#this is rooted in nothing in particular either just always trying to sabotage myself

[missjessisamess]

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[crtter]

Hey everyone! No one asked for this! But I’ve been itching to make this post ever since I saw the Osomatsu-san movie so I hope you’re ready to scroll at the speed of sound because it’s time for another “reading too much into a cartoon character’s behavior” post of mine! That’s right, it’s my “Iyami has ADHD” theory...

part 2!!!

Some, not all that major spoilers for the movie below, of course! Ok, so... in the first installment of this series, I, as an ADHD haver myself, talked about how I can personally relate to some of the behaviors Iyami displays during the many adaptations of Osomatsu-kun, -san included, from the unusual ways he walks and sits and fidgets to less “savory” aspects of his personality, such as the way he sabotages himself when doing honest work because they’re entirely too boring for him. But! For as little as he showed up in the movie, what we did get of him was very interesting to me, and I’m talking about these two scenes in particular:

and

The first one... I think it pretty much confirms it: Iyami’s unpleasantness is largely due to an inpulsiveness he doesn’t even dream of trying to control on a regular basis. As I’ve pointed out before some -kun stories show that trying to keep himself from being a general annoyance is something that brings Iyami a lot of grief. He’s ridiculously impulsive and, no matter how much it blows up in his face, he never learns from it and keeps acting out every single thought that pops in his mind.

But it also brings us a new facet of it: Iyami has nothing to do with the situation in question and yet, he’s quick to butt in and try to ruin everything. And the only explanation he provides for wanting to be the one to knock on Takahashi-san’s door despite -and I can’t stress this enough- having no idea of who she is and why the sextuplets are after her in the first place?

“Me can’t wait to see what happens.”

Of course, he’s doing it mostly to spite them, which is something I’m going to explore in a while, but I can’t believe I just... skipped over this when writing my first post, given that it’s something *I* struggle with sometimes, but if he’s speaking his mind here (which he usually does) a driving factor behind Iyami’s actions seems to be just... plain inquisitiveness.

I think all human beings have thoughts that go like “I wonder what would happen if I did *insert ‘extremely inconvenient thing that would not be only bad for me but for everyone else involved’ here*. Iyami wonders these things... and he just gets up and does them, both in situations he can walk out unscathed of and in situations he will be immediately punished for acting in such a way. An example is how he’ll just say whatever unpleasant thing he’s thinking of to people who can and will retaliate, not only physically, but also verbally. I mean, he does have the advantage of not being easily swayed by insults directed at his personality:

...but he’s REALLY bothered by insults directed at his appearance:

But this is another aspect of his psyche I’m not going to dwell in here. I only wanted to talk about what a lethal combination Iyami’s curiosity and his total lack of restraint and hindsight are here. As much as it troubles other people, I think it gets him in trouble just as often.

But onto the other scene! Knowing that the sextuplets can’t really recall what his face looks like when not looking at him, by which I mean basically the only thing they can recall is that he has a huge overbite, is a good blow to his ego. How dare they only remember him by that! In John Mulaney’s famous words... “No! That’s the thing I’m sensitive about!”

But being being left alone by Osomatsu and Karamatsu at the horse races is the straw that breaks the camel’s back and Iyami decides to chase the sextuplets down (I doubt he knows exactly which ones offended him so all of them will suffer from his rage) and show them exactly how unforgettable he is. Now, let me ask you a question, my fellow ADHD-havers... does the thought of being ignored or rejected makes you feel terrible for some reason? Do you panic when that happens and end up saying and doing things you regret after specifically because being ignored felt so bad?

So do I. That’s what we call Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, baby! RSD for short. I feel it very strongly and that’s why Iyami’s anger at being ignored or not recognized as the “celebrity” he is doesn’t come off as all that whiny to me. If I had achieved the fame he did then had been forced to live the life he does in the present day, being not only virtually unknown but also literally homeless most of the time? I’d be pissed off at the world as well. In fact, I WAS pissed off at the world for a long period of my life. But we’ll get into this in a minute, as that’s not all this scene gives us!

The dream world interprets his anger by summoning a literal army of all of his -san appearances and a few memorable -kun ones too. And! What calms him down enough for him to become visible again? Managing to piss the sextuplets off so much he gets dropkicked by the six of them at once!

He’s then surprised when they point out that he’s gone through all this trouble just for attention because he’s lonely. After all, I doubt it’s something he, like, thought through rationally in his head. He was just impulsively reacting to feeling neglected. This remark makes him blush.

I think it’s kind of poignant that what sobers him up wasn’t being reassured that he’s fine the way he is, like Totoko and Chibita were, it was finally getting the unbridled attention he wanted from the beginning, even if that meant getting beaten up for it. Because... that’s something I can relate to too!

You see, I used to be the class clown as a teen and I even had an internet troll phase! Somewhere along the way, younger me realized that getting negative attention by purposefully acting out was way, way better than getting negative attention when people pointed out my shortcomings. I mean, being a well-behaved kid wasn’t working because I wasn’t either “a good kid” or a “good student” because of my learning disabilities. Getting lashed out at wasn’t pleasant either because I wasn’t misbehaving on purpose, I couldn’t help how badly I was doing in school, but everyone acted like I was being purposefully lazy and defiant. So what was left for me? Actually misbehaving on purpose! If you can’t get noticed positively, the next best thing is to be noticed negatively but being in control of the situation. And this is a typical ADHD thing! If you read those “Does my kid have ADHD?” checklists you find online, you will almost invariably find something like “do your kid misbehaves on purpose?” or “does your kid seems to intentionally annoy other people for attention?”

In my case, I grew out of that kind of behavior, for the most part (I mean... I still enjoy making “cursed posts” and reading all the exaggerated fake murder threats people make at me, after all, just as much as I like telling purposefully bad jokes just for the groans). I started leaning into the more common side of RSD, which is becoming a people pleaser. I was never that daring of a person to begin with. But that’s not how everyone with ADHD reacts to it. In fact, some people, especially those whose ADHD makes them more impulsive, get stuck in a “RSD loop” in which they do “bad” things impulsively, only experience more rejection because of it, which leads them to only do more and more “bad” things impulsively.

Of course, as always, I don’t mean any of that to try to justify how much of an asshole a cartoon character is and say they’re above criticism. Iyami IS terrible and fun to root against that’s why he was such a popular antagonist for so many years! This is just me looking at a cartoon character and seeing a bit of myself in him, which is one of the reasons I am so drawn to him in the first place.

[seasaltmemories]

Sarazanmai Hot Takes and What it Means for a Character to Be Likeable

Lol I knew the episode 8 fallout would be intense but rather than mind my own business, I’ve decided to help stir the pot

I’ve only watched Revolutionary Girl Utena but I’ve read up on Ikuhara’s other shows and in comparison Sarazanmai comes off as much lighter and more straight-forward in my opinion, yes a kid got shot in the last episode but the core conflicts and real meat of the show has stayed grounded in its slice of life elements, depending on how the climax plays out we might get more ambiguity or higher stakes, but the kappa stuff has always served as a potential solution to the boys’ problems and I could see a lot of the same conflicts and arcs taking place in a completely realistic setting

All of that is to say that despite this I find it harder to really root for and love the characters than expected, it’s not even because I really dislike anyone but because that more grounded setting complicates matters

For example, Enta is probably one of the most controversial characters in the show and he has the most realistic problem, having a crush on a close friend, there have been discussions back and forth about how selfish and overstepping of boundaries he can get but also about how he is just a dumb kid still learning to cope with these feelings, but like few acknowledgements that both sides can be true?

And I feel like the reason is, Enta’s situation is so universal people can either see themselves in his behavior, or people who have really hurt them in it, a lot of people have been the third wheel feeling as if they do everything for others who don’t acknowledge their work, but a lot of people have also had jealous friends who resent your outside relationships and/or sabotage them, like while it is a hot debate on tumblr now on whether it is ok to like terrible, problematic characters or not (spoiler alert it is) people don’t bring up the flip side that a character can have their actions be understandable and at their core they can be well-intentioned yet you can still dislike them

Ikuhara’s work is all about not being able to reduce people to good and bad, that what matters the most is people’s active decision to help one another and try and make the world a place that is just a little bit brighter, so anyone trying to neatly organize this love triangle into heroes and villains by saying X is a good boy and Y is murking up things, is just clearly missing the big picture

Because hot take, the boys’ relationship falling apart is less the result of one instigator and more the culmination of all their flaws making the situation worse and worse

However I still come back to earlier statement of having trouble connecting (lol) 8 was probably my fave Sarazanmai episode so far but I still have yet to be too emotionally compromised or in love with a particular character, I think they’re all solid and well-written, but the closest that I would say I get the most excited to see is well Sara

And the answers to that is people are shallow individuals, myself included.  Likabelity has nothing to do with a characters’ morality or complexity but more about what they offer the viewer, sometimes a viewer will be drawn in by that morality or complexity, but it can easily be anything else

Like for the reason Sara is the closest to my fave is bc I’m really fond of that one shot of her in the op, her design is the most interesting plus I just tend be drawn more to female characters, and I’m curious about how she factors into the larger plot, looking at the fandom as a whole, the Otter Cops are by far the most popular characters a part of that has to do with their prequel manga (which I’ll get back to) but even those who haven’t read it tend to like them a lot, and why? Because they have a cool dance number/song, are attractive plus voiced by popular VA’s, are all but suggested to be in a relationship and people want to know more about their plans, I doubt even if Enta dies, Reo’s popularity will waver in the slightest and there’s nothing really bad about that

But returning back to me specifically, I think the fastest way for me to really like a character is if I can see them in a variety of different situations and enjoy them for it, and I think where Sarazanmai has fallen short of that “absolute love” thing for me is bc while it has really captured their individual flaws, but less nuance has been given for why we should root for them specifically

I tend to describe RGU as introducing its cast in the most basic sense in its first 13 episodes, showing their deepest darkest flaws and hang ups in the second 13, and then in the last third making us love them despite that, that’s a very simplified version of events but an example it fits is Nanami, who is a haughty school bully and primadonna, while she matures over the series, even before that starts I began to root for her once the Egg episode showed just how insecure and unsure she is, but besides showing her vulnerability it also showed her strengths, such as (a much more healthy level of) devotion and love for those she cherishes and even later on, a determination to not fall into old mistakes again

Episode 7 was a bit of a breather was meant to serve the same function, but the boys just kinda have a bland generic niceness when they’re operating at their best, it is that grounded setting that is working less for me, because at their core they are just normal teenagers growing up, so at their best they are just average, I think despite the boys having the more developed storyline, the Otter Cops are more popular bc many readers feel like they already know them better bc they have seen at least a version of them be domestic dads and just live their lives

I still have time to be proven wrong, and even if it just maintains its quality I will still be satisfied with keeping up with it each week, a lot of this is filtered through my own POV so don’t feel like you have worse taste if say this has you crying bucket loads but RGU did nothing for you, but I find it interesting to see how old tropes have new meaning when placed in a different setting

[imjustthemechanic]

Natalie Jones and the Golden Ship

Part 1/? - A Meeting at the Palace Part 2/? - Curry Talk Part 3/? - Princess Sitamun Part 4/? - Not At Rest Part 5/? - Dead Men Tell no Tales Part 6/? - Sitamun Rises Again Part 7/? - The Curse of Madame Desrosiers Part 8/? - Sabotage at Guedelon Part 9/? - A Miracle Part 10/? - Desrosiers’ Elixir Part 11/? - Athens in October Part 12/? - The Man in Black Part 13/? - Mr. Neustadt Part 14/? - The Other Side of the Story Part 15/? - A Favour Part 16/? - A Knock on the Window Part 17/? - Sir Stephen and Buckeye Part 18/? - Books of Alchemy Part 19/? - The Answers Part 20/? - A Gift Left Behind Part 21/? - Santorini Part 22/? - What the Doves Found Part 23/? - A Thief in the Night Part 24/? - Healing Part 25/? - Newton’s Code Part 26/? - Montenegro Part 27/? - The Lost Relic Part 28/? - The Homunculinus Part 29/? - The End is Near Part 30/? - The Face of Evil Part 31/? - The Morning After Part 32/? - Next Stop Part 33/? - A Sighting in Messina Part 34/? - Taormina Part 35/? - Burning Part 36/? - Recovery Part 37/? - Pilgrimage to Vesuvius Part 38/? - The Scent of Hell Part 39/? - She’ll be Coming Down the Mountain Part 40/? - Stowaways Part 41/? - Bon Voyage Part 42/? - Turnabout Part 43/? - The Apple Part 44/? - Vesuvius Wakes Part 45/? - Fire At Sea Part 46/? - The Real Jim

This is totally plot-irrelevant but I wrote it mostly to distract myself.

The radio crackled. The Scorpio II must have sent out some kind of call about the fire and now other ships were on their way to help take care of it.  A voice came over the radio, in French, asking who was still on board and what they thought they were doing.  Natasha reached over and turned it off.

“Somebody put the fire out,” she said.  “I’m gonna look for Jim.”

She hurried back out onto the deck.  As she did, something whizzed over her head – she didn’t need to look up to see what it was. The arrow impacted at the top of the burning panels and smokestack, and the cold fog of the liquid nitrogen hissed out. Another followed a moment later, then a third, and soon all the fires were out.  The nitrogen not only cooled the burning wood and plastic, it smothered it, taking away the oxygen it needed to burn.

Clint was probably thrilled he’d gotten to use them after all, Nat thought with a small smile.

She went down the steps from the Stargazer deck to the Lido, where the pool was now empty with towels draped over the deck chairs and abandoned drinks sitting on the tables. There was nobody in evidence.  She was about to move on, when she heard a thumb behind one of the bars.  Nat paused and looked back, and a moment later, Jim emerged.  His hair was falling down around his face, but he was still wearing his tuxedo, with the bow tie neatly tied.

“What happened?” asked Natasha.

“Nothing,” said Jim.

“Something happened,” she pointed out.  “Where have you been?”

“I slipped,” he said.

Nat knew this wasn’t going anywhere good, and was not at all surprised when she heard a glass break behind the bar.  A hand grabbed the edge of the counter, and a head appeared, with the other hand rubbing a patch of scalp.  This individual was also in a tux, although his jacket was off and his bow tie was hanging loose around his neck.  His white shirt was stained with red wine.

It was, of course, also Jim.

“Shit!”  The tidy Jim grabbed Nat’s arm.  “I thought I got him.”

The disheveled Jim behind the bar looked up, and his eyes went wide.  “Natalie!”

She swallowed – she’d known this was coming, but that didn’t mean she had any idea what to do about it.  The last time this had happened, it had been her who’d been duplicated by a shapeshifting goblin. She’d managed to send a sign to Sharon that she was the real one… would Jim be smart enough to do the same?

He didn’t have time. The one behind the bar ran out, reaching for her.  Nat leaned on the one holding her arm and kicked the messy one in the chest, then somersaulted over the back of the tidy one and went to throw him into the water – then forced herself to stop.  She couldn’t throw either of these guys off the ship until she knew which one of them was their Jim.

She landed on her feet with the tidy Jim sitting dazed on the deck in front of her.  A moment later, messy-Jim tried to tackle them both.  Nat sprang up onto the railing, lost her balance, and fell over the side of the ship herself.

“Natalie!” both of them cried in unison.

Nat dropped only a few feet, then managed to grab one of the ropes used to lower the lifeboats. Although the ship was moving, they were not up to speed yet and not clear of the cluster of boats – people in the nearest one saw her dangling, and cried out.  Somebody turned the boat around to approach the towering Scorpio II.

“Jump, sweetheart!” Natasha heard a man holler.  She glanced down and saw, by the light of the emergency beacon on the lifeboat, a crew member standing and waving to her.  “Let go!  We’ll pull you on board!”

But Nat wasn’t going to do any such thing.  She got her feet onto the pulley hook, which provided a fairly stable place to stand, and looked up.  The two Jims were struggling on the deck above, each trying to toss the other overboard.

She started to climb.

What was she going to do when she got there?  How could she figure out which Jim was the real one, insofar as any version of Jim could be considered ‘real’?  The part of her that remembered the Red Room, the part that had been brought up to show no mercy because she knew she would receive none, thought the easiest thing to do would be to kill them both.  They would both end the same, piles of dust on the deck, and Newton wouldn’t be able to try the same trick with another homunculus in the future.  But the version of herself that Nat had been cultivating for the past few years, the one that tried to at least imitate human warmth, knew she couldn’t do that. Not to Jim, whose whole self was centered on wanting to live just as long as he could.

She wanted to think that the one behind the counter, with the wine on his shirt, was ‘her’ Jim – but was he, or was that just her urge to root for the underdog?  They’d been wrong when they’d guessed that Newton really was on the ship.  They couldn’t afford to be wrong again.

When she climbed back over the railing, she found the two Jims still grappling, having knocked over a couple of deck chairs.  Which was which?  How was she supposed to know.

The tidy one, with his tie and jacket still on, looked up.  “You’re all right!” he said.

The messy one punched him in the face.  He staggered backwards and fell into a chair, and Nat realized that the messy one had been aiming for the throat.  That one knew where the weak spot was… did that mean messy-Jim really was the fake?  Jim himself also had that information, though.  Would he use it against another homunculus?

Tidy-Jim picked himself up out of the chair and picked it up to throw it at the other.  Nat had to intervene before one of them took the decision out of her hands by killing the other.  She hauled the ropes up and grabbed the heavy pulley, winding up to swing it like a weapon, but at which Jim?  She couldn’t afford to be wrong and she would only have one guess.

It came to her.

“Hey!  Jim!” she shouted, twirling the pulley like a lariat.

They both looked up at her.

“Which hand?” she demanded.

“What?” asked messy-Jim. He looked down at his right hand, then at his left.

Tidy-Jim looked confused, too, but then his face lit up.  “Right!” he said.

“Left!” Messy-Jim guessed, apparently figuring whichever one the other guessed must be wrong.

Nat turned to messy-Jim and smiled.  He smiled back and stepped towards her, and she swung the pulley at him.  With it on the end to carry the inertia, the rope wrapped itself around his neck, and she yanked.  He gurgled, clawing at it with both hands.  Nat grabbed him around the neck and squeezed by the bone, and he dissolved into dust.

Tidy-Jim was less tidy now, as he picked himself up.  His jacket was torn, and his hair was askew.  “It was right,” he repeated, panting.  “That was the hand I had to heal after he burned it off.”

Nat could have cried – she’d guessed correctly.  “Yes!” she said, and went to help him stand.

Jim let her take his arm, but insisted upon supporting himself on a table instead of on her as he got to his feet.  “Why the hell did you have to scare me like that?” he asked.

“Because I figured you’d think I must be the evil one!” Jim said.  “It’s always the evil one who hits the other on the head and takes his place!”

“I would have asked,” Natasha said.  “You know – like I just did!”

“I didn’t know!  I didn’t know if you’d have any way to tell!” As soon as he had his balance, Jim pulled her in for a hug.

Nat was startled, and with adrenaline still coursing through her, it was an effort not to throw him into the swimming pool.  Only once she had a handle on that could she put her arms around him and hug him back.

“How many more of them are there?” she asked.  She would have to stay close to him, to make sure this didn’t happen again.

“Madame Desrosiers mentioned four, I think,” said Jim.  “Sir Steve threw one overboard…”

“No ticket,” Natasha greed.  “Newton dusted one to prove he wouldn’t make any more, and we just did for the third one. That means there’s one more.”

“No, there’s two more,” said Jim.  “I mean… there’s me.”

“Yeah, but you just pointed out you’re not the evil one,” said Natasha.  She gave him a gentle squeeze, and then stepped back to look him over.  “We’re not going to get rid of you.  You said you wanted to live.  You hurt at all?”

“I apparently don’t get hurt, remember?” he asked.

“Right.”  That was a relief.  “Okay.  Good.”

They returned to the bridge, where they others were relieved to see that both were okay. They’d turned the ship’s lights off, to make it more difficult for other vessels and the coast guard to keep track of them as they headed east, returning to Naples.  Under other circumstances, it might have made it harder for them to navigate, too – but on this particular night, there was no mistake about which way they had to go.  The glow of Vesuvius on the horizon was a beacon for them.  Little by little, the lifeboats and the other ships that had come to rescue the passengers dropped out of sight behind them.

As midnight approached, Nat and Sharon headed down to one of the bars and returned to distribute sodas to everybody.  Most of the men thanked them for this, as did Desrosiers.  The only dissenter was Clint.

“No beer?” he asked.

“You’re driving the boat,” Natasha told him.

“We’re in the middle of the ocean,” he pointed out.  “What am I gonna run into?”

“I’m sure you’d find something.”  Nat sat down on the edge of a control panel and opened a can of sparkling lemonade.

Allen looked at the can she’d given him, and licked his lips.  “This is stealing isn’t it?” he asked.

“We just stole an entire cruise ship, and you’re worried about a soda?” asked Nat.

“The soda is something I can conceptualize,” Allen said.  “I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around the idea of stealing a cruise ship.”

“We commandeered it,” said Clint.  “Saving the world, remember?  You know, I’m pretty sure there’s a jewelry shop on one of the lower decks, by that plaza,” he added thoughtfully.

“You gonna commandeer some diamonds?” asked Sam.  “That’d surprise your wife, all right.”

“We’re not commandeering anything that isn’t essential to stopping Newton,” Nat said firmly.  She was almost certain Clint wouldn’t try it, but she wanted to nip the idea in the bud just in case.  “If anybody tries otherwise, Sharon will arrest them.”

“Uh, no, I don’t have any jurisdiction outside of Scotland,” Sharon reminded her.  “That’s why I didn’t even try to arrest Newton in Athens, remember?”

“Are sodas essential?” asked Jim.

“Yes,” said Nat.

“How so?” he wanted to know.

“I’m thirsty,” she replied, and tipped the can back to drink.

[dapperfvck-arc]

BASIC.

FULL NAME. John Constantine NICKNAME. officially, Conjob, mostly from his days on the punk scene. On the esoteric side of things he may be referred to “The Laughing Magician” or, more derisively “a petty dabbler”. BIRTHDAY. May 10 (by original Hellblazer canon, he was born in 1953, but I’ve taken it upon myself to adjust his birth year to some time in the early 70s give or take) ETHNIC GROUP.  Caucasian NATIONALITY.  English (with strongly implied deep Russian roots) LANGUAGE.  English, basic grasp of most major European languages, profound fluency in dead/magical/infernal languages SEXUAL ORIENTATION. Bisexual af RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Verse/continuity dependent, though this blog is fairly heavily multi-ship. However, it should be noted that on the MCU continuity, John is in an exclusive, committed relationship with Matt Murdock ( @dcviltongued ) CLASS. Middle to lower class. Is very good at getting fast money (scams, gambling, dealing in magic artifacts/antiques of questionable quality and veracity) so may appear to be better off at certain times HOME TOWN / AREA. Liverpool, England, but has been living in London since leaving the family home at 17. CURRENT HOME. Heavily verse/continuity/thread dependent. John is a frequent traveller. PROFESSION. Somewhat verse/continuity dependent. Really it’s just a matter of whether or not he charges for exorcisms or magic rituals. My personal endgame for John is legitimacy. Like becoming a preternatural PI (and sometimes mundane) for hire or whatever. As a general rule though, his profession is con artist. He’s never worked a honest day’s work in his life. The closest he ever got was when he was a “rock star”. He could also be considered a professional gambler, patronizing horse tracks, underground card games, legal casinos, and I imagine can hustle at pool. Scams range from blackmail to using his reputation as an occultist to take advantage of people willing to pay for spell work.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR. Short and usually rather messy. He rocks bedhead pretty aggressively. May be shaved and very short on the sides and styled into a faux to actual mohawk. He’s very blonde despite not getting very much sun as a general.  EYES. Electric blue, often almost fever bright. Deep and captivating, extremely intense straight on. NOSE. difficult to pin down due to the range of styles in which John have been drawn. Usually broad and more or less regular, occasionally somewhat crooked from being broken, though by and large, it’s portrayed as straight. Some artists, such as Moriat and Sean Murphy have drawn it as narrow and somewhat aquiline. I guess, I tend lean toward the former despite my deep love for Murphy’s interpretation of John, simply because I feel like my choice in FC is somewhat based on Tim Bradstreet and Leonardo Manco’s artistic interpretations of John, both of which I honestly adore just as well. FACE. Yet another loooong explanation here, I’m sorry. Artists tend to lean between giving him either a square face, classically handsome appearance (Steve Dillon, John Higgins, Ron Tiner, most of artists that have drawn him in the DC titles he’s appeared in), a broader, more every man appearance (Sean Phillips, Leonardo Manco to some degree, though later proved quite capable of drawing him stunningly handsome, and Tim Bradstreet), however still attractive but somewhat more haggard, stubbled, and/or slightly seedy in appearance, and finally a sharper, more diamond shape to his face featuring high cheekbones, a pointed chin and fine bone structure (Sean Murphy, Marcelo Frusin, and Moriat). Once more, in reference to my face claim for John, I suppose I tend to favour a more classically handsome appearance, simply because I like the idea of him having a pleasant, almost trustworthy face given that he is a con artist and considered an extremely good one (sometimes even the greatest con artist alive but idk whatever), and I feel like looking as dodgy as say, Frusin’s interpretation, I can’t imagine him being as successful as he is, you feel me? That guy looks like he’ll fuck you over for a corn chip. LIPS. Sensuous, faintly lined from his his smoking habit COMPLEXION.  Like any good Englishman that tends to move about by night and quite a bit dressed, John’s very pale. I do think he has a faintly pronounced undertone of pink. This colour will get brighter when he gets drunk, aroused, angry, or the exceedingly rare instance that he’s embarrassed  BLEMISHES. None SCARS. Aside from the scarification, which is better off detailed in the next section, and I ALWAYS FORGET TO MENTION THIS, he definitely has a long scar over one eye from a demon trying to cut it out with a blade. Since many magic rituals call for blood, I head canon that he also has faint scarring on his arms because he doesn’t practice human or animal sacrifice and his own blood instead.

TATTOOS. Arse tattoo of pine tree courtesy of Swamp Thing being a punk bitch, ritual tattoos faded into appearing as scarification. HEIGHT. 5′11 (184.34 cm) WEIGHT: prolly ranges between 150-160lbs (140 at his lightest) BUILD.  Long legs, somewhat of a broad upper torso, can be a bit soft in the middle. In general, he’s rather thin but his musculature is not usually very defined. In other words, no big, sexy pecs or cut abs. If anything he’s more sleek lines and narrow planes. ALLERGIES.  none USUAL HAIR STYLE. Freshly fucked USUAL CLOTHING. Dark suits, usually dark blue or black and trench coat, usually tan, has also been portrayed as black, yellow, or a mossy kinda green. In theory it could be said that these aren’t just differing interpretations from artists but that John owns coats in different colours, styles, and fabrics, but his favourite is the tan, longer style

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR. abandonment, amounting to nothing, not being able to protect those he cares about ASPIRATION. survival, making some kind of mark on this world, a measure of contentment POSITIVE TRAITS. Compassionate and determined, above all. Though not about to admit to it, he's still deeply idealistic. Strangely forgiving. He doesn’t really keep grudges. Loving, considerate, understanding, and rarely judgmental  NEGATIVE TRAITS. Those good things up above? They’re encased in a shell of harsh cynicism and apathy. Depending on his mood or particular part of his life depends on how hard a shell he is to crack. He may also experience depressive periods where he doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything and just wants to drink. VICE HABIT.  Chain smokes, drinks, frequency dependent on what’s up in his life, though I do not believe he’s an alcoholic, sorry, because lol look, drinking a lot doesn’t mean you have a dependency. Indulges in drugs infrequently, mostly hallucinogens and weed, though I also tend to head canon that he flirted with a cocaine habit while fronting Mucous Membrane.  FAITH.  It’s complicated GHOSTS? Duh. He sees them plain as any living person AFTERLIFE?  Yeah, but uh, he doesn’t consider them eternal respites. They’re just planes of existence that he can either enter, leave, or pull people out. REINCARNATION? Maybe? ALIENS? I meeeeaannn....technically in DCU he’s acquainted with the concept of aliens and may or may not have fucked Hal Jordan POLITICAL ALIGNMENT. Liberal ECONOMIC PREFERENCE. comfortable  SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION. working class warlock EDUCATION LEVEL.  Predominately self-educated. His frightfully intelligent and has been cited as having genius level intellect. Although I’m not sure I’d go so far as confirm that, I do thing he’s extremely clever and pragmatic. School bored him to tears and he was the type of kid the counselors and teachers say “exceedingly bright but unwilling to apply himself”. He reads voraciously, has an eidetic memory, and isn’t afraid of putting himself in new situations.

FAMILY.

FATHER.  Thomas (dead, murdered by the Family Man) MOTHER.  Mary Anne (died in child birth) SIBLINGS.  Cheryl (murdered by husband, currently residing in Hell), an unnamed twin brother referred to as the Golden Child or Boy, the true heir to the Laughing Magician (stillborn, soul was later absorbed by John in trippy magic ritual, only to be expelled later in life when it was revealed that...uh...he was influencing John’s destiny to be perpetually sabotaged. Hellblazer’s a weird comic, you guys) EXTENDED  FAMILY.  Gemma, his niece. They have a rather stormy relationship. Chas, his best mate. Lovers may also be included in this. NAME MEANING. John: Jehovah has been Gracious/Shown Favour (lmao) Constantine: Constant, steadfast, generally referred to as “The Constant One”

HISTORICAL CONNECTION. Is strongly implied that John’s related, if perhaps distantly, to Constantine the Great.

FAVOURITES.

BOOKS.  Prefers non-fiction MUSIC. Rock music, most notably 70s and 80s era punk rock. Likes the Pogues. Given the stack of evidence that John skirts the edge of the Goth scene cos he likes the aesthetic on women, I have a feeling he’s adopted into his music tastes. The Cure, Smiths, and Cocteau Twins in reference to an 80s mixtape John might make. Which i question the Smiths heavily, but The Cure and Cocteau Twins seems fairly legit. I bet Kit loved the Cocteau Twins. In that same vein of thought, although I tend to think John doesn’t like electronic music, he may have adopted some industrial bands into his preferences but he’s not about to talk about ti any time soon. DEITY.  Whichever one doesn’t hate him HOLIDAY.  doesn’t care MONTH. same SEASON.  Fall PLACE.  London or New York, in the case of sentimentality that he will never be able to get back to, the years when he was bumming around Ireland with Brenden and Kit WEATHER. Overcast SOUND.  He’s a city boy through and through, even if he may get frustrated with society on a whole, so he’s comforted by city sounds more than silence SCENT.  A freshly poured pint, the first cigarette of the day, skin and sex sweat TASTE.  Gin FEEL. He’s a sensualist. Body to body, breathing another person’s breath, his please, another person’s pleasure, his pleasure, all that good stuff. I also feel like he enjoys being drunk or stoned for the sake of having his thoughts dulled to a degree. He’s the sort of man who has lots of thoughts and situational observational input. John is basically perpetually mentally overstimulated and he likes the relief from that in inebriation. ANIMAL.  Fox  NUMBER.  hahaha idea numerology man COLOUR.  warm and neutral tones

EXTRA.

TALENTS. So many. He’s a jack of all trades in a lot of ways. He can pick a lock, displays some artistic talent in that he can draw very intricate magic circles and sigils, if you consider that John wrote Venus of the Hardsell, he’s clearly got some ability to express himself in lyrics and words, i like to think he can play guitar, is apparently good with delicate craftsmanship (he used to help Dani build furniture for her dollhouses. This is canon by the way), suppose you could say he can sort of sing, but that’s debatable, and of course he’s very manipulative and speaks very well, is educated enough to be able to bullshit through various situations. TURN ONS. Total ass man, loves a great ass on a man or woman, dark hair, dark eyes, strong men, he’s a switch, but loves being manhandled and dominated to a degree, by either gender, honestly, danger, open affection, being wanted, loved, and cherished. So many things, honestly. John Constantine is easy. TURN OFFS.   Hardcore kink HOBBIES. Sleep, pub crawls, pretending he’s normal, reading TROPES. Con man with a heart of gold, charming bastard, unrepentant rogue, urban magician, supernatural detective, living legend AESTHETICS. smoke, chalk dust, wind and rain swept streets, London after midnight, narrow, dark alleys, haunted places, rumpled bed sheets, messy hair, dive bars, wicked smiles, deep kisses

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC. Ewan McGregor // comic caps from various issues he’s appeared ALT  FC. Keanu Reeves for my filmverse OLDER  FC. Don’t have one as yet YOUNGER  FC. Ewan McGregor   VOICE  CLAIM.  Jason Stathem

Tagged by: @vamptrampbamf Tagging: lmao fuckin everyone.

[investingdaytrading]

I Still Haven’t Started With Live Trading Yet, Because I Am Afraid to “Click”

Relatively often, I find myself in situations where beginning traders are telling me that they have done all the necessary work such as backtesting and profitable papertrading, but they still can’t find the courage to click “live”. Therefore I will try to summarize a few pieces of advice and tips in today’s article. First of all, I would like to repeat that this advice is only for those who really underwent the necessary preparation work, i.e. they have done backtests to verify functionality of their system and have done papertrading for some time and were able to trade profitably for a couple of months (alternatively they have done only papertrading, i.e. without backtests, but in that case for a longer period of time and more precisely). Without these basic steps, the beginner doesn’t show a diligent and serious enough approach to trading and they absolutely shouldn’t click “live”, because they aren’t ready enough! As long as the beginner fulfills the requirements above, then, based on my experience, there are three types of fear to “click”, which I will try to describe more closely. Fear no.1: I am afraid to lose money I think that in connection with trading, this is one of the most common and most natural types of fear. Nobody wants to lose money and, for the vast majority of beginners, the concept of occasional loss that is part of a long-term profitable trading, is difficult to take in. Up until now, we were used to getting some kind of reward for every activity – in trading, this type of thinking is failing and it is even getting worse because of the factor that after a few hours, days, or even months of activity the outcome can be loss. This is why the fear of loss of money is completely natural and not always wrong. This fear has its positive side, because it helps conscientious individuals and it is pushing them towards better preparation and to make an effort to not underestimate anything. And thus, it is important to realize if this is the fear that is stopping us to “click”. If the answer is ‘yes’, then it is important to openly confess to yourself if possible loss per trade represents a considerable amount (i.e. amount that we aren’t willing to lose, because in our normal life it represents a lot of money) or if it is an amount that doesn’t mean anything significant and a factual loss of such amount won’t be a major problem. If we are talking about the first option, i.e. situation when possible loss from trading is unbearably high and it represents a lot of money, the advice is rather simple: Either you are undercapitalized, or you risk per trade more than what we are willing to lose and bear. In such case it is necessary to increase the account or move to a cheaper market (with lower volatility), alternatively lower timeframe – to achieve decrease of our stop-loss to a level that won’t be as painful. Or alternatively to do both (i.e. slightly increase the account and through a change of market or timeframe decrease the risk per trade). If it is the second option, then the fear of loss of money probably isn’t the real problem. Maybe you are just telling yourself that this is the main problem and that the fear of loss of money has the biggest influence on you – but it can be just a conscious belief, which is far from what is happening in your subconscious. Then the real cause can be one of the other types of fears. Fear no.2: I am afraid to fail, I am afraid I am not good enough This type of fear is more serious, because it is connected to subconscious models resulting from failures and lack of success in the past (which lead to lower self-confidence). In the past if we suffered some substantial failure (even deeper, in our childhood) which could negatively influence us, or if we failed in something essential (effort to sustain a business, effort to make a significant change, etc.), our self-confidence can be considerably broken and our subconscious can slow us down from any other effort in order to protect us from another possible disappointment. The advice here is substantially more difficult and if there is a deeper problem, it can be helpful to consult this with a professional psychologist who can help to find and eliminate such subconscious blocks and fears. Personally, I have tried various types of meditation and other alternative ways for similar types of subconscious fears, but I respect that not everyone is willing to try them. Yet I think that the best way is simply to click and live through the possible first loss in the market – to see that there is nothing horrible about it! Broadly speaking, there are only two possibilities to “force” yourself into this first click. The first one is to plan and prepare everything in advance. The better and more detailed planning of our first click, the higher the probability of its realization. First of all, set yourself a target that for example next week (don’t postpone it too much) at a particular day and time you do that first click. For example, you can say that it will be on Wednesday, which is for some reason the calmest day for you and that it will be between 4 and 6pm, the period you have done your training on. But, ideally, you will do that first click in the first 30 minutes after the market opens and you definitely take the first trade according to plan as soon as it occurs. Afterwards, for the rest of the week, visualize that “Wednesday” (or you can choose any other day) before you go to sleep. Imagine that the day has come, imagine in detail how you sit in front of the computer and you patiently wait for a trade according to plan and when it comes, you click on the mouse without any hesitation. Experience and envision your feelings (it doesn’t matter what feelings you have, don’t think about them too much), imagine both possible scenarios – that the first trade will be both loss and gain. The day before your set date, stop thinking about anything and when that day comes, just calmly do what you have visualised a few days ago. You will see that it isn’t as bad as it seemed – once this first experience is behind you, the other ones will surely be simpler and you will slowly get used to it! The second option sounds a bit crazy, but it works as well. Now go to your computer (or at the earliest possible moment). Open the chart and click BUY or SELL (completely blindley, it is absolutely insignificant if you buy or sell), count calmly to 3 – and then close your position. And it is done. Your first trade is behind you; you clicked. Nothing terrible has happened, you are alive and healthy, you survived, and it wasn’t difficult at all! So why so much fuss about it? It was a piece of cake! Done; now you just have to repeat it based on your signals according to your trading plan, and you are where you want to be. There is no need to make it complicated. Fear no.3: I am afraid of change The last type of fear may sound a bit strange, but it also has its own reason and explanation. The human brain doesn’t like change. The human brain prefers the past (which it likes to idealize), it declines to its deep-rooted stereotypes (this is why most of the people like to run on “autopilot”) and it refuses any kind of change. Just try to imagine how you would react if your boss arrives to your workplace tomorrow and exchanges people amongst departments and also changes their job descriptions from last week. Trading is a change – a significant change. It can mean anything (a successful future isn’t guaranteed) and whatever outcome will be, it can sound terrifying. If we lose, it can be an unpleasant change to worse; if we succeed, at present we think that it will be great to start a new dream life – but in reality we can’t really imagine actual steps towards such a considerable life change, because in that current moment such a big change is rather dramatic for our brain! And so, our brain can subconsciously sabotage us to keep us as long as possible in our current comfort of apparent certainty that at least we know what tomorrow will bring. The brain loves its certainties (even the bad ones and horrible ones – for many people unsuccessful and depressing relationships are still better than none at all, and rubbish and hated jobs are still a better solution than to take a risk, leave a job and search for a new one) and subconsciously it can block many of our efforts to change. For example, it can constantly block our efforts to click “live”, which could be understood as a first step towards possible change. So, what to do in such a case? Simply initiate in our life as many small changes as possible, which slightly “derail” our routine stereotypes and help us gain more self-confidence to click. Choose a different, new route to work from tomorrow on. Do something you have wanted to do for some time now, or do something crazy this weekend, like bungee jumping, go-carts, etc. Try a meal you have never tried before and go to a restaurant you have never been to before. Do something, anything, that changes your usual rhythm and stereotype for a couple of days or weeks. It is necessary to train your brain for changes, to teach it new flexibility. Then it should be considerably easier to click, because once your brain gets used to a repeated disruption of stereotypes, it will be much better prepared for a change – and so for your first click. These are today’s advices and tips. Don’t be afraid to combine a few of them at the same time. I wish you good luck and courage! Happy Trading!

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