hook is looking for a cure for his heart so that he can return to 10~ year old (plus or minus a few years) Alice. As previously mentioned, the coronation also has to have occurred months after pregnant Emma visits Henry in the New EF. Neal doesn’t look 11 at the coronation but it wouldn’t be the first time the writers have chosen a younger actor to play the role by mistake. I think Josh dallas said he was suppose to be about 7 but idk it’s kinda close. If we say Neal was 7 during the coronation, that would make Henry 19 during the event. That would mean he met Ella and Wish Hook when he was 19. But that doesn’t work because, as mentioned in my previous post, we know Ella is 14+ years older than Alice and around the same age as Henry. We also know that Ella meets a 17+ year old Alice in ‘Pretty In Blue’ when the older woman is at least 31. And we also know that Hook is looking for a cure when he meets Henry. Alice has to be about 5 or 6 when Henry is 19. I don’t think young Alice is 5 or 6 in ‘Knightfall’ and we know Hook meets Henry after he’s separated from his daughter, so the coronation has to have occurred at least 3 years after the Bayou Rolls into Storybrooke in 7x22. That would make Alice 8 or 9 when Wish Hook meets Henry (which is more plausible!).

So that would mean Henry actually met Ella and Wish Hook when he was between 22 and 24 and so he’d be about that much older than Hope. 8 or 9 years later, he’d be between 31 and 33 when he meets 17+year old Alice. 30 makes the most sense, since Ella would be at least 31 and is likely a bit older than Henry, which would make Alice 8 when Hook is poisoned if we put past!Neal at 9 during the coronation. So, if we put Henry at 22 years older than Hope and if we say Henry is then 41-22=19 years, that would make Hope 19 in the present day, which would mean they are 19 to 20 years in the past during the coronation (depending on baby Hope’s age at the time). They were almost definitely 22 years into the past when 27-year-old Robin met 5-year-old Robin in 7x22, so it would make the most sense that around 3 years have past since 7x22′s Storybrooke shenanigans. Booyah!

Henry Meets Ella whilst Regina, Hook & Emma visit Henry and they meet Wish Hook

Henry is 22~

Ella is 23~

Emma is 40~

Hook is physically 40~

Wish Hook is de-aged to appear like OG Hook, so is likely physically 40~ (I’m gonna say Wish Hook originally appeared older because he aged during his time-travelling adventure(s) as he searched for a cure (refer to part I) it’s quite a stretch, I know but it’s the only way I can make sense of it since these events had to have occured around 9 years before the events of 7x11 due to Robin & Hope’s ages at the coronation)

Alice is 8/9~

Robin is 8/9~

Wish Hook is briefly reunited with Alice and Ella & Henry visit wonderland & eventually Lucy is Born and Drizella is turned to stone

Henry is 31~

Ella is 32~

Alice is 17~

Wish Hook doesn’t seem to age from here (probably because of the de-aging spell) so is still physically 40~

Drizella is 28~

Zelena & Robin travel to the EF2

Robin is 18

Henry is 32~

Ella is 33~

Alice is 18~ and off on her travels

Lucy is 1~

Alice & Robin meet

Alice 19~

Robin 18/19~

The curse is cast

Henry is 39~

Ella is 40~

Wish Hook is physically 40~

Drizella is physically 28~ because she didn’t age when she was turned to stone but her actual age is 36~

Alice is 25~

Robin is 24/25~

Lucy is 8

The curse breaks (assuming 2 years past and they aged during this time)

Henry is 41~

Ella is 42~

Wish Hook is physically 42~ (if the de-aging spell’s magic wore off in the LWM)

Drizella is physically 30~ but is actually 38~

Alice is 27~

Robin is 26/27~

Lucy is 10~

The present day Storybrooke folk when the HH curse breaks

Emma is 59~ (18 years older than henry at this time)

OG Hook is physically 59~

Hope is 19~

Prince Neal is 28~

The coronation

Henry is 44~

Ella is 45~

Wish Hook is physically 45~ (if the de-aging spell’s magic wore off in the LWM, if not he’s still physically 40~)

Alice is 30~

Robin is 29-30~

Lucy is 13~

Wish!Henry is 19-21~ (refer to part I to understand why I think this)

Neal is 8-9~

Little!Robin is 8~

Pinnochio is ??!??!??

The Season 7 characters’ past selfs during the coronation (just after pregnant emma visits Henry)

Henry is 22~

Ella is 23~

Wish Hook is physically 40~

Alice is 8/9~

Robin is 8/9~ (given past!Neal and past Hope’s ages at the coronation. Meaning there had to have been around a 9 or 10 year gap between the events of 7x02 and the moment Lucy was born since Robin was 18 when Lucy was still a baby in 7x11)

[callboxkat]

Quiet (part 18)

Author’s note: I was rather self-indulgent in this part. I think you guys will like it, too.

Warnings: college, selective mutism, reference to past panic attack, guilt, mentions of illness

Word count: 1733

Masterpost!

Not long after Patton and Logan found out about what had been going on with V, and what had really happened at the infamous movie night, everyone departed the park. Logan and V each drove home separately, and Patton drove Roman back to campus to fetch his car. Along the way, the two of them had a talk.

Patton never looked at Roman, just talking as he drove and keeping his tone neutral.

Roman already felt conflicted about things, having of course seen how upset V had looked at the park. Nevertheless, at first, as Patton explained what he and Logan claimed to have discovered about V, Roman felt defiant and self-defensive. However, while a part of him wanted to break in and justify himself, he knew that Patton would only silence him. And anyway, the longer Patton spoke, the less defiant Roman felt. Instead he felt… shame.

The story about being unable to talk at certain times had seemed a little ridiculous at first, but Roman realized that it actually made a lot of sense. He recalled when V had confronted him outside of their American History course. V had only been able to say one word (“Hey!”) and then had looked to be chewing gum or something of the like. Roman supposed that that could have been a sign that V was fighting to get words out.

And, oh, when Patton got to that awful movie night. Roman actually covered his face when Patton, his voice shaking slightly, recounted that part of the story. When he revealed that V had, upon not being able to pay for his pizza, apparently had a panic attack and passed out in an alleyway. And none of them had found him, let alone helped.

And then Roman had gone and torn up the money when V had tried to pay him back (even if V had done so in a rather rude way).

Roman had to make this right.

…

Roman wasn’t in class on Thursday.

None of them—Logan, Patton, and Virgil—had seen him since the day before, when they all departed from the park. Logan and Virgil had each driven home alone, but Patton told Virgil that he and Roman had had a talk as Patton drove him back to campus to get his car.

“He seemed kind of conflicted,” Patton admitted after class. The three of them were leaving the building together. “He didn’t say much while I was explaining things to him.”

“What did you tell him?” Virgil had asked.

“Just the truth, kiddo.” Virgil had groaned at that, but Patton at least had the grace to look slightly ashamed. “He deserves to know, V.”

Virgil supposed that maybe that was true, but why did everyone have to know everything? Who was going to take him seriously knowing how pathetic he was?

Damn it.

“I still do not understand why he did not attend class,” Logan commented.

“Well… I don’t really know, either,” Patton shrugged. “Maybe he needed some time to think about things.”

“He could be sick,” Logan supposed.

Virgil raised an eyebrow, glancing back at Logan. They all knew Roman wasn’t sick.

Besides, even if he was, Virgil was pretty sure he would show up anyway. Roman didn’t seem like the type to miss class for an illness, especially not a mild one. Besides, Roman had seemed just fine on Wednesday.

Logan didn’t seem to understand what Virgil was trying to convey, so Virgil just sighed and looked back ahead. They were almost at the entrance now.

“Well, have a good night, everybody,” Patton said, looking at his friends with a smile. The three of them parted ways, but as he walked to his car, Virgil couldn’t help but keep an eye out for Roman’s signature crimson jacket. There was no sign of it.

…

It was Friday night.  

They were skipping movie night again. No one had said so, but Virgil knew. Patton knew. Logan knew. And Joan and Talyn, of course, knew too. Joan had just texted Patton to confirm—the only one to actually decide it was worth doing so.

Besides, the group of friends still had yet to hear anything from Roman. Apparently, he hadn’t gone to any of his classes since Wednesday. Logan was still claiming that sickness was a possibility, but Virgil could tell that even he didn’t believe that. They all knew Roman was avoiding them. One of them in particular.

At the moment, Virgil was at his apartment, just scrolling through random social media. He’d gotten off of work about an hour before, and he was looking forward to getting to just relax for a bit and try to forget about what was going on. He was about to start watching a vine compilation when his phone screen lit up with a text message notification.

Princey: This is Roman. Dont know if u deleted my #.

Princey: Can we talk???

Virgil stared at the messages uncertainly.

Princey: V?

His fingers hovered noncommittally over the keyboard before quickly typing and sending a curt reply.

V: Sup princey

Princey: Am I still Princey in ur phone?

Princey: Nvm, not important. I want to talk to u.

V: here I am

Princey: No no like TALK to u.

Ugh. Virgil didn’t feel like going anywhere. He was tired from class and work, and besides, why did he have to go out just to get lectured again?

Princey: If u give me ur address I could go there

A long pause.

Princey: Pls??

Virgil sighed, running a hand over his face.

You know what? He thought. Fine. Roman already had such a low opinion of him, what would this matter?

Virgil sent his address.

…

Was this a prank?

Roman was definitely at the right address. He’d checked four times. But… this couldn’t be right. The address V had given him led to a dilapidated old building, with crumbly brown bricks and ivy and broken windows. The lawn leading up to it, where it wasn’t in large dead patches, was overgrown and full of weeds. The sidewalk was a broken leg waiting to happen. V couldn’t live here.

V: What’s taking so long, princey?

Princey: might be at wrong place

V: You’re not.

Well, okay, that was a completely normal and not at all foreboding response. But Roman just shifted the box under his arm and approached the building anyway.

Next to the main door of the building was a panel he could use to request entry from different apartments. He pressed the button labelled 3B—V’s apartment number. Beside it was a white label with R Night, V Thompson written on it. So, V’s last name was Thompson. That was new information.

He waited a few seconds, then heard a buzz, and the lock clicked open. Roman pushed open the door and walked into a dark hallway.

…

V resumed his pacing as soon as he pressed the button to let Roman in. Remy wasn’t home at the moment to stop him, so why not?

There was a knock at the door, and Virgil stopped. He padded up to the door and looked through the peephole. Of course, it was Roman, so he opened the door.

“Um… hi,” Roman said, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else at that exact second. Virgil could relate.

Virgil took a half step back, then waved Roman in in a lackadaisical manner as he walked back into the main room. He heard the creak of a floorboard as the junior stepped inside, then the door shutting with a click.

Virgil cleared his throat, hummed a second, and then spoke. “What’d you come to say?” he asked, glad that his voice decided to cooperate for once. “Just get it over with.”

He flopped down on the couch, looking up at Roman expectantly. To his slight surprise, the other student just shuffled over to the couch and sat beside him—not too close, but still.  Virgil noticed for the first time that he had a box (a gift box?) with him.

“I’m sorry,” Roman said simply.

Virgil stared at him.

“Patton told me about—about what happened. And I….”

Virgil nodded. He knew about their conversation.

“I had everything so wrong. And I hope you can forgive me.” He moved the box from his side so that it was sitting on his lap. “And, well… I know this doesn’t fix things, but… but, um….” For once, it was Roman having trouble with words. The tips of his ears were starting to turn red. He thrust the box towards Virgil. “You know, maybe it’s better if you just open it.”

Virgil took the box, raising an eyebrow at Roman questioningly. He put the gift box on his own lap, and after a second’s hesitation, slowly untied the bow and removed the wrapping paper. He opened the box.

...

Roman was watching him carefully, but V didn’t seem to react. He was just staring into the box. Roman tried to stammer out an explanation.

“I, um… You never told Patton what happened, but… I can’t help but assume it has to do with me. So… so I… I decided to try to at least make something right.”

V reached into the box, and pulled out a carefully folded bundle of fabric.

“It’s…. I have to admit I found the old one a bit drab. So I… I saw your new shoes, and I noticed that the laces are sort of purple. And I just… kind of ran with that.”

Roman’s heart was pounding, and gosh, he was nervous. Why wasn’t V reacting? Did he hate it? Did he just hate Roman too much to accept his apology?

V let the garment unfold in his hands, so he was holding up his new hoodie, in all its purple and black angsty glory, in front of him.

Roman shifted uncomfortably, and he tried to look any sign of what the younger man was thinking.

And then he noticed—V wasn’t staring at the garment in disgust, or disdain, or boredom. He looked almost mesmerized. He ran a thumb over the white stitches that held one of the purple plaid patches in place. He inspected the sleeves and found the zippers that ran down them from the elbow to the wrist.

V put it on.

He smiled.

And Roman couldn’t help but smile back.

Tag list: @patton-loves-coloring @starryfirefliesbloggo @purplesoul-at-hogwarts  @lotusthatexists @lizaelsparrow @awesomelissawho @amuthefunperson @faithfreedom @bunny222 @syndianites @astraastro @momolinia @hamilin-manuel-miranda @goldenkiddos @afilhadehades-blog @virgeofselfdestruction @theresneverenoughfandoms @iris-sanders-athena @super-magical-wizard @jesjessode @rainbow-sides @thefallendog @fanficptsd @zodiac-awesome @lookitsthatquietgirl @soft-boy-patton @nerd-in-space @pearls-of-patton @ab-artist @angered-turtle @im-so-infinitesimal @enby-kiddo-with-a-blog @raygelkitty

[inoahthingor2]

No Place Like Home

When: November 17th

Time: 10 PM

Noah wasn’t sure why he hadn’t resented his sisters, even though he had grown up behind all four of them. There were four different ideas about who a Nakamura was before Noah stepped into place, and sometimes, it was annoying. No, he wasn’t as good at maths as Lily, and no, he wasn’t interested in joining the drama club like Hannah had, and if one more person asked him if he had inherited any of Ryleigh’s affinity for public speaking, he just might tear his hair out.

But, he was still so proud of his sisters. Yeah, he had no clue what the hell an integral was, but Lily had gotten a full-ride to go study Statistics. And Noah was good at singing and dancing, but Hannah’s performance as the lead in The Sound of Music made him tear up. And you bet your ass Noah was the loudest one screaming after Ryleigh’s valedictorian speech.

And then Kelly.

Since Noah could remember, Kelly had been dancing. Uncoordinated and clumsy when she eight as she led him in circles with Ryleigh, her pointe shoes messily laced up. Noah, who was five at the time, was delighted by the clumsy pirouettes. Lily and Hannah watched with a mixture of caution and amusement from the side lines, only stepping in when he and Ryleigh knocked heads.

Noah watched as Kelly ditched her pointe shoes in favor of a leotard and chalk, and at age nine, he watched her land her first pike, and that was the exact moment he knew he wanted to be out there with her.

His other sisters seemed to share his sentiment, but not nearly to his degree. Lily like it because she thought it made her look elegant, Hannah liked it for the drama, and Ryleigh liked it because Noah liked it. But he and Kelly actually loved all of it.

They loved the rush as they bounded across the mat, making sure not to get lost in the feeling of flipping through the air so they had a clear enough mind to land each move. Loved the burn that came with holding their balance on a beam, forcing their shaking muscles to cooperate and keep them upright. Loved the way their pulse beat in their ears as the flung themselves off of the bars, that .2 seconds in the air before they were latching back onto the metal and throwing themselves around it once more.

Perhaps their coach had taken a shine to him, but in Noah’s eyes, Kelly was who really encouraged him to practice his heart out.

“I mean, I'm good Noah, don't get me wrong. But you… you could really go somewhere with this,” she had said as she gently bandaged their hands after a particularly rigorous practice. And with Kelly gripping his hands with her own dusty ones, he knew then that he was gonna go somewhere for the both of them.

Lily, Hannah, and Ryleigh all dropped it after a couple of years, but they never stopped loving the sport. They were there when Noah dominated State Championships, sitting in the front row with their parents, waving obscenely large signs and screaming his name. Kelly was standing with the rest of their gym on the floor, beaming up at him, and in that moment, behind the joy and adrenaline, he hated being up on that podium, because his victory was nothing without them.

So when he moved on to win Nationals, he yanked Kelly up on the podium with him and grabbed her hand with his own, pressing his metal into her open palm. She stared at him for a moment, before she burst into tears, quickly followed by Lily, Hannah and Ryleigh, who jumped from the stands to rush the stage almost as soon as Noah had reached for Kelly. Yeah, pandemonium was one word for the mess that broke out after that, but if that wasn’t the Nakamura’s, Noah wasn’t sure what was.

They stuck together. If you had one of them, you had all of them.

Which was why he should’ve driven back with them after that meet. He should’ve skipped the review session with his coach. He should’ve just left with his win. Left and eaten with his family, throwing ice at Ryleigh whenever their parents weren’t looking and stealing broccoli off of Hannah’s plate when she forgot to guard her greens.

But instead, while his family was sleeping, full and happy and still buzzing with Noah’s victory, Noah was being thrown about in a crushed car that wouldn’t stop rolling, the feeling of flipping familiar and horrifying.

And then he was… broken. Broken, and all he could think about was how much he was hurting, how angry he was, how heartbroken he was. He couldn't think of anything else for those four years. But, he had forgotten that Nakamura’s shared everything.

He didn’t get to see Lily ripping his coach a new one with Hannah holding her back by her coat, begging her not to get arrested on top of everything. He didn’t see Ryleigh straightening out his hospital sheets, crying and crying but trying not to be loud in case her grief was strong enough to wake him from a medically induced coma. Nor Kelly, gripping his Nationals medal that he had given to her tightly in her hand, holding it to her forehead before throwing it in a fit of rage at the wall. The dent was still there.

No, Noah hadn’t seen any of that. Instead, he saw his future in ruins, his family disgraced, his uselessness. Every time he looked one of them in the eyes, that’s all he saw. Pity or disappointment. He couldn’t see the fondness in Lily’s eyes when he playfully tripped her with his walker on one of his better days. He didn’t see the adoration in Hannah’s when she presented him with a knot blanket for his legs, nor the relief in Ryleigh’s when he opened his eyes for the first time since the accident as she stood in the corner in order to allow the doctors to work. And he certainly hadn’t seen the pride Kelly felt when Noah took his first wobbly steps by himself before he collapsed into her arms.

He couldn’t.

Which was why when his phone buzzed, he didn’t answer it. He watched Kelly’s face flash on screen until it dimmed and the vibrating faded. There was the missed call notification, then a voicemail notification, and finally a text message. He clicked on the text, already knowing he was going to delete the voicemail. He couldn't handle her voice yet.

Kelpy: Answer one of us, you asshole. We miss you

Noah shut his eyes and sighed through his nose, before finally taking a look at all of the other texts from his various sisters that he had muted.

From Lily;

Lil: how’s college, college boy? Meet any hotties yet?

Lil: let me know if u need help with ur math

Lil: r u seriously ghosting your whole family u dork?

Lil: R u coming home for thxgiving?

Lil: I’ll give u 5 bucks and some graduate school gossip if u do

Lil: hey, give mom a call soon, will ya? You know how she worries

From Hannah;

Bananah: hey, let me know how ur first day was when u get a chance!

Bananah: are your midterms soon? Call me if you get too stressed!

Bananah: stay warm, okay? I know it’s warmer there, but still. If you tell me ur dorm room number, I’ll send you a scarf!

Bananah: audio.mp3

Bananah: “this is my audition for a Christmas musical! Let me know how it is!”

From Ryleigh:

Rye: I can’t believe you went to college so far away fucker. I was looking forward to dipping ur hand in cold water when ur passed out drunk

Rye: bro, wtf r u gonna be for Halloween? If u don’t send me a pic, you’re disowned

Rye: image.png

Rye: I went as Columbia from rocky horror

Rye: woooow silent treatment?

Rye: if u don’t come home for thanksgiving, I’m gonna convince Hannah to help me kick ur ass

From Kelly:

Kelpy: dominate this school year noah! We’re all rooting for you!

Kelpy: image.png

Kelpy: I got a dog. Help me name him?

Kelpy: I named him pudge.

Kelpy: hey, call me? We should catch up! I wanna know how school is!

Kelpy: Hey noah, we’re all kinda worried about you. We’re trying to give you space, but we’d really like to hear if you’re okay

Kelpy: mom and dad almost drove up to surprise you, but I convinced them not to. Just answer us noah. We miss you

And then the text from today

Noah pressed his phone to his forehead, his brows furrowed. He should go back. He knew he should. He missed his family, as much as he tried not to think about it. But it was going to be so hard going back to a place where everyone knew how much better he used to be. They were gonna ask him what he was doing, and he couldn’t just not talk about the Vixens. But he wasn’t ready to share. He just… couldn’t. He wanted to stay in this space where he was just Noah, the energetic Vixen. He was scared if he looked away, the illusion would break.

But they deserved to hear him say he wasn't coming home.

So naturally, he texted it.

N: srry for the radio silence Kelly! I’ve been sups busy! I can’t make it back for Thanksgiving; I’ve got something I need to do here. Give everyone my best!

Kelly answered almost immediately, but he was already tossing his phone in his gym bag and getting ready to head to the Court. The sooner he improved, the sooner he could feel comfortable going home.