#this is so scuffed lmao its obvious i havent gotten any sleep

[bl-inkstone]

a short blurb about meitham inspired by @zhongrin's ebg + afterparty events! this isn't super long or detailed or anything since it's already been a few days since the idea first came to me, but i hope you enjoy it anyway <3

"haitham, do you think other worlds exist?"

alhaitham blinks once, twice, before lifting his eyes from the book he had been reading to look at you. you're a dream lying on his chaise, with your hair loose and freshly washed, slowly drying in the evening light. he notes the subtle droop in your eyes and the heavy tilt of your head, the way you seem to melt into the scrolled arm of the sofa. you're tired, but it's barely a quarter past seven. neither of you have even eaten yet. did you overwork yourself again?

"well," he begins with a card of his fingers through your hair, gently detangling the strands as he works to gather his thoughts. "given the nature of the world we live in, ignoring the possibility of such an existence would be foolish. i'm hard pressed to say yes to something i haven't seen with my own eyes, but the idea isn't something i'd completely disregard. does that answer your question, mei?"

in lieu of a coherent response, you give him an affirmative hum and close your eyes to the soothing motions of his fingers running through your hair. unease settles in alhaitham's gut the longer the silence between you, something normally so comforting, goes on and he feels compelled to continue the conversation. as loathe as he is to disturb your rest, something in the back of his mind urges him to keep you talking, to keep you awake.

"love," he calls right as he stops playing with your hair. he sits up properly and plants both feet on the ground to pull you up from your rest on the chaise's arm, settling you into an upright position at his side. his arm snakes around your waist and pulls you closer to him, like a subconscious effort at seeking comfort at the uncomfortable feelings rising from the base of his spine, and he leans down to nudge you awake. when your eyes flutter open and you grumble in soft protest, the muted worry subsides just a little.

"mei, it's too early for you to sleep. our dinner hasn't even finished cooking yet. it's not good to rest on an empty stomach," he explains with some force behind his voice in an effort to keep you awake. he considers pinching you a little before completely ignoring the idea in favor of something else. "do you want some coffee? maintaining a healthy work-life balance is essential to a comfortable life, love. if your work is proving to be too much, i am more than willing to—"

"i think... i think i want to travel. to those other worlds, i mean. i think it will be fun."

alhaitham's jaw snaps shut.

once again, that damned silence returns and he finds himself at war with worry and fear. why are you talking like this? what do you mean you want to travel to another world? is this one not enough? is he not enough? wasn't your question just a hypothetical, just one of the many you like to throw his way?

where is this all coming from, and why does he feel so cold?

"mei," and it's all he can say, all he can do, to hold you and beg in a way that's not begging. "mei, my love, i don't... i don't mind if you want to travel."

the words taste like poison in his mouth, thick and bitter and so so unpleasant that he can't help the displeased twitch of his lips once he grinds the last syllable out.

"i'd never cage or chain you down," he soothes when your brows furrow at his words, "if you wish to see new sights and learn new things, then by all means, go ahead. i'll arrange for any preparations you need, and you know my mora is yours to use. all i ask is that you take me with you."

don't go where i cannot follow, alhaitham pleads with words unsaid, orange-teal eyes blurring at the edges with strange black lines. don't leave me without your warmth.

you don't reply, and a numbing cold trickles down the acting grand sage's spine when he realizes that you've fallen asleep. he feels the beginnings of a headache coming on, quiet whispers and flashes of colors he can't decipher slowly growing in volume past the deafening beat of his heart. he's only ever felt this a handful of times before in his life, but never to this degree.

you're sleeping. just sleeping, as you do every night in the comfort of his arms.

so why does he feel like his heart has turned to sand slipping through your loose fingers?