#this is so wordy for no reason
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ldpdluvr · 10 days ago
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i need to let go of the deep-rooted shame/embarrassment that lives inside of me and has intertwined itself with my organs and beating heart and post the yaoi that is in my brain
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starry-bi-sky · 7 months ago
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tales of the passerine - danny fenton being bruce wayne's first kid
okay okay. so this is like a continuation/elaboration of my oneshot/prompt i wrote about the idea that Danny was the first batkid. We have a lot of aus where he joins the family after the rest of the bats do, right? So hey! Lets shake things up a bit. Danny is the first to be adopted by Bruce Wayne.
Danny's parents and unfortunately Jazz die shortly after the events of TUE -- how so? I was gonna say an ecto-filter explosion, that would call back to the TUE explosion and trauma behind that. But lets do something new! Carbon-monoxide poisoning.
It's not too unexpected for something to break in the Fenton house, especially with the Fenton parents' questionable understanding of proper weapon handling and lab safety. The water heater broke from a stray shot by one of the weapons, and was promptly MacGyver'd incorrectly. Danny went to stay with Tucker for a guys' night, and came back to a dead silent house.
(Danny's neighbors got a very unfortunate shock when he ran to the next house over in hysterics.)
There was a lot of shuffling around with CPS, the police. People had to be called in to handle the equipment in the lab, and the GIW was rumoring to show up in aid to clearing the scene. When Danny heard of that, he immediately went and dismantled the ghost portal to the best of his abilities. He burned the physical blueprints of all his parents' inventions, their blueprints on the ghost portal, and their most dangerous weapons were destroyed beyond recognition. Anything to prevent the GIW from getting their hands on his parents' tech.
It opened up another investigation, but he was not under the list of suspects. He was placed in the care of Vlad Masters, where they then went back to the rebuilt castle mansion in Wisconsin. Danny, terrified of the future that has once passed and may do so again, shuts down in his grief. Inadvertently, he ends up somewhat repressing his ghost half. Something Vlad, who is grieving Madeline but relishing in Jack's demise and his custody of Daniel, is not very happy with.
Vlad's... gone into a bit of a mental health spiral. He's becoming increasingly possessive over Daniel, the final remnants of his friends and a liminal being like him. He doesn't like that Danny's repressing his ghost half -- both out of genuine concern as a ghost, but also because of his desire to control Danny and groom him into the perfect son. If you ever had a phase where you read Dark SBI found family fics, first off; me too bro, and second off; those are the vibes I'm thinking of.
Danny's mentally shut down from grief! And fear. He's dropped into a bad depressive state -- paralyzed with grief and the terror of the inevitable. Clockwork saved his parents because he believes in second chances, but what's the point of that when his family ended up dead anyways? Danny doesn't wanna believe that he's destined to become evil, and he's holding out onto that hope, but it's a thin line, and he feels utterly hopeless and trapped. He hasn't used his powers or ghost form since he trashed the lab, and Vlad has alarms set up to prevent him from trying to escape.
He's also unintentionally cut off Sam and Tucker -- both of whom are so scared and concerned for Danny too, and are trying their damndest to reach out to him. He keeps ignoring their texts. Danny basically haunts Vlad's manor. He goes out to eat if he has to, attends parties Vlad drags him to, and stays in his room all day if he can.
At parties, Vlad doesn't allow Danny to leave his side, or really talk to anyone -- not that Danny wants to. A product of Vlad's increasing possessiveness. Well, he almost doesn't let Danny leave his side. Danny has a habit of slipping off to hide somewhere for the parties whenever he can, and Vlad reluctantly allows it so long as he stays alone.
This becomes an advantage when eventually, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after missing for years, and holds a bright charity ball to celebrate the return. Vlad has been chomping at the bits to get his hands on Wayne Industries, and with the return of its owner there is no better opportunity to wipe out his rival. He goes, and he as normal, brings Daniel with him.
Vlad thinks Wayne will bleed his little heart out for Daniel's poor orphan sob story -- he's a fellow orphan himself, after all. He's not wrong; Wayne's little heart will bleed, just not in the way that benefits him.
Bruce sees Vlad and Danny approaching before they're even close enough to introduce themselves - and like with many of the children he will soon come to care for, it's like someone set a mirror into the past right in front of him.
Danny Fenton's suit is tailor-made for him, and despite the fact that it's his perfect size, the sag in his shoulders, the ducked down head, and the way he hunches into himself all pictures the image of a child in shoes too big for him. There's a far away, glazed over look in his eyes and grief marble-cut into the lines of his face. There's not enough makeup in the world that will hide the dark circles under his eyes.
("My nephew, Daniel Fenton." Vlad's hands are possessive on Danny's shoulders. Bruce immediately notices the way the boy tenses under his touch. "His parents passed recently, and as his godfather I was designated his guardian.") ("I'm so sorry, the loss must've been terrible.") ("Yes, carbon-monoxide poisoning caused it. Daniel was out with friends, when he came home... they had already passed.") (Bruce immediately dislikes that Vlad shared the details of their death unprompted -- he likes it even less when Danny flinches at the reminder and hunches into himself.)
Danny runs off at some point earlier into the charity. At this point, parties are still being held at Wayne Manor (because iirc google search mentioned that was a thing at first before it was changed), so he disappears and hides in one of the empty rooms nearby. It just so happens to be the same room Bruce Wayne hides in when he needs a break from all of the socialization.
Thus begins a long, long process of trust. Bruce can't reveal his hand as being smarter than he looks, but he can be compassionate. Kindness needs no measure of intelligence. He keeps Danny company for as long as he can before he runs the risk of being found.
Rinse and repeat. Vlad insistently wants Wayne Industries, and he'll go to as many Wayne parties as he can to get his hooks into the man. The problem is that Bruce Wayne is never alone, and getting him alone is impossible. Finding him too. It's like the man never stops moving. Always talking to someone, always circling somewhere. He orbits around the room as if he isn't the sun of the Gotham Elite's solar system.
Danny's had such repetitive behavior that Vlad never thinks to believe that Bruce Wayne is disappearing to go talk to him. That "Vlad's" son is even interacting with him at all. Danny never gives him a reason to think so, and neither does Bruce.
Danny doesn't actually acknowledge Bruce until a handful of parties in, where he hands Bruce a small slip of paper he smuggled in that says; "don't trust Vlad". Danny's face stays carefully blank, but he's so tense that his hands are trembling, and he's purposely looking away from him. Bruce plasters a smile onto his face, slips the paper into his pocket, and tells him "okay".
(he's been busy with his own goals with the mafia, but he sets aside time to investigate Vlad Masters. He was holding off. Until now.)
Danny does eventually start speaking to Bruce, he's starting to really like the guy. He's starting to see a little hope, even as Vlad is starting to get more and more agitated with him the more he refuses to use his powers.
He reaches out to Sam and Tucker again, and starts trying to reconnect with them. Vlad has spyware on his phone, and he limits the amount of times he can talk to them. A weird parental control lock of some sort that leaves a time limit on how long he can talk to them for. 30 minutes. Danny doesn't tell them anything about Mr. Wayne.
Danny, slowly, wants out of here, and he's slowly gathering the motivation to do it. Vlad is genuinely scaring him -- and Danny wonders just how truthful the past-future Vlad was when he told him that Danny wanted his ghost half separate. He starts trying to come up with an escape plan.
Vlad has anti-ghost wards everywhere around the mansion, and while they're always on, they boost to full power at sunset. The doors and windows are always locked, all main exits have alarms set on them. The only reason it's not super extensive is because Danny hasn't tried leaving at all yet, so Vlad hasn't had to tighten anything.
At night, Vlad locks the door to his room and puts up an anti-ghost ward around the room. The mansion is on the outside westward side of Madison, more entrenched in rural Wisconsin. The closest town is a four-way stop sign with one house on three corners, and an open bar on the fourth. Not much to go.
He refuses to go to Sam and Tucker; Vlad would look there first. It's too dangerous. Vlad would sound alarm bells and have a manhunt looking for him, Danny can't risk going just anywhere. Too much risk of being found, sold out, or caught. There's really nowhere for him to hide.
Until there is. Bruce is telling Danny about the history of Wayne Manor, and says, as casually as saying the weather; "The manor has dozens of empty rooms, I'm sure Alfred wouldn't mind filling another one if he could." And quietly, hesitantly, Bruce places a careful hand on Danny's shoulder, unrestrictive and gentle; "He wouldn't mind getting one ready for you if you need one."
And there it is. There's his out.
Danny, just as quietly, replies; "I'll keep that in mind."
The ball starts rolling.
Now I've been trying to summarize this au as much as possible for length convenience, but Vlad has been steadily growing more and more controlling. More emotionally manipulative. More agitated at Danny for not using his powers.
He wants Wayne Industries under his thumb but he's been steadily growing more and more concerned with Danny. He's started grabbing him, yanking him around, shaking him; trying to goad him into using his powers. He gets angry when Danny doesn't react, or tells him he doesn't want to use his powers. He hasn't outright attacked him, but he's getting there. This has been happening over the time it takes for Bruce to indirectly offer Danny sanctuary at his home.
It all comes to a head when Vlad stops going to parties at all -- something Danny has to pretend he isn't upset about -- because Vlad doesn't want him around other people anymore. Vlad rarely goes now without him, and only leaves to go to a Wayne function or to handle something at VladCo.
Danny can't wait for Vlad to leave long enough to escape. So he leaves during the night of a big storm. Vlad's locked him in his room, but Danny doesn't bother trying to go for it; he goes to the alarmed window instead. Danny's been repressing his ghost half so long that he can't access his powers immediately anymore -- he can feel it, he knows its there, but he can't quite reach it.
He breaks the lock by hand.
Immediately the alarm goes off through the entire castle, filling the room with red, and he scrambles for the rope the Wisconsin Ghost left for him a few months back. Danny's already out and climbing down the side of the castle before Vlad even reaches his door -- the only good thing about the entire room being ghost-proof is that Vlad can't get in that way.
The rope ends before it reaches the bottom, and he's still twenty feet in the air. It won't kill him if he lands it right. Danny takes his chances, and drops. He breaks his ankle, but he survives.
And he fucking books it to the back garden. He hears Vlad shrieking over the thunder and rain.
I'll save the full experience for a future oneshot, but Danny makes it out into the nearby woods and forcibly experiences what it's like to be in a horror game, trying to hide from the thing that's hunting you. There's only one thing going through his mind; "i'm going to die"
I have this mental image for this scene. Very stereotypical horror imo. Where Danny is hiding behind a tree, with a hand over his mouth, and Vlad is a few feet away from him, glowing ominously red through the trees, trying to search for him.
Danny doesn't get away from this unscathed, but he does get away alive. That's all he could ask for. He gets away by getting his ghost half awakened long enough to transform into Phantom and fly to Gotham.
But he gets to Wayne Manor, he gets to Bruce. Or, at least, Alfred answers the door from his insistent pounding. Danny's just in tears and Alfred gets him in the living room, wrapped in a towel, with ice on his swollen leg before he has to step out and alert Bruce.
Bruce already breaks multiple traffic laws on a nightly basis. And that's just with the sheer existence of the batmobile itself, not including the speeding and military artillery attached. He breaks double the amount trying to speed back to the cave and get out of the suit.
Right off the bat: Bruce will know, at least before Dick enters the picture, about danny's powers. He'll figure out something considering the fact that Danny traveled from Wisconsin to New York in a single night. That'll be a bit of complicated affair, but I've already got something in mind.
Actually it'll probably be very soon after Danny joins the family, because Bruce tries to offer to fight for custody for Danny - the state Danny was in at arrival is clear enough evidence for a trial. But Danny immediately shuts it down, says it's not going to work and then Vlad will know Danny's with him and he won't be safe. He tells him that Vlad cannot know Danny was with Bruce.
Danny's biggest regret was not telling his parents he was a halfa, and while he doesn't want to tell mister wayne (yet), he does tell him about Vlad being one. He needs to know why Danny can't be seen with Bruce. So he tells him, and Danny's current plan is to just hide out from Vlad until he turns 18. That way, he has no more legal jurisdiction over him. After that? He's not sure.
And to wrap this up, since this has already gotten very long and I can make more posts about this au later; I've thought about it, and I'm going to say that Danny does become a vigilante before Dick enters the scene. He goes by, as you probably guessed; Nightingale. "Gale" for short.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#tales of the passerine au#i dont want to overemphasize how much vlad sucks but also i dont want to downplay it. but also i didn't wanna make this post too long#i didn't emphasize enough on vlad's possessiveness but i wanted to make this post as general enough as possible for the au.#for some more wiggle room in the future if i make more posts about this au.#the consequences for Danny repressing himself was not a concern i was focused on for the post but i am thinking about it and mulling it ove#i'll be blunt my main specific reason for why this occurs shortly after tue is bc it means dani doesn't exist yet and it means i dont have#to include her in the continuation of this au. i love that girl but she's a dead weight. i dont wanna come up with an elaborate reason as#to why she's not in the picture when i can just say 'she never created in the first place' instead. i don't have anything for her to do#I don't want to risk giving her a poor plot line just so that she exists in au.#sometimes i really hate just how long my posts get. i feel like it kills my engagement. but i also don't want to make posts that have#a part 1 and part 2 just because I think it got too long.#i feel kinda bad for having Danny take the spot of 'first partner' from Dick. But that was part of the reason i was inspired to make this a#i've already got the skeleton of a reasoning for danny becoming a vigilante being made in my head.#He can't go by Phantom since that risks drawing Vlad's attention -- a new vigilante showing up in Gotham. a place the visited frequently#who goes by the name Phantom? He'd be on that faster than chickens on meat. and nightingale has familial meaning behind it due to being#part of an ancestral name. it follows robin's theme of using it to honor his parents while still having its own unique enough lore to stand#on its own without feeling like a cheap copy. plus the bonus meta reason that it follows the bird theme. which personally is vital to me#my other alternative to Nightingale is Sparrow. mostly because it has good phonetic structure for a hero name. not too many syllables#a good balance of consonants and vowels. dont want a hero name with too many syllables or unbalanced consonants. or worse; both.#my reasonings is that hero names should be easy for a civ or teammate to yell while still being understood. max amount of syllables before#it threatens to become too wordy is 3. If it goes over 3 it should have a balanced consonant-vowel ratio. Wonder Woman is a good example#some things got cut here that were in the initial oneshot. like danny giving bruce his physical ghost core and showing up bloody.#the first son au
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bisexualfbiagents · 1 year ago
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You of all people should realize that sometimes motivations for behavior can be more complex and mysterious than tracing them back to one single childhood experience.
THE X FILES GIF MEME [2/9] SCENES from Oubliette (3.08)
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pepperpixel · 5 months ago
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Yadda yadda yadda jinx is generally seen as a loose canon, does whatever she wants type of character, totally unpredictable. When in actuality, up until the last few episodes all of her choices and actions r motivated by wanting to please someone else. Hell. Even in the last couple episodes, the very Last thing we see her doing is ENTIRELY MOTIVATED by devotion and love and grief for silco, she’s taking out her frustration at herself and the world, and also honoring his wishes and dreams. By shooting a fucking bomb at piltover, she’s ensuring his life wasn’t in vain, she’s honoring him. In that moment
Her entire, self!!! is centered around love and loyalty. Is centered around other people, She’s motivated by an insatiable urge to prove herself, to be useful to those she loves, to show that she can help them and be there for them and be WORTHY of there love. That they haven’t made a mistake in loving her. To prove that she can be as pivotal to them as they r for her. She goes to the ends of the fucking earth to do this. And it ends. Terribly.
She puts the people she loves on pedestals and supplicates at there feet, she has no motivations most of the show outside of making the people she loves happy… she yearns for connection and love and safety. For a home that will never leave her behind, or crumble under her feet, (an indestructible home, That she can’t destroy just by being her…)
Which is why.. it’s so. Interesting and intriguing. How now, she has no one on that pedestal to worship, no one to drag sacrifices and offerings to the feet of, no one to spiral around and build herself off of. She is a person so *affected* by her relationships w others, but there is no relationship now, no one is stepping up to the plate to love her. She’s too much. For anyone. The one person who seemed to have unlimited patience for her is dead, because of her. and maybe vi could still love her.. but. She’s already soured that relationship. Already broken that one too. Broken all her favorite toys that made her so happy. That were there for her. And scared all the rest away. (There is a limit to what vi can support and forgive to reconnect w her sister. And I believe terrorism is crossing that limit ghgh)
And maybe, jinx is cutting that part of herself out on purpose. To be stronger, she’s realized she just. Isn’t made for love. That she ruins it all in the end. That it just makes everything worse. Messier. More complicated. She’s better off on her own, but for what PURPOSE! Who will she be now! What choices will she make!?! Almost all of her actions in the show were for others, what is driving her now, now that she has this gaping void at the center of her being. Where love used to be… what kind of person will she become, Without a guide to follow… a sun to orbit around. it’s sad honestly ghghg-!!! like yeah it’s not healthy that she is this way but there’s no THERAPY IN ARCANE. THIS IS THE WAY SHE IS! And now. She’s alone… it’s rough. But also intriguing…!! And I honestly have no clue how she’s gonna act in season 2,,, or what sorta shit she’s gonna get up to. but I’m excited.
#arcane#jinx#arcane jinx#jinx arcane#pepper words#sorry for waxing philosophical about jinx’s mental state I just. WANTED TO#she is so tragic to me…#and I see a lot of myself in her. albeit. like. since there’s no therapy she’s just deteriorated#but. idk. seeing a character like hers portrayed in fiction. and so accurately and like.. painfully#it’s cathartic#??? and I wanted to talk about her lol. leave me alone#ok now I gotta get ready for work lol#sOMEBODY GET THIS GIRL SOME THERAPY#but also DONT. cuz it’s cathartic to see the worst thoughts tendencies and feelings of myself come to life so unapologetically in her#like… it’s. nice to see somebody go apeshit like this. when ur own brain and desire to live a normal happy life prevents u from going#apeshit urself.. jinx is raw and unfiltered pain and misery being taken out on the world and I love that about her… but#I also want her to be happy.. and. I don’t. actually think going apeshit will make her happy… in the end ghghg-#but I will still always support her going apeshit regardless. like u go girl! this might end up fucking u up worse then u already were#but if u wanna do something fucking do it girl! don’t let shit like laws or morals hold u back..#edit: I WANT to edit the bit about supplicatting cuz it was mostly jus me trying to be wordy but.#so I realized I was projecting too hard lol. jinx is willing to snap and go against and put pressure on her fav ppl#mostly for possessive reasons ghgg- but! yeah that parts kinda innacurate for her#other bits of this might be innacurate too! this is just me thinking out loud lol I don’t claim to be a jinx expert.#merely a jinx appreciator…
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titaniumions · 3 months ago
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regarding the story of oliver
so i think oliver fog's anecdote may have unexpectedly become one of my favourites and managed to get me emotionally invested ... so i'd like to talk about a certain aspect of it in more depth
a knight and oliver fog's dynamic definitely was what captivated me the most; through that anecdote we got to watch the progression of the way they interacted with each other, though they may have gotten off on the wrong foot and had a few misunderstandings, they grew to develop true respect for each other, but what makes it unique is the way they BOTH see their respective pasts in each other. it's a mixed bag of memories for them both, yet somehow it ended up becoming a basis for an actually positive bond
oliver already had a rather negative impression of a knight from the start. and the fact that a knight made a joke that directly reminded oliver of his own father--whom oliver wasn't exactly fond of--didn't exactly help make things better between them. however, the experience they had in the forest (which i will touch on more in later paragraphs) certainly improved things, enabling them both to warm up to each other
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY a knight's final gesture toward him, putting his hand on oliver's shoulder to comfort him, is something i find very remarkable, and also symbolic of their development. that was, again, something that directly reminded oliver of his father, but oliver doesn't despise it this time, especially since this happened right after a knight had protected him and given him courage. knight had given oliver a reason to think highly of him. aside from that, he also got oliver to look at life (and death) through a new perspective. a knight could be the more ... positive paternal figure that oliver needed, and with time oliver's perspective on him can definitely shift from "he's just like my father (derogatory)" to "he's just like my father (affectionate)"
now onto a knight's side of things. he never wanted to cause oliver any trouble, and not only felt remorseful, but also had a protective instinct toward him. but most importantly he saw traits of his very own best friend and companion in oliver fog. an interesting but somewhat melancholic basis for a new friendship ...
AND THEN there's the fight scene, the moment where they were surrounded by critters in the forest. while that wasn't exactly something a knight would consider as a severe threat, seeing how swiftly he dealt with it, it sure did serve as a reminder of the roncevaux pass battle where he had died. surrounded by foes, standing side-by-side with an oliver. and again, while this isn't such a severe battle for a knight, to the rather combat-inexperienced oliver fog, this fight could as well have been his "roncevaux pass". there is also the fact that the overwhelming amount of critters reminded oliver of his own fog-related trauma. it's thanks to a knight's steadfastness and combat skills that they ultimately got out of it. a battle that didn't turn out so hopeless this time. a battle in which a knight was able to save someone else
a knight becoming a truly reliable person and offering hope to others, as demonstrated in this anecdote, is a testament to his growth. he was, after all, more reckless and troublesome during his lifetime, but the oliver of a knight's time had helped him grow as a person, and a knight acknowledged this thoroughly. his oliver had always been there for him and acted as his voice of reason, so now it's a knight's turn to be a steadfast and reliable figure to someone else; in this case a younger person to whom he can impart his wisdom and life experiences. in turn, a knight can learn a thing or two from oliver fog as well (and he did!)
i think a knight has become someone whom his oliver would have truly been proud of. there is this statement he made about how oliver will never truly die, which i take to mean as 1) the past oliver's spirit essentially living on through oliver fog and 2) a knight eternally preserving this oliver in his memories all throughout his new life. between the two of them he is the only one who is granted such a chance, after all. death and time may have parted them but memories allow oliver to continue to live on, in a way. either way it's ultimately a nice sentiment, a little bittersweet but a wonderful testament to his appreciation and love for what was once an important part of his past
in conclusion i find them to be an excellent duo. the interaction they had in the anecdote gave them even more depth as characters, as it enabled them to explore the way they think of the past, their personal pasts, and acknowledge the way those pasts define them as they are now. as well as the way they both got to experience something that mirrored both of their respective past experiences, and ended the interaction on a positive note. i am so glad they found each other
P.S.: if oliver fog somehow were to meet the oliver from knight's past, his father figure count would increase by 1. i'm just saying
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musashi · 3 months ago
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i love you people with cluster b disorders. im sorry about the world
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kingofthewilderwest · 1 year ago
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Sometimes speaking to people with opposing viewpoints shouldn't be to change them. That's the mindset of posts I come across online, but I believe that default can breed dangerous narrow-mindedness. Sometimes speaking to people with opposing viewpoints should be to collect data. Sometimes it should be so you're made aware where you have incomplete information. Sometimes the result should be you practice humility, learn how to change your mind, increase your ability to handle and produce nuance, and grow.
Sometimes it should be learning to coexist and grow with people who have different philosophies, and learning they are neither the cardboard cutout villain media makes them out to be, or the more complex villain internet discourse says they are.
You aren't a missionary to those who think differently than you. If you go into every conversation believing you're right, you're never going to grow yourself. Realize the valuable complexity people truly are. Learn to listen and understand.
Anyone who says, "Yeah, except X group of people" isn't going in the direction I want to reflect upon in this microcosm of a thought, and isn't engaging with the meaning and intentions I want to focus on right now. Of course there are "excepts." We wouldn't be wise if we had no "excepts." But when we categorize everyone into "excepts," we run into that dangerous breed of narrow-mindedness.
There is much we can learn about people with challenging perspectives. It's valuable. I encourage you to enter conversations with an open-heart instead of a desire to convert. They are people with knowledge and character, just as you. And you don't know everything - not about them, and not about the world.
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cellsshapedlikestars · 3 months ago
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do you plan out your stories in advanced or do you just start writing and hope for the best? I'm trying to get back into writing but I always end up completely deviating from any plan I made beforehand
My writing process is chaos, anon.
For a tl;dr: I just start writing and hope for the best
For a longer explanation of my process, see below the cut. Also, I feel dumb saying this, but spoilers for my own fics, especially the mysteries (which are better examples for plot planning than my romcoms)
1a) I get an idea, something super basic. Like, "time travel murder mystery" or "Sansa and Jon reluctant roommates". The idea then usually forms into a series of scenes or one particular scene in my head - for example: Sansa is dead, Jon goes to her funeral, later is questioned by police as a suspect, then time travel. Or, Sansa is already having a bad day and arrives at her brother's house only to find he's also letting his friend stay there and they were both unaware & kinda pissed about it, which starts them on the wrong foot as she threatens him with a knife.
1b) OR I watch a piece of media, go "wow they fumbled this great premise hard and I want to fix all the things I didn't like" and then I take the inciting incident and build my own story from there. (See: Doona. Business proposal is different, I actually liked the show, but Jon and Sansa did not fit the main leads' personalities so I had to change everything after the inciting incident. Plus I just find it more fun to come up with my own story than following the source material to a T)
2) this idea does not leave my brain, even if I want it to. I don't think you can force this step, tbh
3) I write a first chapter to get the idea/scene out of my head so I can get back to writing the story I'm already in the middle of. I post the chapter to exorcise it from my mind
4) this does not work
5) People in the comments are excited, which makes me excited! I obsessively think about it until I have a vague idea of how I want the story to go. Usually I have an end goal and some important story beats. Nothing is set in stone, and 99% of the time I don't even bother writing an outline, because I know I won't stick to it. The only "outlines" I make are just a string of ideas in the general order I want them to go in
6) I think of scenes I want, then work backwards to how to connect them
7) when I write a chapter, I know what I want the chapter end to be/the cliffhanger, and I write until I get there. Only once or twice have I had to cut chapters in two, but I try not to do this, even if the chapter ends up being pretty long.
8) sometimes you have to throw away ideas/scenes you thought were set in stone. Sometimes you start writing and those scenes Do Not Work anymore, and that's ok
For example, in mongrel heart, there was supposed to be this big, super dramatic showdown with Ramsay, like this big action movie scene. But when I got there, it felt totally wrong for the vibe of the story, so I went with a more intimate/personal final fight. The scene I had envisioned was totally gone. I had to add Oberyn kind of at the last minute, because I had come up with this elaborate world in the background, and needed to wrap that up.
For you on the run, I wrote the first chapter because "Sansa is kidnapped in a library" would not leave my head. I then posted it and had to scramble to come up with a plot. I knew the why, I knew I wanted it to be for Sansa's own safety, but WHO is out for her? I honestly don't think I decided for certain until she's back in winterfell.
In help me out of the shape I'm in, the bad guy was going to be ol' Bobby B, until I started writing chapter 4 when it switched to Joffrey because I had started fleshing out that case more and liked the horror of it being someone Sansa had "dated" more
Anyway, the gist is, I write as I go, and I go where the story takes me as I write. I'll be completely honest and say that a lot of the time, the excitement in the comments makes me excited to write and fuels my creativity. (this can backfire though. The few bitchy/negative comments on trojan horse kinda ruined the momentum for me on that one, which is why I'm not as actively writing it, despite REALLY liking it and thinking those comments were kinda dumb/narrow minded. And I'm not even talking about the rando anon who seems to have made it their mission to be negative on multiple jonsa fics, those people I don't even take into account. It was the ones from people who CANNOT escape a POV trap and make me so frustrated that I don't want to write anymore lol. I feel like how grrm must feel in these moments). But yes, the basic gist is: chaos and my obsessive brain that needs a creative outlet
I know this method isn't for everyone. I know there are authors out there who write an outline before they ever write a sentence, and they post their first chapter with the chapter count already out, bold and confident in their outline. This is not me. I could never aspire to this level of control
Anon, I hope you keep trying! Write those stories! Be creative! Remember the number one rule of fic: it's FUN, so have fun and write what YOU would want to read!
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lucalicatteart · 1 year ago
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Finally finished my weird hanging painting thing (originally a secondhand partially-done 'paint by numbers' kit that I found at a thrift store and kept to repurpose lol)! Imagery somewhat based in my own worldbuilding projects, and text written in my constructed language for one of my fantasy species, but also vaguely inspired by old tapestries and illuminated manuscripts and etc. I've never been great at neat clean patterning or text, but it looks cool from afar, and I always enjoy making "props" or things that are somewhat like real objects that might could exist in my world. :0
(additional pictures/info under the readmore)
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Here's what it was originally! I probably didn't have to actually have a river running down the middle because it further makes the composition of the whole thing weird (various connected yet separate locations and things happening, instead of one unified event being portrayed), but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to fully cover up the already existing paint that was there.. and I can also kind of justify it by going with a more "all the imagery is just symbolic so it doesn't have to make exact sense" approach lol.. How is one half of the grass green and the other is suddenly snowy? shhhh.. it's not literal.. shhh...
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Made a vague sketch, then painted over it, and then added more distinct lines in black pen. Center image first and border second.
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The very last thing was the text, which actually took forever to translate because my conlang is still only like.. partially done, and some of the grammar is not worked out exactly how I would like it to be, so a few sentences I had to think about for a long time before just going "eh, this is probably not how I would do it if I considered it more, but I'll go with it for now" lol . I also am not entirely satisfied with all of the characters for the writing system, but again, it's good enough for a quick project, it doesn't have to be 100% accurate and perfect because it's a fake language that nobody knows anyway lol.
I thought about breaking down the text and translation here like I have for some of the tidbits of Avirrekava (the language) in things I've posted in the past, but I think it would take too long and is not interesting to anyone but me ghghj, so for the sake of getting the post out quickly, I shall not spend an hour typing All That lol.
The general jist of the writing though is that it's just about the Avirre'thel being cast out from the other elves, after abandoning their magic for immortality as a means to truly attain perfection (an important concept in elven culture), the usual, blah blah blah, but how it's Actually A Good Thing, because the gods are wrong and immortality is Cool actually and they like the shitty frozen lands they were sent to, so it's fine that everyone else is being a Hater about it lol
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Lastly, here's a few photos outside in the sun to TRY and show the gold detailing actually shimmering or showing up! It really doesn't come through in photos, but there's plenty of little golden spots to highlight light or Importance.
Mostly the fire, the pink sparkle that represents magic, the red drop that represents blood, the light behind Inaashi's hands and head (common symbol for the elven religion/one of their main gods, shout out to anyone who read the ancient elven religion post and recognized that lol), the sun, and the symbol for the Avirre'thel/country of Navyete at the very top. I did a few other gold bits, but they're not highlighted because they're Significant, more just that it looked more symmetrical to have some gold on the border too lol.
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Other things of note: The animals are not actually significant to Avirre'thel culture really, I just wanted to put a cat and a bird because I like them lol. (I also wanted to have a few funny looking creatures, as I was slightly trying to go with the 'in some old medieval painting the anatomy and perspective is very weird' vibe, though I think some of the other parts of it look too Normal to pull it off entirely). Same with the four leaf clover, which means nothing in their culture - but these are the only areas where stuff was just added self-indulgently .
Bligabata (giant cabbage that grows along rivers in Navyete) making an appearance! The architecture of the building IS based on actual concepts for ancient elven/older Avirre'thel architecture and metalwork. The Avirre'thel who's turning away from Inaashi/elves/magic and collecting blood, is doing so in a Special Bowl, as is part of their culture (collecting it in the hands, or just in a normal vessel would be disrespectful, they have Specific Bowls which is the only thing blood can be kept in, etc.).
The figure that represents Jhevona (and thus, a closer connection to magic, celestial imagery, etc.) is in weird ugly teal, which is not necessarily a color or design associated with them, as I don't have much common culture (like clothing) worked out for Northern Jhevona (who the avirre'thel would have come into contact with) yet, BUT everyone else is in more Typical colors (a northern elf in green, Inaashi in lavender + white + blue, an Avirre'thel in darker purples and reds).
Some things, like the four figures in the corners, and the two people + fish in the stream, do not currently have a meaning, but in-world they would.. Like, I could make up lore for how they're culturally significant and it would be true because I am god of the world, but I don't have anything currently. But just know.. they DO mean something, I just haven't decided it yet, maybe kind of fill in as I go, come up with a meaning later lol. Probably along the lines of an old myth from the ancient elven religion, a story, etc.
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I don't know, probably other stuff, but that's my Trying To Keep It Short rambling for now lol. I'm just glad I finally finished this! For how vaguely sloppy it is up close (everything being completely freehanded, only used rulers once when doing the initial sketch and lining where the border should be + my hands are shaky + the canvas is bumpy + my handwriting is scratchy and terrible + etc. etc.) it still took a REALLY long time, even when not trying to make it all perfect. Especially if including the text translation + writing, which took like 3+ hours itself.
Maybe all the asymmetry/lack of things being centered is NOT because I was too lazy to measure anything, but is actually because in-universe, it's a practice illustration made by some young apprentice who has to work on little canvases for years before he can be trusted will a full sized mural or tapestry. It's his first week on the job! of course he's uncoordinated! don't laugh at him!!! lol
#worldbuilding#elves#I AM WORKING ON A NEW PAVENTURE POST also !!!! I know I keep being like 'oh I'm going to get back to that! I'll stick to it this time!!'#and then another whole month goes by without me posting a new poll adventure - however - this time I DID fully intend to so#*do another one soon but my beloved beautiful perfect cat unfortunately passed away AND there was a heat#wave ANd I felt sick for a while for unrelated reasons so I just genuinely was not focused on posting online at all#I am trying to get back to it though along with other things hopefully so.#ANYWAY#avirre'thel#irithoas#maybe???? not super relevant to elves but I'll keep it intheir tag anyway also. Just since their lore is so closely tied with avirre'thel s#stuff and they're mentioned in the post. Or the gods are. Inaashi is.#OIGUGUGUGUHH I should have done a tapestry with the FCJhjkING triplets!!!!! Sehalanora Semoniyare and the other one whatever the hell#his name is. ... sehalanora my beloved .. (I'm referencing the ancient elven gods - for those who dont know)#It's funny that I rarely watch tv shows and when I do I rarely if EVER care about characters at all in any capacity#with maybe like a handful of even then extremely minor exceptions so I cannot relate to the concept of like 'having a blorbo' or whatever#but then for my extremely niche worldbuilding content#.. it's like OMG MY FAVORITE character!!! my favorite obscure god from a religion#that I entirely made up myself for a cultural group that I also made up that literally only I and maybe like two other#people who are able to sit through my novel long dry and wordy worldbuilding posts care about!! you all know them DUH!!#even WITHIN modern elven culture in the world at the moment in current day most people do not give a shit about them hghj#BUT .. I should have made a painting of the siblings actually!!! I stand by that!!#I mean I like Inaashi and Nisateyu and everything too. Actually all of them are fine except for Ea'ivuyera I guess. whoever the#like War and Order bootlicker god is basically. and the Evil dumbass one. but all the others are fine. I'm suprised I'm even able to rememb#that many ancient elven goofily long names ghgh.. But I could have maybe made it about the elven gods#The thing is just that.. i Don't have ancient elvish worked out as a language and I knew I wanted to put text on it#so it kind of HAD to be something written/drawn by the Avirre'thel#Knwoledge of the ancient elven gods is still a thing in their culture. But usually more as a joke or just a common fairytale knowledge#sort of thing. not really something to make a painting of. Inaashi is here less because of Inaashi The God being genuinely significant and#and more just she's there to Symbolize the elven religion as a whole. just like all the other figures are mere symbols of things. etc.
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wovenstarlight · 2 months ago
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scratches head how to organize a big ass timeline page when we don't have concrete dates. a table with a new row for each defined day? but we have so few of those… paragraphs are just So Much Text so i'd rather not... bullet point list my best friend is it you again.
but then also format aside it's just "the next day" "the next day" over and over again. there's gotta be a better way to do this. geunseo give me concrete dates
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darsynia · 2 months ago
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Darsy's Cinematic Life
Some of you may know I have a sleep disorder where I wake up in REM and my brain misinterprets my surroundings/I have a heightened sense of reality. Sometimes I'm lucid enough to do things in the time before I'm fully awake
I've written something down while Sleep Disordering twice in all my years of this. In 2008 I wrote a note to 'the people watching me sleep' asking them to go away. Last night I sent two messages to @ronearoundblindly on discord.
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I remember sending the first one. I do not remember sending the second. She is scared of spiders! I'm SO sorry Lexi I... I have no idea what on Earth was going on, there?!
At one point last night I moved the plants in the window as a 'warning' to whatever was threatening me. I remember typing out the first message around this time, lol. I also remember thinking something was going to steal my stuff, so I put my phone, my sleep mask, and a couple of small stuffed animals that live in my bed down my shirt to keep them safe.
I have to conclude that the spiders were going to try to rule the world with them. Thanks to my heroic actions we have all woken in the same world we fell asleep in. You're welcome!
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lucem-stellarum · 1 year ago
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Spoilers for the Summit pt 3, and under the cut for length
Damn, and I was so convinced it was actually Alexis too.
William, this was not the time or method to let Vincent learn about the murkier parts of your morality. You could have explained it when you told him he had to run the Summit alone. You were just worried that Vincent wouldn't play along if he knew, and you know what? You'd have been right. Everyone makes mistakes when parenting, but I love-hate to see it here. I love the repeated emphasis that William does love Vincent, because that makes it hurt even worse. There's a specific kind of pain with the growth and realization that your parents are people, with real flaws and that make real mistakes.
I'm not saying that Vincent is perfect, either. Porter was right that he was sheltered about it, but Vincent let himself be sheltered as well. Sam, Fred, and Bright Eyes (yes their storyline was scrubbed from the official canon, but then why does Sam get to make it personal about Quinn's actions on Halloween in their little extrajudicial confrontation? I'm getting off topic. Anyway) all had terrible experiences with other vamps, Adam was in the same clan and we all know how messed up he was. Vincent himself experienced how easy it is to push humans to a sort of second class citizen where it didn't matter if he hurt them or overrode their boundaries since he could just wipe memories and it was for his own survival. Why wouldn't other vamps develop that same sort of moral numbness to other people's pain and suffering? It only takes one remorseless vampire monarch for every single one of them to have to resort to those tactics to protect their own regardless of their own personal feelings about violence. Sort of the "carry a bigger stick" mentality that's ridiculously difficult to deescalate (and that's with the benefit of having human generational divides. with immortal vampires everything is personal).
I do wish that Lovely got to interject a little bit more about all of this. The Bennetts were mainly killed for their part in the Inversion. The Inversion which, just so it's stated for the official record, had a pretty big impact on our vampire listener character. Porter says to ask the Shaw pack if the Bennetts deserved to die, but Lovely was right there. I'm hoping there's a follow up with them and Vincent afterwards where they get to say their piece to him, and maybe it will help Vincent understand why William decided that they had to die. They might have better luck once the shock has worn off a bit, had time to settle in. In universe it's only been, what, 2-3 hours since the start of the Summit? I'm giving Vincent a lot of grief, but as a character he's a lot closer to the stress of it all both physically and temporally. The Summit is his duty, therefore (if William has taught him anything about taking responsibility) the Bennett's deaths are also his fault because it happened under his supervision when (in his mind) he was supposed to make everyone "play nicely together" for the evening. He didn't stop it, therefore it's his fault, and he's made it very clear how he feels about causing violence/death.
Speaking of Lovely being oddly quiet, there wasn't a whole lot about Sam being mentioned either. Alexis got brought up, because obviously she would when talking about the amoral and bloodthirsty side of the clan. I think Sam's going to be more pragmatic than Vincent is with all of this, but I can't decide how far he's willing to go about it. Thoughts?
Was anyone else inspired or intrigued by Porter saying that "William always does the right thing"? I was listening (with headphones) out in public before driving home, so the exact wording might be different, but that sounds like there's an interesting story there.
I don't want to have the reputation of someone who just hates on Porter, because damn it I ought to like him more. His character hits so many notes that I like to see. Vincent calling him William's weapon and attack dog? I love watching that kind of relationship and devotion. I've shipped it before, and I will again (though I have to say, that would make Porter's relationship with Vincent so much worse. I kinda want to see the trainwreck of the evil step father). His gray morality, his intelligence, his quick wit, his deft manipulation of people? I can enjoy and envy all of it. But damn his hypocrisy, inconsistency, and that fight is just infuriating. "I can't hold it against you that you act sheltered because you've been sheltered your whole afterlife". Bullshit, Porter, you absolutely did blame Vincent for being sheltered and that's one of the reasons you got in that fight with Vincent in the first place. Porter might not be actively lying to us here, but he's certainly not being truthful. I've already gone through and found quotes to prove it before here. Adding on to the linked post, the way Vincent and Porter are talking to discuss Porter's joining of the clan and how William treated him sounds a whole heck of a lot like Porter joined the Solaires before Vincent did, which only further supports my points there. Ughhh I was in the middle of researching for a different analysis post for other characters; I don't want to be distracted by writing up what I think their fight should have been about. It's almost worse that I don't like him because I keep thinking about how much I should like him and what it would take for me to support him wholeheartedly, flaws and all.
To cap it all off, this subplot has been wonderful so far. I'm happy that someone spelled out all the dirty little secrets for Vincent/Lovely/Us, because my head was starting to spin keeping everything straight and digging up the tiniest insinuations and turning into the Pepe Silvia meme. I know it's not over yet, but I think the evening is starting to wind down for the characters and I'm so glad that it is because the stress and intensity of it all is killing me. I know that this is probably the starting point for more developments later (what is Sweetheart gonna do after all of this in their official department capacity? is any of this going to put David in a rough spot politically? though Sam and Darlin ran into Alexis they didn't really get the chance to weigh in on the whole, y'know, state-sanctioned double murder? where are we going with that little teaser about Quinn having friends in high places? where's Treasure in all of this? Porter's ominous words about Close Knit planning another Inversion-level event??) I'm hoping there's gonna be a bit of a breather. Kudos Mr. Redacted, and thank you.
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rubberduckyrye · 2 months ago
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I am SO worried that AWBHT is already too big, it's just so Many Words, what if it's too many words--
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arl-the-beloved · 1 year ago
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I feel like people dont give Kaito enough credit for his acting, like that man (boy?) can replicate voices, body language, and even goes as far as to remember things that wouldnt even be needed for someone he would be for less than five minutes. He commits to the bit and i respect that
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sunfoxfic · 3 months ago
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please tell me I have some writing studies followers who will find this as funny as I do
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wolfisland · 5 months ago
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rambling again
i rb'ed that poll a bit ago asking about if people cried when they moved and its like man i havent stopped crying. for a million different reasons. no one fucking tells you how hard your 20s are and how much shit you just have to swallow to survive. how bad you end up just craving a soft bed and your childhood pet. like these weird anchors to a reality you disconnected yourself from for your own fucking sanity. the idea that by the end of this week ill be out of this fucking apartment and sleeping in my old room and thats the BETTER ending right now is like insane to me.
i have not stopped fucking crying and i dont even know what emotion im crying over. im just crying. im just tired. the same way toddlers just sob because theyre so tired but theyre not even sure how to rest yet. i fell off the grid last year because i was working myself half to death. i havent had a guilt free sleep in like two years. i mean it when i say running on empty. dead tired. achingly fucking exhausted down to my very genetic makeup.
and theres other issues, further along, stuff to sort out. but first i can just allow myself to fucking rest for a bit, once this is done. i dont think ive ever been this tired in my fucking life. not that i feel totally confident in my ability to remember anything pre 2022
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