#this is puppets blog. only sometimes do i post the real people

[puppet-purgatory]

watcher's reblog got me a Lot of new followers, so to you all: Hello! This is what the blog is about 👇👇

[twilightprince101]

Let's be careful before labeling Wally or Home as "The Villain" of Welcome Home

Or anyone for that matter imo

Listen, I can completely understand why people would go to that conclusion. "So Below" and the eerie vibe that Wally gives off in his obsession don't exactly give either a flattering light (I know there are also the art pieces on Clown's personal blog, but I'm not counting anything that hasn't been officially released yet)

But whenever someone labels a character who is acting weird as "the villain," it puts a bad taste in my mouth. At the end of the day, characters in fiction are real people with motivations, so labeling one as "evil" or "the villain" can sometimes erase that complexity. And after the most recent update, we know that Wally has A Lot of very, very complicated feelings about the situation.

Before I get into that though, I wanna point out something that Clown himself has said describes the brand of horror that "Welcome Home" gives off to themselves personally. Click here for the link to the post.

Before I get into that though, I wanna point out something that Clown himself has said describes the brand of horror that "Welcome Home" gives off to themselves personally. Click here for the link to the post.

"My home doesn't feel like home anymore."

That line sticks to me pretty hard. There's a pervasive feeling of unfamiliarity, unreality, that exists in the core of the story itself.

I think we see, firsthand, Wally experiencing this in the latest updates. In all of the hidden Bug/Answer secret videos, we see a familiar pattern. We get some sort of scene of two other characters talking, a scene in whatever universe they call home, until at the very end one of the characters addresses Wally (who was apparently there the whole time) and the video glitches out.

A key part that not a lot of people seem to realize though is that these videos are from Wally's perspective. See the above picture with Wally's hands. In every scene, Wally is present and was supposedly taking part in an activity (in the above one, helping Poppy with knitting), before the video started playing.

Whenever I saw these videos I had that same feeling that something felt. Different. The interactions felt like scenes you would see in the animated/cartoony aesthetic we'd see from the various art pieces, it doesn't feel like it's "on set/TV" to me. They're moreso just intimate glimpses into their lives. But they're shot in the real world, and that feels. Wrong.

This is very likely the same feeling that Wally's having in that moment. "My home doesn't FEEL like home." It's like he's disassociating, having a brief episode of that unreality feeling. Those bouts of strangeness don't go away until, like clockwork, someone says his name and the video ends, snapping him out of it.

Do other people in the neighborhood also feel the same way? Maybe, but we don't know. What we do know is that Wally, whether or not he tries to explain this to others, feels isolated by this sensation. "My neighbors are only neighborly until they know I'm different in a way they can see."

The only other person he likely shares this feeling with? I'd take a guess that it's Home. Nearly every time Home has been featured, Wally has been there, close. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the only physical puppets/props we’ve seen of the cast are Wally and Home.

According to this post by @eldritchravens, Home is the only other person who talks directly to Us, the viewers. That's probably why they're so close, because they're the only ones who can truly confide in each other about this.

"So does that mean Home is manipulating Wally?"

Again, I really don't think that's the case. I don't wanna call people villains quite yet. Besides, we see (or well, hear) Home and Barnaby have a conversation together, and from how Barnaby reacts it's fairly casual.

This shared feeling is likely why Wally is so obsessed with us, including the Restoration Employee. They seem to be sharing a similar sensation to Wally's bouts of unreality, in the fact that it seems they're the ONLY one who doesn't remember Welcome Home being a thing. They seem to be one of the few things that Wally (and maybe even Home) consider to be "Real." Hence their obsession with "seeing" us.

"Isn't this Wally or Home manipulating the Employee though?"

Maybe, I don't know. We don't really know much of what's going on right now, we're only getting glimpses. For all we know this could be a side-effect of Wally/Home trying to reach out. For the time being though, I want to keep my own expectations in check. I'm choosing not to label Wally, Home, The Restoration Team or anyone as a "villain" until something definitive comes up.

It is very, very likely that Wally is going to be doing something more dangerous later down the line (or maybe even is doing so now). But if he's doing anything, I get the feeling it's more out of desperation. He wants something to quell this feeling inside of him, this pervasive sense of unreality, and to connect with something he feels is "real." And, for better or for worse, that thing is us.

This whole thing isn't to bash on people for speculation or theorycrafting, I personally think speculation is very healthy! But it's still important to remember what the core of this story is going to be. We're only seeing the very start of the story right now, and we don't know what'll happen down the line. It's useful to keep that core idea at the center of our speculation so we can have reasonable expectations going forward.

As for me? This doesn't feel like a story with villains. I don't think he'll pull a Monika from DDLC and start gaining a kill count, but if something does happen to the rest of the cast, my money is that it'll happen completely by accident, and he'll regret it. Hard.

[permetutotheworld]

hi my name is Persephone, but you can call me Seph/Sephy,

I use they/xe pronouns, I’m an asexual lesbian, I’m autistic+adhd,

and I’m a minor (please don’t be creepy I’ve already had two people message me being weird and sexual)

I write a lot of poetry and I’m writing a book at the moment based off of the idea of multiple universes existing at a time, I sing and I love performing, specifically musical theatre

I ALSO TAKE REQUESTS!! I write poetry mostly for them but microfics tooo, for good omens, the marauders, percy jackson, les mis and any TJ Klune books that ive read, just pop a prompt into my inbox and ill do my best to get jt to you as fast as i can <3

my fandoms are : Les Mis, good omens, pjo, marauders, hunger games, aru shah, marvel, doctor who, epic the musical and Tj Clune books

my favourite music: queen, Maisie peters, the last dinner party, the crane wives, Taylor Swift, Florence and the machine, rene Rapp, Chappell roan, David Bowie, blondie, boygenius, Paris paloma, most musicals

favourite books: house in the cerulean sea, under the whispering door, in the lives of puppets (all by TJ Klune)

my tags:

Persephone yaps: my silly little commentary on anything that happens to me

persephone vents: my life low-key sucks quite a lot at time so I vent a bit but I make sure to trigger warning everything triggering

Persephone writes silly stuff: I write silly little poems and stories that I post sometimes

Lovely moots :3 : for my lovely moots

Persephone loves their gf <3 : thats right guys i love my gf so mich and i talk about her a lot

perpendicular universe: posts about my fantasy novel im working onnn

Please dni if you’re queerphobic or discriminate against minorities in general, if you support trump or other dickwads like him or if you’re just going to be mean

also I do struggle a lot with mental health so I probably will randomly disappear or vent but I’ll make sure to trigger warning everything below the cut: my rp blogs, my moots and my fics

My rp blogs:

@nico-sees-dead-people @prongsie-rambles @regulus-the-star @pandora-opens-the-box @sunshine-boy-official

@enjolsaurus-rex @sunshine-prongsie-boy @panda-reads-your-death @lily-petals-falling @stars-andpoems @marlene-and-co @here-and-a-deer

if you like my blog you should check out my amazing mutuals whom I love and adore:

@xenocollector LES MIS RAAA

@sauntering-vaguelydownward literally so sweet ilysm/platonically

@marylily-my-beloved love you Fatimah omg

@aidens-ocean-galaxy very purple coded person and very cool also so genuinely lovely we live laugh love Juno in this household

@theoristswan5683 literally so nice omg they have the loveliest vibes 😭

@ashstillalive Amazing writer amazing person will happily beta read for you anytime

@mae-occasionally-reads so sweet so lovely so cool so glad we’re mutuals love you so much/platonic vibes only MY BEST FRIEND ILYYYSMMM/pl <3333

@definitionoffuckup AL very cool individual

@rafaelthesilly I KNOW YOU IN REAL LIFE POOKIE YOURE THE BEST LESBIAN BUDDIE MY AMAZING SPOUSE ILYSM (platonically)

@inezrable I have more octopus facts for you!!!!!!!

@garden-of-runar the coolest person alive still can’t believe you followed me back althought yoir spice tolerance js weird as shit/lh and paprika is not spicy

@ravenwordss literally so sweet love you/pl

@pyromaniacbibliophile my spouse bc we are married

@cossie-fauchelevant the one and only cosette to my enjolras <3

@delinda24601 SHES SO COOL MY IRL BUS BESTIE LOVE HER TO BITS I FOUNDED HER FAN CLUB SHES SO SUPER COOL GUYS 🩷🩷🩷🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

@im-on-crack-send-help RIYANAAA SO SUPER COOL ILYSM

@startswithahell - cant wait for those unhinged asks omgomg

@biggestqiblifan - I LOVE YOU SM/pl

@the-eclipse-is-in-me - one of my favouritest people on this hellsite

@circe-butbetter - JANA!!! So incredibly cool and iconic

@joanmonet - JOAN!! IRL!! SHE GAVE ME TURKISH DELIGHT AND IS LITERALLY MY WIFE VERY COOL WE SHARE LIKE 90% OF THE SAME INTERESTS !!!! WHAT AN ICON!!! WE FRICKING SAUTÉED ON THOSE EXAMS!!!

@statueofgalatea - 🫵🫵 IN REAL LIFE BEST FRIEND LOVE YOU SMSMSMSM SHARER OF HYPERFIXATIONS LISTENERS OF LESBIAN RANTS LOVE YOU BABE

[wileycap]

Alright, my algorithm content is filling up with crazy people whom I've been dutifully blocking (don't judge me sometimes I want tumblr to feed me pictures of cats like I'm a small baby bird) which, you know, we all know why it's happening in an American election year.

So I'd like to caution you against one of the more insidious types of posts they have.

The Reasonable Post.

I'm going to be using the words Cats and Dogs to describe any (false) dichotomy that these people want to push. Why? Because this shit is as depressing as a single lost candy in a tin of sewing supplies. Obviously most people can see what the following examples are patterned after, but this sort of thing happens with any number of groups. Creating dichotomies and conflating different groups of Others (i.e. harnessing existing hate towards Group A by suggesting that they are all also members of Group B, with Group B being the real target) is the bread and butter of information warfare.

Imagine the following post:

"Not all Dogs are bad and we shouldn't prejudge every single Dog."

That is a Reasonable Post. Everyone can agree with it and usually they should. There is nothing wrong with that post, it really is just a very uncontroversial statement that the vast majority of people should be able to agree with. It is deliberately ignorant of any social context or the framework in which these discourses happen, but it's not wrong.

But let's consider the framing. The post exists as part of a blog, which, by unfortunate happenstance, also has other posts in it.

So, We Can't Classify Every Dog As Evil (good post, 3000 notes) exists within the same space as classics like...

Cats complain, Dogs do.

The purpose of a Cat is to stay indoors and protect the house from pests. This is one of the hardest jobs out there, and Cats should be praised!

A Dog has to HUNT. Cats will never understand this. (A/N: if you google "are cats predators" this will become a Very Funny hypothetical post from a nonexistent blog discussing a nonexistent dichotomy.)

Dogs: "Alright, human, today I've helped you with hunting, tracking and herding sheep! If there's anything else you need me to do, I've still got energy!" Cats: "Today I laid around doing nothing. Where's my food? Also my bed is bad so I stole the Dog's."

Oh, look, 5 Cats who committed Cat Crimes. I wonder if they'll receive a fair and proportionate punishment...

Et cetera, et cetera. The posts will continue to escalate, from seemingly harmless to outright hateful. They will attack existing social structures to frame them as favoring the Other. The Reasonable Post acts like the funnel theory in sales, reaching a large audience and sucking as many of them in as possible until only a few "sales" happen - but it also serves as a shorthand for likeminded people (a dogwhistle, if you will) via its framing and content that this is a blog that promotes the ideology they want to see.

*I've also noticed that a lot of these blogs have "traditional" or "vintage" pinup art. This could just be a matter of personal preference (after all, I like old timey boobs as much as the next girlie), or it could be another funnel, where people who would like to see More Boobs click on the blogs and find some boobs, but also the other stuff. Not that this has ever happened to me.

After the blog establishes some sort of following, they're usually free to engage in more extreme discourse. The Reasonable Post can then be used as a shield: "I was only saying what I've been saying all along: you shouldn't judge all Dogs. I'm sorry if that offends you."

There is also a highly desireable side effect for the Reasonable Post - it can drive people to disagree with what really is an uncontroversial, widely accepted opinion. Of course, the people disagreeing are usually (a) crazy themselves, (b) fourteen, (c) directing their interactions at the wider framework of their post, not the uncontroversial statement itself or (d) a combination. They might even be sock puppets. But these interactions are extremely valuable to these kinds of blogs. All of a sudden, they have an Enemy - an unreasonable person who probably wants to kill all of the Dogs!!! This is what we're fighting against! Rally!

And then the screenshots of those interactions can be fed into Facebook for easy outrage, or a "meme account", or any number of places where they can gain traction. They are used to reinforce existing ingroup loyalties and to bolster hate against outgroups. They are used to muddle the waters, to make extremist ideas seem like reasonable discourse and to provide plausible deniability. They are used to discredit "the opposition". Remember: fascism always requires an enemy that is both strong and weak.

Many fascist and extremist movements in the age of social media use these same tools to recruit and to advertise, and this post - while long - barely scratches the surface.

However, there is a very good way to limit the damage. Think critically about posts you see, this one included. (I should state that I'm, like, a huge leftist, and all that that implies) Familiarize yourself with common dogwhistles. Vet the blogs you see - a quick glance is usually all it takes. Block the user and don't interact with the post. Don't give it visibility.

And remember: you are not immune to propaganda.

[granulesofsand]

Good gay/night/else, Dune! Never wrote you (probably, I don't remember) but now I have a question and wander if you guys can know answer. Do not answer if what is inside makes you feel uneasy or bad or smth else, take care of yourselves, you are one of my favourite blogs to follow

TW for programming, brief mention of torture, sex and missing limbs (nothing detailed, not real gore)

So.

1) our whole life (as we remember it) our legs sometimes just deactivate randomly during day. We always needed to spend some time to make them work again

2) as we understood more about being system, we noticed that "no-no legs" is actually switching to somebody

3) it's nonhuman alter that "smells" like somebody related to sex, thinking about itself as thing made for sex

4) we probably have programming and do wander if it's programmed alter or smth like this

We have bad feelings about it. It feels very wrong. We wonder if you have ever seen something like this or expiriensed it. We heared only about hc-did systems being tortured aka programmed to think that body misses limbs, but we don't remember anything like this and we never had even big bruises in childhood, our parents would notice

🗝️🏷️ programming/torture and deprogramming details, sex and sexuality, RAMCOA in general

We’ve heard of a few similar experiences, and I’m fairly certain all of the ones I’m thinking of were from RAMCOA systems. I’m going to respond to each of the numbers as best I can, and we’ll see how that goes.

1) That sounds like dissociative paralysis (assuming y’all don’t have a physical condition causing it), which I’ve seen in both system members who thought that body part was absent or who had to hold the body in a certain position.

The main thing is that whoever is paralyzed doesn’t know they can move the body part that isn’t working. I have read about system members coming to this conclusion on their own, but even then it was usually because they were conditioned into it while forming.

Programs that can have this effect on legs include: doll/puppet, animal (especially snakes or those whose limbs don’t work like humans’), statue, and any punishments that were targeting that body part.

2) It could be switching, passive influence (especially if the one doing it is less elaborated) or someone whose job it is to turn on that paralysis (it can look like a button, a switch, a lever, a book, anything). The best way to find out (if you can’t observe them do the thing) is by asking.

We’ve seen some of your posts about conflict between alters, and, from experience, people who don’t trust you don’t tend to answer. Building rapport has to come first, otherwise you risk punishment and retaliation.

Reassuring them that there won’t be consequences (only if it’s true) and writing it out somewhere the others won’t stumble upon it can help, because there’s less chance of someone hurting them and it might get around don’t-talk rhetoric if they’ve been taught it.

3) The non-humanness of the alter doesn’t necessarily imply they’re programmed, but smelling like a perp (or anyone, really) is something I’ve never heard for by-chance alters. The believing they’re made for sex can be tended to the same regardless of origin, and looking to programmed survivors might help kick-start the healing process purely because it’s a common belief for programmed alters.

We usually start the same for anyone who has strict self-concepts like this, which is by giving them choices wherever possible. Simple things, yes-no questions like if they want ketchup with fries (and giving them space to choose outside the yes-no as long as it isn’t causing harm), then open-ended questions like what their favorite fruit is, then slightly more abstract ones like what their favorite color is.

You& can skip the orange paragraph, it has to do with sex and sexuality.

If that doesn’t work, we move to treating it as a sexual problem. Sometimes we have to get their attention by putting on (ideally non-harmful, or fictional is the next step) porn or using the kind of touch they’re used to (but let them do it or keep it to your most trusted systemmates, then move to your& most trusted outside people) and then packing in as much information as they can hold while you’re around them.

A harm reduction approach helps to make progress without immediately demanding perfection. Decide what the end goal is for this person and set incremental targets. Celebrate every target met, even if it’s not how you envisioned it happening.

4) If it is programmed, there are a lot of ways for perps to get this reaction without causing marks. Holding the position, for example, or limiting the amount of space that person had to move around could have them maintaining that behavior when they no longer need to. Hiding their legs or a larger impact could have them believing their legs aren’t usable without damaging the skin.

Our system consensus is that programming is the intention and the effect, and if the conditioning had both, it counts. You& don’t have to agree with that, and labels are always optional. You& can address the symptoms without naming the cause, or you can give it another name if ‘programming’ isn’t helpful.

The discomfort (or other bad feeling, if that’s too mildly connotated for you&) could be leaking over from those who do remember, or it could be that you’re recognizing something is strange about the situation. Human brains are very good at picking up on subtle details, and trusting that something is up because of those alarms is generally healthy.

Still do try to treat everyone with dignity and respect, including if they feel wrong, but have plans for going forward in both cases, whether the feeling is correct or not. Especially with trauma, it’s easy to decide someone isn’t worth helping, and that’s not conducive to healing whatever wounds are present here.

I’m glad you’re& noticing members in pain, even if you& can’t or aren’t ready to help them yet. Creating bonds and strengthening them will keep your system on a different path from whatever your& perps intended, and spite is a hell of a motivator. I believe in your& ability to heal, pitfalls and lapses included.

[xclowniex]

Been thinking a lot about bean soup theory.

For those who don't know what it is, last year on tik tok, an account which only posts various bean soup recipes, got fed up at people asking for non bean soup recipies. They said something to the effect of

"If you want non bean soup recipies, go somewhere else. I'm only going to post bean soup recipies and if you don't like it then don't watch"

And it honestly applies to so many things right now.

My blog is mainly about antisemitism. If you don't wanna see that, don't follow me. Block me even, if my content keeps getting recommended to you to stop it from getting recommended.

The search function exists for a reason. You can search for content that you actually want to see instead of waiting to be spoon fed content by mommy algorithm.

Another point, just like how an account posting only bean soup recipies doesn't inherently mean that the creator thinks all other soups suck ass, me and other jews only posting about antisemitism doesn't mean we hate Palestine/Palestinians or arabs.

Sure those two things can sometimes cross over, but it's not something that's inherent to posting about antisemitism and not even something that most blogs who do post about antisemitism also think.

People online are real people! Like I am a whole ass human who has a life outside of my posts. I'm not a puppet which posts for your entertainment.

[p5x-theories]

What We Know About P5X

(updated 1/23/24)

Persona 5: The Phantom X (P5X) has now had three beta tests, the first of which ran from March 29th to 31st 2023, the second of which ran from August 18th to 25th 2023, and the third of which is running from January 16th to 31st 2024. Here’s a summary of what we know about the game itself so far. Hopefully this’ll be useful, whether you're new around here or not!

I also have updated posts about the game's story and playable characters so far, which can be found in this blog's pinned post (along with this post!) once they're all done.

Keeping this as succinct as I can, but it's still a little long, so under the cut it goes.

Overview

P5X is a turn-based RPG mobile game with gacha elements, developed by Black Wings Game Studio and published by Perfect World Games. While not directly creating it, it is officially licensed by Atlus and Sega. Atlus has apparently been very involved in its production, including Shigenori Soejima designing the protagonist and his Persona.

The game's setting has been confirmed to be an alternate/"parallel" world to Persona 5's, though translated promotional information also confirms the plot has something to do with these two worlds interacting through "time and space".

As Perfect World Games and Black Wings Game Studio are Chinese game companies, P5X is produced in Chinese, with no current official English translations, though the third beta had files that possibly indicate future plans to translate the game into English, Spanish, and Japanese, among other languages. The dialogue in-game is voiced in both Japanese and Chinese, with Japanese and Chinese voice actors for the characters.

There are specifically two main gachas in the game- a character gacha for gaining teammates, and a weapons gacha for gaining better weapons for those teammates.

Right now, we know the game will release on both mobile and PC, but it’s unconfirmed whether it will release anywhere outside of China, Taiwan, Macao, Hong Kong, and Korea, and we don’t yet have a release date for even the Chinese version of the full game. All three of the beta tests so far have been closed betas available only in China, Taiwan, Macao, and Hong Kong, where players could sign up for a chance to get in, and actual beta accounts were given out via lottery.

The Characters

So far, there are 16 new Persona users. These characters can be divided into story teammates and "Phantom Idol" (gacha-only) teammates.

The story teammates so far are the protagonist (codename Wonder), an owl named Ruferu in Japanese which has sometimes been translated as "Luffy" by fans (codename Cattle), an athletic classmate of the protagonist's named Motoha Arai (codename Closer), and a boy from another class with an interest in cooking named Shun Kanou (codename Soy). These teammates have all joined as part of the plot of the game.

The "Phantom Idol" teammates ("Kaidoru" in Japanese) are described as being cognitive beings created by Wonder's Velvet Room attendant, Merope, to assist him in the Metaverse, and seem to be based on people Wonder meets, though they are only copies. So far, they include Motoha's friend Tomoko Noge (codename Moko), first year student Kiyoshi Kurotani (codename Key), Wonder's family friend Kayo Tomiyama (codename Okyann), college freshman from China Yaoling Li (codename Rin), an aspiring acting student whose real name may be Reo Kamiyama (codename Leon), a student from Kosei High named Yukimi Fujikawa (codename Yuki), rich high school student Seiji Shiratori (codename Fleuret), a former ice skater whose real name may be Kotone Montagne (codename Mont), an online friend of Wonder's who goes by the name Yui (codename Bui), a children's fashion model whose real name may be Hina Nishimori (codename Riddle), an unemployed fisherman whose real name may be Toshiya Sumi (codename Sepia), and the runaway daughter of a local politician whose real name may be Miyu Sawara (codename Puppet).

The original Phantom Thieves from Persona 5 also appear as Phantom Idols: Joker, Mona, Skull, Panther, Fox, Queen, Oracle, Noir, and Crow. Datamining also found some of Wolf’s battle voice lines from P5S at least in the first beta, and an icon from P5S with Sophie in all three betas, suggesting they may later be added as well. No sign of Violet has been found yet, other than the Faith Arcana card in the files. Joker, at the very least, seems to have some larger role in the plot, as Wonder has a dream about them fighting at the start of the third beta, and later what seems to be a Phantom Idol Joker comes out of nowhere to rescue Wonder and Cattle in Mementos.

Munehisa Iwai, Tae Takemi, and Chihaya Mifune also return in P5X. Iwai runs the weapon gacha, Takemi sells medicine like in P5, and Chihaya tells fortunes. The other original P5 confidants’ portraits and 3D models have been found in all three betas' data, and the Councillor Arcana card was with the other cards in the second and third betas' data specifically, but it’s currently unknown whether they’ll actually return in any capacity.

Music

Several new songs have been heard in P5X, four of which feature vocals by Lyn: "Last Strike", "Wake Up Your Hero", "Shadow", and "Fatal Desire". The new instrumental tracks so far include background music for the first two Palaces, background music for special fights, a new music track for Mementos, and some music for P5X's rhythm minigame, where Wonder plays music with fellow students.

Locations

The majority of P5 and P5R’s locations have been confirmed for P5X, including Yongen-Jaya, Kichijoji, Shibuya, and Shinjuku, but the protagonist lives in a new location called Zoshigaya, and goes to a new school called Kokatsu Academy. Another school named Kiga High School has also been mentioned.

(Note that while Yongen-Jaya exists, Leblanc has been replaced with a generic coffee shop, which is eventually purchased and run by someone other than Sojiro Sakura. Similarly, the Big Bang Burger in Shibuya is now just called Big Burger, with no apparent traces of the space theming, and the Crossroads bar in Shinjuku has also been rebranded.)

Mementos and the concept of Palaces also return in P5X, though there are some differences. At least in the betas, Mementos operates as a sort of hub, with characters entering Palaces through Mementos, from the entrance to each Palace located within the massive floors of Mementos. Mementos also has special battle locations apparently similar to “domains” in other gacha games, where completing the fight gives special items to strengthen characters and weapons, themed after P5′s Palaces (so far Kamoshida, Madarame, Kaneshiro, and Okumura's Palace-themed "domains" have been found).

Basic Game Mechanics

For the most part, P5X operates extremely similarly to P5, both in and out of the Metaverse. One notable difference is that the calendar isn't progressed by anything but the story- other activities, such as working, crafting infiltration tools, and spending time with Confidants, instead cost hourglasses to do, without being restricted to a single afternoon and nighttime time slot each day, as was the case in P5.

One interesting and more significant change made in this category is that the Confidants have what appears to be a total of 20 ranks, instead of the series-standard 10. They also haven't been associated with any Arcana, though the P5R Arcana cards have all been found in the second beta's data.

The UI elements of combat look a little different (as well as all the skill animations), appearing to be more optimized for mobile play, but otherwise it seems largely the same to P5, though one notable difference is that it seems Navigator skills can be called in at will (and then have a cooldown), rather than occurring randomly. There is a new kind of special attack called a Highlight Attack, which is similar to P5S’s Showtime attacks where the character executes a special attack with their Persona.

The protagonist can gain Personas by talking to shadows, and fuse them in the Velvet Room. Challenge battles in the Velvet Room, like in P5R, are available to attempt. Palace exploration also seems relatively standard, even if the Palace itself and the method of entering it is different. One major change is that several shadow/Persona designs have been censored; this includes Incubus and many others being given shorts, Bugs' stomach being repaired with the blood removed, Mara being given a large hat, Hell Biker and other skeletal Personas having a helmet/mask that obscures the skull, and several female Personas like Lamia being given shirts. However, these changes are purely cosmetic.

Miscellaneous

It’s worth noting that because the game has yet to be officially translated to English in any capacity (outside of a single file confirming its English title as "Persona 5: The Phantom X"), character names can only be absolutely confirmed when they’re either written in Japanese kana (as opposed to the Japanese kanji characters names are typically written in) or spoken aloud in official material, to confirm which reading of the Japanese name is the intended one for this specific character.

The characters do also have Chinese names, of course, but as the voice acting defaults to Japanese, and the game is set in Japan, the names that would most likely be used by an English release (if it ever happens) are their Japanese ones. As such, the Japanese names are the ones presented in the Characters section earlier in this post, and the main ones that this blog uses.

All the codenames, however, are written in English, and thus the most easily confirmed as official.

And just to close this out, keep in mind that the majority of our information about the game contents specifically comes from the beta versions, so things can and have changed between beta playtests, and similarly may change in the actual release of the game.

[ranahan]

Originally this was a long-ass post about how this is a reductive and US-centric take, with many non-US examples pulled from my personal and family history. On a second thought however, I’m not sure I want to go there, so I’m gonna cut to the chase with this:

I’m not pro or contra fictional characters or sides—you couldn’t pay me to care that much, I’ve got real life problems to deal with. But I do find Mandalorian culture and politics of both sides compelling because of reasons of personal and family history and the parallels I can draw with Mandalorian history and the issues of pacifism vs. militarism.

I also enjoy fandom precisely because it allows you to explore all sorts of perspectives and narratives the original material didn’t cover (whether it was because it had a different focus, didn’t have the budget, or was too chickenshit to go there). Fandom generally does this by reinterpretating, reimagining, selecting and remixing the original material. If you want to write the New Mandalorians as a native peace movement in protest of the failed colonialist policies of their ancestors, you can. If you want to write the New Mandalorians as the Republic’s puppet government committing cultural genocide, you can. If you want to make them both at the same time, desperate to end the bloodshed, yet equally desperate to not be glassed by the Republic again, carefully balancing this double-bladed sword—you can. (And personally I wish I’d see more of the last sort.)

When it comes to Star Wars specifically, I think we should also acknowledge that it’s a fecking huge body of work and it’s entirely reasonable to expect that not all fans have consumed the entirety of it, nor might they be aware of what material is or isn’t considered canon or legends or even fanon. We also shouldn’t consider getting a degree in Star Wars to be a prerequisite for participating in fandom or meta discussions about fandom. So please keep in mind that people participating in these discussions might have been exposed to only some parts of the Star Wars narrative and might be drawing their conclusions from partial evidence. Not to mention that Star Wars itself is sometimes contradictory.

Not all people participating in these discussions are American, either. Whether you are or aren’t, keep in mind that some of your assumptions and associations (“military = vehicle of violent colonialism” vs. “military = keeps us from being violently oppressed by our bigger fascist neighbour”) may be specific to your cultural context and may not be shared globally.

My bottom line is this: don’t like, don’t read. It’s the same damn discussion we have about kinks in fandom. If you want to write about violence, non-con, terrorism, pacifism, colonialism, cultural genocide, or any other “problematic” subject, you can and it doesn’t mean that you personally agree with the opinions of your characters or want to do those things in real life. If you as a reader don’t want to read about those subjects, then you can just not read about them—but you don’t get to shame other fans or writers for exploring those narratives. Just move on.

Does that mean we shouldn’t have meta discussions about Mandalorian politics? Of course not! But keep the discussions about fictional characters to the realm of fiction and literary analysis and leave off the ad hominem arguments. This goes for both sides of this argument. Please and thank you.

P.s. OP, this not aimed personally at you. This debate has been going on in various blogs on my dash for a good long while and your post just happened to be the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.

I am sorry, but each time I see Star Wars fan complains that Satine destroyed Mandalore culture, I imagine OP as some kind of caricatural American Dude with shotgun, shouting: FUCKING LIBS DESTROY OUR AMERICAN CULTURE WITH THEIR GUN LAWS!

[ofavernus]

I DID NOT FALL. I ROSE TO SHOULDER A COSMIC BURDEN.

ind. semi-selective, private rp blog for zariel of dungeons and dragons (as well as a few related characters, such as BG3's mizora) est. 8 / 21 / 2023, and written by fawkes ( he/they, 27 ). i’m mutuals-only, and low-activity. timezone is GMT-8. follows back from @voxdraconis.

rules and info below.

information.

this is a blog for antagonists, so it'll be relatively low-activity and will be, y'know, treated like an antagonist blog. this one isn't here to be friends. it might be here to turn you into a warlock. (:

zariel doesn't leave avernus much. she has a blood war to fight, after all. she speaks on the material plane mostly through servants or agents. i'm going to be including one sub-muse on this blog (mizora, wyll's patron cambion from BG3) as well as the following that i've used in my own d&d game:

sharptongue, a red-brown furred imp with the head of a bat, who acts as one of zariel's mouthpieces for when she needs to speak to warlocks or hunt down runaways directly. he has no character of his own, he's just for zariel to talk through, more or less.

dame surila, a tortoiseshell tabaxi paladin, dressed in the light leathers of a knight of Lathander and armed with two shortswords. she was a hellrider of the ancient past once. she's also more or less an empty husk (died, after pledging her swords eternally to zariel) and the archdevil puppets her body for when she needs a mouthpiece on the material plane that's less obviously infernal. dame surila looks like an adventurer until inspected with magic like a paladin's divine sense, which reads her as both fiend and undead.

rules.

not doing shipping on this one, though mizora may be down for shenanigans. would you, though? would you do that to wyll? you gonna bang his patron and then look him in the eye about it?

i encourage you to send me asks on this blog, it's the easiest way to interact with me. all my stuff over here (askmemes, open posts) are free game.

always feel free to ask me to tag something it if makes you uncomfortable or otherwise. i'll try to tag common content warnings as best I can, and i'd appreciate if my mutuals could do me the great service of tagging anything related to cancer, real world terminal illness or hospitals. (fantasy/fictional diseases and such are fine.) this blog won't have any full-on smut on it, though it may include mildly sexual content. it will, most likely, have canon-typical mature content around the same level as in the actual game. violence, darker themes, ect.

i have a full time job. i am a low-activity blog that may take a long while to reply (& an especially long time to answer asks). please bear with me, and always feel free to poke me and ask about a particular reply—i actually prefer if people let me know about threads they're particularly invested in. but also, know that i'm not ignoring people, i just have limited time. sometimes i will hyperfocus on particular threads and take longer to get to some than others. it's just how my brain works.

i don't care if you don't use formatting, all i ask is that you proofread your posts, and trim threads so that they don't get too overly long.

have fun & be yourself ect ect.

[fifi-afterhours]

Telephones and Their Possible Connection with the Audience

So some time ago l was scrolling through @/partycoffin’s blog as one does when you fall into the fandom hole of welcome home, and I wanted to do a little speculation post about telephones and this picture:

Or more specifically, Eddie's and Howdy's ones, and their different rotary dialers.

[Supposed tiny post turned into long theory ramble below cut!]

(I have checked that this was made on 4 December, 2022, so I think this could be speculated on!)

As we can see, not only are the phone types different (with theirs presumably being portable), the numbers used for dialing are replaced with colours instead. Now, a simple explanation could be made that the colours simply replace the numbers, but that's not the case:

(I know they're not buttons, but let's just use that as a placeholder name for now-)

Neither of them seems to match with the 10 buttons needed for a a normal rotary dial, so the only explanation I could think of is that each colour corresponds with a neighbor.

@softestvine made a post about this before, and if you take a look at the guestbook signatures, the missing purple button on Eddie's phone makes sense since purple should represent him, and therefore his phone number in a sense.

The real question is why would Howdy have his own phone number. Maybe an extra set of hands means he owns two phones? Or maybe it's normal to have your own contacts to ring yourself up, and Eddie is actually the odd one out? For that I'm not sure.

Continuing on, there's also the curious addition of a black button, which doesn't seem to connect to any neighbor at all. My first thought was that it could be related to Home, but considering that it communicates through onomatopoeia that even Wally couldn't understand sometimes, I feel like it's doubtful that it's meant to be for Home. (though I'm not saying that it's impossible, just unlikely for now).

Which leads to the second theory: it's to represent us, the audience, the viewers of the show. My speculation is that there was a segment on the show that would involve the characters calling or receiving a phone call from a fan of the show, similar to how irl children shows that includes audience participation will show off fanworks in their episodes. (the closest example I could think of is Blue's Clues right now since my sister used to watch that).

Admittedly this feels like a stretch, but phones seem to be important to the show in some manner. In some old posts, we have audio of what prank calls to some of the characters are like, and although they're definitely not relevant to the work now, it's interesting to note that the concept of a way to communicate with the puppets exists.

Another thing is that on one of the secret pages of the website, you're sent to this page:

An error page that shows altered text and a phone gif instead of the one with Home. Perhaps I am looking too much into this, but compared to the other hidden links, why would this one take us to an error page first, albeit a different one?

Some people have pointed it out here that if you inspect the phone gif, it says "It's for you". When you click on it, you're taken to a page called 'duet' where Wally is singing to Home.

Don't you think it's coincidental that the only page with an audio file was only found through a phone? And why is the page called 'duet' when Home only responds after Wally finished his song? That's because the duet isn't sung by Wally and Home, it's supposed to be sung by Wally and you. By clicking on the phone, you're answering Wally's call, hence the "It's for you" file name.

My conclusion is that the phones were used to talk to the audience back when the show is running, and now Wally is using them to try to reach out to us.

[swordofsun]

I posted 3,394 times in 2022

That's 2,656 more posts than 2021!

153 posts created (5%)

3,241 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sidewalk-scrawls

@deanandkastiel

@jewishdeanwinchester

@aceofthegreenajah

@thycatsays

I tagged 1,745 of my posts in 2022

Only 49% of my posts had no tags

#wheel of time - 226 posts

#wot book spoilers - 136 posts

#the boys - 104 posts

#the boys spoilers - 88 posts

#wot on prime - 80 posts

#spnwin - 57 posts

#stranger things - 42 posts

#the winchesters - 38 posts

#the magnus archives - 36 posts

#leverage - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#then dean and cas talked about his deal with the empty and carefully held hands as we closed on them starting to research how to fix things

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

There should be one of those reblog game things where we just say The most fucked up scene from Animorphs that still lives in our heads. Occasionally coming out to remind you that those books were Fucked Up.

Mine would be the time Marco almost got stuck as a flea and only managed to partially de-morph so he was a human sized flea and Cassie had to gently hold giant flea Marco and talk him through his panic attack so he could finish de-morphing.

139 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

#4

Okay, @wigglebox wanted me to post this over here and they would follow up with their bonkers dutch angles stuff.

This is a "what the fuck is Dean doing in The Winchesters" theory. It takes Chuck Won as a given and is based on how insanely meta s15 was on top of the show being meta a fuck + the SPNWIN preview and the couple of scenes of tv static + Cas literally being narrative breaking + general vibes.

At some point after the end of 15x18 and the beginning of 15x20 Dean literally stepped out of the narrative. What we're seeing is Chuck's POV. This is the ending he wanted, the ending we never really got to see but that Becky hated so damn much. (Becky the audience insert that is given an absolutely lovely life to show how much the show cares for it's audience.) The Dean we see is a Chuck puppet or illusion of some sort.

Chuck may not have realized Dean stepped out of the narrative.

The real Dean, The True Dean, is off to the side. Just out of sight of the camera, watching it all go down. He can't effect anything because Sam and other Dean (if there even is an Other Dean) just go through the motions. Even more disturbing if it's like in Heaven when someone steps out of the memory and everyone else just continues on like they're there. There's no pie, no one on the piece of rebar, just Sam reacting as if there was. No one driving the Impala, just Chuck controlling everything.

Cas was literally narrative breaking. He didn't do what Chuck wanted and, through the power of love (an actual thing in SPN), Dean is able to make that step too. Just off camera where we can't see him watching.

So the Dean that we see in the SPNWIN preview is searching for the point where the narrative started. He's going back over his parent's story to figure out just when Chuck started actively taking an meddling role. With the end result a Cas rescue from the Empty and actually defeating Chuck.

(And possible AU where we get to see Mary and John without heaven's influence?)

139 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

#3

Sometimes it still amazes me that Stellar Firma really said:

Some people can be so bought into the system that even when they acknowledge the problems they will refuse to admit the system is at fault (Enola)

Even the most die-hard of revolutionaries can get lost when shown the decadence of the ruling class (David 7)

The most morally corrupt person you know can learn empathy and take up the fight (Trexel)

The only ethical solution to end-stage capitalism is to put everyone in the escape pods and hit the self-destruct button

That was a show.

202 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

#2

The important thing to remember about Rand al'Thor is that when he doesn't know what to do next he consults the prophecies that have been written about him for guidance.

The next important thing to remember is that while he's a giant nerd he's not classically trained so he'll jump to some wild ass conclusions.

The final thing to remember is that because he's Rand al'Thor he'll almost always be right about those conclusions.

272 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Yes, Harvey Dent is a Good Guy. That's part of his whole thing. He was Bruce Wayne's best friend and possibly the only honest DA in Gotham. He did good things and was a nice and honest person.

He's not Two Face yet! And even when he does become Two Face he's still a good guy approximately 50% of the time. That's where the coin flipping comes in. This is why Two Face is such an iconic villian and why you need a really great character actor foe the role. Once Harvey becomes Two Face the actor is essentially playing Two characters.

I'm so excited to see Misha sink his teeth into this role.

872 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bitchiha]

I just found your blog, and I love it already. Can I request relationship hc for Kankuro and Darui(if you write him)?

✎ Relationship HC’s (Kankuro, Darui)

A/N: so I’m proud I actually managed to whip a post out lol, also Kank and Darui are some of my fav characters and I’m sad I haven’t written much for either of them... anyways, enjoy and thank you for requesting this, wonderful anon!

Kankurou

So we can just jump straight into it here: you’re gonna have to put up with all the puppets. Like when you come over to his apartment for the first time you probably have 5 mini heart attacks. You’re shrieking around every corner you turn because there is always damn puppet there waiting for you. Sometimes it’s not even a full puppet, just a puppet limb. This continues to scare the shit out of you when you move eventually move in too. Like it’s something you cannot escape.

Yes, he does have a work room, but his work is not limited to that room (that’s what he’ll sassily tell you as he picks up the puppet you flung across the room because it basically jump scared you.) However.. Little by little you notice that he starts to leave less and less puppet parts around the house, which is really touching because Kank can be stubborn as fuck sometimes.

Also, he loves when you come over and sit on his lap while he works on one of his puppets; bonus if you let him blab about them. Honestly you don’t have to even listen, just make it look like you are. Let your hands play with his hair as you nod along whenever he pauses his sentence, knowing it’s a cue for a little response from you.

One of the scariest things you’ll have to deal with in the relationship is when Kankurou casually has conversations with his puppets. Like one night you came home a little late from work and you heard your boyfriend talking in a hushed tone and you’re like?? Who’s he talking to?? Figured it was Gaara because let’s be real.. Kank does not have a side hoe, he cannot get a side hoe, even if he wanted. So anyway.. You didn’t want to bother him, so you just quietly walk into the work room to peek inside, only to find Kank talking to one of his puppets. He notices you at the door and stops mid conversation and clears his throat, but it’s too late, you’ve already heard him.

“Kank.. babe.. we’re you talking to your puppet just now?” He just stares at you sheepishly, but the puppets still perched on his lap nonetheless, “... There’s no point in me denying it is there?”

He’s kinda shitty at gift giving on special occasions. Like he is just is so fucking bad that you’ve accepted the fact that your birthday gift will be a teddy bear like every single year. But he makes up for it with the random gifts he gives you throughout the year. Like if you’ve been away for a long time you always come home to some sort of cute little puppet waiting for you. He’s made one of your favourite animal, favourite anime character, mini versions of his own puppets, etc. At this point in the relationship you’re starting to get used to the puppets, so you end up keeping them on a shelf in your room. He always gets so giddy when he comes to your place and sees them displayed like that. And loves it even more when you keep them displayed after you move in together.

Sorry sweetheart, but if you do not like his siblings.. NEXT CALLER. Bye. He’s ending the relationship right there. But if you get along with them his heart melts, especially if you and Gaara become friends. Or like if you can remotely handle Gaara pre chunin exams. Yah will do it. He’s head over heels for you. You’re both protective mama bears now and will keep Temari and Gaara safe with your lives and vice versa.

Badass fighting duo. If anyone wants to fuck with Gaara or Temari you two are gonna fuck shit up to say the least. But even on missions too, like you guys can read eachother perfectly and even if you were bickering before the battle starts — all the tension goes out the window and you’re focused on the problem at hand. You can go back to flaming eachother afterwards. Just a little side note: he loves showing off his puppet skills. So don’t be surprised if he calls out “y/n! Babe! Y/n! Over here — This is how the Ant looks in action.” Then he proceeds to iron maiden the victim. Give him a thumbs up and congratulate him please. Even if it’s kinda a very graphic scene.

Kinda fucks with PDA tbh, like he tones it down once Gaara becomes Kazekage because he needs to keep up a respectable image, but still does light PDA. Pre Kazekage Gaara, he would suck your face off anywhere. But when Gaara becomes Kage, he just gives you quick kisses instead. Doesn’t go for handholding a lot, prefers having an arm around your shoulders or around your waist. Slaps your ass too, if there isn’t a lot of people around and he can get away with it. If you wanna make him jealous though, all that composure goes out the window.

KISS HIS HANDS. LOVE HIS HANDS. When you’re at home and you two are cuddling, run your thumb lightly over his knuckles, over his calloused palms, kiss the pads of his fingers... it just makes him so soft lol. Like kiss the scars of blisters or scratches from his work tools and he’s putty in your hands girl.

I’m 100% sure that Kank can handle a moody / bratty s/o. Like you’ve got a little spice? He can take that. Afterall, he handled little moody pre teen Gaara before, I’m sure he can handle you. Doesn’t mean he isn’t stubborn though, he won’t let you win arguments. Which is a problem if you’re stubborn too. You will argue for hours and wont even remember what you were arguing about to begin with, then one of you’ll have to be like: pause the music.. what were we even mad about? Neither of you can remember and you’ll just shrug it off and go out for ramen or something like nothing happened.

If you don’t already have somewhat of a thick skin when you start dating Kankurō, you will eventually form one. If not, shits not gonna work out. Like he’s just a teasing person and he likes to have little roast sessions, they just entertain him. He hardly ever oversteps himself when it comes to the banter, but if he does he’s kinda oblivious. If you start crying though he’ll feel so bad, like it was just mindless teasing he didn’t mean to make you cry. Will remember what made you react like that and won’t ever mention it again.

I think he also tells the best stories. Like he just has the best expressions and voice for it. Not to mention having a jinchuuriki and Kazekage as his brother; he’s experienced some crazy shit. He mindlessly babbles them out to you whenever something reminds him of that particular time. Like if he sees a person walking their dog, it brings him back to the time when he defended kiba against one of the Sound Four. Then boom. He just randomly blurts out the story as you two are walking.

Kankurou is a surprisingly good cuddler. He always wants to be the big spoon and likes to pull you close to his chest and sling his arm around you lazily when you’re watching tv together . He’s constantly getting his hands tangled in your hair because he loves to play with it. Sometimes if you fall asleep while he’s cuddling you, you’ll wake up two French braids or something. Honestly, you’ll be shocked at how he managed to do that at first, but let’s be real he probably styles his puppets hair in his free time.

Overall an entertaining s/o, I would reccomend.

Darui

Oh boyyyyyy... Where do I start with this guy? He’s such an amazing hype man. Like Darui is so fucking flattered that he managed to score such a smart and gorgeous person that he will never let you forget it. He swings you compliments all the time and they don’t even sound overbearing from him because he’s just that cool. Even the way he compliments you is cool. Don’t forget to compliment him too though.... pls be eachothers hype men.

He’s also the loyalist man you will ever meet — we see what he’s like with the Raikage, you can’t tell me otherwise. Like once the two of you are officially dating he is committed 100% to you and will do anything for you. So do not mistake his laid back demeanour for laziness because when it comes to your relationship he is ready to do whatever you want. You want a certain flavour of ice cream, but the store ran out? He will go to every single grocery store in the village to find you that flavour for you. His s/o deserves the best and if they can’t have their favourite ice cream then he won’t rest till they do. Literally. Sometimes you have to go out and find him and tell him it’s okay and that he can come home, you don’t need that flavour that badly.

Handles periods the best too. Like he’s actually mature about it for the most part. Will 100% go out and buy you tampons or pads because like I said, he will do whatever you want. He’s also practically a human heater so he will lay down with you and cuddle you to help relieve some of the cramp pains. Can figure out when you’re PMSing too and will handle it well too. Like you’re literally just spazzing out in the middle of the kitchen and you’re yelling about something that happened 2 years ago, he he just pulls you into a hug and holds you there until your anger dies down a little bit, then he picks you up and tucks you into bed. Idk how it works, but it does. Every single time.

When it comes to gift giving he’s so subtle about it. Like he isn’t the type to do something extravagant and flashy for his s/o, but his gifts are still so thoughtful and considerate that you can’t help but blush at them. He’s observant and he notices the things you like, what you talk about more than other things, etc. He takes all that into account when he wants to buy you a gift and every year he never fails to melt your heart. It also makes him super giddy when he sees you wearing / displaying his gifts in your room or something. He is always so insecure when he actually hands you the gift though, but the look of joy on your face instantly washes his hesitance away.

Honestly you two are the coolest couple in the whole Cloud, like you’re just such a badass duo. Omoi and Karui love you two, Killer Bee loves you two, Cee and the Raikage too. It’s kind of funny just how invested the Raikage is, though. Definitely cries hysterically if you and Darui get into a fight, hes all like “no! You two are meant to be, this can’t be happening!” And Darui is like... sir it was a minor fight, we’re still together... Killer Bee has also definitely made a rap about you two or at least used you two for a line in his rap. It was pretty garbage, but it’s the thought that counts; plus you guys are so cool that the rap just automatically becomes cool too.

Darui constantly apologizes for things that aren’t his fault. You learn to get used to it, but it’s a little confusing at first. One night he came to your apartment all depressed looking and he’s like “y/n, I’m so sorry, but I have to tell you this now.” And you think his ass is cheating on you or something because of how solemn he looks so you’re bracing yourself for the worst, when in reality he just wants to postpone your date an hour or two because he has to help the Raikage with something. You just stare at him for a good five minutes because wtf why didn’t he just call you? Like why does he look so distressed over something as minor as that??

Your fights don’t last very long at all. He’s a reasonable and understanding person, so he doesn’t initiate fights very often. I feel like you guys only really fight when it comes down to spending too much time apart. Like he’s been too busy with being the Raikages second hand man and you’ve been occupied with missions and your own business, you two just miss each other and kind of end up getting frustrated with each other and eventually you guys snap. Like you can’t make the date on Friday and want to re schedule, but Friday’s the only day he can make it. Cue snappy comments and one of you hanging up the phone on the other. Daruis always the first one to apologize though, go figure.

You guys are also another badass duo when it comes to fighting, like he’s super observant of you and he knows your next move before you know it. If you’re a bit on the impulsive side he’ll lowkey get frustrated because he doesn’t want you to get hurt when it’s something he can prevent. Especially if you’re fighting together, like he doesn’t want that on his conscience. Like you will never stop hearing him apologize if you get injured when he could have prevented it. You constantly have to shut him up lol.

Honestly playing with his hair is the best, he actually likes when you try and take care of it too. Even if it doesn’t work out all the time because you can’t really tame it, he loves the feeling of your fingers massaging his scalp anyway. So he’ll let you have your fun, but only you can touch it. His hair just feels so fucking nice too, like you have to refrain yourself from running your hands through his hair randomly. You definitely fluff it sometimes though.

He likes to be the big spoon when you two cuddle, but he doesn’t mind being the little one sometimes — only if you play with his hair though. Like just start running your hands through his hair and he’ll pass out just like that. Really likes when you lay your head on his chest and you just kind of sprawl yourself ontop of him. Sometimes he does that to you instead, especially after a long mission where he hasn’t seen you for a long time. He just lays his head on your chest and loves the feeling of your chest rising and falling gently as you sleep.

He is not that into pda, will wrap an arm around you or give you his jacket when you’re cold, but does not make out with you in public. If he’s feeling needy then he will simply pull you into an alley and kiss you there, but he’s pretty good at controlling himself and hardly ever needs to do that. Gives you occasional kisses on the cheek though, but absolutely no touching around the Raikage. Even if the Raikage literally doesn’t care. Darui just thinks it’s uncool.

You guys have super chill dates. Like just going out to dinner or hanging out at each others houses. The best dates are the spontaneous ones. Darui doesn’t do them all that often, but whenever there’s like a thunderstorm or a rainstorm outside, he will run to your place and you two will watch it together. Like just perch yourselves on the windowsill with a bunch of blankets and some snacks and you’re good to go. It’s kinda dangerous but both of your definitely fall asleep on the windowsill.

10/10 overall. Darui is so fucking cool he owns my ass.

[mcheang]

The critic

Sometimes restaurant owners are aware there is a critic among them, but they don’t know his identity. Sometimes they are unaware they are being visited at all. This is for @edeniz001

Meet Alain Ego. A youthful young man admitted to Ms Bustier’s class as an exchange student from Provence.

Here’s what you need to know about Alain. He is smart, responsible, but he’s dull. He is a wallflower. His appearance is unremarkable, his voice is softer than Nathaniel’s. And his social life is generally shy. His hobby is writing stories and taking photographs.

His deskmate is Ivan.

Predictably, after class was let out for lunch, Alain was surrounded by his class. Well, most of them.

Chloe and by extension Sabrina; could not be bothered to waste her time with a wallflower.

Marinette and Alya introduced themselves as the class president and Vice President. They warmly asked him to come to them if he needed help.

Nathaniel invited him to meet Marc since they both seemed to love writing.

Lila had never been to the French countryside but was inclined to boast about the Tuscan landscape. She seemed annoyed that Alain did not ask her for more details and that the rest of the class were paying more attention to the new student than to her.

Thankfully Alain would only be here for one semester. That was enough time for like...what, 25 akumas to show up?

Hope the new kid was fast. Dupont tends to be an akuma hotspot.

And was it ever...

The majority of the akumas were from Caline’s class. And that was remarkable considering how they had already been akumas. What is up with that?

Are they an emotional class?

Why is Hawkmoth out for them?

Granted some akumatizations happen outside school. But Alain happens to be there thanks to being invited to class activities.

Part of the blame belongs to Chloe.

A real bully that one. Alain can understand why the principal would be cowed by a corrupt mayor. For a so-called hero, he was a coward.

But Alain has noticed some students standing up to Chloe.

Namely the class president and her Vice President.

And yet for some strange reason, instead of telling Chloe off for being rude and mean, they just brush her off and redirect everyone’s attention.

Alain shyly asked Marinette why she lets Chloe get away with that.

Marinette: Because Ms Bustier told us to be good examples and forgive Chloe.

Alya: it’s why Chloe likes her so much. She lets Chloe get away with everything and tries to get her to be nice.

Alain’s eyes were wide at such a scandal.

When Alain’s witnessed his first akuma, he was at art class, making a photo collage of the students.

Let’s just say Chloe didn’t take criticism well at her first attempt at fashion design. Let’s also just say there’s a reason she stole Marinette’s design instead of relying on her mother’s genes.

Point is, Fashion Critic could make her harsh criticism a reality.

During that time, Alain had run for cover.

Unsurprisingly, Alya had run in the opposite direction.

Frightened, Alain asked for help as to where to run to.

Alya: There is no safe house or bunker. Akumas usually blow those up. Here in Paris, just run for cover.

Alain: any ideas?

Alya: not really. I don’t hide.

Alain: ....

Nino: don’t worry, dude. I know where the guys like to hide. Follow me. I’ll take him, Alya.

As they were running, Alain pointed out it should have been Alya leading him to safety.

Nino: she would have delegated it to me anyway. That girl loves to get her scoop.

Alain frowned in disapproval but said nothing. But perhaps he could try to talk to Alya later.

He did, and even Marinette took his side, when they both said she should stop running after akumas.

Alya: the public needs to know!

Alain: can’t you just post the location and powers and physical description? Why do you need to record the whole thing?

Alya; how else will my blog be popular?

Marinette: it’s still not safe, Alya.

Alya: oh relax, it’s not like the Teachers are complaining.

Ok, so Ms Bustier not only lets bullies run rampant without correcting their behavior, she also does not stop dangerous habits.

Curious about the students, Alain decides to be nosy. He visits the bakery and tries their delicious breads. He talks about animals with Mr Cesaire. He explored Juleka’s boathouse. He even babysitted Chris.

One day, Alain just so happens to visit the embassy building where Mrs Rossi works, at a time when she would be leaving for home.

Alain: Hello, excuse me, are you Mrs Rossi?

Mrs Rossi: Yes. And you are?

Alain: I’m Alain. Lila’s classmate. I thought I recognised you from her photos.

Mrs Rossi: oh. How nice to meet one of Lila’s friends. But I’ve been so busy with work, I barely have the time to spare.

Alain: I understand. But it’s nice to see you include Lila in your work.

Mrs Rossi: excuse me?

Alain: you know...you brought her to Achu last year to help out Prince Ali.

Mrs Rossi: I never went to Achu.

Alain: um...Lila was gone for months and FaceTimed us from there.

Mrs Rossi: when did this happen exactly?

Alain nervously tells her.

Mrs Rossi: Lila has been lying to all of us, it seems. She told me the school was shut down because of akuma attacks.

Alain: what? Akumas last only a day. The school has been disrupted by them, yes. But everything goes back to normal the next day. Didn’t you try calling the principal?

Mrs Rossi is stiff and she thanks Alain. She needs time to think. More than that, she wants another person’s opinion and confirmation about akumas before she decides on what else to do.

The next morning, Lila is at school. She makes no reference to Alain meeting her Mother. In fact she prefers to avoid him because he is so annoying. He rarely asks about her adventures and the questions are obviously and disinterestedly polite. What teenager isn’t excited by Jagged Stone?

In the middle of class, Lila is asked to the principal’s office. She returns fuming, with Mrs Rossi and the principal by her side.

Mrs Rossi ordered her Daughter. “Tell them the truth Lila.”

Lila is forced to confess her lies. In addition, for forging her mother’s signature and truancy, she is hereby expelled.

An akuma arrived to target her. As Caline rushed Lila away from the akuma, Marinette actually ran out and used her purse as a makeshift butterfly net. Since she wasn’t feeling negative (actually she felt pretty good about Lila getting exposed), the akuma was just fluttering around in her purse until Tikki threw a macaroon on it and proceeded to sit on it.

Alya is already posting on her blog about it, hopeful Ladybug will arrive to cleanse the akuma.

Marinette rushes out to the roof to wait for her there.

In the aftermath of Lila’s exposure, the class is certainly feeling wounded and guilty.

Caline is trying to advise them to forgive Lila who probably felt shy of their accomplishments.

Alain: Um, she asked me to carry her school bag because her arm was supposed to be sore from planting trees.

His words were a spark.

Kim: I bought her lunch.

Alya: I posted false information on my blog. Ok, technically I didn’t fact check. But Lila was not innocent!

Rose: I donated my summer job cash on her fake donation! (She proceeds to sob)

Caline: but she has already been punished, shouldn’t we extend our friendship to her now that she is alone?

Alain: She didn’t look all that repentant if you ask me. Didn’t you see her smiling at the akuma?

Adrien: Lila wouldn’t have hesitated to hurt us.

Alix: what a psycho.

Caline: that is enough. I want you all to forgive Lila and try to reach out a hand in friendship.

Ivan: But she’s dangerous

Max: and clearly not well if she keeps on lying that she can call Ladybug right after admitting she lied about knowing her.

Alain mutters to Ivan, “Wanna bet that Ms Bustier becomes Lila’s puppet if she actually does this?”

The next morning, Caline actually tries to order the class to say one nice thing about Lila and to write her a nice letter. Never mind that she clearly heard Alya report that Lila was exiled from Paris after Chat Noir admitted she had been working with Oniichan to endanger Ladybug. Apparently he had somehow heard how Lila was smiling at the akuma and suspected she was in league with the terrorist.

Alain so couldn’t wait for the term to end.

When it finally did, he gladly reported to the school board his investigation on the akuma class.

He blames Caline mostly for her redundant perspective that people need to forgive bullies and liars instead of educating them and correcting their behavior. Like seriously, how else would the victims get justice? She also lacks a sense of responsibility in that she refuses to correct Alya’s lack of self-preservation.

His advice: fire her or suspend her indefinitely, send her to get proper training. Get the class a strict and just teacher with a sense of fairness.

Once his job was done, Alain sighed and emptied his bag of textbooks. He could really go for some wine.

[quicksilversquared]

The Cat’s Girlfriend

Apparently not satisfied with the attention that her stories and previous Ladyblog interviews are getting her, Lila decided to claim that she was dating Chat Noir, which Chat Noir's civilian self has some problems with that. He can't really dispute the claim as Adrien, but- well, sometimes opportunities pop up when they're least expected.

links in the reblog

Lila had loved telling her superhero stories for months. She had become Ladybug's best friend only days after arriving in Paris, of course. Her grandparents had been superheroes in Italy. She and Ladybug hung out all the time, eating snacks that Lila had baked herself- she had been taught by a master baker, after all, and Ladybug set fire to anything she tried to bake, so it only made sense- and talking battle strategy. Ladybug took Lila to her and Chat Noir's hangout spots all the time- Lila showed off pictures that had clearly been taken from the top observation deck at night as proof. She helped Ladybug match powers and Miraculous, and wasn't it a pity that her hard work helping had been destroyed with Queen Wasp's appearance?

But her claim that she was actually dating Chat Noir? That was new.

Their classmates oohed and ahhed, exchanging excited looks while Lila ducked her head bashfully, not-so-subtly basking in the attention and fielding questions with a shy look on her face.

"Apparently her last story had stopped getting her enough attention," Plagg snickered from inside of Adrien's jacket. "Whatcha going to do about this story? Just let people believe that Chat Noir is dating Lila?"

"What else can I do?" Adrien hissed back. He didn't like it, but Adrien wasn't supposed to know what was going on in Chat Noir's private life. If he tried to claim anything else, then people would be suspicious and it would just draw unwanted attention. If he had an opportunity to correct the story as Chat Noir, then he would, but the chances of him getting that opportunity? Really low.

(After all, if he brought it up out of the blue, then that would suggest that he was close enough to hear Lila, unless Alya posted about it on her blog. And even if she did... well, it might be seen as mean-spirited to just bring up and bash that one specific claim when he hadn't been asked about it, even if it would totally be well within his right to do so.)

The bell cut off the questions, and everyone broke away from huddle around Lila. Almost against his will, Adrien's attention slid backwards as Alya and Marinette returned to their seats. No doubt Marinette would point out the very obvious holes in Lila's claims- after all, everyone with eyes could see that Chat Noir was interested in Ladybug, not a random lying civilian- and then Alya would just dig her heels in, ignoring all of the holes in the story in favor of complaining that Marinette wasn't giving Lila a chance.

It happened every time, after all. Adrien could understand why- it was really annoying to see their friends suckered, over and over again, and Marinette was all about justice and fairness- but they just weren't getting anywhere.

(He had tried jumping in on Marinette's side the week before, because Lila had been trying to get a class outing rescheduled because she was "going to be gone" and "would hate to miss it- she would feel so left out!" and rescheduling would have fallen on Marinette, but Alya had just dug in even deeper, meeting his resistance with her own. So that- well, it hadn't worked.)

(Thankfully Marinette had flat-out refused to change the date, informing the entire class that if they wanted to come up with a second outing on a date that worked for Lila, that was up to them but she was too busy to change everything.)

"She's so lucky that she's Chat Noir's girlfriend," Alya was gushing behind Adrien. "Ladybug as her best friend, Chat Noir as her boyfriend- I bet Ladybug introduced the two of them! And it's no wonder that he's interested, because she's a sort of civilian superhero on her own, isn't she? With all of her charity work and everything."

Adrien cringed. Here it came, another argument between two besties-

"You know, I bet that Chat Noir would love to tell you how they got together! He seems the romantic type- y'know, the kind to absolutely gush about their girlfriend?"

Adrien's mind flatlined.

...what.

"I bet that would make a really great video for the Ladyblog," Marinette continued, and Adrien turned to- well, not to stare, because that would be rude, but to try to figure out what was going on. Had Marinette been akumatized? Or, more likely, had Lila been akumatized and now was controlling Marinette like a puppet? "I know you said that videos have been slow lately, because too many of the fights have been too dangerous for you to get close, so maybe a superhero's personal life interest piece would help with that?"

"Ooh, yeah!" Alya agreed, hand shooting out to snag her notebook and pencil, and Adrien blinked in confusion. Had both of them been taken over by weird body-snatchers or something? Their Lila-centric conversations never went like this. "I can interview both of them! Lila said that I could ask her about their relationship after class today, so I can get her side of the story then, but yeah, my viewers would love to hear it from Chat Noir, too. I'll ask him for the story after the next akuma fight! Well, the next one I can get to," she corrected, looking a bit sheepish. "My parents said that if I run off again and leave my sisters in the apartment when I'm meant to be babysitting, I'll be grounded for a month. And I can't get out of school. But the next chance I get! Now I gotta think up questions before that happens- I can't get caught unprepared!"

Alya started scribbling furiously in her notebook, Adrien's eyes slid over to Marinette. She caught his gaze and her lips twitched up in a smirk before she winked, and it all fell into place. Once again, Marinette was proving just how smart she was and how well she could put that into practice when she wasn't letting her frustration blind her.

Clever, Marinette. Instead of doing the same thing she always did and arguing with Alya about Lila, she had outwardly gone along with it and in doing so, had managed to steer Alya into doing exactly what she wanted to. Now Alya would go to Chat Noir, not to fact check but just to get more information for her scoop, and end up find out exactly how truthless Lila's stories were.

...well, he might just get his perfect opportunity to debunk Lila's lies after all.

  It really was no real surprise when Ladybug and Chat Noir spotted Alya biking after them during the next akuma attack. She kept on their tails, cell phone apparently mounted on the front end of her bike to minimize the likelihood that she would lose control of the bike while steering one-handed, and was the first reporter on-site after the akuma had been defeated and it was safe to approach.

Considering that she wanted her story first, that was no real surprise. She had to get to them first, since Lila's "side of the story" had been filmed and posted the previous day. Adrien had been surprised by that, but after texting Marinette, it had all become clear. Alya had never been known for her patience, and, well, two posts and two videos were better than one! So she had posted the interview with Lila, promising a "part two" soon. That meant that people would be interested, and they would no doubt come back regularly until the part two was posted.

(And they would, Adrien knew that. Apparently Lila had heavily implied that she knew who Chat Noir's civilian self was, though she hadn't said it outright, and that had people clamoring for more interviews to try to get any clues they could.)

...he had to feel a little bad for Alya, honestly. There would be no easy way for her to hide the fact that she hadn't fact-checked any of her articles featuring Lila and her friendship with Ladybug, and that wouldn't reflect well on her. Still, she couldn't say that Marinette hadn't warned her.

Maybe this would just be a much-needed wake-up call to Alya that she couldn't just dig her heels in and not check her facts just because she thought that she was right.

"Ladybug! Chat Noir!" Alya called eagerly, biking over eagerly and yanking her phone from the holder as she practically tossed her bike aside. "Do you have a few minutes for a quick interview?"

"It depends on how quick," Ladybug quipped. "I have three minutes, I think, and Chat Noir, you have-?"

"Four." He considered Alya. "But I'll have to go in two or three to be safe."

"Great!" Alya practically shoved her phone in his face, and it was only his model training that kept Chat Noir from yanking his head back and giving himself several chins in the process. "So, I recently learned about your relationship with the one and only fantastic Lila Rossi, and Paris and I would love to hear your side of the story of how you got together!" The camera swung to Ladybug briefly. "And how you helped set them up!"

Hook, line, and sinker. He had Alya right where he wanted her. Thank you, Marinette.

"You must be mistaken, I'm not dating anyone," Chat Noir told her, pasting on his best puzzled look. "All of Paris knows that I only have eyes for Ladybug, after all. I don't know why anyone would think otherwise." He shrugged. "Someone must just be spreading rumors."

Alya paused, clearly taken aback. The phone inched backwards a hair. "But- but Lila told me herself! All about how Ladybug introduced the two of you, and how you got closer, and- and-"

Next to him, Ladybug let out an exasperated sigh. "I thought I told Lila to quit making up stories about knowing me months ago. It was annoying then, it's still annoying now, and I'm certainly not thrilled that she's dragging Chat Noir into it now, too. I'm sure that if she's been making up stories about other famous people, that they're not thrilled about it either."

Alya took a slow step back, looking a bit paler than usual. Admirably, though, she kept on filming, even though she had to know that her integrity as a reporter was getting torn apart live. "I- oh."

"The first time either of us met Lila Rossi was at or right before her akumatization into Volpina for the first time," Chat Noir chimed in. "And the only time either of us has come into contact with her is during akuma battles, either when she was akumatized herself or when she was purposefully getting in our way by claiming that she was badly injured and needed attention. If she's claiming otherwise- well, then it's her own fault if Hawkmoth decides to target her thinking that we're friends. I suspect that she's just making up all sorts of tall tales to get people to like her so that she can manipulate them into doing what she wants."

"Oh."

"I had hoped that such a public call-out wouldn't be necessary and that Lila would realize that lying about having connections with famous people such as superheroes was wrong, but clearly talking to her relatively privately hasn't done a thing." Ladybug glanced around at all of the assembled reporters. They had caught up now and were eagerly recording. "So I might as well make it clear: We are not connected to Lila Rossi in any way. I am not friends with her, Chat Noir is not dating her, and any claims to the contrary are not at all based in fact. She is lying about having connections for her own gain, and I would take any stories she tells with a huge grain of salt." She waved, winding up to throw her yo-yo. "Bug out!"

...well, clearly Ladybug wasn't going to give Lila any wriggle room. Harsh, but admittedly deserved at this point.

"She said it all, folks," Chat Noir told the cameras with a winning smile. "Any stories from Lila Rossi should probably not be trusted, at least not without a very in-depth check first. If something sounds too good to be true, well..." He shrugged, determined not to lose his cheer. "It just might be."

With that, Chat Noir took off into the sky, heading back home and feeling lighter than he had for a while, a load off of his shoulders now that the rest of the world- well, Paris at least- knew not to trust Lila Rossi. Maybe it was a bit of a dramatic approach to the problem, as highly publicized as the call-out had been, but if he had learned nothing else during the months of dealing with Lila that they had gone through, it was that she was slippery and would just come up with more excuses. Maybe there would be fallout- fallout that he had, admittedly, initially been hoping to avoid, with Lila no doubt pouncing on yet another akuma to try to get revenge- but in the end, everything would hopefully be better.

It was weird to say, really, but maybe Lila lying about dating Chat Noir had been the best thing that could have happened, since it had provided the perfect opening for the superheroes to correct the lies that she had been spreading without looking like they were picking her out unfairly. If they were super lucky, maybe the added publicity from all of the major news stations would get the attention of Lila's mom, and some of her other lies would start unraveling with a vengeance.

Even if that didn't happen, Alya and the rest of their classmates would be aware of Lila's lying now. They weren't going to trust her, which meant that Lila would be left powerless. She couldn't do anything when everyone around her was aware of her manipulations.

The rest of the school year was truly looking up.

[transgamerthoughts]

What I Found In The Leaves

Last August, as the lease to my apartment was about to end, the roof began to smolder until the place I lived was full of smoke. When all was settled and done, my apartment had no roof. My room was spared and most of my things were okay—this part of the story being set in late capitalism, I am required to assure you that the things I purchased were okay too—and I decided to leave New York City to return to New England with my family. One of the first things I did when I arrived was look at the sky and imagine I was up there. Falling or sailing or flying. It didn’t really matter. I wanted to touch a cloud, to feel the whipping wind.

I promise… this is leading to something. In the months since, in spite of comfort and proximity to my family… in spite of the arrival of my nephew into this world—a child I would climb a mountain and punch God for if I needed to—and in spite of a happy job… I have spiraled into depression. My solution was work and writing. To throw myself into my job and to, somewhat foolishly, take on the task of novelizing my favorite game: Skies of Arcadia. Because if you’ve read my work long enough, it always comes back to Arcadia. I am proud of that project but it sparked a yearning in me. To truly connect to the world I was writing. It lit a fire. Before we proceed, let me be clear that by depression I don’t mean the woes of pandemic living or some disaffection with the reality of entering my 30s. I mean a deep and painful darkness with all the implications therein. Regardless to say, my efforts to combat it drained me. To the point that I burnt myself out and with some prodding from my boss, took a vacation. Which I am currently on. This is not the first time this series of events has played out. I made a promise to myself when I started vacation: no writing. I am breaking it because I have found, yet again, a moment where I must desperately drain the wonder in my heart and attempt to explain to you that I think there are magical things in the world, and that I believe there is some type of magic in art—in that strange alchemic or shamanistic way—that transfers to us. This will be my second attempt to explain it, and to explain what it has to do with video games. (Forgive the indulgence of this introduction by the way; an editor would surely have cut it all but I need you to understand two things: I am in pain and there's a part of that pain which I think points to something important.) This is a story of ritual and tea. Of how my senses and imagination came together to send me on a journey around a fictional world, in search of heroes who both do and do not exist. As part of my love for Skies of Arcadia, I’ve become something of a paraphernalia collector. I bought an old light novel from ebay, I used my rudimentary Japanese skills to set up a warehouse dropbox so that two fan magazines could be sent there and then subsequently shipped to America, and I have drank tea based off the game. At the time, I wanted to collect the little tins the tea came in; they seemed excellent collector’s items. What I found with my first round of tea was art unto itself; balances of flavor and spice and blends that symbolized characters and connected me to them. These were crafted by a dedicated fan and fellow writer. I don’t have the time to sit and research all the ways in which tea is used in ritual. Because I am tired and older and depressed and writing a blog post that perhaps thirty people will read. Regardless, to my delight I found that the tea-maker had created blends based off the various moons that dot Arcadia’s skies. For those who do not know the game, which I assume is many of you: each nation of the world rests under a magical moon. There are six, with one—a Black Moon—theorized to have gone missing. Here was my opportunity for a journey.

I bought teas based on each moon, and one based on the world itself. I will post a separate collection of all my individual tastings and reviews later. The important thing is this: I had been given an amazing gift. With these teas, I had something of that digital world which was actual. When we play games, we hear them and see them. Perhaps with certain haptics we can feel them. But we do not smell them or taste them or literally consume them. Eight teas, eight chances to smell and taste that wonderful world. To touch the clouds. Quem quaeritis? This is a famous question asked by an angel to the three Marys visiting Christ's tomb: his mother the Virgin Mary, Mary Magdalene, and Mary, who is the sister of Lazarus—the man Christ brought back to life after his death. It means: “whom to do you seek?” I was journeying, one tea cup at a time, around Arcadia. From continent to continent, I tasted their spices and experienced hints of their values, their cultures as expressed through the tea. The question played in my mind: Quem quaeritis? Whom was I seeking? The answer is complicated. First, I was seeking something of myself. The part of me that understood magic and wonder. The part of me that believes in the soul and believes that art, in allowing the complex interaction of creators and characters with players, performs some type of soul-magic. It impresses upon us, real and actual changes. I was seeking that piece of me; that part of me that understood that each cup was a ritual that brought about a communion with a distant world. I was searching for the younger part of me that believed in wonderful things. 

I drank the teas in the order our heroes travel the world, and in doing so I was performing a sort of perseveration of their journey. I communed with some place distant and followed in their footsteps. Which answers another half of the question. Whom did I seek? I sought my heroes. I sought the adventurous Vyse and his dogged determinism, I sought the firecracker Aika and her swift rushes to action, and I sought Fina. The woman I wish I could be: feminine, slight, beautiful, kind, brave. Quem quaeritis? All of this sounds like nonsense and when I try to explain the nonsense, I feel a deep embarrassment. To care in the 21th century, particularly in America, is to be weak. To be publicly vulnerable is to make yourself a target. You must be hard and solid as a rock. You cannot believe in magic or else you are doomed. But here I was, chasing myself and my heroes one cup at a time. And I need you to know that it hurt to do that. 

I went to the corner store today to buy some energy drinks. When I got back home, my father asked: “did you find what you were looking for?” I told him “That’s a very complicated question.”

Let me explain. Let me do the thing that I feel I cannot do well anymore; let me do some game criticism. In the world of games, the entities we control exist as two things. They are actors; manipulatable bodies, guided by code and controller inputs, that we guide around as we see fit. In this way, players have extraordinary power. In some ways, it is a… fraught power. We can, as Soulja Boy did, leave Braid’s protagonist in a perpetual flux state: jumping and rewinding. Back and forth, forth and back. Eternal puppets for our amusement, avatars for our power fantasies. Sometimes, as in the case of a game like Skyrim, our controllable actors are little more than flesh suits But actors are, more than anything, just… avatars. Video game actors are also characters. Within their worlds, which are fictional, they have motivations and wants and desires and dreams. They want to live and grow and succeed. Cloud Strife wants to defeat Sephiroth and uncover the truth about himself, Joel wants to protect Ellie and survive in a cruel world. Arthur Morgan wants to find a calmer life and redemption for his sins. They are, as characters, people. But since they are also actors, we can deny them their hopes and dreams whenever we want. We can have Cloud while away his days gambling at the Gold Saucer and, if we want, we can force Arthur Morgan to murder to population of an entire town. The core truth of a player's relationship to the character is this: we decide if their dreams are fulfilled. I find that troubling and I will try to explain why. But first let’s be clear: I do not think the character in games are sentient entities. I outlined this relationship of players and characters in a GDC talk a few years ago, using highly rhetorical terms and my reward was the ridicule of countless gamers who questioned my sanity. Some made videos about my presentation. It was hell. To be a woman, perhaps especially a progressively minded trans-woman, in games is to know a very real hell. To this day, I cannot go a week without some type of horrid experience on the internet. Some judgment of my worth, some assumption about my competency, or in the worst cases some proclamation about my right to live. No doubt this is part of why I needed my vacation. But here is why I find the player/character/actor relationship troubling. It is not merely the abstract notion, the thought experiment that elicits fun but meaningless philosophical natter. The reason I find that relationship troubling or at least complicated is because for all of their fiction, the characters in games can give us real things. They can, through some type of power—a deep power found in the act of story-telling itself—impart aspects of themselves on us. For instance, they can teach us lessons which we then carry into the rest of our lives. My father, for reasons I can’t recall, once told me: “the meaning of life is to serve others.” Though he does not know it, that truism has been etched into my soul. It is a “thing” that my father has given me. But my father is not the only person who has etched something into my soul. Vyse, that dashing pirate, has etched many things into my soul. For instance: “impossible is just a word people use to make themselves feel better when they quit.” That is etched on my soul too. Just as much as anything my father has taught. So we come to the heart of it: what does it mean that Vyse can so alter my being and values, and that he can do it with the same strength and “realness” of my father? What does it mean for a character, who is also often an actor that I guide, to give me such a powerful gift? Because let us be clear: values are “real” things. When I tried to explain that I believe that certain things are actually true, for instance that looking at landscapes does mean that we are looking at something real…. I spent an afternoon with former Jeopardy! contestant Arthur Chu and a cohort of Twitteristas attacking my philosophical surety. So, again, fuck the internet… I digress.. Let’s explore: I believe in the realness of things because of the depth of the emotions those things make me feel, and I refuse to believe that life is just endorphins, hormones, and instinct. That music or games or anything else can make us weep for joy is proof-positive to me of the existence of a soul; of an ineffable thing that is “us.” Not necessarily all enduring but certainly extant. And if this thing exists, it can be acted upon. I know this because my father, with his truism, changed my soul. Changed the core of me. I know this because Vyse and the others did so as well.

I’ve written that games criticism is a kindness; that it seeks the good in art and attacks the banal explicitly because art is beautiful. I write today to suggest this: art is magical. It alters us, not metaphorically, but in the ways it can affect our souls. Which brings us back to character and actors. I control Vyse since he is an actor and I am a player; but he is a character with dreams and hopes and personality. And values. Wonderful values which he shared with me. So what does it mean now that I can send actors to their doom? What does it mean that I can control them utterly when I know for a fact that they can affect and change me? I do not have clean answers for this. Perhaps there are none. Perhaps all I have written is silliness, even as I beg you to please understand. Please. 

Understand the power of stories, understand it in the way that Tolkein did when he said: “Creative fantasy, because it is mainly trying to do something else … may open your hoard and let all the locked things fly away like cage-birds.” Understand that I am telling you that the locked thing is your heart and soul, and that just as a lover or parent or mentor can open that thing… so can the people we meet in our fictional journeys. Vyse is not just the captain of a ship. He is my captain. That means something. Art is ritual and play is ritual. In creation, we place something of ourselves in another thing. In play, we allow ourselves to be transmuted and changed. This is magic, of a sort. I am left wanting however. I followed the path of my heroes in as literal a way as I could, pulling on new senses to understand the world they live in and touch their skies for a fleeting moment. But I cannot reach them; I am Tantalus in the mire. Ever reaching, ever chasing. For that moment I can be the person that my heroes trusted me to become. Note by musical note, word for written word, tea cup by tea cup, I am chasing my captain. When I went back to my apartment the day after the fire, I looked up at the spot where the roof used to be. All I could see was blue sky and I thought I might fall into it. Perhaps in superficial ways I have shared something with my heroes; I have tasted something they have, even though the tea is not actually from Arcadia. It was merely a conduit to my imagination, to the transformed parts of my souls. Yet, I did not find him and I could not find myself. Which is why it hurts, in spite of how wonderful it was. Quem quaeritis? He is not here. So I will keep sailing after him.

[marshmallowprotection]

Kait Reacts To The AE 4/?

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. So, Spoilers AHOY. Expect Another post like this later today, there is just too many chats to put it all in one post. So, hey, if you click this, you’re opening yourself to spoilers, you make the choice.

[00:23 + Visual Novel] 

Hey, hey, hey, it looks like Saeran leaving the chat open was a good thing. It was my hope that it was going to do something like this by him leaving it open because there was only one way this is going. I knew that his brother wasn't going to be able to get a hold of his phone in the situation that he was in and if he did, it wasn't going to be pretty. I know that we got a frantic text from him earlier but it was very vague and he told us not to do anything or come for him. So I'm pretty sure that he's not going to be happy that we're coming for him none the less. It is how to be able to talk to Vanderwood like this, it's been a while. I think the last time consistently that we had contact with them where we interacted with them was during V Route. Ah, Remember When that CG made everyone go crazy?

I honestly wasn't sure that it was sent first to be honest with you and I was kind of concerned that it was the boss. But, we know that tone of voice and that way that they freeze themselves so it kind of took away some of the anxiety that I was feeling.

Vanderwood feels very clearly guilty over what happens because they do continue to apologize to us about it and it's just kind of what they have to do, at least that's what they say. As I said before they were given this Mission without a choice and they make a point to us very clearly that they have no control over it and said we need to stop while we're ahead. Saeran doesn't want to run away or give up anymore. He wants to be able to make his life what he wants it to be and for it to be that he needs to be able to help his brother.

Vanderwood basically spent the rest of the chat telling us about how they view Saeyoung. But, they were talking about him in the past tense because he's likely not to make it to the morning in their opinion. They basically say that we need to turn around right now and run away. They say that they have been the agency for over 12 years and that just makes me wonder about their age even more. I want to say early 30s? They're clearly trying to do their best with what they have on that situation because they need to delete the call log and everything before the boss is it because they have to hand over the phone. So I don't know what we're going to do next with the chat room. I don't know if we can reason with Vanderwood.

They care about Seven but they're not willing to die for him. Saeran begs for anything but they leave.

And then, onto the Visual novel. Saeran comes back to our room and we are fast asleep now. He said he should have hurried but he's happy to lay here with us while he can. There's a lot on his mind, so many ideas and... he is forlorn with so much right now. He doesn't know what he is going to do. He only knows that he feels like he can strive forward because we believe in him and that helps him believe in himself.

In the end, he decides that he doesn't want to run away even though he's scared. He's come to the point where he wants to be able to talk to his brother and work past what happened and what was forced upon him and that's a really big step from where he once was. He knows that he may not be able to handle his trauma response but he wants to try. He wants to give it a chance and he wants to see things through fruition. He really does and as he lays here with the player, the only thing he could think about is how he doesn't want this moment to end and for things to move forward because that means that he's going to have to face his demons. But, he'll do it. He'll do it as long as you're there with him.

[02:22]

I woke up in a daze at four in the morning to do this chat and got seven hearts and one hourglass out of it. I wasn’t all that surprised when it came to what was happening to be honest with you. I knew that once we have Vanderwood around it was going to be... getting serious and now we’ve hit that wall that says that we need to get them to help us. Saeran knows that we need more help but we can’t turn back to C&R or the RFA because they’re still asleep.

There’s only so much that we can do right now and that worries me.

Saeran has really hit that point where he needs to admit that we need help, and he wants to make things right with Saeyoung. I’m happy that he wants to try in a lot of ways even though he knows that it’s going to hurt him sometimes... he still  knows that he have to try. We have to see it through.

Even risking it on Vanderwood.

[8:00]

Zen is awake now. He’s... really shocked about what’s going on and I cannot blame him in the slightest for it. He wishes that he could help us but there’s not a lot that anyone can do. Every time this game says fake news, I cannot. I cannot with this game. I see what they’re saying and it only makes me wanna throttle Saejoong with my bare hands. That’s what’s gonna happen before the end of the day, I swear to God. I just hate bad dads. I hate people with this much vitriol in their hearts.

Jaehee and Jumin are still not awake and we have to point out that since they aren’t around, the rumor mill is only going to get worse. I’m worried about them and I’m worried about our friends. I want them to be alright but I know that we are well from out of the woods on this. I’m just happy to talk to Zen, he’s always my trust knight in shining armor. He wants to help us, and honestly, when he said that he never would have let us leave like we did...

I know he’s right. He’s almost in shock over V... and Rika.

It’s the calm before the story. Here comes the visual novel and I really think this is a bad ending that people have been hitting? Can someone tell me if the novel from this hour is a bad ending point? I passed this branch but I don’t know. I’ve been logging what I can about where I think BEs are but I know that I won’t know until I actually hit one. Here’s hoping that I can get this right the first time. If not, well, this blog is gonna be quiet for a WHILE.

And boy, howdy, this visual novel fucked me up.

We’re going into the apartment. 

Well, we’re going into the apartment. We have the code and everything and it’s going to be... something. I knew that I couldn’t let him go in there alone because I feared it would spark the BE that I assume is there. So, I went with him and I refused to let him suffer this weight alone. So, hold your breath and here we go into hell. I was worried that Saeyoung wasn’t... okay.

The Prime Minister is gone. Saeyoung is here. We have a discussion about what is really going on. What the deal was and let me fucking tell you that I fucking screeched. I knew it I was right. I knew I was right. All I have to say is that I just fucking knew it. I knew it and I hate that. 

I knew that Rika and V were going to do something like this. I didn’t want to think that V was going to do this. I didn’t want to say that Rika was going to use them or kill them to gain her safety from hell but yeah, I knew that it was possible and that was my worst case scenario.

It’s Bad Ending 3 all over again where we have a puppet king. I’ll get to that in a second. Saeyoung is in shock to see his brother and I just... I had to take a moment when i was playing because he was crying, Saeran was on edge, and I was on the brink of tears myself to see them together again. However, I knew that we weren’t going to be able to save him today. My worst thought was Rika AND V using the boys for their own gains. V already went down but while I’m seeing him as the tragic martyr, I really don’t know what I’m supposed to think if he’s willing to do this for Rika.

This is why I tell you to never trust Rika. This is why I said over and over again that it was a trap and she was lying. It’s always about Rika. I don’t care what she intended, this deal with the boss and the Prime Minister was made so they could be puppets. Saeyoung and Saeran were to be used as a ploy to make everyone hate C&R and give power back to Saejoong and the agency. 

I’m fucking livid. 

However, we came with Saeran, he wasn’t knocked out, and this is why Rika and V kept saying “You’ll be happy even without Saeran” and “I wished that the haven Saeran had with you would be nice but...” Nope. Both of you on literally on my throttle list right now. I don’t know if V would try to help them but how can he at that point? V, you’re driving me nuts. I don’t want to hate you as well but you are giving me a fucking headache. I already know I can’t trust Rika. I can’t believe you’ve made me never want to trust you again, and you’ve always been on thin ice with me. 

What’s worse, is that I knew what was coming after this. 

Saeyoung’s deal is that Saeran goes free. As long as Saeran is free, then he will... suffer. He will suffer and play the role until he dies to ensure that his brother can live. There’s tears in his eyes but he’s accepted this fate, he wants Saeran to be happy and free so he’s going to be a puppet for the Prime Minister, Rika, and more. What’s more, is that he’s going to destroy C&R with a secret he knows about them to ensure that Saeran can leave, that we can leave this him and ensure he’s safe and happy. 

Saeyoung would do anything for his brother, and Saeran knows with tears in his eyes that his brother hasn’t changed. He’s still in there. That hatred that was put on him was... not okay. He knows, he can see it in his heart that he can’t be mad with his brother right now. He wants to save him but here  Saeyoung is again, about to give up everything for him. 

Saeyoung would do anything. Anything. For his brother. That kind of love is... I don’t know. It’s strong and true. He knows that by doing this, it means that his friends will suffer the most. He knows that... everyone will hurt, but he has to do this for Saeran. He has no choice. We have no choice. He has to be a puppy, and he tries to reassure Saeran... tries to make sure that he knows that he loves him and that he’s happy he’s safe and...

I cannot express most of my thoughts. I’m crying?

Saeyoung feared that Saeran hated him all this time because he left him behind but he sees us with Saeran, and he decides that we’re a good person. He trusts us with him and he wishes us the best. Then, he makes sure that we leave, he gets Vanderwood to take us out. Saeran is in a state of shock about this and he cannot speak, we have to leave with Vanderwood in tow. When we’re gone, Saeyoung says that he won’t do shit until we’re out of the building and gone from here. 

“I’ll be your puppet when I know he’s safe.” 

“Before I let you do that, tell me about C&R and what you know. You owe me now, so you better pay up.”

I was still in tears when Zen called, but that was more or less him just making sure we were okay and that... you know, Saeyoung... I couldn’t even tell him that we couldn’t save him. I just said, “We WILL save him.” Because, neither Saeran nor I are going to rest here. This is not the end. 

[09:45 + Visual Novel]

Alright, I knew that something was going to happen with Vanderwood after this. They kept Saeyoung’s phone. I knew that I could trust my gut with them, I know they won’t die for Saeyoung. However, they’ve been with him long enough that they look out for him like he’s their pesky child. I appreciate that, and God, if you like Vanderwood, you’re just getting fed right now. I honestly love to get more in their head because we hardly ever have gotten a chance for that in the past and it just helps me confirm that they’re such a Tsundere. 

I have to agree with them. I know that the agency isn’t going to hold up their end of the deal. People like that? Yeah, no, I can’t count on them. They’ll be sure to go ahead and kill not only Saeran, but us as well. That clears up everything that they could have ever had a problem with. Saeyoung will be a puppet for them as long as he breathes until they don’t need him anymore. And, the agency will kill us and simply tell him that we’re alive. 

They’ll likely doctor photos if Saeyoung ever presses, but honestly, I don’t know how could have faith in them knowing about the deal. Even Vanderwood tells us what I suspect. 

Yeah, and I know that I’m not wrong about that. People like this are cut-throat and they simply do not care. It’s a short chat and then we jump into the Visual Novel really quick. Saeran is still... having a moment, but we talk it through an he confirms once more that he... knows that Saeyoung wasn’t lying. He could feel it in his heart and see it in his eyes. He blames himself for believing the lies but we reassure him that it’s going to be okay. He was a child. It’s not his fault. He was the one that was tricked and manipulated. 

You once again get to decide if you want to abandon everyone or if you want to try to save him. Vanderwood texts you a location to meet and now we’re going to try and meet with them. I decide that we’re not stopping until we’re saving him and Saeran agrees. We can’t let Saeyoung suffer and there’s just too much to leave him. We won’t be safe until we have Saeyoung with us. 

And... then we go back to Saeyoung. 

He’s playing the part of a puppet. He lies on camera and says everything was just a farce. “I’m not really the son of the Prime Minister. My mom just told me that and I wanted to get his attention, so I acted out like a child the entire time and fortunately, the man has forgiven me for acting like a child.” I’m unable to really focus on this because it really hurts to see Saeyoung like this. 

I’m having call backs to Savior Saeran.

I just... it hurts to see this. There’s not a lot to point out here other than the fact that he’s suffering so fucking much. The boss orders Vanderwood to knock him out, and Saeyoung pauses, demanding that he knows that we got away and that we’re safe. The boss says no. Vanderwood quickly flashes the chat log to him and then knocks him out after the boss orders him. This agent is on really thin ice right now but they’re really risking everything to do this. This is a fine line to walk and I’m happy they are on our side for now. 

And now as for the secret that we know about C&R? 

Oh my God. Jumin was using an implant on Elizabeth whenever something happened as a digital marker for deals and agreement. Nobody would have ever suspected anything at all when Elizabeth was in the room! They merely think that Jumin is just really fond of his cat, and we know that he is, but wow, this man thinks of everything, doesn’t he? They’re about to cat-nap Elizabeth to get their hands on deals, marking, and more. This is everything that C&R has and it isn’t just what the public knows, it’s a mark of everything that happens down to the letter. 

They wonder if Saeyoung is lying, though, even though Vanderwood has found a trace. 

But... 

There’s a phone call with Saeran after this but it’s mostly just us confiding in each other and talking about our next move. We’re going to Vanderwood and we aren’t going to stop until we rescue Saeyoung.