#this is the second time that i’ve had trouble going to sleep after having it three times in a day and that doesn’t seem like a lot? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zepskies · 4 months ago

Text

Every Second Counts - Part 5

Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader

Summary: One date with your best friend’s brother leaves you wanting more, even though his questionable job and vagabond lifestyle make you want to guard your heart. When your brother falls into trouble, however, Russell is the one you trust to help you find him.

AN: I thought about breaking up this chapter into two parts, but for some reason it didn’t feel right. I hope you enjoy the finale! I think this is the moment we’ve all been waiting for…

Word Count: 7K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Fluff, angst and hurt/comfort, ‘90s movie reference, mutual pining and tension, and a strong dose of smut.

💜 Series Masterlist

Part 5: “Damn Worth It”

You borrowed Russell’s cell to call Dory from the hospital. You let her know that Charlie was stable and resting, and that Russell was bringing you home.

You should’ve known that when you two got there, you wouldn’t have the kind of privacy you craved. Colter and Dory were waiting in his car, parked in your driveway. They met you in front of your house, where Dory pulled you into a big, swaying hug. She cried, you cried, and her brothers hung back to watch the warm scene.

Dory pulled back to get a better look at you. She hesitated to touch the bandage above your brow.

“God. Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m…I’m fine,” you sniffed, wiping at your face. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

Dory actually had your keys. After she handed them to you, you took in a steadying breath, and you unlocked your front door without incident this time. You invited everyone in.

Even though you told her not to, Dory began straightening up a bit for you. She had Russell take out the trash while she washed the dishes.

Meanwhile, you pulled Colter aside in the living room. You led him to sit with you on the couch.

“Can I at least give you $1,000?” you asked. It was all you had left in your savings, but the man had literally saved your brother's life, and yours as well. “I know it’s not much, compared to what your jobs usually get you—”

“Please,” Colter said. He touched your arm. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you and Charlie are safe.”

You teared up all over again, but you gave him a smile and held his hand with both of yours.

“Thank you,” you said.

Russell happened to spot the cozy little scene from the doorway. He couldn’t help staring, and trying not to frown.

When Colter caught sight of his brother loitering (and that look on his face), Colter tried to hide most of his smile. He let go of your hand, patted your shoulder and stood. You followed him to the kitchen, where he went to check on Dory. Russell filtered in behind you both.

“Hey, wanna grab some lunch?” Colter asked his sister.

She gave him a raised brow. “Wow, my brother actually wants to hang out with me instead of rushing off to the next job?”

He gave her an amused look. “I’ve got some time.”

Dory was happy to hear that, but her expression dimmed when she turned to you.

“Would you want to go? Or do you need to rest?” she asked.

“Oh, I need to get cleaned up, and then sleep for about ten years,” you said. “But you go, D. Have fun.”

She frowned. “I don’t want to leave you here by yourself.”

“Well, she won’t be,” Russell chimed in. “I’m gonna hang out here for a bit, clean up and take little power nap myself.”

At that, Dory slowly smiled, both amused and suspicious. Her gaze slid back to you.

“Are you sure?” she asked. You read the double meaning laced in her tone.

“Yeah, definitely,” you said with a smile, and the beginnings of a warm blush. “You guys go ahead.”

There was a knowing gleam to her own smile, but Dory shrugged and gave you one last hug. She and Colter said their goodbyes to their older brother before they headed out. It left you alone in the house with Russell for the first time since this all began.

“Um, you can use the guest bathroom if you want to shower,” you told him. “Towels are under the sink, and feel free to borrow any of Charlie’s clothes if you need.”

“It’s okay, I’ve got a bag in the car with some stuff,” Russell said, tossing a thumb over his shoulder. “I take one wherever I go.”

“Smart,” you nodded. “Very prepared.”

A strange silence stretched between you two, until you couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m just…gonna go clean up,” you said. “We can order some food after?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” he said. He was amused as he watched you scurry off, after giving him another smile over your shoulder.

Though he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel a small trill of nerves himself. It brought him a little bounce in his step as he headed out to his car to grab his stuff.

By the time you were done showering and drying your hair, Russell had ordered a pizza (and a side of fries). You padded out into the living room in an old college shirt and pajama shorts. He tried not to linger his gaze on your smooth, bare legs.

“Sorry, forgot to ask if you’d want something else to eat,” he said.

“Pizza is perfect,” you said. At this point, after almost a full day without food, you’d eat sliced bread out of the bag. You gave him a teasing look. “I’d ask you if you wanted a beer, but I’m afraid it’s not up to your standard.”

“Well, that’s okay. I happen to have brought a sample for you, just like I promised,” he said, with that grin of his you’d come to expect.

He retrieved a case of homebrew from his car, but you had to add some ice cubes into a tall glass before you joined him back on the couch. You poured the contents of a bottle into the glass.

“Sorry, I know this is sacrilege, but I can’t drink warm beer,” you said.

“I can’t fault you, though I didn’t really peg you for a pizza and beer kind of girl,” he said. He tipped a swig of beer into his mouth, right from a lukewarm bottle. He was a purist.

You quirked a brow at him and took another bite of your pizza slice.

“Why not?” you asked, after swallowing a mouthful of pepperoni and mushroom.

Russell shrugged. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

“No, no. I want to hear this,” you said. “What, because I teach college students?”

Russell looked over at you and leaned on his elbow, resting above his knee.

“You’re a college professor with a handful of degrees,” he said. “I’ve got a GED and a give ‘em hell outlook on life.”

You shook your head at that.

“We’re different. That’s not a bad thing,” you said. “And like my brother, you’ve fought for this country. You’ve saved lives, including mine. I’d say that’s pretty damn special.”

His head tilted at that. He didn’t want to remind you that, just like you saw today, he’d taken lives too. Perhaps just as many as he’d saved. You could debate the quality of those lives, but in the grand scheme of things, he knew what he was. A trained killer.

He rolled his shoulders, feeling a familiar weight.

You didn’t like the pensive look on his face, so you aimed to distract him.

“Want to watch a movie?” you suggested.

Russell inclined his head. “Sure. What you got?”

That was how the two of you ended up finishing the box of pizza and a case of beer while laughing at Tommy Boy, of all things—one of the best '90s buddy road trip comedies of all time. Apparently Russell had never seen it before, but you enjoyed watching him experience it for the first time. He had a deep, infectious laugh that made you laugh just by proximity.

Later in the movie, the reluctant, unlikely duo of Tommy and Richard hit a deer, and tried to transport it in the car. Russell both laughed and cringed when the animal woke up and thoroughly wrecked the car from the inside. You noticed his reaction and nudged him in the arm.

Russell held in a grunt of pain when you unintentionally hit his injured shoulder, bandaged underneath his gray henley.

“What if that was the Chevelle,” you teased.

He cast you a playfully chiding look. “Woman, don’t even joke.”

You laughed and squeezed his forearm in a friendly gesture. But he thought there was more than just friendliness when you shot him that little smile. He decided to take a chance.

“Come ‘ere,” he said. He slid a hand around your waist and guided you closer until you came to lay against his side. You allowed yourself to rest against him, splaying your hand flat against the firm wall of his chest. Your heart tripped up faster, but you also relaxed more fully for the first time since you got home. You let out a long breath, and you used the remote to lower the volume on the movie a little.

“Do you think Charlie will be able to get past this?” you asked quietly. “Think he’ll be okay?”

Russell hummed as he thought back to his conversation with your brother in the hospital. Charlie was still young, but he seemed to realize what he’d done, and what he needed to change. He wouldn’t have volunteered himself for rehab if he hadn’t.

Russell brushed your arm with his thumb. “Well, I think he knows what he needs to do. If he’s anything like you, then he’ll be all right.”

Your mouth tugged upward, though you considered his words with a sigh.

“He hasn’t had it easy,” you said. “He was barely eighteen when our parents died. Suddenly he had to be an adult. In fact, he almost didn’t finish high school. Had to take care of the funeral, had to get a job, had to take care of me…and I didn’t always make it easy on him.”

Russell’s lips curved in light of your faint smile. Then, your expression dimmed.

“He pulled me out of the car,” you admitted. Russell looked down at you.

“You all were there?” he asked.

“My dad was driving. We’d just gone out to dinner as a family,” you said.

You hesitated as the scenes once again filtered through your mind. Some things were hazy. Others, you could see with perfect clarity. You remembered how your parents argued about the best way to get home while the pouring rain beat down overhead, half-drowning out their voices.

You remembered what the flash of a red stoplight looked like through the car window, with streams of water coming down, and a dead leaf stuck to the glass.

You remembered the sound of horns blaring in your ears, the crunch of metal on metal. Your mother’s scream. The feeling of being suspended, and then ricocheted painfully through time and space.

Then the smell of exhaust, and the metallic tang of blood.

“We were heading through a terrible storm,” you said, after letting out a long breath through your nose. “By the end of the night, it was just me and Charlie in the hospital.”

He’d broken his arm, but thanks to him, the only thing you really walked away with were a few cuts and bruises, and the memories of that day. They were like old scars, painful and tender at the touch.

Russell shook his head, his brows knitting together. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” you breathed. “And I’m sorry too. I know you understand what it’s like to lose a parent.”

The movie played on as that new weight settled between you. Russell fell into his own thoughts as he continued to rub your arm in comfort. His own past wasn’t like yours, but he did understand some of your pain.

“How much did Dory tell you about how we grew up?” he asked.

You shifted a bit, so you could see his face too.

“I know your dad took you all to a cabin in some sort of compound in the woods, when you all were still pretty young.”

“He taught us to live off the land. Drilled us, really,” Russell explained, noting your raised brows. “Yeah, he was…well, a paranoid bastard, to be frank. We still don’t know all of why, and what drove him to move us out there.”

“Dory said he was…eccentric,” you said. Russell snorted.

“He was a piece of fucking work,” he said. “Half the time I hated him, if I’m honest.”

That part was hard to admit, even if it was true. Your hand soothed across his chest, more comforting as you listened. Russell’s lips quirked. He liked that about you, that you were willing to listen without judging him, or his family. Maybe that was another reason Dory seemed to love you so much.

“But one night, it was like he snapped,” he said.

For a moment, he was lost in the memory. His father’s anger, and the damn crazy look in his eyes.

“What happened?” you asked quietly.

Russell glanced at you again. “I don’t think you wanna hear this right now.”

You shook your head. “No, I do.”

He hesitated, but that earnest look in your eyes got him. Still, he surprised himself when he actually told you. He explained it the best he could, the way he saw it in his mind’s eye.

Their mom had been missing, hadn’t come home yet. Then his dad had torn around the house like a man possessed, until he told them it was time to leave for their own safety. Dory had been scared, especially when he grabbed her, yelled at her.

That was the one thing Russell couldn’t tolerate. So he snapped, yanking the older man back and shoving him away. It was one of the first times Russell had ever defied his father.

Ashton Shaw left them then, heading out into the night and the rain. Maybe he’d realized what he was doing to his own kids, his own family.

Colter wanted to follow after him, but Russell stopped him. Being the eldest, he took on the responsibility, even if he’d been reluctant. We’re better off without him…

He was barely sixteen at the time, but Russell knew he’d seen his father arguing with someone—a man he’d seen before, talking with his mother. And then…

“I watched him die that night,” Russell said.

Your hand clenched in his shirt, reminding him that you were still in his arms, still listening. He remembered that scene, looking over the cliff to find his father’s broken body down below.

“He fell, and I couldn’t stop it,” he said. “And to this day, I still don’t know what all that was about.”

He’d been reluctant to tell even Colter that it still haunted him sometimes; that night, and the not knowing.

You pulled yourself up further so you could meet Russell’s gaze.

“I’m so sorry,” you said.

The movie had long faded into the background, but at least it gave some white noise for the next heavy beat that passed between you two. His eyes eventually fell away from yours.

“It’s old history,” Russell said at last.

“It’s not just history,” you denied softly. “It’s your life.”

He didn’t know what to say to that, so he just hummed in agreement. He encouraged you to relax against him again, with a warm hand on your back. You settled and released another contented sigh. Even though Russell’s story weighed on your heart, you did feel closer to him. It made you feel like you understood Dory better too, and even Colter.

Russell rubbed your arm. “You doin’ okay? You’ve had a long day.”

“Day and night,” you agreed. Your eyes closed against your will. “But, yeah…I think I’m okay now.”

At that, he smiled. He laid a kiss on your forehead.

“Good,” he said.

A few minutes later, Russell heard your soft, deeper breaths in sleep. He chanced grabbing a throw blanket laid over the back of the couch. He managed to toss it over your body, but he made sure it covered you. You shifted in your sleep and curled up more comfortably against him.

Russell smiled down on you fondly. He’d learned a hell of a lot more about you in just the past couple of days, but ever since he met you, he’d been picking up on the important things. The things that made you the woman you were.

And he wanted more, he realized. He wanted more time with you.

That turned out to be the last real thought he had before his eyes closed on him too.

Russell didn’t wake again until the credits on the movie were rolling near the end. You were still knocked out. So he carried you, blanket and all, over to your bedroom.

He smelled the remnants of your floral shampoo and body wash in the air, likely coming from the bathroom. It was an intoxicating mix, one that had infiltrated his nose ever since you came out of the shower today.

It was only 6:00 p.m., but it might as well have been midnight. He laid you down toward the middle of the bed. There was still space on the other side. Very tempting.

She did offer, he thought, remembering what you’d said at the hospital. And yet, he hesitated.

Before he could make a decision, you made it for him. Your hand reached out to hook in his shirt.

Russell looked down at your sleepy smile.

“Get over here,” you said, tugging him downward. He chuckled and wrapped his hand around yours. He allowed you to guide him over, and he somehow managed to roll onto the other side of the bed without crushing you.

“Reflexes like a cat, I tell ya,” he quipped.

You giggled softly. He took off his first layer of defense (his pants), leaving him in his henley and boxer briefs. He settled into bed behind you and slipped an arm around your waist. He fit in snug against your back.

“Mmm,” he sighed. His lips pressed behind your ear, smiling there. “Feels nice.”

“Mhmm,” you agreed.

He couldn’t see your smile, but you held his arm in place. For the first time in a while, you weren’t alone.

In the early morning, you woke up to warmth and closeness. The man in your bed snored lightly, mouth parted in sleep while he faced you. You smiled.

How could a man who felt dangerous, in more ways than one, also make you feel safe? It was a wonder. Though when an idea hit you, you carefully slid out of bed.

Russell eventually roused in his own time. He blinked awake, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He stretched out his limbs in your very comfortable bed. This sure beat rusty motel springs.

He realized that he was alone in the room, but he heard you puttering around the house. He allowed himself to doze some more.

A few minutes later, you returned to greet him with a couple of mugs, drawing him back into the waking world with the rich smell of coffee.

“Aww yeah, that’s the stuff,” he said. He groaned as he slowly sat up.

You laughed and sat beside him on the edge of the bed. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” he said. His voice was deeper and rougher with sleep, washing down your spine pleasantly.

He accepted the mug you offered him. He took a sip and hummed in pleasure at its bold flavor. It wasn’t as sweet as he usually liked it, but it was exactly what he needed right now.

“I just did a little sugar and creamer. That okay?” you asked.

“It’s good,” he nodded. And you looked good, he noticed, with your bed-tousled hair and an open robe over your tank top and little shorts.

“Do you want to meet Dory and Colter for breakfast?” you asked. “Dory texted me this morning.”

Russell’s brows shot up.

“Colt stuck around?” he asked.

“Yeah, Dory asked him to stay at her place last night,” you said. Russell hummed in response.

A bit of an awkward lull fell between you. You’d felt bolder yesterday in the hospital, but now, you weren’t entirely sure what you were doing with a man who just slept somewhat-but-not-altogether platonically in your bed.

“Um, I’ll just…get ready then,” you said, pointing to the bathroom. “You…take your time.”

He cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah.”

He peeled back the covers and climbed out of your bed, away from the sheets that smelled like you.

You watched him go when he headed across the hall back to Charlie’s room. You sighed and beat your hand against your own forehead in frustration. What the hell am I doing?

You’d literally invited him into your bed last night, but he hadn’t done anything more than hold you while you slept. It was incredibly kind, and it said a lot about him, despite his rough-around-the-edges exterior. You were just a little disappointed that he’d been a perfect gentleman about it all.

You rolled your eyes at yourself. What did that say about you?

You shook your head and resolved to freshen up. There was still a cut that the ER nurse covered with a butterfly bandage above your brow. You cleaned it up and applied a new bandage. Then you put on some makeup to cover the ugly bruise on your cheek and the dark circles that lingered under your eyes.

God, look at me. You actually wouldn’t blame Russell for not being into you enough to make a move.

A bit disheartened, you changed out of your pajamas to slip on a nice, but comfortable dress over your bra and underwear. Afterward, you paused to stare at yourself in the mirror for a moment. What exactly do you want here?

“Hey, uh—” Russell’s voice startled you, making you flinch. Maybe you were still jumpy.

He raised an apologetic hand. “Sorry. Just thought I’d ask if you want some toast or something. I don’t think my stomach can wait ‘til we meet up with Dory.”

You smiled faintly. “Sure, go ahead. Whatever’s there, you’re welcome to.”

Russell paused, tilting his head. There was something off with you. He saw it, and felt it.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you said, glancing away.

Russell’s spidey senses began to tingle. He approached you and laid a hand on the counter, inches from yours.

“You sure?” he said. He took in your hesitant face, then the pretty dress you had on. The color matched your eyes. Soulful eyes.

He smiled when you let him see them again.

“Can you see the bruises? I think I covered them up well enough,” you said. You turned to look at yourself in the mirror again, touching your jaw carefully.

Russell’s hand raised to find your cheek, earning your attention with wider eyes. His thumb swept across your skin as you started to blush.

“You’re beautiful,” he said with a smile. “Don’t you worry about that.”

Your face warmed further, despite your smile.

“Yeah, the makeup helps,” you quipped.

“I didn’t say anything about makeup,” he replied. Though he grinned and made a show of looking closer at your face. “Although, have your lashes always been that damn long?”

You laughed, but he didn’t let go of you. Instead, his hand drifted down to your neck, cradling your jaw. His thumb brushed over your lower lip this time, smudging your lipstick a little. Your eyes met his, but they’d already lowered, to the path of his hand. You were tempted to nip at his thumb, or better yet, suck it into your mouth.

Perhaps he read the thought crossing your face. Because when those darkened eyes flicked up to yours, he finally bowed his head to kiss you.

You took in a deep breath, and you melted into his mouth with a moan of wanting. A craving from the depths of your heart, finally being fulfilled.

You didn’t let yourself think anymore. You gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him closer. He cupped the back of your head, tangling his fingers into your hair as he deepened the kiss. His tongue invaded your mouth, and you let him in. You met his every kiss with the same fervor, claiming him right back, demanding just as much.

Your hands slid up his chest and helped him shrug off the green jacket first, then his shirt (Led Zeppelin this time). He hooked an arm around your waist and brought you flush against him, so he could turn you around and walk you back to the bed.

You clung to his bare shoulders and savored the feeling of his warm, calloused hands burning up your thighs and ass, bunching the skirt of your dress. You helped him get it over your head and toss it onto the floor along with his clothes.

As he held you by the waist, his gaze dipped for a moment to take you in, from bare thighs and hips and lacy panties, all the way up to your breasts cupped in your bra. Through panting breaths, you smiled and blushed at the heated depths of his green eyes. You felt like your heart was beating in and out of rhythm.

But you managed to get a hold of your nerves long enough to drag your hands down his chest, down to his belt. You unclipped it for him and took your time in sliding the entire belt out of its loops. Then you let the brown leather fall to the floor.

Russell raised a brow at you, smiling. Taking your challenge for what it was, he unbuttoned his jeans himself and aimed to step out of them, but he had some trouble when one of the pant legs got caught around his ankle and sock-covered foot.

“Shit,” he muttered as he stumbled a little. “Hold on.”

Unable to help a small giggle, you grabbed his left arm to help steady him. He hissed in pain, but he cleared his throat to cover it. You gasped as you realized what you’d done. You noticed then that he had a bandage tightly wrapped above his elbow, right below one of his tattoos.

“What’s this?” you asked in concern. You held his arm with both hands. “Did you get shot? Did you get this looked at when we were at the hospital?”

Russell staved off your questions with a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“It’s okay. This is old, just still healing up,” he said.

You frowned up at him. “You got stabbed, shot, what? When did this happen? I thought you worked in private security.”

“A couple months ago. I got, uh, grazed. Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Sometimes the job gets a bit dicey.”

He could tell though, that you weren’t going to let it go easily.

“Let me see,” you said, trying to peek under the bandage. Russell laughed and gathered you into his arms to stop your attempts. Your concern warmed him, but it wasn’t necessary.

“I’m fine, sweetheart. I promise. Can we focus on the fun part, here?” he said.

Your brows furrowed. You opened your mouth to reply, but Russell saw the testiness in your eyes. He dipped down to kiss you, swallowing whatever snippy remark you were about to make.

You weren’t the only one giving into a craving here. Russell’s was bone-deep, molten in his blood, and getting to see you, to feel your soft body under his hands was already so much better than he’d imagined. His hold tightened on your waist, his fingers pressing into your skin.

A shudder ran up your spine at his touch. You circled your arms around his neck and let him continue ravishing you, then laying you down onto the bed.

While you were careful about avoiding the bandage, your hand did drift down his arm, and further still, to palm at the straining bulge pressing against you. And Jesus Christ, did it feel generous. He grunted at your touch and paused with his lips against your jaw.

“Well hey there, cowboy,” you said, adopting a more sensuous tone. “I had a feeling you’d be packing. What’s that, a .45, or a 38 Special?”

Russell’s eyes blinked wide. Then he erupted with deep laughter that made his shoulders shake. Aside from throwing a punch, your brother must’ve taught you something about guns too.

“Well thank you, kindly,” Russell said, putting on a bit of a southern drawl, just to tease you. “But you’re about to find out, naughty girl.”

You giggled as he began to kiss your neck, languid and sloppy. He blazed a wet trail down the column of your throat and between your breasts. His beard rasping against your skin made you shudder a little, but it wasn’t unpleasant. In fact, you quite liked that a lot.

He slipped a hand underneath you to unclip the black lace. You arched into him so he had easier access.

He slid the bra from your body and tossed it somewhere behind him. Just as he’d imagined, you had beautiful tits. His lips explored each of them in turn, squeezing supple flesh and rolling your sensitive, hardened nipples with his tongue and fingers.

It was a prequel, you thought, for what talents that mouth might have further down. You had to moan just at the idea, your fingers clenching in his hair, but also at the sensations he was drawing from your body wherever he touched. The man clearly knew what he was doing.

He traveled lower still and laid slow, occasionally nipping kisses across your stomach, hips and thighs. His fingers hooked around your panties and lowered them down your legs. You felt his warm breath panting against your thigh. You glanced down at him and tensed in anticipation.

“Still good?” he checked, squeezing your hip. You smiled and reached for his hand. Russell gave it to you, brushing his thumb over the back of your hand in affection.

“I think I’m about to be,” you said cheekily.

He smirked. His other hand smoothed up the inside of your thigh and slipped past your folds, finding wetness that already coated his digits.

“Goddamn. You’re soaked,” he said, just a hint teasing. “Bet if I put my mouth on you, you’d fuckin’ drown me.”

Again, he stopped whatever smart quip you were about to levy at him next when his fingers found your clit. You let out a gasping moan instead.

He decided that he already loved that sound. He endeavored to pull it from you, again and again when he began working you open with his fingers and pumping them inside you. He enjoyed seeing you writhe and arch against his hand. Your hands squeezed his arms, his shoulders, trying to anchor yourself.

His thumb circled and strummed your clit in a rhythm only he could hear in his head, until you couldn’t help biting your nails into his shoulders when you came. You shuddered your release as your core throbbed with warmth and slick around his fingers.

“Fuck, that’s my girl,” he said. His voice rasped deep with arousal. “Wouldn’t even mind if you did drown me.”

You huffed in response, unable to form speech just now.

Next time, Russell thought. He slipped his fingers out of you and licked them clean, making your eyes widen. He smirked and stroked your thigh as you came down, a shuddering mess.

After taking a second to regain your breath, you pulled him down for a kiss, both grateful and fueled by a passion you couldn’t put into words. What you felt for this man was instinctual, from the moment you saw him. And yet, it was also so much more. It was raw, and real, and maybe even beautiful.

The thought spurred you on as your hands moved with purpose down his body. Your nails caught at the waistband of his boxer briefs as you tried to roll them down. You got it halfway down his thighs, enough to let his hardened length spring free. You bit your lip at the mere sight of him. Goddamn.

Your hand slid around his cock, near its weeping head. You used the beads of wetness there to work your way smoothly down to its base. Russell’s body tensed above you, just before he groaned low in pleasure.

You pushed at his chest to have him let you up.

“Your turn, baby,” you said. It would be one hell of a challenge to get your mouth down that beautiful 44 Magnum, but you were more than willing to try.

To your surprise, Russell shook his head and guided you back down.

“Let’s pin that one for next time too. Wanna be inside you already,” he said.

You blinked, but then you nodded in breathless agreement. He kissed you deeply, devouring you with his teeth grazing your bottom lip. His tongue soon slipped out to soothe it.

“Condom?” he panted, between kisses.

“Oh, yeah. Um…bathroom, bottom drawer,” you whispered, though you weren’t sure why you were whispering.

“Okay, two seconds,” he said.

He left you in the bed, quite literally hot and bothered, and very naked. You crossed your arms over your breasts on reflex while you tried to recover. Your core was still tingling, and your heart was beating fast, though you couldn’t stamp out the smile forming on your face.

You heard the sound of foil unwrapping and clothed rustling. When he came back to the bedroom, you finally got a full picture of what you were in for. You unconsciously licked your lips as your gaze dipped down his body, and the indeed impressive package at full mast, and full display.

A grin curved his lips when he caught you staring. He climbed back onto the bed with just a bit of struggle with all the blankets coiled about. He pushed a heavy blanket out of his way, accidentally shoving it to the floor.

“Back to business,” he said.

“Oh, yeah,” you agreed, and you welcomed him back, sliding your hands up his arms and shoulders. You hooked your thigh around his hip as he found his way back between your legs. Holding his bearded face in your hands, you pulled him in for another kiss that reignited you both.

He sunk his hand into your hair and treated you to another slow, deep kiss. Until your thigh tightening around his hip urged him to satisfy what you both had been wanting and waiting for.

He grabbed your thighs and angled you higher. Then he lined himself up at your entrance. Looking into your eyes, your breaths mingling together, he sheathed himself a little at a time. A keening moan fell from your lips.

He started with shallow thrusts, giving you time to adjust. But that in itself was a torturous tease. It made the coil in your lower belly start to tighten again. Pleasure began to thrum inside you, ever slowly. Your head tipped back into the pillows with a gasp.

“God, Russell, please,” you uttered. You squeezed his arms on reflex, your heels digging into his ass.

“I know, baby. Gonna fucking wreck you, I promise,” he said with a grin.��

You huffed in amusement. That was a hefty promise.

Though a moan tore from your throat when he finally bottomed out, stretching your inner walls. He groaned along with you. His lips fastened to your neck as he gave you deeper thrusts.

“You feel so good,” you said raggedly in his ear, raking your fingers through his hair. You felt every damn inch of him.

“You too, baby. So damn good,” he gritted out. “Tell me what you want.”

He raised your thigh a bit higher, his fingers pressing into flesh.

“Ugh, fuck,” you gasped, as he hit a particularly delicious angle. “Whatever you want to give me.”

“You sure about that?” Russell asked, panting against your neck. Your nails dragged down his back between the muscles in his shoulders, hard enough to earn a halting groan from him.

You nodded emphatically. “Yes!”

His lips hinted at a smile. “Okay, hold on."

Before you could even respond, he pulled out of you all the way, just so he could guide you over onto your stomach. He pulled you up onto your hands and knees. As he ran a hand down the gentle slope of your back and around the curve of your ass, you breathed harder in anticipation.

“So damn beautiful,” he muttered.

You glanced at him over your shoulder. You unconsciously bit your lip as your heart couldn’t help but swell at his words. Russell met you with a look that betrayed his desire, making your lower belly tremble as well.

He parted your cheeks and slotted himself between your thighs from behind. You once again felt the head of his cock nudging at your entrance, and then pushing back in with one deep plunge. Both of you let out moans of relief at the feeling.

Pretty soon, he was pounding into you deeper and faster than before. Oh, fuck yes…

You clawed at the headboard, trying to find something to keep you stable. Russell’s arm slid around you for a solid support. You held onto him right back with one hand while he continued to drive into you, earning each and every sound coming out of your mouth. He’d finally angled you just right, so he could hit that special spot inside you with every thrust. Your pussy clenched on him in response, making him grunt in pleasure.

“Fuck, you’re close. I can fuckin’ feel it,” he said, panting. He laid a biting kiss where your neck met your shoulder. You cried out in both pain and pleasure, your inner walls once again squeezing on him.

“Yeah,” you nodded, breathless. “This time, you’re gonna come with me.”

You reached back and tangled your fingers into his hair. He held you to his chest and squeezed your breast a bit roughly. You uttered a wanton sound. You dragged his hand down your body to part your folds. You used his fingers to press against your clit.

He picked up your hint, and then took control, massaging you with his fingers. There you began to tremble from the inside out. Warmth emanated from your core and spread outward, down to your toes as you came even harder on his cock.

Russell wasn’t far behind. His voice joined yours as his body locked up, and he spilled hot into the condom. You almost wished he’d come freely inside you, so you could really feel him. Regardless, your body was boneless when he lowered you down onto the bed afterward.

“Holy shit,” you breathed.

He chuckled and kissed your shoulder, before he fully pulled out. Panting for breath though you both were, you managed to twist onto your side and reach a hand for his cheek. Your fingers slipped higher from there, cupping the back of his neck. Your thumb swept tenderly across his cheek, and you guided him down for a proper kiss.

Russell obliged you, his lips meeting yours plush and wet. He brushed strands of your sweaty hair away from your forehead with affection.

Somehow, that last kiss was softer than all the rest.

One thing was for sure though. There was no way you two were making it to breakfast.

“I kind of feel bad now,” you later confessed.

You and Russell were taking a few minutes just to recover under the messy sheets. He held you while sitting up against your headboard. He almost craved a smoke. You’d given him a damn workout.

He smirked at the thought. Admittedly, his mind was more on focused on the scenes replaying in his head than on what you were saying.

“Dory doesn’t get to see you guys that often,” you continued, “and who knows how long Colter will seriously wait for us to get out of bed.”

Russell’s attention drifted back to you at that.

“Come on, it’s not like they know why we’re running late,” he said. You gave him a knowing look.

“Are you kidding? They were already suspicious when you brought me home yesterday,” you replied with a laugh.

Russell grinned and rubbed your arm. He knew you were probably right, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Yeah, well. That was damn worth it,” he said.

You smiled. You rolled your head over on his shoulder, so you could see his face, but you became contemplative as uncertainty crept in. You let in a breath to gather your courage, and you decided to take a chance.

“You know, drug dealers aside, Laramie isn’t such a bad place to live,” you pointed out. “We’ve got a movie theater, a couple good outlet malls, a new Tex-Mex restaurant that just opened down the street. I’m gonna have to find a new bar though.”

Russell smiled at you. He knew what you were suggesting.

He sighed as his amusement faded.

“Look, even if I stay…” he hesitated.

He looked into your eyes and saw the vulnerability there. You were being honest with him, putting your heart into his hands. The least he could do was be honest. He covered your hand where it rested on his chest.

“If I’m on a job, I could be gone weeks at a time. I won’t be able to tell you where I am or what I’m doing. That’s gonna be hard on you,” he said.

He knew his friend Doug made it work with his wife, but their relationship wasn’t without friction because of the job he and Russell shared.

“I can handle it,” you said firmly.

“You just had a little freak out over a scratch earlier,” Russell pointed out, with a gesturing hand at his bandaged arm.

“Okay, that’s different,” you said.

You wouldn’t say it now, but there were things that still concerned you about his job. You had a strong feeling that "private security" wasn’t all it entailed. However, after what he’d done for you, after what he’d done for Charlie, you knew that Russell Shaw was a good man.

There was something good here, and you didn’t want to lose it this time. You shifted in his arms, so you could face him.

“Look, we can sit down and figure all that out,” you said. “But do you want to at least try? Or…am I reading this wrong?”

Russell stared back at you ruefully. He raised a hand to touch your cheek, grazing your soft skin with his fingers.

“No, you’re not,” he said.

In fact, what he felt already ran deeper with you than he’d like to admit. He let out a long breath through his nose.

“Okay,” he said at last. “If we’re gonna do this, let’s do it right, I guess. I’ll book a motel here in town for now. If things go well, I can…I don’t know, find an apartment.”

Your answering smile broke him down further, even as it warmed him inside. You turned over to circle your arms around his neck, and as an added bonus, pressing your bare breasts against his chest. You kissed his cheek with a happy hum. He laughed at your enthusiasm. He also accepted your sweet path of kisses that led to his lips.

He groaned when it became not so sweet, with your tongue slipping hotly against his. His hold on your hips tightened.

“Uh oh. Baby, we can’t do this now,” he chuckled, even though your hand was already wandering down his body and under the sheets. You both were supposed to be getting ready to meet his brother and sister for lunch.

“Five minutes,” you said against his lips. All the while, you were pushing him back onto the bed. You began to kiss down his chest, and lower still.

Russell snorted. Right.

But he wasn’t about to argue with you. He had a gut feeling…one that made him almost certain.

He’d found where he wanted to be.

AN: Well, then! I hope you enjoyed the "happy ending." 😘 I always get a bit sad at the end of a series, but thank you to everyone who's followed the ride on Every Second Counts. Let me know what you thought of how it all shook out here at the end between her and Russell! 💜

Read the Sequel:

Want more ESC? Read the next one-shot, Lost Time (18+):

Summary: When Russell takes longer than usual on a job out of town, you realize how hard it is to live half a life with him.

▶️ Keep Reading: Lost Time

Series Masterlist

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Russell Shaw Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Russell S. Tag List:

@kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007

@wincastifer @ades106 @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @roseblue373

@brianochka @branj19 @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog @globetrotter28 @charmed-asylum

@waywardxwords @deanwinchestersgirl87 @this-is-me19 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady

@leigh70 @clinicallydepresso @xiphoidbones @skoveu @nyotamalfoy

@kmc1989 @jackles010378 @emily-winchester @waynes-multiverse @jessjad

@my-stories-vault @deans-spinster-witch @syrma-sensei @stellasfictionalworld @ultimatecin73

@jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @pieandmonsters @lhymer1995 @taehyungxjungkookistaekook @lovelystoriesaj

@nicksalchemy1 @spnwoman @onlyangel-444 @sexyvixen7 @illicithallways

@wolkenprinzessin007 @alwaystiredandconfused @carpenterswife @cheynovak @grilledcheeseandtomato

280 notes · View notes

rebelfell · 14 days ago

Note

spoilers for Special Delivery Cinematic Universe (SDCU 🍕) sort of but I gotta ask. did Eddie wait until we fell asleep to relieve himself of his massive boner? did he try to sleep it off? did he have a wet dream about us?? MORNING WOOD??? 🤨🎤 spill, Sarah‼️

Babe, have I told you lately I’m obsessed with you? Pls have something soooooo stupid from my brain for your troubles 😉

It didn't take long at all for your breathing to turn deep and even. No more than a minute after you came had you fallen fully and completely asleep. And Eddie might’ve drifted off right behind you, were it not for one very pressing matter.

Quickly and silently as he could, he slipped out from underneath your comforter and skulked off to the bathroom in shame. The front of his boxers were a mess—darkened with splotches of precum already beginning to dry and fucking freezing when they stuck obstinately to his skin.

He'd come way too close to blowing completely, rutting against your mattress over and over while he explored your folds and lost himself wholly in chasing your release. And he’d genuinely almost exploded when you reached down to touch him.

But he didn't want it to happen like that.

He'd been waiting for this so long, he didn't want to ruin it and your sheets in one fell swoop.

He was paying the price now, though. His cock was angry and aching, twitching like it knew you were still in the next room. Screeching like a little kid in the backseat of a minivan who spied the Golden Arches through the windows.

For like a millisecond, he considered taking care of it right there. There was a whole stack of fluffy hand towels on the sink just beckoning. He could probably sneak it out with him, burn it like it was a piece of damning evidence in a murder trial, use the pizza oven as an incinerator—

Eddie’s head fell forward, unable to even look at himself in the mirror at that thought.

What if you woke up? What if you heard him?

What if you appeared in the doorway with a coy smile and a flirty wink when you caught him in flagrante and asked if he needed a hand?

No, no, no, NO—thinking like that was not going to help this problem go away anytime soon.

But the pizza oven did give him an idea…

"Yyyyyyellow?"

Argyle answered his phone chipper as ever even at nearly two o’clock in the morning. And Eddie whispered his own greeting, glancing over his shoulder, keeping an ear out for you.

“Oh, heeeeeeey buddy,” Argyle replied, sounding entirely too pleased with himself. Outright smug. “Whatcha doin’ on this bueno notte?”

Reluctantly, Eddie admitted he was calling from your bathroom. And then had to pull the phone away from his ear as Argyle's loud whoop threatened to crack his eardrums.

“I fucking knew it, man! You're welcome by the way. So what happened? Did you stuff her crust? She tie your garlic knot?”

“Arg, please—”

“What?! I'm sorry, I masterminded this whole freakin' thing and don't even get the dirty deets? That's bogus, man. Last time I help you get laid.”

"Arg, seriously. I've got a problem here. I, uh...I got myself kinda worked up while we were…doing stuff. And now I’ve gotta sleep next to her—”

“Ahhh, gotcha. Say no more, compadre. As usual, I’ll take care of this,” he said.

"Wait, what? What are you gonna do?" Eddie hissed into the receiver, but the line had already gone dead. And not two seconds later, his phone buzzed in his hand as a message came through.

Eddie tapped the notification to open it and just about groaned out loud, barely catching himself in time to stop the sound as his screen filled with a grainy picture of Argyle’s fully bare ass.

dude, what the fuck???

desperate times, my man. u lowered your flag pole or do I need to break out the big guns? (the big guns are my nards)

Eddie rolled his eyes and started hastily typing back, only to stop when he realized the pressure in his lower half had been substantially relieved. He deleted the angry message he’d started to write and replaced it with another one.

keep the big guns holstered.

thanks

#idk what it is about you my love #you make me wanna write silly stuff #asks #bonus scene #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader

160 notes · View notes

chrollogy · 5 months ago

Text

iv. NEW YEAR BLUES

miya atsumu x f!reader

── next: v. Misunderstandings | series masterlist

synopsis: After sending a risky text to Atsumu, you avoid your phone the next morning like a ticking time bomb until curiosity gnaws at your skin but it doesn’t take long before you cave. Thus, with a bated breath, you brace yourself for his response.

chapter content warning: college au, angst heh, shrine visit (poor depiction), implied alcohol use, tipsy reader (maybe a dumbass too), miya atsumu is an even bigger dumbass, hinata mention LMAO, mutual pining, slow burn, requited unrequited love, miscommunication (it just got even worse. rip.), not beta read.

word count: 4.1k

notes: divider: cafekitsune. woweeee one more chapter and then we’re done ehehehehe >:)

It was quarter to two.

The mellow hum of Hyōgo’s early winter morning settled into Atsumu’s bones like a pair of invisible shackles, holding him hostage between the borders of sleep, and sobriety. On other nights, it lulled him to slumber without any problem but not tonight, not when his mind was plagued with thoughts of you.

Out of all times, his brain decided to recount every single moment with you from the trip. First, it was the happy, mellow memories of the first day—stolen glances full of yearning, his crimson-tinged cheeks, and fluttering heartbeats, and then came the uncomfortable haze that drove a wedge between the two of you. God, Atsumu didn’t even want to think about that moment on the boat.

Atsumu was fully aware that you knew his response was a complete lie but could you really blame him? What difference would it have made if he said ‘yes’? At the end of the day, what he felt for you was one-sided, nothing was going to change the fact that you only viewed him as a friend.

In fact, maybe this wall between the two of you was the cure to his yearning heart—a space to help him move on, and forget the familiarity of loving you.

As Atsumu’s caramel gaze bore into the ceiling above, tracing the moonlit glow that seeped from the window, his phone illuminated the dark room for a brief second, a tinge of blue catching his attention.

Mindlessly reaching for his device that lay on the wooden nightstand, he let out a tired sigh, honeyed eyes squinting at the sudden brightness that invaded his vision. Letting his eyes adjust, Atsumu carefully read the notification banner on the lock screen.

It was a message from you. His heart violently stuttered. Thank goodness for the tight grip he had or else his face would’ve been aching from his phone falling on it.

As if on instinct, Atsumu sat up, clearly sobered up from the fact that you texted him at almost 2 AM. Were you perhaps also having trouble sleeping? Atsumu wondered if your mind was also filled with thoughts the past few days—thoughts of him. He could only fantasise.

The blonde positioned himself against his headboard before clicking onto your message with a shaky digit, and a thundering heartbeat.

It was an absurdly long paragraph.

‘hey. i know you’re asleep right now, and you’ll probably see this in the morning but whatever :) . .’

Atsumu swallowed thickly. For some reason, he felt oddly nervous about this message but at the same time, anticipated the context behind it. Maybe you were trying to salvage whatever was left of the friendship? Or maybe you just wanted to cuss him out with a long, detailed message.

Nonetheless, Atsumu kept reading,

‘. . . i’m not going to beat around the bush or anything so i’ll get straight to the point. i like you. i’ve had feelings for you since highschool and i know it’s cowardly of me to confess over text but i don’t mind being called one.

god, i cannot even remember the feeling of my heart acting normal around you. my heart is so painfully familiar to yearning for you that it hurts. whenever i see you, i just can’t seem to act right. i hate how my heart stutters, how my cheeks heat, how my body suddenly doesn’t know how to act normally. it’s bittersweet because i feel guilty for falling in love with a close friend but also i’m not ashamed of it because you’re so amazing, and caring.

i cherish you a lot, tsumu, i really do and i know you do too but i don’t think it's in the way i want you to. i’m not pressuring you for an answer or anything because i already know you don’t like me back but that’s okay. i don’t know what will happen after this but just know that i really admire our friendship.

like i said before, you don’t have to reply to this. i just really needed to get all the pent up feelings out of my chest so i can finally move on :) just give me some time to be myself again.’

One word. Speechless. Miya Atsumu was speechless.

There were so many goddamn emotions that ran through every single fibre of his body to the point where his brain couldn’t process it all. Atsumu didn’t know whether to be ecstatic with the fact that—holy shit—you reciprocated his feeling, or to be frustrated with the fact that you thought it was one-sided.

His heart hammered against his chest, the pounding of it reaching his very ears. He was so fucking nervous that he breathed through his parted lips, honeyed eyes re-reading every single word you typed. The winter chill that filled his room went awfully warm, mirroring the crimson tinge that painted his cheeks.

So he was the one you were talking about back then; that drunken confession where you told him you had feelings for a certain someone.

Atsumu didn’t know what to do—didn’t know what to respond.

In all honesty, you put him in a very tough spot. How was he supposed to respond after confessing your feelings but also stating that you did not, in fact, sought an answer. Not to mention how you practically put words in his mouth.

Who were you to decide if Atsumu reciprocated your feelings or not?

The blonde took a deep, shaky breath, palms sweating as he gripped the device. Atsumu knew he needed to respond with a calculated mind—as tempting as it was, he wasn’t going to let his heart lead this time.

Not when his mind painfully reminded him of the conversation you two had,

“I don’t even think I’m ready for a relationship.” “So . . yer jus’ gonna confess for the sake of movin’ on? Even if he likes ya back?”

He vividly remembered the way you solemnly nodded to his question, a sad, subtle smile lingering on your lips as if to reassure yourself that you’ll be okay.

Atsumu closed his eyes, letting the sounds of crickets chirping outside consume him. The gears in his head turned, and turned, working overtime to come up with a response. He had to be sensible, whatever he replied was surely going to change the course of your bond, forever.

Though, there was only one thing he knew—to respect your decision.

The morning came rather quickly, early rays peeked through your window, mellow hues of yellow, and orange painted the ivory walls of your room to cast a warm, inviting glow—a reminder of the impending day ahead.

As you reached for your device to check the time, you were greeted with a black, unlit screen, your sleepy reflection staring back. Oh, that’s right. You had turned it off right after sending that risky text message to Atsumu, wanting nothing to do with it.

Vivid memories of last night came flooding in, filling every corner of your mind. All the words you typed down, the feelings that came with it, the hammering of your heart—it came back to you, and now, you were twice as nervous. You wondered if Atsumu had already read your message, even more curious about his response—if he did send one back.

Just thinking about it made your head dizzy. There was a ray of hope tucked neatly at the bottom of your heart, it wasn’t big but you held onto it like it was the most precious thing.

You let out a sigh, and tossed the device on your bed before getting ready to brave the winter day ahead. There were four more days before the new year rolled around—how you were going to spend the last two days heavily depended on Atsumu’s response.

It was inevitable. Every now, and then, your eyes mindlessly wandered to the device that lifelessly lay atop your sheets, its blackened screen inviting you to turn it on. You turned your room upside down for anything to distract you from the silent beckoning of your device—from re-reading your favourite manga to blankly staring at the ceiling above.

There was even an urge to read a syllabus from one of your new classes this coming semester.

Four hours. You lasted four dreadful hours before curiosity settled into your skin like a painful bite—no matter how much you ignored it, it seemed to worsen.

And with a hammering heartbeat, and sweaty palms, you turned it on. Patiently waiting, you watched as it displayed the brand logo, and then a few seconds before it loaded your lock screen. A heartbeat passed as the device showed several notifications from last night, and this morning. Disregarding them, you scrolled straight down until Atsumu’s message notification came into view.

You sucked in a breath.

The thread of messages between you two quickly popped up as you clicked on the notification. Bracing yourself, your eyes wander down to the start of his response—god, it was equally as long.

It was sent at 2 AM. It made you even more nervous after realising that Atsumu was indeed still awake when you had sent the message.

‘hey :) first of all, i’m very thankful that you had the courage to bring this up to me so please don’t call yourself a coward, i know how hard it is to try and confess to someone. i find it admirable, really. i think it’s brave of you to decide something like this.

secondly, i am over the moon after finding out you have feelings for me. it feels such an honour to be loved by a close friend so thank you again for letting me know. like you said, i, too, cherish our friendship. i don’t know what will become of our bond after this but just know that i am very glad to be friends with you.

thirdly, as you’ve mentioned in your message, i don’t feel the same way. .’

You stopped reading to stare at the ceiling above, a foolish smile plastered upon your lips—it conveyed anything but happiness.

Oh.

So, you were right. Atsumu didn’t feel the same way.

That little bundle of hope deep inside your heart disappeared, dissolving into nothing but what seemed like distant memories—memories of your saccharine moments together.

God, you already had a feeling he didn’t like you back but why did it feel like a hard slap on the face? As if reeling you back into dull reality after a haze of fantasy. This was what you wanted, right? To confess with rejection in mind so you could finally move on. But now that the answer lay right before you on a silver platter, why didn’t you want to move on?

You mustered every single bit of your strength to read the rest of his message, vision becoming blurry as tears slowly formed.

‘. . . you’re such a great friend. don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful both inside and out but my feelings for you are just platonic. i’m really sorry that i don’t reciprocate your feelings. i don’t know how much this will affect you but just know that if you want me to stay away, i will. it’s the least i can do to help you move on.

you’re an amazing person, and there are a lot of other guys out there who deserve you so much but i am not one of them. again, thanks for letting me know.’

You didn’t even realise hot tears started rolling down your cheeks until it hit the screen with a soft sound, one by one, droplets of tears scattered the surface of your device as if to wash away all of Atsumu’s words

A weird feeling blossomed in your chest, extending its sharp roots down to your stomach where it painfully planted itself. The grip on your phone tightened, other hand clutching—clawing—at your heavy heart, wanting to take it out from the confines of your ribcage and mend it with your own shaky hands.

Everything felt completely still, birds that hummed their usual morning song were no more, mellow sounds of the city became distant as you let yourself wallow in complete sadness.

It was odd, you felt nothing, and everything at the same time—the ugly feeling in your chest, the sting behind your eyes, the impending headache from your stuffy nose. Atsumu’s words repeated inside your mind, plagued it like an invasive plant which invited more pain to your strained heart.

‘I don’t feel the same way. My feelings for you are just platonic.’

It wasn’t just cupid’s stupid arrow agonisingly digging into the core of your heart, no, it also felt like he had wrung your heart dry with his bare hands, and he was laughing about it.

You felt like a fucking fool. Especially for hoping that somewhere down the line, Atsumu felt the same way.

The last two remaining days of the year were a complete haze, navigating through the last moments with a clouded mind, and an unmendable heart while putting on a brave face. And as the clock struck midnight on the 31st, you put on the happiest smile you could muster in front of your parents, and welcomed the new year with uncertainty. You tried not to think about Atsumu’s words but they were seared into your mind, a mocking reminder of your unreciprocated feelings.

It wasn’t long before the first morning of the new year greeted you with clear skies, and warm rays, paired with an early call from Suna. You already knew the reason for his call—of course, one cannot celebrate the new year without hatsumōde.

“It’s a surprise you picked up my call, you haven’t been answering my texts. Anyway, the twins, and I are visiting the shrine, coming?”

“How about Kita?” You asked. “He’s going with his grandmother tomorrow.”

With a sigh, you hesitantly agreed. It's only been two days since the confession, and you could already feel the awkwardness, and pain seeping into your bones. You knew you weren’t even ready to face Atsumu yet but you’ve never turned down a shrine visit from your friends, especially on new years.

Before you knew it, the crisp winter air engulfed your body. Clad in thick layers of clothes, you walked the quiet footpath to the local shrine, heart hammering against your chest with every step taken closer to your friends—to Atsumu.

His flaxen locks were easy to spot, standing out amongst the crowd of people with raven strands. Your heart violently stuttered but you kept your eyes on Suna, putting on a bright smile to greet them. They stood just before the grand torii gate which led straight to the shrine itself.

“Glad ya could make it.” Osamu greeted you with a hug, followed by Suna.

Throughout the whole exchange with the two men, you could feel Atsumu’s burning gaze on the side of your face, and god, was it an extreme sport to ignore it. The two didn’t notice the way you, and Atsumu awkwardly greeted one another—a tight-lipped smile, and a brief eye contact. You felt small, and naked under his honeyed gaze but it wasn’t anything intimate, you guessed this was the consequences of baring the contents of your heart two nights ago.

Tugging at the neckline of your clothes, you began to grow uncomfortable at the awkwardness that made itself known.

You weren’t going to lie, Atsumu looked devastatingly handsome as ever, and it pained your heart even more. Though, he had this familiar expression painted on his face—the one he always wore whenever he was upset about something. It was subtle but you noticed the way his bottom lip jutted out ever so slightly, the light crease between his thick brows.

It was hard not to wonder what Atsumu was upset about.

After showing respect by bowing at the torii gate, the four of you fell into a step. Since it was the first day of the new year, the shrine was packed with families, friends, couples and people alike; some were at the chōzuya—water purification pavilion—to purify their body & mind while others were already lined up to pay respects at the main shrine building.

Keeping to the sides of the main path, You, Suna, and Osamu fell into a mellow conversation—talking about the new year ahead, and the upcoming semester. Surprisingly, Atsumu didn’t join in the conversation, hands tucked deep inside the pockets of his jacket, he stared hard at the concrete beneath.

It shouldn’t bother him but it did.

You were the one who got rejected so why was he more upset about the situation? Why were you able to easily slip into a cheerful conversation with Osamu, and Suna while acting like nothing happened two nights ago? Atsumu half expected you to not even turn up today, he had to practically stop himself from overreacting after the brunette stated you’d come.

Well, it was good that you were already moving on but whatever. Atsumu decided shoving away the weird feeling in his chest was the best option.

After doing the ceremonial purification rite at the chōzuya, the four of you headed at the back of the line for the main shrine. It didn’t take too long until it was your turn, Suna, and Osamu went ahead first which left you, and Atsumu to pair up.

Watching as your two friends prayed at the shrine, you dug your nails into the plush of your palms, awkwardness eating away at you. It felt like everyone’s eyes were burning holes on both your’s, and Atsumu’s backs—as if they all knew what happened between the two of you a couple of nights back; it also didn’t help how you could practically feel Atsumu’s not-so-subtle stares from the side.

Sighing, you spoke to him for the first time since that moment at the boat, “If you’re uncomfortable with me, I’m more than happy to do it alone.”

You didn’t dare look at him, even when he fully turned to face you. It was dangerous, one look into his gaze, and you’d be a sobbing mess.

“It’s not that. It’s just . .”

Atsumu’s sentence trailed off as he noticed you walking up to the shrine. He closed his lips and silently followed, heart weighing heavy with every unspoken word that plagued his mind.

The two of you did the customs as usual: ringing the bell, tossing a 5 yen coin into the wooden saisen-bako, bowing twice, and clapping twice before praying. You, and Atsumu stayed still for a moment, eyes closed, and palms glued together to wish for good luck in the new year ahead. Ending the prayer with another bow, the two of you joined Osamu, and Suna.

“I saw ‘em distributin’ amazake. Wanna go grab some?” The younger twin pointed a thumb over his shoulder. His brother, and Suna agreed rather quickly, their throats bobbing at the mention of the sweet treat.

Feigning a yawn, you spoke up, “I think I’ll head home now. I didn’t really get much sleep last night.” This earned a unison of disgruntled sounds from Suna, and Osamu whereas Atsumu wordlessly looked over your way.

It wasn’t like you were lying, you really didn’t get much sleep, especially after waiting for the clock to strike midnight but it wasn’t like lack of sleep bothered you, no, it was the growing feeling in your chest the longer you spent time in Atsumu’s presence.

Bidding your friends a good bye, you headed home, each step taken away from Atsumu somewhat eased the strain in your heart.

Never in a million years would your old self believe that the feeling of being away from Atsumu brought a sense of comfort, a tranquillity in your heart. Albeit, not easy—nothing ever was when you’re taming a yearning heart—there were days where the urge to bask in his presence were strong, and there were days where you felt fine without Atsumu around.

Safe to say, your year started with the much dreaded new year blues.

Ever since the new semester started, you’ve busied yourself with assignments, weekly quizzes, and whatever else that allowed you to make several excuses just to not see Atsumu—whether it be movie nights at the twins’ apartment, afternoon library sessions, or simply just coffee runs with the group, you had an excuse

Before you knew it, it had already been a little over two weeks since you’ve confessed—two weeks since you last saw Atsumu at the shrine. Two weeks, and your feelings never wavered for him, not even once, that was the stubbornness you were dealing with.

“Whatever, I’ll come by your place tonight, and drag you out if I have to.”

You groaned, “Suna.” He said your name with an equally serious tone, his dulcet voice spilling from the speakers of your phone.

“You’ve been holed up in your room since forever, and we haven’t seen you that much. I miss you, the twins miss you, and Kita misses you. It’s just a few hours to let loose.”

“Isn’t it a bit too early in the semester to party? Also, Kita’s coming?” You tried your best to ignore the fact that your heart stuttered at the mention of the twins missing you. Atsumu missed you? Before you could pick Suna’s words apart, he spoke into the line,

“It’s not a party, just a small gathering with some familiar faces. And, no, he isn’t. He needed to work on an assignment.”

“I do, as well!” “Bullshit. I’ll see you at eight.” With that, he ended the call.

And that’s how you ended up in the twins’ apartment, lazily sloshing the alcoholic contents of your plastic cup. You don’t recall the amount of drinks you’ve drank but it sure was enough to have your head spinning.

There were familiar faces here, and there—which you took time to greet every single one—and some foreign faces. You assumed most of the people here were Atsumu’s teammates from the university team with how close they were with the blonde.

In all honesty, you had absolutely no idea as to why the twins were even hosting this gathering, it was so out of the blue. Though, you did hear an orange-haired male loudly exclaim to Atsumu at how much of a genius he was for organising a gathering this early into the semester.

So, it was Atsumu’s idea all along.

“Y’know, you can just talk to him, right?”

Suna’s slurred voice unceremoniously pulled you out of your trance, shifting your attention over to him. “What do you mean?” You coughed, cheeks heating, trying to hide the fact that Suna just caught you shamelessly staring at Atsumu who conversed with the orange-haired male. He sat beside you, body far back into the couch, narrow eyes fighting the sleep that slowly overtook him.

You didn’t like how your mind instantly agreed with his sentence.

The brunette let out a humourless chuckle but didn’t elaborate further, instead, he pulled out his phone to mindlessly scroll on it. Narrowing your eyes at him for a brief moment, you shifted your gaze back to the blonde, he had a big smile on his face, a tinge of crimson across his cheeks.

God, even under the shitty lighting of their apartment, Miya Atsumu still looked handsome as ever.

You stared at him for a moment, heart hammering against your chest, limbs tingling at the sudden urge to walk up to him. Oh, this was a very dangerous game you were playing, especially with the alcohol in your system. Your mind yelled go, go, go but you knew better than to play with fire, right?

Wrong.

In a heartbeat, you were on your feet, taking slow strides over to Atsumu. The sober part of your mind screamed at you to turn around, and sit back down but the tipsy part of your mind was stubborn—you wondered if it took after your heart.

The sudden urge to talk to Atsumu was fuelled by nothing but liquid courage—all the worries in your mind were magically solved; the weight that pulled your heart down was gone, and suddenly, it didn’t seem like a bad idea to even talk to him.

Deep down, you knew you were playing a very dangerous game right now but you couldn’t care less. Not when your heart pulled you closer to him.

As you neared, Atsumu cut the conversation short with his friend, and stared at you with expectant eyes, brows sky high in surprise. He sucked in a breath as you looked up at him through your lashes, the corners of your lips subtly turned upwards. Heart pounding, he shifted his weight from one leg to another as he waited for you to speak first,

“‘Tsumu, can we talk?”

Atsumu’s knees almost gave out upon hearing his nickname roll off your tongue, an icy shiver running up his spine.

—

taglist (closed)

tags:

@ushijimaschubbs @tsumudoll @starlitsawamura @littlemiyastars @h3art-ablaz3 @eggyrocks @integers @rrosiitas @food8me @schelamski @honeytwo @nyaaa-cat @cherribxio @aloesstuff @bontensh0e @willshebloved @yogurtkags @hyori2 @hibernatinghamster @theepitomeofswag @yawnjjunz @animesimpingismyjob @acowboykisser @rntrsuna @rjreins @prodhyuka @loonalockley @cheesypuffkins87 @kos-misch @iluvaquaphor (kindly turn on your mentions! :>)

affiliated with @houseofsolisoccasum !

268 notes · View notes

mysterious-moonstruck-musings · 28 days ago

Text

Closed Position: Week 5 (Rumba Part 4)

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition, Dancing with the Stars, would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble.

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on the show to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo.

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

Chapter Word Count: 25.2k (I know, I'm sorry!)

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence (not by or toward Dieter), past alcohol abuse, and past drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

👉 Chapter Warnings: Dieter and Kat both being a menace, smut, fluff, and physical assault

Chapter Quote: “Use me, fucking destroy me, and put me out of my misery. Please.”

Dieter’s POV Early Saturday morning, I awoke from the best night’s sleep I’d had in some time. I laid there with my eyes closed, reveling in the soft citrus and plum scent that surrounded me as I snuggled against Kat’s warm body. I felt the need to pinch myself to make sure this wasn’t a dream. It was a vision that often danced behind my eyelids, but it never felt like this. It felt better than I could have ever imagined. The connection between us was indescribable. Sure, the release that came along with the sex was great, but it didn’t compare to the feelings and intimacy. I had never experienced anything like it before. It only further proved that this woman fucking owns me - mind, body, and soul. The scariest part is that I was willingly giving her all of myself. I didn’t second guess it. I knew I was falling hard and was suddenly open to dealing with any pain that might come from it. I wasn’t sure if it was growth, or if Kat just had that kind of effect on me.

Kat shifted in my arms, snuggling in closer with a content sigh. My eyes blinked open, now focusing on her relaxed face that was nearly nose to nose with mine. I took the time to study her features in a way I had never had the opportunity to until now. She had the faintest scar just under her left eyebrow, one small freckle on her cheek, and another on her nose. Her lips were full and pouty with a deep rosy color. They still looked a little puffy from the previous night’s exploits, which made me smile over the memory of the way they felt against mine. The sun was beginning to sneak through the gaps in the curtains, emphasizing the subtle copper undertones in the darker strands of her hair. I couldn’t help reaching to run my fingers through it, gently pulling the stray bits away from her cheeks.

A lazy smile slid across her lips at my touch, “I can feel you staring at me.”

The way her voice sounded gravelly from sleep was doing things to me. It was so fucking sexy.

“I’m sorry…I’ve told you, a work of art is meant to be appreciated. I can’t resist.”

Her thick lashes fluttered open, amber eyes focusing on me with a playful glint as she leaned forward to nuzzle her nose against mine before placing a firm kiss on my lips. She pulled away, laying her head back down as she reached to run her fingers through my hair. I grasped her arm, placing gentle kisses on the inside of her wrist before settling her hand between us. I reached toward her face, rubbing my thumb over her lips.

I couldn’t help smiling, “Your lips look swollen.”

She kissed my thumb, then smiled back. “Good. I guess I won’t need that plumping lip gloss after all.”

We both chuckled, before settling into a comfortable silence, taking each other in. Our eyes danced around each other’s faces as our hands began to glide over any bare skin they could reach. Kat’s fingers snaked around my neck, pulling me closer to her. I shifted, settling between her thighs. She wasted no time, wrapping her toned legs around my waist, hugging me tightly to her as she ran her fingertips through the scruff on my chin. My hand roamed the length of her body, feeling the softness of her skin against mine. We took turns placing soft kisses on each other's faces, noses rubbing together as we got lost in each other’s eyes. Kat gently sucked on my bottom lip. I couldn’t help the groan that slipped out as she smirked up at me.

“You’re so fucking perfect. You know that? You’ve absolutely ruined me for anyone else,” I mumbled against her mouth.

She let out a sultry laugh, her voice somehow lower as she spoke, “And I’m only getting started.”

I could feel myself getting hard as her warm center brushed against me, but oddly enough, I didn’t want to escalate things. I just wanted to be wrapped up in her - enjoying her touch, her smell, and her warmth.

Somewhere off in the distance, I could hear my phone going off. I sighed, raising my head to glance over at the clock on the nightstand.

“That’s probably my alarm.” My hand ran down the side of her body, giving her ass a firm squeeze, “I’m gonna go get us some breakfast. Get yourself a little more sleep while I’m gone, Ok?”

Kat pouted as I leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose. She settled back into bed, hiking the duvet up to stick one leg out as she cocooned the rest of her body in the heavy bedding. I could see her eyes peeking out as I stood to go shower and get dressed. I couldn’t fight the urge to lightly run my fingertips down the bottom of her exposed foot as I walked by. Her toes curled as she jerked her foot away and let out a frustrated huff. I chuckled, exiting her room to go to mine.

After getting presentable, I threw on a hat and sunglasses and headed out the door. I remembered seeing a small diner a few blocks north that looked worth trying, so I set out in that direction. I was in a bit of a daze after the evening I spent with Kat. I had admittedly been laying it on thick the last few days, hoping that something would happen between us. By Wednesday, I was certain there was something there after the hair straightening incident. I hadn’t intended for that to turn into such an intimate moment. I felt like I was really pushing it with the light grazes along her neck, but she seemed to be responding positively to it. Her reaction only egged me on. I didn’t even try to avoid flirting with her after that.

I wanted her to know where I stood, if she was receptive to it. She definitely seemed to be later that afternoon as I playfully pulled her into my arms and began dancing with her to the song she had been singing along with. There was no doubt in my mind that if my phone hadn't rang, she would have kissed me. It figures that the call turned out to be about Alec, because of course that guy was still cock-blocking us from the other side of the country.

One of the highlights from our week was when we popped into the plant boutique. I half expected her to hate it, but she seemed to genuinely enjoy herself as she listened to me rambling and browsed the merchandise. We had a good laugh over the penis cactus, taking the opportunity to let loose and be ourselves more than usual. After our near kiss earlier in the day, the experience had my emotions all over the place. I loved that she was making an effort to be involved with one of my favorite hobbies. No one else had bothered to even try or cared to.

I was trying not to overdo it with her, but I couldn’t resist the casual touches as we moved through the shop. She seemed to reciprocate them by mussing my curls at one point and leaning into me as we stood staring at the shelves. Then there was the moment where I ran my fingers through her hair. She seemed to momentarily get lost in my touch, closing her eyes and savoring the feeling. When her eyes opened and met mine, I was breathless from what I saw there. I knew she was feeling this too. I wanted nothing more than to tell her how I was feeling right then, but I needed it to be on her terms. I needed her to want it too and I wasn’t fully convinced that she was willing yet. It was obvious that she was feeling something, but I couldn’t work out if she was ready to act on it.

Later that evening, we rehearsed on the terrace, eventually being met with rain. After we gave up and I got us some towels, we had another moment that honestly took me off guard. I was eager to get her dry and warm once I realized she was shivering, but I did not expect her to lean into me like she did. My heart was pounding out of my chest as I wrapped my arms around her from behind and rested my cheek against the side of her head. We were definitely edging into new territory in that moment. The tension between us was palpable. I could tell she was sensing it too as she seemed lost in thought, almost stuck - afraid to initiate things further, but also not wanting to end it. She eventually did though, pulling away to head to her room for the night. I was disappointed, but I knew she needed her space. I would give her as much as she needed.

That following morning, I had been lying in bed doing my morning scroll through social media when I got a message notification from Evan. He had forwarded me a post with the text “FYI”. I wasn’t sure what I was looking at first. All I could see was two people kissing from a distance, but then I clicked to view the post and swiped through the pictures. It was Alec and Lana. I felt my stomach drop. I was instantly worried about how this would affect Kat. At that point, I still didn’t know what had happened between them. I didn’t know if this would be a surprise or not. I was worried this would cause her to build that wall up between us again, but also, I was concerned that she would be hurt by it.

I was relieved to know that she knew about the two of them already. I could tell that she was hurt by the pictures, but she wasn’t letting it get to her. Luckily, it was our day to film the Dirty Dancing skit. I made it my mission to keep her laughing all day, making a complete fool of myself as we filmed.

The flirty atmosphere still seemed to thrive between us as the day went on, so much so that I didn’t even think about what I was doing when I kissed her on the forehead as we wrapped up filming. I tried to play it off as a friendly thank you but wasn’t sure if I succeeded. She seemed a bit stunned by it, causing me to worry that I took it too far. My worry faded when I caught sight of her after an attractive blonde had approached me about a date. She was watching the exchange, appearing to be anxious over our interaction. Once we were alone, I felt the need to make it clear that I wasn’t interested in anyone but her. I even went so far to say that she and Zee were the only women in my life. I didn’t know how to be any blunter about it without actually saying it. To further emphasize my point, I offered to take her to dinner that night. That seemed to smooth things over. Dinner went well, even though we did have to behave ourselves since eyes were on us.

Later that evening, she finally opened up to me about what happened with Alec. I honestly wasn’t shocked to learn she caught him cheating with Lana. I just wasn’t prepared for how she caught him cheating. I knew that had to be hard on her and I wished she would have confided in me sooner so that I could support her through it. However, I understood her need to process it. I was still the first person she had talked to about it, which made me feel good. I appreciated that she trusted me enough to confide in me like that.

The foot massage incident followed that conversation. I had to laugh about that now. I legitimately hadn’t intended to get her worked up the way I had. I just sort of noticed it happening as she talked to me. She wasn’t exactly subtle about it when she began to rub her thighs together. Curiosity got the best of me, so I started paying a little extra attention to a certain part of her foot that has been known to stimulate an orgasm for some people. I watched her cheeks flush as she squirmed under my gaze. I could see that her breathing was picking up as her muscles tensed. I was honestly shocked she hadn’t stopped me by that point. The moment her mouth fell open, I really thought she was going to let it happen, but then she jerked her foot away. I was amused by her trying to play it off and couldn’t help teasing her a bit.

The following day while I was at the studio rehearsing for SNL, Kat had gone to my dressing room to rest. I was happy she took me up on the offer because I could tell she wasn’t feeling the greatest, despite what she said. I had offered to come get her during our next break so we could rehearse the monologue. I wasn’t shocked to find her snoozing away on the couch. I sat on the edge next to her, briefly pausing to take in her sleeping form and admire how beautiful she looked. As I reached to shake her awake, she mumbled something in her sleep. I froze, hoping to hear more. I watched her lips turn to a pout. Something was clearly making her unhappy. I sat with my hand still extended, debating on how long I should wait. She snuggled against the blanket tucked around her as her pout faded to a small smile, then she mumbled something else. I could only make out two words, “Dieter” and “stay”. I thought my heart was going to explode at the realization that she was dreaming about me. Those two words gave me so much hope that she was feeling the same things as me. They were the driving force behind the way I handled things as the day progressed.

I was feeling further emboldened and wasn’t holding back by the time we all piled into the car to go to the blues club later that evening, not hesitating to pull Kat into my lap and hold her tight against me. Our faces were mere inches apart from each other the entire ride, which only increased the tension and spurred the innuendos between us. The heated glances continued to pass between us throughout dinner and I found that I couldn’t keep my hands off of her. She didn’t seem to mind, often leaning in to my touch or returning it in some way.

I was honestly shocked that we ended up on stage after dinner. Sure, I had been joking about getting her up there, but I never thought she would actually do it. I took full advantage of the moment and chose the songs strategically. I knew Kat tended to connect with music in a way most people probably didn’t. Honestly, we both do it. That became obvious to me early on as we planned out our dance routines. So, I knew the lyrics would get through to her and mean something. I could tell she had picked up on it, especially since she asked why I chose those songs. I ached to tell her how I was feeling, but this wasn’t the time or the place. I opted to keep my response vague but gave her enough to make her think. At that point, the only thing I could think about was getting her back to the hotel. I needed to be alone with her. My hope was that we might finally talk about things, given how the day had gone. However, I never expected it to go from zero to a hundred in an instant.

When we first started rehearsing after getting back to the hotel, it was obvious Kat wasn’t on top of her game. She seemed distracted. As we continued on, the atmosphere between us shifted. I had no doubt that she was willing to meet me halfway after seeing the way she was looking at me. Her touches had become more sensual as she closed the space between us to the point that there was none. I could tell she was hanging on by a thread and I knew I was probably pushing it to suggest that we keep dancing, but I wanted her to know that I was all in. I also wanted to make it clear that it was her decision. It always would be.

The moment she finally kissed me, I felt like I was having an out of body experience. It didn’t seem real. I had wanted it so badly for so long that I couldn't believe it was actually happening. I was set on keeping it soft and sweet so as not to overwhelm her, but then her hands dropped to the hem of my shirt and pulled it off. I was briefly stunned, shocked she was going there. I had to make sure it’s what she really wanted. I needed her to know that this meant something to me before we took it too far and ruined our friendship. The second she told me she was sure about it, I let go. I wanted to show her how I was feeling, to worship her like she deserved.

And worship her I did. I took it slowly. Learning how her body responded to my touch. She was so easy to read, eliciting quiet moans when I found the right spots. Her brows would pinch together in pleasure as she arched into me, seeking more. It was so fucking hard for me to keep it together so that I could take care of her. She had me on edge from the moment she kissed me, but I somehow managed.

I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I had sex while sober. It had been a very long time, but I knew without a doubt that it hadn’t been like this. I didn’t feel the things I was feeling with her. I had never felt them with anyone. She had awoken something inside of me and brought me back to life. It was scary but also sort of freeing. It solidified the fact that I was irrevocably in love with her, and I knew I would do anything it took to keep her happy and safe.

After we finished, I suddenly felt vulnerable, retreating into myself and expecting the inevitable dismissive attitude that I typically get from people afterward. I braced myself, waiting for it, because I knew that it would crush me coming from her. I should have known better though. She’s not like the rest of them. She cares about me and made it perfectly obvious from the start. However, some emotional scars are harder to overcome - always screaming at me from the back of my mind. It would take time and a good person to condition me away from that way of thinking. I wanted that person to be her.

The relief I felt when she asked me to stay was indescribable. It caused a flood of new emotions that I didn’t really understand. I tried to unpack them in the moment, but I couldn’t. Instead, I shifted my focus to caring for her. I wanted to make sure she was OK after our time together. Then it kind of hit me, what she had mumbled in her sleep, “Dieter, stay.” I suddenly felt more connected to her, realizing that maybe she understood things more than I realized. She confirmed it as we talked afterward. Alec didn’t stick around after either. It pissed me off, and further stoked my need to take care of her. I needed to show her that she deserved more, and I would happily give her everything. Even if that meant opening myself up to the things I was afraid of.

As I walked through the door of the diner, I wondered how this would go when we got back to LA. I wondered if she would want to be open about us or keep it on the down low for a time because of everything we were already dealing with. As I sat filling out my order ticket, I decided to suggest that we keep it quiet for a while. Mostly for her safety because I was concerned about Alec. He may not even care now that he’s moved on, but I didn’t want to chance it.

I handed my ticket to the lady at the counter, and she added it to the queue. It only took minutes for the food to be ready since it was all pre-prepared. I was a little shocked when she handed me three bags. It was enough to feed at least four people. I had been completely zoned out as I filled in the ticket, I couldn’t even remember what I ordered. I knew Kat was going to give me a hard time over it for being a little extra.

When I got back to the suite, I could hear the sound of the shower running. After setting the food down, I walked toward Kat’s room. She had left the doors to the bedroom and bathroom wide open. I smiled to myself knowing that she would never have done that before last night. As I got closer to the bathroom, I could hear her humming a tune to herself. Steam filled the room, fogging up the glass, but I could still make out her form as she ran her hands through her hair.

“I’m back with food,” I called out to her.

“Mmm, my hero. I’m starving. I’ll be out soon…almost done.”

I sighed, “Don’t make noises like that or I’m liable to jump in there with you, clothes and all.”

She giggled, “If we had time for it, I’d totally let you.”

I groaned, “Don’t be a tease…”

She scoffed, feigning offense, “I would never do such a thing.”

“Somehow I doubt that…” I said through a chuckle as I turned to make my way to the dining table to unpack our breakfast. Kat came out to join me just as I was finishing up. She was wearing a bathrobe and towel drying her hair as she surveyed the spread.

Her eyes widened as she let out a breathy laugh, “Dieter, what the hell?”

I shrugged and plopped down in a chair with a smirk, “I didn’t realize how much food I was actually getting, OK? It just kind of happened…but to be fair, the portions they gave me are not for two people. I said two, not five.”

She sat down beside me, shaking her head with a smirk as she piled food on a plate. We ate in silence, exchanging side-eyed glances and shy smiles. After I was finished, I slid my plate away and leaned back in the seat. Kat finished off her cup of coffee, then stood, coming to lean against the table in between my spread legs.

“I guess we should talk about…us…make sure we’re on the same page.”

My brows furrowed as my heart began to pound out of my chest. Does she not want this?

“What do ya mean?” I asked nervously.

She stepped forward, her hand gliding around my neck as she sat in my lap. Her eyes roamed my face, “I think…for now…we should keep this between us. I’m afraid Alec may try something if he finds out. There’s also Joe and Stacia…they wanted this to happen. I don’t want them to exploit it for the show. I refuse to let them. I want us to control the narrative.”

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding, “I can understand why you would want that…and I’m OK with it. I’ll follow your lead.”

Her forehead pressed against mine as she smiled, “I was worried you’d be upset about it.”

I shrugged and gave her a cheesy grin, “I mean, it’s not ideal…I’d really love it if everyone knew I was taken by an amazing woman...but I can wait until you’re ready. I’m yours no matter what.”

My smile faded, “I’d like to avoid drama with Alec as well since we have to put up with him for a bit longer. I worry about what he might do too... As far as Stacia and Joe go, they can fuck right off. I’m not playing their games.”

Her fingers twisted in my hair as she smiled at me, “Thank you for understanding. I do want everyone to know…eventually. I just want it to be on our terms. If it were to get out now, I feel like it would be chaos with all the hype around the show.”

I nodded, “I don’t disagree with that. Stacia and Joe would make sure of it…and we have enough to worry about as it is.”

She leaned in, giving me a quick kiss as I hugged her a little tighter against me. The moment was surreal, domesticated, and comforting. I wanted all of my mornings to like this, with her. My hand shifted to cup her cheek as her lips tugged upward, “You excited for tonight?”

I sucked in a heavy breath, “Umm, yes and no. I’m nervous as fuck.”

My fingers combed through her damp hair, “I’m happy you’re here with me though. I don’t know if I could’ve made it through this week without you.”

I tilted my head forward, giving her a soft kiss before pulling away, “Speaking of, we need to get going or we’re gonna be late for dress rehearsals.”

She shifted in my arms causing the front of her robe to fall open slightly, revealing the top curve of her breast. My hand dropped down so that my finger could tug the edge of it open a little more, pursing my lips as I playfully peaked inside, “We’re definitely gonna be late if you don’t go get dressed…like now.”

She laughed loudly, jokingly pushing my head away as she stood. I smacked her ass as she turned to walk toward the bedroom. She yelped out laughter as she went.

After much rushing around, we made it to Studio 8H just in time for dress rehearsals. Kat hung around to watch, seemingly amused every time I caught sight of her. When I had a free moment, I was at her side. We tried to act normally, but I’m not sure how much we succeeded. I couldn’t stop touching her. It wasn’t anything inappropriate, just small touches to her hand, arm, or lower back. I reasoned it wasn’t any different from what I would normally do. We were friends prior to this after all, and Kat didn’t seem to mind. The flirty smiles and intense stares were another story though. I had to watch myself with those.

The dress rehearsals finished around 1 PM. We had some time to kill, so Kat and I decided to sneak out for lunch at a nearby Italian restaurant. I threw on a hat and sunglasses, joking that I was in disguise even though that shit never works. Kat of course had to snap a picture for Instagram and make a joke about it in her post. After I saw it, I reached under the table and squeezed just above her knee, nearly making her dissolve into a fit of laughter which drew some confused stares from the nearby tables.

(More after the jump.)

After a long lunch, we made our way back to the studio so we could sit through hair and makeup. By the time that was done, we had a couple of hours before the first live audience show at 8 PM. Kat joined me in my dressing room and had the pleasure of watching me go through my pre-show warm-ups, which set her off into a giggling fit. The mouth stretches, tongue twisters, and lip trills in particular really got her going. Especially when I leaned in for a kiss and trilled against her mouth. She snorted out a laugh as she turned away from me, trying to contain her laughter.

Goofing off with her helped settle my nerves, keeping me focused on her rather than the task that lay ahead. Just for fun, I sat down on the leather sofa and pulled her down to straddle my lap so that she was face-to-face with me. I coaxed her to try some of the warmups, both of us giggling through it like fools every time she messed up a tongue twister or tried and failed to trill her lips. She never said it, but I could sense that she was nervous too. I felt like the distraction helped her just as much as it did for me.

Before we knew it, it was time to get dressed and make our way backstage for the first live audience show. I gave Kat a quick pep talk, before she disappeared to take her seat in the audience so she could roast me during my monologue. We nailed it, getting a good laugh from the audience. The rest of the show went as planned with no major fuck ups.

The minute the live audience show was over, the cast and producers convened to discuss any needed adjustments for the live broadcast and decide on the final order of the skits in the event something needed to be cut for time. Overall, everyone seemed to be feeling good about the plans and how the first round went.

Kat and I took a few minutes to chat and hang out with the cast. There were lots of other friends, family, and visitors milling around as there usually were before the live broadcast. The sight of one person in particular had me feeling anxious. Sophie West, an actress I had worked with several years ago, was across the room. Her eyes continuously searched for me as Kat and I socialized. I had never been interested in Sophie as anything other than an on-set hookup. It happened a few times after some late night cast parties, but once I realized she wanted more I avoided her like the plague.

We had just finished a conversation with Judy when the tiny redhead approached from nowhere to get my attention.

“Dieter, it’s so good to see you again! It’s been too long!”

My hand instinctively slid around Kat’s waist and pulled her closer, I’m sure she could feel how tense I was.

I nodded, “Sophie, nice to see you again.”

Her eyes briefly dropped to my hand on Kat’s waist before meeting Kat’s gaze and reaching out to shake her hand, “And I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are. I’m Sophie, Dieter and I did a movie together a while back.”

Kat’s brow arched. She didn’t look amused, “I’m Katarina, Dieter’s dance partner.”

Sophie chuckled, “Oh that’s right, you're on that dance show.” She paused, smiling mischievously, “Dieter’s always been such a good dancer. We spent several late nights dancing at cast parties, among other things…”

My eyes widened as I looked at Kat. I could see her jaw clench before she forced a fake smile and a polite laugh, “He is a good dancer, even better so now that I’ve spent many long days and nights helping him perfect his technique…”

Her tone told me she wasn’t just talking about dancing in the literal sense. Fuck me. I didn’t see that coming. Kat’s not gonna take her shit. I had to bite back a laugh.

Sophie didn’t look impressed as she turned her attention back to me, “So, Dieter, you wanna get together after the show to celebrate? Just like old times?” She asked with a suggestive tone. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“Sorry Soph, I don’t really do the party thing anymore. I’m sober. Also, Kat and I have a super early flight in the morning. So, we’ll be heading back to our hotel suite after the show.”

Her mouth dropped open slightly as she looked between us and nodded, seeming to finally take the hint. “Well, I’m back in LA most of the time now. Call me. We can grab dinner and catch up.”

Seriously? Give it up woman. I was beginning to get second-hand embarrassment for her. I gave her a tight-lipped smile and a curt nod before turning my attention to Kat, “You wanna go over our lines again? Looks like we have just enough time left to do that…”

Kat took the hint, laying her hand on my chest and she leaned in with a smirk, “Yeah, let’s go to your dressing room so we can focus.”

I could’ve kissed her right there in front of everyone, but refrained. That didn’t stop a heated look from passing between us though. Seeing her possessive side was making my dick twitch. Sophie seemed to get the hint at that point, awkwardly smiling before walking away.

Kat snickered, “That was subtle.”

I smiled sheepishly, “What do ya mean?”

She scoffed, “Our hotel suite?”

I laughed, “Oh, shush. You weren’t much better with that ‘perfecting his technique’ line. Besides, she wasn’t taking the hint. She’s been a little obsessed with me for years. I’m not tryin’ to give her mixed signals. Respectfully, she can fuck off.”

Kat chuckled as we made our way to my dressing room to get away from the crowds. I needed to decompress before the live broadcast and didn’t want to chance any more run-ins with Sophie. I also just wanted to be alone with Kat.

After we entered, I made sure to lock the door behind us, not wanting visitors. Kat plopped down on the sofa as I pulled my jeans off. She raised a questioning eyebrow as I sat down in front of the vanity.

I snickered, “I’m hot…I’m sorry. Figured you would’ve noticed by now that I hate pants.”

She stretched her legs out in front of her as she sunk back into the plush cushions, “Oh trust me, I’ve noticed.”

I started doing some of my warmups again, I could hear Kat giggling behind me as she snapped a few pictures in the mirror, “I hope you’re enjoying yourself.”

(More after the jump.)

She smiled as she tapped away on her phone, I assumed to post the pictures on Instagram, “Oh, I am. This has been an experience.”

She dropped her phone down beside her, “I’m glad you asked me to come with you. I think we both needed this…to get away from LA and everything that comes with it.”

I turned to face her, “Do you think this would have happened between us if we hadn't come here?”

She thought for a moment, “Yes, I think it would’ve…but maybe not as soon?”

I smiled, “Thank god you agreed to come…or else I may have spontaneously combusted if I had to wait for you much longer.”

There was a knock on the door followed by the voice of one of the producers, “Dieter…just a heads up…we need you guys ready to go and backstage in 30.”

I sighed before yelling back “We’ll be there.”

My eyes met Kat’s, “You ready to do this on a live broadcast?”

She groaned, “Why did you remind me?”

Minutes later, I began getting dressed in my monologue attire. Kat wasn’t a fan of the bright yellow pants, but she didn’t seem to mind the blue blazer with nothing underneath it. I noticed how her eyes kept drifting down to the exposed skin of my neck and chest.

As I stood in front of the vanity, fiddling with my hair, Kat approached and squeezed into the space between me and the countertop. She leaned forward, applying more lipstick as she pressed her ass against my dick, slightly swaying her hips from side to side as her eyes met mine in the mirror. My hands sought out the globes of her ass to pause her movements, “Are you tryin’ to get me hard before I go on live TV?” She feigned a look of innocence. I laughed, “You’re a fucking menace…which I did not expect.”

I reached down to the hem of her dress, running my hand up the inside of her thigh, but she smacked it away, “No sir. You can have me after the show…when we go back to our hotel suite.” She paused, then wiggled her ass again, “I wanna take my time with you.”

I groaned, then away from her as I muttered, “Fucking tease.”

She turned to face me with a playful glint in her eye as she booped my nose, “You have no idea, Bravo.”

Before we knew it, we were making our way backstage. Our nerves seemed a lot worse this time, knowing it was a live broadcast in addition to the live audience. Kat and I stood facing each other as I grabbed her hands and playfully shook her arms, “Loosen up, Kit Kat. You’ve got this. We’re gonna be hilarious! The people love us!”

She laughed as I pulled her in for a tight hug and leaned in next to her ear, “Just think of me naked and you’ll forget all about the nerves.”

She laughed louder this time, “Yeah, that’s probably not a good idea. Though, your lack of a shirt definitely makes that easier to do.”

I winked at her, “Good, that means my plan is working.”

A production assistant approached us, “Kat, it’s time for you to take your seat.”

She nodded and smiled at me as she gave my hand a squeeze, “Good luck, Bravo.”

I took my place behind the double doors that led to the stage. At exactly 11:29 PM the weekend update skit began, then the first note was played by the house band as the announcer went through the opening credits. I took this time to shake off my nerves to the beat of the music until my name was called to take center stage for the monologue. I just needed to keep my shit together and focus for the next 92 minutes.

I went through the usual spiel of welcoming everyone to the show and promising an excellent lineup. Then it was my time to shine in endless self-deprecating humor.

“I’m Dieter Bravo, I’ll be your host for tonight. Some of you may recognize me from my endless tabloid drama, rumors of on-set chaos, or the completely unhinged interviews I’ve done in the past. For the movie buffs, you may know me from my Oscar winning role in Hunger Strike. I know, it was a while ago…but I’m still an Oscar winner…so suck it, Darren Eigen.” (Darren Eigen is the Director for Cliff Beasts 6)

That got a good laugh from the audience. I paused briefly allowing them to settle, then clapped my hands together to draw back their attention.

“Speaking of Darren…my most recent movie role was in Cliff Beast 6, but I doubt any of you have seen me in it because…well…no one watched it.”

Quiet laughter followed as a voice from the audience interrupted me, “You definitely didn’t win an Oscar for that performance!”

My brow furrowed as I played along, “Excuse me?”

A spotlight dropped down on Kat as she stood from her seat which triggered whoops and whistles from the audience, “I said, you definitely didn’t win an Oscar for that. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen. That’s two hours of my life I would love to have back. I can’t believe you would even admit to being in that atrocity.”

I laughed nervously, “Kat, what’re you doing? I said you could come watch, not provide commentary. You do that enough during dance rehearsals.”

She shrugged. “Sorry, it’s a habit. I’ll try to behave.”

I nodded, giving her a look of annoyance, “Sorry about that everyone. That’s my dance partner…which brings me to my current project…I’m participating on a little show called Dancing with the Stars. You heard of it?”

More appreciation sounded from the audience. I nodded along with a smile, waiting for them to settle. “You know, I’ll admit, I was nervous about that one. I’m not exactly a spry young thing anymore, but I like to think I’ve always been a decent dancer. I was pretty excited to hear my partner say that I had loose hips, which would serve me well in the Latin dances. I guess my mind-blowing thrust game finally paid off for something…if you know what I mean, ladies.” I shot a cocky grin and wink toward the camera.

Kat scoffed and cut in, “Don’t get too excited ladies…he may have loose hips, but he has no rhythm.”

The audience lost it. Kat was looking pretty smug over her remark. I chewed on the inside of my cheek, fighting a smile as I waved the comment off. In a split second I decided to get her back for teasing me earlier. My eyes narrowed on her, my voice taking on a suggestive tone, “Now sweetheart, you know that’s not true.”

That wasn’t the line she was expecting. Her eyes widened as gasps, whoops, and catcalls sounded through the audience. She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth as she shifted in place where she was standing. I was almost certain she was pressing her thighs together under that flowy dress. I held up my hands, shushing the audience, “Hold on now, get your minds outta the gutter. I’m talking about dancing here…you bunch of pervs. Geez Louise.”

That got another good laugh out of them as Kat narrowed her eyes at me. I made it through the last bit of the monologue with perfect timing and delivery. The show seemed to be starting off perfectly.

The Dirty Dancing skit went over well. The final product had turned out more hilarious than we originally expected. I managed to keep it together through most of the live skits, only breaking once. Overall, I felt like the show had been a success as I ran out to do the closing credits. Kat was at my side, my fingers laced with hers as I said my ‘thank yous’ to the cast and crew for inviting me to host.

I let go of her hand and pulled her into my side, “Special thanks to my Kit Kat for suffering through this week with me! This wouldn’t have been possible without her.”

I glanced down to see her face flush, then wrapped things up. The cast began mingling and hugging as they often did while the credits rolled. I pulled Kat in against me as she wrapped her arms around my neck, “Dieter, you were amazing.”

I chuckled against her ear, “Yeah? Did I get you all hot and bothered, sweetheart?”

She pulled back, peering up at me through her lashes with a smirk. She nodded. “Yeah?” I asked with amusement. She nodded again. I leaned back down next to her ear, “Do you wanna have sex with me?”

She chuckled, “Why don’t you take me back to the hotel and find out.”

Little Bravo stood to attention as I let out a breathy laugh, “Fucking hell, woman.”

We were interrupted by Judy who ran over to hug us both. The rest of the cast and crew soon followed. We hung around for as long as we felt was socially acceptable before giving the excuse of our early flight and headed out.

The sexual tension during the ride back to the hotel was stifling. We were trying our best to behave, but that didn’t stop us from sitting close together and sharing teasing touches while avoiding eye contact. Kat rested her hand on my thigh, slowly inching it higher with gentle caresses. I captured her hand with mine, causing her eyes to cut in my direction and narrow as I tried not to smirk. After flipping her palm upward, I set it on my leg to lightly rub up the inside of her wrist with my fingertips. I could feel her skin breaking out in goosebumps as she pressed her thighs together. She turned toward the window, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth as she let out a controlled breath through her nose. I could tell she was getting worked up. It was too easy to read her now.

Once back at the hotel, we entered the elevator. A small group followed us in, crowding us into a back corner. Kat took it upon herself to stand in front of me, pressing her ass into my groin as she leaned back against me. My hands gripped her hips, pulling her tighter against my hardness as we waited to reach our floor. We were the last ones left after a couple of stops. As soon as the door closed behind the last of the exiting occupants, my palm slid up the back of her neck, lifting her hair out of the way to place open mouthed kisses along the newly exposed skin.

“Mmm, you’re playing dirty now,” she purred.

My lips moved toward the curve of her ear, chuckling quietly as I sucked on the lobe. She melted into my embrace just as the elevator doors dinged open. She moved to exit, my hands reaching for her hips as I stumbled along behind her. She was fighting a smile, pretending to ignore me as she keyed in. She peered at me over her shoulder, giving me a sly smirk as she removed her jacket and walked toward her room. I took the hint, following behind her like the lovesick puppy that I was. She moved to stand in front of the dresser mirror, removing her earrings as I approached her from behind, pulling her against my chest and nuzzling my nose into her neck. I didn’t hesitate to deeply inhale her scent, not even caring if she knew what I was doing. It was like a drug to me now, causing me to salivate at the thought of tasting her again.

Our gazes connected in the mirror as my lips trailed up to her jaw. Kat suddenly turned, her mouth crashing against mine for a deep sensual kiss as she worked to remove my boxers and jeans. We broke apart only long enough for me to kick them off. Her hands found their way to my chest, pushing me backwards onto the bed. She stood between my spread thighs, smiling down at me as her fingers ran through the top of my hair. My hands found the hem of her dress, sliding under and up to grab at her ass. I arched a brow as my eyes shifted upward to meet hers when my fingers were not met with any fabric. Her smile widened.

I chuckled quietly and shook my head, “I can already tell, you’re gonna drive me insane, aren’t ya sweetheart?”

She moved closer, lifting her legs to straddle my lap. Both of my hands slid up her bare thighs to grip her ass and pull her closer. Our noses nudged together as she rolled her hips against my hardness, “You have no idea what I’m about to do to you, Bravo.”

My forehead fell forward against hers. I couldn’t help the whimper that slipped out. Her assertive confidence was so fucking hot I could have blown my load right then. Her tongue darted out, lightly licking up the center of my mouth before sucking on my bottom lip as her right hand snaked downward between us, cupping and gently squeezing my balls before rolling her fingertips in a wave like motion. My head dropped backwards, mouth falling open with a low groan at the sensation. That’s definitely something new. My head lulled forward, blurry eyes taking in the look on her face. Her eyelids were heavy, teeth biting into her bottom lip as she fought a smile. I could tell she was on a mission to completely wreck me, and it was working.

Her brow arched slightly. “You like that?” she asked in a teasing tone.

“Mmhmm,” I managed to hum out as I shook my head.

She leaned in and smiled against my lips as she began to rock her hips, still managing to massage my balls as her slick center slid backward and forward over my fully erect cock. My eyes nearly rolled back into my head as the tip repeatedly grazed her entrance with each movement.

My head tipped forward to lean against her shoulder as a low “Fuuuuuck” slipped out of my mouth.

Kat let out a quiet snicker, “You like that too?”

Her voice sounded sultry in a way I had never heard it. I somehow managed to whine out an incoherent sound in response, not even sure what I was actually attempting to say. Her free hand moved to the back of my head, tangling her fingers in my hair to pull it upward, tilting it so that her lips found my ear, sucking on the lobe briefly before whispering, “You gonna be a good boy and let me have my way with you tonight?”

My fingers gripped her ass tighter, causing the rocking of her hips to cease. I was so close to losing it before we had even gotten started. I needed her to slow down. She was pushing my buttons in new ways that I was nowhere near prepared for and I was about to lose my fucking mind. She was invading all of my senses - her touch, the taste of her skin, her fruity scent, the sultry sound of her voice, her words, the feel of her hot breath and wet cunt all overstimulating me like never before. I could tell she was enjoying herself from the way she had completely drenched my dick with her slick, which definitely wasn’t helping the situation. I took a deep centering breath and let it out slowly as she pulled back to look at me with arched brows and a smile.

I somehow managed to sputter out, “You can have me any way you want me, honey.”

A mischievous grin slid across her face, her hands resting on my shoulders for support as she shifted to stand between my thighs. Her hands reached down to pull my shirt over my head before she leaned in to kiss me deeply as she sank to her knees in front of me. Her hands got back to work, one around my cock while the other resumed the thing she had been doing with my balls. She leaned down, licking up the underside of the head before taking the tip in her mouth and sucking. Of fuuuuck, she’s gonna be the end of me.

I leaned backward, placing my hands on the bed behind me for support. My eyes slid shut from pleasure as my head dropped back between my shoulder blades. I couldn’t look at her. I knew the sight of it would be too much and cause me to fall over the edge. It was taking everything in me to fight off my impending orgasm as it was. I could feel that familiar tingling sensation creeping up at the base of my spine as my core muscles tightened. My breathing elevated as a sheen of sweat broke out over my entire body. I didn’t even try to fight the whimpering moans slipping out between my lips as she worked me over with her mouth. I somehow managed to crack my eyes open, only to be met with our reflections in the metallic ceiling tiles. I looked completely wrecked already. My focus shifted to Kat’s head bobbing between my thighs, and I nearly lost it. My right hand reached down, gently caressing her hair to get her to stop. She pulled away, peering up at me with wide eyes through her lashes.

“Sweetheart, you’re about to make me lose it before I’ve even had you.”

A rather smug smile formed on her lips as she moved to stand up on her knees and wrap her arms around my neck, kissing me gently.

“Tell me what you like. How do you want me?” she asked against my lips in a velvety voice. She was so fucking sexy and she wasn’t even really trying.

I gave her a small smile and chuckled, “I’m not very hard to please. Your mere existence is enough to send me over the edge these days.”

She arched her brow, “That’s not very helpful.”

I was feeling a little hesitant with her, sexually. I had a history of being adventurous in that aspect of my life, but something told me that wasn’t the case for her. It wasn't something that I needed to be satisfied. I was perfectly content going at her pace and letting her lead things. However, she seemed to sense my hesitancy.

Her eyes softened as she reached up to run her fingers through the hair at my temple, “I trust you, ya know. You make me feel…differently…when it comes to this. I know you’ll respect me. I want us to be able to communicate openly about what we’re feeling…and wanting. I’ve never felt safe enough to be like that with anyone until now.”

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding as my hands moved to her hips and pulled her closer to me. A smile crept across my face as I studied her eyes. She looked determined. I could tell she meant every word she said which caused a warmth to spread over my entire body. I suddenly felt the need to lay myself open bare so she could take anything she wanted. If I hadn't already known that I was completely in love with her, it would have hit me like a ton of bricks at that moment. She was being open and vulnerable with me, and suddenly I was no longer afraid to do the same.

“I don’t think anyone has ever asked me what I wanted…” I leaned forward, nuzzling my nose against her, debating on how far I should take things - how much I wanted to say.

“Truth be told…the only answer I can give…is you. I only want you…as much as you’re willing to give me…and I want you to have all of me. I’m yours.”

The air felt thick around us as she considered my words. I wasn’t just talking about sex. She owned every part of my being, and I wanted her to understand that. I wanted to tell her everything, but it was too soon. This was my way of saying it without actually saying it.

I felt her grip tighten in my hair as she closed the distance between us. The need between us intensified as our tongues tangled together and hands explored each other. Her mouth drifted down my jaw, teeth biting at the scruff before moving upward. That action alone had my dick at full attention and weeping for her.

“Have you been thinking about me when you’re alone?” Kat asked quietly into the shell of my ear.

I sighed, “Mmhmm.” I couldn’t help squirming against her abdomen for some type of friction against my raging hard-on as she licked up my neck. She murmured quietly, “What do you think about?” before tugging the lobe of my ear between her teeth.

I whimpered, struggling for a coherent thought as her fingers danced over my chest. My hands found the globes of her ass, squeezing to pull her tighter against me.

She nipped at my neck, “Answer me, Dieter.”

Seeing this side of her had my head spinning, I wanted more. My hands trailed up and down her sides as her lips continued to explore my jaw. I sputtered out a response, “I think about your body…and the way it moves…especially your hips…the control that you have over every muscle…the control that you have over…me.”

She pulled away, eyes meeting mine with a mischievous glint in them, “What else?”

I suddenly felt shy under her gaze. I couldn’t recall ever sharing these types of desires with anyone before. I was terrified she would be bothered by the way I had been thinking about her. Her hand moved to cup my face, “Tell me.”

“I tried to imagine what it would be like to have you moving the way you do on top of me…how it would feel…what sort of sounds you would make...”

She smirked, placing a chaste kiss on my lips before whispering, “Then let's find out. Lay on the bed for me.”

She pulled away to stand. I sat there a little dumbfounded with my mouth gaping open. It wasn’t like it was a crazy ask, but the thought of my fantasy coming to life nearly had me coming without even being touched.

Kat paused in front of me, staring with raised brows and her hands on her hips. Once my senses finally came back to me and I was sure I wasn't going to blow my load, I scrambled up to lay in the center of the bed. She chuckled, turning her back to me as she unzipped her dress. My hand involuntarily made its way down to stroke my cock as I watched her slide the straps off her shoulders. Her head turned so that she could glance at me over her shoulder, “I don’t remember telling you that you could touch yourself.”

I let out a nervous laugh, sliding my hands down to rest on either side of my hips while I waited for her. I was so fucking turned on by the way she was taking charge. She seemed to understand what I needed better than I did.

I watched as her dress slid down her body and pooled around her feet, revealing her to me. She hadn’t worn anything underneath it which only further spurred my need. My entire body was aching for her by this point.

She slowly crawled up the bed, trailing gentle touches and kisses along the way. Allowing her hair to lightly graze over my skin, sending shivers up my body. As she straddled my hips, she ran her hands up my chest, then drug her nails downward. With her bottom lip tucked between her teeth, she began to rotate her hips, rubbing her wet center against my hardness. My breath caught in my throat as she peered down at me with darkened eyes. She was so fucking beautiful like this that it had me frozen in place. My hands were still at my sides, fisting the sheets.

Her hand slid up the center of my chest then grasped firmly under my jaw, angling my face toward her as she leaned down to place an opened mouthed kiss on my lips before asking, “You wanna know what I think about when I’m alone?” All I could muster in response to her honeyed voice was a small nod as I looked up at her with wide eyes. I was completely dumb struck by her while also trying to focus on not coming all over myself.

That mischievous smirk was back on her face as she sat upright. Her hands moved to trace a path along her neck and breast as her body began slow undulations above me - her center absolutely drenching me with every twist of her hips. It had to be the sexiest thing I had ever laid eyes on.

She began to massage her breast, her smirk fading to a more sensual look as she continued, “I wondered what your hands would feel like gliding across my skin. I tried to pretend my hands were yours as I touched myself…but it was never satisfying enough.”

Her hands dropped down to mine, loosening their grip on the sheets and lifting them to guide their movements across her body. I was completely mesmerized by the sight as she let out a soft moan. “Definitely doesn’t compare to the real thing,” she added in a whisper.

Kat continued writhing on top of me as she showed me the way she liked to be touched, adding pressure to the tops of my hands and guiding them to knead her flesh in certain areas. The intimacy of the moment was almost overwhelming. I had never experienced anything like this. The trust she had in me to share this side of herself was causing me to feel emotions that were almost foreign.

She released my hands, allowing them to explore on their own as she briefly rose up on her knees, notching my throbbing head at her entrance and slowly sinking down to the hilt. My jaw fell slack as her wet heat enveloped me. I felt like my chest was going to explode as my eyes pooled with tears from the pure ecstasy I was feeling. I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from professing my deepest feelings for her. I couldn’t tell her that I was in love with her. It was still too soon for that, but I felt it just the same.

My hands gripped her hips as she leaned back to support herself on my thighs and began agonizingly slow movements, rolling her torso and hips as she rode me with abandon - giving me a show and the most amazing pleasure I had ever felt. I should have been embarrassed by the sounds I was making. It was guttural groans mixed with pathetic whimpers and near sobs as I fought the urge to come. Her soft hums of pleasure and intense gaze definitely didn’t help my situation any.

She must have sensed my impending release, slowing her movements to lean forward and plant her hands on my chest for support to give me some time to come back from the edge. My spine tingled and cock throbbed inside of her as I let out a steady chant of curse words trying to focus on anything but the goddess sitting on top of me. I stared at the mirrored ceiling, realizing how absolutely wrecked I looked. She chuckled, gently rubbing her hands over my chest as she took in my fucked out expression.

After a few deep breaths, my eyes shifted back to her. Her body looked dewy with sweat and flushed with arousal as she stared down at me. The sight of her had my balls aching for release. I couldn’t help the lazy grin that spread across my face as I reached up to cup her cheek, “You’re so fucking beautiful and perfect.”

She leaned into my touch, smiling at the praise.

“You’ve absolutely wrecked me, sweetheart. I don’t know how much longer I can last seeing you like this. I need you to come…I need to see it…to feel it. Use me, fucking destroy me, and put me out of my misery. Please.”

Her smile widened, “Be careful what you wish for, Bravo.”

Leaning on my chest, she began to slowly lift herself until only the head remained inside of her. Her cunt clenching as she did so, squeezing me so fucking tight as she rolled her hips. After relaxing, she quickly sunk back down to the hilt, only to repeat the movements - over and over again. It was a new sensation that I thought might actually end me where I lay.

Each time she clenched around me, it took everything I had not to explode. My head sunk back into the pillow as I slammed my eyes shut, trying to focus on anything but the way she felt. My jaw clenched as I fought to control my heaving breaths and the urge to rut into her. I was absolutely unraveling underneath her control, and she loved every second of it. My grip on her hips tightened, stilling her movements. I could feel the sweat trickling down my face as my mouth fell open, gasping for air. I couldn’t look at her, because if I did, I was done.

Kat’s fingers trailed down my chest. “You doing ok?” she asked innocently.

I nodded, still panting, “Yep…just need…a minute.”

I could feel her eyes on me. Her tone told me she had a satisfied grin on her face as she watched me try to keep it together for her. After calming down some, I tilted my head to look at her. Our gazes locked as I guided her hips to rock against me, “I need for you to come. Please.”

My voice was pleading. I really couldn’t hold on much longer and she knew it. She began grinding against me, her clit rubbing against the wiry hair at the base of my cock. It didn’t take long before I felt her walls fluttering around me, her release slowly building. Her eyes never left mine as her body began to tremble before finally tensing. As her mouth fell open, I sat up, pulling her to me with one arm while bracing myself with the other on the mattress behind me, allowing me to snap my hips up into hers. She collapsed with muffled moans against my neck as I drew out her release and finally crashed over the edge with her. A low growl ripped from my chest as I came hard inside of her. The growl turned to whimpers as my body began to shake from the release. I fell backward to the bed pulling her to lay against my chest, not saying a word for a while as we tried to settle our breathing and heart rates.

After a few minutes passed, my arms snaked around her waist so that I could shift us both to our sides. I made a point to pull her closer against me, making sure she knew that I was here for her. Something about that moment felt vulnerable. Not just for me, but for her too. Neither of us were used to having this after. For the first time, it really hit me how much I had been craving her intimacy. Not just taking but giving too.

My face nuzzled against the top of her hair, inhaling her scent as my hand trailed up and down her body. She hugged me a little tighter and sighed contentedly against my neck.

I massaged at her hip, “Everything feeling ok? You didn’t overdo it I hope.”

She chuckled, tilting her head back to look at me, “I’m good. Are you?”

A dopy lopsided grin spread across my face as I reached to rub my fingertips along the curve of her jaw, “I am now…I don’t think you realize the effect you have on me. I’ve never experienced anything like this…like you.”

Her cheeks reddened at my words as she tried to bury her face against the pillow. I snickered, “Don’t go getting shy on me now, because I know that’s a lie…you little sex kitten.”

Her eyes widened at the comment as I took a moment to realize what I had actually said, “Oooooh, looks like you’ve got a new nickname…and you’ve earned this one.”

She snorted, “Fucking hell, I guess I did walk into that one.”

I leaned down with a mischievous smile and pressed my forehead against hers, “Don’t worry, it’ll be our little secret. I’ll only call you that when I’m horny.”

She laughed, “That’s all the time.”

I scoffed, “It is not. How would you know?”

Her fingers combed through my hair, “I’ve learned to read you like an open book this week.”

My nose grazed along hers, “It’s not all the time, but you do have a way of driving me insane without even trying. I mean it, you’ve ruined me for anyone else. I crave you…your presence…your touch. I’d be eternally happy only having those things. The mind blowing sex is just a bonus.”

She smiled against my lips before wrapping her leg around mine and kissing me. We went on like that for a few minutes until she finally pulled away with a sigh.

My brows furrowed, ��What’s wrong?”

She rolled her eyes and huffed dramatically, “I really need to pee, but I don’t wanna leave you.”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. I felt like my heart was going to explode over her words.

“I’m not going anywhere. Go…then we can get ready for bed.”

She groaned and rolled out of the bed, shivering slightly as she stood. She grabbed a robe that was thrown over a chair in the corner and put it on as she walked toward the bathroom. I too got up and threw on my underwear. After running to my room to get my toothbrush, I grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge. Kat was coming out of the bathroom just as I came back into the bedroom. She smiled as I offered her a bottle of water, leaning in to murmur a quiet “thank you” against my lips before giving me a chaste kiss. She took a long drink before digging around in her makeup bag and pulling out a hair tie.

I gave her ass a little pat as I moved to the bathroom and began brushing my teeth. She followed to do the same. It was an odd feeling to share the space with her while doing such a mundane task. I couldn’t really recall ever having brushed my teeth or gone through my bedtime routine with someone, let alone someone I had just had sex with. It was domestic and intimate in a strange sort of way. I found myself wanting more experiences like this with her.

I realized she was eyeing me in the mirror with a smirk. After spitting out a glob of toothpaste, her eyebrow arched, “What are you thinking so hard about?” Busted.

I shrugged, then spit. “I was just thinking…I’ve never done this with someone before.”

Her lips tugged upward, “What, brushed your teeth?”

I shook my head, “I’ve never gotten ready for bed with anyone. It feels…I dunno. I can’t really put it into words.” I want this every night for the rest of my life.

Her brows furrowed before she turned to rinse out her mouth. When she was finished, she peered at me with a soft gaze.

“It’s a good feeling though…right?” she asked.

I nodded, “Definitely.”

Her hand rose to rest on my chest, right on top of my fluttering heart. My hand instinctively moved to rest atop hers.

“Are you ok? Your heart is racing.” That explains the light headed feeling.

I swallowed thickly, then gave her a weak smile, “Yeah, I’m good. Just excited to be in your presence I guess.” I fucking love you.

She gave me a skeptical look as she turned to pick up her brush and comb it through her hair. Then, I watched her fingers work the long strands into a simple braid down her back, causing me to randomly have an urge to learn how to do that. She seemed to enjoy when I had fixed her hair earlier in the week, and oddly enough, it made me feel closer to her. I wanted more. You’re down bad, Bravo. So fucking bad.

My fingers reached for the braid and rubbed it between my fingertips. I smirked at the thought of being able to do that for her.

“Do you usually braid your hair for bed?” I asked.

She shrugged, “A lot of the time…or just a messy bun on top of my head, but that usually doesn’t end well the next morning.”

She pulled a makeup remover wipe from a package sitting on the sink and began wiping her face. I watched her for a beat, still soaking in her nighttime routine. I was fascinated by it for some reason. Her eyes caught mine in the mirror and she smiled. I leaned in and placed a kiss on the top of her head, “I’m gonna go attempt to fix the bed. I think I pulled the sheet off.”

She laughed, letting her free hand grope my ass as I walked out the doorway.

“Better watch that or else you might not get any sleep tonight, Kitten.”

I could hear her muttering something to herself as I moved toward the bed. I couldn’t help snickering because I knew it was over her new nickname.

I began pulling the pillows off the bed so that I could put the top half of the sheet back on the mattress properly. When I pulled up the pillow on the far side, it revealed something purple wedged between the mattress and headboard that caught my attention. I crawled across the bed to grab it. I nearly snorted when I realized what it was. Then it hit me, she definitely wasn’t doing yoga yesterday morning. I fucking knew it. Was she thinking about me then? I felt my dick twitch and had to change my train of thought.

I scrambled to finish making the bed, then sat on the edge waiting for her to finish up in the bathroom. I was curious how she would react to me finding it.

As soon as she walked into the bedroom, she paused. Her eyes caught sight of the purple happy stick in my hand almost immediately. My brows arched up at her as I fought a smile.

“Where did you find that?” she asked nervously.

I tried not to laugh, “Under your pillow.”

She looked horrified, “And you just picked it up without knowing whose it was or if it’s clean?”

I shrugged, “I mean, it looks clean. I just assumed it was yours.”

She shook her head as her cheeks tinged red, “Nope. Don’t know where that came from.”

I clicked my tongue, “So, you’re telling me you’ve been sleeping with someone else's vibrator under your pillow all week and didn’t notice?”

She stared at me with wide eyes, seeming unable to respond.

“It’s ok, I know you were not doing yoga yesterday…If it makes you feel better, I beat off in the shower before I went and got us breakfast.”

I tried my best to keep a serious face as she fought a smile. I knew that would get her.

“It doesn’t bother you…that I have one of those?” she asked quietly.

My brows furrowed, “Of course not…why would it? Hell, I have a few myself.”

I could see the tension leave her body, now realizing for the first time that she thought I would be upset over it. That fucking asshole.

“It’s just that Alec was weird about it…said it created unreasonable expectations…and that it was probably the reason I had trouble having an orgasm with him. When in reality it was just him apparently, because I definitely do not have that issue with you.”

A goofy grin slid across my face. I liked the fact that I could get her off when he couldn’t. I motioned for her to come sit on my lap, she acquiesced, wrapping one arm around my neck as she did. I reached to cup her face as I spoke.

“That guy was a fucking idiot. They’re meant to be a friend, not an enemy… to enhance the experience for both parties. Sex is about giving pleasure just as much as receiving it, how you get there shouldn’t matter.”

Her fingers found their way to my hair as I leaned in, resting my head against hers, “Obviously what he failed to realize is that you get what you give. For me, I get just as much pleasure out of being the reason that you come undone as I do from sex itself…and ultimately the sex is better because of that. If you need a little extra help to get off, so be it. Everyone is wired differently and has different needs, but he obviously missed that memo.”

Kat sighed quietly, then smiled as her fingers twisted tighter around the strands she was gripping, “Where’ve you been all my life, Dieter Bravo?”

My stomach felt like it was doing flips from the way she was looking at me. She was literally taking my breath away. After closing the distance between us, I kissed her deeply. Trying to convey the depth of my feelings for her without words. I kept it brief, soon breaking away to meet her gaze with a smirk, “I’ve been waitin’ for you to find me, honey.”

It wasn’t a lie. I really had been stuck in an endless cycle of self-sabotage, waiting for a lifeline - a reason to get it together and figure my life out. I only needed to put in the work to meet her halfway and prove that I was trying.

Her tinkling laugh caused my heart to race as she leaned in to capture my lips with hers. She was so fucking perfect. At that moment I knew I would do anything to make her happy and keep her in my life, including staying sober.

With a groan, I pulled away, “I think I need to get you to bed. We have to be up ridiculously early for our flight.”

She puffed air out of her cheeks in annoyance, “Fine. If you insist on being responsible and getting some sleep…”

She stood from my lap, untied the robe, and dropped it to the floor with a sly grin before crawling under the covers. My head slumped downward, chin to chest, as I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to ignore the arousal the sight of her naked body had caused. She already knew how to push my buttons in ways no one else did.

Once she was settled, I stood, moving to the opposite side of the bed before setting the vibrator on the nightstand and stripping off my boxer-briefs. I climbed into bed behind her, not hesitating to reach out and pull her against my chest, burying my face in the top of her hair to take in her citrus scent.

Within minutes, her breathing shifted to deep, steady breaths. It was a testament to how tired she was, but she would never admit to it. I laid there for a time, in the dark, surrounded by the scent of her…of us. For the first time, maybe ever, I felt content. It was a foreign feeling, but I could definitely get used to it.

As her body heat sunk into the depths of my soul, I dared to imagine what it would be like to go to bed with her every night and wake up together every morning. The strong desire for it took me off guard. Then the images in my mind shifted slightly to include a sparkling ring set on her left hand and a simple band on mine. This was another first. I had never considered giving myself to someone like that, but now I longed for it. I knew she was it for me and I wanted it more than anything, but I knew it was still too soon. It was too soon for the both of us. I still had shit from my past to work through before going there and she probably did too. I didn’t want to rush this. It needed to be nurtured and grow organically. I couldn’t let my impulsiveness get in the way.

With a soft sigh, my eyes finally slid closed. It didn’t take long for me to drift off with Kat wrapped up in my embrace.

Hours later, I awoke to Kat wiggling her ass against me. After squinting one eye open, I could see that it was nearing 5:30. I groaned, tightening my arms around her.

“Is there a reason you’re squirming?” I asked gruffly.

I could hear the smile in her sleep filled voice, “I can’t sleep.”

I sighed, trying with massive effort to ignore the morning wood she kept rubbing her bare ass against, “We don’t have to be up for another hour.”

I felt her hand slowly sneak down between us, her fingers wrapping around the hard length of my dick as I hissed through my teeth.

“You better be prepared to do something about that if you insist on waking him up.”

She let out a deep throaty chuckle, “I told you, I can’t sleep.”

She released me, her hand trailing up to mine, guiding it between her thighs. She was already soaking wet. It was my turn to chuckle as I leaned down peppering kisses along her neck and jaw, my fingers gently spreading her slick over the sensitive bundle of nerves that was already throbbing.

“It looks like my little sex kitten wants to come out and play.” My fingers slightly increased pressure as they danced around her clit. “Is that what you want sweetheart? You need me to play with you?”

A soft moan escaped her as she nodded. Her teeth biting into her bottom lip as she tried to hold in her sounds, failing miserably.

“Look at you, already being a good girl and purring for me.”

She let out a breathy laugh, “You’re so fucking ridiculous.”

My fingers slipped lower to her entrance, teasing. “I know, but I think you kind of like it.”

She shook her head in disagreement as I easily slipped two fingers inside of her, curling them against just the right spot and causing her to shiver as she began to grind against my hand. Small sounds still escaped her no matter how hard she tried to hold them back. Her eyes slid shut as she got lost in the feeling.

I licked up her neck, stopping to allow my lips to graze the shell of her ear as I echoed the words she said to me the previous night, “You gonna be a good girl and let me have my way with you this morning? It’s only fair.”

She smirked, turning to peer up at me through her lashes. It was enough to make my dick jump against her. Her smile widened as she arched back against me ever so slightly. I fought a smile, shaking my head in disapproval as I withdrew my hand from her wet heat. She let out a whiny groan as I turned toward the nightstand, grabbing her vibrator. She may have spent the previous evening edging me within an inch of my life, but I was determined to spend the next hour making her come over and over again until she was a quivering mess of tears from the pleasure.

I turned back toward her, tucking one arm underneath her torso and pulling her tightly against my chest. She giggled, dropping her head down against the pillow allowing me access to her neck. I wasted no time leaning down to place open mouthed kisses along her collarbone, clicking the vibrator on with my free hand to drag it against her nipple. She gasped at the unexpected sensation, knotting her fingers in my hair as I moved it to the other side. My nose trailed along her slack jaw as her breaths began to come out in soft pants against my face.

My lips found her ear again, “Show me how you like it.”

Her eyes met mine. She seemed almost hesitant at first, but eventually reached for the hand holding the vibrator, leading it downward between her thighs. She held my gaze as she guided the tip up the center of her slit, then proceeded to move it in tight circles over the small nub. She let out a heavy sigh, melting into me as her eyes drooped and her hips moved in time with our hands. Tremors ran through her body, each one becoming more intense as she got closer to the edge.

My gaze never left her face, watching as her brows pinched together and her teeth dug into her bottom lip. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. She struggled to hold her eyes open, determined to keep them on mine. I could feel her stomach muscles tightening under my arm as she arched into it, her breathing becoming heavier as she let out quiet whimpers. Her hand gripped my wrist firmly as I quickened my motions. She fell over the edge with a with a deep groan.

I chuckled, “You’re being such a good girl for me...coming already. Let’s see how many times I can make that happen before the alarm goes off.”

I turned the vibrator off as she lay there with her eyes closed, panting. I didn’t stop my movements. Instead, continuing to gently stroke up and down her center with the slightly curved head, spreading her slick and dipping it into her opening ever so often. I noticed her hips bucking upward just a fraction, seeming to crave more.

“Show me what else you like,” I whispered into her ear.

She swallowed thickly as she looked up at me, sliding her leg upward then lifting it over the top of my thigh, giving me better access to her dripping cunt. I smirked down at her as she shifted to grind her backside against me a little more, her hand dropping down to guide the vibrator to her entrance. She inserted it a few inches, the curved tip angled slightly toward the front. Her eyes clenched shut as she began to move it in and out - slowly. Always at the same angle and always just a few inches, stimulating that elusive spot inside. Her hand released mine once I got the motion down, allowing me to hit the on button before continuing. She gasped, her eyes drooping closed as her next orgasm began to build. Within minutes she was writhing against me, falling off the edge for a second time. Her body was trembling incessantly and covered in sweat. She had a blissed out smile on her lips as she came down from her release.

I gave her a few minutes, gently rubbing up and down the length of her naked body as her breathing returned to normal. When she finally opened her eyes, I smiled down at her as I reached to brush the stray hairs from her sweaty face, “Can I try it my way now?”

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, arching a brow as she gave me a slight nod, seeming intrigued by my offer. I shifted lower, notching my hard length at her sopping wet entrance from behind. I sunk into her, just a few inches - in and out, adjusting her leg over mine and the movement of my hips to get the angle right. When I heard her gasp and felt her press back into me, I knew I had found that spot again. I set a slow, but steady rhythm as I held her in place against me with the arm that was tucked under her.

With my free hand, I reached for the vibrator. Again, switching it on to the lowest setting and using the rounded tip to make tight circles around her clit. It didn’t take long before she fell apart again, and I was loving every second of it. My lips found her ear, “I want you to know…I’ll never deny you pleasure.”

Her face turned toward mine, our heads leaning together as she panted against my mouth. Her hand reached up to twist in my hair, pulling it tightly. I groaned from the sting as my hips moved against her a little faster, “You’re mine now…I’ll give it to you any way you want it, whenever you want it…without question.”

She suddenly tensed and moaned loudly against my lips, coming again for the third time without warning. I slowed my movements, drawing it out of her for as long as possible. I swallowed her gasps with a searing kiss as she continued to tremble against me. She returned the kiss with fervor, seeming more needy now than before we got started.

My hips never stopped, but I gave her a brief reprieve from the vibrator. Once I placed it back at the apex of her thighs, she began to squirm and whine.

“You got one more for me, Kitten?” I asked.

She shook her head, still panting, “I-I dunno…”

She looked absolutely wrecked, but I wasn’t done with her yet. It was taking everything in me to stay focused so that I didn’t lose it myself. I could tell I was getting close but was determined to hold out a little longer for her. I wanted to show her what she had been missing.

I set a relentless pace, thrusting a little harder and faster now. I clicked the button on the vibrator to bump up the speed. Kat turned her head, burying her face in the pillow to muffle the sobbing moans that she could no longer hold back. I could feel her walls fluttering around me again, she was close, but the tension in her shoulders told me she was holding back.

I nuzzled against her ear, shifting the arm that was looped under and around her so that I could grasp her chin to turn it toward me, “Look at me, sweetheart. I wanna see you.”

She twisted her torso toward me the best she could given our current position and captured my lips with hers. Her hand cupped my cheek as she continued to groan against my lips. Her hot breath coming out in a rush between kisses.

“Come on, Kitten. You’re so close…I can feel it. Give me another one,” I said in a soft, but commanding voice.

“I-I can’t,” she said in a near sob.

“Yes, you can, you’re almost there. Just let go.”

“I can’t…I…can’t do it…”

After a little more coaxing, she finally did. I didn’t stop or slow down. Instead, I went faster and applied more pressure with the toy. Her jaw tensed as she fought to hold back her sobs, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes as she shifted to clench her thighs together, squeezing my thigh between hers. I somehow managed to keep the vibrator moving through it as her walls continued to contract around me - over and over again.

I couldn’t hold on any longer, now thrusting deeper to chase my own release as I felt a rush of her slick covering my hand and thigh. It only took a few more thrusts before I was falling over the edge with her, completely losing it over the intensity and duration of her latest orgasm. Mine seemed to be just as intense as hers, causing my toes to curl and making me feel completely euphoric as I got lost in her.

I collapsed on the bed behind her, gasping for air as she did the same at my side. I couldn’t help chuckling as I pulled her back against me. She turned, burying her face in the crook of my neck as she tried to get herself together.

“You ok? Was that too much?” I asked quietly.

She shook her head, “No…but I don’t even know what just happened. Was that one long orgasm or multiple?”

Her words bubbled into quiet laughter against my chest. I couldn’t help hugging her tighter against me and laughing along with her. She settled in on her back, staring up at me as her giggles subsided. Her fingers found their way to my hair like they always did, and she began scratching at my scalp. Her mood seemed to shift suddenly, her expression serious as her eyes danced over my face.

“You ready to head back to LA today?” I asked as my fingers trailed down the curve of her waist.

She was quiet for a moment, eventually shaking her head, “No, I’m not ready for this trip to end.”

I gave her a sad smile. I’m not ready either. “Why not?”

Her brows pinched together, “Honestly, I’m afraid of what’s waiting for us when we get back. Drama is gonna be coming at us from all sides. Stacia and Joe are gonna have us under a microscope now after everything that’s happened. At least here, it’s just us. I don’t feel like we have to constantly be on guard. Ya know?”

I tried not to frown but failed. I knew she was right. They weren’t going to make it easy on us. “It’s gonna be fine. We’ll get through it together. And it’s not like we’ll be under a microscope ALL the time. We can be together in private when we’re not doing show stuff. We just have to make sure we keep our hands off each other in public and you stop looking at me with gooey eyes all the time.”

She scoffed, “Excuse me!?!? I do not.”

I smirked, “Yeah ya do…have been for weeks.”

She let out a nervous laugh, “Whatever, Bravo. You’re the one with that problem.”

My smile widened, “Oh I absolutely have that problem. Admitting to it is the first step. You’re just so fucking perfect…I can’t help it.”

Her cheeks flushed, “Stop it. I am not.”

I chuckled as I shifted above her, caging her in to shower her with kisses through her giggles. We were interrupted by my alarm going off. My hand blindly reached for the phone on the nightstand as I hovered above her. After shutting it off, I leaned down to suck on her bottom lip eliciting a deep groan from her. I continued to pepper kisses along her jaw between my rambling words.

“I actually can’t wait to get you home…in my house…in my bed…I wanna cook dinner…and breakfast for you. Maybe snuggle on the couch and watch a movie…make you fall apart…over…and over again.”

Kat wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling me against her center. Little Bravo was definitely taking notice. She sighed, “Dieter, if you don’t stop now, we’re gonna miss our flight.”

I snickered, “I can be quick too…”

She rolled her eyes and laughed, “That may be the case, but I don’t want you to be.”

I gave her one last peck on the lips, “Ugh, fine. I’ll go take a cold shower.”

“Can I…” she paused, seeming unsure of herself.

My brow arched at her, “You know the answer is yes…whatever it is.”

She laughed, her cheeks flushing as she asked, “Can I take a shower with you?”

I gave her a lopsided grin, “I thought we had a plane to catch?”

“We do. I mean it…just shower. Nothing else.”

I had never ‘just showered’ with anyone. Hell, I don’t even think you could call those showers at all. There was no getting clean involved. The idea of it had my heart racing. I wanted the intimacy of it. No, I needed it. I just wanted to be with her in every way possible.

My smile softened, “I would honestly really like that.”

I gave her a quick peck on the nose, then shifted to get out of bed. She watched me stretch as I stood, my dick was half hard and I didn't even bother to try and hide it. She chuckled, pulling the blankets back to get up. Her brows furrowed as she rubbed her thighs together.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

She snickered, “Yeah, you made a fucking mess of me.”

“Yeah? Well…you made a mess of me too. Pretty sure you squirted all over my thigh.”

Her mouth fell open, “Oh my god...I-Is that what happened?”

I nodded.

She looked a little stunned, “Well…that’s new.”

I couldn’t help feeling a little smug over it, “That’s what happens when you have someone that cares to figure out what they’re doing.”

She rolled her eyes and huffed out a laugh as she stood, “Shush you.” She paused, “Ugh, my legs feel weak.”

I chuckled, wrapping my arms around her middle for support as I guided her toward the bathroom. Kat got into the walk-in shower and turned on the water, adjusting the nozzles to get the right temperature before stepping under the spray. I stepped in behind her, snaking my arms around her waist to hold her against me as we let the warm water run down our bodies. She turned, kissing me gently as she reached up to run her fingers through my hair, making sure it was saturated before reaching for the shampoo. We continued on like that, placing light kisses and caresses as we took turns washing each other.

As she rinsed the conditioner from my hair, I began to feel somewhat emotional, and I didn’t really understand why. My chest felt tight, and I could feel a lump forming in my throat, but it wasn’t in a bad way. The only conclusion I could settle on was the fact that I could feel how she cared for me. It wasn’t fake. She wasn’t trying to take from me. I really felt like we were bonding in a way that I never had with another person, causing our connection to evolve and deepen. She was actually making me feel happy. It was overwhelming, making me feel breathless as she smiled at me.

We didn’t take things further, but the shower still lasted a little longer than it probably should have given that we were on a tight schedule. We had to rush to get ready and pack up so that we would make it to the airport on time. We barely managed it, but did make it. Luckily, the studio had booked us a set of seats in business class. Where we were situated gave us a little privacy, allowing Kat to comfortably snuggle into my side without prying eyes. She slept for most of the flight, citing that she felt completely spent from our morning exploits. I slept some, but mostly split my time between watching some cheesy movie and watching her. Watching her sleep seemed to be my new favorite pastime. There was something about seeing her cuddled up at my side, completely relaxed and unguarded. It made me feel even closer to her somehow, knowing this was a side of her that not many people had the opportunity to see. I reveled in every second of it.

Once we landed, she and I both had to make a conscious effort to behave ourselves, avoiding touching or looking at each other directly. It was obvious that eyes were on us as we made our way over to pick up our luggage. I wasn’t shocked to find paparazzi milling around as we moved toward the exit. They didn’t hesitate to approach us, attempting to make small talk about our time in New York and complementing our SNL performances. We smiled and politely went along with it until one of them began prying.

“A source has reported that you two were sharing a hotel room, is that true?”

Kat and I both tensed from the question. I could sense her eyes glancing in my direction as he continued to push for an answer. Sighing, I rolled my eyes at the guy, “Might wanna get a new source, dude. Not true.”

“Really, you were seen coming and going from one room together the whole time you were there.”

My jaw clenched as I took a deep centering breath. Who the fuck is feeding them information? “The studio put us up in a multi-room suite. We had separate bedrooms. We didn’t reserve it,” I finally said.

“So, you’re sticking to your story that you aren't together then?”

Kat scoffed and shook her head.

“Kat, do you have any comments on those photos of Alec and Lana that came out a few days ago?”

She tried to ignore him, not giving any reaction to the question at all as we continued walking. However, he kept pushing, each question about Alec getting more and more personal as he crowded her space to shove his camera in her face. I couldn’t take it anymore, moving to position myself between them as I gently guided Kat to the other side of me with a hand on her upper back. The pap tried to go around me, but I held out my arm to block him, “Dude, what’s your problem? Leave her alone or I’ll get security over here.”

“You’re awfully protective of her, Dieter. You sure nothing’s going on with you two?”

This guy was about to make me lose my cool, which I think might have been his goal. I had to remind myself that’s something the old Dieter would have done as I took another deep breath, refusing to give him anything to work with. Instead, I focused on getting Kat out of here. Luckily, we didn’t have to put up with them too much longer as the pickup exit came into view.

Once we made it outside, Evan was there waiting for us. I told Kat to wait in the car while Evan and I put our bags in the back. The paps were still there, with the one guy continuing to be an absolute asshat.

“Hey man, how’s sobriety going? You think you’re gonna stick to it this time? Have you ever been sober this long? What’s different about this round?”

He just kept going, on and on. I really wanted to punch him in the fucking face. My frustration intensified when I couldn’t get the bags to fit in the trunk. Evan could sense that I was getting worked up. He subtly nudged me with his elbow, “D, I got it. Just go wait in the car so this guy will fuck off.”

I gave him a tight nod, ignoring the camera and incessant questions as I moved to the back door to get in. The paps hung around, snapping shots of us in the back seat. Kat gave me a tense look, “I really hope this doesn’t become the new normal. This is fucking insane. Why are they being so pushy?”

I looked out the front window and narrowed my eyes on them as they continued to snap pictures of us, “I dunno. Somebody is obviously feeding them information, right?”

She sighed, “Have to be. I think we’re really gonna have to watch ourselves. They’re gonna be analyzing everything we do.”

Evan got into the driver’s seat, quickly starting the ignition and pulling out into traffic. Kat and I both visibly relaxed as we left the paparazzi behind. We didn’t move any closer together, but I did reach over to take her hand, entwining our fingers to rest on the seat between us.

“Sorry that guy was giving you trouble, D. If I had known that was going to be an issue I would have called ahead for security.”

I squeezed Kat’s hand a little tighter, “It’s fine, it was really just the one guy that was a problem.”

Evan nodded, looking at me in the rearview mirror, “Thank God for that…Anyway, how was your trip? Everything else go OK without me being there to hold your hand?”

I scoffed, “I can follow a schedule without assistance you know.”

Evan laughed, “Yeah, when you’re in the mood to do it.”

I rolled my eyes at him, “Zee still doing OK?”

He nodded again, “Yeah, she's a little mopey, but still feisty and still doesn’t like me. She’ll be happy to see you, I’m sure.”

I chuckled. It still warmed my heart a little that she didn’t seem to like anyone but me or Kat. I liked to think that maybe it was a sign of some sort.

Evan briefly glanced back over his shoulder in Kat’s direction, “Oh, Kat, the locksmith guy should be at your place just after we get there…said it should take an hour and a half tops to change everything out.”

Kat smiled, “Thanks. I appreciate it, but really you didn’t have to do that.”

He laughed, “I get paid to do what Dieter tells me to do, so yeah, I did. Really, it was no big deal.”

Kat shook her head at me, biting back a smile.

We drove in silence for a few minutes until Evan eventually spoke, attempting small talk, “So, aside from the crazy paparazzi, how was your week in New York?”

I couldn’t control the smile on my face, as I glanced over at Kat. She turned to look out the window, covering her smirk with her hand.

I cleared my throat, “It was good. We had a good week.”

I could feel Evans' eyes on my face in the rearview mirror. Tucking my bottom lip between my teeth, I too turned to look out the window.

“That’s it? Just…a good week?”

My gaze met his in the mirror, “Yeah. I mean…it was work. All week.”

His eyes narrowed on me. Fuck. He knows.

“You're being dodgy, D. What did you do?”

I laughed nervously, “Nothing. I behaved myself.”

He stopped at a red light, then turned in his seat to look between us, his eyes immediately dropping down to see our entwined hands on the seat. Kat and I looked between each other and Evan, wide-eyed as a huge grin spread across his face.

“I fucking knew it!”

I sighed and raked my free hand down my face, “Evan, please shut up.”

A horn blared behind us, Evan laughed loudly as he turned forward realizing the light was now green.

“Don’t worry, D. You know I won’t say anything. I’m so fucking excited for you guys though…greatest news ever! He’s been pining over you for weeks, Kat. I hope you know that.”

Fucking hell. “Evan, shut up. Please.”

Kat chuckled beside me, “No, Evan. Please keep going.”

Evan was about to say something else, but I cut him off, “Remember who pays you, dude.”

His mouth snapped shut. He huffed through his nose, “Sorry, Kat. He has a point.”

I looked at Kat with a smug grin, “For the record, I’ve said nothing to him. He just made assumptions. You can’t believe anything he says.”

Kat laughed at our banter, now relaxing some and scooting just a little closer. The three of us slipped into easy conversation after that, filling Evan in on our week and chatting about SNL. Kat and Evan took the opportunity to gang up on me and affectionately give me hell about my plant obsession. I loved that they seemed to be getting along and felt comfortable enough around each other to laugh and joke around. My circle was very small, so it was important to me that they got along.

Sometime later, Evan pulled into Kat’s driveway. We all exited the vehicle. Evan and I dug through the trunk, pulling out my bags to get to Kat’s. Evan was just shutting the trunk when the locksmith pulled into the driveway. Kat took a moment to talk through what she needed done with the locksmith. Afterward, he disappeared to the back of his van to gather his supplies.

I grabbed Kat’s luggage, then glanced over at Evan, “Can you handle that from here? I wanna make sure there aren’t any assholes lurking around.” My eyes shifted to Kat, “Assuming that’s OK with you, of course.”

Her lips tugged upward on one side, “Yeah, that’s…OK. I would appreciate that.”

I followed her to the front door, suddenly feeling nervous that I was about to see her place for the first time. She keyed in, holding the door open for me as I drug her luggage inside.

I gave her a nervous smile, “Where do you want these?”

She looked anxious, fidgeting with the keys in her hand, “Ummm, just leave them in the living room.”

I followed her further inside and set the luggage down next to the couch. She ran her hands through the top of her hair, “Sorry, it’s sort of a mess in here. Not as squeaky clean as your place.”

I looked around, it wasn’t bad. She had a pile of laundry at the end of the love seat, mail piled on the coffee table, and a blanket and pillow strewn across the couch. There were other little things lying around - an iPad, book, glasses, and an empty coffee cup. Otherwise, the place was pretty clean. I shrugged, “It’s not that bad. My place looked a hell of a lot worse than this before I hired a housekeeper. I was also a drunk and an addict…sooo, use your imagination.”

Her brow furrowed, “Fair enough. I just usually don’t feel like doing much while the show is in season. It takes a lot out of me these days.”

I reached out to rub her arm, “That’s understandable. I promise I won’t hold it against you. You know…I could send…”

She poked me in the chest, “Dieter, no. Stop it.”

I held my hands up in defeat, “I know, I’m just saying…A little help never hurt anyone.”

She rolled her eyes, “No. I don’t need it. Now, let's check for lurking assholes.”

After a quick peck on my lips, she grabbed my hand, leading me through the house to check things out. My eyes scanned over the surroundings, taking in the spaces for the first time. She kept things simple, with minimal decor all in earth tones with small splashes of color. She did have several paintings, all abstract pieces of dancers. I had to smile to myself knowing the pieces I had been working on. They would fit right in with the rest of her collection.

I followed her downstairs to find she had her own mini dance studio - hardwood floors with a wall of mirrors. The room was basically empty aside from a loveseat on the far wall and a small table with speakers.

Kat moved toward a door at the bottom of the steps, “Let me just go check the garage. I’m not seeing anything out of place. All of his junk is still here. It doesn’t look like he’s been around. Maybe he was afraid of running into Evan again?”

I nodded as my eyes focused on a mess of fabric hanging from ceiling gliders in the corner, “Yeah, maybe…”

She poked her head in the garage and looked around before closing the door again, “Everything looks good in there too.”

I could feel her eyes on my face as she came to stand beside me, “What are you looking at?”

I cleared my throat and gave her a questioning look, “I-Is that a sex swing?”

Her eyes drifted to where I had been staring moments before, then she snorted. “Really? That’s the first place your mind goes?”

I gave her a sheepish smile and shrugged, “It’s what it looks like.”

She laughed and shook her head, “No, those are aerial silks. I do aerial yoga.”

Her hands slid around my waist as she leaned in next to my ear to whisper, “It’s how I stay bendy.” She pulled back, smiling at me.

I gave her a wolfish grin as I pulled her in closer to press my forehead to hers, “I don’t actually know what that is, but it sounds fucking hot. I’d like to watch you do that some time…and maybe participate…in some way.”

She laughed against my lips, “Life with you is never boring, Dieter Bravo.”

I gave her a quick peck, “I like to keep you on your toes…and keep your toes curling.”

She cackled, moving to wrap her arms around my neck. I leaned in and kissed her again, more deeply this time. My hands gripped her hips, gently squeezing and pulling them against mine.

She hummed against my lips, then pulled away, “We still need to rehearse, and we have spray tans this evening, so we can’t get too carried away.”

I rolled my eyes and groaned, “Can we please skip the spray tan?”

She sighed, “You know what…I don’t wanna do it either. I vote we skip it. Fuck’em. We need to rehearse and I’m in no hurry to run into Alec. I think we can get away with it this week.”

I snorted, “You might be spending too much time with me…”

She shrugged with a smile, “I’ll let production know not to expect us. Do you need to run home before we go to the dance studio?”

My hand scratched at the back of my neck, “I dunno, if I go home just to leave again, Zee might not let me back in the house…”

Kat giggled, “That’s true…I certainly wouldn’t make it easy on you if I were her.”

I huffed out a laugh, “Gee, thanks. Maybe I’ll just send Evan back with my luggage for now and have him pick me up later? We can go grab an early dinner then head to the studio if you want? Ooor…we can rehearse here…”

Her eyes narrowed, “Dieter, I’m fairly certain that if we tried to rehearse here, there would be no rehearsing.”

I barked out a laugh, “You’re probably right. To the studio then…where we have to behave.”

I gave her one last kiss, this one a little more heated as I hugged her tightly against me. We were interrupted by someone clearing their throat behind us at the top of the stairs. Our attention averted to Evan standing there, hands in pockets with a shit eating grin on his face.

“Sorry to interrupt you two, but Kat, the locksmith is ready to work on the side door that goes into the garage.”

Her cheeks flushed as she nodded, “Got it. I’ll go open the door for him. Thanks for helping with that.”

After Kat walked out into the garage, Evan looked at me and silently mouthed “Oh. My. God.” as he bounced down the stairs to meet me.

I couldn’t help smiling, “Shut up. Don’t say anything.”

He bumped me with his elbow, “You guys are too damn cute. Dude, you’ve got it so bad. I’ve never seen you like this…”

I raised my hand, “Stop. I don’t wanna hear it.”

He held up his hands in surrender, “Ok. Ok. All I’m gonna say is, I approve. She’s fucking awesome…and hot. She makes you look like less of a hot mess.”

I scoffed, “Oh fuck off with that.”

As we waited for Kat to finish up with the locksmith, I filled Evan in on the plans for the evening. He agreed and left soon after that. Kat and I weren’t far behind him, first driving to grab some take out and eating in the car. We weren’t in the mood to be bothered by fans or paparazzi if they happened to appear as they seemed to have a way of doing lately. We ate quickly and mostly in silence, realizing the day was getting away from us. It would be our only chance to rehearse in the studio before the live performance, so we did want to try and take advantage of it.

It was weird rehearsing in the dance studio after being completely alone and uninhibited in New York. We were cognizant that anyone could walk by and see us through the glass, making sure to keep a reasonable distance between us throughout the evening. The vibes, however, were completely different. We were focused and only discussing the dance, but the electricity buzzing between us was at an all-time high. There was a new intensity in the way we moved together, perfectly synchronized and connected. We could read each other so effortlessly in how our bodies shifted around the dance floor. There were no more verbal cues passing between us, only looks and guiding touches. I could feel her unyielding trust and confidence in me more than ever and honestly, it was making me fall for her all over again.

After a few run throughs, Kat mentioned that we might need to take it down a few notches. Even we could sense the chemistry sparking between us now. There was no denying it. We decided to try and take a more playful and flirty approach. Not changing the choreography but executing it in a way that didn’t look like we were seconds away from having hot passionate sex on the dance floor. It was a major feat, but we finally got it figured out - or so we thought.

Before we knew it, it was nearing 10PM and Evan was texting to let me know he was outside waiting. I sighed, bumping Kat with my shoulder, “I think I’ve gotten spoiled being with you this week. Going to bed without you is sort of a depressing thought. You sure you don’t wanna come home with me?”

She chuckled, “I do, but you need to spend some time with Zee when you get home. We also need to actually get some sleep tonight.”

She has a point. I nodded in agreement, but that didn’t keep me from whining, “Fiiiine. I’ll suffer through it.”

I reached out, subtly grabbing her pinky with mine, “I’d really like to give you a goodnight kiss, but I know that’s probably a bad idea.”

She shook her head, “Probably not a good idea while we’re here.”

My lips set into a tight line, “This is gonna be a tortuous seven weeks, isn’t it?”

She laughed and nodded, “Probably…but it’s not like we can’t see each other outside of the studio, so calm down.”

“Fair point. Ok, I’ll walk you to your car and I will behave myself.”

Kat grabbed her bag, then we made our way toward the exit. As soon as we stepped outside, I noticed a car across the street that had someone sitting inside it.

“I’m probably being paranoid, but that might be a pap over there,” I said, nodding my head in the direction of the vehicle.

Kat’s eyes shifted and squinted off in the distance. She blew air out of her cheeks, “Yeah, you might be right.”

“Fucking hell.”

I followed two steps behind Kat as we walked toward her car and where Evan was parked next to it. I took a minute to open the driver side door for her as she tossed her bag through to the passenger seat. She smiled up at me, “I guess I’ll see you bright and early.”

I nodded, “Yep, I’ll be there with my dancing shoes on. Text me when you get home and are locked inside, please…wanna make sure you’re safe.”

Her lip tugged upward as she sat in the seat, “I will. Give Zee some hugs for me? Goodnight.”

I nodded, “Night, Kit-Kat.”

I reached down and hit the lock button on her door, then shut it. I could see her smiling and shaking her head as she started the ignition. I watched her back out, giving a brief wave as she put the car in drive, then turned to get in the passenger seat of Evan’s car. I was met by his smirking face.

“What?” I asked in a clipped voice.

“You’re down bad, dude.”

I let out a controlled breath, “I am. So fucking bad.”

Evan barked out a laugh as he backed out of the parking spot, “At least you’re aware.”

We were quiet for a few minutes. Suddenly, Evan opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but snapped it back shut.

I crossed my arms over my chest, “Spit it out.”

His grip tightened on the steering wheel, “It’s just that…you’ve been doing so well. I don’t want this to derail you.”

My brows furrowed, “Why would it? I haven’t even thought about doing any of that shit since I’ve been spending time with Kat.”

He chewed on his cheek, considering his next words, “And if it doesn’t work out with her?”

The question felt like a punch to the gut. I hadn’t even considered it. The way it stood right now, I couldn’t imagine a path to that. We seemed to be fitting together seamlessly.

“IF that were to happen…I like to think that I could handle it. I’m in a better place now and I’ve learned healthier coping mechanisms… I’ve surrounded myself with good people who won’t take advantage of my troubles.”

I paused briefly, shrugging as I thought through my next words, “I got here without her so it’s not like I need her to stay where I’m at. However, she’s making me happy…it’s like she’s the last missing piece. I…”

I wasn’t sure if I dared speak the next words out loud. I could feel my heart racing at the thought. I could feel Evan’s glances in my direction, patiently waiting for me to continue.

He sighed, “Just say it, D. What’s on your mind?”

I puffed air out of my cheeks, raking my hands down my face. I could feel the sweat beading at the base of my neck as I swallowed thickly, “I can imagine myself being with her…like, long term. Fuck, I’d move her in with me tomorrow if she’d do it. I-I’ve never wanted that with anyone before.”

Evan’s eyes widened, “Woah, that’s pretty heavy, D. That’s a big step for you.”

I laughed nervously, “Trust me, I know. I mean, that’s not gonna happen…not tryin’ to rush things. I’m trying to be realistic about it. We still need to get to know each other and all that…but I feel…hopeful.”

“Damn, D. I’m proud of you man. For once you’re not acting impulsively.”

I chuckled, “Na, I don’t think she would let me. She totally calls me out on my shit.”

He smacked the steering wheel as he laughed, “Good. You need that…and for what it’s worth, I do like her so far. She seems genuine.”

I couldn’t help smiling at his words. I loved that he liked her.

He pulled into my driveway a short time later. After a quick thanks, I made my way to the front door and keyed in. My eyes immediately sought out Zee so I could scoop her up and cuddle her. I found her sitting at the edge of the couch. I don’t know what sort of reaction I expected from her, but sassy indifference wasn’t it. She gave me serious side eye as I sat my keys, wallet, and phone down and toed off my shoes.

I approached her, speaking in a soft voice, “Hey baby girl. Did you miss me?”

I squatted down in front of her just as she stood, turned her back to me, flicked her bushy tail in my face, and jumped from the couch. She sashayed over to her cat tree, then made her way up to the very top. She perched with her back to me, still flicking her tail with attitude.

I snorted out a laugh, “Really? I’m gone for a week to work so I can fund your extravagant freeloading lifestyle, and this is what I get?”

More side eye and tail flicking.

“Ok. Fine. No cuddles means no bedtime snack.”

Her tail paused as she finally turned to look at me with her rounded green eyes. “Ahh, that got your attention, huh?”

She stood and meowed loudly, eventually making her way down to the lower level of the tree before jumping down and walking toward the kitchen with determination. “You’re about to hardcore swindle me aren’t you, you little shit?”

She proceeded to chatter at me. I felt like I was being scolded as I made my way over to her personal cabinet for a bag of treats. She wasn’t interested in any of them. Instead, she kept trying to lead me to the refrigerator. I sighed, knowing what she wanted and hoping that Evan had boiled a chicken breast for her. I had started something with that. It was now a thing she demanded.

“I gotta hand it to you…you’re a confident little thing and you definitely know what you want.”

She jumped up on the island, staring at me intently as she swished her tail around. I rolled my eyes and pulled the refrigerator door open, scanning the shelves for a glass bowl with chicken. I easily found it on the top shelf because Evan had apparently printed a label for it that said ‘Queen Zee’s Fucking Chicken’.

I chuckled, “You gave uncle Evan hell, didn’t you baby girl?”

She let out a low mewl, looking somewhat smug now as I pulled out the bowl and popped the lid off. I pulled off a few tiny shreds of meat, letting her take them one-by-one from my hand. After they were gone, she began to meow loudly again and rub her head against my hand. I sighed, “Fucking swindler…fine. One more and that’s it. We gotta get ready for bed.”

She seemed satisfied after that. After putting her bowl back in the fridge, I moved to wash my hands. I heard my phone ding with a text just as I was drying them. As I figured, it was Kat.

Kit Kat: I’m home, locked inside, and in bed. I already miss having you with me. ☹️

Her words caused a rush of excitement, but also longing. I would have loved to have her with me, at her place or mine. I didn’t care where, but I did have Zee to think about too.

Me: I miss you too, sweetheart. Maybe you can come over after rehearsals some this week? I’d love to make you dinner again. Something Greek, maybe? 😏

Kit Kat: I love it when you talk dirty to me. 😉

Kit Kat: Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you bright and early. Goodnight. 😘

I couldn’t keep the goofy grin off my face as I read her latest messages. I loved it when she was playful and flirty.

Me: Sweet dreams, Kitten. 😘

I couldn’t help wondering if she would roll her eyes or clench her thighs together over the mention of the new nickname. I could picture her doing both simultaneously and it caused a snicker as I made my way upstairs to get ready for bed.

Minutes later I was settled in, trying my best to fall asleep, but I couldn’t. Without Kat’s warm body snuggled against me, I felt restless. I hated the lonely feeling that her absence left in the pit of my stomach. I only had a small taste of what it was like to have her with me, but it was all I needed to get hooked.

Zee eventually made her way to bed, obviously over her anger as she snuggled up in the crook of my arm and purred herself to sleep. That seemed to help me relax enough to doze off. At least I wasn’t alone.

My 5:30 AM alarm came fast. I felt like I had just closed my eyes as I rolled out of bed. I went through my usual routine of getting ready, feeding Zee, and stopping to get Kat and I some breakfast and coffee before heading to the production studio. I was feeling a little on edge, somewhat worried about Alec causing drama. However, I reasoned that he had had a week to cool off and had clearly moved on with Lana. Maybe he would just let it go. I hoped so, for Kat’s sake. She tried to act like his behavior didn’t bother her, but I knew it did.

Kat and I arrived early, as usual. We were both smiling like fools when we caught sight of each other. I couldn’t help touching the small of her back as I leaned in to tell her “Good morning” and hand her coffee and breakfast over. A heated look passed between us that set my heart racing. I could already tell that it was going to be so hard to act normal while we were around others.

She smirked, leaning in to speak in a low voice, “Careful Bravo, you’re gettin’ the gooey eyes when you look at me.”

My brows arched, “Yeah? So are you, sweetheart.”

We both laughed as we made our way to the ballroom. Our early arrival made us first in line for camera blocking and run throughs of the performance. The crew was still getting things set up, so we took a minute to finish up our breakfast and coffee as we waited. Other couples soon began to filter in. I could tell Kat was getting more and more tense each time the door opened.

“You ok?” I asked her in a near whisper.

She nodded, “Yeah, I’m just afraid he’s gonna cause drama.”

I reached out to give her hand a small squeeze, “If he does, he’s gonna have me to deal with. I’ll break his fucking face this time.”

She peered up at me through her lashes with a smirk, “While I find your protective side to be incredibly hot, you will not do anything. He’s not worth it.”

I couldn’t agree to that. Luckily, I didn’t have to because our attention was drawn to the band Director who wanted to discuss the music arrangement before we got started. After that, things were in full swing as we began our run throughs. By that point, Alec and Lana had arrived. I swear I could feel their eyes on us. I think Kat could too, which would explain the tension running through her body during our first round.

As we waited for the cameras and lights to reset, I grabbed both of her hands and gave her arms a shake, “Loosen up. We’re supposed to be making this flirty and fun, remember? Ignore the asshole and focus on me.”

She chuckled, “I think I’m the one that’s supposed to be telling you to loosen up…”

They gave us the signal to take our starting position, which I took advantage of as I gripped her hips and pulled her backside against me more than necessary. I could see the hint of a smile as she tilted her face to the side toward mine. My lips leaned in next to her ear, “Relax, I’ve got you.”

That seemed to do the trick. I could feel the tension leave her body as she all but melted into me just as the music started. We did try to keep it fun and flirty, but there was no denying the sparks between us no matter how hard we tried to hide them. By the time we finished, all eyes were on us. It had clearly drawn everyone’s attention.

Surprisingly, they didn’t ask us to go through it again and gave leave for us to head out for our final wardrobe fitting. There was a quiet murmur of voices and a weird vibe as we walked off the dance floor. Kat and I made sure to keep our distance from each other as we walked toward the exit, but I could sense her uneasiness. I was feeling it too.

As we stepped into the empty hallway, our eyes connected.

“Is it just me or was that weird?” she asked.

I nodded in agreement, “No, that was definitely weird.”

She puffed air out of her cheeks, “Maybe it’s just because they all know about the Alec thing now. I’m sure that’s caused some gossip in our absence.”

That thought did nothing to alleviate the uneasiness I was feeling, “Yeah, maybe…”

Our wardrobe fitting went quickly as no alterations were needed. Kat looked amazing as always. The sheer fabric they had swapped out on the skirt half of the dress was flowy, yet hugged her curves perfectly. It emphasized her hips, taking my mind back to how those hips moved on top of me in New York. Her eyes had caught mine drifting up her body in the mirror as she turned and twisted to get a good view of the new sparkly material. The smirk on her lips told me that she knew exactly what I was thinking about as she innocently twisted her hips a little more.

We were ahead of schedule as we made our way down to hair and makeup, quickly taking a seat with the ladies that had worked on us the previous week. They had made the process a little less painful, actually chatting and having fun with us. I made an attempt to learn their names this time. Holly, who had done Kat’s hair the previous week, began combing through her long locks as she eyed me, “Dieter, do you have any hair recommendations this week?” she asked.

Kat and I laughed, “I’m not sure why you would ever want my recommendations. I’m sure Kat doesn’t.”

Samantha, who was working on my hair, smiled, “I dunno, your recommendation sort of pulled the look together.”

Kat’s foot kicked at mine, “You always have an opinion. Share it.”

I snickered. She wasn’t wrong, “Hmmm, with that dress…I think down in soft, romantic waves would be best. I’m not a fan of it being slicked back with a gallon of hair gel.”

Samantha paused with the container of hair gel in her hand, “You want yours down in soft, romantic waves too, honey?” She had a teasing look on her face. Kat and Holly both snorted out laughter.

I chuckled, “Uh, I didn’t know that was an option. Do I get extensions too? I think it would look fabulous. I could give Fabio a run for his money.”

All the ladies burst into laughter just as Alec and Lana came strolling in. Alec had a stony look on his face as he sat on the opposite side of the room. Lana on the other hand, seemed amused about something as she glanced our way. It was sort of bizarre. Kat gave me a questioning look. She had seen it too. I shrugged in response.

Our small group continued to be boisterous, not caring about our new company. Several other couples soon filled the stations, but it didn’t seem to lessen the tension in the room. Even though we pretended to ignore it, it was definitely there. Kat had turned her seat to face me, with her back to Alec. I, on the other hand, could see his reflection perfectly. I didn’t miss how his eyes flicked over in our direction ever so often. His expression remained neutral, giving nothing away as he alternated between watching us and listening to his partner. My gut was telling me he was a ticking time bomb, waiting for the perfect moment to go off.

Holly finished up with Kat’s hair, smiling as she asked me what I thought of the final product. I looked Kat over, not even paying much attention to her hair. I knew my sappy face had to be giving me away, but I sort of didn’t care, “I think she looks fucking amazing.”

I felt Kat nudge my foot with hers as her eyes widened. I quickly looked away and glanced at myself in the mirror, “I mean, not as good as me, obviously.” It had the intended effect as Samantha and Holly laughed.

As they worked on our makeup, I blabbed about how Zee gave me hell when I got home the previous night. That topic seemed to keep everyone entertained until we were finished. I could feel Alec’s eyes on us as we got up to leave. I made sure to block his view of Kat as much as possible, allowing her to walk ahead of me to exit. We did a quick change into our costumes then headed back to the ballroom for our final dress rehearsal. After going through it once, we were free until showtime.

Evan was kind enough to bring us lunch after we found catering to be less than satisfying. He joined us in my dressing room while we ate. It was a nice distraction and gave him and Kat a chance to get to know each other a little better. It was nearing showtime when he left, but it still gave Kat and I a few minutes to ourselves. As soon as he closed the door behind himself, Kat’s eyes were on me. She stood from the chair she had been sitting in and moved to perch on my lap, resting her arms around my neck as she looked at my gelled back hair, “I really should tell them to leave your hair loose too. It doesn’t look very touchable like this.”

I laughed, “No kidding. It’s like fucking concrete.”

One hand trailed down my cheek, then her thumb brushed over my lips, “I really wanna kiss you right now.”

Her voice was low, her eyes dilating as I looked into them. I couldn’t help tightening my grip on her hip, “What’s stopping you?”

“It’ll fuck up our makeup and we’ll have explaining to do.”

I sighed, gently nuzzling our noses together, “Fucking makeup.”

She laughed quietly as I leaned my head against hers, “I’m perfectly content with a good cuddle too. I hate not being able to be affectionate whenever I want to.”

There was a flash of emotion on her face. I couldn’t place it. Sadness maybe? Regret? Both? Her arm tightened around my neck slightly. I shifted, leaning my head down to place a kiss on her bare shoulder. Our moment was interrupted by staff calling out the 20 minute warning in the hallway. Kat reluctantly pulled away and began fiddling with the buttons on my shirt, undoing two of them. I chuckled, “What’re you doing?”

Her hand dipped inside and laid flat against my chest, “Encouraging your button allergy and…maybe showing you off a little.”

Her eyes shifted up to meet my gaze, “And I just needed to feel you.”

That same look from a moment ago returned. I could see it now, she was anxious. My hand dropped down over hers on my chest, lacing our fingers together before bringing them to my lips for a soft kiss. My eyes never left hers. We stayed like that for a beat until I begrudgingly broke the spell, “We probably need to get to the staging area now.”

She nodded, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

She stood, not letting go of my hand, pausing to grab her phone and give herself a quick once over in the mirror, then pulled me along to the door. I wrapped my arm around her waist, stopping her and pulling her back against my chest, leaning in to speak quietly against her ear, “Just for the record, you look like a fucking goddess today.”

She smiled, “You’re not looking so bad yourself.”

I chuckled as she opened the door and stepped away from me into the hallway. We silently made our way through the hustle and bustle to the staging area to wait for the show to begin. It was nice to have Kat there with me the entire time since she didn’t have to worry about the professional dancers performance this week.

Throughout the show, we stayed huddled close together, watching and critiquing the performances of each couple. After tonight, it would be down to eight couples, which meant the competition was about to become much more intense. There were several groups that had really improved, and at least four of them appeared to be serious competitors for Kat and me. As if there wasn’t enough fuel on the fire, one of the four couples happened to be Alec and Lana.

Our performance was scheduled to be last this week. So, we had a pretty good idea of what we were up against. As our performance got closer, we stepped over to the hair and makeup team for some quick touch ups, then Kat pulled out her phone and headphones, not deviating from our routine of getting us hyped up. I, however, didn’t feel like we needed hyping up for this one. I wanted to be in the right mindset for the performance, to feel the emotions of the music we were dancing too. I also felt like she was still a little anxious and wanted to help her relax.

I reached for her phone, “Can I make a suggestion this week?”

She gave me a quizzical look and nodded, opening her music app and passing the phone to me. I found the song that we were dancing to this week and hit play. She smiled at me.

I winked and grabbed her hand, “Just setting the mood.”

I wanted so badly to hold her, but I knew that probably wasn’t a good idea. Instead, I pulled her hand to my chest where she had placed it earlier, resting mine over hers, I began doing some of the basic footwork for the Rumba, before transitioning into the quick, quick, slow box pattern in the small open space we had to ourselves. I hoped that it would appear that we were practicing a bit before going out onto the dance floor, even if we weren’t framed in the proper position.

It seemed to have the intended effect on her as her eyes locked with mine. I could feel the tension leaving her body as we moved together and blocked out the flurry of activity around us, only focusing on each other. We went on like this for a good portion of the song until I eventually pulled her in for a hug and continued swaying to the music. We didn’t say anything. We didn’t need to. I felt like the lyrics of the song were doing a lot of the talking for us - at least they were for me. There was a new intensity and focus that passed between us as the last notes played. It gave me goosebumps and had my heart fluttering in that way it tended to do when I was with her.

Nearby movement caught my attention. It was one of the camera operators tasked with getting behind the scenes footage. I sighed, knowing he had probably caught a lot of that, but I also kind of didn’t care. A production assistant appeared at our side, letting us know that we needed to get in place. We nodded as Kat grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the ballroom floor entrance.

The minute we took our starting position, the air around us was crackling with that strange electricity that I always felt between us. As soon as I slid my left hand around Kat’s waist and pulled her backside against my front, I knew there was going to be nothing playful or flirty about this performance. She melted into me and seemed to be all in for taking the sensual route. My right hand reached to lift hers to the back of my neck and slid down the underside of her arm. She turned her head to the side, our lips nearly touching as my right hand took her left to fan her outward. It was almost like we were back on the rooftop in New York, completely alone and lost in each other.

We didn’t miss a beat, executing each move perfectly. Our footwork was completely in sync as we twisted and twirled around the room. I could feel a rush of something run through me each time our eyes met. Hers were blazing with the fire that I had longed to see there since I first noticed it, and they were blazing for me. The connection that I felt with her in that moment seemed almost otherworldly and had definitely ascended to a new level. There was no hiding whatever was happening between us. It was on display for everyone to see, more so than it had been during the morning rehearsals.

By the time we got to the lift, Kat had completely thrown all caution to the wind. After wrapping her legs around my waist and rolling her torso upward, her hands found their way to the sides of my face, grazing her lips against mine as I turned us to transition to the next move. We damn near kissed on live national television. We didn’t hold back through the last half of the song, feeling every word, every note, and pouring it into our performance. By the time she spun into me for the last lift and ending pose, I felt like I could have kissed her right there in front of the world, but I refrained. I let her take the lead on how she wanted to end it. After dipping her backwards, her right hand found its way to my cheek as she nudged our noses together. Her eyes were bright as she broke into a dazzling smile and leaned her head against mine. I stood, wrapping my arms around her middle to lift her with me. She pulled me into a tight hug as the audience broke into near deafening applause.

We made our way over to the judge’s table for feedback. All they gave were words of praise, emphasizing how the chemistry between us had reached new levels and was off the charts for this performance. They also mentioned that we oozed sensuality and were perfectly in step with one another. Their enthusiasm blew me away and I honestly hadn’t seen them that excited for any of the other performances this week. No one had gotten a perfect score yet, but three of the couples were within 5 points of it after tonight. I was hopeful that we could at least get one of the high scores for the night based on their reaction.

Once they were finished with their feedback, Kat and I made our way over to the interview area and waited for a commercial break to end to receive our scores. Her right hand wrapped around my bicep while the other squeezed my hand tightly. I shot a nervous glance in her direction as she leaned in, “Don’t worry, the whole thing was perfect. We’ve got this.”

We held each other's gaze, both of us with a small smile on our lips. Her confidence helped me relax some. Our attention was pulled back to the host who was now talking to the camera. He turned to us, asking about our challenges for the week and wondering how we managed to pull it off while also preparing for SNL too. I was in a daze as we answered his questions, not even really remembering what I had said by the time they went to the judges for scores.

I could feel Kat’s hold on me tighten with each score of ten that we received. Once it was down to the last judge, she and I both waited with bated breath. If she had squeezed my hand much tighter, she might have broken some bones. When the final ten was called out, we looked at each other, wide-eyed and shocked. It was a delayed reaction as she let go of my hand and nearly jumped into my embrace, wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me tightly as I spun her around. Both of us laughed loudly and enjoyed the moment together.

The side-eyed glances as we joined the rest of the cast did not go unnoticed. I couldn’t figure out why they were all looking at us like that. If looks could kill, Alec would have definitely taken us out right then. Our gazes had locked for a brief moment. There was something about his glare that sent a shiver down my spine as he calmly turned to leave the staging area. I tried to ignore the gnawing feeling in my gut as I turned back to Kat, who was smiling up at me with her face flushed from the adrenaline of the moment. I tucked her into my side as we waited for the bottom three to be announced. Unfortunately, Alec and Lana were not included in that. They had received the second highest score of the night, just behind us. I could only hope they would have a massive fuck up and be voted off soon.

Kat’s POV After the show ended, Dieter and I leisurely strolled toward our dressing rooms. Both of us were still vibrating from excitement having earned a perfect score for our performance. We were the first couple to do so this season and it was the first time I had ever accomplished it since being on the show. I knew it was because of him. Not because he was a good dancer, which he was, but also because of the trust we had in each other and our ever strengthening bond. I don’t think I could have managed it with anyone else. I now felt confident that we had a real chance of making it to the finale and maybe even winning. No matter the outcome, I would have Dieter. Even if he was the only thing I got out of this, I knew that had the potential to be enough.

We were making plans for dinner to celebrate our success as we reached Dieter’s dressing room. He told me to think about what I wanted to eat as I continued past his door down the hallway toward mine. I noticed that he kept a watchful eye on me until I got to mine, which I appreciated.

I felt my phone vibrate in my hand just as I stepped inside my space. I glanced down to see a text notification from my sister as I closed the door behind me, realizing too late that Alec had been waiting in the nook behind it for me to enter. His hands were on me in an instant, roughly twisting my arm behind my back and pinning my face against the wall.

I watched as he locked the door with his free hand, then felt him lean in, brushing his lips against my ear as he spoke in a deep, threatening voice, “You didn’t really think you could make me out to be the bad guy and get away with it, did you?”

He twisted my arm harder, “That little stunt you pulled with the paparazzi was not the way to go, baby. You should’ve kept your fucking mouth shut.”

I felt pain shoot through my arm and panic taking over my body. There was something off about him this time. He seemed out of control and vengeful.

He turned me to face him before shoving me back against the wall. I managed to keep my head from smacking against it, but it did knock the air out of me a little. He moved closer, caging me in with his arms, “And now you come back from spending a week with that asshole and try to embarrass me with that fucking performance? Pawing and rubbing all over him…acting like a little bitch in heat. I knew you were lying about him.”

I let out a shaky breath, “N-No…I didn’t lie. Nothing happened between us.”

Both of his hands shifted from the wall to my throat, gripping firmly, “I don’t believe you.”

I tried pushing him away, but he didn’t budge. Suddenly feeling defiant, I asked, “Are you forgetting the part where I caught you fucking your dance partner? I don’t give a damn what you believe anymore. You're a manipulative asshole.”

His eyes darkened as a sinister smile spread across his face. His grip on my neck tightened, “Your behavior still has consequences ya know. If you wanna publicly shame me, I’ll turn this around on you so fucking fast. I’ll ruin you both.”

His grip continued to tighten, causing me to claw at his hands. It was getting harder to breathe.

“Alec, I…can’t….”

His smile slowly faded, his eyes turning emotionless. This was different. For the first time, I was truly concerned for my safety. My eyes filled with tears as I gasped for air, desperately trying to loosen his hands or push him away, to no avail. The more I fought him the harder he squeezed. It didn’t take long for my vision to begin clouding with darkness around the edges and it was clear he had no intention of stopping.

Next: Week 6

A/N: I am leaving this note from an undisclosed location to avoid the angry mob and pitchforks over that cliffy. 👀😂

So...BIG chapter. I think this may be the longest one I have ever done. I refused to break week 5 up into another section, so this is what you get. I hope you survived it...hopefully the subtle Dirty Dancing references kept you entertained. 😏

How do we think things are going with our two love birds so far? This chapter brought us lots of smut, more smut, flirting, and ridiculous cuteness during their last days in NYC. They are definitely going for it. I think Kat is going to learn a thing or two from Dieter, for sure.

We all knew Dieter would be a menace (shame on him for the SNL monologue change up), but did we expect Kat to be just as bad?

We got to see Kat get a little territorial over her man. Do we think she is going to get sick of people hitting on him at some point?

How about that bit with Kat mumbling in her sleep, did anyone see that coming after last chapter?

What do we think about Kat's new nickname?

And we got the Dieter/Zee reunion! We all knew she wasn’t going to let him off easy.

We all know Stacia and Joe are going to be up in their business after NYC. There will 100% be antics on Dieter and Kat's part when it comes to that. What do we think they are going to do?

We all knew Alec was going to continue to be a problem. Did you see that ending coming? How do you think this situation is going to go?

We are finally going to be moving into week 6 in the next chapter. We will pick up right where this chapter leaves off to cover the drama and fallout that follows. Then we will move into the Argentine Tango. There will be lots of bonding between Dieter and Kat, a Dieter therapy session, all the Latin dances are going to start catching up to Kat, and some dressing room antics. 😏

The video for this chapter comes from one of my fav couples on the show (seriously, they have so much chemistry and are very Dieter/Kat coded). It's pretty steamy. Check it out.

👉Click HERE for this chapter's rumba video.

👉If you're interested in hearing the song they are dancing to in week 5 and seeing the rumba in that video, you can view that HERE.

CP Tags: @titlee78 @legendary-pink-dot @survivingandenduring @wannab-urs @harriedandharassed

@hisandsnakes @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @sin-djarin

@cakipy-blog @missladym1981 @guelyury @weho2kcmo @alokaerza

@girlofchaos @trulybetty @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @madnessofadaydreamer

@darkheartgatita @jazzloveslatte @timpletance @musings-of-a-rose @samiamproductions

@myloveistoolittle @for-a-longlongtime @copperhalfcent @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter

@burntheedges @stevie75 @bunniboo0015 @quicax3 @jackie923

@sherala007 @pastelnap @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @jessthebaker @rebel-held

@gwendibleywrites @senorabond @annalovesflorida @sandaltoesocks @katw474

@txlady37 @inkmonster21 @sunnytuliptime @jeewrites @fifitheragertot

@pasc4lfuzz @toomanystoriessolittletime @tintinn16 @lizzie-cakes @pedrostories

@dieterbravobrainrotclub

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal characters #dieter bravo #dieter bravo fic #dancing dieter #soft dieter #cat dad dieter #plant dad dieter #dieter bravo smut #dieter bravo fluff #slow burn #closed position series

138 notes · View notes

paradiseprincesss · 4 months ago

Text

forever, not maybe | jonathan crane

hello hello! sorry i haven't been posting as much i've been busyyy and a little burnt out if i'm being honestttt but enough about me. when i say "catwoman mask" in this fic - i was thinking of the lace one ariana grande wore for tbim music video lol anyway...i had "off to the races" on repeat while writing this <3

summary: you have a secret life as catwoman that you've been keeping away from your boyfriend, jonathan crane. however, it seems he has a secret life of his own, too...

warnings: smut, p in v, fingering, choking, kissing, swearing, MDNI 18+ ONLY

word count: 3.6k

masterlist

“i’m working late tonight,” jonathan said over the phone with a sigh.

“again?” you asked your boyfriend, trying to feign the sadness in your voice.

jonathan had been working late night shifts at the asylum for the last few months; so often that you swore he saw his patients more than he did you. naturally, you missed him. all you wanted was to be in his arms again, laid up in bed as he held you and told you how much he loved you.

but the extra time away from him gave you more time for your…hobbies.

of course you felt guilty lying to your boyfriend about your whereabouts or what you were doing — but you couldn’t risk him finding out about you being catwoman.

every time you told him you were going to sleep, you’d really be getting ready to commit a heist, or worse, find batman and reign chaos in the city just to spite him. you’d always tell jonathan the reason you were so tired all the time was because you were having trouble sleeping when he wasn’t there — but alas, it was because you were out on crime sprees until five in the morning.

“i’m sorry, darling. i wish i could be at home with you right now,” jonathan said softly, his voice tinged with guilt.

“i know, jon. it’s okay — i think i'm gonna go to bed now. it’s late,” you replied, trying to sound exhausted as you yawned. “see you in the morning, baby.”

“see you then, darling,” jonathan said softly, “i love you.”

“i love you too,” you sighed, hanging up the phone.

as soon as you hung up the phone, you jumped out of bed and rushed to put on your catsuit. after you threw on your fitted outfit along with the matching mask, you were sneaking out your window in mere seconds, creeping off into the dark, crime-filled city that was gotham.

tonight, you were on the prowl for a certain villain though — the scarecrow.

the two of you had had a mutual distaste for each other. he’d once told you that you were “too morally ambiguous,” as sometimes you’d be robbing banks and committing heists, whereas other times you’d aid batman in the saving of gotham city. you thought he was full of shit, and you made sure to remind him that his plan to poison the entirety of gotham city with his fear toxin would never work every chance you got.

the two of you had a strange dynamic — always messing with one another's plans and such, but last week, things seemed to have changed between you and him.

it all started when he came to pay you a visit after you’d robbed two men at gunpoint, stealing their cards and some cash out of pure boredom. you heard footsteps behind you as you were counting stacks of cash, and once you glanced back, you saw the scarecrow himself approaching you in the quiet parkade you stood in.

the two of you never stopped to talk very much, as usually each interaction lasted no more than a few minutes, but tonight, neither of you were in a rush to leave. the scarecrow looked at you through the eye holes of his burlap mask, and for a moment, you felt oddly comforted by his presence.

“catwoman,” he said, looking down at the cash in your hands, “we meet again.”

“we meet all the time,” you retaliated, hearing his distorted voice through his mask.

“we do, yes,” he replied casually, “but i’ve never gotten the chance to speak to you alone like this.”

“that’s because you’re always interrupting me when i'm busy,” you teased, looking up at him with a small smile.

you noticed he stopped talking to look closely at you, almost as if he was analyzing you. picking you apart detail by detail, his blue eyes trailing over every single inch of you. his eyes darted over the lace covering your eyes before he narrowed them, inhaling sharply.

“...has anyone told you that you have a pretty smile?” he asked quietly, and you almost had to get him to repeat himself out of disbelief.

“did i hear you correctly?” you asked, attempting to clarify what exactly he was trying to get at. “did you just compliment me?”

“it would appear that way,” he said with amusement.

you stood there staring at him for a few seconds, unsure of what to say before you scoffed, waving his compliment off.

“i have a boyfriend,” you huffed.

“a boyfriend?” he teased, his blue eyes widening under his mask. “is that so?”

you hummed in agreement, flipping through the dollar bills in your hands. “i love him. a lot.”

“i see,” he said once more, “i forgot to mention that i saw you last week, by the way.”

“did you?” you asked nonchalantly.

“sneaking out of your apartment window at midnight — i wonder if your boyfriend knows what you do when he’s not home.” he teased, causing you to stop what you were doing as your heart raced.

“you know where i live?” you tilted your head to the side to emphasize your confusion, causing him to chuckle softly.

“that i do,” he shrugged, “and dare i say, you really are quite the beauty when you don’t have this lacy little mask covering your face.”

he gestured to your mask, causing you to roll your eyes which were partially hidden by the lace. “i told you i have a boyfriend,” you said harshly.

“i can’t help but wonder what he would think if he saw you like this — stealing from the innocent people of gotham city.” you could almost hear him smirking through his mask by the way he talked. “hm?”

“well — i don’t plan on telling him,” you sneered, causing the scarecrow to chuckle.

“so feisty,” he purred. “tell me about this ‘boyfriend’ of yours.”

you crossed your arms, still holding the cash in your hand as you let out an annoyed sigh. “he’s a doctor,” you said, not-so-subtly bragging, “and…as much as i wish i could tell him about what i do, i don’t think he’d approve.”

he nodded, taking in everything you were saying.

“but you don’t need to know the intimate details of my love life — quit asking.” you said, shaking your head as you shook the thought of jonathan out of your mind for the time being.

the scarecrow looked at you with intrigue, taking a step closer to you. as you took in all the details of his suit, you couldn’t help but notice how oddly familiar it looked — you’d sworn that you had seen this exact suit before.

“you must really love him, don’t you?” he asked casually with a shrug. “well, maybe he knows more than he’s letting on.”

“i highly doubt that,” you sighed, realizing it was time to head home since jonathan would be back soon. “i have to go.”

he nodded, looking at you with those strikingly blue eyes before turning around and disappearing into the shadows. you stood there for a few moments quietly, struggling to understand why he felt so familiar yet so distant to you at the same time — it almost felt like you’d known him for ages.

once you got home, you quietly reached for your front door before realizing it was locked. you’d made your way out tonight through the window, but when you looked up at it, you realized that there was no way you would be able to climb that high and get through it from the outside.

“need some assistance?” a familiar voice called from the bottom of your porch stairs. once you quickly turned around in a panic, you saw a certain scarecrow peering up at you.

“what are you doing here?” you asked in a hushed whisper. “my boyfriend is going to see you. he’s supposed to be home from work any second!”

“relax,” he commented, making his way up the porch stairs. reaching into his suit pocket, he pulls out a shiny piece of metal — a key. “i just want to help you, is that so wrong?”

as he unlocked the front door and swung it open, you harshly grabbed his wrist, pulling him closer to you.

“and why do you have a key to my boyfriend's house?” you asked with irritation.

“because,” he said, his voice no longer distorted, “i live here.”

your grip remained on his wrist as he spoke softly to you, and your eyes met with his brilliantly blue ones — you only knew one person who had eyes that striking. you almost felt silly for not realizing sooner, but to be fair, he’d only come to realize who you really were just last week.

it all made sense now — the “late” shifts at arkham, the way he’d sometimes come home bruised and bloodied (which he said was because of his “violent” patients), and the way he’d always avoided talking about work with you every time you’d asked.

he shut the door behind the both of you as you gently let go of his wrist, looking at him in awe as he turned back around to face you. you still had your catwoman mask on, and he was still wearing his scarecrow one. you stared at him in silence, almost at a loss for words before you finally spoke up quietly, your eyes still locked with his blue ones.

“you’re…” you trailed off, reaching up to tug at his mask, wanting nothing more than to take it off. “you’re the scarecrow…”

“and you’re catwoman,” he teased as your fingers ghosted the edge of his mask.

“shut up,” you blushed, “and take this off.”

you gestured to his mask, but he shook his head as he stared at you through the eye holes. “i have an idea,” he suggested, “why don’t you make your way to the bedroom and wait for me, if you’re not too tired.“

“you cannot possibly be suggesting what i think you’re suggesting—”

“i am,” he said lowly. “...if you want to.”

without another word, you bit your lip and nodded, making your way to your shared bedroom excitedly. it was almost thrilling, the way he was commanding you and telling you to behave. it’s not that jonathan wasn’t bossy during sex (or in general if we’re really being honest here), but the added excitement of knowing your smart, calm, doctor boyfriend had a not-so-innocent side made it so much better.

you sat obediently on the edge of the bed waiting for him. he eventually joined you, still in his scarecrow mask and suit, eyeing you down.

“i’m sorry i didn’t make it clear,” he stated, “but i wanted you waiting with nothing on.”

“but you’re—“ you tried to protest, as he was still fully clothed.

“be quiet,” he growled, grabbing you by the throat, “unless you want a taste of my fear toxin, hm?”

you swallowed, nodding as the grip around your neck made you dizzy, and you did as you were told to do. he watched you closely, looking at you through those eerie eye holes of his mask as you undressed hastily.

“slower,” he said, “give me a little show, won’t you sweetheart?”

you almost choked on your words when he spoke — you were enjoying it, though. something about your usually calm, collected, gentle boyfriend acting like this was triggering something primal in you.

as you stripped down into nothing but your bra and underwear — which were matching, by the way — his pupils went wide at the sight. you sat back on the bed in your lacy undergarments, and he took a few steps closer, not yet getting on the bed with you.

“you really are perfect, you know?” he spoke softly, even though he looked rather intimidating, but it had you rubbing your thighs together.

“light of my life,” you breathed. “that’s what you are.”

“is that right, my darling?” he asked, his voice giving away that although he was acting tough and composed — he was crumbling because of you. “are you forever mine?”

“forever yours,” you replied with no hesitation.

jonathan made his way over to you, grabbing your face gently as he stood at the edge of the bed.

“i love you,” you whispered, and his grip on your face softened.

“darling,” he rasped, “lay back on the bed for me.”

you do as you’re told, laying back on the bed as he joins you, his hands immediately snaking behind your back to unclasp your lacy bra.

“angelic,” he breathed, speaking softly. “how are you real?”

his last words were so quiet, you barely heard him through the burlap mask covering his head. you were sprawled out on the bed, back resting on the pillows as his hands reached to tweak your nipples softly, causing you to moan quietly. he was hovering above you, propped up on his arms and studying your every reaction as he took in the way your body responded to his touch.

suddenly, his hand brushed up against the lace of your panties, teasingly dragging his fingers across your skin. you let out a soft whine, shifting your hips slightly out of habit. “please,” you whispered, “touch me — scarecrow.”

as the words left your mouth, he was tearing your underwear clean off of you, causing you to get incredibly turned on — as if you weren’t soaking through your panties already.

jonathan brushed his fingers against your sticky folds before slowly inserting one of his fingers into your tight hole, causing you to let out a vulgar moan as he toyed with your cunt.

he continued to stare down at you as your back was pressed into the pillows, giving him a perfect view of your face as he watched from above. you let out a mewl as he started to pump a single digit in and out of your dripping cunt, your cheeks flushed a pretty pink shade.

“m-mm, oh my god—!” you moaned, feeling him curl his finger in a way that made your back arch. he let out a low hum before inserting a second digit, causing you to gasp.

“jon,” you breathed, “f-fuck, yes—“

“i know, darling,” he cooed, watching you as he pumped two digits in and out of your tight, warm hole. “it’s a lot for your tight little cunt to take. i know, but don’t worry — i'll get you nice and stretched out before i bury my cock inside of you.”

his filthy words caused you to tighten up around his fingers, making him let out a low chuckle from behind his burlap mask. “someone likes it dirty, hm?” he teased, and you let out a breathless moan.

“c-close,” you managed to choke out.

“who owns you?” he asked, fucking you with his fingers as he rubbed that spongy spot inside of you.

“you!” you whimpered, “fuck, you do—“

your release hit you, hard and fast, as you clenched around his fingers. your vision was clouded with stars, pure ecstasy running through your veins. jonathan watched you like a predator watches its prey, his eyes running all over your body as he studied you through the eyeholes of his mask.

you lay on the bed breathless, your cheeks flushed still, as he looked down at you sprawled out against the soft pillows. you could hear him breathing heavily from behind his mask — it almost gave him a power trip to see you like this; fucked out and submissive to him as he was dressed up as scarecrow.

you let out a huff, closing your eyes for just one moment before they shot open again to the sound of his belt being unbuckled. you rubbed your thighs together and whined softly, causing jonathan to let out a low groan as his cock sprung free against his stomach, hitting the white button down shirt he wore.

he gave himself a few strokes before lining himself up with your dripping entrance.

“how badly do you want it, baby?” he teased, rubbing his cock up against your slit slowly.

“so bad,” you whined desperately, “please, jonathan—”

“try again.”

“fuck, please! please, scarecrow…” you begged, hoping you’d get what you were wanting after fixing your mistake.

it seemed to work because before you could whine anymore, you were letting out a filthy moan as he rammed himself into you, breaching your tight hole. even though you’d just taken his fingers, you hadn’t been able to fuck him for a few weeks, due to work and all — so you were taking a little longer than usual to adjust to his size.

“m-my god, s-slow down—” you breathlessly gasped, feeling his cock pounding your cunt mercilessly as he set a fast pace.

“you can take it,” he assured you, still fucking you harshly as his hands come to grip at your throat. “keep squeezing my cock. fuck — like that.”

you could feel him stretch out your drooling hole as you mewled, unable to form any proper sentences or get any real words out from the way he was fucking you. jonathan kept a firm vice around your neck, causing you to struggle for air slightly as his normally bright blue eyes turned about fifty shades darker.

you didn’t know what was turning you on more — the fact that he was still dressed as scarecrow, mask and all, or how roughly he was drilling into your sopping cunt right now.

“o-oh my god—” you whined, looking up at him breathlessly as he continued to squeeze the sides of your neck. “i-i can’t…”

jonathan was for sure having an ego trip right now — the way you were completely at his mercy as his cock pounded against your cervix, creating the perfect mix of pleasure and pain. the way you looked at him like he was your entire world — because he was — even while he was fucking you stupid. just everything about you had jonathan tripping out on ecstasy, pleasure, and dare i say love?

“what is it, my darling?” he cooed mockingly, cutting off your air supply once more with a harsh squeeze to your neck while he was balls deep in your cunt. “use your words, darling — you can do it.”

“c-can’t breathe,” you managed to rasp, your hands clawing at his, “let— go—”

satisfied with your begging, jonathan let go of your throat and placed his hands harshly onto your hips. his fingers dug into your sides as he continued to plow your pussy with no intention of stopping until you were ruined.

he could see the fear in your eyes — even if it was mixed with arousal — and it brought him closer and closer to the edge with every thrust. you, along with jonathan, were close to coming undone as well, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as pleasure consumed you.

“come,” he growled, “show me who owns this tight fucking cunt.”

you let out a choked moan as he rammed his cock into you so deeply that you stopped breathing momentarily, before letting yourself tip over the edge. your release winded you, causing you to scream his name so loud that your neighbours would definitely know who was fucking you right.

“jonathan! f-fuck!” you squeaked out, creaming on his thick cock.

“scream my fucking name,” he said lowly, “that’s right — god, you feel so good.”

he let out a low groan as he felt your walls tighten up around him, and he watched your every move as your orgasm washed over you. you looked so beautifully fucked out and mindless with every fleeting moment — it was perfection.

it didn’t take long for jonathan to come after seeing you like this for him, and he let out a low groan, giving you a few more harsh, deep thrusts before filling you up completely with his sticky cum. he looked down at you quietly as he propped himself up above you on his arms one more, taking off his burlap mask and tossing it to the side.

you gave your boyfriend a soft smile, letting out a huff of air as you rested your head on the satin pillows behind you.

“wow…” you said, trailing off into a soft chuckle.

“i love seeing you all ruined for me,” he told you, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “you’re something else, you know that?”

he helped you get cleaned up afterwards, making sure to be extremely gentle and caring towards you despite almost breaking you in two just minutes prior. after he had you tucked into bed, he placed a kiss on the top of your head as you snuggled into the covers.

“i’m going to go shower,” he said casually, “go to bed, sweetheart. you’ve had a long night.”

“mm,” you mumbled sleepily, “come to bed afterwards.”

“i will,” he assured you, placing one more kiss on your head, and another softly on your lips. “...i love you.”

“i love you too,” you said softly, yawning as you found comfort in the sheets. “goodnight, scarecrow.”

your sleepy words caused him to let out a quiet chuckle as he admired you. the light from the moon illuminated your face dimly as it casted down on you through the bedroom window.

jonathan sighed to himself happily.

you may have been catwoman to the outside world — sneaky and conniving — but to jonathan, you were just…you. those so-called claws of yours were nowhere to be seen as you slept peacefully in your shared bed, dozing off under the moonlight as you waited for him to come back to bed with you.

“goodnight, sweetheart,” he said softly.

but you were already fast asleep — dreaming of him like always.

taglist: @girlinterrupted505 @ciriceimpera @jordyn-yeager @thevelvetvampyre @galactict3a

@xanaxiii @nocturnest @psylrd @bloodandglitter207 @humbuginmybones

@oceanstem @futurefamousdeadmusician @jonathancraneslittlepet @esotericdoe

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@ll4n4 @ilovetoxicfictionalmen @the-buddy-things @ellebelleshelby @wiseyouthinfluencer

@abprill @minedofmoria @strangeobsessed @5tud10-54r4h @franzine-xii

@stsrfujid @psylrd @eyraaaaaae @nyxxie-pooh @momoewn

@fauxcongenialite @ceruleanrainblues @o0laura

308 notes · View notes

ereardon · 5 months ago

Text

Before I Knew [Jake Seresin x Reader] Chapter Twelve

A Jake Seresin unexpected pregnancy fic

Overview: On your first night after moving to San Diego to spend more time with your brother Bob, you unknowingly have a one night stand with his teammate Jake Seresin. For the first time in his whole life, Bob has a closely knit friend group and you’re desperate not to rock the boat. But an unexpected and unplanned pregnancy upends your world, forcing you and Jake closer together, against Bob’s wishes. What will happen when you find yourself actually falling for the father of your unborn child?

Pairing: Jake Seresin x Reader; Bob Floyd x Sister!Reader

Warnings: Pregnancy, cursing, eventual smut, angst

Chapter summary: Ducky and Jake tiptoe around each other; Bob attends Ducky's 20 week scan

WC: 1.3K

Masterlist here; previous chapter here

The apartment was empty when you returned. Just a note on the counter.

Staying at Bradshaw’s for the night

– J

You sighed and put your purse down. It was what you had wanted. So why didn’t it feel good to win?

***

Jake spent half of the night pacing Bradley’s house, a small bungalow near the beach. At around three in the morning, Bradley emerged in a pair of boxers and no shirt, rubbing his eyes. “Hangman?”

Jake turned, bags starting to form under his eyes.

“You OK man?” Bradley asked, standing in the doorway to the living room.

Jake shook his head. “Yeah, sorry, didn’t realize I was being loud.”

Bradley sagged against the wood frame. “It’s Y/N isn’t it?”

He nodded. “Always.”

“When are you gonna admit you’re into her?”

Jake stopped dead in his tracks. “What?”

“We all talk about it all the time,” Bradley said, crossing his arms. “You like her. She liked you enough to sleep with you. And now here you are kissing random girls in the bar and she’s running off crying.”

“She cried?”

“No, she peed on the sand, but same thing.”

Jake frowned. “What? How is that the same?”

“It just is, OK.” Bradley shook his head.

Jake squinted. “You guys don’t actually talk about us, do you?”

“Come on,” Bradley said. “I know you’re more self absorbed than that.”

“She doesn’t want me,” he said quietly. “She told me to go out and see other people.” Jake paused. “She said she would, too, if it didn’t look so weird, with the baby and all.”

Bradley rolled his eyes and turned to go. “You two are so fucking stupid, I swear.”

***

Bob picked up on the second ring. “Hello?”

“Bobby,” you said into the phone. “Will you come to my appointment with me today?”

“I, uh, what time is it at?”

“Four.”

“OK, yeah, I can do that. Pick you up at 3:30 from work?”

“Yes, please.”

There was a moment of silence where you both knew what the other was thinking. He wanted to know why you had asked him. You didn’t want him to tell Jake.

“See you soon, Duck,” he said, hanging up the phone and you let out a sigh of relief.

That afternoon, you sat in a paper gown on the medical table as Bob sat in the chair near the door, bouncing his leg in his green flight suit. “You smell like gasoline,” you complained. “It’s making me want to throw up.”

“I didn’t have time to change,” he replied, leg still bouncing.

“Stop jiggling, you’re making me nauseous.”

“Will you stop complaining when the baby comes?”

“No, it’ll just be a new set of complaints.”

“Lucky me.”

There was a knock and then the door opened. “Y/N? How are you?”

“Doing OK,” you replied, shifting your weight from one hip. “This is my brother, Bob.”

“Ma’am,” he said, standing up and holding out a hand. She took it and smiled.

“Dr. Whitman. Nice to meet you.” She walked over to the sink and washed her hands before pulling on a pair of gloves. “So, twenty weeks. Halfway there.”

“Thank God,” you muttered.

The doctor laughed. “Any trouble sleeping or heartburn or indigestion.”

“Whatever you name, I’ve got it.”

She smiled. “Well, I can give you a prescription for some heartburn medication. If you want to just pull your shirt up, we can take a look to see how baby is doing.”

You inched the edge of your paper dress up, the roundness of your stomach shocking every time you caught a glimpse. The jelly was cold, as always, and you found yourself holding your breath as she moved the wand around until you heard it.

The steady beat of your baby’s heart.

“Strong heartbeat,” the doctor said. “Baby is about seven inches.” She turned to you. “Do you want to know the gender?”

You looked over at Bob, who had climbed out of his seat and was standing next to the table, one of his hands on your shoulder. “Bobby?”

“I’m here.”

You sucked in a deep breath. “Yes, I’d like to know.”

“It’s a girl.”

You closed your eyes. It was overwhelming. You couldn’t put into words how you felt.

And then you felt a tear fall on your shoulder. But it wasn’t yours. When you opened your eyes, Bob was crying.

He pressed his lips to your temple, arms wrapped around your shoulders. “A girl,” he whispered, tears and laughter caught in his throat all at once.

You placed your hands on either side of your belly button and closed your eyes.

***

When you got home, you taped the sonogram to the fridge. Jake had returned from Bradley’s, but the two of you had been frosty. A simple hello or excuse me as you passed each other in the living room. It was like living with a complete stranger.

You didn’t want to freeze him out. But whenever you went to talk to him, the image of him with the girl in the bar came to mind and you felt bile rising in your throat. There was a part of you, somewhere buried, that wanted Jake Seresin for yourself.

For your daughter.

At twenty weeks, you already had trouble sleeping. After an hour of tossing and turning, you got up and eased open the door, rubbing your eyes as you headed for the kitchen in a skimpy nightgown.

As you rounded the corner into the kitchen, Jake stood facing the fridge, completely still. He barely moved when you entered, stopping short the minute you saw him.

“Oh.” It fell out of your mouth before you could even stop it.

Jake turned, slowly. There were bags beneath his eyes. His normally golden skin looked sallow. His hair, always so perfectly tousled, had lost some of its luster. “When was the appointment?” he asked.

“Yesterday.”

“You didn’t want me there.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. There was pain laced in every word.

“I didn’t think you’d want to be there.”

Jake’s face hardened. You watched in real time. The way his green eyes went dark and the hands at his sides flexed into fists. “Don’t you understand, Y/N, that it my child you’re carrying. Mine. Of course I wanted to be there. But you wouldn’t let me. Because you’re punishing me.”

“I’m not punishing you.”

“Yes you are!” It came out as a roar. You stepped back, one hand over your stomach. Jake’s eyes dropped to your hand. “I’m sorry.” It was a plea. Soft and gravely and depressed. “I fucked up, OK. This is so fucked up.”

“My next appointment is in a month,” you replied softly. “Do you want to come with?”

Jake lifted his eyes to yours. “Yes.”

“OK,” you replied. “Can I?” You motioned to the fridge and Jake nodded, stepping aside as you grabbed a glass and filled it with water from the door filter.

“Goodnight,” Jake said, backing out of the kitchen as you closed the fridge door, the slice of light growing thinner and thinner until it disappeared and the two of you were bathed in darkness, just the diagonal strip of moonlight shining from the window above the sink.

“Jake?”

“Yeah?”

You smiled. “It’s a girl.”

Please follow my library page @ereardonlibrary as that will largely serve as my tag list. Anyone I previous promised to tag is here:

@blue-aconite @withahappyrefrain @wkndwlff @mamachasesmayhem @djs8891 @clancycucumber230 @gigisimsonmars @xomrsalliej4787xo @myfaveficrecs @mycobrakai1972 @sio-ina-bottle @joaquinwhorres @justanothermagicalsara @je-suis-prest-rachel @shanimallina87

@rosiahills22 @buckysteveloki-me @kmc1989 @eloquentdreamer @mjisbby @seresinslady @seresinhangmanjake @blackwidownat2814 @bbyvanessaa @mrsjobarnes @midnightmagpiemama @ingoaliesitrust @rockbottomphilosophies-blog @iangiemae @boiolay @sometimesanalice @na-ta-sh-aa @bobfloydsbabe @kmc1989 @rosiahills22 @palepeanutponyshoe @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @mel119g @daggerspare-standingby @grxcisxhy-wp @mrsjobarnes @csmt-m @rockbottompunk-blog @joaquinwhorres @xoxabs88xox @spinning-away

235 notes · View notes

samkerrworshipper · 1 year ago

Text

let me love you | Leah Williamson x Reader

a lot of angst, ending in fluff, themes of eating disorders, depression and alcohol abuse, 5900 words

please keep sending request yall i need something to feed my brainnn

i’m stuck on a blurb for this so basically just what happens after a rough moment in r and leah’s relationship, can they fix it? can they learn to love each other again? the photo i’ve used says it all lol

it’s piecy and i think u can see my sleep deprivation in this one but hope you enjoy!

I’d known going into camp that I was in trouble. That as soon as the team doctor did our pre camp exam that I was going to be fucked. With the extensive weight loss I knew that it was only a matter of time before I was approached but I hadn’t expected it to be the first night.

I’d been lying in my bed, in my room by myself. I was rooming with Keira this camp, but luckily enough she spent most of her time in Lucy or Leah’s room so I didn’t see much of her. I’d had the tv playing in the background, to fill the room with something other than the sound of my breathing and the sound of me scrolling through my phone. Then my little bubble, my perfect barrier that I’d created was broken by the resounding noise of someone knocking at my door.

“Y/n, it’s me.”

Sarina. Fuck.

“It’s open.”

It was probably the polite thing to get up and open the door but I was comfortable in my bed and while Sarina was terrifying I couldn’t see her getting mad at me over something so minor. The door cracked open and I switched the tv off out of respect for the manager who had closed my hotel room door behind her. Her face was unsteady, like she was unsure how to approach the conversation, something that I’d never seen on her.

“You missed dinner.”

“I feel asleep, the jetlag has tossed me around a little bit. I didn’t even realise until I woke up twenty minutes ago.”

It wasn’t a lie, I had travelled an obscene amount in the past twenty four hours. I’d flown from Cabo to New York, then spent 20 hours in New York with Kristie and some of the Gotham girls before getting on a plane to take me to Barcelona, where I’d spent a very short eight hours with Keira and Lucy before we got on a plane to London to bring us to camp. It had been hectic to say the least and had resulted in one of my suitcases being lost and me being in a very lengthy back and forth discussion with British Airways about how my luggage had ended up in Austria and that no, I didn’t have the time to go to Austria to retrieve it.

“I think we need to have a talk.”

Sarina’s foot was tapping nervously at her side, it was her tell, she was about to have a hard conversation that was not going to be easy to go over.

“Okay.”

She nodded at me.

“Meeting room 2, five minutes?”

I gulped, fuck, a meeting room. It had gone from informal to a little bit to formal for my liking. I nodded regardless, too scared to reply in any other way.

“Yes Ma’am.”

As soon as Sarina had left my room I was throwing myself out of the bed to throw on some proper clothes and make myself look a little bit more presentable. I threw on my light blue tech fleece and puffer jacket that we all had and then very haphazardly threw my hair into a greasy high pony. I pushed some mascara through my eyelashes and some moisturiser on my skin before coming to the conclusion that no amount of makeup was going to be able to disguise the purple bags under my eyes. Once I was done making myself look a little bit less dead I picked up my phone and keycard from my bedside table and left the room, making my way down the hallway towards the meeting rooms.

The meeting rooms had a multitude of purposes, zoom calls, skypes, video review, contract signing. Business stuff mainly, not a talk with your coach. That was what had me trembling a little bit as I made my way closer to the meeting rooms. When I got to the door of the second one, the one I’d been told to go to I waited outside of it for a few seconds before lifting my fist and knocking twice on the door. I didn’t have to wait long for a reply, Sarina was at the door opening it for me in a matter of seconds. I stepped into the room quickly, my eyes recognising all the faces in the room.

I was directed to a seat at the table, sitting directly across from Sarina, Leah, Millie and our team doctor. Lucy and Keira were seated on either side of me and the whole vibe of the room was enough to tell me that I was royally fucked.

“We are all here to have an open conversation about your recent medical exam.”

I kept my eyes on my own hands, which were resting on the table, playing with the rings that adorned my hands. I couldn’t look up, couldn’t bear to look into the eyes of a woman who a few weeks ago I had loved so intensely and now couldn’t even think about without crying.

“You're here to tell me that I’ve dropped a dangerous amount of weight considering my normal weight class, that I should get some further tests done even though we know that there is nothing medically wrong with me. We’ll beat around the bush a little bit, try to ignore the fact that we all know that you can’t allow me to play when I’ve dropped this much weight and then you’ll send me home.”

Sarina’s jaw was set firmly, I could make out that much as my eyes darted up to the older woman quickly to catch a look at her facial expression.

“Do you want to die Ms y/l/n.”

I was taken aback massively by the question, because who asks a person that question, especially in this context.

“I don’t feel comfortable having this conversation with certain people in the room. I don’t want to die necessarily but living right now isn’t exactly ideal either. I’ve had a rough couple of weeks, I’ll admit that, I’m aware. I’ve neglected my body, prioritised other things. I knew walking in here that I’d dropped 2 stone and I wasn’t proud of it. I just went through an intense break up though, I’ve been in Cabo for three weeks, most of which I don’t remember. I know that it’s bad, I know that as an athlete we have expectations but I need some wiggle room, I need you to give me a shot to make this better. Because I honestly believe that in this environment I can fix it, I’ll get the weight back, I’ll get back into therapy or whatever. I’ll give up the bad habits, I just need a period of grace.”

I couldn’t look at Leah, couldn’t let myself out of fear that my brave face would fall and I’d be left in shambles sitting here. I just needed to convince Sarina that I could get my shit together.

She was in front of my brooding for a few minutes, leaving everyone in the room in an awkward silence.

“Everyone out besides Leah and you.”

Fuck.

I watched as everyone else slowly got up, Lucy giving me a reassuring pat on the back before exiting the room.

“I’m giving you both five minutes to explain what the fuck happened between you two, because as much as you both want to make it sound like nothing it isn’t. Everyone can feel it and obviously it's affecting the both of you.”

I still couldn’t look at her, it just hurt.

“Seems like I’m the only one who’s suffering.”

“That’s not true nor fair y/n. Leah’s having her own struggles.”

I snorted and rolled my eyes at the table.

“She’s the one who caused the problems in the first place so I’d call that karma.”

The tension in the room was thick, like a cloud laid over us.

“That’s not fair, you had a part in it as well.”

“I had a part in you kissing Jordan at a party?”

“Jordan kissed me first off, drunkenly, she apologised profusely to both of us when she was sober. You soberly made the decision to kiss fucking Alexia.”

If the tension could have thickened anymore, it did.

“You cheated on me with your ex, I think I can cheat on you with my ex situation.”

“Do you realised how fucked up that whole ideology is? I didn’t want to cheat on you, anyone who was there that night will tell you that I physically pushed Jordan off of me, I didn’t want it to happen. I know it hurts you, but you wouldn’t even hear me out, you didn’t answer my calls or texts. I didn’t know where you went, just heard from Lucy that you’d decided to go abroad for a few weeks and you were turning your phone off. I spent 3 days sitting in Keira’s apartment balling my eyes out because I missed you so much, I haven’t slept properly ever since, I can’t fucking live without you y/n/n.”

Leah was sobbing and it hurt a part of me that I didn’t know existed. I wanted to hug her, wipe the tears from her face and apologise for my stupidity, to make it all better. But I was stubborn as shit and I also hadn’t really forgiven Leah. I hadn’t forgiven myself either.

That night had been the worst one of my life. Seeing Leah making out with Jordan had broken my heart and before I knew it I’d been running out of the bar we’d been celebrating in and calling Ale because she was my person and then she was picking me up and taking me back to my apartment and she was comforting me on our sofa and then we were kissing and Leah was walking in, mascara smeared and tears down her face and then Ale was running out of the apartment. I ended up waiting for Leah to fall asleep before I’d fled. I’d been terrified, my fear response was flight, when I was scared I fled, so that was what I’d done on that godforsaken night.

“I don’t really give a shit who did what. You both fucked up, that’s evident. We have the olympic coming up, Leah you are coming off of an ACL injury and you are going to be our captain, y/n, we need you on top of your game for us to win. I won’t deal with this team being torn into shreds because the both of you are too stubborn to talk about your feelings. Am I understood?”

Both Leah and I nodded meekly at Sarina, the both of us equally terrified of the dutchwoman and the tone of voice she was using towards us, like we were six year olds.

“Y/n, I’ll give you a grace period, two weeks. You’ve got two weeks to show that you can make some improvement in your habits, but there will be conditions if you wish to continue training and playing during those two weeks. You will eat every single meal, with the rest of the team. You aren’t going to work out beyond our team scheduled gym sessions. You will go back to talking to a therapist on a weekly basis. You are going to socialise with your teammates instead of holding yourself up in your room by yourself. You and Leah will room together until you can prove to me that you can be civil. If any of these conditions are broken you will find yourself sidelined, am I understood?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Sarina nodded at me, her blue eyes staring intensely into my own, I was trying to get away from this situation, away from the confrontation that was only bound to get worse the longer Leah and I were stuck in a room together.

“You are free to go, I expect to see you at breakfast tomorrow morning.”

I’d given Sarina a quick nod before bolting out of my seat and straight out of the room. I was pretty sure I’d had the worst 96 hours of my life. My whole body felt like it was on fire, my hair and face were still greasy from all of the airplane travel and my eyes just hurt. I half jogged my way back to my room, slamming and locking the door behind me almost as soon as I’d closed the door behind me. I slowly slid down against the solid wood, this whole situation was so fucked.

Not only did I have to focus on being fucking civil with a woman who I hated, I had to fucking turn my whole life around in a matter of two weeks, which right now seemed pretty fucking impossible. I wasn’t a person who cried very often, I wasn’t in touch with my emotions like that. But right now, fat, warm, wet tears were dripping down my face and my lip was wobbling between my two front teeth trying to suppress the sobs that were coming up from my throat. Love hurt. Loving someone and being loved is one of the hardest things that I’d ever done, because it’s not easy to spend every day loving a person, it fulfilling but it also is so fucking painful.

I could hardly make up the energy to get off the floor, so I didn’t. I sat against the door, crying, shaking and trembling as I let out the feelings that I’d built up for the last month. I was a person who didn’t cry very often, when I was drunk, when someone died, when I was really hurt. That was the extent of my emotional release. Leah was similar, that’s why we’d hit it off, neither of us were over emotional, we didn’t read into things and we didn’t over complicate anything. At the end of the day neither of us had to worry about the other one getting offended by a joke or drunken words. I’d honestly believed we were soulmates, for a long time, but that night had wrecked it all.

Both of us had been stupid, it had been the celebratory night of our win in the Nations League, we’d beaten Spain, it was a big deal. Everyone was completely wasted and I didn’t remember much of the night until Leah had been on the dance floor with Jordan, Chloe, Millie, Rachel and some other teammates and one moment Leah is motioning for me to join me and the next Jordan is making out with her and I’m running out with Lucy following me. Then Lucy called Ale because I’d locked myself in our hotel room ensuite. Then Ale was there and she was comforting me and hugging me and I was pissed off at Leah and then I was kissing Ale and she was telling me no and the Leah walked in to comfort me and it was just a fucking mess of alcohol and emotions.

Just thinking about that night had hurt, I hadn’t let myself in the last month. Not when I’d been in Cabo drinking all day and night, clubbing and partying and spending all of my spare time trying to push my emotions away. Then I’d gotten the call from Sarina, I’d been expecting it but it had still shocked me for some reason. In a matter of 24 hours I’d been packing up all my shit and hopping on a plane back to the one place that I couldn’t have been more desperate to avoid. I’d contemplated turning down the call up, but a call from my agent had told me that I couldn’t expect an invite back if I turned one down now. The Olympics was a big deal as well, it was something that I did want to do but the overwhelming anxiety I had felt being faced with the reality that I was walking into a group of people that worshipped the ground that my ex girlfriend walked on.

My thought pattern was interrupted by the sound of knocking directly above my head. The sound pulsated against the wood and across my body, seeping deep into my bones. It was a resounding knock, loud, echoing across the room.

“Y/n, open up.”

It was the voice that I least wanted to hear at that moment and I tried my hardest to ignore it but the sound of the knocking repeating made it harder.

“Y/n/n, c’mon, open the door, I know you're in there.”

It was the nickname that only she called me, a nickname I hadn’t heard in a month and it hurt my soul hearing it. It made fresher tears fall from my eyes that I rubbed at furiously with the sleeve of my jumper. I wiped as much of the smudged mascara and tears from my face, I knew subconsciously that my eyes were red and puffy and Leah would one hundred percent be able to tell. For my dignity though I rubbed it all from my face before standing up and opened the door.

Before I could say anything Leah had slipped past me and into the room, making herself at home and sitting down on Keira’s bed, resting herself at the very top so she was leaning against the headboard. I pushed down any thoughts that I had about Leah being in the same position in our own bed, except with a lot less clothes covering her body.

“You’ve been crying.”

It wasn’t a question, a statement, but it held a question in it somewhere. Leah wasn’t used to me crying, so the fact that I was crying was probably a little bit of a shock to her.

“What do you want?”

Leah pouted at me, sarcastically, it pissed me off how confident she was when I felt like I was tearing at the seams.

“In case you didn’t remember, we’re roomies now. I wanted to talk, I think we both have stuff we need to get off of our chests. I love you y/n/n and I’m worried about you.”

“Go worry about Jordan.”

I was leaning against the dresser, trying my hardest to keep my shit together in front of the woman that was making me feel so many things that I had been denying myself for a month.

“That’s fair, but also not necessary. I didn’t kiss her y/n, I didn’t even get as close as a metre’s distance from her, anyone there could tell you that. I pushed her off me. So yes, she kissed me, without my consent or my desire for her to do so. I love you, not her. I promise you that. She means nothing to me beyond being my friend, I don’t love her.”

I didn’t really know what to say. Leah wasn’t really the root of my anger, because I knew that it had been Jordan all over Leah, and at the end of the day she’d come to my room that night to apologise instead of going back to Jordan’s, I was her priority.

“She loves you, and I can’t do anything about that. That hurts and I know that it shouldn’t, I have no right to be jealous but it hurts.”

Leah looked contemplatively at me, like she was trying to understand what I was saying but knew that she couldn’t really.

“Do you love Alexia?”

I gulped, that was a fucked up question that I didn’t have a answer for. My immediate silence gave enough context to that.

“That’s not a fair question.”

I was deflecting and also furiously toying with a loose thread on the edge of my jumper.

“I think I deserve to know if the woman I love loves me the same way.”

It was hard hearing those words come out of her mouth as well.

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t love her. I dated her for six years, I thought I was going to marry her. I don’t love her like I loved you. We broke up because we couldn’t love each other that way. It was a surface relationship, but we both knew at the end of the day that we couldn’t get married or have kids or get old together, we didn’t love each other like that. We didn’t have a messy break up, I didn’t have a phase where I hated her and I wanted nothing more than to be away from her. We just stopped physically loving each other. She’s still my person Leah, you know that. I regret kissing her, I was so drunk and I was so fucking upset and she was so familiar to me in that moment. So maybe I do love her, in some fucked up way, but I don’t love her long term. She’s not the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life loving, not the person that I want to wake up next to, not the person that I want to write vows for, not the person that I want to be with every minute of every day. I don’t yearn for her.”

I realised now that there were tears in Leah’s eyes, which shocked me a little. Leah never cried, I could count the amount of times I’d seen her properly sob on one hand. Four times. When we won the Euros, when she did her ACL, when she woke up from ACL surgery and that night when it had all happened. Apart from that she was a brick wall, she wore a facade everyday, that very little people got to see broken down. I considered myself very grateful to have been able to see past it, to see the side of Leah that not a lot did. She’d let a stray tear go every once in a while, but proper crying, proper emotional, vulnerable crying was very rare to see.

“Do you love me long term?”

“Leah, that's not a fair question either.”

Tears were running down Leah’s face, similar to the tears that had been falling down my face less than five minutes ago.

“It's not fair? I’ve been here for the last month y/n, wondering if we still stand a chance. Wondering if you still love me, wondering if I should wait around for you? I want to know if you still love me as much as I love you.”

I could feel more tears coming to my eyes, Leah was sitting not even three metres away from me and yet it felt like we were oceans apart.

“I don’t know. Does it really matter?”

Leah was wiping at her face, she detested vulnerability and it was clear in her actions.

“Does it matter? Y/n/n, I am trying to figure out if I am going to spend the rest of my life fucking mourning losing the love of my life. I want to know if I stand a chance, if there is something here that we can salvage, something here that we can try and fix. I will spend everyday making it up to you if I have to, anything you need us to do I am down to do it.”

I shifted from toe to toe in my spot standing, Leah’s words were so genuine, they had so much power over me, sent shivers down my whole body.

“I love you. I love you enough though to tell you that I’m a fucking wreck, some of it’s because of this, some of it is just me. Leah I’m trying to fucking sort myself out now and I love you but I’m not going to tell you that your my priority right now, I love you but I also am trying to learn how to love myself and I’m also trying to learn how to love my sport again.”

Leah pursed her lips, wiping the last of her emotional admission tears from her face. She looked so raw, her blonde hair was thrown up in a messy high bun, an unusual look for her, her face was stripped bare of any makeup and her jumper looked a tad bit too big on her. She looked stripped, stripped of her dignity, stripped of her facade, stripped of everything that made her Leah motherfucking Williamson. I wasn’t looking at England’s captain, I wasn’t looking at Arsenal and England’s world class defenders. I was looking at just Leah. The Leah who would wake me up with forehead kisses every morning, the Leah who would give me foot massages after a rough training, the Leah who would only look at me in a room full of people.

“I’ve worried about you so much that I started to get scared I was praying. You took off and I didn’t know with who or where. I mean I know that I fucked up but y/n/n, we could have talked it out, or we could have tried to. You fled and you didn’t even give me a goodbye. I didn’t know if we were done or if I was ever going to see you again and it fucking broke me. I stayed in bed for a week, I didn’t eat, I didn’t leave. Keira and Lucy literally had to drag me out of bed to get me to do anything. I cried, non stop for a week, it was horrible and I felt like shit. Then Lucy got Alexia to come over and we talked it out and she told me that she didn’t mean for it to happen and all she wanted was for us to be happy and it broke me because how am I supposed to be happy when the woman I love is nowhere to be seen.”

A sob echoed from her chest and it broke my heart, because I hated seeing Leah in pain, I hated seeing her hurt. When she’d done her ACL it had been the most gut wrenching thing I’d had to witness. The only difference was that now I was the source of pain and it hurt ten times more.

I pushed myself off of the dresser and towards the bed. Leah’s head was buried in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees as her palms rubbed furiously at her eyes. I sat down onto the bed and pushed myself up against the headboard beside her, putting one of my arms down on her shoulders and gently nudging her head into my neck. It was uncharted territory but also felt so familiar and right. Hearing Leah’s sobs hurt my soul, but my contact seemed to calm her a little bit. She flinched away initially, unsure but then she was seeking it out, leaving into me and everything about it felt right.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry for what happened with Jordan, I’m sorry if I didn’t make you feel loved, I’m sorry if I didn’t treat you well enough, I’m sorry if I’m not good enough. I’m trying to work on it, I’m trying to be better,” I stopped Leah before she could say much more.

“It’s not your fault Leah,” My voice came out with exasperation, because I hated that Leah felt that way,

“You made me feel loved everyday, you treated me perfectly. You are perfect Leah, you were a perfect girlfriend, a perfect captain, a perfect person. We had our moments but you are a good person, you don’t need to be better. I’m the one who can’t fucking handle herself, who had to flee the country when it got rough and I’m sorry for that, I’m sorry that I ran when it got hard.”

Hearing Leah hiccup on her breath was so painful for me, painful enough that I reached my hand down to her face to try and wipe some of the tears off of her cheeks.

“C’mon, you're too pretty to be crying.”

It was a weak compliment that died with the mood of the room, Leah let out a depressing laugh that honestly just made it all worse but her sobs did quieten down a little bit and I noticed that the tremors that were haunting her whole body had slowed down and had become less of a repetitive pattern.

“You haven’t been eating, you lost two stones, did I do that to you?”

Leah’s voice was so shaky, so insanely innate for her.

“Me not eating has nothing to do with you and I won’t have you taking the blame for it. Not everything is your fault Leah and you don’t have to take the blame for it all. I know how your brain works, that you are going to take the blame for everything that has happened between us, but it’s not your fault, a lot of it is mine, my eating habits though have nothing to do with you.”

My voice was a mixture of steady and stern, I had a point to get across and I needed Leah to understand that, I needed her to know that. She wasn’t as fearless and brave as she constantly tried to prove to anyone, she was always the first to blame herself for anything, always getting down on herself and I knew that, I knew that Leah could send herself into a downward spiral.

She pulled her head out of my shoulder and locked eyes with me, her dark brown eyes felt like they were violating me, I felt like I was naked under her gaze, like I was so incredibly vulnerable.

“Why haven’t you been eating?”

I felt like I was under a magnifying glass, like Leah could see every single part of me and could see into my brain. She always worried about me, always. To the point where sometimes it was concerning, I had as much as a sniffle and she was doting over me like my mother.

“I’m fine Lee.”

“If you were fine you wouldn’t have lost two stones.”

She could read me too easily and she knew that I was pretty much putty in her hands as soon as she started talking.

“It got dark for me when I left, I needed to leave but then I was gone and I realised that I was so alone and I was partying to try and avoid my feelings and it worked but you know how I am when I’m depressed, I stop eating, I stop functioning. I lived off of alcohol for three weeks and then I got the call from Sarina and for the first time in three weeks I was completely sober and it hit me like a freight train. I realised how bad it had gotten and I was in shambles.”

Leah nodded at me, she knew how I worked, knew that when I was starting to spiral I tended to push it all down until it got so bad that I had a nervous breakdown.

“You need to eat, we need you playing, I need you on the field. It broke my heart when Sarina came and told me, when she asked me if I’d seen any of the warning signs or if I’d noticed and I couldn’t give her an answer.”

I brought my hand back up to rest on Leah’s face, she was still shaking, still hiccuping with every word that she said. I pushed the tears that were pooling on her face away with the pad of my thumb.

“I couldn’t even tell her anything.”

Leah’s words were thrown out between choken sobs and hiccups, it was so strung out and painful that I felt it in my chest.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that, I’m sorry I deserted you. I’m so sorry I hurt you Lee, you deserve better, you deserve someone who has their shit together.”

Leah pulled herself out from beside me and scooted herself so she was sitting in front of me, between my legs looking at me directly.

“I want you though, I want to love you and I want you to let me.”

I couldn’t do much more than look at her, look at her eyes, look at how heartbroken they were. They were full of so much pain, so many sleepless nights and a part of me wanted to fix some of that.

“Let us be happy, let all of this devastation come to an end and just let us be happy. We’ll work through what happened, we can try therapy, or something else. I want you though y/n/n, I want you forever and I don’t want us to give up on that because of some stupid shit that happened when we were drunk.”

Those fucking eyes, they held the sun and the moon, they had the power to make me do anything.

“I want to try, for us. I still think that you are my forever Leah. I just don’t want either of us to get hurt in the process.”

“Love hurts, we work through it. Please just try it for me.”

Her lip was wobbling in between her teeth and it took every single piece of self control I had to not take that lip in my own and just kiss the woman like I wanted to.

“Okay.”

Leah’s face lit up almost immediately, like a kid in a candy store. She leant in towards me, her lips hovering centimetres away from my own and her eyes looking into my own and it took literally every piece of my self control not to initiate anything.

“Is this okay?”

Leah’s voice was calmer this time, less rough on the edges, less broken. I nodded eagerly at her and relaxed into her body as she pressed her lips to mine. It was soft, tender, relaxing, so perfect.

“How about this?”

It was murmured against my lips, a small smirk forming along Leah’s lips.

“So good, but I think we are both overdue for some sleep.”

Leah frowned against my lips but nodded, we were both tired and it was obvious in our actions. She plopped herself down next to me, relaxing into my body and laying her head against my chest.

“Flick the lamp of love.”

The term of endearment sent a shiver down my back, it was so normal and yet so shocking to me. I obeyed her immediately, turning over to the bedside lamp and flicking it off so we were left in the dark. I shrugged my jacket off before relaxing down into the pillow. Leah shifted around for a few seconds, finding a comfortable spot on my body before stilling herself. She looked so small curled up against me, I tugged her hair out of its bun and rubbed her roots just the way I knew she liked me too and rubbed her back the way I knew sent her straight to sleep. It probably took not even a minute before Leah’s body relaxed fully and her breaths evened out and when they did I smiled a little bit looking at her exhausted form. I leant down and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before relaxing myself fully against the pillows and preparing myself for my own sleep.

“I love you Leah, always.”

#woso #leah williamson #lionesses #marry me rn #arsenal wfc #woso community #leah williamson x reader #sarina wiegman #lucy bronze #kiera walsh #angst #rip my mental health

913 notes · View notes