#this is the second ramble i post today but it would be the fifth if i had shared everything

[lost-in-fandoms]

okay but maxiel AU in which Max gets dragged by Charles to a cooking class, because Pierre is sick and the classes are paid for two people and You have to learn how to take care of yourself Max! which Max refuses to acknowledge because he's taken care of himself so far, hasn't he?

The class is held by George, who is not very accepting of Max's nonchalance for how uneven his zucchini pieces are.

(The couple next over is Oscar and Logan, and the one over is Alex and Lando and after Lando almost burns Alex's whole palm, Oscar decides to take pity and they swap.)

Max and Charles argue the whole time because of course they do, but at some point Charles realises he's been talking to himself and is like what the fuck you're not even paying attention to me anymore???? But Max isn't, because George's friend Daniel, who always comes in at the end of class steal something to eat, is there and he's hot and has the most gorgeous smile and Max is not even stirring inside the pot anymore.

Daniel is joking around with George and with some of the regulars when he notices Max staring and winks and Max drops his spoon, splashing the soup all over the counter, himself, and Charles, who starts screeching at him.

Luckily, nobody got hurt (other than Max's pride and Charles' shirtsleeves) and Max got Daniel attention so like, win win.

Daniel follows George over when he goes to inspect what Max and Charles have done, and Max completely ignores both George and Charles to chat with him instead.

At the end of the class, Max asks if he wants to go for a drink and Daniel accepts and then they swap numbers and they go on three different food-related dates before Daniel takes him home.

[choosingwhatmatters]

Music in The Loyal Pin, Episode 2

Welcome back to my music rambles. Y’all, thank you so much for your kind words! I am enjoying this show so much and sharing thoughts with you makes the whole experience infinitely better.

So, I unknowingly lied to you in my last post, and I am sorry. I claimed that there was little repetition in the music in episode 1. The truth is that I just didn’t notice. I have since done my homework and I am blown away by how much depth the music has. There are so many different motives and themes, and I am beyond excited where the music leads us in future episodes. Today, I would like to talk about two pieces. I call the first one “Pin and Anil’s past” and the second one “Pin’s heavy heart”.

Pin and Anil’s past

I talked about this piece in my last post and speculated that could be connected to childhood and adolescence. It sounds a little bit likes this:

After revisiting the episodes, I realised that we have two different motifs here. My theory is that the first represents Pin and the second one Anil. We can hear the first in the beginning of the recording. It is comprised of long notes that descend and then climb up again. It’s gentle and a little melancholic. When it repeats, it is joined by the second motive. This one features shorter note values and is more playful. As different as they are, they’re beautiful together and oh, if that isn’t telling us something.

The first motif is usually connected to Pin. It appears in a lot of scenes, among them the following: Small Pin exits the car in the very beginning of episode 1. Patt embraces her after promising to take care of her. Small Pin meets Small Anil for the first time and, later in the episode, Medium Anil discovers her pinwheel in Medium Pin’s room. During the voice-over after the opening credits, Medium Pin introduces the royal family. After the night market, Medium Pin gets scolded by Patt and Anil defends her. In episode 2, Medium/Adult Pin remembers how Medium Anil showed her the designs for her small palace.

The second motif, that in my theory belongs to Anil’s past, is not featured as heavily as Pin’s. We can hear it in episode 1, together with Pin’s motive when Small Pin and Anil meet for the first time and, again, when Medium Anil discovers her pinwheel. In episode 2, the melody changes slightly, but it's still very similar to its origin. We can hear it when Medium Anil cries on her letter to Pin and, most notably, at the very end of the episode. Prik has just uttered Anil’s name, Pin looks up, and there Anil is: smiling and beautiful. The costumary cheeky glockenspiel playing her melody is now accompanied by a whole orchestra. This is a new Anil: grown up, beaming, majestic.

Pin’s heavy heart

The second piece I want to talk about today sounds somewhat like this.

It’s not 100% of what is played in the show, but the melodies as well as the harmonies should be similar enough the recognise, should we hear them again.

This piece is very melancholic, and I want to talk about two musical concepts to explain why: major and minor harmonies, as well as suspended notes. Major and minor harmonies first. So, a chord in its basic form is comprised of three notes: first note, third note and fifth note. The third is a very powerful one because it determines the mood of the chord. If we have a minor third (three half tones away from the first), the chord tends to sound wistful and melancholic. If we have a major third (four half tones away from the first), the chord tends to sound more cheerful. In the beginning of the piece, we can hear the melody swing between to different notes a lot, g sharp and b. These are a minor third away from each other and thus, evoke the sombreness of a minor chord.

The second thing I’d like to talk about is suspension. Suspension means that there is one note that our ears want the melody to go to. But before going there, the melody lands on a note that is achingly close to the one we want to hear. It’s so close that it feels like a little stab to the heart that is then soothed by the arrival of the actual note that we want. In our piece, suspension happens when the melody starts from its lowest note and climbs up again. If you want to listen out for it: there are two notes that are repeated before being suspended by a higher note.

I call this piece “Pin’s heavy heart” because we can often hear it in scenes when Pin is sad, most notably the following: After being bitten by the snake, Medium Anil tries to stop Pin’s punishment. While eating cotton candy, the Medium girls talk about what life would be like if Anil had to go away. After the night market, Medium Pin realises that Anil is serious about being punished together. In episode 2, Medium Pin gets told by Patt that Anil is to leave within the next two weeks. In Medium Anil’s memory, Medium Pin is carving a mango after a bad exam. At the waterside, the Medium girls are about to float their Krathong.

There are three more instances where we can hear variations of the piece: Medium Anil is preparing for her trip and the girls don’t meet at all. After floating the Krathong, Medium Pin is crying. And, lastly, Medium Pin puts Anil’s picture next to her on the bed.

I adore this piece of music. The melody is quiet yet haunting which I think suits Pin’s character well. And it’s not that I enjoy seeing Pin sad but oh, I’m looking forward to seeing her happy again.

That’s it for my music rambles today. Thank you for riding along! I still find it hard to put into words how much it means to me to have this show in my life, as well as humans that are as invested in it as I am. What a life!

[fosermi]

since animation is literally your major, is there any details from the Sonic X Shadow generations clip we saw today that you might want to talk about?

OK SO major spoilers under the cut for the preview of the Sonic x Shadow gen prolouge

i was WAY too busy fangirling to give a proper analysis BUT when it does come out fully i might just do one, also please take note im still in my second year of studying to be an animator so these are purely my opinion. for now i can point out a few things that i genuinely want to talk about.

first thing that stood out to me was that 2D-3D style of animation, definitely something i dont think we've seen be done for the franchise before (correct me if im wrong) and it reminds me so much of RWBY in a way. There were some bits that, to me, looked choppy BUT THEN AGAIN those were the parts that needed to be choppy for emphasis reasons, specifically it was at the start where Shadow is having some sort of break down. its obvious from how choppy his movements are in comparison to the smoothness of the rest of the preview that shadow was genuinely shaking. with that 2D-3D style that choppyness looks janky as fuck but its so perfect for conveying how uptight and bottled up shadow's emotions are. its so hard to try and capture what im saying but trust me its there!!

second thing i wanna point out are the camera angles. they shift so much to serve the dramatization of the scenes and its so ✨JUICY✨like i shit you not, i cant stop staring at the different camera angles and going "oooohhh ahhhhh" and trying to rationalize the reasoning for those angles because HOLY SHIT they're so good and they actually do serve a really good cinematic purpose!! its easy for people to get lost in the changing of perspectives and camera angles but this? oh this does it so good that it actually drives the plot FORWARD instead of it seeming like separate scenes mashed together.

third thing I'll point out is the scene color shifts. when doing something cinematic, ambiance is key. so when the scene shifted from this soft and comforting blue hues

to this eerie red so suddenly with our only warning being a slight shaking of the screen??

that made it such a surprise that it gets the viewer on alert!! a good thing!!!

now i can go on and on about the different colors for each scene but let me just touch up on this one scene in specific:

it quickly goes from hopeful gold/good light to ominous black/no light, very contrasting, which can mean oh so many things... most notably; maria's hope vs shadow's resolve.

fourth thing ill touch up on are the frames where shadow runs. specifically the one where he runs out of frame from maria.

we get almost 1 frame of a model and then...

these frames here? chefs kiss, perfect. showing us just how fast shadow really is, so fast that we the light from his airshoes doesnt catch up until a fraction of a second later!!! even the glow in the doorway changes to reflect that short millisecond split.

fifth thing ill point out and its a small little thing thats making me absolutely rabid:

he fucking glows.

and yeah, sure, you can argue that its bounce light, its most probably is bounce light since its under harsh light conditions BUT if that was the case the glow wouldnt be this vibrant of a shade and it would give an aura and not specifically on his markings. just a little thing i noticed that i will get to screaming about when i post this.

last thing i wanna touch up on is the sound effects. they were just so very crunchy and pared up with the animation style?? oh it was delicious!! i have some issues with the lip sync but then again they were trying to go for an anime/western cartoon hybrid style here so its bound to be off on the lip sync.

anyway, thanks for listening to my silly ramblings, its nothing too impressive just a fangirl fangirling. now if you'll excuse me, ill go scream to the eclipse nation about glowing hedgehog.

[devilseven6667]

Updates to Social Media! (Also, hello again, Tumblr!)

Hello! It's been a second, so let's catch up! First of all, my sincerest apologies that the first thing you've heard from me outside of reblogs on BlueSky or the cryptic allusions in my descriptions for art uploads is some weird test post- there's a reason for it, of course, but allow me to say first of all that it's been a very, very weird summer with a lot of conflicting emotions and events. Not the least of these would be a lot of financial strain for upcoming expenses and bills, putting together my portfolio website for upcoming art interviews, and having to part ways with a community that was central to a lot of my personal and creative interests… within the span of a week. Oh, and my birthday. I Aged.

Regardless, with my finishing this recent commission, I'm going to take the time today to address a few things about my growth. The first is that I'm making a fifth and final home for my art and ramblings on Tumblr (as well as a soft-reset on Mastodon- more information on that later). After much deliberation (as well as some research on posting guidelines), I'll be rejoining the site officially. I originally debated whether to make it or Instagram my final, art-centric site, but considering how rampant the latter's issues with AI moderation are, I think my choice is pretty clear-cut.

The second is in regards to those weird "Test" posts you probably saw a day ago: I've started using a multiposting tool! Obviously I'm still working through how to use it, and there WILL be some hiccups until I can get the thing to work exactly how I want it to, but the results from the Test post, combined with my actual upload yesterday, were extremely promising.

Lastly, I'll be trying to plant my roots into more groups and organizations that I like on each respective platform- if you've got any good ones, send 'em my way! As for now, expect these changes to take place over the course of the day.

Thanks so much for your time, and I hope to get back to you soon with more stuff! Expect another post with my updated socials list when everything is set up, as well as an updated commissions sheet post!

[rhela-xiv]

Taking a break from my regularly scheduled posting to do this. Advanced warning: rambling incoming. There's been a lot of conversation, and discourse, about whether or not the content in Dawntrail is "too difficult" for casual players. And after the experience I had today, I can't help but wonder if some of that feeling isn't the result of the attitudes of many long-time XIV players. Sure, there's a certain amount of "get good" that goes along with having a character at level 100, but some things just come down to whether or not you've seen a fight before. And are we really giving people the kindness and patience to learn and improve? I spent more than an hour in a level 100 dungeon today. We wiped more than 10 times across all three bosses. This isn't about my frustration with "oh I'll run a quick roulette before lunch" turning into a 75 minute excursion. This is about how the other people in my party reacted, and why I think the XIV community can do better. More under the cut.

I queue into Alexandria as a tank. I see a DPS and a Healer "Viewing Cutscene". "first time, forgive me" pops up, from the healer. "nw~ need me to pull a lil slower?" I don't mind doing that, especially in higher level dungeons where you can easily wipe to trash if someone misses a critical heal, or doesn't see the AoE indicator under the wall-to-wall pack of enemies. We get to the first boss. Which is not an easy boss the first time, or even the fifth time. There's a lot going off on top of each other, the safe spots are small and not always easy to see in the window of time you have to find them, and it's not very forgiving if you miss a mechanic. The healer dies, and despite the best efforts of our summoner to get everyone up again, we wipe. And wipe again. I double check to make sure everyone understands the mechanics, and it's just a timing thing. All good, we keep going. (I'll acknowledge my own failings here, I ate a lot of vuln stacks. Someone stuck a Dorito on me and it was just too much pressure.) And keep wiping. But we're getting further in the fight each time, and cleaner. At some point, the following comes in from the healer: "I'm sorry, I just might not be good enough" And it absolutely gutted me. Because I've been there. As a healer, as a DPS, and even as a tank. When it feels like you're trying your hardest, and you swear you can feel the other pixels on your screen getting more pissed at you by the second. The first time I ran Aurum Vale, I got so frustrated I cried and nearly quit the game. I had a similar experience with Heroes Gauntlet. The people in my parties were flat out -mean- about every missed mechanic, and every death. I still, to this day, with several Extreme clears and at least one Savage clear under my belt, get anxious when Aurum Vale pops up in Leveling. It would have been really easy to let the healer drop out, or kick them, or vote abandon. But what would that really have accomplished other than making someone feel like they're not good enough to enjoy the game that we're all here because we love?

All of this to say: For you, it might be a daily roulette between meetings or on your lunch break or after a long day at work. For someone in your party, that might be their MSQ experience. They might be learning. They might be coming back from a two year break between expansions. It costs absolutely nothing but time and a little bit of patience to be kind. And if we don't give people time and opportunity to learn, the whole community suffers for it. Dying is not the end of the world. Messing up a mechanic is not the end of the world. I've seen a lot of comments about "getting comfortable with messing up" floating around, but that only works if the other people in the party are also comfortable with messing up. With wiping and restarting three, four, TEN TIMES, and continuing on.

It was a level 100 dungeon this time, but I've been in ARR trials where someone queues in to a party that's half sprouts going through the fight for the first time, and gets pissed when there's a wipe. I had someone abandon me with two brand new players fighting Titan for the first time because we wiped twice. And we have to stop doing that to people. I can say for damned sure that the healer I played with today has a much clearer understanding of the mechanics in Alexandria bosses now. Because the party was patient, and gracious about mistakes, and wasn't afraid to own their own mistakes. And the next time they queue in for expert, they'll do better. And if everyone extends the same courtesy I experienced today, the whole community gets better together. Last thing. Rorrie the Summoner from Diabolos, if by some chance this finds you: you have the patience of a saint and you were absolutely the MVP of that run. I hope the people you play with regularly appreciate the hell out of you, because I sure did.

[northropi]

Rambly Lore Post? Rambly Lore Post.

Ok class today we'll be talking about technological progression and shit woooooooo most of this will be written from the perspective of military aerospace because that's both a good frame of reference for how my brain works (i don't know tank generations very well, for example) and it also is a relatively time-independent frame of reference because there might be some historical events getting switched around, big technological hurdles reached earlier and stuff.

Alright, so let's start with the end of WWII with the last piston and first generation of jet fighters. These were actually fairly close in performance- jets of course were faster, but not by that much just yet. Even if the trend was obvious, engine lifetimes and fuel thirstiness kept jets down for a little while. The second generation of jets fighters would start changing this as we got supersonic entries, and by the third we start seeing relatively long-endurance aircraft with advanced avionics, and the finalization of a shift to missiles. Fourth-gen fighters mark yet further improvements to avionics, sensors, and performance- in some cases also favoring a lower wing loading over third-gen predecessors that often had some pretty dubious low-speed handling. Finally, we reach the currently latest generation fielded, 5. This is a bit of a nebulous generation as a lot of the aerodynamic stuff is essentially just 4 again- if anything, some pure aerodynamics have slipped back, and they've become reliant on sheer thrust to maintain their otherwise superlative kinematic performance. The defining points, however, seem to be Low Observability and advanced computerization that renders their sensors not just more powerful, but also easier to manage- crucial, as the two-seat cockpits older aircraft with similar systems required to distribute the workload are a compromising factor for stealth, and would eat internal space that the internal weapons bays put at a great premium.

Now, the Regular Military has since progressed down this route. Sixth-generation fighter aircraft seem to already have a definition in real life, that being that they're likely to be optimized for drone control. While capable aircraft in their own right, they're projected to be extremely large and expensive compared to their fifth-generation ilk (who already bear a cost spike (if an exaggerated one in some cases)), bomber-like, two-seaters, and likely a true downgrade in pure kinematics. These have been in service for a while in the setting, supplementing 4th and 5th generation aircraft- with 7th generation fighters being prototyped with a number of pre-production "YF-" designated airframes around. G7 aims to streamline the G6 design. It's knocked back down to one pilot in a small, extremely stealthy aircraft, bearing very little of its own equipment and highly kinematic by virtue of just how light it is. Onboard radars are basic, and room for weaponry is lacking- but with computer assistance, these aircraft can command a formation of drones to perform all those jobs. Moving the main radar off of the manned aircraft component of the fleet, for example, is immensely beneficial now that LPI frequency-shifting techniques are starting to get cracked a little bit by this point in time, and beaming an enemy is now somewhat more likely to reveal your position. Of course, it also has the sort of psychological effect that the least threatening part of the fleet being the manned plane means that the manned plane hundreds of miles away is less likely to be shot than the expendable drones actively bombing your position, which itself is likely to vastly increase survivability even in the event of total mission failures.

This is on top of things in between. There've been a lot of intermediate Generation "4.5" or "4+(+?)" aircraft implementing advanced avionics and semi-stealth into G4 planes. On the more fictional side, Freelancers and less-funded militaries have sought upgrades for older aircraft. Sometimes these are relatively reasonable life-extensions and glass cockpits being just barely crammed into G3s. Sometimes they're attempts to turn G2 fighters into light missile trucks with newer engines. Sometimes someone uploads scans of old piston and G1 airframe structures to the internet and Freelancers can have them printed in space-age alloys on the cheap, and manage to cram FLIR, a modern engine, and a rotary cannon into the poor thing. The more scuffed variations of this have been dubbed "KitCarriage" because the main thing they're good for is carrying a kit of modern avionics, countermeasures, and weapon modules- and many are, of course, unmanned. The opposite end of the spectrum is some hair-splitting in G5 aircraft. There's now a recognized "5.5" group of later aircraft that managed to run stealth cheaper than initial 5th gens, with much lower unit price and cost per flight hour. By contrast, many of those early 5th gens were adapted later on into lower-stealth modifications called "5-" (like, Five Minus), which still would bear decent stealth capabilities but save a lot of money.

Of course, the more organized Mercenary cabals had undergone their divergences from this line. Two, to be in fact. The bigger Merc groups were, during the Cold War, split a little bit. MercNet would form from the main group, but many feared that having that much close-knit power could essentially lead to them essentially just becoming a second regular military. These ones split off, but would eventually reconsolidate into a second group. Today known as GhostShip because, uh, well, something happened but they're... Ffff...ine? Now? They're sort of all nebulous personas loosely managing expendable clone armies. Not a terrible gig but boy they should NOT have pissed off that wizard or whatever the fuck that was.

But they naturally had an ideological split happen relatively early, and thus their point of divergence lies between 3rd and 4th gen fighters. GhostShip would have trouble making workload reduction effective, so multi-crewed vehicles were somewhat mandatory if you wanted the radar and stuff to be good. This in turn reflects sort of how their entire thing works out.

GhostShip has options for single-crew vehicles that sorta suck y'know? These "Bantams" are stuck in that lightweight end of 3rd gen, in the aircraft examples- armored vehicles are often light casemate TDs in their analogous class. Emphasis on that they kinda see themselves as expendable, anyone else would make these drones. Then we get to two-seater "Aquilas" that have a gunner/driver or pilot/WSO division and can afford such lavish amenities as radar, or a turret, and it goes up and up from there. Their technology base differs from either MercNet or RegMil. Their material engineering is superlative, but they're held back by low computerization and a (well, at least more blatant) desire to cut costs. A certain crowd of nerds may be glad to know that they're back to the point of viewing guns as the main armament of combat aircraft, in an age where everyone else sees them as weapons of opportunity at best. Ordnance tends to lack measures to increase capacity seen so often in other groups that have minimized munition sizes or just crammed more onto a given pylon via MERs- less so for GhostShip, who tend to plan out their objectives tightly and equip small shot counts of big brute-force weapons specialized for each step. Stealth is a thing, but they sort of converged on it rather than just getting with the program, and trying to work it into the other quirks of their designs can result in some distinctive looks to say the least.

As for MercNet, if that implies they just stuck with RegMil technologically, uh, no. As G6 was underway, MercNet split off and started investing into original models. Directed-Energy weapons were on the horizon and MercNet felt a need to address them directly, managing to create advanced, lightweight ablative armor- this differs from RegMil using drones as a catch-all solution to that, but ADB imagined attrition rates versus a laser-armed peer would be too high even if they were all UAVs (though MUM-T became a shared tactic between them). This led to the "Knighted" aircraft- well, that and the knock-on effects. Ablative armor happens to be marginal kinetic armor, which reduces the effects of blast-frag warheads, which means proximity fusing is off the menu, which means kinetic and shaped-charge penetrator missiles, which mean localized damage, which mean multiple shots to sufficiently damage a plane and also that they could perforate tank armor with some luck and persistence, which meant huge capacities of an omni-purpose short-range missile type were implemented universally to deal with their own ablative armor. Eventually neural interfaces were sought to reduce workload without requiring more manpower, which also lead to insane G-tolerance, single crews, chronic cognitive damage and psychosis, etc.

now i could go on but it'd require talking about space and i'm tired.

[amphxtrite]

cedric diggory x fem!reader

part two: Dreamiest Boy in School.

warnings: smut, shower sex, swearing, oral (female receiving), masturbation.

If you are not comfortable please do not read.

summary: Cedric’s been in love with you for years. What will he do when he catches the reader moaning his name after a quidditch game in the prefect’s bathroom. Fluff at the end.

a/n: characters are 18+ and it is fully consensual.

word count: 4.2k

enjoy<3

__________________________________________

Cedric first met you in his fifth year when he’d first been appointed captain of the hufflepuff team, it was your first time trying out despite also being in your fifth, but it was no secret that it wasn’t your first time on the pitch. You were a natural, blocking quaffles with ease, letting none enter the goal. Your movements were smooth, elegant, but forceful, effectively getting the job done, but truly showing off the art of flying. Cedric had to forcibly pinch himself after you touched down. 

Today was a rough game against gryffindor, It went on much longer than it needed to with Ms. Pink Toad calling random people from the pitch and ‘hem hemming’ every time someone managed to score a goal. When Cedric had eventually caught the snitch, he had to deal with a ten minute long speech from Umbridge speaking of his bravery and strength, he cut it short after she began to run her hands over his face.

Now came Cedric’s favourite part of the game, his friends had already congratulated him on the win, but he was close by you and your friends as you touched down from the goal post. You were distributing high-fives to everyone, even throwing Cedric a quick thumbs up before running to your gym bag and taking a long sip from your water bottle. Here it comes, your pupils glance from side to side, scanning the area before grabbing the hem of your jersey to dab at the sweat running down your face. No one on the team cared you did this, but you still felt weird randomly pulling your jersey up to clean off your face. You did this after every practice and game, and although he didn’t mean to intrude Cedric found himself gazing at you often.

Cedric takes his bottom lip into his teeth as he looks to the grass beneath him, his thoughts running wild. He pictures what it would be like if he was the one pulling at your shirt, slowly pushing it up your gorgeous body as you beg him to take it off, rolling your hips desperately against his. The seeker’s pants were starting to get a little more constricting at the thought.

Ever since his first time seeing you at the pitch, he’d find himself thinking of you this way a lot. His name spilling from your lips, mouth agape, legs quivering. It kept him awake often, thinking about you. Imagining the feeling of your lips pressed to his as he rocked his hips in and out of you. He didn’t appreciate the sinful thoughts encasing his mind every time he saw you, it drove him insane. Any time you licked your lips, shook out your hair, smirked or even simply laughed, he’d have to excuse himself to rid of the heat from his face.

It was even worse the two of you had become close friends in the last two years, you were the person to help and train him for the triwizard tournament, working out with him often and supporting him through his challenges, also being his unofficial ‘date’ to the ball. You pushed him well, preparing him for the physical challenges that lay ahead in the contest, but only having his crush grow as you worked by his side and hugged him good luck. After he won, you were one of the first people he went to after his father. You had jumped into his arms and held him tight as he recounted the story of how Voldemort had stunned him and Harry had saved his life. Upon finishing  the story, you had kissed him on the cheek and whispered.

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I don’t know what I’d do if you were gone.”

He knew then that he was never going to let you go.

Cedric did his best to put your friendship first, reminding himself of your platonic status and your great history. He couldn’t jeopardize it all, even if he fancied you. Running himself a cold shower after stripping down his robes in the prefect’s bathroom, he tries to place his thoughts in a different headspace. He ignores his surroundings as he tries to rid himself of the dirty images, letting the cold water stream onto his face. It was practically useless, his mind drifted back to your lips pulled between your teeth or how your lips felt against his cheek after each hit of cold water. With one small thought, his arousal and need grows.

Sighing quietly and shutting the tap off, the hufflepuff head boy wraps a towel around his waist as he picks up his bag to begin getting changed. Halfway to zip open his bag, he can hear a shaky voice calling, not to far away.

“Oh f-fuck Ced.” 

Body immediately going rigid, the wide-eyed boy regains his train of thought and remembering where he is, glancing around the showers. The voice was so familiar, close.

So... dream-like. Sifting through his memories to match the voice, he thinks of people close to him that were also prefects or head girls, the only person to came to mind was you, but that was impossible. What were you doing saying his name so beautifully.

“Faster, please.” The voice rang out again in a softer mewl. The brunette’s cheeks light on fire as the voice finally registers in his ears, no doubt it was your soft cry. Despite his better judgment, Cedric needed to check this out. To make sure he wasn’t just imagining your voice begging for him.

As he approaches the shower he hears the voice from, he can hear a heavy pant and a shower getting louder. Standing before the closed curtain. His hand hovering over top the thin material, he mentally debates this, perhaps he was wrong. He might’ve misheard, and the he’d be barging in on a random girl. Pulling his hand away he turn to leave, but another moan perks his attention.

“F-fuck Cedric, I-I’m gonna c-cum.” A quivering whimper, cries his name again.

He’d heard you say his name about a million times, cheering him on, talking to him, laughing out his name. That was you inside, about to cum to his image.

Not able to take it anymore and he rips open the shower curtain, his cock springing up under the towel and pure desire taking over his senses. There you were, damp hair streaming down your shoulders, leaning against a wall with one hand on your breast and the other deep between your legs, pushing in and out at a rapid pace, practically sobbing for release.

“Are you masturbating?”

You barely register the soft question, but as your eyes open they instantly flash with horror and you immediately pull your hands away from your body, meeting gazes with a wide-eyed Cedric. A flood of embarrassment consumes you, he must have heard you. Merlin, you felt disgusting.

“Oh my gosh Cedric I’m so sorry!” You apologize frantically, rushing to grab your towel and cover yourself as tears of self-consciousness begin to well in your eyes. “I didn’t- I’m so sorry.” You try and push him out of your way, but Cedric will not let you pass, his grey eyes still staring holes into you. Agonizing seconds pass as he simply looks you down, your head swiveling around to look anywhere but his stoic gaze. 

Finally smirks in amusement, Cedric reaches over and takes your chin in between his fingers, forcing your head up to meet his eyes, you ready yourself for a lecture, or maybe screams, but it doesn’t come.

“I like the way you said my name.” Cedric teases, pushing you back into the running shower.

“Hands between your thighs and on your breast, were you thinking about this?” Cedric purrs, pushing you against the smooth wall and pressing his chest against yours, slowly rocking his hard on against your sensitive clit with the rough towel around his waist. 

“Imagining me taking you in the shower, fucking you against the wall and whispering dirty thoughts into your ear?” He continues in a low voice, continuing the gentle rock of his hips.

Your mouth drops open at Cedric’s reaction and the waves of pleasure clouding your senses. “Answer me.” Cedric growls, pushing harder against you and encasing you in his arms, his elbows by your head and his forearms against the wall. “Y-yes, I-I was.” your soft voice breathes out. “Yes, who?” Cedric grins, his eyes growing dark with lust as he watches you writhe beneath him. “Yes Cedric.” You moan as the toned hufflepuff continues to roll his hips slowly, an approving smirk spreading on his lips. 

 “You don’t know how long I’ve wished to do this love.” Cedric begins to nip at your neck, sucking and kissing around until he finds the spot that makes your breath hitch. You bite your lip to suppress the upcoming moan.

“Stop.” Cedric’s needy voice growls at you. “The only one who’ll be biting those lips is me.” He states, desire lacing every word.

Roughly pushing his lips against yours in a heated kiss, his warm tongue swirls around your mouth, drinking in your intoxicating taste and gliding his rough fingertips up and down your body, memorizing every curve before coming to rest on your hips. Your teeth clash, pleasure and heat travel to your core, fueling your arousal as a hard member prods at you from under Cedric’s dangerously low towel. 

“Besides, I want the whole castle to know you’re mine.” The grey-eyed hufflepuff bucks his hips into yours again making you squirm. “C-Cedric!” You cry out, wrapping your arms around his muscular shoulders and digging your nails into your champion’s back, the steam in the shower clouds your perception even more, all you could sense was Cedric’s body against yours, every muscle every scar. Cedric’s teasing lips pull up again as you begin to ramble.

“I-I need you.” you beg nervously, grinding your hips against the soaked material of Cedric’s towel.

“Would you like my fingers or my tongue love.” Cedric’s cool digits brush the inside of your thighs, you nearly jump at the feeling. “Both.” You manage to whimper out as Cedric’s hard stare bores into you.

“Dirty girl.” He smirks teasingly, his voice smooth as satin and dark as sin. “Beg for it.”

You could feel your arousal growing at Cedric’s words. You’d never seen him as the type to wish his partner to beg, but Merlin you weren’t complaining.

“Please Cedric, I need you. You make me feel so fucking good, please don’t stop, let the whole castle know who I belong to.” 

Your champion’s eyes go from a piercing grey to almost black as lust and arousal course through his veins. He slowly lowers himself to the ground, pressing kisses all the way down to where you needed him most. Cedric takes his time spreading your legs apart and kissing up your inner thighs and blowing on your clit, sending shockwaves up your trembling form. He looks back up at you as he leans forwards and licks a stripe through your folds and begins to swirl his tongue around your clit. Your thoughts run cold, all that consumes your mind was the ecstasy running through your veins, Cedric flicking his tongue around your sex, fucking you with his tongue and lapping hungrily at your sweet juices.

“Oh fuck Cedric, please don’t stop.” Your mewling voice begs needlingly, breathing heavily to keep yourself from falling over. 

Cedric smiles into you and slowly teases his fingers around your entrance, tracing along the edge of your slit before sinking two long digits into your wetness. spots flash in front of your eyes as your head falls back against the wall. Cedric pulls and pushes his fingers in and out of you at a quick pace, twisting them around and bending slightly as your walls grow tighter around him. He uses his body to keep your legs from doubling over in pleasure and continues to ravage you with both his tongue and fingers. flicking and sucking at your bundle of nerves while thrusting his fingers in and out of your core. A familiar knot begins to form and you dig your hand into Cedric’s damp hair, pulling him closer to you and desperately rocking your hips against his face, desperate for any more friction he could give you. Cedric chuckles at your moaning form. Sending even more delicious vibrations to your sensitive clit, as moans mix with longing cries of your lover’s name. Cedric pulls his mouth away, bringing himself to a standing position, still burying his fingers in you, replacing his tongue with his calloused thumb to massage your throbbing bundle of nerves.

“You don’t know what you do to me darling. How does it make you feel that you give me a hard-on every time you lift that shirt up to wipe your face? Every time you bite that gorgeous lip, or flip your hair you’d have me wanting to bend you over and fuck you senseless.”

You try and respond, but the pleasure Cedric was giving to you was all your mind could take. The sound of his fingers pounding into your wet core and Cedric’s deep pants were driving you insane. You can only moan in response and crash your lips against his again. You can taste yourself as Cedric dips his tongue against yours, nibbling on your lip and picking up his pace with his fingers. A familiar knot forms in your abdomen and you have to pull away from Cedric’s lips to moan and arch your back even more, you can feel your walls clenching tighter against the rough fingers pounding in and out of you.

All at once the knot snaps and waves upon waves of euphoria washes over you and consuming your vision in white. Crying out Cedric’s name over and over again, the brunette helps you ride out your high, continuing to pulse his fingers in your clenching hole and kneeling down again to lap up your juices as you moan out and rock your hips gently, Cedric’s cock begins to twitch like mad watching he waves of cum spill from your core, but he takes his time, savoring every drop of your sex.

Cedric is practically beaming with pride as he stands again, holding the back of your head in his large hand. 

“So sweet love.” He smirks, wiping a drop of your cum off of his bottom lip with his thumb and licking it off slowly, keeping direct eye contact with you. Your face was red, your legs quivering, and deep breaths sounding from your lips.

“I’m not done with you yet darling.” Cedric drops the towel from his waist and boxes you in his arms again.

“You won’t be able to walk when I’m through with you.” The toned seeker teases in a dark voice.

Feeling his length against your stomach you bite back a moan, fuck he was big. You were unsure what to do, but taking his twitching cock into your hand, you pump his length experimentally, receiving a soft moan in return. Picking up the pace, you spread the precum on his tip as a lubricant. Working your hand against him, he reconnects your lips, a soft whimper flowing from Cedric’s lips. You keep using your hand to pleasure your champion, but Cedric can’t take it anymore.

“I need to be inside of you darling.” Cedric rasps, reluctantly pulling your hand from his throbbing tip and wrapping his arms around you.

“jump.”

Without hesitation you leap up and wrap your legs around Cedric’s hips and he presses you against the wall for support.

“Ready Love?” Cedric smirks, his hands squeezing your ass and cock teasing your soft folds.

“Shut up and take me Diggory.”

Cedric wastes no time sinking into you, slowly at first, letting you adjust to his thick shaft, small grunts sounding from your lips as Cedric sink deeper.

“You’re taking me so well darling, f-fuck.” Cedric groans, sticking his head in the crook of your neck, nibbling on your sensitive skin and squeezing your hips.

Tears prick in your eyes as Cedric bottoms out in you, burying your hand in his wet brown curls you whimper at the feeling of being so full.

After a couple moments the pain turns to pleasure and you shimmy around motioning to Cedric it’s okay to move. The brunette begins to thrust in and out of you, slow at first, but soon finding a rhythm, pulling in and out of you in a quick pace, thrusting out to almost his tip before burying himself to the hilt inside you once again.

“Faster Cedric.” your pleading voice gasps and pleads.

Cedric obliges, snapping his hips back and forth to the point you see spots in your vision and you’re dragging your nails down your champions back. Cedric frantically presses his lips against yours again as he groans loudly. You swallow the moan in the kiss and cup your hands around Cedric’s defined jawline, pulling him closer and clenching your core in surprise as he pushes his thumb to your clit.

Your reaction pulls another breathy moan from Cedric, but his thrusts don’t stop. He continues to pound into you, his desire out weighing any tiredness that should’ve been.

Your loud moans only egg him on further. Your sinful, desperate pleas for more drive him insane. Arching your back and rolling your hips, Cedric pounds even further into you.

“Fuck Cedric, right there.” Your loud beg cries out and Cedric smirks, slamming his hips into your spot over and over again. Screams of pleasure and sighs of satisfaction fill the air. Wet sounds of skin on skin ring throughout the large bathroom as Cedric sinks deep into you with each needy thrust.

Parting your lips, another choked moan is pulled from your lips and your vision goes blank once again as your coil snaps and your grip tightens on Cedric. Your champion doesn’t stop, his thrusts are still merciless and needy, but as your slit clenches his cock in a tight hold, his thrust becomes lazier and he can feel his release coming soon.

“You make me feel so good Ced, I’ve had my hand in between my legs thinking about this for so long, o-oh fuck.” You moan in a teasing voice against the brunettes ear. You can feel Cedric’s upper body go rigid as he uses the last of his strength to snap his hips into yours like his life depended on it. Your dirty talk making him imagine your naked body lying on your bed, moaning out his name, probably only a hallway away from him. Years of lust and love fuel his next thrusts. Every time he’d painfully gotten hard because of you, every time he imagined you underneath him and making you scream his name in ecstasy was all coming true and groaning your name into the crook of your neck he snaps his hips in a desperate thrust one more time before releasing all over your tight walls, his body pulsing in euphoria sending shockwaves of pleasure through his entire being.

Your eyes roll back and your legs jolt at his powerful stream, thanking Merlin you had taken the potion to help with cramps not too long ago. You begin to roll your hips lazily to help Cedric ride out his orgasm, your core practically numb with pleasure and your entire body exhausted. Cedric is panting heavily, his hand buried in your hair and his other still supports your body. He gives your bum a small squeeze, your body still against the wall and his still pressed to yours in support, letting the warm water from the tap relax your tired muscles and wash the proof of your pleasures off of your legs, while still intimately connected.

Cedric smiles as he looks deep into your eyes, still panting heavily, but now with nervousness and a slight anxiety. He couldn’t keep his true feelings from you any longer.

“You know I love you right?” The hufflepuff head boy confesses, running a hand down the side of your face.

“I’d hope so, considering you just fucked me senseless.” You giggle and wrap your arms around Cedric’s toned shoulders. 

Your giggle dies down to a grin and a pink blush makes it’s way onto your face as you look down to see the two of you still connected

“I love you too.” You smile earnestly, a smile playing on your lips and you press a kiss to Cedric’s pink cheek. “I’ve loved you since those days in fifth year when I trained with you, you don’t know how relieved I was you survived, and with Umbridge around I thought I might never get the chance to confess.” Your emotions come through and Cedric has to blink the pure happiness from his eyes to respond.

“I’ve loved you since the moment you came rushing into my arms after the maze, I had a crush on you before, but i’ll never forget when you said those words, I knew I’d never let you go.” Cedric’s smile falters a bit as your stare drops to his lips.

“C-can I kiss you?” His face grows closer to yours.

“Didn’t ask for permission while you were cumming in me.” You tease, peppering kisses all around Cedric’s handsome features as his face grows hot in embarrassment.

“I-Is that a yes?” He murmurs hopefully, your soft lips trailing down his jawline.

You smile and press a kiss to the corner of Cedric’s mouth.

“As long as I can be your girl.” You giggle.

Cedric immediately pushes his lips to yours in a more delicate, but wanting kiss. Taking his time now to show you his adoration and care for you. The sounds of your lips molding together sounding through the large shower. Cedric runs his tongue through your mouth again, slowly this time, sighing at the taste of your after-game drink and the light taste of strawberry chap stick that remained on the inside your lips, begging to be found and appreciated.

As Cedric continues to ravage your mouth you run your hands up and down his chest and abs, taking deep breaths of his autumn like scent. Campfire, vanilla and honey were the most prominent, while his aftershave also offered a sharp, wood like smell.

“I love you y/n, so much. It would be an honor to have you as my girl.” Cedric sighs against your lips, placing one final peck before pulling away and grinning like a little kid. A smile begins to form on your face.

“Hey, did you think you could, you know.” You awkwardly motion down towards where you were still intertwined. “My legs are kid of sore.” Cedric’s eyes widen in realization and he nods frantically, apologies spilling from his lips as he slowly pulls out of you with a small ‘pop.’ Cedric lowers your feet to the ground and begins to back up, but the sudden weight removed from your body made your legs forget how to move and you crash into Cedric’s chest again.

Your legs felt numb and you couldn’t get them to move properly without falling. Cedric does his best to hide his pride as your lips pull into a frown, but a small smirk emerges as he bites his lip to stop it. He glances down and also notices the small purple love bites littering your neck and he almost beams.

“I hope you’re happy with yourself Ced, I can’t walk.” You roll your eyes at his useless attempt to stop his smile.

“I am, and I must say you look absolutely ravishing sporting my love bites darling.” He grins darkly, but a light chuckle breaks free.

“Alright let’s get you dressed, come on.” Cedric turns the tap off before leaning over again and catching your legs in his arms, carrying you bridal style out of shower, grabbing your towel and gym bag on the way out.

Placing you down on a bench, he grabs his own fluffy, white towel from his bag. Using it to pat your hair and body dry, making sure to get every inch of your body, and being careful around your intimate parts as you winced often. Grabbing another school-provided towel, he pats his upper-body dry before tying the cloth around his waist. Shaking out his damp hair, he grabs your bag and places it next to you.

“Do you think you can do it yourself darling?” His voice is filled with concern, but you nod and zip open your bag. Cedric turns to his own clothes and after tugging on a pair of boxers and sweatpants, wipes his hair dry before throwing on a t-shirt.

He turns to see you in a black sports bra, tugging on a pair of black tights, but unable to get them up your bum. Cedric smirks, walking over to you and pulling you up, holding you against him as a support while you finally get the leggings on. He sits you back down before pulling a jumper out of his bag and slipping it over your head.

The sweater seems to swallow you whole and it takes a moment to find the holes for your arms. You thank Cedric and sigh at being engulfed in Cedric’s sweet scent, pulling the jumper over your nose and smiling in content.

“You look better in my clothes than I do.” Cedric smirks happily, pulling you up again and interlocking your hands.

“Well in that case I guess I’ll keep it.” You grin, slipping on your sneakers and following Cedric out the prefect bathroom to the best of your abilities, having to stop often due to the aftershock of Cedric’s desperate pounding. Finally resorting to Cedric carrying you once again. Thankfully Dolores and her goons seemed to be missing from the scene.

Finally making it back to the hufflepuff common room, Cedric sneaks you into his dorm and closes the canopy around his four poster bed. Breathing out in content, The head boy cuddles you into his chest and wraps his arms around your torso.

“Can’t believe you’re actually here on my bed with me, I’ve only dreamt of this.” Cedric murmurs giddily, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your nose.

You snake your arms around Cedric’s broad chest and cuddle closer to him.

“I’m never letting you go, you know that.” Your champion teases, kissing your hairline.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You reassure, closing your eyes tiredly and slowly drifting off, exhaustion from the day's activities getting to you.

Cedric peers down at you a happy smile resting on his lips as he too yawns and relaxes into his pillow. This day couldn’t have gone any better. He won the game, fucked you in the shower and now he’s cuddling you in his bed. His blush reappears onto his cheeks as your breathy moans engrave themselves into his brain, but pride takes over as he reminds himself it was him who made you moan like that. Peppering kisses on your forehead he finally closes his eyes and replays your evening with a small smirk.

This is my first time writing smut so tips would be appreciated!

[eirikaanemo]

Summoning the Wind: Together

Part One: The Meeting, Part Three: The Finale

Venti x GN!Reader

1.4k Words

Warnings: Demon Summoning™, Social Isolation, Venti being dramatic

Notes: I'm posting this a day early because I have no self control

The next day you go back to school. Usually this would be a simple statement, but in this case it had consequences to go with it. People whisper in the halls, hushing briefly as you pass them. Venti floats a couple inches above your shoulder in his sprite form and people stare in a way you know their parents ought to have taught them never to do. You are now a pariah.

In a sad way, you understand. You’re a tier five summoner. Supposedly, you will never amount to anything. And in summoner schools like these, half the point is to build strong connections within the industry. No wonder no one wants anything to do with you. You’re practically worthless. And this hits you with the force of a speeding car every time someone looks a little too long or murmurs under their breath things about you.

It hurts. You’re not going to lie. It really, really hurts. The friends you thought you had made are suddenly avoiding you like the plague and you’re so, so alone. Except you aren’t though, you have Venti. So you spend most of the day interacting with him. You will talk at him, even if he can’t really reply back right now, but you know he’s listening and he reacts as best he can. And if he notices his cheerful chirps make you smile a little during this hard, hard day… well, maybe he does it a little more just for you.

You’re friends now, after all, and friends help each other. He can tell you need help, so he does what he can. It’s comforting to know that your partner is by your side through thick and thin. Even if, in some way, he is the cause of all this. But it isn’t his fault, not truly. So you could never dream of holding it against him.

Finally the school day is near its end. Your last class has a one worksheet assignment that could be taken care of quickly, and most do, but you’re putting a little more thought into it. After all, this will decide which path you and Venti will go on in the future.

“Well, we could join law enforcement and help protect people. We could work towards become summoning teachers ourselves. We could train for demon tournaments. We could-” Venti cuts off your rambling with a jingle, he’s nodding. “Uhm, the demon tournaments, right? You want to do those?” He nods vigorously. “Demon tournaments it is then,” you state, checking the box and turning in the assignment right before the bell rings.

The teacher looks over your worksheet and raises an eyebrow. “Are you certain?” The teacher asks. “As a tier five summoner, you will probably lose most battles.” You nod. “I’m absolutely certain. This is what Venti wants to do, so this is what I want to do.” You can feel the happiness coming off him in waves and your teacher gives you a smile.

“It may not be the most logical course of action, but I can appreciate the fact that you’re listening to your partner about these sorts of important things so early in your partnership.” Your teacher reaches down to pat the head of the pyro hound at their side. “Goodness knows I wish I had started listening to my partner sooner. Good on you for having your priorities in order!”

You blush and thank them before leaving with Venti. All the way home you chatter to him about what working towards competing in demon tournaments will entail and what you should do to prepare. And as soon as you get home he takes his human form again and chatters right back. The two of you plan out some teamwork exercises and do some meditating together to increase the strength of your partner mana bond.

He explains some of his abilities to you but you can tell he’s holding back. That’s okay, you decide. Your partnership is still very recent and you can’t expect him to just suddenly give you all the information you ask for. He will tell you when he’s good and ready, and you won’t let him give it to you a minute before then. You respect him too much for that.

As it gets to be evening he broaches the subject of how you’re being treated at school. “I noticed that no one’s been talking to you, just about you. And how no one wants to interact with you. And how your friends have been avoiding you. This is my fault, being labeled a fifth tier demon, isn’t it?” You shake your head insistently.

“No, Venti, it’s not your fault. It’s theirs. I don’t blame you for a second. And it’s fine, really. I can live with this, you’re here for me, after all.” At that he lets it go, but doesn’t seem very content with your answer. He can probably tell that it still tears you up inside. You’d reached a level of bond that lets you read some level of each others’ emotions earlier today, so you can’t really hide it from him.

Then the next day you start sparring classes for demon tournaments. It’s in a wide open room and against someone who summoned a tier five demon just for you to fight against. And even if you’re supposedly on equal terms with them, everyone is obviously expecting you to lose. It kind of stings, to be honest.

The referee starts the match with, “Start!” And the hydro sprite comes rushing at Venti while Venti stays perfectly still. You panic a little, worried, until he turns and winks at you before disappearing in a flash of turquoise. When you’re able to open your eyes again, he’s not in his sprite or his human form. He’s soaring in the air on hooded white wings. His outfit is white, gold, and turquoise. It’s magnificent.

“Diving Markmanship!” He calls from high in the air, sending a flurry of anemo powered arrows toward the hydro sprite. Said sprite is promptly whisked back to the demon realm after a single arrow, as all demons do when defeated in battle. It keeps them from actually getting harmed so while the tournaments may look dangerous, they’re all in good fun.

While you’re gazing thoughtfully at where the hydro sprite disappeared, everyone else is gaping at the sky with their demons cowering on the floor. Venti touches down next to you, grins when you look at him, and promptly turns back to his sprite form. Finally your referee gathers their wits enough to say something. “That… that is not a tier five demon.”

“Of course not,” one of the higher tier demons, capable of human speech responded. “That’s the flipping Anemo Archon, Barbatos. He’s the most powerful anemo demon to ever exist.” Slowly everyone turns to look at you and you turn to look at Venti. “This is news to me,” you state, lifting an eyebrow. You can feel his amusement and embarrassment through your bond and can’t help but laugh at the whole situation. What a day it has been.

Needless to say, things went a little back to normal. There’s still whispering in the halls, but at least people don’t avoid interacting with you anymore. They’re more awed than anything and you have to admit you’re a little in awe yourself.

“Why me?” You asked Venti later that night. “Why indeed,” he mused. “I suppose it is simply that our mana is a perfect match. This may be a bit of an odd situation for an archon like me to be in, some may even say it is below my station. But this is a lot more fun than I’ve had in millenia! So I’m really grateful that I can be your partner. Thank you!

“And I will admit, I wasn’t planning on revealing myself, at least not so soon and not like that. But it was really bothering me how they were treating you. Of course they shouldn’t have acted like that in the first place, but if there was something I could do to help I wanted to do it. So I did! I really do care about you, even if we haven’t known each other all that long. If not as a good human being, then as my summoner and friend. Thank you for being my friend.”

You smile at that. “No, thank you, Venti- or should I call you Barbatos?” He shakes his head. “You’re welcome. And no, Venti will do. I prefer to go by that name anyway.” You nod. “Venti it is then.”

[domesticmail]

the one where you and mat become parents

a/n: starts as angst, ends as fluff!!! this was supposed to be a blurb but i got really carried away aksjfahskdjfhdskfjh, 2.3k words about u and mat trying to have a baby!!

shameless plug: go read my other hockey stuff here!

warnings: there is a little bit of internalized sexism for a second, so just beware!! 

Your eyes brimmed with tears, hands shaking. The test quivered between your fingers, the sole focus of your attention, the cause of the anger and disappointment writhing in knots in your stomach. Your expression turned bitter as you looked away, biting your lips to keep the tears back, refusing to acknowledge the single blue line glaring back at you.

“Honey?” Mat put a hand on your waist. He came up behind you, peered around your body at the tiny test you were gripping, white-knuckled.

You felt him exhale heavily, his arms enveloping your waist. “Oh, baby,” he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your neck. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

You dropped the test and turned in your husband’s arms, pressed your face into his shirt and started to cry, tears streaming down your face. “It’s not okay!” You cried. “It’s not, Mat, we want a baby!”

“I know, we do,” he said gently, moving one hand to pet your hair. He laid a kiss to the crown of your head. “We want a baby.”

“And I can’t give you one,” you said bitterly. You weakened in his embrace, leaned all of your weight against him and sighed.

Shocked, Mat pulled away from you. He wiped your cheeks with both thumbs, cupping your face in his hands. “You don’t need to give me a baby to make me happy,” he insisted. “You’re perfect, with or without a baby.”

“But you want - “ You began, but Mat cut you off, raising an eyebrow.

“If we want a baby, we will try again.” He put a hand under your chin. You met his gaze with weak eyes. “There’s no you or me in this situation. It’s us. We’re a team, remember? Any decision we make - if we want a baby, if we don’t, if we want to adopt, whatever - will be a team decision, yeah? Say it with me. Making a baby is a Team Barzal decision.”

“Making a baby is a team decision,” you murmured, sniffling.

“No, no, it’s a Team Barzal decision.”

“Mat - “

He shook his head. “This is important.”

You sighed, looking away. He used his hand on your chin to make you look at him, gently guiding you back to face him. “You have to say it, babe. It’s my new thing.”

Another heavy sigh. “It’s a Team Barzal decision.”

Your husband’s face lit up in a grin, clearly pleased. “See? Wasn’t that hard.”

You sniffled grossly in response. Your nose was clogged now, head all stuffy, and your voice was all throaty and hoarse, so you sounded a bit like you had a cold when you said, “Do we want to try again?”

“My half of the team is ready to try again. Is your half?”

You opened your mouth to say yes, but hesitated. Seeing that one blue line - that negative, your nightmare,  - had killed you a little bit. You had been so nervous, so excited when your period had been late, you guys hadn’t even been trying but hey, you were financially stable, you felt like maybe, possibly, hopefully, you were ready for a baby! Mat had been ecstatic when you told him, had ran to the store almost immediately, those puppy-dog brown eyes full of joy and affection, looking at you like you were the only person on the planet.

You nearly crumbled when you saw that line, felt like you were going to fall over and dissipate into the wood floor of the hallway, just a pile of ashes. You were so excited, so ready, you hadn’t even known you’d wanted a baby until it’d been a possibility, and now you were exhausted.

Mat watched you hesitate and added, “We don’t have to try again. If your half isn’t ready, we’re not trying again.”

Your heart had broken and you hadn’t even been trying. How painful would it be then? If you were trying?

Could you take that feeling, that sinking, crumbling, breaking, shattering feeling? Were you that strong?

The short answer was you could, and you were. 

You did it again and again and again, three more times, and each time it killed you a little less.

And then, finally.

After the fourth test, you told Mat you’d try naturally one more time. If it didn’t work, then maybe it was time to have a conversation about where you wanted to go next - “Where Team Barzal goes next,” you’d said, smiling weakly, trying to make it a joke but only halfway succeeding. 

He’d done what he’d always done, smiled and nodded and told you he’d love you no matter what, that he’d be there for you regardless of what happened. “Your body, your rules, baby,” was his favorite phrase recently.

You were lucky to love someone so kind, so selfless. You knew he wanted kids, wanted to see little baby Barzals running around, clinging to his feet, begging him to make pancakes even though he just made waffles for them two minutes ago - so maybe if the fifth try didn’t work out, you’d go to IVF. That wouldn’t be bad, you hoped, but you’d had an aunt who was on IVF, and it had taken her three rounds to get pregnant. Two of those times, you know, she’d had her heart broken.

That was the aunt you’d watched tear herself apart over not being able to have kids. She was so ashamed, she didn’t even want you to bring it up to your cousin - that was absolutely forbidden. She was afraid it would make him feel bad. As if he cared.

Your mom had made sure to not pressure you to have kids after that. You’d only been thirteen, but she’d started asking you more about careers and college and post-grad plans than kids and a family, hoping, if you went down your aunt’s path, you wouldn’t beat yourself up over it. “Kids and a family are good for people who want kids and a family,” you remember her proclaiming to you at the dinner table. “If you don’t want kids, you don’t have to have them. It’s your body, Y/N. Not having kids doesn’t make you any less of a woman.”

To her credit, she’d tried really hard.

When you went to the doctor for your fifth try, to see if this was the one that would pan out, you tried not to get your hopes up. You sat quietly in the passenger seat of the Team Barzal Toyota camry, wishing Mat could’ve been here. He was pulled away, on the road for a few days - insisting every morning, without fail, that you call him, tell him if you felt different, and reminding you every day, “I love you no matter what.” You were going to wait until he came home - tomorrow - to tell him the news, good or bad. You wanted it to be in-person. 

You didn’t want to go to the appointment alone, so you asked Mat who he wanted to go in your place. You offered up your own sister, but he refused - there was only one person he would trust to go.

So that’s why Tito was driving you to the hospital. Mat had clarified for him - “If you’re in that room and not me, I’ll kill you,” being the warning he chose - that he would simply wait outside the office in the waiting room, to be there for emotional support. If you weren’t pregnant, you had somebody there to hold you. If you were, you had someone to talk to, to help you prepare. But under no circumstances was he allowed to say anything to Mat. He was to keep silent on all fronts. 

Tito was quiet in the front seat, letting the radio play softly.

All you were thinking was, “Not having kids doesn’t make you any less of a woman.” Over and over and over again.

Walking into the doctor’s office, you felt your heartbeat quicken. After checking in (and an uncomfortable conversation with the front desk woman about how no, Tito wouldn’t be coming back with you, he’s not your husband), your husband’s best friend gave you a hug. “I’m here if you need me, okay?”

You nodded. “Thank you, Tito. Really.”

He hugged you again, harder this time, then let you go and took his place in the room. A nurse came out and called your name; you followed her back.

The same doctor from last time appeared after the initial check-up procedure. “Mrs. Barzal, nice to see you again!” He greeted.

“Good to see you too, Dr. Green.” You smiled nervously.

“Mat not with us today?”

“No, just me.”

“Okay. Julie already handled all the formalities, and you’ve done this before, so this should all be old hat, right?”

You nodded.

“Fantastic.” He handed you the cup and gestured to the bathroom. “I’ll leave, let you get situated, and I’ll be back in a couple minutes, yeah?”

“Sure.”

A few minutes later, you handed him back the cup, he took it and left the room, and you sat quietly on the examination bed, hands folded in your lap. The only noise you could hear was your heart pounding in your chest, slamming against your ribcage. You gave yourself a mental pep talk: “You’re not any less of a woman if you don’t have kids. Mat will still love you. If the team,” - that’s what you’d taken to calling the two of you, your marriage, the team - “wants to keep trying, we’ll talk about IVF and maybe try that. And anyways, there’s always adoption -”

Three knocks on the door. “Ms. Y/N?”

“Come on in,” you said.

Dr. Green entered, holding his signature clipboard in one hand. “Well, I know this was our fifth try, right?”

You nodded, feeling like someone had dropped a lead ball in your gut.

“Usually by now couples have gone to IVF, which, admittedly, is a tough process, and can be a lot of waiting. For some couples it doesn’t even work, which is a whole different heartbreak - oh, I’m sorry, I’m rambling.”

You looked at him expectantly, gave a weak smile. “No worries.”

He peered over his glasses at you. “Most couples go to IVF, but...I’d say you should be glad you kept trying.”

And just like that, you felt weightless. The lead ball in your stomach disappeared. You felt your heart nearly burst, oh my god, you were pregnant, you’re gonna have a baby, you and Mat are gonna have a child, a little kid, a baby - and then your brain reminded you, “He didn’t say you were having a baby.”

Shit.

“Dr. Green,” you said carefully, trying to suppress a grin. “Am I pregnant?”

The man grinned. “I’m happy to inform you, dear, you are pregnant.”

You burst into tears and laughter, a smile lighting up your features. You raised your hands and yelled to the doctor, “We’re having a baby!”

He chuckled. “You’re having a baby!”

You walked into the waiting room and grinned at Tito, who picked you up in a hug. “Congrats, Y/N! That’s great news!”

The drive home was full of excitement, you and Tito rambling over each other about how happy Mat was gonna be, how he was gonna freak out, you were gonna have to buy baby stuff, would Tito help baby-proof the house? Would he babysit? Was he okay with ‘Uncle Tito’ or did he want to just be ‘Tito’ instead? Planning, questioning, wondering, everything, every emotion was in the front of the car that day. Needless to say, you were ecstatic.

Mat, on the other hand, was dying. He wanted - no, he needed to know if he was having a baby. Was there gonna be a little Barzal around in nine months? Was he gonna be a dad? The suspense was killing him.

When he finally came home, he burst through the front door with no warning, dropping his bags on the ground. He didn’t even wait to take his shoes off, just headed right for the bedroom, where he thought you’d be - where you weren’t.

You were in the kitchen, watching your husband run at breakneck speed to the room. “In the kitchen, honey,” you called after him.

He peeked his head out of the doorway, saw you standing at the island, cutting tomatoes for a salad. Took a few tentative steps towards you, hesitant, not wanting to be too excited but so nervous, so ready, let this be the one, please - he looked at you with pleading eyes. “So?”

“So…? How was the trip?” You asked, not looking him in the eye. You knew if you did, you’d give it away instantly. You wanted to hold onto the apprehension for just a little longer.

“Who cares about how the trip went,” he groaned. “Are you…?”

“Am I what?”

“Y/N! Are you pregnant?” He asked, breathless. “Are we having a baby?”

You met his gaze slowly, a grin forming on your features. “Mat,” you said quietly. “You’re gonna be a dad.”

“I’m gonna be a dad?” His hands went straight to his hair, elbows up, eyes wide. “I’m gonna be a dad.”

You laughed, smiling big. “You’re gonna be a dad, honey!”

“Holy shit, we’re having a baby!” He yelled. “Y/N, we’re gonna be parents, we’re having a baby!” He laughed loudly, running and enveloping you in his arms. He planted a kiss on your  forehead, then your lips. “We’re having a baby!”

“We’re gonna be parents,” you giggled, cupping his jaw with one hand.

Those puppy-dog eyes looked into yours again, like he was trying to show you just how much he loved you with only his gaze. “I love you, honey, I love you.”

“I love you too, Maty.”

He exhaled hard, then grinned. “We’re gonna be the best parents.”

tagging my mat simps lol I love u guys.  @starkeybabie @heypope @fav-imagines @young-beezy @brock-mcginny @softstarkey @mtkachuk​

[revivivivify]

Head full many thoughts

This is turning into a mixture of Albedo and Keqing stan account, theory account, and meme account. Is this not the content you sighed up for? Are you not amused?

My brain is scattered right now but I need to get this out because HNGHHHH

Dainsleif. Dainsleif is here, in person. The implications of this could be rather immense. Dainsleif truly being a physical, tangible person and showing up in the presence of the traveler (and other people) no less is a tad shocking to me. We’re still very early in the game’s plot, and Khaenri’ah is likely the “endgame” so to speak. The fact that we’re getting contact with Dainsleif himself so early on is quite surprising. Granted, we don’t know what role he’ll play in the long run or many details about him at all, but he’s here.

And that brought to mind a possibility I hadn’t considered yet: Khaenri’ah still exists to an extent. How? Perhaps the ruins of Khaenri’ah have become an extension of Abyss.

I won’t claim to be absolutely sure yet, there are too many unknowns. But Khaenri’ah is stated in Albedo’s fifth character story to be an underground nation that relied upon Khemia (Khaenri’ah alchemy techniques, if you didn’t know) to create plant life and sustain a society. The cataclysm supposedly put an end to Khaenri’ah, but that begs the question of where did the people of Khaenri’ah go? Were they all killed? The way Gold’s actions are described makes me wonder if it’s possible that instead of creating monsters, they turned the citizens of Khaenri’ah into the monsters we know today.

We know that hilichurls have their own language, and that Abyss Mages are even capable of speaking the language of Teyvat. But that leaves one large question: why have Dainsleif, Kaeya, and presumably Rhinedottir escaped the ravages of this cataclysm? It occurred five hundred years ago, and Kaeya is likely in his twenties. How is he Khaenri’ah’s last hope if he was born centuries after the cataclysm that destroyed it? I really don’t know, to be honest. We have more questions than answers regarding Khaenri’ah, and one of the biggest holes in our knowledge is the timeline. Dainsleif’s continued existence can be explained by the fact he’s likely hundreds if not thousands of years old, but we still don’t know how he would’ve escaped the cataclysm. Many suspect a kind of time distortion or anomaly that allows Kaeya and perhaps people like him to exist in this post-cataclysm world, and I would say it’s likely. The God of Time is also a large unknown, and it’s quite possible they’re involved in some way.

On the subject of Gold, they are said to have been corrupted by their own greed and ambition, but it’s thought to be possible that Abyss had a hand in growing their power. And interestingly, Kaeya’s known to actively antagonize the Abyss Order. His first voice line about himself is actually not about himself- it’s asking if the Abyss Order is causing the traveler any trouble.

To be sure of anything, I would need a more precise timeline and confirmation on whether or not Abyss existed before Khaenri’ah, and more specific information about Gold. But there’s one more thing that’s been hanging in the back of my mind.

A second cataclysm is being implied to be impending.

Dainsleif has mentioned time and time again in cryptic comments at the ends of the Collected Miscellany videos this: “the day.” The prophecy given to him seems to also foretell a day of reckoning.

There’s so much to unpack here.

“The original calamity” is probably the cataclysm. “The island in the sky set the world to burn” is undeniably plain; Celestia is going to have a hand in this great disaster, and perhaps even had a hand in the original cataclysm. This part is easy, but not much else is.

“The eclipse is swallowed by the crimson moon” leaves me at a loss, I’m not quite sure what it could mean.

“Chalk pursues gold” I have discussed this line before but I’ll say it again for relevance: it could have a few different meanings. The ones that immediately come to mind are that Albedo will end up paralleling Gold and be an instrument in this disaster, or he will seek out and likely oppose Gold. I would say it’s more likely to be the second based purely upon the wording. (My ramblings on Albedo’s storyline are discussed here as well, and in previous theories)

Also, “the future must atone for bygone mistakes” implies a punishment for some event in the past, which in my opinion is likely related to Khaenri’ah or Abyss, or both.

The rest is likely related to the traveler and their sibling, and Dainsleif’s implied friendship with the traveler’s sibling, but I really don’t feel like I can go into much depth without more information.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and make the assumption that the Heart of Naberius artifact mentioned in Albedo’s fourth Character Story has something to do with this looming disaster. If so, whether Rhinedottir seeks to avert or cause this destruction is unclear.

This was longer than I intended it to be but oh well

[lacrimaomnis]

BRF Reading, 15/7/2021 (Part One)

Background: The ask I received from an anon earlier today made me wonder about something -- but for that, I have to indulge in a little bit of a ramble here.

If you have read my about page here, you will know that I have been an on and off royal watcher for some time. I know about Harry and Meghan's wedding, and while there was something I couldn't put my fingers on back then, I definitely did not lean towards warming up to her, which was normal for me. Catherine got married when I was too young to understand and to have a care for the world, and so, when I started royal-watching, I did not warm up to Catherine quickly either. But if there is anything I know, even if I did not warm up to Catherine sooner, is that Catherine and Wiliam married for love. I believe that much.

Now, Harry and Meghan, on the other hand, feels...I don't know how to say it, but it feels like there were tied hands back then when they married. So I have two questions, which I will read in two days. I planned to read twice in one day, but I am just too tired and sleepy. Part Two will be tomorrow.

As written, this is merely a speculation and therefore must be taken with a grain of salt. This speculation is not true until proven otherwise.

My question today is, why did Harry decide to marry Meghan?

Cards drawn: Knight of Cups, Eight of Wands, Ten of Wands, Eight of Pentacles, Four of Wands, Nine of Cups, Four of Cups.

Remarks/Comments: I was honestly expecting at least one or two major arcana cards to come up to give me some clarity about the situation, but I am surprised to see that none of the major arcana pops up. Not to say that a spread consisting purely of minor arcana cards is less clear compared to a spread with major arcana, but I was hoping there was a definite something I can look at to determine the main energy in this reading.

Summary: This spread consists of seven cards. Three of the cards are Cups and another three are Wands, which means that two suits make up for the majority of cards, which could mean that this marriage was based on feelings (Cups) and was thought of as a solution to a problem (Wands).

First card: Knight of Cups. This is a court card, and therefore, it stands for a person in my question -- which is Harry. This card speaks about making decisions based on emotions rather than thinking calmly to reach a decision; which did tell me that Harry decided to get married solely based on his emotions, and he did make this decision when he was blinded by his emotions rather than reason.

This card also speaks about loving someone for the sake of love itself, speaking about someone who shares that love freely. This does tell me that yes, Harry married Meghan out of love. I was surprised because I was sure that Meghan subtly manipulated Harry to marry her, especially with rumours of the secret marriage and yadda yadda, hence that "hands tied" feeling I mentioned earlier in this post. This card does tell me that Harry truly loved Meghan, loved her enough to marry her. They did say love makes you blind, and I do think this is perhaps what happened to Harry.

Second card: Eight of Wands. This card speaks about delays, frustration, fast-paced change, and action. Looking at this card, I remembered how Harry was not exactly successful with his earlier relationships. He broke up with Miss Chelsy Davy due to "rising incompatibility of their life choices", he broke up with the now Mrs Wentworth-Stanley, Cressida Bonas -- if tabloids were to be trusted, Harry even planned to marry her -- and it fell through. This did tell me that not only Harry loved Meghan enough to marry her, but he also did not want the Eight of Wands to happen again to him and his relationship with Meghan.

Third card: Ten of Wands. Now, this is another interesting card. For some reason, in two separate days, in two readings concerning Harry or Meghan, this card likes to show itself. Harry was burdened by something that he decided to get married and it wasn't that long in the past either, like the Eight of Wands. But the cards did show me he loved her, that Knight of Cups is just staring at me with his wide eyes, and his heart pouring out...then why was he burdened? Wasn't marrying someone you love a celebration, not a burden? Why would marrying someone you love become a burden? I love my partner with all my heart, and I would never consider marrying him a burden. In fact, I am (with that childish excitement) looking forward to the day he offers the ring. Then why? Why did this card come up?

Fourth card: Eight of Pentacles. The only card representing anything material wealth related, and the card itself doesn't even speak about anything materialistic. This card speaks about apprenticeship, repetitive tasks, self-development, and misdirected activity. In a broader sense, this card speaks about working away at the finer details of your life to improve your situation. Did Harry think marrying Meghan would improve his situation? In my humble opinion, marriage is not merely one finer detail of life, it is a huge part of someone's life. What would be improved in Harry's life when he married Meghan? Is there any? Or did Harry think so? There's a big difference between doing something that one thinks would improve a situation and doing something that actually improves a situation, just like how there is a big discrepancy between how we perceive a situation to be and the actual situation. I think Harry's decision to marry Meghan was in the former category.

Fifth card: Four of Wands. This card is closely associated with the elements of home: the people who make a home safe, people who support you, the familiarity, everything that makes a house a home. Now, the position of this card in this spread suggests these "elements" that make a home had an influence on Harry's decision to marry Meghan. The only thing I can think about is the rumours where members of the royal family (particularly William) warned Harry against rushing into marriage.

Looking at its pair, the Eight of Pentacles, this card did give me some idea that Harry might think that his situation at home, at least from his point of view, might be able to be improved if he married Meghan. This would once again beg the question of what, why, and how? How would marrying Meghan improve his situation? Why did he have to get married to improve his situation? What was the situation that he had to get married to improve it? This pair of cards leave me with more questions than answers.

Sixth card: Nine of Cups. This is the pair of the Ten of Wands. This card is usually about contentment and satisfaction, but could also speak about dissatisfaction and materialism. This card tells me that the burden (Ten of Wands) Harry felt was dissatisfaction with his family (Four of Wands). He was not satisfied with something that he decided to marry Meghan, believing that Meghan might be able to satisfy him in that particular aspect of his life. I am not inclined to believe Harry decided to marry Meghan because of money (in fact, I believe the opposite applies), so I'd stick with the dissatisfaction interpretation.

This card also reminds me of the so-called one-sided rivalry between William and Harry, and one of my thoughts I've written here. I must underline that these are solely Harry's thoughts and feelings, which would fall in line with what we've seen from him: a whiny, sulky adult man who feels that everyone has to bow at him because he was the son of a mother who was tragically killed in a car crash.

Seventh card: Four of Cups. This card talks about apathy, contemplation, retreat, and withdrawal. As the result of his decision to marry Meghan, Harry has shown that he was capable of being completely apathetic to all the sadness he has inflicted on his family because of all their lies as long as they get their way. He also leaves his family to follow Meghan, the family that provided him with comfort and stability for all his life.

Conclusion: As much as how we'd like to believe otherwise, this reading tells me that Harry perhaps did love Meghan. Perhaps he did love her enough that he decided to marry her, but that decision wasn't made based on reason. He was blinded by his own emotions. He also thought marrying Meghan would improve the situation at home, perhaps he was thinking that marrying Meghan would improve his standing somewhat, which, well, frankly, does not make sense. What kind of standing did he hope? Did he hope to have some sort of social standing in Hollywood?

[princessphilly]

if you still have a prompt spot left I'd love to read one with tk!

Open my heart

Give it to you

Tell the whole world that I'm in love with you

Whatever you want

Baby, I'll do

I know I don't want nobody else but you - Ciara - Promise

Related to Filthy Boy and A Very Filthy Holiday

The first gift was a stuffed Gritty. 

You oohed and aahed over it because you loved the loveable troublemaking mascot of the Flyers. Travis rolled his eyes but you showed off your little Gritty to everyone. However, you kept the note that came with it to yourself. It simply read xoxo, your secret admirer. 

You were the average girl living in Philly so you were surprised to have a secret admirer. But, it was two weeks from Valentine’s Day and you were a romantic at heart so you were ready to ride it out for as long as you could, even if your secret admirer ended up being someone you weren’t attracted to. It was the thought that counted.

The second gift, four days later, was a gift card to Teuscher’s in the Bellevue. You looked at the gift card in a bit of shock. It was for $100 so whoever was your secret admirer, they had some good taste. That night, after an awful practicum, you treated yourself to champagne truffles and dreamed of the Flyers breaking their losing streak. After his game at MSG, you told Travis about it and he looked disgruntled.

The third gift was a vinyl of your all-time favorite album, 1989. When you told the boys on FT, Travis rolled his eyes. Nolan smirked while making eyes at Kia and Kia giggled. Kia replied, “Whoever this is, they have good taste.”

On day four, there wasn’t a gift waiting for you when you woke up and you felt strangely disappointed. However, after you returned home from your shift at work, there was a bottle of rose waiting for you. When you posted a picture of the rose in the group chat, everyone was happy for you except Travis. He sent a meh emoji and you felt angry and sad. If your FWB was mad that you were getting gifts from a secret admirer, he should have asked you out before now. In your opinion, a FWB was not the same as a boyfriend.

Your fifth gift was a pass for a spa day at the Four Seasons. According to the card, you could get as many treatments as you wanted, literally anything you wanted for that spa day. It went from 9am to 6pm and it was for you and three of your friends. Kia mentioned that if you didn’t want to date your secret admirer, she would take them off your hands. Hannah just talked about getting a hot stone massage for the rest of the day. You decided not to mention it in the group chat. Travis sent you a couple of messages and a FT call but you decided to ignore him too. 

The sixth gift came five days before Valentine’s Day and it was the most practical gift yet. You were still a poor, soon-to-be graduating college student and you needed a new winter coat for the Philly winters. Your coat, while it had held up well in California, it was finally done this year. You whistled when you looked at the coat. It was Moncler and whoever your secret admirer was, they had money. You weren’t label conscious or anything but this was almost too much to accept. Then you saw the tags were cut and you sighed. 

For the first time, you felt a bit sad. It was obvious to you that your secret admirer wasn’t Teeks. The gifts were super extravagant and Travis wasn’t extravagant like this. The greaseball hick was more at home in sweats, t-shirts, and his ironic baseball hats. You bit your lip as you put on the coat. You were already this far in, might as well ride it out.

Today was Valentine’s Day itself and luckily, on a weekend. The boys were finally back in town after an extended road trip but you were waiting to see what your secret admirer got you for a final gift. There was nothing waiting for you when you woke up and now, it was 6pm and there was nothing here. Kia was out with Nolan and you were by yourself. Hannah and Britt had gone out for drinks and you were watching cheesy movies while staring at your phone. Teeks hadn’t called you all day even though his IG story said that he was back in Philly. Then you heard a knock on the door.

You quickly got off the sofa, brushing popcorn off your hoodie and shorts. Opening the door,  you gasped when you saw Travis. He was dressed in one of his game-day suits, his gray-green eyes looking intensely at you.

“Hi,” you said as you gestured for Travis to come in. Part of you were happy; his attitude towards the gifts you received this week had you spoiling for a fight. Reading yourself for a snarky comment, you were taken aback when Travis took a jewelry box out of his pocket.

Travis softly stated, “This is for you.”

You gingerly took the box, opening it to show a labradorite necklace. You gasped as Travis smiled. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day from your secret admirer. Be my girlfriend?”

You looked at Travis with wide eyes. The snarky troublemaking spark plug on the ice who you did very filthy things with looked very vulnerable. He rambled, “I know, it’s kinda backward but fuck, I really like you and I want to be the only one dating you and you’re the only one I want-”

You giggled as Travis rambled. Then you got on your tip-toes and pressed your lips to Travis for a second before moving back. “Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend. You had me fooled though.”

Travis blushed. “I had to play it off. Everyone kept chirping me, you know.”

“How did you get all of the gifts to me,” you asked, curious.

“Kia was in on it,” Travis confessed. Then he gave you another soft smile before saying, “Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

[onebizarrekai]

I went on an unfiltered positive soapbox rant in a doc about green oak last night at 1am

please note that I usually post with moderation on my language but this rant does not have this

I have to give you the original. I have to

yo it’s almost 1 in the fucking morning and I played pokemon for 4 fucking hours today and I’m gonna ramble about GARY FUCKING OAK

LISTEN CAREFULLY. ok listen

to start off my ted talk with something partially irrelevant, I cannot get over the fact that green and gary are almost 2 very distinct personalities. they have similarities, but in my head, green has a genuine capacity to be personally malicious, while gary exists for the sole purpose of being as much of a chad as possible

scale of oak: <————————————————> emo bitch         smartass       tax fraud (manga)             (game)              (show)

(I haven’t read the manga in like 10 years and I’m having these vague recollections and I’m like whoa god. I forgot that red and green didn’t know each other in the manga they were literally strangers it’s so weird also they were ALL SO YOUNG)

so basically, gary is a hilarious fucking character whom cade (my brother) and I have distorted beyond belief by making him a rich snob and making endless tax history jokes, and green oak, green fucking oak, is a much more elaborate human being.

real character development as a real life person is growing up and realizing that green is your favorite pokemon character, and not just because he’s comically an asshole and easily mockable, it’s also because he goes through so much fucking implicit character development and it’s VERY IMPORTANT AND COOL.

call it extra and biased but fuck off. no character in pokemon has ever gotten more character development than green oak, and not seeing any of it happen on screen is actually really interesting.

pokemon isn’t generally about character development beyond the dialogue you see on the screen. I mean, apparently it’s little enough about the story that sword and shield completely bailed on the idea of actually having a fucking story, even though sun and moon had a pretty decent one. ANYWAY, green oak is such a fucking cool character because there’s so much room for speculation, and I’m gonna go on a list of reasons why everything about this is neat.

1. he is the only character whom you actually see change in a pokemon game off camera and between long timespans, to my recollection. the only thing to compare this to is the transition between the two fifth gen stories, and while my memory is foggy since I only played black 2 once, I don’t remember any of the characters in that game changing much at all. maybe cheren became less of a dick, whatever. no one cares because he has absolutely no subtext.

2. red is the only protagonist in pokemon history who has made a second appearance. red is a real fucking person, a real pokemon character, and isn’t just a convenient fill-in for the player who gets thrown away after the game is over (LOOKING AT YOU, BLACK 2 AND WHITE 2). green’s relationship to red, no matter how damaged, is a real thing, and a real story element. this is never done in any other pokemon game. green is the only rival whose story continues after the game is over because his counterpart continues to exist.

3. the context of the game. after green barreled through the entirety of kanto, talking red down all the while, and then becoming champion, he gets beaten by red once and for all and his dream of being champion is torn right out of his hands moments after being obtained. everything green cared about is taken away from him by the person he was always mean to. karma, bitch.

so green becomes the 8th gym leader. it doesn’t take two moments of thinking about this to understand how much he doesn’t want this. it’s like, settling for 6th best after your dream job falls through, since nobody knows how the structure of the elite four works.

to top it all off, red RUNS THE FUCK AWAY TO A GODFORSAKEN MOUNTAIN. he takes everything away from green, shatters his world, and then won’t even take the dream that green wanted. can you imagine how mad he’d be about that? green is already having an existential crisis about his behavior problems, he doesn’t need this fucking bullshit. somehow lance becomes the new champion meanwhile even though he’s an elite four member. you’d think green would at least take his place, or something. the amount that I’m confused about this is probably also applies to green. there’s a chance that green rejected the position of champion due to being defeated by red right away, and all the shame he got, but even so, it undoubtably would have taken a toll on him.

finally, here’s the kicker. in spite of all this, green doesn’t make it his business to end the world or some shit. in spite of this, he becomes a better person. green fucking oak has a fucking soul. also, it’s been a VERY long time since I’ve played all of soulsilver, but does green ever complain about red being isolated on mt silver? maybe that’s wishful thinking.

final bout: after years and years, green and red arrive in alola together as grownass men. red came down from the fucking mountain, and green is the one he came to the islands with. this implication of reconcile is so FUCKING IMPORTANT because of what these two have been through for like, the last 20 years.

you cannot POSSIBLY look at this like it’s not a big deal. like, they didn’t just “grow up and get over it.” red had to kick green aside to become the champion (which is still such a fucking good conclusion for the game, like, thinking back on it having a rival who’s a dick to you for the whole game and then destroying his life is grimly poetic), RAN AWAY TO A MOUNTAIN and gave up the title, indicating to green that it didn’t even matter to him (whether he meant that or not, whatever, running away to a mountain is fucking stupid), and in spite of all this, they ended up reconciling. they reconciled. green could have been mad at red for the rest of his life for destroying his dream, regardless of how he treated red when they were younger. maybe green figured that he still had a shot at becoming champion again, but maybe that’s the point. he continues to want to be stronger than red but doesn’t let it carry into how he treats people anymore.

I’m curious, though. what really happened? did red and green put it all behind them? did they deem there someone to blame? did red just become the champion to get back at green after all, and then ran away because he didn’t know how to live with it? or did he run away because it truly didn’t matter to him? or did red become the champion purely out of his own self goals and wasn’t even thinking about green? if so, why did he run away? so many things to think about.

anyway, tldr, green has been through more character development than any other pokemon character and I adore him

also. where the fuck is gold. he defeated red and then ceased to exist

update: in heartgold and soulsilver, green doesn’t seem to know where red is, but in some of his dialogue over call, he tells you that you “remind him of someone” and he mumbles dejectedly about red before hanging up

[anothertimdrakestan]

Stop Talking And Kiss Me  -  Jason Todd x Reader

Words: 1.7

Requested? Yes! From a lovely anon!

“can i request 7 (no i'm not in love with him i like you idiot) and/or 8 (kiss me already) with jason? thank you!!”

LINK TO PROMPTS  -> REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN!

I love this request! It’s super open so I hope I captured the energy you wanted to create in the studio today lmao. I went for the “will they won’t they” kinda thing because I like the idea of Jason thinking you like Tim but you really have been going after him for months. Jason is too cute I can’t Hope you enjoy!

“Hi. Yes Timothy the Luthor family comes in a week, no they won’t come earlier. No, I’m not calling anyone ‘again’ Tim shut up you’ll do fine we aren’t postpoining. Ok see you in 40 I’m going to another one of the finance meetings I know damn well you won’t be at” you tapped your earpiece, hanging up with your CEO. As the CFO you attended every meeting the higher-ups had about money, it way your job after all. Somehow being Tim’s right hand man meant making excuses to the board about his whereabouts and often his brother’s actions during meetings that were supposed to be money centric. Rushing to the meeting you felt a couple of the papers you were carrying fly off the top of your stack. Deciding they weren’t worth it you continued on not noticing the tall figure following closely behind you.

“Y/n! Hey! I got these uh - papers for you that you dropped” you skidded to a halt coming face to face with Jason Todd, currently the bane of your existence after his last social media storm where he vividly described a pornographic video he was hoping his following could find for him. The “Toddsters” always pulled through for Jason, to the Wayne Ent. board’s disgust. “Hey Todd, thanks.” you smiled up at him as he loomed over you. You really only knew him and Tim, obviously you were close with Tim but you were older than the teen-genius and so it was nice getting closer with Jason over the months. Months, this was because he used to never come in until a couple months ago when you requested he get brought in because you needed him to try to sell new W.E. tech to the “Toddsters”. After that he’d been coming in more frequently, sometimes he sat in on meetings with you and Tim, he was often bringing you and Tim lunch and the three of you would eat in your office while you prepared Tim for afternoon meetings.

Jason was surprisingly reliable. Occasionally you would ask him to bring you coffee or post a video of him asking his following for something, he always complied even if it took some coaxing from you, making promises to dinners together you assumed would never happen in return for W.E. paid promotions. He had grown on you, his goofy smile, aggressive finger guns, and occasionally dark and brooding persona was fascinating. You were constantly enamored by him, and since he’d been coming around the office way more you were beginning to fall for him. Tim knew since you two saw each other and was always trying to play matchmaker even though you both thought the other didn’t like the other, bringing you guys together was a task too difficult for the world’s second greatest detective so Tim just shipped the two of you quietly now. 

As Jason stacked you up with your papers he saw you could barely carry all of them. “Hey let me take these for you, anything for the princess of Wayne Ent” Jason took then out of your arms as you smirked at his nickname for you. He loved calling you princess, noting that Tim was the jester he never really asserted his own position. After an attempt at stopping the nickname it stuck, and you now answered to it happily, but only from Jason. Tim never tried it and when anyone else questioned it, either you or Jason just explained that it just fit. 

“Sure Jay but the board is gonna drag you into the meeting, it will be nice if you go! I’m sure we all want an explanation for your most recent social media activity” you poked his chest while he replied with a wink as he followed you into the meeting. You sat down as Jason dropped the papers on the meeting table with a thump. “Ah, Mr. Todd. Please we have just a few questions do join us” An older man looked up from his laptop, demanding Jason’s presence. Heaving a sigh he slumped into the chair next to you. 

As the second presenter for the meeting got up to walk you through slides at a turtle's pace you realized there was no sneaking out. Even though you were up to date on the company’s finances the rest of the room wasn’t and it was far too rude to leave. Looking over at Jason he had pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, rested his hand on his chin, and was asleep. You watched him draw in deep breaths and exhale, slightly blowing the corner of his hood with each breath, it was nothing short of adorable, but because this was a meeting you couldn’t snap a picture meaning you had to drink in every moment of cuteness. 

As the third presenter got up you considered faking a heart attack. Jason was awake now meaning you couldn’t steal anymore glances in his direction. Anytime you looked at him he was making a goofy face, winking at you, or trying to touch his tongue to his nose. Constantly concealing giggles, by the end of the third presentation your cheeks hurt from smiling. 

When the fourth presentation began you felt a little piece of paper poke your hand. Looking down you saw Jason trying to pass you a note like a fifth grader. Unwrapping his folding-job the note read: Y/n this is a boring meeting why do u go to these? You smiled, pulling a pencil from your bag you flipped the note over and wrote: because Tim makes me so he doesn’t fall asleep like you did. Jason smirked, tearing off a large piece of paper and writing: If you need to sleep you can rest on my shoulder. You scoffed looking at him as he gave his shoulder a little pat, grinning uncontrollably. You glared at him before deciding to shoot your mini shot: Flirting are we Todd? Your heart skipped a beat when a light blush appeared across his cheeks as he wrote: Not unless you’ll let me steal you from your boy toy Tim. Confused you looked at him replying: More like best friend Tim, I’m not a cougar idiot. 

Jason read the paper, his head snapping to you, blurting out in front of the whole board “wait you don’t like Tim!” You felt your own face redden when all heads turned to you. Quietly you mumbled “no I don’t like him” before grabbing the paper and finishing your thought: i like you idiot. Carefully sliding the paper to Jason, you cleared your throat. “Please continue Mr. Smith about the importance of gauging inflation” Willing yourself not to look at Jason you pretended to listen to the presentation while the rest of the board slowly lost interest in the little interruption. 

Deciding the coast was clear you glanced at Jason who was re-reading your note over and over again. He looked up, making direct eye contact with you, mouthing “I like you too princess” you couldn’t help but grin. His hand slip over, dropping the paper and grabbing your hand, pulling it below the table so as to not cause any drama. 

You gave presenter five no attention, too focussed on the fact that Jason Todd was holding your hand. Presenter five finished with a mini lecture to Jason on the importance of keeping his social media pg, he rolled his eyes but eventually nodded, effectively ending the meeting. You pulled your hand out of Jason’s and began organizing the papers you’d brought in as the rest of the board left the meeting room. As the last person left the room Jason practically ran to the door, shutting it quickly. 

Unable to process your excitement you began rambling “so uh, pretty eventful meeting huh? Did you hear anything the second guy said or -” Jason grabbed your hand, pulling you into his embrace. “Stop talking and kiss me y/n” he mumbled, leaning it. As his lips caught yours you could feel him smiling into the kiss, his hands snaking around your waist and pulling you in closer. Pulling away you couldn’t stop smiling. “I think I’m gonna come to Tim’s work more often” Jason admitted, winking at you. You hummed as you moved the papers into the storage system, moving towards the door to leave. “Hey princess lemme get that!” Jason dashed to the door, opening it for you and grabbing your hand as you walked out the door. 

Walking past your company hand in hand with their CEO’s older brother was a lot. For everyone. You blushed as people stole glances in your direction. Jason led you to your office where Tim sat in your chair, feet propped up on your desk.  “Uh hey Timmy” you sheepishly laughed as Tim took in your situation. “Todd I told you she liked you. Same goes for you Y/N. I just can’t believe I lost the bet with Roy I thought you were gonna be pining for each other for at least another week. Dammit” Tim feigned anger but then admitted how happy he was for the two of you. Sitting down for lunch you were exhausted. Finishing your meal you leaned back in your chair, resting your eyes for a few minutes while Jason stroked the back of your hand with his thumb. 

As you slowly woke up you felt your head propped up against something. You realized it was Jason when he gave you a light shake saying “Y/N while I did say you could rest on my shoulder I didn’t think it would be for half an hour, my shoulder fell asleep!” Your few minutes of rest had turned into thirty, jolting up from your position against Jason you checked your calendar realizing you’d missed a meeting. “Relax princess Tim took the meeting, you really think I’d let you sleep through another business meeting?” you snorted “yes I know you would Todd”

“You really do know me too well princess”

[bigskydreaming]

This isn't a meme thing or anything but I was wondering if you had a top ten favorite characters from books? I actually end up getting a lot of good book recs from reading your blog so I was just curious lol.

LOL I wasn't going to do this ask because I was like ugh I suck at top ten lists because I can never pick just ten. But then I thought about it for like, five whole seconds and realized I DO have ten standout characters in answer to this so its like oh hey, learned something new about myself today! Lmao.

Anyway, in no particular order:

1) Anyanwu - from Wild Seed by Octavia Butler - Can not stress how like fucking...formative Anyanwu's character was for me as an abused kid who first read this when I was like 12. The book heavily deals with the back and forth across centuries between these two immortals, Anyanwu and Doro, as Doro basically tries to control her every which way he can, and Anyanwu just defies him at every turn, and it just....you love to see it. She's a bad-ass and I adore her.

2) Prince Corwin and Merle Corey/Merlin - from Chronicles of Amber by Roger Zelazny - Yes I'm cheating but its me so you should have seen that coming. Another fave series from when I was in middle school, its ten books in total, and the first five are in Corwin's POV and the second five are in the POV of his son Merle/Merlin. So I maintain it counts. And is fine. Shhh, let it go, Elsa said so. ANYWAY, I actually probably like Merle better than his dad, because I mean, lbr, Corwin is a total asshole. But he's MY asshole, y'know? Wait, that came out wrong. Don't quote me there. But you know what I mean. Merle is a lot more level-headed, and quick-witted I think, and I like his supporting cast of relatives who want to kill him and he sometimes want to kill more than his dad's supporting cast of relatives who want to kill him and he always wants to kill, but like. Both are Valid. Also shout out to Fiona and Rinaldo, with a side shout out to Flora, who are probably my next three favorites from the series. Dara would be up there too but she knows what she did.

3) Elric/Corum/Dorian/etc - from the Eternal Champion books by Michael Moorcock - Look I'm already cheating so why not continue on a theme. But basically this counts too, I'm just saying. See Michael Moorcock's big project going all the way back to the 60s was he created a fantasy multiverse of different dimensions where this one Eternal Champion, meant to balance the scales between the Lords of Law and the Lords of Chaos, like, is reborn over and over again in different incarnations but who are all essentially him. So Elric of Melnibone, Dorian Hawkmoon, Corum I can never remember his last name.....they're all essentially the same guy.....but they're all at the same time very very very different, and they have extremely different storylines. But I maintain if you're gonna read one you kinda gotta just read them all, all Pokemon like and such forth, because the real beauty of these books is seeing the familiar traces of the Eternal Champion threaded through each of these incarnations but also contrasting how different they are from each other and like, looking at what makes them so different each time and how much it stems from their environment and situations, etc.

4) Civet - from the Dragons of the Inland Sea series by Laurence Yep - This is a kids' series, like for ages 10-12 kinda, but easily my favorite from when I was a kid. I reread them so many times, and I love pretty much all the characters from Shimmer to Thorn to Monkey, but Civet was always a standout. She's essentially a tragic character and her ending is bittersweet, but like.....she fully knows who she is and what she's about and makes no apologies for that, and she ends on exactly the note she wants to. Like, her story and her characterization was pretty damn dark for such a young-aimed series, but that's part of what drew me to it, it managed to capture the tone it set out to convey but in a completely age-appropriate way, and in an era when most books aimed at kids dumbed down most of their story concepts and themes, this one was refreshing for just being....real. Despite being blatantly fantasy. Also the Boneless King is one of the best villains ever, despite being deliberately over the top a lot of the times....idk what it was about him, but he was just chilling.

5) Jack the Bodiless and Diamond Mask - from the Galactic Milieu series by Julian May - These are linked as well because they're a couple and their stories intertwine so much that there's no real point in separating them y'know? That's my story and I'm sticking to it. But anyway, they're a weird choice for me because Julian May is hit or miss for me overall....I HATE her Saga of the Pliocene Epic, which is technically in the same universe as her Galactic Milieu series, but they have totally different vibes and the latter series doesn't contain any of the elements from the Saga of the Pliocene that I loathe, so it just works. Plus it has Jack and Diamond Mask, and like.....I don't actually know why I love them so much? They're just so different from pretty much any other characters I've ever read. Like, May does a lot of really high concept stuff across the board, but Jack and Diamond Mask are like.....high concept character wise? If that makes sense? Its okay if it doesn't. I'm literally just spitting words out here. Honestly, its hard to say anything specific about them because so much of their characters conceptually just doesn't make sense without knowing the in-universe concepts that led to them even existing, but like. They're weird and off the wall but still astoundingly human for all that and I love them.

6) Naomi Nagata - from the Expanse books by James S. A. Corey - I mean, if you've seen me ramble all the Naomi love in my live-watches of The Expanse TV show, this should be no surprise, but my love for her in the books like, exists manifold. She's great in both, but the books cover so much more content-wise, that her character has so much more room to breathe and be explored in all kinds of directions the TV show never touches on. The funny thing is, I actually prefer the TV characterizations overall....I think the authors of the books are actually pretty shit at characterization a lot of the time, but the basic thread of Naomi's character is consistent and the sheer abundance of story material she has in the books like.....keeps me going back to them even just for her. Her conflict with Marco in the books in particular just has so much more depth than in the show....like, I don't hate the show's version at all, anyone who's seen my posts there knows that lol, and I'm not actually even sure which version I actually like more in terms of that particular storyline.....but I just love that both versions are so different, while still being recognizably the same, y'know? I don't even know. Nobody knows. Its a mystery. Just nod and say yes, shh, its fine.

7) Locke Lamora - from The Lies of Locke Lamora/The Gentleman Bastards series by Scott Lynch. This is an odd one for me, because in one sense Locke is a very contrived archetypal character from an author that doesn't always pull it off as successfully as I feel he thinks he does.....like, what I mean is Locke is inherently that type of character that is SUPPOSED to push buttons and straddle a line between likable and unlikable....and to be fair, that is VERY hard to pull off without at least some of the time falling on the wrong side of that line and alienating at least some readers. But there's something very genuine or sincere feeling about the character underneath all that, which is ironic for a character who is an acknowledged pathological liar and hardly ever tells the truth....like I said, its an odd one for me because I can't actually put my finger on what makes this particular character work for me when so many similar characters just bug the crap out of me.

8) Damien - from Black Sun Rising/The Coldfire trilogy by C. S. Friedman - This one is a whole fucking lie because I don't actually even like Damien that much lmao, but the thing is, I don't have a particular fondness for any of the characters in this series? But I gotta put it on the list anyway because I just love the world in this series so much, and its practically a character in and of itself. Like, so this was a science fantasy series set on a distant planet in the future but otherwise steeped in fantasy archetypes about spirit creatures that only Adepts could see, and like, Fae and life energy and sorcery that had roots in scientific principles but was otherworldly all the same. And that's like.....all literally my jam, and so I can't deny that this series was very formative for me even if its not the best example of those concepts. Its just the one I tend to go back to the most in my mind, like....the world and its characters are very standout and larger than life for me, even if they don't specifically APPEAL to me? They're impactful all the same. Its another odd one. I'm odd. You just kinda gotta roll with it. Its a thing. Its factual.

9) Yeine Darr - from The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N. K. Jemisin - This was a tough one because I love literally everything by Jemisin and all her characters are just so....ooof. They're very very real, even in the most fantastical of settings. I have mad characterization envy every time I read her stuff, but like. Its so good. So really the struggle was picking one character or even two, because I mean, The Fifth Season and its sequels are easily her best known works and have a ton of fantastic characters, and I think her Dreamblood duology is vastly overlooked but in the end I had to go with The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms even if just cuz of nostalgia. Its the first of her works and when I first started reading her and so its just.....anyway, if I was gonna go with that, it had to be Yeine, because she's so central to everything and also just....fantastic. Nahadoth and Sieh are also standout characters who get mentioned a lot in talk of this trilogy, and they're both such big personalities that at times they kinda overshadow Yeine, but Yeine has such a compelling.....undercurrent to her that she never actually gets lost in the shuffle even when surrounded by all these larger than life gods, and just. You love to see it. I do anyway. And its my list so nyah. But also if you're gonna read Jemisin, read everything Jemisin. It just makes sense, y'know? Good for the pores.

10) Cayal and Arkady - from The Immortal Prince/The Tide Lords by Jennifer Fallon - All the other Tide Lords can rot, but Cayal is hilarious in a depressing way. He's a ten thousand year old immortal whose greatest wish is just to die, which is how he meets Arkady who is a historian who just wants to like....know everything he knows once she realizes he actually is the figure of legend he professes to be and is so mad at him for not really giving a shit about all the weight of history he's been present for, but Cayal's just like, umm, I LIVED it so that's why I don't care, I'm allowed to not care, that shit hurt. Did you miss the part where one of the other Tide Lords threw a fucking meteor at me? And Arkady, distinctly unimpressed, is just like....I thought YOU did that, to Jasper. And Cayal's like, no that doesn't sound right. And Arkady's just like, you literally JUST told me that story. And Cayal's like, huh. I must have been lying. I do that sometimes. And Arkady's like, I thought you never lie, that's your whole thing? And Cayal's like, ahah, but what if THAT was a lie too? And Arkady's just like, bitch I hate you so goddamn much, how are you the worst of all the Immortals while still the only one who will actually talk to me and answer my questions. Cayal's like, we may never know.

Anyway, there's my list but like there's a lot more obviously because I'm me, I don't do moderation, its against my religion, but also I have to stop some time and the ask was for ten and those were the ten that popped into my head so they must be the right ones! Probably. Until I change my mind at least.

[parkersbliss]

Moral of the story | P. Parker

Pairing: Peter Parker X Female Reader

Type: Fluff, but ends with angst

WC: 2.4K

Warnings: Language, Peter being a meanie

A/N: italics are memories, this switches between the past and present! Chorus signifies the present.

Summary: Not every guy is as he seems, but you really thought Peter was the one. 

If you want to be tagged see here.

 Masterlist

The song can be found here, I tried really hard to post it with this, but tumblr wasn’t having it  >:(

So I never really knew you

God I really tried to

Blindsided, addicted

Peter threw his arms around you, making you jump in surprise. 

"Hey gorgeous," He said through his laugh as you swatted at him.

"Hi, handsome," You reply placing the rest of your textbooks in your locker. "What's up?"

He rests his chin on your shoulder, "I was thinking you me and some coffee?" 

It was a simple date a small gesture, but you loved spending time with your boyfriend. Peter was always thoughtful and you two spent most of your days in a coffee shop with your homework and a few pastries. 

"That sounds perfect." 

Peter waited patiently as you finish packing up for the day. His hands slipping under your shirt to rub soft circles on the skin beneath them. 

You smile as the contact, Peter was always a touchy person. When you finished packing up you slipped your hand into his and he gave your knuckles a small kiss as you strolled out of your high school. 

Felt we could really do this

But really I was foolish

Hindsight it's 

Obvious

"What's wrong?" Peter asked, flopping down on the couch beside you. 

"Just been thinking," You mused, nuzzling yourself into his arms. He places a gentle kiss on your forehead and you smile up at him.

"About?" He ventures, brushing away a few strands of hair.

"us." 

"oh my gosh, did I do something wrong? Am I too touchy? Do you not like PDA? Or pets names, because that's totally fine and I comple-"

"Peter," You said, stopping his rambling. "I love our relationship, okay?" 

"really?" 

"Yes really, I just worry."

"About? Please tell me, I want this to be perfect." 

You cup his face gently, shifting from under his arms, "it doesn't have to be perfect, Peter. That's the beauty of relationships, you make mistakes and you learn." 

He nods his head, "so what's wrong?" 

"We graduate in a year, what about college? What if we have different paths or I got to LA or something crazy like that?" 

"(Y/N), that's a year from now. Don't worry ok? We can cross that bridge when we get there. For now, let's just enjoy this." He gestures to the movie and popcorn you have laid out. "And for the record, even if you go to a different college I will still love you." 

You smile and kiss him, your hands still cupping his face as he leans into your touch, letting out a content sigh. 

"This is perfect," You whisper, giving him another sweet peck. Peter smiles at you and throws an arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to him. You cuddle back into his arms and turn your attention to the movie. 

Talking with my lawyer she said

"Where'd you find this guy?"

I said, "Young people fall in love"

"With the wrong people sometimes"

"c'mon Peter!" You giggled, dragging him by his hand into the rain. 

"You're going to catch a cold," He whines as the droplets begin to drip down his face.

"It'll be worth it. Dance with me?" 

Peter doesn't even try to deny you. Your eyes sparkle with excitement, bottom lip sticking out in a pout as your hands rub up and down his biceps. He sighs, "I could never say no to you." 

You squeal in excitement, grabbing his hands and moving them to your own beat. He begins to laugh as you swing him around, rain soaking your clothes and making your hair slick. Peter begins to twirl you, droplets flying off in a ring as your turn. He brings you back to his chest, a huge grin on his face as you laugh despite the cold. He lifts you and you squeal watching the bright lights of New York. The rain on your face is refreshing, but you can't deny the cold seeping into your bones. Peter sets you back down and runs his thumb gently over your cheekbones. Your heart hammers in your chest as his eyes roam your face and take in all your features. 

"I love you," He whispers, breath fanning over your face, but that wasn't what was causing the warm feeling inside of you. 

"I love you too."

Peter's eyes light up and he presses his lips to yours, his hands cupping your face as your rest on his wrists. He's gentle but passionate and you can feel your whole body on fire. The rain cooling you off at the same time. Without notice, he picks you up.

"You're seriously going to catch a cold." 

"still worth it." 

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

You can think that you're in love

When you're really just in pain

"You're late again." 

" 'm sorry, something came up," Peter said, sitting down next to you on the all too familiar couch. 

"Peter, this is the fifth time this week."

He turns toward you, "I know, I said I'm sorry." 

His sincerity doesn't reach his eyes, his usual eyes were full of life, but now they were void of any emotion. 

"What's going on?" 

"Nothing."

"Peter," You urged, you knew Peter and this wasn't him. 

"I said nothing, just drop it." 

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

In the end, it's better for me

That's the moral of the story babe

"I'm not dropping it, this isn't you. Something is going on and I-"

"I said drop it, (Y/N)!!" He shouted, making you flinch, but you'd had it with him. 

"I'm trying to help you! So don't yell at me." 

Peter stands up, "well maybe I don't want your fucking help. Just back off."

That hit hard, "I am your girlfriend, Peter. You can't just shut me out like that." 

His gaze is fierce, "I'll do what I please." He spat.

You run a hand through your hair, what had happened to that boy that wouldn't go so far as to raise his voice at you? Now all he did was curse you out. 

It's funny how a memory

Turns into a bad dream

When running wild turns volatile

"Parker, let's go!" You shout, waiting in the living room for him. Since you guys started dating you went on morning jogs together. 

"'m coming!" He replied, slipping on his shoes and stumbling out of his bedroom. May handed him a cup of coffee which he quickly drank, thanking her and grabbed your hand as you walked outside. 

"What took you so long?" You ask, playfully swinging his arm as you two walked to the park. 

"was up late... studying," He said hesitantly. 

You raise your eyebrows in suspicion, not believing him for a second. "Sure, I believe that."

His face goes pale, "What?" 

"I know you were up last night doing your stark internship. C'mon, Pete, you don't really think I'd believe you need studying?"

Peter laughs it off, slightly picking up his pace, "you caught me." He lets go of your hand as you both begin to jog in comfortable silence. 

"don't overwork yourself," You said, "unless you want to beat me right now." 

He wiggles his eyebrows, "Oh, it's on." Peter sends you a wink before taking off down the pathway. 

"Peter!"

Remember how we painted our house?

Just like my grandparents did, so romantic

But we fought the whole time

Should have seen the signs, yeah

"You ready?" You asked excitedly, a bright smile plastered on your face. You and Peter were going to be painting the apartment today.

"Sure," He replied, staring down at his phone.

You frown a bit, "Really? Because you're staring at your phone."

"Whatever," He grumbles, shoving it in his pocket and picking up a paintbrush. 

You didn't feel as excited as before, Peter's heart was in it. You hated that. When he only went along for whatever motive he had. Not for you. 

Panting in silence, you watch as he stares blankly at the wall. Paintbrush gripped in his hand, but no paint on it. 

"If you don't want to be here, you should've said something," You murmur.

"What?" He snaps, causing you to flinch with his tone.

"I said, if you don't want to be here you should've said something."

"What if I did? Would you have dragged me along anyway?" 

Your mouth hangs open, lost for a response. How could he think that? If Peter didn't want to be here, he shouldn't be.

"What? No of course not."

He snorts, "Sure." 

"Why are you being such a bitch lately?" You ask, annoyance in your voice. If Peter had problems he didn't need to take them out on you. Not like this, you'd been putting with him the whole week. His moods drastically changing and constantly taking his anger out on you. What went on inside that head of his? 

"I'm being the bitch? You've been the one butting in all the time and dragging me to places I don't want to be." 

You were taken back by what he said. So he acknowledges that he didn't want to be with you. Not even now. There was an aching in your chest, a dull soreness. The first sign of heartbreak. "you didn't say anything, how was I suppose to know?" 

"Of course I didn't say anything, you would've started crying."

"What the hell is wrong with you Parker?" You spat, slamming your paintbrush on the ground. Flicks of white paint covering the tarp. You could feel the tears in your eyes at his harsh words, to which he commented. "Here we go."

"Just get out, I don't need your help anyway."

"Gladly," He growled, before dropping the paintbrush on the ground and stomping to your door. 

Talking with my mother she said

"Where'd you find this guy?"

I said, "Some people fall in love"

"With the wrong people sometimes"

There was a knock on your door, you hadn't been expecting company tonight. Slowly, you pried yourself off the couch to open the door. There stood your boyfriend, Peter, with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. 

"(Y/N), hi, I'm really sorry about earlier, it's just with school and my stark internship, I've been stressed lately. I shouldn't have taken it out on you like that. You were trying to help, I'm really sorry. Please forgive me?" He asks, offering you the flowers, his eyes red bloodshot from what you presumed, crying. 

"Oh Peter," You said, guilt eating away at the broken boy in front of you. "Of course I forgive you." 

His whole face lights up as he grabs your waist and places kisses all over your face. You laugh, trying to push him away. 

"It'll never happen again, I promise." 

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

You can think that you're in love

When you're really just in pain

"For once, would you just listen to me, Parker?!" You cry, all the pent up frustration finally erupting. He's silent at that.

"You're missing our dates, you're treating me like some side chick, and you're distant, what is going on?"

"I said nothing, I don't want your fucking help (Y/N)! Can't you respect that in the least? It's like you need me to tell you everything about my life to be satisfied with yours, like if I don't tell you something your whole world falls apart because apparently, I'm keeping secrets."

That stung, tears developing in the corner of your eyes, who was he to say that? You didn't depend on him. You were getting more agitated with every word he spat, "That is absolute bullshit, I'm trying to help you. This has been going on for weeks, why can't you just tell me?!"

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

In the end, it's better for me

That's the moral of the story babe

"I don't want to, my god, let it go!"

"No, this isn't you-"

Peter cuts you off, "Cut it with the 'this isn't you bullshit' maybe you don't know me!"

"It sure as hell doesn't feel like I do, all we ever do is argue at this point. Have you ever noticed?" 

"Just drop it!" Peter tugs at the roots of his hair, a million thoughts running through his mind. Why couldn't you just drop it? He felt like you guys brought out the worse in each other. 

They say it's better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all

That could be a load of shit

But I just need to tell you all

You wrapped your arms around Peter tighter, hiding your face in his neck. Soaking his shirt with your tears. His hands rested on your back, rubbing comforting circles in an attempt to reassure you.

"I'm right here, baby. Everything is going to be okay."

You nodded your head slightly, lifting it to look at him through glassy eyes. Peter looks down at you with nothing but love in his eyes. He smiles softly before leaning down to press a soft kiss on your lips.

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

You can think that you're in love

When you're really just engaged

You're crying tears of frustration at this point, you only wanted to help him. You wanted the old Peter back, the one who loved to cuddle on the couch and show you off. "Then get out."

At that moment, it felt like someone had just slapped you across the face. Was he being serious? In the end, you knew he was, your heart had already broken for someone who didn't seem to care. Your voice was small after all the screaming, "What?"

"I can't be me with someone who can't respect my privacy."

"Are you serious right now?"

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

In the end, it's better for me

That's the moral of the story

"I realize that the longer you stay the more questions you're going to ask, you're going to be so involved in my life and I don't want that. I am my own person and you can't seem to understand that. I owe nothing to you." 

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

You can think that you're in love

When you're really just in pain

"Well, neither do I," Gathering the rest of your will, you grab your backpack and slam the door behind you. It took the last of your strength to not break down on his doorstep. 

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

In the end, it's better for me

That's the moral of the story babe

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