#this is what u get when i really enjoyed smth so satisfying... i actually talk lmao

[sungbeam]

here to flood your inbox with the questions✨

BUT HI DUCKIE MEIMEI 💗

3, 4, 9, 15, 18, 19, 21, 23, (IM SO SORRY FOR STEALING SO MANY NUMBERS BUT THESE QUESTIONS ARE SO GOOD), 28, 29, and 34

signing off with love

- ash

ash jie !!!! tysm for ur ask ^_^ and omg ty for the influx of numbers hehe <3

fanfic writer asks

3. What's been your most popular fic this year?

oh it was definitely my beomgyu drabble mine !! it was the fic that got me a ton of my followers and it's my first post to reach 1k and 2k+ notes which was super exciting :')

4. What piece of writing are you most proud of?

find my answer to #4 here!

9. What's a scene you wrote this year that you're particularly proud of?

hmm kind of a hard question cuz sometimes i think i'm a genius and other times i think a scene just doesn't work 😭😭 but ,,, i'll say i remember being super satisfied w lost at sea the pilot episode/chapter for my *cough* unfinished riptide!mark lee series ha,, haha

15. Are there are other writers or artists who have inspired you?

OH MY GOD SO MANY (´Д⊂ヽ i'm just gonna name drop :') @ethereal-engene ofc, @loveliestfelix @korijime @jaehunnyy @leejungchans @goldenhypen @/maijunejuly @petrichor-han @tranquilpetrichor @justalildumpling @polarisjisung @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l probs many more as well ksfbkenf but thank u all for being such amazing people who light up my dms and dashboard and make me want to keep writing and dreaming :')

18. Do you have a fic that you wish received more attention?

lmao a few tbh so i'll recommend a few 😁

— cruel summer (kim seungmin)

— the cage (yoon jeonghan)

— in all your endeavors, forever (kim hongjoong)

— 11:22am (jung sungchan)

19. What was your favorite comment, or piece of feedback this year?

definitely has to be ash jie's full review of in all your endeavors forever like having a whole post dedicated to a very through review of MY OWN fic just,,, omg it just made my day fr like woah mind-blown yk? so thank u sm jie :'( 💖

but in general, any feedback or comment just makes me so warm and fuzzy and excited !! once, someone told me they came back from the dead to remind people that i was one of the best writers here and tbh i could cry 😭😭😭 ??

21. Not a question, but a challenge! Say something nice about your writing!

*panics* UHM!! i,,, like that i've been improving in the description department? idk bro (´Д⊂ヽ like i'm trying to be more patient with my descriptions and i def have some work to do w solving my white room syndrome, but i think i'm getting better w touchy feely emotional things lol

23. What fic did you enjoy writing the most?

i actually really enjoyed writing the fics with crack/humor in them a lot! i write a lot of angst and i do enjoy writing that too, but i also love writing banter sm

will specifically mention this jungwon fic and this nct dream fic tho

28. What is your favorite story or chapter title you came up with this year?

OOH !!! uhhhhh i really like "cruel mercy" (wip), "bird hunt" (wip), and "dear chan, have you ever been in love before?"

29. What was the funniest comment or piece of feedback that you received?

AHAHHAHA when i posted the one beomgyu drabble for my october mini series, almost all the reblogs were talking abt how tf were those cheesy pickup lines attractive 💀🤡 tbh only beomgyu could make corny ass pick up lines attractive but yuh ✨ also whenever em rbs my stuff, she's so funny sjfnejfbj like i once posted a fic at 2am and she rb'd w smth like wait y aren't u asleep beam (ignoring the fact that she was also not asleep 💀)

34. What's the weirdest thing you researched for a fic?

LMAOO i don't think i remember half the things i google while in the moment tbh 🤣 but i vividly remember going down the rabbit hole of cheerleader positions and stunts for this one wip bc idk what any of that cheer stuff is called (´Д⊂ヽ and i think soon i'm gonna need to spiral down the dance rabbit hole too @_@ like figuring out waltzes and tangos and what that one dance intak did for isac :')

[ringsidedishes]

ok calming down from that high a little:

YES i am so into hiromu challenging sanada, i love hiromu's ambitions of wanting to have both belts

(i was reminded with that meta on sanada that right before covid hit hiromu and naito were to have a singles match and tbh I STILL WANT THAT)

i was also very into robbie dismantling hiromu like he did, and hiromu having to squeeze out that win (tho, my god, it wouldve been just as good of a match if robbie had won after that prolonged submission hold, i was waiting for hiromu to tap)

aussie open vs bishamon had me on the edge of my seat and kyle's bloodied head and his tears got me tearing up too 🥲 i hope it isnt too bad that looked nasty

i like okada being so condescending but i also like seeing him eat dirt tbh (mostly cause... he (kayfabe) has still not really grown on me... i want him to but he's just not my type i think) so having sanada beat that version of him was satisfying

and just. feeling so many things. about sanada... he smiles and talks so much now!! taichi keeps looking so smug about having him around. the new gear is all sparkly and shiny and i can't believe i get to see his thighs now

oh my god i just didnt know how to articulate anything in those last three matches i had such a great time and i am SO HAPPY SANADA WON HOLY SHIT HE DID IT

[saintobio]

this chapter was just… idk what to say. it’s amazing and soooo well-written but fuck. my heart can’t take it. i have sm things to say!!

first off, how dare gojo be worried about us??? like he isn’t the cause of our suffering??? gojo u bastard 🖕 strangely enough, i actually do believe he wanted to enjoy bora bora with y/n. he’s just an indecisive little child and cannot choose between y/n and sera

i’m glad y/n finally noticed gojo wearing the wedding ring! but damn. it really had to end that way huh 🥲

i love how one of the first people to know about the cheating was shoko and geto, gojo’s friends. personally it means a lot more that the one who talks to y/n about this is not someone close to her like gen or her father, bc we know that shoko and geto voicing their disapproval lends more validity to y/n’s feelings since they’re gojo’s friends. so the fact that his own friends don’t support his bs proves just how wrong the situation is and how y/n’s feelings are very valid

“I couldn’t tell her that it’s not right for her to come anymore.” gojo it’s time for you to put your foot down and make a decision. “and you’ve been so cold to me for the past week for no reason. What’s your problem?” FOR NO REASON?? BITCH TELL ME. when this man is being sweet i cave in, just like y/n. but when he’s being an ass i wanna choke the life outta him istg

on some better news, i like how gojo’s beginning to realise just how traumatic iceland was for y/n. development! yay? only to be broken later on but let’s not talk abt that yet

when gojo slipped into y/n’s room bc he could no longer sleep peacefully unless it’s with her… 🙁 god that was so painful. but also quite satisfying to know that his body aches for the comfort of y/n’s presence. and when y/n woke up later that morning and felt disgusted bc she believed he and sera did it when they didn’t even do it? god they’re both really out of sync it hurts

and toji?? MR TOJI ZENIN??? when he left a comment on y/n’s post i screeched so loud my brother told me to stfu cuz he had an online class 😭😭 i was hoping gojo would flip y/n’s phone and see that she’s been stalking toji shajsjsksk also when they were on the plane why didn’t gojo hear y/n say she and toji were friends?? 😩 i wanted him to be so salty. see now even geto and shoko know that toji would treat y/n better than gojo ever could, even if only as a friend 😌

one word: sera. bitch. what a fucking bitch. i was holding back my anger on her bc she ain’t worth it but goddamn i fucking hate her sm. i hate her even more when she smiled???? after gojo fucked her??? like i understand why she would think gojo genuinely wanted to fuck her raw and cum in her but by god i would do anything to smack that smile off her face. first, she installed the fucking app. second, the audacity to even go up to y/n and what? assert her dominance? bitch the entire world would never side with you. y/n is the legal wife and you’re just pathetic cheating scum. hope hoejo’s dad deals with her filthy ass and that of her family’s so they don’t spawn anymore!!

another one: geto. i know we had our reservations abt him at first, but it’s nice to finally see him making a stand. i think he’s beginning to see y/n as a friend after he got to know her, wc is great bc y/n needs all the support she can get, and where else to get it than from her stupid husband’s friends. i like how sera mentioned this isn’t the first time geto and gojo have fought, but i admire how he’s basically stepping in and telling gojo to make a fucking decision. bc honestly gojo’s indecision is what’s fucking things up for everybody. even for stupid sera. someone needed to tell gojo that he is indeed becoming like his father and it’s only fitting that geto is the one to do it bc y/n doing it (as she alluded to when they were fighting) just made gojo angrier and clouded his senses since he still has some misplaced anger towards her.

the fight: okay i was lowkey half-hoping y/n is rushed to the hospital of smth shsjsjsks but damn it still hurt either way 🥲 finally, everything has come bursting out. i’m glad y/n got to speak her side of the story but oh how poetically unfortunate that gojo only felt remorse after (1) making y/n cry so hard she passed out, and (2) raw fucking that sera bitch. i know you said gojo’s character will really start changing in ch 9 so i’m actually very excited to see how you will flesh him out even more

ok so about the last part. i think what i find most painful is the fact that we KNOW gojo will regret fucking sera raw. and i personally find it sm harder to hate someone who would inevitably regret his actions. like, for me it’s better if gojo actually intentionally, wholeheartedly fucked sera raw without any care for the world bc then i could bask in my hatred for him. the feeling i have right now resembles that one painting of ivan the terrible killing his son and the visceral look of regret that came on his face right after. it’s like when you do something so bad no matter how much you regret it, it’s already too late to do anything.

moving forward, i def think sera will become pregnant. it makes sense narratively. it was foreshadowed earlier in the chapter with the period tracker, and with sera actually telling y/n about the possibility that she will get pregnant. but i think where it will differ is in the part where sera says that if this happens, gojo will be hers. bc the total opposite will happen. poetic justice? definitely 😁

now idk if gojo will be able to convince sera to abort the fetus. but either way, i’m with gojo’s dad on this one 🏌️🏌️🏌️ club tf outta these hoes !!! i honest to god hope gojo gets a good flogging once his dad finds out abt the pregnancy. i’m sorry he had to suffer during his childhood but fuck that, he hurt other ppl (y/n, his mom) so bad he deserves it and more.

all in all this chapter was so intense. when y/n and gojo had their confrontation i felt like i wanted to scream just like y/n shsjsjskk. thank u for writing this series and i hope u have a good weekend!! 💕

(i actually have another part to be added in a diff ask. i just chose not to include it here in case it contains spoilers shajsjs)

(hi from the prev ask. this is the second part with the prediction shjsjsks)

so i think the progression of the story will go from the climax (ch 8) to a separation (whether official or not), to a reunion (now idk where this will go from here). i could see gojo and sera trying to work it out but things ultimately falling apart. then maybe gojo and y/n would reunite again to talk things through. i don’t think an official divorce will happen but i totally see y/n leaving for a while maybe to pursue things that will make her happy, with the open ending being one where she and gojo will promise to meet again someday when she’s ready. this time, gojo will be the husband waiting for her to return home :)

aaaaa i just wanna say (again) that i love this series sm and it gives me life every week. i love going thru ur asks in between each update and i know the angst will hurt me sm but it’s just soooo good!

A+ for this essay this literally encompassed all the important plot points from the previous chapter and you are vv amazing for that !! 😭 thank u for taking the time to send me ur thoughts <33 i can’t answer ur theories but i’m sure the other readers can relate/have the same predictions in mind.

[lazywonderlvnd]

Hi, if you are still taking prompts; A magically powerful Harry not noticing that his magic does things to make Draco happy. This can be pre-relationship or established relationship. Like it starts of with his tea being exactly as he likes and always the right temperature. Then evolves to rooms changing colour or weather changing or people being unable to invade Draco’s personal space due to an invisible barrier or something ridiculous. Btw Draco doesn’t notice as well.

anon.....you really killed me w this one. i’ve been so emo over this wyugeahrwiw might end up writing smth longer tbh bc this concept is literally the only thing that matters to me!!!!!!! i hope u enjoy i had so much fun with it ❤️❤️❤️

“Harry, you do it. Please.”

“No.”

“Please!”

“We’re fucking watching something, Draco!”

“So just pause it!”

Harry grabs the pillow on his lap and slams it onto the sofa next to him. Hermione can see dust rise in its wake. He pauses the telly. 

“Are you doing it?” Draco asks hopefully. Harry scowls at him. 

“Well you won’t shut up until I do, will you?”

“Definitely not.”

Harry disappears into the kitchen and Draco sits there looking smug.

“It’s kind of sick how you get off on bossing him around,” says Ron, his tone one of simple observation. His fingers are idly playing with Hermione’s hair, but she doesn’t think he notices he’s doing it. 

“If I’m not mean to him a few times a week I break out in a rash, Weasley,” Draco says blithely. “Besides, he makes it perfectly. I don’t know how he does it, it’s always exactly the right temperature and sweetness and all that. I s’pose his years as a house-elf for those Muggles gave him plenty of time to perfect the art.”

“You’re a twat,” says Ron. “And my mum makes tea better than him.”

“Well you’re just a pitiful little mummy’s boy, aren’t you, Weasley? We can hardly trust your opinion.”

“Hark who the hell’s talking,” Ron scoffs. “Least I’m not twenty-three and still calling my mum ‘mummy’ like the world’s biggest bloody ponce.”

Draco splutters but before he can retort Harry’s coming back into the room hovering four cups of tea that float placidly to each of them. Draco looks exactly like a satisfied cat as he takes his and Harry drops back down onto the sofa next to him. Not too close, but certainly not too far, either.

“Literally exquisite,” Draco declares after he’s taken a sip. Ron rolls his eyes.

“It’s just tea, Draco,” says Harry, and he grabs for the remote to turn the film back on. “You’re such a demanding little brat. Merlin’s fucking tits.”

But Draco looks happy and Harry looks suspiciously content as well. Ron turns to her and makes a silent gagging face. Hermione snorts and puts a finger to her lips. They’ve decided not to say anything yet.

*

“Wasn’t this place a lot … uglier last time?”

“What?” Harry says absently. He’s not listening — he’s got all his attention zeroed in on a stack of parchment he’s holding. They’d only barely dragged him along to lunch; earlier the captain of the English National Team had apparently owled him a great number of brand-new Quidditch plays and required Harry’s extensive thoughts and notes before their next practise, which was tomorrow morning. 

“Uglier,” Draco says emphatically, and Ron mutters something she doesn’t catch. “Remember? The walls were that tragic egg-yolk colour.” He shivers. Hermione thinks it might have been an honest-to-god shiver of revulsion. She also thinks she knows what’s happened, even though the extent of it surprises her.

“Maybe someone heard you whingeing and changed it,” Ron apparently can’t stop himself from saying with a snigger. Hermione elbows him hard and he shoots her a glare, mouthing, he doesn’t know!

Harry would usually be the one to take the lead and get them a table when all four of them go out to eat together but today he’s too wrapped up in his Quidditch plays, so Ron steps forward and does it, which makes Hermione’s chest flutter pleasantly. He’d blush down to his bones if she ever said it aloud but he’s quite capable of being a leader in Harry’s absences. 

“Whatever happened,” says Draco pointedly as they’re led to their table, “it’s a great bloody blessing, I was genuinely unsure I’d have the mental fortitude to survive another assault like that on my delicate senses. And, I mean, this —” he gestures to the walls, which are now an admittedly pleasing dark teal above a white trim “— is stunning. It’s my favourite colour.”

“Is it? So weird they picked your favourite colour completely by coincidence,” Ron says, and Hermione elbows him again. Draco notices nothing and neither does Harry, although he does finally set the plays aside once they’re seated at the table.

“Are you complaining about the wall colour again?” he asks drily. They would both be extremely displeased to know they sound like an old married couple. Draco snatches haughtily at the paper napkin on the table and unfolds it to place over his lap. The first time he’d ever done this at a regular, decidedly not upscale restaurant Ron had taken it upon himself to spend the entire meal adopting a posh accent to match Draco’s and saying things to the waiter like “Don’t you have crystal?” while holding up a glass cup full of Pepsi and then commenting “These aren’t real silver, you know” after making a show of inspecting the titanium utensils. 

“I can complain about hideous design choices if I want to,” Draco tells Harry with his nose in the air. “Thankfully they’ve rectified it this time.”

On the other side of the restaurant, Hermione sees two employees talking, one of them gesturing at the wall with utter bewilderment. She doesn’t point it out.

*

“Twelve o’clock,” says Ron, nodding past Draco’s shoulder. “Some bloke staring you down hard, Malfoy.”

Draco looks excitedly behind him, but what Hermione takes more notice of is the way Harry’s face falls a little. She can’t help but wonder if he even realises it’s happened. She’s almost certain he’s aware of his feelings for Draco even though he still hasn’t said anything to her (and she’s been waiting months now, the effort of holding her tongue growing only more difficult by the day, and she knows Ron’s always seconds away from shouting at him) but she doesn’t think he knows how obvious he is. Draco doesn’t seem to know either, but she thinks that’s because Draco feels exactly the same way. She’d have called them morons, but she remembers too well how long it had taken her and Ron.

“What the fuck, Weasley,” Draco hisses, turning back around with a scowl that makes Ron laugh and Harry perk up again a little bit. “He looks like he hasn’t washed his hair in weeks.”

“Now, now,” says Ron, “mustn’t judge books by their greasy covers.”

“Then you go shag him if you think he’s so fit.”

“Maybe I will,” Ron says airily, as if he really is considering it, and Hermione can’t help chuckling and kissing his cheek. Then his expression changes to one of wicked amusement, which makes all of them look round to see the bloke coming their way. Hermione glances at Harry to find that — oh yes, he looks flustered and vaguely upset.

“Hullo,” says the greasy bloke to Draco as he comes up beside him at their table. He’s really not terrible-looking, but if she’s learned anything about Draco in the last couple years it’s that his standards amount to models and Harry Potter, so this man has almost no chance.

“Hello,” Draco drawls, reminding her fiercely of his younger self at Hogwarts. “I’m not interested.”

“Right little narcissistic bugger, aren’t you?” the man says. And now, finally, he’s begun to look as revolting to Hermione as he’d done initially to Draco — a repellent personality can do that. “Maybe I just wanted to come and have a chat.”

“Then why aren’t you looking at any of the rest of us?” Ron asks, sounding halfway between amused still and a little put off.

“Can you leave, please?” Draco interjects, cringing away from the man encroaching slowly on his personal space. And suddenly, as he looks on the verge of antagonising Draco further, he shifts his feet and slips, landing right on his bum with a yell of surprise. All four of them get to their feet to see, but there doesn’t seem to be any liquid or even slimy food for him to have tripped on.

“The fuck ...?” the man says, getting back to his feet. But when he moved towards Draco, he only slips again, on absolutely nothing at all. Something clicks and Hermione looks at Harry: he seems as confused as anyone else (if obviously pleased).

She looks at Ron then, who catches her eye and lifts his brows like he’s thinking the same thing.

Draco’s suitor gets up once more and steadies himself, looking a bit dazed. Some deep animal instinct seems to tell him to stop trying, and with a wary glance at Draco he finally leaves.

“Well that was a bit of a fucking scene,” says Harry. Draco, coming out of his own startled daze, laughs.

“Yeah,” Ron says sarcastically, “wonder what could’ve possibly happened.”

*

“I really thought it was going to rain,” Draco mopes where he’s standing at the window. It’s grey outside but it definitely doesn’t look like rain and Draco appears so upset about it that Hermione actually feels badly, even though she’s quite glad for the clear weather. 

“Just shut the curtains,” Ron suggests from his place on the floor. He’s sorting through Harry’s collection of VHS tapes, trying to decide on a good Halloween movie. Not that he’s ever seen any of them, and Hermione suspects he’ll end up choosing whichever cover he likes best.

“It’s not the same!” Draco wails. “The thunder and lightning is all part of it, you uncultured pillock! The atmosphere is all wrong.”

“It’ll be just as good when we shut off all the lights and draw the curtains,” she assures him, but it doesn’t remove the look of disappointment from his face. It’s a pouty sort of thing that echoes the brattiness of his youth; she imagines a five-or-six-year-old Draco giving his parents similar looks when he wasn’t getting what he wanted.

 At that moment the front door opens and Harry walks in carrying two grocery bags, one of which contains alcohol, which Hermione can tell by the way the plastic is bulging around the cans.

“The fuck are you all doing here?” he says by way of greeting.

“You said eight o’clock, fuckhead,” Ron tells him without looking up. “But it’s fine, I’ve had time to pick a film and Malfoy’s had time to moan about the weather.”

“What’s wrong with the weather?”

“I wanted a storm!”

At that exact moment, a flash of lightning lights up the sky behind Harry where he hasn’t even closed the door yet. Seconds later a downpour begins, and then there’s a rolling crash of thunder.

Hermione’s eyes widen and once more she finds Ron’s gaze, who looks about as shocked as she feels. Draco, meanwhile, has his hands over his mouth and looks like a child on Christmas morning.

For the first time since his magic had begun picking up on Draco’s wishes and granting them of seemingly its own accord, Hermione sees Harry look suspicious. He peers behind him at the storm suddenly raging outside his house before slowly closing the door. When he turns back he looks directly at Hermione, who looks away quickly.

They set up the food Harry had gotten — all kinds of Halloween-themed sweets — and once everyone has their drinks (“Make mine,” Draco tells Harry, “you do it best”) and is comfortable on the two sofas in the room (Harry and Draco are, as usual, as close to each other as they can get without actually touching) they start the movie: The Thing, which Harry swears is one of the greatest horror films of all time.

Funny thing is, an hour and a half into it she looks over and, with a jolt, realises the two of them are kissing half-covered beneath a blanket. She elbows Ron, who positively beams when he notices.

“Fucking finally, dear sweet Merlin,” he whispers, the sound muffled by the continued rain and thunder. “I nearly hit him upside the head when he made it rain, are you fucking kidding me?”

“Shh!” Hermione hisses, though she’s smiling. “They’ll hear you. We’ll rag him about it tomorrow.”

A soft sound of laughter comes from the other sofa that Hermione identifies as Draco’s, and when she risks another peek after a moment she sees that Harry has a hand on Draco’s jaw, and that he’s smiling.

[leejeongz]

nsfw a-z: PARK JIHOON (treasure)

requested: yes, by anon

🔅thanks for requesting sweetheart i hope u like it��

most of this is taken from conversations i’ve had with my good pal @multifandomwhxre there are probably thousands of direct quotes lol 🥺😳 if ur reading this, pls give her a follow ❤️

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

he gets quite soft. since he’s a hard dom, he wants to show you that even though you’re his little bitch, you’re also his little baby that he wants to cuddle forever. i think he’d like to talk about what happened and actually praise you in hopes of getting praised back.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he likes your eyes, he likes how they say everything. they tell him everything you’re too shy to say or everything you’re not allowed to say.

on him, he likes his arms (shocker ik). his physical strength gives him even more power over you, like being able to pin you down on the bed or up against a wall, maybe even hold you for a short while.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he LOVES to cum inside you but only when you agree to it. if you don’t, he’s more than happy to pull out and cum on your stomach and admire how pretty it looks. when he decides you’re just gonna suck his dick, he takes great care trying to get all of his cum into your mouth and making you swallow it while his hand holds up your chin, forcing you to look at him as you do so. sometimes it doesn’t always go as planned, getting it over your face, but he’d just be like “oh look at all this mess you just made” and then use his fingers to put in all into your mouth.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

all the pictures you send him get saved into an album and he uses them and them only to get off to, even some selfies are worthy of being put in the wank bank. he thinks porn is cheating and if he ever caught you watching it, he’d be pretty disappointed rather than turned on (even if u were just fwb), so that’s why he uses ur pics and his imagination.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he knows what he’s doing, alright. he’s had enough experience to know what he likes and that’s pretty much all that matters to him and all he lets on to you too. (he’s probably only had one sexual partner, but the way he acts makes you think he’s had more)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

butterfly (lying on the edge of the bed (or any surface) while he stands between your legs)

he loves being able to pull you closer to him by your legs, being able to reach deeper inside you and (maybe his favourite parts) being able to grab your tits and rub your clit with his thumb. there are no disadvantages of this position for him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

very serious. might laugh AT you but that’s the only laughing to be heard.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

completely clean shaven. even the balls lol.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

not very romantic. at all. you’re still his and he doesn’t let you forget that. but you’re his cum slut or his dirty little whore in the moment. kisses are few and far between and mainly occur after he’s finished.

just wanna make a quick point- he’s not always gonna be hard dom jihoon who loves to tease and doesn’t care for ur wants. ofc he reserves some time for you two to actually be romantic, with little tickles and smooches. he can switch it up real quick depending on how YOU are feeling, it’s not about him all the time. i just chose to write this mainly about the other side of him since that is the most InTeREsTiNG and probably the most frequent kind of sex you’d have.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

only once a week. quite secretive about it when he’s acc doing it but doesn’t shy away from cracking jokes or even just generally talking about masturbation with anyone.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

where do i even begin i think it would be easier to list kinks he doesn’t have… anyway:

degradation - in the moment, you’re his slut, his whore and your desires mean very little to him. he’s not going to stop when you ask him to stop (unless u say the safe word or seem genuinely uncomfortable), you ARE going to do what he tells you to do and when he tells you to do it and you are not going to do anything else.

bondage (kinda?)- handcuffs are his best friend, he likes having your hands where he can see them or where he can hold onto the chain/your wrists, behind your back is his favourite, but he never knows which he prefers, holding them or pulling your hair. even though he has handcuffs, sometimes he likes to spice it up and use a leather belt, he finds this hotter and it turns him on a lot more.

corruption - this can include taking your virginity or just “teaching” someone innocent (virgin or not) about sex. jihoon would love it if you kept asking questions and he could just show you. he’d love to see the sluttier side of you become more and more noticeable and apparent, knowing he did that to you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he’s up for doing it anywhere but he’d rather do it in the comfort of his own home, in the bedroom.

he wouldn’t be opposed to doing it on someone else’s bed. i imagine he’d actually find it pretty funny to fuck you on someone else’s bed, let you both get it all dirty, then go and face the friend all innocently. the inside joke/secret could be used for teasing or just to bring you closer together.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

i mean making him jealous always makes him wanna show you who you really belong to but do you really wanna be risking the best fuck of your life like that. he could easily get rid of you if you even slightly overstep the boundaries.

it’s safer to just… act like a little brat. telling him you don’t wanna do something for him like getting him a drink gets him real mad and mad jihoon=turned on jihoon when it comes to you.

but also just the normal stuff. seeing you all dressed up nice makes him wanna cancel your plans for you. pressing yourself against him while spooning gives him an instant hard on (and you need to be punished for doing that to him). sometimes even just the way you look at him, maybe it reminds him of how you look up at him while sucking his dick.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

let you be the dom 😳 absolutely never not in a million years. some guys might like to watch you try, but he doesn’t even give you the chance. he likes it when you top, but he would never EVER let you be in control.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

prefers to receive. likes to fuck your face and watch your mascara get ruined. wants you to take his whole dick, every last inch and will not be satisfied until you do.

when giving, he also likes to use his hands too. this man knows where the clit is i’m just saying. very rare that he eats you out (would rather use his fingers or toys during foreplay) and usually doesn’t last that long because it turns him on too much, he just wants to fuck you. when he does go down on you, it’s usually after he’s finished (doesn’t want to if he’s cum inside u tho).

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

whatever makes you squirm and moan the most. starts slow but gets fast real quick. once you let out even a hint of pleasure, he’s gonna slow it right down again. the “hard and fast” approach doesn’t work for everyone and so he’d make it suit your needs.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

would rather be able to spend time making the experience better and dirtier than the last, however, if he wanted to fuck there and then, or if he wanted to be in your mouth right at that moment, and there’s nothing stopping him, he’ll just take you to the bathroom or smth and would just d o i t. (tease him for a fast pass to the bathroom)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he will do almost everything once, and most of the time will enjoy it and do it again. a light bit of bdsm and sensory deprivation (with a safe word of course) would be incorporated into what you pair would deem a normal round after just a few nights.

he’d also try anything you wanted to, he wouldn’t shy away from anything that you suggested, even if he thought he wouldn’t like it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he can usually last for a while (a while in my opinion anyway idk what u think is a long time CoUgH cOUgh evie) maybe 20-30 minutes (including foreplay ofc) but he can only usually last one round a night. he’s more than happy to eat you out or put his hands to good use if you wanna cum again tho- one of the only times he’ll let you tell him what to do.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

uses toys to tease you. likes holding a vibrator to your clit and telling you not to cum until he says you can. it really turns him on to use them on you. but if he ever caught you using them on yourself without his permission… you’re in for one hell of a “talking to”.

would never use them on himself- he thinks giving you the power to use them on him, or even using them on himself, is too much power that he doesn’t have for himself if that makes sense.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

a whole bloody lot okay. he doesn’t care where you are or who you’re with, if he wants to tease you, he will. is the type to buy one of those toys that you can control on your phone and then laugh when you’re at point of orgasm in the middle of dinner. the reactions he gets from you might turn him on a little, and it’s always your fault if they do, you’re gonna pay for it.

he’s really REALLY unfair during sex too, although to him it’s very fair that you have to wait to be treated. as i mentioned before, he likes to steady the pace when you’re getting into it and he also likes slapping his dick on you to tease you before actually going in. just some of the many things he does to tease you and to treat you “as you deserve”

a lot of the teasing he does is for you though, don’t get me wrong. he knows this will make up you hungrier and you will cum harder and feel good so he doesn’t it all the more.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

GROWLS

only so you can hear them, right next to your ear.

and also a lot of degradation, but volume isn’t something he cares about with that.

idk where to put this but i don’t think he’d be a fan of you being too loud, especially when there are other people in the house. if they were gonna hear anyone, he wants it to be him.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

“come here” jihoon orders as you shut the front door behind you.

you apprehensively approach the coach upon which he is sat, relaxed but noticeably hard.

“care to explain this” he shows you the text you sent him as you were on your way home reading “remember that cash you gave me to spend?” with a photo of your new ruby red lingerie set attached. “you knew what you were doing, didn’t you? maybe i shouldn’t even punish you for this, but i want to”

you swallowed audibly, knowing you were going to be punished, kind of excited about what’s to come.

“get here” he nodded towards his lap. you did as he requested, lying face down on his lap, and he immediately pulled your jeans down a little. he rubbed your ass a little before forcefully planting a harsh hand on it. the other hand held your wrists together behind your back, squeezing them until they became numb. you squealed a little which encouraged another smack. both cheeks soon became the same colour as your new lingerie, still jiggling as much as the first time even though you were tense.

“you want another?” he asked. you nodded without thinking, the stinging infesting your brain. “hmm interesting” he sat back for a moment, considering his next move while his hand rested on your back. you tried to get up… little did you know this was when the real punishment was going to begin.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

does it matter this guy can give you all the pleasure you need with whatever tools he’s got 👀

but i think he’s average tbh… maybe a lil bit longer and girthier (?) but nothing too large. one of the biggest in group. still enough to have you choking and gagging in the first 5 mins of a blowjob hahahahahah

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

very high 😳 and he’s not afraid to show it. 5 days a week is his ideal but he understands that too much of a good thing can make you bored of it so it’s usually probably just once or twice a week. expects some spontaneous head when ur not gonna acc have sex tho.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

once he knows that you’re happy and that you’ve had a good time, he can fall asleep anytime (usually pretty quickly bc he’s tired from having a literal workout with you). if something seems off with you afterwards, he’d stay awake for hours thinking what he could have possibly done wrong, even though he knows you’d tell him if something was wrong.

[seiwas]

niku am crYEN RN READING UR RevIEW plSLSJSKZNAA 😭😭😭

u calling my writing beautiful 🥹🥹🥹 have u seen urs!!! 🫠 captivating pFT idk what to do w myself niku !!!! i’m blushin !!! 🥹

the beach scene was such a joy for me to write too!! i was smiling the entire time!! i rlly wanted to capture gojo feeling the force of everything for the first time!! (or at least realizing it!! like ‘why am i noticing it now?’ ‘was that always there before?’) and normally i think these things come out much earlier on in relationships (like the crush stage or smth!) but bc they’ve known eachother for so long, their timeline’s all wonky and it hits him full force !!!

and the photo!!! dw 😭😭😭 i was cryin too 😭😭😭 after writing it i had to hug myself 😭😭 i think more than the relationship between reader n gojo i tried to inject a lot of portions pertaining to that too!! the nostalgia and the history of everyone 🤧 bc i think, u know. even if it’s done and they’re moving on, i don’t think it’ll ever be forgotten ? or like—it isn’t that easy to separate themselves from it. u put it perfectly!! the memories of them remain ☹️

and that line omg—there is only inevitability 😭 that’s so them niku!!!!

tbh if the col universe expands more i actually see yuuji n reader having a rlly nice relationship 🥺 kind of like another megumi except yuuji is yuuji so he’s more reciprocating 🥺 and overall lively 🥺 and more of a threat to ur time w gojo bc he’ll always be wanting to hang out! or smth! and OFC gojo gets jealous 😭

yes… consummate,,, gojo is annoying… like that…

and yes the fight niku omg 😭 the whole extended cut is rlly more a gift to u than anything!! the whole tone of it wouldn’t have worked with ‘so this is what it means…’ (which is why i only included a portion of it) but then i thought: niku would wonder abt what was rlly said tho!!! so i just decided to complete the whole thing and release it as smth separate!!! 🤧🫣🥹 but i’m so glad that u still enjoy his characterisation to this day!!! i was so worried that i removed the very thing that made col gojo, col gojo bc i developed his character a lot from the previous installments to this one now (and i was scared it’d be a big jump 😭) but for u to say that it still feels natural, having peeled his layers bit by bit like this i’m 🥹🥹

omg the fact that you’ve thought abt col more than once w that song 😭😭 that’s going to the col playlist for sure!! i’m listening to it rn!!! tears in my eyes!!

AND YES 😭 i rlly wanted gojo to say it completely unplanned n almost like he doesn’t even realize it 😭😭 it’s a very time-stops moment for him

NIKU U KNOW I CANT WRITE SM*T FOR SHIT 😭😭😭 i really tried to push it with this 😭😭😭 this is the best i can do i think . I mentioned it to an anon a while ago but i tried to hint at them having already done it or at least gotten very intimate alr before!! so it def isn’t the first time in this fic ! i think maybe i hinted it too lightly so it wasn’t rlly noticeable 🥹🫣

thank u so much for taking the time to read and review niku baby 🥹😭 i rlly appreciate it aindks the fic is so long ,,,

i realized during outlining this that col reader is rlly too good for gojo 😭😭 and i’ve had such a deep appreciation for her since 😭😭 it IS funny but i love it bc i think either works for him 😭😭😭 he either gets an angel or someone who matches up to him completely!!!! no in between and i love that!!!

to render u speechless is high praise 🥹

And WRITING THAT LINE . I felt it in my BONES. Literally 😭😭😭 it was so satisfying when i got it down 😭😭 i think that’s what i mean when i mean i alluded to gojo rlly wanting reader intimately ,,,, carnally ,,,,, intensely …. 😭😭 it’s impossible that they didn’t fuck almost immediately after their first kiss 😭😭

i am hugging u!!! holding u!!! forever loving u!!! for being a part of col as much as i am!!! and for literally cheering me on all the time and being d 1 person i can always talk col with 🥹🥹 thank u for loving them as much as i do niku baby!!!

₊˚⊹。so this is what it means to be in love | gojo satoru

wc: 8.9k summary: gojo finds out what it really means to be in love.  contains: f!reader in mind, friends to lovers (prev. slowburn), suggestive scenes, might be mildly explicit? (i only mention ‘butt’ once though…), ‘being in love’ as a journey, almost like a falls in love first (you) vs. falls in love harder (gojo), they fight, they swear, character death/s mentioned, shibuya onwards spoilers, lots and lots and lots of love a/n: this is better read after the other parts in the collection but can work as a stand alone too!, there’s a jump between this and tell me about love (show me how) so gojo would have developed a lot in the relationship since then!  part iii of conversations on love: i | ii | iii

comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡

Gojo catches onto love slowly.

He takes the hand you leave open just for him, and closes the space between your palms, reducing infinity. 

Maybe he’s felt it all this time without knowing; after all, love looks a lot less profound as friends in your early 20’s. 

But being in it—being in love? That’s uncharted territory. 

Gojo’s been to a lot of places, has travelled back and forth from point-to-point endlessly. He’s survived battles, a war, near-death, and cursed spirits reincarnate; even then, he’s got eyes—two bright blue and an extra four hidden, ones that see beyond human comprehension. Unearthing this simple truth shouldn’t shake him, shouldn’t even faze him. If anything, he should have seen it coming—

Except he doesn’t. 

It sneaks up on him, bit by bit, until he finds that being in love means getting to experience you all over again, just differently.

.

.

.

It starts with the little things. 

Gojo has known you for so long (a decade and a few years more), but has only recently begun to notice everything: how your baby hairs stick out in the humidity of summer, the way you purse your lips in thought before finally deciding on a drink to order. You play with your fingernails subconsciously, out of habit, the soft taps on your nail beds an accompaniment of anxiety-ridden conversations you’ve had since you were 23. 

He knows you always blink twice before focusing on him, and it’s a mystery whether this is a recent development or something he’s just never noticed, but if you’re trying to enchant him by the flutter of your eyelashes, he wants to let you know that it’s working—except, he knows that you aren’t, because you’re just like that: a daydream without even trying. 

These aren’t new things; he’s sure he’s probably encountered them all before, but lately they’ve evolved into cute things, and there’s no hiding the slight curve of his lips every time he spots them. 

.

The sun is beaming brighter this summer, the ocean a faraway blur from the beach towel set-up you made under the shade. Going to the beach is never your go-to when you think of an extremely hot afternoon, but Yuuji’s been eyeing a weekend getaway since sorcerer work’s lessened significantly. 

‘It’s a good effort,’ Gojo convinces you, ‘to get everyone together again.’

And it is—you see it now: Yuuji and Megumi preparing to fling Yuuta into the water while Nobara and Maki race along the shoreline. Toge stays close to Panda but he watches fondly, eyes crinkling every now and then, happy. 

When you blink, the image of them softens—a captured memory in the heat haze. 

The only older ones here are you and Gojo; Shoko’s always disliked the stickiness of sunblock on her skin, and Ijichi’s new position has made him constantly busy. Somewhere in the distance, you can maybe envision Nanami. He wouldn’t come if you or Gojo asked, but if it were Yuuji—

You rub at your eye, resting your chin on your hand as you will your tear ducts to please, don’t cry. 

Yuuji's been smiling a lot more lately, an observation you note from the way his ears are perked up every time you look his way. It’ll never be the same as it used to be but it’s relieving to know that he can exist living as himself now. Just Yuuji. 

You hug your knees tighter to your chest, wrapping your arms around it. Your place under the coconut tree provides ample enough shade but your back still burns from Gojo haphazardly slathering sunscreen on it after hearing an ice cream stand from miles away. 

The mind is a weird place to be at times like this—split into bittersweet reminiscing and telling yourself to just take this moment and breathe, to live in it. You think about Megumi, and how you hurt for him, always will, for all that he’s lost despite every attempt to avoid it.

You should have been there for Tsumiki, you could have been there for both of them. 

Your guilt never leaves you even on days that shine as vividly as this, but perhaps that’s the silver lining—that they’re still with you, always. You can carry pieces of them to these places, and scatter them to the wind, to the sand, to the sea, and maybe to the ice cream stand Gojo’s waiting in line of, surrounded entirely by kids. They all rise to half his size, but if you squint, you think the bounce in his step makes him blend right in. 

A chuckle escapes you. 

You could sort through your memories and land on one where he looks just like this—freakishly large limbs towering over a tiny, excited Tsumiki. Back then, an ice cream stop after school consisted of your pseudo-family of four, with Megumi on your hand and Tsumiki on his leg, both gripping tightly to combat a chilly 10°C.

Things are different now, evidently. Megumi’s outgrown it, and Tsumiki is no longer here. But Gojo has stayed the same, and it’s comforting to know that he will continue to be this Satoru, your Satoru, even when some things are gone. 

You don’t realize you’re spacing out until he waves the ice cream cone while walking towards you.  

Gojo is a sight in trunks the color of his eyes, with seahorses and starfishes in an alternating pattern of peachy-pink against cerulean blue. 

You could have sworn you asked for your own cone, but he plops down beside you holding only one. For the both of you. The side-eye you give him is almost criminal, if not deadly, but your lips twitch from the smile you’re hiding (terribly). 

He raises an eyebrow and you break character, shaking your head while laughing. 

“Did you eat the other one on the way here?” you tease, craning your neck to lick at the bottom scoop (vanilla-strawberry-vanilla, gojo’s signature order). 

Your tongue lands dangerously close to his fingers, and he feels it, but his eyes only land on you—your lips, how they part for your tongue to glide smoothly on his–both of your–dessert. You look every bit of an angel in the soft, pale hues of your bikini, but Gojo’s thoughts are anything but saintly. 

He blushes furiously, the tips of his ears and nose bright red as he turns away from you quickly. 

“I’m fulfilling your dream of sharing an ice cream cone with me.” he tilts his chin up, proud, smirking slightly. He jokes about it knowing full well that this is his dream come true, just by the look of you. 

You stay quiet, rolling your eyes but never meanly, no. You only ever do it fondly—he knows, being on the receiving end of it one too many times. 

The beach towel scrunches when you scoot closer, looping your arm around his as you both rest your elbows on your knees. Gojo holds the cone between you two, tipping it towards you when it’s your turn to nip and lick. 

He shouldn’t stare, shouldn’t hyperfixate, but it’s so cute how you get the tiniest bit of ice cream on the tip of your nose—as if it belongs there, soft and sweet just like the rest of you. 

You look up to find Gojo gazing at you, eyes glimmering like the reflection of sunlight on the ocean, and a tiny smile that only widens when he realizes you’ve caught him red-handed. Your eyes narrow suspiciously, scrunching your nose in an effort to stop yourself from grinning. 

When Gojo looks at you this way, as if you are his favorite place rediscovered, your heart thumps furiously against your ribcage. 

“What…” you drawl, your smile impossible to hide in the lilt of your voice. 

Gojo thinks he can count every eyelash, every speck of sand dotting your face, and stil not be bored of you. He can’t stop beaming. 

Is this what it means to be in love with you? 

“Nothing.” he replies, almost giggling, a little bashful but with every inch of sincerity. You know that smile, the only one that holds every ounce of Satoru. Gojo smiles big and wide to everyone else, but this small one you know, is reserved just for you. 

He leans in, lips coming closer to brush against the tip of your nose. Your eyes fall shut, instinctively, and the pink dot is wiped clean, a hint of strawberry dancing on his palette. He’s done this more times than he can count, has already been this near to know that close will never be close enough, but you still jolt a bit—PDA has never been your thing. 

When he pulls away, you continue to stare at each other, locked in a gaze until the ice cream begins to drip down his fingers and onto the beach towel. It misses his trunks by a hair and you both laugh at how he belatedly tries to escape it even though it’s already there. 

It’s indescribable, this moment, seeing you in slow motion, laughing as bright as the sun—the sweetest sound he’s ever heard. It takes every bit of him to look away so he can wipe his hands clean from the dripping dessert.

You hand him a packet of wet wipes and beckon him to sit in front of you after. Squeezed onto the palm of your hand is a copious amount of sunscreen you plan to slather all over him. A touch-up, if you will. 

Gojo has sensitive skin, pale as bond paper and burns just as quickly. The high points of his face are already reddening, warm to the touch when you dab at them with sunscreen. 

You’re so near, so close, sitting cross-legged in front of him with your knees touching his. The tip of your tongue sticks out just slightly as you focus on his skin. 

Even though he knows, he still wonders what your lips would taste like, SPF chapstick and crumbly bits from the wafer cone. He wonders what your eyelashes would feel like, fluttering over his own. 

The light casts a halo around you and he thinks it’s fitting for all that you do. You pamper him like this, slather love all over his chest and back, massage it in so it dissolves into him��and he feels it so deep that he tastes it.

How can your love be so sweet? He thinks, sighing as your fingers work sunscreen up his neck from his collarbone. You always apply his skincare upwards, something about keeping his baby face even when he’s old. 

“You should join them,” you mumble, rubbing more product onto the nape of his neck. You’re leaning over his shoulder, neck brushed against his cheek. 

Gojo hums, watching everyone from a distance. It’s been a while since he’s had a day like this. 

“But maybe after 30 minutes, so the sunblock doesn’t wash off. You’re already burning.” you note, coming back to sit. 

Of course, he’s already burning. How can he not when the sun is right in front of him? 

.

You join everyone for a game of beach volleyball in the sunset of the afternoon. You’re transported back to high school, the last time you did this—you and Satoru against Shoko and Suguru, with Haibara keeping score. 

From the way Gojo’s eyes are glossed over, you can tell he’s thinking about it too, the memory having seared itself into your brains forever, it seems. 

Being paired together should feel familiar—the same, but it doesn’t—isn’t, because Gojo can’t concentrate, sneaking glances to notice all the little things about you that he never used to. Your skin shines from the combination of sweat and sunscreen, and when you crash into him it’s both sticky and slippery. He should really ask for a time-out before you blind him completely. 

You look unfairly good in your bikini, too good he can barely hear you calling for him; between the ocean and his blood rushing, any other sound is drowned out into nothing. 

Maki and Yuuji absolutely demolish the both of you, reaching 15 first in the final set. Gojo blames the loss on you of course, even though he’s missed every pass you’ve sent his way and netted 60% of his spikes. 

And maybe it technically is your fault—you and your (very distracting) little things. But it’s entirely on him that he’s fallen for it, fallen for you as much as this. 

.

.

.

Gojo thinks of love differently when he sees a picture of himself and all it does is remind him of you.

There’s a photo tucked safely in his wallet (saved and set as his homescreen too). Shoko snorts when she walks in on him printing it, all six-foot-three of him hunched over the small inkjet printer in the faculty room. 

“It’s all digital now, Satoru,” she scoffs, taking a puff on her cigarette. 

Gojo doesn’t say anything even though he knows it’s true, too focused on watching the printer push out the two-by-three inch image he’s about to cut into. 

Print photos aren’t as important anymore when cloud storage spaces are just as–if not more–accessible, but Gojo is admittedly sentimental despite every front he puts up to hide it. 

He’s kept every single gift you’ve given him and camouflaged it as decoration in his office, and the family drawing 10-year-old Tsumiki made is still folded between the pages of a self-help book Yaga had given him when he first decided to teach. 

When every moment is experienced so vividly, seen through a muddle of infinite energies, there are those he wishes could stay still—ones that take up space to remind him: ‘this is real, it happened, and here is proof that it did’. 

He already has one of all of you, fresh-faced and barely pushing the peaks of youth at 16. A tangle of arms wrapped around each other—one of his gripping tightly on Suguru, and the other hanging loosely over you. Utahime is crouched in front, holding the hand you’ve placed on her shoulder while pulling Shoko into a semi-squish-semi-hug (because out of the four of you, Shoko is her favorite—completely valid; if given the choice, she’d be your favorite too). Nanami and Haibara stay close to Suguru, squatting low to balance the photo, and Haibara is smiling, the ever cheery grin Suguru loves to dote on, while Nanami is Nanami—sharp features and a serious gaze that you all know he’ll grow into someday, handsome with age. 

For the longest time, Gojo has kept that photo hidden, locked away in the drawer of his bedside table as if keeping it there means the memory will stay guarded forever—untouched, unspoiled, unruined. 

It would have stayed there if you didn’t stumble upon it while looking for his painkillers during another one of his skull-crushing migraines. 

You approach him with the image hesitantly, eyes damp and glossy. Years have faded the colors ever so slightly, but the corners remain crisp from being stowed away neatly. You say sorry, that you shouldn’t have looked through his things, but you remember the moment it was taken so fondly: a visit to the Kyoto campus on a one-day break to train with other students. 

Gojo has many theories about time and the multitude of spaces it takes—like how a person can exist at different points in time, disparate at each instance, and still take up the same big chunk of space. The opposite can be true too, that someone can live finitely (just once) and occupy spaces in every place you look: the face of a passerby down the road, a sign at the corner of the street, or even a photograph that immortalizes people you once knew. 

He only shares when you ask, aware that he tends to be a bit of a nerd about it whenever it’s brought up, but you don't mind. You like listening to it all, no matter how insightful or confusing they are for you to make sense—a version of him not many get to witness. His explanations are comprehensible for the most part, except—

When Gojo tells you that he’s kept the image in his drawer, hidden, because exposing it to the space-time that exists now will erase every reminder that it ever happened, you hug him tightly. 

Your sniffles are heard from the way his head is tucked into the crook of your neck, your fingers gripping strands of his hair in empathy. 

He considers your near-tears as a sign that the memory is long gone, decayed into the brittling tragedy of reality. But you smile, the corners of your lips bittersweet as you express disbelief that he’s kept it all this time. 

You tell him delicately that some precious things are meant to be celebrated, put out to be remembered—to be experienced. 

And it becomes clearer to him then, by the look in your eyes and remembrance soft-spoken, that what good is a photo unseen? 

What good is a love unwitnessed?

When you gift him a frame a year after finding the photo, he hangs it by the wall next to his office door. The image is painful to look at, always has been (even when it was hidden in his drawer)—during Suguru’s defection, and death anniversaries especially. 

The recent one for Nanami was heavy; the first time he’s ever been able to process grief fully. 

Gojo can argue that it grows more difficult every time he catches a glimpse of it from his desk, but you have a way of honoring pain that doesn’t make it sting as bad—that turns it into a reminder of a love that was once there, of feelings that hurt as evidence that someone cared. 

Now, he wants another photo printed, one of just the two of you. Not because it hurts, but because he wants this precious thing to be remembered and seen—for this love to be witnessed too. 

It’s self-timered, snapped under the shade of a cherry blossom tree in full bloom. The picture is far from perfect: your eyes bright and mouth open mid-fear of his phone falling off the bridge railing. 

You may look a teensy bit funny, but Gojo will always find it cute. Anyone can see it, at how he looks at you in that moment—like you are every bit worthy of the distance travelled and seasons waited. He gazes at you fondly, eyes holding clear skies and pink lips curling into a small smile. 

It’s cheesy, but if you ask him what he thinks about this year’s flowers, he’ll tell you none of them (not even any of them combined) could compare to you. The cherry blossoms could be gone and he’d still see them everywhere (in the softness of your lips, the fullness of your cheeks, the radiance you emit when you are truly, solely content and happy). 

He remembers that afternoon well: the spring breeze that jolts his phone sideways, his hand resting on your lower back, unseen in the image. There’s no real reason for visiting the blossoms on this day of all days, but Gojo doesn’t believe in coincidences, and he’s counted down exactly to a year since you both had your first kiss.

It’s so silly, because he’s never thought of things like this before. He knows you probably don’t think much of it either considering that neither of you have made anything official yet since. 

And he feels a little stupid for that, honestly. 

You’ve been sleeping at each other’s places more often than not, and even though you go on these little trips that are so obviously dates, you both still just tell everyone you’re ‘hanging out’.

He’s not fooling anyone here, not when he looks at you then with the feeling of his chest expanding, stretching to accommodate the overflows of his affection since learning the ways to love you—tenderness caught in little pixels of eternity.  

When Gojo goes through all 179 photos from that afternoon, he filters out the ones to delete and picks this one out especially—favorites and resizes it to fit his home screen and his wallet too. 

There’s something about the look on his face that reminds him of every time he’s caught the same one on you. 

He slides the photo into the little sleeve behind his credit card, catching himself smiling—this must be because of you, he thinks, and the bits and pieces of yourself that have somehow become part of him slowly, sneaking into him unknowingly.

If this is what it means to be in love, with you, then he’s fucked. 

Don’t you know that he’s insatiable? These traces of you will only make him want the whole of you. 

.

You find the photo while he rushes to the restaurant restroom. On ‘hang out’s like this, you insist on splitting the bill, but Gojo has always been stubborn and you’ve learned that you can never argue. 

He hands you his wallet to pay with his card, and when you slide it out, the photo falls. It’s face down on the floor when you pick it up, fully expecting it to be a photocard of some idol you know Gojo follows. 

But it isn’t, and your smile widens. 

When Gojo comes back, you’re looking up at him affectionately, biting your lips as if to stop yourself from speaking—the same way he always does. 

It’s funny because, slotted between your two fingers is the photo he’s kind of flustered you found, but he has no time to be embarrassed when he sees a little bit of himself in the way you’re staring at him right now.

.

.

.

“So, Yuuji asked if we were together.” 

You quirk an eyebrow, looking up at Gojo from the pile of laundry you’ve begun folding on your bed. He emerges from the bathroom, ruffling his hair with a towel. 

Over the past year, Gojo has spent his weekends off with you, sleeping over and traipsing around your room in his pajama set as if he’s lived here just as long as you. 

You snort as you fold, amused that this is even a question to begin with. Yuuji’s always been known for being exceptionally dense, but you didn’t think it was this bad. Gojo was especially touchy with you during that beach trip, and you’re sure Megumi and Nobara have caught up to let him know by now, somehow. 

“What made him ask?” 

“I think he wants to take you away.” Gojo teases, wiggling his eyebrows as he throws the towel on the chair across your vanity. 

You roll your eyes, still sweetly, indulging him, “Sure.” 

It’s now a running joke that Gojo’s threatened about Yuuji stealing you; you’ve always had a soft spot for bright eyes and even brighter souls and Yuuji is as close to that as anyone can get. It’s not like that though; Yuuji is just like your Megumi—the two boys you want to protect and care for in hopes of treating them better than their lives have ever. 

Gojo feels the same, you know, otherwise he wouldn’t have guided them as much as he has (despite his questionable ways). Still, your hands have always been gentler, kinder—and though shorter, have always outstretched much farther than his. 

You have a way of inching your way into people’s lives that just fits. He’s experienced it first-hand, can’t even dare to imagine what his life would be like if you didn’t. 

He walks across the room to you, bed dipping as he steadies a knee before draping his entire body over your shoulders. 

Now that you think about it, it makes sense that Yuuji’s confused, because Gojo has always been extremely touchy to everyone, just never when the feelings mattered, with you. Kiss him once, though, and it snowballs into an avalanche of firsts. And what he’s about to do right now, he thinks, might just trigger another one to form all together. 

“As if I’d let him.” he mumbles right by your ear, chin tucked by the crook of your neck. It tickles when he speaks, his nose poking at your cheeks. 

“Who put you in charge?” you scoff jokingly, unfazed. 

He moves away from you in disbelief, mouth open as he stares at you mindlessly folding.

To be fair, he can’t fault you. You aren’t technically official even though you have kind-of-been for a little over a year. There’s no particular reason, just that you haven’t talked about it—part because you wanted him to approach it whenever he was ready, and also, because it just never seemed like a priority.

You laugh as he stares at you, stunned into silence, the pout on his face borrowed from all the versions of yours. 

There’s no point of contention because you’ve only ever loved Gojo since you were 17. 

“Kidding,” you kiss his cheek as an apology. 

“Don’t even joke about that.” he huffs, you’re starting to take after him a little too much.

“You’re mine.” he murmurs after, arms wrapped around your waist and legs stretched out wide to encase you. 

He says it as if it is the simplest truth. 

Your heartbeat quickens, too loud and pounding; this is the first time you’ve ever heard this from him. A part of you thinks this is just another one of those flirty side-comments he makes on a whim.

“You tell him that?” you hope he can’t hear your voice shake as he nuzzles your neck, your fingers trembling on the pair of socks you have yet to roll. 

He hums, hugging you tighter. He waits for you to finish folding before letting you lean against him, offering his fingers for you to fiddle with. They’re cold, long and slender, veiny just by a bit, and he always gives them to you like they’re yours, you like to think. 

There’s an inhale, a breath of hesitation, before he exhales.  

“Something like it.” 

You don’t say anything, only nod, and it’s nerve-wracking. He’s so nervous even though he knows he doesn’t have to be because it’s just you. And there’s no need to doubt what you’re feeling. But—

“You are though,” he pauses, “right?” 

He has to be sure. This is a testament to you more than himself that he’s learned to ask instead of bulldozing you like he does with everyone else. Who else will he pick that up from but you? 

There’s hesitation you hear that you think shouldn’t be there anymore; the fact that you’ve given so much of yourself to this man and he still thinks you’re unsure—

“‘Cause I’m yours.” he speaks, clearly, definitively, before you can even answer. And you know—you’ve known ever since that party years ago. A simple admittance: ‘I’m taken’. 

You turn around to face him, eyes shimmering. 

Can he see? You’re meant for him only. 

All you’ve ever wanted was to love him; everything else he’s done up until this point is already more than you could ever imagine. The labels can only do so much to capture the gravity of what you are to one another: years of history unpacked into a mishmash of feelings overlapping—it’s a lot.

You sit cross legged in front of him, your knees touching his. He’s biting his lips again, an anxious habit you want to kiss away. 

Gojo has proven far too much of himself already that he’s serious with you—your kind-of-confession, that confrontation, and the days after, all the ways you’ve both learned to love each other. 

You cup his cheeks. 

A single word cannot possibly define what he is to you.

“I mean, o-only if you want me to be.” he adds on, blue eyes darting back and forth.

Gojo runs his mouth almost all the time and you’ve never heard him stutter once in his life. Except now. 

He’s endearing like this—a version of him you are slowly discovering. 

“Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” you finally say, and it’s a relief. 

He feels good, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding. His arms pull you closer, hugging you tighter as you both smile. 

He kisses you once, twice, maybe a million times all over, travelling across your eyelids, the center of your forehead, down to the corners of your mouth before landing a real one right on your lips. 

Gojo always looks pretty but he looks prettiest like this, worry-free, with love in his eyes and nothing but pure happiness in the way he holds you. 

He won’t tell you that Yuuji asked about your anniversary, not if you were together. 

At least now he has an answer.

Gojo stares at you like he wants to say something, a thank you maybe, but he bites his lips instead. No words will ever amount to this feeling, he thinks, of his chest expanding and heart hammering. So he kisses you with all of it, trailing soft smacks of his lips down your neck, tickling. The tips of his hair are still wet from his shower, leaving droplets on your skin as he nips. 

You laugh—sprinkled in love. 

“S-stop!” you push him away, “Satoru,” giggling, “tickles!” 

“We have to consummate it now.” he whispers, grabbing you by the waist to place you on his lap, squeezing your sides while nibbling at your neck playfully. 

You roll your eyes at his antics, “It’s not–” you laugh out loud when he pinches your hips, “–marriage, Satoru.” 

Oh, if only you knew, he thinks. 

The image you’ve planted in his head is dangerous when he’s this drunk on love right now. 

More decades, more years spent with you? In another life, or maybe even in this one, if time permits, he wouldn’t mind making that come true. 

.

It’s crazy how much things can change—for all his life, he’s ruled out the possibility of love ever taking root in his ribcage. 

You’ve managed to make it feel so easy, so good, even when he was shit-terrified not knowing how to love you like he should. 

Now, he thinks, how could he ever miss out on love this way? A love this good, with you? 

.

.

.

For all of Gojo’s life, he’s never had to be anyone else—always the strongest, the only one. He’s never had to change anything about himself, because when you’re the best, what’s there to improve? 

In a way, this is why it works with you. You’ve taken him as he is, all the good and ugly and never asked for anything more than what he can give. 

But being this in love with you—it’s foreign. There are pieces within him shifting, all on their own without him knowing. 

How he wants to be better, for you. To be good enough to deserve all of it, and give back more of it too. 

Gojo doesn’t realize how much love has changed him until he feels it uprooting every insecurity he never even knew existed, pulling it all up to the surface. 

When things are going great, it’s hard to imagine them ever going the other way. 

.

.

.

“You don’t mean that.” you mumble, voice trembling.

Gojo stares at you, at your lips quivering and the fists clenched to your sides. There are tears collecting in pools by your eyes, and if there’s anything else he hates in this world, it’s seeing you cry. 

So why?

Why couldn’t he just shut up? 

“Please tell me you don’t mean that,” you take a step closer, gripping the edge of his jacket “Satoru.” your voice cracks, begging. 

It’s an out-of-body experience when Gojo registers that he’s fucked up, and he sees himself now, bird’s-eye-view, and thinks this is the worst thing he could do to you after all you’ve been through. 

“I need some time to think,” he says, finally, the only words coming out of his mouth—but he can’t hear himself speaking. 

He should have said sorry, taken it all back, he thinks, not make it worse by leaving. 

He heads for the door, heart crunching under each footstep away from you. 

Is this what being in love’s supposed to do? Break his heart while yours is bleeding?

.

You’re too good for Gojo, in every sense of the word—and he knows it.

You are far too kind, far too generous, far too patient with him. You give him more love than he deserves, definitely, and admittedly enough, with how he is, you have been settling for the bare minimum but that’s on him, not on you. 

He had no right speaking to you the way he did, hurting you with accusations born from insecurities he’s never before had to deal with. 

He knows it. 

Who accuses you of ‘meddling’ as if everything out of you doesn’t come from the goodness of your heart? Of provoking you with ‘chasing the bare minimum’ as if he isn’t aware that that’s all he’s given you to work with? 

Utahime was right in telling you to be careful with him, and he doesn’t blame her for it. He would have done the same. 

He should have told you there was something brewing inside of him already—should have talked to you instead of bursting from all the things people have been saying lately.

Gojo hasn’t spoken to you in three days and the feeling this compares to is worse than anything else he’s ever had to face. 

.

He knocks on your door at night, a little past dinner and too early for bedtime. They echo loudly within the walls of your apartment, and you drag yourself up despite your obvious look of heartbreak. 

Gojo hears your footsteps and everything moves entirely too slowly; the lock, taking far too long to turn, the gap between the door and the door frame widening incrementally. Even your face comes into view as if in stop motion, frame-by-frame, gradually.

His hands are in his pockets, lips bitten to bleed. He’s pretty sure he isn’t breathing when he takes you in—puffy eyes and a sweater that belongs to him. 

(Is it sick of him to say that he still finds you beautiful this way? Even when you look every bit the part of heartache?) 

Gojo didn’t have a plan coming here, didn’t have a list of things to say, just the feeling that he needed to talk to you, see you, even just be around you today. 

When your eyes meet, it’s quiet. You stare into him for one–two–three– (can you tell that they’re watery? Can you see they’re puffed up too?) and then open the door wider to let him in. You head straight to the kitchen, never once looking back while dragging your feet. 

He stands outside a few seconds more, waiting for you to take it back, but you don’t, so he walks in and closes the door.

He’s been in your apartment plenty of times before, has practically lived in it by how often he stays over. But this is the first time he’s felt wholly out of place, not knowing where to put himself, just standing in the space between your kitchen counter and the living room awkwardly.

You push a glass of water towards him and he can’t stop staring at it—at you, at your fingers that he wants nothing more now but to hold. 

Even with all his faults, all his wrongs, you open your arms for him to walk into, allow him in as if he didn’t just hurt you. 

And he wants to cry, at the fact that this place still feels like home, at how it’ll always feel that way wherever you go. 

How are you still treating him so kindly? Still taking care of him? A glass of water is one too many for someone like him. 

You turn away from him to pour yourself your own then he speaks—

“You should be angry with me.” Gojo says softly, but you hear it. 

You pause, tilting the pitcher back upright. 

“Why aren’t you angry at me?” he says, a little louder this time, more desperate, more pleading.

Why are you never angry at me? he wants to ask. 

You turn around to face him, putting the pitcher down.

Under your kitchen lights, his eyes shine like sunlight on the ocean, waves lapping on the shore. You think it might be a trick of the light, but his lips tremble when he closes them, as if he can’t speak any more. 

It’s just as you’ve said, there’s no point being angry with Gojo when your heart can never take it. 

You always give Gojo the benefit of the doubt, and though he’s hurt you—though this might be the most painful thing he’s told you yet, you know that he’s been under immense pressure lately. Stressed beyond belief from negotiating with the government on policies for jujutsu society. 

It’s not an excuse, you know, but Gojo always has his reasons. He’ll tell you eventually, you believe that much. 

You give him a sad smile, struggling to stop your tears from spilling. His fists are clenched too tightly, nails digging in hard enough to bleed. He hasn’t moved since coming in, so you push yourself off the kitchen sink towards him. 

You take his hands first, unfurl each finger pressed upon his palm and rub gently. He cries quietly for a love so pure that only you would attempt to ease his hurt despite the pain he’s dealt you. 

You tiptoe second, pulling the sleeves of your (his) sweater before reaching up to wipe his eyes—beautiful and blue just like you’ve always known, droplets of the ocean at your fingertips. 

“Be mad,” he whispers, “please.” squeezing his eyes tightly. 

It hurts more when you aren’t, he thinks. 

His hand comes up to grip your wrist, bringing it down to cup his cheek. You stroke your thumb across his skin, soothing, loving, and that’s all it takes for him to pull you in. He hugs you tight, arms wrapped around you, clutching. 

He wouldn’t deserve you. In any life.

Gojo’s never cried this much before, head pressed to your neck as you rub circles along his back, shushing him softly. You start sniffling too, small at first until it turns into soft hiccups when you finally cry. 

Your grip on him tightens. 

“‘M sorry.” he mumbles, lips moving against your neck. 

“‘S–” you hiccup, “–okay.” 

“Stop saying that when it’s not,” he presses against you, nuzzling your neck, “I hurt you.”

“Then don’t–” another hiccup, “–call yourself–” hic, “–bare minimum.” you cry harder. 

Gojo knows your heart and the tears that leak out of your eyes; he knows they hold pain for more than just you but every single person in your life. You, crying now, is evidence of that truth—shedding tears for him not just because of him when he thinks he’s the bare minimum. 

This must be what it means to be truly, deeply loved, he thinks, to have someone know what you mean without even having to speak it—to know your heart, and all the good and bad parts of it. 

“I don’t think I’m good enough to you,” he admits, pulling himself away from you.

When he sees your face, wet, with your nose and eyes puffed up from crying, he decides that he hates it more than anything else. Makes it sick to his stomach, even. 

He cradles your cheeks, thumbs wiping away your tears. A whole hand of his could cover your face entirely, but he always, without fail, holds you delicately. 

“That’s not–” hic, “–true.” you gather your breathing, holding him by the wrists as he presses his forehead against yours. “Only I get to decide that. Not anyone, not you.” 

You kiss his lips, a small peck before nudging his nose with yours. You soothe each other this way—in the quiet, swaying to your own tune. 

“You’re good to me plenty, Satoru.” you whisper, once both of you have settled. 

He opens his eyes to look at you, smiling sadly as he cradles your face, “I didn’t mean it.” 

Whatever he told you that day, taking it all out on you.

“I know.” you mumble, nodding. 

You always do. 

.

.

.

Gojo has always loved you, in some type of way—as friends, colleagues, a-little-bit-more-but-less-than what you are today. 

But how he feels right now? It’s kinda ridiculous, borderline out-of-hand, and it’s driving him insane. 

It’s such a simple, ordinary thing for you to do: you rush up to him, phone in hand and scroll to something you saw on the internet. You’re so excited, a bounce in your step as if he’s the first and only person you want to show this to. Your eyes shine bright with a megawatt smile to match, and you’re talking so, so fast, completely lit up like fireworks in the making. 

He knows you think that he’s listening but, he couldn’t care less about it honestly. Sorry. Not when the words go in one ear and out the other because all that registers is how adorable you are, giddy and everything. 

He makes a joke—completely unrelated, but you find it so funny. Then you’re laughing, full on smacking his arm, doubled over, arms hugging your stomach, guffawing. Your feet are kicking the air as you sink deeper into your couch. Gojo’s standing in front of you, post-enactment of some impression he made, and he’s frozen in place but warm all over. 

Seeing you laugh like this, smile like this, being so pretty when you’re happy, the pounding in his chest goes crazy. 

This isn’t the first time he’s made you laugh; he does it all the time. You almost always roll your eyes and chuckle, sometimes giggle with your eyes squinting and laugh lines creasing. But it might be the first time it’s like this: with you so bright, more than the sun and every other star in the sky. 

And he thinks, this is all he could ever want—to make you happy for the rest of his life. 

There’s too much of this feeling inside of him, clawing at his throat, itching to get out. He’s filled with it, has been filled with it for so long that it’s starting to overflow and if he doesn’t say this now he might just—

“I’m so in love with you.” 

Gojo breathes it out, as if finally being able to release it after all this time. You don’t think he processes it because he just stands there, in the middle of your living room, staring at you. 

He looks so sweet, so sincere, and you see his heart, so big, so honest and pure. You get my flashbacks of every Satoru you have ever known, at 15, 17, 23, to now. Your laughter dies with maybe a little part of you too (in a good way). 

It’s not like either of you don’t know; it’s plain as day, how you feel about each other—and you would have been fine going on without ever having to hear him speak of love this way.

But hearing it now, it’s far better than anything you could have imagined. 

You stare at him. He stares at you. 

He’s shocked too. 

You don’t want to embarrass him, especially if he didn’t mean to say it, so you chuckle, moving on to break the tension. 

“I can unhear it if you want,” you offer shyly, genuinely. 

Gojo looks at you, confused, before a pout makes its way onto his face. You sit up on your couch, playing with your fingers as you look up at him.

He knows he practically blurted it out, maybe in the heat of the moment, or something, but it doesn’t make it any less true. And he’s realizing that the only thing he really wants from this—

“Though…” you continue, biting your lips, “I think I’m pretty in love with you too.” 

The little laugh you make has him, completely. 

The grin that breaks on his face is infectious. Gojo, who is normally so pale, is now pink all over—red by his ears and down his neck. There’s a sparkle in his eyes that can be found in yours too. 

This moment right here feels like first loves—teens first saying ‘I love you’. 

“You think?” he asks incredulously, joking, “So you’re not sure?” he walks closer to you. 

You laugh, candy for his cravings, and take his hand to kiss each knuckle before guiding it to your cheek. He runs a thumb across your skin, affection on his fingertips. His index finger hooks itself under your chin, tilting it to rest on his stomach as you look up at him. 

A kiss to your forehead, tenderly, gently. 

The best part about being in love? 

He gets to be in it with you. 

.

.

.

Gojo can’t sleep. 

It’s not anything new—4 hours on average, maybe 6 on a good night. He doesn’t remember a time when sleep ever came easily.

Sleeping with you, beside you, has helped, but it’s never solved the problem. You’ve gotten him to a full 8 hours before, but never consecutively, and he’s starting to think that if you can’t do it, nothing ever will. 

Your sleeping positions change every night, but they always come out as some variation of hugging. Gojo firmly believes that he might as well sleep alone if you aren’t touching. 

Tonight, you’re spooning, arm slung over his waist and palm right on his chest, fingers interlaced with his. Your legs stay tangled together with soft puffs of air blowing at the back of his neck. 

He opens his eyes and checks the clock by his bedside. 3:24 a.m. 

He sighs deeply, carefully maneuvering his body to slip away from you. You used to wake up the first few times this happened, worried about an emergency or some kind of accident. Being a sorcerer trains you for things like that. 

You’ve always known Gojo had bad sleep, just not the severity of it. 

You don’t wake up to it as much as you used to, having grown accustomed to it after more nights together, but on the off-chance that you do, Gojo always kisses your forehead gently as if to tell you that it’s okay, you can go back to sleep.

You don’t wake up now, thankfully, so he grabs his phone and heads for the kitchen. There’s a sinking feeling in his chest tonight, far heavier than others he’s woken up from. He pours himself a glass of water before hopping on the kitchen counter, ready to sort through the bowl of candy sitting on the island. 

The date today is October 31. Halloween. It’s been a few years since Shibuya but he still feels like he’s suffocating. 

In the train station. In the box.

In front of Suguru—or Kenjaku, both, whatever. 

He’s gone to therapy, just like you wanted, for the both of you, and grieving has been an interesting concept to wrap his head around since.

But no matter how much he trains his mind to deal with it, his body will always remember the feeling. 

He snaps out of it when he hears your footsteps padding on the floorboards. Your figure emerges from the hallway, bed hair and eyes still sleepy, squinting. 

“Satoru?” you rub at your eyes, his sleep shirt entirely too long as the sleeves extend past your fingertips. The extra fabric swings in the air. “You okay?” you whisper, approaching him. 

Waking you up is the last thing he could ever want right now, but it’s hard when you’re also the only one he can talk about this with. When you know what it’s like to grieve everyone too.  

He has every intention of brushing it off, of telling you to go to sleep, but one look at you—one look at him and it’s like you just know. He doesn’t even need to explain. 

It isn’t hard to piece together, knowing what today is and seeing him choked up the way he is. You tell Gojo it’s your intuition, but he has a tell, and maybe you’re the only one who knows it. 

His eyes—they’ve always given him away. There’s the Satoru you know, then a Satoru that’s far removed, gone away. You can spot it though, the moment it loses its sparkle, the moment it turns from blue to gray. 

He feels a little selfish sharing this with you; he’s not the only one who’s lost people. You have too. 

You stand in front of him and offer a sad smile, outstretching your arms as an invite, as if to tell him: you can stay here for as long as you’d like. 

He moves into your space slowly, hopping off the kitchen island to slump against you. 

He doesn’t hug you yet, not immediately, hands still shaky at the memory. You rub his back, hooking your chin on his shoulder as he bends down to rest his head by your cheek. 

You take his hand delicately, bringing them to your lips so you can kiss every fingertip gently. When you finish, he wraps his arms around you, squeezing tightly. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” you whisper, like a hushed secret. 

And he wants to, but also, there isn’t anything else to say that you don’t know already. You were there the first few times he had therapy, and when he felt comfortable enough to go alone, he told you all about it anyway right after. 

If there’s a secret to fighting him and coming out in victory, they’d only have to get to you—he’d be gone, entirely. You know too much of him, own too many parts of him already. 

He chuckles dryly, you feel it vibrating by your neck. A step back and he’s leaning against the counter, bringing you closer by the hip, thumb stroking. He tucks away strands of your hair behind your ear, flattening down the bird’s nest that it is from your sleep. 

“Nothing you haven’t heard before, pretty.”

Gojo’s been more tender lately, especially in the night when his piercing eyes turn soft, gazing. 

You pout, the same one since you were 16. You don’t know if you’ll ever get used to it, the way he calls you such sweet, honeyed things; you’ve only recently begun to call him ‘baby’ and that alone has been enough to make your head spin. 

Still, he wouldn’t be your Satoru if he didn’t surprise you. With how he is now, it’s hard to imagine a time when this was all so difficult for him, when even the slightest bit of your hands touching was challenging. 

It’s hard to imagine that both of you are here now, living in the same space, by the kitchen at night, with the contents of your hearts memorized—the sorrow, the pain, the joy, all the love, every single one. 

He kisses your nose, and that’s comfort alone. 

This is his reality now, with you, and it’s safe.

It’s good. 

“Do you want to make waffles?” he hears you mumble, running your hands over his chest, soothing.  

The clock reads 3:56 a.m. Early breakfast doesn’t sound so bad, could also be a midnight snack.

(But he knows what you’re doing). 

You don’t tell him to try to go back to sleep, never forcing anything you know he can’t do. Instead, you offer yourself to stay up with him, keep him company. Whatever he needs. 

(And he loves that about you). 

.

.

.

Gojo will forever argue that you might have fallen first, but he’s definitely fallen harder. 

He could map out every single location he’s laid his love on—your eyes, the flutter of your eyelashes, the curve of your nose, and your lips, the same ones he’s kissed and nipped, bitten until he gets his fill. 

Your neck and chest—a canvas for his desires. He glides a finger across your collarbone before lightly tapping on it thrice. 

There’s the little dip at the base of your spine and your thighs—

Oh, he could get lost in them. 

He knows. 

He has. Many times.

There’s an animal inside of him that only answers to you. 

When you kiss his neck and grip his back, soft moans by his ear—short and sweet. He’s a gone man, wholly devoted to you, and you only. 

You breathe his name out, “Satoru,” raspily, and he sinks into you—everything, all that he has spilling in the depths of you. 

How can he possibly contain all this love?

It’s scary how so much of him already belongs to you, all these years—how you’ve been carrying pieces of him, all versions of him throughout every birthday, every moment you’ve touched his life and have it irrevocably changed. 

.

“Are you happy?” he mumbles in your ear, voice deep and lazy. 

It’s the morning, sunlight barely peeking through your curtains. Gojo hugs you from behind, arms caging you as he traces little hearts on your sides. 

“Right now?” you whisper back, chuckling, “That’s not fair.” 

He nips at your ear, a small bite, before you turn to face him.

He supposes you’re right, it isn’t fair to ask that now; both your bodies are sore, well-exhausted, and littered with love. 

Gojo is pretty in the mornings just like he is all the time, his hair lends well to sunlight as much as it does to the moonlight. And his eyes—they shine a different shade during the day compared to the night. 

You though, you’re an entirely different creature of your own: a goddess in bedsheets and pillows, wrapped in immaculate white.  

You giggle when you face him, nose-to-nose, and he pulls you in tighter, grips you by the butt to slot you in right where you belong. 

Are you happy with me? 

He wonders, and you can read it—his eyes his greatest tell. You kiss him tenderly, lips moving gently against his. Then you smile, sincerely, before whispering—

“Wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”

thank you notes: to @stellamancer for being there since the very start!! col wouldn’t even exist without you!! you’re every much part of the creation of this as i am :'), to @crysugu for being so ever supportive, cheering me on all the time!! and for loving col reader as much as i do!!, to @vagabond-umlaut for being so lovely!! lifting me up when i was really nervous about this!! and to you reading this and everyone else who has loved this collection so far!!  of course!! a credit to all the writers whose works have inspired the way i view and write gojo: to @seravphs for teen dad!gojo and cruel summer influences, i draw so much of the way i understand these characters and their dynamics from you and your beautiful way of writing them and i hope my interpretation gives justice to that!!, to @augustinewrites for keeping up with the fushigojos, this series and the way you write them, with so much love, has always pushed for me to view gojo that way!! you’ve inspired so much of my understanding that gojo does believe in love and that when he falls in it, he falls in it hard!!

[iniquity-fr]

hey hi heehee. question... how on earth do u enjoy this game? maybe its just Not for me. i start projects but then they look ugly as hell to me after 3 months. ive tried lore writing, pretty dragon collecting, working with g1's. i love the dragons & concept of this site but i never look back @ my lair and go "yep. it was all worth it". it's miserable to get the stuff u need! ur ideas and outfits are very inspiring so i wanted to hear from u specifically how u make ur own fun bc DAMN is it hard!

HI SORRY for taking so long to answer this it’s been. a weird weekend. also srry for the long + public answer lmk if you want this taken down and i’ll DM screens or smth i just figured it might be helpful to other ppl too or at least maybe others can provide feedback!!! anyway uuuhhhhh the trouble w fr is you do have to Find and Make your own fun yea, and it is cool to me that there is different stuff that different ppl like to really focus on! but i imagine it can be frustrating when none of those different things quite feel like Your Thing

i think above all what has kept my FR enjoyment up the most over the years has been running this blog and being in a couple (small, not super public lol) discord servers and generally just being able to actually talk to people about FR! i hate using the forums and don’t chat people up onsite via PM or whatever, but i do have this blog to share my art and projects and characters and stuff as well as discord w some pals where we can hype each others stuff up and generally enjoy pixel dragons Together. finding a way to share what yr doing helps to enjoy doing it if that makes sense??? crafting lore and art and ocs and stuff around my dragons got a lot more fun (and i was inspired to do it more and keep doing it!) once i was actually sharing any of it (not that i still dont just keep a lot of lore locked in my head lol)

but sharing the fun still requires finding the fun aka what really feels like yr Favorite thing to do on fr itself? character creation & design is my favorite thing to do like, in general, and to make a neat character i need the dragon to be really cool and customized in such a way that inspires me and informs what kind of character they’re gonna be and where they fit into within my lore….. thus dragon dressup is my favorite part of the site, i spend a LOT of time fiddling around in the dressing room making outfits, i usually won’t even buy a dragon until i’ve at least got the beginnings of a good outfit started. i didn’t get into g1s at all until we could start dressing scries and now coming up w the perfect scry+outfit is SO satisfying to me, even if i take literal years to complete projects lol, knowing what the goal is is good enough for me to pull character and lore ideas from (and i always stick the outfit plan image+scry img in the bio so i can still always visualize it) helps also to find a couple niches or smth that you REALLY like and want to have groups of dragons w this specific kind of look or lore going on so you’re less likely to find the project ugly or boring later if that makes sense? ie i have my plague church and weird ocean cult and eldritch space monster tabs, being able to know where ur dragon fits in with your other dragons keeps ‘em interesting i think! having a loose handful of random guys w no connections can make it hard to feel like holding onto ‘em :(

so then i think it’s about making these end results (be it breeding projects or g1s or a mixed lair of whatever) feel, yknow, worth it! for me its worth it and i love to look at the finished stuff in my lair bc i then have these characters attached to them—not everyone is fully fleshed out with a gijinka design and everything yet, but i generally have an idea of their personalities and they’re always sorted into a lore faction where i know they’ll be participating in xyz activities/behaviors/etc. a lot of them do have this kind of background character syndrome atm bc of that but i still care about the end result dragon in my lair bc i CAN develop them into a character and base a design off of their genes/apparel/etc that i put all that effort into matching up perfectly. so having and completing these dragons and their outfits and gazing upon my own lair feels satisfying and Worth It to me because i like creating and this way i’ve created something / given myself this lovingly customized bunch of pixels to create with, yknow? they’re not JUST pretty dragons sitting there doing nothing, they have purpose and space in my head.

ofc that’s all just What I Like about the game personally and what’s Fun For Me and for you and other people that can or will be different !!! my hope is just that hearing What i like and How and Why helps u and anyone else to figure the same for yrself… tldr it’s about finding what you like and why and what your real end goal that keeps you feeling attached to your dragons is, and being able to actually share these things with other people somehow can be a big help! playing all by yrself with no real goals is definitely a rough experience for FR and i wish u the best of luck finding what sparks pixel dragon joy for you 🙏🙏🙏

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

14 (bodyguard AU) and 46 (blind date) sounds fun,,, your choice of ship ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥

14. Bodyguard AU || 46. Blind date

Random choice generator got me creativisleep!

~

roman's a semi-popular actor- he's never really been to an awards show, and he's not been in That much, but he had a small but strong role in a real popular film and plenty of leading ones in lesser known movies. he's got enough of a following to be satisfied with himself, even if it isn't That huge of one

because of this, roman didn't take the possible dangers of his fame seriously... until he got jumped by one fan at a play in his hometown. he came out fine (he's always fine ;p) but it made him reconsider his choice to not have some sort of protection

he ends up hiring remy to be his bodyguard, a choice he Slightly starts regretting when he realizes remy, despite having excellent marks out of bodyguard school, is about as professional as a golden retriever

they take roman's food out of his fridge Whenever, borrow Way too many of his shirts (and roman hasn't seen his BMC 'boyf riends' hoodie since they got their hands on it), and is never in typical bodyguard wear (they wore a suit for the interview and never again)

but they also bring roman coffee (when did they get his regular figured out...?), talk to him like he's just a Person and not a celeb, and have yet to try and kill him themself so. roman's alright with them staying

(plus, is it so wrong if roman enjoys how they look? he deserves for a bit of an eye-candy sorta bodyguard, damnit, they're with him all the time after all)

remy's been with roman as his bodyguard for a few months when roman decides he cant just keep Lookin at a pretty person, he deserves to have a pretty person to kiss and cuddle with too!! so he pokes around for a bit, finds a non-homophobic service (he's pan, so he could Technically use a plain ol' straight service, but he refuses on gay principle), and uses it

idk how datin apps work but this one that im makin up is a blind match up app, which takes ur information and uses it to randomly pair u up with random accounts. the app keeps account info privated until After the first date has been gone on, to really maintain the 'blind match' aspect. the matched up people play a mini guessing game through the app about places they can go for a date until location and time is determined

roman likes the idea of the app mostly to keep his own identity secret as long as possible- he doesnt want people pickin his account Just bc he's a celeb, y'know?

the first couple of blind dates dont go well tho... most are nice people who roman just isn't compatible with, one was a straight woman who spent the entire date being Very homophobic despite roman's rainbow heart + pan flag pins, and someone who was clearly Too Much Of A Fan (remy had to physically pull them off of roman and help him escape the park before they could latch back on)

oh, did roman not mention? remy's been coming on all his dates with him

because of course they are! they need to protect roman! whether that's by eating dinner in the booth over or sitting two rows back at the cinema or awkwardly half-stalkin roman and his date while they walk about

so they're always there, to bring roman there and take him home, and listen when he complains about the bad matches and lament the almost-winners, and convince him he is a catch that needs to try again because eventually Someone will realize he really is too good to pass up

(remy always says that line in a weird way)

so he keeps trying... until roman has possibly the worst date ever

because he gets stood up. it's fifteen minutes past the scheduled date time, he's gotten no text explainin where they are, but he's sittin at the restaurant alone and starting to become rather upset by the pitying look the server gives him when he says he's still waitin on someone else before he orders

remy slides into the seat across from him at the 20 minute mark. shoots roman an apologetic smile that an outsider would mistake as a 'sorry im late' one when roman knows it's a 'sorry they didnt show' one

roman appreciates the gesture to save him, but he almost just wants to go home at this point. he's tired and bein stood up feels like Shit, actually, and he's about ready to call off the whole dating thing really, dramatic as that may be (like it's not his middle name)

but remy says smth about this place having really good sandwiches, and it's clear they're tryin so hard to help roman out here, even a little, and roman can't just dismiss that effort, so he picks up his menu again and orders smth and tries to ignore the way his face heats up just the slightest at the relieved smile remy flashes next

lunch with remy is great, actually, better than it would've been with whoever couldnt be bothered to show or apologize or Anything. remy even knows the way to an ice cream shop on the way home, sayin it's for roman's 'broken heart' as they pay for it

except, well... roman's heart isn't feelin so broken anymore

it's actually feeling pretty put together. really functional. functioning really fast. especially when roman's looking at remy. or when remy's lookin at roman. or when they smile. or when they laugh. or when they speak. or when they-

roman doesn't fall asleep until 2am that night, heart still racing a bit, screaming into his pillow a bit as he acknowledges he is wholly and totally head-over-heels for his bodyguard

he tells remy the next day he's done with dating for a bit, saying he's still upset over being stood up. he doesn't mention that it's also bc remy's ruined all other people for him

things try to fall back in routine from there, but it's a bit harder when roman's trying to not be so in love with someone who just works for him. and remy's definitely started pickin up on it too- they had asked him just last if he was okay, that he didn't seem as upset by remy takin his clothes anymore, and that didn't seem like him, was he getting sick?

the opposite, actually, absolutely nothing makes me feel better then seeing you walk around in my shirt or jacket or whatever else, please never stop and also kiss me?

roman just said he was tired

eventually... roman decides this can't keep going on. remy's giving him more weird looks these days, and roman is pretty sure being around remy so much without Any kisses is starting to cause brain decay (it's not, it's really not, remy always bein on his mind is just a side effect of.... pretti........). so, he takes matters into his own hands

admittedly, maybe firing remy wasn't the best way to go, given remy immediately demands to know why, what they did wrong, even asking if roman's being blackmailed into this

"blink once for yes, twice for no" remy asks, lowering the sunglasses they always have on to look directly at roman's eyes

roman doesn't blink for a full minute. he might not be breathing for that minute either. has he ever seen remy's eyes this close? has he ever seen them at all? they're such a brilliant shade of brown. roman could drown in them. he might be already

roman's pretty sure he started this conversation standing up, but maybe not, because when he finally blinks and remembers things outside of remy's eyes exist he's sitting down and remy looks extremely concerned

"okay... what's wrong, hun?" they ask, and oh no, they look so sad, and worried, and that's not good, roman should fix that right now, regardless of whatever he was doing before (he's forgotten)

"im gay" he responds intelligently. this will fix everything

remy, however, just looks confused. "yes?"

"for you" roman adds, helpfully, sure that Now remy will understand they're just really very pretty and nothing's wrong and if they feel bad still they should look in a mirror because then they'll be good again

now it's remy's turn to sit in silence, expression frozen in one of shock. they still havent put their sunglasses back on, so roman doesnt mind, bc this gives him more time to stare at remy's eyes

"you're having a breakdown because you're gay for me???" remy finally asks, expression unfreezing to look incredulous and a little hurt

roman returns a similar look. "im not having a breakdown!"

remy scoffs. "yeah, sure, right, that's why you suddenly froze and completely stopped breathing and minorly collapsed after i... look off my shades to look at you..." they suddenly break out in a smirk. "oh my gods, you're a gay disaster"

roman doesn't try to deny it, especially with the knowledge he apparently did stop breathing to admire remy's eyes. they have a point

"how long?"

"since that date you hijacked after i got stood up" roman admits. he finds it extraordinarily rude when remy starts laughing

...until they're pulling out their phone, hurriedly opening up the exact same dating app roman had been using, showing a log of all the dates they had planned- there's only one marked as having actually been attended

same date time and place of the one where roman had assumed he had been stood up

"you broke my heart!" roman says as remy puts away their phone, over-dramatically, not actually giving a damn, just feeling gay and a bit giddy at the thought remy hadnt gone to any of the other dates, just theirs

no longer worried quite as much about roman for the moment, remy's smirk just grows, smoothly moving from being crouched in front of roman to being set firmly in his lap, lazily brushing hair out of his eyes and wow was remy always this warm? and stunning? and perfect?

"i dunno babe... sounds more like i stole it" remy teases, movin from playing with roman's hair to cuppin his cheek, leaning in close and not even bothering to pretend to be looking at anything other than roman's lips. "which, yeah, bad bodyguard etiquette... i hope you can forgive me..."

roman doesn't need his words to answer that tease

[haknew]

ah, thank you for sharing them 🥺 yeah i agree with you, at first i was considering not getting it since i wasn’t really a huge stan at the time, like i liked hak from pd101, and i swore to support him after he didn’t make it to final lineup. then kevin was the most relatable guy ever and i loved seeing his vids too + his talent?? like bro can not only dance and sing and do stuff like other stars but is so good at art?? i love his style; for fonts i adore it! it’s not like i don’t have the money, not super rich or whatever but i have a good about of saving from allowances and those lovely envelopes when i met family at special occasions but i’d rather invest it somewhere much more useful to me (practically speaking!) as for cobie, at the time i pulled him i was neutral about every other tbz member so i was just happy getting anyone! but in reveal era i got invested into them a lot more, and since i bias him now too i’m satisfied i pulled him back then hehe the customised ones look so so pretty i can get why you’d love to have them somewhere you can see clearly! also that little letter for hak on his bday 💞 it’s so well done and even though i don’t vibe much with these kind of journals/edits i really, really love this one! i feel like you’ve got so much kevin lol it’s good to see you kept such good care of them all, and no problem if they’re not aesthetic photos, i asked and you delivered which is what matters! i loved reading your thoughts and thank you for reminding me that being a fan doesn’t = having countless albums and pcs! i myself am someone who can write a whole story’s length when talking to people about things i’m passionate for so you’re good haha thank you once again, it was really nice seeing what you have and what you have to say about it all! i hope you have more opportunities to collect some stuff in the future if you’d still be doing it, otherwise like you said, a hobby should remain a hobby and not transform into a chore! so if you’re going to stop then you’re still no less of a haknewkevtbz stan❣️hope you’re having/will have a splendid day!

my reply is so long again i’m so sorry lmao under the cut for everyone’s sake jkdhdkfj 

i get that ;;;; i think for the longest time i didn’t want to buy albums, and that’s perfectly fine ! it really depends on the person ! in a practical sense it might not be the best spending decision if you’re not going to use the album etc. ^^ i think i eventually ended up doing so bc for me ? at least i tie albums / songs to memories or feelings in my life so having a physical ? copy of it is kind of like a souvenir of that time ^^ a sort of memory keeper :p kinda cheesy of me but it’s also why i’m having issues when it comes to thinking about selling anything >.< but yea it was just to have smth and support my favs :] so i get it ! you’re super valid ! and yea >.< that’s fair too :o if you don’t have too many extra funds makes sense you’d want to spend it on stuff you reeeeeally really want / need ! (also special envelopes ? o.o like red envelopes ?) also yes yes hakkev deserve the world :’)) that worked out so nicely for you tho then :o ! very glad you got to pull your bias ^~^ deserve cobi best bb u.u he is very precious ! 

andddd yea :o i h8 the idea of my pcs just collecting dust in my binder hhh ;;; so i try my best to put some on display ! makes me happie to see ^^ and ahhhh ! that journal spread ! i have a lil aes ig account where i post pics and i made that spread for haknyeon day to post (and tbh ! i suck at journal spreads and that was my first legitimate one ? and i think it turned out okay so i was very happy with it) ! it’s just a short letter haha :p i have too many stationery things from impulse purchases so it’s good to use it for something fun like that ^u^ 

djfhskjfhg okay in my defense ... i think i’ve pulled ... 5 ?!? kevin pcs from my albums T^T WHICH IS CRAZY bc i bias the guy fgdskjfhg h8 it here (but not really i love him for that ...) yea in my no air albums i pulled his pc and film and in dreamlike i pulled his day pc and in my chase albums i pulled threeeee of his pcs </3 truly he is obsessed x.x jdkfdj no but ! i think it’s bc of that ;;;; and i actually believe i have one more hak pc than kev pcs ;;;; but idk haven’t counted them HAHA so yea ;;;; i got really lucky and kev l*ves me or smth ;;;;; they are v precious to me :D so yea i try my best to keep them safe ^^ there’s a lot of collectors on yt that make videos about the best way to keep pcs so i’ve seen a lot of those too :o !

but yea this turned out super long again i’m sorry T-T ! glad you enjoyed reading that mess tho ;-;/ thank you for doing so ! but yea my attitude towards stanning is just ;;;; everyone has their own styles if you don’t want to buy albums you don’t have to ! it doesn’t make you any less of a fan nor does it mean you love / support them any less ! it’s just you support them in your own way ! and so people who do spend a bunch of money to get everything ? they’re valid ! and people who don’t ? they’re also still valid ^~^ ! hobbies are just that so u.u and thenk you thenk you T-T ! i think i’m in essence done (minus one chanhee pc i want lol) so we’ll see what the future brings haha :p i hope you have a wonderful week too ! <3 

[yn6k]

hi shine! i wanted to know your thoughts about the book of us: gravity album? any personal favorites? least favorites?

sorry this is so late! i wanted to take my time to answer it because i do have a lot of thoughtsTM hahaha more (like a LOT more) under the cut :) 

so on first listen of the album, or honestly even just from the album spoiler haha, my ears instantly focused in on cover and how to love! so i’ll probably have the most to say about those songs + time of our life since ive listened to them the most!!for me: love how its in compound meter! always love me a good 12/8 or 6/8 or whatever it is haha its felt in three basically lskj i dont have a lot to say about this song? i think the focus is more on the lyrics? but musically i cant really identify anything that really sticks out to me alkdj like typical poprock i really dont know what to say maybe theres more interesting things going on underneath that im terrible at picking out (like in the chord progressions) fav part is def the prechorus^^time of our life: its so weird talking about this now bc ive gotten so used to the song that lkj some of what im saying (like the changes i would have done) feels /wrong/ but ahaha still here are some of my thoughts^^ FIRST OF ALL WONPILS PIANO SOLO >>>>> i just really love listening to it and i think an underrated part of his solo is the i think synth drums underneath them and how it creates this driving motion for the song and so like even tho the song starts kind of bare we can go straight into that hype instrumental intro instead of like having only his solo be the intro and going straight into the more mellower verse or smth along those lines? hahaha i think on first listen the first thing that stood out to me was how the chorus sounded like an extension of the verse?  like the chorus wasnt very obvious and im not sure why in terms of like chord progression music theory, but in terms of instrumentation i think one of the reasons is because that driving quarter note drum thing we get in the chorus only resolves in the second half of the chorus instead of sometime in the first half of it. so it almost gives off this sense that we might be building up to something greater but we arent? really like all of this energy from the drums piling up for seemingly no reason and also the effect that it has on really accentuating the opening lines of the chorus dissipates imo the longer that drum rhythm plays out. like the whole “a page of beautiful youth” part that opens the chorus is mostly all quarter notes and i love how we have the quarter notes within the actual drum line to back that up but then two things after that happen: 1) we get i guess a reiteration of the opening melody in the chorus with the “let’s write it together” which i feel like having the drumming driving with those same quarter notes underneath it makes the intro of the chorus feel a bit less special and memorable? and 2) and after that line plays out, the melody becomes a bit more loose in in terms of its rhythm (the ‘i want to fill it with our memories’ part) the melody doesnt have those same impactful quarter notes anymore, but u still have the drum playing it so its kind of? like a why? at that point like i personally feel it takes away from the support it gives to the earlier melody that was obviously more driving quarter notes. i kind of wish that driving forward motion in the drumline was resolved within the third measure of the chorus with like a singular drum hit into the release (like going from here to something like here but with a drum hit in between as a transition or smth? hard to explain lks i actually had a made a video a while back kind of experimenting with the sound but idk how to upload it to here) but!! i am a fan of having those driving quarter notes coming out of the bridge i love the usage of it there and would not change a thing! i think it fits because we are actually building up to that release in the instrumental, it feels a lot different than the chorus which just feels like it drags on for a bit too long. but i would also would have liked if we had a bit of an instrumental pause or something like right after sungjin says ‘dont worry about a thing’ like after that ‘ma’ a brief pause or like even the omission of the downbeat that the drum is giving like /something/ missing before we get back into him singing ‘leave everything to me’ idk i feel like that change would have been interesting and way to build up tension again in a way?? anyways to circle back to my original point about the chorus feeling like an extension of the verse..i lowkey feel like maybe day6 felt that a bit too? laksdj and thats why we got that drum intermission bw the end of the prechorus and the start of the chorus but thats just a theory idk how true it is like honestly to me it felt slightly out of place and kind of a random transition? i dunno i could be wronghere are some misc. things not in too much detail since i think talking about one song has already gotten too long alksdj but sungjins part in the prechorus i think could have been sung a bit /gentler/ than his usual throaty approach for day6 songs idk. love the vocal layering in the chorus! maybe my headphones are terrible and maybe im biased (a bit of both or neither who knows) but laksdj i kinda wish youngks bass part was a tad bit louder he has some cool parts that often get overshadowed by the electric guitars + vocals i think (like here! the sound is so tiny in the studio i wish they had brought it out a bit more because when it is brought out it like here sounds gorgeous…that sound actually might be a bit overpowering actually haha but some happy balance bw those two). also totally random but i love the way jae says ‘한 페이지’ its just satisfying to listen to like he slurs the words a bit? whereas sungjin in his part is more staccato and lkj i think i prefer the legato connection of the words to the staccato one. also thank god they brought back the piano solo for the bridge laksjhow to love: SHE!! was a favorite/look out for since the album spoiler and she did not disappoint. wonpil said it was motown influenced? love that for them;; the chord progressions are funky and fun to listen out for! love how we get a bit of instrumental differences between the first and second reiteration of the first part of the verse?  (the introduction of this electric guitar kind of in ur left ear if ur wearing head phones thats not there initially but then also this part in the electric guitar in the right ear which isnt there also again in the first reiteration just to keep it different and not redundant! i love the prechorus, introduction of strings for chorus stellar (but im strings biased) but its just so fun to follow how its similar and different to the vocal melody also whats a day6 song without some sort of chanting! love how the rhythm in the melody follows the drum part into the chorus all three times that it happens! the bridge is funky love it haha and also just love how at the end they switch up the ‘cause im ready’ and have sungjin jae and wonpil each sing one of those and then have youngk end with the ‘ooooh’ i thought that was adorable. ok keeping it short thats all i’ll saywanna go back: not to be a svt stan but holiday is that you? hahah jkjk its just a similar genre its like holiday meets maroon 5 haha i actually enjoy a lot of the song the chord progressions in the verses are interesting but also the prechorus is really pretty sounding but lakjd i honestly wish the tempo was just a little bit faster in the chorus i feel like its dragging a bit its hard for me personally to stay engaged with the song because of the murky feeling i personally get from the chorus. also the transition into the second verse is kinda ?? idk ahahaha but yeah main thing is just i wish the tempo was even just the tiniest bit faster for the chorus specifically i feel like verses are fine but just the chorus could have afforded to been a bit faster…but maybe this is just a personal experience cover: this is my personal favorite from the album! musically i just love the sound of the chord progressions in the verses? also the chorus! she! the vocal melody how it goes down but then u hear that piano in the background go up *chefs kiss* art! and i love the changes in the instrumental they introduced for the second verse! they added the bass i believe as well as another electric guitar part that isnt that muted plucking thing that we got in the first verse! AND THEN THE BRIDGE!!!!!!! THAT!!! IS!! A!! BRIDGE!!!! its so stunning and incredibly climatic and beautifully executed!!! i believe thats the first time the drums proper actually come in can you believe it (there are percussion sounds before but i think its a tambourine + a shaker/maraca? essentially not the drumset);; the tension that just the introduction of drums really brings to the piece ahhh and also the chord progressions really take u for a ride the first time u hear it and u dont know what to expect;; and then we get out of the chorus with ‘because im weak and not cool’ as a deviance from the earlier lyrics of ‘my weak and not cool side’ then DRUMTRIPLET!!!!! LAST CHORUS!! MORE DRUM TRIPLETS!! so wonderful the pOWER really the whole song is a huge crescendo ?? kind of influenced by the fact that they keep layering instruments which i absolutely LOVE like its beautiful haha but then the last chorus is just the quickest decrescendo ever as a way to fade out from the song but now with all the instruments (love how the last line really like enforces its importance and lyrical difference from the earlier ‘in the end i was seen’ by having that drum just punch it into u with every hit of the bass drum haha) also like how its not a true circular ending (but it kinda is) like there are instrumental and lyrical differences from the start and the end one thing i kind of wished they experimented with was like maybe mixing up some members voices in the chorus? like i tried a youngpil one myself haha where wonpil sings this part, then youngk, wonpil, youngk (again i hve a video for this but idunno how to upload to this ask) but its not like the song to me suffered from having singular member choruses i just thought it might be kinda cool haha anywhos im biased i love this song and laksj didnt even go into the lyrics rip anyways moving onbest part: i think its really cute that they composed this to be specifically be enjoyed in concert! i really like the best paaaaaaaaa aaaart like that swoop they do and the layering of the vocals i also think its super cool how some of the instrumental drop out towards the end of the chorus but alskj another ‘wanna go back’ transition into the second verse are they experimenting with this transition or smth?? but it just feels like inserted bc they couldnt think of a better way to transition into second verse which?? just kind of awkward akjl idk but maybe they have a reason for it i dont know! but yeah haha again musically im not really sure what to say kinda like for me it just feels like standard pop rock which isnt a bad thing just a /thing/ ahaha 

[evakuality]

(1/7) Hello! I’m the anon who wanted you to share the rest of your thoughts on s5. Thanks, I love to read your meta :) So my main issue about s5 is nora/josh relationship. I don’t like how they were handled all in all in this season. Firstly I want to declare that I love mazzouk they are adorable and davenzi are absolutely special for me (‘cause this platform is quickly to judge ppl for racism). So. For me nora/josh is the weakest couple of the show so far.

(2/7) It was such a disappointment for me ‘cause Druck was always so good in creating romance! If I trusted druck in smth for 100% it was definitely the love story. Wow, I liked all the druck couples (not equally though but I liked them all). They even made their noorhelm likeable. And I swear I hate every other version of this couple. I think the main key to make relationship believable on screen is communication.

I’m putting this behind a break because we both got quite lengthy here!

(3/7) I may not know what the couple is talking about but I have to see them communicating and getting to know each other. And I think the first global thing I don’t like in nora/josh relationship is the lack of communication. They met ONLY TWO times before the First Big Kiss (fridays of ep 3 & 4) and had only one qualitative talk (friday ep4/saturday ep5). Then nora rather quickly begin to not feel.

Before the friday of ep3 nora had no idea who the «mystery guy» was and she didn’t consider josh as somebody special. (4/7) When did she fall in love? Idk. I understand s5 had a little space for romance because the main topic is nora’s mental health, and other big topics (machwitz sisters and mom, becoming friends with cashqueens) also require screen time. But why on earth the writers made josh so emotionally dependent on nora??

(5/7) I hate how his line "hurt me please it’s way worse without u" was framed as smth sweet and romantic. Because it is not. It’s unhealthy and even terrifying :/ And I want to point out once again they didn’t communicate much. They literally know each other so little (sidenote: nora even had no idea what to draw on his hoodie), why josh after so little time is so unhealthy attached to nora?

(6/7) Maybe without this I could accept them as a couple and make my peace with them ‘cause they’re cute and actors have chemistry. I hoped they would work on their issues separately, get to know each other properly and maybe in later seasons reunite. What a huge disappointment the end of s5 was :// I like you are not so happy with their reunion too. Excluding the love story I really enjoyed the season, ofc it has flaws but not as big as this one.

(7/7) Machwitz sisters were also my favorite part. Sorry for my English. And i understand if u won’t post my message, it’s ok :) I don’t want u to deal with angry anons. Have a good day :)

Thank you for this, anon!  I was hoping I’d hear back from you about your thoughts.  While I didn’t sort of put this all together while I was watching (since I did it in such a wide space of time) I do agree with a whole lot of what you’re saying.  I think for me it’s a combination of pacing (I am really stuck on the pacing of the whole season actually) and trying to do two things with this relationship.

What I mean by that second part (because I have ranted about the pacing way too much already haha), is that the show needed to show two things with Nora’s relationship: 1, that she was trying to use Josh to ‘feel’ something and kind of idealised what being in a relationship might be like as a way to take away the pain she was feeling from other things, and that her mental illness was sort of mirrored in her relationship, and 2) that they thought they had to have a ‘good’ ending to the relationship.  Which baffles me a little because the Hanna/Jonas relationship shows really clearly how this can be tackled and also that a character not ending their season in a romance isn’t a bad thing, and can be really important for their growth.

So anyway, imo they did a far better job of showing just how destructive this relationship was for both of them (your comments about how Josh wanted to be hurt show this) and how important it is to work on yourself and put yourself first in a situation like Nora’s.  It’s quite clearly not good for either of them, and that scene in Josh’s room when she’s so weird really hammers home how with all the will in the world and even with the ‘right’ person, a relationship isn’t going to work if you feel like you have to pretend to have interest in your partner’s passions.  Of course, this may be a hangover from Constantin’s efforts with her, but again we don’t know what that was like because we’re never really told, and so it just looks like Nora is being cold and aloof.  Now, of course, we are absolutely aware that Nora does like Josh and this is all to do with the mental illness that’s taking her over.  And yet... it does show that this is not the right time for this relationship.  And also, in his shoes, I’m not sure what I’d do with a girlfriend who’s acting like this, as if he’s a bit of a nuisance.

I understand what you’re saying about the communication, but I think we’re supposed to read into the length of time they spent together at certain times as a time when they were learning about each other.  But I do think it’s better to see that on screen at least more consistently.  But that all ties into the way I feel about this being something Nora kind of rushed into because she was already starting to feel off when she met him.  The way she kissed him first to try to deal with other issues really shows just how much she isn’t ready to be with someone for real.  That real/fake thing she had going on the whole season really leans into this part.

I stand by my comments about her deciding to be alone being more mature and healthy and that I really, truly wish that had been where they left it.  They’re a cute couple, she was getting to know him and he’s definitely a better fit than Constantin.  But his desire to ‘be hurt’ isn’t good, and putting them back together so soon was a mistake imo.  He needs to also figure out why he’s so willing to give up so much of himself to be with her.  We still don’t really see her actively enjoying his interests, and so we still don’t know how good a partner she is for him.  And he tried to be a good partner to her, but his efforts were all things that worked for him without any real understanding of who she is and what she needs.  So again, there’s a lack of proper connection and development there.

In my ideal Nora and Josh world, we’d have seen her trying out the relationship as a way to feel something and to salve the stuff with her family, as she does in the show, but we would have known much more clearly that it’s very unhealthy and that it’s not good for either of them.  We would see his desire to be with her at any cost to himself as something he needs to work on and we’d leave the end of this season with them split up, but knowing they do both enjoy each other and being open to something later on when they’re both ready to have something.  Because imo where it stands the same issues and problems are there.  Saying ‘we’ll take it a minute at a time’ doesn’t work if they haven’t each figured out who they are and what they need from a relationship.

So ideally, because I do like them and I do think they’re nicely matched, I’d like to have seen a Josh season a few months down the line where we see him working on those issues and we see him slowly working out that his needs are also important and then we’d see them coming back together.  We’d see them being more open and vulnerable and learning each other truly.  Instead we got this rushed ending that I didn’t find satisfying.  And that’s still my biggest beef with a lot of stuff this season - it’s too rushed in the end.  It all needed more space to breathe, and in this case they needed more space to learn about each other before getting properly together.

[starrysamu]

ur so sweet omg ;-; i mean i always figured cus i like reading your responses to even other asks LOL I ALSO THINK IT'S REALLY CUTE WHEN YOU GO ): CUS IM JUST IMAGINING YOU POUTING dkjfdsljf !!! Oh I get what you're saying!! Well, I'm glad you're find it indulgent :3c BUT DON'T FORCE YOURSELF because that's never good! take ur time so u can write to the best of your abilities and not have any regrets or uh yeah LMAO (1/2)⭐️

+ I JUST READ IT BTW. WELL I READ IT EARLIER BUT ); why'd u hurt us like that ;-; also lol it's funny you say that u try to use fics as a treat but sleep instead cus i was also supposed to read this last night but i just knocked out instead asjddjflasjf !!! omg i listen to a lot of indie/alt pop too!! i'd probably say roughly the same for other genres too!! and ooooooooooo i'll def check her out and bryce vine!! (2/2) ⭐️

THAT’S SO CUTE PLEASE ..... I JUST LIKE TO TALK A LOT ..... and okay actually the frowny face is actually me just happy frowning which i guess the word would be pouting yes u might be correct ........... not me not knowing how to describe it before when people would ask me why im frowning for no reason im just ))): 

yes agreed!!! i hope you feel the same about your writing too! imo it’s a lot more noticeable when you enjoy what ur doing or just putting something out for the sake of putting smth out too 

HHHH YEAH IDK I HAD VERY DIFFERENT INTENTIONS WITH THAT LAST CH NGL ...... like it was not supposed to be like that at all actually but i scrapped whatever i had before bc i was like this ain’t feel right. idk i have mixed feelings on it rn but im working on the last ch a little earlier in hopes that i’ll be satisfied with it by the time it goes up 

and ok mood i just feel like ... sleeping is nice. and it’s good. reading fics is also nice and good but sometimes my body just cannot do the thing my eyes cannot stay open uughjfhdhh

and omg yes if u see this again ..... and if u happened to listen to them, let me know what u think!!! i hope ur having a good day/night and that you’re taking care of urself while school goes on!!! 

[seokjins]

could you maybe talk a bit about the dna choreo? if you want to? i love it when you talk about the choreos. my favourite posts on this tumblr honestly

fuck yes i’m so ready for it. and thank U for saying that u love my dance stuff :*(((

overall, i was highly impressed by mr. son’s choreography. this is the definition of “smart movement” (i’ll discuss more in depth later) and bts stepped up their game when it came to dancing.

most improvement: SEOKJIN, yoongimost underwhelming: TAEHYUNG, namjoon (nj needs diff corrections)honorable mention to jung hoseok for having the best “floor slide” & keeping stable ankles while getting up. he was also the only one to straighten his knees for the kick at the end (3:31)

the best part of this piece are easily the transitions. the movement between complicated group positions aren’t just “walking to the next spot”, but steps w intention. good choreo makes it seem like the corps shifts so naturally that the next thing the audience registers is a new formationwhile i wasn’t a big fan of the “solo” sections bc i had to skip thru them endlessly lol, i thought the way that mr. son dealt w members popping in and out of the wings/stage was A+the BIG, noticeable transitions stood out positively. they were unexpected but???? also really Smart at the same time. members change into center position with no hassle + the steps were clean. seamless transitions were invented bc of this piece tbh1:05 - the wedge formation backing up easily into the open “V” 1:19 - notice how jungkook’s “solo” moment is incorporated into the corps (group) part & doesn’t draw attention to it2:05 - this is called moving w/o moving2:16 - THIS IS THE BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE PIECE THE CIRCULAR ROTATION W NOBODY OUT OF PLACE THAT SETTLES RIGHT INTO THEIR NEXT POSITION BY TRAVELING DURING THE JUMP WHAT THE FUCK VISUALLY IT LOOKS SO APPEALING AND CHOREOGRAPHICALLY IT’S EVEN MORE APPEALING THIS JUST IN MR. SON IS A FUCKING GENIUS bye2:33 - hoseok from center to jk in center and then straight into the DNA part

getting to the actual steps of the dance, DNA has tons of quick footwork, especially during the chorus. what i love about mr. son is that he’s an incredibly musical choreographer, and i’m always able to pick out his piece from BTS’ repertoire. he has a style that i have a predilection for lolhe likes to “catch the beat”, per se, especially with the lower body. he initiates movement according to musical cues, and this makes it easy to point out to non-dancers. when there’s a prominent Noise in the song, mr. son is likely to have a movement that physically represents it. it’s like being able to see the music thru the choreo & it’s so Wow every time (MIC DROP esp)0:56 - catch the tail end of taekook’s duet0:58 - the whole chorus in general 1:12 - no beats R missed w the fast ass choreo lmao mr. son really out there repping 4 us dancers huh

G R O U P W O R K AND SEPARATIONK SO U KNOW HOW I SAID LIKE ONE PARAGRAPH AGO HOW IM ABLE TO TELL MR. SON’S PIECES APART FROM OTHER’S??? THIS IS ANOTHER REASON WHYHE BREAKS APART GROUP FORMATIONS SO PRECISELY … SO SATISFYINGLY… THE WAY THAT THERE’S VARIATION IN LEVELS/MOVEMENT/STEPS THAT DRAW THE CORPS 2GETHER AS A WHOLE AND ADDS A WHOLE DIFFERENT DIMENSION THAN SIMPLE N UGLY “SYNCHRONIZED CHOREOGRAPHY”. IT DRAWS ATTENTION AND IS FUCKING FLAWLESS IM ZOOMING. I NUT IN 3 LANGUAGES WHENEVER I C THAT SHIT IN KPOP AND U KNOW !!! IT !!!!1:07 - notice how ONLY jimin does the three “punches” in the air. the rest of the V passes it on in canon/alternation . it adds versatility w/o drawing attention away from the soloist + is way more interesting than everyone doing the same move1:48 - kkkkkk it’s so cute that namseok pop out of the line idk why. it’s so satisfying to watch2:10 - a burst outward w energy, but all members are doing smth different which gives it a factor of interest2:14 - THE BEST PART OFTHIS WHOLE PIECE YAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS EXACTLY LIKE BST THEY’RE PUTTING LEVELS INTO THE FORMATION AND ALL THIS CRAZY SHIT WHILE CHANGING POSITIONS ON THE BEAT IDK IT’S SO MUCH™ IM DEAD ON THE FLOOR THANSK MR. SON FOR MY LIFE THO

to recap:

while there were sections i wasn’t a fan of, mr. son ONCE AGAIN delivered another banger bob popper and dropper w DNA. he incorporated seamless transitions, clean steps, fast footwork, musical choreography, and smart movement!!!!! no steps were minced or useless (on the most part), and the high-energy matched the mood of the song. i one day hope that bts will be able to perform it w/o being fucking exhausted so they’re able to smile they’re way thru it & actually enjoy the dance

[monbabi]

monsta x and sleeping

shownu

• just likes having u with him • adores the feeling of ur skin against his and the weight of u being next to him or even on top of him • even on hot summer nights he’ll drape an arm over u and kiss u on the forehead • he’d tap his chest and u would know instantly to jump on him and cuddle it up • hes like a human heater • great for the winter, get one for $39.99 • “hyunwoo its hot get off” • “but its gonna get cold later in the night” • “im sweating hyunwoo” • “so am i wow we’re such a good couple” • he enjoys the peacefulness of the evening when its just u two and the moon • if u fall asleep first, he’ll smile and stroke ur hair so gently bc he doesnt wanna wake u up • if the blanket slips off he’ll always make sure to tuck u back in • esp if he wakes up in the middle of the night and sees the blanket astray • if he falls asleep first well u might as well be sleeping next to a corpse • a very • cute • corpse

wonho

• LOVES and i mean LOVES to wrap his arms around u • will actually pout and whine if u push him off or finds u outside his grasp in the middle of the night • if ur laying next to him he turns his head and kisses u anywhere on the face at the randomest times • u jus burped? smooch on the temple • telling him abt the man who flicked a booger off the bus? smooches the top of ur head and a look of disgust • taps his fingers on ur waist • likes to sleep with u facing him and he cups ur face and with ur cheeks in his hands he smiles and wholeheartedly tells u he loves u • always without fail says good night to u before he falls asleep regardless whether u hear him or not • when u fall asleep first he stares at u lovingly w tht cute cat smile of his • hes so infactuated • “how did i get so lucky to be able to sleep next to this angel” • brushes ur hair out of ur face when it falls over eyes • probably takes pictures to treasure this time • ur forever gonna be his homescreen • he laughs to himself when u drool or let out a snore • “cute”

minhyuk

• okay listen to me • he wont leave u the fuck alone • even if u want him to he just. wont • will literally cling to u like wrap his arms and legs around u • likes to nuzzle his head in the crook of ur neck • indulges himself in little smirks when ur shirt collar slips a bit or ur shirt rides up exposing ur midriff • also a fan of kissing ur face often just because • likes to be big spoon bc he likes the thought of being the protector and guardian of ur sleeping frame • will rant to u abt everything while laying in bed and he expects u to do the same bc he wants u and him to be as open as possible to each other • “its jus so frustrating!!! why are there so many snubbulls in this neighborhood!!!” • “so u wanna get anything off ur chest (y/n)?” • a really good listener hes receptive and will always give u good advice • not a light sleeper but if u leave the bed he’ll definitely wake up and wait til u come back • talks a lot about the past while running his hands along ur arms and u can feel his breath tickle ur neck and eventually u both fall asleep

kihyun

• he lays on his side, propping himself up on one arm and talks to u. about everything • u two have a lot of fun bc the conversation diverges a lot and the night is filled with high pitched giggles and playful tickles • really likes ur hands. is 100% for sleeping while holding hands • blows into ur ear just to mess with u and make u flustered • it works • hes so fuckin amused by ur reactions • u two sleep facing each other, with one of his hands holding urs and the other arm over ur torso, stroking ur back • he watches u while u sleep • okay that sounds creepy but he really does • hes mesmerized by the rise and fall of ur chest and how soft ur breaths come out and how ur mouth is left slightly agape and how ur eyelashes contrast against ur skin • he’s lulled to sleep, watching u relaxes him • sings u to sleep regardless whether u ask him or not • always takes requests tho • “kihyun can u sing me smth?” • “of course baby what would u like me to sing?” • “darude sandstorm” • “i fucking hate u” • “please” • kihyun: takes a deep breath “doodoodoodoo doo doodoo doo-”

hyungwon

• not super into skinship esp when sleeping • but not against a little snuggling every now and then • esp on cold nights he likes it when u cling to him like a koala • but most nights he’s content with simply sleeping next to u but not connected to the hip u know • endless giggling if u start sleeptalking • he finds it hilarious and so incredibly endearing u dont even know • sometimes gets so tired he doesnt even change out of the clothes he wore during the day • u come home late and u see hyungwon curled up on the bed in a hoodie and jeans and ur like ??? • sleeps with socks on • u think its weird but he gets cold easily so he’ll endure any teasing he gets from u • his voice gets really deep and husky when hes half asleep • and its cute when ur having late night talks and he’s just mumbling his responses and u run ur fingers through his hair and kiss his forehead • “hey hyungwon” • “mm?” • “do u remember how we met?” • “well it was sunny and mnndjsgkf….,.,,.,…i saw mmmnnjnc…,…and u were there,,..,,,,,,” • go to sleep babe"

jooheon

• will snuggle u to death • u could be layin on the bed chilling and he would walk into the room, give u that beautiful dimply smile, and jump on u • he hugs u so tightly bc he just loves holding u • its comforting to him • after a rough day he just wants to curl up in bed and hold u in his arms • like minhyuk u guys talk about ur day and ur problems a lot late at night • “ive been composing all day and scrapped so many beats and in the end i dont even like the the beats i kept” • “its okay honey ur such a talented person u’ll create something ur satisfied with i’ll listen to it if u want opinions!!” • “thanks baby ur the best” • alternates between big spoon and little spoon • secretly likes being little spoon more bc he can hold ur hands as they wrap around his waist and he likes the feeling of ur head against his body • likes kissing u on the cheek and u kiss him back right on his dimple • will quietly sing u to sleep if u ask • keeps his hand on ur butt bc he just feels like its a nice place to settle • gives u a little squeeze once in a while to mess with u or wake u up if ur falling asleep • he thinks its the cutest thing when u babble in ur sleep and records u to watch another day

changkyun

• likes to sleep facing u • strokes ur hair and kisses the top of ur head • if u have any moles on ur face he will definitely kiss each and every one of them • tries to do asmr for u • really just whispering “noot noot” in ur ear • gives a lot of little chuckles bc he’s so enamored with u • ur just this beautiful bundle of joy in his arms and ur all his he loves that • u guys talk about the future, all ur fears and excitement and hopes • whenever u talk he looks into ur eyes and nods intently, taking in every single breath u take and word u speak • he’ll probably gently bite u in the neck for fun when its quiet • “changkyun pls” • “its not my fault ur tasty” • “good night changkyun” • if u fall asleep first he’ll use it as an opportunity to gaze upon u and memorize ur facial features • as if u were going to go missing in the morning, he stores the image of ur face in his memory • he sighs, giving ur hair a light stroke • touching noses and sharing smiles • and slowly he falls asleep