#this is so dumb i'm sorry

[teylasbantos]

major sheppard's first first contact

[leonidele]

really? huh, alright. here you go:

lmao you though you could scare the Devil?

thanks for giving me reason to draw this minicomic, @teawithghosts.

[aidaronan]

Steve heard about him through the grapevine. And by the grapevine, he meant the kinds of people he tended to run into at 5 or 6 in the morning, stumbling home in his torn, ratty clothes after running all night under a full moon. "I heard you're a guy to talk to if someone needs drugs," Steve said, scratching the back of his neck as he sat down at a stool in a hole-in-the-wall bar. The guy next to him barely acknowledged he was there. A single look in the mirror behind the bar, a sip of a cheap beer. Steve heard the guy didn't ask a lot of questions. "Continue," the dealer said, tapping the side of his beer bottle with a finger, a pig-shaped ring clink-clink-clinking on the glass. "It's a weird one." "I've had weirder."

"I doubt it." Steve scratched again, this time at his chest where underneath his shirt, his body hair grew in thick, dark patches. "Try me." Steve inhaled deep, the scent of various types of alcohol so thick in the air that he almost felt a little drunk just from the smell. "I need enough flea meds for a 250 lb dog." In the mirror, the guy caught his eyes again. One eyebrow went up and he licked his lips like he wanted to speak. But true to his reputation, he didn't ask. "I'll need a few days."

Steve itched once more, clawing at his thick hair where it curled around his ear.

"If you can do it by tomorrow, I'll pay double."

[thesarge]

Flirting: A guide by Davos Blackwood

[vieramars]

You're possessed by 🐍

You've been snaked by 🐍

snake

🐍 🐍 🐍

[psychicwound]

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[museofpangolins]

probably Julius Caesar, at some point: "I don't think I can Veni Vidi Vici my way out of this one"

[selfdevour]

[palaceoftears]

When you're trying to have a "romantic" moment with your wife but instead of getting to hold her hand you have to hold her nail guards 💔

[madnessatdawn]

Bowuigi and Banana Bros: Protective mario bros edition

Bowuigi

Mario to Bowser- If you hurt him again, then nowhere on this cursed Earth and the next can you run from me. I'm sure Ma wont mind me helping her make terrapin soup.

Banana Bros

Luigi to Donkey Kong- Make no mistake, it takes a lot to hurt my brother. I already know you did so more than once. That'll be the last time. After that, well... there won't even be bones to dry after I'm through with you.

[odd-critter]

I didn't realize I drew homestar with very vague high heels and then I thought it would be funny to imagine him, an athlete, running around in heels. BUT THAT MEANS HOMSAR SHOUL

[bunnymadeofyarn]

karen and ted re:mike and will [x]

[mirdaniaa]

[i-am-totally-not-a-lizard]

Currently serving only a microscopic amount of cunt. Slaying a miniscule portion of the day. Eating only but a crumb.

[v6quewrlds]

thinking about karaoke with toxic fwb!tee singing husband