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kisses4kaia · 1 year

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in my feelings was so good ahhhh i would love to see a part 2 where its the morning after or like tommy slowly showing reader how he rly feels !! deciding they are gonna stay married 😍😍

yes yes yes!! so grateful for the love on imf tho i kinda wanna mention that it’s highly inspired by in my feelings by lana del rey. so go stream it !! oh and fair warning; this is tooth rotting fluff. do not read if you aren’t prepared to swoon.⚠️ (part one here)

blue velvet🥿 - t, shelby ,,

that night, you and tommy didn’t speak another word to one another.

for months, the only times you and him would speak would be when of two things. you would speak either about mundane things, like the weather and plans for the evening.

or, when the two of you fucked.

although he had you often, you were sure he was seeing other women, too. by the lipstick stains on his collars in a shade of red you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing and also by the hushed whispering of the maids, feeling pitiful for you.

it killed you, because deep down, behind all the fights and ‘i hates you’s, you loved him. hatable as he is, yes, but you loved the person he was when he wasn’t on his guard, who he was deep down.

but he was always on his guard. there were only a few times you had seen him off of it.

it happened when you were 13. tommy had just turned 15 and a party much like your wedding was thrown for him.

unbeknownst to many, tommy shelby was not a party man. never was, never will be. he was frankly the only person within his hectic family whom possessed that quality.

so, he snuck away from the garrison- where the party was being held- and carefully made his way over to the river bank behind your house.

he didn’t know it was your house, honest. simply, he loved the scenery. he loved the sound of the horses happily trotting in their stables and the sound of the dogs chasing each other around the prairie.

there was no fence separating your backyard to the river, and so one of your dogs made his way to the birthday boy who was dangling his legs just above the stream.

“hey, buddy,” he laughed as your dog snuck up behind him, licking his face and neck. he quickly found himself forever petting frankie and scratching behind his ears, too.

he looked around and behind him, but no owner was to be found. he held frankie in his lap, resting his chin atop frankie’s head.

thomas remained like that for a while, occasionally speaking rhetorically to the dog. “today’s my birthday, you know. they threw me a party, can you believe it? i wish they knew me well enough to know i absolutely loathe parties.”

frankie was soon asleep in tommy’s arms, breathing serenely.

“frankie!” your terrified voice called from a distance behind tommy.

he turned around to see your face relax at the sight of your dog safe and sound.

“i’m sorry, is this your house?” he asked, waving to the house and barn in the close distance.

the sun was setting, and the horizon never looked so beautiful as the waning sunlight shined on your face. that was the moment tommy knew he’d met an angel on earth.

the way your toothy smile shined stupidly as you sighed and nodded, being awfully proud of your home.

“oh, i’m sorry. i’ll go, i didn’t realize i was trespassing. my apologies,”

that had to be the first time you heard of tommy shelby apologizing to another person.

you quickly shook your head. “no, stay. you mind if i sit with you?” you didn’t wait for his answer before plopping right down next to him, your legs being even shorter than his as they dangled next to one another.

he looked at you to see if you were joking or just completely oblivious to who he was. then he laughed, figuring he was in much need of some friendly company.

now, this was before you and tommy had ever met. however, you knew of him, of his notorious reputation of being cruel. you knew what people thought of him, but you wanted to know him. to you, he was just misunderstood, and in dire need of a friend.

you two sat there and talked. minutes turned into hours as you talked and talked until the cicadas sung and the blue hue’d moon began her nightly waltz with the silver stars.

he told you about his birthday disaster and his family, about his love for horses and for knowledge.

he laughed, he argued, he listened, he smiled, and he was happy. really, truly, very, happy.

you didn’t judge him, didn’t hedge or waffle around any subjects in fear of what he might do to you if faced with an opposing opinion. you treated him like a normal person.

“i like you, tommy shelby,” you admitted, the once cool grass beneath you now warm due to your everlasting presence atop the soil.

“i like you too, y/n y/l/n.”

and you met him at the same place everyday after that, just talking. you told him everything about you, all your innermost thoughts and secrets. about your mother and your animals, about your love for history and reading.

and in return, he- eventually- let you know of his vulnerabilities and weaknesses.

from tommy, that was like being gifted the most expensive, purest, most glimmering, block of gold.

his feelings towards you were becoming stronger and stronger each time he returned to the river bank. tommy soon realized he couldn’t be around you anymore.

although he told you most of his weaknesses and such, he never told you of one.

you.

he felt a certain way about you, a feeling he couldn’t shake. he was growing weak, and thomas shelby could not be weak.

- and he wasn’t planning on it, so he just… stopped showing up.

for weeks, you would wait for him at sunset by the stream behind the stables, but he never showed again.

and when you became friends with ada and often visited her home, he would avoid you like the plague. it confused and angered you. how could someone go from so warm to so cold in less than a month?

you gave up on it soon after, figuring you wouldn’t chase after anything that’s running.

as a result, you ignored him just as he ignored you.

up until year 9.

you always wondered what happened, what caused him to become so cold to you when he was just letting you in.

it was too late now to simply ask, so you were left to be forever in the dark.

tommy came home late that night, as he did every night. yet another confirmation of his infidelity.

you sighed to yourself, forcing a semi-smile on your face as you walked out of the drawing room to greet your husband.

“hello, thomas,” you smiled through gritted teeth, trying your hardest to maintain a smile as he scowls at your sudden appearance.

“alright, then. i’ll be reading if you need me, i suppose,” he nodded dismissively at you, and all sense of respect you tried to hold for him, drained in an instant.

your smile dropped and you rolled your eyes with a grimace when you walk away, not even bothering to spare him another glance.

by the time dinner was served, you hadn’t seen tommy once.

you ate alone, as thomas was busy in his office. you sighed after you finished your meal, grabbing a clean dish and fixing tommy a plate.

your heels clacked against the wooden tiles beneath your feet as you made your way to thomas’s office, plate in hand.

you knocked twice, not bothering to wait for his response before walking into the study.

“you missed dinner, thomas,” you placed the food before him on the desk, disregarding the important paperwork and documents you sat it atop.

he sighed, looked down at the plate, then up at you through his gold-rimmed glasses.

“i’m sorry? is that what you want to hear?” he continued working studiously, secretly willing you to leave him alone.

it took everything not to set fire to that desk.

“why’d you come home so late? hm?” you asked softly, but wished to scream.

“there was work that needed to be done,” said tommy nonchalantly.

you laughed. like, genuinely laughed. “huh. work that needed do be done at brothels?”

he looked annoyed, like you were some bothersome pest. “why do you care? you really expect some faithful husband from me? you’re the one who wanted this to be an arrangement,”

you opened your mouth to yell back but realized he was right.

no, this marriage is not one you want. so? was that his fault? it wasn’t, but you so badly wanted it to be, because how could he have stolen your heart then abandon it like breathing? and get away with it?

it was then you realized you were crying. tommy suddenly rose from his desk. “oh, i-i’m sorry. i didn’t-fuck- i didn’t mean to make you cry,”

he tried to approach you, put his arms around you, but you turned around and put your arm out, signaling for him to stop.

“y/n, i’m sorry. really, i’m sorry. please don’t cry,” he ignored your request for him to stay away and wrapped his arms around you.

you tried to push him off of you, but he just kept holding you.

he let you fall into his chest and collapse on the ground.

“why?” you croaked out, looking up at him through wet lashes, your nose rosey and cheeks stained.

“what?” he was confused, but continued to run his fingers through your hair.

you sniffled and rose to your feet again, thomas following suit.

“why did you stop coming to the river bank?! why did you leave me alone just when you finally began to let me in?!”

you were hitting him now, pounding your fists on his chest, and he was annoyingly unaffected.

“what? sweetheart, slow down,”

your heart was pounding in your ears and you felt your heart drop to your toes when you heard that. tommy hasn’t called you anything but your name since the river bank. and at the river bank, his favorite nickname for you was sweetheart.

insanely enough, you started laughing through your tears. laughing because you were confused? hurt? you don’t know, all you know is for some reason, this is all fucking hIlarious.

tommy’s confused, more confused than you, probably. “y/n, what is so funny?” he approached you again, and this time you’re too wrapped up in your head to care or stop him.

all of a sudden, the pain hits you again, with the force of a train, and you are desperate for closure.

“do you know how long i waited for you? every day, by the river?” your eyes were drying now, and anger was overtaking you.

he blinks and suddenly it’s like he finally understands the seven wonders of the world. “fuck, is that why you’re upset?”

you couldn’t help but stare at his stupidity. “thomas, you led me on for weeks, weeks! and then you stop showing up, because, i’m presuming, i grew boring? or you found some new, young, prettier, thing? you could have told me!” cried your weakening voice.

he opens his mouth to speak, but you aren’t done. “i guess not much has changed. i’m still so boring to you? you still need other women although i’m ruining my life being with you, isn’t that ri-“

he abruptly cut you off “fuck, y/n! it’s because i’m ln love with you!”

your attention was immediately all on him.

“you… what?”

“the reason i stopped coming to the river bank in because i’m in love with you. the reason i go to the brothels is because i am so fucking in love with you and i can’t be! i know, i know, you don’t love me too, okay? i know this is but an arrangement, i know. but, please understand that it kills me to pretend like i don’t,”

you couldn’t believe what you were hearing, the word ‘love’ sounding foreign from thomas.

“that’s doesn’t make any sense. why would you stop seeing me if you loved me, start seeing other women?”

now he was scoffing at your ignorance. “don’t you get it? i can’t afford to be in love, not when i have the biggest bounty in the city on my head. i can’t put that danger on you, i’d die before. also, it scares me, quite frankly,” he whispers the last part.

you couldn’t hold back the twitching smile on your lips. “why didn’t you say anything?” whispered you softly.

he chuckled lightly. “you know yourself, you’d never had given up on me,”

you tilted your head in a ‘touché’ manner.

“i do love you too, you know. in case you couldn’t tell,”

a short silence whisked in the air like a winters breath.

“c’mere, sweetheart.” his voice beckoned you over towards him.

you slung your arms around his shoulders. “what if we… didn’t divorce?”

you smiled up at him before kissing him. “i think that’s a good idea.”

tags; @mrkdvidal1989 @fairytale07 @svtansdaddyx

#nonnieees💗#kaia writes! 💌#kai's got mail <3📑#thomas shelby #peaky blinders #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #cillian murphy #sososos sorry for delay on this #this is so cuteness im dead #tommy shelby fluff #tommy shelby angst #tommy shelby smut #thomas shelby smut #kaia writes tommy

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