#this is such a dad joke tho

[rika-mortis]

Headcanon: Deep down they both want to be their fairy godparent/godkid again after losing them, but don't believe they deserve each other and feel like they aren't worthy to be their companion anymore

They both need counseling and therapy as a whole package

[choccy-milky]

herbology class 🌹🌿 (from chap 2 of my fic!)

[forsworned]

I feel like Keegan despises new age slang soooo much and Merrick and Kick absolutely love to tease him about it. Well, mostly Kick. Like they'll just be chatting it up and Kick will ALWAYS start it off by saying some dumb dickhead shit after a de-brief,

Kick: "That op was lit af."

And Keegan scrunches his face in disgust with his hand hovering over his rifle.

Keegan: "Lit? What the hell does that even mean?"

And Merrick just has this huge silly grin on his face and takes a pause from looking over his stack of documents to see what ever stupidity will come out of Kick's mouth.

Kick: "You know, lit. Like awesome, exciting, epic. Come on, Russ, keep up with the times."

And Keegan just shakes his head at him and calls him 'ridiculous', but Kick literally cannot help himself. It's like the child in him is getting giddier by the second by provoking an 'elder'.

Merrick: "Kick, lay off. You know how Keegan feels about your damn slang."

Kick, playful punching Keegan on the shoulder: "Oh, come on, Merrick. It's all in good fun. Maybe, you should use the lingo every now and again. It'll make you seem less, you know, ancient."

And so obviously Keegan shoots him an icy glare with those sexy glacial hues telling him he absolutely does not need to 'embrace' anything and that the mission was a success, so that's all that really counts anyways.

But the grin on Kick's face grows wider: "You know, Keegan, that attitude is pretty sus."

Keegan, looks at him with disgust: "Sus?"

Kick: "Yeah, like suspicious. You got somethin' to hide, Serg?"

Keegan: "Only thing suspicious around here is your vocabulary."

Merrick, stifling his laughter: "Alright, Kick, you've had your fun. Leave the man alone."

It's truly like poking the bear with the two of them, and Kick will always love getting a rise out of Keegan. He'll always be a Sergeant first and a dickhead second.

[buckley-simp]

Someone make an inside out 2 cup that says "Anxietea".

(she's needs her cup of tea in her massage chair!)

[shit-sorry-fuck-mybad]

Give me widower Mav who has come to terms with his husband’s death and now gets to make jokes and comments about it which makes people uncomfortable while he finds it hilarious pls

As someone who lost their father a long time ago I have reached that point where I can make jokes and comments and like to my close friends it’s funny but to someone I don’t know it’s… strange cause they don’t know how to react and it’s truly a small moment of absolute joy cause they make it weirder than it needs to be

Here is what I mean:

Fanboy: Hi Mav! I like your hoodie!

Mav: thanks, it belonged to my dead husband

Fanboy:

Mav: he’s not gonna use it so

…

Hangman, pointing at the ring on Mav’s dog tags: you’re married?

Mav: I was, but sadly he died on a terrible accident

Hangman: oh I’m sorry—

Mav: I’m kidding, he didn’t die on an accident

Hangman: oh thank god I thought I—

Mav: he died of cancer

…

Mav: my husband used to hate this movie

Phoenix: what made him change his mind?

Mav: oh he didn’t, he just died

…

Mav: I miss my husband

Coyote: why, where is he?

Mav: I want to say heaven but he was a weird man so honestly I don’t know

…

Cyclone: Maverick where is the paperwork I asked for

Mav: oh I’m sorry? I was mourning the death of my husband, in case you hadn’t noticed, the audacity, I cannot believe you would come for a widower like this—

[skyblueartt]

im posting this without any context

[pikhachu]

[livwritesstuff]

a happening in the harrington house circa 2010-ish

(aka another example of Eddie being a kind, loving, gentle parent like Wayne was to him and Steve being absolutely fine with his children being mostly feral as long as they’re alive)

“Dad, am I adopted?”

Eddie blinks, then furrows his eyes as he looks at his seven-year-old daughter, Robbie (who he hadn’t even heard come into the room, to be honest), because he knows that he and Steve have been very upfront with all three of their children about how they’re adopted.

“Yes,” he tells her, “You’re adopted. You’re all adopted.”

“Then how come Hazel and Moe look like sisters and they don’t look like me?” she asks.

And Eddie feels his heart break a little bit.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he says, running a hand over her curls, “Well, first of all, you all look very similar, and you do all have the same mom, 100%. Sometimes genes are just weird that way.”

Robbie scrunches her nose, “Jeans?”

“Uhh…” he trails off, scratching his head and knowing full well he barely made it through sophomore biology (and that was almost thirty years ago).

When Steve comes home thirty minutes later, he finds Robbie Skyping with Dustin in Indiana and he’s got his camera facing a white board while he talks the first-grader and her middle-aged dad through a very basic explanation of punnett squares and genetics.

“What’s going on?” he asks skeptically, dropping his backpack onto the counter.

“Uncle Dustin’s showing me why me and Moe aren’t related,” Robbie replies, not taking her eyes off the computer screen.

“No,” Dustin cuts in emphatically.

Steve looks at his husband for an explanation.

“She thinks she’s not related to Moe and Hazel because she doesn’t look like them,” Eddie tells him.

Steve’s eyebrows fly up as he looks back at their daughter.

“Robbie,” he says, “Where’s your head at? You and Moe have the exact same face with different hair.”

“Moe has brown eyes,” Robbie fires back.

“And Hazel has blue eyes just like you. So what? All three of you are basically identical. When you and Moe were little, you were so tall that people always told me how cute my twins are.”

yEARS later, Moe and Robbie do that tiktok trend where the camera switches back and forth *very* quickly between their faces to show how similar they look, and their friends all comment shit like ‘wow y’all TWINS twins’

[kurthummeldeservesbetter]

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Fam and i were passing a sock shop and we saw a cyclops one and In Devious Union my brother and i said ‘cysocks’

[puppetmaster13u]

Y'know what, yet another de-aged Danny idea where he falls into another world. But Clockwork sends Fright Knight to go watch over him to stop something bad from happening. The heroes of said world were not prepared, at all.

[mintygreencake]

"Nothing bad ever happens to the Shaws!"

[peppermint-whiskers]

I offer a Fuck on this fine day

I had nothing else, forgive me Fuck gods-

[greektragedybitch]

"modern/progressive" desi parents are fine with everything as long as it is not in their house

[lesbianwyllravengard]

"Luis would be an amazing dad!" bro plays COD just to bully children.

[duchessripper]

please officer— that's my emotional support traumatized and reluctant father figure character