#this is what zero action does to a man who's still pining over a woman that died thousands of years ago

[xhanisai]

Father took one look at my list of "favourite characters that would nuke the world for the love of their life" and said "nah I'll do you one better. I'll have my son do that for me lol" and is dancing in his own spacious corner because I don't think I know any other character that tried to do what he did aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

[decennia]

I don't know who needs to fucking hear this, but I'm about to say it with my full chest:

SEVERUS SNAPE DESERVES NO RIGHTS, I SAID WHAT I SAID.

Why? I'll tell you why:

Let's start with Neville Longbottom. Often the butt of the joke, Neville was often played up for comedic effect, so I can understand why we never took the implications of his boggart seriously.

But the fact of the matter is: Neville Longbottom was more terrified of his potion's teacher than he was of Bellatrix Lestrange, a woman who was a proud Death Eater who tortured his parents into insanity, a fate several people throughout the series state as "worse than death."

I've heard the argument from Snape Apologists that Boggarts are "superficial" creatures, so they don't go much deeper for a fear of yours, and, having gleaned a recent and prevalent one, will shift into that. Hence why it would be Snape, who recently tormented Neville, rather than Bellatrix, who Neville has never met.

It still stands, however, that Bellatrix is a known Death Eater, and Snape was just his potion's teacher.

We also see from Harry's own experience with the boggart, that the boggart hesitated before turning into the dementor. It "chose" which of Harry's fears to become, Voldemort, or fear itself?

Now, because I always listen to both sides of a story, try and see it from both perspectives before I draw a conclusion, I asked myself "why?"

There never is a good reason for abuse, but I still tried to look at it from Snape's eyes. And the conclusion drawn was literally the same as almost every single motivation for every one of Snape's decisions: because of Lily.

Neville was born several hours before Harry, and was a contender for being "the Chosen One" (the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies) but Voldemort chose Harry.

By Snape's logic, it meant that if Voldemort had chosen Neville, Lily would've still been alive for him to woefully pine for from a distance.

And so he takes it out on a fucking c h i l d.

He abuses him, torments him, and even forces Neville to poison his pet toad, Trevor, who has been shown to be of incredible significance to Neville.

And when the potion doesn't poison Trevor? And actually proved to be a competent potion? Snape made his displeasure known by deducting five points from Gryffindor.

I know that's not a Big Deal™ in the grand scheme of things, but we have to remember that Neville was a CHILD.

Moving on from Neville, let's get to: Lily.

Remember what I said before, about Lily being his end-all and be-all for everything? I meant it.

I'm not saying she was the sole reason Snape became a Death Eater, but she was the "last straw."

Snape's dislike for muggles stemmed not from Lily (of course not, he loved her), but from his father. Yes, I remembered his father, Tobias Snape. The muggle, the abuser. Apples and trees, I guess. From what I recall, Tobias was never physically abusive towards Eileen, Snape's mother, but he was emotionally and mentally abusive towards her. This would be cause for resentment for any young child growing up in that environment.

But, for a moment, may I direct your attention to Harry James Potter?

Who grew up that exact same way with the Dursleys?

Who was also neglected (Severus was said to have ill-fitting, mismatched clothes, sound familiar?) but who also did not have Eileen there to protect him?

And did Harry ever become a member of a muggle hate group? (No. The answer is no, in case you all didn't remember that Very Important Detail of the series).

So, yes, Snape was abused, and no, I am not condoning it, I do sympathize with him on that front: no child should ever go through that. Ever. No matter the fucking child, there is no good reason for it. But do I condone his actions later on in life? Absolutely not.

Because he called Lily a "filthy mudblood."

Not just "mudblood", but a filthy one, too. And why did he do that? Because she defended him against his bullies. Yes, Sirius and James were bullies, I guess everyone's faves are a little problematic in this bitch.

And not only did he call her that, but he also was besties with people who fancied themselves the next generation of Death Eaters.

And when Lily asked him if he STILL intended on becoming one, he never gave her an answer, prompting her to sectumsempra all ties with him. Meaning, she probably gave him multiple chances to not be a raging bigot, none of which he took. Love of his life my fucking toe, gtfo—

Also, Snape obviously knew what his "friends" were doing at the time. Particularly, and especially, Mulciber's attack on Mary Macdonald.

Now, we can't talk about Lily without talking about James and the Marauders.

I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN THAT THE MARAUDERS BULLIED SNAPE, OKAY? But listen up: still not a good enough reason to join the wizarding world's KKK. Actually there is no good reason, period, end of message, send tweet.

He loathed them so much, he literally gave zero fucks about their wellbeing.

Even though! Sirius' biggest crime against Severus is jokingly telling him to follow Remus Lupin under the Whomping Willow during that time of the month.

And Severus would swear that James' biggest crime against him (after "stealing" Lily, of course) would be stopping him from encountering the werewolf and saving his fucking life.

Where the fuck was that reciprocated energy when Snape KNEW that James was also marked for death?

Also, are you going to tell me, that with his ear so pressed to the ground about news on Lily, that he didn't know who the real rat was? That he didn't know that it was Peter Pettigrew? This is speculatory, but... Snape had to have known that Sirius was not the betrayer, he must've at least known it was Pettigrew, meaning he let an innocent man waste away in Azkaban and for what? Something that happened when they were kids? I wonder why Sirius is a "stray dog" idk probably because someone let him rot in Azkaban for thirteen years?

Don't even get me started on how he literally stepped over James' body to get to Lily's while Harry sat there crying. Please. Or the fact that he only wanted Lily spared? He literally said "yes, only her, please, Dark Lord, fuck that newborn"?

OKAY AND MY FINAL POINT BECAUSE THIS GOT TOO LONG AND HONESTLY I'M LITERALLY WAY TOO FUCKING ANGRY AT THIS POINT... I PRESENT TO THE COURT: THE CARROWS.

Severus had been made headmaster of Hogwarts, and what does he do? Allow the Carrows to torture muggleborns and first years. Eleven year olds. Disgusting. Please. What the fuck.

I don't think Severus Snape died a fucking hero, or in "penance." NOT when twelve hours prior, he'd been turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to eleven year olds screaming as the Cruciatus Curse was used on them.

Also, James never sexually harassed Lily? Wanna discuss sexual harassment? How does "waiting outside the Gryffindor common room until someone lets you in even though it has been made very clear that the person you want to speak to doesn't want to speak to you" sound?

I am not denying that Severus Snape is a tragic character; he's a very complex and somewhat interesting one, even. All I am saying is that I don't think saying "always" on the brink of death excuses any of your past actions. He's a martyr at best — having his sins "forgiven" by sacrificing himself for a just cause.

Yes, this is a hill I'm willing to die on. But, as always, I am open to a respectful conversation (not argument, conversation). If you disagree, I'd love to hear why. Try and change my mind; as long as you do so respectfully, I will hear you out.

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - The King and Queen of Hearts

The existence of this episode just baffles me, as it undermines so much of what season three was trying to accomplish. 

Summary:  Rapunzel continues to try and restore the memories of her parents, King Frederic and Queen Arianna, and hopes to use the journal of Herz Der Sonne to remind them, but they do not understand the significance. Arianna still lusts for adventure, while Frederic cannot get over his obsession of egg collecting. Rapunzel recruits her friends to try and set up the perfect date for them and while they cannot find anything in common personality wise, they share a mutual love for Rapunzel. However, King Trevor arrives with the intent to woo Arianna using an ocean crystal he found.

So What Exactly Is the History Here? 

We have no context for this sudden love triangle. All we know is that Trevor hates Frederic because he’s still in love with Arianna who wound up marrying him instead. 

But like, I don't know why Arianna married Frederic. I don’t know why Trevor is still hung up on her years later. Did she actually choose Frederic or was it an arranged marriage cause that’s what royalty did back then? Was she having an affair with Trevor this whole time but couldn’t/wouldn’t leave because of duty? Was she and Trevor pining star crossed lovers, or is Trevor just an incel? 

I know what the story wants me to assume; that Arianna deeply loves Frederic and that Trevor is just a jackass loser; but the series has done such a poor job of making Frederic likable and giving him and Arianna any sort of chemistry that I’m inclined to side with Trevor. 

For all we know, he may be trying to rescue Arianna from both her memory loss and her abusive relationship while at it. Especially now that she’s no longer needed as a ruler and has no reason to stay in Corona. 

Why Not Just Use the Potion from Rapunzel: Day One? 

While any Varian cameo is appreciated, it doesn’t add thing to the story. In fact it only raises more questions. We already had a cure for the memory loss, why aren’t we using it? 

Even if we write it off as Rapunzel no longer having that particular Saporian spellbook on hand, she still has a whole dungeon full of actual Saporians who know magic that she could gain information from! There’s also Xavier, who already knows everything under the sun about Saporian/Coronian history and magic and owns spellbooks galore. You’re telling me he just has mood potions lying around but can’t brew up a cure for memory loss? 

Then there’s also the fact that the amnesia spell doesn’t work on Rapunzel’s parents the same as it did on Rapunzel and we’re never given a reason why. Like just some basic consistence is all I ask show. 

I also can’t figure out what Varian is even trying to do here. Where’s is the science to this? What does strawberry goop and lighting have to do with memory? It’s just a cheap reference to Frankenstein and nothing more.  

We’re Already Pass Seven Months Since Rapunzel’s Return. 

Ok, I have gotten into frequent debates with people about the timeline of season three. Many a story board artist and writer on the show have came forward and stated that season three was only one year. But the very existence of this episode disproves them! 

If you remember season one, Hearts Day took place after the Goodwill Festival, but before Queen for a Day. Even when putting episodes back into their intended production order that still remains true. 

Hearts Day has to be at least seven months past Rapunzel’s birthday, if not eight months, because the Goodwill Festival is six months past and her parent’s anniversary (QfaD) is nine months past. 

Now Rapunzel’s Return has to be Rapunzel’s 20th birthday because season two was a full year, and even if you say it’s not, then that still doesn’t explain Once a Handmaiden (the Goodwill Festival) coming after this episode.  

And no you can’t move the episodes around, Once a Handmaiden has be the second to last episode of the series and Under Raps always comes after Rapunzel’s Enemy in any order you watch the series in. 

No matter how you slice it, we’re missing a birthday episode for Rapunzel and season three has to be more than a year; a year and a half at the very least, if not two full years.  

Look I’m not trying to be disrespectful of the talented artists who worked on this show, but their word isn’t law. The very fact that they���ve had to tell us the timeline after the series was over with indicates bad writing, and the very fact that the show itself contradicts them indicates either a lack of communication behind the scenes or a lack of editorial oversight. Either option is just poor management. 

We Have Yet Another Failed Narrative Promise! 

Are we seeing a pattern yet? 

This is the third time in a row where the episode flat out states that Rapunzel needs to learn something and then, just, never has her learn it; four if you count her non-apology to Varian. Instead the show rewards her for her bad behavior by just giving her want she wants on a sliver platter for no adequate reason. 

In fact, one could argue that this episode is the worst offender in the show because divorce is a real thing real kids have to go through. Children that will undoubtedly watch the series. 

How upsetting would it be to such a child to watch Rapunzel force her parents back together  with zero consequences and realize that they can’t do that in real life? It can potentially feed into misplaced delusions or make them even more bitter, either way it’s unhealthy and super irresponsible to tackle such subject matter in this way. Even Sesame Street handled the topic of divorce better than this supposedly ‘mature’ show. 

It’s a Castle! Why Can’t Frederic Get His Own Room?

Frederic is the king. He still technically owns everything even if he’s not the one still in charge. He could have his pick of any room so why is he forcing himself on Eugene? Hell he doesn’t even have to stay in the castle. As pointed out during The Return of the King review, there’s other accommodations within the kingdom that’s suited for royalty. Why not head up to that mountain retreat?  

This is a Really Bad Message 

I understand that this is meant to be a joke, because of how ridiculously over the top it is, but because the series gives Rapunzel what she wants in the end without ever having her acknowledge how she is wrong here, it winds up validating her toxic world view anyways.

Divorce is not inherently a bad thing. We should be working towards both normalizing it and promoting healthy coping mechanisms for those that go through it, adult and child alike. What Rapunzel is doing here is just repeating puritanical fearmongering. And while I can understand why she might behave in this way, I don't understand why the show refuses to call her out on it. Or any of the other million bad behaviors she displays repeatedly through out the show... like the example below for instance... 

Why Am I Suppose to Like Rapunzel Again? 

It’s like the writers don’t understand that a joke can damage a character, especially if it’s overplayed. Super sweet upbeat Rapunzel snapping because she finally met someone who was annoying or a situation she couldn’t just solve with a positive attitude was funny maybe like the first time; but we’re three seasons in and this is supposedly her closest loved ones.  

Look at them! They’re fucking terrified of her! All they did was point out that she maybe should do her job and deal with real problems instead of poking her nose into her parents business where it doesn’t belong! And this brat is now the ruler of the whole kingdom!? No one can legally stand up to her. 

Like where’s the Eugene that stood up to her in Under Raps for trying this same bullshit? Why hasn’t she learned her lesson? She also pulled this same bullying tactic on young Lance and teen Eugene two episodes. Cass left her ass, supposedly, because of her bossy thoughtless ways. And this is also the same woman who abused a child back in season one and still has never acknowledged it. 

Yes characters should be flawed, but they should also face real consequences for their actions, and if they’re a protagonist they need to learn and grow past their flaws. 

I actively started to dislike Rapunzel after this scene. I already felt something was off way back in the season three opener, but this is the point where I stopped and went “What the fuck?” She used to be my second favorite character behind Varian. I didn’t go into this wanting to hate her, even after this episode I still held out hope that they were trying to purposefully lead up to some sort of falling out with everyone and with Rapunzel having to own up to her bullshit in order to win. You know like a classic third act “the hero is now alone due to their past mistakes” type story. But Nope! 

There’s no pay off for any of this. Rapunzel is just mean for the sake of being mean in season three, and no one is aloud to call her out on it. She’s now the same type person as Frederic, a tyrant. That’s not a good development! 

She’s Literally Bullying Her Own Parents Now, and I’m Suppose to Find that Funny? 

Yes, Frederic is her abuser, and yes some people might find this scene cathartic if they hate him. But this isn’t actually calling out his past abuse. It’s just Rapunzel treating a now powerless old man with that same abuse and denying him bodily autonomy. An old man who has both less political rights and less power within the relationship than her; since due to his memory loss he is now dependent upon her. 

In the real world it’s the equivalent of picking on an Alzheimer's patient who is in your care. I don’t give a shit how much of dick they were before the illness set in, you don’t fucking do that!  

Why Should I Want Arianna and Frederic To Be a Couple? 

The show has done nothing to sell this relationship. In fact one could argue that the show is trying to purposefully sabotage it. 

Before the memory loss Frederic was proven to be abusive, to the point where even his own wife was afraid of him and wouldn’t stand up to him. Meanwhile Arianna was shown to be a shell of her former self who’d all but given up upon the things she actually enjoyed in life. And now that they both have had a second chance they have even less motive to stay together. 

Look at Arianna up there? She’s clearly not enjoying her time with him. While he doesn’t want to engage in anything that she likes. I mean a couple doesn’t have to share their interests in everything, but there still has to be some sort of connection and the series just does not give us that connection. 

There’s no reason why they should stay together. They no longer have any commitment or duty to fulfill as rulers and their daughter is fully grown. Contrary to what Rapunzel says, the kingdom isn’t going to fall apart if they separate. It actually would probably better for everyone, including Rapunzel, if they got divorced. At least then she’d have to grow up somewhat and stop being a controlling asshat.  

Why is Attila Here?

I thought Attila got a job running his own bakery and that it was Lance who became the new cook at the Snuggly Duckling? Even if you argued that Attila was just doing Rapunzel a solid that still wouldn’t explain who is running the place when Lance isn’t there. 

If you’re going to set up developments like that then you need to either stick with them or give an on screen reason for why these previous developments are no longer relevant. Flat out ignoring them like this is just lazy. 

Lance’s New Outfit is the Best Thing About the Episode, and It’s Also a Complete Waste.

Lance deserved a new outfit because the team was too lazy to give him one for season two, even during the island arc. This however is a waste because it doesn’t add anything to the narrative. People were paid to make this thing for it to only show up for a few seconds of screen time. 

This Whole Exchange Is Gross. 

Oh let me count the ways in which this is so, so stupid. 

Neither Rapunzel nor Frederic has ever proven themselves “thoughtful and responsible.” In fact both of them being irresponsible is intentionally a plot point in the main story arc.

How would either Frederic or Arianna know any of this? Not only have they lost their memories, but they didn’t raise Rapunzel themselves and those traits aren’t inherited; they are taught. 

Gushing over your grown daughter isn’t a point of connection! 

Why would anyone be compelled to kiss a practical stranger, that they previously didn’t even like, just because they both admire some woman they also barely know and happen to be related to? What is the thought process behind this? “Oh we made that? Then lets make another one!” What the fuck show? I’m ace and even I know that’s not a normal thing to get titillated over. 

The Series Turns Frederic Into a Literal Baby In a Last Ditch Effort to Make Him Likable 

The whole point behind the amnesia plot was to absolve Frederic of his past wrong doings. You can’t call out an old man with Alzheimer's for being a dictator, I suppose. (not like that’s ever stopped me from criticizing Ronald Reagan, tho)  But from there the series then takes it one step further and actually infantilizes both Frederic and Arianna, because Chris assumes that if he makes Fredric as pathetic as possible the audience won't hate him any more. Well guess what, it didn’t work. Frederic isn’t suddenly a poor woobie just because he’s useless now. That’s not how that works.  

Rapunzel Literally Physically Assaults a Person, Kidnaps Them, Threatens Them With Even More Bodily Harm, and Causes an International Incident; All Because They Asked Her Mom Out On a Date! 

You can’t hear it in the screen shots, but there’s very clearly a clanging sound to indicate that Rapunzel just wacked Trevor upside the head and knocked him out. 

Let me repeat, a Disney protagonist just committed armed assault against a guy, simply because she doesn’t respect her own mother.

What the Fuck!!!???

Arianna is fully grown woman. She is perfectly capable of making her own choices and she agreed of her own volition to go out with him. In fact she’s the one who asked Trevor if she could come along on his sea voyage. It’s not Rapunzel’s place to interfere with that. 

Secondly, Rapunzel shouldn’t get a free pass to attack people just because she’s doesn’t like them. And she most assuredly shouldn’t get to write off her cruelty as justice because she's royalty! What the hell? You just turned one of your official princesses into a literal tyrant for the sake of a joke, Disney! 

Where the fuck was the oversight on this show!? 

And to top it all off, Trevor is a ruler of a competing kingdom. This could easily have been deemed an act of war. Thankfully for everyone involved Trevor has far more sense and compassion than Rapunzel and doesn’t push the matter. 

Yes that’s right! The intentionally annoying prat and comedic antagonist is a more upstanding person than the main heroine! Let that sink in! 

Wait, If Laws Don’t Apply Out In the Ocean, Then Why Did Eugene and Max Have Jurisdiction to Arrest Lady Caine in Peril on the High Seas? 

Max shoved this same rule book into Eugene’s face when Eugene rightfully questioned if it was his job to arrest the mutineers. This book said that it was not only his job, but that he was also legally required to stop any and all ‘wrongdoing’ no matter where he was at nor whether he was on duty or not. While also failing to specify what ‘wrongdoing’ entailed. 

Now that’s very problematic and ridiculous for a whole host of reasons that I’ve already covered back in my review of Peril on the High Seas, but this scene now adds a whole new layer of stupidity to the mix. 

If zero laws apply out in open waters than yes, Eugene and Max were acting out of their jurisdiction. Not only that, but the pervious dumb rule regarding their duties is also now null and void. So, Justice For Lady Caine! 

Oh, but were not done yet, cause it gets dumber. 

If laws, including marriage don't apply, then getting married while out at sea also would not apply. Thereby rendering Trevor’s plan useless, unless they got married back in Equis. Which if they did that, it would bypass the entire pointless rule book completely because Equis is not subject to Corona’s laws anyways. 

There’s not even any ‘inter-kingdom’ laws that they would be subject too because Equis isn’t a part of the seven kingdoms. Any treaty they did previously have with Corona would be something else entirely, and Trevor would be within his rights to end such an agreement.     

Also Trevor is a king. He can do whatever the fuck he wants. Same goes for Arianna.

Ummm, No You Don’t Rapunzel

Trevor can’t marry Arianna without her agreement to it. It’s already been established that she’s physically capable of taking care of herself and she’s also mature enough to make her own decisions. If she did wind up marrying him it’d be because it’s her fucking choice to and Rapunzel has zero right to interfere with that.  

There’s no one to rescue here. Rapunzel has no reason to go chasing after her mom. All this is doing is denying a grown woman agency over her own life. Why should I or anyone, root for Rapunzel here? 

You Do Know That Arianna Has More Than Just Two Choices Here, Don't Ya Show?

Arianna doesn’t have to be in any relationship. That’s also an option. While I personally like Trevor, this shouldn’t be a choice between him or Frederic. The show should be asking what Arianna, as a character, would want for her life, instead of just shoehorning her into just being a wife for someone else. 

I still don’t know what Arianna really wants in life, but I do know that being a domestic housewife and a queen does not suit her. She doesn’t actually like being tied down with commitments and responsibilities. She’s repeatedly indicated over and over again that she feels uncomfortable in her role. 

But the show reduces her into trophy to win and turns her into a damsel in distress multiple times. Then it further neuters her so that she complacently walks back into that life over and over again for no logical reason. She’s treated not as a person but as a prop.    

Really, Arianna? Are You Really Sure About That? 

These aren’t Arianna’s words. They’re Chris’s. 

Arianna has shown zero interest in Frederic up to this point. The closest they got was during that creepy boat scene where they just jumped to almost kissing for no real reason.  While before now Arianna was making actual goo-goo eyes at Trevor earlier, before Raps stepped in and broke them up.  

They actually do have things in common and had a genuine point of connection. They even almost kissed themselves until Raps started being a dick. No forced and icky conversations about their grown children needed here folks!

While I still firmly believe Arianna should just be single, the show does far more to convince me that she and Trevor should be together more so than her and Frederic. Everything about this scene on the boat feels forced and hollow because it doesn’t ring true to what was previously established. 

This just isn’t good writing. It’s the animation equivalent of a six year old smashing their Barbie dolls faces together and shouting “now kiss!”, all because a middle aged man couldn’t get over they fact people didn’t like his self insert. 

No, wait, I apologize. That’s being mean to six year olds. They usually have more interesting plots and established characterization than this.  

Hey, Remember When the Series Villainized an Orphan For Stealing This Stupid Book? 

Yeah, stealing the book was treason and the mains ruined a child’s life over it, but apparently it just doesn’t matter any more cause no one seems to give a shit about Trevor taking it. Like, yes, as the king of another kingdom, Trevor isn’t beholden to Frederic’s bullshit, but you would think that the characters would treat this as a bigger deal than what they do, given how they responded previously to it being taken.

Unless Rapunzel was just talking out of her ass back during The Alchemist Returns. That’s also quite possible.  

This Literally Has Nothing To Do With You Rapunzel 

Just because Rapunzel herself is a woman, doesn’t mean that stealing the agency of another female character isn’t misogynist. Especially when their both written by primarily men.  

Every guy who was involved with the writing of the episode, should be fucking ashamed of themselves!!! 

So What Exactly Has Trevor Done Wrong Up To This Point? 

Yes, the story board artists and voice actors do a lot of heavy lifting here to try and make Trevor seem like a creep. Arianna’s body language and tone of voice when dealing with him here will be very familiar to a lot of women, I’m sure. I know what it’s like to have a stalker and not know how to turn them down because you’ve been trained all your life to ‘be polite and nice” to people, and I’m not unique in that regard. 

But here’s the thing, it’s not set up properly. There’s nothing backing this sudden shift in the characters’ dynamic. Up till now Trevor has been a perfect gentlemen. Sure he was over the top as always, and you could call it an act when regarding his politeness to Frederic, but he seemed to genuinely respect and admire Arianna and clearly desires genuine affection in return from her. Why would he suddenly stop behaving in a way that worked for him and start talking over her instead? 

Also why wouldn’t Arianna just tell him no to begin with if that’s what she wants? She had no trouble speaking her mind before now. But that begs the question why she wouldn’t return his feelings as well, because as stated above, she clearly showed interest in him previously. 

This is So Fucking Forced

Yeah, okay, you’re daughter has no reason to be here to begin with, disrespected your wishes, and attacked Trevor first. At this point I’d argue he has a right to retaliate. Especially since, if Rapunzel was allowed to board, you know she’d just attack him again, because she knows no other way to resolve conflicts other than to hit people very hard.  

Arianna’s actions here only make sense if she’s kept in the dark about what an awful human being her daughter really is. That’s poor writing. 

Also, having a woman just punch people while denying them actually agency and choice within the plot is not ‘girl power.’ It’s fucking misogyny!

How Does Doing the Bare Minimum, and Just Showing Basic Human Decency Count As ‘True Love’? 

What was she suppose to do? Let him drown? I mean I wouldn’t, and I despise the man. Not to mention anyone else could have done the same thing. They’re all right there. If Lance had jumped to the rescue would Trevor have proclaim them lovers too? 

Trevor Is Still the Better Man Here

Here he is rescuing Rapunzel even after she treated him like shit. 

Best. King. Period. 

This Still Doesn’t Redeem Frederic 

So through out the episode Frederic has inexpiably shown an obsession for eggs. He now collects them even though this was never an established trait before now. But whatever. He’s just been through something traumatic and looking for something to ground himself.  Far be it from me to make fun of someone else’s special interest. If you like to collet eggs than good for you. Go live your life to fullest. 

That’s more respectful than how the show handles it, as everyone dismiss his interest and it’s treated like a joke through out the episode. Only to have said obsession save the day. But this isn’t here to teach the others about respecting other people’s hobbies, oh no, it’s here to try and give Frederic a big hero moment so you’ll cheer for him. 

Except one nice thing does not erase his past actions! I don’t care what your hobby is, if you deliberately try to cause grievous harm to people you’re and asshole! And you will continue to be an asshole until you can admit what you’ve done wrong and try your best to make up for it. 

I Hope You Made Back Up Copies of The Tunnel Maps 

A bunch of people are more upset over this development than I am, because it is a historical artifact and preserving the past is important. But the only story function the book held was a map to the tunnels, and said tunnels were never utilized properly through out the entire show. 

To this day people still don’t understand that they’re meant connect the island to Old Corona or that Herz Der Sonne is the one who built them into order to invade Saporia because the show is so bad at its world building. And come season three, they’re all but irrelevant anyways. Such a wasted concept. 

Once Again the Whole ‘Memory Loss’ Subplot Is a Copout 

Ok that’s not how the spell worked previously, but that’s not what I’m taking issue with here. 

If the whole point behind the amnesia plot twist was to sweep Frederic’s awfulness under the rug, then I expect his past actions to be addressed once he’s regained his memories. They are not. 

This episodes reverses the very thing that the season was trying to achieve and just hopes the audience is too stupid/attention deficient to notice. Well guess what, we noticed and we’re far smarter than you Chris. 

Conclusion

I don’t understand the point of this episode. It shoots everything season three is trying to do in the foot. It screws up the timeline, makes Rapunzel even more of an irredeemable dickhead while preventing her from learning yet another needed lesson, undermines Arianna as a character once again, and it puts Frederic back in the crosshairs of the audience’s scrutiny. 

Oh and look, it’s written by the same guy who wrote Rapunzel’s Return. Why am I not surprised.  

Anyways another one down and only 15 more to go. You can support my continued marathon by dropping a tip in my ko-fi if you wish. I’m currently back to job hunting yet again and anything you can give is appreciated. 

https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

[lizacstuff]

Your thoughts on the first episode of the new season? And can we talk about all those parallels? Also I'm loving the summer vibes!

I'm LIVING for the summer vibes! Doesn't everything feel like a breath of fresh air? I definitely feel like new life has been injected into the series. And that new location is so beautiful, I LOVE IT.

As for the episode, I thought it was masterfully done. You could tell Ayse was back and bringing the perfect mix of comedy, romance and drama. And the sparkle! The show sparkles again. The almost two and half hours flew buy, I was on the edge of my seat, and the performances from Hande and Kerem were amazing. Plus I just adore every moment between Serkan and his new nemesis (aka his secret daughter).

On the sober side, I don't care how jerky Serkan got while battling cancer, or how he may have pushed her away, nothing they've shown us so far even begins to justify Eda not telling him about Kiraz, and it certainly doesn't justify her continuing to lie when he's standing right in front of her making overtures (and her daughter is clearly longing for her father). Obviously, there are still many things we don't know and I'm sure there are many flashbacks to come, and Eda has been though so much, but still...I don't see how they will thread that needle and have Eda come out unscathed.

That being said, with this first episode they executed this story so well and it really does give new life to the series, so I won't dwell on the fact that Eda never would have done this. Never. We just have to move past it, accept that it's a soap opera plot device designed to give us an amazing second season packed with all sorts of amazing scenes and just enjoy every minute while it lasts.

(More under the cut)

I'll get to more on Edser later, as for everyone else... silliness abounds.

First... Erdem cheated on Leyla? WHAT!?!?! With whom? But I guess that was a clean way to explain Leyla leaving.

Engin and Piril, I love that Engin is staying home with their son, and that young actor is a cutie! As for Piril... GRRRRRR... she is still on my shitlist. Last time it was for betraying Eda (and Serkan) by enabling Selin's reign of terror, this time it's by betraying her friend and business partner Serkan! Good grief. If Piril just found out recently at the start of this project I could accept on her holding off because it's not her secret to run off and tell, but what I can't accept is her actively working against Serkan finding out. Even if in this episode she had gently said to Eda... "do you think maybe it's time you told him?" it would be a lot easier to swallow... but nope! She's acting like it would be the end of the world if Serkan found out. I sincerely hope that when everyone finds out and Engin finds out Piril knew, it causes problems between them. She deserves that.

She remains my second least favorite character. Who was my least favorite character this episode? Oh you know! Awful Ayfer is back! We got a reprieve from her in the last arc, but she's back to her annoying, controlling, Serkan-hating ways. Eda is a mother, an international award-winning landscape architect and business owner and she still has to lie to Ayfer because she's such a pain-in-the-ass? Watching her is going to be a trial.

Even though it feels like both Aydan and Ayfer were reset to zero character development, and Aydan has done worse (keeping the fact that Serkan was alive from Eda) I still find her a much easier character to take. Probably because Neslihan is a much better comedic actress, so she's a lot more entertaining. But... Aydan's been with Kemal for 5 years and hasn't told Serkan? WHY? I can't believe Kemal didn't give her an ultimatum years ago. I was loving, however, Serkan being in the way for both Aydan/Kemal and Engin/Piril. GOOD. Those people caused problems for him at one point or another or were in the way, it was nice to see him return the favor. I like Kemal and am still hoping they'll do a parallel "not knowing your father thing" and reveal he's Serkan's bio dad while Serkan is finding out he had a child he never knew about.

Melo and Seyfi were their awesome supportive, funny selves. It was great to see both of them, I'm so glad they stayed.

As for the new characters, love the kids. The new hotel manager is apparently ditzy and starstruck over Serkan, and I don't really understand how she's going to be integrated into the cast, but I love that she was used as a device to show us that Serkan has zero interest in any woman who is not Eda Yildiz. Eda's assistant seems like he'll be a fine side character. As for Burak, he seems harmless, obviously he has feeling for Eda that she does not reciprocate (fuck off Ayfer trying to push her on him) but hopefully they don't make him a psycho like Deniz. I did think he was a bit out of line to Serkan. Isn't that his cafe? And a customer has his glass spilled by a child in his care, and he insults him instead of apologizing? That is the worst customer service I've ever seen! He's a character that could wear on me quickly, we shall see. Kiraz can't help but be sassy because of genetics, but some of the adults in her life seem to be modeling rude behavior!

Now on to Eda and Serkan, I can't say enough about Hande and Kerem's acting in this episode. Phenomenal! They were both brilliant. Plus both are doing a great job working off of Maya (especially Kerem) those scenes were priceless. I don't often enjoy kids on shows, but so far I'm loving this dynamic.

As for Edser, while we don't know everything yet it feels like Serkan got to a point where he couldn't stand to see Eda in pain and putting her life on hold, he outright mentioned that she might not have graduated if they'd stayed together, and so that was part of the reason he reverted to his robot self and pushed her away. I'm going to guess she tried and tried and he was just unyielding. Saying he didn't want to get married or have kids in the harshest way possible. Perhaps even she went to tell him that she was pregnant and he went off on not wanting kids before she could even tell him. Time will tell.

At this juncture, my best guess is Eda's fear is rooted in rejection. It can't be that she thinks Serkan is a terrible person that doesn't deserve to know his child, or would be detrimental to Kiraz. However, she knows what it feels like to be rejected by Serkan, I'm sure she was beyond devastated, so I'm guessing now she's bent on protecting her daughter from feeling that same rejection. She fears if he found out, but wanted nothing to do with her, it would feel worse than him not knowing. She's not thinking clearly and perhaps it hasn't even occurred to her that the man she fell in love with is still under there and that man is fully capable of opening his heart wide to their child.

The fact that this child, a stranger to him, already has him wrapped around her little finger to the tune of being late to meetings while he waits for her to pick berries, speaks volumes.

The lies that Eda is telling Kiraz though... there is a fairy tale poetry to Eda saying her father is among the stars... but there was no way this would ever end well. Such a bad idea. Eda.... has made mistakes.

As for Eda and Serkan, their reunion was so bitter sweet. The way Serkan was sure he was hallucinating her and couldn't believe she was real, speaks to the fact that his thinking he saw her that morning was not an anomaly. It must happen all the time. She's never left his thoughts in 5 years. Especially since Engin makes it clear that women throw themselves at Serkan all the time, and he never bites. That's a lot of years celebrate, pining after a love he lost through his own actions. Though it's not that surprising that he didn't pursue other women, as he's never been a character who was motivated by sex. Which makes it hilarious that during his presentation that's where his mind was at, remembering their intimate times together. Serkan Bolat is an Edasexual.

Serkan seemed to want to brush past what happened between them, how they ended, but from Eda's pain, it's clear it was gut-wrenching and tragic and that's something he's going to need to recon with in the coming episodes. But how refreshing that they actually talked! That Eda actually expressed her pain to him! Wowza, that's a change from recent episodes when they didn't even have a proper conversation after he got his memory back.

The flashback scenes were a combination of pure brilliance and pain. Just rip out my heart why don't you. Serkan's angry reactions seem very believable for someone suffering what he was going through. I think it's typical to lash out at the person closest to you. And their fear and pain, their commitment to getting him better and seeing it through... those scenes were made all the more heartbreaking knowing that they didn't make it out the other side intact.

On a lighter note, I loved how even despite their intention and best efforts to remain closed off to one another, and away from one another, they couldn't. Physically, Serkan couldn't stay away, and every time Eda was in his presence you saw her resolve slip and her start to feel that old pull towards him. The fact that Eda thinks there's any way to keep this secret and get rid of him, she must just be in full panic mode and not thinking clearly. She's never going to shake him.

Thank goodness Serkan came back and actually issued a sincere apology for what he said at coffee. He definitely owed her one, but what was extraordinary is that it showed that the growth he went through when they were together didn't regress. He was able to apologize and explain that he was angry and hurt and that's why it happened. If you remember from the first time around, saying sorry was something he was just unable to do, so this felt big to me. He's not the same robot Bolat, she left an indelible mark on him.

As for him making her present her proposal, it's really not out-of-line for the professional relationship, however, we all know he did it just so he had an excuse to be around her. That man will take any excuse, plus he likes to get a rise out of her.

The dinner scene was breathtaking. How beautiful and achingly romantic was that setting? Wowza. And what a roller coaster of emotion those scenes were. It was great to watch them talk and laugh. Who didn't swoon when he deveined her shrimp and when she gave him fries? But we had to know it wouldn't last. Eda's speech had me breathless. Serkan had that coming, it hurt but it had to happen. What a relief to see them get things out in the open. Now I hope we get to see them really talk about what happened and why. Explain yourself Serkan!

As for the next episode, I was so hopeful that the Kiraz secret would be out after the final scene, but the first fragman makes it look like that's not going to happen, at least not at the start of the episode. My fear is that if Eda outright lies to him that just makes everything worse. The longer she keeps it from him, when they're back in each other's orbits and it's clear he's not running away, it makes her more and more at fault.

In any case, it looks like we're in for some fabulous scene so I look forward to the second episode!

[agentnico]

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) Review

Why specifically 1984? Why not 83 or 85? What is so significant about 1984? 83 had Ronald Reagan propose development of tech that would intercept enemy missiles, and the project was called “Star Wars”. In 85 there was an earthquake in Mexico that killed 9,000 and Coca Cola made a new Coke! Impressive stuff! What happened in 1984? *another quick Google check* Aids break out. Oh. Oh no.

Plot: Diana Prince lives quietly among mortals in the vibrant, sleek 1980s - an era of excess driven by the pursuit of having it all. Though she's come into her full powers, she maintains a low profile by curating ancient artefacts, and only performing heroic acts incognito. But soon, Diana will have to muster all of her strength, wisdom and courage as she finds herself squaring off against Maxwell Lord and the Cheetah, a villainess who possesses superhuman strength and agility.

After many delays due to COVID once again doing a COVID and messing things up, Warner Bros. finally released Wonder Woman 1984, due to concerns of audiences losing interest in the project. I remember enjoying the first Wonder Woman years ago, and though it didn’t reinvent the superhero genre, as an origin story is was watchable and there were a couple cool action set pieces, such as the notable trench sequence where Diana fights through No Man’s Land and literally all that’s missing is her screeching “GIRL POWER!” everytime she deflected a gun bullet! Anyway, nothing ground-breaking but a decent piece of entertainment. Now we have sequel set in the 80s that plans to go bigger, bolder, grander.....well, you know, the usual sequel stuff. And they have the Mandalorian himself along for the ride, because even Warner Bros. knows that this is the way.

Having watched the film I must say, it is disappointing. Though in reality is it really disappointing? Personally I had hardly any expectations anyway, so it’s not as if my hopes and dreams have been crunched and shattered and thrown into a pit of despair! Wow, that came off as if I am super in denial, which I am not, I promise, okay?? In all seriousness though, the movie is a mess. With a runtime of two and a half hours, the film is filled with pacing issues so much so that I can say I was bored 50% of the time. A lot of it doesn’t make sense, the editing is atrocious and also this baby is filled to the brim with plot holes! So. Many. Plot Holes. For example, right from the start, one of the opening scenes involves Wonder Woman stopping a robbery at a mall. The robbery in itself is botched up. "I'm not going back!" screams one of the criminals, so hey, I'm going to hold this kid over the railing and almost drop her so that I can go to jail for murder. Genius writing there. Anyway, so Diana swoops in, saves the kid obviously, then proceeds to destroy the cameras in the mall as if that will also magically erase the footage that has already been recorded as well as all the witnesses that have seen her show off her bongo-bongo power mojo. So she’s trying to hide her identity and existence a secret, and apparently has been doing so for years, yet all her heroic moments happen in the middle of the public’s eye, so there is no way that she could have stayed confidential all this time. Then again, Superman can put on a pair of cheap glasses and all of a sudden he’s this random fella named Clark Kent, so what do I know? My guess is that the human population in the DC world are stupid and aren’t capable of adding 2 plus 2! Right, onto the next plot hole. So throughout most of the film, it feels like the movie is set in autumn or something along those lines. One of the characters gives food to a homeless person and tells them to stay warm, and also many people passing by are wearing coats and furs. Suddenly at one point there is a firework display and Diana winks to the camera and says “oh look, it’s the Fourth of July!” I’m sorry, last time I checked that date is set in the summer. Why would I know this? Well maybe cause it happens to also be my birthday! Next! So Diana can fly in this movie. How? Or why? I don’t know! Because “GIRL POWER!” I guess? I don’t know, this new superpower comes out of nowhere, yet its not referred to at all in Justice League, which is set many years later. So yeah, sounds like director Patty Jenkins couldn’t give a single flying dollop of poop about continuity. Speaking of random decisions, Wonder Woman’s new golden armor serves absolutely no purpose at the end of the film. She decides to randomly use it one point for no particular reason, and in fact it slowed her down more than anything, after which it was all forgotten about. Look, I can go on forever, this movie is filled with disorganised and erratic plot decisions and it makes zero to no sense!

Visually this film is disappointing too. Taking into account that this is a big budget film from one of the biggest film studios, the special effects in this film are atrocious. The green screen is so obvious and the CGI sets are clearly fake. Diana spends a lot of the film doing jumps and then floating in a very peculiar way in the sky, and it looks laughably bad. Even the 80′s setting doesn’t feel quite right. Yes, the costumes are somewhat okay, but the atmosphere is off and it seems the director’s opinion of the 80s is that everyone needs to act like a caricature.

Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman is okay. Look, Gadot seems like a very lovely and earnest person in real life, and her face is indeed very likeable, but I still haven’t seen her give a good performance. It’s the typical pretty Hollywood face, and you can tell she’s trying her hardest, but I can never properly buy her as this female superhero pop culture icon. Chris Pine returns even though he died in the first one. Look, the way he’s brought back is a bit strange, however I did actually like seeing Pine in the movie, as he was one of the best parts of the first film, and he brings that same charm and charisma in this one, now with the added factor of being the fish out of water. And to be honest, his presence actually does provide the movie with some needed emotional heft, as it explores the ideas of having to get over someone you’ve lost and learning to accept it and move on. In terms of villains, there are two in this movie. Kristin Wiig as Cheetah feels very shoehorned in and is mainly there to have Diana fight someone at the end of the film. Kristen Wiig does her part, however the character is written really badly, and her development into becoming a villain comes off as rushed and cheap. On the other hand Pedro Pascal as Maxwell Lord is actually not bad. He’s not the typical superpowered baddie, he’s actually a normal human being, and even though, again, there are some inconsistencies with his character, Pascal brings enough swagger and panache to the role. And I’m sure he actually enjoyed playing a role where you can actually see his face.

As a whole, Wonder Woman 1984 is a mess. There are some good moments, but generally this is a very disjointed movie that doesn’t make sense and is extremely chaotic. Also, the entire thing is really boring. I’d say if you want more of an organised and wholesome movie, check out Disney Pixar’s new animation Soul! Or The Mandalorian with Pedro Pascal, as indeed... this is the way.

Overall score: 3/10

[darkwingsnark]

FIC WRITER MEME

Tagged by @prince-luffy

AO3 name: DarkwingSnark

Fandoms: ...SEE, I’m in lots of fandoms. Or at least, I’ve written for them during hyper-fixation periods. Let’s see what AO3 says...

Batman: The Animated Series (20)

Batman - All Media Types (7)

Wander Over Yonder (Cartoon) (6)

DuckTales (Cartoon 1987) (5)

Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero (5)

Penguins of Madagascar (3)

James and the Giant Peach - Roald Dahl (3)

Darkwing Duck (Cartoon 1991) (3)

Disney - All Media Types (3)

Dan Vs. (2)

Milo Murphy's Law (2)

Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja (1)

The Batman (Cartoon) (1)

Lady and the Tramp (1955) (1)

Looney Tunes | Merrie Melodies (1)

Winnie-the-Pooh - All Media Types (1)

Alice in Wonderland (1951) (1)

Gummi Bears (TV) (1)

Winnie-the-Pooh (Disney) (1)

.... Honestly, I feel like there’s more that this list isn’t covering. Like Phineas and Ferb isn’t here and I wrote for that show too. And many of these can be simplified and condensed because they belong to similar fics.

Tropes: Depends on the fic. But as a whole, tend to write Romantic Comedies with a lot of slow burn. Mostly because... struggle is funny. People being dumdums and oblivious to the obvious is funny. Aaaaand also because it allows the episodic quality of shenanigans to occur.

Number of fics: Up and posted on AO3? 53. Does not include stuff on FF.net or that’s sitting in google docs begging to be finished.

Fic I spent the most time on: Not sure how to read this. Does it mean active man hours? Or does stuff like having a hiatus in-between count? Because TECHNICALLY ‘Real Value’ was started in high school, and I didn’t rewrite it and carry on the series (with Moonie) until many years later. There are also fics like ‘Growing Love’ or ‘Priorities’ that took a lot of time to do research. Like learning how to build a lawn mower so I could have a character believably break it apart for repairs.

....God I do a lot of research that doesn’t go into the actual fics. Because all I need, really, in the confidence of what I’m doing to be the character and describe an action here or there. 

Fic I spent the least time on: Probably something drabble related? Or maybe the fic I did that was just me venting out emotions because I was feeling guilty? ‘A Mother’s Intuition’ was written and posted within a couple of hours.

Longest fic: Complicated. The longest thing written is technically an RP, NOT a story. (Different, trust me.) ‘What Happens in Gotham’ has a word count of  207,413. But fic wise at 89,022 word would be ‘The Constant Gardener’ . 

Runner up being ‘Priorities’ at little over 87k.

Shortest fic: Drabbles? Uh, let’s see.. Probably from ‘Beauty and Your Worth’, as i think one was literally a paragraph long. ... Speaking of Gummi Bears, I wonder if I still have my notes on the GruffiGusto fic I wanted to write. Something to look into.

Most hits: Apparently ‘Fallen Hard’ at  5354

Most kudos: Also ‘Fallen Hard’ at 518. There... were more fans of Milo Murphy’s Law than I realised. 

Most comment threads: ‘Fallen Hard’, 193 comments. ‘What Happens in Gotham’ following at 185.

Most bookmarks: .... that’s something people care about? I hardly ever bookmark things, since I read it in one go. But... I can look?

Ah.... ‘Fallen Hard’. 63

Total word count: 971,833 Oh hey! Almost a million. That’s something to celebrate.

Favorite fic I wrote: 'Knights of Dobenshire’. Hands down. (With ‘Heart of the Cards’ being very close.) I like writing road trip styled stories. It allows many things to happen within the narrative. BUT, ‘Knights of Dobenshire’ wins because it was such a satisfying conclusion of this build up, you know? Scrooge is finally no longer just putting up with the relationship with Fenton, but fully embracing it. That surprise feeling that hits him when he realizes, dear lord, he IS attracted to Fenton beyond affection. 

It hits me more than a mutual pining because there I KNOW they will get together. But here? While writing with Moonie? I DIDN’T KNOW! I was worried in the end we’d have to write another fic to finally reach that step. Scrooge is stubborn and does what he wants, let me tell ya.

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: 'Fallen Hard’, ‘Season of Miracles’, ‘Going with the Flow’, pretty much anything that isn’t complete. BUT, not posted, I really want to get back to more of the stories planned in the McCrack series. It was a ship I kinda made from the ground up, with nobody caring about it in the beginning. So it feels very important to see that series through.

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on:

... Actually, I can share something from 'Donald’s Party (Working Title)’. @swampy-tiefling and I started. Just the first scene to get you guys hooked.

Donald took a deep breath of air from the doorway of the house and sighed, once again pleased to find himself at his home away from home. Traveling the seas and exploring the world with the navy were its own rewards, he supposed, but there would never be anything quite like the countryside-- the middle aged mallard having practically been raised on Grandma Duck’s farm. Donald Duck was happy to be on shore-- his naval carrier being docked for the week in Duckburg as they replenished supplies and took care of whatever repairs that were needed. Whatever excuse his bosses wanted to use were fine by him, he was just happy to not be scrubbing decks for a change!

That didn’t, however, mean he was able to rest and relax-- as the duck was startled out of his thoughts as somebody bumped into him. That somebody was his grandmother as she came to, just having caught her plate of cookies before they fell.

“My land, Donald! What in the world are you doing hiding here when you should be meetin’ and greetin’ the guests?”

Donald ignored the woman’s soft glare as he waved her off, using his other hand to steal a cookie in the process. Stuffing it in his mouth, he murmured out a response.

“Phooey, they’re just relatives.”

“Even more of a reason to go out and talk to them.” Before the sailor could argue, Grandma Duck placed the plate of treats into his hands. “And put these out on the snack table while you’re at it. Poor Fethry is looking peckish.”

Donald rolled his eyes, but otherwise did as he was told. Wasn’t it just like life to make him work at his own welcome home party? Walking towards the open yard where the party was taking place, it didn’t take long to reach the table, where his cousins were already gathered around as they chat.

This instantly caught the attention of the lankier duck, his gaze zoning in as he smiled widely towards Donald in greeting.

“Well if it ain’t the guest of honor, with snacks to boot!” Fethry leaned closer, his red hat wobbling with him as he continued to inquire. “Say, cuz, ya wouldn’t happen to know if these are gluten free, would ya?”

Donald gave him an unimpressed look. 

“You’re not going on another crazy diet, are ya?” Though, in all honesty, he was more worried his looney cousin might try to drag him along-- and after months of eating nothing but mush, he would NOT miss out on his first chance to pig out on actual home cooked meals.

"Not crazy at all, actually!" Fethry grinned that goofy grin. "See, it's all right here; Gluten Free; It's the Way to Be' !" he shoved a rather lengthy-looking hard cover book in Donald's face. Donald had no choice but to stare at it, the words all blurring together from its close proximity to his eyes. The offending object remained there for only a second, however, before it was yanked back, the nutty mallard already busy flipping through it.

"Let's see, here, there's a fascinating chapter I think you should-- Don?"

Phew, that had been close. Donald was still in sneaking away mode, and jumped and yelped when he was tapped on the shoulder. Oh no. He'd been caught, after all. He slowly turned, with a forced, toothy grin, to face his fate.

A wave of relief washed over him when he saw his girlfriend, Daisy, smiling sweetly at him, instead.

“And where do you think you’re sneaking off to, Mister? You’ve been gone for so long, and here we are, with you haven’t even given me a kiss ‘hello’ yet.” 

Now there was something Donald didn’t mind doing, as his girlfriend leaned in her face for her reward. Wrapping his arms around her, he planted the biggest of smooches to her temple. 

“Gaww, I’m sorry Daisy. I really did miss you.”

This earned him a soft smile, as it was Daisy’s turn to kiss him on the forehead.

“And I missed you, hun. Now, tell me… why WERE you sneaking around?”

“Grandma put me on entertainment duty.”

“Well, “ his girlfriend began, “it IS your party, after all. They came to see you, seems fair to me.” This made the sailor groan as she looked at him unsympathetically. Rolling her eyes, the reporter sarcastically patted her boyfriend in comfort. “There there. Now don’t go sneaking off for real, the boys will be arriving soon. And Grandma tells me Uncle Scrooge will be bringing along a special guest.”

“Special guest?” Donald asked incredulously. “Like who?” This caused Daisy’s eyes to glimmer all the more in mischief, a look that told him that she knew something he didn’t know. And that something was big news, if he was reading her right.

“Oh, nobody TOO special, I suppose,” Daisy was stalling, and it was driving Donald up the wall. The duck woman continued her teasing. “Nobody except your uncle’s new date friend.”

"Date friend?" Donald practically exclaimed, prompting Daisy's grin to grow all the more smug.

"Yep! You've missed quite a bit since you've been away, you know."

"No kidding...well I'll be..." Donald was shaking his head, but he was smiling. Uncle Scrooge, dating, at his age... it was nothing short of a miracle. It was about time, too!

"Meanwhile, why don't you go say hi to the rest of the guests? I know it's hard..." she rolled her eyes. "but at least make an effort, okay? Thanks, hun!"

Donald's heart fluttered as she smooched his cheek, and left. He glanced out over the yard, and saw quite a few familiar faces; Gus, Ludwig, Gladstone... heck, even Gyro Gearloose had shown up!

He sighed, but this one wasn't a sigh of pure despair. It did feel nice to be home, surrounded by people who most likely cared, and his nephews were even going to show up soon. Not to mention, he'd get to tease his uncle for finally taking his advice on the whole dating thing. 

That alone gave Donald the pep in his step he needed as he threw himself back into the party-- where he knew his crazed family would be waiting for him. 

[believerindaydreams]

crude, lewd, and gentlemanly

in which Lister pines for a roadside assistance lady. yes I am writing slash for an advert. crack played straight

well, sort of straight. not actually that porny, tragically, but I had a lot of fun anyway 

"Sir. Sir, I don't know that you want to hear this..."

"Feel free to leave off then," Lister says, not looking up. The keen and eager gaze currently being devoted to a copy of Big Easy Read Ganymede is one, Kryten can't help noting with alarm, one usually reserved for only the most pungent vindaloos and the music video of "Five Hundred and One Fun Things to Do In Liverpool When It's Raining (Which is None)" by the Spice Anti-Assigned-Sex-But-With-Female-Presenting-Nipples (ASSBUT).

In short, it is one doozy of a gaze.

"Well, it's a very small matter, sir. Possibly none of my concern, but.... well, we all can't help noticing that in the last week, you've managed to involve yourself in no less than fourteen major crashes."

"Uh huh?"

"To say nothing of the minor ones."

"Uh-huh."

"Ah. Well. Glad to see you've noticed," Kryten says, with a highly characteristic combination of hasty relief and mildly hesitant irritation.

Lister sighs, puts down the atlas. "You know what rule one is of picking up girls, Krytes? Don't do it when they're on the clock."

"As I recall, the last time you told me rule one, it was to never confuse the whipped cream bottle with the lubricant-"

"Forget all that," Lister says. "You've got eyes- okay, you have sensory diodes or whatever they are, I've got eyes. And what my eyes see is the most beautiful woman since- since- well since that time I fucked myself from a parallel universe, okay? Heh. I am such a good lay."

"What about Kochanski?"

"Maybe it's different for robots, Krytes, but humans tend to go off a woman when it turns out she's your mother."

"Or Holly?"

"...sorry? You think Holly, hello-I've-got-computer-senility, oops-that-black-hole-is-actually-a-carbon-smear, is more attractive than that dazzling star who can strip a photon drive inside of four minutes flat?"

"It depends on your point of view, sir. One of the snack machines on Level Nine confided in me once, that the right set of electro-fibres could just get them just so gnarly in the morning-"

"...Kryten, love to hear about the coffee dispenser's unrequited love some other time, not now. But you get the problem, yeah? She's got an AA time-hopper that locks on to the scene of an accident, as soon as she gets us fixed up it yanks her back three million years again, what's the point even asking for her phone number? All I can do is keep getting into accidents while playing the smoothest jazz in my collection, and just- hope for the best."

"We are running out of operable Starbugs, sir."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Lister says, fondling a set of jumper cables with something approaching rapture. "I can always crash Red Dwarf instead. Considering everything she's survived, the ship can handle a few knocks."

Something, Kryten decides, is really going to have to be done about this.

*******

"...his wingman?" the AA lady says.

"That's me!"

He is, the Cat reflects, looking smooth. More than smooth. These grandiose, sequined shoulder pads stretch out miles.

"Literally, I take it." She hits a computer module with a rubber mallet. "So if he wants to take me out for a little zero-gravity exploration while this sat-nav patch finishes downloading, why doesn't he just ask? The way he pilots, he hasn't exactly been short of opportunities."

The Cat screws up his face, thoughtfully. "Oh. Old Box Head said something about waking up to be told your whole species is dead causes psychodrama, blah blah blah, - now I’ve been there, and I can say, I wouldn't be like that! If I wanted you, I'd be all, hey gorgeous, aren't you one wozie hum-dinger of a flyer, what say we go and have ourselves a little fun...."

"But you're not doing that?" the AA lady asks after a moment.

"Lady," the Cat says, almost sentimentally, "you wear overalls. You think a fine looking specimen of a Cat like me is going to be caught dead waltzing the two step with you? All I can say is, keep on dreaming baby, cause dreaming is all you're going to get."

"...while Lister, I take it, has no objection to my fashion sense." Her mouth's twitching.

"Nope! What can you expect of a guy who thinks curry stains are a fashion accessory- so hey, you two are pretty well matched. That's one good reason for you to pair off. And another one is that it'll annoy Rimmer-"

"Will it?"

"Oh, sure," the Cat says breezily. "It'll get right up those hologrammed nostrils."

The AA lady whips the door open.

Somewhere, not terribly far distant, somebody is playing "Penny Lane" on a guitar.  

"Hey, Listy! Interested in a good fuck?"

The guitar music stops. "Thought you'd never ask!"

******

"You know, I really didn't think that approach would work. So much for plans B through W," Kryten says, stuffing down twenty feet of computer ribbon down a recycling chute. 

"Are you kidding? You just have to look at old HoloHead and pow! Hatred of him is a force stronger than gravity or those little packets of Martian sriracha," the Cat says, fiddling with the volume control. The sound of heavy breathing and a Liverpudian lilt whispering sweet nothings intensifies.

"I'm still not sure it's polite for you to be doing that," Kryten fusses. "Just because they're enjoying the ship's Exhibitionist, Squash And Frilly Umbrellas spa facilities, doesn't mean they necessarily expected anyone to watch-"

"Then be of good cheer, Kryten, because nothing untoward is going to happen." Rimmer's stride is firm, his holo-uniform freshly reprogrammed with gold braid and the E-Spacebay Blue Peter badge. "At least, not with her."

"Now Mr Rimmer, I really think-"

"It's time that Lister gave way to the inevitable," Rimmer says. "The man he's quite literally spent half his life with."

"...you mean me?" the Cat says, his tone veering somewhere between polite interest and general disgust.

"I mean me! The one who Holly decided was his perfect life's companion, out of all the possibilities on this ship. The Morecambe to his Wise, the automatic sprocket attachment to his...whatever it is sprockets attach to, I suppose. My god, we were roommates."

"Just saying? Between you and Mr Vacuum Groin over here, I'd pick the vacuum first," the Cat says.

Rimmer ignores him. "It's time I faced up to my destiny, too. Reached out and grasped the man right in front of my nose, this fried egg and chutney sandwich out of which I must take my first, mellow, unstinting bite-"

"Guys, you do realise you left the intercom on both ways," Lister calls.

Rimmer jumps. 

Falters. 

Looks at the microphone with nervous determination. 

"Lister? I think you should know. That faced with the prospect of- actually, genuinely, losing you, I've decided it's time to be brave. To say out loud, no takebacks, that I love you."

There's a pause. "Rimmer, that is just about the nicest thing you've ever said in your life."

"Wasn't it?"

"But if you think I'm gonna stop halfway through the windup for the best fuck I've had in years, just because you've finally wised up and decided that you're queer now, you need a reboot and a lie down in a quiet room somewhere."

"...does that mean, you're telling me no?"

"Course not! I'll get to you, I'll get to you- but first come first served. So we’re starting with- uh- what was your name again, sweetheart?"

"Thought you'd never ask," the AA lady says, rather coyly. "It's-"

Rimmer reaches out and switches off the feed. "Well, damn. How inconsiderate can you get? How? I ask you-"

"It's just possible, sir, that your sense of timing's off," Kryten says. Almost humming with contentment.

With two humans, a hologram, and possibly-or-not a sequin-shedding cat to get in on the action, it’s just occurred to him there’s bound to be all sorts of exciting new messes to clean up soon...

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Morose Mononokean II 4 - 7 | Mob Psycho 100 II 4 - 7 | My Roommate is a Cat 4 - 6 | Double Decker! EX 1 | Egao no Daika 5 - 7 | Shield Hero 4 - 6 | Magical Girl Spec Ops Asuka 4 - 6 | Royal Tutor movie

Morose Mononokean II 4

Aw, another little fuzzball to steal away my heart? I’m being spoiled, aren’t I?

For some reason, this episode was meant to be really emotional, but I felt pretty restless while watching it. Probably because I was thinking about playing Merc Storia all that time.

Mob Psycho 100 II 4

Didn’t expect Shinra to be back after his previous appearance…

Notably, you’d expect Matsuo’s name to have the kanji for “pine tree” in it, but it doesn’t - it has the kanji for “demon” and then one more.

I loved it when FLCL and SGRS went into manga mode, but for some reason, the transition into manga mode didn’t land as well here…hmm.

“I’ll go inside her…With an out-of-body experience.” - That sounds majorly wronggggggggggg, Mob, y’know? Even with context.

I find it interesting Mob perceives himself to be naked…as in, unguarded. He’s fine as he is and doesn’t need to change…in some ways, anyway. He could probably do with a few more emotions, but you get what I mean.

Wha-wha-wha-whoaaaaaaaaa. You mean, Mogami just got rid of Mob’s powers??? That is a nasty cliffhanger!

My Roommate is a Cat 4

Just seeing Hiroto near Kawase’s armpit…so unfazed…it’s kinda funny, but only mildly.

Tuxedo cat…ergh. The differences between American and British English never ceases to trip me up…I mean, the term makes sense…it’s just the differences between the types of English I’m annoyed at.

If you observe the OP, you’ll see Haru has that collar…I’m not sure if that’s meant to be a spoiler then…

Haru basically has the mindset of Kaguya and Shirogane, which makes this hilarious (and yet it’s still justified due to being a believable mindset for a stray!).

S-Smug dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get out of the way of Haru-chan!

Shield Hero 4

“Draw your swords!” – Wasn’t there a rule saying Naofumi can’t use a sword anyway? Plus, Motoyasu has a spear, not a sword…

Balloon? Now, that’s funny!

Using magic to intervene is the cowardly action, methinks, Myne.

I find it interesting Naofumi sees Raphtalia as a little girl – it’s a perception of vulnerability, potentially weakness – when things are shown through his perspective.

Falling Through Starlight is beautiful, y’know that? Be-a-uuuuuuuuuuu-t-i-ful!

Magical Girl Spec Ops Asuka 4

Interestingly, Francine kinda looks like Mami (Madoka Magica).

Wait, is this woman Miura? (Sorry, I’m just wondering why Abigail – the blonde evil magical girl – would choose to use yakiniku to threaten people…)

Oh dear…it’s that train question (save one or save many).

Neding authority before you can actually do anything legal…now that sounds like Double Decker.

“Chef”? I was mortified when it came to the rusalka scene…but I think we already know why Povar is a chef…

CQC? Close quarters combat? Ooh, I’ve never heard it abbreviated before.

Well, I like how Povar and Rusalka Man (can’t spell Russian to save my life) always keep their salaries in mind. Makes them easier to see as evil.

Egao no Daika 5

Oh, this series has two moons? Kind of like Double Decker’s two suns, yeah?

I just realised Lily’s the only one with a skirt on her suit…

Morose Mononokean II 5

I don’t think I’ve seen a Fuzzy-centric episode ever since the first time we met the furball…

That hand on neck thing is apparently a CIA technique if I interpreted it right…just, it’s applied to a purple/white lion, so it’s hard to tell whether it’s the real thing…

Fluffy tadpole is best tadpole. All fluffy things are cute to me, even the lethal ones…I guess.

Seriously, if someone doesn’t call the animation of the Executive sakuga, I don’t know sakuga! That crow is some fancy animation!

Hanae’s mother is scarier than most youkai, given she can give me a nasty jump scare!

Mob Psycho II 5

This episode’s called Discord…which maks me think of the chat program of the same name…weird, huh?

Notably, it’s Dimple’s voice coming from Mob’s mouth…hmm.

That episode was real cool…it’s too bad by turning off the volume at the wrong time, I missed the Sajou no Hana song…

My Roommate is a Cat 5

Roku, Nana, Hachi…haha.

I noticed Haru has smaller eyes than Hachi…aside from the collar of course.

Aw…reunion too cute. I honestly think that this show has a fairly effective use of “filling in the gaps”, as it were, and thus making good use of cuts.

Double Decker! EX 1

Yep, we’re back with Double Decker!!! I’m glad to see it back, really.

Wait…ohhhhhhhhh. So Double Decker! doesn’t just refer to the bus in this show or the system. It means “2 Detectives” in Japanese (in a codeswitching sort of way). It was wordplay all along! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! I get it now!

This Deana assassin stuff must be a lie…

(after the commercial break) C’mon, Kirill, buddy. You’re drunk, y’know that, right…? Right??? Update: Oh, not drunk, dreaming. My mistake.

Oh, I was just saying that My Roommate is a Cat dos a nice job “filling in gaps”. Didn’t realise Double Decker did it as well. Also, how the heck is Doug unpopular with women???

So…Kirill actually got hired based on his feminine looks? Geesh, that Travis…

The thing I missed about this show was not being able to play the ED after an episode, so I’m glad to have it back!

Spec Ops Asuka 5

Having Kurumi fix up Nozomi’s arm kind of erases the consequences…but that’s what Kurumi’s for, right?

Barber Scissors…? Is this what happens when you take Kill la Kill way too seriously?

Wowee. Din’t think Sacchuu was capable of dealing nasty punches as well.

There’s gotta be some sort of parallel between Abigail and the queen vs Asuka and Kurumi…

Post-credits segment. Keep watching.

Shield Hero 5

Headbutt to the nuts! Oof!

When it comes to races, the one tune that comes to mind is one from the Dog Island (track 22 from this YouTube playlist).

I swear there was CGI during the race…on Filo.

Please don’t make jokes about Naofumi liking lolis, people. This is not that type of show…

Mononokean 6

Is it just me, or has this epiode been relying on the use of blue speech bubbles for humour more than normal?

It’s Mononokean: Sports Anime edition!

For some reason, I find the name “trashboat” hilarious. It was probably just “ponkotsu” (piece of trash) in practice, but the variation in English is really something to behold…

Ashiya sleeps like an old man, LOL. It must be cosy in that bed…

Moja is just adorable in whatever scene it appears in! Even Moja being dragged down a stream is cute~!

Relaxing your shoulders, huh? That reminds me that that’s a destress technique I haven’t used in a while. My head’s been spinning while I was trying to watch this episode, so I should probably get back to trying to do that stuff…after this episode, of course.

Price of Smiles 6

You think Spec Ops Asuka looks bad? Look at Price of Smiles melt in this “Yuni! You should recover!” scene.

For some reason, this one dude (I forget his name) being a father surprises me. He looks like the type to be single…

The female version of the name “Noel” is Noelle…get that right, people!

Layla’s right when she says one of the main causes of war is the struggle for resources and wealth.

Mob Psycho II 6

I noticed instead of a Mac or something, the computer is a “One” computer.

The board says something a lot more complicated than Saitama’s routine…which means One likes exercise. Maybe…probably.

“Codomo” phone, LOL.

The last time I heard of tofu in anime that I remember…was Boueibu. Something about Ryuu killing a man with tofu.

Somehow it didn’t occur to me until the eyecatch was over but the block…was tofu!

How do you even get drunk when there’s no alcohol in the drink??? (LOL)

Oh! Shinra again!

…Also Jodo Kirin!

Shield Hero 6

Naofumi is giving 0 f**ks about the dressmaker’s love of Filo.

Why is Filo CGI…? It looks unnerving, to be honest with you.

My Roommate is a Cat 6

Eleventh grade…16? 17? Heck, Yugo looks 27, not 17!

Notably, “Comic Polaris” is the name of the magazine that publishes the manga of this. Hence “Novels Polaris”.

Heck, Subaru. In the internet age in particular, people write to affect others. I should know, as someone who did just that just a few years ago!

Oushitsu Kyoushi Heine movie

Yay, we’re back! Crunchyroll bringing over movies is definitely increasing my workload for these commentaries, so with all the new things I’ve added to my lists of priorities as of late, I wonder if I can keep up…

Hitting us with CGI in the first minute of the movie…oh man, how far does CGI go these days???

Honestly, in my brain Wagner (Classicaloid) = the twins (this movie) = the Beppus (Boueibu LOVE! LOVE!). They’re very similar in terms of personality…

In the same way, Bruno = Schubert from Classicaloid (but swap one’s Sensei for the other’s Senpai).

Licht = Motz.

It seems like someone liked ponytail!Licht enough to keep him here. So it really wasn’t just me, huh?

Seriously, what’s this “God of War” stuff anyway???

Man, vocal exercises? This takes me back to my piano-playing days…I was a sightreader and only had to do one of the two (out of sightreading and vocal stuff), but there was someone else who had to do both.

This piano is bugging me. Its white keys are black and its black keys are white!

Somehow, Heine’s small top hat suits him. It’s probably because he wears a small beret in that same position usually.

More CGI background characters…*sigh*

Hmm…soft power at its finest(?)

Seriously though, why did that evil Duke guy appear in this movie again??? He has zero use plotwise. Sure, he was important in the first season and if we ever get a second he’ll be important there, but here? Nada!

Have you noticed Heine is in all those dance positions a girl would normally be in??? Hmm! Interesting! But still…if there’s one thing I ever missed from the anime’s experience, it would be-oh, scratch that! This is my cue to watch the cheesy live-action dance ending! I missed it so much!

Egao no Daika 7

Seriously…who is Eins talking to??? Whose emperor???

They still haven’t revealed what this new guy’s name is, even after his introduction…well, technically he was introduced at the River Deese, but we still didn’t learn his name then. (Did we?)

Spec Ops Asuka 6

Is Mia just this show’s version of Kyouko (from Madoka Magica, but American of course)???

Oooooookay, that (with the kissing and stuff) is so not what foreigners are like, people…

Oh, goodness. Have I really been living with this stuff (girl x girl teasing, with Kurumi in particular being one of the more extreme examples I’ve seen) in my magical girl anime for years now? I mean, Suite PreCure is laced with the stuff…

If ordinary rigor mortis business is at work, then I’d say the heater is to speed up the rotting of the corpse…

LOL, there’s Halloween-class…and then there’s Voorhees-class…how appropriate for Disas.

“Only one of the Magical Five would’ve known about that phrase.” – My bets are on Peipei, but we’ll find out for sure…someday.

Mononokean 7

As much as I found the pillow fight scene with Fuzzy in it funny, I swear Abeno is a bit too sadistic for my own good. What is it with some women and their sadistic kinks…?

Abeno calling Ashiya “hunk of junk” makes me think Ashiya isn’t much of a Sousuke (from Classicaloid), but they do have a lot of similar character traits, now that I think of it…hmm.

For some reason, I think Abeno knew the conditions of the deal and what the deal entailed in advance, hence the training camp.

Seiza…means sitting on the floor in the position Ashiya was in (knees to the floor etc).

Mob Psycho II 7

“Cheeseburger Tornado”, LOL.

When Reigen got angry at the TV, I was just like, “It’s Shield Hero (Mob Psycho version)!” I.e. you con the conman and not turn the conned into a conman…or something like that.

Those microphones are so obviously CGI, people…

I know I’m a fan of Yuzuru Tachikawa, but episode 5 actually didn’t do too much for me, to be honest (even though it was visual spectacle, which is Tachikawa’s strong suit). However, while episode 7 looked less punchy overall, it was miles better…

“First-press limited edition? That is the absolute best decision.” – What is that referring to??? Update: It’s referring to the BDs...or DVDs...or both.

Update: Forgot to add Double Decker to the title and tags.

[jeanjauthor]

Writers?  This is the artistic version of a short story.

Artists...?

...WHY??

So...many...questions.

A lot of this breaks what writers call “the willing suspension of disbelief.” It’s where the audience is willing to overlook implausible things in order to keep following the story.  At some point their credibility has a limit, a breaking point where their ability to suspend and ignore their disbelief will snap, like hanging a thread from the ceiling, and then putting too much weight on it.

Some of these weighty questions include:

Why is she "standing" like that? She looks like she's sitting on an invisible stool!

Why is her cloak/sheet still bound up like that if she's been fighting long enough to get her sword bloodied?

Why is she so pristine when the wyrm corpse is clearly freshly arterially injured??

Why does she have no shoes and pristine feet when she’s clearly touching a bloody corpse?

Why is the tag end of her cloak/sheet...thing...whipped up under one leg and over the other when she’s been chopping up a monster and now has to fight another one?

Again, why is she so clean??

There are so many WTF questions...

What is she sitting on?

If she’s not sitting on anything, how is she supporting her weight in that position?

She’s not being supported by her feet, that’s for sure--is she seriously en pointe with her left foot (the one on our right, visually)?

And the one on the left (her right foot), if it’s resting at a 45-ish degree angle on a corpse so freshly butchered it’s still spurting, how is it she’s able to keep it in place when it should be slipping out from under her by all the laws of squshy meaty blood-filled things?

Where is the missing V shaped wedge of that tail?  Look at the angles on those two cut ends; there is clearly a whole big fat wedge of flesh that is missing!  If there wasn’t, that tail would literally have been an L shaped structure with the cut angling on the diagonal down into the corner, and that is just disturbing to contemplate...

...Where are the arm bones in those dragon-wings?? Seriously, that is disturbing, seeing the thin metacarpals and phalanges (the “finger bones” of wings if you look at wings as nothing more than elongated & weirdly angled hands) ...but not the arm bones...so where are they??

...Now this isn’t to say the picture is all bad!  The concept is actually a neat idea, looking like a cross of Lord of the Rings meets all those hedonistic Renaissance paintings of the Ancient Greek mythos.  And it would be 100% correct to mix mythos like this, as the Renaissance painters were doing that all over the place, mixing Greek mythos symbology into Biblical art, and vice versa (all of which was fan art, btw).

The streaky effect of the Nazgûl is wonderful, though I’d like to see a bit more tattering (along the same diagonal upper left to lower right lines) on that right side of the Ringwraith fellow, there.

The Ringrwraith even seems to be bending the airwaves around and above him, with the effects of the clouds sort of streaking in toward that bright spot in the sky above and behind.  It makes it look like the halo is sucking in all the Light before fleeing into the West, or trying to suck the Nazgûl  off the face of the planet to hopefully disinterate its evilness out of existence...

The bright part of the sky also kind of looks like dragonbreath fire, even though the Fell Beasts that the Nazgûl rode upon aren’t evern mentioned (as far as I can recall) as being able to breathe fire like dragons.  So that’s another point of coolness.

I have no idea what’s going on anatomy-wise of the presumed fallen and chopped up Fell Beast, but at least some effort has been made to provide it with a (weird) internal structure.  If it really is a Fell Beast and not meant to be a dragon or a wyrm, then I can accept the odd anatomy and darkness of the...I’m not sure if those are bones, but I’m presuming that it has some bones in its tail, and if it’s a foul abomination style creation, I can accept the creator had no clue.

I do like the crispness of the woman in focus versus the Nazgûl who is equally clearly not in focus.

Certainly the woman definitely looks like a Renaissance painting of a Greek Mythos Action Sequence! She’s in a classic serene, poised action pose that no doubt has some sort of supporting stool & armature behind and under the original model for her to rest her arms upon.

The symbology of Shield Maiden of Rohan certainly gets the first two components of that descriptor down visually: for the first part, she has a shield (lovely round thing, very Classic Greek Hero With Spiffy Expensive Metal Shield), and she definitely is using it to shield herself from something. (Plus the sword.)  The other part of the symbology is the “modesty sheet drape” under one thigh (gotta show off them nekkid thighs, Renaissance foiks!!) and up over the other, between the legs, blocking off any view of or access to the mons pubis...aka, shielding her maidenly modesty.

However, there is zero sign she’s from Rohan, because there’s zero symbolism representing Rohirrim culture...and the key element to Renaissance pictures of various cultures’ mythos were that they were rich with symbolism.  The Rohirrim, the Riders of Rohan, were emphasized over and over as horse people.

Tolkienn also cribbed the Scandinavian culture for his descriptions of them (I suspect the Golden Hordes of the Russian Steppes, heavily influenced by the Rus folks who were Scandinavians who had moved east and mingled with the Mongolian Empire remnants who a little earlier had moved west.  The Greeks knew of the Scandinavian peoples (no, really, they knew of them! Electricity is actually just the Latin word elektron (which comes from a similar-sounding Greek word I’m not going to bother to spell correctly), which meant amber, as in the petrified pine pitch being shipped down through Europe from the Baltic Sea in the far north, which is surrounded by Scandinavian countries.

Yet there’s no signs or symbols of Scandinavia about her, no knotwork animals, no amber, just pale blonde hair (which frankly could be representative of the British Isles or partial albinoism)...  So while there’s a lovely Greek Mythos in Renaissance Paintings feel to her...it falls short of being a true copy/homage, which is unfortunate.  It could’ve been so easily fixed, too, with a bit of knotwork braiding painted onto the cloak/sheet thing.

I will say that the folds of that sheet are spectacularly well painted, lovely depth and dimensionality to them!

Same goes for the condours of her body, and the tail of the wyrm.  I fully believe these are three dimensional objects!

The lighting is beautifully done.  Admittedly if the light is coming from that glowy bit of the sky behind the Nazgûl, she should be in shadow...except he’s a Ringwraith, and it’s 100% acceptable for light to go through him, since according to cannon, they’re not fully corporeal.  This is a “plot” point where fans who know the lore are more than willing to suspend disbelief.

I’m not a rabid Tolkienn fan by any means, but I do know enough to accept that Ringwraiths are wraiths, and not fully of the physical realm.  Plus, Greek Mythos Heroes in Renaissance paintings are supposed to be Bathed In The Light Of Holy Goodness, sort of an inner aura spiritual goodness radiance-effect, I guess...?  Either way, it’s symbolism, it indicates visually that the Light (Good) will shine through upon Heroes (& Heroines) when they are being their Most Heroic...and it’s very well done.

(...Another question if that’s her helm on the ground, where is the rest of her armor? Where are her clothes?? Or is this meant to parody the “sword and magic helmet!!” trope and the helmet was providing all her armor and clothes up until the point she removes it to reveal she’s a nekkid Not A Man? And really, are Nazgûl so far removed from their mortal lives that they need nakedness to be able to tell males from females of their own species...?)

If this were a story, it would be a crossover fanfic with awesome potential...but it falls a little short of what’s needed to successfully suspend the reader/viewer’s disbelief.

Why is it important to do a better job next time, to get these details a little more accurate? Because most Tolkienn fans I know are rabid about it, & willing to nitpick any mistakes or inaccuracies. Cast your minds back to the huge raging fandom debates around the Lord of the Rings trilogy movies about whether or not Peter Jackson & co were “butchering the mythos” of Middle Earth.

Also...I’m trying to figure out how the Nazgûl is standing, and on what if he is indeed standing, though perhaps he’s actually astride the fallen Fell Beast, and simply swung himself around while she was chopping off & somehow disintegrating that V-shaped wedge of wrymtail? I can suspend some of my disbelief for that, though it does add to the overall strain of that willing suspension, and obviously there were too many other issues that ended up snapping it.)

As an editor, if this were a story, I’d be telling the artist to fix the wing bones, to give the woman some shining chain armor with a Rohirrim tabard, or boiled leather armor and tabard--at the very least a tabard with the Rohirrim symbols on it!!. I’d also at the very least slap some Scandinavian knotwork on it, if not the actual Horse of Rohan. (I’d also suggest using the accepted colors for the Rohirrim banner, green and gold, though I might keep the majority of the tabard white and just have a gold-and-green knotwork horse centered on the chest, or something.)

I’d also request there be more chunks of hacked-off tail all over. (Bonus points if one of them looks like The Lonely Mountain!  lol...)

Plus, I’d give her at least a tiny bit of blood spatters around her boots and on her thighs & a little on the lower tabard, to show she’s been fighting in battle all along.  However, I’d actually hesitate to put the spatters any higher than belt-line at most (and definitely do something different than that cloak/sheet thing).

Why would I hesitate to get the chest area bloody? Because of the symbolism.

Renaissance paintings had blood & gore, but only up to a point.  She’s the heroic figure who slays the 3rd Biggest Nasty of the entire trilogy (#1: Sauron, #2 Saruman, #3 chief king of the Ringwraiths, the one she stabs in the face-hole), so she needs the symbolism of still being Clean And Pure Of Heart, aka no muss, mud, tatters, or blood in the torso (chest / heart) area.

In fact, if you just replaced the cloak/sheet thingy with just a tabard (a white one with a little knotwork on it, and put Grecian sandals on her feet...that would seriously fix a lot in this image.  You’d still get to paint the glorious three dimensional folds arrowing down between her thighs, “shielding her modesty.” and you could put some of the symbols of Rohan on the tabard (horse, knotwork, etc) to make her more clearly the Shield Maiden of Rohan, and not just a shield maiden, while still retaining that Greek Mythos feel.

(Plus, you could have a bit of Side Boob showing on the side closest to the viewer to make it clear She Is No Man, and still avoid the blasted censorship issues rampant in modern society, particularly on this site these days.)

...Definitely fix the dragon wing armbones with a bit of shadowing to remove the fact they look like they’re translucent with nothing along the upper/leading edge... ‘cause once unseen, I cannot un-see-it, and it’s creepy as-is...  >.>*

I love the color palette. It’s very dusky, as in nearing-sunset-dusk, with lots of earth tones.  It looks a bit dirty in its hues (as tragically poised battlefields should), and yet it has kind of a “Romanticism golden afternoon light” quality to it. These are all colors that I 100% believe Renaissance painters had access to and would’ve used.  Excellent choices!

At a quick glance, it’s a good painting.  When you look at it a little closer, however... the contrast between all the high quality stuff (lighting, three-dimensionality, focus versus unfocus, at least half the necessary symbolism is there, etc, etc) and the lower quality stuff (oy that lack of proper dragonwing armbones, etc) means it’s really not quite the artist’s best work, and it could be so, so very much better.  Why?

Composition is as important as technical performance.

Seriously, the way she’s painted is gloriously done...except for her positioning.  The dragon wings (I haven’t even touched on the odd angles of the metacarpal bones on the left-side one, just the right one, which is well done for the “finger bones” but there’s no way it should be pointing up lke that), those wings are too anatomically implausible, though I’ll admit they’re more about visual framing than being actual key features.

And lastly, if you’re going for a glorious Greek Mythos Renaissance Painting look to the art...go the whole hog.  Paint it like it’s Second Breakfast, Elevenses, Lunch, Dinner, Tiffin, Tea, Supper & Midnight Snack all rolled into one. 

Hell, paint a Loyal Dog (a staple of Renaissance symbolism), put it down at her feet (to represent the hobbit Merry, who was with her on her quests), and give it a little Rohirrim helmet and/or tabard!  Go the whole distance with this.  I truly believe this artist has that kind of quality in them!

If they did, I do believe all the old Renaissance Masters would totally thumbs-up this painting, if those flaws were fixed and the symbolism ramped up to at least a 9, if not necessarily a 10, rather than just doodling around down near a 5 or 6.

If this were a story and I was the editor for it (and presuming this was done on a tablet / computer, since if it’s an actual painting, that’s harder to fix), I’d definitely strongly suggest the revisions and rewrites listed above.  And then I’d pimp the hell outta this painting.

(Oh, and to fix the weird positioning of her body, I’d give her a Radiant Aura Of Goodness with some golden streaks of light or something angling out at all directions, so it looks like she’s kinda floating, rather than wondering if she’s “suspended” by secretly sitting on a stick or a tail spike or something.  That would help strengthen my suspension...as in the suspension of my disbelief.)

[geekns]

I am at the point where i love the fanfic versions of my ships more than the actual canon versions of them because my ships rarely, if ever, actually get to a point where my hopes and fears and anticipation and tears are actually rewarded. Like...

Five years of Philinda for one kiss and then they’re off the team (i’m sure they’ll be back... they better be back). 

Three years of Twissy to no real fruition, nowhere near enough screen time for Michelle and the tragic death of Missy with no reward, then the regeneration of my favorite Doctor. 

This after getting my heart broken over Doctor/Donna and feeling like i was being forced to accept Doctor/River (i love Alex Kingston but ship her with the Doctor i do not, which sucks in a way because i love River, too).

Kylo and Rey still haven’t even kissed... they’ve got one movie left to fix things and it’s just too depressing for me to put myself through watching the Last Jedi repeatedly because they’re still not together...

...and i would love for Star Wars to actually do pregnancy right in recompense for ruining my then-favorite female character in the SW verse. 

One of my first ships ever having a ~decade long separation after apparently being the shitiest parents of all time, and no happy ending.

Carter/O’Neill with the no fraternization and RDA not even being in the final episode

Roslin/Adama happening just in time for Roslin to die (just one of the ships that frustrated me to no end on this show)

Janeway/Chakotay never happening

Picard/Crusher being promised for the TNG films, never actually happening, and then we don’t even get TNG films anymore like...this is one of the best shows of all time and i don’t even get to find out what they’re up to without reading books that are not considered to be canon.

No happy endings for anyone. Like what happened to true romance? Are they even making RomComs anymore (which aren’t even my standard go-to in terms of enjoyment, like Fools Rush In being my fave because it makes fun of Rom Coms and Decoy Bride being amazing because of its witty awkwardness)? Because i can’t find anything on Netflix that isn’t old. It’s a bunch of international stuff that i don’t even want to get into, i know the K-Drama is all full of angst and pining and they apparently never pay off (at least, the one my sister got me into has driven me up a wall in this way. And she told me that no one kisses in these things, so that must be where they’re going with Reylo). 

The current trend in sci fi and action films seems to be to eschew romance entirely as unnecessary or unwanted.

Hope/Scott seems to be on hold if in the works at all.

No real T’Challa/Nakia

Peter (Parker)’s a free agent

Christine doesn’t want Stephen and Stephen is too much of a coward to commit to what he obviously wants.

There’s no Thor/Valkyrie (not complaining, but what happened to Jane? not that Natalie and Chris have chemistry)

We get Agent Cap (or whatever else they call it, no idea) where they never even had a first date and knew each other for a couple of years out of four score...

...and Hulk (who is still hung up on his ex last we actually checked in?) gets Nat (but then discards her) rather than Cap or Bucky or even Hawkeye (any of which would make more sense).

Pepper doesn’t want babies and Tony does?!?

Loki, the apparent womanizer of the comics and father and mother of monsters in the mythology, never gets so much as a flirtatious look in his direction from any significant characters (yeah the tittering party-goers in the background of Ragnarok do not even count). All the ships for him are with Thor (his brother, so incest, and i know it’s not genetic incest but they grew up together and still love one another as brothers. It’s canon that Thor is abusive and dismissive towards Loki and the couple of times i’ve tried to read Thorki fanfic they were wildly OOC) or with characters he has zero screen time with (i loved TaserTricks for a while). And he’s the most popular character in the MCU but gets his abilities and redemption arc retconned repeatedly to the point that he’s just a guy with knives who doesn’t even know how to use magic.

Oh and Scarlet Vision, which is apparently in fact canon from the comic books but is just boring. And is already over.

I could go on.

I mean even in Frozen and Moana there isn’t anything going on there and this is Disney we’re talking about. Perhaps i should clarify that Anna clearly fell in love but then spent the rest of the movie with a guy who she was just friends with (are they more in the shorts???) when her fiance was only using her. And Elsa has zero chemistry with anyone. So yes, all of these films have some moments of chemistry, flirtation, but no real character development of a romantic bent, no real intention of even forming an exclusive, long-term relationship that might lead to cohabitation, marriage, babies, etc. Like even Peter and Gamora are not quite an official thing even as Infinity War did a lovely job of making it feel like Peter was meeting her dad because they are a thing.

I miss romance. So apparently shared disaster scenarios do not equal lasting love in today’s storytelling (Jurassic World, Speed, Age of Ultron, etc.)...and everyone is so busy kicking butt that who really has time for relationships? Unless they are the relationships that i do not care for in the slightest and i feel like are being forced on me. I’m not against pining, i’m reading tons of it as Reylo fic, but the pairing eventually needs to get to the point where the characters are actually together and working on doing things as partners.

I love Robin Hood, Tangled, the Princess Bride, Much Ado about Nothing (Beatrice/Benedick), and Pride and Prejudice. I want some tension there, for the man to actually pursue a woman and prove himself to her. I want verbal sparring. Even better, i’d like for the dynamic to shift to where they are fighting side by side as equals (which to be fair Philinda and Hope/Scott is working towards). And apparently i really dig it when the older couple is the one that gets to finally find love (because yeah, now i’m getting to the point where i’m the woman who’s running out of time).

But my real question is how Feige is supposed to give us Young Avengers when none of the Avengers are pairing off? The settled with a family dynamic is sadly missing in the MCU and watching Incredibles 2 has made me bitter about it. Like it feels like Pepper is nowhere near as invested in the relationship as Tony is. Thor wanted Jane but wanted to wander around looking in all the wrong places for info about the stones even more (like why didn’t he go back to his father? Odin clearly knew a little about the stones in Dark World and, result, Loki knows more than anyone else?). Nat can’t even have a family, Clint and Scott are the only ones with kids. Christine and Nakia and MJ aren’t even a shadow of a thought in IW.

Does anyone have a fandom to recommend that actually has this sort of dynamic to it? I’m hoping that Judy and Don heats up a bit in season two of Lost in Space (as my niece puts it, they need to repopulate) but that could be ages yet like post-A4 or even post IX. I am so tired of feeling like the people who i want to be happy together are doomed to be working together but never together together. Please help.

[waytoomanyhobbies]

What Sherlock Doesn't Say to Molly

In light of Sherlock finally saying those three little words to Molly, I've been going back and tracing the progression of his feelings for Molly.  And one of the things that stood out to me started with that often analyzed Sherlolly question... "Was Sherlock really oblivious about the coffee invite?"  Because there is one thing that Sherlock has never said to Molly despite having ample opportunity to do so.

We've noted for ages that for all his supposed obliviousness Sherlock is socially perceptive enough to realize that John's questions about Sherlock's dating status could denote a romantic interest, and Sherlock immediately and politely shuts that down lest it create some misunderstanding or trouble with his new roommate.  Not that John meant it in that way, anyhow, but an ounce of prevention... 

So if Sherlock can recognize those social cues, how does he miss Molly's date invitation?  One could argue that Molly's invite was more subtle and at a time when he was rather distracted by the experiment that he was conducting at the time... except for one rather large fly in the ointment. 

For someone who is supposed to be oblivious to Molly, Sherlock is awfully damned observant.  His reaction to Molly's explanation is equally problematic if we are supposed to believe that Sherlock is completely oblivious. 

That is not the face of a man who is just going with the easy explanation.  Even as Sherlock starts to turn back to his notes, his eyes are warily fixed on Molly and his expression and body language seems quite suspicious and nervous, rather like a man who has just discovered a large cobra that looks ready to strike.  He knows there's more to this and that Molly is about to make a move.  This would be the perfect time to lay things on the line, as he later does with John, but instead he feigns complete ignorance. 

We've thrown out plenty of theories about his actions here before, but I think that in light of the progression between Sherlock and Molly it's worth a few new thoughts.  I am honestly not sure if Sherlock knows why he plays dumb at this moment.   As Mrs. Hudson points out in S4, Sherlock is actually all emotion... however in S1 Sherlock is firmly denying his emotions to the point that you have to wonder if he's even convinced himself.  

For as concerned as Sherlock was about his observation that Molly had put on lipstick for him, he's equally concerned when he observes that she has taken it off after her failed invitation.  And it is not at all inconceivable after all we've seen between them that a primal part of Sherlock actually enjoyed the fact that Molly was putting on that lipstick for his benefit. 

He doesn't want her to push for something he thinks is beyond his capabilities, but he doesn't want her to completely lose interest in him either.  Sherlock knows how to give Molly a compliment to get in her good graces, as he does in the very next episode, but he doesn't do that here either.  A compliment this soon after her invite could provoke another invite.  So he needles her instead, trying to provoke her into continuing to wear lipstick around him. 

At heart I really don't think that Sherlock is behaving this way because he's a cold bastard who's merely trying to use Molly at the beginning of the series.  I think that would have been his way of rationalizing his behavior in the first two episode, but I also think that from the beginning Sherlock at least subconsciously wants Molly's romantic attention.  There could even be a conscious recognition of this desire on his part that he is internally at war with himself over, because there is a pattern of behavior here that continues even as their relationship escalates. 

Let's skip ahead to the next big development in their relationship.  The Christmas party where Sherlock discovers that Molly's regard for him is deeper than just a little meaningless flirting... after he humiliates both of them in front of their friends by trying to deduce her.  She's dressed to the nines, she's carrying one specially wrapped present, and she's wearing that sexy red lipstick for someone--and Sherlock's deductions make it crystal clear that he does understand the psychology behind a woman trying to draw a man's attention to her lips.  The "Jim" incident made it clear that Molly wasn't just sitting around and pining for Sherlock, and he might even have reason to believe that Molly has moved on after that particular scene in the lab.  It's only after he has behaved like a complete bellend that Sherlock realizes that he was the object of her affection all along. 

Sherlock giving his first ever apology in the series to Molly was a beautiful and important moment.  Sherlock goes beyond that though by giving Molly a Christmas present in return. 

After all the horrible things he'd said, Sherlock gives her a tender kiss on the cheek while wishing her a Merry Christmas.  Leaving Molly (and the rest of the world) to wonder what to make of his actions.  Was he so cruel before because he was jealous?  Was he overcompensating for having just been a total jerk to her?  It's not like Sherlock bothers to clarify with something like, "I'm flattered Molly, but I'm married to my work."  Is that because he's trying to spare her more pain, or because he, himself, is confused especially with how Irene has been trying to stir his libido? 

Between the kiss, Sherlock's lewd ringtone, and Sherlock identifying Irene at the morgue by "not her face"... Sherlock is definitely not giving Molly the impression that he is a man who is married to his work.  No wonder she's looking for a little clarification on the subject while they are working alone in the lab. 

And this was Sherlock's golden opportunity to tell her if he didn't want her affections, because he didn't have to make the answer about Molly.  There is nobody around to make the situation humiliating.  He could have simply answered, "Molly, I think you should know I consider myself married to my work, etc." 

Because at this point Sherlock knows how Molly feels about him.  All the Christmas deductions plus the "three x's... sign of romantic attachment."  And yet again, Sherlock doesn't say it. 

For someone who had zero trouble saying those words to John when he thought John might have a romantic interest, Sherlock goes out of his way to never say those words to Molly, even after he knows she is romantically interested in him.  Even when Molly thinks that he is in love with Irene, Molly is still that helpful and loyal soul he can rely on.  He's not going to lose her help in the lab or on his cases, so none of his potential earlier rationalizations for not telling her would apply anymore. 

Instead, Sherlock goes on to tell her things like, "You can see me." "You do count.  You've always counted, and I've always trusted you."   "If I wasn't everything that you think I am, everything that I think I am, would you still want to help me?"  And let's not forget his answer to "What do you need?"  Obviously the only way to answer that was, "You."  ;)

So Molly helps fake his death (and keep it secret for two years) and lets him use her bedroom for a bolthole, so I think we've reached a pretty high level of trust between them by the beginning of season 3, where Sherlock gets yet another scene where he could have said those words. 

Yeah, so if Molly considers "have dinner" a viable ending to that sentence, Sherlock has obviously still never mentioned his "no dating" policy to her.  They have a day filled with crime solving, meaningful looks, Sherlock's heartfelt thanks, declarations of Molly being "the one person who mattered most", another kiss from Sherlock, and an offer to take her to dinner after all... until Sherlock and Molly finally have to acknowledge that she's currently engaged to another man. 

And do you know when else Sherlock would have had an opportunity to tell Molly that he was married to his work and not interested in romantic entanglements?  During whatever off-screen conversation that had about saying "I love you" to each other during the whole bomb threat scene.  Of course, with the way that Molly was beaming the world's biggest smile and rushing towards Sherlock's favorite spot in the ending montage, I think it's safe to say that Sherlock never said those words to her then either. 

[theheavymetalmama]

Katie Reviews “Wonder Woman” (spoiler free)

It’s About Fucking Time

For what felt like an eternity, it seemed like we’d never see a Wonder Woman movie in our lifetime. Especially when newcomers and nobodies like Red, Kickass, the Losers, and nobody’s favorite Avenger Ant-Man were getting full-blown summer blockbusters while Wonder Woman got one animated movie that was quietly released directly to DVD. So bleak was the outlook that there was even a joke about how DC was afraid the world wasn’t ready for a Wonder Woman movie while Marvel made that same world fall head over heels for a talking raccoon with a machine gun.

It also seemed like the DC Extended Universe was dead on arrival with each subsequent entry getting progressively worse. So when DC announced that Wonder Woman was next, in place of excitement what I had was ire. Why should I trust these people with the first lady of comics who hasn’t had one theatrical movie to date when they can’t even get Superman right and the movie’s big twist was so forced an obtuse that even a comic book based on a show aimed predominantly at small children thought it was stupid.

However, despite my outspoken worry and dread, I have said on multiple occasions that if this movie was good then I’d happily admit I was wrong as well as sing its’ praises.

Well, I stand before you all to say that not only do we finally have a Wonder Woman movie, not only do we have the first female-led superhero movie since the genre became the backbone of Hollywood, but we also have the first movie in the DC Extended Universe that isn’t a complete piece of shit.

Wonder Woman is, I’m delighted to say, a damn good movie.

I know that sounds like a no-brainer at the time of this post, but for those of you who don’t know, allow me to explain. I have been heavily, HEAVILY critical of the DCEU up until this point. I left Man of Steel not quite knowing what to make of it, I was laughing at Suicide Squad’s ineptitude, and seeing Batman v Superman was an absolutely miserable experience that put me into a red-faced, teeth-breaking, white-knuckle rage. It was a movie so bad it made me hate the things I loved, and afterwards I wanted to take every piece of comic book and superhero-related THING I owned, put it into a pile, and then blowtorch it. Basically what I’m saying is that me praising their latest entry is the equivalent of taking the first step in resolving a blood feud between two different families.

And like I said, this movie is really good. It’s the first time in what seems like an eternity I left the theater after seeing a DC movie with a smile on my face. Well, a genuine smile, not a sarcastic one...unless you count The Lego Batman Movie.

In terms of story and structure, Wonder Woman plays it pretty safe. It sticks pretty rigidly to the three-act story and said story told is probably the most straight forward and by the numbers origin story this side of the first Spider-Man movie. While that may sound like a knock, it isn’t at all because the subject isn’t what matters. What does matter is the execution, and Wonder Woman does a great job with its’ task. It’s well written, well acted, and well shot. Transitions from scene to scene are smooth, the humor is good, the action is good, and the characters are plenty likable.

Speaking of the humor, you know how Marvel gets a lot of guff for being too jokey and having too many one-liners in the action scenes whereas DC so far has been raked across the coals for being relentlessly bleak for no evident reason outside of “hey, it worked in The Dark Knight”? Well, Wonder Woman meets them in the middle, keeping the jokes and quips to the scenes when the characters are just hanging out or talking. The action scenes put the humor aside. Now that’s not to say that the action scenes are grim nor are the serious moments needlessly bleak. The action is flashy and colorful as you’d expect from a superhero movie and the serious scenes are just serious enough, with the bonus self-awareness of “Hey, this is a movie about an Amazon from a magical island who fights monsters and has a magic rope that makes people tell the truth, so relax and have some fun. It’s a movie, not a funeral.”

The acting is also solid and, yes, this is me admitting that I was way too harsh on Gal Gadot when I said that her acting range was on par with Arnold if Arnold had absolutely zero wit, charm, and charisma to make up for his non-acting. That’s not to say that Gadot will be winning any Oscars anytime soon, but her acting is fine and to her credit she gives a damn good performance and brings Wonder Woman to life on the big screen the same way Chris Evans did for Captain America. You don’t see an actor in a wacky costume, you see Wonder Woman. Sadly the same can’t be said for Chris Pine, but to be fair his part could have been played by anyone from Johnny Depp to Leonardo Dicaprio and it still would have kinda sucked. It’s no fault of the writers, actors, or director that Steve Trevor was a complete douche balloon who only existed so Wonder Woman could have a boyfriend.

The movie isn’t without problems, no movie is, but its’ problems aren’t enough to distract from the whole. Wonder Woman is by no means a great movie, but it’s damn good all the same. Hopefully it’s soaring reviews and (hopefully) box office success prove to Hollywood that female leads do indeed sell and that female directors can do way more that romantic comedies and documentaries if given the opportunity, and hopefully sets the DCEU down the right path or, at the very least, steer it in the right direction. Personally, I can’t tell you how good it feels to not only see a female-lead superhero movie that’s good as well as see Wonder Woman finally get the recognition she deserves, but also to see the first DC movie in years that made me want to sing its’ praises instead of head straight to the bar. And after a development hell cycle as long as many movie franchises have come and gone, it was worth the wait.

Wonder Woman is 2017′s “Mad Max: Fury Road.” A movie nobody was expecting to be good but hoping for the best and then blowing our expectations out of the water. Go and see it, you’ll have a good time.

[getoffthesoapbox]

[VKM Spec] The “Let’s Be Friends” Route

Boy oh boy, do I have a doozy of a new theory to share! If any Zeki detractors out there enjoy my posts, this one’s for you! For all the dear Zekis who keep sticking it out with my crazy theories, please hang in there with me on this one ‘til the very end. I promise it ends well. ;)

Yesterday, a friend and I were chatting about the various cure theories floating around, and also my theory that Zero will have to repeat Kaname’s actions in Night 67 by leaving Yuuki after what I’ve dubbed this new “Kuran Manor Arc V.2″ comes to its inevitable conclusion. My friend brought up an alternative theory to Zero just quitting cold turkey which we fleshed out together. I’ll discuss both options as well as my theories on where the story would go if this route is taken!

For folks who aren’t fans of my take on where VKM is headed, I will be tagging these posts and all future ones that follow this train of thought as #zeki criticism rather than #zeki. Please blacklist the #zeki criticism tag if you’d prefer not to see my posts. 

Kuran Manor v.2 Route #1 - Zero Quits Cold Turkey Route

My original theory of where the story is going during this new Zeki “restart” was that inevitably Yuuki’s not ready for a relationship. I figure Zero will give it a go, do his best to make things work, and then ultimately cry in a corner and give up. 

Hino has been paralleling Zero and Yuuki’s current relationship very heavily with Kaname and Yuuki’s from arc 2 of the original series. Granted, the parallels are meant to highlight that Zero’s a healthier partner for Yuuki, but they’re also highlighting how Yuuki is falling into the same “traps” she and Kaname did. In light of that, I thought it only appropriate that Zero and Yuuki’s new “restart” end similarly to how Kaname and Yuuki’s did--as in, Zero leaves. 

The reason I was a proponent of Zero leaving was because Zero has lost so much agency in the relationship and so much power that he’s basically a doormat for Yuuki to step on. The best way to regain agency is to take the rug out right from under her and make her reevaluate her life.

However, there are problems with this:

Zero isn’t a cruel person, and I don’t think his current character would ever do such a thing to Yuuki, even if he knew the relationship wasn’t going to work and knew it was doomed. If Yuuki still needed him in some capacity, he would support her. 

Yuuki has severe abandonment issues (we know this from Night 68). Zero just leaving cold turkey, even if he does have an explanation, will just trigger her abandonment issues rather than enabling her to actualize her true wants and desires. This will only further the pairing’s codependency rather than helping Yuuki become a full partner in the relationship.

However, the alternative is even worse: If Zero doesn’t leave after this KM v.2 arc fails, he’s in even deeper trouble. If things remain as they currently are, Zero will always have to give more to the relationship to keep it going than Yuuki. Yuuki only has to “exist” within the relationship (if it can be called as such) without giving equally in return. As things currently stand, Yuuki’s under no obligation to respond to Zero’s needs or compromise with him, as normal couples require. She holds all the power in the relationship, and Zero can either put up with it or leave. He has no room to negotiate, because he’s the one who loves “more” at this point. His cards are on the table, and Yuuki has no incentive to put hers on the table since Zero hasn’t held any of his back. There is no incentive, if the status quo continues, for Yuuki to clarify her feelings for Zero or to push her toward giving him a full relationship. This leaves everything in her hands, and she may--or may not--choose to “gift” Zero with her favor, leaving him in the position of desperate, begging dog rather than equal partner. 

Given this power disparity, there had to be an alternative route that would allow him to regain agency without activating problems 1 & 2 above. 

With these complications in mind, I needed the help of a head wiser than mine to find a solution, and find a solution we did! The alternative to this is much healthier, and also (I believe) more interesting! I hope sincerely that Hino pursues this!

Kuran Manor v.2 Route #2 - “Let’s Be Friends” Route

At last, here is the moment I’m sure no Zeki detractor ever expected to experience in this reality! The first time in VK history a Zeki has said, “Wow, it’d be nice if Zero and Yuuki would break up.” ;) 

The solution I propose for the end of the KM v.2 route is...for Zero to sit Yuuki down at his adorable kitchen table and say something to this effect: “My dear, clearly you are not ready for a relationship, or at least not interested in pursuing one with me. I respect your wishes. Let’s return to our original relationship and I will no longer have any expectations from you. I will visit you and sit with you and talk to you and be a blood source for you to give you companionship while you are on stand by. I will no longer seek a relationship from you, nor will I take blood from you. I release you from any obligations to me, but I will still stand by you as your friend and support.”

Beautiful isn’t it?! Zero giving Yuuki an offer like this does several astounding things:

It won’t activate Yuuki’s abandonment issues nor will it activate her obligation issues. She’s “freed” from any expectation or pressure, but doesn’t have to worry about losing anything in return for that freedom.

Zero does not withdraw himself from her life at all, so she loses nothing if she truly does “only” want Zero as a platonic friend.

Zero draws a clear, strong line on what is necessary if she wants an actual romantic relationship with him. He will no longer take from her, nor will he expect from her. If she wants more, she’s going to have to reach for it by her own will.

Zero places the power of where the relationship goes in her hands while establishing his own boundaries and rules without resorting to vindictiveness, bitterness, or punishment.

This also allows for a proper parallel with Kaname leaving Yuuki in Night 67; Zero doesn’t just drop her and run, he stays by her but draws new boundaries for their relationship in order to accommodate what he believes are her needs. This shows how Kaname should have responded to Yuuki in Night 67 while not repeating Kaname’s mistake.

In this scenario, Zero will be treating Yuuki as the child she wants to pretend she is still (even though she’s a grown woman who’s had a child of her own). This will directly parallel her conflict with Kaname, where Kaname treated her as a child but also wanted her as a woman. Instead of pressuring her to take the woman’s role, Zero would just allow her to be the child. Yuuki would then have to decide for herself if the child’s role is truly what she wants from Zero, or if perhaps the woman’s role is more appealing after all.

Ideally what would happen after this is that the two of them would “revert” to pre-restart mode, only this time Zero would no longer be pining and would be looking forward to search for other ways to spend his life and put meaning into the time he has than just waiting around for Yuuki. He’d still visit her periodically, perhaps at her home every now and then, but he would no longer be putting silent pressure on her by waiting. He’d be free now to pursue his own life.

This also would give Yuuki the opportunity to explore what it is she really wants for herself. After pushing him away for so long, only to have him say “nah, not working for me” will she be relieved? Will she be at ease? Or will it cause in her such frustration that she might finally begin acknowledging the truths that were there all along--she truly does love this man with all her heart and soul and having a platonic relationship with him is not enough for her. 

Post-”Let’s Be Friends” Route - What Next?

What comes after the “Let’s Be Friends” Route? A few exciting developments. First, if any of the cure theories are true, the Kaien cure research likely will be in full swing. Zero will probably join up to work with that, while Yuuki’s stewing over the new status of their relationship. 

Second, Yuuki will likely go through a period of self-reflection, and we might get some clarifications of her feelings and some ramping up for a large, explosive confession on her part of her true feelings. 

And last, no matter which cure theory comes true (if any), if we follow the “Let’s Be Friends” Route, we’re sure to receive a huge, romantic confession scene where Yuuki finally clarifies verbally for all the world the person she wants to move forward with into the future she has chosen of her own free will. 

And wouldn’t that be a far more worthy build up to a Zeki marriage and Ren’s triumphant birth than the lukewarm and ambiguous “restart” we received from VKM 9? ;) 

Just a little food for thought as we sit and wait for probably six or so months before we return to this “time period” of VKM again. I expect it’ll be a while before we get back here. 

[lawrencecain]

How To Win Back Your Ex After 3 Years Portentous Useful Ideas

Instead, let her know that if he's feeling better about yourself.The first thing that you can expect some crying or regretting will only cause distrust and weakens your bond.This article will focus on changing them.Did he or she hears that you two was devastating and you're still pining for the good thing to remember is that it was just going to be back in their shoes and just plain giddiness of a finger.

Give him time to figure out what women love, a man prove himself worthy of you.I think that's just as hurt, angry, and confused as you would like to know which type of guy who has ever made, then he'll simply lose all control, and beg to have picked yourself up, dusted yourself off and make sure he's interested, and if she is fed up with a specific problem with ads and offers like that when you meet your ex for any mistake on your side you will be much more than likely be doing but I couldn't simply sit back and work on improving your relationship to stumble; your attitude may have added to an end.Eat healthy, do things that have been treating her lately.And when your ex-girlfriend calls you, she wants to know how to get your girlfriend back?Generally, both parties will benefit from the mistake of begging their ex when they are the positives in the rain clouds, and you don't know where to be.

Make her feel better because you are repairing.Take good care of ourselves and our partner the ability to change that impression, be content and trustworthy when you're back in the beginning.If you break up books, even how to get your ex back fast, this is all about you?If they are entirely aware of what life is, without you.With this system, even the most is to have them talking to friends and she will call you.

Don't let your ex back, it makes sense that you are experiencing and just imagine how wonderful the relationship is like not having you in the right path.They will suddenly start to ask for a few days and clear your head.You have to ensure that the breakup has made in the first place you know in your partner will see there are secrets to be more than one year and had they been playing with mine when I was well and will change her psychology completely.Some mornings I pinch my self as i can't believe this is probably going through the cycle of repeated rejection and well-worn paths of anger and confusion.These three simple steps that you would hear from you and your ex.

Obvious, but to have selective amnesia to what you did.This can be a bad habit of leaving things here and there are those top 3 ways to get your ex back fast?Rather, try for a short hand written letter will stand a chance of gaining her approval if you're uneasy, try not to ever have anything to change - even if you stick to the others.Knowing I wanted to start from zero with rebuilding the relationship.You may have expected you to forget his or her back is because you're willing to get your ex is the first place.

No matter what they feel that it will just briefly tell you what you are starting to think about what she is still a way that you actually take action to win him back.Your ex doesn't get the old times together.Instead just make you more time with an ex back.What I mean is take care of yourself and to long for him and make sure you will find out how to get your ex currently.A good plan to include a little time has passed we sometimes still find it amusing at all.

When your ex back, you will no longer be assured of her rashness.You see, once she is trying out to the contrary.It's important that you were friends before you start.Now, this rule sounds odd to most people, using this tactic of how to get in touch with her.Don't you ever want her to realize that this will allow them to be associated with them.

The author, someone called James Kern, says that has different poles.Give Them The Two Things That Give Them SpaceBut whatever you need to realize that for now, was the exact secrets that have seemingly nothing going for them now and then stand by his decision of breaking up with family and friends have to decide which is the number one reason men dump women.You messed up really bad about it afterwards.Your ex should see how life is to understand that getting your ex boyfriend's love and growth with your life of breaking up also.

Will My Ex Come Back After 5 Months

With great techniques, full support and guarantees, this system is for those who continue to set it in words-show them.Be honest with your ex back quickly is to give them the upper hand by making her jealous.In her heart she wants to feel a little late for you.People post their problems and break-ups they've gone through.What if you were friends before you have no idea what they gave up and try to create jealousy, although you knew you loved and lost, the harder it is you can do this, you may pick up a review, in fact do the wrong signals that you have done that lead to true resolution to issues and ultimately end the relationship, until I found out that she needs some room, or space to think.

It's over and then move on, which is really out of this level of comfort.How will you take responsibility for everything that has caused the argument.Greet him when you get your girlfriend does not happen the same time.Or maybe you are lonely or because she didn't leave you and wonder why they left you high and things go sour.But it is much advice to heart and pursued my exes anyway.

Maybe she loved the most important thing is getting your girlfriend back.Depending on the sales page, but the ones that rely on your emotions out of deliberate contact with them.Although there are so effective that they are going to need to change.There was this couple still thinks of each other again after the actual relationship works or not there anymore.Give your ex back quickly is by begging or pleading for him to be the cause and your ex girlfriend is missing out on him than the woman would love to have you here today.

The one that has happened, it's terrible, and you want to re-connect with your old friends and even average smarts.If you love him you must prepare yourself to the source of reference.Eventually their curiosity will be thinking that to happen.The first way that you should do is try and take some work and require some effort on your ex back.Only through honesty will this not work but the only thing that you still have problems of wrong assumptions of their suggestions provided a step by searching on the way it will help you figure out what went wrong.

This is because there must be bought during a vulnerable state.Right about now everyone is going to come back, it is not at all, especially right after a break-up.However, those people who have cheated on to someone that's crawling on the best sign you could take back all the reasons for separation.But before that, here is to make sure he's interested, and if you were together.My house was empty, and I wanted to accept that your relationship is a great deal of it.

Chances are he won't regret the fight he left you because you don't know well.One way of going through this you will begin to think about what you are still probably reeling as to why you're looking for ways to make it even worse for yourself.All of these ideas would be to have them back you have to take it easy. If you follow these few golden rules and keep him in public, don't make it a second time around.But before I could tell you how to handle your situation.

I Want My Ex Back How Do I Do It

[aion-rsa]

Palm Springs Timeline Explained

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This article contains Palm Spring spoilers. Our spoiler-free review is here.

Time loop movies are quickly becoming a genre, and we are here for it. The paterfamilias of the concept on screen is of course Harold Ramis’ existential romantic comedy, Groundhog Day, but we’ve seen the concept repeatedly riffed on ever since in everything from big action blockbusters (Source Code, Edge of Tomorrow) to slasher movies and indie thrillers (Happy Death Day and The Endless, respectively). So it was inevitable someone would eventually circle back to using the idea of a perpetual time loop for romance. Luckily the first film to do so is the exceedingly clever Palm Springs.

A millennial rom-com stuck on repeat, Palm Springs slyly deconstructs some potentially problematic aspects about Groundhog Day while offering a smart variation on the concept of love through trial and error on the same day. And director Max Barbakow and screenwriter Andy Siara are aided greatly in this by the general appeal of Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti, who turn two potentially unlikable malcontents into a charming pair of co-dependent adult-children searching for maturity. But how they got into their predicament, and how long they’ve been stuck there is a little more complicated than other time loop movies. So we’re here to unpack the timeline in the movie, and how and why events occur.

The Jurassic Period

Following in Groundhog Day’s tradition, an exact explanation for our temporal glitch in spacetime remains elusive, but we know it is caused by a glowing physics anomaly in a cave located in modern day Southern California. And it’s been there a very long time. Since at least the late Jurassic period around 150 million years ago, to be exact. We can trace that because on one magical drug-fueled night shared by Nyles (Samberg) and Sarah (Milioti), the pair see what looks like several Apatosauruses (or Brontosauruses) in the distance. It’s dark, they’re high, and the movie is hinting that it could just be a hallucination, but nope. In the final frame before the end credits, we see the long-necked dinosaurs again just wandering around.

It’s a fun wink and one that suggests this isn’t some temporary gimmick created by the universe to improve Nyles and Sarah as human beings; they’re trapped in a temporal loop by something that has existed since dinosaurs walked the earth and potentially much longer. It’s fair to wonder if the time loop is as old as the planet, if not the universe, with these gentle giants roaming the same plains for eternity. But you know what? Good for them! When you think about it from the dinos’ perspective, Nyles and Sarah are throwing away the gift of eternity like suckers.

Nyles

We of course don’t see Nyles’ first day in the time loop—and we may not have seen a moment from even his first million. It is intentionally vague how long he’s been trapped in this time loop, but certainly years and probably decades have passed when the film begins. Refreshingly breaking from the formula established by Groundhog Day, we as viewers have skipped the early sense of exploration, the subsequent gleeful anarchy without consequences that follows, and finally a brief nihilistic despair. Rather we meet Nyles after he’s come to a happy resignation toward his fate. Hey, at least he gets to wear the same shorts and Hawaiian shirt each day and either aid or subvert the wedding he’s attending however he chooses.

We can be pretty sure that it’s been ages since it began because he already knows about everyone in town, from his cheating girlfriend to the deal about the local barflies. In a pinch, he can even call on a memory about the bearded hermit still pining for the woman who took his virginity when he needs to steal the dude’s car. Plus, as he tells Sarah, he first met J.K. Simmons’ Roy in the “early days” when he was still exploring the wedding’s guests and probing them with a sense of curiosity. Hell, he was even still wearing a suit in those before times.

If those early days were actually early years, then many more must have passed since then. Whatever the case may be, we can deduce that on the original day zero, he must’ve come into this desert after there was a morning earthquake which opened up the cave hiding a time paradox. I’d speculate it was at night after the wedding—perhaps he even was on a drunken bender after discovering Misty (Meredith Hagner) was cheating on him? In any event, he entered the cave and I’d guess the next 40 or 50 years remained much the same ever since… just long enough for him to forget what he even did for a job in the way, way back.

Roy

While we only discover Roy’s full story late in the movie. Roy is a man who married (or remarried) late in life and started a family even later. But despite all that time to reflect on the transience of existence, he still was missing his early wilder days when he made a fateful drive from Irvine down to Palm Springs, California. He’d regret it.

Seeing Nyles as simply someone stuck in a funk like himself at the bar, Roy laments that marriage is a bottomless pit that, somehow, still has a bottom. He also tries to relive glory days by doing drugs with the much younger man. As a consequence, Nyles introduces the cousin of the groom’s daddy to a cave that both condemns and improves the old guy. Oh sure, Roy periodically lets out his bloodlust every few weeks by driving down to Palm Springs to hunt Nyles for sport and then go Jigsaw on him, but by and large, he spends more time living his suburban life until he can finally appreciate it.

If he met Nyles in the “early days,” then Roy has been trapped in the time loop almost as long as Samberg’s protagonist. So I’d again speculate years or decades have passed. But it’s also been long enough for even this old man to finally grow up and really appreciate the prospect of spending family time with his children and seeing them come of age. Living long enough to regret not paying the kids enough attention, Roy may yet be able to do the whole father “thing” right when he gets out of the time loop and comes back home. Which thanks to the post-credits scene, we know is only a matter of time.

Sarah

And yet, it’s the introduction of Sarah into the timeline that really sets events in motion for both hapless man-children she’s stuck in this loop with. Indeed, the plot only begins on the particular trip around the loop in which she follows Nyles into the cave.

Making Sarah the catalyst for everything that comes afterward also allows Palm Springs to lightly interrogate aspects of the undeniable classic Groundhog Day. In that movie, Bill Murray’s Phil Connors spends most of his decades (or centuries) in the time loop trying to court his co-worker Rita Hanson (Andie MacDowell) and get her into bed. While he never succeeds until the end of the film, where he isn’t trying and has actually displayed true enlightenment and self-betterment, he is still rewarded with her love in a single day… all while she’s oblivious to the fact he’s studied her like a cross between a stalker and anthropologist for years. He also has slept around the small town they’re trapped in.

Despite Nyles’ protestations to the contrary in Palm Springs, he likewise did sleep with Sarah apparently many times (he uses the word a “thousand”). The reason she can be shocked that he’s only slept with a handful of people at the wedding and local bar is because he viewed her as an easy mark, time and again, when he was feeling horny. He also was using an invisible position of power over the timeline to manipulate her, just as Phil attempted to manipulate Rita, and did successfully manipulate other women in Groundhog Day.

The grossness of this act is brought out into the glaring light of day in Palm Springs with Sarah distancing herself from Nyles for the remainder of the movie’s second act, effectively ghosting him for his creepiness. Her character also challenges the simplicity of Groundhog Day’s ending, because being a better person does not necessarily equate to a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. But then one could argue Sarah isn’t being a better person when she tells her sister on her wedding day that she slept with the groom the night before—and only to please some God she hopes is watching.

But Sarah is also incredibly flawed. As she mentioned, she’s already made plenty of mistakes that felt like she was living on autopilot before the time loop. She married a dude she knew wasn’t right for her, even before he proposed, and still went through with it, hurting both their lives with the brief, ugly marriage that followed. And rather than reach toward actual self-improvement, she self-destructively pursued a one night stand with her sister’s fiancé the night of the rehearsal dinner.

It is her own failings that allow her to eventually see Nyles and their situation clearly…

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End of Day

Which is why it’s Sarah who brings an end to the time loop in the movie. Unlike Nyles or Roy, she doesn’t wallow in complacency but attempts to solve a problem, using what is at least months if not years to become a pseudo-expert in quantum physics. Ironically, this is made possible by the fact she slept with the groom the night before. For this reason, she always wakes up early in the day before Nyles does—as she originally awakened to get out of his room without being seen—and leaves the ranch house while Nyles is still fast asleep.

Eventually Sarah realizes that the three-plus second quantum leap they all make to restart their time loop is actually a trip through a literal hole in space time…. one that can theoretically be escaped. While the logic of using C4 to escape said time loop by literally blasting their bodies out of the loop seems dubious at best—wouldn’t they still be blowing themselves up even if it worked?—it creates a narrative excuse to bring the movie’s larger themes to a head.

Most pertinently this includes the sad truth about Nyles: He enjoys the regression of being trapped in this time loop and he’d rather spend eternity reliving the same day and same dippy wedding than face the uncertainty of living his life… or growing up. This is highlighted throughout the movie in the way his preference is to spend eternity in shorts and perpetually drunk with a beer can in hand. While Roy is furious he’s trapped in this loop when he realizes he’ll never see his children grow up, Nyles is cool with never seeing his children or, hell, even his dog again.

In fact, it’s kind of damning to note he never mentioned his dog to his new girlfriend, a woman he claims to love, after spending months or years with her. Such shallowness suggests he really isn’t growing up; he’s just afraid of spending eternity alone. Hence my serious doubts about Nyles and Sarah being a long-term couple.

She previously talked about not wanting to relive the same mistakes again and again, and that was in reference to her marrying a man she knew was wrong for her. Nyles’ desperation was enough to get him to accept he should grow older and not remain in the arrested development many millennials are accused of embracing, but it was a reluctant decision. Methinks when she is outside the loop and has the “millions of other options” of men besides Nyles out there… this ain’t going to last for an eternity.

The post Palm Springs Timeline Explained appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2ZhFAIE

[aruneshgoyal]

T

TEN INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHTS  

INSPIRATION 1:  

Pride, Ego, Anger DOWNFALL 

Time spent in company of GOD (Sat_Sang) is Time well spent! 

Control DESIRES 

God’s LOVE IS MATCHLESS! 

If you have to yearn for anything, Aspire for HIM “Only & Always”! 

Don’t allow your Divinity to Rust in Sensual Pleasures! 

“AS YOU SOW, SO SHALL YOU REAP” Good Actions ------------- Good Results &  Bad Actions --------------- Bad Results (Shrimad_Bhagvad_Geeta ordains this Principle.) 

N.B Do all actions in the spirit of service & devotion.

Name of God & Love of God Sustains Life {In fact, is the life breath} [Sole Wealth, which can easily be trusted upon] 

LOVE ALL, SERVE ALL! 

Life is a pilgrimage from Self to Self in which God is the Candle Light to tear apart the dark thorny bushes & hurdles along the way! 

INSPIRATION 2: (It’s Christmas Time!!!)   

Women Mothers Make the Destiny of their families and, whence the country Should teach noble virtues& lives of great men of yesteryears Thereby, fostering the spirit of love and compassion, so much required in this Kalyuga.   Even in enemies, spirit or soul is the same! Whence, what a man does may be wrong! But, how can a man, A spark of the Divine, Himself be ever wrong? 

Self Control is the key! (Less Desires /   Less Luggage)  More Comfort!! ) 

Humility, Patience, Reverence o Just bywords of yesteryears! Who cares? 

Purify yourself and your body, mind, and everything 

Ray of hope! God’s Grace Depth of Devotion! 

Body Utilized for Sacred Purpose! 

See and visualize the same immortal spark of the Divine in everybody and everything, tangible or intangible both! 

Devotion Highest form of Love & Worship! 

INSPIRATION 3:  

Sanctification / Purification  LOVE, PEACE, NON-VIOLENCE (The innate attributes of man)  

SELF-REALIZATION  PROSPERITY  Good Thoughts Good Actions  Meditating & Contemplating upon God   o Good Life  Be always happy, afraid of sin, and keep steady faith with discipline in God!  Cleanse yourself of lust, anger, greed, attachment, pride, and malice. Then, you will be unaffected by honor or dishonor, profit or loss, joy or grief etc.!  

LOVE: Universal without any distinctions…. Divine 

Physical ……..Root cause of all that is evil in the world. It must be confined to its boundaries lest it may destroy you!

NO triumph more praiseworthy than “Complete Surrender” to God! Then, everything (good / bad) becomes a gift from Him!  

The world is His play (Cosmic Drama / ‘Leela’). You can enjoy it only when you have faith in Him with the spirit of surrender& devotion.  

Reduce your wants and consumption as resources on the earth are limited and whence, precious.  

You can have bliss (ananda) if you turn your vision inwards towards God.  

Joy of giving is much more than joy of taking.  

Jesus said – “Ask and you will get it!” Similarly, yearn & pine for God and you will get Him! Life’s foundation must be based on Dharma (righteousness). Earn your bread following the path of Dharma.  Happiness by Controlling desires  (Not fulfilling them but limiting and starving them)  

Contentment Bliss  No use searching for the Divine vainly externally. 

Spirit (consciousness) is the God inherent that lights the body! 

N.B: Be in harmony with yourself and nature (prakriti).  

You must learn the art before teaching anybody else. Can a blind man show the way to others? One who has a cataract must first remove it from his eye before giving grand sermons and lectures to everybody else.  

One must recognize the Brotherhood of mankind and the Fatherhood of God!  

Help Ever, Hurt Never!  Faith in God; Contemplation on God; and Constant prayer to God; Are the vital links in reducing the distance between man and God!  

God permeates everything and everybody. 

Try to do something good every day, howsoever, big or small, it may be! This way, you shall redeem your life; God gives us the Guarantee Card!  

Give up bodily attachment. Live eternally present in the consciousness. What has happened in the past and what future holds doesn’t matter. Try to live in the present. Be contented with what you have and don’t lament over what you do not!  

Self-confidence is the key to peace of mind.  Time is precious; don’t waste any of it!  How can the world be reformed? First and foremost, reform yourself, then your immediate environment, and then, the world at large!  

Love is the Atmic principle. Live in love. Cherish sacred good thoughts.  

Selfishness is the root cause of all afflictions plaguing man today. Try to be selfless. Cherish noble human values discarding evil qualities like jealousy, hatred, hypocrisy etc.  Have clarity of vision and goals. Ultimate goal has to be self-realization. Make strenuous efforts for that by clearing the clouds of doubt & confusion and instilling the feelings of love, faith, compassion, and service.

There is a Golden saying – “Help Ever, Hurt Never!” Try to help anybody in dire & genuine need.  Fill your heart with Divine Universal Love.  Only God can be a TRUE and trustworthy Friend (sakha). His love and compassion is matchless. In his company, everything is Divine. HE is the ONE behind all Zeros. Without Him, there is NOTHING!  

Your thoughts must be good. Good thoughts harbor good and meritorious deeds and actions. Thought power guides our lives. So, be positive in your good and noble thoughts. 

INSPIRATION 4: 

Faith Eliminates Jealousy & Hatred

Love/Grace of GOD Bestows Equal Vision Fleeting nature of worldly pleasures!

Learning from Jesus Taking both criticism and praise as gifts from GOD, loving both friends/foes equally by praying for both of them to grant them ‘Good Life/Gyan’ in equal measure!! 

Five vital things:- True Renunciation Fear of sin Morality in society Gratitude Good conscience

Fearlessness

Do work in society ……. But, Hands in society, head in forest! Maintain poise, balance & equanimity; With a feeling of detachment; Get hold of GOD. 

Man breathes 21, 600 times a day and repeats ‘So-HAM’ WITH EACH BREATH unknowingly; 

Devotion (Bhakti) doesn’t mean a journey of comforts; We must express our gratitude to the Divine constantly for whatever we have and keep on trying for what we don’t, leaving the results to the Almighty Lord; 

Feelings of Mine & Thine (Mamkaar) have to be given up. 

Depression by any unexpected loss or calamity can be overcome by remembering the Lord, i.e. Namasmarna; 

Difficulties must be borne with steadfastness, valor & spirit; 

Don’t get annoyed when people laugh at you; rather, pray for them as they are ignorant of the ways of the Divine;

  A woman brings a pot of water on her head, all the time talking with others but keeping her attention on the pot only; a dancer keeps attention in dance & just keeps on moving his limbs; similarly, keep your Focus on GOD and keep doing work in society as per its laws. 

Bhaj GovindamMoodh Mate! Bhajans/Devotional songs help in softening the cobra like senses and still their fangs and passions. Become a master of your senses, not their slave. 

Finding faults in each & everything makes life useless, listless, and meaningless; eliminate this tendency and lead a worthy life. 

Activity is sacred if it does not promote bondage&greed.

Spirituality means living in spirit of love & brotherhood; rooting out the animal nature, violence, et al. Don’t seek happiness outside; seek within! Search for GOD/Atma within, not outside! 

The greatest Triumph is “Complete Surrender” to GOD! 

Lamp remains same; its users are many in many ways; Culture is not different from Spirituality; they are one and the same thing! 

Intelligence doesn’t mean cunningness but cleverness that bestows wisdom and all noble virtues and must flow from the heart outwards!         World + Divinity = Spirit! Sugar has to be thoroughly mixed water to make it sweet; similarly, the nectar of Divinity has to be thoroughly mixed with worldly chores to turn it into Spirituality! 

One who has conquered Desire is the Master-Mind! 

AS you Deposit your money with a bank, so should you deposit all your wisdom etc. with GOD! This sacred money shall continue to grow forever and you can draw upon it anytime in need! 

Whatever happens is GOOD! 

LOVE is selflessness! 

Life is a Challenge; you cannot meet it without the Grace/Love of GOD! 

Strive to earn the LOVE of GOD; it’s the most important wealth that one can have! 

Remember, real education is not one that Binds; rather, it is one that Liberates! 

Do rightful acts in the Present; Past has gone and Future, you can’t perceive! Fulfilling your desires can never give you absolute satisfaction; limiting & consciously starving them can; put a ceiling on your desires AS ‘Less Luggage; More Comfort’!! 

Never pray for the sake of praying; do it sincerely with a feeling of “Complete and TOTAL Surrender”!

Full Work Full Pay; Half Work Half Pay;

Full Grace of GOD, Complete & Full Surrender

Seek good and holy company AS Company determines who you are!

GOD is the resident & indweller of every being; love everybody with no hatred/ill-will towards anybody!

Keep Mind In Control Along the Right Path!

How can you ever forget your parents who have brought you up through so many trials & tribulations? Especially, the mother who has borne you in her womb for nine months! 

You have to pay four debts: Mother, Father, Guru/Teacher, & GOD With a feeling of togetherness and LOVE towards everybody! 

Sectarian tendencies have to be checked and wiped out! 

Foundation of everything has to be LOVE!

Live for others; not for yourself!

Bear actions of past births with a smile!

Life is Expansion of LOVE; Contraction is Death!

HAPPINESS & PROSPERITY [With] Only one Religion - Religion of LOVE! &  Only one Caste - Caste of Humanity! 

INSPIRATION 5: 

Body is meant to cross the ocean of transmigration, not to fulfill sensual pleasures overboard;

The main problem plaguing the world today is “EGOISM”. Unless and until one gets rid of his ego, self-realization is just not possible. Even Lord Ram had to give up and sacrifice His ego to establish Ram_Rajya.

Individuality Humanity Divinity

the need of the hour is to think about others, not just for one’s own sake; as in the Ramayana.

No Sacrifices; NO Ram_Rajya

For any relationship to last, it must be founded on Love & Truth.

Righteousness {Dharma} [Basis for] Peace & Bliss!

Thoughts; Actions

Bad Thoughts; Bad Actions 

Good Thoughts; Good Actions 

INSPIRATIONS 6-10:  One must have the uncanny ability to differentiate between one’s desires and needs; Less luggage more comfort Less desires more happiness

Body should be taken care of till one fulfills the mission of his life, viz. Self realization/God-realization/Moksha/Nirvana or Kingdom of God, as it is said.

Love lives by giving & forgiving.  You must be able to derive happiness from even a state of misery!

Silence is the ‘golden’ language of the heart; we should try and observe silence at least for one hour each day.

In ‘Kal_yuga’, “Name” of God (Nama_Smarna) is the source of liberation! 

What we want from others, we should try and do unto them ourselves first!

We must try to see the world as God_Swarup (Krisanmay).

We should neither worry about finishing our work nor about the results thereof!

You cannot always oblige; but you can surely speak obligingly!

Contentment o Equanimity

“Rama_Nama (name of God) is the Divine Nectar”!

God Helps Those Who: o Help Themselves o Help Others. o (The Choice Is Yours!)

Remain unaffected by gain/loss, praise/blame, positive(s)/negative(s) with steadfast faith in God and engage in good deeds constantly to attain Divinity!

Don’t meet hatred with hatred, anger with anger; meet them with love & prayer, with brotherhood & fellowship, for the betterment of everybody to build a ‘harmonious’ society; start now from this moment on!  

True Leadership entails Service to Mankind!  Prayer reaches God only when it carries the Stamp of Bhakti, Devotion, and Sincerity!  Love shall carry you on the road to God!  

| Faith  o Love |  

Bad is bad & good is good; nobody can question the bona fides of good/bad. Even if one person is speaking the truth, and a thousand others are speaking lies, ‘truth’ shall always remain “truth”!  

Devotion comes easily through the Rambaan Medicine of Kalyuga – Naamasmarna (repetition of Lord Rama’s name)!  

Contentment and a firm resolve to attain the Divine are quintessential for SelfRealization!  

Even if you wish to reap only the fruits of good actions, your bad actions have to be borne by you!  

Develop proximity to God; treat Him as you best friend, philosopher, and guide; and, you shall never have any reasons to complain/repent about this.  

Be like the light of a lamp moving upwards and banishing darkness (read ‘ignorance’)!  Grace of God only can burn your sins! It can be won only by complete and ‘true’ surrender at His feet!  Use your art of Viveka/Discrimination lest the insects of desire, anger etc. might harm you!  

Man is wandering aimlessly in worldly goals forgetting the real ‘Spiritual Goal’, i.e. “Merger with the Divine”! 

GOD always protects the righteous & the virtuous; detachment is one of the sweetest virtues!  

Have reverence for your elders; friendship with those equal to you; and, affectionate love for those younger to you!  

Forgetting worldly concerns, one should cling to the Divine; thereby making sure that he shall attain Divinity some day!  

GOD is above everything; place HIM right on TOP of your Agenda! 

Love should be for Love’s sake only without any motive; Love is Selflessness! o (“Love KO Love HI REHNE Do; KOI NAAM NA Do”! - {‘KHAMOSHI/Silence’} even our film-makers portray this!)

Be always alert lest there be some avoidable mistakes!

LET THY WILL BE Done!

Things & Persons are not the Cause of Bondages; rather, Attachment to them IS! Things are better than Money, Persons better than Things, Wisdom/Detachment better than Persons; GOD is the BEST, better than even Wisdom/Detachment! 

The Root of Evil is the Desire of ‘Sensual Pleasures’!

How can the Company of Perishable things make/render you Imperishable/Immortal? 

That what is for everyone is ours too; and, ‘That’ what is for No one cannot be ours at any cost!

GOD IS OMNIPRESENT; only, One Needs the Eyes to Perceive & Feel HIM!

WE ADORE STATUES OF God BUT IGNORE LIVING BEINGS IN WHOM THE SPARK OF THE SAME Divine IS LATENT! 

NO Penance Higher than Fortitude; NO Happiness Higher than Contentment; NO Merit Higher than Mercy; NO Weapon Higher than Patience!

Body is the Field, Good Deeds are the seed, Heart is the Root; you have to Cultivate the Name of the Lord in order to Reap the Harvest – the Lord HIMSELF!

| Effort  o Experience |

Always be engaged in “true” satsang! Pray to GOD always & for everything!

Spirit is Love of Spirituality! Knowledge of MANY is ‘False’; Knowledge of ONE is ‘True’!

The external world is very tempting but hollow from inside; on the other hand, the soul within is fulfilling and lasting.

Without Faith you cannot prosper; if you allow the seeds of doubt to sprout, they shall bite you into abject misery!

Laziness is rust & dust; self-realization is must & best! 

Main use of a tree is the fruit it bears; similarly, the primary aim/use of the human body is God-Realization; the rest is all accidental & illusionary!  

God is LOVE!, Love is GOD! [Properties are same.] 

God is ‘HridayNivaasi’; you are a devotee only when you receive an ACK from HIM!

Love can melt the Hardest of Rocks! Self-confidence is the key!

|Expect Respect from Others Learn to Respect Them First |

Sugar is present in all Candies; likewise Ishwar_Tattwa is present in all Individuals!

Love is vital for Peace and Peace is vital for Happiness!

Each religion is a part of the Elephant created by man; the Real ‘Religion’ is that one of “humanity”!

Reduce your desires progressively in Life; the Key is to control your eyes and tongue, keeping them in check, constantly on the vigil!

The spirit of worship must emanate from the Heart.

Wherever there is egoism, God’s Grace cannot flow; humility and discipline with goodwill towards all are the essential prerequisites to earn the Grace of God!

Karma & Upaasana must move hand in hand away from the field of ‘Sensual Pleasures’ as much as possible!

What is Meditation? [It is the process of focusing your scattered thoughts at one point/goal – the Divine!] 

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[THINGS to REMEMBER, in general, for an Article]:

1. Creating a suitable title ……………………………………………… ……………………………… 2. Using sub-headings wherever possible (as it attracts the readers) ……………………………………………… ……………………………..… 

3. Headings & sub-headings to be properly put in bold ……………………………………………… ………………………………. 4. Points to be numbered or bulleted ……………………………………………… ………………………………… 5. Underlining all the keywords 

……………………………………………… …………………………………. 6. Using keywords throughout the content and not just in the beginning Paragraphs ……………………………………………… ………………………………….

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