#this is the last new work i'm posting for the countdown!!

[roomwithanopenfire]

Day 28 - Snowed In

Title: If I didn’t love you, it would be fine

Rating: Teen and Up

Word Count: 1k

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Pre-Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Snow, Sharing a Bed, One Shot

Summary: Baz and Simon have been always been friends and now there's a blizzard leaving them trapped inside their dorm. When Baz can't get warm, who does he turn too?

Read on AO3

@carryon-countdown

[rahullkohli]

please help me pay for my dad's funeral

i decided it was easier to make a new post. please reblog. i appreciate it so much.

on december 20th my dad passed away, after i had been caring for him for a year and a half with his heath becoming progressively worse over these past couple of months. he had absolutely no money at all, as he was disabled in several ways. i have three sisters but only one of them have been helping me with caring for him, and we just don't have any money either. my sister is doing random temp jobs in pre-schools because that's all she's been able to get, and i am disabled myself and can't work.

on december 27th we had a small ceremony in the hospital chapel with only the closest family present, and afterwards we went to my sister's for coffee and i had baked my dad's favorite cake. we are incredibly to have found a very sweet and empathetic funeral arranger (english not my first language i'm sorry) who has been very understanding of our financial situation.

but even the most economic of death aftercare is highly pricey. the price for her services has come to 12,000 danish kroner but that's not including a headstone which we don't even have a price for yet but it looks like several thousand on top of that along with fees for having the urn put in the ground, and there's also obligatory court fees for estate settlement that i don't even know about yet because the beaurocracy is slow and i am fumbling in the dark here doing all of this on my own and i have to be so damn practical in handling the literal worst thing in my entire life.

i will spare my rambling. so far from my last post so many lovely people have reblogged and given lovely donations and so many kind words, but at this point donations amount to about 1300 danish kroner, which is just a drop in the bucket, and i am so ashamed to have to go online begging for help to do this, but i don't know what else to do.

i would do the whole countdown to show how much i need and how much has already been donated but at this point i genuinely don't even know how much the final cost will be but it's looking like at least 16,000 danish kroner.

even if you can't donate reblogging is so appreciated thank you so much and i am so sorry

please donate to my ko-fi

[bunkoos-mole-enthusiast]

Weekly Jungkook Fanfic Recs

Some fine JK fics for your reading pleasure. 🔞 Please show your appreciation to all the wonderful authors:)

Golden Cufflinks: You’ve never given much thought to finding your true mate, firmly believing it’s something that will happen when it happens. But, when you do find him—thanks to a pair of golden cufflinks—it very well could ruin everything. They say not all’s fair in love and war; you just hadn’t expected your best friend’s wedding to be the battleground. https://colormepurplex2.tumblr.com/post/766335488954138624/golden-cufflinks-jjk Confined: Y/n didn't think testing out a new sex toy would cause so much havoc but no worries, her next-door neighbor Jungkook doesn't mind lending her a bit of assistance. https://www.tumblr.com/cravetive/742183386711539712/%F0%9D%97%96%F0%9D%97%A2%F0%9D%97%A1%F0%9D%97%99%F0%9D%97%9C%F0%9D%97%A1%F0%9D%97%98%F0%9D%97%97 Show Me Something: He was your first kiss years ago, only to become your first heartbreak the next day. Your life would have been much easier if only you would forget about him and move on, instead of having to see him almost every day because your best friend had fallen in love with his best friend. When your pal had suggested having a road trip for the final days of summer break before going back to campus, you said yes for a reprieve. Too bad she forgot to tell you about the two extra passengers tagging along. One of which is the boy that still has a tight hold of your heart without either of you even knowing it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/30396546 Slow Dancing: When your countdown appeared on your wrist right on the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale. https://archiveofourown.org/works/39615618 Call Me Mistress: "It has certainly been quite the party," you began, taking a stroll around the table to give his friends time to ogle you. "But I'm here for someone else on his special day.” The end of the riding crop snapped suggestively against your open palm and you felt excitement bloom around the large table. “Now, let me see if I can find out which of you is the birthday boy..." A long-term client hires the Mistress to help celebrate his best friend’s birthday. The festivities lead to new business. https://dark-muse-iris.tumblr.com/post/164844332231/call-me-mistress-ramen-m-part-1

Sillage: Soulmate!AU where soulmates are drawn to one another by the infliction of physical touch, whether it be pain or pleasure. But it is only initiated once the two people somewhat interact. https://www.tumblr.com/deerguk/144529213896/s-i-l-l-a-g-e-pt-one The Pink Pill: This pill is essentially a drug that enhances your libido to the max and you’ll quite literally never experience arousal like you do when you’ve taken this pill. Thankfully, in each universe, there’s a man that’s ready to help you explore and reach your peak of sexual euphoria. https://www.tumblr.com/dollfaceksj/723667191148462080/the-pink-pill-jjk-version-m-3-days Reminder: Whenever he flies back into town, your doorbell is the first he rings. When he has to fly out again, your bed is the last he lies in. However, you’re not stupid. You know your ex-boyfriend, that also happens to be an up-and-coming professional boxer, Jeon Jungkook, doesn’t come to you only. Unfortunately, you have no right to be jealous, not when you’re the one that ended the relationship. https://www.tumblr.com/dollfaceksj/721591770571554816/reminder-jjk-m-masterlist Stay: “Jungkook,” His name was merely a sigh flying out of your lungs and through your parted lips. “If we do this - if we go down this road - how do we go back?” https://eoieopda.tumblr.com/post/703940957854449664/stay-jjk

Losers: I get lonely when you're not here, and this darkness appears, leaving me stranded. https://www.tumblr.com/eternalguk/744420253674668032/losers-jjk-m

[storiesforallfandoms]

icdiwabh ~ joseph quinn

word count: 3688

request?: no

description: after finding out that her recently broken up with ex is already in a new relationship, she puts on a happy face for the public. but she can't do the same with him

pairing: joseph quinn x female!reader

warnings: swearing, angsty angst, rpf, use of y/n

based on this song

masterlist (one, two, three)

To give her credit, my best friend and guitarist, Chloe, tried her best to keep me from looking at my phone before our show. And it was working. I didn't even think anything of it, just that we were goofing off before a show as usual.

And then my phone chimed with a text from my mom. She always sent me a good luck text before a show. I unlocked my phone to respond, then saw that my social media notifications were blowing up more than usual.

I shouldn't have looked, but you know what they say about curiosity and the cat.

I opened Twitter to see I was being mentioned a lot. Mainly in replies to other tweets, and most of the tweets were along the lines of, "What happened to @(Y/U/N)?" I clicked on one to see what that context was, and was brought to a tweet from Pop Crave.

"Joseph Quinn photographed on a date with Doja Cat," followed by various photos of my ex-boyfriend getting cozy with another woman.

I felt my heart drop and break into millions of pieces.

I know what you're thinking: why would seeing my ex moving on hurt so much? It's not like we were together. We were both free to see whoever we wanted now. But there were a few reasons this news was upsetting; for one, we had only broken up three months ago, which apparently is around the time when these pictures were taken. Second, Joseph had broken up with me due to the fact that I was a singer, which meant we didn't get to spend as much time together as either of us would've wanted. I understood at the time. I mean, of course the break up still hurt, but I kind of knew it was coming when things between us had felt different the last month or so of our relationship.

Then there was the biggest reason: Doja was the woman he told me not to worry about.

I am not joking.

Joseph and I were together when the whole Doja versus Noah stuff happened online. We both laughed about it at the time, and i had jokingly asked Joseph, "Should I worry about you getting stolen away by Doja Cat?" He had wrapped me in his arms, kissed me, and said of course not.

Obviously, that had changed.

Chloe found me just as the tears started to fall. She was quick to hug me and whisper comforting words.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry," she said. "But we have to get to the stage."

Performing was the last thing on my mind, but I had thousands of fans waiting for me. I couldn't let them down just because I was heartbroken.

I followed Chloe to take my place. I wiped the tears from my eyes, hoping my face wasn't too red or puffy. Our backstage crew passed me my microphone as the countdown for the show to start started in my earpiece. I took a deep, calming breath, pushing everything out of my mind. As the blinding stage lights hit me, I put on my best show smile.

~~~~~~

The next few weeks were tough. I had to go on a full social media hiatus, meaning I deleted all social media apps from my phone to keep myself from seeing any more updates on Joseph and Doja. Chloe took up posting on my accounts so no one suspected anything. We had already decided the best course of action was to ignore the questions and comments, and to pretend like the news didn't even hurt me.

But it did. It hurt me more than any words could ever describe. Having to go on stage two to three nights a week and sing the love songs I wrote about him made it even harder. I struggled to keep it together on stage sometimes. I saved the emotions for when I'd get back to the hotel or the tour bus. Then I'd be able to cry until my eyes hurt and were too heavy to stay awake.

Some nights were sleepless, though. On those nights, I'd usually just lay awake or try to use one of the streaming services on my phone to distract myself. One night, I found myself too hungry to be distracted. My stomach was rumbling enough that I could hardly hear the show I was watching. After some quick Googling, I found a 24 hour diner that seemed like it would be slow enough for me to go without being recgonized.

I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a baggy hoodie with the hood up to cover my face. I put my phone and my hotel room key in my pocket, and left to make my way to the diner.

As I expected, there weren't many people there. Maybe one table with two young ladies sat there, plus the workers. I kept my hood up anyways as I ordered, just in case. The host who took my order did look at me like he may have known who I was, but he didn't say anything.

My plan was to get my food and take it back to the hotel to eat it. But that plan was quickly changed when a familiar British voice said, "(Y/N)?"

I froze. There was no way he was actually here. It had to be a figment of my imagination. A hallucination made up by my misery over the breakup and his quick moving on.

But when I looked up, there he was. He was also in a hoodie and sweatpants, but was doing less to hide his identity. Actually, nothing to hide his identity. I couldn't help but glance around to make sure no one was looking at us or there was no paparazzi that had followed him and started snapping photos.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked, then realized it was a stupid question and winced at myself.

"That's...um...my hoodie."

I looked down and realized that he was right. I hadn't even noticed that I had it, even when I packed it for the tour.

"I was wondering where it went," he said with a little smile.

"Here it is," I said, lamely flourishing my hands. "I'd offer to give it back, but I'm not wearing anything underneath."

I saw him swallow at my comment. I thought I saw a tinge of pink creeping onto his cheeks, but I figured it must've been the lighting or something. There was no way I could still make him blush when he obviously had no feelings for me anymore.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm in town shooting the Fantastic Four movie," he explained. "I just finished a late shoot, so I stopped in for something to eat. What are you doing here?"

"I had a show tonight. I couldn't sleep, and I'm hungry. So..." I did my lame flourish again.

"Oh yes. The post-show adrenaline."

I ground my teeth to keep from saying anything. The weeks of sadness and misery suddenly vanished and became anger. I was angry at him for reminding me that he knew me so well. That we had shared memories on sleepless nights like this. I was also angry that he didn't think our breakup and his quick moving on would be the cause of my sleeplessness. Did he think I didn't know? Or just that I'd be okay with him and his new girlfriend mere weeks after our two year long relationship ended?

I just shrugged in response.

My order was called and I quickly grabbed it. I turned to give Joseph a wave as a goodbye. I needed to get out of there and get back to my hotel room to wallow in my dispair.

But it seemed Joseph had other plans, as he stopped me before I could leave. "Do you want to sit? Maybe...catch up?"

"Is that a good idea?" I asked.

"I don't see why it wouldn't be."

"You don't want your new girlfriend to see paparazzi photos of you with your ex."

There, it was finally out. No more tiptoeing around the topic.

It seemed to have its desired effect as Joseph was now awkwardly shuffling. He rubbed the back of his neck, which was now undoubtably turning pink. "So, you've heard."

"Of course I heard!" I snapped. I glanced around again, realizing I was raising my voice. "Your pictures are everywhere, and I'm being tagged in them cause we never told everyone we had broken up."

"I'm sorry you had to find out that way."

I scoffed. "How else was I going to find out? Were you going to call me and tell me you were dating the girl you said wasn't a threat to our relationship?"

He sighed. Before he could say anything else, they called that another order was ready, and evidently it was his. It was also packed in a to go bag, so he clearly had no intentions of staying either. With any luck, he'd drop this stupid idea of sitting down for a "catch up" and let me leave to deal with all the emptions I was feeling.

But of course, luck was not on my side.

Joseph grabbed his food and turned back to me. "Just...sit with me for 15 minutes at least. Let me explain."

Even though I very much wanted an explanation, I said, "You don't have to explain anything."

"Just...please, (Y/N)."

And that's how I found myself sat in a booth that was tucked away, in the middle of the night with my ex-boyfriend.

It was a bad idea, and I knew that. Besides the fact that I definitely should not be sitting down with the ex that I had been in shambles over for weeks, it was also a bad idea publicity wise. Joseph wasn't trying to hide himself. Anyone could see us and snap a picture, or call paparazzi to make a quick buck. Even with me trying to hide myself, someone would eventually put the pieces together to realize it was me. Then we'd have a whole new shit show on our hands.

I opened my food and started to eat. There was no point in letting it go cold and completely ruin my night. Joseph wasn't as quick to do the same. He was watching me. When I realized he wasn't eating, I made a gesture for him to start talking.

"Is there anything specific you want to know?" he asked.

Well, that was a stupid question. There was a lot I wanted to know. So much so that I knew we'd be here way longer than 15 minutes if I asked it all.

I decided to ask him the most prominent question on my mind: "Did you leave me for her?"

He seemed stunned by my question. "No! No, of course I didn't. Why would you think that?"

I gave him a look. "Come on, Joseph. We both know why I'd think that."

He shuffled in his seat. "It's not like that."

"Then explain it. That's the whole reason I'm sat here."

So he did. He told me he met Doja (he used her real name, which made my stomach churn) at her concert. He had gone with a few friends, and when she found out he was there she brought them backstage to meet her. He swore it was all casual at first, that they were just friendly and were making light of the situation between her and Noah. When things started changing, he swore it was just a rebound thing.

"I never meant for it to become anything more," he insisted. "I was still so hurt. I just wanted something that would take my mind off of the pain."

I couldn't hold back the scoff that escaped my lips. "What?"

"Oh, nothing," I said. "I'm just so sorry to hear that you were hurting."

"What, you don't think our breakup was hard for me?"

"Weirdly enough, no, I didn't think you took things hard when you dumped me."

Joseph sighed. "It wasn't - "

"And you know what else?" I cut him off. "You told me you found it hard for us to be together because of our professions. And, honestly, I understood! If you weren't away filming, I was away touring. If you weren't doing press for a movie or show, I was doing press for an album. It wasn't easy, and while I was willing to go through those strifes for us, I did understand how it could be too difficult for you. But then you turned around, not even a month after you dumped me, and started dating another singer."

He was quiet. He couldn't even meet my eye.

I felt a lump forming in my throat, and my voice cracked as I said, "If you didn't love me anymore, you could've just said that."

He looked up at me quickly. "That's not - "

He was cut off again. Not by me this time, but by his phone. Someone was calling him. When I looked at the screen, I saw her name. It felt like a knife directly through my heart.

I packed my food and stood. Joseph looked like he was going to say something, but I put a hand up to stop him. "Answer your girlfriend, Joseph."

He didn't try to stop me when I left this time.

~~~~~~

As I expected, photos of Joseph and I got out. I didn't know to what extent as I still wasn't back on social media. My manager confronted me about it and I explained what had happened. She wasn't upset as I wasn't the one who hadn't been concealing my identity, and she agreed that the best course of action was just to ignore everything until it blew over.

Another two months passed and the tour finally ended. It became easier to perform as the time went on. Not completely easy, and I did have a night or two where I slipped up and got emotional on stage, but eventually I was able to put the meanings of my songs aside and just performed them for my fans. I knew some nights weren't as great as others, but I got through it, and finally I was going to have a break.

Chloe reluctantly agreed to let me have my social media back. I was still hurting a little, but I told her I couldn't isolate myself forever. It just wasn't healthy. Besides, I would need something to keep me occupied while I was home, besides just watching mind numbing reality TV. She finally relented when I told her she could watch me block the words "Joseph Quinn" and "Doja Cat" on all social media so that I wouldn't have to see any posts about them.

I was honestly surprised to find that I didn't want to look up anything to do with them. For a long time, the desire to know about their relationship was eating away at me. There were so many specifics I felt like I needed to know, but I eventually realized that I was just going to hurt myself further if I looked into them. Of course, I didn't completely stop thinking about Joseph. I didn't expect to. We had been together for two years, almost moved in with one another. I thought we were going to get married. You don't just let that go easily. But at least it was getting a little easier to live in a world where he was no longer mine.

On one particularly nice day, I decided to go out on the balcony to read. It was one of those fall days where the sun was out and there was a little heat coming from it, but not enough that it was unbearable. A slight breeze would blow through every so often, just cool enough to keep it tolerable outside. I was laid back in one of my deck chairs, engrossed in my book to a point that I hadn't heard someone approaching.

"Must be an interesting novel."

I jumped at the sound of a voice coming from my driveway below. I bookmarked my page and sat up to see the last person I wanted to be around. "What are you doing here, Joseph?"

"I just got back from filming."

"Good for you."

"I...I was hoping you were home."

"Well, you see that I am. Don't let the gate hit you on the way out."

"(Y/N), can we just talk?"

I stood from my seat and leaned over the balcony railing to look at him. "We said all there was to say in that diner months ago. There's nothing else to be talked about. Besides, do you want more pictures of us to come out? I'm sure Doja wouldn't be happy to see her man making a personal visit to his ex's place."

"We broke up!"

I stopped. "What?"

"Last month. It was all over social media, or so Lupita tells me." He tilted his head. "You didn't hear?"

"I-I blocked yours and Doja's names on social media so I wouldn't have to see any tweets or posts about you."

Joseph looked at me for a moment before barking out a laugh. I couldn't help but put a hand over my face as I laughed as well. Of course, by trying to block him out completely, I had totally missed the one thing I would've wanted to see.

I was a bit reluctant, but eventually I invited Joseph to come up. He knew his way through my place, he had been there enough times. I sat back down on my deck chair and pulled another one closer to me, as he appeared in the glass doorway. He sat down next to me and memories of all the times we had been out here flooded back to me.

"I wasn't done talking that night in the diner," he said. "I still had so much to say, and I have even more to say now."

"I didn't want to hear it," I admitted. "In my mind, after hearing how you and Doja got together, it just made more sense if you had broken up with me because you didn't love me anymore."

He shook his head. "It wasn't that at all. I never stopped loving you."

I was itching to ask him if that meant he still loved me now, but instead I said, "Then why?"

"I broke up with you because I loved you so much," he said. "Because loving you but not getting to spend time with you hurt so much, and I knew there was no way around that. When I started getting more job offers I knew things were just going to get so much busier for me, and that our already very short time together was going to dwindle down more and more, and I hated the thought of that."

"I would've taken a break," I told him.

"I couldn't ask you to do that. You love making music and performing. I could never ask you to stop doing that, or to change that. I thought the best thing for you would be if you could find someone who wasn't as busy, and who'd be able to go on tour with you and be at all your shows. Someone who wouldn't be in a different time zone basically 11 months out of a year and only be able to call you for an hour max every night."

"But what if that's not what I want?" I asked. "Yes, it was hard not to get to see you all the time, but I never would've traded that for anything else. I was so proud of you for all those roles you were getting, and even if I only got to talk to you for a few minutes, I loved getting to hear what you were doing. Because you were achieving your dream, and I got to be there to experience it. I don't want someone who can be with me all the time, I want you."

I hadn't noticed that we were both sat on the edge of our chairs. We were so close we were almost touching. I could smell the familiar scent of his cologne and it was making my heart skip a few beats.

"I should've talked to you instead of deciding just to end things," he said, his voice soft and quiet.

"You should've," I agreed. "And then if you were going to rebound, you shouldn't have done it with the girl you told me not to worry about."

He awkwardly chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, not my finest moment."

I sat back in my chair, although I didn't want to. I wanted to keep being this close to him, or maybe to get closer. "So why did you two breakup anyways?"

"She was nice and all, but she wasn't you."

We sat in silence, letting his words sink in. He was looking at me, almost like he was waiting. Maybe I was waiting, too, to see where that confession was supposed to go. After a few moments, my body moved before my mind could comprehend what was happening. I quickly leaned forward, nearly putting myself on Joseph's lap, and started kissing him. He kissed me back immediately, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me the rest of the way onto his lap.

"I missed you," he mumbled against my lips.

"I missed you too," I admitted. I pulled away to add, "But don't think you're completely off the hook. You did still hurt me, you know."

"I know I did. I'll spend the rest of my life making up for it if I have to."

I smiled. "I think I like the sound of that."

He smiled back at me and pulled me back in for another kiss. Eventually, my book was abandoned on the balcony, and the large blinds were closed to keep from anyone being able to see the reunion happening inside.

[starlostastronaut]

─ MCTC VOL 2 | MASTERLIST

PAIRING - stray kids x reader feat. a secret guest appearance

GENRE - various, each one shot specified below

WORD COUNT - ?? total

CONTENT WARNINGS - poly pairings in some one shots, suggestive/sexual content, each one shot will be more specified in its post

TAGLIST - comment or send ask to be added (if you're on permanent taglist, you're automatically added - you can check here)

LINKS - main masterlist ~ series playlist

AUTHOR'S NOTE - hiii! welcome to the 2024 advent calendar! if you're new here, mctc stands for moony's countdown to christmas, a series i did last year and because i'm unoriginal we are reusing that title lol. enjoy reading <3

important: order of one shots isn't necessarily posting order. these are a work in progress still, therefore more information will be added as i post them. and i already said it in a different post, but it's exams time in uni and it's a lot. i can't promise all one shots will be posted before christmas, but i will finish them eventually

01 / BED OF ROSES

⤷ idol!chan x reader ; angst, highschool sweethearts, estranged relationship, workaholic chan, happy ending

⤷ chan was the perfect boyfriend, everything you could have wanted. until his work consumed him

02 / ENGLISH LOVE AFFAIR

⤷ idol!minho x backup dancer!reader ; one night stand, exes to lovers

⤷ it was supposed to be just a fling, to release some of that tour stress. but minho didn't account on falling in love

03 / SUPPOSED TO BE

⤷ werewolf!changbin x shadowhunter!reader ; shadowhunters au, victorian era, enemies to lovers

⤷ when you find an illegal werewolf club, it's your duty to shut it down. but what you didn't expect to find was an ally

04 / DREAM STATE

⤷ demon!hyunjin x witch!reader ; magic au

⤷ in your demonology class, you learned about summoning. and it wouldn't be you if you didn't try those skills right away

05 / SKIP THE SMALL TALK

⤷ singer!jisung x barista!reader ; coffee shop au

⤷ per your manager's briliant idea, your coffee shop now has live music. featuring a cute singer and friends who can't stay out of his bussiness

06 / BUTTERFLIES

⤷ idol!felix x actress!reader ; strangers to lovers, meet-cute

⤷ you loved fashion shows, seeing the creative clothes designers spent hours to perfect. what you didn't love were the after parties, until he came along

07 / DANGEROUS GAME

⤷ faerie king!seungmin x half mortal!reader ; cruel prince au, fantasy au, forbidden romance

⤷ scandals, lovers... it's all fun and games to the faerie king. until it comes to his royal advisor

08 / MORNING SUN

⤷ grounder!jeongin x delinquent!reader ; the 100 au, apocalypse au, enemies to lovers, forced proximity

⤷ there wasn't supposed to be life on earth and yet there they were. creatures trying to kill you. or were they really?

09 / STEAL YOUR HEART

⤷ jeongin x reader x seungmin ; college au, established relationship

⤷ what started a stupid bet between your boyfriends, turned into a competition for boyfriend of the year

10 / MOVES LIKE JAGGER

⤷ jock!chan x reader x nerd!hongjoong ; college au, idiots to lovers, friends to lovers

⤷ falling for your best friend was a big deal on its own. and when the popular guy decides to meddle, it's about to become a problem

© starlostastronaut 2024 | do not repost/translate my work without permission

[jenny-in-a-jar]

🐸 3 days until my surgery 🐸

(Picture taken March 17, 2024)

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ So see part 8 below the cut.

Part 1 here

Yesterday we ended off right before my Facial Feminization Surgery.

I have pictures of the first few weeks of recovery after FFS but they are not pretty!! But I'll show you all just so you can see the recovery process. So cw for swelling and visible scarring

(Pictures taken between February 20 through March 4th of 2024)

Yeah one eye was swollen shut and I'm trying to smile in all the pictures but couldn't 😅 Recovery was pretty tried so I slept most of the time and just watched TV for the first week or so lol.

Honestly there wasn't a big difference. Like when I went back to work, I'm sure that most people didn't even realize I had work done to my face. But I didn't do it for them. Before the surgery I had a really hard time not obsessing over certain dysphoric traits so it's quite a relief to get rid of them 🥰

(Picture taken March 17, 2024)

The one big long term side effect my eyes point in different directions when I look in a certain angle 😬 The surgeon and other doctors I've seen about it were surprised so my big takeaway and unforeseen consequences is a cost of surgery. And despite that, I don't regret it 😤

(Picture taken April 28, 2024)

The other big update for this era was I joined the board for the queer nonprofit I mentioned before! One of our big new projects I'm helping with is taking an empty lot and abandoned home and turn them into a community garden and transitional home 🌱

(Picture taken May 12, 2024)

And now we're up to date!! I do have some small ideas for my last two countdown posts so don't worry I'll be back tomorrow with some pictures 😁

Next part here

[herecirmsims]

Trinity

Day five of the Countdown To Valentine's Day collab with the wonderful @simmireen and @simmerianne93! My gift for you today is a sleepy, slightly spicy morning wake-up for a trio of goooood friends (ha). I started work on a bunch of throuple sets last year because I felt like we didn't have many trio poses where EVERYONE involved was into each other, but then I never did anything with them because I'm a loser like that. Thank you to this collab for forcing me to release some of the stuff I've been sitting on. 😌🤣

These poses were made with two masc and one femme rig, and should be fairly gender neutral; but, as always, there may be clipping or floating depending on clothing and Sim body type.

You will need: - Pose Player - Teleport Any Sim - double bed

TOU: you may adjust for personal use to avoid clipping etc., but please do not reupload/paywall/claim as your own.

Download here (always free) SFS | Patreon

There'll be a new pack tomorrow! Be sure to follow Simmireen and Simmerianne93 as we're posting on alternate days!

Simmireen: Patreon | Tumblr | Twitter | Instagram Simmerianne93: Patreon | Tumblr | Twitter | Instagram

I'd love to see them used! You can tag me on Twitter, Instagram, or Tumblr. I repost. ❤️

You can easily browse more of my posepacks using my Ko-Fi gallery. If you'd like to leave a tip that's always appreciated but never required. Have fun telling your stories!

@ts4-poses @alwaysfreecc

[martsonmars]

Hi friends! I keep committing and recommitting to making a serious effort to come back to the fandom, and I think this time finally I got my Snowbaz feelings back for real. So I'm going to try. Thank you to everyone who kept tagging me; I'm a little lost re: new people existing on Tumblr, but I hope to catch up!

So much to do in this post. For now, some snippets.

Exhibit A: my writing goal for the month. It's okay if it doesn't work out, but I decided I need short-term writing goals and this is my first one.

Baz pushes his sunglasses up his nose, staring at the man behind the counter of the shop. He hopes that hiding in plain sight—without his costume, without his mask—is a more effective disguise than trying to wear a fake moustache.

The apron is there, gloriously stretching over a broad chest that does not turn Baz's insides into soup and make him wish he could go back three—five, ten—years and do everything differently.

Exhibit B: COBB idea. I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going right is never the right choice.

I've known this since the first time my father brought me along on his travels (read: I hid in his trunk) and I had to face a crocodile armed only with a blunt Swiss Army knife I'd stolen from said trunk. All because I'd turned right. And then right again.

When he found me, scraped knees and his precious knife lost in the belly of the beast, he didn't even yell. He just looked at me like he always did. Like the biggest disappointment in his life of failures.

Exhibit C: potential second COBB idea, that I'm going to submit only if I make enough progress by the end of the month.

[Baz] holds my hand like it's the only thing keeping him grounded. Present. The minutes are trickling away from us like sand in a broken hourglass. The sun hasn't started rising yet, the night as dark as it gets, the cold seeping into our bones.

He holds my hand like he's afraid he'd float away if he didn't.

I know I'd be glad if it happened.

I have a lot of fandom resolutions for this year and I'm scared they'll end up like any New Year's resolutions... but I'll list them anyway. 6 resolutions Sunday:

Be more involved on Tumblr. I want to post more, but especially start reblogging and commenting on things again.

Write more. Last year I wrote so little and posted even less, and it made me sad when I realised it in the past days. So much was going on, so I don't blame myself, but I miss writing and I believe I can try to make it a regular thing again.

I want to read more fics. It's been years since I last read fics consistently. I missed everything!! Time to slowly catch up.

Relatedly, I want to try to comment more. I've never been a great commenter because it overwhelms me, but it's hypocritical since I need everyone and their brother to leave 10 paragraph long comments on everything I write... So I want to commit to doing better.

I want to try to publish a fic every month, at least. @palimpsessed suggested doing some sort of monthly countdown to Carry On's birthday in October and I'm all in.

I want to succeed at COBB. For one reason or the other, more often than not because I am cursed and I never finished writing my things, I've never managed to start and finish posting something for COBB. But I have two concepts I'm so excited about (not sure yet if I'll try both of them) and I want to commit to doing well. Wish me good luck.

My good old tagging list <3 I hope to add new people soon! But hi my dear old friends, how's it going?

@facewithoutheart @sillyunicorn @onepintobean @shrekgogurt @wellbelesbian @palimpsessed @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @forabeatofadrum @fatalfangirl @cutestkilla @ileadacharmedlife @bookish-bogwitch @artsyunderstudy @orange-peony @larkral @raenestee @stitchyqueer @hushed-chorus @technetiumai @brilla-brilla-estrellita @thewholelemon @theimpossibledemon @imagineacoolusername @blackberrysummerblog @theearlgreymage @rimeswithpurple @messofthejess @alexalexinii @whatevertheweather @jbrrring @prettygoododds @youarenevertooold @best--dress @theotherhufflepuff @monbons @run-for-chamo-miles @confused-bi-queer @aristocratic-otter @dragoneggos @gekkoinapeartree @ionlydrinkhotwater @erzbethluna @shemakesmeforget @basiltonbutliketheherb @otherpeoplesheartachept-2 @noblecorgi @j-nipper-95

[lautski-week]

Hello again Lautski Nation! (Q&A under the cut)

Welcome once again to the fourth official Lautski Week! Once semiannual, now back to annual, always so fun to run 💞 Mod is @the-spaced-out-ace, uses they/them pronouns. As always, I love sharing our beloved nerd and cool girl with the world, and I'm looking forward to seeing what this summer's event will bring! Every submission is always so wonderful!

And as per usual, a rundown of how the event works in case this is someone's first time!

Q: What are alternates?

A: Alternates are two extra prompts in case one of them leaves you stumped! They can be used any day, or they can not be used at all! It’s up to each individual participant!

Q: Do I have to do all seven days?

A: You’re free to do as many as you want! You can do all seven, you can do just a few, hell, you could do all nine in you wanted! This isn’t a challenge, it’s an event. The main goal is to make some posts about this ship we love and having fun.

Q: What can I make?

A: Anything you want! Art, fics, edits, memes, etc. There's even been a cosplay or two in the past! The one thing I will not reblog is anything generated by AI. I trust that anyone in an event like this gets why generative AI is evil, but I am saying it just in case.

Q: How do I post?

A: I’ll reblog anything made for the event to this blog and my main. If you’d like to be featured, please @ THIS blog. Additionally, I’d recommend tagging works with #lautski week so everyone’s works can all be found in the same place. I've also not always been pinged by tumblr in the past, so the tag really is an important extra precaution.

Q: I was late! Can I still post?

A: Of course! I’ll keep reblogging new posts tagged #lautski week and/or mention this blog through July 12!

Q: Can I post to AO3, then link it back here?

A: Feel free! This year I will also be setting up a Lautski Week collection, which I will link on the blog closer to time. Feel free to use it!

Q: Can I post to (insert any other fanfic site here) then link it back here?

A: Same as AO3. Go ahead!

Q: One of my wips fits *insert prompt here!* Can I post it for that day?

A: You can, but please don’t post before the event begins!

Q: Am I allowed to write smut?

A: Yes, but please have it properly tagged on both tumblr and AO3. On this blog, I will use the additional tag "smut warning"

Q: Will there be another collection?

A: Yes! It will go up on AO3 on June 26! It is opt in, so you can add or remove fics on your own terms.

That's all for now. Thank you all for the support in the last few events and I look forward to the up and running event this summer. Like last year you can likely expect occasional reblogs on here and main and countdown memes made by yours truly, but until then, see you all on June 29!

[videolaa]

A New Years Kiss: Minho

Hello, long time no see. Happy New Year. Please enjoy this unedited, extremely poorly written one-shot. From a tired, hungover writer. As always, all rights go to videolaa. You are not allowed to discredit my work, I don't post anywhere else unless stated by me.

You batted your eyes, trying to adjust to the lighting in the room. What would have been distant sounds from the kitchen sounded like loud bangs from your newfound hangover. As your vision cleared enough, your eyes widened, realizing that wasn't your bedroom door. This wasn't your bedroom, your sheets, none of it.

An arm tossed itself over your side, making you tense at the feeling onto your bare skin.

Slowly turning to find Minho, sound asleep next to you, shirtless. There was a hard gulp in your throat, trying to process everything that happened, as you tried to piece the puzzle of last night together. A part of you wanted to wake Minho up and ask what happened, but he looked so at peace that you couldn't pull yourself to do it.

With a deep breath, you closed your eyes, trying to remember everything.

You and your friends decided to go out for a few drinks and watch the countdown. While everyone discussed who's car was taking who to where, you went to get ready. It was new years after all, might as well dress up a bit.

Hyunjin poked fun at you from the drivers seat about Minho, possibly showing up, which made you want to dress up. He wasn't entirely wrong. You did like Minho. He was built, handsome, and he had a beautiful smile that sometimes resembled a bunny. He knew how to make you laugh, especially on days when you felt like crying. Some people said he seemed cold or distant, only they didn't know how caring, funny, and soft Minho was. So maybe you did dress up to see if he would notice yet enough to still blend in for the evening.

He showed up and stuck to the guys and you like you. Slick shots, chasers, and mixing drinks began to swirl with your thoughts. At one point, Seungmin teased you both about not having anyone to kiss at midnight. Remembering you were ready to fire back a comment until Minho raised an eyebrow with a smirk looking at you. "Your alcohol is talking," you pointed out. Minho shrugged, "Mine doesn't have me turning red. Well, how 'bout it. Be my midnight kiss?".

It's just a kiss. He was consenting to it, "Okay. I'll be your midnight kiss." At the twenty-second mark, take a shot for courage.

"10" his eyes went between your lips and eyes, double checking if you were positive with this.

"9" you nodded your head before both of looked at the screen like everyone else.

"8" an arm rested on your back.

"7" the world was quiet.

"6" both of you were leaning in with your hands snaking around his shoulders.

"5" Both of you closed your eyes, and leaned in.

That was all you could remember, not even the cheering. You rubbed your temple, embarrassed by last nights actions. One kiss shouldn't have led to waking up in his bed.

"He's gonna think I'm easy" you mumbled as quietly as possible. You liked him, maybe someone mentioned it and he used it to his advantage - especially adding alcohol into the mix...

With as much strength as you could muster you swung your legs off his bed, trying to slip away in order to get to your trail of close.

Freezing as you heard a tired groan, with a cat like stretch, "Leaving?"

"Yeah," you felt self-conscious now that you were sober, still bare in front of the guy you liked. You wouldn't be surprised if your makeup was smeared across your face. "Give me a minute, and I'll take you home" his voice raspy as he went to leave his bed. "I can call Hyunjin..."

"I'm sorry about... everything," he mumbled. "Don't be, we're both at fault" The air felt unfinished, as if more was supposed to be said, but neither of you could find the right words. "Tell me, do you remember last night?" you asked, quickly pulling your shirt over your head. "Everything got blurry a little after we kissed."

"Was it bad?" Your fingers quickly scrolling to your best friend's contact.

"No, and I don't think the rest was either," his ears were turning pink, causing you to giggle, seeing that thankfully, neither of you remember coming back. "I do remember a certain someone liked having her hands in my hair," he laughed, causing the heat to rise to your face, hitting the call button, your heart leaping to your throat. "I didn't mean -"

"Don't worry, I liked it"

"What?" You stared in disbelief. That did not just come out of his mouth, which had a mischievous smile forming, "I said, I liked it."

Your face was burning, so visible it had Minho shrugging on a pair of sweats as he came over, cupping your face, "You're so red,"

"So are your ears," you shot back. Then he did it again, eyes flickering from your eyes to your mouth. Only his eyes were softer, sober, a soft hello being heard from your phone, repeatedly. "Shit! Hello, sorry"

"You call and don't say anything? Do you want me to have a heart attack?" Hyunjin screamed, bringing throbbing of your head hit you harder than before. "Don't be dramatic, I don't want you to have a heart attack. I was going to ask what you were doing right now -" an echo of vomit, followed by the sound of flushing, was heard in the background. "Are you sick?" Minho raised an eyebrow at the question.

"It comes and goes, last night really-" Hyunjin's body cut him off again, the mere sound was enough to make you feel queasy. "Hello? Is someone there with you?" your voice switched to concern. Only relief you got was Changbin answering, "I got him. He'll be fine. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I was just trying to check in" you explain.

"And that she has a ride home!" Minho said closer to the phone. "Can you take care of him?" you asked before Hyunjin mumbled something, "Yeah I can do that - she's fine, you two can talk about it later! Minho has her, she's fine! (Y/n) can you call him later?" Changbin huffed. "Yes I promise," you sighed with a slight laughter before hanging up, placing your phone in your back pocket.

"Did that kill the mood?" The feeling of guilt, seeing how close Minho was standing. "Not entirely - could have gone without hearing him sick," he scoffed, but you agreed.

Minho lifted his hand back up to your cheek, "I might though," you stated as his hand froze, letting you continue. "I know last night wasn't planned, and maybe a mistake, but I don't do friends with benefits. So if you want that I can't do that. Plus I really like you I'm not putting myself in a situation like -" you were explaining only to be cut off by a pair of lips.

Shock ran through you at the feeling of his lips on yours. You couldn't help but lean into it yourself. Shutting your eyes, sparks flew across your eyelids. Your hands flew to the back of his neck, Minho pulled away, resting his forehead against your shoulder, "I don't who you believe in but, thank God. I've had liked you for such a long time"

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, a couple people figured it out. Then last night happened and... I didn't plan on taking you home. I wanted to kiss you, but I planned on asking you out on a date" Minho dumped his confession, leaving you speechless.

This gorgeous man, who could have anyone he wanted, who seemed so far out of your league, wanted you? The new year barely started, but the last 24 hours definitely were not expected.

All you could do was laugh, and kiss him again. "We don't have to do anything but come back to bed? I'll put a movie on and we can just -"

"Lay there?" you finished his sentence.

"Or sleep off two hangovers" he joked.

"I would love that." Minho pulled you back to the mattress at your answer.

"Happy new year Minho"

"Same to you, too (Y/n). Lets make it a good one"

[roomwithanopenfire]

Six Sentence Sunday

Happy sunday! Thanks for the tags @artsyunderstudy @nausikaaa @monbons and @bookishbroadwayandblind !!

The writing bug has bit me. I was worried all my writing inspiration would die back down to nothing after the Countdown, but that has not happened! I've been feeling so creative lately, and I've done more work on The Way We Are in the past few days than I have in months so that feels good. Hopefully, soon i can finish writing it and start posting again! (but no snippets from that today, i fear i've shown too much already)

Also, I've thought up a new idea for COBB this year! I learned my lesson from last time, and am writing something shorter and starting it earlier, but I'm really excited about my idea! Plus, I'm working on some fics for my other main fandom (Stranger Things), and have been having a lot of fun with it.

Snippets from one Stranger Things fic, and from a Secret Project under the cut.

Stranger Things:

“Come to the party with me,” Chrissy asks, not for the first time tonight. She puts her hands on her hips and makes a perfect pouty face. The expression combined with her gaze, Robin almost says yes—almost. “Come on, you know that parties aren’t my thing.”  “Pretty please?” Her pout intensifies. Robin should look away. “No.” Robin can’t look away. “Pretty please with a cherry on top?” “Nope,” Robin says, popping the p. “I’ll do your makeup for you,” she pleads. “I’ll even let you borrow my clothes. Please? Jason’s gonna be a whiny bitch all night, and I don't want to go alone.” “If you think Jason’s going to be rude, you don’t have to go.”

Secret Project:

“Yeah, this’ll make a great letter,” I say to no one. “Dear Baz, I’ve been watching shitty TV and making messes with my new limbs. Everything’s fucking hunky dory. Love, your magickless, disaster-of-a-boyfriend, Simon Snow.” He’d probably send me a break-up letter in response to that. I read through Baz’s letter again and wish that I could still do magic so I could smooth the wrinkles. Good as new or Pressed paper would do the trick. Although, even if I had my magic, I’d probably end up wiping the words off with the folds. I was useless with magic, and I’m even more useless without.

Tags and hellos:

@alexalexinii @aristocratic-otter @arthurkko @beastmonstertitan @blackberrysummerblog

@best--dress @bookish-bogwitch @brendughh @brilla-brilla-estrellita @cccloudsss

@confused-bi-queer @cutestkilla @drowninginships @facewithoutheart @emeryhall

@fiend-for-culture @hertragedyconnoisseur @horsesarenotdeer @hushed-chorus @iamamythologicalcreature

@ileadacharmedlife @larkal @meanjeansjeans @m1ndwinder

@noblecorgi @prettygoododds @raenestee @rimeswithpurple @run-for-chamo-miles

@rbkzz @shrekgogurt @skee3000 @supercutedinosaurs @sweetronancer

@talentpiper11 @terra-fae @thewholelemon @valeffelees @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[mncxbe]

Every girl gets her wish𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

𝑭𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒛𝒂𝒘𝒂, 𝑭𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒄𝒉𝒊 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fluff/ official appreciation post for my fav bsd dilfs/not proofread

𝑭𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒛𝒂𝒘𝒂

The amber bubbles fizzed up as Dazai poured the last drop of champagne in your glass. "Don't drink yet we've still got a few minutes left until midnight" announced the brunette, earning a nod from you.

Holding the stem of the glass between your middle and ring finger, crystal bowl resting in the palm of your hand, you made your way to the back of the terrace leaning against the ivy covered brick wall. It was a pretty location the president rented for the new year's eve party; golden lights, cozy wooden tables and cushy sofas and most importantly unlimited food and drinks.

You've already had your fair share of cocktails and shots and your body felt warm, cheeks lightly flushed, mind hazy. Your gaze instinctively sought the familiar head of silvery hair and found it on the other side of the terrace. Fukuzawa was leaning against the railing talking, as per usual, to Ranpo. The longer strands of his hair fell down the black lapel of his suit, bangs framing the sharp lines of his features. Fuck, he looked so handsome in this light.

As if reading your thoughts Ranpo's head snapped in your direction, giving you a mischevious smile. He knew of your crush on your boss, of course he knew and it didn't help your situation at all. Just then, the older man turned his head to face you and you smiled weakly, waving at them. You were about to die of embarassment when you realised how much you were blushing. Fuck your low alcohol tolerance and the stupid feelings that took over you whenever you saw him.

And then you saw him walk in your direction; clearing your throat, you gave him your sweetest smile.

"Good evening, Y/N. Are you enjoying yourself?" he asked casually, leaning on the wall beside you.

"Yes, boss, very much. I love this place it's... very lovely" you babbled out, hurriendly taking a sip of your drink to drown your rapid heartbeat.

"I'm glad to hear that" he smiled, oh that rare, genuine smile that made you weak in the knees. You didn't know what else to say so you simply nodded, biting down on your glossy lip as you looked at your glass. Waiting for him to leave. But he didn't. Fukuzawa remained by your side, taking occasional sips from his own drink and checking his clock. The silence was starting to feel awkward and you damned yourself for acting so silly. 'Come on, girl, you got this just say something' was the best encouragement you could come up with. Taking in a deep breath you opened your mouth but before you got the chance to speak Fukuzawa leaned closer to you.

"You're a remarkable woman, Y/N. I hope you know that." he said softly. In the background you could already hear the thrilled voices of your colleagues doing the countdown. 10...9...8 "Would you maybe consider allowing me to..." he continued, his voice trailing off as he traced the contour of your cheery-wine coloured lips with his thumb, making your heart skip a beat.

7...6...5. You nodded eagerly, swallowing down every last shred doubt and looked up at him, meeting his warm gaze. 4...3...2. He smiled, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer, his deep, vanilla tinged scent making your knees weak. And then he did it. When the clock struck midnight he kissed you, a soft kiss that seemed almost innocent if it hadn't been for the fierce, posessive grip he had on your hip.

When you eventually pulled away you couldn't help but smile. Leaning against one another, the two of you shared the usual Happy new years right before you gazed over Fukuzawa's shoulder, eyes landing on Ranpo who gave you a thumbs up, grinning. The blush immediately returned to your face and you hid your face in the man's shoulder, praying that no one else saw the kiss you two shared. plot twist later in the evening Ranpo spread the news.

𝑭𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒄𝒉𝒊

You knew that working for the Hunting Dogs was going to be quite a demanding job but you never expected to be called in for a mission on New Year's Eve. Still, at 9 in the evening the captain sent you a quick text asking to accompany him on a mission. "Sorry, sweetheart, but I can't reach the others. I expect you to be at the warehouses in 30." was all the explanations you were given before you hastly put on your uniform and left your apartment.

It was almost midnight when you were done and due to the late hour no cabs were available, leaving you with no hope of getting back home to your friends.

"What a bummer..." you mumbled under your breath, leaning against the metal railing that lined the frothy shore. The metallic smell of fireworks and cheap firecrackers filled the chilly winter air.

"It can't be helped sometimes, when duty calls we answer" said your superior in his usual condescending tone, standing by your side. He lazily procured a cigarette from a crumpled pack in the pocket of his jacket and lit it before checking the time. "Three more minutes 'till midnight. I guess you're stuck with me tonight"

You simply nodded in response, humming a disinterested mhm. Frankly, you couldn't care less who you spent new year's eve with; it was just another night of the year. But having to sit outside in the crisp December air, watching happy couples cooing at each other and sharing kisses wasn't exactly ideal. You thought of your friends; bundled up on your balcony getting ready to open the bottle of champagne you spent a quarter of your salary on and couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy.

You were too lost in thought to notice when the clock struck midnight. As if on que the sky erupted in bright neon colours; ruby red, champagne gold and shades of blue painting the blackness above. The few couples nearby began kissing, each person giving their partner a lovesick grin that made your stomach churn. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't you have that too?

"What's with that pouty face?" Fukuchi asked casually, his gaze landing on the couple seated on the bench in front of you. "Ah I see how it is. You want your midnight kiss, right?"

Before you could answer he cupped your jaw with a gloved hand making you face him as he leaned in "I believe I can help with that"

Despite how cold you were heat bloomed in your abdomen, a rosy blush tinting your cheeks. "No need sir I'm fine really~" you stammered, trying to look at anything else beside him.

"Nonsense, sweetheart. You're already stuck out here because of me. It's the least I can do." he chuckled, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his lips. You couldn't deny how tempting the offer was. After all, you did develop a little crush on your boss during the few months you worked as a hunting dog. He seemed to be quite fond of you too, always taking you on missions with him, even going so far as to call you sweetheart when it was just the two of you so... maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Before you knew it you leaned in, hesitantly pressing your lips against his. His hand left your face and slid to the nape of your neck fingers entangling in your hair, giving it a gentle tug. Taking the hint you parted your lips, allowing him to slip his tongue in your mouth and deepen the kiss. It was messy, a needy kiss that made your head fuzzy. He tasted just like you imagined: cigarettes and bourbon.

When he eventually pulled away his signature smirk was plastered on his face "How was that for a midnight kiss? Is my favourite girl satisfied?"

You couldn't help but smilen, that damned lovesick grin you so hated to see on other people. "Yea, I'm happy now". Taking a last drag from his cigarette he flicked the bud on the ground and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You instinctively leaned closer to him, your head coming to rest on his chest. Smiling down at you, Fukuchi gave your arm a loving squeeze "Happy new year, Y/N"

[jovial-thunder]

Pre-alpha Lancer Tactics changelog

(cross-posting the full gif changelog here because folks seemed to like it last time I did)

We're aiming for getting the first public alpha for backers by the end of this month! Carpenter and I scoped out mechanics that can wait until after the alpha (e.g. grappling, hiding) in favor of tying up the hundred loose threads that are needed for something that approaches a playable game. So this is mostly a big ol changelog of an update from doing that.

But I also gave a talent talk at a local Portland Indie Game Squad event about engine architecture! It'll sound familiar if you've been reading these updates; I laid out the basic idea for this talk almost a year ago, back in the June 2023 update.

We've also signed contracts & had a kickoff meeting with our writers to start on the campaigns. While I've enjoyed like a year of engine-work, it'll be so so nice to start getting to tell stories. Data structures don't mean anything beyond how they affect humans & other life.

New Content

Implemented flying as a status; unit counts as +3 spaces above the current ground level and ignores terrain and elevation extra movement costs. Added hover + takeoff/land animations.

Gave deployables the ability to have 3D meshes instead of 2D sprites; we'll probably use this mostly when the deployable in question is climbable.

Related, I fixed a bug where after terrain destruction, all units recheck the ground height under them so they'll move down if the ground is shot out from under them. When the Jerichos do that, they say "oh heck, the ground is taller! I better move up to stand on it!" — not realizing that the taller ground they're seeing came from themselves.

Fixed by locking some units' rendering to the ground level; this means no stacking climbable things, which is a call I'm comfortable making. We ain't making minecraft here (I whisper to myself, gazing at the bottom of my tea mug). 

Block sizes are currently 1x1x0.5 — half as tall as they are wide. Since that was a size I pulled out of nowhere for convenience, we did some art tests for different block heights and camera angles. TLDR that size works great and we're leaving it.

Added Cone AOE pattern, courtesy of an algorithm NMcCoy sent me that guarantees the correct number of tiles are picked at the correct distance from the origin.

pick your aim angle

for each distance step N of your cone, make a list ("ring") of all the cells at that distance from your origin

sort those cells by angular distance from your aim angle, and include the N closest cells in that ring in the cone's area

Here's a gif they made of it in Bitsy:

Units face where you're planning on moving/targeting them.

Got Walking Armory's Shock option working. Added subtle (too subtle, now that I look at it) electricity effect.

Other things we've added but I don't have gifs for or failed to upload. You'll have to trust me. :)

disengage action

overcharge action

Improved Armament core bonus

basic mine explosion fx

explosion fx on character dying

Increase map elevation cap to 10. It's nice but definitely is risky with increasing the voxel space, gonna have to keep an eye on performance.

Added Structured + Stress event and the associated popups. Also added meltdown status (and hidden countdown), but there's not animation for this yet so your guy just abruptly disappears and leaves huge crater.

UI Improvements

Rearranged the portrait maker. Auto-expand the color picker so you don't have to keep clicking into a submenu.

Added topdown camera mode by pressing R for handling getting mechs out of tight spaces.

The action tooltips have been bothering me for a while; they extend up and cover prime play-area real estate in the center of the screen. So I redesigned them to be shorter and have a max height by putting long descriptions in a scrollable box. This sounds simple, but the redesign, pulling in all the correct data for the tags, and wiring up the tooltips took like seven hours. Game dev is hard, yo.

Put the unit inspect popups in lockable tooltips + added a bunch of tooltips to them.

Implemented the rest of Carpenter's cool hex-y action and end turn readout. I'm a big fan of whenever we can make the game look more like a game and less like a website (though he balances out my impulse for that for the sake of legibility).

Added a JANKY talent/frame picker. I swear we have designs for a better one, but sometimes you gotta just get it working. Also seen briefly here are basic level up/down and HASE buttons.

Other no-picture things:

Negated the map-scaling effect that happens when the window resizes to prevent bad pixel scaling of mechs at different resolutions; making the window bigger now just lets you see more play area instead of making things bigger.

WIP Objectives Bullets panel to give the current sitrep info

Wired up a buncha tooltips throughout the character sheet.

Under the Hood

Serialization: can save/load games! This is the payoff for sticking with that engine architecture I've been going on about. I had to add a serialization function to everything in the center layer which took a while, but it was fairly straightforward work with few curveballs.

Finished replacement of the kit/unit/reinforcement group/sitrep pickers with a new standardized system that can pull from stock data and user-saved data.

Updated to Godot 4.2.2; the game (and editor) has been crashing on exit for a LONG time and for the life of me I couldn't track down why, but this minor update in Godot completely fixed the bug. I still have no idea what was happening, but it's so cool to be working in an engine that's this active bugfixing-wise! 

Other Bugfixes

Pulled straight from the internal changelog, no edits for public parseability:

calculate cover for fliers correctly

no overwatch when outside of vertical threat

fixed skirmisher triggering for each attack in an AOE

fixed jumpjets boost-available detection

fixed mines not triggering when you step right on top of them // at a different elevation but still adjacent

weapon mods not a valid target for destruction

made camera pan less jumpy and adjust to the terrain height

better Buff name/desc localization

Fixed compcon planner letting you both boost and attack with one quick action.

Fix displayed movement points not updating

Prevent wrecks from going prone

fix berserkers not moving if they were exactly one tile away

hex mine uses deployer's save target instead of 0

restrict weapon mod selection if you don't have the SP to pay

fix deployable previews not going away

fix impaired not showing up in the unit inspector (its status code is 0 so there was a check that was like "looks like there's no status here")

fix skirmisher letting you move to a tile that should cost two movement if it's only one space away

fix hit percent calculation

fix rangefinder grid shader corner issues (this was like a full day to rewrite the shader to be better)

Teleporting costs the max(spaces traveled, elevation change) instead of always 1

So um, yeah, that's my talk, any questions? (I had a professor once tell us to never end a talk like this, so now of course it's the phrase that first comes to mind whenever I end a talk)

[eyezdrawz]

Intro :) last updated: Feb 22 '25

All dividers, graphics, and blinkies are not mine, credits go to the makers

👁️Hi I'm Eyez! Or Mr. Fregoli or just Fregoli or graham. you can even call me Margo if you wanna get formal with me.

🏳️‍⚧️Prns are he/him

‼️I AM A MINOR DONT BE WEIRD.

Don't repost my art without credit. I will block you.

⚠️DNI: Homophobes, Transphobes, pedos, proshippers, racists, bigots, fascists, people who make AI "art", and other idiots

I believe in peace and freedom for every country (ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE IN NEED RIGHT NOW!🍉)

⚠️Warning!: I post a lot of art that has gore in it. I also draw a lot of things that could be disturbing like distorted bodies, monsters, and eyes. I also talk about (and draw) possibly sensitive topics such as religion, mental and physical illness, and more. If this bothers you, you shouldn't interact.

Tags:

Bone man chronicals: (talking about bones and updating my collection + cleaning them if I find any)

My qpp (y'all already know, talk about partner or qp stuff in general)

My art (my art)

I'm working on a new meet the artist so that will me coming!!

Woohoo here is are some of my links!

Prns page

Strawpage (you can send me things)

📷Discord and insta: eyecantibal

Art archive: eyezreblogz (this is just a blog where I just reblog my own art for archival purposes)

OC master post: https://www.tumblr.com/eyezdrawz/763241944591761408/oc-master-post?source=share

Mutuals!!! Join my discord server!!

💥Things I like/fandoms I'm in under cut + kins

📻🎙️Podcasts: camp here and there (finished, main thing I post about), The Magnus archives (finished), malevolent (mostly finished), welcome to nightvale (started)

🎧🎶Music: Will wood, wwatt (fav), The Dear Hunter (fav), Amigo the devil (fav), American Murder Song (fav), Shayfer James (fav), Hozier (fav), The Hush Sound, Penelope Scott, Bear Ghost, System of a Down, Tally Hall, miracle musical, a verbal equinox and more!

(some of the singers and members in some of these bands, not all, are controversial/problematic and I do not support anything that they did (mostly referring to Joe Hawley from tally hall and Terrence from american murder song))

📺🎬Tv shows: Hannibal NBC (fav), Midnight Mass, Interview with the vampire (fav)

🎭🎞️Movies: interview with the vampire 1994 (fav), nightcrawler (fav), fight club (fav), no country for old men, silence of the lambs, moulin rouge (fav), fantastic mr fox

I really really like my ocs Mikeal, Santiago, Andias, and Bernadette. I post about them a lot.

I have OCD, Depression, GAD, SAD, Autism, and C-PTSD/PTSD (all are diagnosed/confirmed by professional)

I have PCOS and anemia as well as chronic fatigue.

Huge will graham fictionkin (I don't have a blog for it). I kin will so much it's scary. Juno chnt fictionkin. Deerkin and wolfkin (not therian I just feel very connected to those animals, think of it in a more spiritual way) I have more otherkins but those two are the most prominent and known.

I collect bones and I like vulture culture. I am also very interested in human anatomy and medical examinations (I'm not an expert I just think it's neat).

I really like gothic lit like dracula, Jekyll and Hyde, Frankenstein, carmilla, and more.

I like vampires a lot. A lot lot. A whole lot. So expect that. Yeah.

Alright that's it, bye🥩

(graphics I like, none are mine)

[art-of-the-void]

To Celebrate Shadow milk cookie releasing in a few hours here's a few of my finished and unfinished Shadow milk doodles

I don't remember the original time order for these but here they are

Some stuff about some of them

Doodle 1: twas my first time drawing him, I'm really proud of how it turned out and I twisted my style a bit specifically for this. Twas also the start of me hyperfixating on him. Redrew my favorite sprite of his, specifically because it's titled sing :3

Doodle 2-3: my Christmas drawing of 2024. I usually do a Christmas drawing a year and this one was last year's. Funnily enough it would be my second time drawing something cookie run related for Christmas, last time being in i think 2020 or 2021 it's been awhile. I couldn't decide if I wanted the hats to be blue or red, so I decided to do both. Genius ik.

Doodle 4: I saw a challenge in which you draw your oc in those very bright default Ibispaint colours so I did it with Shadow milk.

Doodle 5: I have a tendency to draw my favorite characters as genshin emotes (I did it with Sebastian Solace too-) so I started with (I think it's) a sethos emote, specifically for whenever I randomly enter my friends and family's DMS or some of the servers I'm in

Doodle 6: another sprite redraw. i believe this was drawn around the time I finished reading the Wind archer and Shadow milk side story. I love it sm.

Doodle 7: my New years drawing (obviously-) wanted to do something silly, I also stole the bg from a cutscene because I'm lazy and I hate drawing backgrounds.

Doodle 8: I was in need of a shadow milk popcorn emote to match my favorite Furina popcorn gif that I use all the time on discord. So I made one :3

Doodle 9: one of my many shadow milk doodle pages that I was drawing while waiting for today. The rest are physically drawn rather than digitally. This actually features one of my OCs I made for fun named Stringed Blueberry milk cookie. I might make a post about her. But ngl she's kinda silly and self indulgent and very canon divergent.

Doodle 10: another doodle page, but before I started my countdown ones. Two are inspired by someone on Tumblr's Shadow milk and Pure Vanilla cozy fall outfits. I don't remember the blog's name rn unfortunately tho. Might edit later to include their name if I find it again.

These aren't all my doodles

However Tumblr has a 10 image limit it would seem so, unfortunately this is as much as I can give atm.

And I'm constantly drawing more

The hyperfixation won't let me go-

Anyway that's all for now

I have to go back to

Well drawing

I'm actually currently working on drawing all my currently owned cookie run kingdom cookies

So I will eventually post those when I read 10 illustrations

I have over 100 so it'll certainly be a lot of posts-

See you then!

[zmediaoutlet]

hey i saw your post about ao3 house style and i can totally relate to it, so i thought maybe you could share some wincest fic recs? please and thank u 🙏

you know what bud, I will indeed share some wincest fic recs bc you should rec the stuff that is good and leave the crud in the dust, right? Right. So -- here are uhh a number of recs as they occur to me, which actually read like a person wrote them instead of an AO3-trained algorithm of some kind. Plus I only rec stuff if I actually like it so consider these Z Certified or something.

The Fremont Street Experience by @nigeltde-fic -- a quick 1200 words that's a fizzing jolt of champagne right under the heart. New love that's just bursting with all that could be. Anticipation fizzes in Dean's veins, dances in his fingertips. The sand shimmers, hazes, glitters. There's so much sky. It pours into the road at the horizon. -- see?

Miles Ahead by @egipci -- a fully-formed entirely real paragraph of 750 words in which we see Sam Winchester in all his want and wanting, and I want to crawl inside the narrative presented and live there year-round. You were pretending to sleep and every once in a while a car would pass by and the headlights would fill up the inside of the car like midday and then I would look at you out the corner of my eye. All the way I thought about Mexico and you there sunburnt. -- I mean my god.

Countdown by @mollyamory-again -- another tight 1200 of just a normally-tense night that dissolves in sweet established-vibes intimacy. Brothers who feel like brothers and also an earned and real -- not hotness exactly but just adults who have sex who act and think like adults, which is not as common as you'd hope! His fingers skate over Dean's skin in lazy patterns; they find their old places, and Dean shoves up to meet them, asking for more and getting more all at once. Sam missed him, Sam wants him; Sam is here, so they can do this, Dean wants so badly to do this.

Four Winters: I by @lindencypressbirch, who got deleted and so we'll just call her Linden. Stretching all the way up to 4700 words this time, Linden takes us through a godawful piece of shit of a day in which Dean Winchester Is Handling It, until of course he isn't -- but he is, because he has to, because what other choice is there? This one does a great job of showcasing the misery without lingering on it in a maudlin or tedious way. There's just the job, and then the next job after. After another moment or two he scrubbed a hand over his wet face and went looking for his thermos, and the last of the cold coffee it held. Because they had power now, yes, but there was no telling whether they would have power later, and as they were clearly not going to be going anywhere for a few days, he had work to do before it maybe went.

The Fall Will Probably Kill You by killabeez, which is allll the way up to 7k and retains interest throughout. The big strength in this one is that Sam is competent, steady, believable-from-canon Sam when we get so much over-the-top meathead jerk or simpering babyboy who reads 15 when he's mean to be 40. I'm just blown over by all that SAM. This fic is really about Dean's misery in s7 but it's dealt with pragmatically, almost implacably; more ott than the show went on some details, but the overall vibe is nevertheless: they will get through it because this is who they are. I appreciate that always and forever. He's the one with the secret, now. He hadn't meant it to be that way. But Sam asked Dean to trust him, and Dean said okay because he was sorry for using the F-word. Sorry for putting that look on Sam's face, for making him feel like a freak, the way he hadn't been for laying him out with his fist. It's ridiculous, how he still folds like a house of cards where Sam's concerned, no matter how many times he's told himself he won't do it again. But now he's stuck with the lie, and has no one to blame but himself.

That's probably enough to be going on with. If you read these, please leave a comment to tell the author that you appreciate their work, because it should be appreciated.