#this is the year of tomato experimentation

[kariachi]

Anyway I’m getting a random assortment of heirloom tomato seeds along with three different varieties of cherry tomato and have every intention of growing 10-11 plants this year with any luck.

[texas-gothic]

Dracula Daily Prep: Gather Your Paprikash!

It's that time of year again. Even as we speak, Jonathan Harker has departed for Transylvania, and the unhallowed halls of Castle Dracula. And as he makes his way towards that foreboding country, he will encounter a singular, most enticing of dishes: Paprika Hendl, or as we might know it better, Chicken Paprikash!

This traditional Central European dish explodes in popularity each May as we all gather around our virtual mess hall to enjoy the spirit of this most influential of gothic novels. Perhaps you yourself are considering throwing together a pot this year? Well, if you are, let this be your guide.

So, first, let's discuss the most important of the ingredients here: authentic hungarian paprika. Now, the recipe I first used last year called only for Sweet Paprika, but I personally found that version to be a little bland. I'm remedying this by adding some Hot Paprika as well. However, this is just my personal experimentation. Hungarian Hot Paprika can in fact be very hot, so if you're not comfortable with anything too spicy, feel free to opt only for the Sweet Paprika.

(Both of these I had to order online.)

Next, is another very important addition. As youre gathering your basic cornerstones of cooking (namely yellow onion, roma tomato, and garlic for this recipe) you may find yourself passing up on something that could vastly improve your dish. I'm talking, of course, about Hungarian Wax Peppers. These peppers range in heat, from meak and mild to slightly hotter than you'd average jalapeño. As per instruction, you should only use one. But on my end, I found the single pepper to be a little underwhelming, and I had trouble picking out it's flavor. So, this year, I'll be using two of them.

I got these from Central Market, an upmarket gorcer on Westheimer. They're a cousin of HEB, and you can find one or two in every major city in Texas. If you're elsewhere, try an alternative like Whole Foods, or try to find a European or International food market in your area.

Next, let's talk chicken. You can't have Chicken Paprkiash without the chicken, after all.

You're going to want to go with dark meat cuts for this. Traditionally the dish would use a mix of legs and thighs. Personally, I suggest using only the thighs, which you'll want to get bone-in and skin-on. The thigh provides a flater surface for browning than the leg, as well as more meat.

(A note on food safety, raw chicken will usually only last 2-3 days in the fridge. So you'll want to grab that fairly close to the day you're actually cooking this. If not, you can do what I'll be doing, and sticking it in the freezer until about 24 hours before I start cooking.)

So, as you gather your meat, produce, and spice you're probably asking yourself, "what on Earth am I going to be eating this with?" And the answer to that is spaetzle! A popular dumpling present in lots of Central European cooking, this is exactly what you need to tie this all together.

Now, while you should be able to find some in the international isle of most major grocers, you might also have to visit an international food store, or perhaps something more upmarket. If none of these options work, then there are a variety of other side dishes that work just as well. Egg noodles are a very popular choice, and in my very American attempt last year, I found that mashed potatoes work especially well.

Now that you've got all these things together, you're very nearly done. All that's left is the thickener. Paprikash is thickened using a blend of flour, heavy whipping cream, and sour cream. We'll get onto preparing this mixture in my post on actually cooking the paprikash, but until then, acquiring them should be a cake walk at any place food items are sold.

Now that will conclude the actual grocery list for just the Paprikash itself, but I do have one more pointer on how to really liven up this meal. Now, if you're under 21 or if perhaps you take after our dear, depraved, beloathed Count

Then you can skip this next bit. As a wine professional myself, I find that a well paired glass can add a tremendous flare to nearly any already great dinner. In the case of something like Chicken Paprkiash, and keeping with the Central European theme, I could hardly think of a better match than a good German Pinot Noir, also known as a Spatburgunder. Pinot from Germany typically has a very light body and a refreshing acidity that plays very well with the rich and creamy sauce of Chicken Paprikash. The palate of earth and red fruit should always pair nicely with the smoke of the paprika, as well as being a general good partner for any chicken. I myself am going with this 2020 Rheingau from August Kesseler.

And with that, we are done! Hit those checkout isles and make sure to get home before dark. Terrible things have sway over the world once the sun has gone down. So if the crowd does keep you locked up until nightfall, make sure to graciously accept any crucifixes given to you by kindly, elderly grandmothers and inn keepers. But whatever you do, make sure to pop in on Friday, when I'll be sharing a step by step guide on taking these ingredients and turning them into a dinner that will make our good friend Jonathan go red as a fire truck!

Happy Dracula Week everybody!

[collecting-stories]

Strawberry Gazpacho - Carmen Berzatto

A/N: Some people asked for a part 2 of Blueberry BBQ, so I decided to stay on the fruit trend!

Summary: Reader and Carmy continue to bond over food.

The Bear Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

"What is this?" You asked, staring down at the bowl Carmy had placed on top of your papers. You were in the back office, trying to work on the week's payroll when he'd come in, told you that you needed a lunch break, and placed a plate down in front of you. 

"Try it," he urged, wringing his hands in his apron and looking like an eager little kid. 

"Carm-"

"Try it," he repeated and you obliged. Regardless of what it was you knew you would like it. Carmy made it, which immediately meant it couldn't be bad, but also, Carmy made it. For you, more specifically. You took the proffered spoon and dipped it into the bowl, surprised when you pressed it to your lips and found that it was, in fact, cold.

"Gazpacho?" You asked, after a second bite.

You had told him last night, while watching TV and letting him finish the tupperware of tofu feta that's you'd made the day before, that you hated gazpacho. You loved soup and tomato was your favorite; a nice, roasted red-pepper tomato, heavy on the garlic, that you'd perfected over the years. But no gazpacho. You couldn't get used to the fact that it was cold. 

"You like it?" He asked in a way that suggested he might genuinely be worried that you would tell him it was horrible.

"I mean, it's the best gazpacho I've ever had," you took another bite as proof, "it's spicy."

"But?"

You weren't sure if he was fishing for a compliment or trying to convert you onto a food you held in disdain but you assumed that if he wanted someone to tell him that he was a skilled chef he would've gone to Syd or Marcus with his cold soup.

"It's cold soup Carmy, I just can't fuck with cold soup." You replied, "it's good though."

He reached for the spoon in your hand and dipped it into the bowl, trying some of the gazpacho that he had made. He nodded his head, as if to confirm that it was good, as if he didn't already know it would be.

"Should I like, fall over at your feet and tell you that you've converted me to gazpacho and it's the only thing I'll ever order for the rest of my life?" You teased, leaning an elbow on the desk. It felt completely natural to be this relaxed with him and yet, just weeks earlier, you'd been fretting over the idea of having him come over for Sunday dinner. 

He handed the spoon back and you took another experimental taste.

"I mean, you're still eating it," he pointed out, grinning. 

In no world would Carmy say that he was 'good with people'. If he wasn't saying the wrong thing then he was saying nothing at all (and that was also wrong). He wanted to spend more time with you, the most time he could afford outside of The Beef but the only way he really knew how to spend time with anyone was cooking. So he kept cooking for you, things you liked, things you hated but liked when he made them. He kept trying to find the perfect thing to say and the perfect recipe to go along with it, as if that would remedy his inability to tell you that he wanted more from whatever this situation currently was. You weren't dating but he wanted to be dating but he wasn't exactly the dating type (as far as having an actual open schedule went). 

"Touche," you replied, taking another bite. "I can't decide if I'll regret telling you this or not but my mom has a recipe for strawberry gazpacho that apparently my grandma used to make every summer."

"Strawberry?"

"I can already see the gears turning in your head Carmy," you laughed. 

He looked down at you, piercing blue eyes taking your measure, "can you get me the recipe?"

"Are you gonna make me eat it?" You practically pouted. 

He nodded, "yes."

You groaned and leaned back in the office chair, "god, the things I do for you Carmy." You sighed. "I'll text my mom for the recipe...I can pick stuff up on my way home, if you want. Or if you're all gazpacho'ed out-"

"No, tonight works." He agreed.

Before you could say anything else Marcus was calling Carmy back to the kitchen. He wiped his hands on his apron once more and push himself off the desk. Before he could pick up the bowl you put your hand over his, "I might try another bite." 

There were other things that Carmy could probably be doing with his evening. Catching up on sleep, working on the recipes that he and Syd had been spitballing for the updated menu, mending whatever semblance of a relationship he still had with Sugar. Instead he was looking forward to going to your apartment (which was leagues nicer than his shitty place) and cooking. He'd lived so long on white bread and peanut butter and chips and soft drinks and anything quick that he'd forgotten what it was like to cook just because he enjoyed cooking. Hell, he'd forgotten that he enjoyed it. The only thing, lately, that really felt like it brought that enjoyment back was standing in your kitchen.

"Rigoletto has taken up residence on the island and he refuses to move so...we're down some counter space," you said as soon as you opened the door to Carmy, moving aside to let him into your apartment. 

He stopped at the island, leaning over to pet Rigoletto, who half-heartedly rolled onto his side to give Carmy better access to his stomach. "Hey chef," he teased. He turned to look at you, still stroking the cat as he did, "strawberry gazpacho?" 

"I would just like to disclaimer that I don't think strawberries are going to improve my deep-seated hatred of gazpacho but-"

"I mean, you did eat most of the one I made earlier," Carmy pointed out as your mouth fell open in surprise. 

"Angel! What a snitch!" You laughed, "I can't believe he told you."

"Hey, it's my kitchen, I've gotta know what's going on." He followed you around the other side of the island, grabbing the notebook you had sitting on the counter and scanning over the recipe. You'd called your mom on the way home and asked for a copy of the recipe, which she'd gladly texted ("does this have something to do with that cute chef where you work?"). You'd picked up whatever ingredients you didn't already have at your house and set everything out for Carmy before he'd even gotten there. You felt a little silly, being so excited just to have him come over and cook with you (for you) when there was no real definition to what your relationship was. 

"Did you cook growing up? Like with your mom and stuff?" You asked, stealing a strawberry out of the plastic container. 

"No," Carmy shook his head, then amended his answer, "not really. My ma always told us to help but if we did she yelled at us for doing something the wrong way...it was better to just stay outta her way when she was in the kitchen. You?"

"Oh yeah, my mom's not like...the best chef in the world or anything but she loved trying new stuff. Anything we wanted we could ask for and she'd try to make it. And then as we got older we would have like, nights where one of us got to cook." You replied, "I like it but...I don't think I'm good at it."

"You are...I mean....not like, you've got potential." Carmy explained, blue eyes glancing up to meet you across the island and you smiled. 

"Thank you chef."

You left Carmy to the strawberry gazpacho and the chicken he'd brought over to make some dish you'd never heard of before while you got Rigoletto's dinner out. The cat had finally moved off the island and you sprayed it down with cleaner to at least give yourself a better chance of not picking white cat hair off your dinner plate. 

Carmy fit right into your kitchen, probably the whole apartment for that matter. It was something both of you had thought, more than once, but neither of you said anything about. He felt like he was waiting for something bad to come from all the good you had been supplying in his life recently. Bad news always felt like it was lurking around the corner for him, especially these days, and he didn't want to put everything in one basket. But being in your kitchen, in your space, felt good. It felt like he was supposed to be there. 

"Did you know," you were saying as you came back into the kitchen, leaning near him to look at the chicken he was searing on the stovetop, "that I didn't know what mortadella was before I started working at the Beef?" 

Carmy turned his head to watch you fish a piece of garlic out of the skillet and eat it whole, "Did you just?"

"It was cooked."

"It was a whole clove of garlic."

"I love garlic," you shrugged, dropping the fork in the sink, "but seriously, I had to google it cause I didn't know what Richie was talking about when he was trying to explain it."

"It's very Italian." Carmy replied. 

"You're very Italian." You grinned and he rolled his eyes.

"I am, yeah." And then, "I still can't believe you ate that."

"You act like you've never eaten garlic before."

"Not just shoved a whole clove in my mouth." He replied. 

"It tasted good." You shrugged, "I always use too much garlic. Like if a recipe says three cloves I use six."

"Yeah that's why I said you had potential." 

"Well now I just feel like that's your 'I don't wanna hurt your feelings' way of saying I'm actually shit at cooking." You replied. 

"Nah, if you were shit I'd tell you."

"Yeah but then who'd balance the books for you?" You teased, searching in the cabinet under the island for wine, "red or white?"

"Uh...white for this." Carmy replied.

You pushed the bottle of red you were holding back into the cabinet and went to the fridge, pulling out the Chardonnay you'd bought last week. You grabbed two glasses from the cabinet, handing him one once it was poured. 

"Is this the 'only white you'll drink' wine?" He asked, taking a sip. 

The last time he had come over to cook with you (for you) there had been a long discussion about different wines in which you'd explained that there was only one type of white that you liked. More accurately, one brand that made a chardonnay you didn't completely hate. 

"Yeah...they finally restocked!" You exclaimed, leaning against the counter, "the woman at the Wine and Spirits definitely thinks I'm an alcoholic though...I bought like, four bottles." 

Carmy shook his head, reaching a hand out for the bottle and splashing a little into the pan when you handed it to him. Kitchens were crowded and Carmy was more than used to working in an environment where people were constantly at each other's side or back or space but something about having you leaning there against the counter beside him was both extremely nerve-wracking and extremely comforting. 

He didn't say anything about it though, at least not until after you'd eaten dinner and were sitting on the couch avoiding the dishes. Then he blurted it out while you watched reruns of Murder, She Wrote with Rigoletto. "I always thought I would do stuff like this when I was younger."

"Watch 80's tv shows on a Tuesday night?" You asked.

"No," he laughed, "Just like...I don't know....you know, make dinner with someone. Or, I guess, not feel like my entire life was in a restaurant all the time."

"Well I'll always be happy to make dinner with you...or at least supply the wine while you make dinner." You replied, grinning at him.

"Yeah," he nodded his head slowly, as if convincing himself that what you were saying was true. 

"Yeah," you agreed.

[uncannycerulean]

I wrote my first ever drabble! Seeing red

(375 words, mentions of Dumbledore's canonically dubious decisions)

Draco Malfoy prided himself on being an expert on anger, both his own and the anger of others. After all, he had spent half his youth acting out his own petty rage, skirting his father's ire or pushing other people's buttons to make them jump out of their skin. 

Imagine his surprise at finding that after all their fights and enmity, and the war he had fought and won, Harry Potter, the Saviour of the Wizarding World, was utterly incapable of dealing with anger – especially his own. Luckily, Draco had a plan. 

Which was why, in the dead of night, Draco found himself in front of Dumbledore’s tomb, his feet freezing in the snow, handing Harry a tomato that was quite definitely past its prime. Harry weighed the tomato in his hand experimentally, then tossed it at the tomb half-heartedly. 

The red splotch stood out sharply against the pale marble, even in the darkness. 

“Come on, you can do better than that,” Draco taunted. He could feel Harry’s anger crackling just below the surface, an explosion waiting to happen. 

Harry frowned at him, irritation and self-consciousness warring on his face. 

Draco almost felt compelled to give in, let this be a failed experiment, but he continued: “Tell me again what you said at the pub earlier.”

Harry exhaled heavily, his breath clouding in the cold air. 

“Okay,” he said, taking several tomatoes from Draco’s offered basket. 

“He left me at Privet Drive even though he knew they kept me in a cupboard,” he said, his voice hoarse.

With a satisfying smack, the tomato hit the tomb. This was more like it.

“He raised me as a sacrificial lamb for years,” Harry continued, a little louder. Another splotch on the marble.

“He always planned for me to die, and he made sure I would go willingly,” He was almost shouting now, and throwing the tomato so hard it hit like a Bludger.

“And what does that make him,” Draco prompted, a reassuring hand on Harry’s arm. 

“A scheming, manipulative…” He paused, seeming to almost choke on his words. “...bastard!” 

The final tomato hit the tomb right over the inscription. 

Harry turned to look at Draco and laughed. 

“You were right,” he said, panting. “That felt good.”

[laurark]

2023 Wrap Up

A strange year that was both long and short. The main lesson to learn from 2023 is the same lesson I have been learning every year since I was 6 years old: Things happen if you try!

 I spent a lot of time this year hitting my head against a wall, or rather healing from an RSI that caused making art to become really fraught. I could bear the wrist pain in order to do my favorite thing (drawing!!!) but then the pain stuck around after I had clocked out for the day and was making dinner. It would go like this: I want to make pasta sauce using canned tomatoes, but using a can opener is so painful now that maybe I should just do something else. The onions and garlic are already cooking in the pan though, what can I pivot that to? I felt like the biggest dunce in the world. I worked my way into being cursed, I deserved it.

I have this craving to just commit to a big art project, like a graphic novel, and keep my head down working on it. Having all my time devoted to work feels a bit like doing penance, like earning my bread. But I look at the world and I know I cannot draw my way out of this. I can’t write my way out of this. I can’t post my way out of this. I am unprepared for what I need to do to earn a better tomorrow. But I am prepared to learn.

I changed up my desk ergonomics and my wrist healed. Thank you to the huge desk easel that I stole from my parents’ house. It’s ugly, heavy, stained, and I keep banging my elbows on its sharp corners. It sucks but it saved my life. Do not resist making your workspace uglier if it might help you! 

Making The Influence and participating in the ShortBox Comics Fair was a huge work highlight this year. I’m so grateful I can make a work with dark themes and have it be understood and appreciated. The encouraging response to The Influence did a lot to kill the bad faith reviewer in my mind. Things are possible if you try!

I started painting again and I really love it. I’m trying to just follow the image-making. Painting is play to me and I want it to remain so. I feel myself itch to turn it into some kind of profitable thing, to make it palatable, but I’m trying to resist so it remains a place of experimentation. 

I also wrote a short novel. It’s awful. I just re-read it and it’s so bad, but reading it makes me happy. It needs serious reworking to be a proper novel, but I did technically cross the finish line and write the whole story. It was very refreshing and informative to branch out like this, even if I don’t think this particular example is fit for human consumption. Earlier in my life I was so stubborn about ONLY working in comics but now I’d like to pursue whatever path I can to have a creative career. If you try!

I had a great time tabling at Short Run this year. Two different people came to my table and told me they came to the show specifically to see my table. One person said Bug Boys was responsible for facilitating “many special moments” with them and their niece. I don’t want to forget about moments like this. It means a lot to me. 

It occurs to me as I type out this year’s accomplishments, they’re mostly things I did at home alone. I haven’t rejoined the world after COVID in a meaningful way, the way I hoped I would during lockdown. It comes naturally to me to make up excuses to stay home, keep my head down, watch how things play out before joining in. That attitude does me a disservice. It isolates me. When other people are only in the screen, they become hypothetical. It’s not right to live this way, but it’s comfortable to me. It feels “safe” after COVID, even though it’s not safe. I know I need to change this. 

It feels sick and strange to be blogging in my safe little apartment during a time of bloodshed. To flip through my planner and think of my future while others starve is obscene. My entire life was obscene in this fashion. It’s my responsibility to sit with this feeling and do something with it.

Here’s to a better 2024. We can do it, we can try. 

In love and solidarity, 

Laura K.

[wyrdle]

I'm totally with you on the pre-P3 timeline. I love love love having exact dates for everything, so the lack of information is sooooo frustrating. Even worse being a Sho fan as there's barely anything, best I've got is that the experiments on him took place in 1999 (mentioned by Labrys in the P3 side as she's heading to the top of the tower), and according to the manga he was 8 when he nearly died during "combat training", so if you take the info we get in the manga as canon then he'd be the about same age as the P3 3rd year trio. Idk if it's helpful in any way, I'm just a bit insane about the guy. Sorry for coming in here and rambling.

Oooh! Interesting!!! And don't worry about being insane about the characters lol I am the same with tomato boy's horrible dad. Honestly, the bit I focus on is whether it's before or after the explosion from 10 years ago for sequence of events.

Here are some of my footnotes: Spoilers and excessive yapping ahead

Child experimentation and pursuit of inducing personas + evokers were only conceived post-Mitsuru's awakening within Tartarus. Which is post-explosion. (Source: In-game notes, Persona 3 Club Book)

This makes a lot of sense what with the creation of Theurgy/new equipment for SEES. Not saying child experimentation didn't happen pre-explosion era, but it certainly didn't stop. These all had to be Kirijo group-sanctioned activities, Ikutsuki did not work alone and without support.

The above implies that Sho + Strega + other child victims were only worked on post-explosion too, as the only reason they did so was to gather as many Persona users to explore Tartarus. So maybe? Late 1999, immediately after explosion? Once Tartarus exploration trapped a bunch of kids and failed though, the experiments were dropped. Strega escaped before this. Sho got into a coma before this.

The issue with timeline starts when Sho's plume of dusk scenario seems to be the key to the creation of Anti-Shadow Weapons. The existence of Minazuki inspired the researchers to trial Aigis, Labrys and their brethren needing a plume of dusk to develop their sentience. (I need a source for this though, lol.) And Aigis needs to be around pre-explosion to be able to trap Death.

Soooooo. The timeline/sequence of events is shot to hell haha. I might've mixed up "Discovering a plume of dusk contains a soul in robots so they can use personas too >>> Let's try putting this in a child so he can get a persona" reasoning timeline... but it makes less sense in this direction.

Now for my personal thoughts: I believe the game wants to frame it as being "pre-explosion" and during Koetsu Kirijo era to idk. Bundle all the evil to that time, place all possible evil on Ikutsuki, and suggest they've turned a new leaf, but are maybe burdened by the ethical issues in pursuit of it. At least, that's how I've conceived Takeharu Kirijo. "The ends justify the means, unfortunately" type beat. It matches up with how he wants to distance himself from Mitsuru, too. Still, it is his Kirijo Group covering up the incident that killed Ken's mom, his Kirijo Group that decides Eiichirou Takeba should remain slandered in public eye and for Yukari + her mom to experience the fallout. Wtf.

Forewarning for Ikutsuki yapping ahead lol.

Unfortunately, they decided Ikutsuki (as the last representative of "old-world" Kirijo group) became the easiest scapegoat for all of this heinous shit. I have opinions about their use of him as a character like this, because it's so cheap. In P3 game's story alone, his (+Strega's) role in the story is meant to be an antithesis to Protag + SEES. So what does that mean exactly? Throwing away bonds/not forming them, seeing no meaning in living after pain, finding meaning/will to live in the pursuit of death etc.

These are all extremely sympathetic points for Strega, for Sho, for literally any character that "experiences the doomerisms". But in the case of Ikutsuki, suddenly it is of no consequence. The writers hate him/don't care for him as a character, when he could be so intriguing. Why does he believe the world needs to be remade? He's the last mouthpiece for the dead Kirijo group cultists too, so!!!!

All persona games have always explored how people are complex and how causing suffering is often the result of suffering- yet Shuji, the guy who actually kills himself / seeks death so doggedly / deludes himself into a prophecy that would make living just a bit longer more bearable is. Just crazy I guess. Guy who spent 10 years like this, taking solace in the fact that Nyx is coming...

Sho's actions mirror Ikutsuki's, Strega believe in Nyx, that implies something for Ikutsuki too lol. That's lost to everyone because he's never given more reason to exist on screen besides to torment people with his puns.

TLDR: I'm so so so salty about Shuji haha. Sorry, he's my fave because he's essentially "What if unhealable mental illness in man" which is horrifyingly sad. The concept of him is so delightfully doomed. Rounding back to topic (OOPS), the timeline messiness was likely to just set up some nebulous evil to contrast next to SEES as well as give them hurdles to overcome. I just think they should've fleshed out parallels in the human condition to experience hurt and contrast of how to live with it though, haha.

[dire-vulture]

tbh i love that that ask game ended up being like a rundown of the most concerning dragons florabrisa has to offer dfsgsdf

top 10 dragons in florabrisa to worry about for various reasons: 1. Marglobe (Mirror who only eats tomatoes) 2. Ghiaccia (explosive alchemist banned from nature flight) 3. Pogonip (very fast and reckless flier with sharp horns) 4. Yazeena (severe alcoholic, very burned out) 5. Paragon (an alcoholic jerk) 6. Falcata (a depressed jerk) 7. Macaroon (vegetatian Coatl, but takes better care of herself than Marglobe) 8. Xana and Iolite (hoarding highly illegal and experimental tech, hiding from the Lightning Police) 9. Dardo and Uluru (thieves with high profile victims, hiding from the Wind Police. in Wind.) 10. Jovial i guess. just a 28 year old who's still very immature and does stupid stuff dfgsg he's a bad influence on Squeak :c

[thedawningofthehour]

Hello Fai,

I created a sort of mini comic for chapter five the most recent book.

Drawing of Poison Table and Mushroom Patch:

Also the min fanart:

Which is for this scene:

“Is the table back here for all your purple plants?”

“They are not all purple, but segue,” Galois gestures to the table. “The mushroom patch and this table especially, not safe. This is where all our poisonous plants are grown.” He waves his hand. “I mean, roughly. We have tomatoes and potatoes too which are part of the nightshade family and their stems and leaves are poisonous, but we don’t use them as poison. And most of the fungi is perfectly safe, but it can be very difficult to tell sometimes. I would rather you didn’t risk it.”

“These are all poison?” Raphael moves closer to the poison table. “Man, this flower is so pretty.”

“That is the adenium obesum, otherwise known as the desert rose. It’s native to Sahelian Africa and hunters would use them to poison their arrowheads.”

Raphael snatches his hand back.

“It’s actually quite lucky that we have that, most Yokai who hail from the African continent come from the miombo woodlands and the Barotse floodplain, which…I believe are both in Zambia now, so it’s thrilling to have specimens from farther north. Anyway, oleander is another one of my favorites, incredibly beautiful and will cause you to shit blood. Oh, those berries that look absolutely delicious? Belladonna. Don’t even touch any of these without myself or my father present, some of these plants are toxic even to touch.”

“...Why does Draxum have so many poisons?”

“My father is a botanist. And many of these plants have positive effects as well, if you know how to use them.”

“It’s poison.”

“You know what my father does, Raphael. Poisons are a necessity.”

Raphael is entirely silent for far too long. Galois clears his throat.

“Now!” He turns on his heel and marches forward. “On the other side here are all the other non-tree fruits and vegetables. Which is all incredibly exciting, I know, but if you bear with me we will get to the experimentals!”

——————————————————————-

lmao I love how you wrote POISON like the Pokémon type. Gale probably would label shit like that, just to annoy his dad.

I never did finish Draxum's house in the Sims 4 but I did build the greenery. Let me see if I can find my pics...

Did I seriously not take pics of the remodel? Ugh. So this was the first work-through. In the second I expanded both the greenery and Draxum's lab, and adjusted things to fit the in-story descriptions. The flowers at the back of the second pic should be up on a table. I don't have the Sims installed on this computer, but I have the save file and mod folder so when I get around to reinstalling it should be pretty easy to pop them back in and load up the house. One of these days I'll get around to doing that. It's only been like a year.

Oh! And the flowers Gale mentions:

The Desert Rose

Oleander

and Belladonna! Not bad on your renditions!

Beautiful, aren't they? Women used to pour belladonna juice into their eyes to make their pupils look bigger. Which also rendered them blind, but that's historic makeup for you.

Anyway. I love Gale's skeptical eyebrow waggles. He doesn't have time for this personal crisis shit. He's got places to be.

[cherrylng]

UK ROCK BEST 100 ALBUMS - The 00's [CROSSBEAT (August 2006)]

00's UK rock's current location, where a diverse range of personalities are in turmoil

In the early 2000s, UK rock music was in a state of chaos, with the unprecedented idol boom taking over the leading role in the music world, but the seeds for the next generation could be seen here and there.

Since the end of the 1990s, several eclectic blues/folk/electronica bands, described as "the British answer to Beck", have emerged, and a branch of this, the "New Acoustic", has been gaining local attention. The post-rock/neo-prog rock scene developed in tandem with the rise of Radiohead, while the "new acoustic" bands that branched off from it gained local attention. It was Coldplay who drove an important wedge in the direction of the scene there. The band's "orthodox" approach to music captured the hearts and minds of the public at a time when there was an unabated demand for lyrical rock and a thirst for new Radiohead releases that were confused by the electronica-driven sound of the band. They went on to conquer the USA.

However, it was the American bands such as The Strokes and The White Stripes, and the Scandinavian and Australian bands such as The Hives and The Vines that brought about a decisive turning point in a situation where pop, dance and mellow music still dominated. It was perhaps the UK that was most affected by this simultaneous worldwide garage rock revival. People hungry for aggressive guitar rock greeted the band with enthusiasm, and new British acts such as The Libertines and Razorlight soon responded. The UK rock counter-attack began in earnest.

This led to a rapid revival of guitar rock in the UK. In fact, studies showed that guitar sales had increased several times faster than at the end of the 1990s. The fact that Alex Turner, frontman of the now flying Arctic Monkeys, was inspired by Vines as his first live experience as a frontman is testimony to this virtuous cycle.

The rise of guitar music has resulted in a wide-ranging revitalisation that is not confined to one genre. In Liverpool, for example, a unique and individual scene was flourishing around the local Delta Sonic label, represented by the eclectic psychedelic The Coral, and the fusion of rock and groove (The Music, Kasabian, etc.) also established an area of its own. Muse, who at the time of their debut were treated as a Radiohead follower, established their own dramatic rock opera world. Then came Franz Ferdinand, who further dramatically rewrote the UK rock map. With their clever blend of sonic sharpness and pop danceability, the neo-New Wave/post-punk revival (Bloc Party, Kaiser Chiefs, etc.) was in full bloom at once. This movement, which has been described as the second coming of Brit-pop, is not just a rehash of New Wave, but is also the culmination of 40 years of British rock music from the 1960s to the present (beat, glam, art rock, Madchester, etc.). -Sumi Imai

Emperor Tomato Ketchup Stereolab (1996) A mid-period masterpiece that cleverly digested the experimental elements of later electronica into pop songs. Their taste and skill crystallised at their highest point. -Mima

OK Computer Radiohead (1997) Third album that catapulted Radiohead to the top of the world's top bands. Not the most accessible work, but perhaps it was the fact that it was somewhat esoteric that got so many people hooked. -Koguchi

Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space Spiritualized® (1997) Jason Pierce led an orchestra in building this cerebrally delusional soundscape. A dizzying druggy spectacle that connects New Orleans and space in a straight line. -Kuroda

Word Gets Around Stereophonics (1997) The first album by this burly rock trio from South Wales, including the singalong classic "A Thousand Trees", and Kelly Jones' narrative lyrics were also highly acclaimed. -Yamashita

Urban Hymns The Verve (1997) The Verve's 'Urban Hymns' turned the previously often under-performing group into a national band (and a success in the USA). Listen to Richard Ashcroft's soulful singing. -Koguchi

The Man Who Travis (1999) A major breakthrough (second) with Nigel Godrich as producer, bringing naïve songwriting to the fore. Don't forget they were there before Coldplay. -Koguchi

Community Music Asian Dub Foundation (2000) Second generation Asians living in the UK hit the scene with their one-of-a-kind groove, and also worked with Primal with their anti-establishment message. This album is a reflection of London as a racial melting pot. -Otani

Rock Action Mogwai (2001) This is their controversial work, which is a step forward from My Bloody Valentine-esque guitar experimentation. It's impressive that they feature breakbeats and vocals in a big way. -Kuroda

A Rush of Blood to the Head Coldplay (2002) The band have continued to enjoy such huge commercial success since their debut that it's almost a little depressing. This second album is another fine piece of work with well-crafted songs, and has exploded around the world. -Hirose

The Coral The Coral (2002) 1st album by Liverpool's young super-individuals. They showcased their nostalgia by mixing psychedelic, acid folk and even Mersey Beat. They had hits such as "Skeleton Key." -Yamashita

Up the Bracket The Libertines (2002) Undoubtedly one of the most important albums of 00's UK rock. The band's unstable, uncontrollable performances and poetic genius in their depiction of everyday life painfully redefined "punk". -Sawada

The Music The Music (2002) UK rock newcomer of 2002, with a no-questions-asked groove. The whole band seemed to be beating to a single beat, and their development was simply breathtaking. Being Japanophiles, they have already visited Japan seven times. -Otani

Absolution Muse (2003) An epic rock drama combining hard guitar sounds with beautiful classical elements. Excessive romanticism has transformed the post-90s values of 'cool'. -Mima

Phantom Power Super Furry Animals (2003) A masterpiece from the Welsh outfit that succeeded in making a sonic leap forward. By suppressing their anger and mixing it with humour, their serious message stands out even more strongly. -Kuroda

Franz Ferdinand Franz Ferdinand (2004) This Glaswegian four-piece crossed disco with new wave and created a worldwide fever in 2004. They are the ones who started the current UK rock boom. -Koguchi

Kasabian Kasabian (2004) New working-class rock of the 00's. The 90's hooligan appearance of Oasis and Primal was successfully evolved with 00's dance grooves. -Sawada

Hopes and Fears Keane (2004) One of the bestsellers of 00's UK rock, which popularised the middle-class rock pioneered by Coldplay. In a sense, the ultimate form of "melody supremacy". -Sawada

A Grand Don't Come for Free The Streets (2004) The Streets' second album from the UK garage scene. The song depicted the reality of working-class youths and gained overwhelming support, becoming No.1. Excellent dance music without lyrics. -Yamashita

Silent Alarm Bloc Party (2005) A record that symbolised the era when the 00's rock groove became known to the world together with Franz. The jittery beats are appealing, but the melodies are also very melancholy. -Sawada

Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not Arctic Monkeys (2006) Straightforward and straight to the point. A shocking debut album that opened up the possibilities of rock music with the most difficult sound to make it sound fresh these days. A brilliant crystallisation of pure initial impulse and passionate energy. -Otani

Translator's Note: And that's it for covering 50 years of UK rock music in 100 albums. Honestly, the reason why I scanned and even translated this while article was just because Chris Martin was in the picture. Would be nice to have Matt there instead, but I also like seeing a white man with curly blond hair and blue eyes. Hard to resist him ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[gorbalsvampire]

Tag Nine People You'd Like To Get To Know Better

FAVOURITE COLOUR(s): Dark, rich purples and reds. Greens: British racing, chartreuse. Bottle greens and browns. Black and white contrasts. Glasz eyes are the most beautiful on Earth. Love a check or tartan pattern. I paint all my miniatures in cold blue/bronze or warm purple/brass contrast unless physically prevented from doing so.

FAVOURITE FLAVOUR(s): Rock salt and woodsmoke and paprika in a thin batter. Rich thick curry sauce - warm and textured, not hot-like-burning. Whole milk and sour cream. Fresh carrots and tomatoes - just chomp those fuckers down. Sourdough and soft cheese. Tea with an undertone of citrus or an abundance of honey. Mulled apples. Dirty chai. And above all, peppermint.

FAVOURITE MUSIC: Tradgoth and post punk (basslines you can slink to), trip hop (take me somewhere far away), post rock soundscapes (the more elegiac the better), prog (but more the Pink Floyd pomp rock than wildly experimental stuff), anything Jim Jarmusch or Polly Jean Harvey ever touch, sad country and sleazy swamp rocks. Music for people who want to crawl into a swamp, cop off, and drown each other.

FAVOURITE MOVIE(s): Franklyn. Withnail & I. Only Lovers Left Alive. I detest busy plotting and spectacle and run on vibes. But also, because sometimes I'm From The Nineties And Also British, Guy Ritchie's entire oeuvre. Sin City has a nice vibe even though it's a nasty piece of work. Possession (1981) and Nosferatu (1979) - I'll watch Isabelle Adjani in anything. Or Eva Green. Give me pale, deathless, insane women.

FAVOURITE BOOK(s): UGH! Anything by Terry Pratchett. S T Gibson's vampire stories. Anything by Susanna Clarke. Earthsea. The first four books of Anno Dracula. Anything by Laura Shepherd-Robinson. Alis Hawkins' Oxford novels. Seth Dickenson's Masquerade and Tamsyn Muir's Locked Tomb. The Wolf Hall trilogy. Sherlock Holmes and weird post-Holmes stuff from Obverse. T. S. Eliot, William Blake, Edgar Allen Poe, Sylvia Plath, and a raft of contemporary Welsh poets - Cath Drake, Katherine Stansfield, Christopher Meredith. If I had a guilty pleasure, Black Library novels (John French, Matt Farrer and Aaron Dembksi-Bowden) would be it.

FAVOURITE SERIES(es): Doctor Who, Lock, Stock..., The Biederbeck Trilogy, What We Do In The Shadows, LA By Night, The Thick of It and... Taskmaster. Taskmaster is my religion. I like seeing the Bit all comics do get tested to destruction. And podcasts: Poorhammer, the 40K Badcast. I get my hobby chat fix from those.

LAST SONG: :Of The Wand And The Moon:, 'Hold My Hand'

LAST SERIES: The Thick of It (rewatch).

LAST MOVIE: Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (comfort rewatch, I've been poorly)

CURRENTLY READING: Viriconium by M. John Harrison.

CURRENTLY WATCHING: nothing

CURRENTLY WORKING ON: ideating a festive V5 one-off and new chronicles for next year, but otherwise taking it easy (I've been really poorly)

TAGGED BY: @silkenred

TAGGING: @heywizards @biomechanicaltomato @gwenynen-bach @gingerbeer-queer @robotslenderman

[if-whats-new]

What's New In IF? Issue 8 (2024)

By Erika, Marjorie, Axelle, and Noi

Now Available!

This is a repost of Issue 7 (this see notice). The original post was not salvageable. We have removed the tags so not to inconvenience creators with notifications. You can still download the original version on itch.io.

Itch.io. - Keep Reading below

Due to Internal things, the June and July issues will only update on events and games. We hope to resume regular activities and include more pages by August. Note: while Axelle is mentioned, they are currently on a break.

~ EVENT SPOTLIGHT : RAFFLE FOR PALESTINE ~

The IF COMMUNITY RAFFLE FOR PALESTINE is a charity drive spearheaded by Kit from “The Northern Passage” (@/northern-passage) to raise money for Palestine families trying to evacuate Gaza.

To participate in the raffle, you must provide a receipt that you donated 5€/$5 to one of the five selected GoFundMe to receive one ticket for the raffle.

Each further 5€/$5 donation (to the same or one of the other 5 GFM) will grant you another raffle ticket.

Prizes will be assigned to valid raffle ticket at random, using a generator. These prizes include portrait of characters (bust/full, coloured/sketched, background/clean), as well as writing snippets (500+ w/) or playable in- character micro-IF. The list of the 50 participating artists and authors can be found here.

You can redeem tickets for the raffle up until the 21st of June. Winners will be contacted shortly after.

~ CONFERENCE ~

While you cannot register for the Narrascope in person, you can still do so for the online option until June 17th! The event is happening June 21-23. It is also possible to participate in their game jam even if you are not attending! You can already submit now!

~ ONGOING (VOTING) ~

With this edition of the 🔥 Fuck Capitalism Jam 2024 🔥 being ranked, the jam is currently in its voting period until next week. If you did not submit an entry (and thus, cannot vote), you can still share your thoughts in the games comments!

The Rayuela (Spanish IFComp) is also still in their voting period. If you are Spanish speaking, come support the entries!

~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~

Still ongoing is the ParserComp, which are looking for parser games, both with a classic feel or a more experimental approach.

If you are looking to make a Visual Novel, the Otome Jam will be looking for entries until July 1st. There is also the Josei jam running parallel to it.

While it is not IF-focused, the Anti-Romance Jam is once again looking for anti-romance submissions!

Love/Violence is another unranked game jam looking for entries dealing with Love and Violence and all the things in between (also accepts non IF)

Come submit to the Neo-Twiny Jam for charity! Until the end of June, every 500-word micro IF will help raise money for LBGTQ+ causes. Reach out to the organisers (@/neointeractives/@/neo-twiny-jam) if you want to donate instead!

From now until the start of July, you can participate in the Fix the Worst Visual Novels Jam.

Can you write something in French? Or use Google Translate? The annual Nouvim3000 is an unranked francophone IF jam where you need to write between 500 and 3k words. This year's theme is “INCOMBUSTIBLE”.

~ ENDED ~

The Tomatoes bitsy jam ended last weekend. Check you the cool half-dozen entries!

~ OTHER ~

The Interactive Fiction Showcase is still running! If you have completed an IF piece this year, consider submitting it! It is happening only on itch!

~ NEW RELEASE ~

The Zen of Kayaking (Z-code) is a text adventure game inspired by 1980s Infocom games, where you go on a Kayak trip on a Sunday morning. @/pixelturkey

Goodnight Molly (Ren’Py) is a short visual novel about stories and how we don't always remember them the way we think we do.

Blank Canvas (Ren’Py) is a visual novel where you play as an illustrator asked for a time-sensitive comission.

What Grackle Told the Stranger (Twine) is a short mystery game based on D&D.

Don't forget about the cool games released in the events mentioned in the previous pages! There were a lot of really cool games! (Erika really liked the Neo-Twiny entries.)

~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~

Eldritch Tales: Inheritance (CScript) is a cosmic horror where you inherit a creepy manor. @/darielivalyen

A Rose by Another Name (Twine) is a Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet inspired project with a queer twist. @/triscuit-writes

Text Your Life (Ren’Py) is a romance mobile phone chat simulator.

Stygian—Elves of Darkest Night (CScript) is a high-fantasy project.

Project Xavier (CScript) is a high-fantasy project where you play as a hunter.

~ GAMES UPDATES ~

Burning Academia (Twine) has released its second chapter. @/burning-academia-if

The Bureau (CScript) has updated its demo with 40k+ words. @/morbethgames

One Knight Stand (CScript) is releasing the next update at different Patreon tier. @/oneknightstand-if

Honor Bound (CScript) has released its seventh chapter on Patreon. @/hpowellsmith

Stygian Sun: Total Eclipse (Twine) has released the first part of Chapter 1. @/stygiansun-totaleclipse

The Night Market (Twine) released Chapter 5 on its Patreon. @/night-market-if

Dimension Jumper (Twine) added Chapter 11 to the demo. @/dimension-jumper-if

Shattered Eagle: Fall of an Empire (CScript) released its third chapter.

Saturnine (CScript) added a new chapter of 36k words. @/satur9-if

~ OTHER ~

The Queer Games Bundle (@/queergamesbundle) is now live on itch.io. Support a bunch of queer creators (including Interactive Fiction authors!) by purchasing the bundle!

We apologize if we missed an update or a release. We are but volunteers trying to find as much info as possible, but sometimes news pass through the cracks.

Please, let us know if something should have been added to the zine, and we will shout it out next week!

ERIKA, MARJORIE, AXELLE, AND NOI

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 8

[themorriganwitch]

Dagger Squad Cooking Headcanons

Summary: some headcanons about the dagger cooking skills

Characters: Bradley Bradshaw, Jake Seresin, Pete Mitchell, Natasha Trace, Bob Floyd 

A/N: English is not my first language, so please be aware that there will be mistakes. Comments and ideas for more head canons are always appreciated

Masterlist

______________________________________________________________________

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin:

Jake is a good cook

Learned early from his Mama how to do proper dishes

Has all of his favorite family recipes saved on his phone

Likes to cook them for the squad occasionally

But lord have mercy if someone wants some extra salt

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw:

He can probably make four good but basic  Pasta dishes 

And that only because Phoenix gifted him some cooking lessons for one of his birthdays 

Besides that he lives from take out, protein shakes and being invited to other dagger households

He oddly is the best at hosting barbecues though- and he absolutely loves to brag about him being a barbecue genius to Hangman

Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell

Was the worst cook for the first 28 years of his life

Only survived Top Gun because Carole made sure to feed him properly

She also made sure to teach him some dishes he can cook while being deployed

He later then taught Bradley those dishes

He is not the best cook now, but he can make decent food that won‘t get him poisoned

Ice declined to taste anything Mav made in the kitchen though

Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd

Best cook of the Dagger Squad

Not only is he a great cook but also makes the best cakes

Makes the greatest birthday cakes for his co workers - jake denies it vehemently but phoenix swears she saw some tears in his eyes when Bob had gifted him a cowboy hat shaped cake  for his birthday once

No matter if you want a fancy 5 course meal or just some tomato soup with grilled cheese- Bob is your man

Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace 

Phoenix is a decent Cook

Also very experimental

One of the best gifts you could give her is a new cooking class

She really enjoys different cuisines and traditional food from all over the World

Cooking is also her love Language - no matter if she cooks for you on your third date or making you her famous noodle soup when you are sick

___________________________________________________________________

I hope you enjoyed reading this, new prompts are always appreciated. Thank you 

[floralxhemmo]

home. (c.sb) - chapter 2

soobin x puppy hybrid! trans male! oc

content includes: hair colors aren’t from one particular era because i said so, completely self indulgent bc i fucking can that’s why, hybrids (obviously), past + mentioned hybrid abuse, mistreatment, and experimentation (ie. oc was in a lab), suggestive/possible smut in late chapters, fluff, angst, panic/anxiety attacks, angst but hopefully not too much, “owner” may be used to describe soobin in oc’s pov (know that i don’t really like that term so i may change it to something else later)

author's note: thanks to everyone that's read the first chapter. hope you enjoy this one!!

About an hour later, after weaving their way through traffic, they drove up to a large, luxurious apartment complex. Soobin pulled up to the front of the building, getting out and handing his keys over to a valet. He walked around to the passenger’s side and opened the door for Rin, helping him unbuckle his seatbelt and step out of the car.

They walked into the building, and Rin gasped. His tail started to wag ever so slightly as he looked up at the big glass chandelier suspended in the air directly above him. Soobin stopped, waiting for him to catch up. He quickly walked towards the blonde man, and the two made their way towards the elevators; they stopped at the topmost floor. The doors opened and in front of them was the most gorgeous penthouse Rin had ever seen, not that he’d ever actually seen one before.

“Welcome home, Rin. I hope you’ll like it here.” Soobin looked down at the young pup as his tail wagged left and right.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Rin said, his mouth agape.

Suddenly the sound of a door opening resonated throughout the house, followed by voices. Rin’s tail stopped mid-wag and his ears pulled back. Soobin looked back at Rin, as four men walked out of one of the rooms.

“Yah, Soobin! Where were you? We’ve waited all day.” One of the men spoke. He was tall like Soobin and had pink hair. “Oh? And who may this little one be?”

All eyes landed on Rin, who quickly backed up behind Soobin, suddenly interested in the floor. Soobin reached behind him to grab the pup’s hand, gently leading him out from behind. “This,” he gestured, “is Rin. He’s my hybrid.”

“And a cute one at that.” the pink haired man said. He crouched down in front of Rin, extending his hand. “Hi there, Rin, I’m Yeonjun. It’s nice to meet you.”

Rin stood there, a blush creeping up his neck as he turned his eyes towards Yeonjun. He stared at his face for a second, his eyes going wide at how pretty he thought he was. “Nice to meet you too.” Rin said, his voice ever so quiet, before taking the man’s hand and shaking it. Yeonjun stood up as the rest of the men introduced themselves. The one with long black hair said his name was Beomgyu, the blue haired one was Taehyun, and the brown haired one was Huening Kai.

---

Soobin led Rin through the penthouse, showing off each room while the boys stayed in the living room. Rin memorized the layout relatively quickly as they stopped at the last door. Soobin opened it, revealing a bedroom.

Behind the door was a modern looking room, much like the rest of the apartment. The bed was neatly made, and the window was open, its pearl white curtains fluttering softly in the early evening breeze. Rin ran to the window, gazing out at the city. His tail was wagging fast as his eyes scanned the scenery. He turned back to Soobin, smiling wider than he had in years.

“I love it, Soobin! Thank you so much!” He bowed deeply, tears starting well in his blue eyes.

Soobin stepped over to Rin as he quickly stood up straight. “I’m glad to hear it.” Soobin smiled at him, who shyly followed suit. The taller man leaned down, carefully placing his hand on the hybrid’s head. He gently patted Rin’s head then scratched behind his ear.

Rin’s face went as red as a tomato, his tail starting to move again. Soobin pulled his hand back and Rin involuntarily whimpered. Soobin cocked an eyebrow, his smile growing wider when Rin quickly grabbed his hand and placed it back on his head. He closed his eyes, letting Soobin play with his ears and hair. He chuckled at the boy in front of him, his heart beating faster. 

Finally, Rin looked up at him. Soobin blushed ever so slightly, as he took in the sight of the pup in front of him. Fluffy light brown hair just barely touching his shoulders, blue eyes with hints of green, one mole near his eye and another near his nose. His floppy ears and a poofy tail only making him even cuter.

     “Why don’t you take a shower or a bath to relax? I’ll get you some fresh towels and something to change into.” Soobin said softly. Rin nodded as Soobin left the room briefly. He returned with a couple of towels and some clothes that looked way too big.

“Sorry, this is all I have for now. We can go shopping tomorrow if you’d like.” Soobin placed the items on the bed, “Take as much time as you want, there’s no need to rush.”

     Rin thanked him, watching as he closed the door behind him. He undressed, grabbed the towels, and headed into the attached bathroom. It took him a few minutes to get the water to warm up and get it at the right pressure, but he relaxed instantly as the hot water hit his back. 

He looked at the different soaps, reading the labels and smelling each one. He eventually noticed there was a soap specifically for dog hybrids and used it on his ears and tail after making sure he liked the smell. It smelled of strawberries and vanilla, just like the shampoo and body wash he’d seen.

He got out after a while, feeling guilty for taking so long. Wrapping the towel around himself, he made his way back to the bedroom, but not before he made sure the bathroom was as spotless as it was before he used it.

Rin gazed at the clothes in front of them. There was a hoodie, a pair of shorts, socks, and a small, unused pair of boxers. He caught a whiff of a familiar scent; it was faint and almost washed out, but there was no doubt about it, the scent was Soobin’s. Rin quickly tucked the thought away, before changing into the clothes. He noticed there was no hole for his tail to go through, but figured Soobin could help him with it. With that, he made his way downstairs.

[treetreader]

im actually kinda excited about my garden this year! new stakes and chicken wire are all put up! one bed will officially be an herb garden and the other will be for experimentally growing cantaloupe!

one trellis will be for roma tomatoes and summer squash and the other will be for eggplant and zucchini!

plus ive already seeded the borders with marigolds! nasturtium seeds are in pots, strawberry starts are in their new tower, which leaves one big pot open 🤔

hm maybe cucumbers? if i add something for it to climb on

[thestalwartheart]

00Q - Semi-NSFW 22. … trying to play footsie with the other during a meeting

This was such a hysterical prompt, thank you! 😂 I apologise for the delay in getting around to it.

You can read the fill under the cut or on AO3. Enjoy!

ire.

Q isn’t angry. He isn’t.

He’s furious.

Evidently, everyone gathered around the heavy mahogany conference table can see it because all of them have averted their eyes. Except for one person, of course. The very person who sparked his ire in the first place. As he keeps his eyes level with Bond’s highly-amused gaze, Q thinks about the man’s poker advice. You never play your hand, Q. Always play the person across from you.

“Sir, if I may. That car has cost the department four and a half million pounds so far. It contains some of the most cutting-edge experimental weaponry my department has ever developed. If you recall, the last time Bond took one of my cars on a mission—”

“I was chasing down a terrorist group with even more terrifying experimental technology,” Bond interrupts.

Mallory levels them both with a look. He’s tired; that much is evident. Q has a feeling he and Bond are only adding to the man’s perennial aura of exhaustion.

“I’m sorry, Q, but I’ll need the car reassigned to 007.”

“009 is scheduled for Barcelona tomorrow—”

“And 007 is to be in Paris today. Reassign the car, Quartermaster.”

“Fine,” snaps Q, closing his folder of repair receipts and sitting back in his seat.

Q misses a lot of what gets said next, not that it matters much. It’s something dreadfully boring about a policy being driven through the House of Commons, the details of which Q is already very well-acquainted with. His ears are too busy ringing with the sound of his own pulse. Even worse, he can feel the heat high on his cheeks where he’s sure he’s tomato-red. Distantly, he remembers his doctor’s stern warning from his last check-up: If that blood pressure doesn’t come down, you’re going to have a stroke by the time you’re forty. Q had been keen to get that in writing so he could show Bond just how much havoc he’s been wreaking all these years. Regrettably, the doctor only looked at Q over a pair of wire-framed glasses and tutted at him about eating more vegetables and avoiding cholesterol.

Well, bollocks to that. Q takes a butter-laden pastry from the middle of the table and tears into it.

Four and a half million pounds, surely down the drain now. The last time Bond had wasted this much money, Q was called into an internal review whose findings were passed on to the bloody PM. Q had protected Bond then, saying some very nice things about the value of agents and the worth of human life, not to mention all the impossible circumstances agents face in the field. If he ends up in another review because of this, he’s going to throw Bond under the bus this time. The man probably has enough of his hazard pay stashed away to pay for the repairs himself.

While he’s thinking of that — both the possibility of emptying Bond’s bank accounts and watching him slide oil-stained and casually dressed underneath an Aston Martin — he feels a touch at his ankle. It only lasts a moment, and he assumes Tanner, who is still occasionally levelling apologetic glances at him about the car, is to blame. But a moment later, the touch is back. It lasts longer this time, making its way slowly up his trouser leg.

Across the table, Bond’s lip firms itself ever so slightly, as if it’s trying very hard not to curl into a smile.

Oh, absolutely not.

With a decisive, abrupt snap, Q pulls his leg back and watches as Bond’s body jerks a bit, trying to find equilibrium. Mallory pauses halfway through a sweary sentence about the never-ending red tape of government.

“Are you all right, 007?”

“Fine, Sir. Carry on.”

The rest of the meeting is uneventful, and when it’s all over, Q wipes a few stray croissant crumbs from his trousers, shoulders his bag, and strides out of the room, all with far more force than he might usually do.

Bond, of course, follows. With every step they take towards Q Branch, the prickly outrage in Q’s chest grows. He isn’t one of the nurses in medical, nor is he one of the secretaries who do a terrible job of guarding confidential documents against prying eyes (honestly, he’d managed to get one fired after he’d come home to find Bond sprawled on his couch, calling Q by his real name).

No, Q stands for Quartermaster, and he won’t be charmed into forgetting that by James fucking Bond.

“If your intent was to flirt your way to a luxury car—”

“I already have the car,” interrupts Bond, quite calmly, as they turn into the tea room.

“Then, if your intent was to distract me from your plans to wreck it, it didn’t work. My memory is excellent, 007. I remember the Jaguar I gave you two weeks ago, and the BMW before that. Not to mention the DB10 you drove into the Tiber.”

“For which I bought you a lovely bottle of champagne.”

“For stealing it, not for wrecking it. That leaves two million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, two-hundred and ninety-five pounds on your bill, at least.” Q flicks on the kettle more viciously than he intends. “Am I to expect a briefcase full of cash or a cheque? I’m afraid I don’t accept games of footsie as currency.”

Bond huffs a laugh, and Q tries to quiet the part of his brain that finds that endearing. When Bond speaks again, he’s standing right behind Q. Their blazers brush together, which is all a bit much, to be honest. “If I promised not to wreck the DBS, will you let me away with it in our next meeting?”

Q lets out a derisive snort. “If you manage to bring back that car in one piece, I’ll let you blow me under the bloody desk.”

There’s a beat of silence where they both register that. Q yearns to take it back, if only because it’s probably hinted at the very real desire he has to fuck Bond. Or be fucked by him. Or both. On days like this, it’s hard to imagine which would bring better stress relief. He decides to let it be. It’s out there now; silence and denial are the only defences he has left.

When he next looks at Bond, he’s expecting him to look a bit shut off, in that way most heterosexual men look when they’ve just been propositioned, however flippantly, by a gay man. Instead, Bond’s eyes look him up and down with intent, which — oh, Christ — is far more arousing than it should be. So either Bond is a consummate actor, or—

“A word of warning, Quartermaster.” Bond leans in close enough that Q swears he can feel the touch of lips at his ear. “Never make a bet you’re not prepared to lose.”

Content with having the last word, Bond swans out of the room.

"Shit." Q turns to look at the little cat statue next to the kettle. "Well, I'm not, am I? Going to lose, that is. I bet he's already punctured a bloody tyre."

The cat remains still and ceramic. And for the next few hours, Q tries exceptionally hard not to think how Bond might use his mouth for things more pleasurable than a bout of verbal sparring in the tea room.

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week (#176):

6 new Romanian films:

🍿 After listening to the angelic voice of Maria Coman, I wanted to re-visit some Romanian films.

Acasă, My Home, a raw, unexpected gem! A quiet documentary (with no music score!) about a family of feral Romas (9 kids and their stubborn parents) who live isolated from society, in a nature reserve just outside Bucharest. Filthy, proud, tight-knit and independent, they are eventually chased out of their shack and subsistence living, and struggle with their integration into the system. With a surprise cameo by Prince Charles (WTF?) who shows up for a UN ceremony to plant a tree. Sublime 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes. 9/10.

🍿 Betisoare rock n'roll (2010) a moving short about a deaf woman who goes to a concert, to find the singer. She's his mother who gave him up for adaption 35 years prior. 10/10.

🍿 Bad Luck Banging or Loony Porn, an absurdist, post-modernist riddle by infant-terrible Radu Jude. A history teacher at a secondary school films a sex tape with her husband, but the video leaks on the internet. Everybody around her is scandalized and she has to attend a raucous free-for-all parent conference, where they get to vote if she should be expelled or not.

It's a wild, uneven film. It boldly opens with and features several hardcore pornographic scenes without any excuses. It also uses experimental / structuralist tropes a-la-Godard, which makes this into a jarring experience; The first act basically follows the teacher as she keeps walking through the noisy streets. The second act is a provocative pastiche of images and thought-bubbles which criticizes the schizophrenic, reactionary Romanian society today, dealing with ignorance, sexism, xenophobia, the trauma of history, as well as misinformation during the Covid years. The third act, of the 'trial' against the teacher, offers three different outcomes, including a surprising dream-vision where the teacher turns into Wonder Woman, and she fucks the mouths of all the attendees with a giant silver dildo.

🍿 I was planning on exploring Radu Jude's complete works, but (after that ^) I will continue another time. Instead, I just saw his first touching film The Tube with the Hat (2006). A village boy convinces his dad to take their broken TV set to a repairman in the city. Show, don't tell.

🍿 The dictator and his servant, an odd, experimental short from 1967. Found on 'Cinepub', a free YouTube channel with over 900 Romanian films. [*Female Director*].

🍿 2 Lottery Tickets (2016), a lighthearted and sweet comedy about 3 hapless, bumbling losers from a sleepy provincial town, who win the lottery but lose the ticket. Low-key, but assured directing style, follows wretched situation without condemnation. 8/10.

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Waking Ned is a 1998 feel-good Irish comedy that was the inspiration for '2 Lottery Tickets', the Romanian film above. The plot deals with Ned Devine who dies from a heart attack, when he hears on the telly that his numbers match the big lottery winning numbers. And with the whole tiny village which conspires to claim the big prize money. The simple, rustic wholesomeness is being excessively idolized, but it ends on a surprising twist. 5/10.

[Extra - Not-A-Movie-But - Spark, an infectious rap video that some County Cork kids just made!].

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Barbara Stanwyck X 3:

🍿 Meet John Doe, Frank Capra's wholesome, politically-naive tale. An average Joe Shmoe, an "Everyman", (but one who looks just like Gary Cooper), becomes a lightning rod for a populist 3rd party candidate. An ordinary citizen vs. money and corruption in government. 'Come together' and be 'Nicer to your neighbors'. (Screenshot Above).

🍿 "Use men - to get the things you want!"

Baby face was an extreme pre-Code story of a young woman using sex to advance in the world. Stanwick goes from a 14-year old daughter, sexually-abused by her pimp-father, to a serial seductress who heartlessly ends up with the president of the bank. No wonder The Hays Office was able to clamp down on morality and filth in the movie business around that time. Blatant whoring and early feminist sentiments, mixed with motivation born of reading some Nietzsche philosophy. Too much for the poor plebeians suffering from The depression. With a 2-line cameo by John Wayne. WOW! 8/10.

🍿 "Once I watched my big brother shave..."

Ball of Fire, a 1941 Howard Hawks screwball comedy with a ridiculous premise. A group of stodgy "professors", all bachelors except of one widower, live in an old-fashioned boarding house while writing an encyclopedia. The old men, all foreigners but Gary Cooper, know nothing about sex, but are all titillated when a young woman takes refuge there. They are anti-intellectual, creepy and infantile, and the whole story was difficult to swallow. 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes, but only 1/10 on mine.

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"These are fantastic mushrooms..."

(Not to be too personal, but I feel quite melancholic recently, what with the looming end of the world, destruction of all life, etc. So, the only remedy is to lose myself for the 15th, 16th, Nth time in Palm Springs, and forget that soon we'll all be dead too.) Another (very) frequent re-Watch ♻️.

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The slender thread was Sydney Pollack's first feature film, and also the first film featuring Dabney Coleman. A mixed bag social drama, with young Sidney Poitier working at the then-new suicide prevention hotline, and trying to save the life of Anne Bancroft, who had just ingested a bunch of pills. With a fantastic score by Quincy Jones, and evocative locations of 1965 Seattle. But the psychological play between the the two is dated and ham-fisted. Nobody today would treat her as clumsily and unprofessionally as it was then. 4/10.

RIP, Dabney Coleman!

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Challengers, the new Health and Wealth soft-core porn-drama for bi-curious teenagers. Tennis and Threesomes, served in a slick, non-linear package. Lush cinematography (and irritating tecno-score by the otherwise always-outstanding Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross). Surprisingly (or maybe not), it's the latest from Luca Guadagnino, but doesn't compare to his so much better 'Desire Trilogy'. I wish he would just stay in Italy! 4/10, mostly for the initial seduction scene.

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2 more with Denzel Washington:

🍿 My first by Carl Franklin, Devil in a Blue Dress, a 1948's LA Neo-Noir. It's obvious that they were going for a Chandler style 'Chinatown' clone, but with a black hero, Hunky Denzel in his white undershirt. There was a moment where they even say nearly verbatim "Just find the girl, Mr. Gittes" but without Noah Cross's deep, guttural voice, and definitely without his gravitas. 5/10.

🍿 The Equalizer, a re-watch ♻️. I felt like a silent vigilante movie, and this was is actually pretty good, especially the meticulous, quiet build-up. The violent action portions I could do without. 7/10.

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"...Daddy won't be living here anymore..."

Shut the Door. Have a Seat, one of Mad Men's greatest episodes, Season 3 finale. A perfectly-perfect 47 minutes of pure economic drama. Concise dialogue, compact story telling, classic build up. Everybody's invited to hear unexpected news, by being told to 'sit down'. And it ends with all the suffering characters, from the glacially-beautiful Betty Draper, to Sally, her 10 yer old daughter. moving on with their lives, while Roy Orbison sings 'Shahdaroba' in the background. "When a dream dies... And a heart cries... Shahdaroba Is the word they whisper alone..."Another regular 10/10 Re-Watch ♻️.

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3 by Dutch animator Mascha Halberstad:

🍿King sausage (2022) is a weirdly-animated musical about love among the offals. 2 butchers duke it out in a small town sausage competition. The descriptions of the meats are not for vegetarians. The language sounds extremely harsh. 7/10.

🍿 In Goodbye mister de Vries, a 93 year old man receives a package with his childhood skates, and tries to go skating on the ice one more time.

🍿In the weird Pregnant (2015) a guy pisses up on a pregnancy test thingie, to discover that he's expecting a baby. [*Female Director*].

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I only decided to give the new horror film For sale a try because it looks like the world I knew so well. Shady salesmen and dirty real estate tricks. I knew I would probably hate it, but maybe it will be accurate? However, the actor who played the sleazeball piece of shit Realtor had as much charisma as the character he played, and as soon as the standard "horror" tropes appeared on screen, it was time to pack it in. Couldn't finish it.

I still would like to find some realistic new real estate movies [besides '99 homes', 'The big short', 'Glengarry Glen Ross'...?]

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Chloë Sevigny’s debut film as a director, Kitty (2016). A little girl dreams of becoming a kitten, and then she turns into one. Moody and unsettling. [*Female Director*].

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2 First generation A.I. nightmares by obscure indie director Damon Packard:

🍿 The Man Who Couldn’t Miss Screenings an imaginative agony of a on obese, middle-age cinephile, sitting at home on his computer, being hen-picked by his nagging Chinese wife, who doesn't appreciate his love for the art of moving pictures... All that played against Pink Floyd's 'Comfortably numb'. It hits too close to home. man! Made in 2023, which means that the A.I. is very passé, so this is nearly an historic document. Astounding 9/10!

🍿 The Sleeping Audience, another early onset nightmare fuel about mass scare, audiences sleeping through real messages about the end of the world, but waking up when the 'fake' movie starts. [Terrific, but the audience is all black for some reason- ?]

Apparently this guy had been making indie movies under the rader for 40 years. Many more of his new A.I. shorts can be found on his YouTube channel. (Including the nightmarish Welcome to the machine, which is based on the famous photo of Roger Waters riding the subway...)

(My r/truereddit post about him was deleted for some reasons...)

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(My complete movie list is here).