#this is such a huge thing for me you don't even understand T_T

[veilder]

Oh my goodness!!! Well, I somehow missed the occasion, but the other night, one of my fics, The Nearness of You, surpassed 1000 kudos!!! Holy shit, this is blowing my mind!!! o_O I legit never thought I'd ever have a fic that popular, wow! I just wanna say thank you so, so much to everyone who read and left reviews and kudos on that and all my fics, it truly means the world to me? And, since I never actually posted that fic to my blog here (I wrote it before I really started using Tumblr a lot), Imma take the time to do that properly in a minute, lol. So look out for it as my next post. XD

Thank you again, everyone. I wish I could do one of those like authors who does a giveaway or something for big milestones but I know myself well enough to realize that ain't gonna work, omg. XD But even still, I'm always happy to talk about prompt ideas or anything with y'all, so if you have any, you can for sure shoot them my way! XD

My very first chapter fic, my first attempt at a romance, my first romcom... and now my first fic to break 1k. Thank you all. Truly, thank you. ❤️💙❤️💙

[silantryoo]

as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

[randomgentlefolk]

CPC CHAPTER 157

I'm— I just. SOB BLAINE AND FREDERICK??

Ooh!! I should've expected this room to show up in her dream. I'm guessing that it has something to do with the reflections in the sugars?? In the chapter where Frederick and Gwen was in this room, their sweet moment was interrupted by Gwen seeing her reflection in one of the sugar. Maybe the reflections will tell her something regarding her view of herself? Or maybe they will instead warn her about what's happening at the Palace's hall? (By that I mean the war)

Or perhaps...We will see Frederick?

Okay, moving on to the war—

Bruh they gotta STOP finishing each other's sentence it's driving me crazy and slowly taking my hope away from Blaine T_T

I still have my hopes on Blaine, but it's fading away veryyyy slowly. I'm trying hard to believe in him tho. Good thing I have fanfics and my imagination to help me cope through this :')

Also HECK YEAH IT'S SHOWDOWN TIME!!!

May I just say, I love Jamie speaking in Wingdings XD. I tried to translate it but weirdly it didn't translate into an understandable sentence/word. It's just gibberish.

Curtis with a broom...HE'S SO COOL?? Never underestimate butlers real (Curtis, Alfred)

Lorzanna moment!! They are adorable :D Also they are soooo gonna kick Leland's butt.

Also everyone should just use Laverne as a defense strategy here, just saying. It seems to be really effective.

Leland's threat kinda takes my interest here. What do you mean "or else I will"? Do you mean you can just literally stop what's going on right here right now? Then why not just do it now? Or by that does he mean he's going to punish the Plaid Princes in the dungeon again...or worse? Uh well at the very least all I know is LELAND SUCKS.

GO, LANCE, GO!! Betray your bs of a father and stop your big brother from succumbing to the dark side!! I have faith in you :') Honestly even though Lorena don't really understand Lance's fear of Leland and calling him a coward kinda stung, but at the same time it's kinda a wake up call for him? I guess??

Oh yeah, sorry for ruining the moment here but I've been thinking about how sick his new scars would be like it would be shapes like an X and that's so cool?!

Yeah I gotta agree with Lorena here, that was kinda creepy Leland... But Lorena's throw was amazing. Like dang..that spear must be heavy as frick and she throws it with a huge strength?? Lorena = Undyne confirmed?

Beckett to the rescue!! :D love that guy. Hopefully the misunderstanding between Maria and Gwen will clear up though :')

And lastly...the one I'm ejwnsuehw about the most...

Blaine c'mon man Blaine wait listen to me dude wait wait wait. Stop okay stop don't do this 😭😭 Literally go meditating with Whitney bro THIS IS NOT YOU. I don't think i can change you at this point but literally you don't even want to change. And this is the most difficult part because no matter how much you want to help someone, it's pointless if they don't even wanna help themselves. I'm really hoping he would get redemption arc especially because of what Isolde told him in chapter 144.

Oh! I almost forgot. Let's look into the fast pass section!

So first of all we have Blaine vs. Frederick :') but what takes my interest the most is.. The Prince vs. The Prez... Obviously the prince is Blaine, since it uses singular noun and in the thumbnail we see Blaine and Prez. But what caught my attention is "the Prez..." the prez what? The prez club? This could be something regarding cpc, or maybe Prez creates a new group? I can't wait for it to upload :D

Well that it's for today, now let me just sob on the floor while holding my plaid clothes in front of my cats again.

Mono out! (But still in to hear your thoughts)

[tobiasdrake]

So, this is Yakou's wife. No name's been given for her yet and I don't remember if we got one for her before but I like her already.

That's one thing to call homunculus experiments, to be sure.

I want so badly for her ghost or homunculus or whatever to be the one to cure the ferals. Her genius intellect stabilizing the defective homunculi would be the ultimate posthumous mic-drop on her shitty fucking boss.

Neurodivergent people are brilliant in their own way but lousy with information classification. I struggle constantly to remember what I am and am not allowed to talk about with my own work.

The chemistry between these two is fantastic. They had the whole goddamn game to make Yuma/Kurumi happen and I'm already more invested in this romance than I ever was in that one.

I mean. If this is for something as benign as a job offer, then there's no reason for Yakou to turn down a cool mil.

Of course, just because he's probably from the UG labs, doesn't mean his intentions are as simple as that. If she's on the cusp of brilliant research that could change the course of the homunculus competition, then this could be an assassination. It could also be an either/or offer. Work for us OR we'll have you killed.

And now she wants Yakou to claim incompetence.

She's not exactly hard to find. She's not bunkered down in a safehouse somewhere. She works at the biggest megacorporation in town and then goes home.

I'm tentatively with Yakou on this.

She doesn't know what's happening on his end of things. But. Like. He's supposed to have his leg broken by mafiosos for failure to pay his rent, so that she can avoid being mildly inconvenienced for an hour?

If we're meant to believe the guy's dangerous then this conversation shouldn't have started with her going, "Oh, he just wants to offer me a job. I'll go see him right now, let's go." Something broke down in this dialogue exchange.

Protecting you from what? Having to say no to a job offer? One you were entirely willing to go turn down in person five minutes ago?

Cool. You come with me, we'll tell the client that, and then he'll pay me my million and we bounce. I don't understand why this is suddenly such a big deal.

Unless he is sketchy as fuck but you were the one who said it's fine, he's harmless, this is no big deal at all. What changed between now and one cup of coffee ago?

This conversation took a huge tonal shift without any accompanying shift in the stakes. What is happening right now.

Sell her out to what? Do we both think that he's going to kidnap her? Or kill her? Or something? Because it's plausible but it hasn't been raised in conversation as a likelihood. Again, she was willing to go five minutes ago. She's the one who said this was fine.

And then Yakou takes the worst of both worlds. I will not collect the million for finding you but you should still take the job anyway.

What is happening in this conversation. T_T

Despite the weird turn this conversation took, their chemistry is still great. I like this ship. I hope it saves Kanai Ward.

Well, let's get--

While Yakou whines about losing out on his payday, MOTHERFUCKER FOLLOWED US HERE. He knew we wouldn't complete the job. That's a bad sign.

THAT'S WORSE. THAT'S A WORSE SIGN.

ASSASSINATION. I HAD IT AT ASSASSINATION.

Well, at least now we have an established threat so Yakou's efforts to protect her won't feel so out-of-the-blue.

KICK HIS ASS, YAKOU! Not words I ever expected to say out loud but this is a decrepit old man. He's probably even more pathetic than Yakou.

No, physics. That cigarette definitely fell straight into the guy's mouth while Yakou was gloating.

[panelshowsource]

HEY NOW...

aw thanks anon!! i did post my gif resources a while ago but i can post an updated one of these soon and include some psds! my gifs really aren't that good tho anon — if i'm being honest, i don't really spend that much time on colouring like i could — so if you can find someone PROPERLY good (usually a film/tv blog, as you can imagine) they may have really expert tips 🤔

as someone who has been at the ugliest end of reddit & discord tv/britcom fans' trolldom (too nice a word, really), and lived through the fucking unending years-long era of that one incel's rule over the panel show subreddit, i understand the reticence to participate in those spaces — even though, these days, they're mostly pleasant enough and subs that supply downloads (tv_bunny is life) are more or less transactional. that said, the purpose of this blog has always been to service the people who can't or don't torrent — who a lot of reddit & discord tv/britcom fans don't have the patience for, but i digress — so it doesn't bother me that a lot of my followers don't know reddit as well as i do. no worries!

omg! recently i watched after life (i love kerry godliman!!!!!!!), dara ó briain's new special, and i've also been doing my biannual re-listen of the entire horne section podcast because it is so fucking impeccable chef's kiss! i was catching up on guessable but it's really, deeply, truly mid, so i kinda gave up for a while and switched over to breeders (martin freeman agenda continues). otherwise non-panel show things, some films like close, return to dust, un beau matin, etc. — but that's for my main hehe i'm someone who wishes i could watch 10000 things in one day T_T

hahaha i do get asked this a lot!!! like you there's just so. many. and i often chicken out of substantially answering this because if i forget anyone i'll kick myself SO hard later

but

back in the day i answered a similar question about some non-comedians i want to see on taskmaster AND I SAID AMELIA DIMOLDENBERG AND IT CAME TRUE

LIKE

MY BRAIN ���🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠

SO MAYBE I CAN MANIFEST THINGS LET'S TRY 🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮

this is personal to me, of course, and i'm considering people i really love + who i think would be really fun specifically on taskmaster, so in a somewhat priority order...

robert webb

stephen mangan

robert irwin

martin freeman

catherine tate

jessica hynes

miles jupp

simon amstell (preferably on the same season as jessica hynes because about 15 years ago (literally) i used to watch this clip religiously, and i'm sure that has something very specific to say about why i am the way i am but we don't have time to psychoanalyse me rn)

larry dean

ed byrne

holly walsh

diane morgan

daniel radcliffe

charlie brooker

hugh laurie

susie dent (omg i was CACKLING at susie, who is never on panel shows(!!!), being on the same episode of guessable as nick helm — and now i kinda wanna see her on the same series of tm as nick helm muhahaha)

kayvan novak

limmy

paul foot

bill bailey

lawrence chaney (i also love the vivienne of course! but i think lawrence may be more fit for tm while the vivenne is more fit for something like celeb juice; btw just watched her on guessable with ivo graham, and ivo calling her "viv"...omg...it did something to me...it really did...again, we're not talking about why i am the way i am)

vic reeves

the sexted boys

some other randoms people i'd certainly be happy to see, even if they don't make the priority manifesting roster — ahir shah, adam buxton, danny dyer, jimmy carr, graham norton, matt berry, glenn moore, maggie aderin-pocock, gary delaney, hal cruttenden, rhys james, huge davies, josie long, alasdair beckett-king, gino d'acampo, julian barrett, and tonsss of actors but we'd be here all day

i don't think there are many people i vehemently do not want to see on the show. while there are of course a few comedians i just don't like, and if taskmaster puts another tory politician on the panel again i'll fucking write in with my upset, the disappointment i typically feel if and when i see a new lineup is more along the lines of "meh they're fine but they took the place of someone i'd much rather see". but tm is also so good at introducing us to people we may not have seen much of before — and then we love them, so i trust the producers and alex a lot!

🔮 MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING 🔮

—

WATCH LINKS MASTERPOST / FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 53 - baking something with all those apples I cut in the kitchen

Love that a lot of the episode titles have two meaning or are outright puns. Crusader here referring to the tank and the knight corpse.

Another I had a bit of a hard time following. I think the voice acting is really fitting here, but the frantic tone messes with my ability to process what's told.

Gloucestershire… British pls… why? Just… why??? T_T (Knowing that this is a trick pronunciation I would just say "Gloshshshshsh")

"I was the gunner. I’ve always had good eyes, you see, and you really need that for the gun." - Good eyes you say…?

3:29 " The Italians had unsurprisingly taken a page out of Rommel’s handbook", right at "page", someone turns a page! The VA actually turning the page of the script or intentional soundscaping (since there is more paper rustling to come)?

"Then I saw it: a flash of light, a twinkling glint of sun from the enemy tank. In the back of my mind, I knew what it meant: the sun reflecting off their own binoculars" - music is playing at this part and I don't understand why? xD Usually music accompanies something spooky happening. While this is a scary situation especially hearing someone burning to death without any way to help them, I don't know if it's mean to be supernatural spooky stuff? I mean it's an Eye statement, binoculars would fit that bill, but otherwise?

Very soft at 5:33, very briefly at 6:58, 7:49 - scraping sounds (at 7:00 with a knock, like making a period with a pencil) and paper shuffling like someone's taking notes? Gertrude perhaps? I think this is indeed intentional soundscaping.

10:10 also shuffling can be heard. All throughout the statement there's a bit of shuffling here and there, I think it fits very well.

"but instead there came the scent of something else. All that, at that point I had no idea what it was but I would have described it as not unlike wood." - Paper and Papyrus is made of plant fibers ¯_(ツ)_/¯

"It should have been pitch dark. Though there was no light at all filtering through into those underground caverns, but it still – I could see everything. " Good eyes indeed.

"At the same time I suddenly got the most intense feeling of being watched, like a thousand eyes turned to me at once." <.<

"From within its huge, flowing hood I could see nothing except a single lidless eye." - I think that one is the inspiration for the Eye of the Entity Tarot designs which are in the Rusty Quill merch shops.

GERTRUDE "The bronze grate over the entrance to the archive." <.<

WALTER "I have just now. That funny turn I took on the way down the stairs, I felt it again. All those eyes watching me." - <.< (I absolutely love this Archive lore in this episode.)

"There’s even one unnamed contemporary historian that describes the mob attacking the Serapeum not as Christians, but using a phrase which roughly translates as “those who sing the night”." - Worshippers of the Dark attacking the Archive? It would make sense, they are complementary. Things unseen and things seen.

"What was it? A guardian of some sort? Or perhaps… perhaps… it too was once an archivist." - Ok, so on my first listen I already had a suspicion that Archivists are not just people in an archiving job. Jane called Jon "Archivist". Also before I reached this episode my sister once called me "Archivist" and I was already like "Why would she do that if there wasn't a deeper meaning?". Hearing Gertrude contemplating, if this creature was once an Archivist, confirmed my suspicions.

Martin being a blessing once again! <3

"I just worry. You needed five stitches after you “accidentally” stabbed yourself with the bread knife." - My sister visited me just two days ago and she managed to stab herself with the bread knife XD Nothing severely, but it made me laugh. Also, Martin totally doesn't believe Jon here…

Ok ok, Martin asks Jon, if he wants a sandwich! I understood this like "Should I get a sandwich for you while you stay here and I go alone". And then Jon says he's coming with Martin! He totally didn't have to do that? Does he think Martin would poison the sandwich? I mean, Martin could poison every cup of tea he makes, so don't think Jon's thinking of that. Keeping an extra eye on Martin? Personally, that's my headcanon: This is where Jon starts going on lunch breaks with Martin. At first under the pretense of more surveillance and trying to find out more about him. But eventually he starts to just enjoy it and keeps doing it, especially after he finds out what that letter to his mum was about (in like 3 episodes). I mean, it would make sense, right? Why would someone think of the two of them "being close" otherwise?

"It reports an explosion in Alexandria which destroyed several buildings in the vicinity of Pompey’s Pillar and killed 17 people. Official investigation determined it to be a gas mains explosion" - THAT FUCKING FORESHADOWING!!!!! Biggest weakness of an Archive - gas mains.

Those damn gas mains are always full of spiders

[caregiver-twylas-daycare]

I'm so sad I don't have a CG or anyone like that at all T_T I wishing had somebody to talk about my plushies or cuddle with and eat cute snacks and stuff...my friends know but the usually don't even talk to me when I'm regressed :(

Also I don't know why but I feel a bit embarassed about it and also a little invalid because I don't fully go into kid mode when I regress? Like I can "turn it off"

- @lilbugzvamp

Oh sweetie!

I think that's a huge reason why there is such a huge age regression community on here. It's a reason why I made this account. If you ever feel like you want to chat, my messages are open.

No matter how you age regress, your regression is valid! It's okay to have feelings of embarrassment about things that people, even friends, don't understand. Sometimes, they need more education about the topic, and sometimes, they are not willing to communicate how they feel. It's all up to have you mentally feel when telling someone about this very vulnerable identity about you.

Your regression is yours. It can be very individual and as unique as you are.

[chaos0pikachu]

👄 for the ask game- happy Valentine’s Day! 🌈💖

oh damn I'm not prepared lol uuuuh okay so

👄- fav kiss (recent or all-time)

Oof, I'm gonna name a couple I think b/c I can't pick and I never said I wasn't a cheater!!

In not particular order:

Jack/Rose (Titanic) - the reunited kiss, after Rose jumps off the life boat and runs back to Jack. I'm actually a big fan of Titanic, it's one of the best films in cinema history IMO both thematically and on a technical level (everyone who argues about the stupid door or Rose not seeing her husband but Jack at the end doesn't understand narrative fight me).

Kinn/Porsche - episode 06, fuck do I have a thing for starcrossed kisses? Anyway, this kiss was peak, episode 6 in general was peak but this kiss was really the climax of the episodes story. I've seen a lot of "kisses that lead into a couple becoming a couple" but this one was special. I love the emotions in this kiss, Kinn giving Porsche an out, and Porsche kissing him essentially goodbye. I LOVE that Porsche leaves he doesn't stay, he breathes Kinn in and then leaves resolved. I always low-key wanted a fic of what-if Porsche didn't come back (but Kinn was still saved just by the other bodyguards) now that the story wrapped up and we know what Papa Korn was hiding (his freaking MOM) and how Porsche leaving, going into hiding, would change the following events of the season (Papa Korn, Tawan, etc)

Kurt/Blaine (Glee) - UGH I hate listing this one b/c I actually don't like Kurt and Blaine as a couple anymore. Like most things on Glee they became intolerable and out grew each other as characters. BUT - but, Glee is the reason I even found tumblr, and honestly, watching them kiss live was an experience. So for sentimental reasons like, I have to add them. Like folks might not remember but Kurt and Blaine were a HUGE deal back in the early/mid-00s there wasn't another same-sex couple like them at the time. I remember when they were on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, like the EXPLOSION in the media and with fans after Teenage Dream really can't be undersold. And their kiss was an EVENT both in fandom and the larger media. So I might dislike them as a couple now, but we'll always have that episode.

Utena/Anthy (Revolutionary Girl Utena): Okay so, legit, I'm actually not a huge fan of RGU the show was kinda boring tbh but the film was better and honestly I never thought they'd let Utena and Anthy kiss but then they did and it blew my tiny pre-teen brain to pieces. It was like when I read FAKE and saw the word "bisexual" for the first time. I just never seen two girls kiss, I didn't even know that shit was allowed. Utena and Anthy aren't my go-to anime lesbian couple (that's Haruka and Michiru but they never kissed in canon, Haruka kissed Sailor Moon but not their girlfriend rip T_T) but like Kurt/Blaine I gotta spot them for what they gave me as a kid

This was fun, sending you off with smooches of your own 😘😘😘

[divorcingjimmatthews]

huge spoilers for s2e8 forest for the trees!!

okay watching this episode upset me NGL :'))) so much bad stuff happened the whole "get hurt in your dreams" thing is terrifying and so are the cicadas (boyd's worms were larvae?). we saw the community get splintered all through the second season so it doesn't even feel like they're all together in this like it did by the end of s1. each group is up to their own thing and not talking to each other because they don't trust each other—it hurts

seeing that some of the attempts that the characters made at connecting or reconnecting through the season actually failed was very painful. it really feels like things are getting broken beyond repair and i hate that feeling. at least we have the really cute and soft situation going on with ethan, julie, victor and mrs liu—ethan and julie telling victor about the internet was literally the sweetest and funniest thing. my heart is so full of love for this man

jade and victor

speaking of victor, it's understandable that he has been withholding information. he literally thinks that trying to leave will get everyone killed. it's also understandable that jade got so frustrated with him—he thinks that not trying to leave will get everyone killed. given the new terrors that are brewing, it's a good thing that tabitha was there to gently nudge the answers out of victor. yay tabby!

jim and randall

as for jim—i'm just gonna say that i've seen people on the main FROM server call him tinfoil jim and it didn't not get a chuckle out of me, LOL. he said that he wasn't gonna let this place turn him into someone he's not, and that's good, both he and jade are clearly struggling back and forth against the effect the place is having on them and i'm rooting for them to come out on top, but dammit, sometimes it just hurts to watch.

jim, couldn't you have waited until you could touch base with tabby about this? and the "interrogation" scene... what are you even doing, jim... T_T at least he's realised it now, let's just hope it wasn't too late

boyd and donna

the whole thing happening with team boyd is the biggest point in favor of victor's approach—did he bring all that shit along with him back from his quest? :') what is even the point of being able to kill the monsters if you've got much worse threats around now, that can get you inside your home and hurt you in your dreams. the whole thing is making me so anxious that it's basically making me want to agree with victor and donna and say that living out your days in the town the best you can is the best case scenario here. anyway—i guess that ship's sailed now. they gotta find a way out...

not even gonna talk about randall cuz im so disappointed istg T_T

EDIT: thought i should make it clear that i don't think what's happening to jim is his own fault. he would not be this close to his limit if donna and team boyd didn't keep everything under wraps. they should realise that what they're doing is causing the opposite effect of what they were hoping for. the issue here is that they don't trust their own people, they only trust their own judgement, and that's pretty fucking bad. and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy too because they've got people like jim looking insane because they're acting on incomplete or deliberately skewed information. i understand that they're dealing with more than anyone should have to be dealing with but damn. mistakes were made man :(

EDIT 2: i'm so worried that boyd is going to die because "nevermind i'll tell you later :)" is so ominous like ellis you're in a story!! there may not be a later!!!!

[fantomette22]

you’re so right in your art maria having gerhmans babies is the best ending to bloodborne how many would they have? probably gerhman wants many babies 😳😳😳😳

Thank you anon(s) ! (I don’t know it's the same person here??i guess?). Always happy to know people enjoy my ideas & drawings :) ! Especially that one.

Also I’m sorry but I might have understand a few of your sentences a bit weirdly too? so allow me to explain my position on the subject. (+I feel like you’re reducing her to just have kids ahah i don’t really like that. Not a fan of tropes where people just have many kids just to have kids too. But perhaps you didn’t express yourself well)

(So I have multiple differents interpretations of characters relationships at the same times and I like to imagined multiple stories too. In canon. I really don't think anything serious ever happened between them. An if there's indeed romantic feelings involve on one sides or both I don't think it went really far due to the mess in Yharnam and mental states of the characters after the Hamlet.)

While imagining stories, I asked myself many questions : what type of persons the characters were, what they looked like for some... and at some point what's their view of parenthood. Who could have kids if they desire and who couldn't (because pretty sure at least 1 human in the entire of bloodborne is infertile) who would have like and who didn't want to. (I have some thoughts about Annalise on the subject for ex)

We know Gascoigne had children but he's a last generation hunters. I don't feel like many old hunters would have children for ex. Because of the hunt & how uncertain the future was (+the mental disorders & illness the fishing hamlet cause...) it's not the best move to have kids if you get killed afterwards or if the children in question ended up killed...

Also the game not really about babies ? Ok birth/ rebirth (and death) are central themes and there’s Mergo, the orphan, the Vilebloods and all. It’s funny the humans want to become gods but the gods are envious of the humans because they can give birth… so yeah it’s ONE of the central themes with how far humans are willing to go… but i don’t see how that would link to some particular characters wanting lots of kids. ^^’

But well it's headcanons time now.

Concerning Gehrman, I feel like he didn't seriously consider having a family for a huge while because of his way of life but still have a soft spot about the idea to have a lil family of his own. And then consider that maybe he could build smt with Maria 🥲 If he's not an hunter anymore pretty sure he would make the perfect house malewife husband. But i also feel he's more like : "it's ok if we don't have children, we'll just have a dog then." type of guy. Not wanting to push things to fast and don’t really want too many too? Just want his family to be happy (I mean he’s not the one birthing them so he would like to discuss things first xD and he’s scared something goes wrong too.) will actually do a pretty good job at taking care of children i think.

Concerning Maria it's a bit more tricky...well when you look at the characters in the hunter's nightmare and everything you don't get the feeling she would like to actually have/give birth to a child. But it's a nightmare and I still consider the doll as being a lil part of her. She looks genuinely happy to take care a of lil great one in the 3rd ending 🥺 So I fell she might have wanted/like at some point take care of an infant if the conditions were optimum ? I even headcanon that maybe she took care of sick infant at the church/ research hall T_T I tend to makes lot of parallels with myself and Maria so i’m like hm she don’t want to ? Can she even? But maybe she wished at some point too? She don’t want to use blood as a weapon, a way to hurt and kill living being that’s why i think she feel closer to the church mindset about this « sacred medium » : she may think it should be use the blood to heal people, to give life…

SO anyway that drawing is an AU where basically the good hunter said it was "rewind time" and managed to gives a 2nd chance to everyone. (I won't develop too much here but basically the orphan of Kos lived, no RH like we know it and no hunter nightmare and Laurence didn't screw up that bad with the old blood) so they all don’t go mad and don’t develop mental disorders 👍

I love drama and tragedies i think they deserve happiness in the end 😔 (yes it’s my way to cope with the the sad things i imagined too)

As for numbers of children i’m not really the type of person to imagining lots of kids… i really don’t focus my stories on that (this one is an exception and it made me happy 🥺) and when i imagined oc or others stories with kids 3/4 of the time it’s a really conspicuous and responsible choice when they very long discussion about it (that work for this as well)

I know at the 19th century used to have generally lot of children (the grandparents of my grandparents were like 10…) but in Bloodborne & soulsborne games it feels like people who have kids have like 1 or 2. (Exception for Elden Ring with 3 siblings from the same parents! And even more with the half siblings yoooo!)

So basically i thought of 2 lil kids for now. (Perhaps 3 with an adopted one) but add one more if you count the dog xD

I have differents scenarios how things went (but haven’t have everything settle yet) but here they are in a lil house, next to the forest, and next to a village. A bit far from Yharnam (taking time for them but also still working for the church? But i had an ideas where they stayed in Yharnam too?) Hm i don’t know, i have a few ideas but i won’t in details here.

So i’m glad to have found the courage to actually draw & share it. It just melt my heart every time i look i it…(best thing to fall asleep in a good mood!)

[senanatheskenana]

Good morning, I wanted to try the survey event if it's still open. If not, feel free to ignore this ask. And before we get to the question, I apologize for the grammar mistakes English isn't my native language.

1. My work ethic is more or less chaotic. I'm a huge procrastinator who can't follow a plan. I tend to do everything at the last minute under the stress and the pressure. Even if I'm interested in the work, I'll zone out pretty fast.

2. Overthinking is my second name /hj. Well, to be honest I'm a very anxious person, I tend to overanalyzing every single thing. How the baker did look at me, my outfit, my haircut... What a pain. :(

3. I use to be a very extraverted kid, but as I'm growing up I'm getting more and more introverted. I like staying alone or with the few people I can trust. Honestly, I don't see why you should waste your energy by befriending a lot of people when you can use your energy to take care of your loved ones.

4. The answer is very cliché, but it would be Japan. I would love to visit this country one day, climbing Mt Fuji, eating traditional food and discovering their culture.

5. I'm finishing High School and I don't really know what I want to study. Maybe biology or history.

6. I love sweet food with all my heart, give me chocolate and you're making me the happiest man alive.

7. I live with my cat and my two dogs and I wouldn't replace them with anything in the world. But if I could adopt another animal, it would probably be a pigeon or a bird of some kind.

8. I'm a trans man and I consider myself as aroace. So yes, this is more on a " if I could to date I would... " kind of thing or platonic. And I don't really care about the gender of my match.

9. That's a hard question. Probably the hardest on the list /hj. I don't really have one favourite song, more like a whole playlist, but if I should give you one I would say... Fine by Lemon Demon.

10. Family well... All depends on your relationship with them and how they treated you in the past. Sometimes it's important to distance yourself from them, to let go for becoming the best version of yourself. But it's also great when they got your back. So to get on a middle ground, I would say that family is important but you shouldn't let them control your life or make you feel guilty for anything. Talking about kids, I don't mind babysitting or keeping kids at home to help a friend but I don't want to be a father. I don't want kids, I would be a terrible father and I don't want them to grow up in this chaotic world. If the world became a better place, with less wars and dangers for them... Then I might reconsider my choice.

And I ended up writing way to much, I'm terribly sorry T_T. Thanks for reading this, take your time and don't forget to care of you. Have a nice day!

(ps : I find your work very cool)

im glad you like my writing, i really like writing it :)

Also don't worry about writing too much, i think that as long as it's good, you cant write too much xx

I would put you with Kazuha. He's kind and friendly and most of all very calming to be around. Kazuha likes to wander around, so he'd be thrilled to travel with you. While Kazuha can be pretty quiet, he is quite good at calming and comforting people. Kazuha understands the temptation of procrastination so he'd try his best to keep you on track, he may even do it with you. He probably isn't concerned with having children, considering he likes to be transitory and travel but he probably does like having animals around. I can totally see him with a bird too because they can easily follow the Crux

[just-some-random-blogger]

!the second part from the modern!daemon nonnie!! the whole thing with the iron ring and the 'valyrian wedding' in this shitty office during the lunch break?? this is the contrast that keeps me alive. like no circumstance (literally) can get in the way of this love? this desperation to have each other no matter what and devotion on the verge of tears are so devastating. and i'm really greatful you didn't make it nsfw. it feels much more like pure adoration and magic (?) even. so spiritual and sincere. i love them speaking high valyrian so much!! it feels more intimate like this, the absolute magical bond. their own world. their special connection. it make me feel feelings. no matter how poor or not these are translated!! i (maybe someone does) don't understand then anyway, but the mere fact of this is more than enough! thank you for the efforts and not giving up!! finally i've got to aemond. seeing pairings for the first time made me scream SO loud. (god bless my neighbors too, it was 21:00 on the holiday) i absolutely believe aemond's (kinda) crush and his pain and frustration after the call and seeing daemon. he's such a pure baby i need to hug him. he deserves better but he chose to have a sympathy for the waiting wife( no but i really feel sorry for him and aegon. they're so lost puppies. i feel the huge urge to explain everything to them and comfort them (and tell daemon 'will you believe me?' while he's frustrated because of this all. this thought made me cry again). and oh! a couple of words about the call. intimate. it felt SO intimate!! all the high valyrian lines and all the pet names. all these sound so desperate and loving. like it physically hurts to not have each other for even a second more. and how the reader started crying right when i did? daemon should've heard it. you make us cry you pretty prick. no but how aemond was worried whe he saw reader crying- (tell me if you're ok with the concept of aemond and aegon falling for daemon's wife and i'll send you some interesting ask-) thank you SOO much for this moodboard!! it's so lovely!! and the fact that you were THIS invested it this work?? thank you so much i'm crying ;) i love you <з you've done a REALLY good job. when i saw the word count- impressing. really impressing. i'm glad you like this concept this much. it's a huge number and i'm just proud of you. and really grateful. for some reason i kept writing fell insted of feel and well MAYBE it's because i fell in love with this fic (i still don't know how you call fics in english TT). no but really. sorry for any mistakes. really hope i've written everything i wanted to bc it's really late.. or is 7 a.m. is early already? nevermind. overall!! this work is a real masterpiece!! it's so fascinating, feels so real and (my main criteria) make readers feel!! your language (like all this parallelism, tropes(??i'm still not sure about this title), just the way you write and so on) is soso good! your characters are so whole and realistic! and the image of the royal family of targaryens? i'm really in love. it's like the first part made me so alive and exited and this one have me in a chokehold breaking my bones. the good feeling. you know. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! *KISSING YOUR SEXY BRAIN A BILLION TIMES* (a lil question about part 3? ok this one felt whole and like i'm gonna explode bc of the emotions and this undying love of their's but you've mentioned it so yes. no pressure. no the smallest intention to make you feel uncomfortable or so. just interested) THANK YOU AGAIN!! you deserve a billion of 'thank u's but it's already too long. so long i hope you've managed to read it all. thank u if you've done so! and thank you for being the genius you are) and thank you for the best fic i've read in my whole life! love you!! take care!! <з

HI AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GOING THROUGH ALL THE EFFORT TO SEND NOT 1 BUT 2 ASKS ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS T_T

heres another long love letter

the whole thing with the iron ring--

i love love love loved the iron ring part. i actually wanted daemon to put it on her and say smth like "pls if you dont marry me and take my mummy's old ring, ten take my much much older ring as a sign you'll be mine because i will fucking die if you aren't mine" but then when i was writing the part i found that daemon was a bit to distraught to really think of anything, so i made reader do the talking.

--and the 'valyrian wedding'--

IM SUCH A SIMP FOR THAT PART I LOVE THAT PART SO MUCH I TYPED THE WHOLE THING WITH THE DASHED VOWELS AND ALL BECAUSE DAMN THOSE VOWS T_T

-- in this shitty office during the lunch break?? this is the contrast that keeps me alive. like no circumstance (literally) can get in the way of this love?

NO BUT LIKE YOU OUTWITTED ME WITH THIS. you're so so right, nothing will ever keep them apart. to be fair T_T AHHAHHAHAHA yn works at a museum T_T so i highly doubt its shitty HAHAHAHH DAMN IF IT IS HELP WTF WHERE THE HELL IS THE MAINTENCANCE OF THAT PLACE GOING TO THE CORRUPTION IS REAL DAEMON SHOULD DO SMTH ABOUT THAT, but no again you're so right i didn't even think of this juxtapostion youre so SO so big brained for that!!!!

this desperation to have each other no matter what and devotion on the verge of tears are so devastating.

and i'm really greatful you didn't make it nsfw. it feels much more like pure adoration and magic (?) even. so spiritual and sincere. i love them speaking high valyrian so much!! it feels more intimate like this, the absolute magical bond. their own world. their special connection. it make me feel feelings. no matter how poor or not these are translated!! i (maybe someone does) don't understand then anyway, but the mere fact of this is more than enough! thank you for the efforts and not giving up!!

lol i had no brain cells to make it nsfw. writing smut it so taxing most times tbh. im glad it appeared like pure adoration and like magic, spiritual and sincere. i love love loved them speaking hig valyrian also. it does feel more intimate with it, an absolute magical bond fr. LOL i hope theyre not poor translation cause they arent really even mine AHAHAHH. thank you for appreciating my efforts to add the language lovie T_T

finally i've got to aemond. seeing pairings for the first time made me scream SO loud. (god bless my neighbors too, it was 21:00 on the holiday)

Ah yes aemond

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SAME i scream because of him too

i absolutely believe aemond's (kinda) crush and his pain and frustration after the call and seeing daemon. he's such a pure baby i need to hug him. he deserves better but he chose to have a sympathy for the waiting wife

same he deserved a hug i love him so much but to be fair, he didn't necesarily feel sympathy for the 'waiting wife' as you put it, but for his professor (and yes) long time crush. i will give you (and anyone who reads this) a spoiler AHHAA aemond met reader as a child (as a substitute teacher) and was absolutely enamoured by her because she was so sweet and kind to him. the reason why aemond likes reader now beyond the fact she is still sweet and kind to him is because she reminds her of that teacher, unwitting of the fact she WAS that teacher HAHAHAHAH

( no but i really feel sorry for him and aegon. they're so lost puppies. i feel the huge urge to explain everything to them and comfort them (and tell daemon 'will you believe me?' while he's frustrated because of this all. this thought made me cry again).

did you actually cry HAHAHAHH i love crying over fics so i dont really feel bad AHHAHAH but yes i also feel sorry for the brothers. they are 100% lost puppies and i want nothing but the best for them but in the grand scheme of things there will only be pain AHHAHHAHHA asking daemon if he will believe yn is a whole other beast though HAHAHAHA

and oh! a couple of words about the call. intimate. it felt SO intimate!! all the high valyrian lines and all the pet names. all these sound so desperate and loving. like it physically hurts to not have each other for even a second more.

i'm so glad you liked the phone call!!!! i honestly felt the desperation in their conversation too when i was rereading it algdkhalghadgh they really just want to be with each other so so so bad. i love the high valyrian lines so much as well as the pet names

and how the reader started crying right when i did? daemon should've heard it. you make us cry you pretty prick. no but how aemond was worried whe he saw reader crying-

HAHAHHAH THE WAY I LAUGHED SO HARD WHEN I READ THAT YOU CRIED AHHAAHAHAHAHAH DESERVE HAHAHAH I SOUNDED LIKE A WITCH LAUGHING HAHAHHAHAH I MEAN DESERVE IN THE NICEST MOST EVILLY AFFECTIONATE WAY POSSIBLE. yes aemond concerned for yn is everything <3

(tell me if you're ok with the concept of aemond and aegon falling for daemon's wife and i'll send you some interesting ask-)

SEND IT SEND IT SEND IT LET US DESTROY THE WORLD

thank you SOO much for this moodboard!! it's so lovely!! and the fact that you were THIS invested it this work?? thank you so much i'm crying ;)

im glad you like my moodboard too!!!!!!!!! i love it so much i make moodboards when im over excited for my stories HAHHAH i told you im lik 99999999% invested in the story

i love you <з you've done a REALLY good job. when i saw the word count- impressing. really impressing. i'm glad you like this concept this much. it's a huge number and i'm just proud of you. and really grateful.

I LOVE YOU

it honestly got so long i thought of cutting the story in half, but i decided against it and just kept my original ideas in like intended

for some reason i kept writing fell insted of feel and well MAYBE it's because i fell in love with this fic (i still don't know how you call fics in english TT). no but really. sorry for any mistakes.

thats fine pls dont worry about it 😭😭😭😭😭 you probably wrote fell because you finished reading the story, thus the emotions are in the past HAHAHAH you can call fic stories or what its short for, fan fiction. dont worry about mistakes im sure i made 100 ones in my reply HAHAHA

really hope i've written everything i wanted to bc it's really late.. or is 7 a.m. is early already? nevermind.

i hope you did too T_T i want to hear about every little thing that went through your mind. aND GO TO SLEEP MY GOSH IF YOU EVER SEND ME AN ASK AT ANOTHER UNGODLY HOUR I WILL GO TO YOUR HOUSE AND MAKE YOU SLEEP

overall!! this work is a real masterpiece!! it's so fascinating, feels so real and (my main criteria) make readers feel!! your language (like all this parallelism, tropes(??i'm still not sure about this title), just the way you write and so on) is soso good! your characters are so whole and realistic!

and the image of the royal family of targaryens? i'm really in love. it's like the first part made me so alive and exited and this one have me in a chokehold breaking my bones. the good feeling. you know.

IM SO GLAD AND HONORED AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THE HIGH REGARD YOU HAVE FOR MY WORK T_T LOVE i love how each part had its own effect on you <3 LOVE THAT FOR ME

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! *KISSING YOUR SEXY BRAIN A BILLION TIMES* (a lil question about part 3? ok this one felt whole and like i'm gonna explode bc of the emotions and this undying love of their's but you've mentioned it so yes. no pressure. no the smallest intention to make you feel uncomfortable or so. just interested)

IM LUV U I WILL DEFINITELY WRITE p3!!!

THANK YOU AGAIN!! you deserve a billion of 'thank u's but it's already too long. so long i hope you've managed to read it all. thank u if you've done so! and thank you for being the genius you are) and thank you for the best fic i've read in my whole life! love you!! take care!! <з

i read it all twice and thank you so much for sending this i love you so much im glad you like my fic T_T

[cameheretorepent]

Karma hit harder than a muhh

Hello ol' kindred spirit, It’s been quite some time. I've wanted to reach out at times and reply more but felt unsure if it was the right thing to do. On a personal note, things have been a bit rough on my end, but I guess that’s just the way of the world these days, isn’t it?

I wanted to take a moment to express my heartfelt apologies for how things played out between us. I genuinely miss the friendship we shared, especially my bond with N. She became an incredibly close girl friend, someone I deeply valued during a time when I felt I had no one else. Her sisterhood meant a lot to me. And the Court gaming sessions were the highlight of many days. I really miss the excitement of our friend group as it was something new and special for me. I think I've expressed all this to you before.

As much as I'd love to reconnect, I believe it might not be the wisest choice at the moment. I came here to repent. Looking back, I realize my actions were deeply wrong. Going behind N’s back and lying to everyone was a mistake I deeply regret. It caused a rift in our connections, and for that, I’m truly sorry.

My recent ending of a painful relationship triggered the regrets I've had to the forefront. I found out that he was engaging with other girls behind my back, under the guise of 'friendship', which has completely and utterly shattered me. However, it was a huge culmination of a series of red flags – his interactions with other women, his online onlyfrenz/waifu habits, and all the untruths which I can't even begin to fathom how much omitted information there was. I feel angry with myself for ignoring my intuition and turning a blind eye because I was in love and feared being abandoned. The pain and loneliness is crushing and unbearable on top of leaving me with a heavy heart and no one to confide in.

I hope this doesn’t come across as a pity party; it’s just the current reality I’m navigating through. Writing this amidst my tears is oddly therapeutic, allowing me a momentary sense of relief. The universe said sike tho, cause I'm sobbing again. lol curses T_T

Your message response, even just reading this, means a lot. I appreciate your kindness, understanding, and confidentiality. I hope life is treating you well, despite the challenges it throws our way. I am sorry if me sharing is disturbing anything. I am sorry if I am intruding. I just...am feeling broken and lost and deeply exposed rn on top of that. Yeeeek I don't even know if sharing all this was the right thing to do, but i just want to say THANK YOU and I'M SORRY I AM CONFLICTED AF ABOUT SO MUCH RN, HEARTBREAK IS A MOFO xD -AND SCENE! *exits stage left* *cries into pillow*

[elaichoi]

PLSDJJIDS I WAS THE OPPOSITE like i didnt wanna pay money but also like i had to have it to reach my fullest potential 👹👹👺

yes exactly i burnt out big time OTL cheers to being *less* mentally ill in the near future ^3^

that's totally understandable,, from the way i see it a majority of the asian population that goes by undiagnosed is v large,, and i'm not basing this off of any actual studies though i know there are some out there- but rather just the role culture (at least in most east asian cultures is as far as i'm qualified to speak for lol) plays in mental health makes diagnosis and treatment,, idk and just going by undiagnosed makes me sad that there are ppl who think this is the norm and that it's something you are expected to get over bc it's something "everyone goes thru" :( i very much relate on the front of gaslighting urself/being gaslit into thinking u just can't handle struggles that "everyone else manages to manage well" n that rlly sucks im sorry beb </3

DAMN LOL we r on the same boat on the same river 🥲 my little tiny snowball also started out w family problems and oh my god my mental health has come out of its hiding >o< i remember my counselor describing it as an unvented pressure cooker lmao

don't answer if you don't wanna, but do you still feel that way in the sense of repressing ur emotions? like refusing to acknowledge it ? i think i was like that for a small period of time but now im like the complete opposite which is like half miserable half not lmfaoo i will forever be the biggest advocate for anyone getting therapy even if u think u don't need it,,, but!! i also know its a big step and may not be accessible for some :<

no yeah cus i feel so gross and overwhelmed and like not in control of things and so ill start spiraling if i dont get up and take a shower ^_^

not throwing pity confetti in your face, just as someone who can relate at least in some ways, big kudos to u for having so much patience to put up w everything bc it must b very hard not to lose ur marbles all the time,,,, standing w u solider 🫡

OH TRUE I FORGOT AB THAT UGH BARF i remember ig always fucked up my video quality saur bad even after rendering n shit T_T

aaa goodluck bae<3 hehe yeah i always rlly want to after seeing so many pretty edits jdksdkf i might i might we shall see :>

STOPITNFSISD I WISH I COULD INSERT A REACTION PIC BC UR RIZZ GAME I HAVE NO WORDS HAHSDJJJ

mental health is such a fuck up like it's like a ticking bomb the way it can go off at any point of life and the urge to ghost everyone, im so ashamed fr

yeah like most of asian countries i feel like. in our culture mental health is seen as something that is seen interjected with "adulting" like when you grow up you're supposed to feel like this and it's your duty to like make peace with it and if you try to seek help for it your family members kinda take it like a failure like you couldnt even deal with this? there's just a whole lot of stigma surrounding it and on top of that, therapy not being that widely available in south asia is a huge problem.

bro pressure cooker, im glad to know you're actually very up front with your feelings now. it's always better than bottling them up, at least you don't feel like a stranger to yourself either, my issues make me feel like an imposter within myself like it's hard to distinguish between things that I feel like I'm making up and the other things that's fucking me up.

YOU ARE SO NICE I AM WITH YOU TOO MY SOLDIER ILY!!!!

lmao ngl I was like those scenario and concept editors right I would have continued to edit bc my edits were like THSIE most beautiful scenes in kpop mvs but I stopped bc the resolution was ASSS THAT TOO WHITE ASSS!!!!!

OMG i wonder how i rizzed u up 😩😩😩😩

[mazuwii]

Reiner Braun SFW Alphabet

 I'm going to college in a few days so I need to fill my sketchbook up with drawings so hopefully I get accepted into the art department 🥰

For now, enjoy blond teddybear alphabet, request for any character next since I'm doing the most requested.

—A (Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

•Reiner's love language is a bit of all but mostly it's physical touch y'get me?

•He loves the feeling of his scarred and big fingers stroking against your soft, warm cheek. Of course, that's the least he does. Reiner loves touching (in a non-sexual way) to him it feels as though it's transferring energies to one another.

•There is so much he does throughout the day, holding your hand and playing with your fingers, his hand on your shoulder when you two are sat down and a very long hug when he's 'needing it' (That's when he's feeling down, the most a hug has ever lasted was four minutes and trust me, that's a lot when you're standing in one space :"))

•For him, he'd love to tickle you with his prickly beard and have you cup his face to make him stop, just hearing your laughter is enough to cause a swarm of butterflies to assault his tummy

•He is a big fan of rubs. Rub his tummy, his cheek, his back, thigh- it causes him to further on the brink of insanity. It feels so good and reassuring.

—B (Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

•Reiner is your mini cheerleader, he'd been there for you since you showed him kindness and loyalty, genuinely shocked that you'd ditch all of your friends for him. From that moment on, he became your partner in crime.

•It all began when his and your friends set him up. Where they all lied about the direction and date of an outing. When you and him were running an errand together, you began blabbing on about the place you and your friends were going to go and without realising, Reiner found out he was purposely left out.

You stopped talking when you noticed his shoulders sag, usually smug face bland. "Reiner?" You whispered, already understanding what had happened.

"I didn't know I was that annoying." He laughed dryly, absolutely no humour in hid voice. You gritted your teeth and gripped the handle of the box harder. How could they do this?! Reiner was the best out of the group! "Fuck those snakes. You and me are going to that event alone."

•Nah you guys didn't end up going, sure you went at first but when you arrived, your friends were eyeing you up and down and it almost ended in a physical fight between you and one of them so Reiner dragged you out of there. Don't worry, you spent the rest of the evening with your fun grandma (IDK how she hasn't broken her spine yet) surprisingly, her and Reiner shared one brain cell through out the entire day💀

—C (Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

•Are you kidding me?! Of course, he loves cuddling!

•Overtime, I would headcanon that Reiner's muscles softened so he became very squishy and fun to hug. So warm, so pudgy

•Since in the daytime, you and him are a bit too busy, it would always be at night time where the moment you crawl into bed, he hugs you to his chest and whispers small but sweet things about how he's waited all day for this.

•He's so big that you'd feel so safe :") huge weighted blanket that helps the nightmares fuck off T_T

•The way Reiner cuddles you feels as though you're the only thing left to cling onto, while he may not say it aloud, he thinks it every time you leap onto him. Ugh, I love him sm 😒

—D (Domestic. Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

•After all he's been through, of course he wants to settle down. Preferably with a kind and caring wife. I see him as a farm dad I AM SO SORRYYY😭 LOOK AT HIM. Imagine him chopping wood and tell me it isn't canon 🙄

•If you're asking if Reiner would be a housewaifu, yes he would- don't argue with me bestie. I SAID DON'T ARGUE👹

•Wifey Reiner is always asking about how work was, kissing your cheek goodbye and wearing that cute pink and white apron you got him no matter how shy it made him when you tease about it

•I think he's clumsily okay with domestic things if you get me? He barely breaks plates but when he does he accidentally cuts himself in the process and you'd sigh when you find his hands covered in hello kitty plasters.

—E (Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

•I don't like angst, fu** off Mr angst 🖕

—F (Fiance(e). How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

•Reiner isn't the type to place time on a love scale. I think a year or two is all he needs to tie a knot about his decision

•Once he finds someone he feels is right for him, he gets insecure about whether or not he deserves you and you can tell when these thoughts hit him because it's a very specific stare. Like someone just betrayed him- YEAH that's the face! Slightly squinted yet teary eyes and a soft frown.

•There's nothing in this world that could replace the overwhelming butterflies he gets in his stomach when you reassure him. For him, marrying is like keeping you safe, from OTHER MEN BECAUSE OTHER MEN ARE DOGS👹

—G (Gentle. How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

•Being the giant that he is, Reiner would try his absolute hardest to make sure he doesn't accidentally hurt you. He'd softly pinch your cheek, sway gently when he embraces you with a weak yet secure strength.

•Emotionally, he isn't that scarring since he stays silent during most arguments. I would bring up his personality disorder however, I didn't see any of it during season 4 so I don't feel educated enough to say anything.

—H (Hugs. Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

•For the millionth time, I must repeat that Reiner is just a touch starved teddy bear. The more touch-starved, the more he wants a hug.

•His hugs are like a safety capsule LMAO WEIRD WORDING BUT THAT'S HOW I'D DESCRIBE IT! Like, there's nothing that can get you if he's hugging you, it's basically a spawning spot so nothing can get you if you hang around in his arms.

•In my opinion, if you two got in an argument and haven't hugged once the entire day, your heart is going to ache 🤚 idcidc he got you so used to his hugs that it's practically like oxygen to you- you NEED it

—I (I love you. How fast do they say the L-word?)

•It would be so very brief, he didn't expect you to raspily mumble it back to him. You were fast asleep, the warmth of your hand against his left chest

•At that moment he really realised how much you meant to him and the extents you go to just to make sure he's okay and he's just never had anyone care about him in that way before.

—J (Jealousy. How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

•Reiner can get jealous pretty fast and it ends with him being super closed off, he isn't making dumb jokes and touching you so that's how you'd know something is up

•When he gets jealous, he doesn't really do anything, maybe distance himself or wait for you to say something and explain that there's only space for one idiot in your heart

—K (Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

•When Rein kisses, it's a long press against *any part of your body* and departs with regret. His favourite place to kiss you would be on your cheek/near your jawline.

•He'd gently stroke your hair out of the way and plant a warm kiss on there, his other hand on cupping the other side of your face

•As for Reiner, any kiss is fine for him, however, he loves it when you do it lazily. For example, you're shorter than him and can't be asked to tiptoe? No worries you can just smooch his arm! Or if you're cuddled up and his face is super close, you'll just kiss whatever is closest.

—L (Little ones. How are they around children?)

•I don't really like writing about children, idk why it makes me feel icky and miserable 

—M (Morning. How are mornings spent with them?)

•Every morning he automatically wakes up at nine AM so if his work is earlier he requires an alarm xdxd

•When he feels a warm weight on him he automatically smiles, how could he not?! If his arms loosened around you during the night then he'd tighten them around you when he wakes up, kissing your head over and over again to wake you up.

•And his scruffy beard is tickling your forehead-- are you feeling your stomach twist😩?

•He'll deal with any morning as long as it's a morning with you, however, his favourite mornings are lazy mornings where you both have nothing to do. Usually he'd scold you for eating icecream in the morning but WHY NOT? YOU GUYS HAVE NO WORK TO DO SO-

•But if it is a work day then it's the usual routine between you two, he won't leave without a kiss though🙄 don't be shy, grab his face and-

—N (Night (How are nights spent with them?)

•Nights are fun with him and I say this because he's always asking to do your skincare routine and if you allow him it's the cutest thing ever.

•You're lazily sprawled out in bed, half-asleep while he's propped up on his elbow, making circular motions on your cheek as he rubs in your beauty products. It's a physical lullaby

•I'd say he's a nighttime shower-er, it feels more refreshing for him to bathe at night time so if you cuddle up close to him you can smell johnsons baby bedtime bath-

•Yeah, don't doubt my headcanons, he totally uses that brand and in the morning he reeks of it- NO ONE'S COMPLAINING THOUGH! IT SMELLS SO GOOD-

—O (Open. When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

•If Reiner wanted to trauma dump on you, he would've. Ohhhhh he would have dropped a trauma bombshell on you but guess what? He didn't, he didn't like the idea of burdening another soul with the shit he carries, especially one so pure such as yours. (Take the compliment best friend. Take it.)

•Although he doesn't speak of his burdens, he shows it.

•You showing too much love for him? He starts to tear up. You do something for him no one ever has? He tells you how he really doesn't deserve it and through his actions it is so painfully obvious he has issues

•I can't explain how hard your chest would ache when he starts sobbing. It's the equivilant of watching your stoic mum/dad cry, you never expected it but you never want someone you love so dearly to be in so much obvious pain.

•He'd completely wet your shirt in the process and feel bad about it. When he continuously apologises you feel an urge to slap him and get it in his head that he isn't such a terrible man that deserves hell. And that you love him- sorry ssjjsjss😭😭😭

—P (Patience. How easily angered are they?)

•Reiner is the exact opposite of impatient. Maybe Gabi did that to him LMAO, who knows?!

•But if you're being pathetic, too clumsy, behind on your life he'll try to help you instead of out-right insulting you or screaming about how you should get your shit together

•If you were purposely annoying him it wouldn't annoy him💀 he has a soft spot for annoying people FOR SOME REASON. Lowkey, he'd get you to stop by enveloping your body into his and trust me, he has the strength to keep you in his arms for eternity so unless you promise that you'll stop annoying him then you're staying your ass there🤚

—Q (Quizzes. How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)

•As his S/O you are SPECIAL to him, he remembers so much of you. He'd be walking in a park or something and remember a random funny memory of you and start laughing to himself

•Or when someone is having a conversation with him and they bring up a familiar habit about someone he just stops them and happily pops a: "Y/n does that!" "Y/n used to be addicted to that!" "My Y/n doesn't shut up about that. Bless."

•Fr he doesn't realise that he brings you into every conversation he has with someone and it's obvious he's still in love, it's so funny and cute

•When you talk, he's all ears, like an obedient but excited puppy. It all sticks in his head, even completely useless information that he'd teach someone else and proudly add a "Y/n taught me that." In the end.

—R (Remember. What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

•You both were sat under a tree, Reiner was slowly falling asleep against it, his hand clasped onto yours but he didn't question it when you let go of him. He liked your presence and didn't need you to talk to appreciate it.

However, when he felt the grass rustling, his eyes fluttered open, golden pools finding you straddling his lap with a flower crown dangling loosely in between your fingers.

He said nothing but watched you in awe as you crowned him with a pure smile carved on your lips. "There, now you're really a sleeping angel." With a small peck on his cheek.

—S (Security. How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

•Very protective, he just doesn't want you getting hurt, it would bite a huge chunk out of him and cause bitter guilt to lash at his flesh

•To him, protecting you is making sure you're happy and that nothing will emotionally or physically pains you. All this is done when he asks you how you're day was while he hugs you from behind, listening to all details while rubbing your waist in soothing motions Or taking an extra coat with him when you both go out because he knows you're too stubborn to wear one in case you get "too hot with it on"

•Reiner likes it when you are the dominating person when cuddling, letting him cuddle into your stomach, he feels protected at the feeling of your legs wrapped around his hip and your fingers raking at his scalp. He falls asleep in five minutes to it, it's like a spell😭

—T (Try. How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

•A lot of effort, it gets difficult when he drags his friends along and he's trying to pick between two choices wondering which one you'd like best and it ends up with him getting both (Mr simp smh smh)

•For dates he'd mostly ask you what you'd like. He'd do anything, even going to that zoo where the creepy gorilla won't stop staring at him💔

•Everyday tasks aren't difficult for him, he puts effort in by default (without realising)

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

•He does not give a rats ass about his well being.

•Bitch?! You're allowed to treat yourself nicely, what's up with caring so much about other bastards?! I get you like them and shit but still, you're a human too.

—V (Vanity. How concerned are they with their looks?)

•Not very much but he's still hot

•Still, he can't help feeling soft when you sit him down and perform your skincare routine on him and of course he blushes at every compliment you utter

•And his frown lines too! He doesn't realise he's frowning all the time so before bed, you kiss between his brows and it automatically causes his features to soften. It's so cute, he understands instantly and chuckles, bringing you closer to him.

—W (Whole. Would they feel incomplete without you?)

•Well, let's be honest, has Reiner ever felt whole? With or without himself?

•But he can't help but mentally crash when he smells your scent at random times, remembering the huge hole you left in him

•Or when he sees something you always wore, something you'd say. He stops whatever he's doing and kind of disassociates?

—X (Xtra. A random headcanon for them.)

•He is a whore for bedtime stories, loves falling asleep to your voice. RECITE THE DICTIONARY FOR ALL HE CARES! HE LIKES HEARING YOU SLOWLY GET MORE TIRED AS YOU READ TO HIM!

—Y (Yuck. What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

•He wouldn't want a bully, if he notices that you hurt people with no remorse he's completely turned off and disgusted

•Or a bitch at that- sorry😭 you're not a baddie you're just rude stfu

Z (Zzz. What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

•Night terrors seem to stick to him like gum from hell. He's lowkey embarrassed when he accidentally wakes you up by his yelping and gasps for air in the middle of the night.

•But you don't mind, you're there for him every step of the way to recovery, ushering him to lay back down while you leave bed to make him peppermint tea 🥺

[marshmallowprotection]

It's me again with the huge life change coming up...

I'm sorry for requesting so often, I'm probably so annoying and I'll continue to be until probably, well, Monday.

Which is when this huge thing is beginning... ;;; T_T

I'm just so scared - but it's not even a thing I should be scared of, it's going to change my life for the better

It's just that my overwhelmed butt can't stop extreme anxiety and frantically crying being my best reaction to anything unknown or new

And by best I mean

It's never failed me in times of needless panic

I hate myself so much for this

...

I'm sorry, I don't even know what I'm requesting.

One thing I do know though is that on Sunday I'll be an absolute mess.

It seems so cruel to always ask for comfort and motivation

But I know that on Sunday I'll just collapse in believing that the end of the world is coming on Monday:; ...XD

...

I don't really have anyone around me who actually understands me like Saeran does. When I don't know how to express myself I guess, I always just reach for him.

..

Sometimes I just beg that he was real.

Ugh...

I'm starting to cry even now XDDD

Saeran knows when you're having a hard day. It's in your eyes... no matter how much you want to wave him off and say that you're okay. He knows that lie because he's told it many times before, and he had to learn the hard way that hiding his feelings and thoughts from the people he loves the most just denies him the support that he needed in the first place. He struggles with that sometimes, but he's gotten better about it because he's willing to admit when he's overwhelmed by something.

That's why you should turn to him when you feel blue. He'll always listen to you. Like right now, as you sit down in a pit of emotions that you don't know how to unpack, he's waiting for you to come into his arms so he can hold you tightly. You don't have to know what to do or say. All you need to do is be willing to take his open arms as a place for you to cry and vent your frustrations and fears about the future in sight.

He'll stroke your hair and kiss your forehead. "My love, don't fear or despair about what's to come now. It will be in front of you before you know it... and you'll face it just like anything else you've been afraid of. You'll be strong and bold even if you're scared. I know you will. I know you can face your fears and smile once they're done, and I'll be here to hold your hand no matter what happens. Breathe, remember the moment won't last forever, and that you survived every hard day before this one, so you can make it through today."