#this is sort of why i enjoyed almond on a basic 'yeah it was nice okay' sense but hated the introduction of a female crush

[leatherbookmark]

sometimes i lie awake at night thinking god i sure hope wsn are fucking because it would be SUCH boring and uncreative writing if they went on to have wives and 2.5 children. and then i'm like hm wait but wsn are. and then i'm like hm no i'm right

[i-like-it-when-ju-sleeps]

I Am The Apocalypse (Part 1)

Pairing: Jay Halstead x  Sarah (OC)

Summary: Takes place during Chicago Fire 3x18. Sarah is a doctor at Med and in a long term relationship with Jay. She is at Med when the grenade goes off. 

It was still very early when Sarah Hale’s alarm clock woke her up. Groaning, she reached out to turn it off, letting her head fall back on the pillow with a sigh. She turned her head slightly and checked behind her shoulder to see if Jay was still asleep. Her alarm did not seem to have woken him up, for which she was very grateful. She wiped the sleep out of her eyes gently, letting out a small yawn, before swinging her legs off the bed and sleepily walking towards the bathroom to get ready for the day. After a quick shower, she threw a pair of jeans on, along with a basic light grey shirt. She tried her best to make sure she looked awake, despite being tired, and brushed through her hair before making her way to the kitchen.

She was greeted with the smell of toast and coffee and Jay standing there in a dark blue t-shirt and his boxers, his back to her. She smiled softly, making her way to him without making a sound.

“Hi” she greeted putting both hands on his shoulders and getting on her tip-toes to peck his cheek, making him smile. “Sorry my alarm woke you” she said sheepishly, rubbing his shoulder softly.

“That’s fine” he chuckled dismissively, turning around to face her. “I had to wake up anyway, got some paperwork back at the station”

He put his hand on her waist and leaned against the kitchen counter so that she stood between his legs. She looked down to her hands, which were set on his that were resting on her waist, and let her hands roam up his upper arm. Looking up, she could see Jay’s infamous smirk, the one he usually wore when they were in this position. She tried to ignore the look he was giving her, but still put her hands behind his neck and subconsciously got closer.

“Is your brother up yet?” she asked, “I told him I’d give him a ride but I’m almost ready and I don’t think he’s awake”.

“Well, if you heard him last night, you’ll know he must be a bit tired” he joked and she rolled her eyes, a slight frown making its way onto her face.

“Right… But I really busted my ass to get him this job, so he better not be late on his first day.” She grumbled and he laughed. She slapped his shoulder lightly, even though she couldn’t fight the smile growing on her face, before she kept on talking. “I’m serious, I’m not getting him out of this if he messes up, you know that right?”

“I know. And thank you for getting him this job, I owe you one” he said seriously and gave her a peck on the lips.

“Damn right you do” She joked before she grabbed a toast and took a bite of it, getting out of his arms. Fifteen minutes later, she was ready to go with a cup of coffee in her hand. She gave Jay, who was now showered and dressed, one last kiss before she left, promising that she would kick his brother’s ass if he didn’t show up today. And with that, she made her way to Chicago Med.

Jay shook his head a little, chuckling to himself before he went back to his bathroom to finish getting ready. He was pouring himself a cup of coffee when a young brunette wearing a shirt and her underwear appeared in the kitchen. He looked at her cautiously as he didn’t know exactly how she would react.

“Hey. Hi. Good morning”

“Melanie” the girl introduced herself extending her hand for him to shake.

“Jay.” he said shaking her hand “Will’s brother.” when said man arrived trying to tie his tie. He kissed the girl he had spent the night with, and she left to his room to change. “When do you have to be at work?” Jay asked his brother although he already knew the answer. Will was going to get an earful from Sarah once he’d get there.

“Ten minutes ago?” Will answered although it came out more like a question.

“Well you know Sarah’s going to kick your ass, right? It’s your fist day.” Jay complained, trying to motivate him.

“First and last as it turns out.” he said without a care in the world as he looked around the fridge oblivious to his brother’s glare. “Almond milk? You don’t have any regular milk in there?”

“You’re joking?” Jay asked incredulously.

“No. I got to get back.” he shrugged.

“Get back? To what? I thought the partners kicked you out of the practice.” Jay exclaimed.

“They did, but... now, this may come as a shock to you... there are other practices in New York City.” Will joked sarcastically.

“Hey, how 'bout, for once, you see something all the way through.” The older brother said with the same tone.

“Wow, you sound like the old man.”

“There it is. I mean, that is why you're blowing back out of town, right?”

“What do you care?” Will grumbled

“Just give it a couple weeks. At least. You never know. And you owe it to Sarah, she’s the one who got you the job”

“I got to go.” His brother mumbled leaving to get to the hospital. This left Jay sighing alone in the kitchen, hoping his brother would act more mature.

Once she got to the hospital, Sarah greeted the nurses who were there as she made her way to the ER doctor’s resting room. She noticed two legs coming from behind the fridge and chuckled a bit as she dropped her stuff and spoke up.

“Good morning Hannah” she greeted.

“Sarah” said woman grunted which made her laugh under her breath once more.

“Broken appliances again?” she said as she noticed the tools in her colleague’s hand. Dr Tramble hummed as an answer. “Well if you don’t need help, I’m going to go get some coffee if you want some.” she offered.

“I’m good thanks. But go ahead.” and so Sarah left to get coffee seeing as her shift wasn’t starting for another ten minutes or so. When she got back, she heard two voices.

“Hannah”

“I know who you are Dr Tramble. Will Halstead.”

“You.” Sarah said pointing at Will making herself known “You better not be late again. I am never helping ever again alright.” she said with a half-playful glare.

“I’m sorry but it’s just…” he chuckled, raising his hands in mock defense

“No excuses” she said and went to the fridge to see it fixed. “Nice work Hannah.” she praised.

“Thanks. Oh, and I am by the way.” she told Will.

“What?”

“Published.”

“Shared credit with three other doctors.” Another voice was heard.

“Published is published, April.” Hannah said teasingly.

“We're about to get slammed.” April informed and they all sighed following her to the ER. They met with Sharon Goodwin, the woman who ran the hospital. Many people were coming in, accompanied by the firefighters from house 51. Sarah nodded at them as they made their way in.

“What’s going on?” Hannah asked.

“Industrial ammonia leak. 30 plus are on their way here, and we're already full up with flu patients.” Goodwin explained.

“Round up as many O2 tanks as you can find.” Sarah told a nurse that went by and she nodded before leaving to get them. “Sharon Goodwin, Dr. Will Halstead.” She introduced.

“Yeah, yeah. We met at the interview.” She dismissed

“About that...” Will started

“Yeah, I'm late for a meeting, Doctor. Enjoy your first day.” She told him as she left, leaving him standing there with a dumbfounded expression.

“I'm gonna run over to urgent care, discharge as many as I can to free up the space. You start getting them sorted, and we'll go from worst to ‘I'm not gonna die today.’” Hannah told the two other doctors as she left the room. The woman who stayed turned to Will with a raised eyebrow and a tight smile.

They started sorting the patients, or at least they tried without any success, so April tried to find a way to help. She was trying to get everyone’s attention in vain when Severide decided to step up.

“Listen up!” his voice boomed in the entire ER. April turned to him and nodded in thanks.

“All right, we are going to have a very full day here. And I understand none of you feel well, but we're gonna need help from you as well as patience. If you're here because of the ammonia leak, I'm gonna need you on this side of the room when I say so. If you're here because of the flu or something non-life-threatening, I'm gonna...” A man started to walk towards her, dragging his chair with him “Sir, not yet, please. I need everyone...” April stuttered as the man stood on his chair.

“If you thought Ebola was a nightmare, I am the apocalypse!” The man yelled. He looked incredibly sick and raised his hand with which he was holding a grenade. People started gasping and screaming in fear. The man activated the grenade and the room was tense “Death to all Americans. You're all dead in two weeks.” was the last thing he said before the grenade went off.

[tataswish]

❝   familiarity  /  one.

━   ♡ ・  paring:  kim taehyung x reader. ━   ♡ ・  genre:  soulmate!au, non idol!au, fluff (with a little angst!). ━   ♡ ・  word count:  2.7k.   ━   ♡ ・  summary:  you didn’t believe in soulmates. once. that all changed when you met yours; all thanks to one little drawing.

author’s note:  hi! i haven’t written in a while so excuse the small mistakes, but i hope you enjoy! if you’ve played bts world before, some of the stuff in this chapter might seem a little... familiar (no pun intented). i also plan to have the reader be connected to every member somehow in this fic, so they will come soon! hope you all enjoy, feedback is always appreciated. <3

“Shit,” you murmured under your breath, glancing at the rows of baked dough that were left in the oven for a little too long. Rather than its usual glossy, golden brown finish—it was dull, and… sad.

It’s been almost a year since you’ve been miraculously hired as the pastry chef’s assistant at Hotel Mudrin. You say miraculously, because even without any sort of culinary knowledge outside of cooking shows, you still managed to land the job. The chef was somehow impressed by the basic strawberry pancake dish you presented during your interview, and instantly saw growth potential in you.

That was also when you met your best friend, Seokjin. He was a newly hired intern at the time, and with the two of you being the only staff members in the hotel within the same age bracket, it didn’t take that much time for a bond to form. Seokjin was always getting into trouble by his boss Mr. Im, because to him, this intern could never do anything right. But with you there, you were able to lend a helping hand when tasks got a little too overwhelming—and things got a little easier from there. You and Seokjin began to spend time together on and off the clock since.

You weren’t sure if it was the adrenaline or the mixture of raging hormones from being together, but the two of you decided to give dating a shot not too long after. It lasted for a solid two months—and while it had to come to an end, you both concluded that you were happier as friends.

And it was true. You and Seokjin have been inseparable since.

“____,” you heard the head chef call out your name, which instantly reeled you back to reality. Glancing down at the burnt dough on the tray, you felt a surge of warmth rush through your cheeks, knowing that you were about to be scolded at any second. “Are you okay? Ever since you came back from your lunch break, something’s been off.”

“No chef, nothing’s wrong,” you lied, walking over to the nearby garbage can to throw the current batch of dough away. A reassuring smile soon formed across your lips. “Just tired.”

If it wasn’t for you spiraling during your lunch break after Seokjin had left, maybe you would be in a better head space. But of course, spending the last ten minutes of break thinking about what went wrong in all of your relationships didn’t exactly help anyone at all.

The head chef could see through your lies too. And rather than questioning it, he only continued piping cream on the freshly cooled pastries on his side of the counter. “Maybe you need some fresh air,” he added with a shrug of his shoulders, eyes concentrated on his work. It was evident he was still invested in the conversation with you, though. “There should be a shipment of mangoes coming in in about twenty minutes, do you mind bringing those boxes in here? Take all the time you need. I’ll work on making another batch of dough.”

“I can make the dough, chef!” you tried to protest, mostly as a way to convince your boss that you weren’t feeling too off (when in reality, you were). “It’s okay, the mangoes can wait.”

As you were about to reach for the measuring cups in a nearby counter top, you were met with a look from the chef that clearly said: Go get some fresh air. Now.

So, rather than questioning it, you did.

After washing your hands and hanging your apron by the door, you made your way outside of the kitchen and into the main hallways of the hotel. It was emptier than usual—mostly because it was a weekday afternoon, and the guests who were staying at the hotel were out. It was also the midst of October, and the influx of guests don’t usually start to come in until around Christmas-time. Which was fine, because you weren’t met with the stress of having to make hundreds of fruit tarts in a span of an hour. Instead, you were able to step out and take a small stroll, which was always nice.

Upon exiting the area where the stairs were (staff weren’t allowed to use the elevators, per Mr. Im’s orders), you finally arrived at the ground floor. You always felt so out of place in the main lobby, with or without your work uniform. With the spacious area matched with gray marble flooring and sleek interior design, it was never a place you imagined yourself staying in. Only the richest of the rich could afford even one night in this place, and you? Couldn’t even afford a proper meal for dinner on some days. Hotel Mudrin was known to be a hub for millionaires, celebrities, or rich families alike—not for struggling university graduates like yourself.

But sometimes, it was nice to dream.

Quietly humming to a tune of a song you heard in the radio earlier this morning, you casually strolled through the floor, making your way towards the back door where the shipments would be. The subtle smell of lemon from the newly mopped floors was an odd favorite of yours. From time to time you’d flash a friendly smile towards the guests or staff members you’d pass by. But before you could exit through the back and meet with the shipment truck, you decided to take a small pit stop to the front desk and say hi to your best friend.

“Dude,” you began the minute you saw Seokjin behind the front desk. His eyes were on the computer screen in front of him, typing and clicking away, but you knew him well enough to know that he was probably playing a game of Minesweeper like he always does. Crossed arms resting on the desk, you then rest your chin on them as your eyes look up to your friend on the other side of the counter. “Remember when I wanted to cry because I realized I’ll probably be single and alone forever? Well my boss—”

As you continued to ramble on, Seokjin’s eyes finally met with yours. They weren’t eyes that meant he was ready to listen to you vent, no… they were wide. Like he was in a state of shock.

He quickly began to shake his head, which caused you to raise an eyebrow in slight confusion. Did he want you to stop talking? Shut up? Right as you were about to say something though, his lips began to mouth the words ‘I’m busy’ over and over again.

That was when you knew, you fucked up.

The truth was, Seokjin was still busy tending to a guest, and you interrupted him actually working. Turning around, you briefly spotted the guest he’s been helping, and god—it was obvious by the look of your face that you had just embarrassed yourself into the next century.

“Sorry sir!” you apologized quickly, heat beginning to rush through your cheeks while you bowed for the hundredth time in the span of thirty seconds. Rather than making proper eye contact like any normal person would, your view was glued to the floor. “I honestly didn’t see you, and I know I should’ve, but—”

“It’s okay! Don’t worry about it,” he soon interrupted by providing reassurance. Once you heard a string of laughter from his end, you knew that he was understanding enough of the situation. “I get it.”

While you still couldn’t find the strength to really look him in the eye, you only returned with a sheepish laugh. It wasn’t every day you found yourself acting like a complete fool in front of a hotel guest (that was more of Seokjin’s speed in all honesty), so you didn’t exactly know how to fix the situation. Instead, you ended up sitting there in silence until Seokjin rescued the conversation.

“Alright!” he chimed in with the clasp of his hands, which was obviously your cue to slowly walk away. “You’re all checked in until the 31st, Mr. Kim. Let me grab your bags and take you to your suite.”

As you were about to leave, of course, you couldn’t go without embarrassing yourself one last time. Just as you were about to make a beeline towards the break room—also known as the place you were going to scream in—you managed to bump into this guest in full force.  

Looking up, you finally had the chance to take a good glimpse of the person in front of you. He was tall, muscular, with ash blond hair that was parted in the center. His almond eyes were practically gleaming behind his silver frames, and it paired well with the two dimples perfectly placed on each cheek.

In other words, he was gorgeous. And completely out of your league. Which is probably another reason why you were feeling flustered beyond belief at this very moment.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly. It felt like a movie—with both of his hands gently placed on each of your arms to provide support, gentle eyes locked on yours. You could’ve sworn you felt your heart stop, whether if it’s from being embarrassed or… swooned, even.

Swallowing thickly, you managed to let out a small “yeah,” before fixing your stance. He eventually let go, and the two of you were able to laugh it off for a little. “But are you okay, sir?”

“Didn’t even hurt,” he reassured, flashing that smile that accentuated his dimples really well. An open then was reached out as an offer. “You can call me Namjoon. Do you work here?”

But before you could even keep the conversation going, of course, Seokjin had to butt in. Literally. “Let me help you with that, Mr. Kim,” he urged with a friendly, yet painful smile as he walked in between you and Namjoon. He then reached down to pick up the leather suitcase that was sitting right beside the guest’s leg. Eventually, Namjoon had to retract his hand.

You took it as your cue to leave, so you excused yourself from the two without saying goodbye.

Thankfully there wasn’t anyone in the break room to look at you quietly take a moment to freak out over what just happened. If Namjoon wasn’t so good-looking and one hundred percent your type on paper, maybe you would’ve shrugged the interaction off by now. But you kept thinking over and over about how you were going to run into him again in one way or another—especially since he plans on staying at the hotel for over three weeks. All he had to do is walk into the hotel’s dining area to have dinner, and you’d be there. Not even as you off the job, but you in that stupid apron and chef’s hat.

Head dug into your arms as you leaned on the table, you tried to think of something—anything to get your mind off of what just happened. Letting out a deep exhale, you decided to take your phone out of your pocket and scroll through your e-mails. The first thing that caught your attention was an opened one, the one you received from that psychic about your soulmate.

Your soulmate is a man who is hard-working and bright, he will constantly continue to prove that he can be trusted and counted on by your friends and family…

Your eyes continued to read through the reading the photo was attached to, which was oddly comforting. To know that there was someone out there who could potentially be everything you’re looking for.

He is understanding, forgiving and respectful, even when you sometimes make mistakes…

Deciding to skim through the rest of the reading, you opened up that picture once again. You couldn’t help but notice something you didn’t the first time you saw it, and that was the small details on his facial features. He has three beauty marks: one sitting on the bottom of his eye, on his cheek, and one placed perfectly on the tip of his nose. You could’ve sworn those weren’t there before.

“And I thought I was the one who’s always the embarrassment at work,” you heard the familiar voice barge inside the break room, which obviously belonged to Seokjin. He walked over to where you were sitting and rested his chin on the top of your head, arms dangling from each side of your shoulders. “Jesus Christ bubs, you were a mess out there.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you murmured grumpily, placing your phone back in your pocket. “Do you think he’s going to tell Mr. Im? I can’t be blacklisted from this place, I need my job.”

Seokjin only laughed. “Stop being so dramatic. He seems too nice to do that.” Shaking his head, he sighed. “Plus, I’m eighty-five percent sure he was hitting on you.”

“Ha ha, very funny,” you retorted while rolling your eyes. “As if he found my dirty uniform and the flour in my hair sexy.”

“You’re right, there’s nothing sexy about you,” he playfully joked back, which made you elbow him in the stomach. And all he did was laugh after. “What are you doing out here, anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be helping Chef Seong making those pies for tonight’s desserts?”

You sighed, nodding your head in response. “I’m supposed to be bringing a shipment of mangoes in from the back. Are you on your break? Do you want to come help me?”

With your best friend agreeing to accompany you to your trip to get the mangoes, the two of you head out of the break room and towards the back entrance of the hotel. As you opened the door to go outside, you noticed that the truck was already parked in front, with a few boxes of mangoes neatly stacked on top of one another. So, you decided to get to work and grabbed the first two boxes you see.

“Are these all of it?” you heard Seokjin ask (possibly the driver of the truck). You couldn’t really see, because the boxes were obstructing your view.

“There’s two more left,” the other person, who sounded like a man, replied. “Let me get those out.”

You made about two rounds in and out of the hotel before all of the boxes outside were brought in. Seokjin had to do the absolutely most as usual bringing way more boxes in than he could carry, and while he tried to play it cool as much as possible, you could tell he was struggling. His trembling arms were a clear tell that he could drop everything at given moment.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” you asked him, trying to suppress the laughter bubbling inside you.

“Does it look like I need your help?” Seokjin scoffed, which only made it harder to keep your laughter in. He couldn’t even look at you as he tried walking inside, because he was far too concentrated in keeping all of the mangoes inside these boxes. “Go away, you’re distracting me and my strength.”

As he continued to carry the boxes inside, you watched a couple of mangoes fall out and roll on the ground in front of you. He didn’t even seem to notice, because he kept walking. You only shook your head before bending down to quickly pick them up before they get too dirty.

Assuming that you’ve picked everything off the ground, you stood up and tried to catch up to Seokjin, who was already by the door. But rather than joining him, you were stopped. “Excuse me, miss!” you heard the foreign voice enter your ears. “You forgot these!”

You turned around to grab the mangoes out of the driver’s hands. “Thank you,” you replied with a soft smile. “Sorry about my friend, he’s—”

When you looked up to meet his gaze, it was as if what you were about to say next was thrown at the window. The person standing in front of you looked familiar. Even with the brim of his large straw hat hovering over his eyes, you could clearly see the prominent beauty marks on his features that resembled the ones of your soulmate in that one drawing.

It was him. It had to be.

[cloveroctobers]

ANNA-JULIA “AJ” (JONES) JARLETT

IG bio/info: @/annajj9x_ | 20.1k followers| Athlete | hey peeps can you stop asking me to throw it back cuz the answer will always be no! K thx take it easy 🏳️‍🌈🌻🏒🐶

21 years old

From bath, England

Hockey player as her profession for the past three years

Her position is defense

Their team name is “rowdy alphas”...yeah some team names just didn’t make sense or they’re cringe for no reason at all

Was raised by her mom,(her mom was a teen mom & had her at 17) maternal grandmother, and her paternal aunt (dad’s younger sister, who’s more like a big sister to her at 28)

They’ve made her into the person she is, literally

Her grandmother has a bed and breakfast that they all live in

the house is Victorian style—almost as if they walked right out of charmed! Instead of a big pink house, think yellow AND purple. It was hideous but homey and charming on the inside

growing up in a house with multiple temporary strangers wasn’t odd to aj at all, in fact it felt like the norm. There was always someone around to socialize with so that was quite nice

Her father was a pro baseball player & passed away due to a automobile accident

she has his smile & freckles

aj was also involved in the accident at the age of 6 & miraculously survived with intense injuries

Has scars as a reminder

used to have night terrors because of the accident...it took awhile—years!!! for them to subside

they’re all vague memories now (but the pain is something she’ll always remember) but she preferred it that way

she’s named “Anna” after her mother’s old best friend/roommate and was supposed to be aj’s god mother but she went missing during their uni years

the name“Julia” came from her paternal grandmother who she gets her wide doe eyes from

her athleticism definitely came from her dad

Her mother luckily liked to document things so there’s a bunch of home videos of her dad in them & pictures/scrapbooks that her mom has for safe keeping

She’s more of a klutz, tiny, and wears huge prescription glasses

extremely close to the three most important ladies in her life, so she’s always been able to be open with them about anything!

when she first expressed her interest in liking both genders around 17-18 her paternal aunt was all smirks, “i knew Britney Spears was so your type, yeah?”

more like shakira but Brit was just as pretty

her mother was a “cry baby” so ofc she burst out into tears squeezing aj’s limbs and peppering her face with kisses. She didn’t view her child as anything different... as she shouldn’t & was glad that her daughter trusted them with this significant moment in her life and wanted to be as supportive as she could

got books, watched Ted talks and everything but knew she could come to the source even tho aj was still figuring it out herself

her grandma dipped her head at the new info sitting at the round kitchen table, “been there. had a few broads in my life after and during my marriage with your no good grandad. Thank goodness the bastard died before you even got to meet ‘em.” “Mum!”

what felt like the biggest weight on her chest was lifted. She knew they’d understand but a part of her had a little bit of doubt, she’s heard so many horror stories where those like her didn’t have the support she has and that made her extremely sad to think about

i see her as a person that has/had many friends in secondary. She’s always open to chat and her being on a few sports teams helped her out in her case

very competitive in anything that she does & will guarantee that she’ll beat you. (“ You wanna race to the car from here?”wins. “Who ever cleans the most dishes the fastest gets the last slice of pie.”) majority of the time she’s right but if she loses?? oh don’t let her lose to you, it’s a pity party for the rest of the time ur in her space. Such a sore loser omg

stays active, always working out + has a gym membership and makes sure she goes at least five times a week

she’s very strong, loves leg day & working on her core

she’s about 5’10

loves wearing “gf jeans” since they’re super comfy but doesn’t mind skinny Jeans with rips in the knees every now and then

trainers and chucks are her go-to sneakers

has no issue shopping in the men’s section ‘cause who’s gonna stop her? Nobody that’s who

owner of over a 100 graphic tees + vertical stripped shirts are also her favs, SWEATPANTS/joggers?! How many does she have? A lot. Snapbacks? Plenty. Will she wear them backwards? Obviously.

Physical touch is her love language. She’s comes from a family that has no issue showing their affection by touch. There is NO such thing as personal space and that still stands with aj when it comes to relationships, she sees no other way

It’s what she shows and what she wants in return, if you’re not touching her in some sort of way, then automatically she thinks there’s something wrong or that she did something

Is the jealous type. It has shown in relationships and ruined a relationship or two

Has cheated on a significant other out of pure jealousy & is not proud to admit that

Does have a wandering eye but feels now that she truly understands herself when it comes to relationships, she’ll never act on it again

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I get libra tendencies from her so that’s what I’m sticking with. She likes to keep the peace (unless she’s jealous) , idealistic — always looking on the bright side of things, outgoing, romantic, and professional— especially when it comes to her team; her true leadership comes out, yet she can be indecisive, hates confrontation, self pitying — if things don’t go perfectly how she imagined/planned it to, the world is ending and everyone is out to get her, and can be unreliable—never on time

September libra to be exact

if she’s really in love/taken a interest in you then she gets nervous: blushing, sweaty palms, cracking her knuckles, tongue tied—the whole 9

she’s already defined as a puppy by her coach but when she’s in love? She’s a lovesick puppy!

her fav holiday is Valentine’s Day

thought she was going to be a pro skateboarder growing up but it took one bad fall where she thought she was paralyzed for her to choose something else

she likes her weed on occasion

Obsessed with all types of cheese except cottage, “can I put cheese on this?”

more of a jumpsuit kinda girl or dressy top with jeans & hoops on a night out

has a solid group of mates outside of the hockey team, they’ve all met and hung out a couple of times, as they should since aj feels they’re going to be stuck with her for awhile so why not?

They’re a riot when they all go out, let’s just say that there’s never a dull moment

fav color is periwinkle

enjoys ASMR, mostly in the mornings when she’s waking up. You know how people love podcasts? (Sorry seb & Nicky, she still wants to be on the show soon!) ASMR is her thing

loves tangerines, you can count on it that she’ll have one on her, “where did you pull that from?” “I’ll never share my master plan.” “You’re such a tit.”

Definitely prefers “fresh squeezed” orange juice & will make her own, she has the tools & the strength 😏

Very rare for her to get sick ;) & if she does she’s a complete baby about it

Will fight that she’s sick before she admits it, trying all sorts of horrid remedies & vitamins

loves summer & all things that come with it, the number one thing is leaving bath for however long she can for a new place to enjoy

when she arrived to love island, she was thrilled for the weather. Yes she was looking for love but most importantly a nice get away & that it was (depending on your route that is lol)

closest with seb, vieve, elladine, and tai but don’t tell the others that! (She doesn’t care if you tell Yasmin, honestly)

just because her & seb “dated” and it didn’t work out doesn’t mean they can’t be friends right? It was almost automatic for them to be platonic after it was determined there would be no romance between them, almost like sibs! like those celebs like to say—except this time these two won’t turn around and actually find romance

vieve came with seb so...but no shade aj did like vieve. She gave great advice (while seb sometimes didn’t say the right things unintentionally or what aj needed to hear) when needed, especially from a medical view and is very sweet

elladine was the one who had all the tea & ideas to match, she’s quite organized and always down for DIY’s and could suggest almost anything. If you needed someone to help you get things tidy or match/find your Aesthetic, she’s the friend you call to help

tai was the one she could be a “bro” with, sure elladine has her competive side (or controlling, depends on how you view it) but tai was the one you can run to for much needed “bro hugs”, partying, going to the pubs, playing sports with or against, checking out/flirting with babes, etc...

it was not long after the villa that aj had a revelation with her sexuality & fully owned and labeled herself as a lesbian

She was happy being in relationship with someone else or with herself, life was short and she was young so there wasn’t time to dwell and stress over things so what the hell?! Live your truth the best way you know how ya know?

probably smells like sweet citrus, almond flower, and sea salt

on chest days, she’s a sweets snacker. Loves gummy bears (also with vodka) , swedish fish, sour patch kids, etc...basically shit that sticks to ur teeth

put all her chips into hockey, while it was advised by her Counselors & mum not to do so, aj went about it anyway. She thought about the pros and cons but knew there was nothing else for her. So there were more pros than cons. She was meant to play sports, its what felt right in her soul

Made her feel connected to her father, when she’s on the field she feels that he is with her

 scrunches up her nose when she’s frustrated or confused about something

Doesn’t always grasp concepts right away, she’s a soft dummy but most of us are and that’s okay! We’re all smart in our own ways

Feels like sunflowers are always around her especially if she sees them wherever she is. They must symbolize SOMETHING, therefore she loves them

spf queen. All about it, get with it or let the sunrays ruin ur skin that’s on u

loves a good filet mignon medium-well & is probably the only good thing she knows how to make alongside a salad, baked potatoes, & her oj

sucker for romantic-comedies...it’s basically her life duh!

If she has a dog, it’s a Dalmatian or Great Dane. She needs a companion that’ll keep up with her

loves kissing, it’s her favorite form of intimacy

Quarantine life included the push up challenge for her. Gaining a few pounds in muscle and fat, bothering seb via ft, viewing old letters she wrote to her dad, spending time with her fav ladies since they were now restricted from having guests in their home, and letting boredom consume her + she hated the whole lockdown that came with it, she hated being indoors for long periods of time but she knew that’s what partly needed to be done

Posts a lot of beach, park, outings with her friends & team, moments with her fav ladies, workout videos, and guests at the b&b with their permission and if only she befriends them along the way. She’s just as active on the socials as she is in rl but she’s not obsessed with it, she knows how to live in the now. She’s all about balance!

I also feel like she never keeps her phone charged and it’s always dying on her! She had a car charger but...that’s a jungle. She needs to invest in a portable charger stat

crushing on/finds attractive: Jared Padalecki, Keanu Reeves, Barrett Doss, Camilla Luddington, Sandra Bullock, Adrian Kempe, Harry Kirton, Anya Taylor-Joy, Haley Lu Richardson, Naomi Osaka, Ming & Aoki Lee Simmons

who does she listen to? Shakira lol!! Bea Miller, Dua Lipa, Daya, XYLØ, Elley Duhé, Stela Cole, Aloe Blacc, Maroon 5, Lewis capaldi, Charlie Puth, girl in red, Hayley kiyoko, king princess, dodie, & tessa violet

Anthem: Icona Pop — we got the world

[imanativeofswlondondahling]

Becoming A Stark? (9)- Peter Parker x Stark!femReader

Word Count: 3037

Warnings: Swearing probably knowing me

Author Note: Lots of Peter, not as much Tony. Enjoy.

Chapter One || Previous Chapter || Master List

Something had gone wrong. You’re not sure what because no one will give you an answer, but your dad got back three days ago from Germany and has been at the Compound for all of it, at least that’s what you’ve been told. Someone got hurt, badly, but besides that you don’t know who got hurt or what happened. You were stuck with Happy’s substitute for the past two days and it was awful because he didn’t talk to you like Happy does, but even with Happy back this morning, you haven’t gotten any answers. Pepper has been with you for the nights, but she doesn’t seem to have answers about what’s going on, or if she does, she’s not giving them to you. 

Natasha’s phone goes straight to voicemail whenever you try to get a hold of her. You even tried calling Clint, Wanda, and Steve, but none of them will take your calls either. You haven’t heard a word from your dad in the past three days, which almost makes his apology the other day feel like nothing. In the passing period between your last class and your final one for the day, you see if FRIDAY can work on your phone since she does at the tower. “FRIDAY?”

“Yes Y/N?” This is the one time you won’t be mad at your dad for forcing the AI into your tech. 

“Where’s my dad right now?”

“He just left the Compound on a chopper. Want me to call him for you?” You should say no, but it’s been three days with no contact and you're sick of it.

“Yes.” It rings once before the call connects.

“It’s not a good time Y/N.”

“You know how often you answer the phone like that? Too often.” Your voice is short, but you don’t have much time before the bell rings anyway. “It’d be nice for you to answer the phone like you like talking to me sometimes.”

“Aren’t you in class right now?” His voice comes out short and he doesn’t even address what you said.

“Passing period.”

“Meaning you should be heading to class.”

“I can talk and walk at the same time. I’m trying to figure out where my father is since he was supposed to be home three days ago.”

“Things came up.”

“They always seem to.”

“Y/N, I know I’m being shitty again, but if this was a big time movie we would be at a big reveal right now.”

“Yeah, but we’re not. Instead, I just am getting let down again.” You hit the end call before he can say anything else and turn the corner. Maybe missing a day of German wouldn’t be the worst. However, you don’t expect to run into Peter Parker at the end of the hallway again. 

“Fancy running into you again.” He says with a smirk.

“Yeah it’s crazy. Like we go to school together or something.” You mumble, not in the mood to deal with anyone right now. 

“You ok, Y/N?” You finally look at his face and notice a bruise across his face.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You look like you got sucker punched.”

He shrugs, “It was no big deal. You should have seen the other guy.”

“My dad’s not a huge fan of his interns getting into fights, so I’d be careful about it if I were you.” You mention.

“Yeah, I will.” He looks you over as the bell rings giving you the warning that classes are about to start. “Where you heading to?”

“I’m thinking classes aren’t going to hold my attention today. Really long story. I’ll see you around Parker.”

“Can I come with?”

“Excuse me?”

“Can I come with you? I don’t think classes will hold my attention either.” He says with a shrug.

“Sure. I don’t have a plan though.”

“That’s the best kind of day.” Peter looks around the corner for teachers before opening the side door for you to walk out. You almost expect him to stay behind, but he follows, closing the door softly as to not alert anyone who might walk by. 

“So I never would have thought Peter Parker to be a skipper.”

“Never thought Y/N Stark to be a skipper.” 

“Only when the time is right.” He goes to walk out onto the street and you grab his shoulder pulling him back towards the school. “Hold on.” You glance around the corner, looking to see if the paparazzi are waiting. The last thing you need is for your dad to find out you skipped school, with Peter nonetheless, through the gossip blogs. But seeing as it’s over an hour before school lets out, none of the usual suspects are there. “Ok, we’re in the clear.” You motion him forward.

“In the clear from what?”

“Paparazzi.” You say with a shrug.

“They stalk you at school?”

“You haven’t seen them? They’re there before and after school like every day hoping to see Pepper or Dad dropping me off or picking me up. But especially since Dad accidentally leaked my name online, it’s been a bit worse.”

“I guess I haven’t paid that much attention. Is that rough?”

“It was at first. Now I just kind of ignore it as much as possible.” You turn the corner towards the coffee shop where you used to grab coffee before all of the Tony stuff happened. “Coffee?”

“Uh, I don’t usually drink it, but I’ll come with you.” You both walk into the mom and pop shop and you wave to Marcie who seems so happy to see you.

“Oh I should text Happy.”

“He’s an interesting person.”

“You’ve met him?” You’re surprised since most of the time Happy shuttling you to and from school.

“He came with your dad when I got offered the uh internship.”

“Oh I guess that makes sense.” You say even though it doesn’t. Happy was with you the day that your dad said he spoke with Peter.

“Does Happy drive you to school often?” 

“Every day basically. And picks me up. But if I don’t text him now, he’ll be waiting for me the moment school is done and I don’t feel like being cooped up in the tower so soon.” You pull out your phone and send a text about a study group meeting at school. “That will give me at least a couple hours before I have to meet him.” You mention as you shove your phone in your pocket. “Are you interning today?”

“Uh sort of?” 

“I figure not with Dad since he’s off on Avengers duty.”

“Yeah uh, I’m waiting to hear with who.” Peter says as he crosses his arms across his chest. He knows he needs to change the subject or he might blow his cover story and then he won’t even get to pretend he’s an Avenger. “Can I ask, why cooped up in the tower? I feel like the Avengers Tower would be amazing.”

“Maybe it would be if I had a choice in all of it. But I also have like zero freedom. It’s literally, get driven to school, get driven home, and school in between. I can’t leave the tower unless I have Happy and another adult with me because of ‘safety’ reasons. And I just want some of my freedom back.”

“That does sound rough. If you weren’t living the life of Y/N Stark, what would you be doing on a day like today?”

“I’d…” You pause to think about it. What would you be doing? “I’d probably have a sleepover with Betty and Astrid. Watch movies and stay up way too late. Talk about things that have little meaning like trying to get a date to homecoming or the hot guy in our English class. I don’t know. Just be normal. Not have to worry about the Avengers getting in trouble or whether or not my dad is going to find out about me skipping school thanks to the paparazzi taking pictures of me.” 

“The normal?” Marcie asks as you get to the counter and you nod, feeling a little bit of normalcy fall into your life. You give her a ten dollar bill and drop the change in the tip jar. It wasn’t like Tony wasn’t giving you an allowance now, as much as it was weird every time he gave it to you. 

“What about you? When you’re not interning, what’s the normal life of Peter Parker like?”

“Uh, Ned and I build a lot of legos.” He admits as a pink flush rises to his cheeks. 

“Those like plastic building blocks?”

“Yeah, they have some really cool builds and stuff. We’re working on a Lego Death Star right now.”

“Lego Death Star? What’s that?” Peter’s jaw hits the floor.

“You don’t know what the Death Star is?” Peter pulls out his phone and pulls up a picture. Not a Stark Phone you note. “This is the Death Star.”

“Cool?” You shrug as Marcie puts your sugar free hazelnut latte with almond milk on the end of the counter. 

“Have you never watched Star Wars?” Peter asks, confusion lacing his words. You shake your head. “How have you lived without seeing Star Wars? It’s literally the greatest thing ever.”

“I bet I could find at least five space themed books that are better.” You tease, knowing how uptight Star Wars fans are about their genre usually.

“Ah a reader.” You walk over to but a couple equals into your coffee. “I should have known.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You tease back.

“You’re missing out on some of the best films ever made because you think the books are better. Well I’ll just have to find you some Star Wars books.”

“Fine but no Star Wars fanfiction. I’m not stooping to that level.”

“Like you would understand it.” Peter teases back. Your phone goes off in your back pocket.

H: What study group is happening on a Friday afternoon?

“Quick what study group would be happening on a Friday afternoon?”

“SAT prep group.” Peter throws out.

“You’re a genius!” You quickly type back to Happy as Peter can’t help but smile at the compliment that you gave him. He likes being out with Y/N. You’re different from the brief times he spent with Mr. Stark or Happy. You’re more relaxed. More down to earth, and he would be lying if he didn’t want to get to know you better. In the back of his head, Mr Stark’s don’t even think about dating my daughter reverberates, but he can shove it aside as he lets you ramble for a few minutes about some great space books and even about the time your Pops took you to see a space documentary at the planetarium when you were a kid. But then your phone goes off again and you can’t help but groan.

P: Since when did you join an SAT prep group?

“I can’t lie to Pepper too.”

“Pepper Potts? Like CEO of Star-” Your hand flies over his mouth.

“More like my dad’s girlfriend.” Even though you’re sitting outside the coffee shop, you don’t know who could be listening in. “And she’s asking me when I joined an SAT prep group, which means Happy texted her, and she texted me, which could mean she might text my dad.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“Not touch it with a ten foot pole? If I lie to her and she catches me in it, it’ll just…” You mock an explosion with your hands.

“You could tell her you’re trying it out. Wouldn’t necessarily be a lie. You didn’t join it.”

“But she’ll want me to stay in it and the lie will just get bigger and bigger.” You leave Pepper’s message unread, knowing there’s nothing you can do with it right now. “When do you have to get to internship?”

“Not for a bit.” Swinging across Queens could wait especially since Peter didn’t know when he would get another chance to be with Y/N again. “What time is Happy coming to get you?”

“I’ll probably tell him to come in like an hour. I don’t want him to think I’m pushing this too much. Plus the longer I push it, the more of a chance that Pepper gets suspicious.” You take a sip of your coffee and then an idea comes to you. “Do you need a ride to the labs? Happy could drive you.”

“What, uh no, it’s fine. I’ll take the subway.”

“Right, yeah. I just figured we were heading into Manhattan so I’d offer.”

“No, yeah. I appreciate it, I just really like catching the train.” Peter admits, which is true, but also he’s not heading into Manhattan.

“I get that. The feeling of the train moving under you. One of the best feelings in the world.”

“Exactly.” Peter wishes he had bought a drink so he has something to sip on, but at the same time, he hates the taste of coffee. “Do you and your dad ever take the train and go places together?”

“Dad? Taking the subway? That sounds like the craziest thing that has ever come out of your mouth Parker. Dad doesn’t like taking things that people try to hand him. You think he would take the subway with me?” You can’t help but laugh. “He won’t even let me take the subway to school. I can count on one finger the number of times I’ve taken the train since I moved in with him. So to answer your question, no he does not take the train and he doesn’t let me take it either because it’s apparently a safety issue.” You roll your eyes.

“But you disagree.”

“I’ve been taking the subway since I was a baby and it only became a safety issue when I moved in with him. So no I don’t agree.”

“Have you talked with him about it?”

“Have you tried to ask him to consider anything? It’s like talking with a concrete wall. Unmovable and unchangeable. Hell, I can’t even get him to come home half the time.”

“That sounds lonely.”

“That’s the life of being a Stark.” You say with a shrug.

“That sounds unfair to you.”

“Yeah well he hasn’t really been home much for me to talk to him about it. Even if he had been, I doubt he’d listen to me.” Your eyes focus on the coffee cup in front of you, not sure why you’re admitting this to a boy you’ve only had a handful of conversations with. “I shouldn’t be dumping all of this on you. I’m sorry. I’m being a real buzzkill today.”

“I don’t mind it.” Peter reaches across the table to gently rub your hand. “That’s what friends are for. Listening to the hard stuff.”

“So we’re friends now Parker?”

“I’d like to think so. Friends skip class together.” He says with a shrug.

“Friends it is then.” You take a sip of the coffee in front of you and try to ignore the sparks that are sitting where Peter’s hand touched yours. 

You expect the tower to be empty like it has been the past few days when you get home, but instead Pepper’s waiting for you. “Oh, hi Pepper.”

“How was SAT Prep?” She asks.

“Fine. I was trying it out, but I don’t really like the group, so I don’t think I’ll be sticking with it.” You’re proud none of that lie got stuck in your throat.

“It wasn’t the fact that it interfered with your German class?” Pepper’s right eyebrow raises at you.

“Ah so you know about that.” You say, knowing that lying when she already knows about it isn’t going to fix anything.

“Yeah, funny the school calls when you miss a class. So want to try that again?”

“So I might not have been at a SAT prep course.”

“I had a feeling. Wanna sit down and talk?” She asks, patting the couch next to her and setting her files on the table in front of her. You set your book bag on the floor and sit down on the couch next to her. “Come here?” She opens her arms to you and you fall into them. “So, what made German not worth it today?”

“Do you ever feel like the Avengers are more important than you?”

“Ah so Tony Stark.” Pepper says as she rubs a hand up and down your shoulder lovingly. “The Avengers have a hard job, but I think you and I have a harder job.”

“Really?” 

“We are the ones that are stuck at home waiting for them to finish the battle and hopefully come home safe.” You lean into Pepper’s shoulder and nod- hammer meet nail.

“How do you deal with all of this? You’ve put up with him for so long? I’ve been dealing with him for a little over a month and I’m sick of feeling so angry at him every time he goes back on a promise.”

“I love him. Which is an awful reason to put up with it all, but at the same time I was there when he was originally kidnapped and I can’t put up with the idea of going through that again and not be waiting for him at the end of everything. We’ve been through so much and I know at the end of the day, he’s the person I want to be with at the end of it all. He’s impulsive and at times crazy, but he also is loving and wonderful.” Pepper places a kiss in your hair. “I’ll tell you a secret.” You peer up at her waiting to hear what she has to say. “I think you love him too.”

“That’s not much of a secret.”

“But that’s why you feel so angry every time he goes back on his word. Because you love him and you want him to be here when he’s not. He’s trying. It may not feel like it, but he is. He’ll figure out the way he’s supposed to do things eventually. He just might need a shove in the right direction first.”

Becoming A Stark Tag list: @persephonehemingway  @iamaunicorn4704  @furiouspockettoad  @daughter-of-stark  @eternalharry  @huntective-kyeo @riiis-stuff @sunnyoongles @cosmicqueenieb @sovereignparker @bbarnestan

Permanent tag list: @wormonastringonastick

[sirro85-blog]

Humans are Weird: Mental Health

Trigger Warning, probably.

Kizidan watched as the humans danced, the music was like nothing she had heard before it was pleasant but she had not joined in, it appeared you needed to know the steps and most of the dances had names. She watched as Major Kovac spun Captain Becca in his arms, her feet lifting off the floor, the dance ended with the couple close to her, Kovac kissed Becca and held her face between his hands, "ahh lass, you're my joy" he said softly before leading her from the floor. Diminutive when compared to most human's Kizidan felt especially small around the Major and his Captain the Major stood close to 2m tall and while the Captain was a head shorter she was still taller than most of her gender and a sizeable number of the male soldiers.

Kovac stroked Becca's neck and bent to kiss her before walking away, Becca watched him for a few moments and then turned to Kizidan and smiled, "enjoying it?"

"Very much, I've never seen a celidh before...I've never seen Kovac smile so much either."

Becca grinned, a disturbing trait of humans, "Don't let Kovac hear you call it a ceilidh, he'll give you a lecture, " she put on an accent similar to Kovac' "it's no a ceilidh, naebdys singin' it's a dance." She turned to look at him as he collected drinks, then she drained her own, "whatever it is, he is happier, it's a hard time of year for him it's nice to see him smiling."

"Why is the time of year difficult? To my knowledge you do not hibernate, nor are you seasonal breeders." Kizidan extended her crest in confusion.

"No, not the season...it's an anniversary of sorts, I probably shouldn't say but as it's the worst kept secret on board: Kovac lost a wife and son when he was younger, it was a transport accident, he was deployed his first ever posting, she was at home with the 6 month old and...Very sad, now he's...well he's never been a cheerful person but now...well he's in a serious job so I can't tell if he's permanently low level depressed or if he's just a proper grim bastard."

"Depressed...he's In a lower position? He's the highest ranking officer amongst your human unit, I don't understand."

"Oh god, look it's a mental health condition, or a mental ill-health condition, I'm not sober enough to explain ask me tomorrow Kids," Becca looked over to see Kovac approaching, "I'll get him to dance with you, he'll teach you the steps."

The following morning Kizidan found Becca exiting the gym, she was with Frank one of the older medics who gave Kizidan a nod and left for the medical wing.

"Morning Kids, how are you doing?"

"I'm well Captain, thank you for asking, I was hoping you could explain more of what you said last night, I did some reading on the subject of 'mental ill-health in humans' it seems a chemical imbalance in the brain can cause a variety of problems in humans, all of which would be terminal in Forell such as myself."

"I'll be honest Kids you've already explained about as much as I know," Becca replied, "I'm not sure I can be much help."

"No, I've spoken with the SMO and I have an understanding of the medical issues, I wanted you to build on idea of Kovac's health being caused by a single event. In what i read it is often a longer term cause."

"Fuck Kids, you're asking big questions here, look Kovac was an orphan and grew up inn the kind of poverty someone like me can't imagine, maybe he was always unhappy and that event tipped him over the edge, I don't know, I met him at the military academy and he was a grim bastard there but he was fucking sunshine compared to now," she sighed, "I don't really get it, if you want to learn more go for it but, in my experience the books don't match up with my own experiences."

"You are familiar with mental-ill-health?" Kizidan asked.

Becca shifted her feet, "i need some protein, let's get to scoff."

10 minutes later Becca was chewing some dried meat and Kizidan started her questioning again, "you implied you had first hand knowledge of mental ill health."

"Well, yeah, I mean the reason I'm a rank below the Major is I spent a year in bed wishing I was dead but too numb to do anything," Becca covered her face with her hands, "I met a guy, my perfect hero, we got pregnant, I nearly carried to term and in the final few weeks I had a problem the baby died and I had a still birth, I nearly died and when I was better my perfect hero was gone, left me to it." Her voice took on a monotone, detached quality, "I took it hard, it brought up a lot of rejection shit from my parents, 'why don't people want me, why do all men hurt me?' you're vulnerable to this stuff when your father is abusive and your mother blames you for it...Well we're down the rabbit hole now, I'd survived the stuff my father did to me, I'd put myself back together and made a life and that life had tried to kill me and I broke, I mean if I could have got out of bed I'd have ended it but even that was too much effort and besides I couldn't imagine putting others to the trouble of cleaning me away, I didn't think people would care but they'd have to dispose of the corpse and I wasn't worth that, eventually I felt a bit better and as days went past I managed to move and then exercise...now, it's still hurts but I'm 5 years healthy and provided I can maintain a healthy diet and exercise I seem to manage good mental health." Becca peeled a banana and broke it into pieces, she carefully spread almond butter onto thin slices of apple and sandwiched the banana between two apple slices, she popped this into her mouth, then started again on another.

"One shrink I saw told me I had ptsd another severe fugue state...something, but the first one diagnoses everyone with ptsd and the other guy is convinced that Kovac has anxiety and I've never seen the Major so much as look concerned let alone get anxious, guy's chill is legendary, personally I think I had severe depression, but I guess I was catatonic so who knows"

"PTSD?"

"Post Stress disorder, no, traumatic stress post, bloody hell, Post traumatic stress disorder, basically an event happens and you have issues resolving how you feel about it and that means it's hard to recall it without reliving it."

"It's a memory issue?"

"No, not really it's like you don't just remember it, you relive it, with all the terror and fear and the horror of the experience. I know Pants suffered with it, she saw some of her old unit go down in an ambush, she woke up screaming a few times when she first got to us, I know Wolf helped her a lot, I'm not sure how."

"It sounds as though your mental stability is a fragile thing." Kizidan observed.

"Well people are different, some poor bastards are born with problems, some develop issues for one reason or the other, trauma physical or otherwise can cause problems, they don't always cause these problems...Kovac has taken 6 rifle rounds to the chest, his body armour caught most but some got through, he lost a rib as a result, he's died on the table after a haemothorax, that was when he was shot another time. Yet he's still a combat soldier, he's remarkably sanguine about his injuries, we can all break we don't all break the same way or for the same reasons and we don't all mend the same way."

Kizidan gave a trill of disbelief, "You humans have this reputation of invincibility and invulnerability in the galaxy, yet you make yourselves sound so fragile."

"We are fragile, that's the problem we can break, horribly so but we are also durable so we survive the breaking and then, well then we have to learn how to survive with all our damage. That's our real strength, our ability to endure, to just keep going."

[bethhxrmon]

All I Ask of You Pt. 10

“To going against the grain, going insane, going mad.” - “La Vie Bohme” from RENT

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female OC

Word Count: 4,534

Warnings: Underage drinking

Summary: It’s the holidays and everyone’s happy right now!

A/N: It may be late, but it’s still Saturday so that’s what counts! I was super excited to make this chapter and I hope you all love it as much as I do!

MASTERLIST

Playlist

           Christmas Eve felt almost like a desperate attempt for Annie’s parents to make up for the last couple months. Though, it obviously wasn’t enough and Annie couldn’t help pointing that out every chance she got. Whether she was being too harsh or not, she really couldn’t be bothered to give a damn. However, she would have been lying if she said she didn’t enjoy constantly pointing out their mistakes and affairs whenever she wanted to get away with something.

           Of course it pissed her parents off, but it probably pissed them off more that Annie wasn’t wrong. It was using their failing marriage as a scapegoat that led to Annie being outside in the winter evening with a small wrapped package. The odds of running into Spider-Man were pretty slim, it was a holiday after all. Despite it only being six at night, the sky was dark with only streetlights, cars, and electronic billboards there to light the way.

           The temperature drop that winter brought always left Annie cursing her choice to be a superhero instead of a street magician. She had even put a few shirts underneath the white hoodie she had on and she was still shivering. Stealing some electricity to attempt to warm up was her best bet, but even that wasn’t exactly working.

           With the streets bustling with the absolute last-second holiday shopping, it was difficult to find any real crime going on as she lurked in an alley. That was when she heard a jump. Without giving it a second thought, Annie swerved around and launched the ball of electricity that was in her hand at none other than Spider-Man himself.

           He quickly sidestepped the electricity and held his hands up, “Hey, it’s okay, it’s just me.”

           Annie sighed a little, “You can’t just sneak up on me like that! If I hit you then that’s who knows how many volts straight to your chest.”

           “Oh, it’s cool. Mr. Stark made my suit electricity-proof. Sorry I scared you, Swan. Merry Christmas, by the way. What’s that you’ve got in your hands there?” he asked, talking as though Annie hadn’t told him to leave her alone a week ago.

           Annie glanced down and the package, “Um… it’s not much, but it’s for you, actually. Kind of a ‘Merry Christmas, sorry I yelled at you and I actually do kinda enjoy working with you’ present.”

           “Well that’s great! I got something for you too! It’s not much either, but uh… it’s something I thought you’d like,” he replied, handing her something that was in a paper bag.

           Annie handed him the wrapped parcel and took the thing he gave her, “You seriously didn’t have to,” she said, pulling out a long sleeved shirt.

           “I should probably mention it’s got a little heater in it. I know you said to not follow you, but I saw you kept getting super cold and I uh- well I sort of stole it from Mr. Stark,” Spider-Man said sheepishly as he unwrapped his present to find a Santa hat.

           Annie smiled a bit, “Thanks, that’s way awesome. I wasn’t really sure what to get you that you didn’t already have, and I know it’s super cheesy and I totally get it if you don-”

           “It’s great, Swan, really, I love it, thanks,” he replied, hugging her.

           She laughed a bit, “No problem, I’m just sorry I’ve been such a bitch, and I should probably apologize in advance for when the exact same thing happens again for whatever reason I decide to get mad again.”

           “Hey, I get it. You’ve been alone awhile and you’re not used to having yours truly making things a bit easier on you,” he claimed.

           She rolled her eyes and sighed, “Actually I get more nervous when you insert yourself and expect me to cover you. I mean, come on, my powers could crap out on me.”

           “I don’t think that would happen, obviously your powers work better when your more emotional, so they work better when your stressed,” he said, shrugging.

           Annie frowned, “You’re not wrong… but still, it’s so damn stressful.”

           Feeling a huge sense of accomplishment at fixing things with Spider-Man, Annie was able to get back to her apartment with a weight lifted from her chest. With gifts already bought for everyone, there wasn’t exactly anything worth worrying about. Instead of going out to hang out with her parents, Annie spent the remainder of her night reading.

           By the time morning rolled around, Annie was in the same clothes that she had been when she was reading. She couldn’t remember putting down her book or being on her bed in the first place. Still the computer monitor across from her confirmed that it was Christmas morning, and she crawled out of bed, heading out to the kitchen where a small Christmas tree was set up.

           Underneath the fake, silver tree were a handful of presents. Two of them were for her parents and there were a few for Annie. She could tell that they were probably trying to compensate for the affairs, but she couldn’t have cared less. A part of her just liked having a scapegoat. Besides, it was more of a “being bitter about how her dad tried to explain her being a failed science fair project” thing rather than being angry about her parents cheating on each other.

           The whole infidelity thing was their thing to solve and Annie wanted no part in it. She padded over to the coffee maker and put some water and more grounds in it before starting the machine. As it heated up, Annie checked her phone, tempted to call Harper and wake them up extremely early simply to be a pain in the ass. After a few minutes, she was just about to pick up her phone to dial her friend when she saw Harper’s contact name on the screen.

           Annie answered, trying to not laugh and wake up her parents, “What the hell are you doing awake at like… four in the morning?”

           “Because I know you and that you’d probably wake me up anyways,” Harper replied, a smirk audible in their voice.

           Annie rolled her eyes, finding a mug to pour her coffee into, “Okay, but that doesn’t explain why you’d wake up so early.”

           “Bold of you to assume I ever even went to sleep. I had gifts to wrap,” they said, sighing a bit.

           Annie chuckled lightly as she poured some coffee in her mug, “Who are you spending all this time wrapping presents for?”

           “My parents. If I wrapped all their presents for their godforsaken business partners then they said they would give me ten grand to do whatever I wanted with,” they responded.

           Annie frowned a bit, “What do you need ten thousand for, exactly?”

           “I’m splitting it up between charities and college. Did I mention that I heard back from NYU?” they asked.

           Annie raised an eyebrow, retreating to her room and sitting at her desk, “Nope, I didn’t even know you were graduating early.”

           “Oh, well, surprise, I am! And I heard back from NYU and their fashion program, so I’m just about set up to start there in September,” they said, yawning.

           Annie’s jaw dropped, “Wait, so you’re, like, going to NYU, like, Manhattan?”

           “Yeah, is there another one that I didn’t hear about?” Harper retorted.

           Annie grinned, “That’s fucking awesome! You’ll be here with me and you can finally meet my new friends, it’ll be great!”

           “What’ll really be great is when I can get out of this hellhole,” they muttered, huffing a bit.

           Annie rolled her eyes, “Harper, you’re the kid of a CEO, people would kill to be in the position you’re in.”

           “But what good is any of it if they’re not gonna pay for any of my school? They’re basically kicking me out after graduation, which might be for the better. I could just be talking too much,” they replied.

           Annie took a sip of coffee, “Yeah, that might be it, you should get some sleep. You got my present in the mail, right?”

           “Yep… I may or may not have opened it already,” Harper admitted.

           Annie sighed, “Well, by the sound of that I’m guessing you liked it.”

           “Obviously! New colored pencils like I’d been talking about… oh and I ate half of the almond butter you got me last night, whoops,” they said.

           Annie shook her head, “Of course you did. Well, I’m glad you liked it.”

           “Speaking of liking presents, I hope you liked what your friends got you. Especially that one Peter guy, he sounds really into you,” Harper started.

           Annie felt her face go red, “I doubt it. He’s just a really nice guy. Besides, things are really complicated at the moment… the last thing I need is a relationship.”

           “What’s so complicated about dating the guy you’ve been wanting to kiss?” Harper asked.

           Annie stared at her coffee, only her breathing audible over the line, “Because there might be more than one guy I wanna kiss?”

           “You know I hate it when you answer something like it’s a question. For fuck’s sake, please tell me you’re not into both of your guy friends? Or is it that one girl, Tina? You’ve been around her a lot, or Michelle?” Harper started to trail off.

           Annie coughed, “No, none of them. Ned’s just my friend and Tina’s got her own shit. I don’t know if I know Michelle enough to be crushing on her.”          

           “Then who?”

           “It’s stupid, really.”

           “Not if it’s making you question everything you’ve been feeling for weeks.”

           “I think I like Spider-Man. It’s just… he’s so damn infuriating, but I never wanna fight with him so we always get through our arguments and he’s just really sweet and funny and… I don’t know what to do, Harper.”

           “Funny, you like them both for the same reasons… maybe you should wait it out,” Harper suggested, “But I gotta sleep otherwise I’m gonna blow up my parent’s place and then we’ll have a bigger problem than your boy troubles.”

           “Alrighty, well I’ll talk to you later, then. Have fun sleeping,” Annie replied before the line went dead.

           When Annie’s parents finally woke up, she made her way back into the kitchen. Though it was just her dad pouring himself a cup of coffee. Seeing him, Annie was just about to slip back into her room, but he already saw her so instead she sat at the dining room table. She was halfway through her cup of coffee and it was still warm.

           “How’d you sleep?” he asked.

           Annie shrugged, “Alright, I guess.”

           “You must’ve been pretty tired, I walked in and you had your book on your face,” her dad replied, chuckling a bit at her.

           Annie looked up at him, “So you moved me?”

           “Well, yeah. I’m your dad, Annika, and sometimes I screw up, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you,” he told her as he sat across from her.

           She nodded, looking at her cup, “Right… are you being nice because you’re about to talk about getting a divorce?”

           “No. God, no, Ann, we moved so we could fix things. We wouldn’t drag you out here to just give up now,” he said.

           She sighed, “Okay, good. Otherwise I think I’d run out of here if you pulled that today.”

           “I wouldn’t do that, we wouldn’t,” he assured her.

           “We wouldn’t do what?” her mom asked as she padded into the dining room.

           Her dad paused, drinking some coffee, “Get a divorce and tell her today.”

           “Oh, sweetie, no. We’d stay married until you were an adult just so it wouldn’t feel like we moved for nothing,” added her mom.

           Annie nodded again, not saying anything for a moment, “So… um… should we get to the fun gift giving thing? I kinda said I’d meet my friends to exchange gifts and stuff.”

           “Yeah! Of course, of course! You’re gonna love what I got you,” her mom said, pulling a bagged present from next to the tree.

           The gifts weren’t as much of pleas for forgiveness as Annie had expected. That was for the best, though, otherwise she may have felt a pang of guilt for using them so she could get out more often. She noticed that they did seem to get them with her interests in mind, though. Some soundtracks and books. Even a hoodie or two, her parents liked what she got for them. It was always hard with adults because the things they wanted were things that she would never get enough money to buy. Hell, some of the things they wanted had nothing to do with money. Not that she could blame them.

           “Also, there’s one thing that we also got that we can’t really give you,” her dad began.

           Annie’s russet eyes squinted, “What do you mean?”

           “Well, tomorrow we’re leaving for a couple’s retreat to try and fix things. We thought the least we could do is make a real effort at trying,” her mom explained.

           Annie nodded, smiling a bit, “When do you get back?”

           “January second, we’ll be back early because classes start up the day after,” said her dad.

           She smiled at the both of them, “Th-that’s great, actually, thanks you guys.”

           “We thought you’d appreciate it because of how much these problems were meaning to you,” her dad replied.

           The day passed by easier and for the first time in weeks, Annie felt comfortable as she moved around the apartment. Knowing that her parents didn’t just stop caring did leave her feeling lighter. Not to mention the ideas that were flooding her mind as she fully realized that they would be gone through new year’s. Though, those were plans to talk about when she saw her friends next.

           Before she knew it, it was time to get to Peter’s apartment where she was supposed to meet up with Peter, Ned, and even Tina. Apparently they had talked to her before they asked Annie to come. It raised plenty of questions that Annie wasn’t even sure of how to ask. Still, she left her apartment with some ginger snaps that her dad had made as well as the gifts for each of them.

           She made it to the other apartment without any issue and she knocked on the door. It had been so cold outside and Annie was left wishing that she had chosen to wear a better jacket rather than a sweatshirt. Not to mention how the presents had been kind of difficult to carry while walking a few blocks in New York traffic. Despite the holidays, the streets were as busy as ever. Though, maybe she shouldn’t have been so surprised.

           Aunt May opened the door, smiling, “There you are! The others have been waiting. Merry Christmas by the way! How’s your day been?”

           “Merry Christmas! I’ve actually been pretty great. My dad baked a ton of ginger snaps and I thought you might like some,” Annie greeted, nodding at the top box which was a tin.

           May took the tin off the top of the pile, “Thank you, this is lovely!”

           “No problem!” she replied, waltzing right into Peter’s room.

           “Hey, look who decided to show up,” Tina commented, getting up to help Annie with the boxes.

           Annie rolled her eyes, “Whatever, you guys told me to show up now, so there’s obviously something you’re all hiding.”

           “You don’t know that!” Ned protested.

           Annie smirked as she sat down on Peter’s bed, “Right, well I got all of you presents, so I expect only the best from each of you.”

           “Annie! I told you not to get me anything,” Tina responded, crossing her arms.

           Annie shrugged, “Well then I guess my hand slipped and wrapped something up for you.”

           “You’re gonna love what I got you, go on, open it,” Ned insisted, handing her a box.

           Annie opened it only to get a litter box and cat litter, “Um… okay, it’s great…”

           “I told you it was a weak idea, I got you this,” Tina said, handing Annie a bag.

           Annie got a food bowl with some cat food and she raised an eyebrow, “Did you guys… no. There’s no way.”

           “Okay, you’ll love this,” Peter insisted, starting to burst out laughing as he handed his haphazardly wrapped gift.

           Annie ripped the paper only to get cat toys, “Okay, there’s no way you guys got me a cat. No, I couldn’t, really, you guys.”

           “Who said anything about a cat? We didn’t get you a cat,” Ned replied, only to be stopped by a meow that came from Peter’s closed closet.

           Annie looked at the three of them and stood up, walking over to the closet and opened it. There was a cat carrier and in the carrier was a cat with patches all over its face and a crooked tail from where it had probably been broken in the past. She picked up the carrier and opened it, coaxing out the cat. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was opened and grinning. No words were able to leave her mouth.

           Tina smirked a bit, “I’m guessing we did good.”

           “What’s his name?” Annie asked.

           “Well, the shelter named him Patches,” Ned said.

           Annie scoffed, “That’s a dumb name… I think I’m gonna name him… Erik, yeah, definitely Erik.”

           “Like The Phantom of the Opera? Come on,” Ned commented, laughing a bit.

           Annie sighed, scratching the cat behind the ear, “I really can’t thank you guys enough, now I feel like I totally fucked up with what I got you guys.”

           “Nah, there’s no way, let’s see them,” Ned insisted.

           Annie handed each of them their presents, trying to gauge their reactions. Of course, none of them were exactly a pet that had been carefully hidden from her for the time that she had been there. At least they each kinda meant something though. Well, she hoped that they would.

           Peter smiled, tugging the Santa hat on his head down a bit as he looked at the planner and pen, “It’s great, thanks,” he said as he opened it, reading the inside of the planner.

           Because she hadn’t wanted to confuse Peter with the gift she wrote something. Though, it was possibly influenced by other feelings that were running through her head at the time. The note read: Peter, I know that half the time you’re a disorganized mess (in the best way, duh) and figured this might help in case you get super stressed. Even if it doesn’t, you can always call me or something. I don’t really know where I was going with this, but Merry Christmas!

           Ned laughed a bit, beaming at the lego store gift card, “This is perfect! I could get a Millenium Falcon set with this, thanks so much!”

           Tina carefully unwrapped her present, “I really didn’t need anything…” she looked at the journals and pens, “How’d you know?”

           “I saw you in that stationery store… my hand slipped and bought a few things,” Annie claimed, shrugging.

           The group spent so much time talking in that circle, somehow all huddled up on Peter’s bed. They squished between each other, and that was when Annie asked them to come to her place for new year’s. She’d even told them to spend the night if they wanted. It had been Ned’s idea to call and ask Michelle to join them. By the time they all left for their homes, Annie had plans for while her parents were gone.

           When she got home carrying her cat and all the things to take care of him as well, her dad didn’t even try to protest it. All he said was that she had to take care of him and that he wouldn’t do it for her. Erik was a really sweet cat, wanting nothing more than to lay on her bed and be petted. At least, that was how he was acting right then. A part of her figured he’d start running all over the apartment like crazy in a day or two.

           As she opened one of the plastic packages of toys, Annie noticed a small box. When she opened it, there was a necklace of a masquerade mask necklace. Her jaw dropped, hardly able to believe that Peter had gotten her anything aside the stuff for the cat. She really didn’t need or want anything else. Though there was also a folded up note that read: Annie, I know you said you just wanted a cat, but I thought you should have something else to. So I thought I’d let you know that you’re more of a Christine because you’re too good to be anything else.

           That not was the only thing that she could think about until new year’s eve. It wandered into her mind when she worked with Spider-Man a couple of times that week. He was constantly wearing that Santa hat and Annie wore that shirt with a heater in it under her sweatshirt all the time. Though, just when she started bantering a little bit too long with Spider-Man, she couldn’t help but think about how much Peter had cared. It made her wonder if Spider-Man would do the same for her if he had the chance.

           One right after the other, Peter, Ned, Michelle, and Tina came on in. It wasn’t like Annie had a huge party planned out, she just didn’t want to be alone for the holiday. Not when she could have the chance to stay up late with her friends. Even though Christmas had passed, Peter was still wearing a Santa hat like he had on Christmas.

           “Pete, isn’t it a bit late for Santa hats?” Annie asked, toying around with the pendant on her necklace.

           Peter’s face reddened, “N-no, I wouldn’t say so.”

           “I think she’s got a point, unless you’re wearing it for a specific reason,” Michelle said, looking up from her book as she laid on the couch.

           Annie chuckled a bit as Peter seemed at a loss for words as she poured some hot chocolate for all of them, “Don’t worry, it’s cute.”

           “Enough flirting, you two, otherwise you’re both gonna need to find a room,” Ned commented, flipping through the channels on Annie’s television.

           Peter frowned, “I-I wasn’t… we weren’t doing… a-anything.”

           “So you weren’t flirting?” Annie asked, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

           He shook his head, “N-nope.”

           “Oh, okay,” Annie said, handing him a cup of hot chocolate.

           The night went on as a group sleepover should. The group watched some dumb comedies while eating food and drinking warm drinks. It felt like things were just fine, and even Tina appeared to be relaxed around all of them. Both her and Michelle seemed to enjoy being left on their own to read or write while Ned, Peter, and Annie were left to do most of the talking.

           As midnight drew closer, Annie looked at the others, “Hey, what do you guys think of some champagne to ring in the new year?”

           “I can’t have any… I’ve been going straight, but I can watch you guys to make sure no one does anything dumb,” Tina offered.

           “Alright, what about the rest of you guys?” Annie asked as she got up from her comfy chair.

           Ned and Peter shrugged, “I guess it’s cool with us,” Ned replied.

           “You could hit me up with two if you wanted,” Michelle responded.

           Annie laughed a bit, “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

           In a few minutes, Annie was back with a glass that was generously full for everyone. She’d filled the glass for Tina with some sparkling cider because everyone deserved a nice new year’s drink. It was five minutes until 2018 and Annie had a decent feeling about the new year. They all talked about what they really wanted to do for that year and all the things that they hoped would happen.

           “I just wanna get an apartment and start over, you know? Just have everything be fresh and to move on finally,” Tina said, cheating and sipping some of her drink before midnight.

           Michelle nodded, “Fair enough, I want some more books and more time to read them, honestly.”

           “If I managed to pass this next semester I’d be happy, but really I just want to prove I can do stuff, like, theatre or something else, just I don’t want to be doubted,” Annie admitted.

           Ned sighed a bit, “I wanna hack some stuff, nothing huge, but just enough to where it’s super cool.”

           “Yeah… I-I think I want my internship to go further, I’m doing a lot already, but I wanna do more,” Peter said, looking at the clock.

           Ned grinned, starting to count down, “Five. Four. Three. Two. One…”

           “Holy shit it’s the new year!” Annie exclaimed, drinking her champagne.

           They all started drinking, Peter seeming to be almost unaffected by it. Michelle went back to her book, drinking and not paying too much attention to the others. Ned and Annie, however, were tipsy halfway through their glasses. Everything seemed to be so funny and Annie wasn’t sure why. And Peter looked so damn cute and she wanted to pull him close and kiss him. She wish she’d done that already, why hadn’t she?

           By the time she finished her glass, she wasn’t exactly herself when she talked to her friends, “Y’know, ‘m real glad y’guys came… I woulda been so depressed if I’re by m’self.”

           “Yeah, me too, ‘m happy I came,” Ned replied and the pair started laughing, “Y’know, ya should talk to Peter, he wants to tell ya somethin’.”

           Annie giggled, pulling Peter closer a bit by his sleeve, “C’mon, tell me in my room.”

           She dragged him right to her room and she sat on her bed, patting the space next to her. When he sat down she had her arms around him and buried her head into the crook of his neck. Annie hummed happily, starting to play with Peter’s hair.

           “What did ya wanna tell me?” Annie asked, looking up at him.

           Peter shook his head, “You’re drunk, it’s a terrible time to tell you.”

           “Oh c’mon!” Annie whined, pouting.

           Peter sighed, “Nope. But did you wanna tell me something?”

           “Well, yeah, you’re real cute, just all the time. An’ I can’t understand why you won’t like me back, but everyone says you do,” Annie replied.

           Peter smiled a bit, his cheeks flushing, “Really?”

           “Yeah,” she said, looking at him and yawning, “I should sleep though, I feel like you’re trickin’ me into sayin’ too much.”

           Peter nodded, pulling back the covers and helping her lie down, “Can ya stay with me?” Annie asked.

           Peter thought about it a moment and nodded, “Sure, yeah.”

           Annie pulled him close, wanting to feel him so close to her and Peter didn’t mind. Though he also wondered how much of it was real and how much of it was just her being drunk. At the same time, he didn’t want her thinking he was a creep, so when she fell asleep he left the bed and slept on the floor.

Tag list: @flushings-here / @upsidedownparker / @gaypanda / @ijustdontknowsometimes / @lionsfandomsandbearsohmy / @thwipparker / @buzzinglee (just ask to be added to the tag list)

[toomanysurveys9]

Have you ever eaten dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets? yeah. i always loved all food things that were shaped differently, but my mom pretty much never bought it. i bet wy would love that sort of stuff, or he will soon. and i’ll probably buy it for him a lot. lol.

Is your crush nice to you? or do you not have one right now? it’s more than a crush. we’re married. and he has his moments when he is nice to me, although it’s kind of rare he interacts with me in any way anymore unless he wants sex or something.

Do you have a myspace? it still exists but i don’t use it.

If not then what about a facebook? i do have facebook that i do use.

Mcdonalds, do you like it or does it disgust you? it’s not my favorite, but i do eat there on occasion when we take wyatt there to play with other kids.

Are you one of those girls who thinks their fat even though your skinny? no. i think i’m fat because i am fat. i hate my body.

Do you like the state you live in? it’s alright. it’s not the worst place to live. i’m bored and ready to leave anytime though.

What about the city? see above answer - it also applies.

Have you ever been to Oregon? i have not.

Does chocolate pudding sound good right now? no. i only like butterscotch or vanilla pudding.

Are you upset with anyone at this time? not at the moment.

Are you a 90’s baby? yeah.

What’s your favorite decade? probably the 90′s.

Isn’t “Tom Sawyer by Rush” a good song? or never heard of it before? i’ve never heard it.

Are you even a fan of classic rock? some.

Have you ever made a Youtube video? i think i made one, once. it was stupid with cards and a song in the background. i was young and dumb. lol.

If you could have any super power what would it be? i think it’d be cool to be able to teleport.

You get 3 wishes, what are they? i would wish for my family to always have everything they need and to be healthy (health problems cured), and happy.

Whats your favorite flavor kool-aid? i would drink any as long as it wasn’t grape or orange. the blue ones were my favorite i think. it’s been a very long time since i drank kool-aid. lol.

Have you ever liked a guy named Chris? lol. he was my first crush.

Well what about Josh? nope.

If you were asked to model for abercrombie would you? lol. that’s funny.

If not why? you’re forgetting i’m disgusting looking. so i would never get asked to begin with. and modeling was never something i was ever seriously interested in.

Did you ever own a Tamagotchi? i did and loved it.

When you were a little kid did you play with barbies or toy cars more? barbies. i played with barbies FOREVER.

Do you say OMG or Oh my god? oh my god. or oh my chuck.

Aren’t blue eyes just the prettiest? i mean, sure. but i tend to love brown eyes a lot. or hazel like wyatt’s. i’m curious what eliana’s eyes will be. if they are blue, they will be my favorite shade of blue.

Do you get embarrassed when you get in trouble? or do you not care? it depends. i guess i usually would get embarrassed because i was usually pretty good.

You are given one free plane ticket, where do you choose to go? italy.

Do you love to buy things? even when you don’t need them? only if it’s things for my kids. or books.

Are you a total bitch to people without meaning to be? i don’t think so.

Play any instruments? not well enough to say yes.

If so which ones? i know the very basics of piano.

Are you more of a dog or cat person? probably dogs although i love cats too.

Is school more of a hang out or place to learn for you? it was always more of a place to learn.

Are you one of those people who takes pictures during class? no. i didn’t do that.

Is there anyone you want to just PUSH OFF the earth forever? i mean. i guess not. although i would seriously think about it with christian and jason.

Do you prefer talking in person or over text? most of the time, over text because i can think about my responses without it being awkward.

Seventeen magazine or cosmo girl? or neither? i used to read seventeen when i was younger ALL THE TIME.

Isn’t it stupid when surveys ask for your name? not really. just kind of boring.

Whats your favorite kind of hersheys bar? milk chocolate with almonds sounds good.

Do you watch Family Guy? usually i am in bed with the kids by that time.

Current mood: alright. bored. little lonely.

Have a favorite number? not really.

Do you know what the word Savvy means? yeah.

Would you rather read a long ass book or write a 10 page essay? read a long ass book. i enjoy reading. although i’m not bad at writing either, so it wouldn’t be hard for me to write a ten page essay.

Have you ever thought “I want to be with this person forever”? yeah.

Do you like the school you go to? i’m not in school anymore.

Whats it called? see answer above.

Have you watched and read The Outsiders? i have not.

Isnt Sodapop Curtis VERY HOTT? i don’t know who that even is.

Or do you prefer Ponyboy Curtis? what?

Do you have any posters with hott guys in them up on your walls? no. i haven’t had a poster on my wall since i was into twilight.

Do you like mexican food? yeah.

You know that TacoBell isnt really mexican food right? yeah i know that. but i’ll still eat it.

Have you ever failed math? i’ve failed math assignments, but never the overall class.

Skittles! Whats your favorite color? hm. green.

Have your parents met your boyfriend? (if you have one)

i have a husband, and they have met him, obviously.

Have you ever had a boyfriend or no? obviously. i’m married. he started out as my boyfriend.

Does your bestfriend have any embarrassing nicknames for you? no. my mom calls me marley harley sometimes though. i’m not sure why.

Are you excited about Thanksgiving? we have quite awhile before thanksgiving now since we just had it not too long ago. and i’m fine waiting since we just celebrated it.

Is sweating gross? i mean, it’s normal. but i don’t like doing it, and i’m very glad they invented deodorant. everyone definitely needs to use it.

Do you like PE class? i pretty much always hated it.

Taken or crushing or none? extremely taken.

Is writing fun for you? i would like to do it more.

What about reading? i love to read.

How do you spell it yeah or yea? yeah.

Do you talk crap about some of your friends? no. i do not. if you talk crap about your so-called friends, i would say you’re not really friends.

Is there a guy that your REALLY MEAN to? no.

Are you racist? no.

If you could dye your hair right now would you? i could if i wanted to, but i don’t want to.

Do you like photocomments? i don’t care about photo comments.

Do you hate it when people play dumb? definitely.

Home made or store bought cookies? homemade if i can! but store bought can be good too.

[sugasquish]

Midnight Drives!

Word Count: 6.5k Genre: Angst, Smut, Dom! Pairing: jungkook x Reader

summary: pent up sexual frustration and alcohol never went well together, not until now anyway.

In all honesty, you had no idea why you were going to this party. You knew your friends were just going to get fucked up and leave you for some guy, not caring about you but expecting the world from you. Making sure the guys not a sleaze, looking after their shit, watching their drinks. Things you know damn well they wouldn't do for you, but you knew you would always give in, after all they were your friends and you didn't want anything happening to them, especially not when you could help it.

Sure you were quite popular but you never felt close to anyone, excluding Jungkook. You knew he was going to be at the party, you both wanted to go together but you knew all too well people would automatically assume you were a thing. Plus you couldn't take the onslaught of girls who would come after your ass just because they saw you two together.

Your head hadn’t been in the right state of mind. Why did you even come to this party? Your feelings had become all unpredictable, you assumed it was just your dry spell since you hadn't fucked in what seemed like forever, maybe you just needed to fuck someone to clear your head, or would it just make you attached? You hadn't had feelings for anyone in what had seemed like forever. Which was odd considering you were always an affectionate person who seemed to fall for the wrong people.

You decided to go on a hunt for Jungkook, at least he would keep you company since your friends were already starting to slur their words and they'd only been there for about 20 minutes. Just as you were about to go look for jungkook you were greeted by him, and a new, unknown Face.

“Hey y/n” he smiled at you so cutely, he wasn't drunk that’s for sure. He was the only one of his friends that had a car, he must’ve been the sober driver.

“Kook!” you basically squealed but you didn't care and you could notice the ever growing grin on his face, completely forgetting about the girl standing beside him, a bit too close for your liking.

You two made eye contact, she had pitch black hair, pale skin and a beautiful smile. Her hair was long and straight, graced with delicate features and soft pink lips, not to mention her radiant almond eyes. Her frame was small, she had a childlike cuteness. Your heart sunk. You glanced back up at Jungkook, only to see he was staring at you. Almost as if he wanted some sort of reaction out of you. What little game was he playing at? Was he trying to upset you? Confuse you? You extended your arm toward the girl, watching as Jungkook's’ eyes followed your hand to meet the girls.

“My names Y/N nice to meet you!” you smiled a bittersweet smile but tried to play it off as if the entire situation didn't hurt you.

“I've heard so much about you! My names Willow it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Of course, such a pretty girl would have such a pretty name. She had an intoxicating smile, your head started to spin, all that was running through your head was the thought that she could be Jungkook’s girlfriend.

You pondered at the thought of Jungkook talking about you, did he even really talk about you at all or was she just being nice? If he did talk about you what did he say? Why would he talk about you in the first place, sure you two were best friends and had known each other forever, but why would he talk about you to this girl?

Your eyes wandered back over to Jungkook's’, he was still staring at you, a little weirdly this time. His head was tilted to the side and you noticed him staring at your lips, after all you had been chewing at them nervously all night, they must've been swollen and red by now.

“Willows a good friend of mine, y/n. She's been helping me study for exams and she's been such a big help, she's a lifesaver.” He exclaimed, still, his eyes never leaving yours. The thought of those two together, studying alone made your stomach twist. What was happening to you, were you getting jealous? How come he didn't just come to you and ask for help, he knew all too well that you got good grades in school, yet he didn’t ask you for help?

You tilted your head to the side and glared at him, looking for clues. Your eyes locking with his for far too long, you could feel Willows glare burning away at you, but you didn’t care.

“Haha y/n good to see you here, I thought you’d never come to one of my parties.” Saved by the bell, it was Taehyung. You had become close friends with him since you and Jungkook hadn’t hung out in a while. He was always busy, what were you supposed to do? Wait for him. Instead you became close to Taehyung. He treated you exactly like how Jungkook did but it was different with him, he was a very open person when it came to sex, admitting that he wanted to fuck but would never go there, the reason why, he never told you.

He walked closer, visibly a little tipsy and draped his arm around your shoulder, not even bothering to acknowledge Jungkook or Willows presence. You saw Jungkook’s facial expression switch instantaneously, removing his eyes from yours only to stare at Tae’s, they were friends but Jungkook was pissed, and it didn’t look like he was trying to hide it.

You watched as Jungkook wrapped his arm around Willows waist, pulling her in closer like she was some sort of trophy, Both you and Willow obviously taken back by the sudden skin ship. You could only stare as you watched Willow snuggle into Jungkook like he was her pillow.

You turned your head to the right, so you could face Taehyung and escape the burning pit in your stomach from watching those two get so close. He was staring directly at you, his eyes misty, you breathed in, hoping to feel relieved when all you could smell was the mixture of alcohol and cologne lingering off Taehyung, his eyes never leaving yours. He smiled that intense Taehyung smile and spoke softly.

“Are you enjoying the party y/n?” he whispered in a deep sensual tone

His voice almost made you forget Jungkook and Willow were standing right in front of you two, staring.

“Yeah, could be better though.” you giggled and watched as Taehyung smirked back at you

“Could I make it better for you? Would you want me to do that y/n?” this time his voice was full with lust, you gawked as you watched him lick his lips, swiping his tongue from left to right then biting his bottom lip and releasing it slowly, His lips looked so soft and plump.

You were so tempted to just go upstairs and fuck him, maybe all those weird feelings would go away, maybe they wouldn’t. You were only interrupted when you turned your head to face Jungkook, his eyes were burning through you, his jaw clenching. He was visibly mad. What the fuck was his problem? he had Willow, you knew she'd fuck Jungkook in a heartbeat, maybe they already had? Your thoughts stopped as you saw Jungkook’s gaze fly over to Taehyung, who was still staring at you, eating up every inch of your body with his eyes.

You could only stare as Jungkook abandoned his gaze on you and bestowed his eyes upon Willow, who was already staring up at him, eyes glistening. He placed his right hand on her chin, his thumb brushing against her bottom lip, you could feel your eyes starting to tear up, completely forgetting about everyone in the room except for Jungkook and Willow.

A tear dropped down your cheek as you watched Jungkook placed a small gentle kiss on her lips, then proceeding to lead a wet trail down to her neck. You stopped looking only to face Taehyung, who was still obviously wanting a reply back from you.

“Sorry Tae not tonight, you know i’d love to but something popped up.” You managed to blurt out to Tae, fighting away the tears.

“Thats a shame baby, you look so good. I’m here if you ever need, you know. Relief. I could make you feel so good.” He smirked then placed a small kiss on your cheek, his touch felt good but you knew you couldn’t do it, not now while you were having all these feelings. You smiled at Tae and glanced over at Jungkook, who was still eating Willows face, too busy to notice you leave.

You walked over to where your friends were before. All of them drunk, most of them making out with some random guys. You picked up your bag and you could feel the rush of tears streaming down your face as you walked outside. You checked your phone.

11:37am

It was dark and chilly outside, but you felt relieved. You looked up at the sky, The stars were glowing bright and it was a full moon, you shivered as you caught draft of the cool night breeze, you felt refreshed. You decided to walk to a friends house, it was twenty minutes away and you knew she would be home studying, she lived quite a distance away but you knew sh’ed be fine with.

11:49am

4 missed calls: Jungkook

The bright light of your phone lit up the night making the darkness disappear, you were almost at your friend’s house but you decided to stop and look at your old house, it looked unrecognizable. Painted a fresh white, picket fencing, a mowed lawn, all the things your old house wasn’t.

Just across from your old house was a park, how could you have forgotten about it, that park was your entire childhood, you walked over and explored, it was just how you remember it to be.

New Text:

Jungkook: Where the fuck are you? I've been looking everywhere, fuck y/n

y/n: I went for a walk, I needed to cool off okay?

Jungkook: You can’t just leave like that I thought something happened  to you y/n, you have to be more careful

y/n: I can take care of myself, I’m not a little girl

Jungkook: Where are you, ill come pick you up

y/n: I told you i’m fine, why don’t you go do what you really wanna do?

Jungkook: I’m not fucking around y/n where are you?

y/n: I can take care of myself for fucks sake kook

Jungkook: I told you y/n i’m not fucking around, where the fuck are you

y/n: im at the park we always  used to go to

Jungkook: I’ll be there in 10

Read: 11:56am

Only Jungkook, after the stunt he pulled, you weren’t expecting him to care at all. You would’ve at least thought, more or less hoped your other friends would have somehow noticed you had disappeared, but you could always count on them to disappoint you. Jungkook on the other hand, you two had been best buddies ever since you could walk, since then it’s always been the same. Now you were both eighteen, things had changed. You didn’t hang out as often, and when you did, it would include other people.

The atmosphere around you two was eery, you didn’t know what had happened, but as you grew up, your feelings were bound to change for one another.

Whenever you two did hang out nowadays, it was like there was an elephant in the room. You two were so close but seemed so distant, in all honesty, you didn’t know what to call your relationship. Friends? Best Friends? A Couple? The thought of you and Jungkook together made your stomach twist, whenever you thought about him like that, it did something to you. You two never officially fucked, hell you hadn’t even kissed but the feeling of being around him made you feel so at ease, you didn’t know what this feeling was. Were you in love with him? A crush? Or did you simply just want to fuck him? Because all three of those possibilities would fuck up your entire friendship, or at least you assumed it would.

You were sitting on the swing rocking back and forth, lost in your thoughts, when you remembered how much fun you and Jungkook used to have here as kids. Every chance you two got, you would hang out together, telling each other secrets, playing, all that kid stuff. But you remembered you two weren’t kids anymore, you were teenagers. The thought of everything changing, everyone changing just made your lungs want to burst. You decided to climb up the highest ladder you could find. You just felt like screaming and cursing the world for having everything in life turn to shit, but you didn’t scream. You just stood there, feeling the midnight breeze, looking at the moon. You gazed down. And there it was, the old slide you and Jungkook used to go down together, you sitting on his lap squealing as he just laughed.

You squat down, it was still as cheap as you remember it to be, a crusty shade of green, graffiti all over it, just like you remembered.You sat down at the top of the slide, eyes still glued to the moon, and off you went. You’d forgotten how fun it was just to let loose and relax. The twists and turns of the slide, running your hands along the barrier, it felt all too familiar, all too enjoyable, but it didn’t last long.

You burst out with laughter as you reached the bottom of the slide, all your problems disappeared, you felt so normal, not the normal chirpy you like how you are around your friends, but the real you. Maybe this was all you needed to revamp your emotions, maybe you just needed to forget about your problems and focus on the good things, the things that matter the most.  Like Jungkook.

Bright headlights beamed out from behind you,

12:02 am

You walked from the slide to the car park, hesitantly, but sure enough there he was.

Leaning against his car, texting furiously on his phone, not even noticing your presence until he finally sent the text. You heard a loud ding come from your pocket, It was from Jungkook.

Jungkook: Where the fuck are you y/n i’ve been worried sick, you can’t just leave parties like that, especially when basically every guy is on the prowl to fuck you! Did you even notice the way Taehyung was staring at you? I thought the worst had happened, and I can’t even see you at the park? Did you lie to me?

As you finished reading the text, you looked up, only to see Jungkook standing right in front of you, you didn’t even flinch. His hot breaths mixing with the cold midnight air, forming a  warm mist. You took a deep breathe in, only to get a whiff of his cologne. You looked at his face and saw how the moonlight reflected in his deep brown eyes, he really was beautiful, how could you not of noticed this side of him before?

You swallowed deep before letting out a slight giggle, only to let your head fall onto his chest, like all the pent up anger had vanished into thin air. He chuckled in response.

“Hey y/n.” He said in a cool toned voice

“Yeah?” you replied, heart thumping, breathing heavy.

“Do you wanna go for a ride?” He swallowed hard and you could hear his heart pounding.

“I’d love that, Kook.” You looked up and gave him a warm smile, only to have him chuckle in response.

“Well what are we waiting for?”

You both giggled as he lead you to his car, walking to your side and opening the door for you, you looked at him and chuckled.

“What, I can’t be a gentleman?” he smirked, as you watched his eyes light up.

You looked up at him as you got into the car and winked at him, you saw his cheeks turn into a bright cherry red , he took a deep breath and exhaled once again, his hot breath mixing with the cold air, soothing you. He looked down at you as he closed the door, smiling at you. Differently to how he usually did. This time it was seductive, you saw him in a different light, he wasn't little jungkook anymore, he wasn’t a child. You should have realized that a long time ago.

You saw the driver’s door open, he slid in smoothly and slammed the door, which startled you a bit. He glanced at you and smirked, noticing how visibly flustered you were. Your cheeks were red and so were your lips, mostly because you had been crying and nervously chewing on your bottom lip the entire night, making it swell and look more plump than usual.

“Where do you wanna go?” He inquired as his eyes locked with yours, not leaving them for a second. He noticed you staring at his soft pink lips, all you could think of was Willow, how she had tasted him, how good he must have tasted. You couldn’t be jealous, especially when he wasn’t yours to be jealous of.

“Are you and Willow a thing?” You blurted it out, not even thinking of how he would react.

“Are you and Taehyung a thing?” He furrowed his brows and turned into a completely different person “Have you two fucked?” He was serious, he had never used this tone with you before. You shuddered at the sudden assertiveness in his voice.

“No, Have you and Willow?” You replied, your voice a little shaky. He sighed in deep relief and threw his head back, giving you a perfect view of his neck. You wanted to kiss it, suck on it. Find his sweet spots and pleasure him, you would obviously never tell him that, but he did something to you, something inexplicable.

“Of course not.” He stated.

“To be honest with you y/n I haven’t fucked anyone in a while, I don’t know why but..” His voice trailed off into the distance, you could tell he didn't want to say anymore so you didn’t prod at him, instead you two sat there in silence for a while, looking at the park that you both remembered so fondly, every so often you would shiver, trying not to let Jungkook notice.

You faced him, he was already looking at you, this time not at your face. He was staring at your neck, letting his eyes trail down you. You forgot that you were wearing a tight fitting black dress, a thigh high split creeping up your leg, since you had been sitting down, the split ended a little higher than usual, revealing the side of your lacy thong, also remembering that this dress really showed off your cleavage. After all you had noticed most of the guys at the party were staring at you.

You could hear Jungkook gulp loudly, breaking the silence. “I know where we can go.” He reverted back to the calm Jungkook you knew. He started the engine and those familiar headlights beamed once again.

He pulled out of the carpark and put the car into Drive, As he began to drive you noticed he only drove with his right arm., He slowly placed his left arm down on your thigh. You shuddered at the sudden contact of skin, His hand was warm, hot even. Your thighs were cold but soon heated up because of the contact. He noticed you shiver at his touch.

“Sorry y/n, if you do-” you stopped him mid sentence.

“No I like this.” You almost choked on your words since you felt so flustered because of his touch, almost surprised that you had the courage to say that. He smiled at you and continued driving.

12:15am

You couldn’t help but notice the veins protruding on his hands and arms, your finger trickled on top of the outlines of his hand that was on your thigh. His grip tightened on your thigh, there was a burning sensation between your legs now, your stomach was churning just because of one simple squeeze.

You unintentionally let out a small moan, coming in the form of Jungkook’s name.

“Sorry y/n, habit” He spoke softly, whilst looking into your eyes, looking for signs of lust. You smiled at him, signalling that it was fine, that you liked it. The car became silent once again, it felt tense, you could feel it now, it was full of sexual tension. The both of you trying to figure out if the attraction was mutual or not, you thought you had made it very apparent that it was.

To break the silence you plugged your phone into the aux,

“Is it okay if I-”

“I thought you’d never ask, go ahead.” he passed a glance your way and winked at you, making you blush a little.

You looked through your music, of course. All your songs were centered around sex. You two were Best friends, what would a sex song do? it wasn't like you hadn’t listened to music about sex before. You took a deep breath and hit shuffle.

6lack- prblms

You wound down the window and felt that same midnight breeze caressing your face, leaning your head against the door frame. The moon still as bright as ever. You inhaled deeply, wishing to take in each and every thing. The smell of the sickly sweet salty air invading your nose, you lowered your view. There it was, the ocean. Sweet and misty. Of course. He was taking you to the beach.

“And she said You a Goddamn lie I ain't mean to say that shit girl I was God damn high So we left the crib now we in the God damn ride She lookin' God damn fine I wanted a bitch who was down to Earth But she want the Goddamn skies”

12:22am

You took in every word of the lyrics, you listened in the distance as the waves crashed against the shore, rough and unforgiving. You decided to glance at Jungkook, noticing his hand was still placed on your thigh. His thumb swirling around in circles, squeezing then stopping, only to repeat the entire process. You looked up at his face with intent, he looked enticing, his eyes focused on the road. You started having impure thoughts about Jungkook. The way his eyes shone made your heart flutter. His lips looked so pink and soft, they looked so inviting and warm.

“When I ain't did shit, but be the real thing She don't want to real, that ain't never change I never been the one, to try to explain While you catch them feels imma sip on this drank It's easing my brain”

You were desperate to run your hands through his soft dark locks, tugging them, then crawling your fingers to the nape of his neck. You yearned to touch him, your body was longing for attention, craving pleasure. But you couldn't do it, you had no idea if he liked you or if he was just being plain old friendly Jungkook. Either way, you were extremely aroused.

“So I found me a new thing I'm not as lost as you think. Got plenty queens in my hometown all they need is drank and that dank.”

You could feel your thong sticking to you, you needed pleasure and you needed it now. You clenched your walls around nothing, hoping for relief but that didn't come. It only made your appetite for Jungkook grow.

“Now I'm like It's a Goddamn shame We done crashed we done burned But baby you the God damn blame See I wanted love but you wanted God damn fame Every God damn thing”

Jungkook glanced at you and smirked

“We’re here.” he announced, you didn't notice since you were too preoccupied with staring at him. You looked out the windshield, it was beautiful, the headlights of the car causing the waves to glisten. You turned to face jungkook. You were sad to see that his hand had left your thigh, you could still feel his touch, his warmth lingering on your skin, he really was ethereal. He turned the car off and sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the headrest. His breathing was heavy and uneven, you could tell something was going on, you knew him too well not to know when something was wrong.

Instead of confronting him about it, you hopped out of the car and sat down on the sand a couple of steps away from his car. You could still feel how warm it had previously been. You listened carefully as you heard the car door open, Jungkook get out and slamming the door shut once again. He came and plonked down on the sand right next to you. You shuddered at the sudden warmth that hit you once again, Jungkook must've noticed since you watched him take his jacket off, placing it on your shoulders then scooching closer so you could feel his heat  pressed up against your body.

“Jungkook.” You whispered

“Yeah?” he replied, his voice a little shaky

“Is everything okay, you know, between us?” You found yourself asking

He let out a deep sigh, moving his gaze from the ocean to your eyes.

“I've been feeling weird lately.” he answered, you wanted to dig more and he didn't look uncomfortable, so you did.

“Why didn’t you ask me to help you with studying? I feel like we’ve been avoiding each other lately.” You stated, you tried to sound as serious as possible.

“It's strange y/n, I’ve watched you grow and up you've watched me grow up. I watched you change from a girl into a woman.” He said as his eyes lingered over your body. You tensed up, knowing all too well what he meant. It was true, you’d obviously changed, you filled out your clothes more, your style changed. Your body changed, and so did his. He was well built, tall, lean and muscular, with a delicate face with intense features, he was surreal.

“I couldn't study with you around, you're too distracting y/n .” he exclaimed

“What do you mean?” you inquired, obviously striking something within Jungkook, he returned his eyes back to yours, locking with them.

“I can't control myself around you anymore ” he stared right into your eyes looking for a sign, your eyes were full with lust, you were inclined to him.

“I feel like i'm going to lose it sometimes, y/n, sometimes I just feel like marking you, bending you over and fucking you on my desk, until you scream out my name, god you make me so hard.” He was serious. His eyes were still burning into yours, you couldn’t help but notice the large bulge growing in his jeans, knowing you were doing this to him, without even touching him, made it that much hotter.

“Good” you whispered, “because I feel the exact same way, god jungkook the things id let you do to me.” And with that you leaned into his face, pressing a small kiss onto his lips, god they were so soft. Everything you had imagined. You kissed him again, this time with more intensity. He placed his tongue at the entrance of your mouth, begging to be let in. You opened up and his tongue attacked yours, dancing in the heat of your mouths. His hand crept over your cheek, then to the nape of your neck, rubbing it as he continued consuming your mouth. His hands crept down to your waist, squeezing it as you moaned into each and every kiss. The fire between your legs aching, you were craving for him to be inside of you.

Jungkook pulled away from the kiss,

“God i’m gonna fuck you so good, you won’t be able to walk, I promise you”

He stood up and you could see the full outline of his dick, pressing hard against his jeans. He pulled you up and placed his face close to yours, his lips tickling your ear lobe.

“Tell me how much you want this y/n” he whispered into your ear, so erotic, you could feel yourself dripping by now.

“So fucking much Kook, your touch alone made me wet”

And with that he picked you up like nothing, you wrapped your legs around his torso instinctively, you could feel his length pressing into you through his jeans, he was big. The small amount of friction made you gasp, it felt so good, relieving some of the pent up heat between your legs.

He placed you down on the hood of his car, roughly. Then pushed you down onto the windshield and pinned both your arms up above your head as his hed trailed down your neck leaving wet marks and hickeys unclasping your bra from underneath your dress and sliding it down. His left hand cupping your breast, playing with your nipple as you let out small gasps and moans.

“Im so wet Jungkook” you moaned loudly, not caring if anyone could hear. He chuckled and continued teasing you. He pulled down the front of your dress revealing your breast, the cold air making your nipples even harder, adding even more pleasure to the entire experience.

He released both of your arms as he placed them on your hips. Lowering his head into your breast, his hot breath making contact with your nipple. He lowered his mouth and started swirling his hot tongue over you, flicking at your nipple every now and then, earning loud wails to escape from your mouth.

“Ah ah jungkook.” you cried out

“Calm down Jagi, we haven’t even started. Now be a good girl and stand up.” he commanded, you didn’t hesitate, not even for a second. You stood up but your legs were already weak causing you to almost fall.

He pulled the straps off your arms and watched as you stood there, top half completely bare for him. You let out a small whine as he pulled the dress down even more, exposing most of your stomach, the cold breeze blowing, giving you goosebumps and he placed a light kiss on your breast.

You let out a loud gasp as you watched jungkook tear your dress in half, leaving you there exposed as he let go of the dress, letting it blow away into the night. You gave him a lustful look as you saw him stare at your lower half. You were soaked through completely, but that wasn’t enough foreplay for him. He was just getting started.

“Get back on the hood. Now.” he commanded once again, and you did not hesitate.

The hood was cold now, causing a tingling sensation to spiral throughout your body. Only to be relieved when you felt the hot touch of jungkook's hands lingering over your waist. He pulled down your thong to reveal your dripping juices. You watched in awe as he licked his lips and went down on you. His tongue flicking your clit ravishly. He was sucking on your clit, swirling his tongue in all the right ways. You grasped his hair with both hand pulling him in closer, letting out cries and moaning his name.

“Fuck jungkook you're so go-” He was so good you weren't even able to finish your sentence.

He got back up and looked at you, you stared as you watched him lick two fingers and insert them inside of you with ease, curling them upwards in the right spot, finding your sweet spot instantly. He placed his tongue back onto you, moving simultaneously with his fingers. He moaned into you, sending vibrations pulsing towards all directions. You were so close so fast. He really was amazing at this.

“How are you so fucking tight around my fingers when you’re this wet, so tight and so pretty. Imagine how it’s gonna feel with my dick y/n.”

“Fuck Jungkook i'm gonna cum. ” you shouted in unsteady breaths, surprised you even managed to get it out.

“Come for me jagi, I wanna see how beautiful you look when you come for me.” he sped up the pace of his fingers and started swirling his tongue more violently, next thing you were screaming his name, coming for what seemed like hours, having him there, riding you off on your high as you pulled endlessly on his dark locks. He pulled his fingers out of you and looked back into your eyes, licking the juices off.

“Fuck you taste so much better than I imagined jagi, so sweet and pretty, look at you, so easy to please.”

You moaned in response still breathless from coming already.

“Stand up Jagi. now.” You didn’t need to be told twice. You tried to stand up but your legs were to wobbly, he completely destroyed you with his fingers, oh how good would his dick feel.

You managed to stand up, it took all you had but you did. You watched as he stood directly in front of you and caressed your face. He stepped back for a second as you watched him peel off his shirt, revealing his toned chest and abs, he smirked as he noticed you face, blushing. Even though he was going down on you not so long ago.

“Unbuckle me.” he commanded and you did what he said.

He pulled your hand and directed you to the back of his car, he opened the back door and got in first then pulled you inside. Connecting your lips with his once more, softer this time, realising how sensitive you were right now. You felt his hot hands lead to down to your breast, squeezing then releasing them only stopping to move his hand down to your ass. He spanked you hard, which earned him a loud cry of his name, his hands rubbed your cheeks tenderly relieving some of  the pain.

You watched as he pulled his jeans and briefs down, letting his erection spring free, his tip swollen already. His dick springing up against his stomach, it was huge. You would never of imagined Jungkook would be so big. You were proven wrong, once again.

“Ride me jagi, I want to feel you around me.” he said in a cooler toned voice, sounding more sexy and erotic.

You sat above him, preparing for his length, you slid down with ease but he was so thick. You could tell he was resisting the urge to flip you over and fuck you like he wanted to, but he knew you had to adjust to his size. And the stretch felt so good, you  had to admit. You were about halfway down his length as you slid back up earning breathy moans from Jungkook.

This time you slid down, taking in all of his length, Jungkook's hand connected with your ass, a loud slapping sound echoing. It jerked you forward a bit but it just made his dick that much more intense, he rubbed the spot he slapped you in and moved his hands to your breast. Rubbing them and sucking on your nipples, paying equal attention to the both of them this time.

You were both moaning by now, not even trying to hide how good it felt. He felt so big and warm inside of you. You sped up whilst riding him, you sensed you were close and cried out his name once again.

“Ah jungkook i'm gonna come again, fuck Jungkook you're so big and it feels so good.” you wailed out.

“Jagi you’re so fucking sexy you know that, you looks so beautiful when you come.”

You hummed in response.

He flipped you over, your back laying on the cold leather of the seat as he hovered above you. You watched as he placed his thumb above your clit and started swirling as he pumped in and out of you, your juices clearly coating his dick.

“Fuck y/n” you earned a loud deep moan from Jungkook

You arched your back as your hand roamed up towards his chest, running along the outlines of each and every nook and cranny, your touch was obviously affecting him as you saw his muscles contracting.

The familiar feeling was building back up between your thighs again, you were close so much closer. You heard his moans getting louder.

“Ah fuck Jungkook i’m gonna come, harder baby harder.” you yelled as you watched the beads of sweat form on his forehead but he sped up just for you, going in deeper and harder, his thumb swirling around your clit while his mouth swirling over your nipple.

“Fuck Jagi, so fucking tight.” he moaned out and with that, you came a second time, crying out with moans of pleasure, it felt so much more intense this time, your entire body aching, dripping with sweat, he rode you throughout your high again this time. Jungkook still hadn't come so you propped him back up, sitting on top of him, riding him again. You placed your mouth on his neck, earning a sweet cry of pleasure from Jungkook, you sucked there until you're heard his breathing get heavy. You reached back and started swirling his balls in the palm of your hand, speeding up the pace of you riding him as he started thrusting into you from underneath, the loud sound of skin connecting echoed throughout the car. You noticed his thrusts getting sloppier so you rode him even faster, crying out his name.

“Ah Jungkook i wanna see you cum, do it for me baby.” you cried out, you felt a hot splash of liquid burst inside of you. You continued to play with his balls and ride every last drop out of him. He was crying out your name and bit down on your shoulder, his moans sending vibrations to every inch of your body. His face was bright pink and his hair stuck to his face. He looked so pretty, so vulnerable.

You used this opportunity to place a small kiss on his lips, much gentler than before but somehow it felt more intimate than before.

You stayed there for a while, your head resting on his shoulder as you were both exhausted.

“You were so good jagi, I swear no one fucks like you.”

You smiled back, unable to contain the happiness that you felt when he said that.

“How about we go back to mine and you can have a shower and sleep with me?”

He asked, eyes wide and hopeful.

“”Id love to.” you exclaimed, obviously excited.

“But you owe me a new dress.” you said, an attempt to sound serious.

“Trust me Jagi, you’ll get something, just not a dress.”

EXTRA: thank you for reading!, just saying I might not be very active considering I have exams coming up, please feel free to leave requests ect. in my ask box tytyty

[punkrockisafulltimejob]

@blacksteeldrake okay here’s the ice cream one!

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

I was fourteen, it was when my best friend was sleeping over. We were kind of experimenting...

french vanilla: how old are you?

I’m twenty! So boring, being twenty. 

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

Mississippi (one of my mutuals knows why and he can fight me), Great Britain, and Maine. I’ve already been to two of those places, but whatever. 

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

Italian. I already know Spanish and ASL, on top of my native English, and I’ve been writing a character who speaks Italian with his mother, so I’m already sort of learning. I can call people “fucking morons”. 

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

Um... Black eyeliner can be bought anywhere, and that’s pretty much all I wear. I’m a guy, you think I pay attention to that shit?

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

I think each has a time and place. If I had a whole day where I could go to the beach, or the river, or something nice like that, I will enjoy it immensely. But I’m also happy to sit inside and read. 

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

I played violin when I was in elementary school, and now it’s just the guitar.

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

Fuck you lol. I can’t pick! I have a playlist of over 1500 songs that I’ve labeled “favorites”, and I don’t even have close to all of the songs I want. Assume many of them are by the Eagles. But I suppose if you check the “lyrics” tag on my blog you’ll find a good portion. 

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

Anything by the Eagles. That’s quite literally the only band I’ve listened to since birth. 

cheesecake: what's your zodiac sign?

I’m a cancer.

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

Beach! 

chocolate chip: what's your most popular post?

Um... I don’t really know. Wait, yes I do. It’s a headcanon post for my favorite TV show (House MD)

bubblegum: books or movies?

Books, by far.

pistachio: manga or anime?

Neither? Sadly, I only really got into one manga/anime but I never got a chance to finish it.

salted caramel: favorite movies?

Repo! The Genetic Opera, Harry Potter, Shawshank Redemption, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Dead Poet’s Society... A lot of Robin Williams movies... I think that covers it.

birthday cake: favorite books?

TOO MANY TO NAME

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

Fruits Basket.

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

Fruits Basket and Ouran High School Host Club.

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

Science. I loved physics and anatomy & physiology.

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

See Previous Ask Prompt Answer

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

Well, I’ve technically had this blog twice. I started it the first time in high school because everyone else was doing it. Second time, I made it because I needed a place to vent and just collect my thoughts. I’ve had it for three years total. 

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

Warm and rainy.

black cherry: four words that describe you?

Sarcastic

Asshole

Loving

Caring (I know these all contradict lol but it’s true)

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

Life. My anxiety disorders. 

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

Classic rock, but I really just listen to what I like. I have almost everything on my computer (I really don’t listen to rap, that’s about it)

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

Just give me all of the Hershey’s chocolate. Now. 

toffee: a card game that you're good at?

Phase 10 and Garbage. I think that’s what the second one is called. Well, my dad and I play it. 

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

Nope. I can’t eat too early, otherwise I get sick. 

dark chocolate: turn ons?

Clean: respect, playfulness. Dirty: some serious dirty talk, dominance (I’m a serious submissive), and bondage. I wouldn’t quite say I’m into BDSM but I’m up there. 

fudge: turn offs?

Call me a bitch and I will kick you to the curb so fast you won’t remember what I’m wearing. 

peach: how do you relax?

I... don’t?

praline: a popular book you haven't read yet?

I haven’t read Lord of the Rings and I’m ashamed.

superman: do you like sweaters?

I do! So much!

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

Coffee. Bean juice is the superior of plant based drinks. 

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

I think it would be awesome to know more piano than I do. I can do the basics. That’s about it. 

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

Oh god yeah. A lot of the times I hung out with my best friend. 

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

Functionality. 

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

@thethirdencore, @just-hilson-things, and my mutuals. 

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.” I say it all the time whenever I’m picking up one of my friends. 

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

No color. If they’re ever painted (which is super rarely) it’s black. 

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

Yeah. 

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

*glances at heart* unfortunately.

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

Hell yeah. I’ a college student with a job. Naps are my life. 

mint: the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?

In second grade, I kissed a girl on the cheek for opening my snack when I couldn’t. In a full cafeteria. 

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

I’m literally eating some as I answer this lol.

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

With someone...

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

Yeah. I need new ones though.

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

Chocolate and Cookies and Cream. One time my favorite brand came out with a chocolate ice cream with oreo cookies in it and it was literally the best thing ever but they discontinued it or something because I can’t find it anywhere now.

And there you have it! Thanks again for asking so many, so, so many questions. 

[quiltdeer52-blog]

Cranberry Bliss Bars

Tis’ the season for Cranberry Bliss Bars! So first of all let me preface this blog post by mentioning that I could house an entire box of Starbucks Cranberry Bliss Bars to myself. In one sitting. They are one of my all-time favorites. So I decided to make a gluten-free, grain-free, copycat version because why the hell not?! It’s Christmas!

Okay so another thing I should maybe mention is that I’m obsessed with Christmas. Like OBSESSED obsessed. I put my tree up the day after Thanksgiving and I’ve had eggnog in my fridge since late September. What?! I can’t help it. Christmas is the best. Mainly because everything is covered in lights, Uggs are acceptable footwear, scarves are the best accessory, and the baking is on point. Oh man is the baking on point. Not only is baking so fun and delicious, but then you can also use the heat from the oven to heat your house, so it’s kind of like you’re saving money. Is it? No, it’s not, but just go with it.

So I also have been meaning to write a follow up to my July blog post about how I quit drinking for 8 months. Oh, you haven’t read that post yet? Well let’s go ahead and pause here so you can get caught up. It’s fine, I’ll wait…

And we’re back. So lots of you wonderful blog readers have reached out wondering, “What the heck Vanessa, are you a full-blown alcoholic again after your Honeymoon, or what? The people are dying to know.” So let’s go ahead and get right on into it, here’s my recap: I drank on our Honeymoon, I had champagne, piña coladas, dirty martinis, the works. I really enjoyed myself and I was surprisingly not hungover at all. I think the most drinks I had in one day would be about 4 though, so it’s not like I was a college girl after finals or anything.

I definitely felt and still feel myself sliding back in though. As I type this it’s only be 6 days since I’ve had a drink. After vacation ended I stayed sober until I visited a friend in San Francisco for my birthday (about a month total) and then I didn’t drink at all the month of October, I did a “Sober October” to try and get my sh!t together. Then November came in hot! I’ve basically drank every weekend in November, usually 3-4 drinks, sometimes in one day, sometimes over the whole weekend. We visited family in Tucson earlier in the month, then I had a friend in town, and then it was Thanksgiving…blah blah blah excuses, excuses. So I basically feel like someone who is walking up a steep hill and then every few feet or so, I slide back down part of the way. I believe “a slippery slope” is the easier and technical way to say that right? Ugh. See. Alcohol makes you dumb. Even after 6 days without it.

The original plan was to only drink on Holidays, special occasions, or when it’s really worth it. That plan has proven much harder to stick to than I originally thought it would. I think I just want to be one of those “in moderation” people so bad that I’m like, “Oh yeah, totally, I can make that work.” I’m still going to earnestly give that route a try because it makes the most sense to me. So the goal now is to make it until Christmas Eve without a drink and then start fresh in the New Year and go as long as I can again.

Each time I drink now I make a conscious effort to really ask myself, “What is it about this that I think I like so much?” because to be completely honest, the last few times I’ve gotten buzzed, it’s given me a sort of nervous paranoid anxiety that made me feel like, “I don’t like this, I feel uncomfortably fuzzy, I can’t articulate what I’m trying to say to this person, and I feel like everyone knows I’m drunk.” but then I still continue to do it anyway.  Why? Is it to just check out of reality for a second? Or make things more challenging just for the fun of it? What is it? I’m still trying to figure this out.

On our 6 hour road trip to Tucson, Brad and I played the New York Times 36 Questions to Love which you are actually supposed to play with someone you’ve never met, but I thought it would be a good way to kill time. We’re married, so obviously we already knew a lot of the answers to the questions about each other, but it was still fun and there were actually quite a few that we didn’t know about each other. Like Question 1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? He said me! Isn’t he the best?! That’s why I married him, but then I made him pick someone else besides me and he said Jesus. Which I thought was strange since he doesn’t believe in God, but anyway that’s another blog post for another time.

Fast forward to Question 12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? His answer was amazing, he said, “I’d wake up without any vices.” Well, wow, that got me thinking (mainly because my answer was something dumb like be invisible or be able to sing) what causes us to have vices or need vices? Is that why I think I’m entitled to a drink whenever I want one? Is it because we live in a world where we feel entitled to our vices? Like we’ve earned them?

So I guess the Cliff’s Notes version of this blog post is I’ve realized I don’t particularly enjoy drinking that much anymore, but I’m still doing it anyway, and I have no idea why. Maybe I need therapy?! Or maybe I just need to read This Naked Mind again. Then the other part of me is like, who cares, YOLO, just drink and be merry. It’s the quintessential angel and devil on each shoulder.

So knowing what I know now, would I have still chosen to drink on my honeymoon or would I have continued my non-drinking stretch? The answer is yes, I would have still drank regardless. I enjoyed having piña coladas in St. Barth’s and having expensive champagne on my wedding night in St. Maarten, and drinking a cocktail as I watched the sun set over Anguilla. Yes. I’d do it again and again. It was part of the experience for me, and while it’s true that I know I would have had just as much fun without it, I still liked the feeling of just letting my hair down and completely indulging with no guilt. Just like you’re supposed to do on vacation.

As someone who rarely lets their hair down, meaning that figuratively rather than literally, because I’ve actually been wearing my hair down a lot lately, as I feel a workout bun is just not an appropriate way to present myself to society, no matter how convenient it may be and I spend way too much money cutting and coloring my hair to just throw it up so no one can see. I’m rambling aren’t I, where were we again? 

Ah! Letting my figurative hair down felt really nice and carefree. And since I’m an abstainer, it’s hard for me to get out of the drinking cycle, if I’m still drinking on weekends. Are you as confused as I am? It’s hard getting all of your random thoughts and feelings into one concise point or blog post, so forgive me if this post seems scattered. I blame the alcohol obviously. 😉

I’m excited to see what 2018 has in store! I’m excited to get off the drink again and get back to that place where I was living my best life and things weren’t so foggy. As much as our society worships alcohol, I think there is really something to be said about living an alcohol-free life. It’s charming almost, simple and charismatic.

So anywho! That’s that. The married life rules too in case you were wondering. I love it! Everyone I tell that to says, “Oh well enjoy it while you can, that will change real soon!” Um, excuse me, that’s not nice. Be nice. Speaking of being nice, you absolutely have to make these copycat Cranberry Bliss Bars because they are just too delicious not to, they are very nice. So nice in fact that I think Santa took them off the ‘Naughty’ list just for you.

12 tablespoons (170 g) salted butter, browned

2 cups (184 g) sifted fine grain blanched almond flour

1/4 cup (40 g) coconut flour

1½ teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon cream of tartar

¼ teaspoon fine-grain sea salt

¼ teaspoon ground ginger

1 cup (135 g) sifted maple sugar

2 large eggs, room temperature

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup (6 oz./180 g) white chocolate, chips or chopped

½ cup (70g) dried cranberries

16 ounces (452g) cream cheese, softened (see Notes for dairy-free option)

8 tablespoons (112g) unsalted butter, softened

1 cup (115g) (70g) powdered sugar, or sifted maple sugar

¼ cup (60ml) light-colored raw honey

1 teaspoon orange extract

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

½ cup (50g) finely chopped dried cranberries, for garnish

½ cup (90g) white chocolate, chips or chopped, for garnish

Brown the butter by placing it in a medium-sized heavy-bottomed saucepan (2.5qt./2.3L) and cook over medium-low heat. Stir intermittently using a rubber spatula. As the butter melts it will start to bubble and foam. As the butter continues to brown, the color will turn from lemon yellow to amber and go from a loud bubble to quiet simmer. When the butter is ready, brown specks will have formed at the bottom of the pan and some will start rise in the foam. The butter will also have a very pleasant nutty aroma. Remove from the heat and let cool for about 15 minutes. While butter is cooling prepare other ingredients.

In a large mixing bowl combine the almond flour, coconut flour, baking soda, cream of tartar, ground ginger, and salt. Stir together using a fork until well combined; set aside. In a separate medium mixing bowl add the maple sugar.

Once the butter has cooled, use a rubber spatula to transfer it into the maple sugar bowl, use the spatula to scrape in the browned bits as well. Beat together the butter and sugar with an electric mixer on low speed until combined, about 1 minute. Once the butter and sugar are mixed together, add eggs one at a time, mixing well after each, and then add the vanilla. Increase mixer speed to high and continue to beat until smooth bubbles appear on the surface, about 1 minute.

Transfer the wet egg mixture to the dry mixture. Use the spatula to scrape out any remaining liquid in the bowl. Beat on low until thoroughly combined. Then mix in the white chocolate and cranberries by hand. Scrape the dough down into the bowl and cover with plastic wrap, pressing directly on the surface. Place in the freezer to chill for one hour.

About 15 minutes before the hour is up, adjust oven rack to the middle position. Preheat the oven to 350°F (177°C). Line a 9x13 quarter sheet pan with parchment paper; set aside.

Once the dough is chilled, use fingertips to grab some dough and spread the dough evenly across the pan. Place a piece of parchment paper over the dough and roll out until the dough reaches the edges of the pan. It will rise during baking. Bake for 22-25 minutes or until browned on the top and edges and a toothpick comes out clean. Make sure the middle is cooked through completely. Cool completely before frosting.

Add the cream cheese and butter to a large mixing bowl or to the bowl of a stand mixer. Beat together using a hand mixer or stand mixer set on medium speed until fluffy and combined. Gradually add the sugar, beating well after each addition. Then add the honey, vanilla, and orange extract and continue to mix until smooth and creamy.

Use an angled frosting spatula to spread the frosting across the cookie layer. To garnish, sprinkle the dried cranberries across the frosting.

Melt the white chocolate in the top pan of a double boiler over simmering water. Stir until smooth. Another method is to place the white chocolate in a large glass or metal mixing bowl set over a saucepan of simmering water. Stir intermittently, using a rubber spatula, until the white chocolate is completely melted. Once melted, let slightly cool, then transfer to a piping bag or re-sealable plastic bag with the corner cut off. Drizzle across the top of the frosting.

Use a sharp large chef’s knife to cut into 12 squares, wiping the blade after each cut. Then cut each square in half diagonally. Serve immediately. Store any leftovers covered in the refrigerator for up to 4 days.

To make these dairy-free, sub ghee for the butter (I recommend Tin Star Browned Butter Ghee or 4th Heart Ghee) and sub dairy-free cream cheese for the cream cheese in the frosting. Kite Hill makes a great dairy-free cream cheese and you can find their products in health food stores across the country. Omit white chocolate chips or use a dairy-free version.

Clean Eating with a Dirty Mind http://cleaneatingwithadirtymind.com/

December 1, 2017 | 17 Comments

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Tags: Bars, Cookies, Eggnog, Holidays, Paleo Desserts

Source: http://cleaneatingwithadirtymind.com/2017/12/01/cranberry-bliss-bars/

[drakefridge44-blog]

Cranberry Bliss Bars

Tis’ the season for Cranberry Bliss Bars! So first of all let me preface this blog post by mentioning that I could house an entire box of Starbucks Cranberry Bliss Bars to myself. In one sitting. They are one of my all-time favorites. So I decided to make a gluten-free, grain-free, copycat version because why the hell not?! It’s Christmas!

Okay so another thing I should maybe mention is that I’m obsessed with Christmas. Like OBSESSED obsessed. I put my tree up the day after Thanksgiving and I’ve had eggnog in my fridge since late September. What?! I can’t help it. Christmas is the best. Mainly because everything is covered in lights, Uggs are acceptable footwear, scarves are the best accessory, and the baking is on point. Oh man is the baking on point. Not only is baking so fun and delicious, but then you can also use the heat from the oven to heat your house, so it’s kind of like you’re saving money. Is it? No, it’s not, but just go with it.

So I also have been meaning to write a follow up to my July blog post about how I quit drinking for 8 months. Oh, you haven’t read that post yet? Well let’s go ahead and pause here so you can get caught up. It’s fine, I’ll wait…

And we’re back. So lots of you wonderful blog readers have reached out wondering, “What the heck Vanessa, are you a full-blown alcoholic again after your Honeymoon, or what? The people are dying to know.” So let’s go ahead and get right on into it, here’s my recap: I drank on our Honeymoon, I had champagne, piña coladas, dirty martinis, the works. I really enjoyed myself and I was surprisingly not hungover at all. I think the most drinks I had in one day would be about 4 though, so it’s not like I was a college girl after finals or anything.

I definitely felt and still feel myself sliding back in though. As I type this it’s only be 6 days since I’ve had a drink. After vacation ended I stayed sober until I visited a friend in San Francisco for my birthday (about a month total) and then I didn’t drink at all the month of October, I did a “Sober October” to try and get my sh!t together. Then November came in hot! I’ve basically drank every weekend in November, usually 3-4 drinks, sometimes in one day, sometimes over the whole weekend. We visited family in Tucson earlier in the month, then I had a friend in town, and then it was Thanksgiving…blah blah blah excuses, excuses. So I basically feel like someone who is walking up a steep hill and then every few feet or so, I slide back down part of the way. I believe “a slippery slope” is the easier and technical way to say that right? Ugh. See. Alcohol makes you dumb. Even after 6 days without it.

The original plan was to only drink on Holidays, special occasions, or when it’s really worth it. That plan has proven much harder to stick to than I originally thought it would. I think I just want to be one of those “in moderation” people so bad that I’m like, “Oh yeah, totally, I can make that work.” I’m still going to earnestly give that route a try because it makes the most sense to me. So the goal now is to make it until Christmas Eve without a drink and then start fresh in the New Year and go as long as I can again.

Each time I drink now I make a conscious effort to really ask myself, “What is it about this that I think I like so much?” because to be completely honest, the last few times I’ve gotten buzzed, it’s given me a sort of nervous paranoid anxiety that made me feel like, “I don’t like this, I feel uncomfortably fuzzy, I can’t articulate what I’m trying to say to this person, and I feel like everyone knows I’m drunk.” but then I still continue to do it anyway.  Why? Is it to just check out of reality for a second? Or make things more challenging just for the fun of it? What is it? I’m still trying to figure this out.

On our 6 hour road trip to Tucson, Brad and I played the New York Times 36 Questions to Love which you are actually supposed to play with someone you’ve never met, but I thought it would be a good way to kill time. We’re married, so obviously we already knew a lot of the answers to the questions about each other, but it was still fun and there were actually quite a few that we didn’t know about each other. Like Question 1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? He said me! Isn’t he the best?! That’s why I married him, but then I made him pick someone else besides me and he said Jesus. Which I thought was strange since he doesn’t believe in God, but anyway that’s another blog post for another time.

Fast forward to Question 12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? His answer was amazing, he said, “I’d wake up without any vices.” Well, wow, that got me thinking (mainly because my answer was something dumb like be invisible or be able to sing) what causes us to have vices or need vices? Is that why I think I’m entitled to a drink whenever I want one? Is it because we live in a world where we feel entitled to our vices? Like we’ve earned them?

So I guess the Cliff’s Notes version of this blog post is I’ve realized I don’t particularly enjoy drinking that much anymore, but I’m still doing it anyway, and I have no idea why. Maybe I need therapy?! Or maybe I just need to read This Naked Mind again. Then the other part of me is like, who cares, YOLO, just drink and be merry. It’s the quintessential angel and devil on each shoulder.

So knowing what I know now, would I have still chosen to drink on my honeymoon or would I have continued my non-drinking stretch? The answer is yes, I would have still drank regardless. I enjoyed having piña coladas in St. Barth’s and having expensive champagne on my wedding night in St. Maarten, and drinking a cocktail as I watched the sun set over Anguilla. Yes. I’d do it again and again. It was part of the experience for me, and while it’s true that I know I would have had just as much fun without it, I still liked the feeling of just letting my hair down and completely indulging with no guilt. Just like you’re supposed to do on vacation.

As someone who rarely lets their hair down, meaning that figuratively rather than literally, because I’ve actually been wearing my hair down a lot lately, as I feel a workout bun is just not an appropriate way to present myself to society, no matter how convenient it may be and I spend way too much money cutting and coloring my hair to just throw it up so no one can see. I’m rambling aren’t I, where were we again? 

Ah! Letting my figurative hair down felt really nice and carefree. And since I’m an abstainer, it’s hard for me to get out of the drinking cycle, if I’m still drinking on weekends. Are you as confused as I am? It’s hard getting all of your random thoughts and feelings into one concise point or blog post, so forgive me if this post seems scattered. I blame the alcohol obviously. 😉

I’m excited to see what 2018 has in store! I’m excited to get off the drink again and get back to that place where I was living my best life and things weren’t so foggy. As much as our society worships alcohol, I think there is really something to be said about living an alcohol-free life. It’s charming almost, simple and charismatic.

So anywho! That’s that. The married life rules too in case you were wondering. I love it! Everyone I tell that to says, “Oh well enjoy it while you can, that will change real soon!” Um, excuse me, that’s not nice. Be nice. Speaking of being nice, you absolutely have to make these copycat Cranberry Bliss Bars because they are just too delicious not to, they are very nice. So nice in fact that I think Santa took them off the ‘Naughty’ list just for you.

12 tablespoons (170 g) salted butter, browned

2 cups (184 g) sifted fine grain blanched almond flour

1/4 cup (40 g) coconut flour

1½ teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon cream of tartar

¼ teaspoon fine-grain sea salt

¼ teaspoon ground ginger

1 cup (135 g) sifted maple sugar

2 large eggs, room temperature

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup (6 oz./180 g) white chocolate, chips or chopped

½ cup (70g) dried cranberries

16 ounces (452g) cream cheese, softened (see Notes for dairy-free option)

8 tablespoons (112g) unsalted butter, softened

1 cup (115g) (70g) powdered sugar, or sifted maple sugar

¼ cup (60ml) light-colored raw honey

1 teaspoon orange extract

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

½ cup (50g) finely chopped dried cranberries, for garnish

½ cup (90g) white chocolate, chips or chopped, for garnish

Brown the butter by placing it in a medium-sized heavy-bottomed saucepan (2.5qt./2.3L) and cook over medium-low heat. Stir intermittently using a rubber spatula. As the butter melts it will start to bubble and foam. As the butter continues to brown, the color will turn from lemon yellow to amber and go from a loud bubble to quiet simmer. When the butter is ready, brown specks will have formed at the bottom of the pan and some will start rise in the foam. The butter will also have a very pleasant nutty aroma. Remove from the heat and let cool for about 15 minutes. While butter is cooling prepare other ingredients.

In a large mixing bowl combine the almond flour, coconut flour, baking soda, cream of tartar, ground ginger, and salt. Stir together using a fork until well combined; set aside. In a separate medium mixing bowl add the maple sugar.

Once the butter has cooled, use a rubber spatula to transfer it into the maple sugar bowl, use the spatula to scrape in the browned bits as well. Beat together the butter and sugar with an electric mixer on low speed until combined, about 1 minute. Once the butter and sugar are mixed together, add eggs one at a time, mixing well after each, and then add the vanilla. Increase mixer speed to high and continue to beat until smooth bubbles appear on the surface, about 1 minute.

Transfer the wet egg mixture to the dry mixture. Use the spatula to scrape out any remaining liquid in the bowl. Beat on low until thoroughly combined. Then mix in the white chocolate and cranberries by hand. Scrape the dough down into the bowl and cover with plastic wrap, pressing directly on the surface. Place in the freezer to chill for one hour.

About 15 minutes before the hour is up, adjust oven rack to the middle position. Preheat the oven to 350°F (177°C). Line a 9x13 quarter sheet pan with parchment paper; set aside.

Once the dough is chilled, use fingertips to grab some dough and spread the dough evenly across the pan. Place a piece of parchment paper over the dough and roll out until the dough reaches the edges of the pan. It will rise during baking. Bake for 22-25 minutes or until browned on the top and edges and a toothpick comes out clean. Make sure the middle is cooked through completely. Cool completely before frosting.

Add the cream cheese and butter to a large mixing bowl or to the bowl of a stand mixer. Beat together using a hand mixer or stand mixer set on medium speed until fluffy and combined. Gradually add the sugar, beating well after each addition. Then add the honey, vanilla, and orange extract and continue to mix until smooth and creamy.

Use an angled frosting spatula to spread the frosting across the cookie layer. To garnish, sprinkle the dried cranberries across the frosting.

Melt the white chocolate in the top pan of a double boiler over simmering water. Stir until smooth. Another method is to place the white chocolate in a large glass or metal mixing bowl set over a saucepan of simmering water. Stir intermittently, using a rubber spatula, until the white chocolate is completely melted. Once melted, let slightly cool, then transfer to a piping bag or re-sealable plastic bag with the corner cut off. Drizzle across the top of the frosting.

Use a sharp large chef’s knife to cut into 12 squares, wiping the blade after each cut. Then cut each square in half diagonally. Serve immediately. Store any leftovers covered in the refrigerator for up to 4 days.

To make these dairy-free, sub ghee for the butter (I recommend Tin Star Browned Butter Ghee or 4th Heart Ghee) and sub dairy-free cream cheese for the cream cheese in the frosting. Kite Hill makes a great dairy-free cream cheese and you can find their products in health food stores across the country. Omit white chocolate chips or use a dairy-free version.

Clean Eating with a Dirty Mind http://cleaneatingwithadirtymind.com/

December 1, 2017 | 17 Comments

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Tags: Bars, Cookies, Eggnog, Holidays, Paleo Desserts

Source: http://cleaneatingwithadirtymind.com/2017/12/01/cranberry-bliss-bars/

[andinewton]

Second Chances - Avengers Redemption Series - Part One - Chapter 34

Characters:  Loki, Maia Tomson (OFC), Sigyn, pretty much everyone from the MCU appears at some point, including some special appearances by members of the X-Men!

Pairings: Loki x Maia Tomson, Loki x Sigyn,

Warnings:  Smut, so much smut, violence, swearing; listen, it’s NSFW and 18+, just bear that in mind!

Word Count: 179105

Summary: Loki has been handed over to The Avengers to pay penance for his past crimes, underpowered and underwhelmed by his post he is assigned a new ‘guide to Midgard’ by his superiors and is more than a little surprised when a petite freckled, redhead is waiting in the conference room, not at all like the previous handlers he has been assigned, who quit after a very short time with the snarky god. Maia Tomson is a trained literature teacher and counsellor, maybe not someone you would have picked out to be a guide to the God of Mischief but her mentor, Charles Xavier, knows she likes a challenge, and when The Avengers ask him to recommend someone she is top of his list. Surprised by the assignment, Maia takes it on, promising to do her best, but was not counting on a mutual attraction with her charge.

Join Loki on a journey to discover that his heart is not as frozen as he believes it to be, an adventure spanning almost a millennia of love gained and lost and rediscovered in the most unlikely of places…

Master List

Chapter 34

Summary:  An Avengers debriefing, Maia meets Clint and Loki wishes to see Maia's wounds fully.

OKAY, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!  HERE IS THE FIRST SMUT!!  REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Being in another Avengers debriefing wasn’t something Maia had hoped to repeat, but there she sat, listening to a complete rundown of what had happened. Thor had not yet returned which meant Loki was the only one who could tell what happened once they travelled through the bifrost. He kept it basic, that the drake had been dead on arrival, he had been returned to Midgard, and Thor was trying to ascertain how the drake had come to be there in the first place. All the information he had provided with potential attackers had given very little to go on other than his descriptions of what they were capable of. Maia felt more like an honorary participant, having only had to confirm what had happened when the attack began and what she had done to help Loki, effectively loaning him her powers. Hill and Fury shared a look and Loki rolled his eyes.

‘Honestly, if I had wished to escape that would have been the perfect opportunity. I could have removed the cuff, but I did not even attempt to do so.’ ‘We’ll put it on record.’ Fury said simply. ‘And the two of you will not practice any more magic, or whatever it is, outside of one of Banner’s cells. Understood?’ ‘Perfectly.’ Loki replied. ‘Is there anything else?’ Fury looked among the assembled Avengers and no one had any more to add. The meeting was adjourned and almost everyone had filed out, except Nat who asked Maia to hold on, which meant Loki did too, and Hawkeye. ‘You haven’t met Clint yet, have you Maia?’ Nat asked, angling Maia towards him. ‘No, I haven’t. Hi.’ She offered him her hand and he stepped forward, taking it and studying her eyes. ‘Pleasure, can I ask you something?’ ‘Can’t be any more personal than the questions I’ve had from Darcy.’ Clint smiled at that. ‘We love Darcy but we need to change the filter between her mouth and brain. What’s your natural eye colour?’ Loki laughed out loud. ‘Very good, Agent Barton.’ ‘Blue.’ She said uncertainly. Clint nodded. ‘Just checking.’ ‘The mind stone now resides in your Vision, the staff is gone.’ Loki pointed out. ‘I told you.’ Nat gave him a knowing look. ‘We have Vision, Wanda and Professor X’s word he was coerced into working for the Chitauri.’ ‘He still enjoyed it.’ ‘Making the best of a bad situation.’ Loki shrugged. ‘And if you recall I knew all about your secret family and yet told no one. I did the bare minimum asked of me, shared nothing I was not asked to.’ ‘Yeah, okay.’ Clint conceded reluctantly before turning to Nat. ‘You coming sparring?’ ‘Two secs.’ She turned back to Maia. ‘Ladies night is still happening, we’ll just move the venue here.’ ‘Darcy already mentioned it so I assumed as much.’ Clint narrowed his eyes at her. ‘Why do I get the feeling Darcy has some graphic questions in mind for you?’ ‘She already asked some.’ He looked at Nat. ‘Do I want to know?’ ‘Probably not.’ She grinned, turning back to Maia. ‘You’re welcome to join us for sparring, if you want?’ ‘Maia was injured during the initial drake attack.’ Loki stated before Maia could answer. ‘She needs to have her wounds checked.’ ‘How were you injured?’ Nat realised she hadn’t seen any signs of injury on her. ‘Just shards of glass in my back, nothing major, but I’ll get a rain check on the sparring.’ Maia smiled. ‘You’re welcome to join us anytime.’ Nat smiled. ‘Nice to meet you.’ Clint winked at her then they left together. Loki slipped his hand into Maia’s immediately, pulling her towards the door. ‘Are you feeling any better, dear one?’ ‘Dear one? That’s cute.’ Tony was standing just outside the door, leaning against the wall with his arms folded. ‘Can we help you, Anthony?’ Loki asked more patiently than he felt. ‘Scarlet’s new phone.’ He held the unit out to her but smiled at Loki. ‘Tomorrow night still stands.’ ‘It does?’ Maia asked. ‘Pending any more disasters.’ He shrugged. ‘Someone will collect you both, seven thirty as planned. One question though.’ Tony pushed away from the wall. ‘What else is Thor doing on Asgard?’ ‘What my brother does is his business, and I would hate to speculate.’ ‘Then let’s be more specific. What’s he doing for you on Asgard?’ Loki raised his chin and smirked. ‘Very astute, Anthony. Just a small matter, nothing to concern yourself over.’ ‘Which means it should concern us all and will probably bite us in the ass later.’ ‘I highly doubt that.’ Loki tried reassuring him. ‘Fine, don’t share. I’ll find out eventually.’ He took a packet of almonds out of his pocket and offered one to Maia, who accepted. ‘It is a personal matter.’ ‘I don’t believe that for a second. Don’t forget, dinner is at seven. I’ll show you a few little tricks on your new phone.’ He said as he retreated down the corridor. Loki pulled Maia’s hand and began the walk back to their apartment and she spoke as soon as she was sure they were out of earshot. ‘You don’t want Tony to know about the dream?’ ‘I do not wish to add extra concerns to the team until I am sure it is necessary.’ ‘Alright.’ ‘You disagree?’ ‘I’m still hoping it was just a dream.’ ‘All the same, we shall be prepared.’ She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘You just told Fury no magic outside of Bruce’s cell.’ ‘I told him nothing of the sort. I said I understood that was what he wanted, not that I agreed.’ ‘You are so sneaky.’ She shook her head, reaching over her shoulder to scratch where the label of the hoodie was catching on a band aid. ‘I am breaking no rule.’ ‘Still sneaky. So, now what? You teach me to break an enchantment and we wait for Thor?’ She rolled her shoulder. ‘Is something bothering you, dearest?’ ‘Label in the hoodie.’ She let go of his hand and pulled it over her head before tying it around her waist. ‘All better.’ She took his hand again. Loki looked at the small pink adhesive bandages the Midgardians used that smattered her shoulders. ‘Are there many more than those I can see?’ ‘How many can you see?’ ‘Five.’ ‘Six more, I think.’ ‘Then my lie to give a valid excuse not to spar stands. I would see your wounds, as my priority.’ ‘They’re fine, the label was just catching.’ She argued, really not wanting a big deal made out of such a small thing. ‘All the same, I ask that you indulge me in this.’ ‘Will it get you back to what we’re meant to be doing?’ ‘If I know you are truly well I will be less distracted.’ He stopped at their door, produced the keycard and swiped them in. ‘Take a seat upon the couch, dove, I’ll be with you in a moment.’ Maia took off the hoodie and threw it on the chair before sitting down and moments later Loki came from the kitchen with a small bowl of salt water and cloth, setting them down on the coffee table before sitting beside her. ‘May I remove your bandages?’ ‘They’re all clean and sterile. You don’t need to.’ ‘I want to.’ He kissed her cheek then made her turn on the couch so he could see her back. He swept her hair over her shoulder and she suppressed a shiver when his fingers brushed her skin. ‘Just rip them off fast.’ She told him and he pulled off the first one. ‘I cannot do that again. It’s brutal.’ ‘It’s fine.’ ‘It really is not.’ He brushed his hand over those visible and they disintegrated. ‘This is much kinder on your delicate flesh.’ ‘A little overkill just for bandaids.’ She finally let the shiver run through her at the power dancing over her. ‘Not at all. Where are the rest?’ ‘Uh…’ She paused, remembering one important thing she hadn’t had the chance to rectify since waking. ‘They’re, um, lower.’ ‘And you are rewarding me with a full body blush because?’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘Because I never got around to putting on a bra.’ Loki fought the smile on his lips, both at her shyness and the thought that only this thin piece of cloth lay between them. ‘I shall just raise it as far as you are comfortable, but please, let me finish.’ She sighed, more at herself than anything else. ‘I guess, since you asked so nicely.’ He carefully raised the vest until the rest of the bandages were exposed then passed a hand over those too. She was correct; the wounds were not bad, but they marred her pale skin and he didn’t like that. ‘Can you raise it enough that I can see all the wounds?’ ‘I think so.’ She pulled the vest up and over her shoulders but kept one arm over her breasts, holding the material in place. ‘Perfect, love. Just stay still.’ He put a hand on either shoulder then lowered his head and gently kissed the small cut on her upper spine and she gasped as magic flowed from him and into her. After a moment he drew back. Her skin was completely repaired. ‘Ten more.’ He said as he slipped off the couch and onto his knees, his hands stabling himself at her waist and thigh. His lips touched the lower wounds and she bit her own to stop the groan that tried to escape. His kisses continued over her back, her breathing increasing with each touch as he made his way back onto the couch and the final cut on her upper right shoulder. As he finished she turned to face him, his eyes opening as he raised his head. He froze as his gaze met hers, her lips parted invitingly. He had a moment of decision, his hands on her flesh, her lips so close, but she took it from him, leaning until her back touched his chest and kissing him. The kiss was slow yet deep and had Maia’s stomach and lower things dancing with excitement as she reached up to cup his head, his arms curving around her waist, pulling her back into his lap. He dipped her back in his arms enough to get a better angle for them both and the groan she had suppressed finally purred through her throat. His hands slowly caressed her ribcage, his thumb brushing the exposed underside of her breast and her hand convulsed in his hair at the surprising yet welcome contact. She arched against his touch, deepening the kiss, and it was all Loki could do not to lay her down and rush into this, but he had meant what he said about taking his time, and she deserved far better than on a couch. He scooped her up in his arms as he stood, breaking the kiss. ‘We still have not examined the bedroom.’ ‘We should.’ She said breathily. ‘Thoroughly.’ He kissed her again briefly before making his way across the room to the thus far unopened door, pushing the handle down and stepping inside. There was ample furniture in the large room but the enormous pine four poster with white sheets and matching curtains drew both of their gazes. ‘Oh, this will suffice.’ Loki walked to the bed and laid her in the centre, her head in the pillows, as he climbed onto the bed, the outer most layers of his armour disappearing, leaving painted on leather pants and a black linen undershirt. He maintained eye contact with her, the heat in his eyes almost tangible. ‘I should…’ Maia reached for the vest, but his hand caught her wrist lightly and a smile spread across his face. ‘May I?’ She nodded and he released her, swinging one of his legs over her knees to straddle her. His fingertips gently touched either side of her belly button and traced slowly to her waist, her breath catching as his palms flattened against her freckled skin. Loki noted her every reaction; the way her skin fluttered involuntarily under his touch, then the way her lips trembled slightly with each breath, her blue eyes intent on his face. His fingers spanned her back to almost touch her spine and he encouraged her to sit up. He trailed his touch up her back as she lost her initial shyness, pressing hands to his hips and slipping them up and under his tunic. She ducked her head as he pushed the vest up and off before splaying his hands fully on her back, resting his forehead on her hair.   ‘Equals, love, remember?’ He raised his head as she tilted hers to look at him. ‘Equals?’ ‘You and I. Equals.’ She still continued to look at him in puzzlement. ‘My shirt, pet?’ He prompted with an amused look. ‘Oh!’ She laughed in realisation. ‘Sorry.’ Her helped her draw the tunic off him and her hands were on his back again as he threw it from the bed, her eyes trailing over his sculpted torso to his face. ‘You know, for a frost giant, you’re pretty hot.’ He leant into her, making her lay down. ‘That’s funny, I was just thinking for a Midgardian I am not entirely certain you are not a goddess.’ ‘God of Lies.’ ‘Not with you, sweet.’ ‘Promise?’ ‘My word.’ He whispered against her lips. The kiss was brief but thorough and he trailed it across her cheek to her jaw. Maia’s fingers convulsed on Loki’s back, the firm muscles barely giving as his hands roamed over her flesh, his mouth biting, licking and kissing his way over her skin, exploring every single inch of her. Loki remembered what had had her elicit the most responses and called on them, making additional notes as he explored new territory, listening for every murmur and hitch in her breath as he tested each curve of her body. He made his way across her collarbone then in a straight line up her throat to her chin where he leaned back enough to look down at her face. Her eyes fluttered open to find him looking at her intently. ‘What?’ She whispered with a faint smile. He narrowed his eyes for a moment, the part of him that had been betrayed and used needing the last reassurance from her. ‘Truly mine?’ She brought her hand up and cupped his cheek, licking her lips before smiling at him. ‘Truly yours.’ He closed his eyes and let out a relieved sigh, dropping his forehead to rest on her temple. Maia leant her face towards his and kissed his cheek, her fingers threading into his hair and turning him to face her. She kissed his lips, softly tasting him, drawing his bottom lip between hers before brushing it with the barest of touches with her tongue. Such a willing yet simple gesture had Loki growl and he pushed at their joined lips until she released him, his tongue plunging into her mouth as he made their remaining clothes vanish with a thought. Maia let out a whimper as she felt Loki fall free against her, long, proud and firm as he shifted one knee to nestle between hers. Now she had the extra movement she raised her leg over his hip and his heart stepped up a gear. It was all he could do not to rush ahead of himself and take her right now, but instead he reached his hand to her calf and traced a path up and over her hip to her waist, then ribs, until finally his thumb traced the underside of her breast, making her press against him and he shifted his weight so he could touch her fully, his thumb grazing her nipple, faintly at first, then palming her breast with more fervour. Her response was immediate, a small cry emitting from her throat as she arched her back, the heat already pooled between her thighs increasing in a way she hadn’t felt in a long time. She pulled back from the kiss just far enough to speak, her voice strained with need. ‘Please, Loki.’ ‘Please what, love?’ He asked as he nuzzled his way from her cheek to her jaw. ‘I want you.’ She moaned as he nipped at her pulse. ‘And have me you shall, but not yet.’ ‘Spoilsport.’ She whispered as he began to kiss his way down her throat. ‘Oh no, dear heart, you are the one who is about to be spoilt.’ He promised as he moved down her body, lips teasing as he went.   Maia’s nails convulsed in Loki’s shoulders as his tongue danced over her breast, drawing her nipple to a taut peak before sealing his mouth around it, sucking gently with the slightest pressure of teeth. Loki noted her pleasured murmur as his other hand travelled over her hip then thigh, hooking it behind her knee and settling her foot on the bed, giving him the room to run his hand over the inside of her thigh, her skin quivering as her hips twitched. Loki marvelled at her reactions as he kissed across to the other soft mound, where he lavished the same attention as the first, his fingers playing over her thighs, deliberately not touching anything more sensitive. Maia bit her lip as Loki kissed over her ribs, his body sliding down hers as his fingers tripped over her, featherlight and teasing, the ghost of a touch to come. His lips passed her abdomen as his fingers finally slid solidly over her, spreading the wetness she had already gathered to roll over her most sensitive spot. Maia let out a cry that ended in the phrase; ‘Ohhhh my God!’ Loki looked up her body with a dark smile, her head was thrown back, hands pressed into his shoulders. ‘Mmm, exactly.’ He purred before dipping his head and replacing his fingers with his lips and tongue. Maia drew a shaky breath as Loki’s mouth worked her to the edge rapidly, her nails dragging at his skin as her hips flexed, held in place by his strong arm on her pelvis. The coil inside her snapped and as she began to cry out Loki plunged two fingers inside her, her back bowing off the bed as the cry turned into a scream. Loki worked her through the tumultuous throes with his lips but his fingers didn’t stop and as he added a third digit her hand flew above her head, grasping at the pillows as another wave took her before the first had subsided. Maia shook all over and Loki raised his head to watch her as she came down, unable to stop the chuckle that escaped his lips as he slowly drew his fingers from her. Maia swallowed heavily and glanced down as Loki crawled up her body, his eyes dark, lips smiling. ‘You are the most adorable thing when you come undone.’ ‘You killed me.’ She breathed as she wrapped trembling arms around him. ‘That’s it, I’m dead.’ ‘Oh dearest, I promise you,’ he kissed her, ‘you are only just learning the meaning of pleasure, and I intend on teaching you everything I can.’ He nestled himself between her bent legs, nudging at her entrance as he kissed softly beside her lips. ‘You should be illegal.’ She whispered as she nuzzled at his cheek. ‘Would you have me outlawed, my sweet Maia?’ He paused and she shook her head. ‘Only for other people.’ ‘Mmm.’ He hummed against her skin and carefully edged himself inside her. ‘I am not the only possessive one.’ He growled as she pulled her knee up to rest over his hip. She pressed her lips to his. ‘Mine.’ She murmured and it was too much for him. He snapped his hips up, filling her with a deep throb of pleasurable pain, and she gasped, pulling him in tight to her with her arms and thighs, pelvis tilting to meet him. ‘So very yours.’ He wrapped an arm around her waist, keeping her tilted into him as he slowly drew himself out of her. He began a rhythm, gentle yet deep, allowing her to become accustomed to him as he kissed to her jaw and neck, biting at the juncture of her shoulder until she cried out with the pleasure the combination of his teeth on her flesh as he filled her gave. Loki sucked at her skin, enjoying every sound she made and each physical riposte, as though she responded positively to his every touch. Maia could feel the familiar heat growing inside her again impossibly quickly, Loki’s kiss moving to her collarbone where he left imprints of his teeth along its length as her breath caught in small gasps. Loki’s lips left her skin and he turned them quickly, his hands on her hips to enable them to stay joined, then encouraging her to sit up. The new depth and angle had her throw her head back with a moan and it was only Loki grabbing her hips that prevented her from falling. Her hands grasped at his wrists as she stabilised and looked down at him in awe. His eyelids were hooded and his lips were parted and pink, hair deliciously ruffled, and when he spoke his voice was emotional and tight. ‘Move for me, sweet, let me see you.’ He raised his hips in encouragement and she made a small noise in her throat before rocking her hips back, his hands helping her find a rhythm as his eyes tracked over her, noting every freckle, every mark he had made so far. Maia knew she would have felt shy, were this anyone else, but Loki looked her over with reverence and hunger, which was empowering in itself. He gave small groans that did nothing for the small amount of sanity she had left, and after just minutes she hit her peak again and Loki sat up quickly, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close as her body shook, high keening sounds coming from her as she clung to him. She had to be tiring, he was sure, but he was not quite done with her yet. As her spasms faded he carefully raised her off him and lay her down on her side before pressing himself against her back. He drew her upper leg over his thigh and reentered her almost painfully slowly. She whimpered and he hushed her, letting her know it was alright, knowing it would be from sensory overload, but he could end this for them both in a way that should not exhaust her completely. He kissed softly over her shoulder as he drew himself out until only the tip remained before slowly gliding back in, her walls still clenching from her last orgasm, but it only drew him closer to his own release. One arm held her close while the other petted her skin, incoherent murmurs falling from her lips as he continued his slow pace until he could no longer bear it. Snapping his hips up he slammed into her several times until his body gave, and he moaned what had to be the sweetest absolution he had ever known. He held her close, face buried in her hair as her body convulsed around his, a soft cry escaping from her lips as they shuddered together, breathing heavily. Loki felt complete and spent all at once and he carefully slid free of her, lowering her trembling leg to the bed before gathering her fully in his arms, covering her body with his own almost completely, her back pressed tightly against his chest. They both lay still for some time, waiting for their breathing to even, their hearts hammering rapidly. Maia had never experienced anything like it. Her body shook with the intensity of her beating heart and the exertion of so much pleasure, small aches giving her a delicious reminder of what they had just done, and strangely tears leaked from the corners of her eyes despite the fact she felt tired yet elated. It had been such an intense yet tender experience. Loki stroked damp curls from her cheek and placed butterfly soft kisses on her skin. ‘Can you feel it, love?’ He whispered against her skin. ‘My heart beating for you? For what you do to me?’ Maia couldn’t speak, wasn’t sure she could trust her voice, instead she just nodded. ‘Have I stolen your ability to speak?’ He asked gently and she managed a small laugh before using what little energy she had left to shuffle around onto her back, cup his cheek in her hand and kiss him softly. It was as they parted that Loki noticed the moistness to her eyes. He frowned in concern. ‘Did I hurt you, precious girl? Did I give or take too much?’ She shook her head and swallowed before clearing her throat. ‘You were perfect.’ She whispered with a small, tired smile. ‘It was all perfect.’ He kissed her in gratitude of her words. ‘You are quite sure you are well?’ ‘I’m really good.’ ‘You are exhausted.’ He took in her tired expression. ‘Can you move, dear one?’ ‘How far?’ She really didn’t relish the idea. ‘Just enough to turn back the bed. I would ask no more of you.’ He brushed her nose with his. ‘I think so.’ ‘Wait until I return. We shall do so together.’ He kissed her again and rolled off the bed, standing carefully at the faint trembling through his own limbs. Maia watched him go, enjoying the view before she realised he had red welts over his skin from her nails. She bit her lip. He hadn’t complained, but…the thought brought her back to her clavicle and neck and she reached up to touch them. As though the recognition were the trigger they began to ache as she touched each one, but the ache was a pleasurable reminder, and felt like they would be a dead giveaway as to what they had been doing. Loki came back minutes later with a small tray in his hands, containing bottles of drink, snacks, and a damp cloth. Placing them on the bedside he climbed back onto the bed with the cloth in his hand, tapped at Maia’s thighs with his fingertips as she realised what it was for. ‘You’re so thoughtful.’ She murmured as he carefully wiped her over and she was grateful as she was definitely tender. ‘Has no man ever afforded you such a simple consideration?’ He frowned at her before throwing the cloth in the linen basket across the room. ‘Closest I’ve come to simple consideration after sex is a cuddle.’ She pushed herself up on shaking arms and together they pulled back the sheets and nestled into the pillows. ‘Barbarians.’ He muttered before passing her a bottle of water. ‘Have this and a snack. If you wish we can rest until dinner?’ ‘Are we still going to dinner?’ She asked as she opened the water, took a drink then put it on the cabinet. ‘Anthony does seem to be expecting us. It would be a good opportunity for you to fully replenish your energy, as I intend on stealing it from you again.’ He smiled wickedly and she flushed, the rosy shade a stark contrast to the white sheet tucked to her breasts. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. ‘You offer such responses to the simplest things.’ He turned her face with his fingertips and kissed her softly. ‘If you do not wish to dine with the team do not feel you must. We can dine here.’ ‘If we don’t go Tony might come here to give me phone pointers, although I don’t think I have any clothes with a high enough neckline to be subtle.’ He leaned forward to see the marks he had left, a red welt on her neck and the imprints of his teeth lower down. He could not help but smile. ‘Those are not things to be shy of, kitten, and were I able I would bear the canvas of my back with your marks for all to see. If you wish I can remove them, but your acceptance shows all you are truly mine, and nothing would please me more.’ ‘You and your silvertongue.’ She sighed. ‘That cannot be a complaint.’ He said as his thumb rubbed below her lip. ‘It’s just too good at getting you what you want.’ ‘Still not a complaint.’ ‘Kind of hard to complain when you just repeatedly threw me into complete ecstasy.’ ‘Mmm.’ He hummed, licking his lips. ‘You did appear to enjoy yourself.’ ‘All because of you.’ ‘Oh no, beloved.’ He shook his head before resting his forehead against hers. ‘Equals. We made this magic together with nothing more than our bodies. Do not underestimate the effect you have on me, you are quite intoxicating.’ ‘I’ve never been called intoxicating before.’ She laughed softly. ‘Trust me, dear heart, for me there is no greater drug.’ He said before kissing her, his words meaning more to her than perhaps even he knew.

Chapter 35

[bongbongie-svt-blog]

준 (pt 1)

warnings: none

You snatched Jun’s photocard up without a second thought. Warmth flooded like a hurricane though your fingertips before everything turned pitch black and you felt yourself tumbling through space. You weren’t falling, no, it felt more like you were floating through a void.

You gripped the photocard, terrified.

“Bongbong? Bongbong!” You yelled out. You awaited an answer with bated breath but was returned with nothing.

YOU HAVE SELECTED WEN JUNHUI. ARE YOU SURE?

You looked around frantically for the mechanical voice that announced your selection before you noticed a string of pixelated words, in the familiar shade or rose quartz and serenity, displaying what the robotic voice had said.

YES/NO

Reaching forward, you tapped the pink yes option and the writing shifted to form the words, SVT Love, which you instantly recognized as the title of the game. Ha! So it was working after all. You tapped the start button and the scene shifted again and you gave a shriek as you plummeted fast.

You opened your clenched eyes, seeing yourself in front of a changing room, a black and white frilly outfit in your hands. The photocard was nowhere to be seen.

“Ah! You must be the new worker!” A voice greeted. You glanced over to see a human-like figure. It was obviously a robot, a program of sorts that would guide you through a tutorial, once you listened in on what it said.

“Why don’t you get changed into that basic maid outfit?” It suggested, it’s ivory fingers pointing at the outfit. It itself has completely snow white skin, blank eyes without pupils, black curls with a red maid outfit with pink decoration such as buttons and ribbons streaming from it.

“Wait, where am I?” You asked, unfolding the outfit to reveal a basic black-and-white maid outfit. Oh sweet lord, what was this?

“This is a Maid Cafe! And you’re the new worker!” It announced, before shoving you into the changing room before you could protest. You huffed. You should have known better. Of course an otome game would feature something as ridiculous as this! In all honesty, you knew Jun was flirty and a tad bit narcissistic but you didn’t know he would be into things like this of all the things he could be into.

‘It could be worse, (Y/n), he could be a-,’ your mind whispered before you promptly blocked out your thoughts. Nope, you were not going there.

You hastily tugged at your polka dot thigh highs before standing up and looking in the mirror. It didn’t look, you supposed, but the whole maid thing didn’t thrill you too much. It was garish and you felt like two year old in a silly costume. Sighing, you took the stray white ribbon in the pocket of the frilly dress and tied it around your neck. For good luck.

“Wow! You look awesome!” The program announced, when you strutted out, “You can get money through working with customers and you can buy items and dresses to unlock special bonuses! Your current dress’s bonus states that you’ll get paid a little more than usual! Who knows? Maybe you’ll find love here!”

And you were thrown into the cafe, holding a tray of cookies and juice. You felt like an absolute idiot, forcing a smile onto your face as you smacked down treat after treat on customers’ tables, acting all nice and cutesy. Heck, you even had to contort your voice to make it sound higher.

“Are you having fun?” The program inquired. You snorted, sarcastically replying with a yes as you pocketed the tips.

“Ah, a customer’s here!”

“Great!” You hissed, stomping over and flashing the brightest, most artificial smile you could muster, not properly looking over.

“Hi Master! How’s your day been?” You asked through gritted teeth, approaching the customer before taking a double take. Perfectly soft, slightly swirled hair, beautiful almond eyes, defined cheekbones and jawline that you wanted to kiss…

“J-Junhui?!” You screeched, raising a hand to your surprised face. His eyes widened too.

“Wait… You’re an actual human… Something’s wrong, how are you in here?” He demanded, once he saw you quickly turn into a flustered mess, his hands gripping your shoulders tightly. You noticed a blue text box fly up, pink words typing in what he said with a small bubble showing his name. You winced but answered his question.

“I downloaded a virtual reality otome game and chose you for my route,” you squeaked out. He released your shoulders, his eyes wide in horror as he shook his head.

“You shouldn’t be here. You won’t be able to get out. Can you leave? Because if you can, you need to go and never ever ever come back, you hear?” He demanded before you stopped him.

“Start from the beginning, please. I’m lost as hell and it looks like we’re the only actual humans here,” you interrupted, crossing your arms and shifting your weight from one side to the other. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and exhaled.

“I don’t know what happened, okay? One day, we went to bed, and by we, I mean the other members, and the next thing we know, there’s someone who refers to themself as the Maker there and they tell us we’re trapped in a program. An otome game and the only way to escape… Is if someone comes into the game from the outer world and completes the route. But the twelve members who aren’t chosen will be destroyed once the player completes a route,” he explained. You raised an eyebrow as he explained. This was not what you were expecting.

“We’re programs from real life and the person who’s shoved us in here wants us to die. The system censors us from saying anything vital and it’s insane. And you’ve chosen me, which means…”

“...Everyone else will die if I’m to save you,” you mused, furrowing your eyebrows. That was not good. You had no actual proof of what was going on or even if Jun was actually a human but…

That would explain the hiatus. Whoever it was would take that time and create the game and shove the members into it and then lure others into the game. Which meant...

“The Maker… That doesn’t sound good,” you commented. Jun nodded, rubbing his forehead.

“Look, we need to complete certain actions to fill your Love Meter for this game and complete the route. That’s the only chance we have at meeting the Maker and bargaining for the other members. That’s what they told us, they’ll give whoever’s chosen a chance to meet them if they can complete the game,” he sighed, “And I assume you know what the Love Meter is. You just have to gain affection from me to fill it but that shouldn’t be too hard.”

That thought brought color to your cheeks. Gaining affection from Junhui was at least something you could enjoy here.

“Why don’t you call it a day and come to my place and we can sort things out further. I can tell that you’re a Carat,” he offered, flashing you his winning smile. You could have sworn your heart stopped for a second.

“Not so quickly! You must finish your quota before you can finish the day!” The program yelled, rushing over. The two of you glared at the program but it cruelly grabbed you and whisked you off to work again. - Even in a game, Junhui was stylish. His tan, striped sweater seemed to only enhance how handsome he was up close and the way he subtly flirted with you as you threw a bunch of sweets onto his table drove you up the wall. God, you had to continually remind yourself that he was only acting this way for the game, not because he was actually interested in you.

“You look awfully cute in that outfit, you know,” he commented, that darn smirk playing on his flawless face before he took a sip of his juice. It was like he knew what he was doing to get you all bothered and blushy.

‘It’s for the game, stay calm,’ you reminded yourself again and again, as you wiped down a nearby table.

“The color suits you very nicely,” he purred, batting his eyes playfully when you stood up and looked at him.

“Thank you,” you flatly said, trying to sound as robotic as possible, determined to last in this weird mental competition. You were not going to let Jun sweep you off your feet so easily. You were determined to be much more than some damsel in distress, begging for someone to do all the work for them.

“You’re very welcome,” he returned, licking his lips slowly, “There’s no need to try and keep a straight face. Everyone knows how you feel.”

This cheeky guy…

“Me? I think you’re quite mistaken,” you huffed, adjusting your outfit again, pulling your hair up just the slightest bit. If he could tease you, then so could you. Leaning into him, you took one of your hands and traced the outline of his face. Normally, you wouldn’t have even dreamed of doing this in real life but this was a game meant for you to enjoy, right? And it wasn’t like he was objecting.

He raised an eyebrow, feeling your fingers crawl along his jaw, before breaking out into another smile, “Look at you, checking me out. Aren’t you a little bold?”

“So what if I am?” You replied. You didn’t know how you were managing to say this without crumpling over into a tomato-red mess and dying on the spot. Maybe it was the outfit or the job. Yeah, that had to be it.

You pulled your hands away just as they got to his lips, humming contently as you walked away to another table to wipe it down, leaving him hanging. You gave a small victory smile to yourself, knowing how confused he would be.

“Bad girl.”

You heard this and felt a strong pair of arms wrap around your waist.

“If you’re going to tease me, you might as well finish the job instead of leaving me so unsatisfied,” he whispered, his voice leaving goosebumps all over your skin, “I think your quota is filled, so why don’t we leave now?”

main menu

beginning

ASK BONGBONG

YOU ARE HERE | Part Two