#this is the most insufferably soft playlist i have ever made

[melisusthewee]

WIP WEDNESDAY

You saw nothing with the previous post lol. Fumbling around with HTML code in Tumblr is an exercise in futility because half the time the codes just... don't work.

Anyway! I know I've been tagged in a lot of WIPs and whatnot lately and share posts and I see them and I appreciate them and love them! But I have been so busy with... stuff, that I haven't had a lot of time to create anything just for myself.

But today and yesterday I was working on a playlist to accompany one of the longer fics I've been working on. It's a lot of fun to just think about characters and the sounds that suit them and stitching together something that tells a story. So here is what I have so far - a softer epilogue for The Babies(TM).

Tagging with no obligation all the lovelies: @greypetrel @ndostairlyrium @theluckywizard @n7viper @dreadfutures @nirikeehan @sulky-valkyrie @thraaaaaaaanduuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiil @unnecessaryligatures and YOU!

[kottekonst]

Birthday Fanfic - Soft 14

Diving headfirst into Tumblr by posting the little birthday fanfic I wrote for my bestie @davidtennan-t Because she deserves all the soft 14th Doctor content 💖

Ten glorious months had passed since the Doctor had bi-generated, and subsequently sent his 14th regeneration into not-quite-retirement, or perhaps more aptly a retreat-for-emotionally-damaged-time-travellers. Time was a funny thing for anyone to grasp, and even though the Doctor had lived seemingly for eons, he suddenly found himself with oodles of spare time – a concept he had never experienced nor grasped before. He was still struggling to adjust to it, and the restlessness could make him absolutely insufferable at times. Donna had never seen someone illustrate the idiom “climbing the walls” literally before, but if she’d ever expect it of someone it would only be her freakishly nimble Spaceman.

During the first couple of months, she would often find him out in the shed in the dead of night tinkering with everything from a Silurian hibernation unit to model aircrafts, or in the kitchen experimenting with the ideal pH-level for water to make the perfect brew. Other times he would be sat next to Rose either deep in the most random conversation, or complete silence, or listening to one of her playlists, while he handed her tools and materials to put together her latest design. Her gonks had changed since she let go of the lingering Meta-Crisis, but she kept coming up with new ideas, some that Donna heavily suspected were inspired by actual aliens from trips they kept sneaking off to. Truthfully, Donna simply loved the fact that her daughter was able to explore time and space as she had once done, but she was also very protective of her. The universe could be an incredibly dangerous place, but there was no one she trusted more when it came to protection than the Doctor.

After a couple of months, the Doctor had finally started unwinding. His restlessness declined and the lines in his face became softer as the broodiness eased up, and he would often sleep through the night rather than tinker or aimlessly wander. He rarely spoke of his experiences during the time they had been apart, but he would bring something up on occasion to any of them. He and Wilf seemed to have a special understanding, as they had both experienced their fair share of battles. The bond between Donna and the Doctor went far beyond words though, and while there were times when they spoke endlessly and tirelessly, they often sat in comfortable silence. It wasn't uncommon for the Time Lord to seek Donna out for a comforting hug, or he would wordlessly take a seat next to her and curl his skinny frame up against her, with a sigh as deep as the Universe.

 The Doctor was slowly healing from his trauma, which in turn made their whole little household more harmonic. It was only in the last month or so that Donna noticed another sign of healing in the Time Lord. His hollow cheeks had filled out not long after settling down, but now she realised he was actually filling out in other ways. Those tight suits were looking tighter still these days, and his lower shirt buttons were definitely struggling to contain a certain softness that had never been there before. It didn't surprise her, but she could tell the Doctor was oblivious to it, initially at least. Even though he still had the energy of a toddler on a sugar high, his days of endless running and fleeing were done, and retirement came with creature comforts the Doctor had never been able to partake in before now. There was suddenly time for three course dinners, or meals that lasted hours, not to mention countless cups of tea and biscuits. It wasn't just meals shared with friends and newfound family - the Doctor became rather popular in the village, particularly the sweet old lady in the house next door. He had started doing odd jobs for her the day he moved in and to show her gratitude and appreciation she would make muffins, cakes, and sugary biscuits, meaning his larder was always stocked with freshly baked goods. One might even suspect she was actively trying to fatten him up, since she kept fussing and fretting over his skinny frame, and Donna didn’t blame her – his gaunt appearance had been rather harrowing when he’d finally conceded to settling down. The soft roll that had slowly formed around the Time Lord’s waist was a testament to the healing and decompressing he’d experienced thus far, and it was honestly reassuring to see it.

To a stranger’s eye, the Doctor would probably still appear as lean or lanky, but to those who knew him there was no denying the subtle changes. A few weeks ago, the Time Lord had finally caught up with it himself, and the realisation hit him when he encountered two issues at once. Firstly; he tore a button off in his struggle to button up his shirt, and secondly; he couldn’t get his trousers closed and zipped up either. He had marched in on the family eating breakfast, wearing only a vest and boxers, ranting and raving about this perplexing issue. They had all sprung into action in their own ways, showing support and patience for the brilliant yet simultaneously dim alien. Rose had wordlessly taken the Doctor’s trousers and went straight to her craft room to let them out enough to make them wearable, until he could get himself a new pair. Shaun had gone to his closet to pick out one of his own shirts, which certainly wouldn’t be a perfect fit, but would definitely be big enough for the Time Lord. That left Donna, and Wilf to a lesser extent, with the task of explaining the changes that had been so obvious to everyone but the Doctor. He had been relentlessly running for so long that the consequences of not doing so had clearly slipped his mind, and it was evident that the notion of putting on weight both intrigued him and irked him simultaneously. Now that he’d settled into a routine, the Doctor was less apt at dealing with changes, either for good or bad. There was also a certain vanity that came with being a Time Lord, but it had certainly lessened with this regeneration, and Donna couldn’t help but smirk to herself when she thought how the Doctor might have reacted to putting on a few back when they’d first travelled together.

“You definitely need some meat on your bones, Doctor – frankly, you’ve earned it,” Wilf insisted robustly.

“He’s right, you know. This is nothing but a bit of comfort weight,” Donna reiterated.

“I don’t know… it just makes me feel so…” the Doctor faltered, unable to find the right word.

“…human? Normal? At peace, at long last?” Donna suggested. She noticed him making the tiniest of grimaces at the first word, and she couldn’t help but give him a playful glare – as much as he loved humanity, he still found it hard to fully embrace anything human about himself, which only made it easier to tease him.

“Oh, stop sulking, you big dunce. If I threw a fit every time the scale didn’t show the number I’d like, Shaun would have walked out within our first week together. That tiny excuse for a belly would hardly even be enough for three Adipose, you know,” she remarked, which made them both chuckle reminiscently.

Since that morning, the Doctor had grudgingly allowed the TARDIS automated tailoring unit to alter his suits, but it certainly improved his comfort levels. He didn't alter the trousers that Rose had let out for him as her work was impeccable, and the gesture meant the world to him. Donna had even seen him lovingly stroking the fine stitches at the waistband, which nearly made her burst into tears out of love for the alien uncle's adoration of his human niece.

Just before the weekend, Rose had begged her parents to let the doctor take her for a quick visit to Greece. She had desperately wanted to see the Acropolis, but Donna didn't want her messing about with time, so they had compromised and allowed them to go to modern day Greece. They were only gone for half an hour that Saturday, but had spent an equivalent of 6 hours in Athens. Apart from visiting the ruins of the Acropolis, they had done some shopping, or rather, Rose had. No matter how much Donna tried to discourage it, the Doctor wouldn't stop spoiling his niece. And she was thankfully too sweet to take advantage of him… at least most of the time. She had picked out two dresses and a lush fabric for her sewing projects, and even managed to convince the Doctor to buy himself a new pair of swim trunks as well as vegan moussaka for the whole family’s supper. As it turned out, that wasn't the only thing they'd ended up bringing home.

“That is not what I think it is,” Donna protested when they exited the TARDIS.

“We couldn't leave him, Mum. He was nearly run over by a car, but the Doctor saved him,” insisted Rose, who was clutching a tiny ginger kitten to her chest.

Donna turned her pointed gaze on the Time Lord, who merely shrugged helplessly.

“I might not be the biggest cat lover, but I couldn't let the poor beast get squished,” he said.

“I'm not saying you should have let it die, but you can’t let her drag home every bedraggled creature you happen upon, or you’ll have to turn the whole village into a sanctuary for kittens, Oods, and God knows what else,” Donna sighed in exasperation.

“You got to keep your bedraggled alien,” Rose pointed out with a cheeky expression.

“Oi, don’t get snippy with me, missy. Now you’d better sort out a flea bath for that baby – we can’t do with an infestation on our hands… again,” Donna ordered.

Rose merely giggled as she handed the small creature over to the Time Lord, while she hurried for the gate – the old lady next door had plenty of flea shampoo to spare, as they’d found out after a particularly hairy alien (quite reminiscent of a certain Meep) had paid them a visit… and brought along a few unwelcome pests. The Doctor held the tiny cat as if it was a very delicate, yet also repulsive, figurine.

“What is this strange aversion you have to cats?” Donna chuckled at his perturbed expression.

“Not sure… suppose it’s got something to do with their glands,” he muttered.

Donna merely shook her head and stooped to pick up the shopping that had been left just outside the TARDIS to bring it inside. 

Within the hour, Rose had managed to give the kitten a bath and its first meal. It had also knocked over two potted plants, gnawed a hole in one of Wilf’s slippers, and caused the Doctor to curse loudly in Gallifreyan as it used his long leg as a climbing pole while the Time Lord was trying to reheat the moussaka. By supper time, she had set up a playpen for it, so they could all enjoy their meal together without the ginger furnado causing mayhem around them. Once they had enjoyed their Greek cuisine, Rose turned her attention back on the kitten, while Donna took care of the dishes. By the time she had finished wiping the kitchen down, she went to see how her daughter was getting on with her new pet but was surprised to find Rose by herself in her craft room.

“Where did you put that kitten then?” Donna wondered.

“I asked the Doctor to keep an eye on him – I forgot I had a deadline to keep,” Rose replied and gestured to the purple gonk sat on her desk.

“If that’s going to be your pet, you’ll need to be responsible for it, love – no handing it off the moment you get too busy, that’s not how animals work,” Donna pointed out.

“Oh Mum… you honestly thought I kept that cat just for me?” Rose chuckled as she turned to focus on her sewing.

Donna was about to argue since it was evident the Doctor really didn’t care much for the critter, but there was a knowing sort of gleam in her daughter’s eyes that made her curious.

“All right, if you say so. We were thinking of watching a film later, if you’d care to join us,” she said.

“Thanks – if I get this finished I might take you up on that,” Rose replied. 

Donna left the craft room behind and decided to see how the Doctor was getting on with the furry menace. His bedroom was empty, but she hadn’t expected him to bring the kitten in there anyway, and so she headed to the first floor sitting room next. There was the Time Lord and the ginger beast, but not in a position she had expected. The alien was sat on the sofa, long legs sprawled over the floor, his body slumped against the cushions in a deep sleep. His head was tilted back, his mouth slightly agape as he breathed calmly and steadily. On his ever so slightly rounded middle lay the kitten, curled into a tiny ball of soft fur and whiskers, also deep in sleep. The sight was almost too endearing to handle – Donna nearly wept at it. This was all she’d ever wanted for her best friend… A life of love and comfort, with friends and family ever present. For him to be safe, to be saved, but her daughter had spotted a different need; the Doctor’s need to save others. A kitten might not compare to rescuing an entire town, planet or species, but it was a life saved all the same. Donna carefully pulled out her phone to snap a picture of the picturesque scene, before taking a seat across from the snoozing Time Lord. The sound of her movement caused him to stir, and he slowly came to with a yawn.

“Looks like you’ve gotten soft, Spaceman… in more ways than one,” Donna teased him fondly.

The Doctor blinked sleepily at her, before peering down at the kitten still sleeping soundly on his recently softened middle.

“I suppose once you look past the glands they may not be so bad after all,” he conceded with a crooked smile.

“That niece of yours has got you wrapped around her little finger, you know,” she remarked.

“She does. I am helpless against her charm,” he chuckled.

“You’re both absolutely hopeless,” Donna pointed out.

“I’d say she gets it from her mother,” the Doctor retorted, while he gestured for Donna to join him, since he was reluctant to shift his position even slightly. She had long since stopped second guessing what anyone else might make of their physical closeness – if it didn’t bother her husband, what did it even matter? So she didn’t hesitate to switch seats and settle down next to the Time Lord, where he instantly let himself sink down further until he could nussle his head up against her shoulder. Donna reached out and stroked the tiny ginger furball, and the kitten instantly started purring in its sleep. There they sat in comfortable silence, Spaceman and Earthgirl, and all was well.

[bloody-fate]

tagged by @thechurchofsplatterdaysaints and tagging @phantom-kitten, @berserker-gene, @hellonursevenus, @soft-lunar-rose, @booger-sinclaire, and anyone else who would like to play!

Do you make your bed?

No, life's too short to worry about that or anyone who judges you for not!

Fave number?

probably 77 or 25, this last road trip for work made me realize I'm either an amateuer numerologist or maybe mildly OCD because I'd rather keep the stereo, cruise control, and AC at a number that "feels right" than something more practical

What’s your job?

Coast-to-Coast Construction Goon! In a lot of ways, it's my favorite job I've had so far, but being on the road for weeks can be excruciating. Every job is something new in a new place, so it's hard to get bored, but there's way worse things than being bored such as missing your cat.

Go back to school?

At this point, I don't know what I'd go back for. Def don't have the time or the money but cosmetology school may be cool. I got 3/4s of a journalism degree before seeing the going rate for a magazine editor being a $500 a month stipend and realizing I made that working stoned overnights at IHOP in a week, but! you don't need to go to school to learn something, you just need to go to get a degree and I definitely want to always be learning and growing and expanding my horizons. I believe that you start getting old when you stop being curious about the world.

Can you parallel park?

Oh yeah, spending the better part of your 20s delivering pizzas in Chicago will teach you lots of tricks.

Job you had that would surprise people?

Personal nurse, I guess? Did it through the state for a friend for a year while they were recovering from cancer. I guess it would be surprising only bc it's one of the few non-food or customer service gigs I've had.

Aliens real?

Statistically they have to be, but I don't think they built the pyramids or anything like that because we don't give them any good reasons to stick around and hang out. I believe everything in the world is magic and science is the process by which that magic becomes mundane and that aliens, cryptids, and other paranormal stuff is just stuff we don't have the tools to figure out yet.

Can you drive stick?

I get it in theory but never tried outside of Ridge Racer.

Guilty pleasure?

You're supposed to live life guilt free and seek pleasure in all things, hope this helps!

Tattoos?

Got a lot of em, one of my oldest friends from back home learned how to tattoo on me and is now a bigshot international tattoo playboy. Money was really tight for a few years and now my guy and I are too busy to coordinate an appointment, but I used to go at least once every month. Still got some pieces and spots I wanna cover. Last one I got was a beholder above my left hand!

Fave color?

Purple for so many reasons! It's my mom's favorite too and I love the smell of lavender, love seeing it in flowers and other natural things, love Prince and grape flavored anything!

Fave type of music?

Any and all, but punk has always had my heart and soul. Been going to punk shows since I was a wee babby and worked at multiple record stores, so I'm insufferable. The guitarist from Melt-Banana is probably one of the greatest living musical geniuses. Finally gave The Cramps a fair listen and I really dig them. Also this account believes Utada Hikaru is a living legend! Revisited Godspeed You, Black Emperor recently and I think they're one of the most important bands to ever live. Lately been digging Teengenerate, The Osees, Slowdive, Show Me The Body, and the new albums from JPEGMAFIA and Clairo! Send me your fall playlist and I'll send you mine!!

Do you like puzzles?

Not like putting pieces together picture puzzles, but I get a kick out of riddles and word puzzles. Had a coworker at the pizza place who knew a bunch off the top of his head and I got pretty good at figuring them out. Also sometimes my job feels like a less lethal version of a Silent Hill or Resident Evil puzzle so there's that.

Phobias?

Heights, flying, I have a reoccurring dream of driving up a really steep and narrow bridge that just ends before I can see over the top of the curve and I go over the edge, so I get real nervous and quiet when driving over them in real life in case the dream is prophetic.

Favorite childhood sport?

Skateboarding? not really a sport, but I have asthma what do you want from me? my friends in high school also had this game called Dodge the Bat we'd play whenever we were walking around the neighborhood where you'd take a metal bat and yell "DODGE THE BAT!" before throwing it at a group of our friends and everyone would just scatter. Even less of a sport.

Talk to yourself?

Constantly, though masking in public has helped a constant self-mumbler like myself look way saner lately.

Movies you adore?

So many! The Shape of Water is probably my all time fave and Guillermo Del Toro probably my favorite director. I have a list on my phone of Lucca Certified Horror Bangers. Most recent addition is Profondo Rosso (Deep Red for all you non-guidos out there) after watching it on @thechurchofsplatterdaysaints 's rec and being totally blown away! Must consume more Argento.

Coffee or Tea?

Coffee for the fuel, tea for the taste! Love an iced matcha from Dunkin, current favorite tea is Constant Comment but it changes all the time. I always make a lemon lift + constant comment iced tea in the morning in the once in a blue moon instance work is having me stay at a hotel that has both tea bags and a working ice machine.

1st thing you wanted to be when grew up?

Video game QA tester but really only because I thought it was the only job where you could get paid to play video games, but my years in the work force have shown me you can get paid to play video games at any job if you're sneaky enough.

[sukirichi]

reckless [07.]

With a lackadaisical playboy as your boss, being reckless wasn’t an option. But on the one time you let loose and made mistakes, your life is shattered, and now you’re playing house with your insufferable boss who is the father of your baby.

✘ content/warnings. toxic characters, abandonment, pregnant sex, explicit smut, mentions of accidents, angst if you squint

✘ note. would you guys believe me if i said the next chapters are just going to be mostly fluff? and thank you to @fyodors-crime​ for beta-ing :)

previous | series masterlist | playlist | update announcement

[ Six years ago; The Bullet – a popular hangout spot for the elites attending Tokyo International Academy ]

“This is rare,” Satoru plopped down on his seat, smirking at his friends gathered around the table. Confidence oozed from him as he crossed his legs, chest puffed out in pride from being felt up and praised by countless women all the way to his booth. Beyond the throng of guards placed outside their seats, people cajoled and lost their minds to the rhythm booming from The Bullet. Satoru couldn’t remember the last time he’d been here, much less shared a drink with his friends, ever since they began attending university in their respective departments.

Geto with his scholarship in photography, Shoko in medical school, him and Utahime in business school, and the ever absent NaoyaZen’in who they last saw walking outside law school with bags under his eyes.

“Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d see all of us together again.”

Geto snorted behind his martini, raising a brow at Satoru’s disheveled form. While all of them had dead looks in their eyes, Satoru was beaming brightly, shamelessly winking at one of the pretty waitresses who came to serve his drink. “Uni is kicking all of our asses. It was about time we went out for drinks.”

“I second that,” Satoru raised his glass, nodding to his friend who was scrolling through her phone aimlessly in her seat. “Utahime. Where’s Shoko? She said she was near here somewhere. Did she stop by to smoke again and ditched last minute?”

The girl barely glanced from her phone, ever annoyed with Satoru’s presence ever since they were kids. She probably had enough of seeing the white-haired man every day in university; sharing the same booth with him was even more of a pain. “No, she said she was bringing a friend with her. The heiress of Yamazaki Group, do you know her?” With that, Utahime shut off her phone and flattened her coral blouse, piquing the curiosity of everyone in the table.

Very rarely did they let someone into their close group, much less the introverted Shoko who didn’t even bother remembering people’s first names.

Satoru snickered, “Who doesn’t know them? Besides, the Yamazaki Group owns a chain of restaurants and hospitals in the entire South East Asia. I would consider them a rival group if we’re even the slightest bit into getting closer to their level.” The Yamazaki Group came close to second with the Kamo Enterprises and the Rang family; both empires considered like royalty in the continent. While Kamo Enterprises dominated most of the business chains in Japan, the Rang family spread their wings all over the world, starting small businesses and affiliating themselves with different cultures until they formed a pack with everyone. The Yamazaki Group was more mysterious and traditional, rarely showing up for interviews or on cameras, their actual line of ascension to the business kept unknown even to big groups like Gojo’s.

If he could guess correctly – and he usually was right in his first impression of people – the heiress of Yamazaki Group would have her head so far up her ass.

A soft hand fluttered over his shoulder. “Don’t worry about us being rivals, Gojo. I’m studying to be a doctor, not a businesswoman. If there’s anyone you should look out for, it should be my cousins and not me. The business is not mine to inherit.”

Satoru had seen all kinds of beauty; he basked in them and showed his appreciation for everyone he found attractive in the form of bedding them and spending weekends out of town for a lavish sexual getaway. Hell, he’d dated models and even celebrities, but something about the woman stood before him trapped him to his seat. Pretty couldn’t begin to describe her. She felt mighty, carrying an air that elegant heiresses seemingly had attached to them from their moment of birth, but she was also gentle, her smile almost playful.

Glancing down, Satoru couldn’t help but bite back an impressed laugh. No designer bags or shoes – just a plain pastel blue blouse falling from her shoulders and light washed jeans. Beautiful enough to mix with the likes of them, but not flashy enough to be considered a member of the Yamazaki Group.

As if finding amusement in Satoru being rendered speechless – which didn’t happen often – she bowed politely before taking the only seat left open, which was right beside him. “Sorry we’re late. Naoya cancelled last minute because something happened in the firm his dad worked at.”

She even knew Naoya? “Naoya is always too busy these days. He should relax a bit.”

“You know Naoya can’t afford to be as lax as you,” Shoko piped in, poking the slice of lemon in her glass with an umbrella toothpick.

She embodied the exhaustion of all medical students with a hunched back and dark, empty eyes, though it hadn’t really been that different from her usual melancholic self. Satoru knew her long enough to know Shoko was a gentle soul, though, and he leaned across the table to hear her soft voice from the blaring music.

The Yamazaki heiress smiled in agreement. “Unlike us, Naoya doesn’t have anything but honor in his family name,” she offered a hand, one that Satoru took his time admiring. Long, slender fingers and perfectly manicured nails with the tips painted a modest white – he felt his stomach stir from her mere presence.  She was going to be fun. Good girls who acted all innocent and pretty while their daddy’s wallet supported them were always fun to break. He couldn’t wait for the opportunity to turn her into a rebel, break that sweet, docile character of hers into pieces. “I’m Mia, by the way, it’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m Gojo Satoru – though you knew that already, didn’t you?” he joked, snapping his fingers at a waiter passing by. “Can I buy you a drink? Pretty ladies like you shouldn’t even have to lift a finger when you’re going out.”

“I think I can buy my own, but thanks for the offer,” she declined, waving a black card right in front of his face. Satoru no longer held back as he let out an impressed chuckle. “Can I tell you something, Gojo?”

“I’m all ears.”

“I don’t like you.”

Satoru blanked, but managed to replied coolly, “That’s new.”

“Never heard of it before?”

“Mostly the opposite,” he shrugged, nodding lazily behind his shoulder where a group of his classmates had followed him all the way to the club in hopes to dance with him. Satoru did promise one of them he’d go out with them this weekend, but his friends came before everyone else. They’d have to wait one more week if they really wanted his attention; attention that Mia apparently didn’t want. “May I ask why?”

“Judging people based on rumors wouldn’t be very professional of me, so I’ll just say I don’t get good vibes from you,” she said stiffly, hazel eyes fluttering down his handsome features and to his chest. Subconsciously, Satoru straightened up and smirked, not the least bit modest as he rested his chin on his hand. He knew his custom made watch was not worth her attention, but it always added to his appeal, something he already had plenty of.To his surprise, Mia leaned over. Satoru’s eyes widened as her face got closer, her vanilla perfume wafting to his senses, but instead of her lips pressing into his, her nose dipped down to his heated neck. “One look and I can tell you’re someone I should steer clear from. Crumpled shirt and tie from a previous hasty make out session, the faint lingers of a woman’s perfume and a lipstick stain on your collar,” her thumb smoothed over his shirt, the tip of her nail grazing against his jugular. Finally – though Satoru couldn’t tell whether he was relieved or not – she pulled away and plastered a polite smile on her lips. “We can be friends in terms of business formalities, but don’t expect you’ll be going out of here tonight with me dangling on your arm.”

Not that he was trying to hide his intentions, but she sure did catch up fast.

“Is that a challenge, Yamazaki?”

Mia hid a smile behind a glass of Armand de Brignac Brut Gold, but Satoru’s eyes were too sharp, too focused on her that even the sparkling wine could not conceal her blush from his gaze.“Let’s see you try.”

So try and try he did; his curiosity and intrigue soon replaced with something deeper, brewing, something different. Late night texts where his attempts of charming her to go on just one date with him were always shot down. Now, Satoru was a man who respected that no meant no, but Mia was different. Mostly because she never said no and instead replied with, ‘try harder’ that he did. Soon, he didn’t even glance at anyoneelse as he made it his duty to pick her up from her penthouse, driving her all the way to medical school as her supportive friend.

He hated that word. Friends.

Satoru wanted them to be more. Mia liked him; that much was obvious with how her firm yet docile demeanor wavered around him. He wasn’t stupid either, he knew their occasional brushing of hands when they walked side by side were not accidental. Satoru was no longer a naïve high school boy who tiptoed around a girl’s feelings. If he was confident his affection would be reciprocated, then all he had to do was encourage her. He never texted Mia when it was her exam or practice week, but always made sure to leave little notes on her refrigerator, wishing her good luck and that he’d left freshly cooked meals for her to eat because he knew she didn’t take care of herself that much.

It took around three or four months before he finally got his sweet yes, and when he did, Satoru had never felt happier. Not only did she like him back, but she asked him out first. Never in his whole life had the words I’ll see you again sounded sweeter to him.

Mia helped him gain the courage and motivation to work harder in taking over his company. It wasn’t that he was lazy or abandoning his studies all throughout, but he did admit he wasn’t that much interested in business. Him taking over wasn’t his choice; it was simply one of the boxes to be ticked in his mother’s checklist when it came to Satoru’s life. Having Mia around, however, it felt nearly impossible to not be as dedicated as she was when she always made it clear that her future and career were her first priority. Not love. Not him. Not their relationship. And he respected that.

Until now.

Their relationship was not a fairytale – almost nothing ever is. Dating Mia was no walk in the park, especially when her family remained wary of him due to his old reputation. Satoru didn’t give up though; he proved himself loyal and even had the honor of having her hand in marriage. They were young, barely graduating from university, but they were in love. They wanted to make it work. He believed this was the right decision. After all, he loved Mia. Her simple request of not rushing into marriage until she’d gotten her medical license was heard and supported, as he too was in the process of becoming CEO of his father’s company. His sister’s rushed marriage with an equally powerful heir added weight onto his shoulders to live up to his parents’ expectations of being the rightful heir. Satoru himself wanted to take his time and be patient with his engagement to Mia, or so he thought, as he watched the customers leave the restaurant one by one, his arm cramping from the amount of times he’s glanced at his watch to check how many hours had passed until he was left all alone, the rose scented candles coming to its bottom.

Apologizing to the manager,who he’d paid to let him stay a little longer, Satoru finally left.

“Mia,” he called her, worried when she picked up at the third ring. Mia never picked up this quick, he’d be lucky if she answered back after three calls. “Where are you? The restaurant’s closing already and I’ve watched everyone leave. How long do you plan on making me wait?” sighing as he realized that he was making it about himself again, Satoru leant against his car, his fingers carding through his hair. “Nothing bad happened, right? Are your parents still trying to set you up with others? It’s the weekend, they should—”

“No, babe, it’s not that. Listen, there’s just a lot going on right now and I’m really sorry—”

“You don’t have to apologize for being busy,” he reassured, “I understand, but…it’s our anniversary, Mia. I’ve barely seen you the last three months even though you’re just a fifteen minute drive away from me. You’re almost never home. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Satoru, but I have other things to do.”

His heart clenched as her voice began to sound far away. “More important than our anniversary?” Satoru chuckled dryly, “You know, for the past two years we’ve been dating, I only took you out to six dates. The rest of us being in a ‘relationship’ is mostly you working and studying while I wait around here like a fool. You don’t even bother texting back. If you’re busy for finals, sure, but Mia, your friends literally posted on Instagram that you went on their birthday party last week—”

“Fine, I’m sorry for having my own life, okay?!” she snapped on the other line, her voice growing so loud that Satoru had to pull his phone away from his ear. From the other line, he heard muffled voices and the shuffling of keys, followed by the steady click clack of her heels. “Jesus, Satoru, you’re so clingy. I’m driving there right now so can we stop talking about this? I have enough on my plate already.”

“Clingy?” he repeated incredulously, “Mia, I’m your fiancée. I haven’t seen you in person for months, not even a text or a simple phone call to say good night because you never pick up! How is it clingy when I only want to see my fiancée?”

A car door slammed shut. Mia was now driving to where they were supposed to meet four hours ago, and he clenched his teeth, wondering what she’d been doing the entire time.

She agreed to celebrate their anniversary with him, letting him do all the planning for the meals, time, and location all because she was ‘too busy.’ She was alwaysbusy. Satoru was baffled that he even had to hit up Mia’s PA or butler just to ask when she was free, because clearly she was so far from reach from her own fiancée he had to take matters into his own hands. Satoru had to feel lucky she even said yes. Did it piss him off? Definitely. Did he feel like he didn’t even matter in her life? Obviously. But would Satoru ever tell Mia about it? He would, if he had the slightest idea of where his fiancée was.

“Satoru, I’m busy. Our lives are different, okay? I’m not going to waste my time visiting your penthouse each weekend to cook you meals like you do for me because you’re a grown man that can look after yourself. Thank you for your kindness, but don’t think that I’ll be your pretty little housewife just because you do those things for me. I don’t need that; I have my own personal chef.”

“Housewife?” he furrowed his brows, “What even gave you that idea? I don’t cook for you because I think you’re incapable, I’m just worried for you because you’re always overworking yourself. You don’t even take breaks anymore. Your PA told me you haven’t left the residency for weeks—”

“Oh, so now you’re keeping tabs on me too?”

“Maybe I wouldn’t ask everyone about you so much if you just told me how you’re doing!”

“I’m fine!” she bellowed back, “I’m as fine as I can be, I’m as fine as anyone else knowing I’m engaged to you, but my parents are trying to break us off because you’re using me!”

“Using you? Mia, what’re you talking about?”

“Don’t act dumb, Satoru,” her voice cracked through the phone, her light sniffles almost inaudbile. “Your mother came to my father’s office the other day asking for a loan for your failed business with the Kamo’s. They offered you as payment, claiming that you could marry me and look after me as long as we prevented your downfall,” Mia informed,and though Satoru couldn’t see her, he could perfectly picture her pretty face caked with tears. “Is that why you proposed to me, Satoru? You think you owed me that?”

“I-I didn’t know my mother went,” he began nervously, opening his car door as he revved his engine. Truthfully, he had no idea where he was going. To his mother? To meet Mia halfway? Maybe his destination in mind purely meant to be away and closer to her. “I swear, Mia, I had no idea. Please believe me, you know I would never do that. I asked you to marry me because I love you. I would never use you for—”

“Who do I believe, Satoru? You fooled around before I met you. It’s so hard to believe that you changed overnight just because of love. You used me; you wanted my money and that’s why I stayed away from you! Do you even know hard it is for me to look you in the eye knowing my parents are threatening to kick me out if I keep being with you?”

“Mia,” Satoru begged, his grip tight on the steering wheel. “Mia, please don’t do this.”

“Do what? Why’re you so afraid of letting me go?”

“Because I love you.”

“Stop saying that,” she demanded, her fists banging on the steering wheel. Satoru’s heart raced as he remembered Mia had never been a good driver; whatnot with being chauffeured everywhere. Her line of cars waiting in her garage were mostly for display, and even in the few times they’d been together, Satoru was always the one driving. “Stop lying to me!”

“Mia, calm down, just listen to me please, okay?” he tried to soothe, blinking back the tears that blurred his vision. “I never lied to you. I’m sorry for everything my mother did, please believe me when I say that I do love you—”

“But I don’t trust you, you should’ve—”

“Mia?” Satoru called out, “Mia!”

He never heard her again. The only thing Satoru could remember that night was him pulling over to the side so fast he nearly crashed into the pole, his hands clammy and sweaty as he stared at his phone. Loud crashes and a sudden bang resonated in the emptiness of his vehicle. When he gained enough courage to call for help, it had been too late.

Six years later, and she still looked the same. Pale, cracked lips, sunken cheeks and once beautiful eyes refusing to open. Sometimes he received a twitch in his frequent visits if he was lucky enough.

Satoru didn’t know exactly when he grew tired of being by her side, hoping and begging for her to wake up. All he knew was that one day he stopped visiting. Ever since you came into his life, Satoru found the lost glimpses of joy he once felt, but no matter how hard he tried to forget, Mia remained like a heavy weight on his chest that he just couldn’t get rid of. Countless lawsuits filed against him by her family. Numerous dinners and breakfasts in hopes of appeasing Mia’s parents. Proposals and legal constraints limiting him in his movements. His company seconds away from being devoured and acquired by the Yamazaki Group.

Satoru hoped he could tell you. The company he owned, the one you worked so hard to keep together while he was away trying to repent for what he’d done to the beloved only daughter of the Yamazaki Group, was no longer in his control.

He was a mere puppet.

Meanwhile, his lover laid in the same bed she’d been resting on for years, her dark hair sprawled all over the pillows. Years ago, he would tilt her head back and brush her hair to keep the knots and tangles out, but now it felt wrong. He could no longer touch Mia without fearing his touch would sear and hurt her again.

“Are you still stuck in dreamland, sleepyhead?” he whispered softly, his heart pounding in his chest as Mia remained unresponsive. How long had he been like this? Talking to no one but himself, staring at the white walls of her secluded room because her accident was too much of a scandal that could ruin the Gojo’s. All Satoru wanted to do was to forget everything he had to do as he got down on his knees, begging Mia’s family for mercy to cover this up, lying not only to himself but to everyone that there was still hope she’d wake up and everything would be okay.

But Mia never woke up.

And now Satoru wished she really wouldn’t.

“You know,” he started with a bitter smile, twisting the wedding band his parents had given to him once he announced he wanted to marry her. His mother confiscated it right after the accident, leaving the ring back in the home of his fingers until it wound up around your neck, trapping you in the same horror everyone in his family went through. Satoru’s mind recalled the time he didn’t mean to hurt you by snatching the ring away, his lips pressing into a flat line as he bit the inside of his cheeks. “Every day, I blame myself for everything that happened. I thought hating you at first would make me feel better, but now I’m just stuck. I feel lost. It’s been six years, yet you’re still haunting me. Six years, and you still won’t let me live,” he rasped, clutching the ends of her bed as his head fell in shame. “Mia…there’s someone I care about.She’s a good person who I’ve wronged. I couldn’t take responsibility for you before and couldn’t protect you, but maybe now I can do the same for her. I want to be a good person and be there for others even if I wasn’t there for you. She means a lot to me and she’s hurting because I’ve been dishonest. It’s all my fault and I ended up hurting everybody around me.”

Satoru’s shoulders shook as he took Mia’s frail hand, kissing her knuckles again and again in hopes she could forgive him. He wanted to say more, wanted to apologize more, and he nearly lost it when he noticed her eyelids twitch for a brief second. Don’t wake up, don’t wake up, don’t wake up…

She could hear him. She always did, and her name only left a stronger taste of guilt on his lips when her eye twitched, a stray tear escaping to remind him she’s there. Mia always listened.

“I’m so sorry for everything, Mia. I love you, I really do, but I want to follow my heart and stop hurting the people I care about, so can you let me go now? I want to be free,” he begged, his tears falling into the curve of his palm. Fetching the ring he hid in his coat pocket, Satoru gently placed their matching rings on the bedside table. “I’m sorry, Mia…I can’t wait for you anymore. You need to let me go.”

Tokyo had never felt smaller – so within grasp. Beyond the glass walls of the restaurant owned by the celebrity chef RyoumenSukuna himself, Tokyo glimmered and shone like live lanterns. The dripping golden chandeliers sparkled above you, your zebra patterned stilettos clinking against the gray marbled floor as you poked around your food, not the least bit of an appetite showing up what with your father squirming before you.

You could tell he was nervous and uncomfortable; he wore a plain white button up and some overused slacks he’d been wearing to work for almost the entirety of his life, while his own daughter played around with the silver utensils, diamonds on your neck and a fur coat resting over your shoulders.

“You look different,” was the first thing he said after a few painfully awkward minutes. He shifted in his seat once more, curiously poking the meatballs covered in sauce whose name he couldn’t pronounce. Sighing, he eventually gave up and drank his water, looking around the extravagant, empty sky tower restaurant with nervousness written all over his face. “This place is very beautiful, by the way, but you didn’t have to rent someplace like this. I would’ve been happy with just a ramen shop—”

“Am I a stranger to you now, father?” you dropped your fork, staring at him straight in the eye. “You’re acting rather odd for someone who asked to have dinner with his daughter.”

“No,” he pursed his lips, dropping his head into his lap as he breathed out, “You look exactly like how I feared you would be.”

“Care to explain what that means or will you lie to me again?”

Your father rubbed the sides of his head, his lips quivering at the intensity of your gaze. You weren’t mad, didn’t even have the slightest intention of pushing him out of your life. However, his lies had pretty much changed the course of your life, and that wasn’t even the worst he’d done. “I’m sorry I lied to you, Y/N. I admit that was wrong of me, but please understand I wanted to keep you safe,” he tried to reason, reaching over to clasp your hands in his, stopping only when his thumb grazed over the expensive ruby ring that was only miniscule in the entirety of your hefty collection. Your father shrank back in his seat. “Your mother…she was lost in her way, unable to figure out where she would go. I was afraid that if you found out she was alive, you’d want to find her and become like her. The last thing I wanted was for my own daughter to be blinded by rage and greed as well.”

“Is that how you see me now?” you scowled, “Blinded by rage and greedy? Are you disappointed your plans in ‘protecting’ me failed?”

“Maybe I never stood a chance against fate, but I tried anyway.”

“You had no right to keep me away from this world. I belong here.”

“Do you?” he held your gaze for the first time that night, wrinkles appearing on his forehead from years of hard work. It pissed you off. He pissed you off. What was the point of slaving away your whole life when you couldn’t even get half of what Valeria and the others had – the wealth you could’ve acquired without so much as a blink of an eye? People like him made you sick in your stomach; seeing them do more work than your new family ever did, yet could never come close to where you were now? Why couldn’t he just suck it upand admitthat he wanted your help too? You would give it. You’d let his wife and your stepbrothers live in one of your places if they just asked. How dare they act all upright and better than you? “Then why do you look so lost? So lonely?”

You scoffed.

“I’ve always been lonely. I just did a good job at hiding it from you,” you retorted, “Happiness is not what I need. It’s money. When you have money, anything can be solved in the snap of a finger,” waving a hand around you, your father followed your gestures. “Look around us, father. This is just one of the extravagant places I can rent out with the swipe of my card. No more og me having sleepless nights or breaking my back just to be able to pay the rent or my brothers’ tuition fees. No more crying myself to sleep because I got kicked out of my place and I’d have to sleep in bathhouses again. This luxury and power is what you deprived me of. My life would’ve been easier if you hadn’t lied to me in the first place.”

“Money is not the greatest blessing, Y/N,” he shook his head, having the audacity to look disappointed. “It’s family.”

“Family? That’s bullshit,” you laughed darkly, “I never had a family. I was just someone trying to fit in someone’s else’s home so I can have someplace to rest for the night. Family, love – none of that matters to me when I never even had that to begin with—” your father shot up from his seat before his hands landed on your shoulders. Staring up at him wide-eyed, you witnessed your father dropping down to his knees, his head knocking against your knees. “Stop that,” you grabbed him by the arm, grinding your teeth when your father kept his gaze down onto your feet. “Dad, stop. Stand up.”

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. As your father, I can see where I lacked. You had to grow up by yourself and support a family who isn’t even your blood, but it’s not true that I didn’t love you. You are the greatest blessing in my life. It was because of you that I knew I loved being a father and wanted to be good to my children.”

“But you weren’t,” you reminded, tugging him by the arm a lot harsher until he was forced to look at you. The fat tears dripping down his face agitated you because he just had to look pathetic. What would those tears do for younow? Why couldn’t he just quietly receive the support you wired into his account? Why did he have to insist on returning them to you, asking for one more meal with his beloved child like he actually cared? Why did he have to make you realize you never really felt happier?

“You left me alone and nobody else wanted me. I don’t have a family either and I may never know what that feels like. That’s why I don’t want this child. What if I turn out like—”

“You are a kind, selfless person, my child. I know you’ll be a great mother,” he reassured, grasping your hand and patting it. “This child – this can be your family along with us. I haven’t been the father you needed me to be, but I will always be here. I don’t have any wealth to offer you except a warm welcome to come home to,” smiling worriedly, your father stood up, bringing you along with him as you hugged him back. This is why you didn’t want to see him again. Deep down, you loved and missed your father. His minimal amount of love and affection was all he could give you and you were more than thankful for it, but it never eased the hurt. It never soothed the pain, not even as he rubbed your back up and down while you muffled your cries onto his shoulders. “You should go back, Y/N. We can pretend none of this happened. Just come back home. Your brother misses you.”

“I only wanted to be loved, father,” you confessed, fisting his shirt with trembling hands. “All I ever wished for was to feel like I belonged and someone wanted me. It hurts so much each time the whole world tells me I’m unwanted, that everything would be much better if I was never born.”

“That’s not true, child, it is not. Family is the greatest gift one can have; you are the best thing that happened in my life. Not once in my whole life have I regretted having you.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, your father shushing you in consolation. Although the rest of the restaurant staff were nowhere to be seen, you grabbed a handkerchief and dabbed at your tears, careful not to ruin your makeup. You had to be in your most presentable state at all times now that people looked up to you; soon to be the face of bothKamo Enterprises and the Rang Empire. Even this baby you mothered was an heir of the Gojo Group – you couldn’t cry and make a fool of yourself. Laughing to lighten up the tension, you stepped away from your father to blow your nose, voice turning nasally. “I’m so sorry. I just wanted to feel like it’s not a bad thing to want to live.”

“It isn’t. You’re doing great; I’m proud of you,” he rubbed your shoulders the same way he always did when you were a child, back when it was just the two of you as a family. The gesture helped you calm down the next moment, and you smiled sadly, blinking back more impending tears. Your father joined in your chuckles and swiped a thumb to wipe your tears away, holding your hand as he led you back to the table. “Just slow down, okay? You are not in a competition with anyone. You don’t have to fight against your mother. She’s not important and neither is anyone else. Do what you think is right and best for you – there’s no need for you to become the greatest. Take it slow and breathe.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, feeling so much like a child. In reality, you wanted to feel like a child, wanted to be doted on since you grew up too fast, too quick. For once, you let your walls down and enjoyed the food, still dabbing into your tears because your emotions were getting the best of you. “Eat as much as you want,” you gestured at his empty plate, offering a light smile when your father paused. “I’m able to buy you as many meals you want now, dad. Let me take care of you this time around.”

I can’t marry you. I’m already engaged to someone else.

The events of that night played like a broken record in the back of your mind, following you even as you walked the cramped streets to your old home. Your apartment still looked the same way it was before; somewhere between rundown and just habitable. After working and saving up from the years you worked for the Gojo Group, you had enough to afford a better apartment closer to the office, but you supposed it was the comfort of habit. Taking the subway and falling asleep for the entire fifteen minute ride, coming home to a creaky bed and your neighbors fighting over not putting the toilet seat down as your morning wakeup call – you almost couldn’t believe how much your life changed in the span of five months.

Your father was right.

The ramen shops were much better.

Discarding your heels, jewelry, wristwatch and fur coat in your car, you changed into a more comfortable pair of flats and roamed the city more as your old self than the person who you were now. The old ramen stalls you’d been frequenting in were more than glad to see you back again, commenting it had been a while but welcoming you with open arms anyway. Returning to it all brought tears to your eyes, something you brushed off by saying you only got something in your eye.

Taking the subway with no destination in particular, you leaned against the windows, a contented smile on your face. You actually missed this. The peace of the nighttime jostle with people flooding inside the train, everyone with their own identities and lives going about their day, either about to go home to their families or to treat themselves to beer and a bucket of chicken after a long day of hard work.

You had been them at one point in your life. It felt oddly calm to be alone in the presence of a hundred others, reminding you that you hadn’t really been alone before.

You were just like everyone else, and you began to wonder if the luxury even meant anything. Nothing much had changed apart from the power and being able to transform retail into therapy, but other than that, you still felt desperately lonely.

Once the train stopped, your thoughts were halted. You waited until the majority of the crowd packed up and left before you got out, being greeted by the gray sky and pouring rain. Everyone opened their umbrellas or ran to the nearest place with a roof, with you following the latter when a tall man in a black coat approached you. He lifted his umbrella and smiled at you, stepping closer until you were shielded from the unexpected downpour.

Warm, soft fingers reached up to caress your cheek.“You must be cold.”

“Not anymore…now that you’re here…” you mumbled softly, heart beating fast at the close proximity between you two. Satoru’s handsomeness never failed to make you feel some sort of way, him looping his hands through yours as he guided you back to his car not helping to ease the tension. His back was turned to you the whole time, tempting you to rest your head against his, to bury yourself in his warmth until he protected you from the harshness of the world. You wanted to be with him, to never leave his side and have him stay this way, with his body warm and flushed against yours as you were tangled in the sheets once again, your thumb grazing across his nipples while you struggled to catch your breath.

I can’t marry you. I’m already engaged to someone else.

But she’s gone…and she’s never coming back.

Even when he held you like he never wanted to let go, you knew better. In his mind, he had someone else. Everything had always been too good to be true, though you didn’t have it in you to be broken by it, not when hoping things could change wouldn’t actually do anything. For now, you had to be contented with what you had, and you pulled him closer to you, lips brushing across where his heart lay – the heart you craved to be rapacious of but couldn’t. “Satoru,” you whispered, eyes fluttering shut as you felt him kiss the top of your head. Lying to yourself that you were okay with this, you forced a smile. At least he could offer you this. At least he shared his warmth. At least you had him right by your side. At least you weren’t alone anymore. “You love her, don’t you?”

Satoru didn’t hesitate as he said,“I do.”

“Then why are you with me? Is it because of the baby?”

“It’s because I want to be here,” he consoled, dragging his palms over the curve of your stomach. His touch was enough to lull you into a false sense of security, one that you blanketed yourself in if it meant to allude your trampled heart into the delusion you were loved; that you were wanted. “Y/N, about the baby, if you think it’s best to abort them since we’re both not ready, then I’ll respect your decision. I don’t want to be selfish anymore. This is more about you than me, so I’ll be right by your side no matter what.”

“Satoru,” you cautioned, bracing yourself on his shoulders like you did previously. This time, you looked him straight in the eye as you stated, more to yourself than to him: “We don’t love each other.”

“I care about you.”

You smiled bitterly. Of course he would be too nice to outright say he didn’t love you, and you didn’t either, but it still left an uncomfortable taste in your tongue. “I care about you too,” you agreed, hiding your concern and raising fears by nudging your cheek on his chest. “Satoru…it’s not going to get any easier, is it? Our parents would never approve of us, but not that I care, since Valeria is no longer any of my concern.”

“Neither are my parents.”

“What do you mean?”

“Once they hear the news that I broke off the engagement officially with her parents, they’re going to disown me,” he shrugged as if him losing everything meant nothing to him, his head dipping down to leave little kisses on your cheeks. Him giving affection and you enthusiastically receiving it almost felt medical, methodical, now that you both understood there was only one path you could meet halfway, and that path was no more significant than to find comfort in the empty cracks between the spaces. “I know you wanted to marry me so we could be powerful together—”

You cupped his jaw down for a kiss, silencing the bubbling man before you. “I didn’t mean it. I would never marry you or anyone for something like that. For once, I want to be different than what people expect of me, so I’m sorry for proposing to you like that.”

Satoru did not seem relieved by your words, his voice faltering as he traced curves on the swell of your hips. “When the time comes, I might not be useful to you anymore.”

“You don’t have to be,” you comforted, your smile surprisingly bright as the words left your mouth. Both of you knew that you were only here now to distract each other from everything else, that your body on his was just another form of pushing things back and seeking comfort, if even for just a little bit. At the end of the day, you had no ties to one another, not one that sewed your souls together anyway. It made you debate whether that meant freedom, or pure loneliness. “Just…stay there, yeah? You’re the only one I trust right now.”

Satoru sighed, propping his elbow on the bed as he sat up halfway. “Aren’t you mad that I lied to you? Asked to marry you when I already had someone else in my heart? You could’ve hurt me, screamed, shouted – anything. Why didn’t you? I hurt you more than once, Y/N, so why are you still letting me in after everything I’ve done?”

You marveled over the answer as well.

Instead, you offered a lame shrug, legs dangling off the bed as you tied your silken robe around you. You could feel his hungry gaze following you all the way to the opened doors of your vanity, his wandering eyes watching you as you splashed water all over your face. Whether you wanted to be slapped back into a better grasp of reality or to simply feel numb, you couldn’t pinpoint. “I’ve hurt you too; it’s only fair. Besides, neither of us love each other. You’re only here in my bed out of mutual loneliness and need,” you told him with a small smile, ignoring the fire in the pits of your stomach when Satoru’s eyes drifted down to your pebbled nipples peeking through the cloth. As if pulled in by his captivity, you found yourself snaking back onto the bed and onto his lap, breath turning ragged when he tugged at the strings of your robe. “I understand you now; why you always sought out the company of others. Being here is suffocating,” you breathed out, eyes turning dark with desire as you laid bare before him, his palms smoothening over your waist and onto your breasts. Beneath you, Satoru was growing hard again. “Do you understand why I want you here? Why I don’t care what you do as long as you come back to me?”

“You’re using me as a distraction.”

Contrary to his words, Satoru was just as fucked out as you were, his attention much too divided by the inviting heat of your pussy, your heavy breasts enticing him to lean forward and capture a nipple into his lips, your lips swollen from his kisses.

“Yeah, that’s all you are to me. And a friend too, I suppose,” you tried to joke, shaking your head once you felt him nudge you back into his throbbing member. He slipped inside with little to no resistance, his head falling back against the pillows as he stayed there for a few moments, relishing in how snug and warm you hugged him. Palms sliding down to lay flat on his chest, you grazed your nose against his, breaths mixing into one. You began to move, a slight raise of your hips before falling back down sensually, rocking both of your senses into oversensitivity from the endless pleasure shared in the dead hours of the night. “We don’t have to love each other. You didn’t even have to break off the engagement because you’re concerned for me—”

“I wasn’t. I wanted to free myself from my past.”

“And if she wakes up?”

“She won’t,” his grip tightened on your hips, eyes snapping open until a terrifying shade of midnight blue blinked up at you. “It’s been six years. She’s not getting any better and her parents have already decided to pull out her life support. Mia no longer has anything left to her. Everyone’s moved on from the past; everybody but my parents.”

“Because of the loan, right?” he nodded in confirmation, to which you responded to with a roll of your hips forward, both your moans decorating the room. “I’ll pay back your debt. Will that truly set you free?”

“Yes. Yes, it will.”

“I’ll handle it,” you promised, flicking your hair over your shoulder as you rocked yourself on his cock, frantically searching for his hands. Satoru quickly read your mind and laced your fingers with his, bringing your joined knuckles to his lips where he left little kisses and occasional bites to your digits. His pupils were blown wide, hips rutting below you until you were forced to cling onto him. Satoru effortlessly sat up, placing one free hand on the mattress dipping before him, engulfing your moans through open mouthed kisses. “You know, had we met in a different time, I think I could’ve fallen in love with you.”

“Me too,” he agreed hotly, his nose brushing against the pads of your cheek as he began to kiss nowhere in particular. “You’re a lot like her, you know, but you’re a lot sweeter. You made me happy when I lost her.”

“Is that why you were so interested in me before?” you dragged your nails down his back, meeting his thrusts with equal effort, both of you desperate to reach your release. “I reminded you of her?”

“Yes.”

“We’re both a little cruel, it seems,” you moaned, whimpering when Satoru flipped you both onto your sides. Grabbing one leg to lift it in the air, he fucked you from behind, his chest flushed with your back. In this angle, you couldn’t see him, but his low groans could be heard in your ear, the erotic, masculine sounds spurring you to reach your orgasm. “But it doesn’t matter now. If it’s what soothes you, then go ahead. Not like you can do anything to ruin my life now, and all I want is someone to keep me company. If you were to be disowned, you’ll have plenty of time to entertain me, right?”

Satoru grunted behind you. “You make it sound like I don’t have anything better to do.”

“Do you?” you retorted, “You need me, I need you. We can help each other. We can work it out. I’ll take care of you if you do the same for me – ah!” Your vision blurred white as he hit your most sensitive spot, sending you over the edge as you laid there, trembling and hugging your arms to yourself. A few more sloppy thrusts and he came as well, dropping your leg and turning you his way. Satoru mumbled nonsense as he engulfed you in a warm embrace, your skin slick with sweat and arousal. It was hot and an uncomfortable, but you couldn’t find it in you to let go.

“I’ll be good to you,” he croaked out, voice still heavily laced with arousal.“I promise.”

You didn’t dare comment on another one of his promises. He didn’t mean anything by them; just like how you didn’t mean anything by your sudden proposal made on the haze of post-orgasm bliss. The reminder served enough of its purpose that you peeled his arms away from your frame, slowly inching closer to your side, suddenly so grateful you had a queen sized bed. “You can stay the night. Make me breakfast tomorrow if you’re free before you leave, and I want dumplings too.”

“Okay,” he mumbled, the tips of his fingers reaching out to flicker at your waist before he retracted them. Even though you couldn’t see him with your body facing the city and your back turned to him, you could clearly paint the image of a frown on his face. “Do you want me to hold you to sleep?”

“No, just stay where you are,” you drawled out, pulling the blanket over you as you felt the first tear spill from your eye. “Good night, Satoru. Sweet dreams.”

His answer came from a mile away.

“Good night, Y/N.”

The first movement of cracking one eye had never been more strenuous. Upon being greeted by blinding white light, Mia shut them close again, the little control she had over her numbing fingers helped her fist the sheets. The heart rate monitor beeped frantically around the room as her lips split open from the dryness, chest rising up and down frantically as she looked around. White, white, white – four white walls loomed over her and a thin blanket was placed over her body, her body she could barely feel.

But apart from the stark, flat colors of the room, the gold band beside her sparkled from the sunlight beginning to creep in from the windows.

So it hadn’t been a dream.

Gojo really left.

“No…” she cried out, throat aching from the articulation of words. With trembling hands reaching out for the figure that would’ve been there to greet her had she woken up earlier, Mia tasted the saltiness of her tears slipping through the cracks of her lips. It felt like rubbing salt onto the wounds and her heart ached, craved for his touch,“You can’t…leave me…”

taglist: @sixeyesgojo @bongofrito @7tsumurai @aphnyoturkey @stuckindreamland06 @dogsarenyspiritanimal @thebeardedmoon @lildreamer93 @pizzaspirits @q-the-rockaholic @rogueofbullshit @ladywaifuuwrites @flochsgirl @sonic-and-songs @misslovingpearl @xllance @charlie-xo @anime-simps-blog @fiona782 @sassyglassesbunny @plusultra2dwhore @massivelynervousprincess @https-jane @vabybizzle @tehehebri @wishing-to-be-a-fictional-chara @g-r-boiii @thenezuko @la-vida-segun-manny @bananaandbrans @mephiis @lilith412426 @jibe-gajima @gladly-olus @choso-bee @trivia-134340 @captain-shittykawa @shingekiyofeels @dora-the-grownup @iwaizumiee @kinekyuroo @stesphy @badsadbby @evalynanne @chidori-me-sensei @jellymoonbear @assbuttbaek @brokencoinlocker @princessofcurses @snapnov4 @its-the-aerieljeane @subtlepjiminie @omisemi @fushigurosluvr @vampgguk @chanelmalandro @homeorbust @devilsghoul @stel9 @iwazubean @cuddlesslut​

[tsukishumai]

First Kiss - Tsukishima, Kageyama, Hinata, Yamaguchi (Karasuno First Year edition!)

Aoba Johsai Edition

It’s a little long, I have zero self control

Can you tell I love Tsukishima  (｡◕‿◕｡)

TSUKISHIMA - 

Before, you used to spend your days in school with your cousin, Yamaguchi, and his less-than-pleasant-but-ridiculously-good-looking best friend, Tsukishima.  

He was a jerk, to put it lightly, but hey, you can be a jerk too.

“Your hair looks like a damn bird’s nest, and your bow’s all crooked. Did anyone even teach you how to be a girl?” “Did anyone teach you not to be such an insufferable asshole?” “Do you even know what ‘insufferable’ means?” “Uh, yeah, it means Tsukishima Kei.”

Yamaguchi regrets ever introducing you two.

Things may have started like that, but it wasn’t long before the biting tone in Tsukishima’s words was replaced by something more playful, each remark followed by a smile. He started walking you to your classes, saving you a seat next to him during lunch, even going so far as to share music with you. (He’ll never show you the playlist he’s made of all the songs you’ve recommended.)

But that was before. Now, you were doing your best not to melt under Tsukishima’s heated gaze, paying no attention to the golden brown eyes that have followed you around for days.

The bell rang to signal the end of class, and you quickly gathered all your things, throwing them haphazardly into your bag, and running out before Tsukishima could get to your desk.

You got to your locker in record time, quickly changing out of your school shoes so you could start your trek home. Usually, you would wait for Yamaguchi and Tsukki to get out of practice but… this was better for you. 

“You’re avoiding me.”

You jumped at the voice that was suddenly right behind you, knowing exactly who would be there if you turned around, so you didn’t.

“Don’t you have volleyball practice?” “That’s beside the point.” “Avoiding you? I haven’t been –“ “I’m not a dumbass, so don’t play games with me. You’re avoiding me. Why?”

You gulped, gripping the school bag that hung off your shoulder until your knuckles turned white. You wanted to lie, but there’s no point. Tsukishima was always able to see right through you.

“I heard you tell Tadashi that you liked someone…” “… So?”

You tried to pretend that your heart didn’t just crumple up like a piece of paper. “SO! I didn’t want to ruin your chances; she might get the wrong idea if she sees us together all the time.”

He scoffed. “That is the single most idiotic thing I’ve seriously ever heard. Did you hit your head as a kid?”

You could feel your face turn red, anger beginning to bubble in your throat. You finally turn around to face Tsukishima, ready to give him a snarky comment. “No, YOU’RE the single most idiotic thing –“

The words died on your tongue, muffled by Tsukishima leaning down and pressing his own lips onto yours. 

He pulled back, and couldn’t help but smirk at your flushed appearance.

“I was talking about you. Stupid.”

KAGEYAMA –

You had always found it extremely fun to mess with Kageyama Tobio

The boy was a genius when it came to volleyball; but maybe that’s where his genius ends.

It didn’t escape your attention that he would get flustered every time you smiled at him, or that his friends would tease him whenever you walked by, or that it was him dropping off a juice box and melon bread on your desk every morning with a note that says “have a good day.”

You enjoyed it; the way you could make him short circuit just by giving him a hug, the crimson on his face when he catches your eye from the court, and the deer-in-headlights look he gave you when you confessed your feelings.

You were never one to make the first move, sometimes wondering why you did it for Karasuno’s genius setter, but you’re reminded when you feel the shiver in his body as you slide your hand into his, and you see the sweet look in his eyes when you ask him to walk you to class.

You didn’t mind that you had to initiate most of the affection if it meant you got to see the blush that Kageyama always tried to hide.

Today, you found yourself in the perfect position to mess with him. The two of you were having a movie night, and even though you shared the same blanket, Kageyama was sitting on the other end of the couch like a perfect gentleman.

“Tobio,” you whined, “I want to cuddle.”

You didn’t even give the poor guy a chance to reply before crawling from your side of the couch, and situating yourself on his lap, arms reaching up around him as you buried your face into his neck.

You could feel Kageyama’s entire body stiffen, steam practically beginning to come out of his ears. 

Laughter threatened to spill from your lips, so you decided you’ve done enough to the guy, and started to make your way off until you felt two strong arms snake around your waist.

You lifted your head to face Kageyama in surprise, but your breath was caught in your throat when you noticed the look he was giving you. 

It was like slow motion – Kageyama’s head lowered and your eyes fluttered close before you felt the velvety soft pressure of his lips against yours.

Omg d-did he just kiss you?!

Now it was your turn to be flustered. The corner of Kageyama’s mouth turned upwards ever so slightly, and his hold around you tightened, causing the pink tint of your cheeks to deepen into crimson. 

“Let’s stay like this for a while.”

HINATA –

Everything. Was. Going. Wrong.

This was not how Hinata imagined your first date together would go!

Do you have any idea how long Hinata has been waiting to ask you out? Ever since he met you at National’s last year, he’s been planning this day. 

You were beautiful, funny, and you could teach him (more than) a thing or two about volleyball? *Chef’s Kiss*

When you finally agreed to go on a date with him, he thought he was dreaming. He knew he had to make it the best date ever.

He definitely didn’t go to the bathroom six times the morning of.

There was a summer festival that weekend, and he figured it would be the perfect place to take you on your first date.

Ten minutes in, Hinata had spilled Kakigori all over his Yukata. He had been in the middle of beating himself up about it when you reached over and dabbed at the stain with a napkin, laughing at his clumsiness.

An hour in, Hinata had spent nearly all his money trying to win you a stuffed animal to no avail. (You got it yourself in one try.)

Two hours in, Hinata had accidentally stepped on your obi, ripping the delicate material. He wanted to die right then and there, but you insisted it was old, and you were planning to get a new one anyway.

Just as Hinata thought he would redeem himself by taking you on the Ferris wheel, he found out that he got motion sickness, and you ended up having to rub his back, while he fought the urge to hurl the whole time.

“I’m so sorry,” he apologized once the two of you exited the metal death trap, sitting him on a bench, “I swear I had planned for this day to be much better.”

“What do you mean? I had a great time,” you said, and Hinata gave you a look that clearly said he didn’t believe you. You just laughed. “Hinata, when we first met, you threw up on my shoes. Today was a big improvement.”

He laughed. “Still – I wanted you to have a cooler memory of me.”  

“You don’t have to try so hard,” you giggled, “I came here because I like you.” 

Just then, the sky lit up with different colors of reds, greens, and blues; dancing together to create a pattern that illuminated your face in a way that made Hinata’s heart race.

You smiled then, sitting beside him on the bench and laying your head on his shoulder. “At least we have these fireworks.”

It was there, on a random bench under the glow of summer time, that you shared your first sweet kiss with Hinata Shoyo.

YAMAGUCHI -

 Enter Yamaguchi Tadashi; Captain of Karasuno Volleyball Club, Pinch Server, and all-around good guy.

He’d like to think he was a completely different person now; no longer the shy, timid first year that was stuck on the bench while his classmates shone on the court.

Now, he was in charge, and one needed to have all the confidence in the world if they had to keep his demon classmates in line.

But all that confidence just went down the drain whenever you were around.

“Good morning, Yamaguchi-kun!” “Oh, hey! Hi, yeah, it’s a good morning right? Aha, the homework last night was pretty hard, right? Haha..ha.”

“I watched your game last night, Yamaguchi-kun! You were amazing, I couldn’t take my eyes off you!” “Wha - Ah - Haha, that was nothing, just -  it was, uhm, the team they helped ahaha, I – Thank you?”

“Dude…” Tsukki would say, “What the hell just happened to you?”

Naturally, his friends got sick and tired of seeing him turn into a dumbass around you, so they decided to take matters into their own hands. 

Yamaguchi should have known what the boys were up to when they decided they wanted to throw a party after the game. As captain, he probably should have spoken against it, but he was also feeling pretty high from the win, and wanted to let loose. 

How they managed to trap him in this closet with you was beyond him. He thinks he heard the words “7 minutes in heaven” but the beers were making everything move too fast, and your proximity was more intoxicating than anything he drank that night.

You looked at him with glossy eyes, and he felt like he was drowning. More than a few minutes passed, neither of you moving. The tension was rising, and Yamaguchi didn’t want to make you feel like you had to do anything you didn’t want to.

“Y/N-san, you don’t have to –“ “Yamaguchi-kun, I like you.”

He froze, mouth hanging open. He watched as your gaze lowered, fiddling with your thumbs as you took a step back, and he instantly missed the closeness.

“I’m sorry, this was stupid. Tsukishima-san told me this would be a good idea, but I can see that I’m making you uncomfortable, I’m just going to –“

You felt Yamagachi’s warm hands on either side of your face, catching you off guard before he pulled you in and locked his lips onto yours. Your hands instantly moved up to wrap around his middle, and you lost yourself in the softness of his movements.

He pulled away, making a mental note to thank his idiot friends when you beamed up at him with a smile that blew him away. “I… I like you, too.”

A/N - This one is for @valiantrevolt​ !

[purrincess-chat]

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH14

Things are changing ;) The next 10 chapters look a lot different than the original, and most of them are brand new.

Previous      First      Next     AO3

---------------------------

Chapter 14: Death by a Thousand Cuts

The crowd waiting for Ladybug and Chat Noir outside the Louvre grew thicker as another van pulled up, and a crew of reporters hopped out. Alya drummed her fingers on her phone, shifting when the new additions forced their way into the throng. She just wanted answers. Being selected to be Rena Rouge meant she had some sort of bond with Ladybug, right? So why did Ladybug replace her without warning? Was it out of necessity? Or did the fox Miraculous have a permanent new owner?

Camera bulbs flashed as the heroes exited the museum, and several microphones competed for their attention, swallowing Alya in a sea of limbs. Lila promised a private interview, and if her stories were to be believed, she’d better come through. This was the moment that would define their friendship, and more importantly, Alya would finally learn if Marinette and Adrien were telling the truth.

“Ladybug!”

“What’s the story on this akuma?”

“Can you confirm that you and Chat Noir are dating?”

“Do you have any leads on tracking down Hawkmoth?”

“A student got punished for wandering off on a field trip. No, we’re not dating—stop asking! And as of right now, we have no leads, but Chat Noir and I are doing everything in our power to keep you all safe,” she said smoothly. She never once looked at Alya in the crowd.

“Ladybug,” Alya spoke up.

Ladybug shifted to face her, though her face bore no sense of recognition or familiarity. Her expression was blank, cold, business-like, distant—a steely mask hiding her emotions.

Alya bit her lip and continued. “Um, I was hoping to get an answer to a question many of my followers have. Do you have time for an interview?”

Ladybug’s earrings beeped frantically—a reminder that the heroes were on literal timers.

“I’ve only got a couple minutes,” she replied. “Make it quick.”

Strike one.

“My viewers want to know what happened to Rena Rouge. Will Malin be a permanent replacement, or was he a temporary stand-in?” she asked.

Several reporters rolled their eyes. As far as they were concerned, these questions were yesterday’s news. No one else seemed to care that Rena Rouge was replaced. They clung to whoever wore the suit in the moment, but it was the most important question in the world to Alya.

Something flashed in Ladybug’s eyes, an uneasy expression Alya saw in the mirror a lot as of late. Those big blue eyes were filled with pain, hurt, and regret, but Alya couldn’t figure out why. What had she done to receive such tortured expressions from someone who once trusted her?

“Malin will wield the Fox Miraculous in all battles moving forward.” She grabbed her yoyo. “No more questions. Bug out.”

Reporters glared daggers at Alya for wasting their opportunity to get the latest scoop. Alya could see it in their eyes. As far as they were concerned, Rena Rouge was old news. Her heart dropped to her feet, shattering like glass on concrete.

Strike two.

“I’ll be happy to take a few more questions.” Chat Noir stepped to the center of the crowd. His eyes skipped over Alya too, lengthening the chasm growing between them.

Strike three.

All the microphones pointed at him, pushing Alya aside just as Ladybug had done to Rena Rouge. Her heart hammered in her chest, a painful lump blocking her throat as tears welled in her eyes. Did Ladybug not trust her anymore? What did it all mean? Lila was supposed to talk to her and set up a private interview, but Ladybug treated her so coldly. Why?

Because she’s a liar.

The thought flashed in her mind, Marinette’s familiar voice ringing in her ears. Alya had to wonder if knowing the truth was any better than living in ignorance. One thing was certain: if Lila really was a liar, then Alya had a lot of apologizing to do.

♪♫♪ Sanctuary ♪♫♪

“Hey, you made it!” Macy took Marinette’s hands and planted kisses on her cheeks. “Is Adrien coming?”

“He said he was.” Marinette retrieved her phone from her purse to check her messages.

“You two should sit together.” Macy insisted, and when Marinette’s eyebrows raised, she added, “I’m a huge fan of his, but you two seem really close, and I’d never want to start anything over a boy. It’s not worth ruining our friendship.”

“Macy…” Marinette pulled her in for a hug. “You’re the best.”

“No, you are, and if Adrien can’t see that then he has poor taste,” Macy said. “If you ever need a wingwoman, I’ve got your back, and I’m sure Eliott can teach you all kinds of ways to flirt.”

“I might take him up on that. I’m hopeless.” Marinette admitted. “Sometimes when I talk to him my words come out wrong.”

“Why don’t I set up the perfect scene for you two tonight?” Macy offered. “Afterall, the play is packed with romance. He won’t know what hit him.”

“Who won’t know what?” Adrien asked as he and Martin approached.

“Oh, nothing,” Macy said with a coy lilt. “Just girl stuff, you wouldn’t be interested.”

“I get it. Keep your secrets.” Adrien smirked.

“Come on, Eliott reserved us box seats!” Macy took Marinette’s wrist and led the way.

As promised, Macy sat Marinette next to Adrien and toted Martin off with her to “get a drink.” Adrien seemed oblivious to her plans but unbothered by the extra alone time with Marinette.

“So, your dad let you come, huh?” Marinette said conversationally.

“He’s more amicable toward other rich people, and he thinks theatre is a more…enriching activity.” He rolled his eyes. “I guess he figures I’ll behave.”

“Either way, I’m glad. It means we can spend more time together.” Marinette offered him a shy smile.

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a downer. I’m really glad he’s letting me out. Ever since you changed schools, I don’t get to see you as often, so I always look forward to spending time together,” he said.

Marinette’s heart skipped three beats. “Yeah, it’s great! N-Not that he doesn’t trust you, but that we can hang out, I mean. It stinks that he doesn’t trust all of your friends and keeps you at home, and I’m sure it must be hard for you, and… I’m gonna stop talking.”

She turned to face forward, slapping her palm to her forehead. Maybe she should have hit up Eliott for flirting advice before she let Macy push them together.  

“No, no! It’s fine. It is hard, but I’ve got really great friends like you who understand, so that makes it better,” he said.

“You know I’m always here for you if you want to talk about it. Any time.” She reached out, hesitantly at first, to place her hand over his. “You’re…really important to me, Adrien.”

Adrien searched her soft expression before a smile curled on his lips. “Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me.” He gave her hand a squeeze as Macy and Martin returned.

Macy nudged Marinette with a giggle, and she bit back a smile. Maybe she wasn’t as hopeless as she thought. Adrien kept hold of her hand until the lights dimmed, and the theatre hall broke into applause. It was a small gesture, but Marinette would take it.

Eliott played an amazing Chat Noir, and even Margot didn’t do too bad as Ladybug, despite being a total brat behind the scenes. The play was fun, and a reminder of how much Paris trusted Ladybug and Chat Noir to defend them. Though, she did find fault with their kiss at the end seeing as she and Chat were so not like that, but Paris wanted what it wanted even if it couldn’t be further from the truth.

“You. Were. Awesome!” Macy tackled Eliott the moment they met up afterward.

“Thanks,” Eliott chuckled. “I think that was my best performance.”

“You play Chat Noir so well, Eliott. Are you sure you’re not really him?” Marinette teased.

“I’d believe it,” Adrien said. “I’m impressed by the quality of your playwright’s puns.”

“They’re almost as cheesy as the real Chat Noir’s,” Marinette added with a grunt.

“Not feline the cat puns, Marinette?” Adrien folded his arms over his chest and cocked a brow.

“Purrhaps she just doesn’t find them funny,” Eliott said with a wink.

“Then she has a very purr sense of humor.” Adrien smirked.

Marinette rolled her eyes, shooting him a playful grin of her own. “I just think his comedic timing needs work. They’re saving Paris; shouldn’t he take his job a little more seriously?”

“Meowch. No appreciation for good comedy with this one,” Adrien said.

“I may have to reconsider purrmitting you to attend the after party on my yacht,” Eliott said. “You have to make one cat pun to be admitted.”

“Do I have to?” Marinette groaned.

“We can chat about it on the way.” Macy giggled as Adrien and Eliott praised her contribution.

“Yeah, we’ve gato go.” Martin pointed to the door, only adding fuel to the fire.

Marinette sighed. “Betrayed by all of my friends at once. That’s cold.” When they all gave her expectant looks, she crossed her arms over her chest. “Please leave meowt of this.”

She rolled her eyes as they all applauded, curtsying and blowing sarcastic kisses. If anyone knew more cat puns than they ever wanted to, it was her. Chat Noir certainly kept them coming.

“Alright, I guess you can come.” Eliott draped an arm over her shoulder as they walked.

“You guys are insufferable,” Marinette said.

“You love us though.” Adrien wrapped an arm around her waist on the other side, and her cheeks warmed.

Across the lobby, Lisette was chatting with other stagehands, and Eliott stiffened. He might be good at flirting, but when it came to Lisette, he always clammed up. It didn’t help that she was shier than Marinette either.

“Go invite her.” Marinette urged, elbowing his side.

“What? Who? I wasn’t- you’re…”

“Hey, Lisette!” Marinette called, breaking out of his grip and beelining for her.

“Marinette!” Eliott chased after her.

Lisette tilted her head to one side. “Hey, you’re…”

“Marinette.” She held out a hand. “Eliott’s friend.”

“Yeah, you were at our dress rehearsal last night.” Lisette nodded, cheeks flushing when Eliott latched onto Marinette. “What’s up?”

“Nothing. Nothing’s up.” Eliott clamped a hand over Marinette’s mouth, and she gave him a prompting look. “Um, just I’m having a party on my yacht if you wanna come. Just a few friends and family, super casual. Margot won’t be there.”

Lisette clutched the hem of her shirt and bit her lip. “Sounds fun.” She rocked back on her heels. “Let me go home and change, then I’ll come over.”

“Okay, great!” Eliott said a little too loudly. “I’ll- We’ll see you there.”

“Great.”

“Cool.” He turned abruptly, dragging Marinette away by the wrist. “Okay, I deserved that revenge.”

“She likes you!” Marinette said.

Eliott couldn’t hide his smile. “Shut up.”

“She’s coming to your party.”

“Yeah, I got that. Thanks.” He let a breath pass his lips. “I’m just nervous. I’ve never liked someone before, and I’m scared that everything could go wrong.”

“Talk to her tonight. Let her get to know you, and I’m sure she’ll like you no matter what,” Marinette urged. “Have confidence.”

Eliott searched her expression, pursing his lips. “Okay.”

The rest of the group was waiting in the limo, and Marinette crawled in beside Adrien. Macy was prattling on about the play, particularly the big kiss at the end, teasing Eliott for having to kiss Margot.

“Do you think her snobbishness can infect you like getting bit by a zombie?” She poked his cheek.

“Shut up, we’ve rehearsed that kiss a 100 times over the past few weeks, and I’m fine.” He swatted her hand away.

“You really are a good actor if you can pretend to be in love with Margot for an hour and a half,” Macy said. She fanned her cheeks. “Even still, that kiss was so romantic! I would love to have seen the real thing on heroes day.”

“Oh, come on. That kiss so didn’t happen in real life. The playwright just added it in for dramatic effect,” Marinette said.

“How do you know?” Adrien quirked a brow.

“I- just Ladybug is always saying in interviews that they’re not a couple, so of course they didn’t kiss.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“Oh, that’s just a cover story. They are totally in love. Chat Noir is head-over-heels for Ladybug, and she just hides her feelings so Hawkmoth can’t use it against them,” Macy said, not bothering to mask the ‘duh’ in her voice.

Marinette rolled her eyes. If only they knew.

When they arrived at Eliott’s yacht, her friends continued their chatter, and a small smile curled on Marinette’s lips. She really was lucky to have them, even if they all believed Ladybug was in love with Chat Noir—she’d convince them eventually. After everything that happened with Lila, Marinette was spiraling, feeling unappreciated, abandoned, and angry. Martin and Eliott said she helped them, but truthfully, their friendship saved her first. They showed her that real friends did exist, and that they don’t abandon one another.

Finally, her gaze rested on Adrien, the one thing she still had left from her old school. He’d grown quiet after their conversation. He flashed smiles and laughed when appropriate, but something hid behind those green eyes, an intensity Marinette had never seen from him before. After a while, he disappeared from the party, and Marinette wondered if he’d gone home until she found him on the upper deck looking out over the Seine.

“I’ve always thought the Seine was prettier at night,” he remarked as she approached. “The reflection of the lights on the water calms me down.”

“Are you okay? You’ve been quiet ever since the limo ride,” Marinette said. She leaned against the railing next to him. His eyes were fixed ahead, barring her from the emotions brewing inside. Another gray wall with a locked door between them.

Finally, he flicked his gaze over to her, searching her face as if she were a puzzle that needed solving. He looked at her like that a lot nowadays. Several times when they spent time together, she’d catch him staring. A month ago, she would have done anything to get Adrien to look at her, but now as they stood only centimeters apart, eyes locked, she didn’t know what to say. Her heart fluttered.

The last time they hung out, Adrien almost kissed her—a fact that haunted her every day since. What did it mean? Was Adrien in love with her? Was he going to kiss her now? Oh god, she shouldn’t have eaten the Camembert from that cheese platter.

His eyes bore into her so intensely, she thought she was going to pass out, but instead of kissing her, he bit his lip and asked, “How are you holding up with everything?”

Blinking in surprise, she breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m doing better now,” she said. “Some days are still rough, but I’m grateful for my friends. They’ve really helped me overcome everything.”

“I know you’ve been through a lot lately. I’m just glad you and I are still friends,” Adrien said softly. “You’re someone I don’t ever want to lose.”

Her cheeks warmed as he tucked a loose strand of hair into place. Taking a leap, she took a step toward him, curling her arms around his waist. He held her close, resting his head against hers.

“I’m really glad I still have you,” she whispered.

“You’ll always have me. I’ll always be watching out for you,” he said in her ear. “Always. I promise.”

♪♫♪ Careful ♪♫♪

“Hey, bestie.” Lila smiled as Alya approached their usual table at their favorite café. Her face fell when Alya flashed her a pensive frown. “Why the long face?”

“I talked to Ladybug yesterday,” she said. “She totally blew me off. I thought you said you were going to get me a private interview.”

“Oh no, I am so sorry, Alya!” Lila’s face fell into her hands. “I should have warned you, but I just don’t know what happened. I tried texting the private number Ladybug gave me, but she totally ghosted me. I don’t know what’s going on with her lately. She hasn’t been replying to me at all.”

How convenient.

Alya crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m having trouble believing you.”

“I’m not lying to you, Alya! Ladybug has been pulling away from me lately, and I don’t know why.” Lila’s lips curled into the perfect pout. “I find it really hurtful that you don’t trust me. I thought we were friends, but you’re starting to sound like Marinette.”

“We are, I just… I don’t know what to think anymore. I-” Alya averted her gaze with a sigh. “I need some time to clear my head, okay?”

“Of course. I know you have trust issues after what Marinette did to you, so I completely understand,” Lila said. “But please, don’t call me a liar like she used to. If you leave me, then everyone else will too.”

Alya chewed her cheek, searching Lila’s expression. Her eyes seemed so genuine that Alya almost apologized on the spot, but she knew that not everything in life was as it seemed. Be a journalist. Investigate.

“I gotta go,” she said. “My sisters want to see a movie this afternoon, and my parents are at work.”

“I’ll go with you,” Lila offered, but Alya held up a hand to stop her.

“That’s alright. I can handle it,” she said. “Thanks, though.”

Lila sank back into her chair with a pout. As Alya turned to leave, Lila’s face shriveled into a glare that sent a chill down her spine, but she kept walking. Maybe she imagined it. Her mind played all kinds of tricks on her lately. She only hoped the truth would reveal itself soon and free her from all of this doubt.  

♪♫♪ happiness ♪♫♪

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Ladybug sat on the edge of a roof, staring out over the city. She heard Chat Noir touch down behind her, but she didn’t turn around as he approached. Her head was drained, empty, lifeless as she stared ahead.

He didn’t question as he sat beside her. They knew each other well enough by now that she didn’t need to explain when she was upset. He just knew. The silence stretched on, but Chat Noir waited patiently while she gathered her thoughts.

“I knew it would happen,” she said finally. “I knew she would wonder.”

“Alya?”

Ladybug nodded. “I never told you, but she was Rena Rouge.”

Chat Noir’s mask raised, and Ladybug lowered her gaze to her lap.

“She must hate me now,” she murmured, lip quivering.

“You did replace her without an explanation,” he said pointedly.

“I had my reasons.” She swung her legs over the edge. “I need people that I trust by my side.”

“I wasn’t questioning your decision,” he said. “You know I trust you 100% no matter what.”

“I guess it’s not that I don’t trust her.” Ladybug sighed, chewing her lip. “I mean, I don’t doubt that she would still work with us, but she’s hanging out with Lila, and after everything…I can’t work with her.”

“I understand.” When Ladybug gave him a disbelieving look, he brushed her cheek with the back of his knuckle. “Really. I do, Bug.”

“I know it sounds selfish, but I can’t put my feelings aside,” she said. “I know we have a duty to protect the city, but if I can do that with someone else, then why go through the trouble?”

“No one’s asking you to.” When her face fell, Chat Noir reached out to cup her cheek. “Bug, you did the right thing. No one is doubting you. We need people we can work with and count on, and if Rena Rouge isn’t it, then it’s time for Malin to step in.”

She leaned against his shoulder, watching cars crawl up and down the street with sad eyes—a city full of people counting on her. They seemed so small from up here.

“It’s hard sometimes,” she said. “Having the whole city looking at you to fix all of their problems… The weight of the world gets so heavy.”

“Don’t worry about stepping on toes. We have to do what we can to save everyone, and we can’t do that if we’re working with people we can’t trust,” Chat Noir said. “It’s not selfish. It’s our job.”

Ladybug smiled, Chat Noir’s familiar warmth flooding her chest. Chat Noir could be sweet when he wanted. He could give Adrien a run for his money if he acted like this all the time. Nah, that was a stretch, but she’d always love Chat in her own way.

Ladybug stretched up to kiss his cheek. “Thanks, kitty.”

“You’re welcome.” He smirked, then added, “I just hope you’re not thinking of replacing me.”

“Of course not,” she giggled. “I know I can always count on you.”

“Good. Then we’re on the same page.” He leaned his head against hers, and they sat for several minutes, watching the city lights twinkle on the skyline.

She spent a lot of time leaning on blond boys lately, but in her defense, she had two of the best. Chat Noir trusted her even when she didn’t trust herself. Sure, he was goofy, full-of-himself, and his puns were terrible, but… Somedays she needed someone like that. Someone to make her laugh and roll her eyes. He was her best friend, and she hoped that even after they defeated Hawkmoth that they would always stay this close.

“Until next time, m’lady.” He bowed theatrically when they stood to leave. “I’m always here for you if you need me.”

“I know.” She pulled him in for a tight hug. “Thank you for being someone I can lean on. It means the world to me.”

“Of course, m’lady.”

Ladybug swooped down to the street, ducking behind an ad stand and letting her transformation drop. Clara’s presentation was in a week, and she was going to pull an all-nighter. Coffee was a must. She was getting close to finalizing a few of her designs, and now that she’d gotten everything off her chest about Alya, her mind was a lot clearer.

Rounding the corner, she crossed the street to a quaint little café before a waterfall of silky, red hair wiping a table in a dingy green apron caught her eye. Was that…

“Gabrielle?”

[literaryfic]

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: 빈센조 | Vincenzo (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Vincenzo Cassano | Park Joo Hyeong/Hong Cha Young Characters: Hong Cha Young, Vincenzo Cassano | Park Joo Hyeong Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, vincenzo leaves, set five years after he left sk, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, vincenzo and cha-young are exes, they were in a relationship before, Fake/Pretend Relationship, jealous!vincenzo, Jealousy

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO @trynatalktou FOR BEING THE BEST BETA I COULD’VE ASKED FOR. THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO HER!

Summary: Time stops, or so it seems. Vincenzo is petrified, beautiful statue of a man turned into stone. Her eyes follow the high bridge of his nose, the sharp angle of his jaw and the curves of his slender hands gripping the coffee mug. Ah, she thinks. This is how Pygmalion fell in love with Galatea.

listen to this spotify playlist while reading if you want to suffer

Cha-young doesn’t dream that night; she barely sleeps 5 hours before she finds herself knocking on Vincenzo’s door at 6 am. She can’t help it, being in a room just underneath his, so close after all those years apart. Yet, she doesn’t want to show him mercy. She’s here to torment him, the way his absence had tormented her for years. Maybe she wasn’t thinking clearly, maybe she probably shouldn’t seek him out first, or at all. 

In reality, Cha-young knows damn well that she’s trying to find an excuse to be with him, not that she would ever admit it to anyone. 

So there she is, pounding on his door at 6 in the morning. He stands there, wearing one of his expensive pyjama sets, dark circles sitting under his eyes. She can’t quite tell if she’d woken him up or if he hadn’t slept yet.

“Did you even love me?”, she greets him. Good morning is overrated anyway. 

He sighs, letting her through. “You know that.” 

“No, I don’t. I don’t know anything anymore, Vincenzo.”

She stops in her tracks, the world suddenly spinning around her. He’s standing behind her, a mere arm length away. She’s stuck in his gravitational pull, a planet orbiting around its sun. The sharp sensation of her nails digging into her palms is enough to get her moving. She sits on the couch, the same one she’d sat in just a few hours ago. 

“I did. I do.” He clears his throat, looking away. “Love you, I mean.” 

She nibbles on her lower lip, trying (and failing miserably) to ignore his use of the present tense. He loves her, still. She shakes her head. 

“Well, you seemed to be living well without me.”, her expression turns sour. Was it love to hope he’d grieved her loss as much as she had grieved his? 

Vincenzo finally settles in the chair facing her, running a hand through his hair. “There was a point where I wasn’t sure… I wasn’t sure if I would make it.” He winces. “During that time, my only salvation was knowing each day brought me closer to death.” He looks at her, gaze so intense it pierces right through her heart. 

She scoffs, “And I’m the dramatic one, huh?” 

That gets a laugh out of him, and suddenly they’re back where they first started, complicit smiles and knowing looks - them against the world. 

“Coffee?” he asks, eager to keep up the pleasant atmosphere. There’s still a lot that needs to be said, but she relaxes her shoulders, welcoming the lighter turn their conversation is taking. 

“Yes, please.” 

He busies himself with the instant coffee, that same yellow brand he’d gotten hooked up on while they worked together. “So what have you been up to, exactly?” 

“Jipuragi Law Firm just opened a new office in Busan, things are going well. It’s nice, we get to help people who need it. Probably not as exciting as being in a mafia war or whatever.” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” he gives her a cup of coffee and sits down next to her on the couch. There’s a safe distance between them, but there’s no point trying to shush the deafening beat of her heart. “Your father would be proud of you, Cha-young-ah.”

“You think?”, she sips on her coffee. She looks up from her mug, only to find him examining her face. His lips curl in a soft grin, and Cha-young thinks that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad if she kissed it. 

The loud ringtone startles her out of the daydream, and she’s not sure if she’s supposed to be annoyed or thankful. She picks up the phone. “Mmh. Okay. See you soon,” she drags out the last word, using the endearing tone she reserved for those closest to her. Mr. Kwon, her assistant, was asking her to eat breakfast with the team. 

“I have to go.”, she tells him, getting up from the couch. 

He takes her mug from her, “I didn’t realise you were here with someone.” 

She hears it loud and clear, in the way he fakes nonchalance and keeps his voice cautious. He’s asking her if she’s with someone and part of her wants to reassure him that No. There is no one else beside you. But then she thinks of the countless times where she’d cried herself to sleep, memories of them echoing into her mind and his absence carving a hole into her heart, and she can’t help herself. He had wounded her fatally and it was her turn to injure him. 

“Mmh.”, she’s not lying, technically. She’s there with someone, with people actually, just not in the way he means. 

Time stops, or so it seems.Vincenzo is petrified, beautiful statue of a man turned into stone. Her eyes follow the high bridge of his nose, the sharp angle of his jaw and the curves of his slender hands gripping the coffee mug. Ah, she thinks. This is how Pygmalion fell in love with Galatea. 

The empty mug drops to the ground and the spell is broken. Brought back to life, Vincenzo collects the shattered pieces of the cup, and of his heart, too. “Is he a good person?”. Unlike me, he means. 

Cha-young has to remind herself that he deserves this, that this is his fault. “Mmh”, she repeats. “He is.” 

He’s back to the coffee station, his back to her. “I’m happy for you.”, his voice is tight. 

“Thank you.”, she’s almost at the door when she stops. “Maybe...Maybe we could be friends.”

He turns around, finally facing her. The distance between them, from one side of the room to the other, feels insurmountable. 

“Perhaps. If that’s okay with you.”, he answers. 

She doesn’t know what to say, so she stays silent. Is it possible for them to be anything else other than a tragic ending? 

“Perhaps. If that’s okay with you.”, he answers. 

She doesn’t know what to say, so she stays silent for a while. Would it ever be possible for them to be anything other than a tragic ending? 

She finally settles on a simple, “See you around.” An open ending, then. 

She’s cursing herself out the moment she leaves the room. What was she thinking? Cha-young had just lied to Vincenzo about being on holiday with her imaginary boyfriend. No, she corrects herself, she had simply misled him and he should’ve known better. 

She could picture it already; his aggravating smirk, raised eyebrows and insufferable “Oh, is that so?”, after she’d have to inevitably come clean. If only she hadn’t been so impulsive. Vincenzo would figure out her motivations the moment she’d admit to the lie; she wanted to see him jealous, to make him think she was doing better without him, that she was over him. He would see through the façade she had worked hard to maintain. 

Flushing at the thought of the colossal humiliation she would suffer, Cha-young scolds herself. Focus. This was a war that she needed to win. Like a general preparing for battle, she squares her shoulders and summons her most loyal soldier.

“Hey, it’s me. I have a favour to ask. Can you be my boyfriend for the next two weeks?” 

<>

At 37 years old, Kwon Ji-hwan considered himself to be a resilient man with a good head on his shoulders. In the four years he has been working for Ms. Hong, carrying out tasks outside of his job description was far from rare. Those included, but were certainly not limited to: picking her up after she’d drunk too much, infiltrating a yoga class to seduce a corrupt official’s wife, impersonating a law enforcement officer and hijacking an ambulance. In Ms. Hong’s vocabulary, a “favour” almost always meant something illegal. Despite her… methods, Ji-hwan enjoyed working for her greatly. The hours might have been long but the satisfaction of winning against the odds of powerful corporations made up for it. Also, the pay was really good. Still, as used to her antics as he was, he would’ve never expected her to ask something so absurd of him. 

Sitting there, in Ms. Hong’s hotel room (which, by the way, was way nicer than the regular ones she’d gotten for her employees), Ji-hwan cannot believe what he’s hearing. 

“Let me get this right,” he says, adjusting his glasses with his index finger. “You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend in front of your ex, who you’re obviously still in love with even though it’s been FIVE years—” 

“Yah!” 

“—because you want to make him jealous. Did I miss anything?” 

“That pretty much covers it.”, his boss replies, not even bothering to look ashamed. He looks at her, shaking his head. “So, will you do it?” 

He sighs, “What did this guy do to you for you to be so hung up on him after all this time?” 

He was not expecting the sorrow on her face as she answered, “He was there for me during the worst times of my life. We went through hell and back for each other. And then, one day, he left without saying anything.” 

“Wait, just like that? He didn’t even break up with you?” Ji-hwan raises his eyebrows. 

“Nope”, she accentuates the ‘P’. “He simply wrote ‘Live well.’ on a napkin and I never heard of him again. Until now.”

He scratches the top of his head, “What a fucking jerk.” She laughs, it’s rare to hear Ji-hwan swear. Finally, he rolls his eyes. “Fine, I’m in.”

“Yes, I knew you wouldn’t let me down. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She’s doing her little victory dance now, shaking her hips in the least graceful way possible. Like every time his boss convinces him to blur the line of what is morally acceptable, Ji-hwan is regretting this already.

“If I said no, you would have threatened to fire me anyway.” 

“You know it.”

[katierosefun]

no one asked for it, but a list of...things i’ve been reading / watching / listening that isn’t star wars, and this def. isn’t the content anyone asked for, but i need some kind of posting system to get this out of the way otherwise i will just sit in a pent-up ball of energy, so...no one asked, but a list of things i read / watched / listened to in april 2021 and super enjoyed and etc: 

kdrama: penthouse 

i’ve talked a little bit about this kdrama here, but when i tell you i’ve become mildly obsessed with this kdrama...i’ve become mildly obsessed. it’s about these rich families and everything they’re doing to achieve power/stay in power. the characters are all so very complex, and i honestly can’t describe too much more of the kdrama just because it’s so bonkers, but if you like a good revenge plot, this is...def. the kdrama to watch. 

movie: your name 

ngl, i cried a lot watching this movie. like, i think i cried...at least three times? basically, this movie is about these two people who keep waking up in each other’s bodies, and things get even  more complicated from there. this movie really utilizes the japanese myth of the red string of fate, and it’s really lovely. i didn’t think i’d care for it, but i fell in love. also, the soundtrack is amazing. also, just...there’s something so beautiful about two people just being tied together by some twist of fate. very romantic, also very much a coming-of-age story too. i am honestly so blown away by it, not to mention the beautiful animation. 

podcast: me & au 

i’ve talked about this podcast ad nauseum here, but like.......ugh no the way this is literally one of the cutest audio drama podcasts ever. it’s just about two fanfic writing gals, and it’s really cute. also really very gay. also really cute. i literally have listened to the last episode 4 times because i can’t get over how adorable they are. 

documentary: paris is burning 

so i actually watched this documentary for a class, and i’m glad i watched it. this documentary goes into the drag queen scene in 1980s new york. like, idk i don’t really know transgender history, and i feel like it’s just important to learn. i honestly felt kind of sad watching this documentary, mostly because you see a lot of folks talking about their dreams of wealth and comfort, while you, as a 21st century audience member, know that that’s just...really hard for trans folks to procure. there’s some more complicated history behind this documentary, i think, but overall i think it’s an important piece to watch if you want to learn  more about your queer history and also just how the black and latinx community really contributed and made up a lot of the queer world we know today. 

music: oh boy. so much music. 

i mean, y’all know i have to mention fearless (taylor’s version) for the obvious reasons, but i’ve genuinely enjoyed?? this?? version?? i was afraid that it wouldn’t feel the same and that i’d want the nostalgia factor, but like...the nostalgia factor is still there. and taylor’s voice has def. improved, and like,,,now i can’t really listen to the old fearless? mayhaps blasphemous, but i really enjoy taylor’s matured voice, and just hearing her now handle the notes that she might have struggled with as a teenager just makes me :’)) because wow, look at how far she’s come. 

i’ve also been really in love with girl in red’s debut album if i could make it go quiet, again for the obvious reasons. it’s really a wonderful debut album, and i’m so in love with girl in red’s sounds because she can really go from soft and quiet to just hard-hitting, clashing sounds but in a good way? my favorite track has to be did you come? just because of how much it just slaps. it’s bitter, but it’s the kind of bitter that makes you feel like....satisfied. idk how else to explain it lol. i’m also a big fan of midnight love, because it’s quiet, but it’s also...very sad. very much a song you’d listen to at 2 am alone in your bedroom. 

but i guess my fave for the month has to be this lovely playlist of all the classical music in barbie movies, specifically the ballet ones. listen......listen, let me just re-live my childhood, okay? barbie movies slap, actually, and i’m really glad that it got me to appreciate this music more. 

and, last but not least...i’ve been mildly obsessed with from the new world, which is, yes, another classical piece, and yes, it was also in a barbie movie, but it was also used in the kdrama penthouse, and i’ve been mildly obsessed with all of the parts, because ooooh boy, you want to feel like a princess dancing alone in a ballroom as the world burns? you want to feel like you just murdered some elite in their bedroom? bro-- 

and i’ve also talked about this piece, but i’ve been mildly obsessed with vivaldi’s winter, just because...okay yeah no penthouse has somehow renewed my love and interest in classical music, and i’ve already discussed how this piece unleashes some feral feeling inside of me, but like...BRO WHY DOES THIS PIECE SLAP SO HARD. i know this is hardly news and this is hardly a rec because this piece is so well-known, and you’ve most certainly heard it at least once, but like...........no i’m about to become insufferable with my love for classical music again send help

and those are all my main recs for the month of april! clearly, my brain’s been going nuts. i will be back at the end of may for......more of this nonsense, if people are so willing to read my rants about things that aren’t star wars related lmao 

[pete-toolshed]

I was tagged by @music-on-canvas to list 10 songs I'm currently obsessed with. Thank you for the tag!!! This was really fun to do!

1. Buttercup - Jack Stauber

I know this is practically a meme song, but it’s such a chill beat. Me and my friends all jammed to this while we were in Chicago not too long ago, and since then it just holds a special place in my heart. And I keep dissecting it because that’s just who I am.

2. Hush - Deep Purple

I keep getting excited about Edgar Wright’s new movie Last Night In Soho and I keep listening to this and thinking about the POSSIBILITIES. You have no idea how much I am looking forward to this movie, it’s the psychedelic 60’s, physiological horror, AND MADE BY MY FAVORITE DIRECTOR?! I’m pretty sure Edgar Wright looked at a sea of his fans, saw me, and was like “I will cater to this bitch and this bitch alone”.

3. The Comeback Kid - The Midnight

This song.... gives me.... emotionsss............. 🥺.... I’ve been watching Cobra Kai (which is surprisingly good so far) and it made me think of this song so HERE WE ARE

4. Substitute - The Who

I love playing this song on my guitar so when I’m not at home playing it I am listening to it and wishing I was playing it. I think it was a favorite Who song of mine before I learned it, but honestly it’s a chicken-egg situation now lol.

5. Politicians In My Eyes - Death

I just discovered Death and I LOVE THEM. They are one of the earliest punk bands that recorded, but were only recently given the recognition they deserve in that regard. They were a funk band, but switched their style after they saw The Who— ITS JUST GREAT. Look into them. They’re amazing and their influence is BONKERS.

6. Temporary Secretary - Paul McCartney

This. Song. Fucks. You can’t tell me otherwise. It’s insufferable and I love it.

7. Roadrunner - Modern Lovers

Idk man. Just love that laid back shit. Good song to walk down the street to. This is the vibe I give off in general I think.

7. A Case of You - Joni Mitchell

Joni Mitchell is the most beautiful lady in the world and I am in love with her. I’m not even too sure what she looks like. But her soul is made of winds both powerful as storms and soft as whispers and .... I just i I’m I am in love with Joni Mitchell. Okay? I just. Am.

8. Wanna Kiss - Hitomi Tohyama

This song also fucks. I heard this song from a remix by Groovy Godzilla which is also good, but I like the weight of this version.

9. Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t’ve?) - The Buzzcocks

Sooo hmm how do explain thisssssss— okay I’m GMing an RPG about kids in the 80’s, and my character is a punk teen who fell in love with his best friend when they were kids, but then they had a falling out and now his friend is the popular kid in school, and they are enemies, but my character still secretly has feelings for him...... and so this song is obviously on my characters playlist lol.

10. Fun Fun Fun - The Beach Boys

Been thinking about surfer rock Keith Moon. Also just an excellent song to drive around with your friends to during a hot summer day ☺️✨

Now to tag! I tag @starry-eyed-starling, @whossmashedguitar, @pete-townshend-is-the-eggman, and @anynameisbetterthanmyfirstone ✌🏽✨⭐️💛

[theangriestpea]

In the Shadows : Eight

Summary: Jughead Jones, resident werewolf, just wants to protect his family and his pack from the incoming doom of The Red Circle. Sweet Pea and Lily join him to help keep the Southside safe from human tyranny. Meanwhile a demon princess named Myra and succubus named Lavender had a plan to bring on the apocalypse. <ao3> <masterlist> <playlist>

Rating: Mature // Explicit

Pairings: Jughead Jones x OC, Sweet Pea x OC, Kurtz x OC

Warnings: None for this chapter

Word Count: 5k+

A/N:  This is like my least favorite chapter that I've written thus far and I really apologize for that. It just didn't come out the way that I had hoped, so hopefully it is still enjoyable. I've got a paid writing gig that I'm going to have to divide my time with so updates may slow down a tad (only by a day or so). I'm getting back to requests after this.

Chapter Eight: Soul Bound

The purple haired succubus was sitting on the old couch in the small cottage within the mystical forest. The knowledge of withholding the information of her child's paternal parent was eating at her more and more. Lily had been nothing but kind to her since she realized that the demon could be trusted. Presently she was fixing her a special tea blend to help with her terrible morning sickness. It was getting progressively worse as the days went by.

“Lily, I have a confession to make.” Lav said, her voice not sounding nearly as confident as she had wanted it to. “About...the father of the baby.” She twirled her hair around her finger, needing something to do with her hands while she waited.

The witch was at the kitchen counter, measuring out tea into disposable tea bags for her new friend. She hummed back a nonverbal response for the demon to continue as she concentrated.

“I lied before.” Lav admitted, “and it’s killing me not to tell you the truth. What is really going on. Sweet Pea has this fantasy that he can fix things but I don’t think it is nearly that simple.”

Lily glanced up at her and their eyes caught one another. They held the stare, Lily a bit confused as Lav’s looked sorrowful and sympathetic. “He’s the father. What I said about being forced was true. Myra, she said it had to be him and I had no choice in the matter. I didn’t even want to have a child to begin with but now...Now that I’m pregnant, I can’t lose her. I know you understand as a mother, and even though I’m a demon….I’m human too.”

She went back to measuring carefully. This wasn’t really a surprise. She had a suspicion that Sweet Pea was more involved than he let on. Plus she could sense very strong, very dark magical energy from the child already. Energy that nearly matched her baby daddy’s. “Tell me everything.” Lily said, her voice calm and careful. “I’m not upset. I know how he has no idea what condoms are and besides you mentioned before she gave you a potion to make you conceive. It’s not like you knew him before all of this. I’m just glad you didn’t kill him.”

Lav relaxed against the couch, glad that Sweet Pea was out doing an odd job to get them some extra money. It was hard to be around him when he was off limits. “There is a prophecy.” She continued, “and through decades of decoding it, Asmodeus discovered that the birth of a certain child would be a catalyst in bringing on the apocalypse.”

Lily stopped what she was doing. Her eyes widened as she looked at Lavender again. Was she really talking about the end of the world? This world? The mortal realm on Earth?

“Myra enslaved me by taking my mortal soul when I was in a bad car accident. My neck snapped, I was dead, but my demon half simply took over. I didn’t even know what I was until then. The mother of the child would be a hybrid without a soul. A succubus to be exact. The father would be a purely dark witch, also without a soul. This is a really dumbed down version of this, I don’t know how else to explain it.” Lav said, her heart racing in her chest now from anxiety on how Lily would react.

“Lavender.” Lily said, wanting clarification, “she bred you to bring on the end of the world? With Sweet Pea? Your daughter is going to bring the apocalypse?”

Her voice wasn’t angry, resentful, or hateful. The demon relaxed only slightly at how calm Lily was at this news. “Yes. Myra will take her the second the cord is cut and will unleash hell on Earth. I will never see her again. And Lily, there are very specific reasons why I do not want all of hell’s demons to roam the Earth and most of them are entirely selfish.”

Lily looked back at the tea leaves, taking a deep breathe to calm her hammering heart. “Most of them?” She asked, wondering why they weren’t all entirely selfish.

“I happen to like Earth the way it is.” Lavender said, “And I just want the mortals in my life to be happy. I want Daisy to grow up with both parents. I want you and Sweet Pea to continue to live by her side. I want Sweet Pea to get his soul back because he’s only going to get worse.”

“What did he do to you the other week? When you had to heal yourself.” Lily questioned, needing to know. “Why did you let him?”

Lavender crossed her legs to try and hide her discomfort at the question. “We had sex. It got a little rough, that’s it.”

“So rough that you had to heal yourself? You’re pregnant, Lavender, you can’t let him-”

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Lav quickly interjected. “He has no soul, Lily. I understand you don’t know how people are without one. They’re terrible. It’s frightening, honestly, what a man can do without any real conscience to hold him back. He will only get worse which is why it’s imperative for you to get it back if you want him to be any kind of father to Daisy in the future, you must.”

Lily finished up the last tea bag, sealing it and putting them all into a glass jar. “I know. He’s just getting darker. I expect him to come home covered in blood half the time. His anger was always bad but never like this. I’ll get his soul back and I’ll get yours back too.”

Lav was silent as Lily handed her the jar. The demon dared to look up at her, "I know a way to break the contract." She said in a soft voice, praying that Myra wasn't hiding in some nearby shadow.

Lily smiled faintly, "she can't hear you. I have the house warded. Tell me what you have in mind."

"The vargulf is dying. He only has a few weeks left, tops. I think...I think she's in love with him. Only white magic can heal him. Only you can bring him back from the brink. Cut a deal with her. Heal him in exchange for my freedom and my mortal soul." Lav said, eyes never leaving Lily's face. "It will not protect my child, but she can no longer hurt me without repercussion."

Lily sat down next to her on the couch as Daisy toddled in, having just woken up from her nap. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the demon, "Lavie!" She giggled, running up and holding onto her legs. Lav smiled and placed a gentle hand on her head.

"Would you oppose Sweet Pea staying with you for protection? After I do this?" Lily asked, the sight of her daughter hugging the succubus warmed her heart. Daisy needed more interaction with people that weren't her parents. "He is an asshole but he is a powerful witch. Myra is stronger than you, is she not?"

Lav went quiet once more as she picked up the little girl and set her in her lap. Daisy loved to play with her purple hair, finding it memorizing. "Only if he has his soul back. He's insufferable right now. Her strength is in her age and lineage. My magic would be stronger if I had my soul, but it’s been gone for decades now. There’s not telling what state it is even in. I don’t know where she has been keeping it.”

“I plan on retrieving his soul in a few days. I need to devise a good offering to my matrons before and probably spend another night with Jug...for good measure.” Lily said, a light blush crossing the tops of her cheeks. While Lavender was the one who set them up, it was still a bit embarrassing to talk about.

The demon smirked at her, “try not to get knocked up again.” She teased as Daisy pulled at her hair. She ignored the pain, tolerating it as Daisy twisted it around her fingers in an attempt to braid it, but really she was only knotting it up. “Although you would be stron-”

The witch held up a hand to keep her quiet, “don’t even go there. I’ll only have another one when things are stable and the end of the world isn’t imminent.”

“That’s fair.” Lavender said, shrugging. “Think you can stop it?”

“I won’t know for sure until you get something for me.” Lily said, her tone becoming serious. “It might be easier for you to get a hold of than me. With your limitless access to mortal currency.”

Lav cocked her head to the side, curious. “If you need money, Lily, I can get it for you. I’ve charmed many men out of their 401ks. Do you know how many life insurances I’ve stolen away? It’s easier than it sounds.”

“What does a demon need money for anyway?” Lily asked, a bit exasperated. Money was always an issue for them. Neither could afford childcare and thus only one of them could really keep a steady job. They had decided it would be Sweet Pea but his temper got him fired more often than not. The longest he ever lasted in one place was six weeks.

“I may be a demon but I still live here on Earth so I have to abide by some mortal constructs. Before I knew what I was, when I thought I was just an ordinary human, I loved in a trailer park much like Sunnyside without the rampant flea problem. My father made enough to get by and that was about it. I always dreamed of living in a huge house with a nice car and clothes that weren’t second-hand. Not having to get food from a church pantry because we had to sell our food stamps to pay the light bill. When I learned how to control my power, I used it for my own personal gain until Myra needed me to target some poor sod for whatever reason. Someone owed a debt and their soul needed collecting or whatnot.” She let out a small sigh. “I live where I live because that’s where Myra insists that I stay. I don’t have a choice in what I can really do with the wealth I’ve amassed.”

She glanced at Lily out of the corner of her eye, “Maybe it would be better suited to just...give it to you.”

Lily bit the inside of her cheek, not wanting to even think about suddenly not having to worry about money. “Keep your money, we’re doing fine. Sweet Pea is out making us some money right now.”

Lav shrugged, “If you say so. What is it that you need me to get?”

“This prophecy should be in some kind of book, somewhere on Earth. All good prophecies are. An oracle somewhere has to know about this and they are bound to have written it down. Get me this book, Lavender, and we can find out how to end this for good.” Lily said, confident in her plan.

“A book? I think I can manage that.” She mumbled, mostly to herself. “Give me a week. I’ll see what I can do.” Her eyes moved to look at the little girl, “Alright, Daze, I better go before your jerkoff father gets home.”

Daisy giggled and crawled over onto her mother’s lap. “Bye, bye, Lavie!” She said happily and Lav smiled back as she stood.

“Bye, bye, Daisy.” She patted her on the head once more playfully. “And thanks for the tea, Lily. My stomach will appreciate it in the morning.”

“No problem, let me know if you need anything else.” Lily said as she hugged her daughter. Lav waved as she exited the cottage, glad to have avoided Sweet Pea for the time being.

Or so she thought. The asshole in question was walking up to the door as she was leaving, scowl on his face. “What are you doing here?” He practically hissed at her.

Lav rolled her eyes at him, “Just leaving, troll.” She said as she walked passed him, he reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her close.

“What did you tell her?” He asked, voice low and angry with an edge of hate.

“The truth. Now let me go or I’ll have Myra smite you where you stand.” Lav said threateningly, though she would never actually do it. Sweet Pea instantly released her and recoiled with a scowl. She watched as he turned and made his way back into the house, noticing that something else was off about him but choosing not to look too far into it.

Three days later, the day after Lily had spent a riveting night with her soulmate, she was ready to perform the spell to get Sweet Pea his soul back. Jughead was there, with Daisy, in the event that something went wrong. The warlock had begun to lash out at the wolf more and more, wishing he’d just stay away but deep down knowing why he couldn’t.

Lavender had not been around since she told Lily the truth about what was going on. Lily had kept it to herself thus far and had been going out of her way to ignore Sweet Pea as it was the easiest way to deal with his meltdowns. He had come home that day with only half the money he was supposed to get. What happened to the other half, she couldn’t get it out of him and was furious.

The oddest thing was when she tried to call the electric company, they informed her that her bill was paid in full. She knew she hadn’t paid it this month and was increasingly worried that there was an error and once they figured it out, they would shut their power off. Unfortunately she didn’t have time to dwell on her growing anxiety over money as there were bigger issues at play. The main one being Sweet Pea’s lack of soul.

“Are you sure this is safe?” Jughead asked, looking between the two witches sitting on the floor. “You’re just going to reach into hell and grab it?”

Lily smiled at him reassuringly. “It’s a little more complicated than that, but yes. I’ve already located it so it won’t be very hard. It will just take a lot of energy. It would have helped if Lavender was here to give me some of hers but...she’s not answering my calls.”

Jughead shifted uneasily, watching Sweet Pea’s eyes darken at what Lily had said. “You haven’t heard from her?” He asked, sounding more annoyed than worried. He didn’t want to let on that he cared at all about the demon. In truth, he didn’t care so much about her right now as he cared about the child growing inside of her.

“She’s fine.” Jughead said, “I checked on her yesterday. Her morning sickness is just getting bad and it’s taking all of her energy just to hunt right now. I guess demon pregnancy is rough.”

“All pregnancy is rough, Jug.” Lily corrected, glancing at Daisy who was playing with her runed blocks on the other side of the room. “Trust me. I’ll go check on her after this. She was supposed to look into something for me.”

Jughead nodded, “alright. Will it be safe to just leave him here?” He asked, motioning to Sweet Pea who was glowering at the two of them for talking as if he wasn’t sitting right there.

Lily turned her head back to look ahead at Sweet Pea, “He’ll be asleep for a while. A day or two, give or take. His soul has been down there for a long time. It’ll take time for it to resettle back into his body. Are you ready, Sweet Pea?” She asked, holding out her hands for him to take.

His large calloused hands grasped hers lightly and they both closed their eyes. Lily was muttering the spell under her breath, barely audible to anyone without supernatural hearing. Jughead didn’t understand Latin so he had no idea what she was saying.

The energy in the room grew so palpable that it was almost unbearable. Daisy stopped playing with her blocks and stared at her mother, somehow acting as if she knew what she was doing despite being so young. Jughead watched her instead of Lily, more interested in her reaction than what his girlfriend was doing.

The five white candles surrounding the two suddenly burst into flame as the temperature in the room climbed to an uncomfortable level. Sweat trailed down Lily’s spine as she brought the blackened soul closer and closer. Her grip on Sweet Pea’s hands were tight and borderline painful. The male witch winced as her nails dug into his flesh.

And then it was over. Sweet Pea’s body went slack and he crumpled forward in a state of unconsciousness. Lily was breathing heavily, feeling dizzy and nauseous all at once. Daisy walked over to her and placed a hand on the side of her face, a faint glow causing the ill sensations to dissipate.

Lily kissed her on the forehead. “Thanks baby.” She said before looking back at Jughead. “Can you help me get him into the bed?”

“Did it work?” Jughead asked, blinking at her. “His soul is back?”

She stood up with his help and rubbed the back of her neck to try and remove the sweat that had collected there. “It’s back but...it’s not in good shape. It’ll take time to heal. He’ll need something I can’t give him.”

Jughead moved around behind Sweet Pea and hoisted the man up awkwardly. Lily helped the best she could in her weakened state to get him into her bedroom. Once there Daisy walked in with a doll that Lily had never seen before.

“Daisy, where did you get that?” She asked, looking at the purple haired doll that had some kind of relaxation charm on it, similar to the one she put on the little girl’s stuffed cat.

“Lavie!” Daisy said as she climbed onto the bed. “Can I nap with daddy?”

Lily’s brow furrowed, unsure when the demon could have given Daisy a gift but appreciating it all the same. “Of course, just don’t wake him up. He’s very tired.”

“I know.” Daisy said as she curled up next to her father, the doll between them.

Jug turned and led Lily out. “If you want to check on Lav, I’ll stay and make sure Daisy is okay.”

A sigh left the witch’s lips as she collapsed on the couch. “I should rest first.” She admitted. “That took way more out of me than I thought it would. I will check on her in the morning. I’ll even take Daze to visit. They seem to enjoy each other’s company.”

Jughead laid down on the couch with his head in her lap so she could play with his hair, knowing it was one of her favorite things to do. “So what was she looking into?” He questioned, closing his eyes as her fingers softly threaded through his thick locks.

“There’s something much bigger going on and I think the four of us are the only ones that can stop it. There’s a book of prophecy she is getting for me. It’ll help us figure a way out of all of this.” Lily said softly, looking down at him with a sad expression that he did not see. Sweet Pea’s soul had been in worse shape than she had imagined it would be. She wasn’t sure what he would be like when he woke up.

The next day, Lavender finally returned the white witch’s phone call to inform her that the book was on its way to her. When asked how she got it, Lav laughed and answered honestly. This book in particular was an original, hand written, very old text that she found on eBay. It’s authenticity was confirmed through a very intensive set of magnified images. Lily wanted to know the price but Lavender refused to tell her, saying it would probably make her faint.

It arrived two days later and before Lavender took it to the cottage in the woods, where the father of her unborn child was finally starting to stir, she decided to take a look at the script herself. What could it hurt? Certainly not much.

Most of it was muddled garbage that made very little sense after the first few paragraphs which outlined her own conception. She finally got to the part about her ill-fated interaction with Sweet Pea and how her daughter was conceived. It aligned almost perfectly with what had happened but there was one line that made her blood run cold. Her heart thumped heavily in her chest as she reread it dozens of times. There was no possible way this could be true. It had to be a mistake. There was no way that Sweet Pea was….he was…

She closed the book and resisted the urge to throw it out of her bedroom window. Instead it sat silently by her side as she sat with her face in her hands, wondering what on earth she was going to do about this. It had been a dream to be free of him once this was over. To disappear somewhere with her daughter, never to have to look upon his handsome face again. If what was written was true, then that would be impossible.

Her phone buzzed and she heard the chirp of a new notification. Lav picked up her phone and saw it was Lily, telling her that it was a good time for her to come over. Sweet Pea was awake and Jughead was on his way. The demon typed back a quick reply that she’d be there in ten.

She slid off the bed slowly, grabbing the book without much care to its delicate condition and left for the cottage.

When she arrived she sat in her car for a moment, weighing her options. She needed Lily’s help but she didn’t want Lily to find out the truth . The truth that Lav wished she didn’t know. She saw Lily’s face appear between the parted curtains of the window. Now that she was caught, Lav had no choice but to go inside.

She exited the car and walked up to the door, Lily opening it before she could even knock. “Did you get it?!” She asked, voice perfectly portraying her excitement.

Lavender swallowed her anxiety thickly. “Yea. Here.” She handed it over, wishing she had blacked that sentence out or done something to alter it. Maybe if no one else knew, then it wouldn’t be real. It was too late for that.

“Are you okay? You look pale.” Lily asked as she led the demon inside of her home. Lav chose not to look through the open bedroom door, knowing that Sweet Pea was laying on the bed. She didn’t think she could stomach looking at him right now, the need to vomit growing in the pit of her stomach.

“Just morning sickness.” She lied. It was three in the afternoon. She was done throwing up for the day. Though morning sickness could be any time of the day, hers typically lasted from early morning to early afternoon. By two she was usually fine enough to go try and collect some food.

Lily ignored the lie, figuring if Lav wanted to tell her what was really bothering her then she would. Jughead walked through the door a second later and her face lit up with a smile. “Juggie, you’re late.”

Jughead smiled, rubbing the back of his head. “My dad had to lecture me about bringing stray cats into the house.” He said, giving Lily a knowing look. “Something about his allergies are bothering him.”

The witch giggled. She often took her feline form when visiting Jughead as it was a safer way for her to travel at night. “Come sit, she brought the book.” She plopped down on the couch and opened it, starting from the beginning.

“Good luck deciphering half of that crap.” Lav said, choose to sit on the floor. “Where is Daisy?”

“She’s trying to heal Sweet Pea.” Lily said quietly. “I don’t have the heart to tell her that her kind of magic isn’t what he needs right now.”

The demon chewed on her lower lip, wanting to ask what the matter was but not wanting to out herself as having any kind of feelings towards him.

Jughead looked between the two, not really understanding the expression Lavender had on her face. “What kind of magic does he need?”

“It’s complicated Jug. Souls can only be healed by their soulmates. We don’t know who his is. If we could find them then this could all be over.” Lily said as she dragged her finger down the spine of the book. “Let’s not worry about that now. Let’s try to see if we can figure this out.”

The three were silent as Lily read the old book aloud. Lav’s teeth drew blood as they dug into her flesh harder and harder. Jughead smelled it and was staring at her, wondering what had her so on edge.

Lily stopped just before the dreaded part. “Does all of this sound right so far? Has all of this happened already?” She looked at Lavender who was staring at the bedroom doorway, distracted.

“Lavender?” She probed. “What is going on?”

“Keep reading.” She mumbled. “You’ll see, just keep reading.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, her gaze sorrowful.

The witch looked back down at the book and went back to reading. “The child shall be born of soulless soulmates. Lost in darkness, two empty halves will be bound to destroy one another once the chosen child is lost to the prince of Hell.” She read, stopping abruptly once the sentence had passed her lips.

A look of realization crossed both Jughead and Lily’s faces as they looked at the demon. Nothing was said for several minutes. The silence was heavy and foreboding.

Lily set the book aside and stood. She approached the demon and crouched down to her level. “We can change this.” She said, “Prophecy is not written in stone. It’s more of a warning of consequence. We’ve already changed the course by getting Pea his soul back. Once we have yours, then the outcome written will be wrong.”

“And, if we keep the baby from getting taken to Hell, then that’ll change too.” Jughead added, trying to help ease the worry.

“I don’t care about my own destruction, that’s more than what I deserve.” Lavender said, her voice soft. “That is not the part bothering me.”

Lily glanced at Jughead before sighing. “He has his soul back now, things will be different. I won’t say that he won’t hurt you again because...he’s an asshole even with a soul. But he won’t do it on purpose. Just give him a chance.”

Lavender huffed, crossing her arms. “Why should I? Do you have any idea how much he’s antagonized me since that night?”

Lily reached out and brushed her hair out of her face. “Yes. I do. This is the man that cheated on me days after I gave birth to his daughter. I understand completely.”

“And that’s another thing! As soon as I have our child he’ll just be out putting his dick in who knows!” Lavender said, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “I don’t want to be a notch on his stupid bedpost.”

“Couchpost. He doesn’t have a bed.” Jughead said in an attempt to lighten the mood. Both women shot him a glare and he quickly shut up.

“He did that to me because we weren’t meant to be. One chance, that’s all I’m asking.” Lily said gently, trying to get her to come to reason. “If you don’t then the world could end and I know you don’t want that.”

At the reminder of the impending apocalypse, Lavender sighed in defeat. “Fine. But there’s still the issue of Myra.”

Lily stood up straight again and grinned, “Don’t worry. As soon as Sweet Pea is back on his feet, then we can tackle solving your little enslavement problem. For now, I’m banishing him to your home until this all blows over.”

“For a white witch, you sure come up with some evil plans” Lav grumbled to her. “Being stuck with him might be worse than hell on Earth.”

A devious look crossed Lily’s face, “just throw up next to him. He won’t be able to stand it and he’ll start puking in solidarity. It’s the perfect way to get back at him. He hates it.”

The demon tried not to laugh, “are you sure you’re a white witch?”

“Trust me, I’m sure.” Lily stretched her arms above her head, cracking several vertebrae in her back. “So, who wants to tell him?”

“Is he actually awake?” Lavender asked, looking back at the doorway to the darkened room.

Lily smiled knowingly, “Yes. He’s being a baby and won’t get out of bed. But I’m about to kick him out so he’s going to have to leave sometime.”

Lavender groaned as she stood up from the floor. “You tell him. He’ll just call me a whore or something along those lines and yell until I leave.”

Lily rolled her eyes as she walked into the bedroom and flicked the light on, earning herself a hiss of anger from Sweet Pea. “Get up, we need money and you’re done laying in bed.”

Sweet Pea opened his eyes to look at her, Daisy playing on the bed next to him with the same doll as before. This time she was making it kiss her stuffed cat, much to both Lily and Lav’s amusement.

“And by the way,” Lily added, turning to walk out of the room, “I’m kicking you out. You have a week.”

“You’re what?!” He shouted as both women left the room, only one stealing a glance back at him before disappearing from view..

Tag List: @the-gargoyle-queen​, @lilhemmo​, @wayward-river​, @southside-vixen, @princesweetpea​, @redhairdontcare732​  (comment/ask/message if you want to be added or subscribe to AO3)

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[theincognitowriter]

A Guy That I Was Kinda (Regrettably) Into: The Personal Narrative of a Contemplative Bisexual

You’ve read the title - you know what you’re getting into. 

So. What else can I say other than: that I’m still unbearably fond of the idiot, even if he keeps an understandable distance away from me, that makes me despicably dejected and sometimes deeply resentful, the circumstances of which are all of my own making? I’m tired of it. I still want to believe we’re friends, but after it all - the emotional fallouts, the forcibly mutual withdrawing, the terrible ache of longing, the awkward and stilted greetings and exchanges, the need to keep a straight face when I see him twitch and hesitate the moment he notices my presence - I am so profoundly inclined to think otherwise, and that maybe I should just ignore him in his entirety, the goddamned buffoon. But yet, he’s still my friend. He’s still the guy that I was kinda (regrettably) into, and I still care, because that’s what a good person would do for their ex-first-love, the lack of mutual reciprocation notwithstanding.

All these words, and I still haven’t even written a name for him to be called. Let’s call him FL - he’d hate that, oh, he really would, but I think it’s cute, and I’m quite attached to the nickname. I would love to go on a prose-filled rant of our “deep and complicated history”, but for my sake and the sake of everyone else reading through this, I can say with certainty that our story can be concisely summarized as a basic lesson in what not to do when expectations don’t align with reality, and how to cope with it and the emotions that continue to roil in your chest even years after the devastating event. 

We were both idiots, is what I’m saying. It was a strange thing, certainly, to fall in love with FL, of all people. He was all soft sides and no muscle, chubby cheeks and priming acne setting in with the early onset of puberty. But it was his awkward laughter, his sickeningly sweet smiles, and wide, naive eyes that raptly gave so much attention to me that drew me in, inundating me in a bath of warm, childish fantasticals and the prospect of being loved and giving love. Of course, that’s probably what all first loves would be like for a teenager. At least, for those who can actually feel romantic love. It’s intoxicating, an almost detestable part of human nature that enslaves us all by collaring us and stringing us all along by our own feelings. Some people are strong enough to take that leash and rip it off - I wasn’t one of them, unfortunately for everyone involved.

It was the most stupid and sad confession ever, done in the middle of the night on the staircase near my room through Discord of all things, with the involvement of some other old friends (Some that I have my own… histories with) that I told to about my love for FL in excruciating detail (because of course 14 year old me did). And boy, did it end in an emotional hell. The next few weeks were a cluster of shame, regret, longing, and other insufferable feelings, the effects of which still ripple to this day. 

It was terrifying, most certainly. I didn’t know how to handle any of it, and I made many terrible decisions. And if I were to, once again, be asked if I would take it all back - I would. I’d give myself more constructive learning experiences that wouldn’t wreak havoc on me and my school life, and instead become the basis for learning how to become a better person - something that I’m somehow only learning to do now. And isn’t that so unbelievably sad? But what else can I say and do now, without the power to change the past, but only the future? I can look forward to that future. I can try to fix what’s become of our friendship, and perhaps make it anew. Maybe I don’t feel as strongly for him as I do now, but that’s a given. I just want him back in my life, outside of a specter that I sometimes pass by and say hi to. I just want the guy that I was kinda (regrettably) into, the guy I once knew as well as the back of my hand, as my friend again. And it’s all I’ll ever need from him now.

Illustration by me.

Accompanying playlist: reminiscence.

[frogocado]

A Golden Labyrinth of Noise Part 3 (Damien Haas au)

Bet you guys didn’t think you’d be getting a playlist and a new chapter! Wahoo, welcome to family angst town, population: Damien, his father, and all of us. Please let me know your feedback or if you’d like to be added on the tag list to know when new chapters are posted. I also follow the tag for my username and the “prince!damien au” tag. Thanks for reading!

Tag list: @latenlghtdevil, @star-mum Start from the beginning here. 

3.  Family Matters

The first time the prince had attempted to escape from the castle, it was the day after his sixth birthday. He had (very poorly) tried to give Healer Johnson the run around, having pointed the opposite direction of the apothecary and said, “What’s that then?” When Healer Johnson had turned around, Damien was scrambling out the door and into the gardens.

Jovenshire found him after he had heard a big thump on top of the hedges. He had abandoned his sheers and rounded the corner where the prince lay crumpled on top of the highest hedge, his palms and fingers filled with brambles.

The fifth time happened only a few hours after the Queen and Damien’s tutor had tried to have an intervention with the boy. He was eleven and the King had wanted to take him to his first diplomacy meeting with the boy’s uncle, thinking maybe some mock politics would ease him into being a prince. He had unsuccessfully tried to saddle a horse, who immediately began to shriek and kick when the prince struggled with the leather saddle.

While Damien’s repeated escape attempts always seemed to disappoint the Queen, the King admired his son’s persistence, even if it was ill-placed. “What will happen when he’s older?” She demanded one evening when the King had refused to speak about it. “When he comes of age and it’s time for business?”

“He’s just enthusiastic is all, my love,” the King had tried to soothe his wife, but after twenty years of marriage, he still had never learned that smothering her flames only made them burn brighter and hotter.

“When has enthusiasm ever been good for the throne?” She had countered. When the King didn’t respond, she had retreated to the library to write.

But now, as the King had just entered Damien’s royal chambers with two books tucked into his robes, he could only see his wife’s face in his mind’s eye, a triumphant, “I told you so,” lacing her smile.

The first thing he noticed was that the newest member of the guard was nowhere to be found. Carefully stepping forward, he left the books on Damien’s desk before approaching the bed. “My son?” He asked, a hand reaching out to push away the covers.

He noticed twine pulled tight from the edge of the cotton, up to the high headboard above it. A lump of pillows surged upward and the King stepped back quickly, startled. When the blanket fell back into place, the pillows settled back against the mattress. The King exhaled a sigh from the tension in his throat and pulled the bit of paper that was peeking out from underneath the blanket. With shaking script, the letter read, “King Haas, here is my unofficial resignation letter. Upon returning, I will be ready to either be hung or turn in an official document. Regardless of the outcome, know that my loyalty is to you, your family, and this kingdom. – Knight Shayne Topp of the Royal Guard”

The King read it a second time, then a third. A light breeze moved through the room and he glanced toward the window. It wasn’t fully closed. He moved across the room and pulled it open, gazing out at the linen ladder discarded across the roof. The King wasn’t sure whether to laugh or rage, lowering himself down onto the window sill to sit.

The door to the chambers burst open half past an hour later. The prince was donning something frayed and canvas while Knight Topp was carrying his chainmail over his shoulder. The two men—boys, the King thought—were both laughing and jovial. King Haas stood as they entered, his chest surging forward as he working the kink out of his back from sitting dormant for so long. Damien noticed him first, his face faltering as his chin rose. “Father,” he said gently, a question lining the end of the word.

Knight Topp immediately dropped to his knee, eyes cast down onto the floor. “Your Highness.” His voice was barely above a whisper, quaking as if the King would take a blade to his neck right then.

“Glad to see both of you are safe and sound. I brought books for you since you were feeling so ill, Damien,” the King responded, keeping his gaze fixed on his son. “But I see that you’re well now.”

“I am, thank you,” Damien bowed his head to his father. When he straightened again, there was a beat of silence that fell over the room. “Father—“

The King held up a hand, halting Damien—his son, his heir—immediately. “Knight Topp,” his voice rumbled like a wave breaking at shore. “You are dismissed. Please wait for me in the corridor.”

“Yes, your Highness,” Knight Topp rose to his feet, his eyes still on his iron boots as he left the chamber.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Damien rolled his eyes, dropping into the upholstered chair near the door. He gave a haphazard glance to the small stack of books his father had brought before his gaze wearily fell onto his father again. To his surprise, the King didn’t look at all disappointed. Instead, he almost looked sad. The King clasped his hands behind his back and began to pace the space between the main chamber and Damien’s bed chamber, eyes moving from the prince to the marbled tiles.

“Father?” Damien prompted and the King stopped pacing, eyes landing on the prince’s face.

“May I ask you a question, Damien?”

Damien scrunched his face in confusion, but shrugged. It was better than a lecture. “I suppose, Father, but—“

The King entered the main chamber again and sat on the couch, hand absentmindedly tracing the rectangle cover of the books. “Do you consider me to be a good man? A good father?”

Damien was silent for a full rest and a half before he began to open his mouth, still unsure of what to say or how to respond. He looked away from the King and toward the door, wondering when it would be a good time to mention Knight Topp. “Answer the question, son,” the King encouraged in a soft tone and Damien looked at the man across from him again.

Damien choked on the words that were forming in his throat before he closed his mouth again. He looked at his father, the King, his king and maker—the man that was his reflection of himself, the version of who Damien could be. Their eyes were the same, as was their affinity for mischief and adventure. He recalled a memory from when he was a boy, sitting atop the counter of Master Healer Johnson’s apothecary as Master Gardener Ovenshire and a sturdy ghost of Damien’s late uncle fenced each other with spare sets of sheers. Everyone was laughing, but his father, perched on the counter next to him, the hardest. The King always laughed the hardest.

“Yes,” Damien answered in a whisper, wondering why his father would ever doubt such a thing. He began to ask about Knight Topp but his father began to speak again.

“And tell me,” the king folded one leg over the other and leaned back. “Would you be this insufferable I were a cruel man and a hard father?”

Damien laughed at this. “Probably more so,” he responded without having to think.

Damien’s father almost smiled at this, but his eyes seemed far sadder and darker than Damien had ever seen them to be. “One more question before we get down to business, as it were.” He paused, glancing around his son’s room before eyes landing on his son. “Why do you insist on disobeying your family? Do you not care about our reputation, what could have happened to you?”

It took so much for the prince to disagree with the idea that all of this was simply one question, but he bit his tongue, seeing what appeared to be hurt and concern cross over his father’s features. Damien had never seen this before, even when he broke his wrist at sixteen from falling off a horse. It wasn’t very royal to care for others, Damien was realizing. Not unless necessary.

Damien sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Not everything is about you, you know. Maybe I just want to learn about things.”

“We have a library, Damien. A large one.”

The prince scoffed, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. “I’m not a boy anymore, father—“

“You’re right, Damien, you’re a prince,” his father countered. Damien began to open his mouth again before his fury stopped, digging itself deep into his throat. He growled instead, eyes landing back on his father again. Why couldn’t he just be a person? Why couldn’t he just be known?

Seeing he had hit a wall, the King stood and moved to a cherry-oak cabinet close to the door. He opened one of the doors, reaching his hand in as he pushed away small bottles from the apothecary and salves for minor wounds. He pulled out the bottle of rum Miss Takahashi had given Damien for his eighteenth birthday and the prince’s eyes went wide. It was a strict rule for their family to not have anything that could sway the mind so close to a resting place. Damien found most of their old superstitions silly. If a rogue wanted to break into his chambers to seduce information out of him, he’d gladly give it up—alcohol or otherwise.  He lurched forward; anxiety brimmed to his teeth as he watched his father casually pour two glasses. “How did you know--?” He asked as his father offered him the second glass before tucking the bottle away again.

“Mari gave it to you and told you how to hide it, correct?” The King asked as he sat across from his son again. “Where do you think she learned it from?”

Damien realized his father meant himself and he sat in null shock for a moment before his father continued. “Did anyone see you?” He asked. “When you went into town?”

The prince looked down at the honey colored liquid in his glass. “No, father.”

The King made a noise of approval and sipped his rum. “And that knight… he’s the new boy from the city guard—“

“Shayne,” Damien answered. “Knight Topp. He didn’t have anything to do with my actions, father. I almost tried out the window before he gave me an alternative. I didn’t know he had even left the castle until I realized he was following me.”

His father pondered this for a minute or so, the glass growing warm in his hand. Damien wanted to ask about the death of his uncle, the mausoleum entrance into town, the entrance he was never told about. He bit his tongue as he heard Knight Topp’s heavy armor clink in the corridor outside as his friend shifted from foot to foot. Damien swallowed his questions and cleared his throat, starting again. He kept his voice solid and he raised the volume in his lungs, wanting it to carry. “Father, I’m asking on Knight Topp’s behalf for a pardon—not just as your son and the prince, but also as his friend.”

His father drained the rest of his glass before settling it on the golden table next to him. He folded his hands in his lap before sighing. “This is my only offer. I will not provide a counter. Will you listen?” Damien nodded once before the king continued, “he will be granted a pardon on a single condition—I appoint him to be your personal guard under my knights. He will serve as your number two, your chaperone, and your security. When you inevitably journey back into town, he is required to keep a record of your travels. Do you understand?”

Damien’s heart was swelling in his chest and he found it hard to hide his excitement. “Yes, father,” he whispered, imagining what new adventures he and Knight Topp would have.

The King rose to his feet, looking down at his son. “One final thing, Damien—if your mother hears a single whisper about your journeys outside of these walls from an attendant, a servant, a cook, or a laborer, your friend will be banished from the kingdom.”

Damien’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he began to protest, standing quickly. “How could you—?”

“Because I am the King and you are the prince and I will not be undermined by anyone. He’s a damn good Knight, but he should have apprehended you instead of helping you escape, no matter what you told the poor sod.”

“But—“

“But nothing!” His father roared. Damien immediately stilled, though he was still fuming. “You are my son and my heir, Damien. You will be the King one day and I’ll be damned if you screw up every single opportunity your mother and I have worked tirelessly to provide for you.”

“Damn the crown,” Damien mumbled, turning away from the King. He walked toward the large window across the room, gazing out at the city. His eyes traveled the path from the church’s graveyard to the pub. The yellow glow from inside was spilling into the street like small puddles “Every single opportunity has been one for yourselves. Have you ever once considered what I desire instead?”

“Can you be so daft, boy? Those people require a head for that crown.” Damien turned back around when he heard his father pouring himself a second drink. The King sighed, sitting back down on the couch. “That’s my only offer, Damien,” he said, his voice much softer, nearing exhaustion. The man glanced over at his child. “Do you accept my terms?”

The prince scoffed, “obviously.”

His father began to laugh as he rose once again to his feet. “Excellent, I will have him fired and then hired immediately. For the records, my boy, you are only the second most stubborn Haas in our family.”

“There’s someone more insufferable than your own son?” Damien rolled his eyes at the backhanded compliment and crossed back over the room, grabbing the glass from his father’s hand. He drained it and handed it back, emptied. “Who’s the first?”

King Roland Haas grinned a full, proud, toothy smile. “Me.” He turned to leave before he hesitated, lurching the doors of the wooden cabinet open. He pulled the bottle of rum out and headed for the corridor. “I’m confiscating your contraband. See you in the morning, son, sleep well.”

The door closed full and heavy behind him and Damien scrambled to press his ear against it, hearing the King call Knight Topp away from his chambers. The prince cursed, knowing it would be dumb to press his luck by following them. He was exhausted anyway, full of drink and plenty to think about until the morning.

He sighed, pulling on the ties of his cotton tunic and crossed over to the window again. The curtains to the tavern were finally drawn, though a window on the second floor now contained a single, flickering flame. Damien’s mind wandered back to his adventures of the evening, his first successful escape and the very beginning of a new friendship and a new adventure.

[softchenlele]

SKZ secret Santa 2018

hi, this is admin kitty! i’m sorry to be so late, but here’s your present, @mmulti !! I hope you like it!!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, and for their second Christmas together as Stray Kids, they’re having a little festive dinner. Jeongin is happily humming along his playlist, setting the table up, decorating the dorms, dancing a little, while the hyungs are out for a last grocery run. Hyunjin had forgotten to buy some salmon (“how could you‼”) and they were fresh out of drinks (“if we can’t have wine, let us have cola‼”); so the youngest decided to stay and finish setting up as he waited for everyone to come back.

So many things had changed since last Christmas. First of all, they had officially debuted; the nine of them standing together at their debut showcase had felt surreal. Enthusiastic fans standing by them and cheering them on, they put out another album, and then a third one, stages following each other, music shows, variety shows, all so fast. It really felt like a blur, a hazy dream, and Jeongin wouldn’t ever want to wake up. He’d wanted that for too long for it just to fade, all the hard work, all the sleepless nights, he’s so proud of it, and he hopes his family is proud too.

Setting nine plates on the table, nine spoons, nine pairs of chopsticks, nine glasses, he thinks about his newfound brothers, not of blood but of heart. Don’t get him mistaken though, he really thinks that bond is stronger than anything. Blood is thicker than water? Chan told him the saying is incomplete anyway. He’s really thankful for the leader, he’s the one who brought them together, and as such he earned so much respect from everyone. He’d watched him work at stupidly late hours so many times before, falling asleep in front of his computer, always working on new music; Chan truly was a force to be reckoned with.

Baby maybe you know me pretty well

That’s why I see your worried look

Closing his eyes, Jeongin sings along to the voice coming out of the speakers. He thinks of Woojin, Woojin and his wonderful voice, a unique tone recognizable between a thousand. Caring, sweet, skilled and trustworthy Woojin, always bettering himself. Minho, confident, strong and passionate, although sometimes cheesy with cameras but never too careless. Changbin, who insists his concept is “dark”, Jeongin can’t help but laugh at the thought. Badass maybe, but no one will ever manage to convince Jeongin that his Binnie-hyung is dark.

Take my hand, let’s go anywhere

Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix and Seungmin, the loud and energetic boys of 2000, pop into his mind, four bright smiles and cheerful voices. Hyunjin, once overlooked by fans or only seen for his looks, carved himself a spot in everyone’s hearts through dancing, and his charisma on stage is nothing to scoff at either; as for Jisung, Jeongin thinks his raps are really cool. Have you heard his part in District 9?? Wonderful. Magical. Felix… Felix went through a lot. From the boy who couldn’t speak well to the boy who adds shine to their songs, he had to possess quite some strength to pull through. Jeongin is grateful for him, and so, so thankful that he got to debut with him; he wouldn’t have it any other way. And finally, there is Seungmin, boy of many talents, like MCing or savageness, to name a few besides singing. He’s caring, snarky, quick-witted, often teases Jeongin, but that’s brotherly love, right?

No matter when, you’re always by my side

Indeed they are, and as he puts the last finishing touches on the table, he can only wish for many more Christmases together. The thought puts a soft smile on his lips, and as he goes to check on the tteokbokki, he finds himself full-on singing now. The next song plays and as he’s nodding along to Day6’s songs, he can’t help but picture Seungmin going absolutely wild over them. Kim Seungmin truly is a successful fanboy, he thinks, and that makes for extremely funny moments.

The door opens and eight boys spill in the living room, carrying a few bags and dropping them on the table. They all share a can of soda, finally resting for the day, gathered around the coffee table, and as he looks around at the people with him, Jeongin feels a warm something settle in his chest. Now, he knows what people mean when they talk about a home far from home. It’s a place where you belong and feel at ease, where you can be just yourself and no one else, surrounded with people you love. Maybe it’s far from his home and family, but he feels safe here, with his hyungs gathered around. Everyone shares stories of past Christmases, Felix in Australia making not snowmen but sandmen on the beach, Jisung with his parents playing card games, Minho watching movies with his family, cuddled up on a couch…

And then it hits him that this is the first Christmas he spends without his parents, without his brothers, and his heart tightens a little. He loved to see the eyes of his little brother fill with stars as he opened his gifts, his father always taking pictures of them all, and smiles everywhere he looked; Jeongin’s eyes get a little watery, he misses his family so much sometimes. But they’re in Busan, and he still has to wait before he can see them. Chan notices the forlorn look on his face, which Jeongin didn’t notice he was making.

“Jeonginnie, is something the matter?”

Jeongin’s eyes widen, scrambling for a response. “Ah, no… It’s nothing! I was just thinking that a lot of things happened to us this past year…”

Minho chuckles. “That’s an understatement! 2018 might have been the most exciting year of my life‼”

“It sure was a busy year,” Felix pipes up, “but seeing where it got us, it really was worth it all!”

Jeongin smiles at his teammates fondly. Ever the optimists, the whole lot of them. This year was also such a bright year, he recalls, the nervousness and anticipation of the debut showcase, the smiles during promotions on music shows, meeting all the Stays who came from far away to attend fanmeetings, those were really good times. Everyone goes to sit at the table, and again he thinks about his parents back home, and about how many things he’d talk about, how many stories he’d tell them around a good cup of tea and some snacks. And the Rookie awards at the end-of-the-year shows, Jeongin still can’t believe they’re real; that he held them in his hands, that he didn’t dream it all up. Performing on huge stages, before a sea of people and famous senior artists is a sight he thinks will be burned forever in his retinas and his memory, a sight at the same time eerie and painfully real as he remembers the stress he felt while going up on stage. But once you’re up there, there’s no turning back, no escaping, and so you give it everything you’ve got, give the people a run for their money, because it’s the only thing left for you to do. You have to make it just as memorable for them as it was for you. With that sole thought in mind, Jeongin became someone else; he sang with all his heart, danced with all his strength, and though he might be still lacking here and there, he goes up on the stage to enjoy it.

Hyunjin goes to the kitchen and brings back the pots that were simmering on the stove, one containing spicy tteokbokki, the other with a generous quantity of spaghetti bolognese (Seungmin had been craving that for a week, he was getting insufferable, so… merry Christmas?). Everyone immediately digs in, and the table goes silent, but as his mom says: when a table is silent, it means the food is good! The pots quickly diminish as they all eat their fill, feeling happy and contented, like a good meal together makes you feel. Jeongin can’t lie, he really loves this feeling, and napping afterwards is the best feeling in the world, he loves to do just that when he has some time. Then Jisung goes to get the dessert, a chocolate cake that looks a bit like a wood log; Chan had told him once that it’s traditional in France, but he had no clue as to why they made the cakes look like logs and not, like, reindeers? Sleighs? Wouldn’t that feel more Christmas-y?

They all choose that time to exchange gifts, Changbin gets brand new earphones, Seungmin a pretty new jacket, courtesy of Felix, and Woojin even teased Chan by getting him a very soft, comfortable-looking neck pillow. Jeongin looks around, and finds Chan holding out a letter for him to take.

Jeongin,

Maybe you thought you wouldn’t get anything? Don’t worry, your hyungs did prepare something.

Open the front door.

Jeongin stares at Chan, puzzled, looks to Seungmin, then Minho, but everyone has the same conspiratory smile, and so he slowly makes his way to the front door of the dorm, opening it slowly.

He almost falls on his butt when he sees the gift.

His parents are standing right here, in front of him! They came all the way up from Busan, just in time to visit him for Christmas, and he feels like he’s either about to spontaneously combust, or start bawling then and there. He settles for the latter, and tears pour out as he buries himself in his parents’ embrace, he’d missed them so much that hugging them tight is the only thing he can do at that point.

His eight friends are watching him fondly, clearly proud of the effect of their gift. “We didn’t exactly go only to the convenience store earlier”, says Changbin, “we had to perfect our timing with your parents. It was actually Felix’s idea though, so make sure to thank him”, he finishes with a smirk.

Jeongin frees himself of his parents’ hold after a moment, turns around and without missing a beat, goes for a group hug with the best bandmates ever. His voice trembles a bit when he speaks again. “This is the best gift you could have ever gotten me. I love you guys so much.”

Chan is the one who answers him.

“We’re so proud of you, really. Merry Christmas, we love you, Jeonginnie.”

[akimbohimbo]

haven’t done this in awhile

Issa tag meme, folks! I was tagged by the insufferable @laffayete to do a thing :) (don’t worry i know her irl im allowed to say that) 

This is gonna be hella long so I apologize in advance :’) 

1. What’s the smell of your shampoo? 

bold of u to assume i ever wash my hair 

OFF TO A GREAT START, YEEHAW Y’ALL 

jk but i guess i will NEVER know because my mom doesn’t keep shampoo labels :’) 

2. What’s your aesthetic? 

things that relate to space (pulsars, quasars, the sun, planets) 

nature (sunsets, the sky, forests, oceans) 

minimalism (in terms of cinematography and posters)

i went to japan last summer and i would consider literally everything about it my aesthetic, especially with the way they organize things  

music-related aesthetics 

anything boujee in terms of fashion: trench coats, pea coats, leather jackets, suits, dresses, jumpsuits, literally anything that naomi smalls and manila luzon wear is right up my alley 

the small of a woman’s back, collarbones, jawlines

anything intricately designed (music boxes)

flowers (orchids, daisies, sunflowers, tulips, roses)

just to name a few 

3. What’s your favourite time of day? 

i really like the hour right before a sunset. the clouds usually start to clear and the colours of the sky start to blend with each other. depending on the sunset, everything is temporarily red or blue, and even if it’s a particularly cloudy or rainy day, there’s a gentle light coming from up above that’s just very serene and relaxing. 

i also really like being outside at 3am, albeit that seldom happens. the streets are very quiet, and there’s this sense of peace that floods over me. it’s like, for a moment, i don’t feel overwhelmed and everything is just. calm. 

4. What do you like most about the beach? 

i love the beach. if i’m being honest, i love the memories i have attached to the place more than the place itself. i’ve been to dozens of beaches around the world, which each have their fair share of beautiful physical attributes that one could potentially admire. some beaches have cliffs that tower over its surroundings, while others have turbulent waters that are filled with flora and fauna; some have soft, white sand and others have mouldable sand that can be used to play with. 

5. What do you worry about constantly? 

not doing enough in terms of academics, or friendships, or even just in terms of self-care. i also worry about my constant need to overthink and my hunger for spice in my life?? these days it hasn’t been hectic and it’s what i say i always want, but i hate being bored. i have an addiction to thrill, and that’s not healthy either. there is so much i want to do, but i keep delaying everything because i am afraid anything i do won’t be worthwhile. this is why my friends tell me i need to relax lmao :-) 

6. What is a song you’ve cried to before? 

i literally have playlists reserved for specific moods. i’m too lazy to write out a full playlist bc i put a lot of thought into them but these are the songs that immediately popped into my head that correlate to my current mood:

if i’m being honest by dodie

once you by jacob collier

quelqu’un m’a dit by carla bruni

i’ll cover you (reprise) from rent the musical

maybe from next to normal the musical

ocean wide, canyon deep by jacob collier

burned out by dodie

visions of gideon by sufjan stevens

chicago by sufjan stevens

let’s get lost by elliott smith

you & i by queen

somebody that i used to know by elliott smith

the predatory wasp of the palisades are out to get us! by sufjan stevens

dancing with a ghost by st. vincent

neu roses (transgressor’s song) by daniel caesar

just a few lmao i cry to a lot of songs 

7. What are some relaxing tips for your followers? 

take long walks and listen to some music. allow yourself to catch your breath when things are getting overwhelming and it feels like you can’t get a handle on anything. drink tea, maybe watch a sunset if you have the time. write, write, write your emotions out. watch some funny movies/comedy bits.

8. What are some things that make you tear up? 

whenever my friends show me that they really do care for me and appreciate my existence??? the other day my friend got drunk and sent me a heartfelt text that said that they were grateful for me being there for them despite the fact that i have an overwhelming amount of shit to deal with on my own. it was at like 2am and i literally cried. i like being appreciated. also dogs. and when my friends send me memes that remind them of me. i also really love good music (more specifically, albums that feel complete). wholesome shit. and showing my friends that i appreciate their existence, too.

9. What is your favourite thing from each of the five senses? 

sound: hearing my friends genuinely laugh. the sound of rain and its pitter patter onto a windowsill. orchestral music. guitar riffs. good cello playing. percussion (love me some good beats). jacob collier’s thought process as he says them out loud. IN-TUNE PIANOS. stradivarius violins. daniel caesar’s soft voice. duets. grainy recordings of jazz. 

smell: oatmeal, chocolate chip cookies, fresh barbecue, food in general. the scent on some of my friends (some of them smell like laundry detergent and i love that). onions sizzling on a hot pot.

sight: seeing people smile. more specifically, jacob collier’s smile. dogs. visually aesthetic cinematography. cameras.

touch: silk. cashmere. the playful, soft touch of fingers or lips running along my thighs and/or neck. a thumb gently rubbing onto my hand assuring me everything is going to be okay. the feeling of my fingers as they hop and skid along a piano. a soft kiss on my forehead. 

taste: i will literally eat anything don’t try me. 

10. What is one alternative reality you’d want to be in? 

one where my mind is calm and not constantly confused and unsure of literally everything. one where i know exactly what i want. one where there is no political distress and everyone gets along and people are all decent human beings with a moral backbone stronger than a chocolate eclair. one where i can do things to my fullest potential without having to worry that i didn’t try or do anything hard or well enough.

11. What are some troubles you face on a day to day basis? 

waking up and contemplating whether things are worth it. not to be edgy but i know i could be doing so much more than i am currently doing with my life. also procrastination. 

12. What is one scene of a book that made you really sad? 

honestly? i block off everything sad whenever i read a book, whoops! i guess the one that comes to mind right now is in the third book of the pjo series, when zoe nightshade dies. the whole thing where she was like, “stars, i can see the stars again m’lady.” that was the first time i ever cried while reading a book, and i don’t really cry much when indulging in media. 

13. Say something to your followers 

i like too many things and im sorry that my blog is messy but also i hope u all still enjoy my content WOO i have too many hyperfixations :’)

im supposed to tag people, so uhh here’s a few of my mutuals. you don’t have to do this btw.

@grandtheftpoptart @matteolcerilli @dear-goodbye @stalkhome-sindrone @mercutiowned @somewherebetweensenseandnonsense @mlmneilperry

[babyleclerc]

Favorites

Pairings: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Style: One-Shot

Warnings: Language and implications of sex. Otherwise it’s just pure, fun fluff.

Word Count: 1,364

Summary: Tom asks you a few Marvel questions, which leads to an interesting revelation about his coworkers.

A/N: Soft!Tom destroys me in this piece. I hope you enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. ;) Also please don’t come @ me for the thoughts on Hulk/Banner. It’s all in good fun. As usual, gif isn’t mine!

Though it had been a few hours, the smell of sex still lingered in the warm air of your bedroom. Tom lay shirtless on his back, book in hand, while you sat next to him - one leg bent underneath you, the other sprawled across his stomach, hunched over your phone. Tom’s free hand rested on your thigh, absentmindedly rubbing your soft skin in circles. You were lounging in panties and one of Tom’s old shirts, just the way he liked you to be. Spotify’s Relax playlist played softly on your Amazon Echo, filling the comfortable silence.

“Babe?” You ask, as your thumb swipes up your Instagram feed lazily. 

“Hmm?” He replied, eyes never leaving his book as he turned the page. 

“If you couldn’t play Loki, who would you want to be?” You double tapped a picture of Seb in sunglasses. 

“Thor.” He responded quickly, eyes still locked on his book.

“And if you couldn’t play Thor?”

“Loki.” 

You grinned, hitting his chest lightly. “Cheater.” You say, still Insta swiping, while Tom cracked a smile.

“I am the god of mischief.” He retorted, winking at you. After a few minutes of silence, he reached towards his nightstand, grabbing his bookmark and placing it inside his book, snapping it shut. 

“Now you’ve intrigued me.” He says, letting his right hand fall to your hip, tugging at you gently. 

“About what?” You glance up from your phone. 

“First - mercy. Please.”

You sighed dramatically. ‘Mercy’ had become a very popular word in your relationship over the past few years. It was to be used when the other person wanted something - such as putting a phone away for undivided attention, calling a truce in a tickle war, pressing pause on a fight, etc. In this instance, he was asking you to put down your beloved iPhone. 

You tossed your phone to the side of the bed in compliance, physically turning your body to face him but keeping one leg tucked under you and the other across his torso.

“Alright, phone has been mercy’d to oblivion. How can I help you, sir?”  

Tom chuckled at your pet name that was usually reserved for the bedroom. “I have questions for you.” He began, his left hand wandering down your thigh slowly. 

“Hit me.” You say, grinning. Time with Thomas alone was a rarity these days. Between filming Infinity War, rehearsing for theatre productions, and your career - you hardly at time together anymore. It was a constant mix of varying levels of effort, exhaustion, and commitment to keep your relationship thriving and happy. So intimate, uninterrupted conversations like these were the most precious to you. You had once equated them to having the significance of an infinity stone, which had made Tom laugh and tease you unceasingly. 

“Who is your least favorite superhero?” He finally asked.

You crinkled your nose, “In the Marvel universe?”

“Hmm.” Tom affirmed, still letting his hand wander.

“Ugh, I was hoping you wouldn’t say that. Superman is the fucking worst.” Tom laughed in response, “Uhmmmmm, I guess Hulk?”

“What?! Why?” He asks you, bewildered. 

“Ugh, I don’t know. There’s just something about Bruce Banner that gets under my skin. Like he was basically trying to become Cap but obviously turned out to be a way suckier version ‘cause he fucked with the gamma rays and now he’s screwed as Hulk. And he’s always whining about not being able to control it but like, dude, you literally did this to yourself, so, why don’t you try taking Tony’s advice and learn how to actually manage your green situation?!”

Tom’s bewildered laugh echoed across the room. Eyes closed, mouth half open, his hand gripping your leg as he struggled to control his breathing. 

“Darling, you are not allowed on set. Ever.”

“What!” You shout, outraged, but laughing. “I cannot be the only person with this opinion.”

“I’m fairly certain that almost no one else agrees with you on this one. No sane person anyway.”

You scowled at him, folding your arms across your chest. “I guess that’s why they call it an opinion.” 

“Yes, right,” Tom chuckles, tucking your hair behind your ear, “Let’s hear more of these wild so-called opinions. Favorite superhero in Marvel?”

“That’s such an unfair question,” you groan, falling over onto your left side, opposite Tom.

“It’s not a test, darling.”

You glared at him, “I can’t pick. I love them all for separate reasons.”

“Just pick one.”

“Nooooo.” You whine, taking your right hand and intertwining your fingers with his. 

“Alright then, narrow it down for me. Who are your top three?”

“Cap, Thor, Bucky.” You respond immediately. 

“Ahh. This makes sense now.” Tom murmured in response, fiddling with your hand in his. “Arguably the three most attractive men in the MCU, eh?”

You blushed, and instantly began to protest. “That’s not why!”

“But you don’t deny it!” He laughs, “After all these years, the truth finally comes out: my seemingly devoted wife has the hots for my coworkers.”

“That’s not true and you know it.” You huff, though your scarlet cheeks give you away. He pokes your side in teasing adoration. It’s not that you found them sexually attractive (you were hopelessly devoted to your lover with unwavering certainty) but they weren’t exactly ugly, either... 

“So all those months of me begging, pleading with you to go out with me, really I was just vying for your attention over Chris and Sebastian?” Tom teased, pinching your waist lightly. “I would hate to have seen the outcome if Hemsworth hadn’t been married.”

“I’m starting to think I picked unwisely.” You say dryly, glaring at him and swatting his hand away. 

“Oh come now, darling. It’s only a bit of fun.” He catches your hand and placed a gentle kiss on your wrist. “Besides, what fun would life be if I didn’t tease you a little?”

“A more pleasant one.” You mumble, while Tom laughs against your wrist, lips still hovering over your veins. 

“Come here.” He commands, sitting up so that he can pull you onto his lap. You obliged, scooting over his stomach, straddling him, allowing your hands to rest on his chest. Your hair sloppily falls to the sides of your face as you peer down at him, still frowning from the topic of conversation. He smiles up at you, causing your insides to turn in all different directions. All it took was that look to make you forget how insufferable he could be at times. 

“You know, you didn’t ask me the most important question of all.” You say softly, tracing your fingers on his chest. Tom’s right hand rested on your waist, while his left gently curled a lock of hair between his long fingers. 

“And what question is that, my love?” He asked huskily, eyes lost in drinking you in.

“Who my favorite Marvel actor is.” 

Tom smiled, slipping his right hand underneath your shirt and gently rubbing along your low back. “And who might that be?” He played along, meeting your gaze. 

You raise both hands to cup his face, lightly tracing a finger over his stubble. You whisper softly, “Thomas William Hiddleston.” Before pulling him into a slow, meaningful kiss. You sigh happily into his mouth as he reciprocates, allowing all of your muscles to relax into him. 

His arms wrap around your frame, squeezing you gently as he breaks the kiss to nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck.

“Have I told you recently that I love you?” He asked, kissing you softly. 

You smile, shaking your head. “Not enough.”

“Hmmm, we should fix that.” He murmured against your skin, placing another kiss just below your collarbone. “I love you.” A kiss on your shoulder. “Je t’aime.” A kiss on your arm. “Te amo.” His nose nuzzled your soft skin, before raising his head to look into your beautiful eyes once more. The woman he could not live without; the woman who gave his life meaning and purpose. Who made the sun rise and the stars shine across the sky. “Se agapó.” He whispers finally in Greek, before he pulls you in for another night of slow, passionate, lovemaking. 

Fin.

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[michaelmyersmalewife]

stitches | chapter 3

masterlist | playlist

summary: You’re a nurse for a fairy reputable emergency clinic with a fairly useful quirk. And you also happen to be the hero killer’s closest ally.

words: 900+

ship: akaguro chizome/stain x reader

warning(s): n/a

Stain sat as patient as ever on his usual spot on your bathtub while you struggled to get your first aid kit to close.

After that "incident" a few days ago you had decided it was about time to restock your supplies. Admittedly, you might have overdone it.

You fumbled with the box, cursing under your breath when one of your fingers got pinched by its latch. You set it down on the counter a little more harshly than you anticipated, but you were too distracted by the acute pain in your hand to care. You tried to brush off the stinging in your finger that had increasingly become more bothersome the harder you tried to ignore it. You only started caring when you heard Stain shift behind you. You turned back around to face him, hiding the pinched finger under the box.

"That should be enough. If anything else is bothering you you know where-"

Before you had the chance to finish, Stain grabbed your wrist, fingers curling around it and pulling you towards him. You froze, not even daring to breathe.

"What are you-?"

He brought your hand close to his face, inspecting your injured finger too close for your comfort. It was hard to see from your angle, but you could feel miniscule dots of blood beading to the surface of your finger.

"Hey." you said as firmly as you could, wanting to cringe at your jittery tone.

Despite your frantically darting eyes, he didn't break contact once. Without hesitation he held your finger in front of his lips, slowly pressing your finger against them. You could feel the warmth of his breath hit your skin, and to your surprise, his lips didn't feel as chapped as you always thought they were. God you were so sure your face was as red as a cherry. But that obviously wasn't stopping him. If anything, it only goaded him on more. There was a hint of a smirk that tugged at the corner of his lips the more obviously nervous you became. You looked to the side, feigning a calm that you knew he could see through. His smile only grew and, to your alarm, revealed the tip of his tongue peeking beyond his teeth.

He wouldn't dare.

"Let me go, Stain."

Your skin crawled when you felt it creep along your finger, somehow managing to avoid the tiny bit of blood that rose to its surface. You were beginning to squirm, and you would've pulled your hand away had you not known better. You could only imagine his expression.

You chanced looking over at him, and you could feel a chill run down your spine when you were met with his dark eyes staring back. But it was his almost satisfactory grin splayed across his face that made yours twist into an annoyed glare. Your free hand was stiff at your side clenched in a fist.

"Chizome."

You felt his hand become tense, and he looked up at you with an unreadable expression. Just when you thought he was about to let you go, his grasp didn't lessen. Instead he brought your hand to the side of his cheek. You rolled your eyes.

Stain always managed to be insufferable, even while he was lightly kissing your palm. You didn't know where all this was coming from but you weren't about to question it. There was something comforting about having his large, warm hand encased around yours. He sighed into your hand, almost leaning into it. You felt him smile.

"You know I'd never."

"You know I hate it when you play around like that." You snickered, a light noise that came out sounding more like a huff.

Bringing your other hand to his cheek, you framed his face. It was rare for him to allow you to do this. Even more so to find him in such a pleasant mood in general. Unless it had just been a good day at "work". His eyes still held that determined expression they always had, but something about them was just a bit softer than usual. It was almost odd to witness. If you had a list of words you'd use to describe the man in front of you, soft was definitely not high on that list. But it had been fairly long since you'd seen him like this, so you weren't about to complain.

Stain had always been the one to make the first move. It wasn't so much that you were too sheepish to initiate anything, but in all the years you had known him he had always been more straight-forward than most people you knew. You were grateful for that in a way.

You could feel his other arm wrap around your back, slowly pulling you closer to him. You sighed as he continued peppering your palm with kisses while you stroked his cheek with your thumb almost encouragingly. Behind you, you felt his hand snake its way down from your back to your waist. You could feel your breath becoming shaky with every second, and when you felt his hand travel further down a choked yelp escaped you. Stain smiled.

In one quick movement you tugged down his red headband over his eyes. He almost immediately let go of you out of surprise, hands flying to his face almost comically to push up the headband.

"Nope. I got another early shift tomorrow." You punctuated that statement with a light pat on his cheek, turning around so that he wouldn't see the grin growing along your face.

"You know the way out." you said with a slightly amused tone in your voice, drowsily waving him off.

As you headed to your room, you could faintly hear a low, tired chuckle from behind you.