#this is the same dude who thinks the virus is just the flu

[waynes-multiverse]

Alex, this was amazing!! I absolutely loved this! I think I laughed throughout without pausing. Like, I was cackling vividly 😂😂

Dean:

He’s not sick. Because he doesn’t get sick. Dean claims he has the constitution of a horse, but you still take the beer out of his hand before he can take a sip at 10:00 a.m.

That already took me out. First two lines. Bravo. You've done it 🤣

I'm guessing this is post Chuck lmao

“I’m find,” he insists, even as he begrudgingly accepts the gentle pressure of your hand on his back and shoulder, pushing him down to the bed.

You know why I picked it 😝 (👏👏👏) And not the flannel and the runny nose, yikes. Loved this exchange (and callback) lol

He knows that you care about him. That you love him. But this is one of those moments where it hits him, just how much.

Took a brief second from laughing, so I could push tears out of my eyes 😭

But absolutely agree, you'd have to wear Dean down and force him into it lmao

Beau:

His coughing sneeze makes you grimace. You didn’t even know someone could sneeze and cough at the same time.

Back to laughing. My God, that was the sneeze of the century 😂😂

“Nah, can’t be sick. Gotta lot of work to do today,” he says.

Mutually exclusive, obviously 🤷‍♀️

“How long until I’m allowed out, warden?” he asks.

Seems like the man flu hasn't swallowed the charm either 🥰

He stops you by grabbing your wrist. “Hey, uh…can I have some chicken noodle soup later?” “Of course, baby. I’ll swing by the store now and get some stuff for you.” “And some saltines?”

And that's the moment I realized Beau's like my husband when he's sick 😂 (🙄)

It's like you were in my house and wrote a transcript of the last man flu epidemic of 2024 😆🤌

(PS: Real proud for finding that gif 😂)

A good add-on for Beau would be talking about his symptoms and aches... constantly loll. ("Babe, my throat is still dry and very weird right here. I googled and it says it could be laryngitis, cancer or the Marburg virus." 😂)

Ben:

Oh and then, Ben. Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben... I thought for sure he'd be the worst, like this virus is a personal attack on his virility 🤣 But I was pleasantly surprised when you brought in memories of his mother 🥹😭

“Fuck,” he groans, dragging a hand over his face before he turns onto his back.

That immediate fuck got me so hard 🤣🤣

He’s a sourpatch grumbly patient who only begrudgingly stays put in bed when you ask him to.

Ah, yes, gramps 😂🫶 (And he honestly shares that with a lot of old man in hospitals and nursing homes who have to be repeatedly told to stay in bed lol)

“Hey, sweetheart,” he calls to you from the bedroom, his voice croaking all the while. “I’m getting you a yacht for Valentine’s Day. You want it all white, or throw in a bit of gold? Actually, check out this one with the navy trim.”

*snorts* Of course the brat's online shopping for yachts 😆

“Why can’t you put some fucking steak in it or something?” he grouses. He tries and fails to hide another wet cough. “Why can’t you just eat what I lovingly made, just for you,” you snipped back.

Oh God, all their bickering was amazing! It's honestly always one of the most fun things when writing SB – the sheer frustration of the reader 😭😂🙈

And I loved the addition of Priestly!! 😍💚💙🤘 (I've been thinking of finally writing that one-shot for him lol)

“Aw, that’s still good,” he argues.

Great idea, man. Add a stomach bug to that man flu lmao

“Know what would really make me feel better?” he hedges. He tries to guide you down to him by tugging on your hand, but you resist him.

I could also totally see him turning into a Monica there 😂

“When you’re feeling better, you can ask me that question properly.”

Oh, oh, thank God! The relief I felt 😂 I mean, it's so, so sweet, but also you're very sick, dude, and germy... like, it's a lot 😆

(And I also sincerly hope there will be a proposal follow-up one-shot/drabble... maybe? 👀)

I loved this so much! You were spilling nothing but truths here! 😂💯🩵

HEADCANON: Man Flu

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader || Beau Arlen x Reader || Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader || Boaz Priestly x Reader

HC: When Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, Soldier Boy (Ben), and Boaz Priestly get sick, how would they act when you (try to) take care of them?

AN: After reading I Got You by @bettystonewell (Dean x Reader) and The Best Kind of Medicine by @lamentationsofalonelypotato (Soldier Boy x Reader), I realized that I've never actually written a sick-fic before. Here it is in headcanon form, since you guys seem to like these! lol 💜

Also adding Priestly to this lineup for the first time because some of you have been requesting more of him recently. 😉

Tags/Warnings: Established relationship, hurt/comfort, sick-fic, some needy affection-starved men who don't want to admit they're needy, lots of fluff.~

Dean Winchester

He's not sick. Because he doesn't get sick.

Dean claims he has the constitution of a horse, but you still take the beer out of his hand before he can take a sip at 10:00 a.m.

He's too busy interrupting himself, namely by coughing half a lung, wheezing, blinking teary eyes -- the whole phlegmy nine yards.

Sam shakes his head, casting you a look that frankly says, Good luck.

He knows his brother is stubborn as hell, and one of the things Dean dislikes most is being fussed over for "no reason." Being seen as weak. Not being able to just shrug his shoulders and shake it off.

To be fair, Dean tries. Except this time it's accompanied by a body shiver and a reluctant sniffle. His pallid face is drawn, and his usually strong and solid frame looks unsteady as he leans a hand on the War Room table.

"Okay, come on, Rambo. Let's get you back into bed," you say, guiding your boyfriend back to the room you share with him.

"I'm find," he insists, even as he begrudgingly accepts the gentle pressure of your hand on his back and shoulder, pushing him down to the bed.

"Sure you are, baby," you say with a smirk. "You're in the primb of libe."

Dean shoots you a narrowed look. Damn you for forcing him to binge-watch all those episodes of Friends late at night when you both can't sleep.

Right now he's Monica, trying to convince you he's in tip-top shape, while you're Chandler, just trying to get him to use tissues instead of his flannel sleeve to wipe his runny nose.

After taking his boots off, you get him to change out of his jeans and back into his sweatpants. Then you manage to get him to lay down under the covers with the promise of coming back with medicine and soup.

"I don't want soup, damn it," he grumbles. You just roll your eyes and rub his arm.

"Just rest. I'll be back with the Vicks."

As you might expect, Dean is not an easy patient.

He refuses to drink tea, but he does down the pills you bring for him, with a measured toss of his head that still makes his head swim. He groans.

He swallows a couple of cautious spoonfuls of the soup, pausing when he realizes that its warmth actually feels good down his sore and scratchy throat. It tastes pretty good too, especially with the warm, buttered slices of bread on the side.

"You made this?" he asks.

"Mhmm," you nod, smiling. If nothing else, good food will pacify this man. "Chicken and wild rice, made especially for you."

"Hmm. S' good," he nods in reply. He manages to finish the bowl.

He has to admit, if just to himself, that he does feel like shit.

He won't admit that the way you're rubbing his back, the gentle pressure of your nails between his shoulders and down his spine relaxes him, makes him feel better.

He knows that you care about him. That you love him. But this is one of those moments where it hits him, just how much.

It's a little overwhelming. A heavy swell of pressure fills his chest, so he tries not to let himself think about it for very long.

(He fails.)

After he's done eating, you take the plates away and help him back into bed. You linger there, slipping your fingers through his soft brown hair and pressing a kiss to his clammy forehead.

"I really need you to rest, okay," you say quietly. "If you need anything, just text me or Sam. Don't get out of bed."

Dean grasps your hand before you can move away from him. Since you're probably going to wash your hands anyway, he lays a kiss on the back of your hand.

"Thanks, sweetheart."

Beau Arlen

Sheriff Beau Arlen is the type to run himself into the ground because he's so damn into his work.

He wants to do well in his station of responsibility, and he feels like he has to make up for his performance during the summer madness of Buck Barnes and Avery...and everything in between.

You just have to make Beau realize that he needs to slow down, before he well and truly burns himself out.

You put your foot down one morning.

He tries to get out of bed but has to pause, his head swimming. He takes a couple of steadying breaths while sitting on the edge of the bed.

You notice with a frown. "Hey, you okay?"

"Fine. Just fine," he answers a little too breathlessly. He raises a hand to his head. His throat is sticky and coarse. He wrinkles his nose when he also feels a sneeze coming on.

"Just need a...a...mugh-ah-ha-hugh."

His coughing sneeze makes you grimace. You didn't even know someone could sneeze and cough at the same time.

"Aw, babe. You're sick," you say as you move over to him, resting a hand on his back. He shakes his head and groans.

"Nah, can't be sick. Gotta lot of work to do today," he says. His voice is like gravel blended with broken glass. It would actually be sexy, if for the distinctly un-sexy way he tries to clear the great wad of phlegm from his throat.

He tries to rock himself onto his feet, but there he sways on the landing. You hurry out of bed to grab his arm and steady him.

"Oh no, you don't. Back into bed," you say.

"Aw, sweetheart. I'll be fine--"

"No. Lay down. You're not going in today," you say more firmly, all while you tuck the man back into bed with the blankets covering him.

"All right, all right. No need to be so pushy," he can't help but tease.

It earns a small smirk on your face. It seems like his man flu hasn't yet deprived him of his sense of humor.

"I thought you liked that though," you reply. You sit on the edge of the bed and rub his chest. He groans in defeat.

"Can't believe this," he grumbles. "Today of all days--"

"There's always going to be another case. This is your body telling you that you need to slow down," you tell him. "So how about this. I'm gonna call in one of my sick days, and we'll bunker in together."

You stroke his bearded cheek. He quirks a smile, grabbing your hand and squeezing warmly.

"How long until I'm allowed out, warden?" he asks.

"Until you can stand without keeling over," you dryly reply. A smile tugs at your lips. "Remind me to stop by CVS to grab you a Life Alert."

"All right, har har haugh--" His sarcasm ends on a very real, wheezing cough. Your amused smile drops. You relent from your teasing and stroke his chest once more.

"Okay, just rest. Let me get you some actual medicine and I'll be right back."

He stops you by grabbing your wrist. "Hey, uh...can I have some chicken noodle soup later?"

"Of course, baby. I'll swing by the store now and get some stuff for you."

"And some saltines?"

"Saltine crackers on the side. Got it."

You're about to head to the bathroom to brush your teeth before you start getting ready to go to the store, but once again, Beau's needy hand stops you.

"Before you go, some tea with honey and lemon would be good. Just something for my throat," he croaks.

You smile and nod. "Yeah, for sure. That'll be better for you than coffee."

"Oh, and can you gimme that quilt over there?" he asks, pointing to your favorite knitted blanket at the edge of the bed. You graciously lay it over his form and drop a kiss onto his forehead.

"And some cough drops. Thank you, darlin'," Beau adds.

Your lips begin to press together, but you nod and continue getting dressed.

You can already tell this man is going to settle into you taking care of him just fine.

Soldier Boy (Ben)

Neither of you thought it was possible, considering his super genes that allowed him to eat and booze and drug harder than Andre the Giant and Keith Richards put together.

But one day, your over six-foot super soldier goes down hard. The warning signs came the night before, when you could hardly sleep with the way he was snoring like a grizzly bear.

In the morning, he wakes bleary-eyed with a runny nose and a coughing fit hard enough to shake the bed.

"Fuck," he groans, dragging a hand over his face before he turns onto his back. "This's gotta be some kind of bullshit hangover."

You move over to him in bed and feel the intense warmth of his clammy forehead. Your brows draw together in concern.

"No, I think you're sick."

"Not possible," he grumbles. "I haven't been sick since..."

Well, since he was a kid, probably. He won't admit it, but he's surprised he still has that memory lodged in the back of his mind.

It comes to the forefront now: your hand on his cheek unknowingly mimics his mother's gentle touch, her soft, kind voice.

"Aw, my sweet boy. Let's get you feeling better."

He can almost recall the floral scent of her perfume, echoes of it in the shampoo you use.

Ben claims he's fine, that he doesn't need your help or want the medicine and tea you bring for him. (He tries the tea, grimaces, and spits it out when you're not looking.)

He's a sourpatch grumbly patient who only begrudgingly stays put in bed when you ask him to. He doesn't mind lying around and watching movies all day, not to mention episode after episode of Below Deck. It reminds him that he wants to get back into boating.

"Hey, sweetheart," he calls to you from the bedroom, his voice croaking all the while. "I'm getting you a yacht for Valentine's Day. You want it all white, or throw in a bit of gold? Actually, check out this one with the navy trim."

You roll your eyes to yourself when you step back into the room. You're carrying a tray with a large bowl of soup and a fifth of whiskey. He claims the latter will help soothe his throat, and you don't have the heart to argue with him when he's clearly feeling so shitty.

"You mean you're getting you a yacht," you reply wryly. "We live in the city. Where the hell would we put a boat?"

"In a yacht club, where it belongs," Ben retorts. He hooks an arm around your waist and peruses what you've brought him on the tray. He doesn't look all that interested.

"Look, I know you're not exactly a soupy kinda guy, but this'll make you feel better," you say.

"Why can't you put some fucking steak in it or something?" he grouses. He tries and fails to hide another wet cough.

"Why can't you just eat what I lovingly made, just for you," you snipped back.

He rolls his eyes at your attitude, but he pipes down. In that silence, he's conceding that you have a point. There was a time were all he had to do was glance in someone's direction, and there'd be some fucking moron to fulfill his every whim.

Now, you're probably the only one in the world that would actually do what you're doing...

Cooking for him, putting your heart into it, for the simple reason that you do care.

Ben takes the bowl of soup from your hands. Raising a brow, you offer him the spoon as well.

He eats without further complaint.

You smile and reward him with a sweet kiss on his forehead, brushing his hair back as you do so.

"See? That's not so hard, huh?" you can't help but needle him. "It's okay, baby. I'll take care of you."

He eyes you dryly, but he won't admit that there's a different kind of warmth coiling in his chest.

Boaz Priestly

"Uuuughhh, babe," he groans. "I feel like death on toast."

You're standing beside the bed with a smile playing on your lips. You brush back his for once un-gelled hair back from his face. It's weird to see it all limp and lifeless, slightly damp with sweat.

"Unironically, I should make you some toast," you reply. "What kind of medicine do we have?"

Priestly unearths his head from under his pillow to look up at you with miserable red-rimmed eyes and a sniffling, stuffy nose. "Can we count the tequila in the mini bar?"

"Maybe later," you laugh. "How are we on groceries?"

Priestly struggles to think. He takes your hand and rubs it back and forth across his chest. Maybe your sweet, loving touch has the power to clear away his congestion without him needing Vicks. Too minty.

"We have that pastrami I brought back from the shop," he says.

"That's six days old already," you shake your head.

"Aw, that's still good," he argues. "But uh, other than that, I think I have half a cheeseburger left from last night."

Last night's date at TGI Friday's, he means.

You heave a sigh. "Okay, clearly I'm going to the store. You just stay in bed and rest. Drink your tea."

He grimaces like a child. "I don't like tea."

"I know you don't like tea, but you need to drink it. It's good for your throat and your immune system."

He groans and flops back over onto his stomach. You bite your lip against a smile. He's such a whiny baby when he's sick.

Talk about Man Flu.

"Come on, be a good boy for me," you say, smacking him lightly on the ass. "Soon enough you'll feel better."

A smile creeps across his face where it's pressed against his pillow.

"Know what would really make me feel better?" he hedges. He tries to guide you down to him by tugging on your hand, but you resist him.

"Oh, no. You're not gonna get your germs all over me," you say.

"Hey, what happened to in sickness and in health?" he croaks. Even while under the weather, he's still plenty strong enough to grapple with you. He manages to yank you down. Laughing, you stumble into a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Huh, I don't remember exchanging any vows. You see a ring on this finger?" you tease, flashing your bare hand in his face to try and distract him and weasle out of his grip. "I can jump this ship anytime I want."

Priestly pouts. His arm hooks tighter around your waist. "Huh, guess you got me there..."

He turns his head and coughs roughly into his arm. Your amusement fades into concern and sympathy. You lay a hand over his chest while he struggles.

Once again, he clasps his free hand over yours. He glances up a bit hesitantly into your eyes.

"Well, maybe it's time there should be something on this finger," he murmurs.

You blink your eyes wider. Your head tilts, wondering if you just heard him right. Is this delirium fever talking, or is he serious?

"O-Oh yeah?" you ask.

Priestly tries to gauge your reaction. Seeing your face break out into a cute, shy smile raises the corners of his lips. Hope blooms in his chest, right beneath your hand.

"Yeah," he says, trying to clear his cracking throat. "I mean, if you're okay with that. If it's not too soon--"

You slip your fingers over his plush, chapped lips, and your smile brightens.

"When you're feeling better, you can ask me that question properly."

AN: 😆 I hope you liked the first ever addition of Priestly!! It was so fun to try and write him again (it's been a while lol). Feel free to imagine this vignette in the same storyverse as The Miracle Man and Code Red.

But I also hope you enjoyed the "Big 3," as I call them, even though Russell is starting to give Beau a run for his money on one of those slots. 😂 Let me know which guy you had the most fun reading on this one! 💜

And if you want even more fluff before Valentine's Day, check out my friend @waynes-multiverse who just posted her set of V-Day headcanons with Dean, Soldier Boy, Beau, and Russell: Headcanon: Valentine's Day 💕

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[justforbooks]

The Stand – the original version of it, something I'll talk about later – was published in 1978. I read it 16 years after that. I can remember the time and place: on holiday in Turkey with my family. I can remember that the copy I had was already falling apart, because it was enormous, and the binding wasn't made to be opened, I don't think. The glue melted as I read the thing; page by page, it fell apart. While I knew I loved King before that holiday, afterwards I'd have followed him to hell and back. It's because of The Stand that I've read all his work, and that I embarked on this series; it's because of The Stand that I'm a writer at all. And because of all this, I don't really know where to start writing about it.

Maybe with Captain Trips. Prior to 1978, King had published three novels under his name that focused on ordinary people ruined or damaged by extraordinary (and inexplicably paranormal) situations. The Stand looked at those ordinary people – the readers of his book – and said: let's damage you all. Rather than the threat being ghosts or vampires, it was a sickness, nicknamed, in the novel, Captain Trips. The sickness was a flu that killed 99.4% of the world's population, and it's terrifying, because we all get the flu. Even as you read the novel, you feel a chill coming over you. (Trust me: I reread this partly on my morning commute, sitting next to somebody with a cough that sounded like death. It's still scary.) Because it's plausible, it affects people in a lasting way. When swine flu broke out in 2009, I lost track of the number of tweets referring to it as Captain Trips. When we're scared we joke; and we joke because of the bubonic plague, because of Spanish flu, and because it feels so wholly reasonable to imagine a virus decimating the world. Worse still? Captain Trips was made in a lab, just like those biological weapons we're all slightly terrified of. The bad guy in The Stand was made by us, and it killed us. That's hubris for you.

I call it the bad guy, but Captain Trips isn't the bad guy. Not really. That honour falls to Randall Flagg. I've mentioned him before but here's where he makes his grand entrance. He's a man of many names: The Walking Dude, The Ageless Stranger, He Who Walks Behind The Rows, The Man In Black, Walter O'Dim, The Dark Man. In The Stand, one character calls him The Antagonist, vague and present and inexplicable. He's bigger than the novel, than the world that's collapsed and torn itself apart; and he only appears when it's done, walking from nowhere, only hazily able to remember who he was before (but that he killed policemen, fought for the KKK, and helped to kidnap Patty Hearst).

Where King's previous antagonists were small fry (or protagonists flipped on their heads), Randall Flagg is never less than pure evil. He has a counterpart, as all evils should: Mother Abigail, 108 years old, who communes with God, and who is the frail good to Flagg's evil. Both have the ability to inspire those around them, but Flagg has an advantage: evil is inherently stronger. It's easier. He's able to gather an army from the weak-minded, the stragglers, finding the darkness that's in us all and using it. He brings out everything awful in those susceptible to him: in his lackey Lloyd, and Trashcan Man, and The Kid, and Harold.

Harold. Poor Harold Emery Lauder, the weakest of the weak. A boy only a couple of years older than I was when I read the book for the first time, and who – like me, as I was discovering – wanted nothing more than to be a writer. And he knew about the same things that I did: being in love with girls who didn't know he existed; wanting to be somebody that he was hopelessly ill-prepared to be; and (the bane of all teenagers) feeling singular, alone. Harold was the crux for me; he presented me with the question that makes the novel so powerful and affecting to so many people. What would I do? If I was suddenly completely alone, if I was given the ability to do anything I wanted with no consequences, would I retain my morality? Or would I, like Harold, naturally skew towards evil because of my baser – albeit human – desires? Do we all have that potential inside us?

As the novel progresses and the survivors of the flu are forced to pick sides – drawn through their dreams to the darkness or the light, to Randall Flagg or Mother Abigail – Harold shows his true colours. In the novel's early stages he is a confused, angry, horny teenager; through Flagg's influence, he loses himself. He becomes a killer, a cold-blooded mess of rage when Flagg persuades him (using sexy schoolteacher Nadine, and the promise of Harold finally getting laid) to detonate a bomb and kill his friends. After succeeding and running away, he ends his life alone, his own hands on the gun, the only time in the novel he's actually offered anything resembling control. I remember thinking how terribly sad this was, because when the book starts he's just a kid. That's easy to forget. Stu Redman feels sad for him as well, and if I most associated with Harold at times, Stu was who I wanted to become.

Why? He's noble. He's quiet and moral and even passionate, and he manages to help inspire the gang of good guys to carry on, despite Randall Flagg's dark temptations. He's the one whom Mother Abigail entrusts to go to Flagg and fight back. He's an authority figure, respected and clever, and he's willing to die for the good of the world and his friends. He doesn't: he breaks his leg, almost as if he's spared, and he watches Las Vegas explode at the novel's close; the threat eliminated, the world ready to rebuild itself. He is able to be the father to Frannie's child.

That's not an accident. Nothing in The Stand is an accident. As much as it's a novel about the battle between good and evil, it's also a novel about fate. These people – the American contingent of the 0.6% of the world's population who survived Captain Trips – manage to meet up in Las Vegas, called from all around by dreams. Did they choose to find each other, or was it chosen for them? Mother Abigail's dreams come courtesy of God; she is his prophet, and she assembles her own biblical-type followers. Pregnant Franny, whose child can assert the human race's survival; the forgiving and ailing Glen; deaf-mute Nick; mentally challenged Tom Cullen, who will save Stu Redman; Larry Underwood, who starts the novel dreaming of Flagg, and is filled with darkness, but somehow finds the light. All the cast are put upon and challenged.

I read once that The Stand was essentially the Book of Job, with the survivors in Job's place: tested by good and evil both; pushed and challenged to see how much they could endure, as if their suffering were a game. There's a little more epic fantasy here than in the Bible, maybe, and it ends not with a war, but with an accident; with the chaos of Trashcan Man finding a weapon, and with Flagg's showing off going to far. But I can still see it. Good wins by default, because evil cannot. Those were the rules in the Old Testament, and they're the rules now.

I've read this book five times in adulthood, by my reckoning, and more when I was a teenager. I know some people read books over and over, but I don't; I'm a once-round-then-shelve-it reader, unless a book really stands out to me. This is my most reread book. I can't think of one that has affected me so much. It scared me and excited me; but more than that, it was the first time I noticed the textures of a novel. The Stand is dense and rich. Every character is full and alive, and they're all in the book with a purpose. They cover every shade of human morality, and that astonished me: the deftness of King's writing in making no two feel alike, and making their deaths – because a lot of the cast die, heroes and villains both, something that almost feels inevitable from the outset – mean something. Everything in the book means something, and nothing is accidental. I can still read it and see the narrative threads, set up to be exploited, revealed or knocked down: and the hints in the subtle stylistic touches (Mother Abigail's side drawn into longer, more florid descriptions of their actions; Flagg's side blunter, more bullish, more exposed).

I don't think I can talk objectively, really.

The Stand is a masterpiece, and I don't use that word lightly. King says in the novel's introduction that he "wanted to write a fantasy epic like The Lord of the Rings, only with an American setting", and that's absolutely what he did.

Important to note, this: there are two versions of The Stand. One was published in 1978, and it's about 800 pages long, and it's set in the 1980s. Another was published in 1991, and it's about 1,200 pages long, and it's set in the 90s. The books are the same story, the same characters; content cut from the early version was put back and the book slightly remastered, as it were, for King's later, more-receptive-to-giant-novels audience. Whichever one you read it's the same book, but for the finality of a single scene at the end of the remaster: where Randall Flagg has survived the novel's endgame, reborn somewhere else entirely, new memories and a new identity, and with a new group of people to try and lead.

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[tenseoyong]

Hellooo, how are you? Hope you are safe and healthy.

So, I came across this dude on Instagram and his posts make no sense to me. And I thought 'What would liz think about it?'.

The link:

1) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNnSmzcA23J/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

2) https://www.instagram.com/p/COaVn9MgT-a/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

I see a lot people making covid-19 a life and death issue. Yes, it is but it is more than that too. My father got infected with it in the month of April this year and fortunately he escaped it alive but it effected his lungs forever. He used to walk a couple of kilometers previously but not anymore. His diabetes just makes it worse.

I hope mask hating covidiots realize this.

And this man thinks the government is turning authoritarian because it's asking us to wear a mask but at the same time let's force a pregnant woman to carry the baby to term.

You getting an abortion affects no one but you but an virus infected person refusing to wear a mask is endangering people's lives.

Sorry for the long ass post.

i hate when any man opens his damn stupid mouth.

survival rate? ok you may have a very good chance of living through it, but it’s the after effects that are going to fuck you for life, like you mentioned your father. i think it was more to do with scaring the public, wear the mask or you may die! because people (specifically americans) have this idea that just because it can happen, it’ll never happen to me. yeah old people die, but im young and healthy so im basically superman. until you’re not.

open the schools. okay, more likely to die from the flu. so how about we not sacrifice any children to potentially die for the sake of a gatcha! moment. better yet, why is it acceptable to mass infect the population with an illness that causes so many deaths yearly?

the microchip is just making my head spin stop.

lowdown’s don’t work, yeah because there’s always a few fuckers that don’t follow the rules.

i can feel every brain cell i have turning to baby food with each slide why must you torture me.

everything a man has to say about abortion is so easily dismissed if you talked to literally any pro-choice person ever.

24 week old baby. brain isn’t fully developed yet. nor are their lungs. their inner ear is just now fully developed. 65-70% survival rate. literally no person says that the fetus isn’t ‘human’ what kind of crack does he smoke?

it’s a human. at some point it’s developed enough to be called a baby. but it’s not it’s own person, it’s codepended on the birthing parent. it cannot live on its own.

i do appreciate they always include ‘disturbing’ pictures of fetuses. yeah it’s gross to look at a barely developed creature. who woulda thought.

it is, and never was about children. or saving lives. they aren’t protesting at frozen eggs being thrown out and the lives ‘wasted’. they aren’t adopting any of the children that are born and then given up after forcing women to go through birth. they don’t care about the lives of women lost from self performed abortions.

my favorite videos are the people arguing with the hecklers outside of planned parenthood—asking them what they do for the children in foster care. do you foster children? no? hm. do you donate anything to children in need? no? huh. do you volunteer your time to help children abandoned find their place in the world someone forced them into? no? oh. what are you doing to change the strict rules and expenses it takes to adopt a child, keeping many children in the system when there are families unable to provide the thousands of dollars it takes to go through the adoption route? nothing? funny. but you have all the time in the world to stand outside and terrorize people making one of the scariest and hardest decisions of their life. right.

it’s nothing but their need to control women’s bodies, and push their religious fear mongering.

[hitsharder]

Quotes by Clint — @shespy @avengerled @bowcarried @overclocks

you’re sad. I can tell ’cause you have the same looks on your faces that my teachers did whenever I raised my hand in class

I think Tasha's just embarrassed I'm not some kind of scientist who forecloses on banks.

It doesn’t matter if you know things, it matters what’s in your heart

I miss being myself. Myself was the best

Take my credit card to the hedge fund! I’ll meet you at the martini store!

You're saying a lot of words right now, and I only know some of them, like 'No!' and 'Clint,' but I know a little wisdom I can give you

I wasn't a failed leader, I was pre-successful.

Dude! We can get mythical animals? Maybe I’ll get a whale.

If you’re always frozen in fear and taking too long to figure out what to do, you’ll miss your opportunity, and maybe get sucked into the propeller of a swamp boat.

Anytime I had a problem and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! New problem

Clint: Number five is number one. Number seven is number two. Number three and number four are tied for number three.

Tony: What are you talking about?

Clint: I'm ranking my favorite Fast and the Furious movies. You said you wanted to know who I am, and this is the best way to get to know me.

She's So Pretty, Like Nala From The Lion King. And She Talks So Smart, Like, Um, Nala, From The Lion King.

Yo, You Should Listen To Me. I Came Up With Hundreds Of Plans In My Life And Only One Of Them Got Me Killed.

In Jacksonville, I Got A Flu Virus Named After Me.

[crossroadsfossil]

bnha worldbuilding: quirk related illnesses

Fuck it- world building prompts. Send a fandom and a prompt.

I had about 8 things ready to go on this but it was more a deconstruction of the lore already out there and then some extrapolation, which, as fun as that is, I am neither that well versed of a fan nor that much of a medical nerd. 

The best I really want to throw out there is that there are so many types of illnesses that we could play with: Stress illnesses from repeated use, quirk exhaustion, how the human body reacts to quirks it’s not compatible with and the mental health issues alone.

I’ve read amazing fic that already deals with such things and wonderful trope-y ones that deal with the idea of having a quirk that promotes illness in others. 

Buuttttt those are all very serious and I’d rather touch on something a bit more mundane. 

How the fuck would the common cold react to quirks? How would common childhood illnesses react? How would known killers of humanity adapt? Are there viruses that target specific quirks more due to genetic structures?

For the common cold: Imagine there being sub-variations for those whose baseline temperatures are not base-human standard? Those with colder baseline temperatures could be more or less sensitive to the common flu (which tends to thrive in colder temperatures, I think). Those with higher temperatures might get sick less. Those who have extreme heteromorphic qualities (Kouda?) might be immune to most forms of illness altogether, depending on if bacteria/virus can hijack their DNA like with most humans. 

 The common cold mutates enough as it is with all of us sharing like the same 99% of DNA. Adding quirks into that mess would either result in things mutating even faster... or things mutating even slower. 

For shits and giggles, let’s pretend that it doesn’t do either. It just goes six cha-cha slides to the left. Illnesses that mutate at the same rate but absorb some of the weirdness of quirks. 

You get one asshole with the ability to breathe fire and BAM. They get sick and pass it on and now everyone is coughing sparks because something just clicked right with the genetics of this dude and this bacteria and as long as you’re genetically human, congrats. You are now coughing some variation of sparks/smoke/flames/etc. You have the Pepper Up Cough. 

Here’s another idea. 

Chicken Pox. Common childhood illness in the west, or it was when I was a child. I remember it sucking and well, let’s give BNHA its version of chickenpox. Feather Pox. As in you sprout feathers instead of pox and well. Hawks said it takes his feathers like, two days to regrow so it can be extrapolated from there that human-feathers can grow quick. So. Childhood Feathers Pox. 

Also, imagine how many kids would be devastated that they weren’t getting wings after they recover from feather pox? If I suddenly had feathers as a kid I’d a) be so ready to learn to fly and b) make so many tarred and feathered jokes, because I was that sort of child. It probably would maybe makeup for all the itching. 

Last quirk related illness- but lets go with a chronic one: Diet deficiencies. Permanent issues due to not getting specific things in your diet. A lot of quirks are said to rely on things ingested (Tamaki, Fat Gum, Yaoyorozu, Tenya???). 

Besides that, when growing, you need a lot of things to just make a healthy human. It’s why a lot of processed food and products are supplemented with things (again, in the west as I’m USA based and we have shit in everything). For example, you miss getting enough folic acid during fetal development and well, neural abnormalities and issues with blood cells. There’s a bunch of little things like that for your standard base human. 

Now add whatever quirks will need into that mix. This would probably be one of the more horrific things to consider in this universe- even if you did everything right, you could miss something for your child if it’s a part of their quirk. Have a baby that will one day develop a quirk that can grow iron fingernails? Haha sucks to be you and them if you didn’t each iron-rich foods during pregnancy and what should have been a fingernail growing quirk is now a ‘missing all their keratin and it’s only partially replaced by iron’ quirk. Because guess what also is partially comprised of keratin?  epithelial cells. Guess where those are? According to the internet, they ‘line the inside and outside surfaces of the body. Keratins help form the tissues of the hair, nails, and the outer layer of the skin. They are also found on cells in the lining of organs, glands, and other parts of the body‘.

Yeah. As someone who has a connective tissue disease, this sounds creepily similar and really fucking horrifying. 

Let’s give this quirk-related, often prenatal issue a name. We’ll call it the Gen1 disease, or maybe just Qingqing/Q_Q disease, as the first generation to present quirks probably had to deal with this (and I would bet money that glowing baby probably had some serious health issues due to shining light all the time). So Q_Q disease is probably still around, and it’s probably a poverty disease because testing shit in-utero is expensive unless you live in a society that gives a flying fuck about bearers. 

Basically, Q_Q would just be a new variation of Rickets and other similar diseases. Anyone else getting Oliver Twist feels all of a sudden? 

So, I’m going to leave it here on this thrilling and positive note. Three fun ideas of what illnesses in BNHA might look like and the fact that I am, for one, very glad I am not a manga/anime character in this universe, even though the idea of Featherpox sounds Freaking Hilarious. 

[acklest]

I. The Virus

LIBRARY.

DEAN: So it's not a demon thing, like a... a Croatoan thing? SAM: Dude, I've looked for all the signs that would prove this was a demon thing or an angel thing or any other kind of monster thing, and they're not there. I mean... I think it's just a virus. DEAN: Awesome. So a virus is out there killin' people and we just, what... SIT AROUND? SAM: *wryly* You know, there HAVE been non-monster viruses now and then. Swine flu, Ebola... DEAN: *sullenly* I don't like it. SAM: *mock sympathetic* I know it frustrates you when you can't punch or kill something. DEAN: Oh, bite me. SAM: *standing up to stretch* I'm hitting the hay, man. I'm beat. DEAN: *turns the laptop around and reads what's on the screen* SAM: Don't stay up all night reading about this shit, you'll make yourself crazy. *walks away* DEAN: *to himself* Still pretty sure Ebola was a demon thing. SAM: *from the hallway* We never proved that!

THE NEXT MORNING.

DEAN: *in the same place where Sam left him, staring at something on the screen with glassy eyes* SAM: Seriously? *walks around to see what Dean is looking at* Oh. You're watching a movie, I thought you were binging on — *watches the movie for a few seconds* Is this —? You're watching Outbreak. Okay. *confiscates the laptop* Dean: HEY!

II. The Virus is Stateside

NEWS VIDEO: Health officials advise a distance from others of at least six feet. SAM: *scoffs* Yeah, that'll help. DEAN: *sitting approximately four inches away* What, like it can go a little over five feet, but six feet is right out? That's stupid.

*****

DEAN: *bent down, examining the bunker's open door while wearing a 50s-era black respirator over his face* SAM: *already exasperated* What are you doing? DEAN: *muffled grumpiness* SAM: The door seal is fine, the way you're checking it is probably making it worse. DEAN: *muffled denial, offended gestures* SAM: I SAW you pulling on the seal when I walked up. You're overreacting anyway. DEAN: *muffled thoughtful tone and rising inflection* SAM: Don't turn this into a project just because you think the mask is cool. DEAN: *standing, amused tone* SAM: No, you look like an idiot, you're probably letting who-knows-what into the bunker — DEAN: *turns back to the open door* SAM: And since that mask is like a hundred years old, you're probably breathing in asbestos. DEAN: *hastily removes it from his face, and holds it far away with two fingers* Ugh. Surprised you could even hear me in this damn thing. SAM: I couldn't. *walks away* DEAN: *confused, then annoyed, tosses the mask at the floor*

****

SAM: *watching a video on his computer of panicked shoppers in a Wal-mart* DEAN: *watching over his shoulder* Yep. "Dumb panicky dangerous animals", right on time. SAM: You know, with all the news reports, I'm kinda surprised YOU'RE not out there trying to buy up everything. DEAN: *drawing back* What the hell for? SAM: *gestures at the screen* Because we'll need some supplies? DEAN: *laughs incredulously* Okay, listen, at any give time, there is enough shelf-stable food in this place to hold us for four months. SAM: *dryly* I bet, all the beer and bacon we'll ever need. DEAN: No, SMARTASS, I'm talking beer, bacon, soup, coffee, dried meats, pasta, rice, dehydrated milk — SAM: *hands up defensively* Okay, I'm sorry I even — DEAN: — big jugs of water, hand sanitizer, first aid stuff, your stupid fruity shampoo — SAM: Okay, I get — DEAN: I brought a bread-maker. A BREAD-MAKER, SAM. Do you know why? SAM: ...to make bread? DEAN: *slaps his hand down on the table, then points at the screen* 'Cause whenever any kind of shit hits the fan, THIS happens. That woman just bit the other woman on the FACE over toilet paper. ON THE FACE! These yahoos freak out and it can get people killed. SAM: Not to mention bitten. DEAN: *glares* It's called a contingency plan! SAM: Okay, I get it, you planned for something like this. That's awesome. DEAN: *walks away muttering* "Because we'll need supplies"... we live in a BUNKER.

****

DONNA: *over speakerphone* You kids okay? Dean wasn't answering and I got a little worried. Did I call the wrong phone? I didn't want to abuse throwing up the bat signal, but with all that's going on... SAM: No, I'm sure you... called the right one. Dean's been, uh — you know, since they said that there were some people diagnosed in New York, he's been... [internal: batshit crazy] ...preoccupied. DONNA: I tell you, I'm jealous of the grocery store he put in that place. Almost lost an eye this morning just trying to buy a can of cinnamon rolls! They're not even shelf-stable. SAM: *brow furrowed* Uh, yeah, he — he made a good call with that. DONNA: Hey, can you put him on the phone? I just wanna say hi. DEAN: *walking purposefully down the hall, wearing goggles, a red bandanna over the lower half of his face, with a rope over one arm, duct tape in one hand, and a what appears to be a makeshift flame thrower* SAM: Oh god. *to Donna* Hold on for just a — DEAN?! What are you doing? DEAN: *distantly* CONTINGENCIES! SAM: *to Donna* Dean is either about to set something in the ventilation system on fire or... or maybe rob a train. I'll call you back.

*****

DEAN: *wearily* I thought there might be something wrong with the ventilation. SAM: Yeah, I get that. But you’re not getting the flame thrower back. You can keep your stupid rope, though. DEAN: *looking down at the rope* Was that Donna on the phone? SAM: Yeah, she was worried about you because she called and you didn't answer. DEAN: Was gonna call her back but — *looks up* Wait, is she alright? SAM: *smiling* Besides almost losing an eye when she tried to buy a can of cinnamon rolls, she's doing fine. DEAN: *furrowed brow* A can of cinnamon rolls? SAM: I know, they're not even shelf-stable. DEAN: Right?!

III. The Virus is in Kansas

SAM: Dean, you're not even high risk. You don’t have respiratory issues or underlying health stuff. Even if you DID catch it, you wouldn't die. DEAN: *relaxes slightly* SAM: I mean, not from the virus at any rate. DEAN: *glares*

****

GARTH: *over speakerphone* How are y’all holding up? No fever, no sniffles? SAM: No, we've been staying inside, washing our hands, the whole bit. GARTH: How's Dean taking it, with his uh — SAM: *looks around and listens to make sure Dean isn't nearby* They just identified a couple of cases in the state and he is LOSING it. GARTH: *laughs* Yeah, I figured he wasn't going outside for awhile. SAM: That's the thing. He DESPERATELY wants out of here. He NEEDS to get out of here. I know the look. GARTH: But outside is — SAM: Right. GARTH: So you're dealing with a recluse who has cabin fever. SAM: *huffs* Welcome to my world. GARTH: Full hazmat gear, spraying you with hand sanitizer? SAM: *hastily takes the call off speakerphone* Please don't tell him that they come in sprays. GARTH: *laughs* He won't hear it from me. Well, at least you guys don't have to go shopping, huh? Not with that big supply cache of yours. SAM: You know about that? GARTH: He sent me some pictures when he started a few months back. It's crazy organized. We're thinking of doing something like that ourselves. SAM: Yeah it's... it's something else. GARTH: You should TRY to get him out of the house. Maybe if he sees a little bit of the outside, he'll realize it's not like 28 Days out there. SAM: *mentally adds that movie to the “NO” list* If I can manage to talk him into it. GARTH: Well, I'll let you go. Tell Dean I said hey and you two try not to kill each other for once. SAM: *smiling* Nice. GARTH: *pause* Oh god, why did I say "for once", I don't know where that — I just mean, don't go crazy or — oh god, I'm just gonna hang up.

*****

KITCHEN.

SAM: I don't think you need to wear the mask inside. DEAN: *through mask* You coughed this morning. SAM: I choked on some toast, Dean! It was ONE COUGH. DEAN: All I'm sayin' is, you weren't coughin' before, then you go out and now — SAM: I only went out because you wouldn't shut up about the masks! DEAN: I didn't mean GO OUT, in all that — *vaguely gestures at the outside world* I meant it would be good to have some if we HAD to go out. SAM: *hopeful* So now that we have them, you might go out? DEAN: Why the hell would I do that? SAM: You just said — DEAN: HAVE to go out, Sam! HAVE to. SAM: Dean, I promise you, it's really not that bad. Take the stupid thing off, at least in here. DEAN: *firmly* No. SAM: *closes book loudly* Okay. *reaches across to pull the mask off one of Dean's ears* DEAN: Hey! Don't touch the face! SAM: *sees that there's a second mask underneath the first one* Seriously? DEAN: CONTINGENCIES!

*****

JODY (over text): You boys sheltering in place? SAM: all locked down SAM: what about you guys? JODY: We're all socially distant here JODY: And a couple of us are emotionally distant just to be on the safe side JODY: But the wifi went out yesterday and I thought there'd be blood on the floor SAM: well at least we still have internet SAM: for now at least JODY: And like a million books JODY: And the grocery store Dean put in can't hurt either SAM: he told you about that? JODY: Told me? He sent me a three minute video tour SAM: *eyeroll* JODY: He's so proud it's cute JODY: Not like "I killed Hitler" proud but it was up there

*****

SAM: *knocks on Dean's door* It's like, noon, dude. *starts to push the door open* Even for you that's — *looks at the made-up bed* Damn it. SAM: *loudly addressed to the entire bunker* Dean?! *to himself* Oh god, don't tell me he went back up to the ventilation. DEAN: *distantly* In here. SAM: *walking towards the sound to the "war room" of the bunker, which is dark* Dean? DEAN: Quit yelling, I'm right here. SAM: *hits the lights* DEAN: *blinking and wincing at the map table, eight books around him* Dude... SAM: Why are you sitting here in the dark? DEAN: *defensively* The table lights up. SAM: That doesn't mean it's — whatever. What are you doing in here? DEAN: Well... *starts to rub his face but looks at his hand and drops it back to the table* I was thinking, this thing runs on some kind of network right? SAM: The bunker? Yeah. DEAN: So this place is protected from bombs, nuclear fallout, tornadoes... and "other environmental concerns", whatever the hell that means. SAM: *smiles* Not very comprehensive. DEAN: Right. Environmental, is that germs? Could that mean germs? SAM: That would probably be under something like "biological concerns." I don't think "germ warfare" was big on the priority list at the time, or at least there wasn't much they could do about it. DEAN: *sleepily* I guess not. SAM: *picking up one of the books* These are like... old programming books. DEAN: Yeah... I thought maybe I could figure out how to make adjustments to the ventilation so that maybe it was... I don't know, more strict? Granular? I don't know, man. SAM: Is there a way to do that? DEAN: *dry laugh* Oh sure. SAM: One where we don't suffocate and die? DEAN: Not so much. SAM: That's what I thought. *picks up another book* FORTRAN? COBOL? Dean, no one under 80 years old knows either of these. DEAN: That's not true, there's YouTube tutorials. SAM: *stares at him* DEAN: I'm not sayin' they were helpful. I'm just... sayin'. SAM: *flips through another* Dean, this one's written in Cyrillic. DEAN: Hadn't gotten to that one yet. It'd probably make about as much sense as the others. At least COBOL has like... words. SAM: So your plan was to sit here for hours and hours, in the dark, in your stupid pajamas — DEAN: *glances down at pajamas, hurt* SAM: — to try and tweak something that was obviously built as a closed system to prevent exactly what you were planning to do, that may even run partially on MAGIC — DEAN: What the hell else am I supposed —? SAM: —  With no programming know-how of any kind, you were just gonna sit here all night until you learned a programming language from the 1950s? DEAN: *mumbling* Does sound kinda like bullshit when you lay it all out. SAM: It IS bullshit! DEAN: Whatever. Man, I'm just saying... if this place starts to malfunction, I won't have any idea what to do. None. And then the MoL are SoL, dude. SAM: *rolling his eyes* Okay, get up. We have to get you out of here, just for a few minutes. DEAN: What? Go out there?? SAM: Yes. Wear your mask, wear seven masks, but we have to get you out of here before you make us both crazy. DEAN: No. SAM: Look, when you go out there, you'll see that it's not that bad. Just a few minutes, dude. Down the road! You won't even have to get out of the car. DEAN: No? SAM: No. *puts his hand out to help Dean up* But you should sleep first, you look like you're about to fall over. DEAN: *slaps Sam’s hand away and gets up by himself* Fine. SAM: *smirks* "The MoL are SoL"? How long have you had that one on tap?  DEAN: *grins* A couple of weeks now.

****

DEAN: *in his dead guy robe, trying not to fall asleep over his cup of coffee* SAM: Still can't sleep, huh? DEAN: *without opening his eyes* Don't wanna throw off my sleep schedule. SAM: Dude, you HAVE no sleep schedule. DEAN: Can you give me like... a half-hour before you start nagging me? SAM: I'm not nagging you! I just... So I just got off the phone with Jesse... DEAN: *opening his eyes* New Mexico Jesse? Are those two alright? SAM: They're just fine, they're out in the back of beyond. They were already doing the social distance thing. DEAN: *closing eyes again* Good. SAM: But Jesse asked me if you had worked out the cooling issue with your... supply... grocery thing, and... I've never seen it. DEAN: I wasn't gonna show you until it was done. SAM: But you sent the pictures or whatever to like, every number in your contacts. DEAN: Well they don't have to live off of it, but you do, so you can see it when it's done. SAM: Well... technically... Garth sent me a picture, so I have... kind of seen it already. DEAN: *opening eyes again, cursing under his breath* SAM: So show me what all the fuss is about. DEAN: *sighs* Alright, fine. *pushes his chair back from the table* But there's one last thing I need to do, so don't judge it yet. DEAN: *walks farther down the hall to a room marked "Cold Storage", looks hesitantly at Sam, then squares his shoulders to open the door and hit the lights* Go on. SAM: *walking inside* Cold storage? Isn't this where — Whoa. *looks at neatly organizes metal shelves, upon shelves, upon shelves, a colorful display of beers, and three freezers along the back wall* Dude. DEAN: *a little proud, rests against one of the freezers with his arms crossed* I mean, it's a bunker, so it's stupid that we just had bread and ground beef and milk in the fridge, you know? The room was just sitting here, might as well use it. SAM: *smiles a little at the bread-maker on one shelf with some bread next to it and snags a piece, chews for a moment, then spits it out* Oh my god, that's the driest thing I've ever tasted. DEAN: *offended* I'm a beginner! SAM: Right. Sorry. *looks around* What's not done? DEAN: *gestures at a back corner with an empty table* I'm gonna try to set up some lights in here and try to grow some vegetables, maybe one of those big fans. You just grow them in big pots and I wanted there to be like, a tomato or a carrot before you saw it. *grins wanly* Can't stock up on four months worth of salad for your dumb ass, so... SAM: *laughs* Yeah, guess not. Dude, how long did this even take? DEAN: Started a few months back, just working on it a little bit at a time. Wasn't gonna use the freezers because, you know, corpses were in there, but buying those suckers new is expensive. These still seemed to work fine, so I just cleaned them. *frowns slightly*  Like a few times. SAM: It looks awesome. DEAN: Cooling system thing took awhile. I mean, fine for corpses, but not for long-term freezing. *yawns* Then there was too MUCH cooling so that was a mess. Had to rewire some of the outlets for voltage after I did that. *yawns again* There was already a generator set aside for this room, but a couple of weeks back, I set up a back-up generator that runs independently so if we... SAM: *turns away from the shelves* So if we what? DEAN: *chin resting on chest, snoring softly* SAM: Great. Why can’t this ever happen near like, a couch or a bed? 

IV: The Virus is in Lebanon. Maybe.

SAM: So, we got you outside, and into the car. This is progress. Baby steps. DEAN: *wearing multiple masks in driver's seat* Let's just do this so you'll shut up about it and I can get back into the bunker. SAM: Still don't think you need all the guns though. DEAN: Pffpt. SAM: See, we'll just go up the street, into town. Just a few miles. DEAN: Stow it, Mr. Touchy Feely. Let me do this. SAM: *mocks gently* Okay, at your own speed. DEAN: *glares and eases the car out onto the road* SAM: See? No bodies lying in the streets, no boarded-up storefronts, it's just something that's going on and some people are dying, and that sucks, but most people are just — *gestures at some people walking down the road* Dealing with it, see? DEAN: Oh, you mean those assholes THAT ARE IN A GROUP? Roll down your window. SAM: Are you serious, you just — DEAN: ROLL IT DOWN! SAM: *rolls eyes, rolls down window* DEAN: *to the people walking* HEY, NO GROUPS! SAM: *tries to roll up the window* I'm not sure three people counts as — DEAN: Did that dude just SNEEZE? He's not wearing a mask! SAM: Dean, don't... DEAN: *yelling to the guy from Sam's window* HEY! DID YOU JUST SNEEZE? GUY: For the last time, I have allergies! DEAN: Yeah right, YOU'RE GONNA GET US ALL KILLED! SAM: *quickly rolls the window up again* DEAN: No, don't roll it up, I still — *looks out his own window* Are these two assholes MAKING OUT? SAM: Dean... no, okay, I was wrong, this was a bad idea. You were right, let's go back to the bunker. DEAN: What? No, no one's out here like monitoring these people??? If I'd known that I would've been out here weeks ago. *rolls down his own window to yell at the lovebirds* HEY! THAT'S NOT SIX FEET! SAM: *sinks down as far as he can into the passenger seat* Oh god.

Brochester Hijinks Masterlist

[shelooksupgrinninlikeadevil]

Good morning! Everyone should probably read this and just mentally prepare for discomfort after receiving the COVID-19 vaccine. I say this because there is no way to get things back to "normal" until a large portion of the population is vaccinated. When most of the population is vaccinated the virus will not be able to be transmitted (passed around) as quickly.

Why will the vaccine hurt, you ask? Doesn't this mean it's making me sick? Why should I take it if it will make me sick?

If you want some answers, from someone who is educated in how vaccines work, and who's certified to teach high schoolers biology, keep reading!

A vaccine is made of little chopped up or dead pieces of the virus. Good news!!! There is no way that a chopped up piece of virus can make you legitimately sick! Picture this, you're trying to punch someone in the face, but someone else cuts your arm off before you can reach your target. Well, now you can't punch anyone anymore! Your arm can't punch anyone all but itself. But... That doesn't mean that the person you were going to punch doesn't feel some "discomfort" at witnessing such a scene! (I mean hey they were saved from a broken nose though... And they don't have to go to the hospital!! Extreme example, I know, but best I could come up with at the moment lol)

These chopped up bits of virus are sent into your system (via a vaccination shot). As soon as this happens, your bodies defenders against viruses, white blood cells, start gobbling up the bits of virus. These cells get all amped up and start multiplying. "Hey!! We got a piece a virus ova here!! Gonna need some back up!!". And that's when you can feel some muscle soreness and stiffness.

The goal of this process is to coerce your immune system into creating a memory B-Cell (one of the many types of immune cells) that is specifically honed in to the COVID-19 virus. If your body creates this super specific memory B-Cell (and in this case, it'll take two rounds of vaccine to get there) that new memory B-Cell will offer protection against COVID-19!!

Picture memory B-Cells as the best sniper in the armed forces. Anything they aim at, they hit. Take it out. No more threat. Your body has a super sniper memory B-Cell like this for EVERY virus you've ever encountered, so you won't get sick with the same thing twice!!! That memory B-Cell cruises around your system, just waiting for that virus to come back!! And when it does...??? "BAM. YOU'RE DEAD VIRUS DUDE. THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA HARM MY HUMAN??? HAH! I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER." before you even have the chance to FEEL sick!!!

(But why can I get the flu twice..? Because the flu virus mutates! So technically, your system is not seeing the same exact virus again! So it needs to go through the memory B-Cell creation process for that PARTICULAR version of the flu that you were exposed to! This is why you should also get a flu vaccine every year, it introduces your body to more versions of the flu virus so there's less of a chance to get sick! Of course a whole different mutation of the flu could happen, and even with a vaccine there's still a chance you could get sick, but hey why not? Stronger immune system with temporary discomfort, and a lower chance of getting the flu?? Sign me up!)

How incredible is this???? Your body has a built in defense mechanism that has been honed over millions of years to best protect you!! I mean just THINK about how many viruses and germs and bacteria you've come across (and how many you were vaccinated for!).... And you have a memory B-Cell for every single one!!!

This is why I love immunology so much. It is fascinating. And it's been studied, and studied, and studied, buy a lot of people who are way more brilliant than you and me. I have some friends that are studying immunology right now! And I got the pleasure of learning immunology from a man who's trying to CURE OVARIAN CANCER WITH IMMUNE SYSTEM CELLS. Like wow, doesn't get much better than that.

I took all this time to type this out because I believe that it's really important that people understand their bodies and how they work, so that you can make the best and most informed decisions for your health, and not be suceptible to fear tactics and misinformation. Yeah, someone could just say "Hey. Take the damn vaccine or else." Or you can understand what's going on inside of your body when you take a vaccine, and understand why you might have some aches and pains after taking one. I'm a teacher, so naturally I'll prefer the second option.

Thank you so much for reading if you got this far! Please feel free to share this far and wide! The best way to combat fear and misinformation is understanding and empathy. Teach someone something new today!

[sheikah]

I was absolutely disgusted because my family had a barbecue because they were ‘tired’ of the virus and while discussing - they talked about how they think the government is lying about the high number of people who have died and have just put ‘anyone’ on the death toll. As I’ve studied medicine in History and did the Spanish Flu I tried explaining about how secondary conditions are caused by covid, but they ignored me and talked about conspiracy theories like 5G towers and labs instead. 🤡

Sounds like we have basically the same family lol. I love them, I do. But Fox News is gospel as far as they’re concerned and it isn’t helping with pandemic response. Everyone is going maskless like it’s some kind of badge of honor. Huge gatherings. Stores restaurants and bars absolutely full. It really is dumb. Our city is experiencing a surge of new cases right now and our mayor is pretending it’s not happening lol. He really said, “The only reason we’re seeing a surge in cases is because we have more testing capabilities now.” Um... duh? What does that have to do with anything? Those cases still...exist? Like this dude, this poor dude, he has just the one brain cell and it’s been on vacation since like 2015. It’s to the point where he had to issue a retraction, during which he said he only made the dumb statement about covid because he had “just given blood on an empty stomach and was feeling out of it.” Ok dude, lol.

[lisinfleur]

Normal flu kills more than this new one. Subways are crowded, BRT are crowded, train, funk parties etc etc, why a walk against corruption is forbidden? The president is blamed by everything. If it rains is his fault, if its sun it's his fault. What did you want him to do? Send people home? He is not disgusted by poor people as Pt and Psol robbers are. Stop being manipulated, stealers are without public money, traffickers pissed, yet people get lied to and believe. Pure doctrinally.

AND STOP WATCHING GLOBOLIXO, you're smarter than trust a television channel that stole billions!!!! First of all, Sars-COV-2 (which is this coronavirus, that’s not the first of the class corona we have ever seen, btw) is a new disease. Let me tell you how you make statistics, love (no irony included here ok?): Normal flu is here for years. Covid-19 just arrived and we already have the great majority of the countries in the world being affected with crescent numbers of infected people and dead people around. Normal flu comes and goes. Normal flu is treatable and we know how to do it. Covid-19 is killing crowds and we don’t even know what to give to its patients so, I think normal flu is not the moment thing to be worried about uh?Second, I don’t watch Globo cause I don’t even have a television in my house. It’s not something interesting for me: it stopped being when I started to get informed by myself using the internet and other sources of information - usually, not Brazillian, btw. The reference graphic is really coming from Globo because it’s all over the internet, but you can find other sources of information if you want and if you don’t want to go for the press - which is a good idea, btw - try to talk with people around the country and you’ll see how many cases are being undercovered by the Healthy Ministery in order to keep the numbers low. 

But that’s not a thing, right?

Well, BRT, subway, train, are crowded indeed - because people have to work. And they shouldn’t be, btw, but they are because the government still didn’t take all the measurements necessary to keep the majority of the population isolated and avoid this kind of overloading, but in this case, we have to wait. It’s not possible to stop the country at once indeed. But funk parties, clubs, bares, restaurants, AND A STUPID WALK, IN CROWDS, FOR ANY REASON, are all the same for me: stupid people not respecting the quarantine period and going out for reasons that don’t worth the lives they’re risking. Want to make something against corruption, go to your window, put a plaque, scream, hit your pans, go to the sites of public research and vote against the corrupt politicians’ projects, think properly instead of voting like shit, study and speak with the people you love to teach them how to vote instead of reelecting the same corrupt people for a bag of basic food every four years... Do not go outside with hundreds of people against the law to speak against the ones who are committing crimes. That’s counter-productive, dude. You guys were breaking the decrees against agglomerations - a.k.a. going against the LAW - risking dozens of citizens just to yell words like “AI-5″ or “Military intervention, please”?? What the fuck!

Go home and study some history about the military dictatorship in Brazil and how awful it was for you guys to be asking it to come back! This is not “a walk against corruption” this is just something stupid. At all.

In one thing we agree, my friend. PT, PSOL, P-whateveritis, they’re ALL flour of the same sack of dirt: the politics in Brazil are full of shit, bribe, assholes, and motherfuckers who aren’t really giving a damn if you’re outside risking your life to catch coronavirus, spread it all around and yell some words of order. Just like Lula, Bolsonaro, Maia, Olavo de Carvalho, Dilma, all of them should be locked behind bars, getting rotten, and setting our country free. 

We agree that our country is rotten to the core and that something NEEDS to change. But Bolsonaro is not different from them - Lula is outside thanks to his fear to have his son in jail because of the second instance shit. His sons are sunk to the neck in dirt and he, himself, did nothing as a deputy such as he’s doing nothing but go against the medical recommendation of isolation to spread the virus to which he can be an asymptomatic transmitter all over his people. He’s irresponsible and did nothing really good since he was elected and I don’t really think he has mental conditions to do anything good for us at all. 

Once again: all flour of the same sack. 

Yes, I wanted him to send people home. It would have been sensate and I would have supported his decision if he had come out to the social media and even the mainstream media to speak to his people and tell them to stay home, or even to make the protest they wanted from home, to yell from their windows, to extend Brazil flags like mantles over their houses, BUT AT HOME. It would have been the right decision for a leader who knows we live in a continental country with millions of people that will soon be the victim of his ignorance. 

Coronavirus is not Bolsonaro’s fault - it would be stupid to blame him for this. But all the people who contracted it during those manifestations are sick because of him. And all the people who will contract this virus from the ones who were outside that day, are his fault. Because he doesn’t speak like a leader. He doesn’t care about his people. And THAT’S his problem for me. I wouldn’t mind living in a country where I’m not a supporter of my president, my friend. I’m not a crybaby who cannot accept someone I don’t like ruling my country. But this man is not a leader not even for you guys. He doesn’t represent even the people who follow him. I’m not the onde being manipulated in here.I hope you read this to the end. It was not a rant, it was really an answer and I really wish more people could try to get informed or understand that we against him, at least ME against him is not Lis who dislikes Bolsonaro or PTista Lis. Far from me. It’s just me, tired of PT, PSOL, PSDB, P-Putaquepariudequatro and all the other Ps around my Brazil, stealing from us, promising things that never come and doing like Bolsonaro and many others before him, did. Unlike what you guys think, I am the one who doesn’t have a favorite politician or, in Bolsonaro’s words: “Eu não tenho político de estimação”. NONE of them. None of them are salvable at this point.I just hope his government’s mistakes along with Dilma’s before him, and Lula’s before him can show to this whole continental place that we NEED to change, because Right, or Left... There is no right side in this war.Have a nice day, love. And stay safe.

[kelleyish]

What’s up, tumblr? I’m still alive, which isn’t an unnecessary platitude these days. I keep intending to make updates, and I’ve started posts like three times in the last week but never managed to finish them, so this time I’m doing it. 

So yes, I continue to live and not be sick so far, I guess? I will say there have been many times over the last couple weeks I’ve felt off due to what is probably seasonal allergies, but my brain sure likes to make me worry I’ve got Corona. Today, in fact, I got cold midday and I was like, “Oh shit, are the chills coming on? Better feel my forehead, is it hot??”

Sigh.

I didn’t get chills, btw, I was just cold. I keep telling myself more than likely if you get it, it hits you the way a flu does where your whole body just immediately feels like shit, and that certainly hasn’t happened. 

All of this has instilled a healthier fear of the virus than I had, for example, a week ago. For the first couple weeks I was leaving the house daily, sometimes to drop off eBay packages at the post office, but mostly as an excuse to stuff my face with food. I was hitting drive thrus and making trips into Walmart just for junk food, trying to be as careful as possible with keeping my hands clean and everything, but still taking unnecessary risks just to eat food I shouldn’t be eating in the first place.

This week I curbed that urge and haven’t been going out nearly as much, but I’m sorry to say I’m still managing to eat junk I shouldn’t be eating. I was good for about two days, but when I had to go to Walmart yesterday I stocked up on more illicit junk. (Also I would like to say that carrot cake flavored Oreos are very disappointing. I rarely enjoy any of the special flavors, and I don’t even like double stuff ones. Original only, dunked into milk until they get soft.)

The gov’t has now given the suggestion for wearing facemasks when going shopping, and I was actually going to Walmart yesterday for supplies for my mom to make some homemade ones, which meant I didn’t have one to wear for the trip. Probably half the people in the store were wearing them though, and I felt kind of bad for not having one. I tried to hold my breath when I passed people in the aisle.

I’d heard some Walmarts were instituting one-way aisles in the store, but our local one only had the entrances and exits separated, the inside of the store was normal. 

My mom finished one mask today and I tried it on. I guess it might make me feel slightly better mentally, but I hate actually wearing masks. They’re so hot. It’s like trying to keep the blanket over your head in bed, breathing recycled hot air, yuck. There’s also a lot of people claiming anything but the actual medical grade surgical facemasks don’t do much anyway, but I will still be wearing one on future shopping trips because it feels better than absolutely nothing, I guess.

Let’s see, what else? Oh, I got an email from the dude I embarrassingly asked out last year, but only as a business marketing thing because the reason I met him is because his company did work on my house. It was just a thing basically asking for referrals and saying they’re still available to do work and can do everything while keeping up the social distancing thing. But it was still an unpleasant reminder of my cringey memory anyway. 

Speaking of cringe, I randomly remembered an incident that must be at least 15 years old when Chip and I were walking through a bookstore, which we used to do all the time, and there was an author sitting at a table for a book signing event. It wasn’t anyone I’d ever heard of, and indeed he must not have been too terribly popular because there was no one else there. Just him, sitting at his table with a pile of books, and the second hand embarrassment still makes me hurt all these years later. I hope at least a few people came to see him.

I had another sex dream about Hyde from That 70s Show a few days ago. I am not like super hot for him generally, but apparently my subconscious is because this isn’t the first such dream I’ve had about him. Weird.

I have continued my Star Wars prequel watches with Attack of the Clones, and I I can report that it, too, also sucks. Bad dialogue, bad line readings, bad characterizations. Anakin and Padme are supposed to fall in love, and yet there’s no chemistry and Anakin is whiny and petulant and I don’t see powerful Senator Padme being attracted to any of it. Also, wtf did the Sand People do to his mom?? I mean, I can guess what they are implying, but... Damn. Also, I hadn’t remembered that the actors they cast as Jango and Boba Fett were from, judging by their accents, New Zealand. It makes sense, as they movies were filmed in Australia. But their accents sound just like Taika Watiti, and it tickled me.

On the other end of the spectrum the Nicole Kidman movie The Others came on tv so I rewatched it, and it’s always a great movie. I think it’s definitely one of my favorite Nicole Kidman movies. In fact, I just took a stroll through her IMDB just now, and I can say my favorite movie featuring Nicole Kidman is Practical Magic, and The Others is number two. It’s a suspense/light horror movie, and the child actors in it are great, too. I checked to see if the girl who plays her daughter had done anything else, and she mostly hasn’t, so that’s kind of sad.

And finally, my parents and I finished watching Tiger King on Netflix, which has taken the country by storm in the last couple weeks. And guess what - I have actually been to that “zoo.” It was just a few months after Chip died almost 6 years ago, and my Dad had heard about it and wanted to go, so my parents, my sister, and I all drove up to Oklahoma and took a tour. Joe was there and when the tour started you went and sat in a small set of stands and he came out with a couple tigers and interacted with them in a big cage in front of the stands. Then everyone walked around the rest of the grounds on a guided tour. They had a few other types of animals, notably a camel, as I remember. They did not do the cub petting as they didn’t have any at the time, but they brought out a huge yellow python you could touch and take pictures with, which is probably the same one featured in a couple scenes of the Netflix show.

Do we feel kinda skeezy now that we went, after seeing the show? Well, I know I do, but what are you gonna do? I do remember seeing all the crazy stuff in the gift shop, like his albums and products like underwear and condoms with his face, etc, and thinking it was super weird at the time.

Okay, I guess this is long enough to count as an update. It’s nearly 2AM and I told myself I was going to try to get to bed earlier tonight (and yes, this represents earlier) so off I go. 

[arlingtonpark]

On the Coronavirus

Talking about the Coronavirus is a bit difficult, because it’s in a weird place. Among the possible outcomes, it’s significantly deadlier than a normal flu, but not deadly enough that we’re all going to die.

Naturally, extreme scenarios are easier to imagine, so are probably thinking we’re all going to die. We are not.

There’s a broad range of possibilities, so there’s much uncertainty, but we do know some things.

We know it cannot be stopped.

Containment is very unlikely at this point. The virus has spread to too many countries and has proven too difficult to track.

Coronavirus has a fatality rate of around 2%. This is 20 times deadlier than a normal flu. But 80% of the time, coronavirus is indistinguishable from a normal flu. By that I mean the symptoms are essentially the same and about as severe.

This is actually a bad thing. The symptoms are so mild that you may not even realize you’re infected, so you go about your daily life and spread the disease in the process.

Even worse, symptoms do not manifest for up to two weeks after you’ve been infected. So not only could you not realize you’re infected, by the time you do, you’ve already infected your friends and family.

And half the neighborhood.

There are about 65 or so Americans who’re infected. All of these people were infected while abroad in other countries except for the most recent four.

A student at a Seattle area high school.

A staffer at an elementary school in Portland, Oregon.

An elderly woman in San Jose, California.

And a man in Sacramento, California.

These four were infected in the United States. They did not spend time abroad and had no known contact with people who were abroad, meaning the disease is now spreading in earnest in the country.

20% of the time the symptoms are debilitating and require hospitalization. This is a big reason coronavirus is a public health risk. While it may not be bad for you, it could be bad for other people you infect.

This is especially true for the elderly and people with chronic conditions. There’s a higher chance these people will catch the coronavirus, that it’ll be more severe, and that they’ll die.

One thing I think people overlook is the social aspect of this crisis. People should take precautions for the sake of themselves, but it’s not just about that.

Again, the disease may not be so bad for you, but it could be for the guy you infect.

So a dude has the coronavirus and because they’re careless, they end up infecting you. Now you could be bedridden or even die.

And if you’re careless, you could infect someone else, and now they could die.

Everyone needs to do their due diligence and take precautions, especially since those precautions are easy.

1. Wash your hands

Do it often and regularly. And do it right.

Water temperature doesn’t matter. The type of soap you use doesn’t matter, either.

Wet your hands, lather with soap for 20 seconds, then wash it all off.

Your hands are the likeliest body part to carry the disease, since those are what you use to make contact with other people most often. Keep them clean.

2. Don’t touch your mouth, nose, or eyes.

Those are openings that the virus could use to get into your body. If the virus is on your hands and you rub your eyes, then now it’s inside you.

Only touch those body parts after you’ve washed your hands.

3. Clean surfaces and objects you touch with your hands often, and avoid using your hands to handle them whenever possible.

The hands are key. You could touch something like a door handle and if the virus is on it, then it’s now on you.

All it takes is soap and water. Just give places that multiple people interact with a good scrub and it’ll be clean.

And avoid using your hands to handle these objects whenever possible. If it’s practically possible to use a door handle by pushing down on it with your elbow, for example, then do it.

4. Avoid people.

We’re not really there yet, but it’s something to keep in mind. We may reach a point where it’s recommended you avoid public places as a general rule. That means all public places, even public transit like the bus or subway.

And, of course, if you’re sick, you should not leave your home.

Worse case scenario, you may have to shelter in your home even if you’re not sick. As in, don’t leave even to buy food; the risk to yourself would be too great. It’s not likely to get that bad at this point, but it’s likely enough to merit consideration.

Think of it as a self-quarantine.

If you suspect you have the virus, you must call your doctor immediately.

Call it in; don’t go in person. If you go to your doctor’s office in person, you risk infecting other people.

If you test positive, you may be quarantined by the authorities. Please, for God’s sake, comply with the quarantine order.

Yes, the government is effectively placing you under house arrest, but they’re allowed to do that. Freedom and rights are not absolute. The government is allowed to infringe on rights if it’s in the public interest.

Like preventing a disease from spreading.

It’s why we have eminent domain and why criminals are held in prison. The government can seize your property, provided they compensate you, and evict you from your home. This is justified if your property will be put towards public use.

Stuff like that limit freedom, but it helps the community. So do what the authorities tell you to do.

If the epidemic becomes sever enough, it could crash the economy. When the 1918 Spanish Flu pandemic hit, the economy shrank by as much as 4%, though hilariously, the stock market didn’t.

The economy is dependent on people being able to work. If many millions of people are too sick to work, economic activity will stagnate.

That could mean food and medication shortages. No workers means no work getting done, after all.

It likely won’t get that bad, but again, it’s likely enough to merit consideration. Soon, we may seriously need to consider getting a back up supply of any meds we need.

Everyone should just follow the instructions from public health officials.

Good luck everyone.

[eeveelutionsforequality]

"There's way more bugs! Skyrocketing rates!"

*looks at the black plague* yeah, we never had a problem with epidemics until McDonald's came along

Seriously though, where are all these super bugs that are apparently sweeping the globe? I mean, in countries with vaccines most of the recent booms have been in places with... high anti-vaxxer populations. I keep hearing people fear-monger about super bugs, like in that last post, and linking it to shit like GMOs, vaccines, etc, but I haven't actually seen any cases of some super powerful, unprecedented virus sweeping developed nations. Unless they're talking about bird flu and swine flu which, as the names suggest, are just new versions of the flu virus, and the flu virus mutates fast and always has, it's part of why it's always been so hard to vaccinate against. It's not a new super bug, it's just an old bug doing what it always does... and in a way that's less harmful because modern medicine and cleanliness is more equipped to deal with it.

Are they talking about antibiotic resistant versions of old bugs? Because again, like the swine flu and bird flu, that's just an old bug doing what living things have been doing since the emersion of RNA and DNA: mutating. Which isn't a big scary word. You're full of mutated DNA. The average person has 60 new genetic mutations (according to research). That's right, when your parents passed on their genes there were possibly about 60 errors. Congratulations, you're the very thing that you think is terrifying and unnatural. And that's not because of food or GMOs or vaccines, that's just what happens when genes are passed on. The reason that bacteria become antibiotic resistant is because when you take the antibiotics there's a chance that some of the bacteria in your body will have a mutation in their code, which they got through the same natural process that you got mutations (well, not the "when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much" part, but reproduction in general), and that mutation will by chance be one that allows them to survive that specific antibiotic. If your body doesn't kill those survivors, then they get passed on, passing on their mutations to ensuing generations and leading to a strain resistant to that specific antibiotic. It's not some terrifying process of bugs becoming super bugs through mysterious means that are super powerful against all of our earthly medicine... it's just a natural process that would've happened if we'd not advanced at all after the day we discovered antibiotics.

Honestly, I think "super bugs" has become this fear-mongering dogwhistle misnomer. They should really just be called "the same dude we always had but with a new shield". Seriously though, just take a short (or long, if you want) biology course everyone - it'll really calm your worry when you see all of these overdramatic headlines and quacks who feed on any ignorance, and it will replace it with worry about the effect that all of the fear-mongering and misinformation is having on people (for example, the anti-vaxxer movement).

[etlunainmorte]

💙 Chat Buddies ( ?! ) 💙

***

Day 15

***

~ The next day, in the 😈Devils May Cry😈 group chat ~

Dante: Hellooooooo

D: Anybody home?

Trish: What is it now?

D: Good morning to you Trish =D

T: What's so good in the morning? -_-

Vergil: If you two are planning to make a scene here, then, please, for the love of Sparda, I beg you to do it someplace else,

V: ... scum.

D: And good morning to you too Verg! ;)

Vicky: Hi, Verg 🥰

Ve: You...

Vi: 😅

Ve: I demand you to explain your absence last week.

D: 😱

D: Vicks you ditched Verg? How could you do that?

D: 😱

Vi: Wait a second here, I didn't! You see, I have, ahh...

D: What is it?

Vi: Flu.

Lady: Yeah. I heard the virus was floating around town this past week.

D: I see you came too Lady! ;)

L: Yeah

Ve: Now, if any of you, low - lives, are still planning to hang around, then, I must, now, take my leave. I have something better to do than have some idle, foolish, and pointless chit chat with you.

D: WHOA WHOA WHOA! WAIT!

Ve: What is it?!

D: You! You've been ghosting a lot lately! Is your "errand" really that important to you?

Ve: Don't ask, for you don't have anything to do with this.

D: Oh is that so?

D: Did you read that (Y/N)?

~ A few seconds later ~

You: I'm here

D: There we go!

D: So how's Paris life treating you now huh babe? ;)

Ve: Babe.

Y: Still the same

D: And that is?

Y: Coke.

T: Coke?

L: Coke? As in the soda?

Y: Yeah pretty much it

D: Why coke 🤔

Y: Because life's kinda like "zero" to me lately

D: OH!!!

L: Hey that's a good one!

T: It is.

Vi: It's so not!

Vi: That's so freaking corny! Like, "coke zero"? Duh! 🙄

D: Ohohoho! So we're doing pick up line battle here now huh?

Ve: Don't you even start that.

D: What? Are you kidding? This is fun! What do you say huh Vicks? We'll let Vergil decide the winner! ;)

Vi: Yeah, I'm in!

D: You (Y/N)?

~ A few moments later ~

Y: Sure I'm in

D: Yes!

L: Oh this I gotta see!

T: Guys if you need me I shall be a hundred miles away from here 🙄

D: Who wants to go 1st?

Vi: Me!

D: You're up ;)

Vi: Vergil,

Vi: Draw me like one of your french girls. ;)

D: WHOHOA!!!! TITANIC HUH? CLASSIC!!!!

D: Ok (Y/N) ur turn

Y: Vergil?

Ve: Yes, (Y/N)?

~ A few seconds later ~

Y: Where have you been all my life?

Ve: My dear, I'm...

Vi: Lame! 👎👎

Vi: Vergil, I'm sorry your shirt has to go. However, you can stay as long as you please. ;)

D: Way to go Vicks! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

D: Come on (Y/N) fight for Verg!

Y: Vergil.

Ve: Yes?

Y: I'm sorry I need to breathe

Ve: Wait, why? Are you alright? Are you not feeling well?

Y: No, it's just...

Y: Being with you takes my breath away

Vi: (Y/N), are you like my grandma or something? That's so freaking lame! "Being with you takes my breath away"? Like duh! 🙄👎👎

Vi: Verg, I know what you're thinking of me. And I know it's R - Rated. 😏😏😏😏💦💦💦💦

D: Oh spicy right there! 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Y: Verg, I need to tell you something

Ve: What is it, dear?

Y: I saw you

Ve: Where?

Y: In the mirror. Last May 1.

~ A few seconds later ~

Vi: Wait was that even a pick up line?

Vi: Do you even know how to play this game?

L: Ok guys! See you later!

D: Wait! Lady stay! Please 😥

L: Nah I'm still here ;)

Y: And you know how to play this game huh Vicky?

Vi: Duh! Of course I do!

Y: By all means let's find out then!

Y: After all you sound so confident!

Vi: Be my guest!

Vi: Verg?

Ve: Please, enough of this, Vicky.

Vi: You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture on my home.

Vi: 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Vi: ;)

~ A few awkward moments later ~

Y: Oh. I see.

Ve: (Y/N)? Dear?

Y: Vicky?

Vi: What is it

Vi: Grandma?

Vi: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Y: You know I was actually at a store the other day. I told the clerk I was looking for a bicycle.

Vi: Why would you even need a bicycle? 🙄

Y: I just need a good ride round Paris. I'm weak right?

Vi: Glad you know. ;)

Y: Well! Then guess what?

D: What is it?

Ve: (Y/N), please. Your heart...

Ve: I beg you...

Vi: Yeah, tell us already!

Y: Vicky

Y: The clerk

Y: FUCKING POINTED AT YOU

- SSSexy(Y/N) has left the group. -

Ve: The plague on the lot of you.

- Vergil Sparda has left the group. -

~ A few minutes later ~

T: See? I warned you didn't I?

- TheBewitchingDevilMiss has left the group. -

L: Sorry Dante I have to go.

D: Lady wait!

- MyNameIsLady has left the group. -

D: Ah

D: Shit

D: What now?

Vi: Dunno

Vi: Don't have a plan C

D: Hmm

Vi: ?

D: You're actually a good actress Nico

Nico: Nah. You're still better than me.

D: And "bang" Vergil on every piece of your furniture? Dude's gonna end up covered in oil and grease!

N: Well I thought it sounds kinda provocative

N: And "toodles"? Where did ya even get that?

D: Well Patty says that all the time, yeah

D: And look where it brought us...

N: 😫

D: Ok ok we'll fix this. Don't worry.

D: For now I'll check on Vergil

D: You go check on (Y/N). Call her, whatever

N: 👍

~ TO BE CONTINUED ~

[wishthefish916]

What Is Anti?

Holy fucking shit, I’ve literally had this saved as a draft on this site for MONTHS and just haven’t posted it out of spite, but if ever there was a call to action this is is. I published this theory a while ago, but I wasn’t completely happy with how I’d written it at the time so I took it down a few minutes later. I’d originally planned on never revisiting this again, but while developing a different theory which will probably be coming out soon, I was forced to revisit this work, so here we are. The science of Antisepticeye. What he is, where he came from and how to stop him. It’s a long one lads, so buckle the fuckle up.

If we’re ever gonna stop Anti, which is kinda the point of all this theorizing anyways, we have to know what exactly he is. To figure that out, we need to look into what effect he has on the world around him. Looking back at the ever expanding collection of Anti moments ((thank the heavens for his wiki and a whole lotta spare time)), the only thing that tied them all together is that the person in the webcam felt a sense of danger, be it from a jump scare or high suspense or even from hearing Anti’s name, the brain of the person who was recording sensed danger, which triggered a hormonal fight-or-flight response in their body in the moment Anti presents himself to us, and it’s usually preceded with a long gap in symptoms surfacing. What else do we know of that lies dormant for a long period of time before something triggers it to wake up which usually leads to chaos for whatever system it’s in? Jack A virus!

So what kind of virus is he? Well, in bigger videos like Say Goodbye and Kill JSE the person on the screen communicated that they felt physical effects of his presence, like nausea, aches, delirium and twitching and in some cases bleeding from the eyes. This tells me that if Anti is a virus he’s a biological one.

However I cannot ignore the biggest telltale sign of Anti showing up which is the game or webcam ((and sometimes the person)) glitching, audio disturbances, and corrupted html text((Zalgo)), which would tell me that he is a computer virus.

So lads, correct me if I’m wrong in saying that if Anti is indeed a virus, he wouldn’t be exclusively biological or the technological, but rather a biomechanical virus((I totally didn’t make up the term shush)).

Being made up of both biological and technological components mean infection could have happened just about anywhere. For the sake of clarity I’ll be breaking it up into biological and technological components as I’m fairly certain the two are symbiotically dependent on each other, considering the physical effects coincide almost completely with the technological ones.

If infection was controlled by the biological aspects, that would mean he was infected by contact with the virus. Either he touched it, breathed it in, ate or drank it, kissed it, or bled on it. For all the other egos who’ve been infected, this makes perfect sense. JJ cutting his finger right before the glitching shows up, Henrik almost never wearing his surgical mask when handling his infected patients, Chase heavily drinking in the moments leading up to Dark Silence, but Jack is a different story. The first time we saw Anti was in FNAF Sister Location, and that video had none of the above in it. That tells me he was infected well before he first showed himself, which makes sense logically. People don’t show flu symptoms as soon as they come into contact with the flu virus. It has to fester for a little bit before showing any symptoms, so why should Anti be any different?

So where did Jack get infected? If he did physically come into contact with the virus, it would have been in a live action video. From a storytelling perspective, it wouldn’t make sense to not showcase an important plot point clearly, and live action is the best medium to do such. That brought me to the 2015 pumpkin carving video, but nothing too suspicious happened. There was no bleeding, he didn’t eat anything, while he did kiss the pumpkin no bodily fluids were exchanged, and breathing it in or touching it seems implausible, because it would mean the virus already existed in his house, which means he would have been infected long before that video.

The only other live action videos he’s done, and correct me if I’m wrong, were the 700,000 subscriber ghost pepper challenge, the ALS Ice bucket challenge, and his regular vlogs. Sean is incredible at blurring the line between normal video and ego video, but these videos all had an underlying sincerity to them, where he was trying to communicate to us his appreciation or with the ALS video trying to get us to donate to charity, and I find it highly improbable for him to try and undermine the meaning behind them with an ego clue.

That leads me to believe that it were the technological aspects of the virus that infected him, and that’s where things get kinda tricky. Now, computer viruses are actually relatively easy to come into contact with, the problem definitely isn’t there. Maybe Jack was sent it in an email, maybe he went to a sketchy website, maybe he downloaded a game that had a little something extra up it’s sleeve. No biggie, it happens. The logic leap is when the computer virus starts affecting his real life person, even when he’s not using the computer, a la Say Goodbye.

I believe immersion is the answer. Immersion in game play is something a large portion of game developers strive for, making the player feel like they were actually inside their game. This is one of the hardest and most important things a story driven game developer can do, and also one of Jack’s key defining features in games he tends to really enjoy.

I think, in the story that Sean has created for us with the egos, when Jack is doing a lets play and he gets really immersed in the game, he actually does exist inside that game. That feeling of total immersion, those moments when his brain is unable to separate the game from reality, they happen because of him actually being inside the game on his computer. If Jack were to download a game that had Anti’s virus on it, and then became immersed in the game play experience long enough to come into contact with said virus, it’s entirely possible that the virus stayed with him when he left the game/no longer was immersed.

Well, if we’re going to find out how to cure the thing, we’ve first got to find the location of patient zero, i.e. the video that started it all. If we know where it came from, we’ll know how it works and that’ll make it immensely easier to stop it. Are there any games out there that Jack played that 1) truly immersed him as a player into it’s world, 2) share a strong resemblance to what we already see in Anti, and 3) was uploaded some time before the release of Sister Location. There are two bigguns that spring to mind.

Undertale is probably the most well known and well liked series on Jack’s entire channel. While he was playing he became heavily invested in each of the characters, even the baddies, and so did we. We grew to care for them all as if they were our closest friends. When they were hurt, we screamed in protest. When they were comforted, we felt all warm and fuzzy. When we reached the true ending, we all cried. I would most certainly consider that immersion, wouldn’t you?

Not only did Undertale immerse the player and viewer, it messed with your actual computer files. If you do a genocide route even once, uninstalling and reinstalling the game won’t wipe it’s memory of the route. You have to dig through your computer to find and delete the file that tells steam what route you chose if you want to play the game brand new again. Not to mention the game frequently closing itself unprompted, which has a well known history for corrupting recording footage. Potential for corruption? Check.

New paragraph for new point because oh my god, there’s a lot. Several people have already pointed out the similarities between Flowey and Anti, but just in case you haven’t seen it yet or wanted a nice recap, here we go.The voice acting Jack chose for Flowey sounds just like a higher pitched Anti voice. This was the first time he ever layered audio files to achieve a more sinister voice effect. The thumbnails following his fight with Flowey all hold trademark characteristics of Anti video thumbnails. Our first ever interaction with him ends with him attempting to murder Jack. Their laughs are one in the same. At certain points in the game, you can find Flowey following you, keeping an eye on things, if you will. His boss fight, oh my g o d. He kills the dude in charge, everything cuts to black, and next thing we know there’s a glitchy face laughing at us through a screen, telling us about how he’s the one in charge and how this is his world and how everything he’s done was all our faults, after which his eyes turn red and green and he starts puppeteering controlling six different souls, using their different skills to his own personal advantage so he can fulfill some unspoken objective. Gee, sound familiar? 

However, despite all of this, Undertale was not patient zero. Why I still listed all the game’s similarities despite this, I promise was not to waste your time, I’m getting to that. There was a game that came just before this one, the first of it’s kind, the actual patient zero. That game, is The Visitor.

Many of you may not remember this game, but The Visitor (and The Visitor Returns) was a little flash game that was posted way back on March 1st, 2015, and you played as an alien creature that came to Earth on a meteorite who’s only objective was to kill any creature it came into contact with to gain it’s powers. It was a video that kind of took the channel by storm, landing it’s place as the fifth most watched video on Jack’s channel even though nobody really knew how. This was patient zero. 

As for the checklist? It was posted March 1st, 2015, a full year and seven months before Sister Location. Jack is certainly immersed in the gameplay, so much so he forgets about the menu screen and accidentally restarts the game in an attempt to do more stuff. Does it show a similarity to what we already see in Anti? More than you’d see at first glance. Yes, his mouse is kind of glitching through the entire video. Yes, his webcam goes dark for a single frame towards the five minute mark. Yes, there’s multiple severe neck wounds throughout the game. But that’s not what sold me on this. It’s the premise of the game itself. 

I was struggling for months trying to figure out which game was patient zero. I jumped between Undertale, Fran Bow, Vee is Calling, and even the other Five Nights At Freddy’s videos more times than I could count, because all of them seemed like plausible answers. Fran Bow was the first series ever to adopt Anti’s traditional thumbnails, with lens flares and glowing eyes and blood everywhere(seriously, I took a good ten minutes and scrolled through every single video on his channel and Fran Bow was where it all started), not to mention a dark shadow creature who feeds on suffering being the main antagonist. Vee is Calling had an actual virus as a main character who actually glitches out and actually takes control of the main character’s in game computer. One of the glitches in SIster Location #1 showed a frame from the first ever FNAF game, and many of the sounds were pulled from the series at different points. I’ve already written paragraphs about Undertale. All of these things show a direct tie to Anti. 

Then remember what The Visitor is all about. It’s an alien who kills things around him to gain it’s powers. It takes aspects from each creature it comes into contact with and uses them for his own personal gain. That seems to be exactly what Anti has done ever since we’ve known him as a physical entity on the channel rather than an idea with a name. 

I mean, look back at May 2k18. Every single skit, either ego themed or not, was pulled directly from whatever the game he played was about. Hell, just look at the egos! I’ve talked about this before, but in every single ego video, there is always a theme of character decay, where the person they were at the start of the video erodes away leaving nothing but a shell of who they were by the end, and this is especially apparent in their debut. JBM, the courageous hero giving into cowardice. Marvin the Magician, throwing away his career. Henrik the wise doctor, killing his patients and forgetting a comedic amount about human nature. Chase the bubbly dad, pulling a gun on himself. JJ the mute actor, cutting his finger and immediately getting possessed. I’d tied them back to Anti before, but I never really knew why. In hindsight, this was clearly Anti’s attempt at stealing their strengths. Each and every one of them had some advantage that Anti wanted, and their slow decay was evidence of Anti trying to take control so he could have it. That’s why each new video showed him getting stronger, going from making them kind of afraid to full on suicide and possession. He was stronger because he’d taken more attributes and was able to use them more effectively with each passing video. For each game that Sean got immersed in that fit his agenda, Anti adopted different aspects for himself. There is no one video where Anti came from because he came from every video.

Okay. Alien biomechanical virus. How do we treat it? Well, that is heavily reliant on it’s sources. Anti adopted both some benefits and some defects from every game he pulled from. He gained both strengths and weaknesses, so if you want to “beat” him, the answer would lie in those games. The Visitor had no happy ending. Fran Bow won by giving up on reality and living with tree people, a demon, and an oversized axolotl. Undertale got a good ending by befriending everyone including the bad guys and hopefully not dying too much in the process. FNAF was finished by getting fired or burning everything to the ground and praying you’re not sent to purgatory. Vee is Calling was saved by focusing on your love life more than your computer files. Maybe it’s one of those answers. Maybe it’s all of them. Maybe it’s none of them. It seems not even Sean knows the answer to that question, but now we have a great place to start looking.

I wasn’t able to attend PAX, which means I didn’t know about the Anti “hint” until just now. When I heard it I wanted to scream, I think I actually might have, because I’ve been sitting on this work for literal months and just not gotten around to posting it. “We still haven’t figured out what Anti is yet.”

So, @therealjacksepticeye, are my answers to your satisfaction? 

[kaoarika]

Hello! Good luck on not spoiling anything to your brother, even if it can be tempting! For the assclass asks, 🔫 and 🐙 ?

I’m glad mybro is enjoying the series so far.  Itlooks he actually enjoyed the Island Arc. Although I don’t actually agree withhim that Matsui’s art improved that much in AnKyou, I kinda see his point fromNeuro (from various colored cover pages around, like, geez). I’m really trying to don’topen my mouth about stuff here and there, lol

So, toquestions! (for reference)

🔫    Favourite and least favourite villain

FavouriteI’m gonna go here and say Asano Gakuhou.

I’m goingto say it here, though… I personally think that all the villains in this series had someproblems when Matsui was developing them. I THINK in some cases they might haveimproved (a bit) within the adaptations… but not all of them (due to various degrees of not being in there and what not).

Asano shoulddefinitely have been punished even more, just saying. I understand that Asanodid all the things he did because his teaching system at the start of hiscareer ended up with bad results… but why would you punish those who reallydon’t deserve it? Why would those students with low grades or poor attitude (and some of these were the nicest kids ever),who may or may not have a terrible life at home… why would they be punished tobe seen as “society trash”? And why doing the same thing a bully did to one ofhis dearest students? I mean, isn’t that a non-ending cycle meaning that yourperfect educational system is still flawed?

I think I wasexpecting the worst from him… and in a part, he doesn’t disappoint me. He wasmore interested in ways to improve his system when the 3-E Class ended upshowing him (with help of Koro-sensei) that his system was flawed. He was moreinterested in the monetary help from the government to keep funding him and hisinstitution, because, at the end, he didn’t care about these students at all.Sink or swim, it wasn’t his responsibility anymore.

And, whileI appreciate that Koro-sensei KINDA redeemed him seeing the values he lost, Idon’t feel like it was enough? Sure, he was fired (some time after the fact,but) from his position as chairman. But the scars are still there even if our 3-E Class kids overcame them.

And my leastfavorite is Houjou, hands down. So least favorite that the anime staff didn’twant to have anything involved with him, lmao. But, for reals, I have lots ofreasons why he was my unfavourite. Sure, he was strong, he outsmarted a bunch of middle-schoolers, and he was hyped in some sort of form, buuuuut it feltTERRIBLE seeing how he and his goonies did all what they did to these kids.

Sure, youcan say that Takaoka applied and was showing abuse on the kids (before theIsland Arc), how he was out there for vengeance planning to kill the kids withsome kind of virus (and laughing off how they would die, while also destroyingthe cure… THANK GOD it was only a flu variation)… or how Yanagisawa was fullyon the idea of taking one of these kids as a complicit of a homicide just for apersonal vendetta against his own experiment.

…But Iguess it’s more painful seeing how a grown man treated these kids, because it’s…cringey in the worst way possible. One thing is leaving the worst to yourimagination… other thing entirely is showing it on panel. Like… these are kids,ffs. I haven’t really forgotten that one scene where Houjou presentshimself with the recently-captured kids to that one department dude – it wasTHAT inhuman.

🐙   What role wouldyou assume if you were in 3-E (eg. leader, chemist, sniper)?

…Realisticallyspeaking, if I was a middle schooler, I couldn’t have easily survivedKunugigaoka’s school system (who realistically could have, lol?). Probably could have been transferred due to notkeeping track of the classes AND probably falling asleep in class (which was a real thing that I went through in my teenage years, what did help me, tho? My grades were great).

ANYWAY.

I’m more ofan observant… so probably something along the lines of the kind of role Mimurahad, but not exactly his role.

I alwaystry to keep my eyes on details. Maybe not exact details like getting clues noone seems to care while trying to resolve a crime or something along the lines,lol, but I’m still really observant. So, with that I assume I would be more ofa strategist? Or someone who helps with plans that have possible flaws and thelike to improve them? I don’t think my sight is too good for a sniper, hahah. Iwould be more in the defensive side instead of the attack one.

[hangonimevolving]

Attempting some gratitude, for once.

I need to post this, before the thought and the mood from which it’s sprung both dissipate into thin air.

I suck at gratitude, on the whole. Seriously, I do, and I know I need to work on that. I’ll spare everyone my sob stories, explanations, justifications, etc. for why I have had a hard time with gratitude in recent years, but suffice to say - I am aware that I suck at it, and I heard somewhere that the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.... so fine. I admit it. I’m ungrateful and unappreciative in my life most days.

But today, I’ve had multiple - MULTIPLE - moments of just feeling this weird, inexplicable, warm and fuzzy, happy, sigh-inducing THING just bubble up in me. And I was like WTF is this feeling?! Why is my tummy all glittery and light? Why am I sitting here on the sofa smiling for no damn reason?! OHHHHH! Wait! Is this.....gratitude?! HOLY SHIT, I think it is! So I’m gonna write it down and note it for all posterity. I, Evolver, have felt gratitude on this 7th day of September, 2018.

It all started last Saturday night, where, right in the middle of Labor Day weekend and my sister Rithers’ visit to our hike in Miami along with her hubby, Uncle K, and her kids H20 and NiNi, our 5.5-year old Vevvy fell ill. We thought that perhaps he was just overly exhausted from a long and happy day in the pool when he felt warm to the touch on Saturday night, but mid-day Sunday, during a beach excursion - Vev’s FAVORITE thing in the world, he completely fell apart, acting listless, fatigued, and not having fun at all. One look at him, standing statuesque on the beach, staring out to sea longingly while tears rolled down his cheeks, said it all: “what is going on?! I’m so confused, mommy! I’m in my favorite place in the world, and yet I feel so miserable! What is happening to me?!” A hand on his forehead revealed that he was burning up. Without a moment’s hesitation, Dr. Spouse loaded him up in the car and headed for home, while I remained at the beach with Dey to host Rithers and co. a while longer. Poor Vev needed a shower, some kiddie Tylenol, and bed rest, stat.

the “I am siiiiick” face :(

Over the next seven - SEVEN! - days, Vev would continue to have relentless fevers or 101-103F even with continuous children’s Tylenol and Motrin. He also developed monster congestion in his sinuses and nose, headaches, body ache, and general fatigue. I was sincerely shocked and more than a little intimidated by his congestion snot (keeping it real), which was so thick and oppressive, it would choke his throat and inhibit his from breathing if he dared to rest in even a semi-reclining position. 

The poor kid had no choice but to be completely upright if he didn’t want to gag on his own phlegm, which meant that he (and by transitive property, I) could really sleep no more than 90 minutes at a stretch for four nights straight. He was miserable, and I was doing everything I could to help him, staying with him each night either on an air mattress in my bedroom, or just holding him against my shoulder/chest in my bed while he desperately tried to sleep and breathe at the same time. I felt awful for him, and mused for a moment about parents whose children have respiratory disorders like CF who live their lives this way.... good health is such a blessing that we all take for granted.

As much as I hated every minute of Vev’s suffering, there was something a bit nostalgic in holding him sleeping in my arms for several consecutive nights. Wasn’t there a time in the not-so-distant past where this was the ONLY way he’d sleep?! I bitch and moan all the time about how clingy, dependent, and non-self reliant my kids are — but it has been years since Vev needed me at night this way. My Vevvy has grown up a lot.

And to his credit, despite all this sicky misery, he was really a trooper while ill. Against his traditional character, when sick or not, he really didn’t complain much - just went quiet and kept to himself for days, forming a little nest on the sofa each day with a warm blankie, big box of Kleenex, and his iPad, not really asking for much at all except quiet and rest. He never really complained when I had to give him medication, and he did his best to heed my urges to drink clear fluids even when I could tell he really didn’t want to. And - forgive the TMI here - but you know your kid is really growing up when they begin to have some way of forewarning you and/or running to the bathroom on their own steam and hitting the preferred target of the toilet when they’ve gotta vomit. Fortunately, Vev only puked twice this week, and I suspect that too was only bc he gagged on his own copious snot — but both times, he announced “throwwww uuuup!” to me before sprinting to the loo and handling affairs with no mess and accurate aim. HALLELUJAH! This should be considered a major developmental milestone!!! (And yes - poor, poor kid! I really am glad it was only the twice, because that must have sucked a lot for him!)

Yeah, so.  He’s growing up.  Way to go, buddy!!!... and, sniff.

(supposedly this says “Mommy I love you ”...  but he always starts writing at the bottom of a page and works his way up.  He may also be of the mind that “Mommy” is spelled “mom-E.”  Yes, we’re gonna work on it)

It was only yesterday, Thursday, that we got an official pediatrician diagnosis of his illness: the flu, as in the legit flu virus, or Influenza A. The word came too late for antiviral medications to be of any great use to him, unfortunately, but I was grateful anyway that we got a halfway-decent pediatrician BRILLIANT nurse practitioner who needed my assertive request demand for a prophylactic prescription or Tamiflu for Dey. We’ve had shitty luck in South Florida with pediatricians who appear to be reactionary and unnecessarily nonsensical in their responses to my requests for help - but this time, our pedi NP was A+. She treated our family like competent, educated people and did things that made sense as far as ensuring this highly-contagious virus wouldn’t spread to another healthy child living in the same household. I wish she could be our regular PCP (but of course, I bet she can’t be, bc she’s not a doctor. Grr, fucking managed care. Oops, hold it - I’m supposed to be channeling gratitude here, not my customary bitchiness. My bad.)

Anyway, speaking of Dey, I’ve got to brag about him a bit here too. At 3.5 years old, Dey’s baseline is definitely chill, go-with-the-flow, glass-half-full, and a pleasant, happy and easygoing “whatever you want, dude!”-ness that Vev NEVER was at that age. It’s been really awesome to see. But this week, his general outlook on life, combined with impressive moments of being a team player, cooperating, helping out, and exhibiting formidable empathy really made me sooo proud.

It’s certainly understandable that he’d be potentially jealous that his older brother got to skip an entire week of school while he still had to go. It would be even more understandable since they are actual CLASSMATES at school this year (yes, our Montessori school groups ages 4-6/preschool, pre-K and kindergarten in one classroom, so they’ve been together at school and at home since the start of the academic year). So I was very impressed when Dey accepted his brother’s illness and his need to stay home from school, while he was forced to go. Without one word of complaint, he’d get up each morning, eat his breakfast, get washed up and dressed out in uniform, gather his things, then visit Vev quickly and dispense a goodbye hug and a “hope you feel better, Vev!” before loading up in the car for school drop-off. What a trooper. At afternoon pick-up, when I’d ask about his day at school, he’d say with a little frown, “oh, school was okay...but Vev wasn’t on the playground.” It was kinda weird feeling my heart simultaneously break a little, but also burst with pride at how much he loves his brother. Sweet kiddo. 

At home, each afternoon he’d run excitedly to Vev to see how he was doing, his face full of hopeful anticipation that perhaps today, Vev was feeling better and could play with him... but when he’d find Vev too miserable and tired to play, his face would momentarily fall in disappointment, but then he would muster some compassion and understanding, silently shuffle away, and find a quiet game to do in the vicinity, just so he could be nearby without disturbing Vev. Or, cuter still, he’d snuggle down on the opposite side of the couch as Vev, and tune his iPad into the same YouTube video Vev would be watching, so they could give each other silly smiles and glances during the funny parts. The boy would periodically race off in the house to find his toy doctor kit, and would affix his little plastic stethoscope to his ears so he could “give Vev a checkup” and “make him feel better.” 

(Dr. Cutie Pie is in)

It was adorable, man. His whole world spins because of his brother. It’s so touching. I don’t know how it is that I managed to have two kids who love each other so much, because karmically I’ve done NOTHING to earn this. My sister and I were rotten to each other as kids, and only really turned a corner on it in our... what, our late 30′s?!  Haha :)  But I’m so grateful for these two dudes. These two little people are the best of friends, and they can’t live without each other. The feels.

One more funny brag about Dey. Dr. Spouse and I often jokingly refer to him as Dory, i.e. the lovable blue fish, voiced by Ellen DeGeneres from the Disney movie “Finding Nemo.” Dory’s schtick is that she’s easily distracted and has short-term memory. 

Fittingly, Dory is one of Dey’s favorite cartoon characters, and he’s not shy to let the world know....

Anyway. Remember that whole prophylactic script for Tamiflu? Mind you, I was so grateful to get it. But. Ummmm, pediatric Tamiflu tastes FOUL. It is seriously the most bitter, disgusting, viscous goo I’ve ever gingerly licked to mentally prepare myself for my kid’s reaction to. I began fearing Dey’s reaction, and the ensuing tantrums to come over the five-day course of the drug. But I spoke matter-of-fairly to Dey about how this was a medicine he’d need to take to keep himself healthy, and that it would be a little bit yucky, but that I’d give him a HUGE spoonful of sugar right after to make it taste better (and THANK YOU, blessed Mary Poppins, for your genius). 

 Luckily, little Dory just took my words at face value without any further thought, opened his mouth, and downed the nasty shot of devil’s semen Tamiflu that I dispensed into his mouth. Immediately his face went every shade of red, purple, and white, with a coordinating expression like “what the hell is this shit?!” — but I swooped in there prepared, like a crack-smoking Mother of Batman, giving him a swig of water then heaping a MASSIVE spoon of white sugar directly onto his tongue. The result was nothing short of magical - the kid instantaneously closed his eyes in pleasure, turned up his cute little round cheeks to the ceiling with a huge smile on his face, and loudly cooed “Mmmm!” as if it was the best damn thing he’d ever eaten in his life. Moments later, the sugar fully dissolved, Dey matter-of-fairly reminisced with a RainMan-esque tone, “hey mommy, that medicine was kind of yucky for me. Kind of salty. Kind of spicy. But the SUGAR WAS YUUUUUUMMMMMY!” I worried that at the next dosing (and man, the kid’s gotta take it morning and night, poor little dude) he’d run screaming from the salty spicy medicine, and wouldn’t fall for the sugar trick — but amazingly, when I announced “medicine and sugar time,” the child came RUNNING to me with a huge grin on his face like he’d just won the lottery. He gulped down the medicine like a champ, swigged the water himself, then began changing “Su-gar! Su-gar! Su-gar!” till I ladled a bit into his mouth.  Naturally, my mind spun forward a bit, concerned that his ease of overcoming the Yucky Taste Barrier and downing this stuff for a cheap reward might translate into some unsavory teenage and young adult behaviors (err, tequila shot champion in the making?!  Please god, help us).  But, for now - eternally grateful for my little Dory’s easy distractability and forgiving memory!!! Vev, at that age and even now, would have NEVER gone along with this!

(is it just me, or do they even kinda sorta look alike, Dory and Dey?  No one else sees it?!  No one?!!!  Hmm...)

Anyway. In conclusion, it’s not normal for me to have something kind of bad happen, like the flu hitting one of my kids, but finding some good in the mess. But here I am, in spite of myself, awash in all the warm fuzzies.

1. I’ve got two healthy, happy kids, when many people have children with serious health issues and have to live their lives watching their kids sick and miserable all the time

2. my kids are growing up, becoming wonderfully independent, self-reliant, empathetic and helpful. But they still sometimes need me, and that’s nice too.

3. They both have such fun, distinct personalities.

4. I admit that it’s pretty awesome that my second kid is so chill. Love them both to bits, but if kid #2 has been more ornery and neurotic, I think that would have sucked. Having a chill kid #2 is a godsend.

5.  They frigging LOVE EACH OTHER.  It’s a goddamn brotherly love fest up in here.  

6.  Last but not least - the flu sucks, but it isn’t forever, and life will go on.  Soon, in fact.  And we’ll be onto the next adventure together.  Look forward to seeing what it’ll be!