#this is so funny when you consider that akechi is also supposed to be a parallel to Rumi

[afterthelambs]

I was explaining shuake third semester to my sister and she goes "Oh so it's like Inception except instead of the dead wife convincing Leo di Caprio to stay in the dream world, it's this dead anime guy convincing Joker to leave the dream world" and i felt like i got hit by a truck. She has never played persona and does not know these characters. And yet here she is comparing them to a canon husband and wife :') shuake so real

[doodleodds]

I really, really, REALLY love your train!palace AU.

I was just curious if you have any other HCs for potential palaces — for either Akechi or Akira.

You don’t have to do any drawings or anything, I just loved reading about all your little details for the train AU and I’m starving for more haha

Ah thank you! I’m really glad you liked it!!! ^u^ I don’t really have any other hcs that i’m planning to draw (as of right now anyway B) ), but I did have an Akira palace concept a while ago that I’ll talk about below the cut if you’re interested! :)

(its kind of long cause once I started typing I just started rambling, so be warned)

Thanks for the ‘you dont have to draw anything’ by the way, lol xD There’s 1 drawing cause I couldn’t help myself though ;P

So, I dont know if it’ll be what you were hoping for, but a while ago i was thinking about an Akira palace about feeling overwhelmed that’s maybe called “Balancing Act” (i was thinking about calling it like. ‘tilting tower’ or something cause I think ‘tilting tower toppled’ would be a funny achievement to get once you beat it, but that just sounds too much like the fortnite thing and i cant handle that lmao), which the thieves (sans akechi- this will be explained later) probably realize exists somewhere around the end of sae’s palace.

Since the palace isn’t really akira’s distortion of a place so much as it is his distortion of what’s expected of him, his keywords could probably be something like “everyone’s happiness” and “his responsibility”? And I guess the location could just be leblanc since that’s where he lives?? I haven’t really. thought this part out too heavily lol ^^; feel free to interpret it as you’d like.

It’s probably been done before, but the whole thing is based around the idea of akira's shadow manifesting as atlas, but instead of holding up the weight of the sky, he’s holding the growing weight of people’s expectations. So, the palace itself is....you guessed it.....a tilting building! wow! It’s only not completely falling over because akira’s holding it up from the foundation, since it’s full of people he’s afraid to let down :)

sort of like that. it doesn’t have to be an apartment building, obviously. In all honesty what’s in my head is just like. a giant white cube. cause i really don’t know what “feeling responsible for other people’s continued happiness” would manifest as aside from something that could maybe hold cognitions of said people, so please accept the apartment building for now lmao (again feel free to interpret as you like)! And his outfit is definitely subject to change, i just stuck him in the first thing that came to mind xD

“BUT SOPHIA,” i hear you asking, “IF AKIRA’S RIGHT THERE, CAN’T THE PT JUST FIGHT HIM AND TAKE HIS TREASURE REALLY QUICKLY?” NO, you fool!! He’s holding up the weight of the world! does it LOOK like he’s got time to fight, let alone know where the hell his treasure is?? It being Akira’s palace, of course he cuts a deal with them- find his treasure and they can just keep it since it’ll be a weight off his mind (literally), in exchange for someone bearing the building for just a few minutes so he can have a break before they actually leave with the treasure. The thieves agree to this and eventually head into the building he’s holding up (i thought the thieves stealing his treasure literally adding weight to his mind/being another burden he has to shoulder was a funny concept here), and begin searching.

pretty much at this point I just figured the goal would be scaling the building, since the treasure is most likely at the top? (cause i mean honestly speaking if it’s not with akira, where else would it be. just finding it sitting in the middle of the fifth floor seems anti-climactic). As they ascend, they realize everything is in perfect equilibrium, perfectly balanced on both sides of the building so it helps it not topple. E.g., on one floor one side of the hall has a ryuji cognition while the other has an ann cognition, or something to that effect.

Earlier I mentioned the thieves sans akechi finding out about this palace late into the infiltration of sae’s because if the thieves were to discover akira had a palace, i doubt they’d tell akechi when they know he’s going to betray them and wouldn’t want him to purposefully muck up their infiltration. I also thought it would be interesting to see an akechi cognition in the palace, and maybe have it purposefully doing something to throw akira off balance (a consequence of him knowing about the assassination plot, explaining why it would be late in sae’s palace)? my initial thought was literally something like ‘the thieves walk into a room just in time to see the akechi cognition step off the edge of the balcony and un-balance the building, causing the gimmick of the palace to become having to leave a party member behind to keep it balanced every time something throws it off-balance on their way to reach the top’ or something. but idk! that seems a little extreme and i didn’t really put any thought into how they’d get back down afterward, so. just consider there being a trouble-maker akechi cognition, lol. ^^;

anyway! they reach the top eventually, the treasure’s there. hooray! they head back down to send the calling card. I genuinely don’t know whether akira knows about his palace or not in this au or whether he even wants the pt to steal his heart, but. He gets a calling card none-the-less, since whatever is causing his distortion is harmful to him and his friends want to help him. And I don’t feel like exploring the potential consequences of it being his choice or not rn >o>

So the pt go back in to steal the treasure! And it goes really easily. in and out! but before they can leave, Akira’s shadow asks them to uphold their part of the deal- someone take the weight of the palace for him for a minute so he can know what it’s like to exist without the weight of that on his shoulders for a minute before he disappears. Now...if you know anything about atlas’ encounter with heracles, you know that he tries to trick him into holding up the sky indefinitely. WELL! guess what happens when one of the pt takes up his mantle under the building. Akira’s like “oh gee, thank you! you’re a great friend.” and then yoinks his treasure from the others and tells them they’re going to have to try to take it from him. he’s got people relying on him, and he needs this in order to keep them happy!!

the supposed gimmick of the palace continues, in that the PT are always one party member down during the boss fight (maybe you can switch out whose holding it? i don’t see why you couldn’t, so long as someone always is).

This is where my planning on the palace kind of ends, because I’m not sure what akira’s shadow turns into during the bossfight. Back when i first got into p5 vanilla, i didn’t have a whole palace au but i had a kinda melancholy akira shadow encounter thought out, where when his friends ask why he hasn’t transformed into a monster during his boss fight he says something like “i’ve got a palace. i’m already a monster, aren’t I?” or something to that effect. so, that’s an option, but it sort of doesn’t fit the vibe so... idk! again feel free to interpret it as you will lmao.

When they do defeat him and get his treasure back, he tells them to get out of the palace before it collapses and takes the (now probably crumbling) building from whoever’s currently holding it. The thieves feel bad leaving him there, and he tries to convince them that he’s heading back to his real self in a few moments so they shouldn’t worry, but they all band together for a hot minute and help him hold up the palace even as it collapses, and it’s like. a show of solidarity? Like a “you can call on us if you need help” kinda thing? and they’re with him till he disappears and they escape.

Not sure what happens when they get back to the real world or what akira’s treasure turns out to be (i’ve seen other aus where its his probation notebook so. maybe that?), but thats it!

...yep. i’m not as attached to it as the train one (cause its not got goro in it lmao), but! that’s what i got. :>

thanks for asking though, anon! I hope that was what you were looking for!

[kekisu]

TOP 5 CHARAS AND 5 REASONS WHY YOU LIKE THEM GO GO GO

AHHHH OKAY OKAY. I LITERALLY LIT UP WHEN I SAW THIS IN MY INBOX YOU HAVE NOOOO IDEA THANK YOU SO MUCH ah okay. i hope its ok if i leave it to just one or two of my fav things about them though cause NFHBGDF I DONT WANT THIS TO BE MILES LONG i hope you understand!!!!!

1. LIGHT YAGAMI

now. i dont think anybodys surprised. MFKSKFMFMHNGJN honestly, though i dont care about death note much at all anymore, hes like gum stuck to my shoe and i just cannot get him off no matter what i do. i tell myself that i dont give a fuck about anything in death note until i see him on my dash and i go apeshit. hes completely changed me and how i approach analyzing complex characters. i think hes the first character that ive ever actually cared about in that sense? the sense where i look into every detail about him i mean. its really just so fun...

my absolute favorite thing about him... i really love how funny he is. this isnt to say hes a humorous guy im saying hes funny as in he makes such stupid decisions and its hilarious to see him struggle so hard constantly. the entire ending of death note is fucking insane it sends me into laughing fits every time. theres so many funny moments in death note despite it being considered a psychological horror animanga because of him being a genuine fucking idiot 24/7. hes supposed to be a genius but he truly does lack so much self awareness sometimes.

if you wanna know more of my thoughts in depth, i have an analysis of him here that you can check out :) ID LOVE FEEDBACK ON IT so if you disagree with me or have questions etc feel free to shoot an ask and ill try to answer!!!!!

2. GORO AKECHI

god... hes perfect. he and light are on the same level of favoritism for me, dont let the numbers fool you. hes hands down my absolute favorite in persona 5 and it blows my mind knowing that the majority of the fandom feels the exact opposite or are torn over him ITS ALMOST FRUSTRATING because its mostly due to the amount of misinformation/mischaracterization spread about him!!!! but no he just happens to be the best written character in that piece of shit of a game! MFDKDHNGJJ AND PERSONA FANS CANT COMPREHEND GOOD WRITING

my favorite thing about him.. i love how hes written. and i know this sounds really basic and predictable, but its the truth i just really love his growth as a character, especially in royals third semester when he gets a chance to properly shine and oh my god! did he shine! hes literally so perfect in 3rd sem

theres just something so captivating about an angry teenager who truly thinks of his life as worthless and doesnt bother making bonds with others because of it who suddenly finds himself questioning his choices of self isolation when he finally meets a group of people he can resonate with and feel seen by. a group of people who are willing to reach out and listen to him despite his past mistakes. theres just something so perfect about seeing that same angry teenager want to take his life into his own hands and strive to grow... that same angry teenager who didnt value his own life start to see meaning in things because of bonds...

i love goro so so much he makes me so emotional if it isnt obvious enough NGFHGDGBDFH I THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT. i think about him healing so much.

(btw im working on an analysis for him atm thats similar to lights so! stay tuned for that dropping when its done in like a million years NFHFBGFHDBGHF)

3. AKIRA KURUSU

DAMN 2 PERSONA 5 CHARACTERS IN A ROW

OKAY SO i know Technically akira is supposed to be a blank slate silent protagonist but let me tell you THATS SO FAR FROM WHAT HE ACTUALLY IS. IM NEVER FORGIVING ATLUS FOR TRYING TO SHOVE HIM INTO THE SILENT PROTAG BOX AND NOT LETTING HIM BE HIS OWN CHARACTER! BECAUSE HE HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE AMAZINGGGGG ugh sorryfor caps im so fuckng mad MKDFKMGMHMGMG

it really does get on my nerves how because of atlus trying to make him a silent protag, the majority of the p5 fandom sees him as that. blank slate. nothing. when in reality he very much has a ton of spunk and id argue that hes his own character entirely if you just look a little deeper past the surface Like... its not even that hard to see personality in him. beneath the mask is literally his theme song, have you Not seen the lyrics to that? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE ENTIRE THEME OF THE GAME? this little dude is so traumatized and angry at those who wronged him (aka the justice system! shitty adults!) and people have the nerve to say hes the worst persona protagonist? lmfao

my favorite thing about akira is how he looks like a cat and how cocky and annoying he can be.. he is such a jokester hes the absolute dumbest. i enjoy this silly guy. *holds him under the armpits like a longcat*

4. SHIGEO KAGEYAMA

ahhh mob. he makes me do this -> :)

mp100, of course, changed my fucking life. mp100 is the reason i am the way i am and though all the characters are incredibly relatable and memorable and i cherish them so dearly, i, like most people, cherish mob the absolute most. seriously his strength really is incredible and though hes just a fictional character he is so inspiring and i wish to carry as much gentleness in my heart as he does.

im so so proud of him on his development he started off so.. i wouldnt say he was weak, but i would say that he lacked experience. he lived in his own little bubble not knowing what the world was like and throughout the story he grew to learn so much.. he learned to make such. mature decisions at such a young age. hes so so wise. hes so powerful not only because of his psychic powers but because of his compassion for others. he can befriend even the worst of people...

my favorite thing about him is his determination to become the best version of himself he can be. and also his relationship with ritsu (not me, i mean ritsu kageyama <3) i always gravitate towards siblings in fiction because im an only child and well <3 i dont experience that. so i like projecting onto them GHBFBBHFG they care so much for each other.. sniffle sniffle

5. RYO ASUKA

ok im going to be real even though im into devilman i dont have much of a reason to enjoy him this much. i just think hes hilarious and really cool and his satan form gives me gender envy. i love it when he commits random easily avoidable acts of violence for no reason at all its just because he wants to. and thats just fine. i think he can kill people and get away with it because hes ryo asuka. gay rights

[houseisekai]

The House Isekai Power Scale

Since we have pretty much everyone we'll ever have for House Isekai both old and new, I wanted to put in a scale of just how fucking bonkers we get because quite frankly it's ridiculous how unbalanced this is, and what type of characters there are.

And it's also pretty funny seeing the Konosuba gang more powerful than 90% of the list.

- From Tier 6 (Doomguy) to Tier 0 (School-Living Club)

====

Tier explanations/whatnot under the cut, if you even care lol

Tier 0 - The School-Living Club

- Non combatants, and even then, the only fighter is Kurumi since she uses a shovel. Pretty much everyone can destroy them since they're normal students.

- Of everyone in the story, they are the weakest ones.

- Though, their placement in House Isekai was supposed to be their moral compass/support, NEVER combatants.

Tier 1 - The Three Houses/Gen 2 Garreg Mach Students

- Considering most of us have played 3H ourselves, we can gauge pretty well of how powerful they are.

- And the students of Garreg Mach are equivalent to the 3H characters before the timeskip, so powerful but still plenty to learn.

- In terms of which ones more powerful, in House Isekai:

The former Black Eagles became a Special Forces unit are always in active combat behind the scenes, the Blue Lions are currently all Knights and ocassionally seeing battle while overseeing Kingdom territory, and most of the Golden Deer are doing their own thing.

- In other words:

Black Eagles > Blue Lions > Golden Deer > 2nd Gen. Garreg Mach

The best fighters of Tier 1 are Dimitri, Edelgard, Claude, Felix and Helena.

Tier 2 - New and Old Class VII

- Both Class VII's are about the same level.

- Their ARCUS units, advanced weapons, and teamwork give them an edge over the students of Fodlan.

- The best fighters of Tier 2 are Laura, Fie, Kurt, Ash, and Juna.

Tier 3 - Knights of Favonius, Sara/Sharon/Duvalie, Fireteam Alpha-Nine

-The Knights of Favonius have their visions which greatly gives them an advantage in combat, plus being older and far more battle experience.

- Sara was an infamous Jaeger before becoming an instructor, while Sharon and Duvalie were agents of Ouroborus, Sharon being an enforcer.

- Fireteam Alpha-Nine have ODST training and equipment, making them an extremely deadly force to fight against, especially against weapons such as the Spartan Laser.

- The ODST's are at the bottom of Tier 3, but can still hold their own against overwhelming odds, their world and House Isekai's, with Sharon and the Knights being at the top.

- The best fighters of Tier 3 are Diluc, Jean, Venti, Sara, Sharon, Duvalie, and Dutch.

Tier 4 - Persona Users

- All their Persona's give them an overwhelming advantage to decimate their enemies, given that no one really has a counter to Persona's.

- S.E.E.S has the most experienced members that can fight on their own, The Investigation Team are the deadliest when fighting together, Phantom Thieves are unpredictable/the best infiltrators.

- The strongest fighters are Yu, Akira, Aigis, Akechi, Akihiko, Mitsuru, and Naoto.

Tier 5 - Tomb of Nazarick, Konosuba Gang, Raelyn

- This is where the power scaling gets fucking bonkers.

- The Tomb of Nazarick are already insanely powerful as it is, no one in their world or Fodlan could even last more than a minute against the Floor Guardians. Spells, sheer force, politics, mind games, there is nothing that Ainz Ooal Gown does not have to use as a weapon.

- The Konosuba gang individually are dangerous and insanely powerful, Megumin's explosion, Aqua's goddess status, Darkness's durability, and Kazuma's stealth and craftiness. It's just that they're morons is how they're kept in check.

- Raelyn is a Space Marine who has had insane amounts of genetic enhancements, alongside the durability of a Space Marine's armor and the lethality of a Bolter (which uses .75 caliber rounds, explosive bullets the size of a red bull can)

The strongest fighters are Ainz, Albedo, Cocytus, Sebas, Shalltear, Raelyn, and Darkness.

Tier 6 - The Doom Slayer

- This man has ended Heaven and Hell almost singlehandedly.

- He stayed in Hell to punish demons for being too aggressive, and after centuries of getting their ass whooped, had to encase him in stone, and that was their only hope of keeping him contained.

- He has stopped the demonic invasion of Earth at least three times at this point.

- There is nothing that can stop him in any universe due to his sheer rage and brutality.

- He can honestly kill everyone in this list without breaking a sweat, and singlehandedly end Fodlan with just his wristblade and shotgun.

- Doomguy is at the top of the list, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

=====

[mediioxumate]

i was listening to mal blum the other night, and got slammed with the urge to write about the night of the assassination. cw for heavy grief, dysphoria, disordered eating, passive self harm, vomiting, the works. ~2k words.

alternatively titled, goro akechi and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad night.. 

Your body looks to me A way it never has before And is this what's making you so sad, And what you did this for?

Shooting Akira - no - murdering Akira, does not feel like a victory. It doesn’t feel like a step towards his revenge and salvation.

It feels empty and repulsive. It feels like the burn of the acid in his throat as he dry heaves into the shitty toilet in his tiny bathroom in his cramped apartment. Every space is too small - it’s like he can’t get out of the interrogation room. He can’t, he can’t, he can’t. Another violent shudder racks his body as he gags again. 

His hair is stringy with sweat, sticking to his forehead, and the fingers white knuckling the porcelain edge don’t bother to pull it away or back, and he isn’t sure they can. This shouldn’t have been this hard, he’s never been this bad - not even after his first mission for Shido. But killing someone in the metaverse, they just… disappear. Palace rulers and Mementos denizens simply evaporate. Just an hour ago, he’d seen Akira- Kurusu’s eyes go dead, saw the blood drip, drip, drip down his face before his head dropped with a wet thud on the table. 

Fuck. Fuck.

Eventually, he can finally stand on wobbly legs, wandering towards his bedroom and stripping everything from his body. He’s already disposed of his gloves on his way home, for the first time finding them itchy and restrictive and claustrophobic. Now, his palms are littered with indents from the way his nails fiercely dug into them, grounding himself with the sting. 

Akechi means to take a shower. But for the time being, he can’t seem to move back to the bathroom, another wave of nausea passing through him just at the thought. Instead, he turns slowly, cautiously towards the mirror in his room. 

Strange. It’s like looking at a picture - maybe some kind of abstract film. He’s looking through his eyes, but he can’t seem to place the boy in the mirror. Their scars match, and the hair is right enough, he supposes. With his make up sweated off, his complexion is uneven, and the bags under his eyes are so intense they could be some kind of weird fashion trend. The boy looking back at him feels so removed from what he’s crafted and built up. It’s the most intense dysphoria and dysmorphia he’s had since he was still being passed foster home to foster home. This body is not his. It looks different - and yet exactly the same. 

The hand in the reflection mirrors the movements of his own, drawing over the pallid skin of his torso, fingers lingering over the scars on his chest. His posture has deteriorated, hunching as he hopes to curl in, in, inward until he swallows himself whole. 

His hip bones and ribs jut out just slightly, just muscles on bone. It’s laughable. Strip away layer after layer, turn them into walls, and this is what’s left. Some sad excuse for a person. 

His eyes scan the frame in the mirror one more time before he resolves to shower. He needs to turn the stream on as hot as it will go, and scrub every inch of skin until it’s raw. It still won’t be enough - he’s never going to feel clean again and he knows it. How had he ever thought the clip of Okumura kicking it on national television prepared him for murdering Aki- no - Kurusu?

Beaten and broken enough, under the stream his thoughts wander to where he’s been avoiding all night. Akira is the only one who’s… gotten through to him, in so long. Of course he had to go and be the fucking leader of the Phantom Thieves. That really is just the way of Goro’s life, huh? He doesn’t want Akira to be dead, and doesn’t want to have it be at his hand. His apartment feels hollow and empty, and the thoughts he’d had, that maybe one day - one day he could bring A- Kurusu here. 

It was a stupid thought, he knew it was a stupid thought, and yet here he is, skin pink and stinging under the water, body racked with sobs bubbling out of his chest. He doesn’t know how to deal with regret, the new wave of nausea. He’s never questioned himself, ever since he saw the pale, lifeless form of his mother, he’s never questioned his drive to get back at the pitiful man that is his father. It’s always been worth it, always about him, damn whoever gets in his way, damn the collateral damage. Then he’d met Kurusu, and then Sakura-chan and Okumura-san and suddenly, his actions became a painful, stark reality. 

Until then, he’d always considered his targets collateral. Stupid elites and researchers who don’t know how to stay out of the way. Each one just another disposable pawn. But, suddenly, he goes from knowing unsettling details about Wakaba Isshiki’s daughter, to seeing her. Seeing her struggling to acclimate still, but also bouncing back because she has a support system - and the Okumura girl too. 

Goro Akechi thinks he might be fucking jealous. 

Jealous! After all he’s done, and all he’s been through, he’s fucking jealous. 

There’s no surface in the world abrasive enough to scrub himself of these feelings. Instead, in some kind of weird absurdity, he shaves every inch of his body from the neck down, leaving countless slips and nicks in the way. Nothing intentional - never intentional - but certainly not being cautious with his movements by any means. He runs the razor over his skin again and again, until there’s nothing else he could possibly scrape away, even if he wanted to. 

At some point, he realizes the water is running cold. And he’s shivering.

The steam against the cold water is a strange sensation. Some kind of awful, mocking poetry about his life he supposes, meshing things that simply should not be together. Hollow, cracking laughter fills his ears, and belatedly it registers that the sound is coming from him. Perhaps it’s him that’s lost it this time. Wouldn’t that be funny? Maybe one of the little thieves have finally caved, maybe that’s why he’s reacting - he’s been bested by his own trick! That must be it, right? That he’s having some kind of mental shutdown. It’s the only explanation. 

Why is that more comforting to him than accepting that he may have been attached to Kurusu? The thought is jarring, out of left field. He doesn’t need to accept that - doesn’t need to accept anything. Damn it- damn it.

He shuts the water off. 

For a moment, he considers sitting right there on the shower floor, considers sitting on the cold, hard ground until he dries off, dries up, shrivels away. Instead, he steps out of the shower, standing on his sorry excuse for a bath mat that’s just a dish towel, feeling the rivulets of water drip from his hair and travel down his raw, oversensitive skin. What’s your secret, Detective Prince? How do you exfoliate, Akechi? How do you stay so slim? How is your skin so clear? You have such a soft, young face! Do you even wear makeup Akechi?

He towels off. 

One more moment as he considers retching into the toilet again, it’s right there after all. His stomach is still churning despite being as empty as it possibly could be. But he’s exhausted, he doesn’t think he has the energy even for that, though he’s fairly certain sleep will not come either. Not that he deserves it. 

Quietly, he moisturizes his raw skin, despite the sting. Tomorrow, he has another TV appearance, where the capture and suicide of the leader of the Phantom Thieves will have just been announced. And he will make a statement against him, call him a coward. He will flaunt his assumptions about the age of the vigilantes, and he will call the death a cowardly tragedy. Desperately, he works to rebuild that walls that have crumbled tonight. The interviewers will rip him apart without his mask. 

All he can manage to put on are some soft, worn boxers before collapsing into the bed in the corner of his room. 

Idly, he wonders, now that Kurusu is out of the way, when Shido will dispose of him. How. It’s bound to happen, he can only simply hope that he gets there first. But even now, the fire is burning low. He’s tired - so, so fucking tired. This is all that’s been powering him for so long, but after tonight, he doesn’t want to do this anymore. Idly, his fingers trace the scars on his chest again. It feels dirty, and wrong, and attached to Shido. Seems he traded dysphoria for complete alienation from his body. But at least his chest is flat, right? At least his jaw is sharper, his voice deeper, his hips slimmer. At least, at least, at least. 

The affirmations are tired. It gets harder, each day to believe them, to justify any of this. He’s so angry at the world, he’s always been angry, and this has always been the only way. But each stumbling, criminal confession sits heavy on his doubt. And now it’s snapped and collapsing under the weight of Kurusu’s head hitting the metal table. 

His mind wanders, now, to the bruises and cuts on every visible inch of skin. The way Akir- Kurusu flinched when he moved, the hazy look in his eyes, no doubt from the drugs. He hadn’t even said a word, simply stared back at… back at Goro. Looked him in the eyes, lips forming a small, surprised ‘o’ as Akechi tried to monologue, to justify, to convince Kurusu and himself that this was the only way. He hadn’t flinched, hadn’t moved a muscle, even with a gun to his forehead, he’d simply let it happen. 

That brilliant boy, with so much fight in him, had just sat there. Just fucking sat there.

And Akechi, ever weak, almost thought about shooting the handcuffs off instead, defying Shido, taking him into hiding. They weren’t going to examine the body anyway, he could hide Akira at his apartment maybe, maybe he could still switch sides. Maybe it wasn’t too late for him. But as blood pooled around the guard on the floor, there was no coming back from it. He’s a murderer. Plain, clear as day. So he simply did as he was taught, did as he should have. And he shot the leader of the Phantom Thieves. 

Another laugh leaves him, weaker this time, quieter. And before long, the laughter twists and changes over to sobs. They’re rough, and his face feels gaunt and empty, like he’s taken all of the moisture out of it. 

He’s so worthless. He’s always known it, and now he can’t even muster the strength for his one cause, the one thing he’s dedicated himself to. Pathetic. All because of a stupid boy with messy hair, who was never afraid to disagree with him, who made Akechi believe, fleetingly, that he could have better, that there wasn’t just Akechi inside him, but Goro too. Akira with his stupid plush lips, stupid fake glasses, stupid competitive grin, the way he would bump his foot into Goro’s under the table at the jazz club, the way he danced his way into Goro’s life, attached there like a fucking parasite. The way he still invited Goro out, even after he said he hated him. 

And now, Akira is...gone. 

More laughter bubbles up in his chest, but this time he can’t stop. Hysterical laughter and sobs become one in the same, wracking his entire body until sleep finally, finally wins. 

[musaeon]

okay, so. remember how i said i was gonna be working on a post for how p5r was ng+ to akira? well that’s this post. this kinda just started bc it’s basically how i played akira during my p5r playthrough and just. it’s a headcanon i have had since the game released in japan and holy shit it acutally kinda makes sense come me completing the game. (also it’s kinda the basis for the p5r fics i want to write as well so! yeah)

so here’s me rambling about how p5r being ng+ to akira makes a lot of sense and plays too well into how i characterize him! spoilers abound for both vanilla p5 and p5r, also under the cut for well. length and spoilers.

so where do i begin with this post?

i’ve always liked the idea of ng+ runs in general, because while the characters don’t, the player does and it’s just. the best and worst thing because you know what’s coming and the characters don’t so just chef’s kiss angst is good okay! i like the idea of some of the characters figuring out that they’ve lived through these events and have future knowledge and are just like. what can i do with this.

really i think this whole idea started just because of me reading new game + (yes that fanfic. it’s great and i love it) and just. the idea of akira being sent back a year and remembering most of what happened during his stay in tokyo is such a fun idea to play around because? akira knows what is going to happen. how much can he change things to make things better (and not hopefully worse) without getting things too off track that he doesn’t end up with a different ending per say. also there’s a comment on this video that also ended up contributing to this headcanon as well (when akira says ‘this must be how things were supposed to happen...’ since he remembers turning himself in instead of akechi so. he thinks maybe this is how things were supposed to happen before during his first run)

(and as a side note i like the idea of the mcs being able to go back and redo their years as they wanted to but also arriving at the same ending as they did before for whatever reasons. thanks fj for validating me about this thumbs up)

anyways for akira...he doesn’t remember everything perfectly because human memory isn’t perfect but he remembers most of the big events (all the targets, the members of the thieves, the truth about the velvet room/morgana, the truth about the metaverse/mementos, etc...) so he doesn’t have to worry too much about most of those. what does trip akira up, is the appearance of kasumi/sumire and maruki because they weren’t here before. he’s more suspicious of kasumi than maruki for a while tbh, but really, a lot of his focus this time around is trying his damn best to try and save akechi from his fate.

i do headcanon that akira has a lot of regret about not being able to save akechi in vanilla p5, and it’s something that carries over to this headcanon/verse as well. when akira realizes that his bond with akechi is different this time around, he thinks there’s a chance. the more he hangs out with him, the more that he thinks he can change things, that he can save the one person he wasn’t able to save beforehand. so understandable, the confrontation breaks him so much more than it did beforehand, because dammit he knew this was going to happen and he was trying to stop it from happening and he wasn’t able to and he hates that he really wasn’t able to change anything in the end. however akira does end up holding onto the small chance of wanting to hold onto his promise to akechi after rank 8 (and still having his glove helps a lot)

so he’s so relieved seeing akechi show up at christmas eve and while it hurts to see him turn himself in, akira thinks it’s for the better and the fact that he’s alive is enough to make him happy.

and then third semester hits and messes akira up in so many ways it’s not even funny.

third semester messes with akira because a) this didn’t happen before since he turned himself in and not akechi b) everything about this is so wrong (futaba mentioning her mom is the first clue that something’s incredibly wrong, and what everyone else says at the shine just confirms it more for him) and c) no one but him seems to realize this is wrong. when akechi shows up on 1/2 he’s both relived and even more confused at what’s happening. the palace visit helps a lot but it leaves akira feeling conflicted as hell. he agrees with maruki’s ideas but not his methods, and also the fact that none of his friends realize this reality is wrong and they’re happy in this reality makes him feel so bad that he’ll have to take this all away from them in order for them to make things right again. but akira doesn’t want to live in a reality like this, where the things he and his friends went through never happened, living without the dreams and desires they had beforehand. hell, when the thieves are hesitant to target maruki/work with akechi, akira flat out states that he’ll work with him regardless of what the others feel because he trusts akechi (admittedly more than he should despite everything) and agrees that they can’t stay in this reality. they need to get back and since akechi never brought into this reality, he trust him more than the thieves in a way. (note that akira still cares about the thieves a lot and knows what akechi’s done to them, but that this is something they can’t hesitate on. they need all the strength they can get to tackle maruki’s palace and cause him to have a change of heart)

and then the 2/2 conversation comes along and hits akira like a ton of bricks.

the whole time during this run, the only person akira tells that this is a second run is morgana. he doesn’t tell morgana everything, but he tells him this is the second time he’s lived through this year, and that he knows what’s going to happen but doesn’t want things to play out too differently from before. he does mention the differences between this run and the previous one (re: kasumi/sumire + maruki and how his bond with akechi is different this time) but not once does akira verbally admit to wanting to be able to save akechi. he hints to this to morgana, but never outright states it. so the fact that maruki basically outright guessed what akira wished for more than anything without knowing that’s what he wanted...strikes closer to home. because no one else should know that. morgana might have ideas from what akira’s said, but he’s never told anyone how much he wants to save akechi. so the realization of his wish being a part of why akechi’s here (and that the realization of if this reality goes away akechi might be dead for real and akira doesn’t want to lose this) ...hurts a lot. akira breaks basically but he doesn’t fold on agreeing to maruki’s deal. because they have to do this, they’re the only ones that can do this. i have a whole fic i’m writing about this because it’s a very emotional moment for akira especially but really it’s just. a mess of emotions on akira’s part.

and as for everything post palace? well akira isn’t exactly happy about waking up and realizing he’s in juvie but...he trusts that everyone will get him out again. he’s glad for that and when everyone meets to talk about what they’re planning to do...akira’s proud of his friends for making these plans and changes. that what they all went through in maruki’s reality and also over the past year has really helped them all change, and it’s sad they won’t be together, they won’t stop being friends and talking to each other. the thieves mean so much to akira, they’re his best friends and in someways his family. he’d be proud of them regardless of anything. his send off to them from the train while bittersweet, is more sweet this time. they’re all going to work towards the futures they want and earn them on their own merits this time.

akira leaves tokyo this time with a smile and a promise in his heart. because after all this time, he still has akechi’s glove with him. it’s proof of their promise, a chance for a rematch and a chance for a reunion. a chance that akira will hold onto for as long as he has to because that’s just how akira is. and considering what’s happened in the two times he’s lived through this year? akira will believe that it’s a possibility.

THIS GOT TO BE...REALLY LONG (and real rambley haha...) but it’s a headcanon i hold near and dear to me and how i write akira. i won’t force this onto anyone but i will say i am very open to rping this headcanon/verse/idea with anyone that asks for it! to anyone that read all of this i thank you so much and just hope that people like this idea of mine!

[nemirutami]

DUDE HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO THINK THINGS THROUGH SO WELL??? Whenever i come up with a story thing i can never sort things out or how i want them to go or organize things just how do you go about this junk because i live for the set ups you have

Since you seemed to like those AUS, I’ll share a few more that I’ve never talked about! Most will be pegokita bc i’m… predictable. 

Pegokita Ice Skating AU) Akira pairs up with Haru in the couple’s ice skating world cup, and they’ve been a pair for ages now, but once Haru gets injured, Okumura decides to force her to keep participating…. unless, Akira can find someone just as competent to replace her. So… Akira has to go find a skater to take Haru’s place. But since their routine is so… strict? He has to find someone that matches Haru’s height, weight, and stamina. Otherwise, they’d have to change the routine, since Akira has to be able to lift, spin, and skate next to them in that same routine. He’s about to give up when he sees Minato skate on the ice, practicing for the singles tournament. Long story short, Akira mistakes Minato for a girl because of his physique, and Minato is obviously bothered and will now refuse to entertain anything Akira says lol. The only thing that convinces Minato to lend Akira a hand is seeing just how bad off Haru is, and knowing what type of man Okumura is, Minato knows he will force Haru to skate in her condition if they don’t have a replacement. So, Minato agrees. However… there’s a catch. It’s not like Okumura would be ok supporting two dudes on the ice. Which means… that’s right… Minato has to crossdress. Incredible. Cue the frustration of having to dress up like a girl and suddenly developing feelings for your partner with worrying whether or not those feelings would ever be reciprocated because Akira keeps mentioning what a convincing girl he looks like. Minato just assumes Akira sees him as a girl or wishes he was one, which is why he never pursues anything, and Akira assumes something along the same lines. “I forced him into this, kinda. Why would he not hate me?”. Miscommunication…on ice!

RRAU King Akechi) I haven’t talked about this variation of RRAU, but I mentioned a long while back on twitter something like… “What if Akira and Minato were both retainers for a corrupt King”. Now, what if that king was Akechi? It seems like an interesting dynamic between the 3 of them, since both Akechi and Minato would be more law aligned (Messiah, Robin Hood), and Akira would be the rebellious outlier (Satanael). It also means Akira would be the first to raise his gun against Akechi if Akechi actually decided to do something that would put people in danger. Ally with an enemy, kill off prisoners for kicks/to prove a point, anything really. Or, perhaps, even execute Minato for a crime he supposedly committed just because Akechi had to do so in the name of the law. I wholly believe that Minato and Akira would become the closest in this AU, which means Akira would betray Akechi for Minato, but Minato’s alignment would mean Minato would ultimately side with Akechi if they were about to throw down. I don’t think Akechi would have a preference between Akira or Minato, but I do think Akira’s more unpredictable nature (that rebellious side) would pique Akechi’s interest more, and so, he’d favor siding with Akira, perhaps because he knows Minato will ultimately side with him if he says the word. Minato’s predictability would be why Akechi would favor Akira. Siding with Akira wouldn’t ever leave Minato opposed to his choice. So long as the order comes from Akechi, Minato will do it. At least, that’s their dynamic for this setting. I have no real plot, only a stand-off where all 3 of these idiots point guns between each other, and one of them bites a bullet. I have different scenarios for this too, just because it’s fun to think about who would ally with who and who would betray who depending on the context.

Pegokita Minato’s Palace AU) This one is different from the one I drew ages ago (this drawing, Minato’s phantom thief outfit). I have a lot of notes for this one (the whole plot actually, start to finish) but I’ll be…. brief. YES THIS IS BRIEF, I HAVE LIKE 7 PAGES LMFAO. 

Essentially, a palace forms in Minato’s heart from a distorted desire to date Akira. THIS SOUNDS OOC BUT HEAR ME OUT… In his palace, there’s multiple Akiras. They serve different purposes, and they all look completely infatuated with Minato, but Minato is never shown to be affectionate with them. You know how the shadows mistook Ann for her clone in Kamoshida’s palace? The different looking Akiras wouldn’t know Akira was an intruder because he looks just like them. They’d assume he was just walking around doing his job, but Minato (just like Kamoshida) would be able to tell who the real Akira is just by a glance (even if he’s not in his PT’s uniform. Minato wouldn’t consider Akira a threat, so he would never actually look like a target to anyone, kinda like Ann before her awakening). In Kamoshida’s case, the “real” Ann was the one in his cognition, but for Minato, the real Akira is the real Akira that enters the palace. Minato doesn’t actually consider the “clones” Akira. They’re merely… replicas. He explains as much later. However, for the time being, Akira has a crush on Minato, and upon entering Minato’s palace, it’s clear Minato also has an obsession with him. But… you can see where this is going, right? Minato’s feelings aren’t healthy if they’re this distorted. Which means, Akira has to get rid of the distortion. Which means… Minato won’t have feelings for him anymore if he actually follows through, leaving Akira with unrequited love. 

So, what does Akira do? 

Attempt to change Minato’s heart by giving in to his desires. He figures, maybe, just maybe, if he can convince Minato’s shadow/cognitive self that Akira (the real Akira) actually loves him, then maybe the distortion will go away on its own. This leads to Akira staying in his palace for… much longer. Hours. Days, even. All the while, he’s only making Minato more distorted. More clones begin to show up in the palace, and it infuriates Akira because “What am I supposed to do, nothing works, is the only option really to steal his heart?“ but Akira’s the one who’s causing all the clones to appear. You know how in P5 you can OPEN a person’s message, arrive for your date/plans, but still refuse to hang out with them? I assume Akira did this a number of times to Minato, enough for Minato to stop messaging him completely, convinced Akira had gotten bored of him. It also means Akira isn’t able to actually get in touch with Minato in the real world now, since Minato has “shut him off” for his own sake. Any message Akira sends to him like “let’s hang out” will be ignored, since he burned Minato too many times (lmao the arcana reversed). It’s funny how Akira is the reason this palace exists in the first place. Since Akira pretty much maxed Minato’s link and then… prioritized everyone else. Minato’s cognitive self pretty much asks Akira to stay “forever” which… Akira can’t do, of course… can he? He actually considers it. Though, this can’t be allowed. When Akira finally decides he wants to steal Minato’s heart (for the both of them), his PT’s uniform actually starts to show, and he sticks out like a sore thumb among all the other Akira, making him ridiculously easy to spot and capture by ALL THE OTHER CLONES. I guess i’ll leave this au off on the note that once Akira is captured, Minato plans to fuck him to death. Yes, you heard right. Wham, bam, thank you mA’AM.

As for how i come up with aus or ideas, IT’S REALLY HARD TO DESCRIBE, I usually go with “what do i want these two characters to feel in regards to one another with this scene and how will it tie into the plot”, I just write what I find interesting. My own comic works the same way. I’m very simple, if I want to see Akechi stab Minato with a sword I will create a whole scenario around it to make stabby look more fun. I don’t really care about actions as much as I care about the feelings the people behind the actions are experiencing. That’s the real fun part.

I think I have more aus… but here u go. A taste of AUS I haven’t rlly mentioned before.

[auncyen]

Overload, pt 3

"This is just a scene that's already in the game," I said. "You're changing something that bugged you in canon, and now it's Sae talking to Ryuji and Ann instead of Sae talking to Ren, but still, most of what Sae has to say was in canon. How bad can it be?" ...Ha. Ha ha.

Part 1 | Part 2

[aithne]

(Illume) Epilogue: Wear Red When You Bring Me Offerings

Yukiko delivered her child, a healthy son named Ryutaro, on the second of October. Iyotushi Akechi was crowned Emperor on October fifth, 1583.

When the smoke cleared, all of the retinue but Reiko could be healed and returned to life. The spirits were dispersed into the land through Tadaki's tower, and there they reside to this day. After the coronation, the retinue departed for the four corners of Japan, to see if the war-torn land could be salvaged.

The Crane Clan was decimated by the machinations of Arenro, and on Lord Akazawa Tsuneyasu's death in 1585, the Crane was simply folded into the Scorpion, Tomika and Funitsu ruling jointly over the combined clan. The pair stayed married (though why they did so was the wonderment of all who knew them, except Yukiko), and eventually had three children, two boys and a girl. Soshi Tsutsako never married, preferring her shujenja studies to all worldly affairs, so she claimed.

The Crab did survive to rise again, though Hideyoshi did not return to his former position as Clan Lord. Haku's daughter Kita was adopted into the clan and ruled them for forty-four hard years, as the Crab fought to regain even a shadow of its former glory.

Haku married within his clan and had five children--not including the one who was Yukiko's son. Few ever guessed Ryutaro's parentage, as he took strongly after Yukiko's father. Those who did guess never spoke of it; Haku took the secret to his grave. It is unknown if Yukiko ever knew who the father of her child was.

Hideyoshi served under Akechi as the general of the Imperial Army for seven years. His body never fully recovered from his extended spirit possession, and as his health declined he gave up his position and went to live in Sapporo, in the newly rebuilt Phoenix palace. He died in his sleep in 1598.

Hiroshi found that life within the Unicorn suited him and kept both of his wives pregnant almost constantly for years. Sun Bear took over leadership of the clan when she gained her majority, and proved to be a fierce and wise leader. Hiroshi died in battle in 1622.

Panda and Nibori eventually had a number of children, most of whom were hengenyokai, two of whom were nearly pure Air Spirit Folk, the twin heirs of Skyhome. Tadaki visited regularly until Nibori's death in 1642. Panda outlived her husband by twenty years, but on his death gave leadership of the Lion clan over to her eldest son and retired to Skyhome. To her dying day, she went for daily flights with Gryphon.

Gryphon found himself a mate--a number of them--and lived quite happily in Skyhome for the rest of his days. He always seemed to have a kitsune or two around him, the only gryphon to ever keep pet foxes.

Tadaki moved the City of the Sun to a large island far off the coast of Japan, and used his now-formidable arts to cloak the island with spells that even today prevent any who are not of hengenyokai blood from finding it or even being able to think of it for very long. He married Kintro, a childhood friend, in 1585. (When she told the story of their betrothal, Kintro never failed to point out that Tadaki, when Kintro told him he was going to marry her, looked around panicked, in hopes that it somehow wasn't him she was speaking to. He did eventually reconcile himself to the notion of marriage.) As of the early 1700's, he still lives in the City of the Sun, the staff that he carries extending his lifespan far beyond the usual for hengenyokai.

Iyotushi Hirohito, at a strongly worded suggestion from his brother, surprised everyone by marrying Soshi Karasuko, Funitsu's stepmother. Thus he cemented the Imperial family's ties to the Scorpion clan. He held the official position of Imperial Advisor for the rest of his life. He and Karasuko had no children.

It turned out that the Demonbane had been holding what was left of the original Thrykreen and the entire remaining population of kitsune in a secure cell under his now-destroyed palace. There were six of each, and by the time they were found they had all paired off. Fortunately for mankind, the two halves of the race decided that they vastly preferred each other's company to living parasitically off of humans. To this day, the myobu (as they call themselves, after the Celestial kitsune who were all killed by the Demonbane) live very quietly in small communities that are usually walled away from the human life around them. A number of them also live in Skyhome.

All of the altered Thrykreen died within six months of the Demonbane's death. The Warresh still slumber in their crystal city, and hopefully always will.

Jeron spent a time wandering the length of Japan, occasionally dropping in on those who had been his compatriots, attending each wedding and funeral alike. For a while, he sailed on the Benevolent, becoming friends (and, it is rumored, lovers) with the copper-eyed second mate, Kalva. When Japan opened its borders in 1642, he traveled west, first through China and India, then Europe, eventually settling in London for a number of years. In 1685, he returned home, settling down to write an English translation of the events of the Spirit War.

The Phoenix Clan passed to Yukiko's son, Ryutaro, and Yukiko served as both the Phoenix regent and Empress until he reached his majority. Akechi ruled for thirty years, overseeing the rebuilding of Japan after the Spirit War, but insisted on keeping the borders of the country closed to outsiders. He died in 1613, followed by Yukiko in 1618. Ryutaro passed on the rulership of the Phoenix Clan to his firstborn daughter and took on the mantle of Emperor. Under Ryutaro's rule, the borders of Japan became progressively more open and the Clans began to fall out of power, as the Emperor worked to make Japan a part of the world.

Takumi Yamashita and Edi-lo were buried in the same shrine, on the grounds of the Phoenix estate in Sapporo.

Takumi Reiko was buried on the Iyotushi estate, just outside of Kyoto, in a shrine built for her by Akechi and Yukiko. The shrine is on a hill overlooking a river. From the torii of the shine, one can look down to the riverbank and see the place where a mage and an immortal once met and fell in love.

Her grave is one of the few places on the earth that the myobu hold sacred.

--Saruwatari Jeron, September, 1703

September 12th, 1703

Jeron leaned back at his desk, looking at the manuscript in front of him. "That's it, then," he said aloud to the empty room. "It's done."

Even with Reiko's spirit gone, he still retained the habits that having her around for a century had ingrained in him: speaking his thoughts aloud, leaving offerings at the small altar under one of the windows in this small house, double-checking to make sure he didn't accidentally close the door on her tails when she was frisking around in fox form.

He had begun the translation after she'd gone, almost twenty years ago, returning to Japan and finagling his way into the Imperial vaults, where Yukiko had stored her journals and letters before she'd died. There was currently a fad in London for myths and stories from the Orient, and Jeron had a publisher interested in his translation. The desk before him was littered with paper and parchment, covered with elegantly handwritten Japanese script.

"Funny. Only the myobu and hengenyokai will ever realize what this is, if they ever read it. The humans have already forgotten us. It's probably for the best."

He stretched and rose. He'd go visit the shrine on the Iyotushi estate tonight, he decided. Since he had returned, visiting Reiko's grave had become another habit. Seemingly by accident, he had ended up living only an hour's walk away.

Though I am not certain what I will do, now. Return to London, I suppose, for a little while.

That evening, he walked into the shrine overlooking the river. A young woman, fine-boned and very small, was standing on a stool, lighting lanterns. She heard his step behind her and turned, smiling. "Welcome, stranger."

Jeron stopped cold.

The girl's eyes were amber as topaz. He felt the prickle of her life force against his skin, like a subtle wind. She was kitsune, and from her raised eyebrow, she knew that he was Thrykreen. He bowed slightly, and went inside. The shrine attendants were usually human, though he supposed it made sense that a young kitsune might come here to serve a few years.

After paying his respects, he returned outside. The shrine attendant was standing at the torii, looking down at the river with a wistful expression on her face. He sat on a stone beside her. "How goes the hunting?"

She quirked her mouth in a small smile. "Well enough. Tell me, have we met before? You look familiar, though I can't place you."

"We might have. What's your name?"

"Ishimaru Kaede. I grew up in Skyhome, and my parents finally let me out into the world on the condition that I do a turn as a shrine attendant. I picked here, because it feels very peaceful to me."

"I haven't been to Skyhome since Panda died. That was--has it really been forty years now?" He looked over at her, and in the light from the lanterns saw something that he had missed before, a pure white streak in her black hair.

She saw where his glance went, and self-consciously patted the streak. "I was born with it. The priest said it was a sign that I had a troublesome last life. And, yes, it's been forty-five years since our Panda died. I'm only nineteen, so I never met her, though my parents are friends with her sons. What's your name?"

He hesitated. His name was legendary, and he felt a great reluctance to give it and possibly ruin the first good conversation that he'd had with one of the myobu since Reiko's spirit had left him. He couldn't bring himself to lie, so he said, truthfully, "Saruwatari Jeron."

The girl blinked. "Oh." She considered this, and her hands crept to the hems of her sleeves, fidgeting with them. The gesture was unconscious and so reminiscent of Reiko that Jeron's heart gave an unexpected twist.

Nonsense, he told himself. I need to stop looking for her in the face of every woman I meet. This is a pleasant girl, a pretty young kitsune, nothing more.

"I've heard stories of you my whole life. It's interesting to have the reality sitting beside me. You're not as tall as I thought you would be. The stories make you sound like you're a giant."

He chuckled. "Things get exaggerated. I'm a Thrykreen like any other, Kaede. I'm just a bit older than most."

Kaede tilted her head, considering this. "And you were a part of the Spirit War. And you knew Takumi Reiko. What was she like?"

He closed his eyes, remembering. "Small, smaller than you, even. Confused, much of the time. She held great sorrow within her, enough to almost drown her at times. She loved fiercely, and she was one of the bravest souls I've ever known. She died the death of a warrior, fighting for something she believed in."

"Is it true, that her spirit is still attached to you?"

Jeron shook his head. "A century to the day after she died, her spirit disappeared. I believe that she had finally worked out her sorrows, and was ready to move on--whether to another life, or to whatever afterworld waits for myobu."

"Ah. I'm sorry, Jeron."

An odd question occurred to him, and it came out of his mouth before he had time to think about it. "Tell me, do you have nightmares?"

Her eyes widened, and she stared at him. "I do. How did you know?"

"I don't know. What do you have nightmares of?"

Kaede looked down to the river, her eyes distant. "I dream of battles with demons who spit molten copper. I dream of sailing ships, of another kitsune dying because I could not protect her. I dream of standing in front of a man who I am terrified of, even though I don't know why I am. I dream I am walking naked on the deck of a ship, and a black-garbed man stops me from throwing myself into the ocean. I dream that my father tells me that I am no daughter of his--though my real father loves me dearly. And other things. I don't know why I dream these things; my life has been a happy one so far, and I count myself very blessed."

Jeron said, softly, "Perhaps they're just echoes of the past. Sometimes stories take on lives of their own. But I doubt it means anything, really. They're probably just nightmares."

"Probably."

He stretched and rose. "I must be off home. I do visit regularly, though, so I should see you again. It was good to speak with you, Kaede."

"Likewise. I'm glad to know there's another myobu living in the area. My parents would be pleased to know there's someone around who can keep me out of trouble."

He grinned briefly, the first evidence of the sense of humor he evidently kept well hidden flashing in his eyes. "I'm not so sure I'm the one to keep you out of it. Perhaps we could find some to get into, one of these days."

Kaede's eyes glittered with amusement. She watched the Thrykreen walked down the road and away from the shrine, murmuring to herself, "I think we may both be in trouble already, Jeron."

(Ishimaru Kaede and Saruwatari Jeron were married in April of 1704.)

Here ends Illume, a chronicle of the conflict that became known as the Spirit War. 3/2004 - 10/2004

[ikesenhell]

The Well

The Measurement of Time: Chapter 5. You can find all other IkeSen works of mine here. NOTES:  This was a LiveWrite! Thank you all so much! ALSO: This whole story does not make much sense without the context from To Honor And Protect! Please go back and read that before you proceed with TMOT. Tagging @ikemenprincessnaga at request. Y’all, I am so attached to Toyotomi-Akechi. I love her. She is my child now. 

Sasuke spent most of the next morning in the library, parsing through book after book. After his second shared dreaming experience with Uesugi, he was deeply interested in the data points behind it. Had anyone done a really good, thorough research paper into the topic? It seemed not. That was frustrating. Then again, how could one devise a really proper scientific method to study it?

Mildly put out (only mildly, because that was how the pursuit of knowledge worked--sometimes one needed to recognize a gap in understanding before one could fix it), he returned to the barracks with a few books and settled in at the breakfast table. Tokugawa burst in through the door and shot him a grin.

“Afternoon! Where’ve you been?”

Sasuke really could see a lot of the fabled Masamune Date in Tokugawa’s mannerisms. Historically speaking, it seemed funny. “At the library. I’m doing a bit of light reading.”

A slender hand emerged behind him and peeled a book out from under his stack. Miss Takeda flopped onto the table, a sweet bun in one hand and a grin splitting her cheeks. “This isn’t any ‘light reading’. Do you do math for fun, too?”

Sasuke didn’t know how to respond to that. “Long division could be comforting, I suppose. I rather like going over results from scientific studies.”

Tokugawa snapped his fingers. “You know who you should talk to? They like that stuff, too--”

“Don’t bother yelling. I’m here.” Another woman emerged in the doorway, stretching in her armor. She had sleepy citrine eyes and light brown hair, her hands long and slender. At her waist, two symbols of her house hung: Akechi and Toyotomi. “You’re the new kid.”

“That would be me, yes.” Sasuke thought to stand and bow to her. “Toyotomi-Akechi?”

“Mhm.” She didn’t say much, just skated smoothly across the floor and peeled the book from Takeda’s hands. “Don’t take people’s things.”

“Awww. Don’t kill the vibe.”

But Toyotomi-Akechi fixed Takeda with such a sinister, knowing smile that Sasuke’s unspoken questions faded away. Ah. There was the legendary Akechi smile. The woman flipped the book open. “What are you researching?”

“Shared dreaming.”

“Hm.” If there were questions (and there were, judging by the confused expressions from Tokugawa and Takeda), she didn’t ask them. She just snapped it shut and handed the book back over. “Alright then. I’ll take a bit of looking into the subject myself.”

Sasuke was ready to push half of the books in her direction, but she just shot him a wink and sailed out the door into the backyard. Tokugawa shrugged. “I don’t know where she gets any of her information, but she’s good. I’d just let her do her thing.”

“Fair enough.”

The door opened again, Uesugi standing with her hand on hilt. “Sarutobi.”

“Yes, ma’am?” He’d never called her ma’am before, but it felt impolite not to at this point. Tokugawa choked back a laugh.

“Time for training again.”

“Got it.”

She scowled at Takeda and Tokugawa, who were both stifling laughter. “And you two, while we’re at it.”

“Good luck, Tokugawa!” Takeda vaulted off the table and sprinted out the door with unexpected speed. “Sorry for abandoning you!”

“No you aren’t!”

Uesugi stood, gazing off into space as if a silent audience there saw and understood her struggle. At last, she sighed. “You two, come on. With me.”

---

The dreams didn’t stop.

For the next week, he had a disjointed series of them parade through his unconscious mind. A stone wall, crumbling inward--dark, stately hallways--the faint orange glow of a string of lights, illuminating in patches against columns--quiet whirring of something mechanical--

What was going on?

He asked Uesugi about the first two. Of course she’d had them too. Afterward, they didn’t even talk about it anymore. He would come down into the kitchen at early hours to see her prepping some tea, they’d nod at each other in quiet understanding, and she’d pass him the mug she’d fixed up just for him.

“We should probably notify the Queen,” she remarked once, her smooth voice a thread in the tapestry of morning sounds. As much as the Ishida family line laid claim to being affiliated with the ocean, he couldn’t help but look at Uesugi and think of the sea, too. Uesugi with her ocean eyes of blue and green, her white-blonde sandswept hair, the sharp and soft and angular and rolling parts of her that shaped like the crash of a wave. “She’d want to hear about this.”

“I don’t know that it is entirely of interest yet, aside from being scientifically curious.”

But Uesugi laughed ever so lightly. “I’m pretty sure her whole family line is ‘scientifically curious’. If anything odd is afoot in this city, I’ve little doubt that the Queen would know better than either of us if these dreams are some kind of a portent.”

Admittedly, Sasuke was nervous for other reasons. He still felt that misplaced crush on her Highness. It simmered in him the same way all his favorite questions did. In some ways that felt inappropriate; like a conflict of interest during research, twisting the results ever so slightly in the tester’s favor. It was a ridiculous thought, but he still couldn’t shake it.

Uesugi arranged the meeting regardless. The day of, someone hammered against his door early in the morning.

“Hey there, sleepy!” Tokugawa laughed at Sasuke’s fatigued expression. “Hope you slept well. Uesugi told me to grab this for you.”

“What is it?”

“If you’re in care of us, you have to look like it.” And with that, Tokugawa set a bundle in his arms, shooting him a wink. “Get changed. Your appointment with the Queen is in two hours.”

Confused and curious, Sasuke unrolled it on his bed. Out came a blue and silver uniform. Emblazoned on the chest in shimmering white-blue was the crest of the Nine.

---

The throne room was an informal affair. At the farthest end, a massive window opened out to the ocean, the swirl of waves and distant storms the perennial backdrop of the City. The jet tiles were polished so bright they shone, and at the center, near the wall, was a massive, round, obsidian table. Several stately chairs sat around it.

“Welcome.” The Queen stood as they entered, her sweet smile at home against the waves. “Uesugi. Sarutobi.”

“Your Highness.” Uesugi clasped her fist to her chest and bowed deeply. Sasuke followed suit less gracefully. “We came to talk to you about an odd situation that we find ourselves in. I think it might be something of interest to you.”

She listened with a frown as they laid out the situation: the dreams, their contents, the connected nature of them. After a moment she stood and circled around her seat, pacing by the glass wall.

��My grandfather and grandmother had a very interesting bond,” she noted finally. “They were notable in that not many people in the history of magic--the history we know of, mind you--can both share the same staff.”

“Of course.” Sasuke commented. “Most magic users report that their staves won’t interact well with others. They state that there is odd sparking, resistance, backfiring…”

“Correct.” The Queen motioned to him. “I know your prior employment was involved in studying that. I don’t think your team pinpointed the causes of it?”

“Not yet. We are still formulating theories.”

“It takes time.” She paused. “My point is that it wasn’t just two people using that staff.”

Uesugi frowned. “No?”

“No. Because my grandfather didn’t make that staff--he found it. On the Trinity Islands, as it so happens. It belonged to the same mage that invaded our city. Ergo, three people were able to use it.” She took a moment to consider. “I can’t imagine what my grandparents thought of that, or if it ever occurred to them what that meant, but I imagine that in some ways, they are still linked to that original force.”

Sasuke paused for thought. “So--allow me to base a guess off your previous conjecture--you perhaps believe that Uesugi and I are connecting with a singular force with this creature on the Trinity Islands, the same way that the Lord and Lady Ishida and that Mage connected?”

“That’s my guess.”

“Alright.” Uesugi shifted uncomfortably. Sasuke watched the dim light flutter and play over her severe, beautiful features, and realized all at once--oh. Well that was an unprofessional feeling. “Alright, but here is my question, your Highness. There was a physical object in question when the Lord and Lady existed: that staff. As best I know, there is no physical object in play here, unless I’ve utterly missed something.”

“That’s my question, too.”

All three of them fell silent. Sasuke peered out the window, over the lip of the obsidian cliffs, and realized he could just make out the statue of Mitsunari and the Queen dancing in the surf.

---

Two days later, Toyotomi-Akechi emerged from a downpour in the kitchen, shaking out her boots. “Uesugi.”

“Where have you been?” Uesugi didn’t sound upset by any means. Sasuke had gathered they were rather used to Toyotomi-Akechi’s comings and goings being erratic at best.

“That doesn’t matter. You and Sarutobi should come with me.”

“What?”

But the woman just motioned again and turned back out into the rain. Cursing, Uesugi flung a cloak at Sasuke and donned one herself, racing after her.

They sloshed through the empty cobblestone streets, kicking up water in thick sheets. Thunder rumbled ominously overhead. Taking twisting, labyrinthine side streets, they slid through the curving underbelly of the City with the kind of ease Sasuke had never imagined. And then--

“Here.” Toyotomi-Akechi led them into a little courtyard. Several houses backed up around a circle of patchy grass, a well sitting squat between them. “Down there.”

“Down there what?” Uesugi snapped, squinting down into the well.

Sasuke held his glasses against his face and took a look. Nothing but blackness greeted them. What was he even looking for?

“Don’t look.” Toyotomi-Akechi laughed at them. “Listen.”

He shut his eyes obediently. Was there a point to this? He heard the thunder overhead. He heard the rush of wind and the surging tide. He heard the rain hammering against stone and rooftop and fabric, and--

And he didn’t hear water plinking against water.

“There’s no water in there,” Uesugi murmured. “Alright. So it’s an empty well.”

And at that, Toyotomi-Akechi grinned like a snake incarnate. Stretching out her hand, a flutter of magical lights emanated from her fingertips and circled downward. They watched the dark stones of the well inch by inch by inch--and then, there it was: a strange looking doorway at the very bottom, an ancient padlock holding it shut.

“That looks like a place to get murdered,” Uesugi commented.

“One would hope not.”

“Do you think--” Sasuke paused. “This is a bit of a stretch, but--”

He didn’t need to finish the sentence. Uesugi just turned to the other woman. “I’m assuming you brought a ladder?”

“Brought? No.” But she motioned to one leaning against a nearby house. Uesugi just fetched it herself and lowered it into the well, jostling it a few times to see if it would stick. It did.

“Alright. Sarutobi?”

He swallowed all of his misgivings. “Right behind you.”

“Good.”

They clambered down the ladder and onto the wooden platform. For a second he thought she would try and pick the padlock, but she just smashed her heel through the hinges of the old door and watched it snap loose. There: there was another ladder, leading down into an unknown depth.

Uesugi blinked against the rain and yelled up to Toyotomi-Akechi, “If we don’t return in four hours time, come back and get us!”

“Got it.”

Sasuke waited for her to clear the door before he hopped onto the second ladder and descended. The rain above sluiced through the slats of the wooden door and sprayed him, but he kept his head down as the whole world went dark around him. Down, down, down--and finally his foot met pavement again.

“Alright,” Uesugi muttered in the pitch black. “Give me a second.”

Shhck, shhck--finally her match caught. She lifted it in the dark and found a long-unused torch, and as soon as it went up, they both gasped.

Before them, stretching out into nothing, was a long, dark hallway under the city.

[destroy-trash-boys]

the hilarity of shuake is people will write flowery meta about 2/2 and what the ship means for joker as a character and talk about trust and equality and all of that

and then the fanon has absolutely none of that and akechi is so unlikable and hateful you don’t even know why joker would love him or why akechi even deserves it -and if you say he doesn’t, which is true, a relationship where someone doesn’t deserve the other can never work because of that moral imbalance- and as a result joker winds up coming off as weak-minded loser who loves someone for no reason, and it comes off as abuse. not two equals bonding

this is a result of the morality, so some people have to look at joker’s righteous anger at abusive adults and authority and say this makes him “morally gray”, even though his anger is for other people, not himself. akechi is only for himself. akechi can’t even put himself aside and care for joker even though joker undergoes serious trauma *twice* because of him

it might also be unintentional but with all the “akechi bullying” because akechi is outclassed by joker in every way, the ship really becomes jokes about joker being like a stupid abuse victim who loves someone bad for him. so how is 2/2 even tragic in the way the shippers mean in the meta? akechi has no friends, no redeeming qualities, nothing to make him even seem human and less than a machine who loves murder, as per the fandom, while you have joker who cars for everyone. so that’s why all the jokes in the fandom are leaning towards actual domestic violence when it’s about shipping. i would love for someone who thinks akechi actually deserves love to explain why when the fandom is all about joker being a cheerleader or an emotional crutch with no needs of his own who exists to just deal with akechi beating him. this fandom gets that ryuji being beat up is a shitty joke, but joker being beaten up by akechi is just “funny rivalry haha gay men hate each other and their relationships are based on violence”. these shippers obviously agree akechi is trash and won’t change hence all the “i want to beat him up i want to push him down the stairs i want the pt to bully him” memes and captions, but also at the same time they think joker should just put up with him, and also we’re supposed to consider this some tragic romance and royal is such a great game, joker’s character is so enhanced by this! but put together it doesn’t make sense. just like people trying to argue akechi is an abuse victim, it’s sad he was groomed to kill, but making it obvious he’s worse than shido and wanting him to continue killing just for his own fun

[it-will-not-last-the-night]

Sunday Thoughts

One thing I’ve encountered in Persona 5 at large is, in general, the reluctance to mention, discuss or acknowledge the existence of the scene in which Ryuji is physically assaulted.

This is not to say that people deny it exists, but they prefer to operate as if it didn’t. I see it a lot in fanfictions where absolutely no mention will be made of the fact that Ryuji’s friends have physically beaten him before, even if the fanfiction will reference things like Ryuji being ‘vulgar’.

This perplexes me since, just very simply, someone being ‘vulgar’ is in no way comparable whatsoever towards being physically beaten up.

A lot of effort will often be directed towards sympathy for differenc characters, including Ryuji, but even then most fan work I’ve seen or read about sympathy, even those directed at Ryuji, don’t really mention the physical attack at all, despite it being by a LARGE margin the single worst act perpetrated by the Phantom Thieves.

I can understand partly why there’s such a general effort to actively discard the incident, it gets in the way of SO much if you accept it. How does one write the Phantom Thieves as true family and friends if one has to accept they are willing to physically beat Ryuji? How does one do an in-depth analysis of their bond if one has to accept their bond with Ryuji is so unimportant (or abusive) that they are willing to hurt and abandon him? It gets in the way of writing them nicely and also would make continuing abuse of Ryuji come across as being in bad taste when one has to remember that Ryuji has been physically abused by these teenagers.

(Then again I have read a fanfiction in which Ryuji being abducted and chased by sexually harassing older men is considered ‘funny’ and Ryuji is seemingly portrayed as being at fault for not humoring them so perhaps I’m being overly charitable).

It often seems like Akechi, a known murderer, or Futaba, who often disregards privacy completely and illegally, are considered to be more important to sympathise with than Ryuji, who never performs any deeds approaching the same level of immoral, yet is most consistently hit with the highest level of insults and physical abuse (I’m only counting Akechi here whilst he is ‘not’ an enemy, since ‘enemies’ obviously have different considerations to ‘friends’).

Now this is not to attack Akechi or Futaba, I like both characters, as I’ve said I like ALL the Phantom Thieves, although to differing extents. I think Akechi was handled poorly, and I think that ALL the Phantom Thieves are brought down to problematic due to their treatment of Ryuji, I’m only using these two as an example.

Now, of course, I should be clear about something; there is never an onus upon anyone to show or support any particular fictional individual or group. So Ryuji isn’t popular, that is fine, there is no reason to expect people to have to like him as much as they like Akira, Makoto, Ann, Akechi, Morgana and so on and so forth. However, it would be nice if people at least acknowledged the existence of Ryuji being physically beaten (or made clear that in the canon they are using they are actively choosing to discard that scenario as being canon).

Honestly I was a bit taken aback by, seemingly, how little issue people made of Ryuji being physically assaulted. Considering how riled up many became, seemingly, over some of the language used, or implying Akechi is evil because he’s a murderer (again I do like Akechi, and don’t disregard he has a tragic backstory, but it in no way justifies him to do what he did) I was somewhat shocked that there was little discussion, comparatively, of Ryuji being beaten up by all his friends, a monumental betrayal.

I suppose it comes down to the following; physically attacking Ryuji in mass is be far the worst action the Phantom Thieves ever undertake, it is inexcusable and simply explictily evil and cruel. Hence I am shocke there was not a strong counter-reaction to it, and the Phantom Thieves as a whole, for being willing to perpetrate it.

In the same vein I am shocked there was not a stronger counter-reaction to the way the female cast of Persona 5 are almost universally only attracted to the protagonist and can be cheated on, but I will save that for another time.

I like just musing on Sundays.