#this is the first time ive answered one of these on desktop instead of on mobile and omg the santa emoji on desktop is SO CUTE

[good-enemy]

ah okay that makes sense! im a big fan of sugar cookies because then you can make them any shape you and and decorate them to be cute little snowmen or something. AND it can be a nice family experience (at least it is in our house)! It's special making them and special eating them 😊 If you could have Maisie shoot a video for a song which song would it be? or alternatively do you have a different concept idea for a video she has already shot? 🎅

oh yeah so true i love baking, i havent had chance to yet :( but we bought some christmas cupcake mix and i think yule log mix so that should be fun! :) we've tried gingerbread houses in the past but they always go to shit and we're all perfectionists so it's not even fun lmaoooo

love him i dont has very picturesque(?) lyrics so that would be a really pretty mv! i also think villain would be kind of fun to watch but maybe im just cruel - there isn't a proper music video for cates brother, right, its just the live one? ik that is technically a music video but it sucks i want her to act out the lyrics :(

[manyblinkinglights]

anytaur quarstion

Sorry im doing this thru a submission instead of an ask bc i want bigger text limit and also to insert images... clarity and allat. i hope thats ok...

Recently i got an actuual headset for vrc so that i could Physically Become the Beast of my Dreams. your rig is everything to me and makes me so so happy. ive wanted this forever. i cant thank you enough for this. main thing im having to fiddle with now in specific is forefoot pickup! didn't make much sense to bother with it back when i was desktop only but having tried it now with actual real hands, the whimsy is impeccable. hands still feel a bit weird though, and im almost certain i messed with something i shouldnt have in trying to set it up, so I thought it might make sense to ask you abt it considering you designed the system and probably have more insight! I'd try for figuring it out myself thru trial and error, but i am very new to vr and having to go in and out to tweak and rebuild avatar versions seems disastrously tiring. and i dont think i'd have much luck trying to fiddle with unity through a vr virtual desktop @~@ time is money....i miss unemployment...so I hoped this could expedite some of that trial+error+rebuilding time. maybe. god. longass preamble over.

point being: in the recent (~6mo ago...) setup videos you did, i feel like the "A" pose you got for your sample models is generally more "A" shaped than what my beast has procured. This may be on account of my beast being quite lanky and having long as hell forearms and quite short shoulders and upper arms. in addition, by default, just moving them down on the global y axis like on the script instructions, the SenseHand receivers end up in a weird position compared to the paws, atleast based on what i think i am picking up from the script instructions. image below.

please ignore the shit ass weight painting/distortion for the paw im new to doing 3d models, im honestly just impressed this thing exists at all.

anyways in the image (front isometric) the right paw (viewer's right not model's right) is set to the values you recommend in your setup video, and the other one is unchanged from default rotation just as a baseline i guess.

Anyways my real question boils down to: what might you recommend to focus on in tweaking forefoot pickup? would rotating thigh and/or shin pickups to better match an "A" pose make sense? Should I move the SenseHands on X axis to be more better "Held" like it says in the instructions? is it ok if the sensehands fall into the floor from "A" pose?

regardless, thank you for your time, dedication, and willingness to share both. this project has been living rent free in my brain ever since i first saw the vrc horse speedrun on youtube (exactly what i had been looking for after god knows how long looking around) and desperately checked your youtube page to see what else you'd been up to. i think that was around or just before when the LittleKitty port video was recent or new, so it's stuck with me for atleast 2 years and i hope to still interface with this rig for many more years to come! please dont feel pressured to a response either lol, i understand if you dont really have a good suggestion or answer. im sorry if i overwhelm you with wall of text. here is an image of the beast in action to hopefully warm the spirits MUCH LOVE!

[middleschoolfursona]

literal tears are running down my face as i scroll thru your blog. on it it it feels like im back home.

i just wanna go back man. i just wanna be a kid running around on feralheart and drawing my ocs again and watching silly movies with my friends. it feels like im living a lie every single day of my life since then.

it hurts and fills me with so much shame to say that i feel like a kid, like i stopped mentally aging in like 2012, 2014 at the latest. the dysphoria is strangling. i dont want to describe it but yeah it sucks so bad.

i cant tell anyone in my life this in detail. cus i can feel the callouts. the sneers. the performative disgust. the gleeful hatred. everyone turning on me and making me into a joke. but this experience is so viscerally terrible and real and i cant just get over it and i cant choose to get better. i hate it.

youre the first person ive ever seen who seemed like theyd actually understand and its just overwhelming bcus it felt like i was completely alone. so i just wanted to say thanks for the catharsis of showing me im not beyond understanding. but im sorry if this is all selfish or upsetting. the last thing i wanna do is hurt or upset anyone, so feel free to ignore and delete.

thank you for ur blog and i hope you have a great day/week/month/year/life/forever <3

anon, im so so sorry i didnt answer this one sooner. i kept thinking, "when i get on desktop" but i never ended up back on desktop until i got this new monitor (win!)

i totally feel you, im glad i can bring you (though maybe bittersweet) comfort.

dysphoria and even feelings of 'transness' in places of identity other than gender and sex absolutely exist and are valid, and its really too bad its so stigmatized. you have my <3 and you have my thoughts. its tough, and theres more of us than youd think, hopefully, its an amount that comforts you... and i hope, you can find people who relate to you and you can share trust with and happy memories.

"performative disgust' is a topic i bring up a lot in this kinda discoursing. if i may, its pretty western too.. the need to be combative causes a strange sort of lash-out-culture, where people arent even neccisarily uninformed, its a lack of desire to be informed at all, and instead perform hatred for the acknowledgement of their peers. id know. it was me once. terrible and toxic situation, but its eaten the internet in many spaces....

its tough feeling trapped, unable to move forwards and feeling like youre "wrong". being disabled and growing up disabled makes those kinds of remarks and implications said by some people extra painful to me. and i know lots of us who feel dysphoria surrounding our facets of the self, both gender or non-gender, are neurodivergant as well, and as someone who was in special education, and then my school dropped me by force because i just "wouldnt" do my math, i know how painful it can feel both inside, but then to come forward and have people act like "just move forward" "just understand" "well you can never go back so just be here instead"... its painful.

i hope that between the time you sent this and now, youvbe found someone to be open to... if not, you can send me your discord off anon (wont pub) and we can chat there if you need it... youre certainly not alone anon, just the haters want you to feel that way. dont give in. do your best!

[ellegaard]

hhhow do you do this whole rp thing i kinda started a blog and it got absolutely ignored (pamabutnormalthistime)

probably didnt missed a step idk ive never done it before

I'm sending you the biggest of hugs, anon- starting a new blog is equal parts scary and exciting!! I’m sorry that you haven’t gotten the response you’ve been wanting; I just got the chance to go follow you (yippee!!!) and I also hope this answer can serve as a promo for @pamabutnormalthistime too!! 💜☺️ I put my long answer under a readmore for you!!

The Tumblr roleplay community (you might see this get referred to as the rpc!!) is really fun thing to be a part of, even if it’s daunting to join for the first time!! A lot of making a new blog is subject entirely to what you want it to have- but there are little features you can add that’ll help you organize things to your liking!!

When I started here it was my first ever time making any sort of rp blog- a lot of the beginner’s guides I found were older and spoke about processes that aren’t used as much in roleplay today!! This handy post here explains a lot of the terminology that you might see floating around- and this guide on the same blog walks you through some of the basics too!!

Your blog can be anything you want it to be! If you want it to have an aesthetic sort of theme that fits your muse (character), there are loads of custom HTML themes out there that you can apply to your blog on desktop!! But it’s also okay if you don’t add a theme too- you can let your writing speak for itself!

Some things that I found really helpful to add to this blog were a Rules post, an About post, and a small Mun section talking a bit about me!! Rules pages aren’t necessary, but they’re really helpful for setting boundaries for what sorts of things you are or aren’t okay with on your blog!! (An example is “Will/won’t respond to NSFW asks, please don’t hound for replies unless it’s been one week…") It’s a nice way to keep yourself safe, and also detail how you’ll be writing with anything that gets sent in! (And it's also a nice way for you to quickly learn about any pages you'd like to interact with!) 💜

An About post (or page) can be really helpful for detailing basic information about your muse!! If you’re writing a canon-divergent version of a character, or you have a special backstory that you’ve fleshed out, this section is a wonderful place to put it!! Having an About post can help others see how you’ve made your muse your own, and it can be really exciting to type out even small mundane facts (like height, eye color) to give your character more life!! Some roleplayers also like to include a list of verses in their About section- if you create different universes for your muse from interacting with different medias, or exploring different AUs in your character's story, it can be a nice place to keep track of them all!!

Having a section about you (the mun!!) can be helpful too, but it’s entirely based on your comfort!! A lot of roleplayers will include basic information on themselves (like age, general activity levels, etc…)

You don’t have to include a Mun section, and you’re never obligated to give out any information about yourself!! (You can always use my Mun page- or any of my other pages- as a template for your own!! I won’t mind!! 💜😊)

Once you’re happy with how your blog is formatted, you can consider making a promo for your blog!! A promo can be any post that helps advertise your blog to other roleplayers, and it doesn’t have to be complicated or anything fancy! (Here is an example of the promo I made for this blog, which is in character and pretty simple!! This is an example of a promo I made for a newer blog of mine, which keeps things short and lists off the basics of the blog! Because my rp blogs are sideblogs, me liking a thread will show my main has liked it instead of the actual rp blog- so until Tumblr allows us to change blogs before we like things, I always like to give people I’m interacting with a heads up that the random personal blog in their notifications is still me!! 😊)

A promo doesn’t have to be either of those things, though- it can be something as simple as “Like/Reblog this post if you’re interested in writing with [character]”, and it’ll still do just as fine!! One of the best things about promos is that other rp blogs can reblog them to help boost your exposure!!! (Which I can guarantee will be happening on my end!! 😌)

Something else you might want (but 100% don't have to get!!) is XKit Rewritten!! It's a plugin for your browser designed specifically for Tumblr, and has a whole host of features that you can use to customize your scrolling experience!! I use it specifically for the "Trim Reblogs" option, which lets me trim threads I've been writing with others to keep them short when they go across people's dashes!! (You might've seen some threads on my blog that seem to start with my mutual's last reply, and only feature my add on- that's the work of the trimming feature!! It cuts out all the earlier replies from the reblog, but they're still accessible!)

If you're interested, you can add it for Chrome here and for Firefox here!! (*It's super important to add XKitRewritten and not any other versions- XKitRewritten is designed specifically for the version of Tumblr we have right now, and other versions are older and might not cooperate!!)

If you notice some of the colors in my writing (such as the shade of red I use for Ellie's dialogue, or the other colors you might see in this post) are different from the default options Tumblr gives you, that's because I'm using https://roleplayformatter.carrd.co!! It's not a necessity, but I like pasting my writing in there and copying the source code to add new colors to my writing, and help me format things in one place!! (It's fun to type into, but it doesn't save your writing!! 😂 So it only gets what I'm getting ready to post when there's another copy somewhere!!)

And these are just some of the basics!! There are other things you can add if you’d really like to! (Like icons, which you might’ve seen me use on here from time to time- small pictures of your character that you can use to display their expressions and little mannerisms!! I like to think of icons as sprinkles- they’re never a necessity, and the main flavor focus is really your wonderful writing! But they can frame and accompany what you write if you’d like them to! 💜)

Assets (like the red stone border at the very top of this answer!) can be made yourself, gathered from source blogs like @animatedglittergraphics-n-more, or even requested/commissioned from resource blogs!! I make all of my assets myself in PicsArt, and it’s a lot of fun- but also something I know everyone might not have the energy or time to do!! If icons and assets aren't for you, that's okay- it's never stopped me from interacting with anyone before!!

I hope this beast of an answer helps you out, and I especially hope it doesn’t seem too complicated- I think the Tumblr rpc can be for anyone and everyone, and I’m so excited to go check out your blog after I post this!! 💜💜 You’re always welcome back here (whether that’s on anon or in DMS!!) if there’s anything else I can help you out with, or if you’d just like to say hello!! I hope you have a really wonderful rest of your day- I’m so excited to write with you sometime!! ☺️

[yoontothemoon]

kites and string

pairing: choi seungcheol x daughter of hecate. words: 1145. genre: percy jackson au.  summary: several demigods trapped on the island of ogygia sent to the dogs like maze runner, facing the dangers of the island. an instance in which seungcheol does what he can to keep his people alive until they are rescued. this is the story of the four times she touched him and the one time he touched her. yoon notes: i’ve had this in drafts... i’m trying to work through things. i’ve come back to writing because things in my life are not great right now. hi. ☽ probably viewed best on desktop.

there were moments where they expected to never make it out. never see what was beyond the borders of the island. borders of the little game that she decided to play. the island where calypso was banished to. ogygia. but to the lost it was hell and not just the island that they learned at camp or school.

the island where calypso had held odysseus captive for seven long years.  

one would have never expected this to exist, although none expected demigods to exist either. funny how this was part of it. this was a part of the danger that they experienced. they were stolen away and made to play a part in whatever whim the new owner of the island wished. they were her play things, children born of gods and mortals, much more pliable than mortals alone. they were just play things, but of course demigods weren’t the only ones.

there were monsters.

seungcheol thought it was hilarious, or rather he didn't. he found it almost strange in a way, outside of what he had known. sure, he admitted to learning first hand because he had to in this hellscape where there was danger at every turn.

when he first arrived on the island, it felt abnormal to him. it was like a nightmare come to life. the low tone voices in his head and the spread of dissent through the ranks because of his unknown parentage.

he was made to be a leader; the person who everyone turned to for answers. he fell into the position with a furrowed brow. he led the charge, he learned how to fight and lose people—to feel accountable to someone else aside from himself. he wished that half of them had survived.

but she survived.

a lone daughter of hecate on this messed up island. she was the one that everyone was scared of. the one that they called the ghost, but truly she was as lost as anyone else was. seungcheol knew and he knew that she was as terrified as anyone else. to seungcheol, she needed him like anyone else. and to that daughter of hecate, seungcheol needed her because she was constant.

i.

his head was turned, looking away as another kid dropped dead from the poisoned water. the kid had told him  that they had survived in a place like this, and seungcheol had stupidly trusted that—a mistake he would never make again, that he couldn’t make again. 

his voice is low, and rough. “we keep moving.” the kids in the small group he had taken on (they were new, and had coerced him into helping them when he was by now only wanting to keep himself and maybe a few others alive), horrified, slowly starting making their way forward, continuing on the path.

honestly, he had hoped that it wasn’t poison. he had expected there to be a kelpie dragging them under. it would have been less painful, less to witness as they trudged along the path. he has been here too long to hope for the best.

he counts the heads.

he stays behind, and faintly, he feels a light touch on his shoulder. she’s still with him, he realizes. she’s so quiet sometimes, and while he can feel her presence generally, it still surprises him.

slowly, the tension in his shoulders slinks off of him, and all that bravado comes out with a sigh. once he’s sure there’s a solid enough distance between them and the kids, but enough that he can still see them, they start walking again.

it’s the first time she’s ever done that. a part of him wishes he didn’t think it would be the only time.

ii.

she touches his back lightly as they look out over the land. the first time that they had climbed about the jungle. they were barely keeping afloat. there was a grimace too, he hates how it reminds him of all the exotic poisonous animals he learned about in school: pretty to look at, but poisonous. gods, he hated how everything was fucking poisonous.

they weren’t going to be here for long, but the break was needed. they had gone too far and too long for them to overcome this now.

it takes a lot of effort to keep his muscles from tensing when he feels her hand on his back—almost barely there. he wants to touch her back, but he knows that’s a lost cause in his heart.

so he lives in the moments. he closes his eyes and hopes for the best regardless of how exhausted they all were. at least they weren’t being hunted.

at least they had that.

iii.

some kid is taking them off the island. all of them, all of the ones that survived despite the circumstances. there are so many people he recognizes but doesn’t care for. instead of thinking of how fortunate it is that they’re all alive, or praying, the only thought running through his mind is that there’s too many people.

she could phase through the boat and get lost. so he makes sure to kick his feet up and let out a growl when people try to get too close.

faintly, he can feel someone squeeze his arm. he doesn’t have to look to know who it is, and he doesn’t hide the faint flicker of a smile.

iv. / v.

they got separated for a few days arriving at the camp. they made him go to the other camp for a while, to “sort out things” because of his parentage. mostly, he was just tense and ready to snap, especially so when people just tried to figure him out. he had spent too much time, too much energy on keeping people alive—so tightly wound. 

it was too much, all at once. he didn’t care that he was a son of zeus or that he was safe. he cared about other people. he cared about how long they had been abandoned and unheard.

they had told him that he had been gone for years.

they had been in a state of limbo.

it was fitting.

it felt like another thing to overcome. trauma. he needed to know where his people were. he needed to know that they were together and safe because they were the only ones that knew what they were going through.

he needed to know where she was.

when he finally gets back to camp she runs to him and hugs him so tightly. it’s so much contact for her, he’s worried for a brief moment that if he responds, she’ll disappear.

slowly, his arms find their way around her torso, and he hugs her. his eyes close and he memorizes how it feels to have her this close.

he feels grounded, no longer just floating in the wind. bloody and broken, she was the string that lead him home.

[tough-girl9]

The Stars To Hold Our Destiny

Summary:  As the brand-new Enterprise-D prepares for its first mission, Captain Picard has a conversation with his new second officer about shift schedules, William Shakespeare, and humanity. "It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves."

Also posted on FFN and AO3

Captain Jean-Luc Picard took an absent sip of earl grey and frowned thoughtfully at the information displaying on his desktop monitor. Behind him, diluted light filtered through the window from Starbase 96 where the Enterprise was currently docked. Tomorrow, they would begin the journey to Farpoint Station, where they were set to rendezvous with the remainder of the assigned crew. On the surface, it seemed like an easy enough mission, but Picard was not convinced it was as simple as it initially appeared. He took another sip and opened the file on Deneb IV and the limited information that Starfleet had provided about the Bandi and their mysterious construction methods.

His perusal was interrupted by a soft chirp from his Ready Room door. "Come in," he called curtly without looking away from the monitor.

The door slid open with a soft hiss, and Picard looked up to find his second officer standing in the doorway. Picard set down his cup of tea. "Ah, Mr. Data, what can I do for you?"

The android approached, stopping directly in front of the desk with a PADD in his hand. "Sir, I have been reviewing my shift assignments for the next two weeks and I believe I have discovered several errors in my schedule."

Picard frowned as he took the PADD, aware of Data's strange, golden stare as he viewed the schedule that he had written up for his senior officers the previous day. Though it was odd, he had little reason to doubt that Data was correct. Yesterday, he'd seen the android at one of the science stations, the screen displaying information at a speed that rendered it nothing but a blur to Picard's human eyes. Data's record files had noted his exceptional abilities to process and analyze information with a speed and accuracy that no organic species could hope to achieve. If there was an error, Data was definitely the one most likely to find it.

No immediate errors presented themselves however as Picard examined Data's duties. It was a standard schedule, splitting Data's time between operations, science, and engineering. The only non-standard element was a higher assignment of night shifts than normal, due to Data's lack of need for sleep. However, Picard had explicitly discussed that point with Data himself yesterday afternoon, and the android had expressed no concern at being assigned the night shift more regularly than his co-workers.

With a brief shake of his head, Picard held the PADD back out to Data. "I'm afraid I don't see anything amiss with your schedule, Mr. Data. What is it exactly that concerns you?"

"Sir, I cannot seem to locate my assigned duties during these shifts." The android pointed to several of the shift slots on the PADD screen.

Picard's frown deepened a little. "Those are your off shifts, Mr. Data."

"Off shifts, Sir?"

Picard set the PADD down and leaned forward. "Yes, Mr. Data, your off shifts. The shifts during which you are not on duty."

"Ah," Data said, his brow lifting. But then he frowned slightly. "Sir, you are aware that I do not require sleep, food, or personal maintenance. Nor do I have the capability of growing bored. I can easily perform self system diagnostics while performing other duties. It would be reasonable for you, Sir, to provide me with assignments during all shifts."

"No, Mr. Data, it would not be reasonable." Data opened his mouth as if to say something, but Picard cut him off, gesturing to the chair across the desk from himself. "Please sit."

The android obeyed immediately and Picard leaned further forward in his own chair, resting his arms on the edge of his desk, as he fixed Data with a stern expression. "Data, you are a Starfleet officer and a valued member of this crew. Simple because you are physically capable of working non-stop does not mean that it is correct to require you to do so. Not only would it be a violation of Starfleet work regulations, but frankly, it would be morally questionable at best. You may not be human, but you deserve the same benefits as your human co-workers."

Data was quiet for a few seconds, his gaze lowered as he seemed to process what Picard had just said. Then his golden eyes flickered back up to meet Picard's. "But what should I do when I am not assigned on duty?"

Picard's eyebrows rose in disbelief. "Don't you have hobbies, Mr. Data? Personal interests and pursuits?"

"No, Sir."

Picard blew his cheeks out, glanced over at Livingston swimming lazy circles in his tank, then looked back at his second officer. "Well then, do you have any goals, any dreams, anything you want to accomplish, anything you want to explore?"

"I wish to be the best Starfleet officer I am capable of being," Data answered. When Picard made a slight harrumph in his throat, the android quickly continued. "However." He paused and his steady, emotionless gaze wavered for a split second as he hesitated. "However," he repeated and continued, his voice soft, "I have also always had a desire to understand humanity, and, if possible, to one day become human myself."

Picard had only met Data slightly over twenty-four hours ago, and the android's impassive face and eyes made him hard to read, but there was something about the way Data had hesitated before his admission, along with the way he was now staring at Picard even more intently, as if searching for a reaction from his captain, that gave Picard the sneaking suspicion that Data had been mocked in the past upon revealing this particular dream.

Something hard settled in Picard's chest. His hand balled into a fist on the desk as he leaned further forward, making sure he had Data's full attention, his voice stern. "Data, aboard the Trieste, were you required to work every shift?"

There was another slight hesitation from Data. Then he said softly, "Yes, Sir, I was. However, I was willing to do so. As I have said, it seemed reasonable to me to increase the productivity aboard the Trieste by utilizing my extraordinary abilities."

"Whether or not you were willing does not matter," Picard said firmly. "They took advantage of you, Data, and violated several Starfleet work regulations by doing so." Data opened his mouth, but Picard raised his hand. "And yes, I realize you are a unique situation, but that still does not make it right. The work regulations apply to all Federation species, and while you may be unique, you are still a living being with the same rights as anyone else aboard a starship."

His voice became low and earnest. "You say you wish to understand humans and to grow in your own humanity. Well, use your off duty times to do just that. Talk to your fellow crewmates, make friends, visit the holodeck, find things you enjoy doing. I don't know how possible your dream is, Data, but if it is possible in even the slightest degree, that is how you will achieve it, not by running scans and data analysis every hour of the day and night."

His gaze softened minutely. "Do you understand, Mr. Data?"

Data nodded. "Yes, Sir, I believe I do." He stood and gave Picard another polite nod of acknowledgement then turned back towards the door, clearly having calculated that the conversation was over.

For a moment, Picard thought it was as well. Then, almost to his own surprise, he found himself standing. "Mr. Data."

The android turned back towards him, eyebrows arched in a silent question.

Picard walked out from behind his desk and to his bookshelf. For a second, he skimmed over the row of books before he found the one he wanted and pulled it off the shelf. He smiled faintly, running his fingers over the brown leather cover and the engraved title on the front. Then he turned back to his second officer.

"This was given to me by one of my professors at Starfleet Academy. It's one of my favorite books and most valued possessions. I'd like to give it to you, Data."

Data took the book gently and examined the title. "Selected Works of William Shakespeare," he read.

Picard smiled. "One of the greatest playwrights and poets of Earth. You want to understand humanity, Data, well look no further. You'll find it all in there. Greed, Ambition, Despair, but also Hope, Humor, Love. The entire stage of the human condition."

Data looked up from the book. "Thank you, Sir."

"Read it," Picard continued. "But, not the way you usually read things. Take your time with it, think about it, think about yourself. And if you like, I'd be happy to discuss each piece with you and talk about what you discover."

"Yes, Sir. I would like that very much, Sir."

Picard watched Data exit the Ready Room, until the doors slid back closed and he was left alone once again. He took a sip of his tea, still gazing at the door, then turned back to his desktop monitor. The file about Deneb IV was still on the screen, but instead of continuing with the information for the mission, he opened a new screen.

Picard spent the next hour writing a very sternly-worded report to the work regulations department at Starfleet.

[norabrice1701]

An Offer Received - Part V

A Jaguar Villain Tom Hiddleston Character (Thomas Conrad) fanfic 

Pairing: Thomas Conrad x Fem!Reader 

Summary: In which Mr. Conrad makes his move and you have a front row seat. 

Rating: Controlling behavior, f-bombs, Conrad being Conrad 

Previously: Part IV - 5 Minutes 

GIF credit to the original poster via the Tumblr search! (just, you know, replace the t-shirt with a bespoke suit) 

Part V - 5 Days 

You hadn’t slept well in days now.

Your wrists had ached long after he released the knots of his tie, the discomfort a constant reminder of that afternoon and everything it represented. If your night in his bed had felt like surrender, that afternoon felt like the ultimate submission. He seemed unbearably pleased with himself when you both dropped to his desktop, exhausted, sticky, and heaving for breath. 

But the fallout from that encounter had been equally as disturbing. 

Even through the humiliation of answering his questions and the mind-numbing pulse of pleasure, you didn’t forget that he had sacrificed a meeting to be with you, offering you your first glimpse at a timeline.

“Believe me, this time next week - it won’t matter.”

Of course, you could figure out the implications. It wouldn’t matter because the world as everyone knew it would...would just...cease to exist? Change? Upend? You didn’t have an accurate word for what he would do. 

But that wasn’t the worst part - the worst part was waiting. And continuing to wait. And now…? Now, two weeks had passed since he uttered that statement. Had something happened? Did you miss his great revolution? Had someone betrayed him? You didn’t understand, and you didn’t dare ask.

And, to make things worse - five days had also passed since Sebastian Barnes disappeared.

Honest-to-God disappeared. No one had heard from him. His flat was pristine, undisturbed. His car parked in its assigned spot. The office security cameras recorded him leaving and his car pulling away, but after that…well. It was anyone’s guess and the police had no leads. Simmons had been doing a decent job serving as interim Head of IT, but he couldn’t wait for his boss to return.

You didn’t dare ask Conrad about him, either. But of course, you suspected him. Between binding your wrists and his innovative use of cufflinks, he made clear his displeasure over Barnes’ treatment of you. Sure, Conrad was hellbent on world domination, but was he really the type of man to make men disappear? To murder?

A chill ran down your spine as you glanced to Conrad’s closed double doors. It made sense that he’d have to get his hands dirty to achieve world domination. But did Sebastian Barnes really pose that much of a threat?

You took a sip of your coffee, trying to push your sleep-deprived thoughts aside and glancing at the clock. 6:46 am. Plenty of time to run through your inbox before starting on the day’s to-do’s. And you needed to be on your game today – you were attending a production strategy meeting in three hours. Sure, it was Barton’s department now, but you still watched it like a hawk, taking extra pride in its continual success.

You recognized the hissing hinge of Conrad’s doors, the click of the handle closing. It was second nature to glance up, offering a polite smile as you waited for his instruction or request.

Even now, it still amazed you how he looked flawless every day without end. Today’s suit was a sleek charcoal that reflected an almost dark navy under the office lighting. A pocket square matched the crisp, pristine white of his shirt. He approached your desk, smoothing the front of his jacket and fastening the front button. His gaze met yours, sharp and bright. “Time to go, darling.”

Time to go? Wasn’t the work day just starting? You shook your head, smile faltering. “I don’t understand, sir. Your first meeting isn’t until 9 am.”

“Time to leave this world behind.” The corner of his mouth curved. “Time to build anew.”

The words stunned you. This was actually it? Today was the day? Your heart leapt and your stomach lurched as you struggled to form a thought. “Today?”

“Right now, in fact. No time to waste.”

You glanced to your desk, numb. Did you grab your laptop or coffee? Perhaps purse and phone? What would be left to come back to after…well, after. You didn’t even have a clue where you were going.

“You needn’t worry about any of your things. You won’t need them.”

The surety of his voice unnerved you. And, yet, moved you to action. You pushed up from your seat, grabbing your coffee tumbler. You couldn’t handle this without more caffeine. He started in a brisk clip for the door, reaching to hold it open for you. You passed through without acknowledging the gesture, feeling his hand quickly fall to the small of your back, steering you through the maze of office corridors.

Eventually, you reached the south end of the main building and he pushed the button for the service elevator. You knew better than to ask, despite the rising tide of anxious nerves that threatened to reject your last drink of coffee. Instead, you took a deep breath and another sip as he led you into the elevator confines.

He extracted a slim key from his pocket, inserting into a keyhole as he pressed the ‘LD’ button three times. A rather puzzling gesture. The loading dock was the lowest level for the service elevator, and only the employee elevators went the next two levels down to the parking garage.

His soft chuckle startled you as the key disappeared back into his suit. “You needn’t look so worried. Or, perhaps, it’s confusion? Either way, you’ll have your answers soon enough.”

You wanted to smart off. To tell him just how unhelpful that was. But you just swallowed another mouthful of coffee instead and told him what he surely wanted to hear. “Yes, sir.”

The elevator doors slid open to reveal…to reveal - 

You nearly tripped over your feet, bowled over at the sight before you. The elevator had opened onto a platform overlooking a covered dock on the water of the city harbor that berthed a sharp, sleek submarine. A small group of people moved about, bustling ropes, hefting boxes, calling out actions. The forward most hatch on the bow was open and a box emblazoned with ‘Dole Bananas’ rested beside it, the yellow fruit bright in the glow of high-pressure sodium lights.

This had to be it. The Operation ‘Blue Sea’ submarine prototype. Sure, Conrad had continued to funnel funds into the project account, but it had never occurred to you that he was actually pursuing the submarine - outfitting it to be his…well, his hideout, his floating command center, his place to stage global change.

Conrad’s amused chuckle sounded low in your ear. “Close your mouth, my dear.” His hand fell again to the small of your back, a guiding gesture. “Can’t have you catching flies before we cast off.”

Your feet moved of their own accord down the metal stairs as he followed swiftly on your heels. “You can’t be serious…that – that is your plan? Surely, we’ll never make it out of the harbor.” You scrambled to recall what you knew of submarine films. “There have to be submarine nets...radar, sonar….”

“And I’m insulted you haven’t given my development team enough credit.” His voice carried just above the din of preparations. “Operation ‘Blue Sea’ was conceived with the sole purpose of developing a stealth, reconnaissance submarine befitting the modern technological age. And we’ve had four years to perfect it ever since the government decided it wasn’t a practical investment.”

You stared at the gleaming black hull, at the sail that rose to an intimidating height. Claustrophobia had never afflicted you before, but you’d never been on a submarine. Your head went light at the prospect of being confined in that tube beneath the crushing ocean depths.

He stopped short, turning towards you with a questioning gaze. “Your watch, please.”

Suddenly the weight of your LOKI smartwatch felt like lead as you held it up yet drew it protectively towards your chest. “What for?”

His nimble fingers reached for your wrist, efficiently undoing the clasp and pulling your watch free. It dropped to the metal with a clink before he brought the heel of a pristine oxford down on the watch face.

You jolted as it cracked under the blow, and again as he brought his heel down a second time. The screen winked to black and he stooped to retrieve it. 

“No unauthorized GPS devices.” He tossed the damaged watch casually into the dark water of the submarine bay. 

You sighed, overwhelmed at the situation. Lamely, you waved your metal, insulated coffee tumbler. “What about this? Maybe there’s a hidden GPS tracking device in here...”

He arched a brow, impossible to tell whether in displeasure or disbelief. Maybe both. “You’re welcome to keep it if you can climb ladders with only one hand.” 

Your gaze stole up to the sail and the access ladder, watching a sailor scale up to the top. You knew what waited on the other side. Another ladder...one that led nowhere but inside.

Coffee wasn’t strong enough right now. You really needed tequila or bourbon. 

Raising the tumbler to your lips, you downed the rest of the dark, bitter liquid. You chucked the empty tumbler aside, hearing the metal exterior connect with the metal decking. You licked the last drop from your lips. “Well, you said no time to waste.” 

His eyes wrinkled with tells of amusement as the corners of his mouth pulled to a faint smirk. The tip of his tongue darted out to wet his lips as he lifted a hand gallantly towards the gangway. “Ladies first.” 

You tried not to focus on the murky water as you stepped onto the serrated metal, gripping the handrails as you felt the gangway roll with the bobbing submarine. Conrad followed right behind you, raising one hand in a signaled gesture to the dock workers. 

No turning back now. 

The kitten heel of your pumps plinked off the hull as you navigated the unsteady surface to the sail ladder. With one hand in front of the other, you started to climb. Thank god you wore slacks today. A hand extended at the top of the ladder, and you accepted the sailor’s steadying grip as you stepped off. The gentle swaying motion of the submarine was far more pronounced at this height, and you hoped seasickness wouldn’t set in. 

“After you, miss.” The sailor motioned down at the open hatch, an almost inviting glow emanating from it, offsetting the hull’s dark exterior. 

Your gaze caught Conrad’s as you stepped onto the ladder. He looked so impossibly pleased that you wanted to punch him. Maybe you could try later. 

Taking one step at a time, you descended into the calm buzzing activity below. You weren’t entirely sure what you expected of the interior - all you had to go on were Hollywood movies. But the control room was whitewashed clean, lined with some of the expected pipes and valving, but banks of sleek consoles and display screens dominated the space. A small uniformed crew hunched over stations, giving status reports to a central man who stood, coordinating the controlled chaos. No one paid you any mind as you stepped off the ladder, moving to one side. 

You studied the openings in the bulkheads that extended both fore and aft, but you had no clue what lay in front or behind. Would you even have free reign of the submarine? Would you be treated as a guest? A prisoner? 

Conrad stepped onto the landing beside you, and the groaning squeak of metal sounded above you. With a gasp, you looked up just in time to see the last vestiges of exterior light swallowed up by the black hatch, the watertight lock mechanism sealing into place. 

“Lion and Fox secure.” The man - supposedly the captain - standing front and center called into his radio. “Prepare to set sail.” 

Conrad stepped up to the man, conversing in low tones that you couldn’t quite make out. As best you could tell, the man took his orders from Conrad, of course. 

“Very good, captain,” Conrad said louder, stepping back, “take us down and blackout mode, if you please.” 

The captain opened a shipwide channel, sounding the order for dive preparations. The blaring of a klaxon horn made you jump as you stiffened, squeezing your eyes shut. You really didn’t want to know the minute the ship slipped beneath the waves - the thought of nothing but these walls between you and endless water….

“Darling, breathe,” Conrad’s gentle, soothing voice sounded in your ear, “in and out, slowly. Just breathe. You’re going to be alright.” 

“Am I?” Your words rushed out. “We’re in a fucking prototype submarine. How do you know it’ll even work! How...how can we already be diving...we haven’t even left the dock - are you sure it’s deep enough-” 

“Shh, now,” his arm wrapped around your waist, both in comfort and warning, “it won’t do for you to make a scene.” He tugged you along at his side, turning to the captain. “You know your course.” 

You let yourself be pulled along through the forward bulkhead, leaving the steady buzz of the control room behind. A narrow corridor along the curved hull snaked along a collection of rooms that stretched to the hull’s other side. He opened the first door, guiding you in. 

The room that greeted you looked so unassumingly ordinary. Half office, half living room - crisp furnishings, clean walls, and pleasant decor. If it weren’t for the couple of camouflaged pipes and the rushing sound of ballast tanks emptying - you could almost, almost believe that you were back in your office. 

“I’ll forgive you this once,” Conrad started softly, “but do not publicly cast doubt on my plans again. This prototype, as you called it, has made over thirty dives. I’ve personally overseen the testing of every system on board, and accompanied her through trials in open water. We’ve already proved all of the city’s best anti-submarine defenses inept.” He pulled you tighter against him, his scent wrapping around you. “I have not come so far, so close, to leave anything to chance at this late hour.” 

You looked up at him, still reminding yourself to breathe. “How long?” 

“How long...will we be at sea, or can we stay at sea?” 

You didn’t like the implication of the last option, but you had to know. “Both.” 

“We will be at sea for five days, but we are well provisioned to stay at sea for three months, if needs must.” 

“Three months?” How was that even possible? How could you go for three months without touching solid land? Without escaping him, without….without…. 

Soft lips pressed to your forehead. “There, there…just keep breathing.”

“What…what am I supposed to do? I-I’ll surely go crazy just sitting around here….”

He pulled back with a quizzical look. “Then, why would I continue to pay you?” He motioned towards the desk, and you registered the presence of a laptop. “You’ll find a remote connection to your office laptop. LOKI’s resources are at your disposal just as they ever were.”

You struggled to understand. Did he really just expect you to keep working...like it was any other day? “I don’t get it,” you looked back to him, “won’t LOKI have to take a hit or go down or something…in order for you to rise up?”

His brow furrowed. “Well, that would certainly be a waste. Especially considering that LOKI will need a new CEO in short order. My attention can only be divided so many ways.”

You froze on his words, stunned at the implications. Were you presumptuous enough to actually ask…?

He could probably see the question swirling in your eyes. Especially if the grin that teased his lips was any indication. “A new CEO who understands all the company’s workings and has set upon building a strategy of success that should only continue to flourish.”

“You can’t…fuck, you can’t be serious.”

He winked and turned around just as quick. You almost had to second-guess yourself – he had fucking winked.

His voice carried over his shoulder as he reached for the door handle. “Best of luck with today’s production strategy meeting.” 

Silence descended and you wanted to scream. 

What the fuck?

Up Next: Part VI - 5 Empires 

[feel199x]

to protect our district— 09

TO PROTECT OUR DISTRICT — CH. 09; THE DEVIL

I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX masterlist

♟ ceo!hwang hyunjin, mafia boss!hwang hyunjin, mafia!au

♟ summary: basically this vine

♟ warnings: trauma symptoms, minor character death, depictions of blood and fighting, angst, themes of sexism

♟ a/n: i’ve been gone for a while but!! as a gift, this chapter is twenty three pages long!! i promise i’m doing my best to update, there’s just been a lot going on! thank you for all the support, thank you for keeping my passion for writing alive!! ALSO trying out a new format!! let me know if u like it!!

♟ song rec: believe what you want, blue rose, & painting

 You gripped the side of your desk, inconspicuously shoving the slip of paper in your mouth. You weren’t stupid enough to throw it away, and definitely not stupid enough to keep it on your person. Were you going to go? You didn’t know, and you definitely didn’t want to have to make any more life-threatening decisions if you could help it.

 There was something sort of comforting about a monotonous life like the one you were pretending to live. Always knowing what was going to happen, doing simple things like organizing schedules, sending faxes, and making spreadsheets.

 You’d like to imagine you had lived the type of life and family dynamics that you had seen from time to time on television. It hadn’t occurred to you that this type of life wasn’t normal, not until very, very recently. How was it fair that most people’s problem consisted of what to wear, what they looked like, the drama between friends and what the latest text from their romantic partner actually means. You wanted that type of simpler life, you wanted more knowledge when you were a child. You felt stupid, you wanted to scold yourself and you want to yell and tell that child how stupid, foolish and utterly naive she was.

 But that child needs sympathy and protection, just like you still do.

 It was all getting too much the more you thought about, making your head spin.

 Your eyes were burning, and it could have very well been from staring at your desktop screen instead of actually doing anything. Something just felt wrong, and you didn’t know what. It was like a clock striking the final hour, and all it could say was wrong! with every chime. Your head was drooping, exhaustion lulling you even as paranoia consumed you. The sound of carousel music jolted you awake, making your desk chair squeak as several coworkers took a quick glance at you. And for a brief second, you swore you saw Sir Hwang and his record player. He was there, and then he wasn’t. Your sanity was slipping for you. You rubbed your eyes, shaking your head as your fingers hovered over the keyboard. Getting up, you smoothed your pencil skirt as you found yourself pouring yourself a cup of coffee, your eighth one in the span of two hours.

 You should’ve been off your rocker, being able to complete more than what was tasked to you that day. And you were- off your rocker that is, but in a different way. All this caffeine coursing in your blood made it impossible for you to sleep, even as your eyes drooped and your body begged. And yet, you were hyperaware. Every noise, the rustling of paper, the tapping of paper, the hum of the printers, all of it echoed in your brain.

 You watched as everyone leave for the lunch break, and you slipped into a leaving crowd of people who didn’t work on your floor. The elevator filled up with people and you crouched down, pulling a hoodie over your head and tucking your hair into the back. You moved your way to the front, your coworkers too invested in picking the restaurant that they should go to next. If they were suspicious of what you were doing, you wouldn’t have known. Not now, or later. You tagged along before swiveling into an incoming crowd, going back into the building.

 You’d never been in the surveillance room, and it was locked when you came across it. It was a lot better than having the guards actually in there because you had yet to come up with an excuse or more likely, distraction. You figured they must’ve been on patrol, but still, an uneasiness made your lips tight and chapped. You slipped in after playing with the lock for a minute or two, and you hurried to play with the security footage. Something felt off, definitely off, even if you were unsure of what exactly was wrong. You gave yourself some time to make it to Changbin’s desk, out and then into the building again as if you were returning from lunch with the rest of your coworkers.

 It took you longer than you had wished, and you knew that the guards would have been returning from their rounds. (If that was really, indeed what they were doing.)

   If anyone was to have information about the feds visiting, and more importantly, the trip that you were all soon about to take, it’d have to be him. Sure, he had said that he wanted to help. But you didn’t know if you couldn’t trust him. Hell, you didn’t even know if you could trust Hyunjin. You pulled your gloves on and went through his papers. Until finally, after looking over your shoulder more than a dozen times, you had found a few sheets of loose paper. And though some information was redacted, you rushed over to the copier. Glancing nervously at the ticking clock, there was a lump in your throat as you tapped your foot. Something was wrong. Something was clearly so, so wrong. And yet, you couldn’t make out what it was.

 The copier took forever, and with each somehow delayed second, you grew more and more panicked.

 To make matters worse, Hyunjin hadn’t even come in. You knew he couldn’t have been dead, his father was very adamant of securing his son’s place as an heir, even if that wasn’t what his son particularly wanted. You weren’t afraid that Hyunjin was dead, you were afraid that he was very nearly dead.

 It had only happened a few times before, but that was enough for it to stay lodged in your brain. A fervor hatred like gasoline to a forest fire. You’d never want to see you Hyunjin like that again, face swollen, his identity nearly shrouded with all the blood covering his face. His father had found out that he had skipped several lessons, to be in your company, no less. And he had still been smiling, crawling into your bedroom as you cleaned him up. He had made you laugh when he saw you cry at his pain, telling you not to worry as he winced from the alcohol as you cleaned his cuts.

 Later you had learned that his dad had challenged him to a fight, under the assumption that if Hyunjin had been skipping, it must be because he had surpassed the skill currently being taught.

 Looking back at it now, it made you even more resentful and anxious. So terribly, terribly anxious.

 Your bullet wound was beginning to stick to the inside of your blouse, and growing more uncomfortable as it began to wet your shirt, a growing humid and wet patch starting to grow on your blouse. But you ignored it, telling yourself you could stand it a while longer. Just a while longer until you could slip away and patch it yourself. This wouldn’t be happening if your first response wasn’t aiming to fucking kill you instead of you know, providing actual first aid. You pulled your shirt, swiveling your head to look for Chan’s desk. You couldn’t do much except for wipe the affected area off with tissues so that’s what you did, folding the paper into small squares as you tried to ignore the smell. You furrowed your eyebrows, remembering the last couple days as if it was some sort of fever dream instead of reality because it would’ve been much better if that was, in fact, the case.

 Before you could think- and sometimes you really wish you’d think your actions through- you found yourself walking to Chan’s desk with determination. You leaned over the wall that separated Chan’s cubicle from his coworker, an overwhelming itching sensation coming from

 “Hey, ____, how’s the wound coming? Do you want me to have a look at it later?”

 “Are you sure your boss is going to be okay with it?”

 He blinked, but didn’t miss a beat answering your question, even if he turned towards his computer. “I’m not sure what you’re implying, ____, we’re a team.”

 You placed your hand on his glass desk, sure you’d leave some fingerprints but you didn’t care- and leaned to face him, your face merely a breath away.

 “I’m not a fool, I know where your loyalties lie. But it’s tradition you know, district nine fights for answers.”

 “I’m not going to fight you, ___.”

   “Why not-?”

 He looked straight at you, teeth slightly clenched but his face otherwise blank, “Because you suffered a bullet wound less than a few days ago, and need I remind you- we’re-,” he paused with each word, “a fucking team!”

 “Some shitty team if you were ordered to give me fucking gangrene.”

 He clenched his jaw, furrowing his eyebrows at the computer. He tapped his fingers against his desk a couple of times, leaving behind oily residue from their pads.

 “You wanna fight? Fine. But not here. Have some fucking decency, ____.”

 He leaned back into his chair, pushing it away from you to continue whatever work he was assigned. He was right, in some sense, if you fought here- Sir Hwang would know.

 “But it’s not because I want to, or because I’m guilty of anything,” he said as he began to file a few sheets of paper, “But because I have a feeling you won’t leave until I agree to it. And maybe if you lose, you’ll finally understand that not everybody’s against you.”

 You walked away, dumbfounded. And sat in your desk chair repeating his words in your head until it was finally time to leave. You zoned out staring at Hyunjin’s office, your desktop going dark as your body was finally starting to give in. There was so much to be worried about, and it all felt like it was going to suffocate you. It would’ve been better if Hyunjin was here, just seeing him right now would give you an inexplicable type of comfort. Still, there was an air of guilt around the thought of Hyunjin. Should you tell him before it’s too late? You knew he was aware that something was going on, and you had never been one to keep things from him. It felt like you owed it to him, but you couldn’t be hasty. One wrong move and it’s all gone. It’s all over.

 Your body was beginning to shut down, your shoulder area throbbing and growing more uncomfortable by the second. You should’ve fixed it before everyone had returned from their break, it would’ve cost you this discomfort. But even the thought of someone seeing you walking out with a roll of gauze- the thought of someone seeing you vulnerable- that was too intimidating for you to even risk it.

 The office floor had cleared out without you noticing. Thankfully, you had gone somewhat on autopilot, typing up an email to another company the Hwangs wanted to collaborate with. Jisung leaned across the desk from you, a small smile as he took a peek at your screen.

 “Are you almost done? I didn’t want to leave without you.”

 “I’ll be right down, you can go on ahead. I’ll catch up.”

 “Listen…”

 His voice trailed off and you looked up after you sent the email, raising an eyebrow. “Yes, Jisung?”

 “I heard you were fighting Chan.”

 You grabbed your bag and rubbed your aching heels before slipping them into your flats. “And you think I shouldn’t do it.”

 He fluffed his hair nervously and looked to the side, “I’ve seen him train before, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Considering your condition and all.”

 “You’ve seen him train? You guys know each other?”

 “No- uh, not really? I’ve only sparred with him a couple of times before.”

 “How is that possible? The only other kid I’ve met is Hyunjin, I didn’t even know you guys existed!”

 He pursed his lips, “Listen, let’s talk about this another time. Just, don’t fight him, okay? He won’t think less of you.”

 “To the contrary,” you slipped under the strap of your purse, “he will. You will. Everyone will. There’s a lot I don’t know, but I promise I’m not as weak as you guys think. I’ll prove it.”

 He followed you anxiously, twirling the keys of the van. “I don’t think we should fight, especially not physically-!”

 “What’re you so worried about Jisung? Chan could’ve killed me, I deserve to know why.”

 He looked down, running his fingers along the grooves of the keys. “Just be careful, okay?”

 The tensions were high inside the car. Jisung and Changbin stealing nervous glances towards you and each other. You pretended not to notice. Chan, however, was as calm and poised as ever. He tapped the steering wheel along to the beat of the song. The sun was still to set as you looked out the tinted windows, the sky painted soft watercolors as day dripped into night.  No matter what happened, the world goes on. Everyone you see, holding hands with their lover and walking their dogs, their lives will keep on going. And you wanted to be like them, you yearned to walk a cute dog and hold hands with Hyunjin in a park. It was spring after all, and you’d had very few chances to enjoy it. Before you knew it, the flower’s petals would already have fallen. Summer would pass and the leaves would turn brown and the trees would become bare.

 And then it would come again, it would be spring then summer and winter all over again. Nature knew, nature was never changing and ever-changing all in one, and you? You didn’t even know what would happen within an hour from now. This was not what nature intended.

 You wondered, to yourself, if this was indeed a game. And if it was, were you winning? Right now, who had the upper hand? Who was making the smarter moves? At least in Chess, you could see all the pieces, but you weren’t even sure what your next step would really be.

 In the end, who would be saying checkmate?

 A surge of doubt came across you and you clutched the hem of your skirt, feeling the stitches on the underside. You bit the inside of your cheek. Was your goal in vain?

 The car came to a stop, the opening of doors and jangling keys taking you out of your trance. You didn’t have time to think about it, even if you wanted to. Jisung hurried off with Chan, giving you a nervous smile as he walked in. “We’ll see you in the training room in the west wing.” Changbin lingered behind, walking by your side. “You’ve probably never been by there, right? I’ll go with you.”

 You nodded, thanking him in your head. He followed you as you walked to your family’s small part of the estate, your hand was on the doorknob before you suddenly remembered.

 “Sorry Changbin, I just remembered I keep my training stuff in the North Hall. You ever been there?”

 He nodded, “Only a couple times, by accident. Do you really think you can win this spar?”

 The both of you hurried along, “I do. Or, at the very least, give him a hell of a time.” He gave you a small smile, keeping along with you as you broke into a run for the north hall. You reached the room where you were scheduled to train. Without having to ask, Changbin turned around as you stumbled around to change. You ignored the dizziness and nausea in you, chalking it up to repressed anxiety. “Aren’t you scared? Chan is quite big, and I’m sure Jisung has told you about his capabilities.”

 “Why is it that none of you are concerned about Chan’s well-being? How do you know I’m not stronger than him?”

 “Because, well-.”

 “Because I’m a girl right?”

 “That’s not fair, ___, he’s had more years of training and he’s just-!”

 “Just what, Changbin? You can turn around now, let’s go.”

 He sighed and put his hands up in surrender. “You’re right, sorry. But regardless, you still have a bullet wound. We’re in the mafia, we don’t exactly play by the rules.”

 You shrugged, fixing your shirt as the pair of you ran off to the West Wing. You ran, silently wincing with every jolt of pain that came when your heel hit the floor. Fortunately, Chan hadn’t arrived yet. You stretched for a few minutes, Changbin joining you in silence. “Bet you miss Hyunjin. Huh?” You kept a neutral face and nodded, you knew this was Changbin’s specialty. You felt so transparent with him, unsure if it was his demeanor and character or title and status within the group. “I’m going to check up on him after the spar,” you looked at yourself in the mirror, “Probably spend the rest of the night with him. I’m scared his dad hurt him.”

 You spent a minute or two in silence, abruptly broken by the opening of the door. Jisung gave you another nervous smile, throwing you a small hands up and Chan ignored your gaze. You got up slowly, pulling your shirt again. You had made sure to grab a loose, flowy one, but your wound kept sticking to it. Your legs were starting to feel weak, the floor seeming to ripple underneath you. Still, you were calm. Probably calmer than you should’ve been. You swallowed hard and faced Chan.

 He didn’t look at you, but instead, past you. He was a little less than neutral, a little more than blank. He seemed slightly annoyed, not angry- but instead gave you the sense that he wished he didn’t have to deal with this.

 “Let’s get this over with okay? Maybe I’ll knock some sense into you.” He finally looked at you, an intense gaze that could make anyone back down. And maybe it was the haze, maybe the lack of sense that had strung you this far, but you weren’t scared. Not agitated, or irritated either. Just calm.

“Thought you’d be above trash talking before sparring, Bang Chan.”

 “I’m not above anything.”

 “Lovely moral compass you have there.”

 “I wasn’t the one crying because my boyfriend would sacrifice me in a heartbeat.”

 You didn’t mean to, but you found his nose blood on your knuckles before you could give it a first thought.

 Now you were pissed.

 His eyes began to water, and he was startled, staring at you dumbfounded. He wiped his nose, the blood leaving a trail up the back of his hand. It was barely a second before he started swinging. You felt it hit your shoulder, a burst of sharp pain engulfing your shoulder.

 Dirty whore.

 You found yourself retreating, even though you had initially planned on staying on the offense. You needed a second, just one- to recuperate. But that wasn’t a privilege you had.

 You stumbled, struggling to keep a stance as the pain faded into an ache. He swung again and you slid next to him, and with both your legs you trapped one of his pulling his free arm down so he would fall. You kept pinned down, but you knew not to grow confident. He broke free of your grasp, using his leg to throw you over his shoulder. Your back hit the ground hard, but you rolled before he could keep you do. You were growing light-headed, the room beginning to spin but you went on. He had thrown you hard, and was not about to give you another chance to get him on the floor again. He hit you in the chest, propelling you back. He went in for the kill, but you countered, kicking him back and you struck him in the chest back. Taking advantage of the close proximity you tried to keep Chan in a chokehold, but he didn’t let you secure a hold on him.

 He aimed for your stomach next and then your throat, and you wheezed, but didn’t clutch your stomach as you stumbled back.

 You fell to the floor and slid between his legs, pulling one of them down and he stumbled, falling to his knees, but quickly spinning on them, and he lunged towards you again.

 Your hands flew to try and block his next punch, but it was too late. You ended up clutching his forearm as he hit you by your temple. You paced backward, straightening up, attempting to grow the space in between the two of you. He moved to close the space, and you feigned a kick, and as he moved closer to make it ineffective you turned and you pulled down his arm again, but instead of tripping him, you spun yourself up trapping his head in between your thighs. Involuntarily, he rolled, falling and following the motion of your force. You held his arm down, keeping him down between your legs. Your bad shoulder hit the floor and clenched your teeth, squeezing your eyes shut. Chan flexed and struggled to escape.

 “..9,10! ___, let go! Let go, ____, he can’t breathe!”

 Chan tapped your calves twice, and you nodded finally, unwrapping your legs from around his neck. You crawled away, limbs trembling from exhaustion. You spat blood, heaving as you clutched your throat. Your hair stuck to your face, you were a complete mess. Chan, by the looks of it, was too well off either, slumped up against the wall as Jisung cleaned up Chan’s bloody face. His eyes were closed, and his sleeveless shirt damp with sweat.

 “You’re bleeding,” Changbin said, pulling a tissue from his jacket pocket, “Wish I remembered to bring a first aid kit.”

 You threw your head up, squeezing your eyes shut as you sat in a more comfortable position. “I’m fine,” you muttered, “Don’t worry about me, okay, Binnie?” You looked back at him, and tried to give him a reassuring smile, throwing two thumbs up. “I’m peachy.”

 You turned your attention back to the two boys on the other side of the room. You stood, legs nearly giving out under you. “Chan?”

 At the sound of his name, his eyes fluttered open and Jisung backed away. Chan gave you a small dimpled smile. “I have to be honest, I didn’t expect you to win.” He straightened himself up, leaning himself up properly against the wall. He looked to the side, staring at the both of you in the mirror and chuckled to himself. He brushed the hair out of his face, “We look like hell, huh?” Chan sighed again, smoothing his shirt of creases, “Sir Hwang’s going to kill me.”

 You looked at him through the mirror, observing your kneeling position, looking into his eyes. There was a sudden weight of guilt that tagged along with his words, hiding in the letters and in between the spaces. “But tradition is tradition, right?” He looked down, and tossed his head back again. “Right, so-,”

 “You’re fine.”

 “What?”

 You stood up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ears. “I said you’re fine. If you don’t tell me, he can’t hurt you. We’re a team, right?”

 He smiled at you. “Of course, we’re a team.”

 Changbin guided you back to your family’s place in the estate, not that you necessarily needed him. Still, it was nice to have someone alongside you. And then, after you could no longer see him, you collapsed in your front door. You couldn’t hold yourself up any longer, you couldn’t pretend anymore.

 You crawled, crying out for your mom like a small child, like so many nights before. But as you walked into the room, lifting your head up.

 You realized you didn’t have a choice.

 There wasn’t much you could do when you found the tipped over chair in the living room except cut the rope with scissors, you tried catching the limp body before it fell, but fell with it as the chair tipped over, the back of it hitting your legs.

 You didn’t know what to do, so you dragged her to bed and tucked her in.

 It was a desperate moment as you kissed her forehead, pulling the sheets up to her neck. You wanted to weep more than anything, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. You sat at her study, staring at her for what seemed like hours, you were running again. You didn’t care who would’ve seen you, and most certainly weren’t going to stop. You let yourself in, Hyunjin was never one for knocking himself.

 He was down on the kitchen floor, the gas still clicking. You turned off the stove, cupping Hyunjin’s face. It felt like you were adolescents again. He furrowed his eyebrows and leaned into your touch, his shaking hand moving to hold yours. “C’mon,” you said softly, “Let’s go to bed, Hyunjin.” He fell into your embrace, going nearly fully limp. It took you longer than you hoped to get him to settle him into bed, he kept reaching out and insisting that you join him.

 “Come to bed, ___. Please.”

 “I have to clean you up.”

 Hyunjin wouldn’t be able to come in for several days considering the state he was in. You wish it was an exaggeration to say you had never seen Hyunjin in this bad of a state. His lip was busted, and his face entirely cut and red. He was all bruised up, wincing at the slightest of touches.

 “You gotta kiss me,” he pointed at his mouth, ”You have to kiss it to make it better.”

 “Jinnie, stop talking, you’re gonna make it worse.”

 “Will you kiss me if I stop?”

 “You’re such a dork,” you pressed your lips lightly against his, “But my dork, I guess.”

 “That wasn’t even a real kiss, it was a peck!”

 “I’m not gonna make out with you when you have a busted lip, Hyunjin.”

 “Coward. You only like me for my looks.”

 “You’re right. You’ve got me, I guess I should leave, huh?”

  He pointed his index finger, wagging it around limply in your face. “I’ve been gone one day and you get so bold, what happened to you?” You shook your head, throwing away the bloody wipes and putting away the first aid kit. “Are you gonna tell me what happened?” He reached for your hand, squeezing it. “Let’s just rest, you look like hell.”

 “Always such a gentleman, what a prince.”

 “Just for you. Now come to bed.”

 You sighed, crawling to his side. Without another word, he pulled you into his chest. Neither of you spoke for quite a while, and even though your eyes were on the clock, your body was starting to give in. Every once in a while, he would kiss the top of your head. The tensions in your muscles began to relax. Maybe you had lost your family, but at the very least you had your team. And most of all, you had Hyunjin. He had always been there for you, no matter how big or small the problem was. Things had definitely changed, even your relationship with him. You thought about the movies you would watch every once in a while. How the couple would hold hands in public places and go to coffee shops. They would fight about normal things. You wanted that, and it was silly, sure. But for some reason, that didn’t make you want it any less. You wanted matching outfits and to celebrate 100 days. You brought Hyunjin’s hand up to his chest, intertwining his fingers with yours.

 You wanted to be normal.

 You were thinking about not meeting up at the address, and maybe even skipping out on work when there was a rustling in the sheets. You felt cold, missing out on Hyunjin’s warmth. He sat away from you, head bowed and forearms resting on his thighs. You sat up, shifting your body weight and leaning to touch him when he shied away from your fingers.

 “Hyunjin-?”

 “You need to go.”

 “Why, what’s going on? Did I hurt you?”

 “Get out of my room, and stop coming to me.”

 “Hyunjin, I don’t understand-.”

 “You can’t even blame me, this isn’t my fault. It’s yours,” he paused, “Do you know how much trouble you cause. You’re not noble, ___. There is no greater good to fight for. You’re selfish.  All the shit that’s happened, it’s all you. I don’t want to be part of it anymore. It was just luck we met, I don’t even think I really like you. Even just as a person.”

 “Oh,” you slid over the opposite side, “sorry for the inconvenience. I’ll be going.”

 For a spring night, it was cold. There were no busses at this hour, and it’s not like you wanted to cry in front of a bunch of strangers anyway. You couldn’t pull yourself together. It wasn’t the fact that Hyunjin broke up with you, you weren’t stupid, his father obviously played a part in that. But he didn’t have to end it the way he did, nor did he have to say the things he said. What was the end goal here, what was the purpose of doing this?

 You got lost several times trying to find the address given to you. The people you came across were hesitant to answer the questions of a puffy-eyed and dried blood wearing stranger. It made you slightly angry, but you understood. You were just lucky that no one called the police. What explanation could you possibly give? Besides, you weren’t sure you’d want to help yourself either.

 You found yourself at the diner from a couple of days ago. The lady at the counter recognized you, and immediately bowed her head at you. To your surprise, she didn’t tell you to go away. Instead, she thanked you for helping get rid of the men and for your work in the police service. You weren’t sure why she thought that, but you didn’t question it either. It was better for her to think that instead of knowing the truth. Besides, you didn’t doubt that Sir Hwang had connections within the police force. You scanned the room finding no one you recognized, and no one that seemed like they were trying to meet you. So you just sat in a booth, unsure of what exactly you were waiting for.

 In the meantime, a waitress brought you some food. “On the house,” she said. You weren’t in any position to protest, and so you didn’t, silently thanking her for the food. You let your legs rest on the plush booth directly in front of you, silently musing at the nightlife when you felt someone slide in your booth.

 “C-?”

 He pressed a finger to his lips, signaling you to keep quiet and shook his head. He pulled out a pad of paper and started writing.

 I know you stole my files.

 Why would you say that?

 Your bag. He pointed. While you were fighting I saw the paper.

 Suppose I do have it. What are you going to do?

 I want to help. I want out.

 Who are you trying to fool?

 The question is, who are you trying to fool?

   Both of you left the diner, thanking the staff for their generosity. “Can we take a walk?” He nodded, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Didn’t you say you were going to visit Hyunjin?” You scoffed, crossing your arms and rubbing them. “I did.”

 “And something bad happened.”

 “Bad? To him, yeah. I guess you could say that. It’s not like I didn’t think something like this would ever happen.”

 “You broke up.”

 “Bingo.”

 There was a moment of silence between the two of you, and you sighed. You looked around, more out of habit than paranoia. “No one’s following us, I promise I checked.”

 “Then why didn’t you just come with me?”

 “Sneaking out is harder when you’re with anyone but yourself.”

 “Then why agree to the walk?”

 “You look like you could use a friend.”

 You knew he was particularly trained to observe people’s behavior, but it was scary and comforting at the same time to know someone was keeping an eye on your every movement. And yet, you didn’t deny him the role he wanted to play. You needed a friend, and he was willing to play one. Be one.

 You don’t know how long the fear of him turning against you will last, or if it will ever go away. And maybe it was your flaw, to be this human and succumb to this loneliness, but maybe that’s what separates you from this regime.

 Unexpectedly, you felt arms wrap around you tightly. You stumbled for a moment, and then fell into his touch. He held you for what seemed like a long time. He waited until you dropped your arms until he released you. There wasn’t another word said between the two of you, and you avoided looking back at Changbin.

 Admittedly, it was against your best judgment to return to the garden, but you wanted desperately to see the koi. The image of the apricot and pearl fish swimming in dark water kept fishing through your mind. You weren’t allowed to be up here, that much you knew, but it never quite registered in your brain. The gardens had always been your safe space, somewhere you knew that you and Hyunjin could always run to. Maybe Hyunjin was no longer here for you, but the koi still were.

 The smell of the elaborate garden was almost haunting, you could smell it long before you were up on the roof. It was always curious how you were never allowed to leave your side of the estate, but no matter how rich the Hwang family was- or was perceived to be, you’d never seen any signs of caution or security around these parts.

 Maybe it was the paranoia, maybe it was common sense- but either way, there was this undeniable, irrevocable feeling that you should run for it.

 You weren’t the most rational person, though.

 So you pressed on, finding yourself up on the roof. It was a bad night, a new moon and the stars nowhere to be seen. The clouds were dark, covering the sky in a blanket as it would just before a storm. You felt the air shift, tense.

 You could always smell the rain before a storm, and though you really couldn’t afford to get a cold- not in this state, you roamed the garden. You stilled, letting the pads of your finger caress the delicate petals of the roses. You could feel choked sobs bubbling in your throat, you wanted nothing more than to be able to cry.

 Everything changed that night.

 It took a deep breath and counting several times to ten to get you to move on from the rose bush. The path twisted and turned, it seemed to stretch out. Your eyes were drooping, burning. Every part of you hurt so bad, you wanted nothing more than to collapse right then and there. Finally, finally, you had reached your destination. Only to find a silhouette poised on the bench.  You knew better, you knew better so why did your breath hitch? Why could you feel the hair on the back of your neck rise? You knew that he knew you were there, so why did you freeze? Did you really think you could have run, that he wouldn’t have noticed you by some merciful god?

 No, god was never that kind.

 He raised his hand and motioned for you to come over. Biting the inside of your cheek, you complied, sitting next to him. You didn’t look at him, but you could feel his gaze on you, his arm stretched across the back of the bench.

 “What god do you serve, ___?”

 “None.”

   He clicked his tongue, lifting up your chin with his fingers. “Pity, such a dirty mouth. What use did Hyunjin have for you?” He gripped the sides of your jaw, “Wrong answer, dear.”

  “Enlighten me then, almighty.”

 He laughed, “Don’t get cheeky with me now, girl. The answer,” he paused, “Is me.”

 “You gave that up as soon as Hyunjin became of age, he’s the leader now. You’re rotting, just biding your time.”

 He kept a neutral face, even as he pulled your hair, “I should get rid of you, have you join your parents. Things would be much smoother, that’s for sure.”

 “High and mighty but can’t smite me down? What a lousy god you are. Why don’t you just do it?”

 Despite his experience, you watched as jaw clenched and he pulled tighter. Your legs bowed as he made you look at him. His face was red, tight with an emotion you had never seen painted on his face.  “Because I promised your dad I wouldn’t, but fuck, dead men tell no tales now do they?”

 He sighed, letting go of you to smooth his suit down and straighten his tie. He cleared his throat, looking to the koi instead of you. “Starting today you’ll be working on both my operations and Hyunjin’s, do you understand?”

 He put his hands in his pockets, turning to look at you one last time. “You’re going to work until you realize your life is not in your hands.”

 You sat at the edge of the koi pond for some time. Fingers dipping into the cold green tinted water, the pond rippled under your touch. Instead of swimming away from the motion, fearing your hand, fearing your touch, they circled around the edge. Even in the moonless night, where even the stars were in a seemingly deep slumber, the koi seemed to glow. Through the murky water, you could see the floating spectacles of coral and orange bled fish. They were beautiful, and even though the koi pond was considerably much bigger than a pond, you felt bad for them. Such beautiful animals swimming around the same cage for years, kept as decoration instead of having a life of their own.

 You couldn’t sleep. You’d much rather sit on your bed, eyes bloodshot than be plagued with nightmares. Every part of you ached or throbbed. You would take care of your wounds, you really would, but you couldn’t will yourself to move. It seemed like an eternity before the sun peeked through the blinds.

 So, until that happened, you reviewed the file you had stolen, er, borrowed. It was against your better judgment, like so many decisions you had made recently, but you pulled it all out in the open. You figured, if they bust your door open and dragged you back to that white room from last time, you’d have an excuse. How am I supposed to fulfill my duties if I’m not aware of what is going on within my team? Was it the best? No. But would it make sense? Absolutely. Even if they decided to dig deeper, which would be protocol, you’d just say you had taken it from Changbin during a meeting. There were no cameras in the conference room- how could there be? And with frequent checks for bugs planted by the feds, the entire room was a complete blind spot. So left with no way to fact check, they’d be resigned to believe you.

 You stared at the rather thin file for a while before opening it. It all seemed so normal, deceptively so. Important information all stored in a khaki paper file. What loomed more over you though, was the reality of your situation. You sighed, goosebumps covering your body and chills swimming down your back.

 Shipment scheduled to move from Eclipse Bay to Blood Bay. Security should be kept the same, and ordinary item cargo should be moved at the previously agreed on time.

 Being moved are several thousand kilos of rewind (see: previous deals).

 At 0300, Hyunjin and his team should be flown to Hong Kong for the festival. Along with Hyunjin’s established bodyguards (see: Han Jisung and Bang Chan), multiple armed men should be ordered to see the liftoff.

 Hyunjin is on his own, no interference by anyone. Observation only. Expected to win 100 billion won over the week, and multiple alliances with other families.

[2]

 Allied cops with the Hwang Family:

 Kim Wonpil

 Park Jaehyung

 Kang “Young K” Younghyun

 Park Sungjin

 Yoon Dowoon

 Hwang Yeji

 Shin Ryujin

 Lee Chaeryeong

 Shin Yuna

 Choi “Lia” Jisu

   Look into got7, this goes without being said, and connections with Kim Woojin.

[3]

 Interrogation scheduled for 0100. Lieutenant Wonpil.

 Suspected 02 of being a double, here’s the link for his file.

[4]

 New families have paid their way into the festival. Goes by the names of TXT and Monsta X, here’s the link to their file.

[5]

 Stakes are now higher. Families betting their entire estates and fortunes, along with betting valuable information, set to a series of predecided games. Winner takes all.

[6]

 Bugs planted by the feds have been found in these locations. Watch the sensitivity of your issues. They have not been taken out. Doubles have been found applying to the company. Order to observe all workers, you’ve been assigned to the twelveth and thirteenth floor. Rewards to be discussed.

 Granted, there weren’t many things written in the email transcripts. But the importance lied in the things that were indeed, not written. You scribbled noted all over the copy, the original text almost omitted from view. It didn’t matter though, all the information imprinted onto your memory. You knew that there were a lot of blanks that needed to be filled in yet, and that meant asking Changbin to fill in the gaps. There was an air of anxiety around that, but even without the information that could be given, this was a start.

 And what a hell of a start it was.

 You decided, in those couple of hours before dawn pulled and scratched itself up into the sky, making it bleed blue, that your first two steps would be to find out all you could about the corrupt cops and specifically, especially, Kim Wonpil.

 You stretched out, your back cracking in all sorts of different places. You groaned, heaving your dense and getting denser body from your bed. It was hours before you were scheduled to show up at the Main Entrance for work, but you needed something to occupy your mind. Sitting and staring at the ceiling until your alarm snapped you out of your trance didn’t really fulfill that purpose.

 Your wound was getting worse, obviously so. Your eyebrows furrowed in the mirror, a look of pain and displeasure slapped across your face. You pulled out your first aid kit, which was really so much more, and got started.

 It was ghastly. Tears brimming in your eyes as you cleaned the wound with alcohol. You were clenching your teeth, letting out strangled groans and gasps. And the worst part wasn’t even over yet. Your shaking fingers meant that it was a while before the thread finally slipped through the eye of the needle. Your vision was growing black as you tried to stitch the gaping wound. Legs bowing and falling over the sink, you toppled down to the ground. The needle pierced the palm of your hand, a thin stream of blood coming down your arm. You sighed, the cool tile of the floor and the sharp pain in your back bringing you back to your senses.

 You were almost glad you were alone, so that no one could hear your almost inhuman cries. Almost. You felt alone, so, so alone. The inside of your cheek was beginning to bleed, and that’s when your teeth let go of the tender meat. If there was any time to cry, it would be now. But you couldn’t let yourself, no matter how much your body begged you. Your brain wouldn’t. You clutched the edge of the sink, now stained with messy prints of your palms. You heard your alarm go off, and you weren’t even halfway done with your stitches. You finished the third loop before cutting the thread.

 Man, you looked like shit.

 The shower was quick, more to fulfill the morning routine than to actually make an effort to get clean. You were angry at yourself, thinking you should’ve pushed yourself harder, but you just couldn’t. Your hair was wet, barely free of all the knots and still dripping onto your blouse. Your state was deteriorating, and you didn’t know how to redeem yourself.

 At the very least, you were the first one to arrive at the Main Entrance. If one didn’t think there was a need to be competitive, even about the smallest things, they’d be wrong. Your fingers threaded through your hair, a shallow attempt to make sure that there were no remaining knots.

 To your surprise, Hyunjin was the second to arrive. He looked great, perfect even, not at all in the state you found him in last night. He kept his hands in his pockets, only moving from his position to check the time in his expensive watch. He didn’t shy away from your gaze, either.

 “Problem, ___? Please refrain from gawking at your superior like that.”

 A wave of annoyance splashed across your face, one that couldn’t help. You knew he noticed when he smiled at you. “I said, is there a problem, ____? I asked you a question.”

 “No, Hyunjin. No problem. Sorry.”

 “Sir.”

 “No, sir. Sorry, sir.”

 It felt so foreign to you, like you were haphazardly dropped into an alternate dimension. If it had been anyone else, you would’ve snapped entirely. But before Hyunjin, you seemed to sink into the ground. The back of your high heels pinching the skin around your ankle, your feet pressing into the uncomfortable sole of the shoes. The rest of your team arrived shortly after, but instead of being lead to the van, Hyunjin stayed where he was.

 Everyone stood around him, anticipating what was to come next. Hyunjin smoothed his hair, turning sideways and smiled.

 “It is my pleasure to announce that all of you, save one, have completed your individual missions to an astonishing degree, more than what was asked of you.”

   Your feet grew heavier, and you held your arms behind your back. Interlacing your fingers, you tried to self soothe. Usually, whenever you would tell Hyunjin about something stressful, he would always hold your hand. You kept your gaze level, refusing to look around even in your confusion. Your stare fell upon Hyunjin again, and he reached in the inside of his suit jacket.

 “Consider this a thanks from the Hwangs to you. To District Nine!”

 “To District Nine!”

 He gave all of the team members, excluding you, keys. Car keys. Luxury car keys. And you thought, you really thought that they’d be above this type of encouragement. They all chattered happily, jangling the keys and pointing at the logo embroidered on the black keys. You stood in the circle, albeit somewhat on the outskirts, and found your eyes falling upon Hyunjin again.

 He just smiled at you.

 And you decided, in that moment, that this was so much worse than his father’s signature neutral face.

 Hyunjin cleared his throat, and silence fell upon the boys. “I hope you find the car suits your tastes well. We have another meeting with Stray Kids today. Please prepare accordingly. In your cars, you’ll find another gift. Don’t worry about parking, you have your own spots.”

 He waved his hand, a gesture fit to dismiss the boys but you spoke up, earning a nervous glance from the boys.

 “And what about me?”

 “What about you?”

 “How am I expected to get to work?”

 “You’re a smart girl, ___. Aren’t you? If that’s too much to be expected of you, maybe one of your fellow team members would have enough pity to offer you a ride.”

 You bit the inside of your cheek again, feeling bits of metallic liquid seep into your mouth. “Of course, sir.”

   You just short of hissed the last word, and ignored Changbin’s calls after you as you walked out. You weren’t sure how it would be seen to prefer to arrive late rather than accept help, if it was petty or strong. But either way, you were still on a crowded bus to Central.

 You thought about the koi stop after stop, as people flooded the bus. It comforted you, somehow, thinking back to the bright orange fish in the murky water- how they circled around the rippling water. You felt someone bump into you, interrupting your mental image of the elegant fish but ignored it. You didn’t want to deal with this today, you didn’t want to make a scene. You were just so tired. So, so tired.

 You got off the bus the next stop, even if it was nearly a mile away from the building. The streets were busy, and as self-conscious as you were about walking bare feet for almost a mile, the blisters on your achilles’ heel couldn’t take it.

 You stared at the sidewalk even as you heard people whisper and stare at your feet. Your feet were dirty as you reached the doors of Hwang Headquarters. You walked quickly into the nearest elevator, almost forgetting that there was no ladies’ bathroom on this floor. It hadn’t helped that there was a light morning shower as you were walking here, and your wet clothes and the distinct smell of rain on you didn’t go unnoticed. As you reached your floor, the elevator had thankfully grown empty.

 With your wet hair stuck glued to your face, blouse sticking to your chest, and blackened feet, you stepped onto the floor. You went immediately to the bathroom, glad for once that you were the only female employee on this floor. You cleaned your feet, sitting less than gracefully on the sink counter.

 Man, you really did look like shit.

 You washed your hands quickly, the soap stinging the flesh your needle had pierced.

 “You’re late. Everyone’s already in the conference room.”

   You decided not to let Hyunjin get the best of you. Or maybe you were too tired, too exhausted to snap back. Still, you were never better to let a smark remark slip past.

 “Aw, look at the new secretary. Does that mean I’m the C.E.O now? About time, if you ask me.”

 You walked past him, and moved your hair out of your face. What you were doing was bigger than him, bigger than everybody in the room. You scolded yourself, you couldn’t let him get to you like that.

 You were across Jeongin again, he tilted his head slightly, asking you a question without words. You waved it away with your hand and shrugged. You could talk about it later.

 “Is there a reason you need to move up the meeting? We had one scheduled just hours later today.”

 “No, I just felt like being an asshole and calling you in earlier for the hell of it. It’s not like either of us have better things to do.”

 “Wouldn’t put it past you, Hwang. Could this have anything to do, by chance, with our alliance with GOT7?”

 Bang Chan sat up straight in his chair, hands folding over his lap. Hyunjin ignored the movement, spinning his pen around his fingers. This lasted for a few moments. “Always so efficient with time, Woojin.” He straightened, pulling his feet off the table, and put the pen in his pocket, all in one swift movement. You raised an eyebrow at the sudden use of first names. “You know, as part of our protection over you, we requested to know about all of your alliances.”

 “Protection? Is that what you call it, Hwang? Does your team not know about the things we’ve discussed? Pity. You’re more disorganized than your father.”

 “Oh, what we discussed? There are no secrets between my team and I, Woojin. Which is more than you can say.”

 Hyunjin walked to the other side of the long table, more leisurely than you thought a person could walk. His steps were slow and deliberate, and you watched intently. He placed a tape recorder in front of Woojin, pointer finger hovering over the play button. He whispered something lowly in Woojin’s ear and then turned to face everyone, a sweet smile plastered on his lips.

 “You wouldn’t want them to hear about that, would you?”

 “No, I wouldn’t. But you know what the feds would love to know? That their trusted Kim Wonpil is providing information about the investigation being held on you. Could you imagine the scandal? The media?”

 Hyunjin laughed, his hands slamming on Woojin’s shoulder. “Is this a game you want to play? Are you confident in the moves you are making?”

 “Does a fish swim, Hwang? But that’s not what we’re here to do. Your ego is suffocating everyone and everything, you’re no different than your father. Let’s get to the point shall we?”

 “Go ahead, Woojin. Fill in the blanks.”

 “GOT7 is up and coming, you know that, I know that. The best way to dismantle their current system is by alliance and infiltration, there are no losses here. They’re in no place to refuse.”

 “Then why not disclose that information?”

 “It wasn’t finalized at the time.”

 “Do you really expect me to believe that?”

 “I do. Especially if you want an alliance, and more so with the upcoming festival. You’re in no place to refuse.”

 Woojin stood up and smoothed his suit sleeves, ridding the luxury clothing of any wrinkles. He was almost imitating Hyunjin’s gestures, who was watching him amused back from his end of the table.

 “Seungmin, open the presentation. Minho, please distribute the files.”

 The rest of the meeting went until lunchtime, and you couldn’t bring yourself to be interested in financial talk. You wanted to contribute something, anything, but you were beginning to doze off. Your attention span was decreasing exponentially, and even as determined as you were to stay awake, your body was beginning to shut down.

 It was paused, briefly, giving everyone two hours for lunch. And you couldn’t be more thankful.

 “Let’s get coffee, Jeongin. Please.”

 For some reason, you had expected him to object. You didn’t even want to discuss your plans, you didn’t want to plan a huge dismantling of a system that went as far back as history could tell. You just wanted a friend. You just wanted to talk.

 “You seriously look like shit, ___.”

 “Hey!”

 “I’m sorry, and I mean that in the kindest way. You need some sleep. Maybe a couple of centuries.”

 “Justice never sleeps, Jeongin.”

 “Okay, Batman. I’ll go get us coffee and meet you in the park. Don’t run off into the night.”

 “I feel like you just want me to get out of your car.”

 “I do. Get out of my fucking car.”

   There was something about spring afternoons that you had never really noticed before. Was it risky to be here? Of course, it was. What part of your life wasn’t full of risk? But you didn’t want to think about that, you wanted to think about spring. The fresh breeze softened even as rose into the clear sky’s view. It felt good, calm. The older wood of the park bench pressed into the base of your neck as your head fell back against the top. It wasn’t long before you found tears escaping your eyes.

 “Jeongin.”

 “___.”

 “It’s good to see you.”

 He smiled and snorted, sitting next to you and handing you a warm coffee cup. He held his own cup in between his thighs, both hands resting on the lid as he looked up into the night sky. “How have you been doing?”

 “Shitty.”

 “What happened?”

 You found yourself jumbling your own words. Cutting off sentences short and running to a different topic as if you would run out of time or he would cut you off. “...things just haven’t been the same with Hyunjin since he got, er, promoted?”

 “Wow,” he said finally, “That fucking sucks.”

 You shrugged, suddenly embarrassed as you felt your face go hot. You hadn’t meant to tell him such personal things. You looked down, taking a sip of the latte. But to your surprise, Jeongin did the same.

 “Woojin doesn’t trust me,” he commented, “I mean, I get that he’s trying to protect me but I hate feeling coddled you know? I think he feels bad about the night at the warehouse, but it’s not like I’m mad about it.” He shrugged, and his voice trailed off before picking up in volume. “I’ve seen them kill people. It hasn’t even been that long and I’ve watched them do it. I’ve even helped-”

 “Jeongin!” Your hand clamped over his mouth as you looked around frantically. “Not here, never here.”

 His eyes widened, and he took a sip of his coffee cup.

 You sat in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the breeze and petrichor. “You should eat,” Jeongin stretched out his legs, “We can stay here for a while, but we’re going to a restaurant soon.”

 “I thought you wanted me out of your car?”

 “Charity for the poor. I’m a generous man.”

 “Man? With that squeaky voice?”

 “My voice causes earthquakes, fool. Get in the car before I leave you here.”

 “You’re so mean to me,” you faked sobbing loudly, earning estranged looks from passerbys, “And I treat you with such kindness.”

 “Get up, dumbass. People are staring. I swear to god-”

 “Alright, alright. I’m going. I need the ringing in my ears to stop.”

 “God fills me with enough power to purge you.”

 “Oh, no. I’m so scared. Someone, please. Help me. Mickey Mouse is coming for me.”

 “Get in the car before I drag you!”

   Jeongin kept raising the volume of the music every time you tried to talk to him, a playful smile on his face. Less than ten minutes later, the car stopped in front of a lush restaurant. You felt almost out of place being here. Even though you were always surrounded and exposed to signs of wealth, the exaggeration of it all never seemed to stop amazing you.

 “Isn’t this a place a little...much?”

 Jeongin shrugged, “I doubt this is going to cause a financial concern for Woojin. Besides, this is the only buffet I know that has high-quality food.”

 “We could’ve just gone to a diner.”

 “Live a little. You deserve it.”

 Those words swam in your mind for a bit, repeating themselves like a broken record. You and Jeongin talked and talked. About everything and nothing in particular. And for a while, both of you forgot about your life outside the restaurant. You forgot about responsibilities, even your paranoia, your hypervigilance was kept in the back of your mind. For now, you could pretend that everything was okay. Because that’s how it felt.

 Your stomach was full, and you had long stopped counting plates by now. Jeongin was no better, still going on even after you slumped over in your chair.

 “You’re a coward.”

 “Oh fuck off, Jeongin. My stomach feels like it’s gonna pop.”

 “I said what I said.”

 You groaned, clutching your stomach. “I don’t even know why we made this a competition. Jeongin. Jeongin. I think I’m going to die.”

 “Shut up. I’m almost done, we’ll go soon.”

 You hid your face in between your hands, and started to fake cry again, just as loud as last time. “Quit it, dumbass.”

 Your crying got louder, your shoulders shaking as he kicked you under the table. “Oh fuck-!”

 “If it were not for the laws of this land, I would’ve slaughtered you. Let’s go. I paid while you made a scene.”

 “I love you.”

 “I despise you with every inch of my being.”

   The rest of the day went on without anything memorable happening. You were feeling better, much more energetic and happy. You knew you’d have to meet Jeongin later that day to discuss what was actually going on, but for now, you didn’t want to think about that. For at least a couple hours of the remaining day, you could pretend all you did was work a nine-to-five job. You could pretend that all you did was have lunch with a co-worker.

 For now, you could just pretend.

   “Hey, I’m Felix.”

 You looked up from your computer, tilting your head and looking up at him quizzically. “Hey, Felix. Can I help you with something?”

 “Uh, well not really. I just never talked to you, and I figured I should introduce myself. Personally.”

 “Okay, well, I’m ___. What do I owe the pleasure of this meeting?”

 “Boredom. Listen, can I ask you something?”

 “Ah, there it is.”

 “No, no! It’s not like that! Look,” he sighed, “I’m friends with everyone here but you. I just wanted to know if you wanted to get coffee sometime.”

 “That’s it?”

 “That’s it.”

 You watched the freckled boy carefully. “Oops, looks like I overstayed my welcome,” he looked quickly to Hyunjin’s office, wearing a playful smile, “I’ll take you up on that coffee soon! I’ve been told I can be very insistent.”

 “I can imagine. We can go for lunch tomorrow?”

   “Can’t wait.”

 You’re unsure of any of the between the lines implications, if there were any. But really, wasn’t there always? It was naive to think there were any purely good-hearted people in this setting.

 But for now, you could pretend.

 Woojin and his team left a bit later, Jeongin gave you a polite head nod as he walked past your desk and Felix gave you a warm smile, waving brightly. You waved back, unsure of what else to do in that situation. It’s not like you’d had much practice, anyway.

 Hyunjin left after all the common employees, but before you. You watched him bluntly, but he paid you no mind. You wondered if he had been listening into you and Felix’s short interaction. It was the kind of wondering that you were sure you’d never get much closure for, but it kept your mind busy as you made schedules and faxed papers. You missed him, you concluded. It was weird, not being able to talk to him and having his warmth. That was the thing about all types of relationships, wasn’t it? You’ll never really find another person like that. Maybe that was the point, in order not to go through the same pain. But you still loved him, and you knew that only time and patience could heal this kind of hurt. But you did, that was the truth. For today at least. Today, it was today’s truth. Maybe tomorrow’s will be different. There was really no way to know except to get there.

 You thought about a million little small things, how soft his hair was or the little beauty mark below his eye. You thought about the way he smiled and how he always clapped when he laughed. And then you thought about your dad, and then your mom. And your heart ached in a way it had never. This was a different kind of hurt. You wiped your teary eyes, and throughout the stained paper. What good did this pain do? All it had done was ruin a spreadsheet, and now you had to print another one.

 You wanted to stay in late, you really didn’t want to go back to the estate. You had no idea what Sir Hwang had in store for you, but you knew that it would be no good. There was nothing you could do to prepare, you didn’t know what to expect. That much power, yes, he did have over you.

 And you were right, you had no idea.

 Going to the main building for purposes other than given orders was prohibited. Mostly because no one liked unwarranted visitors, but you supposed that you had an excuse. A half hour passed, and then an hour came and went, and you gave up. Your feet hurt, and you needed a good shower. If Sir needed you, then surely, he could come get you himself.

 Night came and the sky deepened, and you started to relax. Maybe it was unlikely that he would have forgotten, but he was a busy man after all. Plus, doing and managing illicit activities was tiring, he could just need rest. Maybe you were off for the night, just for today.

 After a long shower and eating a subpar dinner, you passed out on the couch. You hadn’t meant to, really, you just wanted to rest your eyes. You were really nothing but human in the error of your ways.

 But your rest was plagued with nightmares, and Sir was the rat that spread disease. You were on the living room couch, sitting upright and before you were your parents. And Sir. He sat in the middle, on a simple black chair. Your father began to bleed from his head and torso, but he did not move, his expression blanker than a sheet of paper. Your mother sat too, in the same way, a noose around her neck and the tail of the rope sitting curled on her lap. You too, began to bleed. But from where, you could not tell. Your hands held a mess of blood, and with your vision hazy, you looked up at Sir. And he smiled.

 You woke up then. Not screaming, not thrashing. You just sat up. Your mouth was unbelievably parched, a jackhammer heart pounding into your chest, you were sure your chest was going to crumble into pieces. You felt so, so hot. You pulled at the collar of your sweater that stuck to your body like you had run through the rain. You pushed yourself up, pressing hard on your numb leg as the static pins and needles seemed to prick your leg. It was late, and you knew you had to meet Jeongin soon. You had to go over all the new information you both had, but you hadn’t done it earlier.

 You were annoyed at yourself, changing out of your sweaty clothes into similar sweats. You bit the inside of your cheek, already sore from your previous assaults. Instead, you resigned to bite your lip, which probably wasn’t much better, but at least it gave time for your cheek to heal. It didn’t take you much time to get back to the abandoned cafe. Well, abandoned was no longer the right term, it seemed. Construction tape and a new name that hung upon the storefront. You were early, so it was no surprise that Jeongin hadn’t arrived yet.

 But your stomach grew more and more upset as more time passed. The file you had hidden away in the inside of your shirt would begin to crease, and it probably wouldn’t smell too great either. Realistically, you knew that a lot of things could’ve happened. Maybe he had just overslept, and wouldn’t be coming at all. Maybe he was caught sneaking out, or maybe he had just forgotten. All of those things could’ve happened before the worst of the worst- and you weren’t even sure what that would be. Still, something from the depth of your stomach crawled and clawed. You felt dread, anticipating what couldn’t be anticipated.

 “Sorry, I overslept. I’m so tired.”

 You sighed a breath of relief, laughing at yourself. You relaxed, tensions unraveling themselves in your back and in your chest. There Jeongin was, cheerily holding up to coffee cups. “I got coffee, it’s different this time though. It’s-.”

 He was interrupted by a loud bang, and the cups toppled to the ground. A mess of green foamy liquid stroked the air like a paintbrush, and then splattered onto the ground. Jeongin was on his knees, holding his chest.

 You ran towards him, holding his anguished face before you noticed the man behind him.

 You don’t know what took over you, whether it was a moment of self-realization, or anger that had consumed you like no other. His face was becoming unrecognizable, a bloody pulp and yet, you couldn’t stop. You kept going, your vision hazy and breath labored. Was it you? Were you really doing this? You wiped your face, only to make it more messy, more bloody. The blood on your hands, quite literally, wasn’t yours. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t you, that you were impulsive. What mattered is that you wanted him fucking dead. In that moment, he deserved it, and to you, that was your gospel truth. Written in scrolls and tattooed on your back. You didn’t need to play god to kill someone, you could be Cain for that.

 “You’re gonna fucking kill him, ___, stop! Stop!”

 “He’s not dead! ___, he has a pulse! Fucking stop!”

 You could feel them grabbing at you and you felt animalistic, kicking and screaming. Were you crying? You don’t recall, but your face was wet. You didn’t even know who he was anymore as they pulled you away. You thrashed like an animal caught in a net as all the members of your team worked to drag you away. You couldn’t see straight, abstract figures of color swirling around you. Struggling to calm down, your breath was erratic, palpitations so strong you felt as if you were going to throw up. You were positioned against a wall, poised like a doll. Sweaty, lips chapped, hair sticking to your face, and decorated in blood like you’d just won the hunger games.

 Shit. Shit!

 You woke up in a room you had never seen before. Stark white walls and a lone painting of the Hwang family in the center of the wall before you. You heard movement and swiveled your head to the right, finding Sir Hwang standing straight from his leaned position in the doorframe. His hand pushed the door lever, he was on his way out as he paused, turning to face you. With a satisfied smile, he looked down at you,

  “I knew you had it in you.”

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

[1112lw]

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so 

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s 

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears 

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so 

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so 

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb 

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so 

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget 

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked 

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so 

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep 

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically 

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if 

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY 

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old 

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so 

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no 

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal 

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee 

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school 

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official​ @ace-landofthesun​ @dorkalisious​ and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

[gingercullenboy]

Movie Commentary Monday: Episode 1

Hello everyone and welcome to the very first episode of Movie Commentary Monday (or as i call MCM, which sounds ridiculous by the way) where I express my thoughts on a movie while desperately trying to be funny (and usually fail).

There will be dozens of side comments in brackets because I talk too much, sorry in advance.

This week’s movie is:

Isn’t It Romantic (2019)

Directed by: Todd Strauss-Schulson

Writing Credits: Erin Cardillo (screenplay&story), Dana Fox (screenplay) & Katie Silberman (screenplay)

Stars: Rebel Wilson, Liam Hemsworth, Adam Devine, Priyanka Chopra, Betty Gilpin, Brandon Scott Jones

Summary: A young woman disenchanted with love mysteriously finds herself trapped inside a romantic comedy.

(thanks IMDb)

Now, buckle up folks, it’s gonna be a loooooong ride. Let’s get down to business!

(this isn’t a Mulan reference)

Why is the Mom so bitter about happy endings? I bet she has seen things...

They don’t make movies for girls like us. 

THIS!!! LINE!!! IS!!! SO!!! IMPORTANT!!! 

That single sentence just basically summarized the entire history of Hollywood and you can’t argue with me on this. The evidence is there (sorry i’m bitter like mom) (i’m full of rage like younger john mulaney)

Natalie’s (Rebel Wilson) apartment is a mess and is so tiny, it’s like screaming YOUR FUTURE HOUSE at me, it’s unbelievable

Fucking finally, a realistic view of New York; smelly, crowded, and filth everywhere (not that i could ever know, i don’t live there but i’ve seen metropolitans before)

“STOP THE CART WITH YOUR BODY” WTFFF I’M CRYING THAT’S SO RUDE

Ok, Natalie’s a nobody at the workplace, even though she’s a fricking architect. UNREALISTIC TO ME

That co-worker and office manager can choke, that’s all I’m gonna say

Ohmygod, Whitney (Betty Gilpin) is so cute, I’ve seen her 10 secs in and I already love her (lovey dovey characters are always my faves)

JOSH (Adam Devine) IS AMAZING, ADORABLE DORK, PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS

LIAM HEMSWORTH’S AMERICAN ACCENT GOT ME SH00K!!! He just said “Goddamn it” and I am already hooked

Who puts whipped cream in a coffee? ME, BITCH

I PUT WHIPPED CREAM IN MY COFFEE BECAUSE BLACK COFFEE TASTES LIKE SHIT, SORRY THAT I’M NOT TOUGH AS YOU

Natalie says nice guy with a nice life and it... kinda bothers me. It’s a reaaaally generic expression and a bit insulting if you think about it bc if you don’t fit that person’s standards of being nice with having a nice life, it discourages you (in this case, you=man). So when Josh said “I’m a nice guy with a nice life” I thought ‘Of course you are’ bc he is in my standards. What I’m trying to say is that rom-coms have stereotypes on not only women but also men. Yes, it is sad.

Awwww Josh has a crush on Natalie *wipes happy tears* but she thinks he’s looking at the model billboard LMAO SAME, NAT

I’m so done (but it’s also so relatable, bc i’m like Nat but with less cynicism)

WHITNEY’S DESKTOP OMG

PAWSITIVE VIBES???? I WANNA MARRY HER SO WE CAN WATCH ROM-COMS WITH CATS ON OUR LAPS ALL DAY TOGETHER

Natalie was on the subway and a stranger waved at her. Then he tried to mug her. Then she knocked herself over. My mom always says don’t talk to strangers and I see why. I’m 22, if you’re wondering *clears throat* Moving on...

OH MY GOD SHE WOKE UP WITH THE MAKE-UP ON AND A NICELY DONE HAIR WITH FLOWERS AND STRAWBERRY DRINK ON THE SIDE, I CAN’T-

Oh, hello Mr. Morningstar... *wiggles eyebrows* (quick note, i don’t actually watch Lucifer but i really like Tom Ellis)

She just ripped her IV and blood didn’t spill everywhere, yeah this is a rom-com alright 

She’s dressed from lost and found and she looks like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman-

NO WAIT, THE ENTIRE SETTING HAS CHANGED

HOLY SHIT ‘A THOUSAND MILES’ BY VANESSA CARLTON IS STARTED TO BE PLAYED BY A RANDOM GUY ON A BIKE AND HE PLAYS IT FROM THE STEREO ON HIS BIKE I’M CACKLING

ENTER LIAM, HE LOOKS SO GOOD I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE (i’m a thirsty hoe, your suspicions are correct)

What the fuck does beguiling mean? *checks dictionary* oh, okay *is weirded out now*

HE’S AUSSIE NOW, THEY’VE DONE IT, HE’S KEEPING THE ACCENT, AND I’M HAPPY AGAIN

...Birds form a heart while flying... Uhhh... Strawberries and champagne in the limo... Rich as fuck, my poor ass can’t relate

NATALIE’S STREET HAS CHANGED, TOO

He’s giving her flowers already? Ok- NO WAIT

HE JUST WROTE HIS NUMBER ON MULTIPLE FLOWER PETALS AND HANDED TO HER, IS HE FOR REAL LMAO

“But there’s only one of you, so...” Well, this doesn’t change the fact that there are millions of ways to order the numbers, you dumbass (why is he like this)

Her apartment... Every Millenials’ dream

And... A gay neighbor/best friend who acts like an over-feminine gay (which is also a stereotype)

So, I’ll count every rom-com trope I’ve seen in 22 mins *counts her fingers* So far, I have seven tropes

The Big Presentation (eight)

Unconventional workplace which looks like a Google office (nine)

Nat is the star architect now (ten)

Rival bitchy colleague (eleven) (WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE WHITNEY, THOUGH) (SHE’S MY SENSITIVE WIFE) (oh, she looks hot)

They gave like, four other tropes in two mins and it doesn’t feel like rushed at all *salutes respectively*

The setting change is so... Like, you cannot miss it, it’s sweet and makes you feel all giddy inside, it’s so lovely, so rom-com like (does that make sense to you?)

OH PRIYANKA, SHE JUST TURNED AND I’M LIKE “Oh I’m fucked”

“Josssssssh”

Natalie keeps falling (twelve)

“MY LIFE IS A ... ... ROMANTIC COMEDY!” “AND IT’S ... PG-13!″ EVERYONE STARTED DANCING BEHIND HER I’M HOLLERING 

The subway map behind her is shaped in a heart, lovey dovey couples everywhere... And shE’S GONNA JUMP ONTO A TRAIN??? THIS GOT DARK ALL OF A SUDDEN

Officer Hansom *facepalms*

She threw the flower petals and guess what? THE NUMBERS FELL DOWN IN THE CORRECT ORDER, WHO COULD HAVE KNOWN HAHAHA (thirteen)

Y’ello

Y’ELLO

Y’E LL O

IS THIS HOW AUSSIES ANSWER THE PHONE, AUSSIE MUTUALS PLEASE RESPOND

BLAKE (Liam Hemsworth) IS SO ADORABLE I’M ROOTING FOR EVERYONE IN THIS MOVIE 

Dress up montage... Yeah- Oh wait, they cut it out what the hell fvygbuhnj I WANT MY DRESS UP MONTAGE, GIVE IT TO MEEE

This is some fancy first date though... Also leaving 100 bucks tip doesn’t justify breaking in to a store I guess??? Seems like the law has no function in rom-coms lmao (fourteen)

BUTTER PECAN??? HOW OLD ARE YOU, 200 OR SOMETHING??? WHAT THE FUCK, MAN

The rain... You know what’s coming after- Ah, and they kissed *giggles uncontrollably* YES!!! (fifteen)

THEY CAN’T HAVE SEX BC IT’S PG-13 (liam’s abs, though) *bi scream*

Her apartment makes me cry, it’s so beautiful (ok i’ll stop counting from now on bc i cannot keep up anymore)

Also the romantic tension between Natalie and Josh................ I have no words

Isabella (Priyanka Chopra) calls Josh ‘Mush’ and it’s so f-king cringey, I swear to God sxrdctfvygu

STOP OVERSELLING NEW YORK, WE KNOW IT’S NOT THAT GOOD

I can talk about Blake for five hours, he’s so fucking funny lmao

Donny (Brandon Scott Jones) is such a gay sidekick, he comes out of nowhere and talks weirdly but he makes me laugh so I’ll give him a pass

NOW WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE, NATALIE’S GONNA STOP ISABELLA&JOSH’S WEDDING

That musical scene is everything, and Natalie hits that high note H AR D

GET IT, GIRL

Blake............ no-

I ROOTED FOR YOU, WE ALL ROOTED FOR YOU, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT-

Oh my, he’s a certified douchebag, I should’ve guessed, I’m so disappointed in myself 

Unexpected wisdom coming from Donny who had no function to the story other than appearing beside Natalie at random times (again, rom-com trope) 

BUT at least he made her realised who matters to her the most

Slow motion running!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Her boobs are like sxrdctfvyg SHAKING AS SHE’S RUNNING ESXRDCTFVYB (as someone who has big breasts, i relate to that so hard) 

“Yoga Ambassador. Yoga. Ambassador.” “Ambassadors are for countries, not for streching.” Dang, Nat!!!

She finally realised she loves herself! Awww, that’s so sweet and empowering and I can’t get enough of this!!!! Yes, to love someone else first you should love yourself!

Oh she crashed the car and went back to reality

Another hot doctor???? Wait, I’m confused- No, false alarm, she’s back and her real doctor is tired, is also swimming through lawsuits LMFAO

She pulled her IV and blood SPILLED EVERYWHERE AS IT SHOULD BE, THANK GOD

I’m glad that she’s happy with what she’s got and she didn’t decide to keep what she’s been doing but instead, tried to take care of herself, it’s such a good message to young girls and I cannot praise this enough

PLOT TWIST, DONNY IS ACTUALLY REALLY GAY AND HAS A BOYFRIEND AND IS ALSO A WEED DEALER OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THE TWIST SO MUCH 

Natalie!!! Is!!! Confident!!! Now!!! I’m literally living for this *throws hearts to the screen*

OH MY WIFE IS BACK, HI WHITNEY I LOVE YOU MY SWEET SUMMER WIFE I MISSED YOU

Nat stormed into that meeting and she’s. on. fireeee

Real Blake is as jerk as ever, no surprise

Using parking lots as metaphors would never cross my mind but ok I guess???

Fuck, he said “What does beguiling mean?” I’M LOST FOR WORDS, THIS MOVIE SXDCTFVYGU

JOSH HAS BEEN LOOKING AT NATALIE FOR THE WHOLE TIME, NOT THE SWIMSUIT MODEL, WHO COULD HAVE THOUGHT???

ps. me and probably everyone else except Nat lol

EVERYONE SINGS

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I REPEAT, EVERYONE SINGS AND IT’S SO GOOD

LIAM PLAYS THE SAX HOLY SHIT HE’S SO HOT I’M GONNA FAINT

Priyanka with that rose.......... Consider me dead, thank you

“It’s hot as fuck” tcfyvgubh probably true

Overall, I would give this movie 7/10 because of the message. Plot is nicely done and I got see basically every single rom-com tropes. At total, I counted 23 tropes I guess? If I could look every minor detail, I would count more but I won’t get into it that much for now. (i’m running late to a meeting with friends so i have to cut short)

I loved the production design, setting felt like I’m in a classic rom-com movie and characters were written accordingly. Every actor in the movie has fit perfect to me. I especially loved Priyanka and Liam because 1) I’ve never seen any of her movies and 2) It’s been a long time since I watched a Liam Hemsworth movie (i only watched hunger games, so you think about it lmao)

I guess that’s about it! I have a list for the next weeks’ movies but if you have a request then tell me so, I will watch your recommendations first! I appreciate comments; if you have something to add, please do. I will read every single one of them.

See you next week!

[crafiet]

1-50 of the writer’s ask thing, go!

BITCH UR RUDE AF

The Basics1.     Do you listen to music when you write?mostly yeah but it depends on my mood2.     Are you a pantser or plotter?both, i was a complete pantser up until recently but ive been trying to outline big scenes so i know where im going3.     Computer or pen and paper?computer for drafting. pen and paper for outlining/planning4.     Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?not published, dont wanna be5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?none but yesterday i wrote 2k /shrug6.     Single or multiple POV?usually single but ive been trying multiple!! its hard!!! idk what voice is!!7.     Standalone or series?ugh again mostly standalone, but ive been dabbling in series8.     Oldest WIPmy spies one which went though a fantasy and scifi phase and was originally dystopian9.     Current WIPmy mages! i have no titles bc who10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?nup

The Specifics11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the mostuhhhh to be fair im v easily influenced so if i read a book and really like it i subconsciously try to implement that style of writing or try out that genre in my own work12.  Describe your perfect writing spacea desktop next to a big open window where i can play music without headphones13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polisheduhhhh i dont have a finished wip yet so idk lol usually: idea→ characters→ plot→ spur of the moment 10k word vomit→ more planning, outlining→ more words→ repeat planning and drafting until finished14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?i just take a break, read some bad books, read some good books, look at writing tumblrs and just marinate for a bit before going back in15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?i perpetually have it and since i dont have deadlines or a publishing contract i just ride it out, writing is strictly a hobby for me16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?i edit as i go, im onto draft 2 of my mages but its technically a rewrite bc i changed most of the plot17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?i have none atm, but i usually pick a time where i know i wont be disturbed/distracted so usually at night18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?idw collab sdkksdlkbnsd die19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?i just really really like my worlds lol conceited 20.  How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?i have!!! 5?

The Favourites21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?oh mannngggg i like all my protagonists, ary is the easiest bc shes the one i work with the most, but its super entertaining to be in remy’s head, and i like calyp’s bc hers is so different AAHH22.  Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?remy and seth orrr red and kieran. if im answering this correctly? or do u mean types of pairings lol idk23.  Favourite authorhummm idk every author i really like have books i dont like so i cant say24.  Favourite genre to write and readfantasy25.  Favourite part of writingworldbuilding *.*26.  Favourite writing programgoogle docs. it would be word but im too poor to buy it lol27.  Favourite line/sceneidk if this is my favourite but“I am at least trying to be civil.”“I am being civil. You want me to yell at you? Turn into a wolf and fight it out like you’d want?”Kieran closed the file and stood. “I don’t—rem—”“Remember.”“I don’t remember you being so—” He searched for a word, but gave up and growled instead. Red got the idea.“Angry? Callous? I ought to reteach you the English language.”“I know how to speak,” Kieran blurted. “Remember, I spent twenty-four years a full human.”“And look how fast that’s disappeared.”28.  Favourite side characterwhat are side characters lol ENSEMBLE CASTS29.  Favourite villainossssshhhh probably michael bc i love him30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yetive started on all my wips im one of those bastards who can multitask

The Dark31.  Least favourite part of writingactually drafting lmao32.  Most difficult character to writeprobably christine bc shes meant to be relatable and down to earth and thats boring smh33.  Have you ever killed a main character?yes, not a pov one though34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?probably any scene that requires a lot of research on a topic i know nothing about, like hacking or sword fighting or whatever35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?bridging scenes suck theyre necessary but they SUCK

The Fun36.  Last sentence you wrote“My plan would go smoother with you involved, but I can find others. Many want his head.”37.  First sentence or your current WIPShe squinted in the harsh light.38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever hadugh this girl who could see deaths coming and she worked for the fbi but she was like 15 so she still had to go to highschool lol39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever hadprobably her, only bc i was 13 when i created her and was reading this banshee series but somehow didnt connect??? and didnt realise she was a banshee?? without the screaming40.  Share some backstory for one of your charactersomg all of my characters have purposefully murky backstories bc i find that trope cool af lol. i guess ary has that typical woe-is-me backstory where her parents were killed, she spiraled and got involved with the wrong people and then was betrayed and arrested lol

The Rest of It41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?literally i swear by: trying anything out. fiddle with pov, tense, perspective, genre, character identity, hell take a story you like and try to put your own spin on it. writing as a craft only gets better with practice and my best work is when im going outside of the box/my comfort zone42.  How do you feel about love triangles?is this even a debate anymore, this trope got flamed so hard i havent seen it in ya in years. i dont really care about it43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?good lol my outlines are usually done on the spot and i come up with more creative plots/scenes if i can think on it a bit44.  How much research do you do?i edit as i go so i research as i go. my pre-drafting research extends to saving links on things i might wanna write about and thats it lol. i would say i dont do as much as i should45.  How much world building do you do?a lot lol i LOVE worldbuilding. but i find it hard to incorporate it into my draft naturally so a lot of minute details get cut 46.  Do you reread your own stories?all the time lol i forget what i wrote half the time47.  Best way to procrastinatetwitter–OR if u wanna seem “productive”, writing blogs are a good way to get distracted48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?bitch there was a time where i only wrote self insert characters lol49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?im too lame to hang out with any of my characters. they would be nice to me but i wouldnt get to know them like how i know them from an author perspective50.  [Other question—ask me anything]u didnt ho

[astralgloss]

im a curious meanie so 1-134 muhahaha you get to relive the hell i just went through

etab i haTE U

1: Name

my name is marit lol but please just keep it mar

2: Age

i am 17 but i’ll b 18 in 2 months!!!!

3: 3 Fears

the dark, complete and utter loneliness, and clowns

4: 3 things I love

books, forest fruit tea, the sound of rain

5: 4 turns on

a nice smile that reaches the eyes, a nice smell, having a dog ngl, a soft touch

6: 4 turns off

extreme arrogance, insisting to pay for my meal if i want to pay bc its “what a man should do”, forcing lifestyles on me, not caring about my interests

7: My best friend

she does have tumblr but idk it but hey demi if u ever see this ur the bomb.com

8: Sexual orientation

im bi fam

9: My best first date

my bf and i went to amsterdam to go shopping and he followed me everywhere (even the bookshop even though he hates books) and idk i just love him it was a nice day

10: How tall am I

im 1,65m or 5′4″ but i can and will kick ur ass

11: What do I miss

nothing really??

12: What time was I born

ok so i asked my mom and she said i was born on a tuesday at exactly 12pm but i bet she’s lying

13: Favorite color

yellow!! im basic!!

14: Do I have a crush

well i sure hope so @ boyfriend

15: Favorite quote

to the stars who listen, and the dreams that are answered

16: Favorite place

my bf’s house tbh, specifically his bed

17: Favorite food

pizza, specifically the hot chicken one from ny pizza

18: Do I use sarcasm

nah fam (ofc i do im a little shit)

19: What am I listening to right now

god is a woman by ariana grande

20: First thing I notice in new person

how they look at other people when those people don’t notice it

21: Shoe size

38/39 idk the other size lol sorry 

22: Eye color

its blue but it changes with my mood (oh my god im so sorry im kidding please don’t hate me)

23: Hair color

im a blondie

24: Favorite style of clothing

sth casual but also a bit towards the punkish style, but i also rlly love looking tiny and soft and cute lol

25: Ever done a prank call?

ok so there’s this hotline for kids who have troubles with their parents and families but it was a shit hotline tbh so once i called it up with my friends pretending i was crying and the man on the phone asked me what was wrong so i told him that all my friends had fire type pokemon and i only had grass type pokemon and they kept beating me and i didnt know what to do and then man was so confused it was funny af

27: Meaning behind my URL

idk man i wanted a name that could b easy to remember and i was inspired by ridgeport tbh

28: Favorite movie

the perks of being a wallflower

29: Favorite song

Fav song atm is anything from p!atd's newest album and my fav song of all time is probably train of consequences by megadeth

30: Favorite band

megadeth lol

31: How I feel right now

pretty good but also annoyed bc i have to go to work in half an hour :(

32: Someone I love

my bf

33: My current relationship status

if u guys havent noticed by now im taken

34: My relationship with my parents

p ok

35: Favorite holiday

halloween/christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

I have my ears pierced and thats it lol

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

i rlly want a few bookish related tattoos, like a tiny raven, a little lightning bolt, and the city of velaris and then i also rlly want a sleeve tbh but imma be a teacher and idk if i can :/ about piercings: i rlly want a helix or tragus and maybe get second holes in my hearlobes

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

ok so ive been on tumblr for about 5 years and initially it was bc i was Depressed™ and then about a year ago i found out about simblr and i was hooked

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

tbh i dont even talk to him anymore i dont rlly care about him in any way

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

yes bih

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

hes my bf so yea lol

42: When did I last hold hands?

wednesday

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

about 45 minutes bc im lazy and i keep getting distracted

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

nope

45: Where am I right now?

in bed lol

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

either my bf or my best friend

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

depends on where i am

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

mom

49: Am I excited for anything?

tbh moving out but thats gonna take a few more years

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

*insert bf here*

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

every time im at work lol

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

wednesday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

lol bye

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

nope

55: What is something I disliked about today?

the fact that i have to work a day shift instead of an evening shift

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

my internet friends tbh it’d be cool to meet all the people from my bookish discord or from @booptherat​‘s discord

57: What do I think about most?

what book i should read next

58: What’s my strangest talent?

i can finish a book in about 4 hours

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

not rlly? i hate the whole asmr thing tho ew

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind lol

61: What was the last lie I told?

i dont remember tbh

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

neither lol

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

look im not saying that believing that we’re the only living species in the entire universe is narcissistic, but it is. also dont fuck with ghosts

64: Do I believe in magic?

hell yes

65: Do I believe in luck?

hell yes

66: What’s the weather like right now?

idk probably cloudy and windy

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

fahrenheit 451 by ray bradbury 

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

nah not rlly

69: Do I have any nicknames?

i guess mar?

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

when i was 2 i fell from sth and slammed the corner of my eye onto the corner of a table and i couldve been blind but thank god im not

71: Do I spend money or save it?

both 

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

yup

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

post it notes

74: Favorite animal?

doggg

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

reading lol

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

idk man

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

i gotta feeling by the black eyed peas lol

78: How can you win my heart?

give me a samoyed and a 1000 books

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

“a boss ass bitch”

80: What is my favorite word?

fuck?

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

@cubersims​ @imvikai​ @ridgeport​ @cowplant-pizza​ @bloomlet​ @tiptoptab​

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

spend fiddies, pet kitties, hold tiddies

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not that i know of lol

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

the power to choose whatever power i want at any moment

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

“do you like working here?”

86: What is my current desktop picture?

its an august background from @emmastudies​

87: Had sex?

yes

88: Bought condoms?

no

89: Gotten pregnant?

no

90: Failed a class?

yes

91: Kissed a boy?

yup, i’ve been kissing my bf for about 2,5 years now lol

92: Kissed a girl?

yup, i’m living the bisexual dream lol

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

yes

94: Had job?

yes, im working at a movie theater right now!!

95: Left the house without my wallet?

tbh all the time now that i can pay with my phone

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

yea i used to but that was when i was 12 and i’d like to say that i’ve grown a lot in the past 5 years

97: Had sex in public?

nope

98: Played on a sports team?

yes

99: Smoked weed?

nope, even though i live like 20 minutes away from amsterdam lol

100: Did drugs?

nope

101: Smoked cigarettes?

nope

102: Drank alcohol?

yupppp, i love me some raspberry cider

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nope

104: Been overweight?

nope

105: Been underweight?

nope

106: Been to a wedding?

yup

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

lol all the time tbh

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

yup

109: Been outside my home country?

yup, however never outside of europe tho

110: Gotten my heart broken?

a few times

111: Been to a professional sports game?

yess, i saw the dutch female volleyball team once!

112: Broken a bone?

nope

113: Cut myself?

yes

114: Been to prom?

we dont do prom in the netherlands lol

115: Been in airplane?

yes

116: Fly by helicopter?

nope

117: What concerts have I been to?

k3 (only dutchies and belgians remember this), one direction, megadeth, and ed sheeran

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yupp

119: Learned another language?

i mean im from the netherlands and im fluent in english thanks to myself

120: Wore make up?

yuppp

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

yes

122: Had oral sex?

lol yes

123: Dyed my hair?

nope

124: Voted in a presidential election?

not old enough to vote :(

125: Rode in an ambulance?

nope

126: Had a surgery?

nope

127: Met someone famous?

nope

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

nope

129: Peed outside?

a few times lol

130: Been fishing?

nope

131: Helped with charity?

yep

132: Been rejected by a crush?

a few times

133: Broken a mirror?

lol yes

134: What do I want for birthday?

some books, money, cake, more books, makeup

[dailytechnologynews]

GloFo 7nm: A Lost Hope

So as you may know GloFo 7nm was recently cancelled, in this article im going to analyze all of what this implies in a lot of levels but mostly on the technical one, both in short and long term

before beginning please have in mind:

1) im Spanish and my english writing might be poor, also this is by far the longest article ive ever wrote and it took me 2 and a half Hours to complete, there can be mistakes but don't be harsh pls

2) i currently own a bit of AMD stock, this means I focus on them more, but as you will see this doesn't affect my thinking

3) i link various articles in this one, i recommend you reading them for better comprehension

4) this article contains A LOT of estimates, they are based on public knowledge, if some of that knowledge turns out to be false or inaccurate the estimates based on it do the same, however they are the best that I can do, if I had more hard data I will use it. in particular, my estimates about TSMC 7nm are… weak and early, please don't complain about them, its the best I can do without more hard data

9001) WARNING: this article is LONG, the character count its literally OVER 9000!!!!

with that said lets begin

The first important question is WHY? Why did GloFo cancel their 7nm node? the answer is simple: MONEY, this quote from anandtech sums things up:

So, the key takeaway here is that while the 7LP platform was a bit behind TSMC’s CLN7FF when it comes to HVM – and GlobalFoundries has never been first to market with leading edge bulk manufacturing technologies anyway – there were no issues with the fabrication process itself. Rather there were deeper economic reasons behind the decision.

the full article is here: https://www.anandtech.com/show/13277/globalfoundries-stops-all-7nm-development

The second question is: how does GloFo 7nm compare to TSMC 7nm, because if glofo’s node was worse than TSMC's then the only loss here would be the competition, well this is absolutely not the case, GloFo 7nm was superior than TSMC 7nm, maybe by a wide margin, but this depends literally of thousands of factors, so the best that i can do is to approximate the final answer basing on all that we know first we have to know the specifics of GloFo 7nm, here is an excellent article containing them and more: https://fuse.wikichip.org/news/641/iedm-2017-globalfoundries-7nm-process-cobalt-euv/ if you read the article and understand most of it, you have my respect, but lets list the facts that we care about:

1) 55% power reduction at the same frequency

2) 40% frequency improvement at the same power

3) extremely tuned fin profiles

4) cobalt for some critical layers, improving interconnect speed and drastically reducing electromitigation, this is very important as the wall to reaching high clocks is interconnect speed

this looks extremely nice, but how does this translate into real world max clocks? Well if you assume the GloFo chart was linear then the results are very good, here is a calibration based in real data, done in the anandtech forums by /u/catmerc (thanks!): https://forums.anandtech.com/threads/next-gen-zen-2-3-starship-and-derivatives.2511914/page-3#post-39322122 you watched right: 4,6 GHz at the same power you would get 3,3 GHz on 14nm, WOW, this means that (again if the chart was linear) 5 GHz wouldn't be far fetched at all, this is probably too good and my estimations are that GloFo 7nm was a bit worse than what this chart implies, still I think 5 GHz would have been doable, but only for single core turbo, just in case: im referring to the SoC version, clocks on 7HPC would have been ludicrous

now we have to analyze how good TSMC 7nm is, this is harder to know and there is less data about this but lets do it anyway. first we have to get the advertised numbers, and those are 60% power reduction at the same frequency or 30% frequency improvement at the same power, source: https://www.anandtech.com/show/12677/TSMC-kicks-off-volume-production-of-7nm-chips, this is starting to look worse than GloFo from the first moment, however there is a big issue here: the bases are different, GloFo bases their 7nm numbers on their 14nm, and TSMC does it over their 16nm+ this makes comparison hard, I remember that TSMC 16nm clocked higher than Samsung 14nm which is the same as GloFo 14nm, but consumed a bit more and was less dense, I cant source those claims but if you look at the numbers they make sense, anyway this approach failed as a solid comparison point so lets move on, how about taking the words of their clients? Spoiler alert: worse than GloFo

Speed gains of 16% at 10 nm may dry up at 7 nm due to resistance in metal lines. Power savings will shrink from 30% at 10 nm to 10–25% at 7 nm, and area shrinks may decline from 37% at 10 nm to 20–30% at 7 nm, said Paul Penzes, a senior director of engineering on Qualcomm’s design technology team. source: https://www.eetimes.com/document.asp?doc_id=1333109

Arm claims that the latest 7-nm nodes will only deliver 2% to 3% more speed than the 16-nm node. “There hasn’t been much frequency benefit at all since 16 nm … wire speed hasn’t scaled for some time,” said Peter Greenhalgh, an Arm fellow and vice president of technology. source: https://www.eetasia.com/news/article/18060102-arm-announces-high-performance-laptop-cpu

so basically two clients of TSMC are saying that there are close to none clock gains on 7nm (compared to 10nm, this is important) and I know they mean TSMC and not GloFo because they both say the problem is interconnect speed which if you remember from above is one of the things GloFo 7nm improved a lot thanks to cobalt and other things, also GloFo is a much smaller fab, it was going to get into HVM later and most people were going to use TSMC anyway. So now we know TSMC 7nm isn't as good as GloFo 7nm was, but by how much? Well a little time ago I made a prediction of how Ryzen 3000 would clock on both nodes, I recently updated it to reflect that AMD will use the HPC variant: https://www.reddit.com/r/aceshardware/comments/923t76/ryzen_3000_clock_predictions/ so there is your answer, a not at all laughable 300 MHz loss, but I think you also want to know how did I get to that concussion, well… it is a bit tricky and fail prone also it has a 100mhz or higher margin of error, anyway here it goes: the base is Ryzen 7 1800X which turbos up to 4 GHz on GloFo 14LPP TSMC 16nm+ clocks higher than GloFo 14lpp but lower than 12LP, 4,2GHz is my best estimate, TSMC 10nm should give about 5% of a boost to max clocks (remember max clocks ALWAYS increase less than “performance” for high end CPUs) that gets us to >4,4 GHz, going from 10nm to 7nm should give a negligible boost of around 2% but this is just enough to put that number on 4,5 GHz, this is the number for the mobile variant, but as i discovered during the writing of this article, AMD is going to use the HPC variant which features a 7.5 track library instead of the 6 track one found in the mobile variant it also should use fater interconnects, finding how much will this variant boost clocks is again as there is EVEN LESS data on it, the only numbers that I could find are +13% perf over the mobile variant and up to 4,4 GHz speed for the sram(L* cache), cache usually is a bit slower than the CPU itself so this doesnt mean the limit is 4,4 GHz. with all of this my estimation for 7nm HPC is 4,7 GHz which is still lower than the GloFo 7nm SoC version, have in mind im being a bit cautious with this one 4,8 GHz is possible , just for laughs if we compared max clocks of GloFo 7nm HPC(IBM only) vs TSMC 7nm HPC the difference will be ~0,8GHz, LOL just LOL (the number is serious tough) as you can see this is tricky as is based on estimates over estimates, however there are some limits to how good or how bad it can clock, so while my number might (and possibly will) fail, it cant fail by much The third question is: who this affects and how does it? The answer is AMD, IBM, Intel, TSMC and maybe Samsung, so lets analyze how it affects everyone on that list

AMD: Negatively

after the previous paragraph you can see why: 300-200mhz loss its not good, but this is just the tip of the iceberg, even if GloFo continued with 7nm AMD might have chosen TSMC 7nm for ryzen 3000 because of time constraints, the really bad thing about this is that the clocks of TSMC nodes are expected to be flat until 3nm which will mean a tech change from finfet to gaafet, this means Intel has 3-4 years of wide and increasing clock leadership so the only way AMD can beat Intel’s performance in the desktop market is through big IPC increases, which are unlikely to be big enough,still AMD should be able to beat Intel in value (perf/price) by a very good margin, server and laptop market are a VERY different story and I expect AMD to do very well on those. another HUGE concern for AMD should be prices, with near zero competition TSMC can increase prices both on the short and the long term, similar to the DRAM market, this means either smaller margins for AMD or higher final product prices.

for those all reasons I did cut my personal stock price target for AMD by a BIG 20%, yes you heard right: the day before the announcement I thought AMD was going to reach a 25% (because percentages work that way) higher price than today, im not going to say what my exact price targets are but I believe AMD is going to go up from the current price, just much less than before

IBM: Negatively, VERY negatively

well.. this guys really take the worst part, basically they have no node suitable for their high-end CPUs for the foreseeable future, glofo spun off an ASIC group which is said to help port costumer designs to other nodes, the problem is that there is no high performance 7nm class node apart from intel 10nm (if they fix it)

Intel: Positively

a lot of what I said for AMD applies here in reverse, Intel basically has an assured performance lead in the desktop market over AMD, but still they will have to compete to a denser, cheaper to produce 7nm chip lineup with their 14nm one, their server market share is still posed to get lower maybe by a bog amount

TSMC: Positively, VERY positively

on the short term they get more volume and therefore revenue, and in a now 2-player game (3 if intel opens its fabs) they get the ability to increase or even pact prices

Samsung: Positively

Samsung on the short term will probably see no gains, but on the long term they might win some designs, however the big win for them is the lack of competency driving prices an therefore margins up

YOU, the consumer: Negatively

as per the points stated above you might get more expensive chips, and maybe even worse ones, cutting-edge node development is mindblowingly expensive and that maybe is an understatement, with less competition tsmc and samsung might opt to do less aggressive jumps to save a huge amount of money on RD, this remains to be seen, it may not happen, but the possibility is out there and I wont dismiss it

to end I would like to quote an excellent comment from /u/nagromo which summarizes perfectly some of my thoughts:

I was hopeful that IBM research working with them meant it would be more like "IBM 7nm, manufactured by GloFo", similar to how they've done well with Samsung 14nm. I still think there's a decent chance it really was on track, and they're telling the truth and just think they can be more profitable using their successful 12/14nm technologies instead of investing $10B+ into 7nm. I'm really disappointed to hear this. I thought it was a reasonable hope that the IBM research team would be able to achieve or approach their 40% performance, 55% power numbers. There's rumors about poor performance from TSMC 7nm. My hopes for Ryzen 3 aren't nearly as high as they were yesterday.

this article was originally wrote by me to /r/aceshardware

[1111ljk]

Request: Name

 Anon Request #1: 6/8/17 

two-shot.

count  ➵ 1,403 words

genre  ➵ angst, fluff, a lil comedy, [WARNING: some cursing in there]

theme ➵  bestfriend!jungkook

characters  ➵ jungkook, you

PART 2

PART 1/2

   Jeon Jungkook. It was a name so familiar to your lips that saying it would be no different to breathing air. It was a name you found comfort in, a name you called at times of trouble, misery, despair, happiness, and all sorts of things. It was also a name you screech at the top of your lungs at seven in the morning at a bus stop. 

   “Jeon, do you even use your new phone for the right reasons?” you hissed, fingers crumpling the collar of his blazer as soon as he was in your reach. You drag him up to the bus, scanning both of your cards (which you kept at all times because Jungkook, that darned boy, could never remember to bring his own shit).

   “Duh,” he answered matter-of-factly, panting as he uses your shoulder for support. “Gotta catch all them Pokemons!”

   You rolled your eyes at his statement, about to head to your usual spot until you felt yourself slightly pushed to the side. He beats you to the window seat this time, focusing his attention on Seoul’s lovely morning sight. Meanwhile, you stood with your arms crossed, a foot tapping against the soft floor of the bus. “Excuse me?”

   Jungkook looks up to you, eyes fluttering as he innocently hums a ‘hm?’.

   “That is my spot.”

   The boy blinks, turning his head to check the headrest. “Don’t see your name written on it.”

    Jeon Jungkook, you almost forgot, was a name that irritated you as much as it comforted you. But instead of arguing for it, you grumpily took a seat next to him, hugging your bag in annoyance. He chuckles in return, a breathy light-hearted one, as he slung his arm around your shoulders. It gave you a good view of him as he focused back on the scenery.

   You never really noticed how good-looking Jungkook really was. That was an understatement. Jungkook was a total definition of a man. He had a jawline that even guys would fawn over, veins in the right place that girls would gladly count(creepy thought though), and big sparkly eyes that you would give in to any time you fought. Jungkook was breathtaking.

   Jeon Jungkook was more than just a name to you. It was more than just a popular example at college that girls threw around when asked about their ideal type. 

   It was the name tag you first read in fifth grade after a couple of guys picked on your for your quirky pigtails. The owner being a chubby classmate of yours who helped you up and told you your pigtails were cute after he pulled both of them and ran. You cried, yes, but he scared away anyone else who made you cry, claiming only he had the right to do so. 

   It was your playdate in sixth grade that your mother had endlessly and excitedly talked about the previous night. You were definitely surprised to see him on the playground with his mom. There was an awkward silence for the first few minutes, until he spoke what you’ve been holding back to say. ‘Aren’t we too old for playdates?’

   It was your first girl friend’s crush and a name she later on hated. Jungkook was notorious in his younger days for being such a heartbreaker. Unfortunately, you were his bestfriend and the target of stickly thin, baby-faced eighth grader girls’ hatred. It was alright. He promised to buy you pancakes every morning.

   It was the caller ID you see every day after school in the ninth grade and up until now. It was ddukbokki on Mondays, kimbap on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and ramen on Thursdays and Fridays.

   It was a name you grew to love and hate at the same time. Jungkook was your bestfriend, your other half, basically your family. It was a name that was like air to you, you were so used to it - yet why did your heart suddenly decide it was okay to skip a beat?

   It had been weeks since you felt that first thump in your heart. Every day, you started to understand why Jungkook was so appealing to the rest of the female population. Sure you knew he had a very nice face, you knew he wasn’t particularly good at books and papers, but he was the star of each and every sports team there was at your institution. Of course, you knew that if he gave enough interest, he would be the class genius as well. Jungkook was a modern prince - courageous, attractive as hell, and most importantly, he was so kind. At least to you. It scared you. It scared you how the reasons were getting clearer and clearer.

   Jungkook always sits next to you whenever a chance is given. Today was one of those days. He slides ever so smoothly to your right poking your cheek as you chugged a glass of milk. “Whatcha doin’, ugly?”

   You roll your eyes, an instinctive response at whatever he says. “What do you want?”

   He let out an overly-dramatic, high-pitched, K-drama laugh. “Watch a movie with me,” he whined.

   “Don’t I always? Like, every Friday?” you raised an eyebrow.

   Jungkook grins, suddenly pouting and poking his index fingers at each other, before clinging at your arm. “I wuv you.”

   Normally, you’d wince, throw something at his face. You’d be repelled by his ugly cutesy act. But there it was again, that thump. Then another, and then it got to the point where your heart was a beating mess. Fuck, you thought.

   He looks up at you, smirking smugly. “Are you blushing?” he coos. “Cute.”

   Then your heart was on overdrive.

   Days had passed since then and now you were at his house, in the lousiest outfit you have ever put together, not really minding it since it was only Jungkook who’d seen you this way. You let yourself feel comfortable on his bed, which was almost like a second bed to you anyways. 

   Waiting for him to come back, you decided to set up the movie on his laptop. To your surprise, he had a password. It was strange. Jungkook was a careless and reckless man. He had no time for such things as passwords. Hell, he’d probably forget his own password. You shrugged it off anyways. You had no idea what his password would be though, but you tried anyways. 

   ironman97

   Wrong.

   ironman

   Wrong.

   You searched through all the possibilities in your head. Jungkook may have put a password but you were sure it was nothing complicated. After all these years, the one thing you really learned about him was that he was not a man who was into complication.

   leejieun97

   Correct.

   What an idiot, you thought. An idiot fanboy. Of course, his love for IU never ceases. You roll your eyes and waited for it to load. He left his Facebook page open and your heart crumbled a little. Everything was the same as you had always seen except for that open chat box beside yours. Jungkook was seeing someone?

   A gasp snapped you out of your ten second misery and, in your panic, you minimized the browser.

   “How did you know my password?” he breathed out, placing a hand over his mouth. 

   “Well, genius, leejieun97?”

   He blushed and threw a chocolate bar at you. “Shut up! IU gives me life.”

   He jumps into the bed, an awkward silence filled you both as you stared at the desktop view. You could feel a tense aura. 

   “So, you saw, huh?” he finally spoke up.

   It took you a second to answer. “Yeah.”

   “I was gonna tell you, I swear,” he tries to apologize, hugging you from behind. You didn’t see why he needed to. It was his life after all.

   You let out a half-hearted chuckle.” Congrats, loser, your ugly ass finally got a girlfriend.”

   “Um, sweetheart, this,” he points to his face. “...is almost as good as your Hyungsik.”

   You blinked. “Okay, coconut head ass lookin bitch.”

   “Excuuuuuuse me?!” he bellowed as he pounced on you to tickle you.

    That was the first time you felt uncomfortable being in the same room with him. For some reason, you wanted to go home, stay in bed all day. You didn’t understand why you hated it, but through out the thrilling scenes of Iron Man where Jungkook gleefully cheered for his favorite superhero, you realized.

   You liked him.

A/N: THIS TOOK SO LONG SOMEONEKILL ME. I FORGOT TO EDIT AND PUBLISH IT. IVE HAD THIS IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LKFJGLKFD.

[emorphistechno]

How Salesforce Lightning Experience Transform the Businesses across the Globe

First of all, people new to Salesforce are confused about the term Lightning and are puzzled about what actually it is. Quite simply, it’s many things.

In the Salesforce platform, Lightning consists of a family of technologies. Here are some of the bigger names:

Lightning Experience: It is a new UI for Salesforce

Lightning Design System: A CSS framework for Lightning styled apps

Lightning Framework: A JavaScript framework to create single-page apps

These all frameworks are tools for building Lightning components so to power apps for running successfully on Salesforce Lightning Experience.

One of the biggest advantages of the given ecosystem is that the developers can write one app and run it on multiple platforms whether it be web, mobile or even Salesforce; successfully.

So now you have a better idea of Salesforce Lightning; let’s talk about one of the most popular technologies, i.e. Lightning Experience (LE).

Finally, Salesforce has a New Interface!

Whether you are an active Salesforce user or not, you must be at least familiar with the Salesforce user interface (UI) which had basked glory in its initial days!

Although its benefits outweigh its drawbacks, many experts felt that the Salesforce design badly need an update which was a demand for years.

Thankfully, Salesforce has finally listened to the people by offering Lightning Experience. But all things apart, what is Lightning Experience?

LE is the new UI for Salesforce installation which is upgraded from Salesforce Classic to bring more modern look with advanced functionality to the given platform.

The currently supported feature focuses on offering better supporting sales procedures and is adding new features with every expansion to other areas of the Salesforce.

What’s more, the upgraded desktop application makes the Salesforce data more powerful, useful and easier to access by the leading Salesforce consulting companies. With the help of LE, users can customize tools, layouts, apps, widgets and dashboards to get access to more important information urgently.

To know more about LE, go through some of its benefits which make it popular among most of the developers. These are:

I. Equipped with Modern User Experience

The best part of LE is that it comes with a modern, intuitive and more dynamic user interface which empowers the users to get access to the most important data first. With the help, if it, the users can scan instead of wasting time on searching more insights on their homepage.

II. Comes with Dynamic Data Capabilities

Lightning also boost the data responsiveness among users by offering them to view the changes in their system in real-time without updating the information within the platform. There is no need to refresh your page and instead, you can add multiple data points to view the impact of your decision immediately. Likewise, you can also forecast your data and update your system with the current layout.

III. Enhanced Adoption to Deliver New Experience

More and more users are adopting LE because it delivers a more intuitive experience. It not only puts all your employees on the same page, but it also enhances their productivity and efficiency which will bring customers closer to your services.

IV. Lightning Experience is Always Mobile Ready

Another feature which makes LE essential among Salesforce consultants is that it is enriched with mobile capabilities. This is the time dominated by digital technology and organizations across the globe can operate their business right from their phones. Thus, you can build apps directly in Salesforce for your mobile workforces.

V. Users can Enjoy Sales Cloud Benefits

Yes, that’s true! With Salesforce LE at the helm, the sales team can bring improvement in their visuals provided in their pipeline dashboards. With this, your employees can spend their best time with their customers and new prospects and not interfering with Salesforce. Furthermore, it also infuses intelligence in the sales process which will endow users with the power to personalize their sales messages and increase close rates.

VI. Service Cloud Benefits also present at the Shore

Not only sales cloud, but service cloud users are also benefited if their switch to Salesforce LE. The given platform makes it easier to connect with their customers. Besides improved analytics and engaging UI, users can track customers and optimize their expenses.

Some of the Coolest Lightning Experience Features Loved by UsersA. Packed with Latest Technologies

Salesforce LE is packed with recent and more advanced technologies which will assist in creating a cordial relationship with your customers. It facilitates you to utilize the potential of the cloud for everything and also releases at least three updates every year automatically. Some of the technologies incorporated in the ecosystem of various Salesforce integration services are:

Multitenant Architecture which allows mutual sharing of a common code base and infrastructure among the users and applications

Several API’s such as SOAP & REST API to offer direct access to all the information present on the Lightning platform from any programming language effectively

Visualforce which is a feature-rich UI framework to configure the user interface easily and make them more customized through efficient page layout

AppExchange Directory which offers multiple Lightning platforms to the Salesforce customers and also permits them to share them within their community

B. Opportunity Board is now Opportunity Kanban

An exclusive LE feature, it is utilized to optimize workforce to balance workload and increase continuous production. It helps your sales reps to keep their deals on the track and keep them moving in the forward direction. By viewing all the opportunities, the sales managers can monitor the work pipeline in an effective way and keep a check on sales reps easily and monitor leads. It is essential because:

It helps Salesforce to get to hang off the Lightning component framework

It helps in understanding the functioning of external libraries (jQuery) within the framework

It helps in customizing Salesforce on whatever way as per the users

Presence of visual aspect to accelerate and simplify everything in the system,

C. Presence of Lightning Voice to Drive Sales Productivity

A great solution which leverages the power of Salesforce and ensures every opportunity which has been created will be able to leave the customer with a memorable experience. It comes with some special aspects such as:

Increased call productivity by dialling directly from sales cloud lightning with just a simple click

Engage in smarter conversions by answering phone calls directly inside sales cloud using a simple click

With its presence, any inbound and outbound call be automatically logged to get access to the appropriate lead

Easily taking of the persistent notes and log them against call record even in the case of switching from screen to screen

So, a great aspect of the Lightning voice which connects sales, service and marketing teams of an organization with their customers in a whole new approach.

D. Salesforce Quote-to-Cash for Effective Business Management

It is a complete set of business procedures which involves whole selling aspect starting from creating initial offers to collect cash from the probable prospects. It proceeds by offer configuration, developing an appropriate pricing strategy and ending with quote creation. Thus, it helps in creating a streamlined process to give your business greater efficiency with better visibility from the initial quote to the final payment. If it is properly implemented it will transform your business and accelerate online growth through:

Reduced downtime in the sales cycle

Improving customer service with great productivity and efficacy

Offering of better visibility across the board

E. Service Cloud Lightning Snap-Ins for Connected Customers

It is a robust customer support system which is capable to meet the expectations of the businesses of all sizes and thus improves their relationship with their customers. Furthermore, it allows users to embed tools to offer personalized support to customers on all channels. It comes with notable benefits:

Offers better self-service options by giving them access to all the needy information 24/7 time which eventually decrease their workload

Personalize live chat to meet the tailor-made needs of the customers and kick start effective service experience

Provision of faster and more accurate resolutions through mobile-ready SOS video & chat option which allows customers to interact directly with your agent

Using Snap-ins, you can authenticate cases to save relevant information and check the profile of the customers to assist them efficiently

Conclusion

Salesforce System is now an integral part of every business organization. With the arrival of new Lightning Experience, it has given a flag-off to the success and prosperity of any business. With its special features and benefits, it will surely create a bunch of opportunities for any business to excel in their respective sector.