#this is the most shitty situation ever things r supposed to be better but im just thethered n i cant ESCAPE

[lewisscapaldi]

relationship with my mother that doesn't leave me with chronic guilt pleaseeeee :)

[antiloreolympus]

13 Anti LO Asks

1. ok but thats seriously what bugs me so much about LO, it never actually lets serious moments be serious, it's always lampooned by rachel's insistent need to force in her juvenile "humor" and never actually depicting how pressing things are. even the following moments from persephone's r//pe was undercut by hades making stupid puns! i understand if rachel cant write something more serious than "[x] is bad" but if thats so, then dont try it? because thats how you end up with this pretentious mess.

2. since when did lo hades have earrings??? i legit do not remember this ever being a thing??? is he trying to be hip with the kids 😭my man you still look like a crusty old man the earrings arent helping 😭

3. lo hermes looks and acts like flaky from happy tree friends and no thats not a compliment (TW for gore, blood, and violence if any of you google it)

4. Even though the earlier art style was better there are still some cursed panels from the earlier pages that still haunt me. Especially the way Persephone was drawn differently in so many of the panels.

5. lo hades has such "how do you do fellow kids" energy and im not sure why

6. im also confused on the fertility goddess stuff because how stupid is persephone if she didnt notice? she can create life and nature without even thinking and shes implied to be a genius in biology, so how would she not even notice this? if RS really wants to go with this plot, then why have her professor bring it up in class? why not show persephone going to her uni's library to research the topic and pouring over it? that's an easy way to show persephone's intelligence, yet LO doesnt even try.

7. What I wanna know in LO was how Demeter and Hestia were compensated after the war. The three brothers got to be kings and Hera is queen, but what we know of Demeter is that she had a millionaire dollar business that’s probably made it on its own (unless she was helped out) and then Hestia all we really know about her is that she runs that TOGEM and idk if there’s only 4 of them, Hestia really had a group by herself for a bit since Athena is Zeus’ (assumed) daughter, Artemis (Zeus’ assumed daughter) and persphone (newest member) which seems shitty since they won a war together

8. I think what happened with LO’s art style was RS got “lazy” (I’m lacking the right word). I feel like without the colors all of the men in LO have the same body type, and Hermès and Apollo may even have the same face if they smile the same. So to compensate for that lack of body diversity, RS doubled down on Hades’ features to make him stand out more to really show he’s the male lead. However, even in her own words he looks like Persphones’ “dusty ass dad”

The women use to be a little different but they’re all starting to blend with body types. Her was small, but now she’s short and busty like Persphone. RS makes Persphone look short and busty all the time but almost childlike. Minthe was skinny but her last moments she was busy. Aphrodite I feel was just busty but then tried to make her look small also with Ares and Hades beside her. Hestia stayed the same but is still small and busty. Athena was tall and thin (?) but now she’s tall but busty (and her relationship with Hestia looks like it mirrors HXP). Idk I just feel like the longer screen time the female characters get the more they start mirroring Persphone’s look. Like even Artemis was getting empathized on being small next to her brother Apollo. Like all the girls gotta look small but curvy as the story goes on. 

9. Demeter: watched her friend get ripped in half. Watched her friend get continually cheated on, paying the price for not hiding a mistress , watched metis get eaten, her back clawed, fought in a war. Later made a daughter who’s a fertility goddess (probably an accident) and now has to raise her. That same daughter then went on a rampage and isn’t really remorseful

Fans: Demeter is such an overbearing mother who gets in the way of our ship.

10. on regards to ace characters, asexuality is a spectrum like everything else, so a lot of asexuals actually do enjoy and have sex, so the maidens doing so isnt inherently a problem, its the fact rachel is clearly viewing it through a strict binary where she assumes asexuality is something that can be "fixed" over time/when the right person comes along. its also a bad modern reading of it, as "virginity" in an ancient sense meant via marriage, not via sex, but I doubt rachel cares to factcheck it.

11. Imagine an elf is given a job to do at a human institution. The humans think elves don’t need bathroom breaks, since they know they can hold it for days, but this elf has been traveling to reach their job, and has already been holding it to the point they are in pain. They ask for a break, but their job is important and time sensitive, so they admit they can still hold it when asked. After a full day of work, the elf tries to reach the bathroom in time, but they were never told where it is.

From OP: I think this might be a nymph allegory? Anon never specified so I'll put this here anyway.

12. ya know if hades has to lie to make apollo seem worse (who does not need much in this comic) its like??? why is he persephone's lawyer then?? lawyers are literally told not to lie, this is basic law 101. thats why they dont want their clients to mention to them if they actually did the crimes because then the lawyers have to say it in court. if hades lies so casually just to keep persephone away from justified punishment, then thats bad actually!  both in being a decent person and as a lawyer!

From OP: Hades didn’t lie but he was definitely out of line. RS liked a tweet saying that the wife thing was “subconscious” so it probably was. (Still doesn’t make it right but I doubt he’d say those things on the stand.)

13. I know Minthe was written in a way she was suppose to be unlikesable, she’s rude, she yells and she doesn’t hesistate. HOWEVER RS wrote her character badly. Minthe is so unliked? How was she able to be a bad gf to hades and Thanatos? Like yes it’s an affair but how was she able to pull 2 gods?! We don’t hear Hades or Thanatos say what they like about her BUT they both still had a fling with her. (Honestly I feel it’s cause RS can’t bare writing one nice thing about the female anatangoist without trying to make Persphone look good)

The other thing bothering me was everyone knew about her relationship with Hades after she put it on fatesbook, but everyone talked about the kiss in such a positive light IN FRONT OF HER. Aren’t they suppose to be scared of her? Why did the girls in the yoga class/dress shop had so much to say about that kiss? Because they knew persphone? Did they know every other detail too? What was their actual beef with Minthe?

I feel like realistically some more characters would have sympathy for Minthe if they didn’t know her that well because of Hera. Everyone knows Hera is a pill to deal with and she’s the goddess of marriage who hasn’t really tried bringing Minthe and Hades to the alter. That right there should let everyone know that Hera probably doesn’t help the situation.

Idk, I feel like RS could have gone deeper and made the character not such HXP shippers cause most people wouldn’t cheer for cheating nor an old ass guy getting with a 19 year old. (Idk how fast the news of the slap spread, but I doubt it made it to every place in their fictional world)

[thatapplelookslikeme]

DEARDESCENDANTS’ 12 DAYS OF HOLIDAYS

Day 2: Snow

Warnings: panic/anxiety attacks, ocd, child abuse, emotional trauma, thoughts of self-harm/suicide

Word count: 3,592

basically: based after d3 when the barrier is broken, but there’s a spell that keeps the villains from leaving. evie misses the snow on the isle and wants to go visit, carlos has lots of AnXiEtY, jay is protective of his boy, jaylos

Remember that panic and anxiety attacks are different for everybody! The ones described in this are the most common for me, so they’re easier to write about, but they’re definitely not something that everybody goes through.

no promises that i’m gonna finish the whole 12 days because i did no preparing for this at all and both of these days took h o u r s to finish. i’m trying im sry :(

Evie, Mal and Jay sat on the floor of the boys’ room looking at old pictures. This was their first holiday season in Auradon and as much as she enjoyed the warm weather, Evie was starting to miss the cold weather and snow of the isle. The three of them were going through the polaroids they took last year, only a couple months before they were whisked away to Auradon.

“Do you guys ever miss the snow?” Evie asked, not sure how to bring up the idea of a visit.

“No, it’s way better here,” Mal responded to her, “I actually enjoy being able to feel my limbs when I walk outside.”

“Don’t you dare say you want to go back, E,” Carlos said from across the room. “That place is full of bad memories. Go buy a snow globe to stare at if you miss it so much.”

“I don’t think one day would be so bad,” Evie responds as she continues looking through pictures. “It wouldn’t even have to be the whole day, maybe just a couple hours.” Mal and Jay exchange looks, but nobody responds, clearly not wanting to start an argument.

They finish going through the pictures and when Mal goes to bring another box of pictures over, Jay glances at his boyfriend, still sitting on the bed, staring at the book in his lap. He stands up, walking over to Carlos and sitting down next to him on the bed. When he doesn’t say anything, Jay leans his head on his shoulder. Knowing that shutting down like this was one of Carlos’ coping mechanisms, he didn’t say anything. He knew all he needed to do was be there to comfort him during times like this.

Acting as if this wasn’t happening was the best way to help Carlos get through this. Bringing attention to his attacks would only make them worse, Carlos never liked being the center of attention anyway. To anybody else, Carlos would look completely okay. But Jay knew, because he’s been around him for so many years, he knew the fidgeting and the blank staring. Jay knew to be there just in case he needed anything, but gave him time to process everything in his mind. When he was ready to talk, he would. And if he needed help, he would say it.

The first time Jay witnessed one of these attacks, he made Carlos promise to let him know if it was getting to the point of needing help. In exchange, Jay promised not to pressure him to talk about anything unless he wanted to.

Eventually, the girls finished going through all the pictures and headed back to their own room after saying their goodbyes. Jay stayed sitting next to Carlos, reading along with him when he calmed down enough to continue reading. After awhile, Carlos silently put his book down on his night stand and laid down. Jay laid down next to him and held him close to his chest, knowing that he wasn’t going to get any conversation from Carlos tonight.

~

“If you’re not going to put the work in to keep this house clean, you don’t deserve to stay in it! Stay away from me and this house until you realize how much I do for you and are ready to appreciate it,” Cruella yelled as she slammed the door in the small boy’s face.

It was the middle of winter, and there were piles of snow and ice all over the ground already with more falling. It was the middle of the night, which made it even colder. He could stay in his treehouse, he kept a couple blankets up there, but there were still openings all over the place and he’d probably be soaked and freezing by morning. He could try to sneak back in the house through the window and sneak back out in the morning, but he’d make too much noise, and he couldn’t be sure Cruella wouldn’t come into the closet before he woke up.

Deciding he didn’t have any other options, he started making his way to the clubhouse. He knew Mal, Evie, and Jay wouldn’t care if he stayed there, but he knew they’d ask about why he had come if any of them found him there. Everybody on the isle had shitty parents, and it was some part of a social contract that nobody talked about it. He covered his bruises and cigarette burns pretty well, and when he didn’t and one of the others asked about it, he would just brush it off as injuries from a fight.

He let himself in and looked around for any of the other three. When he didn’t see any of them, he mentally prepared an explanation for if one of them came in and found him. As soon as he pulled the blankets over his body and curled up on the couch, he was asleep.

The next morning when Jay found him, Carlos completely forgot about his bullshit explanation from last night and spilled every detail of his fucked up childhood, and Jay shared every detail of his in return.

~

Carlos woke up sweating and turned over, expecting to see his boyfriend lying on the other side of the bed, but was surprised to find the other side of the bed completely empty. In fact, once he took a look around the room, he realized the entire room was empty.

Had Jay finally gotten tired of having to comfort him everyday for so many years?

Carlos felt his breathing quicken and a familiar heavy feeling in his chest started to appear. Pulling the blankets off the bed and rushing to the bathroom, he slammed the door shut behind him and curled up in the corner.

He wasn’t prepared for Jay to tell him he was tired and done with him, so he figured the best way to avoid that was to block out the world. After all, the best way to cope is to act like it’s not happening. Well, out of the coping mechanisms Carlos knew, which were few, and they were all unhealthy.

Jay opened up the door with his right hand and balanced the tray of food on his left hand. He looked over to the bed and noticed that Carlos wasn’t there anymore. He also noticed the blankets were gone from the bed, but brushed it off assuming Carlos just kicked them to the floor. It wasn’t uncommon for their room to be a complete mess, especially their beds. Jay assumes Carlos is just getting ready, so he sets the tray down on the table in front of the TV and calls out, “Hey, I got you breakfast whenever you’re ready,” before turning on the TV and sitting down on the couch.

Carlos was so inside his own head that he didn’t even hear the noise of the door opening and closing, Jay’s voice, or the TV turning on. All he could hear was the voice in his head telling him that Jay was tired of him and he was going to leave him.

After a half hour of waiting, Jay starts to worry about Carlos. He never takes this long to get ready, even including a shower, and the shower hadn’t been on at all since Jay returned to the room. He gets up to go check on Carlos, knocking on the door and attempting to twist the handle. That’s when he realizes there’s no light coming from under the door. Which meant Carlos was in there in the dark. Sitting in the dark was something Carlos only did when his attacks were really bad. Something he did when he needed to block out every other thing in the world.

He tried knocking one more time and when he didn’t get a response, he got the key that was taped behind the TV stand. They kept it there in case Carlos ever needed help. It wasn’t uncommon for him to start panicking during a shower, there was plenty of time to think in there. But it never got bad enough for Jay to have to use it. There’s a first time for everything, he supposes.

He pushed open the door and flipped on the light switch. He immediately fell to his knees in front of the boy when he saw him curled up in his blankets, crying and shaking. He thought about pulling the smaller boy up and carrying him back to his bed, but decided that trying to touch him would scare him and that’s the last thing he wanted to do. “Carlos? What’s going on?” He waited for a response but knew that he was too far gone to hear him.

Carlos didn’t notice the noise or the light, his brain was still trying to process the fact that one of the most important people in his life hated him and never wanted to see him again. He’d be better off without him, Carlos knew, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. And if Jay left, chances are Mal and Evie would too. That’s his family, what was he going to do without him. He’d be left alone. And what’s the point of living when you’re alone?

His irrational thoughts and lowered impulse control decided that the best solution to keep everybody happy was to end it all now. Nobody would have to worry about him anymore, and he wouldn’t have to feel like a burden or be left alone. It seemed like a win-win situation to him.

He sat frozen for a couple minutes, which felt like six hours to him, trying to find the strength within himself to reach over under the sink where he kept his box of razors. Once he finally started to move, he was met with something pushing his arm back. Too afraid to open his eyes and discover what was stopping him, he pulled his hand back and ignored it, hoping if he did then it would go away. When he tried to reach out again, he was met with the same force. Not wanting to open his eyes, because opening his eyes meant accepting reality, he tried to feel for whatever was in front of him. When he felt something warm he pulled his hand back as quick as he could and hid it under the blanket with the rest of his body.

“What are you reaching for? Let me help you, just tell me what I can do for you.” Carlos flinched when he heard the familiar voice so close to him. He tried to back away from it, but his back was already against the wall. He knew he was in this room alone, he had to be. He checked behind the shower curtain and under the sink before he locked, then unlocked, then locked, then unlocked, then locked the door. Even in this state, that annoying part of his brain that makes him do such ridiculous things still wouldn’t leave him alone.

He was alone, he was sure of that. Which meant his brain was making this up. He’s been in this situation before. He was sure that if he opened his eyes right now, his boyfriend would not be in front of him. He knew exactly who would be there instead, and he couldn’t handle seeing her right now.

If he could just reach under the fucking sink, this would all be over. “Carlos! Can you hear me? I know you want me to leave you alone when you’re like this, but I’m worried about you.” Jay tried to reach out to touch the younger boy but instantly regretted it when all the strength in the younger boy was being used to kick and scream back at him.

“You can’t be here! Leave me alone!” Carlos went from angry to crying in a matter of seconds, “Please don’t hurt me.” His voice was so small and scared and all Jay wanted to do was hug him and absorb all the sadness and hurt in him. He wanted to take it all away, even if it meant he had to feel it himself. But that wasn’t possible and he knew that, so he needed to focus on getting Carlos out of his head and back into the real world.

“Carlos, nobody is going to hurt you. Please just open your eyes. It’s Jay, I’m the only person here and you know I would never hurt you.” Jay reached out to touch his hand and when the other boy didn’t put up a fight, he pulled him into his lap and held him as tight as he could. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but it was long enough for the younger boy’s breathing to slow down and his tears to dry. Once he was sure Carlos was fast asleep, Jay carried him back to his own bed. Once the boy was lying down, he made a second trip back to the bathroom to retrieve the blankets that still lie on the bathroom floor. Bringing them back, he covered the boy with them, careful not to wake him up.

~

Carlos woke up with a headache, not remembering anything after Mal and Evie left last night. Looking out the window, he was surprised to see the world so bright. Was it afternoon already? Did he really sleep half the day away? He sighed and stretched his body, the sooner he got some ibuprofen in his system, the sooner the pain in his head would go away. When he went to stand, he was stopped by a pair of strong arms pulling him back.

He twisted his body around so that he was face to face with his boyfriend. But something was off… were those tear stains? Had Jay been crying? There was no way, Jay almost never cried.

Jay was awoken by the movement. Groaning he opened his eyes, not ready for the bright light he was met with. Once he saw Carlos was awake too, he immediately switched back into caretaker mode. “Are you okay?” Carlos asked him, looking worried. Why did he look so worried? Jay’s the one that should be worried! Was Jay doing something wrong? Oh no, he couldn’t let this happen, he had to fix this.

“I’m fine, why would you ask that?” Before Carlos had time to answer he had dozens more questions being shot at him, “Do you need anything? How long have you been awake? Did you eat yet?”

“Jay, what’s up with you?” Carlos asked as he watched his boyfriend stand up out of bed and start pacing around the room.

“So… you’re fine?” he asked pausing at the foot of the bed.

“Yeah?” It came out as more of a question that a definitive answer. “I mean, my head hurts pretty bad but that’s probably because you let me sleep all day.” Then he stood up and made his way to get some ibuprofen.

Jay stared at the empty bed for a moment, trying to decide if he should be worried about Carlos acting so normal after one of the worst attacks he’s seen him have. When he came to the conclusion that he probably didn’t remember any of the events from earlier that day, which wouldn’t be the first time he forgot one of his attacks, he decided it was best to not mention it. Making Carlos relive that wouldn’t be good on him, and it would probably freak him out that he had forgotten such a long period of time.

~

“Evie wants to go back to the isle.” Both of the boys laughed at Mal’s statement. “I’m serious!” She said, annoyed that they thought she was joking. “It was all she could talk about last night when we got back to our room. She misses the weather, which is insane, because who would want to be cold? Ayway, I’m not gonna let her go back alone and I don’t think any of us are gonna be able to stop her.”

“We all agreed not to go back there before the barrier was taken down,” Carlos siad, barely above a whisper. When Jay and Mal looked over to him, surprised that he would get involved when he usually avoided conflicts at all costs, he looked to the ground to avoid meeting their eyes.

“It’s not like we’re moving back there, she just wants to go back for a little bit, do a little bit of sightseeing, and come back.”

“What ‘sights’ are there to see? Everything’s broken down and gross, nothing any of us didn’t spend most of lives looking at,” Jay shot back. “Have you thought about what would happen if either of your parents found out you were there?”

“I’m not stupid, Jay! We’ll be careful. And even if they did find out, I know how to fight for myself! I’m not as weak as you think I am.”

“You’re acting like going back to the place that traumatized you is a casual after school activity! You don’t want to go back there anymore than we do, you just want to make her happy. Stop down playing it and tell her no!” Jay said, raising his voice.

“Can you two please stop fighting!” It came out as more of a demand than a question, and that shocked the other two. Carlos never raised his voice like this. Jay knew something was going on with him but he didn’t have time to worry about that right now. Right now, he needed to worry about stopping his friends from putting themselves in danger.

Deciding to deal with Carlos later, he turned his attention back to Mal. “You two are not going over there alone! You want to go? Fine. But I’m coming with you. Whether you like it or not.”

Mal stormed out of the room and Jay took a couple deep breaths before turning around to find Carlos with his hands over his ears and his head between his knees. “‘Los? Are you okay?” He walked over and reached out to touch his shoulder.

“I don’t want you to go. Mal and Evie too. All of you. I want you to stay here.” Carlos raised his head up to reveal the tears running down his face.

Jay had enough of this, he’s seen too much crying from the younger boy in the past 24 hours. He needs to fix this. He sat down next to the boy and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “I can’t let them know go alone, you know that. I don’t think the two most stubborn people we know are going to change their minds.”

“Maybe they won’t, but if you all go and something happens, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.”

~

“Promise me you’ll like me know if it’s too much,” Jay said, shutting the back door of the car after Evie got in.

“Yes, I promise. Can we go now? I kind of want to get this over with as soon as possible,” Carlos said getting into the passenger’s side of the car.

Jay got into the driver’s seat, giving one last smile to his boyfriend before turning his attention to the road. The four of them rode in silence across the bridge and waited until the car was parked. Mal and Evie were the first to get out, promising to call if they needed help before running off.

Jay sat waiting for Carlos to make e move to get out of the car. After a couple minutes Jay looked over to find Carlos fidgeting with his fingers. “We can just wait in the car, we don’t have to get out if you don’t want to.” Carlos smiled to himself and nodded, still looking down at his fingers.

They sat in comfortable silence waiting for any sign that the girls were in trouble. Jay turned on the radio leaning his head back against the headrest while humming to himself. When he opened his eyes again, he noticed the piles of snow sitting around the parking lot.

He smiled over at his boyfriend, remembering all the snowball fights they used to have, and chasing each other in the snow after long days. He missed all the good times they used to have together in the snow. “Come on,” he said, opening his door.

“Hm?” Carlos responded, looking over.

“Get out, we’re not gonna sit here and be miserable the whole time.” He stood up and poked his head back in. “I’m serious, let’s go.” He shut the door, grabbing some snow and throwing it over the car as Carlos got out, just missing his head.

“Oh, you’re on,” Carlos said ducking down and picking up some snow before running around the car and attacking the older boy with snowballs.

The spent the next 30 minutes running around the parking lot trying to hit each other with snowballs. When he noticed Carlos starting to get cold and tired, he pulled the blanket he kept in the back seat out and wrapped it around the younger boy’s shoulders. Carlos smiled up at him as a silent ‘thank you’.

If Jay wasn’t so focused on not being able to feel his fingers, he could get lost in the boy’s eyes. Jay wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pushed him back against the car, leaning down to kiss him. When they pulled away, Carlos smiled again. “I love you, Jay, but it’s freezing. Can we wait in the car?”

[littlebabycrybtch]

ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.

[citrus-feline]

good ideas for society dont work cuz there are people who will take advantage of the goodness in other people’s hearts. thats why i want to live on a small island with people who won’t be shitty and destroy everything through their selfishness. the problem of these concepts isn’t the concept itself but the people who take advantage of it. things would be so much easier if people were just nice and thought about others instead of just themselves. but that can’t work because of how so many people aren’t that way. the reason it goes to shit is because awful people do awful things knowing full well they are awful!!! its not a flaw of the concept its a flaw in the people involved!!! thats why we cant be fucking accepting of every single idea we hear. some go waaay too fucking far and that needs to be shut down or whomp whomp our government formed for peace and freedom is now taken over by shit heads calling for genocide. when ppl give communism shit i just wonder if they think that the problem is the thing itself. cuz most do. people think communism is evil and disgusting. thru like all of high school all i heard about it was “it looks good on paper but not in practice��� okay? but why?? why can’t that translation be made? the answer is... SHITTY PEOPLE!!!!!! EVERYTHING WOULD BE BETTER IF THEY DIDN’T BE SHITTY BUT WOAH THERE THEY GO!!!!!!!! stuff goes to shit in history with that kinda thing because the original intentions for equality and fairness is kicked down by someone who can’t fathom being nice to anyone ever and cant stand the idea of being equal to others. people who go grabbing at power like that in a society where there isn’t SUPPOSED to be power are shitty, awful, disgusting people who ruin the entire concept. we should just go back to having villages, man. that’s so much easier to handle. you got big ass societies like this fuck hole and you can’t keep track of fucking anyone unless u r the big bad gobernment owo!!!!

theres too many fuckin people in every given place, dude. look at chicago. and even in such a dense place the contrast in people is so fucking noticeable. like homeless people out in the freezing cold begging for food money a block down from where a big ass fancy apartment building is that is sooo rich that it plays on that “futuristic” “totally clean” aesthetic. man fuck that. fuck that so much. some ppl confuse me so fuckin much with how they can’t fathom equality. how they are scared of it. how they think that the younger generations of today starting to move in that direction shows how “evil” they are. no! fuck off!! that’s the exact opposite of the intentions here!!!! is it so bad to want everyone to have a home and food on the table every night?!?! if u really feel the need to be better than others then cool good for fuckin you yknow how you do that? idk fuckin save up ur money to buy a cool car or something. fuckin whatever. as long as there arent people on the fucking streets and people going without food or healthcare. why is that such a fucking crazy concept to some of yall!!!!! humans are supposed to be kindhearted and look out for each other but so many of us have lost that to this competitive and toxic society we grew up in!!!!!!! just fuckin think about what it would be like to be in someone else’s shoes for a sec! like idk about u but i ask people in similar situations like me what they would do if they suddenly won the lottery and got tons of money and the answer 98% of the time is “help provide for people i care about and make their lives livable.” kind people exist dude!!! we are all fuckin here! rich people take advantage of others, if they acknowledge it  or not!! the system is bent and twisted so they can get to that completely different life style compared to everyone else!!! that shouldnt be a thing! that shouldnt be celebrated!!! even with the “good ones” that donate money, they are still fuckin up there. so it doesn’t maaatter. having differences in wages can be fine if its small differences and even the ppl at the bottom are able to live safely but thats not how it is rn. if those “good” rich ppl care sooo much about people in poverty rn then why are they still rich?? like im not even fucking kidding rn if i won the lottery or some shit i would try to provide a nice home for me and my boyfriend and it would be humble and comfy and enough that we wouldnt have to worry. the rest would go in savings and go to people who need it. the concept of so much excess money is so fucking stupid to me. savings are important but that isn’t savings thats sitting on a resource that people would kill each other for just so you can feel better than others. “look at all this money i have!!! oh? am i going to use it for anything? well. some things. but mostly just  having it so i feel better than everyone else”

augh

its annoying dude

i literally had a convo with my brother yesterday and he said his goal in life is to be able to provide for his family. that is so fucking kind and sweet?? he works two jobs and i dont really see him much cuz he works so much. and that’s his thoughts when he’s working. he has a tendency to blow things out of proportion and have expectations way too high and yet despite that he still has this capacity to be a kind person. hmm. perhaps thats how all people should be??? everyone should have room for kindness in their hearts even with differences in personality??? like why is it so stupid for me to say that!!! “oh niko ur ignoring how the real world is ooohhh ur just making things seem worse by wanting the best” FUCK OFF!!! i want the best for people because i think humanity has a capacity to be kind and help each other!!! yeah i obviously cant do fuckin anything about that with how i am rn cuz i have like $20 in my savings rn but come the fuck on!!! dude! why am i a radical for thinking people deserve things???? why am i suddenly a bad person for saying that i think people should be equal? like of course its not that easy for yall it has to become a long ass conversation about how im shitty because blah blah blah and in history blah blah blah okay but bitch!! you aren’t LISTENING to me!!! humans are creatures with needs!!! if we are a society the goal should be to meet those needs!!! i shouldnt be fucking scared of my government!!! i shouldnt be fucking scared of the system that is supposed to protect me!! and yet i am cuz i feel like im just a number to them!!!! that’s all i fuckin feel like i am!! i try to be a kind person and im not sure why im given so much shit for that!!! everyone deserves food and water and a home!!!!! why is that so weird to say?! im just frustrated how people can think that! im a bad person for wanting people to be better off?? okay???? but... how? because my ideals are similar to an outline that hasnt worked in the past due to BAD PEOPLE taking ADVANTAGE of the kindness that others give? wow! doesn’t really fuckin sound like its MY problem!!! sounds like its the shitty people who are the problem!!!!!!

>:/

[taehyung-the-baehyung]

82 Truths

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

tagged by: @bangbangbangtanx

Sit back and relax, fam. This is a long one....

name: kavya blood type: B+ nickname(s): kav, kavs, kayak r/s: married to kim taehyung (single and always have been rip me) zodiac sign: leo 🦁 pronouns: she/her/hers favorite tv shows: F.R.I.E.N.D.S, White Collar, Merlin, Sherlock, Grey’s Anatomy, Gossip Girl long or short hair: long hair; i’ve never cut my hair more than 2 inches cause i always get scared  height: 5′4″ (~163cm) do you have a crush on someone: kim taehyung, jackson wang, and bang yongguk 😁 what do you like about yourself: i self-reflect a lot so i’m pretty much always in tune with my emotions and thoughts; i usually can figure out why i feel a certain way or did a certain something and quickly fix or just simply understand it and i think it helps in situations like social drama/conflicts, etc. right or left handed: left list of three favourite colors: purple, mint/teal, periwinkle

right now: eating: nothing  drinking: water i’m about to: go to the gym listening to: Day6′s “I’m Serious” kids: i’m only 18 fam, but one day, hopefully!  get married: it’s down the line, no rush career: i’m in school for a BBA (bachelor in business administration) and then i’ll go to grad school to get an MBA concentrated in human resources 

most recent: drink: tropical green iced tea phone call: my dad to tell him where the best place to was park the car was to meet me for lunch at the campus dining hall song you listened to: Got7′s “Never Ever”

have you ever: dated someone twice: i’ve never dated anyone been cheated on: before BTS i used to be super obsessed with Tom Hiddleston and then when he started dating Taylor the Snake i felt betrayed kissed someone and regretted it: i have no experience in this life rip lost someone special: i had to prioritize my pride and self-respect and stopped talking to someone who was(and maybe still is?) really important to me and it’s still sort of a bitter wound been depressed: after i saw bangtan live in real life in person physically like actually in front of me and then i had to pretend i was okay and a normal functioning human being been drunk and thrown up: nah i’ve gotten tipsy at best but then i didn’t want to spend more money on shitty frat mix alcohol kissed a stranger: nope had glasses or contacts: glasses  had sex on the first date: again, never dated / been on a date with anyone broken someone’s heart: this guy in my junior year of high school was suuuuper into me and got really clingy (and touchy- big no no) and i may or may not have gotten spooked and ghosted him over the summer and then i texted him the day before our first day of senior year and was like im so sorry but im not into you TLDR; maybe? turned someone down: see above cried when someone died: i cry whenever other people cry so absolutely fallen for a friend: what?who?me?pssht!no.wdym.lol (yes)

in the last year have you: made a new friend: yesss fallen out of love: i’ve only ever been in love with kim taehyung and how dare you question my love for him laughed until you cried: i do this frequently met someone who changed you: doesn’t everyone you meet change you?  found out who your true friends were: always the hard way found out someone was talking about you: literally just had the biggest (and pettiest) drama of my life because of this and it has happened to me numerous times in high school as well RIPME kissed someone on your fb list: nada

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes hugs or kisses: hugs shorter or taller: taller romantic or spontaneous: both, dont make me choose pls sensitive or loud: sensitive hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker but tbh i am the latter

first: best friend: my mom and her friend were pregnant at the same time and my best friend is still that other little beb surgery: when i was 9 i got my retinal hole lasered sport i joined: ice skating! but then i stopped and i wish i didn’t :(  vacation: my entire life, my parents told me that we’d never go to disneyland cause i “already went” (when i was 3 months old) 

do you believe in: yourself: not always, but often enough? miracles: bangtan exists despite the darkness and ugliness of this world so like love at first sight: no but i’m inclined to believe in soulmates (but i don’t believe that we have only one) heaven: okay but have you ever been to a Coldstone creamery?

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: i’m actually one of those weird people who won’t accept your friend request unless we’re ACTUALLY friends irl / have had decent conversations at the very least do you have any pets: nope; i’ve always wanted a bunny but their cages smell  do you want to change your name: never! what did you do for your last birthday: my entire family + extended family (~30-40 people) surprised me and we had a lot of food  what time did you wake up today: i woke up at like 8 but i didn’t get out of bed until 10 what were you doing last night at midnight: watching 13 Reasons Why something you can’t wait for: the semester to end last time you saw your mom: about three hours ago what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i have so many filters up in my head and it often prevents me from being fun; i’m too maternal for my own good and i need to let loose  have you ever talked to a person named tom: this is so random lol but yes what’s getting on your nerves: i have a pile of laundry that i need to fold but i don’t want to fold it

tagging: @dyeob @madwomancrazylady @yeppeosseo @jinxkook @hot-chocolatae @kimbtstaehyung and anyone else who wants to do it; but also i 100% feel you if you don’t want to do something this long, so as per usual, NO PRESSURE!

[die-a-betic]

Thank @eyesforguyswithcurlyfries for tagging me.

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Definitely

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? I guess?

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? When i got back from barcelona. 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? allllll the time. 5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Who doesn’t want to be in my place? ;) 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? Yeah, father and son from the GOTG soundtrack. 7. What exactly are you wearing right now? New top with shorts and socks. Its 3am why am i still wearing yesterdays clothes. 8. How often do you listen to music? on the way to and from work and sometimes at work, also when walking. 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? jeans 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013? 2018? I dont think dramatically. 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? Very social.  12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? Yeah, I was their first kiss accidentally oops @lxvedlikethis   13. What about ‘R’? Yea boi 14. Can you drive a stick shift? getting there! 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? Depends who they are. 16. Are you going out of town soon? Out of my town? Im going to Harrogate and York at the end of the month if that counts? 17. When was the last time you cried? Last week i think? 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? Every day. 19. If you could change your eye color, would you? Nah 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? I dont think so? 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. Felt pretty ill today 22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? Not really. 23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? Nope just my shitty pal Callum 24. What are you sitting on right now? Desk chair. 25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? Mairona. 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Yea boiiii 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? Mairona or my Mum? 28. Do you get a lot of colds? Not really? 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? Mango Barcelona :) 30. Does anyone hate you? Nah 31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? Probably? 32. Do you like watching scary movies? Yesss 33. Do you want your tongue pierced? Definitely not. 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 2014 35. Did you have a dream last night? Yep  36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Few hours ago. 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Possibly 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? Yea boiii 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Everybody is asleep.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday? Wasnt too bad, really good weather and back to work and time there went quickly 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? Yea boiii 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? Yes 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yeaaaa 44. What’s the best part about school? The people. 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? Yeah 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? I pass sticky notes to my workmates. 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? Try not to but sometimes things stick. 48. Were you single over the last summer? Nah :))))))))) 49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Absolutely not. My friends, situation and relationships with family have completely changed, my outlook on life has changed and my ambitions and plans have completely changed. All for the better, thanks to M. 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? Sleeping. (This line sums up my life) 51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? Definitely. 52. Are you nice to everyone? Most people. 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yes lol 54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Definitely. 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Not on purpose. 56. Do you think you like someone? Indeed. 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? Yeahhhh 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? Basically equal at this point. 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? A few 60. Do you hate anyone? One person but im trying desperately not to because i shouldnt. and maybe hitler? 61. How’s your heart? Fantastic and owned. 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? 3 things. 63. Have you ever cried over a guy? Sort of? 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? Finlay Lowes or Callum, in his sleep. 65. Are your toenails painted pink? Noooooo dont like nail paint, anything but nail paint, nail me to a wall before you paint my nails. Im fine with makeup or anything, just not nailpaint. 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? Nope. 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? Is this aimed at girls? My girlfriend likes the intimacy and openness. 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? Yes! My button ripped off my jeans once at an acting class and my jeans kept falling down and i full on had to hold them up. 69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? Mother. 70. How do you look right now? not ma best - Tired and snotty. 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? Yeah, M. 72. Can you commit to one person? Completely. 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? Yes, unless i forget. 74. Have you ever felt replaced? Yeah. Dont leave school unless you’re prepared for this 75. Did you wake up cranky? Not cranky but ill so sort of? 76. Are you a jealous person? Can be. 77. Are relationships ever worth it? The most rewarding thing I have ever had. 78. Anyone you’re giving up on? Not giving up. 79. Currently wanting to see anyone? YES 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? Probs should do some work. 81. Last person you cried in front of? M 82. Is there someone you will never forget? Dr Bruce, Mairona, Callum, I hope all of my friends but thats not likely. 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? Yeahhh 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? Probably dancing or watching her dance or watching shitty tv or having sex or sleeping. 85. Are you over your past? Yes 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? Yes 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? yes unless i forget. 88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? No need to apologise. 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? Yes 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Nah 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? Im sure. 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? Haha yeah  93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? Mightve? 94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? Yeah, was a rough patch I think 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? Yes and I still am 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? The most gorgeous and perfect girl in the world. 97. Who do you have texts from? many people ? Mairona, Mum, Dad and the group chats. 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? :( 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yep 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? Nobodyyyy 101. Ever kissed under fireworks? I think so actually @eyesforguyswithcurlyfries when we had them in your garden? 102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? Yep