#this is the longest post i ever typed in 12 years on this site
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Some concert thoughts
So i saw Rise Against live last week and i've been (unsuccessfully) trying to write a post about it so here are some thoughts in no particular order:
I spent the whole evening standing at the barrier, inching closer to the center every time people moved around between sets, still ended up on the side, view was great though
During give it all Tim came down to the barrier in the other side so i basically couldnt see at all (😭), BUT he came down again during savior and stopped right in front of me on my side, so i had a moment of me and Tim just smiling at each other from different sides of the barrier wich was amazing!!!
Also i just realised then how small Tim is? Like i was standing in the metal things?? on the floor at the barrier and idk how even the ground was on the other side, but i stared right over the top of his head for the first moment because i was looking straight ahead ooops 😅
They did play a new song!!! And by that i mean they played the song, i spent the whole time trying to match the melody to something in my head to sing along and then Tim went "that was a new Song btw"
So i cant tell you much about it because i dont remember a single word from it, but it did sound amazing!!
New Album when
I loved how clearly you could hear the backing vocals!!
The last time a saw them i couldnt hear them at all, but the acoustics in that place were a bit weird so maybe thats just me?
They played a lot of songs from the sufferer and the witness wich ist my fav rise against album so that was great, especially loved hearing worth dying for live for the first time.
BUT i also love the newer stuff and it kinda sucks that it doesnt get played much (yeah i know everyone wants to hear the old hits especially at Festival shows), i REALLY loved nowhere generation for example and i would LOVE to hear those songs live
The concert was on August 10th, wich was the 20th anniversary of siren song of the counter culture wich was kinda cool.
Im bad at remembering dates, so while i knew that the album turned 20 this year i had no idea it was on that day until Tim said it.
I also had no idea that it was called siren song of THE counter culture and had been calling it just siren song of counter culture all these years so maybe im just a bit dumb ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
A bug landed on Tims shoulder, he picked it up and talked about how it really feels like summer when bugs land in you, and how they have the same bugs in chicago and it feels like theres a bit of home there
Idk i just thought that was lovely?
And how much did that bug have to pay for the best view in the whole place?
Tim forgot the second verse of ready to fall and just sang nonsense words to the melody, and i thought how thats actually really really impressive that he can just...do that. And that i wish i had the confidence to just sing anything when i forget the words.
Like 30 or 40 minutes later i forgot the words to the 2nd verse of audience of one and just screamed nonsense words along to it so that didnt take me long 🤣
I hurt my shoulder. Again. Didnt even go in the pit.
Rise Against is bad news for my shoulders.
Still 1000% worth it
#this is the longest post i ever typed in 12 years on this site#funny how it took 11 years and a 30 follower sideblog for my fav band to start making my own posts at all#do i tag this or not?
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tag game ✨
thanks for tagging me zey @thasorns ♥ i teared up at your addition about me, that is so sweet :( i miss our dff talks too! idk what you're into these days but would love to talk about some show with you again :')
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1. why did you choose your url?
bc am obsessed with one (1) man who belongs to another amazing guy ♥ (been thinking about an url change lately tho bc i'd like to put last twilight and the hurt it caused behind me but haven't found something else to tie myself to yet. maybe we are and phumpeem if the ending delivers?)
2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.
not really. the only side blog i have is my og url vishcount saved for nostalgia purposes but there's nothing on that blog
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
started on this hellsite (affectionate) on the lord's year 2013 and it shows
4. do you have a queue tag?
i don't use the queue much so no. you will only catch me reblogging like ten posts in a row when am online/in the mood and then going back to lurking again
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
i was into a bunch of animes and tumblr was filled with amazing fanart. i wanted to be able to look at them in peace
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
to show who my url is about ♥ mork my beloved
7. why did you choose your header?
wanted it to fit the theme. also i adore the last twilight rooftop kiss, it's one of the brightest spots of the show
8. what’s your post with the most notes?
most likely this the untamed edit from 2020. i was truly living my peak back then :'D tbh i feel like the whole of tumblr was living its peak when the untamed was airing and when we all lost it together for the longest time after
9. how many mutuals do you have?
way too many and i adore all of them, tho i probably forget or cannot recognize most of them. especially if you've changed your url/main fandom OR i have, we might not even know each other anymore haha
10. how many followers do you have?
more than i deserve and idk what all of you are even doing here but i like feeling like i'm part of some type of crowd ♥
11. how many people do you follow?
quite recently i unfollowed some inactive blogs and blogs about things i don't really care for anymore so my follow count is a nice number of 205
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
uh. i don't really know? do some posts from my finnish tumblr (suomitumppu) era count? :'D
13. how often do you use tumblr each day?
am chronically online and i open this app like a fridge
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?
no, not really. am not really one to share strong opinions, especially negative opinions, publicly online which i think is the cause of most arguments ppl have here. i'd rather just keep my peace and be nice
15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts
mostly i don't like doing things when am told to do them
16. do you like tag games?
yes! it always makes me happy to know that someone is thinking about me and i do find these a lot of fun to do ^^
17. do you like ask games?
also yes. i just don't often reblog those bc i don't really have a lot of interactions on this site. if i find an ask game with very interesting questions, i might forward it to kiddo @i-am-just-a-kiddo and we do it together privately to enjoy it like that ♥
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
the first one that comes to mind is hanyi @ruanbaijie who i think deserves all the recognition for her absolutely amazing giffing skills ♥ she's also the sweetest so idk what's not to follow, make her even more famous if you can!
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
nope. idk if i function like that tbh. i have some huge friend crushes tho and want to be closer with some ppl a lot! not mentioning names bc am shy haha
but i want to say that monica @stormyoceans is very important to me these days. she brightens up my days and makes my whole fandom experience so much better by simply being her enthusiastic and authentic self ♥ never change!
and also jessi @oswlld who i still cannot believe is someone i can call my friend and bestie on this site. i am so happy we've gotten to share bad buddy, vice versa, and last twilight together! also happy to hear about your life at times and to just share silly things with you ♥
third one i want to mention is shannen @icouldhyperfixatehim who always manages to stand out in a positive way. we don't interact much but i cannot help but feel very giddy about their presence on my dash. they leave the best tags and every time they reblog any of my edits with their tags, they manage to make me feel like i've made it and my edit was worth the effort :'D so thank you!
20. tags?
want to tag at least @psychic-waffles @foxofninetales @hils79 @sherrymagic @srnileforme and @thitiponqs ♥ also the ones i mentioned before are free to join and anyone else who wants to do this!
#tag game#thank you a ton zey this was so much fun!!!#i hope you're doing well and having a good summer ♥
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So right at the end it gets potentially skeevy. This is some of the actual fic so my agonised and irritating complaining makes more sense. But this what I mean about so much blether. There are many many words like this:
diligently opens the email Lorena sends. There’s an account of the court case from six years ago when the government was banned from putting the deaged into hotels for monitoring.
“Could be worse!” She has texted with three exclamation marks. “I’m glad you two can talk about football, and you can look out for him!”
He has never wanted to play football less. He wants to stay quietly here. Get to know this willowly new version of the man he thought he knew well.
There are a list of the tests that were done. Nothing major, blood tests, virus screening. Nothing was ever found. DNA was taken and compared. There is no difference between the samples. Lorena has noted that this journalists daughter was put in one of the hotels. ‘She drove so much if this!’ Lorena has written with more exclamation marks. ‘She should be an OBE!’
The courts insist that everything should be destroyed. The lawyers within the NHS had argued people were allowed to offer DNA, but they couldn’t insist. Plenty of people want to they say.
He types “deaged hotels” Into the search bar. There are first hand accounts where people have to admit they don’t actually remember anything. The staff working there saying it was a lot of video games, napping, and junk food.
The Spanish government site says five days is the longest reported case, but it’s often less than 48 hours.
The people who ran the hotels said they got used to a confused or angry adult, waking up somewhere strange, wanting it be away from all these kids.
The youngest reported case was 12. But this was from China and has an asterisk. The oldest reported case was 19. Uganda say they have never had cases.
It mostly occurs to people in their twenties. Psychologists wonder if it’s people wanting to escape pressure.
A report from the Ministry of Youth affairs suggests archly that younger people are just more welling to admit when they deage.
There rest of their reporting is stastical are very few cases in their 30 or 40’s. None reported from anyone in their sixties.
Helen Mirren was nominated for an Oscar playing a family living with the affects of a deageing, you can watch the movie for free on BBC plus.
It is more common in men. Less common with people with children or a partner.
He only skims the guardian articles. Boris Johnson photographed with his mouth open cuts funding to the special services. Scuttlebutt says this is to hide that the hotels that housed them were usually owned by his mates.
Jerermy Clarkson pens a lengthy screed about kids that won’t face up to their responsibilities that he doesn’t read. Princess Anne nods severly next to a group of nurses in one of the now decommissioned hotels.
There is a rumour site where people collect reports of celebrities who may have deaged. There are several footballers and he quickly posts a picture on Instagram of him and Win and the caption “protocols met! but I’m not alone!”
The seventh link down is high lighted becuase he has visited it before: “de-aged hotel- secret camera revals twinks caught getting…”
He clicks onto his homepage and clears his browsers history.
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Tagged by @ongreenergrasses, thank you!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Way over 300! Tho it feels like it's been at 300sth so long by now, it'll be weird to look at once it hits 400 :D
Btw, funny how this tag meme asks for so much stuff that can be looked up by just... looking at my Ao3... without asking for any commentary by me? Lol
Anyhow, rest under the readmore bc this is 20 questions and Long!
Personal post - do not reblog
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
995596 - just a few more ficlets or 1 longer fic, and I've got a Million! Hey, maybe I should try to write one with... 4404? (I'd need to ask a calculator xD) words exactly... not rly a hardship with how many drabble exercises (exact wordcounts, 100 is the most used, I also do 200, 500, longest was 10000 exactly lol) I've already done... we'll see!
Over 400k for this year alone, and over half of that is my actual writing (not translations etc), I'm so proud! Last year I only barely hit 200k and that included a lot of translating work
3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Again, one could look this up in my works filtered - sorted by kudos? But all three of my incubus!jaskier witcher series are in it, part 2 of the series is highest with 1091 kudos, then a Venom halloween oneshot, and 'Belonging', a fluffy snake-crowley piece from my ineffable spouses series (yes, sth with under 1k words - 666 to be exact - is in the top 5... my poor longfics lol)
4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
...I try to? But atm I have 202 unanswered (and I always click 'mark read' on replies so these are all comments on my own fic) even tho I told myself I'd not let it get past 200, and now I'm doing a tag meme instead of replying to anything so ummmm
Edit: 203 unread now
But I do love love love all the comments I get! And while atm it's still semi-manageable, if it ever gets to the point where I really can't manage to reply to everyone cause it's too much, i'd rly take that as a compliment lol :D I'd still try to reply to the longer and/or more thought through comments tho :)
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
*thinks* I have an MCD fic? But not only is that very much a case of ~posting a draft version that's barely in complete sentences insgead of taking the time to turn it into a real longfic~, I also just killed off the mlm couple I only semi care about and left the wlw couple with a happy/hopeful (rly don't remember) ending, so... hm idk whether that counts for angsty ending
Apart from that... I dunno, I just prefer my babies to be happy and fluffy? *.* i remember a mirror milippa in the mirrorverse one where in the end Michael is worried about lying to Philippa about her identity... there are some angsty TOG and Gomens ones but I think they end happy-ish (my memory is. Bad. but looking through my 'angst' tag I just saw a lot of h/c and 'angst with a happy ending')
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
They're all happy???!?
7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Ahahahahahhahahaahaha
Check this out
I need you to know that all the works in that collection take part in the same universe (or rather, multiverse), and are alltogether just scratching the surface of my gigantic headcanon multiverse that I've been building in my mind since I was like 10
Actual crossovers other than that I don't remember writing
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Yeh but I only remember clicking 'delete comment', as it should be
Recently I've just gotten a bunch of 'you Need to continue this' and 'omg why isn't there more' or 'this shouldn't end' type comments, not hate, probably not meant maliciously, but So Annoying (maybe espesh bc I don't want to just hit delete on these, but I also don't want to pretend it's fine, but I also don't have the energy for a fight, and trying to explain why that behaviour is entitled and annoying and that I write what I want to write and nice comments should praise what I actually have written, and hoping that they understand and don't get mad is... hard.)
9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
Check out my rated E and rated M in my works
Mostly femslash lately, but I did also write other smut in the past
Most is a bit dominant/submissive play, but I do also like good fluffy smut with feelings! Best in combo, really :D
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not in the sense of pretending someone else wrote it (that i know of), but posted to other sites without my permission - writing 'don't repost to other sites' etc did Not help, they even copied those tags lol, so I just let it be, choosing my battles wisely etcetc, I'd prefer for my fic not to be cross-posted by others bc then I can't edit or otherwise influence the fic anymore and don't see everyone's reactions to it, but as long as it's not someone pretending they wrote it, I only semi care, not enough to fight it tbh
PSA: I Only post fics to Ao3 (and WIPs/prompt fills to tumblr&discord at times), if you see them somewhere else that's Not Me and you'd do me a favour by checking them out on ao3 and kudosing&commenting there instead :)
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yup, one to Russian a while back, a floreleine (Gunpowder Milkshake) one to Korean just today actually, and I translated a bunch to German myself
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I made a TOG fic together with @cinnamonplums, well mostly I wrote and she made the art :D
Trying to remember whether I ever actually co-wrote anything... don't think so?
13. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Don't make me choose!!!
Atm Milippa is OTP bc I'm busy writing them for @discoveryfemslashfortnight (this is not a post to reblog for the fortnight), but I'm also still rly into Floreleine, Bering&Wells and Andromaquynh and Andronilynh, and I read a lot of Mirandy lately
All-time favs I'm not rly active in atm but will always be dear to me are the ineffable spouses, clintcoulson, heistwives, gosh so many more I'll stop here tho xD
14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
A Heistwives Kinda Job immediately comes to mind
I also rly want to finish at least one cohesive original-ish storyline for the lverse that I already linked for the crossover question above, but I just have so much backstory (it's been over 10 years!!!) and it's... hard...
And everything else that's still WIP and untouched for more than a few months will probably have the same fate lol
Also have a few that haven't even seen the light of day at all, most recent a Mirandy ~what if Andy had been pregnant when Miranda hired her and how would it change the entire storyline~ bit - I wrote it in bulletpoints in one go as quickly as I could, I know I had the finished product in my mind, I don't remember anything now and don't feel like going through the bulletpoints painstakenly filling in the blanks
15. What are your writing strengths?
Writing one-shots quickly in one go
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
Forgetting everything about a fic if I leave it in a draft for a second too long
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
There are many ways to go about it, and I think they all work (depending on the fic and the length and relevance of the dialogue)
I tend to leave single sentences as is, and for longer and important sequences use cursive and 'they said in xylanguage'.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
The Hobbit apparently? I remember thinking that fic was so long lol, it's 3k
19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?
Kat/Ana from Reef Break, they have Such Shippable Chemistry, and it would totally fit Kat's player personality to bang both siblings (she's canonically friends with benefits with Ana's half-brother)... but the ship has one (1!) fic on Ao3 *cries*
20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
TOG Andromaquynh longfic In Your Stead has had the title since last year and probably for a while to come! I loved the story idea so much I really worked with several drafts and only! worked on that fic until it was finished so I wouldn't get distracted & forget about it, and the result was wonderful.
Tagging, if you want to do it, @sarah-fiers @purlturtle @cookie-sheet-toboggan @ussjellyfish @onaperduamedee @startrekgeorgiouery @rosalie-starfall @lonely-night @banashee @xvnot15 and everyone else who sees this
Questions to copy:
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? 6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? 7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? 8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? 9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? 10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 11. Have you ever had a fic translated? 12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 13. What’s your all time favorite ship? 14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? 15. What are your writing strengths? 16. What are your writing weaknesses? 17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? 19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? 20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
#tagging meme#tagged#mine#ongreenergrasses#ao3 tag#ao3 link#lilolilyrae#sept'21#personal#Personal 2021#28.09.21
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November Author of the Month...
Drumroll please.... our November Author of the Month is none other than the incredibly talented...
@all-things-fic !
Congratulations to a wonderful author, Liz! You can check out our interview with her below!
1.Did you start writing fanfiction for One Direction, or was there another fandom that you wrote fanfiction for before this?
I have one fic that I wrote for One Direction Fanfic Archive, that will never see the light of day. It was really awful, but everyone starts somewhere. I’ve shared it with two people on Tumblr and we just laughed about it.
I’ve also written a Niall Horan fic which has been flagged for how explicit it is, which is quite laughable as it’s tame in comparison to the Harry stuff (eek!)
2. How old were you when you started writing fanfiction?
I was a teenager when I first started writing fics. I don’t know if I would consider it “proper” fanfic though as it was riddled with cliches.
3. What’s been your favorite fic that you’ve written to work on so far?
For the longest time I was proud of the second part of Divorce Harry and specifically the second part. It just felt real to write. I can’t even explain what it is about that piece.
I think at the time it stemmed from an ask I received where I was asked if I was a parent - I’m not - but this someone said I portrayed aspects of a marriage and how children can tip the balance really well.
The sheer bitterness of two people in love and the juxtaposed feeling it brings was an interesting dynamic. Being bitter and in love? How? It happens. You love someone, but bloody hell don’t you hate at the same time.
And I think on the hand Quarantine Harry is the opposite side of the same coin. I love it because it’s so happy. When you’re smitten and basking. Your baby waking you up at 3am and meeting your husband on the landing with the freshly made bottle is a time to enjoy because you’re doing it together.
But soon enough the third child is sprawled out in your kingsize bed and their foot is pressed against your ribs and you're tired. This isn’t me saying the two stories are linked (I do get those theories quite a lot haha)
4. Do you prefer AU or OU?
Definitely more of an OU gal. I’m massively into writing things “realistically” because I think it’s so relatable and helps draw readers in more so. Especially if the writing uses and references visuals that readers are aware of.
5. What’s your favorite trope to write?
Would we call a long-term relationship / established relationship a trope? If so then this is my favourite. Writing characters who know how to push each other’s buttons, knowing what they can and can’t say to get the other going. Being able to write two people who can share as little as a glance and know what the other is feeling.
Sprinkle a bit of angst on the top for good measure.
That’s my kryptonite.
6. What’s your ideal space to write in?
I tend to write when I’m in bed quite a bit, usually really late at night and on my phone rather than my laptop. Often lying in the dark. Sometimes first thing in a morning.
7. How do you get motivation to write?
This one made me laugh considering I’m unable to finish a single piece of writing at the minute.
Pictures are quite inspiring. New images of Harry can usually start something in me. The images of him in the whacky joggers for example from set have inspired a scene in Quarantine Harry (who knows for which part just yet!).
8. Do you typically like to listen to music when you write? If so, what do you listen to?
Very rarely listen to anything when I write, I tend to like silence really. Sometimes this is so I can dictate into my phone.
9. Your dialogue is some of the best I’ve ever read on tumblr, how do you plan conversations in your fics?
Thank you for the compliment, it’s really nice to read that you think so highly of my dialogue. I don’t really plan them - conversations or my fics. I’m quite visual in how I write, so anything that you’ve read I’ve most likely had it play out in my mind and typed it as it’s moved. For dialogue I tend to speak out loud as I’m typing to try and get the pacing right for the conversation.
No, I don’t try to do a Manc accent… Just in case anyone is wondering haha!
10. What is your writing process like?
I write what I see and then hope it fits. Honestly it’s pretty chaotic. The only time I tend to plan is when I’ve got a lot of different scenes written and I need to know if they’re suitable for an update or what order to place them.
Then I read through them and think about the characters and how they would be a certain time and move the documents into another document. Then I close all the tabs and cry cause my motivation is nonexistent.
11. What’s been your favorite scene to write from Quarantine Harry?
One that hasn’t been shared haha! I’m joking (maybe).
From part one my favourite bit has to be the part where she makes up with him by taking him a cuppa and he gets a dig in about how she hasn’t brought any biscuits with her. Also the bit where he says “come an’ love me” meaning he wants to cuddle. I’m quite conscious I don’t really ever write soppy fics, so when I’m writing “fluffy” aspects they’re more so everyday affections. Like, you know someone is properly in love with you when they’re doing the washing up cause you’re busy, or they’re taking out the bins on bin day. That kinda thing.
From part two absolutely the entirety of the morning where she takes the pregnancy test. That was the part I had as clear as day and I worked backwards to the opening scene. I really loved the idea of Harry knowing his partner is pregnant before said partner knows. Him knowing his lovers body like the back of his hand so much so that he’s able to pick up on the smallest of things. I knew I had to write it.
And how he casually suggested she took the test, by pressing a kiss into her back. His face finding that test and then being an insufferable sod and pleased with himself cause he’s in the know about the outcome before the MC.
12. Is there a schedule you follow in terms of when you write? Or are you more impulsive and just write where and when you can?
So impulsive it’s actually embarrassing. I cringe at myself. I know I’ve mentioned this loads but I really write what I see. So if I’m not seeing anything, I’m not writing. It’s quite frustrating.
13. What is one thing you wish you would’ve known before you started writing?
To not talk about your writing before you’ve finished it. I feel like I massively let people down when I post sneak peeks and then I can’t deliver because life gets on top of me!
14. What do you prefer writing, multi-chaptered fics or one shots?
One shots and then if they develop into something more that can be exciting!
15. What's your secret to portraying such a complex and interesting relationship between your main characters??
Personal trauma…… *tumbleweed at another one of my poorly thought out jokes*
I’m a bit stumped on how to answer this one. I think being well read(ish) helps you create complex characters and relationships, not saying that I am but I’ve read a fair few books. Life in general helps too, sometimes personal relationships. Just growing up. My fic when I was younger was nowhere near the type of things I’m writing now but I’ve got a couple (okay, more than a couple!) of years on myself since then.
I think just apply your own lived experiences and call upon emotions you may have felt through certain times that you’re writing should you have experience it.
Partly I also think so many of us are a little bit nosy. Sometimes we all kinda want to be the fly on the wall in the home of couples to see if everything is a rosy as it seems or as intimate. Or whether it is just raw passion with a couple of arguments thrown in for good measure.
16. What Harry era/mood/look/vibe/song/etc. do you get most inspired by?
What’s weird is my favourite era of Harry is 2014, but I wouldn’t want to write him like that. The current Harry is quite marvellous. I’ve never known anyone like him, he really is fine wine (the real album title…. ‘we’ll be a fine wine’)
If you’re asking what mood I like to see him in, it’s either when he's pensive and looks a touch pissed off with a crease to his brow or when you watch his joke his eyes before he’s even said it and he’s amused/pleased with himself.
His current look, mainly late 2019/2020 is quite something (hence the quarantine fics)
I tend not to get inspired by his songs but my two faves if I had to pick would be Woman and TBSL. I think they’re massive Scorpio energy and would make great premises for a one shot sometime!
I’m not sure if I even answered this how you wanted it answer but hopefully it was something haha!
17. Who or what inspired you to start writing?
I’ve always loved writing, I think it’s because I do a lot of it with my line of work. The person that gave me the push on this site was actually an account called @meetyourmouths. The lovely Iz is no longer on tumblr but she wrote a Harry piece that just made me think ‘fuck it’ and I posted Practicing. If you go to that piece the authors note makes mention to Iz.
I would also say @stylishmuser was one of the first people to reach out to me and be encouraging which has always stuck with me. Massive love for, P and still talk to her all these years on.
I’m now sat here thinking about listing all the lovely lovely people who have been so nice to me both in regards to writing and outside of it and I’m conscious I’m not mentioning them. The troubles of being a bit of a people pleaser. Hopefully those people know I love ‘em… You know?
18. Some readers are wary of leaving feedback because they're unsure how the writer will take it, how do you personally like to receive feedback? Do you want to be critiqued, or would you like to just know if they did or didn't enjoy what they've read?
First thing I’d say is please don’t ever think as readers you can’t be negative. Sure there is a way to present the feedback to the author cause writing can be quite personal, but everyone has room for growth.
Just come chat to me. Can be about anything and everything. A simple ‘loved the update’ to ‘this bit was rubbish’. I’m open to all feedback.
One thing to remember is there are a lot of writers out there so there is something for everybody. If a fic isn’t for you there are tons out there waiting for you to go and grab ‘em!
19. Is writing a hobby or do you have aspirations of writing professionally outside of fanfiction?
I used to think it was mainly more so a hobby, and I do still lean towards this. However, now I’m not so sure. My problem is I tend to have long spells of not being able to find balance in my ‘real life’ job and the extra-curricular stuff.
I’m dragging myself here but I don’t think my fics have much plot to them. I’m more so about writing the everyday life and I don’t think there is a market for that really (unless you have something explosive happen somewhere).
20. And finally, What's your purpose for writing? What do you hope to accomplish?
For a while I wanted to write Harry being insufferably British. I found it quite hard to find writings that I thought wrote him using Britsh-isms (is this even a thing?) and types of phrases that are common over this side of the pond. I wanted to put that out there for someone who may have once felt like me.
Mostly, I just want to put pieces out that take people elsewhere, even if only for a couple of minutes. A lot of the world is a bleak place, if you find my little corner on tumblr and it makes you smile, that’s achieved something, hasn't it?
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34. Ivory
Previous Trigger Warnings for mentions of underage/revenge porn, mentions of eating disorder Word Count: 8388
Between Grace making that post of her rapping along to Captain Hook, her saying "aye aye" to Simon in comments, and this photo of Simon's D print in the gray sweatpants, I'm starting to think he's packing a curve 👀
Simon Laurent "liked"
Commenter: He is! Did you never see the old sex tape?
Poster: The WHAT? No… But, wait… I thought that they dated in school. You mean like something that happened after that?
Commenter: They were in school, but it was online for the longest time before she snitched, so I’m sure somebody still has it out there…
Poster: That’s gross. I’m not that desperate to see it that I wanna look at some kids doing it. No thank you.
Simon Laurent “liked”
Commenter is blocked by Simon.
.
Grace was in the grocery store with her mother and brother, and Zasha, a white samoyed puppy that Mrs. Monroe had purchased from a breeder… to potentially train to be in competitions, and Zasha’s handler. Why did Mrs. Monroe bring Zasha into the store, just to have someone else hold her? For the same reason that the nanny was also there, tending to Montanus. “Because, that is literally what I pay them to do.” But… we’re at the grocery store and didn’t even have to BRING them! Grace didn’t argue.
However, she did wonder if she was suffering from some type of weird mid life crisis, or just a rich, bored woman whose husband was working more and more all of the time, despite supposedly getting closer to retirement. Then, she wondered if they weren’t doing so well. But, she kept those wonders to herself, as it would frighten her to know whatever the truth was if it was anything other than her mother did whatever she wanted because she could afford to.
Plus, she wanted to get out of the house, and apparently that had been reduced to tagging along with Grace at the grocery store, in case she needed help. “You’re almost 6 months, correct? How has it been? Online, one would swear that you’re Diahanne Caroll in her prime. You’ve rarely broken a sweat. Is that for your fans?”
Grace shook her head and read the label of something before putting it into her cart, “I haven’t had any problems, except for eating way more than I used to and getting gas, but those calcium chews usually help with that and I bounce right back. You know, I’ve always taken really great care of myself, think things through and pay top dollar for the finest self care. I guess that the baby is pleased with their temporary temple.” She smiled at her mom and noticed the woman looked leery. “I know… you had a very rough pregnancy with me. Believe me, I remember this fact, but I haven’t been having that experience, personally. In fact… Did you know that I’ve gained THOUSANDS of new followers since they’ve seen that I was pregnant. Pregnant people have been asking me what I use for this and for that and I’ve been plugging my brand, since we’ve got the pregnancy line now. It’s been sensational. I’ve had a blast!”
Grace had been working on a blog about her pregnancy, which she began with a video addressing all of the questions to all of the people who were not her.
“Hey, Those That Are Graced!” She’d cheered into the camera, “Happy New Year! I know that I’ve been unavailable to reach out too, and believe me, I do miss interacting with fans and followers, but I am currently not working on my career, to focus on other things in my life. Just to touch base with everyone, I feel like we’ve had this discussion before and those of you who actually respect me would definitely not need it repeated, but there have been so many new faces of possibly unfamiliar followers that I am revisiting notes that I have in all of my bios…
First, my professional life is one thing, my private life is another. I extend myself professionally, and over the past few months, even though I have not actually been working, I’ve still been spending time providing everyone with content. Please do not send messages, comments, or questions for me to any of my friends, and especially not to my family members, Hazel in particular. She is 12 and shouldn’t have adults bothering her for information that not only isn’t her concern, but isn’t your concern. She wants to be able to enjoy the limited hours of screen time that she’s allowed. That becomes difficult for her when people are asking her hundreds of questions that literally are related to her mother’s sex life.
Second, my professional life is offered at my discretion, as well. Whenever there is product that I think you should try, I will announce it. If I’m not familiar with a product or no arrangements have been made for me to try a product or I’m unaware of a product… my comments is not the place for said product. That is including everything from your all natural care supplies, book recommendations, your demos, your dance videos… Like… I LOVE receiving those things, but whenever I open my comments back up, that is not where those things go.
I have links for email addresses for avenues of business, entertainment, etc on my website, and if nothing else, my website is featured on every form of social media that I have. I am the person who goes through those emails. I am NOT the person who checks my social media messages, so you will never get a response from me through those and run the risk of me not seeing something if you send it there instead.
Third, my spaces have boundaries and moderators to enforce those boundaries. Whenever you’ve been allowed to be a guest in any of my spaces or my child’s spaces, you treat that shit like Afropunk - “No sexism, no racism, no ableism, no homophobia, no fatphobia, no transphobia, no hatefulness.” And then, since I’m not Afropunk and I have even greater needs, and can’t believe I have to say this much else: No pedophilia, no inappropriate interactions with a minor, no incestuous ideation, and no nudity. My moderators are quick, but not perfect. Your fellow guests and neighbors in my spaces should never have to see jokes about my mother and I engaged in sexual acts together, or worse, my UNDERAGE daughter, and no - Hazel and I posting a dance video is not an invitation for someone to make comments that because she might be fluid in her movements that it is sexually suggestive and if ever we find one of those headass posts where you put a photo of my beautiful daughter up, say something obscene or rude or ask, “Thoughts?” Simon finds out your IP address, sometimes more than that and he doxxes your ass. Ask around. If threats of violence or suggestions of harm are given… he might show up at your house and I don’t know what to even tell you about that one, because I’m not at liberty to say, according to the lawyers.”
She smiled, relaxed, unclenched her teeth that she realized had been clenched since she began her greater needs.
“Fourth, leave Hazel alone. She isn’t going to add you, because she is not allowed to add adults that she does not know. If you follow her public figure pages, those are for her poetry, her brand, her rapping, her artwork, her theater program, and whatever announcements she wants to share with her fans about her personal life, which is usually vague and innocent. If Hazel posts that she had a great time at the premiere of some movie, that is not the place to ask her personal questions. The place to ask her personal questions is nowhere! We don’t have a space created for strangers to ask her personal questions. She sometimes will be allowed to grant an interview, in which she will answer a professional about appropriate questions that have been approved.
Fifth, shut up about Simon! Shut up about Simon! I swear to you… In the past few years that Simon and I have been in communication and the ones that we’ve been in close communication, I KNOW that you realize that we are communicating, but that falls under my private life, which I have not created a space in the public for.
Now… you may speak with Simon about whatever things he speaks about in his private life, I can’t control that, but what I can control and do control is what he will or won’t say about me, even in HIS space. Yes. I got it like that, and what will happen, is Simon will be seeing this, and he is very good at remembering details and he will memorize everything that I’ve said here and he will respect that and enforce it, even in HIS space.
Which leads me to my last thing… There’s a lot of Esmoroth fanfolk in my spaces now and you all act a certain way in your little Esmoroth corner of the Internet… but in here, in Grace’s space, you better act like you’ve been tossed to the feet of the Idol Princess when her pheromones are igniting the internal flame of servitude. Because, we stan the Idol Princess in this space, and you’d better act right.”
After the release of the 3rd book and return of the Idol Princess aka the Future Queen, several fans were disappointed and had called Simon out for “pandering.” But, several MORE fans came around. He was competing for top spots with the YA novel greats after the 3rd book. But… that also meant more fans to be in Grace’s business.
Her New Year’s announcement remained pinned at the top of her page and the next post was text, “Oh, yeah. Last but not least, you may have noticed that I’m pregnant. I’ll be featuring some of my favorite findings on my maternity journey here, so please stay tuned if you’re pregnant, expecting, or planning, for what I think and hope will be some helpful tips for your journey!”
Most of the Esmoroth fandom didn’t like her very much, but they also “just couldn’t stay away. Aside from the Grace in Maternity blog, she still didn’t have social media open for commentary, though she did sometimes pass through Simon’s or Hazel’s comments and engaged a little bit with them. She pinned the video to other sites and then just didn’t really visit them again much.
“I could barely walk whenever I was six months pregnant. I had the finest of everything, too,” Mrs. Monroe broke into her thoughts. “Then again, I had what they now call an eating disorder for several years. I… wasn’t completely… well whenever you were announced…” she looked guilty, like she did whenever she faced her own failures as a mother. “We had to get a 24 hour nurse to keep me… healthy. By seven months, I could hardly get out of bed.”
Grace furrowed her eyebrows, “Mom… you’ve never told me that you had an eating disorder. Did you ever get help for it?”
“Help? Oh… like… whenever I had to be rushed to the hospital multiple times? Yes. I got help.”
“MOM… Did you ever heal?”
“Wait, are you asking me if I have disordered eating now? Heaven’s no, Grace. I was trapped with your father by the time you were born. I eventually realized that I had to be more… alive and well than I did flawless. We hired a nutritionist and personal chef.”
“Mom… a lot of people need psychological help for something like that.”
“And I come across to you as ‘a lot of people’? Hmph. It’s pathetic enough that I allowed myself to be so weak. I wasn’t going to beg someone to give me the strength I needed.”
“That’s not what it’s like at all…” Grace cupped her mother’s face and said, “There may be things that people need to help you with, Mom. That doesn’t make you weak or whatever else you’ve convinced yourself of. It didn’t make me weak when I needed to get help. It doesn’t make Hazel weak when she needs help…”
Mrs. Monroe waved Grace’s hands off of her face, “As long as you’re fine, have no other concerns.”
“Mom…”
“Were you done with the shopping?” Grace sighed and continued moving.
.
Simon was pacing, clenching and unclenching his fists. Several of the message boards, every one of his social media platforms, and even at least one of Hazel’s. He’d taken her devices away, but now she was angry and he certainly couldn’t find the words to explain beyond, “You can’t be online right now.” She was scribbling aggressively in one of her paper journals, and fuming. They both were fuming from different but related reasons.
Grace came in with her little shopping entourage and Hazel rushed to her, furiously.
“Your BOY TOY took my devices DURING screen time and REFUSES to give them back!” Grace’s eyes went wide and she turned to look at Simon, who was pacing and didn’t even seem to hear the accusation, notice that she came in or to see Monty. Something was absolutely wrong here.
“Help get the groceries and I’ll get your devices, okay?” Grace said and cupped her chin. Hazel was still breathing heavily as she stormed out towards the groceries and Mrs. Monroe settled on the couch. Grace took Simon’s hand and he was startled by her sudden touch. But, the moment he realized it was her, he let out a deep breath and wrapped her up in a tight hug. “Hey. Let’s go talk, okay?” She suggested, rubbing his back. He nodded his head, but didn’t move from the spot or lessen his hold on. She squirmed a little bit and said politely, “Oxygen, Gray Eyes..” He let up and rushed out of the room. Grace followed and watched him flop on the bed and cover his face with his fists. “Whenever you’re ready.”
“We’ve been doing SO well…” He said, shaking his head.
“We have.” So, this is something that he did wrong? “And the only way that we continue doing well is to be open and caring with each other.” He slicked back the wild hairs that weren’t pulled into his ponytail. He appeared to be in a lot of pain, but she had to get whatever this was settled. “Should I go online? Will I see what happened, if I do?” She pulled out her phone, mumbling, “I’m guessing that’s why Hazel’s stuff was confiscate-” He snatched the phone from her hands and she let out a yelp, both at the audacity and the fact that she didn’t even see him get up.
“No. I have to tell you. You can’t find out on the Internet. SHE can’t get on. She CAN’T!”
“Why can’t she? Because, she’s pretty pissed and it IS her screen time…”
“Because, the internet is relentless and unkind, and she’s too young to have to deal with how much. Not today. She’ll… I’ll… give her extra time once it's died down.”
“Tell me what’s going on, Simon.”
He frowned, “Someone brought the tape up.” At first, she was confused. Was this something about the movie? Why would he be so upset as to take Hazel’s… “And it’s recirculating again. I’ve been reporting it and fans have been reporting it and it gets taken down, but more and more people have seen it now and it’s just… too much. I don’t want her to run into it…” NOW, she understood. That tape… which… technically… it was done with a webcam, so it was never a tape, it was a recording, but… “I saw it again… not watched it, but you know, saw a portion of it whenever I was reporting it… God…” He sat down on the bed, “You’re a kid, Grace. You had the rounded face and everything…”
“Ummm… You’re a month and a day older than me, Dude.” she said, sitting down, trying to pretend that she was more calm than her heart was allowing. She could barely breathe, thinking about the feelings that just mentioning that used to bring up for her. She wasn’t sure how she might react to seeing it come up somewhere. But, maybe she should try…
She gently took her phone back, despite his struggling. One stern look and he let it go, realizing that she was determined and he was probably already in a lot of trouble, if something had been triggered. She nodded, “Yep, looks like a few people have tagged me, asking me if I saw that somebody posted it…” She went to the video and he clenched the bedspread, moving his legs uncontrollably and looking straight ahead. “You know, a lot of people used to say that you couldn’t see your face in it, that it was out of frame, but it does come into frame a few times…” she said. She paused, “See?” He shook his head. “Simon, you’re not even gonna indulge me a little bit at a time like this?”
His frown deepened and he took another long breath. She was right. SHE was the victim in this. The least he could do was take a look at his disgusting handiwork. He saw himself and he recoiled. “You were a kid, too,” she said. “Sure, at the time, this hurt more than anything my brain can recall. But… I do know, as a grown ass woman, you were wrong and also were a child. Both of those things can be accurate.”
“We’re only a few years older than Hazel, there. If some kid did something like this to her… I would…”
“I would hope that you’d remember that you were their age once and just as bad.”
“Is… is that how you would react?”
“Oh, hell no. I’ve never done anything like this. I’d kill that fucking kid. But, you would have to be the adult that fucking pulls me off of him…” She laughed and scratched at his beard, “But, nothing like this will happen to Hazel. She’s a good judge of character and we know all of her friends.”
“Your parents knew me too, and I think that they’re pretty good judges of character. Your mom at least. She always knew that I was rotten.”
“No she didn’t! She knew that you weren’t rich, and in her head those two things were the same thing. She knew that you were controlling, and she thought that I was going to sacrifice myself for you, but she didn’t think that you were going to straight up try to assassinate my entire character.” He looked away from her, “And NOW, you are very diligent in making sure that you aren’t crossing any lines, with me and with Hazel, my mother, my father, and I think people in general. This wasn’t long enough ago that it’s not hurtful to think about… but it was long enough ago to not beat yourself up over. But… It is a burden that you designed. So, it’s only right that you explain to Hazel exactly why she shouldn’t be online right now.”
Hazel took it so much better than she had taken him taking away her computer and phone. “Are you serious? I’ll just avoid social media. You KNOW I don’t wanna see anything like that, myself, but I already knew that it existed out there somewhere.” She shook her head, “I don’t like the way you look with clothes ON, think I’d run the risk of seeing you without them?”
Grace suggested, “Is there anything else you want to say to him? Maybe about how you broke the news to me when I got home?”
“Oh..” Hazel flared her nostrils and rolled her eyes, “Sorry I called you Mom’s Boy Toy… You kinda are, but I shouldn’t say it…”
Simon laughed, mostly because he was relieved that she wasn’t scarred by him having to talk to her about this video resurfacing. “You kidding? I’m gonna put that on a t-shirt.”
“No cap? Because I have SO many where that came from.”
“We’ve gotta brainstorm.”
“Simpsona T-shirts can be your new thing…” And just like that, Grace watched them be best friends again. Hazel could get mad and stay mad for a long time, but she didn’t like to argue, so even whenever she got mad, she tended to stay to herself until she wasn’t. The two of them left to go sit on the swing set outside of the house they were renting, and Grace sat by her mom on the couch.
“I don’t even want to know what that was about.”
“Cool, because I wasn’t gonna tell you.”
“You don’t have to. One of your “boy toy’s” fans will.” Grace laughed and then threw her head onto her mom’s shoulder. The woman gasped at first, taken aback by the show of affection, but then placed her hand on Grace’s. “You’re a very good mother to both of them. You’ll be a good one to that one too.” she pointed her free hand at Grace’s belly.
“Did you just…?”
“Come on, you’ve been raising yourself a man since you met him and I’ll stand by that forever. Might get it engraved on my headstone.”
Grace cackled, “I absolutely AM NOT raising him!”
“He is literally a life sized puppy that went through a rebellious phase where he kept biting you!”
“Well, I finally realized that I have the power to curve that behavior… and trust me, Mom… It’s not something you’d do with somebody you’re raising.” Grace stuck her tongue out.
“Get off of me you scoundrel!” Her mother joked. Grace just laughed and held on tighter. The woman put her arm around her. “Are you okay, Darling?”
“Whenever I was hurt or scared as a little girl, I was more afraid of admitting it to you and Daddy. I would be more hurt by the thoughts of how little you would think of me if I openly showed imperfection. Not feeling that way took a long time and a lot of work. So, now, if I have a hard day, I’m not too proud to lay on my mommy and say so.” She looked to gauge her mother’s reaction. She was always speechless whenever Grace got emotional.
She’d never learn past those suppressing ways and it amazed Grace that her mother didn’t realize how much her and Simon were alike in that way. Simon had to work really hard at it and her mother was too proud and pampered to put in such effort. But, whenever Grace booped her nose, the woman’s eyes flickered amusement, ever so slightly. Now, she pushed Grace off of herself and opened her arms to receive Montanus. “Take a photograph of me with my children,” She told the nanny. “One with the two human ones, then we’ll add the new fur baby…”
.
She still hadn’t made any announcements about her status with Simon, nor had she spoken about her pregnancy outside of the maternity blog by the time Valentines’ Day rolled around. But, one thing that she did was allow for Simon to share maternity photos. That was her “gift” to him.
There. Were. Tons.
Simon took photos of everything. He had a copy of every ultrasound. He had an electronic journal of every detail that came up. So, whenever he posted the album “Countdown to Ivory’s Arrival,” he had more photos than most of the fans were probably going to look through. Therefore, he left many of them private, with only close friends able to view, and the ones that were public were his favorites of the candids of Grace being pregnant and gorgeous, some of the ones from photoshoots that she would post, and the professional maternity photos that they had taken so far. They took some each trimester, as a family.
The ones at her three month mark were taken in New York, early November (around their anniversary, whenever he was in town. They had fall colors and all three of them were absolutely stunning. Hazel was impressed with how well that Simon cleaned up, so much that whenever he showed her older photos of himself, she thought he was a different person. She had no idea how right about that she was. Simon being both subservient and also a mega diva himself was absolutely salivating every time Grace did something, but also, it was him who insisted, "We have to have a photoshoot each trimester, each with a different theme.” She agreed on the trimesters, but wasn’t feeling the theme part so much. She told him that they could simply have the season be the theme.
They had three changes of outfits for each set. Grace had a gown made much like the one that she had worn to the fall festival in 9th grade (the one that the Idol Princess’ gown was very heavily based on, the one that Simon had taken photos of her in, getting her first beauty deal underway), one that Simon saw her in and immediately began crying. “You’re… gonna ruin the photos,” Hazel told him.
There were candid ones of him crying. Her favorite was one where he was crying, Grace was trying to comfort him and Hazel dropped in front of them, bombing it with a prison pose and her tongue out. She had on a yellow pantsuit with fall leaves in her hair, her signature look being wearing leaves in her hair. Simon’s yellow suit was similar to hers, but way more expensive and the red accents, instead of the orange ones that Hazel elected.
The orange outfits were Hazel in orange overalls, Grace in a romper and Simon in a jumpsuit that Hazel insisted was “the most expensive prison wear in the world.” The red ones were regal matching dress attire, Grace in a two piece dress to show off her belly, Hazel in the same floor length evening gown, but one piece, and Simon in a red suit, made of the same material. Hazel’s hair was down and flowing. Grace’s was gathered up, with most of her afro pulled forward, cascading out of the jeweled red head dress she wore, and Simon’s usually (these days) flowing hair was pulled into a ponytail, with the undercut showing. He was generally self conscious about it, but Hazel put little red jewels over his scar, so even though he was still anxious about his hair, he was proud of her accessorizing enough that he wanted to confidently show it off.
The six month ones were taken in January, and done in all white, which Hazel said, “Looks fabulous on mom and me, but you look like the abominable snowman,” to Simon, on the day of. They were in California by that time, but took a little trip to the mountains because the Monroes had property there that Simon remembered had beautiful scenery that he wanted to have family photos at.
They did all white shots and winter blues.
Whenever Simon posted them on Valentines’ Day, Hazel joked in the comments, “I still say that we need to crop your face out.”
People loved the maternity photos, noticed that Grace did NOT have any on her page and she didn’t comment or react to any on Simon’s page. (Yes, these people pay entirely too much attention to the lives of celebrities that they didn’t even KNOW), but someone did some investigating and found Grace’s pregnancy blog. So… even though that was mostly a completely different following, others stormed into the space, thinking that FINALLY, some place where Grace has actually been interacting and will interact with us. She literally ignored anybody that wasn’t asking about helpful tips for their own pregnancy or giving her helpful tips and the title changed from, “Grace in Maternity” to “Y’all Can See This is a Mommy Blog, Right?”
A few people were seething, but funny enough, Grace’s faithful mommy following were more along the lines of, “Wait… You’re FAMOUS, Monroe Mommy???” After that, she had a hoard of moms check out her other life. She enjoyed having more of them in her fan base, though she also had a lot of ones who had always known being like, “Y’all seriously didn’t know Grace Monroe?” and her favorite quote ever on that blog, “Hell, her album is the reason I AM pregnant!!!”
Meanwhile, Simon had been less likely to play around with any of the fans ever since the video thing. He’d made that very clear, and then sort of stopped interacting with them. He didn’t even go through to like people’s comments anymore. Some of them would say things like, “Whoever resurfaced that video, if we find you, it's on sight for making Simon hate speaking with us!”
Sometimes a person would “Lol” and contend, “He’s too busy working on the Esmoroth movie. He’s not here because of the movie not some fuzzy sex tape from years ago.”
Those were the only ones that he’d respond to just to say, “No, they’re right,” and nothing else.
He wasn’t as busy on the Esmoroth movie as he intended to be. He was working on more tech and models for the movie than any other movie things. For one thing, the script was being adapted, and casting was hard. The casting director wanted to get a different type for the Idol Princess, but Simon was extremely firm and clear that the Idol Princess HAD to look exactly as described in the book. “There are parts of the story that are directly related to her looking the way that she does.”
“We can adjust those parts,” the director had said, hoping to appease him.
“The Idol Princess looks like my childhood best friend. Her look is non negotiable,” he had told them. They didn’t believe in non negotiable, apparently, because the girls that were being considered were all much too light. Whenever Simon had rejected them all, they informed him of those girls’ filmographies and their agents and other people said agents represented.. “Maybe they have that type of record because people are hiring them for roles that were meant to be for someone else. Just… give me all of the call sheets for girl characters who auditioned.”
He went through and disqualified half on looks alone (not to say that they weren’t pretty children or whatever, but they didn’t look like the Idol Princess). Whenever he had the stack of dark skin girls, he went through, checking their filmographies and auditions.
He asked Hazel for her opinion and she suggested a name that he recognized from his rejected stack. He pulled it back up and looked at the light skinned girl in the photo, "Do you mean this girl, Hazel?" He wondered.
"Yes! She's a really good actress!"
He furrowed his eyebrows and pointed out, "But she doesn't look like the Idol Princess. The Idol Princess has dark brown skin, tightly coiled hair, full nose and lips, and dark brown eyes. This girl has none of those things."
Hazel shrugged her shoulders, "She's really good though."
"Well… maybe some of these other girls are really good and people just don't want to see them in stuff like this."
Hazel frowned and she asked, "Are you accusing me of favoring her because she's got features like mine?"
"No. I'm just saying that she doesn't look the part. You're usually really good about that kind of thing, Haze."
"Well… I don't know anybody in the age range that looks like the description of the Idol Princess." She folded her arms, "But like you said, maybe that's because people take the easy way out and just get the pretty Black girl that they know of to play a part instead of being true to characters. I've definitely read more books with dark skinned girls than I've seen in movies…"
"Here are some of my choices," he said and spread the sheets out before her. "I think this one has the look, but I think this one had a better audition. BUT, she was auditioning for a background character and this one was auditioning for the Wicked Heiress. Maybe she just didn't have that role in her and should audition for the Idol Princess, so we can know for sure.."
"I think that maybe they should all audition for the Idol Princess again. What if they just didn't believe it would be realistic that they'd get offered a job like this, especially if bigger stars are being considered? Sometimes, I have to talk kids into auditioning for our productions because they're worried that the same actors will win out anyway."
He gave her a side smile, "I think you're onto something, Haze."
.
Hazel sent out the invites for Grace’s baby shower. Unfortunately, all of Grace’s friends lived elsewhere, so it would be an expensive trip. Fortunately, they had money, so the Monroes could foot the bill for everyone who didn’t just have the means to travel across country for an event.
Meta flew in with Damita from New York the previous week, but he made some business plans to collab with a Cali artist that week, so he was working, as well. Meanwhile, Damita and Grace were spending the week reconnecting and chilling. Shana and Iza came in from Atlanta the night before. Gharrisahn was already in LA for work, so she would swing by the day of. Grace’s parents arranged for Mikayla and Tulip to come down. They were in coach on the same flight that Lucy’s and Lindsay’s moms and they were in first class, so they’d all meet the driver upon landing.
Hazel had on a headset, along with Simon’s assistant and Grace’s assistant, because Hazel had arranged the shower and she wanted to make sure that things went how she meant for them to.
Grace was in a custom made gown that was inspired by Book 3 of Esmoroth and Simon had been at her side simply staring at her for the entire time she had it on. It had been a surprise. A very nice one that he apparently loved. She hired the costume designer for the movie to make her several pieces, but this one was like the one that the Idol Princess resurrects in. Grace was now hip to the lore enough, mainly from paying attention to Hazel’s ravings, and her and Simon’s movie chat.
For the most part, Grace didn’t want to have a shower. All of her friends lived elsewhere, the baby was due sort of close to Hazel’s birthday and she still wanted Hazel to be able to have a party - which she doubted would be able to happen if she waited until after they were born, so she wanted to have Hazel’s birthday party, INSTEAD of a shower and Hazel said, “How about you just worry about slaying everybody in your peak perfection pregnancy, and I’ll take care of the shower?”
With the financial backing of GlamMother, her dad’s big brain, and her own penchant for moments and aesthetics, Hazel tended to be very good at making things come together. She even produced some choreography (Doereography, as she called her pieces), for her and her mother to perform, because, yes, Grace was good and swollen by May, but she also could still do mostly everything that she was doing before with that additional bundle. It did throw her balance off a little and she couldn’t lift Hazel at the moment, but she kept up with every step of the Irish step dancing that Hazel put into the choreo, and she absolutely could still nail every Haitian movement. Hazel wanted to make a birthday choreo with ties to her heritage, and Grace was always very supportive of her doing anything that made her feel connected to her identity.
For good measure, Hazel looked up cultures from Grace and Simon’s heritages too. She was most accustomed to American jazz/hip hop and ballet. She started at 6, with Grace and when they were apart, Grace used to make instructional videos and post them just for Hazel. Whenever she was 10, she started to tap, and all of the other things in between, she and Grace perfected, and whenever she really wanted to nail something, they’d call in a world class trainer.
Hazel felt that a world class trainer was needed for the baby shower. Grace very much so disagreed. So, Hazel got her grandmother to get them. “Next time, simply come to me first,” the woman had said.
Hazel opened up with one of her raps. Her mom’s friends (as always) got their entire lives whenever she would flow - which was possibly the reason that she honed her talent, if she thought about it - and even Simon would be into the groove with things. He didn’t have the best rhythm, but he certainly always looked way taken up with her talent. Grace bouncing around with a round belly was everything in the world to Hazel, and when she was done, she waddled over to hug her.
They played games, did some traditional shower things and some new things too, that Hazel consulted with celebrity event planners for. When it was time for gifts, Grace froze, looking at the way that everything flowed. It was like her 16th birthday again and she felt like she might have a panic attack. “Grace… It’s okay,” Simon said. She looked at him on the other side of the tete a tete and he smiled, “I learned my lesson. This is straight up simply tribute.” He kissed her on the forehead and she calmed down to receive gifts and cry about everything, but manage to not look ugly doing so, because no matter how comfortable she had gotten over the years, that was still engrained in her as a huge no-no.
Winding down from the party, she found Hazel and her friends at the photo booth, having switched out their baby shower outfits for their birthday party outfits. “Where’s Simon?”
“Bullying people about their gifts,” Hazel said nonchalantly.
“Oh God…” Grace raced over and smiled, “Hey… what’s uh… what’s going on?”
Mrs. Monroe stood behind Simon with her arms folded and Mr. Laurent was in front of them. Simon answered, “Well, I’m giving people things back that went against the specifications for the list.”
“I don’t remember making specifications for the list.”
“You wouldn’t, because you didn’t, I did. You aren’t particularly great at meticulous things and you don’t pay attention whenever I’m telling you plans like these,” Simon said.
“We’re not gonna send a gift back with the person who gave it to us.”
“What are we gonna do, donate it to charity? Because I am not putting this together for our baby. This company uses…”
“Thank you, Mr. Laurent. Thank you for coming and thank you for this gift.” She gave the man a pat on the hand and smiled at Simon. He was still frowning, along with her mother. “You’re backing him up, now?” She got flashbacks of whenever they used to gang up on her and she was very salty that she had to defend MR. LAURENT of all people against the devastating team and Simon and her mother could be.
“He specifically said nothing from that company ON THE LIST,” her mom said, beginning a tirade against this man, with her and Simon taking turns on letting him know exactly how he’d fucked up.
“Their product is cheap and substandard.”
“They’ve decimated the supply of the people in the area they harness things from TO make cheap product.”
“And they use slave labor!”
“Child slaves.”
“OKAY! Okay… That’s a good company to boycott. But hear me out… Mr. Laurent is a simple man who shops at like three places and definitely doesn’t look up things like that,” Grace said.
To which Simon and Mrs. Monroe both reminded her, (loudly) “It was on the list!”
“I made it clear which companies we weren’t accepting gifts from!”
“It’s already bought.” Simon was going to continue complaining, but Grace took his hands and placed them on her belly and he immediately softened up and stared at it. “This is the most important thing, right?”
He looked up at her and cupped her face, shifting himself to touch foreheads with her. Hazel appeared out of nowhere to bomb the photo that they weren’t even expecting Lucy to take.
.
“Wait, that was it?” Grace wondered. Let’s be clear… she did go through a lot of pain and it was a tough time in the birthing house, even with Simon right beside her and Hazel, her mother and her best friend nearby. But… it felt like there should be something else happening or that something was missing, that she had neglected something, or like something didn’t happen that was supposed to.
She supposed that she had simply set her expectations so deeply into the thought of pain, struggle, blood, sweat and tears, that when it came… her imagination had actually run wild. Simon had kept telling her she was doing well and how he was proud of her and other affirmations. He was holding the baby now while she was being cleaned up.
“Did everything happen?” Grace asked.
Hazel went over the checklist with her. Yes. Everything happened. “Did I pass out?” No. She was awake. She was there for every grueling minute. It just was a different experience for her than what her mother described, than what she read and interpreted.
The professionals explained to her how her birthing went relatively well, what to do next, etc. Charlotte, from the center, even talked to her about how it’s not only different for everyone, but how all four of her own pregnancies and births were different from the last. Grace was expecting something terrible to happen within the first few days, just because it didn’t seem like everything had happened! The paranoia died down on day 3 and she simply was back to cuddling with her new baby.
They looked like her, so far. Hazel made them a stuffie of a potato in a diaper… the baby just looked like a potato. She didn’t know how else to express that. Simon worshipped them. He was constantly holding them whenever Grace wasn’t. He was close by whenever she fed them. He took so many photos on his phone that within days, he surpassed all of the ones he had of Monty from the past several months.
NONE of those were going online any time soon. Grace had only posted a few days after giving birth her experience with having done so. She bounced back so quickly and looked so effortlessly beautiful that some people were claiming that she had been trolling and was never actually pregnant. She found that funny, but it also was her cue to duck away from the Internet for a while again.
The first month of Ivory’s life, they were for the most part a quiet baby. Simon frequently worried that something was wrong, checking, rechecking, then coming back and checking again that they were breathing, awake, happy, etc. Grace was more like, “You’re so gross. Look at you! Drooling all over everything. Little slobbery monster!” She spoke in a high pitched voice that made Ivory smile and kick their little legs around.
“GRACE! Don’t say that!” Simon insisted. “You’re gonna make them feel bad.”
“No way! Ivory’s a tough little cookie, like their Mama. I gonna bite you, Cookie! Mama gonna bite you!” Then she playfully nibbled at their feet and hands.
Simon studied the baby for a while and determined, “They seem to be enjoying it.” He would then relax a little.
Hazel was the only person allowed to post photos of Ivory, and comments were always closed. The first one was on Hazel’s birthday. She was in a sundress, tanned a little more than usual and Ivory and she had on matching rompers and sunhats. “Ivory came 13 days before my 13th year. They really said, “I’ma be 13 too, Sis.” Look at them. Tiny. Tiny Potato. Sis has your back for life. #taurustribe #jk #idcboutthat #MonroeSibs #Doetography #HouseLaurent
And there it was. All that anyone needed to see. You honestly couldn’t tell what the baby looked like, but how could anybody doubt Hazel’s hashtag “House Laurent?”
Simon sort of liked having a private family. He wasn’t sure why he had been so eager to have people acknowledge things before. Even one year ago, he needed for somebody, anybody to know that he slept in the same bed with Grace Monroe. He needed for her to say “I love you.” He needed to hear Hazel call him “dad.” He still loved those things, but he had everything he could have ever wanted… it just looked different than he thought it would.
Why did he want to “take care of” Grace for so long? She was caoable of taking care of herself, probably better than he was of himself. She had talents (was ALREADY back to working on new dances with Hazel and new music), qualities… God… that smile made him weak… She had several other things too, but if he sat there making a list, he’d be there for a while, and he COULDN’T be there for a while, because Ivory was six weeks old and Grace told him that he could take them with him to work.
He began strapping the baby into the stroller… “Are you… where are you trying to take my baby?” Grace asked.
“My calendar says that they’re six weeks old. I can take them to work with me.”
Grace put her hands on her hips and Simon frowned. “You said it. I have a recording of you saying it.”
“Well, I said that we shouldn’t take them anywhere before six weeks…”
“And I set my calendar,” Simon completed the thought and pulled the diaper bag onto his shoulder. “Abigail is bringing Monty, so they’ll have a play date.”
“Oh, she is?” Grace asked, toweling herself down. “Hold on. I’m coming.”
“Grace, I’m gonna be late!”
“I’m not letting you go be a Daddy sized snack with TWO cute babies on you with a cute, perfect bodied nanny with no friends!”
“I don’t think she’s all that cute and I have no idea what her body looks like!”
“It doesn’t look like she pushed a baby out of it six weeks ago!”
“NEITHER DOES YOURS!”
She came into the room, changed up and smiling, “Awww. That’s so sweet.”
“How did you?” She looked perfect. She looked perfect and she couldn’t have taken any longer than five minutes. And she thought she had anything to worry about? But, he wasn’t complaining. If he had Grace and the baby around, that was just better, all around.
“I’m staying here,” Hazel told them and continued dancing in the mirror.
Grace was standing on the scooter, with Simon behind her, sporadically kissing her on the neck every now and then, making her smile and gush. Whenever they pulled into the studio Simon took the baby out, which Grace noticed was wearing an oversized heather gray, “Proof he got lucky with Grace Monroe” onesie. “Simon! What did you…?” She gasped and saw that he had a shirt, the same color that read, “I got lucky with Grace Monroe.”
“In my defense, you weren’t supposed to be here today!” Simon told her.
“How many shirts and onesie sets did you buy?”
“Not a lot. I bought WAY MORE t-shirts than I did onesies.” She fell behind a little and the back of that man’s shirt said “Grace’s Babydaddy.”
“Simon…”
“In my defense… You were right there whenever I walked out of the house wearing it.” She laughed. “It’s just in the studio. I’m working on some mechanics. There’s not gonna be cameras on me or anything.” She was still pouting. “I know that you’re super secretive, but I’m sure that most of the people who give a damn about what we do already know that this is indeed my baby…”
“It’s not that.”
“Well, what is it?”
“Ugh. I wanted to do this whole reveal thing for you on Sunday! I was gonna make this long, sweet post and open my comments and EVERYTHING. Now, I feel like it won’t have the same effect…” His eyes were already all watery, just from her THINKING about doing so.
“Sunday is Father’s Day…”
“Yeah. I can keep my own secrets. Not tell people about my pregnancy or who I bone or how I share time with my daughter or whatever, but I didn’t plan on making you stay in the shadows of my spotlight for the rest of our lives, especially when it comes to this. You’ve been an immense pain in the ass, but you’re a wonderful father and I figured it’d be a good… coming out of sorts for me to acknowledge that on that day.”
He cradled Ivory closely, “You can still do that.”
“Well, you’ve announced it all over your clothes and also… I just told you the entire plan!”
“I love knowing plans!” Simon said. “Here.” He took off the shirt and threw on his hoodie, which it was too hot for and then they changed the baby’s onesie too. “I sort of want to eat it up whenever people actually find out from you that I am indeed, who you bone.” She laughed. “This is the best spoiled surprise that I’ve ever had!”
“Well… I didn’t tell you ALL my plans, so there’s still stuff to look forward to.”
“Yeah?” He asked, casually as they walked inside.
“Mmm hmm.”
“Can I have a hint?”
“Something that starts with the letter P.” Simon turned red and she smiled brightly.
“Uh. Didn’t put THAT on your calendar, did you?”
His lip dropped, “I DIDN'T!” He frowned, “In my defense… we don’t really do that enough for it to have been something I was counting down to.” He smirked, “But every time we do…” He raised his eyebrows and smiled at her. She bit her lip and shook her head, “Nope. Sunday. You aren’t gonna beard break me, Mr. Laurent.”
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#If They Didn't Get on the Train#AU Infinity Train#Infinity Train#Nesha Fanfiction#Infinity Train Fanfiction#fics
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All of them? :$
I can’t sleep. Why not
1: How tall or short do you wish you were? The height I am now
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) Hmm...Gizmo
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Anything comfortable really
4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Sonic
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: My partner, my future, and what it all holds
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Very quiet, slow to anger but proceed with caution
7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? 🤷🏻♀️
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] uhh when I took this test in high school, I was melancholic
9: Are you ticklish? Yes
10: Are you allergic to anything? Loads
11: What’s your sexuality? Bisexual
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Cocoa
13: Are you a cat or dog person? Cat
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Hmm vampire
15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? I did
16: How tall are you? 5’2”
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I like mine
18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] too much for me to be comfortable
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? Yes
20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Uhh I like both equally
21: Are you religious? Kind of
22: Pet peeves? When people touch my stuff without asking. Bad breath
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Nocturnal
24: Favorite constellation? Not sure
25: Favorite star? Not sure
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? No?
27: Any phobias or fears? Not saying
28: Do you think global warming is real? Yes
29: Do you believe in reincarnation? Not really
30: Favorite movie? Forrest Gump
31: Do you get scared easily? No lol
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? 5?
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] what?
34: What is a color that calms you? Blue
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Australia, London
36: Where were you born? LA
37: What is your eye color? Brown
38: Introvert or extrovert? Intro
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? No lol
40: Hugs or kisses? Kisses
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? Cody
42: Who is someone you love deeply? Cody
43: Any piercings you want? Second ear piercings
44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? Yes
45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? Before
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! He’s pretty great. Been with them for almost 4 years :)
47: What is a sound you really hate? A certain person’s voice
48: A sound you really love? The ocean
49: Can you do a backflip? Not anymore
50: Can you do the splits? If I stretch, yes
51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Natalie Dorner and Ed skrein atm
52: Favorite movie? I already answers this
53: How are you feeling right now? Tired
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? Half white half Black
55: When did you feel happiest? I think it’s been a while
56: Something that calms you down? Writing or drawing
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] nothing diagnosed
58: What does your URL mean? My world is odd
59: What three words describe you the most? Quiet, contemplative weird
60: Do you believe in evolution? Yes
61: What makes you unfollow a blog? Posting things I don’t like
62: What makes you follow a blog? Posting things I like
63: Favorite kind of person: a genuinely nice person that is honest
64: Favorite animal(s): pandas, otters
65: Name three of your favorite blogs. 🤷🏻♀️
66: Favorite emoticon: 😻
67: Favorite meme: I have too many
68: What is your MBTI personality type? I can’t remember
69: What is your star sign? Uhhh Pisces...?
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? Yes
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? A black shirt and jeans with converse
72: Post a selfie or two? No thank you
73: Do you have platform shoes? I do!
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I can bend my thumb all the way to my arm
75: Can you do a front flip? Not anymore
76: Do you like birds? Sure
77: Do you like to swim? Love it
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Swimming for sure
79: Something you wish didn’t exist: not saying
80: Some thing you wish did exist: someone that is no longer here
81: Piercings you have? Just my ears for now
82: Something you really enjoy doing: reading
83: Favorite person to talk to: Cody
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? I like this site
85: How many followers do you have? Uhh I haven’t looked in a while
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? I use. To lol
87: Do your socks always match? Yes
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? Yes
89: What are your birthstones? Aquamarine
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Panda or a cat
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? A rose
92: A store you hate? Hmmm not sure
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? I don’t
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Read minds
95: Do you like to wear camo? On occasion
96: Winter or summer? Winter
97: How long can you hold your breath for? About 30-45 seconds
98: Least favorite person? HAHA
99: Someone you look up to: my dad
100: A store you love? Any bookstore lol
101: Favorite type of shoes. Converse
102: Where do you live? In LA
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nope
104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? I don’t have one?
105: Do you drink milk? Yes
106: Do you like bugs? No
107: Do you like spiders? Yes
108: Something you get paranoid about? The future
109: Can you draw: kind of
110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? How sex was with a person I slept with or how I could stand sleeping next to ex because he snores really loudly. Like freight train loud
111: A question you hate being asked? Who’s the smarter or prettier twin. I usually get that I’m smarter
112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Yes
113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? I do
114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Cloudy
115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: codes
116: Favorite cloud type: what
117: What color do you wish the sky was? Purple
118: Do you have freckles? No
119: Favorite thing about a person: clean hands
120: Fruits or vegetables? Fruits
121: Something you want to do right now: see someone
122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Ocean
123: Sweet or sour foods? Sour
124: Bright or dim lights? Bright
125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? Sure
126: Something you hate about Tumblr: 🤷🏻♀️
127: Something you love about Tumblr: 🤷🏻♀️
128: What do you think about the least? Work
129: What would you want written on your tombstone? 🤷🏻♀️
130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? HA
131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? My mind
132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? Yes
133: Computer or TV? Computer
134: Do you like roller coasters? Yes
135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? It depends
136: Are your ears lobed or attached? Attached
137: Do you believe in karma? Sure
138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? Like an 8 on a good day
139: What nicknames do you have/have had? Quite a few
140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? Yes
141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? Yes
142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Good
143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Both
144: What makes you angry. A lot
145: How many languages do you speak fluently? One
146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? I’m bi soooo
147: Are you androgynous? No
148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: my butt lol
149: Favorite thing about your personality: my ability to see the good in everyone even when they’re shitty. Also my least favorite thing about myself
150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. Well my dad, Cody, my grandma
151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? The one rn because I am a minority
152: Do you like BuzzFeed? Sure
153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] uhh dating app. Technically a football game.
154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? No
155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? Just codys
156: What embarrasses you? Not a lot
157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: the future because I can’t really talk about it with anyone without stressing people out. But it helps me feel less anxious so I’m kind of stuck
158: Biggest lie you have ever told: oof
159: How many people are you following? 🤷🏻♀️
160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 🤷🏻♀️
161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?🤷🏻♀️
162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?🤷🏻♀️
163: Last time you cried and why: ooh like a few days ago
164: Do you have long or short hair? Short
165: Longest your hair has ever been: to my butt
166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? I don’t want to answer this
167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Yes
168: Do you like to wear makeup? Yes
169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? No
170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? Yes
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Allez, pour ta peine : nombres pairs ! Tous.
Ah la vache... Ca fait beaucoup T_T Here we go!
2. How old are you? Between 20 and 40 but not halfway. Might be a multiple of 7. Or not...
4. What is your zodiac sign? Taurus. Been told it’s very fitting...
6. What’s your lucky number? Don’t have a lucky number but I like 3 (dates back to when I first read The Black Stallion when I was a kid and Alec and Black had the number 3 during their first race XD).
8. Where are you from? France, from where France fists Belgium XD (yep that’s a saying here).
10. What shoe size are you? Fucking way too small for my liking, it’s hell to find shoes my style... (37 or 6.5).
12. What was your last dream about? Something super weird (I always have super fucking weird dreams) but I don’t really remember this one. I don’t keep a log on dreams, seems too much work because it always swings between super weird and nightmares so not like it matters much...
14. Are you psychic in any way? Huh nope and don’t believe in these things.
16. Favorite movie? The Fifth Element, it’s not a great movie but it’s like a Madeleine de Proust and takes me back to simpler times. Also fucking funny, sci-fi and awesome music, what’s not to like?
18. Do you want children? Man, kids make me uncomfortable as hell. I prefer horses XD.
20. Are you religious? Absolutely not. I only believe in science and there’s no room in there for an hypothetical superior force, that’s supposed to be all love and shit and yet lets the world in that state.
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Ah, unless you count speeding tickets as getting in trouble with the law...
24. Baths or showers? Showers.
26. Have you ever been famous? LOL nope and don’t wanna be.
28. What type of music do you like? Ooh tricky question, I have rather eclectic tastes in music. Ranges from ancient music and baroque (I love harpsichord, learned to play the piano when I was younger) to post-hardcore / “hard” music and pretty much everything in between. Discovered lately I don’t mind some bluegrass even. What I don’t like would be a way shorter list... XD I’m less a type of music kind of person and more a how that music makes me feel person, regardless of the type of music and the person/band. That said, I abhor bal musette and mostly of what we call ‘nouvelle chanson française’... In general, I like it dark and tortured.
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 and a small one.
32. How big is your house? Tis an appartment and with the new job last year I was able to afford more than just a rabbit hutch! (65m2 yus!).
34. Have you ever fired a gun? Only airsoft and paintball guns, was fun.
36. Favorite clean word? Lately I’ve been saying ‘grave’ a lot, I manage to annoy even myself when I do...
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? I think it was 3 days or perhaps 4 and not even due to insomnia.
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Eh not that I know of lol Pretty sure I’m not the type of person that gets secret admirers.
42. Are you a good judge of character? I think I am most of the time. As an introvert I spend much of my time on the sidelines of social interactions so I watch and analyze people a lot but I’ve been wrong a couple of times (especially if it’s a pretty girl -_-) and that fucking sucked each time...
44. Do you have a strong accent? In French? Nope, I made sure to erase it because I’m a snob like that. In English? Obviously I have a French one (been told it’s cute... -_-).
46. What is your personality type? INTJ, introvert all the way (is that what it’s referring to?) Because if not, I’ve been told by a psychologist I saw as part of something for my job who said I should get diagnosed for ADHD and autism, so...
48. Can you curl your tongue? Yep. Can make a tube with it, can also turn it over but only from one direction.
50. Left or right handed? Right but training the left to not be useless since childhood (you need to have a good feeling of both your hands if you want to be a good horseback rider).
52. Favorite food? Pasta all the way!
54. Are you a clean or messy person? Both. A clean mess XD Seriously, there are still some boxes I haven’t unpacked from moving in last year... My desk at work is a fucking clutter because I manage like 15 projects at the same time and sometimes the files all end up there... But I always end up fed up of the mess and clean everything like a tornado. Especially when I decide I have enough, I can’t do anything else until I cleaned everything.
56. Most used word? Fuck or ‘putain’ and it’s variation ‘putain de merde fait chier’ in French.
58. Do you have much of an ego? I do, it’s big and sometimes misplaced. I try to not let it get in the way though.
60. Do you talk to yourself? Oh yeah, especially when I fucked something up.
62. Are you a good singer? Nope, doesn’t mean I don’t like to sing very off-key when I’m alone...
64. Are you a gossip? No, not really.
66. Do you like long or short hair? In general? Long hair but I don’t care long or short as long as they’re comfortable with it and it suits them.
68. Favorite school subject? Hands down History and geology (wanted to be an archaeologist before I chose geology).
70. Have you ever been scuba diving? I’m a scuba diver (have my first degree, can dive down to 20m). I fucking love it but life happened and I haven’t been able to keep it up :(
72. Are you scared of the dark? No, I kinda like it. Although I don’t need the room to be pitch black to sleep.
74. Are you ticklish? Yeah and since I don’t always control my strength, it can lead to some kind of injuries to the tickler...
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? I guess? I taught at the engineering school in geology during my PhD, does that count?
78. Have you ever done drugs? Only weed a couple times. I try to stay clear from anything remotely addictive because I have an obsessive personality.
80. How many piercings do you have? None and not planning on getting some.
82. How fast can you type? Average fast I guess?
84. What color is your hair? Very light brown, bordering on blond (I’ve been told I’m blond and it gets even lighter in the sun...).
86. What are you allergic to? Dust and mold which is just awesome for a horse owner, everyday your nose in hay...
88. What do your parents do? Teachers both. My mother’s a History and Geography teacher which means a childhood spent visiting historical sites during any vacation.
90. What makes you angry? Stupidity, incompetence, injustice to name a few. Currently my neighbors letting the front door bang at any hour when there’s a note asking not to (my bedroom’s right next to that fucking front door)...
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Nope nope but I thought about names for my future horse(s) XD
94. What are you strengths? Loyal to a fault, up front, smart, persevering. I’m fucking funny too.
96. How did you get your name? My father always wanted to name his daughter that way. I always thought it doesn’t suit me though.
98. Do you have any scars? Oh yeah... Left shoulder, both knees, right ankle, shins, nose, chin, hands (not counting the tip of one finger I nearly lost 2 years ago), right shoulder blade.
100. Color of your room? Plain white, I rent the flat so not redecorating.
#eagle-raider#damn dude that took me like forever...#have fun with all those random info#reminds me of the good ol' times of the Warehouse 13 fandom
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The Chariot: Issue VIII
Original Publication Date: May 24, 2020
Changing Times Require Changing Cultures By: Aramis Giordano Original Publication Date: 25 March 2020
The new year and a new Hollywood administration is ushering in many necessary changes. As we are advancing through the current generation in entertainment, we are highlighting the shortcomings that the previous administration failed to focus on and fix.
Following the 2019 Ross Awards with Vanessa Harding finally taking home the crown, three of the Best Actress winners (River Johnson, Riza Yuki, and Vanessa Harding) shared their experiences of the life post-Ross recognition. River (Omelas) opened up as to how the industry shunned her after being booed out of stage for winning over Keira Kuyama (Your Lie in April) back in 2017. Riza Yuki (Death Note: Zero) also followed the same suit the year after in 2018 for winning over Keira Kuyama (The Town Without Me).
With the public humiliation, River's career took a great hit and unofficially became the face of the silenced and attacked women in the industry. She vocalized transparency and awareness of how the media is shaping the audience's minds and opinions by pitting talented women again each other. Since River's 2017 win, it has became an annual tradition for women to talk about the gender issue prior to awarding Best Actress.
2019 also saw the rise of culturally-important stories, such as Don't Cry for Me Argentina and Things Fall Apart and also provided platforms for South and Southeast Asian women to flourish, such as Samar Chopra (Hotel del Luna), Kiev Harjanti (A Story I Couldn't See), and Anjali Varma (Still Seventeen), yet none of these women and films were recognized for their contributions in the industry.
Three months into his presidency, Emerson Wright has exemplified the importance of diversity, not only in roles, but also in perspectives. He wants to provide a platform on those whose voices are rarely heard with the White-majority Hollywood under Lawrence Harland's administration and the Asian-majority MC-Wylde under Davis Wylde's leadership. Within three months, three movies have been released that showed the range of talent from Middle Eastern and Black actors and directors.
Emerson Wright started his presidency with the release of The Messiah, directed by Walid Abd al-Rahman, showcasing the first main roles given to those of Middle Eastern descent. The second movie focused on the story embodying the complexity of the relationships between the Mexican cartels and the Italian mafia in Zero Zero Zero. The third movie, groundbreaking with being the first movie to present an all-Black cast and director, On Her Own Ground tells the story of the first ever self-made female millionaire.
Emerson also wanted to purge the administration of the blame and blackball culture pushing forth the agenda by having his first movie star Chrystia Allwright as the female lead. Prior to his administration, Chrystia was blackballed after winning Best Actress (The Eureka Moment) in 2015 against the fan-and-industry favorite, Vanessa Harding (1906). For four years, Chrystia was unable to star in any movie role until Cygna Entertainment, a subsidiary of MC-Wylde, provided the opportunity, with her sister Kendra Allwright helming.
As a director himself, Emerson knows how to win both the administration and the crowd by bringing forth the powerful comebacks of classic actors such as Aubree Jones and Clapton Robinson, further sparking excitement within the entertainment industry. As the new president is releasing groundbreaking films, Davis Wylde sits idly and continues to draw in large crowd praising the films highlighting Asian excellence.
So far, he has released four very successful films: Vagabond (Beijing Lee, Meili Wang), Crash Landing on You (Park Jungmin, Joanna Park), Guardian: Great and Lonely God (Rayyan Ong, Malivalaya Leechaiyapornkul), and To the Kingdom of the Gods (Jeong Minhyuk, Joanna Park).
As it's approaching its third year, the Asian Age does not seem to be slowing down. The longest generation so far spanned almost four years (Stagnant Age, April 2013-November 2016); it won't be long until this current generation surpasses it - unless this rapidly-evolving movement caused by the Emerson's changes welcomes in a new revival.
Meet the Visionaries of the Ross Awards Committee By: Aramis Giordano Original Publication Date: 12 April 2020
The corruption scandal that took down the previous administration of Hollywood Studios finally lead to the formation of the Ross Awards committee, formed to independently screen and choose the nominees and winners from this point forward. After four months of deliberating how to build the framework of the new leadership roles, the Ross Committee decided to mirror the current administrations of MC-Wylde and Hollywood Studios.
Both Davis Wylde and Emerson Wright held debriefings for the past four months to discuss the future of the committee and how it will maintain its lack of bias and independency. The topic of corruption was brought up the most with the fear of repeating what happened in the 2016 Ross Awards in which previous Hollywood Studios Chairman Omar Vanderkoff was accused of falsifying the Best Actress results.
Davis Wylde and Emerson Wright agreed to establish an official impartial screening tool for the committee administration to use when hiring their staff. It will assess and analyze previous workplaces, experience, education, and connections within the industry. The committee decided to announce that a staff with a history of working with either MC-Wylde or Hollywood Studios would have their applications reviewed with the utmost precaution prior to moving ahead. On April 12, 2020, the official administration that would build the future of the Ross Awards Committee were announced. Hans Neumann would serve as the committee's president, Jolie Laurent as the vice president, and Godfrey Howard as the chief of staff. They request the rest of the year to fill in the empty positions, create new roles, and allow interns and volunteers to collaborate together in preparation for this year's Ross Awards. "People never had anyone to put their blames on whenever they don't like the results of the Awards", Anika host Anika Sunisa begins. "The Ross has always caused the greatest divide within the industry and the general mass audience and we've always pit the candidates against each other as if they're modern-day gladiators". "Hans Neumann is placed in the most dangerous position in the industry for all the arrows and guns will be pointed at him by the time December comes", Vanity Chariot editor Lancer Knight claims. "He will definitely be the most talked about, if not most attacked, president in entertainment history", he finishes. Presidents have never had it easy with the audience, as shown by the very publicized witch hunt that led to Lawrence Harland stepping down the previous year. Hans Neumann should have expected it to be the case prior to accepting the coveted role. "In the case of Emerson", Anika continues the discussion. "He has his reputation preceding him as someone generally well-liked." That was also the case with Lawrence Harland. He has a very over-the-top personality, which was shown in the types of movies he released. Lawrence wanted to create spectacles that would leave legacies for as long as possible; he also focused a lot of his attention on presenting himself as a cult personality, especially with the establishment of Lawrence Harland University. "This is in contrast to Davis and Emerson who want to create films to tell stories that are current and relevant and let time decide its fate". Lancer agrees to Anika's claims. It will definitely be interesting to see how this decision of opening up the Ross committee will affect the future of the awards ceremony and how it will play a role in shaping the entertainment industry. On the other hand, after the announcement comes the abrupt statement that current MC-Wylde Chief of Staff McCormick Hawthorne is stepping down after two years of service. Following the resignation, he disclosed his plans to go back to teaching film history in Lawrence Harland University this upcoming school semester. It was reported that Seema Banerjee will replace him after a long discussion among the three leaders of the company. Davis Wylde also announced the official Chairman of Cygna Entertainment, Manuela Valdiviero. Vanessa Harding unofficially held the position previously and would only do the role during pre-production of the films. The official appointment of Manuela Valdiviero serves as a good sign for a bright and prolific years ahead for Cygna Entertainment.
Emerson Nation is Catching Fire By: Aramis Giordano Original Publication Date: 24 May 2020
Five months into his presidency and Emerson Wright had already taken the entertainment industry by storm. In early May, the Hollywood president announced the upcoming revival of the esteemed The Hunger Games series by releasing a prequel that is being helmed by the master himself, Gary Ross.
Following the announcement, social media sites exploded with excitement by sharing predictions, posting theories, and hosting watch parties in preparation for the upcoming movie. The fifth The Hunger Games film, titled Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, will center around Coriolanus Snow as the mentor of the District 12 female tribute in the 10th Hunger Games. Filming has commenced with information that Damien Avanda will be portraying the future president of Panem, while Persia Chapman plays alongside him as Lucy Gray Baird, tribute from District 12. "It's the biggest project of my career thus far and we're making sure we do the movie justice," Emerson assured during the press conference held on May 17, 2020. During the same event, he also announced that Hollywood is finally releasing three live adaptions of Avatar: The Last Airbender in collaboration with Davis Wylde. The trailer for the first movie was dropped, which tells the story of the adventures in the first book, with newcomer Chaucer Lim playing the titular character, and Cara Miyazaki, Mishima Kenshi, and Ikeda Marusa portraying the fan-favorites Katara, Sokka, and Zuko respectively. This unprecedented collaboration marks an important event in the entertainment industry's history as both Emerson Wright and Davis Wylde shared their resources in "recreating the masterpiece that is Aang's story". No news have been made regarding the live adaptation of Legend of Korra as of yet. These two colossal announcements gave the current administration the nickname "Emerson Nation", a wordplay based on Avatar: The Last Airbender in which the Fire Nation rapidly takes over the world.
#Emerson wright#davis wylde#avatar#hunger games#ballad of songbirds and snakes#river johnson#chrystia allright#Keira kuyama#riza yuki#omelas#1906#town without me#your lie in april#death note#Lawrence harland#hotel del luna#story I couldn't see#vagabond#zero zero zero#messiah#on her own ground#eureka moment#crash landing on you#guardian#kingdom#Anika sunisa#don't cry for me argentina#things fall apart#ross awards#Hans neumann
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804.
1. When was the last time you swam in a pool? >> The last time I was in a pool was probably over 5 years ago, at Easton Mountain. I’m not fond of the way pool water smells. 2. Do you like to party? >> I like gatherings, and get-togethers, and barbecues, and casual social events at someone’s house with food and booze and games. I don’t really care for anything more hectic than that. 3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? >> --- 4. Are you a virgin? >> No. 5. What are your parents views on your relationships? >> There could never be a relationship that my father would have approved of.
6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years, would you marry them? >> --- 7. Is your best friend dating anyone? >> --- 8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing? >> It’s black and has the design from the Endless Night Vampire Ball of 2019 on it. 9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you? >> Why would that bother me? 10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up? >> Of course, I do it all the time. 11. What is one feature that you don’t like? >> --- 12. Would people describe you as happy? >> I don’t know how people would describe me. It’s not like I make a habit of asking, and most people don’t make a habit of volunteering that information out of the blue. 13. Are you single? >> No. 14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single? >> Eh, whatever. For some reason, romantic relationships are of the most pressing importance to a lot of people, and I’ve gotten used to it. 15. Do you have Tumblr? >> Heh. Wouldn’t you like to know.
16. What about Xanga? >> Damn.... RIP. 17. Have you ever babysat before? >> Nope. 18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate? >> Well, no, I’m not even in school. 19. Ever shopped at Sephora? >> Yeah, many times. 20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away, what would you do? >> The thing about having a spouse whomst you live with is that this kind of thing is way less likely to happen. 21. Do you have any university plans? >> No. 22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do? >> --- 23. What are your views on sex? >> I don’t have “views” on sex. That’s such a broad question, lmao... 24. Do sexual questions bother you? >> Nah. 25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up? >> Wh.................. 26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding? >> Nah, I was never much into the idea of having a wedding. And then I had one, so you know. Life is like that. 27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’? >> I haven’t seen anyone type like that in almost a decade. The world has moved on. 28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? >> --- 29. Would you ever date a friends Ex? >> This is one of those situations that I just can’t at all imagine myself navigating. 30. What’s the last book you read? >> The last book I finished was The King in Yellow. That’s going to be my answer for a while, because the book I’m (re-)reading right now is fucking long. 31. Ready for 10 simple questions? >> Nope. 32. What is your last name? >> Hmm. 33. What grade are you in? >> I’m not in a grade. 34. What school do you go to? >> --- 35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring? >> Spring. 36. Favorite Color? >> Gold. 37. Are your parents together? >> No. 38. Any siblings? >> Not worth mention. 39. Favorite subject? >> I don’t have a favourite subject.
40. Least favorite subject? >> Or a least favourite subject. 41. Favorite song? >> People who can choose one favourite song are cryptids. 42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy? >> Hopefully I can stop giving such simple answers, too. 43. How many friends do you have on Facebook? >> Thirteen. 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country? >> Nope. 45. Have you ever googled yourself? >> Yeah. It’d be a lot harder to google myself now, because I have a fictional character’s name. 46. Have a Formspring? >> Well, no, considering that site is defunct. 47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? >> Tell whoever it is to give the tickets to someone else? I’m completely uninterested in Justin Bieber. 48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park? >> Amusement park, if I must. 49. Been to Disney world? >> No. 50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean? >> No. 51. Ever had a boyfriend? >> Yes.
52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? >> I don’t know, maybe. 53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret? >> No. 54. Ever drank alcohol? >> Certainly. 55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs? >> Sure. 56. Ever watched The Hills? >> No. 57. What about Jersey Shore? >> No. 58. Ever called someone a slut? >> Not seriously. I’ve said it in a joking way to friends who appreciate that sort of banter. 59. What do you think of short shorts? >> I don’t want to wear them. 60. Does it bother you if people swear around you? >> Of course not. 61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject? >> Yes. 62. What about a B? >> Argh..... yes to all. NEXT 63. And a C? 64. How about a D? 65. Ever skived? >> I don’t know what that is. 66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle? >> These dynamics don’t really apply to adult life... well, not in my experience. Maybe if I had a more structured social life? 67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you? >> --- 68. Ever been stabbed in the back by a close friend? >> Nah. 69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69? >> I don’t make any judgements about it. 70. Ever watched porn? >> Yep. 71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month? >> I don’t think I’ve broken any, considering I barely even go outside except to take walks. 72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock? >> No. 73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays? >> All days of the week are pretty much interchangeable to me. 74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join? >> --- 75. Ever performed in a talent show? >> Probably. I don’t remember. 76. Have you ever cried in public? >> Yeah. I used to be homeless in a metropolis, privacy wasn’t something I had access to. Guess that might be part of why I’m so big on it now. 77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad? >> --- 78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? >> Fuck no. 79. How many celebrity crushes have you had? >> *shrug* 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? >> *shrug* 81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive. >> Matthew McConaughey, Peter Mensah, Jeremy Irons, Denzel Washington, Oscar Isaac. 82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive. >> Sandra Oh, Aisha Hinds, Normani Kordei, Gillian Anderson, Helen Mirren. 83. Ever been compared to a celebrity? >> Yeah, a couple of times. 84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? >> I only have one photo of myself on facebook. 85. Do you think spending £20 on Lip Gloss is a waste of money? >> It’s not a waste of money for whoever buys it. That person just wouldn’t be me, I have no interest in lip gloss. 86. Are you opinionated? >> Not especially. 87. Do you have a favorite store? >> Nope. 88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans? >> I did when I was younger, but I doubt I’d be into them now. 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny? >> No. I can’t really fit into any jeans that aren’t stretchy (and the stretchy ones are usually skinny jeans). 90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week? >> Many times. 91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school? >> A couple of months, when I was in the psych ward. 92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand? >> Yeah. I google almost anything I don’t understand, unless I just have zero interest in understanding. 93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture? >> Why... would that bother me... 94. Own a pair of converse? >> Nope. I can’t wear any shoe without arch support. 95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites? >> --- 96. If yes, are you one of them? >> --- 97. Do you text in class? >> --- 98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most? >> The only pairs of jeans I have are from Old Navy. 99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” >> I don’t know what sizes are plus-sized and I’m not interested in finding out right now. 100. Do you want to lose weight? >> Yes. 101. Ever seen a therapist? >> Yes. 102. Ever watched porn? >> This is a repeat question and I would delete it if the questions weren’t numbered. 103. Ever purposely ignored a text? >> Yeah. 104. A facebook message? >> Yeah. 105. A poke? >> God, when did they finally get rid of those? I haven’t heard about pokes in years. 106. A friend request? >> Yeah. 107. Would you say you read into things too much? >> I don’t know if I read into things too much or not. 108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid? >> --- 109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?) >> No. 110. Ever been called a bully? >> No. 111. Ever purposely hurt yourself? >> Many times. 112. Ever gone to church? >> Many times. I think I’ve gotten the gist of it by now. 113. Would you call either of your parents screw ups? >> One of them was certainly a screw-up in caring for their child... 114. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? >> Absolutely not, considering that’s the parent I was talking about in the previous question. 115. What do you want to do with your life? >> I don’t have any specific goals for my life. I’m pretty content just living it.
116. Let me guess… You have brown hair? >> Yeah. 117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween? >> I don’t know if I’m ever going to get to dress up for Halloween. We’ll see. 118. Do you still go Trick or Treating? >> I’ve never been and I am way too old for it now. 119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you? >> Like 80% of the celebrities I named in those two questions about attractive celebrities are way older than me. 120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus? >> Only when I don’t have my headphones with me, which is... just about never. I know I have sensory issues, so I come prepared. 121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people? >> Fuck no. 122. Ever had a credit card denied? >> Yeah. 123. What’s the last movie you watched? >> The Lovebirds. 124. Last TV Show? >> Patriot Act. 125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do? >> I can’t imagine this being bothersome to me. Or even significant, honestly. 126. Ever been called a whore? >> No. 127. Are you american? >> Yeah. 128. Ever made yourself throw up? >> Yeah. 129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend? >> Yeah. 130. Are you Cute or Gross? >> What...??? 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”? >> It would bother me if that was a situation I’d ever find myself in. 132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like? >> --- 133. Ever had the lead in a play? >> Nope. 134. What about a solo in a concert? >> Nope. 135. What kind of a student are you? >> I’m not a student. 136. Worst subject? >> --- 137. Best subject? >> --- 138. Ever had a crush on a teacher? >> Something like that. 139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? >> --- 140. How late do you sleep in? >> 9a seems to be my limit. 141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them? >> --- 142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you? >> This is so fucking rude. 143. Do you believe in love? >> Yawn. 144. Would you consider yourself a good student? >> --- 145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?” >> Not really, I usually just delete that question because, like... the survey-maker is definitely not going to see it, so what’s the point. 146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy? >> Salty + sweet, spicy + sweet, spicy + salty, or any of them alone except for sweet. 147. Are you going into High School this year? >> Fuck no lmao 148. What about Junior High? >> Double fuck no lmao 149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry? >> I don’t know, man. That’s usually contextual, anyway. 150. Where did you find this note? >> I got this survey from another survey-taker on tumblr. 151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone? >> Zero.
#surveys#survey#random survey#some surveys just don't need to be as long as they are#question quality is in the gutter
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RWBY - Volume 6, Chapter 12 Production Analysis
Previous Volume 6 Production Analysis Posts:
Chapters one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, & eleven
“Defining” would probably be the best way to describe a lot of the moments in this episode, as both plot lines had practically as much to highlight and analyze as the last chapter. Let’s break down all the whys and hows through the production.
Opening the episode is some interesting motion capture with the Atlessian soldiers. Although mo-cap in RWBY is nothing new and there was probably some touch-up through key animation, it’s strange in terms of how noticeable it felt. Then again, they’re faces are hardly shown so all there is to read are the body gestures, hence why it probably felt more obvious than usual. Not really a good or bad thing, just an observation. Skipping ahead a bit, as Oscar explains a blind spot to the others, we see some more of dust cannon fire effects, likely ice dust since the same blue-colored smoke effects are there. At this point, there’s not much particularly new to say about the type of effect so much as how it looks viewed from another angle. This actually helps give a bit more to analyze as to how the effect is constructed when fired. It seems that at least in this case, given the shapes of parts of the the cannon fire as it dissipates, there may be a bit more of 2-D effects than presumed. There’s also a blue-filter effect layered through composting somewhere within the effect of the cannon fire that increases width at first and then thins out.
There will be more to speak in terms of effects, but there are a couple of side notes to quickly mention. First is just the way Ruby climbs up the cliff side. It’s a small moment and a little funny-looking given the circumstances, but it’s also great little animation considering that it may not have been mo-capped at all. First she squats a bit more as she pulls Crescent Rose, then she makes a great leaping pose when climbing up and once her weapon pierces through the cliffs, her body suddenly drops as she holds on. From then on, it’s rinse and repeat and combined with the way her weapon bends as she pulls and swings it and how her cape flaps as follow-through animation as she settles in a squatting position and the gesture feels more convincing. Considering that there’s definitely a wrong way to pull and swing a tool akin to a giant scythe, there’s something to appreciate about the whole sequence as an animation enthusiast. And speaking of Ruby’s weapon, Crescent Rose, that’s the other side note. It’s easy to forget, but despite it’s size during scythe mode, when viewed from the front or back, it’s relatively thin, which helps somewhat to remind the viewer how a 17-year-old girl can easily carry something so seemingly-massive.
Skipping ahead a bit, we have Ruby getting into position to fire at the missile carrier. Seeing a close-up of a bullet fired has been done a few times before, both in RWBY and even in RWBY Chibi. The way the effect is done tends to vary slightly in each occasion and here, there’s no trail until after the bullet ricochets against the missile carrier. Similar to the mo-capped movement of the Atlessian soldiers though, this is just a neutral observation. That said, what’s more interesting is what comes after. When Cordovin preps up a lightning dust blast, we get a close-up shot of Ruby with her pupils gleaming while viewing the lightning. This trick was likely from the compositing team, but ever since it was revealed back at RTX Austin 2018 that lead compositor for volume 6, Penelope Nederlander and Amanda Gotera both came up with the electricity effect flowing around Hazel’s arms during volume 5, I’ve felt especially curious to learn which ideas for effects have come from who. Though this is a question that may not have an answer any time soon, assuming there will be one at all. On another note, although I’ve talked extensively about the lightning dust cannon fire in the chapter 10 production analysis and this effect is more or less the same, I’ve neglected to mention the way it fires. Whereas the earth dust fires in split-second bursts, ice dust fires more like a beam with a poofy smoke effect and wind dust fires being shaped and timed to draw a combination of the earlier two dusts, lightning dust fires starting with a brief electrical spiral and then follows with a flash and then a laser expanding in size with a series of electric rings surrounding it. The overall blast itself actually lingers the longest in comparison and constantly emits an array of electrical stream effects that reach and extend to the airship, its controls and Maria’s specs for at least several seconds. This just goes to show how much thought is considered as to keeping the timing of each dust cannon fire consistent.
Next up is the scene where the airship crashed. Right before cutting to it, we get an off-screen bird transformation from Qrow and though there was nothing wrong with it being animated, it shows how the idea of having Qrow transition from his human form to his bird form can be trickier to make the idea feel more seamless rather than the other way around. Once getting to the crash site itself, we get what is essential a damaged model of the ship as part of the environment as oppose to it being its own model. This is actually now as good of a time as any to mention something that I’m a bit upset for not spotting sooner. Since chapter 10, the staff credits included a vehicle designer within the art department named Scott Zenteno. As one would guess, this position refers to him designing vehicles for the show which upon reflection, there have not been much of between volumes 4 and 5 outside of the design for the average Mistral airship and the ship Blake took to Menagerie. Now what being a vehicle designer for volume 6 means for Scott is not just limited to designing the airship the gang steal since he apparently also designed Cordovin’s mech suit. Just a quick acknowledgement to make about a rather late entry in the ever-growing production staff.
As Cordovin approaches the crash site, we get a sequence of Ruby attempting to face her while Qrow tries to stop her. At least most of this sequence was confirmed to have been animated by Hannah Novotny via her Tumblr account through the tags underneath her reblog that say “my shots, except the last one”. Having spoken of her before, her animations here are a bit more nuanced and some of the tells I’ve mentioned about how she does character acting seems to be lacking. Although with Qrow, the way his eyebrows greatly raises and then slightly lowers as he is slightly taken aback in response to seeing Ruby’s stern face and the way his mouth slightly opens is an indication of small anticipatory action that I’ve used to describe Hannah’s animations before. The same observation can be referred to the next shot when Ruby slightly raises her head while saying, “I need you...”, and then firmly lowers her head when saying, “...to trust me”. Moving on to the next sequence, we get Ruby’s defiance against Cordovin accompanied with some very abundant, emotional character acting out of her in a couple of shots. After learning that Alyssa Lisiecki animated much of Jaune’s meeting with the Red-Haired Woman a few episodes back who I initially assumed to be Asha Bishi, I’ve been careful not to conflate the two and their animation styles. However, since it was confirmed that Asha animated a much later scene in the episode, it is somewhat safe to assume that this was Alyssa. In the shots that focus on Ruby there is a combination of the glimmer in her eyes, the the mouth movements, way her head shifts, and the way her shoulders raise and lower respond accordingly to each part of what she says to help further make it clear at which points is she feeling defiant, frustrated and stern. It’s the kind of character acting one would see in animators who excel at that kind of thing in anime such as Shinji Suetomi, Toshiyuki Tsuru, Akira Hamaguchi, Masayuki Nonaka, Yuki Hayashi, Masami Mori & Masashi Kudo, the character designer for Bleach.
Once Cordovin prepares to fire, Ruby zips into the barrel of the cannon with a whip-like animation akin to when Joel Mann animated Ruby in the volume 4 character short. As Ruby mounts her weapon and aims at the dust, she dons a very wide stance with her posture down, then bounces herself back up a bit and then back down again to prep herself. Assuming that it was Alyssa who did the previous sequence, it may have extended to here as well. Whether it was her or someone else though, Ruby this entire episode has been granted with character acting that greatly reminds the viewer who Ruby is in action. She then breathes in to signify how crucial it is that she times her move just right and as she fires and escapes, we get an amazing assortment of rock and ice suddenly forming, explosions, lightning, debris, steam, and bursting air/water. It’s so absurdly incredible that one would wonder how difficult thing of a thing it was to pull all that off. The bursts towards the bottom, possibly done via compositing, emits a transparent effect akin to seeing through streams of rushing water. The explosion effects are very similar to the ones from when Ruby maneuvered around all the missiles in the last chapter. Then there’s the earth and ice sprouting which convincingly creates small debris. It’s one hell of a spectacle. Finally, we get Ruby falling down the sky unconsciously and having her left arm and leg be limp enough to effectively be lifted a bit along with her body rotating while coming into contact with each of Weiss’s glyphs helps sell how much her stunt took out of her.
Once all is said and done with that part of the episode, we’re out of the conclusion of one fight and into settling another one that starts with some more character acting. As mentioned previously, it is pleasing to see how the facial expressions coming from Adam unmasked helps compliment Garret Hunter’s vocal performance, making it much more convincing (*note: that footage has audio). That’s not to say Garret was never improving over the course of the show until now, but since this is the final scene featuring his character as he currently is, what Adam says, how his lines are delivered and what his eyes and mouth emote makes what he says and does feel more engaging. Of course, it helps that Arryn Zech and Barbara Dunkelman equally put forth convincing performances as well, but more on that later. Also, side note, in case it was not made clear by now to some viewers, the ending credits displays Adam’s unmasked design (likely drawn by lead concept artist, Erin Winn) with the branding mark clearly stating “SDC”, short for Schnee Dust Company and not “600″ like some reactors initially thought.
What comes next is the final conflict between these characters and within the first ten seconds is a very interesting observation. I previously pointed out how the first 10 seconds of the fight sequence were very similar to snippets of the fight between Naruto, Sasuke & Momoshiki in Boruto, episode 65 which that specific part was animated by Weilin Zhang. It’s not confirmed whether this was an intentional nod or not, but if it is, then I can’t help but suspect Kevin Harger once again provided the storyboards. The reason for this is back during RTX Austin 2018, Kevin was a panelist for the Just the Fights panel hosted by Torrian Crawford and each panelist was to present a fight sequence they were fond of, be it their own or someone else’s. Considering Kim Newman was the one who provided clips of episode 65 of Boruto, expressing how some parts excited her while other parts made her cry, Kevin was made aware of the episode by at least that point, if not sooner and might’ve used it as partial inspiration. Of course, I could be reaching at the end of the day but if that’s the case, then Blake and Yang vs Adam plays a light homage while still having each of the characters consistently fight in their own respective ways.
At the very least, what is clear is the animation team behind the fight consisting of assistant lead animator, Melanie Stern, Matt Drury, John Yang, Megan Pellino, Joe Vick, Vito Ferber & Asha Bishi at the end. This is mostly the same team as the last episode and having to proceed with things back-to-back, as exciting as it probably was for them, must have been equally exhausting. The fruits of their labor definitely shows though, starting with the double-teaming effort on Blake and Yang’s part who I presume Melanie did, though at this point, it’s not totally clear. What’s probably so great about this portion is that the camera is positioned at dynamic angles that help to draw the viewer’s eye to where each character is in a given moment. In one shot, when Yang exits the shot from the front, Blake appears from the side. When Blake kicks Adam, Yang in the next shot is positioning herself to attack. When Adam recovers, we see where both Blake and Yang are positioned at a given shot. Once Blake gets a kick in and then dodges Adam’s strike, Yang steps in and after she gets a few hits on Adam, Blake appears again after Yang is off-screen. Even the moment where Adam deflects Blake’s gambol shroud has a long shot of Yang in the middle which cuts to a close-up of her being alert only to have her appear two shots later to grab the weapon. This is similar to what I mentioned liking about the train fight sequences in the chapter one production analysis. There is a smooth transition between characters in a given space that the fight feels more interconnected and it’s something that certain storyboard artists/animators in anime incorporate into fights.
Skipping ahead slightly to right before Adam and Yang’s portion of the conflict, we get another small character acting moment that once again displays the synergy between Garrett’s acting and Adam’s facial expressions. This also extends a bit to when Adam remains on the offensive when he lashes out at Yang who just quietly observes Blake climbing up. This segment also seems to have said character acting mo-capped, though obviously polished with key animation by whoever animated this segment. We then get a couple of strikes from him, including his buzz-saw trick (there’s audio within the footage) from the last episode which according to sound designer/engineer, Philip Spann, is supposedly based off of the foley sound of skill and power saws running using a tremolo effect. Adam of course being as charged as he is, comes equipped with red-accented lightning and forming a black silhouette while in mid-air and when he strikes down, Yang herself gets a near-black silhouette for a split-second. Once Adam sends another blast at Yang, we get the attack viewed from Yang’s back accompanied with some wavy blur compositing and more realistic-looking smoke effects. An interesting touch is that when the smoke appears, we get one brief yellow lightning and then a bit of red lightning afterward.
Then comes the big part. Despite being unsure prior, it’s very safe to say judging by the very dynamic poses and great anticipatory action that John Yang without a doubt animated Yang’s “gotcha” punch. There’s obviously a lot to talk about this moment in general, the first being how he has Yang’s fingers smear to convincingly present the wind-up which leads to the next cut of Yang pulling Adam’s sword towards her, thus creating a bigger wind-up and then the effects of her punch with a bright trail to show the arc of it which follows with a couple of seconds of slow-motion. Then it gets to the next cut where sparks, ring effects and another trail effect shows to add to the sense of impact right before Adam is flown away. That’s all just one thing about the moment to talk about for the record. There’s also the effect of Yang’s semblance itself, a first since the production staff migrated to using Autodesk Maya and 3DS Max. Up until now, the hair on Yang’s semblance simply had a quick burst of fire and energy and the rest was just a matter of keeping her eyes red and having her fight more aggressively. Even the idea of Yang’s semblance according to Miles in the volume 1 blu-ray director’s audio commentary was initially meant as a bit of a running gag for her character:
Miles: “So this was um... A bunch of people were like "Does her hair give her power, what's goin' on with her hair?" Honestly, it's just because we thought it'd be funny. It, she's Goldilocks!”
Kerry: “She takes care of herself.”
Miles: “She takes care, and. And a bunch of people were like "Oh, this, this self-confident girl like why does she care what other people think about her?" She doesn't care what other people think, but her hair is something that she takes care of and she really likes it and they're screwing it up.”
Monty: “Yeah.”
Somewhere along the line though, the trait was presented more earnestly and in this specific case, the effects are much different. Instead of being a brief burst, the fire-like glow coats over her hair and does so consistently and it features small fire sparks emitting off of her hair. Complimenting it of course is a burning sound effect as Philip Spann describes it that unsurprisingly took inspiration from the Dragon Ball franchise. Finally, there’s the voice acting. At the risk of being frank, Barbara Dunkelman who otherwise provides great acting in dialogue scenes, was lacking in expressing shouts and grunts when fighting. In anime dubs, voice actors in action-oriented scenes often put forth a sense of build-up in a yell which can vary from actor-to-actor, from scene-to-scene depending on the context of the direction. Even Christopher Niosi who has only been consistently voice acting for a few years as of this post has worked on roles that required such a vocal delivery. Sometimes voice actors have their shouts and grunts change depending on what the character goes through over the course of the story, such as how Johnny Yong Bosch once explained how he had his character from Bleach, Ichigo yell differently between the beginning and the end of the Soul Society arc. In comparison, whenever Barbara shouted as Yang before, there generally was more of a strain. Granted, Barbara is not a voice actress first and foremost, but she has dipped into more voice acting on occasion through characters like Cosmos in Fairy Tail. That and her type of yells have been a consistent thing since the beginning of RWBY. This is why it was a very pleasant surprise how much of a difference was made when her shout had more of that kind of build-up to it, to the point where if one didn’t know any better that it could have come from a different voice. Then again, it sounds similar to how Barbara sounded when Yang performs her astral finish in Blazblue: Cross Tag Battle, which as a fighting game, how a character shouts or grunts can affect a gamer’s playing experience. It is possible that by that point, Barbara was getting a better grasp of how to handle such vocal delivery. It also helps how much the yell aligned with the timing of the wind-up for the animation.
After the punch, it is shown how Yang’s semblance dissipates which releases the flame coating off of her hair. Staying on the subject of her semblances, there has been some consistent confusion on when one’s aura shimmers and when it breaks. Philip Spann once again provides insight from an audio perspective about the matter, stating how canon sounds do exist for both characters and that aura breaks in particular have a bass drop effect. While it is difficult to tell if that’s what happened with Adam, it’s definitely clear that this was what happened with Yang. Skipping ahead, we get Blake climbing back up with a surprise attack which then leads to one cut after another of Adam and Blake noticing the Gambol shroud and Adam first lunging after it with Blake to soon follow, which between the timing that displays “show, don’t tell” and the sound effect of Adam kicking the pieces as he’s knocked back should’ve made it clear that one intended to go for the kill first and the other quickly reacted as a result with Yang to follow. Speaking of which, there is an interesting touch where in the shot where as Blake is about to strike, a glistening effect is shown on the tip of the Gambol Shroud piece she has. What follows is another interesting bit where the blood spreads around where Adam gets stabbed, though it’s unclear whether this was at all done in compositing or something else. Adam’s slow walk and fall was all actually animated by Matt Drury which was quite fascinating considering how much of a fan of the character he was. This does however serve as a reminder that he and the other people involved with each segment of the fight are animators and not just “fight choreographers”, meaning that they can be equally capable at character acting. To cap off the death, Philip Spann once more gives sound design insight stating that despite not having any influence over the script, he did try to give an explicit bone-crack sound as he hit the rock. Finally, we get the aftermath where Blake breaks down and this was the part Asha Bishi animated. There are cues in the scene that make it evident it came from here, the most obvious tell being the way Blake’s arms and hands harshly shaking and her hands clenching as she drops to the ground she felt about what she did which followed with her abdomen strongly inhaling and exhaling as she cries in front of Yang who readily consoles her. What adds to the scene is the long shot of the two in front of the waterfall which carries over the framing from the end of the last chapter where just their hands were in front of the cliff to now having the both of them in front of it.
Ending the episode is not much, as it simply is a setup for the finale episode. Though we do get a small funny bit with the communication device, an amusing, flabbergasted expression from Cordovin and a good gulp from one of the soldiers in response to witnessing the Leviathan Grimm. This penultimate episode did not have as much going on as the previous one but due to the moments themselves being bigger in terms of both presentation and production, there was just as much, if not more to break down. As the finale comes, there’s something interesting to mention about updates regarding the production itself or rather lack thereof. Usually by now, certain members of the Crwby like lead animators or one of the producers would mention when a certain phase of production would wrap-up. Back in volume 5, then co-lead animator, Joel Mann confirmed on January 9th, 2018 that the animation stage ended before the finale premiered on the 20th. For volume 4, Joel confirmed that animation was done on January 26th, 2017 before its finale on February 4th. Before that, Gray Haddock mentioned how volume 3′s animation ended on January 23rd, 2016 while that finale premiered on the 13th of February.
Usually, there is a 2-3 week period where the main production phase is ending before post-production needs to be finished. However, no mention came from anyone this time. The closest we got to anything remotely resembling a confirmation was Kerry talking about doing some super casual, relaxing things on January 19th (which he very much deserved), which at least implies whatever production that involved him overseeing and approving as the director was likely done. It’s not clear this lack of sharing the status of the production was due to simply forgetting or if it was a personal choice or if the fact Gen:Lock was around the corner that all attention was directed towards that instead. It’s hard to say but I’m not really worried about what that could mean for the finale episode. That said, Neath Oum, the voice of Lie Ren, did once again state that whatever big moment coming in these last batch of episodes didn’t even occur yet. What could that mean for the finale? We all would just have to hold out butts until then.
#rwby#rwby6#rwby spoilers#rwby analysis#crwby#production analysis#melanie stern#philip spann#scott zenteno#hannah novotny
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This is a two part question. The first part will cover details concerning the character and situation, which I was wondering if either or both could highlight torture as okay. The second part will take the character and situation and give a scenario so I could check for accuracy. So the character I’m asking for tortures people, they do it regularly, and for fun, as if they get more stressed out they’ll pick up a few more victims to torture. (I’m wondering if there’s a max amount of people (1/17) someone could handle torturing in a certain amount of time?) When talking about it with others, they’ll claim it makes them feel better (more stable really) and that they need to do it. They’ve been hurting and killing people since they were a kid (about eight or ten, due to jealously and neglect), their parents don’t really care what they do and they’re allowed to make whatever decisions they want, so torture is pretty engrained in their lifestyle. This character is highly apathetic (2/17) and doesn’t care for people. They mainly torture people because they like the power it gives them over people especially because they hate feeling weak in any sense, and they also like causing people pain and watching them bleed. They do understand and state at some points that what they do is unforgivable, but they show no remorse or regret over torturing and killing people, it’s almost like a high to them. I’m not overly sure what type of effects torturing people would have (3/17) on said character, except that it’ll make them feel more apathetic and desensitized and maybe even unstable and feeling like they need to do it more often. They also like consuming the victim, though sometimes the victim doesn’t last longer than a few months because they really bloody and cruel procedures. I’m not sure how long a victim would last, they have a doctor on scene and have medical knowledge so they can keep someone from dying right away, and I’m also not overly sure on how (4/17) popular overly cruel techniques are. They aren’t affiliated with a government or anything, but they have a very wealthy backing making it really easy for them to do as they wish. They also don’t do sexual things to their victims, they prefer to keep that sort of thing separate and are more about seeing how nicely people can get taken apart. (I was wondering then if slowly killing people counts as torture actually as sometimes it can take several months. Nearly all of their victims die, (5/17) the longest never lasting more than a year. I was also wondering what type of torture methods they would really enjoy.) When they want to mix something up, they’ll use something like stress positions, but it’s not as fun because it’s less hands on, though they may leave someone like that while they go off to do something else. Most everyone turns a blind eye if they’re aware of what this character is doing, because if they don’t they could easily end up being the character’s next victim. (6/17) Sometimes the character will make people watch or even participate, (what type of effects could that have on someone, especially if it’s someone that’s really not prone to doing it in the first place?) I am worried about people turning a blind eye as coming off as writing off torture as okay, even though the main character states that it is not okay, and that they are a horrible person for doing it, especially since it’s at the expense of other people’s lives to do such a thing. (7/17)
OK so my game plan with this one, since it is so long is to post it as two separate questions that I’m going to try to post one after the other. This is the longest ask I’ve ever gotten and I really want to thank the asker for being so patient because it’s taken me a very long time.
It is also very very long so I’m putting it under a cut. :)
I don’t think this part comes across as condoning torture. But I don’t think it’s quite there in terms of realism. I’m going to go through it and highlight the differences between your scenario and reality, with a couple of suggestions for how to incorporate or work around some of them. I’m also going to try and answer the other questions peppered through this about the effects of torture on torturers and witnesses, types of torture that might work and time frames/physical limitations.
There’s a lot to cover so this is going to get long.
So the first thing that’s coming to mind is that this sort of set isn’t how legally defined torture happens in reality. And I think it’d be useful for me to outline the differences now because all the research I have on torturers is from legally defined torturers who operate in these ways. The same things might not apply to your character.
For starters organisations that torture actively screen out people who seem to want to torture. Anyone with marked sadistic tendencies usually isn’t let in. Neither is anyone with a noticeable mental illness. These organisations see people like that as a risk. They see them as disruptive and disobedient. So they screen them out and then pressure the people they’ve let in to torture.
The second major difference I’m seeing is time frames. Legally defined torturers are usually spending a substantial period of every day torturing. They don’t have a break from violence. It is almost constant in their daily lives for…..years. Abusers and a lot of violent criminals on the other hand are not usually committing violent acts for such a prolonged period, every day for years on end.
And that probably makes a difference to the effects on mental health for both groups.
There’s also the general set up- So the way he’s picking up victims at random and the scale of it with multiple victims at a time is very in keeping with the sorts of scenarios common in legally defined torture. But I’m not sure how sustainable that is with one torturer. The kind of organisation that I’d expect to operate in this general way would have hundreds, possibly thousands of members. You’re talking an entire army camp, the police force for a whole city, a massive hospital. The kind of place that would have dedicated on site cleaners and cooks, a host of ordinary members and probably at least half a dozen torturers if not more.
Generally legally defined torturers concentrate intensely on one victim for a period of about 2-3 days after they’re brought in and to a lesser extent for the next 1-2 weeks. After that they tend to loose interest and leave the victim alone for longer periods. That doesn’t seem to be what you’re going for. The impression I get is that this character is keeping up that first day intensity for multiple victims at a time over a prolonged period- until the victim dies. And well that’s just not physically possible for one person. It’s too physically exhausting and time consuming to keep up that long.
The differences for that last point are the easiest to change in the narrative.
I think there a couple of ways you could go with it- The one that seems most true to the scenario you’ve outlined is to shorten the lifespan of the victims and have this happening in spurts. Which I think is more in keeping with the behaviour of studied serial killers. (I am not an expert on serial killers and most of the reading I did on them was when I was around 12. Even if those sources were good sources they’d be outdated at this point).
Essentially rather than have the character constantly have victims that they’re devoting a lot of time to- have these kidnappings happen in short bursts. So the character kidnaps say, a maximum of 5 people at a time (I think 3 is a more realistic number) and spends anywhere from a week to three weeks torturing them to death one after another. The character then goes into a ‘rest’ period where he doesn’t go after anyone for a month or more.
The victim characters might be captive for a month, possibly longer if he takes breaks between victims or goes into a rest period before murdering all his captives. But they won’t be continuously tortured for that period of time.
This scenario would depend on other people doing the hard work of actually keeping these victims alive; ie feeding them, cleaning the areas they’re kept in. This means a support staff of somewhere between 3-10 people. I’d suggest going for a higher number.
Characterising techniques that are more likely to be lethal as ‘worse’ or ‘crueler’ really isn’t a good idea. Torture is torture and everyone experiences pain differently. Trying to rank things as better or worse does victims a disservice and it’s often used to dismiss the experiences of survivors who don’t have obvious physical scars. That’s the majority of torture survivors.
I class torturous execution methods as torture. Whether the law does depends on the broader context and motivation of the murder. Legally speaking torture is something done by an organisation. In most places that means government bodies or armed groups holding territory but in some countries the definition includes certain large organised criminal groups. The motive is also defined as; for information, to force a confession, to intimidate the victim, to intimidate other groups or as punishment for something the victim/other groups have done.
This character isn’t acting on behalf of his government or a larger organisation. He also doesn’t seem to fit most of the defined motivations, though an argument might be made for intimidation. Legally speaking in our world he isn’t a torturer. If you want your world to have a different legal definition I don’t think there’s a problem with that but you should think carefully about how you end up defining it and who gets cut out.
Scarring tortures aren’t necessarily more painful or more likely to be lethal. I’m interpreting this ask as- talking about things like vivisection or breaking on the wheel. Things that are lethal but may take a long time to actually kill.
Given that context and the stipulation for ‘hands on’ violence I can suggest a couple of things. Given the length of the ask I think I’m going to have be brief here though:
Breaking on the wheel: systematically breaking the bones in major limbs working inwards from the extremities
Disembowelling: cutting through the skin and muscle to expose the gut and leaving it exposed
Flaying: removal of large portions of skin
Immolation: burning the majority of the body
Vivisection: dissection while the victim is alive and conscious
Repeated cutting using hundred of shallow injuries
There are a great many other forms of torturous executions. I’ve stuck to things that can leave the victim alive for days afterwards even though they can’t be saved (without magic or sci fi tech). I’ve also stuck with things that…. keep the torturer physically close to the victim and can take an extended period of time.
This would have a profound and traumatising effect on witnesses. The research we have suggests that witnessing these kinds of acts can radicalise people. Someone who was willing to ‘compromise’ and work with the character before could very quickly become strongly opposed to them. It encourages dissent and outright attacks.
If the ‘staff’ here are allowed to leave then there’d be a very high staff turnover. People would leave in droves. And a lot of those people might go on to form a base of dissent in society generally.
If they can’t- then the staff are all going to start showing symptoms of trauma. Spacing these attacks out the way I’ve suggested- it would probably take longer then it would for real world torturers. But I’d say that within three months all of them would have a noticeable mental health problem.
The list of common symptoms is over here.
You’ve got multiple characters so I’d suggest picking a range of different symptoms. These symptoms would impact on their ‘work’ as well as their health. I think self harm and suicide among the staff would be common. If they’re forced to remain then I think active confrontational resistance would be too, especially if a significant portion of them are suicidal or self harming.
Regardless of whether the staff are free to leave or not I think most characters staying in this situation, with direct contact with victims, for a significant period of time (a month) is likely to have some sort of mental health problem. Characters at a greater remove, ie those that don’t see victims, may have a little longer but I think even then they’re likely to be traumatised quite quickly.
As for the character himself-
Honestly this is not how I’d characterise a torturer. It sounds much closer to a person ordering torture without witnessing it. It sounds like torturing divorced from the trauma it induces.
It isn't the insistence that this is 'helping' him. Or the way he's doubling down on the subject of violence. It's the apathy.
None of the symptoms classically associated with torture cause apathy. The idea here seems to be that he’s doing bad things because he doesn’t or can’t care about people. Which seems to be leaning in to the idea that torturers hurt people because they’re mentally ill rather than torture causing their mental illnesses.
We’re pretty sure that the reality is that way round for a couple of reasons. Firstly, most organisations that torture actively screen out mentally ill people. Secondly we know that witnessing violence can be traumatising and repeatedly witnessing it increases the chances of developing a mental illness. That’s from studies of people with PTSD and studies of survivors from wars, genocide and famine. Thirdly the anecdotal accounts of both torturers and their relatives/friends back up the idea that most of them were healthy before they started torturing and became severely mentally ill afterwards.
I’m not sure how much the differences between legally defined torturers and your character would affect this but- If this story was happening over years then even on the somewhat slower time frame I’ve suggested I think this character would be ill. I think the chances are he’d be traumatised and would be prone to exactly the same symptoms as his victims.
Showing that means changes but I think you’ve got space to decide how big those changes are.
You could keep the character exactly as he is but rather than have him torture people directly have him coerce others into doing the actual torturing. I think that could fit with your scenario generally pretty well. It could help explain why their hasn’t been some sort of uprising against him: he’s shifting the blame on to others and silencing people by making them culpable too. It also fits with the social position you’ve given him and the implied need for control over others.
I think it fits with the idea of him ‘taking people apart’ as well. For instance say he picks out someone he wants to pressure into torturing a victim and the target is a family man. So the character uses the target’s family as part of that coercion process ‘Do exactly what I tell you and I’ll never go near your family. But if you don’t your children will go missing.’ If the character has done something like this before he’ll know there’s a high chance his target will be traumatised and develop a severe mental illness. Coupled with guilt and a lack of explanation the sudden change could easily destroy someone’s family life.
Another possibility is modifying the character.
There are a couple of ways you could take that. One is using an outside perspective of this character, having the character say that they get a ‘high’ from this abuse, that they ‘need’ it and that they’re ‘apathetic’. At the same time show that the character is…. not apathetic and not getting high from a traumatising and physically exhausting campaign of sustained abuse.
Pick some symptoms out and show those symptoms. While you have the character saying something completely different and possibly having other characters believe those statements.
It would be perfectly in keeping with the behaviour of torturers for your character to….put forward an explanation for their actions that’s at odds with what they actually do.
You could also try to select a symptom set that makes the character appear apathetic or unemotional to other people. In some people depression and suicidal ideation can appear this way to others, but I think it’s important to stress that this isn’t actually apathy and it doesn’t make people violent. It also wouldn’t get better with exposure to violence.
I think if you choose to use that approach then you’d need to be pretty careful about how you handled showing these mental health problems. I’d strongly recommend having good characters with similar mental health issues and symptoms to balance things out.
I think it’s especially important that you disconnect the character’s abuse from any abuse or neglect they suffered as a child. That’s a really poisonous trope, telling survivors of child abuse that’s it’s going to turn them into abusers. Honestly I think the best thing to do there is to get rid of it. Have their parents distant if you like. Have the relationship be bad. But don’t fall into that trope. It’s really bad for survivors.
OK- what have missed?
I don’t see anything unrealistic about the character consuming bits of their victims. Though uh you may want to look up prion diseases because I think they’re more common among people who routinely engage in cannibalism. (Fun Fact: Russian makes a linguistic distinction between cannibalism of bodies that were already dead and murdering someone to eat them.)
I also don’t think there’s a problem with your character having no remorse for their crimes. This is anecdotal but- when torturers do express remorse it seems to be entirely in the context of negative effects their actions have had on them and their life, rather than any appreciation of what the victims went through. They lack insight into their crimes.
So having the character carry on with no regret, regard the victims as worthless or only really good for the torturer’s gratification- that’s possible and I don’t think there are any problems with making that choice here.
Wrapping this part of the question up- So far as I can tell your main concern is unfounded. I don’t think this is showing torture as ‘OK’ in any sense.
It’s also not that unusual for people generally not to combat a high ranking individual who tortures. The witnesses, victims and the relatives of victims are all likely to oppose this individual. But people who are not directly affect by torture in this society may well view it as too much of a risk. People at higher levels of society may consider themselves ‘safe’ from the abuse, think that it doesn’t matter if ‘commoners’ are hurt and materially profit from the torturer remaining in the high social position he occupies.
But there are areas where this significantly departs from the reality of torture. And some of those departures come with some unfortunate implications.
I strongly recommend changing some of the central aspects of the torturer so that this doesn’t suggest mental illness drives people to violent behaviour.
The suggestions for changing the set up; I don’t think there are any unfortunate implications tied up with the way you’re picturing things now. It’s about trying to figure out what’s practical for the sort of setting you’re aiming for. Similarly I don’t think there are unfortunate implications in the way you’re dealing with witnesses and coerced ‘helpers’ now, but appreciating the symptoms they’re likely to have and the effect it’s likely to have is more realistic and I think it adds to your story.
I hope this helps. :) I’ll get the next part up as soon as I can.
Disclaimer
#tw torture#tw self harm#tw suicide#effects of torture#writing witnesses#writing torturers#effects of torture on torturers#effects of torture on witnesses#effects of torture on society#torturer and organisations#legal definitions#mental illness#tw ableism#resistance#how societies allow torture
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1️⃣🏃♂️💣 for the asks?
1️⃣ What’s the first fandom you ever participated in online?
Like a lot of folks my age, it was Harry Potter. I'm a perfect fit into that very specific subset of younger millennials that's been nicknamed "The New Bratpack," referencing Miley, Selena, Justin, Nick, Ariana, Timothy, and a number of young male actors and artists whose popularity has spiked enough to give him press coverage, until he does something dumb and and just fades away, as a revival of "Original Bratpack" wide group-recognition Matt Dillon, Tom Cruise, Patrick Swayze, Ralph Maccio, Rob Lowe, and a many others who have made Hollywood shine for the past four or five decades.
All of that might be jumbled, but this, people who started attending school in the year 2000, after spending birth through 1999 raised without much encombus, at home, with a family. Schools had just introduced a new special activity, "Computer Lab," (during which a "technology educator" and a teacher would show the students the bells and whistles of Windows 1998, then keep everyone from putting misspelled profanity at the top of their word documents, because they hadn't learned to use the backspace key yet. Anxious children would cry out for help, and devious ones would pester their friends to ask if "the F-word" ended with a C or a K.)
My bio family got one of those white Gateway boxy things when I was 5-ish, and then when I was 12-ish they replaced it with a laptop and desktop, AND I was now allowed to have my own profile and (loosely monitored) internet access.
Very much true to that spot of a generation, the magic or still-releasing Harry Potter books and, and continuous release of "limited edition" paraphernalia was still a concrete part of, well, everyone I knew's lives. It made making school acquaintances easier. I can be very OCD about my most voracious task of interest of the moment, and memorizing trivia was a hobby of mine.
I'm not going to go back and count the years or do math, but I'm not THAT much younger than Emerson Spartz. By the time extended periods of free internet were allowed, I found MuggleNet, which had just barely spiffed up enough to be a Google recommendation, in addition to becoming navigable for a middle schooler who knew computer skills, up to and including, QWERTY and click-with-mouse.
Once I'd poked around enough to have read all the tabs and verbally debated the guesses for upcoming book subplots (I was way too afraid to leave a comment), I found their fanfiction collection, and I was immediately hooked. I thought it was fun, but there. was probably a glitch in the system. A search term would be run through all data of all text of all files, of all stories of the site. I have some buzzwords. They haven't changed much over the years.
At 12ish I was reading fanfic a few times a week. By age 16 I was hand-writing or making shitty (ha, windows 98, remember?) typed stories that I'd print out and just hide in my room. I just got onto AO3 a little bit before starting my blog, making me a full adult before I hit the "publish" key.
🏃♂️ What/s your longest running fandom you still have interest in?
I love Titain A.E., which is a very underrated 20th Century Fox animated film released in the summer of 2000. It's a StarWars-type adventure/mild thriller, definitely PG (kid friendly, but the plot's intricate and there's some canon-typical violence), it really hit the ball out of the park for me. Yes, I believe it is now a Disney pawn, since the mouse in whiteface is carrying on with throwing cash, and grinning at the knowledge of the outcome of the next slippery deal, but it's been long forgotten.
After a disappointing theater run, someone let dust gather on the cover of the original notebook. Characters voiced by Matt Damon and Drew Barrymore, pushed together by fate, must continue to survive in the midst of an inter-species war as they search for a hidden method to restore Earth, all whilst overcoming the obstacles of their post-apocalyptic cyberpunk environment and keeping an eye out for enemies, which may not be where they're expected...
Ok, that sells, right? And the soundtrack is amazing (even if it's a smidge dated, but that underscores the cyberpunk vibe nicely as well)--Lit's Over My Head is a big feature.
The three main characters in the film are all humans in an alien-dominated environment, and they come from drastically different backgrounds. There are three scenes dispersed along the plotline where each of the three characters are wounded/sedated/receiving medical treatment/engaging in field medicine... And with the three characters also having huge potential for the filling in of missing moments and little opportunities of added H/C, one can take things in a lot of different ways, and with a lot of freedom to create complementary backstory.
💣 Have you ever been a part of a fandom during what might be considered a major fandom event?
...No... Not, like, a con. Though I'd love to attend a comicon.
But I have done, oh, eight or so, midnight releases over the stretch of my teens. And a few book parties. Though those, at least in the geographical area in which I grew up, meant that maybe 20 or 30 people would walk aimlessly around Borders (remember when those stores existed???) whilst trying to wave at the news van with its high beams on before it backs out of the gridlock of the parking lot.
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Survey 3
Be honest with yourself, are you proud of your actions? Uh, generally I suppose. Have you ever had an operation? Wisdom teeth and I had surgery on my foot when I was 18 Favorite sit-down restaurant? Theres a couple sports bars my Husband and I love going to close by! What have you eaten today? Nothing, just some coffee so far
Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week? My husband, he always makes me laugh If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be? Probably like a line or even like...a dot lol that would work, right? Didn’t say it had to be a design! What is something you find romantic? Writing little notes to each other What is your style? Anything comfortable. I’ve never cared about fashion trends If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? Standing in line to vote >< I like getting up and getting stuff done but my Husband is the opposite and he’s still sleeping. But we’ll go when he gets up What is the best movie you have ever seen? I’m not sure, I like a lot of movies but mostly comedy What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? He makes me feel really safe, he’s rational and has a good head on his shoulders, makes me laugh and he’s genuinely a good person How long was your longest relationship? 12 years and still going strong :) Why did your last relationship end? Distance - my ex was stationed in Hawaii with the Navy and that distance was too much for us. It worked out though, I met the love of my life and he met his wife shortly after we broke up! Would you rather live in a castle or a spaceship? Castle I suppose Have you ever felt unimportant in someone’s life? Yes and we’re not friends anymore. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No. Did you have any unread texts this morning? Nope Who was the last person you were “in a relationship with” on Facebook (including anyone you may have put “in a relationship with” for a joke)? I don’t use FB Do you think a relationship with a 16-year-old girl and a 35-year-old man would work out? Do you think age differences like that (when they’re under 18) should be legal? Are you fucking kidding me? What pedophile wrote this survey and can we have him arrested thanks. <------ABSOLUTELY AGREE. WTF. Were you ever “the other man/woman”? How did it turn out? How do you feel about it today? Kind of? A different ex and I kissed after we broke up and he was in a new relationship with someone else. It happened one time but I don’t know if he told her - they didn’t last too long anyway (and this was over 15 years ago) What do you think of open relationships? If your partner suggested it, what would you say? We’re both against it Would you ever date out of your race? I have before Who were you with yesterday? My husband, and Mother-in-Law/Father-In-Law Have you ever had a reptile for a pet? Yes! We had a couple iguanas when I was younger What time do you have to get up tomorrow? No specific time but I like getting up early Have you ever kissed anyone with a tattoo? Yes, a couple people. How long have you been with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Been together 12 years, married for 2 What kinds of alcohol do you like? Mostly lighter craft beers - my favorite one right now for Autumn is ShipYard Pumpkin Head. I also like Shandys - Like Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy. But I also like Daiquiris/Pina Coladas - specifically them mixed together called “Miami Vice” :) Did you have a swing set when you were a kid? Yes, but it got super old and rickety so my parents brought it to the dump a while ago Can you do the alphabet in sign language? I used to be able to but I’ve been meaning to learn it again Is the person you last kissed yours? Yes :) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating? Uh yes, very very easily. Have you ever been so hurt that you wanted to stop feeling completely? Oh definitely, but that was years ago State you most want to visit? I would like to visit the states in the North East What is a book that you really want to read? I have so many on my “to read” list - mostly sci-fi/fantasy books. But I need to get through the last book of Wheel of Time first. What brand was the last lotion that you used? I don’t use lotion What color is your underwear? Multi-colored :) mostly blues, greens and purples What was the last type of cookie that you ate? I don’t remember, I haven’t had a cookie in a long time If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? In our new house! We’re having one built - it was supposed to be done in April 2022 but because of the world right now, there have been a ton of delays. HOWEVER! They officially started clearing the land last week!!! We’ll probably be moving into it in Feb/March 2023. - As a side note: We’re currently living with my in-laws until they finish it and it has NOT been easy - I’m ‘extremely grateful for them letting us live here as its allowed us to save up money for the downpayment.
What genre was the last song you listened to? Video game soundtrack What sort of surveys catch your interest and which ones bore you? Ones with fun questions, more of “getting to know me/interests”. I don’t like ones that make me think of how horrible the world is, if that makes sense. What books do you usually enjoy reading and which do you not enjoy? I LOVE reading. I mostly read sci-fi/fantasy books. I’m currently on Book 14 of Wheel of Time. Theres a lot of different types of books that don’t interest me >< What is something that you really want to try, whether it’s a hobby, food, etc.? I would love to cook more but I’ll do that when we have the house. Or knitting/crocheting but again...when we have a house...mostly anything i want to do, we gotta wait until we have our house >< What websites do you frequent most often? Tumblr is my top favorite social media site, I also like Reddit and Twitter - as long as I stay away from the political side of those sites If you could go back in time, would you prefer to go forward or backward? Back - there are a few small things we’d do differently like buy a house a long time ago! Had we known some stuff we know now, we’d probably have a house and children by now :/ Post a link to the last video you watched online. I’m not going to post a link but I’m currently watching the most recent Amazing Race episode on CBS’s website Is there anything bothering you at the moment? Eh, not really What color was the last shirt you wore? I’m wearing a dark blue shirt now What sort of things do you like to post or look at on Tumblr? Video games, anime, animals/insects, science stuff, wrestling gifs, fan art and fan fiction...I have a very long list of interests so my main blog if full of all sorts of random things lol What scent was the last candle you burned? Scented candles give me headaches :/ What type of people are you usually attracted to? Anyone who can make me laugh Do you collect anything? If so, what? Video games. I have a pretty large physical game collection that I’m always adding to! and I can’t wait to have my entire collection displayed when we have our house! When you look to your left, what is the first thing you see? What about the right? Left: my husband sleeping on the bed. Right: a wall What room are you currently in? Our bedroom What color are the walls/floor? Walls are like a creamy beige? The floor is tannish? What color is the last blanket you used? Dark blue What do you smell like right now? Nothing in particular, my shampoo I guess? If it was possible to celebrate a holiday everyday, which would you choose? Ahh, I’m not sure?? If you could compare yourself to a celebrity or character, who would it be? I feel like I’d be Nyneave from Wheel of Time - she’s my favorite character Which male celebrities do you find attractive? Paul Rudd like never ages! Also Henry Cavil
Which female celebrities do you find attractive? I honestly cannot think of any at the moment. I don’t pay too much attention to celebrities If you could marry one of your favorite celebrities and have a happy relationship until the end of your days, who would it be? Lol Henry Cavil - watching him put together that gaming computer?? *swoon* What song are you listening to at the moment? Its some annoying commercial What is currently on your desk? Handful of things: wireless keyboard/mouse for my desktop computer, I’m typing on my laptop, a Galaxy-themed large mouspad, cup of coffee (in a Stardew Valley mug my husband bought me for my bday), comb, and my phone What brand is your computer? Laptop is HP, desktop I’m not sure as my Husband helped me build it How often do you take naps and how long do they usually last? I never take naps unless I’m sick Which season do you wish lasted all year? Wish Autumn lasted a bit longer! I live in FL so its pretty much always Summer :/ What is the last part of your body that itched? My arm Is there anything that you should be doing right now? Nothing in particular, just wasting time until I wake my husband up to go vote then go visit our house to see where the progress is :) Is there anything you’re craving right now? I’m kinda hungry so I’ll probably eat something after this Do you prefer regular or flavored coffee? What about regular or flavored creamer? I just use heavy whipping cream as a creamer. I’m pretty specific about coffee I drink like I can’t drink artificial flavor creamers because they just taste chemically to me >< How do you take your tea? Hot with honey
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lmao not surprising but the “download your data” tumblr feature is terrible, LARGE post below about how abysmal it is below, but to summarize the “Download your blog!” feature from Tumblr:
- the .zip structure is questionable to begin with - messages are somewhat manageable if you search explicitly, but are mostly useless for going back to old conversations to reminisce if that’s your thing - the posts xml is massive and almost completely useless, still links to tumblr for almost everything such as images - there is an .html for every single post on your blog, with no way to view all at once or in pages similar to your blog, a stylesheet is referenced but not included - most images that are referenced in the post htmls are not linked to the media in the download, but are still linked back to tumblr making them useless if tumblr goes offline
EDIT: just found out the link to download the archive isn’t authenticated, so if you somehow obtained the link to my blog archive, you could download that yourself. nice!
first up is the terrible archive design, why do you zip posts separately from the media? now I have to extract the 40gb data zip (used this site for 6 years now, i have 60,000+ posts), then the 50mb posts zip which contains over 60,000 individual files and does not take an insignificant amount of time to extract
so 10 minutes later after the main 40gb archive is extracted, you have \media which contains every image you’ve ever reblogged but it has this great feature where sometimes it has a single photo post’s image once, but then it duplicates it with the same filename with _0 afterwards
it’s not trivial to determine the amount of space wasted because of this because it’s the same filename format as photosets, but it’s definitely a lot
let’s take a look at the messages xml. to start, xml is a really really bad format to provide to your users if they want to read anything, but it’s okay for another service to import. on that note, no service is going to import your messages, so a generated html page would be much better. it wouldn’t really be bad though for reading if they actually put any thought into the xml, though:
a nice 12-line, 397,000 character xml file! perfectly readable.
the longest line is 180,000 columns, which is cool
Posts XML:
does what it says on the tin - it offers you a list of your posts, in a completely unreadable and almost unusable format due to the fact that it links back to tumblr. the entire point of downloading your data is to offer the ability to have a living copy of your data, removed from the context of the service or for import to another service... not only is this unreadable and useless to the user, it’s useless to any other blogging platform because it still uses tumblr. if tumblr goes down - all of your migrated posts are gone as well. a site could mirror them themselves but that is a really bad solution depending on the size and content of the blog.
for the .html files, i took a look at a post that i know of to compare from my dev tag on here. while i cant put in a screenshot of the whole thing, i can analyze it.
images that are added as a part of the photo post that i made appear to be linked to the photo within the media folder in the downloaded blog archive, but posts within the text portion (like all of the images in here) link back to tumblr which makes the html files, again, almost practically unusable in the case that tumblr goes under.
for the record, the “linking to the local files and not tumblr” appears to only occur on posts you’ve made? this reblog does not do it:
one cool feature is that all of the html files link to a nonexistent stylesheet in the directory above:
and even cooler than that, tags don’t have visible separation unless you check the source, making it even more difficult to read:
(to rectify this, i attempted to use my blog’s css as the style.css because i assumed the html tags were the same, and it did not perform any better)
i wanted to make sure i wasn’t missing something when it came to local/hosted files, so i did a search in the html folder’s file contents for a gif i found:
didn’t find the gif in any html files, so i took a look at the post:
aaaaaand it links to tumblr still.
so to recap, you can download all of your data from tumblr, but: - the .zip structure is questionable to begin with - messages are somewhat manageable if you search explicitly, but are mostly useless for going back to old conversations to reminisce if that’s your thing - the posts xml is massive and almost completely useless, still links to tumblr for almost everything such as images - there is an .html for every single post on your blog, with no way to view all at once or in pages similar to your blog, a stylesheet is referenced but not included - most images that are referenced in the post htmls are not linked to the media in the download, but are still linked back to tumblr making them useless if tumblr goes offline
on the flip side, there are some good things. the archive does include the images that it links to tumblr for. they are not missing from the archive, but they are just not used by the rest of the archive. you still get that data. in addition, the posts xml contains a ton of data on each post, such as timestamps, tags, post type, post id, etc. at this point i’d say if they included the blog title in a reblog in posts.xml it’d be a win.
in comparison, both Google Takeout and Facebook’s download service - provide a main .html to navigate data - categorize data based on source or type - provide an INTERFACE to looking through the data in the form of webpages
as a quick example, this is the root of the directory of a Facebook download:
this is the “friends” folder:
this is the friends html:
and that’s just ONE of a ridiculous amount of formatted, good-looking, usable .html files for you to look at your data in. tumblr can do SO much better.
#long post#staff pls#tumblr#impromptu post about the ridiculousness of this zip i finally took a look at
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Get to know me tag! (300 followers)
Because I recently got to 300 followers, I decided to post a little get to know me tag!
I thought of doing some more stuff for my 300, but I’m already on my way to 400 because somehow more people keep following me? Why?? So I guess I’ll do some more stuff at 400
For now I would just like to thank some people (who you should all follow) for always helping me, talking to me, or sharing my shit :)
@starksparker @parkersstark @thewiseandfree @addictionmarvel @upsidedownparker @h-osterfield @bisexualparkerr
And did you know I have another blog just for Marvel stuff, and not just Harrison? It’s over at @hazownsmymarvel If you wanna check it out that would be nice :)
I just got these questions from a random site, and I don’t expect anyone to really care about the answers, but apparently over 300 people care enough about my shit that they follow me so here goes!
Are you a morning or night person? Definitely a night person. I can’t do shit in the morning except sleep.
Are you afraid of the dark? Kind of? Like I won’t just get absolutely terrified if it gets dark, but I don’t feel comfortable.
Are you an extrovert or introvert? More of an extrovert. I like talking to people, and talking to strangers isn’t a big problem for me, but I like to have my alone time.
Are you double jointed? No ew (no offense but it kinda creeps me out)
Are you left or right handed? I am right handed
Are you more of a tidy person or a messy one? Messy AF. You should see my desk when it’s ‘tidied up’
Are you on time or always late? I’m always on time when it’s actually important, like school or if I need to catch a train. If it’s not that important, I’m always pretty late.
Are you ticklish? Hell yeah
Can you curl your tongue? Yep (totally had to check that)
Can you ice skate? FUCK NO. Everyone does it every winter where I come from, and we always went with school on the last day before Christmas break, but I am fucking terrible at it. I don’t even want to learn it though so I never set a foot on the ice. The last three years I haven’t even put on skates.
Can you wiggle your ears? Not willingly. Like they can wiggle at certain moments but they just do that on their own.
Coffee or tea? Tea all the way.
Cookies, cake or donuts? Cake
Did you ever participate in a talent show? Nope, because I’m not talented lol
Did you go to prom? We don’t have that here :/
Did you like school? Yes and no. Some parts were great, like my friends and certain teachers, and some parts were horrible, like homework and certain other teachers.
Do you believe in ghosts? No, but I won’t deny their existence if I see one.
Do you bite your nails? Nah
Do you consider yourself a good cook? I get by (I seriously just accidently typed bi) but you don’t want me to cook for you.
Do you enjoy dancing? If no one’s looking yeah, or if I’m a little tipsy
Do you enjoy DIY or crafts? I haven’t done anything like that in years, because everything I make with my hands winds up looking like a 4 year old made it oops
Do you forgive easily? Very easily. I believe everyone deserves multiple chances, and deserves redemption. I could even forgive Thanos some day if he really changed his ways.
Do you have a nickname? My friends call me whore (in a loving way)
Do you have any allergies? No but I recently had a weird reaction to what we thought to be a musquito bite, but I haven’t had anything like it before, or since.
Do you have any phobias? I have a fear of missing out, and a fear of not doing enough. I feel like I want to do and become everything I can in the world but there isn’t enough time in life and I have a hard time accepting that.
Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Nope
Do you have children? Nope, but shoutout to all parents out there who try
Do you have pets? I have a goldfish :)
Do you have siblings? I have 2 sisters
Do you prefer dogs or cats? DOGS
Do you prefer Mac or PC? PC
Do you prefer the beach or the mountains? Beach anyday
Do you prefer to bath or shower? I haven’t had a bath in years because we only have a shower, so I honestly don’t know
Do you sing in the shower? When no one’s home, I sometimes hum or sing softly
Do you smoke? No, and I think it’s really disgusting if someone smokes. Like, it’s your choice of course, but you ain’t coming near me with that.
Do you speak any different languages? I speak Dutch and English, I can understand some German and speak a little too, but hardly.
Do you still have your wisdom teeth? They weren’t pulled, but not everyone gets them right?
Do you still watch cartoons? Hell yeah. Both Avatar cartoons are still some of the best things to come to this earth.
Do you/have you played any sports? I used to do archery
Does your name have a special meaning? Nope, my parents just liked it.
Have you ever been hospitalized? Not where I actually had to stay or anything. All my hospital visits were ‘voluntarily’
Have you ever been on a diet? Nope
Have you ever been to a concert? I’ve never bought tickets to go to a specific concert but I went to a festival which had several major concerts.
Have you ever gone camping? Yeah and I hate it ugh
Have you ever met any celebrities? I saw Steven Moffat having dinner with his wife ones, but his wife looked at me like she did not want me to disturb them, so I left them to eat in peace.
Have you ever skipped class? Yeah, but in classes where I knew I wouldn’t get in trouble.
Have you ever won something? Probably? Can’t think of anything big now
Have you had braces? Yeah and they were awful.
How are you feeling right now? I’m alright, but my fingers are getting tired from writing all these answers.
How tall are you? 1.92 m (6′3.5″)
If money were no object what would you get for your next birthday? A house, because I want to move out but finding an affordable place here is near impossible.
If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? London probably. Or Brooklyn, or Amsterdam.
Were you ever a scout or a brownie? No? What’s a brownie? Other than a treat.
What city were you born in? Amsterdam
What did you last eat? Mac and Cheese
What did you want to be when you were younger? Everything really. From a physicist to a policeman to an astronaut.
What do you do on a typical Friday night? I’m at home most nights because of school, but now that school’s finished I might go out more :)
What is one food that you refuse to eat? Chicory
What is one item on your bucket list? Meet Harrison
What is one item you can’t live without? My phone
What is your shoe size? EU: 43 US: 9.5-10
What movie have you watched repeatedly? Captain Americ: Civil War
What phone do you have (Apple or Android)? Android. It’s an LG, but I need a new one.
What should you be doing right now? Writing a job application
What’s one goal you would like to accomplish this year? Come out to my mum and my sisters.
What’s one of your pet peeves? Tourists that don’t appear to understand the concept of sidewalks.
What’s the last song you’ve listened to? Does soundtrack count? I’m listening to ‘Charge!’ by Alan Silvestri as I’m writing this answer.
What’s the most expensive item of clothing that you own? I honestly have no idea. I don’t remember how much everything is worth, because it’s all pretty cheap. I guess my coat is more expensive than the rest but coats are always more expensive.
What’s the thing you can’t leave the house without? My phone, again. I’m helpless without it.
What’s your best physical feature? I like that I tan pretty easily
What’s your Chinese sign? I’m a dragon
What’s your current obsession? Marvel, but that’s not new.
What’s your dream car? I don’t really know, but most sports cars are really awesome
What’s your favourite animal? Penguins and dogs
What’s your favourite book? I haven’t really read books for fun in a long time, so I don’t think I have a single favourite book, but all Harry Potter’s are great.
What’s your favourite colour? Dark blue or dark green
What’s your favourite dessert? Tiramisu is incredible when done right
What’s your favourite drink? Non-alcoholic: Fanta Alcoholic: Vodka
What’s your favourite food? Pizza
What’s your favourite foreign food? Pizza is technically foreign
What’s your favourite gadget? My smartphone is my everything
What’s your favourite hobby? Is Netflix a hobby? Then Netflix. If not, it’s anything to do with film.
What’s your favourite movie? Captain America: Civil War, or Wall-E
What’s your favourite restaurant? Well it’s a small place that’s just a stand alone business, so probably none of you know it because it’s like 200 m form my house haha
What’s your favourite sandwich? I don’t eat sandwiches all that often
What’s your favourite season? Summer
What’s your favourite series? Doctor who is the best
What’s your favourite snack? Crisps
What’s your favourite sport to watch? Figure skating
What’s your favourite thing to have for breakfast? I usualy have toast but I prefer a fried egg with bacon.
What’s your full name? Wouldn’t you like to know?
What’s your longest relationship so far? Not even a month lol
What’s your lucky number? I don’t really have one? 8 is nice I guess. Or 12.
What’s your star sign? I’m a libra
When is your birthday? The 24th of september
Which city did you grow up in? Amsterdam
Which city do you live in now? Amsterdam
Who do you miss right now? Clara Oswald <3
Who is your celebrity crush? Harrison Osterfield of course
Who’s your favourite fictional character? Clara Oswald <3
That’s it! Thanks for following me, and I love you :)
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