#this is short bc i literally wrote it today

[pxrplepolkadots]

💔

[harrysfolklore]

first win - op81

gif by @princemick <33

summary: the road to oscar’s first grand prix win. wc: 3.4K

folkie radio: OSC’S FIRST WIN 🥹🥹🥹 that race that so stressful but he did it and i’m so happy! fun fact: i wrote this fic last night bc i just FELT oscar was winning, i just added today’s race a few hours ago 😭 i hope you like it! leave feedback

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

February 5, 2023. Bahrain Grand Prix

Today was the big day. Oscar Piastri was set to make his Formula 1 debut as a McLaren driver.

You've talked about this countless of times, sharing dreams and fears, mapping out every step of his journey from karting to the pinnacle of motorsport.

Now, as you stood in the garage with the crowd's energy buzzing around you, it was hard to believe that moment had finally arrived.

Oscar was going through some pre-race talks with his team. You caught sight of him from a distance, his face a mask of focus and determination. When he spotted you, he broke into a smile, and for a brief moment, the tension seemed to melt away.

You make your way over to him as he finishes up with his team.

"Ready to set the track on fire, hotshot?" you tease, playfully tugging at the sleeve of his race suit.

Oscar grins, a mix of excitement and nerves dancing in his eyes. "Well, hopefully not literally. I don't think the team would appreciate a barbecued car on my first outing."

His chuckle is tinged with a hint of nervousness. You notice his hand fidgeting with the zipper of his race suit – a telltale sign of his pre-race jitters.

"Hey," you say softly, taking his hand. "Remember what we always say? You've earned this. You belong here."

"I know. It's just...," he took a deep breath, "It's really happening, isn't it? All those years of dreaming, and now..."

"And now you're about to drive the pants off everyone out there," you finish for him, your voice filled with confidence.

As the final call for drivers echoes through the garage, you both know it's time. Oscar's eyes lock with yours, a swirl of emotions passing between you. Without a word, he pulls you close, his lips meeting yours in a tender kiss. It's brief but filled with emotion.

"For luck," you whisper as you part, your foreheads still touching.

"With you here, I've got all the luck I need," Oscar replies softly, his smile warm and genuine.

With a final squeeze of your hand, he heads to where he's needed. You watch him go, your heart racing with anticipation.

The race begins, and for the first 14 laps, everything seems to be going well. Oscar is holding his own, fighting in the midfield, showing flashes of the talent that got him here.

But on lap 15, your heart sinks as you see his car slow down, veering off the racing line. The team radio crackles with the devastating news: "Box, box. We have a steering issue. We need to retire the car."

You watch, helpless, as Oscar brings the car back to the pits. The disappointment is palpable as he climbs out, his debut cut short.

As soon as he's free from the debrief, you find him in his driver's room. His face is a mask of frustration and disappointment.

"Hey," you say softly, taking his hand. "You okay?"

Oscar sighs, squeezing your hand. "Not really. I just... I wanted to finish the race, you know? Show everyone what I could do."

You pull him into a hug. "And you will. This is just the first race, Oscar. There are plenty more to come."

July 9, 2023. British Grand Prix

Silverstone is one of the most special races in the calendar, and for Oscar it's even more special because England is his second home.

He really wanted to deliver a great result. So far, he hadn't been able to place above P8 and he desperately wanted to improve that.

"I know you're nervous about tomorrow," you said as you laid your head on his chest, feeling him tense, "But you're going to do great, baby."

Oscar wraps his arm around you, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on your shoulder. "You really think so?" he asks, his voice a mix of hope and uncertainty.

You prop yourself up on your elbow to look at him. "I know so. You've been getting stronger with every race. The car's improving, and you're more comfortable with it. Plus, this is Silverstone - you know this track like the back of your hand."

He smiles, some of the tension leaving his face. "I do love this circuit."

"That's the spirit," you say, leaning in to kiss him softly. "Now get some sleep. You've got some racing to do in the morning."

The next day you watch from the garage, your heart swells with pride as Oscar delivers a perfect drive. As he crosses the finish line in P4, the garage erupts in cheers. It's his best result in Formula 1 to date, a performance that will silence any remaining doubters.

When he finally makes it back to the garage, helmet off and face beaming, you're there waiting. He sweeps you up in a hug, both of you laughing with joy.

"You did it!" you exclaim as he sets you down. "I told you you could do it!"

Oscar's eyes are shining with elation and pride. "We did it," he corrects you. "I couldn't have done this without your support."

September 24th, 2023. Japanese Grand Prix

You're perched on the edge of your couch, eyes glued to the TV screen, your heart racing as the lights go out at Suzuka. It's killing you not to be there in person, but work commitments had made the trip to Japan impossible.

Your mind flashes back to your conversation with Oscar yesterday after qualifying. His voice had been filled with excitement and a hint of disbelief as he told you about securing second place on the grid, right behind Max Verstappen.

"Can you believe it?" he had said, his words tumbling out in a rush. "P2! Right behind Max! I mean, I knew the car felt good, but this... this is incredible!"

You had matched his enthusiasm, your pride evident in your voice. "I told you you could do it! Just imagine what you could do in the race from there."

Now, as the race unfolds, you find yourself alternating between cheering out loud and holding your breath. When he crosses the finish line in third place, you leap off the couch, screaming in joy. His first podium and in just his 14th race.

You watch the podium ceremony with tears in your eyes, your heart swelling with pride as Oscar stands there, beaming, champagne in hand next to Max and Lando. It's a moment you've both dreamed about for so long.

It was killing you not to be there.

Hours pass, and you know Oscar must be caught up in team celebrations and media obligations. You're itching to talk to him, but you don't want to interrupt. Finally, just as you're considering going to bed, your phone rings.

"Hey, podium finisher," you answer, unable to keep the smile out of your voice.

"Hey yourself," Oscar replies, and you can hear the grin in his voice. "Sorry it took so long to call. It's been absolutely crazy here."

"Don't apologize! I'm just so incredibly proud of you, Oscar. You were amazing out there. Your first podium, it's a dream come true."

There's a moment of silence, and when Oscar speaks again, his voice is thick with emotion. "I just wish you could have been here. It doesn't feel quite complete without you."

"I know," you say softly. "I wish I could have been there too. But hey, this is just the first of many podiums, right? I'll be there for the next one."

"You bet it is," Oscar chuckles, "And you better be, I need someone to help me wash all this champagne out of my hair."

You laugh, feeling a mix of joy and longing. "I love you, Oscar. Enjoy your celebrations. You've earned it."

"I love you too," he replies warmly, "And I miss you, we have some celebration on our own to do."

October 8th, 2023. Qatar Grand Prix.

The heat in Qatar is suffocating, but the excitement in the air is even more intense. You're back in the paddock, determined not to miss another milestone in Oscar's career. Yesterday's sprint shootout had been a nail-biter, with Oscar securing pole position for the sprint race by mere hundredths of a second.

As the short-format race begins, you hold your breath. Oscar gets a perfect start, maintaining his lead into the first corner. As the final lap approaches, the McLaren garage is in shambles.

When Oscar crosses the finish line in first place, the explosion of joy is deafening. You're jumping up and down, tears streaming down your face as you watch him punch the air in triumph. He's done it - his first ever Formula 1 race win.

As Oscar pulls into parc fermé, you can see the emotion on his face even through his helmet. When he finally removes it, his smile is brighter than the Qatari sun. The team swarms him, and you hang back, letting him soak in this moment with the people who've worked so hard to make this possible.

When he finally breaks free and spots you, his face lights up even more. He rushes over, sweeping you into a tight embrace.

"You did it!" you exclaim, your voice muffled against his race suit. "Your first win, Oscar! I'm so proud of you!"

Oscar pulls back, his eyes shining with. "We did it," he corrects you, just as he did after Silverstone.

You laugh, wiping away happy tears. "Well this is just the beginning. Next stop, Grand Prix victory."

May 5, 2024. Miami Grand Prix.

The air in Oscar's driver's room is heavy with disappointment. You watch as he paces back and forth, still in his race suit, his face a mixture of frustration and barely contained anger.

The race had started so promisingly - Oscar had taken the lead early on and was driving beautifully. But then, a collision forced him into an unscheduled pit stop for a new front wing, dropping him down the order and out of contention for a podium finish.

"I had it," Oscar mutters, running a hand through his sweat-dampened hair. "I was leading the race, I had the pace. If it wasn't for that idiot..."

You step closer, your heart aching for him. "I know, baby. You were driving amazingly out there."

Oscar stops pacing and looks at you, his eyes filled with disappointment. "It's not fair. We've worked so hard, the car was perfect, and then..."

He trails off, shaking his head. You close the distance between you, gently taking his hands in yours. "Hey, look at me," you say softly.

Oscar meets your gaze, and you can see the vulnerability behind his frustration.

"You're right, it's not fair," you continue. "But that's racing sometimes. What matters is how you come back from this. And you will come back from this, stronger than ever."

"I just... I wanted this so badly."

You pull him into a hug, feeling him slowly relax against you. "I know. And your time will come, Oscar. This doesn't change how talented you are or how hard you've worked. It's just a bump in the road."

May 26th, 2024. Monaco Grand Prix.

The streets of Monaco buzz with anticipation for one the most important races in the Formula 1 calendar. For Oscar, this was his second time racing in Monaco, and the excitement was palpable.

From your spot in the McLaren hospitality suite, you had the perfect view of the circuit. Oscar thought you were back home, watching from the living room, but you couldn't miss this race. You wanted to see him shine on this iconic track.

You had coordinated with the team to keep your presence a surprise. As Oscar has his last quiet moments in his driver room before the preparations started, you sent him a quick text: "Good luck, love. Drive fast, be safe. I'll be cheering you on from home!"

Oscar's response was immediate. "Thanks, babe. I miss you. Wish you were here, but I'll bring home a trophy for you."

You smiled, knowing that he was in for a big surprise.

The race began, and Oscar quickly settled into a rhythm. He defended his P2 position until the checkered flag waved.

The team erupted in cheers, and you felt tears of joy streaming down your face. It was his third podium finish, and it was in Monaco of all places.

Oscar climbed out of his car, waving to the cheering crowd, his face glowing with joy and relief. As he stood on the podium, spraying champagne and celebrating with Charles and Carlos, you made your way down to the team area.

When the podium celebrations were over, and Oscar was heading back to the garage, you waited for the perfect moment. As he turned the corner, you stepped out, catching his eye.

"Oscar!" you called out, your voice carrying over the noise of the paddock.

He froze, his eyes widening in surprise. "What are you doing here?" he exclaimed, a huge grin spreading across his face as he rushed over to you.

"I couldn't miss this. I had to see you race in Monaco," you threw your arms around him, laughing.

Oscar hugged you tightly, lifting you off your feet. "You sneaky little... I can't believe you're here!"

"Congratulations, baby. You were incredible out there," you pulled back slightly, looking into his eyes.

"This... this is amazing. Thank you for being here. It means everything to me."

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world," you replied, kissing him softly.

July 7th, 2024. British Grand Prix

Oscar had been more motivated than ever. After finishing second the previous week in Austria, he was eager to claim his first Grand Prix victory, and what better place than Silverstone.

He started strong, fighting his way to the front and eventually taking the lead. The team was buzzing with excitement; victory seemed within reach.

But then, disaster struck. A poorly timed pit stop strategy caused Oscar to lose crucial positions. Despite his best efforts, he crossed the finish line in P4. It was his best finish at Silverstone but not the victory he had hoped for.

Later that day back at Oscar's apartment you watched him pace back and forth. He finally stopped and leaned against the window, staring out into the night. His shoulders were tense, and his jaw was set in frustration. The silence was deafening.

"What's on your mind?" you asked softly, breaking the silence.

Oscar didn't turn around. "I don't want to talk about it," he muttered.

You stood up and walked over to him, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "I know you're upset. But sometimes talking helps."

He sighed deeply and turned to face you, his eyes filled with frustration and disappointment. "I was leading the race. I could have won. My first victory, right here at Silverstone. And it slipped away because of a stupid strategy call."

You reached out and took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "It wasn't your fault, Oscar. You drove an amazing race. Everyone saw how talented you are."

"But it doesn't change the fact that I could have won," he said, his voice cracking with frustration. "I've been waiting for this moment my whole life, and it was right there. And now... I don't know when I'll get another chance like this."

You pulled him into a tight hug, feeling his body tense before he finally relaxed against you. "Your time will come. I know it will. You've shown everyone what you're capable of, and there will be other races, other chances. This is just one race in a long career."

Oscar pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes. "I just wanted it so badly. To win here, in front of the home crowd... it would have meant everything."

"I know," you said softly. "And you'll get there. Maybe not today, but soon. And when you do, it'll be even sweeter because of everything you've gone through to get there."

July 21, 2024. Hungary Grand Prix

The Hungaroring buzzed with excitement as the cars lined up on the grid. Oscar, starting from the front row, felt a mixture of determination and nervous energy. As the lights went out, he got a perfect start, pulling away cleanly from the pack.

Lap after lap, Oscar maintained his lead. The team's excitement grew with each passing circuit. This could be it - his first Grand Prix victory.

However, as the race progressed, pit stop strategies began to shake up the order. After a particularly well-timed stop, Lando emerged just ahead of him. The tension in the McLaren garage was palpable.

Soon, team radio crackled to life. Reminding both drivers about strategies, and particularly asking Lando to give the position to Oscar, creating tension both on and off track.

In the final laps, Lando finally relented. He moved slightly wide in a corner, allowing Oscar to slip past. Oscar crossed the finish line first, claiming his maiden Grand Prix victory.

The team erupted in cheers, but the celebration felt somewhat muted. As Oscar climbed out of his car in parc fermé, his face was hard to read.

As you watched Oscar ascend the podium, your heart swelled with pride. Despite the complicated circumstances of his win, seeing him stand on the top step, the Australian national anthem playing in his honor, was a dream come true.

The champagne spray began, and you couldn't help but smile as Oscar, Lando, and Lewis doused each other in celebration. For a moment, the tension seemed to melt away as the three drivers laughed and enjoyed the moment.

As Oscar descended from the podium, his eyes immediately sought you out in the crowd. You managed to catch him just before he was whisked away for interviews.

"Congratulations, champ," you said, pulling him into a quick embrace.

Oscar hugged you tightly, his race suit still damp with champagne. "Thank you for being here," he murmured against your ear.

You pulled back, searching his face. "How are you feeling?"

A flicker of emotion crossed his features. "I'm not sure yet. I need to process everything."

"I understand," you nodded. "Go do your interviews. We'll talk properly later."

Oscar's eyes softened. He glanced around quickly, then leaned in and gave you a quick kiss. "Love you, see you after."

Hours later, after all the media obligations and team debriefs were over, Oscar finally made his way back to the McLaren hospitality area.

As he entered the room, his eyes immediately sought you out. You were there, beaming with pride, and the sight of you seemed to melt away some of his conflicted feelings.

"There's my champion," you said softly as he approached.

Oscar's face broke into a genuine smile, the first one since he'd crossed the finish line. He pulled you into a tight embrace, burying his face in your neck.

"I did it," he murmured against your skin. "I actually did it."

You pulled back slightly to look at him, cupping his face in your hands. "You did. And I am so incredibly proud of you, Oscar."

His eyes searched yours, vulnerability evident in his gaze. "It wasn't exactly how I imagined my first win would be," he admitted.

"I know," you nodded, understanding in your voice. "But that doesn't make it any less of an achievement. You drove brilliantly today, from start to finish."

"I just wish... I wish it had been a clean fight to the end, you know?" Oscar sighed, leaning his forehead against yours, "Without the team orders and all that."

"Hey," you said, making him meet your eyes again. "This is Formula 1. It's rarely ever straightforward. What matters is that you proved yourself out there today. You're a Grand Prix winner now, and no one can take that away from you."

A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "When did you get so wise?"

"Oh, I've always been wise. You're just finally starting to notice," you teased, earning a chuckle from him.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "For always being here, for believing in me even when things get complicated."

"Always," you promised, leaning in to kiss him softly.

The kiss deepened, both of you pouring your emotions into it - your pride and joy, his relief and love. When you finally parted, Oscar was smiling more brightly.

"So, Grand Prix winner," you grinned, "ready to go celebrate properly?"

[mrsgucci24]

~A Moment That’s Yours~

Summary: Joe Burrow’s attempt to stay low-key at his partner's graduation backfires, but they reassure him his presence only makes the day more meaningful.

Authors Note: Hey y'all!! This was something I wrote on a whim bc I thought it was a fun/unique idea. This is short and sweet bc I just felt like writing the idea right away. It was also something I can see myself in so I figured I'd post it here. Anywayssss, this was fun byeeeeeeeee

Warnings: None (That I know of)

The auditorium buzzed with excitement as your name was announced, and you crossed the stage with a wide smile, your cap balanced precariously on your head. The years of late nights, early mornings, and endless deadlines were finally behind you, and now, this was your moment. The applause was thunderous—or at least it felt that way—and you couldn’t stop yourself from glancing at the crowd, searching for a familiar face.

You knew Joe was somewhere in the audience, though he’d insisted on keeping a low profile. “It’s your day,” he’d said, his voice warm but firm. “You’ve worked too hard for anyone to be looking at me.”

Still, you couldn’t help but wonder how incognito a 6’4” NFL quarterback could really be.

After the ceremony, you wove through the sea of caps and gowns, your diploma clutched tightly in your hands. Your family found you first, pulling you into hugs and snapping dozens of pictures. You laughed and smiled, but your eyes kept darting around, searching for him.

Then you spotted him.

Joe stood near the back of the crowd, wearing a baseball cap pulled low over his face and a pair of sunglasses that did little to hide his unmistakable frame. He was leaning casually against a tree, his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, but the way his lips quirked into a smile when your eyes met gave him away instantly.

You marched over to him, shaking your head in disbelief. “Joe,” you said, stopping just short of him. “You look ridiculous.”

“Do I?” he asked, feigning innocence. “I thought I blended right in.”

You raised an eyebrow. “You’re literally the tallest person here.”

“Okay, maybe not my best disguise,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. “But I didn’t want to take anything away from you.”

Your heart softened at his words. “You could never take anything away from me, Joe.”

He started to reply, but then someone nearby gasped audibly. “Wait… is that Joe Burrow?”

The words seemed to ripple through the crowd, and suddenly, all eyes were on him. A few people pulled out their phones, whispering to one another, and a group of students broke into excited murmurs. Joe sighed, adjusting his cap like it might somehow shield him from the growing attention.

“I’m sorry,” he said under his breath, his tone laced with frustration. “This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen.”

You reached out and took his hand, lacing your fingers through his. He looked down at you, surprised. “Joe,” you said softly, your voice steady, “it’s okay.”

“But this is your moment,” he protested. “I didn’t want to take that from you.”

“You’re not taking anything,” you assured him, squeezing his hand. “You’re part of my moment. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed or mad. I’m proud you’re here. So let them look. Let them take pictures. None of it changes what today is about.”

For a moment, Joe just stared at you, his expression unreadable. Then he let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “How did I get so lucky with you?”

You smiled, pulling him a little closer. “Maybe I’m the lucky one.”

The noise around you faded as he leaned down, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. When he pulled back, his smile was brighter than any camera flash.

“Come on,” you said, tugging his hand. “Let’s take some pictures. If people are gonna stare, we might as well give them something to look at.”

Joe laughed, following your lead as you joined your family for photos. And as you stood there, with your diploma in one hand and Joe’s hand in the other, you realized this moment was even better than you’d imagined—because he was part of it, every step of the way.

[woobly]

IKEA ADVENTURES . . . 박성훈 !

PAIRING. bf! sunghoon x gn reader GENRE. fluff, established relationship WARNINGS. i hate kids /hj WC. 370 smth words

𓂋˚˖ A/N. first enha fic!! this isn’t actually the debut fic i want for enha but this is what i have atm </3 longer jungwon fic coming soon (hopefully bc school is coming up again boo) !!! wrote this after i went to the one and only ikea branch in my country and found it busier than disneyland ☠️

“THIS IS SO ANNOYING,”

“What is?”

“I bet you my entire savings account 80% of the people here are not here to buy furniture,” you offhandedly comment as you enter another showroom and carefully study the aesthetics of the room. Sunghoon only chuckles as he switches between watching you walk around the slightly cramped room and actually looking at the furniture.

“Why are there so many kids and elderlies sitting around? This isn’t an amusement park, and I’m sure the grandparents just want to rest at home,” you pause before reaching for the tag of an interesting-looking bookshelf and surprising yourself with the price. “And so many couples on dates too,”

“We’re a couple on a date too, aren’t we?”

Turning around, you reach for Sunghoon’s hand and pull him out and into the next showroom. “Yeah, but I am at least here to actually buy furniture,” Sunghoon giggles as he notices the tips of your ears growing a little red. “And you’re here because I need another head to help me and you’re the only one available,”

“I literally saw your roommate lying on the couch when I came over to pick you up. They seemed to be free,” he retorts in a teasing manner.

“Just shut up and tell me what you think about this coffee table,” you say pointing to the short-legged table in front of you.

“It’s… okay,”

“You’re no help,”

“But my presence is helpful, right?” he says, obviously staring at you with a cheeky smile while swinging your interlocked hands.

Turning towards him, you find his smile quite contagious and do the same as well. “Why are you being so clingy today?”

He only giggles, letting go of your grasp and moving to sit on the couch beside the rejected coffee table. “I think we should put something like this in our future house,”

Snickering, you move to sit beside him. “You wish,”

“Why? You don’t want to live with me?”

“No, I just don’t really like this couch,”

“So you want to live with me?” you turn to find him already looking at you, smiles growing slowly from the atmosphere. 

In your peripheral, a child starts skipping in your direction, bringing you back to reality. “Let’s keep going, Hoon.”

© woobly, 2023. all rights reserved.

[mikavlcs]

Sweater Weather

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x fem!reader

Summary: Wednesday gives you her sweater to wear on a cold day in Jericho.

Word count: 0.8k

Notes: it’s midnight here, so guess who’s officially 18... anyways this is literally the second story i ever wrote, based off an incredibly generic prompt. i never posted it bc it’s so short but i wanted to post something today so... hope you guys enjoy!

Masterlist

Admittedly, the current predicament you were in was one entirely of your making.

Today was one of Nevermore’s yearly field trips. And because there was apparently no other civilization within fifty miles of your school, that meant you and your peers were spending the day in Jericho. 

It was basically just another Outreach Day except you weren’t being used for free labor.

As always, you checked the weather the night before. The reports showed that Jericho would be sunny with a slight breeze for most of the day, so you wore a long-sleeved shirt and a light zip-up hoodie. And that choice served you just fine as you walked down the main streets of the town.

But you swore that each section of Jericho had its own weather patterns because the moment you stepped into Pilgrim World, the sky completely clouded over and the air around you chilled. 

A fitting atmosphere for the bleak “theme park” you supposed, but not what you were expecting.

Given the circumstances, you were fine, but poor Enid was shivering within minutes of the gratuitous tour Principal Weems was making everyone take. 

You watched from your spot next to Wednesday as Ajax tried his best to warm her, rubbing his hands up and down her arms, but her short sleeve shirt was doing her no favors and you felt bad.

Decisively, you ventured over to her, giving Wednesday a quiet “be right back” before you went. You unzipped your hoodie and slipped it around Enid’s shoulders. She accepted it with a bright grin and hug which you returned eagerly. 

You were happy to help your friend, and besides, you would be fine.

But the temperature kept steadily dropping as you and your classmates were guided around the park and before you knew it, you were in the same dilemma Enid was only ten minutes ago. You tried your best to appear unfazed by the chill in the air, knowing Wednesday would have no sympathy for your situation. The breeze that began making itself known was making that a challenge, however.

Briefly, you considered asking Enid for your jacket back, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do that to her. So you resolved to just keep moving and tough it out alone.

Well, not entirely alone.

Wednesday, ever observant, noticed your plight immediately. Actually, she had predicted it would happen the moment she saw you hand your jacket off to her roommate. Your kindness was easily one of your best traits in her eyes, but too often it got you into situations like this where you would deprive yourself of something for someone else’s benefit and suffer for it.

She watched your pathetic attempts to subtly warm yourself for a few minutes longer before finally taking pity on you. 

Wordlessly, she slipped the oversized black sweater she was wearing off and handed it over to you. You looked over, glancing between her and the sweater, your confusion palpable. Wednesday rolled her eyes.

“Take it.”

Confusion turned into disbelief when you realized what she said. You simply stared, incredulous at the thought of Wednesday Addams—tough, stoic Wednesday Addams—offering you her sweater to wear.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“I- Are you sure? What about you?” you stuttered, not wanting the smaller girl to be cold for your sake. Wednesday scoffed, sounding offended by the mere insinuation.

“Please, I slept in mortuary cabinets for fun when I was younger. I still do on occasion, actually. This is child’s play. Now, take the sweater. Your constant shuffling is incredibly distracting.”

She punctuated her last sentence by all but shoving the article of clothing into your arms. This time, you took it with a grateful grin and slipped it over your head. Immediately, the soft material warmed you, encompassing you in Wednesday’s scent in the process. You closed your eyes, basking in it, before looking back at Wednesday.

“Thanks, Weds,” you leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Wednesday cringed, feigning disgust at the affection even as her cheeks began to burn. She flicked her gaze up to yours, her signature glare a bit softer than usual.

“I took pity on you in this single instance. Do not expect it to happen again.”

“Of course, Wens,” you chuckled. Movement in your peripherals caught your attention and you turned to see the rest of your group heading off to the fudgery. You faced Wednesday again with a warm smile. 

“Come on, let’s get this stupid tour over with, and afterward we’ll head over to the Weathervane. I’ll buy you whatever you want as a thank you.”

You linked your pinky with hers, gently pulling her along to trail behind the other students. And if Wednesday brought her hand up to lightly trace the skin your lips touched the moment your back was turned, well that was no one’s business but hers.

[straykids-97]

My insomnia is really bad right now and I would love nothing more than for bang chan or lee know to fuck me to sleep.

Just make me so exhausted I pass out in minutes and enter a time of bliss.

Dear lord 🥵 (warnings are below the cut btw NSFW)

I feel like Chan is the type to slowly fuck you to bed, and then Lee Know is the type to exhaust you. Like c’mon. Chan is naturally a giver and Minho is a taker. And lord have mercy take the fckin wheel- I’m soft for both. I’d literally sell my soul for either of these men- (and also Mingi🩷🫶🏻)

Chans just fine asf for being so soft like- 😭 ⬇️⬇️ HES SO CUTE I CANT- I’m such a simp for this man that it’s disgusting.

Lee know is a damn menace. He knows it- we know it. Like, he doesn’t hide it. He enjoys tormenting us. You can see it in the way he smiles. MAN IS A TEASE- I will pass away bc I wouldn’t be able to withstand his wrath istg.

Warnings: soft channie 😭🫶🏻, unprotected sex, fluff 🫶🏻, rough sex (if you squint) cute minho, after care

A.N- unedited so I apologize heh. Anyway, enjoy and thx for the submission!!

Chan

Tossing and turning is something Chan is very much used to. In fact, he probably wrote the definition of insomniac. However, even though Chan is used to the struggle of counting sheep, he doesn’t like seeing the one he loves most share the same fate. As Chan sits at his desk peacefully writing as the time passes midnight, he usually finds solace in the soft snores that come from your parted lips.

But tonight, they haven’t come.

He pauses humming to himself and turns to watch your resting form. He carefully watches your chest to see if it was rising and falling softly to find that you were restlessly fidgeting with the blanket instead. Chan frowns at the sight of your fist balled up in frustration, “What’s wrong baby?” He murmurs. You let out a drawn out sigh, “Can’t sleep.” You grumble. The long period of silence had left your voice slightly gruff and you clear your throat before you speak again, “I think maybe today was just too exciting.” Chan coos at you as he stands from his chair, chooching across the floor in cute short steps toward you.

Slipping his jacket off and sliding in bed next to you, he pulls you to his bare chest, “Maybe this will help?” He offers. You curl into his arms and lay your head against the warm skin of his chest, “maybe.” You sigh, trying to rest finally. You try, to no avail, to fall asleep. Even though Chan is playing with the ends of your hair, which normally instantly makes you fall asleep, isn’t helping. And neither is the rumble of his chest as he hums your favorite song. You sigh, “Chan.” You whine, finally giving up. Chan peeks down at you, “What’s wrong baby?”

“I can’t sleep.” You cry, pressing your face in his neck. Chan giggles, squeezing you tightly to his chest. “Awh, it’s ok.” He says, trying to hide his giggles as you speak into his skin, your voice muffled, “my brain just won’t shut off.” Chan stops laughing and pulls away from you. You look up at him to see that he has a playful glint in his eye. “What?” You ask making him grin, “I have an idea…” he trails off, his right hand sliding down your side, groping your ass. You shove at his shoulder softly, “Channie! That’ll wake me up!”

“But it’ll make you sleepy.” He giggles sleepily, biting his lip as he leans in to kiss you.

This is where you find yourself now; back flush against Chan’s bare chest, his hand digging into your thigh to hold it up. He groans softly into your neck, his curls tickling your ear as he buries his face into your throat. His cock is hitting that gooey spot that only he managed to find. You try to hide your soft moans as he holds you close with his other hand splayed across your abdomen, cupping one of your breasts. “Fucking-fuck!” Chan moans, biting your shoulder as you dig your nails into his hip. You meet his hips, grinding back into him; just as desperate to find the high he was chasing as well.

It didn’t take long before Chan had to cover your moans so the other members of the house didn’t hear you. You shudder as you come down, Chan pulling out of you, watching you very carefully as you settle into the sheets. You look too peaceful to disturb by cleaning up right now. You could do that in the morning when you woke up. Right now, he settled beside you, propping himself up to watch you fall asleep.

Minho

Typically, Minho has no trouble getting you to bed. But tonight was different.

As usual, he’s up reading the book he was almost finished with, the light of his lamp casting a soft warm glow around the room. Usually the sound of your slow breathing would make Minho grow tired, but the lack thereof made him turn slightly to watch you. Your back to him, he can notice that you were restless. “Y/n?” Minhos soft voice murmurs. At first you don’t reply, hoping maybe you could pretend to be asleep, but he doesn’t buy it.

You feel a warm hand on your shoulder, “Baby, what’s wrong? Why aren’t you sleeping?” He pleads. You lament, “I’m just anxious.” You admit, turning to look at him as he pulls his glasses off his face. “What about?” You shrug, “I’m not sure. Just am.” You fidget as he ticks his book next to his glasses, “Do you want to talk? Maybe that will help you sleep?” You shake your head, “No.” he thinks for a moment. “Do you wanna…” he trails off, giving you a teasing smile. You giggle as he attacks your neck, nibbling and sucking as he wraps his arms around your body.

After losing your clothes, you find yourself face down in Minho’s pillows, his hand holding your head down, “Fuck!” Minho growls, snapping his hips against yours viciously. Your brain had numbed a long time ago around the third orgasm. He really was about to fuck you stupid. Not that you could process that right now. You were trying to keep your face from being smothered by the pillow.

Minho grabs a fist full of your hair, yanking you up and holding your hip with his other hand. You feel his teeth dig into the space between your shoulder blades, his chest pressing against your skin as he marks you. You let out a shrill whimper as he snakes his hand around to your front, rubbing your swollen bud aggressively. You gasp, your eyes rolling back as yet another orgasm rips through your limp body. From how Minho held you, he was close. “Baby-“ he groans one last time before stuttering to a stop.

You both pant for a while, before he slides out of you, rolling over to grab a few wipes and cleaning the mess between your thighs. He follows suit before discarding the mess in the trash. Minho rolls over and pulls you to his chest and you happily allow him to hold you there. “What’s running around that pretty head now?” He asks smuggly. You giggly dumbly and shake your head. He chuckled, “That’s what I thought.”

©️straykids-97

😵‍💫

[stressed-cryptid]

Anybody know who it is that wrote this two part smau thing where reader / y/n and nanami are moved in together and they're trying to decide on furniture. I remember in the first part they're talking about the couch, Reader was specifically asking Nanami what he wanted bc, y'know, it's his house too. And he keeps being the type that's like "I'm fine with whatever you choose love". Eventually they mention getting a fluffy throw blanket and fluffier or more colorful cushions so it's not an absolute beige nightmare.

In the second part specifically, they have an interior designer (ID for short) come over and help them out. Nanami is at work while reader is home and is the one that receives the ID. Nanami forgot that they had scheduled a visit from ID so when he checks the front door camera and sees the dude come in then not leave until hours later, he thinks reader cheated bc they/we also didn't answer his texts for like an hour or more. When we reader finally texts nanami back he's like "I know everything, don't try to lie." And readers like "Tf!? That was our ID! You've been so busy with work that you forgot to check the calendar and instead accused me of something I wouldn't do! I'm literally over here trying to decorate our house!" To which he responds "that was today? I jumped to conclusions, I'm really sorry my love."

The person who made these two smau's also makes others that I think typically feature gojo, geto, choso, sukuna and toji I believe. They also do the same prompts in parts with different characters to not put a bunch on one post.

I appreciate any help trying to find this blog <3

Edit: the blog in question is @/scrappedup!

[reverie-starlight]

literally wrote this in my notes app while I was on the bus at 6am bc it’s the twins’ bday and I don’t write for Osamu nearly as much as I should.

sorry atsumu, I’m a bad wife for choosing your brother over you today.

gn!reader, no physical descriptions. very short because it was 6am.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Baby, what the hell are you doing?”

Osamu watches from the doorway as you yelp and whip around so fast that you almost fall off the chair you were standing on.

“Osamu, you scared me! don’t do that,” you pout.

He resists the urge to kiss it away and instead walks closer to you, knuckling one of his eyes, then places his hands on your hips to steady you.

“We’re even, then, because I was pretty scared, too, when I woke up to the sound of a chair scraping across the floor and some weird muttering,” he started, looking up at you. “Actually I got one more scare than you did, because watching my fiancé almost fall off of a chair at three in the morning wakes you up real quick.”

You look at him sheepishly and run a hand through his hair. He nuzzles into it and rests his temple against your thigh. “I’m sorry, my love, I just… forgot I had to finish something. You can go back to bed now, I’ll be okay.”

You knew getting him to go back to bed at that point was a long shot, but you also knew he was far too tired to actually register what you were trying to do in the first place.

So you’d use it to your advantage.

“Nuh-uh. Nice try though, babe. Do what you gotta do, but I’ll wait up on the couch until you’re done, kay?” he somehow manages to hold off on his yawn until he finishes his sentence.

Smiling softly down at him, you nod in agreement, patting him on the shoulder as he shuffles over to the sofa and promptly flops down onto it.

You snort. So much for being scared awake.

You focus your attention back on your task, making sure to be as quick and quiet as possible to avoid waking him up again. Part of the reason you were even up at 3am was because you knew Osamu’s senes dulled significantly whenever he was tired. there was no way you’d be able to pull off this trick in the early morning- he was an early riser anyway.

After putting the last object into place and admiring your work, you sigh in content and quietly move the chair back into the kitchen.

Truthfully, you want to go back to bed, but rather than wake him up again, you join Osamu on the couch.

Crawling on top of him as gently as you could, you laid comfortably against his chest. You smiled when you felt an arm subconsciously slither around your waist.

And when you both woke up, you got to enjoy the look on his face when he finally realized that you were putting up decorations for his birthday.

“Happy Birthday, my love!”

[lemon-russ]

This is a new OC x Russ story I wanted to do. Very self indulgent, but a little less silly than my others. I'll still be doing reader insert fics and everything though! Just wanted something different. This one will hopefully be like a slow burn kinda story with more actual plot but there's gonna be smut eventually, as a warning. Short intro chapter for today :)

It's also 30k bc, well, Leman Russ.

(This will probably have breeding kink stuff eventually BUT I am working on a seprate breeding kink/ pregnancy one from the poll thats reader x russ)

(Thanks @squishyowl for the dividers)

Wolf Mother (Ch. 1)

Next>

Ao3

Leman Russ x Fem OC

CW (not necessarily this chapter but overall): Trauma, anxiety, PTSD, General WH40k violence, Sex, probably breeding kink stuff eventually, if there's something I miss and you want labeled let me know!!

Summary: Ex-Captain Vaille is asked a favor by her Primarch

EDIT NOTE: I wrote here that Wren was in the Astra Millitarum (Imperial Guard). I meant for her to be part of the Auxilia, since the IG did not exist pre-heresy. I have changed it to Imperialis Auxilia (Imperial army). Sorry :)

Word count: 1,118

Sitting at her desk in her little office, Wren writes paperwork that will surely just be mindlessly handed around and stamped without being read. She wonders, if she just started writing nonsense in the middle, if anyone would ever be paying enough attention to catch it. She wonders if theres any point in writing them out at all besides the Ultramarine's love of paperwork.

A knock at her door calls her attention. “Come in.” she answers, and the door slides open.

Her eyes widen, and she stands when she sees it is the primarch himself waiting for her.

“Lord Guilliman, what do I owe the pleasure?” She says quickly, and he holds a hand up with a soft smile.

“At ease, Captain.” He says, and you try not to grimace.

“I'm not a Captain, sir.” She corrects, “But it is an honor as always. What do you require?”

He gives a small smile, “As I've yet to think of a new title for you, Captain still works as well for now.” He says, gaze momentarily falling to her bionic leg. “But, I have a request.” He continues, pulling up a chair and motioning for her to sit.

She frowns a bit. It felt wrong to have the primarch sit at her desk like a common paper pusher for a meeting, but she sits down again.

“This is a request, not an order.” He starts, making her scrunch her brow. “It is not that I don't want you here. I think you are one of my top assistants.” He says gently.

The gentleness of the delivery did not dull the blow. “Sir… have I done something…?” She asks. It was improper to speak back to a primarch, but she couldn't help it. She'd been dilligent, attentive, thorough, orderly, all the things ultramarines represent.

He frowns. “I am not firing you, Captain, please, hear me out.” He explains.

“It's about my brother, Leman Russ.” He says with a small sigh. “He is impossible to work with. It is becoming an issue for me. I never know where he is or what his Legion is doing until last minute.”

She gives him a confused look, and then her eyes widen. “Sir, you… surely you don't mean to…”

He gives a sheepish smile, a foreign thing on the face of a demi-god. “Please, Captain? No, I ask this as a friend-” he says, scooting closer to her desk. “Wren, can you please go work with my brother? Even just so I have someone, *anyone* to actually get in contact with?”

Her mouth hangs open. “Lord Guilliman, what- why me?” She stutters. He was really going to feed her to the wolves, literally. She'd never missed a deadline, yet she was being tossed to Leman Russ.

Guilliman chuckles, “Come now, Captain Vaille. I can tell this work is slow for you.” He says, taking a framed pict off her desk.

She frowned a bit as he smiled at the picture, depicting a young, newly promoted Lieutenant Vaille smiling with her squad mates. Two eyes, two legs, years of service left in her.

She frowns as he places the pict back on her desk. “What do you mean, slow? I've been thriving.” She says, reaching over and tipping the picture frame face down.

He chuckles softly. “Thriving? Please. You're bored. You are excellent at what you do, but you do it by habit. I can see you don't love having to sit behind a desk.” He says, righting the picture again. “Third youngest Captain in the Ultramar Imperialis Auxilia. That isn't a woman who rests on her laurels.” He says with a knowing smile.

She frowns harder. “And, what, trying to put a leash on Leman Russ is supposed to be more fun?” She asks incredulously.

He laughs, “It certainly would let you see more action, if nothing else.” he says it cheerfully, but his expression softens when he sees her hand twitch to unconsciously rub where her bionic leg meets her muscle. “Of course, it is a favor I ask. You are free to say no.” He adds.

She grimaces. “I… I'd have to think about it, Sir. I'm sorry.” She replies, hand kneading her thigh nervously.

He smiles again. “Well, that's better than ‘No’ at least. Thank you for considering it, Wren.” He says as he rises, the chair creaking in relief. “You know where to find me when you make up your mind.” He adds as he makes his way to the door.

She gives him a nervous smile, and he nods and leaves the room.

He wants her to go babysit the primarch of the space wolves? Because he thinks she's bored? Well, she is bored. He's not wrong. Her retirement to paper pushing was not one she chose. But that is like saying “hey, you look bored, want to go hit bees nests with a stick?”

She sighs, slinking down in her chair. Her eyes find the pict on her desk he'd been looking at. Her younger, happier, more whole self grins mockingly from the frame.

She frowns and flips it face down again. Then she looked back at her piles and piles of paperwork. Menial, pointless papers no one but her would read.

Could she manage this for another 5 years? 10 years? How much paperwork does it take to cause a baseline human to lose their sanity?

She stares at the paperwork a long while, conflicted and fighting herself, before she lets out a long, tired sigh.

Guilliman looks up and smiles when he hears the doors to his office slide open and sees Wren walking in.

“Have you considered my request, Captain?” He says, sitting up straighter.

She sits at the chair across his desk with her lips pressed to a line. “Not a Captain. Can I give it a few months? Like a trial?”

He smiles wide. “That is a very fair and logical request, not-Captain. You are doing me a huge favor with this.”

Wren bites her lip. “Just a few months. I'll give it a fair shot. But if they're too… space wolves, I'd like to be able to come back.”

He nods, pulling out paperwork. “Of course, of course. I'll start the transfer and inform Leman of the plans. Can you be ready by tomorrow?”

She sighs and nods. “Yeah, I'll go pack, I guess.” She relents.

Her hand nervously kneads at her bionic leg again, and she hopes she isn't getting in over her head.

[liliansun]

(FAILED) love letters to locker #67

synopsis 💌: after finally getting the courage to confess to your crush via love letter, you’re shocked to find out that it actually didn’t end up in his locker and the one who did receive it was a little closer to home than you would’ve liked.

pairing 🫶: crush!heeseung x fem!reader x bbf!haechan

wc 💪: 10.1k

genre 📖: fluff, angst, humor, high school puppy love kinda vibe, iykyk

warnings: kissing, swearing, badly told jokes, jaem has a little temper ngl, gossiping and yk people be staring bc yk

special mentions: enha members, aespa member, le sserafim members, nct dream members

<3: as always @ethereal-engene aka ash, loml <33 got to beta-read this and it was the literal highlight of my day. also I wrote half of this over a couple days and finished the rest to day so if it’s a hot mess that’s why, love you🧎‍♀️

This was it, today was your day and you were beyond determined to make it through this day without anything messing up or stopping from you. Yes, today was the day that you planned on confessing to the prettiest boy, in your opinion, Lee Heeseung. So far, you feel pretty confident—or at least the most confident you can feel. With the letter in your hand, you linger around the lockers right before the lunch bell and pretend to listen to what your brother is saying. Jaemin was talking all nerdy to you and it was going through one ear and out the next. “Hey, listen to me when I’m talking, you’re being incredibly rude.” As he snaps his fingers at you, you swat at his hand.

“Leave me alone, I’m focusing.” He rolls his eyes, following your eyes to the boy you were so swooned for. “He’s not even that cute, if we’re comparing looks, I look better—some might even say sexy.” As he wiggles his eyebrows, you shove him aside and start to fiddle with your locker. “Ouch, that’s so rude—do I need to tell your little crush how rude you ar—OUCH!” Stomping on his foot, you give him the finger before sticking your nose into your locker. As the bell goes off, you shoo Jaemin away and put your books up. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Heeseung leaving his locker and heading down to the lunch hall. As you shut your locker, the hallway empties and you find this to be your perfect opportunity.

You try to act casual, walking across the hall and looking at the locker numbers. You’re about to slip the letter that you poured your heart into in the designated locker—that is until you hear voices coming from the end of the hall. Without paying much attention, you shove the letter in what you hope is the right locker and go on down the hallway, pretending as if you didn’t just slip a love letter in. Unbeknownst to you, the boy who was late to lunch comes flying down the hallway and accidentally bumps into you. “Shit—sorry doll face.” You didn’t get a clear look at the guy who practically ran you over, rubbing your shoulder as he ran down and disappeared into the hungry crowd of students.

You look around for your usual table where your friends are always found, skipping the line and sliding into the seat next to Yunjin. “Look who decides to join us?” Rolling your eyes, you grab half the sandwich from Chaewon’s tray and start to munch on it. “A certain someone must’ve been keeping her company.” Giselle wiggled her brows at you, leaning onto the table with her elbows propping her up. “Give her a break, she’s probably too tired to deal with you two from thinking about Heeseung all night.” Yunjin snickered, ducking down when you tried to throw your sandwich at her.

“Says the one who was stalking Chenle on his socials.” The girl beside you threw her hands over your mouth, looking over at the boy of topic to make sure he didn’t hear you. “Shh, he’s right there, unlike lover boy, he literally sits a few tables away.” You giggle into her hands, pulling them down as her face heats up in slight embarrassment. “You two are a mess, imagine simping over a man, ew.” Chaewon dramatically flipped her short hair, popping a piece of fruit into her mouth. “Aren’t you the same one who was drooling over that girl in your art class?” Giselle was more than satisfied by Chaewon’s lack of response, laughing when the other tried to steal her tray from her.

“What’s with all the giggling over there, you girls aren’t thinking of me, are you?” Jaemin stood up from his seat, smiling over at you with the most annoying grin on his face. “I can’t believe we’re related sometimes.” You mumble, avoiding his eyes in hopes he’ll leave you alone. “I can’t believe you two shared a home for nine months, you must’ve took all the right nutrients for him to come out like that.” Looking in the direction Chaewon was pointing in, you could see Jaemin and his friends sticking food in your brothers belly button and all of you were utterly disgusted. “Look y/n, I got olives for my next class!”

You were always embarrassed by your brother’s shenanigans, especially when he didn’t know how to control his volume and now half the lunch hall was looking your way. The cherry on top of it all was that Heeseung and his friends got curious about the commotion and now were looking at your table, heat rushing to your cheeks faster than you could get up from your table and try to discreetly leave the hall. Unbeknownst to you, a certain pair of eyes followed your figure from the table till you slipped between the crowd and ultimately out of his sight.

After leaving the lunch hall, you headed to your next class and lingered outside the door after stopping by your locker. You opt to wait by the door, back against the wall while looking over your notes from the previous class. In the distance, you could hear footsteps coming your way, not paying the person who was coming through any mind as you kept your nose in your book. “Hey, you’re..Na Y/n, right?” The unfamiliar voice caught your attention, looking up to see a boy who you didn’t fully recognize. You’re sure you’ve seen him around, being that he’s in your year and had been in a couple classes a couple years back, but he looks different than what you remember.

“Uh, yeah, who are you again?” The way he smiled at you made you almost feel small. “Just checking out the infamous Na twin, that’s all.” Before you could get a word in, he walked away with a grin on his face, disappearing as he turned a corner. Confused and more curious as to why he approached you, you decide that it’s best to ignore whatever that was and focus on your notes so that you’ll at least have some idea of what today’s class is about. Minutes pass by and the lunch hall starts to empty out, a crowd of students coming out into the hallways and to their lockers in batches while you await for your friends to join you at the door. When the bell finally goes off, you go inside the room and take your seat near the window where both you and Yunjin sit.

By the time you set your notebook and book down on your desk, Yunjin comes running in the class, making a direct b-line to your desk. “Hey, where were you? I waited by the door for you before class started.” Out of breath, Yunjin held herself up on her hands that were on her thighs. “I heard people whispering and I just had to stick around and get the tea.” You weren’t really surprised, sitting down as she took the seat across from you. She catches her breath, leaning towards you while signaling for you to lean in. “Okay, so I was about to leave the lunch hall and I overheard some fangirls crying about how Haechan ha-“

“Stop right there, who’s Haechung?”

“Haechan.” Yunjin corrects you, laughing as you brush off the fact that you butchered someone’s name who you didn’t even know. “Anyway, he said to this girl that he got a love letter and rejected the poor thing solely based on this supposed letter he got in his locker.” Somehow, you don’t connect the dots and pass it off as a coincidence. “Huh, good for him I guess.” With her mouth agape, Yunjin looked at you in shock. “Girl, do you even know who Haechan is?” Shaking your head, you lean back into your seat and start to open your notebook back up to where you were before class started. “He’s literally one of your brother’s best friends, they’re pretty popular around school, especially with the ladies.”

“Who’s popular with the ladies?” Looking up from your notebook, your heart immediately starts to race when you see Heeseung looking down at you with a smile. “Not you, lover boy.” Yunjin and Heeseung exchange a look before they both turn their attention back to you. “Uh, just some guy in my grade and stuff.” He nods, taking the seat in front of you, smiling at you in a way that nearly takes your breath. “Well, I hope whoever he is didn’t catch your attention, wouldn’t want someone taking my favorite window-neighbor away.” You couldn’t comprehend exactly what he was saying, only nodding at him while trying to stop yourself from drooling. He laughs a little under his breath, watching as your eyes gloss over and merely smile back.

After hearing someone calling his name, Heeseung saw his desk mate waving him down, getting up from the seat to head over to where he typically sits. “Well, I’ll see you around y/n, yunjin.” Yunjin gave Heeseung a bitter smile, clapping her hands together as he walked away before turning back to you with an obvious shift in her mood. “Ugh, I know you like him and he makes your insides liquid and all, but he still irks me.”

“I can’t believe you’re letting this grudge carry on this long.” As dramatic as Yunjin may be, she never fails to let a grudge go, especially when it comes to Heeseung. “This long, are you hearing yourself, he spread all those false rumors about me and never apologized!” She scoffs underneath her breath as she sits back in her seat. “Can’t believe you thought I’d forgive so easily, who do you take me for?” Smiling at her, you reach out and rub her shoulder as she returns the smile. “Dunno, thought you were Jaemin for a second.” Snickering as she starts hitting on your leg, your teacher gathers the attempt of the room and begins the class.

By the end of the day, classes had finished and you opted to ride home with Chaewon instead of going with your brother. When you got in the door, you could hear your brother talking on the phone as you made your way through the hallway and down to your room. Jaemin heard you come in, ending his call and following behind you with a winning look on his face. “What do you want, nana?” Slipping his phone into his pocket, he leans against your door frame, watching as you toss your bag onto your bed. “I got some friends coming over in a minute and I just wanted to tell you we’ll be in the living room.” You turn to face him, sitting on your bed and start to dig through your bag. “And before you ask, I did get mom and dad’s permission, so don’t try to rat me out.”

Jaemin left your room, disappearing somewhere down the hall and into the living room you assume. Pulling out the essentials you bring with you to school, you feel a pair of eyes looking at you which was starting to creep you out. Looking up from the pile of stuff you took out of your bag, you look over to your window to see Heeseung standing in his room. Crouched down by his window, we waves at you to come over, to which you do. After crawling off your bed and crouching down to your window, you push it open and lean against the wall with your arms crossed to prop you up. Heeseung did the same, opening his window and sitting down by it as he looked across to you.

“So, do you normally stalk your neighbors or was that just a coincidence that I literally felt you looking at me?” He laughs, a sweet laugh that immediately makes you smile. “Actually, no, I just happened to look over and saw you were free and might need some company.” Shaking your head, you miss the way he smiles at you and instead enjoy the cool breeze coming your way. “You could’ve thrown rocks at my window or I don’t know, knocked on my front door like a normal person.” He arched up an eyebrow, grinning at you which had you blushing. “Are you inviting me into your house—no wait, into your room miss y/n, because all of those options sound pretty romantic to me.”

You were sure your face was probably as red as it possibly could be, clearing your throat to try and regain your composure. “Please, if I’m getting romantic with anyone, it’d be my three-d animated boyfriend, real boys aren’t my thing.” Heeseung laughed again, man you wish you could put his laugh on repeat. “Yeah yeah, whatever floats your boat.” Both of you started snickering at one another, interrupted when a group of boys started to make their way to your house. “Got company?” Shaking your head, you let out a sigh, almost forgetting your brother had friends coming. “No, Jaemin invited his friends over and I’m planning on camping out in my bed till they’re gone.”

Heeseung nodded silently, leaning forward and letting the breeze brush against his face. You watched how the wind moved the hair that usually fell almost into his eyes fly back and exposed the beautiful features you didn’t get to see often. He must’ve sensed you looking, smiling when his eyes met yours. “I-uh, I think I’m gonna go get a snack.”

“See you tomorrow, y/n.”

After Heeseung closed his window, you sat on the floor, screaming silently into the palms of your hands. Throughout all the years you’ve lived next to him, that was probably the most you two have talked since you were kids and all you can think of is how embarrassing you might’ve looked. Opting to get a drink to maybe cool your burning cheeks, you got off the floor and closed the window before heading out your room. You could already hear how loud Jaemin and his friends were, staying silent as you went into the kitchen.

“And I swear to you bro, it was the best confession I’ve ever gotten—hands down.” Whoever was talking sounded familiar, but you weren’t trying to listen too hard and just wanted to get a cup from the cabinet. “Bro, are you sure it was for you, I mean from what I’ve heard it sounds like they barely know you.”

“That’s the exciting part, they don’t know me and when I find them, they won’t be able to resist my charm.” Okay, you were physically disgusted by whatever they were talking about. Not sure what it is about boys their age, but they were always so sure they were the shit and that was not attractive at all. “I’m telling you, if I find her I’m going to make her mine, lemme just read it to you and you’ll know.” After pouring your drink, you leaned against the counter and took a couple sips. For some reason, your curiosity got the best of you and you wanted to know where this was going.

“Lee, I know that this is unexpected, but I have been thinking about you for quite some time and I think I’m ready to finally tell you how you make me feel.” Your entire body freezes, the hairs on your arms stand as you can almost feel the color drain from your face. “I’ve been harboring these feelings for you for a long time and I want you to know how deeply I feel for you, no other has ever made me want to love someone the way you do.” Panic starts to run through your veins as you try and think of how you managed to put the letter in the wrong locker. “Maybe you’ll find out who I am, maybe you won’t, but for now I’ll remain close to you at a distance, sincerely your secret admirer.”

This wasn’t how this was supposed to go, this wasn’t supposed to happen and it wasn’t supposed to end up in the hands of whichever friend of your brothers. Thinking of how you could possibly make this situation better, the sound of your brother's voice being closer to you than you’d like makes you stiff. “Lemme see that paper, it looks kind of familiar.” All you can think of at this moment is how badly this is going to spread around your school if rumors are spread and a mental note to look into how to drop out of school. You must’ve spaced out, not realizing that someone had walked into the kitchen and was now staring at you. “Uh, can you move—I kind of need to get right there.”

“Uh—oh yeah, I’m sorry.” You manage to mumble to the boy who gave you an odd look. “Renjun, who are you—oh hey y/n, come here.” Trying your best to sneakily slip back to your room turned out to be an epic fail, hearing your brother calling out for you. When you turned around, all the eyes of the boys he had over were now on you and one in particular looked a little too familiar for your liking. “Is it urgent?” Judging by the look he gave you, you knew you had no choice but to come otherwise he’d physically move you himself. So you slowly made your way to where they were all sitting, shifting from one foot onto the other in hopes this would be over soon.

“This is y/n, she’s my sister.” Jaemin gestured to you as you awkwardly waved at everyone. “Y/n, that’s jeno—who you’ve met many times before, but the rest are Renjun and Haechan.” Jaemin pointed over to the one who you ran into in the kitchen, Renjun was his name. The other he pointed over to was grinning at you, making your stomach churn as you avoided his gaze. “Hello y/n, it’s nice to meet you.” Your eyes locked with Haechan putting all the puzzle pieces from the day together in your head. He was the one who rejected a girl for your love letter, the same guy who nearly knocked you off your feet on the way to the lunch hall. He’s been everywhere all in one day and something tells you that he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

“‘Kay, nice to meet you, if you need me nana, call me.” Jaemin could sense you weren’t comfortable, the atmosphere shifting a little as you walked out. Jeno noticed Haechan’s eyes following you, meeting his friend's eyes with a knowing glare.

The next day at school was supposed to go smoothly, that is until you filled in the girls about the situation and they all didn’t react so quietly. “What the fuck!” Chaewon’s supposed whisper was a lot louder than she anticipated, Yunjin slapping her hand over her friend's mouth to quiet her. Due to the loudness from your huddled group on the field behind the gym, people were looking over at the four of you as you and Giselle tried to play it cool. “Do you have to be so loud?” Chaewon gave you an apologetic look to which you gave her a forgiving nod. “I’m sorry, I’m just shocked that the na y/n could be so ballsy and write up her confession into a love letter.”

“Which totally backfired on her, by the way.” Giselle made sure to point out the obvious in the situation, reminding you of your biggest regret in the last twenty-four hours. “You’re telling me, he was literally eyeing me down yesterday in my living room which ruined my vibe after talking with Heeseung.” Yunjin slung her arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to her as the three of you walked around the field. “Let’s just look on the positive side, maybe Haechan won’t find out it was from you and all will be well.”

“What wasn’t from y/n?” The sound of Jeno’s voice scared you all, making you and your friends jump a little before turning around to see a very confused and sweaty Jeno. “It’s called staying out of conversations you weren’t apa—“

“Okay, let’s go little firecracker.” Giselle took Yunjin away before she said something to upset the boy who was a little amused. “Can we talk really quick, alone?” Jeno shifts his eyes between you and Chaewon, nodding to your friend as she waves back to you before leaving you two. “So, what do you want?” Jeno laughs a little, rubbing the sweat from his forehead off with his shirt. “Kinda rude for someone who I practically grew up with, Jaemin would be disappointed.”

“Yeah, well you were more of his friend than you were mine so I don’t see any problem in getting to the point.” Jeno always admired how head-strong you were. Unlike your brother, you always skipped the line and got to the root of things whereas Jaemin was more relaxed and let things come as they go. “I just wanted to see what’s up with you and Haechan.” Your heart shouldn’t have started to race, not by the likes of his name. Maybe it was because in that instance, you caught a glance of him across the field and when you looked a little too long, he locked eyes with you and smiled.

“Haechan? Nothings going on with us, I barely know him, if even that.” Jeno doesn’t seem satisfied with your answer, but you’re hoping he’ll buy it enough to let you escape the boy who is now making his way towards the two of you. “Alright, I’m just looking out for you—you’re almost like a sister to me too and I don’t want you mixing with him, he doesn’t have the best track record with girls.” Somehow you’re almost sad to hear that, not knowing why you expected anything less than him being a player, nevertheless it still made you sad. “Thanks Jeno, but I gotta go before I’m late to my next class, bye!”

Haechan was hot on your heels, almost near you and Jeno if it weren’t for you cutting the conversation short and running off before you gave him the chance to catch you. Your friends were somewhere on the other side of the field by now, but you opted to head in and get changed before Haechan got the opportunity to steal your attention. You’re running back into the building, turning a corner and nearly running into the body of an oncoming student. “Woah, slow down, what’s the rush?” After brushing your hair out from your face, you look up to see Heeseung smiling down at you as you regain your composure. “Going somewhere important?” The breath in your chest stopped for a second, raking in the beautiful features that were Heeseung’s face.

“Uh—no, I actually was just going to get changed.” He nods, turning around to walk alongside you as you go towards your locker to get your spare clothes. “Hey, I saw the guys leaving your house yesterday, are any of them anyone I should know?”

“No, not really, I mean they’re just Jaemin’s friends so I only really know Jeno and the rest I met officially yesterday.” Heeseung was quiet, watching as you opened your locker and fished through your bag to get what you needed. “Why’d you ask, is there something wrong with them?”

“No no, I was just curious, that’s all.” After closing your locker, you look up at Heeseung one last time before starting to walk backwards towards the girls shower room. “You know what they say, curiosity is the cats greatest weakness.” He laughs, watching as your face heats up from the slight embarrassment you’re feeling. “I’m more of a deer kinda guy.” Laughing yourself, you turn your back to him and leave him standing there against your locker while watching your figure become further and further away from him.

As the day progressed, more and more people were whispering about the mystery girl who sent Haechan the love letter and how he was actively looking for her. Your friends tried their best to keep news from being spread to one ear to yours, but they can’t stop every girl in class from talking about it without drawing suspicion. You were more than happy to be home after school had ended, coming into your house and dropping your bag off in your room before going into the kitchen. Searching through the fridge, you don’t find much appetizing and decide to just heat up leftovers. While the leftovers are reheating, a knock on your door surprises you.

You expect it to be one of your friends or even your brother who maybe forgot his key, instead when you open the door you’re met with a very smiley Haechan. “Jaemin isn’t home.” Immediately dropping his smile for a pout, Haechan didn’t seem pleased with your emotionless reaction to him being at your door. “I already knew that, he told me to come and wait for him till he and Jeno get home.” You give him a single nod, staring at him as he slowly curls his lips up into a grin. “So can I help you or are you just gonna stand there?”

“Inviting me in would be nice.” Rolling your eyes, you step aside and let Haechan come in, watching as he looks around as if he’d never been into your house before. “Don’t go into his room, I’m not going to be responsible for his temper if you mess with his stuff.” Ignoring you, Haechan disappeared down the hallway, leaving you in the kitchen to take out your warm leftovers and a bottle of water. Assuming he went to the bathroom or maybe came down into the living room, you take your food and go into your room to see a very comfortable Haechan sitting on your bed. “Please leave before I call the cops.” Haechan smiled at you, leaning back onto his elbows as he looked around your room. “You invited me in, so technically you’d be wasting your time calling them.”

“Should I call Nana instead?” Wincing, Haechan got off your bed with a smack of his lips and slowly made his way around your room. “Why are you still here, I thought I told you to leave.” Ignoring you, he pulled your chair out from your desk and plopped down into it. By this time, you knew there was no getting rid of him and you were too hungry to even care. Too caught up into the food in front of you, you failed to realize Haechan went stiff as he fiddled with the materials on your desk. Picking up the notebook on your desk, his fingers grazed across the paper as his heart started to beat rapidly against his chest. Something in you told you to look up, feeling your stomach drop as you watched him study the paper in his hands. Immediately getting up from your bed, you grab the notebook from his hands with flushed cheeks as he stays still, looking down at his empty hands.

“Y/n, I’m home! Is Haechan here?”

Your brother’s voice echoed into your room, the tension between the two of you made the room go quiet. “Y/n, did Hae—oh, what’s going on?” Jaemin was more than confused to see you staring down at Haechan with a pink tinted face. Haechan, who still didn’t move until his friend's voice brought him back in, blinked a little before getting up from the chair and left your room without a word. Jaemin was genuinely confused, tilting his head at you. You already knew he wanted to know if you were okay, to which you gave him a nod and he left it at that. The rest of the night that the boys were down in the living room, you stayed in your room and hoped that the earth would swallow you whole at any second.

Since that night, it had been a couple weeks that passed and to say that things were awkward at first would be an understatement. Haechan wouldn’t look you directly in the eye the first couple days following, not that you really cared—but it did leave you feeling a little uneasy at first. When you finally think that maybe all would go back to normal, Haechan started to become a little bolder anytime you were near and to say it made you flustered was also an understatement. Not sure if it’s the lack of romantic—not that you’re calling him romantic—interaction you’ve had with boys up until this point or if it’s the pure charismatic side of him that’s rubbing off onto you each time he attempts a bad joke, but you’ve almost grown accustomed to him being around now.

Your friends on the other hand don’t like it too much, Yunjin advising you to watch how close you get with him and for once rooting for Heeseung. Giselle just wants you to be happy whereas Chaewon thinks Haechan is a cute match for you and thinks you’d be cute with him. You don’t know why you’re daydreaming about either of the boys when you should be focusing on the class you’re in, but what snaps you out of it are the girls whispering not-so-quietly behind you. “I heard that Lee Haechan is going to ask the girl who wrote him the love letter a couple weeks ago to the Valentine’s Day dance.”

“No way, he knows who it is?” You can only imagine the girl shrugged. “Dunno, I think it’s someone who he dated in the past or even someone who he’s known for a while.”

“Really? I’ve heard it’s one of his friend’s friend, but none of them really have female friends, all I can think of is Jaemin’s sister.” You assume they were trying to whisper the last part a little quieter, but they weren’t exactly achieving that. “Whoever it is, they sure are lucky, I mean having both Lee’s of the school being cuffed for Valentine’s Day is a first.”

“Both Lee’s? You’re not talking about Heeseung are you, because if you are I’m going to be devastated.” You felt almost guilty for listening to them, but you pretty much didn’t have a choice and pretended to take notes as they carried on. “Girl, I’ve heard from this girl who was hooking up with Jake that Heeseung told him that he’s planning on asking his longtime crush out for the dance!”

You must haven’t been the only one to hear them, seeing as your teacher loudly cleared their throat which caught the attention of both the girls. The rest of the class went by relatively smoothly, but the thought of Heeseung asking another girl out for the dance really made your heart hurt a little bit.

“What’s on your mind?”

You had been back at home, sitting on your front stairs as the storm clouds started to brew in. “Dunno, just thinking.” Heeseung joined you, sitting beside you as the two of you watched the sky turn from blue to a dark grayish. “You know what I’ve been thinking about?”

“Hm?”

“I’ve been thinking about the Valentine’s Day dance.” Heeseung smiled at you, just a little, but it was enough to bring a smile onto your lips. “Oh really? Speaking of that dance, I’ve heard that you’re planning on asking someone to go with you?” He shrugs nonchalantly, pushing his hair back as you laugh and give him a slight shove. “Don’t be so cocky, it’s not a good look on you.”

“But it is on Haechan, right?”

You’re taken aback by his words, falling silent before looking up at him confused. “Where did that come from?” With a heavy sigh, his shoulders roll forward and he shrugs. “Dunno, you two seem to be getting close, just thought there was something going on between you two.” Looking down at your hands, you ponder on whether you two are getting close. Yes, you did hang around your brother and his friends a little more often than usual, but that wasn’t directly for Haechan—was it? “Nah, we just talk because he’s always at my house.”

“Speaking of always being at someone’s house, you sure are always at mine when yours is right next door.” Jaemin was staring down at Heeseung, no sign of emotion on his face while Haechan leaned from behind your brother to send a smile your way. “Yeah, I should get going—I, uh, I’ll talk to you tomorrow instead, y/n.” Just like that, Heeseung got up and left you alone to be completely furious with your brother. “What the hell was that?” Jaemin rolled his eyes at you, walking past you as you got up from the stairs and followed him inside. “Don’t start with me y/n, I don’t wanna do this with you right now.” Genuinely confused and more frustrated, you slam the door behind you and follow him into the hallway.

“Don’t start what, nana, how about you don’t start shit with my friends like I don’t start with yours.” Jaemin scoffed, physically moving his body as he rolled his eyes. “Please, don’t you think it’s a little weird that he’s always around the house and if he’s not by our front door, he’s all out his window trying to talk to you.”

“You’re saying this like it’s a problem, your friends are always in our house taking up our space and eating everything in our fridge and you have the nerve to complain about our neighbor?” The two of you got into a pretty heated argument that ultimately was put out by your mom. Jaemin claimed the living room, seeing that his friends were still outside due to the tension between you two and you went back outside to get fresh air as the other two boys went inside, leaving you and Haechan under the darkened clouds.

“Hey, I don’t know if this is the right time, but I was wondering if we can talk?” Letting out the heavy breath you didn’t know you were holding in, you nod and Haechan sits down on the steps as you do the same. He fiddles with his fingers for a while as you let the breeze brush against you and relax your mind. “The letter I got, the one I found in my locker a couple weeks ago, that was you wasn’t it?” You could feel the hairs rise on your arms, your mouth suddenly going dry as you choose not to look at his dejected face. “And it wasn’t meant for me..was it?” For some reason, the sadness lingering in his tone made your heart hurt more than it should’ve.

“No—it wasn’t for you.” Just as his head hung, a downpour of rain started and the two of you didn’t bother to move. Maybe it was the emotional stress of all that has been going on, maybe it was because of the sudden comforting feeling of sitting beside him with only the sound of rain filling in the space that silence once occupied. Whatever it was, you felt all aspects of your guard coming down and let everything you’ve kept to yourself out. “I’ve liked him for so long, ya know, that I thought that maybe if I just tell him about how I feel then he’d feel the same way.” You didn’t have to elaborate, Haechan already knew from what he’s seen of your interactions with Heeseung that the boy next door was the one of your interest.

“Surprise surprise, it didn’t even get to him and I’m pretty sure if it did, he’d reject me.” Haechan lifted his head, looking over at you with somber eyes. Trying to fight back the urge of crying in front of him like a child, you sucked in the tears that were threatening to fall down your cheeks and focused your attention on the rain coming down in front of you. “How about we test that theory?” Looking over at him, he was clearly thinking of something that could possibly end in the worst way. Somehow, that didn’t scare you away from the curiosity that was the thoughts in his mind. “And how exactly are we gonna do that?”

“Take my hand and find out.” This should’ve been your sign to just go inside and pretend that this wasn’t happening, that the thought of taking his hand didn’t ignite a fire in you that you never knew you had. Instead of listening to yourself, you let your heart's unwanted beating lead the way and put your hand into his. He guided you from underneath the shelter of the porch and into the rain which at first wasn’t the most pleasant experience. “What does catching a cold have to do with testing if he likes me or not?” Haechan was more than amused by your not so happy expression as the rain got heavier, leaving the two of you drenched in a matter of seconds.

“Dance with me.” You weren’t sure if he was delusional or just downright crazy, both sounding like the best description of him at this moment. “Are you crazy, I don’t get how th-“

“Just dance with me y/n, for once stop thinking about anything else and dance with me.” Looking down at your hand in his, you decided to trust him, even if it meant you’d regret it later. Taking a couple steps forward, you were shocked when Haechan lifted your hand and spun you around, earning a laugh from the both of you. Pulling you in, he rested both of his arms around your waist as you wrap yours around his neck. The two of you slowly rock back and forth as the rain doesn’t show signs of letting up anytime soon. “How long are we supposed to stay out here exactly?” He hums against your shoulder, sending chills down your spine. “Until he’s jealous enough to realize he’s missing out on an amazing girl.”

About to question him, you realize in the midst of dancing that Heeseung was watching the two of you from his house and somehow it didn’t make you feel the way you’d thought it did. “Guess we’ll have to stay out here forever.” Haechan laughed, lifting his head up to lock eyes with you. The view of his honey skin up close combined with the water dripping off the tips of his hair alone was enough to have your heart skyrocketing. The cherry on top of the cake was the little moles scattered across his face that you could only view close up that made the warmth of your cheeks turn a shade of pink. “Fine by me, I like the view from here better than I did before.” With your fingers playing through the back ends of his hair, you slowly started to pull him closer, hoping that the softness of his lips would collide with yours. Unfortunately for you, your brother opened the door and called out for his friend, wondering where he had gone.

“Haechan, where are you—oh.” Instantly separating, both you and Haechan created a great distance between one another as you both awkwardly looked at Jaemin with flushed faces. “I, uh, the boys wanted you to know it’s your turn..on the game.” Without word, Haechan walked into your house and you followed behind him, ignoring the weird looks the two of you got from everyone in the room. Running to your room and shutting the door, you locked yourself in until your mom later told you the boys had left and a very awkward moment between you and Jaemin was felt by your parents during dinner. Afterwards, you got ready for bed and got on call with the girls to fill them in about the day you’ve had and prepare yourself for the day to follow.

The days that followed were not what you expected them to be. Haechan seemed to be avoiding you more than you thought he would whereas Heeseung was always around the corner and ready to spark conversation at any time. While you sit at the table with your friends in the lunch hall, your mind wanders off to your brother's table and your focus is on the boy whose laugh could be heard from a mile away. Your friends were too used to your spacing out to try and bring you back into the conversation, instead opting to watch you in a sad silence.

Heeseung made his way to your table instead of his, smiling down at you when you came back and saw him beside you. “What’s wrong?” Shaking your head, you dodge his question and instead push the tray away from you. “Nothing, just not feeling the lunch they served today.” Nodding, Heeseung nervously looks around for his friends who were silently rooting him on from across the hall. “Well, I was wondering if you still planned on going to the Valentine’s Day dance this weekend?”

“I guess, I mean I haven’t really thought much about it.” Overhearing your conversation, the girls all lean in and smile at the way Heeseung is looking at you. “Actually, we went dress shopping last week and y/n got the perfect dress.” Chaewon said proudly, propping her chin up onto her hands. “It’s pink, by the way, imagine a blush pink.” Yunjin adds in, winking at Heeseung as he nods knowingly at her. “Sounds like I’m going to go find a matching tie to go with your dress.” Shocked, you look at Heeseung with a confused expression as he then stands up with his friends rushing behind him. “Uhm—what are y—what’s going on?” By now, most of the lunch hall was looking over at your table and the embarrassment on your face was pretty evident.

“Na y/n, would you be my date to the Valentine’s Day dance—which in return is me asking you to be my valentine?” Overwhelmed was one way to put how you were feeling. The flowers his friends were holding along with the sign they passed to Heeseung and the pink tent of his face all made you feel persuaded that you should say yes. If you had asked yourself months ago what you would say in this instance, you’d immediately agree because this was a day you had been waiting for since you first met Heeseung and it almost saddens you how conflicted you are. Looking around the hall and seeing the sadness on Haechan’s face masked by the smile he wore, you didn’t know if your answer should’ve been swayed by a boy who didn’t even look in your direction since the near kiss experience.

“Uh, I—Heeseung, can we talk about this later?” A sea of ‘oohs’ and hushed whispers started to spread amongst the ones who were watching it all go down. If he was hurt, Heeseung sure didn’t show it as he gave you the same smile he always gave you and handed you over your flowers. “Of course, you know where to find me when you’re ready to talk.” Heeseung was sweet, probably one of the sweetest boys you’ve ever met, but your heart was begging you to clear the air before everyone gets hurt in the end and that’s exactly what you wanted to do. By the time you looked back over at your brother's table, all of his friends were still there, watching your reaction except the one person you’d hoped to see was now gone.

Sitting back down in your seat, all your friends looked at you in shock as you set the flowers down on the table. “I can’t believe you just rejected that man, in front of everyone!” Yunjin, like always, was the first one to say what was on her mind, but we’re not surprised. “It’s because of Haechan, isn’t it?” You didn’t have the courage to meet Giselle’s eyes, giving them all the answers they already knew. Pulling you in, they all gave you a hug from over the table and beside you as your jumbled up thoughts tried to sort themselves out.

When lunch was over and you walked back to your locker, you noticed everyone in the hallway was giving you strange looks and some even whispering amongst themselves when you passed by. Trying to keep your head up, you opened your locker and started to take out the necessary things for your next class when a note fell out. It was in a pink envelope, a heart sticker keeping it closed and it had your name on it when you flipped it over. Seeing how everyone was watching you, you shove it in your bag and opt to open it when you get home. Unfortunately for you, the stares and whispering didn’t let up and by the time you got home, you finally felt like you had some peace.

Instead of going straight inside, you walked around your house and saw Heeseung playing in his backyard with a couple of his friends from earlier. “Hey, ready for that talk?” Heeseung and the others looked your way, a smile being brought upon Heeseung’s lips when he saw you. “Yeah—Jake, tell Jay I’ll be in soon.” Jake gave him a nod and tiredly went inside, leaving you and Heeseung alone. “So, what’s up?” Walking over to the old swing-set he still had, you sit down and laugh at how far down it is to the ground. “Can’t believe we used to fight over whose feet would touch the ground first.” Heeseung joined you, smiling down at his legs before looking over at you. “Yeah, can’t believe you still beat me when I’m literally almost a foot taller than you now.”

“Don’t let the air up there go to your head.” The two of you laughed and reminisced for a moment until you both grew quiet and the lingering questions in the air were waiting to be answered. “I used to like you, a lot actually.” He didn’t meet your eyes, nor did you look in his direction, instead he remained quiet and let you say what you needed to say. “I don’t know exactly when it started, but one day I just couldn’t stop thinking about you and over all these years I never thought I’d be here, saying no to the one thing I always dreamed of.”

“You can’t control how you feel, y/n, if it wasn’t him, it was going to be someone else that caught your eye and unfortunately I was just too late.” Nodding, you felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness wash over you as you got up from his swing. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, I promise you I’m going to be happy as long as you’re happy.” The two of you hugged, embracing one another into a tight squeeze to savor the moment that you both knew was coming. The definition of your friendship would now never be the same, but in the same way it was a beautiful thing to come, even if it broke both of your hearts. “I’m always right next door if he does anything stupid, I mean it, literally throw a brick through my window if he doesn’t treat you right.”

“Don’t you mean you’ll throw a brick through his window if he doesn’t treat me right?” Looking up at him as you two pull back from the hug, he laughs at how he almost doesn’t make sense. “Whichever comes first, just know that a brick will be involved.” Laughing, you wave him goodbye and go back to your house. It was quiet when you got inside, knowing that Jaemin was home. Going straight to your room, you felt that it was safe to now let everything you’ve been bottling up now out, all the times you’ve felt so alone and not wanting to go to anyone was now tumbling out and the tears rolled down your cheeks. Jaemin knew, he always knew when you were sad and he immediately went into your room, meeting you on the floor and scooping you into his arms.

He always said it was a twin thing, how he knew you were sad and how you knew when he was sad. Somehow, after all these years, it still stuck with you both and despite this being the first time you’ve really interacted since your argument, it felt the most comforting. That night the two of you laid up on the couch watching movies of your childhood and ordered in once your parents got home. It was almost therapeutic to spend some quality time with your brother and even if he didn’t ask any questions, you knew he already had the answers he needed.

Later that night, you laid in bed and pondered over if you should read the letter that was left in your locker. Finally deciding on what harm it could possibly do, you got it out from your bag and opened it up. To your surprise, it was written similarly to yours and that in itself was a clue to who this could’ve been from. ‘Dearth favorite na twin, I’m writing this on the same day I found out you were the one who wrote the letter I got. Honestly, it hurt to know it wasn’t directed for me, but somehow I feel the universe knew what it was doing when it wound up in my locker. I regret not kissing you and I regret even more not talking to you afterwards, but maybe I can make up for it by asking you to be my date to the dance. Don’t answer now, answer when the time is right and if you don’t answer at all, I’ll take that as a yes. Love, your secret admirer.’

That night you held the letter to your chest, listening to your own heart beating to the thought of Haechan and rethinking over and over in your head how this all started and where it was now. Although it’s been a bit of an emotional roller coaster, you don’t think you’d change anything and probably for the first time in your life you were looking forward to the dance.

The following days didn’t change much, people still gave you a look in the halls, but Heeseung and you were still pretty friendly both in school and out. It was now the weekend and the Valentine’s Day dance was tonight. To say you were nervous was an understatement, but the girls reassured you that they’d be by your side the entire night. Jaemin advised you to get ready at one of the girls' houses since his friends planned to be at yours and he knew you weren’t ready to see Haechan just yet. Thankfully for you, Giselle said you could all come to her house and the four of you spent the night that Friday and got up early the next morning to prepare yourselves.

“I say we drop our dates and take our little y/nie instead.” Yunjin gave your cheeks a squeeze, mushing your face with her fingers which earned a laugh from Giselle and Chaewon. After swatting her fingers away, you rub out the sore spots. “I told you that I’ll be fine, no one is dropping anything for anybody unless it’s on the dance floor.” Chaewon smacked your arm with a pillow, giggling as she fell over into your lap trying to do so. “That’s so wrong, don’t ever say anything like that again, I swear Jaemin is rubbing off on you.”

“Hello, they’re literally twins, it’d be weird if he didn’t.” Chaewon playfully glared at Giselle's matter of fact statement. “Speaking of twins, your brother wants us to do a group photo when we’re done.” You nod at Yunjin as she grabs her makeup bags and lays them out. She made sure to point out which products she thought would complement each of you, not forgetting her speech about how women don’t need makeup to feel pretty and overall her importance about empowering women. The three of you all looked at her with a smile, knowing she’d go far in life with the way she carries herself. “Enough of that, let’s get some breakfast and some lipstick because we are not ruining this lipstick for a taco later.”

After the three of you headed downstairs and munched away on a late lunch-breakfast, you went back upstairs and took turns showering before getting ready. Meanwhile, back at your house, the boys sat in your living room and played games all afternoon, per usual. “What do you think it’s going to be like tonight?” Renjun, who was seated next to Jeno, asked as he scrolled through his socials and saw the different pictures of people from school getting ready. “Probably lovesick, pink and sparkly.”

“Hey, don’t judge pink, my sister is wearing pink tonight.” Jaemin whipped his head around quick enough to shoot a glare at Jeno. “Half the student-body is going to be wearing pink, it’s literally a valentines dance.” Haechan added in, groaning loudly when he ended up losing his spot in the game and switched out with Jeno. “Speaking of a certain Na twin, she’s been quiet today, is she home?” Renjun asked out of curiosity, not missing the sadness it brought his friend. “No, she stayed at Giselle’s house and they’re getting ready there.”

“They?” Jeno asked, needing clarification. “Giselle, Chaewon, Yunjin and Y/n.” All the boys turned to give Haechan a weird look, the boy giving a shrug in return. “How do you know all my sister's friends' names?” Jaemin asked, raising a brow at Haechan. “She mentioned them when we would pass one another, nothing much about it.” The other three all knew he was bullshitting, not believing him for a second as they snicker amongst themselves. “Bro, we all know you like her, you don’t have to hide it.” Renjun was the first to say what everyone was thinking, making Haechan’s face turn red. “Shut up, I don’t like her—even if I did, she’s my best friend's sister, I’m not that kinda guy.” Jaemin frustratedly throws his controller down into his seat, switching out with Renjun and sitting beside Haechan.

“I know you’re not and I respect you for that, as much as I never thought I’d say this, just date my sister already.” Haechan was more than taken aback by Jaemin’s words, looking at him with wide eyes. “She’s really been down with you not around and I know for a fact that she likes you back.”

“And how are you so sure?” Jeno joins in, looking way too concentrated on the game to be butting in on a conversation. “It’s a twin thing, take that knowledge as you will.” The rest of the evening until they had to get dressed went without you being the topic of conversation, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t leave Haechan’s mind. With the knowledge he now had, he knew exactly what he needed to do when he saw you tonight and it starts out by getting to the dance early.

After you and the girls finished getting dressed, doing your hair and applying minimal makeup, it was time to head out and off to the dance you went after taking way too many pictures for your brother and parents. You were partly nervous to see Haechan in the crowd, but you kept telling yourself to keep it cool if you did. Keep it cool, how hard could that be? Very hard actually, seeing as the moment you walked in, he was near the entrance and looked way too good for your liking. Looking around, Haechan was impatiently waiting for you to arrive, a feeling of relief washing over him when he finally sees you. Your eyes lock with his and for a moment, he can’t seem to catch the breath you took from him. He doesn’t do well in math, but with the light hitting you in just the right spot and you overall looking breathtaking, it’s all adding up in his head how down bad he is for you.

Moving through the people coming in, he directly goes to you and gently grabs your hand. “Hi.” Smiling up at him, you can see the slight shade of pink in his cheeks. “Hi, hyuck.” If he were to fall out and go to heaven now, he would honestly be content with the use of a nickname from you for him. “Wanna take pictures with me?” Nodding, you let him lead you over to the photographer and a sudden sense of deja vu rushed over you as you think back to the day you two danced in the rain. Standing in line, the two of you were next up and after getting in a recommended position, your first picture of the night was taken. “Another one, this time, show me you’re in love.” Nodding at the photographer's second suggestion, you turn your head to Haechan who was leaning in. You weren’t sure where this was going, but you closed your eyes and braced yourself for whatever was going to happen. When his soft lips were met with your forehead, the picture was taken and the both of you left with red cheeks and racing hearts.

The lights weren’t dark just yet, but they were starting to dim as you two lingered around the dance floor. You spotted Heeseung from across the room and he sent you a thumbs up as you held Haechan’s hand. “Alright, let’s kick things off tonight with a special request from a certain someone who’s ready to tell his girl how he feels.” Haechan looked way too nervous to not have anything to do with the random song request as he led you out to the middle of the dance floor. Some students started to step back and give the two of you space as a single light shines down on you both. It started to feel like a movie, only this time it was your life. “Na Y/n, I’ve been waiting for this answer for quite some time now and if it hasn’t been obvious, I’m head over heels for you, so will you do me the honor and be my date to the valentines dance?”

You were sure your face was just as pink as your dress, covering your mouth to hide the fact that it was hung open. “Yes, I’d love to be your date.” As dramatic as it sounds, people clapped around you and when the song started to play, you took his hand and pulled him into your arms. The two of you slow-danced to songs that had your heart melting against his warm touch and the songs that were a little more upbeat was the perfect opportunity for you to ditch your date and dance amongst your friends while all of you smiled back at the boys who watched in envy. After the first couple of hours, you were ultimately exhausted and stepped off the floor to go get something to drink.

Haechan followed behind you, stopping at the drink station while you took the time to rehydrate. “Do you hear that?” He mumbled, staring off at the entrance which also doubled as the exit. “Hear what, hyuck?” A slow grin formed amongst his lips before he grabbed your hand and started to walk away. “Where are we going, hyuck I’m still thirsty!” You tried to protest with him, pulling him back to the station. After thinking you had won, you took another sip before being swept off your feet—literally. Haechan had scooped you up bridal style and started running out the exit with a childlike smile on his face. “Lee Haechan put me dow—oh!” When the two of you were now outside, you realized why he was so eager to come out and immediately started laughing as the two of you felt your clothes soaking up the rain that was falling down.

Putting you down, he immediately pulled you against him and held your waist. “I’m not gonna make the same mistakes I did before.” Smiling softly at him with your hands resting on his shoulders, you rub at his neck. “Making up for lost time, I guess.” He shook his head, laughing under his breath before leaning in and connecting his lips to yours. The feeling felt almost electric, a spark going through your body and spreading chills across your skin. You never knew a kiss, a simple kiss could captivate you the way it is now. Maybe it was because the two of you had longed for this for too long and a mix of the rain and the salt from your sweat coming down onto your lips, whatever it was, you knew you’d made the right decision the day you wrote a failed attempt at a love letter. Even if it didn’t end up in the right locker number, locker #66 would forever be your favorite.

©︎𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍., 2022

[spaceyflowerswriting]

Hey i came across your lookism stuff today thought you write beautifully. I saw that the requests are open and I'd like to request vasco x reader relationship headcanons. stuff like how they fell for each and came to be in relationship and how vasco is as a boyfriend. all of their first times with each other. (First date, first kiss, first fight and first time sleeping together [last one this is optional])

thank you 🌸

vasco relationship headcanons

details: gender neutral reader, general canon au

warning: very minor spice below the read more cut! (i'm so sorry if you meant "sleeping together" in an innocent way but i assumed you didnt ??? 😭😭😭)

a/n: beautifully is such a nice word to use thank u,,, T_T and also thanks for this request <3

×

> i'd imagine the most likely scenario would be for you to be a student of j high and just encountering vasco often! lots of short meetings that eventually turn into long convos and hanging together outside of school; the classic friends to lovers <3

> everyone in vasco's eyes are good unless he hears or see that someone's done bad things, but you can bet the second jace notices you with vasco often, he's going to do a little background checking

> after jace confirms everything is well, he tries to stay out of yours and vasco's relationship because really it's none of his business but y'know how it is... he's vasco's babysitter. i gotta say tho eventually it turns into him trying to save you from vasco's antics LMAO

> anyways yeah once you're involved with vasco, you're involved with burn knuckles. whether you commit to joining or not, you're a part of the family!

> while you have your own reasons and timing for falling for vasco, his process is rather slow and yes, he is dense to any signs you might show. for him, it's all the little things that build up over time (acts of kindness, sharing snacks, hand holding) and the realization hits him like a truck at 2 am as he sits up in bed and thinks, "are friends supposed to feel this way???"

> with the help and encouragement of his buddies, he comes to the conclusion he loves you, and eventually with their cheering, he's able to confess (unless you beat him to it, of course, in which case he would reply the same by scooping you up into a hug and spinning you around <3)

> dating him in the beginning... he's like. a perfect mix of a nervous wreck and a very confident man. some days he's a stuttering mess, other days he's leading you by the hand with a shiny grin ✨

> what you can always expect, though, is him being a supportive golden retriever boyfriend 💖 he'd do anything for you, whether it be running to a store late at night to get something for you or literally running to your house 123456789 miles away just to take care of you if you're sick

> other things he'd keep consistent: being physically affectionate with you, being proud to be your boyfriend and proud to call you his partner, and his chivalry/gentlemanly acts (this has more to do with how he feels as a man rather than anything with your gender!)

> by the time he grows comfortable with dating, he's honestly just like your best friend and boyfriend ^_^ always taking you on fun dates and making sure you're smiling, even if it's from laughing at him doing dumb stuff <3 also would bring up marriage pretty early and whatever happens is up to u lol

bonus first times bc i think u wrote fun prompts 💘

first date: considering you've been his friend for a while, vasco would've already taken you to the restaurant he eats at with his friends that he took that one blind date girl to so he'd try something new like an interactive zoo :] if you're afraid of aninals, hopefully you would enjoy a nice walk around a lake instead!

first kiss: ever since vasco began dating you, this was what he anticipated the most. it'd keep him up many nights because of how nervous it made him and he'd google "how to kiss someone" and "when to kiss someone," as well as ask all his friends and others for advice, but eventually the kiss came naturally--and by accident. he had kissed you out of excitement and because you returned the energy, he hadn't even realized what he did until jace teased him for it. after that, he shyly asked if he could continue kissing your lips, and that was that <3

first fight: it's absolutely devasting for poor vasco. he knew relationships had ups and downs but he never imagined a fight would happen with him and you. but if anything, after patching up, it taught him to stop putting you on a pedestal and to be more realistic if he wanted to make the relationship work, rather than continue to live in a romanticist's daydream.

first time sleeping together: vasco never even once thought about sleeping with you simply because it's not something on his mind, but that one time you sat a little too comfortably in his lap, he Remembered™ That Thing Lovers Do and felt super embarrassed. there's a low chance this would happen naturally, but if it does, he'd be super awkward but very gentle, making sure to constantly check for your consent; otherwise you'd have to lead the way!

[emeowwww-blog]

Fyolai ~ Shortfic + oneshot "I think I can love you"

This is the first writing thing I have ever posted here ._.

im sorry i wrote this in 30 mins it makes absolutely no sense UwU

No NSFW (Sadge /j) BUT some TWs apply: Mentions of past trauma, mentions of gore, mentions of death.

WC: 1833 (Ik its short im sorrryyyyyyy)

THERE WILL BE SOME RUSSIAN IN THIS STORY BC I LITERALLY CAN'T WRITE FYOLAI W/ OUT USING MY LANGUAGE (I HC them using both formal and familiar "you" so shhhhhhh) Just trust that it isn't that important to the story translate it if u want~

"I think I can love you."

~

‘Love’ was a word that Fyodor didn’t understand. It was overused. The Greeks had some greater idea of love, with words for different types. As for now, present day, love could be used for anything from appreciation, to desire, to lust, to joy. Love, the emotion, was perhaps the hardest to understand. Fyodor had never felt love for another person. His mother always told him how much ‘love’ she felt for his father. He heard teenagers talking about loving this boy, or this girl. Love was not an emotion he was capable of feeling. 

It had been this way for decades. No matter how many people claimed to love him, he turned them all away. Looking back, there was one person he had accepted into his life. 

One person who he allowed himself to befriend.

But that wasn’t love. That was tolerance.

Loving Nikolai Gogol was not a possibility in the slightest.

“Dos-kunnnnnnn~” Nikolai whined over his shoulder. “Stop pacing!”

“Вы сука- quiet, Nikolai.” Fyodor waved the man’s words away. “I’m thinking.”

“But it’s midnight!”

“And this is exactly why I was hesitant to share a room with you.”

Second of course is that he would likely kill me in my sleep…

Death at least seemed like an upgrade from life. Nikolai had expressed his urge to kill Fyodor before. It wouldn’t be long before he attempted again.

“Fine then. I’ll sing myself to sleep~”

“No-”

‘Спи, младенец мой прекрасный,

Баюшки-баю.

Тихо смотрит месяц ясный

В колыбель твою.

Стану сказывать я сказки,

Песенку спою;

Ты ж дремли, закрывши глазки,

Баюшки-баю.’

“Stop it.”

Nikolai continued his odd rendition of Cossack.

По камням струится Терек,

Плещет мутный вал;

Злой чечен ползет на берег,

Точит свой кинжал;

Но отец твой старый воин,

Закален в бою:

Спи, малютка, будь спокоен,

Баюшки-баю~

He ended his song on a long note, slightly changing the meaning of the sound. Nikolai’s voice wasn’t exactly professional, but it was soothing. More soothing than Fyodor would have liked it to be.

The Cossack was one of the only memories from his childhood. Its notes were seared into his brain, along with the voice of his mother singing it every night. She would say, ‘Спи, федецчка, будь спокоен, Баюшки-баю.’ for the last line, a smile on her face.

That smile was now gone. 

The new grin he saw every day belonged to a man. A man dressed in white and black with multicolored eyes.

“Dos-kunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~ come to bed nowwww~”

“Not after that, clown.”

“Come onnnn, you know you love me~”

For some reason, the joke broke his stoic demeanor.

“Like I could ever love someone, let alone you!”

The night was spent restless, memories of that desecrated church, the worshippers coughing up blood, Fyodor standing at the altar with a face lacking emotion. They deserved to die, and yet he still had horrific dreams about it every night. Dreams where Nikolai was in the crowd, where the blood covering his well-worn ushanka was not his, but that of the boy in white. 

In these dreams, Nikolai was the only person left standing, crimson dripping from his nose, mouth, and eyes. He would smile, and say something. The words were always unintelligible, his throat filling with blood. 

Crime and Punishment didn’t only affect the criminal like its name suggested. Anybody who ingested the poison flowing through the veins of Fyodor Dostoyevsky could be brought down with a wave of a hand. Including the people he cared for. 

Today, the dreams changed.

He sat in the first pew, carefully counting and recounting the 33 buttons on the Priest’s coat. Likely made of pure gold. The eyes of the worshippers around him were glazed over, their minds lost and withered to a spell. Everything was methodical and repeated. 

Like usual, Fyodor opened the bible in front of him to recite along with the Priest. 

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

The same line. Romans 8:38-39. At the same time as usual, Holy Communion was announced. Fyodor stood up and volunteered to help. A single drop of his blood was added to the wine chalice. The wine and bread was passed around.

Once the Priest drank, Fyodor activated his ability, standing behind the altar. A shriek rang out from the back pew, and people began to clutch their throats as blood poured from their lips. The man beside him coughed up the foul red liquid. The plan had succeeded, yet Fyodor felt no joy. There was no happiness or sadness from killing. It was simply meant to be.

A boy stumbled out from the dark space behind the pews. A boy dressed in white, with multicolored eyes. Blood dripped from his face and onto the floor. 

“Nikolai?” Fyodor asked, horror seeping into his expression.

Nikolai smiled, crimson welling up like tears. Or maybe they were tears, stained red. They ran down his cheeks from his eyes. He appeared to be crying.

“What did you do? Did you take the poison?” The dark haired boy ran down the steps, clutching his wooden cross. 

Nikolai nodded. 

“No.” Fyodor grabbed Nikolai’s hands, shaking them, “You didn’t.”

Nikolai smiled again. But this time, instead of failing to speak his final words, they escaped from his throat.

“I love you Fedya. I always will.”

Fyodor awoke to moonlight streaming across the floor upon which he laid. He had refused to share the only bed in the room with Nikolai after his outburst. Why the inn couldn’t supply them with a double room, he didn’t know. His anger was silly. The word love shouldn’t trigger such a reaction out of a grown man. It shouldn’t be a product of his nightmares. 

And yet here he was, trembling from a dream already fading away. The voice of child-Nikolai echoing in his ears. 

I love you Fedya, I always will.

How tempted he was to say he loved him back. A temptation that he had never felt an inkling of before. Did the dream change because of what Nikolai had said just before he fell asleep? No. He wasn’t able to love. He wasn’t able to love Nikolai, and he never would. His longing was an illusion. An illusion where the only cure was denial. 

Denial led to spending the rest of the night lying awake on the floor until the first light. His eyes closed, the glow from the sun placating his nightmares.

“Dos-kun? Wake up~ you’re shivering.”

Nikolai hovered over Fyodor’s half-conscious form, waving his hand in front of his eyes.

“Are you sick?” He pressed his fingers to the man’s forehead, murmuring at the heat spreading into the tips, through his gloves. “Seems so.”

“Nnnnhh… stop…” Fyodor whispered. He didn’t get sick, yet it was hard to deny the lethargy that spread through his joints as he lay on the floor. “I’m not sick… Nikolai-”

“Shhhhh.” The white clothed man swiped the pad of his thumb across the other’s lips, effectively silencing the feeble protests. “Let me care for you.” 

Nikolai was acting rather differently from usual, but Fyodor was much too exhausted to question it. Placing a damp cloth on his forehead after transporting him to the single bed, Nikolai rested his hand on the other’s. 

Warm and cold, yin and yang. Their hands fit like they were made for eachother. And as Fyodor drifted in and out of sleep, his grip on the other became tighter. 

“Don’t let go of me.”

Nikolai’s face contorted in surprise, but he sat back down nevertheless. Fyodor was his reason for living, and making him feel comforted and happy was his ultimate goal. The only thing left was to get Fyodor to tell him he loved him. He must love him. He had to. Nikolai loved him, so why wouldn’t Fyodor love him back? Wasn’t that how it worked? It seemed that way on the television. If the main female loved the main male, then he loved her back automatically. Female and male…

Fyodor slept through the day, mumbling odd prayers and lines from the bible in his delirium. Nikolai couldn’t pick out many words, as he seemed to be reverting back to his northern Russian dialect, softer spoken.

Until he recognized one:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Followed by a name:

“Don’t die, Kolya”

No. Fyodor claimed he had forgotten that. Claimed he had left the event in the past. He gripped the sick man’s hand tighter, willing their skin to meld together, to switch bodies and end his suffering. Nikolai knew the nightmares personally. If Fyodor, his Fedya, was still experiencing them now, how long had they been plaguing him?

“Fedya, wake up” The man tried to shake the other awake. “Please wake up. Nothing will hurt you. I’m here.”

No response.

“Please. I promise I'm here. I’m not dead.”

One word left Fyodor’s lips, “...Что?”

The language of their childhood that they rarely spoke in conversation anymore. They used it to talk in secret, not uttering more than a few words. Occasionally to annoy the other (Nikolai’s singing). But never personally, too many memories surfaced.

The song.

It elicited a reaction before, but would it work again?

“Я здесь, Федя. Я здесь”

‘Спи, младенец мой прекрасный,

Баюшки-баю.

Тихо смотрит месяц ясный

В колыбель твою.

Стану сказывать я сказки,

Песенку спою;

Ты ж дремли, закрывши глазки,

Баюшки-баю.’

His voice broke slightly when he saw Fyodor’s eyes flutter.

По камням струится Терек,

Плещет мутный вал;

Злой чечен ползет на берег,

Точит свой кинжал;

Но отец твой старый воин,

Закален в бою:

“Колыа?” Fyodor whispered.

Finally:

Спи, малютка, будь спокоен,

Баюшки-баю~

Nikolai smiled genuinely at the sick man in his lap, “Все кончено. Я здесь. И я-”

“Вы что?”

“Мне так жаль. Я чертовски сильно люблю тебя, и мне так жаль, что я заставил тебя это сделать. Я причинил тебе боль и-”

“Вы любите меня?”

Oh fuck. He did not mean to say that, “...Да.”

“Oh god.” Back to English.

“What?”

“Kolya. I think I love you too. I think I can love you.” He hiccupped as a sob broke from his throat, “Don’t leave me, I don’t want you to die.”

Nikolai didn’t know whether this was delusion from illness or serious, but he allowed himself to hope. A single tear escaped his eyelashes and fell onto Fyodor’s chest, right on top of his heart.

“Are you serious?”

“... Yes. Fuck, I’m not sick.” tears continued to flow down his cheeks.

Nikolai cried too, “You are.”

“Don’t leave me again… please”

“I won’t. Never again.”

[outpost51]

The 51 Post

so. bad week, if the prolonged absence wasn’t enough of a clue. but! i did write a... moderate amount. listen, i've been coping with sims.

Contents:

Things You Might Have Missed

This Week's Jams

WIP Breakdowns

From the Skwad

Around the 'Blr

Things You Might Have Missed

get on my taglists for WIP updates, 51 post, tag games, and ask events!

BRHP: Chapter 17 posted; K A DM O S.

Unlikely Adventures, Ch 2 posted; it’s literally in the blurb but it hurt me to write too

BRHP: Chapter 16 posted; baby's first fight pit, and a family secret is revealed.

Murky Water: the 7th entry into the Lighthouse in the Fog shorts; our new Keeper finds her answers.

This Week's Jams

aliens (porcelain remix) || xylø, porcelain [spotify/youtube]

avoidant attachment || libby larkin [spotify/youtube]

fire fire || flyleaf [spotify/youtube]

no care || daughter [spotify/youtube]

let the flames begin || paramore [spotify/youtube]

devil’s teeth || muddy magnolias [spotify/youtube]

WIP Breakdowns

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

hngggg i am. behind. it’s all outlined but my god i was too tired to write much

Unlikely Adventures of Bitchface and Go F*ck Yourself

[affectionately strangles zadimus]

Blinding Neon, Shades of Grey

[vibrates] hhhhhh i love the orville scene, i forgot how much i love the orville scene, yes i will post the orville scene this week if yall bully me (pls)

Stellar Parallax

elmorise.gif

Lighthouse in the Fog

8th short will be coming out some time tonight or tomorrow, it’s been an uphill battle to write today, anyway things have Developed in a Direction i was not Expecting

In the Works

i have noodled some of those random shuffle prompts. some of you are getting whacked with the emotions stick

From the Skwad

SSSC 006 wrapped up! see the entries here.

@thetrashbagswasteland posted a little too good to be true, a follow up to a little too much like me as their submission for MEBB 2023 and it is rife with snark

speaking of MEBB, @sparatus also published his triumphant return to His Original Bullshit: serpents in the garden and i am living. he also wrote skewed results for FFF208 bc we all need more teia

@uraniumwriting also wrote a submission for FFF208 in which caspian is forced to be a reporter for a day

we have FIVE updates from @teamdilf this week: a sweet piece in which adrien is offered some kittens, ch 20 of in-laws and the grandparents, this drabble that actually ripped my soul out through my eyes, ch 16 of man of many talents, and the first chapter of father, daughter, rocket launchers, and a side of wrex

@bambino1294 dropped the second chapter of upright tower and it was well worth the wait

@equusgirl has given us two more treats for sapphic summer: heaven or hell and if the bird likes it's cage so very much, why is the cage so tightly shut

@commander-krios wrote this squee-worthy despina/theron piece and also this stolen moment between jeff and john

@writernopal wrote a character study with mariel and sartor that i’m still thinking about actually, it’s wild to see how much the characters have developed between the first and third books

@asher-orion-writes posted another installment of fairweather YAY hhhhhh i fucked up and peeked at the last few lines before i read it and now i’m trying to wrap up so i can go eat it

Around the ‘Blr

@tabswrites blessed us with both the second chapter of ascension and chapter 4 of silver sentinels!!!

@vacantgodling’s art comms are open which i will be taking a look at given it does not fall through the holes in my swiss cheese brain, he dropped toph art that i’m OBSESSED with AND a lukewarm rejection sneep bc toph’s bday was the 7th. tell him happy birthday 4 me

bit over a week but i missed it last week — @autumnalwalker announced that the archivist’s journal is COMPLETE, so if you were ever looking for a reason to binge it, now’s the time (the anniversary is july 16th!). find it here @thearchivistsjournal

@captain-kraken dropped a sonhara lore masterpost oh my GOD

screaming crying frothing at the mouth over @liv-is’s fae headshots WOW

@void-botanist gave us the LORE on the revalo tailory & hotel and i will chew off my arm if tumblr doesn’t start giving me gd notifs about this

@artdecosupernova-writing dropped SO MANY shorts this week, so here’s the tag, go nuts; also a post on the planet holeph that i am eating with a spoon

we now have such amazing faces to put with the cast of @elshells’s agent ace (courtesy of @illjustpretend)

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Outpost Updates Taglist: @tabswrites @writernopal @freedominique @asher-orion-writes @liv-is @starknstarwars @captain-kraken

Ask to +/- in the tags, replies, DMs, or HERE!

[stupid-and-cute-are-enough]

cough. here's a little super short fic i wrote bc i make those too. be sure to check out the silly extra details i added in the tags!

@get-rammed

Monty lets out a heavy sigh, sitting on the much too small couch in his room, his handler close by his side, messing around with wires in the open compartment on his arm. Something went wrong with his claws again, and management is convinced that it’s the programming or the wiring that’s the problem, sicking his handler on the problem again and again. Monty doesn’t think it’s either of those things.

He huffs again and drops his head onto his free hand, boredom clawing at his... shell. His handler bumps with a small clank.

“Sit still, you big baby. I’ll be done in a minute.”

He rolls his eyes. “I’ve never been one to sit still, sweets.”

“Yeah, well, you’re gonna today.”

He rolls his eyes again, resisting the urge to let out another huff. He knows fusing over this is only gonna make it take longer. That and… he can see the bags under his handler’s eyes. It’s late. Far later than any other employee stays, except those working the graveyard shift. It seems like even the other animatronic handlers have gone home for the day. He can tell that they’re tired, but they never bring it up to him. They probably don’t want to worry him, all things considered, but that just makes Monty even more anxious. They look half asleep already, so Monty decides to occupy them with the most meaningless conversation he can muster.

“Hey, so, like…” Monty trails off, rolling his free hand at the wrist. “I barely saw any, uh, human staff around today, even though it was super fuckin’ busy. Why’s that?”

His handler stops, blinking for a second. “Oh, it’s, uh, Labor Day. It’s like a national holiday about unions or something, and people usually get the day off.”

Monty raises a brow. “Why didn’t you get the day off?”

They snort. “You don’t get the day off, so I don’t get the day off.”

Monty hums. “... That’s pretty shitty for us then, huh?”

They laugh, patting his arm. “Yeah. It is. Hey, I just finished up re-wiring everything. Give me a test and see if everything works right?”

Monty obliges, clenching his fists and spinning them around at the wrist. He mimics plenty of movements he makes while playing on stage, and nothing stutters, nothing stalls, or makes any weird noises. His internal diagnostics show no issues, either. All seems well, so he leans back and gives a smug, shit-eating smile. One that’s familiar.

“All’s workin’,” he replies, keeping up his smile when he sees the weight lifted off his handler by the news. They don’t like being comforted. Not directly, anyway.

“Great,” they sigh, slouching into a more relaxed position. They close up the compartment on Monty’s arm, giving it one last, solid pat.

“You good to recharge and everything?” They ask, packing up their small tool bag and tossing it in some random corner of the room. They barely put it away anymore, but management hasn’t caught on yet. Or maybe his handler just doesn’t care that they’re supposed to put it away. Either is possible. “Do you want me to lay with you?”

Monty thinks as they bustle around the room, turning down the lights and doing a cursory glance at his recharge station. He does want them to lay with him. He always does. But Monty sees the exhaustion in their shoulders and feels some kind of misplaced guilt. They’re this tired because he’s a Glamrock now, not just a side attraction. He became more of a handful. He broke more. He needed them more at all hours of the day. They’re his handler. He’s tired, and he’s not even human.

“Naw,” he says, tilting his head and smiling. “I’m good.”

“Alrighty then,” his handler puts on a brave smile, grabbing their oversized Monty jacket and slinging it over their shoulders. Before, Monty would’ve teased them about being such a simp, how they don’t need his merch because they already wear his face all day, or how they could literally just zip up their uniform, but he lets it go for tonight.

“Se you tomorrow, big guy.”

Monty doesn’t comment on how today is already tomorrow.

“Goodnight, cher.”

His handler leaves, muttering about how they’ll probably need to catch a bus because they “don’t think they can drive like this,” and Monty wants nothing more than to invite them back. To give them the whole couch and let them sleep. But for all the crazy hours Fazbear Entertainment expects of them, they’re not allowed to stay overnight. No one is allowed to stay overnight, except for the night shift workers, who all had to sign crazy amounts of paperwork, and they both know it.

So, instead, Monty watches them make their way to the entrance. He watches as they struggle with their ID until the heavy metal doors rise, and they can slip out the door. He strains his eyes to see them disappear into the dark until the metal doors obscure them from view and hopes for all it’s worth that tomorrow will be easier.

___

please ignore any silly typos im p sure i got them all but its super late. i wanna post this tho so im posting it. i may or may not repost this later but like. as a better version lmao ram pls tell me if monty is OOC i was punching AIR trying to write this guy 😭 i thought i knew him well and then BAM no the fuck i dont

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

After death | Lost Gods

He looks at the skyline ahead of him, its famous shapes that tourists gape at like they’re observing a gorilla in an enclosure. It’s all grey to him, not just because of the looming storm but because the grids of buildings and lights have become boring in a way that seems fatal—this city is a dead thing on earth, he doesn’t care what anyone says. It’s all post-mortem—the blinking traffic lights, shafts of sunlight interrupted by high-rises, yellow taxis honking, honking, honking, like they’re shouting a prayer. He feels sort of like that too, caught in kitschy after death.

A little Harrison art <3 !! And an excerpt from the opening of Lost Gods!

4 years ago today I finished writing his very first solo novel, Moth Work, & I’m kind of in awe of how far we’ve come in that short time… 4 novels & 2 novellas narrated by this man who’s a little embarrassing and a whole lot profound (but you didn’t hear that from me!). A few more thoughts under the cut, but here’s a little note I made myself in 2020, the only note I’ve ever made after finishing a book (possibly because finishing this one changed my life a little).

TW for mentions of: mental illness, trauma in the mental health system, internalized homophobia

Technically I finished Moth Work at 2:34AM because I lived on the west coast at the time lol.

I don’t usually celebrate or remember the anniversaries of finishing books. But I wanted to celebrate this one because a) it’s Leap Day & I haven’t been able to commemorate what I was doing during the last one for 4 years, & b) because finishing MW was such a significant accomplishment!

I started MW in January of 2019 because I was struggling emotionally. At the time, I was racing to figure out “what was wrong with me” before flying across the country for uni in the summer (SPOILER I WAS JUST AUTISTIC LMAO), which led to a lot of stressful and traumatizing appointments with doctors. I desperately needed a book to cheer me up but a different one from my WIP at the time, especially because in 2018, I’d both discovered my voice and become really afraid of messing it up!

I also was taking a religion class at the time that was emotionally difficult for me because I felt reallyyyy alone and especially isolated in my queerness that I’d been hiding for a couple years at that point (& that I literally would not talk about at all, not even to people I trusted). When it became very clear I needed an outlet to explore my feelings (of being “unhelpable,” internalized homophobia, a general sense of aloneness/isolation) the decision of what I was going to write became pretty clear.

I’d written 3 stories in Harrison’s POV that predated MW starting in late 2018 (they were also my first explorations in third person present tense, which fun fact, I only tried in his POV because I’ve always written my notes ideas in that POV/tense combo, even when I only wrote first person!). I hadn’t written in a different POV character’s head beside’s Reeve’s since 2016, so it felt natural that the second character I felt closest to (Harrison!!!) could be a narrator. Funnily at this time Lonan was my favourite so I’m actually surprised I did not choose him but can we imagine how different things would be if I had???

I started Moth Work in my notes app (ICONIC) on January 16th 2019 at 11:37pm! The first chapter came pretty quickly, is actually quite non-linear for a bit, and was overall a lot of fun to write. I’d planned for the project to maybe be a short story or at the most a novella (does this sound familiar), nothing very long and definitely not a novel. I believe the goal word count was 5k which is so funny bc that’s exactly how Changing States & Lost Gods started!!!

And then the project stagnated, it wasn’t something I’d planned to write seriously, and I didn’t pick it back up until August of that year when my therapist at the time suggested I try to complete a “reach goal” as I was reaching Crisis and I guess I was so done with everything going on in my life that I was like okay fine!!!! I will write Moth Work as a novel!!!!

This book literally flew with me across the country… I wrote a lot of it late at night in my dorm with all the lights off after a long day on campus. I wrote a lot of it in my intro to sociology lecture LMAO. I wrote a lot of it on my phone. It was the first project (no literally) where I intentionally explored queerness, especially my own feelings as a (sort of?) catholic at the time. I explored atheism a lot! Something I needed to process my own feelings about faith & God. I explored what it’s like to be this completely unhelpable person because you’ve decided there’s no possible way to help yourself anymore (hiiii Lonan). I also explored (a bit like a premonition), what it’s like to care deeply for someone you can’t help (but that you very badly want to help).

And I almost didn’t finish the book! The imposter syndrome and insecurity went crazyyy when writing Moth Work. I didn’t feel like I was writing the First Person Retrospective Flowery Literary Fiction I’d deemed as the only possible “good writing.” (Still LOVE but I really was struggling seeing a very minor style shift, which is funnily much closer to my writing now than when I was writing the “best” way.) I deleted so much from this book. I couldn’t look at it. I was so embarrassed by it!! I made ultimatums with it!! I edited it so much but still couldn’t stand it! It was literally the safest space I had and I could barely be there a lot of the time!!!

SOOOO this is why I’m very proud of me for finishing it lol & while I would typically have celebrated the anniversary idk, in 2021, bc it didn’t exist until this year it felt apt to sit with those feelings now. I’m really proud of 17-year-old Rachel who was undiagnosed autistic & convinced I was a lost cause, who was sooo afraid of being queer I could only think of that through Lonan (& sometimes still do thx king 🫡) who literallyyyyy wrote a masterpiece in my collection that contains some of my best work (even if I only realized that 4 years later) & that’s been the start of EVERYTHING!

This is so much more than a book or an anniversary!! Somehow I made it through all the things I didn’t think were possible and now have written 2 books & 3 (writing the fourth) novellas allllll in this world. AND 2 additional novels in his POV!! Also thank you baby Rachel for Jeremiah. Like hello!!!! This is the only place I felt safe to be myself when I couldn’t be with anyone else! And there’s something priceless about that…

And it’s all bc of Harrison!!! Whoever I saw in that man in 2019… girl thank you!! Can’t explain what it’s like to grow with that character (who is sooo much more than that to me). Never would I have predicted where I am now. And IMO, that’s all thanks to him so ily fictional man in my head, this is soooo his day LOL.

& if you were here since the first MW update & made it this far… I MUST KNOW!!!!

[abimee]

so tbh i was hard on nier:a while playing it cos i don't really like a lot of the anime tropes BUT i really like tragedies and i was promised some twists, and got some. but i wanted to ask you how you felt about the pacing. basically, did it feel like there was a solid line connecting plot points, or do you feel like certain things happened at random? barring the fact that yoko taro said he literally wrote the story out of order, is that how it felt to you? imo it felt really rushed through super cool parts and like things that were annoying or setpieces ran on for too long. ig i'm still fked up over how much it fell short of my expectations bc even after playing nier:a completely thru and h8ing how absurdly film-student its tone and ideology are, i was hyperfixated enough to read some of the side literature and learn drakengard lore. tl;dr, nier:a is cool and has some fun parts but i wish the android were more mature (or artificial) in physicalilty to avoid weird anime loli baiting in the fans and also they'd asked a writer to help revise and implement the og author's ideas okay bye thx for reading my rant ♡ i'm glad u had fun and ur fanart abt a2 and the indoor grill made me cough

ill gladly listen to people bitch about yoko taro ive had PROBLEMS with this man since a young age ☝️☝️☝️☝️

I was actually thinking about the pacing and insertion of certain scenes/plot points today because admittedly like. okay this might be all over the place but

The start of the game (Route A + B) was like pretty solid pacing I think due to being low risk, and I thought it was cool that the game let you see 9S' side of things --- but it really started to fumble when it got into it's moe complex storylines in C-D-E and went on to deposit a lot of information on it to the point where it felt like we were forgetting entire plots and characters because something new and shiny showed up

Like okay first off. Adam and Eve and the aliens. We never once got any sort of explanation WHY adam + eve killed the aliens, or why the aliens made the machines, but within that general thought we did learn that humans died before going to the moon (and possibly even before the aliens came?), and that YoRHa's only goal was to fight the machines until a specified amount of data was gotten and then they were to explode. Never did we get more elaboration on the aliens or adam/eve, and while we got some YoRHA spotlight stuff it also entirely just decided that explaining the true mission behind making YoRHa and why the androids had to die is beyond it. Which frustrated me because it Brings Up Ideas but doesn't specify if thats the true reason, like we learned that the machines fight purely because that was there sole reason, and so they made an enemy for themselves purely to enact that goal that the aliens gave --- but then it even goes ''haha okay but hear me out'' and introduces Red Girl and this vague idea of the Machine Ego and wanting to defy their masters of the aliens, but then DOESN'T ELABORATE WHY. Like we don't know WHY adam and eve and the machine ego wanted to develop enough to defy their machine logic and purpose because it wraps back around to ''theyre human just like us because they want to defy their masters because.... they're human like us?"

Like it often felt like some concepts or plots brought up walked itself in a circle, dog-chasing-tail style, where it's entirely contained within itself and refuses to expand upon it's existence, which then causes it to get sort of left behind when the plot finds a new fancy idea to latch onto. Like how quickly the story introduced, focused on, then discarded Adam & Eve is almost criminal because of the things it could've done with them literally as the closest approximation to what the Machine Ego/Red Girls wanted, since they defied their creator's orders to be their own selves. Eve especially feels wasted in this regard --- like if the plot spent a little more time focusing on Eve & Adam in a B-plot scenario showing Eve and Adam learning more from humans and even leaning into Eve's wants that we saw in his mind when 9S hacked him (the human home built around him and his brother, and his brother wanting to go somewhere peaceful with him). Like they even could've tied that to when they get on the Ark and leave and Adam is holding Eve, that's literally Adam bringing Eve somewhere peaceful, but because those two instances are so seperated from each other and their own sort of throw-away concepts it becomes hard to Remember the tether between those two thoughts

This is also my biggest problem with A2's writing, I can only assume she's meant to be a Kaine-type character (and boy did my eyes momentarily widen seeing Emil say ''it must be fate that we've met!" to her) where her reserved nature and somewhat limited character blends in with her personality, but they really could've just given us like at least 2 more hours-game to learn about her past rather than just infodump us with her lore in some logs at the Resistance Camp. This is another problem Red Girl had where I feel like the fact you get unit data on them that basically explains away the confusing parts of their involvement in the lore felt cheap because this game has over 40+ hours under it's belt but couldn't be damned to give us information on our main antagonist directly in the game instead of in a post-credit LOG?

Like okay. I love my baby boy emil. He is the most special boy in the world to me and I am so happy seeing him get a pretty decent character arc for himself in the sequel to his original iteration. But why do we learn information about Emil more easily than the Red Girls? No unit data paragraph, no document information to read, no external book needing to be sourced. You learn whats up with him, why his big event out in the desert happens, and how it ends. You even get TWO special areas involving him. Red Girl gets to speak for a little bit and then vanish. It just astonishes me a bit

And it's not like the game doesn't try to expand characters last-minute either, that entire cutscene where Pascal reads Nietszche and then gets surrounded by the baby machines before the events of the Factory/suicide felt so forced in suddenly that it felt rather obvious something was going to happen. And I say this as someone who was in tears seeing Pascal get called ''uncle Pascal'' and see him defend the children in the factory --- it was super obvious that they possibly didn't originally plan that scene but needed something to really show that Village acted just like a human community with children and babysitters and family. Like not to be like ''this couldve been something beautiful'' but i think giving us a little time between A2 and the Village more could've done something beautiful. A2 getting the necessities to build the slide definitely made me drop to my knees but I noticed even the LPer was confused why A2 had a crying child inside of her as her enemy at the end of the hacking (like how 9S had 2B at the end of his destroying his memories), but the game didn't do anything with that besides lightly imply A2 lets down her mean bit for children sometimes (and again. why is this Kaine behavior). And then the fucking laughing children sound at the end of the route where she hacks 9S and she looks to the sky like ? This is all very interesting but it doesnt mean anything.

NOT TO MENTION 2B BEING AN EXECUTIONER TYPE. COOL CONCEPT BUT IT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING IN THE END. It's just another thing to tack onto 9S's migraine of learning everything is a lie but nothing gets DONE with that incredibly interesting though afterwards because we never see 2B after that because she's been dead for a while now. We had a brief hint at it when we heard that transmission of 2B being her new name but the payoff just doesn't work if you just state it and then not do anything with it.

There's many cases of this and I notice it with how much questions I have that simply have no answer in this game despite the fact we have nearly 5 routes worth of time that could've gone into either sticking to like 3 ideas to the end or bridging the gaps, Which the story Does Do Sometimes! Red Girl talking about fucking up its own network to make pacifistic machines that want nothing to do with the war, the lie of YoRHA

OH MY GOD ALSO. SPEAKING OF RANDOMLY PUSHING STUFF IN. OPERATOR 210. The fact that they wanted to pull the whole ''she was curt and distant with 9S but secretly saw him as like a son because she wanted a family :(" could've gone INSANE if they didn't decide they wanted to bring that idea in at the last possible second and make 210 randomly baby 9S (and then make him point out how strange she's acting), and then ignore that until we get to the cutscene that they wanted to make for it. Like they could've had 210 start out as curt and distant, but as 9S operations with 2B got more dangerous she could've started laying on the doting mother thing, but it just came so abruptly in Route.....C? That it felt forced and rather last-minute, like they finished writing A and B and someone walked in and went ''wait I want 210 to see 9S as her son :(" and this is how they crammed it in

oh this post isnt even about the pacing i'm just talking about dead end plot concepts. But I can definitely see where you're coming from there because we spent an awfully long time with the Resistance only to know so little about them, but it defos felt more ''a lot of stuff is getting brought up but we dont have enough time to give it developing room because we want to bring in the next concept asap". A2, the forest king, Red Girl, hell even Pascal and Adam & Eve all suffer this. the only person who really got a steady character Was 2B and 9S but 2B felt like she got cut short and just became a puppet for 9S' plot which is so tiring how often we get dual man/woman protags and the woman's story just becomes part of the man's story and she becomes a nebulous concept. that yoko taro brand Misogyny

I SPENT AN HOUR TYPING THIS? I haven't even gotten to how I feel like 9S' plot feels like it was destined for something more but got bottlenecked for time and cut off at the like 80% mark

I can definitely feel that though of feeling like Nier:a didn't meet expectations, when I finished all the routes and the playlist i was watching just Ended I genuinely sat up and bed and just felt a deep sense of ''THAT'S IT? THATS ALL?"

it's crazy too because I really, REALLY loved what it had going and im going to be thinking about this game forever but it also just left me feeling like i'm missing something so badly that when I try to think about it sometimes my mind just draws blanks like im left speechless at it.

Like that was nier: automata? that was just 40 hours of being asked what it means to be alive